#i mean they kind of have to atp right?
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sleepanonymous · 17 days ago
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Since we're in a lull between Sleep Token tours, right now might be a great time to sell your soul request a ritual in the city you live.
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zemnarihah · 2 years ago
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good morning:)
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itsalwaysdark · 1 month ago
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aww its kinda cute finding me complaining abt my dads whole lisa thing from 2017. honestly so overshadowed by everything else and also i was so annoying when i was 12 aw .
#did not realize how many of my journal posts r just vents and it all looks so silly now RJRBJFBFNG aw hun. its so funny that i was#complaining abt my mom treating me like a therapist in 2017. <- his ass did notttt know. its like watching a guy standing on the train#tracks and complaining about a car driving past.#sry . i ended up on quotev just 2 look. ive never actually looked at my like activity feed very much whenever i go back but its funny bc it#rly is a more accurate glimpse into whateve was going on for miss kami (my quotev nickname).... like yasss. you hate your dads girlfriend#and her kids that is a nice problem to have#its also embarassing bc like my ex gf is just all around in here . i made a vent post like I get it im not enough and i dont matter and im#just a tool for you to use 😡😡😡 and she commented “yesss tell the world”. SO FUNNY?#and i found her being excited abt our 5 month anniversary#delightfully 12 year old activity. i do not like her very much at all and idt i ever actualy loved her#not in a bitchy way in a like. i literally questioned if i was aroace the entire time we were dating#she asked me out with a little note passed in class like circle y/n and i literally thought to myself Hm well i guess i dont have anything#going on. and circled yes. which is so funny. hun?#anyways. that all imploded bc we were 11 its whatever.#sigh. its just nice to remember the little problems i had. like obviously all this is after my dad choked me out in public and threw my dog#and etc but its still technically the beforetimes. yk. and ik the zoo isnt rly the most pressing of my things that have happened to me#anymore but its still like. Big. yk. even if i mostly just have to Be fine about it now or else everyone will think im being an awful piec#of shit asshole for still being upset. Ok sorry#also when i call my 12 yesr old self snnoying i mean it in an loving way like. its only right to be kind of annoying when youre 12 yk...#and also 12 year old kamille is Not here rn so i can be a little playfully mean to her. bc shes such a 12 year old#idk i just struggle a lot bc i am so like. far removed from everything that happened atp were on like 4th or 5th generation post that#and i struggle to put myself in That kamilles shoes and remember she was a kid yk. like obviously ik i was a kid ik i didnt deserve that#but when i try to like. put myself back in the situation and try to force myself to remember that exact day (dont do this btw . it does not#go well LOL) but i always like. i try to rebuild the events from the ground up but im not Kamille age 12 im me. witnessing everything#i wont ever be able to remember it How it acrually was i couldnt even fully remember it like a week after the fact yk. itis what itis#sorry i should prolly tag this i rambleddddd#a2t#child abuse#implied but we#animal abuse
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ilydeku · 5 months ago
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Hello!! Before I start, I just want to say that your green profile aesthetic is so prettyyy😭😭😭 it honestly reminds me of Pinterest idk. Can I request IT!girl!reader dating middle school Izuku? (im just in love w loser bf x drop dead gorg reader!)
tysm anonnie !!❤️❤️
im not sure if i did this right, but here u go 😭💕
~
you, an IT girl, dating izuku in middle school
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- now this is quite the unexpectation
- what were you doing with the quirkless loser, Deku??
- you, so full of confidence with the way you carried yourself, loads of friends, grades of flying colors, beauty unmatched, a strong quirk. the list goes on
- him? the only thing remarkable is probably his will to keep going. just a quirkless outcast, a shameless nerd with unreachable dreams
- LITERALLY THIS LMFAOO:
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- so why? it came as a GREAT surprise to see a post of you and Deku hanging out at a kitty cafe on insta. was it a dare? a prank? like ts gotta be some typa joke right
- WRONGG.
- they're merely scratching the surface, a surface that's not at all what it seems
- he's a really sweet boy, completely taken advantage of because of his meekness
- despite being quirkless, he was the realest person you've encountered in the school: observant, hard working, respectful. it's not like a quirk defines you anyway
- it's so embarrassing watching a classmate with the most ugly, useless, atrocious quirk you've ever witnessed poke fun at Deku
- like oh my GOSH dude they get humbled QUICK after you mention that you'd rather be quirkless
- like atp that ain't a quirk that's a disability 💀—not to be mean, but to make a point that Deku is just as capable of becoming a hero as anyone else
- going to school dances with Deku would be a lot more enjoyable if it weren't for those meddling whispers about you two. he often gets pushed to the sidelines 'cause you get swarmed by your friends and bombarded with questions :(
- but in the end, you came with him and mattered the most to him.
- he gets so nervous when he's around you, help him, he can't even look at you
- not in offense or anything. you make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and he can't help but feel enveloped by your presence
- you're this beautiful ray of light and he's kinda just..the shadow that follows after
"Izuku...Izuku did I do something wrong?"
"What? N-No! Of course not!"
"Then why aren't you looking at me?"
"Because you're—you're really pretty..."
"Pfft. You're really pretty too."
- Deku doesn't really initiate anything, thinking it'd be too lame or uncomfortable for you :( and if he does, he'll hesitate and drawback any ideas aforethought
- he follows you like a little puppy, always at your disposal
- he knows NOTHING about dating, only the note of going to amusements parks and sharing a sweet treat
- his confidence dwindles :( maybe he could learn a thing or two from you? <3
- when i tell you he was absolutley shocked when you confessed to him. his immediate reaction was playing it off as a joke
Wh..What? Oh...very funny, y/n...Huh..? YOU'RE SERIOUSOWUEIDEGHD!?!?
- he ALWAYS questions your feelings towards him—why me of all others? but i'm just a regular boy and you're..you? (gorgeous, pretty, beautiful, super cool, whole hearted, sweet...)
- and you can reassure everytime—because you're you and i like you!! a one of a kind.
- Deku doesn't have much to give to you, but he does have a big heart and alotta love
- maybe he is a loser, but he's your loser, and you wouldn't have him any other way
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elliezlils11utt · 6 months ago
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‧₊˚🖇️ ₊˚🎧⊹♡
A/n: okay so im hyper sexual due to trauma and it’s getting pretty bad again, so i was thinking about how Ellie would react to hypersexual!reader! here’s for all my traumatized babes! 💋
parings: Ellie x hypersexual!reader!
WARINGS‼️‼️: this dabble contains reader who has gone through sexual harassment/assault, or any form of sexual trauma! there are no mentions of the act but talks about it happening in the past! resulting in hypersexuality!! if you are uncomfortable with this in any way please do not read ! :)
~~~
༘ ⋆。 ˚ it’s obviously kind of a hard thing to tell someone, especially a partner. so I think when telling her she would be super understanding. I think she would have a lot of questions and would take boundaries so seriously.
༘ ⋆。 ˚ I also think that she would be like mad/concerned.? not at you or anything. but I kinda feel like Ellie having to sorta go through all that shit she would be mad at herself for not being there 4 you. :( even if you guys didn’t know each other at the time I feel like Ellie is js that typa gal.
‘༘ ⋆。 ˚ ‘I’m so sorry you had to go through that baby!! are you okay now?’
~~~
༘ ⋆。 ˚ ‘I wish I coulda stoped it sweetheart, im sorry.’
then her mood would switch if she saw u we’re okay with talking about it.
༘ ⋆。 ˚ ‘I’m going to beat their ass !! name, address? social security number maybe…?’
༘ ⋆。 ˚on days you wanted nothing to do with anything sexual she would never push any of that shit on you. she’s js a little cuddle bug !! I feel like if she was in the mood on one of these days she would ask and if you said no it was no biggy!
༘ ⋆。 ˚speaking of, she needs verbal consent before anything. a nodd or body language has nothing to do with it atp. she needs you to tell her that everything she is doing is okay.
‘hey love is this okay?’
~~~
‘how you feelin, wanna continue babe?’
~~~
‘pretty girl, can I touch you?’
༘ ⋆。 ˚now on days your the horniest mother fucker around she totally feeds into it. I mean who wouldn’t? when you go through hypersexual episodes she will do anything to make sure ur satisfied and okay !
༘ ⋆。 ˚now during these episodes if she found that you may feel icky about urself and thoughts she will make sure to love you extra in every way! and if you feel icky after sex she will take the aftercare till the max and won’t leave it side for the next 5 hours!! (AWAHHH)
༘ ⋆。 ˚Ellie wants you to know that there is nothing wrong with you. all she wants to do is make you comfortable. she loves you !!
A/n: my fluff fics never do well but I needed to share this because hyper-sexuality isn’t represented enough and the effects of sa and what it can do isn’t talked about enough. so I thought I’d make a cute little Ellie fluff comfort fic about it to help anyone who is going through a hypersexual episode right now!! I love you all and you are seen.
