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persistent-peach · 3 years ago

Text

grenouille

Summary: What do you mean fake dating someone just to piss off your ex is a bad idea?

Pairing: Porco Galliard x FemReader (Modern AU), ex Floch Forster x FemReader

Warnings & Content: language, alcohol consumption, mentions of emotional abuse, mentions of cheating, suggestive language (only if you squint), fake dating, somewhat of a rushed ending because i'm way too tired at this point to second guess my brain and its decisions

Word Count: 8.7k

A/N: me? Getting out of my cave and coming back to write a massive one-shot after two years of absolutely nothing because I am a whore for Porco Galliard? More likely than you think

“Do you really think he’s going to be there, though?”

You look up from your wine glass to Sasha with a frown. Her expression seems too calculated to be simply brushed off as bored. You can tell she’s studying your reactions, careful not to trigger any bad memories, trying to keep you in the joking mood. Even if it’s a result of your petty musings.

“Of course he’s going to be there, Sash. What are you on about?” You scoff. “He was there last time. I know that motherfucker too well to know he’s already planning to ‘bump’ into me with that little girlfriend of his just to rub it in my face.”

It’s definitely a curse and a blessing to know your ex so well that even after nearly a year from breaking up, you can still predict his every move. You made the mistake of underestimating him once and the asshole appeared next to you at your favourite festival like a fucking nightmare come to life.

You know that one year later you shouldn’t be thinking about him, shouldn’t be making contingency plans just to be prepared for the possibility of seeing him yet again. But you said that last time and were left with a pathetic excuse of a manchild sobbing in your arms that he misses you and loves you, even though he had a girlfriend at home. Even though you’ve broken up with him a few months prior after years of manipulation and disrespect and cheating.

You are over him, you truly are. What you are still dealing with is the aftermath – the trauma responses and the inability to hold a relationship for more than a few weeks just because you immediately see the red flags from a mile away.

And maybe you’re just a tiny bit petty. Just a sliver of petty, because how is it fair that one year later, he’s “happily in love” with someone else and you are still trying to patch yourself back together? And maybe you feel like you should have your revenge one way or another. You’re not a vengeful person, you don’t even like conflict, but for fuck’s sake, wouldn’t it be nice, wouldn’t it be just dandy to give him just a little bit of his own medicine?

“I have an idea.” You say, gears turning in your head, that Grinch grin taking over all of your features.

Sasha looks worried for a second, but this girl is just as petty as you are, if not even more, so it soon turns into a mirrored grin. She’ll enable all of your bullshit, just so she can revel in the hilarity of it all. Mikasa would both kill you if she were here, but fortunately she is not, and you can both make stupid plans while wine drunk at 12 am on a Friday night.

“I already love and hate this.”

“No, no, listen here. It’s the perfect plan. Are you listening?” You giggle and boop her nose, making her nearly fall back on the floor.

“I’m all ears, baby. Hit me!”

“So we go to the festival, right.” You start, counting the steps on your fingers and Sasha nods. There’s no need to explain the first step – your group of friends hasn’t missed any winter or summer edition of this festival for the past three years. “We bump into He Who Shall Not Be Named. I am fake dating someone who thinks I hung the moon. Bam! It pisses Darth Vader off so badly he finally leaves me alone.”

You’re still grinning, glee written all over your face (it might just be the wine though). However, Sasha looks confused (it might just be the wine though). She pours more wine in your glasses, trying to process the plan you came up with. Truthfully, she was expecting something more…sparkly, chaotic, dumb. You have the potential to ensue chaos and this is what you come up with? You can feel the disappointment radiating off of her, but you let her stew in the idea for a couple of minutes – she’ll come around (or maybe you’re just too drunk to see the idiocy of it all).

“Ok, ok,” Sasha starts, musing out loud. “But why do you have to fake date someone?”

“Sash, we both know I can’t even hold down a friend with benefits because I’m too fucking picky.”

“You’re not picky, Y/N. You finally have standards.”

“Potayto, potahto.” You roll your eyes. “Even if I were to start date dating someone, it would be too late at this point. The festival is in nearly three months. No one will fall in love with me so badly in such a short period of time he’ll look like he’ll pop down on one knee right then and there.”

“So you’re telling me you want to fake date someone just for that one evening in the entirely hypothetical possibility that your narcissistic ex will stalk you again and you want him to see you be in this amazing, lovely, healthy relationship with someone that is nothing like him and actually respects you and adores you the way that you deserve just so you can show that dickhead what he was supposed to be doing in the first place? And that he finally gets it through his thick skull that you will never ever get back with him, because there’s now someone who loves you so much more, he’s like a puppy in your presence? Because there’s nothing that pisses that asshole off more than someone who is better than him at something he thinks he’s the best at?”

You clap your hands in excitement and giggle at Sasha, who was so absorbed in her train of thought tirade, her own expression turns from confusion to absolute glee, as she grasped the concept.

“Exactly!”

“This is so fucked up.” Sasha whispers, but then that shit eating grin is back on her face. “Do it.”

Finding someone in less than three months who’d be willing to go along with your stupid plan seems more impossible than being able to afford an apartment. Even with the help of all of your friends, you’ve nearly given up on the whole thing.

Mikasa was, of course, disappointed in your immaturity and vowed never to let you and Sasha drink by yourselves ever again, so evidently she refused to initially take part in any of it, before she came around and started looking through her friends and family list. Since you’ve known her for nearly 20 years and so all of her friends were also yours and her family practically adopted you, you both knew it would be a futile attempt. Eren and Annie were impressed by the ingenuity, but they simply removed themselves from the whole thing by declaring that “you’re dumb, it’s a stupid idea, leave me out of it. Good luck though!”. Armin even suggested one board game night that he’ll play the part if you’d like, but they all turned to him in various states of amusement and confusion.

“Armin, sweetheart, I appreciate it, but even if no one knew you’re married to Annie, everyone would figure out how whipped you are the moment you look at her.” You finally quipped after laughing hysterically for five minutes straight.

Connie, however, proved to be the most useful. He wriggled his way into your plan like the mastermind he is and proposed installing Tinder as a last resort.

“Con, babe, she had Tinder. She only met creeps on there.” Sasha chides her boyfriend with a shake of her head.

“Yeah, but that time she was actively trying to find a boyfriend.” Connie point out. “You know, trying to persuade someone to actually like her for her, which she obviously failed – ”

“Hey!” You shout from the kitchen, half listening in on the conversation as you’re cooking dinner.

“Because it’s Tinder!” He shouts back, annoyed with the interruption. “This time around, she’ll make it clear in her bio that she’s only there for this reason only and maybe she’ll eventually find someone. You know, because guys are dumb and need to be explained stuff like they are five.”

“I don’t know…” You huff, concentrated on not cutting your fingers.

You are one step away from calling the whole charade quits – the festival will take place in less than two months now and it’s obvious by now that all of your friends and their friends are either in relationships or married. At this point, you might just admit defeat and plan to just get drunk and ignore everyone there besides your friends. Maybe even your friends. There, direct your pettiness to the people who actually love and care about you.

“No, listen, it actually makes sense.” Sasha says as they both make their way into the kitchen to set up the table. “This way, the commitment-phobes won’t be afraid to interact with you because you don’t want a relationship out of them. And the creeps will just leave you alone because you’re making it clear you won’t be a one-night stand.”

“What if there’s a good guy there?!”

“Y/N,” Connie raises an eyebrow. “It’s Tinder. There are only idiots and creeps on there.”

Porco Galliard is everything you hate. He’s mean and annoying and condescending and passive aggressive. He likes to pick on you and make fun of you and doesn’t know how to talk to you without calling you a “clown”, a “dumbass” or “a big fucking baby”. Porco Galliard is also the perfect fake boyfriend you could’ve asked for. Not only is he so fucking attractive it makes you scream (you literally screamed in your pillow for ten minutes straight after you got home that first time you met), he’s even pettier than you are. He was so on board with the idea that he messaged you five seconds after matching with you on Tinder.

How about you find an engagement ring as well and we pretend I just proposed to you?

Motherfucker will be so pissed you said yes to someone else and not him

You appreciated the fact that he didn’t judge you like others did, or told you you’re pathetic and you should just get over your ex and get on with your life. Porco understood that you were over him as a person, you just weren’t over all the hurt he’s put you through. He understood that you just wanted the sweet taste of revenge, just for closure – or maybe just for the sick sake of it. It didn’t matter to him, he thought it’d be funny and that was enough for him.

Porco has become a fixture in your life so quickly, it felt like being hit by a tornado. One day you’re mindlessly swiping Tinder bored out of your mind on your lunch break, and the next you’re texting him constantly. In less than two months, he’s become the first person you talk to in the morning and the last to say good night to.

As irritating and annoying as he is, he’s funny and silly and a whole ass idiot. He calls you out on your bullshit without batting an eye and he’s given you advice and support when you were at your wits’ end because of your job. One moment he’d tell you “God wanted to spice the earth with jokes so he made you” and then the next he’d get worked up over you agreeing with him when you’re feeling especially self-deprecating. He also has superb taste in music, which is great, because you now have ten new playlists that you can choose from depending on your mood. It doesn’t hurt that he’s also so fucking smart, it blows you away every single day.

Porco Galliard is a menace to your life, but you’re so used to him by now that you had no qualms in introducing him to your friends. Mind you, your friends who’ve only ever met your dickhead of an ex, but never anyone else. And yet, you didn’t even have to think about it with Porco. You just shot him a text one evening that you’re cooking for your friends and you’re already tired of the “marital disagreements taking place in your whorehouse” and if he could “please, for the love of Christ, save me from this personal hell”.

He showed up 20 minutes later, two bottles of tequila in his hands and a shit eating grin on his face, without even bothering to reply to your texts.

“Heard you called for your knight in shining armour, dipshit.” He says, kissing your forehead and making his way around you and towards your living room.

Now, all of your friends know of Porco. Connie and Eren even talked to him one time when they came over to fix your new bookshelves and he decided to FaceTime you out of the blue, but none of them actually met him. Which was not surprising in the least. What surprised them is that Porco Galliard is all of a sudden in your living room, acting as if he’s more than familiar with the place and saying hi to everyone. What is truly shocking, is that you don’t look the least fazed about the whole thing – they know your aversion towards them meeting your boyfriends/crushes/male interests, and yet, this time, you act as if Porco has been here the whole time.

“Y/N?” Armin asks, trying to make sense of the situation.

“Oh yeah, sorry.” You shrug, turning back from your way to the kitchen. “This fuckface is Porco. Porco, you introduce yourself to everyone like you don’t have only two braincells left in your head.”

“Y/N!” Mikasa shouts, outraged.

Porco, however, just rolls his eyes. “Every day you say something stupid and I can feel my will to live slipping.”

“I am not going to entertain that empty brain of yours. Make nice!”

“Y/N!” Mikasa shouts again.

Sasha and Connie are giggling, Eren is straight out laughing. While they might all be wary of this new character in their life, they can’t help but admit it’s quite entertaining to see your snide comments directed at someone else. Not to mention, that it’s refreshing to see Porco holding his own, and even beating you at your own game. Most people would just think you’re rude and disrespectful, others would believe you a straight up asshole. You’re an acquired taste that not everyone tolerates. Porco, however, seems to revel in every single one of your insults, like he’s waiting for them.

“I’m honestly thinking of selling you on eBay.”

“You have a crush on him.” Mikasa deadpans the night before the big day.

Y/N was just explaining her plan for the last time to her best friend on the phone, while Porco was at the gym (“gotta look pumped and ready for you, baby”). You needed a distraction, since you’ve been having jitters for the past couple of days. You didn’t understand why exactly, it’s not like you didn’t anticipate for the moment of seeing your ex again for the past months, and it definitely wasn’t the excitement for the festival. That’s just a subdued buzz in your head, but there are butterflies and it makes you feel giddy and happy and –

“I do not.” You scoff. “He’s mean to me and we both agreed this is just a one time thing. We might stay friends after this, but I know he’s not interested in me in that way in the least.”

“Okay, do you want me to put on my psychologist’s glasses? Should we unpack that entire bullshit that just came out of your mouth?”

You can practically hear the way she rolls her eyes. It’s disgusting. Sometimes you wish she didn’t know you this well. But you let her talk, nonetheless, because this is why you called her after all. To help you bring some clarity to your jumbled thoughts.

“He’s not mean to you, he’s abrasive in general. That’s just his personality. We’ve met him and truthfully, you’re the only one out of us he was the most aggressive towards. I’m putting that one on the fact that he doesn’t know how to cope with the attraction he feels towards you. His first intentions were most probably aligned to the rules you set, that is fake date for one evening, no strings attached – which was a stupid idea in the first place, if I may reiterate. I’d say, based on the way he’s acting around you and the way he’s changed his way of interacting with you lately, he’s feeling insecure and doesn’t want to show it. Plus, I’m betting he hasn’t realised it yet, either.”

There’s silence on both ends of the phone for a long period of time, to the point where Mikasa has to check whether you hung up. You, however, are chewing on your bottom lip, eyes glazed over. Mikasa couldn’t possibly be right. You refuse to let yourself be sucked into the fantasy of Porco actually liking you. You’ve made that mistake before, and you don’t want to get hurt again.

Mikasa might have made a great psychologist, but she’s a lawyer. There’s no way she knows what she’s talking about, right? There’s no way Porco seemed so happy to see you yesterday when he came to pick you up from work because he likes you, right? There’s no way Porco ordered food for you when you couldn’t meet up because he likes you, right? There’s no way he calls you a dumbass with a smile on his face whenever your ADHD kicks in because he likes you, right? Mikasa doesn’t know all the sweet stuff he does for you, she’s only talking from the point of view where he’s being mean. So if she knew how sweet he can be to you, her whole hypothesis would crumble, right?

“Are you still there?”

“Yeah.” You mutter, waking up from your trance.

“I’m not saying I’m right, though.” She tentatively offers, knowing she has to tread lightly now. “I’m just saying that he might like you. I don’t want to give you false hope, because I know how you can throw yourself headfirst into a crush. I think it would be better if you’d just openly discuss it with him. You’re both adults, you can handle that.”

“I can’t talk to him about this now, Mika! How am I supposed to pretend I’m head over heels for him if he rejects me tonight?”

“Not tonight, but you should do it after this whole charade is up. I also don’t think either of you will be pretending.”

Pock

I just said your name!

That’s not my name

That’s the only stupid ass nickname your bird brain could come up with

I’m blocking you

Then who’s going to kiss you and hold you and be all mushy and shit with you all night if you do that, babe?

Ew never call me that ever again, that is disgustin

What? Babe? You don’t like me calling you babe?

What am I supposed to call you tonight then?

I can’t just call you dipshit

Bonehead

Dingbag

You can just call me by my name?

Cue lil nas x

But no, we’re gonna make this believable

How are we going to make it believable if I call you by your name?

Don’t all couples have those disgusting nicknames for each other

What did your ex call you

Babe

How about something French

Why would

You’re gonna call me something like baguette or fromage or some shit like that

Grenouille

You’re not calling me frog!!!!!

But you’re like a frog

A cute frog

Small and stupid

I hate you

Do you really

I specifically remember you drunk last Friday and asking me to talk in French for like half an hour

It’s not like you don’t speak French either!

Yeah, but you have the accent

I’m half French dumbass

Exactly

It’s hot

So you think I’m hot?

Oh shit! Look at the time! I have to walk my refrigerator!

You’re a fucking clown you know that

But fr you should go get ready tho

I’ll pick you up in an hour

Au revoir, ma petite grenouille

I must resist the urge to kill you

Or fuck me

I’d pick the latter

You climb into Porco’s car, careful not to slam the door too hard – last time you did, Porco took you on the highway and drove so much past the speed limit you punched him for five minutes straight afterwards. He didn’t even react to your punches, he just stood there, rolling his eyes. You, however, swore to never hurt his precious car again, or you’re sure he’s going to hurt you.

“You look like a whore.” You deadpan when your eyes land on him.

He’s wearing his dark jeans and most probably those black sneakers he was so excited about buying last week. His hair is slicked back as always, his undercut freshly trimmed, but his biceps are in front view and you can even see his goddamned ribs because he’s wearing a white fucking muscle tank top. You hate him. You truly, genuinely, from the bottom of your heart hate him in this moment, because how the fuck is your brain supposed to be ready to bring your ex to the ground when you see this? When this dipshit will be standing next to you and all you will think about is muscles and skin and veins and a peek of that stupid tattoo on his ribcage?

“Are you slutshaming me, you dweeb?” He laughs, eyes never leaving the road.

You’re definitely not paying more attention to the way his forearms look extended towards the wheel than to what new word he’s using to insult you. Nope.

“No, I just thought I’ll be the only one who’s dressed inappropriately.”

“Y/N, we’re going to a festival in July when it’s hot as Satan’s asscrack. Plus you can always wear whatever you want.”

“Pock, you do realise I’m a woman and that last statement makes zero sense to me, right?”

“Don’t worry, darling.” He smirks. “I know how to fight. Actually, let them even dare look in your direction for too long. I was wating for a reason to punch someone.”

“You can’t just punch someone because they’re looking at me, Galliard!” You yell.

“I can if it makes you uncomfortable. Plus, you’re mine so they should know their place.”

Your breath hitches in your throat. That sentence shouldn’t make your butterflies swirl in the pit of your stomach. It shouldn’t bring forth images of Porco kissing you and holding your hand and playing with your hair and him hovering over you as he’s thrusting – nOPE.

“You mean in this made-up scenario, right?” You say, trying to remind yourself that this is fake. This is all fake.

“Yeah.” He mutters. You’re not sure whether he’s squinting his eyes in concentration or something else. “You’re mine in this made-up scenario, sweetheart.”

The night is uneventful in the sense that you’ve somehow managed not to bump into anyone you’d like to vomit on. You don’t know whether he just isn’t there tonight or he simply hasn’t had the chance to find you. In all honesty, you have been dancing far away from the bars for a reason and you’re pretty sure he wouldn’t venture directly into the thickest parts of the crowds. Maybe he’s simply not seeking you out.

You, however, are having the time of your life. It’s not only because you’re slightly drunk, Porco having made sure to switch you on water whenever he saw you’d start derailing into a hot mess. But you’re surrounded by the people you love, laughing and screaming with them on music you all grew up on. Simply put, you’re enjoying yourself and you’ve started to forget your stupid plan. It’s easy to do so when Porco puts his hands on your waist or on your hips to dance with you, or when he kisses your forehead in passing, or when he’d hug you with no apparent reason. At first, you thought he’s initiating contact because he might see someone making their way towards you and you’d instantly tense under his touch. You’d prepare for the worst, ready to play a charade in front of someone you realise you don’t actually want to see after all. But after a few hours, you’ve started to relax and welcome every lingering hand on your body or his lips on your skin.

It's nearing midnight and you decide to take a break at one of the tables set in front of the food trucks. A small part of your brain is telling you to be on high alert, since you’re in the open now, but it’s easy to dismiss it when Sasha comes back with three hot dogs and two sides of fries. Connie and Armin are close behind her with more food in tow and you realise just how hungry all the dancing and alcohol have made you.

“Where’s Pock?” You ask Annie when she makes her own appearance with a few bottles of beer in her hands.

“He was right behind me. Maybe he went to take a piss.” She shrugs.

You look around the huge field, but since it’s filled with people and strobing lights and music drowns out everything, it’s hard to distinguish anyone. You shake your head – you’re being crazy, maybe he did just go to the bathroom. You told him where you’re going when you split up from the dance area, he’ll find his way back to you.

But then fifteen minutes pass and you’ve finished a burger and a whole bottle of beer and he’s still nowhere to be seen. What if he found some chick who he hit it off with and decided to ditch this whole idiocy?

“Hey!” Eren shouts over the music, bumping his shoulder with yours. “Relax. Just send him a text, maybe he got lost.”

You nod. Your overthinking habit will be the end of you someday. Eren is right. There’s an easy way out of your spiralling thoughts and you haven’t even considered it.

Wya galliard

His reply comes a few seconds later. You exhale in relief, you really were being crazy.

Awwww did you miss me, baby?

Fuck that. He can go fuck himself. You’re about to go look for your friends who’ve disappeared back into the dancing mass when your phone vibrates in your hand again.

Look behind you, you dumbass

You turn around, only to be faced with a huge ass chest. He’s towering over you, a grin plastered all over his face. He looks so smug, so cocky, so full of his damn self you want to punch him. Or kiss him. Whatever would wipe that smirk off.

You open your mouth to demand answers and his exact location for the past fifteen minutes, as if you definitely aren’t drunk off your ass right now and most obviously aren’t being crazy and dramatic. Truth be told, you did miss him. It was weird not having him around, even if it was for such a short period of time. But before you can say anything, he takes a flower crown from where he was hiding it behind his back, and gingerly places it on your head.

“I thought you left.” You mumble, bunching his top in your fists. At this point, you don’t really care whether he’ll be mad about it. You can just blame it on the alcohol.

“I’m sorry.” He chuckles and covers your hands with his. “I realise now you had too much time to think and that small brain of yours can’t yet comprehend words like an adult.”

“Fuck you, Galliard.”

“Not until you get it into that thick skull of yours that I won’t be leaving you.”

He pushes a finger into your forehead, but you’re more confused by his words, than anything else. And then suddenly, his whole demeanour changes. He snakes his hands around your waist and places his head close to yours. It might look like he’s kissing your neck, but you can feel how tense he feels around you.

“Your ex is Floch fucking Forster?”

“Yeah.”

He prods you to place your arms around his shoulders, and you do it slowly. You’re confused as to what could have brought this about. You’re not surprised he found out your ex’s name – maybe Eren and Connie were shit talking him again and let the name slip. It’s not like his name is a state secret, you just hate saying it. But you don’t understand why he seems on edge all of a sudden, holding you a bit too tightly, his frown even deeper, his scowl even more disgusted.

“Wait, you know him?” You say, when the only possible explanation finally clicks into your alcohol addled mind.

“Yeah, I fucking know him. You should’ve told me it’s him!”

“I told you what he looks like! How was I supposed to know you know him?”

“Do you know how little ‘creepy smile and a fucking scumbag’ narrows it down for me, honey?” He sneers. “I used to play professional rugby, that was like half of my team.”

You lean back, forcing him to let go of you. You can’t breathe from how hard he’s squeezing you to his chest. But he keeps his hands firmly planted on your waist, far enough to give you some semblance of space, but close enough so you can still smell the beer on his breath. Porco is angry, but apparently not at you. He’s looking at something behind you, and sure, he has a fucking resting bitch face, but it’s nothing compared to thisscowl.

You’re about to turn around, already having an inkling of what might have happened, when he pulls you back into him. Porco rests his forehead on yours, bringing one of his large hands to the back of your head, keeping you in place. You’re so close at the moment, you feel like you could mould into one person.

“I swear to fuck, I’m going to kill this motherfucker.” He kisses your cheek and you can feel his maniacal grin on your skin. What the fuck is going on. “You trust me, yes?”

“Yeah?” You reply, unsure at the moment whether you should be scared or excited by this whole new Porco.

“Good. Because it’s gametime, baby.”

He slowly releases you from his grip, and you can read the encouragement in his golden eyes. He curtly nods, enough just for you to notice. You take a deep breath in, already feeling your resolve slipping, but then he’s taking your hand in his, interlacing your fingers together and you feel like you could look the devil in the eye and spit in his face. Which you’re just about to do, really.

“Y/N?”

His voice sounds so familiar and yet so strange. Funny how time can alter someone in ways that you both recognise and completely forget someone you’ve spent years with. He’s still his lean self, yet bigger and smaller at the same time – like he’s put on even more muscles, but looks weaker, more diminished. Or maybe he’s not holding the power over you anymore. His hair is longer and he’s lost some of that baby fat, but he’s wearing that shirt you bought him for his 23rd birthday. He might seem surprised to see you – and yet you know how he’s calculating all the possible outcomes of this interaction at the speed of light in his mind right now.

And then his eyes land on Porco. Porco, whose arm is around your waist now, Porco who has just kissed your temple and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, Porco who hands you his beer bottle, as if sharing drinks is the most normal thing to do, Porco who pulls you even closer to him when Floch takes a step toward you.

You watch the way Floch assesses the whole situation – see his eyes land from your flower crown, to Porco’s arm, to your own in the back pocket of his jeans. You see the way his façade cracks for just a second, the way his anger slips to the surface. And you have to remind yourself that even though that anger might be directed at you, he can’t do anything to you anymore. You have Porco, and most importantly, you’re not his puppet anymore – you can stand up for yourself now.

“Galliard.” Floch says instead of all the insults you were expecting. “What are you doing here?”

“What, Forster?” Porco laughs nonchalantly. “Am I not allowed to enjoy the festival with my girlfriend?”

And there – the bomb has dropped. And it’s the first time in your life you see Floch speechless. You see the way his mind shuts down at the complete impossibility of this situation, even though the show you were putting on should’ve been enough. As if he needed Porco’s verbal confirmation to process what he’s seeing.

“Your girlfriend?” The man scoffs, having regained his ability to spit bullshit in no time. Gotta give it to him, he sure believes he’s the only one in this world whose truth matters. “Y/N, what is this guy saying?”

“I don’t exactly understand what you’re asking, Floch.” You say through gritted teeth.

“Come on, Y/N, you can’t seriously tell me you’re dating Galliard.”

Floch laughs and the sound grates on your brain. You’re not sure whether you’re getting worked up over seeing him and having all the memories resurface or the fact that he doesn’t believe someone would actually want to date you. Maybe it’s both. Or maybe it’s the way he says Porco’s name that rubs you the wrong way. You figured that there’s some kind of beef between them, but like hell will you let him disrespect Porco.

“Oh, so you’ve lost the ability to understand English?” Porco interjects, before you have the chance to even open your mouth. He can feel the way you’re vibrating with tension right now, and he’s not sure whether he’ll let you claw Forster’s eyes out while he’s cheering you on or punch him to a pulp himself.

“Pock.” You say, placing a hand on his chest.

Floch has taken yet another step forward just as Porco did, but you’re not about to be witness to a blood bath. At least not in the literal sense, if you can help it. Porco, thankfully, looks down at you and simply clenches his jaw. You wanted this fight, he’ll let you have it.

“Yes, Floch, I am dating Porco.” You say, turning your cold gaze towards your ex. “I have been happy in this relationship for nearly six months and he hasn’t been anything but kind, loving and respectful towards me. He’s my best friend and I honestly can say I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Now if you could please leave us alone, I’d like to get back to dancing.”

You can feel Porco’s stare on you, but you do your best to keep your expression even. You haven’t discussed any of the possible things you might say to Floch when you’d see him, simply because you didn’t know what you’ll say in the moment. Maybe it shouldn’t have been anything along the lines of ‘for the rest of your life’ though. However, you don’t want to let any uncertainty show, any insecurity you might have on how this whole shitshow will play out after Floch leaves, any fear that you’ll never get to see Porco ever again after tonight.

Floch, on the other hand, does nothing more than to roll his eyes. You know what he’s thinking: he still believes you’ll never find anyone better than him. Still believes you’ve broken up with the only person in the world who would give you the time of day. As if you should’ve been grateful beyond belief that such an amazing human being deigned to look down upon you.

“Spare me the crap, Y/N. We all know he’s probably just fucking you because he’s bored. You always romanticise every little shit in your life.”

“Listen here, you waste of human space.” Porco bites, ignoring the way you’re tugging at his shirt. He’s had enough and no matter how much he’d want to let you win this, he can’t help but to speak his own mind. “The fact that you couldn’t see what a brilliant person Y/N is and you’re now bitter and mad she broke up with you is your own fucking problem. I’m not fucking her because I’m bored, we are fucking because we love each other. Last time I heard, you were fucking Yelena at graduation when you apparently had a sweet and loving girlfriend waiting for you at home, so you spare me the condescending tone.”

“I didn’t fuck her at graduation, you asshole. My parents were there!” Floch spits as he’s approaching Porco. They’re now one punch away from each other, which only makes Porco step in front of you.

“Oh right, I’m sorry. I must have her confused with all the girls you’ve fucked at every single party you’ve attended for three years in college.” Porco sneers, nostrils flaring.

“ENOUGH!” You scream, all the pent-up rage pouring out of you in waves. A few party goers turn towards you in confusion, but they simply disappear in another direction, too afraid to be part of what looks like a fight in the making. Porco and Floch look down at you, as if surprised you’re still here. You don’t care. You truly, honestly, genuinely do not give a shit about anyone in this moment.

“Enough!” You sneer again. “I do not give one single fuck who you’ve fucked or haven’t fucked when we were together, Floch. All I can say, from the bottom of my heart, is that I regret ever loving you. I don’t regret meeting you, I regret ever loving you. You disgust me. You’ve manipulated me into being the perfect little girlfriend for you by chipping away at my personality every single day. Every single day. Slowly and diligently. You’ve belittled me every step of the way and disrespected me as if I were a shit stain on the sole of your shoe. You thoroughly and completely disgust me and I wish I will never have to set my eyes upon you for the rest of my life. I would wish you a happy life, but that would be a fucking lie. I hope you get to suffer at least an ounce of what you’ve put me through for years just to see what a wretched little creature you actually are.”

You turn on your heel and walk away towards the exit. You’re exhausted and all you want to do is curl into a ball in your bed and cry your stupid heart out. Floch can go fuck himself, you truly meant every word you said to him, and as cathartic as that was, you’re still not sure how much good will do to you in the long run. One thing you’re certain of: playing pretend at girlfriend and boyfriend with Porco was a fucking mistake.

[01:13] wya

[01:15] hey dipshit you just disappeared where are you

[01:16] are you with everyone else?

[01:18] I just bumped into sasha and she said she hasn’t seen you

[01:19] Y/N please I’m getting worried where are you

[2 missed calls]

[01:23] eren texted me and said they took you to their place for the night

[01:24] are you ok?

[01:24] please just talk to me

[3 missed calls]

[01:25] Y/N please

[1 missed call]

[01:46] Mikasa called me

[01:46] I’m so sorry

[01:47] Y/N, sweetheart, please I’m so sorry I didn’t realise what an absolute dickhead I was being

[01:48] I’ve met forster in college and he was a complete douchebag even then

[01:49] I had no idea he was your ex and I went like a fucking bull in a china shop into that whole situation bc I’ve hated him for so long

[01:50] I’ll explain everything, just please answer me

[02:13] please I just need to know you’re safe at least

[02:15] I’m staying over at Mika’s and Eren’s tonight. I’m safe.

[02:15] ok good I’m glad

[02:15] I’ll talk to you tomorrow and explain everything, ok?

[02:16] I’m sorry

You wake up at 8 in the morning the next day. You’ve barely slept, having either cried in Mikasa’s arms or silently sobbed into your pillow the whole night. You should’ve known the whole idea was a mistake, and even Mikasa had the mercy to spare you the ‘I told you so’ speech. You just wanted to go home and curl back into your bed. You didn’t have the energy to talk about it anymore and you definitely didn’t have the mental capacity to watch Mikasa and Eren interact as a whole ass married couple today. So you’ve prepared the coffee pot for the two of them for when they wake up and sent Mikasa a quick text that you went home, before leaving.

The already suffocating air does nothing to your mood and you quicken your pace. You’ve never felt more grateful than now that your friends live only five blocks away. The moment you step out of the elevator, however, you’re faced with an image you couldn’t have predicted even if you had a crystal ball, a tarot deck and a fistful of incense. Porco is leaning on the wall next to your door, two coffee cups in his hands. He straightens up when he sees you and for a second you don’t know how to react.

“What are you doing here, Porco?” You finally sigh, and move to unlock your door.

“Mikasa sent me a text that you’re on your way home so I brought you coffee.”

You let him inside, although all the time wondering whether it wouldn’t just be easier if you’d just lock the door in his face. He follows you to the living room, where you curl yourself into a ball on your couch. Porco just places the coffee on the table and sits down, close enough so your feet would touch his thigh.

“You live half an hour away by car.” You mutter, refusing to look up at him.

“I drove here last night after I sobered up.”

“Did you just stand next to my door like a fucking creep all night?” You can feel the rage boiling to the surface yet again. You watch him nearly placing his hand on your calf in appeasement – he’d do that whenever you’d start getting agitated, but thankfully he doesn’t this time. You’d have probably just kicked him out if he did.

“No, I waited in the car. And when Mikasa told me you’d be coming home, I went to that coffeehouse around the corner you like and bought you coffee. Then that nice lady on the 7thfloor let me in the building when she was leaving to go to the market.”

“You know an awful lot about my neighbours.” You mumble, but at least you’ve sat up and picked up your cup, now that you know it’s not poisoned.

“I’ve been here enough times to meet some of them.” He smiles. “And she told me she’s going to the market. She also asked me to take care of you.” He adds lowly, looking at you.

It’s weird seeing Porco so serious and sad at the same time. It’s weird not calling you some shitty name every three sentences. And talking to you like you’re made of glass. You don’t like pity. And you are still filled with rage so no wonder you’re extra irrational today.

