#i mean who doesn't want to be a subway boss?

[off-color-darkrai]

My friend, who is also into Submas, absolutely, positively can't just say the words "All Aboard!", and instead will do a properly loud and drawn out boarding call.

Even sitting less than a foot away from me in an enclosed space.

Every time.

...

Notably if I didn't have crippling social anxiety I would probably be doing it too ...

[bleedingoptimism]

𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚

part 1

“You look pale,” Jeff comments making Eddie snort loudly.

Of course he looks pale, he’s got vampirism, doesn't he? But then again, so does Jeff and he looks great.

“When was the last time you fed?” He asks.

Eddie sighs heavily trying to reign in his bad mood. He knows Jeff’s just worried and wants to help, and he’s grateful to have run into an old friend from high school as soon as he moved into the big city. 

Because he’d be utterly lost without him.

He doesn't know where anything is, he gets lost in the subway, and he has no idea when he’s being charged too much for a muffin or suspiciously too little for a hotdog, or where all the blood markets are.

“Like, two weeks ago,” Eddie finally answers.

Jeff looks surprised but it’s not actually that bad, people with vampirism can go up to 4 to 5 weeks without blood. 

It’s not the same as those vampires from movies and books, they still eat food and they can stand in the sun with just minor cases of sunburn. There’s also the light sensitivity, making them all look like assholes wearing sunglasses everywhere.

Also, they are not allergic to garlic. Which, thank the heavens because Eddie loves garlic, a lot.

There’re a couple of side effects that do come in handy sometimes, like augmented hearing and smell. And the healing spit is super weird but nifty. No super strength regrettably, that would’ve been awesome.

Anyways, it’s like they have super anemia or something.

“I went to a blood bar, hooked up with some dude but. I didn't have a good time, at all. I kind of don't want to go back to bars for a while,” He elaborates and when Jeff frowns worried, he shakes his head,

“No, not like that. It’s just… the dude was like way too into it, you know? It kinda freaked me out.”

“What do you mean? Don't you find it hot? When you feed?” Jeff asks him, curious. 

Eddie nods quickly, “Yes, of course I do! It can be really sexy with the right person, but this guy, he was like- like way too loud and like, he was faking it? I don’t for who, though. And halfway through it, I started getting worried I’d accidentally hired someone instead of just hooked up and I didn’t have any money, and then I started thinking about money and my dick-”

“Ok! Ok, I get it.” Jeff thankfully interrupts him. “Dude, why didn’t you say something, I know of a place. I didn’t mention it before because it’s kind of boujee and handles itself a little differently.” 

“Oh? Do tell” Eddie tells him excitedly, he loves going to new places, especially if they are weird.

“Well, it’s real private, like ‘can’t get in unless you are on the list’ private. And it’s run by this girl. Blonde little thing, super cute. Scary as fuck. Everyone calls her ‘The Boss’” he says doing air quotes.

“Dramatic, I like it.” Eddie smiles.

Jeff chuckles, “So the gist of it it’s you go there and just hang out normally, like any other kind of bar. The place is beautiful, the music is good, and the drinks are delicious. But what's interesting about this place is the hostesses,” he says and even does a little pause for effect before continuing, “Similar to a blood bar there’re people there willing to be fed on but what’s cool about it is they get to choose.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows, “That sounds kind of fun, actually.”

“Right? And it feels, safer somehow? For them?” Jeff agrees and Eddie nods and smiles at him, waiting for him to keep going.

“Anyway, the hostesses choose and then you get to go upstairs and talk through what you want to happen, just feeding, sex, talking, anything they agree to, it's on the table. I once ended up just playing a game of Uno with the girl I fed on and two other hostesses that hadn't picked anyone that night.” he finishes and Eddie laughs delightedly.

“Ok, this place sounds amazing, what’s the catch?” 

“Well, you have to pay an entry fee, the drinks are expensive and there’s always the possibility you’ll leave empty-handed. The first time is free though,” Jeff says.

“Like drugs,” Eddie replies and Jeff nods solemnly, 

“You know the hostesses can be kind of addicting.” 

…

That night, on the way there, Jeff tells him they have to sign a guest list at the entrance,

“No one uses their real name, not because the place is shady or anything! But because they want to leave that choice to us and the hostesses if you ever get too close with one. It's not like, frowned upon.”

Eddie nods listening intently, he feels kind of nervous in a way he hasn't in a while, but he’s not sure why.

“Also, secret nicknames are fun! I’m known as Jay there. So please don’t dox me. Or yourself.” Jeff tells him.

After careful consideration, Eddie smiles and says, “I’ll be… Strider”

“Nerd”

“Shut up, you are just jealous you didn't come up with it yourself”

Jeff laughs, “You got me there,” he says, and then, “We are here” and he opens a big glass windowed door and vows to Eddie, inviting him in.

Eddie chuckles and enters and immediately almost runs into someone—a tall, massive guy with short curly hair and the shadow of a beard.

“Hey freak,” Jeff greets calmly, “He’s with me,”

Eddie cringes at the nickname, bad memories from high school bullying. But the dude just nods and gives Jeff the tiniest of smiles, so he figures it’s the nickname the bouncer chose for himself.

They enter and sign their name in the guest book, a girl about their age with dirty blond hair and hundreds of freckles on her nose and cheeks is there and she asks Eddie a couple of questions. Not in a weird way, but in a ‘you are new and I’m curious’ kind of way.

Eddie feels comfortable and excited as they go in.

Jeff was right, the place is beautiful. The lobby leads to a big room with high ceilings and fake candle-lit lamps. The chairs and tables are antiques and all different but roughly the same time period so they look good together. There’re old signs and posters from all kinds of drinks and different products adorning the walls. And the music is instrumental and oldie too, sounds like probably 40s or 50s.

It is incredibly boujee. But in a fun way, cozy and warm.

They get a seat at a small round table in a corner and Jeff lets Eddie look around for a while before asking,

“So? Weird right? It’s like stepping into another time,”

Eddie snorts, “Yeah, one that has no idea which time period it wants to repre- who is that?”

Jeff looks at where Eddie is looking and sighs, “Of course you noticed Sunshine,”

“Sunshine?” Eddie sighs.

“That’s what they call him. Because apparently he smells like flowers and summer and tastes like orgasms or something,” Jeff says amused rolling his eyes.

The guy, Sunshine, is probably the prettiest person he’s ever seen in his life, definitely the most beautiful man in this room. His face is a contradiction of sharp and round angles that is just absolutely perfect, and he’s wearing a black suit that clings to his body like a second skin, showing off his big shoulders and his tiny waist. He’s looking around the room with big, brown eyes that look bored as he leans against a wall like he’s above it all, he’s a fucking dream.

Eddie swallows audibly and looks smirking at Jeff for a second before his eyes drift back to the man, “Tastes like what, you said” he teases and Jeff snorts.

“Not that anyone would know, as far as I know, he’s never taken anyone upstairs,” he tells Eddie in a conspiratory tone.

That makes him incredibly curious, “Really? Why is he still here then?”

“I don’t know for sure, mostly rumors but he’s the boss’s favorite, that’s for sure. Oh!” Jeff exclaims and then nods his head to a girl sitting on the other side of the room, in a big fancy-looking chair that looks more like a throne than a simple piece of furniture.

She’s got blonde hair up in a ponytail and she’s wearing a flowery dress but there's something about the way she looks around the room, something about the way people walk around her and look at her, with respect or fear, or maybe both. She’s fucking intimidating.

While Eddie’s looking, the girl from the front desk, with the freckles, comes to sit on a small stool beside the “throne”, there’s another one on the other side that’s empty. The blonde girl moves her hand towards freckles and she kisses it and then her shoulder and smiles as she leans in closer and starts whispering to her.

It’s kind of surreal. 

“That’s The Boss, and the girl from the entrance, that’s Sparrow. She’s her girl.” Jeff explains.

“Respect for looking scary in a sundress,” Eddie comments.

And Jeff nods, “Anyways my theory is, Sunshine is actually just a bodyguard and not a hostess but the people that come here like to think they actually have a chance with him, so no one says anything to the contrary.”

Eddie snorts and nods, it makes sense. It's actually very good marketing, just like the ‘the first one is free’ thing. That boss girl is really smart with her business.

