#i mean this is still the beginning of when my friends truely gave life to their characters

[smellslikechahnspirit]

Introduction to Stray Kids, SKZ

[for my baby-STAY bestie, Nyll]

From what I know personally. Don´t hate me for knowing more about some than others lol. Feel free to comment fun facts about YOUR bias, maybe I´ll add them here!

DISCLAIMER: For anyone reading this, this article is how I preceive the skz members, some of it might be a personal opinion, so might NOT be factual!

STRAY KIDS

Entertainment company: JYP Entertainment. Their debut was on March 25, 2018. They had a survival show a year prior to that. Chris (Bang Chan) is the one who formed the group by himself, which was unusual, since normally the company does that. So if it wasn´t for Chris, the group may have contained completely different people. The company trusted him enough to do so. The group debuted as a group of 9 members but one member had left in 2019 due to personal reasons. (If you want tea about that, text me.)

Fandom name: STAY (August 1st is our bday.)

Members: 8

Hyung line (eldests): Bang Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin.

Maknae line (youngests): Han, Felix, Seungmin, I.N.

Units: 3.

First Unit: 3RACHA: Consists Bang Chan, Changbin and Han. ( The OG unit. This is the unit who creates all their music. Without them the group basically wouldn´t exist. They write, produce, arange and more.) Before making music for SKZ they made music for themselves. You can still listen to those songs on Youtube. That was more rap based.

Second Unit: Dance Racha: Consists Lee Know, Felix and Hyunjin (Since there are 3 members leading in dance. They made a joke to call it a unit, but I feel like it´s a real thing now.)

Third Unit: Vocal Racha: Consists Seungmin and I.N (Same thing here, they are main vocals, that´s why.)

It´s called Racha, because of the sauce, sriracha. Cuz they´re hot.

Current Dorm Arrangement: Dorm 1: Bang Chan & I.N Dorm 2: Lee Know & Han Dorm 3: Changbin & Hyunjin Dorm 4: Seungmin & Felix The 4 dorms are located within 5 minutes walk from each other. 

Mascotte: SKZOO (Let´s see if you can match them to the right member)

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I will introduce the members in age sequence from eldest to youngest. I picked the photos from the ATE album photoshoot. I will type anything that comes to mind. I amazed myself of how much info I know about them. It´s kinda disturbing if you think about it...I need to get a life UWU.

방찬 Bang Chan:

Stage Name: Bang Chan (방찬) Birth Name: Christopher Chahn Bahng Korean Name: Bahng Chan (방찬)

Age: 27 [ October 3rd, 1997 ]

Zodiac Sign: Libra

Height: 171 cm

MBTI Type: ENFJ-T

Nationality: Korean-Australian

Representative Animal: Wolf

Position: Leader, Producer, Vocalist, Dancer, Rapper

Unit: 3RACHA

Instagram: @ gnabnahc

A bit about Chrissy:

As you know, this man is my bias. A bias is what you call a member who is your favorite. So for you that currently is Changbin Chrissy is also my Ult. Ult means Ultimate, as in your fav member, amoungst all the kpop groups you stan.

Chris likes sports and is very athletic. He can do it all.

Strong, fast, smart, sweet, truely kind, determent, ambitious, hard working, shy, empathic, loyal.

If there is one thing that he loves, it´s the ocean. This man is a true aussie and misses his home alot. But he knows what he gave it all up for. Stray kids.

The group he basically created. He was very young when he moved from Australia to Korea to become a trainee at JYP. He trained for 7 years. He had a hard time seeing his other trainee friends come and go, and became a very cold person. Because he bascially protected himself from being hurt like that again. Towards his members he was also very strict and cold in the beginning, since he loved them too much and wanted them all to succeed. He never wanted one of his friends to leave again, so he worked so hard, day and night to make the group as big as it has become today. I personally stanned them since 2017 and I remember him being that way. Everyone was a bit scared of him lol. But he also tried showing lots of love too. Nowadays that coldness is pretty much gone and nothing but love comes from this man. Although he doens´t forget his position as leader.

He takes care of everything regarding the group and is the first one responsable. There is an insane amount of pressure on him, but he always tells us, that he can handle it. He knows himself better then we do, and we have to take his word for it.

Chris loves Pokemon and One Piece a lot. He watches a lot of Anime. He isn´t that good in gaming, from what I´ve heard from the other members. He says otherwise. TFT is his current fav mobile game. He also has been playing Genshin and he said the new character Xilonen is hot. Besides playing games, Chris usually is just working.

He is a very flirty person on Bubble, but he claims he doesn´t know what flirting is.

He can play the guitar and the piano.

He is double jointed.

Favorite song is Rewrite the stars by Zendaya and Zac Efron.

He hates his thin curly hair. He hates his height. He hates his face card. Basically he doesn´t love himself. Which I don´t get, but us stays cannot change his mind.

He used to do Live streams every Sunday. Called Channie´s Room. I have watched them all since 2019 until it ended last year. He quit those AMAZING lives due to unclear reasons, but I have a feeling it had something to do with- (ask me in real life, it´s too controversial to say on here lol.)

His favorite color is blue. Blue, like the ocean.

He has a little brother and sister. He really looks up to his dad. He wants to be like him one day. He has a dog named Berry.

Chris used to swim. And he is still pretty good at it. But he rarely gets the chance to do it anymore. Nowadays he likes to play soccer or as he likes to say, footy.

He is addicted to his phone.

He doesn´t have a favorite food but he likes anything with meat. Especially the lamb ribs his dad makes for him on the bbq. He had a phase that he only ate Vietnamese Pho. He likes gelatto and he likes the flavour pistachio. Does not drink alcohol or coffee.

He barely sleeps, like ever.

He is friends with a lot of famous people, including Ryan Reynolds. He loves the Deadpool movies. But he took note, to never watch it together with STAY again. He did it once, on Christmas...and got shy when the explicit scene came on. Dork.

He is very rich lmao and currently wears a lot of clothes by Fendi. He used to only wear black clothes from head to toe. But this year he has really improved on his style and figuering out what looks good on him.

Thinks it´s funny to eat spicy noodles even though he can´t take the spiciness. Idiot.

He has a candle warmer with the candle Vanilla Creme brulee underneath it from Yankee.

His favorite season is Autumn.

When he was young he had issues with anxiety. He couldn´t even leave his house. He was affraid to talk to people. But he took his mom as an example and started acting the way she did and overcame his fears.

Also in his trainee years, he dealt with depression (Insert the song 42 by 3RACHA.) He sometimes still feels depressed, and overthinks a lot during the night. But he said, he can take it.

His motto: Just enjoy.

I could keep going for like 44482779837383843 more pages about stupid little things I know about this man, but let´s not lmao. I´ll spare you.

Click here to see random Chris moments!

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리노 Lee Know

Stage Name: Lee Know (리노) Birth Name: Lee Min Ho (이민호)

Age: 25 [ October 25th, 1998 ]

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Height: 172 cm

MBTI Type: ISFP

Nationality: Korean

Representative Animal: Rabbit

Position: Dance leader, Dancer, Vocalist, Rapper

Unit: DanceRacha

Instagram: @ t.leeknowsaurus

A bit about Lino:

He used to be a back-up dancer for BTS.

He has 3 cats and is obsessed with them. Sooni, Doongi, and Dori.

He often comes off as a mean person, cause he likes teasing the other members. But he has a heart of gold and would take care of you the best.

He is hubbie material frfr. He can cook really good too!

Afraid of heights.

Has weird dreams.

Doesn´t speak English very well, but he is learning! In English interviews he often seems lost, because he simply is.

In the survival show, he got elleminated. In the end JYP gave him one last chance and he made the final cut.

He can´t actually swim, so in variety shows where they go into the water, he always has a floaty.

His motto: Let’s eat well and live well.

I do know more things, but none that are really important right now.

Click here to see random Lino moments!

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창빈 Changbin

Stage Name: Changbin (창빈) Birth Name: Seo Chang Bin (서창빈)

Age: 25 [ August 11th, 1999 ]

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Height: 167 cm

MBTI Type: ESTP

Nationality: Korean

Representative Animal: Pabbit (Pig & Rabbit)

Position: Rapper, Vocalist, Producer

Unit: 3RACHA

Instagram: @ jutdwae

A bit about Binnie:

Okay so I don´t know a lot about this man.

He loves the gym! He has been working out for years and loves being strong. But he doenst have abs, or so he claims. That´s why he never shows skin on stage. But he said he was working on it!

He is actually really kawaii. He likes pink and such. But in the beginning he was all dark and bad boy vibes. He still claims black is his favorite color.

He likes horror movies.

Girl group dances are his specialty.

Sassy.

His motto: Let’s live with a positive mind, enjoy the life.

Cries on rollarcoasters.

Click here to see random Binnie moments!

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현진 Hyunjin

Stage Name: Hyunjin (현진) Birth Name: Hwang Hyun Jin (황현진) English Name: Sam Hwang

Age: 24 [ March 20th, 2000 ]

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Height: 179 cm

MBTI Type: ESTP

Nationality: Korean

Representative Animal: Ferret

Position: Dancer, Rapper, Vocalist, Visual

Unit: Dance Racha

Instagram: @ hynjinnnn

A bit about Jinnie:

Hyunjin is a great dancer, but also a great painter! He makes amazing paintings and shares them on Bubble and Instagram.

A walking meme.

Dramaqueen.

He lived in Las Vegas for a while as a kid.

Allergic to cat furr.

Almost joined a cult by accident when he first moved to Korea.

He hates onions and eggplant.

Screams loudly and is overall chaotic.

Sleeptalker.

His motto: Let’s try even when you regret it later.

Click here to see random Jinnie moments!

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한 Han

Stage Name: Han (한) Birth Name: Han Ji Sung (한지��) English Name: Peter Han

Age: 24 [ September 14th, 2000 ]

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Height: 169 cm

MBTI Type: ISTP

Nationality: Korean

Representative Animal: Quokka

Position: Rapper, Vocalist, Producer

Unit: 3RACHA

Instagram: @ _doolsetnet

A bit about Hannie:

A complete rockstar.

The first member to be chosen by Chris.

Writes beautiful lyrics.

Likes the color red.

Plays electric guitar live on stage.

He stayed in Malaysia for a while as a teen. That´s why his english is pretty good, but he has a british accent, since that´s how they teach it there.

I don´t remember the story completly correctly, but I feel like I remember him saying that he almost got eaten by a crocodile in Malaysia once. I could be wrong lmao.

Had some issues with anger and anxiety, but is doing well nowadays!

When he lays down he usually falls asleep.

I feel like he is a very emotional person. I feel a strong connection with him since he has been through a lot of the same things as I have. Latety he has been doing well though.

Struggled with panic attacks as well. (Insert my connection to him.)

His motto: This too, shall pass.

Click here to see random Hannie moments!

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필릭스 Felix

Stage Name: Felix (필릭스) Birth Name: Felix Lee (이 필릭스) Korean Name: Lee Yong Bok (이용복)

Age: 24 [ September 15th, 2000 ]

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Height: 171 cm

MBTI Type: ENFJ

Nationality: Korean-Australian

Representative Animal: Chick

Position: Dancer, Rapper, Vocalist

Unit: Dance Racha

Instagram: @ yong.lixx

A bit about Lixxie:

Our second aussie man.

Just like Chris, from Sydney. He must miss his home as well, but talks about it less.

That´s also why Chris and him are so close. Chris said he feels like a brother to him. And he loves talking English with him, so he doesn´t lose his aussie accent. Even though Felix his accent is already much thicker than Chris´s.

An actual nugget. He is so tiny asdfghjkl.

FRECKLES!!!

Fun fact, he was my first bias back in 2017.

He is ambassador for Louis Vuiton.

He is Catholic.

Very flexable.

Felix is a 3rd degree black belt at taekwondo, he won a lot of medals when he was young.

He can make a spot on Mosquito sound.

Blue is his favorite color.

He had to learn Korean within a couple of months, and did it.

He HATES scary stuff.

Chocolate abs.

His hands are very tiny.

He loves doing ASMR.

Baking! He loves baking but especially brownies and cookies.

Build his own PC and Keyboard.

Loves gaming. Obsessed with Genshin these days.

He always gives the other members massages.

He always cheats in every game.

Obsessed with Changbin.

Just like Minho, he got ellimenated in their survival show. In the end he also got a second chance and made the final cut as well.

His motto: Just a little braver.

Click here to see random Lix moments!

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승민 Seungmin

Stage Name: Seungmin (승민) Birth Name: Kim Seung Min (김승민)

Age: 24 [ September 22nd, 2000 ]

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Height: 178 cm

MBTI Type: ISFJ

Nationality: Korean

Representative Animal: Dog

Position: Vocalist

Unit: Vocal Racha

Instagram: @ miniverse.___

A bit about Minnie:

Okay so don´t come at me, but I simply don´t know much about him besides that he is realy sweet and feels betrayed fast is the members prank him. But he will return the favour. He is a menace.

He went to the same high school as Chris.

He loves singing covers.

I also remember something between him and baseball, he liked playing.

His motto: Today you spent in vain is the day as tomorrow someone who passed away really wants to live through.

Click here to see random Min moments!

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아이엔 I.N

Stage Name: I.N (아이엔) Birth Name: Yang Jeong In (양정인)

Age: 23 [ February 8th, 2001 ]

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Height: 172 cm

MBTI Type: INFJ

Nationality: Korean

Representative Animal: Fennec Fox

Position: Vocalist, Maknae (Maknae means youngest)

Unit: Vocal Racha

Instagram: @ i.2.n.8

A bit about Innie:

Same here, I don´t know too much about our little Maknae. And when I say little, I mean not at all little, actually. This tiny nugget really grew up in front of our eyes, and is now a man.

Huge hands.

Litterly has one of the purest hearts.

Has the sweetest softest smile and voice.

During the survival show he got really insecure and was worried he would be ´´poison´´ to the group.

I.N is a Catholic.

He is known to be one of the cleanest members.

His motto: Let’s have a good time!

Click here to see random Ayen moments!

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Sorry if I didn´t write as much for all of them. I love ALL members equally. But I just know my biasses better than others. Hope you enjoyed babes! I want you to know that I appreciate it a lot that you listen and watch the content they make, because you know how much I love and care about these men. For any other people who might be reading this...hi :)

Credits of videos and photos go to the op

[zailyn26]

The Torture fic

also known as: The begining of all plot points and character development

TW: mild torture, graphic description (if explaining what happened counts, no actual description of injury from the methods or specific methods per se) Rough recovery, drug abuse, trauma, angst. kinda sweet and sour tbh

also this was suppose to be in my side blog but whatevs roit ? i'll just reblog myself that aint weird

>>>>>>>>>

Capturing the lot of us was never a problem. we were all capable enough to defeat nearly an army alone, what could a small group do ?

turns out, underestimating an adversary we knew nothing about brought about our downfall.

Zailyn, Joanna and I were captured separately, quick and quiet, no one knew anything had happened until Joan was unable to perform her morning duties and was found missing. What with her being the only one to actually go outside everyday.

They had taken you to somewhere you didnt know about. all kept in the same facility, but each area was specific to exploit our weaknesses. I was kept in a sealed room void of any moisture, with barely enough oxygen filtered through to keep me from fainting much less to create water. All those who attended me were golems, no flowing blood to speak of. Though breathing was arduous for me, I suffered through watching their treatment of Joan and Zai. Constantly at war on whether to use their blood to escape, possibly killing them, or just to succumb to the fact that I was going to be tortured.

Joanna, the most human of us, was beaten daily to prevent her from gaining strength, meals only given once every two days, and a half cup of water to last her three. after a while , we couldnt even sign at each other.

Nat was kept sealed like me. Only I knew she was breathing something other than air. her hands were caged in wrought iron gloves, fingers unable to cast anything. Not that it mattered. she couldnt form a single coherent thought. drugged up to the high heavens.

everyday we had to watch as the others were tortured infront of us. Screams of help and mercy reverberated in our brains so much we could hear them in our sleep. Joe probably had every bone broken, set to heal up, then broken again.

Zai had doctors injecting her with experimental magic concoctions, zapped til she forgot herself sometimes.

and I- golems would beat me. Homunculi would come in and torture me. I dont know how i survived without water. It felt like we were there for months. It seemed impossible for anyone to find us. Eren was gone, Everything was so bright there werent any shadows. Nat had a room with bright blinding light in all corners. I wouldnt doubt that the clear glass that we could see her though was mirrored just to torture her eyes more.

when they left us to recover, we tapped on our walls, speaking in morse. just constant ' are you ok?'s and 'hang in there's and 'your doing great's

But those were few and far between. every after session they would stuff us with ambrosia til we were burning up inside.

I saved every breath and pray that they hadnt gotten anyone else.

------------------------------------------

else where Anabiel and Matt were frantic. No one had seen any of you in three weeks. there was no sign of struggle. No indication of foul play. You had thought they left for an emergency and forgot to leave a note. But Zailyn would have sent a quick message and now her familiar was clearly stressed and would refuse to let either of you rest til you found everyone.

It wasnt until a tall lithe man burst through a tree in your search baring news. speaking of the Roman daughter and her companions trapped somewhere they cannot escape. He spoke of how earthen spirits came to him to gossip about a beached water-child and her posey were screaming up a dissonant storm in the belly of the forsaken grounds.

He lead you to where they said you were but could not go farther, something about being bound to duty and such and such.

when you saw the state they were in, well, safe to say none but the five of you walked away that day.

----------------------------------------

The issue of recovery is another discussion entirely. the lot of us were placed in the ICU for numerous injuries, Joanna had to recover from her internal and external injuries; Zailyn had to have all the drugs flushed from her system which led to several close calls. they werent really sure they even got everything out, some early doses already did damage to her systems. a CT scan showed just how close she was from having her brain fried. And somehow I was left with a little mix of both.

This kind of cemented the need for weekly slumber parties, mostly because no one could really sleep without the other anymore. The lithe Man from the forrest shows up from time to time to take care of Zai's cat/child(?) she calls her her magic fairy child and not human child since she didnt technically go around for nine months bloated like a balloon. But whatever still her kid.

