#i meant to post this earlier but i chickened out

[wetchickenbreast]

going for walks during the day when there’s other people out walking is so crazy i feel like a sim

[niteshade925]

April 20, Beijing, China, National Museum of China/中国国家博物馆 (Part 4 – Chinese Historical Fashion Exhibition continued):

Alrighty, Ming and Qing dynasty fashion, here we go! Sit tight because this is an extra long post that took me a long time to research

First is this marvel, a replica of the phoenix crown/fengguan/凤冠 of Empress Xiaoduanxian of Ming (明孝端显皇后). The real artifact is in this museum, but it's probably not exhibited much for conservation reasons.

Phoenix crowns are the formal headwear for empresses, which according to etiquette rules set at the beginning of Ming dynasty (1368 - 1644), must have 9 dragons and 4 phoenixes (btw the original Chinese term is fenghuang/凤凰, which is a different mythological creature from the phoenix, but "phoenix" is the commonly used translation now), but this crown has 9 dragons and 9 phoenixes, indicating that etiquette rules have loosened and shifted by late Ming.

The phoenixes on this crown are blue because they were actually made with the iridescent feathers of kingfishers in a process called diancui/点翠. All species of kingfishers are now legally protected animals in China, so when buying hanfu accessories, you may come across "imitation diancui"/仿点翠, these are usually either made with enamel or dyed chicken or goose feathers. Another thing to note is the appearance of the jewels on this crown. Ming-era people liked keeping the jewels in a "natural look", so these jewels had no facets.

Recreations of Ming-era hanfu. Left is the semi-formal outfit of aristocrat women in mid to late Ming dynasty. Right is the casual outfit of late Ming scholars and literati. The woman's cone-shaped hairstyle is called a diji/䯼髻, and the set of hairpins that goes on a diji is called toumian/头面. She's wearing a type of top called an ao/袄 and a skirt aka qun/裙, specifically a mamianqun/马面裙, or "horse face skirt". Note that the bottom hem of an ao is not tucked into the skirt. The man is wearing a square-ish hat called a fangjin/方巾 and should also be wearing a wangjin/网巾 underneath (can be understood as a hairnet). He's wearing a daopao/道袍 and a hechang/鹤氅 on the outside.

Also I did make a mistake while dividing up the pictures for these two posts, some of the following artifacts are from earlier dynasties. Ugh if only I had time to take pictures of all the placards.

A pair of mojie/摩竭 shaped gold earrings from Liao dynasty (916 - 1125). Note that the placard says it's "摩羯形" or "Capricorn-shaped", but this apparently is sort of a misnomer? Sort of, because this representation should be of the makara (मकर; translated as 摩竭 in Chinese), a sea creature from Hindu mythology, but at the same time it is the equivalent of Capricorn in Hindu astrology. However since the name "Capricorn" stuck, it's now commonly referred to as "摩羯". 摩竭 and 摩羯 have the exact same pronunciation though.

A pair of phoenix (fenghuang) shaped gold hairpins from Liao dynasty:

After a lot of pulling my hair out researching, I finally found what time period this gold belt buckle came from. It's from Eastern Han dynasty (25 - 220 AD). The gold filigree and beads form the pattern known as panchiwen/蟠螭纹, where pan/蟠 and chi/螭 are both types of loong dragon in Chinese mythology.

The gold decoration on a xiapei/霞帔 (the V-shaped wide band in the diagram on the right) from Liao dynasty. Xiapei originated in Song dynasty (960 - 1279) as part of the formal attire of consorts, but later developed into a part of the formal attire for women in general. Xiapei also looked different at different time periods in history, but from Song-era to Ming-era, its structure didn't change by much.

Finally back to Ming dynasty. This is a gold cap inlaid with gems and pearls. From the size of this cap and the included hairpins, we can deduce that this cap is meant to encase the bun on the top of the head (the hairpins that go through the cap would hold it in place).

Like the gold cap above, the next few are all from the same tomb of a Ming dynasty noble, and they are all themed similarly--they all depict scenes in a heavenly palace. Of these, the first three that has miniature architecture in gold are parts of the toumian worn on a diji hairstyle. This first one is a pair of yanbin/掩鬓 (lit. "covering temples"), so called because they are worn on the sides, close to the temples.

This next one has some confusion regarding the naming. According to an article by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences Institute of Archaeology, the top artifact is a fenxin/分心 and the bottom artifact is a tiaoxin/挑心, but according to 撷芳主人 (if you are a hanfu enthusiast you have probably heard of this person or seen their works, they are the one who drew the cute illustrations of Ming-era fashion), the top one may be a manguan/满冠, and the bottom one should be called fenxin/分心. Note that 撷芳主人's conclusion is mostly based on Ming-era records and novels. Regardless of the naming, the top one here should be worn on the base of the diji, and the bottom one should be worn at the front center of the diji.

This one also has some confusion in the naming, the Institute of Archaeology calls it a dingzan/顶簪, while 撷芳主人 calls it a tiaoxin/挑心. Again, regardless of the naming, this one is worn on the very top of the diji, so the hairstick portion goes straight down through the diji. If you look closely, you can even see people and animals in the details.

Left: a pair of gold phoenix (fenghuang) hairpins made in the 22nd year of the Yongle Emperor of Ming. Right: gold filigree bracelets inlaid with gemstones.

Ming-era portrait of a scholar official. Before cameras were introduced in late-Qing dynasty, portrait paintings were the most realistic depictions of what people looked like back then. Such portrait paintings mostly began in Song dynasty and continued through to Qing dynasty.

Illustrations of the different buzi/补子 (also known as "mandarin square") used by different ranks of officials in Ming dynasty. All ranks are organized from highest on the left to lowest on the right, top row is for civil officials, bottom row is for military officials, and bottom right is for nobility. All illustrations here come from the Ming-era illustrated encyclopedia Sancai Tuhui (《三才图会》). For those who are interested, a scan of Sancai Tuhui is available on Internet Archive for free (link goes to first chapter, most chapters are available).

Also from Sancai Tuhui Chapter 62 (all pictures here come from Ch. 62-64), illustrations of the twelve ornaments (called shierzhang/十二章) on a mianfu/冕服, which is the highest level of formal attire for an emperor in Ming dynasty. These twelve ornaments depict things including celestial bodies (note that sun contains the three-footed sun crow, and moon contains the moon rabbit), elements of nature, mythical creatures, and representations of life, and are supposed to represent the values and traits that an emperor should possess:

And wrapping up the section on Ming-era hanfu, here are the headwear of different classes of people in Ming dynasty, from commoners to the literati to important government officials.

Note the net-like hair accessory on the left. This is a wangjin/网巾 during Ming dynasty (illustration from Sancai Tuhui), and is worn by all men regardless of social class. However, wangjin is worn almost like an "undergarment", so it's almost always covered by something else. Which means all those historical cdramas set in Ming dynasty that have their characters wear only a wangjin in public are, in fact, inaccurate.

Some hats of commoners and scholars in Ming dynasty. Note the left one on the second row, that is the same hat worn by the Fox Scholar in the episode Goose Mountain of the animated series Yao Chinese Folktales (《中国奇谭》).

Some of the formal headwear of government officials in Ming dynasty. These are called liangguan/梁冠, lit. "beam crown", where the liang/"beam" refers to the metal arches that go over the top. The more liang there are on the hat, the higher the rank of the official.

And last but not least, Qing dynasty (1616 - 1911) fashion. Left is Qing-era men's outfit for horseback archery and hunting, called xingfu/行服. His hat is composed of two parts, the actual hat called dingdai/顶戴 (here it's specifically the winter version) and the back decoration made of horsehair and feathers that signifies status is called hualing/花翎. Back is the casual outfit of late-Qing Manchu noblewomen, with the characteristic hairstyle called dalachi/大拉翅, a vest called kanjian/坎肩, and a robe beneath called chenyi/衬衣. These are all considered part of qizhuang/旗装, or traditional Manchu clothing. On the right is the late-Qing casual outfit of upper class Han women, with an ao/袄 top and a langanqun/阑干裙 skirt (a type of mamianqun/马面裙), and a headband decorated with pearls called mo'e/抹额. Note that although the exact origin of the modern qipao/旗袍 is disputed, it definitely has elements from at least one of the following: the Manchu chenyi, the Han ao, and the late Qing and early Republic era men's changshan/长衫.

A little historical background on why this particular display is arranged in this way. In early Qing dynasty, the Manchu ruling class enforced the policy of 剃发易服 (lit. "shaving hair and changing clothing") specifically on Han men in order to force conformity to Manchu traditions in terms of hairstyle and clothing, but Han women were not included in this policy. So in early Qing, Han women still wore the same clothing as they did prior in late Ming, but over the time the fashion of Han women absorbed many elements of Manchu fashion. However, this wasn't a one-way influence. By late Qing, many elements of Han fashion were adopted by Manchu fashion as well, so this influence really went both ways. Today, Manchu people is one of the 56 officially recognized ethnicities in China (4th largest ethnicity by population), and the traditional fashion of Manchu people is a part of the diverse culture of modern China.

Below is a real example of a chenyi, chenyi were popular among Qing dynasty imperial consorts as informal dress:

The hairstyle of Manchu women (called qitou/旗头) at different times during Qing dynasty. The one at the far right was what early qitou looked like, while the one on the far left appeared in late-Qing. The two hairstyles on the left frequently appear in period dramas set in Qing dynasty.

A belt called jifudai/吉服带 with pouches and decorations. Jifudai is so named because it's supposed to be worn with the semi-formal jifu/吉服 outfit. This particular jifudai is yellow, a color reserved for the emperor.

Real examples of Qing-era Han women's outfit, with an ao on the left, and a langanqun on the right. Langanqun is a type of mamianqun, but the construction is different from Ming-era mamianqun, in that langanqun is made from numerous rectangular and trapezoidal pieces of fabric sewn together into two larger pieces, whereas Ming-era mamianqun are simply two large pleated pieces of fabric. The way these skirts are decorated are also somewhat different. Visually speaking, Qing-era langanqun have woven and/or embroidered patterns that are arranged vertically, creating a "paneled" look, whereas Ming-era mamianqun have woven and/or embroidered patterns that repeat and extend horizontally as to wrap around the entire skirt.

Aaaaand that's it for this exhibition! Phew. I highly recommend everyone go visit the free virtual exhibition (link here), partly because when I visited the National Museum of China, I was in a huge hurry (I only had one day to see everything), and so the task of taking pictures of the exhibition was split between me and a family member, but I'm not sure they understood how many pictures I wanted....so what's in my posts here are only a very small portion of the actual exhibition. The actual exhibition doesn't just have artifacts and replicas of artifacts, but also have paintings and real articles of clothing from Qing dynasty, which were all amazing to look at.

[justwinginglife]

Crushing Hard Pt 2

At the recommendation of @imthecosmicbasball, here is a continuation of an earlier post.

Soshiro thought that he knew everything that went on in the Third Division, that is, until he saw you leaving base hurriedly trying to catch your train. You texted him "See you very soon" in response to the bewildered look he had given you as you passed him and he spent hours poring over the message on his screen, wondering what it meant.

Weeks went by and he didn't see you at all. He had begun to think he had misinterpreted your message when suddenly he was called into Captain Ashiro's office to greet his new platoon leader. As he made his way down the hall, he tried to come up with an excuse to use to get you to come over and have dinner with him again, but then he opened the door to the Captain's office and found you standing beside her, chatting like you were old friends.

"Hoshina, may I introduce you to the newest member of our division, Platoon Leader L/N."

You grin widely and mock salute him. His jaw drops.

"You're... here. You're actually here. And you... work here... now?"

Your smile softens at his words and you give him a playful shrug. "You said you made a mean omurice, it was a tempting offer."

He blinks and then he chuckles. "One omurice coming right up, Platoon Leader."

Captain Ashiro shakes her head at the two of you. "Alright, you two, get a room. Hoshina, show her around base."

He obliges, extending his arm out to you. "M'lady."

You take his arm, laughing.

He drinks up the sound of you laughing, thankful he'll be able to hear it everyday now. He plans on making you laugh so much more. In fact, it seems all he has now are a million plans of everything he wants to do with you. But asking you out is one of them and it’s the hardest thing on the list.

He can never tell what's running through your mind and if it's ever him. Do you think about him like he thinks about you? Your presence in his mind is so constant that if he ever stopped imagining your voice cheering him on or stopped picturing your eyes peeking out from under your lashes, he might actually go insane. You're the first thing he thinks about every morning and the last think he thinks about every night. You're his everything and he just hopes he can even be something to you.

