#i mean you all know me atp so i shouldn't have to say this but it's not gonna be anything weirddddd

[chososhairbuns]

would you all still love me if i wrote fop fanfiction at my old ass age

[nativegirltapes]

motel — rafe cameron

summary: reader and rafe being on one of their ‘breaks’ so reader comes and visits rafe at a motel he’s been staying at after being kicked out. but she doesn’t get the comfort from rafe she thought she would.

pairing: toxic!rafe x reader

notes/warnings: purely angst! idk what got in to me while writing this but i think i got too into it …. reader is like super dependent on rafe it’s just sad atp!!!

it was unfortunate but no one was able to comfort you the way your boyfriend did, even after hurting your feelings.

tears fell down your face as you knocked on the door numbered '56', the door of the motel you drove to hundreds of miles away, just to see him.

when the door swung open there he was; greasy hair sticking to his forehead, shirtless, with his grey sweats hanging dangerously low. you ran into him arms like you hadn't seen him years, although that's how it felt.

rafe's hand caressed the back of your head while you embraced your arms around him. your hair was messy but still soft, it was always so soft, it was one of his favorite things about you. you were literally a sobbing disaster in front of him but you're hair was still soft and smelled of strawberries and grapefruit. rafe thought out loud it might sound silly, but it was almost like it was some weird sort of symbolism, that despite everything that rafe had put out through, you were still perfect. you were still his soft, perfect angel.

"i hate you," you choked out. you 'hated' him, but there you were hugging him, all at his disposal.

"i know." rafe replied, resting his head on yours. rafe felt bad, which is exactly why he broke up with you in the first place. although, a normal functioning person wouldn't call what you two had a 'breakup'; coming to visit him at a motel because he was kicked out of his own house didn't exactly scream 'broken up' to anyone.

rafe knew you didn't hate him, maybe it was just that you loved him so much that you lost yourself in the journey.

when you were with him, it seemed like all you had was him, like you didn't know how to live or function without him. and rafe hated that, because that's exactly how he felt for you. there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for you, no boundary he wouldn't cross for you; except for being the one responsible for ruining you.

"you shouldn't be here." rafe groaned, you pulled away from the hug, every ounce of his warmness leaving your body.

"why?" you wiped your tears with rafe's hoodie that you were wearing, it basically swallowed you whole with how big it was.

"it’s not good for you.” rafe’s eyes looked down at you, you didn’t realize how tired and sad he looked too.

“you’re good for me, rafe.” you placed a hand on his chest, but he stepped away.

“i’m not y/n.”

“you can’t tell me what’s good for me rafe.” you followed him as he stepped back. your eyes felt so puffy, like they’d just swell shut if you cried anymore.

“i’m not good for you,” rafe sighed. “i mean do you see your fuckin’ self?” rafe threw his hand towards you. “you’re here cryin’ in a motel you drove hundreds of miles away to get to just because i’m tryin’ to fucking help you.”

“if you want to help me, just love me.” you didn’t have it in you to yell back. your soft but croaky voice played like a record in rafe’s head; reminding him that you’re just his soft, perfect angel. no, he definitely didn’t deserve you, but he didn’t have in it him to just never talk to you again, which just lead you both here; in this moment right now, wondering what went wrong between the two of you. things used to be so good. what happened?

“i’m tryin’ to love you.” rafe rubbed his forehead, he didn’t want to say it, but he knew he had to. “you won’t let me.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, you weren’t letting him? you were standing in front of him, quite literally begging him to love you; and you weren’t ‘letting him’?

you weren’t saying anything so rafe took it as an opportunity, “we just,” he ran his fingers through his hair, kind of pacing around the room now. “we just need to be apart for a while. kay?”

exhausted from crying all the way here and all the crying you just did, all you could do was agree. “okay.” you sighed, a tear falling down your cheek.

this couldn’t be the end of you and rafe, he loved you. right?

[hatsukeii]

boxers / timeskip!miya atsumu x reader

genre(s) - slice of life??? friends with endless romantic/sexual tension between them, mutually oblivious pining up until the end, atsumu being a little BITCH :/, reader is so hot btw im saying it now you guys are so hot, hotter than the little BITCH atsumu (ngl i do fw his ass tho...)

warning(s) - suggestive but not nsfw!! atsumu being FUCKING ANNOYING, tiger balm if you get it you get it, and like crude humour which is just my branding atp sooo

wc: 1039

tldr; if you're going to make atsumu fulfil your fashion dreams, you should at least look good, which shouldn't be a problem if the only person judging is atsumu himself.

author's note 1: a man who yearns is a man who earns ;) and sometimes a girl just wants to write yearning men to escape from finals so

"'Tsumu, how does it look?"

You reveal your completely renewed, upgraded, rejuvenated outfit, with Atsumu's boxers peeking through the top of your jeans loosely. Perfect, down to the minute details. Once again, you had graced Atsumu's apartment in the middle of the night, for some redundant reason. Last time, it was to take his carton of eggs. This time, it was to borrow a pair of his boxers, of all things.

"It looks cool. Are we done now?" It looks better than cool, much more than cool encompasses. His favourite pair of boxers (definitely a coincidence) sits lopsided across your waist, your jeans holding them in place. The tie sits around your neck, trailing down your torso atop the half-buttoned, collared shirt. You look much better than cool. You look hot, and that is a problem. So much of a problem that Atsumu is resisting the urge to run up and press both hands against your waist, even tug at the waistband of his boxers. You know, just to adjust them. Like best friends do.

You shake your head boldly, contemplating whether you should drop the idea. But alas, you've come this far, even managing to secure a pair of his boxers. It's all or nothing for your fashion discovery now. You stare back at Atsumu, eyeing him up and down as your heart pounds and you consider your next words very carefully. A confused look greets his face, the same one he's made ever since he was in high school. The look that he makes at you when you offer to visit him and rub tiger balm into his shoulders in the middle of the night, or agree to go to all his volleyball games every single time, no matter the day.

"Can you kiss the collar?"

And that just about does it for Atsumu's fragile constraint. His face flushes instantaneously, a hand shooting up to rub across his mouth, before travelling behind his neck to massage it. You wait for a response, your clasped hands becoming clammier with every stagnant second that passes. A stick of red lip stain sits in your back pocket, all you need now is his green light. The air of his living room becomes a pool of slick oil, impossibly heavy, suffocating.

"Yeah, sure."

Your mind blanks. He was not supposed to say yes. You wanted him to, yes, that did not mean that he should have. However, it is too late to regret your proposition now, as you pull the lip stain from your back pocket and approach him on the couch. He winces at the colour, and your hand reaches to cradle his face, angling it just enough to apply the red all over his lips.

"So glamorous, Atsumu, you should be thanking me."

"Shut up, annoying," you manage to scarcely make out from his attempt to speak without moving his lips. He means that out of love, considering he used to call you annoying for actually showing up to his house to massage his shoulders after each match, nagging at you to get rest and leave his soreness be. All out of love between best friends, you're sure of it.

You let go, giving him free reign of your shirt. He looks up at you, pointing at the pointed collar, and you nod in approval. Risque, exactly what you intend to emulate. Shaking, he grabs ahold of your shirt, pressing a firm kiss into the fabric. You smell of the perfume he bought you in celebration of MSBY's first win. Oakwood, orange peel, vanilla. Of course, it was just returning your favour of offering to visit him in the middle of the night, and massage tiger balm into his shoulder blades for two hours.

He pulls away, taking a look at the shirt. Judging by your peculiar choices of a tie, boxers, and a half-buttoned shirt, this is far from risque enough for your liking. He tugs at your top again, peppering kisses across the hem, and you swear you are ready to drop dead right then and there. Not that he's never kissed you before, eight years of friendship does lead to his occasional kisses on your cheek at parties when the two of you would end up drunk off shitty mixers, or your affectionate kisses at the top of his head after match losses as he sits against changing room lockers. All a part of being best friends with Atsumu Miya. Yet as he continues his assault on your shirt, hands grabbing at the fabric tightly and hair tickling the skin of your neck, for the briefest of moments, you wish that he would bring the kisses up instead of across. Fleeting thoughts, pay no mind.

He stops, looking up at you. The lipstick is smudged across one side of his cheek now, and it takes everything in you not to grab his face, and kiss it off of him. His eyes flicker from your face, to your collar.

"Is this enough?" More than enough. You grab his face anyways, rubbing your thumb across the right side of his cheek with a click of your tongue. What a pity that your lipstick isn't ending up on you instead.

"You know, you look really good right now." You babble out before you can catch yourself, and Atsumu's eyes return to your face, boring holes into your eyes. You release his face, a knot forming in your throat as you register your sudden confession. Atsumu breathes out a chuckle, glancing and tugging at your collar.

"I did a pretty good job too, it's a shame I want it off."

He returns to your face, colour matching his red boxers, and your maroon tie, and finally fulfils your wishes as he brings his kisses upwards to your mouth. The remaining lipstick smudges around your lips as you hold his face, body positioned between his legs and your knee pressing onto the sofa. His arms fall back to prop his body up on the couch, surrending all control to your will. You pull away from him, and he almost sulks at the separation. God, he looks so fucking pathetic, staring up at you as if you're the subject of his waking dreams. He should definitely keep this going.

"Stay over tonight? Please?" He mumbles, nestling his face into your palm the way a cat does to its owner.

"Yeah...yeah, I'd like that."

author's note 2:

head empty, no thoughts, just mike faist in challengers, kissed collar shirts, and yearning men. Sometimes a girl just needs to listen to some 5sos and write about looking pretty in someone's boxers and lipstick stains :) Last happy fic I'll write for now, we're going back to giant bittersweet fics next time, might need to try some other characters from diff animes though...

also! this is a total change of style in how i usually write, i wasn't feeling particularly inspired, just wanted to rot and write to kill time, hopefully it's not too bad because it's definitely not my best work imo mmmmm :/

anyways tags!!

@starlysama @chuuya-brainrot @bailey-reeds @fiannee

ok im gonna go now love u bye bye kids

[mrs-monaghan]

https://www.tumblr.com/not-goldy/735797281675264000/omg-goldy-your-post-where-you-mention-catching-a

Shaz finally, all our questions have been answered🥺 THIS was why jikook limited their public interactions and then suddenly they stopped hiding themselves. The buddy system had to be approved first and they couldn't afford to be suspicious. They've been thinking and planning for a long time

I once had a theory as to why they were laying low. Chalked it up to MS. While it did have something to do with MS, it wasn't for the reasons I thought. It absolutely seems like what Goldy's anon is talking about is what was going on behind the scenes. They were working on getting the buddy system approved. And once that was over and done with, they went back to being loud again...

Can i just say I still can't believe they did this?? While some antis and vermin are in denial that Jikook enlisted together, I too sometimes, simply cannot believe it actually happened. It's so surreal, you know? I mean, I was so close but the idea seemed nuts to me at the time.

These 2 have done alot over the years...and I mean alot. But this, if I didn't believe they were in a rlship before, I definitely would now. They are mad, mad for doing this despite knowing how it looks like. Like, insane.

I've always said satellite Jeon (Jikook) is my number 1 reason for believing in Jikook so I probably shouldn't still be in shock, but alas!

Allow me to just.... can we see that one more time?

Yoooooooo....

I ain't never seen this from a couple before... ngl. There is a need here that needs to be met... fulfilled. So when we really think about it we shouldn't be shocked that they're serving together... 🤔

This last one though 🤭

First of all, JK, why?? 😅 2nd of all, he could have stood ontop of literally anyone else. Heck, V is right there. This mofo has been choosing Jimin for so long idk why we still fighting with other shippers atp. They ain't never gonna c it if they haven't yet.

Anyway, I digressed but umm... yes anon. I completely agree! Jikook is so real. So real!

[wheresmymilliondollarman]

aaron warner x ferrars! reader pt. 3

when omega point falls, you find yourself in need of the supreme commander's son, and discover unresolved feelings along the way.

