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thesunshineriptide · 2 years ago

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Twst Headcanons - They get sent to your dimension (part 2 - Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia)

Characters: Kalim, Jamil, Vil, Rook, Idia, Malleus, Lilia

Tw// depression, anxiety, mild body horror, existential crisis, mania, swearing, separation anxiety, grief

(Part 1 - beginnings)

Kalim

* Kalim is okay, for a minute or so

* He’s another who passed out on the way to our world, everything too bright and loud and thick

* When he entered our world, he was caught with outstretched arms

* Jade stood there, holding Kalim for a moment before putting him down, and immediately bracing to catch Jamil

* Kalim is okay

* That’s what he’s telling himself

* This is an adventure! A game!

* Everything’s gonna be okay. It’s just gonna be this for a little bit, then back home again

* He’ll be back and throwing a party and seeing his family in no-time

* He say this, a bright grin on his face

* It doesn’t reach his eyes

* He insists everything is okay. He takes care of the others - everyone else’s need are important, right? Everyone needs some support right now

* He’s the housewarden of Scarabia. The dorm based on mindfulness.

* It’s his time to shine and help his friends

* He lasts about a week, which is pretty good all things considered

* Everyone saw his breakdown coming, though. Once they’d recovered and Kalim was acting..odd

* He was acting almost as Jamil would, but softer

* “Have you eaten today? Did you sleep at all?”

* He breaks down, and he sobs in the arms of his friends

* But once he’s done, he’s okay. He’s not alone. He has those he cares about nearby

* As upset as some people are about their magic being gone *cough*Riddle*cough* Kalim isn’t too bothered

* Sure he’s a promising mage but it’s not like he relied on it too much

* I mean his signature spell is rain

* Eventually he settles in and is the most gracious guest

Jamil

* Jamil lets out a scream

* This…isn’t uncommmon, to be honest

* I mean, he yells a lot.

* He’s around Kalim all the time, isn’t he?

* But he’s also processing pretty fast that they’re falling into a different world

* Somehow the sight of the universe collapsing and opening around him, through him, on him, doesn’t make his brain melt

* Probably because he’s focusing on trying to grab Kalim

* He failed, but luckily Jade was waiting on the other side

* He fell directly into the former eels arms, being caught and soothly swung to his feet with a smile

* Jamil took a moment to process thst Jade looked…different, but he couldn’t figure out why

* No, he had to find Kalim

* Which he did!

* He nursed his charge While he was unconscious

* Jamil has the quickest breakdown of everyone, because as soon as he’s confirmed Kalim is okay, he immediately started freaking out

* His magic wouldn’t work, everyone looked kinda weird, and he was stranded in a world with no magic with a bunch of people he kind of hates

* He panics for a solid 37 hours before he gets too tired and resigns himself to this new reality

* He picks up that Kalim isn’t okay, but just starts quietly prepping for when he loses it (successfully)

Vil

* No, no no no, this can’t be happening

* His eyes are squeezed shut and he’s choking back a scream as he gets sucked down the rabbit hole, so to speak

* When he’s opened them again, Trey Clover is holding him, and moving him away from a mirror

* His mind is racing, for a moment

* After the moment passes, he plasters on a confident smile and chokes everything down to start helping

* He mostly does this by tending to the unresponsive (Kalim, Riddle, Azul, Floyd, Malleus)

* He spends quite some time trying to coax a response from Azul, but after a while decides letting him be alone to collect himself might be a better tactic

* Instead, he immediately looks around your home, observing everything he can and straightening things away

* Little Spudling, your taste in decor is…interesting…

* Eventually when he seems satisfied with his nosiness, he turns his attention back to the group

* He ends up giving a few haircuts (Malleus lookin goofy as fuck here)

* Eventually when night falls, he goes for a walk about. He doesn’t come home until sunrise, but it’s clear by the redness around his eyes he was finally dealing with some feelings

* In the morning he sits down for a cup of tea with Riddle, Jade, and Kalim, and they all enjoy the silence

Rook

* Our favorite French huntsman had no issues with what was going on

* It seems like he should be freaking out, but instead he got to the beauty of two universes kissing and collapsing on each other

* He also got to witness the transformations of everyone who fell before him, and boy was that a sight to behold

* He’s the only one who managed to land on his feet, unharmed, with a giant grin on his face

* Who needs magic when you have a whole new world to explore?

* No, Rook isn’t upset or angry or in denial

* He’s fucking ecstatic

* He does take care to help the person behind them when he falls (Idia)

* What he is disappointed in, though, is the observation that the king of beasts, the Roi de Leons, is no longer in fact, a Leon

* But he supposes it’s a small price to pay for this beautiful new world

* Don’t show him any of the bad parts or he will crack

* He spends a lot of time keeping tabs on everyone

* Jotting down anything of note

* He also rifles through your clothes so watch out for that

* No sense of boundaries, he’s an awful guest in that regard.

* What makes him good, though, is that he can still find literally anything you need

* You misplaced your keys? He knows exactly where they are

* Misplaced your formerly eel friends? He saw them leave for the store, so they’re probably running from the cops as we speak

* Don’t know where the remote is? He does that mom thing where he walks into the room and it basically just fucking materializes

* Also, he’s willing to do the laundry for everyone

* He doesn’t ever breakdown, actually, but he does get worried for the others who do, and that makes him sad

Idia

* Idia isn’t looking at his surroundings, because he’s not even facing the right direction

* He’s looking back to twisted wonderland, looking for ortho, only to find nothing

* As his sight of ortho slips away, something else fills it

* His flaming hair is smoothing into deep blue as the flames trickle away

* The ache in his bones seems to dissipate, and he begins to feel alive since the first time since childhood

* He closes his eyes then, and feels the smoothness of his teeth, the warmth in his breath, the beating of his heart

* And then he’s suddenly in the arms of that creepy stalker guy and he’s snapped back to reality

* Much like rook, he isn’t too terribly sad

* He breaks down second quickest, but recovers faster than Jamil

* It’s been so long since he’s done something without Ortho, it rips something open

* But after some breathing exercises, his head clears and he’s back to marveling at how he feels

* His hair hangs in his face, sky blue and navy and black and so, so soft.

* His yellow eyes have faded to amber, and his once shark-like teeth scare nobody when he smiles

* It’ll take some candy and movies before he’s ready to really be around people

* And maybe a bit of gentle parenting before he’ll open up about his grief

* But he’s going to be okay

Malleus

* He’s unconscious pretty fast

* Having hundreds of years of magic ripped from you is pretty exhausting, even when you’re one of the top 5 magicians in the world

* When he wakes up, there’s a throbbing in his head and dullness to his senses

* His joints feel stiff, and he feels lighter, and he’s staring directly up at a very concerned Vil Schoenheit

* “Housewarden Schoenheit, what is going o-“

* He sits up, sees his reflection, and goes completely pale

* His catlike green eyes are softer, his ears rounded, and his horns are gone

* He runs a hand through his hair unobstructed and laughs, somewhere between panicked and joyously

* “Now, that isn’t something I’ve seen before.”

* He doesn’t panic so much as have a manic air about him

* He’s not happy, no, but he’s isn’t upset either. And he’s certainly not angry…

* When he sees you, he runs over and tackles you in a hug

* It seems like there’s a breath held in the room until you hug him back, quietly asking if he’s alright

* “Well, it’s only fair that I’ve visited your world now, isn’t it? After all, you were a guest in ours.”

* Definitely doesn’t process it quickly, and doesn’t realize just how much he misses Silver and Sebek for a good few days

* Instead of a full breakdown, it’s more of a quiet depression

* He comes out of it, eventually, when you show him the world. He’s content to go to the store with you, to garden with you, to read history books and lounge on your couch

* What lifts his spirits, though, is that the people here down cower or run from him

* Yeah, he’s a tall guy, but he’s nothing more than that to them

* He spends a lot of time trying to keep Lilia from burning down the kitchen

* Super enjoys tending to any plants you might have, and frequently takes walks on his own (alone! How exciting!) to look at the architecture

* He gets in an argument with your neighbor about gargoyles though

Lilia

* Have you ever seen the grief of a parent?

* It’s an unstoppable, terrifying force

* Yes, Silver (and by extension, Sebek) are grown most of the way, but that doesn’t take way the pain

* He’s been caring for them so long, for someone for so long

* He knew what was happening just before he fell through the mirror, and choked down that realization as he shut his eyes and fell

* Something like warmth flooded him as his teeth grew duller and eyes turned more brown

* He felt the magic leave him in his bones, and was scared for the first time in a very long time

* When he came out the other side - still young looking, nonetheless - he wasn’t sure how to feel

* Might it have been more kind of he had simply disappeared altogether than to be separated from those he cares for most?

* Third fastest breakdown.

* Its somewhere between three and five hours after they arrived that he goes outside and wails

* He has literally 0 confidence that they’ll get back

* He has malleus, though, and that’s something

* Lilia is another that just gets kinda depressed. There’s not much he can do to fix it

* He does keep attending to Malleus, as always. But it’s more so that he’s going through the motions than that he’s enjoying things

* It takes the twins, surprisingly enough, to break through this

* It makes sense, when you think about it

* Jade, the calm and collected one, the one that keeps the wheels on the bus and encourages Lilia’s creative cooking,

* And Floyd, the spontaneous and near childlike one who enjoys things as they come, but will protect when needed

* Maybe the expression is really ‘there are two eels inside of you. One is Jade and the other is Floyd. They are both insane’

* Jade manages to coax Lilia out of his grief by asking for help on simple things.

* “Can you help me make some soup?” “Would you mind helping me with these documents?” “Might I trouble you for some help folding laundry?”

* And Floyd reopens his mind to other things

* “Flapjack Octopus, have you seen this? It’s hilarious! Come sit with me~” “You look sad, how’s about a squeeze~?” “Lilia-chan! Look at this stuffed toy! It’s so soft, and it looks just like you~!”

* It’s comforting to feel needed, to feel wise. It reminds him of when his wards were younger, and he almost feels at home again

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arty-shadow-morningstar · 4 years ago

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Graveyard Siblings (4)

I am sorry for not posting in a while. School is a total bitch. Here is part 4 of a fic that is not a fic.

[Masterlist]

(Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3)

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Tall Marinette.(I admit I might be projecting a little here.)

One day, she took out something from someplace high and the whole family realized that ‘holy shit when did you get so tall?’

Bonus if Jason comes back from a long mission and had a wtf moment because she was wearing 6-inch-heels and met his eyes with them on.

“Pixie?!”

------

You know how Bruce has the identity of Matches Malone to infiltrate the Gotham Underground.

While Jason does the drug deals more street crime stuff, Maria uses an excuse of being the representative for Red Hood excuse to mingle with the rich people who does crime on the side (Penguin), she uses it to go to black market auctions and buy some of the lost miraculouses which got into the hands of black market dealers.

Jason knows about it and acts as her ‘bodyguard’ anytime he can or sends one of his henchmen to be one with a death threat if she gets a single scratch on her.

Bruce is unaware of this. Or is he?

------

Mari helps with running WE since she is a little less busy with the vigilante side of things.

It started with Tim panicking about deadlines and Mari offering to help, to Bruce and Tim bullying the board to have her as co-CEO.

She has to be that and head of Afterlife. So she is very busy. Doesn’t know about what comes next….

------

Somehow the class comes to Gotham for a trip. It has been 3 years since her death.

Mari has changed her appearance since the day she left Paris. She has highlights in her hair after a ‘sibling bonding day’ with Jason. Her hair is kept short for convenience and not in pigtails. Along with her tall height and more confident aura, she is almost unrecognizable.

She rides a motorcycle too.

The class waits in the lobby for the tour and in walks this badass woman with aviator sunglasses, leather jacket and designer clothes which was all MT brand, making a lot of people swoon.

She takes off her glasses and walks past the class. Checking stuff on her phone and sipping coffee in her other hand.

She seems familiar but they couldn’t figure out why. (All except Chloe, Alix and Felix who are snickering in the background.)

Lila sees her and comments on how she must be a criminal with the way she dresses. (Lila internally freaks out because were her eyes messing with her? Because she looked a little like Marinette. Also jealous of the new arrival for stealing all the attention.) Alya takes the bait and calls security to ‘arrest’ her.

They just laugh. The class doesn’t understand, speaking in confused French.

-------------

“I am Maria Todd-Wayne, also known as designer MT. CEO of Afterlife and co-CEO of the very company you are in. I am allowed in here. Don’t judge a book by its cover.” she said in perfect French.

“But Lila told us you can’t speak French.”

“Who?”

“Lila Rossi, your friend. She told us that you and MT were dating.”

“Me dating myself. Okay I love myself because self-love is a thing but that is a whole other level. MT are my initials. Anyone who has a brain could have figured that out or at the very least do a Google search. I am not sure where your friend got that notion.”

“Hey, Bean, come on. We have a long day ahead of us.” Tim reminded her.

“Goodbye but cease the rumours or you would be escorted off the premises.”

As they rode up the elevator, “Tim, why are they here?”

“They are the lucky winners of the Wayne Enterprise Young Prodigies Contest. Why, Maria?”

“Lucky, huh.” She muttered under her breath. She might as well tell him. They are the Bats and they will find out anyway. “They are from my old class, the one you know…”

“Oh. Want me to send them back? I can do that if they are making you uncomfortable.”

“Nah. Too much to deal with. And it is unfair to send them back over a petty grudge. Besides, I could have some fun.”

“Anything that Bruce and I should be worried about?”

“I swear no killing. Just because Jason came back from the dead, hell-bent on killing. Doesn’t mean I am too.”

“Cool, just don’t do any property damage or traumatize our employees.”

“I might need you to erase some footage later and tell Bruce about this.”

“Some brownies, my favourite coffee cake, the ‘special’ brew and you have yourself a deal.”

-----

So basically she just showed up around where the class was ‘by coincidence’.

Talk to a few people and take them out of earshot of the rest of the class.

End the conversation by saying a few things only they and her would know. Insides jokes and secrets. (I pick her old childhood friends like, Nino, Kim and maybe Sabrina)

Uses Trixx to turn into a walking dead version of her 15-year old self and disappears as they freak out about how she knew that secret/story.

Freaks them out further by appearing again in front of the whole class and pretending not to know their previous conversation.

Mari manages to get Lila alone.

I should also say that Lila thought that her curse was making her see MT as Marinette.

It terrifies Lila when she finds out that MT is actually Marinette, not dead but alive after all this time and apparently living the high life she wanted. This fact made the Italian swell up with jealousy.

“I hope you are not lying about me again, Lila Rossi. Like you always do.”

“What do you want with me? I swear I didn’t say anything else about you.”

“Aw, Lila. Don’t recognize me?”

Maria flickers and Ladybug is in her place and later, the Marinette that appeared in her bedroom and back to normal.

“You! How? Why are you here? Why can’t you leave me alone?”

“Why not? I mean you did take away nearly all my friends, my parents and made my life a living hell. If you think about it, I am just repaying you the same favor. How are the others? Treating you well?”

“What did you do to me, you bitch?”

“I just put a curse on you. The ghosts of your past will haunt you until you stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop Lying, Liar. They all feed and grow in power from your lies. I wonder what would happen in a few years if you kept this up.”

“You think you can get away with this. This is war and I have already beaten you once.”

“Oh Rossi. This isn’t a war. It’s a death sentence.” With that she disappears.

Lila tries to tell her class that MT is actually Marinette. She is met with crazy looks. Some of them look like they want to believe her but don't because they don’t want to look crazy too.

Oh. Adrien wasn’t on the trip because his mother didn’t want him to go to the crime capital of America although the crime rate has gone down a little due to Hellbat curing some of the city’s bad energy..

Right after Lila told the class about MT, Scarecrow came to steal some Wayne tech and the class got caught in the crossfire. So later, it was brushed off as Lila seeing things due to the fear toxins.

-----

Joker made the mistake of kidnapping her. Once was enough to never try that again.

(It involved the use of nearly all of the Miraculouses, old and new. He was thoroughly humiliated at the end of it and his picture by the time Hellbat was done with him was on the Batfam’s Christmas Card. Like I said she doesn’t kill but making them beg for death was okay.)

It coincided with Jason’s Birthday and the video of the incident was ‘the best birthday present ever.’ The uncensored version was watched at the next undead siblings bonding day. Damian included.

After hearing a few rumours about what happened, most criminals were glad for Hellbat’s rare appearances. (which happens once a month and during really busy time of the year)

There was a time where Penguin was carrying out one of their plans and when Hellbat showed up, all of their thugs surrendered instantly. (No Batman did not pout at the fact that this French girl was more imitating than him.)

Scarecrow used his newest batch of fear toxin on her during the first year after she died.

He was astounded to see her still standing and she later proceeded to beat the crap out of him while being under the toxin’s influences.

