#i mean shit i got into sleeping dogs after watching about an hour of a yogscast member playing it haha

[sevenmothz]

The review embargo got lifted for Veilguard and, predictably, it’s a whole damn mess lmao.

You got people with legitimate complaints, people that were gonna hate the game no matter what because Reasons(TM) (also known as “It’s not Origins” lmao), grifters and tourists that are just fanning the flames because they’re so miserable that they can’t let anyone else be happy, people that enjoyed the game (and getting hate for it—or being called a shill/sellout), and fans being overly positive in reaction to the louder end of the anti-woke morons.

Anyway, friendly reminder that all reviews are just opinions from a variety of different people with their own biases, experiences, and perspectives. Ultimately, they don’t really matter bahaha. If you’re on the fence, just wait for gameplay videos to come out (no commentary ones are best) and see if it’s something you’re invested in or not.

[familyvideostevie]

all of it still matters

joel miller x fem!reader | 2.4k

you get sick and, much to joel's chagrin, refuse to take it easy.

jackson!joel, fem!reader, fluff, fainting, ellie and her dog that i invented for some reason, kind of plotless but who cares! it's all about love in the end, anyway.

a/n: welcome back to our lovebirds from just and just as. be gentle, please. it's been a while.

--

The sky is a brilliant orange. Golden hour, they used to call it.

It's probably a little too cold to be sitting on the front porch but you can't help it on an evening like this. You tug a fraying flannel of Joel's tighter around your shoulders. It's worn at the elbows and he reminds you that he'll fix it if you release it from your clutches but somehow that never happens. The journal he made you is open on your lap, almost full. You've taken care to write down not only your memories but the stories he and Tommy tell about their lives before, the day-to-day of Jackson, the jokes Ellie is particularly proud of. She recently recounted a birthday trip to a museum, laughing as she told you about pushing Joel into the water.

You take a sip of your pine tea. It's chilly through the whole day, now, and soon the morning frost will be snow. Winter was hard for a long, long time, but now it's comfortable. It means lights up in town, children throwing snowballs, community meals and dances. It means warm nights under your blankets with the furnace of a man you sleep next to, soft salve on chapped hands, a slowing down of the Infected sightings.

And it means Joel chopping wood. He should be doing it in the back yard -- usually does -- but this evening he's finishing up the trunk pieces Jesse left by the steps. A big tree had gone down at the edge of the town clearing and everyone got a few pieces once they'd split it up. Joel will no doubt give Ellie at least half of what he cuts.

The benefit of him doing it out front is you get to watch. His back is to you, but you can see the way his sleeves are rolled up, the damp hair curling over the collar. The exhale when he brings the axe down, the flex of his shoulder blades when he tugs it free of the stump. You could watch him do anything.

As if hearing your train of thought, Joel wedges the axe in the chopping block and turns to face you. He runs a hand through his hair, silver strands catching the orange light, and huffs.

"Enjoyin' yourself?" he says.

You grin at him. "I'd say so."

Two things happen at once. A headache blooms without warning at your temple, sharp enough that you wince and press your fingertips to the skin there. Joel notices and takes a step towards you but then a dog barks and his attention is drawn down the street.

"Naledi!" Ellie yells, jogging up the street after her dog. "Come on, we've talked about this!"

Joel glances back at you but you smile at him, ignoring the blooming pain in your skull. Naledi -- named after one of those characters from Ellie's comics -- runs right up to Joel and noses at his knee until he pets her. The animal loves him. You don't blame her.

"Jesus," Ellie says once she reaches the steps up to the house, panting. "She can run." She looks at the yard and scowls. "Aw, shit, Joel. Did you finish all the wood?"

Joel, one hand scratching behind Naledi's ears, levels her with an unimpressed look.

"Ain't gonna chop itself," he drawls. "Last thing we need is you holdin' an axe."

"Rude," she gasps. "You steal my dog and make fun of me. Are you hearing this?"

Ellie looks at you in mock outrage, cheeks pink from the cold. She's not a teenager anymore, but falls back into it so easily when Joel teases her. It's a treat to witness.

"I don't know, Joel, you've seen her --" You stand in the middle of your sentence and the words stop coming because your vision swims. Black spots dance across the yard and you pitch forward to brace yourself on the railing.

"Oh, fuck," Ellie says. Joel is up the porch and next to you in a blink, arm around your waist to steady you.

"You okay?" he asks, low and serious.

The spots disappear and you take some deep breaths. "I -- stood up too fast, I think."

Joel remains in your space for a few more seconds. Naledi barks, watching the whole thing with a tilted head from the grass below.

"Ellie," Joel says. "You wanna finish up the wood? I think we're gonna go inside."

"Totally," she replies. "Yeah, uh, go lie down, or something. We've got this."

Joel ushers you into the house and sits you down in the kitchen. The sun no longer peaks over the mountains so he flicks on the overhead lights, which make you groan. He's back by your side immediately, tipping your head up with a knuckle on your chin so he can look at you.

"Think you might've caught somethin'," he says. "Bout that time of year." He presses the back of his hand to your forehead and frowns.

You circle his wrist and tug his hand down. "Just tired," you say. "The overnight patrol is catching up with me."

"Hmm." Joel leaves you be and starts to fix you something to eat. You know better than to argue and, frankly, you don't have the energy to make something yourself. He sets some buttered toast in front of you and leans on the island to watch you take a small bite.

"Something to say?" you manage through a mouthful of bread.

He shrugs. "You should go to bed early." It's barely sunset but it sounds like a good idea. "You going to be okay to work tomorrow?"

Your shift at the stables with Ellie. Pretty easy, as far as labor goes. A good night's sleep should make it bearable. "Yeah, it's just mucking stalls."

"Hmm," he says again. You know what that means -- he's thinking, he's decided, he's preparing, but he'll let you reach the same conclusion in your own time. He won't force you into anything, never does, but he most certainly has an opinion.

You change the subject. "Did you grab my journal?" Joel nods and pulls it from his back pocket to set on the table next to your toast. You take another bite to appease him.

"Almost done with that thing," he says. "Gonna need another one."

"If only I knew someone who made them," you tease. That gets a gruff laugh out of him.

"What you writin' about today?"

"You, Tommy, and motorcycles." Tommy had told you all about the famed birthday ride at the last family dinner. Everyone had heard the story but you, so their voices overlapped about a hundred times as they fought to be the one to explain.

Joel chuckles. "You ever been on one?"

You take one more bite of your toast and push the plate away. He's on it in a second, taking it over to the sink.

"No," you reply. "I don't even know the last time I saw a working one. Just stripped metal out in the wild."

"Think you'd like it," he says. "Good way to see things. Bit of an adrenaline rush."

"Yeah, because there's a shortage of that these days."

The joke falls flat and your eyelids start to droop so you don't see Joel's reaction anyway. Your head throbs.

"Bed," Joel says, softly. Hands on your shoulders, rubbing up and down your arms. "C'mon."

He ushers you up, hand on your back on the staircase. He waits while you brush your teeth and helps you into an old shirt and threadbare pants with a gentle touch.

When you're settled under the covers he perches on the edge of the bed and lays his hand on your forehead once again. A frown makes its way back onto his face and he checks your cheeks, your neck.

"I'm just tired, Joel," you mumble. "It's alright."

"Hmm." He kisses the inside of your wrist lightly and stands. "Gonna go check on Ellie, alright? I'll be back soon."

You fight to keep your eyes open and fail.

__

You feel like shit in the morning. Your head is pounding, your body aching. But you've had worse -- you've had broken bones and bruised ribs. You've been sick, you've been tired, you've been scared. This is nothing compared to life and death. You can muck a few stalls with a headache.

Joel isn't here -- a note on the counter says he got called to fix someone's sink and that he thinks you should stay home. You ignore it and head to the stables, taking deep breaths and walking slow.

Ellie shows up not long after you arrive and finds you leaning on your pitchfork in one of the stalls. Your stomach is churning but you're upright, still.

"You look like shit," she says.

"Thanks, kid," you grumble. "Where's your dog?"

"Dina's taking her on the trails today." They've been training Naledi to smell and track Infected.

You sway a little and make some noise of assent.

"Dude, are you sure you should be here today?"

If you leave now, she'll have to do the stalls herself. "I -- let me do a few more. I'm fine. It's alright."

She gives you a look she almost certainly learned from Joel but doesn't argue.

You are fine...for a little while. Ellie seems content to let you work in silence but you feel her eyes on you as you shovel shit and old hay. Just one more, you tell yourself. Then you'll go home and lie down. One more turns into two turns into three until you're scooping a big pile of straw and the spots dance across your vision again.

"Oh," you say with a gasp, and reach out for the wall, for something, anything to lean on. But your hand finds only air and then you're tipping, tipping, and you hear Ellie's Oh shit! and then --

Nothing.

No, I caught her before her head hit the ground. Are you on your back? Wait til she wakes to move her. Sounds like Esther. God, it smells like shit in here. Someone's hand on your forehead. He's coming --

You blink a few times and the roof of the barn comes into view. A groan makes its way up your throat without permission.

"Fuck," you say. "What --"

"Jesus," Ellie exhales. She's on her knees on one side of you, tugging at her fingers. "God, why did you come to work today?"

"I--"

"Where is she?" Joel's voice echoes through the barn and you try to get up on your elbows when you see him. The sudden movement makes your head pound again and hands on your shoulders help steady you. You're blinking into Joel's face, his creased brow and frown deepening as he kneels next to you.

A warm, weathered palm cups your cheek and his gaze catalogs the scene. He does this a lot -- takes in as many details as he can and makes a quick choice on how to proceed. It's a well-honed ability, one that's kept him alive this long. It's kept you and Ellie alive, and countless others in his company, too. Knowing how bad something is, and whether or not you can fix it.

He huffs, some of the tension melting from his face. "Just tired my ass," he mutters. "How're you feelin'?"

"Guess I fainted," you say weakly.

Ellie snorts. "No shit."

"Guess so," Joel echoes. "You wanna get up?" You nod. He does most of the work, arm around your waist as you stand and sway and end up tucked into his side.

"Surprised your knees work this well," you mutter. He makes a low noise in his throat and squeezes your side but otherwise ignores you.

"Think we're gonna go home, if that's alright," he says. You realize the crowd is a little bigger than you thought. Ellie, Esther, and some of the younger boys who work the horses stand nearby. Your head pounds too much for you to be properly embarrassed. You'll have to thank Ellie later for keeping an eye on you but for now, you let Joel lead you out of the stables without waiting for a reply.

Joel walks you home slowly.

"Did someone come get you?" you murmur. He nods.

"Kid said you fainted," he says. "I see you ignored my suggestion this mornin'."

"Yeah, but if I stayed in bed you wouldn't get to be a knight in shining armor."

There is a small voice in the back of your head that reminds you how bad it can be to be sick in this world. You've all seen it -- sickness takes a few people every year, a handful in bad ones. This is probably just the flu. You know that and Joel knows that. And even that can be dangerous, but you're here with the one man in the world who could defeat pretty much anything. Joel, who will keep you safe, who will see you through it. You really, truly believe that. And you want him to believe it, too.

"How polite of you," he says.

Your boot catches on the ground and you stumble a little. Joel slows you to a stop.

"I'm fine," you remind him. "Just sick, I guess." He huffs but you start walking again. "You really looked worried back there, you know."

"Yeah, well." You reach the stairs up to your house. He tightens his hold on you, practically taking all of your weight as you go up them one at a time. "Was worried you fell into some horse shit. Smell up the whole damn house."

That gets a laugh out of you. He gets you up the porch, across the threshold.

"You gonna listen to me this time?" he asks, sitting you down on the entryway bench. "Stay home, rest up?"

"I'll think about it," you sigh. "You gonna take care of me, Dr. Miller?"

He kneels in front of you to take off your boots and smirks. How many times have you done this? Peeling off each other's boots after a long day. When one of you is sick, when one of you is hurt. Your head is pounding and you almost certainly have a fever but Joel's gentle hands and familiar smirk sets you at ease. You're going to be doing this forever.

"C'mon," he says. "You know I'll take care of you."

He tucks your boots under the bench and puts his palms on your thighs. You lean forward to kiss him and miss by a mile, lips landing at the corner of his mouth.

"My head hurts," you say against his cheek. "I love you."

Joel sighs. "I know, baby," he murmurs. "I got you."

He does.

[yizmiu]

i’m not sure if you do requests but i was wondering if i could request enhypen boyfriend sunghoon fic where sunghoon goes from not caring at all for cats to becoming the proudest cat dad you could ever imagine when his girlfriend brings home a cat out of no where.