He wasn’t sure when exactly he started seeking you out, craving your energy, needing your presence, but it was so sudden and overwhelming that it made it impossible for him to deny his feelings for you anymore. Not when your absence made him ache the way it did.

But he didn't have to feel that ache anymore, you were here now. Finally. And he would make the most out of it everyday until you finally got tired of him.

Little did he know, you'd never get tired of him. You couldn't- not when you'd begun to feel the same things for him. And as he walked you around campus, pointing out his favorite spots, telling you stories about all the things he'd done at each place, you found yourself wishing he'd never stop talking. If you could only listen to one sound for the rest of your life you wanted it to be his voice.

If you were honest, you were pretty sure how he felt about you. It was hard to miss the way he snuck glances at you whenever you were nearby and the way that he'd respond to every single one of your texts with the utmost speed (once, he'd even responded to you in the middle of a battle and Okonogi scolded him for hours about it). But some selfish part of you wanted to hear him confess to you first. And on the off chance you were wrong about his feelings, you didn't want to make things awkward when you had just moved entire cities for this new job.

So you kept up this little game of chicken with him, both of you tiptoeing around the border between friends and more.

It wasn't until he was finally making you that omurice that your relationship with him started to progress.

You perch yourself atop his bar stool and watch intently as he starts cooking you dinner. You wonder if he can feel your eyes following him, taking in the way his rough hands effortlessly chop scallions, the way his fingers curl around the knob on the stove to increase the heat, the way his tongue looks as he licks the demi-glace off the tip of a spoon. You think to yourself that you could get used to being in his kitchen. You could get used to being in his life.

Almost as if he's thinking the same things as you, he suddenly says, "You know, I like you being here."

You want him to continue so you say nothing.

"I... I like the idea of making you dinner every night. I like the idea of you waiting for me, barefoot, wearing one of my baggy t-shirts." His voice is soft, as though he's hoping you won't hear him say these things, and his eyes won't meet yours, though you're sure if you ask, he'll say something about how he's just watching the food to make sure it doesn't burn.

Then the loose knot that was tying his apron around him starts to unravel, slowly slipping off of him and you rush over to pull it back around him. Your fingers brush his back gently as you retie the knot and you swear you hear him inhale a little sharper than normal.

When you're done tying the knot, your hands don't move from his back. You lean your head forward so now you're resting against his shoulder blade.

The feeling of you pressed against him seems to steady his nerves. "I... I guess what I'm trying to say is... I just like you."

You smile against his shoulder. "I like you too." Oh come now, you think to yourself, the guy made the first move- the least you could do is be honest with him. You take a deep breath. "Actually I... I think I might love you."

He's silent for a moment and the only sound filling the air is the sizzle of the frying pan.

You start to think you might've said the wrong thing, might've confessed too much too soon. But then he lets out a relieved sigh. "Oh thank god you said it. I love you too. I'm sorry I was too chicken shit to start with that."

Your smile widens as you wrap your arms around his waist. "It's okay cuz I love you, chicken shit or not."

You can't see his face but you know he's grinning. "God, I love hearing you say that."

"Say what?" You tease.

"That you love me, dumbass. I will never get tired of hearing it for as long as I live."

You hold him a little tighter, pull him in a little closer, savor him a little longer.

"I'll never stop saying it for as long as I live."

[rylem33]

Going Red

I hope you enjoy this new story.

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Soraya twirled the small capsule between her fingers, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her blonde hair hung loosely around her face, just like it always had. She sighed, her eyes tracing over her familiar features—soft, pretty, but nothing special. She had looked the same for years, stuck in a version of herself she wasn’t sure she liked anymore. The same clothes, the same hairstyle, the same routine.

She glanced at her phone lying on the dresser. Jessica was out again, probably with friends, living her life, while Soraya sat at home, scrolling through social media, watching others live the life she wished she had. Parties, dates, adventures—everything Soraya avoided, whether by choice or because it seemed easier to stay on the sidelines.

She rubbed her thumb over the capsule in her hand, staring at it with a mix of hope and doubt. The idea of red hair had always intrigued her. It was bold, daring, everything she wasn’t. But every time she thought about going to a salon, she chickened out. The idea of sitting in a chair, letting someone else change her appearance—actually change something—felt too big, too scary.

Then she had seen the Instagram post: “Transform in an instant! One pill for the perfect look—no salon needed!” The influencers made it look easy, flaunting their bright, colorful hair like it was just another filter. A quick fix. Something she could do in the privacy of her own room, without having to explain it to anyone. Without anyone watching her.

Taking a deep breath, she popped the pill into her mouth, washing it down with water. What’s the worst that could happen? she thought, trying to reassure herself. It’s just hair.

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Hours later, Soraya sat at her vanity.  Truthfully, she’s spent a lot of the last few hours just staring and waiting. This time though, she noticed something in the mirror. The blonde strands at her roots had shifted into a soft copper tone. Her heart skipped a beat. It was actually happening.

The red hue was subtle at first, but it deepened as she watched, flowing through her hair like it was always meant to be there. She ran her fingers through the strands, smiling as the color took hold—a gorgeous blend of auburn and copper, shimmering in the light. It was exactly what she wanted.

Just then, her bedroom door opened, and Jessica, her roommate, walked in, phone in hand. “Hey, I was thinking we could—” She stopped mid-sentence, her eyes widening as they locked onto Soraya’s hair. “Holy shit, when did you dye your hair?”

Soraya grinned, tossing her red locks over her shoulder. “I didn’t go to the salon. I took a pill.”

“A pill?” Jessica raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. “Like, one of those Instagram things? Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I know. It sounds crazy, but look!” Soraya turned her head slightly, letting the light catch the fiery strands. “It worked. I love it!”

Jessica stepped closer, eyes narrowing as she examined the color. “Okay, I’ll admit, it does look amazing. But… are you sure it’s safe?”

“Come on, Jess. It’s just hair. What’s the worst that could happen?” Soraya said with a laugh, brushing off Jessica’s concern. She felt lighter already—more confident. The red suited her, brought out a side of her she had been eager to embrace.

Jessica nodded slowly. “Well, it does look good. Just… let me know if your head starts glowing or something.”

Soraya chuckled, waving her off. “Relax. I’m fine. It’s just the hair.”

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A couple of hours later, Soraya found herself pacing her room, her thoughts lingering on her earlier conversation with Jessica. As she passed by the mirror, she caught another glimpse of herself—this time, something felt off. She stared at her reflection more closely.

Her hair was still the perfect shade of red, but… something about her body looked different. She frowned, adjusting her shirt. It clung to her frame a little more snugly than usual, especially around her waist and chest.

She shook it off, attributing it to the confidence boost from the hair color. I’m imagining things. It’s just the hair.

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Later that evening, Jessica returned to their apartment, swinging the door open and casually tossing her bag onto the couch. As she walked toward Soraya’s room, she called out, “So, how’s life as a redhead?”

Jessica paused at the doorway when her eyes landed on Soraya. She was no longer lounging in her usual casual clothes. Instead, she was standing in front of her mirror, wearing a tight, strappy black outfit that clung to every curve of her now-altered body. Her chest was fuller, her waist cinched, and her hips flared in a way that was impossible to ignore. Soraya looked… stunning.

Jessica blinked, trying to process the sight in front of her. “Holy shit… that’s… different.” She struggled to find the right words.

Soraya ran her hands down her body, feeling the fabric hug her new curves. A part of her reveled in how good she looked, but another part—the real her—felt uneasy, like she wasn’t entirely herself. “Yeah… I know,” she said quietly.

Jessica stepped into the room, eyeing Soraya closely. “You’ve… changed a lot. It’s not just your hair, Soraya. Look at you. That pill didn’t just give you red hair, it’s…” Her voice trailed off, unsure how to continue without offending her.

“I know,” Soraya admitted, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She could see the changes—how her breasts were larger, her waist slimmer, her entire body more voluptuous. Her lips were fuller, her skin practically glowing. It wasn’t subtle anymore. “I just… I can’t stop it. It’s happening whether I like it or not.”

Jessica’s eyes widened, her concern deepening. “Have you checked online? Do you know what this thing is actually doing to you?”

Soraya’s temper flared, the intensity of her emotions hitting her like a wave. She turned sharply, her voice dripping with irritation. “I don’t need you to lecture me, Jess. I can handle this.” Her words were harsher than she intended, and a flicker of regret crossed her face. But the anger wouldn’t subside.

Jessica held her hands up defensively. “I’m not lecturing you! I’m just… I’m worried about you, okay?”

“I said I can handle it,” Soraya snapped, her eyes narrowing. She could feel her heartbeat quicken, the heat rising in her chest, the familiar wave of anger bubbling up again. Why am I so angry? she thought. 

Soraya quickly fled the room before things got worse.

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Soraya found herself pacing the room, her emotions raw but slowly cooling. She had stripped out of her tight outfit, now standing in just lingerie examining her new body.

I barely recognize myself, she thought, feeling a strange mix of awe and discomfort.

A soft knock on the door broke her thoughts, and Jessica stepped into the room cautiously. Soraya turned, meeting her gaze.

“Hey… you okay?” Jessica asked, her voice soft, hesitant. She approached Soraya carefully, as if she were still unsure what kind of mood her friend would be in.

Soraya nodded, her breathing steadying. “I’m… better. I’m sorry about earlier,” she said quietly. She ran a hand through her red hair, feeling the silky strands slip through her fingers. “I don’t know what’s happening to me, Jess.”

Jessica moved closer, her eyes scanning Soraya’s body, but her gaze lingered on her face, searching for some sign of the friend she knew. “I’m worried about you.”

Soraya shook her head, stepping closer to Jessica. “I can feel it… it’s like I’m different on the inside too.” Her voice was softer now, vulnerable.  As she gazed at Jessica, something shifted in her chest—something unfamiliar but undeniable.

Jessica placed a comforting hand on Soraya’s arm, her touch warm and steady. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. I’m here for you,” she promised.

But the warmth from Jessica’s hand sparked something deeper in Soraya. Her breath hitched, and her eyes locked with Jessica’s. This time, it wasn’t anger that bubbled up—it was something far more primal. Desire.

“You’re my friend, right Jess…” Soraya’s voice dropped, husky with something new. “Is that all you want to be?” She could feel the shift in her body, the pull toward Jessica, and it was intoxicating. Her pulse quickened, her thoughts muddled by the heat coursing through her.

Jessica blinked, startled by the sudden change in Soraya’s tone. “What? Soraya, I—”

Before Jessica could finish, Soraya moved even closer, her lips curling into a teasing smirk. She brushed her fingers down Jessica’s arm, the touch lingering, electric. “You think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me sometimes?” she whispered, her voice dripping with seduction. “The way you hover… like you’re waiting for something.”

Jessica’s eyes widened, her breath quickening, but she didn’t pull away. “Soraya, I—this isn’t…” She stammered, clearly thrown off by the shift in Soraya’s energy, but unable to deny the spark between them.

Soraya’s hand moved to Jessica’s cheek, her thumb brushing softly against her skin. “Maybe you’re more than just a friend,” she whispered, leaning in closer, her lips inches away from Jessica’s. 

Jessica hesitated, her eyes flicking down to Soraya’s lips before meeting her gaze again. “Soraya… I don’t think this is—”

But before Jessica could finish, Soraya’s lips were on hers—soft, hungry, full of the heat that had been building inside her. It wasn’t a slow kiss; it was fast, desperate.

Jessica gasped against her lips, her body stiffening for a moment before she melted into the kiss, her hands gripping Soraya’s waist. 

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Soraya lay back on the bed, her red hair spilling around her shoulders.  Her reflection stared back at her from the mirror, and for the first time in a long time, she smiled—a genuine smile.

Jessica stood by the door, watching Soraya carefully, unsure of what to say. Last night had been… intense. They’d crossed a line, and it had been good. Really good. But Jessica wasn’t sure where they stood now. They had always been friends, and as far as she knew, Soraya had never shown interest in women before.

At least, not until now.

“Come here,” Soraya said, her voice softer now, with an edge of playfulness. She patted the bed beside her, her eyes meeting Jessica’s. “You don’t have to be scared,” Soraya said, her voice teasing.

Jessica let out a nervous laugh, looking at Soraya with a mix of amusement and curiosity. “Is that so?”

Soraya smiled, leaning in closer. “Oh yeah. You’ll see.” She didn’t wait this time. She kissed Jessica, but it wasn’t frantic or wild. It was slow, confident. Jessica kissed her back, her hands coming up to touch Soraya’s face, pulling her in closer.  Her body pressed against Jessica’s, warm and soft.

