#i mean like.. major ramblings too lmaooooo

[rebouks]

Since Somnium is over, I figured a good ol' ramble was in order for anyone who might be interested.. ⚆_⚆

I thought it'd be fun to go over a few things I've wanted to talk about in more detail, as well as answer some questions you guys had and maybe to spill some bts tea?! We'll see...

Why does Oscar seem to bring out the best in the people around him?

A loaded question, and one that changes depending on the person in question; but to put it simply, he's relatable. The perfect acquaintance, Oscar's brash but not judgemental, he's easy-going, open enough, and to be perfectly honest, he doesn't give a shit what near strangers think about him. He doesn't lie to impress you, act differently or tiptoe around your opinions; he tells it how it is and he is what he is, like it or not. Perfectly flawed, self-assured (but also not..) and intelligent, he has no qualms about confronting you with your own flaws, but he's subtle about it, casual, intrigued even. He's on a quest to do better, so I think his determination can be infectious. He's not obnoxious about it though, if anything, his own struggles make him more approachable; anyone who spends even a small amount of time with him can easily tell that he's just as busy trying to pick up the pieces of his own life as well. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.. right?

Why did Cookie stick around, despite what Oscar put her through?

Alexa, play Hopelessly Devoted to You... Honestly, Courtney's relationship with Oscar hasn't always been the healthiest. Abandoned, neglected and failed by the system as a child, she's always been obsessed by the idea of a perfect family; and to her, Oscar was it. She fully believes that he's her soulmate, and she fully believes in him too. It would've been easy for Cookie to become bitter and cautious, but that's just not her. She's spontaneous, kind-hearted and deeply believes there's some good in everyone; perhaps naively so... Majorly infatuated with Oscar's energy and the life they could have together, she rarely doubted him, even if everyone around her was screaming otherwise. Part of the reason Oscar fell so hard for her in the first place was because she was the only person who really saw him for who he was and actively encouraged him to be that person. Sure, she didn't expect the journey to be quite so.. eventful, but she still knew he'd get there one day, and she wanted to be with him for that, no matter the cost.

What made Wyatt change his mind?

A tough question, to be honest. Wyatt's well aware that his perception of life has been warped by the world he was brought up in; but never before did he think to question it. His focus for most of his existence has been to impress his father; but after realising just how close Oscar had gotten to toppling that house of cards, he began to wonder.. why? If Arturo's empire collapsed beneath him, would Wyatt still want to impress him? He realised the answer was no. He realised he didn't care about his father as a person, he didn't care about his brother, nor about the success, or the money, so what was the point? It didn't help that Arturo seemed so enamoured with Oscar either, but despite how it may have seemed, Wyatt didn't blame Oscar. Instead, he decided he'd rather get revenge on the father that failed him. Courtney got under his skin too, not because he was particularly jealous of Oscar, but because she was the first person he could remember that actually wanted to talk to him.. just because. Maybe it wasn't the real him, and maybe she was just being nice, but it still struck a cord. Wyatt's least favourite thing about himself is how he reacts without thinking; or if he does, his mind usually jumps to "what's the most fucked up thing I can do to cause chaos here..?" He doesn't want to be like that though, and he doesn't understand why he isn't immediately repulsed by those thoughts. He's spent a good chunk of time trying to figure out why he's like that. When he found out Courtney was pregnant he actually felt bad. He clung onto that feeling like his life depended on it; a shred of raw emotion in a sea of hate. Maybe he wasn't who he thought he was after all? In the end, I think he realised he didn't want to be the villain anymore, and Oscar presented the perfect opportunity to act on that feeling...

Why didn't Wyatt, among others, end up in prison?

To keep it somewhat simple, I'll stick to three main reasons; timing, the lack of evidence, and Norma/Eugene knowing when to pick their battles. Arturo confronting Oscar and co. actually ended up doing them a favour. Though it might've played out differently if he hadn't taken that bullet to the head, so thanks Leah! Kian ended up in prison only because he stuck around and confessed, if he was smart like everyone else and left town/laid low, he probably would've been fine. Because (hi, timing!) by the time Norma/Eugene really honed in on Arturo's little empire, it'd already fallen apart. They'd questioned Spencer 'til they were blue in the face (to give him a tiny bit of credit, he's loyal and smart.. spilling anything about Arturo wouldn't have done him any favours, nor would it have kept him out of prison.. or made him feel too great about himself, so he kept quiet) Kaden, Joey, Wyatt and Darien all left town, and Oscar n' co. were busy being all "boring" and shit. They knew what they were dealing with though, hence putting eyes on the boys, but it didn't amount to anything; and although they knew that Oscar n' co. were involved, they had no hard evidence.. "so and so said he did this" or "we know they were involved but we can't back it up with any hard evidence" doesn't hold up well in court. No one was willing to rat on anyone else, no one was up to no good, half of them were missing; it was clear to them (after many, many years in the business) that no one was coming to take over, and that business wasn't about to continue as usual under a new "leader". So instead, they picked their battles; shutting down the drug smuggling operations abroad, and tackling the likely still operating trafficking ring. Also, Norma really believes in people, despite her career choice. She's more than willing to trust her gut and give the good folk the benefit of the doubt. She can tell a bad apple from the bunch, and the boys weren't it.

As an author's side note, I always knew I didn't want Bruno to end up in prison again, which is half the reason Wyatt isn't in prison either. Their parallels are pretty strong (except personality ofc) as Cookie pointed out! So, either they both went to jail, or neither of 'em did. I chose the latter, just because..

Q&A time!

Was Leah's end caused by her inner contradictions?

Hm, I think Leah met her end due to apathy, the belief that justice would eventually run it's course with or without her, and a morbid sense of.. just wanting to see what would happen? She could've left if she really wanted to, and although she still felt loyal enough to Kian not to help the boys, she kinda wanted to see them succeed from the side-lines, despite the risk. Depressed and suicidal, Leah didn't care what happened to her. I didn't really plan another ending for her tbh, but if she didn't die she would've stuck around, maybe visited the boys now n' then, maybe even Kian. She would've forever felt empty and unable to move on though I think, so maybe she's better off...

Did I ever want to give Ivan & Matilda another chance?

Aha! Honestly, no.. I think like Tilda, I felt it'd run it's course. We didn't see ofc, but the pair had been on again off again for years so it's probably the millionth time they've broken up lmaoo.. I like to think they both realised they just weren't meant to be :')

Did I ever think about killing Courtney off again?

Sometimes, but I think Oscar would've been so broken and idk if he would've succeeded otherwise, which was the whole point of the story I suppose.

What would an unhappy ending for Somnium look like?

