#i mean it's been years but this does spoil the first two seasons LOL

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs the Good Place S1-S2

I’ve watched this first ep like three times and it took me until now to realize Michael is probably named after the show creator lmao

“One of the other people in your neighbourhood is your actual soulmate, and you will spend eternity together.” I just noticed Eleanor turning around and checking out Jianyu 

What happens if you were already married to your soulmate? Do they have a separate afterlife for singles 

“Why does she still have that accent? No one else here has an accent.” Chidi’s accent should definitely sound more Senegalese or at the very least have the tinge of a Francophone if there’s any accent retention after-death

Love how even when Tahani and Eleanor are being snarky about each other it’s through the lens of finding each other cute:

Unclear if the look on Jianyu/Jason’s face is guilt or worry for himself lol:

“It’s merely the construct of a dog. It feels no pain, or joy, or love.” This is because all dogs are in the Other Good Place LOL

Honestly I’m with Eleanor I didn’t realize Chidi ever had his own apartment in this show lol

“I won’t let you down... starting now.” I enjoy that Chidi’s face is a cross between ‘what have I gotten myself into’ and genuinely endeared by Eleanor’s ridiculousness

“I got a present for you... Senegal.” “That’s not a present; that’s just common decency.” Talking to white people really be like that sometimes

“I have what doctors call ‘directional insanity.” I’m Chidi, Chidi is me

I admire Jason’s prolonged stoicism lmao that takes dedication 

“Basically my life’s work is 3,600 pages of garbage.” Every writer has this feeling every so often LOL

“Not to mention, you have a rockin’ bod.” I really do hope they make a point of Eleanor being bisexual 

Lmao the transition from Jianyu to Jason is INCREDIBLE someone give Manny Jacinto an Emmy 

“Everyone here thinks I’m Taiwanese. I’m Filipino. That’s racist. Heaven is so racist.” GOD THE WRITING ON THIS SHOW IS INCREDIBLE

“Is she single, or is she married to Michael?” Team Jason/Janet 4ever

The depiction of Florida on this show is right on brand with everything I have ever imagined about Florida 

The hope on Eleanor’s face when Chidi offers Jason a lifeline GOD we love a man

“I am here to learn about ethnics.” Everything Jason says is so funny I’m losing my mind

Kristen Bell is really the only person who can pull off this role of being so excited for doing the bare minimum of human decency and actually make it endearing 

Based on Michael’s timing of showing up every time Eleanor and Chidi are mid-argument I wonder how much of his day is just dedicated to creeping on them in preparation for dramatic moments lmao

“It’s very... middle thermometer.” They’ve managed to capture my South Asian parent-child experience in less than ten words lmao 

Disclaimer/sidenote: Despite saying this, I am exhausted of the way people in western media write South Asian parents lmao. Give me an Ek Ladkhi scene where the parents are also willing to beat down people who insult their kids. It’s so one-sided:

Rich people are wild I cannot imagine giving up millions of dollars just because my parents loved me less than my sibling. Even if you didn’t want the money it could serve so much use to other people

I love how down Eleanor is to have sex with any person she meets given the right circumstances

“I know we’ll never be soulmates, but we’re friends.” ARE YOU SURE ELEANOR

“How do you row a boat?” With great difficulty; oars are very heavy

Which woman is so hard up for available friends that they would entrust Early Eleanor with a dog with kidney disease

“She’s so pretty like Nala from the Lion King.” The levels to this comment

"Three person couple.” “Does not compute.” Janet said no polyamory rights kjhkjhkjhjk

I really enjoy this montage of Michael and Eleanor enjoying human activities they are truly #friendgoals lmao

“Do you like France as much as I do?” “Well, they enslaved my country for 300 years, so no. But, they have great museums.” “Yes.” Tahani and Chidi’s conversation about France kills me lmao

I guess Tahani can’t really fault colonialism since she’s British LMAO

I like that they experiment with all the younger main characters together lmao there’s some implied chemistry in a lot of directions with Eleanor, Tahani, Chidi, Jason and Janet 

Fshjdghkjdshgkjhds

Eleanor: But leave up the sexy mailman. To remember me by.

Chidi: [nods seriously]

Janet’s delivery always kills me but her Count Chocula Sobs and whispered confident, “Yeah,” is truly something else:

“Those are the coolest boots I’ve ever seen in my life.” I’m so Chidi sometimes u catch urself telling very pointless lies for either a very mediocre reason or no reason at all just because ur caught up in a conversation and can’t stop saying things to fill the silence and then later it haunts u

“Killing is one of the most famous moral no-nos.” Every line of this show is beautifully written

KDJHFKSJHFKJ I love that this episode is the turning point for Chidi actually having his own moral failings

"And even if she were okay, it would be too painful for me to live with these lies.” CHIDI U HAVE BEEN LYING SINCE EP 1 LMAO IT’S A LITTLE LATE TO DECIDE U DON’T WANT TO

“The problem in the neighbourhood is me.” Say what you will about Eleanor at least in the afterlife she really cares about her friends:

“You will spend eternity with murderers, arsonists, and people who take off their shoes and socks on commercial airlines.” By this metric, at least one member of my immediate family is going to The Bad Place

If, as by Michael’s measure of Eleanor we are counting on the impact of our actions and not just intentions (i.e. Eleanor making her cousin happy as a positive) then objectively it is bizarre that none of the good Tahani has done for others through charity or even just like, hosting events for other people, means anything in the afterlife. What gives

“You’re too nice to humiliate.” I feel like this is foreshadowing of Michael being a Ineffective Demon and Great Friend

“There should be a medium place for people like me who kind of sucked, but in a fun, chill way.” [Sad chuckle] “I agree.” Awwww Chidi is sad to see her go

“You should smile more.” Adam Scott really has mastered the art of portraying an unpleasant man lmao

OMG CHIDI AND ELEANOR HOLDING HANDS WHEN SHE GETS OFF THE TRAIN

“You know, it doesn’t matter if you know things. All that matters is what’s in your heart.” Jason said Himbo/Bimbo rights

“Sorry you’re snorting the... concept of time?” I’m sure people on cocaine feel this way occasionally

“Who are they gonna believe, me, or a woman?” Men really do be like that sometimes 

“He’s the wise, eternal Judge who sits on high, has the final say on all disputes between our two realms.” “And his name is... Shawn?” The real tipping point for believing this is not The Good Place should’ve been how every person in charge of it is depicted as a white man lmao

Djfhkjh I forgot when Tahani found out about Jason. The end of episode reveals are great they really do know how to make you want to watch the next one 

How does Tahani know every celebrity EXCEPT Ariana Grande lmao 

“Oh Ariana, we’re really in it now.” God. I love Jason so much 

“Hooking up with someone with the exact same name is kind of a fun, narcissistic fantasy, I could be into it.” [’NSYNC voice] bi bi bi

Who in their right mind would let Chidi be a team captain lmao

“Congratulations, Chidi. You filibustered recess.” Kjfgjdhgj teach them early  

Every time Eleanor mentions a political philosopher I had to study I feel sympathy for how truly boring they are lmao. Honestly I didn’t retain much

KJHFJHSKJHFKJHKJAHKJ ELEANOR’S MONOLOGUE ABOUT LOVING CHIDI LMAO

Chidi running away because two beautiful and fun women have expressed feelings for him, is really a my-diamond-shoes-are-too-tight scenario

Janet giving Jason his favourite kind of wings 💗 They’re so sweet

“So you also love Chidi? And you just told him, right before I did?” “Technically you told him that he loves you, but yes.” lmao u right Eleanor

Happy Pride Month to Tahani whose every interaction with a man screams of comphet LMAO

I know Eleanor and Tahani is not what they’re aiming for here but jhgkjhg:

Eleanor: Are you ready to take our bonding to the next level?

Tahani: [gay intrigue]

Ahhh Uzo is such a good friend he knows Chidi and he’s so chill about him being anxious I love this dynamic I feel bad that Chidi’s dead

“Jianyu is a hot dummy, definitely my type.” LMAO I FORGOT ABOUT THIS AND ALSO ELEANOR REALLY WOULD SLEEP WITH ALL OF HER FRIENDS (EXCEPT MICHAEL OBVS) LMAO

OH MY GOOOOD POOR UZU AND A MONTH BEFORE HIS WEDDING TOO

“Does anyone here object to this marriage?” “Of course we do, how could we not object?” “Yes, it is a terrible idea.” “Overruled.” JANET KJHJKGHJKFH

Get someone who looks at you the way that Jason and Janet look at each other:

“True love is what Janet and Jianyu have.” YEAH IT IS

Digital Getdown being on the Jasonet wedding playlist was really an iconic move

Really it has to be a very mundane kind of torture to having someone foist a love confession on you lmao but I guess [Sartre voice] Hell is other people 

“I got ten bucks to my name. I spent 8 of it on this burrito, and the other 2 on the guac.” Been there Pillboi

The fact that Jason thinks Michael is Janet’s dad kkjdhgkjhg 

“I wasn’t a failed DJ, I was pre-successful.” I want to live in Jason’s brain

God we love a man who has emotional intelligence. Jason may not have a lot of logical reasoning skills but he knows how to calm someone down and how to love 

“Even when I do nice things, I’m only doing something so I get something out of it—the ability to stay here—which means none of this had any real moral value.” This is excellent Tahani foreshadowing but also I call bullshirt. 1) Doing good things inherently makes you feel better, so I think it would be very hard to find entirely selfless actions and 2) If you give care, time, or money to just causes and helping others whether you’re doing it for recognition or not you still have vastly improved someone’s life. It DOES count

“What if he reboots me and we fall out of love?” 😭😭😭 Let them be together!!!

Having Mindy live with her incurable addiction but be unable to fulfill it is a very medium thing to do

Eleanor’s first act of making herself comfortable in the Medium Place being putting photos of Tahani, Jason and Chidi 😭😭😭😭 She is SO endearing

Ajfhdkjhfsj Chidi immediately still wanting to jump in to defend Eleanor even after watching firsthand all the horrible things she did what kind of wholeass love and friendship

I have so many questions about where Janet’s genitals are located based on those diagrams, why did the second one not work

“I brought you two a little treat.” Oh my god Michael in Janet’s outfit hjkhkjhgkjfdk

Also I know it’s meant to be some form of torture, and like remind them of their impending doom. But what I see is a guy giving his friends a little snack

“I’m sorry Eleanor, but I engaged a ride-or-die protocol, so I’m loyal to Jason forever.” Get u a wife like Janet

The real question is why they had Kristen Bell play her high school self in a flashback if they were going to cast a teenager to play her later anyway 

Also as much as I love Kristen Bell: Definitely not a high schooler LMAO 

Maybe to draw a distinction between things she purposely did without regard for other people (as her main self) vs. when she was subject to other people’s neglect as a kid 

“I was dropped into a cave, and you were my flashlight.” Eleanor saying goodbye with a reference to Plato’s Allegory of a Cave the ROMANCE

I’d heard that the actors didn’t know about the reveal until they shot this scene so I’d be curious to see if they broke at some point 

“Didn’t you raise like, $1,000 for charity or whatever?” “60 billion actually. But it didn’t matter, because my motivations were corrupt.” Yeah call me a consequentialist but for one final time: I just can’t buy that doing nice things for a selfish reason COMPLETELY negates it??? Tangibly improving someone’s life situation, no matter what reason, seems like a good action. Fuck you Kant

“Side note, I might legit be into Tahani.” Tahani’s [gay surprise] expression oh my god 

I love how quick Eleanor is to think on her feet. Improv master lmao

Hjhjhkjhkjhlkjh now reading the credits: Pleased that they cast a Bengali actress as a Real Eleanor (who said she was from Bangladesh—even though they were accurate for Manny Jacinto’s ethnicity I wasn’t really sure if they would be regionally specific, like as far as I know William Jackson Harper doesn’t specifically identify as Senegalese

Also: Kills me that Bambadjan’s real name is Bambadjan, which implies both that his name is better than whatever name they had in the script, and that he is playing himself

“Eleanor - Bad Place,” would actually be one letter less than “Eleanor, Find Chidi,” but I understand that the message is less about identifying the lie and more about finding morality and her friends

We are finally progressing into the parts of the show I don’t know/remember 

“I won’t let you down.” “I think you will. I think this entire project of yours is stupid and doomed to fail. I think you’re going to be retired, eliminated from existence, and burned on the surface of a billion suns. And I have no doubt that you and your cockamamie experiment will go down in history as colossal failures.” “You know I think that—” “Toodeloo.” My high school guidance counselor to me when I said I wanted to go to school out of province lmao

“I can’t wait to have breakfast with Kant, and lunch with Michel Foucault, and then have dinner with Kant with Kant again so we can talk about what came up at breakfast.” “I’m sorry Chidi, all the great philosophers in history ended up in the Bad Place.” I believe this

I thought for a second Pedro, Angelique and Pevita were ALL Chidi’s potential soulmates and got excited, but straight people strike again lmao:

I have been wondering for a while whether or not sexuality plays into soulmates though. Does anyone have platonic soulmates in the afterlife lmao

“But good, would I go as far as to say to say you look good? Doubtful.” Chidi trying to be the appropriate amount of nice turns into negging lmao

Rhkjhgjhgg Eleanor immediately recognizing the slightly more whack energy this time around

“Charmed, I’m short.” Fghgkhgkgh the immediate fixation on her soulmate’s height and appearance in a way she didn’t do so meanspiritedly for any of the gang. Tahani said all of my friends are hot and Eleanor’s the only one allowed to be short

Tahani said: If Eleanor’s busy, I’ll step up to the plate to represent the Girlies Who Are Seconds Away From Losing It at All Times:

“Some of the [soulmate] pairings are platonic, some are romantic.” I guess that answers that question

Honestly didn’t think about it until now but it’s impressive that Jason can wear a Buddhist’s monks’ clothes the exact correct way based only on a single observation. He shows his intelligence in his way!!

“I am a Ferrari, and you don’t keep a Ferrari in the garage.” Vicky aka Real Eleanor knows her worth

The parallel storylines revealing what each character has been doing are very fun

Genuinely impressed by how much prop paper Kristen Bell just ate

“I’m too young to die, and too old to eat off the kids menu! What a stupid age I am.” Me too, Jason:

I also think having to go to a jazz show would tip me off that I’m in hell

“This is your soulmate, Tahani.” I know you can have a platonic soulmate now but I believe in my heart that this one wasn’t 

“Can you just chill out? Is that possible, Janet? Can you just chill out a little?” “Nope, it’s gonna be the same every time.” Me talking to my mother LMAO

“We are on strike until our demands are met.” #PayYourWriters

It’s impressive how many times Michael has managed to lose most of the only four people his entire neighbourhood is designed for

Chidi not hesitating for a second to tell Eleanor he loves her back:

“How many times have Chidi and I slept together?” “Eight different days, but like 20 different sessions.” GOOD FOR THEM LMAO

“I want to team up with you guys.” Michael said: Let me in the gang 💗

I am also genuinely endeared by Michael. His definition of torture is honestly so polite. Jazz and froyo LMAO 

“I’m sorry, has it been 100 hours?” Hahahaha I love how Tahani is genuinely intimidated by Eleanor’s confident dismissal 

Ethics question: If Tahani’s lack of care of other people is the reason she ended up in the Bad Place, do they also take into account the emotional abuse by her whole family and the way other people insistently dismissed her for Kamilah as part of that motive? Does enduring that so many times without complaint not tip the scales in her favour at all?

“And since you’re the only actual humans here, I’m on board for whatever fun little schemes you guys come up with.” Janet’s ride-or-die protocol is still engaged at heart

“Make all your memos one page, max, with pictures.” Vicky would’ve fit right in for the [Redacted] presidency

“These Millennials, they have no work ethic. Oh, sorry, a Millennial is someone who’s only been torturing people for a thousand years.”

This really is a good summary of what it’s like to take a philosophy class:

“Man, repressing your feelings is great.” Michael’s midlife crisis is very human man, down the to convertible and the much younger woman

Gdhkhdkjdh Tahani 🤝 Michael

Having very benign visions of what being tortured is like, as with someone throwing a better party than you

This is the line I quote most from this show out of everything:

[Gasps] “A family pack?” Me 🤝 Eleanor

Unprocessed spicy memories bubbling up in the middle of a mundane task in a communal space 

“You’re cool, dope, fresh and smart-brained. I’ve never seen you dance, but I bet you’re good. Because... you’re good at everything. You’re awesome. Be nicer to yourself.” Tahani 🤝 Jason 🤝 Jason

Falling in love anyone who is nice to you for more than a few minutes

“What do you think about writing a rap musical about Kierkegaard?” I want to read the songs that Chidi wrote LOL

“My name is Kierkegaard, and my writing is impeccable. Check out my teleological suspension of the ethical.” THANK YOU CHIDI FOR IMMMEDIATELY DELIVERING

You can tell this was filmed in 2017 because it is PEAK Hamilton era

“Plus they’re all French, so they’re going to the bad place automatically.” HGGHKGHGHKGH. Oh the French

“You’ve never dated anyone like Jason before.” Not Tahani getting love advice from Jason’s ex-wife

Take a shot everytime someone in this show says, “This is why everyone hates moral philosophy professors.”

