#i might do merry and pippin too.. miss these guys

[meruz]

sam & frodo

edit: someone on twitter asked for them kissing

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: The Steward and the King

New chapter, let’s go!

Dude Eowyn chill out lol

Eowyn: “I’m bummed because I tried to commit sudoku and it didn’t work.” Faramir: “Please don’t do that. You’re too pretty to die. But hey, if it makes you feel any better, we all might die anyway, so you might as well rest up if you wanna be able to fight.” Eowyn: “But they want me to stay in bed. And my window doesn’t look eastward :’-C” Faramir: “Oh! I can fix that! :-D”

AND NOW MERRY AND FARAMIR GET TO CHAT!! DUDE!!

First Bergil, and now Faramir!! This just in: All of Pippin’s friends eventually become Merry’s friends. When am I gonna get my scene with Beregond and Merry, huh??

(I probably won’t but a girl can dream)

Tbh I think the Warden ships Farawyn

Faramir: “I’mma give you my dead mom’s cloak ‘cause it’s beautiful and sad like you”

Faramir: “Man, it’s been great hanging out with you. I really hope the world doesn’t end now, ‘cause I don’t want to lose this.” Eowyn, a genius: “This what?”

This whole scene plays out like a cheesy Bollywood movie. It’s so over-the-top. I love it X’-D

And then everybody MAGICALLY STARTS SINGING AT ONCE

“And his duty was to prepare for one who would replace him” 👀 John the Baptist is that you??

And here we see the healing power of love *throws confetti*

YOOOOOOO WE GET MORE GONDORIAN MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS WAIT

Okay so we have trumpets, bells, harps, viols, flutes, and horns listed so far. I’m gonna want to answer that ask more thoroughly at some point won’t I?? ‘Cause I have didn’t have this information before but NOW I DO

Heyyy there’s somebody named Hurin! Hopefully his life has been better than the original one

(I can’t imagine naming your kid after someone who’s best known for having a son with the Worst Life Ever. Like, okay, sassing Morgoth to his face is pretty cool, but is it worth it?? Is it really?? Like the only thing worse would actually be naming your kid Turin. … They’ve done that too, haven’t they?)

ELFHELM!!!

ELFHELM SURVIVED!!

ELFHELM OF DAD JOKES I LOVE YOU

Hahaha hi Ioreth

“They are dear friends, I hear.” HECK YES THEY ARE

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW RIGHT YOU ARE IORETH

Listen one of my favorite tropes is when people in-universe acknowledge the bromance as An Official ThingTM, so this is PEAK. THANK YOU TOLKIEN

Faramir: “I give you my stick.” Aragorn: “No u”

Goodness GRACIOUS that is a whole paragraph of titles for Aragorn. What the heck. Who is it in my notes that always tags Aragorn as “local man has too many names, local authorities report” because you are RIGHT

“Now according to tradition, he should take the crown from his father, but given that his father didn’t have the crown and is also very much dead—”

Faramir: “I give you the crown” Aragorn: “NO U”

And now Frodo does the task of a ring-bearer in an actual wedding, which is to carry the shiny thing to somebody so they can give it to somebody else

“HEY! LET’S HEAR IT FOR CAPTAIN AMERICA!”

Woohoo King Aragorn!

WAIT

HOLD UP

‘ITS GATES WERE WROUGHT OF MITHRIL AND STEEL’??

YOOOOOO!! That’s a 100% METAL DOOR!! In a MEDIEVAL SETTING!! Even WE don’t have huge metal doors for most things, and we’re in the modern age!

First of all, imagine how shiny! Secondly, IMAGINE HOW FREAKIN’ SCI-FI—

BEREGOOOOOOOOND

HELLO MY BOO I’VE MISSED YOU

“And the king said to Beregond: ‘Beregond…’”

Pffft

I must be slaphappy, ‘cause for some reason I find his name being written twice in a row to be very funny

Aragorn: “Okay so you’re not in trouble, but you’re also not allowed to be a Guard of the Citadel anymore.” Beregond: “😨☹️😭” Aragorn: “…Because you’re gonna work FOR FARAMIR! GET PROMOTED ON, IDIOT!!” Beregond: “😧 … 🤩🥳🎉🎊🎈”

Aww haha Aragorn and Eomer hug X-D

Eowyn, to Faramir: “I’ll be back later, I promise.” Eomer, probably: “👀😨😡”

Aragorn: “Pls stick around, friends, I love you guys”

Frodo: “Pippin, you were wrong, Gandalf is keeping secrets again.” Gandalf: “excuse”

Aragorn, excitedly: “LE GASP!! A TREE!!”

Okay so lemme get this straight: Aragorn wasn’t allowed to marry Arwen until he found a tree??

Right. Okay. 🤣🤣🤣

I’m sure this is very symbolically important and whatever but it’s almost 3 AM and I just think it’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all night

GLORFINDELLLLLL

GLORFINDEL HI!!

I’VE MISSED YOU FRIEND!!! 8-D

I guess all these other elves are here too but I don’t really care ROFLOL

This chapter really is the epitome of Tolkien going “oh shoot I guess I’d better include some romance in here huh”

[fictionadventurer]

Thoughts about the first two chapters of The Return of the King:

A rougher beginning than the last book, with lots of description that my visuals-challenged brain can't follow. It was tough going for the first several pages.

Then we get Denethor on the page. I was worried that my image of him was going to be too influenced by the movie version and become something too old and decrepit and creepy. Turns out that Tolkien's descriptions did most of the work for me. The palace is described with words like "dark" and "stone" and nothing that lets me get a little light in there to brighten up the mood, so the guy sitting there is also going to get dark, creepy vibes.

But he's also described as "proud" and man, does it show. It was tons of fun to watch Pippin endure his questioning while being like, "I have no idea what's going on, so I'll just keep talking." And then Gandalf praising him afterward and sympathizing by saying, "I hope you don't have to get between two such proud old men again," was a nice tension-breaker.

Pippin's POV is fun because he's the complete innocent. He apparently hasn't been paying attention to much, so he knows almost nothing about what's going on. He doesn't know how to act in Gondor, yet he's got a natural turn for courteous language, so it kind of makes sense that he's mistaken for a prince (even before we know about the pronoun-confusion mentioned in the appendix).

That guard's kid might be the first kid with a speaking role we've seen in the entire trilogy. It's fun to see that kids do exist, and heartwarming to see his father's pride and concern for him. In a city where all the men are preparing for war, it makes sense that Pippin needs a kid as a guide, because it explains why he can spend time watching all the troops come into town. But it feels just random enough to make me wonder how old Tolkien's kids were at the time he was making up this part of the story, and if this might be a teeny bit of kid wish-fulfillment.

It's fun that both Pippin and Merry's first instinct upon meeting a foreign ruler is to swear fealty to him.

It's also sweet to see Pippin and Merry both feeling out of their depth and missing each other. Especially in Merry's case, because he's the more experienced one, but he still feels out of his depth without his friend there.

Love that the Dunedan (and Elrond's kids) show up. Nice to see Aragorn get a nice surprise for once, and his delight here does a lot to humanize him, and remind us of his past.

The scene where Eowyn begs Aragorn to let her come with him was the most cinematic so far.

Now it's Aragorn's turn to have all the Christ parallels. He spends an agonized night alone before making the decision to go to the lands of the dead. There's a meal that's their last before going on their journey. He's got a female follower willing to follow him to his death.

I really struggled with the Paths of the Dead on first read. It feels so random and is so very creepy that I had trouble reconciling it with the rest of the story. Now all the Christ parallels made me realize this is the Harrowing of Hell, and I'm much more okay with it.

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

The Road Less Traveled (Fellowship x Pregnant!Reader)

Synopsis: Left by a man who took you out of wedlock, you discover halfway through the Fellowship’s journey that you are, indeed, pregnant. Not wishing for you to face motherhood alone, the Fellowship conspires, regarding whom gets to marry you and help raise your child, leaving you with a tough choice.

This was not at all how you saw your life going—both the man leaving you for another woman, and finding out you were pregnant with his baby on a perilous quest, miles upon miles away from the nearest dwelling.

You had been madly in love with this man, unaware he had eyes for another. Your copulating love was taken out of wedlock, a choice you knew had its risks, but Brander had a charming way about him.

You never would have thought he’d leave you. However, one morning, Brander announced the conclusion of your relationship with another woman on his arm.

Heartbroken and enraged, you threw all his clothes from your shack, and took to a horse. Riding swiftly, you headed to the one place you knew hearts were healed; Rivendell.

Upon your arrival, a council of sorts was taking place. One thing led to another, as per usual in your life, and you found yourself on another journey—this time with a higher purpose, and nine other guys.

Things were difficult, but honestly relieving. The fresh air cleansed your soul, as did the healthy relationships you built up with the nine males—proving to you that they weren’t all bad, right on time before you could curse the entire species of XY chromosomes out forever.

However, this was as far as the fun went.

It started with a tiredness the Fellowship brushed off due to your inexperience, and then the lateness of your period. Next, early dawns were spent throwing up in the woods, with whomever was on night-watch holding your hair back, usually Aragorn, Legolas or Boromir.  

You wept slightly when a sparring match with Boromir resulted in a shield hitting your breasts, for they were very tender as of late. The final nail in the coffin was the snubbing of Sam’s usually delicious bacon making you hurl.

Gandalf had taken to speaking with you privately, and asked, in the politest manner possible, if he could assess your womb to find confirmation of another soul.

Legolas approached slowly, crouched down by your side, and spoke responsively in the most apologetic of voices.

“There is no need—I can hear their heartbeat…I am so sorry, Y/n.”

You broke down into tears quickly, and everyone soon knew your predicament that evening. You apologized over and over, and felt utterly mortified. How embarrassing.

They now knew the choice you had made out of wedlock, and were pregnant as a result—something highly frowned upon in human society, and many others in Middle-earth, for that matter. You would no doubt be branded as a “whore” upon your return to society.

You told them all about Brander that night, and opened up to them fully. Jaws were clenched, nervous glances were flashed, and brows were furrowed.

They now had an expectant, first-time mother in their midst, on their way to quite possibly the worst place in the world to take a pregnant woman. Adding onto this, their poor friend, whom they had grown quite close with, was in a horrible situation.

But perhaps it was one they could help with?

Driven by noble blood and true chivalry, the Fellowship started to discuss their options.  

“It’s just awful, what that ‘Brander’ fellow has done to her,” said Boromir, discreetly nodding over in your direction.

You were sat with your head in one hand on a log by the fire, face contorted in misery. Your cheeks and eyes, as well as your nose, were all pink, due to a long while of crying.

Sam sat on one side of you, and held your hand. He reassured you with bright words of soothing promises.

“Don’t worry, Miss Y/n! All will work out! You’ll see! You’re bringing a new soul into this world! That’s nothing to be ashamed of!” Sam would say.

Merry, Frodo and Pippin were on your other side, rubbing your back and holding your shoulder.

“He’s right!” they’d agree, nodding profusely. “You’ll see! This is a wonderful thing. You just can’t quite picture it yet, but you will!”

Gimli, Boromir, Aragorn and Legolas were all huddled in close, standing in a circle. They stood a little further off from the fire, but still caught its glow.

Gandalf was sat on a log himself, puffing away on a pipe. The affairs of human society were not his responsibility, but he offered guidance from a distance nonetheless. He already knew all would work out, but was the only one there oldest and wisest enough to realize so.

Legolas’ arms were folded over his chest, as were the three others’ he stood with. “She’ll be shamed wherever she goes, and her child will be considered a bastard. Truly awful…I feel compelled to help. What can we do?”

“Well, to avoid public slander,” Aragorn spoke up knowingly, “she’d have to be married.”

“Very well and all,” Gimli whispered back, “but were you perhaps not present when she said the scoundrel ran off with another filly?”

“He was not whom I was referencing,” Aragorn mentioned. He threw a studious glance in your direction, and spoke again. “She is a fine young lady, with a strong heart and homely nature. She would make a wonderful wife, and I feel it our duty as her friends to make sure she becomes so.”

“You mean for us to marry her?” Legolas asked, incredulously. His head lowered in shock as he spoke, and a brow arched.

The guys, save for Aragorn, who overlooked it all, glanced between each other tensely, unsure if the alarmed glint in their eyes was competition or fear.

Boromir was the first to speak up.

“I will do it, in a heartbeat!” he said. “You are right, Aragorn—she is a wonderful young lady, and deserves to be wed in time for her child. I will care for them both.”

“Well, now hold on a moment,” Legolas snapped, glaring across at Boromir. “Why do you get to marry her? I am much closer in age to her than you are…figuratively speaking, at least. I should be the one to marry her—we get along best.”

“You?” Gimli snorted. “You will outlive her in the blink of an eye.”

“Oh, and you won’t?” Legolas said back. “None of us implied romance anyways, Gimli. I’d merely be a lifelong friend and guardian for her and her child. I’m the most suited out of everyone here to provide for her—”

“Because you’re a prince?” Boromir interjected, narrowing his eyes.

“Not just because of that,” Legolas bit back, squaring up with Boromir slightly. “But what of it regardless? What does it matter how I provide for her? I plan on renouncing my title and making a life of my own anyways. I might not get the chance for a child of my own, and I can help Y/n raise hers.”

“She’s not some puppy, laddie,” Gimli snorted back. “You both want to store her away in a little cottage or unit somewhere drab. I can provide her with culture! Dwarven culture! Her little one deserves to grow up in grand halls and eat ripened meat!”

Aragorn looked between the unfolding drama, and soon raised a hand before you could become even more distressed. Fortunately, you hadn’t heard a thing of their hushed conversation.

“That is enough,” Aragorn said. “I’d offer to marry her myself, but…well, I do believe you three are better suited than me to provide a stable life for her. It is ultimately up to Y/n. All either three of you can do is offer your hand in marriage to her, and see what she says.”

Glares were thrown between the three potential suitors, as each wondered who’d be the first to turn around and run towards you.

As it turns out, all three turned on their heels at the same. They nearly tripped over one another. However, they stopped almost immediately, for someone on the other side already had the same idea.

“It is quite all right, Y/n,” Frodo said, down on one knee before you, and holding your hand. “The Shire will accept you, and I can just say I fell in love on the road and married you immediately. I have a big house now left all to myself, with many rooms. You can have one to yourself, as can your child. Bilbo did the same for me when I was young.”

