#i mean like claiming dean always hates monsters and sam always supports them

[soft-pine]

so much supernatural discourse boils down to claiming a thing we actually see dean do on the show is something he would not do, claiming a thing we see dean specifically not do on the show is something he would do, claiming something all the main characters do is something dean alone is doing, or claiming something sam does on the show is something dean did.

and im so confused. because the answer is comically simple and it's a thing we all allegedly love doing and that is... watching supernatural?

[jawritter]

Born Under The Wrong Sign

Part 2

Summary: Dean Winchester, hunter, killer of Gods, demons, and monster, was born as an Omega. It never felt right, and he wants a change of biology. After all, just cause it’s what we’re assigned, it shouldn’t identify who we are…

Pairing: Omega!Dean Winchester x Alpha!Reader

Written For: @spnkinkbingo​​

Square field: Total Power Exchange

Word Count: 2511

Beta’d By: @miss-nerd95​​! Thanks again hun!

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics​​

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Identity Crisis? ABO Dynamics, smut, unprotected smut, mention of past abusive parents. John’s A+ parenting,  knotting, dirty talk, language, talk of sex change and presentation changes. Some self hate. Claiming, knotting, mating, hint of a possible breeding kink. I think that’s about it.

A/N: This is the first fic I’ve ever written like this one, even for ABO, and even though I’m sure they’re out there I’ve never read one quite like it. So, that being said, I’m pretty nervous about throwing this one out there for you guys! So I really do hope you enjoy it! Feedback is golden! Please do not copy my work! This is part 1, part 2 will drop later this week!!

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A lot had taken place since Dean’s heat ended three days ago. 

Step one of your plan to find a way to switch your biological presentations started with you contacting Sam at the men of letter’s bunker, and setting him to work researching to see if there was any lore that could help you both in your pursuit. 

Dean was worried that Sam wouldn’t be supportive or understanding of his current predicament, but Sam was more than willing to help his brother in whatever he chose to be. John still had Dean repressed a little to this day, it was a deep rooted fear of Dean’s that his family would be ashamed of him or reject him for feeling what he felt. Still, Sam set to work right away. 

Now it was just getting back to the younger Winchester at the Bunker and seeing what he found. You had taken a few days to make sure Dean recovered from his heat before traveling with him. This one had been bad, and he was still pretty tired, but he was also anxious to get back to his brother and see what he’d dug up. 

Dean was in his post heat, clingy phase as well, which added to traveling difficulty. Instinct was telling him to nest down and cuddle with you, and that was hard to do and drive, so it put you behind the wheel of Baby while he lay curled the best he could across the seat with his head in your lap. 

You subconsciously stroked his hair with your free hand as the miles rolled underneath you both and carried you closer to home. You would occasionally glance down at Dean, and you did note that he looked uncomfortable in this position, but what other choice did you have? You had to get to the Bunker as soon as possible if you were going to find an answer to this problem at all. 

Dean had fought against his biology for so long, that when the Omega side of him was more prevalent around his heats it looked odd to you. You were so used to Dean carrying himself as an Alpha would, that it almost looked as unnatural to you as it felt to him, and you could clearly see that he was not meant to be an Omega. This was clearly a mistake of biology. 

The same stood for you. 

You didn’t really carry yourself like an Alpha, even in private when it wasn’t needed that you held to the act to protect your Omega from being killed by other hunters who called Male Omega’s 'Genetic Freaks'. 

You loved to be close to Dean, almost as much as he liked to be close to you, and you were surprisingly submissive to him on the every day occasion. You even often let him have the upper hand in the bedroom, something he really enjoyed, and man you loved it when he took control. It felt more natural to you, it felt right, and you would be a liar if you said you hadn’t fantasized about Dean calling you his Omega just as much as he did. 

Your small frame even contradicted your Alpha status. It made protecting your Omega harder, because if someone was attracted by his unmistakable Omega scent when you weren't around to claim it as yours, especially another male, they could probably overpower you. That scared you a lot, especially in bars where the threat could turn real, real fast. 

You were relieved when you pulled up to the bunker, and didn’t have to stop the whole way. Dean being on the heels of his heat made his scent more prominent, even under suppressants, and you didn’t want to fight with another Alpha at a gas station. 

As the two of you made your way down the iron staircase of the Bunker, you could hear voices echoing through the walls of the place, one of which you recognized right away. Rowena MacLeod. That meant Sam must have found something.  Or, you thought sorrowfully, he found nothing, and he called for backup. 

You exchanged a look with your mate before entering the library where Sam, Rowena, and Cas were all gathered probably waiting for you.

You dropped your duffle bag to the floor with a thud as Dean looked to his little brother with a look of almost desperation. 

“Sammy, please tell me all these people here means you found something,” Dean pleaded, and Rowena guided the slightly trembling Omega to a seat in front of a bowl full of ingredients for a spell, and you took the one next to Dean; taking his hand in yours to give him a sense of security as much as you could. 

“Well, we think we have found something that can be tried,” Sam said, moving to the spell book that was open at the end of the table as Rowena grabbed your laced hands, and placed a twine of what looked to be rope laced with lavender around both of your wrists. 

