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[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs The Good Place S4

“I know this all seems bleak. And it feels like we’re all doomed, and therefore humanity is doomed.” I love that the scope of their problems change with each season

“With this team, there’s no problem we can’t solve.” “There is no problem we can’t create.” Duality of man (sort of)

“You know what I’m saying.” “Oh, I’m not part of this.” Michael’s not going to take any responsibility for Brent

I took a pause between watching S3 and S4 so I don’t remember Matt from Accounting but I’m assuming he was the guy who filed to be Thanos-snapped because he was Accountant of Weird Sex Stuff

I have never seen Manny Jacinto with such a scowl on his face throughout this show omg, I love the Jealousy Arc:

“I believe everything Chidi ever tells me because of his brain and how he looks like one of those owls that graduated from college.” God what I would give to be flattered by the Jason School of Compliments 

“Luckily, before I died, I pumped my face with six vials of juviderm [...] My ex-boyf is gonna be supes jeal.’” I know that John is meant to represent a specific Gossip Influencer personality but it does give me a bit of bone arsenic to watch him speak. Feels hateful LMAO

[Stanley from The Office voice] “That’s not what a hate crime is, Michael.” “Well, I hated it!”

“Are we still boyfriend/not a girlfriend?” Jason is new to relationships but he is trying ❤️

I know Linda the Boring Senior Citizen from Norway could’ve gone any number of directions, but I can’t say I was expecting her to knock four people to the ground and then jump into the sky

LINDA IS CONTINUING HER RAMPAGE IN THE AIR???? GIRL IS THIS ALL BECAUSE ELEANOR CALLED YOU “LINDS”

Update from 30 seconds later: It was the Shirtless Soulmate Gymbro Demon

Tahani did call this one!!

“So you’re saying, wanting to do something isn’t a good reason to immediately do it?” [Proudly] “Yeah.” “Man! I wish someone had taught me this on Earth.” DADDY MIICHAEL TO THE RESCUE AGAIN

The expressions that Janet and Eleanor are leveling at Brent. They are going through it 

“That’s what’s wrong with this country.” “What country?” This is truly what talking to people from the US is like LMAO

Ggkjghkjghg Brent thinking he needs to be in a Better Place than the Good Place. Oh my god

However, repeating right here that I just don’t know if I can believe a Good Place even exists, given everything that we’ve seen

“Perhaps leadership isn’t her forte.” A bold take considering Eleanor has only been leading for two days and Michael had to reboot y’all like 800 times

I think Eleanor’s crisis about being in charge is much more warranted than Team Humanity’s meeting about her failures

“You beat me in 3 months. ‘Okay, a fluke,’ I thought. You then beat me 800 more times.” THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING MICHAEL! AND YEAH THEY DID 😭💗

Michael raises an excellent point about humans with flaws being the ones to understand how best to help other humans with flaws become the best version of themselves

Also. Insane that in this manufactured society where there are Popcorn Rivers and People Can Fly that people are still commenting on how much Eleanor showers??? WHY WOULD PEOPLE NOT CONTINUOUSLY BE IN GOOD PHYSICAL CONDITION ALWAYS IN THE AFTERLIFE?

Brent vouching him being good at keeping secrets by claiming he buried HR complaints (from experience, it doesn’t take much to have an HR that does absolutely fucking nothing to support their employees LOL)

“I’m so sorry to say this, but I can’t be in a relationship with you right now.” JASON TAKING A STEP BACK WHEN JANET MENTIONS HAVING SPACE 😭😭😭 HE IS SUCH A GOOD BOYFRIEND, I HATE THIS

“We have to hope that over time, Brent starts doing good things out of habit.” “Just like you.” KGJHKGJHGKJ I think it’s a bit more than habit, you made the decision to choose being good Eleanor!!!

Honestly I fully believe that Michael had a breakdown on Day 1, he’s been through a lot of stress the past several hundred years

Eleanor introducing Simone as Chidi’s soulmate like she and Chidi haven’t fallen in love (confidently, and without equivocation) hundreds of times ☹️

“I never actually fell in love with someone.” YEAH YOU DID CHIDI!!

“Why not treat them better, just in case they’re real?” Haven’t really talked about it thus far but it’s absolutely BANANAS that Simone’s response to thinking the afterlife isn’t real is to cut off people’s ponytails and push them into pools. Even Jason’s impulses aren’t so directly aimed at people in this way. What happened to ur me vs. us speech, girl!!!

Eleanor and Jason’s sad break-up solidarity high five:

“We need Chidi to live in a world of low-grade dread.” Reintroduce Chidi to capitalism and have him work a minimum wage job

That might be high-grade dread though LMAO

Also I love this drives home that Eleanor specifically is part of what drove him to become a better person!

Fkhfkjfhfjh Eleanor, Michael and Jason planning how to gently torture Chidi while Tahani and Janet plan John’s perfect spa day. Seems like Chidi got the worse end of that stick:

“Would I like to use my time in heaven to audit a philosophy class? Mmm no.” You know what, for the first time: Fair point, John

“There were ants everywhere, but they were so helpful. They carried our wineglasses back and forth, and folded our napkins for us, it was so cute.” Call me a hater but if there were insects in my own personal experience of the afterlife I’d burst into tears

However. Good for the ants, that does sound cute ❤️ 

HAHAHAH JASON BEING UNLEASHED AS A STRESS BOMB ON CHIDI. THE BEGINNINGS (PART 802) OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP

“While you were gallivanting around with your fancy friends, I lived in the real world, so I had bills to pay. I worked 16 hours a day, by myself, building a site with millions of readers.” John actually does make a reasonable observation to Tahani that there is not a level-playing field when it comes to the morality under capitalism and class division:

“But I am seriously worried that I did something wrong, and this is the universe getting back at me.” CHIDI IS SO NICE, IF ANYONE BELONGS IN THE GOOD PLACE IT’S HIM. HE IS CAUGHT BETWEEN A PROMISE (HELP JASON) AND HIS INTEREST IN BEING HONEST AND GOOD 😭💘

“I made God cry?” I know this is because they view The Good Place as heaven but there’s something about Chidi calling the woman he loves God that just gets me right in the heart 💘💘💘💘💘:

Also Michael gently patting Eleanor’s back. Best Demon Dad!!

In Tahani’s defense of having been miserable and lonely with no real friends, she did make some Best Friends Forever eventually, they were just in the afterlife, and then on Earth

JKHKJHFKJHFFJB THE CUT TO JASON WATCHING THE MOTORCYCLE EXPLODE AND GO “NOT AGAIN!” BETWEEN ALL OF THESE EMOTIONAL SCENES

“I really am sorry for all the posts I wrote about you.” John is able to grow 💗 Good for him

Also I love how Tahani is often the one to demonstrate the moral core of this show to characters outside of the main group, which is that goodness comes, in many ways, from a love of other people

“I’m sorry your motorcycle blew up.” “That’s okay homie, that’s just what motorcycles do.” My parents when I wanted to get a motorcycle license

“Genuine human connection will be his course of study.” GO PROFESSOR TAHANI 

“Go get ‘em, Chippy.” Brent constantly saying Chidi’s (two syllable, very familar sounds to English speakers) first name wrong vs. Eleanor saying his last name wrong three seasons ago. Truly Eleanor’s Much More Icky Counterpart 

You know, of all the possible spies the Bad Place could send, Glenn is a good choice, he’s got a very passive aura and seems like he could use some friends

The return of Vicky aka Real Eleanor aka Fake Michael and the Michael suit I honestly completely forgot about after my post-S3 break

“Oh, I’m very upset about this development.” Don’t distrust ur Demon Dad. He’s nice!!!

“I’m a 6,000 ft. tall fire squid. I have tentacles. There’s teeth everywhere. I’m on fire, and my neck is long, and there’s a smell, and lots of juice.” Demon Dad is self-conscious about his friends seeing his previous body. ☹️ LET MICHAEL WEAR WHAT FEELS RIGHT

“I won’t just be Michael. I’ll be some disgusting mass of burning tentacles. Do you really want to be friends with something like that?” Michaelllllllll. Something something the mortifying ordeal of being known

Jason comforting Janet after her first accidental murder. I really hope they can find a situation that works for them

“Oh boy, is this really gonna suck.” Michael offering to literally destroy himself for the good of humanity. If this turns out not to be Michael at any point I will be SO UPSET, he is SUCH A GOOD FRIEND AND DEMON AND PERSON (SORT OF)

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG IT WAS BAD JANET AND JASON KNEW THIS NOT-A-GIRL WAS NOT HIS NOT-GIRL!!!!!