(taken place during ignite me & hc continuation from part two)

that is literally me in this gif y'all🖤🖤

a/n: hello!! finally back with part 3. i'm sorry for the wait, i wanted to do other requests, but tbh i might focus on this little series so that way it's complete and everyone can read it all together. also idk why i even label it hcs anymore LMAOO like i feel it's progressed to a fic atp, but i'm too stubborn to change my format and titles, so humor me LOL. (maybe i'll turn this into a legit fic when i finish, who knows) pls do not kill me for not including every detail, i tried to highlight the best parts as much as i could. also might seem all sunshine rainbows rn with relationships, but just wait for the next book… 🤞 extra info: kinda change adam's character cus i feel like he was an extra ass at times for no reason in the book?? like trying to kill kenji for no reason?? small redemption arc. kinda slight change to juliette. also, i love making reader, juliette, and kenji a lil trio.

word count: 10.7k (im insane)

warnings: mentions of fights, blood, injuries, and death. use of military time (reader so me fr bc it took me so long to understand that shit), suggestive and matureish content.

the first thing on your mind, when you woke up, is that you had to be dead. if you opened your eyes, you would see the golden gates of heaven or the fiery pit of hell. based on how you lived your short life: you were thinking hell.

you realized you were alive and mostly well from the horrible aching from your body, the bandages wrapped around your chest, and the fact your current surrounding was a bedroom.

"hey, amor, take it easy." a voice said as you attempted to sit up.

by your side was aaron warner, sitting down on a stool next to the bed you laid on. he, uncharacteristically, looked disheveled, his clothes messy, and his eyes anxious.

your panic arose as you remembered events - fighting against the reestablishment, then getting caught, and then being shot in the chest by anderson. and then you recognized the room; it was aaron's bedroom - back at the base.

aaron notices your alarm and grabs your hands to calm you down. "it's alright you're safe here, i'm not gonna hurt you."

it may have been an idiotic move, but you believed his words.

"why are we here?"

"i had no choice. everyone believes your dead, and the base is the best place to keep you hidden."

"i don't understand...i'm not a medic by any means, but shouldn't i be dead?"

"you have sara and sonya to thank for that. they were able to save your heart from stopping before being dragged away by my father. then, i was able to take their energy as my own and heal the rest of you."

you were thankful for his aid in your life being saved, but you were too focused on many other worries to properly thank him. like the state of your friends.

you try your hand at getting up, trying to ignore the dizziness that comes with it. aaron holds you steady to stop you from falling.

aaron protests, "you need to res-" but you interrupt, "i need to go. i-i have to find everyone and help them."

"you can't."

you stop your movement and turn to aaron, "what do you mean? i know i'm in horrible shape, but i have to see juliette and everyone else could be in troubl-"

"it's over."

your face scrunches up in confusion, "what?"

aaron's silent for a few movements; you can't breathe. he looks down, his grip on you tightening, "they're dead. all of them."

you look at him in horror, your mouth open, but no words are released. your knees give out, and Aaron carries your full weight in his arms.

he slowly brings you both down to the ground next to the bed, still holding onto you. "i'm sorry, please believe me when i say that. if there was a way to spare you of this pain i would do it in a heartbeat."

you feel like a shell of yourself, you have no reaction, just an emotionless look on your face.

"what happened?" you say in a monotone voice.

"amor, i think you need to lay down or shower, then eat some-"

"what happened," you repeat with a harsher voice.

"they... overtook your friends, some were taken to be tortured, but most were.. shot dead."

"and omega point?"

"....destroyed. they got the coordinates and bombed the entire foundation."

you feel disconnected from reality; nothing feels real. everything is numb; you can't find it in yourself to let out any sort of emotion.

"so juliette, kenji, adam, james..."

aaron didn't need to answer for you to know. they're gone.

the first thing you did was laugh like a lunatic, aaron likely looked at you like you were mad. then finally, the tears came.

you yelled at aaron to get out, even though it was his room. in hysteria, you started levitating things and throwing them at him until he exited the room.

you don't know how long you spent sobbing on the floor next to the bed. you weren't even sure if you were going to stop.

your voice was sore from the number of times you wailed apologies to juliette for being a bad sister and for not being there to protect your friends.

when the tears finished, you reached denial. you knew your friends - there was no way they were dead. juliette was stronger than you, physically and sometimes mentally, so if you could survive a bullet to the chest, your sister could be alive.

when aaron comes back hours later to check on you, he didn't expect to see you walking around in new attire, packing clothes and items into a bag.

"what are you doing?"

"i have to go back."

aaron was taken aback by your statement, but you claimed there was a possibility there were people who survived. he countered saying he'd seen the damage and it wasn't likely. you didn't listen to him and continued preparing.

"this is unhealthy and possibly delusional thinking."

"well, then put me back in the asylum if i'm wrong. i'm going if you let me or not."

he sighs, and then gives in, not before insisting he comes along with you. now you were the one taken aback. was he actually offering to help you?

"why do you seem surprised? it's not as if i haven't made my care for you quite clear."

"no offense, but you're the most confusing man ever. i want to trust you, i've seen your good-natured side. you even claim to.. love me. but you work for the reestablishment, but then claim to be on my side. don't forget the fact you tried to turn juliette and i into weapons for the reestablishment, held us, hostage, at your base, and put us into a torture chamber. not exactly behavior that screams i want to help you."

at this he laughs then laughs harder and you get annoyed, not knowing what was funny. you were ready to kick him out again until he finally stooped.

"i suppose i owe you a long overdue explanation."

nothing prepared you for his next words. aaron began to retell the events from his perspective. starting with his true intentions of bringing you and juliette from the asylum - to study the both of you.

aaron explained his mother's condition, being unable to be touched - a reverse juliette basically. he sought out her at first, then discovered your existence and became intrigued more.

he invented the guise of using you both for weapons as a way for his father to agree to invest in you both.

as anderson mentioned before, juliette was of special interest because of her ability, and yours wasn't as impressive to him at the time. aaron had to convince the commander that your mind reading ability would be great for spy purposes.

once he brought the two of you to the base, he was ready to face 2 vicious and demented sisters, but it was literally the opposite of that. instead he got stuck with two stubborn and immature, you were offended at that, teenage girls.

"juliette was more of the hard-headed one, you mostly just followed along, i figured that out after the dinner and dress stunt. however, i can't say feeding you myself wasn't pleasurable for myself."

aaron saw your fear of your own ability and had intentions to help you and juliette, in his own way.

his tried various ways to unlock your potential - with juliette he tried anger and bullying and with you he knew you couldn't suppress hearing thoughts, so he figured spending time with you was the best option. but he came to understand how much he loved being around you.

"i was so addicted to being around you, i got sidetracked. but then my worry grew when you both showed no progress on enhancing your ability, so as a last resort, i arranged an experiment."

to your surprise, he revealed it was actually a simulation which was a major relief to you that no one was actually harmed by your powers, well, no one besides warner. but he partly deserved it for putting you through that.

although you were mad he implanted that fear into you, you had to admit. it did work.

"so, instead of finding some way to inform me earlier of all this, you make my sister and i think of you as some supervillain who wanted control of our autonomy." you grab the nearest pillow and launch it at him. "you're an idiot! we were scared out of our minds! juliette and i's last conversation was a fight over that! do you know much much time you could- are you seriously smiling?"

"god, i love it when you yell at me."

now that the ait was clear, you were able to put more of your faith into aaron and his intentions. and not feel bad about kissing him.

the two of you worked together on a plan to get you back to what was left of omega point.

you met an older gentleman by the name of delalieu. he was very sweet, but it got a little vexing every time he jumped to warner's defense whenever you made a remark; even ones said in levity. 

a few days later, when aaron deemed it safer, you both set off to leave. although you had the misfortune of having to be stuffed into a cart to avoid being spotted. at least it was better than the body bag you were transported in the first time.

the two of you transported to what was left of omega point in a tank. aaron notably was able to drive to the location with ease. you grew suspicious because one - he told his father he didn't know how to get there and two - he was unconscious the whole time you, juliette, kenji, and adam drove there. you decide to question him on the matter.

"i wasn't completely unconscious on the trip there. i was very conscious when you were touching my hair and tracing my features."

"i knew it! you little faker, you intentionally pushed yourself onto me didn't you!"

when you both arrived, the scene was as horrible as you imagined. - rubbles and dust everywhere and a huge gaping hole miles down. you felt sick thinking about everyone who stayed behind, including james. god, you hoped at least your friends were alright.

you were suddenly tackled to the ground by warner, and the sound of a gunshot followed after. a voice yelled out, and you immediately recognized it - kenji.

you got up instantly and ran to him, attacking him with a gigantic hug, tears brimming at your eyes.

"oh my god, i thought you were dead!"

"i thought you were dead!"

"you almost killed me right now when you shot at us like a lunatic!"

"sorry, i was aiming for warner- where'd he go?"

you change subject, "juliette? is she alright?"

kenji confirms she is alive, and you felt like you could breathe again. you needed to see her as soon as possible.

kenji started looking for warner like a madman, and you, too, were curious about his whereabouts - until he startled you by "showing" up behind you. he had turned himself invisible.

he was ready to take you both back before kenji shot him, but you declined to say you had to see juliette and anyone else that survived. aaron was reluctant but then handed you a pager, not that you knew what it was, and gave you a limit of four hours. you thought it to be ridiculous, but you compromised to ease his worries.

you and kenji ventured back to adam's house, your first time being there since you were unable to the first time around. he, heart-achingly, filled you in on the events, how they searched for you, how many were lost, and who remained. you told your side of the action, including everything with aaron.

kenji did have some judgemental comments, but you understood he was reeling from the shock of everything, especially from the details regarding aaron.

you bite your tongue when kenjii speaks ill of warner. defending him would only make you look naive, plus you couldn't deny the others had their reasoning for disliking the guy. you would end up sounding like delalieu.

"so what, you like the guy now? god, don't tell me your gullible enough to fall for it just because he's the first guy to show interest in you."

his words cut deep into you, but you don't respond and change the subject back to getting to the house. you didn't want to argue after being so happy kenji is alive. but damn did you want to give him a shove with your powers.

your spirits lifted as soon as you reached the destination. you pull kenji to the front door and urge him to open it. he knocks and confirms his identity before it's opened by winston, who was shocked to see you.

you greeted him quickly, feeling bad, but your main focus was your sister. next you see alia, castle, brendan, lily and alia. (all frozen to their spots as soon as they noticed you). when you see james you give him a tight hug, thankful for his well-being.

adam and juliette walked out of the kitchen engaged in conversation, not noticing you at first. then kenji drew their attention with a cough.

both of you were paralyzed at first; you were the first to break and jump at her with tears and an overbearing hug. she was quick to return it, then the both of you started crying in relief to see each other after thinking the other was dead.

"i'm so sorry for how we ended things, you had a right to be upset and i was a bad sister for not taking your feelings into account. "

"no, i'm the one who overreacted. i should've came with you the moment you told me you felt something was wrong."

"okay we get it elsa and anna; you're both very happy to see each other. please, no more tears."

you both pulled away, laughing softly at your dramatics. you turned and gave adam a much quicker hug, him happy to see you breathing.

with greeting out of the way, everyone's attention was turned back to you, particularly how you survived. you took a deep breath, and retold everything you told kenji, leaving out intimate details about aaron and you. everyone reacted similarly to the way kenji had.

the room then filled with different questions and thoughts, all voices one another, reminding you of listening to different people's thoughts at the same time. they all started assuming the worst in warner, and this time you did defend him - but it only made you look guilty.

the subject turned over to what was the next plan of action. castle was out of it, so he provided no help. adam was the first to protest any sort of fight, his concern for james overshadowing. juliette was on the fence about it for adam's sake, but you knew she wanted to fight against the reestablishment like everyone else, if not more. especially after all they had put the two of you through.

the conversation barely got past arguments before the front door was suddenly brought down. everyone, besides you, held up weapons to attack the intruder - you held up your hands, ready to use your power if necessary. but then you recognized the intruder quickly - aaron.

you ran over in front of him and advised everyone to stand down, but they didn't listen, they were too focused on the fact aaron had arrived.

you readied yourself to lower their weapons yourself, but then aaron made a move of his own and flung all the guns across the room with levitation.