When they pulled apart, Soraya stayed close, her forehead resting against Jessica’s. Soraya whispered, her lips curving into a small smile, “I guess redheads have more fun.”

Jessica laughed, her hands still resting on Soraya’s waist. “I think you might be right,” she said, shaking her head with a grin.

[putschki1969]

🇹🇭YKL vol.#20 ～Asia Tour 20th Special SETLIST～　【Bangkok】 Live Report🇹🇭

Wow, what a week it has been. My Thailand trip was an exciting but very exhausting experience. I'm finally back home and after spending an entire day just relaxing on Tuesday, I feel somewhat ready to tackle this live report. I'm back to work and there's a lot to do but I still want to post as much as possible before I lose all of my motivation. Still took me several days to finish this so I am sorry for the delay🙏 I'll start with some general stuff from the day of the live and then continue with a detailed report. Without further ado, let's get to it〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

Before The Live

The concert was held on November 15th at Bangkok Union Hall. At that point I had already been in Thailand for two and a half days doing all sorts of Kalafina and touristy stuff. Needless to say, I was quite exhausted from my previous activities (more on that in a future post) but I was determined to enjoy the day to the fullest. The only major thing planned for that day was a meet-up with some fellow fans to get lunch and dinner so thankfully, nothing too strenuous. Although one could argue that social interactions like this are always a big struggle for me :P Anyway, I headed to the venue quite early in the morning to meet my friends. We were doing some last-minute shopping at a nearby mall to complete the presents for Keiko and Hikaru. Also, we wanted to check out our flower stand which had been put up earlier that morning. I was beyond happy to participate in this particular flower stand project. The HiKei chibis turned out super cute and the banner was also adorable (just look at little Moo Deng🦛). I'm a little bummed though that I didn't get to take the cardboard print home with me since the girls requested the flower stand to be brought to their dressing room after the live (initially, we had planned to take all the decorative stuff off the flower stand after the concert before the flower shop picked it up but alas, it wasn't meant to be). Oh well, we got all those sweet pics with Keiko and Hikaru so that pretty much erased any feelings of disappointment. Thankfully, I got my acrylic key-holders and stickers as a little consolation. I will certainly treasure them forever. During the meet-up with some fellow fans, I also got a bunch of presents, including some gorgeous fan-made articles for the two lives in China. Honestly, I feel so blessed to have received all of this. Thank you so much to everyone who thought of me!

Speaking of fellow fans, I appreciated everyone who came up to me to say "hi". I was also very happy about all the yummy souvenirs. The suncakes from Taiwan saved my life during the following days because I always had a lovely snack to accompany my morning coffee. Sorry if I came across as awkward or reserved to some of you, I am not used to being in big crowds like that and meeting strangers is not among my strengths. Also wish I had gotten more commemorative pics with everyone but oh well, in the heat of the moment it's easy to forget about stuff like that.

For lunch we had planned to go to a Hainanese Chicken place but unfortunately, they didn't have enough room for our group so we ended up going to KFC XD. I forgot to take pictures but our order was honestly not that exciting anyway. I was so eager to try spicy food during my stay in Bangkok but that stuff at KFC was a total let-down (probably our fault though for not looking properly at the menu - they may have had some spicier stuff that we just didn't see). Dinner that day more than made up for it though since my main dish was incredibly delicious. Don't ask me what it was called, it was some sort of fried pork concoction with garlic and chili, simply fabulous and probably one of the best things I had during that trip.

Despite having a lot of fun during these activities, I kinda regret not being able to see anything of the Loy Krathong festivities that day. The weird timing of the concert would have made it very inconvenient to check out any of the festival sites and on top of that there were some bad weather forecasts so no one wanted to risk getting wet😢 It's a real shame but oh well, I guess the live was worth it.

♪The Live♪

Seat

I was very lucky to have dedicated friends who made sure I'd get a VIP front-row seat right across from Keiko's spot on the stage [the picture below was taken at the end of the concert when I was already walking outside so it doesn't properly reflect my point of view - I was seated a little more to the right side]. She was pretty much right in front of me during the entire live so of course, I was in heaven. Taking my eyes off her was a real challenge and at times I honestly felt a little bad for the other singers because I didn't really pay that much attention to them whenever Keiko was on stage. Also, this might make me sound like a perv but I was absolutely mesmerised by Keiko's legs. During her main solo parts she would always turn to the side or turn her back to the audience. Not sure why (maybe because so the audience would focus on her singing rather than her gorgeous face? Or she was a little self-conscious? Who knows). Either way, during these parts her legs were on full display and since her skirt was quite short on one side, you could basically get a glimpse of her tiny safety shorts with every tiny move she made 🫣

One tiny complaint I had was that the stage was quite far away from the audience area and they even felt the need to put up a relatively high metal barrier which created a weird sense of distance despite being all the way up in the front. Nevertheless, the concert felt very intimate to me and I think for that reason, I enjoyed it much more than my past Yuki Kajiura live experiences. I also gained a new appreciation for certain songs that I previously didn't care for all that much. I honestly can't stress this enough, experiencing a concert like this in such an intimate manner is vastly superior to watching a DVD/BD/live stream or even attending it in a spot somewhere further away from the stage. Everything feels and sounds completely different. Your entire body is getting caught in this spectacle and you get a full-on adrenaline rush. It's during these moments when I barely notice any flaws or mishaps. I've been made fun of in the past for always writing these overly positive and raving reviews of concerts but I personally don't even notice half of the bad stuff when I am on such a high. Plus, I don't enjoy lingering on the negative stuff which is why you won't see much of that in any of my reports.

Venue

To be fair, it wasn't a particularly good concert hall, at least in my opinion. The venue was a lot smaller than expected and it felt more like a convention hall rather than a proper concert hall. There are much better venues available in Bangkok but they were probably already booked or too expensive. Also, from what I've heard, the concert tickets didn't sell that well so it was probably a good thing that they stuck with this sort of venue. At any rate, it was very conveniently located at a MRT/BTS station so yay for that. The acoustics were decent enough I guess but nothing to write home about. The sound system could have used some improvements though, I don't think the instruments and vocals were very well-balanced throughout most of the concert. But maybe that could be chalked up to my position in the audience. Just a little disclaimer here, I am not very tech-savvy in that regard but on more than one occasion I noticed that the sound was kinda off...Mind you, not to an extent that would have taken away from my overall enjoyment of the concert but enough for me to notice it several times.

Setlist:

the world: Will always prefer Keiko on main but it is what it is, Joelle on main is fine too. It's a good song so it's a treat to hear it live no matter who is leading. The harmonies at the end didn't quite work for me. Was a bit all over the place. I think the sound system was at fault here.

in the land of twilight, under the moon: Not usually one of my faves but I thoroughly enjoyed this rendition.

vanity: What a blessing to hear this live in concert again! My first time was in Taiwan and I don't think I ever recovered from it. Correct me if I am wrong though but they made a big change during the performance regarding Keiko's epic yayayay part. She flawlessly did her solo of course but then when Joelle starting to sing that final chorus, she didn't continue to sing in the background which she would usually do. I found that very unusual. Also checked the bootleg recordings from the live in China and she did the same thing there too. Huh...Since when did they change it? That was a bit of a bummer to be honest since the very final part felt less epic because of it.

My long forgotten cloistered sleep: So, so good!! Huge fan! Joelle is getting better at it too so I am enjoying her version more and more.

I swear: Wow, what a revelation! I did not expect to suddenly fall in love with this song. I am obviously a huge Keiko-stan but due to her using her cutesy voice in this, it's never really appealed to me. It's always been one of those songs that I preferred to skip during re-watches of home video releases because it didn't really do anything for me. This time though, it felt like Keiko was serenading me specifically (a delusion on my part of course but let me have that little fangirl moment XD). Anyway, this is what I meant earlier. All of a sudden, a song has a new meaning to you and it's only because you get to experience it on such a personal level. The lyrics couldn't be more appropriate: "♪I know, I’m in love♪"

fiction: Not my cup of tea so I tend to skip this but Joelle in particular always does a great job with this song. Her voice is a perfect fit. Definitely my favourite performance so far because I was more into it than usual.

I reach for the sun: Love, love, love.

in the garden of sinners: Damn it, this one hurt so much, I literally almost cried. I don't even really know why but I could barely handle it. All I wanted to hear was Wakana together with Keiko and honestly, it was her voice in my mind, Joelle didn't exist for me in those moments. No matter what happens, I will always associate these melodies with Wakana and Keiko. On one hand, this performance made me incredibly sad but on the other hand, it made me feel even more grateful about the upcoming Kalafina Anniversary Live. Just the thought of hearing the three of them together again is bringing tears to my eyes.

ARIA: What a shame. I knew what to expect of course but it still hurt to hear Joelle sing the chorus. Unlike others, I didn't think that Hikaru sounded all that bad so she could have definitely handled the chorus (especially being backed by Keiko). She might not have sounded her best but who cares?! This is HER song so she should be in the lead. Period. I remember someone saying that Yuki wanted to go back to the original key (more of a speculation, as far as I know, it's not actually confirmed) so she gave the chorus to Joelle but Joelle was kinda struggling with it too so ultimately, we didn't really gain anything from having her in the lead. On a side note, I am just so relieved that Keiko and Joelle didn't do the infamous arm gesture that Wakana and Keiko used to do all the time. All of this sounds rather negative but to be honest, I still liked the performance despite being a little disappointed with the vocal arrangement. it's one of my all-time favourite Kala-songs so it's always a pleasure to hear it.

Magia: By now I am used to the FictionJunction cover version of this and it's really quite good. Solid performance. No notes.

Kimi no Gin no Niwa: Again, good stuff but since I don't particularly like the song it was just okay to me.

ring your bell: Ugghhh, probably my least favourite performance of the night. It's such a difficult song to perform and I honestly don't even like most of Kalafina's live versions but this one was hard to get through. Maybe the sound system was to blame a bit because LINO LEIA's microphone did some weird stuff that made her singing sound worse than it probably was. Plus, I honestly don't think she is a very good fit for the song. Hell, not even Wakana is a good fit for the song 90% of the time. For some reason, LINO LEIA kept using her more generic singing voice when instead, she should've opted for a more controlled head voice. Towards the end we heard a more solid delivery but the rest was unfortunately a bit messy.

to the beginning: Okay I guess. It's certainly one of the better Kalafina covers they do at YKL because Joelle and Yuriko add a lot of dimension. And since I have never been a fan of the song to begin with, it's not like I am missing Wakana too much.

Yasashii Yoake: The See-Saw section of the live was so much more fun than I had expected. Actually really surprised how much I enjoyed it since I am not too familiar with Yuki's old work and don't usually listen to any of it. Also, with Keiko not playing a big role in this corner, I thought I wouldn't be into it. But I guess the songs are just really good with catchy melodies so I couldn't help but like them. Also, my proximity to the stage once again helped me to have a bit more appreciation for the music. All three songs were featured at Kaji Fes. but I don't recall them leaving a huge impression on me. Back then I didn't mind them but I didn't get too excited. This time, I was having a great time from the get-go. Love the Joelle/Yuriko duo here. Joelle's voice works super well for this type of song.

Obsession: I remember not being particularly impressed by the Kaji Fes. performance but the Bangkok version was so cool. LINO LEIA and Keiko did a great job. So cool!! After that rather mediocre "ring your bell" performance, it was nice to hear LINO LEIA sing in a more comfortable range.

Senya Ichiya: Starting to love rito's vocals more and more. She's so criminally underused during these lives. Despite being promoted to "regular" singer, she really doesn't get to do much.

the main theme of “L.O.R.D”: One of my all-time faves. Joelle's best song if you ask me. Will never get tired of hearing it. Although I feel like at this point Joelle had already run out of steam a little because the performance didn't quite hit the spot in terms of oomph-factor. I think it's because Joelle had to carry 90% of the show and was thus running on low-heat towards the end. Still had a blast!

absolute configuration: Love having all the girls on stage for these sort of epic battle songs. Gorgeous harmonies.

luminous sword: Same as above. Perfect transition and a lovely continuation of the epicness.

蒼穹のファンファーレ: Typically not one of my favourite songs but yet again, I found myself enjoying it more than I usually would. The heat on stage was contagious so I simply got swept away in the excitement.

En. the image theme of Xenosaga II: Don't remember much of this but it was nice.

