#i mean... i have already 10 blogs but i swear it's better for me on this way

[stuworbutwithchipmunks]

I'm not longer sad (lying) so let's go back to AATC

[v1sexual]

Could I pls have vi x reader who is a huge movie buff?

cinema ; vi (arcane)

request by : anon

note : as a huge movie buff myself, i absolutely love request. basing this request off me and my friend's reaction to 'long legs' by nicholas cage. spoiler : me and my bestie absolutely hated it *sighs*

content warning : swearing , op projecting and bitching about long legs

it's you and vi's monthly cinema date night. ever since you and her officially became girlfriends, going to the cinema monthly easily became a tradition. you've always been a big movie buff, something you got from your dad.

for tonight's movie, you and vi watched the latest showing for nicholas cage's new horror movie, 'longlegs'. it was highly praised online, it was even called "one of the scariest horror films". because of that, you and vi's expectations were through the roof.

"you ready for this shortcake?" vi whispered, her breath tickling your ear. you scoffed playfully and started cracking your fingers as the movie started, "i was born ready."

the movie ended around 10 minutes ago, you and vi sat inside her jeep. she looked at you expectantly, her eyes scanning your face trying to figure out why you've been dead silent. normally, you're already yapping away about the movie.

"sooo..." she started. "what are our thoughts..?" vi knew that she absolutely hated the movie, she just wanted to know your thoughts first. she's not gonna lie to you and tell you that she liked it just because you did though.

you closed your eyes for a second, taking a deep breath as if bracing yourself. "i... it-"

"i fucking hated it," you sighed, "i feel like we wasted money watching that piece of crap. i mean- i absolutely enjoyed the first part of the movie, i loved the foreshadowing, the literal devil in the details, the atmosphere-"

vi chuckled and stared lovingly at you, listening to every word that came out of your mouth. she's always loved how passionate you are when it comes to the things you love. with every hand gesture and facial expression you had, vi's smile grew bigger.

"- we were scammed! robbed! i've never been so disappointed in a horror movie, even fucking megan was better! i just- i don't even know what to say anymore." you let out an exasperated groan, flailing your arms before turning to vi. "what about you baby? what do you think?"

"i hated it too baby," vi said, her lips twitching into a smile. you sighed in relief, "i'm so glad- wait- you're not just saying that because i didn't like the movie right?"

vi snorted, rolling her eyes playfully at you as she started the car. "you know me better than that shortcake," she said. "just because i love you doesn't mean i'll agree to everything you say baby."

you nodded in agreement, "that's great, amazing."

silence filled the car again, your eyes were glued to your phone and vi was focused on the road. a couple of minutes later, she finally pulled in to your shared apartment.

"posted your review already?" vi asked, holding the door open for you. you smiled and nodded, holding your phone out to vi. "just posted on letterboxd, rotten tomatoes, and on my blog."

vi laughed, slinging an arm around you before pressing a kiss to your forehead, "you're such a nerd."

"you love that about me though," you said with an eye roll, your arm wrapping around vi's waist. your girlfriend sighed lovingly, "i love everything about you shortcake."

you giggled, nuzzling against vi, "i love everything about you too."

despite the intense disappointment you had for the movie, you and vi still had a great time which was the most important thing. the rest of the night was spent cuddling with her and binge watching ya'lls favorite show, and the horrible movie was soon forgotten.

note : when i said i projected i meant it *sigh* im sorry if you liked longlegs lol. anyways, hoped u guys enjoyed this one !

[sunalearnschinese]

Part 1 Reading Husky and his White Cat Teacher 二哈和他的白猫师尊 + learning Chinese

Hello new blog!! I'm going to start 🌸fresh 鲜 🌸

Ok. I have read this book in English before, and I know absolutely NO ONE in the history of ever has tried learning Chinese through this book. I already have some experience (up to HSK3 lmao 🐣) but I'm determined. Fight me I'm doing it. ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

How I decided on this was a few years back I wanted to read Husky and His White Cat Teacher 二哈和他的白毛师尊 but it was all fan translated. After a certain point, the fan translators wanted me to support the author, so I bought the original Chinese copy and sent them a picture as proof of support, then I got the document of the translation to continue reading. I sobbed so hard and felt so many more feelings than ever before, and despite the dark side of the book, it became my favorite instantly. Now I bought the official translated book and am excited to collect them all like Pokémon. 

*book cover -why are they so beautiful pls my heart-*

However, I still have that one Chinese book, and I'm an impatient b!tch so I decided to read it in the meantime. Except I don't want just a translation, I want to READ and UNDERSTAND ok. Grab your pen and tea, here we go 🍵

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Here goes the translation for the first two sentences of the book. If i got anything wrong or you'd like to add something, please comment!!

TAGS: Xianxia, Rebirth, Action, Conspiracy, Angst, 1?v1 HE, NSFW 

WARNINGS: Swearing

•─────────•°•❀•°•─────────•

墨燃还没��皇帝的那��儿，总有人骂他是狗。

掌柜骂他狗儿子，客人骂他狗崽子，堂弟骂他狗东西，他母亲最厉害，骂他狗娘养的。

Before Mo Ran became emperor, people always called him a dog. 

The manager called him a 'son of a bitch', the customers called him a 'bitch pup', his little cousin called him a 'shitty dog', and his mother was the best, saying he was raised by a bitch.

•─────────•°•❀•°•─────────•

VOCABULARY + grammar:

🐶墨燃 Mo Ran is the name of the main character of the novel.

1. 还没当 - not yet - Hái méi dāng

还有 - also; furthermore; in addition - Hǎi yǒu 还是 - had better; nevertheless - Hǎi shì 还好 - furthermore; not bad - Hǎi hǎo

2. 皇帝 - emperor - Huángdì

Idiom:

皇帝不急太监急 - Huángdì bù jí tàijiàn jí fig. The observers are more anxious than the person involved. lit. The emperor is not worried, but his eunuchs are.

3. 那会儿 - at that time - Nà huì er

那 - that (e.g. 看那 Will you look at that?) When you are thinking of something, in English you would say 'uhm' or 'uhhh', while in Chinese the equivalent term would be 那个 (nàgè). 这 zhè/ 那 nà + Measure Word + Noun

4. 总有 - always/ inevitably there will be - Zǒng yǒu

5. 骂 - to curse/ to shout abuses - mà 6. 掌柜 - shopkeeper - Zhǎngguì 7. 客人 - client/customer - Kèrén 8. 母亲 - mother - Mǔqīn 9. 最厉害 - great (-est, both positive and negative) - Zuì lìhài

It is somewhat similar in usage to the word 'great' in English, with the following meanings: Impressive or skilled: 他的功夫非常厉害。= He is very skilled in martial arts. 太厉害了，他是怎么做到的？ = Very impressive, how did he manage to achieve that? formidable: 厉害的角色 = A formidable figure (not one to be messed around with). 厉害的手段 = formidable tactics (in a sporting game, or as part of political intrigue) severe: 某某股跌得太厉害了 = Stock X has taken a severe fall (in value) 厉害 can also mean a few things when describing a person and relies heavily on the context. For example the sentence: 他是很厉害 Has numerous possibilities and it would be wrong to assume something without further explanation. Some examples: This person is very strict or harsh This person has a sharp personality This person is very skillful/capable The same with the use of 太厉害. This could have a positive or negative connotation. It could describe someone who is amazingly skillful or someone that is overly strict.

10. Multiple ways to say 'son of a bitch':

狗儿子 - (Dog's son) Gǒu érzi

狗崽子 - (son of dog) gǒu zǎizi

狗东西 - (dog thing) gǒu dōngxī

狗娘养的 - (lit. "raised by a dog mother") gǒu niáng yǎng de 

The fact that many insults are prefaced with the Mandarin Chinese word for dog attests to the animal's low status.

•─────────•°•❀•°•─────────•

PRACTICING:

Some of my notes are mixed in with previous practices.

[platonically-loving-alastor]

Hazbin Top 5

I was going to make a top 10 character list, but realized after the first 5 I didn't know where to place anyone- But in case you're curious, some contenders for the remaining 6-10, in no specific order, were Angel Dust, Charlie, Emily, Niffty, and Sir Pentious. Now here's my top 5 with reasonings and appreciation for them all!

5. Lucifer

Obviously bro is relatable, not only for his awkwardness and hyperfixations, but he also happens to be the same height as I am at about 5'2" (according to the sources I've seen). Being the same height as Lucifer is my biggest flex lmao- I still have no idea why his hatred of Alastor seemed so instant. Like yeah, Alastor was trying to annoy him by being a better dad to Charlie, but the whole 'fuck you' moment happened before any of that started. Did he just sense the bad vibes off of him or what? Anyway, his awkwardness and desperation to connect with his daughter make for probably my favorite lines of the episode, such as the "Hey bitch!" and the whole "You like girls? So do I!" situation followed by him being so distracted he called Vaggie by the wrong name. Perfect comedy

4. Lute

I love her an insane amount for someone who shows up so relatively little with so few lines, but here we are. I've already made an entire post about her, here it is if you want it, so I'll keep this short (Spoiler alert: I failed). I actually don't think I mentioned just how attractive this woman is, so let's get that out there right now. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this, about half the people I've seen react to Episode 6 have seen Lute without her mask, took a pause of recognition, and we all knew what they were thinking before the pressed play. Istg my taste in women (and sometimes even men, thanks Vox) is just "Can they murder me without a second thought? Yes? That's hot". My favorite line of hers is when she's hyping up the army with Adam and says "Rip Vaggie's cunt mouth out her ass!" and even Adam has to be like "damn girl chill what the hell-" She's so feral I love her so much

3. Rosie

Everyone needs a Rosie in their lives. I don't just mean a regular therapist, I mean a person in your life, friend or family member, who will talk you out of your downward spiral and gently call you out on why those paranoid thoughts are actually pretty unrealistic (the other side of the same coin would be Husk, he's just more blunt about it). I'm also still completely convinced she has some interesting and sad backstory based on how she was talking to Charlie and I need to know about it so bad. "It can be difficult to admit to things you're not proud of, especially if those things hurt the ones you love" Ma'am what did you do? I find it hard to believe it's just about the cannibalism. I don't know if in this instance, she's the one who hurt someone or someone else hurt her and she was the one who failed to forgive them, but either way I need answers.

2. Vox

Y'all know I love this man in more ways than one, he one the hottest Hazbin character poll for a reason. But I swear everything about this man makes me love him as a character more. First, I always love a technology based character, his electricity powers and literal screen head are the coolest thing in the world to me. He's voiced by Christian Borle, which was a fantastic choice, along with the glitched effect his voice gets when he's mad, I love to see it. Apparently it's also canon he can fly (with rocket shoes)?? He just keeps getting the best character design choices possible, this can't possibly be fair- The fact his first introduction was being done with Val, telling him to call tf down, and treating him like a child ("Now that's why they pay you the big bucks!") was a pretty good first impression for me lol, made even funnier when it was followed by him losing all sense of rationalism when Alastor entered his line of sight.

1. Alastor

The character my blog is named after, this should not be a surprise. Shockingly enough, despite my obsession for him and acknowledgement of his charming nature and generally attractive design, I' do not simp for him in the slightest'm not personally attracted to him in the slightest. I simp for a TV and yet apparently deer man with permanent smile is where I draw the line idk- The most I want from him is to be as good of a friend to him as Rosie is (well that and to touch his ears but that's a given). But this is another character I love literally everything about. Who would've thought the concepts of 'radio host', 'serial killer', and 'literal deer' would work so well together to create this dapper yet terrifying fucking cryptid. Not only can he be either incredibly scary or a silly guy, he can and has done both at once. Example: Episode 3 when he's just casually eating a deer carcass in his room (in which he summoned a whole ass bayou). I was genuinely so glad when the 'this face was made for radio' thing happened in episode 1, confirming that they were still gonna lean into his creepy-as-fuck distortion and general vibe he had in the pilot. He's horrifying and evil and I love that about him. Meanwhile he also says shit like "Now he's pissy, that's the tea" (definitely taught to him by Rosie) and kicks his legs on the bed like a schoolgirl as if he hasn't committed countless atrocities. My favorite character, everyone-

Wow I wrote more than I meant to for this, sorry about the essay-

[here2bbtstrash]

your votes are in! part 2 survey results ✨

i asked, and y'all answered!!! 👀

as mentioned a few times before, the survey is not closed - i won't update it with new works moving forward, but i will keep an eye on it if anyone decides to run back and add votes! so please don't feel like it's too late, esp if you're new and still catching up on the porn (there is A LOT of porn. pls take your time and stay hydrated okay 😵‍💫)

but since it's been about a week, and new votes have slowed down, i thought it'd be fun to do a reveal of the top 10 results as things currently stand! sticking them below the cut - join me, won't you? 🍷

at #10, with 40 votes, we have... moving day! i was honestly surprised to see this one crack the top 10, but i should know better than to underestimate the yoongi hoes at this point. y'all love your delusional long-haired boyfie content, and who am i to deny you that??

at #9 (my lucky number 👀), with 42 votes, we have... it's sweet! shocked to see a fluff fic crack the top 10 honestly, but let's be real, the taehyung hoes are THIRSTY (anyone who follows jai already knows this 😂) - i promise i'll write more for y'all soon, and that the next one will actually feature smut!!!

at #8, with 43 votes, we have... park and ride! (and technically also its sequel, five minutes!) y'all really said give us a part three mother 😭 and jokes on you because i have an idea for a part three *and* a part four for these two. you'll never be free of them lmao!!

at #7, with 45 votes, we have... the spins! i'm happy to see this one here!! i love this couple and i've wanted to do a sequel for them for AGES, though i swear my idea for what i actually want to do changes every few months 😂 guess i gotta decide on one!!!

at #6, with 51 votes, we have... sunday! idk why i didn't expect this one to rank omg!! i don't feel like i write jin particularly well, and i especially thought that level of BDSM would be too much for some 🙈 but i have learned y'all are freaks who like crying during sex.... huh...... DULY NOTED 👀📝

halfway there, time for the big hitters! at #5, with 54 votes, we have... party on you! ahhhhh this one makes me happy to see 🥲 forever AMAZED and ECSTATIC that my most popular fic on this blog is a hoseok fic!!! i want to write a million billion more hobi things this year, and i will certainly see what i can do about circling back to these two cuties. at the very least there shall be more ass-eating in 2023!! 🎉🍑

at #4, with 58 votes, we have... deep end! joon hoes with TWO appearances on the board, we love to see it 👏 i loooove that y'all are down not only for period smut, but for some of the risks i took with using more flowery/poetic language in this one! i had so much fun trying something new, i'd love to revisit this couple and that writing style again!!

at #3, with 59 votes, we have... two in one! y'all. no. i'm shook. wig FLEW, wig in the STRATOSPHERE. say WHAT?!?!?! the first fic i ever posted on this blog, my most self-indulgent work (actually it might not be the Most lmfao but it's UP THERE) - i'm. NUMBER THREE?!?!??! okayokayokay 👀 i see y'all 👀 we're gonna have a verrrrry fun jihope month next month aren't we?!?! 😈

at #2, with 65 votes, we have... the shape of your body! oh man 🥺 i'm almost, like, emotional to see this one rank so high. this fic is so so personal and dear to me, and was a BIG leap for my writing in a lot of ways. the fact that the response has been so overwhelmingly positive, and that so many of y'all read all 24,000 words of that fic and said you want MORE. i can never put into words how much that means to me 🙇‍♀️ it's hard for me to think of a whole plot for a sequel - bc i wrote so damn much already 😂 but lemme see what i can do to at least cook up a drabble or two (if you have ideas, keep 'em in your back pocket for jihope month 👀)

and finally... at #1... with 70 votes... no one is surprised 😂 - it's drip! ahhhhh squirt god min yoongi. we meet again. i will never live this fic down lmfaoooo. and funny... doesn't he have a birthday coming up soon? i could've sworn... 👀💦💦💦

alright besties!!! i'd love to know your thoughts!!! any surprises? any you're happy to see?? anything that didn't make the list that you're about to get out the torches and pitchforks over??? i wanna hear it all, so drop me a comment or an ask and let me knoooow!! 🎤💜

(for me, it's babygirl missing out on the top 10 by two votes... but it's fine i'm fine... 😭)

also can i just say - look at y'all, getting ALL OF OT7 ON THE BOARD??? we fucking love to see it!!! equal opportunists on this blog! yaaaaaaas porn for everybody!!! 👏👏👏

[seoafin]

hi Morgan! I hope everything's going well! I just wanted to stop by because, aside from ddao/fic updates, I really enjoy reading your posts & your blog in general (you're literally .. the stsg writer to me but i swear. this isn't going to be another ask abt me complimenting your work, I must be getting boring 😂) so I just thought of sending something in to have a chat but please feel absolutely free to ignore me if I'm bothering you or if you're busy :)) !

