#i mean the source material is all angst
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In The Lonely Hour (1/10)
A03 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
Summary: A collection of canon-compliant(ish) one-shots that provide glimpses of Killian's life based on the album "In the Lonely Hour" by Sam Smith.
Mind on My Money After turning his back on a corrupt king, Killian finds purpose in piracy.
“We'll sail under the crimson flag and give our enemies no quarter.”
Cheers rose from the men - there was far more money to be had in piracy and, apparently, more honour. Killian marched toward the helm, exuding confidence and daring any man to entertain a moment’s fantasy of mutinying against his command. It seemed the cheers were earnest in their support of his command and his newest career path for the former soldiers.
He expected some of the men to hesitate when he proclaimed that they fly the crimson flag rather than a black flag. But, it seemed the senseless loss of their beloved former captain had hardened their hearts as effectively as it had his. He felt the heavy, lifeless body of his brother in his arms, still warm even as his eyes dimmed without the presence of Liam behind them any longer. Anger filled him as he pushed away the intrusive memory, that had stolen his breath and made his hands sweat so that he had to tighten his hold on the ship’s wheel. He welcomed the anger, it made him feel stronger than the desolate despair that had previously encompassed him.
For months, the anger gave him purpose. It fuelled him, empowered him, and drove him in his tireless campaign against the King's navy. His reckless actions and calm leadership in battles painted a brutal reputation that his men boasted about at every port after they had a few too many, but well-earned, pints.
As he watched a heavily-burdened frigate on the horizon try to change course at the sight of his ship, Captain Jones smiled in anticipation of the chase and battle to come. Killian felt a glimmer of warmth - was that pride? - in his chest that his deeds had the best captains of the King’s armada fleeing whenever they caught a flicker of a crimson red flag or navy hull in their spy glasses.
“Raise the crimson, boys!” Killian’s smile was near feral, adrenaline blazing through his body as he steered the Jolly Roger to intercept the naval ship. The sharp clip of orders, the rumble of cannons being rolled into position, and the excited shouts of his crew as they caught up with the Anthem of the Realm rose from the deck and fed the fire in his veins. He never felt more alive than he did in these quiet moments right before…
BOOM!
The crack of wood splintering was met with cheers as the Jolly’s cannon hit her mark. Water splashed onto the deck as the Anthem’s answering cannon fire fell short. Killian gave the wheel to Mr Starkey and jumped down to join his men on the deck. As the sea began beating at the hull, the waters angry by the disturbance caused by the battling ships, he took his place to lead the boarding party as his first mate brought them closer to the pride of the royal navy.
The steady thud of heavy grappling hooks hitting and scraping along the deck made Killian smile. The navy was coming to them. It would be an easier fight if they didn’t have to traverse to the other ship. The Jolly groaned in protest as the boarding lines pulled her toward the larger ship, but her crew held off the sailors as they attempted to cross by cutlass and arrow.
The waters were as crimson as the flag he flew by the time he stood on the deck of the Anthem, her captain trembling at the end of his blade. The captain had been found locked in his quarters, tucked safely away, while his men died around him. His words were desperate words that Killian had heard countless times, “There are chests of gold below deck. I can lead you to them. Please, will you spare me?”
“We’ve relieved the ship of her burdens before finding you cowering beneath your bed, Captain.”
He returned to the Jolly Roger, her hull lower in the water with the pilfered jewels, gold, food, and barrels of fine rum. He cut the lines holding her to the Anthem. Starkey was already pulling the Jolly away from her latest victim. He watched with a satisfied smile as the finest ship in the King’s navy and the last stronghold the king held over these seas sank to the seafloor, taking her craven captain down with her.
The sunset filled the sky with brilliant oranges and reds, and the seas calmed once they claimed the Anthem. His crew celebrated their new fortunes and the lives they fought to keep that day. As they toasted their captain for claiming ownership and power of the seas of the realm, for bringing them wealth, for leading them to victories, for fighting the Kraken, for charming mermaids, and for even more ridiculous myths as the night grew older, he watched the stars.
The anger that had kept him such constant company had started to fade. As a star darted across the night sky, Killian found himself hoping that he could find something, anything to fill the void it was leaving in its stead.
#Killian Jones#Captain Swan#CS fanfic#Liam Jones#angst#lots of angst#i mean the source material is all angst#In the Lonely Hour#Sam Smith#it was going to be Lewis Capaldi but it was too devastating#the happy ending is in canon#because you won't find it here#fanfic by Jas#manip by Jas#it's me - I'm Jas
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Having a fandom isn't a bad thing, it's uniquely incredible. The problem is theres this strange force that somehow shapes fandoms to be painfully identical and samey to eachother where it's a detrimental to the media
#nonsense words#but like#every fandom is so...similar#“heres our mean char heres our wholesome char heres the characters you ship heres the chars you angst”#and these categories VERY COMMONLY do not fit at all and thus waters down the source material and takes away from the context and content#best way to describe it is like#i looked up urbanspook. as a way to gauge the fandom outside of the questionable content and creator perhaps the fanbase is good?#and it was just completely tone-deaf doodles of the killers as sexy monsters or cute moe girls and i got whiplash#theres the right to like do whatever you want but its so glaringly obvious that at this point fandoms don't know how to ever break mold#ITS MISERABLE AHAHA SORRY TO BABBLE
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Finally: The NoHats AU doodles. Plus some sprite edits.
Usually I'd let things speak for themselves and keep my chattering in the tags, but I'll ramble about my context thoughts...
So. First of all here's a link (x) to the Nohats Origin Post for those coming in and going ????.
Anyway. These doodles are not in any obvious chronological order, though Loop going from pilfered bandolier (my headcanon for how Siffrin has all those pockets) -> custom outfit made by Isabeau, is supposed to generally denote 'just after the ending' -> 'a few months down the line'.
And speaking of, Design & Characterisation notes:
Overall: NoHats is suppooooosed to have the range to not just be ULTIMATE MISERY ALL THE TIME (but if you're a major whump/angst fan. go fucking nuts.) so these are supposed to be. The steps toward overcoming and living with grief but. The Misery Is Kind Of The Punchiest Part.... Oops....
Mirabelle: Taking the lead, continuing to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. In the game proper she's already shown to, while yes, be emotionally fragile at times, be prone to trying to hold the team together. I feel she'd do the same here. It also would help that she'd presumably be medicated again? But I can't imagine her chosen-one anxieities would be super ailed by the death of her friend. I wanted to try and give her more differences? She follows the change belief after all and is thus liable to switch up her style in general... But I didn't have a strong vision for this, so. The ball is in anyone's court. Her design changes here are keeping one of Sif's safety pins a la qpr bonding earring, and has the bell pendant at Loop's (oddly pushy) suggestion.
Isabeau: Taking it. Badly. Depression mullet and beard in tow. However, you best believe he is trying real badly to hide it. Loop very much does not reveal their identity to him because What The Fuck Would That Even Do. That's Scary. but they do try to comfort him while mentally regarding him "off limits". Backs themselves into some very unfortunate corners by alluding to their unfulfilled relationship with their Fighter as a point of common ground. I don't imagine this would go super great when recontextualised later after Loop is inevitably found out. Just in general oh good god what the fuck. this is like a radioactive pit of survivor's guilt.
Bonnie: Taking it probably The Worst. This is a child. Who was already feeling guilt. This is who everyone else is trying to keep it together for. Mirabelle and Isabeau would likely be putting up far less of a front without Bonnie around. They take the hat and take on Pocket Duty. They also have slightly more sif-y hairstyle but... Don't worry about it. They'd have Nille to fall back on once she's picked back up, and Loop almost certainly attempts to redouble efforts on making them feel better but seeing as how closed-off Bonnie can already be, it'd likely be difficult. However they would probably take Loop's identity reveal best...?
Odile: Odile's design.... ! Does not seem to have changed? How odd! Well. I'm sure she's dealing with things in a regular and non-cloistered manner. I already think that a regular Postcanon Activity for Odile could be her finding out about the potential for sif/loop to translate books and thus Knowledge in their native tongue assuming that ability sticks around postgame. Something something culture can never truly be wiped out etc etc. But putting it in this context. Makes it more desperate, more of a deflection for something else.
Loop: Helpful Loop. Well. They win! I feel like the entirety of ISAT being about Siffrin's mental state means I don't need to spill much ink here? You get it I think. I can't outdo the source material man. Anyway I imagine Loop is given clothes by Isabeau before they know who they are, but after they've become genuine friends. The outfit is in genuineness, on both sides from Loop and Isa, in having the cloak be a nod in respect to Siffrin, since Loop's "shared culture" would have to come up vis a vis cultural funerary traditions. Hard to avoid divulging that one...
#and since its too blunt to put in the body of the post. yes these are all distinct calls to game events.#mirabelles endgame spoilers comment. prologue odile's 'just one thing. not the thing'. shoulder touch. observatory conversation#odiles is the least obvious because i couldnt find satisfying more direct wording. it was too clunky....#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#nohats au#isat au#isat loop#isat fanart#lucabyteart#isat odile#isat bonnie#isat isabeau#isat mirabelle#anyway once again . accidentally invoking the king with that fucking corset. christ. that ones on me#long post
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SAGAU but Creator Reader has been tagging along with the Gourmet Supremos.
If you didn't know or have forgotten, Gourmet Supremos are one of those quest series that is randomized because some part of the questline can only be accessed with dailies (like Whispers in the Wind or Snezhnaya Does Not Believe in Tears or Garcia's Paean).
This questline spans from Inazuma up to Sumeru. I think there were 6-7 quests in total? I forgot. (it's 8).
(These are Julie, Parvaneh and Xudong in order.) There are more characters that made a cameo in here but we'll just limit it with these three.
Context dropped, onto the short HCs.
• Okay so, I didn't really read the whole story of this one so I'm just going to make some random HCs on the fly. I'm aiming for a goody-feel with this one so no heavy angst will be involved.
• Alright, so. Xudong is the leader of the Gourmet Supremos, and he only found you because when you land in Inazuma, you literally dropped into their camp and was about to steal a sausage from Julie's backpack (but there were so many ingredients there!!!)
• Xudong was fuming, lmao.
"THIEF!! SOMEONE, HELP!"
• Aight, geez, made you run a marathon there.
• The next time you've met, all three were together and they saw you roasting some lavender melon in some dilapidated tent you found while walking aimlessly. Hey, better than no shelter at all. For some unfathomable reason, your inventory only consists of food materials - with everything, and I mean everything, missing.
• God damn. It's like the heaven is telling you something. 🙄
• Anyways, yeah. So for some reason, the only access to the goddamn ingredients are locked, and you can't use it and you don't know when you would be able to use it, so you have to scrounge up whatever pitiful sources you can get.
• Sadly, it's mostly lavender melons.
• Like, you already made several dishes from this and it's really starting to grind on your gears, so you took a dive in one of the caverns and found some meat and was happily grilling it with the melons when the trio came out of nowhere.
"Thief!"
The hell. "I didn't get the sausage, though."
"But you still tried to!"
"I mean, I was dying of hunger, so.. you know."
Julie, bless her heart, gets in between you two. "It's fine, Xudong. They needed help, did they not?"
"But-"
This time, Parvaneh chimes in. "As they've told you, they didn't get anything, so let it go. And you." She points at you with calloused finger. "Who are you?"
That caught you off guard a little. Told them your name and, to Xudong's bewilderment, started chatting amicably with you. Some time later though, he softened a bit but still a little cautious. They traded cooking tips with you, and, to their utmost surprise, you exchanged many tips on cooking as well.
"How do you know all this?" Xudong asked as you finished explaining the difference between sauteing onion and garlic first.
"Oh. I'm uh, a professional chef back in our place. Been years though, so yeah." You replied as you took a bite of their chicken. "Holy shit, why is this so good?"
Julie and Parvaneh just smiled proudly.
• So like, you became a new addition to their team - but you actually specialize in desserts. Xudong has many a great views in cooking, as well as the two ladies, and together you journeyed the whole of Inazuma for rare ingredients and made some two or three journals that have been since published and loved by people. (The fangirling/fanboying is real when you saw Xiangling's message drooling about your own version of Tiramisu).
• One day, however, you lot came across a shrine - it doesn't look abandoned, oddly, but it looks really, really old. You asked them what's the deal with this one, and they explained about the Creator.
Oh.
You're in SAGAU?
Shit.
"People said they've come back, but we don't really know.."
Double shit.
• With that knowledge, you try and avoid the main cities as much as possible and only let the three buy on populated areas. Thank God they didn't really notice you suddenly covering half your face with a mask - which you only shrugged when asked.
"I like masks."
Fair enough, they suppose.
• ..oh fuck, is that Yae Miko?
"Ara, and who is this?"
Xudong, Julie and Parvaneh bows and you hastily followed.
"She is our new companion, Lady Miko."
She looks at you with an impish grin. "Oh?"
Dont act suspicious. Don't act suspicious.
"..yo."
Nice.
• Coming across the main characters from the game are very, VERY rare. You can actually count on one hand the characters you've met:
Yae Miko;
Thoma (he was going around asking for favors as usual and you bump into each other and only had quick apologies as interaction);
Kujou Sara (she was patrolling the area and asked about your mask - which you replied that it's part of your outfit. damn, her glare was fucking menacing!);
Kuki Shinobu (you were side to side buying groceries once), and lastly;
Kamisato Ayato (you actually didn't meet - you just saw him giving speech in a podium for some event you just came across).
• You figured, hey, maybe you're NOT the creator or whatever. And just tried to live normally after some time. The mask stayed though, because you just survived the pandemic back here and was cautious.
• About a year and six months with the team, Xudong suggested you come all to Sumeru to expand your knowledge. Holy shit, yes please!
• ..and then you met the Traveler on your way.
"Your Grace..?"
Triple shit.
😭 sorry for disappearing for about a year - i was too lazy finishing anything. And now, I added another idea not to finish on the list 💀 wrote this whole thing in like 30 minutes motivation really is a wonderful thing, huh?
#sagau brainrot#genshin impact#genshin impact sagau#genshin isekai#genshin headcanons#sagau idea#sagau x reader#sagau#genshin sagau
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sealing the deal
pairing: patrick zweig x reader
summary: you and patrick make a few unique business proposals to each other.
word count: 7k
warnings: succession au – tomshiv dynamic (pre-failmarriage), proposals (business and romantic), fluff, a little angst, mentions of a dad being very sick/almost dying, lots of exposition/background on the relationship, art cameo, a little domesticity, established relationship
author’s note: you don’t have to know anything about succession to enjoy this fic! i’ll explain everything that you need to know. if you’re a diehard succession fan i can’t promise that everything will be completely faithful to the source material but it definitely takes a lot of inspiration from tom and shiv’s dynamic.
i wanted to give a HUGE thank you to my succession anon who gave me so much help and guidance for this fic and basically ended up being my co-author for this fic! i hope you all enjoy :)
It wasn’t always easy loving the youngest son of the owner of a multi-billion dollar media conglomerate.
In fact, most of the time, it was quite the opposite.
Even without Patrick working in his family’s business, it always felt a little bit like you were in a competition for brain space and time with his family and career, and you were losing. Badly.
You weren’t exactly sure that you knew what you signed up for when you first met Patrick—connected to each other by a mutual friend you went to business school with, whom you’d begged to try to set you two up for career advancement purposes more than anything else.
“You know that guy you keep asking me about?” your friend asked you after taking a hefty sip from the drink the bartender just passed her.
“Patrick Zweig?” you asked, not bothering to pretend like you didn’t know who she was talking about.
“Yeah!” she laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. You weren’t sure where she was going with this subject, but you were intrigued by her mention of the man and her apparent entertainment at the situation.
“What about him?” you asked, perversely curious as to why she was bringing him up now.
“I invited him to come out with us tonight!” she laughed once more as she divulged this information, as if it wasn’t shocking news to you.
“What? What the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me before!” you practically yelled at her over the sound of loud music and other bar patrons. You suddenly felt very self conscious. If you’d known you were going to meet Patrick Zweig tonight, you would’ve put yourself together, rather than coming straight from work to the bar.
“I wanted to surprise you!” she continued with her giggling at a situation that you did not find nearly as humorous. “Oh my god. I wish you could see your face right now.”
“I hate you!” you laughed, thinking that maybe this was some sort of prank. “You’re joking, then?”
“No, he’s really coming. He just got back from D.C. and wanted to meet with me. I asked if my hot friend could come along and he was like, ‘Obviously!’”
You groaned aloud. This wasn’t how you intended to make your first impression on him.
“Okay, well, what’s his type?” you asked her, hoping to get a bit of insight before you were launched right into what might end up being your first date. You were sure that you would make a good impression if you showed up as you were, but you wanted to be better than good. You didn’t want to be just another forgettable notch on his bedpost.
“I don’t know,” she sighed, taking a sip from her drink. “Hot? A nice ass? A little mean? Isn’t that every guy’s type?”
“You’re not taking this seriously enough for me,” you replied. You wanted to have a strategy going into this. You would’ve appreciated at least a small briefing before meeting someone so intimidating.
“I am, you just check all the boxes already. Just be yourself and I’m sure things will work out fine,” she assured you.
Her assurance was well warranted, considering that things worked out far better than fine. In fact, your friend was overdue for a fruit basket—one that you would be paying for with Patrick’s credit card as you sat in the dining room of your shared penthouse apartment, after you wrapped up a day of work in the skyscraper that was his father’s corporate headquarters.
At the time, you had a slight idea of who he was, but you had an even better idea of who his family was. Anyone who owned a television would be familiar with his family’s corporation—from the causal channel surfers who passed one of their many news channels during their search for the newest episode of The Bachelor, to the thousands of people with their logo burned into their device screen from the hours they spent with their eyes locked on the 24-hour stream of borderline propaganda.
Beyond his impressive family, you’d heard whispers and rumors about Patrick for a long time. Between headlines in gossip magazines and stories from your mutual friend, you learned that he’d entered the political world as an attempt to make a name for himself outside of his family name, but struggled to be taken seriously for many years due to the less than stellar reputation that came with being a Zweig.
Although, rumors about his career were just the tip of the iceberg. Gossip about his tumultuous relationships—if they could even be called that—and history of partying far too hard often ran wild, making you believe that your initial meetings with Patrick would be nothing more than a few hookups and sweet talking yourself into a new job. After all, there was no better pillow talk than an elevator pitch.
At first, your plan seemed like it was right on track. You ended your first night together in the early morning, finding yourself in Patrick’s apartment for hours. Your night hadn’t really ever ended, with the two of you leaving the bar together, having some of the best sex of your life in a bed that felt a little bit like laying on a cloud, then proceeding to talk for hours until it was time for you to go back to work. You smiled to yourself as you sat in the backseat of Patrick’s car, exhausted from the long night and a little uncomfortable in yesterday’s clothes, but mostly enthusiastic after your surprisingly eventful night with the man.
It was a strange turn of events from what you initially expected. While you couldn’t be too sure what you were getting yourself into when you learned you were being set up on a date, you assumed that Patrick would be like any other rich asshole you’d gone out on dates with, who got what they wanted from you, sent you off on your merry way, then never spoke to you again. You quickly discovered that he was unlike anyone you’d ever been with before.
Patrick seemed to be full of surprises, and the fact that you were going on multiple dates with him in the first place was one of those very surprises. You hadn’t expected to go on any more than three dates before you asked about working for his family, securing yourself a job, then leaving him alone.
What took you by even greater surprise were the dates themselves. What started as an intimate dinner in one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city ended with you at a terrible 24-hour diner, treating Patrick to his first slice of cherry pie as you talked into the wee hours of the morning.
Your subsequent dates went similarly, with the two of you talking endlessly about anything and everything. Patrick was someone full of surprises—he was far from the rich asshole you expected him to be, and more like a knowledgeable politics nerd with a lot of money.
You talked for hours about big things, like why Patrick decided to pursue a career as a political strategist and what brought you to New York City, but you also found it easy to discuss small random things with him, spending an extended period of time discussing how you named your cat, and debating on the best restaurant in the city.
You always thought of yourself as being somewhat agreeable and friendly when it came to conversation, but your discussions with Patrick took you by surprise. You weren’t sure you’d ever clicked with someone the way you clicked with him, and it made you as excited as it made you nervous.
By the time you worked up the nerve to ask Patrick about working for his family, you were already beat to the punch. The two of you were tucked into the booth that you’d recently declared as yours in the same diner that you seemed to be spending all of your all-nighters in, reclining comfortably in the particularly uncomfortable seats.
“Do you like the business side of things?” Patrick asked you, stirring a flattening Diet Coke with a straw.
“It’s fun,” you dismissed. “It’s less fun going to work on a half-hour of sleep.”
“Shut up. You love it,” the man across from you laughed, an admittedly very handsome half-smile on his face. “I mean it though. Do you like what you’re doing?”
“It pays the bills, I guess. I like the work, but I’m not huge on the company. All the politics and the instability with layoffs lately… It isn’t exactly ideal.”
“Would you ever work for my family?” he asked. “I mean, you’re just wasting potential elsewhere. I really think they could use someone like you on their team.”
“Seriously?” you asked, partially surprised at the proposition, but mostly surprised that you weren’t the one to ask in the first place. Across the table, Patrick listened to you intently. “I mean, If they’d have me, I’d love to work for them.”
“My dad mentioned something about them looking for some new blood. I can put in a good word for you, if that sounds interesting to you.”
“Is this because I showed you the joys of a slice of diner cherry pie?” you joked, trying not to let on just how overjoyed you were about this opportunity.
“You got me. And now that you mention it, we should probably order another slice,” he suggested, going along with your joke. “You’re smart and you clearly know your shit. Besides, I’m mostly doing it for myself. It’ll be nice to have someone around at company Christmas parties who can actually keep up with me.”
“Well, thank you,” you replied calmly, though you were doing somersaults in your mind. “I look forward to drinking eggnog and singing Mariah Carey songs with you.”
In retrospect, you recognized this action as the first of his many wordless declarations of love. You later learned that Patrick did everything he could to avoid talking business with his family, as it was clearly a sore spot for everyone involved. Realizing that he’d gone out of his way to get you a job had been an even more kind gesture than you knew at the time.
While you initially expected your fling to taper off after Patrick fulfilled his end of the business deal he didn’t even know he was facilitating, your relationship did nothing of the sort. In fact, his favor seemed to have the opposite effect on your bond.
Before you knew it, the two of you were courting each other like lovesick Jane Austen protagonists. In another shocking turn of events, Patrick ordered flowers to your doorstep each morning and took you on lavish dates, while you began to take four-hour long train rides to and from D.C. each weekend to visit him, and frequently sent him rambling love letters.
While you hadn’t expected for your relationship to unfold the way that it did, you genuinely loved Patrick. You loved the way his eyes crinkled when you told him something stupid that he’d laugh at, or how he leaned in to whisper something judgmental in your ear about someone you mutually disliked during family events. You loved the way his hand felt in yours and the way his mind worked, which he frequently displayed to you while discussing his latest political strategy. You even loved when he minced words to describe how he felt about you, knowing that though the word ‘love’ might never leave his lips, his actions spoke far louder than his voice ever could.
It just so happened that you loved his proximity to power, too.
While his money and power might have piqued your interest initially, it didn’t change the fact that the two of you quickly clicked. You had a natural chemistry, with you matching Patrick’s flirty words and actions with ease. It also just so happened that you entered each other's lives at the perfect time, with you in dire need of a career upgrade, and Patrick in need of someone unafraid to show him more affection and care than he was willing to give.
