#i messed up the sign though!
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Just some Strawpage sketch requests I took over on Bluesky. Requests are closed, but who knows when I'll open them again~
(the last one was through bsky itself. The person didn't mind being public!)
#azumanga daioh#go princess precure#tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna#she loves to cook and she loves to eat#sakaki#chiyo mihama#minami kaido#i don't normally tag the characters of tsukutabe but the request makes it obvious who it is lol#i messed up the sign though!#all that time i spent making sure the words were correct and i forgot the little red border line-things oops#tsukutabe comicverse#sketch#fan art#requests
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I LOVE THEM SO MUCH OMG 🥺💗💗
#rajbow#raj x bowie#td 2023#total drama#td bowie#td raj#lil bit obsessed with them!!!#not only the first canon gay couple of the show#but also the first healthy one /j IM JOKING ITS A JOKE I now theres like a few but you get what Im saying? Yeah#second season dont mess them up challenge 🤞🤞🤞 (Impossible)#anyways I want to draw them more cuz I want to see more of them and sometimes you gotta do that yourself#well see though since Im busy but ye!#also I think I messed up Raj arm? I had the worst time getting his proportions right dear goodness :')#its a sign I should practice drawing them more fs!#rajbow fanart
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"Louis acting like a pimp to Armand" And what is a pimp exactly? Quickly. And, oh so sexual trauma survivors can't engage in kink now without it being all about that? Pet names? They can't be submissive anymore? Consensually? Sexually healthy? Be serious. I'd hardly say there's much power difference between them during all this anyway, except that Louis is freer than Armand and it's been putting a strain on their relationship. Louis wants more from Armand, and less of this 'being his past' for them both, and so helping Armand with this could fix that. It's healthy to want to help your partners get out of a rough patch?
I mean, the whole exchange was very clearly set up as a "I want to help you" after such a great moment of vulnerability Louis feels just how much Armand is desperate for it. Louis called Armand so they could work out a plan together.
And the bit with the umbrella was Louis' way of asking 'are you willing to listen to me?' and Armand said yes by unfolding it. Louis goes on and explains, Armand is allowed to argue against it, but Louis makes his point. And then he gives Armand a way to make his own choice in it too. Armand's already decided 'I want you, more than anything else in the world', but Louis still asks after if he's sure of his choice, and with a name, Arun, that is the one of his fullest agency, running the point home. Honoring the situation Armand calls Louis Maitre - as a way of being like 'I'll do as you've said then'. To make this work he's going to have to give Louis some of the control, yes. But it's the first time such a role is ever established, and it was his choice to do it. So so what if they do it in a very suggestive way? They can't like doing that? I think it's them having fun.
I struggle to find how Louis is being overly domineering here when really he's giving and offering Armand the most agency he's ever had. Same with finding it manipulative. The manipulation was more earlier in the episode I think, when he was stringing him along, giving mixed signals. He's no longer toying with him like that. Louis might be pushing Armand, leading him on to make a decision, but he doesn't mean bad by it.
But back to this pimp thing. I find it frankly offensive that this is where people are going with this. I get it, but to run with it being the case is, on many levels, wrong.
Louis told us episode 1 this was the only sustainable line of work to support his family and keep their standing, at the time. It was never his choice to be doing this either but his blackness allowed no other options. He did what he did so his family could stay in that house and maintain all their same comforts. It gave him privileges most black men didn't have at the time that he wanted to maintain and even have more of. Anyway, it doesn't and had never defined him the way 'being good at running things' had. And in that case he just likes having that kind of control where he can get it, which makes sense.
The world is what placed that kind of role onto him of what he was allowed to be able to run, not himself. And on that he actually treated the sex workers he employed well and respected them enough to give them more opportunity.** He recognizes they don't have much in the way of options either.
Louis employed sex workers, yes, but he didn't subject them to abuse, (like how Armand was)*. He didn't oversee things in a way that would go against their consent (see; episode 1 again)**. Sometimes a job is just a job. And Sex work is work.
Armand's particular past with sexual abuses may strike a particular cord with Louis, given all that, but the very last thing either is thinking is that Louis' pimping Armand out here. This is merely their decision as companions, and had nothing to do with adding another line in a laundry list of selling Armands body out to people at the command of someone else. Armand rescinds some of his control to Louis' wishes, because he wants him, and he trusts him, that's all.
If you aren't allowing Armand that choice, and are doubtful it's fully his, you're putting him right back in the box of being defined by his abuses. Putting him back into that space where he isn't given any agency over what he does. (Which is exactly opposite of what the intent of this scene is for)*.