“Apparently, you two aren’t the first to feel like you were born with the wrong presentations,” Rowena explained, adding a few more ingredients to the bowl before plucking a piece of hair from each of your heads. 

“So this spell is going to virtually swap our presentations?” you questioned, looking between the three other people in the room. 

“That’s the idea,” Cas answered, folding his arms over his chest. "I’m here just in case anything goes south and you guys need a quick healing.”

“The spell is painless,” Rowena interjected, seeing Dean’s worried expression as his gaze shifted between you and Cas. “But the spell will change you on a molecular level, so Castiel’s presence is just a precaution, really.” 

“You ready for this,” Sam asked his brother, who then looked at you with worry swimming in the green depths of his eyes. 

“You sure you want to do this with me. That you won't regret it?” Dean asked, and you tightened your grip on his hand in assurance. 

“I told you, Dean, I want to do this as much as you do,” you assured him and he leaned his forehead against yours. 

“Okay, do it,” Dean said to the room, and as if on cue Rowena began chanting over the bowl, her eyes glowing a bright purple before she struck a flame to the contents and a warm feeling rushed through your body as the twine around your wrist disintegrated in a flash of light. 

For just a moment, it seemed as if the world stood still as the whole room watched the two of you, and for a moment you were afraid nothing had changed. That was until you caught Dean’s scent. It was stronger, more potent than you had ever smelled it. Warm sandalwood and whiskey with just a hint of mint, and your mouth literally watered at the scent. 

You opened your eyes just in time to see the yellow glow of the Alpha now residing in your mate’s eyes fade as his gaze locked with your own, and a deep rumble growl erupted from his chest as he pulled you into his lap like he was scenting you for the first time. 

“Fuck, you smell amazing, Omega,” he said, rooting around your mating gland with his nose before lapping at where your claiming mark would very soon reside. Slick was already gathering in your panties just from him touching you, and everything was so intense it was almost breathtaking. This is what you had always been missing. It felt right, and for the first time in his arms, you felt like you were finally home as you purred against him.

Sam clearing his throat loudly reminded you both that you had an audience, and Dean reluctantly pulled away from you to glare at his little brother with annoyance. 

“Well, I take it the spell worked,” Rowena chuckled before grabbing Sam by the arm. “Come on you two, let’s leave them to it. They need to get reacquainted with each other.” 

They made a quick exit, and you and Dean watched as they retreated up the stairs and completely out of the bunker, leaving you alone with your Alpha. 

“Well, looks like we have to get 'reacquainted',” you told Dean, looking up at him and finding his lust-filled gaze staring down darkly at you. 

You noticed he was sitting a lot straighter and looked all together more stronger. It suited him. You also noticed that your old claiming mark was gone as you ran your fingers over the empty space over where it used to lay over his now smooth skin, and a shiver ripped through his body. 

“Don’t have to tell me twice, baby girl,” he rumbled, lifting you with ease and carrying you towards your shared room. 

It was as if your body was already in tune with your new Alpha, and every step Dean took towards his room, the wetter you became.  The light cramps of your first heat were already licking at your abdomen, making you whimper and nuzzle closer to him and his scent. 

Once you were in his room and the door kicked closed behind the both of you, Dean made quick work of the clothes that were covering both of your bodies and was now hovering over you, exploring your body as if he was seeing it for the first time again. His lips making trails, memorizing what makes you tick all over once more, taking your breast into his warm mouth, sucking and lapping at your body until you were all but begging him for his knot. 

“Hang on Omega, I got to warm you up first,” he murmured against your lips and you shivered as his fingers descended on your slick folds, running through them before breaching your entrance with ease. He pumped and curled them, adding a second finger, then a third; pressing his thumb against your throbbing clit as your body fell apart around his fingers and he scissored you open, preparing you for his knot as he kissed you drunk, swallowing your moans as pure pleasure washed over your body. 

You whined at the loss of his fingers when he finally removed them from your body, and he chucked against your lips, pecking them softly, and nibbling along your lower lip.

“Please, Alpha,” you beg him. “I need you to knot me, stop teasing.” 

Dean grunts lowly in his throat, licking at your mating gland and rutting his already leaking cock through your folds, making your body arch off the bed to meet him in a silent plea to be fully filled by him.

“God you have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of you calling me Alpha, sweetheart,” he admitted kissing you deeply. “Gonna take such good care of you Omega.”

You shivered at the mention of your new presentation while nipping at the skin of his throat. 

“Turn over and present for your Alpha, pretty girl, let me see what’s mine,” he commanded, and before the words were all the way out of his mouth you were on all fours, presenting for him. The deep approving growl that fell out of his mouth had slick literally siding down your thighs. 

“So fucking beautilful, baby girl,” he praised as he slowly pressed the tip of his cock into your waiting heat. “This pussy mine baby girl, all this slick because of me?”

“It’s all yours, Alpha, all for you,” you told him with a keen as he snapped his hips forward and seated himself fully inside your heat with a deep groan. 