Though he wasn’t the best at communicating his feelings, you quickly became a tenured professor in Patrick-ology. You were certain that this played a role in why Patrick liked you so much in the first place—being somewhat emotionally stunted, he needed someone who could understand his thoughts without him having to explicitly say every detail, and you did exactly that.
This skill worked out surprisingly well for you. You gave him the love and understanding that he’d been looking for and missing for all of his adult life, and you got to reap the benefits that came with being in a relationship with someone in one of the most powerful families in the world.
Despite your more humble beginnings, you quickly became familiar with luxurious items and activities. You also quickly learned that no matter how prepared you thought you were for that level of wealth—you weren’t. You couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times your unfamiliarity with certain norms left you as the laughing stock of the family.
But it wasn’t all corner offices in skyscrapers and helicopter rides. During the honeymoon phase of your relationship, it certainly felt like it, but the cracks in your foundation became more and more evident every day.
The thing was, as much as you two cared about each other, there was a family shaped shadow that loomed over everything that you did. It was clear that you were an outsider in Patrick’s family. Coming from an upper-middle class Midwestern background, you were often made to feel like you were a stupid gold-digger, only staying around your boyfriend for power, rather than love. At times, you wondered if his family knew what love was at all.
The love, or lack thereof in Patrick’s family was what shocked you most of all. It was no secret that his father was unnecessarily cruel to all of his children, but particularly to his siblings trying to work their way into more serious positions in the company. Patrick somehow managed to dodge that particular flavor of cruelty, with him very obviously being his father’s favorite and working outside of the family business, but the emotional scars his father left still lingered.
But his father’s presence didn’t just loom over him, it was beginning to loom over you, too. Not only in the extreme intimidation you felt when having to interact with him, but in the small acts of callousness Patrick showed you throughout the course of your relationship.
It began as small things, things that bothered you less the more you got used to them. Like how he always seemed to unconsciously belittle your work, not even bothering to seem interested in the recaps you gave of your day before he launched into a story of his own about the candidate he was working with. Though you tried your hardest to fight through your smaller pet peeves with him, Patrick’s inability to be straightforward about his emotions felt like the cherry on top of an already painful sundae.
Regardless of all of the flaws, bumps, and roadblocks in your relationship, you promised to yourself that you would be in Patrick’s corner, no matter how ugly things got or how poorly he treated you. Not only out of your own self-interest, but out of your love for the man, and the knowledge of how difficult his upbringing made certain things for him.
Which was why when you got the call from Patrick that something had gone terribly wrong with his father while coming back from his birthday celebration, you didn’t hesitate to rush to the hospital, encouraging your driver to speed all the way to the building.
When you arrived, he and his siblings were in disarray in a way you’d never seen before. His father, who was typically a presence that towered over everyone in the room, was reduced to an old man hooked up to a number of machines. His older sisters, who were always either waiting for the moment to swoop in and make a crude joke or waiting in the wings to discuss the next business strategy, paced back and forth endlessly, clearly feeling the pressure of their sick father.
Patrick sat alone on an uncomfortable chair, peering helplessly into the observation room. It was rare for you to see him with his feelings written so openly across his face, even after years of being in a relationship with him. That concerned you.
You made quick work of walking over to Patrick, whose tensed-up shoulders slightly dropped as you took a seat next to him. Though he wouldn’t ever tell you this, you knew that your presence made him feel more supported and a little more safe, though you being or not being in the hospital clearly wouldn’t have an impact on if his father lived or died.
“Hey,” he greeted you, immediately squeezing your hand. “Thanks for coming,” he said weakly, as if he was fighting off a new round of tears. In that moment, you so desperately wanted to take some of his emotions for yourself, knowing that Patrick hated feeling any feeling, let alone such negative feelings to such a serious degree.
“Of course, honey,” you reassured him, running what you hoped would be a grounding hand up and down his arm. “Is there anything I can get you? Coffee? Water? A snack? I saw that burger place you like on my way over.”
“No, nothing right now,” he sighed. You inspected him cautiously, knowing that he wasn’t exactly one to always say what he meant. “Really,” he assured you, though you didn’t completely buy it.
Since he wasn’t in the mood for more material items, you decided that the best course of action was a little affection. He wasn’t always the biggest fan of receiving affection in front of his family, but you figured that in a time where he was uncertain if his father would live or die, he would appreciate a little outward support.
You laid your head on his shoulder and angled your body closer to his. Not expecting any response, you were surprised when Patrick kissed the top of your head. “I’m glad you’re here,” he told you quietly, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he’d be in trouble if someone overheard him.
You held his hand as the two of you sat for hours, only getting up to stretch your legs or take phone calls from friends with insight on other high-end medical facilities that might be able to better accommodate Patrick’s father.
You did your best to give Patrick his space when he needed it, as he floated between two of his siblings—one of which was focused mainly on the future of the company, and the other in a state of denial about the state of her father—then back to you when he could no longer stand the chaos of his sisters.
It was a stressful scene, and one that was clearly too much for your boyfriend, who went back and forth between wanting to be glued at your hip, and wanting to be left completely alone. You’d seen Patrick stressed in the past, with him chatting your ear off as he waited for his candidate’s election results, or as he prepared to give a speech at an event, but you’d never seen him like this.
He almost seemed fragile, like one wrong word or action might break him. It frightened you to see him in such a state. Again, you lamented not being able to take some of his pain for yourself.
In the time that you waited without any word from any doctors, a few gears began to turn in your mind. Life was so fleeting, which was proven by Patrick’s mighty father falling so seemingly easily. Really, it could’ve been any of you sitting on that table with tubes and monitors attached to you. If it were Patrick who was sitting on that gurney, you would be an absolute wreck. If he somehow died, you also wouldn’t technically be a widow, despite your long-term relationship with the man.
All of it made you wonder if you should just bite the bullet and propose to Patrick.
Sure, it wasn’t the best timing ever. Sure, you’d always imagined yourself being on the receiving end of a grand proposal, especially from someone like Patrick. But maybe he would appreciate the gesture—giving him a distraction to take away some of his pain, and giving him one final grand milestone with you while his dad was still alive.
To a lesser extent, being married would provide you with certain protections you didn’t have while you were only his long-term girlfriend. Obviously, you didn’t want to think of anything bad happening to your boyfriend, but accidents and tragedies could happen at any point, and it was better to be prepared than to be sorry.
It felt right that you might be able to join his family during a time where he was losing a family member. Not only for his sake, but because losing their patriarch meant unprecedented instability in his family. You wanted to be sure of your spot amongst them, after you’d grown used to the privileges that came with being Patrick’s girlfriend.
You fidgeted with the ring on your middle finger, a family heirloom passed from generation to generation onto you. It was no expensive piece of jewelry, and it certainly wasn’t an engagement ring, but it was incredibly meaningful to you—a symbol of your family, which was extremely important to you. Patrick knew just how much you valued the ring and exactly what it represented to you, so in turn, you hoped that if you gave it to him, he would understand how much he meant to you.
Getting up from where you’d been sitting for far too long, you began to pace the hallways of the hospital, wondering about the timing of your now imminent proposal. As you shuffled through the sterile building, you surprised yourself as you came across your partner.
“Patrick!” you said with a start after unexpectedly catching a glimpse of him.
“Hey,” he greeted unenthusiastically before beginning to walk right past you.
“Wait,” you grabbed onto his arm before he could fully walk away, encouraging him to look right at you. It was now or never, and the words were on the tip of your tongue.
“I’m sorry, I really don’t have time for this right now,” he dismissed, his voice monotone and listless.
“You do, though. Patrick, listen,” he didn’t look like he was in the mood to talk, but was prepared to listen to you anyway. You knew you only had a few seconds to pitch your proposition before you lost him, so you spat out your words rather than beating around the bush. “Let’s get married.”
“What?” he looked at you with brows drawn in confusion. It wasn’t exactly the ideal reaction to your proposal, but then again it wasn’t much of a proposal. “Right now?”
“Obviously not now, but… soon?” as you spoke, you began the process of slipping the ring off your middle finger and attempting to present it to him in the palm of your hand. Sure, it wasn’t the most romantic or put together proposal, but it felt right to be offering him such a grand and personal gesture while everything else was going sideways in his life.
“I know it’s probably not the best time, but I thought that maybe I could make things a little better with your dad and… I don’t know. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If something ever happened to you, I wouldn’t want to wonder about what we could’ve been and-” you rambled on before you were interrupted with a sigh.
“Honey, you can’t just make my dad dying better,” he rubbed his temple exasperatedly, then looked between you and the ring you were presenting him with. “If you wanted to make me feel better, you should’ve just brought me coffee.”
You frowned at him, knowing that you’d offered him that very thing earlier and he turned you down. You wondered if your communication would ever improve—or if it even needed to improve, since this proposal was going so poorly that you’d probably leave the hospital single.
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” you closed your palm and put your hand in the pocket of your jacket, fully prepared for Patrick to tell you to fuck all the way off. It had been stupid for you to think that Patrick would appreciate such a grand gesture during such a terrible time.
“Wait,” Patrick stopped you, now reaching for your arm. “My answer isn’t a no, it’s just… I don’t want this to be the memory. Of course I’ll marry you.”
Doing all the work of getting your hand out of your pocket, he grabbed the ring you presented him with to further prove his words and slipped it on his ringer. It only fit halfway down his finger, but he kept it on regardless.
“Really?” you said, suddenly perking up.
“Duh,” he replied, looking a little shy as his cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he briefly looked away from you, as if his feelings were so strong that he couldn’t even manage to look you in the eye.
You couldn’t contain your excitement at his answer, jumping and squealing a little bit as you pulled him into an overly enthusiastic hug. You heard the familiar sound of Patrick laughing quietly in your ear as you squeezed him. Though he always seemed to hold back his emotions, you knew that he was just as excited as you were to be promised to one another.
You pulled him into a soft kiss, draping your arms around his neck, holding him as close as you could until he inevitably pushed you away.
Patrick surprised you with how long he was willing to embrace you, clearly in need of a little bit of comfort after such an emotionally exhausting night. You surprised yourself when you ended up being the person to pull away.
“Should we go check on our family?” you asked, not bothering to hide your excitement around finally being in.
“I just need a second,” he told you, glancing down the hallway before pulling you into yet another embrace. He pressed his face into your hair, soothing himself with your scent and presence. You rubbed circles into his back and muttered something about him taking all the time he needed.
You were interrupted by one of Patrick’s sisters, whose voice called out your names down the hallway. “When you two are finished with your snuggle-fest, the doctor has news for us.”
“Wait, what?” Patrick pushed you away quickly, his tune changing in an instant.
“Good news, I think. But move your asses. C’mon,” she directed, already turning away and Patrick quickly following her.
If you were experiencing an emotional rollercoaster, you couldn’t even begin to understand how Patrick was feeling. Finding out his dad was sick, being proposed to, and immediately hearing more news about his father in the span of just a few hours must’ve felt unreal.
You sat quietly and observed from the sidelines as a doctor took them into their father’s room and filled in the siblings on the state of him. They all seemed to share a collective sigh of relief, and though you couldn’t hear the exact news from where you were sitting, you knew that it must’ve been good.
When Patrick came back to you, he had a hint of a sad smile on his face. “Ready to go?” he asked you.
He didn’t need you to ask twice. You were more than prepared to escape the too-bright lights, sickeningly sterile scent, and the feeling of sadness that seemed to be hanging in the air of the hospital.
Your driver was a welcome sight, with him giving you a quiet greeting as the two of you got in the backseat of the car. As he drove, Patrick reached for your hand, which you gladly gave up to him.
In the following minutes, Patrick crept over further into your space until he sat directly beside you, leaning his head on you with his eyes closed. The long day was surely taking its toll, with the anxiety of his dad being in such dire straits, and the excitement and confusion of you proposing to him.
His sleep was well earned. You pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, then closed your own eyes, letting the soft sound of the early morning city traffic lull you to sleep.
In the following days, you could tell that something wasn’t quite right with Patrick. At first, you chalked it up to nerves around his father’s health, but that didn’t seem to be it. Typically, when Patrick was really anxious about something, his silence on the elephant-sized topic gave him away. While you’d heard quite a bit about the state of his father from him—whether it was an update sent to him by his step-mother or an actual visit to the man—you hadn’t heard a peep about your engagement since the day after you got engaged.
On the other hand, you were struggling to keep the news to yourself, despite the request of Patrick. You wanted to scream the announcement from the rooftops, but in the early morning after you returned from the hospital, Patrick made his position very clear: Wait a little while for things to blow over before you started telling people– your friends and family included.
Despite the fact that he wore your ring every day since the day that you’d given it to him, something about his behavior told you that it was that very ring that was giving him so much internal conflict.
In the past few years of knowing Patrick, you learned that he was a bit of a control freak. You wondered how out of control it made him feel for you to be the person to propose to him. Part of you wondered if you should’ve even proposed in the first place if it was going to be an issue. Maybe you should’ve let him do things on his own timeline, rather than making him feel nervous or insecure in your relationship.
But at the same time, Patrick initially seemed rather entertained by the idea of you getting married. In the morning after your engagement, he couldn’t stop referring to you as Mrs. Zweig. At the desk of your brand new office, given to you after a serious promotion, you found a box of expensive chocolates with a note fondly referring to you as his fiancé. As you laid next to him in bed that night, he pulled up the profiles of three separate wedding planners and asked you about your preference in people.
It almost felt like his feelings on your engagement were constantly fluctuating between being excited to be with you forever, and being terrified of that very commitment. Things weren’t made any better by Patrick’s professional-level ability to dodge questions, especially questions related to how he genuinely felt.
“C’mon, you know how I feel,” he replied to you after you directly asked him over breakfast. He lifted his mug casually, subconsciously putting space between the two of you.
“Pat, I don’t. That’s why I asked,” you forced out a laugh, though the situation wasn’t exactly funny to you. If Patrick didn’t want to marry you, you didn’t want to force him to do so.
“But you always know how I feel,” he said with a bit of a pout and a whine—what you called his ‘let me get away with it’ demeanor that he often used with his family—before setting down his coffee and standing up.
“Not this time,” you explained, standing up as well and abandoning the plate of half-eaten eggs in front of you.
“You’ll figure it out,” he dismissed your concerns and stepped close enough to you to hold your face in both of his hands.
“Love you?” you asked, hoping that if he could confirm that at the very least, you might have a better understanding of what was going through his head.
“Of course,” he said genuinely, though he didn’t offer you any parroting of those words. Instead, he dropped his hands from your cheeks and kissed one of them. “Have a good day at work, okay?”
“Yeah. Thanks,” you tried not to look as annoyed as you actually felt as you made quick work of grabbing your work bag and leaving. You needed some time to make sense of it all.
The situation only became more complicated as you sat down in a conference room, mentally preparing yourself to make your first big presentation as the newly vetted Head of Parks and Cruises division. You cared greatly about what your peers thought about you, so you couldn’t deny the nerves running through your veins.
These nerves only increased when you caught a glimpse of Patrick from the floor-to-ceiling glass windows of the conference room, shaking hands with people on your floor and clearly making cordial small talk.
You desperately hoped that he was there to wish you luck on your presentation, and not to pick your conversation from the morning back up. You bitterly thought about how he couldn’t have picked a worse time as he waved at you from the window. You stiffly waved back, not exactly in the mood to be interrupted right before a big presentation.
“Hey, if I don’t make it back for whatever reason, you can do this presentation, right?” you asked quietly, leaning into your newly-hired assistant’s ear.
“Wait, what?” he asked you, brows furrowing. “I don’t know, I haven’t practiced or anything, and-“
“Perfect,” you replied, not listening to a single word he was rambling out. “Just read off the slides. You’ll be okay.”
You didn’t bother staying to listen to Art ramble in your ear about how he didn’t know what he was doing. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be the one presenting, and if he absolutely had to, he’d probably be fine.
You shut the door behind you, politely waving at one of your co-workers as they entered the conference room. You made your way to Patrick and stood with your arms crossed against your chest, trying to strike a good balance between showing him how agitated you were, and not trying to further agitate your fiancé, who seemed to be in a particularly fragile mental state lately.
“Hi honey, is anything important going on?” Patrick asked once you stood across from him.
“Actually, yeah. Is there any way we could chat a little later? Like maybe an hour or two?” you suggested. “I can block some time off on my calendar for you and everything.”
“I’m sure whatever it is isn’t more important than this,” he glanced over at the conference room as he spoke to demonstrate his point. You wished you could explain to him how far that was from the truth.
“What is it?” you asked, your patience beginning to grow thin.
“You’ll have to see. Come with me?” he offered.
“Patrick, I’m in the middle of a meeting!” you whisper-shouted, trying to keep your voice down and your body language mostly neutral, so your colleagues couldn’t observe how much you were freaking out as you talked to your partner.
“It hasn’t started yet,” he dismissed casually. “They’ll be fine without you. I won’t be fine without you.”
You eyed him suspiciously.
“Please,” he added, as if you’d ever be able to say no to him—though you were pretty tempted to do so.
“Fine,” you gave in with a small, soft sigh. That didn’t deter Patrick at all, who seemed uncharacteristically excited as the two of you sat in the backseat of his car.
“So where are we going? Or, what are we doing?” you asked, trying to ignore the terrible feeling in your gut that you felt about leaving your meeting.
“It’s a surprise,” Patrick said coyly. “It’ll be more fun than that meeting, though.”
“I’m sure,” you replied, looking out the window. You hoped that whatever romantic gesture Patrick planned would be worth losing the respect of all of your peers. You wondered what you could tell them that would make your absence seem acceptable. Family emergency? It wasn’t exactly a lie. It wasn’t quite the truth either.
When your ride stopped and you stepped out of the vehicle, you were surprised to find yourself at the diner that you spent the majority of your first few dates at, splitting pieces of pie and talking each other’s ears off for hours.
“Craving some cherry pie?” you asked him curiously. Obviously, this seemed like a task he could’ve handled on his own, coming to the diner himself or having his driver buy and deliver him a whole pie, but you figured that maybe he was simply in the mood for some nostalgic comfort. In the midst of such chaos, you would be happy to give that to him.
“It’s been too long,” he shrugged before grabbing your hand.
Patrick led you to the booth that you declared as yours all those years ago, and began to chat your ear off like normal. While you wanted to think about work, it was surprisingly easy to forget about the real world when you were in such a nostalgic place with him.
The two of you ordered your old usual order, only enhancing the feeling of nostalgia as you shared a plate of painfully average pancakes and a slice of cherry pie.
“Ew, what is that?” you laughed after you bit into something hard and gross. “This fucking place,” you muttered, looking for a napkin that you could spit out whatever it was that you almost just consumed.
When you glanced down at the napkin, you were shocked to find what looked like a metal ring covered in cherry syrup. “Oh shit. Do you think this belonged to someone?”
Once you looked up, you were shocked to find Patrick holding a black velvet box, one that you’d seen before nearly a year ago as you deep-cleaned your shared bedroom, one that you chalked up as a gift for his mother or a friend.
“Patrick?” you asked, clearly confused. He parroted your name right back to you and opened up the box, showing you one of the most beautiful rings you ever laid your eyes on.
Suddenly, it made sense why he asked you to come out with him, interrupting you in the middle of the day to take you to a diner where you shared so many memories. Sure, he could’ve waited until you got off work, but you figured he was thinking about your conversation from the morning and wanted to do something that would show you how much he truly cared about you. He’d always been better at bigger gestures than verbally sharing his feelings, so part of you remained unsurprised.
“I first fell in love with you here, so it only felt right to bring you back here to ask you to marry me?” he explained, not breaking eye contact with you. He was never one for a soapbox when it came to sharing his feelings, so his proposal was short and straight to the point. Though, you wondered if he had more words prepared that he simply couldn’t get out. Based on the speed of his leg bouncing under the table, you knew that Patrick was nervous out of his mind—despite him already knowing what your answer was.
You recalled what Patrick told you in the hospital about not wanting your proposal to be the memory—the memory you told others about when you shared the news, or fondly recalled to your kids in ten years when you reminisced on your love story.
If accepting his proposal now, and acting like his proposal was the only proposal made him feel better, you didn’t see any reason why you wouldn’t fully lean into it.
“Oh my god!” you exclaimed, genuinely being surprised at the offer, but playing up your excitement for the sake of your nervous fiancé. “Of course I’ll marry you, Pat.”
Patrick broke into a toothy grin, his excitement contagious to you. “Give me your hand,” he directed, taking the ring out of the box.
He slipped the ring onto your finger, and it somehow looked even better on your finger than it did in the box. You looked at it in amazement curling and uncurling your hand to look at the ring from all of its angles.
“It’s gorgeous, Patrick. Thank you,” you told him earnestly as you looked from your hand to him. You weren’t surprised by the quality of the ring or even that he found something that you liked so much. Growing up with lavish gifts constantly being given as an expression of ‘love’ made Patrick pretty damn good at giving you gifts. As for the other expressions of love… he wasn’t the best. But he was very obviously trying his best for you, and you loved that about him.
In some ways, your proposals felt like the perfect encapsulation of your roles in your relationship. While you offered Patrick a ring with little monetary, but high emotional value, he gave you a ring that was probably more expensive than you could ever fathom, that didn’t have the same emotional ties that your family heirloom of a ring did.
Beyond the appearance or symbolism behind your rings, and despite your very different proposals, you were ecstatic to be engaged to Patrick. It only felt right that after years of loving the man, you two were finally making things official in the legal sense.
As you peered at your shyly smiling fiancé, you couldn’t help but break out into a grin yourself. You underestimated just how exciting it would be for you to be starting a new chapter of your relationship.
#patrick zweig x reader#patrick zweig x you#patrick zweig imagine#patrick zweig headcanon#patrick zweig smut#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson x you#challengers fic#reader insert#josh o'connor x reader
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Dead boy Detectives review
I've watched all eight episodes of Dead Boy Detectives and it was a decent show. It's not something I may obsess over like The Sandman, or The Witcher, but it was decent.
Dead Boy Detectives is the story of Edwin Payne and Charles Rowland. Edwin was killed during a Satanic ritual in 1916. Charles died from hypothermia and internal bleeding after some bullies drove him into an ice-cold lake while throwing rocks at him.
(Note: That was not how Charles actually died in the source material. In the comics, Lucifer had quit and shut down Hell (the basis for the TV show Lucifer) so many evil souls returned to Earth, including the boys that sacrificed poor Edwin. They badly burnt Charles' back on a hot stove and Charles died from his injuries.)
The two ghosts decided to dedicate their afterlife solving mysteries to help other ghosts find peace. They are aided by psychic, Crystal Palace, who is haunted by her abusive ex-boyfriend who happens to be a demon.
Both Edwin Payne and Charles Rowland originated in Neil Gaiman's The Sandman: Season of Mists, The Sandman: Volume 4. Issue 25 of The Sandman comics, and within Act 2 of The Sandman audio drama.
The Dead Boy Detectives made their TV first appearance in Doom Patrol for HBO Max (now Max). During a shakeup at Max the show was moved over to Netflix as to better connect it with The Sandman since that is where they originated.
The show features different actors from the ones that played Charles and Edwin on Doom Patrol.
The Dead Boy Detectives is a decent show but ...it feels a bit like a CW teen drama. I had been told that some of the show's writers were originally writers for the CW... and it shows.
There are some deliberately surreal elements of the show that I think are a callback to their appearance in Doom Patrol.
I love the variety of supernatural entities in the show, including the appearance of two of Morpheus's siblings. Death and Despair. The things I don't like about the show can be considered CW tropes or cliches. The angsty romances and unrequited love. The ham-fisted abusive ex metaphor between Crystal and David The Demon.