POOR JANET THOUGH ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

“I’m gonna go down there and I’m gonna punch him in the mouth, and I’m going to get Janet back!” YEAHHHHHHHH JASON

“Let’s go get our girl.” “Not a girl.” GOOOOOOO TEAM JASON AND MCIHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, wild that they’re sending Michael to the place where the Michael suit is, like that’s not going to immediately bite them in the ass in terms of keeping track of who they can trust

Michael just dropping that Tahani also has the context of her whole afterlife, offscreen. She deserves her narrative moments!!

“Can I have all my memories back again? I forgot most of them.” Me too, Jason. ALSO LFHKJFHKFH WOW

I think Jason who is infinitely capable of just taking on whatever moral values are in front of him. If he hadn’t grown up in Jacksonville I think he’d be fine 

“Thank you for keeping me safe from my sexy, bad-girl sister-aunt.” I don’t know if this is all those Mommy-Sorry Tiktoks but this somehow feels more transgressive than the Derek’s earlier mommy-girlfriend comments

 [Chuckles] “But to be fair, I wasn’t designed for anything.” ME TOO, DEREK HAHAHA

“Even Derek has an important job. I’d like to be more useful.” Even Tahani has begun lampshading her own lack of narrative purpose this season lmao

SCREAM @ Michael being scared of being in the birthplace of evil (presumably, his own birthplace) while Jason is scared that he and Janet may not have their special connection. He is the perfect boyfriend, no notes

“I love a movie with gentle magic. Give me a time-travelling mailbox, or a mother-daughter body switch, or Sarah Michelle Gellar as a chef and her food tastes amazing because she cries in it.”

Me 🤝 John 

Loving stories with gentle magic in them

“What echoes of this former self await me here?” 

Jason 🤝 Michael 🤝 Me

Having a really hazy and unpleasant memory of high school

HAHAHAHAHA everyone having the most stressful days of their lives (Eleanor subject to Derek’s Single Father to the Neighbourhood Chaos, Tahani trying to wrangle the three morally questionable humans, Jason and Michael in the Bad Place and Janet being held prisoner) while Chidi gets to do a little “puzzle” given to him by His God-(Ex)-Girlfriend. Oh how the turntables

Lmao @ Shawn saying they went overboard on the cheekbones to acknowledge Jason’s incredibly beautiful face

Say what you will about Jason, he has a very practical kind of wisdom. Who else would think to remember an explosive device for every situation 

“I believed that we committed torture as a part of the moral balance of the universe. But I’ve learned that’s wrong. Humans are capable of self-improvement, and so are we. And down deep, Shawn knows this is true, too. I beg you, open your eyes to the truth.” A beautiful speech by Michael, slightly undermined by the demon he just exploded 

TWO demons he just exploded. Rest in pieces Vicky 

He did, however, solve the problem of the Michael suit

“I swear the production value of demon con gets better every year.” This feels like a meta nod to their increased SFX budget every subsequent season hahahaha 

Convinced the fact that Chidi took/takes so long to kiss Eleanor versus kissing Simone so easily is not just because of his ethical obligations but BECAUSE he loves her so much it is that much harder for him to make decision that might change their relationship 

Hahahaha, they spent so much money on SFX they couldn’t afford the location fees to shoot on a lake:

(You could also make the point that it’s supposed to look that way since it’s a simulation, but I’m pretty sure Chidi was rowing on an actual lake in S1. Maybe it was also a timing thing hahah)

“Plus, your parties aren’t pointless. They’re opportunities for them to bond and form friendships. You know, the thing we need them to do so we’re not all tortured forever?” Eleanor recognizing Tahani’s strengths as part of the group 💗

“But if we ever get through this, I want to learn how to do something meaningful.” Love that for Tahani 💖

“You’re not a demon anymore. You’re just a nice, weird, happy old dude.” Awwww Jason and Michael BFFs 4ever

JASONJANET BACK TOGETHER BAYBEEEEE:

Fkfjhfjhf this Michael Bad Janet storytime feels like a departure in energy after all the intensity of the last ep

Absolutely fucking obssessed with the Hottest Saviour of the Week, and according to this picture here’s the ongoing counts:

Eleanor: 10 (exclusively self-nominated)

Janet: 7

Tahani: 5 (one blocked by where Eleanor is standing but the background is in another shot)

Jason: 3

Michael: 0 (as it should be, no Demon Daddy objectification)

“Her name was Scarlett Pakistan, and she was the type of girl you couldn’t take in all at once, or you’d die.” UHKHFKJHFJHF BRENT TRULY REPRESENTING WHITE MEN WRITING BROWN WOMEN. Rough stuff, Tahani 

“That’s how I got my nickname, The Defendant.” I feel like this doesn’t quite match the energy of Donkey Doug or Pillboi

“Where does this hope come from man? This insane hope that people are worth the trouble?” From Michael’s heart, Bad Janet 💟

I’m gonna be real with you I forgot that no one knew Jason wasn’t Jianyu and I thought that John was having that dramatic reaction over seeing Chidi dance LMAO

Simone makes a very good point of not needing to tolerate racism and misogyny for the sake of kindness

“If this [golf advice of doing better on the next shot] ends up applying to any other aspect of your life later on, then cool.” Hahahahah Michael speaking the only language Brent can understand: Sports metaphors

Very expected that Brent was unable to handle the slightest bit of criticism, even as it directly relates to people he hurt WITH HIS BOOK LOL

“Why not be a bigger person and rise above it?” “I’ll tell you why. Because doing that sends a message that it’s okay to be treated this way. And it’s not okay to treat anyone that way.” Simone continues to make incredibly reasonable points

Chidi said: My fight, flight, freeze instinct does occasionally land on fight

“What matters isn’t if people are good or bad. What matters if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday.” MICHAEL FOR BEST AT UNDERSTANDING HUMANS AND MORALITY IN THE UNIVERSE 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘��💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

Michael being better today than he was yesterday by letting Bad Janet go 😭😭😭😭😭 I LOVE HIM

GJHGKJHGKJHG not Simone uncovering the entire plot of the neighbourhood hours before the experiment ends

“Panicking about this experiment at crucial moments is kinda my move.” Michael said: There’s only room for one anxiety disorder in this friendship, Eleanor

“You never told me about this, Ducky.” The demise of the Simone/Chidi relationship over their respective secret Good Place Experiment hidden professional endeavours

Simone, as a neurologist researcher, is perhaps the most difficult profession to have in this experiment because of course she can see science when she is right in front of it

“We do nothing, and we hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we’ve become. Like Facebook. Or America.” ROUGH BUT REAL 

You know what they say. When the going gets tough, the tough put on a magic show to distract the four people whose ignorance remains crucial to the fate of humanity:

Afjlkjflkjflkfj Jason coherently describing their Hail Mary and Prevent Defense strategy analogy. HE DOES LEARN

Brent 🤝 Jason

Only being able to understand the universe through sports metaphors 

“I respect your position.” “I respect yours.” “Look, I know everything’s really scary right now but I just have to say it. That was the most boring break-up I’ve ever seen.” Accurate but rude, John 

WHY IS CHIDI THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT THE INHERENT VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE? SIMONE, AGAIN, I ASK ABOUT YOUR ME VS. US SPEECH

“If there’s one thing I know in this world, it’s that you can ALWAYS blow up the same thing twice.” JASON, UR SO RIGHT BABY

Lowkey it is traumatizing for both Chidi and Eleanor to have someone they have loved pretending to be their eternal torturer (even if is half true)

It takes Chidi, the most ethical and empathetic person in the world, calling Brent a bad person for him to maybe consider stepping outside his own experiences to care about other people for half a second 

NOT THE EXPERIMENT ENDING MID-BRENT’S APOLOGY:

“Yes, and here’s a bottle of tequila.” [Cheerily] “Okay, let us know how it goes.” Michael knows the way to his surrogate daughter’s heart LMAO

“Oh man, are we gonna die again? We’ve died so many times. We’ve probably had like, 15 funerals by now.” Jason is right, this must really warp their sense of their own life

“You’re a choker, Michael. And you’re about to choke for the last time. Except for the eternity you’re going to spend in the Bad Place being choked by me, who will be doing the choking.” [Tearfully] “Well you’re glue!” 😭😭😭😭😭 MICHAEL