You were crying again, but this time out of happiness. Your other hand was placed over your chest, as you smiled down at the kind hobbit with a wavering lower lip.

“Oh, Frodo, that is so incredibly kind, I can only say—”

“DON’T SAY ANYTHING!” Legolas shouted, rushing forwards. He nearly shoved Frodo out of the way, and took his place holding your hand swiftly.

“Y/n,” he began, sincerely, “I’ve always felt that you and I have had a…special bond since beginning this journey together. I can provide you with a cottage in the forest, and true protection. I’m an archer and an elf—your child will learn many life skills with me as their parental guardian. And, furthering this, after you’ve moved on from our world, your child will surely be left behind. I can ensure they are well-cared for up until their own departure!”

“Oh, Legolas, I don’t know what to...” you went to say, holding his hand with both of yours. You were truly starting to get overwhelmed with happiness and relief.

“Oh, shove it, pixie!” Gimli shouted from behind Legolas. He, too, stole the snarling elf’s place, chivalrously removing his helmet as he did so. “Lass, I know I may not be your usual type, or blonde, but I am asking for your hand as well. I can offer you so much in Dwarven society. The women are strong, and you will find ranks in them! Your child will be given an equal chance, no matter the gender, to be themselves! Life in the halls is a true marvel—”

“Enough, the both of you!” Boromir shouted next. He tugged Gimli by the beard and threw him away. “Y/n, you and I are both humans. I understand you and our shared culture better than anyone else here! Please, nothing would make me happier than to provide for you as my wife. Not to mention, the child will look most like me, racially-wise.”

The hobbits all looked between each other with shocked smiles, intrigued by the situation, and Gandalf and Aragon merely shook their heads.

Legolas grabbed hold of Boromir’s shoulder and stood him up. “Race has nothing to do with it! If we’re really going to narrow this down to looks, I am the tallest! That is highly desirable in a husband! Y/n and her child will live a wonderfully secure and safe life with me. You need to back off.”

“Why don’t you make me?” Boromir bit back.

Before a fight could break out between the two of them, Gimli hopped into the middle and added his own string of harsh words.

The three suitors of differing races soon began to bicker between themselves, leaving you sat on the log very stunned indeed.

However, after a long while of listening to them argue over who gets to marry you, you put up your hand and silenced them. Although, it took a good few shouts until they shut up completely and curiously blinked down at you.

“Boys. Boys! BOYS!” Once the attention was on you, you spoke again. “I am so incredibly flattered by your equal devotion, it has truly made me feel better about everything, but...do I not get a say in whom I marry out of everyone here?”

Legolas moved his body slightly, so he stood facing you straight. “Well, whom do you choose, my lady?”

Frodo had backed off entirely, but shared a lipped smile with you, ultimately letting you know the offer was still on the table regardless. Boromir, Gimli and Legolas all stared at you optimistically, leaning forwards as they waited for your reply.

Stumped by so many choices, and considering you didn’t even know this would be a part of your life plan up until five hours ago, you went with the smartest choice; waiting.

“These are all very early days…” you began. “I’m very overwhelmed by all the offers, and still getting used to the idea of motherhood, and now marriage—”

You took a calming breath.

“You’re all so sweet, and I truly appreciate your support, but…could I perhaps sit on it for a while, and return with an answer at a later time? This is a very big decision, as you can all imagine.”

They quickly agreed, and nodded their heads vehemently.

“Take all the time you need!” they said reassuringly, in one form or another.

That night, they all waved sweet “goodnights” over their shoulders to you, and even gave up their cloaks and packs to create what they deemed the perfect “mother’s nest” for you to sleep on.

It was all very sweet, and warmed your heart. However, although half the problem was solved, you were presented with another; who on earth were you going to choose to marry and raise your unborn child with?

Actually, the more you thought about it that night, as you fell asleep with nine friends protecting you as you slept in the middle, like a herd of animals keeping their mother-to-be safe, the more you realized you already knew exactly whom you wanted to live with.

[bonjour-rainycity]

Late in the Night | Part One

Prompt: Unrequited love/the love is requited, they’re just oblivious (Content Challenge Day 5)

Pairing: One-sided ( or is it ;) ) Female Reader x Legolas

Rating: G

Word count: 1847

Warnings: None

Challenge participants: @game-ofthe-company @grunid @themerriweathermage @errruvande @the-reformed-ringwraith @awkwardkindatries

A/n Hello hello, and happy Day 5 of my content challenge! As always, you can find the challenge’s masterlist here and my personal masterlist here. 

I’m making these last three days into a mini-series, so here’s part one! Also, for this story, I’m going with the “girl wakes up in Middle Earth” plot, but LOTR doesn’t exist in her world. So she doesn’t know anything about the characters or their journey. She just kind of fell through a portal between worlds. Y’know?

Translations (I think): Taur-e-Ndaedelos — Mirkwood // Eryn Galen — Greenwood

Reader’s POV

“And Miss Y/n, what will you do once this is all over? Will you go back home?” Pippin stops to let me catch up, bringing me into step with him and Merry.

I purse my lips, not wanting to give too much away. The others know that I have a bit of an, erm—strange— situation, but they don’t know that I haven’t got a home in Arda. We’ve had at least ten variants of this conversation already, and each time, I’ve managed to avoid participating. It seems my hobbit friend, though, is done letting that slide.

I shrug, trying to seem nonchalant. “I haven’t really thought about that much…” Just in case there’s no ‘once this is all over’. “But I guess I would find a human town somewhere and build a life. I’ve learned quite a lot on this journey, so maybe I could make a living as a guard or even a seamstress, seeing how often I mend your clothes,” at this, I throw a teasing look at Gimli, who blushes. Out of all of us, he’s the most prone to non-battle related injury, and I often find him trudging back to camp with a rip in his sleeve after simple tasks like collecting firewood or refilling his canteen.

Pippin ignores my joke, and now I realize that I have the concern-laden eyes of all four hobbits. “You…would not go back home? You wouldn’t see your family?”

I sigh, avoiding Gandalf’s gaze. He said I was free to tell my companions that I am not of this world, but I haven’t yet worked up the nerve. The stress of figuring out how I got here, why I’m here…it’s too much to burden them with on this perilous quest. I stifle a little laugh, my exhausted mind finding humor in the situation. Maybe that’s what I’ll do ‘once all this is over’. I’ll tell them that I’m practically an alien.  

Lost in my thoughts as I was, my silence drew the attention of Gimli and Boromir, and now I have six sets of concerned eyes regarding me. Great. I try to speed the conversation along so we can get to someone else. “Well, I haven’t seen my family in quite a long time…I think they think I’m dead, actually, and for all I know, they could be too…” This thought troubles me greatly, and I hurry to replace it with something else, forcing my voice to sound cheery and hopeful.“But that only means that I’m free to go anywhere—explore any place I like.”

Pippin looks quite heartbroken at my words, and I scramble to think of ways to fix it. But before I can, he grips my hand tightly in his, and I feel Merry mirror his actions on my other side. They look up at me triumphantly, smiling brightly. “You can come live with us, in The Shire,” Pippin declares, to which Sam nods earnestly. Frodo, as always of late, seems distracted, but offers me a distant smile.

A laugh of shocked joy escapes my lips, and I look between my valiant hobbit friends with possibly even more affection than before. “Do they even allow that? Big Folks moving into The Shire?”

“Sure they do,” Merry brushes away my concerns, appearing quite assured of himself.

But Pippin only shrugs, seemingly having not a care in the world. “And if they don’t, we’ll just sneak you in.”

“Gondor would be happy to host you as well,” Boromir adds, surprising me a little. We haven’t talked much on this journey, so it’s nice to know that he sees me as enough of a friend to invite me to his home.

Feeling much better, I squeeze Merry and Pippin’s hands. “Thanks, you guys. Really.”

{***}

We stop when it gets too dark for most of us to see.

“We are too far from Rivendell’s borders for me to feel comfortable.” Aragorn shakes his head slowly as he considers our surroundings and the potential risk we face. “I would ask that we keep a double watch tonight, and for many nights to come. Y/n, Legolas?”

Legolas—the only one of us who seems to have an endless supply of energy—jogs to a tall rock a couple hundred meters from camp, and begins to climb. I’m a bit slower to follow.

In the past three weeks, Aragorn has put me on watch eight times, the most only after himself and Legolas, and definitely more than our other companions. Sam shoots me an apologetic look and quietly promises to bring us dinner as soon as it’s ready.

I grab my cloak and follow Legolas’ path, trying to keep my annoyance to a minimum. After all, it’s not the worst thing in the world…staying up most of the night with Legolas, just the two of us.

He hears me coming and turns around with a welcoming smile, lowering a hand to help pull me onto the boulder. His hand is so warm in mine, so solid, and I find myself wishing he wouldn’t let go.

But of course he does, taking his hand from mine the moment I’m settled next to him. I tuck my hands into my cloak, trying not to lament the loss. Regardless of my quickly-growing feelings towards my elven friend, he has never given me an indication that he sees me as anything more than that, a friend, and I need to respect that.

He fixes me with a raised eyebrow, somehow both looking at me and the landscape over my shoulder. “Are you alright with staying awake tonight? It has been a while since you slept fully.”

I freeze, caught in a sudden burst of happiness. He noticed that? Has he been paying attention to me?

Legolas continues, and the fledgling hope that perhaps my affections for him aren’t as one-sided as I thought comes crashing down. “I could speak to Aragorn. It is no issue for me to stand watch alone.”

I briefly close my eyes, berating myself for my stupidity. He’s not commenting on your well-being, he just doesn’t want to have to be alone with you for the next five hours. He must somehow know of your feelings and wants to discourage them — because really, why would an elf want to be with a human?

I purse my lips, desperately not wanting him to know I’m upset. “No, it’s okay, thank you though. I’ll do my part.” My words come out a bit more cooly than I intended, but that’s just as well. Best to seem unattached.

He nods, giving me a funny look, then turns to look back out on the vast expanse of trees.

Nearly an hour passes in silence, then Sam visits, bringing dinner with him. Aragorn had managed to find two rabbits, so we eat well tonight. I savor it, knowing we might not be so lucky tomorrow, or the day after next. As usual, Legolas chooses to eat standing, not willing to sacrifice his careful watch over our surroundings. Knowing he’s got it covered, I sit down on the rock with Sam, having a make-shift picnic. Still, I keep my daggers close and periodically take note of the sounds of the forest, just in case. Sam entertains us with stories from his childhood and of life in The Shire. At a tale of how he and Frodo found themselves running from a furious farmer in the middle of the night, even Legolas cracks a smile.

But eventually, the food is gone and Sam is stifling yawns, so he bids us goodnight, leaving me alone with Legolas once again.

I stand, brushing the dust off my leggings, and take my place next to him.

His eyes never leave the horizon, but I hear his voice, soft, quiet, and almost hesitant-sounding. “Is it true that you haven’t a home to return to?”

I’m a bit caught off guard. During that conversation earlier in the day, Legolas was all the way at the front the group, leading with Aragorn. I didn’t know he’d heard that. “Uh, yeah.” I nod, trying to project a confidence I don’t really feel. “It is.”

He goes silent, and stays silent for such a long time that I think that’s all the conversation we’ll have. But then, he speaks again, his voice steady and deliberate. “My home, Taur-e-Ndaedelos, is not safe right now.”

“Oh.” I blink. Is he opening up to me? I try to respond delicately, not wanting to accidentally discourage him from sharing his feelings in the future. “I am sorry. That must be very difficult.”

He waves off my apology, meeting my eyes for the quickest of moments and then turning once more to the landscape before us. “My people get by. I only meant that, perhaps…well, if we succeed, and the Great Evil is defeated, Taur-e-Ndaedelos will be safe, and might even be called Eryn Galen once more.” He shifts from one foot to the other, something I’ve never seen him do. “You would be welcome there.”

A smile—the widest one I’ve managed in a while—spreads over my face, and try as I might, I am unable to reel it in. Because even after all this is over, when the time would come naturally for us to part ways, he wants me still in his life. I’ve always figured that it would hurt me to be parted from him, but I never dreamed that he would feel the same way.

Legolas seems to grow agitated by my silence, and turns to look at me with a measure of stress in his brow. But once he sees my reaction to his words, the lines in his face soften into a grin of his own. “Gimli is similarly without a permanent dwelling. I have extended an invitation to him as well.”

Oh.

Of course.

I fight the urge to roll my eyes at myself, feeling incredibly stupid. Of course I would read into his words. He didn’t mean anything significant by them, he was just offering me a place to stay, like he obviously would to any of his friends. Because he is a kind, good, and noble ellon.

Of course he doesn’t feel the same way as I do.

I was silly to hope.

I try to keep the smile plastered to my face and not let him see my crushing disappointment. That would be horribly embarrassing, and I’m not sure I could take the pity that would surely be on his compassionate face if he had to verbally express his disinterest.

“That—” my voice sounds annoyingly weak, and I clear my throat to correct it. “That’s really kind of you, Legolas. Thank you.”

There’s a question in his eyes, but he doesn’t ask it, only nods once and returns to his watch of the forest.

For my part, I try to turn all of my focus to the task at hand, reminding myself that, even if he never loves me back, I am truly lucky to have such a wonderful friend.

A/n See you all tomorrow with part two! Likes, comments, and reblogs make my day! Also, let me know if you would like a tag.

Masterlist

Next part

[lesbiansforboromir]

(I didn’t finish my sentence lmfaoo. I meant I don’t hate the movies portrayal of D B and F’s relationship but I might’ve preferred it in the books ahaha sry my bad lol) yeah that’s kind of an issue with create movies of book, ppl just assume it’s the same cause it’s an adaptation. The books are a Lot too, so ppl might not even wanna bother cause they’re not easy to read vs watching an Adaption of them, so they’ll never know the og characters.

I only rewatch lotr recently after years of growing up with it and tbh I completely forgot that Gondor was a Thing, it rly is just kinda forgettable in the movies.

This is rly making me want to tackle the books lol. The differences are gonna be something to adjust to.

Apart from the Gondor dudes who would you say gets the biggest change? Or worse in your opinion

Oh no I do hate the dynamic of the steward family in the films jdahkjasd Honestly I think this portrayal of abusive parents being just ugly and easily identifiable as villains is somewhat regressive but No worries no worries.

