#i might color the first one at some point

[sanakiras]

DISTRACTION

PAIRING — xu minghao x reader

WORD COUNT — 1.5k

SYNOPSIS — you can’t help staring at your best friends’s hands. when he pushes you to tell him why, things in your relationship take a turn.

TAGS — minghao in a suit, explicit sexual content, pure self-indulgence, porn with no plot, fem!reader

NOTE — there’s something sooo attractive about a man having long fingers. also i just have a crush on the8. no i will not elaborate. might delete this later bc i don’t like it. oh well. enjoy :o

lately, whenever being around your best friend, you’ve been... distracted.

for some reason, you’ve always liked it when men have long fingers. obviously the best known reason for that is a lewd one, but for you, it’s more than that. long fingers are hypnotizing to you.

of course it was minghao’s face that drew you in first. plump lips, eyes that could both kill and make you melt under their gaze, a strong jaw, dark hair often slicked back with a pair of sunglasses sitting on top.

then you noticed his figure. minghao is tall — long legs, long arms, long torso. what drew you in about him was the control he has over it, alongside his flexibility. his movement is always swift, sharp and coordinated. not one to stumble over his own feet.

he became a close friend to you in no-time. within the first months of meeting him, you developed an admiration towards him, and that continued to grow into a crush you feel nothing if not insecure about.

because despite knowing him well, he’s far from an open book.

he’s not once given you the idea that he likes you the same way you like him, and now that he’s become such a good friend of yours, the last thing you’d want is to lose the friendship you’ve built with him.

so you keep it to yourself.

or, well, you try.

his current outfit makes that ridiculously hard. you’ve never seen him in a suit before.

while you weren’t all that excited for the black-tie event hosted by your faculty, just the sight of him has changed your mood like a whole day’s worth of caffeine.

and when he walks over to you, all you can do is admire him. the fabric suits his body like a glove, with several silver rings adorning his fingers and his frequently worn small hoop earrings to match them. the beautifully subtle black eye pencil brings out the colors of his eyes and styled hair.

“you look like a dream,” is the first thing to come out of his mouth when he steps before you, the tone of his voice as gentle as the smile he gives you.

heat rushes to your cheeks. “so do you. never expected to see you in a suit, but you clean up nice.”

he chuckles at your sarcasm. “thank you.”

as he tells you about — whatever it is, you honestly hardly remember a thing of the conversation — you suddenly come to the deafening conclusion that you’re nowhere near as subtle with your glances as you thought you were, which certainly bursts your bubble a bit.

“you keep doing that.” he muses, tilting his head as he looks at you with curiosity.

“what?”

“staring at my hands.”

“i’m not—i don’t stare.”

“what else would you call it? constant-looking?”

“hilarious. really.”

when you don’t say anything else, he purses his lips, hoping to get a little more out of you. you’ve got to give him credits for his determination. “so, what’s so interesting about my hands?”

with a simple shrug of your shoulders, you pretend to be casual, like he didn’t catch you staring at him. “they’re not interesting, just… nice.”

“nice?”

“can’t we just drop this? and by ‘we’ i mean you.”

he chuckles, shaking his head. “we’re friends. you can tell me, i won’t judge.”

“you? not judging anyone? that’d be almost suspicious.”

the retort makes him smile to the point it hurts his jaw. “i won’t judge you.”

a sigh rolls past your lips. “it’s no big deal, i just… like it when people have nice hands.”

“and why’s that?”

“does everything you like need to have a reason?”

"no, i guess not."

a playfulness that stirs doubt in you flashes behind his eyes, and you’re forced to put a halt to the conversation when one of your fellow faculty members walks up to the two of you with a glass of champagne, which you could not be happier with.

all you can do is hope minghao won’t bring up the topic again, the redness in your cheeks betraying you.

unfortunately, he does eventually bring it up again, once he’s gotten you home.

what his exact words were is difficult to remember, but now that he’s pushed you back onto your bed, you can’t find it in you to give a damn.

your brain feels foggy and a thin layer of sweat begins to form on your neck while he uses his hands to unbutton the white dress shirt, his impatience getting the best of him for once.

even though you’re busy pulling your top off, it’s hard to divert your gaze from his hands and chest, which brings him to tilt his head at you. “you’re staring again.”

“if you don’t want me to stare, don’t give me a reason to.”