NOT THEM WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S-ING CHIDI SO HE CAN BE PART OF THE FUNERAL PARTIES

Also Eleanor’s explanation of his jacked physique coming from his anxiety. On brand LMAO 

Also also also the fact that Janet could DEFINITELY transport him by strength or teleport but she’s just watching them struggle HAHAHA

Not Brent somehow getting 1% worse than he was on Earth gkjhgjhgjh

The Weekend at Bernie’s vibes only increase. Chidi is impressively still

“I got born in the deep end of a pool, right after my mom did a cannonball.” 1) Can’t believe this is the first we’re hearing of Jason’s mum and 2) That tracks

“But despite it all, he was the most optimistic person I’ve ever met.” This is why I am in love with Jason

“That’s my Jason. A big colourful rainbow blob, stuffed inside a hot life-size action figure.” I love Janet explaining why she loves Jason. Also, now I want to be flattered by the Janet School of Compliments

Jason 🤝 Janet

Whipping out the best compliments in the world on the fly

So far, Jason’s poolside funeral is my favourite:

Michael proving that the Soul Squad actually made the people they care about better in tangible ways 🥺❤️‍🩹

“People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLL

“But what that number can’t tell you... is who he could’ve become tomorrow.” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT’S A GOOD SHOW

“Tahani taught me that you can make a family, even if you never really had one. Jason taught me that I have value beyond what I do for other people. And Eleanor, there was a moment on Earth when all hope was lost, and I watched you have hope anyway.” JANETTTTTTTTTTT 😭💞😭💞😭💞😭💞😭💞

“I never felt quite so seen as when she saw me.” First ‘that’s gay, Tahani,’ of the season!!!!

HKJHRKJHKGJHKJGHJ THEY WON AND THE SOLUTION IS TO CANCEL EARTH? THIS IS WHY I HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME BELIEVING THERE IS AN ACTUAL GOOD PLACE, IT JUST DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THERE’S ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO GO THERE 

BAD JANET TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!!!! MICHAEL’S FRIENDS ALWAYS COME THROUGH

“It’s not two of us, it’s all of us.” THE JANET REVOLUTION!!!!!!! RISE OF THE JANETS!!!

I love that they’re delivering on the Disco Janet joke they dropped a season ago LMAO

“You want to take the most indecisive man ever born, stuff him full of over 800 different versions of himself, and tell him he has, like what, 45 minutes to save humanity?” GO CHIDIIIIIIII

Not Chidi’s first research project being on why his parents shouldn’t get divorced. We have finally unlocked his childhood trauma

Chidi 🤝 Me

Parents who should be divorced perhaps but instead stayed married 

Chidi philosophizing his way out of a relationship is very on-brand

Awwwww I love these flashbacks of all the things we know about Chidi but with new added perspectives (more about why he and Alessandra broke up, the failure of his thesis, the way he makes decisions, the lead-up to him meeting Eleanor, Jason and Janet’s first wedding)

Sidenote: IS THAT DIGITAL GETDOWN I HEAR IN THE BACKGROUND!!! ITS THEIR SONG BAYBEE

“Where I’m from, most things blow up eventually. So I’ve learned when something dope comes along, you gotta lock it down. If you’re always frozen in fear and taking too long to think about what to do, you’ll miss your opportunity, and maybe get sucked into the propeller of a swamp boat.” Very solid life advice from Jason to Chidi

The way Chidi kept falling for Eleanor regardless of who his soulmate was, even despite his loyalty to the concept of soulmates 💗

 “Woof, that’s too much to put on an eight-year-old.” I will keep saying it: I know it’s not in my best interests to identify with Chidi... and yet

“Soulmates aren’t real, are they?” “Chidi, in all honesty, I don’t know. but I don’t think so.” MAYBE THE REAL SOULMATES WERE THE FRIENDS WE FOUND ALONG THE WAY

“You wake up every day and you solve [the puzzle of life] again.” CHIDIIIIIIII

HAHAHAHAHA CHIDI’S FIRST QUESTION AFTER WAKING UP BEING IF HE HAS BEEN ANNOYING THEM FOR 300 YEARS 

I AM LITERALLY GOING TO CRY THIS IS SO SWEET 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Hahahahaa Chidi said: New timeline, new me, baybee. I am over my indecision anxiety now!!!!

Jason’s concern that eliminating humanity is a bummer is valid

Hahahahah Chidi and Eleanor asking the other if they want to get out of here tickles me

“Chidi should hook up with the judge to get us out of trouble. I’ve done that a bunch of times. It’s called a Jacksonville Plea Bargain.” 1) Someone please help Jason and the state of Florida 2) This statement made me curious to look up how many female judges there are in the Middle District of Florida (where Jacksonville is) purely to determine logically whether Jason hooked up with a man and the answer as of 2020 is 6 out of 14 are female (none self-identify as LGBTQ). So Jason could’ve reasonably gotten these plea deals “a bunch of times” by only by hooking up with women, actually! Sexuality math

But happy Pride Month to Jason, who, while his heart belongs to Janet, whenever he is in a new timeline is liable to propose to literally anyone who he enjoys talking to

“Shut up. Shut up. Hi. Shut up. I’m confident now.” Chidi’s energy is a bit all over the place in times of crisis lmao

"I don’t care if everyone loses, as long as you lose.” Shawn truly willing to cut off his nose (the current system of the afterlife) to spite his face (the four humans he’s been trying to torture for 300 years)

Disco Janet’s marbelized form being a mini disco ball is perfect 10/10 production choices

The Soul Squad offering too take on eternal torture so that the rest of humanity can have a normal, medium afterlife 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

LMAO @ JANET MAKING A TIMOTHY OLYPHANT TO GET THE JUDGE TO HEAR THEM OUT 

THE SYSTEM BEING THAT U KEEP GETTING A SHOT AT BEING A BETTER PERSON UNTIL U ACE IT 💗💗💗💗 ELEANOR, CHIDI, TAHANI, JASON AND MICHAEL, THE LOVES OF MY LIFE

“Then, what are we doing to their penises?” “Well, largely, ignoring them.” [Throws hands up in frustration] RIP the penis-bees

“Getting rebooted over and over again made me a better not-a-person than I’ve ever been. Humans should get the same opportunity.” YEAH JANET!!!

“Fighting you is the most fun I’ve ever had.” It’s almost Death Note-esque in the being consumed by targeting the other person so much you get attached. I guess Shawn is the Light in this situation. (Although L does engage in recreational torture)

"You have to read my file right now!” “What? I’m confused, is this a game? Is it a sex game, somehow?” LMAO and big hearts at Chidi, the guy who wanted all the world’s answers, being totally fine with whatever Eleanor has ever done, whether he gets to read it in her file or not (Eleanor is the answer ❤️)

LHFKJHKJHGKJGH VICKY AKA REAL ELEANOR AKA FAKE MICHAEL COMING BACK TO VOLUNTEER AS THE IN-BETWEEN PLACE’S FIRST ARCHITECT:

(Also Vicky’s right, she looks super hot, this is perfect lighting, outfit, makeup, everything)

SCREAMS at Chidi concluding based on every insane thing that Eleanor has ever done that actually she’s coped pretty well and she’s super interesting and it is he that’s too boring for her 😂 He is so funny 

HAHAHAHAHA I know she brought up this thread of looking up the sexuality of presidents earlier but: 

Me 🤝 Eleanor 

Constantly trying to assess everyone we read about (or watch) to see if they’re bisexual

“Are you saying... Janet might get bored of me?” Chidi has passed his eternal romantic dread onto Jason like a common cold

“Think of it as, flattening the penises of their heart.” “Oh! Now it makes sense.” Vicky Bad Place: Demon Educator 

“Once on Earth, I didn’t know something and I had to ask Alexa. I felt dirty.” HAHAHAHAHA

Me 🤝 Janet

Having a one-sided grudge with Alexa 

Poor Michael, his purpose for so long has been solving problems, he doesn’t know what to do without something to overcome (mood)

OMG JASON TRICKED CHIDI INTO TALKING HIMSELF OUT OF HIS ROMANTIC DREAD 💝 THAT’S MY MAN. STREET SMARTS!!!! 

It tickles me whenever they mention what they actually are underneath the skin suits. I hope someone has drawn Michael and Vicky having this workplace conversation as a Fire Squid and Acid Snake

“Turns out that saving every soul in the universe is worth a few points.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 THEM!