“Why would you take care of me, Porco? Do you think I’m such a damsel in distress that I can’t take care of my own fucking self? Do you think I’m so weak and stupid I can’t function without someone else taking decisions for me?”

“I think you should eat something and go back to sleep.”

“For fuck’s sake, Galliard! Why the fuck are you here?” You shout, fed up with his whole behaviour.

You want old Porco back, as much as you hate to admit it. You want funny and mean Porco back, who doesn’t beat around the bush and would tell you you’re an idiot, without a second thought. You want Porco who always tell you the truth. You don’t like this version of Porco. You want your Porco.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N!” He shouts back. There he is. “D’you wanna know why I’m here? I’m here because I wanted to make sure you’re ok. I wanted to make sure you eat and drink some water and you’re not crying in a puddle on the floor. I wanted to hold you in my arms and apologise for putting my foot in my mouth last night like a dickhead because I was too blinded by my animosity towards Forster to realise that was your battle to fight. I’m here because I wanted to say sorry I agreed to this whole stupid ass plan in the first place because I didn’t realise it wouldn’t change anything and nothing good will come out of it. I wanted to come here and tell you that I don’t want to fake date you, I want to actually date you and I want to call you mine for real, and not just pretend.”

Porco is breathing heavily at this point and there’s a few strands of his gelled back hair that fell into his face. He’s looking at you, expecting an answer that doesn’t seem to come. You’re still holding your coffee cup, and you did want to hear him say what he’s actually thinking, but you sure as hell did not expect this.

“Right.” He mutters, pushing back his hair. “I’ll get going then.”

“What the fuck are you on about, Galliard? Sit the fuck down.” You bark.

The shock on his face is priceless, and you’d seriously give up an arm to be able to bottle it up and see it every time it strikes your fancy. But what’s important is that your aggression has its desired effect and he sits back down. You take one of his hands in yours and sigh for what feels like the hundredth time today. All before 9 am and with no coffee in your system.

“Porco…” You start, but have no idea what else to say.

“Yeah?” He tries prodding you to continue.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m well aware of that, you clown.” Porco rolls his eyes. “You have to be more specific as to the reason why.”

“I’m not good with words.” You mutter.

“You were amazing with words last night, honey.”

You both flinch at the memory. Neither of you wants to think about the altercation with Floch. Least of all you.

“’m sorry. I’ll just shut up.”

“Yeah, I think that’s for the best, Galliard.” You sigh. “The whole thing was a mistake, yeah. I’m happy it happened though for two reasons. One, I realised I needed that closure to finally move on with my life. And two, it brought me you.”

Porco squeezes your hand. You look at each other in silence and stay like that for too many minutes to count, until you let out an involuntary yawn, making Porco chuckle. He sends you off to take a shower, because “in all honesty, you’re stinky. I have no idea how Mikasa let you sleep in her guest bedroom without forcing you to clean yourself with bleach first”. You want to complain, but the moment the warm water hits your body, you sag into the feeling of all your worries and sadness being washed away.

As you get out of the bathroom and watch Porco put a sandwich on a plate, you realise you’re…calm. Maybe not happy entirely, but there are no dark clouds on the horizon. You’re simply here, with Porco in your kitchen as he softly hums something familiar under his breath, not caring about what your next step should be. Just living.

He doesn’t notice you until your arms snake around his torso, as you pull him towards you, leaning your head in the space between his shoulder blades. He stops wiping the counter and places a hand over yours. You stay like that in silence, yet again, until he brings your fingertips to his mouth and kisses each and every one of them.

“I think I love you.” He whispers and if it weren’t for the vibrations under your cheek, you could’ve sworn you dreamt it.

Your breath hitches in your throat, unsure of whether you were supposed to hear that or not. Porco turns around and pulls you back into him by your hips, as he leans on the counter. He’s smiling and it’s such a rare sight, you almost forget his last words.

“I’m sure you heard me, dumbass.” He chuckles.

“Oh, I thought you were talking to the coffee pot again.” You grin.

“Stop deflecting talking about feelings with jokes, you fuck.”

“You better get used to it, dummy. That’s all you’re gonna get from now on. Bad jokes and – “

Porco cuts off your next words by pressing his lips to yours. It’s slow and easy as breathing. It’s tender and sweet like the taste of coffee on his tongue. It’s the smile you can feel against your mouth and it’s the quick pecks that keep coming, even after you stop for air. It’s the way he looks down at you as if you’ve hung the moon.

“Uh – “ You start, momentarily forgetting words, until you settle on the easiest, with a smile. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“You’re so pretty.”

“Shit, baby.” He laughs. “If I knew I had to kiss you to finally compliment me I would’ve done it sooner.”

“Nevermind, you look like a fucking troll.”

“I hate you so much.”

“You told me you love me. Too late, bitch, you’re stuck with me now.”

“What’s the return policy? I’d like a refund.”

“Do you want a refund on my love?” You pout and there – that is the look you’d give an arm to bottle up and see every single day for the rest of your life. That completely dazed look when he hears you say, “I love you too, Pock.”

So I’ve been thinking

Oh no

Did it hurt your brain? Are you ok? Should I call an ambulance?

You know, one of these days I’ll just call child protection services and ask them to take you away

Who you gonna fuck then

Eren

He’s hot as fuck

Wow no hesitation

That man’s ridiculously hot and you know it

ANYWAY

It’s ok dipshit, no need to get jealous

You’re the only one I want to fuck

ANYWAY????

I wasn’t going to talk about how much I love you jeesh calm tf down you weirdo

Are you going to get to the point one of these days or should I just wait for my menopause to get back to this chat

You’re insufferable

I was thinking we should get fake married

????

Much confusion

Explain

Well, in order to start dating we had to fake date first

So I thought that in order to get married, we’ll have to get fake married first

Brilliant train of thought, Galliard

I am proud of you

We are never having babies

They might inherit your stupidity

I’m cutting off toxic people in my life and you are the first on the list

Is this your way of asking me to marry you?

I’m not gonna ask you to marry me through text you fucking clown

I’m just testing the waters

See what you’re gonna say

What if you’ll say no

And break my heart

Even after two whole ass years of dating and living together

Come home and ask me face to face, you pussy

I’m still at work

Wanna know the answer or not?

Omw

Did you buy me a ring?

Well I didn’t think I’d be proposing TODAY??????

We’re sorry, the number you have texted is unavailable. Please try again when your brain starts functioning again.

You know what

Nevermind

I don’t wanna marry you anymore

POCK, BABY NOOOOO I WAS JOKING

Grenouille

Cute

But small and stupid

I’ll be home in 10

#porco galliard x reader #porco x reader #porco galliard x you #porco x you #porco galliard x y/n #porco x y/n

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wlw-peachylsbn · 4 years ago

Text

the only heaven i'll be sent to (is when I'm alone with you) (bellatrix lestrange x reader)

A/N: Okie dokie, girls and gays! So! This is going to be a sub!Bella fic. Now I know what you all might be thinking, Bella is a dom, but you know what? It's not my fault my brain is so big and sexy, and I'm on a whole new galaxy. Thanks to @bellatrixscurls for inspiring me!!!

We have some praise and degradation, a bit of a choking kink, pet play, a big ass Mommy kink, and like. A shoe kink?

Your quill jumps from one line to the next, not stopping even when your love walks into the room. You're only half done with this essay, and you still need to finish one more after this. Thanks to Bellatrix's interference, you slacked off during the weekend, preferring to share her bed and lounge about. Though, who could blame you?

So deep in thought, you don’t notice Bellatrix as she moves closer to you, heaving a deep sigh.

"Did you need something, Bella?" You tap your quill, still thinking about the right way to form this one sentence.

"Yes, I actually did.” She shrugs, taking a step closer so there's only a sliver of space between you. It's an odd position, really, and you have to crane your head back to gaze at her.

"Yes?" You reach up to tangle your feelings in her curls. When you tug lightly, a shiver runs through her body.

Oh. You pause, looking Bellatrix over shrewdly. Your weekend wasn't just relaxing; you also discovered some wonderful, nasty details about your lover. Specifically, some certain kinks she had.

“Oh, did you want Mommy, sweetheart?” you coo, tugging on her curls again.

Another shiver runs through Bellatrix’s body as she kneels before you, eyes big and soft. You can already tell that she's slipping into her subspace, an experience you both have discussed thoroughly. You haven't acted on it quite yet though, but today might be the perfect time to rectify that.

“That’s right, go get on your knees, darling.” Your hand comes reassuringly down on Bellatrix’s shoulder, pressing her to kneel completely.

God. Bellatrix is absolutely beautiful like this, with her hair wild and a curl in her face, her eyes wide with starry-eyed longing, like she thinks you hold her world up. Of course, you would be lying if you said it didn't arouse you to see Bellatrix on her knees for you, only for you. She's such a dominant, tough personality, which leads people to assume she would be in charge in the bedroom. Sometimes she is, but she also confessed that playing with submission would be incredibly arousing for her. You're the only one she trusts with her secrets, which infuses the scene with more tenderness than you expect.

“Am I doing okay, Mommy?” A whisper, light as air, settles in between the two of you.

You know how deeply Bellatrix needs reassurance. Mainly praise. She didn’t say such a thing in as many words, but you know her. A kind word or a light touch makes her clingy, but praise, full, unrestrained, lengthy praise will make her … well. You don’t know yet, but you can’t wait to find out soon.

“You’re doing amazing, sweetheart, being such a good girl. Just sit there for Mommy, alright? I want you to relax a bit.”

“But, Mommy, I feel fine, I don’t want to��”

“Quiet. Now. Do not question me.” Steel enters your tone just as quickly as Bellatrix whines. She sticks out her bottom lip, scowling in a rather cute manner, you admit. But you wipe away any trace of amusement from your face. “If you act like a brat, you can go back to your room and pout there instead.”

Another scowl, this one deeper, crosses her face, but she grudgingly nods and lowers her eyes. You resume looking at your paper, pretending to work, but your mind races, returning to your little brat at your feet. Should you keep her in suspense for a while longer? Or really draw it out until she pleads?

“Mommy?”

Well, that didn’t take too long at all.

“Yes?” You keep your tone purposefully neutral.

“Are you mad?”

“No, just disappointed.”

Bellatrix pouts. Again. “I hate when you say that.”

“I know, darling, but if you were good, I wouldn’t have to say it so much.”

“ ‘m sorry.”

“What was that?” You raise your eyebrow, not ready to drop the matter yet.

“I’m sorry, Mommy. I just …” Bellatrix has never been one to conceal her feelings. You can see the hesitance warring with want, clear as day, as she ducks her head, avoiding your searching gaze. “I …”

“What is it, honey? You know you can tell me anything.” You lightly grab her chin with your hand, tugging until she’s facing you. “You know I would never judge you.”

“Can you be really Mommy? And make me feel like your little girl again?” Heat blooms in her pale cheeks, and when she hides her face again, you let her. “I just wanna … be good for you. Please?”

The tenderness from earlier returns, and you coo, “Oh, I see now. You want me to tell you what to do? Do you crave my firm hand? My harsh touch? Come now, good girls use their words.”

“I want you to be nice, Mommy. To make me feel really good. But I want you to be mean, too.” To anyone else, Bellatrix’s words would sound like a convoluted mess. And they are, to some extent. But you can always soothe her mind and untangle her web of feelings.

“I see now, darling. Of course, I’ll do that. You just be my good girl and let me take care of everything, alright?”

“Yes, please, thank you, Mommy.” She looks up finally, and you can see the self-awareness leaving her body. There’s no more shame, just that adoring look you aim to see. It’s just you and her. Mommy and baby girl.

“That’s right. You just want to be my perfect little slut, don’t you?”

You watch carefully as Bellatrix gasps, eyes slipping shut as she leans forward. “Yes, Mommy, thank you, Mommy.”

“That’s right, you just sit still and be a good little toy for me.” You hum almost absent-mindedly, reaching to grasp her chin again, turning it this way and that. You appraise her, eyes lingering on her pale throat. Even her neck is beautiful, all exposed skin and deep hollows. “Would you like a collar, darling?” You slowly move your hand as you talk, effectively choking her, though you don’t apply much pressure.

“Oh, Merlin, please, Mommy? Yes, yes,” Bellatrix says, eyes pleading. “I’ll be good.”

“Would you? You want to be my little pet so badly, hmm? I think I’ll arrange for a nice thick collar, a pretty one, too. A dark red, since I know you love that colour so much. What do you think, pet?”

Bellatrix downright whines. She scoots as close as she can, practically sitting on top of your feet. “Please, I want to be your pet, and I want your collar too!”

“Yes, a collar sounds very nice,” you muse. Then you tighten your grip around Bellatrix’s throat a moment later. Her eyes slip shut, her hands reaching to steady herself on your leg. “You’re always my pretty whore that I can use, yes?”

“Always, but can you please touch me now, Mommy? I need you.” She tries a pout again, and although you want to kiss it anyway, you don’t budge.

“I thought you were my toy, though? I don’t recall you having the control here. So be a good little girl and be quiet.”

“But I’m so wet for you, Mommy. I can’t wait any longer.”

You sigh and click your tongue. “Don’t test me again. You’re my pet, remember?”

“Always.”

“But since you want to come so bad …” You cock your head to the side, a smirk forming on your lips.

“Yes, Mommy? I’ll do whatever you say.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.” Her dark eyes are lightened with trust. Complete, absolute trust as she waits patiently for your orders. You could make her do anything, you know that. But you only have one thing in mind.

You extend your shoe, laying it flat on the floor. The confusion that sparks in her eyes is downright adorable. Bellatrix cocks her head to the side, looking very much like a confused pet. “Needy little girls like you don’t deserve my fingers or mouth. If you want to come so bad, you can use my shoe and prove yourself.”

“Mommy?”

In a flash, you lean down, pressing your forehead to hers. Bellatrix’s hands come up around your shoulders, balling your shirt in her fists. She falls silent, taking a moment to breathe as you ask, “Baby? Is everything alright? If you want this to end, you know your safeword.”

“I’m okay, thank you, Mommy. Can we continue, please?”

“Of course, sweet girl.” You press a quick kiss to her forehead before pulling back, falling easily into your role again. “Or should I say, you little brat? I see you, trying to distract me.”

“I didn’t mean to, Mommy. How can I make it up to you?” Bellatrix peers up at you through her eyebrows innocently.

You say nothing, choosing to hold your shoe out again. For the second time today, Bellatrix blushes, a pink hue rising in her cheeks and chest. However, she doesn’t hesitate any longer and straddles your shoe.

It’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen. Honestly. She hitches her skirt up, tossing it behind her with a flick of her wrist, never losing her flair for the dramatics. Her hands caress your thighs, slowly coming down to grip the back of your legs. And finally, she lowers herself onto your shoe, an obscene moan escaping her mouth.

“How does it feel, Bella?”

“Fuck. So good. So good, Mommy,” Bellatrix rasps, head tilting towards the ceiling in blissed-out pleasure.

“Watch your mouth, pet.” You slap her cheek lightly, which draws another choked moan from Bellatrix.

“Sorry, Mommy.” Even as she apologies, her hips rock back and forth.

“Yeah? What are you apologizing for?” You make sure to keep your tone casual and airy, though you can’t help but start to tease her. You flex your shoe upward—but only but an inch or two. The cool material presses against her most sensitive area, drawing another whispered swear.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing, Mommy, I’m sorry, please, please—”

“Aww, is my baby too flustered to talk? Be a good girl and tell me what you need.”

“Mommy, please, I can’t, I need you so bad—” Bellatrix shifts again, and when she meets your gaze, you see tears brimming in her eyes.

You frown, wiping a stray one away. While you hate to see her cry under any circumstances, there’s a small sadistic part of you that roars with heat, wanting to see how long she can withstand your (pleasurable) torture. You stay quiet, thinking about the best move before you say, “Oh, darling. You need to cum that badly? Well, alright, honey. You can have a reward.”

“A reward?”

With great debilitation, you raise your shoe all the way, so it’s firmly pressed against her. You don’t hold back. She moans, her hips rocking even more. “Here’s your reward, baby. But I’m not going to do all the work. If you’re not crying and screaming like a little whore for me, then I won’t fuck you again for a while. So you better thank me, pretty girl, and get to work.”

“Oh, Merlin, thank you, thank you so much.”

“I prefer Mommy, baby, but you’re welcome either way.”

You watch with a smug smile as Bellatrix rubs herself all over your shoe. She moves slowly at first but moves quicker and quicker. Little pants and hitched breaths fill the room.

As she keeps chasing her high, you play with one of her curls, twisting it around your finger. “Soon, I’ll find a perfect collar for you, so everyone knows you belong to me. Then I’ll put a tail in your ass, too, baby girl, and have you kneel for me like a good kitten.”

“Oh, Mommy, yes, I’ll be your good kitten. Merlin, please, fuck me, fill me up.” By this point, Bellatrix is fully in her subspace, all tears and whiny begging that make you want to fuck her harder or wrap her up in your arms. But you go with the former and lean forward, your breath brushing her half-lidded eyelids.

“Hold on tight, sweetheart.”

You start moving your shoe again, flexing it, and dragging it back and forth. This time, you don’t give up on the pressure, instead aiming directly for her most sensitive spots. Your shoe grinds against her clit, causing her to moan.

“Look at you, my pretty darling. Making such a mess, rutting all over my shoe like a bitch in heat.”

“Fuck, Mommy, I’m going to come, please?”

“Go ahead, baby.”

Not a second later, she says, “Thank you, Mommy, coming for you, Mommy—”

Bellatrix’s orgasm is a wonder to witness, and you can only stare, like a galaxy is exploding in front of your very eyes. It comes as a trickle at first, minuscule shudders that shake her once, twice. But as she’s urged on by your whispered praises and hands tugging at her hair, her pleasure turns into a river carrying her away—until her orgasm crashes against her again and again, like a tidal wave threatening to drown her, promising to carry her out to sea forever, to never let her come back to shore.

“Mommy, Mommy!” Tears start to spill down her cheeks, but there’s no sadistic jolt this time. That side of you quietly leaves, replaced with the urge to care and protect.

“I know, baby girl, that’s it, you’re alright.” You keep a firm grasp on her shoulders as she shudders the last of her orgasm on her shoe, then tug her up. She crawls into your lap, tucking her head into the crook of your neck, sniffing. “Shh, darling, you did so well. You were so good, my perfect, good girl. I’m so fucking proud of you.”

“Was I really good?” Timid eyes peek at you from between strands of hair.

You smile, reaching to brush a curl away so you can better see her. “You were perfect.”

“Thank you, Mommy. I really liked everything we did.” Bellatrix sniffs again, pressing closer to you.

You chuckle. “I could tell, baby.” You run your hands up and down her spine, feeling the heat radiating off her. All the while, you keep cooing the sweetest praises and words of devotion into her ear.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, pretty girl?”

“Do you think we can try fisting next weekend?”

A true, genuine laugh escapes you. Oh, Bellatrix has the most unique, one-track mind. “Why don’t you rest up for a bit first, okay? We can talk about it later. Just relax now.”

“M’kay, Mommy, I will.”

Tomorrow, next weekend, the future all stretches before you, eager to be shaped by your hand. Anything you might want to do—and the ideas bloom in your mind—you can. But right now, you’re focused on the lovely, needy, flawed soul in your embrace. It’s you and her against the world.

You start to hum and resume rubbing Bellatrix’s back, allowing her to snuggle closer. Her eyes, though sleepily locked onto you, slowly flutter close. You smile indulgently, whispering, “Mommy’s right here, darling. Shh, go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

#bellatrix lestrange #bellatrix lestrange x reader #bellatrix x reader #bellatrix black #bellatrix black x reader #bellatrix imagine #not sfw #hogwarts

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fandom-imagines-stories · 4 years ago

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Run to You Part One

Derek Morgan x Reader

Words: 2474

Summary: Having been dating for a while, you finally feel comfortable enough to introduce your boyfriend to your daughter, Angelica. Derek takes on the role better than you could have imagined and you start to feel like a family. Then one day, Angelica disappears from a friend’s house and your ex husband starts making demands.

Notes: Hey look it’s another one shot that got turned into a mini series. Whoops. Anyway, Derek Morgan, like Reid, holds a very special place in my heart and I hope you guys enjoy. Let me know what you think!

More Criminal Minds: HERE

You swirled the wine around in your glass, blowing out a long sigh before checking your watch. You’d been sitting there for about twenty minutes, deflecting glances from the waiter and reading the menu over and over again. You were about to call when you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders, the contact nearly making you jump out of your chair. You whirled around, heart pounding and breathing heavy. You sighed with relief when a familiar charming smile greeted you.

“Jesus, Derek, you’re lucky I didn’t pepper-spray you.” You groused, feeling your body gradually calm down. He pressed a quick kiss to your lips.

“Sorry, baby, I got caught up at work.”

“Uhuh.” You coyly turned your head away, pretending to ignore him. He ran his hands up and down your arms, giving you goosebumps.

“I’ll make it up to you…” He coaxed, his breath hot against the skin of your neck. Damn, he was impossible to be mad at.

“You’d better.” You surrendered to another kiss before he sat down across from you.

While you kept up your usual cool and collected appearance, on the inside you were sweating like a pig. Tonight was the night. Usually, on nights like tonight, you would get either dumped or ghosted. Most of the time it was both. But you had a feeling, a desperate hope, that Derek was different.

“Earth to Y/N.” Derek laughed. You hadn’t realized that you had spaced off. He reached across the table and put his hand on yours. “Where’s your head at, sweetheart?”

“I, uh,” You laughed nervously, “I was thinking we could go back to my place after this.” The biggest smirk spread across his face.

“That’s what you’re getting antsy about?” He chuckled, shaking his head. The waiter came back with the check and, though he offered, you took this one.

“You paid for the last date.” You reasoned, though you also didn’t want him to shell out for dinner if he was going to run off later.

“Independent woman, I get it.” He teased. He knew that something was off about tonight. You kept looking at your watch, fingers tapping on the table anxiously, and now your eyes kept darting from the check to his face.

Once the check was taken care of, you both headed back out to the parking lot. Derek took your hand and stopped suddenly, pulling you into his arms. He lifted your chin so that you were looking into his eyes. You looked pretty freaked out about something and it was worrying him.

“Okay, sweetheart, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean? Everything’s fine.” You couldn’t even convince yourself, let alone a behavioral profiler. You took a breath and let the tension built up in your shoulders fall. “Okay, there’s something I haven’t been telling you about me and when we go back to my place, you’re going to understand.” His eyes widened.

“Don’t tell me you're married.”

“No!” You exclaimed. “Well, not anymore. My ex and I split a long time ago.”

“I’m confused. You were married?” You nodded, looking down shamefully. Derek put a hand on your cheek. “Baby, you could have told me that.” You let out a frustrated sigh.

“That’s not the problem, Derek. That’s not the part that sends every other guy I’ve dated running for the hills.”

“You’re really freaking me out here, Y/N. What is it?” Did you really think he was that kind of guy? You bit your lip nervously.

“My roommate.”

Your apartment should have been dark, but the living room lamp lit up the room, revealing the little bundle of blankets curled up on the sofa and the fast-asleep teen in the chair. You sighed, putting your keys in the little bowl on the table and walked over to the couch. You knelt in front of it, searching for a little nose and a pair of eyes.

“I know you’re awake, Jellybean.” You tapped her nose lightly and earned a chorus of giggles. Her eyes popped open and her arms latched around your neck.

“I missed you.” She pouted, making you laugh.

“Baby, it’s only been a couple of hours. Besides, you had Amy to keep you company.” You motioned to the teen who was snoring in the seat across from you. Angelica made a face.

“Who’s that?” She pointed over your shoulder to an awestruck looking Derek. You picked her up, blankets and all, and walked her over to him.

“This is Derek. He’s a friend of mommy’s.” You tried to read his expression, but he was just looking at her.

“Hi Derek, I’m Angelica.” She beamed. He smiled.

“Hi sweetheart. That’s a really pretty necklace.” He motioned to the chain around her neck. It had a little locket on the end with a picture of the two of you inside.

“Thanks! It was my mom’s, but she gave it to me for my birthday this year.”

“Alright, munchkin, why don’t you go brush your teeth and get into bed?” You put her down on the floor, ignoring her pouting lips. “Go.” She scampered off to her room and you slowly looked back up at Derek. “So…”

“So.”

“I’m going to send Amy home and then can I get you something to drink?” You asked, but you were really waiting for him to run. He nodded.

“A drink would be great.”

After Amy was gone and you finally got Angelica to stay in bed, Derek was patiently waiting on the couch, glass of wine in hand, awaiting the explanation that sent most guys out the door. You nervously sat down beside him and took a long drink from your own glass.

“Your roommate?” Derek chuckled, quirking a brow. You laughed anxiously.

“Yeah… I was afraid if I came right out and said ‘daughter’ you wouldn’t have even left the parking lot.” You curled your legs up underneath you, trying to get comfortable despite the situation. “That’s also why I didn’t tell you about her sooner. It seems every time I like a guy, he bolts as soon as he finds out I’ve got a kid.” Derek nodded in understanding.

“How old is she?”

“She’ll be eight in two months.” You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself. “They aren’t kidding when they say they grow up fast.”

“Yeah, well if she’s anything like her mother, I’m sure she’s a piece of work.” Derek chuckled, teasingly poking your side. He seemed pretty laid back. He wasn’t gunning for the door or itching to leave as soon as your back was turned. His face turned serious, but he still didn’t seem angry. “You know you could have told me, right?”

“It’s not you, Derek.” You stared at the wine in your glass, watching it swirl around like a crimson whirlpool. “I just have a hard time trusting people, especially when it comes to her. But I’m sure your profiler brain figured that out the day we met.” You cast him a knowing look. He shrugged.

“I knew that you weren’t telling me something, but I always figured you’d tell me when you were ready to tell me.” He moved closer to you, setting his glass on the coffee table. “And now you have.”

“I know that this isn’t exactly what you signed up for, and I’m not asking for you to step in and become her dad or anything like that, but I really want to keep seeing you and-” You took a breath. “Sorry, I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“Just a little, but it’s okay.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you both sank further into the couch. “She seems like a good kid.”

“Oh, she is.” You beamed. “She’s smart and way more creative than I ever was at her age. And after everything that’s happened…” You stopped. You didn’t want to get into that now. One big reveal is enough for one night. “She’s a great kid.”

Derek didn’t miss your hesitation, but he decided not to push it. You would tell him when you were ready.

Three weeks later

When you stepped into the kitchen, you couldn’t help but laugh. Derek was standing over the stove, eggs cooking in the pan and music playing from your speaker.

“Alright, show me your moves. Dance with me, Angel.” He laughed, Angelica jumping and spinning around him. Derek was beaming, picking her up in his arms and twirling around, spotting you out of the corner of his eye. “Morning.”

“Morning momma!” Angelica exclaimed. You smiled and kissed her cheek.

“Good morning Jellybean.” You kissed Derek, smiling against his lips. “Good morning Derek.”

“We’re making you breakfast.” Angel grinned. “We’ve got eggs and bacon and french toast.”

“Don’t forget the coffee.” Derek added. You laughed.

“No, never forget the coffee.” You poured yourself a cup and watched as Derek continued his playful dancing with your daughter. It was hard to believe that he didn’t know she existed a month ago. In just a few weeks, Derek had become a fixture in her life. He was sweet and funny and, most importantly, he really cared about her. “Oh, Derek, I almost forgot. Could you pick Angel up after school today? I have a bunch of meetings today that are supposed to go late. Obviously if you have to leave for a case, I can figure something else out, but I figured if you were here you might be available?”

“I’ll let you know if we have to take off, but I should be able to otherwise.”

“Yay!” Angel cheered, placing a big kiss on his cheek. Derek chuckled.

“Alright, Angel, you’d better go get ready.” He put her back down. “And if you’re quick, I’ll make you an extra piece of french toast, okay?”

“Okay, Derek!” She grinned and sprinted to her room. You watched him in awe.

“I can’t believe how good you are with her.” You mused. Derek smirked.

“What can I say? Chicks love me.” He teased. You rolled your eyes. Dereke snaked an arm around your waist and kissed your cheek.

“I have two sisters.” He chuckled, shrugging slightly. “Besides, Angel is a sweet girl.”

“She’s crazy about you, that’s for sure.” You laughed lightly, taking another sip of coffee. Everything felt exactly the way it was supposed to. Derek made you feel safer than you had in a long time and, even more, he made you happier than you had been in years.

Derek gave you a quick kiss goodbye before jetting off to the BAU. You watched his car pull away as he blew a kiss to Angelica with a grin on his face.

When he got to work, an eagerly curious face was awaiting him. Penelope had been trying to figure out who Derek’s new girl was for a while. He hadn’t told her your name, partially because it was fun to watch her squirm with not knowing, but also because he knew her too well. She’d find out everything she could about you and he wanted to find it out for himself. He didn’t want you getting profiled by anybody else on the team.

“You can stop grinning like that, babygirl, I’m still not going to tell you.” He smirked. Garcia pouted.

“I can’t believe you torture me like this.” She huffed. “I am your best friend and therefore am privy to any and all relationship details. Hiding them is like breaching our deepest form of trust.”

“I have given you details, Penelope.” He chuckled. “I’ve told you I’m seeing someone, it’s more serious than a usual fling, and that you would approve of her.”

“How do you know I would approve?” Garcia challenged, punching his shoulder. “She’s got to be one hell of a woman to be good enough for my Derek Morgan.”

“She is, babygirl. Believe me, she is.” He put an arm around her as they walked in together. Prentiss gave the pair a smile.

“Did he finally tell you who she is?”

“No and it is killing me!”

“I still think he made her up to torture us.” Reid laughed as he walked by. Derek thwacked the back of his head and everyone laughed as they went to their piles of dreaded paperwork. Derek stopped by J.J.’s office.

“Hey, J.J. what does today look like so far? Any cases?”

“None that aren’t going to take me all day to prepare, why?” She smirked. “Got a hot date with your mystery woman tonight?” Morgan chuckled.

“Something like that.”

“Seriously, we are all dying to meet the woman that finally caged our resident playboy.” J.J. whined.

“You’ll all meet her soon enough, I promise. I just don’t want all of you scaring Y/N off yet.” He wiggled his eyebrows, content with giving her just enough of a clue to appease the beasts for a while.

Walking back to his desk, he had to shake his head, laughing as J.J. rushed to Garcia’s office to tell her the ‘mystery woman’s’ name.

The day passed just as J.J. had said. Without a case, it was all catching up on paperwork and studying different cases. Of course, Garcia would be looking up every Y/N in Virginia and Morgan couldn’t help but revel in her vain efforts.

He was pouring himself another cup of coffee when Prentiss tapped his shoulder.

“Hey, your phone’s been ringing. I was half tempted to answer just to get it to stop. Can’t you hear it?”

“I guess my mind was somewhere else.” He shrugged. He finished pouring his coffee and went back to his desk. “SSA Morgan.”

“Derek…” You tried to calm down enough so you could speak clearly.

“Y/N? Baby, what is it? Are you okay?” The entire office shifted with him. They saw his body tense and his voice change with concern.

“It’s Angelica. S-she disappeared from school. They said she was there before recess and when they came back in, she was gone. Derek, he took her. I know he did. If we don’t find her he’s going to-”

“Woah, slow down, baby. I’m coming to you, okay. Where are you, the school?”

“Yeah, but Derek I-”

“I’ll be right there. Don’t go anywhere until I get there.” He hung up and grabbed his jacket. Prentiss looked at him with a worried expression.

“Morgan, is everything okay?”

“Tell Hotch I had to leave.”

“Why? What happened?” Reid asked. Derek looked around at all of their concerned faces and sighed.

“I don’t have time to explain right now and it might be nothing, but if it isn’t…” He hated to admit it, but this wasn’t about his ego. This was about you and Angel. “I might need your help.”

With that, he was gone, running to the elevator to get to you as fast as he could.

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination; @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks

#derek morgan x reader #shemar moore #criminal minds imagines #derek morgan #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #babygirl

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villainousshakespeare · 4 years ago

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Bobby’s Playdate Part 2

Part 1

The pandemic is keeping Tom idling in London by himself. One positive is that wearing the mask helps him avoid recognition, allowing him to wander in the park with his dog, Bobby. On one of their walks, Bobby becomes smitten with a dog named Lulu and Tom is equally enchanted by her human. Can the Hiddleston men manage to find a way to see the lovely ladies again?