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thatdeadaquarius · 11 months ago
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HELP I JUST HAD A THOUGH
WHAT IF
What if....
Blunt reader became a harbinger
I have NO idea how that would go but im here for the crack lol
I BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-
(and to use this gif more importantly they're all so hot here lol)
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Sun: Reader (you/they/them), Blunt Language AU :D
Orbit: Headcanons-ish, crack treated srsly (yes im using ao3 tags atp)
Stars: Harbingers!
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: none known & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
SO thought I’d update anyone missing out bc of the new year but-
I made this silly thing called Blunt Language AU, that was my 1st post for this blog/fandom actually! :D
I’ll link it here, but TLDR: it’s just our modern speech sounding “ancient” to the Teyvatians, who speak really flowery/fluffy/lots of context in comparison!
That’s all you rlly need to know to read this I think, so enjoy! :)
u fall into Genshin Impact, and Snezhnaya is where you land first type of energy lol
weird golden star falling from the sky? that sounds like a prophecy the Tsaritsa knows abt alright
so they sent Childe, one of the friendliest (if not The Friendliest) Harbinger, to see if it was a valid claim you’d finally descended,
and ofc as soon as the redhead heard you try and talk to him, he knew the claims by the small village nearby (who had taken u in from the cold weather/taken care of you) were legit
pantalone did manage to squeeze some examples of what you’d possibly sound like into his head before he left so while Childe personally has a tough time talking to you, it doesn't mean he’s not willing to try!! >:)
he mostly just kept asking questions forever until he understood what you meant, and as soon he got u were asking abt the Tsaritsa, the other Harbingers, himself, even how to get Sneznayan-made clothes lol
he was like: 👀👀👀???!!!!
it wasn't so much recruitment at first as it was “omg the exalted one wishes to learn abt us, the Tsaritsa and her Harbingers? abt me?? well would your highness like to come to our palace perchance???!!!!”
= have u ever been seduced and worshipped by a god and her country?? would you like to- ??? ← Childe actually
and with that convinces you to come straight to the Harbingers/Tsaritsa’s very home
No, you’re not just spoiled.
No, you’re not just pampered.
You are cosseted and coveted.
The Tsaritsa makes her first in person appearance to the people in decades to personally announce your return, and to get a festival going to literally parade you into the capital lol
And tbh it was kind of shocking how quickly the people of Snezhnaya are able to whip out the party supplies, within days of traveling via horses/sleds/carriage/trains all kinds of transportation, u arrived at the capital in full swing of a parade for you
The Tsaritsa herself in what looks like a genshin-ified kokoshnik, the elaborate headress draped with a veil so thin it looks like frost covering her face,
flocked on either side by her harbingers in full (kinda goth) ceremonial outfits waiting on your arrival too
needless to say you are properly smitten intimidated
and you stay nervous around them for the first few days or so,
that is before you run into the weekly, what you would call “family dinner nights”, but they call “dinner reports”…
in which Childe, the only one you’d been comfortable enough around to be a bit more genuine to, and surprisingly the only one to quickly adapt to your speech after traveling with you for days, would translate for you what tf you were saying to them vs. what everyone at the table was saying to you/around you
you would also like to propose other titles for these weekly dinner meetings you’re invited to, aka “family feud dinner night/family fight night/harbinger on harbinger hate night/fruit on fruit crimes, if you will” 💀
the Tsaritsa is just peacefully talking to you abt any and everything, bc ofc Pierro’s on her right, and ur on her left
(she and Pierro are surprisingly soft spoken, very polite, and able to say something interesting/take an interest in whatever subject you all end up on)
u don't think you've ever been more comfortable and on such equal footing around ppl sm older than you (what are older ppl to you, but to them ur literally fucking eldritch with how ancient u are, and u can tell with how they treat u like it lmao)
hard cut back to the rest of the table:
an argument that just gets louder and louder has broken out between Childe, Dottore, La Signora, and Pantalone abt who should get free time with you first/get to do smth with you first as you get over ur adjustment period here, Childe has taken his butter knife to throw and just barely missed Dottore’s eye, and it is now embedded in the back of his fancy chair (the servants placing down dinner courses just move abt w/the most bored expressions on their faces)
(u send half the table if this group gets out of hand and u just: “Please shut the fuck up, each of ur comebacks take 30 minutes and it’s killing me” 💀 bc they're the most likely to understand u too, even Pierro/Capitano/Pulcinella chuckle a little, and u think the Tsaritsa smirked under her veil)
ur honestly too scared to see what Scarmouche, Sandrone, and Arlecchino are arguing about, because they're arguing so silently further down the table. They have murder in their eyes.
Columbina and Capitano are having a peaceful collab over weapons, armor, and clothing to offer you, Pulcinella is close enough to both participate in that convo and in you, Pierro, and the Tsaritsa’s convos too
by the 2nd week you've decided to choose chaos, and get them to play board games together sometimes (they cant all make it all the time, tbh u don't know if u can handle that either) but groups of them will play at a time
u remembered early on what a dick Dottore was, and sentenced asked if he’d like to play this new board game called “Monopoly” from ur world with Childe, Pantalone, Pierro, Arlecchino, La Signora, and Scaramouche all together :)
(so what ur trying to bring khaenri’ah part 2 down on his head as punishment?? u owe scara and collei that at least)
Columbina is more than happy to help get you Harbinger-like clothes to wear since ur so interested in the style!! (yes yesss get converted, she already has a title picked out for you)
she also giggles anytime u talk abt whether u like an outfit or not, bc u just “no thank you I’d rather wear a trash bag than that shirt, but lets try another?”
meanwhile the tailors in the background u could literally edit them to one of those videos where it just zooms in on their faces with a vine boom of shock
like Pierro, ur unranked, just above the other Harbingers really, as it wouldn't do to make you the 12th Harbinger or smth
the names they gave you being, “The Playwright” or “The Renaissance” or even “Drammaturgo”
(pls anyone who speaks Italian correct if I'm wrong ToT )
ok but the first time, unsurprisingly, one of them got snappy with you, likely Scara I would think,
Scaramouche, pissy: “And what shall we do if it appears our almighty god is perhaps a descender who is entirely human? Why I dare say you’d be transgressing on privileges that were never yours to begin with!”
Every other Harbinger, the Tsaritsa herself, the servants, the frost on the walls: 😶😦😨😶‍🌫️
You, unbothered, still eating and fully expecting this moment: “I don't want to hear it from someone who has god-mommy issues. You shouldn’t have an opinion about me, ur biased.”
yeah, so obviously, they’re emotionally all attached now whether they know it or not, and this was of course the moment they realized they're god would fit in so perfectly here
(the other nations are going to have to pry you from Snezhnaya from their cold dead hands, esp since u now have legal deniability to visit bc ur technically a Harbinger, only commanded by her majesty lol)
(Scaramouche, Arlecchino, and Sandrone were fighting about who gets the room nearest to your quarters lol)
(Capitano won, somehow??)
sorry ive been slow lately guys, been just trying to work on alllll the fics these past weeks/days/however long its been??
anyway had the shift from hell last week so wish me luck with work this week if u see this 😭
hope u enjoyed this old ask/crack treated srsly post orah!! :D
Safe Travels,
💀♒
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♡the beloveds♡
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rashoumon-homo · 8 months ago
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BSD Men - Would they be good at giving head?
BSD x Gender Neutral Reader, NSFW
Includes: Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Chuuya, Sigma, Nikolai, Atsushi, Fyodor, and Akutagawa
Author’s Note: Just a quick lil headcanons post to fill the void of content while I work on Bottom Dazai Week! A little low-effort compared to what I usually post, hope that’s alright :)
NSFW CONTENT AHEAD - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
(Ranked roughly from best to worst)
Dazai
Holy FUCK bro, YES.