*: (edit) added for clarity.
**: (strike through) numerous people are saying I'm misremembering these points so disregard it. (Thought he was siding with Bricks, it was the other way around). (Technically one aspect of those opportunities were for getting around the law). I don't have a perfect memory, it happens. Let's not get mad about it. Doesn't change much of the point which is that Louis, now, Louis then, was always considering more about the running things and for stated purposes. So I guess I'd say he may only have respected the SWers enough sometimes for what allowed him to do that, and there are moments he certainly expressed remorse over the fact, but he has a great deal higher respect for Armand that is genuine. It's incomparable. Please read my added notes in the tags, it should address most other concerns.
#amc iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtv season 2#Loumand#louis du pointe du lac#armand#interview with the vampire#IWTV#Many people are ranting about this but I'm throwing my hat in too#signed someone who went through csa and is close friends with many swers#long rant#noticing spelling errors in this after posting ffff#added note: I'm not saying armand and louis dynamic is without it's flaws or that louis was somehow without his exploitation and faults#while he was a pimp#as a pimp though he certainly wasn't going about it in the same way as what had happened in the brothel or with marius#I more so say that their very actions are of a healthier dynamic than that this is true even if they themselves are not exactly so#all for nuanced and messed up relationships that run everywhere in this show#But I still don't see it as that specific dynamic I wouldn't call it that there's just an amount of that dominence at play#neither want to be tethered to the roles they've been playing previously and they aren't entirely different for it but#are still arriving to this idea of needing something new to define themselves by and something they both want#they're exploring with this companionship that they're still trying to get a feel for#we as an audience might know they never do fully work their shit out and so are doomed but they don't at that point#last thing I guess is that I am not here to start shit it's fictional and not that serious 4 me 2 care enough 2 go after any1#not individually no#These are just my thoughts#I heavily caution using this idea of it being like the pimp 'jumped out' or whatever for reasons above#and its racist implications as others have said more bluntly (I've implied it)
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I love Chris so much you guys.
#detroit become human#gavin reed#chris miller#neither of them is my overall favorite but i do really super love chris - hes up there#also i went into playing this knowing one (1) thing and that was you get to knock gavin out cold in the evidence locker#thats the only thing i knew about this game#ive read some fanfic (before i played the game) and i appreciate that the fics i read that had chris in them#were all like youre the straight friend or just youre the only straight i like#almost unanimously ???? like ? hes got a son and i like that you (fandom) allowed him to be a wife guy#chris was chill and i appreciate that#i missed a lot of the interactions and i messed up a lot somehow though i thought i was being nice and good#shocking no one my favorite guy is a side character and not one of the protags#i want to draw him but i couldnt think of anything dialogue wise for him and i really wanted to draw Stupid Men#and for my run at least im like wow gavin isnt even that bad of an antagonist lmao#like granted i never had a coworker aim a gun at me but i have been threatened for a stabbing before so#anyway sweats nervously at posting dbh content after being known for ... not that sort of game#good lord the stress i felt every interaction that i got an affection down ?? my otome exp is only positive reinforcement signs#where you get lil blossoms or hearts when you make the correct route choice and get nothing if not#the red downs were awful
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When your ship are technically on opposite sides, but they're both still incredibly messed up in their own ways:
#rhys-ravenfeather signing on#ship dynamics#soul eater#I SAW AN OPPORTUNITY AND I TOOK IT#real talk though--i don't really ship stein and medusa but i DO find their dynamic early in the series interesting#also i'm just going to say it--stein is one of my favorite types of characters asldfjasdflsdjf#on the side of good but yeah--INCREDIBLY messed up
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Adding to the list of things I’m happy about, so far my silly botw dark link au could still pretty well work even with totk
#I mean obviously things would need tweaking but nothing DIRECTLY contradicts it#which is pretty good for a fic that started as a botw sequel before totk was really a thing#rambles from the floor#haven’t seen any sign of yiga or anything though so that might mess up my plans since they play a pretty big role#but still it’s nice
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@everythingwasnormalhere / @everythingisnormalhere I FINALLY DREW MOSS, IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT !! :)
#I ALSO HOPE I DIDNT MESS UP THE HAT TO BAD#IVE NEVER DRAWN THAT KIND OF HAT BEFORE THIS#IM ALSO SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY DREW THE PIECE SIGN ON THE WRONG HAND#I REALLY DO HOPE YOU LIKE IT THOUGH !!#MOSS IS REALLY COOL SO IM HAPPY I FINALLY DREW IT#:)#moss sp#south park moss#south park oc#sp oc#south park#tw33k draws#Edit: AND IM ALSO SORRY FOR MY HORRIBLE CAMERA QUALITY !!#AND IM ALSO SORRY THAT THE ARM ON THE LEFT IS PROBABLY TO LONG
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Feanor’s Legit Family Issues
Look, i’m not saying that Feanor was a swell guy to be around (especially his step mom and half sibs) (with the only exception being nerdanel and his sons of course (good dad and husband feanor for the win))
But if i, and only i, had been the only child whose parents were divorced and father remaried in the entirety of the country, AFTER my mom died in childbirth(specifically mine), and then chooses to not come back to me, specifically bc of the gods in order to let my dad remarry a woman who’s been mooning after my dad since before my mom died, and to have all that essentially be thrown in my face constantly bc people gossip and rumors spread,
I too would have an enormous inferiority complex and be ready to throw hands at any given second, whether it be at my father, his family, or the gods themselves.
