#i mean that derogatorily btw

[cacaitos]

i'm never changing my blog title bc i exactly didn't know what to put there and well it's just fitting to the way i see personal affairs.

it's been fun(? noticing the detached way i usually word my sentences like lol.

[pansexual-pied-piper]

Man, imagine if you made a post that mentions that your name is Karen and some people felt the need to comment shit like

"Uhm you may not be aware but 'Karen' is a word for an entitled older white woman, you can't call yourself that <3 please delete this <3"

"Ugh you're gonna make men think it's okay to call every woman Karen 🙄"

"Reminder not to call others 'Karen' without their permission <3 uwu"

"See? This is what we mean, we're just asking you to stop saying 'Karen' around us. Why would you want to be a Karen anyway?! Just be normal like me, I'm a Monica. It's your fault people are using 'Karen' as an insult btw. Also you make people become misogynistic by existing."

"Look I support your right to call yourself Karen, but surely you agree that non-Karens shouldn't get to call you by your name bc some people use it derogatorily, right?"

"Please tag your name as 'K-slur' so everyone knows it's a bad name <3 also kys"

"Don't call me K*ren!!!!!"

"wow how dare u make me read that name with my own two eyes what do you mean content filters exist"

That sure would be weird, right?

[morsobaby]

I really hate the fact that I still flinch/get on edge, even for a few seconds, whenever I hear someone (outside of familiar🏳️‍🌈 comfortable situations) call someone gay in finnish. Like this is not about identity policing, this is about the fact that our word for gay (" Homo") is still being used in the same manner as faggot, amongst teen boys. Ykno, not even always referring to any actual dating behavior, but just used as shorthand for dumbass/loser/annoying/wimp ect. "Oh well I didn't mean it in a derogatory way! It was just a joke!" then why'd you use it as an insult? What's the joke here? You wouldn't be using it in that way if you didn't mean to imply something negative. This isn't a case of queer friends being rowdy with each other, this is indirect homophobia. We do have a derogatory term for a gay person but that's just slightly too controversial to say in casual "joke" mocking. It's only used by actual older generation homophobes, or if you really wanna make it sting. You go white boy, assert dominance over your friend!

At least as far as I've experienced, it's so bad that most people outside of actual genuine gays, use the ENGLISH WORD GAY. Not our finnish word for it, they say "Gay". Bc people still use our word as a slur sometimes, you can never be 100% sure how they meant it. Imagine us not being able to use our own fucking language to describe ourselves. Fucked up world. Some are even considered "radical" or "edgy" gays if they openly use that on themselves or others without batting an eye

When my mom calls me over to like, look at a cute gay couple on TV or tell me about her queer friends, she says Gay, in English, in English pronunciation.

Same with lesbian. In finnish we'd say Lesbo/lespo but people more or less resort to switching momentarily into English to explain that this girl likes other girls. Additionally some lesbians I've known don't even wanna fucking say lesbian, they say gay, Finnish or english. Lesbian is also still used derogatorily so much so that it's not a comfortable word to use regularly like any other word. I also still flinch when someone refers to me as a lesbian. I've literally been insulted with that word, by family members too btw. They say "Lesbian!" as a comeback when I criticize their poor sensitive hetero lifestyle. Fucked up world. We use English instead bc it's a Trendy language, it's international and educated! It's socially correct!

In case anyone decides to come @ me on this: English is great for international usage and lots of Finns having a good understanding of it is helpful in interacting with foreigners or immigrants. As accessibility and education it's a good thing to have. And yea finnish doesn't have original terms for some of the others, like pansexual bisexual, nonbinary in some cases, or anything about the ace/aro spectrums (as far as I'm aware). Yea, we do have "Muunsukupuolinen" as a sort of descriptor for a nonbinary person but it's lengthy and I've honestly never heard people use it outside of formal settings where saying Nonbinary would sound too "pop culture" ish.

Oh yeah, also, saying "Trans" in finnish sounds really clumsy! It's just one letter away from our word for Tranny! ("Transu") If you don't wanna mouth out "transsukupuolinen", get inventive or resort to english pronunciation of the word!

*Slams my head on a desk multiple times*

[sanstropfremir]

orville peck released new stuff?? btw i was wondering why we didn't really get a fully colorful glitter cowboy in kpop as far as i remember... with all of the western adjecent styling it would make sense but maybe that would become to costumy them

hell fuckin yea we sure did anon!!!!

he also dropped a trailer for the full album which is gonna be released in april!!!!

as for why there hasn't really been a lot of spectacle country styling in kpop........well. it's pretty long answer that has to do with several factors like:

golden era country as a genre just isn't popular in the way that it would need to be to catch international attention

country music pretty dramatically changed post 9/11 and the pop country that gets media attention + play nowadays portrays a particular nationalistic message that is viewed uh......distastefully outside of the us. it's also pretty wrapped up in right wing rhetoric and while this is absolutely not true of the majority of the genre and definitely not true of golden era country, it all gets painted with the same brush; country's 'tacky' and 'only about trucks and beer and girls and conservatism' because that's what the image of country music has been to the general public for the last twenty years.

despite a lot of country music's themes being very universal, it's a folk genre, an intrinsically american one at that (i'm not going to get into too many semantics here but it's not totally specific to the us there is canadian country) and folk genres are visually rooted in personal and cultural experience. so a lot of the aesthetics that come with folk genres often will not hit with people who haven't lived that experience because they just don't understand what the markers mean.