He has tried to stay out of her way since then.

She saw Scarecrow as Hawkmoth and said a lot of things in French which scared everyone because she said it with so much hate, anger and in a very menacing tone that everyone is like ‘I am not touching this.’

It took Red Hood and Nightwing to restrain her from further beating Scarecrow up.

He was one of the people who sympathised with the Joker after the Incident.

The next was Riddler being so arrogant in his plans and managed to get Hellbat and Spoiler into a death trap.

“You know I have a few regrets in life. And my final one is that I got captured and am now going to get killed by a walking fashion disaster.”

“Hey! I made this myself. I will have, you know.”

“You have a brilliant mind but no sense of fashion at all. When I get out of here, I am going to burn that thing with you in it, for your crimes against fashion.”

“What is wrong with it?”

Cue a lot of roasting of Riddler’s costume and Spoiler adding more fuel to the fire.

They manage to escape while Riddler is crying on the floor, having an existential crisis.

The thing was no one knows why Riddler was silent the entire week after encountering Hellbat and crying when anyone mentions it.

They now think Hellbat is the scariest one in the Batfamily, second to Batman and tied with Black Bat/Orphan.

The few who find out what really happened in the warehouse that night. Blackmail material on the Riddler.

Three ( four if you count Penguin) of Gotham’s biggest villains of the Rogues Gallery scared of Bats’ newest addition. Hellbat was not someone they wanted to mess with.

---------

Magic crisis stuff. Like a world ending event thing. Dr. Fate says they need the Miraculous jewels but the last mention of them had been in Paris a few years ago and had vanished since then.

Costantine looked at Batman. “You know who you have to call.”

Batman calls Hellbat. Who hasn’t been introduced yet to the JL.

“Ah. Bats. Not that I question your authority or anything but how can your newest ‘ward’ help us?”

She takes off her helmet and reveals her face and more importantly, her earrings.

Tikki comes out of her hiding place.

“I am the current Guardian of the Miracle Box and wielder of the Ladybug miraculous during Hawkmoth’s reign in Paris a few years ago. Any other Questions?”

“Oh great Guardian. Tikki. It is an honour to meet you.”-Wonder Woman, who else.

“You too, Princess Diana. Pass on my regards to your mother.”-Tikki

A huge face-off and the big evil is defeated.

WW asks abt HM and gives a horrified face at the end of her story. Nearly everyone who eavesdropped on the conversation was.

"Forgive me, Guardian for not aiding you in your hour of need.”

“It’s okay. I understand that there are other crises, world-ending ones that JL have to take care of. I am better now. Mostly.”

“I doubt it with those revenge schemes I found lying around. But she is getting there with her therapist.”-Batman

“I hate you, Dad.”

“Did you just call him Dad?”

“No….”

“Do you see me as a father figure?”

“I see you as a nuisance with how nosy you are with my personal business. So you are more of a bother figure.”

“I see you as part of the family too, Daughter.” (Got that reference anyone?)

“Jason was the one who adopted me.”

“Legally you are adopted by me.”

Maria with Pikachu surprised face because nobody told her that. “My life is a lie.”

-------

(Part 5)

#graveyard sibling #platonic jasonette #maribat #mlb x dc #platonic daminette #platonic timinette #some class salt #lila salt #lila bashing #joker doesn't look good here either #platonic! jasonette #siblings jasonette #platonic timminette #marinette and stephanie teaming up to rip into Riddler's costume

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viastro · 4 years ago

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pacman | yoon jeonghan

ミ★ synopsis: being best friends, you and jeonghan know all there is to the disastrous effects of developing feelings for each other. that’s why you both make a sleep-deprived promise at 5 am to never fall in love with the other. however, jeonghan begins to question everything when he tasks himself with making you and the new transfer become a couple.

ミ★ genre: best friends / to strangers / to lovers!au, angst, fluff, some humor

ミ★ warnings: none !

ミ★ word count: 7,559

ミ★ pairings: jeonghan x gender neutral reader / jun x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: hi guys ! here’s my jeonghan oneshot that was inspired by jaehyun’s upcoming kdrama ! it took me a few days to finish this, so it’s pretty long and i would like to apologize in advance AJSKBGKB i also recommend listening to stay here by gaho on repeat for like top tier reading experience HAHAHA i hope you guys enjoy this oneshot, and remember to give jeonghan lots of love <3

Your eyes are closed as your head rests on the table, waiting for the lecture to begin. Your airpods are in your ears, playing a soft instrumental that has you on the verge of drifting off to sleep.

Until Jeonghan sits beside you.

“I thought you slept early last night?” Instead of hearing the piano, you hear your best friend’s voice fill your ears as you open up one eye. The newly dyed redhead is staring at you with an amused expression on his face, causing you to squint at him.

“Yeah, 2 am this time. Personal best for the year so far.” You tell Jeonghan, sitting up from the desk and stretching your arms over your head. Jeonghan rolls his eyes, knowing that is a lot earlier than the usual 6 am bedtime routine you’ve got going on. He sits down in the seat beside you, pulling out his things from his bag.

Yoon Jeonghan, your best friend of almost eight years now. The two of you met in middle school, having been paired up in science class to dissect a frog. Jeonghan was close to tears the whole time while you were practically gagging over the smell through your mask.

Someway, somehow, the two of you ended up sticking together after that unfortunate occurrence. No words were exchanged either, you both kind of just started sitting beside each other during lunch and waiting for each other at your assigned lockers.

In high school it got annoying, as Jeonghan suddenly started to become... pretty. He grew taller, cut his hair short, and had a smirk that made anyone and anything swoon. Well, everyone except you. It got worse when you both entered university, as Jeonghan is continuing to become prettier by the minute.

You can’t count on your hand how many times someone was jealous of how close the two of you were.

However, the two of you made a vow after watching one too many kdramas with the trope of best friends to strangers due to one of them falling in love. It might be a bit drastic, and it was in the wee hours of the morning when the two of you made this oath so who knows if Jeonghan remembers. You don’t even remember most of what you both agreed upon other than the fact that the two of you can’t fall in love.

“Hannie, our friendship is too precious to end like theirs did!” You say through your tears, with Jeonghan pulling out a bunch of tissues to throw at your face. He nods his head in agreement, running a hand through his black hair as he fights back his own tears, only to pause and turn towards you.

“You think I’d like you?” Jeonghan asks with a look of disgust on his face, making you halt your movements, looking at him with a glare. “Hey!”

“I’m teasing you.” Jeonghan says with a laugh, taking one of the tissues he threw at your face and wiping the snot that’s slipped past your nose from crying. You quietly let him, too tired and sad to tell him how gross that is.

“We gotta stop binging kdramas until 5 in the morning.” Your best friend tells you, and you nod your head silently as you stare into his pretty eyes. He lets out a yawn once he’s done wiping away your tears, turning off your TV and placing the remote on the table.

“Come on, lay down, yn.” You don’t move from your position on the couch, still huddled into the corner as you think of what could happen if one of you ever developed feelings for each other.

A small smile forms on Jeonghan’s face at how deep in thought you are, reaching out and patting the top of your head. You look up at Jeonghan, and he tilts his head at you.

“What’s up? I’m trying to tuck you in and you’re staring off as if you’re going through an existential crisis.” You purse your lips at his observation, wondering if you are having an existential crisis. Jeonghan sits back down beside you, and he rests his head on his hand as he turns his body towards you.

“Let’s make a vow.” You say after a moment of silence passes between the two of you. Jeonghan raises an eyebrow, “What kind of vow?”

You turn your body towards his, fixing the blankets on your lap before finally looking into his eyes again. You find Jeonghan’s eyes to be his prettiest feature, as you can always see what he’s feeling through his gaze. It’s how you’re able to tell when he’s lying.

“A vow for us to never fall in love with each other.” You state, and you watch as mirth pools Jeonghan’s eyes while his lips curve up into an amused smile. “I don’t think we can make a vow on something that’s out of our control.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, and Jeonghan watches as your eyes brighten when another idea comes to mind. He’s a bit taken aback when you suddenly reach out and grasp his hand, holding it tightly between your warm ones.

“Then we make a promise.”

“That’s the same thing as a vow-”

“No, shut up. Let me explain.” You say, and Jeonghan chuckles. He motions with his hand for you to go on, and you let out a breath.

“If one of us catches feelings, then we end our friendship.” Jeonghan stares at you with a serious expression on his face, and you find that you’re afraid at how fast the amusement left his eyes. Jeonghan leans in closer towards you, “You’d want to end our friendship just like that?”

“Nono! I mean like, for a certain amount of time. Essentially we’d just ghost each other until our feelings go away, and the other can’t intervene.” You explain, slightly shoving Jeonghan away, but you see that he still looks a bit put off by your idea.

“I’d feel like ass if you just left without a word, though.” Jeonghan tells you, and you slowly nod your head, understanding where he’s coming from. You let out another sigh, looking up at the ceiling.

“Pacman.” You peek at Jeonghan, wondering why he mentioned your guys’ favorite game when you were children. He gives you a tired smile, “It’ll be our code word. Instead of leaving without a trace for a couple months, or confessing our feelings and then leaving, we can just say Pacman. It’s not directly saying I love you, and who knows if either of us will remember the word. It’s the perfect thing to say before disappearing for a bit.”

You slowly nod your head, finding that it seems like the best option thus far. And so, out of your 5 am fatigue, you hold out your pinky towards your best friend.

“Pinky promise that you won’t fall in love with me.” You mutter sleepily, and Jeonghan chuckles, reaching out and intertwining his pinky with yours.

“I pinky promise that I won’t fall in love with you.” Jeonghan responds softly, pressing his thumb against yours, sealing the promise.

And now here you both are, still going strong after that sleep-deprived promise you made when you two were barely 16 years old.

You let out a yawn, covering your mouth with your hand while Jeonghan scrolls through his phone to try and show you the meme he saw earlier. Only for you to pause your movements when someone enters the auditorium.

“Look, I found it.” Jeonghan says happily, about to hold out his phone towards you, only to pause, seeing that you’re distracted. He turns his head in the direction of your awed state, only to find a handsome guy standing at the doorway, looking for a seat.

Jeonghan slowly turns back towards you, finding you still staring at the man. He’s never seen this expression on your face before when you looked at someone else, but he knows this look. And so, he lets out a grin, before standing up from his seat and walking down the steps.

Your eyes widen when you suddenly see Jeonghan’s red hair flash before your eyes, and you internally scream when you watch him walk up and bow to the incredibly pretty man.

“Hi! I’m Yoon Jeonghan.” This seems to startle the guy, but his eyes almost immediately turn up into an eye smile as he bows back in Jeonghan’s direction.

“Hi, I’m Wen Junhui.” Jeonghan grins back, before motioning over towards where you and him are seated.

“Oh God.” You mutter to yourself when the pretty man looks up at you, causing you to look down at your phone and check to see if you look at least half decent. You internally scream when you look back up to see him and Jeonghan walking up the steps, and you would’ve flipped Jeonghan off if it weren’t for the pretty guy looking at you.

“Yn! This is Wen Junhui, he’s a transfer.” Jun smiles at you, and you find yourself smiling back at him, warmth flooding your chest at the precious sight. “Hi yn, you can call me Jun.”

You nod your head, “Hi Jun, let Jeonghan and I know if you ever need any help!”

He sits down in the seat besides Jeonghan and bends down to take out the things from his bag, giving you enough time to quickly smack the back of Jeonghan’s neck. He squeaks, turning and shooting you a glare, only to stop and give Jun a reassuring smile when the pretty transfer looks at him in concern.

“Are you okay?”

Jeonghan nods his head, giving Jun a thumbs up. He glances towards you once more when Jun goes back to preparing his seat, only to find the slight sparkle to your eye as you stare at the transfer student. Jeonghan slowly looks away, knowing exactly what that sparkle will signify in the future.

Jeonghan walks towards the square with both airpods in, hands holding heat packs in the pockets of his coat to keep warm. He notices you sitting on the bench, bundled up in your large jacket as you wait for him, causing a small smile to form on Jeonghan’s face.

He’s about to call out your name, only to halt his movements when he sees Junhui heading the opposite way. Jeonghan looks between the two of you, knowing that you have a raging crush on the pretty man but won’t initiate anything, and that Junhui might possibly be interested in you as well.

It’s been a month since Jun transferred to Seoul National University, and Jeonghan’s slowly been trying to push the two of you together. However, he does it so that it’s not too obvious for the sake of him not getting yelled at by you.

When you yell, you yell for a long time.

And so, being the kind friend that Jeonghan is, he quickly walks unnoticed past you, and places both hands on Jun’s shoulders without a noise of greeting. This promptly startles the transfer student, considering the brief look of fear on Jun’s face, only for it to morph into a smile when he looks into Jeonghan’s eyes.

“Jeonghan!”

“Jun! Are you done with your lectures today?” Jun nods his head in response, and Jeonghan grins at his answer. He turns and points towards you, making Jun peek over his shoulder to see you practically shaped like an onigiri, with your shoulders to your chest and your large winter jacket wrapped around you. “Yn and I were just about to go and get lunch, wanna join?”

Jeonghan notices Jun’s eyes become a bit brighter when he looks at you, before he turns back to look at him and runs a hand through his hair. “That sounds great! I’m starving.”

Jeonghan nods his head, before turning towards you and calling out your name. You glance up at the sound of Jeonghan’s voice, looking over to find him and Jun standing a few feet away from you with small smiles on their faces. You shoot your best friend a look, and his smile simply grows wider as you stand up from the bench and walk over to the two.

“Jun! Are you joining us for lunch today?” You ask when you make it over to them, secretly slapping Jeonghan’s side for being a goddamn whore. Jun smiles and nods his head while Jeonghan inconspicuously rubs his waist to ease the sting from your smack.

“Where do you guys wanna eat?” Jun asks as the three of you begin walking out of the square. You think to yourself for a moment while Jeonghan stays quiet, letting you decide on where the gang will have lunch. You let out a grin when you finally think of where to eat, glancing at the two before saying, “Thai food!”

Jeonghan and Jun nod their heads in agreement, and you celebrate quietly between the two. You squeeze the heat packs in your pockets when Jun turns and looks at you, causing you to look back at him.

“What do you usually order at Thai restaurants?” You purse your lips at Jun’s question, fighting back the warmth from rushing to your face at the way he’s staring at you with so much interest. “It depends on my mood, to be honest.”

“Wanna order for me when we get there then? I’m not sure what to eat.”

“Horrible idea. What if I choose something you don’t like?”

“Then I’ll keep eating it, yn.”

“Jun!”

Jeonghan watches as you and Jun unconsciously walk faster until the two of you are now ahead of him. You are in your own little world as you bicker, but Jeonghan knows there’s no malice in your guys’ argument with the way you’re both smiling brightly at each other.

You pause when you don’t feel that familiar presence beside you, and you turn your head to find Jeonghan standing a bit far behind you and Jun. You squint at your best friend, before pulling your hand out of your pocket and waving him over.

“Hannie! What are you waiting for? Come here!”

Jeonghan tightly squeezes the heat pack in his pockets, before nodding his head and walking a bit faster to catch up to you guys. It’s only when he’s standing right beside you that the three of you begin heading towards the Thai restaurant again.

As the frigid temperatures hit him, Jeonghan’s left wondering why the heat packs no longer offer him any warmth as he watches you laugh with Jun.

Jeonghan sits beside you on your couch, invested in the new episode of the kdrama the two of you have been keeping up with. He turns his head when your phone lights up, and his eyes land on the contact name.

jun <3

“You got a text from Junnie.” Jeonghan says, taking a piece of popcorn and placing it into his mouth. You look away from the TV, picking up your phone and reading the message. Out of the corner of his eye, Jeonghan watches the dopey smile form on your face as your thumbs type out a text to your crush.

Suddenly the popcorn feels a bit too dry to swallow as Jeonghan reaches over to take a sip of water. It only goes down smoothly when you place your phone back down on the couch and adjust the blankets over you and Jeonghan.

“I love when the main actress stands up for herself.” You mutter, taking a few pieces of popcorn and tossing them into your mouth. Jeonghan nods his head in agreement, watching as the female lead starts cursing back at the man.

“There’s just something so satisfying about women proving that they don’t need a man to protect them. They need to show this more in kdramas, break the stereotype, ya know?” Jeonghan adds, and you smile softly, pride swelling in your heart at the simple sentence. He turns his head and catches sight of your soft smile, and he feels the undeniable feeling of warmth from the beauty of it.

A sudden bright light makes him glance down at the blankets, finding that your phone has lit up again. You notice as well, picking up the cool metal and reading the new text from Jun. Jeonghan watches as your mouth drops open and how you immediately stand up from the couch.

“Did something happen?” Jeonghan asks, only for your phone to be shoved directly into his face. The redhead curses quietly, muttering about how you need to update your phone to be able to turn on dark mode, before reading the message on the screen.