Let Feanor be angry and frustrated with his family situation, bc it’s a legit mess and no one should have expected for him to just “deal with it” when he was a kid when this all went down and no one had any idea what to do.
(Ps, friendly reminder that they didn’t have therapists at the time and were essentially only just starting to really create a stable civilization, so no one would know how to deal with this situation, especially since it’s literally one of a kind, and it looks like the finwe fam was not that good at communicating)
#feanor#the feanorians are a mess#finweans#finwe#valar#silmarillion#it’s a fucking mess#feanor is just a guy#not evil or good#just trying his best#it’s ok for him to have emotions that aren’ positive 100% of the time#he’s still a good father and husband though#finwe should take notes#no seriously#finwe needs to get his act together#ngl i’m giving indis the side eye#there’s just something anout her#that rubs me the wrong way#i do feel bad for finwe and indis’s kids though#they did not sign up for this#neither did feanor#also#valar!#square up!#why are you like this?#conservative cunts#miriel#you also have a responsibility to your son#jfc it’s a mess#they all need therapy
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💀
#my bros fiance and i speaking spanish and giggling and hes like “HEY THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO PLOTTING?”#“I HATE IT WHEN YOU 2 TALK SHIT AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.”#then little bro you should've taken spanish in high school like i did#and got adopted by a few aunties in the community#i still cant speak it well for shit and if its spoke rapidly i can catch pieces#but i can read it pretty well even though i fuck up the grammar#anyway his fiance is like “BABY RELAX WE'RE JUST MESSING AROUND”#“I KNOW MY SIS. I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT INHERITED GREAT UNCLE JERRYS MANGO.”#“IF SHE WANTED TO STEAL YOU AWAY I KNOW SHE COULD FUCKING DO IT.”#HEHEHEHE HE CAUGHT ONTO MY PLAN#kidding kidding 😂#my future sis in law is wonderful and theyre a lovely couple shes the best thing thats happened to him#i just like fucking around and finding out yknow?#as for the mango piece our great uncle jerry was...popular#he was a ladies guy and might've been bi too#when my bro started showing signs he had the gift everyone was happy but come to find out i got it too and commence pearl clutching#at least i used my charisma powers for good a la helping my friends get hooked up with people unlike my bro#anyway point to this is BRO ADMITTED I OUTCLASS HIS ASA MUWAHAHAHA!!#20 SOMETHING YEARS IVE BEEN WAITING TO HEAR HIM ADMIT IT#im better!#LMAO#🎶i got more rizzz than yyyOOOOOuuuuuuuu🎶#need a tag for when i share something personal that makes me happy#not magenta but some other pink#anyway im good at flirting but if they flirt back or it gets too weirdly intense: jay.exe stopped working#needs strong emotional connection to continue subscription#stars#cant do it#not today!#not ever actually
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Okay I just found out that the signs in ASL for coffee and make out are pretty similar. >:] Sasha bout to embarrese herself in front of her girls oooooooh
#heheheh#anne doesnt catch on at first because shes not at good at it as marcy#but like the day after they meet up#sasha is really sleepy so messes up his signs a little#and marcy starts blushing furiously and says “uh what? i mean uh” and then sasha processes and also blushes and is like “oh no nono i meant#-coffee do you want coffee?“ and marcy just like nods and then when sasha leaves she has to tell anne what happened and anne is like ”...“#and also blushes even though she wasnt even fully present for the conversation#and then they gotta figure out how to tell sasha that they're dating#hmmm or maybe they arent im not sure on that plot point yet#wandering vagabond au#sasha waybright#asl#sign language
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diamant, the horrors chamber, and why he’s just so fun to mess with // the diamant-sertation series
i’d talked a little about this before on twitter about diamant angst and if i’m doing alright (i’m fine just biochemistry major go brrrr) and i just remembered this:
and i wanted to think about this for a little bit. i’m going to try and not retread old ground, but that’s kind of impossible if i want to break him in a realistic way.