Michael said: Chidi please adapt to my practical learning style

“But I tell her she’s pretty a hundred times a day, and she’s never said I’m pretty once.” Illegal. Tahani should be court-ordered to tell Jason he’s pretty

I believe in my whole heart that Janet lost a thumb because even as their couple’s therapist, she is still in love with Jason

“I’m your hottest friend. No, Tahani. I’m your nicest fr— no, Jason. I’m your friend!” LMAO at least Eleanor is self-aware

Fkfkjfhfjfh I guess technically Michael was doing his job by torturing Chidi

Also imagine the psychological trauma Chidi absorbs from having to decide to kill people so many times in the trolley problem. A reboot button would be helpful for him now 

“Aw, I’m happy for you guys.” [retches and vomits out a frog] JANETJASON ENDGAME

Michael’s little evil laugh also gets me every time. I love Ted Danson

“I call them ‘opposite tortures.’” “Do you mean, ‘presents?’” Hahahaha

Chidi’s a better or more morally stagnant inflexible than I am because I do think making people happy is a good thing even if the gifts are bribes in pursuit of forgiveness 

The way Janet malfunctions every time she supports Jason and Tahani. SHE’S IN LOOOOOVE

“Glitches may be a sign that your Janet is processing or disseminating information that is incompatible with objective truth.” Because she’s lying about her feeeelings

VINDICATIONNNNNNNNNNNN:

[Chanting] “Kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me.” Janet is perfect and also Jason was right she is Michael’s family LMAO

“The reason is friends!! You’re my friend, Janet, that’s why I can’t kill you.” MICHAEL SAID I AM A DEMON WHO CAN GROW

“This is my new rebound boyfriend Derek. I made him!” OH MY GOD

I guess Tahani and Jason have one thing in common aside from being hot: Their irreverant disregard for everything outside of themselves hahahaha

The cut between Tahani and Jason having a picnic and deciding to get married vs. Chidi, Eleanor and Michael having an ethical dilemma about whether to break them up the greater good of society (themselves)

“That [teacher-student relationship] used to happen a lot at Lynyrd Skynyrd High School, but this time you won’t be arrested.” 1) Someone please help the people at this high school and 2) We know that these are not the vows Jason is meant to have. Send Nude Pics of Your Heart to Me lives in my heart forever

Fjfkhfhfkj Poor Janet, she’s been through more human emotions in the past couple of weeks than in any iteration of herself before:

Eleanor ready to take the opportunity to forget she’s in love with Chidi jghkghg

“This isn’t about your wind-chime penis, in fact it’s not about you at all.” Underrated line from Janet LMAO

[Concerned] “Can you get pregnant from reabsorbing?” I would like to believe this is a lingering hint of jealousy from Jason

FKSJHSKJHS THE FACT EVERYONE LISTENS WHEN ELEANOR TELLS THEM NOT TO LOOK

This episode is emotionally a bummer for all involved couples 

“You really did just come here to chat. To shoot the shirt with your ole pal Eleanor.” “I guess so, why?” “It’s just a very human-y thing to do.” Michael and Eleanor are perhaps my favourite friendship

Eleanor said I’ve only had Michael as a friend for two weeks but if anything happened to him I’d stake the eternal souls of everyone in this room and then myself:

“What the here, dude?” Hahahahaha also a good line

“The other worst moment of Tahani’s life? Every other moment of her empty, pointless life.” This is like that scene in She-ra where they’re like ‘this feels way more personal compared to fire’ 

However, I do appreciate the dropping of hints that Michael is laying out: “Derek” Bortles - last song of a party -  the train/trolley

Janet’s version of magnet intoxication wanting to braid people’s hair is Peak Drunk Not-A-Girl in the Bathroom of a Nightclub Energy

[Sobbing] “You’re my friends and I wanted to save you.” I love one (1) Demon Buddy

Honestly props to Eleanor for figuring out Michael meant for them to stay because I personally would’ve interpreted the mention of Mindy St. Clair as enough reason to go 

“Here’s a willing sex robot and two duffel bags full of cocaine.” Mindy’s Medium Place is going to tip the scales in favour of the positive for her I guess lmao

“Maybe I should’ve realized this wasn’t the good place because of all the diarrhea.” “Maybe you shouldn’t be eating frozen yogurt right now.” Jason providing our Asian Lactose Intolerance Representation 😌💕

It actually does make sense that Eleanor loves Chidi when Chidi does not return those feelings because aside from the fact she has had that knowledge several weeks longer than Chidi, she is also a person who has consistently trusted her gut, and her gut tells her that she loves him, whereas Chidi needs time to think it out

“Once, you handed him a tissue right before he sneezed nd that simple act of anticipating his needs made him fall for you.” 1) Cute and 2) This isssss a love language

Ghkhgghkghg Michael coming into this with no plan and hoping to discover one along the way. Relatable demon 

The height difference with Tahani and everyone else is really apparent in this shot:

Chidi and Jason in particular doing the same dance move is so endearing. They all have something in common!! 

“All every wanted to was to know what it was like to be human. And now we’re going to do the most human thing of all. Attempt something futile with a ton of unearned confidence and fail spectacularly.”

Michael 🤝 Greed from FMA

Being primarily motivated by their love of their homies and general inclination towards more human emotion than any of their counterparts

“As long as I’m with you guys, I’m always in the Fake Good Place.” I want to give Michael a little kiss on the forehead

 “I just made an aphorism.” I just learned a new word

“Any time I had a problem and I threw a molotov cocktail, boom, right away, I had a different problem.” Jason does think outside the box

Tahani’s American accent is actually very good lmao 

“Principles aren’t principles when you pick and choose when you’re going to follow them.” I understand here Chidi means ‘principles’ to mean ‘fundamental truths’ and not ‘moral decisions’ but when it comes to an ethical principle, a person is always going to decide to follow it or not. That is the nature of being autonomous 

Unrelated to anything that’s going on in the Bad Place, the costume change really highlights that Manny Jacinto is so incredibly handsome, look at him, he’s like a painting:

Fully did not realize that Dax Shepard makes a guest appearance in the Bad Place. However. I believe it 

“Hang out with Johnny Depp enough, you become pretty good at lying.” This feels like a prophecy of some sort

“But then I remembered: I’m a naughty bitch.” The dialogue in this show has really transformed since they started being allowed to swear

“A moral particularist, like me—I’m one now, I just decided—would say there’s no absolute rule. You have to choose your actions based on the particular situation.” Turns out I am also somewhat of a moral particularist, Eleanor 

Honestly shocked and perplexed that it’s taken THIS long for anyone to catch Michael in a lie

Say what you will about Jason, he’s very good at molotov cocktails and knowing his own heart

“Goodbye Eleanor.” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. He is the best demon buddy they could ever ask for:

I don’t know who I envisioned as the All-Knowing Judge of All Realms but I do feel like Maya Rudolph is a strong choice

“In the words of one of my actual friends: Ya basic.” I love Michael absorbing Eleanor’s vocabulary

Tahani’s soft gasp and “Oh no,” at what the spa employees and bikini waxers think of her kjgkhgjhg. Fair and relatable but you’d think it’d be the butlers and waiters, considering it’s a morality test

The gang wanting to all stay together in their failure or success 🥺 I love them

You know, I think Tahani letting go of what her parents think of her IS success, even if it’s not technically the exercise

GO JANETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Eleanor choosing not to reveal that she is the only one who has gotten past her fatal flaw (selfishness, as opposed to Chidi, Jason and Tahani failing to get past their indecisiveness, impulsivity and care of how others think of her) is also her being selfless 

“Hey guys! How ya been?” THE GANG’S ALL BACK TOGETHER:

“If I’m right, the system by which we judge humans, the very method we use to deem them good or bad, is so fundamentally flawed that hundreds of millions of people have been wrongly condemned to an eternity of torture.” THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING, MICHAEL

“Whatever progress I have made, it’s because you and I have become friends.” I love Tahani and Eleanor’s friendship, they’re so sweet

“Jason, I love you.” “Oh, word?” “Word.” JASONJANET ENDGAME 💘

“I think I love you too girl.” YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JASON!!! HE DOESN’T KNOW MUCH, BUT HE KNOWS HIS HEART

DOUBLE YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, GO CHIDI, HE KNOWS HIS HEART TOO:

They all love each other so much they don’t want to be in separate Medium Places 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THEY ARE THE CUTEST FRIEND GROUP

Hahaha, I notice that her roommates call her Elea-NOR instead of Elea-NER like her friends do which feels like something intentional 

“Do you want to come to Lauren’s baby shower?” “Do you want to chew on my ASS-ortment of brownies that I will be bringing to Lauren’s baby shower?” [Eleanor Shellstrop voice] Pobody’s nerfect

“That took a lot of courage for you to admit that, and I admire your honesty. You stupid skank! How could you do that to me? I hate you!” Newly Not Dead Eleanor is about to learn about moral particularism 

“I still think he’s kind of hot.” “I guess, in like a sick Victorian boy kind of way.” “Oooh, yeah yeah yeah, I want to like, feed him soup.” Brittany is fun. Also I know they said Benedict Cumberbatch but this is exactly how people talk about Timothy Chalamet

Michael loves his friends so much he cannot help but nudge them along through Moral Interventions at the Sports Bar:

“I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people, and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put: We are not in this alone.” I LOVE this brand of moral philosophy

Also this last nudge to bringing them back together is a really great way to end this season. This show is SO GOOD 

[nintendonut1]

Hasty

so i

wrote ship fic of my OCs

if you guys are into that sorta thing LOL

Swee/Willow slowburn fic, where they discuss Swee's favorite television program growing up. Includes swearing, small injury, and telenovela-esque drama (thanks to LassDaisy for double-checking my Spanish!)

“What the—dude. What is this lady’s problem??”

Swee freezes mid-slice, the carrot on his cutting board half-diced, and takes a moment to find his center. Were it anyone else, any other time, he wouldn’t hesitate to throw someone who’d dare slander his girl right out of his kitchen. Shutting his eyes, he, oddly enough, finds inner peace in her shrieking voice blaring at full volume from the mounted television.

It’s okay. He dropped in at the season finale of a show that’s in a language he cannot understand. He has no knowledge of her struggles. Go easy on him.

Without a word, he lifts the remote and pauses the DVD, turning to face his guest with his hands clasped in front of his face. “...okay. Do you want the whole list, or just the top ten?”

Willow gives proper pause, blinking, a cracker drenched in cheese sauce hovering just near his open mouth in mid-bite. After the pause, he pops it in, growing nervous.

…oops.

Swee puffs out a sigh. “Sorry. I get melodramatic about my shows sometimes.” He saunters away from the counter and plops into a chair, joining Willow at the kitchen island and dipping his own cracker in the sauce. He needed a break from dinner prep anyways.

“I can, uh. See why,” Willow ventures with an uneasy grin, one that Swee wants to make go away and turn more genuine as soon as he can. 

“Yeah, heh. This one especially gets me bad. But I can’t help but feel for her, y’know?”

“Swee, she just pulled a gun on these two.” Willow points a chip at her frozen close-up of righteous fury, said gun pointed in front of her. “Like, is she dating one of them? Is that why?” (oh stars, he doesn’t know how painfully heterosexual this show is, that’s so cute holy shit) “Still seems like an overreaction, I dunno.”

“I mean…fair. But,” Swee turns to fully face him, swallowing a cracker. “This is the finale of season ten. There’s been a shitton of build-up to this.”

“So, tell me about it.”

Swee looks straight into those crooked eyes, fresh green and glittering, and finds nothing but sincerity in them.

So, he does.

It’s a bit of a long-winded summary of Hayce T. con Amor, a show near and dear to his heart. He followed its initial airing alongside his mom, and as he traveled around he’d spend hours on the phone with her sharing their impressions of the latest episode, up to its dramatic ending years ago. It follows the tumultuous journey of Hayce T., in her constant pursuit of true love in a sea of liars and cheaters. The first episode opens on her finding her high-school boyfriend making out with another girl under the bleachers, and her luck never, ever seems to lift up from there. The theme was that she’d always throw everything she had into a new relationship, naively hoping that this would be the one, and the boyfriend of the week would always find something wrong with that, each reason more outlandish than the last.

“Hell, last season, Pet T. tried to spin it in a way where she was ‘gaslighting and manipulating’ him by putting on some front?? Bess T., that’s her friend, remember, talked some sense into her, but like, damn, man?”

Willow is absorbing this, taking a thoughtful bite of a small stack of crackers as he considers it all. “So, like.” Oh he’s gonna say it, isn’t he. “When are Hayce and Bess gonna kiss?” 

There it is. Oh god Willow you beautiful soul. I could kiss you right now.

Swee doesn’t, and swallows a blush this time, taking a moment to recalibrate at that interruption to his whole spiel. “...okay, well, I’m not gonna spoil anything later on, just lemme get to right now—”

The star-doll looks almost smug as he chomps another stack. “Hellllll yeah they kiss later, don’t they.”

“Shoosh-shush. Yer throwin’ me off.” Swee shakes himself back on track as Willow chuckles. “So that guy, the one she’s pointing the gun at? That’s Gill T. He treated her like a queen, said he’d never do all the crap she went through, it looked like this was it, ‘tu eres mi unico amor,’ y’know?”

Willow nods, leaning in with interest. He doesn’t even point out how little Spanish he knows this time. “Uh-huh? But then she found him with that other lady anyways?”

“Worse than that, dude. That other lady was sent by him to kill her.”

“WHAT.”

“Right??”

He slumps back. Poor thing looks defeated, as if he was beginning to understand and it was all thrown off kilter. “Swee. Swee, what.”

“Look, just—I’ll go back to the beginning of the season,” the toad scrambles back to the counter, fiddling with the DVD menu. “And I’ll hit the subtitles, just. I can’t just tell you everything, you gotta watch it unfold, it’s fuckin’ crazy.”

“Aaaallright, okay.” Willow acquiesces, watching the opening credits play out as Swee frantically returns to his prep work, oops, oops, oops—

“...Swee?”

“Yeah?” Chop chop chop.

“You said you feel for Hayce T., yeah?”

“Uh-huh.” 

“...are you looking for true love, too?”

CHOP. “—AAGGHH. FUCK.”

“Swee???”

In a whirling blur, the toad chef is back at the kitchen island, his hand nestled in a bloodied cloth. Spanish voices fade into the background as he watches Willow tend to the lengthy cut along the top, releasing a sappy healing salve from a digit in his finger and dragging it along the wound. 

Swee’s head is positively buzzing. He almost misses when Willow sighs, “There. Geez. Not as bad as it looked, but still.”

“Thanks. Ugh.”

Aw hell. Now Willow looks away, ashamed, like this whole thing was his fault. Because of course he thinks that. “...Sorry.”

“Shush.” Swee clears his throat, and answers his question. “...yeah, kinda. I mean, I’ve been looking.”

Willow pensively watches him as he continues, “I thought I found it, a few times. A relationship here, a fling or two there…or five.” He cringes at himself. “...when you’re traveling a lot, there’s not any time for much else.”

He feels the gaze of the resplendent star in front of him, and he laughs mirthlessly. “Guess I’ve got that Hayce T. run of luck.”

The silence that follows is thick as molasses, and Swee wants to sink into the earth and vanish— “Well…” Willow’s voice, weedy with nerves, cuts through that spiraling thought, and Swee is greeted with a lopsided grin. “If anyone sends their assassin affair partner to kill you, you at least got me to protect you?”

Oh my god. Willow ventures a small shrug. Oh my god.

A thousand emotions crash into Swee and smash through his walls, and he breaks down laughing. Willow joins him shortly, and they both slump on the table in actual mirth as the telenovela plays above them, the tormented lovers onscreen ignorant of the actual goddamn romance happening here in Swee’s goddamn kitchen.

“Then my luck’s already better.”

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #242

What feeling do you have the most difficult in expressing? Jealousy. It's not something I experience often, and I think because it's rare, I have NO idea how to handle it.

Do you make your bed everyday? Why/why not? Only roughly. I just straighten the cover a bit.

Does any particular season make you happier than others? Why/why not? Autumn. I just love this time of year.

Do you give money to homeless people/beggars? Why/why not? No because I literally HAVE no money. I do not own a dollar. I'm also very afraid of people, but if there ever is a time I finally have my own income, I would like to. My mom is the friendliest person to homeless people that I know and she inspires me a lot.

What do you feel is your number one flaw? Are you doing anything about it? When it boils down to it... maybe that I have zero faith in myself and my abilities. That causes a lot of problems in my life. And I mean yeah, I'm in therapy and I've worked very hard on being kinder to myself and just trying to learn to believe in me.

Do you see yourself as worthy of love? Why/why not? I... struggle with this. I'm working on it.

Do you think you are competitive? Do you really dislike losing? No, and I really don't vibe with competitive-ass people. Everyone wins some, everyone loses some. That's the way of life. My mama raised me to believe everyone has their turn.

On which topics do you feel qualified at giving advice? I dunno. I'm too self-doubtful for this.

Will you be single over winter? I don't see the future. I wouldn't think so though, Girt and I are doing great.

Do you add random questions into surveys when you take them? No. I only ever delete some for a variety of reasons.

Would you get married if you could right now? I'd prefer not to right now.

Do you consider yourself spoiled? It depends. I am REMARKABLY lucky that my mom still takes care of me when I'm pushing 30; she understands that I'm a mentally ill person with a lot of struggling points and is being a true mother in never giving up on me. She does what she can, but I'm going to take the phrasing the last person used: I don't think I'm spoiled in a bratty sort of way. I don't get everything I want and stuff. I'm just very lucky to have a mom who didn't kick her chick out of the nest before she was ready.

Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? I do.

Have you ever slept on a couch with that person? Not a couch, no. I'm a big person, we ain't gonna be comfortable enough to sleep cuddling on a couch lol. Or rather, I wouldn't be, no way in hell. I already struggle to sleep in bed.

Have you written a letter to a soldier? Not that I remember. I suppose it's possible from elementary school, but I don't remember it.

Where are the majority of your clothes from? Probably Walmart.

Does being in love make you nervous? Yes, because I've been hurt so badly by love before.

Would you do your own surgery to keep yourself alive? (ex. stitches) I have no idea. I would have to be in this situation to know.

Have you ever had any really infected injuries? I've had two infected piercings and those sucked. The cyst I had got BADLY infected, that was hell on fucking earth.

Is racism for losers? It sure fucking is hunny!!!!!!!

Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No, not even Ozzy or Rammstein.

Are you popular on any websites? No.

Have you ever cussed/swore in front of younger children? Accidentally, yes. I try not to do this in respect to however their parents are raising them. Most don't want their kids hearing words like that.

Will you go to your high school reunion? No. I have no desire to go back there.

If you could meet one famous person, who would it be? Markiplier, probably. I'd love to hear some motivational talk from him.

Do you hate it when people look over your shoulder? Dude it doesn't matter WHAT I'm doing, how innocent it is, don't fucking do this, it makes me insanely uncomfortable.

Would you consider yourself hypocritical? Everyone is a hypocrite to some degree, I think everyone knows that.

Do you know anyone who had had a heart attack under 30 years of age? I don't believe so.

Are you considered popular at school? I wasn't.

If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? Ugh fuck this question, it makes me think of my worst fucking fear in the world, being homeless and having to live like this. If I was LITERALLY STARVING, I'm sure I'd probably eventually look, because it's that or fucking die. I mean, look at the food we sometimes throw away, it's oftentimes fine, we're just being picky. I would never do this if I wasn't in this exact situation though.