He’s good at it and he knows it
He moans into it like he’s the one getting off
He’ll have you coming on his tongue in less than 2 minutes
And he swallows too- gladly! He insists you taste amazing
Knows his anatomy too - all the spots to lick and suck to get your toes curling
Kunikida
Way more skilled than expected
This man literally sat down and studied before even his first attempt
Knows your anatomy better than a doctor atp
You had to remind him to relax at first because even though he was doing everything right, he was as mechanical as a robot
As he got more comfortable with it, you both had more fun
Prefers other types of sex but will gladly give you head if you ask
Ranpo
Absolutely - if he feels like it
You know how he is, picky with taste and texture of things he puts in his mouth and whatnot
But if he’s into it, he’s hella skilled
Definitely won’t swallow, but he’ll give you head for longggg periods of time, making you cum over and over
He’s just having fun with the tactile experience and with seeing you come undone under his touch. Boosts his ego a little lol
Chuuya
Oh yeah for sure
He gives head to tease though, not to get you to finish
Always looking up at you from under his lashes because he knows it gets you flustered
For some reason gives better head when he’s drunk
But he usually stops before you can cum because for him, oral is ideally just foreplay
Points docked for that :(
Sigma
Yes and no
He’s more inexperienced, so the first few times are a little clumsy
But he’s determined to learn how to please you
With practice and guidance from you, he’ll come to be really good at it! You just have to get through the awkward phase first
Nikolai
Duh
Y’all already know he’s a freak
He’s got plenty of skill and enthusiasm but he gets bored quickly
If it’s taking too long to get you to cum, he will flat out give up
He’s always coming up with new ways to do it as well (don’t ask what that means) so hopefully you’re willing to put up with his weird-ass, occasionally morally concerning ideas
Atsushi
Not perfect initially but eager to learn
Inexperienced and over enthusiastic (too much teeth 😬)
Wants so badly to please you
Probably needs some guidance at first
Fyodor
Good luck convincing him…
He sees giving head as a sign of submission so he’ll likely flat out refuse for a very very long time
If you can sway him, he’s about average in skill
Not much experience, since he hates doing it, but he picks up the skill quickly
Surprisingly gentle and cautious with his mouth (whether for your sake or his is unclear)
Do not cum in his mouth. He will pointedly spit it out because he’s grossed out and will likely sulk about it after
Akutagawa
This guy does not enjoy giving head and it shows
He’ll do it on rare occasions but his discomfort is palpable and kind of makes it not fun
If you finish in his mouth, he’s spitting that shit out. No offense to you personally, he just finds the idea of swallowing gross in general
Stick to other types of sex I beg of you
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junicult · 1 year ago
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!! showering w the bachelors for the first time
contains ; mostly fluff. fem!farmer. some suggestive parts. making out. newly established relationships. nsfw in sebastian’s, implied in shane’s & alex’s. afab!farmer. brief mention of fingering. not proofread, will later.
note ; i intended for this to be entirely sfw i swear
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harvey.
- the honeymoon phase.
- where he doesn’t even live with you, yet he’s at your house nearly every night, or sometimes vise versa.
- when he uses your stove (with permission) to make you both dinner to share after you’ve finished work.
- where you’re still so in love all you wanna do is gaze into each others eyes and kiss until you can’t breathe.
- that’s exactly what kind of phase you’re in.
- and it’s been a long time since he’s been in that phase.
- you sorta have a whole routine atp.
- whenever he comes over, you make it a plan to wrap up work quickly & spend the evening with him,
- which is why you felt so guilty when you lost track of time, backpack full of rocks and geodes you couldn’t wait for clint to break open the next morning.
- when you glanced down at your watch, you nearly jumped ten feet in the air like a cartoon lmfao
- and you’ll definitely regret running up the ladder one level before you reached another button on the elevator—but right now, you weren’t even focused on that.
- by the time you made it back to your house, a mere two hours after you told harvey you’d be back, it was pitch-black outside.
- thankfully, he didn’t leave. instead, he stood scrubbing the dishes clean, before whipping around at the sudden swing of your front door.
- “harvey! i’m so sorry, i lost track of ti—“
- “oh thank yoba you’re okay,” he sighs, (u already know he wanted to call someone to check up on u but he didn’t want to seem controlling😭😭)
- and he didn’t waste a second to meet you at the door, scanning you just to see if you were injured.
- “i’m fine, i’m fine, just got way too distracted. did you make dinner? did you have to eat alone?? oh, i’m so so sorry i didn’t mean to—“
- ur word vomit is making him fall in love with you even more. two peas in a pod🫶🫶
- then it’s just back and forth of you constantly questioning and reassuring each other for a few moments.
- “but you made such a nice meal for me, and i kept you waiting, i just—i’m so sorry—“
- “sweetheart, it’s okay, i’m not mad,” he almost chuckles, holding you close.
- as soon as he established you’re not hurt or injured, he’s no longer stressed.
- he understands what it’s like getting carried away at work, so who is he to ever be mad at you for that?
- after you ate and assured him you were fine, that’s when you mentioned it.
- “i’m pretty dirty from the mines, i was gonna shower. make up for lost time with me?”
- his mind doesn’t inherently go to sexual things.
- honestly, he was just excited you wanted to.
- he also doesn’t give a fuck that he took a shower earlier. he just wants to spend time with you lol.
- although ik he’s all organized and has like a little routine where you both keep taking turns under the spray LMFAO
- like you get in first, rinse yourself off, then switch with him while you soap yourself up, switch & rinse, switch and apply shampoo, switch, etc, you get it.
- it’s so fucking funny LMAO.
- but the entire time you’re making casual conversation, some little comments about how much you missed each other, things like that.
- he loves how you look in the shower. not even bc ur naked, it’s just a vulnerable way to see the person you love, and there’s nothing sexual in the way he’s looking at you.
- even when you tug on his neck to pull him down for a kiss, he’s just swooning over your affections.
- unless the implication, or intention of sex came before the shower…he’s probably not approaching anything with that.
- it’s a completely different story if you’ve had a ton of tension all day,
- constantly making passing remarks that make his palms sweat, but unable to go any further because of your busy day,
- and you leave him all hot and bothered until you come home in the evening, and ask him to join you in the shower.
- that’s when he forgets all about the little routine.
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sam.
- ah, the start to ur most important routine.
- honestly, i feel like you were the one who started it all.
- the whole, “every time you shower, we shower together” thing.
- at least, that’s what it becomes once you move in together. but before that, anytime he was over & you needed to shower, he’d totally join in.
- it’s not even sexual. there’s only like a 30% chance you’ll end up having sex, or even just do foreplay whenever you shower together.
- he’s just so clingy, and he craves the closeness after he realized how much he enjoyed you being there the first time.
- you both were quietly laying together, watching the tv wordlessly, just enjoying each others company after you two decided he should spend the night.
- which then prompted in him asking, “do you think i could use the shower? i smell bad.” he frowns after taking a whiff of his arm.
- you giggle. “i think you smell good, but go ahead. i don’t have your soap, though.”
- like he could care lmfao.
- “thanks!” he just grins, hopping on his feet and giving you a little kiss on the forehead before he skips off.
- you give it like 5 minutes before you decide u miss him too much (attachment issues😞)
- “sam…y’think you got room for two in there?” you knock before creeping the door open.
- he peeks his shampoo’d head from behind the shower curtain. “you wanna come in?”
- “is that okay?”
- u might’ve just asked him to marry you.
- his whole face lights up, grinning wide and opening the curtain wider as he steps to the side. “the more the merrier!”
- he doesn’t even care ur naked. there’s nothing sexual running through his mind, he’s just excited you’re standing with him rn. now he doesn’t have to rush to go see you.
- he even steps to the side to give you the chance to soak your hair under the spray.
- it’s easily just a little awkward at first.
- you’ve had sex before, that’s not why it’s awkward,
- only because it’s the first time you two are seeing each other completely naked without any intention of sexual advancement. not that it would be such a burden if you did, but neither of you want to.
- while you drench your hair, he can’t help but smile lovingly at the sight of water droplets all over your skin.
- he could easily be thinking about how much fun it’d be to have sex right here, but he’s too focused on how this might actually be his favorite thing you’ve ever done together.
- like minutes of silence pass, nothing but the water running and he’ll just lean in and press a kiss on your temple or shoulder.
- it’s not bc he’s trying to hint at something,
- he just wanted to do it, and he doesn’t really overthink the things he wants to do.
- but the affection makes you smile, and by how pure it was, it doesn’t send any false messages.
- it really doesn’t last that long. probably about 15 minutes of you both washing off and short displays of affection.
- yet it clung to you both so well, that it just became the routine you never skipped out on.
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shane.
- it definitely just happened naturally.
- ur relationship at first was strictly sexual.
- to the rest of the town, no one even knew you guys even spoke. which, to be fair, there wasn’t much talking between u two anyways💀💀
- but i wanna say that was only for a couple weeks.
- it was still super slow and progressive. your conversations went from short & passing, to getting to know each other a little more. but the sex was still there.
- it went from instead of him leaving right after you finished, you’d stay up and talk for a couple hours.
- to waking up together, to spending the day together, etc etc.
- now ur relationship was approaching friends w benefits category. except it was unspoken, but neither of you wanted to be friends at this point.
- despite all of this, you’ve still never showered together.
- until you spent the whole day working outside. you feel gross, sticky, and sweaty. he just so happened to stick around after you started working.
- ur checking in on your animals he just follows you lol.
- before u both knew it, the sun was coming down and he spent the whole day helping you.
- the thing was, neither of you wanted to mention it. you were both nervous even bringing it up would spark the implication of wanting him to leave.
- which was not the case.
- not to mention, he’s a huge help. when u passed him ur axe to chop down trees, you almost couldn’t look away 🤷‍♀️
- so after you’ve finished, sun starting to set and sweat dripping from your temples—he’s still standing with you.
- “i feel gross, i’m gonna shower.” you frown, plucking your clothes away from your sticky skin.
- ofc he’s thinking it.
- but he doesn’t have time to make a sly comment before you shoot one over your shoulder, “there’s room for two, y’know.”