En.nowhere: Wow, wow, wow! What an amazing performance. So much more energised than during the Kaji Fes concert. Definitely one of the songs where I very much appreciated my closeness to the stage. I could really feel the heat and had such a blast, especially when Keiko began to really interact with the audience. Almost made me want to stand up but in the end, I remained seated (really not the type to move a lot during a concert). I have to agree with everyone who has already shared their thoughts on the other Asia live performances, this was definitely one of the highlights for Hikaru as far as her vocal delivery was concerned. Her voice was very powerful here.

En.into the world: I love that this has become almost a staple of YKL. It's such a gorgeous song with a beautiful message and I think Joelle as well as Yuriko manage to improve the overall harmonies with their added vocals.

[dottie-wan-kenobi]

earlier I saw a tiktok saying that spideytorch is queerbaiting... the word you are actually looking for is "queer subtext" or even "queer coded"

queerbaiting is a marketing technique. it is meant to sell something. it tells the audience that MAYBE there can be canon queerness IF the audience keeps watching/buys something/votes for them/does some other action

queer coding is giving a character queer traits/storylines/moments to a character whose sexuality is not clearly stated. it's part of the story and especially back when the hays code and CCA ruled everything, characters could not be explicitly queer

(please note these restrictions from the CCA in 1954, just before Johnny and Peter were created in the early 1960s:

- Illicit sex relations are neither to be hinted at nor portrayed. Rape scenes, as well as sexual abnormalities, are unacceptable. - Sex perversion or any inference to same is strictly forbidden.

don't forget, according to the standards of the time, 'sex perversion' included queerness)

and so from the beginning, neither character could be explicitly anything other than straight. but as individuals, they both have queer subtext

I can't list everything but: Peter joking about having a chance with Luke Cage, saying he dated Moon Knight 'a little bit', his whole dynamic with Deadpool, constantly calling other men terms of endearment, his close relationships with other men... this is not queer baiting. this is queer coding. whether marvel is doing it as a form of humor or not, they're not trying to sell you something -- Peter is just a funny guy who likes to flirt with his enemies and act like he's married to all of his friends

(shout out to Andrew Garfield, the #1 biderman defender. in a better life we got genderbent MJ and Andrew didn't get fired)

as for Johnny, he has so much queer subtext I don't even know where to start. he is "flaming". every relationship he's had with a woman has failed. he has an obvious crush on namor. he's very similar to Bobby Drake, who is canonically gay. someone who wrote a story with Johnny and Daken confirmed they included sexual tension between them. there are elseworlds where he is literally canonically queer. plus there's a theory that Johnny was supposed to come out in a somewhat-recent comic but that marvel chickened out at the last second

(please go read @traincat's post on Johnny being queer coded, top 5 post of all time. also their post on that potential coming out)

I won't say there's absolutely no evidence for queerbaiting because I haven't read every comic, I haven't seen how authors all about the characters, but simply put the existence of queer moments like this are not proof on their own of queerbaiting. ultimately, these are different things. they are not interchangable. queer subtext is not a bad thing and I wish people would remember what queer baiting really is

rant over

[asco-bisco]

French Fry - Tyden

let's post this on tumblr bc y not

btw this is not beta-read and might not make sense, I'm still easing my way back into writing

---

Aiden and the others were at a restaurant for no reason other than just wanting to have fun and hang out.

But having ‘fun’ was impossible for Aiden once he joined the circular booth Taylor reserved for them thinking it was the most ideal and found himself sitting beside Tyler. Just great.

Tyler wouldn’t stop kicking Aiden’s feet under the table and it totally wasn’t because Aiden was stepping on Tyler’s shoes.

Aside from that, everything went smoothly. They were able to talk about normal things for once and everything was normal until the food came which was when Taylor who spotted Tyler’s fries wanted to play a game. 

“You guys wanna play a game?” She questioned, eyes locked on the fries lying on Tyler’s plate before looking at the others. “What game?” Logan smiled, already seeming to be excited at the mention. She took the longest fry, ignoring Tyler’s shocked face, and carefully bit on the very end of the fry.

She didn’t bite it all the way, only applying enough pressure so it wouldn’t fall out. She grinned widely and she took the fry out, guessing the others knew what she was talking about and they did. “Oh,” Logan’s eyes widened. Aiden beamed, “Loser gives up all their fries to the person next to them!”

After a challenge was set, everyone agreed.

The seating order was Taylor, Tyler, Aiden, Ben, Logan, and Ashlyn but since Taylor and Tyler didn’t want to be next to each other while doing this, Taylor moved to sit beside Ashlyn, leading to Ben and Logan swapping.

Taylor started but had to get another fry since she had already eaten the one she had earlier. She bit the end of the fry softly before turning her head to Ashlyn who took the other end carefully. Taylor bit down all the way, getting rid of the part that had already entered her mouth, and Ashlyn turned away to face Logan.

Logan did the same with Ben who did the same with Aiden who realized the fry was long enough for Tyler to bite which meant there wouldn’t be a loser which ruined the point of even starting this.

Also, Aiden wanted Tyler’s fries.

Before Tyler could lean in to bite the fry, Aiden pulled away. “What are you doing?” Tyler knitted his brows before his eyes widened as Aiden put a third of the fry in his mouth leaving nearly an inch of the fry left.

Aiden smirked at Tyler. “Just give up already,” Aiden managed to say.

“Looks like Tyler’s losing,” Ashlyn sighed. 

“Who said that?” Tyler shot a glare at Ashlyn before looking back at the fry in Aiden’s mouth. Then he leaned in but froze for a second, muttering “How do I do this…?” before falling silent.

Aiden knew Tyler was going to give up whether he liked it or not because no way was Tyler going to do this, right? Tyler was frozen, staring at the fry hesitantly, clearly ignoring whatever Taylor was saying. Aiden didn’t order fries because he’d rather get chicken fingers on the side but getting Tyler’s fries didn’t sound like a bad idea.

Suddenly, Tyler leaned in slowly while opening his mouth and Aiden could feel his face flush heavily.

Then Tyler stopped and Aiden could feel Tyler’s teeth touch Aiden’s lips slightly. Aiden could feel his heart beat loudly against his chest, it was louder than his breathing–if he even was breathing. But then Aiden felt Tyler’s lips graze his softly and he squeaked, shoulders tensing as he bit down on the fry at the same time Tyler pulled away.

Tyler had less than an inch in between his teeth before he ate the rest. “Don’t underestimate me,” Tyler smirked and looked away. 

Everyone else seemed to move on easily after that. Taylor moved back to sit beside Tyler who acted as if nothing happened, Logan and Ben switched spots, and everyone decided no one was losing their fries.

But Aiden was still stunned, not even realizing the others were trying to get his attention until Tyler had nudged his foot under the table.

“Aiden, are you okay?” He asked, raising his brow. Aiden felt his breath hitch when their eyes met.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

[magicalmadrigals]

Innocence of Intimacy - Chapter Two

So, I decided that I would continue this one shot collection that I started ages ago now so that I have something small and fluffy to add to between chapters of my multichapter. Juli's storyline is so heavy in that one, so I love having something fluffy and sweet for her and Gus in this collection. I'm gonna post the chapter under the cut, but feel free to read over on AO3 as well!

...

“Amor, would you hand me the…”

Before she had had the chance to reach the end of her sentence, she felt Gus sidle up behind her and smiled when he reached around her to add the cilantro she had chopped earlier to the pot of chicken soup she was stirring. He’d decided to help her out in la cocina this afternoon since, thanks to her hermana, there was a torrential downpour taking place outside which meant they had had no choice but to cancel their picnic plans. Initially, she’d been frustrated because they had been counting down the days all week and she had been excited for some alone time with him, but now she was actually glad this was the way things had turned out.

Her familia knew not to bother her while she was cooking since she liked to be the only one in the kitchen so she could concentrate, so they had been alone together all afternoon thus far. He had been helping her by washing and putting away the pots and utensils she’d finished up with, fetching her herbs and other ingredients she had been in need of, and just been there to watch her work and try it a number of times too. Although he had been wonderful and his help invaluable to her for the most part, there had been times when he’d been unable to help himself and he’d started nuzzling her neck.

She had indulged him for a while each time, leaning into him and chuckling when he found one of her weak spots, but she had told him to be good each time he’d turned his attention to her ears. For as long as she could remember, she’d been particularly sensitive there and she’d had no doubt that she would have lost her entire train of thought if he had gone that far. It would have been much less of an issue should they have been on their picnic, but since they were in the kitchen it was a risk she refused to take. They were surrounded by knives and scalding liquid and she could just picture the disaster.

The feeling of his hands settling upon her hips through her apron pulled her from her thoughts and she smiled when she felt the slight trembling of them. They had been courting for a little while now, but he was still slightly cautious when it came to their intimacy. He’d grown confident enough to kiss her on the cheek when he greeted her and when he brought her home following a date – well, following her climbing out of her bedroom window to meet him – but she knew a part of him was still worried he’d push his luck and make her uncomfortable. “Here,” She said gently, letting go of the spoon for just a moment so she could take his hands in her own and bring his arms to wrap snugly around her. “How does that feel?”

He tightened his hold of her with a smile. “Perfecto.”

Her face was inches from his and she could feel his breath on her skin when he spoke, prompting her gaze to fall to his lips before she caught herself and her cheeks burned when she looked up at him a second time. She hoped that it had gone unnoticed by him, but the fact his cheeks had gone almost as red as hers told her different. For some reason, she almost felt the need to apologize, but before she could open her mouth to do so he leaned in a little. He stopped right before their lips met and nudged his nose against her own, the two of them sharing one breath as she gazed up at him through her lashes and she swallowed.

“You can kiss me.” She whispered, her heart pounding within her chest.

“Ay, I want to,” He shook his head. “You don’t know how much, but…”

“But…?” She encouraged.

“Ugh, are you kidding me? Is no one safe in this casita anymore?”

The two of them all but leapt apart at the sound of Bruno’s outburst and looked his way, the sight of him standing there with a disgusted look on his face causing them to chuckle despite being a bit embarrassed at having been caught out. “Bruno, nothing was happening,” She rolled her eyes as Gus took his arms from her around her and she began to stir the pot again when it began to bubble, her brother sighing with relief as he walked into the room. “But I can use this to my advantage when you annoy me in future, so I call it a win-win situation. Well, at least for me. Not quite so much for you.”

Agustín snorted with laugher.

“Okay, first of all, rude and gross,” Bruno grumbled. “Second of all, Mamá wanted me to ask when dinner will be ready.”

“Um…20 minutes?” She shrugged.

“Good,” He rubbed his hands together. “Uh, is Gus joining us?”

She turned to look at Gus who was now leaning against the table. “Would you like to? If Mamá agrees?”

“That would be nice.” He gave her a smile.

Turrning back to her brother, she nodded at him. “Ask her for me? And at least try to sound happy while doing it, por favor.”

“If you promise not to be disgusting at the table, I’ll be as happy as you want.” Bruno scoffed.

“Promise,” She palmed a curl from her face. “Now, if you want me to get this done as soon as possible, you need to go.”

Without a word, Bruno turned and left la cocina to go and speak with their mother before she went back to cooking the soup and smiled at the sound of movement behind her. “Are we really not going to be 'disgusting’ during dinner?” Gus asked as he put his arms around her once again and rested his chin on his shoulder. “Because that was the main reason I agreed to join you all for dinner this evening if I’m being honest.”

“Oh, of course we are,” She smirked while looking back at him. “Bruno just hates us for it, so we’ll have to be discreet.”

“And how do you plan to do that? You know your mamá is going to have us sat at opposite sides of the table.”

“Don’t you know by now not to underestimate me? You know I have my ways.”

“Sí, mi amor, I do…” He chuckled, nuzzling into her neck while going back to watching her work. “I certainly do.”