"i was gonna do that.." you mumbled quietly to yourself.

"apologies, amor, i'll let you get them next time."

everyone else was stunned, you explained aaron's gift, but it was still a shock to see. a few banters are exchanged, but aaron, uncaring as ever, ignores them and proceeds to grab your arm so the two of you can leave. however, you stop him, not wanting to leave on bad terms.

you informed everyone that aaron was on your side, and they were understandably doubtful to believe it, but as they noticed how he acted with you, it became more believable.

you took the chance to try to persuade everyone to stand up again against the rebellion. juliette and kenji were the first to side with you, and slowly everyone followed along, adam and ian being the ones more reluctant. you could respect adam for thinking of james and juliette, and ian was just an asshole, but he was also mourning. in a turn of events, castle chimed in with his support.

aaron, not thrilled about the new members of your alliance, announced the two of you would be leaving. juliette protested, not wanting to be away from you after she just got you back.

part of you longed to lay on the comfortable bed back at the base, but you needed to stay with your team. so, you made an agreement aaron could return for you the next day.

"so i'll come back for you tomorrow? thirteen hundred hours."

"thirteen hundred hours? like from now?"

"it means one o'clock."

"... one o'clock is not thirteen hundred hours from now."

aaron was holding back a laugh, juliette was just as confused, and kenji physically facepalmed.

aaron eventually left after you reassured him you'd be fine. ian was of no help as he kept insulating it was better if you left. adam stormed off not long after, juliette following to calm him. she returned looking dejected and assumed she and adam fought. kenji suggested the three of you go out for a walk, although it was late.

during the night stroll, all three of you got emotions off your chest. kenji's feelings about the whole situation, juliette's issues with adam (they were still technically broken up) , and your turmoil with warner. kenji was somewhat holding back, but you knew he was just trying to hold up a strong facade.

as you disclosed your confusion and feelings, kenji had many questions, from disbelief, and juliette mainly just patiently listened and remained silent.

"so you like the guy, for what his personality? totally has nothing to do with his looks?

"hey, i'm not shallow! ...aaron just happens to be gifted with excellent looks."

"hearing you call him aaron is so weird. and i'm not judging you if you did. seeing adam shirtless is probably what drew juliette to him at the start."

"hey!"

the light banter made the solemn conversation easier to talk through. it was nice to be always from everything for a bit, and just act like friends.

you three returned back, kenji walked to the door first, and juliette grabbed your wrist to stop you from following him.

"i just want to talk to you alone real quick. about warner,.. or aaron, whatever you call him."

you held your breath, partly ready for her to possibly start another argument.

"i know you're confused about what you feel for him still, but i need you to know if you decide you love him - i'll support you. i don't want it to get in the way our bond. after everything that's happened... i realized there no time to waste on petty little things, especially about guys. all that should matter is we're always here for each other."

you give each other another heartfelt and tearful hug; glad kenji wasn't there to comment on how sappy and emotional it is.

"so, just between us sisters, do you think you love him?"

you laugh, and open the truth of your heart of her.

back inside, you all prepared for him or, as aaron called it a "slumber party." wasn't too far off since everyone besides james, adam, and castle slept on the ground.

your place was between kenji and juliette, each of you having your own pillow and blanket. winston and brendan bantered a bit about kicking faces before the turns finally went out.

"kenji, i know it will be incredibly hard, but keep your hands to yourself."

"you wish. you should be telling your sister that, she's basically all over me every night."

"shut up."

the next day brought a lot of drama. the day started off late, leaving little time to discuss before aaron arrived. another fight between adam and juliette set off. the issue being that aaron was coming back, which adam was completely against. he had been fine with your stay, but he wouldn't compromise for letting him return. adam gave an ultimatum, if you brought warner he would essentially kick you out.

juliette went to your defense and partly aaron's for your benefit. this only set off adam more. kenji tried his hand at intervening but only got backlash from adam, who stormed off outside after. everyone else stayed quiet, but you could tell one or two silently agreed with adam.

you didn't wanna stir any more trouble than needed, so you started preparing yourself to go, clicking the little mechanism aaron gave you a couple times to ensure it worked.

brendan, winston, castle, lily insisted you stay as well. james also gave a small plead for you to remain. juliette believed she could still talk some sense into adam.

it felt great to have their support, but at the same time, you felt bad for having to divide everyone into teams, yours or adam's. instead of building a team, you were tearing one apart.

before you knew it, the newly fixed door was again slammed open by the same intruder from the day before. aaron barged in, almost of breath and distressed. you thought something happened to him because of how disarranged he looked.

he locked his gaze on you and speedily grabbed you in his arms, cupping your face and scanning you up and down for any injuries. you were a bit embarrassed as everyone was a witness to aaron fussing over your well-being.

"did you run here?"

"of course, you beeped the pager."

you assured him you were alright and turned back to everyone with faces of incredulity.

"woah, this is... freaky." winston began.

"i worked for this guy for more than a year and never even saw him smile."

you explained to aaron that you couldn't stay at the house any longer but couldn't leave everyone else either. he offers to have them stay in the training area, but kenji declines, needing a better offer. juliette sides with kenji, the rest don't fully trust warner, so they need reassurance.

you couldn't bare the thought of leaving everyone again, so you pleaded to aaron to give in to their demands, willing to compromise whatever. you were happy and a little shocked, along with everyone else, when he accepted the terms.

"i'll return tomorrow at fourteen hundred ho-" he sees your confused face again, "2 o'clock. i really must educate you on military time, amor"

"or you could just say the time on a clock like the average person."

aaron takes your hand and guides you back to the tank to make your way back to the base before anyone notes his disappearance.

you express your gratitude for his help, and he responds by saying there's not need, he would do whatever to ease your pain. he also partly owed it to you for being so dismissive when you believed your friends were alive.

"i know they all judge you right now, and maybe they always will. but, i do believe you're a good person, and sure, you have flaws, but who doesn't - i am certainly no saint. i don't want to fix you...just want to make you see yourself in a better light like i do." your final words before falling into a slumber against the window.

you return back to the base the way you came in with delalieu's help. your both back in aaron's room, not having said a word to each other since the tank. aaron's started to ask questions about what had happened back at adam's house. you briefly told him about the drama about adam not wanting you there if you were with warner.

aaron became upset, not liking how adam treated you, and reassured you he would harm him if you wanted him to. you quickly assure him that you didn't care about it, you weren't going to beg to stay where you weren't wanted. you were mostly concerned about what it had done to whatever relationship was left between juliette and adam. she obviously loved him, but she couldn't hold herself back for him either.

you go silent at the mention of juliette, remembering your last private conversation. aaron, being able to easily feel your emotions, pick up and it and presses for information.

"it's just.. she asked me if i loved you."

aaron's breath hitches, "what was your response."

"i told her, 'love is a strong word. i'm not even sure i fully understand it. but i think...no i know. i'm falling for him.' "

aaron didn't respond, he got up and went to his office, shutting the door behind him. you weren't sure what it meant. and you didn't see him for the rest of the day.

you couldn't sleep that night; your mind was doing circles in anticipation of the group's arrival tomorrow.

you got up with the intention of solely getting a glass of water, but then heard a loud noise come from the direction aaron's office.

wanting to make sure he was okay, you walked in without notice. the door was already halfway open, so you figured it was alright.

the room was bigger than your childhood home's living room; it was filled with different seats of furniture, books, shelf, etc. aaron was at his large desk - his shirt discarded and only wearing slacks and socks.

aaron's brushes you off, telling you to go to bed, but your focus is on a small jar in his hands. you ask what it is, but he avoids answering, so you grab the object yourself. he attempts to get it from you, but you move away - deja vu to when aaron wouldn't return your journal to you. it felt nice to be on the flip side of it for once.

you read the label and understood it was a medicine. then it clicked; it was for his scars. and he was embarrassed about it. it was kind of cute.

he confirms it's for his back, so you nicely offer to do it for him since he seemed to have trouble reaching it. he was obviously self-conscious no matter how much he denied it, and you told him it didn't matter; you'd already seen them. but he kept turning his back away from you. you were getting suspicious that the scars were only part of the reason he was hiding.

you got annoyed and impulsively used your power to keep him sat and finally make his back face you. you could apologize later.

then you saw it. yes, his scars were still there, but on top of that were your wonky star doodles. the ones you drew in his cells two weeks ago in his cell at omega point.

you were confused about how they were still there, darker than you remember. the pen you used was lousy; you would know since you used it to write and the ink always smudged. the pen ink was also blue, and this was black. the skin around it was also freshly red.

"wait.. is this tattooed?"

his silence confirmed it. you were speechless. he tattooed your silly little doodles. he needed the medicine to numb the pain of the ink.

"why would you do this?"

"figured it your mark was better than the ones my dad left me."

"aaron."

"it was the first time i looked at my back and smiled."

you think your heart burst on the spot.

"god, i would've made them better if i knew you were gonna mark it."

"they're perfect." god, you were ready to melt.

you compose yourself and insist you put on the medicine since it was your tattoo design that's causing him slight pain. he didn't protest this time. you applied it in silence, then worked up the courage to ask about his scars.

aaron was very hesitant, you were ready to be shut down, but then he opened up to you. his scars being a 'birthday gift' from his father. it was heartbreaking to hear and almost brought tears to your eyes, but you knew pity was the last thing he wanted.

"when you saw them back in my cell, i waited to see that look of repulse on your face, but it never came. you observed them so carefully like they were the most interesting thing to you. then you had the gall to say it was similar to abstract art."

"well, it's true. they're not ugly, and you're certainly not repulsive. the scars are like a show of strength for everything you've been through. they're yours; only you decide what they represent. anyone who thinks differently is a total loser."

"please, stop."

"i'm sorry, did i say something wr-"

"i love you. so much that the first thing i did when returning here after escaping omega point was getting delalieu to tattoo my skin because your marks faded. i didn't even let myself wash off in fear they'd disappear before i got a chance to preserve them. i couldn't wipe the smile off my face whenever i looked at it through a mirror. it always reminded me of you. our moments. our last kiss. i burn for you greatly, and you don't even realize it."

"aaron..."

"don't."

"you know how i feel. but i'm still figuring it out, this is all new to me, and i want to get to know you better-"

"please. just go." and you did.

the following day, right on schedule, aaron goes to pick up the group while you stay behind waiting in the training facility that he briefly gave you a tour of.

the group arrived, and you happily greeted them as they looked around the place in awe. aaron began to go over rules and boundaries for the group. after the previous night, you were unsure about where you stood with warner, so you decided to give him some space and stand with the rest of the group. as he spoke, he threw not-so subtle glances your way, making you confused about whether he was upset with you or not.

aaron ventured off, everyone was setting up their items, and you separated with kenji and juliette. they book had look more distressed upon their arrival. apparently, juliette took one last chance to try and convince adam to come along, he didn't budge, saying he had to protect james and encouraged juliette to stay as well. it resulted in an argument; eventually, he respected her decision to fight - but it would mean the end for them. you comforted your sister through her heartbreak, adam had been a big part of her life, even a bit of yours. so to say goodbye must've been hard for her.

kenji also tried to persuade adam, but it escalated, and the two started throwing harsh words at each other. you knew adam was his friends, whether they both acknowledged it or not, and after omega point, you were sure kenji didn't want to lose anyone else. leaving james behind made it worse.

the direction of conversation then turned to you, and you were originally going to deny any conflict, but kenji and juliette picked up on the tension between you and aaron.

juliette starts, "so, what happened with warner?"