- say no more, he’s following close behind you throwing off his shirt.
- “thought you said there was room for two, there’s hardly room for one.” he snorts, squeezing himself beside you in the cramped space.
- “oh c’mon, you’ve never had a problem with making it fit.”
- he’s gonna lose his mind.
- u don’t really waste any time LMFAO
- drenching your hair under the spray before you look over at him,
- and you both just lean in cus it’s unspoken, but obvious you guys aren’t in there just to shower.
- he’s quick to slotting his hands at the small of your back, while you wrap yours around his neck and press yourself against him.
- …not much showering gets done, i’ll just say that.
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sebastian.
- i feel like sebastian spends more nights at your house then he does at his own at this point.
- he’s not the type to get super attached very easily, even getting to the step of sleeping together took a while.
- but after it happened, he found your little cottage so comfortable. he liked waking up to you in the morning, and falling asleep in your arms at night.
- the only reason he goes home is to work.
- and the minute he finishes up, he heads back over.
- honestly, if he could pack up his computer and leave it at your house, then he’d never leave—which is probably why you made it clear he can’t do that.
- your relationship is already committed.
- i don’t really think he’d wanna sleep with you if hadn’t discussed a romantic relationship.
- anyways, i feel like bc of this, he’s already showered at your place lol.
- you were too busy to ask, and he knew you wouldn’t mind, so he just jumped in and took a quick shower.
- hours after you already started your chores for the day, he woke up & just sniffed his shirt and winced a little.
- he also did some laundry (for your sake).
- so then it kinda just became a, “hey, do you mind if i take a quick shower?” while you were preoccupied.
- sometimes you’d be the one to ask. like if you were lying together, on your bed in your house, you’d turn to him and say the same thing.
- it never rly occurred to either of u that you could knock out two birds with one stone🤷‍♀️
- one evening you were exhausted. you smelled horrible, you could already tell. you had spent nearly the entire day down in the mines, just covered in dirt and rubble, stinking like sweat yet he still kissed you when you came in.
- “i need to shower,” you groan, still accepting his kiss.
- ugh but he’s already spent the majority of the day without you, why are you going to deprive him of more?
- “i think you smell fine,” he tries his best to persuade, but you won’t budge.
- pressing against his chest, you giggle, “you know that’s not true. i’ll only be a few minutes, promise.”
- he’s honestly so clingy, literally tugging on your arm as you try to walk away and following behind you like a lost puppy.
- and suddenly, “i could use a shower too…” despite him using it earlier.
- you look at him for a second, narrowing your eyes, before you tease, “yeah, you could.”
- he’s much like sam, just less openly enthusiastic.
- when you tell him to get the water running, he’s only nodding, but it’s not hard to miss the way he’s turning to start the water so quick.
- and how he’s undressing like he has somewhere to be, despite presenting so nonchalant about it.
- for him, it’s just a better reason to be so close to you. he likes when you’re around.
- it really depends on how much he was missing you, but for the most part i don’t think it ever leads to anything sexual.
- sure, he stands back to let you rinse yourself off and his eyes wander, but that’s about as much that’ll happen if neither of you are in the mood.
- and even then, if you end up wanting to have sex, it hardly ever happens in the shower. most is just foreplay.
- which he is never opposed to.
- i’ve said it once, i’ll say it a million more times,
- he lovesss fingering you.
- and lowkey, if you’re intending on having sex and starting with foreplay in the shower…phew.
- gently pressing you against the shower wall, the water running all down his back but he doesn’t even care,
- and his lips are making out with yours, which are sloppy in response while his fingers press against that spot inside of you that has your neck craning and moans spilling…
- that’s what he wants when he’s been missing you and joins you in the shower.
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alex.
- i actually think he’s similar to sam too.
- he’s a huge fan of showering together.
- for starters, he’s the kind of man who makes himself at home very quickly💀💀
- even when you guys weren’t even dating yet, still just in that getting to know each other and hanging out regularly phase.
- when you’d plan for him to come over once you finished up work and spend time w each other casually.
- the cocky side of him just took your hospitality as flirting.
- which, i mean, isn’t unbelievably far off. you do like him.
- but it was probably like his second time over at your house, and he just casually asked if he could take a shower.
- you might’ve raised an eyebrow, but you still said sure.
- so then it became a pretty normal thing. he never took longer then 10 minutes, so you could appreciate that.
- after you both started dating, and had seen each other naked, it became much more casual.
- the transition between not showering together, to showering together was so subtle.
- it just started with you showering, and he needed to pee so he’d just come in and, well, pee.
- then he’d be showering but you still needed to brush your teeth and do your skincare, so you hung out in the bathroom.
- and pretty soon it was so normal that when you asked if he wanted to join you one evening—you didn’t even think much of it.
- it wasn’t until you were midway through washing your body when you realized he was doing the same thing beside you.
- it was just like a, ‘oh, okay, this is normal now’ kind of realization.
- “can you pass me the shampoo?” like he was asking for the salt at the dinner table.
- it just felt natural, especially after he moved in.
- it became a thing you both do together.
- literally a part of your nightly routine. when you were ready to shower, you’d let him know and he’d start the water while you got undressed.
- so since it was your nightly routine, i feel like the longer you’re together, showering together and having sex doesn’t really pair up.
- you shower 9/10 times together. there’s no way you’d be able to keep up (he can tho lol)
- but that doesn’t mean it’s rare.
- he loves looking at you when you’re naked. no shame.
- there could be zero sexual energy between you two at the moment, and he’s still looking you up and down, admiring.
- he can’t help it! he doesn’t even have to be turned on for his body to react to yours.
- “are you hard right now?” you laugh almost like you’re making fun of him.
- and his response will always be, “well duh,” because you just have that affect on him.
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elliott.
- another man that loves to shower with you.
- well…yes he likes to shower together, but he’s definitely a bigger fan of bathing together.
- i’ll get to that in a minute.
- your relationship progressed very steadily. it wasn’t until after a few dates when you actually slept together.
- once you had sex though, i feel like it opened you up into being much more comfortable around each other.
- spending time constantly, always inviting him over, allowing him to see you in more vulnerable ways like in your pj’s or all dirty.
- he approached the idea first, i feel like.
- you’ve been having a stressful week, working nearly every hour you were awake, and you had complained about it prior.
- so he just wanted to help you relax, setting up a nice bath with candles and bath salts and anything to help you relax.
- he’s so sweet about it too, not even intending on joining you until you clasped your hands together and asked him to.
- “join me, please. i’ve hardly seen you all week.”
- and he’s all ears.
- sitting in the opposite end, either sitting in peaceful silence or listening to you recap your day.
- i lowkey think he’d bathe you LMFAO
- like hear me out, he’s offering to wash your hair and he’s all delicate with it, giving you a whole head massage and dipping a cup of water to rinse it out.
- kissing your neck and shoulders, pampering you while you don’t even care to protest.
- and even if you did, he wouldn’t allow it. not when you’re all he wants to focus on right now.
- and despite him loving to bathe with you, i feel like his shower routine is so intensive and meticulous that it’s not often you shower together.
- he never minds your company, i promise you that.
- i just firmly believe he’s a morning showerer and you don’t really have the time for that in the morning.
- if you were to ask for him to join you, i don’t think he’d turn you down. he’d just stand away from the spray and tie his hair back so it doesn’t get wet LOL
- but he’s all for spending as much time as he can get with you.
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awbublie · 2 months ago
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wait my mc lore just dropped 🙀🙀
mc lore is here >.< fret not!!
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they are a glorified self-insert i am shameless and will insert myself into my favorite media!!!
though she isn't a complete rip-off of me, maybe like 60% me
though i do love napco figurines
(edit: im so stupid and thought mx stood for mexican😭😭😓)
relationship charts!!!
caught mc on a good day!:
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essentially means mc got a higher score than 60 on a test and just got a sweet treat.
feeling like contributing to society, she helps this rando return a phone.
seven:
both work with computers, he's just levels ahead of them.
inferiority complex kicks in til he starts helping her with assignments and omg im in love with this man.
likes his jokes and his robots are sooooo cool, "you think you can make one look like this? :3" insert image
calls him so he can practice his english and she can practice her korean.
the flirty banter really kicks up and they get their hopes up
gets butthurt day 8 when he turns them down.
jaehee:
desperate for female friends mc is overly-sweet and clingy.
jaehee is overwhelmed and explains in order for them to be proper friends time is needed.
they are now bonding over coffee beans and how mc brought some from her last Mexico trip
i WANT THEM TO LIVE TOGETHER SO BAD
yoosung:
misses her siblings so he's the closest to a little brother.
finds out guys don't typically like that when you tell them that, especially if they are older.
they make up and bond over their no-life life
trains in LOLOL for the next couple days bc DANG IT SHE WILL PLAY IN HIS LOBBYS!!!!
share shoujo recs
zen:
when he flirts at first, her heart flutters.