Jeff and he get a few drinks and they chat calmly, Jeff isn't looking to go upstairs tonight, he only came by to accompany Eddie and Eddie knows he should be looking around, trying to make eye contact with someone, but he can stop staring at Sunshine.

He even looked at their table at one point, and Eddie thought he was going to faint. He was scanning the room as he apparently does every couple of minutes when he caught Jeff’s eye and Jeff lifted his hand in greeting.

And Sunshine’s face completely transformed, his bored calculating expression changed into a beautiful smile that made his eyes shine. He wiggled his fingers at Jeff cutely before going back to looking like fucking Droopy Dog. If Droopy was the sexiest motherfucker alive. It was amazing to see.

Eddie’s jaw almost hit the table and he turned to look at Jeff stunned and he just shrugged,

“Sunshine was one of the hostesses I ended up playing Uno with. He’s fucking vicious,” he says smiling at the memory.

Eddie chuckles as his eyes follow Sunshine moving across the room, he just can't. Stop. Looking.

But the thing is, Sunshine is looking back now. Keeping eye contact with him obviously and unashamed. It’s thrilling and it makes shivers run down his spine.

He watches as Sunshine sits on the stool on the other side of The Boss’s throne and grabs her hand and holds it, intertwining their fingers. 

The Boss and her girl turn and look at him and the three of them start whispering, looking at him.

“Dude,” he says and turns to Jeff to see if he’s seeing what he’s seeing.

Jeff looks from him to the whispering party, “Un fucking believable, first time here and tonight is the night Sunshine is taking someone upstairs” he says looking fed up, but clearly in a joking manner.

“Is that what you think it’s happening? No way,” Eddie shakes his head as Sparrow says something that makes The Boss chuckle but Sunshine speaks up and she sobers up immediately. Curious.

“He’s looking right at you, he probably went to ask Sparrow about you,” Jeff insists.

“Maybe he’s looking at you”

“He’s seen me before,” Jeff scoffs.

He’s about to reply but their conversation gets interrupted by someone shily clearing their throat. A girl, a hostess, is looking at him with curious eyes, and shit… she’s cute and looks like a nice person but, Eddie can’t- he needs to know what those looks from Sunshine meant.

He needs him.

He looks back at the group quickly to see Sunshine and The Boss in deep conversation and Sparrow… is she glaring at him?

He rejects the girl, as nicely as possible and Jeff scoffs and murmurs ‘unbelievable’ under his breath again as Eddie turns to look back at Sunshine.

Who is walking toward them, holy shit.

“Holy shit,” Jeff says and then moves to stand. Eddie grabs his wrist and tries to pull him back.

“Wait what are you doing, dont-” But Jeff frees himself and starts walking away,

“Good luck!” He sings songs and then leaves him alone.

part 1: you are here

part 2: 👄

part 3: 🩸

bonus content: ☀️

ao3: 🌙

art: 🦇

coffee?☕🥐💕

[hotchtits]

go on bby. talk about hotch. as much as you want ill read it all

*kisses you on the mouth sloppy style*

How I feel about this character

AAARGSHHSIDK AA AAAJDJEJ AHHHDJSJSJ

uh i mean he’s cool i guess.

no all jokes aside there are very few characters that are doing it like him.

he’s the leader of one of the most elite teams in the FBI. he’s a wet cat. he’s the epitome of traditional heterosexuality. he’s a boy kisser. he’s cold and distant. he loves his team more than anything in the world. he’s the next best profiler after gideon. he’s a massive idiot and a dork who collects coins. he’s got the skill level of a sniper/marksman. he does most of his team's paperwork so they can focus in the field. he’s no nonsense and straight laced. he seriously considered using web shooters at the FBI. he frequently catches an attitude with his boss, bigoted cops, and generally people in higher positions of power than him (and they just kind of take it). he has enough connections to get the italian government to revoke diplomatic immunity of a vatican priest. he's on a first name basis with the attorney general. he's kind of (at first) an absent father. he's a single mother of 6. he killed a man with his bare hands. he's so unbelievably gentle. he’s a white guy in a basic ass suit. he serves unprecedented levels of cunt.

what i keep coming back to is how much he cares. he cares about victims, he cares about unsubs (the ones that had justifiable reasons for being the way they are), more than anything he cares about his team.

the lengths he goes to to protect them or even just let them know he's there for them. he doesn't raise his voice, even when he's furious and when they lash out at him, he just absorbs it. aaaaaaugh. even roy, who hates his guts, he still cares about and still tries to make nice with for the sake of his son still having a grandparent in his life.

long story short i love aaron hotchner for all of his fucked up ways, big wet eyes, and self sacrificing demeanor.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

am i insane for saying the whole team? poly bau has a special place in my heart. i think he should get to have several boyfriends and several girlfriends. and his boyfriends are boyfriends and his girlfriends are girlfriends and they're all just happy.

hotch x happiness thats actually my favorite ship.

i mainly go for hotchgan, though, they make me want to rip my hair out. their push and pull, their similarities, hotch's head vs morgan's heart. kill me please.

i feel like him and rossi couldve also had a thing back in the preshow days. they give The Subway by chappell roan when he comes back in season three there is nothing casual about them.

hotchley before the divorce was so sweet :( i have such mixed feelings though because i can see how both of them would be frustrated with the other.

john blackwolf gets to be here as a treat because i think they would be absolutely destroy a buddy cop comedy thats actually a slowburn enemies to lovers. im aware this is just the plot of The Tribe.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

jessica brooks. im being so serious she stepped up in a way that very few others did. her offering to look after jack after hailey dies, staying with him when hotch gets called away, defending him against roy. also their banter is wonderful they r sooo siblings to me.

him and garcia are a very close second. obviously her and morgan are It but we gotta start putting some respect on him and garcia because

“i know you see the best in people, and i’d never want you to change that”

and the way she stayed with him when he collapsed in s9 aaarggh.

also hotchniss but as a wlw/bisexual friendship. they both agree that hotch has awful taste in men and that emily is a useless lesbian.

My unpopular opinion about this character

i mentioned this in someone else’s ask about unpopular HCs but i dont think he’s this #daddydom character in bed that people write him as. (disclaimer, headcanons are headcanons and im not bashing them, this is just what i think)

i can see him being dominant in bed (tho im a sub!hotch truther) but i dont think he’d go in for sadism or degrading or anything like that. given his childhood abuse, i cant imagine he’d enjoy hitting his partner or making them cry (even if it is consensual). in the show, he's very overtly gentle, especially with the people he loves.

i also dont think he’d enjoy a big age gap relationship with a subordinate either (i also see this being floated around). my man is a stickler for the rules and if theres a fraternization policy, i doubt he’d break it. im aware i sound like a massive hypocrite bc i ship him w the team but im mainly talking about x reader pairings here.

i was actually gonna put a different headcanon here but i saw a stepdad!hotch x reader fic and i,,, just,,, no. again write whatever you want but he Would Not Fucking Do That lmao.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

PISSED BEYOND BELIEF WE NEVER GOT AN “AARON” EPISODE

i guess 100 was kind of in the same vein but Reid got both “Revelations” and “Spencer” so i think we deserved an “Aaron”

for the love of god expand on his backstory. he was sent off to boarding school, he was a lawyer, a federal prosecutor, he was on SWAT, he's an accomplished sniper, he was with the BAU for something like 8 years before the show started i think. where is he finding the time for this?

[octuscle]

The bros at my work have always been dicks to me, calling me stupid and whatever, and recently they've been whispering and grinning at each other when I'm around.

I just found a note saying "Grunt, white boy" in my locker, what does it mean?

Aside from the note, you notice the smell in the locker. But is anything different? The astrophotographs are on the door, your shirts are neatly stacked in case you need a fresh one, no, everything else is the same as it always is. "Grunt, white boy. A bit silly to put something like that in the locker of an Indian-born IT administrator. You make a note in your remarkable to install a security system for your locker.

Some joker also changed your favorites list in the browser. What are you interested in protein powder stores? Or porn sites. If they are porn sites. At least they show pretty naked pretty muscular fellows. Fuck, why does your dick jump at that? Okay, these fellows are really hot! You don't realize how long you've been surfing the NSFW pages until a colleague calls you and asks if you'd like a coffee for breakfast. Shit, you've been looking at bodybuilders for over an hour. And on the side, you bought over $200.00 worth of supplements.