I've only now seen the rude asks you got recently (i've been living under a rock due to exams, sigh) and the Gojo hate anon had me flabbergasted . . as a Gojo girlie/fucker/everything myself (and a Gojo bullying lover. he 100% deserves it 🤩) the honesty left me speechless 😭.  Not to mention the person who rated your fic when bookmarking it on AO3 .. ?!?! that was so incredibly disrespectful. Maybe I'm naive but I could have never imagined it was a thing before coming back to fandom spaces - you aren't the first author I see pointing out this behavior from readers on the site .. I think it's just insane how people can be so gratuitously rude (and allow me to add tasteless. the 3/10 was definitely personal).

I've also seen your more recent posts about not wanting to write the next Gojo scenes in ddao (tbh i get that. he is the character I struggle to write the most & in general .. he is the hind of person he is yk what I'm saying 😂) but I'm glad you're finding some motivation to work through it! please stay strong 😂!! What do you think is the hardest thing abt them for you? As a writer, or personally, either point of view is fine! is it anything in particular like the dialogue .. any part of the writing process, or is it him in general (that would be an incredibly valid answer too 😂)? I personally find him pretty hard to write - it's likely a personal limit, but especially when some kind of romance or pining is involved. I mean the dynamics are probably already going to be some flavor of messed up and chaotic when he's in the picture (especially with Geto) .. hence why I think if I was in rip!mc's shoes i think I wouldn't have survived the mess 💀. He definitely wouldn't be helpful at all in such situation .. Geto is just so much better at presenting and promoting himself to others than Gojo is, despite being equally messy and messed up behind the facade. Which is a fairly obvious statement. But what makes him hard to deal with is the fact I think Gojo would likely open his mouth and say something outta pocket/offensive and/or misleading about his feelings and then act frustrated about how you can't see he's insanely pathetic about you. He might even think he's being obvious but he's actually being insufferable and in a way that would make anyone's brain hurt lmao. As of now, I think he somewhat tends to erroneously apply the same logic he applied to his relationship with Geto - except it's obvious their case was an exception to the rule (hence why he just creates more chaos and misunderstanding) .. he regarded him as a peer more than he did with anyone else,, and I also think Geto was more used to his bullshit than anyone else could be (re: your manipulation tactics post .. their love language is psychological warfare. so true). But this is my take and it's likely not 100% correct so I'd love to hear your thoughts if you wish to share any! I've actually been loving your characterization of him. It's been refreshing in the sense that I think especially a Geto stays!AU Gojo but also in general a younger version Gojo would've been a pain to be around and I think you really delivered that feeling well!

Also - I love every time you get a message with people telling you abt how you turned them into Geto fuckers. As a Geto hater (i want .. to kiss .. him ......) I can safely say I did that to myself too - it's inevitable. I started writing for him because I wanted to get rid of the thoughts but it backfired. I slowly turned myself into a fucker. truly dug my own grave. that's what he does to people 💀💀 !! I remember you saying how you wouldn't stand him irl (am i right .. ? I can't find the specific post so i hope i'm not making a huge gaffe right now LMAO) and tbh i think I wouldn't be able to stand both him and Gojo irl. I would literally have eyes only for Shoko. the only woman ever. sigh

Soo yeah, this is it for this silly ask! I hope this message finds you well - in the meantime, keep up the good work and have a good day😊!!

HIIIII sam <3333 LMAOOO YEAH THAT 3/10 WAS PERSONAL 😭

with gojo it's not rlly him that's difficult i think im just finding it increasingly difficult to write for a character that im not as personally invested in. at this point writing gojo is more of a habit than anything. i've been writing him for ages so i know the way i want to write his character and everything about how i characterize him so it's mostly free sailing now!!!!! im actually really excited for the expanded HI arc in the anime so i can recontextualize my fics through the added info and sashisu interactions in the anime!!!!!!

oh yeah i think gojo is definitely a bit blind to the nuances of other people and/or considerate in a way that comes off as inconsiderate (his treatment of ijichi). also he and geto just.....fell in love. and i like to think falling in love with each other was even easier than becoming friends. one day it just clicked. they understood that they loved each other the entire time so there was no need for an extended courtship. i think in regards to stsg's relationship there really was no big change. a lot of things actually stayed the same lmfao.

ripmc is difficult because she actually needs like....articulation of their feelings and something more than just patience. softness maybe. also where geto just intrinsically understands, the last thing gojo actually wants is to detail every single thing he loves about not just rip!mc but geto too. geto probably teases it out of him anyway LMAO gojo is still kinda mortified at his early behavior and treatment towards rip!mc although he has apologized for his antagonism. i just KNOW it keeps him up at night 😭😭😭😭😭😭 he's still growing out of his immaturity. geto never left. the blue spring goes on for longer. he gets to be a teenager for a little longer. you know!!!!!

[zhongrin]

I am not sure what brought me here, but pretty sure it's cuz I saw ya on other blogs from my mutuals too hehe <3 and you totally deserve them Rin! ❤️❤️ (Be prepared hehe 💞)

You totally have a type Rin - tall handsome men. 😌 Ohh I see I see!! :((

My fav was Zen, idk, he is so adorable and so handsome and aaaaaa <333

That's true heh, but idk, Baizhu already stole my whole heart - noone else can get it anymore <3😌 no omfgbidi RIN SJJFBDKSKWN what abt Baivi??

(Legends say Rin can't walk until today.)

Omfggg wine! Yum! Hehe, seems like I can share the memory then 🤭💞 ofc ofc we save you some seats!! Maybe even for your children? <3 speaking of, do you have children with your selfships? ❤️

..... Rin I would mind cuz I can't concentrate then I mean I am on his lap so near to him I can feel his breath I can see him I am I am I am malfunctioning-;;!_(_;€(€(€!!€(€(#!

Hehe I am sure Alhaithams reaction would be priceless, tell me about it, will you? ❤️

Awh alright, then I am relieved and I will gladly visit y'all then! 💞

And tbh yes, I also had some dogs as a child and I can agree. Big dogs are often gentlier as smaller dogs - not always, but quite often.

Help Zhongli so gentle and Alhaitham so.. ... Alhaitham. LMAO so adorable ahhh <33 (ofc ofc, it's important to them what their wifey thinks, after all 💞 even better then, ya don't have the burden to take a decision ❤️ ya truly complete each other heh)

I see I see 🤭 help Rin fidbsisjebshs

Baizhu is a service dom, ya can't tell me otherwise heh 😌💞 and ofc ofc, he doesn't have to do everything everytime hehe <33 I love spoiling my (now) fiance after all ❤️

So Rin, next question - does someone exist in your selfship who wants to take apart your relationship? (And if so, care to tell me the names and address? 🥰)

us seeing each other on our moots' blogs and be like HI HELLO DO YOU WANNA PERHAPS BE FRIENDS TOO :D

tall handsome men who exudes power while just standing there seems to be my type yes you are completely right hsldkfjlsdf

ohhh zen!!! he's cute but he's too baby for me, i want to pat him but not kiss him lol he is very handsome tho <3

very true you are very smitten my friend (and it's adorable ueue) me on normal days: #baivi for life! // me on chaotic days: but what about pairing you with ayato. maybe thoma. maybe both >:D

(WHEEZES WYM I CAN STILL WALK- *wobbles and falls to the floor* ..... i can('t) explain-)

ohoho do you like wine? then we'll bring the best osmanthus wine we can find!! (fun fact i have a very low alcohol tolerance so zhongli drinks my alcohol for me if i'm ever given a glass on dinners or parties hehe) hsldjfklsdf omg children.... i don't but tbh i would love to??? i'm so weak to domestic scenarios & concepts like that wahhhh zhongli exudes fatherly energy already, i should make him a father don't you think- i mean what-

oh? ohoho? hmmmm i see... sitting on baizhu's lap flusters you huh >:))

update: he blushed. it was adorable. 10/10 would do it again. 🥰

right!!! i had one golden retriever and she was the most gentle doggo. my close friends who used to visit my house for sleepover and stuff also have dog phobias so they would always be scared of her, but she's always so gentle and would never approach them whenever they're around. i swear dogs knows what we think of them somehow, they're so precious sdlkfjslkdjflsd

YES like ugh please i don't want to decide what to get for lunch can you just decide for us ;w; (fast forward to me begrudgingly eating something healthy and them smiling as they see me taking consequences of my action - or in this case the lack of it lmao)

hehehe how do you feel calling him fiance now wink wink ;)) don't get used to it.... you'll have to call him husband soon <3 <3

omg i've never actually thought of that???? that's a very interesting question.... i'd like to think there isn't but then again.... i'm pretty sure these 2 men has their own fan club. they have to have at least one fan club lol

the concept of a third party is very interesting tho 👀 i shall ruminate on this more..... but in the mean time, how about you and baizhu? surely no one could oppose to this wholesome couple!!! i'll make sure to ask zhongli to drop a meteor on them if they do

[post-office-by-the-bay]

Dearest Covey,

Turns out we didn’t get the infection under control (imagine I’m doing the Debby Ryan right here) + cause of my sickle cell I don’t do great with infections but I’m good now (knock on wood) we think it’s because I had a sickle crisis but it’s over now so I dunno 🤷‍♀️ oh well I guess it means I missed my last english review before exam season 😭

I missed my friends party that I think I told you about but my boyfriend said he couldn’t make it either and came and stayed with me cause my dad had work and my older sister was out 🫶🫶 + he brought round his mum’s cooking and GOOD LORD that woman can cook I love her so much (even if I really shouldn’t be eating it 😟 don’t tell my dad or my doctor)

Plus I would like to put my little sister forward as the cutest eight year old ever. When I was home she would legit come into my room like 10 minutes after her bedtime and be ‘sneaky’ so she could talk to me and make sure I was ok and I don’t think I’ve ever cried more. She’s so cute anyway this has been a rant I’m pretty sure you don’t want to hear 😭

Anyway, i thought my couple days away from before was long but Jesus I’ve been gone for like just over a week? maybe 2? Probably about a week. Got loads of your work to catch up on and I will make sure to send a letter complimenting it all because I am SURE it is gonna be amazing (like usual) even though I do not have a scooby where I left off.

I can also vote that Elise and I aren’t the same person but cause she’s using another name I didn’t realise it was her until I sent the letter about having an illness twin and I was like 😨 Rory?? But yeah I’m using a side account so even if you do guess who I am in the anon guessing thing I’ll probably just sign off with my name cause that main blog is OLD and it won’t let me delete it all and it’s cringey as fuck so…

How’s your life been? Hope it’s been as chill as can be and I hope your trip was good! Hope no one else sent in a request and if they did I’m disappointed I missed it 🙁🙁 this is such a long letter but I had so much to catch you up on 🫶 

ALSO IM LOVING THE NEW BLOG??? ITS SO CUTESY AND I HOLD IT SO CLOSE TO MY HEART EVEN THOUGH THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IM SEEING IT AND ITS NOT EVEN MINE 🤭 HAPPY ONE THOUSAND AS WELL!!! YOU DESERVE IT SO MUCH MY LOVE 🫶🫶

Finally, loads and loads and lots and lots of love to make up for when I was gone,

🎞️ <3

(This is such a long letter I am so so so sorry Covey you do not need to read this all 😭 I did try and cut it down I swear)

my stunning film roll anon,

AHHH FIRSTY YOURE SO SWEET OH MY GOODNESS LUV YA POOKS

secondly, im so so sorry about all your medical issues!! I have no way to relate or even begin to understand what your going through but that must suck like legit balls lmao-

also, your little sister seems so so sweet!! I also wanted a sibling to take care of, to talk to, ya know, but my older sister was too busy being older for that. but we chillin now

lifes been chill, ya know how it be. (ive never been more stressed in my whole 18 years of life. monday save me. monday pls kill yourself. monday be OVER already good lord) (i have my ap test and my last band concert ever...MONDAY DIE)

LUV YA MORE HON!! HOPE YOUR HEALTH GOT BETTER IN THE DECADE IT TOOK ME TO RESPOND TO THIS!!

all my love,

covey 𐙚⊹ ࣪ ˖

[littleharpethcrossfit]

Tuesday, 15 August, 2023

After all the rainy fronts have passed, we enjoyed a lower temp and humidity than recently suffered at the Barn.

Warmup........Back Squats........WOD........Cool-Down Dips

Warmup

4 Rounds

25 yd Sled-Drag Forwards

25 yd Sled-Drag Backwards

10 Air-squats

Strength

Back squats: 8 / 8 / 8 / 8

Superset: 5 Your Best Pull-Ups Between Each

Ed=225 Sammy D/Smoothie/Herb/Dana=175 Coach=165 Dyer=155 Shannon/Sandy/Sue/Warren A=75 Kayla=40 Timmy/Linda/Alicia=check And others=?

WOD

5 Rounds

2 Kettle Bells (70/53/35)

Must Use 2 ERGs

This was said to be a SPRINT WOD, and everyone was encouraged to go as heavy as possible and to do the reps correctly so they would get the maximum out of a sub 10 minute WOD.