Well, I guess Cookie would be dead.. Oscar would still be heavily addicted to various substances/estranged from his family. Ivan would've died, Bruno would be in prison, Leah would still be stuck with Kian, Wyatt would never have regained his tiny amount of humanity, Artie n' co. would've somehow gotten away with everything or put the blame on someone else and be sunning it up in Sulani or wherever... It doesn't bear thinking about really, does it? ◉_◉

Did I ever plan on killing Bruno?

I briefly considered him getting shot by Arturo instead of Ivan and his dying as a result of that, buuut.. I don't think his death would've affected much (despite Ivan being heartbroken ofc) or furthered the plot in any way, so I didn't see the point.

What happened to the workers of Lucie's?

Those who didn't really know much would've probably been like, ffs I gotta find another gig now? LAME! But most of 'em have just moved on, counting themselves lucky they weren't "chosen".

Will we see Rickey & Pat again?

Maybe. It's a shame they lost touch, but I wanted to show a clear fork in the road for Oscar and what he gave up by sticking around/falling down the rabbit hole. To be fair as well, Rickey & Oscar never had much in common other than a love of computers and the amount of drugs they could consume in one sitting. Sometimes best friends drift apart, y'know? And that's okay!

Did I think about redeeming Arturo? Would he have let the boys go, if they'd asked?

Yes and.. maybe. He was genuinely fond of Oscar, and he thought of Bruno as a son in his own way too. The guy had taken him under his wing over a decade ago, he was gutted when he found out B was in on it. Artie wanted to kill him though, and he was going to.. and if Leah didn't kill him, we would've seen that he couldn't actually pull the trigger :') It was too late for him, but he would've considered taking the fall for his boys, like he said he would. Although.. Riona might've killed him or gone on her own rampage at that point so maybe it's a good thing he died after all LOL

What's Bruno's story?

It's a short story, to be honest. Directionless and troubled, he fell into the wrong crowd after his school years; winding up in prison following an "armed" robbery gone wrong. He met even worse types inside, and upon leaving, was taken under Arturo's wing.

What was it about Bruno that finally caused Ivan to accept his sexuality?

Nothing in particular, I don't think. Ivan had known he was bi since high school, but he'd never really developed strong feelings for another man. He figured he was just "kinda bi" and mostly liked women, which suited him fine; his father's homophobia left him feeling ashamed about that side of himself, so it was "natural" for him to ignore it. Except it wasn't, and he fell in love :')

Did Oscar tell Ivan/Bruno about Wyatt's visit?

Nope, him and Cookie have kept that to themselves. They might bring it up if anyone asks, but he's gone now, so what's the point in stressing them about it?

Who was supposed to die but lived/live but die?

Well, y'all know I barely plan shit so nothing was set in stone lmaooo.. Ivan was supposed to die though tbh, but I kinda thought that Oscar didn't deserve to be punished anymore (for being the reason Ivan stayed) and I'd grown attached to him, so I let the dice decide for me as a "last chance" type thing. Arturo wasn't always supposed to die either... Idk this question is hard to answer cos I never planned anything out properly ahahakdjksj

Was the wedding (and Robin) the original end game or did that evolve through character growth?

Um I had no end game until the end sdkjsdkj.. but I knew I wanted Oscar to have a happy ending, and that him n' Cookie would end up together too. Robin was a happy accident thanks to wicked whims, but I knew they'd end up having lots of kiddos and although the timing was bad for poor Cookie, in terms of their ages/the timeline for my future plans, it worked well so I just went with it. It took me a long time to figure out what the end would be, but as ever, I naturally came to the conclusion along with the story. Everyone got a bit of a wrap up arc in the last chapter, which I think set the stage for a happy ending quite nicely.

What three characters do I consider the most evil/irredeemable?

Riona. Not a maternal bone in her body; she's cold, calculating and headstrong, she'll mow down anyone in her way without a second thought, and she'll enjoy it. Kian. I know we all kinda felt sorry for him in the end but make no mistake, he's a selfish man, undeserving of such sympathy! He may not have wanted to take over the family business, but he didn't see anything wrong with it, nor was he glad it was over. When shit hit the fan, all he could think about was that he didn't want to go to prison, he didn't consider anyone else's situation or how they might feel, not even Leah. The only reason he handed himself over was because he didn't want to deal with the guilt of ignoring Leah's last wish, not because he actually thought it was the right thing to do. Killing Riona wasn't even for Leah's sake either, he did that because she goaded him, because she insulted him. Last of all, he didn't give up Wyatt because he didn't want to deal with his wrath once he found out, not because he feels particularly loyal to him; I actually think he probably dislikes Wyatt even more now. He's an entitled asshole of a daddy's boy, basically. Ashton. His only regret is that he got caught, he doesn't care about the people who've suffered due to his actions, nor will he ever change. All he cares about is power and money. He comes across as friendly and amenable, but only if you're useful to him, or he owes you something. Prison will not affect his morals in the slightest.. in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he's already running some kind of protection ring in there by now.

What planned romances were discarded/which romantic pairings too you by surprise?

The beauty of my complete disregard for planning is that these guys tend to half write themselves lmaooo.. Rhys & Tommy took me by surprise tbh, but they kept gravitating toward each other behind the scenes and even started flirting by themselves so I was like.. okay! Similarly with Bruno/Ivan to be honest. I always had in mind that Bruno would develop a bit of a thing for Ivan but I didn't necessarily plan it as mutually romantic to begin with, more that he'd just be quite protective of Ivan, or that he'd be an unrequited love. As Ivan began working on himself though, it became clear to me that he was much more comfortable with himself, which led to his openness in actually considering more than a friendship between the two. Though I did think it was a bit of a shame him and Mia weren't compatible for a while, but they make better besties anyway. I also considered Ivan ending up with his one night stand, Jessie; but he was already in love with Bruno at that point and she didn't seem interested so.. no. I briefly wanted Courtney to end up with someone else for a while, someone who was "perfect" but didn't have the same spark as Oscar. I realised that she didn't need that to come to the conclusion that he was "it" for her though, so I scrapped the idea.

Phew.. if you read all that you deserve a whole tray of cookies! 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

It's super fun to delve into this kinda stuff though, so feel free to ask more questions if you want! Now that I've got my main ramblings out of the way, I'd like to work on another rambly post outlining my plans/ideas for the future so.. that'll be coming soon-ish, life permitting! I'm kinda bummed that Somnium is over but I'm suuuper glad the big plot stuff is out of the way, I've been having fun setting up a new save and thinking up a vague direction I want to go in. It makes me sad not being able to share any of it yet though, so I wanna get an announcement out asap! That way I can get the opening "scenes" out of the way and be able to share bloopers n' such again!