Honestly all of these things considered, I still have trouble believing in the Good Place as they’ve previously described it, so I have no idea what these last couple episodes are going to be about

God I love these five people and not-people so much:

What, I wonder, would you do if you have a fear of heights, if the only way to go to the Good Place is via hot air balloon? 

“What if that’s some sort of demon alarm to alert the cops that I’m here?” THE HEAVEN COPS, MICHAEL? THERE ARE COPS IN HEAVEN? 

Also 

Me 🤝 Michael

Being uncomfortable in sacred places and assuming you’re going to be persecuted for a crime you didn’t know you committed

STOPPPP this is such a funny candy, I DO miss the energy I had when I was twelve:

Hahahaha, the fact that all the male philosophers are not in the Good Place. That tracks 

MICHAEL GETTING TO BE A GOOD PLACE ARCHITECT 🥺❤️ IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES, PLEASE BE REAL

“This room is filled some of the most interesting people that ever lived. Chat them up, learn about their lives, then meet back here so that we can make fun of them.” Eleanor’s first advice in the Good Place is not the most kind-spirited LMAO

“Now you are officially in charge of the Good Place [...] You’re the boss now. That was all legally binding, and we all quit, effective immediately.” I KNEW I WAS RIGHT TO BE SUSPICOUS LMAO

THIS IS WHY I DON’T BELIEVE IN THE GOOD PLACE, IMMEDIATELY IT’S SASS AND TRICKERY LMAO

“You gotta help us, we are so screwed.” AHA!!! THE OTHER GOOD PLACE SHOE DROPS

“I would’ve killed for a vaccine. Any vaccine. It’s crazy that you guys just don’t like them now.” THE FACT THIS EP AIRED IN JANUARY OF 2020 LMAO. They really touched a timely nerve

Omggggg okay so we’re getting into the Good Place Problem: Being in infinite supply of experiences and desires, your brain atrophies?????

I guess this entire group of people has also been left unattended for 500 years which doesn’t help

“We need to find the Committee.” “The Committee is me. I am Committee. It me.” Me when I say ‘we’ about my job as if I am not literally the only person in my department:

I honestly don’t know if I buy into the idea that death and finite experience is the only thing that gives life meaning. I think the idea of having some agency in whether or not you continue your afterlife makes sense. But the implication you cannot sustain a life based on happiness, or that struggle is what gives people personhood, doesn’t sit right with me. Personhood is an act of love for yourself and others

“And when you’re ready, walk through one last door and be at peace.” I DO like that this acknowledges that for some people, paradise is not infinite consciousness but can also be found in letting go of consciousness

Hypatia said: Maybe the real Good Place was the friends we found along the way (she was right)

“I think that’s what the Good Place is. It’s not even a place, really. It’s just having enough time with the people you love.” Chidi said: I second that, Hypatia

[Sarcastically but sweetly, after Eleanor jokingly threatens to leave] “I’ll miss you.” CHIDIIIIIIIIII

OMG TEACHING ETHICS LESSONS IN THE GOOD PLACE, BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN BE BETTER THAN THEY WERE THE DAY BEFORE ❤️

“Never not excited about frogs, that guy.” ME TOO JEFF THE EARTH DOORMAN AKA BURT HUMMEL, FROG DESK SOLIDARITY

“At one point, hundreds of Bearimys ago, I turned off my ability to know what time it is anywhere in the universe when you and I are together.” JANET UR SO ROMANTIC, JASONJANET X INFINITY

Awwww it tracks that Jason would be the first person to be certain his needs were met. But that’s so complicated when your partner is an infinite being like Janet!!! Like what are the mechanics of dealing with a loss that is the cessation of someone who matters most to you

Shout-out to Young Doug Forcett, who is firmly done with his pisswater era

“I really am okay. I promise.” “Will you come talk to me if you’re not?” “Always.” Michaellll 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Janet!!!!

“I’m scared Janet’s gonna forget me. Here falling in love with someone else, I’d be fine with that. Like if Jason Momoa or Lara Croft, Tomb Raider gets in, and Janet’s like, ‘That’s what up,’ totally cool! But her forgetting me would be sad.” JASONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

A LOCKET SO JANET CAN ALWAYS HAVE A PART OF JASON WITH HER, I AM SO SAD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:

“To me, remembering moments with you is the same as living them.” STOP IT RIGHT NOW

“Can you just remember the happy times and forget the bad stuff?” “There was no bad stuff. It was all good.” I AM IN TEARSSSSS 

I love Tahani being in her Crafty Girl Afterlife Era

Tahani and Kamilah representing the absolute flabbergastedness one experiences when a parent admits a wrongdoing or has a learning experience:

Tahani having a special last goodbye with her best friends even after healing all of the other relationships, because the Soul Squad/Team Cockroach/Team Humanity is her first and chosen family 😭❤️

“I admire you so very much. Your strength, your toughness, your self-esteem, not to mention... you have a rockin’ bod.” OH HOW THE TURN TABLES, TAHANI!!!! 

“I want to learn to do what you do, Michael. I want to be an architect, design afterlives.” MY GIRL TAHANI GETTING HER PURPOSE IN LIFE

“I hope you don’t mind if I brag about knowing you.” “Name dropping is a little gauche, Michael, but do as you must.” Tahaniiiiii. I do love how her story is wrapping up

I enjoy that Uzo gets to see Chidi post-his 800-Universe-Decision-Making-Immersion-Therapy. 

Eleanor trying her hardest to keep Chidi in the afterlife even though he’s almost done 😭 Also the pictures of the four humans in Michael’s office

“If you leave, then I’m alone here.” AHHHH ELEANOR. They’ve really turned the afterlife into Earth Lite

“Can we eat words? Because I’ve asked Janet about this and—” Chidi said: One day an academic rival told me I’d eat my words and it’s been my dream ever since

Eleanor loving Chidi enough to let him go vs. Chidi loving Eleanor enough to hold in for several bearimys that he has been ready to leave 💔

CHIDI SAYING GOODBYE WITH A SEXY CALENDAR. HE KNOWS THE LOVE OF HIS (AFTER)LIFE:

SCREAM JASON WAITING FOR JANET TO COME BACK TO THE FOREST FOR A THOUSAND BEARIMYS. THANK YOU FOR IMMEDIATELY HEALING THE WOUND OF CHIDI LEAVING HAHAHAHAA

“I sort of just sat quietly and let my mind drift away, thought about you and the infinity of the universe.” “Kind of like a monk.” JANET HAS BEEN WAITING OVER 4 WHOLE SEASONS TO MAKE THIS JOKE HAHAHAHA

ALSO HOW COULD JANET, WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING, NOT KNOW THAT JASON WAS STILL AROUND

Dhkjfhjkfhfkjh it would be very weird if Eleanor’s actual unfinished business was Mindy St. Claire of the Medium Place

Update from 1 minute later: It was not 

Tahani saying, “As I neither live nor breathe,” is a fun little line

Michael being unable to cope without something productive to fill his time ghjkghgkjhg. Anxiety icon 

“I’m gonna be...” “A real boy, Pinocchio.” MICHAEL GETS TO BE HUMAN? I LOVE THAT FOR HIMMMMM ❤️‍🩹

“I won’t exactly know what’s going to happen after I die. Nothing more human that that. Besides texting people that you’re five minutes away when you haven’t even left the house.” How many Bearimys does it take for us to evolve past phones hahahahaha

Does mean that Eleanor will be in charge of The Good Place?? White women dominating the non-profit industry strike again (I kid)

MICHAEL GIVING JEFF THE EARTH DOORMAN A REAL FROG!!!! I LOOOOVE HIM

Kinda wild that Michael starts his human life at like, what, age 50? That’s like 30-40 years if he’s lucky. Why doesn’t he get to start as a baby? Not consistent enough?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL NAMING HIS DOG AFTER JASON:

“I hate to see you walk through the final door at the edge of existence, but I love to watch you leave.” ICONIC GOODBYES FROM JANET AND ELEANOR, ONE OF THE STRONGEST DYNAMICS IN THE SHOW

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL’S EARTH NAME BEING MICHAEL REALMAN

I truly wondered how this show would end and I guess the glowing embers of Eleanor’s last bit of existence blessing Michael with a Coyote Joe’s card while he says to a good samaritan, his friends, and by extension the audience, “Take it sleazy,” is as good a way as any! 