Matt finally talked to Zailyn about how he felt so theres that. But repercussions of the trauma still showed. None of us could stomach ambrosia anymore. Zai lost the ability to feel for magic, she says is because her barrier is cranked up to eleven for the foreseeable future, blocking nearly everything. No one has been able to physically touch her other than the god Apollo , her parents and the rest of us. Add that to sensitive eyesight she now cannot leave the safety of Matts home, most of her belongings moved to the ground floor. She says shes going to burn down her house one day.

Joann's nerves were shot, unable to feel anything. Apollo could have fixed her but the extent of her injuries would have left her with chronic pain so horrible it would have been mercy to just end her. Ana had begged otherwise, and apollo could not refuse the blessed one. Luna now goes everywhere with Joan, in both forms- to look out for her and make sure she knows when to stop training since 'pushing til it hurts too much' doesnt work anymore. Luna is now attached to her aunt who acts like wonder woman.

I had minor brain damage, so I had lapses in memory, and it showed in my speech pattern, simple words more often than not eluded me. writing is easier now though. but somehow between my brain and my tongue words just seem to get lost.

I spend most of my days in Eron's room at my home. being too far from water of any kind now fills me with anxiety.

Ana and Matt now often leave to hunt down the people who did this to us. Zailyn, Joanna and I are now unable to step foot outside the camp.

[washymylifeaway]

SunaOsa fanfic recs: valentines edition~~

SunaOsa is one of my all time favorite ships and this past month, there has been/was an exchange going on between writers (here is the link) and artists (separately) and because I don’t have a life (or maybe it’s just that SunaOsa is my life LOL), I’m here to tell you some of my favorite fics from the pile :D However, as much as I love a ship, sometimes fluff is too asajndajnd so mind you there will probably be a lot of good fics missing just cause I couldn’t get myself to read more fluff (or angst) LOL (IM SORRY but sometimes I also just can’t motivate myself to read a fic no matter how good it looks OOPS).

As always, please check warning and tags before reading any of these fics, and take care of yourselves!!!!

In no particular order (jk the order is last updated haha) tho my favorites will have *** next to them :)

***glass stained black by unrequitedangst (E) 31k // Mafia AU’s are some of my favorite kinds of fics, and this one did not disappoint! The character development of Osamu is really legit and despite being mafia, it’s not that heavy or angst of a fic (but you should still definitely read tags and warnings first). It’s an Osamu heavy fic, and if you’re into reading him being stupid, go right ahead LOL.

redux by catalysis (T) 2.3k // ngl I hate break-up fics with a passion truely (when you can’t handle fluff or angst what to do) but I liked the concept for this one hehe (so I made myself suffer LOL). It was short, but cute !!! and the unspoken words really hit me in the FEELS (so what I’m dramatic fight me LOL).

Impropriety by DeathBelle (T) 5.7k // royalty~ I love the banter between them in this fic and we DO stan respectful Osamu yes we do <33333 The relationships between not only SunaOsa but SunaAtsu (because even though it isn’t really SunaAtsu best friend agenda, I can delude myself into think it is okay :/) are done so well and so nice he’s mean Osamu is best Osamu.

***what are you waiting for? by Slumber (T) 3.7k // MIGHT BE MY FAV FIC FROM THIS EXCHANGE!!! It made me cackle and I love how they learn new things about each other!!!! Like the development is so good and Suna is really doing the MOST!! Also, I love recursive endings AHHHHHH!

agape by sketchedsmiles (T) 11.7k // soulmates, then they were SOULMATES! (ik that’s not how it goes but pls just humor me LOL) This fic really depicted Osamu’s insecurities/internal turmoil/overthinking really well and the realization he has vs Suna’s AHJAFKASFJ. I love confident Suna.

fireside by tartaglia (starkartifices) (T) 3.6k // we do love the subtle flirt flirt don’t we hehe ;) It’s short, it’s fluff, and it’s funny - what more could you ask for? Also whats a vigilante fic if there isn’t at least one pun about being a vigilante LOL.

Over and Over Again by tookumade (G) 6.4k // I would like to order one reassuring, reliable Miya Osamu for myself please and thank you :((( The way the relationship is so GOOD like both Suna and Osamu pick each other up and they know the other has their back ajfhkajdfl. I would purchase all the onigiri with the deal Suna was proposing ;) Onigirintarou.

from here to eternity by TheGlovedArtist (T) 6.6k // I for one am a big fan of mythology and stuff (heroes of olympus but like IDR any of the plot LOL) so of course I read this fic. The snark appearances of Sakusa and Komori gave me LIFE and the difference in descriptions from Astumu and Kita cracked me up. This is another respectful Osamu fic (yes I love these) and in this one it was a ‘I save you as much as you save me’ type beat LOL. Gotta love rings.

***Subtle Inarizaki Dating by sifuhotman (T) 15.2k // THIS ONE. Even if you don’t read the whole thing, I beg of you, please, I AM ON MY KNEES, read the SID for Astumu. It is worth the loss of all your brain calls I guarantee it. It made me giggle so freakin much. Suna might be an A-Hole but he’s OUR A-Hole <3

Forever Begins with 8 Seconds by subtlehues (T) 3.9k // FLUFF hehe, I love their dynamic in this one it’s very good and cute and everything great! Also, I am all for the head cannon that Suna cannot cook, yes pls. Also SUPERPOWERS whooooooooh.

***try again, and again, and again by rosegoldwriting (T) 2.6k // SOULMATES! If you ever wanted a specific soulmate AU! for SunaOsa look no further, it probably comes out LOL. I love this concept of them just being like ‘WTF’ everyday, it gives me life. Also, count how many soulmate AU’s you recognized because I just thought about it and I think it’d be fun LOL. (I went back and I think 11 but I’m not sure LOL)

let us burn by SilverMoonT (G) 13.5k // I am always up for a nice vampire Osamu and witch Suna (which believe it or not, is my second one because I read the other one by this writer LOL) This one is more Suna POV and it really goes into his fears and desires, and I like the way Osamu pushes him to live more freely.

***reasons to microwave an elixir by spiritscript (T) 8.2k // THIS ONE. UGH I love, and it’s funny and cute and it EVEN HAS CRIME (kinda not really but yes)! I love the quiet moments they have and the PET AHHHHHHH! We love medic Osamu :DDDDD But also the betrayal and the sparring (and the irony at the end LOL) AJSKJNFK.

we fall between by stringendos (T) 14.7k // honestly the entire time I was just screaming at my computer, begging for them to hurry up and realize, but alas this is a ~slow burn~ for a reason and the tag ‘exes who act like theyre married’ really is the reason I read it and I do not regret LOL. Also bless Matsuda and stan her.

All the Time in the World by minie_ai (M) 8.8k // we love immortality! Denial! And Suna mentally filing away blackmail against people (namely Astumu) LOL. Running away from your problems is always the answer (I am saying this is a not sarcastic manner because I too, run away from my problems LOL) but ramen is ALWAYS a good answer. We love ourselves some emotional constipation LOL.

***none but you by broikawa (T) 7.2k // everything is a competition always LOL, not that I’m complainin but still LOL EVERYTHING. I really love this one because I love the progression and cock-block SakuAtsu hehe. I love them being synchronized idiots <3

it all comes back to you, (my home) by iritaescents (T) 4.5k // FOREVER, WE STAN FOREVER. Anyway, LOL this was is very very cute and fluff and not slow burn, it fast burn LOL. It’s a cute fic to read and it even has our favorite, now say it with me SOULMATES LOL.

Can't help falling in bed with you by tirralirra (T) 6.7k // here we see a 5 + 1 with points for the title (I think it’s very funny LOL my humor is bad ;)) Not that it really needs extra points because it’s a great fic in itself LOL but I really liked the title so I felt the need to share this with you all (OOPS). This was so cute, and the + 1 is HILARIOUS.

It’s no longer up :(((((( -> love's consequences by xginpuff (T) 6.5k // WARNINGS AND TAGS been a while since we had an angsty fic in this list (LOL the way I just tried to avoid all of them hehe). I read the tags but ngl I was still surprised later LOL maybe I’m just dumb, but anyway IK it starts out a bit confusing, but after you read more, you’ll get into it!

***sunagashi by bastigod (T) 9.8k // if there’s anything I like more than mythology, it’s folklore LOL. I love this fic and the plot is written so artfully AHDSAJN. Also the scene with the Ume-chan and her comment (so snarky I love). Also they way I went through so much trouble trying to figure out the kanji LOL (SPOILER it’s miyarin hehe)

catch me (while i'm still runnin') by lunarins (T) 4.3k // first and foremost, may we have a moment of silence for Komori and his eyebrows..... Continuing, this fic was so good because I love a good heist hehe. Their slight of hand abilities really doing the most LOL, and the ending OMG. I love the way the writer added in how they appeared to others during the heist, it really made it so good! Ugh to have a painting class and almost die LOL.

***if we get this right by Slumber (G) 5k // OLD FRIEND plsplspls I love this fic and I love how Osamu slowly relearns who he knew Suna as AHHH. The ending, again UGH, I really loved it and their banter with one another.

The Study of Suna Rintarou by DeathBelle (T) 6.1k // PLEASE the way Osamu kept getting offended omg. But also the effort Suna puts into getting to know Osamu, I was in ~love~. Read to me Osamu, READ TO ME. But also the Osamu is an oblivious MF agenda is alive and well within this fic hehe.

Take a Hint by pancake_surprise (G) 2.3k // ok so I had just read a tumbr post about the one bed thing and then I saw this fic. It was like the stars aligned okay? I was like, ig I HAVE to read it now hehe. But seriously read it, it’s cute and like everything else, of course there’s a challenge to be made LOL.

Heatwave by pancake_surprise (G) 2.1k // the way they were dating without knowing they were dating man. The tag ‘Didn't Know They Were Dating‘ more accurate than the ‘first dates’ one LOL jk but actually tho am I kidding? It’s the first official one IG. LOL anyway, we do love the doin of the defining of relationships. Yup.

If you made it all the way down here, CONGRATS LOL. Like I said, I didn’t read all of them (sadly) and these were the ones i did read LOL. I might add more depending on whether I can motivate myself into reading fics I know will be good LOL so we’ll see heh. Honestly, I thought I was gonna get word counted, but YAY we finished (for now hehe). Also sorry for any possible typos (is this no beta we die like men?) I’m running on 90 min of sleep so my engrish be strugglin LOL. Be safe and wear masks :)

[heterochromatica]

📓 💢 😂

Get to know my character through an ask! || Accepting! <3

📓 - If your character keeps a journal, what is the most secret thought they keep in it?

💢 - What frustrates your character more than anything?

Injustice - There is nothing else that drives Todoroki more up the walls than injustice. No matter in what regard and what context. If he sees something that is simply not right he cannot ignore it or walk by. He’s the kind of person that knows very well that lawful is not equal to just and that makes him furious. He’s learned first hand that not everything is fair in this life but if he can help it he will. If he gets a choice, he will try to make the right decision even if that means bending rules or breaking laws at worst. He’s been told in the past that his moral compass is questionable to be a lawful acting member of society but he couldn’t care less. It’s the reason he’s failed his law exam more than once, not being able to pick the answers that are lawful, always chosing what is best for everyone instead of what would be deemed lawful.

If there is something that Todoroki always fails to do is look away when things are not his business no matter if it’s friends or strangers. 

A drabble touching on this subject can be found here >>> XXX

😂 - Your character is moved to tears. What’s a kindness that another showed to them

He didn’t realize how the tears gathered at the corners of his mismatched eyes had started to dribble down his cheeks until Yaoyorozu gasped and squeaked at him, worry laced into her voice and maybe something Todoroki would later identify as guilt. He blinked at her before realizing what she was fussing over. Momo had found a video on youtube showing the rescue and recovery of a kitten that had been neglected and maybe even abused. The people had given it a good home in the end and-

When did he start crying? Confused about himself and the sudden wetness he felt when his fingertips traced the skin of his cheekbones, he looked back at the screen that was presented to him only a couple minutes ago. With the sleeve of his shirt he hastily wiped his face, somewhat feeling betrayed by his body and it’s reaction to something this beautiful. How dare it gave him tears, making him feel like he just spoiled his friends experience watching this video. How....why... was he even crying? He wasn’t sad, rather the opposite actually. He was happy, why were there tears to begin with? “No, no I’m okay.. I don’t know what’s going on.. I.. I don’t know, I’m sorry, this was very nice I’m glad the tiny kitten found a good home and someone who truely loves it and-” “Todoroki-san those are called happy tears.” Izuku chimed in, gently rubbing the back of the younger boys back as if to reassure and console him. For some reason the dual quirk holder wasn’t quite sure what just happened but there was a very certain happiness inside him that made him feel warm and so he blinked again, looking back and forth between his two friends, still unable to explain it. “I’m sorry I- this was weird right-”  “No, that’s not a bad thing, Todoroki-san.” Momo said with a gentle smile. “You’re just being emotionally happy for the kitten. That’s called emphasis.”

[xxconclusione-aperioxx]

Okay so I'd like to share what I commented on this video. I watched it and it sent me into a whole rant about the motives and characterization of Draco. I recommend watching before reading this:

@quinncurio is the original poster

Here's the copy paste of my comment/ Essay. I was slight heated when I wrote this, but my points still stand.

"OH BOY. HI, HELLO I VERY MUCH DISAGREE. ALSO: DISCLAIMER: DONT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY, YOU WILL FIND I HAVE A VERY LOGICAL EXPLANATION, FOR WHY THIS ANALYSIS DOESN'T WORK.

Calling a Draco a cowardly bigoted bully, and a carbon copy of Dudley is the most SHALLOW and LOW EFFORT CONCLUSION YOU COULD POSSIBLY DRAW. IT IS LOW HANGING FRUIT. I'm going to have to break this into sections to truly explain why your conclusion is soooo incredibly shallow. You may have done your research, but I feel like you learned nothing more about Draco then if you'd never seen more then 5 min. So I'm going to start the same way you have and break this down into the same points.

PART 1 : AN ANALYSIS OF HARRY MEETING DRACO

I'm not going to go into detail of Harry's impression or ideas of Draco, because this analysis is about Draco, Not Harry. Also remember the books were written from Harry's POV, not a neutral party. I'm not obliged to Harry's opinions, just facts. Which brings up the first true conclusion about Draco's character. *Draco Malfoy feels a strong need to impress others, to gain their affection.* He does this through incisive bragging, trying to make people believe he knows best, and tearing down the reputation of others, so the object of his desires sees Draco and the most obvious choice. Where we differ is:

You believe Draco does this, because he thinks, he's better then others.

I believe,(which circumstantially has more evidence), Draco does this because he wants the affection, and acceptance of others

Whether you believe he acts out this way bc of how he is raised, his privilege, or something else, it doesn't change the fact that Draco was truly trying to make a friend, perhaps the only way he knew how.

In noble wizarding society, traditions, and your family does mean a lot. Not even looking at it from a pureblood view, imagine having a family that old and known. They really are a type of nobility, with family Lords even having political seats in the Wizengamote just because of their family name. The Longbottoms and Weaselys hold this same political influence, and it's not tied to Slytherins, pureblood ideals or anything like that. Draco is an only child, and an heir to his family line, so he is going to be treated importantly bc of that. He is raised with that responsibility, and in social situations not only represents himself, but the whole heritage of his family. Draco hasn't had the ability to act like a normal petulant child (part of the reason he tends to act out at Hogwarts.*ie. away from home*). He's been taught to act proper, make good allies, and impress others for the good of his reputation. I'd say most noble wizarding children probably get the same training and lectures, and have their own customs and culture of educate. What may come for Draco as polite, and diplomatic, may sound rude or arrogant to Harry. This is because Draco was not aware how different Harry's upbringing was from his own, and has never dealt with not having enough. Perhaps if Draco knew how different and ignorant Harry was he would have felt pity, or a sense of wrongness at Harry's injustice. Though Draco is just an 11yr old boy, who's only ever had a loving family, and almost anything he wanted. It is difficult for him to relate to the lack of others. As all wizarding children, he probably grew up with the story of the boy who lived and may have even been excited when his father said he wanted them to become friends. He truely was excited to meet Harry and genuinely wanted to be friends. While yes Lucius definitely wanted Draco to befriend Harry to help lighten their family reputation, I also think that Draco, being a child, would more likely be more excited of making a famous friend. Maybe he even had some hope seeing he'd met Harry before when he saw him on the train.

Part 2 : THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DRACO AND DUDLEY

Draco's sense of superiority comes from his traditions and pride in his family, while Dudley's is strictly from his own greed and selfishness. Draco would't do half of the things Dudley does simply because it's incredibly unclothe, and he has better ways of getting what he wants. Dudley isn't smart enough to compare to Draco. Though Draco and Dudley might both have things handed to them, Draco is not gluttonous or greedy about it. Dudley will trash his gifts and belongings, constantly wanting more, and viewing things given to him as disposable. Draco wants things yes (like every child does) but he's proud of his possessions and cherishes them, brags about them. Dudley is an animal compared to Draco. He doesn't have the same skill, smarts or self control. Dudley is abusive, and a tyrant in his bullying. Dudley wants to see Harry hurt and bleed. He is very violent compared to Draco. While we constantly and repeatedly see Draco shy away from violence, and use more his words.

Part 3 : DRACO'S "HARASSMENT", STRATEGIES AND EVOLUTION.