When you last watched a movie, did you watch it alone or with someone? With someone. I never watch movies alone.

Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? No bullshit, I wouldn't work somewhere that didn't. Get with the fuckin' times.

Ever had a caricature done of yourself? How much was it, and were you satisfied with it? No.

Do you like peanut butter and fluff sandwiches? I haven't tried this since I was a child, but I remember I didn't as a kid because the texture bothered me.

Ever been to Gaia Online? Do you have an account? No, I've only heard of it.

If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? I don't know.

Would you ever enlist in the army? I'd rather diiiiiiieeeeeee <3

Last time you were at a job interview? How did it go? Maybe like... 2019. I got the job. Didn't last long.

What’s one place you’d NEVER want to work at? I would never, EVER work in food, especially fast food. Hungry people are fucking mean. I also write super slow so would write down orders too slowly but more importantly than that, my memory is actual garbage and I KNOW I'd often fuck up, and that pisses people off.

Do you use Tumblr? What do you normally post? Yes, my main blog focuses on Rammstein.

Did you tease freshmen in high school? No, because I found it remarkably immature. Like, you were once a freshman too and didn't want to be picked on.

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? Nope, that's farther than I've ever traveled.

Do you like Taylor Swift? I don't like any billionaire, thanks.

What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? Disney Channel movie? I dunno.

Do you ever have to do yard work? No.

Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? Yes.

Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? For both, male.

Do you prefer group or individual work? Individual. I fucking dreaded group work when I was in school. Thankfully most of my teachers trusted me to work alone.

Do you have a key to anything besides your house? No.

Have you ever been to any sort of convention? I went to the country's most popular NARBC with Sara.

Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom.

Last thing that pissed you off? Seeing a video of pet meerkats. I struggle to understand why it's legal in some countries.

What about kids on leashes? What do you think about that? People overreact immensely to this. Like what, would you rather your kid be snatched? Or have them wander off? "Well teach them to stay by you!" That doesn't always work. What about kids with mental issues that are more inclined to wander and stuff? I'd rather your kids be safe.

New tats in your near future? How about piercings or re-piercings? Tattoos, no, not in the near future. I want loads more, but they're not a priority right now for whenever I am gifted money. Perhaps I'll get my nose repierced for Christmas, but I don't know.

Would you ever visit a psychic medium? If you would, what would you wanna know? I don't fuck with scam artists.

What’s something you have a very strong opinion about? Abortion rights, to name one thing. I have a lot of very strong opinions.

Are you family-orientated in everything you do? No.

Do others consider you to be stuck up? I can't see how anyone would think that.

Would you often call yourself a moody person? I know I am.

Are you self-sufficient? Honestly, no.

Sleep position? Side or stomach. I physically cannot sleep on my back.

Who is your best friend? My boyfriend.

Do you have an online best friend as well? My closest online friends are Tez and Mazzy.

Who is your favorite person to spend time with? My boyfriend.

Have you ever had tendinitis? No.

Do you know how to grill a steak? Sure don't.

Do you mosh when you go to concerts/shows? I never have and wouldn't. Mosh pits scare me.

When’s the last time you went to a nightclub? Never been to one, don't want to.

Are you good at playing darts? I wouldn't really know, but considering I'm really uncoordinated, most likely not.

Are “school friends” and friends different to you? Yes. They can overlap, but not all "school friends" are true friends, y'know?

Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? Love 'em.

Ever been friends with someone you didn’t expect? Yes.

The last time you kissed someone, were your arms around their neck? No.

Have you had any form of exercise today? No.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? Yes.

Your first dog? I was born into the family with a collie named Trigger, but I have no memories of her, she died when I was young. Who *I* consider to be our first dog was Angel, because I remember her. She died of parvo when young, though. She got quite unlucky, she also had her leg run over by a car... Don't ask me why she was outside unleashed.

Is it easy for you to pretend everything’s okay? No.

Do you prefer mint, citrus, or cinnamon toothpaste? Mint.

What’s your favorite color out of these five: Green, Yellow, Blue, or Purple? Purple.

Have you done anything sneaky lately? No.

Do you keep notes, drawings or letters that people give you? Yes, I have a box for that.

Have you had a significant other that you never kissed? I've dated people I've never kissed. "Significant other" sounds more serious.

Do you depend on people at all, in any way? Quite a lot. I've already sorta covered how much I depend on my mom. I live with her, don't work, don't have some other stream of income. I don't drive because I panic behind the wheel and it makes me unsafe.

Have you written or drawn anything for somebody else? Yes to both, many times.

Do you have any pictures of yourself with the person you like? A few, but not many. Neither of us are picture people.

[itsclydebitches]

By all means, go off about The Blacklist. What's it about? 👀

Bless you, anon, for indulging my current obsessions :D

OKAY so the premise is great imo. Elizabeth “Liz” Keen’s life is basically perfect. She’s married to a handsome, adoring, successful teacher. They’re very near to finishing the process of adopting their first child. Best of all, Liz is beginning her career as an FBI profiler. Today’s her first day on the job and, other than being a little late rolling out of bed, it’s going to be great!

Except for one teeny, tiny snag. An hour or so before she’s due in the office, Raymond “Red” Reddington, #1 on the FBI’s Most Wanted list, turns himself in. He offers himself up as the FBI’s informant, specifically feeding them info on what he refers to as the blacklist: a list of criminals so heinous, secretive, and downright dangerous that the FBI doesn’t even know they exist, let alone how to catch them. Red will serve up his fellow fugitives on a silver platter. The catch?

He'll only work with Liz.

So the FBI is like, “Why the fuck is the ‘concierge of crime’ interested in a newbie profiler who hasn’t even made it into work yet?” and Liz is also like, “Wtf, I don’t know him, why would Reddington be interested in me?” It’s the mystery at the heart of the whole show, interspersed among the stand-alone episodes where they go after blacklisters: who is Liz to Red? Because he is very protective of her. Accommodating. Downright adoring—or perhaps obsessive. But really, Spader is fantastic in the role and keeps things on the side of charmingly sweet (in a ‘I’ll kill huge swaths of people for you :)’ kinda way) as opposed to creepy, which I really like. Honestly, a good 75% of the show's appeal for me is in Red's characterization and Spader's performance.

The point though is that everyone wants to know why such a powerful, immoral man would go out of his way to not just work with Liz, but bend/break every rule he’s ever made—tear apart years of self-serving contingency plans—just to keep her safe. I mean, the whole thing starts with Red turning himself in, risking disappearing into some dark FBI hole, just for the chance to see her.

So is he in love with her? (Lizzington is a popular ship, despite—or perhaps in part because of—the May/December dynamic and frankly the show does a lot to feed that possibility. It's never going to be canon, but fans aren't just pulling this ship out of thin air either. Trust me. I went in expecting it to just be fans being fans and... it's not. It's really not.) Is he her father? (And now we see why lizzington is controversial lol.) Is he manipulating Liz? Are the two of them in on something together? Theories abound, with each season providing new clues and revelations, nine seasons so far in total… so you can see where I’m going with this. Frankly, it doesn’t add up. I knew as soon as I understood the premise and caught wind of the show’s length that there would be no satisfying resolution. You don’t pose a singular question like that and dole out supposed answers each season without eventually retconning the hell out of previous episodes, or dropping previously important reveals, or just plain making stuff up for the sake of drama rather than logic. It’s inevitable in a form with so many fingers in the writing pie and, having been spoiled for the later seasons, I know that this isn’t magically fixed along the way.

So that’s a definite flaw in the show, though one I fully expected and thus am pretty indifferent to. The far bigger issue I have is that, as said in my tag rant, poor Liz is barely allowed to be a character anymore. She’s treated as a plot device, with her emotions serving whatever the current conflict is, rather than occurring as a result of her experiences. As you can imagine, Liz has some complicated feelings about Red, but they’re far from logical or consistent. I’m not joking when I say that she’ll despise him at the start of one episode, be hugging him by the end, and then be back to wanting him cut from her life at the start of the next episode with no explanation as to why this change occurred. Much like RWBY, the viewer is forced to decide for themselves why Liz is constantly on an emotional roller coaster that defies gravity and though yes, there are PLENTY of potential explanations in the show—I think this woman has been through enough to have earned a blanket ‘You think she’s emotionally stable??’ justification—but from a writing perspective it’s less than satisfying to continually do the writer’s work for them. In some episodes things won't stay consistent between scenes and I want to kick down the responsible party's door to ask what the actual hell they were thinking.

It's the kind of show with a few key, GLARING problems and if you’re hoping for something tightly written that will neatly wrap up all your questions and presumed inconsistencies with a pretty bow… keep waiting. But I’m used to shows like that—it happens with most long-form action stories, frankly, especially if they’ve got a core mystery like Blacklist—so I’ve learned to prioritize other aspects. Like the cast of characters? Top notch. Liz and Red’s dynamic is obviously the heart of the show and as much as I prefer them getting along, Liz’s cyclical anger is compelling too, in large part because Red remains completely devoted to her, no matter what she throws at him or how badly she treats him. Not to overshare on main, but I cannot possibly emphasize enough what a sucker I am for a sophisticated bad guy who would burn the world for his loved one even when she hates him. Actually, especially when she hates him because oh no, no one can hate him more than he already hates himself.

We’ve got Dembe, Red’s right-hand man and all around badass with a marshmallow center. Ressler who I’m usually pretty meh about because he’s the boring by-the-book cop, but every once in a while he pulls some chaotic move out of left field that makes me cheer. Samar who is even more of a badass than Dembe and that’s REALLY saying something. Aram, easily one of my favorite quirky tech characters of all time: literal ball of sunshine who will nevertheless cut you if you threaten his found family. Their boss, Cooper, who seems like a hardass but ultimately treats his team like his kids (letting them get away with shit included). Tom, Liz’s husband, who is… complicated. Mr. Kaplan who you just need to watch to fully appreciate. The cast is A+

Which means I’m watching the stupidest plot-line man ever devised, or a character suddenly did a 180 with no explanation, and yeah that makes the meta-writing part of my brain seethe and bite her imaginary pillow to muffle screams of rage… but then the characters have A Moment™, or there’s an actually well done twist, or we get an action sequence that yeah, is pretty silly when all is said and done, but it’s fun and I remember why I want to watch this show through to the end. Not because I think the big mystery will have a satisfying conclusion and not even because I like a lot of the major plot-lines coming up (I don’t) but because I still like the characters and so long as they’re interacting together in interesting ways, I’ll keep tuning in.

Particularly when it comes to Liz and Red. For however badly their relationship is written at times, the underlying dynamic itself remains stellar: successful FBI agent vs. renowned criminal. Poetic charmer vs. down-to-earth realist. Answers vs. questions. Is she making him better? Is he making her worse? What are they to each other and, even if the show did define that clearly on some level, can it really be answered so easily? I don’t think so. The fact that some days my brain goes, “God they have such a good father-daughter-esque relationship” and other days it’s going, “I ship it 👀” and other days it’s just, “You two need to stay FAR AWAY from each other. I mean, I’m digging the dysfunction, but if you were real people holy shit” just speaks to the complexity here. As frustrating as it can be, the messiness is kinda fun too? They’re compelling and they make my brain go brrrr with possibilities and sometimes that’s all you need in a show!

At least for the first three seasons. Lets see how I feel after 3 times that lol

Thus ends my 1k+, mostly non-spoilery Blacklist ramble ✌️

[slytherbun]

wildflower

pairing: cedric diggory x hufflepuff!reader

summary: you weren't too sure what to think when a new eye candy transfers to hogwarts and becomes the new seeker of the hufflepuff's quidditch team but you realize in time that he is all of what you hoped for.

word count: 3.7k

tags: @specialagentsoftie

note: so this is all just a bunch fluff. i'm not sure how i feel about it in terms of cringey and hope y'all like it! figured i'd post this anyways either way though lol. i made up the way reader and cedric met at hogwarts so, it's non-canon from the movie.

another note: italics are flashbacks! :)

it was cold.

you could see everybody’s breath in the air outside and knew it was a crime to be out and about now with freezing and chilly weather.

the snow outside coated the ground by inches and the black coats zippered up and wrapped around you only helped so much. you were the type to freeze easily and the climate at hogwarts didn't help your situation at all.

minutes ago before you walked outside, you knocked on the door to his dorm after surveying the hufflepuff’s common room and noticed there weren't very many people around. and when cedric opened the door after you rapped on it a few times—he took in the view of your body wrapped around your blanket before pulling you into his room.

pathetically enough, you were shivering in the halls even with your mitten covered hands stuffed in the pockets of your coat. you weren't about to admit the doubled up socks on each of your feet either underneath the knee-length boots you wore today.

"are you cold?" cedric successfully taunted you when you reached your arm out of the pocket of your jacket and then under the blanket to slap his arm. he hissed and glared your way playfully while rubbing his arm dramatically.

you shrugged with a smirk on your lips and he plopped down onto his soft bed. “don’t get too comfortable.” he suggested when noticing you trying to sneakily get underneath his covers. 

“what i’d do for one of those thermal blankets the muggles use.” you sighed dreamingly while watching him walk towards his closet.

“imagine having a postal company deliver the package to hogwarts? dumbledore would have an aneurysm.” cedric replied and you couldn’t help yourself when imagining the scenario playing out in your mind. 

he turned to the side to admire your smile while you were a little distracted while pulling out a coat. then he closed the closet up and walked back over, holding it in your direction to offer an extra to put over your body. you gladly took it with a smile. "thanks ced."

cedric backed up a few steps and brushed a hand through his brunette hair. not being able to help himself he joked, “can’t have you walking around with your blanket wrapped around you. your height already makes you look so adorable.”

you got off from the bed when he exaggerated with your blanket in hand and scoffed. cedric bit his lip nervously while continuing to back up before he felt the wall pressed against him.

he rubbed the back of his nervously while you held the blanket up to his height and above your own head. “i’m just kidding.” he gulped before you took it and put it over his face.

when he tugged it down from his face he spotted you innocently standing by the door with his jacket around you. “i was going to leave it here anyway. just put it on the bed and i’ll come get it later after we get back.”

while you zippered it up you noticed this particular jacket was the one that you often saw him wearing before he ended up buying a new one for the upcoming winter that you were suffering in now.

and it was longer than the one you had previously put on about twenty minutes ago so, you couldn't argue with him on that steal.

"alright.” he laughed and added with a more serious tone. “oh and by the way—you don't need to thank me. you're my best friend, wildflower."

today was the first quidditch match of the season and you were sitting at the edge of your seat in anticipation. the hufflepuffs didn't score well last season and you were hoping they wouldn't come out with last place again for the year.

y/g/b/f (your girl best friend) sat down on the stands next to you with an umbrella in her hands. you turned and looked at it with a confused face. but she just smiled at your contemplating thoughts and looked up at the sky once before supplying you with an answer.

“well it looks bright now but i have a feeling it’ll rain later.” she always had a suspicion for when it was going to rain or snow and you never second guessed her because every single time she was right.

“did you know we’re having a new seeker play on the team today? i believe he’s going to be captain too if he plays his cards right this game.” she asked. you didn’t know that.

“wait is he the new guy everybody is talking about? i heard the rumors but you know how they are. i didn’t want to take it seriously until i saw it with my own eyes.” you stated and she nodded. 

“yeah he’s a transfer i think but i’m not too sure. his name is cedric diggory though.” after her reply, you glanced around the stands to see if anybody had diggory signs for the game but with no avail you sighed. before you could respond you felt a few droplets on your shoulder. 

your friend gave you a smart-ass grin and popped out the umbrella to hold it over the both of you. “guess we’ll see how good he is.” you mumbled before seeing the players come up to the playing area with their brooms.

butterbeer was pretty popular during the winter season. many students from school usually went and got some to help regulate their body temperature and keep warm.

everybody else must have gotten the same memo because you were inside the three broomsticks now for some butterbeer and it was crowded.

almost every table was filled with peers and that’s probably why you didn’t see many people in the school. with just one glance around the area, you could already tell the divided area’s of where each school was seated right away. 

your tables were to the left area, the slytherins must have come earlier because they grabbed the back ones, some of the ravenclaw’s were off to the right, while harry and the other gryffindor’s had the middle area.

cedric nudged your side to grab your attention and nodded towards the hufflepuff area. “want to grab us some seats and i’ll get the drinks?” he asked and you nodded. “sure, could you get me a snack too if you don’t mind?” 

he smiled and tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “i suppose i could.” cedric walked away with a wink and you shook your head knowing he was just humoring you.

little did you know he already had planned to get you something else even before the two of you left the dorms. it had gotten to the point where asking him for little things hadn’t bothered you because you reciprocated all of the time.

but sometimes cedric would give you little excuses when it was your turn to pay, just so he could end up paying for whatever you guys were having or getting. he always spoiled you.

"ah the golden girl is here." hermione scoffed and watched you walk towards the hufflepuff area. your other best friend was seated already and started talking to you when you sat.

the brunette from the red colored house didn't particularly dislike you since you were always nice. sometimes you chatted with her while working on a project that you were paired for. then other times you gave her a soft smile when catching her eye while walking in the halls towards your next class.

she definitely couldn’t help but respect and admire you.

but the reason she didn’t put herself out there and try to befriend you was because you were one of the girls known in school for your smartness, quick reflexes, and witty attitude. 

when people from school talked about you and referred to you as the golden girl instead of your name most of the time—it wasn’t that you were golden per-say but the fact that it matched up perfectly with the school’s color that you sorted it.

hufflepuff was known for its represented yellow color.

and there’s no doubt about it that hermione was also known around the school. but, she felt it was for all of the wrong reasons. despite not having it any other way as one of harry's best friends, she wondered if not for him that in an alternate lifetime that she would be you. 

“why is she wearing cedrics jacket?” ron asked after following hermione’s stare. harry thumped him on the back of his head and then shook his own. “why does it matter?” the one with a thunderbolt on his forehead replied.

“well it is interesting, isn’t it?” the brunette said in defense of ron’s question. the one who didn’t seem curious at all took a sip of the butterbeer in front of him.

he licked his lips, thinking then replied to them with a response. “i mean it’s not our business but it is an odd find now that you pointed it out. maybe he’s just being friendly?”