“oh, so this whole thing is really just my fault?” he taunts, getting so annoyed with the damn buttons on his shirt not working with him that he leaves the bottom half like it already was, only the upper half of his chest peeking through.

once he lays his eyes on your half-naked form, you spot a growing desperation and impatience in his features, which is rare on him.

much to your surprise, he’s eager and quick, refusing to waste a single second. his hands have already pulled you towards him by your thighs before you can even comprehend it.

the thin silver necklace touches your warm skin when he leans down to kiss you, the last thing you’d imagined you’d be doing tonight — and it’s better than you anticipated.

he pries your legs open with a nudge of his knee, and just when you want to look down to his hand on your skin, he pushes two fingers into you, curling it upwards.

your hands immediately fly to his upper arms in response to the sudden intrusion, but it only makes you crave more.

his lips latch onto your cheeks, jaw and neck, placing wet kisses everywhere he can reach while his long fingers move in and out of you.

“just two and you’re already so tight — you can take another one, though, can’t you?”

how sweet of him to pose it as a question, an offer.

you both know damn well he’s gonna keep going either way.

minghao doesn’t know what it is about you that just utterly sets him off. it might be your constant pessimism, your snarky delivery of sarcastic little comments, the way you needlessly tease him all the time — or maybe it’s that whenever he sees you, he wants nothing more for you to get the fuck on top of him, moaning his name.

who knows.

“why don’t you just try me?” you ask rhetorically, accidentally clenching around his digits when he moves them again.

minghao chuckles, baffled that you’ve still got such an attitude, even when you’re at his mercy. he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it, though. “right. maybe i should just do that.”

a third finger prodding into your hole makes you whine the loudest you have so far. he smirks a little when noticing the way you’re fighting so hard to maintain your composure, and the noise of your squelching wetness begins to become embarrassingly loud.

but it isn’t enough for him.

usually, it’s not at all like him to be insatiable or greedy. but all he can think of right now is that he wants more — to be closer with you, deeper.

he feels his own lust in every motion, every thrust of his fingers, every twitch of his cock. it makes him wonder if he’s ever wanted something, no, someone this badly.

his next move goes unnoticed by you since you’ve got your eyes closed and head back, but then you feel it, and it’s like you snap awake, an electric jolt making you jerk forward.

when you look down, he eagerly runs his tongue up and down your pussy, fingers remaining buried inside you.

“oh my god—” you stutter out, hand clutching onto the pillow but quickly moving down to grab his hair.

lost in your own pleasure, you push his head down, the lower half of his face coated in your arousal — fuck, he wants to do this for hours.

he proceeds to curl his fingers again, and he must’ve hit a good spot, because your legs are beginning to tremble, moans shorter and higher-pitched. “fuck, hao, it’s too much, i’m too close—”

“are you?” he rhetorically asks, pushing his digits as deep as possible, sucking on your clit, hollowing his cheeks. even when you try to close your legs, he firmly keeps them open.

your hips buck into his face when you cum, knees shaking, and he presses his thumb on your pussy, which makes your eyes roll back.

propping yourself up on your elbows, you suddenly feel his fingers slowly sliding out of you, and just that feeling alone already turns you on again. he sits across from you, still between your legs, and his fingers are completely coated in the sticky wetness that’s still dripping down your cunt.

he pushes them in his mouth, licking them clean, some of your arousal remaining on his lips.

“please say you’ll let me do that again.”

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[jo-harrington]

Become What You Were Meant To Be (Eddie Munson)

Word Count: 2.4k

Themes/Warnings: Modern!Eddie, Older!Eddie, set in the mid-2010s, fandom lingo, nerd lingo, Star Wars, typical childhood bullying, angst, minor FOI reference, some canon divergence, coming of age themes, probably poorly written and not edited at all

Note: Happy Birthday to one of the backbones of this fandom, who supports and encourages so many of us, whose endless friendship I am so grateful for. Someone who has absolute endless creativity but doesn't give herself enough credit and grace, who is secretly sitting in the background pulling the strings on some of the best stories I've read and I've written. My muse, my life, my world, my cheeseburger. @fracturedarkness

Thanks to @dr-aculaaa for the beta.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

Eddie Munson was a nerd.

Point blank, end of story.

It was one of those badges he wore along with Freak and loser and...well, you get the gist of it. But it was a badge worn with pride. He owned his identity. Wasn't afraid to show everyone he came across who he was.

It hadn't always been that way.

