#i mean probably other shows exist that fit this description

[cel-aerion]

Me realizing that what I like in my crime dramas are lead characters who not only pick out details no one else notices and are brilliant in their field and are generally regarded as... let's say "eccentric", who not only resist getting close to others around them because of a condition they have, but also who absolutely refuse to use modern technology if they can at all help it.

[denwritesandcries]

gf!Shauna Shipman HCs

Pairing: shauna shipman x fem!reader

Summary: To be Shauna's girlfriend is… Something else, to say at least.

Word count: 1,4k.

Content: 96’ timeline, cursing, suggestive, kissing, kinda toxic shauna, jealousy, fluff, the team being done with u two.

Note: I think that’s probably a little too long for headcanons but I’m really glad someone asked for it cause I love writing for Shauna sm.

English is not my first language.

- You most likely only spoke to each other because you were paired up on some project in a class that you both hate. A classic, but also one of the few ways for Shauna to actively approach anyone she hasn't known for years or been introduced to by Jackie, the girl isn't very sociable.

- She definitely found the most random and stupid reason possible to not like you at first, just because she enjoys being a little hater.

- Like she doesn't want to meet with you to discuss the topic and just leaves you to do your part alone and you just do it because this quiet girl on the football team is pretty hot and also scares the hell out of you.

- When you guys inevitably put it all together she'd take one look at it and say it's shit and make you do it all from scratch again in like one night as if it was your fault.

- And you simply wouldn't understand why she decided to pick on you. She’d have a beef with you that only exists in her head and you’ll be like??? Wondering why the heck she keeps staring at you like a judging hare even after getting (surprisingly) an A+.

(that’s a strangely accurate description, but you think it fits her perfectly well. Eyes widen following you and nose angrily twitching when you pass by.)

- She has a crush on you. Since the beginning. But she has too many problems to actually admit that to herself.

- She would finally admit that fell for you when she sees you reading something by an author she loves. She's a cliché and a failure, no matter how much she tries to deny it. You'd be in the stands during one of the Yellowjackets' practices (by pure chance, definitely not because you want to watch her too), with a notebook open at your side and a book on your lap, working on an assignment for extra credit, Shauna would see you when she stopped to have some water and she wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the day.

Especially if it was something by Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson or Shirley Jackson. She’d go feral. Seriously.

- Then she finally decides to act (after some suspicious looks from Jackie and screams from Taissa for disturbing everyone during the game) and it's like she was never mean to you. She’ll literally act like she's already your friend because she doesn't know how to apologize and start something properly. Will sit next you in class – and kick out whoever actually sat there – and talk to you normally, looking away and chewing on the end of her pen, speaking in a soft and innocent voice.

- You're very much confused and a little suspicious about all this, but you're not gonna complain about it with her slowly running a hand up your arm and blinking her bright deep eyes at you. Even though she still stares. A lot.

- This is how you get a girlfriend, which isn't really what you expected at all, but it's a pretty welcome change.

- gf!Shauna who only asked you out and took you for a milkshake on your first date, even though she doesn't really like sweets, when she heard Nat tell Van that she was thinking about doing that exactly same thing and finally decided to do something (they did it on purpose, just so that Shauna would stop bothering them with her constant yearning).

- gf!Shauna who accompanies you to all your classes, sometimes even being late for hers. She is so show off carrying your backpack for you and walking close enough for your shoulders to brush and rushing to Jackie's side after opening the door for you.

- gf!Shauna who keeps a hand on you all the time, on your shoulder, on your waist, on your arm, but who is too shy to hold your hand and intertwine your fingers properly. She'll become a mess if you hold her hand in the hallways or in front of the team and pretend like she doesn't like it, complaining that you're being clingy (she won't let you let go of her hand at all though).

- gf!Shauna who is jealous and possessive as fuck, no one is safe from her, not even Jackie. She will shoot daggers with her eyes and scare anyone who even breathes near you in a way that makes her feel insecure. Especially if it's someone on the team. Lottie is usually a recurring target of her reactions, making a point of keeping as much distance as possible from Shauna on the field after she sees her talking to you.

- Will totally pretend not to care and say there's nothing wrong when you ask if she's alright, while silently seething with rage and acting weird towards you, keeping everything to herself until she eventually explodes. gf!Shauna who waits until she's alone to write shit about you and the other person in her diary with a horrible, rushed handwriting.

- gf!Shauna, with whom you have to be really patient.

- gf!Shauna with whom you have study dates where she actually makes you study because she won't admit being with someone with a poor average, but who will start kissing you pretty quick until she ends up straddling you the moment she gets tired and decides you both had enough.

- gf!Shauna who absolutely loves seeing you in the stands during practice or a game. She'll show off like never before as soon as she realizes you've come, especially if you yell or cheer for her when she scores a goal. Nat, Lottie and Tai are rolling eyes hard for you two every single time.

- gf!Shauna who takes you in her car wherever you want and whenever you want, driving with one hand on the steering and an elbow resting on the window. Who looks at you with her big eyes shining like a kicked puppy if you ever say you don't need a ride.

- gf!Shauna who has the worst, most questionable taste in movies ever and who gets outraged if you mention it or try to get her to change her choice on a movie night. She's too stubborn to change her mind, so you settle for admiring her profile and leaning back against her warm body on the couch.

- gf!Shauna with whom you have almost weekly sleepovers because her parents are too oblivious to realize there’s something between you. Sleeping in her bed under the pretext that the floor is too cold and keeping the door closed so as not to bother anyone with your teenage nonsense and loud music. It's the perfect combination.

- gf!Shauna who keeps her favorite polaroids of you on your dates alongside the photos of her and Jackie on her bedroom wall.

- gf!Shauna who's always the big spoon and loves feeling your body against hers. She's practically a furnace, perfect for hiding your face on her neck or chest. The best way to fall asleep is with her arms around you and your face buried in her soft skin.

- gf!Shauna who loves to bite and leave marks for every inch of exposed skin you have. Who bites your shoulder joint and digs her nails into your back when you have her pressed against the mattress or the lockers in the changing room.

- gf!Shauna who goes crazy when she sees you in her clothes, especially her button-down shirts and flannels. Sometimes even hides your clothes just to have the excuse to give you hers, because she doesn't know how to ask you to wear them.

- gf!Shauna who writes cheesy and lame love poems for you like a victorian poet, because she doesn't know how to express herself in words without being on impulse or in a fight. You always praise her and thank her a thousand times for them, without letting her know that you don't understand most of what she writes.

- gf!Shauna who demands you tell her you love her before she does it first. She literally asks for it. And then she only says it back weeks later, rushed and nervous, at the moment you least expect it.

[lurveinn]

I’m so curious about Wizarding fashion. JKR isn’t very physically descriptive- we just know that wizards wear robes, which are outlandish to muggles, and pointy hats, but what does that really mean? What kind of robe? Magical fashion clearly isn’t very gendered, since Harry remarks on a man at the Quidditch World Cup wearing a dress and insisting that it’s unisex (certainly not the case in Britain at the time), but we don’t have any other parameters. Keeping in mind the uniform from the movies, and the fact that in SWM, Snape isn’t wearing any trousers, here’s what I think wizards wear:

1. Flowing silhouettes and cloaks; clearly, wizards love a good statement cloak. Think tassels and frills (not like Ron’s Yule Ball fit!), massive extended sleeves and lots of draping.

2. Skirts: let’s be honest, just one singular robe, without any layering, doesn’t give us much to work with. Skirts go with the general silhouette, explain why the World Cup wizard thought muggle men wore dresses, and keep with the no-trousers thing from SWM. I’m South Asian, so I like to have a little fun with it and think of wizards in ghararas (my favourite item of clothing); the Wizarding World is quite insular, travel is relatively unrestricted (hello, they have magic!), everyone has a common enemy in muggles (and other species- goblins, house-elves) etcetera, so race probably doesn’t function the same way and I headcanon a lot of cross-cultural exchange. Plus, wizarding fashion isn’t restricted by weather- they have warming charms- so wearing clothes made for hot climates in England, for example, wouldn’t be a problem.

Plus, I actually think saris are a natural fancy dress option- flowy, drapey, colourful. Speaking of which-

3. If there’s one fanon idea that I hate (aside from fanon!Sirius, of course), it’s this image of wizards (specifically high society wizards) as reserved. Sorry, did we read the same books? Wizards, even posh, rich wizards, like the Malfoys and Blacks, are camp and very outlandish. They do house-elf taxidermy, they keep their wands in canes. Just because Hogwarts uniforms are black doesn’t mean that people dress like they’re in mourning all the time. People can be total snobs and obsessed with their image and still wear bright pink, insane robes, because guess what? They have different social conventions than we do. Men and women dress basically the same, so there is no reason to believe that a man wearing a flowing robe would be against the norm. I say this as someone who believes misogyny and homophobia are well and truly alive in Wizarding society, especially in pureblooded families where the emphasis is on continuing the line; they definitely exist, but they probably look different.

4. My personal obsession and headcanon: rich wizards wearing bones. Look, I might not think of them as racist in the traditional sense, but they are undeniably speciesist, if that’s a word? They think of themselves as superior, and other sentient magical species either work under (goblins) or are enslaved (house-elves) by wizards. We only see Veelas very briefly, but despite them being admired for their beauty, I doubt wizards treat them very well. So- show me blood-purists wearing corsets made of goblin bones and teeth. Show me Veelas being hunted for their blood to stain and dye clothes with. Show me exotic “magical creatures” that are humanoid and capable of reasoning and should have rights, like mermaids and werewolves, being hunted for their scales and pelts while also being ostracised for being ‘non-human’. It’s terrible, but that’s the kind of archaic jewellery and fashion the old families that the fandom likes to fetishise would like to wear.

[sariels-world-ella]

Can we see more characters from UTY if they were in Sw!Fallenswap? (I think you're Ceroba design and AU's lore is very cool btw)

Sure and thanks! I'll even expand on each of them, though none of it is 100% canon to Sw!Fallenswap, and thought up quickly as they aren't canon.

I couldn't settle on a Azimuth Dalv design but I did make a pacifist route Starlo design, he reminds me of a power ranger for some reason? (It's probably the mask.)

I had to do some math to get it to fit in the Timeline, get everyone's ages and get Martlet's life expectancy and to get Dalv's persumed age by finding the life expectancy of a Fox Anthropomorphic (there is an equation I use to find life expectancies of all the Anthropomorphic races) to see if it lines up in the timeline for Kanako's grandparents to be alive in 1013, as that is the most notable year in the timeline where Anthropomorphics did kill a bunch of Undeads matching Fallen!Dalv's description on why he has beef with the Ketsukanes (though Dalv never mentioned a year). The life expectancy number came out to be 950, then by adding Ceroba's age of 39 (assuming either Ceroba or Chujin's parent(s) had their child near the end of their lifespan) minusing it by 1985, got me 996 which did check out timeline wise.

Character notes:

Clover Notes: Clover doesn't change much from their UTY appearance, changes are they are much more verbal, Clover can save and load, doesn't have Flowey/Temmie because Temmie wasn't made animate until the 90s and they carry around a Polaroid Camera (which was very popular in the 80s), which there are certain spots that you can take a picture of giving you the Achievement "Picture Perfect" and doing them all gives you the achievement "Photographer's Eye"

Clover will become a Myling with the other souls and kill Ultra Temmie in Chara's non-canon neutral ending still. Clover is one of the 11 characters known to be from Gen X.

Unlike Genocide UTY Clover, Genocide Fallen!Clover does die still, due to Sans ripping Clover's heart out and eating it before Clover was able to shoot Toriel, meaning the Clover’s Genocide Route in Sw!Fallenswap could technically be canon if it wasn't directly stated Sans only killed Patience, Bravery, and Perseverance.

The fact Sans was able to sneak up on Clover implies he was expecting Clover to show up, even though Clover managed to enter the castle undetected, so it's likely Dalv conversed with Sans beforehand.

Since Temmie didn't exist yet when Clover was alive, you can wait for Asgore to drop a rope for you gaining the Achievement “Patience is Virtue”, which will cause you to skip the Martlet fight and proceed like normal Undertale except you have to sneak out of ruins which is difficult but worth it as you also skip most of Snowdin as well, because Papyrus saves you from Sans and teleports Clover away,  Papyrus gives you a medallion and tells Clover to show it to Dalv and say “Papyrus sent you” which can skip the Dalv fight (if you so wish) which will get you straight to the portion of attempting to travel to Hotland, the medallion can actually also be used to instantly spare MOST random encounter enemies which will give you the achievement “VIP”

If you don't wait for Asgore to drop the rope the playthrough plays similarly to UTY, but without Flowey or Temmie, if you do a genocide route Dalv won't shapeshift into a wolf and swim you down the river, instead The Boatman (Wingding Gaster) does, but Clover still ends up falling off the dam, but instead of Sans causing a wave from striking a bone wall into the water, Wingding purposely knocks you off the dam knowing what you did.