Draco despite his threats and facade is Not a violent person. This is because despite all Draco's bravo, and cruel words, Draco is kind. Yes he is conflicted, but that is only more proof of his inner kindness. If he didn't feel guilty, he wouldn't feel conflicted. Which means he really doesn't want to be mean to others, but he's just acting out based on how he thinks he's supposed to feel/act, but doesn't really enjoy it. I think when you strip Draco back behind his actions, and pose, you'll find a very different person. The half-blood prince gave us some of that, but it's another thing to see it in Draco from the beginning. Essentially Draco's attempt at bullying started when Harry rejected his friendship. Draco had probably never been rejected before, and probably couldn't possibly fathom why Harry would choose anyone else over him. While yes that's a bit coincided, Draco was also incredibly sheltered and probably wasn't introduced to children who weren't already tied to his family. Harry's rejection irrevocably shattered Draco's confidence and perception, which sent him into literal years of lashing out at Harry for his hurt emotions, and pining for his attention. It is the most pathetic excuse for bullying, and Draco antagonizing Harry is the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails. Draco did get quite shrewd with words, but he was really just trying to get the biggest reaction, especially since Harry is so volatile at times. The truth of the matter is Draco is actually very jealous, because deep down he really admires Harry. He want's the same freedom Harry has. He doesn't want to worry about his duty or who he has to be, but to be able to live authentically the way he views that Harry does. Draco really just wants to be more like Harry, but feels he is stuck, by the Dark Lord, his family obligations or anything else. Draco isn't a bully, he's just sad. Not even Ron or Hermione take him seriously after a while. *cough*this is why Drarry is so huge*

Part 4 : He had no choice?????

Everyone has a choice, but I think you over estimate how easy a choice can be. Family is important to Draco, they are probably the only people who love him for who he is, not what they can get out of him. As a child Draco felt pride in his family, and family made him feel special and important. As he got older that pride turn into expectations, and responsibility. Lucius and Narcissa value the preservation of their family above all else. They are protective and loving and those feeling extended to Draco. It's where he gets his kindness. It is indeed a Slytherin trait to value those you care about above everyone else. We protect our own, a loyalty probably stronger then Hufflepuff for those select few a Slytherin deeply cares about. Draco's parent would let the whole world burn to save him, and Draco would do the same for them. While Draco's family did hold pureblood ideals, after the first war Voldemort was not someone they willing wanted to follow. The light sided also would have never offered aid to death eaters, because fundamentally they were still against the dark, and there was no other place for dark wizards to go except Voldemort. Most of the death eaters had actually been somewhat relived at the news of Voldemort's death, and the boy who lived, as Voldemort had already become insane to the point of torturing his own followers, and wasn't getting them anywhere near their goals. Except for the also insane brainwashed few like Bella who'd follow her lord to the grave, many of the death eater's were content to be peaceful and stay quite after the war. Probably even grateful for it, as there were many needless casualties on both sides. I feel like the Malfoys were one of those families that were happy to get out. If the side they are on is harmful or losing, they are ready to abandon ship. This may sound like they are cowardly with no resolve, but if it was the life and death of your family, and your loved ones, I think you might think differently. I feel like we aren't too far off in agreement here, but where we differ is in judgement and motives we feel the Malfoys, or Draco had. Lucius made a mistake in the first war, and spent the second trying to keep his family out of danger. I can't imagine the fear he had in Azkaban for his family, the dementors feeding off him and what he thought the Dark Lord would do to his only son, his wife, his family. Meanwhile Draco was left with the threat of his father rotting in Azkaban, and his mother being killed. His mother also with the thought of her son being killed. So yes Draco could have made a choice, and he did make a choice, a choice to protect his family, and honestly I can't see that as wrong. Maybe if Harry would have actually taken his offer of friendship things could have gone differently and it wouldn't have come to that.

Part 5 : Abuse Theory

I definitely agree with you here. The Malfoys were not abusive, and get a better anthology for racism then something which in fact could be solved with a study on culture rather then blood. If you want a good parallel for racism in HP forget muggleborns, and look at creature blood, not dumb house elfs either, but werewolves, goblins, centaurs beings just as intelligent as wizards. The bigotry towards werewolves especially is horrific, especially from the "light side" who avidly labels them as dangerous dark creatures. *Also note about the scene in Borgen and Berks* Lucius stopped Draco from touching the artifact because it was probably cursed, as many dark artifacts are. Even if you know what you're doing they can be dangerous to handle carelessly. So Lucius was actually very wise and protecting Draco, his 12 yr old son, from getting badly hurt. Why the cane? If touching a cursed object curses you, then its better not to get close with your actual hands. Using his cane to push Draco away was actually a precaution. Lucius is anything but careless,

Part 6: Draco's Wand and Symbolism

I generally agree here too, but I believe this symbolism is more reflective of the things Draco wishes he could have had, or done differently. If anything the wand and symbolism Draco has is representative of the good in him, and not cowardice, or inability to do enough.

Part 7: Redemption

Tbh I'm part of the crowd that would have liked that deleted scene to stay in the final cut. However I understand what's justifiable for one person, may not be enough for someone else. This is where you get more into the topic of morality, and how much are you morally responsible for as a person. Harry has been drilled with the mindset for years that he has to save everyone, and that if your not in it for the greater good, ready to lay down your life you better forget being in it at all. Personally I don't believe Harry has any right to claim that rhetoric, as Dumbledore(and by association Grindlewald) practically spoon fed it down his throat; but I wont talk about that as it's a whole other issue. Draco, you have to understand has a whole type of different morality. Objectively I believe he's a good person, if not pressured by the echo chamber of ideals around him. Yet Draco repeatedly gives signs, and expresses the desire to want to do good. In order to properly analyze Draco you have to look past his outward facade, and actions, or you'll never see him as anything more then he pretends to be. If you can only read plain text, if you can't see past the obvious, you will always have a very flat one dimensional view of a character or a person. To me there's no redemption needed. Draco is already good, more good then his parents, and perhaps more good then some who claim goodness.

In summary Draco is a very complex person, who tries to over compensate for his flaws, struggles to express honesty, but deeply cares for others, especially his family. His duality lies in how he wants to be good to others, yet how in the end he always chooses to save the ones he loves, over the majority. Draco will always have his flaws, but he will always have his goodness too, and I hope you won't disregard that.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

P.S

Kudos to anyone who read through all that.

[emotionalgirl101]

Question | Chapter 6

Words: 3,111

Genre: college au, angst, fluff

Pairing: SKZ x reader

Summary: Your best friend, Minho, had been refusing to introduce you to his other group of best friends for months now, with no explanation as to why. One night after getting drunk after work together, he gave in to your pleas. Oops.

Warning: Contains mature content (such as coarse language, violent themes, etc).

A/N: Sorry guys! I know it’s been so long, but since it’s uni break, I’m back for a while. I hope you like this chapter. I really like were the story is going and I hope you do, too! Also, shoutout to @omniligence for asking if I planned to continue writing. I honestly might have forgotten that I have the freedom to do it again. (longest chapter yet!)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

-------------------------------

Thursday rolled around, and you weren’t exactly sure why, but you were dreading it. After all the antics of the past week, you were finally seeing Minho. It was kind of surprising it took you two this long to hang out. The last time you saw him was the morning after the drinking night with his roommates. Maybe that’s part of the reason you felt uneasy?

You had slept in his jumper again that night, but somehow remembered to wash it between now and then. You left it folded on the coffee table so you wouldn’t forget to give it to him when you got back from lunch. It was quarter past twelve, meaning he was due any second. You guys usually planned timing quite loosely, knowing the other would text you when they were on their way, or if anything came up affecting your plans.

You took the opportunity to fill in the small amount of spare time you had to check your work schedule. You had previously arranged to switch shifts with one of the girls that was going to a wedding on Saturday, and forgot to get the day off. Thus, your assigned Sunday shift had moved to a Saturday again. Specifically the afternoon. You texted Eunwoo this new found information. The two of you had been trying to find time for a girls night, and with the lack of a shift on Sunday, Saturday night sounded perfect.

As the message went out, Minho came in. You had left the door unlocked, but even if you hadn’t, you’d trusted him with your spare key. You’ve needed to use it once or twice since you met. Isn’t it strange how you can be closer to the people you’ve known for the shortest amount of time than those you’ve known your whole life?

He wandered over and fell into the couch with a relative amount of grace, stared forward, then rolled his head towards you. He just looked, and you read his mind. Bringing your legs up onto the couch, you moved to face him. “What’s up, Lee?” Slipped effortless from your mouth as you rested your head in your hand, arm propped up on the back of the couch. You analysed him. You knew his mannerisms better than your own, and this was the ‘something’s bothering me’ expression. Yes, he looked like that most of the time, but the detail that defined the difference was the emotion held in his eyes.

“So, something happened the other day.” He knew better than to trying to avoid telling you what was on his mind, and it seemed in this case he wasn’t planning to, anyway. After seeing half his apartment occupants over the past few days, your mind went to the other 8 boys he had for company. Was it about the prank they played on Felix? Was it something to do with running into them so much recently? Did something happen at the house? You couldn’t help the flood of questions that began to swim around in your mind. This happened often. You liked to joke that overthinking is your ‘hobby’.

“At the bar.” He deadpanned. His eyes stared into thin air. Your curiosity peaked. He continued. “My manager is acting completely different. He’s forgetting his shifts, ignoring the casual roster and being an absolute dick over all.” He shifted again, eyes meeting yours. You expected them to be filled with annoyance at his boss’ antics, but they held none. Instead, they were overflowing with concern. The room felt tense. He meant it. Something was off. He drew a sharp breath, then relaxed. He continued.

“It’s just not like him, you know? At first I thought it might be some guys threatening the bar. There are the usual shady guys that come in occasionally, but none of them have been giving off a bad vibe, and I haven’t seen anyone dodgy coming around the place. I just can’t figure out what’s wrong. It’s so unlike him. Like, do I say something or…” he trailed off. He didn’t expect you to answer. He just wanted you to listen. He needed to get it off his chest. Neither of you said anything for a while. Until you broke the silence.

“On a lighter note, I’m starving. Please can we go get food?” You stood up and began to grab your things. With a humorous scoff, Minho nodded, rising from his seat and picking up his jumper that he had noticed you left on the coffee table. “Where are we going?” He looked to you for instruction as he opened the door. You walked through the frame and waited for him to pull the door shut. He checked that the door did, in fact, lock when he shut it behind him, then lead the way to the elevator. Once he had called for it, you looked at each other and, as if on cue, spoke in unison, “Hirai”.

-

Hirai was your go-to Japanese restaurant. It was reasonably priced, some level of authentic and the half way point between your apartment and the boys’ place. You had stumbled upon it when you first moved in.

Minho went to order for the both of you. It was normal for one of you to pay for lunch and the other to pay for whatever dessert, snack or drinks you ordered later in the day. You took the opportunity to flick through your notifications. There didn’t appear to be anything noteworthy, so you were about to lock your screen when Facebook alerted you to a post on your university’s page. You weren’t one to go on Facebook. It was more of a way to find out about promotions from food places and occasionally tag friends in memes. You clicked the notification, and your mouth dropped as Minho took his seat across the table.

“It’s happened. Again!” You seethed, turning the screen to let Minho scan over what you’d just read. “Are they serious? They’ve been saying they’d close the place for months and now their backing out? Don’t they know the reputation the frat has?” He was just as annoyed as you.

One of the few boarding houses your university had a bad reputation, with dozens upon dozens of scandals from academic violations to vile crimes. The student’s had dubbed it ‘the frat’ as it was the closest thing the university had to a frat house. You’d only ever gone to one party there, and what you encountered put you off for the rest of your uni career. It was supposed to be shut down at the beginning of last semester, but with the majority of the guys living in the frat being well-off, their parents probably gave the university a nice payout to keep it’s doors open. It disgusted both of you. “I wish I had that much money.” Minho appeared to have also been running the situation through his head. “I’d be free of uni debt and-”  

“Become a crazy cat lady?” You giggled as he signed in annoyance, prodding his ramen with his chopsticks. “Shut up.” he mumbled under his breath, and you erupted into giggles again. He tried to stifle a laugh, but was cut off by a voice that was familiar to the both of you.

“Hyung? Noona?” You turn to be met with a beaming smile from Han Jisung, Changbin following closely behind him. You were pretty surprised, but it made sense to see the two boys there. It was close by and Minho probably would of told them about your little spot. It was just that you’d never seen them there before. The coincidence was uncanny. Your best friend’s roommates truely were everywhere lately.

You thought you heard an irritated sigh slip through your best friend’s lips, but convinced yourself you were hearing things. “Jisung, Changbin,” you smiled up at the boys, “What’re you doing here?” Minho said in unison with you, though his tone held a lot of annoyance in comparison. He mentioned on the walk that he had left to the boys having their own mukbang party, and that he wanted to spare you from Felix’s ASMR.

“The boys overcooked half the food, so we’re picking up Japanese instead.” Changbin replied, his voice relaxed and a small smile playing on his lips. Minho gave a small grunt, stuffing his face full of ramen to avoid the confused stare you sent his way. What’s up with him?

Before you could reply, Changbin spoke up again, “Will you be coming over again soon, Y/n-ah?”. You kinda just stared at Minho. He stared at his ramen. You rolled your eyes. “Hopefully! It was fun getting to know you guys. Plus, then I can be involved with the next prank on-”

“You know about that?!” Minho’s voice had raised considerably, earning a ton of strange looks from everyone around, including yourself and the the two boys standing beside you. He gathered his composure. “How?” He asked, feigning nonchalance.

“I was out with Eunwoo the other day. We found a cafe and it just happened to be the one Hyunjin and Jeongin work at.” The boy’s face was still plastered with shock and confusion, eyes big and round, looking at you. “Jeongin has a job?” He looked stunned that you knew something he didn’t. About his roommate no less.

There were eyerolls all ‘round. “You really don’t pay much attention do you, hyung?” Changbin smirked. You smiled at him, eyes briefly connecting with Jisung before looking back to Minho. He was beyond annoyed. “Can’t I just eat in peace?” He huffed, playing with his ramen.

“Yeah, that’s our cue to go. Hope to see you soon, though.” Jisung smiled and placed a warm hand on your shoulder, moving towards the restaurant counter. Changbin gave a nod, leaving you alone with Minho once again.

You just sat there for a second, staring at him. He looked up hesitantly after feeling your eyes boring into the top of his skull. “What?” He shoved more food in his mouth, opting to focus on the table rather than meet your eyes. You just shook your head, half smiling at the idiot sitting across from you. You brushed off his weird behaviour and went back to enjoying lunch with your best friend.

-

The both of you were walking around the neighbourhood aimlessly. Neither of you had anywhere to go after lunch, and it seems like Minho didn’t particularly fancy going home. Honestly, neither did you. So you did what you always did when you both felt like this. You wandered.

You’d made some great discoveries on trips like this, the little adventures you and Minho went on frequently after you met. That’s how you figured out he lived so close by. You were quite strategic when it came to moving into your first solo apartment. At least that’s what you’d like to think. Majority of it was dumb luck. You had moved into a relatively lively suburb. Busy enough to have some level of a community vibe, with restaurants and cafes and shops dotting every street. However, not so much that it was loud or filled with obnoxious people driving through or yelling at 2am on a Saturday night. You just happened to receive a job offer from one of those shops, and wandered past the bar a few blocks down one afternoon with Minho.

“I work there.” The boy lazily pointed. You nodded at first, not particularly interested in filling the void in the conversation. Then you realised just how close it was. “Wait. I live near here. My work place is a few blocks back, and I live that way.” You gestured in the general direction of where you vaguely thought the apartment building was. “Huh,” a smirk took place on his lips, “you’re only a few minutes away. My place is further up this way.” He nodded in the direction you were headed. That’s probably a contributing factor to how you guys grew to be so close. It was just easy.

“This is new.” Minho exclaimed, snapping you out of the memories you were reminiscing upon. Your head jerked to see what he was looking at. What was once an old antique shop that had been closed for months was now a bright, pastel-themed bubble tea shop. You exchanged a look, both shrugged and walked in, because why not? Minho grabbed a menu for you both to look through. The amount of flavours was overwhelming, but neatly categorised for your convenience. Something you were grateful for.

Minho decided quite quickly. He tapped your arm, gesturing for your card. You were so wrapped up in your own thoughts you forgot it was your shout. He took a step into line as you tried to figure out how all the toppings, ice and sugar levels worked at this place. You finally settled on a flavour you guessed you’d like and were willing to try. Minho had ordered. He handed over your card, giving you a sly smile as he spun around towards a seat in the waiting area. What is he on? You rolled your eyes, approaching the counter.

You had to stifle a blush. The guy standing opposite you was attractive, but he seemed unaware to it. His smile was almost blinding. It was hard to concentrate on anything else. Was this why Minho looked at you like that? Did he know you were gonna have a crisis because the guy behind the counter was inhumanely attractive? Your thoughts were cut short.

“Hi,” he beamed down at you, “what can I get you?” You smiled back, somehow feeling more at ease with his focus on you. You surprisingly managed to get through your order without making a total fool of yourself. He looked at you the whole time, listening intently and nodding every so often. Only after you’d finished did he start inputting your order. You stood patiently.

“You haven’t been here before have you?” He said with a knowing tone of voice. He looked up at you briefly, still filling in your order. You hadn’t expected him to start a conversation. “U-uh, no. My friend and I just found it while we were wandering around.” You were hoping you managed to smooth out your words enough for him to miss the tremor in your words. He looked up from the screen at you again, and the smile he gave seemed a little less pure. “Well, I’m glad you did.” He smirked slightly.

He told you the price, gesturing to the EFTPOS machine between you, asking your name as you tapped your card. “Y/n” you smiled back once you knew the transaction went through. The embarrassment of your card randomly declining was the last thing you needed. He just nodded to himself, taking note. He handed you the order number. “It shouldn’t be too long,” and just like that, he set to work on your order. Your head was spinning from how charming this guy was, but it wasn’t in a like ‘I’m a player’ type way, more of a ‘I’m just a genuinely friendly guy’ way. You shook the thought out of your head. No point to get your hopes up. You’d probably never see him again.

Minho was smirking at you. “Shut up!” You mumbled under your breath and hit his folded arms. You knew he was teasing you. It was probably obvious how flustered you were. To him at least. You were about to ask him why he gave you that look before, but were cut off by the same voice that served you moments ago.