“as if! cedric has had a crush on y/n since he met her. she’s just oblivious to it all,” she paused and tapped her chin. “—or is she?” ron gasped at her accusation but took a sip of his own drink before she could hear his outburst.

harry noticed her getting riled up once again and sighed. “well i don’t know what else to say. maybe you should just introduce yourself already and ask her instead of me.” he shrugged and hoped to end the conversation there.

you knew exactly who cedric diggory was when he swiftly passed by the hufflepuff area during the game. of course, he was wearing yellow. 

the game has been going on for a decent amount of time now and he was stacking up the scores on the quidditch board—easily passing by the score of the gryffindor’s team.

cedric was undoubtedly the new eye candy for the whole school with the gasps and ‘awes’ from the other girls sitting in the stand. your friend was so busy watching harry that she didn’t catch the commotion.

you didn’t really pay attention to him to get a good glance at his face so, you thought he was just another arrogant rich boy and rolled your eyes.

what you didn’t notice was the way it was like a slow-motion love at first sight situation for him when he went by. since it stopped raining through the middle of the game he was able to catch a quick view of you. 

the week wasn’t done yet so it was possible he’d be seeing more of you in another class he hadn’t had yet. and cedric hoped you were because he couldn’t help but look over in your direction throughout the game to catch another glimpse of your face.

it was still humid outside and you tried wiping your makeup a few minutes ago since it was under your eyes now, but you only smudged it further. your robe was drenched with your wavy and half-dried hair now lying down the back of it. 

but he didn’t care what you thought about yourself because he knew without a doubt that you were the prettiest girl there.

“cedric’s looking pretty good today.” y/g/b/f voiced for the first time today. you played with the napkin in your hand while trying to get a glimpse of cedric. 

“i don’t think you would know even if he was—since you spend all your time looking at harry.” cedric was up to the counter now waiting for your butterbeer and food.

“uh huh. don’t think i haven’t admired cedric before from afar though.” after a moment of not answering her, y/g/b/f noticed that you weren’t paying attention. you knew exactly what she was hinting towards.

cedric did look good.

his hair had that ‘just woken up’ style to it and he always managed to look even more attractive then he should have. the yellow scarf wrapped around his neck was the one that came with every hufflepuff’s supplied uniform clothing.

he usually wore it when you sat with him in potions on a chilly morning and you caught yourself wanting to take it off of him and wear it sometimes.

he always smelled good and it comforted you in ways a best friend shouldn’t have the ability to.

you seemed to have let your guard down and stared longer then you should have which confirmed what y/g/b/f already knew. “i knew it!” she chuckled and stated more loudly than the last comment to snap you out of the zoned out state you were in. 

“know what?” you asked while placing the napkin back down on your table.

cedric was reaching the table and you wanted the conversation to end quickly. you usually dragged out conversation topics like this so you had time to think of another one to distract her with. but, she always found a way to circle it back around again. 

you had to shut it down before he could hear, already knowing exactly what she wanted to talk about again.

“i’ll tell you later before our curfew.” y/g/b/f smirked and you sighed knowing she would in fact take the time out of her night to find you before bed. lucky you.

“hey y/g/b/f. how has your day been?” he asked your other friend while sitting down and placing your refreshments in front of you and then doing the same with his. 

she grinned at you then glanced over at him, “pretty good i guess if it wasn’t for this weather i would say great. how about you? and how’d you manage to get this one out?” she gestured towards you, causing you to roll your eyes. 

here we go again.

you were walking down the path back to the hogwarts dorms with y/g/b/f and some others. there was going to be a small celebration in the hufflepuff’s common room and other students were trying to hurry back without raising suspicions with any professors nearby.

“hey, i’ll be right back y/n/n. i see luna and i’m going to go ask her if she has a hair tie.” she said and pointed to the curly knots that she had on her shoulders.

you nodded and continued along the path while she walked over to the other side. it was quiet for a moment and you surveyed the peaceful area, a few feet over in the grass was a small patch of flowers.

you were about to take a quick look at them before feeling someone tap your shoulder. it was sudden and you couldn’t help but quickly move to the side and form a fist. you were about to throw it but stopped when you stared wide-eyed at the person who scared you.

cedric felt awful and only after he startled you did he realize that you were looking off in the distance of the area. the way you jumped though seemed that you were quick on your feet and he couldn’t help but smirk at the new name he had for you. 

“hey i’m sorry for startling you wildflower but i just wanted to introduce myself. i’m cedric diggory.” he introduced with a panty-dropping smile.

you weren’t sure if it was some kind of joke so you treaded carefully. “uh it’s okay, it’s my fault really for not paying attention but i’m y/n y/l/n. nice to meet you ced.”

cedric held out his hand for you to shake and you took it, giving him a firm shake. after you let go he smirked and questioned. “ced, huh?”

he crouched down to pick up a flower that you were looking at earlier and it reminded you to ask, “wildflower, huh?” you met his statement equally and folded your arms together so they were across your chest to look more tough.

his cheeks tinted a minor shade of pink and tried to hide his embarrassment by ducking down and ignoring your question. instead he glanced back up to tuck a hair behind your ear and then placed the flower there.

“yes, wildflower.” 

and how could you argue with him when he was being so sweet?

the two of you made it back to the common room after an hour of eating, then chatting with cedric and your other best friend. he was sitting on the bed with you sitting next to him.

you’ve been sitting for only about a minute or so—only enough time to shrug off your jackets and place them on the desk chair between that time after walking back to his dorm.

“would you like to lay down for a few minutes?” cedric asked when he noticed the tiredness shown clear as day on your face.

“sure” you agreed and you laid down while he shook your blanket out for the two of you to use. his eyebrows scrunched together when he realized it wouldn’t make much of a difference in comfort with how small it was.

you chuckled watching him trying to maneuver it around and he glanced your way with a smirk of defeat. “hmm, seems this blanket is a little small. would you like to go under the covers?”

cedric was giving into what you wanted earlier before the two of you left and he knew that too. the three broomsticks' food was delicious as always and you just wanted to relax for a few minutes after getting teased by your friend.

he grinned watching you get comfortable after the both of you were situated under the sheets and yellow comforter. there was a hufflepuff patch ironed onto it and you rubbed your thumb over it while laying down.

it wasn’t that awkward since you’ve fallen asleep in his arms a couple of times before already. class exams were frustrating and took a lot out of the students so he took comfort in you and vice versa when there was some down time during the weekends throughout the school year.

with an arm around you—he pulled you close to the point where you could feel his warm breath along your neck. “i don’t think you realize how much i treasure these moments y/n/n.”

he spoke breathlessly and you gulped slowly. you were dumbfounded with how seriously he said that. as if it had some kind of hidden meaning behind it. “me too.” you agreed and wondered if he would leave it at that.

but you knew better and cedric never left well alone when he wanted to get a point across. he turned your body slowly with the arm he had around your middle and you faced him with confusion.

he glanced down once before looking back up and continued on with his confession while staring into your doe eyes—a color he deemed his favorite the day that he met you.

“i’ve been fighting myself for a while on whether or not i should tell you this because i didn’t want my feelings to ruin our friendship. i’d rather be your friend than not be a part of your life at all. and i always look forward to seeing you e-everyday.” he paused when his voice cracked.

after cedric cleared his throat he continued, “and i totally understand if you don’t share the same feelings with me but i just couldn’t go on another day without telling you how i—” you cut him off by leaning in and brushing your lips against his.

he moved closer on the bed, so his skin was touching yours. cedric wanted to get as close to you as he possibly could. your hand swept through his brunette curls and you surprised him by tugging it.

he never knew what you were going to do and his friends teased him that you were a wildcard, to which he’d correct them and say you were his wildflower.

cedric smirked into the kiss and you groaned knowing he was being a smart-ass. but in return, he shocked you when he placed a hand delicately on your cheek to cup it rather softly.

he rubbed your cheek while your hand massaged his curls and then moved them downwards to the nape of his neck.

cedric pushed the hair back from your neck with his hand and then placed it back so his thumb splayed across on your cheek in a loving gesture. and you only wanted him closer after feeling sensitive about the whole astonishment that still had you stunned to the core.

you tugged the collar of his shirt and he pulled away with puffy, red lips and a smile. “what’s wrong?”

“i don’t know, i’m just emotional.” you voiced squeakily and full of embarrassment about it. cedric shook his head and before patting his chest, he held up the comforter over the both of you and let the minimal cold air in.

“oh, baby it’s okay. come here and let's cuddle a little before curfew.”

you bit the bottom of your lip and nodded, giving him a smile in return to the one he gave you and then crawled onto him. “i think i like baby better.” you voiced and laid on his chest with your head over his heartbeat.

he let go of the comforter when he noticed you were settled and tugged it firmly around both of your bodies. “better then what?” he asked.

“wildflower.” you admitted and hummed nervously while awaiting his response. you felt cedric shake his head and he put his arms around your body so you were pressed firmly against him before he kissed your forehead.

“you’ll always be my wildflower.” you closed your eyes after giving him a quick kiss on the cheek in response.

after a moment of laying back down you could feel his chest rising up and down in an odd pattern so, you put your head up to see him laughing again at you.

“what now?” you questioned trying to keep a serious facial expression but failing when he grinned.

“guess you got what you wanted, hmm?” cedric said—referring to the fact that you were finally under the comforters and you smirked.

“of course i always do. including finally getting you, ced.”

[booasaur]

Hey can you check out this new Netflix series called mismatched the second season mostly, it has a really lovely lesbian couple I would like to hear your opinion about them

Anon! I spent all of my free time yesterday bingeing the two seasons of this, lol, and I had never even heard of it before, so thank you!

But which couple is it that you like? I'm gonna first need to know which you mean, because I kind of have strong negative feelings about one of them! But could I be convinced... but I don't want to be!....?

I'm torn, I'm torn, because C (gonna try not to mention names and spoil things for people who haven't watched) does get SO much focus and both she and N are main characters, not leads, but like, pretty close to it, and they actually meet so very quickly, that's always a sign of writer commitment to me, how soon writers can get certain characters on screen and start their arc.

But the way she behaved at the end of s1, I'm still so mad. But then they really do delve into her internal conflict and and try to make her sympathetic and who in this show doesn't make mistakes, they're trying to get us be sympathetic for Simran and Krish... But C's mistake was SO huge and catastrophic, and the stuff she does is so hurtful and selfish, does it matter that she feels bad after? Well, yes, it does, and can I, a Quinn Fabray apologist, not forgive this...

But the thing is, A was just so much more fun and interesting... I liked A and N! And if there's no third season, that's where it ends, and I'm kind of happy to let them have their thing. :o

You tell me what you thought, anon! I probably wouldn't have been so quick to binge it but I've been in my desi media feels since Maja Ma. It's so interesting that I haven't heard "lesbian" in media in the past few years as much as I did in these two Indian works (excluding perhaps when people brought it up to say they weren't one). I don't know how much other people would enjoy it, I hear and acknowledge the criticisms, but it was interesting for me to see this very modern messy teen (well, college kids in this case) treatment of desi kids.

[mimi-cee-hq]

Laundry Days - Aran x f!reader

Summary: Three times you picked up his underwear and one time you missed doing it.

Genres, other tags: fluff, slice of life, humour, meet cute, domestic fluff, not suggestive lol, married under 25, neighbours to married lovers ;)

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: manga spoiler

This is for @neoheros & @coophi's 2021 Summer Haikyuu!! Writing contest. (Okay I'm pretty shy at first so it feels a little scary to tag you two but here's my piece.) I was going for the married under 25 prompt but ended up doing neighbours to lovers too. :D

Don't mind me spreading the underrated characters agenda as well. lol.

*****

A few articles of clothing spilled out of the dryer and onto your feet. Oops. Your neighbour must have forgotten them. You should've checked first.

Your own damp clothes sat inside the washing machine next to it, waiting for their turn to enter the dryer. It wasn't possible now.

You sighed, retrieving the phone from your pocket and scrolling until you saw the name of the neighbour who lived a floor below you.

Ojiro Aran.

You were sure this was the right person after a second look at your texting history. Who'd bring the garbage to the curb, where the lawnmower was kept, and keeping the duplex's stairway clear were some of the conversations you had with him.

You had yet to meet the guy, but he seemed amicable enough.

After shooting him a text, you thought to give him a call instead. Perhaps he'd think a phone call was strange. However, your clothes were damp and you shouldn't leave them for long. Was he even home?

You sighed. Crouched down, you returned the clothes on the floor back into the machine. A scarf, several socks, and a knit hat made their way back inside. But what was this?

Underwear. Men's underwear.

You scrunched your nose as you lifted it from the cold, tile floor. Was that a hole in it?

Click.

"Sorry I just saw your text!" a tall, dark-skinned man blurted out as soon as the door was unlocked.

"Oh! It's alright! I only texted you a few minutes ago!" you quickly explained, waving your hands in front of you.

You shouldn't have done that. The underwear was hanging from your hand.

"Ummm…" Aran scratched his cheek, eyes retreating from you.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry!" you spat out, tossing the incriminating object to him. "It just fell out of the dryer when I opened it so I went to pick it up!"

Once in his hands, he recognized it as the one with the seam coming undone. "I… umm… should probably have thrown this one out."

"Umm… yeah… you probably should." Those words slipped off your tongue before you could catch them.

"I- I guess I'll go now," Aran said hastily.

He shut the door.

You let out a breath. That was awkward. Heat continued to linger in your body and you weren't sure who was more embarrassed by the encounter.

Wait. His clothes were still in the dryer. Did you dare ask him back?

The door slowly creaked open and Aran peeked his head into the room.

"I forgot something, didn't I?" Aran sheepishly asked.

"Yeah." The corners of your mouth lifted into a smile. "Yeah, you did."

"I'm Aran by the way."

"Y/n."

You never thought this would be how you'd meet your future husband.

*****

The office chair in your apartment was a comfortable spot for folding clothes. The webcam caught your face as you chatted with Aran whose image filled the monitor.

You smiled. Your husband was winding down after a long day with the team and decided to check up on you.

"I'm alright," you told Aran. "I miss you though."

"I literally just saw you yesterday!" he said. "I miss you too."

After that fateful yet awkward encounter with him in that laundry room two years ago, you had run into each other more frequently at the front doors of your duplex. Your classes ended at similar times four out of your five school days. You were surprised he even started a conversation with you. You wouldn't have been able to bear the embarrassment. Fast forward to a confession, a kiss and a rock-embedded ring, and you got a small, snowy wedding during winter break.

It was back to the books for you now, and you dreaded it. Chores seemed much better, easier. Plus doing them for your newly-wedded husband? You got giddy about that.

You quirked your brow, lifting a familiar piece of clothing from the basket.

"Hey, I thought you threw this one out," you mentioned to Aran, dangling his underwear in front of the camera.

"I did! That's, uh, probably a different one."

"Just how old are these?"

"Hey! Wait a moment! Are you folding clothes?"

You avoided the eyes on the screen. "Maybe."

"You have your paper due in a few days! I told you I was going to do it after flying back home."

"I know…"

Aran's eyes narrowed at you, a trademark expression of his. "You're procrastinating again, aren't you?" His tone implied disapproval.

"But I'm still being productive!"

"Y/n…"

"Okay, okay. I'll stop." Your foot pushed the basket away, sliding it across the floor. Maybe you could fold them after you hung up.

Aran must have read your mind. "Show me what the laundry bin looks like."

You groaned. He saw right through you. Complying, you removed the clipped webcam off the monitor and directed it at the pile of unfolded clothes.

"It better be like that when I get home."

"Alright," you said with a pout.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

Must he stop you from doing chores? They were a simple reminder you were married to him, as if the gold on your finger wasn't enough to show you.

You were his wife.

A smile snuck into your lips whenever that thought crossed your mind. The honeymoon phase was a peculiar, strange, lovely stage.

Yet it was fleeting.

*****

You groaned as you stood in the middle of the bathroom. Aran's white track pants hung off the counter, the red t-shirt he got for free from first year college laid on top, and of course his underwear, which likely went through hundreds of washes, remained on the floor.

Great.

You rubbed your temples, your headache getting worse by the minute. It was Saturday morning, and Aran, who was nowhere to be seen, had left his mess behind.

I'll clean it up later, he would tell you. You knew his mother had spoiled him, always picking up after him. You understood why he was like this, but why couldn't he just start doing it now?

"Do you have this problem?" you asked your friend through your wireless headset.

"What problem?" she asked.

"Does your husband always leave laundry around on the floor?" You pinched the bridge of your nose. "Aran never picks up after himself."

She laughed. You weren't sure if it was because you were a young, amateur wife or if she understood all too well.

Knowing her, probably a bit of both.

"Okay two things."

You listened.

"One, don't say always or never. That's lying."

"I'm not lying," you snapped back at her. You began to regret asking her.

"Are you sure he never picks it up and always leaves it on the floor?"

You left no comment.

"Exactly."

"Okay fine, but that still doesn't solve the problem. If only he just did it, it would solve everything–"

"Number two," she interrupted.

You groaned at her and she gave an amused snort in return.

"If you weren't picking up his underwear, it means he's dead."

You were aghast.

"You know I'm right."

Still aghast.

"What? No husband, no mess."

"I can't believe I asked you for advice."

"But it's true."

"Ugh," was all you could utter. She had several years more of marriage experience than you, yet you didn't want to acknowledge it.

You hung up the phone after you finished deciding today's outing with her, but you hadn't addressed the issue in front of you. Your head throbbed again.

Sighing, you picked up the underwear.

A few minutes later, the front door opened and you dipped your head into the hallway. Aran shuffled grocery bags through the door and into the kitchen. He yawned, placing the milk, eggs, and other items into the fridge.

A familiar coffee brand peeked out of a bag on the floor. Right. You didn't have your coffee yet because there wasn't any left.

You wrapped your arms around Aran and relaxed against his broad back.

"I can't put the food away like this," he said with a chuckle.

"You left your clothes in the bathroom again."

"Oh shoot!" He dropped a bag and started towards the bathroom but you tightened your grip on him.

"I put them away already," you told him. His body relaxed and he caressed your arm around his waist.

The honeymoon phase was a fleeting phase, novel tasks turned mundane, but your love for him grew deeper still.

*****

Aran was away again, this time at Tokyo in preparation for the Olympics. He eagerly called you during breaks, wishing to see his favourite person – although your hands were full as well.

"I miss you," he told you, his smile displayed on the screen.

"And I miss picking up your underwear," you told him with a smirk.

Like clockwork, he narrowed his eyes at you with a comeback. "Why don't you say you miss me like a normal person?"