“He asked me on a date! Me! Wait, is it a date? What should I say?! What if he didn’t mean to send me that text?? Oh my God, I’m so nervous I could actually pee my pants.” You ramble, and Jeonghan’s eyes slowly trail up to your face, watching as you mumble to yourself and begin to pace around the small living room. He bites the inside of his cheek, before grabbing your phone out of your hands and typing out a message. Your eyes widen when you watch your best friend’s thumbs move swiftly across your screen.

“Wait, Yoon Jeonghan!”

“There.” Jeonghan states, handing you back your phone. You stare at the screen in silence.

jun <3: i was wondering if you wanted to go to the aquarium together on saturday? I remembered when you told me how you’ve never been, and the aquarium is having a christmas special even tho it’s november :3

It’s totally fine if you don’t wanna go by the way

you: that sounds great ! i can’t wait <3

jun <3: yay! I’ll pick you up at around 4 on saturday ~

Jeonghan watches as your eyes slowly trail up towards his face, and he wonders whether you’re gonna choke him or scream at him. Or both.

Jeonghan thinks it’s both.

It comes to his surprise when you instead wrap your arms around his frame, squeezing him tightly. Jeonghan slowly reciprocates the hug, cradling your head in his hand like he always does.

“Thank you, Hannie.” You mumble, and Jeonghan bites the inside of his cheek at the softness to your voice. He lets out a smile, nodding his head, “Of course, yn. Anything for you.”

“Did you know that you smell good?” Jeonghan raises an eyebrow at the random question, and the rumble of his chest from laughter makes you giggle in response, squeezing him tighter.

“Really? What do I smell like?”

You purse your lips in thought, before letting out a deep sigh. You close your eyes as you quietly say, “You smell delicate, it reminds me of Spring.”

Jeonghan’s heart thumps against his chest as he pats your head, “How can I smell like a season?”

“I don’t know. You just do.”

You pull away from the hug to flash Jeonghan a bright smile, and you watch as his features brighten at the sight. You rub the back of your neck, about to sit back down to finish the drama, only to pause when you realize something.

“Jeonghan!”

“Yn!”

“I have to choose an outfit for Saturday! Oh my GOD!” You sprint out of the living room and to your bedroom, while Jeonghan remains in the living room. He listens to the sound of your screeches, and the chaotic noises of clothes being pulled out of your closet.

“Hannie, come help! I’m not that stylish!”

Jeonghan bites his bottom lip, turning to look at the long forgotten drama. He lets out a sigh, bending down and picking up the remote, turning off the TV. The screen turns black, leaving him to stare at his reflection in the monitor.

It’s as if Jeonghan is having a staring contest with himself as he stares at the TV monitor, thinking of the answer to a question that he’s not willing to ever admit. He only looks away when he hears the call of his name, pursing his lips at the thoughts he was thinking.

Jeonghan pushes everything in his brain away, letting out a small smile when you walk out of your room with your head stuck in a hanger. You scratch the top of your head, confused as to how you even managed to fit your head through the small space.

“Please help.” You say, and Jeonghan chuckles, nodding his head and walking over towards your room.

“Should I ask how you even managed to get your head through the hanger?”

“No.”

“Good, because I didn’t plan out how I’d react if you told me about it.”

Jeonghan runs a hand through his hair as he looks out the window of his apartment, seeing the grand view of the city of Seoul at night. He tilts his head at the sight of a few fireworks shooting up into the sky, even though there’s about ten minutes left until it’s the new year.

“Hannie! My parents want to see your red hair.” He turns his head at the call of his name, finding you sitting at his kitchen table on FaceTime with your family. He grins and walks over to you, resting his hand on the back of your chair as he puts himself in the frame.

“Hi auntie and uncle! Happy New Year!” Jeonghan greets with a smile, and the two of you let out a laugh at your mom’s reaction to his bright hair color. He runs a hand through his hair, sending your mom a thumbs up in the camera. “Do you like my hair?

“I’m honestly just surprised that you pull it off so well.” Your mom responds, and you chuckle. Your dad nods in agreement, giving Jeonghan a thumbs up with a proud smile on his face. Grinning, you reach out and ruffle Jeonghan’s hair.

“Of course Hannie can pull it off! He’s one of the prettiest guys ever, I wouldn’t be surprised if he were able to rock green hair.” Your mom and dad laugh, while Jeonghan just stares at you for a moment, feeling slightly empty when you pull your hand away. Your mom lets out a mischievous smile, and you raise an eyebrow at it. “What are you planning, mom?”

“Since you think Jeonghan is so pretty, why aren’t you dating him yet?” Warmth immediately floods your face, and you let out a whine, causing your mom and dad to holler over in laughter. You turn to Jeonghan to apologize, and he just gives you a small smile, nodding his head in understanding. When you glance back at your phone to scold your parents, Jeonghan’s smile turns bitter, and he looks away from your screen to hide it.

You and Jun have been dating for a month now.

“I’ll talk to you guys later! Jeonghan and I have to take our annual New Year’s photo.” You say, waving at your parents with a bright smile on your face.

“Bye Jeonghan!” Jeonghan glances back over at your phone, finding your parents waving at him with happy expressions on their faces. He forces out a smile, waving back at them with the same energy they’re giving him. “Yn and I will try to visit soon!”

“Yeah you better!” You let out a laugh at your dad’s comment, waving at them one last time before ending the call. You lean back into the chair, closing your eyes to try and muster up some energy.

“Your parents’ love suck all the life out of you?” Jeonghan asks with an amused expression on his face, and you wave him away with your hand, eyes still closed as you do so. He chuckles, reaching out and pinching your cheek before walking back over to the couch.

“Are we gonna take a picture or what?” You open your eyes to see Jeonghan already preparing the polaroid camera, and you stand up and walk over to him. You rest your chin on his shoulder, making Jeonghan stiffen slightly, and he hopes you didn’t notice. However, you’re observant.

“Why’d you freeze? Oh! Is your shoulder bothering you again?” You ask in concern, immediately stepping back and assessing Jeonghan’s shoulder. He watches as you begin to ramble about how he should go to the doctor about his shoulder pain as you poke and prod at him. Biting the inside of his cheek, he moves his shoulder out of your reach, “It’s fine, I just slept wrong last night.” He lies through his teeth, and you stare into Jeonghan’s eyes as your hands slowly fall to your sides.

His deep brown eyes bore into yours, seeing a reflection of his own as he does so. After a moment of searching, you look away with a sigh.

Jeonghan’s eyes are your favorite feature of his, as his true emotions always show through them. They’re his most honest feature, you’d say.

so why can’t I tell if he’s lying right now?

You shake your head, before looking back at Jeonghan with a smile. You nod your head, reaching out and softly patting his shoulder as a means to not accidentally hurt him. “Let’s take the photo, I need a post for Instagram.”

Jeonghan scoffs, holding up the polaroid camera, “You only want to take photos with me so that you get more likes on Instagram.”

You smile, peace sign up towards your eye as you nod your head, “Of course. If I have a pretty boy beside me in my photos, then everyone will like them!”

Jeonghan smiles, winking into the polaroid camera as the flash goes off. The film photo immediately pops out, and you take the small photo and wave it around. Jeonghan purses his lips, before holding up the camera again.

“Let’s take one more.” He says, and you raise an eyebrow, surprised that he wants to take another photo with you. You place the polaroid down onto the coffee table before posing without question, as you’re afraid he will immediately take back the request.

“1, 2, 3-” Your hand makes your way to Jeonghan’s face, squishing his cheeks when the flash goes off. Jeonghan turns to face you, finding you giggling happily as you take the developing polaroid, flapping it around a bit before placing it onto the coffee table.

“I wanted to look handsome in that one.” Jeonghan whines, and you roll your eyes.

“You’re always handsome, be quiet.” You respond, and Jeonghan opens his mouth to argue, only to stop when you glance at the time.

“15 SECONDS!” You screech, grabbing the noise maker and confetti, handing one to Jeonghan in the process. You jump up and down as the two of you begin to count down.

“10!”

“9!”

“8!”

“7!” Jeonghan glances at you, feeling as if time is starting to slow down as you excitedly dance while counting down.

“6!”

“5!”

“4!” You laugh happily, doing a small dance as you prepare the confetti in your hand.

“3!”

“2!” Jeonghan feels his heart sink in his chest when you turn to face him with a bright smile, seeing all the stars in your eyes as you stare at him.

“1!”

“Happy New Year, Hannie!” You squeal, throwing the confetti up as high as you can into the air. Jeonghan swallows, noticing how dry his throat has become as he takes in the sight before him. Time comes to a slow as the fireworks explode in the air behind you through the window, while the confetti sparkles fall around the two of you. All the background noise drowns out, all of his senses honing in on you and you only. You look nothing short of ethereal in this moment.

The realization of what he’s been denying for the last three months comes to the surface as he stares at you, and he wishes for nothing more than for it to not be true. That it’s just a fluke.

However, when you turn back towards him and wrap your arms around his frame, greeting him Happy New Year once more, Jeonghan knows it’s the truth.

“Happy New Year, Yoon Jeonghan.” You say softly with a grin, and Jeonghan slowly wraps his arms around you, biting the inside of his cheek as he closes his eyes.

“Happy New Year, yn yln.” Jeonghan mutters, and you pull away to pull out your phone from your pocket. You wave it around Jeonghan’s face with a mischievous smile, “I’m gonna go greet Jun a happy new year, I’ll be back in a sec.”

Jeonghan squeezes his fist at his side, nodding his head as he gives you a smile. “Tell the handsome man I said Happy New Year.”

You give the redhead a thumbs up, before dialing Jun’s number and heading towards the bathroom. Once the door closes behind you, Jeonghan reaches up and clutches his chest, biting his bottom lip harshly as he looks down at the floor. He notices the now developed polaroids, and lifts up the one where you're squishing his face.

You’re staring at Jeonghan with stars in your eyes as you smile widely, hand squishing his cheeks. Jeonghan purses his lips, before pulling out his wallet from the back of his jeans, placing the polaroid into the slot before his driver’s license.

The photo reflects back at him underneath the light from the fireworks behind him, and Jeonghan lets out a breath. Running a hand through his hair, he closes his wallet and places it back into his pocket. Just in time too, as he looks up when he hears your bathroom door open, noticing the happy smile on your face.

“Ready to make midnight snacks to celebrate the new year?” You ask with a wink, and Jeonghan throws on his best fake smile, nodding his head.

“Of course I do, don’t ask me no stupid fucking questions.” Jeonghan teases, and you let out a laugh at the sentence, sending the redhead’s heart into a frenzy.

“Let’s go make food then.” You say, turning and heading towards the kitchen. Jeonghan slowly walks after you, a sad smile on his face as he watches you dance as you walk.

Just one more day. Jeonghan thinks to himself, before speeding up his pace and wrapping his arm around you. You turn to look at your best friend, and he smiles at you.

“Let’s make rice krispy treats.” Jeonghan suggests, only to let out a laugh at how your face brightens just at the mention of the delicious dessert, and you nod your head excitedly. You lead him to his own pantry, and begin explaining who’s gonna do what as you take out all the ingredients. All while Jeonghan watches fondly, knowing that he needs to ingrain this moment in his brain.

Just one more day with yn.

Jeonghan shuffles in front of your door, dreading what’s going to happen as soon as he knocks on the surface. He lets out a sigh, resting his head on the wall for a moment, questioning everything.

What if I just pretended?

I could just walk in and we could hangout like we usually do, like nothing has changed at all.

No.

Jeonghan lifts up his head, raising his fist and knocking on your door without a second thought. He bites the inside of his cheek when he hears you say, “Coming!”

Your front door opens after a moment, and his eyes trail over your outfit. An oversized vest over a white dress shirt paired with straight leg pants and sneakers to match. Jeonghan’s eyes slowly go back towards your face, just to find you staring at him with surprise painted over your features.

“Hannie! I wasn’t expecting you, what’s up?” You ask, and Jeonghan stays quiet for a moment. He gestures to you, and you raise an eyebrow.

“Are you going somewhere?” Jeonghan asks, and you nod your head. Letting out a smile, you show off your outfit and do a timid spin for emphasis on the oversized vest. “I have a date with Jun today, you like the fit?”

Jeonghan doesn’t respond, instead squeezing his fist in his pocket. He looks down the hallway, making you look in the same direction as well. You find Jun walking towards your apartment, and you let out a smile.

“Speak of the Devil. Did you need something from my apartment? You can just lock up when you’re done.” You tell Jeonghan as you turn back towards him, and you find the rest of the words die in your throat at the sadness in his eyes. You reach out to grasp his arm, and he takes a step back.

“Hannie, what’s wrong-”

“Jun is lucky to have you.” Jeonghan cuts you off, and you stare at him as he struggles to utter the next word. He turns back to look at Jun, seeing that he’s almost to your door, having not noticed Jeonghan yet.

“Jeonghan?” You ask, and you watch as the pretty man turns back to look at you.

“Pacman.” Jeonghan breathes out, and you feel your heart stop, unsure of why.

He turns around and walks away without another word, and your eyebrows furrow in confusion. You step out to ask him what he means, only for Jeonghan to stop and turn around himself. He gives you a bittersweet smile, waving his hand at you.

“You look beautiful, yn. Have fun on your date.” And with that, Jeonghan turns around and walks away, sucking in a deep breath to try and hold back the tears that threaten to escape. Leaving you alone by your doorway, confused.

“Was that Jeonghan?” You turn your head at the sound of Jun’s voice, and he gives you a soft smile. You nod your head slowly, turning to look back in the direction that he left in. “Yeah, he seems sad though.”

“Wanna go and check on him?” Jun asks, and you bite the inside of your cheek, remembering the tickets Jun bought in advance for the two of you to go to this garden. Regretfully, you shake your head and give Jun a warm smile. “It’s okay, I’ll check on him after our date.”

You quickly grab your phone and bag, locking the door to your apartment and turning to Jun with a grin. He extends his hand towards you, and you intertwine your fingers with his. The two of you walk towards the elevators, but you’re left in confusion as to what Jeonghan meant, and why he was so sad.

Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and months eventually turned into a year.

You and Jeonghan haven’t spoken since the day he stopped by your apartment and said that cursed word.

You tried to reach out once you realized what he meant, even stopping by his apartment multiple times to just get him to say something, anything. You were quite literally talking to a door, as there was never a response. There were times that you fell asleep in front of his apartment on the floor, and would wake up in Jun’s arms as he carried you back to your own place.

Many tears were shed, hearts were broken on both sides as you lost not only Jeonghan, but Jun as the two of you broke up four months after Jeonghan left.

“I’ll always love you, but I know that your heart belongs to someone else.” Jun tells you softly, and you bite the inside of your cheek. He gives you a small smile, grasping your face, making you look down at the floor as he presses one last kiss to your forehead.

Jun pulls away, and pats the top of your head. “Don’t be a stranger, yn. I love you.”

You wanted nothing more than for Jeonghan to be there with you at that moment, to help you take the baby steps in healing, but you couldn’t get through to him no matter how much you tried.

It was what you two promised to do, anyways.

He even managed to avoid you on campus successfully, you couldn’t be surprised though. The university is huge, you wouldn’t have been able to find him if you tried, which you did. He stopped frequenting all the places the two of you used to go to, it was as if he disappeared.

And the hole in your heart grew and grew the longer Jeonghan was gone.

Now here you are, a year later, sitting on a park bench as you let the music flow through your airpods. The weather is nice, a contrast to the rain that’s been pelting the city of Seoul for the last few days. The sky is blue, and there’s a slight wind to cool you down from the warmth of the sun. You tilt your head back, letting out a sigh as you remember the pile of assignments sitting on your desk back at home.

And so, placing your hands into the pockets of your hoodie, you get up off the bench and begin to walk down the path in the direction of your apartment. Your eyes stay on the ground the whole time, just trying to focus on the soothing piano as you ignore the other people walking by you.

You only look up when you get to the crosswalk, seeing a crowd of people across the street from you. Your eyes trail along the numerous faces you see, and you’re about to look back down when you lock eyes with a familiar pair.

“Jeonghan.” You breathe out as he stares at you with the same amount of shock written across his face. His red hair is now dyed black, emphasizing his sharp features. His eyes still hold all the warmth that you remember as he stares directly back at you, making the pain in your chest more evident at how much you miss him. You bite the inside of your cheek harshly at how much prettier he’s become, wondering how he’s capable of doing so as time passes.

The crosswalk signal turns green, but you remain where you are for a moment, as does Jeonghan. The reminder of the promise the two of you made flooding through your mind.