"don't know what you mean."

kenji and juliette give each other a mutual glance, " we aren't blind; the guy kept looking at you as if you'd killed his puppy. like seriously, there could've been a rain cloud over him with how much he was sulking."

you opened up to the happenings of last night, leaving out too personal information about warner, and how you weren't sure what to do now. kenji lost his mind at the bit about the tattoo, this new side of warner still weirding him out.

"i thought you were into him?"

"i mean, i am. it's just all so confusing. i'm not trying to string him along, i just want to truly know him before i could want more with him. it feels like he knows every single thing about me, while i'm barely starting to paint a picture. or maybe he only thinks he loves me or he's only interested in me because of my gift."

"dude, everything he has done for us so far is all because of you. what kind of guy tattoo's a stupid drawing someone drew on their back? and i swear he gets cartoon heart eyes when he looks at you too long. i know i called you naive for believing it, but that was before i saw first hand how intimate his feelings are for you."

"he's right, y/n. think about if he only cared about your gift, he would've been treating us the same, after all, he brought both of us in. sure, he acts decent towards me, but i'm pretty sure it has more to do with the fact we're sisters. you don't play nice with someone's family unless you really like them."

you were silent as you absorbed both their perspectives.

kenji sighs, "damn, i need a love life."

"interested in someone else."

"technically single, but i'd choose the asylum over you."

"i'm starting to miss when you both were meek and quiet."

after that friendly therapy session, you regained your focus on the important task, formulating a plan to overtake anderson. you had a few ideas, some you talked about with aaron, but a seventeen-year-old girl can only do so much on her own, so that's why you bring in your sister, who is also seventeen. as the two of you went through essentially the same trauma, she had as much right to be a big part of this as you.

aaron came back hours later, and everyone gathered around and took a seat somewhere. to your surprise, aaron sat down right the to you. the tension is so much worse side by side. knowing aaron could read what you felt didn't make it better.

you began to illustrate the details of the plan, juliette helping fill in and explain points. the goal is to get anderson to sector 45; to do that, you had to take over sector 45. getting people and soldiers to rebel was going to be the trickiest part, and much of the group wasn't on board that it could work.

"we're going to have to show them our strengths, i'll help them see our strength." you explain.

"and if they shoot us?" ian counters..

juliette shrugs, "then don't do it, i'm sure my sister and i are capable of being amazing by ourselves."

"real humble , j."

brendan speaks up, "so, we've got somewhat of a synopsis of juliette's gift, but, no offense y/n, what is it you can do besides read minds?"

it was true; almost everyone wasn't aware of other capabilities you possessed. you didn't like to divulge your gift much back at omega point, kenji, juliette, and castle knowing the most. unlike juliette, who had many different events where she showed her amazing strength, and you were sure they saw more when she practiced at adam's house while you were separated.

you briefly revealed more about your powers, mind-reading, telekinesis, and your ongoing training in telepathic defense. you admitted to losing control a few times as well. the group looked more amazed as you went on.

"prove it."

"yeah, c'mon dude, show us."

everyone else started egging you on to make a show of your powers; you even saw aaron look interested in wanting to see it. you gave in, and asked aaron for permission to throw some objects around, he nodded.

you started levitating different objects and throwing a few around. kenji started begging for you to lift him, so you did - then winston and brendan kept begging to go next. you showcased a small shield of energy you were able to produce. lastly, they wanted to see your telepathic projection, but you explained it would involve harming one of them, so you shut it down.

"so like, you can do all that too right? since you can steal powers?" winston questions warner.

"yes, if i wanted to i could take hers, or any of your powers and use it."

you cough into your hand, "no one's better than the original, though."

"so the two of you together can basically can..."

"take over the world?"

"...was going to say kick serious ass, but you're not wrong."

warner doesn't respond, but you can see him holding back a smile.

the thought of warner taking powers was eerie to the group, but you reassured them of your faith and trust in aaron. then the conversation redirects to the plan. castle questions of what is supposed to happen if you do win, such as who is going to lead.

"i will." juliette pulls you by the arm next to her, "and y/n will help me."

the room falls silent. even warner is still. your head snaps to your sister, that was not a topic the two of you discussed. nor did you know it was up for discussion. you, of course, didn't express your surprise, you couldn't show doubt when this whole meeting relied on trust. juliette's speech on the new world motivated everyone to follow through with the battle plan, you silently supported it, but in your mind, you didn't think it was the best idea for you both to lead a whole country. you think juliette forgets just how young and inexperienced you both are.

but you were sure this was a problem that could be mended later, right?

aaron and you were alone in his room again, the silence so deafening, you mentally cringed. you attempted to start the conversation on his thoughts about the plan, but he began to brush you off. frustrated, you call him out on his recent behavior.

"why is it all or nothing with you? i didn't reject you- all i said was i want to know you better, i saw you in a bad light for a good while. i want to see the positive just as much."

"or maybe you're just expecting too much from me."

"why are you being so stubborn!"

"because you being disgusted with what you learn, would end me."

he walked out after, a common occurrence, it seemed, these past days.

you vented all your frustrations into training the next day. you told yourself you wouldn't focus on warner, no matter how good he looked in sweatpants, and instead use your pent-up energy to master your powers.

it paid off well; you got closer to creating a shield. but maybe a little too well, since you accidentally launched kenji across the room with your energy force. he got you back off, turning invisible and tripping you. juliette concentrated on moving her dumbbell with the force of will, but she struggled. reminded you a lot of your training at omega point. you offered her tips on what worked for you, and kenji coached.

at some point, you went to the back to drink from your water bottle, unintentionally near where warner was bench pressing. then suddenly you heard someone yell 'get down'. it all happened in a flash, you turned around a bit late, and the rock wall behind you came crumbling down at you. you quickly attempted to lift your hands, levitate most of the impact and braced yourself. suddenly, instead of your body colliding with dozen of sharp rocks, you were surrounded in bubbles. you turned the rumble into fucking bubbles.

you stood mouth wide open in shock for a minute, the people around you just as amazed. aaron was the first to run to you, asking if you were alright, and you nodded, still a bit shocked. he expressed his astoundment at your newfound skill.

juliette then came up to you and profusely apologized, and you assured her you were okay and accidents happen.

"i can't count how many times i almost knocked out castle with things during my training. you'll get the hang of it. plus, i'm sure aaron had trouble learning to control power too."

"oh, no. though i've always been very good at everything i do."

you smack his chest, "you are seriously no help."

you continue to train very hard for the rest of the week, your muscle will likely permanently ache in pain.

you and aaron hadn't gotten much better, you really did try to reach out so many times, but if he wasn't going to cooperate, why waste energy.

he made a habit of intentionally putting his focus on things around the base and working late, so he wouldn't see you until you were already asleep.

if things ended badly between you two, i'd be because of his own stupidity, not for your lack of trying nor the judgment of his character.

other than that, all was well. until kenjii decided to casually drop a bomb that adam and james were coming to the base. juliette started freaking out, and you weren't sure where you and adam stood, but you were excited to see james again.

adam arrived, and tensions between the ex-couple were high. they both were cordial but weren't sure how to act around one another. adam went up and apologized to you for his treatment, and you accepted it because he was once your friend, and you hated grudges. james excitedly greeted you, and you gave him a small tour.

then aaron showed up, ignoring adam, but he and james went back in forth in exchanges. it was very entertaining to watch, and aaron pointed out your enjoyment.

"why do you call her amor?"

"it means love in spanish."

"so, do you love her?"

"why, do you?"

"n-no! she's really pretty- i mean, i like her...no, ugh, she's like a million years older than me!"

"hey! i'm not prehistoric!"

you cut the exchange short, grabbing james on the shoulders and dragging him away, "how about we go back t kenji while i explain to you age numbers..."

you and juliette got upgrades in suits. yours similar to your former, but with minor changes. your color was now a darker red with accents of black, your coat was now high to low with slides for the sides of your legs to show, new knee-high combat coots, and new long fingerless gloves. yours and juliette's new material was made to accommodate your powers.

for training, you watched juliette and kenji go back in forth in combat - kenji mostly won due to technique, but juliette overpowered him a few times.

aaron came up to you, and insisted the two of you train in combat together. you rejected his offer; combat was not your forte, you were repeatedly told by kenji many times. so you just stuck to using your powers. but aaron wouldn't back off.

"it's important to learn combat, amor."

"if i run into a bad guy i'll just fling him away."

"and when you can't use your powers, what happens?"

you were going to argue that wouldn't happen, but knew it wouldn't suffice for him, so you just gave in, so he would shut up.

it was no shocker that he easily blocked your punches and stopped any attack. he even had the audacity to be amused at how badly you were doing.

"wow, you are quite terrible."

"okay, i get it i suck. can i go back to my training?"

"c'mon, amor, don't give up so easily. punch me."

as much as you were annoyed, you didn't want to physically hurt him. aaron laughed when you told him that. that itself, ticked you off. and it did not help that now you had an audience invested in the interaction.

you still didn't relent, aaron was a bit disappointed, but he focused on fixing your form.

you don't know if it was the fact aaron laughed, his constant comments, or all your pent-up frustration, but something came over you. while aaron was distracted with giving walking you through hitting an opponent, you hit him - hard. you might've used some of your powers to make the hit stronger, but he didn't need to know that.

aaron staggered back, shockingly caught off guard. you honestly expected him to block it like your other ones; but no you managed to land a hit on his cheekbone area, hitting some of the side of his nose. your poor form made for your knuckles to hurt badly.

everyone stopped what they were doing; even you froze. kenji in the back, trying not to laugh. aaron then recovered, his land touching the side of his face. his face didn't show anger, pain, nor surprise - he was smiling in admiration.

"oh my god, i'm so sorry!"

"no, don't apologize, amor. i'm very content being the first to experience your strength firsthand."

you and aaron ended up cutting practice short and went to the infirmary. you helped treat the large bruise on his face you'd given him as a small apology, and he wrapped your sprained knuckles and partly chasted you for incorrect hand form. was he looking to get punched again?

the following day, aaron woke you up earlier than your normal routine. he mentioned an opportunity for you and juliette to finally get practice outside of the base, and you quickly agreed. you asked why so suddenly, and then he disclosed he was going to visit his mother. it was her birthday, he explained. he didn't say much after that and went over that kenji will keep you and juliette invisible after he leaves.

but you couldn't help your curiosity and asked a little about his mother. hearing the story of his ring broke your heart. the only gifts you got were when you and juliette exchanged homemade gifts for your shared birthday, but the story made you appreciate that tradition much more.

"i think it's good you still visit her."

"is it?"

"it is. knowing you have someone there is sometimes enough. whenever i remembered i had my sister with me, it made the asylum not completely terrible. and around you, i feel like i achieve anything."

juliette, kenji, and you, invisible, met with warner at his tank. you didn't even need to tell him of your presence before he helped you into the tank and got on the driver side to start it.

"how'd you..." you ask, confused.

"i can sense your presences. especially yours."

"woah, freaky. what's mine feel like? peanut better?" he got ignored.

you settled on the opposite window side, juliette next to you, and kenji next to aaron. kenji started shuffling around, uncomfortable.

"dude, y/n, switch seats with me."

"what why?"

"your boyfriend is touching my leg."

"you flatter yourself." aaron interjects.

"c'mon hurry up! i think he's about to knife me..."

"just switch with juliette. it's easier."

"no way, if i'm gonna move, i might as well get the window seat."

you roll your eyes (not that he can see), and the two of you begin a messy movement of bodies to switch seats. poor juliette, stuck in the middle, getting hit by an occasional limb.

"ow, you just hit me in the face-" juliette complains.

"sorry, i'm trying my best-"

"now you just hit me!" you exclaim.