“Number 2, number 3” His eyes met yours with a small smile. Minho stood up to get your orders, taking both numbers with him. You waited by the door, expecting Minho to be on your heels by then. You were taken aback when he was still at the counter. They’re talking? Since when was Minho so friendly with random people he just met? By this point, you were beyond confused.

“The hell is going on with you today?” You pushed once you were further down the block. Minho just sipped on his tea, feigning innocence, “What do you mean?” You gawked at him, channeling all your exasperation through your eyes. It was to no avail. He acted sheepish, ignoring you, eyes looking ahead. “Do you like it?” Referring to your drink.  

You took a sip, nodding back at him. “It’s actually really good. Want to try?” You went to offer but he waved his hand. “I’m good. I like mine.” You shook your head, giggling at his antics.

“Can I try?” You went to grab the cup, but he manoeuvred it out of your reach. He was protecting it like it was his firs- born child. “No~,” he whined, “it’s mine~” Boy, was he melodramatic. After seeing you pout, he rolled his eyes and gave in. Handing it over, you took a sip. “That’s nice. I like mine better, though.” He laughed. “Of course you do. I’ll try it if we go back.” You nodded in agreement. He practically snatched the cup out of your hands. You could almost hear him saying ‘that’s enough!’ Inside his head. A giggle broke through your lips, rolling your eyes in sync.

He stopped walking, placing his tea on the window ledge of the building you were passing by. He had been holding the jumper this whole time. It surprised you that he managed this long without getting aggravated at the inconvenience. He tied it around his waist, stopped, then retied it so one sleeve came over his right shoulder, and the other one from underneath his left arm. He paused again, reevaluating the whole situation. You burst out laughing. “Shut up.” He whined, tying it around his waist again. “You should’ve left it.” A statement equivalent to ‘I told you so’. He began walking again, giving you a light shove as he spoke, “Just drink your tea.” You didn’t miss the knowing curve of his lips. You were satisfied with your victory.

With a meaningless sigh, you filled the small silence by examining your tea. Looking down at the label, you made a mental note for when you go there again to order the same thing. That’s when you noticed it, and a smile crept onto your face. There was something different on your label, scribbled in black ink.

The name ‘Jaemin’, followed by a 10 digit number.

“What are you smiling about?” Minho cocked an eyebrow your way.

“Nothing.” You sung, smiling down at the pavement as you made your way home.

>>

——————————-

Side note: Teehee Dreamies are featuring in here too~

[cumfuqmedaddy]

You know I share a lot of sexual stuff but today will be different so just scroll past this; I honestly don’t care.

I didn’t know I was pregnant when I was 23 and miscarried in St Patrick’s Day. It was super early on and that morning I called my boyfriend and cried and was shaking and just flat out not okay. He was six years older than me and working a night shift management gig for a super predatory loan company and promised he would go with my to my 8am obgyn appointment. He didn’t show and I found out I would most likely never have my own children. I told the doctor they had switched my birth control on my last visit and I had been severely depressed and suicidal since they had. The male doctor brushed me off and wrote down I was overly emotional when I was crying about how I couldn’t stop thinking about killing myself and a month prior I was so happy and full of life. It wasn’t me. I tried calling my boyfriend for hours terrified he got in an accident since he missed the appointment. He told me he just drove straight home and fell asleep, forgetting that I was going to the doctor.

We dated for three years and everyday was hell, especially at the end. He brought up how he had an ex who checked herself into a mental hospital and I could only nimbly think that I was next. I cried after we had sex almost every time at the end. I could tell his view of me changed. I was not his sexy little girlfriend, I was his hurt and broken girlfriend that could never give him a family. I don’t think he even knew he felt that way but every touch and word he gave me showed me that. There was no love. We broke up for a month or two and he invited me over one day when we were getting back together and said he wanted to please me. He put me on my hands and knees and blindfolded me. He played with me, stuck ice in me, and started fucking me woth what I though was a dildo but turned out to be a hairbrush. He showed me what I came with and I wanted to throw up. I didn’t want to be fucked by that and started crying and said I didn’t want that inside me. He asked why and I was to proud to say I was humiliated by it and told him it was trashy. He called me an elitist and gave examples of all of his female friends that did. He shamed me telling me women didn’t always have money to buy dildos. I don’t think we used protection the rest of our relationship and we never had pregnancy again despite all the nonstop sex. It was almost a punishment to see how no matter how often I let him cum inside me, I could never do that one thing you were supposed to do as a woman.

On my 25th birthday he told me he would be out of town for his friend Angelique’s wedding. He promised he would make the day we did celebrate action packed and he had everything planned. He had nothing planned and drove around from place to place. When he would begin to see me having fun we had to leave immediately. That Saturday on my actual birthday I celebrated with two friends and waited for my boyfriend to call since he said he would come by after the wedding. He told me he was too tired from Becca’s wedding. He never showed. His birthday was a month after mine and I rented a car to allow him to drive to New York to visit his family, we were living in the south. He fell asleep and I picked up his phone to take a sexy picture for him to be surprised with. I unlocked his phone and a text came through from a girl named Megan begging for him to call her when he made it home safe. I frowned and did the one thing I never did before, went through the messages. He had been talking to her, seeing her, fucking her since we went on our break the fall before. I was crushed and carefully took pictures of the messages and her number on my phone. I woke him up and confronted him with everything and he cried saying the whole reason he was going to New York was to talk to his dad to try to stop cheating. We stayed together and I found out the wedding he went to was with her. I’m still angry at her but mostly because I was just as foolish as she was and it hurt.

We finally separated before my 26th birthday. It hurt. Mostly because I was so embarrassed I let him mentally and emotionally abuse me for so long. Sexually too but I have a harder time recognizing all of the sex was that way. I still kept in contact with him for a few months and we still fucked, him buying a hotel room to fucking me in after saying he wanted a special night out in this sexy dress I bought for Vegas. It barely covers my ass and was cut super low. I showed up all dolled up. He showed up I’m gym shorts and a ball cap. I don’t know if you have ever gone out looking like a prostitute when your partner didn’t match how sexy you looked but it stung. He even made me go up to the hotel front desk for my key so everyone saw me dressed like that. I didn’t really care. I knew it would be the last time I fucked him though we would flirt and phone sex for months after. The last time I saw him was for his birthday, I got tickets to a concert and he cried the whole way there about being a father and how it wasn’t fair we lost the kid. At least I think, I can’t remember which was last. But that night was the first time he seemed to truely understand the loss in the way I did.

I tried to be his friend even after all of that. I’m just nice and I didn’t want all of those years we spent together to mean nothing. It had been three years since I lost our child and I texted him crying on st pattricks day, devastated. I was barely an adult, almost a kid still when it happened. At least that is what it felt like. I was a full blown woman now, sexy and fun with a career just not the family. He understood and was kind. The loss hit me hard for that stretch of St Pattricks Day until Mother’s Day. It was like this ache inside of me. So empty and I knew it probably will not be filled. He texted me that he got someone else pregnant. I did the math and we had sex in the time they he knocked her up. The baby was due on my birthday by the math. It was cruel to tell me on Mother’s Day she was so far along and he had plenty of time but he waited until then to tell me. It was like a brag that he won almost it stung. I didn’t take it well.

He was horrible and I’m angry I ever let that happen but it’s Mother’s Day the year after and his new wife and kid and her two other kids are happy, maybe with him. I am happy I never have to see his face or hear his voice again. I just hope he treats them better than he did me. I know he won’t, he loves the pain too much and I hope they can find peace and get out if they need to. Fuck you Chris, I hope life treats you kinder than you treated me or every day would be hell, I am so thankful you told me you didn’t see a future woth me because I created a better one than you ever thought I was capable of.

I am in a happy, healthy relationship now with a man who loves me very much even if it gets hard. He is so polite and kind it almost seems fake but it’s genuine. That took a long time to get used to being treated so nice and we had a lot of breakdowns because it was so hard to trust it wasn’t just a way to make me turn a blind eye to something fucked up. Not everything is perfect because no relationship is perfect but to have such a pure and honest love has been earth shattering to have. I don’t deserve all of the support and kindness he gives me but I hope that I continue to try and earn it. I love him very much.

So anyway, Happy Mother’s Day. Maybe motherhood came to you in ways you didn’t expect, want, or sorely wished you had, but things will get better with time and with love. Stay safe out there.

[indelwen-of-mirkwood]

Thranduil Imagine (Multi Part) He Can Still Love: Part 2

He Can Still Love: Part 2

Masterlist

Part 1

A/N: Dont be surprised if some of the thoughts are kinda naive and not like the best choices, although elves are fully matured physically and mentally by the age of 100, there’s basically no life experience compared to an Elvenking of about 6,000 years old.

Writen during a phase of Writer Block but I tried. Kinda a filler chapter so.

Warning: Let’s make the slow burn a warning, I am expecting at least 10 chapters for this, so it’s gonna be long and slow romance but good hopefully. There, that’s my warning.

You tried to compose yourself, your face returning to its neautral expression. You were not sure what you were feeling as you walked inside the palace with Thranduil. Something about the fact that this was the man who you would spend the rest of your with made you uneasy, but somehow you knew it would not turn out to be horrible.

You haven’t even seen a portrait of him before, and had expected much worse. You were very relieved that he wasn’t a brutal looking elf, he didn’t seem to be a nasty person, but he was a king. Everyone knew that there was no such thing as a soft and gentle king. All you knew about him were the many rumors, some saying he was just to even the prisoners, others say he has no mercy.

The two of you followed behind your parents as they headed for the dinning hall where a small feast had been set up to welcome Thranduil. It was only tradition that there had to be a feast at both houses of the future couple.

Thranduil silently led to you to your seat, and pulled out the wooden chair. “Thank you, my lord,” you say politely as you say down. You allowed yourself to look at Thranduil from the corner of your eyes, watched his graceful movements as he made his way to the other side of the table, facing you.

Accidentally you stared for to long, allowing him to catch you eyes. His face showed no emotion, and you silently doubted the fact that he had any interest in you. You wanted to see him smile, tell you that he will take care of you as his wife. But these were just the fantasies of your vivid mind.

Simply because you were prepared to marry a king didn’t mean you had fantasies of what life could be, taking care of each other in the good and bad. Even if love didn’t come you always hoped to be friends with your husband. An unhappy marriage might as well be like being locked up in the dungeons with certain privileges.

You were pulled from your thoughts by your fathers voice. “Thranduil, we are glad that you have been able to make the long journey to our home,” your head turned to watch the words gently spill from his mouth.

At this moment you had no idea of what to say, Thranduil was going to be your husband soon, and you needed to get to know him. But what could you ask in the middle of lunch? You kept your ears open to the exchange between the two kings while you looked at your mother, silently pleading for her aid.

“It was all my pleasure,” Thranduil thick voice says, “As I know you too will travel with Lady (Y/N) to Mirkwood.” He spoke slowly, you knew he was carefully choosing his words. “To properly send her off into a new chapter of her life.”

You turned your head toward the silver haired elf, your eyes meeting as he gave you a small nod. None of the less it was quite an awkward ordeal, your shoulders were tense as silence filled the hall, only to be broken by the sound of servants coming in. On silver trays they brought the food, heavenly toasted meats and vegetables.

You saw Thranduil eyes light up at the sight of his wine glass being filled with the scarlet colored liquid, you let out a quiet puff of air as a small laugh. Once yours too was filled, you carefully lifted the glass, and stood up from your chair.

You saw a look of relief on your fathers face as you finally began to speak. “A toast,” you say as you look toward your parents, “to my dear parents, the rulers of this fair kingdom. I thank you for the lovely memories you have given me, for treasuring me and taking care of me up to this day.” Then you look at Thranduil, his face neutral, but you could see a glint in his eyes with slight curiosity.

“And to King Thranduil,” you say a you think of the words, you had to be careful of what was going to come out, you didn’t want to sound naive, but what were you going to thank him for? “The wise ruler of my future home, I appreciate what you have to offer, and may both your and my future be filled with prosperity.” You pause for a moment, “And hopefully I am suitable enough of a wife for such a graceful and noble king.”

Letting out a small smile you take a sip of your wine, watching everyone from the top of the glass, they all raised their glasses and you heard your mother say, “Well said my dear.”

You say down, beginning to feel your knees slightly weak as you replayed your little speech in your head.

Throughout most of the dinner the only conversation was between the two males, you caught come snips of it, not bothering to listen to the talks of politics and trade.

At the point where everyone was done eating you finally looked up and around. You were caught by Thranduils voice, “If you don’t mind, I would like for (Y/N) to show me around your home.” You tilted your head in shock, not allowing to show it on your features. Your parents exchanged glances and both nodded.

“It would be my pleasure my lord,” you say as you place the white napkin from your lap onto the table and stand up, waiting for him to come over. You gave him a polite smile as he walked over to you and offered you his arm, you took it and the two of you made your way out.

You had a tense feeling in your core, your breathing deep. You were trained for this moment your whole life, but you had no idea of how to engage in conversation. “Would you like to see the gardens?” You ask with a slightly shaky voice at first, quickly composing yourself before continuing, “The flowers are at their peak this time, my lord.”

You turn your head to him as you wait for a reply, having to lift your gaze up. He was a tall elf, above the average, but a height difference was something you would get used to.

“Indeed I would, seems like you know me already,” he said and you were able to tell that he had become slightly more relaxed, hopefully open to actually get to know you. You had always planned that if love never came, you were going to make the effort to make it a good and happy relationship. Maybe it would happen, but more than likely you were just being too hopeful.

“I wish I did,” you begin to say, “Know you, but I am glad that I made a good lucky guess, my lord.” You thought you heard him give a little grunt, but you could be mistaken.

You lead him down the decorated halls of your home, down toward the entrance of the garden. The gardens were something that your family took pride in, having imported many species of exotic flowers and trees.

There was a long moment of silence as the two of you walked through the silver metal gates, the warm day was clouded by the large trees scattered throughout the area, providing shade to the sweet scented rainbow of flowers and bushes.

From the corner of your eye you watched Thranduils reaction, only to be disappointed by the fact that he barely moved a facial muscle. You almost jumped when his voice said, “It is quite impressive given the slightly different climate here, my own gardens are just as astounding.” He turns to face you more, “I think you will enjoy them.”

You give a warm smile at his comment, happy that he was somehow trying accommodate you. You were going to be married soon, you couldn’t just live seperatly and never speak. So this was a huge step, at least you thought so.

“I truely can not wait to see them, and meet the rest of my soon-to-be home,” you say politely, behind all the sadness you had to be leaving your first home, you family, you were excited to get to know more places and explore the differences.

The rest of the walk was mostly silent, only followed by the two of you sharing thoughts on a certain species of orchid and the weather. By this point you were relaxed, feeling more comfortable and confident that your life wouldn’t change for the worst.

Even Thranduil, who wouldn’t dare share his thoughts yet, he began to learn your body language, study the way your face moves with different expressions. He had mixed feelings about this, having to marry another after the death of his first wife had passed so long ago. But he would take advantage of this political engagement. Deep down he knew he would have to make the best of his attempts to welcome you, not only to his home but into his heart.

Tag List for this story:

@bvckys-doll @nijiru

[thelifeofhayleymarie]

18/01/2019: Closing a chapter of my life

This is a post I’ve been dreading to write. Just a warning too, its going to be very, very long. This will also unfortunately be my last post on this account.

5 weeks and 1 day. That’s how long its been since everything changed, since L ended things with me, and I’ve been trying my hardest to make sense of it all. I’ve been trying my best to find the words to be able to write this post, but I’ve really struggled. All I’m going to start off with is that my heart is absolutely, completely and utterly broken.

This is not how I imagined things would be. This is not how I wanted to end the distance. I imagined us together in our own house, with a couple of dogs, happy and inlove... not like this. Never in a million years did I think we’d end up like this, not with how inlove I was with him. It still doesn’t feel real. When you give someone all of you, love them harder than anything else you’ve ever loved in your life, you never expect them to tell you that they don’t want it anymore. That it’s not enough for them. It’s so hard to accept; its just unfathomable really. I wanted to marry him. I was willing to move across the country for this boy. I was so ready, and so excited. It’s just disappointing. I feel like I sacrificed so much for him. Put his needs before my own. Accepted the heartbreaking challenge of doing long distance without getting a choice in the matter. Supported him in going out and achieving his dreams while I waited here for him. And for what? Him to turn around and say he’s changed his mind and that he doesn’t feel the same anymore? That he doesn’t have the passion for the relationship and that he loves me but he’s not inlove with me now? This whole thing has left me devastatingly broken. And it hurts, my god does it hurt...

It’s been extremely hard and confusing for me to understand too. December 8th he told me that I’m the love of his life and that he can’t wait to come home to me, then on December 13th, only 5 days later… he told me he couldn’t do this anymore. It was absolutely soul shattering to hear those words. Especially because we hadn’t been fighting or anything. I thought we had been perfectly fine, he made me believe that we were doing better. He even texted me that morning saying that he loves me. Then later that night he completely pulled the rug out from under me.

He messaged me that Thursday night saying he wasn’t doing very well mentally and that he needs to talk to me. Me being me I dropped everything and called him immediately, desperately wanting to help him and understand why he was feeling this way. He wouldn’t completely tell me the truth behind it until I kept asking questions. When I asked him if he could think of one thing that makes him happier than anything else in the world, and he answered saying he’s happiest when being on holiday at the lake… my stomach dropped and I immediately knew what was going on; because he didn’t say he was happiest when he was with me. This lead into me asking a whole bunch of other questions where I discovered that he had been apparently feeling miserable for months because he doesn’t think he wants to be with me anymore, because he feels like he’s changed, we’ve changed. This phone call was 3 hours long, yet I couldn’t grasp what was going on. I couldn’t believe it was actually happening. I was a mess after that phone call. I knew deep in my heart there was no coming back from that. I knew what he wanted, and it completely broke me. My best friend and my brother had to come and physically restrain me because of how inconsolable I was. I felt like my whole world was ending, especially because of how blindsided I felt. Eventually my mum had to literally medicate me to make me calm down. My heart couldn’t take it. I think I slept for 2 whole days after that.