ི꒰͡ ໋. kitty-incident!

𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ ‎inwhich. sunghoon doesn’t understand his girlfriends love for cats but after she suddenly brought one home he’s kind of forced too…

𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ ‎࣪genre. fluff, sunghoon x f!reader, dog person sunghoon, cat person reader

𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ ‎word count. 1k+

ᯇ ೀ jayjay’s note; hiii so sorry for the long wait, i was having trouble finding out on how i should write this! it’s a mix of smau and a drabble!

Sunghoon sighed, staring at the little kitten on the floor next to his feet. Y/n, his girlfriend had impulsively bought the kitten home from a shelter without even telling him she was doing so. It’s not like Sunghoon hated cats, he was just more of a dog person.

Now, he was just told he had to watch the kitten for a couple hours. “You’re cute, but I’m still mad at you for scratching our couches. I can’t believe your mom just showed up with you and didn’t tell me.” Sunghoon glared at the cat as he spoke.

The kitten, named Yureum (chosen by the both of them) could sense Sunghoon’s passive aggressive energy from the day he entered the house. Since then he’s been acting like a little asshole to him, tearing up the furniture, knocking down Sunghoon’s things, and walking over the keyboard while he was trying to work.

Sunghoon rarely pet his ‘child’ because Yureum always made sure to nip and scratch at him out of spite. So when he suddenly started purring and rubbing against Sunghoon’s leg he was surprised.

Sunghoon figured he needed more attention, and he started to feel bad so he shut his laptop, taking a break from his work to sit on the couch with Yureum following behind.

“C’mon” Sunghoon said as he picked the kitten up with both hands, placing him on his lap. “You’re so cute, if only you weren’t a little jerk to me.” Sunghoon sighed as he gently caressed him.

Sunghoon yawned as he placed Yureum next to his head as he laid down, getting sleepy. “I’m gonna take a little nap, your mom should be home in 15 minutes.” He said as his voice started to slur.

Yureum stared at the sleeping figure in front of him for a little, a little tired himself so he snuggled up against his owner. Fitting perfectly in the gap between his chest and arms.

Sunghoon heard flashes and clicks as he began to wake up from his sleep, opening his eyes to see his girlfriend taking photos of him. “What are you doing?” He said groggily. “Look! You and Yureum.” Y/n shoved the phone in her boyfriend's face.

“Y/n—Achoo!” Sunghoon cut himself off with a sneeze. “Are you okay, baby? You’ve been sneezing a lot.” Y/n asks in concern as she hands her boyfriend a tissue.

“What if I've developed an allergy to cats? Yureum has been clingy to me recently, what if the little shit got me sick.” Sunghoon suggested. “I know you don’t like him much but what kind of excuse is that? I mean it could be possible though…” Y/n lost the train of thought thinking about the possibility. “He just loves you a lot, he cuddles with you a night more than me.” She pouted as she crossed her arms against her chest.

“I kind of wish he didn’t…I just have been getting itchy around him a lot.”

“I can make an appointment for you later today, just take some of my allergy pills and you’ll be okay.” Y/n said as she walked over to the kitchen to fetch her allergy pills. She herself was allergic to cats but she didn’t mind.

Turns out, Sunghoon really was allergic to cats. He tried to keep his distance after learning so. He doesn’t know how Y/n deals with it.

But It was hard when the damn cat was always by Sunghoon’s side. When he was sleeping, when he was working, hell even when he was in the bathroom. He followed him everywhere.

“Yureum! Seriously, I’m just getting up to get water.” Sunghoon groaned as the cat purposefully stuck himself to his owner by digging his claws into Sunghoon’s knitted sweater. “Don’t follow me.” He said firmly, placing the cat down after detaching it from him.

Yureum sat and stared at his owner as he walked away, deciding to ignore his wishes and follow him anyway.

“Oh my god! Yureum, I almost stepped on you.” Hoon complained as he looked at the cat that was now by his feet. “You have food and water, I was just petting you, what more could you want?” Hoon asked the cat. He looked crazy right now, he’s talking to a cat.

Yureum’s head slightly turned to the right. Taking little steps to get to his ankles, purring against them softly.

Sunghoon sighed as he picked his cat up. “God, I’m surprised I’m not dead already.” He carried the cat to the shared bedroom between him and his girlfriend.

“Are we out of allergy pills?” Y/n asked, looking up from her laptop. She was currently working on a project for work and wanted some alone time.

“Almost. I’m tired and I can tell Yureum is too.” He set the cat down before he laid himself on the bed next to Y/n. “He keeps following me everywhere, I don’t know why. He’s your cat. I’m more like his babysitter.” He sighed.

Y/n gasps. “He is our son…and it’s because he likes you, Hoon. More than me actually…it’s kind of surprising.” Y/n shrugged her shoulders, “See.” She pointed out as the cat was currently cuddling up to Sunghoon and not her.

“Hoon! I know you’ve been tired a lot recently and you’ve been wanting a break from Yureum so I got someone else to watch him! You can go and hang with the guys tonight.” Y/n said as soon as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

Sunghoon spit out the toothpaste in his mouth into the sink. “Who is it?” He asked as he put his toothbrush away. Y/n unwrapped her arms, grabbing the hairbrush on the bathroom counter. “It’s one of my coworkers, he said he loves cats and he has a day off today so he agreed to watch him.” She gently brushed her hair as she looked at the man in the mirror.

“Yes, but who?” Sunghoon’s eyebrows slightly furrowed. “Doyoon.” Y/n said hesitantly.

Sunghoon’s eyes slightly lit up, he knew he was the said coworker. “Actually, the guys aren’t going out today. I can watch Yureum.” He said nonchalantly.

Even though Sunghoon could use his day off to hang with his friends he still decided to look after their cat every single saturday. Purely because he doesn’t want Kim Doyoon, who has a massive crush on his girl, to look after their cat. In bold their cat.

enhypen m.list — enhypen taglist (open) : @yenqa

[bullet-prooflove]

Good People: Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @wabi-sabi1090 @lostinwonderland314 @turtle-cant-communicate @fallout-girl219

Takes place after:

The Farm - Carmy recalls the day you met.

Prequel to:

Pears - It starts when Carmy makes an order he doesn't remember.

Mornings - Carmy sleeps better with you around.

Bubble - You have no idea that you saved Carmy's life.

Crazy, Stupid, Fucked Up World (NSFW) - Carmy tells you he lvoes you for the first time.

Everyone knows that Carmy has a thing for the farm girl. It’s the way his attention shifts when your name is mentioned, the fact it’s him signs for the orders and no one else. They watch as he asks about your day and raise their eyebrows when he stands there and actually listens.

“You may as well be giving her fuck me eyes.” Richie says as he tries to wrestle The Beef t-shirt onto an inflatable hotdog in Jimmy’s backyard.

The two of them are setting up for that ridiculous kid’s party, hoping to knock a couple of grand off the debt Mikey owed him.

“I don’t have fuck me eyes.” Carmy mutters, focusing on slicing the oranges for the homemade Ectoplasm he’s made because Unc’s kid is nuts about Ghostbusters.

“Oh you do. You fucking do.” Richie argues as he pulls out the duct tape. “It’s probably the reason we’re getting such a discount, she likes the way you shake that pasty white ass underneath that little apron of yours.”

“You’re a fucking asshole.” He snaps at Richie, launching a piece of fruit at the back of  Richie’s head. It smacks him right on the dome and the other man turns to face him furious.

“What the fuck is with you?” Richie retorts, throwing it back. “Last month you got the shit kicked out of you by a guy dressed like a carrot, now you’re whoring yourself out for cucumbers. You’ve got issues man, big ones.”

Carmen really has nothing to say to that because honestly if he had to whore himself out to keep this business going, he probably fucking would. That’s exactly where his self-respect is right now, rock fucking bottom. It’s the reason he’s out here in the fucking suburbs slinging gourmet hot dogs for little monsters have no fucking clue how the real world works.

“I hate you.” He tells Richie as he throws himself back into his work the same way he always does. “I fucking hate you.”

It’s an hour later that Richie does the uncharacteristic thing and apologizes. Carmy thinks it’s probably got something to do with the Xanex he took about an hour ago.

“I shouldn’t have said that about Alice.” Richie says, rubbing his palm over the back of his neck. “She’s good people.”  

“Yea she is.” Carmy responds as he starts to make up another hotdog. “She’s helping us out in a bind because she’s a good person. It’s got nothing to do with my ass.”

Richie tilts his head from side to side as he pulls the bottle of Xanax out of his coat pocket and spills another tablet into his palm.

“It’s a little to do with your ass.” Richie tells him as he takes the pill, washing it down with a cup of Ecto.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Carmy asks as he puts the finishing touches on his masterpiece.

“It means for some fucked up reason she likes you.” Richie responds, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know why, you’re basically a fucking mop with eyes but she does and you should really do something about that.”

“Like what Richie?” Carmy retorts, turning to face him, his hands coming to rest on his hips. “I run a sandwich shop that’s failing so badly I had to pay for our meat order with change out the arcade machine thirty days ago, I’ve got jack shit to offer anyone right now.”

“I’m just saying you deserve to be happy.” Richie says as he leans back against the fold up table, the tension in his shoulders relaxing. “Mikey would have wanted you to be happy.”

Carmy doesn’t know what Mikey would have wanted because Mikey, he’s not hear to tell him.

“That second Xanex just kicked in didn’t it?” Carmy remarks, changing the subject and Richie exhales, nodding his head.

“Oh yea, big time. I don’t feel a fucking thing.”

It’s on the way home, that Carmy starts to think about what Richie said, about you, about being happy.

Sitting in those fields at your farm on his days off, shooting the shit with you. It’s the closest thing to contentment he’s felt in years. If he was a better man, someone less mentally ill, he’d consider pursuing it but honestly he’s a fucking mess. He wouldn’t wish himself on any woman especially you.

“You’re punking out aren’t you?” Richie says from the passenger seat as he watches the world go by outside.

“No.” Carmy says, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. “She just deserves better than an asshole like me.”

Love Carmy? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[sokuly419]

So now that I cried, sat in relative silence for about an hour, and had some time to sleep… I think I can make some kind of choppy ramble about Act 2. It’s gonna be long… sorry.

First, let’s just appreciate the cheap shots.

Jinx calling Vi “Fat Hands” after just absolutely dogging on each other.

Vi calling Cait a “rich, unhinged mongoose” and Cait following it up with “angry oil slick.”

Cait cracking Vi in the face with the butt of her rifle (seriously, girl, stop it) and giving the “I’m really sorry but you asked” shrug.

Vi spitting on Cait’s cheek just for her to wipe it across her lips.

Vi telling Ambessa to “just shut the fuck up.”

Guys. This act was pure pettiness and lovely.

Okay, I think a handful of people need to be reminded there was a time jump of several months. I’ve been seeing a lot of people accusing Cait of immediate rebound with Maddie and an immediate switch when she reunited with Vi. More on that later.

The way I started out mad as fuck because, well, Maddie. I did laugh at the way Cait kept pulling away every time Maddie tried to get intimate. Girl was feeling all sorts of guilt about it I think. When Cait made a comment about not thinking about it going on so long, it could either be taken as whatever she had going on with Maddie or about the martial law. I have a feeling they were going for the martial law situation, but I saw it as either. Either way, there’s some kind of realization that happened.

Honestly, Jinx was dishing it out the whole time and I loved it. All of it. She’s just a little shit. Jinx was never my favorite, but like I said before, I do like her. No hate here. And her relationship with Isha and Sevika? Come on. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Now, I’ve never played the game and I don’t ever plan to but I have listened to the in game dialogue or have at least heard some of it. And I’m so glad we got Jinx calling Vi “Fat Hands.”

Vi was a damn mess. I mean, we all knew it was gonna happen. But seeing her pale and sunken? Even after Jinx shows up? Ooooof.

The banter with Jinx was lovely. They’re just sisters and it shows.

And we finally got to see her actually smile. Only for it to be ripped away. Again.

Now… I want to address the seemingly sudden switch for a lot of things, particularly Cait and Vi.

There was a time jump of “months.” Even if it wasn’t flat out said, you can tell by the length of Vi’s hair. It doesn’t get that much longer in even a single month or even two or three, guys. On average it’s about 6” per year. Even in the trailers and teasers we got before s2 even started, I knew there was going to be a time jump at some point based on that alone. I remember kinda looking at my wife like, “Vi’s hair is… longer. Wonder when that happens.” I’m thinking this jump is around 8-10 months after Act 1

Anyhow, the characters had time to think and do things in that time. Cait probably finally started to realize her actions do, in fact, have consequences. And seeing Vi again was the final nail in that coffin. We watched her fold quickly. And that little “cupcake” sealed it. And before we start getting into the “I can’t believe they’re working together again so quick after what Cait did” let’s take a second to think about the Act 3 teaser. They’re gonna argue. 100% things are going to get thrown in Cait’s face. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine.