"oh my god, let me just-"

"kenji!"

kenji was the first to get to his new seat, you were situated over both him and juliette. kenji, tired of your leg in his face, shoved you with brief warning. and in an attempt to stable yourself you put your hands out on aaron's lap, but one hand missed. and landed on his groin. aaron visibly flinched and put his lips together in a straight line to contain his painful expression.

you gasped and hastily moved your hands in a panic, then to make matters worse - you fell face first in his lap. you were so happy to be invisible at the moment.

aaron takes a sharp intake of air, and his knuckles turn white from how tight he grips the wheel. you scramble you sit correctly, accidentally putting a hand on his groin again before finally in the seat. the silence was deafening.

aaron promptly dropped you both off at an empty site and bid you goodbye. you gave him some last words for comfort that you noticed he appreciated. then he went off.

sometime later, it was time for the four of you to meet up again. the practice had been somewhat successful. there were many miscalculations with practicing and being invisible. the three of you kept stumbling into each other, having the wrong place meant, and arguing over who was right. but ignoring that, you did get some practice in there.

aaron, however, was unusually late. it worried you. kenji and juliette didn't think much of it. but since you knew his location, you sensed there was something wrong. you asked both of them to check on him to ensure he was already, and you three walked to the house. you avoided mentioning aaron's mother.

you asked juliette and kenji to wait outside as you went inside.knji begrudgingly agreed, ensuring he could keep the invisibility up inside, too. juliette bid you to be careful and return as soon as possible.

you saw a few different pictures of aaron with his mother as a child. you looked through different rooms until you found him. he was sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest, his frame trembling. his mother died; you put together. you quickly knelt down and gave him a hug that he accepted. you let him hold you tightly as he sobs sorrowfully. it was painful to witness, so you let him cry onto your shoulder for however long he needed.

an hour later you returned, kenji and juliette already in the tank, no invisibility. you didn't need for them to say anything to know they had questions, so you avoided their gaze. next to you, aaron held your hand the whole way back

his mother's death reminded you of his family, the unknown fact to him that he shares blood with adam and james. you wanted him to know, but truly, you didn't want any part of that mess. knowing was already knawing at you as it was. juliette disagreed; she thought adam needed to tell aaron.

you thought leaving aaron alone was the best decision. you even planned to spend the night where everyone else was. but as you were packing a bag, he stopped you. aaron grabs your arm and turns you to look at him.

"you're right. i am holding back. i was telling you how much you were in denial, but it was me who was holding back. you've always seen me in a light like no one has. i've never thought of myself as even a decent man until you came around. and it scares me. so much. i'm afraid of disappointing you, and you'll be disgusted with me, see the monster i see every day in the mirror. but if giving more of myself is all it takes to be yours, then it's done. you can learn every crevice of my soul if it means you'll stay with me."

you knew it then, "i love you." you are in love.

he grabs your face and kisses you in less than a second. the kiss being so loving and careful, he takes his time memorizing your lips. he lifts you in the air prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. from there, the kiss molds into passion and need. before you know it, you're both lying on the bed with him hovering over you.

aaron groans into your mouth, "say it again."

you softly giggle, "i love you."

"god, you have no idea what you just unleashed, amor."

your stomach is doing a million glips. your entire body is in frenzy. you're ready to have a heart attack there and then. it was only just the beginning as well.

"lift your hips for me, amor."

"c'mon, angel, don't get shy on me now."

"i'm afraid you're never getting rid of me now mi amor."

very long night.

you slept through most of the morning, only woken up by aaron laying kissing down your neck. then he started going lower down your body. any sleep you had was now gone.

"aaron.. what are you doing."

"nothing."

"liar."

"shhh.. you just lay there, i'm just going to enjoy my breakfast."

the man was insaitable; you were sure you weren't ever gonna get out of bed that day. but eventually, you did. had to dedicate half an hour to walking properly again.

you went to you rfinal fitting for suits, and the new look was incredible. juliette traded the purple for a new black suit - kenji not liking his color stolen.

"why am i the only one in color now?"

"so, you can get spotted and shot at first while the rest of us get away." kenji answers.

"you're the worst."

aaron walked up behind you and whispered in your ear, "how quickly can you take this off?"

you smack his chest and give a playful disapproving look.

"i mean, it definitely can stay on, too."

"aaron!"

the bliss of everything helped ease your nerves for the following day. you were sat in aaron's room going over the plan for the millionth time. aaron kept reassuring you you'd be perfect and worrying will do nothing but install fear.

"it's just... what if it backfires. what if no one listens or surrenders?"

"it wont and they will."

"you're right. i'll just tell them my scary boyfriend will come after them."

"for you? always." he kisses your cheek, "i like the sound of you saying boyfriend, but scary?"

"well, everyone besides me is pretty scared of you."

"and what about you, what do you think of me?"

"i think you're cute."

"cute? yeah, let me show you just how cute, i can be."

aaron can never take his off of you for too long.

the next day, you, juliette, and the others stood in front of sector 45. both the people and the soldiers gathered there, all of their eyes fixed on your group. it was like the world's largest show and tell.

aaron started it off with a speech, informing everyone of the truth and the fact you and juliette were alive and well. then your sister took over, and directly told the crowd the plan to destroy the reestablishment, you gave a few words of your own, but juliette did most of the talking much to your relief.

then the questions from the crowd starting, so it was time for the group to showcase their powers. finally it was down to juliette and you.

juliette climbed to a building s good hundred feet from the ground, then jumped off and landed - making the ground tremble and shatter beneath her.

"how the hell do i top that?" you whisper to yourself.

with a comforting look from aaron, and a deep breath, you stepped into the front. you looked for a fairly easy but impressive thing to lift and spotted a very tall tower. bingo.

using your ability, you began carefully levitating it above the ground. you closed your hand into a fist, and the tower began breaking into bits. people began to panic as the rubble started coming toward them, but suddenly, you transformed the pieces into butterflies flying around the people. everyone looking around in amazement.

you took the biggest deep breath once you were done. very happy your practice paid off, and you didn't accidentally end up killing a crowd.

the crowd cheered and roared. the presentation proved to be successful because they got on board with destroying the reestablishment. the soldiers surrendered and joined the rebellion.

back in the training room, everyone was overjoyed with the success of overtaking sector 45, but now came the hardest part. winning a war.

juliette ran straight to you, attacking you in a very strong hug. so strong you had to tell her to chill on the power a bit. she apologized and released you. the recent events were still reeling in your mind, not fully comprehended.

"oh my god, juliette what did we just do?"

"we just started a war my dearest sister."

and now you had to wait to face anderson in likely a day or two. he almost killed you last time. but you wouldn't let him get lucky again.

the group, minus aaron, sat in the training room discussing what was next. one talk to another led to the topic of anderson.

"i've never even met the guy. wonder what he's like?"

"he's handsome. it's actually insane how evil, but striking he is." you blurt out.

juliette agrees, but the group looks at you weirdly.

"dude, you just called your boyfriend's dad attractive."

"what? i don't mean it in a weird way."

"hey, at least you've got a backup option if the first anderson doesn't work out. "

you throw a pillow at kenji's head.

then the topic of anderson's name came about, and that's when the trouble began. adam answered his name was paris; but suddenly, aaron arrived in the room, overhearing the conversation.

aaron put him against the wall, interrogated him on how he knew, and adam not saying anything. you couldn't take it anymore, so you yelled out the truth.

"he's your bother!"

aaron didn't believe it. juliette kept pressuring adam until he finally confessed. everyone gave the two of them space to work things out as everyone else busied themselves. when all was on steady terms, aaron sat with you.

"you should've told me."

"i know, i'm sorry. but it really wasn't my secret to tell."

"i had a right to know."

"c'mon, if you had some sort of family secret of mine, would you tell me right away?"

he hesitates, "you're right. you didn't want to get involved, i understand that."

you tell yourself it didn't matter, but you couldn't help but ask, did he deliberately avoid answering. you brush it off, probably nothing.

you returned to aaron's room, you both talked about the brother situation more, and aaron mentioned spending more time with both kent's. you were happy to see he was content to learn about his new family and want to see them more.

"this is great. i'm happy when you're happy. it's deserve more close people in your life."

"but i have you, and that's enough."

"very sweet, but family relationships are different. i was fortunate to have a sister in my life. what if my mother hadn't had the both of us, juliette not being my sister? seems unimaginable.."

aaron goes rigid, being in his lap, you notice immediately, "you alright?"

he relaxes and nods, "this whole situation has me a bit disorientated. enough brother talk. let me remind you why our relationship has much better advantages than other ones.."

a full night of sleep was just a foreign concept at this point.

it took one day for anderson to come to the sector. you all had luckily kind of prepared for it, so there was a plan set that you all were to follow. kenji, juliette, and you were responsible for going to the ship to deal with anderson while the rest took care of the matter on land.

before separating, you said your farewell and good luck to aaron. you tried to cry when saying goodbye to james and promising all would be fine. lastly, you gave aaron a kiss, and you promised each other to be safe.

"i have no doubts that you will succeed. my father can't even fathom the power you possess."

as you three board the port, you notice the massive groups of soldiers. juliette has the idea of you pushing them into the water with your powers, which you do.

you each take turns getting onto the ship, 5-second gap each. however, once you get inside, you can't find neither juliette or kenji. still invisible, you take your chances going through different doors, trying not alert soldiers.

but it fails because bullets began shooting in your direction. you run as fast as you can; unlike juliette, you are not invincible neither was your suit, at least not entirely.

with your invisibility gone, you get cornered with at least 7 soldiers, armed. your instincts kick in, and you start throwing men and attacking them with your energy. one soldier begins shooting at you when you're caught off guard. you hold your hand out as a protection and close your eyes, but you see the bullet is stopped - by your shield. you hadn't even made an effort to create it yet, and it presented itself like it was an automatic presence.

after witnessing that, the guard abandoned the ship and ran off. you couldn't blame him; you doubt he got paid enough to deal with all this.

you attention is shifted when you heard loud crashes and screams. you recognize them as your friend and your sister. you rush toward the room where the sound was originating.

you see kenji on the ground in pain and juliette not too far off; she's crouched down, clutching her head, and struggling to stand. you spot anderson, with another man, who you recognize is causing juliette's pain with his sonic wave gift.

you focus your energy on the boy, focusing on hurting him. then he stops his pressure waves and starts howling in pain, crouching down like juliette had. you were in a trance, channeling all your energy into hurting the guy, then - you snapped his neck.

you ran to juliette first, helping her get up, then you checked on kenji who was in worse shape.

anderson drew his gun, and started shooting bullets at you both, but it simply just bounced off. you and juliette drew your own weapons; you looked at each other and knew what had to happen next.

you focus your energy on anderson, his legs then collapse under him. he starts scrambling on the ground. juliette steps on his hands - shattering his borns with her power.

"remember that lesson on justice getting served?"

you shoot him in the chest, and juliette aims for his head.

4 shots - one for adam, one for aaron, one for juliette, and one for you.

it was a blur after that. sara and sonya were found and attended to kenji who was luckily not in any fatal condition, he would be okay.

it felt like you were experiencing someone out-of-body, unreal. juliette went up to the speaker system, capable of speaking to the entirety of the sector. she announced the end of the reestablishment and its new leader.

he was dead. it was over.

still bloodied and bruised, you stood on the tallest tower of the compound. you hadn't talked to anyone; everyone too busy rejoicing. but you were still digesting everything that had just happened.

you look over the new land and wonder what could be in store next.

you're not surprised when juliette and aaron find you, they know you too well at this point. they don't say anything and each take a side next to you. aaron puts a hand around your waist and tugs you toward him.

"the entire rest of the world is coming after us now, you know."

"i'd love to see them try." juliette says confidently.

"i believe as long as our bonds remain strong, we can overcome anything." though. that wasn't how you really felt.

you didn't want to damper a glorious day. but you couldn't help the pit forming inside of your stomach, telling you this was only the beginning of a treacherous path.

but nothing come could destroy the bonds you forged, right?