the 2000s were super homophobic. like so homophobic. i don't know how to explain this to anyone who didn't experience it firsthand or is not from north america but men do not know how to dress here specifically because the 2000s were so homophobic. like we really made up a whole new word to politely (derogatorily) call men who knew how to do their hair and wear clothes that fit them well. yes it was that bad. and now combine that with my second point. so men wearing bright colours and rhinestones? definitely a no go. it's only now in the last few years that nudie suits have made a (semi) comeback in popular styling in the west which is i think, mostly thanks to lil nas x and post malone/his stylist cathy hahn (who, fun fact, has also done styling for orville peck. i love when things come full circle). but the reality is that the domestic environment just has not recovered enough for them to be popular internationally.

all that being said: there are still a couple of comebacks that have, in my opinion, done a pretty good job of integrating + synthesizing that golden era aesthetic. mx's fantasia, which i think everyone just forgot about? these two stages (it's the same outfits but one set in black and one in white) especially have a lot of the right shapes and ideas, and they also imo do a good job to capture the more casual/workwear aesthetic too. they then managed to do it again with rush hour, but with much more of a talladega nights bend, which is a pretty specific niche to pinpoint, but i thought it was great because it made my top styling list. and nobody is gonna like me for this but sticker maybe actually got it the best? the mv is really great and a lot of the stage styling is not exactly referential to country music in specific but is absolutely based in gaudied up old western (the genre, not the geographical area) aesthetics, which you can see here, here, here, and especially in these purple outfits.

tldr: i don't think people outside the us really understand what and where the 'country' aesthetic comes from and the prevailing us domestic disdain for the kitsch of the aesthetic and the genre as a whole means that it's not likely to get picked up directly by kpop stylists.

[spideyladman]

Got bored and decided to use a generator for my S/Is :P

Alec: Shh, here comes Allan! Al: Quick, Alex, start talking about boring nerd stuff! Alex: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word “nerd” derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist. Al: Yes, that’s perfect. Just like that.

Allan, watching Al & Alec panic : What's going on? Alex: Al is having a midlife crisis and Alec is just having a crisis.

Allan: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?? Alex: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔 Alec: Why were you microwaving a lemon??? Alex: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots. Al: Did you burn an orange too? How??? Alex: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

*In a horror movie situation* Alec: I've got no service in my phone here. Allan: Shoot, my battery just died. Al: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer. Alex: Guys, my phone is a book.

Alex: What do we think of Al? *pause* Allan: *sighs* Nice pal. Alec: I think they're gay.

Allan, setting down a card: Ace of spades. Alex, pulling out an Uno card: +4. Alec, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you! Al, trembling: What are we playing?!

Al: I haven't slept in seventy-three hours. Alec: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia. Allan: Bitch, it's been ninety for me. I'm going for an even one hundred. Alex: You guys are fucking terrifying.

Allan: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. Alec: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. Alex: A realist sees a freight train. Al: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

Al: You’re such a dumbass (affectionate). Alec: Aww, you’re such a whore (complimentary). Alex: How are you talking like that in real life? Alec: Witchcraft (derogatory).

Alec: *falls down the stairs* Alex: Are you okay? Al: Stop falling down the stairs! Allan: How’d the ground taste?

Alex: *Gasp* Allan: wHAT?? Alex: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish? Allan: *inhales* Alec, in another room with Al: Why can I hear screeching?

Alex: What’s up with Alec? They’ve been laying on the floor for like….an hour now? Allan: They're just a little overwhelmed. Alex: Why? Allan: Al smiled at them.

(Btw, this would be the first time Al smiled to her... In ever.)

Alex: Wake me up- Allan: Before you go go Alec: When September ends Al: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

Allan: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Al: Fucking Alec and Alex were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

Alex: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something! Al: You left me, Allan, and Alec in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago. Alex: I did that on purpose, try again.

Al: How late were you up last night? Alec & Allan, in tandem: Me? Al: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time. Al, to Alex: You.

[thevagueambition]

Danish Queer Vocab

Content warning for frank discussion of slurs with no censorship. 

Note that the Danish relationship to slurs is way more casual than the Anglophone one, particularly in the queer community. 

Also note that we use a lot of untranslated loanwords from English, and I’ll only note those if the meaning is different in some significant way.

LGBT+ Danmark also has a dictionary (in Danish) here.

Btw Danes, I’m curious if your view on any of these words differ from how I read them/would translate them.

Generally:

Springe ud [af skabet] / Komme ud [af skabet]: Come out [of the closet]. The former is technically the established phrase in Danish (lit. “jump out of the closet”), but young people often use the latter, Anglicised version.

Regnbuefamilie: Literally “rainbow family.” Families where one or more of the parents are part of the LGBTQ community, particularly when they reject the traditional nuclear family model.

Regnbuebarn: Child of a regnbuefamilie. 

Normkritik: Literally norm critique or criticism, a praxis where social and societal norms are questioned, often in the context of queer activists or feminists encouraging schools to be more normkritiske in their pedagogy (I suspect it comes from Swedish and is applied more broadly in the Swedish usage)

Queer: An academic or political term, as in queer theory, and sometimes used as an umbrella term for the community like in its English usage. Unlike in English, no negative usage exists and the term is not controversial.

Miljøet: In slang usage, the (gay/queer) scene in a given city. Note than “miljøet” usually means “the environment” in ordinary conversation, although “miljø” may be used in a similar way to describe other communities, e.g. “kunstnermiljøet” for artistic circles.