Run 200 / Row-Ski 250 / Bike 500m

Double Kettle Bell Front Squats

2 / 4 / 6 / 8 / 10 Squat Reps Per Round

Herb=8:08 Sammy D=8:11* Sue=8:26 Kayla=8:40 Ed=9:17* Dyer=9:20 Smoothie=9:36 Tim=9:47* Warren A=10:05 Dana=10:15* Shannon=10:42 Coach=10:54 Sandy=11:30 Linda=11:39 Alicia=did it

Did RX weights (or better) with proper Range Of Motion.

Cool-Down

Parallel Bar Dips: 5 X 5

Notes:

As I guiltily snuck back to the house 1 hour after the WOD completion, Timmy and Smoothie were still hard at work re-wiring the music system.

Those present today got introduced to our new gym dog. Not a mean bone in her 5 month old body, she jumped on and licked nearly everyone here. She enjoyed taking turns running along with everyone on their 200m runs. Her name is GINGER because she is a red dog, but she doesn't know her name yet.

Nearly everyone who matters is out of town for a couple of weeks. Kayla/Alicia/The Schwartz's and probably some others are not going to be here Thursday and beyond. Obviously that impacts our happiness at the Thursday wine tasting since all these people are our major snack providers. Miss Linda has already agreed to order pizza and it can be sausage/pepperoni/and extra cheese without endangering anyone's future in heaven (except Dana). Someone needs to order Chic Fil A for Dana.

Herb swears that SCHWARTZ is the longest single syllable last name in the Western World. He said that while making fun of people with 4 letter last names. Like BUCK.

Apropos of nothing in particular, the Maui fire has claimed over 100 deaths. That's terrible. For comparison, the Coconut Grove Fire in Boston (1942) killed almost 500. Worse, the Iroquois Theater fire in Chicago (1903) killed over 600, many of them children. The Great Chicago fire of 1871 killed about 300. Sometime around the picnic table, ask me about the hazards of doors that only open inwards, and those fun and innocent looking revolving doors, like at Bone Fish Grill.

TUMBLR is still mis-behaving. Notice that the resulting names are jammed together, which is not how I blogged it. I wish I could share with you the pictures of the buxomy Brentwood ladies who demand my attention by posting invitations along-side my blogs. I only look at them in hopes of seeing a reputable housewife and church-lady known to me via LHCF.

Thursday at 4 PM. The weather is supposed to be great because man-kind has advanced to the point that we can control it.

.

[wherenightmaresroost]

just gonna go through the @staff update post.

"Tumblr is not easy to use"

Create a tutorial for new accounts, or an official, up-to-date, easy-to-find FAQ and guidelines. Both would be good.

"Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience."

Nearly everyone using Tumblr for the longest time had been praising the site's commitment to user-curated feeds as one of its advantages over other social media sites. Listen to them. Listen to your users. They are not just "a small portion". Do not repeat Coke trying to taste more like Pepsi.

"For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. "

Highlight the site's customization ability - Tumblr is one of the few remaining sites that allow this level of customization - and encourage your users to use it, so that logged-out visitors can be enticed to join in.

"Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards."

That will probably also improve user experience and increase user activity, so it's good for everyone.

"We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product."

Listen - Tumblr is great exactly because it shows me only the things I decided I want on my dash. It is great even if I'm getting bad content, because that means it is within my power to remove that bad content from my Tumblr experience.

Again, no one wants algorithm-determined content. We want 'better' content in the form of images actually loading and being easy to zoom in, videos loading in and being easy to pause and seek, minimal format fuck ups, and not losing our place in the dashboard scroll.

I understand wanting to show relevant interests to new NEW users (saw a few people complain that there's nothing on Tumblr, not knowing you have to fill the feed by yourself) but we'll probably better off by letting the users select interests from a broad variety of topics, and then recommending posts and blogs based on their choices.

"Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread."

This is good! I think this will actually improve discussion somewhat, and prevent OP from repeatedly receiving the Same Points when they've already addressed it in a different reblog chain.

"Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. "

There are people who view this as a feature - so might be better to give people the option of collapsing them, instead of removing it for everyone.

"However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  "

Improve the search and tagged functions of the site. Focus on the development of multiple dashboards - so we can group our interests, especially those from slow updating blogs. Focus on the development of followed tags, because I swear to the gods above and below, it does NOT update properly. The followed tag dashboard usually tells me the most recent post was one week ago, when in fact more than 10 posts had been created over that time. Remove that weird feature where posts with links do not show up in either reblogs or search or tags - plenty of artists like to link to their other accounts or personal sites in their post.

"Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral."

This is a good thing lol I only had the misfortune of having my dashboard unusable (2010s) / having my activities unusable (2015s) like thrice and. Never again.

"Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery."

This could be good opt-in feature, especially if we get to choose which blogs it applies to. Slow-updating blogs often get lost in the dash. But again, this is only good if it's a feature people can choose to use, and not use. I think a lot of people want to separate their e-mails from their social medias, or have a hard boundary between Tumblr time and Other Things time. This is also something a multi-dashboard feature / better tag-tracking can easily solve.

"Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events."

No.

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Again, NO.

If someone has their push notifications off they likely just straight out do not want to ANY notifications about it, especially e-mails, which are typically already clogged to begin with.

I am begging you guys to actually listen to your user base.

Principle 6 atm is the only point I have no issues with.

"You deserve a digital home that works for you."

Then do not focus on algorithm-determined feeds. Let your users build their own homes. Provide them with the tools to do so.

[batteredwarriorstillstanding]

So, I am "HOPING FOR" a result more in line with the ice cream socials attendance in our 90s (did you know I am 10 months older than you..)

You should start tapping into the wisdom that comes with age...right? Lol

Anyway, though, either way....all I am SURE about is that I need you right now...not gonna give away the cheap gift, but it's something you are gonna want to take possession of asap. I won't tell you what it is. It would be tacky (and we both know you would never associate yourself with anything "tacky." Lol....I am sorry. I couldn't resist. Take my word for it, you, your past words and actions would NEVER need to absorb any such accusations! Lolol.....okay, that is a lie....and I say this because I love you and have no difficulty admitting that you may very well be my favorite person, that is why I can say that, while I would not describe you as "tacky" you have not completely avoided all connections to the label. Whatever. Nobody bats 1.000. For example, if I were to to say that "it's a high end, aromatherapy bubble bath kit" that would be a bit tacky, and hurt my average (which, in this category, is still better than your's. I won't get cocky, though I lose in most others. So, that IS the gift....it was actually the request of someone else years ago when I couldn't decide what to buy THEIR weird ass (she was also rich, so....those people are impossible to shop for. You aren't super rich (as far as I know), but single with a great job. I'm sure you have everything you need, and I don't really know what you want

.thought about a Castle Boutique gift card, then I remembered I still have the bubble bath stuff. Fwiw, many women swear by this shit...I can't believe I am not on speed. Go figure. This likely isn't helping my cause. Gonna stfu...uh...SOON ) so I finally just asked her, I bought one of these, it was a huge hit. I repeated this for every one of the weird, financially independent, women on my list with either grown or no kids (total number was 5 last year, but is already 7) Added bonus: after receiving this, try...JUST TRY to avoid thinking about me--at least occasionally, while you are naked...you can't. Hahahaha..That statement was a bit tacky, perhaps I have caught up now?! Lololol...or NOT.I LOVE YOU, though....so, I am allowed to point out the "tacky" thing. When you call me "a fuckin' dork," that's just mean. You are simply being a mean bitch...."bullying" is what you are guilty of practicing, actually...whereas, I am not. The difference? That's right. Known and stated love! There is only one way for you to redeem yourself, as far as I can see....I, for one, would hate for you to carry the burden of having partake in such a horrible affront to humanity. FORTUNATELY, my love for you knows no bounds and I will ABSOLUTELY permit you to love me in order to r'ender these accusations certain to be thrown your way by the prosecutor's forces of the enemies of man ...and, ultimately, of God as well. In fact, accept my bubble bath, allow me to be secure in the knowledge that you will not be able to completely avoid thinking of me while naked and I will call it even. The next personal communication between us....if there winds up being one, will be your idea (unless you make a habit of reading my blog (which will cover the subject with an obsession only you can inspire from me!

Oh come on, allow me this moral victory, at least. Lol

On a serious not, I love you, please be safe.....

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 1. brb x oc

THIS FIC IS 18+ ONLY! MINORS PLS DNI!

a/n: * pulls up megaphone * Rooster was raised right by his mom and doesn't care about body types. The lack of plus size fics made me upset so I literally returned to Tumblr to create this blog and write this. This is the first time I'm writing for this fandom so... I HO PE YOU GUYS LIKE IT??? its been centuries SINCE I WROTE aNYTHING ( also god im not creative with titles, please forgive me )

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

c:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/

25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84

85/86/87/88/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101/102

warnings: mentions of bullying, self doubt, aNGST, mutual pining, Rooster being a sweetheart.

“Hello!” Beatrice calls once she enters Hard Deck by the employee’s entrance, popping out her airpods to slide them inside her bag shoulder, “I’m not late, am I?” she calls to Penny who’s currently fixing the tables ahead of her.

“No, you are just on time!” she calls, her voice a bit muffled since Bea put her bag inside the little closet area for employees. She checked her appearance before going out on the mirror hanging on the wooden wall, pulling her dark brown hair up in a bun and fixing her Led Zeppelin shirt, wiping the dust off her jeans before finally walking out. Once she gets out, Penny is turning the lights on in the back area of the bar that leads to the beach. 

Meanwhile Beatrice grabs one of the bags of ice, carrying it to the ice machine behind the bar, plopping the cold cubes down the container, crumpling the plastic bag once it was empty to toss in the recycler. “I’m here, babes!” a voice calls, then a blonde head of hair shows up, “Hope you two didn’t do everything with me gone!”

“Just waiting for your presence,Michelle!” Penny calls, looking over her shoulder to press a kiss to her niece’s cheek, when she hugs her “Hi, honey, Bea is already here.”

“Bumblebea!” Bea smiles when the blonde comes over to the employees closet as well, removing her denim jacket to expose the low cut red tank top and jeans. “Need help?” Bea nods, pointing to the other bags of ice in the corner, “Friday night, tonight will be a long night huh?”

“Sure will.” Bea noted, the two of them dumping the rest of the ice “How was your date though? With the policeman?” the brunette asked, chuckling when the blonde girl rolled her eyes with a sigh.

“I swear, police officers are the clingiest guys.” Shells said, grabbing the empty bags from Bea’s hand to shove down the recycler, “He didn’t want to leave! I kept saying, ‘hey i gotta go to work,’ and he asked where I worked and I told him he didn’t need to worry about that.”

 The two of them then marched to the storage room area where Shells grabbed a box of handkerchiefs. “Then he said ‘oh it’s not a problem, I can take you’ and–and! Then he said ‘I like you a lot.’ Like!! We’ve only hooked up twice!...” she shakes her head, “I just told him it’d be better if we didn’t contact each other anymore and it was fun while it lasted.”

“He accepted that?”

“Course not, called me a bitch all the way out, I think I saw tears in his eyes before he left.” Shells shrugs, waiting on Bea to grab the recycled straws from the upper shelf, then turns off the light once her friend walks out “I swear, I’ll give up on Tinder like you did. It’s insane!”

Bea chuckles, opening the bag of straws to put them inside a glass, “I mean, you know my sister found her husband on Tinder.”

“Um, yeah, but he’s a handsome doctor from London with the body of a god and deep bronze skin. He’s like a beautiful statue!”

“I shouldn’t have never shown you their wedding picture.” Bea laughs, shaking her head with amusement. “and to think I just wanted to show you how pretty the location was.” the two of them looked at the clock, seeing they had little time before the bar opened for the public, so they had to finish everything up quickly.

Once they did and the bar opened, it exploded with people, the voices getting louder the more people entered. Music floated on the air, much to Bea’s delight as she hummed to herself with the songs. 

To think, just a few months ago she was looking for a job to help her with the bills and if it wasn’t for Shells and Penny, she’d never get it.

Beatrice is from a tight, traditional Italian family. While they are progressive in certain areas, most of her family doesn’t think women…should do much. If they have a job it should be a useful job, like banking or something like that, not Liberal arts. Which was what she always wanted to do, being a creative person since she was a child, she just wanted to work with what she liked.

But being the youngest of six siblings, the literal baby that had to stay home while her older siblings went out to live their lives out of state or even out of the country she had very little control in certain choices. Maybe it was the empty nest syndrome, with all her siblings gone from the house, her parents only had herself to… take care of in a way. It took years for her to actually go to her choice in college,juggling between work and long study hours, choosing to leave her job once she had enough money saved up to help herself once she got her place.

During college was when she met Michelle, or Shells, who took her to the Hard Deck a few times. It was distant from her job and her parents’ house and Beatrice loved it. She loved the atmosphere, she felt welcome by Penny and even if this was a Naval bar she didn’t feel like she was intruding in some way.

When Shells mentioned they needed one more person at the bar, Bea said yes immediately. Her parents weren’t happy with her choice, but they couldn’t stop her, especially since her own siblings supported it. So now she was here, working, happy, focusing on how she’d continue her career as an artist.

The bell rang, drinks were served, people were dancing. It was a nice night so far. Bea was washing one of the glasses when she heard a cacophony of voices that she heard a few times and her body heats up. She couldn’t help but just stare at him, he stood out of his group like a beautiful floral patterned thumb. With her eyes following him until they all sat down on their usual spot, Bea couldn’t help but bite her lower lip, feeling her cheeks warm up even more when he laughed at something.

“Ohhhhh, cock-a-doodle-doo huh?” Shells’ teasing voice snapped her out of her staring, Bea’s green eyes wide as saucers, seeing her friend’s teasing grin, “How long until you finally make a move?”

“I…I don’t know what you mean.” she continued washing the same glass, the squeaking sound of the sponge rubbing against it giving her some of a distraction.

“Bea, please,” Shells took the glass from her hand, then tilted her head, “You look at that man like he hangs up the moon every time he comes by.” but her friend then turned to the opposite side, focusing on checking the liquor bottles. Shells sighed, coming to her friend’s side and crossing her arms, the brunette trying too hard to keep her eyes on the label.

“This is a 1975, right?”

“Bea.”

“I can’t really see, the label is a bit faded–” the bottle disappears from her hand, Beatrice snapping her gaze to Shells, who holds the liquor under her crossed arms, her eyebrows going up to her hairline. Beatrice sighs defeatedly, “I…I don’t know what you want me to say.” she shrugs “He’s so…” she groans, covering her face with her hands, “He’s so…so hot,Shells. and he sings! and-and he’s funny and…he’s everything I’ve always wanted in a guy.”

“One more reason to go to him.” Shells whispers, “He’s single and handsome. You are single and gorgeous.” the blonde held her fingers up in a V position, before joining the two with a kissing sound, “Perfect match.”

Bea frowned, “It’s not that simple.” she murmured “I…I mean…look at me Shells.” she spread her arms to emphasize. But her friend just frowned, “Oh come on, like…look at me I’m not the type of girl who gets guys like that.”

She was a curvy gal, always had been. Normally, she wouldn’t mind it, but when it comes to guys, more especially when it comes to Rooster she just lost a good amount of confidence. He was literally adonis personified, just the most beautiful man she had ever seen. and she felt less than pretty when she remembered the type of girls that surrounded him or worked with him. 