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ sunday 8th of december

⋆˙⟡

today i woke up nice and comfortable in my bed,, i had been tossing and turning all night long kinda sleeping weirdly... so when i woke up this morning i decided to go downstairs and have breakfast.. psst.. i didnt have the best food day, but my weekends are always my worst food days so im not even going to hate myself anymore atp

breakfast : 4 chevape, a dot of mustard, a small babybowl of pumpkin soup, and 1 lotus cookie.

cals : 177

this time i had my breakfast actually warm.. the soup was nice and rich and creamy, it had just the right flavours and i like this way more than i did the soup out of the pack i had last month during soup diet week (which failed LMFAO). happy with my accomplishment of one lotus.. then my 4 chevape was good, there were only 4 left which meant i really couldnt overfill my plate either way

then i went back upstairs after i had this, it was good and it actually left me feeling ok. when i got myself ready to go to work i brought the lunch my mom packed with me.

lunch : a serving of pumpkin soup , chicken in one container, and in the other container some chicken and pasta. both of these portions were also satisfyingly small

cals : 321

the soup was lovely as i had described earlier, the chicken in the container came out of a pot of like.. chorba my parents were having today that i will not eat even if my life depended on it lmfaoooo. the chicken was okay, it was the only thing that was warm hahaha

then the pasta and chicken in the second container were better, i liked that it was slightly spicy ? i didnt have those.. green circle vegetables.. i dont like the texture of that thing so i threw it away

drinks : monster zero sugar ultra rosa, hot chocolate, but i only let the machine dispense 20% of the milk

cals : 52

mark gave me that monster, i chose the hot chocolate of my own accord... i watched as the milk from our coffee machine pooled down near the drain... i actually gave mark a hot chocolate but with the milk since he doesnt care, and there was a very visible difference.. what i drank was essentially water and chocolate powder, with basically a splash of milk.

work was going fine until one person just... idk threw me off and ruined my entire day ? basically i was ready to crash out at annnny second. the more the minutes ticked by, the more stressed and overwhelmed i was getting. i was actually reflecting how ive been thinking of quitting my job for a whiiile now, but since ill be going to a 40hrs a week internship, i need my weekend rest before i explode. so after my shift ended i wrote my manager a note and stuck it on the POS screen

"sorry i forgot to count the flowers... also, ill be dropping by tommorow, ill only have 5 minutes of your time" ... and well yeah tommorow im putting in my 2 weeks notice. or however.. whatvever. im quitting my job lol. went home after this crying LMFAO im so stressed

dinner : 1 tortilla thing, its very thin, a small layer of cream cheese, ketchup, 2 salami slices, that in a tosti toaster thing. then 1 apple, and some honey... idk what the chunks are probably some kind of nuts...

cals : 334

the original plan was to come home and eat 6 packs of kinder bueno making 12 kinder bueno's in total.. however i decided to ask my mom to make me something instead. she was very considerate of how i eat and my portioning, and we came up with something healthy and nourishing that would make me feel better rather than me being an idiot and binging on lots and lots of chocolate.. i did infact feel better and i know this was not needed, i couldve gone to bed, but this happens all the time after work and i just need to accept that my job like, actually stresses me out after close to the point where it makes me cry and makes me want to binge. the portion is kind of big but.. it couldve been worse. idk. tommorow im omad'ing

total steps : 6.3 k total cals : 884

i found this song while posting on my insta about my oc's and i needed a song to go with it... this is so cute !!! and so catchy, i love it ~

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[trashboatprince]

Here we go, the rewritten first part of the faerie tale wives au I have.

Crowley is a creature made of shadows and ice basically, and is cursed. We'll learn more of her curse later, but for now, just know that she is deemed a cautionary tale and legend in the area.

Summary: Aziraphale is the lone owner of her family's farm and orchard, and is preparing for an early frost when a blizzard kicks up, bringing with it an unexpected guest.

On with the fic!

--

"There we are, all snug as a bug, ready for a long night." Aziraphale smiled at her flock of sheep, all nestled in their pens in the barn. Her horse, Harry, huffed, shaking his head before moving to eat from his bag of oats.

Her chickens and rooster were all in their coop next to the barn, covered for the oncoming frost, and the bees were already rested for the season out in the fields.

Ms. Potts had informed Aziraphale earlier in the day of an earlier frost than normal for the region when she was in town, but Aziraphale already knew. She already knew when the post-harvest frost arrived.

The beautiful markings of ice on her bedroom windows told her that it was time.

It was like this every year, since long before she was born, for ages in this village and land. Just the harvest ended, the chill of winter arrived faster than it would in other areas, and this was due to the local legend of the Living Shadow.

It was just a story to explain why winter always came earlier than expected here, and really, only little children believed in the legend until they were old enough to start school. But Aziraphale believed in the tales, in the stories passed down by locals for years.

Granted, she was raised in a very religious household, where such stories were never to be believed, as they did not align well with God's teachings. But her parents used it as a warning for her, that disobedient girls who did not follow God and His Word were doomed to be cursed harlots who would forever suffer.

So, Aziraphale was meant to be a good girl and get married, have children, and read her Bible to follow the rules.

However, circumstance resulted in all but one of these happening. Yes, she read her Bible, when she attended church on Sundays and holidays, but she was unwed and expected no children in her future.

This was due to her current life, as the sole owner of her family's farm.

Her eldest, and only, brother, Gabriel, was meant to take over, but he had become a vicar instead. Father had been disappointed at first, but realized this was good, that his son took a faithful path, to which he accepted with open arms. Mother approved as well.

The second child, the first daughter, Michaela, married an officer of the royal Navy, Captain Dagon Fisher, whom Aziraphale did not like much. Mother and Father approved of this marriage, as it brought money and honor to the family.

But what of the youngest, the second daughter, Aziraphale? The odd child, the one who never accepted any marriage proposals and simply kept to her books and her farmwork?

Father and Mother were disappointed in her, but both understood that she was smart, she was resourceful, and she knew the farm even better than themselves. Aziraphale loved her home, and made sure it was kept in perfect order.

When Father became sick with a fever, resulting in death soon after, he accepted that his eldest children would never take over the farm, and there were no male extended family members who would take it, so it went to Aziraphale. Farm, land, responsibilities, all to her.

Her siblings were not thrilled, in fact, they were furious, demanding she sell the farm. Aziraphale refused, and now runs it well. She has local farmhands working the orchard during the harvest, and her cousin Muriel helps during the summer, but the rest of the time it's just her doing things.

Mother used to help, until she to passed over five years ago, which was the last time she really spent time with her siblings outside of small letters and the very rare visits when they passed through the area.

As she knew how to run her home, Aziraphale knew the rituals of preparing the farm for the early frost. For the visit from the Living Shadow.

As stated, it was simply a legend to teach children lessons and such, but it depended on the way the story was told.

One story spoke of a careless, young lady who refused to listen to reason, thinking she was smarter than all others and was always in the right. She claimed she could survive a snowstorm with no consequences while out in it, naked, dancing as if it were a summer night instead.

She was found frozen, sobbing in fear of death, and yet death did not take her. Instead, she was forced to continue her bare dance for all time.

The cautionary lesson was that one should not be so bold when they could be harmed.

The other story that was commonly told was of a young woman who was so beautiful and fair that she was constantly trailed by suitors, who she played for suckers to get what she wanted. But one did not take to her tricks in jest, and cursed her to an eternity of loneliness, to forever walk this world as a cold, bitter creature that no one could follow and approach, for fear of death at her touch, or if they looked at her hideous face.

The lesson was not to play with men's hearts, for that was devilish and evil of girls to do.

Aziraphale thought it was nonsense, because she had met the Living Shadow.

Maybe.

She was never sure, but years ago, when she was young, just after turning thirteen, she had heard something one night.

The mournful wails of the Living Shadow, the other warning of winter's approach. They sounded so sad, so heartbreaking, the sounds of someone full of only misery and angst. It had broken Aziraphale's own heart to have heard.

She felt such an air of loneliness coming from those sounds that echoed into the cold night. And... Aziraphale understood. She had cried of being lonely some nights, when she had the dark thoughts of reality hit her. She had no friends, her family didn't like her, that she was a nobody.

'I understand', she had thoughts as she looked out her window, where frost was quickly coating the glass. She saw, in the light of the moon that night, a figure.

And, without thinking much of it, Aziraphale had grabbed her shawl and boots, and had rushed downstairs as quietly as possible. She grabbed a basket and some food, jars of homemade preserves from that year's harvest, and some of the leftover bread from dinner.

She carried the basket through the fresh snow and looked at the first, shadowed completely, the wind thrashing their long hair about.

Aziraphale recalled shouting at the figure, telling her she was leaving her a gift. She set down the basket and went home.

When she had awoken the next morning, the basket was seating in the flower box outside her window, and inside were empty jars. But one was beautiful, it was decorated with intricate patterns of frost, and looked to have snowflakes perpetually floating inside. At the bottom of the jar was a strange thing, it looked like pure, black hair, slightly frosted.

The jar still sat in Aziraphale's room, hidden away for years until after she was left alone there, where it now sits on her night stand. It never melted, never changed, it was forever chilled and beautiful. Next to it were other gifts, made of ice that never melted, of animals found in the woods. Aziraphale's favorite was the nightingale.

She did this every year, leaving a basket at the start of the frost, until she was twenty, when her father caught her, and...

Aziraphale shook her head, locking the barn doors behind her as she left, shuddering as a strong gust of wind kicked up. She frowned, seeing that the snow has already started, and it was coming down fast.

"Oh, bother." She wrapped her arms around herself and hurried home. A blizzard this early was rare, but it had happened before. The worst she remembered had been the same night she had been caught, she remembered the wailing has been nightmarish.

She remembered crying and apologizing over and over when she finally could go outside again to do her chores, hoping the Living Shadow heard her. She never knew if she did. SHe didn't know why she had been so upset. Maybe it was because she couldn't communicate with her friend.

As Aziraphale made it back inside, just as the storm picked up, she wondered if she should bring back the baskets. But it was too dangerous to go out now, not without risking her safety. So, for now, Aziraphale decided to make herself comfortable and bunker down for the long, winter's night.

It would be hours later, when Aziraphale was cozied up in front of the fire, a book in her hands, when she heard the familiar cries over the howling winds. She got right up from her seat and rushed to the window, looking out at the storm. It had died down, just a little, allowing for her to see some shapes, like the trees of the front gate to her home.

There, just past the gate, was a figure, with hair thrashing about in the wind, screaming in anguish. Aziraphale swallowed, watching the Living Shadow, just as she had that night all those years ago.

She bit her lip, wondering if this would be a good idea, or a terrible mistake... and she moved to the door, opening it.

"Excuse me!" She screamed out into the night, hoping she was heard over the winds. "Please, come inside! Away from the storm! You maybe enter my home!"

This was a terrible idea, even if she was a story, she could be trouble. Aziraphale was raised to believe in God, but she also believed that there were fair folk in these lands, and things that went bump in the night.

'Please, don't make me regret this...' She thought, watching the figure, who had stopped screaming and crying. Then she watched her move, and it got deathly quiet all of a sudden.

The Shadow was fast, much faster than any creature, great or small, that Aziraphale knew of. The figure stood at least three meters away now, quite a distance from where she had been seconds ago.

She was shrouded in black, and Aziraphale couldn't see her face. But she heard her, a soft, cautious voice. "You wish for me to come inside?"

"Yes," Aziraphale said, finding her voice, "please, it's a bad storm tonight. Better to be in a stranger's home than out in this weather."

And now she was there, on the doorstep, right at Aziraphale's face. She could see the face of the local legendary creature, the cautionary tale in person.

Her skin was pale, too pale, like that of the dead, with strange black scars, frostbite? Tears has been streaming from her eyes, and Aziraphale found herself lost in them. They were strange, unusual, like those of a snake, and yet they were gorgeous in their own right.

Oh, such thoughts...

"Thank you." Came the whispered voice, and she moved inside, passing Aziraphale, sending a shiver up her spine, as if a cold breeze entered her body.

"Y-you're welcome..." Aziraphale swallowed, closing the door and locking it, hoping she wouldn't regret this.

One did not let monsters into their home, right?

TBC

--

Crowley's features are human enough, but she looks like a frostbitten corpse in a sense, like, she's got it on her nose and her hands, part of her curse to make her 'ugly'. Her hair is black in this, and is alive, which she uses to cover herself, hence her name, the Living Shadow, as she looks like one from a distance.

[bouncybongfairy]

A New Type Of Fear: Part 2

Donatello x Fem Reader

Summary: After meeting Donnie after the chess competition, he walks you home and you invite him to hang at your house for the rest of the night.

Word Count: 3k+

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Part 3 is now posted!

You were walking with Donnie down the alley ways because he obviously couldn't be seen. You were still a bit shaken up over what happened before he got there. You had more important things on your mind. This was the first time you'd seen what Donnie looked like, and obviously his physical appearance was jarring. He was extremely tall and kept complaining about how you needed to talk louder because he couldn't hear you. He was a full head, shoulders and then some above you. You were taking in all the little details he was made up of. Like his hands, he only had three fingers on each. Once you guys finally got home, it wasn't hard to sneak him into your room. Your mom was already home in bed. You directed Donnie into your room and shared the good news with your mom. She was happy but you could tell she was exhausted from the day. When you came back to your bedroom, you laughed at how Donnie was standing. Like he was afraid that even resting his gaze on an object would cause it to break. You sat on the bed and started emptying your bag. 