“Pacman.” You peek at Jeonghan, wondering why he mentioned your guys’ favorite game. He gives you a tired smile, “It’ll be our code word. Instead of leaving without a trace for a couple months, or confessing our feelings and then leaving, we can just say Pacman. It’s not directly saying I love you, and who knows if either of us will remember the word. It’s the perfect thing to say before disappearing for a bit.”

Jeonghan begins to cross the street first, and you look down at the road as you step off the sidewalk, melting in with the crowd as you walk in Jeonghan’s direction. Your heart is breaking within your chest as you do so, knowing that you have to keep the promise you made with Jeonghan.

The two of you pinky swore, after all.

Tightly, you squeeze your fists at your side as the piano instrumental reaches its climax in your ears. Numerous questions flood your brain as you reach the middle of the street.

Is this it?

Are we never going to be best friends again?

Has he already passed me?

Does…

Does he still love me?

All thoughts rush out your brain when a hand grabs your wrist unexpectedly, the sudden jerk of your arm making your earbud fall out of your ear and onto the road, the soft key sounds of the piano disappearing with the wind. You open your mouth to protest, but the words die in your throat when you’re pulled into a tight embrace. It’s only when the familiar scent of Spring fills your senses, that you immediately wrap your arms around Jeonghan’s frame, tears filling your eyes from the overwhelming feeling of relief.

“Hi, yn.” Jeonghan mutters into your ear, tears falling from his own eyes as he holds you tightly, never wanting to let you go. You let out a sob at the sound of his voice, closing your eyes as you clutch onto him just as tight, scared that he’ll disappear without a trace again if you let go.

And so, through your tears, you whisper, “Hi, Jeonghan.”

“Yn! It’s only a few more minutes until midnight!”

“Coming!” You shout back, checking over your reflection once more. You step out of the restroom once you’re sure that you look decent, and walk over to your living room. You let out a smile once you lay eyes on Jeonghan laying upside down on your couch, scrolling through his phone.

“What are you doing, Hannie?” You ask, and the black haired beauty peeks at you past his phone, flashing you a smile.

“It’s more comfortable this way, wanna try?” You roll your eyes, flicking his forehead as you grab the polaroid camera. He lets out a whine, fixing his position so that he’s now sitting properly and not upside down.

“Why’d you flick me?”

“Cause you’re cheeky.” You answer, preparing the polaroid film to take the annual New Year’s Eve photo. Jeonghan grins, quickly fixing his hair to make sure it looks presentable. “Do I look okay?”

You quickly turn towards him, taking in his features. His soft eyes gaze into yours as you stare at his pretty nose and high cheekbones. You reach out and pinch his cheek with a smile, “You look pretty, Hannie. You always do. Now let’s take this photo.”

Jeonghan smiles happily at your compliment, before taking the polaroid camera from you and holding it out as you have trouble doing so. You let out a bright smile at the camera, Jeonghan doing the same as he takes the photo. The flash goes off, and you’re quick to take the film out and wave it around.

“Another one.” You command as you take the polaroid camera out of Jeonghan’s hands, and he chuckles, nodding his head. You hold the camera out and send a wink towards the camera, Jeonghan doing the same pose.

“Okay. 1, 2, 3-” Jeonghan quickly changes his pose last minute, reaching out with his hand and squeezing your cheeks with a laugh. The flash goes off, and you let out a whine, turning back towards the pretty man to see him still giggling as he takes the polaroid out and waves it around.

“Are you happy now that you’ve gotten your revenge?” You ask, and he nods his head with a grin. “Very happy, actually.”

You’re about to respond, only to pause when you see that there’s only 30 seconds left until the clock strikes midnight. You practically screech, standing up from the couch to grab the noise makers. Jeonghan watches you with a fond smile on his face, getting up from the couch to snatch the confetti.

“You’re doing confetti this year?” You ask when you scramble back over, noise maker now in your grasp. Jeonghan chuckles, “Why do we always get confetti when it’s a pain to clean up afterwards?”

You purse your lips, refusing to answer the question as you begin to count down the seconds instead. Jeonghan rolls his eyes at your antics, starting to count down along with you.

“10!”

“9!”

“8!”

“7!” Jeonghan nudges you a bit, and you stumble over, making the latter laugh loudly as you squint at him.

“6!”

“5!”

“4!” You and Jeonghan turn towards each other, bright smiles on your faces as you continue to count down.

“3!”

“2!”

“1!”

“Happy New Year!” You both cheer, and Jeonghan throws the confetti up high into the air. You laugh excitedly as it falls around the two of you, feeling your heart warm when he turns to you and grasps your face with his hands.

Your eyes softly fall shut as Jeonghan leans in and captures your lips in a kiss to celebrate the new year. Your hands trail up and rest on his sides, gripping his shirt as a smile breaks out onto both of your faces. He pulls away and rests his forehead on yours, staring into your eyes.

“I love you, yn.” He whispers, and you feel your heart swell from joy.

“I love you too, Jeonghan.” Warmth fills Jeonghan from those three simple words that hold so much depth as the two of you begin to sway side to side to the soft music filling the background.

The polaroid that Jeonghan kept in his wallet for the last two years sits up on the frame behind the both of you as you slow dance, the bright colors of the fireworks exploding outside casting an iridescent glow over the two of you.

As you scoot closer and rest your head onto Jeonghan’s chest, and his hand softly cradles the back of your head, you realize that sometimes,

Promises are meant to be broken.

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mishasminions · 4 years ago

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The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15.

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

#THE LAST TIME I'LL CLOWN FOR THIS SHOW #SUPERNATURAL #DESTIEL #15x20 #15x19 #15x18 #UNTAGGED #INSIGHTFUL INSIGHTS

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tellerluna-stories · 3 years ago

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death, doom, and flowers that bloom

PAIRING: dazai x reader

GENRE: angst with a happy ending!

TW/CW: heavy themes of suicide and death, existential discussion. please read with caution.

A/N: sOO I finally finished this fic after months of working on it!! this is the result of watching doom at your service, listening to yoru ni kakeru by yoasobi, and having an existential crisis but deciding to make it into art. the plot changed a bit from what i had originally planned and this story actually got a bit…. personal, so there’s a little more of me in this story than usual. to those who also feel as if they were no longer human, this story is dedicated to you.

“I then saw in this reaper – a vague figure struggling like a devil in the full heat of the day to reach the end of his toil – I then saw the image of death in it, in this sense that humanity would be the wheat being reaped. (...) But in this death nothing sad, it takes place in broad daylight with a sun that floods everything with a light of fine gold.” — Vincent Van Gogh, to his brother Theo

If you happen to be familiar with the legend of the Grim Reaper, then you must surely know the basics; a grim reaper is the one tasked to accompany souls to the afterlife. At least, that is what is said in the legends.

When the life of someone whose time is not up yet is involved, the reaper can look like an emaciated skeleton that preys on the souls of the living with malicious intent. For others whose loved ones are weary and suffer with every breath they take, death is seen as a guardian angel sent from above, a bringer of peace to the ones whose time is near.

But in this universe, this certain timeline, the reapers are neither monsters nor men. They walk and talk like us, but they are not to be confused with regular people. Some can disappear into the shadows, some can erase or recall memories and emotions, and some have abilities that are yet unheard of in power. If humanity was a garden, these reapers would be the butterflies that tend to the flowers.

However, despite their seemingly godlike powers they are merely messengers fulfilling the tasks given to them; just as humans do, they grow weary of their duties or are beset by worries. Some even question as to why they are reapers in the first place. But regardless of their feelings or insecurities they push forward with their duties, for they know that they serve a greater purpose.

This brings us to the life of a certain individual- one named Dazai Osamu.

Dazai stood atop the railing of a lonely bridge in Yokohama, his long coat billowing in the howling wind as he watched the sun set. The lights of the city slowly flickered on one by one, like stars in the night sky.

Looking at the world around him, Dazai saw the bustling city life and sighed. “I don’t understand human beings at all.”

He peered at the distant streets of the city with one bandaged eye, watching the people go about their daily lives. All of them were busy, busy, busy— and for what?

From dust man came, and to dust he would return; in the end, everything this species did would eventually fade into faint smudges on the vast record of history, too old for anyone to remember or even care about. So why did human beings care so much— why try so hard?

The ironically familiar sensation of being a stranger in a strange land settled over Dazai, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. Perhaps, he might have felt like a human once; but it had been so long ago that he no longer remembered what it might’ve been like.

“That’s a dangerous place to stand, mister. You might fall into the river if you keep that up.”

He spun around haphazardly to see someone standing behind him— your eyes met his, alarm and concern evident in your gaze. Well to be fair, Dazai reckoned it wasn’t everyday one saw a strange man swathed in bandages and dark fabric standing on the railing of a bridge.

“What if I told you I wanted to fall in?” He hummed slightly in reply, voice rusty from disuse. When was the last time he had spoken to someone…?

“Then I would jump after you to fish you out. It’s what any decent human being would do, right?”

“Human…” Dazai savoured the word on his tongue, contemplating its meaning. “Tell me, what is it to be a ‘decent human being’, as you put it? What does it mean to be human?”

A slight frown crossed your features— he could tell he had caught you off-guard by such questions.

“How to be a decent person is a hard question…” Your voice trailed off as you mused over your answer a little more. “I guess I’d say that one must live their life out to the full potential we’ve been given. As for the second question- you’re already human, so I’m sure you know the answer, right?”

Already human, eh?

He burst into laughter and plopped down on the railing, barely able to keep his balance on the narrow perch. “Oh, you’re a funny one for sure. I’m already human, you say?” Dazai gestured to himself with one bandaged hand, an empty shell of a smile spreading across his face. “My ability allows others to regain their humanity, but not once I have ever felt human.”

The wind howled wildly, whistling through the railings of the bridge and whipping into a frenzy; he shivered as it brushed icy fingertips on the back of his neck, but it didn’t seem to affect you at all.

“You feel sad, don’t you?” You tilted your head ever so slightly, a confused look on your face. “There are days when you are happy or sad or angry— isn’t that a part of being human?”

Dazai hesitated, unable to think of a reply. True, he did feel something akin to what you had described; little quivers and odd stirrings in his heart that disappeared as quickly as they came. But they were unfamiliar sensations to him— vague, feeble ripples in the vast ocean of his numbness.

Is that really how it was meant to be…?

Impossible.

There was no way it was that simple. He’d sought out every option, every possible formula that his mind could comprehend— there was no way Dazai could accept such an easy answer. The very thought of it made his blood boil.

You inched a little closer to him, a tentative look in your eyes. “Say, mister… why did you ask me that? Is it for research or something?”

“Something like that.” He tugged at his bandages absently. “It has something to do with a promise I made…“ Wait, why was he telling you this?

Scoffing, Dazai brushed off his attire and looked at you up and down. What sort of person had dared to interrupt him in his hour of contemplation— himself, of all people? Nobody came by this place, especially at this time of day… but you didn’t seem to be any different from the rest of the busybodies who roamed the city streets.

As he scrutinized your appearance, Dazai slowly became aware that you, too, were looking at him. And it was not in the way that he was accustomed to, if people were to even see him in the first place— there was nothing like fear or awe in your eyes. Rather, it was a mix of curiosity and something else… worry? sadness?

Whatever your reason was, you continued to stare at him till Dazai cleared his throat loudly.

“Ah, I’m so sorry!” You jumped slightly. “I got lost in thought there- I didn’t mean to be rude and stare at you like that.”

Watching your antics as you bowed in apology over and over, Dazai couldn’t help but feel the same feeling settle over him- the sense of discontent and alienation that followed him everywhere he went, the bitter realization that he did not belong in a world full of human customs. Saying sorry, being on good terms with others… what was the point of it all?

The bitter taste returned to his mouth, even stronger than before.

“Is that all you have to say to me?” He asked, a derisive sneer curling on his face. “Shouldn’t you be a little more concerned about what doom awaits your fate?”

You stepped back slightly, the look in your eyes changing to one of confusion. “Doom?”

“You’re a living, breathing person, aren’t you? Aren’t you aware of how everything around us will eventually decay and fall apart, with whatever pathetic efforts of you being a decent human being going to waste?” Dazai teetered back and forth on the edge of the railing, swaying between the border of the living and the dead as he watched you closely. “That is the fate of the living, and from my point of view it’s a hopeless case, indeed. However…”

Somehow, he found the look in your eyes refreshing; the way you were postured to reach out and catch him if he made a mistake… perhaps the idea of someone reaching out to him wasn’t so bad.

“However, if you were to answer my question… perhaps I would be open to changing that opinion of mine.”

“If I answer, will you get down from there?” You replied immediately, uneasiness in your gaze.

“Maybe, maybe not. It depends on whether I like your answer.” Dazai smiled angelically and lurched backwards off the bridge.

“No!”

You lunged forward, desperation evident in your face and tone of voice; but Dazai gripped onto the railing just as he was about to fall, catching himself.

“Oh, goodness me, you should’ve seen the look on your face!”

“That- that wasn’t funny.” Your voice trembled as you straightened up— oh, how delightfully naive you looked, he thought absently. “Please get down, it’s not safe there at all.”

“Answer me first.” He leaned his cheek into the palm of his hand, idly tracing circles onto his knee with the other. “Why should one bother to live a good life, fair stranger? Death is inevitable and doom will come to this world eventually, whether one lives to their full potential or not.”

You fell silent, and Dazai couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed; it would have been nice for someone to explain to him the question he had struggled to answer all his life. It was the first time in a long time someone had stopped to talk to him like this, and he had hoped that… what did he hope for? What exactly had he been expecting?

Just when he thought you had nothing more to say, you cleared your throat, fumbling for the right words to say. “…Flowers fade so quickly that it might seem that it’s a bother to plant them at all, but a garden is most beautiful when the blossoms are blooming and thriving.”

“What sort of poetic nonsense is that?” Dazai frowned. “I didn’t ask for a proverb, I wanted a straight answer.”

“That’s the best way I can explain it, alright?” Your voice cracked in frustration. “It’s hard to— oh, I wish I could just show it to you, so you could see it for yourself.”

“It’s a shame, really.” He turned and looked at the river below— the frigid water frothed in a dark and unwelcoming manner, and for a second Dazai felt a flicker of doubt cross his mind. It looked as cold and as lonely as his numbness felt, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to surround himself by more reflections of who he was.

“Please.”

His gaze swiveled back to you; you extended your hand to him, a gentle, sad look in your eyes. “Come down. It’s dangerous.”

Dazai eyed your outstretched hand warily, but still accepted the gesture.

A strange, otherworldly look flashed in your eyes as you grasped onto his hand tightly, and something like an electric current ran through Dazai’s entire body and soul, shaking him to the core.

In a single split-second, Dazai understood what it was to be human for the first time in his life. To fear something and to be in love with it all the same, to be utterly wretched but to have been redeemed. What he thought was no longer human became flesh and blood once again, and Dazai felt the blood rushing through his veins and pumping through his heart— he was alive, alive, alive.

He looked to the city and saw a chaos of extremes and in-betweens; human depravity had sprouted like a wild jungle, choking any good that tried to grow. Your hand gripped onto his a little bit tighter, and he looked closer and saw little sprouts of good, seeds of hope that had been planted there by a wise gardener.

“This is the world we live in,” You murmured softly, and suddenly Dazai found himself in the middle of the crowd that he used to despise so much. Laughing children brushed past him in a game of rough-and-tumble, while lovers linked arms and gazed each other with immeasurable fondness. Families and friends chattered over food, their laughter so warm and alive he could practically see it glowing like candlelight.

Like flowers, the joy and happiness around Dazai bloomed into beauty, sharply contrasting the ugly thorns that surrounded them. At first, it seemed like the flowers would be choked to death by the weeds, but no— in the ugly frailty and futility, that was where one could also find the simple beauty of merely existing.

Lives lived to full potential… was it this simple, after all?

“You had asked me what it was to be human, correct? It’s something I don’t understand myself, but…” Your tone was unbelievably gentle as you gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Just to be alive, to exist— that is what I think it means to be human. There’s no right or wrong way to be one; you just are.”

The bustling, glowing crowd faded, and he found himself sitting on the railing once more. The sky was clouded in the serene blue coolness that came after sunset— but Dazai could still hear the feverish beating of his heart, even if the world around was quiet.

That feeling— what could that have been? It was so beautiful, and yet it seared into his very soul with such pain. It was not complete happiness, nor was it sadness- whatever stirred within was something completely alien to him.

However, it was not necessarily a bad feeling…

“Mister… mister.”

You waved a hand in front of his face, the other still loosely holding onto his bandaged one. “Did I explain it enough? Or did you tune me out because I was rambling too much…”

Dazai blinked rapidly, suddenly feeling warm tears sliding down his face and seeping through the bandages that covered his eye. Any reply he tried to muster shriveled up and withered away on his tongue before he could say anything, so he simply shook his head in response.