@whatsupb18 @letspretendimnottrash @heart-an0n @mrsspector-grant @kikilarast10 @nina357 @lupinswolfsbanes (tysm for the support)

[poppy-metal]

losing my marbles thinking about jordan taking your virginity (it's all i talk abt atp ik it's annoying 😔). about how it's not their first time having sex, but it's the first time it's meant something to them--the way it makes them feel something they've never felt before. it having always been a means to an end, not something they associated with love or some sort of deeper connection--just something mutually beneficial n sometimes necessary.

but then there's you, looking up at them like they're your whole universe. pupils blown out, eyes hazy n teary when they're sliding their fingers inside of you--your arms shaking, clinging to them like a lifeline. little cunt clenching around them when they tell you how good you are, praises of "that's it, baby. you were made for this, weren't you?" nd remarks on all your sweet lil reactions :( nd they're so, so angry at you--at the throbbing between their legs--but it melts away when you look up at them all desperate and fuzzy. cut you off w their lips on yours when you open your moutb to say something that's only gonna cloud their judgement even more.

nd it's finally something real for them--their thumb rubbing your hip softly saying more than any "i love you" ever could. they're angry at themselves bc they're supposed to be woke!! know that virginity is a construct!! but some debauched and desperate and possessive part of them wants it so bad. wants to be the first person to make you cum on their fingers, their mouth, their cock--wants to be the only person. ever. know that won't happen, can't happen, but want it so bad it hurts a little bit.

so they have to settle for this--making you feel so good that there are tears streaming down your pretty face. taking care of you, their sweet little thing, in a way they never knew they needed to. trying not to think about how this, you, has done more for them than anything or anyone else ever has. try and fail to pretend that they're not falling in love w you.

once they're done having grand realizations they go back to being pissed at u 😋 compensating for all the lovey dovey gross stuff they wanna do witb you

-🦸‍♀️

this is so.

them being angry and resentful because of how fucking weak you make them feel, but they're also smitten and adore you so fucking much they can't help but be gentle with you - be sweet to you. tell you how pretty your little cunt is, how soft she feels inside, how good you're going to make them feel when they push inside.

they shouldn't feel as satisfied as they do when you clench around them, coming first for them with their fingers and their words, clinging to them and hiding your face in their neck. they love it though, love being the first to overwhelm your senses, to touch you where you're wet and wanting and make you see stars up close. it makes them feel like a fucking god. it also makes them so achingly protective of you, seeing you so vulnerable and teary eyed in their arms, so delicate nd easy to shatter.

they have to beg you, "tell me to stop," when they slide on top of you, lips brushing against yours because they're afraid of how deep they're going to fall if you let them have this, have you. "i need you - to tell me if you don't want this -"

but you just wrap your legs around them, hooking your ankles to their lower back and pressing them close - close enough that their cock slides through the slick mess of your cunt, head catching and notching at your hole - you gasp but you dont tell them to stop, fuck you, you're just egging them on, cupping their cheeks and looking up at them like they're everything to you.

"please dont stop. i - i want this. i want you,"

"fuck -" and because they must hate themselves, "look at me. don't fucking look away."

because why not just ruin themselves completely, when they slide inside you and have to see the way your eyes widen and the way your face scrunched at being filled and the way your mouth falls open all in close detail with their forehead pressed against yours, not letting you turn away.

"oh god," they dont know who say it. you're gasping, and they're moaning, and your lips are sharing the same air as they rock in and out.

"you feel so fucking good, baby, fuck." that is them, praise spilling from their lips because the warm heaven wrapped around their dick - squeezing, milking, hugging - just pulls everything out in the open. "i love being inside you - holy shit. just keep squeezin' me like that."

they love you.

[aachria]

once again writing as im reading yk how it is

You apologizing in the notes for a longer chapter will never fail toget me hyped and sorta nervous 🧍‍♀️

SABO AND LUFFY REUNION I LOVE THEM

"So did you (get taller) , thank you for staying alive long enough for me to know that" aachria the writer that you are 😭 you always manage to make me emotional

Snakebite/fangs sabo my beloved ALSO SEPTUM PIERCING SABO??? HIM HAVING A SHIT TOM OF PIERCINGS??? AACHRIAAAAA. WRITE MORE SABO CHAPTERS AND MY LIFE IS YOURS.

"…Who the fuck picks a prosethetic that looks like Sans from Undertale???? " Sabo the man you are

AACHRIA. PLEASE. IM AT THE "ACE TO BE EXECUTED" PART. WTF. WHAT WHAT WHAT 😭 UHM. I knew my ass was being too hopeful about both of them being there 😕 i shouldn't have trusted you.

If Ace dies. I'll cry. /th. You'll cry too so please don't kill him 🙏‼️

NOOOO ED DONT BLAME YOURSELF ITS NOT UR FAULT YOU WERE LIKE ⅘S DEAD ATP FR

THE VIVRE CARD OMG AACHRIA PL3ASE HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US HOW COULD YOU 😭😭

"I can’t save him. I can’t save him, I can’t save him I CAN’T SAVE HIM I CAN’T SAVE HIM— " ricky when i catch you Ricky. I dont wanna call this foreshadowing cause that might give you ideas and i predicted quite a bit of stiff right. So i predict Portgas D. Ace will Live.

MONKEY D. LUFFY THE MAN YOU ARE 😭

I want you to know i cried at the Luffy comforting and forgiving Ed part 😕

" “How can you say that?” I croak, trying to find any hint of dissension in his expression. “How can you not believe it?” he counters." 😕😕😕😕😭😭😭😭 you're a bully

ED COWBOY HAT ED COWBOY HAT ED COWBOY HAT OMG IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS BUT IT WOULDVE BEEN BETTER HAD ACE BEEN THE ONE TO GIVE IT TO THEM IN PERSON ANOTHER REMINDER THAT YOU'RE A BULLY. A MEAN MEAN BULLY 😭

ACES NOTE OMG I LOVE HIM SM HE BETTER NOT DIE 😭

" Bit of a shit way to meet and in law but hi" and then no elaboration is so funny 😭

PLANNING FUCK YEAH I ALWAYS LOVE THISE SEQUENCES IN FICS

Did. Did failure make ed forget about the kuma sending everyone away thing? Or are they gonna try to put it off til after marineford??? Or is it just not gonna happen at all???

Ed repeatedly saying "i love competent people" with kore and more intensity 3ach time is so real what a mood

Jonah mentioned 🤭 love to see sabo and ace bonding

ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK

"Unquestionably" 🤭🤭🤭

im still worried abt wtf is gonna happen a propos the strawhats separation

Amazing chapter as always excited to see the next chapter that you might post on Wednesday THANK YOU SO MUCH ‼️

GUYS I PROMIE I'M NOT APOLOGIZING I'M MAKING A STATEMENT BECAUSE I'M A BIG CONSISTENCY GIRLIE AND I FIGURE YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW GOING IN THAT IT'LL BE LONGER THAN YOU'D TYPICALLY THINK. LIKE IF YOU THINK YOU CAN READ A CHAPTER BEFORE GOING SOMEWHERE AND DON'T GET TO FINISH BECAUSE IT'S LONGER THAN YOU EXPECED. I DON'T KNOW.

but yeah getting you hyped and nervous is pretty much the intended effect.

I was trying real hard to keep faithful to the feelings from the canon Sabo and Luffy reunion while also not having Ace being DEAD as the driving force of the thanks (the ASL brothers thanking each other is something that can be so personal—) and I'm, if nothing else, content with where it ended up. Fuckin' love those two.

Nothing shows how much you love a character like giving them fucktons of piercings and just generally disregarding their canon design. He is my special little guy and I will make him strange and weird like he deserves and if that included stealing his fucking eye and making it more awesome and also poking a myriad of holes in his face, who's to stop me?

I am terribly trustworthy excuse you. I never said I wasn't going to do terrible things. I asked if you thought I'd do terrible things and I hoped I wouldn't do terrible things, but I never made any promises. Hheh.

I also make no promises not to kill Ace. For the record. But I will cry absolutely.

If there's one thing about Ed, it's that if they're given a chance they will martyr the SHIT out of ANYTHING. Like pookie please your saviour complex is showing.

I was so ready for someone to call out the recurring smoked fish joke like 'hmmmm smoked fish you say kinda of like SMOKE from something BURNING IS IT?!" and then that didn't happen and I felt vindicated. And please when have I ever used foreshadowing before. Doesn't sound like me at all.

Luffy is my hero you GO bestie COMFORT that idiot YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH—

Look that cowboy hat is fantastic and my catalyst for cowboy Ed, who can only get more cowboy cunty from here. Nothing say pirate quite like a cowboy.

Oh yeah baby Ed is very aware of Kuma. There's a bunch of you shits who were real concerned about them forgetting and to that I say the first little sequence of next chapter was supposed to be on the end of last chapter, but it was already too damn long so I had to split 'er up. It'll make more sense when you read it.

I LOVE COMPOTENT PEOPLE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Yeah.... the separation.........

Anyway yeah I didn't end up doing to Wed update because I had a bad week but there WILL be one this week ‼️‼️

[dnpbeats]

how dissapointed would you be if dan and phil revealed they both have romantic partners and its not each other? really curious to know your thoughts on this!

Hmm okay. Honestly I think I would be more shocked than disappointed!! Because I genuinely don't think that's a possibility atp. Now, I think on some level I would be disappointed, not necessarily bc they aren't together but bc that means that they've been click baiting the hell out of "phan" and making fun of phannies 💀 like I think when they do it now, it's funny af and they deserve to be able to do that if that makes sense? Because it's kind of a "they know we know" situation, and also after all the shit the phandom put them through, I'm like yeah!! Say you're getting married in a gaming vid title, make fun of people who obsess over every time you touch!! But I'm viewing them doing all of this with the assumption that they are together. So if they were like "psych no we actually are not together" I think my initial reaction would be like, a little off put I think. like then they'd be making fun of fans for wrongly assuming they're dating yk? and also part of me feels like they should just come out and say they aren't together if they aren't. but upon further reflection I don't think that's fair of me to say (you are witnessing me think this through in real time anon LMAO). Because like at the end of the day, regardless of if they are together or not, that doesn't change the way the phandom used to treat them/their supposed relationship, so shouldn't they be allowed to take the piss either way? and really, they don't owe us any details on their private lives and that still stands if they aren't together so rly they don't have to tell us if they aren't dating, right??

so all of that is to say, yes I would be disappointed at first, not bc they aren't together but bc of how they've joked about it, but I don't think that disappointment is fair to them so I'd get over it asap! lol

(I also think a part of me would be a little sad that they like "didn't make it" or whatever (since we know they at least used to be together), but again I'd try to get over it bc there is still so much beauty to be found in their relationship regardless of if it's romantic or not!! and that would actually be wild if they were such good friends after breaking up! so I think that there's still a lot to admire even if they weren't each other's romantic partners)

[micah-write]

New leasebound update :3

OK so sheesh a lot to unpack here ok ? Bear with me pookies

First meriam clearly favorise women wich in her case trauma n all is comprehensible , if it was right after or some years after . But now we are well 10+ years after the events , it's sad to see that rusty is twisting once again a good story line that could work in so many ways if she wasn't desperate to make meriam seem like the perfect mother that dared to make the mistake of loving a man .

Now onto "you don't need to date a man" Rissa is right , neither does shez . By that logic nobody "need" dating (wich is untrue , humans are a very social kind and being blocked from accessing our social needs is actually traumatizing , hence why homophobia is such a traumatizing thing , as well as transphobia , being denied your identity and made to believe you're someone you're not is also very harmful , I invite everyone to do their own researches on humans social needs it's truly interesting) so here not only does meriam keep her daughter from her validation wich is something very important for her she ask her to not meet her social needs because 1 (2 men if we count the first husband) hurt her ??? It's incredible hypocritical and mean but still it could've been such an interesting plot to explore but rusty keep twisting it as "meriam can do no wrong"

Aaah there it is , rusty believe that pregnancy should no longer exist (she's a very vocal anti natalist( because it feed into women needing men wich is fucking stupid , as a society we need each other we are social being we need diversity at the point where we are in our evolution .