Even though I knew it was over, a couple days later I had a very weak moment and called him and basically begged for him to just keep trying, at least until he comes home and we see each other (which was only a week away… I’d been looking forward to it for ages. I hadn’t seen him in 2 months... he was coming home for christmas on the 20th of december). But my god, it felt so degrading. No one should ever have to beg someone to not give up on them, or to try harder or love them back. I never wanted to stoop that low but I was in shock and I was desperate. And to my utter dismay- he said no. He didn’t want to try anymore. He said he’s been trying for months and it still just doesn’t feel right. This outraged me because 1, he hadn’t been completely honest and open with me about how he was feeling this way and 2, giving someone the bare minimum is NOT ‘trying’. He stopped meeting my needs a long time ago and I was too blinded by love to understand this. I deserved so much better than that. I deserve someone whose sure about me 100% of the time. I deserve someone whose consistent with their love and effort, which he very much lacked on and off throughout our whole relationship. His words rarely matched up to his actions. One day he’d say he loves me more than life itself and that he wants to marry me, the next he would hardly even speak to me. Complete head fuck right? But I stuck around because I loved him. Maybe that’s my own fault.

He was messaging me every day after that phone call- I don’t really know why, I think the guilt from hurting me was eating him up inside to be honest- but I just couldn’t reply to his messages. I needed space. I needed time to let it all sink in and to be able to reflect on it all. I eventually messaged him and asked him to give me the respect of ending things in person, where I can ask questions, get closure and say goodbye. He agreed and wanted that too. It’s so painful having to say goodbye to someone you wanted forever with. But I did it. I went over to his house a couple days after he arrived home and I got say my peace and get the closure I needed. And although I am hesitant to say, I also did end up seeing him a couple more times before he flew back home - alcohol and a broken heart dont mix well folks, trust me - but I surprisingly found that it didnt make things worse for me, because I had already accepted that this break up is probably for the best... dont get me wrong it was sad, and confusing but it was also nice to just be together, talk and take our time to say goodbye; our last goodbye, and the hardest one of all. It was especially hard seeing him cry along with me at the thought of it being the last time. But as I had time to reflect on it all leading up to seeing him each time, I came to the conclusion that this was for the best, and I told him that too. I knew I wasn’t being treated right, I knew I deserved better, I knew the distance had gotten to us too much, and I knew we both weren’t happy. But it was nice to end things on a good note and say goodbye in our own way.

During the past month I have rediscovered my worth and realized that I have so, so, SO much love to give, and if he doesn’t want it, then thats truely his loss. I put him on a pedestal for the longest time and forgot about myself through it all. I haven’t been fair to myself. So now, I think its time I put myself first- in every aspect of my life, not just through the break up. I’m going to try my best to leave all heartache in 2018, and begin to focus on my self worth, growth and all things positive in 2019.

As much as this hurts and as much as it killed me to do long distance this past year, I really have no regrets. I gave 110% of myself to this relationship and to L. I put my heart and soul on the line for someone I love and I think that’s something to be proud of- it’s actually admirable I think. Like a friend recently told me, I let someone know how it felt to be loved by me, and that’s beautiful. I love so damn hard too, and I deserve to get the same love back. Consistently. I also just want to make note that as much as this has hurt me, I don’t and will never wish ill upon him at all. I really just want him to be happy, and if that means not being with me anymore then so be it. I don’t think of him as a bad person- just someone whose young, and isn’t sure about what he wants. I’ve also realized that I can’t hate him for feeling a certain way. I don’t want to. That wouldn’t be fair. At the end of the day, as much as I tried to hold on, I think I always knew it wasn’t meant to be. There’s been too much hurt in the past, and the relationship was damaged from early on from certain things I think. The distance was also really, really difficult for both of us too; even though I felt like I could deal with it because I believed it would be worth it in the end, I guess he just couldn’t handle it, and that’s fair enough. Being away from the person you love constantly changes you. Its heart breaking. I’ll always love the person he is, and forever cherish every amazing memory we ever shared. Our love was epic. The past 2/3 years have been some of the happiest moments of my life- despite it being a rollercoaster at times. And I owe a lot to Luke and will always respect him. I just know now that maybe we’re not meant to be, and that’s ok. As hard as it is to accept that it’s over, and that i’ll never see him again (that part tears me up inside ugh), I’ll always remember him as my first love, and I’ll always appreciate the beautiful times we had together. I still love him, I think I always will, but I’m a big believer in everything happens for a reason, and I know I’ll be stronger from this.

I just want to also say a big thank you to everyone who has gone on this journey with me, for all the love and support and advice shared. It’s helped more than you know. I don’t think I would’ve made it this far without you guys. I’m going to miss being apart of this beautiful little community of long distance and military couples. Even though it didn’t work out for me, I still believe long distance can work and that those who are willing to make it work, no matter the struggles, are some of the strongest and most noblest people around. But just remember, if you’re giving more than you’re getting, if you’re beginning to question your worth, if you’re crying more than you are happy, if you’re the only one holding on and trying to make it work, then you need to be honest and fair to yourself and understand that you deserve so, so much better- and you will find that one day, I promise. A part of me wishes I had’ve realised sooner.

I’m closing a chapter of my life, only to begin a new one. I hope 2019 blesses all of you. Best of luck with everything, I really am rooting for you all!

(I’m also not going to delete this blog. It holds way too many incredible memories and posts of happier times that I would like to look back on in years to come. And although it makes me sad now, I just think its so special and it may also be able to help others to read. But, like I said earlier, this will unfortunately be my last post...

If you’d like to contact me in anyway from now on I will be using my main blog more regularly. You can find me at:

http://tr-anspar-ent.tumblr.com/)

Stay strong, keep fighting through the distance and for the ones you love. Always remember you’re not alone.

Love always,

Hayley x

[quxntumvandyne]

Since The Beginning (Loki x Asgardian!Reader)

Part 2 | Part 3

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: little bit of fighting at the end, two bad words ooooooo

Summary: You and Loki had been friends for as long as you can remember but recently has become overprotective and it’s getting on your nerves. However, what happens when you decide to go on a date with someone and things change between you and Loki? Will your friendship ever be the same?

A/N: FIRST LOKI FIC SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!!-lena

MASTERLIST

. . . . .

“Why of course I’ll go with you.”

“WHAT??”

.

.

.

Growing up, you’d never thought Loki as anything but a friend. Your best friend. You never cared much for Thor’s antics or his extremely loud and enthusiastic personality (which there was nothing wrong with), but more of Loki’s quiet yet clever ways.

You could relate more to him. Ever since childhood, you’ve been attached at the hip and many Asgardians knew it. But those were the old days, and now you two were adults. It never seemed like anything had changed for you about your relationship. You still spent a world of time together and had the best of times. You feel at home with Loki but not in that way.

Right?

You woke up early that morning, feeling rejuvenated from a long night of sleep and made yourself some breakfast in your small abode. It was a perfect size and you liked living alone; most of the time. Sometimes it grew cold and lonely but you enjoyed quiet and personal time. Loki did as well. But even more than that, you two enjoy one another’s company.

It was your birthday soon, so Loki has apparently planned a surprise for you in honor of your birthday. He always does something ridiculous but small, just the way you like it.

Not only would you be spending time with Loki but with some of your other friends as well; Aldis and Runa were coming and bringing their friends, Lambi, Groa, and Herjolf.

You loved your friends, but recently one had been acting a bit different around you.

Lambi was such a sweetheart and had a great personality, not to mention enjoyable to look at. But you’d grown somewhat awkward around each other. You liked being around him as well, but something was keeping you from getting any closer.

Ugh, men could be so confusing and overrated.

You got dressed in a gold and teal A-line dress with some simple matching gold sandals and small black studded earrings. You left most of your hair down but tied two braided small strands of hair together in the back with a small gold flower pin behind your left ear. It was now almost lunch time and you decided to walk down to the little café (a/n: do they have those in Asgard? Idk lol) to meet your friends.

“Y/N!” Runa shrieked in excitement. She and Aldis both ran up to hug you and you were so excited to see them like it had been years. It had only been a week, but for best friends like you three, it felt like years. You also gave gentler hugs to Lambi and Herjolf and lastly Loki, who you hugged a bit longer.

Loki was someone nobody could replace. You had this special bond that nobody understood but you two and you liked it that way. It was your special relationship and nothing could come in between that. At least, that’s what you thought.

“So, Y/N/N any big plans for your birthday?” Lambi asks from across the table. Before you could make a peep, Loki cut in to divert the attention from his master plan for your birthday.

“Oh, there’s a little something planned.” Loki looked over at you and winked, in his true nature, and took another sip of his tea. You knew a bunch of other girls in Asgard had a crush on the adopted son of Odin, but recently whenever he looked at you liked that, your heart would swell and this strange warm feeling in your chest appeared. It has never happened before, except recently when it was Loki’s birthday.

You and your friends (and Thor) threw Loki a big party and Loki took you out on to the dance floor by yourselves and danced together for a whole song. Everyone’s eyes in the whole place were on the two of you and the tension between the two of you had never felt more different. Your eyes were constantly locked on one another the whole song and you could feel the blush that had risen on your cheeks when the song was over. All eyes were on you and you two were attached at the hip the rest of the night.

Since that night, your relationship had felt different but nothing romantic. You didn’t like Loki like that, he was your best friend and you didn’t want to jeopardize that.

“Y/N? Hello?” Aldis said, snapping her fingers in front of your face. You snapped back to reality, feeling a bit embarrassed but also giggling at everyone’s reactions. As long as your friends were happy, you couldn’t ask for more.

You threw away your trash and walked out with your friends, behind Lambi and Herjolf but with Loki behind you.

Loki wasn’t great friends with the other two boys. He never made friends easily, but it never mattered to him because he had his few close friends and you. Loki had become a simpler person after school had ended and he had learned to love the smaller things in life more.

Lambi interrupts your train of thought, by slowing down and walking next to you, Herjolf still in front and your friends chatting away about Odin knows what; Loki was still behind you and you could almost feel him listening.

“Hi, Y/N,” Lambi said, with his hands in his pockets and face a bit pink. Was he nervous about something?

“Hi, Lambi? To what do I owe the pleasure of interrupting your conversation with Herjolf?” You replied smirking, a bit flirtatiously almost but it slipped out that way before you realized what is sounded like. Lambi’s cheeks grew redder by the second as he stumbled on his words.

“Oh you know- um- it wasn’t- we weren’t,” Lambi stuttered and you giggled.

“Lambi, I’m just joking around. What’s going on?”

He lets out a deep breath and loosened his whole body, seeming more relaxed.

“Well, you and I are not all that close, but I was wondering if maybe we could hang out sometime? You know, like just you and me?” He spoke very quickly, but once you figured out what he said, you stood straight like a board.

You were shocked at this question and stopped for a moment. Everyone kept walking until they noticed you had stopped and you must have had a strange look on your face. You could almost feel Loki’s gaze at the back of your head and the daggers he was glaring at Lambi. Everyone had stopped walking and talking, with all eyes on you now but you shook it off and caught back up with Lambi, everyone beginning to walk again. There were few things that caught you off guard, but this was completely out of the blue.

Where did that come from? I mean, going out once with him wouldn’t hurt right? Right?

“Well, it depends on what we’d be doing exactly,” you replied, with your cheeks flushing and the feeling of butterflies in your chest.

“Um, I mean maybe some dinner? Or a night at my house to watch some movies and eat junk food?” he said, seeming unsure of himself.

“We could always figure out the details later,” you said.

“Of course.”

“And this wouldn’t be too close to my birthday, right?”

“Oh no, of course not. That’s much too important to interrupt.”

“Well then, I don’t see why not?” you said.

This time it was Lambi who paused, obviously shocked at your answer to what seemed like a date.

“Really? You would spend a night with me? Wait, I didn’t mean-“

You cut him off to quiet his awkward stutters. “Lambi, yes I would love to go on a date with you.”

He clapped his hands together in excited Lambi fashion. “Fantastic.”

You and Lambi had now drifted to the back of the group, with Aldis, Runa, and Herjolf in the front, laughing and having a nice time and Loki directly in front of you. He seemed to be walking stiffer and you could tell something was up with him but decided to leave it alone until you got closer to your apartment.  

You and Lambi decided to have dinner on Friday night and then go to his house to watch a movie and he would take you home. You hadn’t quite decided why you said yes or how the date would end up going, but it wouldn’t hurt to spend some time with Lambi. Right?

Once everyone had gone home, it was just you and Loki until you reached your apartment and Loki went home. You walked in silence for a good 3 minutes before Loki spoke up.

“So, Lambi?”

You were shocked by his hostile tone and emotionless face. It wasn’t like him to act this way; almost jealous.

“Um, yes. I thought it would be nice, just the two of us and I don’t see why not?” you replied, questioningly. You’d never been out much with other before except a couple and Loki had never acted this way before because of it. It was truely unlike him.

“You do realize, my dear Y/N/N, that he is a bit of an asshole and has a reputation.”

You stopped again on the sidewalk, now upset at Loki’s statement about Lambi. What did he know about Lambi?

“Loki, you’re not even close with Lambi. How would you know that?”

“Y/N, everyone knows it. You’re obviously not paying attention if you don’t. It’s like he flaunts it. He’ll take any girl he can get.”

You audibly gasped as Loki realized what he said. He didn’t mean that, did he?

Well, he wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t believe it.

“Wait. Y/N, that’s not what I-“

“Oh no Loki, I know exactly what you meant.” You walked away, hearing Loki follow you and calling for you. You could feel the wind in your hair and your dress, walking quickly to get away from Loki before you could become more upset with him.

He managed to catch up and grabbed your arm. “Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that, I just want to protect you. I never meant to say that.”

“But you did Loki. And now you can’t take it back. Just get away from me.”

You tried to pull away but Loki’s iron grip prevented you from leaving his grasp.

“LOKI I SAID LET GO!” you screamed at him. You were now crying heavily and you were shaking from anger. Loki only looked at you with despair and regret as he let you go and you turned away and walked home, feelings his eyes on you the entire time.

You finally made it home to your apartment, slammed the door shut and slid down to your knees, hands covering your face and just sobbed.

Loki had never acted this way toward you and he had no reason to. It was just a date. You had never hated him more in a moment; mainly because he usually never gave you a reason to hate him, but you weren’t going to let him ruin your one night with Lambi. You lived your own life and didn’t need Loki to tell you what to do and what not to do.

And if Lambi did end up being an ass, then you’d deal with it yourself and move on.

Maybe from both of them.

.

.

.

OKAY OKAY SO IF YOU WANT ME TO MAKE THIS A THREE PARTER PLEASE LET ME KNOW IN ASKS OR REBLOG/COMMENT!!!!!

I didn’t plan on making it a three parter but I wanted to end it here. I know on a sad note, I’m sorry! But if you want me to continue it, I will and I can make a separate taglist! Of course if you want, I can add you to my permanent one or just this one. Thank you for reading!!

permanent taglist: @magic-marvel​​ @holland-haven​​ @lokis-sunflower-anna​​ @e-ms-world​​ @minnie-marvel​​ @0captain-marvel0​​ @peter-prkers​​ @hedwigthelegend​​ @signed-potato

[mayhemories]

Braids & War Paint (Part 14)

Notes On:

Part 1: / Part 2: / Part 3: / Part 4: / Part 5: / Part 6: / Part 7: / Part 8: / Part 9:/ Part 10: / Part 11: / Part 12: / Part 12.5 (smush, not smut, not fluff but smush) / Part 13: 

B&WP Aesthetics: 

Aelin woke to a cold cot, Rowan was up, tying his boot laces as Aelin stretched out.

She crawled across the furs and reached out to trace patterns down Rowan’s muscled back.

Aelin knew it was selfish to steal these last fleeting moments with Rowan, but Aelin will never regret knowing what his skin felt like or how he lightly snored once he feel into deep slumber.

If she was to die today, she would be thankful for the time she was allowed to spend with him, however short it was. 

Rowan touched his braid, his fingers snagging on the small silver rings.

“What is the matter, Fireheart?” Rowan asked, quietly, like charming a snake, he grasped her wrists and spun Aelin around to face him, maybe, Aelin thought, he wanted to see her face again, one last time. 

“If I die today, Buzzard, it’s up to you to protect my people.” Aelin tried to be lighthearted as she could delivering a message like that. 

Rowan’s eyes softened and his hand ran along Aelin’s identical braid. 

The braids they had shared to signify their marriage. 

“You won’t die today, Aelin, I won’t allow it.” 

Aelin and Rowan sat their for a long while, just holding each other in silence, remembering details of their mate that no one else knew. 

They sat trying to imprint every characteristic of each-other in their memories, so that if one of them left this world today and passed into the shadow vale, all shall be remembered. 

The day had come and Aelin was prepared. She knew what she must give up in order to save many.   

It was noon, the sun was at it’s highest, granting her well of power to overflow, making it easier for her to reach to there otherworld and persuade her grandmother, Deanna, to support her in this conquest.   

 Absentmindedly, Aelin, again, ran her hand along the ringed braid that signified their marriage.   

She sat at the breakfast table with Rowan, Galan, Maeve and her Cadre. 

It made Aelin sick, the food that Maeve had been preparing, while many in her army were bleeding out or dying slowly or feeling the infections enter their mortal meat sacks. 

But here they sat, sausages, toast, eggs, chicken, relish and cheeses all laid out before them, as if they were dining in Maeve’s stone palace, not a battleground. 

“Aelin?” Elide quietly questioned in a way of greeting, Nox and herself pulled the witch mirrors up the hill from the Terrasen camp, into the war torn Doranelle encampment.   

“Elide, brilliant, you two are doing brilliant.”Aelin said, meaning every word, she stood from the breakfast table and waltzed towards her two friends, kneeling down to inspect the mirrors from underneath their thin fabric, not a single chip missing. She was thankful for their interruption, a minute longer of listening to Maeve and Galan might have accidentally caused Aelin to murder. 