ANd yeah... Gondor really is so forgettable in the films I-

BUT YEAH UM... I guess I can’t say everyone can I um, lets start talking and see how many we get through.

Merry and Pippin got an absolutely tragic reduction in the films. In the books they’re frodo’s friends long before the film, Merry is Frodo’s best friend, he loves Frodo so much he helps him move house and deals with his obnoxious family. Merry actually organises the whole trip, he figures out Frodo intends to leave on his own and secretly organises to go with him JUST because he’s his best friend. He’s like yo, you’ve got something scary you’ve got to do Frodo? Don’t know why you thought we’d let you do it on your own. Merry saves the whole quest by doing this! Frodo would have died before he even got out of the Shire if not for Merry. 

Gimli’s portrayal, also a tragedy. Peter Jackson saw dwarf and immediately decided ‘comic relief’, despite the fact that Gimli is more polite than Aragorn or Legolas, is a poet and has one of the longest monologues about art and culture in the whole book. It guts me thinking about it. 

Eowyn has a severe reduction in her feelings and character, her monologue is sanitised away from a much more bitter and angry condemnation of her people’s culture around women. We got a more patronising image of her relationship with Merry too. 

FRODO, oh god Frodo I’m so sorry, Frodo was clever and masterful and adult and!! He was funny! And sarcastic, he was philosophical and cunning. Films tell you that Merry and Pippin were like thieves, NO Merry and Pippin were very upstanding young gentlemen and Farmer Maggot thought very highly of them both. FRODO is the criminal in this group who stole his mushrooms! Frodo asked questions and made plans and tried to figure things out by himself, he wasn’t this strange melancholic ring box to be ushered places. Frodo saved the world by TAKING the ring’s power on mount doom after planning how to do that and cursing gollum to essentially drop the ring into the mountain of fire LIKE. Frodo had agency! SAM TOO fsfdgsdfgs I skip frodo and sam’s scenes in the films but i love them in the books. 

Aragorn and Gandalf are vastly different characters in the films in that they’re likable. And this is... better for Aragorn I think. Although I miss him being a little more snarky and self important and sharp, but it’s better than Aragorn’s likable which he thoroughly isn’t in the books in my opinion. I MEAN... he’s- he’s very complex in the books and there are likable moments amongst him snapping at people and talking about himself. But for Gandalf I think it was a thorough detriment. Which hurts, love Ian Mckellen, that’s my grandad, but Gandalf was like genuinely manipulative in the books and literally could not stand being wrong despite being wrong quite a lot. Constantly Gandalf will angrily and rudely snap at people who rightly critisise his choices (Boromir for one) and this is good because you don’t want an infallible morally irreproachable dad for this whole adventure. It’s much more interesting this way. 

Eomer, miss him being a little more young and fiery and a little out of his depth but proud and confident even so. Like I know Karl Urban was exactly 27 in the films but he felt very world weary and kind of ‘I’ve had it’ when he’d only just become Third Marshall like barely a year ago. AND OF COURSE, this is compounded by the way Theodred’s death is portrayed like... askjdas like oops! Our 18 year old prince just died in this lil stream in this small lil battle huh weird- NO!! Theodred was 41!! And had died in a MASSIVE battle against Isengard! He was assassinated in fact, the whole point of the battle was to assassinate Theodred because he’d been so influential to maintaining Rohan’s stability despite all Grima and Saruman’s efforts. Eomer was a man who’d just lost a mentor, an adopted elder brother! Anyway...

Um... honourable mention for Hama... our dear doorward... miss you being relevant and telling Aragorn to fuck off babe. Farmer Maggot, miss you being relevant and like the literal best. Haldir, miss you NOT being relevant dwarfist bastard but I love to watch you die. Galadriel and Celeborn, not enough she pegs him energy, not enough of her being scary and unknowable, not enough of her laughing. Bilbo! I’m sorry they didn’t let you go back to the Lonely Mountain that’s miserable my guy.... Gollum’s alright... I think that’s everyone who exists in the films and books both. 

So this still ended up as everyone :)

[tozettastone]

Where are they now: "The Other Things We Never Knew About Frodo's Soulmate", say ... 50 years later?

For the 'where are they now?' ask meme

Okay. That's this fic, which was written for a specific challenge and I admit ends without concluding. It's a Frodo/Sauron soul mate au that could have gone on forever, basically. This is your opportunity to go read it if you haven't, because I'm spoiling it completely below. :)

The journey itself ends with Frodo meeting Sauron in the light of day, instead of in his dreamscape, for the first time. It's a very dramatic meeting: Sauron is degraded from what he once was, accursed. Looking at him is like staring into the sun—and not in a dazzling blaze of glory way, more in a 'deadly presence that will blind you' way. His skin is burnt black as night, and cracked through with lines of radiant fire that never cease to burn, and in his ruined face his eyes are pale, lucid and terrible.

He is... big. Very big. 'Little wonder he's a nightmarish battle presence,' is probably what you'd think, if you were Merry or Pippin, and you did not already know he was very much a fallen angel.

Frodo is by contrast a mundane creature: a short, plump hobbit in a worn waistcoat, still dusty from the road (although the road has, it must be said, gone easier than it did in canon!) and he drops the ring into the palm of the Dark Lord Sauron's terrible outstretched hand and says, "I'm fairly certain this belongs to you."

(Regrettably, Aragorn is left with his small army hammering at the Black Gates before the valley of Udun, and instead of greeting the full might of Sauron's army there (and either dying horribly or surviving by the grace of Frodo managing to destroy the Ring) he's met by 3.6 orcs with a stick, all of whom are cranky about missing the victory party.)

So, 49 years on from this. (This was not a short journey.)

The ensuing war is a crucible for the whole of Middle Earth, but Sauron at his full capacity, with Saruman at his side (do you think Saruman would become a balrog, eventually, or has that ship sailed?), is an overwhelming force. Half the elves have already gone, and men have short memories and an endless stream of wants and needs.

So after the first thirty years, a war that the elves would have fought til the last bitter veteran is lost, because... well, men age. They die out. Your rage at a guy who killed your great grandfather isn't quite the same as your rage at a guy who killed your brother. It's just how it is.

The world where Sauron wins is... an unlovely one. It's a world where the natural world loses, for sure. Fanghorn is a shadow of its former self, the great trees cut down to fuel the ever-hungry fires of industry. The Ents are gone, dead, silent, or fled. More than one balrog works in Moria now, corrupted maiar overseeing orcs and men and dwarves all commingled, working in long hard shifts. (Gandalf has to go for sure. There's really only room for maiar who do what they're told in Middle Earth now. He can go back to Manwe and Nienna or be locked away somewhere lightless. His call.)

There's a lot of suffering.

There are wonders wrought by Sauron, too, though—although the free people of Middle Earth would weep to hear you say it. He learnt his craft at the knee of Aule. He still has a tendency to strive for order and consistency over death and chaos. His engineering work is precise and beautiful and brutally functional. His magic is terrible and brilliant. The logistics of Mordor are a marvel that make even the dwarves grind their teeth.

And there are patches of the world that are still green. Hobbits and men and dwarves still need to eat, after all: much of Eriador remains farmland, largely untouched by conflict, although there's plenty of problems with the increased demand on their production. But that, too, is resolved by industry and logistics (isn't it? well. no. not always. but 19 years after a war like this one, the population isn't what it was, either).

I suppose I should talk about Frodo. Frodo's fea persists through simple fact of them being soulmates, which puts the hroa in an awkward position. By 50 years after his adventure, this is extremely evident—he's a hundred now, and hobbits should be coming to the ends of their lives at a hundred or so, perhaps a little older. Frodo is not. But his body is failing in several ways, and twisting to accommodate his spirit in others. Sauron is... not pleased.

Quite from the inconvenience, hobbits are an earthy, fleshly bunch, and they like things that feel nice: hot water, spring grass, sunshine, blankets, good food, sex. You know. The important things.

I think they'll probably solve it eventually though. And then everything will persist in this state... until and unless Sauron figures out at last how to pass the door of night, where Morgoth was banished after his last defeat. I'm not sure if he'd open it if he could. But then... I'm not sure he could resist the temptation.

[specialagentlokitty]

Who I write for//requests

I’m looking for requests if you aren’t sure of rules or such feel free to ask!!

MARVEL

* Tony

* Steve

* Wanda

* Bucky

* Thor

* Bruce

* Nat

* Clint

* Phil

* Loki

* Peter

* MJ

* Logan

TWILIGHT

* Carlisle

* Rosalie

* Alice

* Jasper

* Paul

* Billy

* Garrett

NCIS/NOLA

* Gibbs

* Tony

* Ziva

* Abby

* Ducky

* Bishop

* Sloane

* Nick

CRIMINAL MINDS

* Hotch

* Derek

* Rossi

* Spencer

* JJ

* Emily

* Garcia

CASTLE

* Castle

* Kate

THE MENTALIST

* Patrick

* Grace

* Lisbon

* Rigsby

SUPERNATURAL

* Dean

* Sam

* Chuck

* Crowley

* Gabriel

* Balthazar

* Charlie

* Castiel

* Lucifer

LUCIFER(FOX)

* Lucifer

* Dan

* Maze

THE HOBBIT/LOTR

* Thorin

* Bilbo

* Legolas

* Fili

* Kili

* Thranduil

* Elrond

* Lindir

* Aragorn

* Boromir

* Faramir

* Pippin

* Merry

* Sam

* Frodo

BBC MERLIN

* Arthur

* Merlin

* Leon

* Gwaine

* Lancelot

* Percival

* Gwen

BBC SHERLOCK

* Sherlock

* John

* Mycroft

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

* Diego

MY HERO ACADEMIA

* Midoriya (Deku)

* Aizawa

* Todoroki

* Present Mic

* Iida

* Kirishima

* Kaminari

* Bakugo

* Toshinori(all might)

BLUE EXORCIST

* Rin

* Yukio

* Bon

* Mephisto

* Amiamon

TOKYO GHOUL

* Kenaki

* Arima

AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER

* Zuko

* Aang

* Sokka

* Iroh

ATTACK ON TITAN

* Levi

* Eren

* Erwin

* Arwin

BLACK BUTLER

* Claude

* William

* Sebastian

* Undertaker

NORIGAMI

* Yato

* Yukine

THE WITCHER

* Geralt

* Jaskier

DOCTOR WHO

* 9th Doctor

* 10th Doctor

* 11th doctor

* 12th Doctor

* River

* Amy

* Rory

* Clara

BROOKLYN NINE NINE

* Jake

* Rosa

THE GOOD DOCTOR

* Jared

* Claire

* Melendez

* Shaun

* Alex Park

TEEN WOLF

* Derek

* Stiles

* Scott

* Issac

* Peter

GREYS ANATOMY

* Derek shepherd

* Cristina Yang

* Mark Sloan

* Owen Hunt

* Jackson Avery

* Alex Karev

* Arizona Robbins

HOUSE MD

* Gregory house

* James Wilson

* Lisa Cuddy

BONES

* Seeley booth

* Lance Sweets

THE ARCANA

*Julian

*Muriel

*Asra

*Lucio

*Nadia

*Portia

Random prompts (you don’t need a prompt to requests just ask!)

1. “Don’t say goodbye...”

2. “Nothing impossible, we’ve all got that dreamers disease.”

3. “You only love yourself, but that doesn’t mean you can treat everyone like crap.”

4. “Lonely? I guess you could say I’m lonely, but sometimes lonely is better.”

5. “Look, I’m not having this debate with you right now.”

6. “We’ve all got blood on our hands, be it our own or someone else’s.”

7. “I really don’t care what you have to say, it won’t make me come back. I know full well your words are as empty as your heart.” “What if I can prove they’re not?”

8. “Don’t fuck with me, otherwise someone’s going to get hurt.”

9. “Bad? I prefer morally incorrect.”

10. “Stop living in your head! This is the real world! This is what a real bad guy is!”

11. “You’re not listening to a word I’m saying.” “I just don’t care about what you have to say.”

12. “Bite me.”

13. “Why are you so horrible to me?” “I’m nicer to you than to anyone else.”

14. “I’ve still got something left to prove.”

15. “You’re the only thing that’s been real...”

16. “I’ll always find my way back to you. Always.”

17. “There’s nothing in this I wouldn’t do to protect you, okay?”

18. “If I lose you... I... lose everything... you’re all that’s left...”

19. “I’ve seen my fair share of misery, heartache. I don’t want that.” “Then let me show you happiness, and love.”

20. “Shes/he’s a ticking time bomb, one wrong move and it’s all over.”

21. “Just one date, that’s all I ask.”

22. “We found you guys asleep on the floor.”

23. “I know what I want, and I’m going to take it all. Who’s going to stop me?” “I am.” “Won’t be much of a fight now, would it?”

24. “Stop pointing your gun at me.” “Stop trying to arrest me.”

25. “Everyone wants something, nothing comes for free.”

26. “You’re a monster!” “So? Never seen a monster before~”

27. “I was always here! Always! Never once did you even think about me!”

28. “I can smell your fear, don’t be scared, I won’t hurt you... unless I have to.”

29. “I feel like a monster.”

30. “Nightmares? I am Everyone nightmare.”

31. “I would walk to the end of the universe then back if it meant I could have even one more second by your side.”

32. “You don’t believe in monsters do you?” “Of course not!” “I do~”

33. “What are you hiding from me? What are you so desperately trying to keep hidden. I want to help.”

34. “You’re a fucking ass.” “I know.” “And I love you.” “I know.”

35. “It’s cold, are you okay?”

36. “Put a jacket on idiot.”

37. “She/he lost her/his memory....” “stay with her/him... even if it hurts you...”

38. “This is the end...”

39. “The damage is done... it’s too late...”

40. “I would have done anything...”

41. “I would have loved you all my life...”

42. “Maybe in your next life you’ll be safe... you won’t be in danger...”

43. “Where have you gone?”

44. “Remember when we were kids, and I promised to always keep you safe? I’m sorry I broke it...”

45. “H.. hold.. me...” “of course darling, you’re not alone, I’m here, it’s okay... rest now...”

46. “Wake up! Please!...” he/she sobbed, “just wake up...”

47. “If I could b honest, right here right now, I’m nervous.” “Why?” “Because I... love you.”

48. “It’s always been us against the world, always.”

49. “It’s not my time... I’ve.. still got loads to do...”