"Because I'm your wife. I'm special," you told him as he rolled his eyes. "I wish I could be there though."

"You wouldn't be able to spend that much time with me anyway," he said. "Besides, one of us needs to stay home."

"I know." You smiled.

"I gotta go," he said as Atsumu yelled in the background. Aran blew a kiss at you.

You snorted. How cheesy. You returned the kiss anyway.

Hearing a mischievous squeal behind you, you told him, "I gotta go too."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

After you hung up, you turned around and sighed. A soggy wet diaper sagged on the floor and the little guy jumping in the crib giggled at you as if he did the funniest thing in the world.

You rolled your eyes and smiled before picking up the diaper.

"Alright kid. Let's put a diaper back on you and wash your sheets."

*****

I hope you liked it. This is a little different from what I usually write but I hope you still enjoyed it!

I blame Aran's current concern for giving me this idea along with the person who suggested I write Aran fluff. (As well as the seasoned wife I know who told her husband, "If I wasn't picking up your underwear, it means you're dead." lolll.)

I hope you stick around my blog to check out my other works! My current work in progress is a fake dating Suna series. I can't believe we're on chapter 10!

If anyone is interested, I have a Google form for my taglist.

[starredforlife]

What is the love story between al/lupa? I think they’re super cute!

Omg thank you so much for asking 🥺🥺🥺 sorry if I don’t get to this ASAP I’m on a film set rn but lemme see if I can recap briefly- edit: i started writing this like two weeks ago, exited out of the ap, and now i have to rewrite it all oops lol

OKAY (under the readmore):

All the main five meet at the same time! In the beginning, Al’s a ghost and Lupa’s been living on her own for a while. They start out on somewhat rocky footing, with Al disapproving of a lot of what Lupa does and Lupa brushing Al’s opinions off. They view the world in such completely different ways that they have no choice but to clash tbh. Al is scared at how unbothered and rough Lupa is, and Lupa hates how much Al stresses responsibility and moral obligation. Of course, at their cores, Lupa is actually very hurt and alone and Al is (very badly) repressing like a million desires and emotions, one of those being an extremely frustrating and all-consuming crush on the werewolf girl.

I don’t know how much I want to spoil tbh but to try and condense it: They find some common ground and an affection for each other during the first season, bordering on potential romantic interest. Unfortunately, they’re separated rather traumatically. Lupa believes Al has died (for good this time), and Al leaves Lupa convincing herself that it’s best she not know the truth. They find other about 6 months later (second season), each having “moved on” (hint: not really). There’s a lot of pent-up resentment for a while, along with some genuine efforts at friendship, but it feels like it’ll never be the right moment, so they’re stuck in this kind of settled state. It’s not until Lupa breaks up with Buster that her own feelings for Al sneak up and like. fuckin sucker punch her. Al still has her own yearning, but she’s matured to the point where being around Lupa doesn’t make her feel like she’s about to have a nervous breakdown at any given second. this time around, it’s Lupa’s hot mess summer. and idrk how to surmise the third season because both of them are really just playing a stomach-lurching game of tug o war, where they feel so much for the other it makes them sick, but they also try to avoid it, but they also know they’d do anything for each other, and maybe it’s best to leave it at that?

so like, duh, they sleep with each other bc they’re both 20-somethings and painfully in love. and then they swear they won’t do it again, and of course that’s impossible. it’s a case of “this is a very bad idea. i love you too much to do this to you.” and then immediately breaking that promise. through this they’re also carrying each other through fights with a terrifying wannabe god (villain of s3), and their own individual struggles with monsterhood.

the thing that solidifies their bond is simply the fact that they can, throughout it all, be themselves with each other. when they’re together it feels like they actually exist as people in that moment, and no part of them is denied. they allow each other rage and grief and hate and all the nasty stuff; there’s a total understanding between them. it’s a little addictive to be so unashamed, essentially. so they do get together, after these years of change and tumult and hard-wrought argument ironed into genuine friendship and a sort of roaring, aching care for the other. in the end, it’s still Al and Lupa, annoying the shit out of each other, but they wouldn’t want it with anyone else.

you know the poem about the tiger that breaks from the cage? do you know what it means to want to be another person just hold them from the inside? like how death doesn’t stop us from loving other people, but in fact makes it possible to love this way in the first place. that’s the relationship between al and lupa. anyways i like them a lot here’s their playlist goodbye <3

[uservillanelle]

Killing Eve ― 4x01 (Review)

“It’s been two years since S3 and my last review. At first I wasn’t sure whether I would continue writing these, but since it’s the last season I thought ― why not? Then again, I’m mostly writing these for myself and adding all of my chaotic thoughts in one place, so if any of you feel like reading these, enjoy!

The Opening Sequence

I think almost everyone thought that the person on the bike was Villanelle, I probably would’ve too, if I didn’t get spoiled in stan twitter lol. The whole riding the bike scene is such a nice parallel to Villanelle’s scene in the pilot episode. That only reminds me how many moments like these exist in the show. The question here is: how many of them are intentional? I’ll go ahead and say that this one was. I wouldn’t be surprised if they used the same bike for both scenes since it looks pretty much identical lol. 

If you really pay attention it’s easy to spot the differences in Eve’s body language as soon as she gets off the bike. The fact that she pulled out her pistol, which was not necessary(?), and started pointing it towards everyone she saw in that building shows the level of recklessness and boldness she acquired during these past few months. And yeah, let me quote 1x07 Eve by adding: “the way she walks”, because there is a completely different flair to it.

Eve & Konstantin

“You’re head of town” really now? Didn’t Konstantin plan to go to Cuba for like second half of S3? As much as we knew at the time, was that he was in huge trouble with the twelve for stealing money, Carolyn almost killed him and let’s just say it was perfect time for him to lay low somewhere. So him becoming a mayor of some Russian town/city paints a whole different picture. 

Seeing Konstantin’s reaction to someone coming to kill him still sends me lmao. Him rolling his eyes and heavy sigh says it all. He isn’t one bit surprised. However, what does surprise him, and most of us, is that it’s Eve. The problem with the premiere episodes? Is the fact that a bunch of BTS photos were leaked during filming and most of us saw Konstantin with his bandaged hand and the trailer basically revealed that it’s Eve who shot him, so I kind of was waiting for that to happen. 

Eve was pretty pissed of the last we saw her, and rightfully so, since Konstantin indirectly got Kenny killed and yet Carolyn allowed him to escape. So this time Eve made sure to take her revenge by shooting him. In the hand. *inserts Eve’s weak threat to shoot Konstantin in the leg from 1x08*

It’s interesting how Konstantin kept insisting he doesn’t know anything about Helene or where she was. Yet he did know about Rhian and the way Villanelle killed her. They are all so shady, I wouldn’t be surprised if Konstantin knew more than he was letting on, but in this case he gave Eve enough to spare his life. For now. 

“You shot me in my hand”; “Oh get over it!” ― if that ain’t peak comedy, I don’t know what is lol. Again, another parallel to Villanelle shooting Konstantin and him bringing it up only to hear Villanelle shout “When will you get over that?” As if it was nothing more than a scratch lmao. 

“She looks French, okay?” ― of course that’s enough of a description for our Hot French MILF™. 

“If you want to find Helene, why not just ask Villanelle?” ― this could only mean that Konstantin still thinks Villanelle works for the twelve, despite her repeatedly telling him last season that she wants out. Makes me wonder if he thinks that the reason she decided not to leave with him is because she wanted to keep working for the twelve? Clearly they have a lot to catch up. Now, Eve coming there to interrogate him was enough for him to draw a conclusion that she and Villanelle are not talking to each other. Which should be more than enough to let us know that something happened between them. In fact, Eve is so determined to avoid Villanelle that she’d rather hunt down Konstantin in RUSSIA, than call/text Villanelle about Helene. Yup, both Villanelle and Eve have each other’s numbers since S1 and neither of them actually used it. *sighs* gays. 

“Whatever this is, you won’t come out of it”; “Thank God” ― so that’s it, then? Eve fully made up her mind that this ‘revenge mission’ will cost her her life? I mean she has lost everyone, except Villanelle, who hasn’t been around for a long time, so in a sense she has nothing to lose. Then again, she did say back in 3x08 that whenever she images her future she sees Villanelle’s face. Perhaps she no longer imagines the future? Because deep down she knows it’s not possible for her? That she’s too far gone? 

Villanelle

♪ You made a believer out of me ♪ ― oh pleease, if that ain’t Villanelle indirectly referring to Eve lmao. I LOVE how everything ties them together, no matter what they are doing. It’s like the universe keeps sending signs left and right that they are soulmates and that they can’t live without one another. 

Right from the get go it’s apparent that Barbara and Vicar aren’t too fond of “Nelle”. Do they really see through Villanelle’s act, since no one can be that perfect? Guess Villanelle is trying too hard to the point where it started feeling unnatural, too good to be true. “I don’t know how you can be so good all the time” ― poor May is still innocent and naive to spot that. For now. “I don’t have any other choice” ― you mean, this is the only way Eve will notice you again, since you’ve changed, Villanelle? This shows just how much her mother and Helene calling her a monster affected her. The point is, Eve never wanted or asked her to change, be better... Eve is the only one who understands her and accepts her as she is, but Villanelle’s past traumas are not allowing her to see it. 

Eve

“Stop what you’re doing before it’s too late” soundtrack by Unloved is one of my favorites ever since I heard it. It’s a shame it hasn’t been released just yet. But I’m impatiently waiting for it. This song stands out because it only plays during Eve’s scenes and it makes the lyrics so much more personal. It’s like the show itself is trying to warn her, to stop it all while she still has the chance, but Eve clearly is not listening, she doesn’t hear what we hear. 

It’s so interesting to see what kind of life, routine Eve has adopted. It’s very similar to her starting point back in S3, except it’s quite the opposite. In S3 she started out miserable and on her own. Her house a mess. Her drinking wine during the evenings and hiding from the world at her work. Now? Now she’s staying at a hotel, working out, taking care of herself and hunting down the twelve in the middle of it. Love that for her. 

Eve & Yusuf

It’s so funny that I had to rewatch the episode a couple of times (and even pause it) to fully pay attention to what these two are talking lol. Apparently both of them just received a warning from their job due to their absence. As soon as Eve got into the truck she was willing to work for “one hour” and then she was going to get back to tracking down Helene. It’s apparent that neither Eve nor Yusuf really care about their actual job (I’m still not sure what that is lmao).

 Thankfully it’s pretty clear that there is nothing romantic between these two, so we shouldn’t worry much about Yusuf. From the looks of it they are more like friends with benefits, or should I say, colleagues with benefits type, and it’s only a matter of time until it’s Yusuf’s turn to go. Sorry not sorry.

I love it when it’s supposed to be a scene with Eve and Yusuf and Villanelle still is present in some way. This time in form of invitation. Eve didn’t even hesitate to tear it into pieces lol. It shows how pissed off she is with Villanelle, but the reason is still unclear. Perhaps even Eve sees Villanelle is putting on a show once more. After all... Nelle is not the one Eve fell for, so naturally she’s not one bit interested in her baptism BS. (it still is heartbreaking to know she has been rejecting her invitations for God knows how long. At least Villanelle is trying her best to create the best show for her.)

Not them putting on sexy music right before they have sex *groans*. At first I didn’t question why or how Eve got “in the mood” for it, but the more I think about it, the more I’m leaning towards the fact that Villanelle sent her an invitation. Or... was it the fact that Eve shot Konstantin in the hand that was a major turn on? Both Villanelle and Eve love power and control so it wouldn’t be a surprise. 

Ohhh the way we all thought that Yusuf is going to try to kill Eve by strangling her in the park.. the fact that they showed that bit in the trailer means that it’s not what it looks like, otherwise they wouldn’t have spoiled it in the first place. Not gonna lie, I’d love to see Eve snap his neck with her thighs... I mean they started it, Eve should’ve put an early end to it lmao.

Carolyn & Hugo

There has been rumors about Hugo possibly coming back but they ended just as quickly as they appeared so I didn’t have high hopes for it to happen, but it did! I’m glad at least a couple of characters from previous seasons are coming back to tie everything together (Good job, Laura!)

Carolyn has been demoted and let’s just say she’s not happy about it. At least she has a job at all. But it’s clear she still has a couple of contacts that are helping her to investigate the twelve (Milos). 

It wouldn’t be Hugo if he didn’t barge in like that bragging about his new position, which was previously Carolyn’s. He did get shot after all and I’m all for him giving Carolyn a hard time, but he has no idea who he’s dealing with. It seems like he underestimates the twelve and just how dangerous they are, thinking he got everything figured out only because he got a leverage over Carolyn. Makes me wonder how did he get those pictures of Paul’s dead body..? Maybe Carolyn had more enemies at work if they were exchanging such information to someone like Hugo. 

Christian Dinner

Villanelle preparing fish and loaves because she wouldn’t know what to make otherwise is so hilarious, but also really adorable of her 😭

Them naming the black cat Lucifer is peak comedy lmao!

Seeing how both, May and Vicar, reacted to Luficer hissing at Villanelle truly shows both of their attitudes towards her. May immediately rose up to take Lucifer away, while Vicar told May to leave it be. At this point it’s clear that Vicar doesn’t want Villanelle around for long since he is bringing up the fact that she’s not going to stay there with them forever.

They are trying to tell me that it’s been 8 or so months and only now Villanelle is about to be baptized..? 

RIP Lucifer

This is probably the first time in this episode so far when Villanelle was by herself. There was no one else around that could watch her. There was no reason for her to pretend. Yet she still chose to pray. Pray for a new life. This time she was genuinely trying and it was even more heartbreaking to witness 😭

NOT Lucifer coming from behind her while she was praying 😭😭😭

We all saw where this was headed... I hate it so much, but a point had to be made, I guess. No matter how good she tried to appear to be, death would still be surrounding her, in one way or another. The only thing that somewhat comforts me is that that kill was accidental... then again, her killing the cat means she killed Lucifer...? Is that intentional? I think so. 

May aka the Fanfic Writer

A couple of peeps have mentioned something about someone writing fanfic in the show and there you have it!

The way May represents the fandom as a whole is INSANE! She writes fanfic of herself and ‘Nelle’, is completely in love with her and once given an opportunity, will tell you all the amazing things about Nelle. 

“Now tell me why you like me so much” ― if this scene ain’t us explaining why we love Villanelle, then I don’t know what is. 

This wasn’t the first time Villanelle had her hair stroked, which also happened back in 2x05 while she was “grieving” for Eve. I guess this is one of the things that brings her comfort. Along with stroking her ego ofc.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever met” ― DO NOT THROW ANOTHER PARALLEL MY WAY LIKE THIS!! Niko literally told Eve she was the best person he knew back in 2x04, which makes May the female version of Niko 😭

Eve & Carolyn

Only seeing them together in the trailer made me roll my eyes since it seemed like they were going the same route again. Carolyn finding Eve and asking her to work for her. Like she did in each previous season. This time Eve saw it coming and refused right away lol. (That is until Carolyn left)

Carolyn clearly had made her homework prior to meeting Eve, since she knows where she works and that she’s still investigating the twelve. Interesting because it was Carolyn herself who told Eve to stop investigating them all together back in 3x08. Now Eve is basically her only lead to find out more about the twelve. How tables have turned...

Carolyn knows exactly what she’s doing by coming to Eve... like in S3 she came in and even though Eve refused, she still left the file with her... knowing that sooner or later Eve will still do the work for her since she can’t help herself lol. How convenient. At least she’s willing to pay this time.

The Preparation for Baptism

Besides Villanelle showing off her knowledge of the lines to Vicar, the absolute highlight of this scene was Villanelle trying to find the right spot for Eve to sit so she could see the angel wings behind her 😭 she was being shy and nervous, I bet not seeing the love of your life for longer than half a year will affect you in many such ways.

“I can’t reserve a seat at my own party?” ―  Villanelle pls 😂

Did Barbara actually dig up the dead cat from the freaking graveyard only so she could show it to the Vicar?? She seriously needs to go 

Conversation with the Vicar

One good point the Vicar made is that “Nelle” was with them for months and they hardly knew anything about her. And that led her to remind him, and let us know, what story she has cooked up for Nelle.

“Born in Russia, abandoned in an orphanage and sold into slavery”  ― well she’s not really lying here, just being extra dramatic about the slavery part lol. I mean I could see why Vicar didn’t trust her, having such a suspicious background while pretending to be a saint.

The fact that she thinks if no one were to see her being baptized means it didn’t happen shows her lack of faith. But then again, it’s one the ways she knows how to operate, through a show. 

I find it interesting that Villanelle didn’t directly lie or admit that she didn’t believe in God. Instead, her actual answer revealed so much. I think she truly believed that being around people who believed in God would help her change and I want to hug her for trying so hard 🥺️

I feel like Eve really needs to open up to Villanelle and let her know that she loves her the way she is and accepts her because suddenly Eve’s acceptance from 3x08 was completely erased from V’s mind 😭

The Funeral Home

The more I rewatch it the more it makes me question Eve’s disguise choice. Was she pretending to be Anna?!

Not gonna lie, Pam’s behavior does remind me of Villanelle’s back in 1x03 when she was pretending to be a nurse in that fetish clinic 👀

The way Eve straight up asks Pam if she knows Helene like... Eve honey, you’re better than that. Now Pam definitely knows you’re up to something. 

The Baptism

Seeing Villanelle’s expression drop as probably did her heart, while watching strangers come in without a sight of Eve was truly heartbreaking😭 really brings me back to 2x04 of when Eve didn’t show up... the only difference is that Eve wanted to come to Amsterdam even if she didn’t receive that post card from Villanelle... where’s here she did receive the invitation and decided not to show up 😭😭😭

Villanelle’s reaction to actually being baptized like... 🤔 asdjngsdjfsfs

Eve discussing Pam

“The look in her eye... I’ve seen it before. I can’t explain it” ― Hold up... HOLD UP for a moment! Eve did see it before. With Villanelle. And guess what? Eve described every tiny detail about her back in 1x02, so how come she can’t explain it now?! 

“That was an expert analysis” ― well Eve is an expert. Like Carolyn said, an expert of female assassin’s. So what’s changed? Or was this a writing decision that basically yet again confirms Villanelle and Eve are soulmates?? Since Villanelle is the only one Eve can connect on such a deep level to understand her like that? Or am I not getting something here?