“Where should we install them?” Nox asked, his thin wire glasses sliding down his face. 

Aelin had planned for this, when Manon gave her the witch mirrors she said that they must be placed in a trisector, to represent the three faced goddess. 

And Maeve, being the blatantly obvious queen she was, placed her camp on the highest spot of ground. 

“They’ll need to sit across the bay, I want one in the clearing you’ve checked Elide, the other two must sit opposite each other on the cliffs either side of the bay, we must trap them in.” Aelin said, her mark starting to burn on her forehead.   

Nox and Elide quickly got to work as Aelin sat back at the breakfast table, she saw the Cadre share confused, critical looks, Maeve looked bored and Galan... Galan was Galan. But what truely peaked her interest was how Lorcan watched Elide’s every step, every movement. 

“Should I even bother to ask you what the plan is?” Galan muttered, stabbing at a sausage on his plate. Aelin rolled her eyes at her cousin, if he wanted to know the plan he should’ve chosen the right queen to pledge allegiance to. 

Though, Aelin would rather die than have Galan as her lap dog. She didn’t know how they could possibly be related, he was so...spineless.   

“No one knows the plan but me and that’s how it will stay.” Aelin said, making eye contact with her great aunt Maeve across the table, though the sentence was directed at Galan.   

Rowan quickly sent a warning flare down their bond, as if to say, don’t create more trouble than its worth. 

“Why is the inventor here?” Gavriel asked, nodding to where Nox once stood, 

Aelin smirked, before standing to go aid Elide and Nox, saying:

“Inventor, jeweller and blood money enthusiast, actually.” 

Manon was impatient.   

She was passing back and forth in the Rifthold throne room, protracting and retracting her iron maul and claws. 

Her and her Thirteen were suited for battle, they had flown from Morath early in the morning, their wyverns laid soaking up the sun outside, in the glass castle’s gardens.   

There had been no sign from Aelin, Dorian kept trying to assure both Manon and Chaol that 'no news was good news, with Aelin.’   

Dorian sat lounging on his throne, in battle leathers, even though this boy, her mate, had never seen a battle in his life. That was obvious, as he made a bed of blue flowers with his raw power. Chaol scowled at him, but Manon could tell that under all that flesh and angry facade, Chaol was at peace knowing that his newly appointed king had not yet seen blood shed.   

Nesryn Faliq sat at the base of the dais, counting her own weaponry, taking inventory of the Adarlan army. Manon enjoyed her company, she said nothing.   

The doors of the throne room flew open as Manon’s cousin, Asterin - Manon’s second in command, Sorrel, her third and Vesta strolled in from outside.

Asterin had blue blood dried on her fingers, caked on and old. 

“All three mirrors are in place, if Aelin has anything to say, we’ll know.” Asterin said, a bright beaming smile took hold of her tan skin. Her gold flecked black eyes shone with mischief and eagerness that Manon only saw when Asterin was on the back of her wyvern.   

“Well,” Dorian said, sitting upright with a smirk on his face that sent Manon reeling, unbeknownst to anyone. “Now we wait for Aelin.”   

Sorscha sat on the floor near Nesryn, she had only met Aelin for the first time this year and from what Manon could tell, they got on quite well, however anyone could see that Sorscha was upset about being Dorian’s personal healer on a battlefield, Manon discreetly could sense that Sorscha resents the whole situation, anger directed at Aelin wasn’t a first, but anger from Sorscha, directed at anyone, was most definitely a first.   

“What is so brilliant about Aelin, anyway?” Sorscha asked, her innocent voice was held by a child’s pout. 

Nesryn narrowed her eyes at the healer, Chaol seemed to fall back in time, probably remembering his fling with Aelin, no doubt, Asterin rolled her eyes at the girl. But it was Dorian who was most offended. 

He stood and walked to one of the large windows, looking out towards Abraxos. 

Manon knew that Dorian could never be angry at Sorscha, as he romantically cared for her a few summers ago, it was just not in Dorian’s nature to be angry at anyone.   

But he was seething.

That one backhanded comment sent the newly crowned king of Adarlan into a quiet frenzy within his own mind, Dorian would defend Aelin until he bled out and everything in the world turned dark and died. Dorian still loved Aelin, not romantically, not anymore, but Dorian loved Aelin like a sister, Dorian loved Aelin as much as Aelin loved herself. 

Manon was sure she could slice the tension in the air with Wind-Cleaver, but Dorian beat her to it, speaking calmly, quietly, like a whisper on the wind in the Wastes. 

“Her Majesty, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, Queen of Terrasen and the wildfire, heir of Brannon, blessed by Mala, child of Deanna, blessed of Mab and Mora, bringer of light, the queen whom was promised.” Dorian turned and looked at Sorscha, his blue eyes burning with that raw power that Manon had learned to crave. “Is brilliant because she will not forget, she will not forgive, and she will not be afraid.”

Lady Ansel of Briarcliff was wet, cold and miserable. And gods be damned, when she saw Aelin again, you best believe that Ansel will tell her just that. 

Ansel stood on the bow of Captain Rolfe, heir of the Mycenians flagship. 

Ansel hated the ocean, she hated looking down into the water beside her and seeing sea dragons underneath her. Ansel hated the fact that she’d do anything for Aelin, she thought as she looked out at the armada that had set out to aid her, 'stop a war before it truely begins’ is what Aelin had penned in her letter. 

Ansel had rallied her finest soldiers, mercenaries, assassins and friends, hauled ass to Skull’s Bay, boarded Captain Rolfe’s ships, alongside his pirate friends and Mycenian soldiers. 

Aelin wasn’t just rallying an army, she was rallying a revolution. 

Ansel put her hand on her wolf pommeled sword and swayed in the salt stained breeze, Rolfe only a few metres away copied her actions, placing his tattooed hand on his sea dragon pommel. Black spots formed on his tattoo, signifying what the believe to be the Valg that Aelin had warned them of. 

So, the Golden Wolf and the Sea Dragon sailed across the sea to aid their friend, repay debts, end tyranny and birth a new world. 

A:N/ Finna bout time I uploaded. 

1.6k words. 

Hope y’all enjoyed this somewhat. :)

If you’d like to be tagged, just ask. 

Many kisses and hugs,

-El. 

@2-bookmaster-2 @aelin-and-feyre @rowanismybae @sparkleywonderful @cassiancalore @igniscorde7112 @illyrian-high-lord @daughterxofxnight @bigsis227 @crazybookladythings @gcarroll @sugarcoated44 @wolffrising @notjustanyoldfangirl @bluephoenix222 @readinglikewildfire @fck-tamlin @and-re123

[jonnestt]

Fear of Self

Orianna steps out of a portal into Yahti’s study. Flying through the pages of a book sits Drakar, the marshals sword at his side. Only on the note of Yahti’s voice does he stop. “Ori, you came. Thank you!” He speaks, not awaiting an answer: “The matter may not be live or death, but… it’s important.” “I can see that.” Orianna replies, “what is it?” “Names, doomed names!” he curses. Oriannas expression prompts him to continue: “Before the attack on maguma, Yahti told me about theories on the nature of the eternal alchemy. One of them was… How do I explain it.” He continues: “The idea is, our world is nothing more than the setting of a story. They explained it as a simulation. Like a book that you don’t read but... live through.” “And names change that idea in how far?” She leads, which strings Drakar along: “Your name. Orianna Dion, already tells your story. Janna, in an old human dialect, meant as much as ‘gift’ and Orr is the palace you gave back to the world. Dion as well, Dion...” “Of god and man.” She interrupts. Thrown back Drakar stares. “You know?” Orianna nods: “The priests at Queens Heart were almost as interested in my familie’s history as I was. But, what did you want to say.” Now calmer, Drakar continues: “You remember the bloodstone remnant?” Orianna nods again. “Yes, I believe” Drakar explains, “what happened that night. It turned you into what could have been considered a god.”

The hand of the Mursaat pushes into the gouging wound of her chest to grasp a shard of red glass. With a twist of his arm she jolts ins quiet pain. Before she falls unconscious, the bloodstone heart had taken to his will.

Yahti speaks up behind her: “The fact that your name mirrors your live so directly could speak as hypothesis for the idea of you being the protagonist of this worlds story.” Drakar nods, looking somewhat disturbed. To another question for explanation Yahti explains: “It could mean that we are, in effect, puppets with no agency. But that would also state that we are not conscious either, making that fact rather meaningless. But…” Orianna interrupts him: “Only what I need to know, please.” “Of course,” he replies, “on how you should act, or see the world, this question is entirely irrelevant.”

Hot beats her heart, pumping blood near violently, pulsing flows still hardening as they creep upon her skin. The Forgotten still leaning over her now speaks. “I have given you a chance. Do not waste it.” Shook Drakar runs back towards his friend, ripping the jacket from his back to press it into the wound. “I’m gonna fix this. Don’t worry.” Tears flow from his eyes as he feels the wet pressure pump, “Yahti’s getting help. Stay with me.” Moments flow, painfully, but then her hand lifts. A heartbeat of quiet stands between them, but Drakar cannot help but doubt.

“No! Nonono! No story is perfectly continuous. Most of the experiences of the characters never actually happen!” Drakar rants, but Yahti interrupts him: “That is irrelevant, because for the brief instances of their existence, they perceive their memories as real.” “But,” Drakar begins, yet Orianna interrupts him: “My name already has a story.” He looks on asking. “Yes, it does.” She continues, “They did call me Orianna, because my ancestros were one of the few families to escape Orr. To the priests at Queens Heart I was Orrs gift.” Drakars face paints a startled look, as she speaks, “And my family name, when Abaddon died, and Kormir ascended. Not all of Abaddons magic was absorbed by her. My” she’s unrolling her fingers as she counts “great great great grandfather had fallen only moments before Abaddons death. He believed he died that day. But the surge of magic must have revived him. And in, what my family history calls monumental hybris, he took the name Dion.” A smirk grows over Drakars face as silence falls over the room.

From the shadows a known face unveils. A warping sound. Then three run past, to the dying woman. “A pulse is there.” One speaks, “Commander? Can you hear me?” the other asks. “Good,” he continues, “we’ll stabilize you, the wound needs to stop bleeding both inside and out. Then we can get you out of here and fix you up.” A hand lays softly on Drakars shoulder, pulling him backwards. For a moment he hesitates. until a charr paw takes place besides his, on the cloth. “Good job. We got ’er. Keep the way clear.” She commands, breathing life into his heart for just a moment. Then he turns.

After a moment of silence, Drakar speaks up: “I,” “I will need to think about this one more time.” Orianna nods. “But,” Drakar speaks, “can I share a fear with you?” She answers: “Of course. It’s safe with me.” The Asura at her side nods too. “My name.” Drakar says, “it means as much as ‘dragon’ or ‘scaled beast’ and…” he gulps, “If the name theory is correct, that would mean…” But Orianna speaks up to interrupt him: “You’ve got to know Aurene, she’s a dragon.” “She might not be full-grown yet, but she’s not evil. So even if this theory is correct, there is no reason to believe you’ll turn evil.” But his anguish doesn’t fade. “I’ve done some bad things already.” He says, “I worked for the inquest. And Traherns death. And I was it, who lead you to the Fragment! Who had this monumentally dumbfounding idea!” “But It worked.” Orianna states “No one needs to worry about this shard anymore. And I didn’t die.” She receives a questioning look, “Not for long.. And Trahern. Mordremoth turned him into a vessel. You were just able to do what I couldn’t!” Silence moves in. Then she states: “You haven’t had bad intentions since your days at the inquest. Don’t think of yourself as anything but heroic. Please.” “I.” he looks back. “I will take that as an order, Commander.”

“Colour. It is truely good to see you!” Drakar states, still shivering with fear. The woman nods: “So it was worth keeping an eye on you.” she turns, “Don’t worry, she’s survived the hardest part already.” At the entrance of the cave Yahti waits. Pacing he speaks in a low voice: “This whole stealth thing makes me anxious. How do I know he” pointing at a construct “doesn’t hear me?” In reaction Drakar lays an arm onto his shoulder. Jokingly, the man wispers, “This does help.” “You aren’t hurt?” Drakar asks, being answered by a shaking head: “A few bruises. I’m surprised about it myself, but exordium was between me and the shard.” Drakars reply rings “Good.” before he turns towards the mesmer. “You have plans on how to get Ori out?” But his partner interrupts: “Not willing to talk about yourself?” More ashamed than irritated, Drakar answers: “That’s not it. Just nothing to report.” After a heartbeat Yahti replies: “That’s good news. Exactly what I hoped to hear.” Moments later the Mesmer answers his question: “A portal is prepared. Two others will bring us to the camp in the mountains. But Orianna will need better aid.”

Yahti reaches for Oriannas hand: “I will have a talk with Taimi, do you want to see what she’s up to this time?” “Of course.” She answers, “Hopefully not working herself to the bone again?” Moments after they exit the portal, Yahti speaks: “Thank you.” Orianna looks towards him. “I mean it!” He states. “I love this man from the depths of my heart, but he can’t stand on his own legs sometimes.” “He was asking pretty big questions there.” Orianna replies, “And… I can’t imagine how it must be, to believe you’re turning into one of your own people’s enemies.” “So you believe him?” Yahti asks. Yet Orianna rejects, “No. But I understand his fear.”

[notefromjenny]

11/04/2021

Note from Jenny - 6 years of disconnect.

I don't know how to start this, so I thought I'd start with how I got to the decision to write this in the first place.

It was March 14th 2021 and I locked the backdoor of my house in Wallsend with my facemask ready. Satisfied that my home was secure I ran around the front of the house, crossed the path to my front door and exited the garden gate to the street in front of me. Adrian pulled up in his car and I hopped inside ready to depart. It had been 370 days since I last seen my mother in person and I was very much looking forward to finally embracing her again after so long.

As adrian drove through newcastle, it had been more than a year since I had been into town properly but surprisingly it wasn't the most recent memories that came to my mind but the ones from long before then that flittered through my head.

Although I had not seen my mother for over a year I had not lived in Prudhoe for over 4. Even during the last year of living in prudhoe it had been at a push 2 years since I had truely been around the local area. It dawned on me that the memories that felt so recent in my head infact were from long ago. I wasn't a teenager anymore, not even a young adult, I had grown up, and that thought was very scary.

The juxtaposition bounced around in my head as the little car Adrien drove passed Prudhoe castle and turned onto castle road, a road I had walked many many times before with many other people. People who are now strangers to me. How did that happen? I asked myself as if I was expecting an answer. 

4 hours later my mother, Adrian and I returned to my old home, a place I was surprised did not resemble my memories at all. I retraced the stairwell upto the landing as I had thousands of times before and walked into a room with completly white walls, a tall brown wardrobe and a double bed with white sheets. My childhood bedroom was erased.

I was utterly caught of guard at the sadness I felt by gazing over this blank canvas. I think what I wasn't prepared to experience was the loss of a symbol. That room once symbolized all the joy and companionship of all who I had invited into my world, a world changed by time. I couldn't help but settle on the notion that with the decease of this symbol so too was the door to my world, a once shared connection, ended. 

I think we all have a defining moment like these, where you look at a picture of a younger self and then hold the mirror and realise the two arn't alike any more. Whether good or bad is not for me to say, but true none the less. Am I unhappy? No. I am the most me I have ever been. I'm the healthiest and happiest I have ever been. Cutting away the past allowed me to ascend into the person I needed to be. But staring into the mirror I recognise a part of my life I never meant to leave behind.

Shouting down the stairs, I ask to know what happened to all my things? I did not leave the room the way it is now. Following keen direction I come across a pile of my old things: old sketchbooks, school notes, cds, dvds, an xbox, trash, so much trash and curiously, an extrernal harddrive. For a moment I consider leaving it all, putting a lid on the bottle of nostalgia and marching on in my easily distracted life. But a part of me has been reminded of a version of myself that i want know better.

For a long time now I have avoided the past. For my entire life I have struggled with finding my place in the world. Untill I met my fiance I truely felt alone and confused and for the first 2 to 3 years of my relationship with her there was a part of me that worried I wasn't capable of being a significant other.

The hardest year in my relationship was my 3rd year with her, we lived in North Shields in an upstairs flat we did not choose. There was a myriad of personal challenges we both went through that year but I am so glad life ran it's course as it did, because for the first time in my life I went to the doctors about my mental and social challenges. 

I did not get a clear answer untill I moved into my current house and after 15 months of referrals and during the beginning of 2020's first lockdown I received the the first of two interviews with a psychologist. 

My mother had told me my whole life not to label myself, but in all honesty the fact I could finally put myself in a box, knowing that there are others out there that thought and struggled like me was liberating. I wish I had known sooner that I'm autistic.

What I learned amongst other things about myself is that my biggest weakness was also my strength. People with autism often experience what is called an "autistic fixation". There is no rhyme or reason to a fixation and it is incredibly difficult or impossible for a fixated person to deviate from their focus. I can spend days or even months chasing a fixation. It can be as mundane as a tv show, or as complicated as business operations, math or science. 

During that worst year of my relationship my partner was suffering from various trauma regarding her mental health. For 6 months I barely recognized this, because I was fixated on illustrating pictures. It's hard for me to think about this because I remember been genuinely clueless and yet in hindsight I feel the worst person ever.

I used to think people with autism were selfish, that it was in there nature to be self centred, but I realise now that it's not their fault, it's not even a choice.

What does this have to do with you? Why bother tell you any of this? 

I remember our friendship, stronger in my mind recently because of walking down memory lane. I still think about all of our adventures and that as a young autistic boy, ignorant to his own self, isolated from the world behind a barrier of misunderstandings, that you made me feel like I could be myself. That it was okay to be different, that I'm allowed to  be different. You made me feel accepted and gave me a place to open up.

I remember the end of our contact with one another. I remember you reaching out to me and I got the impression you were struggling, I remember being so overwhelmed by my own challenges that I barely responded to you when I thought you truely needed me. 