50. “Look, I’m sorry I lied. I can’t take it back, but I can make it up to you.”

51. “I wonder if I’ll ever see her/him again.” “It’s been years since you have.” “I’ll wait.”

52. “I’ve got you, I’m not letting go.”

53. “Stop being stubborn and let me help!”

54. “All this time I wanted to hate you, but I never could.”

55. “How do you know he/she’s still alive?” “I can feel it.”

56. “Just give me time! Please!”

57. “I miss the way the sun used to shine on you so perfectly.”

58. “How do I tell him I love him?” “Don’t, he’ll only hurt you. You don’t deserve that.”

59. “We’re all broken in some way.”

60. “Everting seems so dull...”

[greenwaterskeeter]

heads up this is about Frodo and it has suicide talk in it

The Death of the Author, in my understanding, means I don't have to care what the author intended by anything if I don't want to. My version of the story can be what I want it to be. Most of the time I just use this to ignore or alter aspects of a story that I think are obviously Wrong (making all the good guys white, for example). I have a harder time with stuff that isn’t necessarily immoral but seems cruel, like killing off a character who's done nothing but Suffer right before things would have worked out for them. Even more difficult are choices I don't like but can't attribute to capriciousness.

I'm having that problem with Jirt and his choice of what to do with Frodo and Sam at the end there. It may just boil down to 'I Want Characters I Love To Be Happy', but... It's not just that it's not fair that after All That, Frodo can't catch a break. It's not just that Sam settling down with Rosie, as lovely as she must be, isn't story-earned at all. I recognize that Frodo and Sam sticking together for the rest of their lives, while it's the ending I want, isn't necessarily the only artistically-responsible (?) ending.

I know Jirt wanted Sam to have the ending he deserved, and for him that meant the life he would have had if none of All That had happened, plus higher social status. A wish-fulfillment ending. But he also wanted to show that not everyone comes home from awful experiences, and if they do, they're not the same person they were, maybe even to the point that life is unbearable. So Frodo gets the ending he gets. That's coherent, but I don't like it, and not just because it's very sad.

First of all, I don't like this mix of one character having their wishes come true and another (the love of their life basically) having the consequences follow them home. (Not to mention that with the way things go for Frodo, can Sam's wishes really be said to have come true?).

Secondly, I don't like this business of Frodo going off somewhere else, holy or blessed or whatever, because he's Too Broken to Stay. It makes perfect sense for him to reason like that, and he's doing the best he can, but I'm bitter that Jirt gave him this weird Purgatory of an option. This is what I mean: people who feel Too Broken to Go On are thinking about suicide.  Frodo might have been thinking of getting better, but his ability to envision anything good for himself was Not Great at that time, and I'm fairly certain the main thing he was thinking of was sparing the others watching him struggle and not get better and maybe even die as a result. A big part of suicidal thinking (at least for me) is Sparing the Others, and it's powerful, and feels legitimate, but it's bullshit. It’s very important to remember just how much it is bullshit.

That being said, if his ending is tragic, let it be tragic. Let me grieve. If he can't muster up the strength to keep living after All That, don't sweep him behind this curtain where no one has to watch it happen. I don't want him to never be ok again, and I don't want him to die. But “going off somewhere heavenly and perfect to maybe get better” feels really wrong (maybe because he’s so real to me and Valinor is very much not).

I've also been hurt and felt like I'm too broken to keep living. It was the love and support of my friends (and kind acquaintances) that kept me alive long enough to start healing. Even though I withdrew from them, they still held out their hands to me in love. It took a long time, and of course I’ve changed, but I managed to live through it and gradually improve. I’ve recently reached the point where I can feel how much I love someone. I really missed that. At one point I thought it must be gone forever.

Love is essential to healing in real life, is what I’m saying, and the love of friends is the whole damn point of LOTR. After love saved the world, why couldn't Jirt give it a chance to save Frodo? Sam and Merry and Pippin would have tried if he let them. Why wasn't there a second Conspiracy? I’m not saying they definitely could have saved Frodo, and I know in the text they were busy and didn’t completely realize. But Sam "whether or no" Gamgee would not allow himself to be too busy for this! And no way has Frodo ever been subtle enough that Sam at least wouldn't notice something was seriously wrong.

I guess my point is: I have no reason to believe Valinor is All That; Elves are overrated and so is Heaven; Fuck Saruman’s Prophecy; Frodo's best hope of getting better is right there in the Shire.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Hey…

… Hey, wireless?

F YOU.

Okay. Thank god for common sense. I accidentally lost my post bc my wireless conked out.

HOWEVER!

I was wise, and copied the contents. so we have lost nothing but the tags. Which weren’t that interesting any way.

So here we go!

In no order: (also, I apologise for any typos my fingers decided they wanted to type a mile a minute… DX)

Aw, Naohisa (still thinking I’m spelling his name wrong) is giving them science lessons…

That Melto loves and Asuna doesn’t get… XD It’s okay Asuna, I’m not sure I understand, either.

Melto’s so starry-eyed, gods love him. XD

ASUNA.

Aw, Tyramigo. It’s okay, Melto, he doesn’t mean it meanly. ^^

They’re really cute though. XD

I guess Kou got the idea to see the world in his head from watching tv…

But I feel like there are better places to get into the river than jumping over this railing…

THAT LITTLE BLINK BEFORE HE SAYS ‘209’ XD

He’s clearly got no idea why that’s shocking. ^^

UI DON’T JUST ACCEPT THIS! DX

I guess she decided that she couldn’t really tell a 209 year old what to do…

This episode officially made me conclude that Ui and Touwa are the smols. They’re the youngest of the siblings. Kou is next, then Melto and Asuna are like… Twins who are slightly older than him. No one can agree which one of them is older. Banba is obviously the eldest and stuck managing them. Maybe until Gold gets here. Unless he’ll have to manage Gold, too.

Touwa’s fast, but Banba outweighs him… A for effort, though, sweetie. <3

To continue reading foreshadowing in everything… I wonder if Touwa commenting he doesn’t think Banba can lose in one v one means we’re eventually going to see just that happen.

Or, potentially, maybe Banba did once lose to someone in one v one?

Or both?

Touwa, honey, I just want you to know I very much support the concept of you and the others just tackling your brother. Like Merry and Pippin w/ Boromir. Just jump him. He could use the hugs.

Banba gazes majestically off into the distance as he prepares to be angsty.

Banba: ‘People will always betray you.’

Me: ‘Who did this to you? SHOW ME SO I CAN STAB THEM W/ THIS FORK TEN MILLION TIMES???’

I so want whoever hurt him like this to be an absolute dickwad and I want to see them get their asses kicked, esp by some truly pissed off little sibs.

By Banba, too, absolutely. But I would kill for an ep where the kids find out what this person did and go on a roaring rampage of protectiveness for their big brother. TT^TT DX

Touwa definitely doesn’t know what happened… DX I think he knew Banba was distrusting towards others and very much a loner, but he looks so sad and confused that I don’t think he knew it went this deep…

I wanna hug my little green gremlin son, too! DX I WANNA HUG ALL OF THEM!

Eh. I’m sure she’s fine.

Mook suit actors, the unsung heroes of any and all Sentai. XD

Hey, Green final slash! And Black again. ^^

XD Touwa. Banba’s just like ‘irritated growl.’ ^^

I’m… Pretty sure Ui just insulted this guy…?

Okay, here’s the thing. I don’t see nobody glowing green and losing life force. So… Did they just decide not to put that effect in, or… Or did the Minusaur actually come from someone else?

Like… Tall Cheese?

Ahem. Sorry. I mean Fita.

Though she’s not glowing either… Augh. I dunno what I’m saying.

Why would they chain up Ui, but not Kou?

Well done, Kou. ^^ Boy’s clever is a fight. XD

… What the heck was that boise and dramatic shot of her face? Where they just trying to remind us she’s an idol? I think it happened when the brothers find her, too… Does it mean something? Hmm… I dunno.

Kou’s reaction is hilarious, though.

Ui’s neck is gonna hurt later… DX

Okay, but later the brothers wake her up just fine? I guess the effects were only temporary… That’s probably why they chained them up, so that they couldn’t escape even when they woke up.

And… Kou’s sense ends here. Why didn’t you call the others, you dork? XD

Hmm… I miss Tankjoh, but I kinda like the new guy’s music…

I think he’s meant to be a drastically different personality. Where Tankjoh was surly and serious, this guy is bombastic and childish.

These are the most badass children I have ever seen.

Actually, that’s not true, but, they’re up there.

I’m wonder if it’s an effect of the brainwashing.

I love that girl in the lavender sweatshirt who just goes for the spinning kick. XD

Touwa probably bothered Banba until he agreed to bring her here. XD Which may have been easier bc Banba probably didn’t want to have to deal w/ her…

Melto thinking ‘oh, crap, she’s pretentious, the only way we’re gonna get her to talk is… *sigh* okay, someone has to take this bullet, it might as well be me…’

Honestly, though, I think the only other person who would possibly be willing to do that is Touwa, and probably not. Asuna wasn’t taking well to getting ordered around, and Banba would never kneel to anyone (… Well… Actually, no comment). My interpretation is that Melto realises she’s rather high and mighty, and that she’ll respond to an act of 'reverence’ like that, and he knows no one else in the room is gonna be willing to do it w/out complaining. So he just steps in to save them all the trouble. Mom friend to the rescue.

Honestly, it’s very sensible of him. ^^

I need to write more w/ Melto… DX

Banba is the back modelling. Bc boy can’t be in a single scene where he isn’t posing in some way at every opportunity.

XD I WAS RIGHT. ^^

Sorry Short Cheese, Banba doesn’t care if you think he has manners (I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to ditch her in the forest earlier XD). Touwa looks slightly miffed, but I think he’s less effected by it coming from you. The only one you’re offending is Asuna. And, actually, I’d advise against that.

Hey, isn’t Asuna also technically a noble?

Asuna’s like ‘First off, how dare you? Second, how dare you? And third… How dare you?’

XD This is even funnier bc of one of my casual ships. ^^

Melto hates this so much, but he’s willing to do it to find out what’s happening. XD Poor baby.

Oh, okay. So the mind control is just his thing.

This is so vague I can’t trust it… I mean, I guess most of it could be on the level, but… Hm. I gotta wonder if they were allowed to escape… And what exactly he’s got on them to have them still be doing this? (Bc next ep pretty much reveals they’re trying to trick the team) Is Short Cheese mind controlled? Is Tall Cheese? They repeat her ‘I would risk my own life to save her’ twice this ep, so I’m guessing Tall Cheese/little sister’s life is still in danger somehow…? I dunno. I guess we’ll learn this weekend.

So… What, you can just teleport? Why didn’t you do that when you were running before? SUSPICIOUS?

Also, I’m not sure I trust these flashbacks either, bc they’re from Short Cheese’s point of view, and next ep indicates she wasn’t being on the level w/ the team. I mean, she’s holding that orange rock in a bottle… But… Did it come from her planet? Is it something they stole from the Druidons? Or is there a part of this story that was left out (actually, that much is obvious bc Short Cheese didn’t mention the rock at all), where the Druidon gave it to her? Too many variables, even if I didn’t know they were up to something.

I should note that it’s pretty obvious they’re not actually evil and are being forced into doing this. They’re only here as guest stars and they’re being promoted as being idols (exhibit A, the abrupt song sequence coming up), so I HIGHLY doubt they’re gonna pull out the rug and make them outright evil.

And, anyway, the next ep preview practically confirms that. XD

Girl in the lavender sweatshirt is ready to kill something, I swear.

I also like the boy in the burgundy and white sweatshirt. XD He’s paying such good attention. ^^

Asuna’s offended, Melto’s somewhere else thinking about Wyzul, Banba doesn’t care and Touwa’s in. XD

Touwa clearly here thinking ‘dear god, I know I never want to go through that… O_o’

Honey, I am so sorry, but I make no promises. DX

That’s a very direct question, but no less then I’d expect from Banba. Though also… Kinda odd? What are you trying to establish here, sweetie? Why are you asking this?

This line is very important, clearly. They repeat it twice. Pretty sure it’s to make us understand that whatever is going on next ep, it’s bc the sisters are trying to protect each other. Like I said, I’m presuming that Tall Cheese is actually still in danger somehow.

WHAT WAS HE TRYING TO ESTABLISH W/ THAT QUESTION? And then he just accepts her answer? I’m confused…

I really can’t tell if he’s finding something odd w/ this, or if he’s accepting it bc he’s sympathising w/ her… DX Tatsuya is being unreadable too well! DX

And then she… Just starts singing? Like, I love this show, but… There could’ve been a better lead up to that.

Though I do love Naohisa reacting to the lights. XD

So… Was this just a random musical interlude, or… Was she doing something? I guess it was so that Kou could hear it and make the connection, but the execution could have gone a little better.

Banba takes that extra moment to pose. XD

Untransformed fight! ^^

I love how Banba just delays transforming to take off. :D

I needed to use a new emoticon.

Kou’s little ‘Ah!’ and pointing when the kids show up! XD

Girl in the lavender sweatshirt is going to cut something.

See, this is an effective use of the singing.

Uh… What. Melto, what does that… Whatever. Sentai logic.

Now he says ‘Okay, Tyra!’ instead of just ‘Tyra!’

SOMEONE TEACH HIM TOUWA AND BANBA’S NAMES!

Banba would be SO AWKWARD. XD

Oh, NOW you transform. XD Well, we wouldn’t have had that beautiful weapon toss if you had before. ^^

See? We bring up the line again, and there’s a weird sound cue? Does it mean anything?

Touwa sees the other smollest sib and must immediately go help her. XD

I do like the improve mobility of this mech. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adored the clusterfuck of orbs that was the Kyuranger mecha, but… It’s nice to seem something more dynamic once in a while?

Kudos the new suit actor, too. Whose name still escapes me… DX

Convenient train tracks. XD Sentai logic.

Actually, just Toku logic.

I love MirNeedle and his honk and his spinning attack. XD

Could you be more tsundere in one sentence???

Touwa’s just like ‘stages of realising your brother is a tsundere, stage 3: acceptance’

Kou doesn’t mind, though. XD

I do think Banba is starting to kind of like the trio, but boy is very damaged and the concept scares him, so he’s trying to fight it as much as possible, even though it’s just kind of a slight, vague fondness at this point.