There used to be a time when it felt like the worst thing in the world to be a nerd like that. The kids bullied him because he got overly excited talking about his favorite characters and favorite books that they found boring. They all teased him when he wrote stories about exciting heroes from fantastical worlds in English class, even though the teacher told him that his stories were ambitious and imaginative. And when he spent lunch doodling in his notebook instead of playing kickball or foursquare? Well, you get the point.

"You're so weird." They mocked him. "You're a freak. Draw normal things. Like normal things. Why can't you just be normal?"

It was cruel, in the way that children naively become perpetrators of cruelness. And it made Eddie sad.

Because what did that mean? He couldn't draw normal things, or like normal things, or do normal things. Then he wouldn't be himself anymore.

And that was the point where he decided normal was overrated. Why would he want to be normal when he could be...anything else.

He could pretend he was one of the Pevensies upon a throne at Cair Paravel. Or one of the Ghostbusters. Or a Jedi...

Of course, he couldn't actually be anything else; he was stuck being boring, old, nerdy Eddie Munson.

It wasn't until middle school--you know, middle school, when everyone decides to embrace who they are and become an individual--that he decided being Eddie Munson wasn't all that bad after all.

This epiphany definitely didn't happen after a Hot Topic opened up at StarCourt Mall. No sir. Not when one of the older kids that worked there, sporting armfuls of tattoos and a lip ring, told him the pen drawings on the toe caps of his sneakers were cool. Of course not. And not after he used the last bit of his birthday money to buy a cool band t-shirt and colored hair gel. Pssshhh...

So on the first day of 8th grade, he showed up rocking his dad's old leather jacket--the one that practically swallowed him--jeans that he ripped himself and a poor excuse for a mohawk, ready to accept the Freak label proudly.

He also accepted detention for breaking the dress code.

And a grounding from Wayne for cutting up a nice pair of jeans.

And a buzzcut because he'd done that poor of a job of cutting his hair for that mohawk.

But he'd gained a friend.

Several friends actually.

Ronnie Ecker and Doug Teague. They were both in the same grade as him, and shared many classes. And it might have been a little embarrassing, but a sixth grader named Jeff who told Eddie that he was his hero. That made Eddie feel like he was on top of the world!

They were friends that stayed with him all through high school, and when he repeated his senior year twice, even more joined the mix along the way.

Band kids and science fair nerds and...and...and...

He called them his sheepies, and he their shepherd clad in black band tees and ripped jeans.

And Eddie?

Eddie just got nerdier.

Got weirder.

Dug himself deeper into the pit of stark individualism that the close-minded town of Hawkins didn't know how to react to.

It was glorious.

He listened to music that made other kids cringe and turn away and neighbors complain about the noise; he liked it so much that he made his friends start a band with him. They played at every single school talent show until they graduated; they never won and sometimes people tried to plug their ears, but to Eddie and his friend, their sound and that stage was exactly what their hearts yearned for. To them, the auditorium might as well have been Madison Square Garden.

He started playing Dungeons and Dragons--started a club of his own design, Hellfire--when he found the guidebooks on a dusty shelf at the library. They were seemingly untouched since their initial publication in the 70s, but they were like a key that unlocked something inside of Eddie. Something that he seemed to have forgotten along the way of reclaiming the name "Freak."

Through DnD, the imaginary worlds that he left behind early in his adolescence opened their doors to him once again.

And his friends, his players, never made fun of him for knowing the ins and outs of the worlds of their fantasies. Worlds like Greyhawk and Faerûn.

Worlds like a certain galaxy far...far away...

---

Eddie's re-entrance into the world of Star Wars had been...an interesting one to say the least.

To Eddie, Star Wars meant the original trilogy. Cut, print, sign the check.

When he thought of Jedi, he thought of Luke Skywalker and Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan and a puppet Yoda. And of course he thought of the dreaded Darth Vader.

Yeah he had his books from the library, a whole extended universe with Mara Jade and Jacen and Jaina. But he'd missed out on the prequels growing up; from being a little too young to see them in theaters, to the whole fiasco of his mother's passing right before Revenge of the Sith had premiered.

As he got older, the need to see them just wasn't there, and hearing from friends and enemies alike that it wasn't anything to write home about was the nail in the coffin.

Until he met one Dustin Henderson.

It was the Jar Jar Binks t-shirt he wore on the first day of his freshman year that got Eddie's attention.

"What is that?" he flicked a finger against the graphic as he ran into Dustin and his friends in the lunch line. "Something from that new Star Trek movie?"