LGBT-miljøet: The LGBT community

Queer-miljøet: The Queer community

Gender vocab:

Fejlkønne / Miskønne: Misgender (I have personally only heard the former, but LGBT+ Danmark only list the latter)

Transkønnet: Transgender

Transkønnede: Transgender people

Transperson / Transpersoner: Trans person / Trans people, frequently the  umbrella term within the community (sometimes also includes transvestites)

Transmand: Trans man

Transkvinde: Trans woman

Ikke-binær / Non-binær: Non-binary

Interkønnet: Intersex (Danish does not have the “gender/sex” division)

Ciskønnet: Cisgender

Transvestit: Transvestite, crossdresser. Retains more of the older usage where a level of genderfluidity is often implied than the English equivalent does although is similarly falling out of use. Is not generally considered offensive unless misapplied to e.g. trans women.

hen/hen/hens: From Finnish “hän” through the Swedish usage as a neopronoun, originally in feminist writing but adopted by Swedish non-binary people, rare in Denmark.

de/dem/deres: They pronouns, often used by non-binary Danes, although not as often as the English counterpart is used in English. Not to be confused with De/Dem/Deres, which is the (mostly obsolete) formal you pronoun set (cf. french Vous).

Sexuality vocab:

Homoseksuel: Homosexual, gay. Unlike the English equivalent, this is always an adjective. Not considered offensive, but may come off as somewhat formal.

Homoseksuelle: Gay people

Homo (adjective or prefix): Gay in a neutral sense (see the next few entries)

Homobar: Gay bar

Homovielse: Gay marriage

Homofest: Literally “gay party”, usually a reference to a Pride event

Homosex: Gay sex

Homomiljøet: The gay community (or scene)

Homo (noun): Gay, homo, generally the former when used inside the community (”homoer” is comparable to “gays”) and the latter when used outside it, although even then it’s not as derogatory as I suspect the English counterpart is.

Samkønnet forhold / Samkønnet par: Same-sex relationship / Same-sex couple

Samkønnet sex: The more academic term for gay sex. Properly translates to sex between two people of the same gender.

Samkønsægteskab: Same-sex marriage (homovielser is more common, in my estimation)

Bøsse: Gay man, often used derogatorily among kids and teens (unless that’s changed in the last 5-10 years since I was around them), but usually neutral and the most common word for gay man, particularly within the community. Note that “bøsse” can also mean rifle or collection box — the sexual usage was originally a crude reference to a rifle being loaded or cleaned.

Bøssebar: Gay (male) bar

Bøssemiljøet: The gay male scene (or community)

Bøsserøv: Derogatory, lit. bøsse + arse

Bøssekarl: Derogatory, lit. bøsse + lad

Bøssesvin: Extremely derogatory, lit. bøsse + swine. In Danish, the worst slurs for various groups tend to compound words including svin.

Svans: Derogatory, feminine gay man. Comparable to “fairy” or “queen.”

Lesbisk: Lesbian

Lebbe: Lesbian, comparable to “lesbo.” Casual slang most of the time, occasionally derogatory.

Lebbebar: Lesbian bar

Betonlebbe: Masculine lesbian, lit. concrete + lebbe. Comparable to “stone butch” within the community or “dyke” when used derogatorily.

Bjørn: Bear

Biseksuel, panseksuel, aseksuel, osv.: Bisexual, pansexual, asexual, etc. 

Homoromantisk, biromantisk, panromantisk, aromantisk, osv: Homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, aromantic, etc

Homofil, bifil: Homophile, biphile, outdated words for homosexual and bisexual, coined to deemphasise the sexual aspect as part of the homophile movement in the 50s which was popular enough in Denmark that you’ll very occasionally hear these terms pop up. For the record, though, these are just the normal terms in Norwegian.

Hetero: Straight

Heteroer: Straight people

[pacificovertures]

When I call you Hal Prince, I do mean it derogatorily btw!! 😾/j

i literally do not know how to respond to this 😔

[constellations-and-energy]

Hey! So I seen your request about wanting to know what people would like to see. I also seen you know quite a bit about the LGBT community and I am an ally. I've noticed in recent months there are quite a few abbreviations I havent heard (most recent being 'ace') and I was wondering if you're willing to explain some of those abbreviations when mentioning them? I'm trying to keep up but I feel like I'm not understanding a lot because of this. Thanks love! (If you can't I totally understand)

Of course! I can do that for you in this post!

I got this list from this site

Btw, agender, aromantic, and asexual all fall under the category of “ace”! 

agender – adj. : a person with no (or very little) connection to the traditional system of gender, no personal alignment with the concepts of either man or woman, and/or someone who sees themselves as existing without gender. Sometimes called gender neutrois, gender neutral, or genderless.advocate – 1 noun : a person who actively works to end intolerance, educate others, and support social equity for a marginalized group. 2verb to actively support/plea in favor of a particular cause, the action of working to end intolerance, educate others, etc.

ally /“al-lie”/ – noun : a (typically straight and/or cisgender) person who supports and respects members of the LGBTQ community.  We consider people to be active allies who take action on in support and respect.

“Coming out” as an ally is when you reveal (or take an action that reveals) your support of the LGBTQ community. Being an active supporter can, at times, be stigmatizing, though it is not usually recognized, many allies go through a “coming out process” of their own.

androgyny/ous /“an-jrah-jun-ee”; “an-jrah-jun-uss”/ – adj. : 1 a gender expression that has elements of both masculinity and femininity; 2 occasionally used in place of “intersex” to describe a person with both female and male anatomy.

androsexual / androphilic – adj. : being primarily sexually, romantically and/or emotionally attracted to some men, males, and/or masculinity.

aromantic – adj. : experiencing little or no romantic attraction to others and/or has a lack of interest in romantic relationships/behavior. Aromanticism exists on a continuum from people who experience no romantic attraction or have any desire for romantic activities, to those who experience low levels, or romantic attraction only under specific conditions, and many of these different places on the continuum have their own identity labels (see demiromantic). Sometimes abbreviated to “aro” (pronounced like “arrow”).

asexual – adj. : experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest in sexual relationships/behavior.  Asexuality exists on a continuum from people who experience no sexual attraction or have any desire for sex, to those who experience low levels, or sexual attraction only under specific conditions, and many of these different places on the continuum have their own identity labels (see demisexual). Sometimes abbreviated to “ace.”