till jaehee gives her the warning, and atp jaehees word is bible
finds him silly but like in a older man kind of way
finds his costumes interesting and asks about the type of fabrics they use
during 707 route, she leans into the whole big sister zen and LOVES IT
jumin:
not too big with rich people and was quick to form an opinion
finds out ab Elizabeth and everything that they had thought gets thrown out the window WHAT A NICE MAN!
til shes asking about the area and he says something along the lines of "why move to a country you know nothing about? You are simply asking to fail. "
YEAH HES RIGHT BUT HE DIDNT HAVE TO SAY THATTT 😭😭😭
is bitter for the next 2 days before she gets over it
caught mc on a bad day!:
felt with the daddy issues (we cannot control our fathers we have nothing to do with our father's errors they do not define what we do or who we become we can disagree with them and still love them)
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the professor was moving too quickly during class, her computer was working, she fell behind and her brain is fried. it feels like it's been happening more and more....honestly it feels easier just to rot in bed sleeping.
getting a random message just worsens her mood. "i cant even help myself and im supposed to help you?" rolling over to try to make sense of the class notes.
saeran:
got kidnapped and had their laptop open
"you follow me on github?"
mc BEGS for him to teach them everything he knows
ends up becoming an intern and moving their classes online
but wait...this guy is lwk kinda cute....
and he's taking the time to teach me??? >.<
blind to their situation mc follows instructions and fufills small tasks
saeran gives her badge "ID:10T"
cleaning his code to filling up the office waterbottle, all in payment for bootcamp-saeran™
V:
reminds her of a teacher she had once, ick
finds him to be kind of a doormat, but so is she
doesn't enjoy seeing how others might view her
(707 route bc i forgot to mention him there) can't help but feel sorry for him, she may not trust him but i mean cmon they can't help but feel bad dude lost his fiance and now seems like he can't keep his life together
rika:
again, desperate for female friends, but this one IS SO DIFFERENT
this is like when you make eye contact with someone of a similar group and you kinda expect automatic friendship but they are cold to you
mc is either ignorant of mint eyes operations or is slowly being indoctrinated, they don't meet rika very often.
they form a kind of bitterness towards her, rooted in her insecurities
"how can someone be so loved?" "how can someone just 'create' a world of their own" "whats so special about her, i'd be able to do something like that too"
by only hearing of her through saeran they feel so insignificant to her influence, it weakens them
209 notes · View notes
gyuslcve · 2 years ago
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hi! could i request an "svt when they're drunk with their s/o" thank you!!
drunk svt with their s/o
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genre: fluff, humour (? i think)
rq: requested by anon!
not proofread
notes: thank you sm anon for this request!! this idea is so cute ;-; this is my first rq i’ve received so cheers to that <33 hope u enjoy this!
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DRUNK SVT WITH THEIR S/O
choi seungcheol
✧ pouty babie (again)
✧ gets v protective of you
✧ he’s barely standing but he’d always have an arm around your waist
✧ “no one.. touch my girl! i’m her man.. hmph”
yoon jeonghan
✧ babygirl mode on
✧ keeps smiling at you :(
✧ is the calm kind
✧ constantly leaning his head onto your shoulder so that you’d braid his hair
✧ “ ‘love you y/n” [ smiles at you ]
hong joshua
✧ i think we’ve all seen him drunk on youngji’s show right
✧ still a gentleman
✧ tries to compliment you (keyword: tries because his words are barely audible atp)
✧ “you’re.. so prettyy…”
✧ kisses you between every word though
wen junhui
✧ cannot stand and will fall
✧ you’ll have to hold him with someone else (preferably cheol or mingyu)
✧ swats his hand and tells you he’s “completely fine”
✧ hugs you so tightly you can barely move
✧ murmurs sweet nothings into your hair
kwon soonyoung
✧ he’s gonna cry. 100%.
✧ hugs onto your arm, doesn’t let go
✧ you’ll have to baby him and smother him with kisses or he won’t stop crying
jeon wonwoo
✧ lots of nuzzling into the crook of your neck
✧ you can feel his breath fanning on your neck
✧ extra intimacy with you when he’s drunk
✧ aka gentle and soft kisses
✧ “thank you for taking good care of me my love.”
lee jihoon
✧ honestly i think jihoon’s just gonna fall asleep
✧ but!! he would be unconsciously touchy
✧ rests a hand in your thigh when you’re driving home
✧ alternatively he would hold your free hand
xu minghao
✧ who let this man get drunk oml
✧ his non-meditating side would take over and his calm composure is ruined
✧ calls his mother and talks about you like you aren’t next to him
✧ “mom.. please let me marry her…” “sorry ma’am i’ll get him home now”
kim mingyu
✧ big baby, you saw it coming
✧ would hug you and lift you up (dw ur safe)
✧ points to his cheeks asks for kisses
✧ or just pouts his lips and waits for you to pepper kisses all over him :(
lee seokmin
✧ he’s so loud omg 😭
✧ makes you play games w/ him
✧ lets you win though (best boy)
✧ you can say literally anything and he will laugh for five minutes minimum
boo seungkwan
✧ cue the dramatic singing
✧ it is an obligation to sing with him
✧ holds your hand while singing love songs to you (he means every single word)
✧ gets cheesy and flirty but denies being so when he sobers up
chwe vernon
✧ as expected, the quiet kind
✧ gets extra touchy though
✧ props his chin onto your shoulder and nuzzles into the crook of your neck
✧ eventually passes out and falls asleep
lee chan
✧ maknae side kicks in
✧ gets so giggly and clingy
✧ if it’s cold, he’d take your hands into his and warm them up while occasionally pressing soft kisses to the back of your hands (and giggles)
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author’s notes: thank you anon again for the cute idea <3 hope you enjoyed this !!
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gem-de-lune · 13 days ago
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Vibe Check 12/12
Teenie Read: Sungchan
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6 of Swords + 4 of Swords + Temperance [The Stars]
This is the combination of 3 questions. Firstly in regards to Sungchan's current state- he is generally well. He seems to be in a resting period of transition. He is calm though- very collected. Very put together. In comparison to the previous read for him he seems a lot more active in that he was actively seeking something or to solve something with others. But in this case, it's like that has already wrapped up, and things are in the process of moving without him having to really do much else. It's active in the sense of finding the path out of the storm and confidently making his way there.
With the 4 of Swords and Temperance these are supportive with the question of if there are any recent developments. It basically just reiterated the 6 of Swords but offered more perspective. As stated, he is not AS active because there is not much else to do other than follow the path and wait. Little by little something is brewing, so he is currently resting and preparing. There's a lot of "knowing" energy here. He is kinda secretive this time- or vague. But the general consensus is that there is something in place it is just going to be better to step away from negativity and chaos to let it play out.
This was confirmed for me with the Stars card which I asked in regards to having anything more he wanted to share in particular. The words "wait a bit, have some faith" popped out when reading this all together. Everything will balance out eventually- I think he is aware of this.
SM Current Energy regarding the situation
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6 of Pentacles + 9 of Pentacles
I am feeling as though there has been a majority shift in a very specific way- pentacles...meaning money. They are looking at things for the long term as always. They are beginning to look at what is more profitable for the long term and realistically the growth they would like to accomplish. This has a lot to do with their saturn return in the 9th house i feel- and I am thinking they are seeing Seunghan has a moneymaker this way or a way to achieve this stability bc Riize is currently not stable. Specifically, I think they may believe the long-term benefits of his addition MAY contribute to a better outlook down the road. But it is just a sentiment, not a firm decision. Moreover- this sentiment seems to be very egotistical- in that as stated before- someone has convinced someone else who was against Seunghan's return- that this was their original thought. Oop.
What is the current plan to bring Seunghan back (from the people on his side at SM)
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10 of Pentacles + 6 of Wands + King of Swords
Money money money and winning. This is a smart individual ensuring that long term monetary goals are met and that someone feels some kind of acclaim. Very similar to what I mentioned above and in other readings. Stability and the feeling of triumph- with a lower emphasis on how the acrual effected individuals feel on a personal level is what will lead to success in Seunghan's return. The emotions of others hold no value to the King unless it is going to bring the Pentacles or victory (6 of wands). He is also egotistical. Right now it's about guiding someone like a puppet by using their desires like a dangling carrot. Showing the results they want to see and letting them speak for themself. They probably have data analysts making presentations on pros and cons.
Is there anything we can do to convince SM to bring him back atp?
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2 of Swords + 3 of Pentacles
Since this is a Yes/No question- the answer is Maybe. Right now, rather than focusing on convincing SM- it seems it is more important to create a more united front in the form of creative display or presentation of protest. Even if we try to convince SM- it seems that they have heard and seen all they need to see and hear. Right now we just need to back up the data and not mess up the statistics.
Oracle
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Sun + Taurus
Never much to add on with this oracle specifically bc it speaks for itself- but i would emphasize that riling up the conservative bull is what is needed to see results quickly- and that we need not be negative. Like Sungchan- he is sitting in positivity and manifesting his outcome after putting in the work. We should be doing the same and then some.