Cue a whole rant about the Gungans and the Separatists and an inter-galactic conflict that made Eddie happily fold Dustin and his band of nerds into the protection of the Hellfire Club.

Eddie still refused to watch the prequels, no matter how much Dustin begged.

"I like it when you guys talk about them," Eddie shrugged off the pleas. "Even better when you guys act out the whole fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan. I'd sell my left nut to relive seeing you and Lucas do that in Wheelers basement; it was the best day of my life Henderson, I swear to god. There's no way the movies could actually beat that."

He hasn’t expected that those little idiots would trick him into a movie marathon for Lucas's birthday.

Even Gareth was in on the whole plan. Traitor.

But it was the beginning of the end.

From the movies to the books to the cartoons, Eddie's love of Star Wars was rekindled. He even spent a short stint as a gamer playing The Old Republic on the old PC that was tucked into the corner of the trailer.

And when a new movie was announced, Eddie happily took his nerd-dom to the next level.

Yes, he was the one to suggest they all dress up for the midnight showing of The Force Awakens, but if anyone asked it was Mike.

He spent hours on a stupid Boba Fett costume. It was a different set of skills to the mini-figures he was used to crafting for DnD. He had to think on a different scale. Hot glue and spray paint and too much cardboard. Only to find real cosplayers used foam, not cardboard. His paychecks from Thatcher Tires went straight to the project, until he had something halfway decent for the premiere.

"What?" he laughed along with his friends when they joked about the hot glue spiderwebs that he'd been too lazy to clean up. "It's not like I'll have to do this again; we're not dressing up next time."

Or so he thought...

There was something so magical about sitting in a movie theater, in the middle of December, at midnight, surrounded by other people who decided to dress up for the occasion, and a few dozen plastic lightsabers all lit up.

To listen to the theme, to read the crawl on a big screen, to see the camera pan down into the vastness of stars...

This was what it was to be a nerd.

There was something extra special about finding a new favorite character. Something that touched something deep down inside of you when you saw something of yourself in them.

And Eddie had always been drawn to the villains. Whether in the media he consumed or the characters he created for DnD. He knew why; he wasn't totally oblivious. To be the hero of his own story, he often had to become a villain to someone else.

Besides, villains always had a little bit more fun.

So when Kylo Ren first made his way on screen, Eddie knew that he was done for.

The mask, the lightsaber, the Dark Side of the Force, the anger...how many times had he almost given in to the anger he felt at being mocked and teased. He'd overcome that time and again; what if he'd just given in?

There was also something about being Al Munson Han Solo's son.

Yeah. He could understand the anger there.

But then he was also Elizabeth Leia's son...the conflict.

It took Eddie a few days to get over the initial flurry of thoughts after seeing Force Awakens for the first time. That was when he realized he needed to see it again. And again. A matinee showing on Christmas Eve with Wayne, who he also treated to lunch. The last showing on a Thursday in January. Another outing with the guys, refusing to admit that he'd already seen it a few times between opening night and then.

Thankfully, this time, Mike was the mastermind behind their plans for the next movie as they waited for the previews to finish.

"So," Mike sat up straight. "I think I wanna get an early dibs on dressing up like Poe when Episode 8 comes out."

"I think I wanna try my hand at making an Admiral Ackbar costume," Dustin said with utter confidence, and then turned to Eddie. "What about you?"

It caught Eddie off-guard for a second; should he just say Kylo? Did they expect him to want to dress up as anyone else? Maybe they thought that he would want to be Poe, leader of their misfit group as he was.

"Eddie's obviously Kylo," Jeff piped up. Eddie's head immediately turned to him. "What? Don't think we didn't watch you drool over that lightsaber last time."

"And his ship?" Gareth cackled one seat over. "Fuck the Falcon. I swear, if you could turn the van into something that looked like that ship..."

"Oh my god, you're right!" Lucas cackled.

"Hey I think I could figure out a pretty convincing Snoke," Eddie argued, trying to deflect their teasing, but secretly pleased that he'd gotten exactly what he wanted.

And that his friends knew him so well.

---

For two years, Eddie worked on his costume.

Two. Years.

He was practically a different person by the time of the Last Jedi's opening night.

And yeah his motivation faltered, but he never quit.

It was strange, the need to perfect the costume. He’d almost given up many times. When there was a certain skill he wasn't good at or when he'd felt like it would never be finished. Every time, he felt like that silly kid who everyone just told to be normal. To like normal things.