“Oh.” Your mouth formed a round ‘o’ in understanding; you gave his shoulder a sympathetic pat and gently pulled him down to stand on solid ground. “…I guess you’re feeling human now, after all.”

Dazai stood wordlessly as you brushed his coat off, straightening out any creases that might’ve come from perching on the rail for a long period of time. Memories from a not-so-distant time flooded his brain in a hazy flashback; laughter between a trio of friends at a bar in a hidden alleyway. Someone who had watched over and cared for him like a brother— and lastly, a promise he had made to a dying man.

Your hands slid to a stop over the edge of his coat, before hesitantly reaching up to firmly grip his shoulders. “…Mister.”

“…What is it?”

“How do you feel right now?”

His hand slid up to clutch the front of his shirt, the stiff fabric crumpling up in his fist- the sound of his heartbeat still echoed in his ears, reverberating through his bones and coming out through his trembling hands. The empty sea of numbness churned into a frenzy of feelings that were almost overwhelming- but at the same time, Dazai felt more at peace than he had in a long time.

“Strange, for the lack of a better word.” Dazai let out a hoarse chuckle and slumped against the railing. “It feels almost alien.”

“I guess it would feel a little strange,” You remarked, a lighthearted note creeping into your tone. “But I hope you mean that in a good way.”

“Is this how a person usually feels on a regular basis? If so, I don’t know if I could handle it.”

“Eh, you’ll probably get used to it after a while. You have your whole life to learn how to, after all.”

You smiled a little and leaned against the railing, raising one hand skyward as if to reach for the clouds. “You had a point, by the way.”

“About what?”

“If everyone dies anyway, why even bother trying to live a good life? It wouldn’t matter either way. But then, with that same logic…” You paused, fiddling with your fingers as you tried to find the right words. “Everyone dies anyway, so why not try to live your life to the fullest potential? Even if what you do is lost to time or if what you do is memorable only to you- if you accept the gift that is life, then those things will not matter, whether you look to the past or the future.”

Dazai scoffed. “It couldn’t possibly be that simple, could it?”

“Hmm, but what if it actually was?”

He paused to think over what you had said; all his complicated methods and formulas for living a good life had failed him, leaving him with a broken ego and a distaste for existence. But with such a simple, straightforward method… would it really work?

“Of course, that doesn’t guarantee a life that is easy. It will always be full of mistakes and wrong directions, but that’s all part of being alive— of being human.” You propped your head on your hand, your gaze fixed on the city lights that sprawled below. “There’s a quote I like that probably applies to this situation; man has nothing better under the sun but to eat, drink and be joyful, for this will go with him in this toil through the days of life that one has been given.”

“A solid piece of advice, I must say. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Isn’t it?” You glanced at him, an amiable expression on your face. “You can only live one day at a time. One should not live in the shadows of the past, nor will one benefit from living in fear of the future— the only thing we have is the gift that is the present.”

“Was that a pun?”

“Maybe.”

He fell silent, observing the way you looked at the city— did you always see the world in such shining beauty? Was that how you could look at it with such love and respect?

“What do you see when you look at Yokohama, mister?” The sound of your voice broke the silence.

“It’s a noisy, lawless place. Criminal gangs run it by night, and the government takes the reins by day. People are always busy and don’t seem to care about either party.” Dazai contemplated for a moment before hesitantly adding, “But somehow, there is still something beautiful to be found in its chaos. Like Pandora’s box, there is hope hidden amongst all the foul ugliness.”

You nodded in satisfaction. “That’s a good answer. Do you mind if I write that down?”

“Feel free to do as you wish.”

“Thank you, mister. I don’t think there’s anything more I can do here, so I guess this is where we part ways.” Firmly grasping his shoulders, you spun him about-face and gave him a gentle shove down the street. “Now go. You have a promise to keep, don’t you?”

He turned to say something, anything— a word of thanks, a question as to who you were… but there was nobody to reply. The bridge was empty, with no sign of anyone having ever been there; instead, there was a single flower where you had stood- a lone white chrysanthemum, laying on the concrete.

A garden is most beautiful when the blossoms are blooming and thriving.

Dazai picked it up and studied it, before sticking it into the front pocket of his coat— the white petals starkly contrasted his gloomy attire, but somehow he felt it was a good contrast.

“I suppose it’s time to keep that promise I made, Odasaku.” He said aloud. “It’s been almost four years now, and I believe I should keep my word. Who knows? Maybe life will become as beautiful as the vision I saw today.”

Invisible to the human eye, you watched as Dazai walked away with the flower in his hands; a sigh of relief escaped your mouth as you noted his eyes gleamed a little bit brighter than when you first spoke to him on the bridge.

“You had me worried today… well, you always have me worried, since it is part of my job.” You said to his retreating figure, a slight scolding tone to your voice. “But I hope that you’ll feel better from now on, and that you won’t need to find comfort on this lonely bridge anymore.”

A light rainfall began to drizzle overhead, spattering the pavement with little droplets. With a weary sigh, you stretched your limbs and prepared to depart- you had other duties to attend to this evening, and couldn’t afford to dawdle any longer.

Taking one last look towards your charge, you smiled softly- his friend would be proud of Dazai, you could tell. You made a mental note to tell him later when you got back from your errands.

“We’ll meet again someday, when the time has come for you to come home.” You whispered softly. “But for now… live well. Live your life in a way that you will have no regrets at the end of it. Keep your promise and find who you are really meant to be, even if it takes time.”

Taking a step back, your gaze lingered on his silhouette as you melted into the shadows. “I will be the one to escort you at the very end, so… do not be afraid, Osamu Dazai.”

130 notes · View notes

spectracully · 4 years ago

Text

busy boy.

pairing : fratboy!jaemin x sororitygirl!reader warnings : drinking, mentions of drugs, a bit suggestive (but pls note that this isn’t smut), cursing, mentions of divorce genre : fluff, angst, college!au word count : 2.5k

summary : inspired by chloe x halle - busy boy. basically playing around with the local campus playboy, na jaemin for months is not the best thing, not the worst thing either.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You face yourself in the bathroom mirror, hands gripping the white sink. You saw him, right there. Dancing in the middle of the frat house’s living room with a girl in his arms. Na Jaemin, the boy you’ve been talking with for 3 months now, who recently just texted you “are you up?” on 9.15, and when you replied to him that you’re actually at his frat house, attending the party that Jaehyun hosts, he just texted you back one hour later by saying he’s with his family.

You’re malfunctioning right now, still dazed, don’t know whether it's because of the alcohol, the weed Lucas gave you, or it’s just you- believing his cheap lies. Cause when you think about it, who the fuck leaves the campus, go home and spend time with family in finals month? Yeah, you’re the one who’s dumb here, actually believing his lies. But who blames you for believing in the first place, anyway? You and your sorority sisters have arrived here since 8.30 anyway, an hour and half is long enough to get you lightheaded from the shots you take.

You glanced at your watch, it’s only 11.28 pm. About an hour since you read his text, and practically 34 minutes after you literally saw him. Facepalming yourself, you close the toilet seat and sit above it. It’s not even right in the middle of the night, but it has been a wild ride for you. It’s kinda frustrating when you are the one who actually started this game, you knew Jaemin is hell of a playboy on campus, yet you decided to get some taste of it just because he’s being a real gentleman with sweet words to you. Yeri was actually furious when she saw Jaemin dropped you off at the sorority house a few weeks ago, she warned you that you should dump him before you’re too attached, but you won’t listen. There it is, the fruit of not listening to Yeri’s 40 minutes lecture of how you should avoid men like Jaemin, Lucas, Yuta, Ten, Johnny and Jaehyun in your love life, big disappointment.

Finally catching your breath, you decided that it is time you get back outside, and actually do something about it, rather than being all somber and gloomy. Jaehyun threw a goddamn frat party in the middle of finals month to relax the fellow students’ mind, not for you to dwell on your sadness, in the bathroom. It’s embarrassing. And a disgrace for your sorority.

You head out, spotting Lucas who’s leaning by the counter with Hendery and Jungwoo. They’re probably hitting more blunt and having some existential crisis over a potato chip wrapping. You continue to scan across the house, only to catch a sight of Joy busy making out with Sungjae on the couch. Or Yeri, who’s currently twerking to Doja Cat’s song, totally shitfaced. You sighed, your friends are either high, shitfaced, or sucking a boy’s face out. You really wanna continue your search for your other sisters, but then suddenly a light brown haired boy appears in front of you.

“Hey, y/n, you alright? You look like you’ve been through 4 divorces.” he asks as he stares at you, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I just went through a fucking divorce. With your homeboy.” you answer him absentmindedly, pointing to the black haired boy who is wearing a black-white patterned wool sweater and a red shirt underneath, along with his slate-grey suit pants and a silver necklace. The boy in the topic is currently talking with the girl you saw earlier, being all smiley and shit.

Mark just laughs lightly as he sips his beer, “Oh him? Yeah he’s quite a busy boy. Probably went through countless divorces with half of the campus.” you chuckle at him, he knows what you’re talking about. All these girls never even had a proper official relationship with Jaemin, including you, but always ended up getting a nasty ass divorce without any reason. You know that, but you did not expect that you’d hang on up until now.

“You wanna do something about it?” Mark asks, nudging your elbow. He’s in a helpful mood now, probably because he is still not completely shitfaced or high. You glance at him, giving him a questioned look.

“Well.. I mean I would do it, but what? Kissing you in front of him so that he’ll get jealous? No, Mark. You know that his head is made out of a fucking rock, right?” You answer him, seizing his beer and take a big ass gulp.

“Hey, that’s my beer- What? Kiss you? Gross, dude. If you are looking for that guy, might as well run to Lucas or Jungwoo.” he lifts his eyebrows, slightly engrossed. You laugh at him, he’s a funny guy when he reacts to your silly jokes.

“Do I look like I wanna give you a kiss, Mark? No offense, but I don’t like crackly lipped boys.” you tease him, now he’s pouting and starts touching his lips, “Is it too crackly though? You have a lipbalm or something?” he asks

You continue to laugh while fishing the watermelon lipbalm out from your black leather jacket and pass it to him. He muttered a small thanks. You set the beer aside to the table then face him once more.

“Anyways, what should I do?” you eye him, who is now done applying the lipbalm.

“Drop your drink to the girl or something? Make sure he notices you dude.” he suggests, shrugging his shoulder.

“You’re dumb, Mark. It’ll cause a fucking catfight in the middle of party.” you deadpanned.

“Oh yeah, you have a point.” he swept his hair to the side, glancing at the whole party situation. That’s when you get the idea. Scratch kissing other boys in front of him, it’s probably the right time to call him the fuck out, you already have alcohol running in your system anyways, might as well go all out tonight, since everybody else also seems like already intoxicated by the liquors.

You lightly brush your hair, stretching your neck and praying to god that he’ll forgive you for what you are about to do. “Toodles, Mark. I’ll think a way when I get drunk, soon enough.” you wave him a goodbye, heading to the dining table to get a bottle of vodka, it’s half empty though, considering you’re being pessimistic tonight.

You chug the bottle with no mercy, wishing it’ll bring you straight to intoxication. You start to feel it kicking in, when you finish the last drop of the vodka. Banging the bottle to the nearby table, you make your way to Jaemin, who is currently sitting on the staircase by himself, checking his phone.

“Ooh, busy boy, aren’t you?” you ask him, not giving anymore fucks. He looks up to you, who is currently squinting at him, face reddening from the alcohol heat. He stares at you, biting his lip.

“Y/n. You’re drunk.” he says lightly as he stands up, tucking strands of your hair to the back of your ear. You squirm from his action. As much as you want to punch him in the face for playing with your emotions, you really miss his touch.

“I am not! Jaemiiiiin, why did you lie to meeeee?” you whine loudly to him on purpose, placing his hand on your face, pouting. Your plan worked, a few people turned their heads to you and Jaemin. He just sighs and snorts, smelling the strong liquor scent that slipped out of your lips. You can feel Yeri is probably trying to kill you with her glare, you know how much she hates Jaemin.

“Listen, baby, what are you trying to pull?” Jaemin whispers close to your ear. You’re not that sure whether it’s because of the loud music blasting in the whole house, or it’s just Jaemin’s voice. Whatever it is, your ears are tingling, sending funny sensations down to your spine.

Jaemin is pissed, you know it damn well from his tone, stern and strong. Oh yes, you love it so much, pissing him off, probably you’ll start humiliating him more and more in his own frat home, because that’s what he deserves for playing with you, and some other random girls.

“Don’t baby me, Jaemin! You said you were with your family, and then I saw you with some random girl!” you shout. At this point, you don’t really care about what others think of you, because they can clearly see you’re being drunk and probably will shrug it off. If that’s what it takes to call Jaemin out in a huge crowd, then you’ll take it. You have nothing to lose, anyway, they’ll agree with you, they all know Jaemin is a big flirt.

And there it is, the anger and humiliation fills Jaemin up. He pulls your wrists, practically dragging you upstairs. You liked it, don’t know why, it’s just fun, making him mad when it’s actually you, who should’ve been mad in the first place. He rushes you to get into his shared bedroom with Jeno and Renjun. Amused, you quickly sit on his bed, acting like you’re dumb.

He shuts the door behind him, crossing his arms. “What’s this all about, baby?”

You snort, “I think you know, Jaemin. You’ve been messing around me for 2 months- or what, I actually lost count because you’re such a busy boy.”

He widen his eyes, “I don’t-”

“Oh shut up, are you surprised that I actually last longer than all your pretty girls?” you stand up, you can’t contain the anger anymore.

“Listen, baby, I-”

“I said, don’t baby me when you do that to probably other 7 girls!” you shout, glaring at him, who is currently freezing on his space.

He sighs and sweeps his hair in frustration, licking his lips. “Will you listen to me first, at least?”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms while glancing at his study desk. Nicely decorated, and you can see his family photograph neatly placed in a small frame. You noticed that he’s quite a reader too, judging from his book collection compared to Jeno and Renjun.

“First, I gotta admit, you last longer than other girls, yes. And second, it’s because I want to keep you-” he starts, taking a seat next to you,

You scoffed, “Keep me? You think I’m some kind of puppy that follows you around, Jaemin? You’re being such a dick right now! Do you think that I’m just some kind of wh-”

“Can you not interrupt me, baby? I’m talking.” he growls, placing his hand to your thigh. You can feel your cheeks heat up from his actions. Jaemin, being Jaemin, can sense that you’re actually flustered, he lightly squeeze your thigh, just to see your cheeks redden even more. God, he’s such a flirt.

“But first, I got to be honest with you, I was torn between ghosting you or continuing. That explains the lie a lot.” he clears his throat, looking into your eyes. You’re not giving him a reaction (except the fact that you’re already as red as a fucking cooked lobster from his hand placement), just like he said, don’t interrupt him.

“I mean- after all those messing around, I grow tired of it. I-I don’t even want to flirt anymore, I want to be comforted.. Those girls, those people.. They know I’m not serious and they do the same, y/n. We just kinda.. Have a good time and dipped.”

You’re still sitting in silence, eyes fixed on Jaemin, who now looks flustered. This is not Jaemin at all, he’s usually cocky, cheeky, and flirty, just exactly like a few seconds ago. He usually throws wink here and there, but now he actually looks… vulnerable.

“I was surprised you’re still holding on for like 3 months.. Those girls won’t even last for 2 days, y/n. It’ll end up me ghosting them or vice versa, no one ever had a second date with me. But you, you can’t seem to give up when I’m not replying, don’t you?” he chuckles as he looks at you softly,

You giggle at him a little, “Yes. I’m THAT dumb, Jaemin.” you admit to him. In reality, you know it, you know when he’s not replying, he’s probably with some other girls. But you are being deadass, you just don’t know what possessed you, you just keep on texting him like it’s nothing.

He rubs the back of his neck, “I was actually scared that you’ll dump me when I develop actual feelings to you.. Or worse, what if I break your heart after we have something? I mean, if I have to, I’d break it now, so the pain is not too harsh. That’s why I keep on lying to you, and maybe, not replying to your messages.”

At first, you feel bad from hearing him speak truthfully. But after he opened his mouth again, you can feel the anger slowly rising again through your veins. He is very very selfish and self-centered. Is this how he show his true color? A man with a big ego? That’s it?

You tilted your head, “Fuck you. Really. Then why did you start the conversation, Jaemin? You could’ve told me how you felt and we’re set. But I can see-”

He shakes his head, interrupting your words, “I-I told you, y/n. I’m very torn between wanting to pursue you, or letting you go. That’s why I often not replying right after I texted you. I’m sorry, I really do.”

You’re angry. You’re sad. But you’re confused that you’re a little happy too, hearing him speak from the bottom of his heart. But that’s very selfish of him, doing those acts to you. He could’ve told you what he actually feels way earlier than this, so you can make sure what are you two doing, instead of playing pointless games of ghosting and chasing around again.