Either way, you wash up on a Dunes’ shore on 1 HP, which makes the medallion very useful to have if you waited for Asgore to return and got the medallion from Papyrus as it can instantly spare most enemies, so you won't get killed by them before you reach a save point.

Martlet Notes: She's a hermit that lived in the ruins before they were abandoned, she met Chujin before and due to her age she is old enough to have met the Integrity soul who fell down in 1936. She likes jigsaw and logic puzzles, as well as reading textbooks.

She's the only known character from the Cavalier Generation. Her personality seems to be a blend of her original personality and Dalv's

Dalv notes:

Dalv (or Sir Alucard by Ceroba and Officer Alucard by Starlo) His personality is similar to his original and Martlet's, the most notable difference between his personality and UTY!Dalv’s personality is that Fallen!Dalv has much more of a spine when it comes to advocating for himself and speaking his mind, he is much more willing to stand his ground and overall is much more brave, he is also much more willing to use profanity, albeit not in English, usually in Romanian or Monstarian when speaking to another Monster (adult monster that is, as he doesn't swear at children).

Judging by the fact he is stationed in Snowdin but doesn't wear the Snowdin Guard Armor, means he was either off duty when he ran into Clover or not apart of the Snowdin police force, but he is also not wearing a deltarune so being off duty is more likely.

He has beef with The Ketsukanes due to Kanako's Grandparents role in the 1013 Mass Undead Racial Cleansing, but doesn't have that same resentment towards Kanako as she tried to right the wrongs. Judging by the fact Dalv mentioned having parents and a younger sibling, it means Dalv is either a traditional variant (parents are the Elden Variant) as Elden Variants are naturally spawned, or Ancient variant if his parents were Ancestral Undead (once Elves)

Dalv is seen to shapeshift into a bat and a wolf before, bat when trying to escape with Clover and when they dropped over a waterfall and a wolf when swimming in the river with Clover on his back to try to get to Hotland.

As a Vampire, like all Undeads, he does have telekinesis and teleportation, so in his fight Blue Soul Mode is used for some attacks. Instead of Puzzles in Snowdin, he sets up riddles due to his love of storytelling.

It’s implied Dalv likely conversed with Sans before the Azimuth Dalv fight due to the fact Sans was able to ambush Clover before Clover could kill Toriel, which isn't unlikely as they are both on the royal guard and Dalv seems to be on a first name basis with Sans as Dalv said “Sans, you're a tâmpit!" instead of “Sir Gaster, you're a tâmpit!” (tâmpit which in this case means "asshole" in Romanian) when Sans causes Dalv and Clover to get washed over the dam, this is notable because Royal Guards only refer to each other by first name if A.) They don't have one (which Sans does, it's “Gaster”) or B.) They are on frequent speaking terms outside of the Royal Guard, this means Dalv and Sans must converse frequently outside of guard duty to know each other's first names.

Genocide phases:

Dalv is in his normal form, and his fight is a harder version of his pacifist/neutral fight

When Dalv gets low on HP he injects something (either DETERMINATION or SPITE) into himself, which turns him into Azimuth Dalv

Once killed Dalv's Shade spawns, like all Shades in Sw!Fallenswap, it has high attack and defense but only one HP, meaning you have to do all the shots perfectly with the wild revolver to actually kill him, any mistake won't be enough damage to get through the Shade's Defense.

He seems to inject himself with either DETERMINATION or SPITE at the end of Genocide, due to the fact in that scenario DETERMINATION will turn a monster into a Draugr and races in the Undead Monster Type will not have that reaction to DETERMINATION but neither would SPITE as it creates a Shade after dying and doesn't put them into a temporary state, so it's unknown what caused that reaction, but it's still likely SPITE instead which explains why Dalv was able to handle it so easily and not melt as SPITE destroys light mana in a Monster’s soul while DETERMINATION melts it, but since Undead Souls have Dark Mana instead, SPITE doesn't harm their soul. It also explains why phase 3 Dalv is a Shade. It is also more likely to be SPITE instead of DETERMINATION, as that would be easier to acquire, only way Dalv would get his hands on DETERMINATION is if he extracted it from Undyne, though he does know her, Undyne would likely try to stop Clover herself. The way Dalv could get his hands on SPITE would be extracting it from Sans or another Undead, though Dalv did call Sans an asshole and Sans did cause a massive wave which caused Dalv and Clover to get washed over the dam and fall into the Dunes area in a Pacifist and neutral run, Sans would likely be willing to extract SPITE from himself to give to Dalv, and not go and fight Clover instead like Undyne would, as he is more likely to stay at New Home to defend Toriel which Sans does successfully in Clover's genocide run as he does very graphically and violently kill Clover.

Starlo Notes: he seems to work with Ceroba in some way, despite not being in the royal guard, he is either a part of the boomer generation or Silent generation in the case Starlo is a year older than Ceroba. Like his original counterpart, he had a crush on Ceroba and knew her since childhood, though unlike his UTY!Counterpart as he doesn't have this North Star Persona, he is more open about his nerdy side and seems to be rather intelligent when figuring out how to defeat the robots in Steamworks. Since Starlo has no attachment to Kanako's robots, killing Axis or Guardener will not abort the pacifist route, he's just relieved you made it out okay.

His personality is similar to UTY, but his temperament seems much more like UTY!Ceroba, he injected Chujin with the serum made from the Kindness Soul, because Chujin tricked Starlo into injecting Kanako's concoction into Chujin thinking it as harmless leaving Starlo into believing he accidentally killed Chujin, but he never told Ceroba this. Starlo also only tries to kill Clover as a mercy-kill-last-resort type thing because if Clover makes it to Toriel, Toriel will burn Clover alive resulting in a painful death, if Clover isn't handed over to Toriel, Clover will die of heart failure due to vitamin D deficiency, and if Clover somehow manages to kill Toriel the underground will possibly go into anarchy, so Starlo attempts to kill Clover in Pacifist route realizing these 3 outcomes.

Ceroba notes: Ceroba (or Sherif Ketsukane by Dalv) is an abrasive personality, and unlike UTY!Starlo she is affiliated with the Royal Guard, as Sherif and Dune's Police Chief are the same occupation in the Dunes region of the Underground, and unlike UTY!Starlo but like UTY!Ceroba, she has an antagonistic role. Ceroba will lash out at Clover if you kill Starlo, but Dalv will call her out as a hypocrite, as she was willing to condone murder of other people's loved ones, causing a short  altercation between the two, which Dalv does end up over powering Ceroba pushing her off the edge, which she survives after being found by some other royal guards.

Kanako Notes: Kanako was an intern, to whomever J.A River's Successor and Undyne's predecessor was and got cryogenically frozen, due to Undyne being non observant and the true lab access keycard being lost, it's unlikely Kanako will ever be found.

Kanako got her internship at 14 years old by submitting her idea of Steamworks to be a backup power supply if the core ever breaks, the robots were made in collaboration with a younger Undyne who was also an intern between 16-18 years old at the time.

Kanako wanted to make amends with Dalv Alucard as her ancestors killed his family during a massacre and wishes to right that wrong, which makes Kanako the only Ketsukane that Dalv doesn't have beef with.

Chujin notes: Very little is known about Chujin other than he tricked Starlo into administering the serum and that Chujin was a stay-at-home parent, we also know he's not a boss monster like he was in UTY, as Boss Monster is a specific race of Monster and not category. We also know like Ceroba and  unlike Kanako, he is unwilling to try to make amends for his ancestors wrongdoings in the 1013 Mass Undead Racial Cleansing, as implied by what Kanako said to Dalv, further supported by Ceroba's predisposition of hating Dalv. We can assume he had a lot of faith in Kanako's abilities as he was willing to try her concoction on himself, which ended his life and due to Undyne not being the Royal Scientist yet, he wasn't used in Undyne's experiments and died in hospice.

[ashleyfilm]

Seeing Clearly - Chapter 5. Movie Night

Please leave comments, I'd love to know your thoughts. And if you feel inclined to reblog, that would be so nice.

Chapter Warnings: cursing - Minors - DNI

Characters: Jackson!Joel Miller x F!Reader Plus Size. F!OC was recommended to me since there's a lot of description of her but I'm writing her as You (Reader) so hopefully you can still imagine yourself. Black hair, glasses, tattoos, big body, wears dark clothes, won't stop talking. Joel is tv show Jackson Joel.

Story Summary: Joel just saved your life, begrudgingly. He doesn't know exactly why but he brings you back to Jackson and you ingratiate yourself into his very small circle and his life. This takes place after season 1 of TLOU and season 2 doesn't exist in my brain because no.

Chapter Summary: You start your job at the library, meet a new resident of Jackson and Joel takes you to the movies. 1.8K

Thank you to @saradika-graphics for the book line divider. :)

Chapter 1 Here Chapter 2 Here Chapter 3 Here Chapter 4 Here

Chapter 5. Movie Night

After stopping by the clothing swap, Joel walks you to the library in your “new” old black t-shirt, with the faded logo of Guns n’ Roses, one of your favorite bands from childhood, you can still remember most of the words to the entire Use Your Illusion II album. Your eyes lit up when you found it and it actually fits you, even a tiny bit loose, your favorite. Joel couldn’t help the smile that formed on his plush lips seeing you full of glee, like a child that never went through any of this shit. At the library, you meet an older gentleman named Doc, long grey hair, warm smile and a sparkle in his eyes. He’s hoping to retire this year and you’re just in time to learn the ropes and take over. He walks you through the stacks and what he’s been able to do with the last three years he’s spent there. Organizing, cataloguing, working out distribution to the townsfolk. He even encourages you to suggest your own ideas on how to facilitate the place. You take your time walking around and looking at the books, all in various stages of use, but mostly well held up. Sometimes there are even multiple copies of something where the beginning is in one and the end in the other.

It's magical, being surrounded by all these stories, all these means of escape. And you haven’t even gotten to the VHS tape section with the movies. You grew up going to the video store every Friday with your parents, picking out something for them and something for you. Sitting in your room and watching the stories unfold before your eyes. You even worked in a video store before the outbreak, studied filmmaking in school. This place is already healing you. You can feel it. “Ash, got a visitor here, needs help finding something,” Doc says to break you from your reverie. You walk to the front desk and find a young man, probably in his early 30s, blonde hair, average height, good looking, but kind of like the asshole in your high school that’s on the soccer team and makes fun of you in front of his friends. “Ash, is it? I heard we had a newbie in town. I’m Ryan, nice to meet you,” he says as he takes your hand and gives it a squeeze. You still at the touch, people don’t really touch like this anymore and you haven’t been touched since you got here except for Joel and that was …different.

“Hi, uh, what can I help you with?” You say curtly. “Well, I’m looking for something to read, maybe something sci-fi, think you can help me out,” he says with a smirk. This guy isn’t here to read, he’s here to get the info on the new girl, ugh fuck off. “Um, sure, follow me.” Even though you’re new, you’ve quickly made a map in your head of the library space and the way Doc has taken to organizing and grouping things. You head straight to fiction section, which is currently just by author last name, you’ll change that. Wanting to get this over quickly, you look for H.G. Wells, and find The Invisible Man and hand it to the guy. So, Brad or whatever the fuck his name is will get away from you. “A Grotesque Romance,” he says reading the subtitle on the cover. “Interesting choice,” again with the smirk. “Yup, hope you enjoy it,” you say not really looking at him anymore. “I’m sure I will,” he says looking your body up and down. “See ya around, Ash.” You smile quickly and turn to walk away. Well, that’s the first person you’ve met that you immediately dislike, you guess it was bound to happen in a town with this many fucking people. A very obvious downside.

At the end of your shift, you say goodbye to Doc and start on your walk to the dining hall that will be turned into a movie theatre for the evening for a viewing of Jurassic Park. Your tote bag, courtesy of your new boss, filled with three books. Carrie by Stephen King for you, a graphic novel called, Somewhere in the Stars for Ellie, and No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy for Joel. You wonder if he’ll like your old man joke or not. And like you’ve manifested him; he’s standing outside the library leaning against a lamppost, waiting for you. He’s stunning, standing with his arms crossed against his chest, in a green flannel with red lines and the sleeves rolled up to reveal his thick forearms and his hair wet and slicked back. And he’s there for you. He looks up and notices you walking towards him, you bite your lip to try and hide your smile. “Well, how’d it go?” He asks with his mouth in a line but his eyes, they’re different, warmer. “Good,” you answer, “Doc’s really lovely and it’s amazing how many books you all have.” He watches you speak, and you think he might see something new, and you feel it too, invigorated. You begin to walk in step with one another to the movie night.