I could be mistaken, I could be misinterpreting my memories, but I feel guilt. If what I recall is correct, I feel like I abandoned you. Abandoned you because I got lost down a fixation. I feel frustrated because I remember feeling in my gut that you were reaching out to me for a crutch, some support, the kind of support you had given to me and I stood you up. I hate that we lost touch. I believe it is my fault and I hate that I let it happen.

I don't know what you were going through, I don't know what you've went through since. I hope you are okay, that like me you've learnt more about yourself, that there is parts of you that you can't control but despite that you know that the sun can still shine. 

I want to say if my actions, or lack of, caused you any suffering I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I let you down, that I took your support and didn't return it. I can only imagine, if what I remember is correct, that I made you feel insignificant, that when I said you meant alot to me that the thought of that been a lie was proven in your mind by my actions and behaviour. I genuinely felt like you were my best friend at one time, I take full responsibility for not living upto that.

You deserved better from a friend. I'm trying to face who I was and not feel shame. I'm still ashamed I did things that I didn't mean too, and even if at the time I didn't know I'd done it, I can say with confidence I'm ashamed I chose to lose touch with you.

Would you even want to be my friend again?

[justanotherpasafrisk]

Rapture just took another long drag off her smoke as she watched what was going on carefully and even listened to what he had to say.

"Its alot for one person to go through, im sorry all thay had to happen to you, I'll talk to the creators and see if they can give you a mental break...but they have been scheeming lately...which means disater is on its way."

Rapture looked distant, as if she was looking at something beyond comprehension. Then she paused and looked back at him.

"So your chaseing after my father and want to kill him yes? Well...i have some information for you...for better or for worse, I can explain why people hate him...and why he dosnt understand that what he dose is bad."

Rapture took another drag off her cigarette and let out another cloud of rainbow smoke that seemed to provide a visual.

"In the begining, he was a sketch, a concept put together in a world of concepts, no one had a soul, no one could think or even feel, well...no one other than Ink. He tried every day to bring life and light into a world of black and white pictures, this went on for years and then...the creator who had only partly made everything...juat gave up."

With another drag of her smoke, she contined the story.

"Ink was devistated, he coulsnt handle it anymore, no one around to understand him or even try, none of them had souls and couldnt think for themselves...so he took his own soul, and ripped it to pices, scattering it...and himself...the creators were upset by this, so they gathered his code and put him some place he could recover. When he woke up, he was soulless...emotionless. So he just sat there and waited for a very long time...until one day, he receeved another gift from the creators, a drop of golden paint manifested and fell onto him, suddenly he was filled with emotions, he could feel for the first time in an eturnity, and he cried, laughed, played, but soon the effects of the paint faided and he was left without emotions again, each time the paint came, he became a new person, until once, he decided to bottle those paints so that he would never haveto be without emotions ever again..."

Rapture smiled softly this time as she puffed out the rainbow smoke.

"He learned that he liked playing pranks, he learned that he couldnt be aroubd emotionless people or in white spaces or it would give him panic attacks, he learned...that he could travel to placea that were already compleet...he made friends...enemys and he even fell in love once or twice...but hes still soulless...and he cant understand how his actions affect people physically or emotionally."

Rapture was aware that this didnt excuse his actions but she continued.

"People findnit hard to be around him, he has a hyperactive personality, he talks to much, and he has the memory of a goldfish. He hasto use the viles of paint on his sash to be able to feel properly and he dosnt pay attention to his kids as much as he really should...but...truely...hes not a bad guy..."

Shes probably bored Alex to death at this point, she wonders if he was even listening to all that, but her smoke was gone, ans she put the butt in her ashtray with the rest.

@onecrazyralseifangirlnamedlexi

Mknachrome was a simple skeleton girl, she had simple wants and even simpler needs. But even so, her father still couldnt seem to keep the memory of takeing care of her. He was gone now, off to save the multiverse or something. Mona thought he was so cool, she wanted to be just like him! Even though she didnt understand why he had to leave her alone...but that was ok! She was a big girl! And big girls could multiverse travel without parental guidence!

"Monachome is off an another adventure! What amazing sights will she see this time!"

She narrated for herself as she walked up to one of the multiverse doors and walked through, marching forward with determination. She got into the timeline and immedeatly felt regret...this was an underfell timeline, somenof the Royal guard dogs had started cornering her as 'free EXP'

"H...hey! I c...can fight you! You'll regret it though!"

She was shakeing and her eyescokets were watering up as she looked at the big scary dogs.

[newavakinlifecheats-blog]

New Avakin Life Cheats

New Avakin Life Guide

New Avakin Life manual is a guide for a famous new game. When you have chosen a product / condo, click on the picture of the present and select the name of a pal to make a gift. You may additionally send a praise to a player from the same place. Click on on the individual you want to praise, click the "present" button and choose the object you want from the list. You'll no longer be deducted budget until the consumer accepts the gift. I gave the object to any other player, but it does no longer appear in their stock. Then on occasion going out buying or ingesting espresso, in addition to going to events and swimming swimming pools, ... all of the maximum stunning, high priced, and costly things inside the world can be modeled and simulated via telephone handiest. There you're the primary man or woman. Instead, every body here is the main individual. Which means that the game will assist you build a miniature society proper on the internet. Absolutely everyone concerned in the sport can create a lovely identity for themselves and then meet friends. The "partitions" and "floors" tabs will seem in the front of you, permitting you to change their color. The way to boom the level? Level up by using earning xp (revel in factors). You may earn xp by using speaking with different players, taking part in a cafe or bar, buying goods. The way to make my man or woman take a seat or lie? Your person can sit on sofas and armchairs, in which there are suitable seats. You may also purchase numerous poses or animations to your person in the store. Vibrant and full of adventures, visiting and new human beings round, it is, in reality, a tightly inhabited unfastened chat with superior avatar building. Life simulation is a special kind of sport, adventurous and meditative at the identical time. Think about what you need to see your lifestyles like, and act to get it. Avakin life is an environment complete of fun and possibilities, that welcomes you to turn out to be what you want to see in the mirror. There may be no straight assignment in this sport, even though it incorporates a few quests that allows you to improve your degree. Literally this isn't truthful!! I want others have been able to see my clothes :'((( i am so poor so i can't purchase high-priced garments whyyyyy i understand it is a truely suitable recreation however !. I do not recognize why for all i'm bare when i am garments restoration it so i'm dressed for all pls bro, pls make it mod menu....mod is vastly special from mod menu.the real joy is there even as playing it with the menu..the lockwood has deleted all of the websites which add the mod menu version....pls investigate it bro pls👍🏻 avakin life is a social function-gambling sport on the way to take the person to a colourful virtual global. My account is blocked / suspended. Am i able to make a refund? In case your account is blocked / suspended, you aren't entitled to money back. I forgot my password, what am i able to do in this case? When you have forgotten your password, use the login menu by using clicking on the "forgot password" panel. Input your email, then it'll get hold of an email with instructions. If you certain a non-existent electronic mail while registering an account, contact customer service via clicking on the red contact us button. To keep away from further conversation with this participant, block him. I witnessed unlawful moves while gambling avakin existence, what must i do? Record a grievance towards a participant by clicking on the correct subject inside the participant's profile. Provide as much records as viable.examples of unlawful acts include: if a fake grievance is found, action can be all for admire for your account. Filing complaints can be based totally on personal hostility or filing a complaint in retaliation. I filed a complaint in opposition to some other player, but he is still gambling. From the very beginning, whilst you pick the advent for your individual, you will see that it looks and sounds tremendous. Beaches and sports golf equipment, bars and houses, all of them appearance cool and sound cool. Heh, they even write club tune with avakin existence noted in house tracks! So the game is awesome, its genuinely three-d, and it sounds just as excellent because it looks. Avakin existence offers inexhaustible opportunities for constructing your virtual life. Assembly new people in an lively chat is greater thrilling, as you see what they are attempting to represent. Limitless money: mod Avacoins in this game is impossible due to the fact this is an internet recreation. A internet site that says they've the mod model is faux at all. Be careful with that. On account that that is an internet game, so mod unlocks costumes & objects will simplest work for you. Other gamers will no longer see your clothes. I have attempted this mod and at the beginning, it worked simply first-class and it helped me degree up so quickly however once i try to down load it now it barely works, i love avakin lifestyles mods they used to paintings however for some purpose, different humans can't see the clothes, poses, dances or whatever you operate in-sport if you're the use of the mod and i significantly don't understand why?! You could even win a jackpot prize. There are 2,000 questions in the game, divided into five categories: music, celebrities, style, films and entertainment. Questions range from notable simple to extremely complex. You can use 3 hints to reply the maximum tough questions. Use them accurately: gamers who do no longer play the quiz can take a look at the individuals and discuss questions, however cannot answer any of them. Questions and solutions are in english handiest. Participation within the quiz expenses 1 avacoin, that is then no longer refundable. A yellow token reduces production time by way of 1 hour.a blue token reduces production time via 1 day. Yellow tokens are brought each 12 hours or earned through viewing ads inside the interface of a production device. In which to find the object that i built? When an item is finished, it's miles mechanically brought on your stock.please take a look at carefully. If you cannot locate the object inside the stock, contact assist by means of clicking "no" after which "contact us" on your screen. Why cannot i exchange the shade of the walls and floor? Optionally circulate furniture and decorations to create area inside the house. This also allows you benefit a variety of revel in factors to degree up. "work hard, play hard". After a hard day of work, the evening is when you wear the most beautiful, most expensive clothes and take part in parties in the city, be it a nightclub or a lively music party at your friend's house. If you are a person who likes to meet, date and chat with strangers, this is a great place for you because avakin life features to chat with people around. After confirming your application, you can share this with your friends on social networks to advertise your participation in the contest. After starting the game you need to give permission to write data to the device's memory. This permission will allow avakin life to save account data and photos in the device's memory. How do i link my avakin life account to google play? First of all, you need to link your account to a valid e-mail or google play. After that, go to settings> account> logout. Conviértelo en un punto de reunión privado para ti y tus amigos o invita a todo el mundo a echarle un vistazo. Comparte tu espacio con tu petkin favorito: escoge un amigo ideal para ti de una amplia selección de petkins, interactúa con él, dale afecto y cuida su alimentación. ¡y eso no es todo! Además, podrás darle un estilo único a tu avatar: exprésate probando cientos de estilos de ropa, peinados, tatuajes y accesorios exclusivos. Actualizado con regularidad con nuevos muebles, entornos y animaciones de avatar para darle a avakin una nueva vida... ¡avakin life! For the first time, online will have their chances to engage in the complete virtual online gameplay that features every aspect of the actual world. Enjoy yourself in the exciting 3d world, in which you can feel free to be your own person. Enjoy the simple and effective communication features and meet new people in avakin life. Make new friends as you join them in your adventures in avakin life. Experience a complete second life like never before. Switch between different looks by having varied clothes or just simply change your hairstyles. Can i turn on my music in the apartment? Yes. You need to purchase shoutcast radio in the store to play music. Where can i get my own apartment and what does it give me? You can purchase your own apartment by going to the store, in the "apartments" section, where you can choose something to your liking. After that, you can decorate and equip the apartment to your taste by buying your favorite furniture and decor items in the store.you can also chat with friends and send messages while in your apartment. These games give players the pleasure of discovering a whole new world by themselves, allowing us to do whatever we want without paying attention to rules. Avakin life by lockwood publishing is also such a game. The game was released on april 22, 2016, so far the game has reached over 10 million downloads on google play. In the beautiful 3d world, you can comfortably dress up, shop, explore and meet, make friends with other players around the world. This is a great opportunity for you to have a second life, trying to be the person you dreamed of. After confirming your application, you can share this with your friends on social networks to advertise your participation in the contest. After starting the game you need to give permission to write data to the device's memory. This permission will allow avakin life to save account data and photos in the device's memory. How do i link my avakin life account to google play? First of all, you need to link your account to a valid e-mail or google play. After that, go to settings> account> logout. My account is blocked / suspended. Can i make a refund? If your account is blocked / suspended, you are not entitled to a refund. I forgot my password, what can i do in this situation? If you have forgotten your password, use the login menu by clicking on the "forgot password" panel. Enter your e-mail, then it will receive an email with instructions. If you specified a non-existent e-mail when registering an account, contact customer support by clicking on the red contact us button. Do you want to become a hero of your kingdome? Then download this game and battle with the wave of evils to protect your kingdom. Now you can teleport your avakin avatar to anywhere using teleport mod. Just choose whether you want to teleport and activate the mod. This mod will increase your avakin life avatar level. As we know, when we open a game for the first time, it starts at level zero. I know, you are getting unlimited money in this mode from which you can buy any dance emote, but this mod is useful when you like someone's dances. It's easy to put furniture when you know how to do it! First of all, open the apartment editing mode: how to drag items of furniture? Drag the item you like from the category into the furniture grid on the screen. Move the furniture along the grid and release it so that the object falls into place. How to move the furniture? To move furniture, click on the item and hold with one finger. Use your second finger to move left and right to rotate the item. My apartment has several floors and rooms, how to arrange furniture in other rooms? Your character should be in the same room that you would like to furnish. If you are unable to put the furniture, try, try rotating the camera. Can i put one item on another? You can place small objects on tables by dragging them to the surface. Do i have to file complaints with other players? Only file a complaint if a player is aggressive or violates the avakin life rules. Organize an unforgettable party and invite your avakin life friends to dance with you and have fun. The best 3d simulation game where you can be a person you always wanted to be in your virtual life. Be a hero or even a villain, whatever you want to complete your dream. Chat with the world's largest virtual game community and make new friends every day also enjoy role-playing with dozens of exciting locations. Below, i am giving you the most straightforward way yo download avakin life mod. If this seems hard, then you can see the below screenshot for better understanding. Note: uninstall any previously installed version of the game; otherwise, it will show an error during the installation process. Below, i am answering some questions that my friends asked me about this game. If you think i didn't pick up your question, then you can comment down. I would love to solve your queries. Yes, you can, but you need an android emulator installed on your desktop. You can buy the top fashion brand clothes in the world. When starting the game, you are offered some money to buy and unlock some types of clothes that you like. Money and experience points can be earned by working and doing daily tasks. Of course. No matter which world you need to work if you want to have money. However, unlike the real world, avakin life allows you to choose any job you love without any experience, college degree or any other requirement. Please note that the use of filters is not available on these devices: how to send a message to the general chat? Go to the location and select the globe icon in the chat window. Will avakin life work on my device? Avakin life is available on platforms such as android, apple, amazon mobile devices, and the facebook gameroom on pc. We recommend using devices with at least 2gb of ram. How to give a friend a present? Any store item or apartment can be presented to a friend. As soon as you leave the editing mode, the player will start playing again. Will shoutcast affect the amount of mobile data i use? Like any other streaming service, shoutcast can transfer large amounts of data. We recommend connecting to wifi before using shoutcast. How to use a construction machine? In a construction machine, you can build things absolutely free! Items that can be built in a construction vehicle are marked with a blue icon in the store. To build an item: use acceleration tokens to speed up the construction process! Plus, bring your home to life with brand new interactive furniture. • relax in the luxurious cannaregio courtyard with an extravagant jaguar petkin. Complete the scene with striking golden fashion pieces from cloud nine. • relax in the luxurious cannaregio courtyard with an extravagant jaguar petkin. Complete the scene with striking golden fashion pieces from cloud nine. • relax in the luxurious cannaregio courtyard with an extravagant jaguar petkin. Complete the scene with striking golden fashion pieces from cloud nine. • reconnect with nature in the rainforest retreat social spot. The easiest way to get items is to buy them at the store for Avacoins. Avacoins can be purchased at the store, in the appropriate section. Some products can be built in a construction machine or obtained from the mysterious box by looking at advertisements in which Avacoins, crystals, and unique products can be served. When you switch to photo mode, you will be asked to use filters. When you select the one you like, click "set as apartment photo" in the lower left corner. Not only choose a character that possesses the right appearance, but you can also custom the skin color, hairstyle, face, and clothing. A tall, masculine guy with a romantic hair and stylish clothes? A cute, cheerful girl who always smiles with the guys around? A hip-hop guy possessing a unique, "crazy" style? If you had an idea about the character, why don't you make it today? Avakin life encourages players to create special styles. The game has hundreds of types of hair, clothes, shoes, skirts and more. Someone offered me free coins. What to do? This is a popular fraud method called phishing. You will be asked to provide an e-mail and account password, but this is not worth it! Never share your account information with third parties! I wanted to purchase an item in the store, but now i can not find it in the store. How to find him?use the search bar in the lower right corner of the store. Some products appear in the store for a limited time.similar products can be identified by the corresponding timer icon. It's easy to put furniture when you know how to do it! First of all, open the apartment editing mode: how to drag items of furniture? Drag the item you like from the category into the furniture grid on the screen. Move the furniture along the grid and release it so that the object falls into place. How to move the furniture? To move furniture, click on the item and hold with one finger. Use your second finger to move left and right to rotate the item. Where to find the item that i built? When an item is completed, it is automatically added to your inventory.please check carefully. If you cannot find the item in the inventory, contact support by clicking "no" and then "contact us" on your screen. Why can't i change the color of the walls and floor? Not all apartments have a similar function. If you look at the list of apartments in the store, you will understand in which apartments you can change the color of walls and floors using the icon with the paint roller icon. He loves to organize parties. Are you not tired of planning a party literally to download avakin life to plan a party? Haha, i was just a boy, you could have a party at home and at games. Your life, party wherever you want. If you have a life, then live happily. But there are some people who haven't been able to organize groups in real life. Because they are so busy with their work, those people shouldn't have to worry, avakin life mod made for them, download and organize groups as much as possible.

[artdjgblog]

​Innerview: Pete Dulin / Present Magazine​

January 2007

Art & Photo: DJG

Note: Interview for a Kansas City, MO art and culture blog.​

0​1) How long have you been designing posters and CD packaging/artwork?