“I see. You’re so fucking selfish, Jaemin. We talked for months and this is all I got? Am I not worth of your explanation from the start? I know you wouldn’t do anything if I hadn’t drag your ass in the middle of the fucking party!” you stand up, you can no longer hide your disappointment to him, tears start rolling down your face.

His heart breaks a little, watching bundle of tears fall from your eyes. He is the heartbreaker, but those girls were never crying when he ghosted them after they had fun, those girls would catch another boys and forget about Jaemin right away. This is Jaemin’s first ever experience, seeing a girl crying because of what he did.

He knows that he’s an asshole for playing fire, but now he feels like he is THE asshole. He broke your heart right on, and it breaks his heart right back.

You sigh deeply, trying to catch a breath after a few sobs. “Don’t fucking find me. Have fun with your girls.” you look at his eyes with full of anger and hate. With heavy steps, you walk to the door, thinking about things you’re about to do once you get downstairs, probably joining Lucas and the gang, stoning yourself out, so you don’t have to think about Jaemin and his stupid beautiful face.

Just when you try to reach the door knob, you can feel Jaemin is grabbing onto your hand.

“Y/n, I am truly sorry.. After what you did earlier, I realized that I’m a big fucking loser. I can’t even admit my feelings. When you call me out earlier, I just wanna dissolve into thin air. I can’t handle the shame of being such a dick, I should’ve told you what I feel instead of making uncertain decisions.”

You turn to him, seeing his eyes glimmering, probably because of the tears pooling up. You’re hurt, you want to push him away as far as possible, you want to see him suffer. Hell, you just want him to extinct. But seeing him like this, you can’t lie to your own feelings, you like him. You really do. But just like your sorority sisters taught you, yourself comes first, not those stupid silly boys who just fuck around.

“Goodbye, Jaemin.” you say to him, holding back more tears coming in.

Just when you’re getting ready to reach the doorknob for the second time, he pulls you into his arms. You want to let go of him, but he’s strong, and you- actually wanting this for so long. You hate him, but you have feelings for him. You can’t help but stay on his embrace.

And then... There it is, the feels. It comes back, the way you hide yourself from Yeri whenever you pick up his calls, or maybe the late night drive to nearby McDonalds, or maybe flirting through the notes you pass during class, or maybe the first kiss you shared with him in front of your sorority house, and ended up being scolded by Yeri and Joy.

You realized that it was a stupid crush with the stupid playboy Na Jaemin, but you enjoyed your time with him. You remembered how he likes to send you goodnight selfies, or maybe the way he pouts a lot when driving. Those 3 months of on-and-off-unofficial-relationships with him, is actually making you feel things.

“Y/n, I know I don’t deserve you, but really.. This time, I mean it. I promise, I won’t mess around. Please, I know I’ve been such a dick, but if you just give me one more chance, y/n.. But I completely understand, if you hate me, and you probably want to slam me to death, and I will allow you-”

You look up to him and grabbed his face, crashing his lips into yours. He tastes like cherry soda, with a hint of cigarettes. He seems like enjoying the kiss, he cupped your cheeks as he deepened the kiss. You can feel his hands travel around your body, only to land in your hips.

You want to trust him this time. He promised you. He meant it. He will take care of you. And you trust him, this time.

“Alright, busy boy. I do want to slam you, though... But remember, just because you’re so damn fine, I won’t even think twice to dump your ass if you act up.” you warn him.

The tears you shed just bloomed into giggles and smiles. The inconsistency between the 3 months before finally disappeared, and reborn again into a new promise.

He nods. “Believe me baby, you’re the one who wants to be slammed right now.” he teases you, glancing to his bed. You can feel your cheeks reddening again, you lightly hit him, and he laughs. He’s a cheeky boy.

“Busy boy, huh?” he giggles, “Your busy boy.”

The anger within you is released now. No more chasing around like a fool, no more getting late replies from Jaemin, no more nights of hoping that he’d reply, because he’s only busy for you now.

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softzhongli · 3 years ago

Text

summary: a closer look at the most exclusive group chat in all teyvat. we have two oblivious idiots in love, two horny bastards afraid of their feelings, a grumpy cat and his sunshine boyfriend and one very single and tired girl... among many many others warnings: swearing, probably some angst info: crack fic, multi-chaptered, social media au, not much difference they just have phones lmao pairings: childe x kaeya // xiao x venti // zhongli x diluc + lumine and other characters requests: open posted: 11/02/2022 a/n: i think from this chapter on this i’m switching zhongluc for chaeya as the main couple. i might change it again in the future but for now this is chaeya-centric fic with xiaoven and zhongluc in the background lmao also another half-chat half-written chapter because childe has an existential crisis over his feelings for kaeya lol

PREV II MASTERLIST II NEXT

CHAT: # B L O C K E D ⮡ members: childe / scaramouche

childe: scara 🥺

childe: @scara

childe: scarascarascara

childe: scara, c’mon

childe: you’re literally the only person i can talk about this rn

childe: @scara

scara: wtf

scara: i blocked you

childe: yeah, well... i have my ways

childe: also i’m kind of desperate

scara: i like the sound of that

childe: S I G H

childe: help me

scara: why?

childe: what do you mean why????

childe: we’re friends!

scara: lol

scara: no, we’re not

scara: i blocked you like a year ago

childe: idc

childe: we’re friends

childe: you can’t change my mind

childe: now stfu

childe: listen

childe: and help me

scara: sure, if it means you’ll go away

childe: 😘🖤

scara: so?

childe: i think kaeya has feelings for lumine

childe: or like there’s something between them

scara: i have literally no idea who are you talking about

childe: you literally fought lumine?????

scara: nah

childe: nah??? what??? it happened???

scara: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

scara: whatever so who’s kayea? new chick?

childe: asdfghjkl

childe: he’s a guy

childe: a super hot and sexy guy i’m sleeping with

scara: so you’re in love with him?

childe: where did you get that from?

scara: they’re looking for a new clown in the circus you should apply

childe: ???

child: i just said we’re sleeping together

scara: childe’s last braincell left the chat, i guess

childe: 😶

scara: stop playing dumb or i’m gone

childe: no! c’mon!

scara: i’ll ask this only once

scara: you in love with this kaeya dude?

childe: ...

scara: idc if you’re not ready to admit it to yourself or some shit

scara: answer the question

“No. Of course not.” Childe furrowed his brows and with a frown of his face, shaking his face as if the question Scaramouche just asked him was the most absurd thig he has ever heard.

But then, why couldn’t he just simply answer the question? Why typing those two letters was making his heart beat and hands sweat - and not in the good way. Something deep inside him paralyzed him completely just thinking about sending the word.

“Am I-” He cut himself off before he could voice the rest of his sentence. It was foolish. How could he even think that way? They both agreed, all those months back, that it would be purely physical. It was obvious they were attracted to each other. Just catching each other mid-stare or bluntly flirting whenever they were in the same room. So when, one night, they drank too much wine in Diluc’s bar - much to Diluc’s dismay, it wasn't even surprising when they ended up in Kaeya’s bedroom and had sex. What was surprising was how natural and how good it felt. Childe was sure he was the only one feeling like this but then the next morning he woke up with Kaeya by his side and it actually scared him how right everything that happed seemed to him. And then Kaeya said he basically felt the same and proposed the no strings attached kinda relationship.

It was perfect.

Neither him nor Kaeya really wanted a relationship. And the sex was so good Childe would be insane to say no to that handsome face. So he agreed of course. And it was incredible. But nothing stays the same and even though the changes weren’t bad he never really thought about how their dynamic changed in just a few months.

At first it was just purely sexual. They’d fuck, tease, joke around and nothing more but then, somehow, depending where they met, they would linger in bed together. Sometimes not saying anything and sometimes talking literally for hours. And then they they were touching more. Not the same touch when they were in the middle of having sex, more casual, natural for them - a little slap or squeeze of the butt, a hand on the thigh in a teasing manner, knees touching when they were sitting close. And after that they were suddenly hugging like it was the most normal thing for them. No matter if they’re in the middle of the street or with friends or if it’s just the two of them. It all just... happened. And now they were calling each other pet names more often than their own names, kissing while walking through the city, holding hands any time it was possible. Sometimes Childe would even feel cold when Kaeya had to let go of his hand for a minute.

What surprised him the most, almost knocking all the air out of him when he realised it was how now most of the time they weren’t even having sex when they were together. And it wasn’t a problem. In fact, it was the opposite. They were having so much fun together doing anything. Childe was so happy just hanging out with Kaeya...

It was ridiculous.

And every single one of their friends was teasing them about how much they look and behave like a married couple and for the love of everything holy they both would blush every time before teasing each other about it.

Childe had to sit down because he didn’t trust his own legs to keep him standing anymore. All of those feelings and realizations just burying him under their weight. He could feel the wooden door of someone’s home on his back and without thinking just slid down to the ground. It was so much to process, so many overwhelming emotions.

How could he be so stupid? So blind to his own feeling for all this time? Of course everything his friends were saying about him was true. Even a child would be able to figure it out. So why? Why? Why did it took him this long-

“Childe?” A familiar voice pulled him out of his own head. “You okay?” Lumine was crouching in front of him, visibly worried.

He completely forgot she was travelling to Liyue with Diluc. And Childe figured out Diluc was probably already with Zhongli seeing as Lumine was alone here. Even Paimon wasn’t with her right now.

Ah. Lumine. The same Lumine he fought. The same Lumine he loved to jokingly flirt with sometimes, to get under her skin. The same Lumine who might be in love with Kaeya. The same Lumine who might take Kaeya away from him.

He knew he shouldn’t think like that. She always seemed to support both of them and whatever they had going on between them. But he couldn’t help the sudden jealousy. It was reasonable for Kaeya and Lumine to have a good relationship. She met him earlier and if Childe was honest with himself it was thanks to her he even met Kaeya so if anything he should be grateful.

“Childe?” She asked again, after he groaned in realization. Probably worrying her even more.

“I’m in love with Kaeya.” He suddenly said before he even had the chance to think about it. His hand covered his mouth right away, his eyes widened in surprise.

“Well. Congratulations.” Lumine laughed cheerfully. “Took you long enough.” She wasn’t even trying to hide how funny the situation was for her.

CHAT: HOTTEST BITCHES 👉🏻👌🏻 ⮡ members: lumine / venti / xiao

lumine: VENTI

lumine: WE GOT ONE

lumine: 😎😈🤩

lumine: OPERATION: CHAEYA IS A GO!

#genshin impact #childe x kaeya #xiao x venti #zhongli x diluc #genshin fanfic #chaeya #xiaoven #zhongluc #kinga writes #groupchat.doc

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ellie-s-list · 4 years ago

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Dazai Osamu x Reader, "Look, I'm Easy." PT2

TW: ANXIETY

Recap:

“Aren’t you going home for Thanksgiving tomorrow?”

You groan, throwing your head back on the couch. Your hands cover your eyes, trying to figure out how to solve your problem. But, in the end, there was virtually nothing you could do. You’ve lived this shitty lie of your own doing for three years now. And in just twenty-four hours, it will be your undoing.

That’s when Dazai pipes up, his cheerful tone now gone. He was being serious, his voice low and quiet as he said, “I can pretend to be your fiance for Thanksgiving break.”

Slowly, you lift your hands slightly over your eyes. Dazai wasn’t looking at you. Instead, he was picking at his fingers.

“I mean,” Dazai continued, “It was me texting you asking for your homework three years ago that got us into this mess.”

“Us?”

Blinking, Dazai realized what he said. He waited and then frowned, “Did you even think about what I said?”

You covered your eyes once again, hoping the palms of your hands covered your blush. Sighing, you answer, “We’re gonna need a ring and you need to pack for a week-long trip, tonight.”

Dazai hummed, “We can just say that the ring is in the shop getting resized? Maybe I just proposed last night?”

You nodded, letting your hands fall. Gripping Dazai’s legs, you ask, “Are you sure about this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Later that night, at like seven, Dazai left to go pack. He said he might show up at six so you two could leave for your mother’s house together, or he’ll come back later that night. Either way, you were anxious. You’ve always wanted Dazai as your boyfriend, and yet, now that you can live your fantasy out, it didn’t feel right.

You should feel excited, Dazai was going to treat you like a partner. Though, as you sat on your couch, having a mild existential crisis, you felt greedy. Guilt also pooled in your stomach, causing you to feel sick.

Your phone bussed and you leaned forward to grab it from the coffee table. Clicking the on button, it recognized your face and unlocked, showing your notifications. There was a message from your mom.

Mother <3

Are you bringing your fiance tomorrow? You also never told us their name! Date a person for three years and we don’t know their name!

You quickly type a response.

Yes, he’s coming. His name is Dazai Osamu.

Mother <3

Dazai? I remember you spoke of him

I thought he was just a friend? Me

No, he’s my fiance. I just didn’t know How to tell you it was him.

Mother <3

I’m a little disappointed, but as long as

He’s good to you and you’re happy.

I love you.

I love you too.

After sending the text you groan. Scrolling through twitter seemed to always calm you down, but reading Tubbo’s old tweets didn’t quell the racing of your heart. Instead, you get up and start pacing.

It was about ten minutes before a knock on your door stopped you right in your tracks. Before you could open it, the door was slammed open.

Standing in the doorway was your resident red-head, Chuuya Nakahara.

(Didn’t put how many words, but it’s like 500)

#MCYT #If you could consider it #just tad reference #I did fuck around and post it #dzazai #dazai #dazai x reader #bsd #Bungo Stray dogs #Chuuya #He doesn't make that huge of an appearance #but he will in like th next part #dazai x gn reader #dazaiiiiii #dazai osamu

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e-one-seven · 4 years ago

Text

(I hate being a literature student. Just know that literature students have a bad habit of over-analyzing stuff, and apparently D&D games are not exceptions.)

Normally I don't talk about ships. I think that everybody is free to ship whoever character they want with who they want and I am no one to judge them. Especially if the characters in question are from a live role playing game and one of the ships in question involves a couple controlled by a couple who is married IRL. But this one. Oh boy. Laura Bailey is an absolute beast and she deserves all the respect in the world if even a fraction of what I think it's happening/going to happen will effectively happen in game.

Fjord kissed Jester. He asked for her permission and he got it. It was beautiful. And I am genuinely freaking out because I knew that was going to happen and it's even worse than I imagined it. Why am I talking about it like it is something bad? Because it's possible that Jester is not ready to be in a relationship right now, and that Jester herself is not aware of it. Let's talk about it from the beginning.

Jester likes Fjord from the beginning of the campaign, we all know that. When Jester met Fjord for the first time, she was a sheltered girl who, in her head, just met the perfect man: a proud and strong sailor who wants to live an adventurous life just like the heroes of her novels, and she easily identified herself as the heroine the hero will inevitably fall in love with. They meet the rest of the Nein, live on their adventures and Jester keeps on acting like she is the Guinevere of her personal love story inside her head, while Fjord is blissfully unaware of what is happening inside the skull of his new friend.

Then Fjord meets Avantika, a mature woman who seems to share many traits and interests with him. Jester is clearly jealous, especially after that they sleep together to seal their alliance. That is also the moment when Jester starts to see Fjord's flaws and she seems to be willing to accept them, which is actually a point in favor for a possible relationship between them. But Fjord is still unaware of what the special attention of the blue tiefling actually means.

Then she meets a real married couple, and she starts to realize that romance is not always like she imagined it was. Nott/Veth and Yeza are married and have a child, and they are not as dependent to each other like the heroes of her novels: Nott does her own things and she is a strong independent woman and Yeza is pretty much the same, they are not allowed to be as intimate as they used to be because of "Nott's condition", but they still love and support each other through and through. And at this point, Jester starts to notice that there is a member of the Mighty Nein that seems to show her that unconditional love and support that Nott and Yeza radiate with every action: Caleb Widogast.

Caleb used to be a stinky wizard, a brash individual who joined the group just because he was too squishy to survive on his own. But ever since they are in Xhorhas, he cleaned himself, he is kinder with everyone and he wants to help her organize the Traveler Con even if the event has nothing to do with him directly. Jester is visibly touched by his newfound beauty and kindness. But he still loves Astrid. He called Jester with her name when they danced together in Hupperdook. And he seems to be interested in Essek Thyless too, so she is probably imagining it. The Mighty Nein travel, grow more powerful, and Fjord manages to set himself free from Uk'utoa's influence and becomes a Paladin of the Wildmother. He finally becomes more similar to the hero Jester imagined he was when he met him for the first time, but she seems to be only minimally bothered by his change. She needs time to think because she feels that something is changing inside her. Fjord might not be the right one after all. Caleb is always there for here with all his support, and she starts to want to be there for him.