And of course the most tedious of CW tropes, the end of the episode pining and angst while a sad pop song plays in the background.
If you look past the CW-ness of it, the show is enjoyable.
The only other things I can complain about is the "connecting thread" subplot of The Afterlife: Lost and Found feels like unnecessary filler. And I wish they would openly establish that Edwin, being an innocent, would NOT return to Hell if collected by Death now. I don't think that should be left hanging over his head. Especially since we're supposed to see Death as a kind entity. Also I think Charles says "Aces" a little too much. It's very distracting and makes me feel like the writers didn't know much late 80s English slang. It would be like if he was an American and they had him say "Radical" all the time. I get that it's kind of his catchphrase but it also got a bit annoying.
The parts I don't like are CW tropes and what I'd consider to be late 90s Vertigo edginess.
The thing I liked were plentiful though. The protagonists were and are likable. The ending is satisfying enough so that if there is only one season this was still good. I liked that it appears that one can ascend out of Hell after some self-reflection as is indicated by the boy Edwin confronted in Hell. The blue light was established to mean ascension, a good afterlife.
I also LOVE the opening credits theme music and animated sequence. It reminds me of the intro to Showtime's Creature Feature movies. (See the trailer for 2001's She Creature, not the 50s version. Watch the trailer at thirteen seconds in, on Youtube, and you'll see what I mean).
That's two Gothic themed shows from Netflix in the last two years with great opening credits sequences. The first being Wednesday. That one won Danny Elfman an Emmy.
It's funny, Wednesday and Dead Boy Detectives (which is a spin-off of The Sandman) have great opening credit intro sequences but The Sandman does not. Apparently Neil Gaiman was told people don't watch the opening credits anymore so The Sandman doesn't have them.
I feel we were cheated out of what could have been a great opening sequence for The Sandman.
Episodes 7 and 8 of Dead Boy Detectives were probably the best of the series. I liked it well enough that if Dead Boy Detectives gets renewed I'll happily watch season 2.
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animalic (6)
← chapter five // series masterlist
pairing: miguel o'hara x f!reader rating: mature word count: 4k summary: misery makes good company warnings: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, angst, i mean it guys, miguel o'hara is really not nice in this one, fighting, death/extinction, morally questionable characters, weapons of mass destruction, implied drug withdrawal, reader is given a backstory notes: apologies for what's to come. it's okay if you hate me after
“Don’t move. You’ll make it worse.”
There’s a warm hand cupping the back of your head, callused fingers spread to steady the junction between it and your shoulder. It’s the first thing you notice when you wake; that, and the breath fanning across your face.
You think it odd. Signs of life pound beneath you like the febrile concoction of a dream, burning hot in emphasis that you’d survived. A heavy pulse behind your brow, the headache pinching at every sense until they all dim to conductive static. Your tongue, pasty on the roof of your mouth. The hind of your arm itches, the urge running bone-deep, humming from flesh gracelessly torn apart by a gutter. When you shift to examine it, a fire roars up your neck, the smouldering pain robbing you of any effort.
(The only other time you’d been this uncomfortable, you were bitten by a spider the third month of your internship with Alchemax. The puncture site didn’t burn so much as the delirium that followed.)
“What did I just say?”
And, there’s that voice. You find it difficult to discern its more unique attributes, words muffled from behind the wavering pane of your lucidity – yet, even still, it stands as the most tangible thing present. Deep, resonant. Smoked with a ruggedness you can feel in your teeth. It doesn’t occur to you why it seems so unfamiliar; perhaps it’s the fact that you catch it through its source, your ear pressed to a muscled chest. Or, that’s it’s whispering.
You’ve never heard him whisper. Not to you.
The need to retaliate swells once you realise who holds you. It’s nothing productive, not the string of questions you should be asking – what’s happening, where are we; but it’s the only natural instinct that overcomes you. When you attempt to make good on it, though, the clutter of jokes, gripes, and snubs tangle in your throat, emerging as little more than a groan.
And the act wears you more than it probably should, exhausted tremors wracking your frame. A tender ache ripples from a point on your ribcage – separate from the area you’d fractured at the quarry. The pressure here is more centralised, a focused bruise you locate the source of with a wriggle of your elbow, when a rock comes loose and clatters to settle underneath you. It joins a mound of similar rubble, a pseudo-cushion of chalky cement broken off the larger slabs surrounding you.
You assume they do, at least – based on what you can tell of the terrain behind your back. In reality, you have no means to confirm your circumstances. The space around you swims in ink-blot darkness, the type that is almost material, where sheer absence of light could be considered an element of its own. You squeeze your eyes shut, then widen them, and find that there’s no difference between the two.
So – dark, dusty and… cramped. You’re positioned across Miguel’s lap, his legs running under and perpendicular to yours. Neither of you can stretch them to their full extent, however, forced to cross and bend in unwieldy ways, tangling further in each other's limbs. Your clothes are worn out enough to allow you to detect when any surface of his body – tense abdomen and thick thighs – twitches, thrumming with a molasses-slow tension that starts to diffuse through you.
Not a scenario of his own choosing, then.
But the turn of events that might’ve converged to this are lost on you, white noise fluffing the space they’d evacuated. Last you recall, you were staring down a cop car, the lingering comfort of a child’s trust filling you with a remarkable sort of purpose, that which you cannot place. Had you acted against that convict? Or left it up to the man cradling you?
As if on cue, he speaks.
“You’re trapped under a collapsed building.”
He says you like he’s not a confounding variable in this equation. You know it’s meant to single your blame in this, stranding it somewhere where you can brood without cross-examining him or why he’s here too. It nests on a well of guilt you keep suppressed for good reason, irking you in a particularly special way.
“Figured that out for myself, thanks.” Despite the trouble you put into getting the retort out undisturbed, it ends up sounding more unconvincing than not. Miguel waits for the coughing fit you have afterwards to subside before pitching in his acknowledgment.
“Did you, now?”
Little shit isn’t even trying to hide his sarcasm.
You ignore him, continuing with your scepticism. “I’m just wondering why we’re still here.”
Because it’s a genuine conjecture. While you’re not a part of the educated camp in spider-hero abilities – being so clueless to the extent of your own – you’re far too familiar with that infamous super strength. You’d sensed the difference for yourself; your increasing aptness in carrying hefty weights, the fluidity with which you cruise through life, physically unperturbed. And you’ve been on the receiving end of the spectrum too, your skin littered with scars that point to the sheer power of your companion.
A few tonnes of demolished concrete should be a walk in the park for him.
He clicks his tongue like it’s obvious. “I pulled under a steel arc in time for the debris not to crush us. If I disturb this pocket, or try to rearrange a tunnel, then I run the risk again.”
The logic makes sense, as much as you hate to admit it. Of course, that doesn’t stop you from picking at the contrivances in his language. It was you when discussing what went wrong, and now it’s I when it comes to the out. You realise it’s probably unintentional. Somehow, that makes it worse. He must truly believe you’re nothing beyond a malevolent fuck-up; some villain willing to sacrifice herself for the greater demise.
(The latter might have its validity. It’s the former you hold issue with.)
Likewise, you also ascertain an easy fix to all this – on account of your spectral properties. And, if you were a better woman, it would’ve been feasible. Phase out, crawl through until you breach the open, get help.
It’s long since been established that you’re not that person, though – and you’ve come to accept your own incompetence. You don’t mean to die here; you’re not sure if you want him too either, for all your ire. But your immateriality is a fickle thing, recurring at the most inopportune times, in the smallest increments – a potential problem for the doubtlessly long crawl it’d take to escape. You don’t want to imagine what would happen should you solidify within the walls.
Resignation seems easier than tempting it.
Miguel must recognise the option as well. As it stands for him, he can’t afford to let you go, nor is he desperate enough to trust you yet despite it. You don’t bring it up then, maintaining the upper-hand by his misunderstanding of your capacity.
(Maybe you are evil.
Or, just tired.)
“That’s okay. I think it would be funny if we passed like this.” You pitch, nudging your cheek to urge the smile clearly lacking in your tone. There’s no humour behind your choice of phrase, and it’s a jarring step back from where he’d been, expounding himself. You suppose it might be a clumsy distraction from the exact gravity of your predicament, yet even that rolls over in your brain, not quite satisfactory to dissolve as truth. “It’ll make a nice story for the people who dig us up.”
His chest puffs, filling with an irritated inhale. In the same movement, his fingers constrict onto your cranial base; it has the adverse effect of bracing your neck for the sudden shift, minimising the soreness triggered by any activity. You decide to take it as the warning it’s meant to be instead.
“Eres patética.” He murmurs, sinking back down. You wince when his clutch weakens, pain flaring. “And whiplashed.”
You purse your lips, critical. “I’ve had worse.”
“Sure.”
“My arm–”
“Will be fine.” As if to punctuate, he reaches for the wound. A clink sounds when he taps it. “Used the nanotech off my suit as a bandage.”
You should have caught that it doesn’t sting like it would’ve if exposed. Similarly, his hands are gloveless. Bare – while the rest of him isn’t. You’d felt the dry surface of his palm, the fixed warmth it emanated, but for some oversight, you hadn’t considered that he was touching you. Skin-to-skin, the simple size of his fists dwarfing you in every measure.
A stone lodges in your throat.
“Did– How’d you know?” You pry, referencing the perpetual tenebrosity you’re suspended in.
What he replies with shouldn't shock you, not as much as it does. But the air’s shifted to a nuanced degree, a hesitation substituting loud anger. It's the awareness that he's just as tuned in to you as you are him, sympathetic to try and redirect you off the brink of death. Or, more likely, it’s the poignant impression of his fangs, wedged in your flesh, his tongue lapping up the very same path.
(And the wanton moan it’d triggered.)
“I could smell the blood.”
Oh.
Truthfully, you’ve no clue whether you respond aloud or keep your contemplation close to your psyche. He admits it almost… awkwardly, like it’s a condition he’s not so fond of himself. Yet it’s one that reverberates in the strained silence, plucking at taut strings that stretch with every passing second. You play it on repeat, stewing over the way in which he spoke; the diction, the stressors, the slight roll of his accent.
I could smell it. I could smell you. The blood.
Your life on the run hardly ever allows for moments like these. Over the past year, stress has anchored itself by the dock of your being, streamlining a flow of cortisol to every major organ. Continuity hinges on an alertness to the forces propelling you, and while the occasional wisecrack can alleviate some effects it has on your health, you don’t have the luxury of sinking into whatever fear bolsters it all.
It’s with him, though – hanging from a crane, or cornered in a pen of his own design. Only ever with him are you slapped with the resounding, festering distress of your own weakness. It consumes you, gnawing on your gut with its brutal teeth, tearing away the indifference you’d built around your systems. How dissimilar the two of you are; a girl unwilling to fight for even herself, and a man capable of wrapping a slash in the dark.
(He could smell it. And he can probably see, too.
By just how much does he outmatch you?)
“You’re welcome.” Miguel growls. You scold yourself for your elongated reticence, the pace of your heart overtaking the anxious torrent of thoughts that pump through you. It’s good practice to thank the man who’d saved your life four times over. Be that as it may, does it really count if he’s the reason it was necessary to begin with? He’d dropped you off that crane, he’d swung you a hundred feet high. Him, him, him.
You curl your tongue, desperate to quell the barrage of resentment that escalates at his prodding. Despite it pulling you from your rapid dissociation, your fight-or-flight peaks, forcing you to face a confrontation you don’t need. There’s nowhere to run – presently, you’re moored into place, his physicality and unique provocation blocking the possibility all together.
You scoff to placate the spiralling desire to argue.
It doesn’t work.
“For what?” You hiss.
All too quickly, his legs spread, creating a trough for you to slide down into. When your ass hits the unforgiving floor, you involuntarily cringe at the contrast it poses to his leg. A calculated effect, you’re sure – so too is the newfound freedom of his grip releasing your head, the crossing of his forearms pushing you away from the post his pecs provided.
It’s what you wanted, to distance yourself from his overbearing stature. And he manipulates it to his own favour; you’re made to bear your burden, the agony of your injured state tripling as if to exclaim: ‘see?’
Touché.
Nevertheless, it palliates your memory. The chill of the earth under you spikes your nerves, clearing the brume overcasting your day previous. You’d driven a car into that symbiote based on a groundless hypothesis; bold, any scientist would tell you. Yet, as far as your perception extends, it worked.
“Selfish.” He announces, far from discrete. It’s so unlike him that it smites the ego beginning to coagulate at your remembered success.
Your eyes snap to where you assume his face is, squinting like your glare makes any difference. “Excuse me?”
Undeterred by the threat inherent in your tone – that which is all talk – he persists. “Who do you think you are exactly, Wraith?”
The interrogation holds a dangerous quality; again, it feels out of place, a spirit tugging at the strings of his hollow self.
“Don’t call me that.”
“Why? What would you prefer? Anomaly, banshee? You drag death behind you like it’s a curse, only you’ve opted into it. I told you it wasn’t our place to interfere, and you had to push it–”
He can be jaded, or subtle. Oftentimes, he’s dismissive and passively rude.
But Miguel O’Hara is never heedlessly hostile. Not like this.
“That wasn’t my fault, asshole. I fucking glitched!”
“¡Órale, estás bien pendeja! Nothing ever is, of course! Has it never occurred to you to take a good look in the mirror?”
The irregularity scares you. Your voice breaks with it.
“O’Hara–”
“Because I’ll tell you what I see; a girl who can’t face what she’s done.”
“You don’t know me.” You shake your head, tamping the stiffness in your shoulder. It does nothing to exercise the sharp unease that flays you alive.
“A self-serving criminal who refuses to listen.”
“I d– I tried.” Hiccupping, the edge worsens.
“You’d have gone back home–”
“There’s nothing left for me there!”
“Like there is anywhere else? You’ve devastated them!”
“Stop it–”
“Wrecked entire worlds! I’ve been the only one holding it all together,” He yells, pushing his knees closer to one another. You’re slowly crushed in the process, thighs drawing up to press against your torso. “You’re no victim. You’re no hero.”
“Stop it!”
“Tell me I’m wrong!”
Feverish tears slice down your cheeks, spouting to escape the pressure that balloons within you. Your lungs tighten alongside it, heart aching. It’s progressed past the point of prevention – no longer do you retain control of how this turns out. All you can do is drift; a feather, seized in this tempest, stirred by a disembodied man.
When you don’t respond, preferring to preserve your energy for the sobs that rip from you, he inches closer. You sense it when he repeats himself, his hot breath lining the shell of your ear.
“Well,” His claws sharpen, grazing the small of your back. “Am I?”
His lisp is more pronounced like this, fangs extended to affect the natural position of his mouth. It warps the undertone, like a pool does light, and sends it back more viscous than ever. He’s uninhibited – an addict missing his fix.
It’s almost impossible to choke the admission out against the hatred churning your stomach. When you unhinge your jaw, it’s a credible wager that you retch all over yourself instead.
“No.” You manage to warble, a mixture of snot and wet misery streaking down your chin. Your wrists stay plastered, allowing the mess to mask your countenance, tucking between your legs in a childlike attempt at comfort. Cruelty crackles – self-propagated now – assaulting your faux-confidence until it plummets to a fraction of what it was.
Cursed. A wraith – haunting the multiverse with her unfinished business.
There’s nothing left to declare as his impressions are confirmed. You both mark it, this changed, spoken into existence by your divulgence. By some miracle, if you were to slip his capture, it’d be no more of a victory than the gore crusting your fingernails. Proof for his belittlement; that you truly are so inconsiderate as to further endanger the lives of millions.
(Would you be able to live with yourself?)
You relapse, agonising over the past week. Not a victim – you’d taken advantage of him with a kiss for an unsure opportunity. Not a hero – you’d punched a robber and gotten a civilian killed in the process. You’d run over a murderer and buried several under an early grave.
(Can you live with yourself?)
And home–
Trapped, you boil in a pond of your transgressions. It’d been a long time coming – your fault, in fact. You should’ve noticed the water was gradually heating.
There’d been a dam of careful construction at this bank, stacked tirelessly over the several nights you’d been given to think on what you’ve done. To prevent your clear culpability from catching up to you, to blind others to it too. He’s right, but not about all things. You’ve memorised your reflection at this point. Put it in a line up, and you’ll point your place in hell with facile certainty.
So, there’s no need to admit anything else. Regardless, his sabotage compels you to. Here, loitering purgatory with the one person who’d never understand; what harm could confession do? His opinion of you skims rock bottom, and you’ve no hope at seeing a priest before you rot.
Forgive me, for I have sinned.
“I’m not innocent.” You start. “Never have been.”
Alpha Centauri, that was the goal.
Located only four light years away, it’s the closest star system to Earth; with suns Rigil Kentaurus, Toliman and Proxima Centauri forming a trinary network. All main sequence stars – like humanity’s very own Sol – orbited by suspected habitable exoplanets. With the average chemical rocket, it’d take upwards of six thousand years to get there.
There lay alternatives, of course. Nuclear fission, with an energy yield of almost zero from its original mass. Fusion, ten times as efficient – still, not nearly enough. Ion accelerators, sunlight capture. Interstellar arks were of no interest; no, you’d wanted to achieve extrasolar travel within your lifetime. Warp drives and hyperspace – all theoretical.
As an undergrad, you’d settled on matter-antimatter collision.
The latter, antimatter, exists as an inverted twin to ordinary subatomic particles, with flipped states on every front. Antiprotons – negative protons with oppositely directed magnetism, and positrons – positively charged electrons. When the two meet their counterparts, their entire mass is converted into energy. And, when such annihilation is modelled within engines, a ship can accelerate to ninety percent the speed of light.
Therein subsisted your only chance to touch the stars.
Of course, like all hypotheticals, it came with its own array of issues. No natural reservoir of the substance is known, and producing at least one tonne would take more power than mankind has used in all its history. Moreover, it’s near nonviable to store. Any container that has ever touched regular matter would only cause preemptive decimation.
You wrote papers and studied computer-generated prototypes. You argued with professors, and attended pro-conferences. Months worth of minimum wage were blown on trips to Argentina, where the neighbouring system can be spotted through a telescope, winking above the horizon. When it all started to appear fruitless, you caught wind of Alchemex’s exploits within the field.
It was a young company, hobbling on its feet after a rocky merger with Oscorp. But they were daring, and rich, endeavouring into categories that most deemed nonprofit. You’d applied for an internship, waited months to hear back. By some cosmic karma, it turned out to be good news when you eventually did.
They were already working on manufacturing the antimatter. It was your suggestion that encouraged them to use magnets to store it within a vacuum.
It looked auspicious. It had been.
Then, you were bit.
The spider was from another division – radiation, you suppose. By some breach on account of a more negligent temp, the critter had found its way into your improvised cubicle. And so the story goes; it’d champed down on the webbing between your thumb and forefinger, before promptly suffocating under the cup you’d snared it in. The area stung for a while, venom having directly found your veins. Yet, by the time you’d returned to your dorm, your immunity seemed to have diluted its effects.
Until, you’d gotten sick. The hysteria was slow to consolidate, starting as a sore throat. You’d used your one day off then, ignorant to just how bad it could get; because the fever only deepened, lesions on the lining of your oesophagus oozing ichor into bile. Your doctor waived the possibility of tuberculosis, mistrusting the notes your instructors sent with you, complaining of in-class fainting bouts.
You couldn’t miss work, though. Never. Not when you were so close.
So you stuffed sheets of pills in your pockets and braved each shift with trembling joints. You’d no friends to notice your suffering, and for such an ambitious company, overtime was expected. Sweating through multiple layers of clothing, you kept an eye on your poster of the galaxy and lagged on those long nights. At the rate you were going, you genuinely dreaded a life cut short before you could realise your objective.
If nothing else, it urged you to work harder.
Your first milestone came at the one kilogram mark. A party was hosted to celebrate, billionaires invited to gather around the vessel which held such a revolutionary feat. Despite your interloper status, you’d been summoned too, to play big girl scientist and present Alchemex’s future course of action. Your affliction was improving, and you were the inspiration behind the project’s advance. It felt like the biggest night of your career.
(‘Magnets! What a genius solution.’ From a nobel prize runner up.
‘That ambition will get you far, mark my words.’ The CEO’s cousin.)
In truth, it was the last.
Because the antimatter had taken centre stage, security slackening with its continued stability. So long as the magnetism wasn’t tampered with, so long as the vacuumed vessel remained airtight, things looked to be fine for your speech. You’d cycled through every known variable, staring down the container, a champagne flute tucked in your sweaty palms.
Your skin prickled.
The glass smashed to the floor. In your embarrassment, you’d brushed it off as clumsiness prompted by the perspiration – notwithstanding your recount, having seen the drink fall through your mass. Did it matter, though? You couldn’t put it past your illness to cause such hallucinations. It was impossible, a trick of sight.
The festivities progressed, yet the tingle of your nerves didn’t subside. Anxiety – you chalked it up to common apprehension. So, when your boss announced your name for all to hear, and the agitation flared, it wasn’t alarming. You could think of nothing else anyway, honed in to the address you’d practised all morning.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Your gut flipped. Your vision blackened.
The steps lost depth; you stumbled up them with all the grace of a hunted fawn.
Today–
Your skin prickled once more, and you collapsed. Through the antimatter’s vessel, through the floor.
There’s nothing to recall after that. Not for a long while.
“I don’t become intangible.” Your brow bone rests on the curve of your knee, body curled in a foetal position. “My particles merely… find the best way through something.”
Miguel has remained eerily quiet throughout your chronicle. You try not to let it dissuade you.
“So–”
“Some came in contact with the antimatter.”
“Yeah.” You murmur, moved by an unnamed emotion. “It detonated, naturally, with a force roughly equivalent to a nuclear bomb. Wiped out everyone in the city upon discharge, then everyone in the state with its impact. Or– maybe, I don’t know. I was discarnate for weeks – the explosion had no effect on my immaterial self, and the radiation couldn’t hurt me when that spider damn well sought and failed at it already.”
You hug yourself tighter.
“I only witnessed the winter that followed. The blast was large-scale enough to trigger firestorms and a global climate cooling – similar to the one they scare you with when talking about nuclear warfare. Crop failure, famine. Millions died and my home devolved into cataclysm. It was mass extinction,” You school yourself, waving the snivel crawling up your nose. “Because of me.”
An end by starvation or infection, confined to this tomb, seems a perfectly fitting penance.