All thought process, all words, everything flew right out the window as humanity faded away and pure animalistic instinct took over as Dean pounded relentlessly into you, driving you higher and higher until you could feel his cock swelling further and his knot starting to catch with every thrust. His fingers slipped from your hips to your clit and he began to rub furiously in time with his pace until you were screaming his name and coming around his knot as it locked the two of you place as he lifted you body against his, his teeth latching deep in your throat, calling you as his as he spilled into you, filling you with his cum. 

When you finally came down from your high, Dean was licking at your new claiming mark, healing it only the way an Alpha could, and he was lowering you both so that now you were on your sides. 

“You okay, Omega?” He asked, purring as he nuzzled into your hair, reveling in your scent that was mixed with his own. 

“Perfect, Alpha,” you said, slipping down deeper into his hold.

For a long time no words were said, no words were needed. The unexplainable peace that was between you was enough. For the first time, everything was as it should have been all along.

Dean always knew, he just knew he was never meant to be born as an Omega. It was something deep down inside of him that just was always there from the moment he presented, and the same was for you. For the first time. Everything felt right. 

“You know, maybe we can try to have pups now,” you said after a while and Dean’s body had already been detached from your own. 

“What?” Dean asked, sitting up on his elbow and tucking the strand of your hair away from your face that had fallen. 

“Maybe we can have pups now. I mean, It’s not as dangerous for me to carry them, and now that I’m an Omega we don't hide my heats away. I could stay here at the Bunker and raise the pup and help with research...I don’t know. It’s just something I want with you now.”

Dean thought for a moment before bringing his lips to yours in a slow kiss, one that made your toes curl. 

“You know what sweetheart, I think I like that idea. A lot.” Dean admitted. 

This was the first day of the rest of your new lives together, and now there was a chance to have a family, and Dean knew then. He was really and truly finally at home in his own skin for the first time. 

“I love you, ya know,” he told you, slipping your leg over his hips and sliding his already hardening length into your still slick center. “My pretty Omega.”

“I love you too, Alpha,” you  purred as he slowly started to rock his hips into you, dragging his cock through your heat and sending waves of deep pleasure through your body. “Now fuck a pup into me baby. You know how impatient I am,” you teased him. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he laughed. There was a promise laced in that chuckle that sent a shiver down your spine. It was the first of many promises he intended to make good on, and you couldn’t wait to start a family with him. Your Dean, your Alpha.

Forever Tags: 

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@miraclesoflove​ 

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@peaches007​

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ABO Forever: 

@lyarr24​

@anaelsbrunette​

Dean’s ABO

@akshi8278​

@love-jackles-37-blog​

[demonologist-in-denim]

What if in earlier seasons, Crowley was written as an amiable ally for the boys, rather than them disliking him. Imagine Crowley being established as “not as bad as other demons” in the Winchester’s eyes, as a semi-reluctant ally who – yeah, on occasion, puts his own interests first, but never directly threatens and even occasionally helps the boys. He’s still snarky, and he can still be an arse. But the boys know that as long as they don’t cross him, Crowley won’t mess with them. From Crowley’s end, that’s because keeping good relations with the infamous Winchester brothers is to his benefit. But then, they start to grow on him. And maybe he’s a little more lenient with the flannelled nightmares than he should be, a little indulgent, rolls his eyes and does a few favors for them. Which only further encourages the Winchesters, and later a less willing Castiel, to view him as a frenemy.

The rest of the early seasons is the same, except now, moving into season 6, the boys are willingly working with Crowley and Cas. They don’t like the idea of opening up Purgatory, but they understand that Hell and Heaven really do need to be taken in hand – and who else are they going to trust to do that? As things start to look really dark throughout that season, the boys start pushing back, start testing their relationship with both angel and demon, and Cas still betrays all of them and takes the souls for himself. And now there’s season 7, with Crowley working with the boys to stop Cas – Dean wanting to save him from himself, Sam and Crowley unhappily planning to kill the angel – Sam because he doesn’t think Cas can be saved, and Crowley because he wants his share of the Purgatory power. Unleash the Leviathans, and now we’ve got the King of Hell working closely and willingly with the boys to stop this new threat. Demons at their disposal, even. Which doesn’t put Crowley in a very good position in Hell, but he pushes on because it’s this or let the Leviathans eat the world. The Winchesters plus Crowley and a now restored Castiel manage to defeat the Leviathans, just as the demons rise up and dethrone Crowley. Hell is a free-for-all, and demons are loose in the world.

Then have all of season 8 be about demon in-fighting and the human casualties along the way. The boys work to get Crowley back on the throne, so he can restore some order. But that also means he’s temporarily dependent on them, in hiding with them from his former minions. Leads them to the Men of Letters legacy, which in turn leads to the bunker. Bring the British Men of Letters back in seasons earlier, alerted to the awakening of one of their old establishments in the States. Throw Abaddon into the mix, providing a competitor for Crowley laying claim to the throne, which would make him more susceptible to the help offered by the Winchesters, and unfortunately to the supposed support of the BMoL as well. By now, Crowley’s an unofficial member of Team Free Will, the boys well aware he chose saving the world (and them) over giving his full attention to Hell, leading to all this. There’s the sense that the four of them – plus Kevin and Charlie, at this point – are all in it together. Maybe even Meg is still around, maybe she’s trying to lead one of the demonic factions, and there is this whole I-care-about-you-but-we’re-on-opposite-sides between her and Cas. Crowley has softened, the same way Cas softened over time with exposure to humanity and the Winchesters.