The Fish Tank Scene

You’d think since Eve didn’t stop up at baptism, which was a very special day for Villanelle, she would be very angry and wouldn’t want to see Eve at all... yet here she comes, looks at her only the one completely in love could look and forgives the love of her life not showing up 😭

Villanelle going as far as to kneel before Eve... let’s be honest...we all know what we first thought was going to happen there 🤡

“If you’d really changed, you wouldn’t have come here” ― you mean, if Villanelle stopped loving and caring for you then yeah she probably wouldn’t have come there, but that’s not what she meant, Eve 😭

“If you’d really changed, you wouldn’t have let me.” ― also a good point. I mean maybe Eve could’ve made it harder for Villanelle to find her if she really wanted to leave Villanelle behind?

The moral of the story: both parties are trying to avoid each other but they have failed and now they came to blame one another since they can’t admit feelings for one another 🤡 aka. typical gay activity

Also, the fact that we don’t know what actually happened after bridge and Eve being so mad at Villanelle for no reason like?? She went as far as to slap her hoping that will drive her away... and it did break her heart, you could see it in her eyes... there could’ve been a short scene where Eve could’ve either told Yusuf or what happened or wrote something in a diary, a flashback, something so they could let the audience connect the dots... but instead we only got an explanation through one of Laura’s interviews.. which apparently described that Eve is trying to keep Villanelle as far away from herself so she could fully focus on the twelve, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to stick to the main mission with Villanelle around and in a way I understand... I mean who could focus on anything when Villanelle is next to you lol? However, that does not mean Eve has to be that cold with her... and there was no sign, no confirmation Eve is doing this to protect Villanelle... and I’m really hoping that we will get it in the future episodes... there has to be something more obvious that explains it.

“Yes I want to, yeah I want to really get to know you more” ― STOP IT WITH THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME 😭😭😭

Tracking Down Helene

Look... I support Eve following Pam to get to Helene, but not that close!! Right before Pam got her I was really thinking like “did she seriously not notice someone right behind her all this time? Especially in the area where there were no people but them two?” and then Pam appeared out of nowhere to warn Eve not to mess with her. But we know Eve better than she does... nothing will stop Eve from getting what she wants 😂

One look at the car and BAM, there she is! Looks pretty French, huh?

Pam could’ve knocked Eve out if she wanted to...which leads me to think that maybe she did want Eve to follow her...? Maybe Pam already told Helene about Eve coming to search for her and Helene told Pam to lure Eve to her...? Making her think that she has trakced her down on her own...?

Nelle’s outburst

“It’s very much in your interest for me to believe in you” ― pls this bitch is actually killing me here 🤣🤣🤣

“I knew you weren’t real” ― that’s what happens when the love of your life rejects you I’m afraid... all the faith is gone in an instant. Come on V, all of it was for Eve from the beginning, let’s be real here.

“No one can pretend as well as that” ― oh sweetie... you’re in for a damn ride. Probably your last one too lmao!

“She knows you’d never hurt anyone...”; “You don’t know me” ― aaand here was the part where I was waiting for that sweet kiss to come... and it never did 🤡 interesting how Villanelle was trying so hard to receive that recognition of being a good person, the best one in fact, this entire episode and now that May tells her she wouldn’t hurt anyone since she’s so good, that’s when Villanelle feels like she has to prove her wrong. Because May doesn’t know anything about her... sadly. And thus drowning May I think was a form of lashing out due to Eve’s rejection. 

Not “Jesus” playing while Villanelle is literally killing May... ☠️☠️☠️

Now that instant regret completely mirrors Eve’s at the end of 1x08 after she stabbed her out of impulse and immediately realized what she has done. I guess Villanelle is so used to killing that it almost feels like she has to, its a natural thing for her to do... so not doing it it’s just weird. Off. Kudos to her for quickly realizing what she did and reviving May 🙌

Vlad & Carolyn

Well I didn’t expect to see Vlad again, so this was quite a surprise!

“Hello traitor” ― let’s just say Vlad is still very bitter for being pushed under the bus... and rightfully so. 

Is Carolyn this desperate that she’s willing to come and work for the Russian’s now to get some kind of information? Or does she have another plan for them?

The Introduction of Jesus!Villanelle

When Jodie kept teasing that they are going to be pushing boundaries with Villanelle, I’ve never, not in my wildest dreams, could’ve seen THIS coming.

I’m going to say this now, Jesus!Villanelle is the craziest and BEST thing that happened in KE and I am not going to accept any criticism for it. In a way it makes total sense knowing that Villanelle has such a strong god complex and that she now completely “lost” her faith, that the only one that could lead her is herself. IN DRAG 🥵️

Jodie admitting that playing Jesus!Villanelle is the sexiest she has ever felt PLEASE, I LOVE THAT SHE SAID IT, AS SHE SHOULD 😭

When you really think about it, Jesus!Villanelle is a GENIUS choice for a Jesus representation for Villanelle since it does include her sense of fashion, her sexuality, her gender fluidity... all those things that Jodie mentioned ARE there and I’m just like...🤯

At the same time a part of me still can’t believe that part happened.. like it’s too crazy good to be true.. but it did and I will NEVER recover from it lol... I mean if Jesus looked like this, you can call me religious lmao

The soundtracks

I don’t think any other show puts so much meaning into songs and lyrics they choose.. like the songs are literally made for this show, for these scenes and these characters...they add up so much more meaning and depth to them, it blows my mind every single time.. but the fact that Unloved created a couple new songs for this season is literally chef’s kiss 🤌

Well, if anyone lasted until this part, THANK YOU for taking your time to read my mess of a review lol! I’ll be back tomorrow with the second episode review! 

[mfpeace]

@justbeingedgy @weird-colombian-gurl You asked me to elaborate on the "Ches already has a kid" theory in the notes of that one mf analysis post (which I really liked, go check it out!!), so that's why I'm making this one, cuz notes are a bit too restricting for what I want to talk about!

Though next time think twice before asking me to talk about something I'm interested in, because you never know when you're gonna wake up lovecraftian horrors!! :DDD you'll see what i mean when you press read more :))

So, I'll say it right now - this post is largely inspired by the second story highlight of this Instagram user (sorry, I don't know their name, only that their Instagram handle is dee_girl_metalfamilyfan), it's in Russian though, so keep that in mind

Alright, so I'll break this theory into two parts: the first one will be all about Ches, and the second will be about his potential child (spoiler: you might've seen her!)

Without any further ado, let's get to the Ches part:

1. The creators said that they're gonna explore Ches' character in the second season. Obviously, it doesn't mean anything on it's own, but just wait.

Dima: Let's talk about the second season a little. Of course, the seconds season will show development of the old characters, as well as new ones. That's in short. As you see, Ches looks a bit different here.

Alina: Yeah, we'll show a bit more about Ches at the ages of 18 to 20. His past. We'll reveal a bit more about his complex character, as much as it's possible.

(The source of the translation) Also I think they also said at one point that adult Ches will get some character development too? But that's probably a given, considering that we wouldn't see his youth if it wouldn't have affected him in the present, flashbacks without any relevance to the overall story don't sound so good

2. Not sure about this one (we don't know how much in character it was) but I can't not mention it.

Alina: Actually there was this one fanfic that I really liked. I don’t remember what it was called, but it was about Ches having a daughter, which is a cool topic. It was relatively in character and truly interesting. It’s great when people focus not just on sexual relationships of the characters, but also try to look at their development. That was a really interesting one. That’s it.

(UnityCon '19)

3. This one's a pretty big one, in my opinion. So, this is what they said on ArtWave '19:

Dima: Ches also has flaws.

Alina: [to Dima] Don’t spoil stuff.

Dima: His flaw is that he's very... irresponsible, let’s say.

So, maybe, just maybe, Ches does have a child but he, you know... left them? As the Instagram highlight from the beginning say: "he might be irresponsible enough to leave his child, and he's probably irresponsible enough not to use any contraception" (rephrased, not the exact quote)

4. Alright, so, the only mention of this one I can think of right now is the aforementioned Instagram highlight. The Metalfamilyfan says:

I contacted Korg/Корж, (admin of @ metal_yama [and I believe one of the organizers of the Metal Family Meetup in Moscow]) and she asked Alina on one of the meetups: "if Ches were to be a father, what kind of father would he be?"

And she said: "The kind of that would say "kid, look at that birdie over there!" an then he would run away"

Someone's words are not the perfect source, but they did tag Metal Yama and from what I know they didn't disagree with what the author of the page said. if anyone has anything to say about this (disprove or definitely prove what I said) feel free to do so in a reblog, notes, DMs, send me an anonymous ask, or in any other way you feel comfortable with

5. Ches has literally been through the same thing, and we know how important the theme of the cycle of abuse is in Metal Family (or, in this case, the cycle of neglect? Abandonment? Idk)

You managed to hide your PREGNANCY from me! AND you've been hiding the child from me for a whole year!

YES, because you would've insisted on aborting him!

AND NOW I'M INSISTING ON PUTTING HIM UP FOR ADOPTION! OR I'LL LEAVE RIGHT NOW!

6. Here we can see Ches with a blonde girl. Nothing too special, probably just a one time hook up. He doesn't seem to be interested in her, and she seems to be annoyed with him.

But wait...

What is this?

Like, it doesn't even matter if there's actually a punk/rock/whatever band named MOM or not, I just think it's pretty weird to put it in this particular drawing of Ches and this random woman who is implied to have slept with him. It's not integral to Ches' character as, for example, Korol i Shut is. It's just... there. For some reason.

------------

Alright, now, finally let's get to the second part of the theory: who is, exactly, his child?

The short answer is, according to this theory, her:

First, let me list every single instance of her appearing in canon (and by canon I mean everything made by the creators. Even with this definition of canon it's not much, I promise): The screenshot you can see above on the left (it's a screenshot from the second season and it appeared here), an instagram story posted by Alina (above, right), and two drawing with a lot of characters where you can spot the girl which I'm gonna call her PinkHair or PH for short, I'll mention them later I feel like I should mention this, comparing the sources of the images and the dates when they were posted, it's safe to assume that the screenshot in the classroom has the latest and final version of her design. The red hair most likely doesn't mean anything

1. Alright. So. we've seen Dee and PinkHair in a classroom together, so they're most likely related in some way, or at least they know each other. Their exact relationship doesn't matter here, because all that matters here is that they're related story-wise

Let's look at the first image. This is the banner of the main Metal Family channel. Ches is near Heavy (they get along quite well and I'm sure Heavy aspires to be like Ches in many ways), Dee (we can see his classmates/friends near him, they're all about his age), and we can see people related to Glam on the left side of the image (including Ches!), and Vicky's - on the right side (notice how the hell sign is also there)

Now, I'm not absolutely sure about this one, but it's still kind of weird - look at the image on the right (it's from ArtWave 2021 btw) - wouldn't it make more sense to put PinkHair near Dee? Also, Curiously enough, not only is she not close to Dee on this image, but she's also standing next to Ches.

Though this whole thing could be explained by art theory (too many small things in one corner of your drawing isn't great composition wise lol sorry PH) but I still can't quite skip this point

2. Remember the "MOM" lady? Fun fact, she has the exact same pearl earring that PinkHair has on the screenshot.

3. I'll put all similarities with her supposed parents in this point: Mother: * She's also pretty uh.. glam? for the lack of a better word? Or feminine in a traditional sense, yeah I think that's a better way to put it. Like colors they prefer to wear for example, and jewelry. Characters like that aren't common in Metal Family * She's gotta be a blonde. I can't imagine her being anything but blonde. If she manages to maintain that hair color as a brunette I'm just straight up assuming her character arc is gonna be killing God because these kind of people are capable of anything. I fear them with every fiber of my being. * I can't say for sure because of the shading, but it seems like they both have gray eyes, and she also has darker skin compared to most MF characters. Though, it's likely that Mom just applied a lot of fake tan Ches: * We know that Ches for sure has darker skin * AND grey eyes * There's also some possible personality similarities but I'm not sure if you can compare a child to a parent they've never really known in this way

That's about it, I suppose, I hope there isn't that many grammar mistakes and logically unfinished parts and whatnot in this post I forgot to edit lol x) I'm not sure how to end this post other than to remind you guys that almost all the points in this posts are inspired by the "тупая теория" highlight on the dee_girl_metalfamilyfan's Instagram page, so go check them out and subscribe, they post Dee x The Quest Girl fanart and and always credit the artists. Without them this post would be much, much shorter.

Thanks for reading this post, please feel free to let me know your thoughts on this post <3

[agent-troi]

Picard season 2 episode 1 “The Star Gazer”

Why did the Borg Queen call him Picard and not Locutus? The random ex-Borg in the Artifact called him Locutus, but the Borg Queen is on last-name terms with him? I wonder did they’ll explain that somehow or if it was just a writing goof

Ok this is a really upbeat song and I kind of like it, it gives me hope this season will be less dystopian

Wtf was that look between Picard and Laris

I’d ask where Zhaban is but I was spoiled for that and it fucking sucks

Wait they were promised to each other at birth?? I guess they’re just ignoring the comics then because they were assigned to a planet by the Tal Shiar and they first met there, and then they fell in love and decided to leave and Picard helped them escape during the Romulan evacuation

Ok I think I see what they’re doing: they’re making their marriage sound like something that wasn’t exactly what she wanted or at least they weren’t soulmates because they’re setting up Picard/Laris for some fucking insane reason

Yeah that’s what they’re doing

God I really don’t like this

Omigod Laris stop

Where the fuck is Beverly when you need her

She needs to cockblock this like with Vash

PICARD NO

Oh thank god

Oooooh flashback time

Is that his mother?

Why is all the glass broken in the present

Wait was his father abusive to his mother?! How is this the first time they’re mentioning a major backstory component like that

What happened to half the lights in Spain

Oooh green space anomaly

Lol Laris knows where things are in Picard’s library better than he does

Nooo don’t talk about last night that was gross

“I’m too old for awkward” total mood tbh

Yay starfleet academy time

Raffi!

Cadet Elnor!!

The applause sounds polite but lackluster to me but idk

“I stand before you today the last Picard” WELL NOT IN THE BOOKS WHICH WERE COMPLETELY ANNIHILATED FOR THIS SEMI-DYSTOPIAN SHOW

Seven!

Why the hell doesn’t she tie her hair back, I mean it looks great but it’s not very efficient or frankly safe in hand to hand combat

I love how they’re just casually carrying on a conversation in two different languages

She merged the holos? Interesting but I kind of miss them

Green space anomaly!

Soji!

Wait why did they think that was funny? Does “the heart has spoken” translate to something funny in their language?

Jurati!

Wait so whatever happened with Jurati and the fact that she killed Maddox? Was there a formal investigation or trial? And is she still with Rios?

“You’re flirting, right?” Lmao total mood

Oh ok they cleared her

I guess she and Rios broke up

Oooh Soji’s necklace is now a pin

Rios!

“Some kind of subspace anomaly” Jesus starfleet really needs to expand its vocabulary

Wait Mark Twain couldn’t have a cigar in TNG but Rios is allowed to have one in the 25th century?

I like this bridge layout tbh

Stargazer!

Tbh I thought the hand holding thing between raffi and seven at the end of season one seemed random and a little forced, and it doesn’t surprise me that they’re having relationship problems

Elnor is going to the Excelsior!

Wait it’s only been two years at most, how has he already gotten a starship posting? Unless it’s just a temporary training exercise or they’re doing cadet work studies in earlier years now

Aww Raffi in mom mode

Aww the old Stargazer

I love how we’re back to investigating space anomalies instead of moping around on earth

Lol Agnes

Oooh personalized distress signal

Guinan!

“You’ll always be Captain to me”🥺

Wait can El-Aurians actually control their aging process? Because that’s really fucking cool

How the fuck is neither of them mentioning Beverly in this conversation

Also WHERE IS BEVERLY

“I suggest that we drink” wise suggestion Guinan

Lol they copypasted an entire section of the Federation charter

Bye bye Laris, somehow I doubt you’ll get a postcard

If they fear the Borg so much why did they build a new ship based on their technology?

“I think you look absolutely positronic” lmao

Tbh I think it would’ve been in character for him to start saying “of the Federation starship—” and then cut himself off sheepishly because he’s forgotten that he’s not in charge and being on a starship again has reawakened his muscle memory

I don’t think that cigar is even lit lol, I guess he just likes to chew on it

Why the fuck is a Borg ship shaped like that

How were the Borg decimated? Was it just what happened in Endgame or did more stuff happened between then and now? It was just one transwarp hub so I don’t think that would be enough

That… doesn’t look like a Borg

See, that’s why you don’t incorporate Borg modifications into your ships

That sounds like a major security risk to be able to access the command codes for the entire fleet from one ship

Is that sing in his head or is it really playing? Because it sounds a little too upbeat for the situation

Did they really just blow up the ship?

Oh there’s the alternate timeline

Ooh he’s got an android servant

Q!

“21st century Earth is so tense” yes yes it is which is why I don’t like it when Star Trek goes back there, it’s bad enough I have to live in it

Well I liked the end of this episode and I’m looking forward to finding out how time was broken but I guess I’m still too sour over the demise of the novelverse to completely enjoy this

[chaysingthesun]

I'm trying to figure out the timing of this solo comeback. So, if Kai drops it like he usually does with enlistment lurking in the background (I thought he had until the end of the year), does this mean it will be a Baekhyun situation with little promotion because of it? I hope not, though I would ultimately understand why if so, because I have loved all these solo performances on music programs we have gotten from Suho and Xiumin and Kai in the past.

As someone new to being an EXO L (2 years), I've felt soiled the last 10/11 months. Starting off with Kai dropping his 2nd album last year, his promotions, all the concerts from him. Then new solo stuff from Suho and Xiumin, offline concerts from Suho and Chen, DO and now his acting projects, seeing more group content, etc it's been the season of giving for a group during their enlistment era and I appreciate EXO still showing that as long as fans are around, they will be there.

That's the only thing I hated about Baekhyun 3rd album, lack of promotion reflecting staging and performances because of enlistment. I wanted more, though I understood why there wasn't because of all the things he was preparing before hand.

If anything, Kai and dance performances go hand and hand, so I don't want to not have that for this new album.

Hey there! I’m also a 2-year-old EXO-L (born at the beginning of the pandemic lol). High five! I’ve felt so spoiled too! I can hardly believe all the activity we’ve been getting lately, it’s amazing. They just keep going above and beyond what I expected during this time. I’m so grateful to them. It makes me happy that they love the fans and what they do so much.