Tom Hiddleston/OFC

Chapter 2 of4

Rated M - Pandemic, Fluff, Quarantine, Masks, Adorable Puppies, Meet Cute, Second Part May (will) Contain Smut

@yespolkadotkitty @just-the-hiddles @hopelessromanticspoonie @wine-and-whines @arch-venus25 @caffiend-queen @devilish–doll @enchantedbyhiddles @hiddlesholic @i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman @kellatron55 @ladyoftheteaandblood @latent-thoughts @gorgeous1974 @maryxglz @myoxisbroken @nuggsmum @nildespirandum @pedeka @redfoxwritesstuff @sinfully-lustful-darling @vodka-and-some-sass @wrathkitty @kingtwhiddleston @wolfsmom1 @poetic-fiasco @shiningloki @dangertoozmanykids101 @bookworm-christina @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy @amwolowicz @delightfulheartdream @frostbitten-written @what-a-flammable-heart @tom-hlover @nonsensicalobsessions @myraiswack @loki-yoursaviourishere, from-hel-i-with-love, @sweetsigyn, @fictiondoesitbetter, @ms-cellanies @evieplease @viviennes-tears @turniptitaness @cynic-spirit @spooky1980 @ghostypau @viviennes-tears @lady-loki-ren

I am so sorry I took so long to update this! First I was distracted by a super busy week, and then I decided to rework what I had in store for it. It took a while to redo, but I have decided to make it a 4 part story. Hope you enjoy, and that the wait was worth it!

The day had started out like every other since the lock down began. Leia had slept late, having no where to go. A cold, wet kiss on her nose from Lulu woke her up when the pup could no longer wait to be let out and grumbling she had taken her out for a quick walk up and down the block. After two cups of coffee and some melon, Leia had realized that after three months of enforced solitude, both she and her dog had gotten decidedly surly. It was time to get out, even if it was only to the local park.

Lulu’s excitement when she took out the little pink and white checked dress had been enough to put a smile on Leia’s face. Really, the small dog was a ridiculous creature, but she could be such a bundle of sunshine. After they were both outfitted – Lulu in her dress and Leia in a comfy outfit and mask, they made their way to the nearby park, enjoying a leisurely stroll around the newly green paths. She wished that Lulu was not too timid to play in the dog run, but after spending a year in the shelter the poor thing was terrified of other dogs.

That was why she was so surprised when Lulu’s tale began to wag excitedly. Normally she would have been cowering and whimpering in fear at the sound of another dog approaching, but for once her reaction was completely different. She jumped up from where she had been snuggling on Leia’s lap and perked up her ears, tongue lolling out happily. When the chocolate spaniel came trotting around the bend, she even jumped of Leia and strained at the leash to meet him.

Keeping a tight hold on Lulu’s leash, Leia let her eyes travel up the lead attached to the strange dog. It was quite a long trip, as it happened, past a pair of long legs in torn jogging pants, a faded shirt that would once have been bright blue, and a plain black mask until she got to a set of smiling blue eyes that made her heart stop.

“I’m sorry,” the man said, “I promise he is completely friendly.”

She had known who he was instantly, of course. No face mask could disguise those cheek bones, the copper curls that brushed his collar, or the baby blues that had sent a million fan girls swooning. If she had had any doubts, one word from that sinful voice, a verbal caress of polite friendliness, would have stamped it out. She had seen almost all of his movies, after all, and quite a number of his promotional appearances as well.

“It’s okay, so is she,” she replied struggling to keep her voice normal and grateful for the mask that hid her stunned initial gape. “You know, she’s usually quite shy, but she seems to like him! May I pet him?”

And then Tom Hiddleston – The Tom Hiddleston! – had sat down on the bench next to her while she petted Bobby and struck up a casual conversation! She had kept her eyes on the pups at first, afraid that if she looked at him, he would see the excitement and intimidation in her eyes. He introduced himself, needlessly, of course, and she gave him her name in a kind of daze. She realized that he had only provided his first name and had the quick flash of insight that he might be enjoying the idea of anonymity. If that were the case, she would not want to spoil it for him by gushing. Uncertain of what to do, she let the obvious joke about her name lead her to mentioning Marvel characters. That way, she decided, he would have a segue to talking about his career should he want to. When he let it slide and quickly changed the subject, she decided that her assumption must have been correct.

Which was absolutely fine with her! She was sitting and talking to Tom Hiddleston! While she would, of course, love to pick his brain about Loki, or Shakespeare, or any of a dozen projects, she was more than happy to listen to him discuss his dog in that proud pappa voice. By the time she had told him the story behind Lulu’s dress excitement she was reasonably settled and could actually manage to look him in the eye without blushing.

She had met a few famous people in her time as a London tour guide, and many of them had been a colossal let down. Tom was not one of them. He was everything she had ever imagined or hoped he would be. Kind, funny, clever, a little prone to talk on about any subject he happened on, but in all a delightful conversation partner. She was disappointed but not surprised when he had to leave, but she didn’t want to be too greedy; it was already one of the most magical afternoons of his life. When he mentioned running into them again, she almost squealed with excitement, just barely managing to keep her face impassive.

Thus began a fairy tale of month for Leia and Lulu. After two days of rain, during which she was certain he would forget all about her, they had found the boys again at the same spot. Leia half wondered if she were simply dreaming, but if so, she had no desire to wake up. They met up with Tom and Bobby most days, walking for hours sometimes as they discussed London, their childhoods, school. She learned quickly that he changed the subject instinctively whenever anything came up that might lead to his career. She could respect that. It must be hard, she thought, being always in the public eye. For her own part, Leia tacitly decided to keep the subject of her book a secret. After all, a fantasy story based on Norse Mythology, with Loki playing a leading role, was bound to bring up the sort of conversation he obviously wished to avoid.

As time went on, she began to forget he was a movie star and just think of him as her friend, insane as that struck her when she stopped to look at it. Oh, she was still absurdly attracted to him, but it was no longer for his stunning character portrayals or teasing banter with interviewers. No, the teasing banter she was interested in now was much more personal for her. He was delightful company, unfailingly polite, quick with a wickedly funny comment or a profound musing on life. In short, Leia was well and truly smitten. Hopelessly, she thought with a sigh.

When he invited her to his home, she could barely believe it. A casual acquaintance in the park was one thing, a dinner chez Hiddleston was completely different. She knew it was in large part for the sake of the puppies, and that was fine. Lulu was as besotted with Bobby as Leia was with Tom, only in this case it was obviously mutual. Leia would just have to be careful to guard her heart. She was not a part of his real life, and she needed to remember that, even if they never discussed it.

***

Bobby started barking seconds before the buzzer rang, his tail wagging back and forth at a frantic pace. Tom, scarcely less excited, gave a quick glance in the mirror before slipping on his mask and opening the door.

Leia stood on his doorstep looking even more lovely than usual. Her simple leggings and long tee had been replaced by a pretty, floral sundress in shades of red and yellow and her hair, usually tied up or back, was long and curling about her shoulders. Tom swallowed and tried to keep his eyes from doing too obvious an up and down of her body. It was difficult, considering the shape of her legs and amount of them showing. Lulu’s yip drew his eyes down to her, and he saw that she was dressed in a purple polka dotted number for the evening, her hair sporting several sparkly clips to keep her braids from coming undone.

“Hi, welcome!” he greeted them, straining to keep Bobby from leaping out the door. “Won’t you come in?”

“Thanks,” she smiled with her eyes as he ushered her inside.

“You found the place alright?”

“Your directions were perfect,” she assured him, glancing around at his newly bare entryway. “It’s quite the posh street you live on! I don’t think I’ve ever been into one of these houses.”

“Oh, it’s just like any other home,” he said modestly, feeling stupid as he did. His house had an electronic gate (that he had left unlocked for her) and a private surveillance system. He knew it was not the usual home. “I can give you a tour later if you like.”

“I’d love that. Whatever you have cooking smells delicious!”

“Thanks. I’ll have to check on it in a bit. For now, though, why don’t we go out back? I have some drinks chilling.”

He gestured for her to proceed him and subtly steered her past the kitchen and living room and out the sliding glass doors into the back. The yard was pretty, a nice square plot with flowers growing along the fence on three sides and one large tree giving shade. A table with four chairs and a grill stood on a little stone area, and Tom had set it up with a selection of glasses for beer, wine, and mixed drinks. A pitcher of iced water stood next to a bottle of dry rose in an ice bucket, and another small bucket contained iced beers.

“Here you go, Bobby,” he unleashed the spaniel who instantly tore off around the yard, looking for his favorite toy. “Why don’t you two have a nice frolic.”

“Oh Lulu, this will be fun!” Leia cooed to her pup, also removing her dog’s leash.

As the little dog scampered off after Bobby, Tom took a deep breath and turned to her owner. Now was the moment he had been waiting for.

“I suppose since we are alone and outside and all… as long as we stay six feet apart… would you mind?” he gestured towards his mask.

“Not at all. Oh, and I got my negative test results back. I have a copy on my phone if you want to see them!” she offered.

“No need, I trust you,” he was quick to assure her. “I got mine as well.”

It was strange – until a few months ago he would have felt tremendously awkward wearing a mask around another person. Even when he had needed to wear one for a few scenes in Only Lovers Left Alive it had seemed tremendously cumbersome and rather silly. Now though, Tom realized that he could not remember the last time he had been around another person without one. There was something shockingly intimate in the act of taking it off in front of Leia, and he found himself feeling almost shy. Blushing a bit, he unhooked the straps from around his ears and took the fabric from in front of his mouth, setting it on one of the chairs.

His eyes fastened on her as she reached up to do the same, the red mask peeling away to reveal a small bow of a mouth, pink lips curved in a slight smile. Her chin was slightly pointed and had a cute little half dimple to one side. Smile lines were just barely visible and added to the appeal of her face. It was a very kissable mouth, he decided.

“Hi,” he said, rather fatuously, face breaking into a sheepish grin. “I’m Tom.”

“Hi Tom,” she smiled back, and his heart skipped a beat. “I’m Leia.”

They stood there for a moment, staring at each other, until he cleared his throat and pointed to a chair.

“Please, have a seat,” he managed to say. “As you see, I have wine, beer, water, or I could make you a cocktail if you’d rather. Or lemonade if you prefer a soft drink…” he realized he was babbling and cut himself off.

“Wine would be nice,” she said, sitting down and crossing one long leg over the other, giving him a lovely glimpse of her thigh.

“Right, wine it is,” he said, uncorking the bottle and grabbing a glass. “I hope it’s alright. My sister loves this brand, she brought it when she was here last, and it is better than anything I would have known to get.”

“Not a wine guy?” she asked, accepting the glass from him.

“Oh, I like a good hearty red with a steak now and then, and I will definitely have some with dinner tonight – I hope you like Italian, by the way – but for casual drinking, I’m more of a beer or scotch fan myself.”

While he prattled on Tom opened up one of the beers and poured it into a pint glass. When the foam had gone down a bit, he raised the glass and tilted it towards her.

“To deepening new friendships,” he dared to say, eyes finding hers.

They clinked their glasses, and he took a long sip of the hoppy beverage, hoping he hadn’t over stepped.

“To embracing human interaction!” she added. “Selectively, of course.”

Well, she obviously didn’t recognize him. That was a relief. He had been half worried that she would shriek, or become tongue tied, or worse. It was remarkable to him how many women seemed to have extreme reactions to meeting him. He was so ordinary! Just an overgrown ginger kid from Wimbledon. It wasn’t like they were meet Daniel Day Lewis for god’s sake. On the other hand, he couldn’t help feeling the tiniest twinge of disappointment. He worked hard at his job, after all, and was proud of the reputation he had developed and of the work he had done. It was strange, with how up on everything Leia always seemed, that she didn’t have any knowledge of Marvel at least, or The Night Manager. Still, some people didn’t watch a lot of movies and TV, or if they did it was more intellectual fare.

They both leaned back in their chairs and watched the dogs play chase back and forth. Tom found his eyes drifting back to her, staring at her mouth. He had never realized just how much a person’s mouth said about them. Leia’s smiled as a default, giving her a more youthful look than she had when it was covered. There was something fresh and approachable about her that he was drawn to.

The conversation was light and easy. Neither of them had been doing much of anything lately, so they resorted to telling older stories from their childhoods. Tom was amused to think of Leia playing with her friends, insisting that no, she wanted to be Han Solo despite what her thoughtless parents had named her. Tom, of course, had wanted to play all of the characters, and delighted her with his spot-on Darth Vadar and Grand Moff Tarkin impressions.

“You were a terror, weren’t you?” she laughed as he described bossing his sister about the correct way to make the light saber noises.

“A bit, yeah,” he admitted. “Emma and Sarah would probably say more than a bit. They had it coming though.”

“I’m sure they would agree with that, too,” she said sarcastically.

“It’s not my fault they couldn’t take direction,” he grinned. “I’m sure you would have made an excellent Han Solo. With the proper lessons.”

“Perhaps you can make me your student after dinner, if we have enough wine,” she suggested.

He knew she meant it innocently enough, but he felt a blush creep up his cheeks at the image her words planted in his mind. Leia in a schoolgirl outfit, bent over his desk flashing through his brain was enough to make him reach for his beer and gulp down more than was advisable. She seemed to realize after a moment, as she too reached for her glass and took a long swallow.

Lulu chose that moment to break away from where they had been digging around the tree and came running over to them, something grimy hanging from her mouth.

“What have you got there, peanut?” Leia sked, sounding a bit relieved.

“She seems to have unearthed one of Bobby’s treasures,” Tom smiled, glad of the distraction himself.

“Here, princess, you want me to throw it for you?”

Leia held out her hand and she happily dropped the toy into it. Tom looked at the toy and felt his jaw go slack and his eyes frantic. It was Loki. Of course it was. One of Bobby’s favorite toys, naturally, given to him during the lead up to one of the movies, the thick ropes of green and gold formed a long God of Mischief chew toy/tug of war combo, complete with horns. Tom licked his lips, glancing quickly at Leia, only to see that she was smiling down at her fluffy pup.

“Oh, Lulu, Look! It’s just like yours, only a bit more loved,” she said with a laugh. “Good girl, saving the handsome prince from a shallow grave. Loki never stays dead for long!”

With another laugh she took the toy and threw it across the yard, Lulu and Bobby both quickly scampering off after it. Tom gaped at her, uncertain what to say.

“You must have a lot of those,” she commented off handedly.

“You… you know?” he stammered.

“Know what?”

“Who I am?” it sounded stupid and conceited to his own ears.

“Well, I hope so since I’m in your home.”

“No, I mean you know what I do for a living,” he ground out, feeling like an utter ass.

“Of course,” she told him, quirking her lips.

“Since when?” he choked out.

“Since the first day. You’re not exactly easy to mistake, Tom.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You didn’t seem to want to talk about it. I figured it must get old, people falling all over themselves around you, treating you like you’re not even human.”

“Yeah. Yeah it does.”

“So I took my cue from you.”

“I see,” he was completely flummoxed. “And you have a Loki toy? For Lulu, I mean?”

“Of course, he’s our favorite! Poor, misunderstood boy. You know, I am glad I have the opportunity to tell you now how good you are. And not just as Loki. You were breath taking in Betrayal.”

“You saw Betrayal?”

“Twice. Stunning work.”

He knew his mouth was opening and closing stupidly, but he couldn’t seem to stop it. She had known, all this time. She had been humoring him by not talking about it. He was not entirely sure how to feel about that.

“Tom is everything alright?” she asked, sounding concerned.

“Was that why you talked to me?” he heard himself asking. “Why you agreed to come over? Because I am famous?”

“No,” she said slowly. “I came over because you asked, and because I like you. Yes, I was a bit star struck at first, but I got past it. Are you angry? I just assumed you realized.”

“No. No, I didn’t. I… I should go check on dinner.”

“Tom, really, are you okay?”

“Yeah, absolutely. Be right back.”

Turning tail, he fled into the house, mind in complete turmoil at the new turn of events.

#Tom Hiddleston #Bobby Hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfiction #Fanfic #rpf fanfic #rpf #tom hiddleston rpf #Tom Hiddleston/OFC #Fluff #Lock Down #slight angst #romance #dating in quarantine #future smut #flirting #puppy love #Bobby gets a girlfriend too!#adorable #Bobby's Playdate

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blu-joons · 4 years ago

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Early Christmas Present ~ Kim Taehyung

Your eyes widened as you met Taehyung, his fell to the ground at the incident going on around you, reaching his hand out to move you away from it all. His arm moved around your waist as you came close to him, feeling your heart pound in your chest.

“Tae,” you whispered, feeling his eyes look across to you, “it’s happening.”

He grabbed the snowflake patterned blanket from over the back of the sofa and wrapped it around your body tightly, tucking the material into your hands to hold.

“Stay nice and calm,” he smiled, resting his hands against your cheek, “it seems like someone couldn’t wait for Christmas!”

You still had a week of pregnancy left to go before you reached forty weeks, you were quite prepared to spend Christmas sat around at home and then give birth a few days later. You had it all planned out, prepared to spend New Years with your new baby at home.

Taehyung was terrified too, seeing the panic in your eyes was heart breaking, but he had to remain strong for you, and your child. It wasn’t what he saw coming either, he was all prepared to spend Christmas, tomorrow.

“What do we do?” You whimpered, leaning closely into his chest to try and mask the pain.

There was a moment of silence from Taehyung before he responded, “it’s probably too soon for you to go to the hospital just yet, maybe we should stay here for a while.”

Slowly, and carefully he sat you down on the sofa, placing cushions all around you to make sure that you were comfortable. Your body collapsed back as soon as you rested, placing both your hands around your growing baby bump.

Whilst Tae frantically ran around you to ensure you were relaxed, you allowed your eyes to close for a few moments, for the last time you probably would be able to for a good couple of days.

“Where’s the baby bag?”

You opened your eyes and looked across at him, pointing to the bag that you’d had by your front door for a good couple of weeks as a just in case. “You’re going to burst a nerve or something if you don’t calm down.”

“I just want you to be alright?”

You reached your hand out for him to take, encouraging him to sit down beside him, placing his hand over your bump. “I’m fine, we just need to relax, and things will be alright. We know where the baby bag is, we’ve practiced the route to the hospital several times, what else could go wrong?”

He couldn’t help but smile at how calm you were, especially with what was to come. Everything that the two of you had organised felt like it had fallen apart, his brain had forgotten every single thing that the two of you had talked about.

“Can you believe our baby will be here on Christmas?” You asked, continuing to try and distract his mind. “Neither of us saw this coming.”

Ever since you found out you were having a winter baby you were both thrilled, your week would be filled with celebration, Christmas, a new baby, and Taehyung’s birthday, all in a few days. Taehyung especially was incredibly excited to share a birthday so close to his child.

“It feels really cliché,” he chuckled, “it’s like what you see in the movies, the night before Christmas suddenly the mum goes into labour.”

“I guess it does,” you smiled, leaning against his shoulder.

As his hands rested over your bump, he couldn’t help but feel a twang of sadness. He’d grown quite accustomed to your bump, falling asleep beside it and resting into it, his eyes were always on your bump too, he loved to watch you as you carried his child and watch as over time your body went through so many changes.

“I was thinking about maybe if they’re born on Christmas, we should find a Christmassy related name,” he mused, glancing across at you, “if it’s a girl, maybe Holly, or Ivy would be quite a good name to incorporate for her.”

“And what about if it is a boy?” You queried, interested by the discussion. Taehyung thought for a moment before the corners of his mouth turned up into a smile.

You glanced at him questionably, “maybe we could name him Rudolph? It certainly would make him unique,” he sniggered, as your eyes rolled, he realised maybe that wouldn’t quite be an option for the two of you.

As he spoke, you felt the beginnings of yet another contract, holding onto his arm as you leant forwards, following the breaths he took beside you until it came to an end.

Once you began to relax again, you turned to face him, “I think that’s the baby’s way of saying they don’t want to be named Rudolph.”

“It’s a good job the baby doesn’t get a say then,” he smiled, watching as you relaxed back after the few moments of pain. “It’s scary watching you right now,” he suddenly confessed, before he even had a chance to think about what he was saying.

“You don’t need to be scared, it’s not like you’re the one about to give birth to the baby,” you joked, resting your hand over his gently. “Just think about how it will be once the baby is here and we get to spend Christmas all together as a family.”

His head nodded, but that couldn’t stop his guilt. Throughout your whole pregnancy Taehyung had struggled often, first your morning sickness, and then your tiredness, and now the pains that labour bought you.

As another contraction came, his fingers intertwined with yours. “I might not get a better chance today to tell you that I’m so thankful that I’m doing this with you. I can already tell you’re going to be the best mum in the world.”

“You can’t get all soppy on me now,” you teased, “I’m already hormonal as it is.”

“I’m not, I promise. It’s just that it’s really beginning to hit me that this is actually happening.”

The festive season always bought out the best and worst in him, he’d been excited for his birthday since the end of the last, and as always, Christmas was always his favourite time of year, and now his little one was coming too. “It’s been happening for the past nine months Tae; we’ve known it was happening for quite a while.”

“I know but it always felt so far away, but now it’s so close now.”

Your head shook as he stood up, glancing around the house once more to make sure everything was fine. You watched him closely, as much as he tried to hide it, you could see easily just how nervous he was about the whole situation.

“It’ll be alright Tae, it’s Christmas, it’s like we were destined to have this baby today.”

His eyes lit up at your words, this baby really was a little miracle for you both. “You’re right, and I know this definitely will be a Christmas that we won’t forget. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be glad when it’s over too,” he smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“That definitely makes two of us, but I’ve got you with me, so I know that nothing can go wrong,” you reminded him, resting your hand back over your bump as you felt yet another contraction near.

“I’ve never met someone as strong as you,” Taehyung encouraged, holding your hand through it all. “Once all this is over I’m going to never let you do anything again, I’ll owe you an endless amount of favours for the rest of our lives.

After a few more contractions, more painful and longer, the two of you finally decided that it was time to take the trip to the hospital.

Taehyung was nervous throughout it all, taking everything to the car and tidying the house to make sure it was clean for your new arrival to come home to. Once all of that was done, with an arm wrapped around your waist he helped you out to the car.

The drive was fairly silent with the exception of your exclamations of pain, every time just the smallest noise came from you, Taehyung was glancing over. As you drove, looking out at all the houses decorated for Christmas, you couldn’t help but smile. Perhaps it wasn’t going to quite be the Christmas you had expected together, but it was certainly always going to be your most memorable Christmas together, because nothing could ever top this.

As you pulled up to the hospital, you stopped for a moment, staring across at Taehyung. “This is really happening,” you whispered, taking a hold of his hand, “do you think you’re ready to have a baby?”

“I don’t think I can say anything else but yes now.”

---

Masterlist

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suituuup · 4 years ago

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pieces - chapter thirteen

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn’t expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rated: E (drug use and emotional abuse in early chapters)

ao3 link

It didn’t take long for Beca to realize that Sarah was right.

She probably had been oblivious to her feelings for Chloe or chalked them up to close friendship because Sarah was in the picture, but as soon as her guilt over breaking-up with Sarah faded away a couple of weeks ago, it felt as though a veil lifted.

Her whole being lit up every time she saw Chloe, and she craved those soft moments with her, either talking about Bean, or working on the nursery, or cuddling up on the couch.

Beca didn’t know if Chloe felt the same way, and even if she did, she was probably miles away from being ready to launch into a relationship, between the baby and her recovery.

She focused on her music in the meantime, writing three more songs to go with that one piece she came up with the day after she saw Chloe again. One was about being brave, another about getting redemption, and the last one about finding happiness. All about Chloe, and how much her journey inspired Beca.

Beca came home pretty late from the office that night, wrapping up the final versions of all four songs with Luke. She found Chloe on the couch watching a sitcom and padded over. Chloe was now shy of 22 weeks and sporting the most adorable baby bump.

They had worked on the nursery over the last two weekends, hanging cute, colorful pictures of several woodland animals and sticking colorful, minimalist tree wall decals on the opposite wall. The crib, changing table, and car seat had been ordered, and Beca was planning a surprise baby shower with Aubrey, a month after the Bellas reunion, which was taking place in two weeks at a cabin upstate.

“Hey,” Beca murmured, plopping down beside her. “How was your day?”

“Pretty good. Bean and I went for a walk, then we met up with Aubrey for lunch, and napped for most of the afternoon. She’s kicking like crazy right now, though.”

Beca grinned. “Yeah?” She cleared her throat, hesitant. “Can I… feel?”

“Of course,” Chloe said softly, taking Beca’s hand and setting it on the left side of her stomach. “That’s where her foot was just a second ago.”

Beca folded her legs under her and sat back on her heels to be more comfortable, silence descending upon them as they waited. After a minute, she glanced at Chloe. “Maybe it’s not strong enough to be felt from the outside, yet?”

“No, it’s not that. I think she’s stopped.”

“Oh,” Beca let out in slight disappointment. Just as she was about to pull her hand away, she felt a light tap against her palm and gasped. “Oh my god, I felt it!”

A giggle burst from Chloe’s mouth. “That was a strong one.”

“That’s amazing,” Beca mused aloud, her voice sticking to her throat a bit. Yes, she was about to cry over Chloe’s baby kicking, that’s how soft this whole thing had made her. “Jesus Beale, your kid is turning me into a giant puddle of mush.”

Chloe chuckled, moving Beca’s hand to a new spot and keeping hers on top. Bean kicked again, pulling another gasp from Beca.

“Does it hurt?” Beca found herself asking, her gaze sweeping upwards to watch Chloe’s expression.

“It’s a little bit uncomfortable whenever she kicks in the ribs, but other than that, no.” Chloe moved her hand to another spot, tracking the next kick. “How was your day? You’re home pretty late.”

“Yeah, Luke and I added the finishing touches to my EP.”

Chloe’s eyes lit up. “When is it going to be out?”

“We still have to get the art for the cover, so probably in a couple of weeks, right after the Bellas reunion.” Chloe nodded slowly. “Are you excited to see the girls?”

“I’m… a bit nervous to be honest. What are they gonna think?”

Beca smiled. “They’re going to think that you’re a badass.” Chloe broke eye-contact, shaking her head as looked down to her lap. “Hey, I’m serious. None of them are going to judge you. And just like Aubrey and I, they’re going to be so happy to have you back in their lives.”

Chloe hesitantly met her gaze. “You really think so?”

A firm nod. “I know so.”

Chloe managed a smile and a faint nod. “Okay.”

The following two weeks were busy for Beca as she focused on promoting her EP and tied some loose ends before the Bellas reunion so she wouldn’t be bothered that weekend. Early on that mid-August Saturday morning, they set off to Lake Placid, having planned to meet the Bellas there by lunchtime. Chloe didn’t mention anything, but Beca could tell she was nervous from all the cooking she had done in the past few days, enough to feed an army.

She was glad, however, that Chloe used that as a stress-reliever as opposed to falling back into bad habits.

They made it to the cabin Beca rented just before 1 pm, and Beca heard Chloe suck in a sharp breath as soon as she killed the engine, her expression similar to when they made it to her parents’ two months ago.

“It’ll be okay,” Beca murmured, covering Chloe’s hand with her own and squeezing it. She was a bit worried about there being alcohol, as Chloe insisted they shouldn’t have to restrain themselves for her sake.

“Thanks,” Chloe breathed out, flipping her hand over and holding Beca’s for a moment. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Most of them had made it there last night as they were flying in, shouts and laughter carrying from the backyard, where the outdoor pool was. It was sunny and way too hot for Beca’s liking, but she didn’t say a word, as being pregnant in that weather was definitely worse.

If Chloe was uncomfortable with the temperature, she didn’t let it show, looking gorgeous in her yellow maternity summer dress.

Stepping inside, they set the food bags on the kitchen island and Beca walked towards the open bay window, Chloe following behind.

“Hey nerds,” she called out as she stepped out on the patio just as Amy made a cannonball, the splashing water nearly drenching her. “Dude!”

“Sup Shortstack?” Amy greeted as she emerged a few beats later.

“Chloe!” Beca turned around to see Stacie striding over and hugging Chloe tightly. “I’ve missed you.”

“Hey Stace,” Chloe murmured, embracing her back. “I’ve missed you, too.”

As Beca had predicted, the Bellas took it all in one stride, greeting Chloe like it hadn’t been over six years since they last saw one another and making her feel like a part of the group without a second thought.

Now able to relax, Beca helped herself to a drink, watching from afar as Chloe met Stacie’s three-year-old daughter for the first time, a fond smile etched in her features. It was clear from that first exchange with Bella that Chloe would rock this mom thing, given how much of a natural she was around kids.

After lunch, the girls made the most of the pool, either playing various games in the water or sunbathing in the lounge chairs. Beca was content soaking it all in at the table, sipping on a margarita. Her gaze often wandered to Chloe as she chatted with Jessica while reclining on a chair, clad in a bikini with one hand rubbing her belly.

It was easy for her thoughts to escape towards what it could be if she and Chloe were to become something more. Raising Bean together, buying a house somewhere outside the city, getting a dog, possibly getting married...

“Oi, Mitchell.”

Beca snapped out of her reverie, clearing her throat in embarrassment as Stacie plopped down next to her. “What’s up, Stace?”

“You good?” She asked, cocking an eyebrow. “You looked like you were having a moment.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Beca assured her and smiled, setting her drink down before pushing to her feet. She wanted to get in on the pool action, but her bathing suit was upstairs in her overnight bag. “I’m gonna go change.”

“Be quiet if you’re going upstairs?” Stacie asked. “I just put Bella down for her nap.”

“No problem.”

Beca headed to her room and changed into her bikini, sliding her denim shorts back on and grabbing her sunscreen as she didn’t want to resemble a lobster tonight. As she quietly headed down the hallway towards the stairs, she couldn’t help but freeze when she heard her name behind a door left slightly ajar.

“Feelings? For Beca?”

It was Aubrey’s voice. Beca knew she shouldn’t eavesdrop, but she really couldn’t get her feet to move, curiosity rooting them down.

A sigh that belonged to Chloe followed. “I was convinced it was just my hormones going wild at first. But then something happened the other night when she felt Bean kick for the first time. You should have seen her reaction, Bree... she was completely moved by it, and it’s like I felt my heart double in size. And I think about her non-stop, even when I need to… take care of myself.”

“Oh my god, ew, Chloe!” Aubrey hissed while Beca nearly choked on her saliva, her entire body feeling as though it just caught on fire. “I don’t need to hear that.”

“I’m sorry!” Chloe whispered, stifling a laugh. “What I mean by that is that it’s not just platonic love or gratitude because of everything she did for me lately. I’m physically attracted to her, too. It feels exactly the same as it did in Barden.”

Beca’s heart stuttered at that. Chloe had feelings for her back then, too?

“Are you going to tell her?” Aubrey asked softly.

“I…” Chloe hesitated. “I want to. But I’m just getting my life back together, I’m not ready for a relationship yet. And I’m also… scared she might not feel the same way.”

Beca forced herself to walk away, knowing that what she was doing wasn’t right. Her brain reeled from the onslaught of information all evening long. She was physically there, but her mind felt thousands of miles away, her thoughts going back and forth between that night at Barden, and if she should tell Chloe about how she felt.

She retreated to her room before the others, not that it surprised anyone as she was, along with Aubrey, considered the grandma of the group. She had just slipped into bed when a knock sounded at the door.

“Come in,” she called out softly.

The door opened just wide enough for Chloe to step inside, and she shut it behind her, padding over to the bed. “You okay? You’ve seemed off tonight.”

Beca nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay. I promise.” She patted the space next to her. “Wanna hang out here for a bit?”

As Chloe nodded and shuffled to lie next to her atop the covers, Beca felt her heartbeat quicken. It was odd, knowing for certain Chloe had feelings for her and holding the cards in her own hands.

“Today was a lot of fun,” Chloe murmured as she sat propped against the pillows, bracing a hand over her stomach. “You were right. The girls don’t care about my past.”

“Well, your past doesn’t define you,” Beca said with a soft smile. “I’m glad you’re having a good time.”

“Are you nervous about tomorrow? About your EP coming out?”

Beca shook her head. “Not really. I didn’t write those songs with the goal to hit the top of the charts, so I don’t exactly feel any pressure.” At Chloe’s slight tilt of the head, she added, “I wrote them because they helped me work through some of my feelings. Especially the first one.”

Twisting her head to the right, she grabbed her phone and her headphones, plugging them in before gently setting them over Chloe’s ears. She puffed out a breath and pressed play, willing her ratcheting heart to chill the fuck out as Chloe closed her eyes and listened.

The song only lasted a few minutes, but it felt like the longest of Beca’s life. Chloe’s lids slowly opened, and she lowered the headphones so that they hung around her neck, her gaze full of questions.

“It’s about us,” she whispered, no doubt having picked up the few hints woven into the lyrics.

Beca swallowed, nodding. She had never felt at ease pouring her heart out, and she sucked in a deep breath through her nose, puffing it out through her lips. “You remember when I told you about listening to your gut?” Chloe gave a faint nod. “That’s what I should have done that morning after because not telling you how I felt was the biggest mistake of my life.”

She briefly glanced down. “I had broken Jesse’s heart just a little while before, and I was scared that I just wasn’t made for relationships. So I didn’t say anything, because I couldn’t break your heart, either. I would have never forgiven myself if I did.”

Chloe remained silent for half-a-minute, processing Beca’s words. “I knew you were in love with me,” she admitted softly. “And I had the feeling you were just scared, so I didn’t push you. I figured… you just needed time, and I was ready to wait for you. But then…” she cleared her throat, her eyes flickering down. “My life skidded out of control.”