“You know that’s not true.” Shells said with her voice low, a kind smile on her face, “You have as much chance as any girl out there.” Bea however scoffed, “You gotta believe in yourself Bea. You are gorgeous, any guy would be lucky to have you.”

The brunette’s eyes stung with unshed tears, the same eyes she clenched shut in hopes to hold them in. Memories of past relationships flooding her brain, bringing memories she wished to forget “Can we not talk about this anymore?” Shells is about to say something else but a customer calls for a refill, which Bea thanks every powerful being for, slapping on a smiling mask, “Coming right up!”

Shells only watches her friend go to the opposite side to serve one of the guys there, laughing when he says something to her - clearly drunk -  before walking away. Shells’ stare broke when she heard the bell ring, turning on to face the person. 

She immediately smiled wider, “Hi Bob.”

She likes Bob, she thought he not only was sweet he was also so smart. He knew he had a hard time with the group, especially Jake, but he was getting there. She leaned on her elbows, giving him a sweet smile, “What can I get you?”

The way his cheeks flushed and his eyes tried to look anywhere but the cleavage she put on display was so cute, “Oh, uh, just more beer?”

“Sure! Should I put it in your tab?”

“Yes,please.”

Shells went to the fridge to grab the beers, then paused, sending a look to where Beatrice was currently talking to two female customers. She then looked over her shoulder to Bob, who smiled at her, then past Bob to where his group was…a devilish thought showed up in her brain, “Why don’t you wait with the others? I’ll bring it to you.” 

“Oh, okay! I’ll be there then.”

With the beers on top of a tray, she sent one last look to her friend who was still busy, then sped her step maneuvering through the crowd until she reached them. “There you go, more fuel for the pilots.” she teased, making them laugh while switching the empty bottles with the full ones, throwing some quick looks to her brunette friend, “So,” she rested the empty tray on her hip, “What else can I get you?”

“Your number would be nice, sweetheart.” Jake was quick to say, sending her a wink with the bottle to his lips.

Shells chuckled, “I meant something achievable,Hangman.”

“I think we are all fine.” Phoenix says, “Thanks Shells.”

“Hey, not a problem. Oh, just letting you guys know, I’ll go on a break in a few minutes so if you guys need anything else, you can ask Bea.” She kept an eye on everyone, but especially Rooster. The way his eyes just snapped to her friend made her insides flip in triumph, the little smirk on her face hidden by her biting the inside her cheek, “She’ll gladly serve you.”

Rooster’s eyes finally left the brunette at the bar counter, meeting Shell’s knowing blue gaze only to clear his throat and look away again, “Well” she drawled, walking backwards, sending them a salute, “Enjoy the night!”

The moment Shells approached the bar, she ran to her aunt, whispering something in her ear. Both Penny and Shells looked in Beatrice’s direction, who was leaning down to pick something behind the bar, unaware of the scheming happening behind her back.

Once the time came for Shells to have her break, Penny kept an eye on Beatrice. It took just a few seconds for a known pilot to approach the bar, the bell rang and Beatrice turned around with a wide smile, a smile that faltered for a quick second before returning - albeit a lot milder than before - “Hi!” her voice was higher, so she cleared her throat, “Um,hi.”

“Hey.” Rooster replied, leaning his elbows over the counter, which made Bea suck in a hard breath once she saw the curve of his pecs underneath the white tank top, “Can you believe I came here to get more beer? Just three this time though.”

She couldn’t help but huff out a chuckle, covering her mouth with her hands then “Well, it is a bar.” she adds, “I would be surprised if you came here for groceries.”

When he laughed at her joke she almost felt like fainting, biting her lower lip hard with her head dipped, “I-I’ll go get it.” practically power walking towards the freezer where she stood for a few minutes, letting the cool air hit her cheeks as she tried to calm herself. She shook her head for a quick moment, grabbing the beers between her fingers and turning back around, almost letting out a yelp of surprise to see he was still looking at her “There you go.”

“Thanks.” but he didn’t leave, pointing his index finger at her “Bea, right?” she nods with a small smile, “It’s weird, I’ve seen you for a while and never got your name.”

Maybe because she chickened out every time he seemed to want something, ending up telling Shells to do it, “Oh, well,” she only gave him a weak shrug, then felt like her arms were too exposed, quickly lacing her hands behind her back to hide them the best she could, “I haven’t been here long.”

He hummed, a tiny smile on his face, “I’m Rooster.”

“I know,” she blinks when his eyebrows raise in amusement, “I-I mean, I heard Penny and Shells talking about you and heard your name being called around.” her face was so warm she felt like she was boiling. She hoped the light above her head hid her blush from his view. “I…is there anything else I can get you?”

“I don’t think so, no.” he looks back at his friends, seeing they are still chatting amongst each other. Then his eyes travel to the splotches of ink on her upper arms, the parts that weren’t hidden behind her. However before he could ask her about them, she snaps her head ahead when she sees someone on the table lifting their glass.

‘Sorry I–” she moves her own finger over his shoulder, “I gotta go get this.”

“Oh, oh no no, yeah, go ahead.” he smiled and her knees almost buckled just like that, “I’ll go back then.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

They stood there for a bit longer, until Rooster shook his head, picking the beers with one of his hands “I’l see you around then,Bea.” he smiles then turns on his heel back to the other pilots. Bea just stood there, face flaming and eyes wide, then she cleared her throat walking out from behind the bar to the table.

Penny, who watched the entire ordeal, just smiled, sending Shells a quick text once no one was looking:

“It’s on.”

[sugamamacustard]

Back me up

Pairing: Alpha! Kotaro Bokuto x Omega! Reader, Alpha Wakatoshi Ushijima x Omega! Reader

Genre: Tiny itty-bitty angst, domestic fluff!

Request: Hello! So I found your blog and I was contemplating wether to send in a request cuz im shy hehe Can you please write about an omega!pregnant reader and Alpha! Bokuto or Alpha! Ushijima (whoever you're more comfortable writing for) getting overprotective after something happens to their omega?

Summary: Pregnancy can bring out both the best, and worst, in any and all alphas, and yours is no exception. Life, however, is unpredictable in every sense and sometimes, the worst and best parts get melded into one-- and make you fall in love with your alpha all over again. 

Author’s Note: Domestic fluff domestic fluff domestic fluff domestic fluff domestic fluff domestic fluff domestic fluff domestic fluff domestic fluff- If you saw something earlier, no you didn’t :D

Requests: Open!

Kotaro Bokuto

➵ There were few things you hated about your pregnancy. 

➵ Honestly, at this point, it wasn’t even that bad for you! Minimized morning sickness, your boobs were rarely ever sore and you had one of the most amazing alpha by your side.

➵ Kotaro was just as excited about your pup on the way, making the whole experience so much more pleasant. He constantly chirped about your up coming family to his team, made sure he read every book he found on the subject of pregnancy and child care.

➵Honestly, perfect husband material.

➵ 10000/10

➵  There were times when he sometimes was overbearing, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

➵It was adorable and made you purr. 

➵ This faithful day you were both at the store, starting prep on stocking up for, not only the new nursery you were planning, but the intense nesting you were sure to go through further into your pregnancy. 

➵  You were at the point in your second trimester you had just enough of a bump to look pregnant and sometimes it attracted the weirdest people. 

➵ Humming, you walked down the aisle filled with gym supplements and pre-workout powder, keeping your eye open for the one your alpha preferred, quickly grabbing the largest tub and heaving it into the cart before moving on.

➵That was obviously your first mistake, as you were quickly stopped when you tried walking away. 

➵ “Pregnant woman aren’t allowed to have that. It’s bad for the baby.” A woman sneered at you, hand on her hip, glasses resting on her head as she glared at your belly than you.

➵ “Oh, it’s fine, it’s-” 

➵ “Fine? You’re fine with killing your pup?!” She snapped, teeth bared as you stared at her incredulously. “Someone like you shouldn’t be allowed to have pups.”

➵ “Ma’am, it’s not for me-”

➵” So your killing other people’s pups?” 

➵ You wanted to rip your hair out at this point. It was like you were talking to a brick wall.

➵ Taking a deep breath, you figured this wasn’t worth the argument, taking your cart and moving on.

➵ The woman’s alpha however, wasn’t having it. He appeared from behind her, grabbing the front of your cart and stopping it from turning. 

➵ He yanks it forward, making you stagger, before pushing it back and out of your hands, sending you tumbling. 

➵ You chirped as you braced yourself, arms wrapping around your middle, cradling your bump

➵ You didn’t fall too far, falling into a firm chest. You nearly chirped again, but relaxed when your alpha’s familiar scent clouded around you. It was strong and heavy and meant to assert dominance.

“Is there a problem here?”  Kotaro was never really an aggressive alpha, though he had the stature to do so. He was big, bulky and scary when angry. These were all things that you adored about him. That while he had all of these attributions, he instead was a bright and cheerful teddy bear. 

But he still had them nonetheless. He was still big. Still bulky. Still scary when angry. And right now, he was livid. 

“This sorry excuse of an omega is trying to kill her child-” The woman began, stopping when she stepped forward only for Kotaro to snarl at her. 

“I’m sorry, what? I’m pretty sure my omega was trying to explain that is wasn’t for her. In case you haven’t noticed, it was for me. Now piss off. I’m not scared to show you why I need that protein.” 

The duo looked to each other before stomping off, grumbling all the while. You could feel an arm snake around your waist, Kotaro snorting before grabbing the cart and spinning it around and leading you in the direction of the cashiers. 

“Am I getting out of cuddles any point in the near future?” 

“Not likely.” 

“That’s fair.” 

Wakatoshi Ushijima

➵ Oh boy, oh boy

➵ Wakatoshi is intimidating as it, nonetheless when your pregnant.

➵When his and your pup is on the line.

➵ He is ruthless and mean if someone dares look at you wrong.

➵ Honestly, also great dad. 

➵ Like 9999/10

➵ He’s a little brash and kind of forgets about you when fighting someone for a minute

➵ But I swear he makes it up you later

➵ You honestly love him so much, even if he can be brunt and brash sometimes.

➵ Your doctor okay’d minimal coffee for you after you passed your danger mark, making you understandably excited. 

➵ Wakatoshi, though hesitant, gave you some suggestions about drinks he would pick up when he was supposed to stay low on caffeine. 

➵ Your name was called and you went to grab your drink (A half-caf. macchiato) only to frown when a hand was faster than yours.

➵ “Pregnant woman aren’t allowed coffee.” A man sneered, dumping the full coffee into the nearby trashcan.

➵ You internally whined at the lose before glaring at the man, the barista already making you a new drink as well as the one you ordered for Toshi.

➵ Was this alpha trying to mansplain pregnancy...to a pregnant lady?

➵ The man was yammering on and on about, fake, side effects. 

➵ It took ten whole minutes for you to get him off your back as a pair of kind beta women came up behind you, pretending to know you and taking the drink and leading you out the door.

➵ They handed the drinks back to you when you were out the door before waving you off, letting you make the small trek back to your home.

“Holy hell, ‘Toshi. The audacity of some people.” You huffed, setting down his drink before sitting beside him. He rose a brow, quickly pulling you in with a hand resting on your swollen baby bump. 

“What do you mean, love?” 

You huffed, sipping your drink while pulling your legs in. “This man tried explaining what I can and cannot have in my pregnancy. Like, he was acting like I didn’t know. He threw out my first drink and some betas had to come help!”

The grip around you tightened, making you look up at your alpha. His eyes were stone and cold, making you question whether or not telling him was a good idea. He huffed before settling himself, picking you up with one arm and a scooping motion and his cup in his other hand, he carried you to your bedroom, gently placing you in your nest and the cups on the bedside table, you watched Wakatoshi move quickly around the room. He pulled off his sweater, pulling on a t-shirt, replaced his jeans with sweats, and even grabbed your pregnancy pillow, scenting it before handing it and the sweater to you. You took them gratefully, setting them down while Wakatoshi crawled in beside you, pulling you down with him. 

“Next time, I’m going with you.”  

You laughed. “Whatever makes you feel better, ‘Toshi.” 

His warm hand on your stomach lulled you, and your pup, to a sweet rest. 

[ashdumpsterpile]

ASH’S TMA HURT/COMFORT/FLUFF REC LIST 

For the gays. (And @damcrows who’s been dead for the past 24 hours. Rest in peace babe. Read some gay fic. Deny the inevitability of canon. <3)

___

the end, but the start (of all things that are left to do)  by @ajkal2

Jon wakes up.

aka. mag200 tore out my heart

(Very smol, very short, very spoiler. Def recommend for anyone who just finished the podcast.)

remind me how to smile by @tamerofdarkstars

Jon is probably fine, just hiding out somewhere while the whole murder thing blows over and that's... fine. Martin is fine with that explanation. Really. He's got plenty to distract himself - like listening through the entire What the Ghost episode library, for example. Or watching Georgie Barker's Instagram livestreams.

(Yea this was in the last rec list, but you don’t understand THE ADMIRAL GIVES CUDDLES)

Chamomile by Dribbledscribbles

Whatever the ex-tea was, if it really had ever been that last bag of chamomile Martin claimed he’d found tucked in the back of the cupboard, it was fast now.

Martin had tried catching it, chasing it, blocking its way with shoebox lids and plates and an upended footstool, but the thing was just too quick. Jon knew as well as Knew that he might have left off the attempts completely if not for the creature’s preferred game.

The game was, See How Many Times I Can Push Martin Towards Cardiac Arrest Before He Comes at Me with The Broom.

(Scottish Honeymoon Era. Adorable and weird. A vampire gets harassed.)

hey stranger by @ennuijpg

It’s a late night Tesco run, how eventful could it be? It’s not like Martin is going to run into his boss who’s wearing something absurdly different from usual and get the most acute form of whiplash possible from seeing him, right?

(Martin runs into Jon at the grocery store and has an existential crisis.)

roses roses, roses. by @judesstfrancis

Rose scented laundry detergent. Running into Jon in the breakroom. Running into Jon on his way back to his desk. Rose scented detergent. Running into Jon. Roses. Jon. Roses, roses, roses. 

(Canon enemies to friends to lovers au-ish. Martin POV. Very pining much sweet.)

go softly by doomcountry

And there is nothing else besides this. 

(More hurt/comfort than fluff. Scottish Honeymoon Era. Mild eye mutilation.)

Not Alone by @backofthebookshelf

After the coffin, Daisy and Jon are both fragile. They hold each other up. 

(Post-buried Jon&Daisy starter pack. Very hurt/comfort.)

trust my love by antlsepticeye

“you… you’re real, aren’t you?” jon whispers, the fog slowly dissipating from his mind. “it is not a trick?”

“i’m here,” martin says softly, reaching up to grab jon’s hand that was resting on his cheek, intertwining his fingers with jon’s and squeezing. he moves jon’s hand to martin’s chest, resting it over his heart. “you’re alright. i’m alright. take your time, love. let’s just take some deep breaths, okay?”