He was growing up. He was a grown up! Shouldn’t he be passed all of this…silliness? Everyone else in the world seemed to think so, as they put away all the frivolities of childhood. Were they working round the clock and pricking their fingers on needles and burning themselves with hot glue?

Probably not.

Eddie found himself still stuck there, watching a world lose its joy and think that it was normal, and he always wondered if he should try to be normal too. For once in his life. The first time in his life.

But every time he thought about letting it all go, about putting his dream aside...something would come and drive him to keep going.

New promotional images, a new trailer. Especially the ones focused on Kylo himself.

"Let the past die," Kylo Ren grumbled in the voice over. "Kill it if you have to."

That became Eddie's driving force.

He owed it to himself to finish. He owed it to his younger self...not to let his dream die...to keep being weird and nerdy and happy.

"Let the past die," Eddie told himself as he stitched the hem of the tunic the week before opening night.

"Kill it if you have to," he said as he distressed the plastic helmet that he'd ordered, giving it the right amount of realism so it didn't just look like something so fake and commercial.

"Let the past die," his child self muttered, front teeth missing from the day Johnny B pushed him over on the playground because he was playing superheroes wrong. Eddie put a hand on his head and then stepped into his boots.

"Kill it if you have to," his preteen self urged him, self-assured, mohawk looking stupider than he realized way back when. Eddie flicked his ear good-naturedly before adjusting the cape on his shoulders.

There he stood--Eddie Munson, the young man, the freak, the nerd--in his bedroom before the mirror. He was adorned in pieces of foam and layers of fabric from the craft store, helmet tucked under his arm.

But in the mirror itself? There was Kylo Ren...there he was as Kylo Ren. In the hallway of a Star Destroyer, layered in armor and the shadows of the Dark Side itself, like he was ready for a battle with the Resistance.

Ready for the battle within himself.

But there was no battle, and the armor was actually Eddie's skin. This was his real self, his true self. All of his work came to fruition, all of the time and effort that he put into the craft. Not just two years working on a costume, but an entire lifetime poured into becoming an Eddie Munson who proudly wore the title nerd and freak and loser.

The destroyer melted away, and he was back in his bedroom once again. Surrounded by posters and books and drawings, by all of his crafts and his guitars and his endless clutter.

He smiled at himself, feeling lighter than he had in a long time.

Eddie Munson was a nerd, and as he lit the lightsaber and he was washed in a glow of crackling red light, he knew that this was who he was always meant to be.

[atamascolily]

Given how tightly plotted previously installments have been, I have to admit I was caught off guard by the seeming introduction of new characters in the Walpurgis no Kaiten trailer. However, on reflection (heh), it makes sense if one of the themes of the movie is indeed opposites/doubling/mirroring. After all, if Homura has a double for a narrative foil, why shouldn't the rest of the main cast have one, too? Prior to the second trailer, I had assumed this role would be filled by the "new girl" in the first trailer, who appears to be a Homura/Mami/Madoka hybrid, but it seems that's just the tip of the iceberg.

That said, it's also clear to me from the second trailer that this mirroring, if that's what's really going on here, isn't going to always literal as it is with Homura. The girl paired with Nagisa in the ball pit in the second trailer doesn't look exactly the same as Nagisa, but it's clear from the framing that the two of them are being deliberately juxtaposed, and will likely serve as narrative foils to each other. My guess is that this girl is the humanized form of Nagisa's witch Charlotte, just like I think that the most likely candidate for Homura's double is her witch Homulilly, (because the metaphorical almost always becomes literal in this series, even though the movie may or may not name them directly as such), but my point stands regardless of their exact relationship to each other.

If that's the case, then who in the Holy Quintet is the counterpart for the other new character--the green-haired girl in the trailer?

The obvious answer is "Mami"--partly because of the tea party and general vibes, and partly because of the color scheme (green and yellow go well together and the girl has golden eyes like Mami's). This is especially true if fan theories are right and this girl is the humanized form of Gertrud the Rose Witch, whom Mami faces off against in episode 1-2 of the original series, and who serves as a deliberate counterpoint to Mami there.

Having a more human Gertrud as foil to Mami would make sense because unlike Homura and Nagisa, Mami never becomes a witch in the original series; while she does have a witch form in the PSP game and other spinoff media, I think we are unlikely to see it in this installment and thus her most likely counterpoint would then be Gertrud. Gertrud's familiars are also visible in Homura's new world at the end of Rebellion, suggesting she might turn up in some fashion in Walpurgis no Kaiten.