And then there’s Vi. People are dogging on her for essentially losing a physical interaction with Cait when she fought in a pit for a living for those several months. To start, it was an ambush and took her by surprise (Jinx was also able to land one hell of a slap by taking her by surprise too). Cait also had a weapon at her disposal and used it (seriously, can we stop hitting Vi with the butt of the rifle?). Now this is just me throwing some realness into all of this, but Vi was drinking a lot and falling into alcoholism. When you stop drinking, you feel weaker and sick and foggy (at least that how it was for me). I wouldn’t be surprised at all if that was something to do with how easy it was for Cait to take her down. Vi was likely going through some withdrawals. Again, that’s just some speculation and giving some real life attributes.

Now for them to trust and work together again so quickly? I think it was at a level of just needing to get something done and complete the “mission.” At least at first. The amount of care and love Cait still has for Vi was so obvious. Which brings me to… y’all should really listen to Oil & Water by PVRIS. It’s been confirmed a while ago (if I’m remembering correctly) that it’s about Cait and Vi from primarily Cait’s POV. Vi clearly still loves Cait but she’s also still, rightfully, pissed off and hurt.

Can Jayce just… leave shit alone? Just once. For the sake of everyone. Doing that to Viktor was uncalled for and now he caused even more problems.

I’m still not ready to talk about Isha. Because what the actual fuck. The music and flashback montage started and I knew… I just knew. The tears started and then the explosion and then I was full on sobbing. Not cool. I’m still in absolute shock.

Vi having to watch Vander die AGAIN. Give the girl a damn break, please.

Also, where’s Ekko and Heimerdinger? We need the unproblematic ones to calm everything down a few notches. Ekko just wants his tree fixed, man.

My thoughts on Act 3? I’m still hoping we get the Caitvi sex scene. But I’m also so scared someone else is going to die now. Like absolutely terrified.

“Hope you got a chance to, you know, before…”

I will simply give up on everything. Full on rage quit and I’ll end up like Vi at the bottom of that pit.

Someone please tell me I’m wrong and looking too far into it.

Or Jinx sacrificing herself? That’s a popular opinion I’ve been seeing.

I need answers. I need Ekko’s tree fixed and Caitvi to just end up together without question.

And this concludes this round of Arcane season 2 Act 2 rambling.

[richeeduvie]

Baby coincidentally changing her locks around the same time Roman gets with Tabitha. I remember reading something here once that he just makes himself home at her place even if he is with Tabitha 😭 he has such a hard time being told no and Baby just goes “oh right,, i had to change my locks recently because I uhh lost my keys ??yeah” and he just stares at her like yeah?? Well?? Wheres my duplicate then🤨 and she just sighs 🧍‍♀️

Dog at Your Door

So we do know he's panicking, right?

It's after a slight conflict, Baby's secretly tense and insecure after witnessing Roman's affections towards Tabitha and was in his words "Acting pussy-hungry."

"Eat a cock. Preferably mines, who elses?"

And Roman, in all his fuck-assery and annoying, attention seeking nature, knew that got to Baby. He didn't know why, but it did. His shit-eating smirk faltered a little, barely noticeable to most. He scratched the back of his neck, watched how Baby walked off into the hall with a fucking attitude.

It just didn't help Baby at all to see the way Roman still holds the belief that he's safe in their friendship to have sex and act as if they're joined by their genitals and hearts while playing boyfriend-girlfriend with Tabitha. It isn't fair, not to her or herself - but Roman holds it so tightly that she knows it's genuine. It's not spiteful, as if he's saying "I own your heart, what are you going to do about it?"

It still hurts.

And all those blood-gushing moments of when Baby pretends to be angry or disappointed in Roman to get him small, insecure, and panicked? It's there when she changes the locks. But it's not purposeful. Not fully, at least.

Roman goes over to her place with almost fully forgetting their little stunt in the day. He knows she's not home, but it's routine to make himself home when she's not there. Sometimes he'll jizz on her pillowcase, or play a game on his phone. Sometimes take a nap, even though naps are for people who are about to turn to dust or toddlers.

But the door doesn't budge. The knob barely moves.

"What the fuck?"

And Roman tries again. And again. The vein along his forehead appears, there comes the thinly-pulled lips and the look in his eyes gets more childishly strained.

"What the fuck?"

So does his voice. It'd make Baby smile if she was there.

After the thirteenth door jam, Roman begins to pull at his hair.

"Fuck!"

It's about a hour worth of constant text messages when Baby reached her place.

'why the fuck can't I open the door to the pent'

'hey'

'what the fuck'

'What the actual fuck?'

'literally what did I do? It's an actual different lock too'

'fuck you seriously'

'I didn't know you were that pussy hungry but I didn't do anything and what?'

'What are you trying to say with this?'

'or can you tell me the lock broke or something?'

'hey'

'why can't I open the door?'

"Roman."

It's Baby standing over him in front of the door. He's rested, casually pissed and passive aggressive.

"I lost my other key."

His fingers play nervously with themselves. Baby watches Roman's chest rise and fall, it's even. But she knows him. It's manic. Not a good enough answer for him. He needs complete assurance that she's not going to leave him or filter him out - that and a kiss, an arm wrapped around his stomach while he sleeps.

"Why didn't you just get a new key?"

"That would mean a place where a stranger could have my key to my door. Changing the locks is safer."

He blinks up and scratches his nose.

"...That's fucking stupid. I'm here in like...belief? Belief you want me out and fuck Roman and his tiny, occupied cock that is perfectly available but I won't accept because your womanly ego convinced you someone might pick up your key and think you're worthy enough of a sex crime."

She looks the knob above his head, scratched up. She assumes (and assumes right) that that came from Roman growing increasingly more frantic and kept missing the keyhole when trying to open it over and over.

"You were about to break in. And what? Wait for me naked to pounce on me? Which would be more like begging. I'd reject which would get you huffy and then I would have to rub your chest like you're a fucking baby who had a bad day with Daddy."

Baby unlocked the door over Roman's head.

"If you were the cautionary scenario I was imagining when I was changing the locks, Rome, I'd keep the door wide open. It's all a pathetic, corporate nature."

"...I didn't even say anything."

"Say hi to Tabitha, and tell Shiv tha-"

"I wanna come in."

"Rome."

He steps in, tense and needy and every other word to describe and man stepping a panic, doing what needs to be done to be the center of her love and affection and she can't leave him outside the door.

And Baby knows that, and she's been so lonely that she'll indulge for the sake of herself.

Roman butts his head into her neck nearly-softly, like a cat. He smiles, not in smugness, but relief.

Sometimes a dog and his bone, other times a cat who gets what he wants anyway.

[short-honey-badger]

Peppermint Tea 21 - Lavender 4

This is a long one! I wanted a way for Shanks and Mihawk to come together, and what better way to do that is a nice sick fic!

Shanks is a flirt and both are possessive bastards. They worry about their little treasure. Took some creative liberties with Haki btw! hope you enjoy!

No warnings today!

Masterlist

Hank watches his human lay still and silent in her bed. His nose twitches when a draft comes by and tickles his nose, and a sneeze follows when his little brother comes back and smacks him in the nose. Hank grumbles at the fluffball, but at least Sukuna doesn’t use his claws this time. The cat jumps to the chair that Hank lays under, golden eyes watching his human too. 

Neither animal understands what had gotten into their human. She had yet to get up and start the day like usual, instead, she still sleeps. Hank whines when his nose picks up the scent of something that doesn’t belong on his human, and he shuffles out from under his chair to stand by the bed. Sukuna joins him, jumping from the chair to come to a stop by their person’s head. Hank jumps up, nosing forward and huffing when he picks up that same smell. 

It’s hot and rancid, and the two of them nearly jump a foot into the air when you suddenly groan and roll over, eyes cracking open to the sight of two concerned brothers. 

“Hello children,” You green softly and wince at the soreness of your throat. You snake an arm out from under the covers, shivering when the cooler air of the room floods the blanket cocoon you’ve made around yourself. You feel awful, and you wonder what had changed so suddenly for you to feel this way. You frown as you think. No not suddenly. You’ve not been feeling yourself for a couple of days now. More tired than usual, a constant chill that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard you tried, and you dearly wished that Mihawk and his overheated body were here to help warm you up. 

Sukuna darts forward to press his forehead into your open palm, purring up a storm as his human gently scratches between his ears just the way he likes. Hank shoves him when he heaves the rest of his huge body up, and Sukuna sends the mutt a sharp glare for the disrespect. Their antics bring a giggle out of you, however, so the cat isn’t too upset about it. 

“Gimmie a second and I’ll get up. Not like you’re starving or anything, you gluttons,” You grumble good-naturedly and force yourself to sit up. 

Hank surprises you by butting his big head in your chest and knocking you back down. It takes the wind out of you, and you send a half-hearted glare at the big lug, “Hey. What was that about?”

The shaggy dog whines, not wanting his human up in fear of spreading the hot, sick scent that he can still smell. You break easily when Sukuna teams up with him and steps on your chest, making a round of biscuits and then lying down. You shove one hand into his fluffy orange fur and then the other into Hank’s grey, tangled locks. You have half a thought of brushing him soon before your stuffy brain is making you go back to sleep. 

Sukuna shares a look with his older brother when a soft wheeze spills out of your chest. This is not good. Their human was sick and the other humans who liked to show up were not here, and probably would not be back for a while. The dark-haired one that smelled like steel and old books had left only a week ago.

It’s hours later that you wake again, and luckily, Hank allows you to get up when you express the need to go to the bathroom. He knows what that word means, but still diligently followed after you when you got out of bed because he is a good boy. Sukuna flees to the kitchen, selfish enough to beg for food now that his human is out of bed for now. 

You wash your face after doing your business and look at yourself in the mirror. You look like utter shit, face flushed and skin pale as a ghost from whatever sickness that has a hold of you. You sniff and blow your nose a couple of times, hurting your throat even more each time. A cup of tea sounds like a grand idea, so you shuffle to the kitchen and put on the kettle. You choose a nice chamomile and load the cup up with the honey that Dracule had gifted you not too long ago. A lemon slice is next, another gift, though the lemon tree had come from Shanks on his third visit to your island. 

Speaking of the redhead, it’s been a while since you’ve seen the other man. You assume that his Emperor business is keeping him busy, but you still kinda miss the older man. He always knew how to make you laugh. Gullt curls in you at the thought, but you shove it away and remember the talk that you and Dracule had on his last visit.

Mihawk had assured you several times that he and Shanks had come to some sort of agreement. They would more or less stay out of one another business unless there was a shared concern about your well-being. Dracule had basically given you his permission to seek comfort and companionship in Shanks when the warlord could not be there. 

You still didn’t really know what to think of the idea that Shanks and Mihawk had spoken about you while you weren’t there, and you know that neither of them had come completely clean about whatever deal they had going on.

What you did know was that something fundamental had changed between the two men, but honestly, you didn’t much care about all the details. If they were happy, then you were happy. You didn’t know what you would do with yourself if either man stopped coming to your island, and just the thought of being alone like that makes agony tighten around your heart. You’ve known Mihawk for over a year now, and the reclusive man had slowly opened up to you during that time. He was a friend, a lover, a protector, and you loved him. 

Of course, you haven’t told him yet, you’re not so much an idiot to bring the L word into the equation, not when the very notion made fear strike through you like lightning. You wouldn’t ruin what you have going on with him, not unless he said those three words first. You just couldn’t risk being that lonely again. 

And Shanks? That mischievous man had wiggled his way into your daily thoughts and heart, fast. His easygoing attitude is so different from Mihawk's, but no less enjoyable to be around. 

A loud meow right in your ear has you jerking out of your thoughts. Sukuna stands on the counter, big golden eyes narrowed as he meows loud enough for it to echo in the house. You wave him away and apologize for not being fast enough to meet his majesty’s needs. 

You feed Sukuna his usual dish and a little extra for being patient with you this morning and then go outside to do the same for Hank. He whines when you step outside, but his food easily distracts him so that you can go check on Neal and the three chickens. You really need to give them names, you feel bad that it’s been this long. 

Neal bleats a greeting when he catches sight of his human, and you laugh when he digs into your loose dress for any snacks to be found. You gently steer his the other way, fixing up his feed and water before leaving them to it. You stoke your fireplace and settle in on the couch with a new cup of tea, blankets bundled high around you. 