“Explain this to me, O’Hara – what just providence made me spider-woman to a barren land?”
chapter seven →
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Accidents Happen — h.hyunjin, l.felix
» stray kids masterlist «
➮ witch!Felix × f!Reader × incubus!Hyunjin wc: 10.5k summary: While studying for a witches exam, Felix leaves his materials out where his girlfriend, Y/N, happens upon them. When she reads an incantation, an incubus is accidentally summoned. Deciding to make a spectacle of it, the demon forces Felix to watch as he seduces his girlfriend. genres/themes/au: angst, smut; supernatural, witchcraft, and demonic themes, establish relationship (Felix), s2l (Hyunjin); non idol au, witch au, demon au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, Felix practices witchcraft, alcohol consumption (Y/N has a glass of wine), Hyunjin is a menace and restrains Felix with his powers, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! special taglist: @yoonguurt , @anyamaris , @wooyoungqueen , @kpop-stories-21 , @xsweetelegantdiasterx , @kookthief , @stardragongalaxy , @millennial-fangirl , @blankdyean , @imwithurmother , @bangchans-angel , @oreoqueen , @yjeonginlvr , @zdgx1 , @shuxsoo , @s00buwu , @queenmea604 , @pochaccomin , @katsukis1wife , @linos-catnip Join the taglist! »» Closes 10/30 @ 23:00 CST! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL NOT BE ADDED.
a/n: this one is kinda dark, not gonna lie so read with caution. This isn't a joke lol this is also kind of self indulgent cause I can. I used Google Translate again for the spell, so it might not be super accurate but I'm not really going for accuracy here lol it's smut. Thank you so much for reading, if you like this pls reblog or comment! As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.
smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), unprotected sex (demons don’t care lol but you should), somnophilia, auralism, mind break, cuckold, use of pet names (Felix calls her angel, baby, but Hyunjin calls her slut, whore, etc), Hyunjin is a menace and Felix is a sobbing mess. Let me know if I missed anything!
dialogue prompt: ❛ I’m going to have you screaming by the end of the night ❜ & ❛ do you really think you’re in a position to be giving orders? ❜
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Witches. Beings that have existed all throughout history and have instilled fear in communities for centuries. Practitioners of dark magic. Beings that worship the devil and sell their souls in exchange for mystical powers. This was how witches were always perceived.
Only it was entirely wrong.
Felix had heard a plethora of names thrown at him all his life. “Witch! Devil-worshiper! Heretic!” The words had been shouted at him from various sources but he knew deep down they were only scared because they didn’t understand.
He was misunderstood, his practices were misunderstood, and magick was misunderstood.
Felix didn’t stand around a cauldron, stirring in weird ingredients like eyes of newts or tiger claws or whatever other things fiction thought sounded bizarre and outlandish. Felix didn’t even own a cauldron. He wasn’t that kind of witch. He focused more on summoning and conjuring. That was his school.
But even the conjuration school of magick had special items he needed in order to do his spells. For that he had to visit Arcana Infinitum. The shop was located in the back corner of the town square, nestled between the ice cream shop and a beautiful and old antique store named Pandora’s Box.
Ignoring the weird looks he got from mothers as they pulled their children along and hurried across the street to avoid him, Felix continued on, the heels of his boots echoing on the stone sidewalk as he walked down past Marino’s and turned the corner.
Arcana Infinitum was a sight for sore eyes after all the glares and stares as Felix had walked from his home he shared with his girlfriend to the town square. He tried to not let it get to him but to see so much hate and disdain in one place made him wonder if moving here to this small town was worth it at all.
Not that he’d ever bring this up with you, his girlfriend.
He crossed the cobbled street and reached the door to the shop and opened it, stepping inside and finding solace in the warm interior. It wasn’t entirely freezing outside but the light mist really made the chilly air bite at his skin, his cheeks and the tip of his nose a bright pink.
“Welcome to-- oh it’s you, Felix!” a voice said and the blond looked up to see one of his favorite shopkeepers smiling at him from the back of the shop. “Hey, Joong,” Felix said as he moved further into the shop, meeting Hongjoong halfway. “What brings you in today?” Hongjoong asked, reaching up to brush some of his bright blue hair out of his eyes.
He wore a simple white button down shirt with bell sleeves cinched at the wrist and black slacks. Over this he wore a simple off white apron. “I’m studying for my exam,” Felix explained, reaching into the small crossbody he carried and pulling out a folded piece of paper. “It’s for my conjuration exam,” he continued, unfolding the sheet and handing it to Hongjoong. “I need these items.”
Felix watched Hongjoong read over the list, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as the older man muttered to himself. “I should have all of this,” Hongjoong finally said. “Look around while I gather your materials.” Felix thanked him as Hongjoong moved to grab a small wire basket and started walking around the shop while he walked over to look at a display of postcards.
Most of them were for the town and all of them were hand drawn. “Who drew these?” Felix called as he looked over the cards. “Oh, that would be Yunho and San,” Hongjoong replied as he moved behind the wooden counter and started searching through the shelves on the back wall.
Felix continued to look around. He had reached a bookcase with old tomes and spellbooks. He ran his fingers over the spines of the books, reading the titles until one caught his eye. A dark purple hardback with gold lettering in Hangul. He grabbed the tome and pulled it from its place. It was heavy as Felix looked over the cover.
“When did this come in?” Felix asked, holding it up to show Hongjoong the cover. “Oh a few days ago!” Hongjoong said as he set the wire basket on the counter and started to add everything up. Felix walked over with the purple book in his hands. “Is it for sale?” he asked softly as he reached the counter.
Hongjoong looked up and smiled before returning to his task. “Does a bear shit in the woods?” he retorted, adding everything up on the calculator before putting in Felix’s discount. “Add this on to my order,” Felix said, setting the book on the counter as Hongjoong started to bag everything.
He picked up the book and put it in the bag and told Felix his total as the latter pulled out his wallet. “Even with the book?” Felix asked. Hongjoong shook his head. “Book is on the house. Think of it as a little slice of home.”
Felix pulled out a few notes and handed them to Hongjoong who promptly entered the amount into the register and put the money away, grabbing Felix’s change. “Tell Y/N I said hey,” Hongjoong said as Felix put his money away and picked up his bag. “I will,” he said with a smile.
Exiting the shop, Felix shifted the bag in his arms as his phone started to ring. He pulled it from his pocket and smiled as he answered it. “Hey babe,” he said softly. “Hey,” came your voice. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t his favorite sound in the world.
“Are you home?” you asked.
“No,” Felix said as he started to walk across the street. “I ran by the shop to get some things for my exam,” he explained. “Hongjoong said to say hi by the way,” he added. You chuckled on the other side. “Of course he did. I’ll say hi next time I see him. Are you heading home now then?” you asked.
Felix could hear voices on your end of the line. “Yeah, hey, what’s that whispering?” he asked as he continued down the sidewalk, offering quiet pardons as he squeezed between other townspeople.
“Oh those are my coworkers and trust me,” you said. “They’re not whispering.” Felix heard a few soft apologies and snorted. “How’s work?” he asked and you sighed. “It’s alright. I wish I was home instead.” Felix laughed as he glanced up and down the street before hurrying across. “Don’t we all.”
You clicked your tongue in feigned annoyance. “You’re one to talk,” you replied. “I have a job!” Felix replied, sounding mildly scandalized. “I just don’t work in an office with a view of the city,” he added. You chuckled and no doubt shook your head. “When are you coming home?” Felix asked as he walked down the street towards your shared home.
“Soon,” you replied. “Cleo has told us she has an end of the day meeting we’re supposed to attend so we’re all in here waiting for that to start. It might run over if she’s any later. So I was wondering if you’d be able to swing by the grocery store and grab the things on the list?”
Felix stopped in his tracks at the bottom of the steps leading up into the house. “I just got home,” he murmured. “I can drop this off and go back,” he added as he started up the steps, sandwiching his phone between his ear and his shoulder and digging for his keys.
“No, it’s okay,” you replied. “I know you’ve got a lot of studying to do. I’ll just stop by on my way home. Dinner will just be a little late tonight,” you replied as Felix unlocked the doors and let himself in. He shut the door before Fanta, his orange familiar cat, couldn’t escape.
“Are you sure?” Felix asked as he walked past the living room and into the kitchen. “Mhm,” you answered. “Cleo’s just entered the room so hopefully this meeting can start and I’ll be out of here sooner than expected. Gotta go,” you whispered. “Okay, I love you,” Felix said quickly. “I love you, too!”
Felix smiled as he hung up the phone and turned to open a cabinet, grabbing one of the glasses and moving to the fridge to get some ice and water. Fanta jumped up onto the counter, letting out a croaky meow as Felix turned to look over his shoulder. “What have I said about jumping onto the counter, Fanta?” The animal let out a small meow before moving and hopping down.
Felix rolled his eyes, sipping on his water and scrolling through his feed. “The world is a crazy place,” Felix started as Fanta walked over to the back door and meowed, pawing at the wood. “You live in a nice warm house. You’re safe here. Why would you want to go outside where you could be killed?” Felix asked, walking over and picking up the cat.
Fanta meowed as Felix cuddled him close. “Oh, you’re so dramatic,” Felix muttered as Fanta struggled to get free before Felix let him hop down. “Fine. I try to show you love and you don’t appreciate it. I’m going to study.”
Felix set his empty glass in the sink and grabbed his purchase from Arcana Infinitum before heading upstairs. He set the bag on his desk and then headed into your shared bedroom and sat on the foot of the bed, reaching down to untie his boots. Had he been home, his mother would have hit him over the head for wearing his shoes all over the house but you didn’t seem to mind.
Once his boots were removed, he started changing into more comfortable clothes, tossing his black jeans and shirt into the hamper and pulling on some gray sweats and an oversized white tee.
Once he was comfortable, Felix returned to his study where he started to unpack the items he’d bought, setting them aside as he did so. He pulled out the purple Korean book of spells and opened it, eyes scanning the pages written entirely in Hangul.
Maybe he’d do a little light reading before studying. He’d gotten the book for free after all. Felix set the book on the chaotic and messy surface of his desk, turning the page, and started reading.
When you arrived home after stopping by the grocery store, it was much later than you liked. The meeting thankfully hadn’t gone on for very long and the bus to your small town on the outskirts of the city didn’t eat too much time either. It was when you arrived at the grocery store to pick up a few things that things went wrong.
As usual, one of the elderly ladies in the town had to stop you and lecture you about the uses of witchcraft and making deals with the devil. You had to explain for what felt like the millionth time that you weren’t the one practicing magick nor were you in the habit of speaking about your boyfriend like that. You reminded them that magick wasn’t harmful. It wasn’t like what the movies portray it as.
One lady in particular had held you up as you tried to check out until you told her to bugger off out of frustration, grabbing your bags and quickly leaving the store with your purchases. The walk back to the house wasn’t long either but it was still late as you let yourself in with your key, careful to make sure Fanta didn’t try another daring escape out the door.
You carried the bags over to the kitchen and started putting the cold items away. You’d picked up another tub of ice cream knowing you’d need some after the week you’d had. Once you had put most of the groceries away, you were working in the pantry when you heard a creak of wood above you.
“Felix?” you called, stopping your movements. When he didn’t respond, you decided to go upstairs and check on him. Climbing the steps one at a time you made your way up and at the landing, turned around the bannister and approached the door to his study.
You knocked softly but when there was no answer, you turned the knob and pushed the door open, peering in to find your boyfriend fast asleep, his head resting on his arms.
You smiled as you pushed the door open fully and stepped into the room. Reaching down, you brushed some of his blond hair back and then your eyes landed on a small strip of paper lying on the book he had open on the desk.
You picked it up and scanned the words curiously. It was in Korean, that much you could tell. Felix had taught you the Korean alphabet and how to pronounce the letters and he had taught you a couple words so you could at least read some things. You recognized one word on the paper but regardless you read the sentence aloud.
“Gajang gip-eun jiog-eseo neoleul bulleonae gyeolsogsikyeo jugessda.”
You shrugged your shoulders and set the paper back down before turning to head back to the door until something caught your eye.The flame of a candle, dancing inside the glass. Stopping in your tracks, you turned back to face his desk and shook your head as you moved to the lit candle on the desk, leaning in to blow out the flame.
“I don’t know how many times I’ve told you not to light candles if you’re going to fall asleep,” you murmured, gently stroking your boyfriend’s hair before exiting the room, closing the door with a click and returning to the kitchen downstairs to start dinner.
It had been a while since you’d made a nice home cooked meal, the two of you had been ordering out lately and you decided to do something nice not only for your hard working boyfriend but for yourself.
You seasoned and prepared the chicken, letting it marinate for thirty minutes as you prepared the vegetables and started your sauce in a pan. Once the skillet was oiled and heated, you added the chicken and let it sizzle for a bit before stirring it and added the veggies.
As you worked, you murmured the phrase you’d read earlier, turning it into a little song as music played in your head. You turned the chicken over again and finally poured the sauce in while some noodles boiled. “Okay, I need actual music now,” you said to yourself pulling your phone from your purse and turning some Mikazuki BIGWAVE on.
Felix awoke with a start, eyes snapping open as he looked around. He sat up, a loose page from his notes sticking to his cheek. He grabbed it and set it back on the desk before looking around.
The door to the study was cracked open and he could smell something wafting through the air towards him. He looked down at his desk, the purple book lying innocently and looking back at him. Something was different. He noticed a small piece of parchment with Korean written on it.
He picked it up and read the sentence quietly. He didn’t like the words on it and shook his head, tucking the piece of paper away in the back pages of the book before marking his place and shutting the book. He could resume reading it later. He picked up the tome and set it on one of the shelves before getting up and stretching.
He pulled open the door, the smell of dinner getting stronger as he made his way out of the study and down the stairs. “Y/N?” Felix called. “In here!” He followed the sound of your voice and cooking into the kitchen where you looked up and smiled at him. He walked over, planting a kiss on your cheek, his hand coming to rest on the small of your back.
“It smells really good, babe,” he murmured, resting his chin on your shoulder. “It should be ready soon,” you said softly, giggling as he moved to stand behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Mmm, you smell good, too,” he added, pressing a couple soft kisses to the base of your neck. “I’m not for dinner,” you replied. “Hmm, maybe for dessert?” he whispered, sending a chill up your spine.
“Dinner first,” you retorted. “No,” he whined, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Yes,” you said with a laugh. “Dinner first,” you set the spatula down and turned in his hold to face him, bringing your hands up to cup his face. “Then you can help me clean up and get your dessert after,” you added, pressing a kiss to his lips. Felix chased your lips as you pulled back.
“Fine,” he pouted as you turned back to finish dinner, adding the cooked pasta and giving everything a good mix as Felix moved to grab bowls from the cabinet. “There’s garlic bread, too,” you announced as he set the bowls on the counter and then grabbed two plates.
“What is it?” he asked as he moved to stand beside you. “Just a chicken recipe I found on Pinterest,” you replied struggling. “It’s got zucchini, red peppers, a white sauce and then chicken,” you explained as you turned the range off and started to scoop some pasta and chicken up to place in the bowls Felix held.
“Next bowl,” you said as you waited for Felix but he leaned in. “Pay the tax first,” he said, holding back a laugh. You rolled your eyes, kissing him before he moved the other bowl over.
Once the food had been served and you both had glasses of wine, you sat down and started eating. “This is so fucking good,” Felix said, covering his mouth with his hand. “You like it?” you asked, smiling at him. “Yes! I love it,” he replied, taking another bite.
“Good,” you chirped, taking a bite as well. “Neomu masisseo!” you heard your boyfriend say and you smiled.
Felix was placing another forkful of pasta into his mouth when he heard you mutter something under your breath.
"Neoleul bulleonae gyeolsogsikyeo jugessda."
He froze in place and slowly turned to face you. You had picked up some noodles and placed them in your mouth, glancing up and smiling at him. He couldn't be sure if he heard you properly.
"What did you say?" he asked softly, making you glance up at him. "Hmm?" you asked quietly. "What did you just say?" Felix asked again. "Neoleul bulleonae gyeolsogsikyeo jugessda," you repeated.
Felix's eyes widened, leaning forward as you continued to recite the evocation he'd seen earlier. "Gajang gip-eun jiog-eseo--"
Felix clamped his hand over your mouth. He shook his head. "Don't," he continued. "Don't finish that."
Your eyes widened comically and you nodded as Felix finally let go and sat back in his chair. “Where did you even learn that?” he asked, watching as a look of confusion crossed your face. “From a paper in your study,” you replied. Felix mentally cursed himself for leaving things out.
He would just have to perform a spell of protection before bed.
“It’s just gibberish, right?” you asked, innocently. Felix forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah,” he said softly.
“Just gibberish.”
After dinner, Felix helped you clean up, washing the dishes and handing them for you to rinse and set aside to dry. His mind was reeling with thoughts of what you might have summoned. He knew that piece of paper was a summoning spell. ‘From the depths of hell,’ he thought to himself. ‘It couldn’t have taken,’ he continued. ‘She only recited the evocation. She didn’t do the entire ritual.’
Once the kitchen was cleaned, you set your gloves on the edge of the sink to let them dry and turned to Felix, smiling at him. “Well,” you started, drawing his attention as he pulled his own gloves off. “You helped me clean up,” you continued. Felix nodded, looking around. “I always do,” he replied.
You raised an eyebrow at his reply. “Don’t you want your dessert now?” you asked, reaching forward to grab one of his hands. Felix’s eyes widened. Of course, how could he have forgotten?
“How about a movie first?” Felix offered. He wasn’t quite in the mood now but with some coaxing, he knew his mood could change quickly. You rolled your eyes and leaned forward, connecting your lips with his. “Fine,” you murmured against his smile. “A movie first, then dessert.”
You pulled him from the kitchen, leading the way into the living room and over to the couch. Felix sat down, grabbing the remote and turned the tv on as you settled in next to him. He flipped through the options, settling on one and starting the film quickly.
It only took a few minutes of your fingers playing with his hair for him to pull you onto his lap, hands on your hips as you grinded on him, moaning into each other’s mouths. “Fuck,” Felix groaned, hand resting on the back of your neck. “You’re so fucking hot,” he moaned as your hips moved, grinding against his erection.
“I need you, Lix,” you whined, hands resting on his shoulders. “You need me, yeah?” he asked, looking up at you through heavy lids. You nodded quickly, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. “Fuck, I better give you what you need then, hadn’t I?”
You scrambled off his lap, taking his hand and pulling your boyfriend up the stairs, heading for the bedroom where you shut the door after him. Felix was on you as soon as the door shut, hands grabbing your hips and guiding you to the bed before he pushed you back onto the mattress, discarding his shirt and climbing on top of you.
“You’ve been locked away in your study so many nights,” you whispered as Felix kissed a path down the side of your neck. “Have I been neglecting you, baby?” he mumbled against your skin.
You nodded, breathing heavily as you felt his hands move to undo your pants. “I’m sorry, angel,” he continued as he started to pull your pants and underwear down, discarding them on the floor before pushing your thighs apart, settling between them on his stomach.
Your walls clenched around nothing as he eyed your glistening sex hungrily, licking his lips before meeting your gaze, his eyes boring into yours.
“Let me make it up to you.”
Felix awoke with a start, sitting up and gasping as he looked around the dark room. Light pattering against the window told Felix that it was raining. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he pulled himself from the tangle of sheets, glancing back at you sleeping peacefully beside him.
Glancing at the clock, the red numbers read three thirty-three. ‘The Witching Hour,’ Felix thought as he slowly got up from the bed, careful to not disturb you. He walked towards the bedroom door, turning the knob slowly and pulling the door open.
The hall outside was dark, the pattering of rain was louder as Felix cautiously stepped out into the corridor, the wood creaking under his bare feet. He stopped just outside the opened bedroom door and looked around, the small plug-in lights creating a line of lights along the corridor floor.
As he started forward towards the stairs, Felix turned his head towards the study. The door was shut firmly as he had left it earlier. He headed down the stairs, looking over the railing into the living room. Upon reaching the landing, he turned and walked into the living room, glancing around.
His eyes strained, trying to see in the low light. He saw nothing out of the ordinary and let out a sigh, now truly wondering what woke him up. He started for the kitchen with the idea of getting a glass of water when he heard a soft creaking to his left. He turned his head quickly, finding the small door under the stairs ajar.
Felix moved to one of the end tables between the sofa and the loveseat, turning on the lamp and adding some illumination to the room. He continued forward slowly, keeping his eye on the door until he reached it. Taking the knob quietly, he pulled the door open and reached inside, pulling the string for the overhead light.
Inside the tiny storage space, nothing was out of the ordinary. Everything seemed to be in place. Perhaps you had gone into this space earlier and didn’t get the door shut completely. Felix tugged the string, throwing the space into darkness before backing up and closing the door, making sure the latch clicked.
He turned and headed into the kitchen, moving to grab a clean glass and get some ice water. As he was sipping on the water, he heard what sounded like knocking and looked up before moving around the counter and into the living room again. He strained his ears, listening for any sound over the soft pattering of rain on the roof.
He walked over to the door and peered out one of the windows on the side of the frame. He saw nothing and turned on the porch light, still seeing nothing. Shrugging, Felix turned the light off and headed into the kitchen to set his empty glass in the sink before making his way to the stairs.
Just as he was about to take the first step, a series of slow, heavy, and evenly paced knocks rang out from behind him. He froze and turned around to look at the door, his pulse starting to beat more heavily. He moved slowly, walking back to the window and peering out. Through the glass he could see a dark shadow standing on the porch.
He pulled back and stared at the door. ‘Who could it be this late?’ he wondered. Deciding to take another peek, his eyes widened when he saw the figure was gone. ‘I really shouldn’t open the door,’ he told himself. ‘But as long as I keep the outside door shut and locked it should be fine, right?’
He took a deep breath, taking the door knob in one hand as he turned the deadbolt, unlocking it with a click before he turned the knob and pulled open the heavy wooden door. The outside door was locked still as it was when he locked up the house for the night.
Outside the porch was empty, just like it had been the last time he peered outside through the window. Felix leaned against the door, looking to the sides of the porch the best he could before he let out the breath he was holding. ‘There’s no one here,’ he told himself. “You’re seeing things,” he whispered, taking a step back and closing the door and engaging the lock.
He shook his head, chuckling to himself before starting up the stairs. As he reached the top landing, his smile fell as his eyes landed on the door to his study. The door that he knew had been closed when he went downstairs not twenty minutes ago was now ajar.
Felix glanced towards the bedroom and then back to his study as his feet slowly and quietly carried him forward. He reached the study and carefully pushed the door open, looking inside. The lamp on his desk was on but other than that, nothing seemed to be out of place.
Felix let out an exasperated sigh and stepped into the room and turned off the lamp, throwing the room into darkness. He glanced out the window, doing a double take when he noticed a dark figure standing in the backyard. He rushed to the window but the figure was gone. ‘What is going on with you?’
Felix shook his head and pulled the sheer curtains shut. As he turned back for the door, his breath caught in his throat. He could see a dark figure standing in the corner. His heart rate increased, a cold chill breaking throughout his body and a shiver running up his spine at the sight.
A dark heavy feeling settled in his stomach as his mouth started to run dry. ‘Just ignore it,’ he told himself. ‘It will go away if you ignore it.’ He focused his eyes on the door and started towards it, pretending as if he hadn’t seen the figure. Just as he reached the door, his body betrayed him and his head turned slightly to look at the dark figure which was now next to the door and next to him.
Felix’s lips parted but before he could call out for you, he felt a hand around his neck as the figure grabbed him, lifting him clean off his feet and slamming him against the wall quickly. Felix clawed at the hand around his throat as the figure leaned in, sniffing him before he heard a deep, almost demonic voice say “it’s not you.”
It let go of his neck and Felix fell to his feet, coughing as he reached up to massage his neck. The dark shadow pinned him against the wall, growling dangerously. “Wh-what do you want?” Felix managed to croak out, his voice hoarse and weak. “What do I want?” the figure asked. “I was summoned here.”
Felix’s eyes widened. The incantation, the one he told you was just gibberish. It had brought this? Was it a demon? Before Felix could voice any of his questions, the figure spoke. “I know what you are, witch,” it said. “But I also know you didn’t summon me, so tell me,” the figure continued.
Before it could ask its own question, a voice called out and Felix’s heart dropped into his stomach. “No,” he whispered as the figure turned its head, letting out a chuckle. “You’re not alone,” the demon said. “It must have been her.”
Before Felix could protest, the demon dropped him, throwing him to the floor. Felix looked up but the dark figure was gone. “No,” he said, scrambling up to his feet and rushing out of the study, his feet thudding against the wooden floor as he made for the bedroom.