Like, eventually, he’s going to end up adopting them, it’s going to happen, he’s going to have at least four younger sibs, actually five. But we’re not there quite yet.

I would love a ‘we’re not each other’s only family anymore’ sort of thing from the brothers. Or maybe one of the trio telling them that. XD

One day, a Mosasaurus will be in that empty spot, I bet.

Melto and Banba on the same wavelength. ^^

So… The Minusaur host is dead now?

This is cute, but I already know there’s more to this.

XD Oh, Banba. You’re starting to like them, I know you are. You’re not getting out of this. Though I do get why you really don’t want that to happen.

Though I do think his getting emotional next week is a partially due to it. ^^ Like, yes, there’s the fact that he’s mad at Kou for being too trusting, and that it might be dangerous for all of them/earth, but… I dunno. Probably overthinking.

But I’m gonna wax on about that shot in the preview later, don’t worry. XD

Or worry, if you don’t want to hear my rambling. In… Which case why would you even be reading this.

Melto on point again. XD I really need to write more w/ you… DX

Though on the other hand, I guess there’s a possibility that she could have read it in Naohisa’s papers at the house, or he said it to her. But she didn’t seem interested in the research, and they could just ask Naohisa if he mentioned it.

Hm… Maybe they’re waiting to update the ED until Gold gets here.

Why does Kou have the inflation Soul activated?

… That sounds like he knows way  more about economics than he actually does. XD

As far as the preview, I like the drama that seems to be happening. ^^ Maybe they’ll finally give us some slightly more concrete info on what happened to Banba. Or just… Anything about the brothers’ past? And what about that hooded person? The sisters are up to something, but they’re obviously being forced into it somehow, Wyzul is definitely the sneaky type. We’re also heading into May, which means DimeVolcano and possibly Gaisorg/Gaisoulg? Though he wasn’t in any of the scans so even if his figurine is releasing, we likely won’t be seeing him until the very end/month after.

Pleasedon’tbeGoldpleasedon’tbeGoldpleasedon’tbeGold.

There are so many better possibilities. DX I know who I want it to be (even though I don’t strictly know ‘who’ that is XD), but there are other possibilities too.

And while I would like to see next ep, I am also curious about the arc coming after it. I really wanna know if my crazed visual analysis madness was right about it only being the kids who are trapped in Wonderland and Banba is trying to get them out. I wanna know.

Hm… Does anyone know where the ‘newspaper summaries’ come from? Like, we got the ones from 5 to 7… Are we gonna get ones for 8 to 11 at some point?

I am an impatient baby. DX ^^;

That’s all folks! Virtual chocolate eclairs for anyone who read all that. But, actually, that’s not all! I still wanna ramble about something—namely, and silly personal theory/hc of mine.

Bc of this face:

Okay, so. During that conversation where Banba did the whole ‘Kindness can make one weak’ thing, I mentioned that I found Kou’s reaction interesting? Bc it might’ve been in his characterisation to get mad and insist that kindness does not make people weak—esp since he clearly still doesn’t think that. But instead, he just looked a little hurt, and looked sad? Like… It seemed to me he was more saddened that Banba thought that way at all than being offended by the statement. Not ‘how could you think that?!’ but more… Like ‘that’s so sad that you’ve been made to believe that?’ If that makes sense? That somehow, Kou caught on that Banba has this view bc he was hurt terribly in the past? And then there’s this face here. Boy looks like a sad puppy. It’s totally my skewed interpretation bc I had that thought before, but to me it looks like he’s looking at Banba like… Empathetically? Like he pities him? So now I’m falling even deeper into the idea that Kou doesn’t find Banba’s distrust of others insulting of offensive in anyway, but is just sad for the fact that someone could come to think that way. Realises that Banba is like this bc he got hurt and is scared, and is just heartbroken by that? That someone could get hurt so badly that they lose faith in nearly all goodness in the world? I might like it if there’s a moment where Kou proves he’s more thoughtful than he seems (like, he can be thoughtful, he has his moments—though he is still an impulsive, goofy doofus) by, like, outright asking Banba what happened to him. That’d def throw Banba for a loop, I think. This is, of course, just my overthinking and incoherent rambling. But I do like the idea. ^^ Last note: my god Tatsuya has pretty eyelashes! DX

[im-tops-bottom]

The final battle raged on at the Black Gate. Orcs by the thousands were fighting against the many people who wished to take them down not realizing that two hobbits had reached their destination.

Aragorn saved Gimli from a few orcs before spotting Legolas who looked like he needed a hand. He listened to his heart when it told him to go help the elf but then a sound echoed behind him.

He turned around and looked up to see a giant beast and prayed that Legolas could defend himself while he took out the big guy. What he didn't realize was that Legolas had already gotten rid of the pile up that had surrounded him and was calling out to Aragorn while said man was thrown to the ground.

Aragorn did his best to defend himself and got in a few slices here and there but the beast was still standing. His eyes widened as it leaned back getting ready to leave a devistating blow. He raised his hands and was about to close his eyes when he felt the ground shake.

He saw the orcs backing off slightly and it gave him enough time to stand and as he did so he watched the building that held the eye of Sauron crumble and fall. He looked around him as he watched the orcs scramble. He thought that they were safe now so he quickly turned to look for Legolas. His eyes had widened some more.

"LEGOLAS!!"

He watched as the confused elf turned to see what was behind him and then a blade stabbed into him. Aragorn ran with all his might ignoring the ground opening up and sending the orcs plummeting to their death. He made it to Legolas and took down the orc before dropping to the ground and holding the elf.

"FRODO! HE DID IT!"

Everyone cheered for Frodo but Aragorn felt he couldn't. Not when he had his dying best friend in his arms. He couldn't celebrate when he knew his world was about to end. Suddenly everything went dark and his body laid right next to Legolas. He didn't see or hear anyone around them shouting and rushing to their side. All he heard before his eyes closed was Legolas saying "I love you Aragorn. Always have, always will."

For what felt like forever Aragorn finally woke. He sat up and groaned as he felt pain on the side of his head.

"woah easy there Stryder"

Aragorn looked up and saw Frodo hop out of his own bed and realized exactly where they were. They had made it and was taken back to Rivendell. They had won and it was all thanks to the Hobbit in front of him. Speaking of people who he really wanted to see.

"where's Legolas?"

Aragorn noticed Frodo looking down as water left the hobbits eyes and he pulled him in for a hug. He knew that the elf surviving was a long shot but deep down he had prayed that the elf would have made it. He felt his own tears drop as he hugged Frodo tighter.

After a few seconds Sam, Merry and Pippin rushed in and joined the hugging pair followed with Gimli and then Gandalf. Aragorn didn't notice a pair of elves standing by the door until the group dispersed. He looked up and nodded at the two.

"Elrond"

Nods again.

"Thranduil"

Elrond was the first to speak. He looks at Aragorn and Frodo.

"how are the two of you? It was quite a battle"

Frodo holds his hand up and Aragorn notices a finger missing.

"well you know, missing fingers didn't stop me from doing what needed to be done. I just felt bad that there was nothing I could do to save Smeagol"

Elrond sat down on Frodos bed next to the Hobbit and patted his back.

"you can't save those who do not wish to be saved"

There was a moment of silence which was cut off by Pippin who walked up to the elf by the door.

"Never met you before. You remind me of Legolas. Hi I'm Pippin"

"Thranduil, king of the Woodland realm"

"ooh a king. There are so many Kings today. We've seen Gondor, it's a mess. Can we come see what your kingdom looks like? Did you bring some of that elf bread with you?"

Everyone groans at what Pippin says which causes the Hobbit to look around.

"what? What did I say?"

Aragorn watches as the amused Thranduil tries his hardest to not show any emotion as he raises a brow at the little Hobbit.

After awhile of everyone talking and catching up, Aragorn gets out of bed and heads out wanting to walk around the garden. He notices footsteps behind him and turns around. He bows as he notices it's Thranduil. He watches the elf stand next to him as they stare out into the garden watching all the little elf kids running around playing with the friendly creatures that roam the area.

"Legolas told me to give this to you"

Aragorn grabs the letter that the king held.

"he's really gone isn't he?"

"he used his last dying breath to sail to Valinor"

"your son was a good person my king. He died fighting and protecting what he believed in"

"I know. He did the elves proud. He did me proud"

"did you tell him that?"

"I told him that his mother wasn't the only one that loved him"

And with that Aragorn watched as Thranduil walked away.

It was 2 days later when the coronation took place and Aragorn was made king. Right after was his marriage to Arwen followed with a celebration.

Halfway during the celebration Aragorn left to his Chambers and sat on a seat next to the window. He took out his pipe and the letter he hadn't opened since receiving it.

"it's about time I open this letter"

He opened it and took a deep breath before reading it.

Dear Aragorn,

If you are reading this letter then that means I'm no longer on this plane of existence and have set sail to Valinor. As my time here has ended I wish to tell you something I could have never told you in person.

My father had given me a quest when I left Mirkwood. He told me to look for a Stryder. A man he knew would make a fine king one day. When I had set out to do it I didn't know what I would expect. It was a long adventure before I reached my destination.

When I first met this stubborn hard headed man I had begun to wonder if this really was the right type of person who would be king one day. Who knew you would prove me wrong. You became my friend, my comrade, a great leader and the best person I could ever think of that would do remarkable things as king.

It was when we were training in Rivendell that things took a different turn for me. I started developing strong emotions I hadn't felt since Tauriel. I couldn't figure these emotions out because they took a new turn. It wasn't until I lost you when I realized what it was that I truly felt. I had fallen in love. It was love that I felt all those years ago in Rivendell. It was love I felt when you came back to us after I thought all hope was lost. It took almost losing you for all the pieces to finally fit together. I put all my trust, faith and love in you hoping you would guide us to victory.

We are heading out for more fights because the war isn't over. Not by a long shot. I still need to find you and apologize for my moments of despair. Then again after what you said, there was a reason I was speaking elvish. I hope no harm is brought to us. Especially you my love.

Well I better finish this letter up. I still got letters to write for everyone else and an apology to a stubborn hard headed man I need to get out.

My father was right by the way. You will make an excellent king. Now go on and give your best. Do it for all those you have lost and all those that are still living.

P.s. if you receive this letter and I'm still alive, make sure the dwarf doesn't see this. I think he was one of the best friends, aside from yourself, an elf could ever have. I will never tell him that and he doesn't need to know. He will become a strong leader one day. Look after him for me will you.

- Legolas

"Oh Legolas Greenleaf you stupid elf. My stupid elf. I love you too. Always have, always will"

I rest my weary eyes as I rest back on the seat.

"I'll promise to keep fighting the good fight. For you and for everyone else my little elf."

My tears finally stop and I drop off to sleep as the celebration still rages on.

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: The Passing of the Grey Company

EYYYY MERRY!! Aragorn! Legolas and Gimli!! I missed you guys! 8-D

“So four of the Company still remain.” Dramatic much, Aragorn??

“‘And then whither?’ said Legolas. ‘I cannot say yet,’ Aragorn answered.” *hums to myself* And whither then, I cannot say…

Legolas and Gimli don’t even wait to hear where Aragorn is going before they loudly volunteer to come with him. I love these dorks so much LOL

“But do not look for mirth at the ending. It will be long, I fear, ere Theoden sits at ease again in Meduseld. Many hopes will wither in this bitter spring.” Aaaaand Aragorn accidentally foreshadows Theoden’s death :-(

Literally Merry: “Welp, if I run now, I’ll die, so I might as well stay and fight.”

Aragorn, immediately, upon seeing an old friend again: IT’S HUGGING TIME

“Merry breathed a sigh of relief. …It seemed that there would be no need to die in Theoden’s defense, not yet at any rate.” Whoa, Merry, that’s pretty hardcore. Respect.

Yooo so these are all Rangers like Aragorn?? And Elrond’s sons are here too?? SICK.

All of Aragorn’s old friends, in fancy foreshadowing language, at once: “HI WE BROUGHT YOU A FLAG AND YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO WAKE UP SOME GHOSTS”

Legolas calling Merry “Master Sluggard” for sleeping until noon X’-D Give me the Legolas and Merry roast battle STAT!

Tolkien quietly implies that Legolas and Gimli stood around talking to Merry while he got dressed. I don’t have anything to comment here except that casual platonic intimacy is delightful.

Evidently, the Rangers are here because of Galadriel ex machina.

Merry’s opinion of Theoden went from “I want to talk to you about pipeweed” to “I would die for you” in like .005 seconds and I am 1000% here for it

“Filled suddenly with love for this old man, he knelt on one knee, and took his hand and kissed it. ‘May I lay the sword of Meriadoc of the Shire on your lap, Theoden King?’ he cried. ‘Receive my service, if you will!’”

WOW that’s like a high-octane shot of unfiltered medieval chivalry right to the veins. I think the buzz in my head is my entire British ancestry all waking up at once in a patriotic fit. HECK YEAH KINGS AND KNIGHTS AND CASTLES MAN LET’S FRICKIN’ GOOOOOO

!!!!!!!!! HELLO??? All the Rangers wear their cloaks asymmetrically??? “Pinned on the left shoulder” it says. I’VE BEEN DRAWING ARAGORN’S CLOAK PINNED ON HIS SHOULDER THIS WHOLE TIME. The right-side one, not the left, but STILL. I DIDN’T FRICKIN’ REMEMBER THIS PART. DID I RECALL IT SUBCONSCIOUSLY AGAIN???? HEEEEHHHH??????

Pippin, constantly: “I miss Merry :-(” Merry, constantly: “I miss Pippin :-(”

Oooh the Rangers have been guarding the Shire, and the hobbits didn’t even know about it!! That’s so cool, man. Like guardian angels with mud-stained boots.

I have little to say about Aragorn’s story of looking into the Palantir except that I’m glad he’s had something to eat and I really hope he gets some sleep soon :-/

Ohhh so the Grey Company is Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and the other Rangers. The Three Musketeers and Co.

Eowyn: “Please don’t go.” Aragorn: “Sorry, no.” Eowyn: “You’ll die.” Aragorn: “No, I won’t.” Eowyn: “Then take me with you so that I can die too.” Aragorn: “Emphatically, no.”