but i was mostly thinking about how easy it is to destabilise him. i might be woobifying him too much, but i swear, i’ve been through this rigamarole before with a variety of characters. i’ve hurt characters over and over and over again, testing their limits, watching them bend and potentially break, and diamant has keeled over the fastest. it’s kind of funny in a bit of a twisted way.
but i mean it: why does he bend to easily compared to others?
i think it’s because he Refuses to experience The Horrors, and so when something encroaches on that tenuously stretched self control, he simply cannot deal with anything new, so he shuts down. you’d think he’d have a fight response to new stressors (he is of brodia; if you can’t fight, then what kind of brodian are you?) but i think he’s gone past that point. he’s dealing with enough already as it is, just One More Thing just will set him off. he’s tired, overwhelmed, and bottles everything up because He Should Be Able To Deal With It.
there’s definitely an allegory of being undiagnosed neurodivergent in here somewhere but we don’t have time to unpack all that.
but since diamant is so easily burnt out (which, haha, funny fire trauma go brr), he’s just an easy target to picking at all of his weaknesses and flaws. diamonds have very predictable cutting planes, and if manage to hit one just right, the entire crystal will shatter.
#rex rambles#fire emblem#diamant#diamant fire emblem#fire emblem diamant#fe engage#fire emblem engage#story abt the breaking in realistic way: i'd once met a writer in a different fandom who tortured the charas as a sign of love as one does#she at least tagged her shit so i could avoid it but what most struck me and drove me insane was how all the characters were consistent...#consistently same-y that is. all of them filled the same basic tropes of weak and abused + abuser which doesn't work for some characters#also she wrote one of my favourite characters as an abuser to a character he would never abuse and though he can be neglectful he's not...#he's not like an outright abuser like that. unfortunately a lot of ppl keep stepping on his goddamn trauma so he's very testy#but he's loyal to a fault been burned before scared and angry and he just needs a friend that won't hurt him like he's been hurt before#i have a mild headache and biochem to work on so this is as far as i can go rn so i'm sorry if this one is a less polished than my usual#i just find it interesting that he will bend sooner and requires much more time to. ah. rehydrate him. so to speak#if you want him to be healthier and less stretched thin#bc that's what burnout does: it messes with your ability to Exist and work and the more chronic stress that piles up#something will inevitably snap and usually it ain't pretty
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Love how the only thing standing between me and finishing this fic is my stubborn refusal to let Mario have sign language
#not that sign language is bad or anything#i just like to write him with general gestures and body language#like in the games 🙂#but anyway mario's gotta bring bowser up in a conversation out of nowhere and i'm stuck whoopsies#is there a wanted poster nearby he can point to?#could he trace the insignia in the air or on the ground or in the foam of his drink?#even though there's no sign language do they have a sign for Bowser anyway? what would that even be?#or do i give up and peek into Mario's head a little bit for just that one line even though the fic isn't supposed to be in his POV at all?#i dunno... OTL#leaning towards giving up tho its such a minor thing lmao#and all the other ways kind of mess up the flow of things#(well. except for the foam art now that i'm thinking about it...)#i just want this fic done XD#mlv.txt
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New Miku is hereeeee! 🐱✨
#lmao something is always messed up on my Miku figures#this time it’s one of the thingies that holds up the birthday sign#she’s still cute though!!! this one is so fun and I love the pink details :)#figure collecting#hatsune miku#wurm.figures
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i WILL have waist length hair by next year . no matter what