Upon entering, he looked around wildly as you sat up and turned on the lamp on your bedside table. “What’s wrong?” you asked as Felix looked around and finally moved over to the bed, making sure to check under it before looking in the closet. “Felix?” you asked softly as he moved to look out the window into the backyard but saw nothing.
“Felix, what’s wrong?” you asked again as he moved to the bed and sat back down. “Nothing,” he answered. “I thought I saw something,” he added before waving his hand and pulling the covers back and draping them over his legs. “Let’s just go back to sleep, love,” he murmured.
You nodded, turning off the lamp and settled back under the covers, Felix wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer. “Goodnight,” you whispered as he placed a couple kisses on your shoulder. “Goodnight, angel,” Felix replied, his voice soft in your ear.
He wasn’t sure when he fell asleep but Felix awoke with a start, blinking rapidly as he looked around. He was no longer in bed. He was instead sitting in the chair in the corner of the bedroom.
“What the-” he tried to push himself up but found he couldn’t move. ‘Sleep paralysis?’ he wondered before looking down and saw he was bound, quite literally, to the chair. White strips of cotton tying his wrists and ankles to the arms and legs of the chair.
“What the fuck?” he whispered, looking down and trying in vain to free himself.
“Don’t even bother,” a voice said and Felix looked up. The dark figure was standing in the corner, glowing red eyes looking at him and sending a chill up his spine. “You won’t be getting out until I’m done.” Felix stared back at the creature. “Done? Done with what?” Felix asked.
The figure began to move towards the bed. “Don’t,” Felix warned as the shadow stopped near the bed. Felix watched as the figure reached forward and turned on the bedside lamp near you.
Expecting to see a grotesque demonic presence, Felix was shocked when a young man, seemingly no older than he, came into view. He had shoulder length blond hair that fell in soft waves, half of it pulled up into a ponytail with strands framing his face. He was tall and slim, wearing a fitted black suit.
“Don’t what?” the man asked, his voice smooth and clear. “Don’t touch her?” he continued. Felix struggled against the bonds holding him in place. “She summoned me, did she not?” he asked as one hand moved to take hold of the covers. “I said don’t!” Felix snapped.
The man looked up, his red irises burning into Felix. He moved around to the foot of the bed, bringing him closer to Felix’s position, and took a seat. “Do you really think you’re in a position to be giving orders?” the man asked, tilting his head to the side. Felix said nothing, only staring back at the demon.
“Don’t touch her,” Felix said again. The figure sighed and quick as a flash, the chair Felix was sitting in was pushed back, the demon had him in another chokehold. “I’ll do whatever I want,” he growled, his voice demonic and low again. “She summoned me. Not you.”
Felix stared up into the red irises. “So if I want to fuck her and make you watch, I will.”
Felix struggled to speak, spitting out the words. “Didn’t know--” The demon let go of his throat, watching as Felix coughed. “She didn’t know what she was doing. I’m the witch here. Not her. She doesn’t know what any of this is.” The demon let the chair fall back onto all four legs as he stepped back, tucking his hands into his pockets. “What’s your name, witch?” he asked.
Felix looked up at him, the position he was in made him feel inferior. Like he was beneath this creature. “Felix,” he finally spat out, the contempt and fury he held for the creature finally surfacing. “Felix,” the creature parroted. “Nice to meet you Felix, I’m Hyunjin.”
Felix narrowed his eyes. “I don’t care what your name is,” he started. “My girlfriend isn’t a witch. She doesn’t understand what she was doing so you need to leave her alone,” he hissed. The demon, Hyunjin, smiled again. “Do you know what she said in that spell?” he asked, cocking his head.
Felix nodded, not needing to think about it.
“Gajang--”
“In English, if you would please, Felix,” Hyunjin interrupted, the smirk on his face never faltering.
Felix glared at the demon, mustering as much hatred as he could.
“I summon you from the depths of hell and likewise bind you to me,” Felix answered finally.
“Exactly,” Hyunjin replied. “But she didn’t know!” Felix countered as the demon moved from the foot of the bed. “She was just reading it! She thought it was gibberish!”
Hyunjin turned to look at Felix, now standing beside your sleeping form. “Gibberish? How could she possibly think it was gibberish?” he asked. “Because she doesn’t understand Korean. She can speak the words and read them but she doesn’t know what they mean unless I tell her,” Felix explained as Hyunjin walked back over.
“Are you being facetious?” the demon asked. Felix shook his head vigorously.
“I’m not.”
Hyunjin let out a sigh and stood up straight. “Regardless,” he started. “I was summoned. I have to complete the ritual.” Felix struggled against his restraints as the demon moved to your side of the bed. “Stop it please! Stop!” Felix pleaded. Hyunjin held up his hand.
“Shhh,” he whispered. “You’ll wake her.” ‘That’s it! Wake her up!’
Felix opened his mouth to call out to you. To wake you up but Hyunjin was on him in seconds, taking Felix’s chin in his hand. “Do it and I’ll gut you then I’ll snap her neck” he warned his voice deep and demonic. Felix’s eyes widened and he nodded silently.
Hyunjin let go of Felix and returned to the bed, sitting beside your sleeping form once again. “Y/N,” he said softly. Felix watched in horror as the demon gently brushed his fingers along your arm. “Y/N, sweetheart,” he continued and it dawned on Felix that Hyunjin was speaking in his voice. Felix’s own voice was coming out of the demon.
You murmured in your sleep, rolling onto your back, one hand resting on your stomach and the other falling onto Felix’s empty space. “Y/N,” Hyunjin repeated in Felix’s stolen voice. “Baby.” Felix felt his blood boil as Hyunjin’s hand cupped your cheek. “Get your hands off of her!” Felix snapped.
Hyunjin looked up, red irises glowing as he glared at Felix. “I warned you once,” he said darkly. “Don’t make me do it again.” Felix felt a cold shiver run up his spine. Something in the demon’s voice made him freeze up. “I won’t hesitate to snap her neck,” he threatened.
“So stop talking.”
Felix nodded, looking from the demon’s eyes to your sleeping form.
You tried to open your eyes but your lids were too heavy. You weren’t sure what woke you until you felt a hand on your cheek. “Y/N?” you heard Felix’s voice. “Y/N, sweetheart,” he said again. You murmured, uncertain of the words leaving your lips. You heard a chuckle. “Shh,” you heard Felix say again.
“Felix,” you finally whined as you felt the sheets being pulled back. “I’m right here,” you heard him whisper, feeling his hand moving up your thigh to your hip, pushing your sleep shirt up past your hip. “Mmh, Felix,” you mumbled as his hand moved back down, dipping between your thighs.
“Oh shit,” you gasped, back arching as your fingers dug into the sheets. “Shh,” your boyfriend whispered again. “Let me take care of you.”
You felt his fingers push your panties aside, teasing your entrance, parting your lips and finding your clit. You let out a moan as he drew slow circles on your clit. “That’s it,” you heard him coo. “Part your legs for me.” You did as he asked, spreading your thighs. “Good girl,” you heard him purr. “So good for me. So obedient.”
Your lips parted in a moan as you felt his fingers sink into your heat. “Oh fuck,” he groaned, slowly pumping his fingers in an out of your cunt. “I can’t wait to be inside you,” you heard him whisper in your ear, his breath hot and heavy against your skin. “You want that?” he asked, chuckling softly as your walls clenched around his fingers. “Yes,” you breathed, tongue darting out to lick your lips.
You felt his lips connect with yours, moaning into his mouth as you felt his fingers curl upwards. “F-Felix,” you moaned, one of your hands moving to grab his wrist as he sped up his movements, thumb rubbing against your clit in time with the thrust and curl of his fingers inside you. “I’m gonna--” you gasped, thighs twitching as your orgasm approached.
“I know,” he replied. “So do it,” you heard your boyfriend groan. “Cum for me, baby girl. Come on my fingers.”
Your back arched, a high pitched moan leaving your lips as you came around your boyfriend’s fingers. You felt his fingers slow to a halt before he carefully removed them, leaving your walls clenching around nothing. “Good girl,” you heard his voice.
You felt the bed shift as he moved. “Lix?” you called out, eyes fluttering to open. You felt his breath hot against your core. “I’m right here, baby,” he replied, hands resting on your hips. “Keep those pretty thighs open for me.”
You relaxed, head falling back against the pillows as your eyes struggled to stay open. You let out a whimper as you felt his tongue against your clit, slow deliberate licks until his lips connected with your clit, softly suckling, teasing occasionally with his tongue.
Your body shuddered, sensitive after your first intense orgasm. The slight burn only added to the pleasure as your boyfriend continued to toy with your clit, bringing you to the brink only to pull back at the last second, leaving you teetering on the edge.
“Felix, please,” you whined. “Please let me cum.”
You felt him chuckle against you. “Only because you asked so nicely, baby,” he murmured. Your hand moved, fingers threading through his hair as his tongue moved against your clit, each flick bringing you closer and closer until you finally came with a mewl, thighs threatening to close on your boyfriend’s head, but he managed to keep them open, allowing you to ride out your high until your body shuddered from sensitivity.
“Lixie, please,” you whined. You felt him press light kisses along the inside of your thighs, giggling when he playfully nipped at your skin. “That tickles,” you breathed. You felt the bed shift, Felix kissing up your hip, playfully sinking his teeth into your skin before continuing kissing up your body and the side of your neck. “God you’re so pretty,” you heard him whisper in your ear.
“Felix,” you giggled as his hands skimmed over your body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You felt him smile against the skin of your cheek, breath fanning over your ear. “Crazy thing actually,” he said softly.
“I’m not Felix.”
Your eyes snapped open. The first thing to greet you was the red lighting of the room. It was your room but it also wasn’t. You gasped as the man on top of you lifted his head and you finally got a look at his face. He was handsome, extremely so with plush peach lips and shoulder length blond hair. His red irises burned into your eyes and you found it hard to look away.
“Hello there,” he said, his voice no longer masked by your boyfriend’s voice. “What the f--” you started but he pressed a finger to your lips, effectively silencing you. “Shh,” he said softly. He pulled his hand back, replacing it with his lips. You pulled back. “What’s going on?” you asked.
“Who are you?”
He smiled, tilting his head as he studied your face, before cupping your cheek. “I’m Hyunjin,” he answered, thumb stroking your cheek. “Where am I?” you asked, trying to sit up but his weight prevented you from moving. “You’re in your bed,” he replied.
He turned his head to the side and you followed his line of sight where you saw a floor to ceiling mirror taking up most of the wall beside your closet. That definitely wasn’t in your room.
Your eyes widened as you looked at the mirror. The mirror clearly wasn’t reflecting what was happening around you. Instead, it was almost like a window to your room where you saw yourself sleeping peacefully in your bed, Felix beside you.
You turned your head back to look up at Hyunjin. “Is this a dream?” you asked and Hyunjin nodded slowly. “It is,” he confirmed before leaning down, pressing another kiss to your lips. “Doesn’t that make me a bad person? Dreaming about another man?” you asked, feeling your breath catch in your throat.
Hyunjin’s free hand had slipped between your bodies and was slowly dragging up and down your slit. “No,” he answered, shaking his head. “I’m merely a figment of your imagination, Y/N,” he explained. “When you wake up, you won’t even remember this.”
Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt Hyunjin’s fingers push into your cunt again, lips parting as you moaned. “Oh f-fuuuck,” you moaned, back arching. Hyunjin chuckled, dipping his head down to kiss down the side of your neck. “That’s it, pretty girl,” Hyunjin whispered in your ear.
“Don’t worry about anything else. Just listen to the sound of my voice.”
Felix glared at the demon hovering over you, his head was ducked, lips near your ear as he whispered. You were stirring in your sleep, whimpers and moans leaving your lips despite his hand not even leaving your cheek. “What are you doing to her?” Felix asked softly, knowing full well the demon could hear him.
Hyunjin pulled back and turned his head to look at him, his red irises glowing still.
“I can’t just physically take her,” Hyunjin explained. “I have to infiltrate her dreams first,” he added.
“Come on, Lix,” Hyunjin said with a smirk and Felix narrowed his eyes. “You’re a witch but you know all of this. This is amateur stuff.” Felix gritted his teeth as Hyunjin turned his attention back to you as you whispered a word. Felix felt his stomach drop.
You had whispered a name. Hyunjin’s name.
Felix felt a pang. A stab of betrayal but he couldn’t focus on that. He knew you were in some kind of trance. It wasn’t your fault.
“Perfect,” the demon said softly and moved his hand to grab the covers, pulling them back. “Don’t touch her, please,” Felix pleaded. Hyunjin ignored him, pulling the covers down to the foot of the bed. “Don’t touch her!” Felix hissed as Hyunjin slowly ran his hand up your leg.
“What are you gonna do?” Hyunjin asked, turning to look at Felix, a smirk on his lips.
Felix struggled against his bonds as Hyunjin moved slowly, unbuttoning his top and shrugging it off. His skin seemed to have an aura to it and he glowed. Hyunjin’s hand moved to remove your shorts, pulling your underwear with them. “Please,” Felix begged, feeling his eyes burn as tears started to form.
Hyunjin scoffed as he discarded your clothes, pushing the hem of your shirt up to expose your chest adorned in soft pink lace that left little to the imagination. “She wear this specifically for you?” Hyunjin asked, turning to lock eyes with Felix who tried to free his hands.
His eyes widened as the sound of fabric tearing met his ears. Hyunjin had ripped the bralette down the center, exposing your breast. “Stop, please!” Felix sobbed, pulling violently at his bonds, his eyes squeezing shut as he struggled. He heard Hyunjin click his tongue.
“Now, now,” the demon said mockingly. “You’re going to miss it if you aren’t watching.”
Felix opened his eyes to glare at the demon, his lashes wet with tears that had finally spilled, staining his red cheeks.
Hyunjin’s smirk widened. “Great. Now that I have your attention,” he said as he undid his belt and pulled it free, letting it fall to the floor with a clatter, hands moving to undo the button and zipper of his pants.
“Enjoy the show.”
“This feels so wrong,” you whispered as Hyunjin kissed down the valley of your chest. “Oh,” he said softly against your skin. “But it’s not real,” he reminded you. You let out a sigh, moaning as he sank his teeth into your skin. “Then why does it feel so real?” you gasped as he kissed his way back to your lips.
“Are you telling me you’ve never had dreams that felt real before?” he mused, not giving you a chance to answer as he took your lips in a messy, wet kiss, tongue moving against yours languidly. “No, I have,” you replied when he pulled away. “But they’ve never felt like this.”
Hyunjin chuckled, pushing his long tresses from his face as he knelt between your thighs. You hadn’t had the chance to notice until now that he was entirely nude. Your eyes traveled down his chest, taking note of his slim but toned body already glistening with a layer of sweat.
Before your eyes could continue past his navel, he clicked his tongue, almost in disapproval and you glanced back up to meet his gaze. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you that it’s rude to stare?” he asked teasingly.
You felt your cheeks burn under his heated gaze as he chuckled, his hand moving to push your knees further apart, spreading you more for him. You glanced quickly down, your own body obscuring your view of his cock as he guided the tip to your entrance.
“And you promise this isn’t real?” you asked softly, causing him to look up from where your bodies were about to connect. He gave you a breathtaking smile and nodded. “I promise,” he replied softly.
“None of this is real,” he added before slowly pushing into you. You let out a gasp as his length glided easily into you, stretching you open yet you felt no pain. No sting that usually accompanied the stretch.
It was entirely unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time. It was different from how Felix felt. Hyunjin was bigger, not just in stature. “Relax,” Hyunjin whispered, moving one of his hands to your thigh, rubbing soothingly. “That’s it” he continued as he glided further.
“Relax and let me in.”
“So f-full,” you murmured as you felt Hyunjin bottom out. He chuckled, his hand moving from your hip up to gently grope your chest. Your walls fluttered around his cock, gripping him tightly. “Such a responsive slut,” he chuckled and you moaned loudly.
Hyunjin gave you a couple slow thrusts, allowing you to feel every curve and ridge of his cock before he set a steady pace, pumping in and out of you at a torturously slow speed.
“Faster,” you gasped as you felt his thumb brush over your nipple. “Faster?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Please,” you pleaded. “Want more. Need more.”
Hyunjin chuckled, his hand moving back down to your waist. “If that’s what you want,” he replied, picking up the pace, his hips hitting yours with each thrust.
Your back arched off the mattress, moaning wantonly. It wasn’t like you shared any walls with any neighbors and regardless, this was a dream anyway.
Felix watched Hyunjin parted your thighs. From his position, he couldn’t see much but the demon had you completely naked and spread out before him.
“Please,” Felix sobbed softly as he turned his gaze away. He could hear your soft moans and the thought of watching another man have you the way he had you, the thought of another man making love to you, had his stomach churning.
“You’re going to want to watch this,” Hyunjin called but Felix shook his head, refusing to look.
“Watch this or I’ll snap her neck,” the demon snapped, his deep gravelly voice enough to force Felix to look back. He could tell Hyunjin had bottomed out, cock shoved inside you. “Just stop please!” Felix cried.
“Why won’t you just leave us alone?”
The demon chuckled but punctuated it with a groan as he pulled back, hips snapping forward and driving his cock back into your walls. You let out a moan, eyes still shut as Hyunjin set a steady pace.
“She gave me permission, you know,” he heard the demon say and Felix glared at Hyunjin.
“She’s asleep. How can she consent to this?” he growled, anger flooding his senses. Hyunjin chuckled, his hands moving to your hips and holding you in place as he continued you fucked you against the mattress.
“You like that, Y/N?” he asked, addressing you directly.
You moaned in response. “Words, sweetheart,” Hyunjin said, his voice steady and calm despite the way his hips moved. “Y-yes,” you choked out. Felix’s heart skipped a beat. ‘It’s not real. He has her under some sort of spell. She doesn’t know what’s going on!’ he told himself.
“She’s really enjoying herself,” Hyunjin said, addressing Felix now.
“Such a good little slut,” Hyunjin scoffed, giving you a harsh thrust, making you cry out. “Don’t hurt her!” Felix sobbed. “Please. Just… don’t hurt her,” he repeated. The demon chuckled lowly but said nothing else, slowing his thrusts to a roll. Your moans came from the back of your throat, deep and almost guttural.
“Hyun-Hyunjin!” you gasped. Hearing you say another man’s name had Felix crying harder. He felt entirely powerless. He could do nothing but sit there and wait for the demon to finish having its way with you and leave. He could do nothing but watch.
He hated the demon. He hated Hyunjin. And most of all, he hated himself for bringing that book into the house. Had he known, he never would have brought it in. He would have left it in Hongjoong’s shop for eternity. When everything was said in done, he would have to return the book to the shop in the morning.
“Oh fuck,” he heard Hyunjin growl. “She’s so fucking tight,” he continued. “Are you even fucking her properly?” Hyunjin scoffed, his voice strained. Felix felt anger and jealousy bubble up in his chest.
How dare he imply Felix didn’t satisfy you. The two of you had always been honest and communicated about your sexual needs with one another and never once had you expressed anything other than satisfaction. You often praised his performance.
You let out a small moan, almost a whimper of pleasure and it made Felix’s heart sink in his chest. He hung his head, silent tears falling from his eyes onto the material of his gray sweats. ‘Please let this end.’
“Fuck you feel so good,” Hyunjin murmured, slowing his hips and pulling from you. Letting out a whine, you reached for him, protesting as you felt him leaving your walls empty and aching for his cock to return. “Come here,” he said softly, grabbing your arm and gently but firmly pulling you up and flipping you over onto your stomach, facing the mirror.
He was behind you, pushing your knees apart with his own and guiding the head of his cock back to your waiting hole. You moaned as he slipped back in easily, his hips meeting your ass as he buried himself balls deep inside you. “Hyunjin,” you gasped.
He leaned over your back, keeping himself propped up as he wrapped his arm around your chest and resumed thrusting into you, the new angle allowing his cock to hit deeper and making you cry out. “Oh sweetheart,” he panted in your ear. “I’m gonna have you screaming by the end of the night,” he murmured before throwing all caution out the window.
Your fingers dug into the sheets under you as he pounded into you, the sound of skin on skin filling the room but not covering the sounds of your whimpers and moans.
Your mind went blank, almost numb as all thoughts left your mind and the only thing you could focus on was the mounting pleasure in the pit of your stomach and the flexing of Hyunjin’s muscles around you as he tightened his hold on you, hips slamming against your ass. Your moans and cries growing in pitch.
“That’s it,” Hyunjin grunted in your ear, his voice dropping an octave. “Scream for me. Say my name.”
“H-Hyunjin,” you sobbed, your body writhing under him from the intensity of the pleasure coursing through your veins. “Louder,” he ordered. “Scream it.” You cried out his name as he rammed all of his length into you at once, driving the head of his cock as far as he could and you swore you felt it in your stomach. ‘Is it bigger than it was a minute ago?’ You were sure he wasn’t that big before.
“What’s the matter, baby? Cat got your tongue?”
You moaned, head lolling as he thrust into you harder. “Am I fucking you that good? Has your mind gone completely blank?” You moaned in response, eyes fluttering shut as your walls spasmed around his cock, gripping him tightly.
“Fuck, keep squeezing my cock like that and I’ll cum,” Hyunjin growled in your ear. “You want that, don’t you? Want me to fill this pretty cunt with my cum.” Your walls clenched around his cock again and his hand moved up, taking your jaw in his hand.
“Open your eyes, slut,” he growled. Your eyes fluttered open. The reflection in the mirror had changed. You were looking at yourself. Facing yourself with Hyunjin behind you, his red irises glowing in the dark and burning into yours.
His appearance in the mirror had changed slightly. Half of his blond hair was pulled up into a ponytail and two black horns were protruding from his forehead, curving back over his head and the tips curling inward on themselves. Your eyes widened. What the fuck were you seeing? Was this still a dream or was this real? The line between dream and reality had blurred and you couldn’t tell anymore.
“What are--” Hyunjin tightened his grip, holding your jaw in place. His sharp, pointed nails digging slightly into your skin. “Stop talking,” he growled. “Just lay there and take it like the whore you are.” Your walls clenched around his cock at the degrading name he hurled at you.
“Look at you,” he chuckled lowly. “So desperate to get fucked you’d let any man have you, isn’t that right?” he asked. ‘No,’ you thought. ‘That isn’t true.’ The truth was that you only wanted Felix. You only wanted your boyfriend. Even with this stranger fucking you in your dreams, you wanted Felix.
“No,” you answered, trying to shake your head but the demon’s grip was too strong. “I wasn’t asking you, slut,” he scoffed. You met his burning gaze in the mirror. ‘Not asking me?’ you wondered. ‘Who could he possibly be talking to?’ It was then you noticed something else just on the edge of the reflection.
A body sitting in the chair in the corner of the room. Your eyes widened. ‘Felix?’ It was indeed your boyfriend. His head hung in shame, wrists bound to the arms of the chair and his ankles likewise bound to the legs of the chair. “F-Fe-lix?” you stammered. At the sound of your voice, your boyfriend raised his head, eyes meeting yours in the mirror.
“No,” Hyunjin growled. With one final thrust, your eyes rolled back as your orgasm hit you. You felt Hyunjin tense on top of you, his own orgasm washing over him as he released inside you. You could feel the warm gush of cum enter your cunt and the stalling of Hyunjin’s hips as he buried his cock inside you before everything went black.
Felix woke with a start, sitting up and crying out.