(This also raises the interesting question of whether Mami's VA would voice this character or not. Considering that Kaori Mizuhashi also voiced Walpurgisnacht and Tatsuya in the original series, it's not impossible than she and/or other voice actors might play one or more roles in this new installment. As a bonus, this would also mean that SHAFT could get away with not announcing the minor roles before the release, as they would probably have to if they were adding completely new voice actors to the cast. Until we get more news, I'm assuming that Chiwa Saito is voicing both Homuras, though everything else is more speculative.)

However, it occurred to me that based on her ponytail and her position in this shot, she could also be Kyouko's foil (red and green being opposing colors); this is less likely, but I figured I'd mention it as a possibility anyway, since the second trailer appears to be leaning heavily into Rebellion parallels. TBD. Like Mami, Kyouko doesn't have a witch form in the original series, so her most likely parallel is another established witch character, although nobody from the original series immediately leaps to mind.

(By the way, this would mean there are more new characters--or new versions of established characters--we haven't seen yet, so, uh, hold that thought.)

After that, it gets a little more complex and murky. Sayaka's most likely foil should be her witch Oktavia, but it's unclear to me from what we've seen so far how much that particular conflict manifests internally or externally. I think Sayaka is going to be extremely conflicted in Walpurgis no Kaiten, and it will be interesting to see how her arc develops. Based on the original series, however, I would say that the other logical witch counterpart for her is Elsa Maria the Shadow Witch, whose labyrinth mirrors Sayaka's black and white thinking during a particularly dark period for her, though I suppose H.N. Elly the Box Witch who attacks Madoka in Episode 4 is also a possibility.

Madoka also has a witch form, Kriemhild Gretchen, who is absorbed into the Law of Cycles, though I think her foil is most likely the Law of Cycles itself. We'll have to see.

You may have noticed that I am limiting myself solely to witches from the original series rather than spinoff media. The first reason is that I'm skeptical that SHAFT would bring in a witch that general audiences who have only followed the main series have never seen before (except for maybe a brief cameo). The second reason is that the Law of Cycles' motif in Rebellion explicitly shows only those witches from the original series, and we see only a select group of these witches and/or their familiars during the battle against Homulilly's familiars.

All these witches are potentially fair game to appear in WnK, making nine in all, though I doubt more than a handful would have more than a few lines, let alone a major role. Also this diagram does not appear to incorporate Walpurgisnacht unless she turns out to be the Law of Cycles after all.

Somehow, I can't imagine SHAFT pivoting in mid-stream to bring up something completely new or even a more obscure witch from another spinoff, especially when so much of the main series focused on reliving and re-experiencing the same events over and over again. Sorry, fans of the Madoka PSP and slot machine games, I think you're destined to be disappointed in your wish to see any of those game-only witches on the big screen, but I suppose we'll see.

This is all just speculation for now, but I'm excited and intrigued to see where this goes!

[libbytwq]

SMGL:E Log #24

Do you ever look at something so mundane and boring, but looking at it jumpstarts a memory you didn’t even know you had?

I knew I had gaps in my memories when I first showed up in the Mushroom Kingdom, but I didn’t know it was this bad...

Little unusual things have been making me remember something, but in chunks. The most I remember are the feelings I have on that subject. Not the subject specifically, though. Feelings and other things that are corresponding to it.

Thing is, my feelings keep appearing when I think of specific letters. How stupid is that? Why do I feel strange emotions toward letters of the alphabet???

...Here, explaining each one might help me get my thoughts in order.

The letter “L”. I think of me, obviously. SMGL:E. ...SMGL. ...There’s a word there somewhere, I know it. The L stands for something... whatever it is, I have no clue.

The letter “K”. This one feels immensely important, for some reason. I think of the color pink. The shape of a four pointed diamond. The number two. I think of dolphins, too? And I think very... positively about the letter K. Like... an unbreakable bond. Really strange... maybe its a sign that Karen and I are meant to be? Hehehe... I dunno. Probably not. When I look at Karen I think of a different vibe. The letter K is a more... platonic love. Familial, maybe? The feeling one might get from loving a sibling. Very positive. Why? No clue.

The letter “J”. I feel a strong connection to this one, too. I think of teal, the number one, and spades – y'know, the shape. The one you might find in a deck of cards. I also think of rats. Why rats? So random... I’ll be honest, whenever I look at SMG3, I think of these things, too. These “J” feelings are awfully similar. As in, the chaos and ridiculousness. However, I think much more positively towards “J” than I do SMG3. Strange.