Your colleague says at breakfast that the radical buzzcut suits you. A bit unusual, but suits you. Emphasizes your bull neck. You shovel in the liter of low-fat curd cheese with protein powder that was in your compartment in the refrigerator and nod. Tell your pal something about your training and nutrition plan. He looks at you a bit uncomprehendingly and asks if you want to watch the transit of Venus together with your telescope tonight. You laugh and say that you don't stalk bitches. But with the hot Latino stud from across the street, you're in.

Back at your desk, you're a little unfocused. Taking care of your to-do list is really hard for you. You haven't really accomplished anything yet. But you take your lunch break a little earlier than usual. You get your gym bag out of your locker and take the subway to the gym. Lifting iron will bring you back to the right thoughts.

Yes, you've overstayed your one-hour lunch break a bit. Your boss calls you on your cell phone and tells you to get your ass to the company, there are problems at the wastewater treatment plant. Of course. Always at the squats. You don't bother to shower and change. Wastewater treatment plant doesn't sound like it's a white collar job. So get in your pick-up truck, head to the company, get to your locker and get into your janitorial overalls. And then see where the problem is. Fuck, you literally have to go knee-deep into the shit. So once again the rubber fishing pants over your clothes. The long gloves are helpful, you don't need a gas mask anymore. The other colleagues are wimps, but you grew up on a farm in the Midwest, you are used to slurry and pigsties. And with a well-aimed grip in the shit, you've also solved the problem.

Your cell phone rings again, you take off your right glove and answer it. One of the trucks won't start. You are really the handyman around here. To avoid making a big mess, you walk around the outside of the building. Nevertheless, the people you pass hold their noses. Idiots! Yes, you stink of sweat and feces. But someone has to do the dirty work. The nice thing is that everyone still stares at you. It's clear, in your work clothes your big muscles come out even better. The next tie-wearer who stares at you, you grunt like a pig. Come on, it's true! You're not an animal in the zoo here!

Nevertheless, the colleagues in the car shed refuse to repair the truck with you. First you have to wash yourself. If they want to, let them get a hose. That's how you did it on the farm, too. You have no problem with that…

[r0-boat]

Some SFW headcannons if that's ok with you. Can we get some headcannons about Dad Submas with their kiddo (whether separate or a poly s/o au is both fine)?

Holy fuck yes sir(gender neutral) been waiting for this shit

Submas as the fathers of your child/children

Ingo

Ingo has always dreamed of having a family despite that permanent frown on his face being quite menacing to the children. He was pretty fond of kids. Always very gentle and patient. Holding his kid in his arms for the first time, he shakes, afraid he might hurt him or scare him. But who could ever be scared of that soft kitten smile? His heartwarming, when his child looks, sees him, and giggles.

His child is a precious treasure, and their happiness is Ingo's number one priority. Yes, Ingo may or may not have spoiled them a few times but seeing them so happy warms his heart every time.

Like any good parent, Ingo values his child's safety he's a Subway boss safety is part of the job; of course, safety is an important part of his parenting. And it is the same with Emmet. They both agree that their child must know about safety.

Ingo is a first-time father. He doesn't mean to be bad, but of course, some parents make their own mistakes. As their child grows older, Ingo seems to have a problem where he still sees his child as his sweet baby, and sometimes he gets a little protective because it's bittersweet when a parent sees their child grow up. Eventually, he does accept that his child is growing up, and sometimes he won't be there to protect them, but he'll make it known that he'll always be there for them.

I can already feel that poor kid's embarrassment when Ingo screams their names during assemblies every time they get a reward or their name called for one.

He's always having a conversation with his child, even if it's just babbling. He would be having a fake argument with his toddler.

Emmet

Emmet is the for-your-own-good type. He's a serious parent, but he is not unfair; rules are there for a reason and are very important, and he'll make sure that his child knows. He ensures that he teaches his child that actions have consequences; good behavior gets rewarded while bad behavior is punished. ( though not every situation is black and white like that.)

If his child ever asks why for anything, he will explain clearly and calmly. Rip for their belief in Santa when they inevitably ask their father.

Emmet takes safety very seriously, and Emmet can be a little bit of a mother hen. He just doesn't want anything to happen to his child as their parent and a Subway boss; it is their job to protect them.

No parent is perfect; Emmet struggles with personal space and privacy issues. He's always had this. He himself is not really a private person. He says what he says, and he means what he says. It might sound mean, but he'll say it anyway. And the lousy habit is from expecting everyone else to be like that, especially people who are closer to him. He wants his child to be open and honest with him at all times, and he wants to know what's happening in their day-to-day life even though they don't want to tell him. And I can see him getting a little antsy when someone won't tell him or they are hiding something from him. It's something that he always struggled with.

If his child ever gives him a logical argument on why he's wrong when he says no to something he will just freeze and think about it for a few seconds then just say "Ok, verrry fair... carry on."

Emmett gets obsessed with little baby onesies and baby clothes "look!! a little Joltik Halloween costume ah! So verrry cute!"

Ingo x parent!reader x Emmet

( the brothers are sharing one love interest no incest)

Usually, they're pretty good at getting along when it comes to Parenting, but sometimes their different parenting methods clash between two. Usually, they would ask you for advice after that or come to a fair agreement.

If they have twins, they can't be happier. Ingo would bring it up constantly, and Emmet would immediately start picking one color for each twin.

When they come home from Gear Station is usually your time off. They make sure you get plenty of rest because they know how tired you would be after taking care of your children all day.

Emmet would let his child hold a Joltik for the first time.

Ingo would give them a Litwick night light.

When the twins are together, they will always be excited to take their children for hikes or go places to have fun, like parks. We're walking around the amusement park or just seeing Aunt Elesa while you take a rest.

The first thing they do when they realize they are becoming fathers, is cram their minds with as much parenting knowledge as possible they're both excited and scared and praying they'll be prepared enough to deal with a kid.

Soon enough, you'll find them both asleep on top of a pile of notes next to another pile of parenting 101 books.

[vashtijoy]

thank you for such a comprehensive answer! does make me wonder though — the game clearly has no qualms with saying that akechi did kill people directly and did cause deaths indirectly (e.g. the bus incident explicitly stated to have caused fatalities). so why on earth does p5 say the subway train derailment caused no deaths?? this is probably a very weird detail to zero in, but i feel like a heavier train in an enclosed space carrying more people than a bus is much more dangerous. ngl it broke my immersion on my first playthrough a little lol

I know what you mean, lol. Tbh, Akechi is obviously intended to be sympathetic—to be the worst case example of what happens when a kid is exploited by rotten adults and has nobody to help them.

This is why there are so many parallels between his tragic backstory and the stories of a lot of the PTs—he has Futaba's abusive family background, Ryuji's single mom, Yusuke's orphanhood and exploitative father figure, Haru's terrible father, and I'm sure there's something there for Makoto as well.

This is why, at the end of the engine room, he's met not with condemnation but with grace and understanding. This is why, though he does feel sorry for himself at the end and mourn what he's lost, he doesn't squirm and beg and justify himself like the earlier palace bosses—with the exception of Sae. This is why he gets a dramatic self-sacrifice and gets to come back as an antihero, who goes all-out to save the world at the cost of his life in passing, because it's in his personal interests to do so. Akechi is intended to have been sinned against as much, or more, than he has sinned.

At the end of the day, Akechi is a Phantom Thief, even though he's not really on the team, doesn't align with their motives, and almost nobody really likes him—just like them, he's a kid who was placed in an impossible situation, and they all get that. Even while they understand the reality of who he is and what he's done.

This raises the complicated "is he a victim" question again, of course, and the reality is that he's both a victim and perpetrator—like, of course, most criminals. Akechi isn't special. His backstory lets us understand what he's done; it doesn't undo it—and he knows that.

So what's going on, if I can go all Doylian for a second, is that there's an attempt to soft-soap the reality of what Akechi does—to keep him sympathetic. He doesn't shoot people in real life, for instance (with two notable attempted exceptions)—he gives them "mental shutdowns", giving him a layer of insulation from not only the physical reality of murder, but the moral reality of it.

Like the moment he sees Futaba unexpectedly in Leblanc, and ends up chattering oh shit, you're Wakaba Isshiki's— Like the moment on 10/11 that he walks up to Sae to see what she has on her laptop, and it's the Okumura death video, and he nearly vomits; he claps a hand over his eyes, and only then moves it to cover his mouth.