It was morning. He looked around quickly, eyes scanning the room but he saw no sign of the demon Hyunjin nor did he see any sign of you. He glanced down and noticed he was naked. He looked around for his clothes.
‘What the fuck happened last night?’ he wondered as he turned, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and leaning forward, resting his elbows on his thighs as he covered his face with his hands. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, not enough to hurt but enough that the blackness of his vision was littered with stars.
He finally pulled his hands from his face and sat up straight, inhaling deeply before letting it out. His clothes were on the floor beside the bed and he snatched them quickly, pulling on his sweats and then the shirt. He made his way over to the door, turning the knob and opening the door.
He was greeted by the sound of sizzling and the smell of bacon. He allowed his feet to carry him into the hall and to the top of the stairs where he heard soft voices and your light laughter. He hurried down the steps and turned around the railing to enter the living room.
In the kitchen, you stood at the range, cooking breakfast. You looked up, smiling as you met his gaze.
“Well good morning, sunshine,” you said as he stood in the doorway. “We have a visitor,” you continued, nodding towards a figure sitting at the table, hidden from Felix’s view with a newspaper. Felix murmured an apology as he walked into the kitchen, scratching the back of his head as he moved around the counter and over to where you stood, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“Morning,” he murmured and moved to pour himself a cup of coffee, preparing it the way he liked before he sat at the table across from the figure. You moved to set a plate of food in front of Felix, a spatula in one hand and donning your pink apron.
“You didn’t tell me your cousin was coming to visit,” you said, lighting patting his shoulder as Felix picked up his fork. His eyes widened as you turned away and headed back into the kitchen. Felix turned his gaze from your figure to the newspaper before him. ‘I don’t have a cousin.’
You prepared another plate and walked over to set it in front of the guest. “Oh,” he said with a chuckle. “Thank you,” he added in an all too familiar voice.
A voice Felix thought had been part of the horrible nightmare he’d experienced.
He watched in horror as the newspaper lowered and the familiar face of Hyunjin appeared with a smile. “It’s just like Felix to forget to mention me,” he said as you moved back to load the last plate and take a seat between Felix and the demon now sitting at his dinner table, enjoying a breakfast cooked by you, his loving girlfriend.
How did you not recognize Hyunjin after last night? Did you forget everything? If the oblivious smile on your lips was anything to go by, Felix could assume you’d forgotten the events of last night.
“We had a rough night last night,” you said, turning your gaze on your boyfriend and smiling at him sweetly. “I hope he wasn’t too rough on you,” Hyunjin joked and Felix watched the way you inhaled a sip of your water and started coughing.
Before he could react, Felix watched with a mix of anger and jealousy as Hyunjin leaned forward and patted your back firmly, a look of concern crossing his features. “Are you alright, Y/N?” he asked. “I’m sorry,” he continued. “That was inappropriate of me.” You shook your head, taking another sip of water. “No, it’s okay,” you said, waving your hand.
“Don’t worry about it.”
Felix’s knuckles turned white, his grip on his fork handle tight as he tried to decide whether he should eat or stab Hyunjin in the neck. “I’m also sorry for dropping in like this,” Hyunjin explained. “Unannounced. It’s just that I’m passing through and haven't seen my dear cousin in so long.” Felix narrowed his eyes at the demon, wanting to smack that smug grin off his face.
You smiled kindly at Hyunjin. “Well you’re more than welcome to stay with us for a few days,” you offered and Felix felt his heart sink, his stomach dropping simultaneously as he looked from you to Hyunjin who was already looking at Felix. “That’s so kind of you,” Hyunjin replied, staring directly at Felix, his red irises burning into the latter’s eyes, holding his gaze.
“I think I’m really going to enjoy your hospitality.”
ⓘ Graphics made by me. Content and support banners made using a template by cafekitsune. I do not allow reposts, translations, or continuations of my works. All writing and graphics are ©️ kwanisms.
#cultofdionysusnet#mfu-net#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids fanfic#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#hyunjin scenarios#hyunjin imagines#hyunjin fanfiction#hyunjin fanfic#hyunjin smut#hyunjin x reader#felix scenarios#felix imagines#felix fanfiction#felix fanfic#felix smut#felix x reader#kwanisms kinktober 2023
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🕷️ Recommend something of the asker's choice -- favorite identity shenanigans fic(s)?
i really was going to just recommend one, but i got...a bit carried away. here are two timkons, two superbats, some general batfams, and one absolute wildcard with svsss to cover every possible vibe here.
been a number and a name by @wynterstars, a timkon 90s period piece chock full of identity shenanigans and kon angst and platform boots; i adore the first two installments and am eagerly subscribed to the ongoing third installment.
call me cute and feed me sugar by @suzukiblu, a timkon wip in which tim, upon finding out kon is still relying on cadmus for room & board, accidentally-on-purpose becomes a 15 y/o sugar daddy. notably, kon does not know this rich tim drake kid is also robin.
the long hangover by @coffiocake, in which superbat somehow end up dating in all permutations before the full realizations hit; an excellent identity shenanigans longfic to settle in with for a night or two.
How to Date the Batman by @solomonara (+ the whole series), a superbat fic where most of the identity shenanigans are about them dating while other people don't know their secret identities; place of honor on this list for the chapter 3 jason & clark scene especially.
Say Uncle by @megaerakles, a batfam fic in which tim's harebrained fake uncle scheme gets even more harebrained when he hires jason todd to be his fake uncle; the multiple layers of identity shenanigans from tim pretending not to know who jason is + both of them pretending not to know tim is robin + tim actually not knowing jason is red hood yet are endlessly entertaining.
Top 10 Secret Identity Fails by @havendance, in which helena bertinelli is tim drake's new english teacher. cue a delightful fic of tim panicking for 2.5k words while helena is just trying to do her job (and worry a bit about robin).
love and bruises by @transdickiebird & @homobiwan, a laugh-out-loud and also genuinely sweet fic in which recently adopted jason todd thinks bruce and batman are two different people who happen to be dating each other, and jason is not thrilled about it.
wild card: The Best Luo Binghe by Neery, a svsss au in which pidw!luo binghe gets transported to a strange fertility celebration (fan convention), which is tbh a typical side quest for luo binghe until he meets a guy cosplaying as shen qingqiu, who has no clue he's talking to the real luo binghe. i think about this one every so often because 1) it's great and 2) it fully leans into the absolute bonkers metahumor potential of its source material. (which also means it will probably be incomprehensible if you're not familiar with svsss, but in that case just trust me that it's fun.)
[fic rec ask game]
#this is after i cut the list down. there were more#guys i love identity shenangians can you tell#thanks for asking for them 🫡#timkon#superbat#batfam#fic rec#ask meme
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*presses my face against your tank* HELLO RAY !!! :D I AM FINALLY HERE !! MY BRAINCELLS HAVE COLLIDED AND PRODUCED A THOUGHT !!
or, er, sort of? more like a vague vibe, but i digress. basically, consider: pining arle. how does she realize her feelings for you? how does she cope? how does her behaviour around you change? does it? what is she thinking the whole time? when would she consider making a move? essentially i would like to see you psychologically pick apart this woman. go as in depth into her brain or inner monologue as you want !!! the set dressing can be canon or an au, i’ll eat it up regardless :)) and as a professional angst writer i know you can write some absolutely monstrous (/pos) yearning and i’m frothing at the mouth thinking about it 🤤🤤🤤 lookin forward to your thoughts but also take your time with it !!! godspeed 🫡🫡🫡
An Unfit Role
(Arlecchino x GN! Reader)
A/N - Oh sev… you spoil me too much. You truly do. Somehow this turned into very ‘Arlecchino is a person'-esque and I don't know how but oh well. I don't know if this answered your questions very well, but hopefully this is what you mean by psychologically picking apart her! Was this enough pining? Content warnings / info - uhh none I think. just a lil bit of angst, 1.4k words
Arlecchino is many things. The Fourth Fatui Harbinger, a Snezynayan diplomat, the head of the House of the Hearth, and simply ‘'Father.’ She takes on many roles, and enforces them with an iron fist, every facade meticulously practiced and rationalized. Perfected as if she were an actor on a stage, every action and step is calculated beforehand. And if external factors or unpredictable variables crop up in the midst of her play? Well, a good actor knows how to improvise. Arlecchino is well aware of her roles, has memorized the lines and drilled through every movement. The Knave has many feats from each character she plays. A flawless performer, in those aspects.
A lover is not a character she can play. Someone who loves. It is a role that she cannot hope to touch, one she cannot imagine assigning herself too. She is far too inexperienced in what it pertains to. Her perception would grossly mischaracterize it, painting a rather crude display of what she knows of but doesn't know. After all, how could one act without an adequate example? No actor would want to showcase a poor impression of an original source material, an actor presents only their most remarkable qualities. A good actor knows what they cannot act, and it is this where her talents reach their limit. It is what her role as a ‘Father’ stems from; this inability to express something far too fragile and flimsy for her to hold.
Of the few showcases of others playing the role, Arlecchino is knowledgeable enough that they are simply inept showcases. The Tsaritsa, who has shown the capability to act, and yet chooses to conceal her abilities from her audience. Crucabena, an unqualified actor, whose words dripped with far too much venom for the soft-spoken voice that she used. Perhaps Clervie was the only accurate and genuine actor able to play the part, but one cannot appreciate the traits of an unfinished story. And the naive Peruere, who could hardly imitate her counterpart, was maimed by Arlecchino’s own hands. It is here that she learns that the role of a lover earns no applause, because it adds little to the plot, and so it lacks a function in her story.
Despite this, she finds herself in this scene, where she plays a character unlike her usual, an entirely new character involuntarily thrusted into her by the cruel machinations of her mind.
It is a subtle thing. First, she was just the Knave to you. But somehow, among your presence, her facade slips, and she dons another character.
She becomes a character who knows of nothing but the way her sight is captured by a singular person, a character whose dead heart begins to beat, daring to flutter back to life after it was painfully wrenched out of her chest by her favorite story's ending. She becomes acutely aware of this role when her eyes linger on you a moment longer than need be, when she indulges your empty but no less engaging conversations, when she familarizes herself with the particular fauna scent you carry. When she closes her eyes, your smile flashes through her mind, she knows she's fallen.
An actor knows when to quit, when they misfit the character they're performing. And yet her mind remains stubborn. Acting a role one does not fit will only damage the actor's reputation, and she intends on abandoning it. But it is difficult for her to dismiss how much she yearns for a warmth that the blood flames in her veins cannot bring. It is difficult to deny that she is not momentarily blinded and stunned by your beaming expression, even when you are not looking at her. It is increasingly more difficult to control the pulsing underneath her skin. This is a character she cannot control, instead, it often feels that the character controls her.
It is an unseemly, disgusting appearance for her. If it were physically possible, she would plunge her very own cursed, clawed hands into her chest, to grasp onto this fickle, volatile organ and crush it just to exhaust the remaining embers of a futile hope. If only it were as simple as that. Love is far too much of a complicated role for her, and yet it is somehow inescapable. Some sort of torment placed onto her by the archons.
She can long, she can reach, she can prance around you, but never can she touch. For love imprints its scorch marks deeper than any weapon or assault. One of the lessons her story has concluded to.
So, instead, she reduces its role to a minor character. She lets her stares remain, but she observes you from a distance. She does not dawdle a second longer besides you if she needn't be. She dresses the role of a lover as an observer. Everything she touches with these wretched, blackened hands soon turns into nothing but embers and ashes, and so the only way that you will remain is away from her.
On her desk, sits a vase with a single flower. It is your favorite flower, the flower that you smell of. It does not move from its place, nothing is done to it besides being watered. Its stem is so brittle, and the petals are far too easy to wither away.
(It is a reminder, every time she sits at her desk. Oh, how'd she like to stroke the patels with as much tenderness as she could muster. How'd she like to cradle it in her hands, this source of life, despite being so delicate, is so beautiful. How'd she like to be able to wake up everyday, and view upon this blossoming flower. But she is not a gardener. She knows nothing of how to make a flower bloom.)
Humans are the only viable actors for the role of a lover. A curse is not.
(In her dreams, sometimes you are in place of Clervie. Yet, like Clervie, the only moment she is able to cradle you is when her sword impales you. She will not let another flower wilt, she will not burn another flower.)
It is why you baffle her. Why do you gaze upon her with that expression, as if her claws are not one one more inch from piercing your skin and ripping into your flesh? How do you take her hands in yours, somehow slotting them as if they were always meant to, when they’re soiled with vulgar blood? Her cutting words and sharp tongue, how do they not dissuade you? How do you see her blackened skin, and not be driven away by such a mark of impurity and depravity?
How could you not tell that she is improper for the role that you seek?
She wonders if a flower is a poor description of you. She wonders if you are instead a Sundew ensnaring a spider, unwilling to let it escape. No, perhaps that is not fitting for you, because you are unaware how effortlessly she can char you–unaware of the imminent danger that comes with keeping such a venomous creature.
Arlecchino is many things. She is a coward, if only for you. She cannot abandon her role, but she cannot perform better, floating in the state of inadequacy that she so despises. Playing a lover makes her foolish, and it is a compromising role.
She is foolish, but she is despicable. She is selfish. And though she is perfect actor, even performers must fail to succeed. One day, her mental will and patience crumbles. She requests you into her office, your doe-eyed expression widens when she gives you the flower that sits lone in a glass vase on her desk. She tells you that you plague her thoughts, every feeling and emotion is muddied when they concern you, a culmination of things not within her grasp, not within her control.
It is your performance that finally teaches her what she lacked before: playing the role of a lover requires another. It is a role dependent on another character, otherwise it cannot succeed. It matters not how experienced one is with the other, as long as the characters are committed to it.
There is another lesson that she learned from you.
“I cannot act as a lover.”
“Why must you act to love me?”
Love is a fickle, unpredictable thing. There is no words to be practiced, no actions to be scripted.
Arlecchino is many things. A lover may be one of them.
#arlecchino x reader#arlecchino x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin impact fanfics#genshin fics#arlecchino#edgeray.writes#edgeray.requests
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I'm like, 70% sure this is only an issue with the gravity falls fandom on twitter, but if I don't say something I think I'm gonna explode
there Doesn't Need to be a bad guy between fiddleford, emma-may, and ford ! we can recognize one character causing harm to another, both directly and indirectly, Without framing it like it's intentional or that it makes any of them inherently bad.
in particular, I think there's been pushback against people vilifying ford (both in general and as angst material for other characters) by just. shifting that blame over to another character instead and running with it.
so to get this out of my system:
Yes I agree that fiddleford and ford have a lot of queercoding between each other. I think it's always been there to an extent, but it's absolutely been reinforced with the book of bill and "thisisnotawebsite."
and even if you choose to read their relationship as platonic (which is fine ! a lot of people like to read ford as aroace, for instance), it's very clear that fiddleford's relationship with ford heavily put a strain on his relationship with his family and ultimately lead to his and emma-may's divorce.
and there's nothing wrong with exploring that! exploring how it hurt emma-may and tate, exploring how it's another facet of fiddleford ruining his own life without even thinking about it, exploring the complicated feelings that were happening in that cabin. and I don't even think there's anything wrong with joking about fiddleford being a cheater or ford and emma-may being rivals.
but it Really grinds my gears when people frame fiddleford as being inherently in the wrong for taking the job with ford, as if he was intentionally hurting his family or that he Genuinely went there to cheat.
1: one of the first things we're told about fiddleford in journal 3 is that he was raised dirt poor and wanted to climb the latter in the scientific community to give his family a better life than HE had.
and that's Exactly why he took the job in gravity falls ! it was someone he trusted as his good friend AND someone he trusted academically. the whole idea is that this was supposed to be a temporary job that would Both help a dear friend of his And open up opportunities for his future.
and like, this aspect of his character isn't insignificant. he is Very Much So an archetype of a poor person, and has been since his inception. it's part of what Makes him a match for ford, he's an intellectual match yes but he's also an Outcast that wants more out of life than what he has. this aspect isn't Malicious by any means, but it equally lead them to hurt people they cared about.
Yes he left emma-may and his young son, but it was Never supposed to be forever. he left FOR them, which is half of what makes what happened so tragic in the first place. in many ways, he hurt them Because he cared about them.
and Yes, I do love a queer reading of these characters (and I'll get to that), but it's Very clear in the source material that fiddleford Does care about his family. a big part of his falling out with ford in the first place was because Fiddleford thought they both needed to leave gravity falls to raise their own families, and it's something that fiddleford brings up earlier on in their stay together as well.
that doesn't excuse how he'd mistreat emma-may at all. she was absolutely in her right to divorce him (which I thought even before the book of bill dropped). but I feel like we're letting the subtext overtake the TEXT while examining these characters and their dynamic.
2: lets assume that fiddleford IS a closeted gay man (or bisexual, or that he and emma may are in a lavender relationship, or-), as I so often like to do.
while exploring the pain that could cause emma-may and tate is Very Interesting and fun, I think we're ignoring the systemic homophobia in the room.
fiddleford was born in the 1960s to a religious poor rural southern family, and emma-may and fiddleford's relationship happened in the 1980s.
I Do think fiddleford is definitely progressive for his time (and just overall a very chill dude), but his upbringing Also very clearly had an affect on him. if it's possible for a man who believes the world is a simulation to also believe in jesus then fiddleford's the one to have done it.
and this is implied directly in the text mind, whether fiddleford is still actively religious or not he gets on ford for doing things like taking the lord's name in vein. not something that someone who Wasn't affected by a religious upbringing would do.
there's also the textual (rather extreme) anxiety, and the Implied ocd (the hair pulling, the cubix cube, the moral fixation, etc).
with all that said !
YES it would be extremely painful for emma-may to be in love with a gay man who had a crush on someone else, whether fiddleford was aware of or even acted on those feelings or not.
but I do hope we can all understand why it's Not Great to frame fiddleford as being inherently in the wrong for this right? for either not realizing his feelings at all or deliberately repressing them in the wake of Probable religious trauma and Definite safety issues in the society he lived in? Yeah?
no we should not treat emma-may like she's "getting in the way" of our beautiful yaoi, but ignoring systemic homophobia to vilify a queer man being afraid of appearing as anything but straight in the 1980s is. um. Bad.
the thing that's Most interesting about this whole situation is that it's a tragedy through and through. you can't inherently blame Any of them for what happened, and trying to do so loses what actually makes the situation so complex and painful.
because fiddleford clearly DID care about them, ALL of them, very dearly. and he obviously wanted to do the right thing. and yet he hurt them all, and yet his entire life and mind fell apart to ash in his fingers.
it's Crazy, and it absolutely does a disservice to the situation to frame it as fiddleford just being a slutty lying cheater (or ford Ruining a perfectly good man by being abusive, or emma-may getting in the way of our old man yaoi).
except bill, we can vilify bill. I think he'd like that
#gravity falls#gf#fiddleford#fiddleford mcgucket#ford pines#emma may mcgucket#meta#long post#fiddleford is a genuinely kind man that only meant well#and he ALSO hurt many Many people (possibly himself most of all)#and this fact is not lost on him !#he Fully takes responsibility for what he's done Within The Show#there's no need to hold him accountable when he's ALREADY a victim of his own actions and when he already holds himself accountable#we don't have vilify or flatten fiddleford to sympathize with emma-may or tate#It's Fine#It's Literally Just Fine To Be Nice To Him#Please Be Nice To My Little Possum
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Tangerine, can I request angst?
One wherein the reader is Shang Taung's minion who was sent to Liu Kang's timeline to disrupt their peace but fell for the Fire God instead because he helped her find herself. Like originally, the reader was like Harley Quinn towards Shang Tsung but Liu Kang helped her heal. Angst ensues when her origins were revealed and she was defeated by Titan Shang Tsung and was taken back to her original timeline where she was killed by that timeline's Liu Kang.
Sorry if it's too long, and it's alright if you don't want to write it!<33
you're not him
a/n: ahhhh, yes, let me flex my angst writing muscles real quick, haven't done this in a while, changed some stuff around but it still fits the basic permise
pairing: liu kang x gn!reader
warnings: canon typical violence
this wasn’t right, none of this was right
he was kind, nice, warm, everything Shang Tsung wasn’t, and you felt yourself drawn to the god despite your orders
you really had tried your best to create chaos, to find this timeline’s Shang Tsung and Quan Chi and harness their ambition and sorcery to create death
but then, you had gone and found them and saw that they were already taken in by Liu Kang, to be reformed and taught to harness their powers for good
you had tried to infiltrate Empress Sindel’s court, to whisper thirsts for power to General Shao and Reiko nand cause an uprising to kill Outworld’s champions
but the suggestions seemed to fly right over their heads, and they remained fiercely loyal to Empress Sindel
you didn’t even try with Mileena, and when you had gone in search of anyone that could and should have wanted to usurp the throne for themselves, you found nothing but peace and tranquility and happiness
every problem that they might’ve had were already solved or mitigated, and your mission was on the trajectory to fail
you could not fail Shang Tsung, he would kill you if you came back fruitless and without disrupting the peace of Lord Liu Kang’s timeline
and so, you went straight to Liu Kang, to go straight to the source of all this peace and kill it at its source, except that he had already been expecting you
he had seen you through the sands of time, granules not meant to be in this hourglass, and he sat you down and drank tea with you
not an ounce of stress or worry marred his features as you picked at your fingers in nervousness, had he poisoned the tea? was he planning on killing you? was he going to send you back to Shang Tsung with no results?