Bottom of the Deck
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King of Chalices + The Chariot
Sometimes I will flip another card on the bottom if it means something more, and yup, yup. I'm telling you rn....it is never a coincidence when cards like the Chariot continue to pop up over and over during readings for a specific topic. There is an emphasis on creativity and activity here. I read this in the last reading as well, but a creative project depicting all 7 members would be very impactful, is what I think.
Final Notes:
Sungchan is a Virgo and since I know Virgos verrrrrrrrry well (my bestie), if he is saying anything, he is saying to look at him and do as he does. Bc as a Virgo, he thinks yall can be dumb sometimes even if he finds it cute. Relax, wash your hands, clean your room. Don't be gross. Take a shot (if ur of age- chill) and chill out. This is a period in which resting is okay as long as we do not lose our passion. Take a break. Come back. Don't forget why we are doing this. Don't forget why we were so upset- because it was never about simply only wanting Seunghan back- it is about what having him back represented and still would represent: his innocence, changing of times, the legal accountability fans need to have on their foul actions, and the accountability the company needs to take for their idiotic choices. Don't forget, but don't be negative. Use positive rhetoric to show those things WILL happen- or rather, have already* happened.
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altcvnningham · 1 month ago
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needy
adler x f!bell
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summary: adler gets up for a morning cigarette. or tries to. read on ao3
tags/cw: established adlerbell, f!bell, she/her pronouns, bell is russian, fluff, light angst, no plot, drabble, smoking mention, kind of domestic i guess, bo6 adler so he's a little soft, pre-bo6 but post-panama, cw references galore, dog imagery as is synonymous w adlerbell atp, author has adhd and goes on prosaic rambles in lieu of an actual plot. this fic could have been an email?? sorry wc: 3.1k
a/n: bwuhhh this was just an excuse to write self indulgent soft morning adlerbell at the rook while i work on my actual pre-bo6 adlerbell rook fic when i have the energy . no plot, lots of rambling, once again kind of just a thinkpiece on their relationship now adler's an old fossil. idk she was doing nothing being left in my notes app ajdkhjkasjk
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He reckons she’s needier these days, more than she ever used to be back in Berlin.
Sometimes he wonders if it’s just his age that makes him feel that way; that perhaps she hasn’t changed at all, and instead it’s the dust settling on his bones, rusted shrapnel over the years snagged in the joints and sinews, that makes him feel sluggish in comparison. It’s the first time in his life since Livingstone brought up the CIA’s desire for more sprightly recruits that he wonders- is he struggling to keep up?
Their reunion after all these years was a messy one: a scrap in an indistinct bar, bloodied knuckles split and bruises welted dark blue, the white of his eye burst red, the curve of her jaw swollen for a good week. Fresh after Panama. As soon as she caught wind of what happened she’d picked up his trail barely a week after he arrived in Bulgaria. Had she come to kill him? He doesn’t know. It isn’t as if she’d confess to it even if she had, and maybe he had it coming anyway. It stopped mattering at all the second the fight had descended into the alleyway, wrestled onto their backs against the cobblestone, where hands had found throats and then jaw, waist, hip, and everything else. Punches had calmed to caresses, curses to kisses, and somehow he’d found himself patching her up back at the Rook, his stray dog come home to him, like old times.
She’d eased herself back into his life easily enough then. Simple and unspoken. Or, rather, wedged her foot back in the door well enough that he couldn’t shut her out again, even if he’d wanted to (as if he hadn’t always kept it ajar all these years just to let her in, never closed, never closed). Never a word for what they are, what they have, the routine they’ve slipped almost effortlessly back into again- that hasn’t changed since the old days- and yet he doesn’t find that it robs it of meaning whatsoever.
If anything, it makes it something rare, special, his diamond in the rough, glinting sea glass washed a perfectly chiselled bead upon the shore. Just as she’d crashed along with the tide as time brought her back to him, he picked her up, tucked her gently back into that place she belonged, in between the rib and vertebrae, nestled inside him all to steady the beat of his restless heart. Her alone enough to settle the frantic, ceaseless palpitations he’s suffered nightly, since… Solovetsky? He thinks? The dull gnawing in the back of his mind all those years in between, that wasn’t sure if he was more frightened for her inevitable return or her disappearing forever, slipping through his fingers back to sea again.
He supposes it doesn’t matter anymore. That was then, and now seemed to fare much nicer.
Now, she rolls sweet and placid onto her back against the mattress, limp as a daisy in rain, soft body bowing to his careful manhandling; he’s itching for a smoke, aching for his vice the second he awoke, hours too early for his alarm. He lifts her off him delicately, almost methodical as he starts with her arm, the heavy loll of her head, her shoulder. Like defusing a bomb, he’d joked once, a comparison she’d only proven right by her explosive reaction to it.
It’s an odd feeling, though, the calm where there had once been nothing but war between them, the quiet, the warmth upon his chest now fading where she’d laid her head after he came back last night- back home, back to her- and it’s in moments like these, just mere glimpses of normalcy, that makes him wonder what could have been his life, theirs, had things not happened the way they did. MK Ultra, Berlin, Solovetsky. Perseus. Then again, he supposes, if she hadn’t been shot in Trabzon that night, if she hadn’t been there at all, then he wouldn’t have known she’d even existed. This mundane moment lost to time like everything else.
She murmurs in her sleep, spurred to wakefulness when the mattress lifts and groans at his absence, her eyes squinting through the sliver of morning light bleeding through the gap in the curtains; even when she’s completely out of it, she doesn’t miss a thing. He’s never exactly been the paragon of stealth when he excels at everything else, but even if every factor in the world had worked in his favour- if the beaten mattress wasn’t so rusted, if the ancient floorboards didn’t squeal underfoot when he stood up, if there wasn’t a constant draft on his side of the room that hit her as soon as he moved- nothing would have stopped her from registering his absence, clawing to fight off sleep just so she had an excuse to grouse at him. Ever his stubborn girl.
“Mm… where y’going…?”
Adler smiles to himself, flat but genuine, stifled by the lethargy that hangs over his head heavy as an anvil. Her accent so thick in the early hours it hardly sounds like English at all. He’s half tempted to reply in Russian, just to see if her cottonmouth tongue latches quicker to that instead.
But he doesn’t, just lingers in the doorway leading out to the hall, feeling only a little guilty for letting in the cold. It rather satisfies him instead to see her shiver and pull the blankets further over herself, keeping her right where he wants her. Right where he needs her, so he knows she’ll still be there when he comes back.
“Smoke,” is all he says, rattling the crumpled pack for her to hear.
She’s half coherent when she grumbles, English sandwiched between Russian endearments. Cussing him out.
“Y’can smoke in here… m’don’t mind. Come back to bed.”
Something tugs at his heart, almost foreign, vague. Something he only feels when she digs her claws in him just like that, even if only to graze. It’s the same certainty as when he wraps his finger around a trigger, pulls a pin, wrenches his hand around the hilt of a knife- unspoken, inevitable. The drop of a guillotine, inexorably quick. A certainty that verges on frightening, a promise, which he’s never been good at keeping, but knows she means wholeheartedly, down to her marrow. Possessiveness, he thinks- (is it irony, now, how often he finds her fist wrapped around the leash he doesn’t even notice he’s wearing?)- people not in their line of work, those with nice houses and desk jobs and white picket fences, he’s heard, call that feeling belonging. To be beckoned like that. Home.
It’s her demand that he stays. Hardly a question. And Bell doesn’t beg.
He’s sure that in her spitefulness, if he’d had a trigger phrase just like hers, she’d spit it at him ‘til he turned heel and crawled back on over to her, slid under the sheets like an apology scrawled onto a note and tucked under the door. It’s a near enough thing- the way her bleary eyes fix on him vengefully through matted lashes, searing her betrayal into him. Every morning he gets up before her, it seems to say: you left me. A petulant notion, only half serious, but one cold enough that it almost works. Frigid. Familiar. Arctic air.
It works a little at least- getting soft in your old age- because he lugs himself back over to the bed and just stands by it, refusing to give her the satisfaction of quiet victory if he climbs back inside. She stretches a languid arm flat across the mattress, rolling catlike onto her stomach, splaying her fingers in the hopes that she might somehow pull him back in to her. She manages a knuckle grazing his knee, before she gives up, pulled under by sleep once more. Head slumped against the pillow, she muffles her disdain.
But Adler is nothing if not at least a little amenable. If he’s sweet on anyone, it’s his Bell. His baby. Hard to let a thing like that go, when she was quite literally made for him. Made by him, in his image. Scraped marrow from rib like Adam, caulking the hole Arash shot through her chest and bestowed life upon her once more. He’s happy to have a piece of himself broken off and left inside her, a tithe tossed to the slab of her altar. The fracture of his soul a discarded lamb in sacrifice, sustaining the sick hunger that starves her.