This is the reason he's so visibly unsettled a lot of the time in the interrogation room, why he stares at that dead guard wide-eyed for so long, and stares at dead "Joker" for so long during that cutaway to Sojiro that the gun stops smoking. He is—and we are—almost always insulated from the reality of his acts. tl;dr: you aren't meant to have to think too much about what it means that the pretty boy is a murderer and terrorist, if you don't want to. And that's fine! There is no wrong way to understand the game, no wrong way to play. A huge part of interpreting a work of fiction is what we bring to it ourselves.

But if you want to dig into that reality, it is there to be found. The fact that psychotic breakdowns obviously can be fatal, that Akechi performs them for Shido from the start, from two years before canon. That he performs so many of them that he becomes a detective, to make sure they're properly "cleaned up" himself. The fact that he makes two of the Phantom Thieves orphans. That Shido considers "proper use of the Metaverse" to be eliminating those in his way. That he sells Akechi's services to anyone suitably wealthy and controllable he can find. That, at the start of the game, all of Tokyo is terrified of this plague of accidents, of psychotic breakdowns, and that, per Sae, the incidents have been going on at least since Wakaba Isshiki died—two years before canon.

You also have things like the fact that he clearly negotiates what he does, as you can see in the post-interrogation room conversations with Shido—he can talk his way out of kill orders, or postpone them, as long as he doesn't push it, and he does this. There's no reason to think this isn't part of their dynamic all along. Shido manipulates Akechi with praise, sure, but Akechi also manipulates Shido as much as he can get away with.

There's also the SIU Director, on 7/10, complaining about how "he" (Akechi) is insufficiently brutal and doesn't come up with usably brutal plans. On the other hand, Akechi will, later, come up with the vicious detail of the plan to murder Joker in the interrogation room; that's his plan. He's told what to do (we join that incriminating phone call conveniently halfway), but he comes up with the details himself. He's on an arc, albeit one that isn't always obvious, and a large part of it is that Joker is slowly driving him out of his mind.

I just think Akechi is way more interesting, and that his manner and behaviour make far more sense, if he has done a lot of these things. The main thing that draws my eye is the visible lack of response he has to the atrocities he causes. Going back to that nice conversation you both have on 7/11, you know what he's almost certainly just done there? He's triggered the Goodness Foods car crash, which the evening news will report takes place at 8am on 7/11.

(and writing about this clarified so many things that it, again, became its own post oops.)

The crash kills four people. By the time you're on the train to school, the news is reporting this. Akechi seems completely fine with it all, better than fine—except there are tiny suggestions of something else, if you squint, something far below the numbness to what he does and what he's become; far below the bright surface. Something that will later be riveted in disbelief to the dead guard on the floor of the interrogation room.

That's interesting.

[idk-i-want-mcl-content]

in other news, i was waiting in line to buy a subway and started thinking about mcl again (as one does) and I ended up thinking more about how my candy and Jason would interact, and TLDR: it gave me an idea: What if I make my Candy to appear as if, at the start, she would have been a better fit for Goldreamz? Like she acts really cold in a profesional setting because of her bad experiences at EPMC but eventually, she ends up warming up to her coworkers. read below if you'll like to see my candy and her intj shenanigans.

As the player, I find Jason to be a really interesting and entertaining character, I think he's really charming, but if I met him? hell nah, leave me alone Mendal. So, I thought, what about my Candy being annoyed/indifferent at best to him and literally just. completely ignoring him at worst? I imagine the reason why she left EPMC was not because she was dating her boss (for my purposes I'm abandoning that storyline but it's cool) but because her colleagues were extremely unfair to her, and it was not necessarily the work that was exhausting her but more so having to deal with the people around her. I think she has deal plenty with people similar to Jason, in the form of egotistical people who think they are above everyone and if you don't agree then you are a fool. And because of that, when Jason attempts at the start to try and make her play games she's just straight up not buying it. When they met in ep 2 I think she would be polite to him, maybe even thinking that he's going to be a competent competitor BUT the moment he starts bickering with Devon and Roy she would be like no thanks <3 and would resort to appear indifferent to Devon and Roy about the matter, which might not be the best and for Jason, well you know him he wants to get in your mind as quick as possible. But, just because she appears like that doesn't mean her blood isn't boiling and she's just holding herself back to tell Jason to stfu. I think she would tell him to stop interrupting the client and would put emphasis on "we came here for the client, not for you" and of course, Jason would tease as he does in the game telling her "oh, so you are the one in charge now? you should tell the same to your coworkers then, it seems Roy didn't get that memo" (or something like that, I'm not Jason but yk) and Roy wouldn't appreciate that, to say the least. After that, when Jason tells her at the end how sorry he is that he's going to steal this project from them, she'll simply tell him results will tell and I think this indifference is what can make Jason feel annoyed lol. When the event is done and Jason CONTINUES to tell them that their project was not good enough, I'll like for her to tell him something similar to the game. In ep 3 she sees Jason at the mall but just walks past him lol and in ep 4 I think i'm going to make her be like dude, I don't think it's our bussiness to know who Jason sleeps with yk, which will spark a little debate between her and Thomas (he's her crush but they aren't interested in each other at this point, but they are in good terms) AND i think, if Jason hears her and then he continues talking, if it's canon that he gets her phone number, he definitely would start to imply for her to change companies again. And Brune saying "oh wow, what a coincidence that now that she's here, Jason is too. Almost as if he's following her" would NOT help her ass💀💀💀 I think Amanda would be more suspicious of her, and both have a little bit of a strained relationship as coworkers (for now) sooo yk, it's almost as if my candy's on thin ice from the start lol then for ep 5 i feel like they would meet a different side of her (if I end up sticking her in the same position as the canon Candy, which idk, i would like for her to either work on graphic design OR on finances but whatev), in this version I imagine she chose Devon to work with and the others, seeing that Devon is pleased they probably would relax a bit more about her switching companies and be more trusfull of her for ep 6 i want my candy to be with her roommate, I imagine Devenementiel talking about the fair and she's like besties no, I've already have plans with some friends (she does ballet, she's going with those friends + her roommate who is her bestie) BUT, just when she was about to leave with her roommate, Roy saw them and invited them again, which worked. And because she has her best friend here, she feels a little bit more at ease and starts to show her personality a little bit more.

[blaiddraws]

Excuse me for barging into your ask box but... does this mean Elesa isn't a gym leader anymore in Placeholder AU? Or has she never been one? And please tell me she got people who support her. I want to hug her. And if she doesn't want a hug from an internet stranger (which is valid) then I want to give her blankets and soup

ever since the original subway bosses disappeared, (and then [redacted]), the gym leaders have been taking turns subbing in as temporary subway bosses on a sorta rotating roster. Elesa ends up doing it the most out of all of them, partially because she lives in the same city as gear station, and partially because she was really close to them. but she DOES still run her gym, she Is still a gym leader.

[grismavessel]

You know what, it's father's day (pretends like I'm not a whole day late), why not some dad! Ingo and Gris ramblings because I said so!

Ingo

Soccer dad basically. Has snacks hidden in his coat and has a time table of all the things his kids need to be at, where and when and with who. Being on time is being ten minutes early and proper nutrition is the utmost priority for healthy minds!

Overprotective, just a tad. A scrape or bruise? He's in tears as he applies one of everything the first aid kit has to offer. A rude child is bullying them, Ingo places a lifetime ban on the kid's family from the subway lines. (lawful evil)

Chef dad! Teaches them how to make pancakes and basic easy meals for when they wanna make a snack. Unfortunately, they have Gris's awful cooking talent so it's a 50/50 chance their cooking attends end up good or bad.

Gris

Spare the rod, spoil the kid type dad. The kids want a little bit of ice cream before dinner? Done. Ten more minutes to play before they go to bed? Done. Sneaking them pokeballs before their ten to catch and train pokemon? Done and Done! (Ingo slightly encouraged the last part)

Overprotective, but in a fight another parent type way. Some brat's being mean to their kids? That kid's up in a tree now like a scared cat. A karen mom is hogging the playground? Hope she likes a keyed mini van. Will commit arson in the name of their kids. (totally not a bad influence at all.) (chaotic good)

Street smart dad. Teach the kids how to hop fences just in case they need to run from a pokemon or something. Teaches them competitive strategies to make them the overlordes of the local pokemon battles. Teaching them the ways of team skull that were actually beneficial and none of the law breaking ones mostly >:)

Stylish Dad. Pulling up to the parent teacher conferences in the most punk spikes and studs and liberty spikes.