"Sorry, I know my room is kinda messy," you said. 

"No, I'm just looking around at your posters and stuff. I'm almost certain that 90% of your walls are covered," he said. 

"Yeah, some of them are really old, like JoJo's Bizarre Adventures poster. My older brother got that in like 2006 at a random convention," you said, pulling your phone out of your bag. 

"One time, I tried to convince my dad to let me go to an anime convention. I explained to him what cosplay was and how I think I could get away with it. Obviously he said no," he said, setting some of his gear on the ground next to your bed. 

"Yeah about that, now looking back I feel really bad for pressuring you. Obviously there was a good reason for wanting to hind this part of you. So I'm really sorry about that," you said, playing with your fingers but trying to keep eye contact to keep things sincere. 

"Well, thank you for the apology but I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. I don't think I ever would have had the courage to meet you in person without a little.. encouragement," he said. You smiled and couldn't help but laugh a little. This entire situation was just so weird. 

"Have you ever had Italian food?" you asked while scrolling through take-out options on your phone. 

"Pizza but not from an Italian place," he said. 

"No I meant like baked ziti, chicken cutlets, lasagna or like sausage and peppers. More traditional foods you know? There's this place in Midtown that doesn't even open until 11pm. The owner says it's because the clientele he's looking for don't come out any earlier than that. I know it sounds a little glorified but the food is really good, the delivery charge isn't too bad either," you said scrolling through the menu before continuing, "or do you have to be home by a certain time?" you asked. 

"Not everyone was asleep when I left so I should be good for at least a couple of hours," he said, adjusting his glasses. 

Once you ordered the food you put your phone on the charger and began talking. Asking each other questions about the ins and outs of your lives. You asked him about his brothers and martial arts. Even though he was keeping his identity a secret, he was still very honest about his life. This really impressed you and it also showed that he's a very trustworthy person. He explained how he lived in the sewer but assured you that it isn't as bad as it sounds. He told you about the set of his house, like where they eat and the room she shares with his brothers. It was nice hearing about all the stories he had to tell about his family. You had an older brother but he left for college by the time you were 5. It's always just been you and your mom for the most part, you thought it must be nice to have people your age who understand everything you go through. You told him about your school and how the other kids acted; he was curious about the social pyramid because they always put so much emphasis on this concept in the media. 

You told him it was similar but much more subtle. The bullying is more micro aggressive than direct and this made him laugh. He was shocked when you showed him your homework, he thought you'd be learning more advanced math and science. He showed you how a couple of his devices worked which fascinated you. You got the notification that the food arrived so you quickly went out to get it. You showed him one of your favorite shows at the time which was Steven Universe. He ended up really liking it, all that was ever on their T.V at home was MTV. Apparently it was the only channel that his brothers could all agree on. He also really liked Italian, you were amazed at how much food he could eat in one sitting. You ate a little bit of everything and were full leaving the rest of Donnie; he was in love with it. 

"I don't know if it's because I've only been eating pizza but this is the best thing I've ever had," he said, shoving a big bite of ziti into his mouth. 

"Well good, I'm glad you like it," you said, taking a sip of lemonade out of your styrofoam cup. 

"Thank you for giving me the motivation to, you know, break the wall I had made between us. Not going to lie, this may sound creepy but when I saw you playing chess earlier tonight, I thought about turning back. I mean, you looked so pretty, especially with your concentrated face. I couldn't help but think about your reaction if you saw me. Like I would freak you out or scare the hell out of you; and in turn all this work we put into each other would be flushed down the drain. I'm really happy that things ended up this way. This is the most fun I've had. I can't remember how long," he said, wiping his mouth.

"I'm really happy to hear that, I just don't want you to feel on edge. I respect you need to be private, I just don't want you to think I'll tell anyone," you said. 

"No I don't think that, I probably would have thought that if you had run away," he said, putting some trash into the plastic bag that the food came in. 

After you guys ate, you just kept talking. He was asking you questions about current pop culture and in turn you were asking about his home and family. You felt like you kept having to regulate how much you were smiling. It just felt so nice to break the distance and it was even better knowing that he wasn't that different from how he acts over the phone. The sunrise was going to happen in about 15 minutes so Donnie had to leave. You were sad to see him go but he reassured you that he would call you later. Yesterday was a sunday, and you practically had to throw yourself out of bed to get ready for school. The only reason you went is because you had a chess club meeting after. You wanted a chance to rub it in Benjamin's face that you won. He was always making micro aggressive comments to you and you wanted to shut him up while your victory was fresh. 

You were sitting in your vanity putting on a bit of makeup. Your mom walks in and asks you a bit more in detail about the competition. You told her about it and how you were excited to tell your friends. She told you she was proud and that she would be working late tonight. Once you left for school and made your way to the subway, all you could think about was the night before. The feelings of butterflies were still there but some logistical concerns about the relationships definitely gave you anxiety. It was important for Donnie to stay out of the public eye, and you fully respect and plan on honoring that. You can't help but be saddened about the limits this can put on your relationship. Going out on dates like to the movies or out at the mall. Not being able to introduce him to your mother. Would you even be able to have a wedding? He wouldn't be able to go to your graduation which meant alot to you. It felt scary to be in the unknown when it comes to your relationship. You got to school and practically had to hold your eyes open with your fingers to stay awake. Your friends all questioned you at lunch as to why you were so groggy. 

"You look like you've been craving sleep for years," your friend Jess said, taking a bite of the mash potatoes and turkey that the cafeteria was serving. 

"Yeah, I was up all night on my phone," you said. 

"With Donnie?" she asked, raising her eyebrows up and down. 

"Yeah, I think we really made a breakthrough in our relationship last night. I don't know, I feel like we both take the relationship more seriously than ever before," you said, taking a bite of your sandwich. 

"Do you love him?" she asked you, changing her tone to come off as a bit more serious. 

"I don't know. I don't think I do quite yet because if I did I wouldn't be scared to say it. I definitely more than like him but I don't think I can say love yet," you said. 

"Love is crazy," she said, demolishing an entire carton of milk. 

"Yeah," you sighed before resting your head on your hand and picking at your lunch. 

~

The bell finally rang, releasing you from your last class. When you told Mrs.Cleverson about how you won the chess competition, she bought you a frappuccino for her lunch and brought it back for you. You were very grateful because it did perk you up a little. You walked into the classroom and saw Benjamin sitting in front of the chess board; he always claimed white because he loved making the first move on the board. He was so egotistical and it drove you crazy, he wasn't confident but more cocky. It drove you so crazy. 

"Y|N! Congrats on winning that chess tournament yesterday. These amateurs better watch out right?" Mr.Davidson jokes. You returned the sassy little grin that Ben had given you when you walked in. After a couple moves on the board Ben finally breaks the silence. 

"You know if I were there you wouldn't have won right?" he asked clearly in a rhetorical way. 

"Oh I'm sure. You know if you were truly confident in your skills, you wouldn't feel the need to shit talk the entire time. You shouldn't focus that brain power on the game," you said. 

"I'm just stating facts, if you interpret that as shit talking it might be you projecting your insecurities onto these said facts," he said. 

"Whatever makes you sleep at night, but I believe what happens on the board is most important," you said, taking his bishop. 

"Hmm, did you get that line from a pinterest board?" he asked. 

"No I actually got it from your mom," he looked up from the board and scowled at you, without responding. Your heart was racing from adrenaline, seeing him mad and looking around at our peers to see their reaction was so satisfying. 

The game continued for a while, just gathering each others pawns and claiming territory. The best games were always the ones that lasted the longest. As much as it killed you to admit, Ben was a great chess player which is why your games with him always lasted so long. He checked you and you wanted to punch him in the face. 

"I guess you're right, it's what happens on the board that counts. I'll let you contemplate this moment for the rest of the night. It kinda makes me blush that you'll be thinking of me all night," he said laughing, grabbing his bag. It was 2 hours since the match started and all your peers had gone home already. You sat in your seat and waited for him to leave before you or your stuff together. You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing any type of reaction from you.

After getting your stuff together you took the subway back home. You mom had texted you that she was working a double and wouldn't be home for the night. Even though you barely got any sleep last night, you were pretty restless. You had taken a shower, washed the day and your make up away. You put on a hoodie and boyshorts, along with a pair of socks. You had called Donnie and told him about what happened at school. 

"He was just trying to get under your skin and fluster you. He knows he can't beat you unless you're off your game," he said, trying to console you. 

"Yeah I guess you're right. It just bothers me how he was all like: I'LL lEaVe yOu To tHiNk aBoUt tHis aLL nIghT. Because now what am I doing, talking about it to you," you said. 

"Yeah he said that so you would think about it. Think of it like.. reverse psychology. You're way too smart to fall for that," he said. 

"It's just so-" you were interrupted by hearing something coming from the kitchen. 

"What is it?" he asked, not sure why you paused. 

"I think I heard something coming from the kitchen," you said, getting up and walking towards your bedroom door. 

"Like a person?" he asked a bit more seriously. 

"I don't know, don't say that though. My mom is working tonight so don't make me paranoid," you said. 

"Well, maybe I can come over and check it out for you?" he asked. 

"Are you just looking for an excuse to come over?" you accuse him playfully. 

"No! I mean.. I just-" he began to panic. 

"I'm just messing with you, of course I want you to come over. It would make me feel better if you looked around a bit," you said. 

"I'll be over soon," he said, hanging up. 

Your stomach flipped a bit, it made you feel special that he wanted to come over to make sure you were okay. Even if he was just making an excuse to come over, that didn't bother you one bit. You were excited to see him, you almost needed to see him again to believe this was real. Nothing for nothing but the whole human turtle half breed was just strange. It would shock anyone and with everything you had going on it just added to more of your stress. Not in a bad way, it's not like you got nervous or anxiety ridden when thinking about him. Not at all, but thinking about some of the adversity that you would have to face or wouldn't have a chance to. You pushed those thoughts out of your mind and focused on how excited you were to see him. He showed up not too long after, as soon as he got there he began searching the closets and underneath the beds. It was endearing to watch, it made you feel so comforted to see him worried about you. Especially after the incident in the alleyway, like he was going out of his way to make sure you felt safe.

After he 'cleared the area' he went back to your room to hang out. You laugh at his terminology which puts a bashful look on his face. He sat on the bean bag facing the bed when you were sitting up with your legs crossed. You wanted him to come sit on your bed with you but he was worried that he was so big he'd break it. You eventually convince him to lay with you, the bed creaks a bit when he puts his full body weight onto it. He moves his arm so that you can use it as a pillow and start talking more about what a smug asshole Ben is. 

"Maybe because I have a lot of stress with school work, my mom working so much and the fact that I didn't sleep too much. I think that's the reason why it bothered me so much, just a build up of things," you said. 

"Definitely, sleep deprivation can cause irritability. That's probably why his mindless comments got under your skin, and is 100% why he beat you," Donnie said, gently moving a piece of hair out of your face. 

"You're so sweet, I'm really happy I got to see you today. I think I needed this," you said, playing with his fingers till you eventually fall asleep. 

~

Donnie laid their in silence with Y|N for a while. He was happy that you had finally fallen asleep. Not because he didn't want to hang out with you or anything. He just knew that you were running on empty all day. He thought it was cute to see you all mad about Ben, of course it upset Donnie how bothered you were but he knew it was mostly because you were crabby from a lack of sleep. He had no idea what time her mom would be home so he quickly wrote a note that read: Had to go home, call me when you wake up <3. He put it on top of the keyboard on your laptop and closed it. He didn't want your mom to see the note and question you about it. After grabbing his gear and attaching himself to himself, he leaned down to give you a kiss on the forehead. On his way home all he could think about was you, he felt lucky. He was well aware of the fact that meeting you in person could cause so many problems. It questioned his faith in Splinter, he had been told from so young that he can't trust human society. Yet here he was, in a relationship that was getting more serious by the day.. with a human. 

He thought the hardest part of this entire situation was to show himself to you; he was completely wrong. It was trying to navigate having such a big secret with his family. Once he got home from Y|N's house, he snuck back into the sewer. Splinter said he would be out today, running frivolous errands. Donnie was hoping he had made it home before he had gotten back. All his brothers asked him about where he had gone and he made an excuse about wanting to check the status of a lead they had been pursuing for a couple weeks. This didn't raise any eyebrows with the brothers because they all would make excuses here and there for a chance to be out for a couple hours. Splinter came into the house holding 5 boxes of pizza which all 4 boys including Donnie attacked. As they ate, Splinter hovered over Donnie for a second and kindly whispered, 

"We have much to talk about tonight," he said, giving him a reassuring smile. This made Donnie choke on his Pizza for a second. 