It keeps them inseparable, he thinks. He’d read something somewhere, pretentious shlock about strings of fate and those bound to it- romantic crap shmucks use to justify ugly marriages and affairs, the suffering of co-dependency given some transcendent meaning, a purpose greater than the mundane. The notion that two people, by whatever higher power, are bound to one another no matter what they do to separate themselves of it, tethered from their first breath and suffering an endless togetherness until their last. He’d rolled his eyes the first time he’d heard of it- there wasn’t a world where he’d be enough of a sap to actually buy into that shit. Maybe his ex-wife might’ve been fond of it, maybe it was something she wrote into one of the letters he kept under his bunk back in ‘Nam. He doesn’t know.
But Bell made him understand it. He’d dug a grave in her when he denied her her own on that airstrip in Turkey, and he buried himself in it, over and over again. His memories, his life, his voice ringing like God’s. His favourite things, treasured, secret. His fears and doubts and worries, every little thing that made up the culmination of his being. It was never just Vietnam he put there. It was everything. She’s half himself, a faded mirror image. It only makes sense that they’d find each other again, eventually. She’d walk the earth, stalking like a bloodhound trailing his dried scent until she found him. She’d roam the endless nights, a ghost shivering their old haunts until he meanders his way back to her again, pulled along by a gnawing ache inside himself- a missing piece he’d seek the rest of his life to fill. She could track him blind. And he would feel her coming, like blood in the water. He did. He did.
It’s that tether that makes it impossible not to relent to her, when he kneels down next to the bed, knee joint cracking under his weight, the mottled floorboard doing nothing to steady him. It’s her, when she has enough leverage now to close the distance between her fingers and the collar of his shirt, curled inside the bleached cotton, fist wrenched tight. The seam digs into the back of his neck but he doesn’t let her pull him to her; he waits, making her work for it. The satisfaction that tends to follow when she does is usually worth her ingratiation.
She drags herself across the mattress, using his body as an anchor. Heavy and boneless, she lays right at the edge of the bed where he kneels, her nose nudging at his jaw as she turns, belly up like prey. Too easy a kill, he knows that. She’s gloating. The fact he’d come back at all means she’s got him right where she wants.
“C’mere,” she murmurs gently, saccharine, cloying. He’s surprised it doesn’t make her gag- the pretend domesticity of it all. Dragging her dried lips, smiling, against the underside of his jaw, her fingers sliding idle up the back of his neck, arm slung around his shoulder like she’s expecting to be carried out.
He humours her with a smirk, his blues nearly grey in the dim dark of the room as she mouths at him, vying for his attention. It’s as much a demand as her words had been, sharp as her tone as she nips at his jaw. Adler sighs, as though turning his face to gaze down at her were something laborious, and not the blessing he counts on every finger, every day, seemingly numbered since Panama. He tuts, and it says, what am I going to do with you?
But if his condescension was an attempt to dissuade her advances, it doesn’t work, because she sees right through his playful façade, and the wry smile that unfurls sleepy on her lips betrays her excitement, the sifting of her legs under the sheets audible as she squeezes them together. Needy. She knows he notices.
“Not gonna work, Bell,” he hums dryly. Yet he steals this moment of her surrender, his eyes flitting to every feature of her face. He doesn’t need to commit her to memory, she’s dug in there like a tick. But God, if he doesn’t like to look at her. He brings a rough hand down against her temple, smoothing the baby hairs back, eliciting a satisfied sigh from her as her eyes slip shut. Her head falls back against the pillow, anticipating a kiss he doesn’t give her.
“C’mon. Back to sleep. I’ll be ten minutes.”
“Five.”
“Bell.”
“Five minutes.”
Adler sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and scrunching his eyes shut.
“C’mon,” she croons, “five minutes… n’then…”
He thinks she’s fallen back asleep, the way her sentence carries off like that into silence. But when he opens his eyes she’s blinking prettily up at him, looking far too satisfied. Just as he opens his mouth to ask why, he feels the warm press of her hand against his knee, sliding up his thigh, fingertips tugged impishly at the sweatpants he’d haphazardly thrown on. He’s lightning quick to catch her, fingers circling her wrist; where the darting action might scare a weaker person it makes Bell’s eyes light up like stars, enamoured with his roughness. Excited. The way only she could be, eager pup biting at his ankles for a reaction.
“Behave,” he scolds, giving her knuckle a cursory smack before releasing her. That must finally be enough to spoil her fun, because she huffs, growling low in her throat, and rolls back over, burrowing herself deeper into the blanket than she’d begun.
It’s always a game to her, one she doesn’t much like losing. He can’t blame her for it. It’s always been that way. Back in Berlin, he’d taught her to play poker the proper way, the American way- whatever that meant- her downfall eternally being the fact she couldn’t bluff for shit around him. And it was just him- she’d caught on quick to the play, and had triumphed a couple times against Sims and Lazar; Park had refused to indulge the game, and Woods wiped the floor with the lot of them, even Adler. But with him, Bell just couldn’t lie. He was carved from marble, impassable- what he’d been trained to do. And she was a piece chipped off his softest part, malleable- of course he’d catch every minute twitch and wince, the flitting of wet lashes, the purse of an uncertain lip. She always told him the truth even with her eyes, her heart bore on her sleeve. It almost always felt like cheating. After all, it was what she was made for, wasn’t it?
And this felt much the same way. Not as strict as the luck of dealt hands and stifled poker faces but she’s never said or done anything to him she doesn’t mean. After he missed the shot in Solovetsky, all cards were strewn on the table. There was no mystery anymore. No joy taken in a good old fashioned backstab when the real damage was done, much too late to rectify. Maybe that’s why she makes it her personal goal to poke and prod and tease him now, chasing her fun in her own way, a decade late. Suppose it’s why she hates when he doesn’t just drop the cool attitude and give in.
He rises from the floor, that same knee joint clicking again. Where she might have mumbled a curt jibe about it, she’s silent, sulking into the pillow.
But just as he goes to leave, Adler stops at the door, a foot out into the hallway, the rest of him still stuck here, stuck on her. He sees a similar image in the back of his mind, of her laid upon the gurney in Die Landebahn, halfway into the back room with a syringe in hand when for one single moment of sobriety it dawned on him, what he’d been doing to her. Nothing like guilt, but it came close. Tinged with the regret of something so shameful as affection, Cupid’s arrow dipped in kerosene, shot straight through his heart; to come out the other side, to let him survive, to let him have this, here, her, now. And it’s a torture to have lived it, to know he doesn’t deserve a lick of it. The soft rise and fall of her breath beneath the blanket. Her hair splayed upon his pillow. She buries her nose deep in the old goose feather to try and keep him where he’s left her. Hold him close even when he’s gone.
The decade’s done much to him. He’d put on a couple pounds, had to start plucking the errant greys flecking his hairline, begun to wake most mornings with a tell-tale crick in his neck. He’s learned to relax that hard line in his brow, drawn too deep to reverse the evidence of age; let himself laugh a little easier, surprised people with his newfound ability to actually smile. He’s lost a lot, gained half as much. He’d been through hell and back, worse maybe than what he did to her- his karma, he supposes. And he supposes the decade’s made him soft, sentimentality creeping in to nestle somewhere he can’t reach, hidden inside himself with all the other things he doesn’t talk about. And he supposes of everything he’s lost, he has Bell again, and all things considered- it’s a fair trade.
He sucks in a breath, a sigh made audible for her to hear. Even as she feigns sleep, he knows she catches it, a flinch of her shoulder- where the shot he missed had landed in lieu of her head. In Solovetsky.
Then, Adler sighs, followed by a promise that feels to her like a confession.
“Five minutes.”
And when the door clicks shut, Bell steals herself a little victory smile.
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cheeseceli · 1 year ago
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What Do You Even Know?
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Pairing: Hyunjin x gn!reader
Genre: fluff, friends to lovers, small drabble
Words: 765
summary: Hyunjin finally realises he doesn't know as much as he thought he did, and he once again discovers something new
request: I can’t help but think of Hyunjin telling someone how much they mean to him as basically a confession and the other person is kind of shy about it and didn’t think he could see them like that and he’s like “ahhh what do you even know” it won’t leave my head 🤞
authors note: tumblr hates me atp i swear. anyways, not proofread as always but yeah
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Hyunjin thought he knew a lot. Of course, he wasn't cocky enough to think he knew everything, but he wasn't clueless either. He knew he loved to perform and to be on stage. He knew he liked to eternalise moments through art and photographs. He knew the boys were his family after living together day after day for 5 years. And he knew you.
He knew he loved your smile and would make anything on his power to keep it on your face. He knew he loved your laugh even though you hated it, and he knew it would physically hurt him everytime you tried to silence it. He knew he hated seeing you cry, and it was so unfair because even then you looked beautiful. He knew he was happier by your side. But he didn't know why.