Eventually, they stop the war, they defeat a fire god and Caleb sets up wonderful magic and illusions so that the Traveler Con is a success. But then, during the last night of the gathering, something happens and Sehanine, the Moonweaver herself is angry. She is taking Artagan away, and Jester is willing to follow him in the Feywild and share his punishment... but Fjord grabs her and begs her not to go. She has still the Mighty Nein, she has still him. For the first time Fjord is being explicit about his feelings for her. Luckily everything goes well and the Mighty Nein are free to come back to Wildemount... Where she finds out about Caleb's past and his intent to save his friend Eadwulf and his former lover Astrid from Trent Ikithon. They go dance again, Caleb pushes her in Fjord's arms, and the half-orc gives her a present. There is definitely something. But there is Caleb too, but he is too busy trying to deal with his demons to pay attention to her.

Jester meets Astrid and she antagonizes her. She is jealous, she thinks that Astrid is Caleb's ideal woman and she realizes they are not alike at all. She is a talented and ambitious wizard, while she is just Jester, the cleric of an Archfey. Astrid is just like Essek, and Caleb is attracted by Essek. Jester understands if Caleb doesn't like her after all: why should he be interested into a childish cleric whose power is not even her own? They are just very good friends. That's all. He should be back with Astrid and she will support him if that will happen once that she will be free from Trent Ikithon's influence. But Caleb is still so kind, and loving, and supportive... she is really confused about it. But he is kind and loving with all of his friends, so in the end it might not be important.

And then, there is Eiselcross with its weird ancient magic. A magic as dangerous as the one they found in the Happy Fun Ball, which contained a Blue Dragon and a trap that managed to kill Nott without them being able to prevent it. Everything is dangerous and the Mighty Nein realize as the time passes by that not everyone of them could get out of there alive, especially given what and who they are trying to stop. And Jester herself falls into a trap: she is given a vision that confirms to the Mighty Nein that what they feared is true, that the Tomb Takers' objective is to bring an eldritch floating city scary enough to cause a Morkoth into voluntary exile back to Exandria, where it intends to absorb its inhabitants into its hive mind. The price to pay for the vision are 5 years of her life. "Growing old" is different than "growing up", and it happens to her in a matter of seconds. Jester is five years closer to death now, and it is possible that she is lucky they are just five. The minor changes in her appearance are a reminder of what it could have happened if she wasn't lucky, and she has no idea about what else changed about herself and what will change in her personal life and relationships because of that accident. All she knows right now is that these might be her last days alive and she is afraid she might be missing something before her untimely death.

(And she would not be silly to think about it. After all, who they are facing is reminding all of the Mighty Nein that even if they are becoming powerful they are still mortal beings.)

And when she is in the middle of a mild existential crisis and confusion reigns inside her head, Fjord declares. And Jester, still willing to believe that she is her old self, the young woman who left Nicodronas and miraculously met the man of her dreams that will lead her to live an exciting life full of love and adventures, accepts to kiss him. It is very likely that she was not thinking about anything in that moment, but one thing: "If I say yes to Fjord it means that I am still me, right? It is happening because it was supposed to happen from the beginning, because we were supposed to be together."

There is just one little problem: Jester is ignoring the fact that she has changed from the person she used to be back then, and it did not happen because a group of stone statues magically aged her up. There is still something for Fjord, she will never forget him as he is and he will always be her first love. But she has some feelings for Caleb too, and even if she is "a good liar" they might be too strong for her to simply ignoring them. After all, Caleb "I was trained to lie and kill for the Empire" Widogast did an excellent job when he was trying to hide them. There are some clues here and there that hint that Jester might love Caleb as much as he loves her and that she wants him to be happy, even with other people... just like he wants it for her. Add the trauma she is just starting to deal with, and there is almost no way that her current relationship with Fjord is going to evolve into something healthy and angst free right now. This if that kiss was the effective beginning of a serious relationship, and not the promise of a future relationship between them if she will be still available.

But these are the vibes that the beginning of a relationship between them is giving to me right now, and nothing will be confirmed until Laura Bailey will show up to Talks Machina to talk about it. I am also curious about how she will react when she will see Essek again: when the stakes were not high she used to tease him to be with Caleb... but now she has met Astrid, she might have feelings for him and being in a relationship with another person, and Caleb states that he doesn't trust him. I guess that if she still does, it will be mostly an attempt to show to everyone that nothing changed for her and that she is fine (and that would be a huge step back into her character development, but it was her defense mechanism until the Rumblecusp arc and she is dealing with a lot of serious stuff all together right now).

I'm not saying that the ship is going to die: I'm saying that because of the circumstances behind how it was made official and the relationship between all the character involved, I would say that it is very likely that it will lead to some cute moments, but that it eventually won't last. This is especially true if it will confirmed that Jester has feelings for Caleb too, as feelings for another person are not easy to get rid off, and I am fully expecting Jester to angst and talk to someone about them at some point. She needs to achieve true clarity and accept that she is going to break someone's heart in order to be in a healthy, happy relationship. Because, let's face it, we all imagined Jester would have been much happier if she'd ever entered into a relationship, shouting about it out loud so that everyone know. There is something weird here. So, or either the kiss is a promise, or Jester's heart is not fully into it and this means trouble.

But yes, Laura Bailey promised us that she would have romanced Travis's character and she is doing it. And whatever it will be the final result, she is still a legend for having achieved the impossible once more.

PS: Obviously this post in the end means nothing, as no one owns and knows the full truth behind the intent of these characters but the actors who control them. I just wanted to give my two cents about the question. It's more likely that this development will prevent Jester to suffer from a mental breakdown in Eiselcross instead of causing her to suffer from one, but I tend to over-analyze stuff. Please forgive me for this.

PS2: As a final note, it would have been the same even if Caleb would have been in Fjord's place, if not even worse: I wrote a post about Caleb in Eiselcross too, and between him and Jester I have no idea of who is the most messed up at the moment. Poor children...

#critical role #character analysis #jester lavorre #fjord #caleb widogast #fjorester #widojest #angst everywhere #why did i even write this #i just want them to be happy #cr meta

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pterodactylterrace · 4 years ago

Text

Guys Like You Chapter 6

Title: Guys Like You

Chapter: 6

Chapter Summary: More of a filler chapter, not much Henry, I’m sorry.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, pregnancy, poor self image, bad coping mechanisms, low self esteem.

{Prologue} {Chapter 1} {Chapter 2} {Chapter 3} {Chapter 4} {Chapter 5}

"I already told you, Faye! I don't want anything to do with this!"

"So because I want to keep my babies, you're leaving me? Is that what you're trying to tell me, David?"

"Yes! Shit, I knew you were dumb, but seriously!"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you deaf too, whore? How do you even know I'm the one that knocked you up? You've slept with just about every guy in town!"

"Get the fuck out."

"Don't come crying to me later! You're nothing without me! No one is ever going to want you. Especially once you have kids. Who the hell wants used goods? Have fun living a life of regret!"

Faye jerked awake, her head spinning as she tried to catch her bearings. Did David really leave her just like that? Sure he wasn't the greatest, but he had never lashed out like that before. At least not where anyone else could witness it.

No. David's gone. He has been gone for almost four years now. New life. Starting over. It's all in the past now.

Have to get the baby up before the sitter comes. Work is coming up soon. Life goes on.

"Briar, what are you doing on the floor?" Faye chuckled, crouching down next to her daughter, curled up on her pillow by her bed.

"I'm a puppy." Briar yawned in explanation, holding her arms up to be lifted, promptly licking her mother's cheek as soon as she was up.

"Briar, we talked about licking people."

"I'm not Briar, I'm puppy."

"Ok then, puppy, no licking people. Now what do you want for breakfast?"

"Puppy food."

"Cereal it is."

Feed the toddler, quick shower, get dressed, throw her hair up away from her face, wait for the baby sitter, hugs and kisses goodbye, then off to work. The usual routine she had settled herself into.

Feed the baby, because she's hungry and she comes first.

Shower, because she probably has some sort of mystery goo on her from the toddler.

Get dressed, avoid the mirror. No one wants to be reminded of how much they've changed. The softness she wasn't used to around her lower stomach, hips and thighs. Her breasts no longer as perky as they used to be. The stretchmarks competing with her tattoo's for attention.

Then, the hardest part of the day. "Ok, Briar, Mrs. Anderson is here. Mommy has to go to work. I love you."

"I love you too, Mommy." Briar responded, hugging her mother tight and kissing her cheek before she was sat back down.

"Have a nice day, Miss Warren."

"I hope she's not too much to handle."

"Never is."

Some days, Faye likes to pretend she's ok. Like she has a handle on things. Like she knows what she's doing and not just blindly stumbling through her life while trying to do right by her daughter.

Other days, she would absently push her sleeves up and her eye would catch on the black lines decorating her forearm, just below her elbow. Some days she's reminded that life is a bitch, and you can't always get what you want. On those days she tried to stay out of her own head, though that rarely worked.

She could slap on a smile with the best of them, but she could never force it to reach her eyes. Her face always remained an open book, free for anyone to read. The past creeps up on you. There's nothing you can do to stop it some days. On a bad day, the ghosts of the past will haunt your mind, echoing the worst days of your life into the void of your shattered heart.

"No one is ever going to want you!"

"You're nothing without me!"

"Who wants used goods?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Warren. There was nothing we could do."

Over and over on a seemingly never ending loop, reminding her of the darkest times in her life.

Why would anyone want her? She's not the same hot twenty six year old she used to be. She was soft. She was saggy. She would never be as attractive as she used to be. Anyone in their right mind would turn around and run once they realized how much she had let herself go.

Days like today were best spent keeping people at a distance. Tell them some story about being tired. Avoid anyone that is going to call her out on her obvious lie. Therein lies the problem with dying your hair obnoxious colors. Among a sea of blonde and brunette, powder blue tends to stick out and make it almost impossible to vanish.

Lie your way out of it. Survive another day. Tomorrow might not be better, but at least it won't be the same.

"Mommy, you're back!" The sweetest sound she could hear all day.

"I always come back, my little love." Faye assured, kissing her daughter's head.

Need to care for the baby. She comes first. She deserves the world. Play time. Dinner time. Bath time. Story time. Bed time. The same after work routine she had established months ago when she decided to drop everything and run.

Her daughter thought the world of her. She would do anything to see her smile. She would wear the stupid costume. She would pretend to be a horsey. She would let her daughter use her as a jungle gym. She would make the same dinner again for the third night in a row for her. So what if she soaked the bathroom floor during bath time? She was a mermaid, and she wanted to show off her tail. Story time, always an adventure with her imaginative little girl. What world would they find themselves in today? Dinosaurs? Princesses? Mythology? A rhyming book?

Ah, yes of course. Her current favorite, the book about the dinosaur cleaning his room. She was a girl obsessed with dinosaurs at the moment.

"Mommy, where's my Papa?" Briar asked, staring intently down at the page depicting a mother and father watching the dinosaur throw away paper scraps.

"Don't worry about him, sweetheart. He wasn't a nice man." Faye explained, resting her cheek on her daughter's head.

"Can I have a new Papa?"

"Maybe someday, sweetheart."

"Can Spider-man be my new Papa?"

"Why do you want Spider-man to be your new Papa?"

"He's my boyfriend!"

"That's not how it works, silly. If he's your boyfriend, he can't also be by boyfriend! Pick another hero!"

"Batman!"

"Well, he is rich." Faye mused, Briar giggling happily. "Now it's time for bed, my love."

"Ok, Mommy. I love you!"

"I love you too, Briar." Faye whispered, kissing her forehead. The nightlight was switched on and the door was left cracked open, just in case. Now for her seldom used free time.

Should she sketch some more? Finish that painting she started forever ago? Ever since she started a "real" job, her art had fallen by the wayside. She was too drained to do much after work and caring of her daughter.

Maybe some drawing will lift her spirits and keep the nightmares at bay tonight. But what to draw? Not in the mood for still life. Brain too fried for something straight from her imagination. Her usual model was sleeping, and her last few self portraits had been a serious blow to her ego. She just drew what she saw in the mirror. Then, when she was finished, she decided she should have worn more clothing before she drew herself. What was supposed to boost her confidence and empower her as a woman instead left her wondering when exactly she developed that roll when sitting in that position.

"Fuck it. I'm drawing a moose." Faye grumbled to herself, turning the page from her self portrait to a blank sheet. Half an hour later when she was trying to remember what a moose's antlers looked like, she finally picked up her phone. Seven unread messages? That seems like a lot. When was the last time she looked at her phone? Oh yeah, when she got home, five hours ago.

All from one person. So she wasn't ignoring everyone at least. Seven messages, all from Henry. Shit. That's not good.

Are you ok?

You seemed off on set today

You didn't even talk to me

Did you at least make it home alright?

Can you send me a sign of life?

I'm sorry if I upset you or something. Can you please talk to me? I'm genuinely worried.

Please?

Well, fuck. Here she was playing unicorn apocalypse with her daughter, and this poor guy was worrying himself to death.

Sorry, I was drawing a moose

Perfect way of saying "I wasn't ignoring you" while also avoiding his persistent questions about her wellbeing. The good old 'drawing a moose' excuse. Works every time.

I think your moose aged me by ten years. Are you ok?

Just had a bad day

Anything I can do to help?

Squeeze me until I stop struggling and my spine snaps

That's called 'murder' Miss Warren

I knew there was a name for it

Is there anything I can do for you that involves less prison?

Nah, if you're not going to take me out, then I'm not interested

I'm not going to take you out by murder. I will take you out on a date.

Faye froze, staring at her phone. He was just playing around, like he always did. No way he was serious. Henry liked to flirt, and she wasn't about to throw herself at him over a joke. She had more dignity than that. So how does she respond? She can't just ignore him, and taking forever to respond is going to give the impression that she was freaking out over what he said.

She was completely freaking out over what he had said, but he didn't need to know that. Was he just looking to get laid or something? Probably. He had gotten pretty close the last time he had been over. There's a difference between dating and screwing, though. He was probably just looking for someone to fuck while waiting for a woman worth his time to come along. Faye was broken out of her thoughts by her phone going off again, alerting her to a new message. Didn't he know she was busy having an existential crisis?

If you're free on Sunday you can come over and show me that moose your working on

*you're

Smart ass

Sunday?

I'll have to see if Mrs. Anderson can watch Briar

Bring her along. She keeps asking me about Kal

Pretty on brand for her

Sunday?

Sunday.

Sunday. What to wear on Sunday? He was probably looking for a little something something for his time, so something slutty? She got rid of all her slutty clothes after she had Briar in a fit of self hatred toward her new mom bod, so that was out. Besides, he wouldn't have invited Briar over too if he was looking to get laid.

So what does one wear on a casual 'date' these days? She had until Sunday to figure that out.

Tag List: @Xxxkatxo @Weallhaveadestiny

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #guys like you #guys like you fic #triggering themes

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this-is-my-procrastination · 4 years ago

Note

hi!! i liked your works a lot and i wanted to request f, j and o for akaashi and atsumu? thanks a lot <33

fluff alphabet f, j, and o for akaashi keiji and miya atsumu

a/n: ahh i hope these aren’t too long haha, thank you so much for requesting!! :))

Akaashi Keiji:

F = Feelings (When did they realize their feelings? How did it change their behavior towards you?)

Akaashi quietly observes you for a while

Your little tics and reactive expressions ingrain themselves into his brain until he can close his eyes and picture your face almost perfectly

You’re studying together one day, and it starts off with the standard frequent side glances and an endearing awkwardness

But at some point, he feels himself leaning towards you subconsciously

Not in an obvious way, Akaashi just suddenly felt the urge to scootch closer to you or maybe to brush away that stray piece of your hair that had come undone

He immediately jerks himself back with a mildly troubled look on his face (on the inside this man is having a whole-ass existential crisis)

You tilt your head as you glance at him, and that’s when he knows

Akaashi’s already familiar with your different expressions of annoyance, sadness, happiness, etc., but your face right now was so innocent and clueless and cute and precious - he just felt an overwhelming urge to tell you about all the warm, helpless feelings you give him

He doesn’t, of course, because Akaashi at least tries to plan these things out

His realization doesn’t change his behavior a lot (he’s as sarcastic, chill, and straightfoward as always), but he does start doting on you more

He asks if you got enough sleep last night, sometimes offers to share his lunch with you, even gives you his jacket when you were shivering a little

Pure boi just wants to take care of you; it makes him feel more connected and might just be how he hints at his feelings to you

J = Jealousy (What makes them jealous? How do they deal with jealousy?)