As a treat for reading this far, the name of my new "story not story" will be: Forever In Between 🤭 I really hope there's no other stories on here called that tho kdskjdk

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA-

I forgot two things since I was so upset lmfao: first of all, I see that chanthony slip in there👀 they were totally doing that thing where they’re both way too cautious/oblivious/nervous to start anything, but I agree that after the duel they’re going to totally get together.

Oh my god between Simon and daphne being caught in a scandal and now benedict and clover- I wonder if Charlotte and Anthony will be too lmao. Like imagine the heart attack lady bridgerton will have lmaooooo like why have I raised my children so poorly.

But the other bridgerton sibs are going to be roasting them about this for the rest of their lives. And whenever they’re going to get in trouble they’re just going to be like ‘hey mom at least I wasn’t a part of the great trifecta of scandals in that one season’ LMAO can you imagine???

Also anthony being honor bound to wed Charlotte- it being a reminder of his duty, of what he is going to have to leave behind. THE ANGST!! THE DRAMA!! And Charlotte wouldn’t understand why he’d be so torn/distancing himself and wondering if it was her.

This isn’t even canon yet and I’m already losing my fucking mind.

Okay the other thing I wanted to say was that Josie and clover remind me of petal and her sister in twisted!!! I know we haven’t met her yet but just the overprotective older sister vibes and the ability to be a lot tougher/meaner than the younger sister, plus the feeling that they must protect their younger siblings/failed them when they got hurt by their parents.

As a bonus, teddy is totally the equivalent of petal’s niece

Fuck I am losing my mind over every single detail in this story it is so fucking good (I’m not surprised because it’s you and your stuff is always amazing, but I am relishing it)

also I feel like I’m way more invested in every single detail than I was in enamored idk why lol. Maybe clover is more relatable??

also I feel like those hour long YouTube videos going in depth on a single tv episode or whatever, and meanwhile everyone else is like ‘maybe the curtains really are just blue and it doesn’t mean anything’ lmao

I need another word besides also. Every time I send an ask I use that word 20 million times lmao but that’s just the equivalent of me rambling on without a plan I guess lol

Omg omgggg❤️❤️

I feel like the duel will definitely serve as a wake up call for them 😍

Wait, are we calling them Chanthony or Lothany by the way? 😁

Lolll Clover and Benedict starting this season's scandal marriages 😂

‘hey mom at least I wasn’t a part of the great trifecta of scandals in that one season’ I AM DYING AT THIS-

Darling this is hilarious! 😂 Someone would definitely say it, and both Anthony and Benedict would be glaring at them 😂

Oooh Anthony being honor bound to wed Charlotte! That would be very interesting! Like, I think Charlotte is such a sweet romantic, so she would be so confused as to why he all of a sudden got a bit distant with her 😱 But he can never be distant with her for so long so eventually -before the wedding- he would open up to her 🥰

I totally see what you mean with Josie! Like, she's definitely much tougher than Clover and very protective of her, just like Mina was with Petal ❤️

Awww this is so sweet of you! 🥰🥰 ILYSM!❤️

I feel like those hour long YouTube videos going in depth on a single tv episode or whatever, and meanwhile everyone else is like ‘maybe the curtains really are just blue and it doesn’t mean anything’ My love, I majored in literature, the curtains are never just blue for me 😂❤️ Symbolism my beloved 😂

I'm the sameeee! I use "like" and "also" a lot so no worries, I get you 😂😂

[elfyourmother]

"💙: how would my muse handle seeing their object of affection falling in love with someone else?" pls feel free to ramble bc I'm a compersion fiend lmaooooo

yesss I was hoping someone would ask this one because. well. jksdfs

Gisele absolutely adores when someone she loves falls in love with someone else. All of those things I say about love being intoxicating to her apply equally if not more so when it comes to her lovers falling in love. She gets so much vicarious pleasure from seeing her beloveds experiencing that themselves, whether it’s with her or others. She truly lives to see her lovers happy, which is why she’s so encouraging about it. It helps of course that she’s very confident in herself but truly this woman doesn’t have a jealous bone in her body. Jealousy confuses her, legitimately so, and always has. Gisele has never believed in the starvation economy view of love and always says that it isn’t like a cup of sugar that runs out. That is something that she believes that quite sincerely, too. Her beloved loving someone else doesn’t mean that she’s suddenly going to be starved of their love or affection; she doesn’t believe their love for another inherently diminishes the love they have for her, any more than her own love for all these different people is diminished by the fact that she loves so many. To the contrary, their happiness is her own. And when someone she loves falls in love with someone else she’s involved with, and they go from metamours to lovers having seen them through her eyes? It’s like every holiday all at once, the sun shining at midnight, eternal summer. She can’t feel anything but tremendous joy, that love is so shared and multiplies. And this feeling is so fundamental to how Gisele sees the universe that it really can’t be overstated. In a very real sense, she can’t help but see the love her beloved shares with someone else as a wonderful part of who they are--this person she loves.

I absolutely can’t state enough how this shared worldview is a major foundation of her relationship with Haurchefant in particular, because he feels the exact same way, arguably more than anyone Gisele has ever known. Thancred does as well, but Haurche takes compersion to a whole other level and it’s one of the reasons why the two of them fell so madly in love with each other and work so well together. Whenever Haurchefant tells Gisele he’s in love with another person she literally swoons and squees because as far as she’s concerned, everyone deserves to have Haurchefant’s love in their life and she encourages it greatly; Ysayle was probably the prime example of this, I cannot tell you the sheer joy Gisele felt when she got to the First and saw firsthand how they were slowly falling for each other. And it was 100% Gisele’s doing that Haurchefant and Stephanivien finally got together, because it broke her heart to see them suffering in silence for as long as they did, when she loved them both so dearly; she literally made them sit down with Francel and mediated the emotional processing for the three of them and helped them all work things out. The Elfpile(tm) especially is built on this concept; it certainly helps that the lads had varying degrees of familiarity/involvement with one another before she entered the picture but even as Ysayle is concerned, there’s a lot of “I want her to be loved as much as they love me, I want her to share this beautiful thing I have because I love her so dearly”. In general you will never find a bigger shipper for her partners and other people than Gisele Surana des Fortemps. Even for her partners and metamours.