You still feel awful, and a deep ache has settled in the middle of your back, but the satisfaction of doing something keeps any bad thoughts away. Sukuna and Hank find their way back to your side whenever they finish, bullying you into lying down so that they can cuddle with you on the couch. It works, for you are back to sleep in no time, dead to the world. 

-------------

Three days later, It’s Neal who hears the sound of loud laughter and the soft thuds of crates hitting the sand down at the beach. He waits until he can see a familiar silhouette trudging up the footpath to his home, hoofs stomping when he realizes that it’s the red-haired one, and not the one with the tasty-looking hat. Neal bleats a warning, loud enough that it gets the attention of Hank who comes bounding out the door. 

Shanks grins when Hank runs to meet him, the shaggy dog jumping up to place his paws on his chest and whining in his face, “Hey, big guy. You seem excited to see me.”

He pets the dog for half a second before Hank jumps down and trots into the cottage. He turns and whines again at Shanks, big eyes demanding the other man to hurry up. Shanks frowns and picks up his pace, entering the cottage with a frown when he notices that you are not up and about like usual. It was midday, but the house was silent as a grave. 

The emperor winds his way through the house, following Hank until he reaches your bedroom. He doesn’t hesitate to step inside, and his chest seizes when he sees the pitiful bundle of blankets and pillows that lie on the bed. He can hardly see you, only your hair making your whereabouts known in the mess on the bed. Hank whines at his feet, paws tip-tapping on the floor in his distress.

“How long has she been this way buddy?” Shanks asks out loud and doesn’t receive an answer, not that he was expecting to. He steps to the side of the bed, knee sliding on the mattress as he reaches over and pulls the blanket closest to your face down.

“Babygirl?” Shanks murmurs and slides his hand along your jaw, hissing when he finds your skin literally ice cold. His hand throbs when he pulls away and he wipes the frost off on his pants leg. Gods, no wonder you were bundled up like you were. 

You groan when he pulls away, your body seeking any amount of warmth and your voice is nothing but a croak when you speak, “Who?”

Shanks slides his hand back to your cheek, uncaring of the cold when he hears how loopy you sound. He wonders if this is how your devil fruit is reacting to you having a fever. Freezing you to the bone instead of warming you. Mihawk would know how to answer that better than he could. 

“It’s me, sweetheart. It’s Shanks. Think you can tell me what’s wrong?” Shanks shifted more onto the bed, crowding you close in hopes that he could warm you up a little, “You’re freezing, way more than usual, Baby.”

“Dunno. Thought it was a cold, “ You slowly slur as you focus on the handsome man above you. You grin up at him, chest losing one kind of ache now that one of them is here, “Shanks, how was your trip?”

Shanks scoffs at you, eyes rolling skyward as worry curdles tight in his stomach. How could you be asking him questions like that when you looked like a zombie come to life, “It was fine, silly. Don’t worry about that right now. Tell me what I can do to help you get better.” 

Before you can speak, a shiver wracks your body so hard that it leaves your body shivering, teeth chattering and frost creeping up your neck. Shanks jerks his hand back before the dangerous frost can touch him, anxiety curling up when he spots the fear lingering in your eyes. You swallow and curl further in your blanket next, “I don’t know, Shanks. I- I don’t have any medicine. I didn’t think that someone like me could get sick!” 

You don’t have any books on devil fruit users, had no idea how to deal with how your body works sometimes even though you’ve had this horrible power since before you came to this island. You’d always resented the devil fruit inside of you, having never been taught how to properly use your logia abilities. 

Shanks licks his lips. He was out of his depth here. None of his crew had a devil fruit. They’d fought plenty of men and women on the grand line who used them, but Shanks never had the responsibility to know any more than he needed to know about them. 

“That’s alright, Babygirl. We’ll figure it out together, okay?” Shanks assured you and went to rise off the bed only for your hand to shoot out and wrap around his wrist. He looks at you and sees the fever lingering in your eyes, so he changes tactics and shifts to lay down on his side, curling you against his chest, and tossing his arm over your waist to pull you in close. You snuggle close, grateful for the heat that slowly seeps past your blankets. 

Shanks thinks quickly for a solution. He would need to move later, go check on his crew, and see if his crew’s doctor could help with any of this. If that didn’t work then the redhead would call the one person would would most likely know what to do, and Shanks couldn’t help the excitement that erupted at the thought of having his two treasures in the same room together. Despite the situation, it was a chance that Shanks couldn’t pass up.

He wanted to see how the two of you looked curled up together. Wanted to watch the sweet way Mihawk would kiss you and how you would open up to him in kind.  

Turns out that Shanks wouldn’t have to go anywhere, for Benn came to check up on him when he didn’t return after so long. He knocked on the doorframe before peeking his head inside after Shanks told them it was fine.

Benn took one look at your pitiful state and then left to go grab Hongo. The doctor of the crew was able to suggest the proper things than most medical professionals could for what looked like the common cold gone bad, but even he became stumped when it came to the problem of her devil fruit. 

“In a way, It’s preventing her fever from getting too bad, internally at least, but it's also inhibiting the growth of any fresh, healthy cells and bacteria that are trying to get rid of the virus. She needs medicine Captain, and I doubt that I’d be stocked up with what she needs.” 

Shanks sighs heavily from where he sits on your bed, hand behind him to keep hold of your own. You had refused to let go of him, and Shanks didn’t have it in him to leave your side. 

“Bring me my transponder, I need to make a call,” Shanks ordered and Benn left to go find the snail as Hongo packed up his medical bag. 

“Keep her hydrated captain. She needs food too, nothing too solid or hard on her stomach,” Hongo advised and then he was gone too. 

Now alone, Shanks rolls back over, looking down at your scrunched face even in sleep. He smiles and leans down, balanced on his knees so that he can place a quick kiss on your brow, “Don’t worry, Baby. We’ve got you. You’ll be better soon.” 

Benn leaves again when he brings Shanks the snail, though he reminds his friend to call if he needs anything. Shanks had given him a grateful nod and then focused on the transponder, licking his lips as he dialed the number he’d never forgotten. 

Ca-Lick

“There aren’t many people who know this number, who is this?” Dracule sounds furious, and Shanks can hear the sound of shouting and battle in the background, “This better be good.” 

The Emperor takes the dive, “Mihawk, it’s Shanks.” 

The silence on the other end, at least from Dracule, is deafening. It’s only been a month or so since Mihawk had tracked the other man down. He can feel the panic on the other side, and quickly continues, “It’s _, She’s sick, Mihawk, and we don’t have the kind of medicine that she needs.” 

Shanks hears a sudden explosion and then the probable death of whoever it was that Dracule had been fighting. Arousal swirls inappropriately when he listens to Mihawk wields Yoru, and Shanks longs for a time before when he could watch Dracule fight whenever he wanted. The sounds of battle fade away after a moment, and when the warlord speaks next, Shanks can hear the worry lacing every word.

“What do you mean she’s sick? What is wrong with her?” Mihawk had left your island a week and a half ago, and you had seemed just fine then, so what had happened?

Shanks quickly explains the problem, and Dracule wracks his brain for a solution, though one seems unlikely until Shanks mentions that the devil fruit is the problem. He focuses on that, licking his lips as he debates with himself. 

Haki users like Shanks and himself were logia users' worst nightmare since haki could bypass their powers. Could Shanks negate yours long enough that normal medicine and treatment could work? But that could take days to work, especially with just one of them, and Mihawk refused to let someone else from Redhair’s crew get that close to you. Garp would be pissed that he was leaving his assignment half-finished, but Mihawk could care less. His angel and Shanks needed him.  

“Dracule? Is everything okay?” Shanks’ voice brings him back to the present and Drcule straightens up even if the redhead couldn’t see him. He didn’t like how his body had warmed up at the concern he could hear swimming in the other man’s tone. 

“Fine, Shanks. I have an idea.” He informs the redhead then hears Shanks shuffle on the other side of the phone, and realizes that he had to be near you, “Let me speak with her.” 

The emperor shifts so that you are comfortably lying across his chest and can be closer to the transponder snail. You open blurry eyes and sniff harshly, “Mihawk?” 

“There’s my angel,” Dracule coos over the phone, tone soft and full of affection for the young woman, “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit, but Shanks helps,” Comes your blunt reply and Mihawk can’t help the snort of laughter that leaves him. He still feels that jealous sting at knowing the redhead is the one holding you, but it’s not nearly as bad as it used to be. Damn, Shanks and his ability to get into people’s good graces, his included.

“Then I am glad he is there for once,” Mihawk quips dryly and fixes his hat, “I’m going to have Shanks try something, Darling. He’s going to try and coat your body in haki. If that works, then your devil fruit shouldn’t be a problem. That way, your immune system can fight off any infection, and you’ll start feeling better.”

“Okay, that’s fine,” You slur, already half asleep by the time he has finished his explanation. Thankfully, you have a redhead who has taken his duty as a caregiver very seriously. 

“This is why I called you, Dracule. You always know what to do,” Shanks praises quietly, voice laced with sincerity. The other man is quiet on the other end, but Shanks doesn’t mind, it just means that he’d surprised him. 

“Just do what I said, you fool,” Mihawk grumbles quietly, “Have Hongo come back and give her some medicine, whatever you have in stock should work once her body is coated. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

The smile on Shanks’ face is nothing but fond, and he nods even though Mihawk can’t see, “Sure. Be safe, We’ll be waiting for you.” 

You call a weak goodbye to Dracule, lucid enough to hear that he is coming back, and then you are gone again, body weak and exhausted from fighting off the growing virus. Shanks curls around you, focusing on weaving his haki over your body until you are completely coated by his will. 

Shanks doesn’t know how to describe the way it feels to have someone so intimately twined within his will. He can feel everything, every twitch of a muscle, every shallow breath you take. It’s almost overwhelming. However, it seems to be working. 

The frost that has been ever-present has slowly begun to melt away, leaving the blankets damp and uncomfortable, but Shanks feels victorious. He calls for Hongo, and the doctor is back in the cottage in a flash and tells his captain that whatever he is doing, he needs to keep it up. Shanks easily nods, curling around you and focusing on keeping his haki a consistent stream to regulate your body. It’s harder than it looks, and Shanks is very glad that Mihawk is coming.

----------

You are still loopy and out of it when Dracule arrives two days later, pushing his ship as hard as he can and catching every tailwind he can navigate to speed up the process. Even though your body had regulated itself into something more human than logia, the process of recovery was slow going. The Red Haired crew greets the warlord when he makes landfall, but Mihawk is in too much of a hurry to return the greeting.

He darts up the path and into his home, stopping long enough to toss his boots, hat, and coat off, and then Mihawk is creaking open your bedroom door, ringed eyes landing on the bed. What he seems makes him choke up, but in a way he hadn’t expected. 

It’s not anger that he feels upon seeing you curled up in bed with Shanks, blankets tangled around both of you as the redhead holds you to his chest. Your face is pressed into his chest, mouth open in a soft snore that has Mihawk’s lips curling at the sides. Shanks turns his face just enough to catch sight of the older man and send him a weary grin, and it definitely isn’t jealousy that Mihawk feels. No, it is satisfaction, at seeing the two people he cared for most in this world curled up together in the too-small bed. 

Dracule shuffles to the other side of the bed and lays on his side, boxing you in between the two men. He can feel the way Shanks’ haki coats you and his own reaches out to glide along the redheads, curling protectively around you and Shanks both. He jumps when he feels a hand land on his waist and glances over you to see Shanks grinning, that familiar teasing look in his eye. 

You wake between them before Mihawk can puff up about the sudden invasion of space, and his attention is quickly drawn to you. You yawn, and then roll, opening your eyes to see another body beside you that isn’t Shanks. A blush floods your face when you realize that Mihawk is there, his magma-like body pressed close to your own. 

You latch onto him, arms coming up to wind around his neck as you bury your face in his neck. Mihawk tightens his grip on you, kissing your brow as you sniffle into his chest and ramble about how much you missed him. He glances up and catches Shanks watching, a fond, though possessive look in his dark eyes. 

“Thank you for looking after her,” Mihawk whispers once you’ve quieted down. It pains him to admit it, but you would have been so much worse off if Shanks had never shown up.  

“Don’t thank me for something I wanted to do, Baby,” Shanks says and pulls at Mihawk from where his hand still rests on his side. The older man looks exhausted, and Shanks knows that the warlord pushed himself since the phone call, “Sleep, Mihawk. I’ve got you.”   