(TOUCHSTARVED JON HAS ENTERED THE CHAT.)

reaching out by Athina_Blaine

By the time things settled, when Martin had finally managed to crack through his cold shell, feel some of his old self returning to him in bits and pieces, they had found their little routine.

One that had the two of them sleeping in the same bed, making breakfast, going to the mart. Where Jon reached for his wrist while they slept, and Martin luxuriated in the gentle warmth of his fingers.  

But not one where Martin reached back. One that had Martin kissing Jon awake or taking his hand over the breakfast table, because ... Martin never had the courage to try. And then it never became a part of the routine.

And Martin desperately wanted it to be.

-

Martin and Jon have an important conversation.

(More Scottish Honeymoon Era for the soul. Hurt/comfort/fluff.)

Belabor by @janekfan​

Jon's given the position of Archivist and is falling apart at the seams. Tim and Sasha are upset and playing games. Elias is overbearing and manipulative.

And poor Martin is stuck cleaning up the mess.

(THEE first fic I ever read for tma. Season 1, hurt/comfort/fluff, and hints of Jmartin. janekfan is the absolute master of seasons 1-3 hurt/comfort. This is my favorite, but pls check out the rest of their fics.)

tea, blankets, and a damnable stubborn attitude by ivelostmyspectacles

“Are you really gonna stay here and pester Jon all evening?”

“I’m not pestering him,” Martin retorted, sounding vehement if not busy going through the cupboards. “I’m heating up soup.”

“Oh, you might as well make him another cup of tea while you’re at it.”

“Oh, good idea.”

Jon shot Tim a withering look.

(The one where Jon is ill, Martin makes tea and they watch doctor who together. Fluff 1000%.)

A Kind Hand by @voiceless-terror

Jonathan Sims was adjusting just fine, thank you very much.

In which a minor workplace spill causes Jon to realize that he might have friends.

(Ah yes, the other master of seasons 1-3 fic aka voiceless-terror being my other fav author in the fandom. This one is also season 1 hurt/comfort/fluff.)

A Weather In The Flesh by @cuttoothed

"There is a span of years where Jon doesn’t touch anyone other than the occasional hand shake. It’s not so bad. He’s never been someone who’s needed physical affection."

*

Jon has never been any good at making people want to stick around.

(More touched starved Jon! Much hurt/comfort!)

Something Old, Something New by @cirrus-grey

Months have passed, and everyone is doing better than they were. Daisy and Basira are getting married, Melanie is feeling her old self, Georgie is as much herself as she has ever been, and even Jon has stabilized on his wild fall away from humanity. Everyone is doing better.

Well. Almost everyone.

(Daisy/Barsira wedding! Melanie is a bitch and we love her! Jmartin dance! Post-canon (almost) everyone lives!)

The Weight of Love by @voiceless-terror

Jon is a restless sleeper. Martin attempts to adjust. 

(The fic where Jon is literally me and Martin attempts to sleep for 1k words.)

The Art of Conversation by @voiceless-terror

"Do you ever stop talking?"

Jon has a complicated relationship with words. Difficulties come and go.

(Jon has adhd and Martin is in love.)

Novelty by @backofthebookshelf

Jon experiences A Sexual Attraction; Martin has A Concern. They figure it out.

(Any fic that explores the ace spectrum is a 10/10. We stan all ace interpretations of jon on this blog.)

Half a Hug by Dathen

I know you weren’t going to hurt me, I trust you, he said again and again. And then a different kind of fear shone through, hollow and echoing: “Please don’t stop touching me."

-

Or: Life is hard when you're touch-starved but have trauma related to your closest friend.  Spoilers through TMA 132.

(Honestly bless every author who saw jon&daisy and was like. They’re siblings. No I will not elaborate.)

the loneliness never left me (but i can put it down in the pleasure of your company) by Athina_Blaine

It was about Martin making Jon feel safe, treasured, and loved. And it had been so, so long since anyone made him feel that way.

And, in the face of it all, Jon was starting to flounder.

(At this point I just need to make separate rec list for Scottish Honeymoon Era.)

you can watch me corrode by scarletfish

"So, how long have you been pulling this shit then?"

"I… excuse me?" Jon’s indignant, certain she can’t mean what he thinks she means.

"When was the last time you ate?"

(Georgie decides Jon and Melanie need a normal day off. Jon learns that he and Melanie have more in common than he thought.)

(Look, Melanie isn’t my favorite person in tma, but she and Jon are like THE SAME PERSON and I adore fics that elaborate on their relationship.)

Out of the Wind, In From the Cold by @ostentenacity

There are two bedrooms in the safehouse, and two beds.

For a moment, Jon considers asking to share, but decides against it with a wince. “I really loved you,” Martin had told him. Loved. Past tense. And Martin doesn’t exactly have a lot of choices right now in terms of company; it would be cruel to demand he play at feelings he no longer has just to make Jon happy.

(For a moment, Martin considers asking to share. But he dismisses the idea with a shake of his head. Jon has already done so much for him. Martin isn’t about to ask for more, especially not when it’s something he doesn’t really need. He has his right mind back, and he has Jon’s friendship. That should be enough for him. It’ll have to be.)

---

Jon thinks that Martin doesn’t love him. Martin thinks that Jon doesn’t love him. They do not, of course, discuss this. Unrequited love is already awkward enough, right? No need to dwell on it.

(THEE SCOTTISH HONEYMOON ERA FIC. IT’S ABOUT THE PINING, BEING MUTUALLY OBLIVIOUS AND FALLING IN LOVE. 10000/10.) 

I Do by @voiceless-terror

“I, um- this was supposed to be a lot more romantic, I swear.” Martin looks down at the dirty bar floor. “I had it all planned out, I-I was going to take you somewhere nice, and then we’d go for a walk in the square- I’ll still do it!” He hurries to explain, as if that’s the most pressing part of this situation. “It’ll be really nice, I’ve already hired a photographer-”

In a fit of protectiveness, Martin proposes to Jon.

(Everyone lives, Martin accidentally proposes and Jon is crying in public.) 

________

[saturnsummer]

helpless.

han joon hwi does all he can to save kang sol a. kang sol a, for the first time, realises she’s not alone.

ao3 link

notes: this has been manifesting in me ever since i saw the scene of sol a fainting. i’m sorry it’s so long, but i hope the law school fans like it! it’s my first time, but i’m open to request and improvements. do share with your fellow solhwi fans if you like it! any grammar mistakes and all will be taken fully responsible by me.

edit: this is written by @inactiverat , which is MY secondary account. i did not copy this from someone else. both accounts belong to ME. i am republishing this on my primary blog to better manage.

words: 4130 words.

it’s been a terrible day for sol.

forget about a terrible day, it has been a week of horror.

she can’t remember the last time she laid her head on the pillow of her clean sheets and mattress. with her semester test coming on friday, she has spent the entire weekend cramming for her test. she has opted to sleep at her desk for no more than 10 minutes at a time. her eyes sting from the roll-on muscle relief ointment that she rolls on every few hours under her eyes. her head pounds and the only things she has eaten are ramyeon and black coffee. (no sugar, extra shots.)

sol sighs as she fixes another highlighter in her top bun. she’s been staring at the same question for hours. she looks over her desk, hoping to find peace by seeing a sleeping sol b, but only remembers that she went home. her tiger mom’s orders, since “she shouldn’t study with her roommate, who is at the bottom of the cohort.”

sol visibly frowned as she thought of that sentence. she doesn't need to be reminded every minute and second of her life that she’s the worst. that whenever she fails a test, the smarty pants are cheering due to the bell curve. that she barely scrapes through every class. that she blubbers and mutters answers like an idiot in every lecture.

that’s why she works so hard. to show that she doesn't need money or connections to succeed in this school. that a single parented girl, making enough to get by, holding a part time job can be like the rest. for her mom, she tolerated years of violent abuse, yet still being so strong for her children. for dan, who she so desperately misses and wants to find, even though she knows dan may never want to see her. for byeol, the reason why she decided to study law; the only human she loves in this lawless world.

sol knows she’s pushing herself too hard. yeseul made an effort to remind her to sleep via text. bokgi teased her once during a study group after mentioning she looks like a disheveled panda. even professor kim pulled her out of lecture to give her a talk to remind her to eat.

but joon hwi hasn't.

she internally scoffs. she doesn’t expect him to. (what does a second round judicial exam passer want to know about the worst student?) and maybe, she doesn't want him to. she wants to show him she can do it on her own. she can’t count the number of times he helped her with her grades and cases. studying alone without help was the smallest thing she can do to show him her independence.

thus, she found every moment to stay away. well, from him, in particular. she only came to lectures on time, sat at the back (as opposed to next to him) and left immediately. she returns to her dorm to study (ditching study groups with him in it) and only leaves in the odd hours to get drinks and food when she’s absolutely starving. she hears the buzzes and rings from yeseul and joonhwi, but only smiles when they ask about her inactivity. (“it was dead. i must have forgotten to charge it again.”)

she sighs in frustration and stands from her chair, grabbing her phone and keys out to the pantry area. she needed more caffeine, if she was going to survive this night.

what she doesn't expect to see, is han joon hwi, devouring his late night snack of ramyeon at the table. the shuffling of her furry slippers raises his head from his precious bowl.

“you’re still up?” he asks.

it’s too late to turn around and pretend she didn’t see him. so instead, sol just nods silently as opposed to her defensive remarks. joon hwi stops slurping his noodles and sets the bowl aside. preparing to walk to the staircase, his next question freezes sol in her steps.

“why have you been avoiding me?”

his voice is gentle and nowhere near angry. but concerned and fearful, as if he’s done something wrong to upset her. for a moment, sol feels like she’s in her first lecture with professor yang and is left speechless. (only now, there is no where to hide.)

joon hwi wasn’t blind to her actions. he noticed her absence when she didn’t sit next to him in lectures. he noticed that whenever he was there for a study group session, she wouldn’t; but when he would ask the others, they would say she was there for the ones he wasn’t. joon hwi was certain that sol was avoiding him.

and he couldn’t understand why.

until now.

joon hwi’s eyes examine the young woman in front of him. he’s certain that a middle school student could figure this out; kang sol a is overworked. her dark eye circles are prominent, puffy and her bloodshot eyes do nothing but intensify her lack of sleep. he noticed just how pale her lips look, as he walks over to her. how has she gotten skinnier too?

joon hwi’s certain that she’s avoiding him not because of something he said that annoyed her. but because he knows that she doesn’t want him to see her in this state. his eyes soften and heart aches from the amount of effort she's putting in to her tests.

for sol, he knows how much the tests meant. it was like her entire life depended on it. that’s why he always wanted to help her. he didn’t want to see such a talented person fall behind. she has already proven herself worthy with all the cases she has participated in. but joon hwi knows that no matter how many times yeseul or bokgi or him say how smart and talented and how she’s doing great, she will never be satisfied in this cold, competitive prestigious school. she will always think she’s the worst and has no potential.

“sol.” his voice firm and serious. sol swears she felt a chill run down. she mentally braces herself for this conversation that she has tried all means to avoid. only one person dares address her as just ‘sol’.

“when did you last sleep? or eat proper food?” his eyes are serious, yet soft and glassy. his voice is gentle and soothing. she closes her eyes and lets out a silent sigh. she is nowhere the mock court, yet she feels like she has taken the witness stand and the oath. lying is perjury, she hears herself say.

“i’m doing fine. i just need to do well on this test.” she lies through her teeth. well, it’s a half true and a half lie. it’s just up to him to pick out which is the lie and truth. joon hwi isn’t an idiot, and can read her emotions with just a single look. it’s an utter lie.

“i’m getting coffee.” she mutters to herself. it was the whole reason she came out, anyways. her sleeve is caught by him but she yanks it away forcefully. she doesn’t even know why she’s being so harsh and angry to him. all he’s done is just ask how she’s doing.

“you need sleep. not caffeine.” he spins her around by her shoulders, his eyes serious and almost frustrated. she fails to meet his eyes, afraid of falling apart before him.

“joon, just let me be.” she says harshly and pushes his hands off before running to get that extra potent coffee. it was the first time she has ever called him that, and it falls out just as naturally as the word ‘sol’ does out of his. sol doesn’t notice how wet her eyes are until she’s downstairs, grabbing cans of coffee from the vending machine. (pathetic, she thinks, getting teary because of lying to her best friend.)

joon hwi doesn't follow. and sol isn't one bit affected.

not. at. all.

-----

the next time sol sees joon hwi is in the morning. he’s carrying his books and has his backpack slung over his shoulder, leaning against the wall. sol braces herself. she knows joon hwi to be protective and caring. but for him to be waiting at the entrance of their dorm was downright surprising.

sol’s not doing any better. when the caffeine and sugar stopped her from staying late, she resorted to stabbing her hand to keep herself awake. when her hand got too red and bloody, she switched to another spot on her arm. underneath her hoodie is her arm with dried blood and bruises all over. she’s surprised she hasn’t had blood poisoning yet.

sol flashes the most natural smile she can on her face, pretending as if her argument with him did not happen a few hours ago. her head was numb, but hanging on with the ointment she applied at her temples. she needed to act okay. just so he would stop worrying and leave her alone.

“sol.” joon hwi’s voice calls, going forward and grabbing her arm to support her. sol is about to create a joke, laugh it off and pretend everything is okay, hopefully convincing him she’s doing better (even if she’s far from it.). but what she doesn’t anticipate is his hand accidentally squeezing the sore wound of hers,

she hisses as his fingers dig into her wound and he immediately lets go. joon hwi’s eyes well in concern, not knowing what he’s done that caused her so much pain. sol’s eyes meet his, uncertain and afraid, as if a secret has been exposed. she pulls her sleeve down and is almost regretting that when joon hwi gently lifts her arm and lifts her sleeve up slightly to expose her arm and hand.

joon hwi takes her good hand in his and drags her to an empty staircase not far from where they were. joon hwi notes the dried blood on her hand and gives a disapproving sigh. just what was she doing to herself? she draws her hand back and pulls her sleeve down, hiding it away.

“sol, you need to take care of yourself.”

“joon, i’m doing okay, i promise. it’s not a big deal.” her voice upbeat and slightly more energetic. joon hwi is about to call her out from lying, but she flashes a smile. “come on, how can an exam defeat me?”

“i’m going to be late.” she says and runs ahead of him, joining yeseul and yebeom in front. sol feels a gnawing guilt in her heart for lying, but she momentarily forgets about it as yebeom sweeps them into a conversation.

i’m sorry, joon. i really am. but i’m not going to burden you any further.

joon hwi is left, helpless and broken, watching the back of the woman he loves stray further.