Together

Those lovey dovey parents you see in movies where they'll kiss and their kids get grossed out because ew they're in love yuck

Very responsible! Despite each other's messes and flaws together they make a good team. Ingo is slightly strict and a little straight arrow, Gris is more relaxed and bends the rules a bit. Gris knows priorities but doesn't know the best execution but Ingo knows how to organize best. Two wacky braincells working together to be a high function single brain cell!

Very caring and unconditionally loving. Gris had a hard time growing up and Ingo didn't fit in quite either due to his mannerisms so they know the struggles of a kid who's a little different than the rest. They know when to give space and when the kids need attention, and how to make them feel wanted and loved.

Bonus: Uncle Emmet and Aunty Elesa

Emmet heavily encourages the kids pursuit in pokemon train and handle and also reinforces the idea of 'fuck around and find out' mentality when it comes to rule following and ruler breakers.

Elesa spoils the kids like no other. #1 gift giver for Christmas and birthdays. They're getting the newest model trains, the best shoes, they most favorite and expensive snacks! Ingo and Gris can't keep up but if it saves them a little bit of money?

Emmet will inpersinate Ingo when needed. The kids accidental got detention, Emmet calls them out of school to avoid it. They need a forged signature, Emmet's on the job. Need to go watch an R-Rated movie? Hell no Emmet's taking them to the newest pg thomas the train movie isntead.

Elesa babysits with the help of Skyla and it's a total spa day.

Emmet babysits and the kids run a battle tournament in their living for the whole neighborhood.

Bonus bonus:

Imagine it's bring-your-parents-to-school-day and the twins bring in the son of Alola's toughest formerly evil organization who's armored up in a battle jacket and platform docs and also one half of the formidable subway bosses that dresses like an office worker but will mop the floor with you if need be.

[lackuraphi]

Angel wings au)Last Chapter:The rest of the story

A lot of things have happened since then.

(⚠️Caution⚠️)

I used a translator

This is the Fan fiction

It’s different from the original

Pokemon doesn’t appear(Except for one)

All Trainers have angel wings

This AU includes discrimination

Hisui is modern in this au

A lot has changed in the meantime. Now the people of Hisui can go outside as much as they want, Smartphones are now available in Hisui Above all, Rei and Akari became completely guardian angels! BRAVO!

Plus, Skyla woke up again! I apologized as soon as she woke up!

And the most important thing is… We're back to Subway Boss!

—————————————

Adaman and Irida, who subsequently came to check on Ingo's condition, saw Ingo and Emmet sleeping on a hospital bed hugging each other. Alder, seeing the reaction of these leaders, spoke to Adaman and Irida.

"Oh, you guys came just in time. Do you feel anything from this?"

Surprisingly, Irida answered before Adaman (Exactly, she intercepted Adam's words.)

"As expected, the rule that you shouldn't leave Hisui without the leader's permission was a stupid rule." We need to get rid of that rule right now! Why on earth did our grandfathers… former guardian angel leaders come up with these rules with any idea?" "Hey! That's what I was going to say!"

In response, Adaman shouted that he would build a transmission tower in Hisui for quick communication.

"Then I will set up the transmission towers in Hisui! With the aim of getting in touch faster and faster!" "But… do you know what transmission tower is?" "Hey! Do you think I live in the countryside?! Well, this is countryside, so it's not wrong.. But I know what a transmission tower is! These are the pylons we saw when we went to Unova before! The smartphone works well because of the pylons! Shouldn't we build pylons all over Hisui like that?" "How are we going to set them up?" "Well, it'll work out somehow!"

And Adam's pledge was eventually realized in the near future, with several engineers coming from Sinnoh.

Anyway, back to the point, Hisui's angels are finally able to get out of Hisui without permission. Which meant that guardian angels from regions other than Hisui, like Rei and Ingo, can now go home at will.

"It's really good for you, Rei! Now you can go back to your hometown as you please!"

However, Rei reacted indifferently.

"Well, I don't really want to go back to my hometown…" "What do you mean?" "Where I used to live, I was an orphan with no presence… "I want to use Hisui's Jubilife Village as my hometown rather than living in a hometown that doesn't feel like my hometown." "You were banished from Jubilife Village once.. are you okay?"

Rei smiled at Akari and said.

"It was because of Team Plasma, Commander Kamado and Cyllene were forced to give me those orders to protect the villagers, right? I understand them now. And I accepted their apology a few days ago."

And in the near future, Rei and Akari, who were trained in Galaxies as Apprenticeships, were finally officially recognized as guardian angels.

Unusually, however, they decided to stay in Galaxies and teach Apprenticeships, not belong to Diamonds or Pearls.

"I want to teach Apprenticeships like Ingo. Heh heh…" "And since we've been a part of Galaxies for a long time, we're attached to it."

Fortunately, Adaman and Irida allowed this.

Just to add, Volo is still working part-time at the Ginkgo Convenience Store.

"Haam~! I want the monster to show up and strike down it all.. especially this boring convenience store.. But if that monster strikes down everything, the residents will ask me to compensate for everything.. Ugh! Just thinking about it makes me dizzy! This is why monsters exist only in imagination..!"

But if there's a difference from the old days, he's no longer hiding his black wings. (Ginter, the manager, doesn't seem to care much about it.)

"Volo!" "Huh? Rei! Long time no see! And Ingo and his twin brother!"

So what is the situation outside Hisui?

First of all, according to N's comment, Ghetsis left for the distance with Shadow Triads. He left to break into Hisui, the headquarters of the guardian angels, to avenge himself and other guardian angels who obstructed Team Plasma

'Disgusting guardian angels…! I'll definitely get my revenge…!!!'

But even if Ghetsis were to break into Hisui, Ghetsis's revenge would not succeed Rather, he will be immediately overpowered by the guardian angels and his revenge will end in vain.

Hilda, who was caught up in the Black Angel raid several times, resumed her journey alone shortly after the incident. Bianca and Cheren began to study for their dreams, and Hilda went on a journey alone.

"I'd travel all over Unova on my own! Even for Bianca and Cheren!"

Hilda, who was traveling again like that, met a green-haired black angel in front of a Ferris wheel in Nimbasa City one day

"Is that a black angel..?!"

When the black angel saw Hilda, he smiled and talked to her.

"Hi. Nice to meet you. My name is N. I'm going on a trip to find out the truth I don't know. You're going on a trip like me, aren't you?"

And when N reached out to Hilda, she panicked for a moment and then grabbed N's hand.

"I'm Hilda. And yes, I'm also going on a trip."

Since then, N and Hilda have more frequent encounters with each other, and that's how they became close friends.

Skyla, who had been unconscious for a long time, finally opened her eyes.

"….." "Skyla!!!!!" "Skyla!!!" "Elesa… Ingo… and…."

What Skyla saw was Elesa and Ingo And it was Emmet, holding a bouquet full of purple hyacinths that meant sorry.

"………" "Emmet…"

Emmet said to Skyla, holding out a bouquet of flowers

"Skyla… I was so sorry… I was the one who attacked you delivering… So Skyla… I'm really, really sorry… You know, Skyla, you don't have to forgive me… Because I was the one who hurt you so much…"

Skyla replied to Emmet with a smile.

"Don't worry Emmet… I'm okay now."

Rumors have it that Emmet has turned himself in to the police.

"Are you sure you're okay?" "Yup… I think it would be comfortable for me to admit my guilt and be punished…" "We could break up again! And maybe we'll never see each other forever!" "Then you can come to visit me every day Now you can go outside Hisui as you please." "Emmet…"

And he was put on trial, and no matter how much Emmet turned himself in, all of the misdeeds he had committed as Team Plasma were not absent, so his conviction was inevitable, and as a result of the trial, Emmet went to prison.

"You come to visit me every day? You promised me!" "Yes! I will come to see you every day!" "sniff… then I'll be back! Ingo…" "sniff.. .See you again! Emmet…"

Fortunately, Emmett was released early as a model prisoner for showing genuine remorse throughout his time in prison.

Also, Ingo's old and small toy train went back to Emmet just like the day they first met in basement as a child.