Beca’s heart suddenly feels heavy with the weight of regret. She can’t help but wonder how different things could have been, had she been honest with Chloe that morning. But she willed her mind to come back to the present because there was no point in wallowing in the should-haves and what-ifs. Not when she was being given a second chance.

No chickening out this time. She wasn’t a kid anymore.

“I want to be with you, Chlo,” she murmured, her throat shrinking with emotions as she forced her gaze to remain locked with Chloe’s. “These past few months… living with you and being by your side through this journey-- it made me fall in love with you all over again.”

Chloe closed her eyes, and a few tears toppled down her cheeks. She released a long breath. “I want that, too. I do,” she croaked out, and something that had been poking at Beca’s heart suddenly vanished. Chloe reached out to swipe her palm over both cheeks, her other hand sliding into Beca’s. “I just need some time. I need to find a more stable mindset before I open that door.”

“I know,” Beca whispered, blinking back her own tears. “And I’ll wait, this time. For however long it takes. I promise.”

“I know,” Chloe echoed, her thumb slowly stroking Beca’s knuckles back and forth. “I trust you.”

They shared a soft smile, and Beca didn’t think she had felt this light, ever.

“I guess I should head to bed,” Chloe said after a moment of comfortable silence.

Beca nodded. “Okay.” Releasing Chloe’s hand, she rubbed her palm over Chloe’s belly gently. “Night Bean.”

Chloe stood up and cast her short wave when she made it to the door, shutting it softly behind her.

#bechloe #bechloe fanfic #bechloe fic #pieces

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heavenlyhaechan · 4 years ago

Text

The Road Not Taken

Pairing: Kevin x Gn!Reader

Genre: exes to almost lovers, angst, fluff

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, alludes to explicit content, not a happy ending

Rating: PG

Note: Based on ‘tis the damn season by Taylor Swift. Look for the lines inspired by the Queen’s Gambit.

The cafe was the same as it’d always been. Big windows looked out onto the wet street, sacks of coffee beans lay along the back wall, their sweet aroma filling the air. You breathed in deeply, letting the smell fill your lungs until your body forced you to exhale.

You ordered a plain black coffee at the counter, turning to lean against it as you waited. A baby looked at you in the curious way babies do, and you returned their stare. Their hair stuck up in curls that bounced around as they giggled. You smiled, averting your gaze as you heard the bell on the door jingle.

His hair was longer than you remembered. It threatened to fall into his eyes as he surveyed the room, eyes that froze the second they landed upon you. For a moment you were tempted to try and hide, abandon your unmade coffee and run as far away from here as you could. But he was already making his way past the cashier and the cases of baked goods, only slowing down when he reached you.

“Kevin Moon,” you said as he came to a stop in front of you. He nodded, a small smile playing on his lips.

“It’s been a while,” he replied.

“I like your hair.”

He thanked you as you turned to accept your coffee from the barista.

“Where are you staying?” he asked as you took a sip of the dark liquid.

“My parents house.”

“How long?”

“Two weeks.”

He nodded again, fingers playing with the silver chain of his necklace.

“Aren’t you gonna order?” you asked after a moment of silence.

“Oh yeah. Wait for me?”

“Of course,” you said, but in your head all you could think was: did you wait for me?

“You still drink that bitter stuff huh?” he asked as he walked you back to your parents house.

“You still drink that glorified milk huh?” you shot back.

He made an indignant sound as he held his coffee cup close to his chest. “How dare you disrespect my latte like that.”

For the first time in what felt like forever, a genuine laugh bubbled up in your chest. Soon enough you were both laughing, high on the cold air and the nostalgia of each others company. It felt so natural being with him, laughing with him, like four years hadn’t just gone by without a word from either of you.

“So what are you up to these days?” you asked when you’d recovered.

“Well I’m a uh, teacher. For first graders.”

“Oh?” you said. “You went through with it huh?”

“Yeah,” he laughed again, quieter this time. You remembered how easily laughter had always come to him, as well as the days when it had come easily to you too.

——

Thursday morning you sat up in your childhood bed to find the world outside coated in a thin layer of snow. By the time you made it downstairs for breakfast it had begun to fall again, the wind sending white flurries of it dancing across your parent’s lawn.

At eleven o’clock you answered a knock on the door, only to find Kevin standing on your porch with a navy blue beanie pulled over his hair and a sled under his arm.

“Are you serious?” you asked in place of a greeting, trying and failing to hold back a smile as he nodded enthusiastically.

“It never snows here, so we are obligated to take advantage of it!” he said as he quirked an eyebrow at you comically.

You didn’t need any more persuasion than that.

Half an hour later the two of you stood at the top of a hill in your neighborhood park, surrounded on all sides by people twice your age. Not that Kevin seemed to care. A flipped coin resulted in you sitting on the front of the sled with Kevin behind you, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

The butterflies that were conjured at the feeling of his chest pressed against your back (albeit separated by quite a few of layers), were blown away as he sent the two of you hurtling down the snowy slope. You didn’t know whether to laugh or scream, so you did a bit of both. It was over in a flash however, as the two of you came to a smooth stop at the bottom of the hill.

“Again!” you shouted elatedly, laughing as you pulled Kevin to his feet and started back up the incline.

Once, twice, three times you repeated the process, until on your fifth run your luck ran out and you were sent toppling off the sled as you reached the bottom of the hill. You lay still for a moment, trying to catch your breath, before you realized the position you’d landed in. Kevin hadn’t let go of your waist once, resulting in the two of you falling onto the snow covered ground in a pile of limbs, your cheek pressed to his chest.

“Are you okay?” you asked as you scrambled off of him hurriedly, blaming his newfound blush on the cold.

“Yeah, are you?” he asked as he sat up slowly.

“Yes, you’re good landing pad.”

“Glad to be of service.” He looked around for a moment before laying back down and shouting, “Snow angel!” His arms and legs moved sporadically in the snow, sending you into another fit of laughter.

——

The next week was spent both with and without Kevin. During the day you would go explore art galleries, cafes, and parks, or just go for a drive in the old truck he’d had since you were seventeen. At night you would spend time with your family, trying your best to pretend that your mind wasn’t elsewhere.

New Years Eve arrived sooner than you would’ve liked, as it meant your trip was coming to an end. That night Kevin showed up on your doorstep yet again, this time carrying a bottle of champagne.

“Might I uh, steal you away from your parents for a bit?” he asked when you answered the door, his smile as big and lopsided as ever. You found that you couldn’t help but smile back.

——

“This is it; home sweet home,” he said as he closed his apartment door behind you. It was small but cozy, with little bits of Kevin everywhere. Boxes of beads were spread across the kitchen table, and some of his students drawings were pinned up on the white front fridge.

As Kevin went to get some glasses for the champagne, you found your eyes fixating on the piece of art hung on the far wall.

“Do you like it?” he asked as he set a pair of champagne glasses down on the kitchen table.

“Yeah,” you said, although honestly you weren’t sure. The piece sent a strange sense of loneliness streaking through you.

“It’s mine.” he said. “I made it I mean.”

“I didn’t know you were an artist,” you said as you ripped your eyes away from the piece and moved to where he stood at the table.

“I’m not really,” he deflected, lifting his hands to gesture towards the bottle of champagne. “Shall we?”

——

A few glasses of champagne later you found yourself laying on Kevin’s couch, legs resting on his lap. His hands tapped an unfamiliar beat on your thighs, the beads on his bracelet creating a makeshift song.

“You know, this isn’t technically champagne,” you mused, your fingers playing with one of the couches loose strings. “It’s just sparkling white wine,” you continued, lifting your head to look at him.

“Is it now?” he said to show he was listening, his eyes not straying from where his hands rested on your legs.

“Yes,” you sat up properly now, your head spinning a bit as blood rushed from your brain to the rest of your body. You watched the clocks hands tick the seconds away, counting down to midnight.

——

It was 11:57 when he asked you if you still liked his hair, the words heavy with meaning. His breath ghosted across your lips as you pondered for a moment, leaning forward to twist a lock of his pitch black hair between your fingers. You noticed then that his eyes had glazed over, although whether it was because of the champagne or the close proximity you weren’t sure.

“Yes,” you said finally, and he smiled.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked this time, leaning just a hair closer.

“Yes,” you said again, barely loud enough for him to hear.

Four years had passed, but he tasted the same; like that peppermint gum you’d loved in high school, with remnants of coffee from the place down the street. You wondered if you tasted the same, if deep down you were still the same naive school girl that he’d watched leave all those years ago.

You thought back to the last kiss you’d given him before you’d left, and realized that this felt exactly the same. The only difference was that this time you thought you might finally drown in your guilt.

But then you felt his teeth dig into your bottom lip and you stopped thinking anything at all.

——

You awoke to the scent of him on your skin and in your lungs, the warmth of his presence permeating your very being. You were enveloped in it, and for a moment you wished you could stay there forever, wrapped in the warmth of his blankets.

But no. You rolled onto your stomach, not wanting to look him in the eye as your mind grappled with the conflicting bitterness of the truth. Goosebumps rose on your skin as he trailed his fingertips over your bare shoulder, up to your cheek, before coming to rest in your hair.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” you murmured finally, not wanting to disrupt the peaceful atmosphere of the morning.

“Wow,” he said. “Time flies.”

A few moments passed, and part of you lit up with the hope that he might ask you to stay. But then the warmth of his hand left your head, and the warmth of his body left your side. You kept your face buried in the pillow, eyes screwed tight against the tears that you felt rising in you. You could feel the strain in your throat as you forced yourself to hold them back.

“Why didn’t you,” he started and then stopped as his voice wavered. A moment passed, and the another, and then another, until you thought he might have decided to leave it alone. But then he began again.

“Why didn’t you keep in touch?”

The question felt like salt added to an already aching wound. You forced yourself to think back to the day you’d left. You’d been eighteen then, ready to get out of your hometown and explore the world. Ready for new adventures in unfamiliar cities. And that’s exactly what you’d found.

Nevertheless, you’d promised Kevin that you’d keep in touch, keep whatever it was the two of you had back then alive. In this you had failed. You’d been too wrapped up in your luxurious new life, meeting luxurious new people and seeing luxurious new places.

“I did at first, I just-” you stopped yourself when you heard, more than felt, your voice crack. What good were excuses anyway.

“Yeah,” you heard him sigh. “At first.” The bed moved underneath you as he stood up. You opened your eyes then, only to feel any lingering hope that you had left being ripped away as you watched him turn towards the door.

“I’m going down the street to get breakfast,” he said, but you knew what he really meant was: you better be gone when I get back. With that he left the bedroom, his bare feet making so little noise on the hardwood floors that it was like he was a ghost.

You wanted to call his name, ask him to stay a little longer, but that was too selfish even for you. You couldn’t ask him to wait for the same reason you knew he wouldn’t ask you to stay.

——

As you stood in the airport saying goodbye to your parents a strange wave of deja vu washed over you. Four and a half years and almost nothing had changed, except this time he wasn’t here to say goodbye.

78 notes · View notes

yslkook · 4 years ago

Text

birthday b

pairing: taehyung x reader

warnings: cursing, lots and lots of alcohol (because it’s me), suggestive sexy times/themes, grinding, dancing, making out, flirting

a/n: enjoy this brain dump. like i said, i only follow VIBES not PLOT. check out the other parts here.

word count: 6589

***

Your birthday had coincidentally fallen the same few weeks that BTS was going to be in New York City for a slew of press events. The coincidence is a happy, welcome one, one that Taehyung realized before you. It’s another year in your late twenties, or early thirties but really who’s counting, and once upon a time, you’d be having an unneeded existential crisis over it. Over the fact that society now considered you to be too old, too old for love, fun, hobbies, interests. But you’re not that person anymore.

All you’re thinking about is the long laundry list of errands to run before your birthday. You’re planning a night out for you and your friends, inclusive of Taehyung and the boys, if they want to come. You had decided to get an AirBnb for everyone so nobody would have to worry about getting home. Instead, you’d all be able to leave together. You still have to buy beer, liquor and chasers. Pari said she would be in charge of snacks, utensils and cups. You had given her one of the keys to the AirBnb as well on the morning of, just in case.

And so, you zip through Brooklyn in the early morning of your birthday night out, gathering the supplies you need. Your arms ache by the time you reach the AirBnb to drop off the trunk load of alcohol from your car. You still have a few things to finish up with work before you can truly begin your day, but you don’t mind.

After all, you’ll be seeing your boy and your friends soon.

You're barely able to text Taehyung or any of the boys to see how they’re doing- your manager has you in meetings for the majority of the morning. You don’t complain though, it makes the day go faster.

You sink in your chair with a sigh and stretch your arms above your head, daydreaming about finally seeing Taehyung after what feels like forever. He’s supposed to come to your apartment to get ready with you before heading to the AirBnb to meet up with the rest of your friends

Your workday is over relatively quickly after that, you had been sure to do everything ahead of time so that you could properly enjoy the time you had with Taehyung. It took a few long nights and early mornings, but if it meant more time with him, then it was worth it.

You text him-

you: see you soon 💛

A wave of fatigue washes over you. It wouldn’t be so bad to take a quick nap, right? You convince yourself to lay in your bed for just twenty minutes. Just twenty minutes...

Since you’re you and incapable of twenty minute naps, you wake up an hour later to your phone ringing obnoxiously. You groan and blink sleepiness out of your eyes and see Taehyung calling you. Poor guy’s probably been in the lobby, impatiently waiting for you.

“Tae,” You murmur, “I fell accidentally fell asleep-”

You hear him snort, “I’m outside your door. Come let me in, princess.”

You vaguely hear the muffled sound of his voice from outside your front door and your heart skips a beat as you nearly sprint out of your bedroom. You throw your front door open and nearly drop your phone at the sight of Taehyung in front of you, in all his glory.

Your face nearly hurts from how wide you’re smiling and you immediately pull him inside, pulling him in for a close hug.

“Hi,” You murmur, pressing your nose into his neck. He smells just as you recall, like wood and mint. You pull away for a second and hold his face in your hands. You touch him as if he’ll disappear, as if he’s stardust that slips through your fingers.

“Hi,” Taehyung whispers and presses his forehead to yours.

That familiar overwhelmed feeling returns once more, and you feel your eyes watering despite the bright smile on your face.

“You happy to see me, or what?” Taehyung says with a small smile and wipes at your cheeks.

“Shut up,” You laugh, “Happy tears, Tae. Happy tears.”

His own eyes are watering at the sight of yours. Your sensitive boy. You peck his lips and before you can pull away to ask him any questions, he deepens the kiss instantly. His hands are tight and close against your waist, disappearing under your shirt quickly. His touch feels like electricity sliding up your veins, curling into your blood and igniting desires that had been locked away for so long.

You surge forward, pouring all of it- the burn, the intensity, the way he makes you feel like liquid gold, back into him. Taehyung moans into your mouth softly before pulling away, both of you panting.

“Baby,” You sigh dreamily, running a hand through his hair, “Do you want water? Are you hungry? I just made food last night-”

“Ate before I came here,” Taehyung says, kissing up your neck and tightening his hold around you when your knees begin to give out, “Now lemme eat you-”

“God, what a line,” You roll your eyes and pinch his arm but allow him to carry you to your bedroom.

And so begins your birthday week.

***

You spend the better part of two hours naked in bed with Taehyung, fingers ghosting over his skin as he tells you about how his week is going, and about the antics that the boys have been getting up to. You turn closer to him, brushing his hair out of his eyes and getting distracted by his pout.

Taehyung pulls you on top of him and you swat his shoulder at the sudden movement. He lazily cups your cheek and throws one of his hands behind his head to prop himself up on your headboard.

“Will everyone be coming tonight? To the club?” You ask hopefully, “I would love to see them...”

“Jungkook might need convincing,” Taehyung muses, “I’m sure you can work your charms and convince him.”

“You think incredibly highly of me,” You scoff, but already text Jungkook to ask if he’ll be there.

"We have to start getting ready soon,” Taehyung reminds you gently when you yawn. You slide off of him and curl into his side, your eyes already closed. You rub his chest to coax him to sleep with you for a bit.

“Tired,” You mumble, “Just nap with me, baby. Twenty minutes.”

“You just took a nap,” Taehyung grumbles but acquiesces, pulling you closer into his chest and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

And he sleeps.

***

“Princess,” Taehyung says softly, nudging your shoulder, “Wake up. Pari is going to kill both of us if we don’t start getting ready now.”

He thinks you believe it, because you immediately roll out of bed and pull your outfit out of your closet and hang it up on the coat rack on your door.

“Fuck,” You groan, “I don’t know why I’m so tired.”

“Want me to put you to bed again?” Taehyung winks at you.

You pointedly ignore him.

“We have to eat, too,” You say, pulling your makeup bag out of your drawer and setting aside your jewelry, “Will you go warm up some of the food in the fridge before either of us change?”

“Yes, dear,” Taehyung says and disappears into your kitchen.

You join him in a few minutes, wrapping yourself around his waist and kissing his neck. He feeds you quickly, with the knowledge that you still have to do your makeup and hair.

“Thank you,” You kiss his cheek before scampering back into your bedroom, “Take whatever you want and eat more, baby!”

***

You had holed yourself in your bathroom, wanting to do your makeup with the bright lighting. Taehyung has been itching to watch you get ready, but you had banned him from entering. He’d distract you, while it was a welcome distraction, you and Taehyung had already received a few scolding texts from Pari.

You finally unlock the door after a while, already missing the feeling of his gaze on you. Butterflies erupt in your belly in anticipation of his reaction- you know you look good. You’re wearing a backless red jumpsuit that dips in just the right way and is tight in just the right places. The pant legs are wide and with heels, your legs look good.

You know this. Your eye makeup is dark, bringing out the dark of your eyes but your lips are glossy. Gold hoops hang from your ears, tickling your jaw when you turn your head. You adjust the cuff bracelet on your right wrist and the thin bracelets on your left as you carry out a choker and a thin, gold chain, one of Taehyung’s.

One of Taehyung’s rings sits on your left hand.

“Baby,” You finally say, exiting the bathroom and holding up the choker and the necklace, “which one should I wear?”

Taehyung ignores you in favor of lazily casting his gaze over you. His lips are parted and eyes are wide as he takes you in.

You know you look good. But it’s nice to know he thinks so as well.

“Damn,” Taehyung mutters, taking your hand and spinning you around. His hand ghosts over your bare back and you shiver at his touch, “Definitely the necklace. But damn.”

“Is that a good damn or a bad damn?” You whisper.

“Always a good damn,” Taehyung replies, “But damn. You’re sexy.”

He pushes his nose into your neck, dropping kisses below your ear. You’re already putty in his arms, your knees buckling when his hands squeeze your ass.

“You look so good,” Taehyung continues, “So pretty, my pretty girl...”

“Really?” you nearly squeak, your hands running up his chest, “And what about you?”

You pull away from him, holding him at arm’s length. Your throat is dry when you take him in- he’s matching you with his red mock turtleneck and grey speckled blazer. A new pair of earrings sits on his right ear, as well as a glint of a necklace under his collar.

You sigh dreamily. This is your man and you can’t wait to jump his bones again. You try to kiss him, but he turns his cheek. A glossy stamp of your lips shines on his jaw.

“You’ll ruin your makeup and then we’ll both be dead,” Taehyung says, eyes full of adoration and lust.

“What’s the point of it being my birthday if I can’t touch my man,” you mutter and he laughs.

“I’ll keep your phone and your cards. Don’t worry about a purse, princess. I know you hate them.”

You kiss his lips quickly in gratitude.

“Hey,” you murmur, “You’re wonderful and sweet and I’m happy to call you mine. And also incredibly hot. But that’s besides the point.”

How far you’ve come- being able to voice to him exactly how much he means to you. And still you don’t know if he knows.

Your fingers slide into his hair for a second, ignoring his soft protest. You admire the way his hair falls over his forehead and press a kiss to his temple. Then his eyelid. Then the corner of his mouth.

“Your lips are dry,” You mumble and snake a hand inside his pockets for his mango flavored balm to apply to his lips.

“Stop tryin’ to seduce me,” Taehyung says but makes no movement to stop you.

“We should go,” You say softly, but you both stay in place. You can’t help but blink at him, admiring his soft, chiseled features.

“Let’s take a picture. While we’re still alone and you’re still sober,” Taehyung says, already pulling his phone out.

He starts taking photos of you but you complain- you’ve never liked posing for photos by yourself. He ignores you, telling you to fix your face and smile at him.

Taehyung pulls you into his side and flips the camera so that you see yourself on the screen. You take a few selfies with him, one of you both smiling, one of him kissing your cheek, one with his fingers under your chin and a silly one.

“Okay, now we can go,” You say, and tug your hand into his, “Do you have my keys?”

“Yes, princess,” Taehyung says and feels his pockets to make sure he has everything, “Let’s go. Uber’s here already.”

“When did you-“ You ask and then shake your head, “I could’ve just driven, Tae.”

“The birthday girl lifting a finger on her birthday? I think not,” Taehyung says, opening the door for you.

“It’s not even my birthday yet.”

“Shut up, I’m trying to be cute.”

“You seem to be struggling with that.”

Taehyung pinches your waist at that and takes your hand briefly. You’ve never been quite fond of PDA, and neither has Taehyung. But you don’t mind when he holds your hand like this.

The elevator is empty when it finally opens up and you stand on opposite sides. You huff when the elevator dings every few floors and begins to crowd up. You move closer to Taehyung, finally standing in front of him and pressing yourself closer to him. A hand tightens around your waist to hold you steady and you feel a flutter of his lips over your shoulder.

He thinks you’re irresistible.

When you finally leave the elevator, his hand shifts to your lower back as he helps you into the car. You confirm the location with the Uber driver and lean into Taehyung as buildings pass you by.

You’re going to have a good night, you’re sure of it. Taehyung subtly texts Pari to tell her that they’re on their way and glances to you to make sure you’re unaware.

***

“We’re probably the only ones here, maybe we can have a quickie before anyone arrives,” You grin mischievously, shoving the keys to the Airbnb into the keyhole.

“Definitely,” Taehyung rolls his eyes, not that you see.

“I thought I left this door closed when I left this morning,” You say absently.

“Oh did you?” Taehyung says airily and takes your hand to the living room. He drops your bag of both of your clothes to change into for after the night ends near the staircase.

Your back is facing the couches and the decorations. You don’t see much else, or anyone else, except for Taehyung who subtly looks over your head.

It’s eerily quiet, and before the question slips from your tongue-

“Surprise!” A loud chorus comes from behind you and you spin around instantly, coming face to face with all of your friends.

There are streamers, balloons and decorations that you certainly hadn’t put up this morning. A lump grows in your throat, your heart in your throat when you see Pari beaming at you knowingly.

Taehyung squeezes your shoulder and gives you a moment with your best friend.

“I can’t believe you,” You say through teary eyes, “I thought we said lowkey this year!”

“I couldn’t do lowkey when your boyfriend and his friends would all be in our city at the same time as your birthday. The stars aligned and we’re celebrating that,” Pari says warmly and you hug her right.

“And before you say anything, I wanted to, it was no problem and your boy is great at keeping secrets. Good taste too,” Pari says as an afterthought.

“Yeah, he’s a keeper,” You murmur, casting your eyes on him. He’s already mingling with some of your other friends- friends from work and from college. He blends in seamlessly with your friends and you bring Pari to the table with all of the liquor and chasers and cups.

“Oh no, you drink out of this,” Pari says and shoves a bejeweled glass with pink hearts and purple stars.

It’s obnoxious and you love it.

Pari makes you a drink, and you fully expect it to be strong and tasty.

“Cheers,” You shrug and clink glasses with her.

“I’m expecting you to make a speech later.”

“Why? It’s just a birthday. Not a wedding.”

“When was the last time everyone was together like this? Might as well be a wedding. Pretty sure Chae is ordained...”

You roll your eyes and swat her shoulder.

“Thank you for everything. For being my best friend,” you say sincerely and hold her hands.

“No crying. Your makeup looks too good for you to cry,” But she's misty eyed, too, “Taehyung may be your soulmate but I’m always gonna be number one.”

You let out a watery laugh and give her another hug with a nod. You take her with you to introduce her to the rest of the boys. All of them had showed up today, even Jungkook who allegedly needed convincing.

“Jungkook, you came,” You murmur fondly, pulling him in for a tight hug.

He’s always reminded you of a little brother you never had.

“Of course I did,” He grins, doe eyes sparkling.

“I’m so glad you all could come,” You murmur, giving them all tight hugs, “I know how busy you’ve been.”

“If anyone knows, it’s you,” Jimin quips and you smile.

You introduce Pari to them and let them talk amongst themselves, spotting out who has a drink and who doesn’t. Jimin throws an arm around you and helps you make drinks, his smile soft and sexy in a way that only he can pull off.

“Happy birthday,” Jimin says, “You look great.”

“Birthday’s at midnight,” You remind him, “You look great, too. As always.”

Talking to Taehyung’s friends was just easy. He loves that you get along so well with them, even if it took you some time to open up.

Jimin eyes your neck, specifically your necklace and then zeroes in on the hand gripping your glass. It’s your right hand, the one with Taehyung’s ring on it. He gives you a Cheshire grin and a wink and you roll your eyes even though you want to hide.

You pour Jimin a drink and cheers with him, asking him how he likes the city and how he’s doing. He still has an arm around you, and to be honest you’re used to it. Out of all of the boys, Jimin is by far the most physically affectionate with you. Besides Taehyung, of course. You love that the man Taehyung has known the longest approves of you, and it was something that you had been stressed over back in the beginning. But now, they’re family to you, too. It’s nice to have six brothers who care about you the way that they do.

By then, Taehyung spots you fixing up more drinks and rolls his eyes. You’ve always gotta be doing something, unable to sit still and enjoy a party meant for you.

“Thought I told you not to lift a finger,” Taehyung teases and takes the cup from you.

“Hey, I was helping,” Jimin protests.

You roll your eyes at both of them as they bicker and scratch Taehyung’s back subtly before leaving them to their devices and mingling with your other friends.

After a few drinks, shots, drinking games, more shots, pictures with the balloons and with your friends, a tipsy speech made by you with a few tears, Ubers are finally called. Your friends are all drunk, unable to resist your insistence on taking shots and pouring alcohol straight from the bottle into their mouths. The boys had gotten you a bottle of very expensive champagne that you had nearly cried over and Taehyung had only given you a soft look. The bottle had been popped in the balcony and passed around to everyone to take a chug out of.

The club you had booked a VIP area at is a club that celebrities frequented at. There’s plenty of security and privacy there, as your research had shown you. You didn’t want trouble for the boys- the last thing you wanted was for them to get in trouble for something you had done.

The euphoria that comes along with drunkenness sinks into your blood as you lean into Taehyung. He knows what alcohol does to you, makes you a little more affectionate. A little more keen to displays of public affection that you normally wouldn’t initiate. His arm is slung over your shoulder and you clasp your hand with his, looking at him with hazy eyes.

“What?” Taehyung asks, squeezing your shoulder.

“Nothin. Just really happy you’re here,” You say with a bright smile. He squeezes you tighter in response.

Pari had insisted that you and Taehyung be the first ones to leave and that she would lock up. She waves you off when you protest, so you ride in your Uber with Taehyung next to you, Hoseok in the front and Jungkook next to you.

“Are you all having fun?” You ask raspily, leaning forward to hear what Hoseok has to say.

“Of course, I’m glad we came out. Gettin’ the royal treatment,” Hoseok winks at you and you giggle.

“Nothin’ but the best for you, Hobi,” You mumble, “Whaddabout you, Jungkook?”

You tickle under his chin, a habit you’d picked up from Taehyung. He gives you a tipsy smile with shining eyes and you melt a little.

“It’s your birthday, but feel like it’s mine,” Jungkook laughs.

“It’s our birthday,” You correct him, stifling your own laugh with your hand. You lean your head on Jungkook’s shoulder, telling them what the buildings that are passing you by are.

Taehyung watches you, your lips pulled into a permanent smile and eyes twinkling with laughter as Jungkook and Hoseok make you laugh. You say something, something silly, and send Jungkook and Hoseok into laughter as well. He thinks he might be in love with you, or at the very least, in love with your laugh.

“Oh! I think we’re here,” You jump in your seat, leaning over Taehyung to catch a glimpse of the club, “Thank you for the ride!”

Taehyung helps you out of the car so you don’t trip over your feet, as you’re prone to do. After a flash of your identification and a drop of your name, you’re led to the dark VIP area that you had booked. It’s far enough from the dance floor that people won’t accidentally venture towards you, but close enough that you can hop in and out as you please.

“Welcome home for the night, boys,” You murmur.

***

“It’s past midnight,” Taehyung says, voice low in your ear, “Wanna give you something.”

“Hmm?” You ask but he’s already tugging you away from the couches and into the dance floor. You both disappear into the sea of people and your arms instantly wrap around Taehyung’s neck when he holds you still by your waist.

“Already gave me so much baby,” You mumble into his ear, “Already give me so much.”

“Happy birthday, princess,” He says, pressing his forehead to yours. Your eyes are hazy, but still, he knows the look in your eye. It’s one of adoration.

Taehyung swoops in for a sharp kiss, one that steals your breath away, and he tightens his hold around you. You don’t care that you’re in the middle of a sea of nameless people, all you care about is being in your boyfriend’s arms.

Your hips roll into his slowly when he deepens the kiss and his lips find your favorite spot behind your ear. A soft, quiet moan just for him fills his ears.

“Dance with me, princess,” his voice is husky in your ear as he turns you around, your back to his chest.

Your head immediately finds his shoulder when he pulls you in closer and grinds into you to the beat of the music. His hands are tight on your hips, guiding you to roll your hips back into his.

His lips are on your neck as he whispers to you how pretty you are. You nearly whimper in response and he cups your jaw to tilt you towards him for a kiss. His fingers shift and are loose around your neck, arousal shooting down your spine at the simple action. You snake a hand to his hair and Taehyung moans into your mouth when you lightly tug.

His arms are tight around you, the scent of his cologne washing over you, and in his arms you are protected. Taehyung is wrapped around you, lips chasing yours greedily. Your gloss is stained on his skin, but neither of you care.

A broken whisper of his name comes from your lips when you pull him in for another harsher kiss.

“My pretty girl,” Taehyung murmurs.

You’re mush in his arms and you both know it. You hum in response, eyes dark and dazed and slick with happiness. You can feel taehyung against your ass, through the layers of clothing and it makes your stomach flip. Much like everything else he does. You hold his hand tightly, the hand wrapped around your waist and squeeze his fingers as he rolls his hips into yours.

It’s just you and him for a moment, in the entire world. It’s just you and him.

You turn around to face him, melting into his chest and peppering kisses over his face and the nape of his neck.

“Tae,” You murmur hoarsely, “Baby-“

He hums into your neck, mouth pressed into your sweet skin. Your knees are weakening and Taehyung pulls you closer into his chest.

“Baby,” You mumble throatily.

“Princess,” He mimics into your neck.

“Baby,” You repeat with hooded eyes, “We should go back. To our friends-“

“They’re not goin’ anywhere,” comes Taehyung’s nonchalant response.

“But- you guys never get to go out and have fun like this- wanna make it special for you an’ them, too,” You trail off, “Want you to have a fun night. Without cameras or anything-“

Taehyung pulls away abruptly but he still holds you close so you don’t nearly fall over. He cups your cheek tenderly and you lean into his warmth.

You’re always thinking about others even when it’s supposed to be your day.

He plants a sweet kiss to your forehead and squeezes your hand.

“Okay. Whatever my birthday princess wants,” Taehyung says and steers you back towards the VIP section.

Pari gives you a knowing look and wiggles her eyebrows at you when she sees your bitten lips and Taehyung’s ruffled collar. You roll your eyes. If it was any other night, you’d be flustered but tonight, you can’t bring it in yourself to care.

Pari hands you a drink, freshly poured from the ice buckets on the table in front of you. You watch curiously as several of the club girls approach you and your friends with bottles of your favorite tequila in one hand and sparklers in another.

You cast Pari a look, as if to say seriously?

You’re suddenly very flustered, your cheeks heating up at all of the attention and the pretty women surrounding you. Jimin wraps an arm around your shoulders, throwing a grin at the woman pouring you a drink. Jimin bats his lashes at her and she smirks at him, shifting her gaze to you.

“I hear you’re the birthday girl?” She asks, but already knows the answer. Her eyes are shameless as she looks at you and Jimin, her lips curling into an even deeper smirk.

“Uh,” You mumble, your brain seemingly short-circuiting, “Yeah.”

“Yeah, she’s the birthday girl,” Jimin says, leaning forward.

“In that case, happy birthday,” The woman says with a wink and hands you a drink. You don’t even know what it’s mixed with, it could be straight tequila and you wouldn’t know.

“Hey! None for me?” Jimin exclaims and you roll your eyes, shrugging out from under his arm.