Of course the tablets and Kevin came into play with the Leviathans. The BMoL reveal they have the demon tablet, and suggest Kevin might be able to find something on it to control demonkind and restore Hell. Big dramatic reveal to the Winchesters only, the BMoL admit that there is a means of closing the Gates of Hell permanently on the tablet – learned from a previous prophet whom, ahem, did not survive their duty – and now the Winchesters are torn between sparing the world from demons and betraying Crowley. Crowley, who is counting on them to help him get his throne back. Crowley who has begrudgingly and then more willingly worked cases with them while they’ve tried to find an answer to all of this. Crowley who led them to the MoL and the bunker in the first place. Who isn’t as bad as the rest of his kind, who Dean likes to go for a drink with and might even consider a friend. And just as the Winchesters decide they can find another way to close the Gates, Kevin discovers the necessary spell, and the BMoLs take advantage that there is a demon close at hand, and snatch Crowley to perform the demon trials.

And by the time the Winchesters race to his rescue – torn, because ending the trial means not closing the Gates, but damn it, he’s had their backs, so they’re going to have his – Crowley is in the last hour of the cure. Tells them to let it happen, let the trial be complete, the Gates slammed shut. His own soul restored. But there’s that whole thing with Metatron and Cas and the angels going on, so of course this is the moment the angels are cast out of Heaven. And Abaddon bursts in, maybe Meg comes to challenge her. And in all the chaos, the cure is never completed, time’s up, too late. The boys defeat the BMoLs, rescue Crowley, escape. Cas is lost somewhere in the world, human after what happened in Heaven.

Season 9 would be almost completely the same – Crowley’s blood addiction, searching for the Mark and the Blade, Abaddon, the angels, all of it – except, the Winchesters actually sympathize with Crowley. They express concern, ask after him, say maybe having regained something of his soul is a good thing. And Crowley is torn, because he can now really feel that affection he has for the boys, and he might very well have the option of a place among them, but also he knows Hell needs a ruler to keep demonkind in line, and he still likes power. The boys help him overthrow Abaddon, help him get clean of his blood addiction. Maybe there’s a scene where Crowley and Meg compare notes – he who went through the cure, and she who cares for an angel, neither of whom really fit with demonkind anymore. And by the time the season reaches the later episodes, with Crowley back on the throne and the boys working cases while trying to figure out what to do about Metatron, Crowley is an acknowledged, secret extension of Team Free Will. Makes changes to Hell, keeps demonkind under tight control, helps here and there on cases.

All of this, all of this headcanon, just to get to the point where the boys are always making side comments to Crowley about, you know, how if he wanted to give up Hell and join the three of them full time, he’d be welcome. Come on, just work one more case with us. Just this one about hellhounds. Just that one with vampires. Just one more, one more, one more. And Crowley acquiesces more than he knows he should. Cares about the boys and Cas more than he knows he should, hates Hell and demons more than he knows he should.

So that by the time the Mark takes Dean and turns him into a demon, it’s not only Sam and Cas that are hurt by it. It’s Crowley, too. Crowley who sees Dean turning into something truly evil, something worse than Crowley himself is now. And he agrees with Sam and Cas that he’ll take demon!Dean under his wing as his second-in-command in Hell until they find a cure, a cure for the Mark as much as for being a demon. Season 10 is all about Cas (who’s grace is fading) and Sam working to find a cure while working cases, and Crowley trying to keep Dean occupied with hunting down rebel demons and the like. He even sends the Knight of Hell after angels, to capture more grace for the fading Castiel. Throw Rowena – as Fergus’ ex-wife – in there, attempting to convince Crowley to share his throne with her, causing mischief. He would feel this deep sense of loneliness – demon!Dean isn’t the companion he was before the Mark, Rowena only wants power for herself ultimately, demonkind hates and is in open rebellion against him – and Crowley is beginning to admit to himself that he just doesn’t have this in him anymore, to be the kind of monster it takes to rule Hell. Maybe Dean even tries to take the throne from him, with Rowena’s help, and the acceptance by the demons of this alternative ruler is everything Crowley needs to finally break from old loyalties and the desire to rule, from demonkind entirely.