Asexuality is different from celibacy in that it is a sexual orientation whereas celibacy is an abstaining from a certain action.

Not all asexual people are aromantic.

bigender – adj. : a person who fluctuates between traditionally “woman” and “man” gender-based behavior and identities, identifying with both genders (and sometimes a third gender).

bicurious – adj. : a curiosity about having attraction to people of the same gender/sex (similar to questioning).

biological sex – noun : a medical term used to refer to the chromosomal, hormonal and anatomical characteristics that are used to classify an individual as female or male or intersex. Often referred to as simply “sex,” “physical sex,” “anatomical sex,” or specifically as “sex assigned at birth.”

Often seen as a binary but as there are many combinations of chromosomes, hormones, and primary/secondary sex characteristics, it’s more accurate to view this as a spectrum (which is more inclusive of intersex people as well as trans*-identified people).* – Is commonly conflated with gender.

biphobia – noun : a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, invisibility, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have or express towards bisexual individuals. Biphobia can come from and be seen within the LGBTQ community as well as straight society. Biphobic – adj. : a word used to describe an individual who harbors some elements of this range of negative attitudes towards bisexual people.

Example of bi-invisibility and bi-erasure would be the assumption that any man in a relationship with a woman is straight or anyone dating someone of the same gender means you’re gay. In neither case do we assume anyone could be bisexual.

Really important to recognize that many of our “stereotypes” of bisexual people – they’re overly sexual, greedy, it’s just a phase – have harmful and stigmatizing effects (and that gay, straight, and many other queer individuals harbor these beliefs too).

bisexual – adj. : 1 a person who is emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to males/men and females/women. 2 a person who is emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to people of their gender and another gender . This attraction does not have to be equally split or indicate a level of interest that is the same across the genders or sexes an individual may be attracted to.

Can simply be shortened to “bi.”

Many people who recognize the limitations of a binary understanding of gender may still use the word bisexual as their sexual orientation label, this is often because many people are familiar with the term bisexual (while less are familiar to the term pansexual).

butch – noun & adj. a person who identifies themselves as masculine, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. ‘Butch’ is sometimes used as a derogatory term for lesbians, but is also be claimed as an affirmative identity label.

cisgender /“siss-jendur”/ – adj. : a person whose gender identity and biological sex assigned at birth align (e.g., man and assigned male at birth). A simple way to think about it is if a person is not transgender, they are cisgender. The word cisgender can also be shortened to “cis.”

“Cis” is a latin prefix that means “on the same side [as]” or “on this side [of].”

cissexism – noun : behavior that grants preferential treatment to cisgender people, reinforces the idea that being cisgender is somehow better or more “right” than being transgender, and/or makes other genders invisible.

cisnormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals or in institutions, that everyone is cisgender, and that cisgender identities are superior to trans* identities or people. Leads to invisibility of non-cisgender identities.

closeted – adj. : an individual who is not open to themselves or others about their (queer) sexuality or gender identity. This may be by choice and/or for other reasons such as fear for one’s safety, peer or family rejection or disapproval and/or loss of housing, job, etc. Also known as being “in the closet.” When someone chooses to break this silence they “come out” of the closet. (See coming out)

coming Out – 1 the process by which one accepts and/or comes to identify one’s own sexuality or gender identity (to “come out” to oneself). 2 The process by which one shares one’s sexuality or gender identity with others (to “come out” to friends, etc.).

This is a continual, life-long process. Everyday, all the time, one has to evaluate and re-evaluate who they are comfortable coming out to, if it is safe, and what the consequences might be.

constellation – noun : a way to describe the arrangement or structure of a polyamorous relationship.  

cross-dresser – noun : someone who wears clothes of another gender/sex.

demiromantic – adj. : little or no capacity to experience romantic attraction until a strong sexual or emotional connection is formed with another individual, often within a sexual relationship.

demisexual – adj. : little or no capacity to experience sexual attraction until a strong romantic or emotional connection is formed with another individual, often within a romantic relationship.

down low – adj. : typically referring to men who identify as straight but who secretly have sex with men. Down low (or DL) originated in, and is most commonly used by communities of color.

drag king – noun : someone who performs masculinity theatrically.

drag queen – noun : someone who performs femininity theatrically.

dyke – noun : referring to a masculine presenting lesbian. While often used derogatorily, it can is adopted affirmatively by many lesbians (both more masculine and more feminine presenting lesbians  not necessarily masculine ones) as a positive self-identity term.

emotional attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in romantic intimate behavior (e.g., sharing, confiding, trusting, interdepending), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and/or spiritual attraction.

fag(got) – noun : derogatory term referring to a gay person, or someone perceived as queer. Occasionally used as an self-identifying affirming term by some gay men, at times in the shortened form ‘fag’.

feminine-of-center; masculine-of-center – adj. : a word that indicates a range of terms of gender identity and gender presentation for folks who present, understand themselves, and/or relate to others in a more feminine/masculine way, but don’t necessarily identify as women/men.  Feminine-of-center individuals may also identify as femme, submissive, transfeminine, etc.; masculine-of-center individuals may also often identify as butch, stud, aggressive, boi, transmasculine, etc.

feminine-presenting; masculine-presenting – adj. : a way to describe someone who expresses gender in a more feminine/masculine way. Often confused with feminine-of-center/masculine-of-center, which generally include a focus on identity as well as expression.

femme – (noun & adj) someone who identifies themselves as feminine, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. Often used to refer to a feminine-presenting queer woman.

fluid(ity) – adj. : generally with another term attached, like gender-fluid or fluid-sexuality, fluid(ity) describes an identity that may change or shift over time between or within the mix of the options available (e.g., man and woman, bi and straight).