Normally a pretty chill dude that you wouldn’t think ever gets jealous

It’s true that Akaashi definitely has complete faith in you and knows you can handle yourself

He also tends to internalize when it comes to feelings like jealousy because he knows they’re not rational

But that still doesn’t stop him from paying extra attention when you’re talking to other guys

Frowning, he monitors your situation from a distance. You might think he’s not paying attention, but the moment he sees signs that you’re uncomfortable or that the other person is getting too comfortable with touching you, he intervenes

Akaashi’s got skills galore at interjecting himself into conversations, and now he’s calling upon all of them plus his passive aggresive expertise

“(Name), please introduce me to this person. As your boyfriend, I’d really like to know who your acquaintances are.”

Narrows his eyes at the other person when he says “acquaintance”

Highkey throwing all the shade right then, but even after you introduce him, he subtly ends the conversation and pulls you away (after which he feels much more relaxed and comfortable)

Basically admits it if you tease him for being jealous

“Yeah, I was. Is there a problem with me feeling protective of you, love?”

O = Over (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If Akaashi at any point liked you enough to be in a relationship with you, he will hold that respect for you forever

Even if you made a mistake, he’ll continue to believe that you deserve a least an in-person meeting before breaking up

He thinks it over a lot before making the decision to break it off

This isn’t something he’d ever take lightly, and he’d use at least a good week to process and think about any alternatives

If there’s truly no other way, he’ll text you to meet him somewhere private, like a small cafe or secluded park

Akaashi tells you his intentions as soon as you arrive; there’s no point in dragging this out and hurting the both of you further

He’s very solemn as he tries to explain, and he tries to state his reasons as clearly as possible, but his mind is a whirlwind at that moment

Respectfully leaves after a few minutes, but when he gets to the car he can feel his eyes watering and hands shaking

Bokuto helps him a lot by keeping him active and engaged with his surroundings, but Akaashi can’t help but lie awake at night thinking about you

It’ll take him at least two or three weeks to start moving on in life, but he’ll always look back on the good times you two shared fondly

Atsumu Miya:

F = Feelings (When did they realize their feelings? How did it change their behavior towards you?)

I think his feelings will hit him all of a sudden

He’ll catch himself at home wondering what you’re doing at that moment

And Atsumu starts realizing that he thinks about you more than himself

He’s not used to thinking about anyone that’s not himself, his spikers, or (occasionally) Osamu

So maybe he sees you struggling with something and, after teasing you a little, he helps you

And when you thank him with a sweet smile, he actually feels himself blush

All he can think is just “oh hell no i cannot be a simp right now”

After that incident, Atsumu might avoid you for a bit (he sees you in the hallway and literally spins on his heel, running into the nearest room to keep cool)

But his sets are noticeably less focused than normal, and Osamu forces Atsumu to man up and talk to you

He becomes a little more conscious of what he says to you. You notice that his mocking insults are almost fond sounding now and that he backs off a lot quicker if he sees he hit something sensitive

He tells himself that it’ll help you feel the same way

Because if being more sensitive to your feelings could make you fall as hard for him as he did for you, then that’s what he’ll do

J = Jealousy (What makes them jealous? How do they deal with jealousy?)

He’s used to getting what he wants, and when you’re not paying attention to him, he’s not

Cue pouty Atsumu

It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, he just doesn’t like anyone other than him looking at you like that

Feels protective because he knows how amazing you are and how much you tempt him (and if he’s that affected by you, who knows what other people could be thinking about you?)

Like one time, he sees you talking with Osamu, and you have the brightest smile on your face that he absolutely adores... but it’s not directed at him

Clenching his jaw, he immediately storms up to you both and snakes his arms tightly around your body from behind

“Babee, pay attention to me...” Atsumu directs a withering glare at his twin, “‘Samu, get outta here!”

If he feels threatened because a stranger is talking to you, he’ll be less kind (he might get triggered because you started blushing or maybe there was some kind of physical touch involved, which can be as minor as a touch to the shoulder, but Atsumu is not about it)

Straight up stalks over to you both, placing an arm aggresively over your shoulder

“Hey, who’s this?? Actually nahh, it doesn’t matter because he’s insignificant~ C’mere babe, let’s go. Bye now, stranger!”

O = Over (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Hm... Atsumu might send a break-up text idk :p

But more likely he’ll give you a call

I just feel like he might be too emotional to do it in person

Depending on his reasons, maybe he’s scared that he might snap at you and leave you feeling like trash (because no matter what the reasons are, he never wants to lash out at you like that)

So he sends a warning text like “we have to talk about something serious” and then call so he can at least break the news with his own voice

Atsumu’s words might come off nonchalant and almost harsh, but it’s accidental; it’s kind of a defense mechanism

He doesn’t want to hurt you, but he’s also so close to a mental breakdown that he can’t figure out how to break things off earnestly without becoming a crying, blubbering mess

So his words can seem cold, especially when you’re in such a fragile emotional state

But he stays on the line with you for as long as you need, silent as you express your emotions as freely as you want

But if you cry a lot, or your voice is really shaky, this man probably starts tearing up along with you

Just a mutual crying fest by the end, but Atsumu’s still not the type to change his mind unfortunately

He would’ve had to believe his reasons 100% to think about breaking things off with you

Still, he’s depressed and grumpy for the couple weeks after

Gets a little (read: a lot) bitter if someone happens to mention you

Volleyball helps him immensely during this time

He throws himself into improving his setting and techniques, rep after rep

Atsumu tries to avoid all thoughts related to you because they never fail to make his chest hurt

In the end, he knows it was his own decision so he tries hard to move on

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alice-in-wonderart · 4 years ago

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I really like your writing and i was hoping you could do what you did with lxc jgy and nhs and i was wondering if you could do that with the juniors thx

OHMYGOSH, so many people are requesting UWU. ❤️ When I said the Juniors get the most love around here, I wasn't joking! (which of course is great, our lovely boys deserve the love) A day after making a post about having 3 similar asks, appeared a wild 4th one, so here we are, killing 4 birds with one stone! From what I recall, the boys are 16 (legal in my country) but for the sake of being politically accurate and tastefully uncreepy, I'll still age them up ~ This was quite difficult to write, since I'd never even so much as considered writing anything remotely un-soft for the boys, but I hope you ike it anyways. Somehow the softest hcs turned out to be for XXC too 🤣

Enjoy the spice, my lovelies! ❤️

P.S. Thank you all for being so kind, you guys make writing a true pleasure ✌️

P.P.S I know it took me forever to write this! i want to apologise for that, since university started, writing has become a luxury and quite frankly, writing nsfw for the juniors was nearly impossible to do 😵 Await more content in the *hopefully* near future.

Jin Ling

My gosh, getting him to undress would be difficult. For real, even after a thousand years of being in a relationship with you, he'd still be embarrassed when it comes to physical touch of any sort. Not to say he wouldn't want it, he just has to go through a semi-tsundere mini meltdown first. But worry not, it would only take him a minute to get over it.

Jin Ling? More like Jin Long. (I'm sorry) He may not be the girthiest of them all, but let me tell you - he takes great pride in his length.

He may act tough and macho, but underneath all that hot-headedness is somebody, who absolutely loves being coddled. More often than not, he'd let you take over the reigns, but believe me he won't go down without a fight. He is the absolute dictionary definition of a bratty bottom. In fact he the brattiest bottom. You want him to undress? Undress him yourself if you're so eager. But in reality, he'd be ready to indulge you in absolutely everything you wish.

Jin Ling is a sucker for praise. Tell him how good he is, praise him and he'll become putty in your hands. There's nothing he loves more than hearing you moan his name out in utter bliss. Knowing he's the one who brings you so much pleasure really strokes his ego, so to say.With Jin Ling, gentle gestures and kind words can get you very far.

He gets surprisingly dominant and demanding when jealous. The one sure way to get him to pound you into the mattress is making him jealous. It really only takes a random unsuspecting boy to chat you up the wrong way and you'd be in for the dicking of a lifetime. (as an aftermath, following a metric ton of complaining and passive agressive anger) He would absolutely mark up your skin as well - a precaution.

Sometimes, he might MIGHT get jealous of the other Juniors. Maybe you'd spent more time with them, or payed them more attention. Sometimes he'd be at work and miss out. Then, you'd have to remind him, that no matter what, only he gets to see you sprawled on his bed, his name on your lips, and tje sweet smell of sex in the air.

Speaking of work, you would be his best stress relief. After a long day of boring sect business, returning home and getting to ravish you would be his ideal evening, although he would never admit it. During those moments, where exhaustion would get the best of both of you, yet sleep would not come, passionate night of lovemaking would be the remedy for all your problems. And with those burning emotions in his heart, such nights would be the most memorable.

Lan Sizhui

You'd think Lan Sizhui would be the purest, most innocent of the Juniors, and you wouldn't be wrong, but at the same time you wouldn't be right either. Overtime, he'd transform from this sweet, gentle lover, who always makes sure you finish first, to this super experimental, utterly intoxicating beaST, who still makes sure you finish first. The more he gets accustomed to your body, the more confident and daring he'd become.

He's been pretty touch-starved for most of his life, so getting intimate with you would take some readjustment from him. Every single touch would excite him, every gentle moan would make his heart melt. And this sensitivity of his would, in turn, seek intimacy even more. He'd want nothing more than to hold you close and make you shiver in delight, to hear his name escape your lips and have you all to himself.

He'd be absolutely willing to experiment. Anything you'd want to try, he'd love to try with you. Here is a good time to say, he's also a pretty versatile switch. Whether you'd want to set your own pace and ride him to oblivion, or let him tie you up and make you see stars all depends on your mood. He loves it all and is a natural in both.

In fact, having you tied up with his ribbon (seems it runs in the family) is one of his favourite sights. To him it is so beautiful and delicate, yet at the same time it's his way of being possessive, of showing the world that you are his lover, that you belong to each other.

This boy has STAMINA. We all know the Lans are a force to be reckoned with, that underneath that sophisticated demeanor, polite gestures and snow white robes there is pure strength, acquired over years of training. That strength allows Sizhui to last for ROUNDS. If you're lucky enough (and away from Gusu) he could go nearly all night long with little effort.

One thing you found out completely by accident was his love for bitemarks..on himself. As long as he could hide them with ease, the moment he feels teeth on his skin, it's game over. And he wouldn't verbally admit it, but the sounds he'd make and how he'd move to give you more access to his skin is a perfect enough sign.

He isn't too rough per se and would much prefer lovemaking over straight up fucking, so quickies aren't all that common. He wants to take his time with you and explore your body. He'd nearly always rather wait until the bed at home is an option.

In general, sex with a Lan is like sex with an elf - beautiful, breathtaking, memorable. Lan Sizhui is no exception, though he'd go to great lengths for you. After all, there's nothing better than seeing you fucked out, drowning in pleasure.

Lan Jingyi

This boy, my gosh, this boy. Out of all the Juniors, this boy is the most dominant one. And when I say dominant, I mean he is the only one, who comes with all the jazz - bondage, teasing, roleplay, you name it - he'll do it. He is lowkey the kinkiest, who'll do nearly anything just to get you off. And honestly, he takes great pride in that.

His sex drive is that of a goddamn rabbit. There is rarely a moment he wouldn't want to be buried between your legs. His motto is "the more the wetter better". For that reason, being away from you for long is his worst nightmare. Not being able to hold you? To kiss you? To make love to you? Blasphemous. So, the moment you two see each other, after some time of being away, he'd be all over you. Of course, sex is far from being the only thing on his mind, but it it's a giant plus, which he wouldn't want to miss.

Lan Jingyi is a sucker for legs, no matter what length, especially thighs. He loves feeling you wrap your legs around him, or squeeze his head between your thighs. He is a firm believer, that this is the best way to go. Nine times out of ten, whenever you two are making out, his hands would be all over your legs. He just can't help himself.

Out of all the juniors, since he is the most experimental, so with some coaxing he might agree to a threesome. Of course, that would be much later in your relationship, when your mutual trust is hard as a rock. (and not only that) Though, he'd want to pick the 3rd person involved! (most likely Sizhui)

He would absolutely introduce food in bed. Actually, that would happen completely accidentally. It would all start with a handful of loquats, which you'd bring to him while away on a trip together. You'd feed each other the lush fruits between heated kisses, enjoying each other's company and he'd realize, that he could combine 2 of his favourite things - you and food. From that moment on, he'd try out all kinds of food - from sweet to salty, deserts, fruits and everything in between.

He would absolutely want to get you off somewhere in Gusu. The very idea of doing something so dirty and profane at a place with so many strict rules would turn him on to no end. And the thrill of potentially getting caught would be like a catalyst to him. The library pavillion? The cold springs? Just let it be in Gusu. His own chambers just aren't satisfying enough, they aren't risky enough.

He would quickly get addicted to you and your body, and when that happens - there is just no going back. Though I doubt you'd want to.

Ouyang Zizhen

Ouyang Zizhen is quite the catch through and through. There is nobody quite as cheeky as this man right here. As the proud, versatile, daredevil-esque boy that he is, he would love to tease the everloving god out of you in every single way possible. But the moment you tease him back, he'd be in shambles. He would totally sneak inappropriate touches whenever in public, but run a hand up his leg under the table while having dinner, or perhaps a friendly get-together, and suddenly his cheeks would go beet red and he'd go through a mini existential crisis.

Your long, heated nights together would become his reckoning. He'd never truly admit it, but goddamn, he'd become so addicted, to the feeling, the excitement. Especially when it comes to having sex in public.

Speaking of, while he wouldn't openly talk about your adventures in bed, he'd absolutely drop little hints about it in piblic, whenever you're freshly fucked and easy to tease. Intentionally letting himself look more disheveled than usual, pointing out any "little marks" showing on your skin and of course - that knowing smirk of his. And believe me, he fully expects payback.

The other member who might, MIGHT agree to a threesome would be Ouyang Zizhen. He is a curious man, who would like to try anything you have to offer, though jealousy could be a side effect. He'd want to have a say in who'd be the 3rd person. And while having two women succumb to his every beg and call is a very well-hidden desire of his, at this point he is so invested and in love with you, that such thoughts are out of the question.

The one thing that gets him riled up in bed is wax play. What started as "lighting a candle to set the mood right" ended up being one of the most passionate, lust-ridden, nights of his life. He loves how wax drips down on your skin, peeling off of your every curve. He'd get different kinds of candles, with all kinds of fancy textures amd smells, just to watch the expensive wax drip all over you.

Teasing is his go-to. He is a master of teasing. And his specialty is edging. He could prolong your orgasm, get you to practically beg for release, all while he's hard as a rock and still keep edging you. And his mouth is his secret weapon.

He'd learn how to play your body like a violin, all to leave you begging for more. He could go on for hours. And he would. Because of that, the orgasms would be godly. And he takes great pride in that as well.

Xiao Xingchen

This man is the dictionary definition of soft. His kisses are sweet, his touches are caring and his sex is phenomenally passionate. Intimacy is important to him, since he hasn't had the chance and desire to reveal himself before many people. (except you, that is.) No, he isn't just a soft lover. He is THE soft lover.

He is the king of love-making. To him, your pleasure comes first and there is nothing he loves more, than to hold you close and feel your body on his.

He generally prefers to bottom and leave the reigns in your hands, so he could just hold you close and enjoy your body to its fullest, but occasionally he'd absolutely be down to switch it up and spend hours loving you deep into the night. (his words, not mine) Knowing you are there, on top of him, riding him into oblivion, he'd almost wish he could see you. But then, he'd run his hands down your body, hear your angelic voice and immediately lose his mind into pleasure once more.

Lovemaking is his absolute specialty and gentle passion is HIGHKEY his forté. Each sweet touch of his, every choked breath, every heated kiss is so full of love and desire, you could drown in it. He wears his heart on his sleeve and whenever you end up tangled in the sheets, he pours all of his emotions into bringing you ecstasy.

He is extremely touchy, since that is his way of seeing you. He loves to just glide his hands over your smooth skin, exploring every curve, enjoying the warmth of your body against his. His fingers are long and nimble, so he uses them to his advantage. And somehow, every time he touches you, he finds something new to love about you. Because of that, being tied up is a little specific with him. He would let you do it, but only occasionally, since that would leave him completely at your mercy WITHOUT being able to feel you.

He is absolutely a fan of boobs. Big, small, size has never mattered. He loves the warmth, the softness and the fact, that whenever he lays his head on your chest, he can hear your heartbeat.

Whisper in his ear amd he's a second away from breaking. Moan his name and he's a goner. His ears are pretty sensitive, so hearing your voice and feeling your breath would turn him rock hard in record time. Call it a voice kink, call it obsession, whatever it is, it's the surest way to make him nearly beg for your touch.

Xiao Xingxhen is a gentle, yet madly passionate lover, who is ready to give you the stars. And once you get undressed for the first time, he'd find himself so utterly in love with you, he'd get nearly obsessed. And while extremities are not his thing, it wouldn't be uncommon for him to gently lead you away to your shared bed, whenever out on a stroll, just to undress you and kiss your breath away.

Thank you for reading~

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