If I were to say I’ve been designing this stuff since Mom gave birth, well you might think me to be pompus, new agey and bit queer. However, in the past few years I’ve come to the conclusion that everything I’ve experienced has brought me to this point. Information has been at a constant and consistently carried in the backpack(s). Though, it’s more the matter of channeling that. I’ve always been making things. To put things into a more professional, or “text book” answer, I’m in the sixth year developing a bad back of my own accord. And tack on another four and a half of formal training before that. In which two of those I was making things for people on the side. So, really about 7 or 8 years in a design sense, but only offically five under my DJG belt. So, I’m still a youngster. But, I feel design years add up like dog years. ​0​2) How would you describe your approach or design aesthetic? With certain I have my influences and I’ve had formal training. However, the majority of the time is spent not thinking, rather just doing. And I’m not trying to push athletic shoes. Each day my head gets up different. I am always hungry and eat food the same way. I always put my pants on the same way. I lock the door the same way. I walk the same way. That stuff is all automatic. It’s my head that differs. As the mush upstairs is assembling for the day, my thinking and process(es) tends to come different, though it can all be intuitive to me at the same time. True, somedays I’m not in any shape to win the pennant, nor even give a care about art or design. Yes, I do crank out the work by just doing…and my portfolio is always eating. But, I still feel I’m the laziest guy in my woom, even on a good day. I don’t really consider myself an artist or a designer. I just enjoy the act of making those things but there are moments I just don’t feel like it. When design isn’t doing “it” for me, I read or write or watch things. If I’m not doing anything, I have to be doing something. And I’ve quit the whole notion of actually being something other than just myself. And my self is not always in the mood for me. And I don’t think about a design being good enough to measure-up or anything silly like that. It just has to feel right and true within me. I can tell when something feels forced and without life. For me, the work has to be breathing and has to say something. Now, whatever it conversates to the viewer/audience is all up in the air. It’s always a hoot to hear what others think. Back on the subject of others’ talk of an aesthetic. This is one of the few times I truely think about how I’m doing things. I then start overthinking and that can be a dangerous place. People come to me all the time and say things like, “Oh, you are really great at this and are such a skillfull artisan of the such ‘n’ such…(more nonsense fluff ensues).” This is a complement I suppose, but I tend to take it as a way of them saying that it’s all coming to easy for me. I am my only competition so this is when I start to push myself a bit harder. I’ve got to stay ahead of myself. I like the silly idea of someone doing their best work every day. I don’t know how long I’ll be around, but I hope I’m always doing my best work from my perspective. ​0​3) Historically, society has shifted from the Age of Mechanical Reproduction since the advent of the printing press to the Age of Digital Reproduction. Why is it still important to make a man-made mark on something seemingly short-lived as a band flyer or poster? In taking foundation courses during my first year of formal education we did not use computers. Everything was very basic, hands-on cutting and pasting and drawing fundamentals of design. My friends were complaining about how they couldn’t wait to get on the computer. Personally, I was so naive and so in love with making things by hand (ever since I could remember working my fingertips as a child) that the idea of designing with a computer was not in my vocabulary. I stated to my friends how I was going to take the route of design that didn’t include the aid of computers. They simply laughed at my lunacy. Being that it was the late ‘90s, it was inevitable that we’d be using computers. What’s funny now is that for some odd reason I’ve been able to succeed a bit working with my hands and most of the people I went to school with tire of staring at their computer screen day jobs. I definately appreciate a computer and I use one. But, I think of it only as a tool. I use it as a way to ease production a bit and of course it can be a time saver for layout and print. The problem with computers, the internet and desktop publishing gear is that anybody can be a designer. It’s definately eased things I suppose, but we’ve got people cranking out the most obtrusive visual clutter. I don’t aim to sound arrogant. It’s just that everybody thinks they know what they are doing. Everybody wants the cliche in high-gloss makeup, filled to the brim and in suffocation galore. Why not? We over-consume everything else. It’s just sad to me. I even see trained designers doing it. And most everything just feels so fake and soulless. When I first saw those early cave paintings in grade school text books, something about those expressions just delighted me and it felt right and true. And now when I see graffiti on the wall or a shopping list or letter I just think about the heart and energy behind it all. One of the best things that ever happened to me (with design) is when my computer crashed about five years back and I lost the ability to use 2,000 some fonts. When I had them, I tried to use them appropriately and sparingly. But, they were nothing but a crutch to me. Rarely do I use computer fonts now. If I do there better be a reason or a restraint in my time. I just found it important to really speak honestly with my work. Each day is different and so is my voice and thought. Hand scrawls, handmade type and thumbprints bring forth the idea of a human identity and feels like thought and life was put into the expression. True, if we had the ability to actually see people’s verbal speaking expression there are some voices that would be just plain dull and in the same ol’ font and face over and over. And I suppose at times that would be appropriate. But, just think about the endless images bouncing from each other if everybody’s words, language, expression, feelings and breath stuck around in a clear visual form and of their own signature. That would be incredible. But, I’m sure it would do more harm than good. But, it would definately be something else for people to complain about so then there would be even more imagery because of it! The great artist Saul Steinberg communicated language as marks of visual expression in this way in much of his work. A poster to me is exciting because of the fact that it is short-lived, yet it can be very in-your-face and of the moment. A good poster to me is like a big zit. And a good one will pop and speak all over…let you know that it’s there. It boggles me when people don’t take advantage of this idea. It just seems like people push a duplicator button and paint with boringness and fluorescents over and over. It’s very zombie. (though, zombies could probably make more creative things). In this digital age of people getting information via the web and myspace and cell phones and music players and all that garbage, it’s even more important to get them to focus at things again. I’m all for the internet, but I feel hardly anybody under the age of 35 truely looks at anything in actual form anymore for more than 2 seconds. I am guilty of this too. And this possibly stems from perception of wanting everything bigger, better, faster and right now. These things that are supposed to make our lives easier, yet fill life to the brim and we’re still wondering where our time went. So, it does mean a lot to me when people actually stop and look and think…maybe come back to it again. It’s warming to me when something measley like a concert poster can get somebody to stop their busy life and take notice in a notice. Maybe even get a tickle out of it and a smile in their heart to make their day…maybe even take it home for their own wall. That just means the world. ​0​4) Do you have particular influences in art/design? I used to think you had to have a little man with flash cards or answers written in undershorts for quick draws whenever approached with this question. Anymore I don’t care about impressing people. I touched before on my influence of just existing and growing. I don’t understand it when people find or ape a “style” and milk that into retirement (unless it’s a true and pure speciality like most folk artists, Edward Gorey or Jean-Michel Basquiat). Gosh, I would cut off my hands as opposed to making the same thing everyday until I die. But, I would also do the same to be able to draw or paint like some people. What it is that I do is not something I punch a time card for, nor pound a keyboard to compute my solutions. It is a way of life and life is always changing. Silly, but the only way to stop it from my body is to spill my skull. And then have the bums burn my thumb prints to keep warm at night. I’m blessed to have been raised in a rural environment with a bit of old-fashioned and hands-on approach to things. I wanted so badly to get out of that environment when I was coming of high school age. Now, I really appreciate this aspect of my life. Don’t begin to ask me how I reached into the design grab bag and pulled out this funny-lookin’ rabbit i’m wiggling on. It just kind of happened. Most of it belongs to my always active imagination and having many acres to romp. There wasn’t really a drain plug on what I could do or absorb. Every day my siblings and I were into something new and building our own altered universe from the inspiration of television, movies, tractor pulls, rodeos, demolition dirbies, state fairs…you name it. A great aspect of all of this is that I never really shed any of it. If you could devise a way for me to go back into my time as an eleven-year-old, you bet I would. I feel so many shear that skin as they reach puberty and young adulthood. Even in my late teens when everybody was out dating and all that nonsense, I made myself go to my room and draw and make things. Shoot, I was still building tree houses and playing war (I still do at times). I am constantly fumbling back for it all. I’ve still got most of my childhood things all around me here in my basement club house. I don’t throw anything away. Everytime I go home another bag or two is brought back. The older I get the more I believe my streak stems a lot from my Grandmother on my Dad’s side. I still have many of the things she’s made by hand: fridge magnets, cat head pillow, blankets, book bag. As well as carry the images of wearing bread bags on my feet to school, creating toys out of thread spools, baking and cooking all the time, building forts in the living room, making pretty ladies out of flowers and especially sporting my beloved dead animal backpack (denim with plastic lining for easy blood clean-up). These things sound strange to others, but my world is built from them. She was constantly making or doing (as most of her generation did). I’m a big fan. It’s sad to me as nobody really just makes things anymore for the heck of it. And it’s really sad as she sits and bides her time in the nursing home, limited in her making and doing. I hope my engine breaks from making and doing before I get put in that point. If not, take me to the back forty and shoot me rotten. If somebody were to ask me to place my work in some sort of design bracket…well, I suppose it lands somewhere in the land of Henryk Tomaszewski meets Saul Steinberg meets Lester Beall meets Saul Bass meets Push Pin meets Ray Johnson meets Art Chantry meets Jim Henson meets Folk Art meets garbage in the street…or something like that. It’s really hard to answer that question. Anyway, I get bored with the look of a lot of current design and fashions. Though, there are a few great designers my age coming out of the woods more and more…doing fresh things and in creative ways. I think it stems from growing up in a time of the media of television, film, video games, computers, animation, graphic novels and just the overall mass consumerism of culture and language. And all of these things shaking hands with the idea of pushing boudaries and smothered with a glaze of technology. But, then again every generation is a little bit more ahead of the last…I guess to some degree. I love and appreciate my upbringing and even my access to the culture now. Still, I do wish sometimes I could have lived and designed some fourty, fifty or sixty years back. Though, I’m sure I’d still be in some basement, garnering enjoyment making things the way I want to make them. ​0​5) Does your work relate to the subject matter? For example, do you consciously try to create artwork that suits a band’s music or image? I think some people in the music industry don’t know how to take my work. For one, I feel most of the so-called scene takes itself way too seriously. It’s funny to me, all this playing dress-up and rock star…and especially when it extends into the late twenties and thirties. But, I do suppose some people were just born to be stars. My work isn’t for every person. But, there are a few out there who for some odd reason “get” it and it’s all very flattering of their attraction. It’s even spreading across the country and into other parts of the world. I don’t aim for cool points. I take it serious only to the point of being non-serious. However, when designing it’s important to be held accountable with your client, city, audience, environment, venue, peers and yourself. And I have morals with the world design community, art and design history and with myself. When it comes to marrying my work to a certain band’s music or image…well, what do I have to base on for an image? I have nothing but other designer’s interpretations of where to categorize the idea of what/how a sound or scene should register as. I have an appreciation for the past and present, but I really find it odd when somebody comes to a designer and says they want to play look-alike-dress-up to something already in existence. True, nothing is original anymore and I’m not saying that I’m anything special. Rather, I feel personality helps white wash things a bit and a lot of design these days lacks it (especially in the music industry). These days you can throw a rock and hit many kids making things (music and art). But a large chunk of it seems to be lacking proper development and form…and life. You can’t pick somebody else’s nose and expect to smear those boogers for yourself. You’ve got to earn them. You’ve got to get dirty along the way and find a way to bark, have fun, be yourself and just do things to do them…and then have Mom hose you off at the back door. ​0​6) Pick one of your favorite creations. What do you like best about its elements? First of all, my designs to me are like multiple babies to a mother. Yes, some may look more handsome and pretty and say all the right things and in the right way. Some may pay their own bills and some may be a pain in the rear. Each one is a favorite to me at the time of their creation and birth and in memory to the place that I was at the time of conception. You can point at every 300 and some poster I’ve made and it has a name, place and means something to me. If you said for me to create something for you like one I did back in 2001, well I couldn’t. It was in and of it’s place in my time. It won the race for that given moment. Shoot, sometimes I can’t even work within the same manner fifteen minutes ago. One creation that comes to mind for this question is a package design and identity for The Elevator Division. It’s one that I can call a significant and critical moment in my design sensibility. It’s one that garnered lots of attention and even though I plan to always be making my best work, the “Whatever Makes You Happy” EP CD will always be in my all-time top ten. I came up with the insane idea of cutting, spray painting imagery and making elaborate inserts for 250 packages (I vowed I’d never do it again, but funny how I work…and how I nearly exhausted my tank a month ago repeating this ridiculous process for another CD project). Anyway, so here I am the night before making all of these things and I end up changing my concept at the last minute. Thankfully, it still fit the real estate of the cardboard package, though It required spraying each cover three times as opposed to once. So, production time was tripled and time was not on my side but the design I felt was…and it worked and said a thousand time more than the original. What I had was an attention grabbing image of a hand shooting one of it’s fingers guised as a missle. The idea of shooting off one’s options…or, whatever makes you happy. It worked. It popped. It spoke exactly what the title and the band were speaking of in the music with relationships and with the political climate of war and post-terrorism America . And it came to me the night before (Anyway, I’m boring you with all that designer yap). So, my excitement of the new imagery, fueled my creation of 250 packages in less than a 48 hour period (and let’s not forget to mention i was working a day job). I was really smart and thought it was an awesome idea to spray paint in a basement with no ventilation. At the end of my final hour I erupted from the fumes and haze, with red, white and black paint caked to my hands and coming from my mouth and nose. I flung open the front door of the house as lightning crackled to find a hard rain falling. I was Noah and my boat was taking off…or landed, based on perspective of the event. In revival I jumped and slid head first down the steep grassy embankment and into the dirty, flooded street. I was washed clean. Sadly the design was so effective that it sold-out within a couple of shows and I had to do it all over again. But, the next round was adapted to a standard jewel case. ​0​7) What’s essential on a poster or flyer to grab a viewer’s attention in mere seconds? How does form and function come into play? I’ve touched upon this a wee bit in an earlier question. People tend to have short attention spans and walk with their heads down…and/or simply don’t look at things. Because of this a design has really got to pop, have immediacy and definately needs to say something. It’s funny because people have told me things like, “That is probably your worst poster.” It’s rare for people to be so honest in this way, but I love it when they are so passionate about it (and I love it when they say probably because that means they’ve really put some thought into it and have had discussions with themselves about it in comparable reason with my past efforts and wasted time wrestling with it). But, for some reason that poster really must have spoken to them to have so much feel for it. Normally these are the posters that end up being published and placed in traveling exhibitions. It’s really funny to me. At the time of creation I’m not trying to piss on anybody nor try to make something groundbreaking or award-winning. I just feel like doing things the way I do them in that moment and I feel I make them work. Form and function is an important application for design. Here is another thing I’ve already mentioned…I feel so many kids see something cool and just start cranking out these cool-lookin’ forms…hand-picking the way their things will look. There is a major lack of growth in most art-music these days…even outside of these areas…even just in someone’s persona. I’m not saying you can’t have influences, everybody’s got them and everything’s been done before and done better. I just long for things that speak of their own island. It’s like on “Jurassic Park”. You can’t go in and recreate the notion of copying dinosaurs for yourself. You can only get away with that for so long. Anyway, I also spoke about designs grabbing attention by way of having human elements and a definate soul behind them. I’ve come to compare a poster to a pop song. Sure they’ve been done a thousand times before…but, you can tell the ones that have a true sense of personality and heart to them. There is so much dead-beat fluff out there that can’t even be compared to something that’s alive…something that knows the rules but takes them and reassembles them to their own architecture. It’s very evident in music especially. For instance two bands can play on separate late night talk shows within minutes of each other. Both write pop songs. One speaks freshness and purity, even looks sincere, despite being just a pop band with another pop song. The other feels like actors assembled to play a song somebody else penned for an instant “fat wallet”. It just feels too perfect and calculated…and lifeless. Not everybody cares about this or sees this. It is subjective to a certain degree, but there is a true difference. ​0​8) In your opinion, are flyers and posters a low-brow form of art? People have really started holding posters in higher regard the past five or more years. Poster making is hotter than ever and it really hit a certain peak a couple years ago. The work is spreading farther than just within its respected cities. The artists are becoming just as popular as their art.A poster these days is living beyond it’s short life on the street, on a corkboard or at the venue. People are excited about it. Exhibitions, magazines, websites, books and design annuals celebrate the scene. Collectors and fans of art and music are snatching them up. True, the art of the poster has been around for a long time (and I’ll just reflect on it from my vantage point at the moment). But, I feel that it’s now (band posters in particular) really being taking seriously in the art world. At one time (and in some cases and by some people, still are) posters and flyers were being seen as litter and visual clutter. We can’t help but owe a lot of the commotion to modern pioneers like Art Chantry. He basically single-handily changed the way of the poster back in the ‘70s and ‘80s with experiments, lavish production methods and design aesthetics. He is considered a master artist to the trade and even in the arts in general. Shoot, seeing him lecture in college six years ago helped me decide to take that leap onto the starving artist limb-limbo, doing my own thing as opposed to working for another man. I spoke briefly to him after that lecture and told about my interest in independent music design. He was honest and said, “Expect to starve…several times over.” And I have. I still need to tell him that…and tell him thank you. Though, many poster artists these days no longer have to starve. It’s being taken so seriously and the quality of art is held so high that some can do it for full-time income…and do it rather successfully. A lot of them have full-fledged design studios and cranking out more than just posters. And there are a lot of guys like me with day jobs and coming home to moonlight out of basements and back bedrooms. For myself, I kind of hit the scene at the right time when it was really starting to explode..even though I didn’t really know what I was doing, other than just “doing”. I feel it defin​i​tely takes a certain mindset and you’ve got to make some sacrifices. I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone, but with poster art, anyone can do it…it’s easy to do and with limited resources. And then you’ve got the excitement of people bringing back almost deceased production techniques like the letter press. My only rant right now with poster art is that though the quality of work looks great, I feel there is a defin​i​te cohesive “look” and style to a lot of it right now. There are a few doing their own thing, but a lot of it is starting to look the same and almost becoming too easy and formulated for some. This is where I give my two cents of brain fart. What’s great about a poster is it’s actual short-lived life on the street. It makes all the more reason to try new things and really push the art form and most importantly gives reason to just be yourself. If it fails it will be gone or in the gutter within weeks and another will take its place. -djg