The letter “M”. Another strong connection. Clubs, like another symbol in cards... blue... lions... four... I get reminded of SMG4 sometimes, too. Not even just the color, and the number... the attitude. The responsibility, and the silliness. However, “M” I like more. I feel like this “M” would keep me safe.

...I keep wanting to put "J" and "M" together. They mix together quite nicely. Like they were made for each other. I'm not sure why, but it makes so much sense.

“N”. This has such a strong connection too, in more ways than one... almost like I’m made from it, and made for it. Reds and oranges... wolves... five... a strange beauty. An emotional connection like one I might feel for Karen, but a spiritual connection like the one I feel when I think about Princess Peach. But even with how much I feel bitter about Peach, my feelings toward this “N”... it’s nice. Pleasant. Affectionate...

“I”. Black, and gray, and white... three... I feel like it melds with me perfectly, yet terrible to allow to meld with me... ...No. I don’t like thinking too hard about “I”. Every time I do, I feel weird. Some type of anger. Bitterness. But at the same time... some type of love. But I don’t want to think about it too hard. I don’t want to keep thinking about it.

...I think I’m done writing for today.

[sleepymaven]

The Bsd "Fyodor is Atsushi's Father" Theory:

My Not-so-Deep, Not-so-Serious Explanation on Why This Could Totally be Canon

Signed: A Sleep-Deprived Idiot

(Spoilers for the Entirety of Bungou Stray Dogs)

So... with Chapter 118 in bsd releasing, I have noticed a lot of Fyodor as Atsushi's father related things popping up and... I'm not mad about.

If anything, I'm happy the theory is getting more attention. People even seem to be taking it as canon fact, even if just jokingly.

Really, I believed the theory was plausible since it first was brought up in the fandom, but I never actually thought it would be canon because that just seemed too crazy. But those were the thoughts of a sweet summer child since the manga has gotten to the point where that might be the least crazy thing possible.

So, here I am at my keyboard yet again, ready to ramble about how, if this does somehow turn out to be canon, this might be actually rather predictable even to those who don't dive deep into the nitty-gritty lore.

Now, I won't ramble on and on endlessly about the book and Atsushi's ambiguous past and how he may be the book or a page from the book and yaddy-yadda. Instead, I'll focus on some key aspects of Atsushi's character design. First off...

His hair.

As I said, this is not all that serious or deep, so take my words with a grain of salt before you start bashing me or something for being ridiculous. You signed up for ridiculous when you started reading past the title.

Anyway, back to Atsushi's hair.

As we almost all know, Atsushi used to have a black streak in his hair that was later removed for unknown reasons, but he also has white hair.

Now, I could jokingly proclaim, "Hehe, biologically impossible Fyodor x Nikolai lovechild," and be done with it, but I am no clown, unlike Nikolai. No, I have a better, probably completely wrong, idea.

Most of us know that Fyodor has a thing for white-haired men.

Exhibit A: Every fucking member of the Decay of Angels

I rest my case.

Also, I feel the need to mention that 3 out of 6 of them have red-ish eyes while the other two have purple-ish/blue eyes. Just pointing out that little tidbit I noticed while finding pics for them.

So, it would make sense for Fyodor to pick and choose which attributes to give to his quote-on-quote "son" when he made him from the book, picking out certain traits he found appealing and pleasing to the eye.

(Also, yes, this could mean that Fyodor could have chose specific attributes that were similar to Nikolai. Boom, lovechild route.)

This could explain certain similarities between the characters who seemingly have no biological connection between one another. Their only connection then only being through Fyodor by just knowing him.

Got all that? Alright, next up...

His eyes.

Now, Atsushi's eyes are rather unique, even for the world of Bungou Stray Dogs. What also sticks out about them is the fact that they are pointed out and focused in from time to time.

Example:

(Fucking gorgeous eyes he has, btw)

To break down the colors of his eyes... While in normal lighting in the anime, they appear to be normally purple and yellow with just a hint of green in it, but under the full moon (as seen here) we can see that his eyes are a light green-yellow at the bottom and purple on the top that fades into blue.

(There are also a few times where his eyes also change while using his ability. Like when they turn almost fully yellow.)

I want to point out the colors of his eyes and the fact that they change due to certain circumstances (i.e: using his ability, being under the full moon), which is clearly not normal in their world seeing as how other ability users don't seem to do that at all.