Taehyung is standing next to Jungkook, Namjoon and Hoseok and he’s laughing at you. It looks like Jungkook is scolding Taehyung. You already know why.

“Stop making fun of me,” You whine, swatting Taehyung’s shoulder.

“Watching you talk to pretty girls is worse than watching Jungkook talk to pretty girls,” Taehyung teases, sending himself into a fit of laughter. It earns himself another smack to his shoulder, by both you and Jungkook.

“I was ambushed,” You protest, but you laugh with him.

“The best kind of ambush, if you ask me,” Hoseok chimes in.

“Good thing nobody asked you, Hobi,” You deadpan, “Out of all of you, Jimin’s the only one with the guts to approach anyone here. So really, who’s the trainwreck now?”

“You’re so hot when you’re insulting them,” Taehyung says, his boxy smile never leaving his face.

“Except for Jungkook. Kook is a sweetheart and if anything happens to him, I’ll kill all of you and then myself,” You say easily, earning yourself three eyerolls.

“That’s not necessary-” Jungkook protests, the apples of his cheeks reddened from alcohol.

“Hey, maybe we don’t wanna talk to girls! We’re here for you, not for girls,” Namjoon says and your eyes soften.

“Okay, valid. But if you do want to talk to anyone, go for it. I want you all to have fun,” You say earnestly.

“Yeah, maybe we’ll sneak off to the dancefloor like you and Taehyung,” Yoongi adds seriously, sending the boys into a fit of giggles.

“Keep it up, Yoongi. You’re on my shit list now,” You joke and nudge his shoulder.

You turn your head to cast a fond smile at your friends and you see Pari talking to Jin quite closely. You wonder if that means anything, or if they’re genuinely just talking. You choose not to jump to conclusions, and instead hand Taehyung your drink in favor of some water.

***

You fail to notice Jimin give Taehyung a glance when you sit on the comfortable sofa, next to some of your friends from college. You can feel your feet beginning to ache and decide to give your feet a rest.

You should’ve known they were up to something when Jungkook winks at you. Sweet Jungkook winking at you. Before you can ask him if something is stuck in his eye, Jimin is on one knee and takes your hand in his.

“What are you doing,” You ask dryly, “If you’re about to ask me to marry you, the answer is no-”

“It’s your birthday. So this is our present,” Jimin says as Taehyung and Jungkook stand on either side of him.

Taehyung laughs at the confused look on your face. Before you can interrogate them further, he tips your chin up by the hook of his index finger and tells you to relax.

Your eyes widen when Jungkook nearly sits in your lap, his long legs folded at the knee on either side of your hips. He pulls away, enough so that you have to look up to catch a glimpse of his face. You’re eye level with his crotch, his thighs flexing only five inches away from you.

Your face heats up but you can’t help the choked laugh from exiting your throat.

Lap dances. They’re all giving you lap dances.

Jungkook is singing along to the song, his sweet features twisted into something seductive and sexy as he gyrates his hips in your face. He lowers his hips to yours, brushing against you but only slightly.

“Happy birthday,” He whispers in your ear before giving you another wink and swiveling his hips in your lap.

You think you’re ready to pass away. All of your friends are cheering you on as Jimin crawls into your lap next, and he’s even more pushy and touchy than Jungkook. He has one leg on the couch as he comes close to you and then he moves like fluid around you, his hips shifting and undulating to the rhythm of the song. He even has the audacity to allow his hand to float down his chest before thrusting his hips in your face.

Your face is burning.

And then comes Taehyung, looking at you like you’re the only one in the entire club. His eyes are dark and playful, his jaw set. You spread your legs further with a grin and welcome him into your embrace. He sits in your lap, his legs on either side of you and grinds his hips into yours in a way that only he is allowed to do. His hair falls into his eyes and you instantly reach up to brush the strands away from his face. A soft exhale of his name comes out of your mouth without you meaning to.

He pulls away abruptly, with a maddening smirk, probably to tease you more. But you pull him by his shirt with a rough tug and push your lips to his impatiently.

Another loud chorus of cheers comes from around you, wolf whistles from your friends but you only pay attention to Taehyung. It’s when you pull a soft moan from him that you remember where you are and pull your lips away from his with a soft pop.

“You’re insane,” You say, shoving his shoulder and peering over him to give a shy grin to Jungkook and Jimin, “All of you.”

“Happy birthday, princess,” Taehyung says so earnestly that you can’t help but drop another kiss to his wet lips.

“I think Pari wants a lap dance, too,” You say once Taehyung helps you up.

Pari protests but Taehyung only winks at her.

“That can be arranged.”

***

It’s after well after 3 AM by the time you all return to the Airbnb. Taehyung helps you take your makeup off, change out of your outfit and put on comfortable clothes- that process itself takes nearly thirty minutes on it’s own.

Of course, it doesn’t help that you keep getting distracted by his lips. He finally gives in when you at least put a shirt on, and he allows himself to get lost in your touch for what feels like only a few minutes.

“Hey, I’m coming in, so you both better be dressed and not having birthday sex,” Pari announces as she turns the lock on the door.

You ignore her and ignore Taehyung’s attempt to pull away from you, and instead press your lips to his neck. Pari clears her throat and you shoot her a lazy grin.

“Pizza’s here,” Pari says, “If you’re into that sort of thing.”

“Thanks, Pari-“

“Pari,” You whine, “I jus wanna have sex! Lots and lots of birthday sex-“

Taehyung covers your mouth with his hand to get you to stop running your mouth.

“I know, honey. It’s what you deserve,” Pari coos, “But you’ve got about thirteen people in this house who don’t know how to shut the fuck up. Talk about setting the mood, huh?”

You peek yourself out of Taehyung’s arms and launch yourself towards Pari.

“Jus wanna have lots and lots of sex, Pari,” You whisper like it’s a secret, “Do you wanna have lots and lots of sex, Pari?”

“Hey!” You exclaim, remembering something, “You were talking to Jin for most of the night! Where’s Jin-“

You’re about to bound into the living room wearing only a shirt. No bra, no underwear, no pants. Taehyung is certain you’d be mortified in the morning if you did so.

He pulls you back by your waist and you immediately forget what you were about to do.

Pari rolls her eyes at you fondly, casting an eye over to Taehyung with a nod and closes the door behind her. You turn in Taehyung’s arms, clumsily trying to help him out of his clothes. But instead you end up making a mess of your limbs and you sigh heavily. He sits you on the bed and tugs you into clothes, while you absently paw at him.

You brush his hair out of his eyes and cup his face tenderly, watching as he pulls away to change into black sweatpants and a white t-shirt. He slips into the bathroom for a few minutes and you vaguely hear the sink running. Taehyung pushes his hair away from his face with a headband and he gestures for you to follow him into the bathroom.

“Come wash your face, princess.”

“Too lazy to,” You shrug and flop onto the bed.

“You’ll be mad about it tomorrow.”

“That’s a future problem.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and yanks you up, ignoring your noise of protest.

“I’ll wash your face for you,” Taehyung says, already washing his hands and pulling out a travel sized cleanser.

You close your eyes and lean back against his shoulder, humming as he gently rubs circles into your face. He wets a cotton pad with your eye makeup remover and gently pads it over your eyelids, over your lashes and around your eyes. Before you can protest about how long it’s taking, he washes your face of the cleanser and quickly moisturizes your face after realizing that you hadn’t brought your toner with you.

“Done,” He murmurs and kisses your cheek.

“Thank you, baby,” You smile and pull him in for a tight hug, “Pizza?”

“Pizza.”

***

You’re seated on the floor with a box of pizza, a carton of noodles and water next to you. Pari had ordered a ton of food- on Taehyung’s card, at his insistence. Jungkook is seated next to you, head on your shoulder as you feed him as if it’s second nature.

“The best pizza I’ve ever had,” He groans and you laugh.

“Everything tastes good at this hour,” You reply and take a bite for yourself.

Music is playing low in the background as you all eat and chatter amongst yourselves. You offer the pizza box to your friends seated on the couch.

“Everyone drink water and eat. You’ll all be hungover tomorrow,” Pari advises, “Except for Jungkook, he’s still young.”

“Hey, we’re all still young,” You protest, raising your water bottle at her, “Cheers to eternal youth.”

“You tellin’ me drinking and going out now is the same as drinking and going out when we were twenty-two?”

“Hey! I’m not twenty-two!” Jungkook protests with a mouth full of pizza.

“Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean,” Pari rolls her eyes.

Your eyelids are starting to feel heavy, your smile tired and lazy. Taehyung can tell you’re getting sleepy, from the way you listen to Pari and Jungkook bicker, with added quips from Jin and Jimin. Your eyes are glazed over as you absently laugh. You meet Taehyung’s eyes and he subtly gestures for you to come sit next to him.

You immediately do without warning and Jungkook nearly falls to the floor at your abrupt shift. He’s about to tease you for it but decides against it when you sit next to Taehyung and lean into him tiredly. Taehyung brings an arm around your shoulder to pull you in closer and your eyes begin to close of their own volition.

Once your breaths start to even out, Taehyung murmurs to Pari that he’ll put you to bed and then come out to help clean up. Pari waves him off, but he comes back anyway.

Taehyung says a quick goodnight to everyone as they start dispersing to their allocated beds and very nearly misses Jin walking into Pari’s bedroom with her.

And apparently he missed Jungkook sneaking into his bedroom, because he’s curled on his side facing you in the bed.

Taehyung shakes his head in amusement and lays next to you on your other side. You instinctively move closer to him, following his warmth. He presses a kiss to your hairline and closes his eyes as well, allowing sleep to take him.

#taehyung x reader #taehyung fluff #taehyung #bts x reader #kim taehyung

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welcometophu · 3 years ago

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The Meaning of Home, Chapter 3

The Meaning of Home Chapter 3

Tags for all Welcome to PHU novels will be available at the PHU tag list on Pillowfort. This list is under construction as of Sept. 5, 2021.

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“You could have mentioned.” Pawel fills a bowl with chili from the slow cooker, then adds a scoop of spiced chicken and cheese, and tops it with sour cream. He hands it to his dad and points to the table. “There’s salad, too.”

“More meat, Dad,” Conor says, handing him his bowl. “Beans are weird. They have a really strange texture.”

“They’re also good for you.” Pawel doesn’t skimp on his son’s bowl; he’s seen just how much his kid can pack away. “And you need to eat salad, too.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Conor mutters. He slides into one of the chairs at the tiny round table that sits between the kitchenette and living room. When all three of them sit down, there’s barely room to move. Pawel’s afraid he’s going to take a bite and end up elbowing his father in the nose.

Still, it’s good to have real food with them, and know that both of them are eating something healthy.

Pawel sits back a bit from the table so he doesn’t knock knees, and holds his own bowl in his hands. The chili isn’t as spicy as he usually makes it at home, but that’s probably better for his father’s stomach anyway.

“Could’ve mentioned what?” Dad asks.

He sounds so innocent.

“That the guy who takes in fosters and happens to work with you is Leo Papa. As in my ex-boyfriend Leo,” Pawel says dryly. “We bumped into him and Emma and another one of his fosters—”

“Jennie,” Conor supplies.

“—At the grocery store,” Pawel finishes, as if Conor hadn’t interrupted. “And oh, funny thing.” He glares at Dad, who blinks back at him, calmly eating. “Turns out Leo’s married to Colt Harrison. My other high school ex.”

“Emma’s dads are the guys you dated in high school?” Conor asks. “They’re really cool. Why didn’t you keep dating them?”

“Leo graduated and left. Colt and I went to different schools. I met your mom.” There’s a lot more to each of those stories, but Pawel doesn’t want to get into the details right here and now. He’s not sure he wants to talk about the drama of his teen life with his son in general.

Conor already knows enough of the details, like the fact that he was born while Pawel was still in school.

“Colt’s really calmed down,” Dad muses. “He used to have a lot of attitude when he was a kid. I remember when you first started dating him, and he’d look down at our house. He thought everything should be served up on a silver platter. Being a dad’s taught him a lot more about reality than anything else did, I think.”

“Are you telling me he doesn’t drive a Porsche anymore?”

Dad barks out a low laugh. “Where would he put five kids in a Porsche? They’ve got practical cars. Although if they take in any more kids, they’ll need one of those big vans, or a miniature bus.”

“Emma wants Dad to find her parents, so she can go home,” Conor reminds them. “She says she’s not staying. I’ll be sad when she goes, though. And her house is fun. It’s kind of chaotic. I mean, Duke’s quiet—he doesn’t talk at all—but Matt’s always saying stuff, and he keeps changing into different animals. And Duke and Matt fight, even if Duke doesn’t yell. He still seems to get his point across, and then he chases Matt, and yeah, it gets messy. You met Jennie—she’s cool, for a little kid, but she’s always eating. Nevaeh’s really pretty. She’s learning how to drive.”

Conor shovels food into his mouth, a spoonful between every sentence. His spoon clatters back into a mostly empty bowl, a few beans lingering in the bottom. “Can I go call Alan? We’re going to game tonight. I got my homework done while you were cooking.”

“Salad,” Dad reminds him, and Pawel’s thankful for the backup, even if Dad himself hasn’t taken any yet.

Conor puts just enough lettuce and vegetables into his bowl to satisfy the requirement, and finishes it quickly. He drops his spoon on the table. “Gonna go call Alan. Bye!”

The place is small enough that even though the door to the guest room bangs as it bounces closed, then open again, Pawel can still clearly hear Conor shouting a hello to Alan.

“How the hell do they have five kids?” Pawel can’t imagine trying to wrangle more than one.

“There are two of them. There’s a better adult to kid ratio, plus you know Leo’s family helps out.” Dad pulls the salad towards him, heaping his bowl full. “That’s what family does, and you know it. Ours is just smaller than most.”

Him, his dad, and Conor. Yeah. It’s a pretty small family.

Which reminds him, he should probably tell his dad about Chelsea.

Dad points his fork at him. “I’ll agree, though, I didn’t see it coming,” he continues. Pawel stays silent; Chelsea can wait if Dad’s going to tell him more about what the hell’s been going on while he was absent. “Leo and Colt were good together; have been since they first met. But when Leo came in and said he needed a few days off to go pick up a foster kid—almost four years ago, now—it was a hell of a surprise. Matt had a tough time of it, too. His parents gave him up, put him right into the foster system because he’d Emerged as Clan. If Lucy hadn’t gotten him out….” Dad trails off, shaking his head.

“Leo said something about Lucy and Rowan,” Pawel says slowly. “I have two students whose parents are in a triad, and two of those parents are Lucy and Rowan. I’ve spent time with their family in Vermont.”

“Likely the same,” Dad says. “Lucy’s a teacher, and she keeps an eye out for Talented kids who might slip through the cracks otherwise. Apparently she’s been doing it since before the Emergence; it’s just easier now. She’s got a network of teachers, and one of them knows Colt, and that’s how it all came together. Matt did so well with them that when Lucy found out about a thirteen-year-old girl who’d run away from her family with her baby sister, she brought them straight to Leo and Colt, too. Rowan’s a lawyer, and he’s the one who works to make sure the kids are safe, and aren’t going to end up back in bad places. Nevaeh and Jennie’s parents didn’t want a little girl who sparkled all the time, and they were a danger to her, so they were declared unfit.”

“Conor thinks they’ll adopt them. Since Jennie’s grown up with them.” Pawel’s still trying to assimilate it, putting “parents” into the same box as “ex-boyfriends” in his brain. He still sees them both as the awkward teenagers they used to be.

Colt would say he has never been awkward.

He might even be right.

“They’ve thought about it. I think Colt’s looked into it, but even with the parents out of the picture as they are, they’re still alive, so adoption becomes a tricky thing.” Dad picks up his empty bowl along with Conor’s and takes them over to the sink.

Pawel uses the freedom to stretch his legs under the small table. He’s barely eaten anything yet, so he starts working his way through his chili, letting his mind spin.

He should get in touch with Lucy and Rowan. They’ve talked before, more than once actually. Maybe it’d be good to let them know he’s aware of their efforts. That he knows Leo and Colt.

No, not like that. That makes it sound like he knows them better than he does. Until he ran into Leo in the store, he hadn’t seen him in more than a decade. It hasn’t been quite as long for Colt, but close enough.

Still. This sounds like something he should offer help with. Even if he can’t foster, he can help with Lucy’s ability to network down in Unity. He’s sure she could use that, and well, he owes her family for all the help they’ve given in the last year.

He scoops up the last mouthful of chili. That’s decided then. He’ll give them a call later. Or text them. Reach out, anyway.

“Bring me your bowl.” Dad waits until Pawel brings his dishes over before he adds quietly, “Never did figure out if you ended things on good or bad terms, but I know you moped about both of them enough to figure they weren’t easy breakups. They’re both doing well now. They’re good for each other. Leo’s a valuable part of my force, and Colt’s a voice to be reckoned with in the courtroom. They fight for Talented folks to be safe. So if you’re thinking of somehow getting in the middle of this….”

Dad’s voice trails off and he gives Pawel a look.

Pawel has no idea what Dad’s thinking. “Get in the middle of… no. What? I was just going to reach out and offer to be a liaison in Unity, if Lucy and Rowan don’t already have one. And thank them for all the help they’ve given us. And maybe talk to Colt and Leo about whether I can help Emma out. Since apparently people disappearing has become my specialty.”

Dad huffs and turns away. “Fine. Just don’t go making any trouble for them. They’re good folk.”

“I won’t. I’m just going to—” Pawel gestures at the couch, but that’s not really helpful for getting any distance or privacy. “Actually. Why don’t you go put your feet up. I’ll finish the clean up.”

“You cooked.” The protest is half-hearted.

“And I was home all day, so I can clean, too.” Maybe being home support is a good way to thank his dad for everything he’s done. It’s something Pawel can do, anyway.

The TV goes on loud enough that Pawel can hear it clearly over the running water. Pawel takes a moment to tap out a quick message to send to Lucy.

Heard you help find foster homes for Talented kids in need. My son’s met a few of the kids you placed in my home town. If you ever need a contact in Unity, I’d be happy to help.

He leaves his phone face up on the counter.

He’s up to his elbows in suds, scrubbing the inside of the slow cooker, when his phone buzzes. He glances over to see a response from Lucy.

I’ve actually got folks in Unity and Valiant, but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk. I already know you’ve got a vested interest in keeping Talented kids safe, and a larger network means more help. Just like we’ve been telling you with our family in Burlington: lean on people when you need them.

Even people who barely know him are giving him advice.

He lets the screen fade; he’ll reply later when his hands aren’t soaking wet. Instead he finishes filling up the small dishwasher and gets it started. As soon as the rumbling begins, Dad turns up the volume on the TV so he can hear over the rattling of the dishwasher.

It’s just too much noise for Pawel. He makes his way to the guest room, knocking on the half-open door before he nudges it wide enough to step inside. Conor waves a hand, and Pawel takes that as meaning close the door, so he does.

“What are you playing?” Pawel looks at the screen, but all he sees is Alan, who waves at him.

“We haven’t started playing yet.” Conor’s voice is too loud, his headphones still covering his ears. Pawel taps at them, and Conor removes them and switches the sound to the speakers. “We’ve just been talking. Alan was telling me about all the things happening at home. I really like my class and my teacher here, but I really miss home. Except for Marjorie. I don’t really miss her.”

“But you miss me,” Alan says, grinning. “Hi, Mister Szczek.”

They’ve known each other long enough that Polish names, along with the random few words Conor knows and has shared, roll off Alan’s lips like he’s part of the family. Well, he and Conor are schoolyard married, so maybe he is part of the family.

“Hi, Alan. Actually, I’ve got a question for you both.” Pawel sits down on the bed next to Conor, leaning in so he’ll be on camera. “I picked up tickets for SongFest out in Buffalo this weekend. I was thinking you could join us if you boys want.”

“You got us tickets for SongFest? Do I get to see Rory and Thorne on stage? What about that girl? Trish? Is she doing music there, too? You changed your mind! You said I was too young for concerts.” Conor bounces on the bed enough that the laptop wobbles. Pawel reaches out to stabilize it as Alan laughs.

“You’re too young for clubs,” Pawel says. “And this is going to be a long day, out in the hot sun, assuming it doesn’t rain on Saturday. But I figured we could give it a try, and since it’s outside, the music won’t be quite as bad on your ears. You already don’t listen to half of what I say.”

“Mom says my dad and me have selective hearing,” Alan volunteers.

“She’s not wrong. Sometimes it’s better to just not listen. Can’t get in trouble if you don’t hear it,” Conor agrees. His gaze slides sideways, as if he forgot Pawel is sitting there. “Soooooooo,” he draws the word out before his gaze locks back on Alan on the screen. “Can you go with us?”

“We’d be driving out on Friday,” Pawel clarifies. “The actual festival is in Buffalo on Saturday, and it goes late. We’d have a hotel for both nights, and come back on Sunday.”

The smile falls away as Alan shakes his head. “I can’t this weekend. It’s my cousin’s birthday next week, and we’re doing a big family thing this weekend in Boston. She’s my aunt’s miracle baby, and we always get the whole family together to celebrate her. She’s three this year. She’s my oldest aunt and my youngest cousin. I’m youngest, before her.”

Conor ducks his head. “Oh.” He pulls his blanket onto his lap, picking at the fuzz on it.

“We’ll have to find a different weekend for Alan to come out and visit then,” Pawel says firmly. The boys have been apart for two months, and that’s a long time in a nine-year-old’s life. “Then you can introduce Alan to Emma.”

“We’ve met.” Alan sounds cheerful about that. “She’s pretty cool. She and Conor call me sometimes. I think she should come live with you guys when you come home.”

Conor makes a low scoffing noise. “She’s not like a stray dog. We can’t just keep her. She’s already got foster dads, and besides, my dad is going to find her parents. Then she’ll have to go wherever her home really is. Which will suck, because I really like hanging out with her, but it’ll make her happy, so that’s cool.”

“Yeah, that’s really cool you’re going to do that, Mister Szczek,” Alan echoes.

It’s very cool, right up until the moment Pawel thinks about how that means figuring out a plan, and then interacting with Leo and Colt to enact that plan.

“I’ll do my best.” Pawel touches Conor’s shoulder. “Why don’t you guys do your game for a bit. It’s a school night, so you still need to get to bed.”

Conor shakes his head, as if he can shake off the blues. Maybe it works, because he’s smiling when he reaches for his laptop. “Okay, Alan. Let’s do this.”

Pawel is clearly dismissed.

He exits the room, leaving the door propped just enough that he can hear the rumble of Conor talking as he puts his headphones back on, and nothing else. Dad’s half-asleep on the couch, watching a show through his eyelids, so Pawel sinks down there and joins him. As Dad snores softly, Pawel grabs the remote and stops the show. Dad can get back to it later, and he won’t notice Pawel channel surfing while he snoozes.

Time passes in a haze of snippets of comedy and drama. Pawel can’t seem to find anything he really wants to watch, and Dad has no opinions as he naps. Pawel keeps one eye on the time, and he’s just about to call out when he hears Conor yell, “Got to go! Bye!” The sound of the laptop closing is clear enough to make Pawel wince, but he knows that machine has put up with a lot from his son already.

Conor emerges a few minutes later, already in his pajamas. He heads straight for the bathroom, and Pawel can hear the water running as he brushes his teeth and gets ready for bed. By the time Conor makes it into the living room, the noise has disturbed Dad, who sits upright and yawns.

“Bed,” Pawel says firmly, not entirely certain which one of them he’s talking to. Probably both.

“Goodnight son.” Dad squeezes Pawel’s shoulder as he stands. He reels Conor in for a long hug on his way by, then disappears into his own room.

Conor stands there, hands clasped behind his back, his lower lip drawn in between his teeth.

“You want something,” Pawel says.

“Since Alan can’t go and you said you already bought a ticket, can we bring Emma with us to the festival this weekend?” Conor blurts it all out in a rush, biting his lip again when he’s done. “I know you don’t know her really well yet, but she’s nice and we won’t be trouble and it would really be a lot of fun.”

If Pawel takes Emma all the way to Buffalo, he can’t see her foster parents letting her go alone.

Pawel slides his palm over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. He hears the soft, defeated exhale from Conor.

“Okay,” Conor says softly. “I get it.”

“That’s not—” Pawel hesitates, peeking between his fingers at where his son stands there, waiting for an answer. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to her fathers. Foster fathers.” Even without Emma there to correct him, he corrects himself. He understands the importance of terminology. Sometimes you have to make sure you say things the right way. Words have power, even when you’re nine.

Words might even have more power over children. That’s why it’s important to acknowledge the ones they want to use.

Conor darts across the room, plowing into where Pawel is still on the couch for a flying, tackling hug. “Thanks, Dad. I love you. Can I tell Emma you’re going to ask? Should it be a surprise? When are you going to ask?”

So many questions.

So many complications to this one simple request.

Pawel wraps his arms around his son, choosing to just hold on for the moment. He pats Conor on the back, and Conor slowly disengages from the hug, bouncing on his toes as soon as he’s upright.

“I’ll talk to Leo and Colt,” Pawel promises. “But you need to give me time.”

“It’s already Tuesday,” Conor whines. “You said we’re going on Friday. That’s not a lot of time. Wait, what about school? Are you taking me out of school?”

“That’s one of the things I’ll need to talk to Leo and Colt about.” One thing among several. And this is coming out of the blue, after all these years of silence. Because of course Pawel’s son has managed to dump him into chaos. It’s what the Szczeks do.

“For now,” Pawel adds, “go to bed. Let me take care of the adult things, okay?”

“Okay. G’night, Dad!” Conor slams the door to his room behind him.

Pawel’s left on the couch—his bed for the summer—alone with his thoughts.

So. They’re taking Emma to the festival. He promised. If her foster fathers allow her to go.

There are so many ways in which this could get awkward.

It’s up to Pawel to take the first step, so he opens his phone and brings up a text to Leo’s number.

Okay. Dinner. When?

He presses send. There, that’s started. It’s in the hands of his exes now.

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#welcome to phu #welcometophu #the meaning of home

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hockeylvr59 · 5 years ago

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Please Don’t Judge Me Part 4 || Auston Matthews

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: Once again I fail miserably...an update a year is pretty crappy and I’m not even sure if anyone is still interested, but I think I finally figured out where I want this series to go. It probably won’t be more than a part or two longer but we’ll see. Let me know what you think.