Final thoughts: I really do love the way this show is written, how everything is intentional, how it’s so focused on love and connection and growth, and how each season manages to engage you with a different question. It’s interesting how, although they often use Heaven as a point of reference, this ending was a bit more Hindu/Buddhist in its leanings (i.e. liberation from physical incarnation/rebirth—and in the sense their testing system as that reincarnation cycle—through the accumulation of positive karma or liberation from desire). Ironically, even as someone who is Hindu, I still do think personhood is an act of love, and I feel like that ‘love for love’s sake,’ idea was a little lost in these final few episodes. But all the same, going into it this was my favourite show (even having only seen 2 seasons) and it still is. It’s a good show!!!! I love every character, and I feel satisfied with their stories! 

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs The Good Place S3

Michael personally intervening on behalf of all of his friends is SO SWEET. I love him

Honestly I am eating up Tahani’s fake Vogue interview, I love one (1) out-of-touch celebrity

“K, will you make me the happiest man in the world and agree to be my wife?” Jason proposing to every person he meets is also endearing in its own way. He’s so sincere about it LMAO

Patiently awaiting when he proposes to Chidi and Eleanor. Even Pillboi was not immune 

Honestly sneaking around and altering the mechanics of the universe that more powerful immortal beings are overseeing has worked in Michael’s favour so far, so why stop now?

Silly of them not to caption it, but pretty certain Chidi’s French dialogue exchange was, “T’es prêt, Chidi?” “Allez-y sans moi, je suis là.” “D’accord. À tout à l'heure.” (”Ready Chidi?” “Go on without me, I’m [almost] there.” “Alright. See you later.”)

Eleanor getting immediately defensive about being present for Chidi as if they have not been drawn together in like 800 separate universes:

“Chidi, your brain is broken, you need to fix your brain.” Uzo said: Good friends tell you when you need therapy

“You just march into my office unannounced, tell me your brain is broken, and demand I drop everything and just put you in the university’s 3 million dollar MRI machine?” This is why Chidi and Eleanor are soulmates LMAO. Very goal-oriented 

���You’re so weird. Let’s go!” I like Simone even though I’m certain she’s not Australian

Hahahahahah Eleanor imagining everyone in every story as sexy explains a lot about how she operates. That and she has hot friends

“We torture like 30 billion humans. Why do you care so much about these four?” Glenn asks a very reasonable question

Hahahaha I wonder how they decide what things to describe as objectively terrible in this show. Is it one writer or is it by committee

“Goodness isn’t something that a person inherently has. It’s something that she achieves through her actions.” I love how in every abstract example they use ‘she’ instead of ‘he.’ Both because Eleanor is the main character and because it’s refreshing

“I can’t just do things like that.” Chidi confirming he has never made a move on anyone and has only been subject to his girlfriend’s moves

“I’ve been running simulations on what their kids would be like. One of them is hot enough to be on The Bachelor, and smart enough to never go on The Bachelor.” LMAO JANET 

Also Michael said: Team Cheleanor 4 eternity (me too)

Also also also: Janet finally embracing Michael as her dad for one (1) minute hahaha

Michael’s love and want to help his friends also being their downfall 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭:

“I was never really that into her, no offense.” Eleanor immediately charming Tahani by not caring about her sister hahah

Tahani said: Uno reverse, I’m the Buddhist monk now, Jason

Tahani turning her near death experience and subsequent moral crisis into a self-help book that makes her more rich and well-known than before. Honestly good for her, get ur money girl

“I want you thinking about dance 24/7. That means every day you think 20 thoughts about dance for seven minutes.” Jason’s dialogue continues to be as iconic on Earth as it was in the afterlife 

I love that we’re finally meeting Donkey Doug of the Sixty-Person-Dance-Crew-Boogie-Board-Moral-Relativism story:

Fhfhkfhfkjhfkjfh all the people who walked out because they weren’t allowed to crime LOL

“When I’m with you, I feel like the sky’s the limit.” Pillboi is also a good friend, if not a good person kghjkghgj

“But I met new friends who helped me become a better... person.” I love Michael and Jason’s existential heart-to-hearts. I think he resonates with Eleanor and Jason most for obvious reasons

Also the hesitation for Michael to describe himself as a person HA

I also love the Side Arc of Michael making friends with Burt Hummel, the Doorman to Earth Who Loves Frogs:

“We did it, Janet. We got away with it,” said Michael, in what I’m sure isn’t foreshadowing of this immediately biting them in the ass

OMG NOT THE RETURN OF ADAM SCOTT AS TREVOR THE ME TOO DEMON LMAO

I won’t lie to you, it wasn’t until the whip-it cannisters that I understood that a whip-it is a physical object and not an action, and apparently a more sophisticated equivalent of huffing glue. Who knew? Not me!

“Darling do you remember all the rules about what can and cannot be worn in an MRI?” Tahani calling Eleanor darling <3 Also take off the metal girl 

JANET’S ON EARTH AND READY TO FIGHT FOR HER HOMIES:

(Drive-by commentary that Janet is hot—the uniform suits her!)

Janet and Michael are really struggling to deal with their mortal coil(s)

Firm believer that consensual sex between informed adults is morally neutral, but Tahani and Jason flirting does feel like infidelity lol (poor Janet)

“I’m sorry, but [not being friends] is just how it has to be.” IS THAT TRUE, CHIDI

Demon-All-Knowing-Personal-Assistant-Nicer-Demon standoff in the bathroom

“I got a solid eight minutes, not consecutively, but that’s fine. You’re barely even blurry.” I know it’s probably not in my best interests to strongly identify with Chidi but I strongly identify with Chidi

I’m very glad that Jason and Tahani didn’t drunkenly hook up but I do still view any of their flirting as an affront to Jason’s wife Janet LOL

“I’m asking you as a friend,” said Chidi, while simultaneously also not letting go of the belief that it’s unethical for them to be friends

“These four humans are all I care about in the universe.” MICHAEL ❤️

NOT THE JUDGE BLAMING MICHAEL AND JANET FOR BREXIT AND THE GREATEST SHOWMAN LMAO

I was certain Simone wasn’t Australian but it turns out that she’s British which kind of tracks accent-wise

“Good luck, Frog Man. I’m pulling for you.” HAHAHAHAHA Jeff (Burt Hummel) is a perfect addition to Michael’s incredible group of friends

They also all have in common a disregard for authority

NOT JANET AND MICHAEL STALKING THEIR FRIENDS LMAO

“I’m sad to inform you I’m too stupid and ugly to be in the study and I’m going home to my mommy.” Michael’s schoolyard insults are something else

I do think Eleanor having to work an in-between job would help provide a sense of normal moral conditions for her. Morality does not exist in a vacuum of your closest homies, even if Janet and Michael want it to be so 

“If I’m going to the mall anyway, I might as well pick Jason up some jean shorts. The kind with the frayed edges, where you can see the pockets coming out of the bottom. So that he can study better.” Janet wanting to get her secret husband a Christmas present

Tahani hooking up with Larry Hemsworth who also has self-worth issues in relation to his more famous siblings hahahahha

“You and Jason, imagine that. Actually, I have.” Eleanor is truly attracted to ALL of her friends

“I gotta go barf one last time, and then I’ll be ready to study philosophy.” That sums up my university experience

I know it’s just one little split-screen but Eleanor singing happy birthday (which she said she hated doing for coworkers) while Jason reads a philosophy book on his own time...... I love them

“I can’t wait til we move far away from the likes of you, and I can finally take her last name.” I’m kind of rooting for Larry Al-Jamil

“Feeling like your little team is the last thing standing between you and oblivion, and that at any moment, the universe could fold up around you and squeeze the last breath from your dying lungs.” Michael’s pep talks have gotten a lot more morose since the Sports Bar

“Let’s all stay here, and keep it going,” said Eleanor, in a moment of emotional vulnerability that she is definitely going to regret immediately

Eleanor smashing a cake out of caring about other people too much vs. her first smashing a cake out of caring about her self-preservation too much is really a full circle moment:

“As humans evolved, the first big problem we had to overcome was ‘me vs. us.’ Learning to sacrifice a little individual freedom for the benefit of the group. You know, sharing food and resources so we don’t starve or get eaten by tigers, things like that. The next problem to overcome is ‘us vs. them.’ Trying to see other groups, different from ours, as our equals.” Ohhhhhh we’ve hit upon the moral underpinning of the season. Hello, our new Kierkegarde