Eowyn bemoaning the “part of a woman” is both startlingly modern and better than any more recent attempt I’ve seen to write the exact same thing. Eowyn doesn’t want to fight just because she’s afraid of seeming “lesser than the men”; she wants to fight because she’s afraid of living a purposeless life, of sitting around uselessly while the world is in peril and she feels she can help. Her motivation is a lot like Steve Rogers’ back in the first Captain America movie: “Bucky, come on! There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them.”

Aaaaand Tolkien once again proves that he can absolutely write suspense and horror if he wants to.

Gimli is an interesting choice for a POV character here. I guess it makes sense, tho; he’s neither a Ranger nor an Elf, so the fear of the Dead is going to sit heaviest on him.

“Yes, the Dead ride behind. They have been summoned.” OHHHHH HOHOHOHO.

DUUUUDE. JUST. Okay so we all know that in the movie there’s this huge confrontation where Aragorn argues with the dead king to help them, right?? That totally makes sense story-wise; it’s a “trial” he has to pass to get their respect. But there’s nothing like that here. The trial is quiet, it’s understated; it’s simply the labor of getting through the Paths of the Dead and battling through that aura of fear to the other side. And you don’t know that the ghosts are following you until you’re leaving. Imagine being on your way out of a place called the Paths of the Dead, finally coming out of that horrible cave and looking up to see the stars, and when you finally think you’re safe, you turn around and see an army of ghosts following in silent procession. CHILLS, MAN. Just. CHILLS.

And now the Grey Company includes the ghosts apparently!

I have nothing to say about the people running away from Aragorn and calling him “the King of the Dead” except that it’s funny and chilling all at once.

The Stone of Erech really said ⚫️

[sk3ll3tor]

Latest Blythe Bro's conversation?

Everything wasn’t fine.

It was absolutely futile to try and put up an everything is fine facade for Jamie. He had always been very intuitive, and wasn’t going anywhere.

“You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You fucked up, but everyone makes mistakes. You kissed someone, you immediately regretted it but didn’t get a chance to clear the air properly before you got hit by a goddamn car. You lost your memory, and I’m sorry, flippin’ the situation here– I don’t care how hurt I was, if Caspar was in the hospital and couldn’t remember shit, I’d be right there by his side. How shitty is it to say you love someone and the moment they fuck up, you’re out? Real love is takin’ someone’s good and their bad. Not lettin’ yourself get walked all over, but also not disappearin’ the moment things get hard. You didn’t fuck Derrick–

“Actually–”

“When all this was happening?!”

“No, after. After I got released.”

“Okay, that’s… kinda fair game. You’re broken up… anyway, as I was saying. What if you never got your memories back? He was just gonna forget about you like that?��� Jamie’s brows were furrowed slightly.

“But I did get my memories back, Jamie you don’t understand. I–” Ben was getting a little frustrated with this conversation. He didn’t like the way Jamie was talking about Iago, but deep down, he knew that Jamie knew more about relationships than he did. In a way, Ben was jealous that Jamie was such a steadfast person. Caspar was very lucky.

“–You fucked up. And you’re sorry, but he’s choosin’ to treat you like an emotional hookup. He’s comin’ by, grabbin’ a few things, gettin’ his fill of seein’ you miserable and hearin’ you say you’re so sorry, then goin’ off and not talkin’ to you again.” Jamie reached for another slice of pizza, shaking his head. “If you’re breakin’ up for good, then do it. Make a clean cut and move on. You deserve better. I know you goofed, but you don’t deserve that. It’s not like you killed anyone or stole somethin’ or acted out of cruelty. You’re still a good person, even if you’re tryin’ to be an asshole again, which by the way, it’s ain’t workin’ so much now that your memories are comin’ back.”

Ben simply listened. Jamie’s heart was in the right place, but he couldn’t agree. He took a long swig of his beer and looked at the other with furrowed brows. Maybe Jamie was right. “Are you sayin’ he’s gettin’ off on seein’ me like that? I don’t wanna hear this anymore, he isn’t like that, Jamie.”

“Look. I like Iago. Hell, I tried talkin’ to ‘im and told ‘im to talk to me if there’s anything he needs, but he ain’t talkin’ to me, either. He’s a great guy, but he seems dead set and bein’ done with you, and what he’s doin’ now is not good. If you’re not gonna have a relationship, then cut ties. You can’t just love someone when they’re good t’you and say fuck it all when they make a mistake. That’s not love. That’s convenient. If you don’t wanna be with Derrick, who has been there for you, make a clean cut there, too. Don’t lead ‘im on or string ‘im along. Focus on your art. Don’t hoe around expectin’ things to change. You were doin’ that before and you weren’t happy, remember? The right person will come along, but you’ve gotta decide if you wanna keep wallowin’ in your own self pity or if you’re gonna get up and move ahead like the Benjamin that I know and have always known.”

“Can we talk about somethin’ else? Hyde isn’t eating. I’m wonderin’ if it’s because she misses them. I’m thinkin’ of takin’ her to the vet,” Ben said, looking to the puppy curled in a cute little ball at the end of the couch. “Poor girl. Dogs are more intuitive than we give ‘em credit for. Take her today, it might be the stress of everything that’s goin’ on. It might help her to be around Merry and Pippin, I dunno.”

“If she can’t be without Jekyll, then maybe I should give ‘er back to Iago,” he said, the heartbreak audible in his voice. He loved her very much, but he needed to do whatever was best for her. Hopefully, this was just a passing thing and she would start eating normally again. They had been eating pizza, but now even Ben wasn’t hungry anymore. Everything sucked, and he needed to pull himself out of this rut before he started getting really depressed. Ben didn’t want to cut ties with Iago, who had been the only person capable of breaking down his walls and getting through to him.

But he was gone.

And now Ben had to carefully build himself up again. He couldn’t do that if Iago kept coming around… So maybe he would listen to everyone and just fly solo for a while. Maybe he would start avoiding both Derrick and Iago. The thought was unnerving, but if it meant he could move forward with his life, then maybe it would be worth a shot.

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Wrong End of the Ithilien Stick (Legolas x Reader)

Requested by: @elvish-sky

could i request a legolas x reader with angst- like she misheard something he said and they have a falling out- but with a happy ending?

A/N: Here you are!! Hope you enjoy :) bon appetit ☀️

They were hopeless – completely, and utterly hopeless. Most who wished to court did so at the first few stolen glances, but not Y/n and Legolas.

Apparently, a year’s worth of peril on the road did nothing to invoke revelations. The Fellowship journey may have introduced them to one another, but it did nothing to bring them together. No, that was entirely up to them – the worst two to be left in charge of their own romantic fates.

Although, that’s not to say they entirely went their separate ways in the aftermath. Y/n had stayed behind with Legolas, in Ithilien, where they sought to restore the trees.

The whole process was full of cleared throats, deep blushes and shy smiles. Gimli, on the occasions he would visit, rolled his eyes, and groaned aloud.

“Ye still on yer dove dancing, are ye?” he taunted one day.

However, all the pair could do, was look away from one another. Y/n simply felt herself too inferior to his royal status, as to make the first move. Legolas, on the other hand, felt himself too high maintenance to even begin asking her if she minded his princely upbringing.

It was a vicious cycle, but one the four Hobbits sought to destroy, following their next visit.

“So, we are all aware of our roles?” Frodo asked, as the four friends strolled across a wooden bridge, and into the Ithilien forest.

Frodo had enjoyed the distraction, and appreciated the time away from his cooped-up desk greatly. Any chance to rid himself of the journey’s memories, was a chance he’d take.

“Aye!” Pippin confirmed. “Merry and I are tackling Y/n, and you and Sam will handle Legolas.”

“By nightfall, those two will be married!” Merry agreed, nodding resolutely.

However, stifling the Hobbits’ laughter, Y/n and Legolas appeared from nowhere – greeting them by the creek’s bank.

“Who’s getting married by nightfall?” Y/n sweetly asked, squinting under the bright morning sun.

“I don’t mind a wedding,” Legolas added on, smiling down at Y/n. “If it’s someone we know, perhaps we ought to go. Could borrow some cake?”

“I don’t think they’ll be wanting it back, somehow,” Y/n laughed, sharing the Elf’s smile.

Watching as they grinned brightly, and laughed together, the four Hobbits nervously looked at one another.

Oh, how desperately they needed their plan to work. Y/n would shrivel from mortality, before they even had a chance to marry themselves!

“Alas, we’re being rude,” Y/n dismissed, immediately moving forwards to hug all her friends. “It’s been so long since our last visit to the Shire! We’ve missed you all so much!”

“Likewise,” Sam warmly replied, hugging her tight. “We quite enjoyed the trek on over here too.”

“Oh, really?” Y/n excitedly asked, pulling back. “Legolas and I have been working on the trail leading in all year! We finally managed to grow the petunias you sent over as well.”

“That’s wonderful news,” Frodo smiled, now walking in tow with the girl and Elf, as they led them away. “So…speaking of news, has anything as of late occurred in Ithilien? Any news of courtship, perhaps?”

“From whom?” Legolas tightly asked, not at all liking Frodo’s sly connotation.

“Oh, no one in particular,” he lied, sharing a smile with the other Hobbits.

“Of course…” Legolas dismissed, nonetheless answering, as he walked through the botanical gardens. “Well, not to our knowledge, no…oh, but a wonderful pair of deer mated recently! We are expecting fawns any season now.”

“So are we,” Merry grumbled, rolling his eyes.

Having heard, with his Elven hearing, what the Hobbit said, Legolas confusedly glanced over his shoulder. Nonetheless, he merely only creased his features, before stealing a glance at Y/n. He then looked back up front, as they pressed on walking.

“Well, there is much ground to cover,” Legolas changed the topic, glancing up at the glittering trees. “We ought to start here first, so that we can make it back in time to-“

“Actually, Legolas,” Frodo interjected, coming to a halt, and causing the others to do the same, “we were thinking, on the way over here, that we ought to maybe split the group in half, so that we might finish earlier this time?”

Blinking down at the Hobbit, Y/n and Legolas knitted their brows. They then unsteadily looked between one another, before Y/n herself piped up again.

“Uh, sure…we can do that,” she said. “Any reason why, though?”

“Well, we do want to see your restoration project, and permaculture,” Merry began answering, chewing on the end of his pipe, “but, we’d prefer to spend some time with just you two as well. You know, at dinner and such. Don’t forget, we need supper as well.”

Looking between one another once more, and silently communicating, the two taller friends discreetly shrugged.

“Very well,” Legolas sighed, returning his attention to the Hobbits. “Frodo and Sam, you two can come with me. Merry and Pippin, you join Y/n. Oh, and Merry? Discard the pipe – there’s no smoking in Ithilien.”

Upholding both palms in surrender, Merry tucked the pipe away. As he and Pippin began following after Y/n, they both shared a sneaky grin with Frodo and Sam. They each all resolutely nodded at one another, before turning around to face back up front.

~

“Oh! Oh! Look!” Y/n excitedly pointed out.

Looking upwards, both Merry and Pippin observed a courting pair of bluebirds. They flew around one another, and landed in a little brown nest, high up in a tree.

Grinning brightly, Y/n breathed in the soft spring air.

“Oh, don’t you just love this time of year?” she wistfully sighed. “The courting animals, the romantic lighting, the little boats on the lake-“

“THAT’S IT! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” Merry exclaimed. He clamped his ears tight, with both hands, and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Merry?” Y/n asked in concern, swiftly turning around to observe him. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? What’s WRONG?” Merry seethed, finally re-meeting her eyes. “YOU ARE, Y/N, THAT’S WHAT!”

“I beg your pardon?” Y/n bit back, looking him up and down with narrowed eyes. “What did I do?”

“It’s more like what you haven’t done,” Pippin elaborated, ever-so-casually. “Actually, both you and Legolas, to be perfectly candid.”

Feeling heat rise to her cheeks, Y/n stammered over her words.

“I-I don’t understand-“ she tried to say.

“Yes, you do,” Merry interjected, using a series of hand gestures to further his point. “You like him. He likes you. It’s been like this since Rivendell – BEFORE we all set out for Mordor, mind you! Somehow, destroying that little ring was easier than getting you two to admit your feelings!”

Y/n was at a loss for words. Had it all really been that obvious?

“Yes, it really has been that obvious,” Merry piped up again, apparently having read her mind.

Slumping her shoulders, Y/n ran a hand along her face, and complained.

“This is really humiliating…” she said. “Do you think Legolas knows too?”

“Y/n, not to alarm you, but I’m pretty sure all of Arda knows,” Pippin winced.

Finding a park bench, Y/n sat herself down in a flush, and groaned.

“Well, whatever am I to do?” she asked, as her two friends each took a seat beside her. “I ought to tell him, I know that much, but I just simply cannot muster the courage.”

“Y/n, I’ve seen you slowly decapitate an orc’s head with a picnic knife,” Merry deadpanned, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I think you can handle telling your one true love how you really feel.”

Rolling her eyes at his choice of cheesy words, Y/n soon reeled them into her lap, where she picked at her thumbnail.

“Aye, that is true, but…” she pressed on, “well, look at me, guys. I’m a commoner, and no amount of true love is going to change that. He’s a prince, at the end of the day…what would everyone think?”

“What does it matter what everyone thinks?” Pippin encouraged, holding her other shoulder. “We, the Fellowship survivors, know above all else just how short life is. You can’t spend it worrying about what others will make of your happiness.”

Seeing the cogs turn in her mind, Merry squeezed her shoulder harder, and urged her to look at him.

“You love him, Y/n…you can’t delay any longer,” he said.

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Y/n creased her brows. It was true, she loved him, more than anything else. Why should she deny herself that, based purely on what others would think?

“You know something? You’re right!” she resolutely declared. She stood upwards quickly, and squared her shoulders. “I love him, and I shouldn’t care what anyone thinks of my status! I’m going to tell him – today!”

Whooping and hollering, Merry and Pippin also both jumped to their feet. They pushed her along, as she began jogging away, to where she knew Legolas would be.

“That’s the spirit, friend!” Pippin cheered. “Go and tell him! And please make the cake red velvet at the wedding!”

Waving over her shoulder with a grin, Y/n pushed her legs faster, as to find Legolas, and finally reveal her heart to him.

~ In the botanical greenhouse, Legolas, Sam and Frodo all stood around – inspecting the many different pot plants.