“I got Ellie something,” you say as you dig into your bag and retrieve the graphic novel, handing it to Joel. He smiles warmly, probably thinking of Ellie and says, “She’ll love this.” After he hands it back you put it away and reach for the book you got for him, “And this …is for you.” Your hold your breath hoping he likes your choice. “Old Men, that a crack on me, sweetheart?” He says with a chuckle. Sweetheart, he just called you sweetheart. He continues, “Thank you, that’s real kind. Always wanted to read this one, never had the chance, always workin’ too much before everything happened.” “Good, well now you can.” He hands it back and your fingers brush just slightly and like this morning you feel a bolt of electricity run through you. You look away and hope he can’t see the blush on your cheeks.

When you walk into the theatre together, quite a few people look your way with curiosity. You don’t know if it’s because you’re new in town or because you’re with the big, bad Joel Miller. But soon, you don’t care because you smell the popcorn and hear people laughing and see the big projector screen. And you almost sob right then and there. Joel’s watching you in wonder. He lightly touches your shoulder, leaning in close he whispers, “Go pick out a seat wherever you want, I’ll get us some snacks.” A shiver runs down your spine and he’s gone. You find what you deem the perfect seat, close to the middle and along the center aisle. You see Ellie who gives you a wave and wanders after a pretty, dark-haired girl around her age. She looks so happy, and it makes your heart clench in your chest. You start to worry how much you’ve gotten comfortable here, it’s a lot so soon. And you worry that it could all be taken away, like everyone and everything in your life already has.

Before you can spiral too far into your mind, Joel sits next to you. “You couldn’t pick a place a little less surrounded by people?” he says with a grunt. “Hey, you said anywhere I want,” you pout at him. “That I did, I guess I shouldn’t leave it up to you next time,” he says with another hint of a laugh. Did he say next time? Did you really hear that? The movie starts to play, and you and Joel share popcorn, he holds it for you and offers it over to you every couple of minutes. You hear the music by John Williams, and it takes you back. When you were a little girl and your parents would sit you between them and watch you as your eyes lit up taking it all in, so enthralled. Popcorn now long forgotten, it comes to one of the parts you’ve never forgotten, when the girl, is about to fall through the ceiling and the velociraptors are underneath her dangling body and they snap at her legs. You jump out of your skin and grab onto Joel’s hand. After the jump scare you start to laugh, still holding onto him, then you look over at him and he’s already looking at you, a soft smile on his face, until both your smiles fade replaced with a longing gaze until he drops your hand and turns back to the movie. You worry you’ve gone too far, asked for too much, too soon. You clasp your hands back in your lap and try to enjoy the rest of the movie in silence.

As the T-Rex screams and the banner falls, the room is filled with applause. Everyone loved this movie; it didn’t matter who you were. The lights come on and everyone begins to make their way out into the night air of Jackson. Joel says he’s going to find Ellie and for you to “stay put.” Eyeroll. Unfortunately, that’s when Brad or whoever the fuck from earlier decides to come and say hello. “Hi there, Ash. How’d you like the movie?” he says while again looking you up and down. “It’s great, one of my favorites but I guess you weren’t born when it came out, huh?” You don’t even know if it’s true you just want to infantilize him, so he’ll go away. Instead, he laughs and touches your arm, “You may be right about that one.” Suddenly, Joel is back at your side with Ellie, “Time to go.” He says to you gruffly. Ellie is looking between you, Joel and what’s his name wide-eyed like she’s waiting for fireworks or a fight to break out. “Oh, hey Joel, I didn’t know you knew our girl, Ash here,” he says with a smirk, looking only at you. “She’s staying with us, Ryan.” Joel says, fist clenched at his side. Ryan, oh that’s his name. “Okay, well maybe you can save me a seat next time, Ash,” Ryan says with a tip of his hat gesture, the dumbass isn’t even wearing a hat. Idiot. “Bye,” you say as you turn to walk after Ellie and Joel. Ellie hangs back with you as Joel darts off ahead of you. With a grin Ellie says, “What was all that about, huh?” You look at her with a disgusted look on your face, “I honestly have no idea.” Over the next several days, you avoid Brad/Ryan like the plague. Haha, plague. And sadly Joel barely speaks to you, but he does leave out your wolf mug by the coffee machine every morning.

[winterwriterstudios]

Cringe alert! Cringe alert! This is my OC made for fun. If you think she's cringe, okay, but you've been warned.

"Say hello to Ramshackle's only member!! Grim!! Oh, wait. Right. The...um...strange ghost lady that follows him with a camera, too, I guess. Always with an expression that tells us nothing going on in her mind, except when studying or playing a few pranks on people (she's truly earned the nickname Mademoiselle Trickster from Rook). The first ghost to attend Night Raven College as a student and probably the first to have pranked 90% of the student body, too. She truly means no serious harm, though. Avoiding fights and arguments are her go to reaction and she's often the peacemaker amongst students. If you need a quick laugh, cry, rant or anything in-between, she's always there to lend a shoulder or ear. The therapist friend everyone asked for but we never expected to actually exist."

Interviews With A Few Students She Interacts With

Riddle: "Oh, Prefect? It's shocking how she can go from being a studious student to pranking anyone she can in a matter of seconds. But, at least she knows how to pick her battles and study. She's yet to miss a single study session, unbirthday party or even get collared, so it shows she just needs some...positive reinforcement."

Trey: "If she had actual magic, I can only ever think of her going to Heartslaybul. She fits right in and even the upperclassmen respect her. And she also helps me around, trying to dissolve fights or trying to help me in the kitchen. She's nice, but sometimes, it's like she has a different personality for every situation."

Cater: "Ghost Girl Prefect is super cool! Laughing, smiling, being a good friend, ya know, just typical popular girl stuff. Sometimes, we have...talks. She's real good with those, ya know."

Ace: "She's a laugh, alright! She can be a nerd when she's with Deuce, though, but I guess I've got to have other competition, despite Deuce. Ugh, but it's so embarrassing to see her cheering for me at Basketball games. And NO, I'm not the one always looking for her, SHE's the one always looking for ME."

Deuce: "Prefect is a very supportive friend, which is sort of refreshing to have when you're around Ace and Grim, all the time. She also says that she was an honor student back in her old world. Judging by her grades, she's probably telling the truth. We both study a lot together and we both meet all the teachers we can to explain things to us. Ace calls us nerds, but Prefect just laughs him off."

Leona: "She's a bother. Can't even make for a good pillow. But she keeps Rook away, so she's not all that annoying."

Ruggie: "Shishishi! Free labor AND laughs. What's not to like?"

Jack: "She can be very passionate when she wants to. At all the track meets we've had, she's always cheered for Deuce. After Leona-senpai's Overblot, she's been cheering for me, too. Well, she cheers for Ace, Epel and Sebek, too. Even though she WILL scream anytime a horse touches her."

Azul: "Heh. Don't let her smile fool you, Prefect is quite the formidable foe, but an even greater ally."

Jade: "Prefect joins the Mountain Lovers Club, sometimes. When I'm hiking, that is. She's also quite the photographer, always taking absolutely beautiful photos of mushrooms. Oftentimes, she writes down my description of them behind the photo and for some that are especially beautiful, she gives them to me. She's also a great source of information. Huh? Did I say something? No, I don't believe I did."

Floyd: "I wish Shrimpy couldn't just fly off or go through walls, she'd be a lot easier to squeeze. It's kinda unfair how she's always talking to Jade and not me. But her pranks are funny!"

Kalim: "Prefect is so much fun! She's not exactly always up for a party, but she tries to help plan it out! I don't really get why she's shy around Jamil, though, he's not that scary! People say she's a ghost, but that's a bit harsh, don't you think?"

Jamil: "We don't talk much, so why are you asking me? She even avoids me, sometimes, and other times, she's just really quiet around me. All I know is that she's on good terms with everyone."

Vil: "She is relatively the most normal and respectful member of my fanclub on Campus. But her hoodie is atrocious, she looked much better wearing Pomefiore Housewear. If only that Potato was in Pomefiore, then she'd really shine."

Rook: "I am ashamed to admit that I was unable to notice Mademoiselle Trickster's beauty until VDC. It is my greatest embarrassment as a hunter to be unable to notice when I, myself, is also being hunted. But, no more! I shall not let this opportunity slip through my fingers, again! I plan on observing her beauty as much as possible to accumulate for lost time!"

Epel: "When I first met her, I thought she was a freakishly tall giant who couldn't fight to save her life. Now...well, she's the same, but I guess I understand her a lot more. Plus, I kinda get an ego boost, when she cheers for me at a Spelldrive Game. Sometimes she drags the others to cheer, too. And can you imagine? The giant hides behind ME when she sees a horse! ME!"

Idia: "We play video games and trash talk anime we don't like. That's about it, tbh."

Ortho: "I don't think anyone else quite notices or acknowledges how much of an older sister she acts to the first years. The first time I called her 'sis', she was so happy that she started calling me 'bro'! Sometimes she calls Idia that, when they're gaming, but I think she means it in the more friend-like way, still, I'm glad they get along!"

Malleus: "The Prefect is quite an enigma, honestly, quite a complicated puzzle mixed with riddles and jokes, but she's always entertaining me and, as she likes to call it, 'keeping me on my toes'. I hope it stays that way for as long as possible."

Lilia: "My dear partner in crime! Why are you asking of her? Has she committed another prank without me? Oh, she wounds me, sometimes. People say we are quite alike, although I believe they could never be more wrong."

Silver: "Prefect? She's always waking me up, whenever she can. Sometimes, while I'm sleeping, she carries me back to the dorm. Once, Sebek berated me for not keeping up in a sword fight I don't recall having with him and she defended me. Sebek then suddenly switched to her about using her 'powers' and started calling her a 'Ghost'? Their relationship confuses me, sometimes, but that never stops Prefect from greeting me with a sugary snack or two."

Sebek: "That stupid ghost is absolutely HORRIBLE at sword fighting. Still that never stops her from picking up a sword and swinging it around, like a child! She's lucky that I'm usually around when she does it, or she might poke her eye out! She's also quite the impersonator, fooling all but me, of course! Why do you even care? If you want to befriend her so badly, go ahead! Just don't force her to touch the horses in the Equestrian Club, she gets frightened by them. ... I MEAN THEY GET FRIGHTENED BY HER!!!"

[nonsensicalramblings79]

Dead Seagull: Do Not Eat – Albatrosses, Seagulls, and Guilt in Our Flag Means Death

(for future reference: written 10/6/2023, ~36-48 hours after the first 3 episodes of S2 were released)

Hi, all! I, like many of you scrolling the #ofmd meta tag, have a head filled with nothing but the Gay Pirates. This has been the case since 12am PST on 10/5/2023 and will remain the case for several months to come. On my 3rd watch-through of the first 3 episodes of season 2 of OFMD, I started paying closer attention to potential symbolism so that I could maybe predict how the rest of the series is going to play out and get a better idea of what’s going on in these little guys’ brains. This post is the introduction to a short series of long posts wherein I rant about symbolism that may or may not be in the show. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I haven’t written anything even close to a literary analysis since high school, and I generally don’t know wtf I’m talking about. I’m just having a lot of very normal thoughts about The Pirate Show and I need to put them somewhere; if anyone has more ideas relating to this please add to it!! And to the best of my knowledge, the thoughts I express here are my own – please let me know if there are other analyses that say similar things that I should link to.

TWs: animal death, blood, eating animals, starvation, emotional abuse, physical abuse, gunshot injuries, suicidal ideation, canon-typical mental health problems

MAJOR OFMD SPOILERS THROUGH S2E03!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What originally prompted this whole rabbit-hole exploration was the conversation that Ed has with Frenchie at the end of s2e01.

…

You know there's a bird that never touches ground?

It's born in the air. Never once lands. Spends its entire existence in the sky. …

As Frenchie astutely notes, this seems…kind of impossible. How could a bird be born in the air? I could see potentially never landing, but surely every bird has to come down at some point to lay eggs (or to hatch from them), right? So I did a quick Google search for birds that spend their whole lives in the air, and the first result that came up was the common swift, which apparently spends up to 10 months out of the year in the air, never once landing (or only landing very occasionally) during that time. They catch food in the air, sleep while drifting on air currents, mate in the sky, and only land to nest and lay their eggs.

So that seemed…promising? I guess? But not exactly what Ed was talking about. After all, these birds aren’t “born in the air,” and they certainly don’t spend their entire life without landing. And this still could be what Ed was talking about; it matches fairly closely, and it’s possible that whatever Ed heard was either mis-told, misheard, or intentionally exaggerated. But I think there’s a more elegant answer to what bird Ed is referencing here, and it has much more potential for analysis than the common swift: the albatross.

This is the second thing that I found while searching, and this piqued my interest much more than the last result, since - as many of you probably know, spending time reading tumblr metas – the albatross is an extremely pervasive metaphor in literature. It usually represents a psychological burden that one has taken on, most often as a result of having made a mistake that resulted in others getting hurt. I’ll go into more detail about the source of this symbol in a little bit, but the basic gist is that a dead albatross gets hung around one’s neck until whatever guilt they have is resolved – albatrosses are huge birds, so this represents an enormous weight.