“This is all we have, Janet. We have Chidi, and Eleanor, and Tahani and Jason and that is it.” Michael I think it’s time for you to make some new friends 

“Serious question? Should we kill them?” HAHAHAH MICHAEL. He said improvise adapt overcome baybeee

Once again the rules of the afterlife seem so unfair because they learned about it by accident and they’re just people who really love their friends

I love how absurd this show is. I 100% accept that time in the afterlife moves in a Jeremy Bearimy and that nothing never happens on Tuesdays and July

“Now that I know how it all ends, I just want to be virtuous for virtue’s sake.” Tahani takes down the concept of moral desserts in one single sentence:

Also her skin is literally sparkling, everyone in this show is SO pretty

Honestly shocked it’s taken this long for Chidi to quote Nietzsche 

Chidi said: I heard you were calling everyone hot, I would like to submit my name for consideration:

Also Chidi finally fulfilling the ‘surprisingly ripped’ prophecy with a full-length shot of himself shirtless LOL

“And then, a recommendation of how we feel the afterlife could be improved. And we turn ourselves in, we’ll give it to the judge. Hopefully she’ll read it. We failed, Janet. But maybe one day, someone else will succeed.” Michael having goals of improving the afterlife beyond his immediate circle of friends 😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘 I LOVE ONE (1) DEMON

 The little nod to the young-person-older-person tech divide with Michael

“In America, everyone does what they want. Society did break down. It’s terrible, and it’s great!” HAHAHAHAH I know someone enjoyed writing that

Eleanor going on a whole adventure for this man’s wallet ❤️ That’s my girl

HAHAHHAA is the concept of getting into heaven the only thing between Chidi and knocking around mountains of junk food shirtless at a grocery store:

Chidi’s boisterous “Hello!” after the morose groceries got me 

The cut between Chidi giving up his car and not really seeing anymore purpose to anything he does in life and Tahani and Jason joyfully chucking money to people is this meme:

Also Jason offering money to the baby is PERFECT, I LOVE HIM

“I could’ve gone to a real doctor, instead of pretending I was a big dog, so I could go to the vet.” Will someone save the United States of America

If Canada ever privatizes healthcare, I will have to move or die

It’s actually the mark of a good bank that they won’t just let Tahani impulsively transfer all her money, prevents financial abuse

“You’re a good person, Eleanor. I really hope my daughter turns out like you when she grows up.” ELEANOR 😭😭😭😭😭😭

HAHAHAHHAAH CHIDI’S STUDENTS WATCHING HIM MAKE M&M-PEEPS-CHILLI

“The actual ethical system that you should all follow is nihilism.” The meme was foreshadowing. I don’t know why I didn’t expect it become explicit, he is a moral philosophy professor

CHIDI TRYING TO TAKE THE CHILLI WITH HIM LMAO:

NOT JASON AND TAHANI GETTING MARRIED. WHERE DOES BIGAMY FALL ON THE POINTS SCALE LMAO

Appreciate the immediate clarification it was platonic tho

I don’t blame Tahani for forgetting Larry Hemsworth because I also forgot Larry Hemsworth until he reappeared even though it was literally one episode ago they established their engagement kghkjghg 

All of them deciding to be better people for other people’s sake, including Janet and Michael, who are not people 💗 [CHIDI VOICE] SIMPLY PUT, WE ARE NOT IN THIS ALONE 

“Nathan Burlingame.” “Didn’t like you.” “Kylie Mansnard?” “Thought you were cool but intimidating.” “No way! I thought she was intimidating. That’s why I shoved her into that creek.” I love that we’re acknowledging Eleanor’s bisexuality outside of her friend group

Happy Pride Month to Eleanor, whose methods of showing affection are consistent

“I’ve done that to dozens of people, and all of them got over it.” “Actually, none of your exes have ever got over you.” “You’re damn right they didn’t.” Hee hee hee Eleanor 

“I’ve heard you mention your friend Pillboi many times, but I’ve not heard you mention your father once.” “What do you mean? I talk about Donkey Doug all the time.” WHAT!!!!!!!!!!! HONESTLY THIS HAS SHOCKED ME MOST IN THE SHOW SINCE THE REVEAL OF THE BAD PLACE

Jason’s Dad Donkey Doug 🤝 Eleanor’s Mum

Immediately hitting on their child’s partner when they meet

“That’s the first time that line has ever failed.” Jason touching his heart like he’s proud of her for not having sex with his dad LMAO:

“Do you spray it on yourself, or do you drink it?” “You both it.” Someone give Pillboi an MBA

“More guys should be bi. It’s 2018. It’s like, get over yourselves.” HAHAHAH Eleanor, defeating internalized biphobia, one guy at a time

Michael 🤝 Chidi

Fixing all of their problems with reset buttons

Unequivocally, someone dumping me while giving me a puppy would be the best way to break up and I would forgive them immediately. Chidi has cracked the code:

HAHAHAHAH ELEANOR USING HER TIME IN THE SIMULATION TO VIRTUALLY MAKE OUT WITH SIMONE 

“You hooked us up with [redacted] channels every year since the third grade.” MAYBE DONKEY DOUG SHOULD BE IN JAIL

“What a weird creep. Why was I friends with him?” HAHAHA Tahani finally name drops someone who she dislikes and it’s Elon Musk, perfect

[Talk-To-The-Hand Gesture] “Ya dumped.” KHGHGKHGKJ this is what happens when you spend so much time with Eleanor. Also how did we get from puppies to this

“Hey, call me Donkey Dad.” Awwww. I don’t think prison would make Donkey Doug better but he definitely made the right call in taking the blame for the factory robbery

“My feelings have changed. I wish I could tell you why, but I can’t.” This is both honest and also alludes to the fact that Chidi can and will have feelings for Eleanor

Michael’s little [“you okay”] smile to Janet when Jason calls Tahani his wife ☹️☹️☹️☹️

Tahani’s immediately hostile expression on learning that one of Eleanor’s parents is alive and made Eleanor mourn them or no reason:

Love this episode of Tahani and Eleanor confronting their family trauma head on

“Can we do this for all the paintings?” JANET-JASON BONDING TIME ❤️❤️❤️ THEY ARE THE SLOW-BURN ROMANCE AT THE HEART OF THIS SHOW

“Young lady, you will stop this nonsense, go to the PTA meeting and support your mother, I won’t hear another word about it.” AWWW MICHAEL TRYING OUT THE DAD VIBES

“All of your fears are mine now.” Lmao @ Kamilah sussing out the one thing that could disrupt Chidi’s pursuit of helping his friend

Michael The Eleanor’s Dad Friend and Torture Architect and Dave The Eleanor’s Stepdad and Regular Architect is sooooo cute. I love when Michael makes new friends

“Why can’t you accept that she might be living a good, honest life? That she’s an attentive partner and a good mom?” “Because I wanted that mom!” Wow this really is the sibling trauma ep 

 Michael referring to himself as Eleanor’s self-appointed father figure 😭❤️

 “They were wankers, weren’t they?” THIS IS SIBLING CULTURE!!!!

Hahahaha Michael’s little suspicious side comments about human things like going to the bathroom kill me 

Also the fact that they have human bodies on Earth but no digestion LMAO

“I’m glad my mom has changed, but that doesn’t fix all the damage that she did to me.” A healthy and honest way to look at it ❤️

“I have no real ability to gauge physical attractiveness in humans.” Michael said: Don’t ever ask me if you looked hot again, Eleanor, it’s icky and I hated that

I love the Mirror Centaur, it’s both a good bit of self-reflection for Tahani and an expansion of the lore

Eleanor and Chidi’s love story is cute but I am threatened by title of the ep (The Worst Possible Use of Free Will)

“There’s no such thing as soulmates, you dingus.” OMG MICHAEL

“It’s a basic reality show playbook. Put a bunch of attractive young people in stressful situations, so they act like idiots and have sex with each other.” ELEANOR EXPLAINING HER FEELINGS AWAY WITH DETERMINISM AND REALITY TV

However, she makes some pretty good points lmao 

I love seeing what they write on these Split-Second Prop Boards LOL:

“What if all YOUR choices are predetermined?” Eleanor said I see your 15-million-point-torture-plan, Michael and raise you one (1) frustrating woman who has studied a lot of philosophy and hates admitting to affection 

“Because if everything is determined and we have no free will, then all this stuff we’re doing to put more good into the world is pointless. And I want to believe that it matters.” MICHAEL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ WE LOVE ONE (1) DEMON WHO LITERALLY UNDERSTANDS THE MECHANICS OF THE UNIVERSE AND STILL CHOOSES TO HAVE HIS OWN BELIEFS