FtM / F2M; MtF / M2F – abbreviation : female-to-male transgender or transsexual person; male-to-female transgender or transsexual person.

gay – adj. : : : 1 individuals who are primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the same sex and/or gender. More commonly used when referring to men who are attracted to other men, but can be applied to women as well. 2 An umbrella term used to refer to the queer community as a whole, or as an individual identity label for anyone who does not identify as heterosexual.

“Gay” is a word that’s had many different meanings throughout time. In the 12th century is meant “happy,” in the 17th century it was more commonly used to mean “immoral” (describing a loose and pleasure-seeking person), and by the 19th it meant a female prostitute (and a “gay man” was a guy who had sex with female prostitutes a lot). It wasn’t until the 20th century that it started to mean what it means today. Interesting, right?

gender binary – noun : the idea that there are only two genders and that every person is one of those two.

gender expression – noun : the external display of one’s gender, through a combination of dress, demeanor, social behavior, and other factors, generally made sense of on scales of masculinity and femininity. Also referred to as “gender presentation.”

gender fluid– adj. : : gender fluid is a gender identity best described as a dynamic mix of boy and girl. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel more man some days, and more woman other days.

gender identity – noun : the internal perception of an one’s gender, and how they label themselves, based on how much they align or don’t align with what they understand their options for gender to be. Common identity labels include man, woman, genderqueer, trans, and more. Often confused with biological sex, or sex assigned at birth.

gender neutrois – adj. : see agender.

gender non-conforming – adj. : 1 a gender expression descriptor that indicates a non-traditional gender presentation (masculine woman or feminine man) 2 a gender identity label that indicates a person who identifies outside of the gender binary. Often abbreviated as “GNC.”

gender normative / gender straight – adj. : someone whose gender presentation, whether by nature or by choice, aligns with society’s gender-based expectations.

genderqueer – adj. : a gender identity label often used by people who do not identify with the binary of man/woman; or as an umbrella term for many gender non-conforming or non-binary identities (e.g., agender, bigender, genderfluid).  

may combine aspects man and woman and other identities (bigender, pangender);

not having a gender or identifying with a gender (genderless, agender);

moving between genders (genderfluid);

third gender or other-gendered; includes those who do not place a name to their gender having an overlap of, or blurred lines between, gender identity and sexual and romantic orientation.

gender variant – adj. : someone who either by nature or by choice does not conform to gender-based expectations of society (e.g. transgender, transsexual, intersex, gender-queer, cross-dresser, etc).

gynesexual / gynephilic /“guy-nuh-seks-shu-uhl”/ – adj. : being primarily sexually, romantically and/or emotionally attracted to some woman, females, and/or femininity.

heteronormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals or in institutions, that everyone is heterosexual (e.g. asking a woman if she has a boyfriend) and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexualities. Leads to invisibility and stigmatizing of other sexualities. Heteronormativity also leads us to assume that only masculine men and feminine women are straight.

hermaphrodite – noun : an outdated medical term previously used to refer to someone who was born with some combination of typically-male and typically-female sex characteristics. It’s considered stigmatizing and inaccurate. See intersex.

heteronormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals and/or in institutions, that everyone is heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexualities. Leads to invisibility and stigmatizing of other sexualities: when learning a woman is married, asking her what her husband’s name is. Heteronormativity also leads us to assume that only masculine men and feminine women are straight.

heterosexism – noun : behavior that grants preferential treatment to heterosexual people, reinforces the idea that heterosexuality is somehow better or more “right” than queerness, and/or makes other sexualities invisible.

heterosexual – adj. : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex. Also known as straight.

homophobia – noun : an umbrella term for a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have towards members of LGBTQ community. The term can also connote a fear, disgust, or dislike of being perceived as LGBTQ. Homophobic – adj. : a word used to describe an individual who harbors some elements of this range of negative attitudes towards gay people.

The term can be extended to bisexual and transgender people as well; however, the terms biphobia and transphobia are used to emphasize the specific biases against individuals of bisexual and transgender communities.

May be experienced inwardly by someone who identifies as queer (internalized homophobia).

homosexual – adj. & noun : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the same sex/gender. This [medical] term is considered stigmatizing (particularly as a noun) due to its history as a category of mental illness, and is discouraged for common use (use gay or lesbian instead).

Until 1973 “Homosexuality” was classified as a mental disorder in the DSM Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. This is just one of the reasons that there are such heavy negative and clinical connotations with this term.

There was a study done prior to DADT (Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell) being revoked about peoples’ feelings towards open queer service members. When asked, “How do you feel about open gay and lesbian service members,” there was about 65% support (at the time).” When the question was changed to, “How do you feel about open homosexual service members,” the same demographic of people being asked – support drops over 20%. There are different connotations to the word homosexual than there are to gay/lesbian individuals for both straight and queer people.

intersex – adj. : term for a combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, and genitals that differs from the two expected patterns of male or female. Formerly known as hermaphrodite (or hermaphroditic), but these terms are now outdated and derogatory.

lesbian – noun & adj. women who have the capacity to be attracted romantically, erotically, and/or emotionally to some other women.