Before I go on, I’ll add that, at first glance, the albatross actually seems to fit Ed’s description less well than the common swift does – albatrosses are known for being able to glide for a long, long time, but they do land…on the water. One of the first things that comes up when you search for “birds that never land” is that albatrosses spend years and years never landing on shore. There’s a similar problem here to the common swift in that no bird actually hatches from an egg while in the air like Ed is implying here. But I would argue that the albatross is indeed what Ed is talking about. Whether he misheard, someone misspoke, or a tale got distorted from it being verbally passed down, Ed is referencing the image of an albatross that spends its entire life above (or on) the sea, never once going to land.

And this fits. In the context of the conversation that Ed is having with Frenchie, Ed is lamenting the fact that he can only exist in one place, fulfilling one role – on the sea, performing the role of Blackbeard. He imagines the life of this fictional albatross as quite lonely, I think, never once leaving the place it has spent its entire life (again, this isn’t exactly how the birds behave, but I believe Ed views them this way based on how he’s interpreted whatever he heard about albatrosses). He’s resigning himself to never leaving his habitat, and quite literally never going back to shore.

“…We’re gonna sail…rob…raise hell forever…and ever…without end.”

Right. So, if I am to be believed, we’ve established that Ed is actually diegetically referencing albatrosses. So what?

Well, as another disclaimer, I’m not 100% sold on these ideas myself. Especially only having the first 3 episodes of S2 to go off of, there’s plenty of time for these ideas to be proven wrong in as few as – checks watch – 6 days. There are lots of different, potentially overlapping, potentially conflicting ways to interpret this information. I’m probably going to split this up into parts, for ease of access and reading. Because all this so far has just been the introduction :))

In one part, I’m going to talk about what is probably the most intentional reference: The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, the original poem that the albatross metaphor is pulled from. Beyond just the link to the “Impossible Birds” conversation, there are some other elements in OFMD that seem like pretty clear references to this poem. Based on references to this poem in popular culture, I suspect that parallels here would be non-diegetic – meant to be apparent to the audience, not to the in-universe characters. Link Here!

Next, I’m going to talk about another poem, simply titled “The Albatross” (French: L’albatros). This particular poem is maybe less likely to have inspired references in OFMD, but if there is an intentional link, this poem reflects a lot of how Ed sees himself and his life thus far. I’ll admit that I’m a bit biased toward this poem since I had to memorize it in French class in high school and it’s stuck with me – but it was also one of the first things on Wikipedia that was linked on the page of the metaphor of the Albatross. Parallels in this poem are what I would suspect to be diegetic – despite it being an anachronism, I think Ed has at some point read this poem, and he relates to the albatross/poet. [Link Here!]

Lastly, there are some loose ends that I’d like to pick up that may not tie into anything, but I feel like they’re worth mentioning, especially as they relate to the albatross metaphors and parallels. This section is going to talk more generally about birds and bird imagery in OFMD, and how these instances can support or refute my albatross theories. [Link will go here: haven't written yet :)]

[gojonatr]

home ☆

synopsis: geto disappears, but randomly appears at gojo's door a few months later.

tags: graphic description, implied character death, angst w no comfort.

word count: 1k

note: this was originally something i wrote up w original characters but i thought it fit stsg so well i tweaked it a lil' bit :)

divider credit @/cafekitsune

something in satoru’s gut told him to call suguru. to make sure that he was okay.

the elder of the pair went out of town for the weekend, something urgent with his family, but he promised to text satoru when he got there. his thumbs were heavy as they hovered over the call button, glossy eyes rereading their text messages, satoru wishing suguru safe travels and exchanging their i love you’s.

with a deep sigh, he pressed down on the small telephone symbol, placing the phone up to hear his only to be met with suguru’s voicemail.

“hello! this is suguru, i'm not able to answer, but send me a text or call back later, and i'll get to you." something wasn’t right, he knew that suguru would be available right now, he’d probably be bored out of his mind. this made him really uneasy, his heart dropping to his stomach and his breath short, but he couldn’t help but to try calling again.

“hello! this is su-”

and again.

“hello!-”

and again.

“hel-”

until it seemed pointless. it was clear that suguru wasn’t going to answer any of his calls, no matter how frantic they seemed. it was going straight to voicemail for a reason. maybe his phone was off. maybe he had do not disturb on. maybe it died. maybe he died.

the days passed slowly as satoru waited for any sign of life from him. no calls, no texts, no social media posts. sometimes he’d pretend that this was all a bad dream and text suguru about his day, asking about his as well.

at some point it started turning into seeing suguru in public.

at first, he knew that there was no way in hell that it could have been him inspite the twinge of hope that he was holding onto. there was nothing to solidify that thought. the second suguru’s long and dark hair came into view, it was gone within a second. it was like a magic trick.

it was a cruel trick that satoru’s brain was playing on him and if he didn’t know any better, he would run after these apparitions of suguru.

a part of him didn’t want to come to terms with the fact that his best friend was gone. a big part of him, really. he wanted to cave into his thoughts and live in the world where suguru was still around. things would be easier, he wouldn’t have to pretend that he was okay.

there’s never been anything in his entire life that has made his heart ache this much. no death, no inconvenience. nothing. suguru was his world and it was hell managing without him. wrapping his mind around living in a world where his best friend didn’t exist seemed impossible.

about a week after his initial disappearance, suguru showed up at satoru’s door. the knock took him out of his sleep, tired eyes scanning the room for his glasses before getting up and going to the door. the peephole didn’t even cross his mind, immediately going to unlock the wooden door and pulling it open. once his eyes landed on suguru, it was like his world mended back together.

was it really suguru? it couldn’t be. why would he come to his door in such a state? he was drenched, clothes tattered and worn. his face drained of all life and color. he looked sickly. beneath some of the rips on his clothes, there were deep gashes and blood dripping; some of these wounds looked fresh.

satoru had to take a second to ground himself before he grabbed the other and gently urged him into his apartment. there were so many questions that he could ask him at this moment, but he knew better than to do so. suguru was waiting in a wooden chair for satoru, shivering from the cold.

“suguru… i’ve been looking everywhere for you. i mean- i was calling and texting everyday hoping that you’d just broken your phone but this is just.. this is so much wor-”

“satoru,” the other male spoke. his voice was cold, blunt. it sent goosebumps up satoru’s skin and a shiver down his spine. this was very uncharacteristic of the gentle man. suguru didn’t even bother looking at the other, his eyes glued to his knees, “shut up. just shut up.”

scared to say anything more, he simply nodded and walked away to get the other a blanket.

maybe it was the circumstances of his disappearance, but suguru never left satoru’s dorm and he never returned to his old activities. his days were just spent holed up in their now shared room, reading and drawing when inspiration struck. of course, satoru didn’t mind this at all. his best friend was back home, back in his arms.

the pair were cuddled up on the couch watching the news, something that they’d been doing fairly recently as suguru had taken a liking to the reports. nothing ever interesting was on, satoru didn't understand why suguru liked it so much. except a few days ago, they reported a body that’d been found washed up on the shore of okinawa.

the screen changed from a puppy learning to walk for the first time to an orange banner that read, “URGENT REPORT”. this peaked both satoru and suguru’s reaction, the latter of the two looking over worriedly at the former. suguru, however, his face was drained of all color. it’s almost as if he looked guilty, his eyes wide and fingers white gripping the blanket as he awaited for the news reporter to start speaking.

a swoosh from the tv interrupted satoru’s observation, his heart pounding in his ears with anticipation. if suguru wasn’t next to him, then he’d have already started wondering if he was the victim.

“the body that was found by the northern bshore of okinawa has been identified. the victim was found on december 24, 2023, in a barely recognizable state. we’ve been informed that the victim was suguru geto, who was age 28 and kyoto resident. if you have any information that could be of help, please call the kyoto police department or okinawa police department. may god rest his soul.”

[aphfanficwriters]

Every month we will pose a question and collate responses as a fun and informal little exercise in getting to know each other and spark discussion. This month's question is:

“Which writing rule do you most enjoy breaking?”

relmu / @iamnompuehuenu: this is my personal preference, but i absolutely adore flowery writing that borders on purple prose. maybe it's because the literature i grew up with is filled with metaphors and decorations and that rubbed off on me, but i just find it extremely beautiful and dramatic… I've come to learn that English-speaking writers are more direct and that purple prose is not seen with good eyes, but i like it so much i have to remind myself to not put too much emphasis on descriptions and metaphors when writing lol. it sometimes becomes heavy to read but for me it's a joy, though i understand it's not for everyone 🙏

prush / @proosh: you can take run-on sentences from my cold dead hands

Wasps / @petiolata: "Avoid epithets" is the one I enjoy breaking the most. To me, it's very similar to "show, don't tell". Like every writing practice that people get told "don't do that!" about, they have their time and place. Both telling and epithets can create distance, or emphasize certain qualities about the character. They can also convey information faster. I think a lot of the criticism of them comes from a lack of understanding that people read fics for different purposes and so writers will write with different effects in mind. If a fic is meant to be an extremely fast-paced suspenseful ride—and that's more important to the writer or audience than elegance of writing or creating deep POV closeness—and an epithet best serves that, then isn't it the best choice to use the epithet? What makes good writing is widely debated, but what makes a good writer in my opinion is intentionality. The ability, skills, knowledge, to accomplish exactly what effects you're going for. And sometimes that means making choices that serve pacing or kink appeal over elegance or POV depth. I probably don't use many epithets in my fics, but knowing how much unfair flack they get makes me celebrate every single one.

Tama / @delgumofics: I generally try to follow the rules since I'm always trying to grow as a writer. I think mine is run-on sentences though. If I'm writing a scene where a characters understanding of the world is supposed to be different in some way, like they're really high, or they're very emotionally charged, I use a lot of run-ons to express that. I try to put myself in their heads pace and think how they'd think, and when someone is fucked up or really emotionally charged, grammar and pacing kind of go out the window. Thought becomes one long stream of ideas and feelings so I try to express that sensation with words. That usually results in run-ons dotted with short snappy single or two word sentences mixed into the paragraph.

WhiteWings / @smuttyandabsurd: "Write what you know" seems to be taken as "write only what you know" which is a terrible rule. Write what you don't know. Push the limits of your knowledge. Deep dive into research and learn things you didn't know so you can write about it… Or don't! Revel in making it up and writing with terrible inaccuracy, it's called artistic license babes. It won't appeal to everyone, of course, and you may very well annoy a bunch of people, but you can't please everyone and you shouldn't try to.

Didi / @teaedon: first draft is the final version, and i don't cut anything out (well, rarely).

Yukihitomi / @arthurhonda: Writing rules? Don’t know em. Too busy destroying the English grammar. Punctuation besides commas, periods, exclamation points, and question marks don’t exist.

And there were those who didn't understand the assignment... 😅

Eru / @eruverse: Wasn’t aware there were rules, I do what I want and what fits best

@folightening: I'm not even aware what the rules are so I've no idea. I just write how I want.

Beetroot / @council-of-beetroot: Does anyone have a list of writing rules to reference?

Mossman / @one-more-mossman: I don't even know what rules the writing has [...] Uneducated swine I am

[egg-emperor]

Yass. I love the egg empire existing as a fucked up, cyberpunkish, smog-covered Citadel where everyone, aside from Eggman and his harem , lives in complete squalor 😍

The average being would prolly struggle to even find food, meanwhile Eggy gorges himself on the finest foods and booze. Every day he has a feast for himself. He'd probably cheekily giggle with delight knowing that people and animals are starving , while he gets to stuff his fat gut. Food goes to winners like him and not losers like them. Hell he'd probably broadcast himself feasting, just to kick everyone while they're down.

It sounds like an absolute paradise 😍 In Eggman's eyes and mine because I love anything that makes him happy lol- but absolutely terrible for everyone else. He gets to live his dream in a perfect world by his twisted definition as it's completely reshaped in his selfish image and he the has high power and total luxury he's always desired, and a big gay harem to serve his needs and entertain him. It couldn't get any better!

He wouldn't treat his harem the best either but to my masochistic ass that's a plus and it'd be an honor to be a part of it hehe. Everyone else would experience the absolute worst of what this new world entails though. They've lost their homes, people they love, passion and enthusiasm for living and all meaning as he's stripped it away and replaced it with his plan and rules for them and they have to follow it all or be eliminated!

Ohh yes I love that so much, I've actually shared a concept very similar... elsewhere (in one of the blogs hinted at in my blog description), for reasons. 😳 People would definitely struggle to find food to survive, Eggman would want people to starve so it will make them give in to the robotomy treatment. If the propaganda didn't get them, they'll be begging for it just so they won't need to eat, only to regret it because they also have to give up all freedom and free will!

I imagine that as emperor, he heavily indulges in all the luxuries of life to an excessive degree in total hedonism and decadance and one of those is food of course. Because all the food in the world will belong to him alone then! And he can't let it go to waste he says, so he has many huge grand feasts to himself, but it's to celebrate his brilliance most importantly hehe. He deserves good food fit for an emperor and lots of it.