@writingmysanity @djbumblebee @goth-mami-writer @myradiaz @fluffybunnyu @bookandstar @foggyturtleknightangel @browneyedhufflepuff @anastasiyax

[madrone33]

THE WISDOM SAGA IS OUT AHHHH

It was SO much better than I anticipated. Like, I knew it'd be amazing to listen to - 'cause practically all of Jorge's stuff is - but I was less attached to Telemachus as a character than Ody, so while I was settled in for a fun time I wasn't as invested as I had been for the previous sagas.

Little. Did. I. Know.

HOW DO THE SAGAS JUST KEEP BEING SO GOOD LIKE WHAT JORGE DO YOU SLEEP

Anyway, now that it's officially out for everyone, here's 1000+ words worth of excited screeching/rambling/word vomit from my immediate reaction to the audio, when it released at midnight for me! (I'm australian, so I got it 15 hours ahead of the americans lol, but also means I hadn't seen the animatics from the Live at this point)

Also, heads up there's a lot of swearing and I wasn't very coherent, 'cause my brain-to-type filter was non-existent at midnight while in the middle of a HYPE adrenaline rush lol

I feel so awake rn, even though it's midnight lol.

Started smiling as soon as I heard him. He sounds so GOOD!! MICO you're knocking it out of the park!

"Come and give me a sign!" Ayyy the Athena motif!!

Ooh they merged MICO's audition way of saying "if you're dead... or just tooo far"!

"Can I do whatever I takes to keep my mum safe?" aww don't worry bebe Athena's coming!

"Where is the man who'll have to wife?" ooh they really did use the Man of the House lines!

And they dropped that it's been 20 years! That's good, a proper timeline needed to be established at this point or newcomers might get confused.

ohhh shit! That growled "Boy!"

(Also, edit from after I watched the Livestream: HE DID NOT JUST THROW A BOWL AT MY BOY OH HELL NO-)

"Why don't you open her room so we can" oh FUCK OFF ANTINOUS!

oh the LINE! The CHAMP line!

"If I fight this monster" THS MONSTER! It changed from those monsters to this monster, because while he might be having fun thinking of conquering distant monsters out in the world, the real monster is living in his home and he needs his father's strength more than ever and AHHH

(Another edit from post Live: he decided to fight for his mum's honour and thought he'd get a beatdown or DIE in the attempt and STILL put his fists up oh my goddd!! And also, HIM STEPPING INTO THE SPIRIT OF HIS FATHER AHHH)

Ok I hate Antinous already. Like, I really love his voice, it's perfect, Ayron did amazing, but Antinous? What the FUCK! FUCK HIM! And I decided I love Telemachus. He sounds so helpless in that last line 🥺 ATHENA STEP IN!

Listening to Little Wolf now! Oh god I'm scared for Tele

(Edit post Live: YOOO IT'S FULL ON STREET FIGHTER STYLE!)

"Wanna entertain me?" oh EW Antinous!

I just have a permanent stink face on rn lol

"Wanna entertain me?" Still ew, but also aww he didn't do the growl like in the demo

Clock sound effect! ATHENA!!!

she's giving TE/MO type vocal vibes, more than Act 1 Athena lol

"What's going on here??" lmao he's confused about Quick-Thought, like ody wasn't

"Uppercut him. Now." AYYYY FIGHT ADVICE

she's doing the verse melody but for him!

wait what'd she say? "I've no respect for bullies! Those who [something something] will!"

SHE CALLED HIM A DOG HA! What's a dog to a wolf hey antinous >:)

"One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined!" awww Athena <3

YES!! SHE'S SINGING THE CHORUS BUT IN HIS FAVOUR!!

the HARMONIES!!

"Oooh, maybe I pushed you a bit too hard..." lol she's too used to ody who is used to her

oh FUCK OFF antinous!

"Tell me, Athena, why you came to my aid..." wait WAIT HE SUNG THE "what keeps you up so late at night myyy friend?" MELODY??? HOLY SHIT!!

Ok that was awesome. We'll Be Fine time!

SHE CALLED ODY HER FRIEND!!

OMG SHE'S DOING THE "MIIIND" RIFF!!

awww she regrets <3

NO THE "SLEEP AT NIGHT" CALLING BACK TO ALL THOSE TIME ODY COULDN'T SLEEP FROM REGRET

omg but her HIGH notes

ooh? 👀 The line changed from "sailed to an island" to "and I didn't die?? What does this mean for HTD's "I heard he's on a diplomatic mission" line?

oh now HIS high notes!!

THEIR HARMONIES!!

awww their motifs mixing! <3 <3

(Edit post Live: lmao him trying to lean on her shoulder and accidentally falling through her instead XD)

Well that was nice! Time for LIP... What am I in for bro

AHA I was RIGHT! The music from the cover art reveal IS here at the start of this song!

OH HOLY HSIT NOT HIS "REMEMBER ME" OMG WAIT GO BACK

The "ohhhh" motif from Remember Them!

TIME DIVE! WITH LYRICS!

oh yo! THESE scenes! We called the Sirens, Scylla, and Thunder Bringer on the discord, but the lines that are being used are INTERESTING

(Edit post Live: the animatics are going CRAZY this saga!)

calypso time...

Ooh calypso's voice is much gentler than the snippets! (I'm determined to not let my bias against her character in the Odyssey colour how I feel about her performance, because Wangui is a lovely person, and her voice is beautiful.)

lmao the awkwardly long pause and then "... ANWAYS!" is always funny XD

the electronic elements when she reveals what she is!

"Time can take a heavy toll." uh oh what's that mean

Damn not the "all I hear are screams"-

...

... holy fuck. Um. My jaw literally dropped what. What. Ok first, her "ody" fuck that. Second, the LEDGE?? Um. UM. I need to rewind please

Oh shit

Oh my goddd JUST LET HIM GO

NOT THE OPEN ARMS NO WHAT THE FUCK NOT POLITES OMG EURYLOCHUS OH FUCK ANTICLEA TOO OH SHIT

no him calling for athena! 😭

the slow clock omgggg

YES GO HELP HIM HE NEEDS HELP

... wait I need to rewind wait shit I'm shaking

ok. Pause. That was.

I guess I called correctly, but it turned out to be a BIT of an understatement when I said there'd be an UNEXPRECTED EMOTIONAL MOMENT! What the FUCK. Oh god that was incredible and I teared up and ah fuck wtf fuck who gave him the RIGHT

TIme for God Games. Shit. Am I ready for Beast Mode Zeus??? No. But I'm doing it anyway! :D

ok that was beautiful. Also her calling him "father" was unexpected but welcome

"... Odysseus." commander motif!!

god I love his voice but I hate him

ok I love how he says "AphroDITE!" I'm smiling, I'm getting into this

also, wait why does he say "or" instead of "and" like the snippets did?

The voice teasers! Ah shit I can't believe I'm going to HEAR THEIR VERSES IN A FEW SECONDS WHAT. Also Hera's voice is VERY interesting!

Apollo? YO?? Wait wait I have to go back and actually listen to the words lmao his voice is cool!

oh the sirens??

Huh. I... don't really get that logic? Athena just said "yeah but they had it coming and now they'll know better" and he replied "understandable have a nice day"?

wow what is that accent? Lemme go back and understand lol

damn those went by quick. Also, not what I'd thought their issues would be. Tho I think someone called the sirens one!

ooh wait I've always loved aphrodite's, this is BEAUTIFUL. I need to go back to the start of the song so I can get her full impact after pausing so much.

ohhh she's the first one to reject athena!

Ares!!

"HOLD YOUR TONGUE NOW! HIS SON'S MY FRIEND!"oop you done fucked up ares

oh I LIKE hera's voice! It's kinda airy but still hella powerful!

damn my jaw hurts from smiling

I hear cheering 👀

ohhh THAT'S what he meant by "or"! Athena was supposed to face either the five gods or Zeus?

"You DARE to defy me!" DAMN Zeus! That growl!

THUNDER BRINGER CHORUS!

lightning bolt to the face lmao

oh? The Wotm motif?

wait. Is the. Is this the "anime character on brink of death thinks of their friends and powers up" moment???

(Edit post Live: shit, zeus. Someone call CPS)

"Let him go..." oh wait that's IT?? NO WHAT SHIT

... lemme hear that end bit again.

WAIT reading through the comments and JORGE'S DAD VOICES HEPHAESTUS?? HOLY SHIT THAT'S EPIC! Now we just need his sister lol.

Oh that's right, I can see the cast now! Brandon McInnis as Apollo, POSEY as Hera, and Mike Rivera as Hephaestus. Nice.

It's 1 am now. Holy shit that was a wild ride. Damn. Hats off to Jorge and all the cast and editors and EVERYONE, that was absolutely incredible!! 💙🙌🏼🎉

... but also JORGE! WHEN I CATCH YOU JORGE-

[sailing-through-hawkins]

✧ sequel to the death says hello microfic that i wrote ages ago and just straight up forgot to post whoops, have some steve doing his best ✧

"Come on, come on -"

Steve skulks around the neighbourhood, muttering under his breath. He doesn't know if breathing in Upside Down air matters anymore considering they already - well, it wasn't the air down here that almost killed him.

Steve woke up with a gasp, gulping down air like he hadn't tasted the ashes in hours.

"Steve! He's awake! Guys, guys -"

His eyes blearily scanned the room, messy with supplies (black blood stains everywhere), and found Robin right next to him, gripping his hand tightly enough it hurt. Dustin was laughing right into Steve's chest, which was definitely covered in snot and tears but he hugged them both anyway.

Apparently the venom was a late-bloomer and only caught him the night after everything went down, in his fucking sleep, like some grandpa. God, he hopes he gets to be a grandpa before he almost dies again.

Then again, considering the fact that he argued to come back to the place that's tried to killed them like twenty times in the past three years...

He's probably got enough grey hair enough to count anyways.

But he couldn't let them hold him back, not when he knew, when he had a gut feeling that Eddie. Wasn't. Dead.

Dustin stared at him blankly before his face scrunched up into the most pissed-off expression Steve's ever seen from the kid.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Steve, you - no, fuck you, get -" He shoved himself away and stomped out of the room. "Fuck off!"

Steve sighs. He should have been more - tactful about how he said it but - he knows, somehow, he just can't explain it. Maybe he's wrong but - but it's his gut that made him run back to the Byers' house way back then, it's his gut that made him stick with the kids when Dart went missing, it's his gut that made him talk shit at those fucking Russian interrogators and he's made it through every time. So he's trusting his gut.

Fuck.

What was that?

Spinning around, Steve arms himself with his axe. It's a different weight than the bat but he thinks it's like, narratively appropriate or whatever.

Something leaps at him and he swings, chopping at a massive demodog. Fuck, is it a pack?

There are more, surrounding him, he's ready, but they stay back. He wants to flinch at their growls but he can't, he has to find -

A creature, almost like a demogorgon, crawls through the crowd of dogs. Steve's grip on his axe tightens as it slinks closer and looks down at him and it's -

"Eddie!" Steve almost laughs but - "Eddie?"

But his gut tells him to run away.

With an animalistic roar, Eddie-not-Eddie lunges at Steve. He dodges, barely remembers not to swing, and runs back. The - the not-Eddie growls, maybe at him, maybe at the dogs, and circles around Steve like some kind of messed up predator.

"Come on, Eddie," Steve hates begging, he hates it, but he has to. "I don't know what happened but -"

Eddie snarls, lunging again and Steve barely dodges, and he begs, and Eddie almost gets him and he dodges and it keep going on and on.

It takes ages, they keep circling each other while the demodogs watch like some messed up gladiator battle. It's fucking frustrating.

"You piece of shit," Steve pants, but Eddie's breathing heavy too which means it can't be hopeless. "You just gonna let Vecna tell you what to do, huh? So much for sticking it to the man -"

The demodogs shriek, throwing Steve off so Eddie can leap at him and they're on the ground.

"I came here," Steve grits his teeth, ignoring the sparks of searing pain running up his back as Eddie digs him deeper into the ground. He pushes back, the axe held between them. "For you, jackass. Because Dustin needs you. He - agh - he looks up to you."

Eddie somehow tosses the axe away and Steve has to grab his hands before they can claw at his face.

He doesn't say anything.

The dogs howl.

"Are you listening to me, Eddie?" Steve yells, pushing back against Eddie's grip. His jaw aches and he pushes up as hard as he can, until they're nose-to-nose, hands shaking against each other's. "You're Dustin's hero!"

He just keeps snarling, not even flinching at the sound of Dustin's name and something in Steve snaps.

"So fucking act like it!"

Steve smashes his head onto Eddie's, stumbling back as the creature falls to the ground with a howl. Shit, at least his ears aren't ringing too hard.

"What the fuck, Steve?!" gripes a hoarse voice in front of him and Steve would laugh out of sheer, crazy relief for it. "What was that for?"