Warnings: a curse or two

Word Count: 1,486

~~~~

Soon after it was revealed that you were pregnant with Auston’s baby, the Leafs were eliminated from playoff contention. Auston had insisted that he wanted to be a part of yours and the baby’s life but he hadn’t actually done anything to back up those words. And needless to say, you weren’t holding your breath that he ever would.

In fact, it wouldn’t surprise you if he went to Arizona for the summer and resumed ignoring you. To be frank, Auston doing whatever the hell he wanted was the least of your worries.

Now that Steph knew, she was over at your apartment more frequently and when she wasn’t around she was texting to see if there was anything you needed. There was no doubt in your mind that you were probably going to name Steph and Mitch godparents of your little one and you were grateful for their friendship.

___

As you stood in front of the mirror in your bedroom, you sighed and fiddled with the hem of your shirt, adjusting the way the fabric laid over your ever-expanding bump. You weren’t sure whether the feelings inside of you were more excitement or nerves but either way, you couldn’t get your body to relax.

Looking over at the clock beside your bed, you sighed and grabbed your purse, slipping a pair of sandals onto your feet. You had a doctor’s appointment in 45 minutes and if you were going to make it in time, you needed to get your butt out of the door.

Today was possibly one of the biggest days of your pregnancy. Today you could find out whether you were having a boy or a girl. A mini Auston or a mini-you. You knew that you could find out, but the more you thought about it, the more you weren’t sure whether you wanted to.

On top of all of that, you decided to be the bigger person yesterday and had texted Auston the appointment information. You had no idea whether he was even still in Toronto and he hadn’t responded to the text but your child deserved to know its father, even if you weren’t sure Auston deserved the same. He probably wouldn’t even show, but knowing that he might made you even more anxious than normal.

___

Reaching the doctor’s office, you made your way inside, making note to talk with the doctor about safe ways to alleviate the lower back pain that had become almost constant. After signing in you asked the nurse if you could use the bathroom before your appointment, the baby having shifted on your bladder during the drive over.

As you let yourself into the waiting room a minute or two later, your eyes met brown across the room, and for a moment you lost your breath.

So he’d actually shown up.

Grabbing a magazine, you took a chair two down from his and started flipping through it. From the corner of your eye, you could see him fiddling with his hands, removing his ball cap every so often to card his fingers through his hair. It was clear he was uncomfortable and there was a part of you that was glad he was. He didn’t get to be comfortable when he’d been MIA even after promising he wouldn’t be.

When a nurse eventually called your name, you gingerly pushed yourself to your feet and looked back, waiting to see if Auston was going to follow. He hesitated for a moment before standing and following after as a nurse led you to an exam room. Once inside, he paced back and forth while the nurse took your blood pressure, weight, and quickly measured your growing bump. It wasn’t until she left the room that Auston finally spoke.

“So uh...what’s this appointment for?” He mumbled, scratching at his head once more. You wanted to shoot back a sarcastic ‘to check on the baby you knocked me up with, dumb ass’ but you refrained, instead taking a deep breath and rubbing over your bump.

“It’s an ultrasound to check on the baby’s development.” Certain that Auston still had no idea what that meant you sighed and continued. “We’ll get to see the baby, hear its heartbeat.” The way his eyes went wide told you that was clearly not what he was expecting. Thankfully, before he could say anything in response, there was a knock on the door and your doctor made her way inside the room. She didn’t even flinch seeing Auston standing there and instead just flipped through your chart before looking up at you.

“Alright Y/N...I see we’ve reached the 18-week mark and you’re scheduled to see your baby today.” Her smile was bright and reminded you why you had chosen her as your doctor all along. It was hard to be stressed while surrounded by her easy demeanor. “I see the nurse already took your measurements. You’re right on track there. Growing nicely. Any new symptoms or concerns you’d like to discuss?”

After asking how to best address your back pain, you were given some tips including obtaining a pregnancy pillow, seeing a massage therapist, applying some topical relief, and which pain medication was safe to take if needed. She then addressed that soon you should start feeling the baby move and what else to expect over the next few weeks.

“Should we take a look at that baby now?” She finally inquired after you’d had all of your questions answered. Shifting on the table, you pulled your shirt up over your belly and slid your shorts down just a tad to provide her full access to your changing body. As you relaxed back you shivered as she put cold gel onto your stomach and started moving it around with the transducer. After a moment she pressed a few buttons and then reached up to turn the screen in your direction as the sound of a rapid heartbeat filled your ears.

You’d seen your baby once before, but now it actually was starting to look like a baby, and tears immediately pooled in your eyes. The fact that a tiny human was growing inside of you was still mind-boggling. For another few minutes, your doctor typed away, moving the transducer to take some measurements. Then she turned to you, a smile on her face.

“Everything looks great Y/N. Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” Looking over at the screen, you immediately knew exactly what you wanted. You’d been going back and forth for days but now you felt completely certain.

“No. I want to wait and be surprised.” You answered. The sound of the chair beside you squeaking made you jump. You’d honestly forgotten that Auston was even there. For a split second, you thought about how maybe that wasn’t what he wanted, but then you decided that you didn’t care about what he wanted. Not knowing brought you a sense of peace that you hadn’t felt yet and you knew it was the right decision.

“All right then.” Your doctor agreed. “If you ever change your mind you can just give us a call but I don’t blame you. It’s honestly the greatest surprise ever.” She mused, tapping your knee before handing you a few paper towels to wipe your stomach off with. “I think you’re all set. Pictures will be waiting for you up front. I’ll see you in a month.” She declared, before quickly scooting out of the room to see her next patient. For a moment you just relaxed against the bed, your brain processing everything before you cleaned up and fixed your clothing. By the time you had done that, you realized Auston was offering out a hand to help you off the table and begrudgingly you took it, holding on until you were steady on your feet.

Neither of you spoke until after you’d stepped out of the office. As Auston held the door open you reached into the envelope to pull out one of the two copies of photos the nurse had printed for you.

“Here.” You murmured, holding the sheet out to him. Auston took it warily, slipping it into his wallet. “Thanks for coming.” You breathed, twisting your keys on your fingers. “I’ll text you the date for the next appointment, but that one is just a check-up so nothing interesting will happen.” Auston nodded but it was clear that he still didn’t know what the hell he was doing and it was frustrating. You were trying and it still seemed like he wasn’t.

Shaking your head you turned and walked away, heading back to where you’d parked your car. A twinge went up your back as you slid into the driver’s seat and you sighed.

“I love you little one, but your daddy needs to grow the fuck up already.”

#auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #Toronto Maple Leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #tleafs #002

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stardancerluv · 4 years ago

Text

Roman’s Lady is his Luck

Part 2c

Summary: In passion and love you are together yet Roman’s voice sometimes is a stormy cloud.

Warning: Language, Voilence, Torture, blood mentioned, sex

The man backed up. “Roman, come on. We all know that the women, you usually have are not ladies.”

Right then, Roman’s friend Bernard who had greeted the two of you showed up.

“How was the game everyone?”

“Great.” Roman, looked at the two men who came with the man. “Take him away.” He pointed to the man who insulted your presence.

“Hey, wait a second.” The man said, panic evident in his voice.

The bald man nodded. “Take him to our place. Roman and I will handle him later.” The man, then looked at the two of you. “How is the room?” A wide, toothy smile spread across his face.

Roman’s mood, finally shifted. “It is very nice.” He smiled looking at you. “We love it.”

“Perfect.”

You went over to Roman’s side. “I love it. It’s fantastic.” You echoed.

“Fantastic.”

“Y/N, were right about to check out the Mob Museum.” He squeezed your hip.

“Yes, we were. I love all that old school gangster stuff.”

“Well, you two have fun. And Roman, I’ll keep him till your ready.”

Roman smiled, “We’ll be back around six. I’ll be down after that.”

*****

“Ooo look at these!” You pointed at the Bugsy Siegel’s. Sunglasses. They reminded you of a pair sometimes, Roman would wear. Only his were much better.

“Yeah. Mine are better.” He chuckled.

“You bet they are.” Looping you arm with his, you went on to look at the next exhibits. “And you are much better looking too.” You whispered in his ear.

He smirked. “I’ve got the best moll of them all.”

You flushed. “I want to be.”

******

“Come here baby.” He pulled you close, once you were back at the suite.

“Yes, Roman.” Your arms wrapped around him.

“I’m going to go and take of that man now. What are you going to be up to?”

“I’ll go shopping.”

“I’ll come find you.” He knew how much you loved to shop, there were some wonderful stores out here. He had to meet with one of his favorite tailors out here, he mused.

You smiled. “I’d like that.” You tilted your head to one side. “Roman, are you going to kill him?”

“I might.” He grew serious, never discussed such things with anyone. Not even, Victor. “Why?” He looked at you.

“You don’t have to kill everyone who insults me.”

“The stewardess, is still alive.”

“That’s good.” As you looked down, he knew you were not challenging him. He actually felt something. No one really ever cared about his actions. “I guess.” You looked at him finally. “I don’t want you to feel you have to kill everyone who is horrible to me.”

“But I enjoy it.” He smirked. He did. He enjoyed making people squirm and pay when they crossed him.

He could hear your concern. “I just don’t want to give Bat-brain or Gordon more of a reason to go after you.”

He gave you a warm smile. He drew a finger along your jaw. “Don’t worry baby. They’re small minnows in my pond, they don’t worry me.” You concern, and knowing his prowess, he wanted you to be assured.

“When you say it like that, I guess you’re right.”

“I am.” He nodded. “Now go and get some pretty things for yourself. And I will come find you.”

******

Bernard, handed him his mask before the car came to a stop.

“I forgot kept one here in case.” He smiled as he looked at it. He slid it on, then making sure his gloves fit well, he got out of the car. “Thank you,” He looked at Victor. “Sorry to interupt your game. I know this is a vacation for you too.”

“Not a problem, boss. This asshole has to be dealt with.”

With Victor behind him, he began making his way, to the abandoned factory. Distantly, he wondered what store you were shopping at.

*****

A thrill went through you. The more you thought about it, you actually enjoyed what a powerful person in Gotham he was, and that he loved you made even more exciting.

Wandering down by the shops, you stopped and looked at the three statues. Looking past one of them you spotted one of your favorite stores. You had thought it was only in Gotham, happily you were wrong and you made your way over to it.

******

He walked in and saw the man tied up and gagged. Under the mask, his lips curled into a smile. He flinched as he neared.

“Do you know why you are here?” He asked as he reached into his pocket and took out one of his knives.

******

Once in the boutique, you went over to a rack of colorful and pretty dresses. Seeing a few in your size, you grabbed them to try one.

You also spotted a few blouses and skirts. You were in heaven. Soon, the dressing room was filled with color and several types of fabrics.

She settled on a few items before moving among several other boutiques, there was a wake of color fabrics in her wake.

*****

The man sputtered and gasped and begged. “Please, I thought I was just being honest.”

He coughed and screamed.

Roman, enjoyed seeing him squirm. “Well, you shouldn’t insult a man’s girl. It doesn’t matter who she is.”

“I...I...”

“You fucking what? You’re beginning to bore me.”

“I promise not too do it again.” He man, whimpered.

“Victor, hold this asshole down will you?” He saw an instense fear light his eyes as color continued to drain from his face. It made Roman happy. He grabbed the man by his jaw. “Oh do you, stick out your fucking tongue.”

******

Finally, you spotted a guilty pleasure. Your favorite lingerie store. Well, to be honest it was because, the first time Roman was away he bought you the most beautiful pieces from it when he bad business in London.

Maybe you could find something to wear under that dress he surprised you with.

Perhaps, something silky to go under the black silky dress. Or perhaps something with lace. So many wonderful items to pick from.

*****

Blood poured from the man’s tongue, slipping his mask off he leaned in close. “Now you will know not to let your tongue wag about another man’s girl.”

“Yes.” The man sputtered.

******

You gasped as you walked out of the dressing room and saw Roman, leaning there. “Roman!” You said excitedly and went over to him.

He smiled and held you close. “Having, fun baby?”

“Yes. I was just finishing up.” You looked around a little shy. “Would you like me to put on a little fashion show for you?” Excitement, over the idea, curled in your stomach.

He smirked. “I’d like that.”

******

*******

Finding, your mp3 player you cued up some music. You were a little shy at first but then you got into it.

As he lounged there with his shirt jacket off, excitement built in you.

A fire began to build in his eyes. “You are beautiful.” His voice was raspy. You could feel very word. They excited you.

*****

Damn, watching your curves under all those items of clothing was absolutely amazing. His heart beat with the music.

His lips curled in his excitement as he watched you. The music added to it but it was all you.

When you were finally in a little teddy. He beckoned to you. “Come here baby.”

He pulled you onto his lap. His hand slipped under the teddy to rest on your hips. He gave them a squeeze.

“I have something to tell you.”

“Yes.” You reached up and ran your fingers through your hair.

“I listened to you today.”

“What?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “I didn’t kill him. But he will remember to not ever act like that again.”

“Oh, Roman I don’t know what to say.” You were shocked. You’d never thought he’d listen. As it was, you were terrified about saying something earlier. It really had not been your place. But that he listened to you, honestly touched your heart.

“You were right. Sometimes a punishment can be more fun.” He smirked. “You can kiss me.”

As your small hand laid on his cheek, he closed his eyes for a moment as he did he then felt your lips. He repressed the sound that came frlm

He moved fast making you gasp and pulling a soft sound from you as he now was over you.

“I can’t wait. I want you.”

“I’m yours.”

He made quick moves and opening his slacks, he easily took himself out. “Oh, that is my girl.” When he saw you had not slipped on any panties.

Bracing himself on the armrest, he entered you. A moan poured from his lips which mingled with yours.

He loved the feel of your legs as they wrapped around his waist almost as much as being deep with you.

“Baby.” He breathed, as your fingers were deep in his hair.

*****

Your teddy rested on your hips as you curled up to him on the sofa. You pressed a kiss on his cheek. Delighting, in the light touch of scruff.

“I’m glad you enjoyed my little show.”

He turned his head to smile at you, “I did. I could barely control myself.”

You flushed and hid your face into his shoulder.

@darling-i-read-it @spn-obsessed-dean @vintagemichelle91 @xxxeatyourh3artoutxxx @ewanfuckingmcgregor @zodiyack @angel98624 @frenchgirlinlondon @nebulastarr @emyliabernstein @thepeachreads @itsknife2meetu @omghappilyuniquebouquetlove @nomnomnomnamja @poe-kadot26 @top-rumbelle-fan @babydoll97 @hazel-nuss @vcat55 @feelthemadnessinside @rosionis @queenofgotham800 @brookisbi @peachthatdrinkslemonade @johallzy @foreverhockeytrash @frostypenguinoz @rentskenobi @starwarsslytherin @proffesionalclown @chogisss @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @shantellorraine @xxinvisiblexx @pooshnulooshnu

#roman sionis x you #roman sionis imagine #roman sionis smut #roman sionis x reader #roman sionis fanfiction #roman sionis x y/n #bop #birds of prey #black mask #black mask x y/n #black mask fanfiction #black mask x you #black mask x reader #roman’s lady is his luck #ewan mcgregor #part 2c

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ambssssssssss · 4 years ago

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i need you now (but i don’t know you yet)

5 times Dani knew her soulmate needed her and the one time she was finally there for her

Dani doesn’t really know what a soulmate is when her mark starts to appear. She’s heard the word, of course, it would be impossible not too, but she doesn’t quite know what it means. She knows that her parents are soulmates and that means they have a matching image somewhere on their bodies and she knows that not everyone has a soulmate, or not everyone has the same kind of soulmate. She understands that it has something to do with love, but the complexities of soulmates are still a little too advanced for her 5 year old brain.

She didn’t know that having a soulmate would burn.

It happens in the early afternoon, while Dani is out playing with Eddie and a few other neighborhood kids. She feels it on her chest, like when she accidentally touched a hot pan when trying to get a cookie but a thousand times worse. She screams and cries until every nearby adult is rushing to where the children have gathered. They look for any kind of harm, anything to indicate that something is physically wrong with Dani, but find nothing. By the time any of them think to consider the possibilities of a soulmate, Dani’s sobs have turned to soft sniffles and she’s burrowed against her mother’s chest holding one hand over her own heart.

“Did you check for a mark?” Eddie’s mom asks, sending a sympathetic smile towards Dani.

“I didn’t consider it. She’s too young, isn’t she?”

“I don’t think you’re ever too young to need someone.”

“Best get her home then,” Dani’s mom stands up and eases Dani out of her arms until they’re standing side by side. Dani still has one hand over her heart and the other clutching onto her mother. “Thank you for watching her.”

“Of course,” Eddie’s mom gives a gracious smile and directs her son to join the other kids who have restarted their playing. Eddie runs off, yelling a goodbye to Dani over his shoulder.

Dani and her mother make the short walk back to their home in silence, Dani wondering what having a mark meant. Once they arrive back home, Dani is sent to her room and asked to change into clean clothes before she comes back to the living room. Dani does as she’s told and quickly moves to clean up. As she trades her dirty dress for a clean one, she notices the patch of discolored flesh on her chest in the full-length mirror she has hanging on the door.

It’s a flower, or at least part of a flower. It doesn’t look like any flower that Dani has ever seen before and somehow that makes it even more beautiful to her, an irregular white shape outlined in black against her skin that she knew would one day be a beautiful image.

“Dani!” Her mother calls, reminding Dani that she’s meant to be downstairs. Dressing as quick as she can manage, Dani makes her way back to the living room where her mothers is waiting.

Her mother is sitting on the couch, hands clasped in her lap, and pats the cushion beside her for Dani to sit down.

“Did you see anything on your chest?” She asks, but something about her smile makes Dani think she already knows the answer.

“A flower, I think,” Dani pulls at the neckline of her dress but only manages to show a little bit of the black and white painted on her skin. Her mother chuckles and reaches to undo the buttons that hold Dani’s dress closed so she can see the mark.

“Definitely a flower,” she muses. “I wonder what kind. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one like that.”

“It burned.” Dani looked up at her mother. “Does that mean that having a soulmate will hurt?”

“It might,” she smoothed back Dani’s hair, looking into her daughter’s big, blue eyes. “The truth is having a soulmate is different for everyone. Your soulmate could be someone you admire, some you trust, someone you love, or all three rolled into one. Your soulmate is going to teach you about yourself, and sometimes that can hurt more than anything.”

Dani was quiet, her little brow scrunched up in concentration as she tried to make sense of her mother’s words. The older woman chuckled.

“Don’t worry, you’ll understand one day,” she sighed wistfully. “The important thing for now is to remember this: your mark will grow as you get older. Every time your soulmate needs you for something, anything, another petal will be added.”

“And then I’ll meet them?” Dani asks with wide, excited eyes.

“Maybe, maybe not. There’s not really a timeline for this kind of thing.” Her mother sighs with an odd expression that Dani can’t make sense of. “Just follow your heart and you’ll meet your soulmate when the time is right.”

Dani, showing remarkable patience for a 5 year old, didn’t demand to see her soulmate right then and there. Instead she nodded and then a far-off look took over her face, like she was already imagining what that day might look like.

“I hope the time is right soon,” Dani said later that night as her mother tucked her into bed. Her voice was sleepy, eyes dropping but still shining with excitement. “I want to meet my soulmate as soon as I can. I miss them.”

“I’m sure they miss you too,” her mother kissed her on the forehead and fluffed the blankets around her. “Sweet dreams baby girl.”

“Goodnight mommy,” Dani’s eyes were closed before she finished saying the words.

Dani dreamed of a garden full of white flowers, a voice that was too far off to be properly heard but whatever was said never failed to make her laugh.

The first addition that comes to Dani’s mark is brought with a stinging pain that shocks eight year old Dani to her core. It’s harsh and biting and reminds Dani of the time Eddie had accidentally slapped her arm when they were playing outside once. The part of her arm that he had hit had been red and swollen for a little while after and Dani guessed she had expected to see that on her chest as well. Instead, all she found was another white petal that connected to the first. It was angled slightly so Dani could tell that the final product would eventually be circular in shape, but at the moment it looked rather like a lopsided rectangle.

She wonders if getting a new piece of her mark will always hurt but she doesn’t want to ask. Her parents always seem sad when Dani mentioned her soulmate or soul mark and Dani doesn’t understand why that is. She doesn’t ask about that either but she thinks it’s because Dani is the only one of her friends to be developing a soul mark already. It’s not exactly polite to ask about it, but Dani has had many conversations with her neighborhood playmates about soulmates. They all know that Dani has a soul mark, the boys think it’s gross and the other girls can’t wait for the day that they start to get their mark.

Whenever they ask about Dani’s mark, Dani hesitates before answering. It doesn’t feel right to give away the details of her mark to someone who isn’t her soulmate and so she has to think about her answer carefully. She doesn’t want to give anything important away.

“It’s a flower,” she says every time the question comes up during recess. “A white one.”

“You always say that,” Eddie complains loudly as if it’s the worst thing in the world that Dani won’t tell him exactly what her soulmate mark looks like.

“Because that’s what it is,” Dani rolls her eyes, annoyance clear in her tone. Eddie rolls his eyes in return and stalks off across the playground to partake in the pickup game of kickball happening across the way. Dani’s glad that he leaves, it lets her wonder about her soulmate in peace.

She wonders what her soulmate looks like, and what their laugh is like. Dani doesn’t understand much about love yet but she knows she could never love anyone who didn’t make her laugh. She thinks about what her soulmate is doing, what could have caused that stinging pain. Maybe they were playing a game, like Eddie and the others, and got hit the wrong way by accident. Maybe they were clumsy and hit themselves trying not to fall down.

As the pain faded, Dani couldn’t help but wonder what had hurt her soulmate so bad that they needed her to be there and longs for the day that she’ll get to ask.

Nearly ten years passed before Dani felt the addition to her mark appear. It had happened slowly, like a rising tide. Dani had felt it coming in the buzz of her skin and the whisper of some emotion that wasn’t hers humming in the back of her mind. She ignores the feeling as much as she can during the day, ignores the friends who ask her if she’s alright just as much and ignores Eddie’s attempts to ask her out even more.

She doesn’t know why he’s asking her. He knows they aren’t soulmates. Eddie hasn’t seen her mark but she’s seen Eddie’s a few times. His wasn’t as easy to conceal, resting on his bicep instead of over his heart like Dani’s. His mark is still outlined in black, just like Dani’s, which means that neither of them have met their soulmate yet. That hasn’t stopped him from asking Dani out to dinner, a picnic, a movie, anything that would imply the two of them are going together.

Turning him down has gotten a bit easier over the past year or so thanks in part to Dani’s musings about the possibility of her own soulmate. The more time that passes, the more time Dani spends alone, the more time she has to observe and think and eventually she comes to the conclusion that even if they didn’t have soulmates, she could never be with Eddie for one simple reason.

Eddie isn’t a girl.

Somehow, Dani thinks that the universe must take things like that into account when going about something like assigning soulmates. Dani knows that her soulmate mark is romantic and not platonic because of the black outline. If it was platonic, the outline would be blue. It’s comforting to her to think that somewhere out there in the world, there’s another girl with a white flower blossoming on her chest every time Dani needs her.

The comfort is dampened a bit when Dani realizes the emotion that follows the new petal on her chest. It’s one that she is familiar with, one that she had known often since her father passed eight year ago.

Loneliness.

Whoever Dani’s soulmate is, she’s incredibly alone. And that hurts more than anything.

Dani understands more about what a soulmate is now, knows what this other person will someday mean to her and she can’t stand the thought of her cosmic other half being in any kind of pain. Wherever she is, Dani’s soulmate feels like there is no one in the world who cares about her and Dani wants nothing more than to find her, hold her, promise that there is someone who cares. Someone who will love her just like she needs and who will only ever ask to be loved the same in return.

Dani swears she’ll do her best to find her soulmate before the last petal of her mark appears so that she can finally be there when her soulmate needs her the most.

Two years later, Dani is twenty and a sophomore in college. Her mark is still outlined in black despite the many people that she’s met in college. She has friends, people who haven’t met their soulmate yet and people that have. They all say the same thing about it, that they will meet when they are meant too but not a moment sooner.

It’s the way of the universe, a professor had told her once when the topic of soulmates had come up in class. It was surprising to talk about in a class about education but Dani supposes it makes sense. Teachers are always asked complicated questions that they don’t always have an answer too. It’s not a bad idea to start figuring what to say when the inevitable soulmate question will come up in her classroom.

The universe had given them a great gift in the form of soulmates, her professor had said. But the trick was that even now, people weren’t really sure how they worked. How could you pick a handful of moments when you needed someone? What’s the criteria for those moments? Do soulmate marks form at the same time? Why are platonic soulmates blue and romantic soulmates outline black until they meet? These and so many more, are questions that they simply do not have an answer for.

But, there were a few questions that they did have answers for. The most important one, to Dani at least, was the feeling that came every time a soulmate mark expanded. When the mark expands, soulmates are sharing the emotion in that moment. The emotion shared can be anything from happiness to anger to sorrow, perhaps even a mix of emotions. There was a theory that said soulmate marks were meant to be a release of that emotion. The first mark appeared one on half of the pair felt overwhelmed with one single emotion and would expand each time it happened again. Some people felt the same emotions every time, some people never felt the same emotion twice as their mark expanded. And some, like Dani, had a one repeat emotion and then the next time it switched to something else.

The first two times Dani felt her soulmate’s emotions, it had been all about pain. Not just emotional pain but physical pain as well. Dani could still remember the way her skin ahd stung in the aftermath of whatever terrible thing had happened to her soulmate. The third had been an all consuming loneliness, which was one that spread to the fourth.

It happened in the middle of the night, Dani sitting up in her tiny college dorm bed feeling like she could cry despite the pleasant dream she’d been having. There was an emptiness in her chest but Dani didn’t need to look to know that her mark had grown again. Her soulmate was alone again, and even worse was that her soulmate was longing for something. That was there too, buried deep beneath the loneliness but Dani could almost feel that even more. Her soulmate was looking for someone to share something with and Dani knew that if she did, that loneliness would be replaced by an incredible joy.

She’d never felt more guilty in her life for not being there when her soulmate needed her.

As the time passes, Dani can’t help but wonder when she’ll finally meet the woman she longs for. Her soulmate, whoever she is, has suffered through so much pain and loneliness, and it feels like every time her mark grows, another little piece of Dani’s heart crumbles.

The fifth time it happens, Dani is in the middle of instructing a group of fourth graders how to string together complex sentences. She’s standing at the chalkboard, writing down the subjects that her students are shouting out to her, when her hand pauses and she suddenly feels like crying. The feeling doesn’t come from her, that much is obvious from the way it comes over her suddenly and the slight burn of her chest where she can feel the last petal of the flower over her heart forming.

It’s the kind of sadness that comes for a sudden, unexpected loss. Dani is familiar with it, sadly, due to the death of her father many years ago. A car crash had taken his life and that was the one moment that Dani was positive her soulmate had felt her need. The need to be held and comforted and allowed to cry until it didn’t hurt so much anymore. The same need that her soulmate was currently experiencing and that Dani had no way to give to her.

She’d made up her mind before she was done setting the chalk down.

It was pretty obvious after all these years that Dani’s soulmate was going to show up in Dani’s small hometown and Dani was tired of waiting around. She’d been drifting through her life aimlessly for many years, hoping that by working with children she could make a small difference in the world. Maybe she’d finally paid her cosmic dues, maybe she didn’t have to feel guilty about leaving.

Dani was on the first flight to London as soon as school let out for the summer, only taking the clothes she could fit in her two bags.

It was time to go where she was needed.

Bly was such a small town along the English countryside, filled with people who had never considered leaving. It reminded Dani of Iowa in some ways, the way that everyone knew who everyone else was and the mentality of sticking together yet remaining apart. It felt like a small part of home.

Of course, nothing could compare to the home she had found in Jamie.

At first, Dani had thought the pull she felt towards the gardener had been nothing but simple attraction, a crush. It was impossible not to like Jamie, with her nonchalant attitude and smirks and the caring heart she tried so hard to hide behind the chip on her shoulder. Dani had been attracted to her when they first met, briefly, in the kitchen. By the time they had their first real conversation, Dani was falling hard and Jamie, despite the cold front she put on, was falling just the same.

The topic of soulmates wasn’t brought up until after they’d already shared one kiss. Jamie had taken Dani out for a walk in the gardens, in the middle of the night. Dani had protested half-heartedly, wondering why they couldn’t take this walk in the morning when it wasn’t freezing and joking about Jamie taking her into the woods to take her out. Jamie had told her to shut up, not in so many words and not unkindly though the intent was there, and told her to wait. It would be worth it.

Dani didn’t believe her until she saw the flower bloom. It was beautiful, all white petals and climbing vines. Jamie explained all of the work she had put in to making the moonflower thrive in this climate, how much effort was put in for what turned out to be a very small payoff in comparison. That’s what Jamie thought people were like, only worth the effort once in a blue goddamn moon.

When they kissed that night, beneath the glow of the moon and the moonflower, Dani knew. She couldn’t explain exactly how but she knew. Jamie was her soulmate and Jamie needed her in that moment. Jamie needed her to be there, to put in the effort and reap the rewards, however small they may be. More than that, Jamie needed her. She needed Dani and Dani would be there.

Hours later, when they were curled together under the duvet of Dani’s bed, Jamie was tracing her finger over the flower petals on Dani’s chest. There was a look of wonder in her eyes as she traced over the mark, the once-black outline now a shining gold. The same flower rested on Jamie’s left shoulder, opposite of the scar left from a burn on the right.

“You know, I was beginning to think you’d never show up,” Jamie joked softly, her fingers keeping up their slow movements even as she moved her gaze up so she was looking into Dani’s eyes.

“Sorry,” Dani grins impishly, soothing her thumb over Jamie’s hip. She leans in, kissing Jamie softly and reveling in the knowledge that she can just do that. She can lay there with Jamie in her arms, their bare bodies pressed together and legs intertwined. She can lay there with her soulmate, finally able to be there when Jamie needs her. “I’ll try not to keep you waiting again.”

“You do that Poppins,” Jamie shifts so she can snuggle against Dani’s chest, pressing a kiss over her soulmate mark and enjoying the shiver that passes through Dani at the touch. They lay in silence for a moment and Dani slips her arm beneath Jamie’s shoulder, propping her head up a bit more and allowing herself access to the mark on Jamie’s shoulder. The silence stretches on, Dani beginning to drift to sleep until Jamie speaks again. “I should probably go, before the kids wake up.”

“No,” Dani tightens her hold on Jamie, letting her voice take on a playful, childish tone as Jamie chuckles.

“I’ll be back in the morning Poppins,” Jamie promises and presses another kiss to Dani’s chest before she begins to pull away.

“Wait, stay, please,” Dani catches her hand as Jamie pulls away, rising to a sitting position next to her. “We’ll be up before the kids anyway and I need you tonight.”

“No you don’t,” Jamie laughs softly at the pout that Dani sends her and she wonders if this is what it feels like to be falling in love. “I’d feel it if you did.”

“Okay so maybe I don’t need you,” Dani admits and pulls Jamie closer to her by their still joined hands. “But I want you here, with me. That’s worth something, isn’t it?”

“‘Course it is,” Jamie smiles and lets Dani pull her back against the pillows, turning their bodies so she ends up being Dani’s little spoon. The position lets their matching marks press together and Jamie swears that she’s never felt more wanted than she did in the circle of Dani’s arms. “I’ll stay.”

And really, Dani thinks, after this it will be a rare occasion for Jamie to go. They’ve waited all these years to be together, suffered through all that heartache and longing alone. She won’t waste another second and she’s sure that Jamie won’t either. Maybe they can be like the flowers imprinted on their skin, bright and blossoming over and over again under the care of gentle hands and caring affection. Maybe they can be worth it, worth the extra effort of giving your heart to someone else.

Dani’s pretty positive that they are.

#damie #damie fanfic #ambs writes #my fics #soulmate au

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holyhikari · 5 years ago

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Okay. Okay. It’s 2020, most of the world is shut down and the first episode of Digimon Adventure aired yesterday, missing a ‘Butter-Fly’ and with a colon to spare. Life sure is something.

Gotta say I’m relieved. (For now, at least.) Sure, yeah, I got into the hype train for the reboot from the get-go and determined to just have fun, but. If I can picture all the ways something can go wrong — go BORING — down to excruciating details right from the first episode, why not? That’s what brains are for. So that’s what I did.

Should have saved all that energy.

I want to share with all of you my thoughts on this episode, break it down a little bit; how it made me feel, the few character introductions we got, the pace, the plot and its possibilities.

As much as I want to approach this series keeping the idea of authenticity in mind, it is a reboot. They chose a certain set of (popular!) pre-existent characters to explore, to work with; a balance between creating and adapting. And I’m very interested in seeing how they’ll combine the core elements of Digimon Adventure with all there is unique to this generation of kids, teens and, you know it, adults who stuck around.

Since all we’ve got is the introduction to the series, I’ll be contrasting TOKYO DIGITAL CRISIS to how the original Adventure kicked off back in 1999 with ADRIFT? THE ISLAND OF ADVENTURE!

I did try to keep this as coherent and review-like as possible, but there’s a fair amount of fan-girling and it’s all seen through my very biased Adventure-stan-colored lens. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