LGBTQ; GSM; DSG – abbreviations : shorthand or umbrella terms for all folks who have a non-normative (or queer) gender or sexuality, there are many different initialisms people prefer. LGBTQ is Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender and Queer and/or Questioning (sometimes people at a + at the end in an effort to be more inclusive); GSM is Gender and Sexual Minorities; DSG is Diverse Sexualities and Genders. Other options include the initialism GLBT or LGBT and the acronym QUILTBAG (Queer [or Questioning] Undecided Intersex Lesbian Trans* Bisexual Asexual [or Allied] and Gay [or Genderqueer]).

There is no “correct” initialism or acronym — what is preferred varies by person, region, and often evolves over time.

The efforts to represent more and more identities led to some folks describe the ever-lengthening initialism as “Alphabet Soup,” which was part of the impetus for GSM and DSG.

lipstick lesbian – noun : Usually refers to a lesbian with a feminine gender expression. Can be used in a positive or a derogatory way. Is sometimes also used to refer to a lesbian who is assumed to be (or passes for) straight.

metrosexual – adj. : a man with a strong aesthetic sense who spends more time, energy, or money on his appearance and grooming than is considered gender normative.

MSM / WSW – abbreviations : men who have sex with men or women who have sex with women, to distinguish sexual behaviors from sexual identities: because a man is straight, it doesn’t mean he’s not having sex with men. Often used in the field of HIV/Aids education, prevention, and treatment.

Mx. / “mix” or “schwa” / – an honorific (e.g. Mr., Ms., Mrs., etc.) that is gender neutral.  It is often the option of choice for folks who do not identify within the gender binary: Mx. Smith is a great teacher.

outing – verb : involuntary or unwanted disclosure of another person’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or intersex status.

pansexual – adj. : a person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions. Often shortened to “pan.”

passing – adj. & verb : 1 trans* people being accepted as, or able to “pass for,” a member of their self-identified gender identity (regardless of sex assigned at birth) without being identified as trans*. 2 An LGB/queer individual who is believed to be or perceived as straight.

Passing is a controversial term because it often is focusing on the person who is observing or interacting with the individual who is “passing” and puts the power/authority in observer rather than giving agency to the individual.

While some people are looking to “pass” or perhaps more accurately be accepted for the identity that they feel most aligns with who they are “passing” is not always a positive experience.

Some individuals experience a sense of erasure or a feeling of being invisible to their own community when they are perceived to be part of the dominant group.

PGPs – abbreviation : preferred gender pronouns. Often used during introductions, becoming more common in educational institutions. Many suggest removing the “preferred,” because it indicates flexibility and/or the power for the speaker to decide which pronouns to use for someone else.

polyamory / polyamorous – noun, adj. refers to the practice of, desire to, or orientation towards having ethically, honest, and consensual non-monogamous relationships (i.e. relationships that may include multiple partners).  This may include open relationships, polyfidelity (which involves more than two people being in romantic and/or sexual relationships which is not open to additional partners), amongst many other set-ups.

queer – adj. : used as an umbrella term to describe individuals who don’t identify as straight. Also used to describe people who have a non-normative gender identity, or as a political affiliation. Due to its historical use as a derogatory term, it is not embraced or used by all members of the LGBTQ community. The term “queer” can often be use interchangeably with LGBTQ (e.g., “queer folks” instead of “LGBTQ folks”).

If a person tells you they are not comfortable with you referring to them as queer, don’t. Always respect individual’s preferences when it comes to identity labels, particularly contentious ones (or ones with troubled histories) like this.

Use the word queer only if you are comfortable explaining to others what it means, because some people feel uncomfortable with the word, it is best to know/feel comfortable explaining why you choose to use it if someone inquires.

questioning – verb, adj. an individual who or time when someone is unsure about or exploring their own sexual orientation or gender identity.

QPOC / QTPOC – abbreviation : initialisms that stand for queer people of color and queer and/or trans people of color.

romantic attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in romantic intimate behavior (e.g., dating, relationships, marriage), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction.

same gender loving (SGL) – adj. : sometimes used by some members of the African-American or Black community to express an non-straight sexual orientation without relying on terms and symbols of European descent.

sex assigned at birth (SAAB) – abbreviation : a phrase used to intentionally recognize a person’s assigned sex (not gender identity). Sometimes called “designated sex at birth” (DSAB) or “sex coercively assigned at birth” (SCAB), or specifically used as “assigned male at birth” (AMAB) or “assigned female at birth” (AFAB): Jenny was assigned male at birth, but identifies as a woman.

sexual attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in physical intimate behavior (e.g., kissing, touching, intercourse), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with romantic attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction.

sexual orientation – noun : the type of sexual, romantic, emotional/spiritual attraction one has the capacity to feel for some others, generally labeled based on the gender relationship between the person and the people they are attracted to. Often confused with sexual preference.

sexual preference – noun : the types of sexual intercourse, stimulation, and gratification one likes to receive and participate in. Generally when this term is used, it is being mistakenly interchanged with “sexual orientation,” creating an illusion that one has a choice (or “preference”) in who they are attracted to.

sex reassignment surgery (SRS) – noun : used by some medical professionals to refer to a group of surgical options that alter a person’s biological sex. “Gender confirmation surgery” is considered by many to be a more affirming term. In most cases, one or multiple surgeries are required to achieve legal recognition of gender variance. Some refer to different surgical procedures as “top” surgery and “bottom” surgery to discuss what type of surgery they are having without having to be more explicit.