He loves to kick back before his big long dinner table full of tons of wonderful foods the entire way across and dig in to it all. He's free to gorge to his heart's content and eat like the emperor he is. Plenty of booze too! He always enjoys having a very full belly, being happily drunk, and getting some love and action from his cute harem as they feed him, give him his cuddles, kisses and belly rubs and other things while he relaxes ;)

It's endless elation, pleasure, and bliss for Eggman 💜 It's what everyone's lives, freedom, and happiness were exchanged for as they suffer in the hellish world he's created. He'd enjoy broadcasting his time lounging on his throne, feasting on all the food they don't get to eat while they hunger, and being loved up by his harem while he gloats about how great and powerful he is and shows off how much better of a life he's living than them!

He'd smugly ask if they're enjoying his beautiful new world and their new lives as much as he is, knowing full well the real answer and loving it. He'd ask if they're hungry while he gorges happily on delicious mouth watering food and say "well too bad, it all belongs in here now" and slaps his fat gut proudly while they watch longingly, desperate for even a single bite. The torment gets them closer to giving into robotomy everyday.

Their biggest nightmare was his biggest dream, their suffering is his entertainment, their detriment is his benefit, their squalor means his luxury. He took away everything from everyone from the world they knew, who they were and the freedom they had, and everything they loved and owned and left them with only suffering, all for his selfish gain. He loves to remind them of that every single day with great pride!

And I'd be delighted to be at his side as part of a harem of cute boys, as we all now exist solely to serve in entertaining and pampering the handsome emperor 🥰💜💘

[mylittleponyinspace]

OK so what does the main 6 do in space great question only I asked

Twilight sparkle: the brains she works with other ponys. Her job is the technology and magic she will focus on making devices that mix the two. She will make many things like a way to get oxygen from hydrogen peroxide and yeast( I goggled that let me know if I'm wrong and you have a suggestion). Water (I have know idea how to bullshit water into existing).

Rarity bell: the money rarity is a multi billionaire the way the show treated her kinda bugs me she is generosity she has the means to be generous. She funds the project bc it is not cheap she pays for the ponys to work and materials needed. She also will be the one deciding things she is a business woman at heart.( I would love to see descriptions or designs for pony space suits).

Apple Jack: Farmer, idk I feel that all of the main sic would be scouting ocs that would fit the job description better than themselves, so...

Rainbow dash: she would be in charge of the weather and atmosphere of supervising the ponys working on it

Flutter shy: I'm calling it Noah's ark for now. Also I like a vet you know probably late game

Pinky pie: traveling Circus not much more to it then that

At some point I think all of the main six become alicorns it just makes sense to me

Their are multiple arcs the first one would be finding the ponys then making the ship these are happening simultaneously. Then the portal and the first dome. Time skip multiple domes farms and zoos and whatnot things that ponys need rarity gets her wings when someone steps on Mars. Apple jack gets her wing and horn the first successful harvest. Flutter shy successfully has two of each animal, rainbow when the atmosphere starts to take shape (not sure how yet). Pinky pie feels unnecessary and goes home she is sad and her friends bring her to the Circus and bam alicorn she makes a traveling moon Circus.

Feel free to suggest things or ocs of art or fan fiction I just wanna see is please. Thank you love you lots

[annes-andromeda]

I know this is probably gonna age horribly since the Duffers will more than likely do something different, but I’ve been having some thoughts about the Upside Down.

I think Wills painting may serve another purpose besides being used for the Byler storyline. This isn’t necessarily a theory but more or less like an alternate storyline thing cause I don’t believe this might happen in the show, but it’s fun to think about.

Now this has been talked about a little bit about how the painting may be foreshadowing for S5. Some have said that the three-headed dragon is the Mind Flayers final form, others have said that it’s the Thessalhydra. I personally believe it’s the latter since Nancy described the creature in her vision as having “a gaping mouth”. And she’s definitely not describing the Demogorgon or Demodogs or Demobats because if that’s the case, then she would’ve just said it.

This is the only picture I could find that depicts the Thessalhydra with wings, but it definitely fits both Nancy’s description and the painting. And it’s not like the show hasn’t made changes to creatures from DnD.

But back to the painting, I believe that it is foreshadowing the Party comic together and defeating a common enemy. Now in the show this may very well be the Thessalhydra, but I have this sort of headcanon that I’ve been concocting:

What if just like Byler in S4, the painting ends up being a miscommunication. Like it is correct in the Party stopping a great foe, but it’s wrong in who the enemy ends up being.

If was just revealed that Vecna was the big bad this whole time despite focusing on the Mind Flayer for three seasons, then imo it would feel cheap. It would feel like when the Star Wars sequel trilogy clearly set up Snoke to be the big bad… only to kill him off in the second film and then suddenly revive Palpatine because reasons I guess🤷‍♀️

In terms of canon, I’d like for it to be revealed that Vecna only thinks that he’s in control of the Upside Down and the Mind Flayer, only for the MF to do a 180 and show him who’s really running things.

Since I believe the MF to be an Eldritch demon of some kind, I think he is the only being who’s mind Henry cannot read. So if he were, let’s say, using Henry as a way to regain power or merge the UD with Hawkins, then Henry wouldn’t know because the MD could simply block his own thoughts.

I do not believe that Henry created the Mind Flayer, but more so gave it its form. Similarly to how Will didn’t necessarily make the Upside Down (because we saw it existing even before his time), but he most likely gave it the form of Hawkins because he was afraid and home was the first thing on his mind (It’s also why I believe transmutation to be one of Wills abilities)

So essentially, Vecna is the Darth Vader to the Mind Flayer’s Palpatine. However, while the Mind Flayer can be referred to as the ruler of the Upside Down, I wouldn’t necessarily make him the creator of it.

This is where the Thessalhydra and the painting’s miscommunication comes in (Once again this is all just a headcanon)

What if it ends up being wrong that the Thessalhydra is the final boss. It could start off that the characters think this giant dragon-like kaiju with multiple heads and a gaping mouth is the ultimate villain to defeat or whatever.

But what if it ends up being revealed that the Thessalhydra is not only the original ruler of the Upside Down, but the creator? And that after the portals begin opening up, it is finally allowed to break free of whatever prison it’s been held in. This means the Thessalhydra can finally reclaim its throne and defeat it enemy, the Mind Flayer.

Now how would all of this be revealed? Well, I don’t know about canon but here’s my vision for an alternate story:

In S4, it’s revealed that Will has powers like El. However, it is subtly hinted that his powers may very well be generational, mainly on his mothers side.

Now this is something that actually was hinted at way back in the very first season. We see in S1 that after Jonathan, Steve, and Nancy defeat the Demogorgon, the lights begin to flicker in the Byers house.

Nancy and Steve think it’s the Demogorgon again, but Jonathan is the only one who senses Joyce walking around in the Upside Down. Not Joyce and Hopper, just Joyce. And the crazy thing is, Joyce senses him back.

(GIFs are not mine)

The fact that both Jonathan and Joyce can sense each other’s presence despite being in different dimensions is insane to me and I hate the fact that this is never brought up again after S1.

So this would fuel my little headcanon (or theory whatever) that Joyce’s side has some sort of generational abilities. Joyce and Jonathan’s abilities would be more mentally focused, whereas El and Will’s abilities would be more physically focused. Yes, I know El isn’t a biological Byers, but we see in S2 that her bio mother Terry has powers of her own, so her powers may also be generational.

It’s also the same for Henry. I also theorize his powers to be generational, once again, on his mothers side. It would explain why his mother was the only one who caught on to what Henry was doing in their house, and his father and sister were oblivious.

So let’s say that while the characters are fighting against some monsters of the UD or Vecna, Jonathan gets taken. Since Vecna has already held Will and El hostage, why not give Joyce even more trauma and stress and take her eldest son/first child🙃

While the group is trying to find Jonathan, he gets taken to an unknown location. There, he meets the Thessalhydra face to face. This could parallel to how Will is the first one to see the Mind Flayer in person.

Obviously in the beginning, Jonathan thinks this is just another monster trying to kill him like all the other ones. But unlike the Demogorgon or the other creatures, the Thessalhydra is much more intelligent and can sense that this boy is not a threat.

Since the Thessalhydra is the creator of the UD, the creatures living there actually were originally impervious to fire. However, once the Mind Flayer took over, the UD became a cold, barren wasteland. Creatures like the Demogorgon and others had to adapt, which is why fire can now hurt them.

Along with figuring out the UD’s history, Jonathan finds out that like his brother and sister, he too has powers of his own. He can actually control the monsters of the UD and sense their thoughts and emotions, which is why the Thessalhydra knows he isn’t a threat. He can also link his mind with the people closest to him, which he uses to communicate to his mother and siblings, as a parallel to S1. Joyce also this same mind link power.

Jonathan shows the rest of the group that the Thessalhydra isn’t their enemy, and boom! Cue epic face off against the Mind Flayer and Vecna (or just the MD if he decided to kill Vecna idk)

Will all of this happen in the actual season? Highly doubt it. But I’d definitely like to learn more about the Upside Down and the Mind Flayer and how it all came to be. And it is the last season, so you gotta go out with a bang.

[goldenpinof]

Idk if it’s too much to ask, but can you elaborate by any chance on how dd was alienating? I’ve never really watched it, and I breezed through a few to try to understand, but I still don’t get it 😞😞 It kinda just seemed like a longer version of his older videos with a bigger production?? Or am I wrong??? If you, or anyone else, could help me that’d be great! If not it’s okay, hope you’re having a lovely day!

it's not too much to ask, don't worry! it's gonna be too much to read for you, though, and i'm sorry for that :)

original anon, please, come back! i would also like to know your and others' thoughts on what felt wrong with dd.

i wasn't alienated, so i can only point own differences and traits (??) that weren't balanced out right away by either Phil or Dan himself. in dd videos Dan is ruder than usual and it feels less like banter. like, he is purposefully rude, loud, mean, annoyed, and offensive in a way. and if usually, you understand that it's not real because Dan either laughs or his "collaborator" laughs genuinely or gets on board and plays along – here it wasn't like that? or it wasn't like that always. during dd he was saying stupid and harmless things but the delivery was like he was punching someone with his words. gladly, Dan is a bad actor, so it was just awkward most of the time (at least to me), and that indicated that he was just fucking around and all of these is his weird concept of satire. there was a "i don't really wanna be here" vibe sometimes. some topics of the videos were purposefully boring and their point was to show that youtube is full of recycled content and there is so little originality on the platform? (allegedly! this is one of my understandings). he definitely tried to explain the whole big concept of dd somewhere, i just don't remember where (probably in a liveshow), and video descriptions can be very telling as well. also, he was using his fandom A LOT. we were giving him content, 45% of dd is phandom-based videos. it can weird people out, i can understand that. i'm not a huge fan of all these twitter screenshots and Dan reading them out loud. but as a part of a bigger concept i can let it slide.

anyway, for me it felt a bit disingenuous. like he would rather do anything else or nothing at all than dystopia daily. but his "annoyed at everyone and everything" dd persona fit into that. so i'm not mad it exists. it's a fucking concept and a half. and it's so funny to look at it and not take it seriously. there were good, cute and genuinely funny moments. just, the whole thing still feels like it was a challenge to youtube. and like he wanted to bait people. i don't know, i haven't rewatched any of the videos. my thoughts are based on memories.

i think in the beginning Dan was like: am i doing what i want to do (and there's no budget around); am i doing what youtube algorithm wants from me?; or am i doing what the audience wants? and he tried to create a piece of content that fit all three categories, and create it very fast. and that's why dd was such a roller coaster.

i'd like to hear the original anon :)

[the-girl-who-didnt-smile]

KING OF THE DEAD

Description (translation: disorganized rant) below cut

MAN I have a lot of different ideas I want to get out, but before getting into that, I want to preface this by explaining what my VISION here is. Because I am completely insane, I REALLY like imagining “what if my DeviantArt OCs were in the canon of Hazbin Hotel”, but I should clarify what I mean by that… I do not mean that I want them to appear in the main TV series. That would be pure madness, brother.

THEY ONLY HAVE EIGHT EPISODES IN A SEASON!!!

…What I was actually envisioning is that the Papa Legba characters appears in, I don’t know, Season 6 of this show, or later… He’s a flashback character and/or connected to Alastor’s mother, or even Alastor himself. Everyone else would just get relegated to a spin off after the end (or at least, outside) of the main series. The pirate crew / jazz band can flesh out the setting of Earth and possible realms that exist outside of Heaven and Hell… You could release, I dunno, comics or, some Hazbin Hotel light novels about them (I am open to ideas…) I feel like there is so much raw creativity in Hazbin Hotel, you could make tons of spin offs to develop various aspects of the setting and lore!