Probably the other best example of this, and more recent, was Gisele going back to Elpis and seeing just how much Hades truly loved Hythlodaeus. I mean she knew they were lovers because Phantom!Hyth told her so in what I like to call Dream Amaurot (lol FFX) but Hades didn’t talk about it very often upon his return other than to confirm the relationship the one time Gisele asked, because it was far too painful for him to discuss and she never pried about it out of respect and compassion for him. Of course it helps that Hythlodaeus is very, very easy to love but one of the reasons Gisele fell so hard for him during her time in Elpis was because of the way Emet-Selch felt about him (and here I need to note that she very much had a crush on even Phantom!Hyth in all his weenwoon glory, long before she went back in time and met the real one). But she literally fell in love with Hades all over again, and more tbqh, in large part because it confirmed everything she knew about Hades all along, even when he was Tempered Ascian Paragon Emet-Selch: that everything he did, he did for love of his people and the world, and all of that was encapsulated in his love for this very specific man. She felt as though she understood him more than she ever really had.

That’s not to say that Gisele doesn’t have her moments of insecurity or doubt, but these things are always internalized for her rather than projected onto others the way jealousy usually expresses itself, if that makes sense. With Hades and Hythlodaeus for instance, it’s not “what if neither of them wants me anymore now that his lost love that he sacrificed so much for has returned?", so much as “I am a mere fragment of this woman they both loved so dearly and for so long, what if it’s just that shard of her they love, and I can’t live up to their memories?”. Of course they are both quick to tell her that they love her for her, not simply or even mostly because she was Azem. Yes, Gisele does share some of the same fundamental traits as Aphrodite, but she’s different in many others. And Hythlodaeus especially will tell her that none of them are as they once were, and that’s okay; who they are now is what matters.

But this is just the way Gisele is, I could go on and on about it (and have, at length fshjdks), but ultimately compersion is Gisele’s default state of being and it’s as addicting to her as being in love herself.

[magnetiix]

Willow Rambles, Part 6

On the topic of “Work Mode”

This is a unique aspect of my robots in particular that I love to toss around a lot. I realized that I’ve never really gone into any specific detail about it, so let’s dive in!

Those who have been following me for a while and reading my posts closely might have noticed that my muses - particularly Blues, who is probably the best example - have... really two distinct personalities that are dependent on the situation and I don’t mean the Spamton possession. 

This is intentional!

This is, as you may have guessed, what I call “work mode,” and I do so because that secondary personality is what comes out when a Robot Master is focusing on something pertaining to their purpose/primary objective, whatever it may be. The reason for this is that for robots, all robots, not just the sentient ones, fulfilling one’s purpose/objective takes the utmost priority. For that reason, their “work mode” personality will tend to be very distinctly serious and focused. They will not like to be interrupted from their work at all. That’s something of a great offense to them, and it is a major inconvenience that isn’t taken lightly. Not even Moon would react very well to being disrupted from her work.

Under the cut, I’ll be going more into each of my active muses’ work modes and what they mean King fans I’m so sorry my brain is SO dead for him rn LMAOOOOO but I’ll add his when I can think of smth/when he comes into the limelight.

Blues, when he’s not in “work mode,” is his completely snarky clown ass personality. Harassing Shadow with paper stars, the intentionally aggravating flirting, all that. “Work mode” is when that severe part of his personality comes out. The harshness, the “ends justify the means,” the breaking-joints-with-a-single-strike-so-you-don’t-get-in-the-way. He’s serious, he means business, and he doesn’t tolerate getting interrupted. This is the side we see the most in the manga, because the manga focuses on the crises that Rock has to face and how he overcomes them (with Blues’ help and supervision!).

“But Willow! What’s his objective here?”

Excellent question! He gives himself objectives, and his objective is to ensure Rock’s survival and maturity so he is prepared for the burden that is being the world’s Hero of Justice.

Even if it means fighting him directly.

Even if it means holding a 14 y/o hostage. (It’s a good thing he’s on good terms with Kalinka now aslkdjhgfas)

Even if it means indirectly causing the burning of Shinjuku and the deaths of dozens of citizens by provoking Bass to raze the city so Rock would learn to not let his naïve pacifism get in the way. He wanted this mantle? He has to grow into it, and Blues’ “work mode” revolves entirely around making sure that he does and assisting where he needs to.

Him trapping Spamton in his body was also “work mode” (as alluded to in this post), because he was acting in the interest of the other Robot Masters. As the Eldest, he wasn’t about to sit on his ass and let something like Spamton become an actual threat; that’s not a risk he’s willing to take at all. He’s suffering for it now, sure, but hey. His life, his business, not the others’ problem.

Mags’ work mode has come up before actually, too! Specifically, his really harsh talk with Anti. You see, when he’s not acting as a machine of war (which is usually since the ceasefire means quite a bit of downtime), he’s fulfilling the role of “big brother.” If anything threatens his family at all, his really severe personality comes out.

“But Willow! Anti isn’t a threat!”

You’d be correct!

...Sort of!

Magnet was teaching a lesson. That’s what his “work mode” is. Anti is soft and baby and has a lot of very... dangerous people around him that could prove a threat to the Wilybots in the future. He’s not just looking out for his family either; his “big brother” mode isn’t totally exclusive to the younger Wilybots. I mentioned it in this post, but not only was he buying insurance for the DWNs by attempting to discourage Anti from interacting with them, he was giving Anti a warning that the world is a dangerous place and that he shouldn’t be so gullible and trusting.

Basically, Mags’ “work mode” outside of his primary purpose is verbally (or physically) clapping you so you don’t get clapped in the future, because it will probably be worse!

Quick’s is hard to differentiate solely because he has the emotional capacity of a brick, but a guarantee of his “work mode” is him drawing his sword. Unlike Blues, who is a protector, or Mags, who teaches lessons, his “work mode” is primarily attack and punishment. He’s not verbal in the first place, even less so when working.

If he draws his weapon on you, it’s probably already a little too late to undo the damage you’ve done.

[harryfeatgaga]

regarding ot5 ppl, yeah they definitely hate on harry because he’s the most successful and it’s annoying because I really do believe all of the members of one direction had (and some still have it! Niall’s first album had 2 hits? Liam’s one song lol was pretty big too and Louis had back to you! Like!!! they were on the up from the start, but they plateaued fast. Even Harry’s first album wasn’t as big as we like to think it was you know what I mean? watermelon sugar really launched him into mega stardom!! And I think Zayn could be a mega star if he wanted to be but he seems to be fine with how he is so ! as long as he’s happy) the potential to be just as successful as Harry! but I don’t get the hardcore stans of especially Louis, Niall, Liam who claim that they’re not famous because of Harry and ~the press only care about Harry bc he has connections to all these industry people~. When it’s like no, they’re not as popular because their music is pretty generic! Harry is doing something we haven’t heard on the radio from a male pop star in a long time!! And that’s fresh music and! he’s a star!! with a very distinct look and (major key here) personality!!! it’s that simple! and like, I do say that harry is famous/popular because of one direction because I don’t think he’d be who he is now without one direction (music wise, talent wise, persona wise) like he grew so much as a person in the band, and you can tell he took what he got from the band (writing, networking, learning how to navigate fame, etc.,) to become who he is now. Like now, more people just know him as Harry Styles and not ~Harry from One Direction~, but that’s bc he put in the work and it’s just so amazing to me to see as a fan since 1D to now! I’m rambling but Harry is just so fascinating to me I want to study him in a lab tbh lol