Realizing the situation is entirely out of control, Crowley, Cas and Sam work to capture Dean. They convince Rowena, who has now taken the throne of Hell for herself, to remove the Mark, thus removing a threat to her reign. Crowley makes an oath that if she will do this, he will never seek to retake the throne. An enraged demon!Dean is forced through the demon trials, in which he says the most horrible and hurtful things to Sam and Cas. And to Crowley, cuttingly demanding to know why the former king will put Dean through this, restore the hunter’s humanity, but not his own. Crowley doesn’t have an answer. He doesn’t have an answer because he realizes that, once, he would have said it was important he hold Hell, or that he wanted the power that came with being a demon, or that he was scared of facing what he’s done as a demon. In light of everything that has happened – the complete rejection by demonkind and the loss of Hell, the revulsion he feels after the aborted cure and Dean’s own time as a demon, and knowing he has a place here on Team Free Will – Crowley realizes he no longer has a reason not to complete the cure.

And in the last hour of the cure, with Dean almost entirely restored to himself, the hunter understands the demon better than ever before. Tells him, one of these days, it’s going to be Crowley in this chair, the cure coursing through him, the three of them gathered around him, supportive. And Crowley knows he’s right. It’s no longer a question of if – only when.

Once they’ve completed the demon cure, the boys set about removing the Mark, with Rowena’s help. And removing the Mark unleashes the Darkness in the world. In season 11, the Darkness should have been something much more insidious, and dangerous. A force which slithers into people, bolsters the innate darkness that is in everyone, turning people into their worst selves. And it controls demons utterly. They are mostly formed of the Darkness, after all.

And for Crowley and the cure, “when” is now. It is that, or fear turning on the people who used to teasingly ensnare him in “just one more case,” who would embrace him as one of them if only he’d allow it. And now, he’s finally ready for that.

[impala-in-gotham]

SPN Finale Theory: Part Two

Finale realizations continued--taking off of Part One

Chuck’s Swan Song Finale 2.0 and Cas Omitted

Throughout the show Chuck is still trying to get the brother vs brother end using His own "blunt instruments" by bringing back Lucifer(s7-15) multiple times, giving Dean the MOC(s10), bringing in AW Michael(s13) and possessing Dean(s14). It never works because free will, love and family always wins.

So... all of s15, minus the last 2 episodes, were filled with all the character development we saw develop and arcs that were the product of "running their own race". THEN Cas dies.

Everything Cas represents fades away in ep 19. The last time we hear his voice is corrupted by Lucifer. (But it also canonically confirms Dean loves Cas.) How he changed Dean’s self-worth, renewed Sam’s hope, and Jack himself is all that’s left of Cas to help change the narrative and defeat Chuck once and for all. He died believing this would come to pass because he saved Dean.

You feel the disconnect happen in between Lucifer and Michael’s deaths and Jack becoming the new God. But even with Chuck the writers no longer in power, its reverted back to before Cas ever interfered. Family is back to only the brothers and the plot is back to hunting monsters. The ending for each brother mirrors the finales of the season before Cas meant something to them. Dean got a season 3 finale since Cas meant something to Dean first and Sam got a season 5 finale since Cas didn’t mean as much to him until s6.

Carry On:

Dean’s character has dwindled back down to his car, pie, rock music, and beer of s3. He even loves dogs again as if he’s pre-hellhound death trauma. Sam’s character has dwindled back down to the baby brother that no longer wants to hunt but there for emotional support of pre-s5. Even the damn journal's back and Jenny for some reason.

Dean’s s3 "at least then my life can mean something" mindset AKA before found family-Bobby reminds him it always did and Cas saves him returns. He dies by getting stabbed in the back mirroring how Sam died in s2 which led to Cas & the apocalypse to begin with. Dean desperately tries to accept it and begs to be told its ok for him to die. It’s as if s15 Dean that doesn’t want to die is battling with s3 Dean who always feared but expected he’d die on a hunt. Cas doesn't save him this time. Since Sam went on to apparently live a very hollow, apple pie life where he was mourning his brother the whole time it mirrors s5 Dean’s life with Lisa. Sam builds a family but his wife is just a stand-in, his son is a Dean jr, and all his memories surround the parents and brother he lost. Cas still doesn’t interfere. Sam also needs assurance to let go.

Even heaven isn't post-s5 accurate despite the claim that Jack and Cas built this to be the heaven Dean dreamed of and deserved. Sure, Jan. Cas is supposedly alive and well but it’s not known or is [Omitted]; however, what Cas represents is not in heaven either.

Everything about Dean’s heaven is pre-Cas or pre-apocalypse canon:

Pre-s4 cast of Bobby, parents, and Rufus are the only ones “known” to be in heaven. Leaving out post5 family like Charlie, Kevin, even Adam. Cas witnessed the grief and guilt their loss had on Dean, plus all 3 were already included in s15 (AW Charlie but still Charlie callback). Cas would have had them there, on or off-screen.

Despite Bobby being there as supposed found family, he’s also dwindled down to the Bobby of s3. He doesn’t even get up and hug Dean who he hasn’t seen since s8 which canonically doesn’t make sense for post s3 reunions for Bobby or Dean. You get reunited from death, you hug each other; its the Supernatural law of the land.

Harvelle's is thee bar and only actual setting in heaven instead of Dean's dream of Rocky's Bar circa s14. Which Cas not only knows is Dean’s dream, he stood in it. Cas never went to Harvelle's and the only time it was heaven-related was s5 as a part of Ash's heaven only. Dean never mentions it after.