he didn’t do any of those options, instead he talked about idle things, about how he solved his realm’s problems before they got out of control and how he knows you’re here to disrupt his timeline
and yet, even after that conversation, he offers you reprieve, to train underneath him and get away from Shang Tsung from your timeline
you hesitate for a moment, confused by the warmth he extended to you, but you take his hand after a moment
one of his monks escort you to a personal room, gives you clean training uniforms that fit you, and leaves you alone to gather your thoughts
you want to kill him, you need to kill him, to please Shang Tsung, because Shang Tsung would slit your throat, would kill you, would torture you, would spare no mean to make sure you suffer
then you thumb the soft material in your hands, the clean training uniform, a personal room, an adjacent bathroom just for yourself
Liu Kang had managed to bring peace to all of the realms here, and he must be a powerful god to do so, perhaps the god would be able to protect you from the wrath of Shang Tsung
and so, you train at the Fire Temple with the other monks, you meet his champions and become friends with them, you grow closer with Liu Kang as he talks to you over tea
he doesn’t poke or prod, just listens and hums, filling in the empty silence with his own words to keep the conversation going
day by day, you relax, you stop checking every corner for danger, you stop guarding your food like it’s your last and only meal, your stop pushing and straining your body until you collapse during training sessions
you feel your spirits lift, your body feels lighter, the world seems brighter and warmer and better
you sit next to Liu Kang, talking to him about a flower you saw yesterday, how beautiful it was and how it bloomed in the sun
it was something you had never really seen, no Shang Tsung’s realm was just full of death and anger and husks, nothing alive was there, nothing beautiful existed
he asks you more about the realm you’re from, how different everything is, if the counterparts of his champions live with Shang Tsung
you clear your throat, fingers gripping onto the teacup as you think and dredge up the memories
you tell him about Shang Tsung’s champions, about how Lord Raiden and Fujin still exist but do the bidding of Shang Tsung to clear and conquer the realms
you tell him about how screams constantly fill the air, how blood stains the ground and leaves the permanent sickly smell of iron in the air
you tell him how Liu Kang also exists in Shang Tsung’s universe, how he is much crueler, angrier, fast to fuse and killed without remorse
Shang Tsung’s Liu Kang was the perfect lap dog and weapon against any unruly civilians or protests or civil wars in the realms
he was Shang Tsung’s best fighter, and if Liu Kang wanted to, he could snap your neck easily, break you in half and not even bat an eyelash
you flinch as you feel Liu Kang place a hand on your thigh, drawing you out of the memories, and he smiles at you, a little concerned
he tells you you do not have to worry about that, that he will keep you safe from Shang Tsung, that you do not deserve to wilt in such an environment
it makes your heart warm as you blush and tilt your head away to hide your face and sip on your tea
after that day, the relationship between you and Liu Kang shifts
he’s much closer to you, much more handsy and touchy, and he always finds time to bring you bouquets of flowers from his personal gardens
you find yourself leaning into his touch, seeking him every time you walk into a room, reaching out to brush your fingers against his when you two stand close to each other
you lay in a field, an off day to relax from training, and you read a book, something that you hadn’t learned how to do until you came to this realm
it was fascinating, the characters, the words, and it was quite entertaining
you don’t even have to look up to know Liu Kang approaches you, and he sits next to you and glances at what you’re reading
he passes you a cup of tea silently and lets you read in a comfortable silence as he skims the pages while you go over the sentences
finally, you reach the end of your chapter and set the book down to look at Liu Kang, and you hadn’t realized how close his face was to yours
you flush but don’t move away, and he doesn’t either
instead, he leans in a little closer to you, bringing his hand up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, and you bring your hand up to cup his and bring it to your cheek
he holds onto your face gently, carefully, as if you would break
you tilt your head back, and he leans his head down, lips only a breath apart, so close to touching you, kissing you
the alarm bells ring in the courtyard, and the both of you jolt from your hazy daydream and back into reality as you stand up and rush to the main courtyard
you find Shang Tsung standing in front of a dark portal, clutching onto the neck of a monk and draining them of their power before dropping them to the ground as a husk
the titan spots you and gives a wide smile, but you can feel and hear the malice in his voice, how he’s going to make you regret for you decision to turn against him
you ready your stance, ready to fight him, but Liu Kang pushes you behind him, shielding you away from Shang Tsung’s maniacal glare
he laughs at how protective Liu Kang has grown of you before he starts to insult you, calling you a dirty traitor, a good for nothing harlot, how you’re useless and a pathetic excuse of a warrior
Liu Kang scowls at the words and his fists light into flame, and Shang Tsung smiles and continues his insults
you see him ready his claws, his powers glowing in his hands, and you know that this not an encounter Liu Kang will survive if you don’t intervene
as Liu Kang lunges forward, you grab onto his clothes and pull him back, using your body weight and momentum to throw him to the floor and yourself forward into Shang Tsung’s body
you push him through the portal, and the titan grabs onto you tightly, bringing you through the portal with him
you catch a glance backward, and you see Liu Kang reaching out for you, his words forming a sound of anguish
and then the portal blinks away and you’re back in your own dimension
Shang Tsung throws you onto your back, causing your breath to disappear into the air, and he stabs his claws through your stomach, and blood spurts from your mouth
but you grit your teeth and bear through the pain as he slashes and claws and beats you within an inch of your life
your blood paints the ground in a twisted canvas, but Shang Tsung stops just a few seconds before dealing the landing blow
he calls over Liu Kang, and you see him come over to you, eyes no longer warm, hands cold and painful, and words sharp and jagged as he beats you to death
he smiles at you wickedly as he deals the final blow, and you hope that your Liu Kang has found a way to protect the peace of his realm as your last thought
#tangerine writes#tangerine answers#mortal kombat#mk#mortal kombat 1#mk1#mk1 2023#mortal kombat x reader#mk x reader#mk x you#mk x y/n#liu kang#liu kang mk1#mk1 liu kang#liu kang x reader#liu kang x you#liu kang x y/n
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House of Fingolfin | Being In An Arranged Marriage With Them
A/N: This takes place in Valinor, in a no–darkening verse and arranged marriages are common traditions among the elves. By now, I'm considering this an AU within the Silm verse with all the ideas that’s been swimming in my mind after writing each headcanon (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
Warnings: feelings of neglect and loneliness, resentment, disputes, there is some comfort, angst because it's an arranged marriage
Arranged Marriage AU: Arafinweans ver. | Feanorians ver.
☆ . ࣪ ˖ ࿐ Fingolfin
Fingolfin strongly resents being told what to do. However, if complying benefits his family and upholds his royal status as an exemplar for princes, he will reluctantly follow through. In this context, he would have no significant objections to an arranged marriage.
He genuinely believes in his father’s good intentions and considers his mother’s agreement as final. Fingolfin would attentively attend the meeting, listening to the criteria and rationale for the arrangement while occasionally glancing at your disheartened expression.
Initially, he might struggle to comprehend why you don’t view the situation as a win–win, given that you’re marrying a prince and about to enjoy a luxurious lifestyle. The notion of being forced into this or having a lover only dawns on Fingolfin when his younger brother or a friend brings it up.
He’s determined to make the relationship work and hopes you won’t be confrontational or resist connecting with each other. Your reluctance to make things work is a source of frustration for him, but his pride prevents him from complaining to others.
But it is important to keep in mind that as much as he’s fighting you to make this work, he is respectful of your boundaries and personal space.
“I may have been slow to realise your reservations about the arrangement, but may I ask that you at least attempt not to distance yourself when all I want is for this to go smoothly? Yes, we will be married soon, but I’m not suggesting a romantic involvement, just a basic level of cooperation to ease the tension, please.”
He’s eager to make the arrangement a success because he sees it as essential for his role as a prince and a way to outshine his older brother. In Fingolfin’s perspective, this is a competition, albeit unfortunate for you.
You must assert that for this relationship to work, it shouldn’t be a platform for competition or jealousy, but rather something mutually beneficial and meaningful. You seek a partner you can rely on and trust, while he desires a confidant.
Despite the challenges, you enjoy a royal lifestyle with extravagant parties, balls, and dinners, access to the finest materials and food, a luxurious house designed to your liking, and any other desired indulgence. Fingolfin explicitly mentions that the house was created with your preferences in mind in hopes of ensuring some form of comfort is achieved.
An added benefit of the relationship is Fingolfin’s trust in your abilities as a mediator and leader. As a means to enhance communication, he gradually opens up and seeks your advice in the hopes of strengthening the arrangement.
☆ . ࣪ ˖ ࿐ Fingon
Initially, when the news was broken to him, Fingon found it all rather amusing. He doubled over and laughed in his father’s face, thinking it was some kind of joke. It took a while for the seriousness of the situation to sink in, and he soon realised that this was no laughing matter. Fingon is a free–spirited individual who believes in choosing when to marry, not never for political reasons, as was the case in this instance.
When you’re in the room, Fingon prefers to keep his anger in check and maintain a pleasant demeanour, as he doesn’t want to frighten you. He’s well aware that you had no say in this decision, and his father is the only one he has an issue with.
The sorrowful look on his face when he meets your eyes is heart–wrenching, as both of you are victims of politics. Despite the circumstances, he does his best to shield you from the harsh reality and maintain the illusion of a simple friendship.
Among all his siblings and his father, Fingon is undoubtedly the most agreeable elf to be married to. Despite his inner turmoil and his father’s constant pressure to make the relationship work, he remains cheerful and amiable in your company, ensuring your comfort throughout the entire engagement.
However, in the early days of the marriage, he was the complete opposite of his usual self, largely due to your reserved nature. He was distant and mostly silent as he grappled with controlling his temper, trying to figure out how to make the relationship work.
If he’s going to be your husband against his will, he’s determined to be the best one you could hope for. Do you require your space? You got it. Do you not wish to see or speak to him? He’ll respect it. Do you want him to stop pretending that everything’s perfect? You’ll get that as well, although it may not be what you expect.
“You might be expecting me to shout, scream, or completely ignore you. I couldn’t bring myself to do any of that, though, as it’s not how my mother raised me to behave when I’m dissatisfied... I understand that you see through the façade I put up; it’s mostly to get my father off my back. But it’s not an act when I’m around you.”
Count on Fingon to make your forced marriage bearable and tolerable. He alleviates the typical anxiety associated with arranged marriages by filling it with unconditional love, support, appreciation, and trust. He never lets the burden fall on you and always stands by your side, ready to defend you.
One thing he won’t tolerate is anyone belittling your role as his spouse, whether it’s from your family or his. He respects your choices and ensures that you’re comfortable before engaging in anything personal.
Fingon never rushes you into anything uncomfortable and allows you to make decisions, trusting your judgment and revealing his vulnerability. He sees this as a hopeful approach to overcoming the arranged marriage label that hangs over your heads.
☆ . ࣪ ˖ ࿐ Turgon
Even if it were his father delivering the news that an arranged marriage was necessary to uphold the family name, Turgon was on the verge of overturning a table and vanishing before his father could reveal your name. However, Turgon knew he wouldn’t get far before being compelled to return home and address the situation.
It was the gloomiest atmosphere in recent memory when he was in the room, glaring at your presence as you entered with your family. The whole ordeal made him feel nauseous, especially when he observed how supportive his mother was in the matter.
Turgon didn’t speak or acknowledge your existence. If you were residing in your preexisting home, you both slept in separate quarters. He even made an effort to become familiar with your schedule to ensure you didn’t cross paths because he wanted to avoid giving the impression of any interest in making things work.
It felt like living alone with a brooding spectre who constantly muttered under his breath as though he was casting a spell. He was quick to anger and often directed his frustration at everyone around him, not just his and your parents. Congratulations, you were arranged to someone who unjustly blamed you.
Like his cousins, you had to assert yourself and demand respect, forcing your voice above his constant grumbling.
“Listen, I’ll make this clear just once, so don’t make me repeat myself. Stop blaming me and direct your frustrations at my parents and yours. We’re in this together whether we like it or not—so accept it and put an end to the complaining, just like I did. We’re going to make this work—we don’t have to share a bed or be best friends, but we should find common ground and understanding. I won’t accept ‘no’ as an answer, as it’s proven to be pointless, so stop whining and work with me!”
You earned his respect because no one had the audacity to confront him like that without fearing his explosive anger. From that day on, there was a subtle change in the household routine, like not avoiding your schedules and sharing the same space (excluding the bedroom).
Any attempts at conversation were initiated by you, and you had to strain your ears to catch his mumbled responses. When it came to public appearances, he was as stiff as a board and communicated sparingly.
However, it was his instinct to defend you and his family if anyone made disrespectful comments about your situation. That was something for him and you to contemplate, not for others to meddle in, so someone would be put in their place. That night, you saw the most emotion from him apart from his temper.
An incident like that brought you both a step closer to displaying your emotions and feelings, particularly your protectiveness toward him. As simple as it may seem, he wanted to know about your day and if anyone insulted you when you were out. It was a step in the growth of your relationship.
☆ . ࣪ ˖ ࿐ Argon
Argon is fucking bewildered and struggling to comprehend the situation because he’s still a young individual being informed of an arranged marriage he never wanted. He responds with profanity and loud protests until his father intervenes to calm him down.
He despises every moment of it, particularly when he recalls how his cousins and brothers were subjected to the same process. He can’t believe he’s in the same situation despite his strong desire to find love on his own. Even if you were present in the room, his anger blinds him to your concern.
For days to weeks, you two may not exchange words, with occasional glances and stares being the only form of communication. Even after the marriage, he only engages in minimal conversation, ensuring your well–being and comfort in the shared space, though his tone is often filled with bitterness.
Initially, your marriage feels like cohabitating with a mere housemate, as your interactions are limited to household chores. Meaningful conversations based on your interests are virtually non–existent. It would take significant time and effort before either of you musters the courage to address the awkward silence in the house, ideally during breakfast.
“May I speak? No, it’s not about breakfast; it’s about us. We’ve been living like roommates for months, hardly even acquaintances. All we do together is eat and do chores. I know you’re still upset about this arrangement—so am I—but I’d appreciate it if we could replace this white noise with something resembling friendship. We’re already living together, so we’re past the stage of being strangers.”
Argon is genuinely sorry to discover that you desire more meaningful interactions rather than distance, which he had assumed. Your first breakthrough occurs when you jest about his misinterpretation of your gestures, breaking the awkward silence with a touch of Argon’s playful nature.
Following in the footsteps of his eldest brother, he emulates his gestures in the hopes of fostering a deeper connection. Although his emotions make him eager and impulsive, he doesn’t want you to bear the blame for his dissatisfaction.
Eventually, a level of vulnerability emerges in your discussions, allowing both of you to overcome this significant turning point in your lives. More joy and laughter infuse the household as you both express your opinions, views on the situation, and expectations for the future. Given his youth and the wealth of advice he’s received on arranged marriages, he engages in meaningful conversations to ensure you share the same expectations.
He has no intention of subjecting you to the mistreatment that others might inflict on their spouses, placing trust in you and expecting the same in return. For the majority of your marriage, despite lingering awkwardness, you manage to build a friendship with someone who is open and respectful.
Masterlist
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#arranged marriage au#house of fingolfin#fingolfin#fingon#turgon#argon#fingolfin x reader#fingon x reader#turgon x reader#argon x reader#fingolfin headcanon#fingon headcanon#turgon headcanon#argon headcanon#silmarillion x reader#silmarillion imagine#silmarillion headcanons#middle earth x reader#middle earth imagine#middle earth headcanons#middle earth scenario#nolofinweans#fingolfin imagine#fingon imagine#turgon imagine#argon imagine#x reader angst#x reader insert#silmarillion#doodlepops writings ✨
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Entangled 2/10
The first question I'd like to ask you today is: Do you remember a little fic called The Best Day of My Life I wrote a while back? Don't worry, me neither ;) It simmered in my head and what started off as a standalone ficlet, grew into something bigger. Back then, it was written in the first-person narrative, but as it grew into a longer story in my head, I decided to change the subsequent chapters to the third-person perspective. This story was born from an inspiration I found when researching certain medieval traditions, especially when it comes to arranged marriages in royal families, and the role women played in these arrangements. It inspired me to wonder what it would look like in Dwarven societies of Middle Earth. I hope you enjoy it! Relationships: Thorin Oakenshield x Dwarf OFC (The Hobbit) Rating: G (subject to change) Warnings: ANGST Summary: Arranged marriages are common among the dwarven nobility. After reclaiming the Lonely Mountain, the Kingdom Under the Mountain needs to be rebuilt. Thorin agrees to marry a lady from the Blue Mountains, securing a mutually beneficial alliance with the Broadbeam Dwarves. Lady Mista is said to be a practical and hard-working dwarf-woman, willing to give him an heir who would secure the line of succession. A decent queen material, his advisors say. If only Thorin could let go of his past… You can find this fic on AO3 (search for lathalea). Special thanks for @legolasbadass for all your help and support 💙 ✨ Chapter list: Chapter 1 (Prologue) | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 ... ✨ Entangled Masterlist
Khuzdul: Azsâlul'abad - the Lonely Mountain (both the mountain and the dwarven kingdom known among Elves and Men as Erebor) Uzbad ra zabdûna undu ‘Urd - King and Queen Under the Mountain
TA 2942, one year after the Reclamation of Azsâlul'abad
“Your Majesty, My Lady, brothers and sisters in stone, we have all eagerly waited for this moment,” The High Priest’s sonorous voice rang out in the festively decorated Great Hall of the Lonely Mountain. “May the Pleating Ceremony commence!”
It was happening.
Mista swallowed. It felt as if the eyes of every single person present in the cavern were on her. As instructed earlier, Mista took off the veil that had covered her hair which was unbraided and adorned only with minuscule diamonds, and stepped stiffly towards the King. Her hands were clammy, and she tried not to stumble. The slippers and the opulent ceremonial gown she wore were incredibly uncomfortable and heavy. What a blunder it would be if she landed on the floor face down at that very moment! The court etiquette did not forbid her to wear her glasses, so at least she could see her surroundings clearly… including the crowds that gathered for the ceremony in the Great Hall.
Closing her eyes, she focused on her breathing, then something brushed against her temple. Mista flinched like a startled pony.
“No need to be alarmed, My Lady.” A low, rumbling murmur reached her ears. It was the King’s voice; she could have recognized his calm, confident manner everywhere. “Allow me to choose a suitable lock of your hair.” “By all means, Your Majesty,” Mista mumbled, feeling how close he stood to her, his arm brushing against hers, and how his fingers slowly ran through her hair. She did not know that a male touch could be so gentle. The only people allowed to touch her hair before this day were her mother, sister, and personal maid.
“Thank you, My Lady. Would you allow me to compliment you?” the King said and, not waiting for her reply, he added. “I do not think I have seen such exquisite hair before.”
“I… thank you, Your Majesty,” she whispered, attempting to calm herself. Did the King himself truly think her hair was exquisite? A realisation dawned upon her. Of course not; he must have referred to its uncommon length, that was all. It was the only source of Mista’s pride — perhaps the colour of her hair was plain and common, but she had always kept it long, and currently it reached almost to her knees. And now, the King’s nimble fingers ran through it, once, twice, and then began pleating her hair slowly, each of his movements deliberate. It was a surprisingly pleasant sensation, but even then, she did not dare to open her eyes especially when the tips of his fingers lightly brushed against her cheek, making her tremble at the sensation.
“It may help you to imagine that there is only you and me here.” His quiet voice reached her again.
“Pardon?” Mista’s breath hitched.
“During straining official functions I tend to imagine that there are only stone statues around me, carved in amusing poses. It helps to tackle the nerves.”
Mista’s eyes fluttered open and met the King’s azure gaze. An encouraging smile danced on his lips moments before he returned to braiding.
“I did not know someone like you could feel… nervous, Your Majesty,” she heard herself say.
“My coronation felt ten times worse than facing the enemy during the Battle of the Five Armies.” His reply made Mista chuckle. His smile widened, making his handsome face even more alluring. For a heartbeat, she forgot how to breathe, simply staring at him.
Click.
The King clasped his bead around her new braid. Gold encrusted with onyx contrasted with the plainness of her mousy hair, but the pattern made it somehow more refined. She took the braid into her hand and admired its even, elegant weaves.
“It is beautiful, Your Majesty,” she whispered.
The King gave her a thankful nod. Mista felt his intent gaze on her. His Durin’s apple bobbed. Something was not right… Why were his features so tense?
It took her a moment to understand. With her cheeks burning, she took a step towards him. How could she have forgotten that now it was her turn?
“May I…?” Her voice failed her, but no words were necessary. The King lowered his head towards her, his hair flowing freely in front of her eyes.
With trembling fingers, she picked a thick lock of hair on his left temple and divided it into four parts. His hair was smooth and thick, making her think of a wolf’s fur, but it smelled like sweet oils from faraway lands in the South. Mista wanted to keep on braiding it for as long as she could. She thanked Mahal that she knew her personal pattern by heart — otherwise, she would have surely entangled his hair or ended up with a bunch of knots instead of the braid. Focused on plaiting it, she forgot about everything around her — there was only the King, Thorin, the Dwarf who unknowingly captured her heart a long time ago. Now, with every weave, she was willingly bestowing her whole self upon him.
Her bead was made of bronze and tiny sapphires from the Blue Mountains. For some reason, it refused to close around the King’s braid, making Mista sigh, but then one of his large, warm hands encircled her fingers that held the bead, and pressed it harder together.
Click.
It was done.
Mista’s heart beat faster and faster as the King Under the Mountain took her hands into his. They were facing each other in a way that allowed everyone gathered in the Great Hall to see them from the side.
“Foreheads,” the High Priest whispered, barely moving his lips, holding something in his hands that glinted in the light of hundreds of lanterns.
The King squeezed her hands gently and lowered himself towards her once more. Mista took a deep breath and stood on her tiptoes so that their foreheads could meet.
His skin was pleasantly warm against hers, his nose brushed against hers, and she could feel the warmth of his breath on her face. Instinctively, she closed her eyes, but the last thing she saw were his lips, slightly parted, and so close, so very close to hers, and there was his beard too, and she wondered how it would feel if…
“What Mahal has joined over the marriage anvil, no power shall break apart until the end of days,” the High Priest exclaimed, his voice loud and clear, like the sound of a gunmetal bell, drowning all of her inappropriate thoughts.
“Thorin, son of Thrain, Mista, daughter of Milva, you are now husband and wife. Uzbad ra zabdûna undu ‘Urd!”
Loud cheers filled the spacious cavern as the white-bearded priest bound their hands together with a thin but unbreakable mithril chain — a symbol of the eternal bond they forged a moment ago. This was one of the most revered traditions of Mahal’s Children: Dwarves married only once. Mista read a treaty once that explained the origin of this ancient tradition: one of the oldest Dwarven legends said that each of the Seven Fathers of the Dwarves had one spouse, and that each couple was made from one piece of stone, destined to be always together, as one mind, body, and heart. A long time had passed since Mista was an overly romantic lass who believed that each Dwarf had their beloved Other Half somewhere in the world. Now she was over one hundred and thirty years old, and during her lifetime, she saw too many dalliances, clandestine affairs, and broken promises to believe that her people were capable of loving only once and only the right person. Dwarves were a fiery race, with molten lava running in their veins rather than cold pieces of rock. Nevertheless, their marriages were the cornerstones of society, crucially important to every family, and so a wedded couple was supposed to be like a rock: steady and unbreakable. That was Mahal’s will, as the priests said. Therefore, the dissolution of marriage was impossible. If a Dwarf broke their marital vows — which, as dishonourable as it was, happened from time to time — they would still remain married to their spouse. Even death did not end it, as her people believed that they would remain married even in the afterlife, in the Halls of Awaiting. That was why Dwarven courtship would often last many years so that the future spouses had ample time to know each other well before they made this irreversible decision.
Mista’s courtship lasted one month. That was how much time Lord Tair, her father, needed to finalise negotiations with the King Under the Mountain. During that time, she never saw her future husband. That was to be expected — the Blue Mountains were almost half a world away from King Thorin II’s kingdom, Azsâlul'abad. Instead, his envoys arrived with the marriage contract signed in his own hand and a chest filled with customary gifts for his future bride: jewellery, hair combs, and a traditional courtship cloak. There was also a letter addressed to her. It contained all the obligatory niceties along with His Majesty’s apology for his absence due to the fact that his kingdom was being rebuilt and needed all of his attention at the moment. He assured his bride, however, that he was looking forward to meeting her in person and offering her as much hospitality as he had received in Tumunzahar years ago.
He remembered.
Over one hundred years had passed, and he still remembered his visit to her home city. Precisely like Mista. She never forgot how gallant and handsome he was, how his words dried her tears, and how he made her feel as if she, the ugliest girl at the feast, were the only woman in the whole world.
Perhaps that mawkish idea of Dwarves finding their Other Halves was not true, but she was certain of one thing: she still loved the same Dwarf as she did all those years ago. Her heart belonged to Thorin Oakenshield.
And now she was his wife. Her eyes were still set on the glistening links of the mithril chain that joined her hands when she heard the High Priest’s words.
“My King, My Queen.” He bowed with reverence, “It is time for your wedding feast.”
The only thing she could think of at that very moment was how good her hand felt in her lord husband’s reassuring hold.
***
The feast that celebrated their nuptials was an event like no other. Mista had never seen any revelries that were full of equal splendour. Countless guests from all seven dwarven realms were entertained by minstrels, musicians, dancers, and other performers. The food was delicious; wine and other liquors flowed endlessly, like the River Running, and everyone was merry. Mista sat on a grand chair placed on the King’s right hand. Now, both of them wore their crowns and royal insignia, and together, as the newlywed ruling couple of the Kingdom Under the Mountain, they accepted countless toasts and congratulations from the well-wishers throughout the evening. Mista tried her best to act with decorum worthy of the queen she had become hours ago, and she even managed to appear unflustered whenever the customary “May Mahal bless your union with countless heirs!” reached her ears.