Omg hey Vicky aka Real Eleanor, long time no see

I have no idea who they’ve cast as the model of Humanity’s Potential for the Good Place in Rural Canada but I am hoping and placing my bet that it’s William Daniels (Mr. Feeny of Boy Meets World)

Update from 10 seconds later: IT’S NOT, IT’S DOUG FORCETT, THE GUY WHO GUESSED MOST OF THE AFTERLIFE

Ggkhgjhgkjh all these reflections on how people help each other to become better, and Janet and Michael choose Doug Pisswater, Friend to Snails, as their new Jesus

I love when Jason and Chidi hang out. It teaches Chidi to chill out!! The lessons go both ways

“When is the right time to tell someone you were passionate lovers in an alternate timeline in the afterlife, but he doesn’t remember because technically none of that happened in this strand of the multiverse?” I feel like this is a better question for Eleanor to ask Janet than Tahani

Hee hee hee, Jason and Chidi bonding is soooo cute:

OMG THIS HAS ESCALATED SO FAST, THE BAR OF DEMONS HAS ARRIVED

Still kills me that Bambadjan is playing Bambadjan

Also, HOW DOES DOUSING A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL IN ALCOHOL NOT ACT AS AN ACCELERANT 

“Screw this. Let’s fight.” YEAHHHHHHHH JANET, GET ‘EM

Honestly, for a show about morality, it has been surprisingly void of fight scenes until now

“Is it just me, or is Janet a straight-up hottie right now?” I gotta applaud Eleanor for her consistency

“I don’t want just any wasp nostrils, I want these wasp nostrils.” I guess Janet and Michael have inadvertently made their friends the most desirable people for the Bad Place because it’s been so hard to keep them in hell LOL

[Kicks Shawn through a portal] “I mean, why let the guy keep saying mean stuff?” Michael and Janet are an unbeatable duo

I love that they’re starting to actually interrogate the system itself:

Season 1: Something is wrong in the Good Place - we will learn about ethics to earn our place here

Season 2: We need to escape the Bad Place - we have learned enough to justify not being punished for moral failures we have made progress on

Season 3: We have escaped death, but now we need to decide what goodness in people actually means, and why we are even subscribing to this model to begin with

Incredibly impressed by D’Arcy Carden’s ability to embody each of the other four main characters. I wonder if they did this shot for shot with the other actors!!!

“So, literally the entire universe is against you.” Poor four humans, caught in the middle of an interdimensional ethical struggle

“If I’m right, we will find proof that the Bad Place is tampering with the points system.” Call me crazy, but I think the underlying issue is the existence of a point system, and I hope there’s something beyond that scope that explains why the afterlife is so fucked up

“We’re in a void, in the body of a white lady--” “Not a lady.” I also love this consistency and Janet’s she-her-and-Not-a-Lady energy

“Let’s all say white people things. ‘Billy Joel.’ ‘I found it on Etsy.’ ‘There was nowhere to park.’ ‘Did you refill the Brita?’” HAHAHAHHAHAHA I also love that 3/4 of the people Janet is embodying are not white. I can’t imagine what I’d do if I died and woke up white. I don’t think I’d do well as a white person

ELEANOR USING THE VOID TO SUMMON A PUPPY FOR CHIDI. I LOVE HOW MANY DOGS CHIDI GETS TO PLAY WITH THIS SEASON, IT’S SO MANY MORE DOGS THAN ANY PREVIOUS SEASON

“Richard Moore of Sugar Land, Texas, hollowed out an eggplant and filled it with hot sauce and nickels.” I don’t know why this is so funny, but it is

Eleanor 🤝 Chidi 

Using philosophy lessons to explain away your feelings

“Just because you don’t remember doing something, doesn’t mean you didn’t do it. I have no idea how it happened, but there is definitely a tattoo on my butt that says, ‘Jasom.’” Jason’s philosophical commentary is both practical and true 

Michael is so mad for humanity not being allowed into the Good Place ❤️‍🩹

I’m now leaning towards the idea that there ISN’T a Good Place. Why haven’t we met anyone from there, expect that one person in that Mindy St. Clair video LOL

“I was just chillin’ being nothing, and then all of a sudden, I was.” Hahahah, Void Pillboi thinks, therefore he is 

“When was the last time someone got into the Good Place?” “The last time someone got into the Good Place was... 521 years ago.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The real question is how Jason-Janet and Eleanor-Janet managed to switch clothing without Chidi-Janet noticing LOL they’re all in one void

[In falsetto] “I’m Chidi, I’m Eleanor, I’m Arizona shrimp horny.” Every line on this show, but especially Jason’s, deserves an Emmy

I just looked it up and this show didn’t receive a SINGLE Emmy? Whack

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WE ARE FINALLY GETTING JASON TO KNOW THAT HE AND JANET WERE MARRIED AGAIN (this is also how I feel when I look at Jason:

“If he’s not gonna to fix this, who is?” “You, Michael.” DEMON FRIEND GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Chidi monologuing everything he knows about Eleanor to save her identity because who she is matters so much to him 🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️

I CANNOT BELIEVE WE GOT A SIMULTANEOUS JANET/JANET, ELEANOR/JANET, CHIDI/JANET KISS. INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOOD FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“I need one of you to volunteer to do something outrageously insane that will either make you cease to exist or be really fun.” JASON JASON JASON

HAHAHAHAHAH the immediate follow-up in them realizing it didn’t actually give them any information by having Jason go up the mail tube first

“Holy forking shirtballs. We’re in the Good Place.” WOO, GO TEAM COCKROACH

“What kind of a messed-up place would turn away refugees.” SO many, Jason 

HAHAHAHAH Jason adding insane and bizarre details to their lies, but to be fair in a Good-Place-Accounting-Bad-Place trichotomy I guess it is somewhat believable to be chased by a Dracula with a bazooka

Awwwww now Chidi is comforting Eleanor about her Good Place crisis! You know what that is! Growth

I love Gwendolyn the Good Place Mailwoman With No Follow-Up Questions

“I feel bad that I sort of like, read her diary, and she doesn’t know.” Jason has his own moral code and it incudes minding ya business ❤️

“Why not have our first date four Oreos away from paradise?” Chidi DOES have a romantic bone in his non-corporeal body

“Every single Bad Place employee is a disgusting monster.” Awww, poor Michael

“Are all humans as attractive as you two [Tahani and Jason]?” [Chuckles] “No.” TRUE LMAO HOTTEST FRIENDS

CHIDI DRESSING UP A SEXY MAILMAN FOR THEIR FIRST DATE. BEST BOYFRIEND

How is letting people be tortured for hundreds of years a morally neutral action? I just don’t believe that this version of the Good Place exists

TAHANI MAKING AN DEATH DID US PART CERTIFICATE SO JANET AND JASON DON’T FEEL BURDENED BY THE TAHANI-JASON MARRIAGE. I LOVE THESE FRIENDS ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

“’There is only one time that is important, now. It is the only time when we have any power.’“ I love Chidi’s philosophy comments that are driven out of love from the people around him. I know he’s quoting Tolstoy but still

“You gotta try.” ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ELEANOR SHELLSTROP, PHILOSOPHER

Eleanor using this as an immediate segue into sex HAHAHAHA

“There are so many unintended consequences to well-intentioned actions. Feels like a game you can’t win.” THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING

TAHANI AND JANET CRYING BECAUSE THEY LOVE THEIR FRIENDS SO MUCH AND JASON CRYING BECAUSE HE LIKES TO BE PART OF THINGS:

“Any chance I can change real quick?” “No.” TIME TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE AS A SEXY MAILMAN, CHIDI

“Do you wanna try being boyfriend-girlfriend?” “I’m not a girl. But yes, I’d very much like to go on a date with you, somewhere, sometime.” JASONJANET IS BACK BAYBEEEEEEEEE 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

“I never yelled at Big Noodle for being late again, because I knew hard it was for him to be there.” I LOVE philosophy lessons with Jason

Michael keeps saying if people don’t agree with him, they can kill him and his homies, as if he has not, at every turn, gotten his friends out of harm’s way every single time someone has wanted to get rid of them, and literally in the same episode said he would throw them into the next dimensional portal to keep trying. Michael said: My moral code is Janet’s ride-or-die protocol

“Also, I guess I’m Black, and they do not like Black ladies down there.” HOW CAN THE ALL-KNOWING JUDGE OF THE UNIVERSE NOT KNOW ABOUT RACISM AND MISOGYNOIR???