"Shut the fuck up, Munson," Steve inhales shakily. Fuck, he shouldn't be this weak from a headbutt, right? "You're the one who...who -"

"Wh - woah, easy, I gotcha." Something's holding on to him. Maybe he's holding on to someone? He doesn't know, everything's too heavy, too foggy. It all blends together. "Steve? Hey, hey, stay with me, come on!"

"Gotta get up," Steve mumbles as the light fades away. He thinks he feels someone's hand in his hair, familiar but cold.

You'll need more grey than this, Steven.

And then nothing but darkness.

[formulapookie]

AMA!!!! per le fanciction angst se ti va O e beznaia, se puoi con happy ending pero se preferisci solo angst va bene uguale! Ti lascio alla tua ispirazione!!!

Ti manderei una jorge/pecco ma angst? Io li voglio veder scopare

Bez is out the championship fight.

With just two races to go, even if he won both sprints and long races he wouldn't clench the title.

Pecco and him - they've been growing apart during the fight.

After the Aprilia came to be a true war machine and both him and Jorge jumped on podiums with Marc and Pecco, the latter had distanced himself, day by day, until they didn't even sleep in the same bed anymore.

Pecco hadn't bothered with giving an explanation or finding an excuse for what was happening.

Bez had tried so hard to get his Pecco back, to have hugs, kisses, hand holding, anhything.

Pecco just acted like they weren't worth it. He refused any kind of physical contact.

And naturally Bez couldn't bare this.

They have been broken up for two months now.

And Bez was the one to take it worse between the two.

He had cried in Maro's arms for hours after it happened, sobs turning into incoherent words and then to quiet tears, it was a long night.

Now, after all he sacrificed to be there, he sees his chances at the title slip away for a crash, caused by the fucking bike and its hydraulic problems.

He watches the remaining 5 laps from his garage, no one coming close to him.

Pecco wins, extends the advantage to 10 points to Marc and 13 to Jorge.

The evening of the race he's outside the hotel, he's picked up the habit of smoking after races, especially the bad ones.

It soothes his nerves, and in general he likes the burning sensation of it in his lungs.

He enjoys being there alone, but peace never lasts long.

Pecco comes out the hotel door, and once he spots Bez he goes up to him.

"It's not good for you, you know?" "Fuck off"

Pecco is surprised by the answer, not that he expected Bez to be lovely and kiss him but this is not Bez at all.

"Angry?" "Francesco I told you to fuck off" "Ok angry"

Bez doesn't look at him. He keeps staring at the same point for two minutes, Pecco stands beside him.

"I'm sorry for your crash, I wanted to know if you were ok. And I'm sorry for the championship too"

Bez snorts out a laugh, throwing the cig to the ground and putting it out.

"Oh so now you care?" Bez has tears in his eyes, but they don't spill.

"Now, after I'm not a fucking threat anymore, you suddenly give a fuck about me and how I am. Oh please Francesco you could've just not asked, it would've been better"

"No Marco I- of course I care about you, you are -" "What am I? Huh? And don't fucking dare say I'm your best friend, cause we stopped being that long ago, and I remind you you broke up with me two months ago, out of the blue, not to mention the one month prior where you treated me like shit"

"I'm sorry"

"I don't give a fuck about you being sorry. I cared at first, when you broke my heart and left me on the street like a stray dog. Cause that's what I was to you no? A dog you kept with you because I was oh so loyal and oh so obedient. You enjoyed it? Having your little toy with you all the time? Tell me Francesco, you enjoyed fucking me and then tossing me aside when I expired? You enjoyed having me be so stupidly in love with you I didn't see you didn't care about me and staying by your side?"

Pecco feels sick to his stomach, he didn't think Bez would ever think he used him.

"Bez no you - I didn't keep you, I never considered you to be a toy or anything close to it, I do care about you, I always cared, and I 'll do it forever, no no Bez I did't mean to - I didn't want this to happen"

"You care? YOU CARE? Where was this care when I cried for two hours in Maro's arms because you left me? Where was it when I got a panic attack because I thought I did something wrong and you hated me, and I called you because you were the only one I could trust, and you answered with a text telling me to sleep it off? Where was the care? I was so fucking sure for once someone saw me as more than just a body, but you just burnt down every little ounce of self confidence I had. You didn't mean for this to happen? YOU broke up with me, not another person, you"

At this point Bez's eyes hurt, they're full of tears, a pinching sensation to them.

"You just act like you care now because I can't win your precious fucking championship anymore. But as soon as I'm in the run for it again you'll break my heart again, and sorry if I don't want this to happen"

Bez doesn't want to keep on with this conversation, it's too much skin exposed, too much teeth bare.

He needs to go away, get far from Pecco's smell of citrus and mint and his stupid words.

"Bez-" "Stop. Stop it. I don't want to hear anything coming from you. I hope you fucking lose the championship, this way maybe you'll understand how it is to lose the most important thing in your life from one day to another"

Bez doesn't turn around when he walks back to the hotel entrance. Doesn't turn around when he hears his ex lover call for him. Doesn't turn around when a feeling of wrongness eats him whole.

And Pecco desperately tries to run after him, chase what he left months ago to clench a title he saw as worth more than love.

He sees now how stupid of a move it was, how foolish of him it was to leave behind the love of his life for the untamed need to win win win

So he's left like this, before an Hotel entrance, alone, stripped of his dignity, the smell of smoke hung in the air, littering his oxygen.

The extinguished cig being the only permance of Bez in his life now.

ANGST PROMPTS

[kaaaaaaarf]

Chapter 7 of everywhere, everything by @lynxindisguise is up, so I have updated the playlist! I'm going to be real with you, this one made me feel feelings.

Universe 95: Musicians song lyrics and meanings behind the cut (spoilers if you haven't read the chapter!)

+ Through Me (The Flood) by Hozier

Even though this chapter takes place in the 90s, Sirius is very much a Hozier-like musician, singing political songs disguised as love songs. This song felt appropriate.

And he swims on Turning back to shore again Above the outer atmosphere Of a world he's never seen And looking down to his new home He feels the rising of a wave and knows at once He will not weather it Like that man I looked down into the depths when I met you I couldn't measure it Any time I'd struggled on Against the course, out on my own Every time, I'd burn through the world, I'd see That the world, it burns through me But when I'd let go (I'd let go)

+ Thinking About You by Radiohead

A classic 90s song with a dash of longing. I think this one is this universe's Remus during the years before he got with Kingsley and after whatever happened between him and Sirius fizzled out.

Been thinking about you, your records a hit Your eyes are on my wall, your teeth are over there But I'm still no one, and you're not a star What do you care? [...] I've been thinking about you, so how can you sleep? These people aren't your friends, they're paid to kiss your feet They don't know what I know Why should you care, when I'm not there? Been thinking about you, and there's no rest Shit, I still love you, still see you in bed But I'm playing with myself? What do you care when I'm not there?

+ Lover You Should Have Come Over by Jeff Buckley

I couldn't get through the playlist for this chapter without some Jeff Buckley. This is very much Sirius regretting his choices in the past.

Sometimes a man gets carried away When he feels like should be having his fun Much too blind to see the damage he's done Sometimes a man must awake to find that Really he has no one So I'll wait for you, love And I'll burn Will I ever see your sweet return? Oh, will I ever learn? Oh-oh, lover, you should've come over 'Cause it's not too late [...] It's never over My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder

+ Your Needs, My Needs by Noah Kahan

Both Sirius and Remus in this chapter seem to have different needs that keep them apart.

Oh well, who was I? Who was I to watch you wilt? You ain't gotta tell me what it means Trace the outlines of your dreams You'll always be a flower on my skin And the pain that I am in It's all the same The losing touch, the waiting game You cross that county line I promise to be there this time, alright? You were a work of art That's the hardest part Howling like dogs in the light of the moon Holding our breath after 1:32 You asked me why I wasn't sayin' a word I'm namin' the stars in the sky after you

+ Lovers In A Dangerous Time by Barenaked Ladies

This one for me is very much original universe Sirius and Remus. It's a cover from the 90s and also features some strings, so I felt it fit very well.

Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by? We never get to stop and open our eyes One minute you're waiting for the sky to fall And next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all Lovers in a dangerous time [...] When you're lovers in a dangerous time Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight

+ The Look You Give That Guy by The Eels

Sirius wants to be in Kingsley's shoes so bad.

I'm nothing like what I'd like to be I'm nothing much I know it's true I lack the style and the pedigree And my chances are so few That look you give that guy I wanna see Looking right at me If I could be that guy Instead of me I'd give you all I got I never thought that I could be so bold To even say these thoughts aloud But if, let's say, it won't work out You know where I can be found

+ Paper Thin Motel by Matt Maltese

I included this cover to honour everyone's new favourite thruple. May Sirius, Kingsley and Remus be happy for many moons.

The walls of this hotel are paper-thin Last night I heard you making love to him The struggle mouth to mouth and limb to limb The grunt of unity when he came in I stood there with my ear against the wall I was not seized by jealousy at all In fact a burden lifted from my soul I heard that love was out of my control

[lynxtopia]

Can I trouble you for your personal headcannons for the Dolls?

OF COURSE OF COURSE!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH

Well let's see,,, I have headcanons for most bits of the group as a whole (Löwenzahn included)

No particular order, I write them as I remember them lmfao 😭

Im so sorry if these seem all over the place, these are the ones I can remember off the top of my head with a few hours of sleep, I have a big document somewhere with a load of info in it for a project. I'll reference that when I get my hands on it again.

Also most of these are more lighthearted than you'd expect to some degree lol I'm better at remembering the stupid stuff rather than the angst stuff.

I personally believe Enero's got quite a posh background. That little interaction with Karin cemented that in stone for me. She's got a lot of money and likes to dish it out, although she occasionally relies on bribery to get her way.

The Löwenzahn are a mix of former infantry soldiers and kidnapped Doll candidates. The amount of troops is pretty much unknown because Bison likes to spread them out across the globe, moving them about more than the actual soldiers.

Février's visor is a cover-up for bad eyesight. A friend of mine mentioned it in a fic they wrote once and I stole the headcanon for myself. She didn't want to wear glasses because she thought they'd make her look like a nerd. Now she realises they make her look hot.

Santamu used to have a mini wardrobe of coats and other outerwear for Kiki whenever they got send out to colder areas. Aprile wasn't really the biggest fan of the whole thing.

Noembelu is/was very close to März. She knew she was quite shy and not very good at the whole socialising bit so she used to stick close to her to comfort. A bit like a cheetah/emotional support dog dynamic except the emotional support dog is secretly a cheetah with the same issues.

Xiayu, Jianyu, Cammy and Decapre have all tried talking to each other telepathically before, not that it's ever worked. (They got the idea from watching a cartoon about having twin powers or something like that.)

Prior to Kiki, the group had actually snuck another pet into the barracks. A fucking Komodo Dragon... at Satsuki's request.

Enero and Noembelu continuously try to have a conversation in Spanish, although, because of the differences between Latin American and European Spanish it generally becomes a huge mass of "What? Fuck you, slow down. Huh? What does that mean?" Etc.

The youngest Löwenzahn recruit was about 12. How she got there was unknown. All that mattered was that the older ones kept her as safe as they could.

A lot of the recruits (at least past-1991-2 recruits) are actually raised into the system. Same with the soldiers. They're taken at fairly young ages and raised within the facility. The distress this programme caused worldwide continued to feed Bison's never ending joy.

Noembelu hates her original name. After joining Shadaloo, she began to think that calling her family naming her "Little" was insulting. She doesn't see it like that anymore, but she still believes that Little Eagle was a different person to who she is now.

Xiayu frequently scares the others with her Opera makeup + skills. Practising Shua Ya has scared the shit out of Jianyu more than I can count.

Santamu used to do javelin and was really good at it, hence why she chose her weapon to be a spear. Although sometimes she wished she had chosen a weapon other than just that.

There was a group, a test group, prior to the main Dolls. Most of the information on them was burned. Some say there were two, others say three, five etc. Most people accept that the initial group are 6-feet under. However, the sites conspiracy theorists think otherwise.

Juni is forever crushing on at least three girls at the same time, whether she realises it or not.

Cammy remembers a lot of things the others don't, despite her amnesia. Only thing is,is that she remembers them only when under the influence.

Enero and Jianyu scrap constantly. No reason to, they just leap at each other at any given moment.