skoliosexual – adj. : being primarily sexually, romantically and/or emotionally attracted to some genderqueer, transgender, transsexual, and/or non-binary people.

spiritual attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in intimate behavior based on one’s experience with, interpretation of, or belief in the supernatural (e.g., religious teachings, messages from a deity), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and/or emotional attraction.

stealth – adj. : a trans person who is not “out” as trans, and is perceived by others as cisgender.

straight – adj. : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to people who are not their same sex/gender. A more colloquial term for the word heterosexual.

stud – noun : most commonly used to indicate a Black/African-American and/or Latina masculine lesbian/queer woman. Also known as ‘butch’ or ‘aggressive’.

third gender – noun : for a person who does not identify with either man or woman, but identifies with another gender. This gender category is used by societies that recognise three or more genders, both contemporary and historic, and is also a conceptual term meaning different things to different people who use it, as a way to move beyond the gender binary.

top surgery – noun : this term refers to surgery for the construction of a male-type chest or breast augmentation for a female-type chest.

trans* – adj. : An umbrella term covering a range of identities that transgress socially defined gender norms.  Trans with an asterisk is often used in written forms (not spoken) to indicate that you are referring to the larger group nature of the term, and specifically including non-binary identities, as well as transgender men (transmen) and transgender women (trans women).

transgender – adj. : A person who lives as a member of a gender other than that assigned at birth based on anatomical sex.

Because sexuality labels (e.g., gay, straight, bi) are generally based on the relationship between the person’s gender and the genders they are attracted to, trans* sexuality can be defined in a couple of ways. Some people may choose to self-identify as straight, gay, bi, lesbian, or pansexual (or others, using their gender identity as a basis), or they might describe their sexuality using other-focused terms like gynesexual, androsexual, or skoliosexual (see full list for definitions for these terms.

A trans* person can be straight, gay, bisexual, queer, or any other sexual orientation.

transition / transitioning – noun, verb this term is primarily used to refer to the process a trans* person undergoes when changing their bodily appearance either to be more congruent with the gender/sex they feel themselves to be and/or to be in harmony with their preferred gender expression.

transman; transwoman – noun : An identity label sometimes adopted by female-to-male transgender people or transsexuals to signify that they are men while still affirming their history as assigned female sex at birth. (sometimes referred to as transguy) 2 Identity label sometimes adopted by male-to-female transsexuals or transgender people to signify that they are women while still affirming their history as assigned male sex at birth.

transphobia – noun : the fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of trans* people, the trans* community, or gender ambiguity. Transphobia can be seen within the queer community, as well as in general society.  Transphobia is often manifested in violent and deadly means. While the exact numbers and percentages aren’t incredibly solid on this, it’s safe to say that trans* people are far more likely than their cisgender peers (including LGB people) to be the victims of violent crimes and murder. Transphobic – adj. : a word used to describe an individual who harbors some elements of this range of negative attitudes, thoughts, intents, towards trans* people.

transsexual – noun and adj. a person who identifies psychologically as a gender/sex other than the one to which they were assigned at birth. Transsexuals often wish to transform their bodies hormonally and surgically to match their inner sense of gender/sex.

transvestite – noun : a person who dresses as the binary opposite gender expression (“cross-dresses”) for any one of many reasons, including relaxation, fun, and sexual gratification (often called a “cross-dresser,” and should not be confused with transsexual).

two-spirit – noun : is an umbrella term traditionally used by Native American people to recognize individuals who possess qualities or fulfill roles of both genders.

ze / zir / “zee”, “zerr” or “zeer”/ – alternate pronouns that are gender neutral and preferred by some trans* people. They replace “he” and “she” and “his” and “hers” respectively. Alternatively some people who are not comfortable/do not embrace he/she use the plural pronoun “they/their” as a gender neutral singular pronoun.

[300iqprower]

No trope is problematic, only their execution. There’s a difference between how a trope is used and the trope itself. Even the most overused or reductive trope can be explored, deconstructed, or subverted in a constructive manner. The nature of a trope means that even something objectively negative can be positively used through at least one of those three approaches.

Relatedly, the fetishization of bisexuals (in the LGBT+ community or otherwise) being reportedly worse than of other such groups is likely not a result of community toxicity towards bisexuals in particular, but rather the way mass media relies in a single often derogatorily used trope to portray bisexuality due to the more passive approach to characterizing such a trait (compared to aro/ace, straight, or gay) being too subtle a process to show rather than tell for most writers to be allowed to properly portray it in an industry largely obsessed with taking a sledgehammer to both subtlety and nuance. The result is a mass portrayal of bisexuality as simply being shorthand for lacking standards, to the point there is a subset of such a trope [Anything that Moves] SPECIFICALLY for bisexuals [Depraved Bisexual]. This for obvious reasons invites fetishizing. The latter trope also has a precedent, the Depraved Homosexual trope for men and Psycho Lesbian trope for women, both of which have largely been phased out due to EXTREMELY negative connotations that make it near universally better off to just avoid invoking it rather than finding a way to implement it that isn’t reductive. I stand by what I said at the start, btw, and in fact have experimented with the Depraved Bisexual trope in my own work, but it should go without saying that some tropes are harder to properly execute than others.

Thank you for coming to my rambl- I mean Ted Talk

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

So let me tell you about my Star Wars mary sue.