For Jongin, I think we may have more time than we think before he goes. Vixx Ravi is almost a year older than him (born February 1993) and he still hasn’t enlisted yet, and from what I hear he’s not the only ‘93 liner still around, which makes me think that the rules may not be as straightforward as “enlist before your 29th birthday” or there’s some nuance lost in translation. I wonder if the timing of getting the summons has anything to do with it?

Anyway I’m not too worried. I agree with you that I can’t imagine he’d drop something without plans to also give some sort of dance performance. I suspect that like last year, the album will come first with all its promotions and then the concert. He did all that for Peaches and KLoor in November and December last year, so we still have plenty of time even if he does end up enlisting at the end of the year or by his birthday.

Also, I’m not going to set my hopes on it or anything, but I think there’s a good possibility that there’s something else in addition to all this in the works (even if just a single) that he’d drop as a goodbye gift before enlisting like other members have done. He did say earlier this year he wanted to come out with two albums this year; obviously that can’t happen now but it makes me curious what he’s got up his sleeve. For that one even if we don’t get a ton of promotions or music show performances I suspect he’d find a way to show us a dance performance, like prerecorded on Studio Choom or something.

To speculate even further, if he doesn’t have to enlist before his birthday, that also opens up the possibility of a full member EXO comeback next spring… again, I’m not getting my hopes up too high, but with the way the members keep hinting about coming back soon, I don’t think it’s all that farfetched. We’ll see 😅 Maybe I’m a clown but one thing’s for sure, they always end up surprising us!

[hazelcephalopod]

The Great Hunt Ch 1-2

Nice catch up to where Rand is. I am deeply enraged and offended on his behalf. I don’t care the reasons! Respect peoples stuff! Oh also seeing *them* and *her* is cool.

Disclaimer: this is my first read thru but I’ve watched all of the show thus far and been spoiled on some book things. So… I’m going to lean into that. Enjoy figuring out what I know, and what I think I know, and what I just don’t. Also s/x I add commentary when I edit.

Spoilers for the first and second book and all of season 1 under the cut. Potential spoilers for later books -idk if they’re light spoilers or not.

Two chapters at a time seems good.

Ch 1: The Flame of Tar Valon

The wheel of time

That’s a good chapter name

Late is a bit of an understatement

Rand POV

I’m guessing he decided not to leave the party after all then. Seems a good while after the events of book one. Not seven-eight days

Ooo. That’s not good. Ouch!

Oh not strange wind Lan didn’t notice

Ah. A month. Not ready to let go yet kid?

Listen to Lan! He’s (Tam but Lan can be tok) your dad in all the ways that matter

Huh. So not everyone would recognize heron blade

“Unclean things” = weird cosmic horror lake kaijus

I feel like he chose the wrong Aes Sedai if that is his goal

…at least one he’s truly dedicated to

Does Rand have a magic sword? Lol. Of course

Never say never. Especially to him

A year? Oof

“…that Heron form is only for practicing balance. Anywhere but doing forms it leaves you wide open; you can strike home… but you’ll never avoid [your opponents] blade.” -Lan to Rand

Fully feel for Rand here. He’s just a confused kid still

Humans at least

“Like a singing serpent the column wound is way toward Fal Dara.” -(Rand) and Lan seeing the company approaching

Oohhhhh it’s the chapter name! The Flame. Aes Sedai!

Ingtar!

I mean… I think you know why even if you don’t want to admit it. Some serious shit just occurred

So most Shienar-ians respect or fearfully respect Aes Sedai. Cool. Good for them

First goose bumps!

……. Ohhhh Elaida. Right

Yea I can see how that hasn’t broken down your barriers.

Lol

It was. Trust your instinct on his little expressions

Well that’s fucking ominous. This kid is going to go mad from the stress and rejection faster than some curse

Poor guy

Kinda is. Symbolically!

I can think of several. Half of them ultimately you but very few know that

Ohh no

Equally bad

Sweetie. No. Not your fault. Regrettably, does not matter

That paranoia tho

…Is kinda fair.

Ch 2: The Welcome

The Flame of Tar Valon

Descriptive!

Rand POV

Oh right the Amyrlin Seat is here. Siuan!

Only 50 chapters this time.

Well this is a nightmare. No. Not him!

Oh I would also be pissed. Dont matter how fucked someones clothes are you don’t just throw them out without them. /I would have a fit tbh. Dont touch my shit. I’m a feral little man/

Yea he handled that better

No. Fuck off /I would leave. I think I’ve had nightmares like this. I’d make a problem!/ (I soon learn he does plan to leave. It’s just his priorities are better than my rage)

I’d be happy he got new clothes if they hadn’t flaming stolen his old ones. Like yes that… is in theory fun. I know that. But not like this!

Moiraine. Plz. Talk to your son

Rand. Plz. Talk to you mom (#3)

Madam. Consent! (I fear I’m going to be saying that a lot)

It definitely was

It’s not that hard. Knife and pull thread

Thom stuff!

Like I understand that Moiraine probably did that in part to draw attention away from him b/c some lordling with a heron blade makes more sense than weird tall farm boy. But still… not like that

New bow! Cool!

Oh. He is running!

“…he had had more than enough of Aes Sedai for any sane lifetime. One was too many.” -(Rand) coming up with his escape plan

Don’t think you want to be in seeing her range dude

Also. Why would a farm boy whose mom died young not know the basics of sewing? (Editor me- especially when his dad was so resistant to getting remarried)

14? That’s quite a few honestly

I do like the description that they are a diverse group/s and maintain their cultural origins mixed with Tower culture

You are too close yes

15 Aes Sedai

Ah yes ritual greetings. Where would we be without them?

… I applaud the worldbuilding honestly

Yup. Time to go. Right

Dunno what you rest plan here but I understand bud

Yes! It does mean son of. And also king. Which is very funny actually. “Al” that is

Yea dude. That tracks. You can’t rely on like servants. Shoulda just walked (I soon learn he could not. Lan was uh. Correct shoulda left a week ago)

Oh fuck.

Whoever else could it be?

“Rand broke into a run.”

Coulda ended the chapter on that. Lmao

[yoursummerfrost]

For the character ask! If you haven’t answered this already, I’m so curious to hear everything you think about Jaskier 👀

Sorry it took me a few days to answer!! What is time, am I right? Answers under the cut <3

Send me a character to answer questions about!

Why I like them

Oh my god where to begin. I love that he’s a horrible little bastard, that he’s such an interesting foil to Geralt in terms of personality and morality. Like, Geralt is very gruff and noble and then here’s this chucklefuck who’s super cheerful and charismatic who’s lowkey down for murder and is very selfish and ambitious! I love characterizing him with ADHD. I love exploring what kind of person decides to follow a Witcher around for twenty two years. I just think his narrative themes, which I have basically made up for myself with the help of this lovely fandom, are super neat.

Why I don’t

Don’t assasinate your professional rivals, Jask. Also, book!Dandelion is uhhh kind of a sexist womanizer, from what I’ve read. Some of his behavior in the first book of short stories definitely rubbed me the wrong way.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

Ooh this is tough. I’m gonna go with the dragon hunt, because I’m obsessed with the pining and I like to let it ache.

Favorite season/movie

I’ll be really interested to see what they do with him in future seasons lol. I haven’t read most of the books yet but I’m spoiled for most of the overarching plot and I think we could have some fun.

Favorite line

“Respect doesn’t make history.” Shut up you edgy bastard.

Favorite outfit

Absolutely the djinn episode. Obsessed w both the color and pattern of that doublet, and the stupid bum bow.

OTP

Definitely geraskefer, but a lot of my fic ideas have been more geraskier-focused so far. I’m really into the specific brand of geraskier softness and pining, writing-wise. And also ADHD/autism solidarity.

Brotp

Renfri & Jaskier is truly a thing of beauty, okay? Jaskier would write her all the ballads. 

Head Canon

Lol not to be redundant but ADHD!Jaskier is best Jaskier. 

Unpopular opinion

I can never really tell how actually unpopular things are in fandom, since I definitely follow my little subset of people and this fandom is super buzzing rn. But I know there’s a lot of inhuman!Jaskier fics out there and I have read some that I really enjoyed, but it’s not as much my jam. One part of Jaskier I really love is how human he is. How his humanness welcomes Geralt and Yen into a world they’ve been shunned by, how his life is comparatively so small and short and yet so meaningful. And I want Destiny to have nothing to do with him. Geralt and Yen have had so many choices taken away from them in the name of Destiny and in service of a Greater Good that doesn’t even treat them well (it never does, does it?) and to me, the beautiful thing about Jaskier is that his devotion is a choice.

A wish

Uhhh there’s a certain Yen/Jaskier interaction in the books that I really hope makes it onto the show.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

I mean, I’d be Big Sad if he died lol, but I’m pretty sure *knocks on wood* he’s got plot armor.

5 words to best describe them

Bastard, loyal, ambitious, creative, loquacious

My nickname for them

Jask is pretty much the only other thing I call him? And, I mean, “bastard” xD

[thotsforvillainrights]

~Christmas with You~

(It’s days after Christmas as usual I haven’t active or slept  properly yet but I’ve been focused on my store lol. I hadn’t been super on my writing game in a hot minute so I decided to write how your partner would treat you during the holidays. This features EVERY single villain I write for from the list located in my bio IN ORDER. Also I apologize if you don’t celebrate Christmas and this doesn’t apply to you. I hope you still had a great holiday anyway, and I love you!)

~Toga💉-She begins her present shopping early because she wants to find you something that she’s sure you’ll like! Eventually she ends up buying a ton of things, but none of them satisfy her and she’s worried you won’t like any of them even though you will. So finally she settles on making you something instead. She will stay up all night long pushing herself to put together the perfect gift for you and will literally fall apart if you don’t like it. But I’m sure she won’t have to worry about anything like that.

~Dabi🔥-Hates the holidays. He tells you they hold some pretty shitty childhood memories for him and he’s honestly all for avoiding even just the thought of Christmas, but of course he looks at you and that changes. He’s really willing to try and take part in a little holiday cheer just for you even if it’s stupid to him. Call it cheesy, but when he celebrates with you it helps take away from the old bad thoughts. It gives him a chance to replace the bad memories with good ones. So he’ll bake some shitty cookies with you, and poorly wrap presents even if he knows that you know what he got for you. Of course he’s not opposed to a mistletoe kiss or two (or three). You help put the cheer in the holiday for him.

~Overhaul🥀-Hates Christmas. It’s not the holiday, it’s just how many people are buzzing around up until that point. So he gets ALL of his shopping done early. And and all emergencies are to be handled by his men (ex: in case he forgot something on the list). The number one thing he takes super seriously is you seeing your presents. You better hope he doesn’t catch you sneaking around the tree. He will lock you in the bedroom until the day of Christmas itself before he lets you open any of them early...even on Christmas eve

~Shigaraki🤚-Literally wakes you up super early on the morning of just so you can watch a movie with him in a fluffy throw blanket with the hum of his electric heater nearby. He loves this season with you more than any other because he can use the cold weather as an excuse to cuddle with you. “Oh well you know I’m kinda small here so I don’t produce a lot of body heat. You should come closer.” Aside from that, he loves the way you celebrate. You make it up to him for not having a childhood at all. Surprisingly enough, he loves doing all the little things with you.

~Tengai🏳-Doesn’t see a point in the holidays and never really supported it before. Now don’t get me wrong, he’s no scrooge. He would rather spend his time the way he usually did around this time of the year: working at charity spots and donation centers. When you find out he spends every holiday season serving food to people less fortunate it makes your heart soar. So if you have the time to join him, then by all means please do so. Help him spread a little peace this season

~Deidoro🍺-Being someone that knows a LOT about different drinks out there, he has never in his life heard about eggnog. It throws you for a loop at first and you laugh at him as he watches you in confusion. “Wait...you’re being serious about this???” So you have to sit him down, make it for him, and let him try it. I mean, how could he be the one person to not know about this when its alcohol related? Well let’s just say that not only does it stick, but Sakaki has been downing eggnog at the Hassaikai Christmas party all night, and now he’s trying to literally eat you in the bathroom while you’re washing your face. It’s ridiculous

~Nemouto✔-This man is 100% proposing to you on Christmas night after a long date with you. For someone that talks about feelings being pointless, he sure does have a lot of love for you. He pays attention to the details and the moods around him. This time was a boost in your happiness and it signaled the perfect time for him to pop the question to you. Add in all those romantic light attractions, and the snow with the carolers etc. Its free romance that he can ride on and use to his advantage. Catch him getting on one knee in the snow after you two are leaving a light show in the city.

~Setsuno💔-Holidays are depressing to say the least. To him, Christmas and Valentines day were the worst 2 days to be alone out of any day of the year. Well WERE until you came into his life. He stares at you unwrapping presents under the tree while he sips some cocoa and he thinks about how lucky he was that you came into his life. Little moments like these help tie together the ideal that holidays aren’t so bad. Thanks to you, he no longer has to fight back tears of sadness in the dead of night as the snow falls against his window and sticks until it melts. Now he has to fight tears of joy blurring his eyes while you two lounge on the couch and try to get through a holiday movie without falling asleep on each other

~Compress🎭-Will do any and everything with you during this day. I mean he’s going to go all out for you on any day of the year, but this one is a little different. So bring in those matching Santa hats, and roll out the gingerbread house kits. Compress is down for it all. It’s not just for you, but all for the sake of letting loose for once during the year and allowing himself to relax as a civilian instead of a villain on the run. He’d rather spend time building a gingerbread house than trekking through the cold forest with the sounds of sirens in the background getting near. 

~Twice👬-This man gets a new ugly Christmas sweater like every year since 7 years ago. The only difference is now he can celebrate with you and his friends instead of celebrating with himself and his clones, alone somewhere in a storage unit. And yes: he’s the number one person to force the league into a Christmas party because he knows you’ll have fun hanging out with him and everyone else (since usually he keeps you away for protection). He’s also the most likely to make everyone engage in secret Santa with each other. Jin is also the one most likely to burn through Christmas movie marathons like it’s nothing at all to him. He runs on peppermint hot cocoa, and marshmallows so don’t challenge him at all

~Kurogiri☁️-Usually he wouldn’t think twice to celebrate it. It doesn’t bother him, but he’s not really focused on being cheerful when there’s work to be done instead. You have to be the one to help him slow down and enjoy the tiny things here and there. He’ll help you string up lights, decorations, and the tree. Believe me, he does an amazing job on it all because he doesn’t half-ass his work in any kind of way whatsoever. He’s also kinda in love with the Christmas sweater/vest combo you got for him (and he’s secretly wanting to brag about it). He’s not one for the sweets like the ribbon candy, or the candy canes but he’ll blow through holiday food that you cook or order. Most of all, he’s invested in seeing you smile 

~AFO💀-Christmas is just another excuse for him to spoil you. However, you have to step up and let him know it’s more than just gift giving that he needs to do. Where you would love some quality time with him, he’s more about giving you 1,000′s of dollars of gifts and handling work that needs to be done. But who can say no to those eyes of yours huh? (Don’t answer that. Just know he’s not one to deny you). He’s not really into the holidays but he treats it like a big important date night between the two of you. He’ll go above and beyond to ensure things runs smoothly. You’ll have to introduce him to ‘stay at home’ dates for once. If not

~Stain🔪- Isn’t down for it until you mention the tradition that some people go out and chop a real tree. For some odd reason, he’s attached to the idea of chopping a tree down. At first you thought you’d successfully got him into the Christmas spirit, but it just turns out he was eager to use a blade for big business for the first time. Either way, you shrugged it off and rode with it. And boy was that a mistake to make...You were shivering out there. Stain had you in the forest for at least an hour now while he hunted down the perfect tree. You swore to yourself that you’d be getting a fake one next year

~Muscular💪-”Celebrate Christmas? Okay, why tho?” You maybe could convince him by disguising it as a romantic time but he’s not big on romance either. You entice him with gift giving. More importantly the idea of hiding his gifts and not letting him see a single one till Christmas day. THAT is how you get him into the holiday. Be warned though, he’s mostly taking part in the other celebrations because he’s wanting those presents so badly.  

~Mustard☣-You’ll be lucky if you can get him to go Christmas shopping with him, let alone celebrate. No offense against the holiday itself but Mustard doesn’t celebrate ANY day. He doesn’t even like to celebrate his own birthday! He seems to be a bit more bitter around the holidays and the cheer isn’t helping. “C’mon don’t be a scrooooooge!” You poke at his cheek while he’s scrolling through his phone on the couch. “Y/N for the last time, kindly piss off.” He glares at you before turning his attention to his phone again. At this point you’ll either have to risk getting put under from annoying him too much, or you’ll have to find another way to convince him to loosen up. Good luck with it

~Spinner🦎-10/10 best person to spend Christmas with. He’s more into it than you are. As soon as December 1st hits, he’s putting up decorations. In fact, he put up the tree a week before Thanksgiving. The holidays remind him of when he was little and he sat in his mom’s lap while she sewed a Christmas tree quilt. Or when he and his sibling would have snowball fights in the backyard (despite his aversion to cold weather due to his quirk). Shuichi will sit down and write out a holiday movie watch list and watch a different Christmas almost every single day with you if you’d allow it. He’s the first to bake cookies, and the first to start buying gifts early. Most of all, he’s happy to spend this time with you. (Oh be prepared for those walks in the park to admire the Christmas lights)

~Katsukame🗿-Big guy is a lot more cheerful than you know, but he knows nothing about Christmas so you gotta show him all those old fashioned traditions. But please don’t tell him to deck the halls because he will pull a ‘Rappa’ move and punch holes in the hallway walls. Aside from that, he’s pretty open to Christmas cookies, and even decorating. But I have to say he draws the line at singing door to door at people’s houses because he hates to sing. He doesn’t even like to hum lol 

~Rappa👊-Hell yeah he’s gonna spend it with you! The big guy is literally sold on just about anything involving you (well as long as he doesn’t have to wear a stuffy suit for it). His excitement stems mostly from his curiosity. He never had a bad childhood but he still can’t remember much of the holidays back then. So who needs old memories when you can make new ones! At least that’s his reasoning after all lol. 