‘99 starts with an image of our planet, and ‘20 starts almost the same. This time, though, we can see we aren’t alone. ‘The Digital World affecting the Earth’ is something that happens, I believe, in every Digimon reincarnation. In ‘99, it’s deeply affecting our climate. Now, the issue doesn’t seem so drastic that it’s able to reach influence organic matter and mess up many Nature’s cycles across the globe, but it’s still not looking so good for our kids. (It’s the first episode and Hikari and Yuuko almost get train-sandwiched, but I suppose that almost having your head chopped off, courtesy of Kuwagamon, isn’t lovely either.)

Anyway.

I think this Digital World/Network shot isn’t actually part of the episode? I think it’s part of the opening (I mean, not the OP sequence with the song, obviously), and that we’ll be seeing it before each episode starts. Still, it’s an interesting juxtaposition, isn’t it?

A Glorious World is upon us! I wasn’t actually expecting Butter-Fly or anything similar to it, don’t worry. I’m glad the new OP is its own thing! I want Digimon Adventure ‘20 to be as authentic as possible without losing the original’s heart. The song is nice enough. I don’t want to compare it to Butter-Fly, but I’m only human. Give me a few episodes. Gotta let go.

The OP has way more Taichi than the others. No surprise there. He’s our goggle boy. (Still, since they went for a quick throwback to the original opening, it’s a shame only Taichi was shown falling down towards the Digital World).

Everyone got a part, though. Shout out to Takeru and Hikari for being yet again the ominous, powerful baby-faced duo that is definitely up to something.

It’s so interesting that, while the other crests are shown very clearly and surrounded by sparkles, Light and Hope are only shown briefly shining in their partners’ shadows. Why is Takeru so far away from us, why is this so sinister-looking. Hi, mysterious plot. Nice to meet you.

Wherever Hikari is by the end of the OP, it reminds me of Vamdemon’s castle. Maybe she feels connected to Tailmon and follows her somehow? Angemon wasn’t shown in the OP with the older six children’s partners, just Patamon. I wonder if they’ll try to make us grieve for Angemon a second time. It’d work with me. Either way, I imagine we’re in for another last-minute Patamon evolution when everything looks hopeless.

This time, though, we’ve got Hikari from the beginning (yes, I am VERY excited about this, thank you for asking, THIS IS WHAT I DESERVE), and, while I think Patamon is more powerful in regular conditions (as in, Angemon can probably take Angewomon in a fight despite the level imbalance, but as soon as Hikari starts glowing you know who’s winning), he will now be sharing the spotlight with another Archangel evolution… as his friend or as his foe, considering that Tailmon might be a double agent of some sorts in the beginning. Welp.

Anyway. Toei isn’t fooling around, in the OP we can see MetalGreymon in a very scary-looking, glitchy fashion that I’m LIVING for, WarGreymon’s silhouette and, good grief, there’s even a glimpse of Omegamon. Talk about too much information. Maybe chill out a little? (I say this, but the adults already know all of their evos, and the kids just want MOOOOOOORE monstahhhhhrrrrrrsss….which is fair.)

MetalGreymon looks dope here. The others, though, are only shown up to their Adult evolution, even Gabumon. I don’t think they will have only Gabumon and Agumon reaching their Mega forms, and then fusing into Omegamon while everyone else only gets as far as Perfect. Again.

They wouldn’t do this to us. Right? Yeah, they would. Maybe we can have Holydramon/Ophanimon and Seraphimon later on, as a treat. Aaaaaand, depending on how many episodes — how many seasons — this new timeline gets, I’m not giving up hope just yet. Let me have Phoenixmon, Toei, you heartless thing.

Moving on to the actual episode… The first non-Digimon character to show up is the true protagonist. Our queen is back. Our little Digivice thief, Miko herself.

Just you wait, you ain’t gonna be Hikari’s favorite cat-like creature for long.

Speaking of Hikari, LOOK AT THIS WITTLE BABY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2020 Taichi right off the bat was Taichi for me. He’s talking to Yuuko and yells “Hikariii~” so loudly Hikari hears it from where she stands, the short cutie. Their mom just hands down the phone for her without missing a beat so Taichi can comfort her through whatever she’s worrying about (her summer classes, probably). Such a sweet, natural little moment that flashes both characters out. I want more of that, please.

We’re then introduced to Koushiro! I’m not gonna lie, I cringed the first time I heard him speak. I thought the voice didn’t fit him very well. This impression faded quickly enough, though, and I’m already attached to his new voice. Later, I realized that part of the reason he sounded off to me was because of how nervous he seemed — around Taichi, of all people! In this version, they’re just meeting for the first time, so it’s very in-character for him. Guess I was kinda shocked seeing Koushiro not feeling at ease talking to Taichi. Poor thing is Anxious! And he’s overthinking about Summer Camp! And he’s happy Taichi is his neighbor! That certainly would’ve helped during the Vandemon arc back in ‘99.

Koushiro gets a little bit over his awkwardness upon hearing the news regarding the cyber attack, something he’s curious about, and finally steps towards Taichi instead of away, which is spot on. These two fall into an easy camaraderie, as they SHOULD, and they head to the train station together, where Taichi decides to, I don’t know… run like crazy on the tracks until he gets to the rogue train where his family is and stop it with sheer force of will? Yeah! Sounds like him!

And now to one of the most interesting parts of this adaption, is that they’re showing us the Crests early on and HOW they’re doing it.

Taichi is able to meet Koromon because he’s being brave.

I mean, the first time, he was chosen because of his courage, too, but they all go in together. They’re taken. They’re washed off the Earth. And while Taichi had no idea he was going to be pulled into the Net, he chose to try to save Hikari and his mom (and, a few moments later, he chose to dive in towards Koromon). This time, it feels so much more personal. The screen switched back and forth between the Crest of Courage, Taichi and Hikari, who I believed called his name. The scene worked so well! (Following this pattern, Koushiro gets his Digivice when expressing curiosity, the will to pursue an explanation for what was happening!!!!)

On the other hand, it’s sort of bittersweet they weren’t pulled in together. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they didn’t try to introduce all of them AND the Digital World at the same time again. But… ‘99 established them as a ‘team’ within seconds. It’s interesting, though. I’m VERY curious to see how their bonding will go this time around!

Taichi and Koromon meeting was beautiful. I was worried the soundtrack wouldn’t even stand a chance against the masterpiece that is the original one, but the musing playing was so delicate, so majestic. I felt I was witnessing a precious moment. Also, Koromon’s ears twisting into how we represent the DNA while he was evolving was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SUCH A GOOD DETAIL!!!!!!

It cracked me up when Koushiro said that what was happening was very surprising while not sounding surprised at all. I wonder how long the kid has been looking into the cyber attacks. Oh, and the Network is pretty. Prettier than I had anticipated, though not that different from Appmon’s style, I think? I can’t wait to get a look at the actual Digital World and see if it has that unique feeling and that odd, watercolor painting aesthetic. I hope I can trust the OP:

Did you notice that Agumon giggled a few times? He looked at Taichi with such love, familiarity and devotion and like he knew something. It felt… right. My heart. My poor, poor heart. (I know this Agumon probably has met Taichi before inside of this very Universe, like the Hikarigaoka incident in the original version, but I like to think about Universe-hopping platonic soulmates.)

Overall the sound work was fantastic, but this scene deserves a highlight. The noise of the Kuramon lookalike moving after evolving was genuinely disturbing. And look at how pretty this is:

Speaking of evolution, AGUMON EVOLVING INTO GREYMON WAS THE SHIT. I loved how straight-up FERAL it was, while still keeping the “Digital” part of “Digital Monster” very much present. It reminded me a bit of Hosoda’s Greymon (most amazing Greymon to this day!) in the Digimon Adventure Movie and, now that I think of it, of him fighting in some Tri. Reunion scenes. Scary Greymon is the best Greymon. Yes. I like it when the Digimon manage to disturb and scare me, okay? They aren’t called monsters for nothing.

I mean we got to see his horn literally bursting out of his skin. This is low-key terrifying. 10/10.

BUT WHERE IS THE EVOLUTION THEME SONG

I am: deceased. Cause of death: Hikari’s soft smile when she realizes her big brother managed to help them.

Alternatively, this first pic had killed me on the spot.

FINALLY, we get to see Yamato, and of course, he’s staring down dramatically at Taichi on top of Garurumon like the intense person he is. And, no big deal, there’s a cyber attack in a U.S military base and, uh, apparently the next episode is the 2020 version of Bokura no War Game?!

I— WHAT?!

No pressure, am I right? I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be falling off a good ol’ cliff with my camping buddies.

To be honest, if they intended to end it like this, it felt like this should’ve been a special episode. Maybe one-hour-long or so? Why……….HOW……….. They wanna go from the pilot straight to a Bokura no War game tribute?! The very movie that introduced Omegamon. I swear, if Omegamon’s debut is the SECOND episode, I’m gonna break. How is this gonna work. Well, at least they have us… intrigued?

The ED is so Yamato-focused it’s almost weird that his voice actor isn’t the one singing lmao. That amount of Yamatoness got me by surprise. Some of the pics look like a PowerPoint presentation of CD cover ideas for his yet-to-exist (or not) band… and I say this lovingly, okay? I love him so much.

This is my favorite one!

I lost count of how many times I listened to this song!! It also got me hooked up. What’s up with Takeru and how the writers took the whole Angel aesthetic to a whole new level?! Is he sick? Is he dying? Is this why Yamato is so sad and lonely throughout the ED?????? EVERYONE GO BEFRIEND HIM. I heard he’s a good friend.

Be right back, I’m gonna tattoo this pic to my face.

Bonus commentary!

I bet I wasn’t the only one looking for random cameos whenever they showed us crowds. Didn’t find anyone we know, but I’m sure this will change. 02 characters cameos, I’m ready for you.

Soooooooooo the Tachikawa own a tech company this time?? For all we know they own Japan. That’s scarier than the Diablomon-like virus giving Trump a headache. If so, Mimi is gonna be way more spoiled than before. Oh, dear.

I HOPE WE SEE MORE OF THESE PIXEL BABIES! That was a perfect Easter egg.

If none of these icons at the bottom is the Digimon Analyzer, then what’s the point of my entire existence?

I can’t wait for next Saturday! Even if solely to yell “WHY??????” at my screen.

I can’t thank you enough if you read this far!

#digimon #digimon adventure psi #psi spoilers #bea with the tea #I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY WRITING THIS AND........ IT'S NOT EVEN GOOD.......... OK #long post

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wonderlandmind4 · 5 years ago

Text

Delicate Stages of Life: 26

We’re In the End Game Now

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC; Platonic Steve Rogers x OFC

Summary: Life in Wakanda is filled with love, laughs, some tears, all emotions, lazy days, goats, hot springs, a soul connection, and something dark that looms over Bucky’s and Ana’s domestic bliss…

Warnings: Language. Angst. Slight grief. Apologizes

Words: 12,236

A/N: (Do not read unless you’ve read Delicate Stages first) beautiful moodboard by @afewmarvelousthoughts and thank you for all your help and tears and yelling at me. (gif not mine) PS. I snuck a Hamilton lyric in here

One month later finds Ana sitting on the couch, watching while Alex is content to scoot herself around in an army crawl with a toy in her hand, when Carol hops over. She scoops up the little girl, spinning her in the air and making her giggle uncontrollably, before she plops down next to Ana.

Immediately, Ana knows something is up, as the other woman presses the side of her body to hers, and can feel the reluctance radiating off of her. Alex babbles and drools happily in her lap after Carol hands her a teething toy. She glances at Ana with an awkward expression.

“I get the feeling whatever you’re about to say isn’t going to be good.” Ana notes tautly, narrowing her eyes.

“Depends on your definition,” Carol replies. “Helping others is good. Missing me? Not good.”

“Who says I’ll miss you?”

Carol sticks her tongue out. Ana returns the gesture but can’t contain her grin afterwards. She turns her attention to the goat sock halfway off her daughter’s foot, fixing it in place. Carol turns the baby around after that, pulling her up to help her stand on wobbly legs as she bounces.

“So, you’re leaving again.” Ana sighs.

“There’s been more odd and unnatural blips on my radar from other planets,” Carol informs, she keeps a smile on her face for the baby’s sake. “Unfortunately they don’t have the teams like the Avengers to help them. Which is where I come in.”

“Still?”

“Yeah. I got a message from the Skrulls requesting my help. From there, I’ll check out other planets.“ Carol then meets her eyes. “I’ll be gone for a while.”

Slumping down into the cushions, Ana tilts her head to lean against Carol’s shoulder. Alex tips forward, reaching for her mother’s nose, somehow always sensing when she’s off. Scrunching her nose makes her daughter smile, she continues bouncing.

“I understand,” She exhales warily. “I will miss you though. You’re the only one who calms my energy.”

Carol hums. “I don’t foresee another outburst from you, if I’m honest. Sure, I felt a few surges here and there, but ever since Blond Dumbass moved out, you seem to have settled.”

“That’s not because Steve left, it’s because I started going to therapy groups twice a week.” Ana remarks kindly.

“Still a dumbass,” She deadpans.

Ana snorts.

“Natasha has the pager, but I made you one too, in case you need me for anything. We can research more about this connection between you two. It could just be a stronger bond between mother and daughter, considering your powers.”

“I guess,” Ana relents with a shrug. “It’s gotten a little better. When are you leaving?”

“In three days. I’m going to use this time to soak in all the cuddles from this little one. Isn’t that right Sergeant Smiles?”

Carol lifts Alex in the air again, makes funny noises with her mouth, before she lowers her to nuzzle her head against her belly, making high pitched noises. Ana’s lips spread into a wide smile, listening to her daughter’s bubbly laughter that scrunches her whole face.

It’s not long after Carol leaves that Rhodey follows, following a lead on another horrific gang slaughter. Ana catches Natasha in deep thought later that day, her energy thick enough to fill the entire office space.

Leaving Alex in the care of Rocket and Nebula, with some effort to make herself step away, she finally demands Natasha to tell her what’s happening. If those notes Ana saw before have anything to do with Rhodey leaving. If the lead is in fact, Clint Barton gone rogue.

A file is shown, the information inside makes Ana’s knees weak, staggering back into the chair. Clint had lost his entire family after the snap, all evidence pointing to him having turned over a bloodstained murderous leaf.

“I can’t track him,” Natasha informs her, her tone haunted. “We’ve always been two steps behind since I figured out it was him. The horrible thing is, I don’t think I want to find him.”

Flurries of questions fly around Ana’s head, though she pushes them away to get up and gather a clearly upset Nat in her arms. She snaps the file shut, and pushes it off the desk as the first sob breaks past Natasha’s lips.

Five Months Later:

The time came to baby proof the compound as much as possible once Alex began crawling and reaching for anything she could. Especially after she got a hold of the drive spring from Bucky’s rifle that Rocket had been cleaning. Ana nearly skinned him alive for deciding to clean a gun- unloaded but still- in the presence of a baby. Though as Ana tightened the last baby gate, she sat back wishing her baby girl wasn’t growing up so fast.

Slowly, while Alex continues to grow and develop, Ana has begun to heal a small bit of herself. The pain is still immutable, it’s hard to breath some days, and some nights leave Ana waking up in tears. Her daughter though, with her sunshine smile and sparkling blue eyes is one of the only things that helps her get by everyday.

At 11 months old, Alex utters her first word on a rather bad day for Ana. She had woken from the same dream she hadn’t had for a month, and the rest of the day had the connection between her and her daughter just as strong as that first day. When Ana absolutely had to leave her in Natasha’s keen watch, Alex cried.

“Ma, ma, ma, mama!”

She had come running into the room the second she heard it, Natasha smiling brightly at her. Ana gathered her baby in her arms, comforting her and kissing her all over her cheeks. Pride and happiness blooming through her chest had overcome the breaking of the connection.

Just two days later, when the littlest Barnes girl was close to sleep, Bucky’s lullaby soothing her, Alex utters her second word.

“Da.”

Half awake, Ana hums, patting her bottom as she rocks her in the chair. The word settles in her ears, slowly registering in her brain. Her eyes fly open, staring down at Alex, pointing to the projection of Bucky’s beautiful face.

“Did you just-?” Ana trails off in shock.

For the past two months she had been pointing to the screen every time it played, telling her daughter the man on the screen was her dad. She figured Alex wouldn’t actually understand it at her age or even make the connection.

Her curious, blue eyes flicker up at her mother, the tiny little spots of brown more defined within the fibers. The little indent in her chin has turned into a prominent dimple, and whenever she laughs, a wrinkle forms by each eye. Alex is looking more and more like her father, and her developing, charming personality breaks Ana’s heart in every good and bad way. She sees Bucky’s in their daughter’s eyes everyday.

“Y-yeah, baby girl,” Ana chokes with tears in her eyes, pointing as well. “That’s dada.”

Alex moves her focus back to the screen. “Da...da.”

“That’s right, Alex. Oh my sweet little bean.” Ana leans down to kiss her head. “That’s your daddy. The best man I’ve ever known.”

Snuggling deeper in her arms, Alex finally succumbs to sleep, Bucky’s singing calling her to dreams.

***

Coming home from group therapy sessions usually drains Ana, always ready to take Alex and head to bed each time. Her abilities just mean she’s able to feel the weight of emotions and people’s energies in the room. Sometimes it doesn’t affect her, but on the heavy days it leaves a dark cloud hovering over her; a thunderhead of grief and pain soaking her bones.

Ana is sort of thankful that the effects of the super soldier serum while she was pregnant wasn’t permanent. Otherwise she’d be more oversensitive than she already was. The group leader on occasions, would pull her aside offering one on one time instead, in case the atmosphere got too much for her senses.

This time, as she drags her feet through the door, empty cardboard cup of coffee in her hand, she’s determined to find Natasha. She stops in the kitchen for supplies first, then heads off in the direction of giggling and music.

She finds Nat and Alex in the spy’s room, a kid’s movie playing on her TV. It looks like Natasha had just finished dancing with Alex, a delighted grin brightening her little face. When she spots Ana she nearly throws herself out of the woman’s arms in her attempt to greet her mom.

Once safely on the floor, Alex wobbles as she stands, then falls onto her hands and hurriedly crawls over until Ana scoops her up with one arm. She kisses her daughter hello, then holds up the wine bottle she grabbed.

“Rough session?” Natasha guesses, hopping on her bed.

“More of a rough revelation,” She replies, handing the bottle to her.

She hugs Alex to her body before she sets her down in the activity chair, continuing to focus on the bright movie and entertain herself with toys. Crawling into the bed, Ana lays back while the other woman pulls open the cork from the bottle with a knife. Ana glares pointedly as Nat shrugs and puts the knife back in it’s hiding spot under her pillow.

“Intrigue,” Natasha muses, taking a long sip from the bottle.

“Natasha,” Ana begins as she sits up. Nat picks up on her somber tone, straightening up to meet her gaze. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

She frowns, opening her mouth to respond before Ana holds up her hand to stop her. “What I did, shutting off my emotions, how I treated you and Steve. I am truly and deeply sorry.”

“Ana,” Nat sighs. “It’s okay.”

“No, no it’s not. It wasn’t.” Ana admits, spinning her wedding rings around. “You keep telling me that, everyone says it’s understandable why I did what I did, but it doesn’t make it any less wrong. I never once thought about how it might affect the people around me. By doing that, I pushed away the only family I had left. I didn’t talk to Pepper for months. I barely talk to Tony. I ruined my relationship with him. With someone who has done nothing but been there for me at my lowest points.”

“Fuck,” Ana huffs, fighting back the sting in her eyes. “I literally drove Steve to move out, but he was right. I was overly attached because I was afraid that if I stopped for one second, all the pain I was holding off would come crashing back.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I realize now how horrible I’ve been. I treated both of you like absolute shit and you didn’t deserve that. You were all just worried and concerned. I was...I was in so much pain, no matter how much I tried to fight it, but I was selfish.”

Natasha had grabbed her hand halfway through her vent. She gently squeezes her fingers. “What do you mean by selfish?” She wonders.

Ana can’t help the rueful chuckle that emits from her lips. “I’m an Empathetic Healer, Nat. I can heal energy. I could have helped; I should have helped and grieved with you.”

“That wasn’t ever expected of you, Ana. We didn’t want you to exhaust your abilities just to help us instead. You had more to deal with at the time, you were newly pregnant and at a high health risk.”

“But I could have-”

“No, you couldn’t, and we would never have asked that of you.” Natasha argues sternly. “That’s the one thing you don’t have to apologize for or feel guilty about. Got it?”

She nods, sniffing. “I’m sorry for putting everyone through that. I was missing Bucky, my family and forgot I still had my family right in front of me.”

After a long pause and hug from Natasha- the somber stretch broken up by the sounds of Alex playing- Nat pulls back and hooks her finger under her chin to make sure their eyes remain on each other.

“You’re family, Ana, that never changed. Apology accepted. Now, I don’t want to hear anymore sorrys from you, just continue to take care of your health. And that beautiful little girl, who by the way, somehow stole the last of my avocado when I wasn’t looking.”

“Do you know how many times I found the nutella Bucky always tried hiding from me?” Ana replies with a smirk.

“Sharp shooter, fantastic hand to hand, hiding anything from you? Utter failure,” Nat deadpans. Ana cackles, rolling her eyes. “Really though, I’m glad you’ve been going to therapy and finally taking care of your mental health.” Then she mumbles, “Unlike Rogers.”

Ana starts. “Wait...what do you mean?”

Natasha winces, quickly grabbing the wine and chugging. Ana narrows her gaze, but takes the break in their conversation to check on Alex, who had been gazing up at her mother with wide blue eyes. Her bottom lip popping out, her expression wrinkled like she was close to crying. Ana soothes her, flashing a bright smile and cooing until her cute face relaxes.

“What’s wrong with Steve?” Ana questions, picking up her daughter and sitting on the bed again.

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” Natasha answers, tickling Alex’s thighs and making her giggle. “Just that we both know how he handles his own guilt.”

“So he did leave because of me.”

A half shrug. “I think it was more along the line of where he felt like he couldn’t face you, or any of us anymore because of his own guilt. He was struggling long before he moved out. I think it got to be too much for him. He saw how you were improving in some ways and figured it was time to deal with his own failure. Those are his words, not mine.”

Ana scoffs in frustration. “I’ve told him none of it was his fault. He shouldn’t feel guilty or carry this weight for the entire world.��

“It’s Steve Rogers.” Natasha reminds her flatly. She takes the cork that Alex just found out of her hands, giving her a small book to play with instead.

Deciding not to press anymore, Ana trades Alex for the bottle of wine, passing her baby over to Nat.

“Are you even allowed to drink that?” She asks, quirking her eyebrow.

“I have enough bottles of milk set aside. Besides, Alex prefers the baby food more these days.” She answers, then takes a long drag.

“‘S that why your coffee intake has skyrocketed?” She smirks.

“Listen. I went a year without caffeine, leave me alone.”

***

Jamie Alexandra Barnes is eleven and a half months old when Ana visits Steve for the first time. He hasn’t visited in five months, despite him saying he would.

Teething is a horrible feat, has been for months. Ana’s heart breaks every time Alex puffs out her bottom lip, wobbling with fat tears in her eyes. Ana is ready to fight the entire world if it meant her baby was no longer in pain.

This time around, her fourth tooth coming in keeps her up during the night, which makes her cranky and fussy. Ana has tried giving her cold teething rings, massaged her gums, among other things, nothing seems to be working that day.

“Oh, Alex. I know, baby girl, I know, I just don’t know what else to do.” Ana hushes, nearly close to tears herself. She continues to bounce and sway with Alex.

She’s been crying for nearly an hour. Even when Ana plays Bucky’s recorded lullabies she remains inconsolable. Ana’s chest tightens the longer Alex cries, her eyes red and her little cheeks soaked with tears. She’s afraid she’ll dehydrate herself if she continues, or run a fever.

The compound is empty, everyone out for smaller missions or research. No one is there to help calm Alex, or take her for just a moment so Ana can figure out what to do. For the first time since she brought her daughter home from the hospital, she’s truly alone. It’s one of the many things she took for granted, and mentally slaps herself for.

It’s times like these that a deep longing ache for Bucky hits her so hard, Ana finally cries herself. With it comes clarity, and without a second thought, Ana quickly gathers the diaper bag, throws a few onesies in and checks the bag for extra diapers and wipes. She slips her shoes on and coat, and quickly hurries through the house. All the while, Alex continues to cry, hiccuping sobs as she presses her face into Ana’s chest. Stepping out of the elevators to the lower garage, Ana coos her daughter all the way. She straps her in the car seat once she unlocks the car.

“I know, I know, Alex, it’s okay, sweetie.” She shushes, kissing her overheated forehead.

She tries giving her a teething biscuit but she refuses it. Ana hands Alex her favorite stuffed bunny gifted to her by Carol before she left, the little girl clutching to it. She tries a pacifier, but Alex just spits it back out. Ana jogs to the driver seat, finally starting the car and taking off.

Within two minutes of driving, Alex’s cries have slowed down to little shuddering breaths, Ana checking on her every chance she gets. When she stops at a light, she reaches behind her to place the pluggie back in her mouth. This time, Alex accepts it, her wet eyes staring in wonder out the window.

“Car rides calm you, got it.” Ana sighs warily. She turns on soft calming music and continues to drive. Not even ten minutes in, she suddenly has an idea; an impromptu road trip.

Two hours later, Ana finally parks. Alex had fallen asleep by the first hour but when she takes Alex out of the car seat, she starts fussing again. She wraps her little puff jacket around her before Ana pulls her out of the car and into the brisk air. Little fists clutch desperately in Ana’s coat, those whimpers the most heartbreaking sounds Ana has ever heard. She shoulders the diaper back, then climbs the stairs of the stoop to get to her location.

“Please, please be here,” Ana hopes, quickly raping her knuckles on the door. She coos at her sniffling daughter while they wait. The door blessedly opens, relief and shock smacking her all at once.

Steve stands in the doorway looking worn out. His gray henley is ripped in places, black sweat pants hang low on his hips, wrinkled. His hair has grown longer and untamed, some strands reaching his ears, and his beard has grown thicker. It’s the sunken eyes with the dark bags that hit Ana the hardest. Like he hasn’t known sleep for days.

“Ana,” Steve breathes out, obviously taken off guard. He blinks, eyes roaming over her once before shifting to Alex.

“Hi,” Ana balances, abruptly thinking it was a bad idea to show up unannounced. She also looks down at her daughter briefly, who is hiding her face, before looking back.

“W-what are you doing here?”

“I uh...I couldn’t get Alex to calm down. No matter what I tried she wouldn’t stop crying and everyone is gone right now. I mean, she did nap in the car for a bit, but she’s reverse cycling right now on top of teething and I just-“

“Come in, come in. It’s freezing,” Steve quickly ushers them inside.

“I’m sorry for just showing up like this but I didn’t know what else to do. I just put her in the car to see if driving would help and then I decided to come here,” Ana explains, barely taking in his rather cozy apartment. “Luckily she fell asleep halfway through the ride. I just- I have no right to ask, but can you help please?”

The sympathy coloring his expression lasts for a second. “Oh, look at this little honey bee,” Steve coos, bending to her level. “What’s got you so upset, Alex, huh?”

Alex sniffles, her face screwing up, a sign Ana knows all too well. Before she starts to cry again, Steve carefully takes the girl from Ana, cradling the baby in his strong arms. Immediately, her bottom pops out, trembling as she stares up at Steve. He coos at her, patting her back, and slowly, her little lip flattens out.

Ana watches in awe, her daughter lifting her little hands to grab his beard. Steve just smiles sweetly at her, starting to make silly faces as he sways her around his living room. Ana drops the diaper bag on his couch, taking off her coat, shaking her head as Alex’s eyes start drooping already. Either her child exhausted herself out with tears, or Steve has just the right touch. Either way, after three minutes pass, Alex’s eyes flutter before closing, out like a light.

“How did you do that?” Ana deflates in disbelief.

He looks baffled himself as he shrugs, continuing to rock the little girl. “She’s gotten so big,” He notes solemnly.

“Yeah...you’ve been away for a hot minute,” Ana levels him with a stern look. His expression turns remorseful, flashing her an apologetic smile. Ana catches the time on the stove in his kitchen, reading 6:35pm. “Told you she wouldn’t forget you. You can sit with her if you want. Hopefully she won’t wake for a while.”

Steve agrees, carefully sitting down on the armchair. Ana chooses the other couch, tucking her good knee under her as she sits on the seat closest to Steve’s.

“I have a confession,” Ana informs, keeping her voice low so as not to wake her daughter. “I also came here to apologize to you.”

Steve adjusts himself, sitting back in the single armchair to get comfortable with Alex. “I should apologize too.”

“Can I go first?” She requests sheepishly. When Steve relents with a nod, she continues. “I’m sorry, Steve, for everything. I-I don’t regret turning off my emotions when I did, for the sake of Alex. I do regret what it did to you, how I treated you the entire time, and after.

“You were right, I was hiding behind Alex for a while. She was the only thing keeping my pain at bay and it was much easier to focus on her than coping. I never meant to keep you at arms length. I didn’t realize doing that would make you think I didn’t want you around my daughter.” Ana exhales shakily. “She’s Bucky’s daughter too. You’re his best friend and it wasn’t right for me to ostracize you. I was just selfish and in too much pain to see that I did.”

She pauses to press her palm to her chest, emotions beginning to surface. “I talked to Natasha about this. I should have helped you guys. I’m a healer for fucks sake, I could have at least lessened the pain.”

“And what, absorb it all in yourself? None of us would have taken you up on that offer.” Steve responds kindly.

Ana sniffs, but the wave of tears is too much to hold off. “Steve. I never wanted you to move out, and I’m sorry I was the main reason you did. You’re one of my best friends, you’re family. I didn’t mean to lose you too.”

Steve’s throat bobs, then he clears his throat softly, blue eyes pinning her to her seat. “You didn’t lose me.”

A mirthless chortle falls from her lips. “It felt like I did. I, uh. I’ve been going to group therapy. It’s helped a lot, but there are those days when I look in the mirror and despise who I see, who I’ve become. She’s not me, and it’s taken a long time to even try to get an ounce of myself back.”

Ana hastily wipes away the tears falling down her cheeks, on the verge of confessing a thought she hadn’t been able to shake for months. “The worst part is, the part I can’t stop thinking about, is-is how hurt and disappointed Bucky would be in me. He would hate me if he ever saw what I did. I-I’m not the woman he fell in love with anymore.” The last word breaks on a sob.

Steve shifts, like he wants to console her, before he remembers the sleeping baby in his arms. “Ana, that is not true.” He reprimands fiercely. “Do not go down that road.”

She’s crying too hard to respond, pressing her hand over her mouth to quiet her sobs. Her chest constantly aching with the absence of another soul, with the sheer thought of Bucky looking upon her with disgust. The awfulness began invading her mind once that odd orange dream world stopped frequently visiting her sleep.

“Hey, hey, Ana, honey, look at me,” Steve coaxes leaning forward, careful with Alex. He holds out his free hand for Ana to take, squeezing her fingers. “You’ll get yourself back, even if it’s not the exact version you were before. But I know Bucky would never stop loving you, no matter what. He would be so proud of how you protected and raised your daughter. You fell in love with every single part of him down to his soul. He would still love you the same way you love him. In fact, I believe he’s been watching over you both, smiling down at his best girls. Alright?”

Ana wipes away the fresh tears off her face with her other hand. “Y-yeah.”

“I understood your grief, we all did,” He continues gently. “We never thought you would do what you did, but you’re owning up to it now. You’ve apologized for your actions several times. I forgive you. But Ana, if you don’t start forgiving yourself, you’ll never start to move forward. Holding onto your own guilt will crush you.”

A self-deprecating chuckle emits from her mouth. “Is that what you’re doing then?”

Steve exhales heavily, slowly taking his hand away. “You felt that, huh?”

“I felt it the second you opened the door. How have you really been?”

“Let’s try to lay her down in the bed,” He suggests, standing cautiously.

Ana follows him, both keeping silent when he leads them to his room down the short hallway. As carefully as he can, Steve lowers the slumbering girl to the mattress, slipping his arms out from under her. Alex shifts, Ana biting her lip and crossing her fingers that she doesn’t wake. Steve places a hand back on her head until she settles.

Once they’re in the clear, both adults settle on either side of the small child, in case she decides to roll over. Ana lightly strokes her fingers through her daughter’s growing hair, that connection between them, although still present, had faded into a delicate hum over the past months.

“Have you been getting enough sleep?” Ana inquires with a pointed look.

Scratching his untamed beard, Steve answers, “Not for the past few nights. Nightmares fucking suck.”

Ana wholeheartedly agrees. “And...otherwise?”

“I found a support group myself. Been going for a month now. I was asked if I wanted to lead another group.”

“Wow, that’s...is that something you’re up for?”

“Maybe, down the road. How can I help others if I’m still holding shit in myself?”

Ana hums. “Founds familiar.”

“Come with me,” Steve requests, getting off the bed and grabbing a thick plush blanket.

He shifts his pillows around Alex, making a little barrier. Ana does the same, then follows Steve when he opens the window to the fire escape. The burst of frigid air bites at her skin, Ana closing the window to keep the warmth in the room.

There’s a single chair, and a tiny try table with a sketch pad on it. Vaguely Ana thinks the set up is a fire hazard, but then again, Steve has a habit of not using stairs. He turns the chair and offers the seat to Ana, placing the warm blanket over her lap. She has a perfect view of Alex sleeping on the bed inside. Steve settles next to her on the second step.

Abruptly, the energy surrounding Steve morphs, a dismal tinge weighing heavily in the air like the threat of rain. It pulls Ana’s gaze from her daughter to him. Steve wrings his hands together, pressing his fingers between the spaces of his knuckles, his eyes focused on them, long lashes fanning over his cheekbones. The gleam of a wet track reflects off the light emitting from his room, carving a year of grief down his face.

“Steve,” Ana cajoles gently.

A shuddering inhale. “I’ve been wallowing in my own guilt and failure,” Steve confesses thickly. “I have been since it happened. I moved out because I couldn’t handle it, I couldn’t control how I was feeling anymore. I just couldn’t keep up that strong facade of knowing what to do, of pretending to come up with a way to fix everything. And I’m not blaming you, but I was so focused on making sure you weren’t drowning...I sunk myself.”

Steve’s voice wavers, but he doesn’t stop what comes next. His face screws up, pressing his knuckles to his mouth for a moment. “I lost my best friend, my brother. I couldn’t save the world, I couldn’t save Bucky.” A heart wrenching sob distorts his words. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save him for you, for his beautiful daughter. I failed the universe, and I haven’t been able to forgive myself.”

Ana tries to keep her own tears at bay, but Steve’s shoulders shake as he full on sobs and breaks, she can’t help it. She scoots closer, pulling Steve into her arms, his face pressed into her shoulder, her arms wrapped around his back. She doesn’t know how long they stay like that; Steve’s sobs and heartbreak soaking into her shirt, into her bones. Ana just holds him as tight as she can.

Finally, after what feels like hours and temperature dropping with the threat of snow, Steve’s sobs come to an end. Slowly he pulls away, sitting up and wiping his cheeks and nose with his shirt. Ana gives him time to collect himself, cleaning her own face with her sleeve. Her eyes shift to Alex, still napping on the bed, a small victory if she continues to sleep through the night.

A calloused yet tentative hand over her left pulls her attention back to Steve. He briefly touches her wedding rings. Ana searches his face, cheeks flushed from crying. His eyelids swollen, his beard damp and the bags beneath his eyes have darkened. His licks at his dry, cracked lips; Ana making a mental note to make him drink water when they go back in.