"This is… what I gave you back before…" "No Emmet. This toy train is yours. I'm here to return it to commemorate your release from prison." "Ingo…Thank you very much…! sniff.."

And finally, Gear Station has two Subway Bosses back.

"I am the Guardian angel and Subway Boss Ingo. And this is my twin brother, Emmet!" "I am Emmet. I am a also Subway Boss."

However, the angels' eyes on the black angels are not good yet, especially because of Team Plasma, the perception of the black angels is even worse, and Emmet's heart, who barely returned, will be hurt again

"Emmet! I will surely protect you!" "Ingo… you're really going to protect me this time, right?" "Of cours Emmet! Because I am your guardian angel!" "Ingo! Thank you so much!" "You're welcome, Emmet."

This time, obviously, Ingo is playing Emmet's guardian angel well, so it didn't happen that Emmet's heart was hurt.

So Ingo and Emmet returned to their happy daily lives.

[hils79]

Hils Watches Goblin - Ep 8

Wow I can't believe I'm halfway through already. I did say I would watch it faster once I was on vacation

Aww she thinks he knocked her away from the sword because he was in pain, not because he's decided he wants to live

I know the answer is probably 'because the sets are really cold' but why does everyone sleep fully clothed in these dramas. You see characters wake up in the morning and they're wearing a hoodie and sweatpants in bed. Maybe I just can't relate because I get really hot when I'm in bed

Yes, please bridal carry him to bed

Okay, that's twice now that the grim reaper has looked at the painting of the woman from Kim Shin's past and it's then cut to Sunny. And he cried the first time he met her and when he looked at the painting. Is the the reincarnation of the woman from the painting? I have no idea what that makes the grim reaper then since he can't remember his past life

Okay, the woman in the painting was Kim Shin's sister. I still have no idea why the grim reaper cried when he saw her. Maybe his past life he was in love with her?

Oh my god I didn't even think of that

I mean that is something siblings would do...

Oh shit what did he do??? Something involving Kim Shin's sister?

Yes, I'm sure a Subway sandwich is just what the man who was about to take his own life needs to feel better

Oh it was so he could give it to his daughter who ran away to come and visit him. I retract my previous sarcasm

Aww she's jealous of herself because she thinks his first love was someone from his past

Well, I guess he just found out that Sunny is Eun Tak's boss

Oh my god he keeps going back and buying chicken even though he's a vegetarian

Kim Shin is jealous because cute baseball boy keep going to the chicken restaurant, Grim Reaper is jealous because he think Eun Tak has been giving cute baseball boy chicken coupons while he's been paying full price each time. They are all so ridiculous I love them

The vision of the accident shocked me, but I had a proper OH SHIT moment at this many grim reapers just calmly sitting waiting for it to happen

Imagine your life involving coming face to face with 20 grim reapers and your reaction just being 'oh there's my bestie!'. Unless she can't see the others?

Even worse than getting stabbed in the first place?

Oh shit was he the king in his past life? He suddenly got pain when Kim Shin painted the king's name. And that whole massacre was a pretty big crime and would explain why he was crying over Kim Shin's sister!

I've been trying to figure out how she relates to all this. Apparently she's God? Or a god at least.

So if Eun Tak pulls out the sword Kim Shin will die, but if she doesn't pull out the sword she will die. Well shit.

Well, I guess she knows now

[grumpy-zane]

(('in which a man adopts a rock' - Firma origins, Ft Archie and Firma

Rocks, they're simple objects made of sediment. Sometimes they grow, but never do they hatch.

Or so Archie thought.

His hand trembled at the sight of the serpent in its shell, its tired eyes bugging out as it yawned. He watched it coil around itself, gripping onto its own body for any sense of heat in his cold house.

Certainly this was a mistake. He thought it was just a cool rock, not an egg! He didn't know how to take care of a snake, let alone any small creature.

"Don't bite me, don't bite me-" Archie leaned back and gently scooped it into his hands. Maybe the pet store would take it? Though, ethically he still wasnt sure if it was the right thing to do anyway all things considered. Reguardless, it seemed happy in his arms for now, and he didn't want to waste any time.

--

"Yeah, okay. Sir, this isn't a snake," the employee lowered her magnifying glass, "thats a serpentine. She's a constrictai, probably got lost somewhere on accident. No worries though, they imprint immediately after hatching so you don't have to worry about her getting confused!"

Archie felt his blood pool at his feet. "Wow, great, thanks for telling me," he mumbled.

"Yah-huh! So just head on down into the subway and follow the sewers to the tomb, its just a bit farther than the museum!" She smiled. "Im sure those serpentine wouldn't turn away one of their own!"

He stumbled out of the store, life flashing before his eyes. What would his coworkers think? What would his boss think? And most importantly, would Dareth ever let him live it down? "Sewer. Right, this is just a biiiig mistake on my part. I just go in and apologize for taking their kid, and then-"

--

"You thief!!" He was accused instantly upon stepping in. A few more serpentine turned heads, and soon enough there was a crowd of angry looking serpentine staring him down.

"I didn't mean to, really! I just, I collect rocks and stuff you see, and I thought she was a rock!" He winced as she wormed her way around his neck.

"Fat chanccce, you probably stole that egg!"

"Thatsss so like humansss, ssstealing what doesn't beling to them!"

"What iss the meaning of thiss?" Skales emerged from the crowd. His red eyes locked onto the vipe before narrowing in on the human before him. "Oh, I see. Came down here to return her to her family I presume?"

Archie rubbed his nuckles, "er, no not that. You see she hatched in my care and- well first off I didn't know it was an egg-"

The staff clanked on the brick street, "Then there iss nothing we can do. Ssshe is yourss."

Skales turned around and began slithering away. In a panic of realization, he dove to hault him, "And you think I just came down for that? I don't know how to raise one of your own, let alone one of mine! I-is there any books or, any help I can get??"

Skales sighed and rolled his head, "Acidicus!"

--

With several heavy books in hand, and some much needed grocceries, he stumbled into his home. By now, the serpentine was gently wound around his neck, sleeping. Who knew when she would wake up and ask for more food? He certainly didn't appreciate the two sets of bite marks on his jaw already.

Archie cleared some of the more precious rocks out of his desert atrium display and rearranged the rest to accommodate her better: deeper sand to burrow into, rocks large enough to hide in, around. And under, and a place to bathe beneath a heatlamp.

"You don't even have a name and you're already half of my world-" he spoke to himself as he prepared a recipe for her from out of one of the books. "What should I name you anyway, what's a cool name?"

His mind mulled over various rocks and minerals, bouncing to historical heros and then to plants. There were plenty of cool names from literature, but he knew it wouldn't be cool enough.

He watched her chew away at her meal through the glass, doting the hour. This would be clockwork for him for several weeks, at least thats what one of thr books said, and he didn't want to miss a single interval. "More than half of my world, you're thr whole terra firma all the way down..." Archie mumbled.

She stared at him, chewing with an ever-cheery smile.

"Terra Firma... yeah, that's it. Firma. Firma for short, Terra is just too ordinary." ))

[kharmii]

This Kind of Shit

(Sung to the tune of Blame it by Jamie Foxx) "....Blame it on the ADHD got me acting silly, blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-aspergers. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-aspergers...."

DISCLAIMER: People been telling me that just because I'm into a guy hauling out his huge meaty man-drill to frack for oil in his own twin brother's ass, it means I'm not allowed to criticize other shit. *throws hands up* Excuse me! Last time I checked I'm allowed to do whatever tf I want. It's the internet! I find it offensive that dumb-ass monster-fuckers and abo enthusiasts are allowed to criticize me for enjoying something that is seen as morally reprehensible in the context of it happening irl, and yet I'm not allowed to, say, complain that morbidly obese two-dick werewolf cumflation porn is fucking stupid.

I'm inspired to write some things that a lot of people might find extremely offensive, but I'll put it all under a cut. Read or don't read, idc. First of all, it has been.....what? A week? Two weeks? Every day for however long, the same user keeps 'liking' my old dark!fic doujin post from like a year ago. -Not sure if it's a glitch, or if the person is making a point of 'unliking' the post, then 're-liking' it every single day, but it has been showing up on my activity every day for weeks.