The heaven beer is El Sol. The same in Dean's djinn dream(s3) AND in the Beautiful Room(s4). Not the beer that they've been drinking in the bunker for years OR the ones in Rocky's that are real-life Jensen's. And not because it's his favorite like in s3/4 BUT because it was his first/with his Dad....that's what we're going with? That's what Dean dreams about? No.

Despite heaven being new & improved, it's actually similar to s5 Dark Side of the Moon heaven. Baby just appears and Dean has to follow the road which can only lead to Sam. Which Cas does witness but...interesting.

In conclusion, episode 20 was unbelievable because it's an illusion of what Sam and Dean's life/fate/heaven would be without Cas changing the story and without Chuck being in charge of it. It's not real. It's a figment of what could have been post-Swan Song. This is exactly why you can watch up to season 5 then skip 10 entire years and still follow the finale. If anything its part 2 of Swan Song that Kripke wanted but didn't get. Jensen knew it. It deleted 10 yrs because it deleted Cas and everything that resulted because of Cas. I have no idea what all was Omitted but I have a feeling the finale was still this s5 nightmare, I’m just thinking maybe it was on purpose.

Cas/Misha persevered despite the 3-6 ep arc role he was supposed to have and continued challenging God's narrative for 12 years. This is why ALL of us that are screaming into the void, can't move on, and hated the finale just so happen to ALSO be Castiel fans or Cas/Dean Girls or Hellers or any fan that saw how Cas's entire arc was the driving force from s6-15. We know #CastielMatters/Energies because without him the show would have died with him as false-god Godstiel. We recognized the profound effect he had on Dean and Sam throughout their character development.

I didn't make any of this up THEY wrote this into being. They wrote the show. They wrote the characters. They wrote the parallels and the very specifically done set design/lighting. We just saw it through a lens that maybe you can't see without being more like Cas. An outsider, self-loathing, trying our best in a world where it’s easy to do our worst, have more faith in love than God, and maybe even be a little queer too. Yes, it was a story that started out as two brothers hunting monsters but they grew up. The whole show grew up and this is NOT how it ends.

[wisteria-lodge]

a thank you note

Dear Supernatural ~

When we first met, things - 2015 was a rough year. The job I moved for was. not a job. So I got sucked back in with my parents. They’re freelance artists, intense, proper hustlers. You’d like them. Whole circus family vibe. Someone’s got a project. Someone’s always got a project. 

So I’m doing lettering and support work and setting up paintings. And I start watching you in the background. Pretty boys fighting monsters. And.

Where do you get off talking about me like that? I’m not fighting monsters. But I sure grew with different schools, houses, car the only constant. I know that whole talk-your-way-in, sneak-your-way-out, get-people-to-talk-to-you thing (remember, you’re my assistant, don’t say we’re related. ) Freelance artist is the job where you think - why do we do this? is it because it’s important, because its our calling? (or are we just not capable of doing anything else?) It’s the job people think is cool because they don’t see the legwork. What’s the next job. Next couple thousand dollars.

And dammit I remember what it was like to not know when my parents would be able to pick me up. To be eight and looking after a sibling four years younger. To be *kind of a parent,* and hey, I’m a second body for my mom where work’s concerned. Of course I’d be the almost-parent with the responsibility and authority. The tool that - so long as it’s useful - is special and important. And if it’s not, well. You keep winning, practicing, helping. You don’t say no. 

And Dean’s looking at his doppleganger, and he’s saying “I didn’t deserve what he put on me” and I’m crying. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be. You snuck up on me. You tricked me. 

And my dumb ass needs it all spelled out in tiny chunks, because I’m going to fight you every step of the way. Guilt is a good thing. What do you want me to be, selfish? Gotta pull my weight. Am I not supposed to give 110%? Isn’t family the most important thing? They need me. Something could go wrong. I can fix it. I need to be there to fix it. No one else can fix it. I’m SPECIAL. 

And you, very gently, take my hands.

“I’m so sorry. You’re not. You’re not special.” 

And it’s season 5. Sam and Dean have rejected the destinies that were only ever just ego. And it’s playing voice over like it’s the end, but what the hell am I supposed to do now, show? IF I’M NOT THE THINGS THEY TELL ME I AM, WHAT THE HELL AM I? DON’T YOU DARE, DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE LEAVE ME LIKE THIS.

Then season 6 starts, shakes its head. “You’re gonna hate the answer.” 

Sam tries to define himself though work, fails. Dean tries to define himself though family, fails. Crowley tries to define himself though power, fails. I don’t know what the hell Castiel was trying to do, but he failed more spectacularly than anyone else. Balthazar did the best, and he tried hedonism. And like, as a way to kickstart whatever’s going on underneath once you stop cosplaying your parents. Could do worse.

(which is why whenever I hear “the story ended with season 5,” my response is YOU WANNA COME OUT TO THE PARKING LOT AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE, PUNK????!!!) 