LMAOOOOO YES EXACTLY like harry truly has IT he has the talent the personality and he works hard!!! like he is just the best and all his success is so well deserved 💖

[surrealsunday]

Oh my god ! What a emotional roller coaster this chapter. I kinda feel sorry for everyone involved in this: Lulu who is struggling between his feelings for Eliott and his need to move on (good for you dear Lulu, taking matters in your own hands.. sort of speak), Eliott who’s unable at the moment to express everything that we as readers - and other characters - can see, that he feels so much but can’t face his emotions because he’s too afraid of what it means and his lack of control due to his sickness, and frankly I feel bad for this poor Chris who just seems to appreciate Lulu for what he is (we all agree here, Lulu is the best) and somehow always finds himself in the middle of a weird relationship filled with so much unresolved feelings and things unsaid. Poor guy. ❤️‍🩹🥺

Congrats on this wonderful chapter and this great story. Those flash back scenes are amazing and add so much layers I love every word of it. Thanks so much for sharing this with us and I can’t wait to read to follow up of this chapter. I imagine it’s gonna be 🥰😍🥵🥺😍😶😨😱 (or something like that) (yes I suppose Eliott and Lucas will freak out because honeys I will you tremendously but agreeing to have sex with your best friend that you love in secret for years is NOT a good idea and can only lead to major a freak out 😱) (okay I’ll stop rambling now)

I love this comment - thank you! Definitely some ups and downs in this chapter for sure. Both Eliott and Lucas are for sure struggling in their own ways. Don't worry too much for Chris tho lmaooooo. He's fine. Though I did feel a bit guilty perpetually having him cockblocked when it came to getting with Lucas lol. I was mean, I will admit.

I'm so glad you enjoyed! I really liked how the flashbacks/ present day scenes worked in this chapter in particular. They just made a lot of sense to me. I truly hope you'll continue to enjoy and thank you so much for your comments!

[kl4us4]

 THE HARGREEVES GROUP CHAT

Summary: Do you ever wonder what it’d be like if your favs had a group chat?Same lmao. It’s all you ever think about, you say? Well then, this is the post for you!

ua masterlist

KLAUS: is anyone home??

ALLISON: Just left

VANYA: No, I’m not home at the moment. Why? 

LUTHER: I am

KLAUS: ok ... is anyone home who can DRIVE me?

DIEGO: no

KLAUS: are you home

KLAUS: diego

KLAUS: Diego are u home

DIEGO: yes.

KLAUS: wyd

DIEGO: trying to relax in silence

FIVE: Incorrect. He’s playing with his knives.

DIEGO: Who says that’s not relaxing?

ALLISON: Majority of society, actually

KLAUS: going anywhere soon?

DIEGO: no

KLAUS: u sure?

DIEGO: yes

FIVE: Incorrect again. I just heard his police radio go off.

KLAUS: 😈

VANYA: 😮

LUTHER: Yeah, could you turn that down by the way, Diego?

KLAUS: thank u

LUTHER: For what? I only read the part about Diego’s walkie talkie.

KLAUS: I was talking to 5

FIVE: Typical. He thinks everything’s about him.

DIEGO: It’s not a walkie talkie

DIEGO: It’s a radio

LUTHER: It’s annoying

KLAUS: it’s: 😈

DIEGO removed LUTHER from UMBRELLA GANG.

ALLISON: How many times a day are you going to do that?

DIEGO: As long as it takes for no one to add him back in again.

VANYA has added LUTHER to UMBRELLA GANG.

VANYA: Sorry Diego, I felt bad for him.

KLAUS: aw sis

LUTHER: @DIEGO You’re immature

DIEGO: @LUTHER You’re ugly

KLAUS: @DIEGO you’re driving me to shamrocks bar tonight !!!🤪🤪🤪

DIEGO: @KLAUS You’re delusional if you think that’s going to happen

KLAUS has changed his nickname to ‘DELUSIONAL’.

DELUSIONAL: I’m whatever you want me to be as long as I get to ride shotgun boiiii

DIEGO changed DELUSIONAL‘s nickname to KLAUS.

DIEGO: This isn’t one of your friends group chats, it’s meant for serious situations

KLAUS: okkkkkk & I’m seriously sober ???

VANYA: That’s good, Klaus! :)

LUTHER: I’m glad

ALLISON: YES

FIVE: Cannot relate.

ALLISON: ???

ALLISON: It’s only 6pm.

FIVE: I think I know Time better than all of you combined. But thank you for your input, Ally.

KLAUS: ooft

KLAUS: savage little thing isn’t he

FIVE: Are you coming out tonight or what?

KLAUS: didn’t think I had to come out to you guys but alright here goes

VANYA: Good one LOL

KLAUS: ty

ALLISON: Good one!

KLAUS: I can hear the sarcasm in that message, Allison, and I do not appreciate it.

FIVE: So? Yes? No? Can’t wait forever, can I?

DIEGO: Well... Technically...

KLAUS: hehe

FIVE: Alright, stay home.

KLAUS: ben says I should stay home

LUTHER: What?

DIEGO: Listen to Ben then

VANYA: I think you should stay home too, Klaus.

ALLISON: Me too

DIEGO: Me three

ALLISON: I’m 3 :(

DIEGO: Me 2***

ALLISON: that’s better :)

KLAUS: y’all gotta invest in some emojis

LUTHER: How do I download those?

KLAUS: they’re on the iPhone keyboard

LUTHER: I have an android

KLAUS: ...

DIEGO has removed LUTHER from UMBRELLA GANG.

FIVE: I’m 58 years old and I know that Androids are “trash”.

KLAUS: LMAOOOOO 5’s laying down the law 2night

KLAUS: begone thot!1!1!1

DIEGO: begone thot

FIVE: “LOL”

VANYA: Oh my god

KLAUS: omg Diego

KLAUS: does this mean you’ll drive me

DIEGO: nah begone thot

DIEGO has removed KLAUS from UMBRELLA GANG.

DIEGO: They can be added back once they learn their lesson.

ALLISON: Which is?

DIEGO: idk

DIEGO: to not be annoying

ALLISON: 🙄

ALLISON added KLAUS and LUTHER to UMBRELLA GANG.