“And this one is a young fern,” Legolas explained, holding a tiny plant up high. “I grew it myself from a seedling. I’m hoping it’ll soon have sprouts of its own, and raise a family, and-“

“Oh my goodness…” Sam sighed, folding his arms, and shaking his head. “You really are hopeless, you know that, right?”

“Pardon?” Legolas confusedly asked, lifting his eyes from the fern. “My apologies…if you do not like ferns, I could show you the-“

“Legolas…I think you ought to sit down for a moment,” Frodo interjected, gesturing to a wooden chair in the middle of the greenhouse.

Furrowing his brows, Legolas warily glanced between the two Hobbits. They stood in front of the chair, and folded their arms – very serious, indeed.

Slowly, Legolas made his way on over towards the chair, and sat down.

Instantly, the two Hobbits closed the greenhouse curtains all around, save for one. The only window left open served one ray of sun, which purely basked Legolas, and Legolas only, as if he were under an interrogation spotlight.

Squinting his eyes, and craning his head to move out of the light, Legolas spoke.

“Is the chair really necessary-“ he tried to say.

“Right, let’s cut to the chase,” Sam interjected, standing in front of Legolas with Frodo. “Y/n. You like her. She likes you. Now, why haven’t you courted her, and made beautiful children yet?”

Staring wide-eyed for a moment, Legolas parted his lips. However, swift in his archer’s mind, he soon sighed. Next, slumping his shoulders, Legolas responded.

“I suppose I haven’t been as discreet in my fondness as previously thought…” he mused.

“Not in the slightest,” Sam and Frodo said at once.

Twitching his lips to one side, Frodo softly stared down at his friend, and pressed on.

“Legolas…why haven’t you told her of how you feel yet?” he asked.

Lifting his eyes, and wincing them, Legolas considered his thoughts. He knew how much Y/n enjoyed her freedom, and he knew how restricting a royal life could be. He loved Y/n enough to not impose such a confining lifestyle on her – that was why he held back.

Exhaling again, Legolas knew he could no longer hide his feelings from his friends, and responded.

At the same time, just outside of the greenhouse, Y/n ran up to the door. Stumped for a moment, as to why the curtains were all drawn back, she nonetheless moved closer. However, upon hearing muffled voices on the other side, speaking of her in particular, she halted, and listened in.

“Are you jesting, Frodo? She’s a commoner,” Legolas said in frustration, shocking the girl outside. “Y/n and formalities simply do not mix. How could anyone ever love someone so different from themselves? Nay…I wouldn’t brew that situation.”

Having stumbled backwards in hurt, Y/n felt tears prick at her eyes. She raised both hands, and held them over her chest.

Before she could freely cry, she turned on her heel, and ran away. However, as she did so, she failed to hear the end of Legolas’ sentence, which defined the entire context.

“That’s why I can’t marry Y/n…she deserves better than what I could give her,” he said. “I wouldn’t wish for someone so free to be tied down to someone like me...I’m far too different from her.”

“Does Y/n not also get a say in the matter?” Frodo sincerely asked, studying his friend apologetically. “Y/n loves you, Legolas…you ought to at least give your courtship a chance, regardless of formalities.”

“Aye, Frodo is right,” Sam added on, nodding at his raven-haired friend. “You ought to at least speak to her. It can’t hurt…well, it can, but you’ll never know until you try.”

Sucking on his lower lip, Legolas knitted his brows. He considered his friends’ words, and mulled them over. It was true, he loved Y/n, and he was almost certain she him. Perhaps Frodo and Sam were right – simply talking couldn’t do much harm, could it?

Nodding his head, Legolas met the Hobbits’ eyes again.

“Aye,” he agreed at last. “You’re right, I ought to at least ask her!”

Swiftly standing, Legolas moved out from the chair, and headed towards the greenhouse door.

“We’re proud of you!” Sam cheered, giving a mighty few claps of his hands.

“Good luck,” Frodo smiled, nodding at his friend.

Nodding back once, Legolas beamed bright, and headed outside.

~

Having run away far enough, Y/n now trekked angrily through the forest. Her jaw was set, and her eyes burning. How could he be so nice to her face, only to say such horrible things behind her back? She cared not, for she would maintain the entire other side of Ithilien, from now on.

She, a commoner, would not dare stay with someone who cares so little for her. However, she soon heard a bright voice calling from behind. Turning around, she spotted Legolas swiftly jogging towards her.

“Y/n!” he called, wearing an excited smile.

The moment he jogged up to her, Y/n grew cold in her stance. She revered him with distrust, and anger.

This did not go unnoticed by Legolas, whose features dropped, and his mind wiped. He now sought to ensure she herself was okay.

“Are you alright?” he sincerely asked, brimming with concern.

Laughable, Y/n thought. How dare he pretend to care – right to her face as well!

“Never been better,” Y/n seethed, turning on her heel.

Stammering over his words for a minute, Legolas shook the odd mood in the air away. He followed after her, and shyly spoke – though, his words were hasty.

“There’s something I have to tell you,” he began. However, Y/n wanted none of it.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, your highness!” Y/n snapped, turning around once more, and angrily pointing at him. “I heard enough earlier.”

“You heard what I said?” Legolas repeated in horror, suddenly feeling his palms grow clammy – for more than one reason.

“Every last word,” Y/n replied, glaring across at the Elf.

Shocked by her attitude, Legolas was simply at a loss. He shook his head at the ground in confusion, and spoke.

“I-I thought you would have understood?” he said, lifting his puzzled eyes once more.

“Oh, I understand!” Y/n sarcastically started, rolling her eyes. “Just like you said yourself; how could anyone love someone so different?”

Truly hurt by her words, Legolas parted his lips. His eyes brimmed in anguish, as all his hopes were suddenly stomped on, and buried beneath the dirt.

“But…I thought that wouldn’t matter to you?” he said in a small voice.

“Yeah, well…I guess you thought wrong,” Y/n replied, scrunching her nose in disdain.

Turning on her heels, Y/n stalked away. Where she was heading? She didn’t know – all she knew, is that she could find some better and more loyal company, with just herself.

Left alone, Legolas stood in silence. What had just happened? She truly did not wish to court him, purely because of his royal status? Very well, then – he could do just as fine by himself.

Matching her anger, Legolas too stalked away, but in the opposite direction.

~

Sat down in the grass, and enjoying a picnic by the lake, Frodo and Sam basked in each other’s company. Merry and Pippin were off who knows where, and doing God knows what. However, all tranquillity soon came to an end, the moment a furious Y/n stomped past.

Staring between one another, and blinking in confusion, the two Hobbits quickly dropped their sandwiches. They rose swiftly, and chased after her.

“Hey! Hey, Y/n!” Frodo called, jogging to meet with her. “Have you found Legolas yet? There’s something you need to know. We spoke earlier, and-“

“Yes, I know you all talked earlier,” Y/n snapped, now recalling exactly whom Legolas spoke with before. She halted, and glared down at the two friends. “You’re all very good comrades, aren’t you? Well, if you are all such good brothers in arms, how about you go find him instead, and leave me alone?”

Noticing that she made a move to stalk away again, along the edge of the glistening lake, both Frodo and Sam confusedly looked between one another once more.

“I beg your pardon, Y/n,” Sam tentatively spoke up, watching her leave, “but I think you may have the wrong end of the stick here?”

“Oh, no, I think I have the exact right idea,” Y/n seethed, rolling her eyes. “I hope you all had a lovely time, speaking about me behind my back – and just a commoner? Really? We can’t all be from Bag End, Frodo.”

Confused, but only for a moment, the context suddenly clicked in Frodo’s mind. Racing forwards, he held Y/n’s hand, and kept her in place.

“Wait! You DEFINITELY have the wrong idea!” he exclaimed. “I know what you’re angry about, but you have to listen! He wasn’t talking about you in that regard – he was referencing his distress over taking you from your farming life, and placing you in royal formalities!”

“What are you talking about-“ Y/n had gone to say, with a yank of her hand out of his. However, Frodo’s words quickly met her mind, and ceased her tongue.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, now that made more sense.

Feeling a wave of shame wash over her, Y/n bared her teeth in cringe, and winced her features.

“Oh my…” was all she could say.

~

A little further off, but still heading towards the lake, and Legolas could be found in the same situation – however, only a few steps behind.

“You all come into our home, and plant ideas in our heads,” Legolas seethed, striding away from Merry and Pippin, “only to leave poisonous weeds instead! I don’t know what you’ve all done behind the scenes, but you’ve certainly made nothing better since your arrival!”

“Please, Legolas! Just tell us what happened!” Merry begged, struggling to keep up.

“Well, that’s just the thing, isn’t it? I don’t know!” Legolas exclaimed, rolling his eyes. “One minute, the last time I was with Y/n, mind you, and we were happy! But the second I see her again, after she spent her morning with you two, and she turns like the tide on a wintery day!”

“That just doesn’t make any sense…” Pippin whispered, creasing his brows. “When she left us, she was on her way to tell you all about how much she wished to court you, and-“

Halting in his tracks, Legolas paused. Snapping his head over his shoulder, the Elf questioned the Hobbit, who quickly clamped his mouth shut.

“What?” he pressed. “What do you mean she was coming to tell me of courting?”

Looking between one another, Merry and Pippin sheepishly bared their teeth. Figuring the cat was already out of the bag, Merry turned back first, and revealed their agenda.

“Well, we somewhat…nudged…Y/n, to tell you of her love for you,” he said. “Last time we saw her, like I said, she went to find you in the greenhouse.”

Knitting his brows, and mulling the new bouts of information over, Legolas responded through a confused shake of his head.

“But that just doesn’t make any sense,” Legolas continued. “What could have soured her perception, from her journey between you, and the greenhouse-“

The greenhouse.

Oh.

Oh.

Having caught his own words, Legolas immediately knew what went wrong. She had thought him to be insulting her status, and he thought her to be rejecting his.

Running a hand over his face, Legolas growled in frustration. Why must love be so hard? Surely, beyond courting, marriage and children, things would be easier, would they not? Well, Legolas wasn’t so certain he’d find out now – not unless he tracked down Y/n in time, before their rift planted roots too deep.

“I need to find her,” Legolas frantically began, looking all around himself. “I have no idea where she’d be – she could be on the other side of the forest, for all I know!”

“Uh, I don’t think so,” Merry interjected, staring behind Legolas with Pippin.

“How would you know?” Legolas confusedly asked, though, his frustration edged his tone.

“Just a hunch,” Merry said again, pointing behind the prince.

Looking over his shoulder, Legolas’ formerly hardened features softened. Y/n stood in the near distance behind him, and anxiously stared in his direction – like a deer caught in the headlights. She chewed on her lower lip nervously, and waited by the lapping water’s edge.

Catching both Frodo and Sam’s eye, Merry and Pippin each awkwardly began stepping away, as did the other two Hobbits.

“Okay, we’re just, uh…gonna go now, yeah…good luck,” Merry said, dragging his younger cousin away.

Swallowing his nerves, Legolas suddenly felt his knees buckle, and his palms grow clammy. Nonetheless, if he was old enough to court, then he was old enough to resolve relationship issues.

Breathing in a shaky breath, and releasing it through pursed lips, Legolas forced his feet across the grass, to where Y/n stood.

Feeling her own heart hammer, and sweat cling to her temples, Y/n shifted on her feet. She frequently looked between an approaching Legolas, and the lake beside her. Was love meant to be this scary? Would it always be like this? Or was this the end?

She figured she would soon find out, for the prince now stood before her.

Both said nothing. Instead, they merely stole glances, like so many times before, and looked at the rippling lake.

The sun basked them in a warm glow, and the wind blowing through the leaves nearby met their ears. Soon, however, a chilly afternoon breeze rolled through, and darkened the sky overhead.

With a shiver, Y/n wrapped her arms around her form. She rubbed up and down, as to bring the warmth back. She hadn’t been wearing a cloak that day, for she figured she needed none. This was, of course, against Legolas’ advisement earlier that morning.

Sensing her cold, Legolas finally studied her again. With a sigh past his nose, he shed his own cloak. Next, stepping forwards, and accelerating both her heartrate and his, he wrapped the green material around her shoulders.

Immediately, the cold of the world was blocked out. It even appeared as though the sun above had made a comeback – breaking through the otherwise grey clouds.

He held her shoulders, as he adjusted the cloak, and secured it over her form. Y/n watched his features, as they creased in both concentration, and consideration.

“Why would you do that?” Y/n asked, after a moment of quiet study – breaking the silence finally. “Won’t you now be cold?”

Although he did not feel the cold the same way she did, Legolas used the moment as an advantage – a hoist to deliver his most inner thoughts, in a way.

“Perhaps, but…I’d prefer you to be warm,” he said, having initially jolted at her sudden words.

“Why?” Y/n tightly asked. She knew why, but she wanted to hear him say it.

Swallowing down his nerves, Legolas slowly met her eyes. They brimmed with nerves, but also adoration – a combination of which Y/n shared. However, hers also bore eagerness, and anticipation.

“Because…” he began in a small voice, swallowing once more. “I…I, uh-“

“Yes?” Y/n whispered, leaning in closer.

Sighing, Legolas buried his nerves away, and did the most un-Elven thing possible. He swept Y/n into a tight embrace, and hugged her warmly.

Shocked for a minute, Y/n widened her eyes. However, she soon melted into his touch, and hugged him back.

“Because, I believe a partner should ensure theirs is okay,” Legolas finally revealed.

“Partner?” Y/n repeated, in a very small voice. “And by partner…you mean?”

“Someone I love dearly, and care about most ardently,” he softly replied, kissing the top of her head.

Stunned by his small gesture for a moment, butterflies fluttered in Y/n’s stomach. She then hid said nerves with humour.

“Well…that is definitely hard to misinterpret,” Y/n attempted to joke. However, her joy overwhelmed her, and she squeezed the prince harder. “If it’s any consolation, I love you too…and I’m sorry for my brash behaviour earlier.”

“Aye, I am as well,” Legolas grinned, swaying her in the sun. “So…this may perhaps be an ambitious request, but…will you court me? Royal status and all?”

“Of course,” Y/n grinned back. “But, will you court me, commoner status and all?”

Smiling brighter, and closing his eyes contently, Legolas continued on hugging the girl by the shore. He then softly answered, whilst the sun basked them both in a placid glow – perhaps a tell-tale of the many good days to come.

“Without question,” he said at last.