-----

it isn’t a secret that joon hwi and sol a are good friends. everyone on campus is always shocked. joon hwi, the school’s top student. sol a, the school’s worst student. everyone would have expected sol b when they heard ‘kang sol’. after all, it made sense, didn’t it? the two best students in school.

but what would be even more shocking is that han joon hwi, second round judicial exam passer, is deep in love with kang sol, the klutz with the top bun.

joon hwi couldn’t deny the joy he felt whenever sol was around. it started with study group and tutoring and messages about school. then it became lunches every moment they could. now, he couldn’t go a day without seeing her, hearing her voice or even a simple text. he can’t remember the moment he started falling for the clumsy woman, but when he realised it, he knew it was too late. he was in, deep.

and that's why he can’t bear to see her suffer. that’s why he spends late nights studying with her even though he doesn't need to. that’s why he insist walking her home, even though he installed the camera. (“i miss byeol! that smart cookie...” would always be his excuse.) that’s why he calls her ‘sol’, and he lets her call him ‘joon’, even though no one calls him that anymore.

sol locks herself in her room and buries herself under multiple books after her lectures. sol admits it, she’s tired. she can barely keep herself together and her body is so weak she doesn’t know how she managed to survive the week with less than two hours of sleep combined per day. she can’t remember the last nap she had that lasted more than half an hour.

the guilt from lying is eating her inside. when she closes her eyes, she can only see how hurt joon hwi’s face looks when he saw her arm. taking a shaky breath in, she doesn’t notice the tear running down her cheek. what was she even crying about? lying? hurting her best friend? fatigue? she slams her head against her books, shaking her thoughts out. it’s already 3am, and she doesn’t have much time left.

“kang sol a, you need to do this exam, you hear me? if you want to pass out, do it later on in the afternoon! you have 9 hours till the test.” she scolds herself out loud. stabbing her arm once again, she jerks herself awake and writes her notes over and over. just 9 more hours.

later on in the day, sol finds herself seated next to joon hwi. but she doesn’t notice him. her eyes are too out of focus to concentrate on anything but the paper and pen she holds. when the teaching assistant makes an announcement to start, she races against time and scribbles furiously. her head throbs, but she clings on to her last ounce of sanity keeping herself awake.

-----

she’s worse. joon hwi thinks. much, much worse. her skin is paler than normal and her eyes are fluttery. with her sleeve pulled up slightly, he notices the wound on her hand more bloody than it was. he visibly winces. but it’s nothing to the hurt in his heart. he knows that he should be busy scribbling, but his eyes are slightly glassy and all he can think of is her bloody hand.

all he wants to do is to drag her away. to take her far from this school. he wants to hold her small body in his arms and cradle her as he tends to her wounds. he wants to tuck her into a soft bed and stroke her brown hair. he wants to tell her how he feels, how she’s perfect, smart and beautiful in his eyes. how sol has already had his validation, and no matter how many kang sols there are, he will only have one in his heart.

as the clock leaves a minute or so to the end, sol struggles to keep her head from falling. she just needs to finish the last sentence. her eyes are blurred and her head has never felt more tight and woozy. her ramyeon from 4am is threatening to make an appearance.

“sol, you’re bleeding.” she hears an familiar echoed voice say next to her. instinctively, she brings a hand up to her nose, and wipes it, revealing the bright red blood. she can’t care for her jacket sleeve and carelessly wipes even though her arm aches. just a bit more, she tells herself.

the voices around her blur as she feels hands on her shoulder stopping her. she pushes them off weakly as she finishes the last word on her paper. she lets out a breath of relief and pushes her paper away from her. she’s finally done. she can finally breathe and have that nap. someone calls her name, but she’s too tired to respond.

then her eyes rolls back and she crashes into oblivion.

joon hwi manages to catch her head before it hits the table as she slumps sideways. he scribbles his name on his paper before chucking his paper and hers towards the teaching assistant. yeseul passes a tissue over to joon hwi and shakes her, eyes getting teary. he gently blots her nose, soaking up the blood. the other students leave unbothered, with only their study group crowding around them.

the next hour is a mad rush in joon hwi’s head. they are frantic for an ambulance, but joon hwi just cradles her body in his arms and runs outside. “it’s faster to run.” he says before taking off. she’s light, way too light for her frame, even with the layered coats that she’s wearing. when he reaches the hospital, she’s laid on a stretcher and sent for checks while the nurses ask him to wait for short while outside.

and for the third time, he stands outside, clutching to a bloody tissue, helpless.

-----

joon hwi wants to beat himself over and over. he should have been more forceful with her. heck, he should have done more than just watch silently. he should have sent packed lunches, compiled his notes, offered to stay up with her. even after when he knows how much sol is suffering, he only stood by.

his eyes are teary when he is allowed to see her. she looks so small under those white sheets. the doctor mentions that they had to take her hoodie off to patch her wounds and insert her IV drip. “dehydrated on caffeine, lack of nutrients and fatigue.” the doctor tells him. he only nods as the doctor leaves him.

his group chat is pinging with endless messages and he takes a moment to update them. he sends a quick text that he’ll let them know when she’s awake. his hand brushes the stray hairs out of her eyes and as best as he can, arranges her bangs the way she likes. his touch is as light as a butterfly as he lets his fingers brush pass her bandages.

with the curtain closed around him, joon hwi lets himself crumble silently, as tears run down his face, hands gripping sol’s stained hoodie sleeve. he wishes he could do something then just watch sol lie on the bed. he knows she is okay, but knowing that he could have prevented this worse case scenario from happening makes him upset. he gives himself a few minutes to compose himself before taking his own hoodie and layering it on her.

and for hours, joon hwi sits by her bed in his own thoughts, once again helpless.

-----

when she wakes up, her head pounds worse than the time she got the worse hangover in school. her eyes flutter, drawing the attention of joon hwi. her mind is cloudy as she starts registering the antiseptic smell and bright lights. her eyes come into focus as she turns over to find a pair of warm brown eyes looking at her.

“joon hwi...?” she says with barely any energy.

“you’re awake.” joon hwi lets himself sigh in relief knowing that she’s awake. it’s already 6pm. the others should be on their way over soon. he sends a quick “she’s awake” to the chat and shuts his phone.

“i... finished my exam right?” the words come tumbling out of sol’s mouth.

“that’s all you are thinking of now?” the anger in joon hwi’s voice catches her by surprise. she lowers her hand and avoids his eyes. she’s really done it, then. she’s really pissed him off.

“aren’t you one bit concerned about your health? you could have literally died being so overworked.” his eyes are glassy. realising that he’s frightening her, he lets a sigh out. joon hwi helps her sit up and props a pillow for her. her fingers fiddle with the thin blanket of the bed. there’s no point being strong in front of him now, after all this.

“you know how much every test means to me.” she mutters in a voice so soft, it’s unlike her to be so...small. joon hwi knows under that strong woman with a fiery passion for justice, there’s a vulnerable little girl, insecure and uncertain. but this was the first time, he realised, that she’s opening up herself.

“i’m so tired, joon. i’m so tired of running this stupid rat race that i’ll never win. i’m so sick of putting everything into my grades and not receiving anything back.” her voice so small, staring at the bandages on her hand. was the pain worth it? she’s not sure now.

joon hwi doesn’t say anything back. how could he? this man was born for this system, to bring law back to the country. he can’t compare to her, who spends countless nights studying, while taking care of her family. all he can do is sit by her bed and provide comfort.

“my head hurts. my body aches all over. yet, i can’t seem to do well in my exams. tell me, joon. just how long must i suffer?” his heart is pierced with every word she says. she’s so broken. joon hwi then notices the small pearls of tears dripping down her face.

his hand reaches out and his thumb rubs away her tears on her cheeks. he doesn’t know what prompted this, but sol doesn’t swat his hand away. she lets him as her hand wipes her remaining tears away.

“i’m here now. you can rely on me.” he says softly to her. suddenly, he takes her small hand in his and squeezes it in comfort. sol’s slightly taken aback, but she doesn’t know why she feels fuzzy inside. she feels warm and for the first time, she feels her burden lifted. with much courage, she gives a small smile.

“noona!” they hear a familiar panicked voice ring and they instinctively draw away from each other. if joon hwi’s face is slightly red, sol doesn't notice. sol is swept away into arguing with bokgi with her health and a teary eyed yeseul. even jiho and sol b came, but stood by silently. (jiho notices joon hwi’s flushed cheeks and his too-bright smile that he finally realises is meant for kang sol a. he makes a mental note about it.)

joon hwi leans back as he watches yeseul and bokgi fuss with sol’s health. he suppresses a smile as he looks at sol’s light laugh, knowing how her burdens are slowly fading and lifted. that he’s finally managed to reach out for his soulmate as she sinks further. it was going to be a journey, but joon hwi will drag her, his sol, out from her darkness every time.

i’m going to be there, no matter what, kang sol. you will not fight alone. i will stay with you, even when you think you don’t deserve it. it doesn't matter if you feel the same towards me or not. if i can see you smile and laugh, it’s enough for me. your happiness is all that matters.

because kang sol, i just love you so damm much.

-----

sol doesn’t notice the switch in her jacket. when she leaves about an hour later with her friends to eat jjajangmyeon (extra pickles, she orders.), she assumes the jacket she has by her bed is hers. she doesn't notice the sandalwood and jasmine smell, as opposed to her pine scented fabrics. when joon hwi teases her and she argues back in annoyance, she’s carefree and light.

when joon hwi smiles at her with his sweet smile, she can’t help but think she’s so lucky that she has him, of all people, by her side. her heart skips a beat, and she’s certain that she feels more than friends towards him. that all this time, she has finally fallen for the cheeky and charming joon hwi behind his intellect.

she smiles back, teeth bared and eyes crinkled as they walk back.

after all, who is to stand against her now, when she has him by her side?

joon hwi, thank you for finding me no matter how much i try to hide away. thank you for believing in me when everyone didn’t. i know you like someone else, and it’s okay. because whoever that is will be so damm lucky to have you. to see you smile your charming smile is enough to put me at ease.

because han joon hwi, i admit, i have fallen for you. i’m in love with you.

-----

bonus:

“noona, they like each other, don’t they?” bokgi watches as sol a barks at joon hwi. joon hwi only runs ahead and buries his hands in his hoodie pockets while letting out light laughs and continues teasing.

“oh, they are so whipped for each other.” yeseul triumphantly says as she walks with the rest behind the not-so-obvious lovebirds.

well, this would be an interesting relationship to see unfold.

[acourtofsnakes]

Mesh’la - Rogue, Chapter 18| The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader (f)

(I know the gif is Javi, but there aren’t exactly many Mando gifs that would fit this chapter.. I’ve also had this for a while so let me know if its yours and i’ll tag you♥︎)

Summary: After Din’s revelation, walls that have been crumbling for a while, finally break. 

Warnings: 18+ Swearing, smut, cunnilingus/fingering(f receiving),unprotected sex,  p in v sex, flufffffffff finally. Let me know if I forgot anything!

AN: I have nothing to say but… enjoy. 

Word count: 7.6k +

Rogue Taglist:  @snipskixandbeskar​   @weirdowithnobeardo​ @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @jackgrzs @sarahjkl82-blog @boomtownboy @goldielocks2004 @seninjakitey @what-iwish-you-knew @queenofthefaceless @rosiefridayrogersunday @greeneyedblondie44 @itsnottilly @welcometothepedroverse @xgoldenjenny @heyitsjaybird @mamacitapascal​

Rogue Masterlist | Introduction| 1: Solus| 2: Arir | 3: Tor | 4: Gaa'tayl | 5: Kyr’am | 6: Cabur | 7: Ret'urcye Mhi | 8: Haran| 9: E’tad | 10: Tome | 11: Aliit ori'shya tal'din| 12: Mar’eyce | 13: Kov’nyn| 14: Ne’tra| 15: Or’dinii| 16: Dar| 17: Haalur| 18: Mesh’la

Mando’a Translation: Mesh'la - beautiful

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Those three little words echoed around your mind, bouncing around the walls of your conscious and then travelling down to your heart where they curled up there, settled into the space that had been carved out for Din, long before you met him. 

“You…” Your voice broke a little, so you cleared your throat and tried again, talking over the splash of the water that was no doubt going to turn cold any moment. “You love me…?”

Din was breathing heavily, the wet fabric of his clothes pulling over his chest and he nodded. “Yes. I love you.” His voice was still soft, but imploring you to understand him, to listen and stop saying such things about yourself. “I… I’ve loved you for a long time, sweetheart.” 

Well.

His words rendered you… sort of speechless for a moment. 

He loved you. 

Din had loved you for “a long time”. 

Just as you had loved him. 

You blinked up at him, water rolling down your hair, making beads over your skin as steam floated about the small space. It probably wasn’t doing his helmet any good, but there was no way either of you could leave this moment. “I… I had no idea...” 

Din laughed, it wasn’t cruel, it was more a sort of exhausted laugh, yet there was a level of love in it, “I know… You’re the most intelligent person I know, and you could talk your way out of anything... but when it comes to noticing what’s right in front of you…” His voice was a little teasing, “You are a little blind, princess.”

Despite the revelations and the shock – and elation - screaming through you, you did have to pout. “You can’t blame me… How was I supposed to know?”

Din leant against the wall, “Well, I know this…” He tapped his helmet, “Makes things a little difficult but…” He huffed a little, “I didn’t really know it myself at first. It wasn’t until people started to mention it… I realised that everything I’d been feeling...” Din seemed to stumble a little over his words again. “For weeks… I… I’ve just... needed to be close to you. After I sent you to Nevarro, I met Haran for the first time on Tatooine. He told me he knew who you were, that he was coming after you and I only had a week. I was… I felt something I haven’t felt in a long, long time. True fear. And when I got into that cantina… and I saw him sitting there with you…” Din shook his head, looking down. “I wanted to kill him. And then you started shouting at me…” He laughed a little, “You always have such a fire in you when you’re pissed at me… It’s like flying into the sun.” 

You couldn’t help the soft laugh of your own, “I’d say I’m sorry but…” 

He lifted his head, tilting it and you could feel his eyes on you through the visor, “Then I’d know that fall had done more damage than it already has.” The laughter visibly drained from his body, his voice, “I thought I’d lost you… You were…” He seemed to almost choke on the words, “You were dead. In my arms. Your heart wasn’t beating… You were just… gone.” His voice broke and he sucked in a breath. “My whole world stopped.” 

The feeling of darkness, of those icy bands wrapping around you and filling your lungs washed over you, and you shuddered. You wouldn’t be forgetting the feeling of having the air crushed from your lungs for a long, long while. 

You could only imagine what it was like for Din, having to pull you out. Having to coax your broken body into living again…

“I tried and tried, but… it just wouldn’t work. You were dead.” His voice was stricken, haunted and you had a feeling you might be waking up to Din’s nightmares soon too. 

He sucked in a hitched gasp of his own, touching his helmet like he would run his fingers through his hair – his hands were shaking, almost violently and he curled them into a fist.

“All I could think was... how am I supposed to go on? I let you down, in the worst way possible. I let you slip away, I let him take you and hurt you and then you died... without... without seeing my face, without knowing what keeps me up at night, the things I so desperately want to say to you. That threaten to come out every time I see and... and I have to change the subject or leave because I look at you and I just...” He lifted his head again, watching you, his chest heaving, “Lose my mind. Lose everything I know. It all just fills with you. And then I don’t know which way is up or where to go that isn’t by your side. I want to be there, all the time. I want to hear the way you think, I want you to shout at me when I annoy you. I want to watch you play with the kids and get them to do things when they don’t listen to me. I want to see the world through your eyes, see the beauty in every single thing.” 

You couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything but let these words, this outpouring wash over you and listen to the way he’d been feeling for… months. 

“And to know that you would have died without knowing that, without me being able to tell you just how much you mean to me, how much I need you in my life and I want to protect you. How you make me a better man and-” He made a little noise, like he was winded. 

“Din.” You limped across to him, cupping the jaw of the helmet, “Din, breathe.” There were tears rolling down your cheeks, your mind reeling at his sweet, meaningful words, but he was going to send himself into some kind of attack in a minute. You slid your hands down to rest on top of his shoulders, feeling the broad strength beneath the fabric. 

At your touch, even with the layers, he groaned like he was in pain. “Whenever you touch me… I feel like I’m burning. Like… electricity is searing through me. It makes me feel alive. I… Mandalorian’s don’t really… we don’t really experience touch.” He motioned loosely to his armour, being careful not to bump you – or move you away. “We don’t get to feel the breeze on our hair… or the sun on our skin. We don’t feel a casual touch or a hug or… anything.” He sounded a little hesitant, speaking such words that he would never, ever have previously said aloud before. His tone was a little jagged and stilted, like he was torn between keeping the anonymity of the Mandalorian’s and telling you everything.

“But… When I feel your touch, your skin… It’s like... I’m feeling everything all at once.” He lifted his hand, brushing wet, gloved fingers down your cheek, but the touch still ignited you, “That night I felt your hair... and when you had your nightmare… I thought I was going to die. From how you felt around me, the way you were so… ready… ” Another ragged hitch of breath. 

You turned your head into his touch, goosebumps rising over your skin, “So, touch me again.” 

Din’s fingers stilled, and you almost heard his heart thud, “I… what?” 

You lifted your hand, brushing your fingertips over the edge of his gloves, “Touch me.” You looked up at him, heat coiling in your belly, your very soul, “Din, touch me. Please.” Desire and pleading coloured your voice, your expression. A wildness came over you, and you shed yourself of your torn top, leaving just the thin bandeau around your chest. 

Din’s hands curled into fists as you took off your top and he looked at you, your lips parted, your cheeks flushed, desire burning through your eyes and darkening them. 

“Close your eyes.” His voice was husky and rough, equally desperate for you. 

Without a hesitation, you obeyed, squeezing shut your eyes, barely able to restrain yourself. 

You heard the sound of leather on skin, two wet plops on the floor and you expected Din’s touch on your skin but… instead, you heard him pick up your top. 

A soft ripping noise was heard over the water, and then you felt the sodden fabric against your closed eyes. He was tying it behind your head, like a blindfold. “Din, what are you…” 

“Shhh, cyar'ika.” There were some sounds you couldn’t identify and then… 

Then the sound of air hissing – a little bubbly -, and then something hard and metallic being set down on the floor, then the wet plop of his top. 

Your heart stopped. Everything stopped. 

Something hard. 

And metallic.  

Oh, Maker and all the stars above. 

“Din…” You whispered his name this time, your heart suddenly pounding a frantic beat in your chest, your neck, your wrists. Heat flooded across your body, your skin tightening in anticipation and it was a little harder to breathe. 

He’d taken off his helmet.

You heard footsteps, and then Din’s hands cupped your cheeks, big, a little rough and always so warm. “Princess…” He whispered it back, and you had the sense of him coming closer. 

The first brush of his lips consumed you. 

They were a little chilly, but plush and unimaginably soft. And there was a scratchiness on your lips…

Oh, by the Maker, he had a moustache… That did things to you. Things that resulted in heat and warmth between your legs. 

Din moved those lips over your own, like butterfly wings, checking you were okay with this. 

Like he wasn’t the one who had just removed his helmet for the first time, properly around you. Like you weren’t standing there with just a piece of torn cloth shielding your eyes. You could easily reach up and swipe it away and see his true face. 

But you would never do such a thing. 

Never even think of it. 

And he knew that, which is why he trusted you so much. 

It made your heart ache, in the best way. 

But this soft kissing… it wasn’t enough. 

You angled your head more into his, his rough hands still cupping your jaw and you kissed him with a little more pressure. Your hands reached up, fingertips brushing his bare shoulders and then you dropped them to his waist instead, and you grasped his hips, letting him know he could let go, that you needed him to let go as well. 

Din made a little noise against your lips, and by the way he went still, you just knew it was with restraint. You could feel that tidal wave inside him, cresting and so close to crashing back down. 

You wanted it. No… you needed to consume you both. 

Needed him to consume you. 

You pulled back mere millimetres, just enough to whisper, “Din… Let go…” You brushed your hands along the sodden fabric of his trousers, your thumbs brushing the bare skin of his hips.  

That simple touch, that whisper of a caress on such previously untouched skin melted any restraint within him. 

With a noise like a moan and growl all in one, he pulled you closer. His mouth came down on yours, kissing you with a sudden fierce intensity that seared through you. 

It broke your own walls, and you curled your fingers into his belt, rising up on tiptoe and matching his frantic pace. 

Within seconds, his tongue lightly traced your lips, and when you parted for him, he moaned low in the back of his throat, that proper taste of you nearly bringing him to his knees. 

The press of his hot tongue against your own was a blessing, a curse, and a damnation all in one. 

He tasted like… like cool water on a hot day, like fresh tea in the morning, like the best chocolate cake, all rolled into one and topped with his distinct, smokiness that clung to him. 

Din’s arms snaked around your waist, sliding up your back, holding you into his body but it wasn’t close enough, not enough for how long this had been building between the two of you. 

That intense heat never failed to take over, whether you were teasing each other, arguing, or doing delicious things like this. 

It had been there from that very first moment on Sorgan. 

You took the initiative, summoning the strength that had been building again and you pressed against him, pinning him to the wall just behind so you could lean your full body weight into him, so you could feel every inch of his body against yours. 

It was heavenly, the feel of his bare skin, so new to you, against your own and the contact made your eyes roll back into your head a little bit. 

He was solid, warm, and so familiar beneath your body, that every cell just cried out for more, no matter how close you were. 

Din made a choked noise of his own, his entire body shaking with all the contact, a sensation he had never felt for years. It was like stepping into the sunlight for the first time, like sinking into hot water, or being electrocuted. 

You felt him shaking against you, felt the ragged drag of his breath and you pulled back from his lips, “Din, if this is too much-“ 

He shook his head, chasing your kiss, his voice almost tortured, “No, don’t. Don’t stop, please. I… Just don’t stop.” He gasped a little, bringing his mouth back to yours. 

You needed him, needed him in body, soul and mind and wanted to burn with him forever. 

A torn sound of need escaped against his lips as you fought his tongue for dominance, tracing your tongue over his teeth. 

Din groaned, his hands leaving their roaming over your back, just long enough to slide down over your ass and the backs of your thighs. He grasped them, bending his own knees and he picked you up, winding your legs around his waist. 

He brushed against your core, and your moans of unison echoed over the pounding of the water. He rocked his hips against yours, the friction pressing against your burning heat, the rub of every hard in of him. He needed you, as much as you needed him and you were prepared to ask him, beg him to take you right here in the ‘fresher, against the wall…

Except, it chose that moment to go absolutely, completely, ice cold. 

You squealed, pulling away from Din and ducking your head into his shoulder, trying to hide from the icy spray that was now hitting mostly the back of your head and neck. “Fuck me, that’s cold!” 

From somewhere above you, Din burst into a chuckle, “Hang on, princess.’ His voice was low and husky, and only heated you even further, the icy water having no effect in diminishing the fire. 

He turned off the taps, and the sudden silence was almost as loud as the water had been. 

He gingerly stepped from the wet floor, holding you against his body still and he fumbled with one hand before a towel was swathed around your body. “Let’s get you warmed up.” 

I can think of way you can warm me up.

There was a soft snort, and you knew your face had given away that thought, even with the blindfold. You rested your head back against Din’s neck, allowing him to carry you back to your room, just relishing in the feeling of being held by him – in more ways than one.

He made his way expertly through the ship, his feet making wet squelches on the floor that had you giggling. 

By the time the doors to your room opened, you were both laughing, cheeks flushed and hearts stumbling over each other. 

Din set you down carefully, his hands on your upper arms and the laughter faded away into something much more intense and serious. 

You could feel his eyes on you, dragging over your skin like he was taking in every single inch. His breathing was ragged, his touch searing through your skin and warming your very bones. It occurred to you that you knew this man, inside and out. You could tell the change in his mood from his breathing, the tenseness of his body or what his head tilts meant. 

You hadn’t seen his face, or any of his skin and yet… you felt like you knew him deeper than that, deeper than just what was on the surface. You could locate him in a dark room, from the sound of his breathing alone. 

And he knew you too. 

He always had. 

His warm, broad hands brushed up your arms, over your shoulders, tracing a path. “Are you okay?” The rough cadence of his voice told you that he was holding back, everything in him that was still threatening to come out. But he was making sure you wanted this, wanted to cross the wall that had been crumbling ever since that night you broke down. 

One word from you, and he would haul that wall back up and it would be fine. 

Your lips parted at his touch and his voice, desire and a need for him coiling in your belly. You wanted to be close to him, to feel his skin on yours, his touch, map his body blindly and just… Rise to the stars and never fall back down, wrapped in him and everything he had bought to your life. “Yes… I want this… Din, I want you-”

No sooner had you finished talking, Din made a noise low in his throat and then he was on you, his hands sliding up your neck to your jaw, framing it in his hands like you were something precious and rare, and then his warmed lips came down upon yours. They were soft at first, dancing against your own with an almost shyness. And then it changed, his tongue brushing over your lips and then slipping inside your lips when you granted him permission. 

His tongue danced with your own, and just the brush of his facial hair and the taste of him could have brought you to your knees. You moaned low, arching your body into him so you were pressed against his tall, broad frame, the bare skin of his belly and the tickle of his happy trail only making you wetter. 

As you battled for dominance in the kiss, Din walked you backwards, pulling from your mouth with a tug to your lip and then he was planting kisses along your jaw, trailing them to your ear where he sucked your earlobe gently, earning a breathy moan in return. 

He pushed you gently toward the bed, but not before pressing soft kisses down your neck – and then tracing back up the line of your throat with his tongue. 

You felt that stroke of his tongue everywhere, the wet heat of it searing a line straight down your spine and you cried out a little, hand flying up to the back of his head to grip his hair by instinct. 

And you froze. 

You hadn’t asked for permission to touch him – if it was even okay, if he wanted you to. “Din, I – I’m sorry.” Your voice was choked with need, your fingers loosening. 

“No!” Din shook his head rapidly, “No, keep it there – I... Touch me. Please.” His voice was hoarse again, his words hot and desperate against your throat. 

His repetition of his words from the ‘fresher assured you it was okay, and you wound your fingers back into his hair, curling the locks around your fingers as he mouthed over your skin, dragging his teeth, “Din, I need you...” 

The edge of the thin cot hit the backs of your thighs, and he pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek, “I know, sweetheart...” He kissed underneath your chin, then the hollow of your throat, “I’ve needed you, for so, so long...” His lips trailed lower, ghosting over your collarbones where he paused for a second, tracing a hot, wet line along them with his tongue again, “I think since the moment you tried to kill me on Sorgan.” The trail of lips moved over your chest, then your left breast, on the fabric of your bandeau, “When you teased me every moment after…” His words resounded with your soft, breathy moan, and he moved to the right, “And on Nevarro…”

He groaned a little, slowly sinking lower and his hands came up to your sides, as he bit gently on the skin of your belly, “Those words that came out of your mouth on Nevarro… You were killing me, you were seeing right into my head and telling me my dreams, like you knew them.” His tongue darted out, tracing a circle around your belly button and a shudder ran through you. 

You dropped your hands to his shoulders, needing more grip and balance. And there was more than enough. You knew his shoulders were broad, but fuck, actually holding them was a completely different story. 

Stars, you were going to fall apart and all he was doing was kissing you. 

“You have no idea how much I wanted to do those things, how long I’ve wanted to… but… Most of all, I wanted this. To be able to take my time, and explore,” He kissed underneath your belly button, his facial hair scratching gently on the sensitive skin, “Every…” his hands slid down to grasp the belt loops of your trousers, and the waistband of your underwear, “Single…” He slid them both down over your hips, exposing your bare skin to him, “Inch,” He dropped down to his knees as your trousers reached your ankles, and he helped you out of them, “Of your body first.” He sat back on his knees, his voice sounding hoarse and choked again. “Look at you…”

Through the thin fabric of the blindfold, you could just make out the silhouette of him on his knees in front of you, a faint outline of his broad shoulder, a fuzzy outline of curly hair. 

Your knees were trembling in anticipation, in fact your whole body was trembling as he just… admired you.

On his knees, worshiping you for the warrior goddess he believed you were. 

His fingertips danced up your calves, your knees, grasping the backs of your thighs and then you felt his nose against your skin, his hair tickle your lower belly and then, finally, the press of his lips on your wet heat, but too soft, too gentle. 

A ragged gasp emerged from your throat, and you lifted your hand back to his hair, pushing him closer, “Din.” You didn’t care how pleading your voice was, but you needed more than soft kisses. 

A low chuckle rumbled against your sensitive bundle of nerves, and he nudged his nose to them once more before his hands tightened on your thighs. 

The first brush of his tongue elicited a cry of relief from your lips, echoing with Din’s appreciative half growl at your taste, at how wet you were for him. He went in after that, dragging his tongue through your folds in broad strokes, like he already couldn’t get enough of you. “Shit, you taste...” he groaned again, burying his face further between your thighs, his tongue probing your entrance before sliding back up between your folds again. 

You already couldn’t breathe, the moan getting caught in your chest and resulting in a soft, high whine and you leant into his touch, arching your spine. Letting your head drop back, you could do nothing but feel the hot stroke of his tongue, licking every inch of you. 

He tilted his head back just slightly for a better angle, circling your clit with the tip of his tongue and your legs shook again, aching as they held you up and trembling.  

“Din, wait-” You reluctantly tugged his head back, then half collapsed back onto the bed, and Din followed you like a magnet. He remained on his knees at the edge of the bed, and hooked one of your legs over those sinful shoulders, allowing him a better angle, a deeper angle to devour you like he was starving. 

He pressed his tongue flat against you, before sucking on your clit with an intensity that made the room spin. It was like he was pulling electricity through your veins, making every nerve stand to attention, wait for his command. 

You dropped your back onto the bed, both hands fisting into his hair and your hips rocking upwards against his lips. There was an ache within you, you wanted to feel more of him, needed just a little more – 

Like always, he read your mind, and mere seconds later, he was sinking two long fingers into you, curling them up exactly as he had that night. Exactly as he knew you liked. 

“Fuck, Din-” You keened his name softly, hips moving to match the pace as he pumped his fingers in out, curling them up into that spot that he found so easily. 

He heard every noise you made, every reaction of your body and adjusted his pace and pressure in response, tucking away your reactions so he would always remember what you liked the most. 