The rank system in place for the group is kind of complicated. There are a ton (sometimes a rank only having one person in it.) And difficult to go through just by memory. The main Dolls unit typically holds the highest, or highest achievable, rank in their selected area of expertise. The only ones that don't apply to this are Enero, Jianyu, Xiayu and Juni, as the last three don't really have an area of expertise aside from Close Quarters. Enero is excluded because she holds the rank just below General. Bison keeps her there because it keeps her loyal.

Jianyu and Juni hold Colonel-equivalent ranks, Jianyu having hers because Bison was very amused by her and Enero's constant fighting and Juni because she can be trusted enough to hold such an important title.

Xiayu is a Major. Jianyu promises not to tease her about it but sometimes she likes to test how far she can push her luck before she tries to break her nose.

März frequently has to be the one changing the HDMI cables and having to explain all the different channels. (She likes doing it when she has the confidence).

Whilst it is typically Mid and High-Ranks jobs to teach the Apprentice Dolls, sometimes the main group get assigned about a troop to train.

Février eats crayons... dun dun dunnn...

Decapre struggles quite a bit with anxiety. She holds some resentment towards Cammy, but can't bring herself to do any proper damage for fears of hurting her and herself. Although, this mindset changes during Ultra IV because now they've done some weird tests on her.

The girls have combined their weapons before. Satsuki and Février made Murasame (katana #1) into a makeshift bayonet, which worked as well as you would expect it to.

Aprile secretly wishes that she could've done more for the group whilst at Shadaloo, fearing she may have been too harsh on them during their time there. Nobody thinks bad of her, just she thinks they believe she's a failure, just a tiny remnant of her past that she's clung onto.

März' consciousness still exists, although where and what it was put into is unknown. Fangs torture machine? Seth 6.9? A spare body? Cammy has a feeling she's still out there somewhere, much like Bison. Although, unlike Dictator, she believes she'll come back against Shadaloo.

Jianyu and Xiayu currently get their funds via Contract Killing. Who or what they work for is unbeknownst to them. They just get paid... Also the reason why Xiayu still has the face paint. She's ashamed of their current state and wishes for better. Oh and because she doesn't want to be recognised by the police.

Santamu is part of Neo-Shadaloo, although on more of an external branch. She let them keep Kiki because she immediately connected with the drastic amounts of chaos.

Anne and Bess did exist, although, their records were wiped, anybody involved was forced to sign an NDA, and they were buried under the main Shadaloo site to avoid any civilian discovering them at some point.

And that's about it for now. Thank you for inquiring! I'll be sure to have my notes on me for the ones I didn't mention next time lol.

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Untitled

This has been a strange week, A. I mean you know I have to talk to you today on my break at work (taking at least 2 today because it's sloooooow).

The Boy wrote his English 101 Dual Credit essay about you this week. He warned me.

"Mom, I have to write about 'an experience that made me appreciate life.' I'm gonna write about A dying. I really can't think of writing about anything else that won't come out sounding like bullshit. I still need you to look at it before I turn it in, because you're a writer and it makes me feel better when you say it's not shit, even though it comes with the Mom Discount. But I know it might like...upset you."

Of course I told him to write about you. I told him I wanted to read it (truth). I told him to actually print out a copy because I don't want it lost to the ethereal, nebulous world of online-only assignments; it's something my son made to honor my best friend. I want to save it forever. I want it immortalized (also truth). But it was fucking hard to read it. He took it hard when you died, and I knew he did before reading his school work (obviously), but Christ, how connected the two of you are. The locket J got me connects everyone in the center but you and the Boy are connected on a hinge side, and that locket pops open on that hinge at work all the time. So I'll look down and have to close it back up, and every time it's you and my son looking back at me. It's never you and my grandparents or J and my son, or J and my grandparents. It's always you and the Boy. You helped him so much. I want you to know that. He turned it in yesterday after titling it. 'Loss and Acceptance.' It's hard to title things. Especially when you write something important to you; something difficult to say; something attached to a lot of complex feelings. That's why my essay is untitled.

Then last night I sat on the couch with J and he cried watching a YouTube video of a BBC news capture of Jon Bon Jovi (right?) LITERALLY talking someone off a ledge in Nashville, Tennessee where he was shooting a music video. J cried. He leaves for his bike trip with W and the boys tomorrow morning. So this conversation happened:

Me: You ok? 🥺

J: 🥺😥 (hands over his phone with the video restarted; it was moving, but it didn't make ME cry)

Me: I'm lost. 🫤 I don't know what's getting to you this much. Text me? (J and I often text each other when our bodies are literally touching. Sometimes it's easier to not say it out loud).

J: (both of us are texting now) I dunno, peaches.

Me: Do you feel like...that? (that = suicidal) 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

J: No. Just got to me how many people walked on by.

Me: He didnt. ❤️🥹

J: Yeah. ❤️

Me: Is the stuff with your dad getting to you more than you're telling me? I don't want you to go off Saturday morning feeling so down. ❤️

J: I feel guilty about going. 🫤

Me: Why? Won't lie. I don't like it when you're away, but I want you to go see your friends. W. Fuck, I'd give everything I have except you and the Boy for a week with A right now.

J: That's kind of why. If I don't go, what if something happens to W before I get another chance to see him? Or me even? I'd feel like shit. So I have to go. But I'm leaving you and the Boy. And fucking G. That damn dog. Because what if something happens to one of us while I'm away? I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Me: We're fine. I promise. We just like having you around. Go be with W because...damn I really would give anything to be with A. For even an HOUR.

J hugged me until we all left the living room for bed. We made love last night before we went to sleep. And I dreamed all night about you. That you weren't really dead (again). Everywhere I went, when J was away on this trip, you were with me. 'I can't believe we're at a sushi place right now,' you'd say. 'What the fuck am I supposed to eat here?! Boy used to be on my side. What happened to pizza, man? Your mother finally infected you with her adventurous eating...' I'd look around at family dinner at my parents' house without J and you'd be there. Literally saying, 'I'm still here.'

I fucking miss you so bad. J has never gone away without you being there to text me off my metaphorical ledges and now you're not. Now I'm left with a bunch of people who will just pass me by. I'm so fucking ragingly envious of J that he gets a week with his best friend while I'm so desperately missing mine. I know the dream is supposed to be that I DO get a week with my best friend. That it's somehow 'better' in a way because you'll be right next to me, even in places you'd never ever go with me alive, but I still don't want you to be dead. I'd trade this intangible constancy even at the sushi joint for sporadic texts and bad Pearl Jam jokes in a heartbeat. I'd trade no sushi ever for pizza once a year with you. I'd certainly trade a visit to the fucking cemetery every few weeks to seeing you in person one more time, period. I'd still rather all of this be fake and you're not really even dead, just orchestrating a supremely elaborate scheme to avoid me.

There's every supposed stage of grief in one essay. Except of course for acceptance. That's why I had the Boy print his out for me. I'll keep rereading it until it takes. That still might be never. 💔😭

Anyway, love you, you fucker. I'll see you Monday at your place. ❤️

[rogertaylorshbb]

movie theater- roger Taylor fanfic - {part 1}

new fanfic, hope you enjoy!!

you swung the door open wanting to drop to the floor. you had been out partying all night and it took you an hour to find your new apartment. you walked in immidently kicking off your heels and dropping on the couch.

"hey y/n, how was the party-" you friend said as she came in the room to look at you "you look like shit"

"mhm, I feel shit to, damn that party was wild" you mumbled laying on your stomach.

"hmm, i can tell" your friend whispered and you could tell there was a smile plastered on her face

"so...you get laid-"

"don't-" you cut her off.

"so you did??" she questioned excitedly running over to you.

"no" you said digging your head further into the pillow on the couch.

"hm, sucks for you, but anyway I was gonna go to the theaters tomorrow afternoon, wanna come?" she said.

"sure, I mean, if I'm not too hungover" you answered barley keeping your eyes open.

"ok, you look tired, we can talk in the morning, good night y/n" she said as she brought a blanket over you.

*next Morning*

you woke up to your friend shaking your shoulder, you felt like shit from the other night, maybe you shouldn't drink that much on a Friday night.

"hey, the movie will be in about 2 hours, do you wanna sleep or get ready and come" she whispered.

you laid there for a bit thinking, would you rather sleep in of go see a movie...

"what movie?" you said.

"an old film"

"ill get my favorite jumper" you said forcing your mess of a self off the couch.

you and your friend got ready and decided to walk since it was only 5 minutes. that's one of the benefits of your apartment you would only have to walk 5 minutes to get where all the shops were.

-in the theater-

you and your friend walked in, you with a huge bucket of buttery popcorn in your hands.

you looked around. there wasn't many people. from what you could see there was an old woman sitting way to close to the screen, a man in his mid 40s sitting at the end of a row and four guys, early-mid 20s in the back rows. you could see the four boys messing around. one of them was hitting the one beside them while the other two were dying of laughter.

"come, lets sit here, its perfect" your friend said guesting over to you.

you sat 3 seats ahead of the four guys.

the movie started and you got comfortable putting the popcorn in the middle and putting your knees up under your chin.

"excited?" your friend whispered.

"eh" you replied.

------20 minutes into the movie---

as you sat there you heard some rustling in the back, you turned your head to see what the racket is, it was the four boys fighting over something jokingly, they started to laugh, it annoyed you how loud they were being but you weren't to invested in on the movie so you didn't say anything.

---------50 minutes into the movie-----

the boys in the back had been making noise ALOT. they would do a little chuckle then they would stop, then after 25 seconds of them being quiet and you thinking they had stopped there's another annoying little sound from one of their mouths. It was starting to piss you off but you just ignored it.

-------1 hour and 20 minutes into the movie-----

you started to get insanely invested into the movie, but every time you would watch there would be a chuckle or a yelp or just anything. those four boys were now on your death list.

just as you were gonna ignore it you heard one of the boys again that just set you off.

"HAHAHA STOP- BRIAN" one of the boys said loudly

you got up from your chair and turned around

"HEY, YEAH- YEAH YOU-" you said pointing "COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOUR AND SHUT UP? HUH? JUST TILL THE MOVIE ENDS???" you shouted angrily.

"stupid dogs" you whispered as you calmed down and sat back down.

the boys seemed to be in shock, but it seemed to work cause you didn't even hear a single whisperer from them after.

*after the movie*

after the movie ended you and your friend got up and walked out. as you were walking out you heard a voice behind you.

"hey, girl" the voice called out.

you and your friend turned around, and blonde guy ran up to you wearing sunglasses.

"um, hi, uh I just wanted to say, and also on behalf of my three friends over there, that um were sorry for being loud during the movie, it was an asshole thing to do" he said rubbing his hands together nervously.

he gave a smile and looked back at his friends. his friends were talking near the theater door.

"oh no, its ok, I over reacted, but thank you for the apologize I guess" you said awkwardly not expecting an apologize.

"hey, I'm gonna go out for a smoke" you friend said quietly and she nudged your shoulder.

you nodded at her. now you were standing infront of this random blonde guy who you didn't know.

he looked down to the ground taking his sungalesses off "um, also- I was uh- wondering if you- you know- would maybe- um- like to go out, or just hang..."

you raised an eyebrow at him, he was actually pretty cute for coming over and saying sorry, also he was- he was pretty good looking. that beautiful smile, and these amazing blue eyes with eyelashes better then yours.

"sure, I'm y/n"

"roger, nice to meet you"

you chuckled "was it? I did shout at you"

he chuckled back "well, its nice meeting you now".

he grabbed a piece of paper from his pocket and wrote his phone number on it.

"give me a call, y/n" he said handing it to you.

"ok, roger, I will, bye" you waved at him as you walked out.

*the next day.....

@sarcastic-sourwolf

[deatheatet]

So, everybody. Z-Dog x Walker One-shot won the poll so here it is

-Zhang's POV-

Z-Dog was standing with me when the rest of the squad was supposed to wake up. I know it botheres her that neither Mansk nor Walker were in our group,that she had to wait longer.Z had been chewing on the inside of her mouth for nearly twenty minutes. I made a mental note to tell the Colonel to get Z some gum,force if he had to. Z never realized she was doing it,so I nudged her with my elbow and she looked at me

"Hell was that for?"Z asked

"Your chewing your cheek"I told her. She hissed,still weird knowing we hiss like cats now, and cursed.