ALLISON: I’m busy right now. Stop blowing up my phone with this nonsense.

KLAUS: mute the chat, I’m about to go off

DIEGO: “Go off”

DIEGO: Who are you?

KLAUS: :(( a driverless being

LUTHER: This chat is being forever muted.

FIVE: I mean, no one talks to you in this chat anyways, Luther.

KLAUS: ooft

LUTHER: I don’t see anyone rushing to chat to you either, Number Five.

FIVE: 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

LUTHER: ???

LUTHER: What does that say?

LUTHER: It only comes up as boxes for me

KLAUS: 👻👻👻👻👻

DIEGO: 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

VANYA: I wonder if there’s a 🎻

VANYA: Oh yay!!! 🎻🎻🎻🎻🎻

LUTHER: >:(

KLAUS: lmao

FIVE: Hey guys

FIVE: 🐵

KLAUS: LMAO

VANYA: Is this bullying?

LUTHER: Yes

DIEGO: Nah

KLAUS: probs🙊

VANYA: They’re just emoticons, Luther.

LUTHER: Which emoticons?

FIVE: Boxes

LUTHER: Ohh, I thought it was just my phone messing up!

DIEGO: nah you good

KLAUS: 💀

taglist: blathena exquisitex113 scorpionxloveimaginexmeintheuniversemultifandom-ramblings mega-trash-cringe the-one-and-only-celine thehanwen

[zandyin]

Don’t mind me - I’m reposting some old posts from another blog here cause it’s... relevant. :y This post is from 2016 l m a o

------------------

I got up too early today and have a lot of time to kill, so here’s a rambling of my Devil Summoner: Raidou Kuzunoha ship headcanon/mechanics. Yeah. Talking about Louis->Raidou, Raidou/Dahn, and why I’ll probably never draw the obvious slash ship most people have.

This is seriously not going to be interesting if you haven’t played DSRK2 and/or don’t ship any of those.

LOUIS –> RAIDOU

Anyone who follows my art blog probably knows I draw quite a bit of Louis -> Raidou, lmao. It’s been a while since I played DSRK2 (and I have a very shoddy memory in general), but I’ve always seen Louis’ interest in Raidou as very… curiously amused? It’s not a romantic attraction in any sense of the word, and (in my headcanons) Raidou does not reciprocate the feeling at all, haha.

I just like to think grand ol’ Louis Cyphre just wants to have some fun by flirting with a cute boy who may or may not actually be a challenge to take on in a fight. Maybe Louis kinda likes the idea that someone like Raidou can subdue him, if only for a little while. Plus DSRK2 doesn’t hold back on mentioning how beautiful Raidou is – and he is! – so I think even Louis would fall a little for the sideburn detective. :v He sees a lot of potential in Raidou. Iirc, he was interested in seeing Raidou again after the events of the second game for… whatever reason.

Louis doesn’t flirt with the intention to get the goods from Raidou, but at the same time, he probably wouldn’t mind if it went that way. :’^) It’s very one-sided, though. Which is why I’m always writing it as Louis -> Raidou. You could say I like the aesthetic of a one-sided flirting prince of hell towards a beautiful yet unobtainable detective swordsman.

In most of my headcanons, law Raidou just finds it annoying, while chaos Raidou doesn’t reciprocate either but does use it to his advantage. And Louis knows! But Louis always feels like he is in control or he IS in control, so he lets it happen. Anything that happens, Louis has allowed it or knew it would be an outcome. He’s fine with pretty much anything as long as he can watch Raidou do his thing.

Still, I draw too much Louis->Raidou when the main pairing I really love is…

RAIDOU/DAHN

Yes, in that order! This one I’m a bit more serious about. I doubt my words can accurately convey that feeling, but I will try my best!!

Alright, so… where to begin. I was one of those hopeless fools who was easily lead on by a fujoshi seamstress in Mannen-Cho to consider these two as a ship. I used to have the screenshots somewhere, ah!!! I googled it and she asks Raidou if Dahn is ��an old lover” and if he came to Mannen-Cho to be with him. Ah… I’m so impressionable.

Anyways, pushing canon aside, I started to really dig the contrast between Raidou and Dahn. Raidou being a very proper looking city boy and Dahn being an unruly looking country boy. Before I burn holes into my own head from rolling my eyes, let’s keep going!

If you play as law Raidou, up to this point he does what he’s told. Usually I think his best interest aligns with those of the Capital. I like to think that… over the course of DSRK2, lmao, Raidou gets to know Dahn. From guy he’s supposed to track down to guy he starts helping to undo the major mistake he made (don’t trust any blond young men!), I think Raidou would start to see the other side of life – going after what you personally want, circumstance and expectations be damned. Dahn has a wild aura about him. I want Raidou to be intrigued by it. I want Dahn to start seeing the other side, too. His rashness led to quite the string of incidents that he clearly did not want to happen, haha. Raidou inspired by Dahn to be a bit more selfish, while Dahn inspired by Raidou to be a bit more selfless…! I know Dahn was doing what he wanted for Akane, but Akane was sort of okay with doing it “for the greater good”, so I do feel Dahn was acting selfishly. That’s what a big brother’s gonna do, tho.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR END OF DSRK2, which you’ve probably played and finished if you’re even reading this!

“You made me realize you can shape your own future if you take action for what you believe in… Even a stubborn jackass like me was able to change… I’m sure the ones who see you in action will [also change]” – Dahn, right before the Shinado Dahn fight.

Haha, I forgot how much Dahn changes so much towards the end of the game. He hasn’t completely changed, but he starts seeing things the way Raidou does… tragic that he doesn’t get to continue living and show that change. Law Raidou strikes him down, as that’s his duty and promise. From Raidou’s side, I like to imagine he started to think about doing things for himself. Not… unleash a swarm of bugs kinda things for his own means and ends, but just being a bit more-!! Selfish!

Okay, through all of that, you’re probably wondering, “The hell? Where is the ‘ship’ aspect to this?” It’s pretty basic. I love Raidou and Dahn’s dynamic sans shipping as well, however I think Raidou’s new found “selfishness” would manifest itself in – wait for it – slowly being attracted to Dahn.

Big surprise there.

Going even further away from canon, Raidou being intrigued by Dahn!! And the way he does things. Maybe he finds Dahn’s accent cute, as Raidou is no stranger to interesting accents. His demons have all sorts of accents, I’m sure. I wanted Dahn to be that one thing, that one person he could be sort of selfish about – and in Chaos end headcanoning, that’s the Raidou who gives into that selfishness. Law Raidou… well, he still feels that attraction, but he doesn’t let it stop him from doing what he has to do.