[roamingholiday]

Monday, August 14th 2017

I spent the hours between midnight and three trying to pack everything that I brought to live on for ten months away from home and also everything that I’d managed to collect over six weeks of living in London which included, but was not limited to, eight fairly large books, several new shirts, a pride sash, a very small toy minion that was once the top of a kid’s movie snack cup, and more baking supplies than most people would deem necessary for a six week stint in a foreign country. It was hardly adequate.

I then sent a message to my mother that said something along the lines of I am setting an alarm for eight in the morning, but if I don’t have a message from you telling me to be out of the door by eight thirty, I am going back to bed and resetting the alarm for ten.

I sent that, and then went to sleep.

At eight, I woke up to a message telling me to go back to sleep, which I did.

At ten, I woke up and packed everything I forgot about the night before, and then hauled my suitcase, my backpack, and the three extra bags of things that I could not fit into my original luggage into the rental car, with my mother’s help.

I then proceeded to sleep for most of the five hour ride.

We got to the Lake District (my old enemy we meet again) in the evening, and were welcomed into the cutest B&B. It was adorable and brightly colored and the owner told us all about how she renovated the space with one of her sons, and how she was planning on writing the name of every lake she’d swum in on the stairs.

Just look at this gorgeous bathroom.

It has a tub.

I mean, I didn’t actually take a bath, because I don’t like baths, but I could have, which makes it a far cry from the very tiny box of a shower that I had been using in my London residence, which was literally not big enough to stick both elbows out in.

The room was also adorable, and my own, so I didn’t have to share with anybody, which was lovely.

We got dinner at a little restaurant that served excellent meat pies, and then my mother and her husband retired to their room to sleep, and I retired to my room to… well, not do that.

I actually was planning on sleeping, because despite the fact that I’d spent most of my day asleep, I was still exhausted. Finals week plus traveling to a new country for a whirlwind weekend adventure does not lead to healthy sleep habits.

However, at about ten at night I discovered that the first Lord of the Rings movie was available on Amazon Prime UK, and that seemed like an appropriate movie to watch while still in England, so I figured I might as well.

To be clear, I’d never actually seen the movie before, or read the books (I know, I know, a high fantasy book that Trixie hasn’t read? It’s a miracle! But seriously, I tried so many times when I was younger, and I could never make it past the first hundred pages because it dragged so much. I read the Hobbit, but the Lord of the Rings always eluded me. I might try to read them again, though, I think I could do it if I just powered through the boring beginning), and somehow I hadn’t looked at the time stamp, so I was a full hour in before I realized I’d committed to a movie that was four hours long (it was the extended edition, because of course it was) and by then I was far too invested.

I do believe I sent a message somewhere along the lines of WHO MAKES A FOUR HOUR LONG MOVIE AS THE BEGINNING OF A TRILOGY to friends that I knew had seen the movies before.

The rest of this post is going to be a ramble about my feelings on the first Lord of the Rings movie, so if you’d rather not read that, you can stop here, and I will certainly not blame you.

So first of all why, in every fantasy novel, do they introduce the people like the elves, who are perfect, and the dwarves, who are rich, and the humans, who are corrupt and definitely the first to fall in any here comes the evil scenario? People die soonest? It’s not that I disagree that people are the worst, it’s just that I don’t understand why everyone else can’t also be the worst?

I'm confused. The Power of the Ring makes him a jedi?

It's very unclear what the Power of the Ring actually is.

Like.

Mind control?

Telekinesis?

And does it pass on like the elder wand? You gotta kill someone to get it?

I suspect these are the things that I would find out in the books, but if I read all three of them (and the Silmarillion, thanks, I do know some things), and I don’t get a detailed description of what the rings are, what power they impart, how they got that power in the first place, how they were made (and if it’s hand waved as ‘magic’ that does not count), and what, precisely, it means to have the power to rule them all, I will dig up J R R Tolkien to demand answers.

Moving on: I’m sure Gollum was a super creepy character when he was first introduced but I’ve seen too many memes mocking the voice and the my precious line to take it seriously.

I understand why I loved the Hobbit more than LOTR: Hobbits spend their lives eating and reading and hating tall people, that’s clearly where I belong.

I also hope that the books contain a detailed explanation for what wizards are, how they get their power, why they’re all apparently old men, and what, exactly, their power set is.

Speaking of wizards, Harry Potter has negatively conditioned me to mistrust any old bearded wizard who says trust me, I'm your friend. Is Gandalf actually Sauron. I think I’d have gotten that spoiled for me at some point, but honestly I have surprisingly little idea how LOTR actually ends. I assume they win. Hopefully not a lot of people die but I don’t have high hopes about that.

Dementors on horses.

I realize that Harry Potter is basically a ripoff of LOTR, as most fantasy written since it was written is, but it’s my best point of reference for everything in life, so.

Okay, if your name is practically the same as the big evil guy, I feel like it should be a hint that you, too, are a big evil guy. Saruman, I am looking at you, dude. You were born to be very evil, and you didn’t even need to sit on that super creepy big black throne to prove it, though the fact that you did that anyway just proves that you’re one of the super dramatic big evil guys. Good for you.

It's interesting that, typically, in these sorts of books, people use magic to have physical fights. They're just throwing people around, but using magic instead of muscles. If they'd just hit the gym more often they wouldn't even need the magic.

I say that as a person who absolutely could not throw someone across a room without the use of a lot of magic.

Small dark haired plucky protagonists that look like Daniel Radcliffe should stop having such blind faith in old grey bearded wizards.

Sam yells, "Those wraiths are still out there!" and I heard, "The racists are out there!"

Honestly it would not surprise me to learn that ring wraiths are racist. They seem like the type? You know, malevolent, evil, wear hoods, like to gang up on innocent people and make their lives miserable, undead, probably trying to kill someone you love at any given moment, it makes sense. Also were once in power and are desperate to get it back and failing hard. Also probably living in the white house right now.

Lord Elrond looks like he's about to throw up every time he looks at someone. Anyone. Every person. What happened in his life to make him this extraordinarily bitter person. Is that one of those things the books would tell me?

"I am ready to go home."

-Frodo, with two and a half hours left in the first movie in his trilogy that might as well be entitled Frodo Doesn't Get To Go Home.

I feel like people who say that humanity's greatest downfall is pride are missing some key aspects of our personality, because personally I do not want to rule shit, thanks, and I don't particularly want whatever mystical power that ring holds over other people, it's clearly evil, throw it away please, but also if I were at that meeting I would absolutely want to poke the ring. I don't want to have it, or put it on, I just want to poke it. Curiosity to the point go stupidity is a much more interesting fatal flaw, and a much more accurate one for our species as a whole.

Elrond is hilariously offended to find out people were eavesdropping on his super secret meeting concerning the fate of the world in an open-air pavilion area.

I also believe that Elrond is evil, along with Gandalf, and everyone else, in fact, I trust Sam and everyone else has an agenda. Sam and Frodo. Maybe Merry and Pippin but that is it everyone else is the height of evil and someone should protect these hobbits from the rest of the world.

Why is everyone in every fantasy movie ever so willing and eager to make their last stand?

You know, the first Harry Potter movie was released about a month before the first Lord of the Rings movie, and I'm pretty sure that audiences everywhere that year were getting super tired of watching small dark haired plucky protagonists that look like Daniel Radcliffe be attacked by trolls while their equally plucky though typically more reluctant friends rescue them.

what fresh hell is that minotaur on fire

YOU SHALL NOT PASS has much more gravitas when it's not a mocking parody, I have found.

I was three hours in and decided to actually get some sleep, and finish everything up the next day because they were super peacefully floating down a river on some elven boats and I suspect, from the course of the movie thus far, they were not going to remain peaceful for any longer.

All in all, so far it's not a bad movie. Is my personal opinion. I know the entire world was waiting to hear my judgement on what is arguably the most famous series ever written (that isn't Harry Potter), and I judge it not bad, so far. Shocking that this massive phenomenon that has inspired the adoration of millions is actually good.

[garden-ghoul]

return of the blog, part 6

“I can’t believe I tricked myself into mandatory subheading/blurb things”

THE LAST DEBATE

I’m going to quickly try to guess what they’re debating. It definitely has to do with Aragorn, if only obliquely, because he’s such a hot topic these days. It might be like “should Aragorn reveal himself as the True King??” or it might be like “should we march on Mordor to act as a diversion for Frodo and Sam?” or it might be like “would it make marching on Mordor more likely if Aragorn revealed himself as the True King?” FIND OUT THIS AND MORE UNDER THE CUT.

No debate yet. Legolas and Gimli are off to see their hobbit pals; Gimli wants to berate them for being so much trouble (and hug them) and Legolas... I guess wants to smile benevolently but slightly creepily at them? That’s what he does, right? Anyway I think it’s rather odd that they need to “beg leave to go into the city” (all the fighting’s done, isn’t it? Maybe they’re supposed to help shovel corpses?), and then there’s this great description of how they look together:

Legolas was fair of face beyond the measure of Men, and he sang an elven-song in a clear voice as he walked in the morning; but Gimli stalked beside him, stroking his beard and staring about him.

Legolas is such an airhead, or he just doesn’t care if he annoys anyone by singing. I love him. Gimli is 100% me though, from the fact that he “stalks” to the fact that he is stroking his face and staring. That’s the ghoul aesthetic. I seriously do stalk everywhere. So they meet Prince Dol Amroth and tell him to go take council with Aragorn outside the city. Listen, Aragorn, it’s kind of pointless to pretend you aren’t taking over rulership of the city if you’re just... moving war councils out to wherever you fancy and actually making it more inconvenient for everyone. Like, your symbolic gestures are a little half-baked.

Legolas and Gimli are talking while they walk like, “what IS it about humans?” “well, it’s probably their high reproductive rate.” “oh yeah that makes sense. HEY SEAGULLS. GIMLI DID YOU KNOW.... I GOT A BAD CASE OF THE SEAGAYS...” “:(” Actually here I’m condensing two conversations, like half an hour apart, into one. But in my defense Tolkien really did not make that clear. Legolas tells the hobbits about how they got from the Paths of the Dead to Pelennor. I didn’t find any of it interesting except for this passage:

Pale swords were drawn; but I know not whether their blades would still bite, for the Dead needed no longer any weapon but fear. None would withstand them.

It’s really fun how unclear it is whether they are just Super Scary and people are throwing themselves overboard to get away, or if they actually are exuding a powerful curse of suicide. Metal. Oh also the dead army didn’t even make it to Pelennor. The stolen ships were manned by freed slaves and people from just, around the general region of Lebennin.

NOW we go to the debate at Aragorn’s. Gandalf tells everyone that, as Denethor saw, trying to win against Sauron in outright battle is just completely impossible. So they need some craftier way to beat him! Specifically, they need a way to keep him certain that Minas Tirith currently has the Ring. And they need to empty Mordor of combatants so it will be safer for Sam and Frodo to travel through. I’m looking at the map, and it can’t be more than a week’s walk to Orodruin from Cirith Ungol, if they don’t have to take too many detours. Aragorn and co just need to stall for time. Gandalf’s plan is to do something so incredibly dumb that Sauron will assume “only someone who possesses the Ring would be confident enough to pull a stunt like this!” So they’re going to take about 7000 people and try to assault Mordor. But as Gandalf says, for what they’re doing “there are names among us that are worth more than a thousand mail-clad knights apiece.”

THE BLACK GATE OPENS

Merry is upset that he’s too injured to come on the suicide mission. But Pippin can go! To represent hobbits! Ummm dude Merry is probably more worried about his best friend dying? Maybe? Also weren’t there supposed to be elves eventually. Maybe from Lorien. I’m sure they’re coming. Galadriel has a natural instinct for drama, so they’ll show up at precisely the most dramatic time.

The army rides for Minas Morgul, only to destroy the bridge so nothing bad can come out of it. Because they are goodies two-shoes they also wash off some graffiti on the way. They also regularly shout “ARAGORN IS HERE!” really loudly, just in case it might incite someone to attack them. They look like real boneheads tbh. When they get to the Horrible Nightmare Desert a lot of people just can’t go on because it’s so filled with evil thoughts and they’re just mostly young teens who really don’t belong here and want to go home. So Aragorn sends them to do murders in a more pleasant place, since there’s still plenty of murdering that needs to be done.

Wait sorry one of the features of the desert that was just mentioned is “vomit of the maggot folk of Mordor.” WHAT IS THAT. THE MAGGOT-FOLK? The way that it’s described makes me imagine some kind of enormous burrowing worms, which is FANTASTIC. Please let me meet the maggot-folk of Mordor. Like I know that’s not what maggots do but let a guy dream.

The army comes to the gate of Morannon and they shout “HEY. KILLING US UNPROVOKED IS ILLEGAL. SAURON COME OUT SO WE CAN ARREST YOU.” Sauron tells his thralls to do a really dramatic pause, and then... right... NOW do the drums and trumpets, yes, just like that, this is sick as fuck I bet they’re terrified. Now we’ll send out Ghost Rider (no seriously the Mouth of Sauron is described exactly like Ghost Rider) to taunt them. Ghost Rider is actually a human, a “black Numenorean.” no JOHNALD black Numenoreans are just cool guys who happen to be black. This is an EVIL Numenorean. Hey remember how great he was in the movie? He did this cute dumb smile that was really charming. I remember watching a special explanatory video on how they made the gross open wounds around his mouth, I am enormously fond of him. THIS version is more obviously just a normal person. Aragorn like, stares at him sort of menacingly and he cringes and goes “I’m an AMBASSADOR you’re not allowed to hurt me!!”

Then he holds up Frodo’s personal effects and says “Hey we are going to torture him until he is a horrible thing... UNLESS you cede all lands east of the Anduin to Sauron. This is some classic early WWII Nazi fuckery, honestly. First the lands east of the Anduin, then the entire south, then they’ll be spreading into Arnor, and when they’ve got the elves cut off and surrounded they kill them too. But Gandalf is like “uh hold on there is literally no single person who is worth that much. Fuck off.” And he takes Sam’s sword and the mithril coat and whacks Ghost Rider in the face with wizard light. All very badass, until the gate opens and 80,000 orcs and Easterlings come out. Everyone points their pointy things outward. Pippin gets ready to die, hopefully ASAP so he won’t have to see too much carnage. He misses Merry. He kills one guy and almost immediately gets sat on by a troll, and passes out. 

Also, eagles?