(Edit here: I actually would like to mention that, in the manga, Nikolai's eyes also change color. The green one sometimes will change to match his normal eye whenever he uncovers it. I saw a theory talking about how it might change depending on whether or not he is lying at the time, which is pretty neat. More Atsushi and Nikolai parallels.)

Now, this might seem like a bit of a stretch just like the rest of this post, but the colors used for his eyes are similar to the eye colors of people Fyodor knows, though they are different shades.

Purple like Fukuchi. Green and blue from Nikolai.

Fyodor's eyes are also a shade of purple, kind of, so... Yeah, that works too, but Fukuchi's shade of eyes are closer to Atsushi's.

Yeah, that's all I can think of now and this is already way too long (if I start talking about Atsushi's mysterious past, I'm going to make this a mile long. Maybe later tho), so I'm ending it here for now.

Alright, bye ya'll.

[lunarbun-ships]

brainrot on whiteboardfox time

[meamiiikiii]

isat color palette challenge WOO!! these are always fun :D

[lulu-draws-stuff]

Ok here's Bunny

She is um. she's a fluffybird fanchild

She's very silly and exists in a sort of post canon au where everybody's ok and no longer affected by the narrative

Her name is actually Gwendolyn, but Yellow said she looked like a dust bunny when he saw her and the nickname stuck. Everyone calls her either Dusty or Bunny (her actual name is reserved for when she's in trouble now)

Some older drawings + a colored version:

[crochettier]

is that.... gasp

a pattern?!

anyway have at

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent game related things .. hrmm...

[rotteneldritchhorror]

I've created too many overly detailed headcanons about Barry's life outside of Rafe

Like full family history-- he has a huge family but it's mostly dudes, his dad and brothers and uncles are all cunts and super bigoted, when he came out as bi they called him a sissy and shipped him to the military to "man the fuck up", the enviroment was so fucking toxically masculine- his mom was just trying her best, teaching him and his older sister (who he loves) to take care of themselves, teaching them spanish so she could speak to them in private, etc. Literally the only people in his family he still actively chooses to speak to out of care rather than obligation is his mom, his older sister, and a pair of aunts.

He doesnt have many close friends, but his best friend is a queer sex worker who he met on the job, likes to take care of her, gives her a place to stay when she needs it, gives her money when she asks for it, gives her her drugs for free when she needs to wind down. They talk shit, she's the only person he gets to sufficiantly ramble to about Rafe, she gives him advice- its very sweet. (Rafe is so violently jealous of this woman, he needs to be kept at a 15 foot distance and Barry has to explain 20 times over that theyve never slept together and that they're just friends and that shes ABSOLUTELY not a threat cause hes not even close to her type lol. Also the three of them trip together once and Rafe takes his first hallucinagen with this random lady and his boyfriend lol, but after it he finally accepts that shes not a threat)

He has like... a deep need to take care of people? Which mostly funnels into taking care of Rafe, but he'll take any oppurtunity to take care of people he thinks deserves it (mostly... women- this man has such a soft spot for women, especially older women, he'll do anything to help em out, take care of em, whatever they need- can you tell he was a mamas boy?)

When he was younger (like early 20s) he dated a woman in her 40s and tbh- mightve been one of his best relationships before Rafe. A little boring for him, but he keeps in contact with her to check in at times (don't tell Rafe.)

He keeps in contact with a couple of the guys he was stationed with in the military, but he's only really close with one, unsurprisingly a gay guy who *ahem* was a regular for him when they were stationed together, and he gives him free weed and shrooms for the shit being in the army left him with.

This man's tiny friend group is just radicalised queers and his sister lol

[shepards-folly]

not tagging this properly cuz its just concept sketches but I have a bad habit of deleting my art and I like these first concept doodles so well up they go

[starheirxero]

Lunar would LOVE Kurfus btw. In my heart.

[dutybcrne]

Okay, decision made:

He almost primarily uses his Abyssal abilities, and near exclusively in the way a Cryo Abyss Mage/Cryo Herald would, and had relied upon them alone, up until he was given an Anemo Delusion once he'd become of age.

[m-aximumjoy]

in celebration of my/our love Angel being introduced this past week I’ve been working on a re-paint of the Handkerchief Moment and not to toot my own horn, but I’m really proud of how the background came out and particularly of these two

Ignore the big ol’ hole it’s for Aki (heh)

[aahsoka]

i am getting paid very little to sub but i very much do care about whats going on with these kids and i wanna leave them all with something good