His rhythm wasn’t perfectly balanced, but it altered according to you. He learned fast and made sure that every single action provided the best possible feeling for you. 

And stars above did he do a good job. 

That electricity and fire was curling tense in your lower belly, singing through every inch of your soul. You were so desperate for him, your body crying out for him so badly that he had taken you to that edge already. “You… Shit, keep going, just like that…” 

Din switched pace so fast you didn’t register it at all. One minute, his lips were sucking at your clit, his fingers stroking you – and the next, his tongue was pushing inside you and his fingers were on your bundle of nerves instead, drawing rapid circles and figures of eight that made you fully arch up off the bed. 

“Din!” You cried his name, your whole body crying his name actually. It just felt so good, so devastatingly good that you weren’t sure how you were supposed to not want to do this all the time. 

Your back arched further, your fingers wound so tightly in his hair as you shamelessly rode your hips to his rhythm, chasing down your high that he was holding you above. You knew you must be hurting his head, but he didn’t seem to mind, if anything, it was spurring him on, knowing that you needed to hold onto something to try and contain the pleasure. 

His hands shifted to your hips, not to hold you down, but to pull you in closer, so he could bury his tongue deeper inside you, his own moans and growls of pleasure vibrating through the soft flesh. His stubble and moustache scratched against your sensitive skin, and that in itself was herding your body closer and closer to the edge, dangling you over. 

Words were beyond you, the hot press of his tongue inside your walls was something you could never forget, and as he curled his tongue upward, brushed against that spot and pressed his fingers down harder, light exploded across your eyes. 

The heat of your pleasure seared through every inch of your body, taking over with a pleasant hum, rendering you almost helpless as his name fell from your lips again and again. 

Din didn’t stop, working you through your orgasm with that same pace, until your hips stopped rocking, your fingers relaxed in his hair and you could see again.

“Fucking hell…” You mumbled the words, shivering as Din cleaned you up, soft gentle strokes with a husky chuckle. 

He pressed kisses back up your body, allowing you to catch your breath but by the time he reached your lips, and you tasted yourself on his tongue, you were ready, needing him again. 

And by the hard line of his trousers, you knew he must be too. 

As soon as his lips touched yours, you kissed him with fierce intensity. Your hands roamed down his back, mapping over his scars and bruises, painting an image in your mind of the man you loved, bringing him to life in the darkness. 

He groaned into your mouth as you slipped your hands between your bodies, feeling the tenseness of his stomach muscles, layered with a softness that showed his age – which you absolutely adored. 

This man wasn’t some young, bumbling fool. He was mature, devoted, and you loved every single inch of him. And he had never been touched like this before. 

Sure, he’d had sex – as you found out one slightly drunken night when you were asking each other questions – but you knew that it was just… a release. No touching, no armour off, maybe not even his gloves. 

Who knows how long it had been since this man had been touched like this on his bare skin, with love and passion? You could easily guess it was the same amount of time as you – longer. 

And… you were the first person. 

The first person to feel him. 

To lay your hands upon his skin and show him how truly magnificent he was. 

Spurred by his gasps of pleasure and surprise, you roamed lower, over the happy trail and began palming him through his trousers and pressing your hand into the hard length of him.

Then, quickly, you slipped your hand inside his trousers, feeling the tickle of short, coarse hair and then you gently grasped him, fingers wrapping around his thick, swollen length.  

He moaned roughly against your lips, sucking in a sharp breath and you pumped him a couple times and his hips jerked forward against your touch. 

Your mouth watered at the feel of him, and you pressed your thighs together at the thought of him filling you, being buried inside you and coming undone…

You had never been more grateful for stopping in a town a few years ago and shelling out the obscene number of credits for getting a contraceptive implant in your arm. 

It was something you didn’t really need to bother with worrying about, but sometimes, the lonely nights got to you – and you didn’t want to have to worry. 

And now, you could almost get on your knees and thank the Maker for that stroke of luck, because now you would be able to feel him inside you, every ridge, every vein, every inch of him. 

Din only moaned louder as you brushed your thumb over his head, catching the drop or precum there and he rapidly pulled away. 

You had no time to worry if you’d stepped over a line, because you heard him working at his belt, the sound of metal catching like it wouldn’t release. 

Din swore under his breath and you realised the fumbling was due to his fingers trembling, in anticipation and the result of what was about to happen. 

Heart melting, you sat up, reaching out blindly and finding the belt yourself, “Let me…” 

You managed to undo his belt, even with your eyes covered and pop the buttons on his waistband, all the while feeling Din’s belly rise and fall unevenly as he watched you. 

It felt like hours, but maybe it was only seconds as you heard Din rid the rest of his clothes and climb back over you, one hand next to your head. His breathing was a staccato rhythm and matched your own as your entire body held tight and coiled like a live wire. 

He lined himself up at your entrance, nudging the head of his cock against you and he swore again under his breath as he felt how wet you were for him again, soaked and swollen. “Shit… You... you really want me…” His voice was full of wonder and surprise. 

He still couldn’t get over it, that he had this effect on someone. That he made you half mad with need for him and he could make someone, make you feel that way. 

You wanted him, wanted whatever he could give you and you were happy with it. Lying there, teeth sunk into your lower lip, cheeks flushed and your body open and yielding to welcome him home. 

It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. 

“Din…” Your whisper broke him from his reverie, and then he was pushing into you, his hand curling into a fist in the sheets next to his head as if to hold himself back from going any quicker. 

He was thick, and you felt every inch as he slowly sunk into you. 

You both moaned in unison as he bottomed out, and he paused for a second so you could adjust to him, a slight sharp sting there but it felt absolutely delightful. 

You would feel this tomorrow, feel that you had finally been joined as one, finally broken down those walls. 

A few seconds later, sheer delight coursed through you and you slipped your hand up to his wrist, curling your fingers around it, “Move... Maker, please, move-”

Din pulled out slowly, before jolting back into you with a force that felt like your very spine would dissolve into nothingness. He felt so good, so perfect inside you and if you had any doubt that soulmates existed, it was gone now. It was like you were made for each other, slotting into one another souls and lives perfectly. 

He started a slow, building rhythm, dropping his head into your neck to suck at the skin, rocking his hips into yours, “You have no idea how good you feel, sweetheart.” His words were a tight whisper into your neck, and you could feel the tense, rigid line of the muscles in his wrists from his clenched fist. He was still holding back, still afraid to hurt you or push you too far. 

You tilted your head into his hair, your words clear, if not a little high with need, “Let go. Din, stop holding back – please, you won’t hurt me. You won’t scare me.” Fuck, you needed this just as much as he did. You didn’t want slow and gentle. You didn’t want to keep dancing around each other. It had been too long, and you had wasted far too much time trying to hold back in front of the other. 

He was still hesitating, still unsure so you took initiative, hooking one of your legs around his waist and pressing the heel of your foot into his lower back to further emphasise your point. The angle opened you deeper, made him sink a little further in so you clenched around him, tight. 

Din choked a little into your neck, his resolve breaking and then he lifted his head, grabbing your knee for grip and then he really began to move. 

He snapped his hips faster, every few thrusts slowing down to push all the way into you, to hit that spot he was so acquainted with until you shouted his name, a prayer and a plea in one. “Fuck, sweetheart – you look… so beautiful, so fucking beautiful-” He moaned the words, watching you arch under him, your hips moving in tandem to match his pace thrust for thrust. 

He dropped his head back to your chest, kissing and sucking at your breasts and nipples, adding new sparks of pleasure along with the deep fire of him pounding in you. 

It wasn’t rough, not at all but it was raw, intense, your bodies syncing and moving with each other in a new dance, saying everything that needed to make up for the past few months. 

Time ticked past as you climbed higher and higher together, your moans echoing with Din’s jagged praise, your nails scratching lines down his back as he pushed up even deeper inside you, hitting places you didn’t even know you had. 

You lost sense of where you ended and Din began and you felt the threads of your lives tighten around each other, saw the golden threads strengthen with each rock of your bodies, further and further as you both flew up and up, exploding into light and stardust. 

Both of you fell apart at the same time, your walls clenching tight around him as he exploded into you, filling you with heat as his hips jerked and stuttered. You both rode each other’s orgasms out, drawing them on and on until you were both utterly spent. 

Din pressed open kisses to your neck, his rough growl still echoing in your ear as he mumbled sweet nothings against your sticky skin, his body weight heavy and welcoming into yours, “You are so beautiful. So, so beautiful.” Again, and again, he whispered these endearing things, until he eased out of you, leaving behind an incredible sense of loss. 

You lay there blissfully, catching your breath, feeling a delicious ache in your bones that had replaced the dull pain from the week’s ordeals – and drowning. 

How surprising such a day ended like this. 

Though you didn’t doubt you would be hearing about it later. 

Din returned, flicking what sounded like a switch on the way back in. 

You heard him kneel next to the bed, and then a warm damp cloth glide over your thighs as he cleaned you both up, before slotting himself against you in the thin bed, facing you this time. 

You eased onto your side, curling up against the wall and his body, a sated smile on your lips, “I… That was…” You shook your head a little, unable to stop the huge grin on your lips. 

Din laughed softly, a quiet, rough laugh that caressed over your body and settled up in your heart. “Amazing? I never knew you were such a cliché.” He tapped your nose playfully, and you could hear the grin on his lips. 

You couldn’t help the slight ache to your heart, the longing of wanting to be able to see how beautiful that grin was, see it light up his face and spark in his eyes. But you would never ask, never even let the thought of asking pop into your head. You appreciated every single thing he gave you, and you were more than content with whatever he was willing to offer. 

So, you shoved that thought away, and instead lifted your fingertips to his face. 

“Uh, sweetheart, you’re about to poke my eye.” 

Indeed, you felt the soft brush of his eyelashes on your fingertips like moths’ wings, and you mumbled a sorry before tracing the line of his eyebrows, up his temples and across the slight wrinkles on his forehead. “I told you to stop frowning.” 

Din huffed softly at your teasing, his warm breath tickling your wrist. 

You followed a path down his nose, feeling the gentle bump to it that added a new little unique feature to the blurry map in your mind. On your fingers went, over the hair lining his upper lip that you could still feel the ghost of between your thighs. “I like this…” You couldn’t stop the slight cheeky smile, your toes curling a little. 

He chuckled again, his lilt to his voice letting you know that his smile had turned wicked, “Oh, I know. I tasted how much you liked it.” A warm lick of heat tickled in your lower back at his voice, and you shook your head adoringly. 

Next up, his lips. Those soft, plump lips that should be made sinful. You ran the pads of your fingertips over them, then yelped softly as Din suddenly bit them, lightly and playfully. “Hey!” 

“Sorry, sweetheart.” He didn’t sound sorry though, he still sounded like he was smiling, and you realised it was... the happiest you’d ever heard him. 

You were about to say as much, when you heard him move and then suddenly, the blindfold was tugged off your head, disorientating you with the unexpectedness of it.

You gasped, squeezing your eyes shut rapidly, “Din! You haven’t-“

“Relax, cyar'ika. Open your eyes…” 

“But-”

“Open them, princess… Trust me.”

Hesitantly, you opened your eyes the faintest slit, and you were met with… Darkness?

Opening them further, you realised why. 

Din had turned the lights off on his way back in from getting the cloth. That’s what that sound was. 

The entire room was swathed in darkness, only the faint glow of the control panel over his shoulder. It provided the barest silhouette of light, allowing you to see the slight outline of those ridiculous shoulders, and just about the edge of his ear. 

“I couldn’t stand the thought of you keeping that blindfold on… I… I know this isn’t… me… but… That way… You’re not kept out entirely. I could never keep you out...” His voice was a little rough, and you could feel the rapid beat of his heart. This was the barest he’d ever been before you, the most exposed. 

The amount of trust he was bestowing in you was almost heady. All it would take is one tiny malfunction in the ship, for the lights to come back on and then you’d see him. 

You swallowed, your own heart pounding and you gazed in the general direction of his face, seeing him but... seeing none of his features at the same time. But still, to know he was right there, to feel his breath on your skin and see the tinies outline of him… it shattered you nearly.

“Thank you… I… Thank you. This… all of this... I can never thank you enough, Din. For everything you’ve ever done for me. For throwing away the bounty puck, for keeping me safe, for rescuing me… You’ve kept me alive far more than you know. You saw something in me and chose not to give up. And that’s more than a lot of people have every done for me, ever. When I’m with you… I feel safe. To be myself and… I feel like I could conquer anything, as long as you were there.” 

You felt his hand snake to your waist, tracing slow, soothing circles on your skin. 

“There’s so much I have to thank you for, so, so much I want to say to you. I’m… not always good with words… And it’ll take me time to… to open up fully but…” You shook your head slightly, all of the words tumbling over in your head, and you didn’t know where to start or if you would ever end. So, you settled for the four words that would be just enough for now. “I love you, Din.” Tears sprung to your eyes as you finally said those sweet words aloud, “I’ve loved you since I saw you in that alleyway, pretending you didn’t know me to keep me safe.”

Din’s breathing stuttered, catching over itself as he caught his breath. You felt him shudder a little as you mumbled the words, he had so longed to hear. He leant in, pressing his lips to yours in a slow, tender kiss that was so blissfully warm, so loving that it almost hurt. “You don’t ever need to explain yourself to me or feel like you need to tell me things. We’ll… we’ll work on it together, okay?” 

Work on revealing yourselves to each other, bit by bit. 

You smiled, breathlessly and teary against his lips, “Okay…” 

~

It might have been hours later, but you were wrapped up in Din’s arms, your legs tangled, his arm over your waist and the other under your head – the bed was still extremely small.

You’d both drifted off to sleep now and then, in between the gentle kissing, the random conversations about Grogu and Duru’s mishaps or whether the best flavour of macarons was blue or pink. 

But you were awake now, something floating around your head that was still there form a few days ago. Din was relaxed in front of you, his breathing even and deep, tickling your skin. 

He had given up so much of himself to you already, even more so tonight allowing you to touch him, to see him in a way. And you loved him with every single fibre of your being, and... knew that he felt the same. 

And… it was time. 

You wanted to. 

You wanted this. 

Despite that, you still had a nervous writhing in your stomach, and it was a good fifteen minutes before you plucked up enough courage to speak, “Din? Are… you awake?”

 His previously still fingers traced up the tattoo on your spine, “Mmm…” His voice was a rough hum, but you knew he was awake. 

No more secrets. Starting now. 

“I… I want to tell you something. About me… My past.” You bit your lip, fiddling with your necklace. 

You heard Din nod against the pillow slightly, “Okay… Anything.” 

Swallowing, you closed your eyes, like it might give you strength. “I want to tell you… why I have a bounty on my head. And why it’s so high.” Your words were a near whisper. 

Din went very still around you, so quiet you might have thought he had gone back to sleep. Just before dread began to curl in your belly, the low rumble of his voice broke the silence. “I… I know what you’re going to tell me. And… I know.

At that, your eyes flew open, shock filtering though you, “What?

Maybe he misunderstood what you meant, or had heard another rumour…

Like always, he could read your mind, what you were thinking even in the darkness. “Sweetheart, I know.”

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