~Hawks🦅-This guy is the WORST at giving you presents. I mean his gifts are amazing, but he always slips up and tells you what they are too soon. In fact, he will buy you something and ask if you wanna see it within the next five minutes afterward. Its gotten to the point where you have to beg him almost to stop letting wanting you to open stuff. He can’t help it though! Keigo just loves spoiling you, and holidays are the exception where he can go crazy with his saved money.

~Magne🕶-She has this crazy secret collection that she finally busted out once you’ve gotten close enough to you in the relationship. Her secret collection ended up being a MASSIVE set of sweaters (specifically Christmas themed) While she’s beaming proudly about how she has a different sweater for every day in December, your jaw is almost on the floor. “Mag...don’t...don’t these cost like 50 bucks each? How long have you been collecting these?!” Anyway, you should expect an ugly Christmas sweater party with the League at least once this December 

~Tabe🍡-Forget celebrating the other stuff that comes with Christmas, you already know what he’s excited about...All that yummy yummy food!!! Oh God (if it applies) take him to your family (or friends) for Christmas and watch his face as he enters to see that table full of food. Oh man, he’s going to do his best to be respectful but on the inside he wants to destroy all of the food on that table. Oh and don’t worry about the whole baking cookies for Santa because Tabe is most likely going to eat them...and drink the milk too

~Hojo💎-He starts present shopping in late October, early November so that way he has everything he needs to get for you (which is a lot). He hides your presents at the base so you have no idea where to find them. Thanks to the base being an underground labyrinth, you’ll never see those gifts until Christmas eve (just one), and Christmas day (the rest of them). Hojo goes along with whatever you do to celebrate the holidays. He’s just perfect husband material to be honest. Not too rough around the edges, but willing to beat a man to death if his job calls for it. Who knew he’d be the most willing to celebrate the holidays with you.

~Chronostasis🔫-He will literally defy anyone that stood in the way of spending this holiday with you. That includes his own best friend/boss. Overhauls knows this, and he’s comes to respect your relationship so he purposefully doesn’t schedule Hari to work on Christmas (but he still pays him for the full day since he’s still his friend). Hari will absolutely kill anyone that got in the way of your cheer. Even if you were one of those people that believed in Christmas magic, he would support you. The world is tough, and it shows no mercy so little things like joy during the holiday meant a lot more than anyone could know in your household. He loves to see you happy so if that means celebrating with you, then he’s going to do it. Besides...he secretly likes Christmas himself

~Mimic💰-Literally loves to talk about how unnecessary it is while he’s also excited for it as well. Like he’ll talk down about decorating while he’s decorating. If you try to step between him he’s gonna tell you to: “Back off, you’re messing up my artistic flow here. Go sit on the couch. Make yourself useful and unwrap the candy cane boxes for the tree.” You can see by the way he steps back and puts his hands on his hips to admire his handy-work that he’s taken a bit of pride in things here. 

~Pops🇯🇵-The old man will take part in the celebration with you because he absolutely adores both you AND the holiday itself as well. He might mix in a few older traditions like Elf on a Shelf, and making a popcorn line to go around the tree. Most importantly you can look forward to opening one gift early as per tradition on Christmas eve. Pops is thankful every single year he gets to spend with you. 

~Giran👏-Christmas presents from him are on lock. You see he developed this tactic after brainstorming some ideas. He’s always buying you anything and everything but he realizes that it takes away from his Christmas gift pool. To combat this, he decided to cutdown on his generosity in the months of September, October, and November. That way, it’ll give him some time to get you a bunch of stuff on Christmas that you DONT already own. Or at least some stuff you don’t already need. 

~Geten❄-Of course he’s number one at hiding how he feels about you. Or maybe more along the line of being a total Tsundere, but believe me he loves you. If that means celebrating this holiday with you then he’s willing to endure it. His grumpy face is getting harder and harder to hide from you. Sometimes you can just barely catch a glimpse of his content smile while you guys build a snowman together. Wanna have some real fun with him? Challenge him to a snow building competition. With his quirk at play you’ll surely lose no matter what, but isn’t it fun to see him bragging his ass off about how he ran circles around your ‘shitty snow project’? 

~Slice💋-She doesn’t hate the holiday, but she DESPISES the cold weather. A lot of her clothes are shorter and sexier by far. Summer is her number one time of the year. Besides, winter dries her skin out, and she hates being under wraps of a thick jacket etc. She can’t even wear her open toed heels!!! Besides that, she’s down for celebrating indoors if you want to. Christmas movies, hot cocoa, and a few make-out sessions are her forte. That’s the best way to do Christmas in her opinion

~Nine🌪-Bake cookies? Sure. Volunteer at shelters? Absolutely. Hang lights around the house/apartment? Yes baby, anything for you. I mean Nine is a ‘yes’ man all year round, but he’s especially willing to agree to things during this time of year. He’s completely whipped for you and there’s nothing wrong with that. He celebrates however you’d like him to do so. There is just one thing he wants to do that he suggested first and that’s either driving slowly through fancy neighborhoods to see their lights up, or going to a Christmas themed petting zoo and feeding carrots to the reindeer. Let’s say he’s a child at heart during this time of year

~Chimera🐺-Literally sees no purpose in celebrating it at all. He’ll do the stuff you want but he’s going to complain the whole way. The only thing he’s big on is saving up his cash and getting you something. The only thing that matters to him is making you happy during the entirety of your relationship (which he hopes is the rest of your lives together). The rest of the stuff he’s just grumbling and putting up with so he can see your smile. 

~Mummy🥋-Christmas? For what? Well okay then, if you say so. Really doesn’t get the point but hey, why not. He’s got nothing better to do. He’s never really celebrated it, His family never really celebrated it either so he’s a little interested in how you get down for it. His favorite thing he developed was this odd present wrapping competition with you. You should already know how good he is at wrapping things due to his quirk (I’m sure he’s shown you how good he is at binding and wrapping stuff before). Add a little competition into anything and he’s ready to do it. Baking competition, Caroling competition, Decorating competition. He’ll even challenge you to who can cuddle each other better. Whatever floats his boat I guess lol

~Gentle Criminal☕-He wants to travel during the holidays with you and he wants to vlog it all. Only if you’re okay with it of course! If you give him the ‘okay’ then he’s whisking you away somewhere overseas for a more extravagant vacation. He ends up spending so much time with you and having so much fun that he stop recording like 3 days in. His reasoning behind travelling is that snow must be so much more fun elsewhere, so of course the rest of the holidays must be as well. In all reality he just wants to make sure you have a fun Christmas. Travelling during it and experiencing different places and cultures are a fun new way to experience the holiday. 

~La Brava📸-Handy with the tech, but mostly with the camera. She amasses an entire compilation of you throughout the day and she’ll stay up all night stitching it together. The day after Christmas comes and she sits you down on the couch to watch it with her. Honestly she’s the sweetest and most dedicated partner that anyone could ask for. The way she treats you makes you thankful not just for spending Christmas with her, but for spending any day of the year with her. 

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Chimerical

Chimerical’s stories aren’t at Gossamer, but you can now find them at AO3. If you have not read them, are you in for a treat! For instance, Regular People and Regular People Still are some of the X-Files fics I have read and re-read. You may also know Chimerical from her site Chimerical Publications, which was an extensive Mulder and David Duchovny fansite. Big thanks to Chimerical for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I’m not surprised at all that X-Files fandom is still popular, it was an amazing, creative show with iconic characters. Aside from just being entertaining, like all good Sci-Fi it asked deep, profound questions about the nature of relationships and humanity. It’s these things that people remember more than the MOWs.

However, I’m surprised to hear that my stories are still read, mostly because there is always something new, someone has a new take, and of course, we have the more recent episodes which provides all new fodder for writers, which is wonderful. But it’s super nice to hear that stories from the classic show still mean something. Also, I wasn’t a prolific writer, there are only 12 stories, but perhaps they struck a chord and people like to revisit them the way you like to re-watch a favorite episode or movie.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

Fanfic is certainly not new, but The X-Files was absolutely at the right place, at the right time. The internet was just really taking off, and it enabled fans to connect instantly in ways that hadn’t before. I remember that Fox used to send out Cease & Desist letters in an ill-considered attempt to stem fanfic because the Suits just didn’t understand what it was. Nowadays, of course, they embrace much of it, encourage it, even. Supernatural wrote whole episodes about it. But in the early days they were really stupid about it.

But what I took away from it was that great community can exist with people you have never met in person. There is a great sharing of ideas and love of great characters.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

It’s true, no Facebook, twitter, tiktok – it seems strange!

But I connected to fandom though the old Usenet message boards, you couldn’t wait until the episode was over until you could leap on and start discussing the episode. And it was painful if you were on the west coast as I was because you would get spoiled. In truth, it wasn’t must different than Twitter, just without the character limitation. But it was rather the wild, wild, west, no moderators and no terms of service. It could be a free-for-all, and some of the disagreements were legendary! For writing, certainly ATXC was the big dog for fic, and of course alt.tv.x-files for discussion. There were many different Yahoo Groups and AOL mailing lists, that catered to interests in fanfic (Friendship/Adult/Slash) or to the characters and/or actors.

But frankly, the main thing I remember was what a complete PITA it was to just get anything posted. There were all these size limitations and ASCII issues that don’t exist today, you had font and formatting limitations, which cause people to get weirdly creative with italics, bolding, quotes and so on. And you had to break your story up in weird way simply to jam it into the email because there were size limitations. And it never failed that no matter how many Beta Reads you had, you didn’t see that last damn typo until AFTER you hit the send button. There was no edit button, all you could do resend the whole damn thing. It was the fanfic version of the 20 mile walk to school through the snow……Kids today have it so easy!  LOL….

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Actors are, and always will be, the face of the show. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are amazing actors, and the nuance they brought each week was a wonder.

But one of the things that the X-Files also did was make people aware of the people behind the scenes, the showrunners, the writers, the directors. This was also something new. For most TV dramas, most people couldn’t tell you who wrote an episode if you had a gun to their head.

But people knew the writers like Vince Gilligan, James Wong, Darin Morgan, and of course Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz. And they knew the directors, Rob, Chris and the late great, Kim Manners.. It was like a repertory company. You could count on Morgan & Wong for the creepy, you could count of Vince Gilligan for the humor and relationship stuff, you could count on Darin Morgan for the “what the hell was that, but I loved it.”

So I guess what I took away was a deep appreciation for the craft, for the work. This carried over to other fandoms. I’m more aware of the creative team beyond the actors.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

Believe it not, I didn’t watch at the beginning. I’ve always been a Sci-Fi fan but for some reason this wasn’t on my radar. I came in about the middle of Season 1. I was channel surfing and stopped the X-Files, it was the episode “Ice.”  I won’t lie, I stopped because I saw David Duchovny in a henley and I’m never one to pass by an attractive man. But as I watched, I became intrigued by these two characters, and their conflicted relationship with each other, even though I didn’t really know what was really going on. But I had to know more. That’s good writing, where you can walk in half-way through an episode and be captured.

I immediately checked out the old AOL Service forums and found a group. Of course, back then, there was no streaming, there was no BitTorrent. So, you just had to wait until when and if the network decided to show a repeat, which meant you were screwed if you were trying to catch up. But someone on one of the boards offered to send me VHS tapes of the episodes of missed. That’s fandom as its best - I’m excited about this and I want to share it with you. So in about a week I was caught up and hooked. I had to see how these two people’s story turned out.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I’ve always written as a hobby, taken many writing classes, have always written short stories, worked on a novel or two. I’ve got friends who are writers by profession. But the closest I ever came to doing it professionally was co-writing a play that ran for a month off Broadway many years ago, so I’m a dabbler, at best. I’m a big reader, and good stories always make me think, “well, what if this happened….”

So, X-Files wasn’t my first fanfic rodeo. I had been involved in Quantum Leap fandom and Beauty and the Beast, some Star Trek. Once I good hooked on the show, I immediately began searching out fanfic. But it took me a long time before I wrote anything. I’m not sure why, perhaps I was waiting to see where the story went. But X-Files was different in that it blended one of my favorite genres with a truly compelling relationship story. And I don’t just mean romance, it was a melding of two entirely different ways of looking at the world that was captivating. Scully was so strong and Mulder so complex, how could you not love them.

So, I enjoy writing, I learn from it. I learn from the feedback, both good and bad. I’ve never understood fanfic writers who say “just sent me nice feedback.”  No one loves criticism, and not all criticism is valid. But you learn from it. I’ve had people tell me they hadn’t looked at an episode from that point of view and they like it - and I’ve had people tell me that I didn’t know what I was doing, everyone knew that Scully would never cuss (to which I say, please, she grew up on military bases!)  But it helps you improve.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

It was a period of my life I cherish because I met some friends who are still my friends to this day, all these years later because we found other things in common besides a show. It was great to share ideas and debate storylines. And it was a fun, creative, and exciting time. Each episode was must-see and then talking to my friends about it later was the best part.

I started to drift away when David Duchovny left the show. I thought then, and still think, they should have called it a day because the beating heart of that show was Mulder and Scully together. You can’t rip out half the heart and expect the patient to live. On an intellectual level, I got why Duchovny left, I got why Anderson stayed and I got that Fox was a fledging network back then and XF was a cash cow. But on an emotional level, it all turned upside down, especially when the much-promised “search for Mulder” never really happened.

Fans got angry. They were angry at David for leaving, they were angry at Gillian for staying, and they were angry at poor Robert Patrick, perfectly decent person, for merely existing. It got ugly and I got up caught up in that. Frankly, I was as much to blame as anyone in carrying on stupid arguments about crap that didn’t matter. And one day I just realized I’d let all the joy be sucked away, and this just wasn’t who I wanted to be, or how I wanted to spend my time. So, I took a break, I still watched the show as it limped on, but I disconnected from the fandom part of it. And by the time I’d had my break, the show was done!

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I’m always a fan. There are many shows I’ve followed and liked, Supernatural, Fringe, Walking Dead, but I don’t get involved in the internet drama. So, I don’t get as invested.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I assume you mean besides Mulder and Scully!  In literature, My favorite writer is John Steinbeck and every character he created was indelible and singular. East of Eden is my favorite book and the characters of Adam & Caleb Trask, as well as Cathy Ames are so well drawn.  Of Mice and Men, Cannery Row, they’re all perfect.  Another favorite book and character is Alexandre’s Demas, The Count of Monte Cristo.  The arc that Edmond Dantès’ life take is quite Mulder-esque.  And of course, Harry Potter, I’m a sucker for a character fighting against overwhelming odds.

On TV, Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap.  That was an amazingly well-crafted series, also featuring a female show runner, Deborah Pratt.  I love the character of Raymond Reddington on The Blacklist, there is something about a completely unapologetic bad guy. I would have once said Dean and Sam Winchester, but sadly that turned into a case of staying too long at the fair and I stopped watching a couple seasons ago - But the early seasons rocked. Literally every single character in M*A*S*H was golden, and they knew when to call it quits. Thomas Magnum from the original Magnum PI. (People my age will still remember the “Did you see the Sun Rise, Ivan” episode!)

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Oddly enough, a few weeks before you reached out to me, I watched the X-Files movie again. I remembered the incredible excitement when it came out. Fox did this tour across the county; it was like a mini-con. But I remember they had the trailer on a loop and my friends and I sat through it so many times we could recite the entire thing by heart. TV shows, such as Star Trek, had made the leap to movie, but I don’t believe a TV show had ever made the leap to films while the show was still on TV. But damn, it was good.

I watched the two recent XF mini-series. They did much to revive the old feeling, especially the episodes by Darin Morgan, who is a national treasure. And it was wonderful to see David, Gillian and Mitch. I’m sorry there won’t be more.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I haven’t in quite a while. Mostly because real life has interfered (work, personal stuff, Covid) over this last year and I have trouble concentrating. But I would certainly return to it, you need the escape of a good story.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Oh yes! But they were all from the time I was writing. Lydia Bower, DashaK, BlueSwirl, XFBandit, Paula Graves, Taverl, Prufrock’s Love, and dozens of other are still on my PC.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Like children, they each have their virtues but some may be harder to love than others. While I love a good smutty MSR, I was also a big fan of conflict resolution. So, I’m going to cheat and split the baby here. Based on feedback, I’d have to day my most popular story was Regular People and its sequel. And I really enjoyed writing that. It’s simple, it’s sweet, it’s what I hope for Mulder and Scully. The chance to just BE, if only for a while.

I wanted to try a slash story, so Wind River. That story was inspired by the murder of Matthew Shepard. I have dear friends in the gay community and I was so angry that this could happen in this country, so that one was about the need to treat people compassionately and who better to do that than Mulder and Scully.

But in truth, my own favorite is one that didn’t get much attention, called Rock Bottom. I wanted to explore that the fact Mulder and Scully, were, on occasion, just truly awful to each other and yet still reason to come back together.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I have a couple unfinished stories. There’s one from Quantum Leap, I want to finish first and when that’s done, I would like to finish the two X-Files that are half-baked.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I do legal writing as a profession now, so I write all day long, but analyzing a case or a legal matter is not the same creatively and I do miss that, so I see returning someday, you need to feed your soul.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Well that’s all over the place, much like my mind! Often I was inspired by something I thought was unaddressed in the episodes. That’s where the Just One series came from. Or it’s a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern kind of thing -- That is, what’s happening off screen while the main action is going on. I find that intriguing, and that’s where Risking Everything came from. The incident in By Coincidence actually happened to a friend of a friend and I thought it would make good fodder. Pentimento came to me following a lecture I attended at a gallery, what happens when you peel back the layers you thought were true. You never know what’s going to connect.

What's the story behind your pen name?

“Chimerical” means existing  as the product of unchecked imagination, given to unrealistic flights of fantasy- which seemed right for a fiction writer, especially for XF. In the early days, it became the phonetic “KiMeriKal” when I was on the old AOL service simply because Chimerical wasn’t available as a screen name! But I’m finally Chimerical1975@gmail.com!

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Yes, my friends are aware, some of them have been my betas over the years. My brother knows I write, but I don’t think he’s ever read anything because he would find the smut elements uncomfortable coming from his little sister!

Is there a place online (Tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

The most recent versions of my stories are at AO3. If I ever get around to anything new it will be posted there as well.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Thanks for reading, thanks for remembering me, and it was a great time in my life. Fandoms are great communities as long as we can always remember there’s a human being at the other end of the keyboard.  Be kind, be compassionate, and never stop imagining the possibilities.

(Posted by Lilydale on February 23, 2021)