[yuyu1024]

Reflection

Pairings: Wooyoung × y/n

Genre/tags: fuck buddies

Warning: 🔞 a little fluff, smut/angst, semi public, unprotected sex, pet names

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 1.6k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: reposting all my stories one by one again as I deleted my acct by mistake. All of the stories I will be posting is all mine. (All of my fanfics/oneshots are also available wattpad @/shinestar1024)

Finally it's my rest day! I am done with my laundry and sort of cleaning my whole apartment. I am so tired but sleeping or just laying around is none of my options for today.

I got a text from Wooyoung that their schedule today for practice will end earlier today so they can have time to rest. They are not rushing the practices as they have a lot of time still before the comeback. So, I decided to hurry things up for my day so I can drop by his company to visit him and see him. Even his members. I miss hanging out with them too. They are the sweetest.

Wooyoung and I haven't seen each other for a while now. We usually just chat and video call each other daily but that's not enough. We miss each other dearly. He tried sneaking out a few times. We usually meet in the park or in a parking lot somewhere but barely had an hour to ourselves. He's too busy.

Ugh. I miss my boyfriend. I miss his hugs and kisses.

"Look who's here to visit!" Mingi says outloud, almost yelling, when I entered the practice room.

I greet everyone, giving them the biggest smile.

"Long time no see!" San approaches me and gives me a hug. "What food did you bring?" His attention went from me to the food I am carrying.

"It's not much but... I brought 2 boxes of chicken and 4 orders of pizza." I point at the box Yunho is carrying behind me. "He helped me carry the food.." I add

"Yes!! Chicken!!" Yeosang cheers and takes the food from me. "Let's go to the pantry and eat!"

"Yaaah!! Give me chicken too!" Mingi runs after Yeosang and the rest follows.

"Join us if you want... or...." San looks at me and then at Wooyoung who is across the room sitting down on the floor, back on the wall, resting. "Stay here and be with him..."

"We'll just join you after." Wooyoung answers as he stands up.

"Okay then... I'll just notify everyone not to come here for awhile." San smirks and then quietly leaves the pratice room, closing the door shut.

I quietly laughed at how he walked out.

"I missed seeing those dimples..." His hand slides from behind, hugging me and holding me tight around my waist.

"I missed you too." I tilt my head on the side, looking back at him. "How are you?"

"Better, now that you're here." He lowers his head to give me a smooch on the lips. "You look so beautiful..." he whispers

"You too... well actually.." I loosen up his hands around my waist so I can twirl around and face him. "You look hot." I say, grinning

"Do I?" He smiles and tugs my loose hair behind me ear. "Thank you for visiting me during practice..."

"I know you're busy so... it's okay. Plus.. I am a fan too. I am also excited for your comeback so I understand."

"I'm so lucky..." he scrunches his nose as he lay his forehead on mine.

"By the way... Aren't we going to join them to eat? Aren't you hungry?"

"I am hungry..."

"Let's go then!"

He stops me mid-way, grabbing me by the wrist.

"I didn't meant hungry for food..." he says under his breathe.

He places the hand he took around his neck while his other hand scoops me back to his embrace.

"San locked the door... Mingi, Yeosang and Hongjoong eat quite slow... the other members will not leave then until they're done..."

"Ahm... what?"

He tilts my head back to get more access on my neck. "It means... we... have... time..." he says in between kisses. "I can't wait until they let us go home... I want you... now..."

I moan at every mark he leaves on my kiss.

"Oh y/n..." he breathes

I start to kiss him back. My hands holds onto his muscular arms for support. I feel like I'm melting in every kiss and caress he does on my body.

"Please... let me... have... you.. now..." he says while we our devouring each other.

I gave him a small nod as I try to catch my breathe.

He growls with exictement as he lifts me up. My legs wrapped around him. We continue to kiss as he walks me to the corner of the room my back is now leaning on the wall. I can see our reflection from the mirror across the room.

Oh gosh, we looked like hayennas. We are literally all over each other. And if anyone peaks through the door, they'll see us. It's making my heart pound but I'm not worried at the same time. Like I don't give a shit if they see us.

"Take your top off." He says as he puts me down.

I do what he asked me to do. Whislt I am unbuttoning my blouse, he starts to undress himself too. Starting from his hoodies to his black tank top.

He is massive. Wooyoung have been working out with San and it is showing now. He's arms are thick and his chest and shouldets are wider than before. I can barely see myself now through the mirror. He's covering me.

"God..." he snarls, "You look so perfect." His chest moving fast. "I hope san told them to just go home and leave us be. Coz, I want to enjoy this." His hands cups my laced covered breasts. "They fill up my hands.. they're beautiful." He pushes down my bra, lowers his head and starts to lick the tip sending an amount of sensation throughout my whole body.

"Aah!" Throwing my head back, covering my mouth as I moan his name at every lick. "Shit!" I gasp as he puts it in his mouth and suck. "My baby!" I cry

His free hand crawls down, rubbing and caressing my core. I should've worn an easy access dress instead of jeans but it doesn't matter. My knees are already shaking just the though of his hands on it.

"Fuck!" He grunts "I need to get in now..." he hurriedly pulls down his pants along with his boxer brief. He is hard and ready. "I want to do this slowly.... make you feel good... but I'm going to loose my mind if I don't feel yout warmth now."

"I don't care." I say as I unzip my pants, let it ripple under my fit and kick it off. "Fill me in, my baby."

He carries me up again, my core on the right spot. He gently eases his way in. Holy shit. He's so big!

I arch my back, moving my hip lightly to be in the right position. "Y-you fucking feel amazing baby!" I say

"You're so wet for me, y/n. Ugh. I'm so turned on!" He hisses.

He starts to move his hip in a slow beat first. Slow but fucking hitting the right spot. Each hump makes me gasp and cry his name.

"Go faster... now.. please...let me come.." I beg

"My pleasure..." he kisses me on the lips. Our tongue dances in each other's mouth as his thrust like there's no tomorrow

Holy hell. I will never knew that he had been dancing since this morning, practicing based on how he fucks me right now. I can't believe this man's stamina.

"W-wooyoung!" My eyes rolls as I close them, "I... ahhhhh... Yes!"

"Come for me baby. Let's me taste you after."

"Ah!!" I hold on tight on his stone shoulder as I release and let go. "Oh baby..." I can feel myself, wet and weak.

Kissing me on the cheek, "that was perfect... I love it when you scream my name."

"Woo..." I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him hard again. Biting his lower lip when I get a chance. "Clean me up please..."

His grin grows wider. "Of course."

Spreading my legs apart, I give him access to my dripping core. His tongue glides along giving me tingling sensation throughout my body. It feels so good.

I watch myself through the mirror. Almost naked, my blouse hanging on for dear life on my shoulders and sweaty. My hands are on his head, gripping onto his hair to make myself be steady so he can clean me up in and out.

But then as I watch our reflection, I noticed something different than before. A shadow. Someone is at the door, peaking through the glass. I can't see him clearly but I could sense that he's enjoying what he sees.

Suddenly I felt naughty. I wanna show him more. So, I start to play with myself while eyeing him. I squish my boobs and play with my hard nipples. My mouth is open, moaning that my soul is almost leaving my body. Wooyoung is sensational.

"Baby!" I throw my head back, barely closing my eyes. I want to see the man's reaction. "C'mon..." I mumble under my breathe

And the man didn't disappoint. I could see him stroking himself, leaning his back on the wall outside but being careful.

"Baby..." I tap on woo. "Someone is watching.."

He stops and look at the mirror. "I see..." he stands up and kisses me on my forehead. "I think I know who is it." He snorts a smile.

"What should we do?"

"Let's show him more."

"More? Here?"

"No... stay with me at our dorm tonight. We have our own rooms now... let's just invite him over." Woo licks my ears as he whispers, "I'm sure San would love to join us."

[smolghostbot]

A Little Role Playing

Because this scenario was rotating in my brain like a rotisserie chicken for at least a week. This was meant to be more of a microfiction but turns out I can't be brief to save my life.

(in my anxious opinion this is a little bit zestier than what I would normally post but it's still firmly a g/t story. Just keep that in mind.)

Word Count: 1.5k

CWs: consensual fearplay gone too far, mouthplay and vore vibes, vague spicytime allusions and that is definitely the intent but the fun turns unfun before anything serious happens

======

“I- I’ll never tell you anything, human!” shouted the diminutive voice at the towering form in front of them.

“Hehehe… I have ways of making a tiny little thing like you talk…,” spoke the form, a man named Evan. He quickly changed his tone, though, as he added in a whisper, “Was the laugh too much? Too on-the-nose?”

“The laugh was fine, babe, but don’t overdo it,” quietly responded Avery, caught in Evan’s loose fist. After quickly clearing their throat, they continued shouting, “I’ll never talk! You’ll never get me to reveal where my town is! I’ll take our secret to the grave, on my honor!”

Evan rolled his eyes at this. The human had regularly questioned why his borrower partner was so in love with this scenario, but based on their past experiences, it was always the one that made Avery tick. Evan simply played along as best as he could on days where they agreed to play out Avery’s fantasies, and this was one such day.

“Now now, little borrower, that’s a lot of words, but not a lot of answers. I said to tell me where your town is, or else!” Evan growled, as his fist gave a quick squeeze to Avery.

“N-never!”

“Very well then… if you’re no good as an informant, I could find another use for you…” the human said, giving himself time to think over what to do as a threat. They had played this little game often, and this was always the part where things tended to diverge. What direction things progressed in depended on the mood of the two partners, but Avery was very clear about what they wanted out of their game tonight: Scare me.

Evan thought back to when they first met, when he had discovered Avery attempting to steal food from his pantry. The little thing was terrified of Evan back then, begging and pleading for their life before Evan had even said a word. From the sound of it, Avery was missing that thrill, that exciting fear of being caught by a human, and Evan decided to commit to the act in order to please his partner.

“Hm… what to do with you…” he murmured, before they were both caught off-guard as Evan’s stomach loudly rumbled. Evan decided to run with this as inspiration as he continued his ��evil” speech… this was a direction things hadn’t gone in before.

“You know… if you won’t say anything of help to me, perhaps you could help me in another way…” Evan spoke, as he did his best diabolical grin. He saw Avery’s face begin to pale as they were moved closer to the human’s mouth.

“H-hey, wait, I don’t know what you’re thinking about, but…” stammered Avery, in what sounded like their role-playing voice. That simply wouldn’t do, thought Evan, as he spoke again.

“Oh? Your wandering eyes tell me that you know exactly what I’m thinking about, tiny one. Tell me where the others are, or I may help myself to the nice little snack in my hand…”

The fear in Avery’s voice was quickly becoming more real. “H-hey, uh, I don’t know if I like the direction this is going…” They said, as they gulped in nervousness. Evan only continued to smile as he spoke, “What’s wrong? I thought you wanted to be scared? Is the little nugget chickening out?”

Avery could only stutter as they thought of what to say. “C-come on, Ev, we’ve talked about how terrifying this kind of thing is to me… you were supposed to, um, you know…”

Unfortunately, their words fell on deaf ears as Evan began to laugh, a laugh which was somewhere between their fake laugh from earlier and the real deal. He continued to hold his borrower partner near his mouth, moving them out of his fist and into a loose grip, held between his index finger and thumb. “What’s wrong, little borrower? You wanted to be afraid, didn’t you? You love being afraid… I bet you’ve been wanting me to do this for ages, haven’t you?”

“N-no, no seriously Evan, not like this… knock it off…” whimpered Avery, being sure to emphasize the use of Evan’s name, which was their signal that things were turning very real.

“Oh no, is the little one getting scared? Tell me you’re scared and maybe I’ll let you go… maybe,” chuckled the human.

“Evan… I- I know you won’t hurt me, b-but, you’re acting very weird right now… it’s scaring me… can we change the script?” pleaded Avery, who was staring at the grinning, gaping maw that was moving right in front of them.

Evan chuckled, now was his chance to truly give his partner the adrenaline rush they craved. “The script? There’s no script, little borrower. This is very, very, real… and you’re about to become a very little meal… any last words?”