Then just completely forget canon after this point, but I’ve thought of too many cute headcanons that make me ship this ship beyond help lmaooooo like you can stop reading here

Dahn’s aware Raidou’s a looker at first, but it doesn’t really start to get to him till they start working together post-Chaos end. Suddenly he finds himself looking at Raidou more often, feeling ‘weird’, and in general wanting to be closer to Raidou as they become friends. I like to imagine this kind of Dahn would even slip heavily into his implied Tohoku-ben(?) accent when Raidou’s really close to him. :’^))))

Raidou always lowkey being into Dahn’s wild look. Doing things on purpose to make Dahn’s accent really apparent like ‘accidentally’ brushing up against him… in whatever situation. Raidou happily staring at Dahn all while being quiet. It makes Dahn uncomfortable to be looked at with such a kind/hungry look, but he likes it. :v  Raidou enjoying his new found selfishness with Dahn while still doing his job to protect the people of the Capital….Wow, I’m going to stop.

And honestly, as with most ships, I have a friend who loves Dahn as much as I love Raidou. We’re always bound to pair our favs together. I shipped Raidou/Dahn before we met, but having someone else to share with definitely strengthens the feelings towards it, haha. [Note from present me: Aw, sad, I’m not friends with that person anymore. :d It was a messy split and I got custody over Raidou/Dahn in the end LMAO I’m kidding]

SO THAT’S WHY I DRAW LOUIS -> RAIDOU WITH THAT SORT OF “FLAVOR”, yet I never draw Raidou/Dahn. Maybe because I’m too lazy to draw Dahn’s outfit. That’s definitely it.

NARUMI/RAIDOU

I just don’t feel it. That’s basically it. I see all the fodder for it, but somehow… I was not taken in. Life would be easier if I shipped only this because I can find a toooooon of art and doujinshi for them.

Try looking for Raidou/Dahn doujinshi where Raidou’s the top! GOOD LUCK!! I own two of them and am still hunting down one I saw the cover of last year. If you… find any…………….. lmk. [Note: I FINALLY FOUND THAT DJ AT THE END OF 2017, I HAD BEEN LOOKING SINCE 2015 Y’ALL!!!]

Since this is my personal blog, feel free to ask me questions and I’ll reply publicly (or privately if that’s what you want) if you wanna talk shop. Send me headcanons for Louis -> Raidou or Raidou/Dahn.

[asagrays-blog]

hey-o ! i’m eura ( 18, she/her ) and i reside within the pst timezone !! this is my first rp ( asdfjgkldrsjg ) && i’m so excited to rp with all of y’all ♡ i don’t really know what to say about me...i like cacti, spend way too much money on food, and stalk nasa’s social media. anyways, i’m gonna stop rambling about me and start talking about asa ! but if you ever want to plot, chat, or rant about conspiracy theories, hmu ♡♡

i don’t want you guys to have to try and decode the actual mess that is my application, so i’m just gonna give you the lowdown on my bby.

his name full-ass name is asa gray aurelio flores, but most people just call him asa bc it’s easier’

he’s a pisces & enjoys painting his nails various pastel colors

he’s from a p conservative family and he always did what he was told until the beginning of his sophomore year at penn u. 

his parents wanting him to pursue engineering, so he did for a year, until he decided that he was miserable doing it and decided to switch majors

his parents flipped and basically cut him off

so i decided to spice it up and give him a lil secret that nobody really knows bc....why not, u know ???

so his secret is that he’s a dancer/server at a p high-class gay gentleman’s club, called winchester’s, and he’s been doing that as a way to pay for his college tuition since his parents aren’t helping him out anymore. 

for any of yall that don’t know what a “gentleman’s club” is, it’s basically just a high class strip club for the guys that have those big $$$$

his stage name is orion, after the constellation bc why not

the strip joint club is a couple towns over bc he was scared of accidentally running into someone that he knows there ( *wink* connection idea *wink* ) 

he’s hoping to be able to “find himself” ( whatever that means ) at pennbrooke bc he’s never really been able to be himself when he was in san diego due to his parents. 

his current life plan is to graduate with a degree in fine arts and then travel the world as a volunteer art teacher bc it involved a few of the things he loves: helping people, art, and travel

personality-wise: he’s a v v v sweet boy. like, he’d do absolutely anything to make someone else smile, even if it means sacrificing something of his own. 

he’s also v optimistic, even if he doesn’t believe it himself, he’ll try his best to put on a brave face.

he’s also very awkward lmaooooo but he’s trying his best

his sims traits would be: absent-minded, socially awkward, good, artistic, and over-emotional

okayyy so for wanted connections, i may make a page later, but i’ll put some down rn 

someone who knows his secret - idk, maybe somehow, they find out that asa works at a gentleman’s club ( maybe they show up one night or see him exiting it or know someone who recognizes him idk ) and how they react can be decided. maybe they begin to blackmail asa??? maybe they try to talk to him about it and get to the bottom of it but asa completely avoids them ??? i really don’t know so let’s figure it out !

best friend(s) / squad - idk, this is p basic i guess.

muse - asa needs a lot more practice painting people ( he mainly paints landscapes ) so asa always calls this person up to model for him as he paints them. 

someone who manipulates him - he’s such a nice person and he’s so easy to take advantage of. he probably notices it, but is too nice to stop it

bad influence - p self explanatory ?? 

good influence - someone who asa really tries to make better. like, he really wants to be a good influence on this person but maybe they won’t let him. 

awkward bind date - maybe they were set up by a mutual friend on a blind date and it was not great lmaoooo, so now asa is awkward around said person & avoids them like the plague. maybe said person thought the date was great or also thought it was terrible, idk let’s plot it out.

crush ( pt.1 ) - asa has a crush on said person. asa’s all giddy and exxxxxtra awkward around them, but he can’t help it bc he just thinks they’re so cute. idk how the other person feels, maybe they know he likes them and just likes the attention, or maybe they don’t know and are worried that asa actually dislikes them since he’s extra awkward around them and lowkey avoids them

crush ( pt.2 ) - this person has a crush on asa. either he’s too dumb to see it or he just pretends not to notice to spare said person’s feelings.

ex - it can be on good or bad terms, i’m good with either. but asa hasn’t been in too many relationships, he’s always been too busy in school to maintain one & his parents were super against dating so he never really did it. we can figure out the other details while plotting i guess.

tbh when it comes to connections i’m down for anything, so if none of these float your boat, we can come up with something else ! i’m a huge ho for drama and plotting so we should totally do it!! like this if you want me to slide into your im’s or you can slide right into mine! i luh ya’ll !!