From time to time she managed to steal a glance at the King’s – her new husband’s – majestic profile, struggling to believe that this day was not a dream. But then she remembered the marriage braid hanging at her temple – and a similar braid in his hair. She truly was the great Thorin Oakenshield’s wife.
It was two bells after midnight when the weariness started to creep up on her.
“Is the feast to your liking, lady Mista?” the King turned to her, clearly noticing her attempt at stifling a yawn.
“Indeed it is! Forgive me, the celebrations took a toll on me, I’m afraid,” she explained, feeling the growing heaviness of her crown on her temples.
“It is perfectly understandable,” Princess Dis, the King’s sister, said. “It has been a long day. Perhaps it is time for you to repose.”
“May I…? Does the protocol allow it?” Mista took a hopeful look around the Great Hall where the feast was as lively as it was at its very beginning.
“May I remind you that now you are the Queen?” the King offered. “You may leave whenever you wish to do so.”
“And my brother will accompany you,” Princess Dis interjected, and then addressed the King. “Tonight you are only allowed to leave together.”
Mista caught a strange look they exchanged, and – after a noticeable pause – King Thorin said, “Very well.”
“Shall we, then?” He rose from his chair and held out his hand to Mista.
Leaving the Great Hall was not as easy a task as Mista expected. They had to endure another round of the official farewells, wedding toasts and felicitations from their numerous guests.
“Have a wonderful night!” Princess Dis exclaimed in a sing-song voice as they were stepping over the threshold.
“Aye, and a long one, too!” Dwalin, the King’s Captain, added, and they both laughed.
Their words sounded innocently enough for Mista at first, but they made the King clear his throat in visible embarrassment.
And then it dawned on Mista. One more thing awaited her.
The wedding night.
✨ Chapter list: Chapter 1 (Prologue) | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 ... ✨ Masterlist 💙💙💙 Read it? Like it? Spread the love and reblog it! 💙💙💙
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About the yassification of GO2.
Warning: the following text is highly critical of the second season of Good Omens. If you enjoyed it, I am happy for you, and a non-negligible amount of jealous as well. Please scroll past before I inevitably rain on your fandom parade.
So, I did the thing. I binged the entire second season of what was, up to now, my favorite show ever, in one sitting. And I have a great deal of things to say, but hardly any of them is positive.
Let me start by saying that I don't mind the cliffhanger or the melancholy ending, like at all. In our era of Marvel apologists and the instant gratification culture, it is necessary for media to persevere and add nuance to romantic relationships. That said, what transpired during the six hours leading up to this sort of unearned climax hardly contains anything remotely close to nuance.
Who are these people? I don't mean the new characters, all of them written as cardboard-cut anthropomorphic personifications of stereotypes, yassified to the point of representation losing its purpose and getting in the way of, you know, actual writing. I mean the protagonists themselves, Aziraphale and Crowley, up to now my favorite characters in the entire world and -up to now- tangled in a love story so beautiful I had, for better or for worse, devoted a large part of my creative output on it, making art, songs, and metas on why what those two entities had was as close to perfect as anyone can hope to find for themselves.
These are not the characters I knew. The characters I knew spent hundreds of human lifetimes revolving around each other in a treacherous yet familiar dance- they both knew the love was there, it was comfortable like an armchair that has taken the shape of the body using it for years. They argued the way old couples do, and of course, like all fictional beings that are counterparts of one another, had differences to settle, but what stood in their way wasn't misunderstanding or miscommunication, in was their fear of Heaven and Hell, and their fundamentally different approaches on how to keep each other safe.
What is all this teen angst? This will-they-won't-they silliness that lacks any nuance, thematic coherence, or literally even trace amounts of understanding of the source material? Where is the dark humor, the quotability, the chaotic overarching plot, the self conscious camp? The season is so cynically written to cater specifically to a certain part of fandom, that I am losing respect for the original work- because if Neil Gaiman doesn't care for these fictional beings, and he evidently doesn't, why should I?
The thematic core of what made Good Omens what it was, had always been the "Love in unexpected places" trope Sir Terry Pratchett knew how to write so well. It had never been about the fantasy, because Sir Terry wrote satire wrapped up in a supernatural package, it had never been about the romance, because when the ship becomes the end instead of the means, the love rings hollow, like artificial light trying to pass as sunshine. The beating heart of GO lies in its philosophy, in the beautiful notion that the agents of two oppressive systems at war have more in common with one another than with their respective oppressors. That being a nobody, a mere cog in a larger machine, says more about said machine than it does about you, and that you can try to break free and build a life for yourself, where a happy ending looks like a dinner at the Ritz with the one you love most.
Shoehorning an underdeveloped "romance" between Beelzebub and Gabriel not only feels like bad fanfic (disclaimer: I like the ship and feel like it could have worked if developed in any capacity, and presented in a more humorous and character-appropriate way. I hate with passion how much they watered down Beelzebub in order to make them stereotypically romanceable, adding the Ineffable Bureaucracy to the ever-expanding list of characters I don't care about anymore.) but also, it muddles and grossly undermines the thematic raison d'être of Ineffable Husbands. If the ramifications for defecting and fucking off with the enemy were a slap on the wrist for the respective leaders of both sides, well surely the system can't be that oppressive after all. And if fear of the oppressive system wasn't, after all, what kept these beings apart, surely these two entities don't like each other as much as we thought. Or rather, one is reduced to a lovesick puppy and the other to a brainless husk of a character, a plot device, a means to go from place A to place B without spending much brainpower on the logistics.
And if these two new people got to kiss I care not, for they are not the same people I rooted for (props, though, to the actors, who gave, somehow, an almost Shakespearean gravitas to their love affair, underwritten and dumbed down as it was. They both love the characters, and it shows in the minuscule yet brilliant ways in which they added nuance where the script had none.)
What was that thing with the lesbians about? Though straight passing, I have always known myself to be attracted to women as well as men, and I am always highly suspicious when an "ally" writer (see: straight, no shade to straight people among which I live because they are, like, the majority) decides to make all characters queer, in the face of real-world statistics and despite NOT being queer themselves. When a person like Nate Stevenson does it they get a pass because writers self-insert and because, when done well, it can carry a message of equality. But when the ally writer does it, unless it is pitch-perfect, I am forced to examine the possibility of them being calculating about it and trying to score representation points, often because they need the rep as a fig leaf to cry homophobia behind when people start complaining about the atrocious plot.
Nina and Maggie were boring. They had no personalities, no cohesive backstories, nothing to make us understand what they are to one another and to the overarching plot ("plot" is used loosely here, for there was no plot: the series ended where it should have started, with six hours of -progressively more offensive to my intelligence- fanfic tropes in a trenchcoat serving as the, well, "plot"). I didn't care whether or not they'd end up together, because I have no idea who they are. The blandness of the dialogue had the actresses, both very talented as evidenced in the first season, grasping at straws with what little characterization they were left to work with, and the "ball" was so unbelievably bad a plot device no amount of suspension of disbelief was ever going to make it right.
The minisodes, though at parts clever and philosophical, felt out of place. This was another narrative choice I had to raise my eyebrows at, because it felt like a bunch of executives sat around a table and watched Neil Gaiman's powerpoint presentation of what made Season 1 financially successful. They were shoehorned in, largely irrelevant to the, eh, "plot", and most of them lasted far more than I personally deemed welcome, or necessary.
What else is there to say? The wink-winks and nudge-nudges to the Tumblr nation? The in-your-face Doctor Who reference? The narratively myopic choice to make Crowley a former archangel? The cheese dialogue, not one bit of which was quotable?
I am distraught. I am grieving an old friend, and a part of my fandom life I cannot, in good faith, return back to after this gross betrayal. I am happy for those who don't see it, because I wish I could love this season past its flaws. However, the writing isn't simply mediocre, it is irrevocably, immeasurably, undescribably bad, so bad I am shocked to my very core, so bad I find it offensive to Sir Terry's memory and everything his own creative output was lovingly filled with.
I am passing all five stages of grief and very much doubt I will return to this fandom. I loved the original story and the characters with all my heart- now the aforementioned heart is broken, not by the breakup or anything as pedestrian as cheap romantic tropes. But because my old friends, my family of fictional beings, are no longer the ones I loved and could relate to.
Deppie out.
#good omens#good omens season 2#go2#good omens 2 spoilers#gos2 spoilers#good omens s2#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#good omens critical#good omens season 2 critical#neil gaiman#terry pratchett#good omens spoilers#michael sheen#david tennant
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Tornado Warnings
Idol Song Mingi x (F)Reader
Summary: She had to tell him one way or the other, but she didn't want him to take it any other way than it really was. Who was she confronting though, at the end of it all, herself, him, or their relationship?
Genre: Angst/Fluff
Word Count: 3.3k
Warnings: insecurities, depression, anxiety disorder
Est.Read Time: 25 min
Networks: @cromernet @k-labels
Ratings: nc-17
Banner: @cafekitsune
Song Rec: Tornado Warnings (Sabrina Carpenter)
Staring up at the ceiling she wondered if she should tell him or not. He had been sitting at his desk, hunched over, the expanse of his broad shoulders making it look extremely painful. Ever so often he'd mumble to himself, reading out a verse, shaking his head, and then scribbling it out, the room littered with paper balls. After an hour of collecting them and throwing them in the bin, she had given up and decided to read instead- that was 3 hours ago, and by now, the room looked like it belonged to a toddler.
Slamming his hand on the desk he groaned, the wood shivering under his large hand. He was frustrated, she could tell, and he could tell too, but he wasn't frustrated because of the lyrics- no that was just part of the frustration. He was frustrated because he wasn't able to pay attention to her today, spend time with her, or talk to her, even though he had invited her over today. They were supposed to be free today, which they were, which is why he called her but as soon as he saw her face he felt as if the world had stopped and his brain had begun to jumble words together for some coherency- it frustrated him how she was his source of inspiration, yet the subject of neglection.
"Mingi?" She finally decided to break the four-hour-long silence. Shit. She probably wanted to leave, she was probably tired of waiting for him, of course, she was, why wouldn't she be?
"Mingiiiiiii~" she whined, grabbing a pillow and tossing it at him, the soft material colliding with his head with an umf. Rubbing his head he turned around, staring at her, eyes filled with dread.
"Yeah- I- am almost done-"
"I want to go to a therapist."
"Sure-" he paused, confused, staring at her for a second, brows knitting together in confusion, why? Was he the reason? Did someone hurt her? Was there something she never told him-
"Mingi, if you keep making that face and zoning out, I'll beat you with a pillow."
Snorting at the threat he stood up, shaking his head before stretching his arms over his head, making him look even taller. Tilting her head up to meet his gaze she frowned, unsure if he was going to take this well or not, but the moment he jumped on the bed beside her, his action causing the whole bed to rock, a laugh wracked through her body.
He laid there on his side, facing her, head resting on his palm, elbow digging into the sheets, most of his legs dangling off the bed as he smiled at her, "Okay, no more intrusive thoughts or work, you have my full attention".
"Finally," muttering, she reached over to run her fingers through his brown, unkempt, spikes, "Look at this nest..." His eyes closed at the kind gesture, only to snap open at the latter statement, "It goes with the concept- does it not look good?"
"Of course it does."
"Then?"
"Just makes it harder for me to...." she trailed off, averting her gaze and pulling her hand back to her lap. Sitting up straight he frowned at her, reaching over to clasp her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze, "Love...what is it...you- we promised to always share right?" His voice was calm but she could sense the desperation in his words, slowly pulling her closer, both now sitting cross-legged on the bed, she was glad his bed was as big as him because even with his legs folded in and back pressed against the wall, he was taking a lot of space.
"I told- I mean, you know how I said that I kind of feel off these days?"
"Yeah?"
"I've been seeing this therapist and-"
"You're going to therapy? You didn't tell me? Is everything okay? Did something happen? Wait, you want to or are you going to one?" Brows knitted together he licked his lower lip, ready for more of his interrogation, why hadn't she told him? Did he have a role in this? What was the premise of the situation, were they going to be, okay?
Raising a hand gesturing him to stop and calm down, and for herself to do the same, taking a deep breath she exhaled and gained some form of composure. "I... okay, so, I only went once, free trial kind of thing, but then, she asked me a few questions I couldn't really answer, so I stopped- its been a week so yeah..."
Nodding in return he pursed his lips in thought before muttering, "What kind of questions?"
"Relationships..." He nodded at her short response, thinking for a moment before humming, "And...that makes you feel uncomfortable?"
It wasn't like she felt uncomfortable, in fact their relationship was one of the most important and joyous highlights of her life, but it was one that she was to keep to herself, at least for some time. It's not like she didn't know this before committing to this relationship.
"I- the thing is..." She began slowly, he could tell by looking at her expressions that she was choosing her words very carefully, "I just feel like I'll be lying, so it'll make the session pointless, on the other hand, I don't want to talk about us because what of it is leaked or something else..."
Nodding he thought to himself, humming as he leaned against the wall. He understood where she was coming from, on one hand, he knew how important it was to have a clear head, a cluttered mind often leads one to some form of depression. On the other hand, he wanted to be selfish and keep her all to himself, but letting her go...would make her happy, then the question is, did he love her enough to let her go?
He took a deep breath, pulling his hand away from her, choosing to cross his arms over his chest, as if he were holding down what was bubbling within him, and began his question, trying ever so hard to ensure his voice didn't betray him, "Do you...want to" only it did, turning into a faint whisper " ...you know?"
'"What?" Confused she looked at him before noticing the way his eyes had watered, connecting the dots, only to gasp and yell, "NO YOU IDIOT!"
Grabbing the closest object, she smacked him, over and over again, lucky for him it was a pillow, "WHY WOULD I WANT THAT?" she continued, hopping off the bed, after he had jumped off, to run from her.
"I DON'T KNOW?"
"MINGI! I JUST DON'T WANT TO LIE ABOUT YOU" She threw the pillow that hit the desk, things falling off, wells he had thrown it at him, but he had ducked out of the way, "YOU GENIUS, WHY WOULD I WANT TO LEAVE YOU!" She could feel the bottled-up emotions ready to blow, all the insecurities and second thoughts, the side comments and feelings fuzzing up, ready to spill, mixed with anger and sadness. To think that he would jump to such a conclusion so quickly. Was she not there for him enough? Did she not express her love enough? Or did he not feel the same way for her- in terms of depth and intensity, perhaps he was looking for a moment, a moment he could use to finally escape from her broken form, she was basically a whole package as it is, a burden he had to hide and conceal from the world- perhaps he was tired of keeping secrets too, only unlike her, maybe he wanted to completely let go, but who was she to say no to him, who was she to cling onto him?
"WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM? IT’S NOT LIKE YOU DISCUSSED THIS WITH ME BEFORE GOING TO ONE!" He yelled back, frowning at the mess, standing a good distance from her. Okay, perhaps he was upset, not only did she never mention the therapist before, but now he felt like maybe he was the problem. Though his voice had betrayed him, choosing to side with his bottled-up frustration, doing that one thing he had never wanted to do when it came to her, yell at her, to raise his voice and put the blame on her, even though he could clearly see her façade crack, yet here he was shoving it until it shattered.
For a moment she stared at him, quietly trying to arrange her thoughts, to understand her feelings, trying to deal with the turmoil, trying to compose herself, she knew she should have consulted with him before even getting an appointment but, perhaps she was not ready for the yelling. Letting out a frustrated sigh and closing his eyes, he rubbed his face, trying to calm down, to block out all the noise running around in his head. He didn't mean for it to get out of hand, especially not like this.
"I..." she began, only to sigh and shake her head, "Never mind, please forget I ever mentioned it." Walking over to the things that had fallen off his desk, picked up each item, and lined them up neatly against the wall. She could pretend this never happened, that therapy never happened, that her feelings getting the best of her never happened, the feeling of being choked by her own thoughts never happened- not because he had yelled at her, no, but because of the fear of losing him, she’d rather watch herself slowly crumble away than to lose him like this. A toxic trait, it really is, she could now see what the therapist had meant when she told her ‘You must love yourself first before being able to love someone else’, but how could she just let him go? When he had always been there for her, and for once when he couldn’t help her, what was she to do? Leave him- perhaps that would have been better for him, but maybe, just maybe, the jealous little insecure girl in her wanted to hold onto him as long as she could.
"Mingi?" his eyes snapped open at her soft tone, meeting her meek gaze she patted the bed, "Why don't you lie down for a while, I'll order something to eat-"
"Why are- " he corrected himself, "were, you seeing a therapist? " Cutting her off, he stood there on the same spot. Watching her sigh as she sat down on the place she had cleared for him, staring at her lap, "Because...I just...sometimes I feel things...Mingi and I can't understand them and it's like I'm being choked by my thoughts."
His gaze softened at the confession, sighing as he walked to her, taking a seat next to her, he pulled her into his side, arm wrapped around her shoulders, "I- do you feel like that because of me? Because of us- I mean I'd understand because we have to hide our relationship." his words were soft, but she could sense the desperation. Leaning onto him she shook her head, reaching for his free hand, as she began to play with his fingers.
"Never," whispered she clasping her smaller hand in his much larger one, "It was and will never be you- you, this relationship, us, this is the highlight of my life." A smile grew on his face at her words, pulling her closer, if that were even possible.
"But" she pulled away, much to his disappointment, “The thing is, if I lie in therapy, then I won't get a proper diagnosis" She paused staring up at him. Silently nodding he scrunched his nose, trying to push up his glasses without letting go of her hand. An extremely inefficient way, but he didn't want to ruin the moment, maintaining eye contact right now was vital. He knew when she looked up at him like that, she'd be hinting at him to process her words instead of reacting. The way her eyebrows were slightly raised, eyes wide, lips slightly parted, ready for her tongue to roll off the next list of words.
"But?"
Reaching with her free hand she slowly pushed his glasses up, sliding them up the tip of his nose to the bridge, "I don't want to lie about you, I can't pretend you don't exist. How can I say I am single? Forget our relationship for an hour I spend there, skip through the pages of our days spent together, like a chapter pulled out by the editor at the last moment." pulling her hand away she sighed, laying back down on this soft bedding, legs dangling off, arms folded above her tummy as she looked up at the ceiling- it would've been impossible to confess her insecurities and fears while looking right at him. The innocent face he'd make, pouting at her like a child, slowly processing her words.
"How do I lie about you in that office, then come back out pretending I never did such a thing, how do I get back to the rhythm without missing a step?"
Mingi let her pull away, knowing she needed a bit of space, he did do- more than often. So, he sat there, staring ahead, but his attention was solely on her words, patiently waiting for her.
"Even if I convince the doc you don't exist, does this mean I'll end up convincing myself that too- or worse, what if I end up convincing you that I- we, no longer exist."
She had no idea when she had begun to cry, not even a memory of when her vision had turned blurry, but a hand reached up to furiously wipe away the leaking emotions, the guilt that had begun to choke her soul, with a grip so tight and strong that it scared her.
"The worst part is, that you're not even the problem, you aren't the reason for my trip, but factors in my life I cannot control. My family, apparent friends, and this pressure- sometimes I just text you at night, knowing you're asleep, knowing you're tired, knowing you won't reply instantly- but you're like the light at the end of the tunnel, and I can't help but reach out for it when I'm being pulled back into my pit and-" she paused when she felt the bed shake, sitting up on her elbows she noticed his trembling shoulders.
"Min... are you okay?" sitting up, placing a hand on his shoulder, she gave it a light squeeze. "I just...the reason why I walked out was because she asked me if I had anyone around me, I could rely on with my eyes closed. And Mingi...I sat there, staring at her face like an idiot, how could I tell her, the person I blindly rely on is the goofy, giant, artist- I came to know about another idol whose doctor exposed him and well, I can't risk that, but I don't want you to have a partner that's not emotionally fit...you deserve the world Mingi, you deserve to be with someone who will love you as much as you love me, you have a big heart Mingi- I…I don’t I’m selfish, even though I know you deserve all that, I can’t let you go, and I’m not really sorry for that…I-" With a slight pause she pressed her forehead against his shoulder, trying to control it all, for the sake of it, for him, she whispered, “I can’t lose you.”
When she got no response from him, she moved closer, shaking him a bit, "Mingi?" she leaned closer only for him to turn away whining as he let out a choked, "Don't, Yunho says I look ugly when I cry."
She couldn't help but snort at that statement causing him to frown and turn to glare at her. Unfortunately, his red, puffy eyes and trembling lower lip made it too difficult for her to take him seriously as she gushed over him, "Awww don't cry -"
"You're an insufferable woman," he pushed her hands off as she wrestled to not move them, her laugh resonating across the room.
"What? you look cute!" she tried to pull him closer as his large palm pressed against her cheek, trying to push her away, "You’re a masochist, you can't say such things and then laugh! You do need mental help!" he half cried; half yelled in protest trying to not ruin his "cool" image any further.
Their little banter was interrupted by a knock on the door, followed by its opening a bit as a head poked in, "Hey, sorry to bother you, but are you guys okay-" Seonghwa paused at the sight before him.
With one hand she was pulling on the sleeve of his sweatshirt, while her other hand was gripping the leg of his track pants. His eyes scanned the other idiot, whose palm was squished against his girlfriend's face, fingers covering half the side as if he was trying to push her away, while his other hand, arm extended completely, was gripping onto the edge of the bed like he was trying to escape. He noticed their puffy eyes and tousled hair, but he was so confused.
Seonghwa had been asked by Yunho to go check on Mingi. He was in his room when he heard the younger one yell, followed by a few things falling on the ground. He knew Mingi well enough to know he wouldn't do something stupid, but he also knew that the idiot had no control over his tongue when he was emotional. However, this was not what he was expecting to see.
"uhh... never mind."
The door closed as the two exchanged a look and burst out laughing, Seonghwa who was on the other side of the door shook his head and walked away, leaving them be.
She was too busy laughing to realise when he wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight as she wheezed. Her face was buried in his neck, giggling against him. He let out a sigh, letting the silence envelop them both for a while, her body still pressed against his, arms not budging an inch, both of them lying on the soft bed. The sound of their calm breathing, mixed with the low buzz of the air conditioner had almost lulled her to sleep, his warmth wasn't helping her either. Just as her brain was about to slow down to neutral, she was violently shaken awake, "Excuse me, don't you sleep on me."
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU~" whining she pulled away only to almost fall off the bed until he pulled her closer. "I'm sorry for yelling at you." he smiled at her, when she placed a soft hand on his cheek, pinching it, "I'm not upset Mingi."
"You know Hongjoong is a great person to talk to" he suggested but stopped when he saw the face she was making, "what?" he asked, placing a limp arm on her waist.
"You realise he once advised me to put laxatives in your juice when you pranked me on my birthday."
"WHAT-" He gasped sitting up, "SO IT WAS HIM?"
"So, I think I should just stick to talking about my problems with you." she sighed, laying on her back and closing her eyes, "After a nap though- and you treat me with a nice meal, after ...that," she mumbled, feeling the fatigue left by the rush of various emotions. A few seconds had passed and she was almost asleep, her reflexes slowing down. She was almost asleep until she felt something soft press against her lips for a quick second before she was enveloped by extreme warmth, which could only be him pulling her closer, ignoring the problems and insecurities of the world for a few hours- just the two of them together, alone, peacefully happy in their dreams.
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