But here’s a fun thought… What Hazbin Hotel turns into this long running show with tons more episodes? Aside from Big Papa, I think the second coolest Voodoo-related thing that could be put into this show is either (1) characters inspired by the Erzulies (Ezili Dantor and Ezili Freda), or (2) characters inspired by Les Trois Esprits Du Cimetière:

That being, Baron Samedi, Maman Brigitte, and Gede Nibo.

(by which I mean, characters inspired by them. Like with the Papa Legba character, I think their names should be changed)

Since they are spirits of the Dead, they are actually the ones that fit the best into the setting of Hazbin Hotel, which takes place in the afterlife. Additionally, there are a number of sources that describe Gede Nibo as queer himself (this is something I plan to write about at a later time…). 

I was going to say that I think Baron Samedi might actually be a character Vivziepop is planning to put in this show, due to the number of characters wearing top hats, but I think the actual reason they wear top hats is because Lucifer wears a top hat… I think they’re Borrowin Lucifer, not Samedi… 

(this is really funny to me… I like the idea of Lucifer being a fashion icon in Hell)

In my VISION, the Papa Legba character would be more inspired by how he appears in 19th century New Orleans Vodou and folklore of the broader American South in the early 20th century; in contrast, “Les Trois Espirits” would be more inspired by their portrayals in Haitian Vodou, to honor Gede’s origins in Haiti. However, I would not design these characters as shown above, but use the alternative concept instead.

Having taken more than two seconds to think about this, I actually think the concept presented above (i.e., “The Baron of Death” and “Maman la Vie”) was conceived in poor taste, and that the alternative concept (i.e., “Baron of the Dead” and “Gran Maman”) is for sure the superior one. My brain cells were firing a little too fast back there… 

To put this in perspective, imagine if I came up with a character named “Mother Miriam”. She’s not Mother Mary, but she wears a hood to make herself look like Mother Mary, serves a similar role to Mother Mary, and is obviously inspired by Mother Mary. Not only is she transgender, but she’s a crazy sadomasochist too!

Atheists are probably laughing their asses off at this bizarre comparison, but come on guys… l-let’s be grown ups here…

The above is obviously offensive to Christians, so why is it any different with Vodou? Although I have written about New Orleans Vodou has been unfairly denigrated by American media, I have hypocritically treated Vodou without the same level of respect as Christianity and other major religions. We non believers still have to approach the lwa with the same level of respect as the Saints, etc…

It’s not just the Baron character who is problematic, but Maman. Previously I had claimed that Maman Brigitte was a Caucasian lwa with Celtic origins and that she is very promiscuous, but this is probably just misinformation. This and other comments I made regarding Baron Samedi were things I read from a source that turned out to be not reputable, I apologize for being so sloppy in my research. I think the confusion might arise from the fact that her name is spelled similarly to the Irish Saint. But if you look at traditional Haitian art, Gran Brijit is not portrayed as a Caucasian.

Here is how the lwa are portrayed by Andre Pierre:

A most exquisite painting! As you can see, Pierre employed a range of skin tones, where some of the lwa (e.g., Ezili Freda, Damballa Wedo) are portrayed as lighter skinned. Maman Brigitte is shown next to Baron Samedi in the bottom right corner.

Here is closer shot of Maman Brigitte, alongside Baron Samedi and Gede Nibo:

Maman Brigitte is not Caucasian, biracial, or light skinned. Actually, she is portrayed as dark skinned, where she, Baron Samedi, and Gede Nibo all have the same skin tone. Additionally, she is not promiscuous, but a dignified and reserved older woman. 

Andre Pierre is not the only Haitian artist to portray her in this manner. Here’s how she’s portrayed by Gerard Paul: 

And Roudy Azor: 

These match the description provided by Nwokocha, where she writes: “Gede, like all lwa, has many incarnations, including Bawon Samedi, a guardian of the cemetery; Gran Brijit, an old woman, keeper of the cemetery, and Gede’s partner; and Gede Nimbo, a male spirit who is often honored by queer ­people and who appears as an effeminate dandy.” (p. 37)

Elsewhere: “Gede’s delighted embrace of sexuality is an undeniable display of male desires. The spirit manifests in multiple genders, like his female counterpart Gran Brijit, but only the male version are so explicitly sexual. No female deity in the Vodou pantheon expresses sexual desires so emphatically or bluntly in a ceremony. There are female spirits who are coy, mysterious, vengeful, or wise, but not one proudly proclaims her sexual desires…” (p. 39-40)

The following paragraph provides important context to non Black readers: “During the centuries of enslavement in Hispaniola, enslaved Black women were subject to routine sexual abuse from White enslavers and others with the power to dominate them. To justify this commonplace brutality, Black women were constructed as hypersexual temptresses and prostitutes who were always available for sexual conquest...To combat the construction of Black women as hypersexual, their sexual desires were ignored entirely, characterized by reductive binaries that placed whores on one side and good, chaste Christian women on the other: there was no room for the actual desires of real women."

Source: Nwokocha, Eziaku Atuama. Vodou en vogue: fashioning Black divinities in Haiti and the United States. UNC Press Books, 2023.

Furthermore, I’ve noticed that Gran Brijit seems to have several things in common with the orisha Oya, to the point that I wonder if Gran Brijit and Oya have a shared origin… This is something I’ve been meaning to research… 

For the above reasons, I think it was tasteless of me to portray the Maman character as a younger promiscuous woman. I know she is sometimes portrayed by artist as a younger promiscuous woman, but I would rather portray her as she is traditionally portrayed as an older, sexually reserved woman. I don’t know, I just think this is the respectful approach to take since Americans get things wrong about the lwa all the time. This would also aid in adding body and age diversity to the cast - she contrasts with the other women by being a heavier set, older woman. 

Long story short, the alternative concept is the better one. Unfortunately, I basically just wrote myself into a corner here. I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS I just don’t foresee myself going back and retconning the shit I put into my stupid fanfiction. I REALLY regret not thinking of the alternate concept earlier!!!

… But like, bro… This fanfiction is SO FUCKING WEIRD!!!! Alastor is just, the wrong race and the wrong gender in this, and my DeviantArt OC owns his soul… Has anyone managed to one-up this in terms of sheer weirdness???

We are so far into wacky non canon land… WHERE ARE WE????!!!!

I don’t even care. Wacky non canon land can be so much fun.

Case in point: Alastoria.

She is so much hotter than Al’s canon hot ass girl form, it’s not even close!

You can just take this as this weird AU where Lavi and Lanmò became gods instead of demons. But yeah. It’s staying in my weird ass fanfiction, but this is expressly something I would NOT want to be put in the canon of this show. HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! THAT WOULD BE CRINGE!!!!!!!

WHAT WAS I THINKING??????!!!!!!!!!!!

…Sorry, boys. I only got two brain cells and they are both very deranged. But this is what I love about fanfiction: It is allowed to be stupid and shitty and cringe!

So yeah. Leave this concept in cringe fanfiction, where it fucking belongs!

…With that out of the way, I should probably explain what is actually happening in these doodles.

THE UNDERWORLD

So originally I had planned to just completely off-screen the sexualities of these two characters, because they’re SO OUTRAGEOUS you can’t actually show what they’re doing…. It’s also really easy to just slip and make this guy cringe (exhibit A: my…my Deviantart account…) But queer sexuality is such a big part of Hazbin Hotel (also Helluva Boss) it really doesn’t make sense to off-screen their sexuality. This represents my attempt to depict their sexualities in a non-cringe manner (mission failure imminent…)

They rule over another realm called “The Underworld” that predates the existence of Heaven or Hell. They handpick humans to join them in the Underworld, where they become Gede instead of Demons or Angels. (nominally, Baron is the one who decides, but in terms of real power they are equal… Maman can veto his decision, she’s just never done this because she’s always agreed with his decisions…)

The Underworld has several zones to it:

THRONE ROOM: It’s just that. 

I was picturing it like, if a man wants to speak with them, Baron sits on the throne; if a woman wants to speak with them, Maman sits on the throne; if a nonbinary person wants to speak with them, either one or both of them might appear. They make their avatars huge so they completely dwarf whoever wants to talk to them.

If the “court” (the “court” has no real power) is assembled for some important decision / law, Baron sits on the throne while Maman sits on his lap. It’s a joint rulership and the two have equal amounts of real power.

Let’s just plagiarize Thanos while we’re here!

ZONE 1: It’s basically a big ballroom house. The reason it has this ball theme is because the leader of the Gede is a character called “Queen of the Damned” (see below) and she’s a drag queen. Baron hates the music that is played in this zone, but he still shows up because he really likes Queen of the Damned. 

The whole idea is it’s like a bunch of drag queens, and their ruler is a drag king… or really, an ex-drag king (he just fully transitioned to male…)

Large sections found in Queering Creole Spiritual Traditions summarize the association between AMAB and AFAB gender/sexual queerness and the Gede, in which the authors make the comparison to ballroom culture.

Source: Conner, Randy P. Lundschien, and David Sparks. Queering Creole spiritual traditions: Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender participation in African-inspired traditions in the Americas. Routledge, 2014, p. 62 & p. 92

The chapter “"Look at Me!": Dressing Gede to the Nines” in Eziaku Atuama Nwokocha’s Vodou en vogue describes spiritual “female-to-male” transformation that occur when a mambo is “mounted” by Papa Gede; a connection to drag kings and the transmasculine spectrum is easily made. 

Source: Nwokocha, Eziaku Atuama. Vodou en vogue: fashioning Black divinities in Haiti and the United States. UNC Press Books, 2023. p. 35 https://www.google.com/books/edition/Vodou_en_Vogue/_2qLEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&pg=PA35 

In her travels to Haiti, Elizabeth McAlister observed the following:

“It is in these wee hours of the morning that the Gede spirits (pronounced GEDD-eh) will come to « monte » (ride) the dancers…Women, « ridden » by the lwa (spirit), will become men. Grasping walking sticks–some with penises carved at the top–they will begin the gouyad, a grinding, whining dance of the Banda, a stylized parody of sexual intercourse. Judging by the songs some of these women-turned-men are singing, you will guess they have become homosexual men. As the songs for the Gede continue, men will also seem like masisi, « faggots. » One man even seems to have become a women, who is busy gossiping primly to a group of her fans…Gede are living corpses, great healers, great workers, and the ultimate drama queens in a divine theater of power and gender. The Gede spirits display, mimic and caricature gender and sexuality in order to get at cultural knowledge and memory, the pain and truth of which only they can withstand. The Gede are almost always dark complected spirits of former colonial slaves and if you get to know them they will tell you how they were tortured, how they suffered and how they died. At the ceremony, after you have been ridiculed and forgotten, and as you rise to leave the next morning you can still hear the Gede inside, singing with nasal voices, « Miyo miyo miyo, faggots and dykes, Oh . . .  »”

Source: McAlister, Elizabeth A. "Love, sex, and gender embodied: The spirits of Haitian Vodou." Love, sex and gender in the world religions (2000): 129-146. https://africultures.com/love-sex-and-gender-embodied-the-spirits-of-haitian-vodou-5719/ 

Katherine Smith observed something similar, where she writes: “Gede mounts individuals as well as small marauding bands of vagabon who may pound on tombs and yell obscenities at the dead. In 2007, one such group of young men dressed in drag, fellated bones, and danced flamboyantly as the crowed cheered “Gede Masisi!” (Gay Gede!).”

Source: Smith, Katherine. "Dialoging with the urban dead in Haiti." Southern Quarterly 47.4 (2010): p. 83 

Hence, the decision to give this zone a drag queen (and king) theme.

ZONE 2: This is just a massive orgy. ALL KINDS of demonic debauchery take place here, but there are actually zones within this zone. On the outskirts, whatever’s going on is relatively normal/vanilla, but as you get closer to the center that’s when shit starts getting more and more wild. That’s because at the center is Baron and Maman are. They always have at least one (usually, a lot more than one!) of their avatars into the center of this massive sex pit… the CRAZIEST shit ever is happening there. But because they literally like every form of sex, you will sometimes spot one or some of their avatar(s) further away from the center, doing less crazy shit. You can tell where they are because they force you to listen to heavy metal. 

I was picturing it like they recruit the CRAZIEST, MOST MASOCHISTIC succubi and incubi from the Lust ring, and/or they make weird shadow projections that they have sex. They probably just turn people into zombies and have sex with those two… They’re SO crazy!!!

ZONE 3: This zone is in the very bottom, darkest pit of the Underworld. It is simply called THE DUNGEON. It is exactly what you think it is.

This is the other thing that these two like to do to people who disrespect them. You have to make up new vocabulary for the forms of mind fucking (literally!!!) forms of torture that take place here. Everyone who goes through this is broken in every imaginable sense of the word, and other ways that were not previously imaginable. It is inevitable that you will eventually die from whatever is being done to you. But they just go and fetch your soul and drag you back to THE DUNGEON. You have immortality now, but in the worst way possible… There is no fate worse than this. This too, is Real Hell.