I start to pick at layers. And yeah. I *do* need all eight million hours to explain to me why being a sibling’s parent & living to protect and fix them, is bad. And I needed the vampire metaphor, and the skinwalker metaphor, AND the First Blade metaphor, AND the Sword of Michael metaphor before I get it through my head that being a tool is not the same as being a person. 

And after Dean strips away all those selves, the part left underneath is dark and young and hungry and powerful. “Why did you ignore me?” she wants to know. “why did you lock me away?” Dean can’t fight that. Has to fill himself up with souls, become the avatar of empathy and say “Put aside the rage. Put aside the hate. And you tell me... what do you want?” 

And it took me... way too long to ask myself that. I’m sorry. Because it seems like what I’ve wanted, all along, was to be a teacher. Sure, I’ve done a lot more objectively glamorous things. But I don’t wake up sick and anxious anymore. I didn’t know feeling like this was an option.

It’s weird being an authority figure. But you’ve got my back, don’t you? you ridiculous show. Last couple seasons have been about how to be a responsible mentor, without tapping into the old baggage. And you keep reminding me, that if I ever claim to be a wise man it surely means that I don’t know. I’ve got some Gen Zs who would like to thank you.

Thank you. You told me people don’t control you unless you say yes. You taught me to be angry at my parents, to forgive them, to see them as people. You showed me that sometimes you picture the endings wrong. That progress doesn’t always look like progress, it’s messy, and it doesn’t go in a straight line.

Your final season starts tonight. I expect you’ll hit me in the head with a baseball bat and patiently explain why I was the baseball bat all along.

What the hell. I trust you.

[phoenix1966sbottom]

Hi Phoneix! Do you have any favorite fics discussing the more gloomy, realistic problems between Sam and Dean? Safiyabat's for example (just an example, it doesn't need to be something like that), but non-slash is fine with me. Preferably hurt Sam, and no fixing. Also, if you don't mind, I'm curious what's your idea on their dysfunctional relationship? Thank you! ( I understand this is a fic rec blog, please just ignore my question if you don't feel to answer :)

When I read your first sentence, I immediately thought of Safiyabat for their wincest and gen stories. I haven’t come across many that really focus on the dysfunctional nature of the family relationship as well as their stuff and stays close to canon (there are plenty of serial killer!AUs, etc., for example).

That being said, I have a couple of gloomy ones and ones that just focus on the broken, family dynamic. Hurt!Sam all the way. Heed the warnings where the stories are hosted as there are deathfics in this list, not to mention other disturbing content (also, John and/or Dean are not “good” guys in these stories):

Remember When…by darkroses on Ao3. Sam/Dean, Dean/John. Wincest. John is mysteriously back from the dead and Sam is happy about that until he walks in on his father and Dean. Sam is upset and jealous, so Dean reminds him of times in their past.Sam doesn’t want to think about those times. Dean thinks Sam is playing a game by shying away from him.

Don’t Let Me Know We’re Invisible by mimblexwimble on LiveJournal. Sam/Dean. Wincest. The sex is ambiguous. Sam just can’t cope with the hunting life.

Wild Men Who Caught and Sang the Sun by kroki-refur on adult-fanfiction.org. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Sam is Dean but Dean is not Sam.

What Doesn’t Kill Us by kroki-refur on LiveJournal. Sam/Dean, Sam/John. Wincest. Incest. Heed the warnings on this one! John and Dean use abusive methods to keep Sam in line. (this might be f-locked now)

Talk to Me by darkroses on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. John walked in on the unthinkable. He never wanted this to happen but he needed answers. He hoped this wasn’t true. He hoped there was another reason.

The Wolf At His Door by goandgetthegun on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest.  Dean wants Sam in every way he shouldn’t, so when he gets an opportunity to have what he wants, he takes it.

The Virgin by darkroses on Ao3. Sam/John (non-con). Wincest. Sixteen year old Sam is on a hunt with his dad, brother, and Bobby. The thing is targeting virgins. John takes matters into his own hands to protect Sam.

And if I show you my dark side by ratherastory on LiveJournal. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Dean will never let Sam go, and Sam knows it. This changes nothing, but it changes everything.

These two are a/b/o by darkroses:

To Have Worth. Sam/Dean. Wincest AU. Dean claims Sam from a young age to be his omega. Sam wasn’t sure how he felt about that. His feelings changed with time. All he wanted was to be worth something. No matter what Sam offered, he could never have what he was searching for.

The Monster in the Shadows. Sam/John, Sam/Dean. Wincest AU. John comes to terms with how to treated Sam after he presented as an omega at the tender age of twelve. He only did what he thought he was right. He can never make up for what he did. He can never change what Sam thinks of him now.

And, finally, a gen one I really liked because it showed how Sam suffered for a decision Dean made (something the show, in my opinion, teases at but never fully resolves. e.g. Dean selling his soul and not really considering what hell he’s condemning his brother to in the process, allows an angel to possess him even though he knows Sam hated every moment of Meg and Lucifer). It goes AU after Dean knocks Sam unconscious and leaves him on the ground in 9X23.