Erm what the flip rusty ??? Do you not know that abortion and contraceptives exist ??? My theory from what we know about rusty is that she might believe contraceptives are women ways to keep sleeping with men without feeling bad about it ? And to feel powerful by giving into patriarchy ? But it's only my opinion take this lightly

Meriam you are exactly saying this , you are praising your lesbian daughter over you straight ones , you keep denying them of the support they need while feeding into shez an overwhelming amount . Plus you ask your daughter to be celibate to avoid any pain , that's not how it works . The more you will deny someone of something they need the more they will grow for it.

Urgh please end me atp it's just fucking reverse homophobia 😭😭 like we get it rusty you hate the straighties that aren't celibate or don't fuck girls .

Ffs not meriam guiltripping Rissa as well "you'll always have a home" a home where only shez has the spotlight ??? A home where rocky can feed into that light because she's celibate ??? A house so toxic and competitive to get their mothers attention they can't even compare to the all mighty shez ? A home where they're treated like dumb girls not listening to their mother??? It's giving rapunzel af

How HOW why is it turned onto meriam ??? Can they understand not everything has to be about HER ?? Her experience isn't an universal one , none is , everyone is so fucking different. No meriam wasn't too stupid , she was scared left alone and needed support and affection , so does Rissa, she need her social needs met .

Ffs , how is dating risking ones life ?? We get it meriam you're traumatized , but if you're so worried warn your daughter and help them notice the red flags if they appear . Your experience shouldn't conditionate your daughters lives

OH MY GOSH YES SLAY RISSA she finally fucking said it 😭😭 They all need therapy asap fr

Urgh more guiltripping , it's honestly very sad to see yet again how meriam , the mother , wasn't ready to die for her daughters but instead parentified her eldest to the point she was on thr verge of making the ultimate sacrifice because of meriam unwillingness to take on her role as a parent and instead acted as the one needing to be saved . It's sickening and yet if it was well written to show meriams flaw God it would be an insane plot line to demonstrate how complex relationships can become under abuse . But no , yet again it's made to romanticize, play in power fantasy and glorify the lesbian daughter and the bi mother she saved (maybe to demonstrate that lesbian need to save bisexuals from their attraction to men ?..)

She keep making shez the only priority. She parentifies shez to the prize of being her most important daughter/person as a whole . It's gross and disgusting because here it's glamorized to further the fantasy of saving someone and then being seen as their most important person as a reward . It's to the point where I'm wondering , did rusty dreamed of saving her mother ? Did she have a similar conversation and wished she was the one being important. I somewhat can relate to the deep desire of finally being seen and loved as equally as their sibling as you've been parentified . Even tho for me it happened under real trauma and not that disgusting excuse of a trauma depiction. Because rusty did admit to incorporate real stuff that happened to her in her life so I'm truly curious about it all .

As a whole this page was a gross excuse of either making meriam the hero into finally recognizing her daughter shez as the hero she is , the growth of the power fantasy rusty wrote for the other radfems/terfs that most likely want to romanticize others trauma as a power fantasy to enhance "women power n strength" , or this panel is a representation of something that happened to rusty at some point and wanted to express but twisted so this time she was the hero .

[pixlpxie]

Hi Pixie!

I'd like to thank you for your openness about sexual things, needs and fantasies, as it greatly helped me accept my own sexual side.

I've always had quite high libido, I get aroused easily and I've always been really into porn, my friends also know me to be "the pervy friend" just based on my humour and general horniness, but even though it's something I can laugh at, I still often feel shame at myself and at the feelings I have.

The feeling that I shouldn't be having these thoughts, that I am somehow flawed and disgusting, that there's something wrong with me because I am so "feral", it just wouldn't leave me alone and it was something I was extremely embarrassed by and I feared that people would find me to be some deranged sexual lunatic.

I went through sexual abuse in my childhood, and accepting that side of me has always been really hard, but you've helped me a lot - to realise that such things are normal and there's nothing shameful about them. That this is all perfectly natural, that it doesn't make me disgusting or wrong or tainted to have sexual needs, that I am allowed to explore kinks and take pleasure from fantasies.

So for that, thank you so much.

I'm sorry for the long message and oversharing, but it always goes through my mind when I see the anon hate you get, people calling you disgusting and such and how effortlessly you shoot them down and laugh at them, absolutely unapologetic.

I wish all those people realised that it's extremely important to have spaces where you can comfortably share these feelings and thoughts, that it should be normalised to talk about sex and sexual needs and that the taboo of it isn't right, especially when it comes to female pleasure. Purity culture isn't cute and women are also people with needs.

Spaces like this help people realise that they aren't wrong or broken for their natural instincts, whether they've been brought up in religious circles or went through abuse, what you're doing on your platform is important to many who thought they were alone in these feelings and feared to talk about it, because they were afraid they would be called weird and disgusting for having a functional body that demands certain things that are natural and healthy.

Thank you very much <3

Ok let me go cry real quick and ill be back 😮‍💨

I had to read this a few times because i usually cant see what i do here as something that could help people so reading this was so valuable, truly it means the world to me. First of all I'm so sorry for what happened to you, you didn't deserve any of that and I hope you are doing well know 🥺💓 you will do even better 🥹🫶🏻

Having a high libido, different sexual desires and needs are totally normal but even to this day it's treated like a taboo like you said. And trust me i know how it feels like to be that pervy friend, it's exactly like the way you described. Almost in every social group im the one who's too much, too freaky, or too 'different'. My friends are so fun and you can always talk abt pervy stuff with them sure but at the end of the day I am always the weird one because usually i know or say stuff that get them a little horrified. Its all fun and games till it starts to get to you, I had to sit down and think why I am the way I am many times because like you said, something must have been wrong with me. Because why would I enjoy things that my friends don't?

Turns out everything's fine and you shouldn't really bother knowing why. It's okay, it's normal, in fact it's healthy. So the hate I get seems so childish to me and honestly it's fun atp. Sex and kinks are natural, they're human. Everyone will enjoy different things, some will like it more plain and simple while some will like more kinky things. You're not disgusting for enjoying things that the majority don't. Sexuality is fluid and endless, you will keep exploring it throughout your entire life and be as fierce as you can while doing it🫶🏻

Like I said, I am usually unable to comprehend the effect my blog has on people but reading your ask and other similar ones make me feel so many emotions. I never thought my blog would be a safe space for you guys 🥹 Please know that you are always welcome on this blog, we can talk about anything you want and I'll always try my best to help you. And please don't ever be sorry for 'oversharing' or writing 'long' asks bc trust me it's not oversharing or long for me. I love being here with you guys and I hope you know that you mean so much to me🥹😭💓

[aleksanderscult]

Went there and

I mean we know he wouldn’t stop when she says no tbh because he… doesn’t in the subsequent books. Plenty of times when he touches her or kisses her it’s straight up played for horror and he’s overtly like trying to scare her. Meanwhile the R&R “let me” tether scene, for example, despite being framed more romantically, she does straight up tell him to stop but he mostly ignores it.

Uh

“On this topic: the kiss when she was a captive was definitely in noncon territory because she can't say no! No matter if she inwardly wants to kiss him, it's still wrong like he was threatening her friends atp, and she was keeping herself still etc.”

But there are no other such instances. And no instance implies that he would not stop if she says no. HE MOST CERTAINLY WOULD!

If this was legit the case of he won't stop if she said no, he would have already raped her. He didn't have a lack of opportunities. He most certainly pressed his advantage in situations etc and while that must be because he could feel through the tether that she wanted him, it was still harassment and he shouldn't have but apart from that, no.

The Darkling had many opportunities to become a rapist, that's true anon. But he never was. Firstly, I never saw him, see him or ever will see him as one. He doesn't strike me as that kind of person. Besides if he was, Leigh would definitely say it and wouldn't support him in her interviews. Secondly, (and that's my own point of view) I see him as a man that stops when the woman he has in front of him doesn't want to continue. He wants someone that is willing to him, that wants him and not to violently force them to have sex with him.

Now about how that person calls their intimate moments "horror" is uhh.....not what I would describe them at all. You see it's all about the perspective. From the Darkling's perspective, he wants her but he hates it. Feelings were not part of his plans and, furthermore, they make him vulnerable. But he can't help but feel drawn to her and imagine a future where she's there too. For Alina, she wants him too but that frightens her. Because he's a murderer and a manipulative person. He brings out a dark, forbidden part of her that she fears because she wants to remain good and pure. But she also hates him because of what he has done to her and to the people she cares about. But she also wants him because he understands her on a level that no one else does. The loneliness, the isolation, the desire for power, the uniqueness of their powers and existence are all something that binds them and Alina sees a part of her in him for that reason. Just like he sees a part of him in her. Aleksander is lost in his rage, desperation and obsession but Alina is his light. The good part of him. Alina is lost in her anguish to remain good, pure and holy but Aleksander is her darkness. The dark part of her. Both of them have that piece of the puzzle that the other one lacks and refuses to have but still seeks and, secretly, likes. IT'S ONE HELL OF A SHIP.

So I wouldn't call their intimate moments "horrific" because that is both untrue and too simplistic. Their intimate moments are sometimes filled with lust, other times with longing but always with a surprise and bitterness because of that pull that they feel and neither of them wanted. Or maybe they subconsciously did want it? Aleksander always wanted to have a companion and Alina always wanted to belong to someone and be understood. "Careful what you wish for" maybe applies to them, huh?

(Okay gonna stop here. I don't know how the hell I just wrote a mini meta about their relationship.)

Lastly, about the tether kiss, it's true that the situation seems like a fine line between harassment and Alina's habit to deny to herself that she called him (but she was also unaware of it). I think Aleksander knew that Alina wasn't fully aware that she was calling him. But he still came that night because he missed her and also responded to her loneliness. Maybe if Alina wasn't so preoccupied with trying to remain pure, she would acknowledge that he wanted him there and then the scene wouldn't seem like harassment. Because she did want him but she's afraid of going mad and, furthermore, she keeps pushing her feelings for him away just like I said in the previous post.

[youremyheaven]

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/754499296935723008/when-the-delusion-wears-off-and-you-realize-he

I was talking to this guy for a while and actually really liked him only for him to text me, “what would you do if your ex texting you? And it still hurts to even see her name?” I was like… oh 🙁 first of all whyyyy would you ask me of all people. This was in the beginning tho so I thought I’d let it slide cause it had only been like 2 months since they broke up and we were just friends atp. Anyways it did hurt. he said he told her, not to contact him and he’d text her when he was ready.

Now I’m not a complete idiot. I did want to stop talking to him after this because I felt like, yeah he still likes his ex. Buttttt after that he started being way more into our connection and then things progressed and we started making plans for the future…

Then I noticed he started replying slower and dryer. He also used to call me babe and stopped. I was like maybe I’m reading too much into it, I shouldn’t assume blah blah blah. Then he starts responding once a day and I started thinking, ok, he’s either found someone new or he’s talking to his ex again. Ughhhhhhh. So one day I asked, how’s your day? He goes, it’s good, I’m moving back to xyz (country he used to live in, his ex is there) I go oh… ummm what? He goes, yeah they pay more and also there’s this girl there I want to meet. Now the whole time we weren’t actually in a relationship so lesson learned to never act like you’re in one when you aren’t because then they can say they don’t owe you anything.

So I was hurt and stopped replying as much. The reason I kept replying is because we were actually friends and I actually really liked him as a person. also because we never talked about labels at all, I felt it wasn’t fair to hold him to that. But I should have just stopped talking to him because he ended up leaving me on read and now we haven’t talked in a month.