…This is why these two are arguably extremely evil. Some of the people in THE DUNGEON were literally en route to Heaven, but they worked a REALLY long shift just before they died, so they rolled their eyes at these guys a little, and this was their final fate.

I don’t even care. To the contrary - I think these guys are extremely considerate! These two are just BROADCASTING how dangerous and insane they are. If you were dumb enough to disrespect them for any reason, that’s just Darwinism in action!

(it’s great because most of the people who suffer this weren’t the most evil people, but the ones who were both evil and stupid… I wish this is how real life worked!)

The reason they have this trait is because Croco D. Boy (One Piece) has this conference room but it’s actually just a torture dungeon that he uses to torture Buggy D. Clown for sport.

…It just dawned on me that there’s a decent chance Sir D. Crocoboy is a crazy sexual sadist, and that he got to clap Robin's cheeks back when she was still hot.

Now I’m feeling nothing but unbridled hate envy and rage!

Crocodile literally has the single worst Logia in all of One Piece, and he got bodied by PRE GEAR Luffy!!! He is so fucking cringe!

He’s so evil too. Why didn’t Luffy just kill this guy???

BANSHEES

Because I am literally the dumbest person in the entire Hazbin Hotel fandom, I really want to believe that Hazbin Hotel is gonna go full Marineford Arc and build up to this HUGE all-out war between Heaven and Hell.

ANNE FRANK VERSUS TE D. BUNDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…So the “banshees” are the native species to the Underworld. They are called “banshees” because in this weird fanfiction, the Maman is a transracial adoptee who (in her past human life) was adopted into an Irish family. (it’s supposed to be meta on the portrayal of Maman Brigitte’s race/ethnicity + a liminal identity since she’s a spirit of liminality between life and death)

Although they’re called “banshees”, they actually have more of a Haitian influence. They are very playful spirits, who have two forms. In their non-combat forms, they dress in purple and white dresses in the style of Fet Gede dancers. They are empowered by Baron and Maman, which grants them healing and killing abilities. In their combat forms, their bodies become completely encased in Baron’s killing magic. They wear masks inspired by the art of Frantz Zéphirin, and they wield scythes. Scythes are kind of stupid weapons, but they wield them because the Spirit of Death of New Orleans (quite possibly, Baron Samedi) was described as wielding "a scythe in one hand and a small wooden coffin in the other". (p. 127)

Source: Alvarado, Denise. Witch Queens, Voodoo Spirits, and Hoodoo Saints: A Guide to Magical New Orleans. Weiser Books, 2022.

The whole idea is that it’s an Underworld counterpart to the Exorcists. In the event of an all-out war, I like to believe that Heaven is WAY stronger than Hell… Sera just BODIES Lucifer and there’s a bunch of super-strong Archangels + Seraphim + Cherubim, etc… that have yet to be revealed. Charlie would be a SERIOUS underdog and would need to recruit forces from other realms to stand a chance. So she would have to try to win over Maman and get this army on her side. 

I specify Maman because I think it is really easy for the Maman character to get overshadowed by the Baron character, where she’s just his wife and doesn’t have an important role on her own. I think the way to avoid this is to make them “yin and yang” - masculine and feminine counterparts. Baron interacts with men, Maman interacts with women, and both interact with nonbinary people (someone further down the masculine spectrum interacts with Baron more frequently, while someone further down the feminine spectrum interacts with Maman more frequently). For this reason, I tried to design Maman’s personality in a way to make her interactions with Charlie fun. At first, you think this is another Emily archetype, but the more you learn about her it’s just like, wow… I didn’t know psychopaths could be this nice!

A comment on transgender representation: Previously, I commented on the invisibility of trans men in media (more broadly, the trans masculine spectrum). I’m a little worried that this might have come across as me saying that transfems have good representation in media. That is not at all the case - especially when race and class accounted for.

This is a really dense topic that I can’t do justice in a couple short paragraphs, but key point: The worst, most offensive portrayals of transgender people usually involve transfems. So while there are more positive examples of transfems in media, these are necessary to undo the damage done by gross negative portrayals.

Take ONE PIECE for example. 

In One Piece, there is a horrendous portrayal of trans women in the form of Kamabakka Kingdom. Literally, just a bunch of hideous men in dresses, and they’re all crazy sexual predators… it’s AWFUL!!! (although, not gonna lie… I was entertained by Sanji getting thrown here because I think pre-timeskip Sanji is really annoying, and it was funny seeing him cry in his own personal Hell…) This was later rectified with Kikunojo, who is one of the best non-stereotypical portrayals of a trans woman from a recent anime! In the middle of being stereotypical and non-stereotypical, there are the characters of Bon Clay and Ivankov (who I would describe as nonbinary; not binary trans women) (Emporio Ivankov is one of my favorite characters in all of One Piece…) However, there are no examples of trans men, or nonbinary trans mascs. (Yamato is NOT transgender… that was always just mistranslation + people having no understanding of Japanese culture/fictional tropes) This exemplifies the hypervisibility of transfems and invisibility of transmascs.

The invisibility of transmascs (more broadly, masculine of center AFABs) is reflected in the language of the Haitian “M Community”. An important detail: I have been using terms that originate in the Western bourgeoisie, such as “LGBTQ”, “transmasc”/”transfem” and “AFAB”/”AMAB”, but these are not words Haitians use to describe themselves - especially those from the Black proletariat. There are several words to describe those of the “masculine sex” (assigned male at birth / AMAB). These individuals experience extreme prejudice and violence - including the former president of KOURAJ, who was killed in 2019. There is one word used - usually, as an insult - to describe anyone of “the feminine sex who has homosexual relations, even episodically”, including “all heterosexual persons of the feminine sex having homosexual relations”. There are no words to describe masculine of center lesbians, or individuals on the transmasculine spectrum. This disparity is found in many world cultures, and is most pronounced among the lower classes. The reasons for this are so complex, I will spare you the dissertation.

Long story short, good and diverse representation of transgender and gender nonconforming (TGNC) people is lacking - especially at the intersection of race, class, and gender. As far as I can tell, the vast majority of good representation of transfems involves white people or the whitest POC imaginable (usually, white looking mixed race people, or white looking East Asians) or it’s non humans who are racially ambiguous. Whenever nonwhite transfems are shown, they are usually given Eurocentric features (e.g., pale skin, straight and/or blond hair, etc…) and not given narrative importance. Not to mention, the extreme sexualization and fetishization of these characters, where it’s often some nameless, vilified prostitute... It’s a terrible message to send to transfems of color!

Helluva Boss actually has a very positive portrayal of a trans woman in Sally Mae. She’s literally the most important relationship Millie has, outside of her husband Moxxie! Her design is up there with Kikunojo… actually, I think her design is better, since she’s voiced by a trans voice actress. But I think it would add something to include transfem characters who are not racially ambiguous - either, former humans who are unambiguously Black, or nonhuman characters who are racially coded to be Black. 

That’s why all of the Banshees are transfeminine; or, in Haitian terms, part of the “M community”. So is their commander, “Queen of the Damned” (described below). That’s why all the Banshees wear women’s clothes but have flat chests, which become visible in their combat forms. They should all be voiced Black transfems and/or drag queens.

In real life, there is a broader range of gender presentation in the “M community”; I chose to make the “Banshees” more feminine presenting so that they could serve as a visual counterpart to the Exorcists. 

Similar to the celebration of Halloween, Fet Gede is a big holiday for them, and the other members of the Underworld. I made up the “Banshees” because Hazbin Hotel has native species to Hell which contrast with the former humans (Sinners); hence, the Underworld has a native species (“Banshees”) and a species of former humans (“Gede”, described below)

GEDE

The second species is called “Gede”. They are former humans - not native to the Underworld. Unlike demons and angels, their appearances closely resemble how they appeared as humans, but it is a superficial resemblance. Their bodies are A LOT more durable than human bodies, to the point that the average Gede is a lot stronger than the average angel or demon; however, there are a lot fewer of them. Banshees outnumber Gede by a large margin. Both species are very strong because they are empowered by Baron and Maman’s magic. 

The “Gede” are supposed to be similar to how the Gede are described in real life, but if it is offensive to call them “Gede” I would be fine with renaming them to “Undead”. 

DEEPEST INSANE FANFICTION LORE, but as described here these are the conditions for joining the Gede:

You must have paid proper respect to Baron and Maman your entire human life. 

You never sinned once* OR withstood all of Baron’s attempts to scare you without ever once feeling afraid

*STRICTEST IMAGINABLE definition of the word “sin” is used, including “sinful” thoughts and dreams.

For you see, the reason Baron likes to terrorize people with nightmares is because, well… it’s totally just because he likes scaring people. But it’s also a test to see which humans are worthy of joining his army. He doesn’t think anyone who got scared of him makes the cut.

On top of these conditions, they might deny someone entry just because they didn’t like that person, for some reason… for these reasons, there are very few people who ever got to join. Most of the people who join were en route to Heaven, so a lot decline. This pertains to why most of the Gede are Black, dark skinned, and LGBTQ… specifically those who were rejected by their families and don’t have loved ones in Heaven.

Everyone who joins the Gede is immediately forced to agree to have their hands cut off. Unless you never sinned once, Baron does not explain why. He just orders you to do this as the initiation ritual. If you don’t agree to this, you’re denied entry. But if you agree, the process is very painful but extremely quick. He cuts off your hands, but immediately replaces them with his and Maman’s magic. Maman’s magic is the most potent healing magic in existence, so the pain is over in an instant. The reason this process is so quick isn’t because Baron actually cares about your wellbeing (unless you never sinned…) it’s so that there is no loss of dexterity. Joining the Gede does mean you are joining his army, but for the most there really aren’t any wars… For the most part, you kinda just get to party, become really powerful, and don’t have to deal with the corruption in Heaven or Hell… it’s a pretty good deal! But you are forced to wear a top hat, because these two are dictators…

They also force humans to crossdress and act like the other gender for their own amusement. (I don’t know if this is legit but Maya Deren and Zora Neale Hurston described the actual deities doing this shit… absolutely diabolical…!)

Unlike the Banshees, the Gede can be of any gender identity. I was picturing a wide range of underrepresented gender identities and sexualities being shown, like “Ezili’s children” and masculine of center lesbians. Together with the Banshees, they form an army that is commanded by “Queen of the Damned” (described below)

If anyone was curious, the man shown here is actually a minor character in my fanfiction. He’s actually not representative of the typical Gede, as he’s supposed to be a tribute to Doctor John Montenee, but for what it’s worth his sexual orientation isn’t defined and is open to interpretation. Here’s a description for him: https://the-girl-who-didnt-smile.tumblr.com/post/757897862098124800/the-fate-of-the-preacher 

QUEEN OF THE DAMNED

The commander of the Underworld army is called “Queen of the Damned”. She was loosely inspired by Gede Nibo, but she has been gender bent to be on the transfeminine spectrum. (at some point in the near future, I plan to write something about Gede Nibo and why I previously claimed that he is queer…) Actually, she was more inspired by the documentary Des hommes et Dieux / Of Men and Gods, where her appearance is loosely based on one of the interviewees (Innocente…I just liked her style). Although I’m using the pronoun “she” to refer to her, she’s nonbinary and uses any pronouns. I was picturing her being someone who has Haitian heritage but is part of the diaspora, since many of the characters in Hazbin Hotel are from various ethnic groups in America. For this reason, I think she would identify as both part of the M Community, and as transfeminine. Naturally, she is herself a houngan, and an extremely powerful one at that.

Aside from Alastor’s mother, this is the only other human who never sinned once. In her human life, she was rejected by her family, and died in a horrific act of violence. Because she was completely sinless, this is the second and final human in all of human history that Baron ever felt sorry for. He was keen on having her join him; she agreed, as she had no one waiting for her in Heaven, and felt comfortable around someone who is also transgender. 

This is the third reason Baron defaults to a transgender avatar: In the millennia he’s existed, he’s observed that a disproportionate number of the people who die in unfair acts of violence are Black and transgender. On some level, his heart is moved by innocent people who die violent and cruel deaths; hence, he chooses a transgender form to make trans people feel comfortable in his presence.

Hilariously, Maman does not have this trait. Well, she’s actually not completely heartless…. Otherwise, it would have been impossible for her to find love. But she’s in love with the embodiment of Ruthlessness itself. For this reason, she has literally never once felt sorry for any innocent person who has ever died. 

“Queen of the Damned” died in the most fucked up and unjust way ever, and yeah… Her heart was unmoved by this. She actually does care about “Queen of the Damned”, but she had to WARM UP to her after she died…!

Her boobs are awesome, and she’s the craziest person in all of existence…

This is basically my dream woman.

Baron and Maman are so OUTRAGEOUSLY overpowered, Baron can just one-shot this entire army in an instant, like it’s nothing…So can Maman, since her pink magic completely destroys their combat forms. I think they just made this army for their amusement, but it wound up becoming a gift for “Queen of the Damned”. 