#im still angry she made me cut it in april#a trim would have been fine but she made the hairstylist cut so much#like I said 4 inches to her and then she was done but now she had to come and tell the poor lady to cut more#actually think the hairstylist was on my side bc it really did not look like she cut that much#it makes me so ANGRY like why does she feel entitled to control every part of my appearance#I literally don't even feel like a person anymore#saw this tiktok of a brown girl cutting her hair to her chin bc she was never allowed to cut it bc long hair is considered a sign of beauty#and like. that's kind of messed me up ngl. bc while I feel bad. at least her mother wanted her to be beautiful...#I can't even explain it but#I can't wear nice clothes (the last time I was allowed to buy clothes was 3 fucking years ago) I always have to wear my cousins old ones#even for sixth form I really thought id be allowed to buy some new shirts or trousers or anything but guess what. nothing#there is nothing in my school wardrobe that hasnt been worn by 3 people before#and like I can't style my hair differently than what I always do and im even judged for new outfit combinations#she never gets me hair stuff even though I have the least manageable hair in the fucking universe#and the only makeup im allowed to wear is what she gets me (tinted moisturiser that is actually awful)#and then I look at my cousin and I have honestly never felt worse#bc she literally goes out w a face full of makeup and she can get highlights in her hair and wear whatever she wants#its crazy. and I can never say anything about it#its so fucking embarrassing as well#I just have to act like I don't care abt these things#when we go to Azerbaijan for my cousins engagement im the only girl in the family who isn't wearing a dress#bc she just had to insist that 'oh Alisha doesn't REALLY want a dress' and I just looked at her like. what.#so now im wearing the ugliest trousers and weird smock type shirt imaginable god I feel sick thinking about it.#lmao I can't stop crying abt this literally the stupidest thing in the world to cry about#my ammi would never do this to me
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Oh hm. I was doing a lot of photography stuff because I thought it was helping my mental health but I think it might have been making it worse?
I think the whole topic has become a ball of stress because I'm like, stressed over the idea that I won't have an income if this SSI thing doesn't work out and it's like . . . I dunno funneling into the idea I have to get good at something or else. It's not actually because I'm having fun at this point.
#personal#mental illness#bullet journaling is fun though :3#maybe . . . maybe i should just get a new laptop#a nice functional guy for less than $500#to last me hopefully another ten years#overall i think messing up my computer is not a sign of a functional stable healthy young man#something has to Change#i mean aside from *gestures at physical health problems*
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hflaksdjflsdkhf
#🌙.vents#okay i shld rlly be more mindful of like my warning signs bcs talking a bit w one of my irls rn with apollo in our gc n#TIME IS REALLY NOT ON MY SIDE RIGHT NOW BUT#tmrrw i rlly want to write smth more for them bcs i think she's not rlly doing well rn n we touched on that a bit earlier but#i want to say more. i really do#usually i still manage well on my own but i'm human too n i really realize how my mood gets. like. i feel sad n all when i#don't talk to ppl for a while.#NOT THAT IT'S ANYONE'S FAULT THOUGH OKAY 😭#wait my mind is rlly a mess rn bcs i'm both distressed n at peace right now n it's confusing but i'm#genuinely fine n i genuinely don't have resentment towards anyone even though it may seem like it.#i hate idolizing others or being too idealistic though sometimes i get caught up in it but i'm aware when i do n try to fix it?#so. from my perspective#though i try to be objective n. separate n be aware of what is subject to me#i'm aware of my own self so. i think i'm decently aware of my own friends too#like their faults n strengths but i love them as a whole n want the best for them. if that makes sense#i really don't know how to describe it right now n that incapability to word it well enough distresses me in this particular yeah but#in my head i really do know n that gives me peace at least n#I'M SORRY I'M REALLY JUST RAMBLING A LOT RN I'M DUMPING N I'M NOT THINKING TOO MUCH OF IT I CRIED A BIT N THEN#it's so hot here i don't know why i'm not turning on the fan n then sorry to my friend ily /p but my energy is low rn n#yk what i'll just do more tmrrw. but my responsibilities w school r fucking me up i think weekends shld be 3 days fr so i can rest#rlly comforts me though when i think of. the complexity of life n. how humans are like. like. more like on how#yk normal stuff abt being human like we all have struggles n i rlly love thinking of how each of us loves differently w different ppl n#how we think i want to learn of all my friends' beliefs n philosophies n ideals n i want to just understand sm okay hdfaljsdkf#i find each of them so interesting but yk personally i have struggles w actually initiating that connection bcs of anxiety n then#it's rather comforting isn't it knowing how others have their own struggles too right? but we still connect. n. yeah#but i shld sleep soon so i'll shut my thoughts off now n priv these posts later bcs i am Genuinely just rambling i'm not thinking too much#GOOD NIGHT <3 ILL FIX MY TUMBLR TMRRW 😭
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