The fear on his partner’s face was palpable, and Evan could feel Avery’s heartbeat soaring. “Evan… Evan stop. Safe word time. Evan… Evan!” They cried, as Evan moved them closer to his mouth. Avery could feel the human’s breath on their skin as they were more close enough that Evan could easily bite down on them.

“S-s-seriously, Evan, Evan stop! Th-this isn’t funny! Game’s over! S-stop!”

But Evan ignored their pleas, gently moving the borrower close to their tongue, and giving them a small, but still gentle lick across the front of their body, causing Avery to shiver in fear.

“H-hey, s-stop! Say something! Stop this! Evan, I know this isn’t you!” Avery cried, desperate for this game to end. The human leaned their head back, so that the terrified borrower was dangling above the gaping mouth. As the human’s eyebrows furrowed, Avery continued to plead.

“Evan, Evan please, don’t do this, I-I don’t know what I did to upset you but this isn’t the solution, we can talk about this, please! I… I don’t want to die, Evan, please! I’m sorry, for whatever I did I’m sorry!”

With that, Evan smiled a devious grin, before moving Avery down closer to his mouth… and giving them a quick kiss. “Was that the fear you-” he started to say, before noticing something was off. That kiss tasted… different than usual. As the human looked down at their partner, it became obvious that Avery was sobbing, face covered in tears. “P-please, please Evan don’t do this, please…” was all they kept muttering to themself, seeming to ignore the kiss entirely.

“Woah, hey, hey Aves, it’s okay,” Evan quickly stated, as he finally realized he may have gone too far. “You… you know I was just playing, right? It wouldn’t have been scary if I just stopped. You wanted me to be scary, remember?”

Avery was clearly in shock at they stammered, trying to form words. “I… I wanted you to scare me, not… not threaten to eat me! What… why would you… why did you do that?!”

“Woah, Aves, calm down, calm down, let me just, uh, put you down…”

“Don’t… don’t ‘Aves’ me right now, Evan! You almost killed me!” cried the borrower.

Evan knew that he should be calm, but he couldn’t help  but rise to anger at Avery’s accusations. “I wasn’t going to actually eat you! I was just trying to scare you, like you asked me to do! You were the one whining that I was too predictable, so I mixed it up! You’re welcome!”

Avery flinched at Evan’s voice raising, and Evan could tell that Avery was uncharacteristically fearful. Normally, the little borrower was actually the more pushy one in the relationship, so to see them buckle like this was heartbreaking to Evan. “I- I’m sorry… I-I guess I did… y-you’re right, just… d-don’t do it again… please…”

Evan sighed and took a deep breath before trying to talk again. “Aves… I mean, Avery… I should be the one apologizing, I took things too far, but I just wanted to make you happy…”

“Just… just put me down, Evan.”

Evan complied, and placed Avery down on the floor, before getting on his knees on the floor to be as level as possible with the borrower.

“Look, I’m sorry… How about we wind down, watch some movies, and share an ice cream? We still have some of your favorite flavor left…” said Evan, trying to keep his tone as quiet as possible. However, the borrower had other plans.

“I… I want to go home… sorry, I think I just need… a little break from human time for now…”

Human time, Evan repeated mentally. That was a term Avery hadn’t used since they first started dating, when they were overwhelmed with the sheer size of the human, and needed to be around people their own size for a while.

“I… understand… I’m sorry again, Avery. Can you… forgive me? Please?”

“... I’ll be back in a day or two… we can talk then.” was all Avery said, as they turned and quickly walked towards the borrower hole in the wall.

[milflewis]

Please do more of the Yukierre fake dating AU, I'm quite invested now. (I am from that "they're looking at us" one)

prev fic.

They come out at pretty much the same time. It wasn’t planned.

Or, well, Yuki’s wasn’t planned. Pierre’s was — months upon months of Pierre talking to Lewis over the phone, early in the morning, sun just peeking over the tops of buildings, having seen the way his smile lived in the lines on his face in between drivers briefings and race weekends, the rainbow flag on his helmet then saying to the world something more than allyship; weeks and weeks of video chats with Sebastian, who never had all the answers, whose career both with and not with Redbull was so completely different from Pierre’s but whose advice was hoarded all the same.

Pierre had told all his family; not one by one individually but group by group. Not that he wasn’t straight, not that he was bisexual, but that he was coming out as not straight, coming out as bisexual.

He had let Alpine know a working week — five business days — before he announced it. “Give them time to react, to prepare, to strategise pr amongst themselves,” Lewis had said, eyes kind. “But not enough for them to really worry, not enough for them to do anything.”

The paddock had exploded, the media having a field day.

When Lewis had come out two years earlier, six months before he retired, the racing world cracked wide open. For all that there had been speculation over the years, a lot of it slimy and disingenious, based on his clothes and his proud support of anyone other and the gentle way he moved through the paddock, sparkling from ears to nose to fingers, it had still come as a surprise to many.

Most of the drivers had stood by him — or at the very least, not stood against him. Fernando’s reaction had made Pierre stop, unsure on how he thought he’d respond but knowing that he wouldn’t have guessed this.

Lewis had only laughed when being faced with the clip of Fernando giving out; his first race win in over a decade outshone by Lewis’s announcement, “Stop asking me about Lewis and penises. Who cares. I won, he lost, did you not see me win?”

Pierre is sure that it wasn't a coincidence that Sebastian turned up at the race following Lewis's coming out.

His coming out video had 4, 452, 981 more views than his retirement announcement. Both broke the internet; Formula One once again seeping into mainstream media.

A handful more drivers stood with Pierre when he eventually came out, a perfectly planned instagram post with a caption that had been edited and edited and edited.

The buzz of it all was finally dying down - Pierre being asked more racing questions than not - when Yuki, exhilarated and giddy and pink-cheeked, sweat damp under his eyes, straight from his second race win with Mercedes, said, unthinking to an inane fluff question about the dating, "Hmm? Yes. I was seeing someone, very casual, but no longer. He couldn't keep up with all the flights and countries! I understood him."

Yuki had even laughed after, moving away quickly to join Ted, eager to talk about the race, his pr attaché left pale behind him.

A lot of people had expected Yuki to shrug it off, say how difficult it is to filter questions through two languages and back again, especially right out of the car, to do another oh, sorry, sorry, it's like when I called Pierre a boyfriend or girlfriend years ago haha. A slip of the tongue.

Yuki had not meant to say it, that Pierre knows. He's sure he had stewed over it for weeks, angry with himself, frustrated at something so stupid. Pierre could picture the shape of his jaw, the tilt of his chin.

Yuki hadn't laughed it off - not that Pierre had thought he would. Yuki had never been one to blink first, to call chicken when he was still in the race.

One month and three weeks. That was the gap between them. Seven weeks. Close enough for people to joke - and not joke - about how maybe they were connected.

And it would've been - a joke that is - if Yuki had rolled his eyes and laughed when asked, a race later. But instead, he had stared the camera down, face blank, team coat sipped up to his throat, and said, "I am here to talk about the car. Not who is in my bed."

Or maybe, if Pierre is being honest with himself, which is something he tries to do nowadays, it wasn't because of Yuki and his refusal to play along with the media, maybe it was how Pierre went bright red, choking on his straw, and a little wide-eyed, when he was asked. The way his voice broke on Yuki's name as he tried to answer was equally as damning.

Turns out, having two drivers, who have a history together that fans already adore, especially when only one of them is regularly at the front, date is great for viewership. And Mercedes had been gathering pro-LGBTQ+ whatever sponsorships for a while now since Lewis, so they stood firm behind Yuki and pushed and pushed and pushed until Alpine agreed.

(The blurry photos from last year's end of season party where Pierre is helping Yuki up, hands on his waist, head bent low, and Yuki is looking up, face turned towards Pierre, and it looks like it's more than it is, more than just two friends, didn't help.)

And so, they fake date. Which is - fine, Pierre supposes. Except for the part that he's been in love with Yuki since Alpha Tauri - known it since that first year in Alpine - and Yuki, well, Yuki doesn't love him back, now does he?

[cicada-circuitry]

#God tho this does make me want to pull back up that notebook fic snippet i had#of Margo confronting Molly about this too but like with science.#Margo would know. Just saying. She knows. ⃪ does this mean you have Molly/Margo fic?

Hi anon! sorry this is now several days late but boy do I. ( watched FAMK for the first time in February, wound up with Pages and pages of fic snippets (for a couple ships, margo x molly included) in chicken scratch on physical paper which is always a great sign that im being normal about a show, thought I'd cure myself if I just watched the whole thing a second time and absolutely only made it worse. )

I meant to answer this ask by just typing up the quick excerpt of the fic I was talking to myself in the tags about but...... started typing and did not stop. It lives over here now! Was not the one of the notebook fics I thought would see the light of day but you know? why not.

(I assume if you're here you, like me, have already read all the fics to be found but if you have Not read everything in that tag already, highly recommend. this fandom may be small but boy did it have good food on offer when I rolled in four years late fresh off a few episodes and absolutely screaming.)

Since I went ahead and dropped that one on ao3 at like 4am i'll throw in something a little more typical of the the notebook archives - how about this thing that exists entirely bc i noticed that used bookstore you can see beside the Outpost in season 1 and it gave me Ideas

Sometime post crossword-quiz / pre- run-in at the Jazz club.  

Margo walks fast past the Outpost on her way over to Bargain Books. When she can, she prefers to park down at the other end of the street and not have to go by that eyesore of a bar in the first place, but when you double the size of the astronaut program with twenty female ascans, you turn street parking into a blood sport. On her salary, no way is she playing chicken with the corvettes, not even to avoid mustering a polite smile for a coworker at his inebriated worst. 

Most days, that’s only an issue if she swings by after dark, the hour when everybody’s trickling out and stumbling home for the evening. Otherwise, the dingy whitewashed plywood keeps a nice impenetrable wall between book-seeking passers-by and drunken test pilots. Today, however, a spell of perfect weather is conspiring against her. Someone has the door propped open with a rusty paint can, letting the sound of laughter of clinking glass spill through it onto the sidewalk. 

A flash of green catches Margo’s eye before she can make it past. Despite herself, she recognizes that shade in an instant. It’s the flannel shirt she had to reprimand earlier that afternoon for bringing a lit cigarette into the sim. Molly Cobb, bent over a pool table, chin twisted up towards Patty Doyle, grinning like a woman about to win.  

Just Margo’s luck that this is the perfect time of day—indoor light matching outdoor light—for Molly to catch her eye straight through the open door as she makes her shot. 8-ball, dead in the pocket. 

For no reason she can think of, Margo feels heat rushing up into her cheeks. 

She stalks into Bargain Books in a hurry. 

The sweater-vested owner behind the front desk gives her the polite nod reserved for a good customer (and disinterested conversationalist) as she beelines for Paperback Fiction. She finished Matheson’s Ride the Nightmare last night— should have picked up two when she noticed how short it was in the first place, but nothing else tickled her fancy when she was in here a week ago, so here she is again, browsing spines. Maybe it's time to cave and finally grab a 10¢ copy of Rosemary's Baby from the stack on the end, seeing as it’s the one highly recommended title in her genre-of-choice the entire country seems to have read in the last couple years, but she already knows the ending (and the entire premise of demonic pregnancy does not appeal for tuning out after the work day). 

She’s dubiously eying the back-cover blurb on a Chandler detective thriller instead when a voice over her shoulder says, “Oh, Patty loves this shit.” 

To her great chagrin, Margo jumps, gasps, and drops her book. “Jesus, Molly.” 

“My bad.” 

Molly squats down to pick it up, slouchy brown corduroy flexing over her thighs. She fixes a bend in the cover before offering it back to her, but when Margo tries to take it away, Molly doesn’t let go. Instead, she adopts a playfully quirked brow and tugs it back towards herself inch-by-inch, bringing Margo, frowning, a step closer than she was before. “Came here to see if I could talk you into a drink.” 

Margo’s voice comes out approximately four steps too high as she looks around for some explanatory audience and says incredulously, “In there?” with a jerk of her thumb towards the Outpost’s adjoining wall. 

“Yeah. NASA central, shithole though it may be, but I never see you around.” 

“Well, I’m not an astronaut.” 

“Neither are the five white-shirts who monopolize the best booth in the back six nights a week. They don’t check for a pin at the door, Madison. That’d be no way to run a business. It’s a bar. Come have a drink with me.” 

“With… you.” She asks because she expects there to be an and. Me and the other ascans. Me and the rest of you white-shirt types in the back. Me and Patty Doyle. 

But Molly just raps the cover of The Lady in the Lake with her knuckles and says again, “With me.”