Queen of the Damned likes these two so much that she didn’t just cut off her hands - she cut off her nose and ears, and tattooed markings onto her body to make herself look like Baron. Out of all the Gede, she styles herself most like him. The doodle shows her combat form; in her non-combat form (not shown) she wears a top hat and has a heavy metal theme. She likes to play around with gender presentation, where she often mixes masculine and feminine elements. Additionally, the sword she wields changes shape, where the pink handle extends and the black blade shrinks. It turns into a magic staff with potent healing powers. Hence, Queen of the Damned is a very powerful combatant and a very powerful healer. She only has a fraction of Baron and Maman’s powers, but uniquely she can kill and heal.

Her combat form and name are both inspired by Aaliyah as Akasha… IT”S AN ASS KICKING UNDEAD VALKYRIE!!!! (she is also inspired by Marvel Valkyrie… this is just a rough draft though…) Basically, the Banshee army is a counterpart to the Exorcists, so she’s a counterpart to Adam. Only, she is for sure stronger than Adam. Her raw attack power is at least as strong as Adam, and she’s WAY smarter and more ruthless in a fight. She is extremely ruthless in a fight because she was personally trained by Baron. She’s also a very smart battle commander. Charlie would have to win over Maman AND Queen of the Damned in order to form an alliance with this army. 

Because this is his favorite human ever, if she’s ever in mortal danger Baron appears out of nowhere and immediately kills her opponent. But it’s only if she’s in mortal danger (someone on the opposing force has to smart enough to capture her without attempting to kill her). Baron likes her so much that he would totally just kill anyone who inflicts any sort of harm on her, but she’s such a ruthless fighter she hates it whenever he gets involved. Hence, the compromise of him only intervening when she’s in mortal danger. He doesn’t give a shit about the rest of his army…everyone else can go fuck themselves

This is the other thing that can trigger Baron’s Berserk mode, other than Maman dying. In theory this should be impossible, but if Queen of the Damned somehow dies, he goes Berserk. This only happens if he isn’t fused with Maman; if he’s fused with her, her presence calms him down enough to halt the Berserk Mode (in other words, there are no conditions where you can BERSERK MODE DYAD… that would be the most broken thing ever!!)

(if you haven’t deduced this, all these ideas would get remixed and somehow reworked into the alternate concept. In the alternate concept, the Underworld has a Haitian gangster theme to it, but there’s still this zone that’s inspired by ballroom culture and they celebrate Fet Gede… I have an alternate concept for the Gede Nibo character called “Port au Prince”, which I plan to post soon…)

Also I forgot to mention this, but that’s not rum they’re drinking… it’s capsaicin extract. They just diluted it in ethanol (extracted from kleren, no substitutions) to make it look like rum.

They just do this to trick people into thinking it’s rum. This is a very weak drink for them.

[an-aura-about-you]

let's keep going with Handbook for Mortals!

Chapter 12 part 2:

when we last left our hero, Scheherazade just got embarrassed as hell because she had no defense for Sofia's legitimate questions and also Sofia is banging Zade's dad. what a queen. I wish I could high five and/or kiss her. easily the best part of the book. maybe I should write Lani Sarem a fan letter about how much I love Sofia.

-we pick up after the show with Zade and Mac taking a walk in the park well after midnight. but since this is Vegas, that's not unusual and there are a lot of people around.

-a guy asks them if they'd like him to do a card trick, and Mac says Zade isn't allowed to do magic? I have no idea where that's coming from. saying that would imply he knows about Zade's magic, but he doesn't. we also know that, if she's not allowed to do magic, she is already breaking that just by participating in the show.

-we once again hear about Zade's showblacks fetish and also she's on this pseudo-date with Mac while in full show makeup. she changed into her street clothes, but seriously? stage makeup on a date? I mean, I guess there are stranger things in Las Vegas, but still.

-ooooooooof Zade says her maternal grandparents were literal... well. she uses the g-slur. between the use of that word and Zade and her mother being porcelain white, I sincerely doubt that anyone in their family is actually Roma. I'm pretty sure Zade is just using the term the way Skye Turner did to describe Sarem. Zade's family, to borrow a phrase I use for a different character I write fanfic about, are people who look like a new age shop threw up on them.

also I haven't forgotten that Zade's family have been landowners in Tennessee since the 1700s AND the family home is comparable to Tara. (I wonder if they use the plantation to grow weed now.)

this feels like it should be a tally for the bigoted language but also a tally for the bigger bigotry at play with Zade/Sarem using the g-slur for themselves.

-ahhh, and here it is: the narration confirms that Zade thinks talking about Spellman being her father would be trouble. WHY didn't we know this before??? also, THIS is confirmation that Zade has known who her father is. everything about the way this is phrased indicates that she has known since the start of the book that Spellman is her father. so why don't the readers, who have been along for the ride of Zade's thoughts this entire time, know this? because it would ruin the twist, of course. but unlike The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, this serves no purpose. or at least, it serves no purpose for Zade because concealing this information only makes things worse for everyone, herself included.

-also I wonder how many other pieces of media I can negatively compare this to. so far, from what I remember, I've compared it to Rebecca, Gone with the Wind, The Disaster Artist, Sunset Boulevard, Legally Blonde, High Noon Over Camelot, Ella Enchanted, The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, and to a lesser extent the 1001 Nights and the Book of Esther to drag Scheherazade about not living up to her name.

-we've also reached page 231 in this book and now, for the first time, Zade is mentioning that she's been wearing a family necklace this whole time. you couldn't find a way to fit that into your description infodump back in Chapter 0?

also, the picture of Zade on the cover shows her wearing the necklace, but the problem with that is it's essentially paratext. covers can and do change, though I doubt this book is ever getting reprinted, but it is on a dust jacket covering a white book bearing the triple moon symbol. dust jackets can get removed or lost. I actually don't know if paperback versions of this book exist, but if they did, they're even flimsier. also, in the unlikely event that this book ever did get a second edition, they would probably have to use different cover art since the one on the dust jacket is plagiarized.

-she also claims the necklace is very important, but if it's so important, why are we only just now hearing about it over halfway through the book?????

-after Zade starts getting evasive about her parents, which I don't even understand because she COULD just say, "I don't like to talk about my parents," and then move on to safer territory, Mac starts tickling her and that segment ends with him straddling her in public and giving her a kiss. dang, guess what they say about Las Vegas is true.

-we then skip ahead to Zade and Jackson running into each other while she's on her way to lunch. after crashing into each other, Jackson puts Zade in a kabedon.

and I'm just gonna use the first gif I found for that because it's hilarious

-unfortunately Jackson is interrupted from making his move by a little girl who's a fan of Zade's and wants a picture with her.

-ok, I'm baffled about why Zade is the performer this little girl has picked out. the girl's mom says the girl won't stop talking about Zade after seeing her last night, but the only trick we know Zade has in the show is her high dive trick. that doesn't seem like the sort of thing that would capture a little girl so much, to the point that there was nothing else about the show that was more interesting.

and this is not knocking high dive acts. that shit IS impressive! it takes a level of courage and skill I know I'm surely lacking. but I would think a little girl might be more interested in something like, say, Sofia's Dance Illusion that's no longer in the show. (will I ever stop talking about Sofia? probably not, but can you honestly say I'm wrong about this? what do you think is going to capture a little girl's imagination more, an impressive high dive act or a beautiful magic dancer?)

idk maybe the kid wants to be a daredevil. mom better keep an eye on her or this might happen

-and of course the little girl has to say she wants to be just like Zade when she grows up. I am currently channeling Strong Bad's energy from this moment:

(actually I would love to see SB talk about how this is the crappiest Vegas show he's ever been to. I think he'd say something like there's too much boring acrobatic and magic crap, or acromagic crap, and bands that should be confined to AM radio only and stop fouling up our precious FM stations. also where are the showgirls?)

-Zade tells us she likes using quotes and sayings so that she can feel like she can always comment on something without sounding dumb. so when are you gonna stop sounding dumb? (ok that one was low-hanging fruit, but it's not my fault that Sarem is bending the branch down towards me.)

-you know those jokes they'd sometimes make in SpongeBob Squarepants where Sandy would rattle off some ridiculous list of things like it was a Texas saying? Zade is doing the unfunny version of that talking about how Jackson has charm flowing out of him like sweat.

and the chapter pretty much ends there with Zade moving on so she can go to lunch. that scene was there to reinforce the two things we know: Zade is amazing and Jackson is hot.

I mean I guess it's good that this chapter sort of gave us moments with both love interests, but all of this feels like some kind of salad of a chapter. it was all about Zade's relationships, but the most unifying part of it was the first part with her talking to Zeb and Sofia and getting on slightly better terms with both of them.

also this is how I'm picturing Sofia now for anyone who wants to see:

hey if Sarem is gonna put the term Magi Girl in her book, I figure it's not that much of a stretch to visualize Sofia as Tira Misu from Sorcerer Hunters.

[newyorkkiss]

its me 🥄 im still around im like.. on tumblr to an embarrassing degree because i have. well, problems i suppose. so rest assured i am, more often than not, seeing and enjoying the posts- i really do like all the fun stuff you find and the things you scan and the photos and gifs you post/make! also btw i just got done listening to that mount kimbie/king krule song you posted and i absolutely loved that. sorry i dont reach out much or come off anon ever its the. aforementioned problems. fun fact i live in united states central timezone (spoon technically qualifies as a semi local band to me) and have for all this time! i just dont ever sleep right haha. due to, circumstances. things sure suck and are weird huh! in a general sense. i think you can probably relate. 🫂 <- this is us if you want.

anywayyy sorry this got weird and sad lmaooo please keep listening to good music, including spoon, and posting about it so i can see!! i need to keep learning about how genuinely odd (affectionate <3) britt daniel is. something to be said for how ethereal and feylike he can come off while simultaneously being the most literally just some gen x guy ever. sir why are you willowy.. why are your features so delicate. why is your hair so downy. WHY are you wearing the lamest fit ive ever seen. and so forth, you know what i mean. i also like learning from you about what an adorable babygirlifiable dork alex fischel is which i had been sorely overlooking

obligatory ↑

but yes spoon anon i missed you so much. you are so loved. please feel free to literally say anything any time. cutting this cuz i'm gonna yap.

that description of britt is so... accurate. like nail on the head 100% truth, words taken straight from my mouth, etc. he can genuinely be so beautiful – it's actually stunning. sometimes he can look like an evil goblin lol. it's astounding. seeing it irl is kind of blinding, hypnotic in a way? he moves so fluidly and perfectly. like 100% control and command of the space he's in – he knows what he's doing. like he could just be like any other performer and just stay stood in one place barely moving – let alone interacting with any other members, which is very lovely to witness – all interaction between them is so heartwarming, like you just know they all actually love doing what they're doing and enjoy performing. they goof off sometimes, don't give a fuck when they do. it's just lovely.

and yes alex is literally the babiest girl to have ever existed imo. only one other man is that good to me but i'm not mentioning (not shameful, just don't think anybody cares. it's sebastian vettel.) that aside he is also so... bizarre? which is something even i overlooked for an extremely long time until i was like Okay what is up w this guy what is his lore. he has a deeply attention deficit riddled childlike quirkiness that i have to resonate with. his tweets on the spoon twt are really unhinged. even his personal tweets are unhinged. he says some of the most random shit sometimes in interviews. he somehow manages to look so fucking beautiful when he's bored as fuck in interviews. i made a heap of gifs from one bts video from their twms era acl performance (need to track down the full thing and make more) and he's so fucking drunk it's endearing – he's just vibing the fuck out in his own little world the entire time. in the post-show interview he's looks utterly hammered sipping from a bottomless solo cup, not saying anything.

^ literally girls when they're drunk and have no idea what anybody is saying.

it is impossible to hate him. he's genuinely hilarious and all second hand descriptions of him being an instigator and a wild man are extremely accurate. and he's also obviously extremely talented. it's so jhghd to see how -.- he kind of gets whenever britt complements him on that. i'd have to dig around but there was a lots era pod they did and britt complemented him on his ability to play guitar which is a more recent-ish thing for him and said he's better than he is and alex was like Ummm okay? that's not true -__- and it's like ohgh man.... like the first (noisy) solo on satellite is alex btw and it's good?? he even bashes himself for not being able to sing too which is such a lie he sounds like an angel whenever he does live backup... but alas. he is so loved. we love him. everyone loves him. we all know britt loves him. he is the entire universe.

also yes i will forever be posting my garbicth music need not worry... nothing will ever stop me from posting spotify links here or anywhere else. i have a massive general diary playlist of everything i listen to on a near daily basis and it's updated constantly. it's just one huge log of everything i've enjoyed since i was 16 lol. only becomes truly curated after mid 2017, though. also i apologize for the vast amount of greyed out local file tracks in that playlist but i swear a lot of them are worth tracking down if you're really interested.