"Goddamn it! What the f-" She cut her swearing off with a pissed look. I remember her say something about it being subconscious I think. Well if she didn't get any gum at least Ja might be able to do something,or keep a bunch of extra packs on him like when we were human When it came time for the next group of our squad to wake up,Me, Z-Dog and Fike were there so no one pulled another Colonel,woke up and went to swinging when they see blue. Next group was Mansk,Warren,Walker,Ja and Prager.Z-dog went to Mansk first. I helped out Warren, people actually thought we were a couple as humans,but we're both straight as Lyle's sniper shots. Well,Warren was bi,so was I,we just preferred women. After Z-Dog heard Walker grumble a little and shoved the scientists away Snarling "Get that fuckin light outta her goddamn eyes"

-Walkers Pov-

My eyes fluttered open and i blinked away some blurriness,and saw an avatar.... She looked familiar till "Hey there Baby. glad to see ya woke up" My ears shot up in recognition, fuckin great,that means I'm Blue...and dead. It was... Was it really,Z... the answer was yes,once I saw the tattoos, always with the fuckin tattoos.

"Z?" I asked, Christ my voice was fucked up, sounds like I choked a little to much.

"Good mornin Sleeping Beauty" Z smiled,it all fell back in place so easy. Our normal teasing,our jokes and everything. "Still sexy,even in blue baby" Z said winking at me when I raised up,and realized that my fuckin ass was showing because of the Fucking gown those damn science pukes put me in. "Funny, asshole"I retorted grinning a little.

After a couple hours and the Colonel's briefing,he must have been good to make a joke dispite having woken up swinging at his squad. Everything pretty much was the same for all of us,We were just taller,bluer and had tails with fangs. Wasn't much fun goin to the gym when we got so fuckin exhausted after only a couple hours,used to be we could go for damn near a day. Didn't matter, Colonel was assigning bunk mates now anyway,no doubt everyone would end up with their favorite team mate. Meaning Fike and I will be bunking, hopefully.

-Z-Dogs POV -

"Alright,all ya shut yer traps" Colonel said,his way of announcing bunk pairings were coming.

"All right so unfortunately,(he grumbles mid sentence "They stupidly forgot there's fuckin 12 of us") We all gotta bunk with someone,but i ain't bunkin with nobody,so there'll be three of ya sharin a room." of course,but I know he just wants some real time to be alone,He had asked bout Paz and the kid not long after waking up..Paz was KIA and no one knows what happened to the kid, wether he stayed,was killed, sent back to earth... Nothing. I got real pissed when I heard they didn't try to watch on the kid,still am actually. Doesn't matter,(It does) Any-Ah shit.

-3rd person POV-

Z spit blood into a trashcan, Quaritch looked at her. 'Remind them damn science pukes to get her some gum' Quaritch thought to himself. Either way he announced "Lyle and Mansk are sharing"

-Walkers Pov-

Ah,Mansk and Lyle. Means Z and I are probably bunking,thank God. I love Fike,he's my best friend,but Z helps with a lot. The list went on after.

Mansk & Lyle

Zhang & Warren

Prager & Ja

Me & Z

Fike,Brown & Lopez,then the Colonel on his own. I'm glad Fike's with Brown and Lopez,yeah they fight a lot but their both close with him. And Brown is a good thing because when Sean has a freak out he usually needs someone to hold him,Brown is his first option. He likes him more than friends but won't admit it because Brown seems straight as an arrow. Hell poor Sean forgets over half of our asses are all bi. The only real straight ones are Colonel,Lyle,Mansk,and Lopez. Ja and Prager honestly give me mixed signals on which one they are.

-Z-Dogs POV-

Thank God. I love Mansk but I wanna talk to Walker about some stuff.

After some more working out it was Lights out. There were bunks in the room,not bunk beds thank God. Walker was in the shower when I got there so I just put on some sweats and took my shirt off. So now I was in my sports bra and my sweats, honestly more modest than how I slept as a human. I was checking out a holo pad when Walker finished her shower.

-Walkers POV-

I finished my shower and dried off. I put on some shorts and my sports bra, basically a sleep version of my regular outfit. Either way I'm to damn tired for anything so I head out and Z's on the bed messing with a holo pad, probably trying to find a movie to watch. "Hey Z" my voice sounds weird,it's just. God I don't know how to explain it.

"Hey" Z responded, looking up at me. God,we spent so many nights together as humans why is it so weird being alone now in these bodies.

-Z-Dogs POV-

Walker looked nervous, can't blame her. No predicting these new bodies but it was something else,I can tell. She's shifting around and she won't look at me,and the tail gives it away.

"Hey, Maria?"

-Walkers POV-

"Hey Maria?"

My head snaps over,Z never calls me Maria like I never call her Alicia, unless it was when we were Fucking,well then we only said each other's first names when we were making love. If we were Fucking...eh I don't wanna mention what we called each other.

"What's wrong,Sweet girl?" Z asked turning my face to her and gently holding her hand to my cheek once I sat down on the bed. I sighed "Sort of. I'm happy we're together but..." I felt blood rush to my face,the second I said this I wasn't living it down

[amanyxia]

At first, I was skeptical that anything could sway me from alcohol. And then I met Shrooms last fall.

The first trip was mixed with alcohol, not what I intended but the friend we tripped with was drinking and I felt like I should join. I am bad at saying no to things bad for me. It was okay though, the trip was okay, although I didn't feel much besides nonstop crying and laughing.

The second "trip" was solo and I ate about half a homemade brownie and ended up going to sleep two hours later, feeling nothing. After that it had me thinking my medication stopped me from tripping. I'm on Welbutrin though and as far as I've researched those aren't supposed to cause a disruption. Apparently, I was not pleased with the failed research so I stopped the medication a week before my third trip, again solo.

This third trip actually was amazing. Definitely my top experience. No alcohol got involved. It wasn't even a thought. Just the shrooms and green once in a while. I was happy. I was focused and I felt creative. I created many neat photos, got back into tarot, and journaled. I created a system of each room having a different color light. Each color had meaning for things I had to come face to face with. The last light I had to get to was Grief. I acknowledged its existence but stayed away. I have yet to go back to that. I want to though and it is planned eventually. I came out of that trip feeling refreshed. It felt like so much shit was lifted off my back, all these stupid minor problems, no longer screaming in my head. After that, I got back on my Welbutrin and I was still doing fine. I was still drinking here and there but nothing big.

A fourth trip came up where I was solo, but not alone. My boyfriend was home with me that night. I stayed in my living room coloring and listening to music for 5 hours straight. It was very zen, I was too lost in the music and enjoying myself to leave my spot. I didn't want the dog ruining my peace if I got up, he's very excitable and I was not in that mindset to handle such chaos. I was happy but not as happy as my previous trip. There was anxiety around my boyfriend. I was overthinking. "Did he want to trip? Why doesn't he join in? Why doesn't he want to hang out with me?" He was in the bedroom watching TV all night, trying to keep the dog away from me so he didn't disturb me. That's most likely why. But my brain couldn't connect those dots until now as I actually type it out. We've never tripped alone together though. Only with another friend. Which comes the fifth trip. But may I just add, going to the gym coming down from a trip is one of the best feelings I've experienced. The confidence and the focus, I've never felt that before. It was a great new experience.

Fifth trip with our friend yet again. The evening that led up to these events didn't start out great. He was angry. And I was anxious. A window got broken. Nothing bad happened but I get scared around people that are angry. Even if I know they'd never hurt me. I felt safe and more reassured around our friend though once we got to her place to trip for the night. My boyfriend nearly had a panic attack beginning of his trip, thinking his wrist was broken. I was getting that scared feeling again and didn't know what to do to comfort him. Which is typically how I already am normally. I also almost had a panic attack until he eventually got over that wave then I started feeling better. I tried to stay focused on the instruments of the music and the snacks I was munching on, to keep myself grounded. We played Cards Against Humanity until we could no longer read the cards. The green in the bowl I packed for us was breathing as much as her plants and I was melting into the couch feeling nothing but the music. She got up to get a drink which got me curious to drink again. I took the bottle and took a sip, nearly spitting it out before the bottle even left my lips. I felt sick. I needed the bathroom and a moment. We came down with an edible and a movie. Wish I could remember the name. Some really old trippy Disney film. Everything was fine until it wasn't when she nearly tried to start an argument with my boyfriend. Something about like father like son, his dad is an abusive piece of shit. To which he told her to stop and she eventually did. She passed out shortly after and we joined not much longer.

To this day I still think about her. I was depressed a few days later and made a Facebook status. I will not go into it, it wasn't a bad status. There wasn't even full context. But she took it to heart and immediately went off. I felt bad and apologized for a handful of times. That I was depressed and it was just a thought, it wasn't that deep. She kicked us both out of her life and last I heard she's gone off her rocker. Going off on everybody, even family. I think, "Did I cause this?" But then I remind myself it was a minor status with zero context and she refused to communicate properly. I did apologize multiple times as well so what more could I do? I've learned to accept it and move on. I still wish her well and hope she gets better. Maybe something during the trip triggered her and she ended up having a bad time in the end. Or did something happen between her and my boyfriend? They'd been best friends for twenty years so I just found it odd. She's the type that would say something though if something were to happen so I try not to fall down that road again. He doesn't even seem to be bothered by his best friend for that long to cut him out. I still can't wrap my head around it but again, I try not to think about it. He's not good with feelings, to begin with. I had another solo trip a few months later.

My sixth trip, which actually wasn't even supposed to be a trip. I'd been reading up on micro-dosing and wanted to try it for myself. Now before this, I had started drinking more again. I also had stopped my Welbutrin for a whole month, thinking it wasn't even helping. Long story short, it was and I learned the hard way but now I know I need it. My grief was pretty heavy as well. I blended my "micro-dose" into a protein shake only to throw it up probably twenty minutes later. Right away I felt it hit me, I had goofed. I started laughing and saying, "Oh shit." I turned my music on our Bluetooth bathroom light, fancy right? The bass in that cheap thing is so good it had me trapped in the bathroom for a good while. About a good hour later I manage to find my way to the bedroom to watch the Hangover. It was one of my dad's favorites and I enjoyed it just as much. There was a lot of laughter and random tears thrown into the mix. It felt therapeutic. I felt good. Depressed for a while and had a few black-out drinking nights after but I came through and felt better than ever.

Recently, I had a seventh trip. With a different friend. A better friend. It was his first experience and he's been dealing with grief too. It was as chill of a night as we could make it, besides a few people disrupting the peace here and there. It still wasn't awful. I was handed a Four Loko by someone, I didn't want it but I was curious, like always. It was a new flavor or something, I nearly spit that out too. And let me just say I had a few drinks an hour or two before tripping and those had me feeling sick for a while. So, I didn't really want any more alcohol that night. And then I see someone I still care about. "Needing" alcohol. It hurt to see. It was a familiar sight. I wanted to do something but nothing came up, and I just wanted us to have a good time. I had to evacuate, I left the room without looking back. After all, how am I supposed to help someone when I still battle my own demons whenever any minor inconvenience happens?

Right now that I'm writing this experience I've had an open Twisted Tea next to me for a couple hours. I only took one sip of it and it wasn't a good experience. The taste was so bitter. I might even dump it out, and I never believe in dumping out alcohol. Or I might drink it.

The second sip in doesn't taste as atrocious but it's still not enjoyable and I'm no longer in a happy mindset. Depression and irritation are hitting me. Throwing this out is the right thing to do. I don't want to feel worse.

I'm not saying Mushrooms are a cure at all. But my will and care to drink has gone down enormously.

And I'm finally finding the real me. Alcohol and pills blurred my vision so much that I ended up on the wrong path and it feels good to be steered in the right direction.

Don't get me wrong, I still get thoughts almost daily that I need to drink or that I need to pop that bottle of pills. I even still try to physically drink when the cravings hit me too hard, like tonight. That doesn't last long before I get sick.

It's literal fucking poison and I want to stay away. I need to get away. My body can't take it anymore and it's time to listen to those messages now. My dad wouldn't want that life for me, right? He was an addict too.

A relapse will still happen from time to time but shit happens. Sometimes you have to accept that failure and keep learning from it. Eventually, it'll get through to you be it by psychedelics, losing everything/everyone, or even potentially nearly losing your life.

My focus and creativity are back more than ever and I've been at my happiest these past couple of weeks. I seem to learn something new about myself and surprise myself every day, it's become a healthy addiction to keep finding myself and healing from all this trauma.

My depression comes and goes in quick waves now, it doesn't sit and bubble up for weeks and drag me down anymore. I'm still staying on my Welbutrin though, that was an awful episode I put my boyfriend and everyone else through and let's not let that happen again.

Genuinely don't think I would be here if I never met Shrooms though. The grief of my dad leaving this world would have swallowed me whole. But I now know I did all I could and his passing isn't my fault in any way. Cancer is just a bitch.

I'll forever miss you I know you wouldn't want to see me suffer again. So I'll get up and live for you and keep making you proud. I remember you telling me to get out there and live my life and just be happy. Not sad.

I also appreciate the friend that did introduce me, despite kicking me out of her life. I wish nothing but the best for her.