How the Wild Things Start by foolscapper on Ao3. Gen. Sam-centric. "This is where it starts — the brightly lit ring, the screams, the glinting of knives, the baring of teeth. This, right here, is where it begins. Sam turns to Dean, Metatron just a hero’s walk away, and Dean slams his fist into the side of Sam’s face. It will bruise, but that’s not the point. Sam will not face Metatron’s blade and wrath, but that is not the point. The point is, Dean puts Sam’s hands on his chest, the action sickly sweet like perfume left on a tacky, bloated corpse — and then he walks away. He leaves Sam, dreaming black dreams on the ground, just outside of the impala. Baby does not protect him when one of Abaddon’s followers finds him. Baby does not scream for help or look for Dean when the demons drag Sam’s unconscious body away.When Dean leaves Metatron’s burnt-out husk, his bones screaming ecstasy from the kill, he finds Sam gone.“

As for my thoughts on dysfunctional wincest…I’ll put them below the cut so people can skip that if they want.

I started watching the show as it went on the air, so I have had 12 years to mull over all sorts of relationships, etc. Below are my thoughts on wincest in fanon. I am by no means saying it exists in canon or should exist in canon. These are simply my opinions. 

Wincest, to me, was there from the start. You’ve got the father (and one day I will sit down and write out my take on John) who raises his sons as soldiers (I know Sam described them as “warriors” in the pilot, but I suspect the word choice was intentional by the writers. There are rightfully all types of negative connotations to the phrase “child soldier”). Nevertheless, this is how they were raised.

The sons were never given the time or permission to form outside attachments with all the moving around John put the family through. They were taught at a young age to lie, and later to cheat and steal via credit card fraud and pool hustling at the very least (a reason the whitewashing of John’s character in these last few seasons irks me. “I raised you right” was John’s motto? Really? However, that is a discussion for another time)

Dean was given the heavy burden of raising his brother. John stripped him of his childhood and drilled into him to always “take care of Sammy” from a very young age. And that is where I see the seeds of wincest, with the older brother having proprietary feelings for his younger because John placed Sam (literally and figuratively) in Dean’s hands. And, at his end, John placed Sam’s life once more in Dean’s control by urging him to save or kill his younger brother while leaving Sam in the dark about what he knew.

John emphasized family first according to his rules and did not allow them to leave (except, of course, he was allowed to go off and not only father another son, but let that son have the life, including “normal” dad, Sam and Dean ached for). The price of leaving the family (and for college, not to run off to deal drugs, etc.)? Excommunication from the only family/support system Sam was allowed to have. Having made his sons so dependent on the family unit, I wonder if John secretly thought Sam would eventually cave and come crawling back to them (my speculation - nothing in the show overtlypointed to this).

For me, that sealed the deal that Sam and Dean were much like two people trapped on a deserted island, or like siblings trapped in an attic with a parent that was only sporadically present - ripe breeding ground for incestuous thoughts and feelings. No, I don’t for one second see it as a healthy relationship, because the boys were never allowed to know healthy.

Furthermore, Dean was always the controlling partner. I would say to the point of obsessiveness, which is understandable given the pressures that were placed on him by John. In the first season, we get to see Dean isolating Sam from the life he was building outside of the “family”. In “Skin”, he sort of mocks Sam for staying in touch with his friends, making him feel guilty that he is dishonest with them and agrees when Sam rather incredulously asks if he is supposed to just cut them out of his life. By the end of that episode, Sam is resigned to no longer really staying in touch. But Dean, like John, gets to live by different rules. We discover Dean did have a relationship with Cassie while Sam was away, going so far as to break that unspoken rule the family had about not revealing the hunting life to people they aren’t “saving”. That backfired on him, with her ending the relationship. When they meet up again in the first season, he promises to come back to her even though she doesn’t believe they have a chance. He never does return and even ignores Sam’s offer of staying there longer (Sam wanting Dean to have that life he himself had tried to fashion is once again echoed in the promise he extracts from Dean in Swan Song. Notice that when Dean returned from Purgatory [when he was thought dead], he harangued and punished Sam verbally and emotionally for trying for normal once again).

So, the show continued its slow reinforcement of the boys never having successful relationships outside of their tiny family. Sam “fails” at love when almost all his significant others die, and Dean “fails” at love when he is either rejected by them or he feels they are unsafe knowing him (in the latter, he makes one of his unilateral “I know what’s good for you even though this will take away some of your autonomy” decisions and has Lisa & Ben mindwiped. foolscapper did a dark fic au on how that choice played out in the end…ouch)

To me, there is so much fodder to play with in fanon for a twisted, unhealthy relationship with a dark, controlling Dean. Although I read very little written like that, it is my favorite wincest headcanon. This is not to say I don’t enjoy a romanticized version of wincest (because I do very much and it is usually my preferred reading), but, to me, the show enforces an unhealthy, push vs. pull relationship between the two that they will never completely resolve.

As an aside, I also find it almost humorous we all refer to them as “the boys” when they are men (if you take into account their age), as though we subconsciously acknowledge they have not grown up into adults in the conventional sense of the word and probably never will.

They truly are the lost boys doomed to never leave Neverland.