Hyunjin always had a curious nature, so he couldn't help but wonder why you were so… different. No, he was the different one whenever he was next to you. But you were so casual abou it that he doubted you felt it too. Have someone else noticed it? He acted differently around you, he was sure, but why would-
"Hyunjin?"
He looked at you when he heard your voice. Actually, using better wording, he focused on you once you called his name, as he was already looking at you while he was thinking. He noticed your eyes, how they were shining even when the lighting was bad. Your eyes would've looked so pretty if they weren't filled with worry.
"What?" he replied with a slightly hoarse voice, noticing he probably didn't say anything in a while.
"You looked a little bit lost in thought just now. Are you okay?"
"Oh yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. What were you saying?"
You gave him a small smile, a smile that immediately took some weight off his shoulders.
"Nothing much, I was just rambling about some annoying coworkers. What were you thinking about?"
He tried to articulate his thoughts. Truth is, he didn't know what he was thinking about. Right now, his mind was blank and all he could focus on was the domesticity of the situation. It was a friday night at the dorm. It was too late for you to go back to your home, and even though he didn't say anything, you both knew he was silently asking for you to stay the night. The lights were off and the living room was being iluminated by the moon. Your legs were resting on top of him, his hand slowly caressing your skin. He was thinking about it all. He was thinking about…
"You."
You were taken aback by his blunt words. You didnt't expect him to be so straightforward. And you'd never expect him to think about you so intensely.
"Oh? Care to explain?"
"Just, you know, how I've changed since I met you." He averted your eyes from you, knowing you were observing him, searching for a more detailed explanation "I don't know, I feel like… like I've changed for better?"
He dared to look at you once again. You were watching him so dearly that he felt that he could lose himself on your features once more. Just like that, he understood why he felt so good by your side.
"Yeah, I've definetly become a better person because of you. I am more aware lately. I'm enjoying my life more. I think it's because I get to live it with you."
You were speechless. Even though he didnt't look at you throughout his somewhat confession, you could still feel the genuine feeling behind each word he said. You chuckled, not knowing what to say.
"Wow, I… didn't know you thought of me like this. I'm touched." you said, half in a whisper, half in a giggle, still processing what had been said to you.
It was Hyunjin's turn to laugh lightheartedly to your words, the meaning of his speech sinking in meanwhile he slowly realised what was happening to him, to you both.
"What do you even know…"
Later on, you'd finally realise what he meant with those last words. For now, he was enjoying, aware of the warmth your body radiated towards him. Because now he knew he liked the way you cared for him and why he'd have a smile whenever you crossed his mind. It's because he loves every detail about you, every flaw, quality and insecurity. Above all, he loved you, and now he knew it.
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Feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated!
Header by @cafekitsune as always
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zeherili-ankhein · 3 months ago
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Ok one thing I see every year during this time and I'm again seeing nowadays, that is shaming bangali people for eating non-veg during Navaratri
First of all, Navaratri and Durga Pujo are VERY different. This is basic atp I mean.. but still...
And it's not only about Bangalis, Assamese people, some Odisha people and even some parts of North Eastern people I believe (forgive me if I'm wrong) also have the concept of non veg in their diet even during Puja, Devi Puja to be specific.
And second thing, Bengal's Shakta traditions and rituals are A LOT different.
Like some families have traditions of offering Jora Ilish to Maa on Ashtami, with the believe that's her favourite fish. While some families (like mine) go complete veg on that perticular day.
And most families usually eat mutton on Nabami. That's like a must in most households. Some places even had the ritual of Patha Bali during Sandhi Pujo on Ashtami or on Nabami. That is mostly changed with pumkins or ash grounds nowadays though.
Meat in some places is offered as Bhog to Maa. And on Dashami, some places again offer her fishes as that's the day she leaves us for another whole year.
Also you'd be further shocked to know it's not only during Durga Pujo that we have the tradition of non veg.
Some families just like mine, have the tradition of Ranna Pujo, which is celebrated the day before Vishwakarma Pujo. This Puja is for Maa Manasa, and during this, Maa is offered various dishes made of fishes including Ilish or Rui. Some even offer prawns as Bhog.
And guess what? A lot of places still have Bali Pratha during various Kali Pujos that happens all around the year. I've seen myself.
Most Shaktipeeth, Including Kamakhya and Kalighat also have the same Bali Pratha. I just said those two places because I've seen them myself.
(I do agree it's not really good to kill animals but I'm just saying what is true)
Some Kali Pujo, even have rituals that includes alcohol, yes read right even alcohol as an offering to Maa. Believe me or not, this is 100% true.
So stop saying random stuff like why we are consuming non veg or how we are not following the rules, because rules are different in every part of India.
Yup! That's all. Now be kind and understanding and let us all enjoy our own festivals hmm?
Also to piss off people who'll still say dumb stuff, I ate momos and biriyani today cry about it
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soupthatistohot · 5 months ago
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A rant about why BSD is hard to enjoy right now (in my opinion)
Originally posted this on twitter but I think tumblr folks will sympathize, as well. So, here goes!
The stakes are simultaneously so ridiculously high and also nonexistent. I can't shake the feeling that everything is going to return to normal after this arc is over (everyone we care about will be alive, the world will have been saved), so why should I care about anything that's happening?
To that point -- no one (I care about) stays dead!! So what if Kunikida "died" in the chapter today? I'm sure he'll be back. Dazai also didn't die in Meursault, neither did Fyodor (who actually literally CAN'T die!!). Akutagawa is now alive and well, too! As much as I hate excessive MCD (like in JJK), you need to actually kill off characters sometimes if you're gonna threaten it so often, because then every death lacks emotional impact. I've been, like, numbed to it atp.
There are so many characters I do not know enough about to care about. Who even are the hunting dogs? Bram? Sigma? Asagiri hasn't put as much time and care into characterizing them as the main cast, so when things happen to them I kinda don't give a shit long-term. They were introduced in the middle of a convoluted plot that has taken such precedence over the characters who are supposed to be driving the story.
BSD originated as a character-driven story, and that's what drew myself and so many others to it in the first place. It was bizarre in a charming sort of way. It was about the characters growing and developing as people as much/more as it was about the external conflicts going on. It almost feels like Asagiri has been trying to be too clever about this that he's lost the core of BSD: it's heart.
Similarly, there's a reason this is such a ship-heavy fandom, we live for the character dynamics! But our beloveds have been scattered to the winds for literal years in our time that we've lost most of that interaction we love so much. Give us back our found family dynamics!!
Kind of back to the point about the convoluted plot -- it eels like the characters' intelligence has outgrown us and Asagiri, to the point of seeming impossibly ridiculous. Like what do you mean Chuuya was faking it the whole time and then stopped a bullet from entering dazai's skull and got away from it because of the security camera angle?? what do you mean Fyodor dying by a vampire's hand actually means that he subsumes bram and then he sets off a tripolar singularity to create god and this was his plan all along????
Obviously I don't speak for the whole fandom and these are just my opinions. I'm not saying you have to agree with me or even that BSD is horrible. I just feel like it's kinda lost its way the past few years and I miss the animanga I fell in love with :(
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absolutebl · 4 months ago
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so.. my love mix up thailand fall kind of flat for me and my question is: what would you like to see gemfourth tackle next? any specific genre/existing ip? and maybe to add some spice to the question: i think fourth is a more well-rounded/evolved actor than his partner atp. if you could pair him up w any other gmmtv boy, who'd it be?
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Ooo, fun question.
What G4 should do next?
They did such a great job in Moonlight Chicken I'd like it if GMMTV went a bit gritty with them next.
Here's what I really want?
That angsty actual rich boy / poor boy dynamic @heretherebedork and I have been asking for.
I'm thinking what Dangerous Romance should have been meets what My Ride was (but for younger characters). Take us back a bit, let's revisit the messy that was Make it Right and Love Sick.
I want the dynamic shifted too. By which I mean: Gemini needs to play the poor kid with a huge chip on his shoulder but a big soft heart and a great family but super stressful home life, just scraping by. You can make him brilliant or good at sports or whatever, but probably contemplating dropping out because life is hard.
Fourth can be the spoiled af sad little rich kid with horrible neglectful parents and major coming out drama. Like I mean push it. Kick him out onto the street, really fuck with us and the characters.
Could even dabble in ITSAY territory if they wanted to get queerer.
There.
That's what I want.
Fourth with a new pair
I actually kinda agree with you that he's starting to outpace Gemini, and that might be because he's been handed the more complex roll each time, or he might actually be a better actor.
Within GMMTV's stable?
Mix
No seriously, think about it. They have a great working relationship already, I would love to see Mix with a different partner too. I think they're both great versitile actors.
But can I go crazy out of the box just for fun?
What about Nanon?
Dynamic?
My best friend's older brother?
Again something more angsty?
I'm not as formed on this one. I'd have to think about it a bit more. No existing IP springs instantly to mind.
GMMTV seems to be adapting from Japan these days, what about Korea. So maybe pull one of those?
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