When Steve speaks again, his voice is raw with emotions. “I needed to deal with my own pain and healing if I was going to keep my promise to Bucky,” He tells her, pulling his hand back. He meets her gaze. “I know leaving broke it anyway. I apologize for that.”

“It was a little malicious of me to throw that at you,” Ana admits, suppressing a shiver. She pulls the blanket up to her shoulders. “We may have said some things to hurt each other, unintentionally or not. I’m sor-”

“I think there’s been enough apologies to last a lifetime,” Steve chuckles lowly.

“In that case, no more sorrys. We’ll just try to move from this point, little by little.” Her teeth chatter at the end, the cold finally getting to her despite the blanket.

“Agreed. Let’s go inside, you’re freezing.”

“Fuck, that’s the truth,” Ana laughs.

The second Ana sets her foot down on the wood floor, Alex sits up as if she could sense her mother. That bottom lip popping out, those ice blue eyes of hers searching for Ana. Cringing, she rushes over, cooing and hugging her child.

“Did you happen to bring the kimoyo bead?” Steve inquires, shutting the window.

“Never go anywhere without it,” Ana answers, rocking Alex back and forth. She looks at the clock on his side table. “Ugh, she only slept for an hour. This reserve cycling is rough.”

“Maybe she’s hungry. What did you bring? I can make something for her.”

“There’s a bottle, but also cheerios and fruit. There’s rice too, if you want to heat that up a bit.”

Steve quickly exits. Ana bundles up Alex, the sleepy girl sweetly cuddling against her chest as they follow him out.

Later, after Alex had eaten and Steve ordered some pizza, he offers to try to put her asleep once more. He convinced Ana to stay the night, considering the snow beginning to fall and the streets being slick.

“I’m not staying just to kick you out of your room, Steve,” Ana scolds, crossing her arms.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Alex is already sleeping in my bed, it makes sense to be there with her. Unless you want to sleep on the lumpy couch.”

“It’s close to the coffee machine.” She smirks.

“Don’t be a pain in my ass, Barnes,” He teases with narrowed eyes. “Go sleep in the damn bed.”

“Fine,” Ana relents, dropping her arms. “But only if you make coffee in the morning.”

Little fingers drag Ana out of sleep, the fingers tracing over her lips before pulling down her bottom one. Inhaling slowly, coming to terms that she now has to wake up, otherwise her daughter will force her awake by promptly shoving her fingers up her nose. It’s happened three times before. Finally, Ana opens her eyes, rubbing the last traces of blissful sleep away. She makes eye contact with Alex, then gasps and closes her again. Alex giggles, her hand tapping over her mom’s eyelids.

Ana peeks one eye open, and the bright smile Alex greets her with melts her heart. In a quick but safe motion, she hugs her daughter close, roaring softly before attacking her with kisses. Gleeful cackles fill the room, Alex trying to push Ana away weakly. Ana stops, pressing one last kiss to her cheek. Then her daughter leans closer, connecting her forehead with her mother’s. Both girls remain like that for a minute, Ana staring sweetly into her baby girl’s blue eyes, counting the flecks of golden-brown in them.

Once Alex is changed, both of their teeth brushed, Ana exits the room by holding her little hands and helping her walk with clumsy steps down the hallway. Watching Alex attempt to walk pangs at Ana’s heart; her daughter growing up way too fast.

“Whoa, who is this little Coffee Bean strutting in here on a mission!?” Steve greets brightly, bending down to Alex’s level. “Has she tried walking by herself yet?”

“Not quite there, but soon,” Ana says. “I might cry when it does.”

Chuckling, Steve opens his arms for Alex, the little girl abruptly letting go of Ana’s hands to trip into his arms. Ana laughs through the small pang of their shared connection clenching her heart. It’s easier to ignore now. Steve greets Alex with a kiss on her head, standing up with her in his hold.

“Did you girls have a good sleep?” He questions, bopping Alex on her nose. She responds by grabbing his beard.

His oddly light tone makes Ana suspicious. She gives him an unimpressed look. “As if you didn’t stay up all night listening for any sign if we didn’t,” She replies flatly.

His smile is sheepish. “It wasn’t the whole night.”

“Uh-huh. Where’s my coffee, punk?”

“I swear you two were the same person at times,” Steve grumbles, passing Alex back to her. But the teasing glint in his eyes makes Ana smile with the grace of the Cheshire cat at the comparison of Bucky. He rolls his eyes, then messes up her already messy hair. She glares as she fixes her hair.

“She slept better this time, thank god.” Ana sighs, inhaling the aroma of the coffee he handed her. She pauses, narrowing her eyes. “Steven Grant Rogers. Is this decaf?”

He winces, taking a big step backward. “Yes it is.”

“No!” Alex suddenly chirps, then continues to munch on the piece of banana Steve gave her.

Steve blinks. Ana kisses her daughter’s head. “That’s right, Bean. Tell Uncle Stevie that depriving your mama of real coffee is a no-no.”

“You’re more yourself than you think,” Steve tells her, switching his mug with hers. His happy grin earns him one in return.

Steve finishes making breakfast, both adults making small talk while Alex chatters away with her baby language, a mix of “mama” and “no” thrown in. Ana sets a plate of scrambled eggs and the rest of the banana Steve cut up for her daughter. She gets half of it on her cheeks and clothes instead of her mouth.

After breakfast and a change of clothes for Alex, Ana offers to help with Steve’s energy. He allowed them to stay the night, offered his bed to them and cooked breakfast, the least she can do is transmute any of the heavily dark energy he has. When she says this much, Steve casts her a stern glare.

“When’s the last time you actually used your abilities?” Steve inquires. He’s been playing on the floor with Alex and the coasters she pulled off the coffee table.

“I’ll be fine, trust me.” Ana convinces. “I won’t go crazy, just enough to help you sleep better at night.”

“Okay,” He relents, then holds up one finger. “On one condition. Let me take Alex out of the house, and you nap for an extra hour or two before you drive back.”

“Deal!”

Two hours later, Ana rolls over and nearly falls off the bed, forgetting it’s not hers. She laughs at herself, untangling her legs from the comforter, groaning as she stretches. The faint sound of a familiar Disney movie reaches her ears; one she knows captures Alex’s attention for a while.

Using this time, Ana begins to gather anything she took out of the diaper bag and packs it away. She carefully places the kimoyo bead on the side table back in it’s safe place, then checks the room twice over for anything she may have missed. When she makes her way to the living room, Ana stops, mouth dropping.

“Did you buy all this?” Ana gapes, staring at several items scattered around.

Steve looks up from his task of helping Alex place colorful rings on a cone. “Hey, good nap?”

“Very, thank you. What is this stuff?”

“Alex told me, in a very serious manner, that the next time she visits, her uncle should be more prepared for her arrival.”

“Did she now?” Ana questions sarcastically, a smile teasing her lips. “She can be very adamant in her gibberish.”

“Very persuasive,” Steve nods vigorously. “Probably gets that from Nat.”

“Steve,” She laughs, gesturing to the stuff.

Sitting in the far corner next to the couch is a play pen that doubles as a crib. There’s a small stroller still in its box, a few toys, some music with lights, books and puzzles are on the table. Ana spots a little stuffed bear wearing a blue jacket propped up against Alex’s side.

He scratches the back of his neck, shrugging. “I hope it’s not imposing, and I’ll return it if it’s an issue. I just figured, well I was wondering if you two wanted to visit more often, Alex could have her own little play space.

Ana balks. “You want us to visit more often? Are you sure that’s not invading your own time and sp-“

“See the thing is, when you give yourself space, sometimes you miss the people you were spacing yourself from. Two way street though. I’ll come visit, like I said I was going to. Might get an ass kicking from Natasha though.” Steve winces at the thought.

Nodding in agreement to his statement, Ana goes to sit on the couch, brushing her hand over Alex’s head. She gives no mind to Ana, clearly captivated with her new toys. Steve grabs the bear next to the little girl, handing it to Ana. She raises a curious eyebrow.

“I saw it and I’m not sure why. It reminded me of Buck,” He says, avoiding her gaze. “Think it’s the jacket, like the one he wore during the war.”

She brushes her fingers over the jacket, a soft smile on her lips. “It’s cute.”

A slew of emotions roll through her chest, coming to a realization. Ana showed up on Steve’s door step, unannounced five months after he moved out. He has been trying to heal, process the death of his friends, process his own guilt and yet Steve welcomed them into his safe haven. He eagerly helped with Alex, had put her to such a state of comfort she fell asleep almost immediately. Steve had opened up, showed his broken vulnerable side, cried together and had forgiven her. He allowed them to spend the night, and just went out of his way to take Alex around the city, coming back with gifts in hopes for more visits.

Ana has no doubt for what she does next.

“Steve,” She speaks softly. He looks up from Alex, eyes patient, curious. “Will you be Jamie’s godfather?”

Steve freezes. Ana doesn’t think he even breathes for several seconds. She fiddles with the bear in her hands as she waits, straightening out its jacket. A delightful coo from Alex on the floor when she pressed a button on a new toy seems to finally shake Steve back.

“A-are you sure?” He breaths, uncertainty all over his face.

“Absolutely.” She confirms. “I asked Natasha to be her godmother about a month ago. I mean, she could fill both parts but-”

“Yes! Yeah, I would be honored too.”

Ana beams at him, earning back the truest grin she’s seen on Steve in over a year.

Later that afternoon, Ana gets Alex ready to head back north, changing her diaper and pulling on her jacket. Steve holds her while Ana triple checks that she has everything in the diaper bag. She spots three white envelopes, remembering the invitations she made at the beginning of January. She pulls one out.

“Oh, here,” She says, handing it to Steve. “Alex turns one in a few weeks. I would love for you to come.”

His face melts into something fond, kissing the little girl’s forehead. “Jesus. A whole year already.”

“Yeah, we’re not gonna talk about it. My baby is growing way too fast,” Ana chokes up a little, blinking away the sting in her eyes. “So, will you come? Please?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” Steve promises, then he tickles Alex on her thighs. “Huh, little Coffee Bean? You gotta stop growing so fast!”

“Eeb!” She squeals gleefully, tucking her head to his chest.

“Uh, I think that means Steve,” Ana chuckles.

Steve hugs Alex tighter. He brings her out to the car, strapping her into the safety seat, giving her one last kiss, and tucking the new bear he got her next to her bunny. Ana waits until he shuts the door. When he turns, she hugs him, arms squeezed around his torso. Steve returns the hug, and the familiarity of family washes through her; their emotions calmer than they have been.

“Thank you, Steve, for everything.” Ana mumbles into his shirt.

“Don’t even mention it,” He tells her, his arms a vice grip around her shoulders. “Really, I promise to visit when I can.”

They break apart, walking to the drivers side. Steve opens her door, then closes it once Ana is settled and clicks her seat belt on.

“Drive safe, and please, let me know when you get back.” He commands.

“I will. Alex, baby, can wave bye-bye to Uncle Steve?” Ana questions lightly, looking over her shoulder. Alex lifts her hand, scrunching her fingers quickly and smiling.

Steve waves back, laughing. As Ana drives away, she feels much lighter than she had for the past year. Any lingering tension between her and Steve has finally dissipated.

One Year and Six months later . July 2021. Three years after snap:

Ana has to be sneaky, quiet as she peers around the corner, the anticipation of being caught a high risk. She startles at a small noise, quickly presses herself as close to the wall as she can, squeezing her eyes shut, hoping her position won’t be compromised. Abruptly a voice calls out.

“Fond yuuoo!”

The little voice squealing with excitement breaks Ana’s faux spy mode, yelling in delight as well. She scoops up her daughter, spinning Alex around as she giggles uncontrollably.

“Yes you did, Bean!” Ana exclaims, kissing her sweet face. “Good job!”

A round of hide and seek has been going on for the past ten minutes. Alex has immensely enjoyed hiding under blankets and popping out to “scare” her mother. Somehow, she found one of Bucky’s jackets in the open closet, choosing to hide under the leather. The sight of her big blue eyes peering over the collar was so cute, that the pang throbbing in Ana’s heart didn’t last long.

“You’re such a good little spy! Auntie Nat would be so proud!” Ana cheers.

The toddler laughs again, planting a sloppy kiss on her mother’s lips. She makes a loud muah! sound when she pulls back. “Mommy’s ‘urn!”

“My turn? I go find you now?”

“Yes!” Alex squirms as a way to be let down. Ana complies, making sure her little feet are on the ground before she lets go. Halfway through running away, Alex stops and turns to look back at her mom. “I hungree.”

Ana can’t help but chuckle, her daughter just too adorable for her own good. She bends down, opening her arms just as Alex runs into them. “How about I just eat you for lunch instead?”

She pretends to munch on her shoulder, down to her belly. Her daughter’s joyous laughter is a beautiful symphony filling the air. It’s been one of Ana’s favorite sounds in the entire universe for the past two and a half years, right next to Bucky’s lullaby. It’s moments like these when the energy connection Ana shares with Alex feels stronger, despite the intensity of it fading over the years. It still remains, just not as potent, which has made it much easier for them to be away from each other for a few hours or even a weekend.

“Mama!” Alex pats her hair, curling her fist in the strands. “Pway daddy’s song.”

Ana smiles sweetly, emotions always flaring up when she asks about Bucky’s recording. She pushes her chestnut hair away from her eyes, the golden-brown flecks glimmering in the sea of blue. She fondly kisses the little dimple in her chin.

“How about we go get some yummys, then we can listen to daddy’s song. Sound good?”

“Nummy, nummies!” Alex shouts happily. “Auntie Nat too!”

“Yes, we can make breakfast for Auntie Nat too.”

The second the words leave Ana’s mouth, Alex with the graceful skills a two and a half year old should not have, maneuvers herself out of her mother’s arms, and takes off running. Hurriedly, Ana goes after her, her right knee joint popping as she stands. Vaguely she wonders not for the first time, if the serum has affected Alex yet. She has better hearing, and faster running than any other toddler she’s seen.

“Come back here, you little bean!” Ana teases, just seeing her little girl disappear down the hall towards the office. “Nat! Little monster incoming!”

When Ana skids into the office, she has to halt herself. Alex stopped in the middle of the room, staring at something. She turns, lifting her arms to her mom. Picking her up, Ana follows her gaze.

“Steve!” Ana starts in surprise. “Hi. Did we know you were coming today?”

“Impromptu visit,” He shrugs, wiggling his fingers at Alex. Once the little girl realizes who is in the chair, she waves back animatedly. She might not have recognized him without his beard, his face now clean shaven.

“He claims to be checking up on me,” Natasha inputs, her feet on the desk. Her eyes are glassy, the tip of her nose red. She had been crying, and the energy of the emotions settles over Ana.

“I offered to cook,” Steve quips, reaching over to tickle Alex’s foot. She giggles and hides her face in her moms hair.

“Ahh, that explains the tears,” Ana winks, then shoots Natasha a look. The other woman sniffs but flashes a brief smile.

“I threw my egg sandwich at him,” Natasha retorts, her trademark smirk pulling up the corner of her mouth. She fiddles with her hair, now mostly a pretty ombré mix of red and blonde, the length just past her shoulders.

Before Ana can respond, an alert screen pops up in front of Natasha. She opens it with a lazy flick of her hand. A voice echoing through the room stuns them.

“Hi! Is anyone home!? This is Scott Lang! We met a few years ago, at the airport, in Germany!”

All three adults turn their attention to the video screen. Ana feels like her heart ceases, her mouth falling open. She meets Steve’s eyes who quickly meets Natasha's, staring wide eyed at the screen.

“Is this-is this an old message?” Steve stutters breathlessly as he stands.

“Ant-Man!” The video continues, the man chatting away frantically.

“It’s the front gate,” Natasha intones, odd relief coloring her voice.

“What?” Ana whispers, stepping closer. She notes the timestamp at the top of the screen.

Alex pats her cheek, softly saying “Mama?”

“Oh my god. Oh my god!”

“How is this possible?” Steve utters, half in awe, half in disbelief.

“Oh my god, let him in!” Ana demands.

An hour later has Ana with her head in her hands, shaking it back and forth.

When Natasha arrived back with Scott, he began to explain what happened to him in a jumbled chaotic mess of words. Natasha and Steve were able to calm him down, fed him after he nearly lunged for Nat’s leftover sandwich. Ana had to leave to take care of Alex, quickly feeding her lunch and putting her down for a nap. Thankfully their game of hide and seek wore the little girl out, and she was drifting off to dreamland by the first chorus of Bucky’s lullaby.

Now Ana is attempting to soothe herself, keeping her emotions and energy down. Especially after she heard the haunting call of Bucky’s voice in her head again; it’s been four months since she heard it.

“Explain it again,” Ana requests. She rubs her eyes before she looks at Scott.

He nods jerkily, an awkward grimace on his face. “Right. I was in the Quantum Realm. Hope, my...s-she was supposed to pull me out, but Thanos happened and I was stuck in there.”

“For three years?” Natasha frowns sympathetically.

“No, that’s just it. It wasn’t three years for me...it was three hours.” He elaborates. He must notice the skepticism on their faces. “I swear! The rules in there aren’t like they are up here. Time works differently in the Quantum Realm, it’s unpredictable chaos. But what if we could control it and navigate it? What if we can enter it at one point of time, then exit at another point of time? Like- Before Thanos.”

“Like a DeLorean?” Ana questions the same time Steve asks, “Like a time machine?”

“N-no, of course not!” Scott stutters, then blinks. “Well, yes. A-a time machine. It’s crazy...”

Natasha chortles under her breath. “Scott, I get emails from a raccoon, nothing is crazy anymore.”

“You’re talking about possible time travel by entering different points of time through this Quantum Realm.” Ana repeats, musing for the sake of herself. She massages her temples.

This could mean so many things. This could...this could bring back- she swallows the thick lump in her throat, forcing herself not to get any hopes up just yet. She rubs her fingers along her collarbone, chewing the corner of her lip.

“Exactly.” Scott comments. “Is there anyone- who do we talk to about this?”

Both Steve and Natasha stare hard enough for Ana to feel it, lifting her eyes to meet their gazes. All it takes is that split second look for it to click. Falling back against the couch cushions, she exhales heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Fine.” She relents with a grumble, hands thrown up in the air. “But we’re taking Alex.”

Stark Lakeside Cabin: Vermont

Lush green and brown trees blur together like a watercolor painting, the scenic view serene as the nature rushes by. Though staring out the window for the past hour of driving should have settled Ana’s nerves, the sight contrasts with the anxiety rolling in her stomach. She alternates between rubbing the skin of her collarbones raw and twisting her fingers together.

“Mommy?”

The little voice barely breaks through the contemplation of her thoughts, her feelings. If it weren’t for the worry in her daughter’s voice Ana probably wouldn’t have acknowledged her surroundings. A small hand reaches out, gently patting her cheek, a trait Alex has done since she was a baby; especially when Ana’s emotions were surging.

“Sorry, baby girl,” Ana coos, shaking herself out of her stupor. She kisses the tips of her fingers.

“Is sad, mama?” Alex pouts. Her blue eyes round, concerned. Ana swears her daughter has moments of wisdom far too advanced for her age. Maybe it’s their connection causing her to feel for her mother.

Soothing her hair back, Ana says, “No, love. Mama’s just fine.”

“You pway daddy’s song!” The toddler exclaims, throwing her arms up. She suddenly hands Ana her stuffed bear, bunny and her blanket. “Nap, mommy.”

Ana can’t help it, she cracks a wide smile, a tiny chuckle escaping. “Thank you, Bean. You’re the bestest.”

Alex looks proud of herself, leaning as much as she can in her car seat and puckering her lips. Ana tilts the rest of the way, pecking her daughter’s lips, then her nose. When she straightens, she catches Scott gazing at them with a fond expression. However, the flash of blue staring at her from the rear view mirror focuses her attention on Steve.

Once Alex had woken from her nap, the three adults gathered in Ana’s car, insisting the Audi SUV would be roomy enough for the nearly four hour drive. She packed extra clothes, diapers, food and a few toys in the diaper bag before buckling Alex in the car seat. Ana handed the keys over to Steve, opting to sit in the back with Alex and Scott.

Now, Natasha subtly nudges Steve arm resting on the middle console, his eyes snap back to the road.

“Okay, what is it?” Ana miffs. “You’ve been shooting me looks for an hour, Steve.”

He shrugs, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. “You sure you’re feeling alright?”

“Because your energy is making it a little dense in here.” Natasha divulges, tossing a pointed look over her shoulder.

“I thought it was just stuffy in here,” Scott inputs optimistically. “I forgot you had powers.”

Groaning, Ana throws the blanket over her head to hide her face. “Sorry,” She mutters. “I wasn’t aware I was doing anything.”

“Eh, you’re lucky the car is still running,” Nat teases. “It is an electrically run system.”

“Nat,” Steve reprimands lightly. “Get your feet off the dash. Have some manners, Romanoff.” His mirthful tone makes Natasha stick her tongue out at him.

“You’re no fun, Rogers. This is Ana’s car, she makes the rules.”

The blanket suddenly yanks off Ana’s head, Alex giggling next to her right. Ana pokes her belly, then turns her attention back to the front.

“I’ll be fine, I’m just nervous,” She bites her lip briefly before continuing. “I’ve spoken to Tony a few times, but it’s the first time I’ll see him in… almost three years.”

Another quick look from Steve in the mirror. “He does know we’re coming. Right?”

Ana slouches as much as she can with the seat belt, grimacing. “Not exactly.”

Steve groans.

“I told Pepper! May have told her not to tell him, just in case he decides to conveniently not be there when we show up.”

“This sounds like it’ll go swell.” Scott chirps sarcastically.

After three and a half long hours and two pits stop for Alex’s sake, they finally arrive at the Stark household in Vermont. The rustic cabin secluded in the woods, sits fifty years from a lake, the afternoon sun glittering in fractals off the surface. The view is beautiful, serene, does nothing to settle Ana’s nerves. Especially when she sees Tony walking up to his cabin carrying his child in his arms. He falters when he spots them before he continues on, turning back once. Natasha throws him a nod, as if the past three years hadn’t happened.

Tony nods back.

“You guys go ahead,” Ana insists, “We’ll be there in a minute.”

Steve’s concerned gaze lingers until Natasha grabs him by the elbow, leading the way for the two men. Ana takes her time unbuckling Alex, her little hands on her cheeks stop her.

“Is sad, mommy.” Alex whines again, patting her hand on her face.

“No, baby doll, I promise. I’m not sad,” Ana kisses her and puts a big smile on her face. “See! Nothing but smiles for my little bean!”

Bringing Alex in through the front door, she greets Pepper with a long hug. Her cousin says hello to her daughter, then leads Alex by the hand to Morgan, introducing the young girls. It’s also the first time Ana has met Pepper and Tony’s daughter in person, but Morgan recognizes her from all the video chats Ana had with Pepper. The children get along immediately, Morgan, now five, shares her toys with Alex.

When Pepper convinces Ana to join the others outside, like a mature thirty-four year old, Ana whines; nerves spiking again. The older woman nudges her towards the door, promising to keep an eye on the girls. Ana quietly steps out on the deck, coming into the middle of their conversation, taking a seat on of the wicker chairs.

“The stones are in the past, we can go back and get them,” Steve is urging.

“We can snap our own fingers, bring everyone back,” Natasha adds.

“Or screw up worse than he already has.” Tony argues.

“I don’t believe we would.” Steve asserts.

“I gotta say sometimes I miss that giddy optimism,” Tony snips. “However, high hopes won’t help if there’s not a logical, tangible way for me to safely execute said time heist. I believe the most likely outcome will be our collective demise.”

Ana bites her the corner of her thumbnail, tuning out their conversation to concentrate on keeping her energy under control. She had a slight feeling Tony would be against their plan, the hurt, the disappointment, the fact that she got her hopes up for even the smallest amount of stings. None of this will work if they don’t have Tony on their side.

Hearing the desperation in Scott’s voice makes Ana pay attention again, closely watching Tony’s face.

“I know you got a lot on the line,” Scott is saying. “A wife, a daughter. But I lost someone very important to me, a lot of people did, and now now we have a chance to bring her back. To bring everyone back, and now you’re telling me-”

“That’s right, I am.” Tony cuts him off with no remorse. “I wish you came here to ask me something, I really do. I’m honestly happy to see you guys, table is set for seven-”

Steve interrupts him this time, stepping forward. “Tony I’m happy for you, I’m really am, but this is a second chance-”

“I got my second chance right here, Cap. I can’t roll the dice on it.”

Ana drops her face in her hands. She listens to Natasha’s gentle decline to stay for lunch, a short exchange of goodbyes and three sets of footsteps walking off the deck. Blowing out a forceful breath, Ana realizes her and Tony are alone for the first time in years. She lifts her head, met with Tony’s stoic gaze as she stands.

“Whatever you’re going to say,” He begins holding up a hand. “It won’t change my mind.”

“I know,” Ana replies softly.

They stare at each other, the air between them filled with unspoken resentment, hurt, anger. Remorse. Ana flexes her hands then curls her fingers, tampering back her urge to transmute the tension between them. The slightest pinched of Tony’s eyebrows breaks it all.

“I’m sorry.” They admit at the same time.

They laugh awkwardly. Tony dips his head, a silent notion for Ana to go first. Shoving her hands through her hair to give her something to do, she counts her breaths mentally before beginning. It’s been three years. Three long, exhausting, heartbreaking years.

Standing in front of Tony now, someone who had become Ana’s family, who had been witness to her most life-threatening moments of her life, is overwhelming. Someone who has grown to care and love her like his own blood. Who had done everything in his power to protect her, to protect Bucky when it came to it. Who accepted Bucky despite their complicated issues. Ana is tired, she missed Tony and it’s time to mend their broken bridge.

“I should have never thrown the arc reactor at your head,” Ana admits earnestly. “I-I was in so much pain, Tony. I was hurting and scared. I lost Bucky and I...I felt when he d-died. I felt him ripped from my soul, I felt the whole world. Clearly I wasn’t in a good place when you rescued, we both weren’t. I don’t think we meant the things we said. I shouldn’t have iced you out-”

“Stop right there,” Tony cuts her off. He makes a motion like he wants to console her, but refrains. “That’s on me. I’m the one who cut you out.”

Ana scoffs. “You weren’t the one who shut their emotions off for months.”

“No, which- don’t ever do that again. Pep’s stress levels- nearly drank the entire wine cellar.”

“That’s a lot of wine.”

Tony chuckles lowly. “No, I didn’t have the talent to turn off emotions, but I may as well have. Cutting you out, not making any effort to reach out. I had time to heal from at least half of what happened. I got lucky. You...you had lost yet another member of your family.”

A lump forms in Ana’s throat, eyes beginning to water. Tony’s eyes glisten.

“I was...Pep and I...we were there for you during every loss, your parents and brother.” Tony puts his hand on his chest. “I should have been there for you when you lost Bucky, even after. I wasn’t, because of my own stubborn ass pride. I am genuinely sorry about that, Ana.”

Wiping the tears off her cheeks, Ana inclines her head, hugging herself. Tony clears his throat, then closes the distance between them, pulling her in for a long overdue hug. She wraps her arms around his chest, gripping his shirt, allowing herself to feel his energy, his emotions. The sensation of forgiveness merging together from them both.

“I’ve missed you, kid.” Tony chokes, his chin atop her head. “I really did.”

“I missed you too,” Ana sniffs. “You’ve no idea.”

Once they break apart, they take a moment to clean their own faces. Ana blows out a breath, looking over her shoulder at the car, Steve, Natasha and Scott waiting patiently.

“Listen,” Ana begins. “I understand why you don’t want to help. You have a beautiful life, a beautiful family. I wouldn’t want to risk that either. It’s why I didn’t come here to convince you.”

“You didn’t just come to apologize either.” He specifies.

“I did not. I think it’s time you meet my daughter. Officially.”

“I would be honored.” Tony grins, like he wasn’t just crying into her hair.

Ana holds up one finger, quickly going inside. She finds Alex playing with Morgan, Pepper watching from the couch. She shoots Ana a questioning look, to which she shoots her a thumbs up. Pepper fist pumps, muttering “finally.”

She gently cajoles Alex to come with her, promising she can say goodbye to her cousin before they leave. Alex clings to her when they step back outside, Tony leaning against the wooden railing. His face brightens when he sees the little girl.

“Tony, this is Jamie Alexandra,” Ana introduces, bouncing Alex once on her hip.

Tony’s entire expression softens as he bends to Alex’s level offering her a soft friendly grin. “Nice to finally meet you, Alex.” He greets with a chipper tone. “I’m your Uncle Tony.”

Alex shies away just a little, hiding her face then peaking out.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Ana encourages softly. “He’s just old, he won’t bite.”

Tony shoots her a playful glare, then back to Alex, he pulls a silly face. Alex giggles once, then reaches out her little hand to grab at his goatee. His smile widens. “Can I get a high five?”

Alex shoots her hand out, smacking her palm against his. He proceeds to compliment her yellow velcro shoes, getting her to chat back with him. After two minutes, Alex is launching herself into Tony’s open arms, making her mother’s stomach drop to her feet.

“I hate when she does that,” Ana huffs, hand fluttering over her heart. “She’s got the agility of a gymnast right now.”

He hums in thought, hugging the girl to his chest. “Interesting. Those are some strong genes, strong grip too. She’s the spitting image of Barnes.”

A wave of longing and pride floods through Ana. “Yeah,” She exhales shakily. “At least I have a part of him in her.”

“She’s beautiful, Ana.”

“Thank you. She’s a charmer too, just like her father. Won over Nebula in a heartbeat.”

“She’s a softie at heart once you get past that murderous attitude,” Tony chuckles. He sighs, face crestfallen. “I’m sorry I can’t help.”

Ana shakes her head. “Stop. I understand. Just...hold them close, okay?”

“Will you sing daddy’s song?” Alex pipes up, using those baby blue eyes on him. Ana can almost see his heart melting.

“He doesn’t know daddy’s song, Alex,” Ana explains gently, fixing her askew shirt. “But how about we go say goodbye to your cousin Morgan and Aunt Pepper?”

“Okay,” She pouts, that lip popping out.

“What is that face? I bet I can fix that little pout,” Tony coos. “I have a juice pop just for you!”

Once they’re driving on the road again, Ana closes her eyes, wary from the trip and emotions. Alex is chattering away with Scott, the man animatedly responding back to her. Soft music croons through the radio, and the front of the car has been silent.

“What now?” Ana mumbles, rubbing her dry eyes. “We can’t do this without Tony. We have to do this right. If we don’t...I don’t want to get my hopes up and then just- I don’t think I’ll be able to handle losing him again.”

“I agree, which is why we’re making another pit stop,” Steve informs, voice tight around the edges. “It’s on the way though.”

Frowning, Ana wonders why Steve has decided to make another stop on this road trip, and where they could possibly be going.

“When’s the last time any of us saw Bruce Banner?” Ana whispers as they approach the diner.

Steve hikes Alex further up his hip as he steps up to the door. “Two and a half years ago?”

“Let’s hope he’ll go for- whoa.” Scott starts, then abruptly stops.

Ana and Natasha exchanged confused looks, allowing Steve to enter the diner before them. He halts in his tracks. Alex startles, whimpering and hiding her face in Steve’s shoulder, fearfully clutching his jacket. Ana doesn’t even bother to see what scared her daughter, a spike of fear darkening the energy around her baby girl. Steve calmly turns, allowing Ana to take her from his arms.

“You should wait in the car,” He tells her, mystified expression on his face.

Ana peers around his body. “Oh. Oh my- what the hell?”

Waving happily in their direction, is the giant green hand of the Hulk. Dressed in a preppy cardigan sweater, and wearing black rimmed glasses. The sight is a little unnerving.

“What the fuck?” Natasha breathes.

“We’ll be in the car.” Ana states, awkwardly waving back before she turns to leave.

She ends up finding an ice cream place not too far from the diner. Ana allows Alex to sit in the open trunk as she messily licks chocolate ice cream off her spoon. Ana keeps peering into the Diner, noting the disappointment look on Hulk’s- uh Bruce’s- on his face.

As Ana wipes Alex’s face clean with wipes, the three adults exit the dinner with unreadable expressions. Except for Scott, he just looks utterly baffled. After Steve pulls onto the road again, Ana fishes for information.

“Sooo…” She drags out. “How-?”

“Bruce managed to merge himself and the Hulk together,” Natasha informs. “I don’t even know.”

“It was weird right? That was weird? It was weird.” Scott babbles.

“So he’s basically a hybrid?” Ana clarifies. “And yes, it’s a little weird.”

“A lot. It’s a lot weird- strange,” Scott whispers, eyes wide like he can’t unsee what he saw.

Alex tilts her head curiously, then she offers her bunny to him. Scott breaks his shock, accepting the comfort stuffed animal. He gingerly pats her head and proceeds to make a show of cuddling the bunny to his chest. Pride and adoration bloom in Ana’s chest for her daughter.

“Right, well. What did he say? Did he agree?” Ana questions.

“Took a bit of convincing, but yes,” Steve answers, eyes meeting hers in the rear view mirror.

For the first time in three years, Ana allows herself just the faintest ounce of hope.

It takes three days for Bruce and Scott to figure out- hopefully - the Quantum Realm and traveling through it. Ana had stayed well out of the way, Quantum Physics being too far off her scope of practice. Although Bruce tried to persuade her into attempting to control and feeling out some of the energy raging through the portal. Ana refused; not that she possibly couldn’t do it, but she had Alex to think about and if something went wrong well. She wasn’t going to make an orphan out of her daughter.

Now Alex is taking turns feeding Ana her chicken nuggets as they sit at the dining table. The toddler tries to feed her stuffed animals sitting next to her, and Ana doesn't have the heart to tell her that her BunBun and Beary can’t actually eat it. So when she isn’t looking, Ana quickly eats their portions, just to make Alex smile in satisfaction.

Heavy footsteps echo from the entrance, an irritated Steve sped walking past, shaking his head. There’s a cloud of exasperated energy hanging over him, disappearing down the hallway towards his room. Ana stands, straining her ears to listen to what he might be doing. She doesn’t wait long, for he comes stomping back.

“Uh, Steve?” Ana calls cautiously.

“He turned into a baby,” Steve snaps, throwing his hands up in the air as he exits. “A fucking baby!”

Gaping, Ana just blinks, wondering what exactly happened down in the hanger. Then-

“Fucking!”

Ana gasps hearing her daughter’s little voice repeating the curse. She looks down, Alex oddly seems coy, proud of herself and she resembles Bucky so much, it almost makes Ana laugh.

“No!” Ana scolds, but her lips are twitching.

“Fucking!” Alex chirps, munching on a chicken nugget.

“Jamie Alexander, that is a bad word. We do not say that.”

Alex hunches her shoulders, corners of her mouth pulled down, those sky blue eyes round and innocent. Ana holds out for as long as she can, narrowing her eyes with her arms crossed. Alex scoots the rest of her food over to her mother, the right corner of her mouth ticking up. Ana’s heart clenches; daughter of Bucky Barnes indeed.

“Swrry, mama,” Alex mumbles. "Is mad mommy?"

Finally, she cracks a smile. “No, baby doll.” She kisses her forehead and steals one more nugget.

Five minutes pass, Alex carrying her plate to the sink with Ana’s help, when two sets of footsteps alert her. She hands her daughter another juice box, as Steve enters again. Trailing behind him is Tony.

Inhaling sharply, Ana stares at him. Tony being here means one thing. He shrugs, holding up his fist, a strange watch-like gadget wrapped around his hand.

“Figured it out,” Tony announces like he’s noting the weather. “Let’s not harp on it. I was getting bored up there, composting isn’t as thrilling as it sounds.”

Ana exhales on a half laugh. “We’re doing this then?”

The gleam in Tony’s dark eyes sparks a new hope in Ana’s chest.

“We’re doing this.”

****************************************************************

A/N: This isn't one of the favorite chapters I've written so I apologize if it's lackluster or no one liked it. But, it's important to set up for the next chapters and coming to the end of this story.

Drabbles: Twenty-Five Drabbles: Twenty-Seven

Tags: @thecreatiivecorner @buckyland @stressedasalways @watchoutforfrostbite @justreadingfics @keldachick @eurynome827 @elatedmarvel @shesalatesh @paintedgreywriting @buckaroo-blue @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin @crushedbyhyperbole @jaxthebookworm @gamorazenn @happinessisaloadedgun @je-suis-prest-rachel

#delicate stages of life #delicate stages drabbles #Bucky Barnes x OFC #bucky barnes x ana rios #steve rogers x platonic!ofc #steve rogers x platonic!ana #bucky barnes x original female character #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction

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