The person doing it doesn't even post Subway Bosses, or they haven't been recently. They're into a Genshin Impact ship that reminds me of Emmet/Volo because of the coloring. I wish I was into it because the Trainwreckshipping tag is slow lately, possibly because a bunch of crybully antis took a joke ship that a handful of people are into and made it into a moral issue. Emmet wanting to fistfight God and getting Volo instead is ABUSE yo! Now the timid people are afraid to post about it for fear of being *gasp* bad people!

Side note: Some of the people who hate trainwreckshipping are the same people who woobify Volo for supposedly being indigenous coded, like similar to Ainu people. Wrong-o. The Diamond and Pearl Clan people are indigenous coded. Volo is more like an immortal remnant of a forgotten people who worshipped gods millennia ago that nobody modern has heard of. The song Temple of Ekur reminds me of him, like he could be all, "I come from the bloodline of Gilgamesh who was seeded on earth by space aliens!" (Gilgamesh because he traveled to the underworld to retrieve a friend who perished in war whose corpse he callously threw over the edge of a wall during the heat of battle. It's a parallel to Volo going to the distortion world to communicate with Giratina).

Anyway, I made that particular post a year ago when Blankshipping was still fun but just starting to get overwhelmed with doggie-dick mutilation, bad-outcome pron. I was kind of excited about that particular doujin because I hadn't been exposed to a lot of unpleasant content yet, so it was an exciting variety, like oooooooo.....a bit on the dark side! Now lets go back to healthy, feel-good posting because it wears on the soul to constantly wallow in misery and negativity. A year later, and blankshipping is still doggie-dicks and mutilation pron. -Stuff like this:

Side note: Dog-fuckers need to play twincest a lot smoother. I like 'fuck my own brother' smut as much as the next degenerate, but I'm not going to write one guy getting sentimental and romantic about the scent of his own brother's ass, especially since it would smell the same as his own ass because identical twins are genetic copies of the same person. That's why I write poly or fluff with a slight touch of incest. If Emmet was to have a/b/o coded undescended testicles and womb rerouted into his bunghole, it would have to be by choice, the way transgender people mutilate their own genitals irl. Dogs are idiots irl though. A male dog will go crazy over the scent of his own sister's heat and pound incest puppies into her in a hot minute.

-Aaaaaaand that is the crux of all this gross crap in fandom. The worst of it is transgender mutilated genital coded from people who glorify transitioning, even though it's outright hubris for a person to take the perfect body god gave them and butcher it so they end up with a wound that constantly smells of death and feces as their body desperately tries to heal something it sees biologically as an aberration...a wound that needs to heal but for some reason, the trans individual chooses to keep it festering. There's a Twitter showing the grotesque consequences of real people who have mutilated themselves and suffer the consequences in the worst way possible. People need to read this to know what is going on with this horrific trend being pushed in the gay community.

I feel bad for them. They've been tricked into doing something to themselves that is a horror beyond comprehension. Many of them will walk around smelling like rotting corpses who shit themselves before death (not to mention they take hormones they have no business taking that give them symptoms of schizophrenia and bipolar). The people doing these surgeries and/or condoning this culture should be punished severely for these science experiments on humans. History will not look kindly on this. What ever happened to 'trans' people just being cross-dressing perverts with normal genitalia? Why was that so wrong?

Anyway, I think a lot of the creepy gross content in fandom lately is probably trans coded, but in the way that doesn't make it look good.

[jerzwriter]

I hope you're still taking asks for the generator thingy because I come bearing an armful of them:

7 and 10 for Trystan and Carolina

2, 8 for Tobias and Casey

And if it isn't too much 5, 9 for Zoe, Eli and Troy lmaoooo.

Mads - for you - anytime, anyhow! 😊 (Plus like we don't LOVE talking about our blorbos! lol) From this generator.

#7 for Trystan & Carolina

OK, not me dying because TRYSTAN. FOR REAL. How does one say drama queen in Drakovian? 😂😂😂 Oh, Trystan is about the drama. He's happy to bring it on purpose (like creating distractions), but he tends to bring it when it's not intentional too. Meanwhile, poor Carolina is like rolling her eyes in a corner. lol

Carolina will be a drama queen if required (again, to deflect) but in general, she's not too dramatic. That's allll Trystan's. lol

#10 for Trystan & Carolina

They're both New Yorkers... you better believe they do! lol Carolina honestly prefers walking, unless the weather is atrocious or it's really just too far (like her commute from the Bronx to Manhattan for work), she will walk. But she takes the subway, bus, taxis, Ubers, and she'll even rent a Citibike. Trystan, on the other hand, prefers driving (even in NYC traffic). But he'll walk or do all the others, too.

#2 for Tobias & Casey

HA! OK, since I did not have Ethank take the Chief position (he would have been miserable), he remained as Director of DT (which Casey was not yet qualified for). So right now, Tobias & Casey are still in Edenbrook on the DT, reporting to Ethan.

Ethan is one of their best friends, and he's even their daughter's godfather, but at work, it's professional—kind of. Tobias still busts his balls 24/7, and Ethan probably wants to poison him at least ten times a week. But when push comes to shove, they have a good work relationship when it counts. They will but heads. Tobias absolutely lets him know when he thinks he's wrong, but that's what Ethan wants. It's how they push each other toward excellence. In general, Tobias has gotten along with his bosses unless they're total assholes, in which case, he'd probably be moving on. (The man's loaded and talented, no need to tolerate that.)

Casey has a great working relationship with Ethan. She is sort of the envy of the Diagnostic Team (and most of Edenbrook, tbh) because she is the one person who can tell him to fuck himself three ways to Sunday when he's being an asshole, and he will just go, "OK," and stop. (Tobias will use this to his advantage when absolutely necessary! lol) Casey typically gets along with her bosses. She's as charming as Tobias is and not as much of an ass, so she can always make it work.

Both have good relationships with and are liked by most of their co-workers, at least at this stage of the game.

#8 Tobias x Casey

OK. Just bow to the masters because they are the king and queen of flirting. Casey is more subtle, for sure, and unlike Tobias, it's not her "go-to" mode. Tobias doesn't even realize he's flirting at times; it's kind of funny. lol Also, his flirting can sometimes be cheesy as fuck, but since he's handsome and charming, it always works. He could charm the paint off a wall. But Casey's flirting almost never fails.

Tobias lives in that mode; Casey used to do it a lot, not as much since she's with Tobias (but she still flirts with him all the time.)

#5 for Eli, Zoe, and Troy

OK, I think this is relatively low for all of them. Given the life they lead, they have to be ready to go at any moment, and sometimes, a normal sleep schedule just isn't going to happen. Their ideal amount of sleep in a night (if they could be granted a wish), Eli: 7 hours, Zoe: 8 hours, Troy: 10 hours. I think Eli and Zoe can get through a day pretty well if they don't sleep much, but Troy will ABSOLUTELY be looking for sneaking naps in all day. lol

#9 for Eli, Zoe, and Troy

HA! I'm dying. OK

Eli: Hell no. I mean, if Zoe begged, he might do it begrudgingly. Once. He wouldn't be terribly good at it. lol

Zoe: She would, probably does, and is quite good.

Troy: He would, probably does, and is quite good. lol

Thanks so much for the asks, Mads!

[rydiaroads]

Time for destined with you episode 5!

Was something translated weird about his I don't drink thing, I got confused. His family is cursed and he didn't want his dad to yell at him so he didn't drink? Like, they easily get drunk? Whatever. Him getting drunk will probably be a plot point later.

Neither of them seem bothered that she was gonna make another guy fall in love with her.

Ok, him dropping her in the sand is kinda funny.

Ya when are we gonna see red hand again, it's been a bit.

This chicken blood thing is vandalism, wouldn't you call the cops? Freaky.

Why would the fair skin spell melt him a woman? I'm guessing weird translation thing there.

He is being stupid to not tell people close to him he's sick. Very stupid. Though I guess he told his family.

Oh wow I thought that say Harry at first lol, like, why is she throwing a party for a dude named Harry

Wait wait, I literally just rewound that to listen again. Why would the mayor be against them marrying? Also whatever friend tried to call him and warn him what she's doing, I can't tell if that's a good friend thing or a bad friend thing.

I don't really get his parents dynamic. They seem so unhappy. His dad's 'I'm so done with her shit' smile is kinda funny though

So wait are we jumping around in time or is he back with his gf?

Was I supposed to know who that person in the hanbok was?

Oh he thought it was hong jo

Geez, when he's mean he cuts deep.