I had a lot of mary sues while growing up. (I don’t use the term derogatorily, btw, but as defined by the late great Kielle at her Mary Sue Appreciation Society, a wish-fulfillment original character, often created by teenage girls, who makes her creator happy. For more discussion, please see here.) I had a whole host of Doctor Who mary sues (2 quite detailed, 2 rather undeveloped, and other background OCs), several Marvel/X-Men sues (years of worldbuilding there), and others. (No Star Trek, surprisingly... or maybe not so surprisingly.) Though mostly these stories were never actually written down -- while my head-fantasies were very detailed, with dialogue and scene-setting and such, often the only thing that ever hit paper was drawings of characters and scenes. Pretty good ones, imo. :)

As for my Star Wars original character...

I, like many fans I’m sure, imagined a Star Wars sequel. And like many fans I’m sure, my characters included Han and Leia’s Jedi-powered twins. This was when I was a young teen, btw... about 1986-1989 or so, just so you know. Before the Expanded Universe, before the video games, before the prequels, before any additional Star Wars stories besides the original trilogy, the Ewok tv movies, and Splinter of the Mind’s Eye. (I now know there were Marvel comics telling original Star Wars stories in the 80s, but I had no idea at the time.) Note I was very put out when the Thrawn trilogy came out in 1991, because twins were my idea. I had an unreasonable grudge against the EU for ages, because they did it wrong. I got over it eventually, but still, the EU was never something I was very interested in.

Anyway, I never developed the boy twin very much (more on that later), but the girl, Ana Solo... she was my favorite, for a while. Light brown hair (in a pageboy cut to start, later grown out to a ponytail), blue eyes. She was named for Han’s mom (technically), and for some reason she wasn’t Force-trained... reasons varied from her being latent, her Force-sensitivity hidden, or H&L refusing to have her trained because of reasons... the story changed over time.

But in the most final form, the story began when 16-year-old Ana was practicing gymnastics, flying through the air through a web of bars on the starship that was her home (not trained, but still capable of amazing flips and stuff because mary sue). When she landed, she got into some argument with C-3PO (about what, I don’t remember? something about her parents being away and not caring/being too overprotective probably), and in her rage accidentally blasted him with Force lightning... and in fear of herself and for what she might to do others, she ran away...

On her ship (she’s a great pilot, because Skywalker), Ana started talking to herself... but actually, no, it was to the Force ghost of Anakin Skywalker who appeared to her. (Looking like the nice old guy from the end of the original ROTJ, not Hayden Christensen.) As the story shifted, it varied when he first appeared to her -- sometimes he’d been her “invisible friend” since childhood (though never explaining who he was), sometimes he didn’t actually appear until near the end of her quest (more on that in a sec), but generally this was the first time. And he’d reassure her that she wasn’t bad, but if she wanted to avoid the temptations of the Dark Side, she needed training, she needed to find Luke.

But for some reason Ana was instead drawn on a quest, something she didn’t understand, something she needed to do. She went to Cloud City and found Luke’s old blue lightsaber... and then to Endor and found the remains of Darth Vader’s... and put the crystals from both together to make a purple lightsaber. Because mary sue. Oh, I mean, it was deeply significant, recovering the legacy of Anakin Skywalker and so on, but also purple. (And yeah I did lightsaber crystals before KOTOR and Clone Wars did -- though to be fair, they got the idea from the same place I did, the Kaiburr crystal from Splinter of the Mind’s Eye, which came from an early draft of Star Wars.)

So in the end, Ana appeared out of a sand storm on Tatooine, wearing an ivory surplice and leggings and boots and mask (which looked very stomtrooper-y), Luke’s old lightsaber at her belt, before the eyes of her astonished uncle and brother...

(I had a drawing of this scene, it’s long-gone now, but it was great. Had a drawing of her gym scene too, and also by the remains of Vader’s pyre on Endor. Sigh.)

Oh, re Ana’s brother, he was very undeveloped, at this point I’m not even sure I ever decided on his name. (I think I once used Ben before deciding against it, lol.) He had dark hair and dark eyes, that I do recall. But I think a major reason for him not being a developed character is that he just wasn’t in the parts of the story I’d worked on. While in most variations of the story he was being trained by Luke when Ana arrived, in some versions he’d been kidnapped as a baby, leading to H&L’s overprotectiveness of their remaining child. And while Ana was tempted by the Dark Side, he was the one who would actually fall, leading eventually to a confrontation between the twins. He wouldn’t die, though, he’d be saved. Though I don’t remember how, I just knew I wanted to have a happy ending. Probably there was something about the power of family love or something, like ROTJ.

Also there was no romance in the story, at the time I was writing it I didn’t really do romance. (When romantic elements even existed in my stories at the time, they were always very chaste.) I eventually decided I needed to have some unrelated male character for Ana to play off of for romantic intrigue (if anyone it might have been Lando’s son, showing up when she’s on Cloud City, but IIRC I thought a non-Force-using scoundrel-type might have been too Freudian), but by that point I’d really moved on to other head-stories and other mary sues. And I’m afraid I never really worldbuilt the future Star Wars universe very much (there were bad people out there, Han and Leia were deeply involved in the new government, Luke taught Jedi students, that’s about it).

But still. There are reasons I spent quite a bit of watching TFA with a deep sense of deja vu. I was mature enough to not get unfairly mad this time (it’s Star Wars, if I could think of these tropes of course other fans could). But still. :)

(btw, no Last Jedi spoilers please, not even hints or reactions. I’m seeing it tonight, if you have something you want to tell or ask me you can wait a few hours tyvm.)

[bobarodent]

once again drowning in the sins of my ancestors wednesdays amirite