There’s also more in between that I left out because it’s be too long but that’s basically it. It should be illegal to call people “baby/babe/love” when you have no intention of actually being those things. Our whole thing was just not defined at all and very weird. I’m never doing anything like that again without clear lines of what we are. And part of why it hurts so bad is because he’s not a bad person. The reason I liked him was because I respect the way he lives his life. Part of it was also my fault because he wanted to move forward but I wasn’t able to because of some personal issues. I just wished I’d met him at a different timeeee lord whhhhhyyyy 😩😩😩 anyways I wish him well.

UGHHHH men are just :////

you shouldn't have had to go thru that but think of it as a learning experience

just going ahead, never get too attached to men who:

a. have just broken up with their partner

b. fawn over you and give you tooo much time, attention, energy for no reason

c. make promises that sound too good to be true

we cannot control how others will treat us but we can control ourselves. dont be swayed by flattery or niceties. enjoy it and have fun with it but dont take it too seriously??? if they actually mean any of it, youll find out and if they dont, youll find that out as well.

let yourself be admired and wanted and learn to separate that from being loved

you dont have to assume the worst of people but you can also be realistic ,, no matter what they throw your way be a little unshakeable and stable in yourself, so that you dont get too attached to receiving their time and attention

dont be desperate and i dont mean this to be harsh AT ALLLL, bc i honestly know what its like to feel that way but if you seem needy for someone you aren't "officially" with, they immediately start acting up bc men are like that :///

how not to be desperate = seeing yourself as a prize, he could be the king of france but you're you<333

Song JiA is my fav example of magnetic secure female energy. She's Bharani Sun so that does explain it

there are many videos explaining her allure and how we can all learn from her

i hope you feel better soon and forget all about that crusty ass man!!!! He clearly never deserved you

[winslowat3am]

Do u give money to people on tumblr?

Short answer, no. I don't reblog those posts, either. Majority of them are scammers, bonus scamster points if they use their race/gender as emotional manipulation. (Rant incoming cause this pissed me off, not you, but it had me thinking about a lot of shit). I'm sorry but I could never be on Tumblr begging for money, that's embarrassing, no offense. I commend anyone who's shameless enough to do that cause in all seriousness, couldn't be me. I feel like there are just some things you shouldn't do & asking strangers, half of which are minors, to give you their hard earned money in trade for nothing is one of them. The victim mentality of "let me spam my followers with a bunch of sob story updates about my life's issues & guilt trip them into giving me cash", no. Leave them alone. That shit's annoying, inconsiderate & entitled. & it's always the same fucking people holding their hand out. The people you're begging for cash are more than likely struggling too & need theirs. Tumblr is the worst place to ask for assistance. If you need money then you should seek a financial aid program, or I don't know, log the fuck out & get a job like everyone else? That's what people who need money do. There's no excuse, I said this before & I'll say it again, making money nowadays is easier than it has ever been cause of access to technology. Everything is virtual. You can work from home. There are people making millions eating for a fucking living on YouTube. If you're broke atp it's cause you either make excuses for why you can't work or you're just lazy. It's a choice. You don't even need to physically go out & find a real job. Make something. Perform a service. Everyone has something they can offer. Don't sit there & expect people to pay you for nothing. I hate lazy ass people who wallow in self pity, make excuses & don't contribute anything to society & simply exist to leech off others. It's parasitic & pathetic. You "can't work", but you can play around on social media every day? Hmm. You deserve to live in poverty then. You're not special. You better sell some p-ssy, d!ck or c*ke. If you're bussing it open to everyone anyway you might as well get paid for it, in the words of my wife, "make it count". Seriously, I don't respect those people. Tumblr beggars are the equivalent of irl bums who loiter at gas stations harassing passersby for change. It's fucking irritating & unfair that we live in a world where weak people are rewarded, coddled, catered to & given breaks for doing nothing. "Oh well, you know, John can't work, he's dealing with a breakup that has him in a deep depression. I just- I don't know if his mental health will allow him to work." Bro, I sympathize but at the end of the day, screw John. He has no real problems. There are people with cancer & aids right now who are working. People with no limbs are working. He can work, he's physically able to, but ultimately he won't cause he's a mentally weak man with no drive. Let's just call it what it is. I've been homeless & depressed before, I dug myself out of that hole WITH NO HELP, if people can bounce back from homelessness, addiction, abusive relationships & rebuild their lives, if people with deformities can work there's no excuse for why these lazy asses are living in houses, have food & water, with themselves being the only person they have to take care of but they're on here begging us & living off the gov't. That shit IS sad. & I get so heated over this topic cause the bastards who log on & beg aren't going to log off fucking Tumblr & make adjustments so they can afford to live, they're not going to or offer an exchange, they'll continue to do this shit. In the comfort of their home. Meanwhile, the ones they beg have to scrounge. So no motherfucker, I can't help you spend my money. Follower counts mean nothing here cause nobody gets paid on this dead app, this ain't YouTube. If you have hella followers but you still can't eat or pay your bills it's a sign your priorities are fucked. Up. Your followers owe you nothing. Have a little pride & self respect.

[thelunadiviner]

i was tagged by @renegadeem DAYS ago (sowwy for how late this is!) so... it is time!

"9 people you want to get to know better"

3 ships:

valenwind--i mean... come on LOL this one has been with me since i was 11 or 12 (over a decade now!). extremely foundational and, even when i wasn't actively into FF7, has been on my mind ever since i played the game years ago. something something red and blue gays, something something dark hair and blonde hair, something something short and tall. they just fulfill so many good "tropes" and also god i just like these characters SO much its unbelievable. i cannot wait for (what i hope is) the sheer amount of screenshots and screen records of the third part of FF7:R when they are PLAYABLE. the party banter... oh lord...

VKaz--ok... so i am actually a massive Metal Gear Solid fan. i got into it around-ish the same time as i got into FF7 and wow did it change my brain chemistry. there are a few MGS ships that are bone deep in me, but VKaz does something else to me. its blinding. its visceral. its like... wow. it doesn't help that Kaz is probably my favorite character in the game and Venom is sooooo. yeah. cute... idk! but i could probably talk about these guys for literally hours. and it would be incomprehensible. ik this is my squeenix blog but if anyone ever wants to talk MGS with me...

tie (sorry LOL) between akusai and stakhemy--those are so so so different but whatever LOL. akusai is also ages old, one of my first ships. i actually used to be much more into xemsai but akusai has taken the reins. KH is also a decade+ interest of mine (my late childhood/early teen trifecta was KH, FF7, and MGS) so i have so much to say... also i think i am in love with Saix lowkey. now, stakhemy is a new one and much more niche (any Pathologic fans?). i made one of the best character/ship spotify playlists ever for those guys. whenever i think of Rubin i become a little ill. i just find them so fascinating (Patho is super interesting on its own anyways).

first ship: whoooo boy. probably Link/Sheik? LoZ was like. my first ever THING i got into. i used to play pretend in my yard wearing a green tunic and a green santa hat i cut the puff off of to live out my Twilight Princess Link dreams. if not Link/Sheik, then probably xemsai.

last song: Respite On The Spitalfields by Ghost (on a massive Ghost kick because of a friend, its all ive been listening to... my favorite by them is Twenties and/or I Believe)

last TV show: i just watched the 5th episode of Interview with the Vampire this morning with a bestie, but the last show i finished was True Detective season 1 (for the 2nd time... i'm obsessed.. i have a sideblog...)

currently reading: i have been trying to finish Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman for over a year atp but 1. i am a slow ass reader, 2. i started it over already, 3. something sad happened so i got discouraged, 4. im so busy and am trying to learn to get better about reading (ADHD moment)

currently eating: nothing atm but i did have a creme brulee cream puff from one of my fav bakeries (shouldn't have spent the money but my name change court hearing was a success so i celebrated <3)

currently craving: im always craving something i love food LOL honestly the first thing that came into my head was a smoothie... but i also love all Asian cuisine and there's this amazing place nearby that has a bomb Pad See-Ew

thank you sm for tagging me!! i cannot think of anyone really to tag atm so i'll probably come back and do that later when i'm less busy.

[mrs-monaghan]

Some saying watch jk debunk i wanna ask how do you think he's gonna approach this thing? If he even approaches it at all like is he suddenly gonna go live and be like"oh i didn't do this or that" like it's not something as the album recording thing it's just taehyung saying jk sang that song so like do y'all expect jk to go live and say"i didn't sing that song" or something?

Well, pretty much just like in the past when he's clarified any misinformation. Vermin going nuts over something V said and JK going "it wasn't that deep" 🤭🤭 we'll see if one of them comments on his next live and he decides to address it.

But if we have learnt anything, its that V isn't lying. But it could be a bit embelished. However, JK sings for everyone so this really shouldn't have blown up as much as it did. It's not special or exclusive to Tkk. But as usual since the in4 came from V, we don't have context and so the vermin can make up as much as they want to which they already are.

Meanwhile, I just woke up and the following are the dots I'm seeing getting connected;

JK has an extremely busy schedule. We have all seen that. Man is so so busy, jumping from flight to flight that at one point we had him basically sleep walking at the airport

(Poor baby 🥺🥺 no wonder Mimi is worried)

So as tired and busy as he is, he somehow managed to do a TT (🥵🔥💦) which if you've ever been a creator you know it takes several takes to do a TT, but he managed to do one. Then he edited and posted most likely on his flight back. Or on the way to the flight?

Important to note: All he did was upload. There are no new liked videos meaning he didn't have time to peruse and comment like he usually does. So it seems he went on TT just to post this thirst trap 🥵

Quick break to admire his naked back

Okay we're back. He's so distracting. 😩😩

Which brings me to my next point: JK (Jikook) doesn't just do things for no reason. Especially with chapter 2... things just seem to be calculated. Which is why my friends think he's shirtless on purpose. It's a distraction. Because of the biggest clue of them all.... the lyrics to the T-pain Step Up dance challenge

Which brings us back to last night and the 7 minute live where V promised to come back but didn't??? Taekook was trending after his short live and it's been established members see everything. That's not debatable atp. They see international trends as well as Korean trends and Taekook was in Korean trends yesterday so JK definitely saw that. Let's not kid ourselves and pretend he didn't.

To summarize: V came live, did the thing, ended the live quite abruptly, said he'd come back, didn't, then not long after JK posts a hot AF TT with those savage lyrics.

My friend pointed out at the airport he has the same cap and same shoes as the TT

Which of course cements the fact that he did it this morning. Before getting on the flight or whatever.

Anyway anon, saw my friends taking about this because its something JK would do. So question is; Is there something? Or is there not? Don't ask me, I just woke up

.

In other unrelated news, anyone else cringing hard at this part?

Ugh. I can't watch it. Its too much 😬😬😬😬

It wasn't this cringe when he did the same with Harlow. 😬😬😬😬😬

[robotpussy]

I'm starting to believe that impact is dependent on your demographic.

I saw somebody say it's odd that chaka khan has not been inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame, and people started comparing her to the rolling stones and how it's all based on how many tickets you sell and so forth and it's like.... the rolling stones mean nothing to me. the rolling stones mean nothing to most people I know, young and old. they know who they are, they know the gossip that has surrounded them, but chaka khan is more of a icon in my world compared to somebody else's... idk I feel like when people say an artist has very little impact they need to start considering the culture they come from and the demographic.

also I just don't think comparing white musicians to black musicians is viable when most black musicians do not get their flowers (from institutions atleast) unless they are able to branch out to well, white people. people say the same thing about Tina turner.... Tina has contributed SO MUCH to black misoc before even stepping out and contributing even more outside of it, but I still see people say Tina turner had little impact and can't really be granted into places like the rock and roll hall of fame (and tbh does it really mean anything to be inducted into these places? especially in terms of the rock and roll hall of fame, you can have a exhibition without being inducted - i understand many artists need their flowers but atp these academies don't and shouldn't mean shit)