I mean, staying away from each other makes sense.

Of course she was a rich bitch to hong jo in school. Ugh. Sigh.

And after an hour long break talking to bestie on the phone, I return!

Gong and his boss are kinda fun to watch together, but I also don't care.

I didn't understand their lunch conversation at all. He asked her out to lunch to tell her she wants him? Seemed silly.

Pretty like a funeral wreath. Daaaaaaaamn.

I kinda want the guy she likes to never fall for her. Just for something different. But I bet he will.

So they have, like, no plan to deal with the love spell. I guess I don't know what they would do. She didn't seem to feel bad about it anymore, but he is kinda mean to her too. I dunno, I saw people commenting about how she really should be responsible for what she did, but I'm not sure what that would look like.

Sin yu, this is definitely on the cheating line now, calling girls just to get their voice. I dislike how she changes so much between the two guys though. She seems much more real around sin yu.

It's subway!

Who is this little boy she eating lunch with? What?

I do feel bad for sin yu. I don't like him calling hong jo a knockoff, but I get why it's hard.

I hope this doesn't have a twist where her dad isn't dead. I don't want to go in that direction.

So what stupid shit is his drunk ass gonna get up to. Hmm.

He looks so pathetic.

Grats to jae gyeung for being like 'wtf guys this is cheating'

Don't kiss. This is cheating. Don't kiss. This is not sweet.

I hope they don't kiss. The cut there makes me think they won't.

Despite the cheating I'm still getting sucked into this show. Usually that's a show stopper for me. We'll see if it lasts or if I get frustrated enough to give up.

[thecurioustale]

A Subway Tale

I'll never understand why people call Subway mediocre. It's not. Like, it's objectively not. Doesn't mean you have to personally enjoy their food, but you can't call it mediocre unless you're talking about your personal opinion based on your own palate and taste—which the people who toss these jeers conspicuously and obnoxiously never are.

This is a whole, big ol' meme—part of a larger constellation of affluent liberals making fun of working-class food, especially unusual / standout-ish fast food, like KFC, Arby's, Taco Bell, and of course Subway.

But Subway in particular is really straightforward in ingredient quality. You can't fake a good sandwich. The vegetables are all right there in front of you; you can see them. The sliced whole meat (turkey, ham, beef) is considerably higher-quality compared to store cold cuts unless you go for bespoke brands. The chicken breasts for their oven chicken sandwich tend to be a touch spongy, but are well-seasoned and hold up properly as part of the sandwich. The sauces and condiments have little room for cutting corners. The tuna is real tuna. The bacon is real bacon. The cookies are downright pleasant.

The bread, which is a major focus of criticism, is good bread. You're not fooling anyone with your "It's not real bread" or "Country X has weird health regulations that restrict Subway's bread from being classified as a bread because of its sugar content," or whatever. It's real bread all right. It's pretty technologically sophisticated; you're not apt to cook it at home; but it's still bread. And, far from being "mediocre" because it doesn't conform to some people's expectations for sandwich bread to be heavier or less sweet, the main reason Subway does their bread that was is because that supports the sandwich. Using your own homemade subway rolls would make for a very different experience. I've done it! It would throw all the proportions out of whack; you have to add more toppings, meat, and cheese to make up for the bread being so much heavier and more dominant. The result: a denser, chewier, less-springy sandwich that is much more filling, inch for inch, compared to a Subway sandwich. But "less filling" hardly equals "mediocre," or we'd be calling salads the fakest food of all. The lighter, fluffier preparation of a Subway sandwich offers a textural experience that, again, you are not personally required to like, but which is in no way mediocre.

Where else might we look for mediocrity? Subway has taken some dubious cost-cutting measures over the years, but it's not the sort that would keep you up at night. I was working there in the early 2000s when they abandoned the superior U-cut, which is better for holding a sandwich together and tasting all the ingredients evenly. The side-cut is faster, so that's what we were required to do. And their policy of "three of a given topping per 6 inches unless the customer asks for more," while not unreasonable with large tomato slices, becomes ridiculous in the context of olive slices, and I only did that when the boss was right there, and the customer always asked for more, because if you ask for olives you expect more than three slices (not even whole olives; three olive slices per 6 inches!).

I suppose you could call their cold cut combo sandwich cheap, but it also is cheap, i.e. it's their least-expensive sandwich on the menu aside from the all-veggie one; you're not exposing any secrets by calling it cheap. It's a sandwich for people who want a bologna and salami sandwich—which there's nothing wrong with. And I guess you can make a winning argument that their meatballs are very heavily processed, not so different from the meatballs in, say, a can of Spaghetti-O's. So maybe that's "mediocre"? I dunno, though: Their meatball marinara sandwich is another one of their cheapest sandwiches and was actually my go-to favorite when money was extra tight and I needed to save a buck or two.

I'm poor; I know what mediocre food is. Subway is not it. The first time I ever had a Subway sandwich, at the mall when I was about ten years old or so back in the early '90s, it was the best sandwich I'd ever had in my life. I still remember it to this day. Subway learned long ago the art of how to make a sandwich incredible. In college in the 2000s, their sandwiches were a mainstay in my dangerously-impoverished self's diet. I worked there after college and got free food; Subway is one of the only fast food places where I think I could eat there every day and not get sick of it.

I've been to individually bad Subways before. By far the worst one was off the 10 somewhere in the empty expanses of New Mexico. I didn't get sick from it, but it was really sketchy. And I've heard stories of people having bad experiences there, and at least some of those reports are likely true. (Though likely not all; people often misattribute the causes of food poisoning and often misdiagnose other gastrointestinal issues as "food poisoning" in the first place; I'm convinced this is why "Taco Bell will give you diarrhea" is such a successful meme: No it won't; they'd go out of business if that were true; but what probably is true is a lot of people are unknowingly intolerant to some of their ingredients.) But these isolated cases are not indicative of Subway's policies or their food. Most Subways are franchisee-owned, and there can be variation in quality and cleanliness if compliance enforcement is weak. (At the Subway I worked at, the owner took compliance very seriously, and the regional compliance inspector for Subway was also a real hardass.)

I'm also aware that Subway has financially pressured its franchisees for years, worse and worse, and that this is a key reason that the price of sandwiches has gone up so much. It's possible that some franchisees are trying to cope with these pressures through dishonest and/or disreputable means. The worst thing I can say about the Subway where I worked is that they wouldn't keep enough people on-shift, meaning that we were absolutely swamped during the lunch rush many days. But the owner wanted to save on the money so as not to have superfluous employees on the clock at other hours.

Admittedly, I've only eaten at Subway two or three times since the pandemic. The enormous price increases, coupled with a lack of easy access to Subway locations on my part, serious financial pressures constraining my discretionary spending, and a desire to continue touring independent restaurants in my own that I haven't gotten around to visiting yet, mean that Subway isn't really on my radar most of the time. So maybe they've gone to hell very recently and I just didn't notice.

Much more likely, however, I think, is that this is just one more example of a mean-spirited cultural tendency among some (mostly middle-class and rich liberals, as I mentioned) to make fun of working-class food, i.e. the food that poor people eat. Subway is good food. Maybe it's not to your taste, but that doesn't negate its goodness.

I've had many restaurant deli-style sandwiches over the years, from many independent restaurants! It is certainly possible to do a sandwich that is more "amazing" than Subway. But most indie restaurants actually fall short of it. Grading on a curve, I'd consider subway a B-plus or maybe even an A-minus. Certainly no worse than a straight B.

Maybe it's because I'm poor that I can see through the "Subway is mediocre" lie. I live in a strange reality where I have lifelong exposure both to the world of the peasantry and the world of the well-to-do. I have a lot of familiarity with both paradigms, and enough exposure to each to be able to judge both sides of the "Subway is mediocre equation": I am familiar with fancy, "boutique"-style delis and other places serving up bougie sandwiches; and I am familiar with cheap food.

I dunno why it bugs me. I guess because this meme comes from a place of ill-will. I don't mind jokes and humor that are in good fun, but memes like this are not. They are elitist, and not in a good way. "Oh, look at us, and our $20 dollar sandwiches full of seeds and vinaigrette. Don't we have just the best taste? Aren't we so clever and smart? Those poor fools eating Subway; how do they even look themselves in the mirror?"

That's what it really is: just another case of people situating their own self-worth in places where they really shouldn't.