[survivor-rebelsvsroyals]

EPISODE 14: I really wish there’s a montage or collage of all the dumb sh*t I’ve said in this game - Dane

I’m just Abi-Maria this game huh except I made it to the final episode

*24 hours later*

well. the jig might be up gals i just. really have the feeling it’s me tonight. like it just feels definitively over. i’ve started to be less paranoid about dan stabbing me in the back and more about ruthie having an idol. we have to vote her bc it means a better shot at all of us in ftc but like i’d feel SAFER voting lachie since he definitely doesn’t have an idol. me getting idoled out would be hilarious in a karmic way but like also. i would cry a lot. so let’s hope i’m just being paranoid. i’m so close and i wanna win so fucking badly that i’m legit gonna be heartbroken if it’s me tonight (:

Okay so I have had TONS of things to do today, I had to ring the Salvation Army bell, decorate a golf cart for Christmas while my mom gave an interview about a blink and you miss it parade my town has every year AND my school kids go swimming every other week and today I agreed to get in with them and BOY am I exhausted and ready to call it a night. I just want to search for the idol, find it and get my ass to sleep. Okay so Dan is talking to me now and he, Lachie and I are going to vote together but for who... I'm not so sure!

i hate writing rops. i just feel like i come off so fake even when im not trying to be. i'll start writing things and then i'll be like "god this bitch," and erase the whole thing.  the personality disorder really jumped out

So I just realized that after I idol’d out Linus and we voted out Ryan in the live night, John AKA Joe started a Snapchat streak with me and after I voted him out he ended it 💀💀💀💀

Sooooo lmao since the cast was announced I knew I was never going to win this game but I have had a blast playing it. These games are truly meant to be played for fun and this was fun BECAUSE I knew I wasn’t going to win. I instead made a challenge for myself and said “find people you trust and get all of them to the end,” and Me, Dan, and Asya are almost at final 3 and I couldn’t be happier! It was almost like a challenge lmaooo like getting to the end by yourself? That’s reasonably easy, you just have to line yourself up for ONE person to get to the end. But getting you and your 2 closest allies to the final 3? That shit is STRESSFUL like any of us could’ve gotten voted out at any moment and we nearly did! Thanks for the fun game uwu xo 

I can’t fucking believe I made the final 4. I really felt like I positioned myself really well in this game and now my hard work might ACTUALLY pay off. Being so loyal in this game has scared me honestly. I don’t know who I am anymore. I do fear my game isn’t as flashy as Asya and Dane, but literally when have I been on the radar? If you want to call it using meat shields, I guess you can, but that doesn’t make me a floater. I was actively keeping targets in front of me by using others to protect me. Amanda died for me, Ruthie died for me. Like I literally was at risk and then they let their side know I wasn’t a threat. It’s literally genius. Idk maybe I’m being too big headed, but I truly feel like I played a stellar game. Getting to FTC would mean the absolute world to me and I really pray for a f3 and not a f2. I just really need to look back and be prepared for questioning. Asya is very articulate and her Rites of Passage really spoke to how well she played. I personally just don’t like using them to talk about my game, it’s more of an honoring thing for those who played. We have enough time at FTC to ramble about how we played the game. I’m not looking forward to endurance tonight. I have won endurance before, but I’m so worried if Lachie wins. I’m hoping and praying Asya will be willing to vote Dane out, but objectively she’d be better off killing me and going to the end with Lachie and Dane. I’m worried. I NEEEEEEED to win.

i’m so fucking nervous for this endurance :’) i’m already bad at pressure cookers but my gout flaring up this past two days sure doesn’t help ! i really would love to win bc a bitch can only trust HERSELF but i might have to cop out as soon as lachie does when the pain gets too intense. i just have to pray dane and dan don’t leave me to duke it out with him. probability of me crying on camera? high oh yeah also i survived the f5 vote lol

*After endurance*

FTC BABY !!!! i actually made f3 with my f3 alliance... wildt. my whole body hurts and i won’t be standing again for the foreseeable future but it was Worth It. will make another confessional tmrw when i’m not sleepy.

I really wish there’s a montage or collage of all the dumb shit I’ve said in this game

writing talking points for my opening speech and everything feels wrong like i just. i know what i want to say but when i say it out loud i feel like an asshole. i think it's because i'm used to going into these things sure that i'm playing for 2nd or 3rd place, but as of right now, i really believe this is my game to win. and saying that makes me feel like The Worst bc its not like dan or dane played badly, i actually think dane really underestimates himself. i just feel like i've worked so fucking hard to get here, scrambling to make things happen on every single vote, building numbers from nothing, busting my ass in every challenge, even the ones i knew i couldn't win. this is one of, if not THE best game i've ever played and i just !! want validation for that i guess. but i don't know how to say that in a way that sounds self assured and confident but not like.. douchey. on the other hand, i've played the loyal game all along. i helped get dan and dane and myself to this point, but now it's every man for themselves so like. lets go ig

Honestly I hated Asyas opening statement. It was a lot of stuff I did with her??? I think I’m really gonna roast her at FTC now. Like the girl acts like she did all the work voting out glo but I used my relationship with Dane and Linus to get them to trust me. She sounded so cocky and confident about her position but I truly believe she wouldn’t be here without her idols and myself. I’m just worried the jury is going to see her as the mastermind when I literally was there with her for every move, Dane too.... I need to really think because who knew people would become real snakes in the grass at f3...

So final tribal tribal council is tonight and I’m so anxious lmaooooo. If it were people that like aren’t rude then I wouldn’t be, but a lot of our cast members tend to be very petty so I have a gut feeling they’re going to make personal remarks. I’m happy to answer any gameplay questions though! I think i have played a pretty well game considering I started out on the outside of a large majority alliance. I snuck my way into people’s trust where they may not usually trust me and it helped me get further. I stayed lowkey with making small moves which would benefit my future like voting out Pippa and Glo and making big moves like voting out RTP and idol’ing out Linus. I used the fact that the cast hates me to keep around as an easy beat and overall I’m really proud of my game no matter what anyone says tonight or the result of the votes. Thank you hosts for casting me it was fun xo

WHEW ftc is over and I feel okay? Asya probably won, but honestly her performance was very impressive. She really sold her game and I need to give credit where credit is due. 

 However, I really think I sold my game. There’s not much else I can say. The production value was lower, but it was just as effective. I feel like I’m on cloud mine right now just because I can say I DIDNT FUCKING FLOP A TS SEASON.

 I made two incredible friends that I plan on talking to long after this and I’m just blessed for this opportunity. Whatever happens, I need to be happy with the result and know in my heart of hearts that I played the very best game I could. Also, Isaac smells.