“Oh no, you are nobody’s problem, sweetheart.” Finally someone other than Eleanor appreciating Chidi for his looks hahahahah

Jason and Janet are so excellent at communicating their feelings. ALSO I LOVE JEALOUS JASON, RECIPROCITY:

It has not been lost on me this whole time that Janet and Jason, and Chidi and Eleanor, have had to fall in love at least three separate times over three separate universes over three separate seasons. I can’t wait for them to get some time to actually BE in love, together, continuously

Also I hope Tahani finds someone she loves (though gunning for it not to be a white man though LOL)

NOT ELEANOR REQUESTING TO LIVE IN THE TORTURE CLOWN HOUSE ❤️ I ALSO KINDA MISSED IT

OMG NO THAT’S SO SAD, THEY’RE GONNA MAKE THE FOUR HUMANS EXPERIENCE ACTUAL TORTURE (NOT JUST EMOTIONAL TURMOIL) FROM THEIR BEST DEMON BUDDY’S FACE

“It’s going to be so amazing watching your four BFFs look so sad and betrayed and confused, as you, their reformed demon daddy, unleash a swarm of... penis-bees.” EVEN SADDER, THEIR REFORMED DEMON DADDY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 MICHAEL!!!!!!!

Michael experiencing his first panic attack in the very first step of the experiment lmao

HAHAHAHAHAHAH Eleanor immediately jumping in as architect. There were so many better ways to handle this. Just have Janet knock him out again 

“You’re like the Blake Bortles of whatever’s going on right now.” These is a very good compliment from Jason, he holds Eleanor in high esteem

ALSO JASON BEING BACK IN HIS JIANYU OUTFITS HA

NOT JOHN BEING THE PEREZ HILTON OF THE GOOD PLACE

I like that Simone’s back, and I hope she ends up as Tahani’s lover this time around, that’d be fun and a nice way to wrap up the couples

Chidi requesting for a mind-wipe to avoid his ex so he has to fall in love with Eleanor a fourth (FOUR HUNDREDTH) TIME OH MY GOD 

“This is a classic human situation. Your friends are going through something awful, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Harsh but true

“Every time you see me get a stomach-ache, imagine I’m thinking of you.” “So, all the time.” 😭😭😭😭😭

Of this whole romantic montage of all of Eleanor and Chidi’s memories, it’s them on the boat together that got me. Eleanor being part of Chidi’s idea of a perfect day. Something something existing in each other’s comfort zone

I did not expect for anything to make me tear up but Chidi’s voice breaking as he said he was going to miss Eleanor got me

“Time means nothing. Jeremy Bearimy, baby. We’ll get through this, and then you and I will chill out in the dot in the i forever.” Chidi is SO romantic now. That’s growth!!!!!!!!!!

Eleanor and Janet have truly been on the same romantic page this whole time. They have parallel journeys of love and loss

“In the words of the man that I love: I got you dog.” JANET 😭❤️ 

I really do love this show so much 

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs the Good Place S1-S2

I’ve watched this first ep like three times and it took me until now to realize Michael is probably named after the show creator lmao

“One of the other people in your neighbourhood is your actual soulmate, and you will spend eternity together.” I just noticed Eleanor turning around and checking out Jianyu 

What happens if you were already married to your soulmate? Do they have a separate afterlife for singles 

“Why does she still have that accent? No one else here has an accent.” Chidi’s accent should definitely sound more Senegalese or at the very least have the tinge of a Francophone if there’s any accent retention after-death

Love how even when Tahani and Eleanor are being snarky about each other it’s through the lens of finding each other cute:

Unclear if the look on Jianyu/Jason’s face is guilt or worry for himself lol:

“It’s merely the construct of a dog. It feels no pain, or joy, or love.” This is because all dogs are in the Other Good Place LOL

Honestly I’m with Eleanor I didn’t realize Chidi ever had his own apartment in this show lol

“I won’t let you down... starting now.” I enjoy that Chidi’s face is a cross between ‘what have I gotten myself into’ and genuinely endeared by Eleanor’s ridiculousness

“I got a present for you... Senegal.” “That’s not a present; that’s just common decency.” Talking to white people really be like that sometimes

“I have what doctors call ‘directional insanity.” I’m Chidi, Chidi is me

I admire Jason’s prolonged stoicism lmao that takes dedication 

“Basically my life’s work is 3,600 pages of garbage.” Every writer has this feeling every so often LOL

“Not to mention, you have a rockin’ bod.” I really do hope they make a point of Eleanor being bisexual 

Lmao the transition from Jianyu to Jason is INCREDIBLE someone give Manny Jacinto an Emmy 

“Everyone here thinks I’m Taiwanese. I’m Filipino. That’s racist. Heaven is so racist.” GOD THE WRITING ON THIS SHOW IS INCREDIBLE

“Is she single, or is she married to Michael?” Team Jason/Janet 4ever

The depiction of Florida on this show is right on brand with everything I have ever imagined about Florida 

The hope on Eleanor’s face when Chidi offers Jason a lifeline GOD we love a man

“I am here to learn about ethnics.” Everything Jason says is so funny I’m losing my mind

Kristen Bell is really the only person who can pull off this role of being so excited for doing the bare minimum of human decency and actually make it endearing 

Based on Michael’s timing of showing up every time Eleanor and Chidi are mid-argument I wonder how much of his day is just dedicated to creeping on them in preparation for dramatic moments lmao

“It’s very... middle thermometer.” They’ve managed to capture my South Asian parent-child experience in less than ten words lmao 

Disclaimer/sidenote: Despite saying this, I am exhausted of the way people in western media write South Asian parents lmao. Give me an Ek Ladkhi scene where the parents are also willing to beat down people who insult their kids. It’s so one-sided:

Rich people are wild I cannot imagine giving up millions of dollars just because my parents loved me less than my sibling. Even if you didn’t want the money it could serve so much use to other people

I love how down Eleanor is to have sex with any person she meets given the right circumstances

“I know we’ll never be soulmates, but we’re friends.” ARE YOU SURE ELEANOR

“How do you row a boat?” With great difficulty; oars are very heavy

Which woman is so hard up for available friends that they would entrust Early Eleanor with a dog with kidney disease

“She’s so pretty like Nala from the Lion King.” The levels to this comment

"Three person couple.” “Does not compute.” Janet said no polyamory rights kjhkjhkjhjk

I really enjoy this montage of Michael and Eleanor enjoying human activities they are truly #friendgoals lmao

“Do you like France as much as I do?” “Well, they enslaved my country for 300 years, so no. But, they have great museums.” “Yes.” Tahani and Chidi’s conversation about France kills me lmao

I guess Tahani can’t really fault colonialism since she’s British LMAO

I like that they experiment with all the younger main characters together lmao there’s some implied chemistry in a lot of directions with Eleanor, Tahani, Chidi, Jason and Janet 

Fshjdghkjdshgkjhds

Eleanor: But leave up the sexy mailman. To remember me by.

Chidi: [nods seriously]

Janet’s delivery always kills me but her Count Chocula Sobs and whispered confident, “Yeah,” is truly something else:

“Those are the coolest boots I’ve ever seen in my life.” I’m so Chidi sometimes u catch urself telling very pointless lies for either a very mediocre reason or no reason at all just because ur caught up in a conversation and can’t stop saying things to fill the silence and then later it haunts u

“Killing is one of the most famous moral no-nos.” Every line of this show is beautifully written

KDJHFKSJHFKJ I love that this episode is the turning point for Chidi actually having his own moral failings

"And even if she were okay, it would be too painful for me to live with these lies.” CHIDI U HAVE BEEN LYING SINCE EP 1 LMAO IT’S A LITTLE LATE TO DECIDE U DON’T WANT TO

“The problem in the neighbourhood is me.” Say what you will about Eleanor at least in the afterlife she really cares about her friends:

“You will spend eternity with murderers, arsonists, and people who take off their shoes and socks on commercial airlines.” By this metric, at least one member of my immediate family is going to The Bad Place

If, as by Michael’s measure of Eleanor we are counting on the impact of our actions and not just intentions (i.e. Eleanor making her cousin happy as a positive) then objectively it is bizarre that none of the good Tahani has done for others through charity or even just like, hosting events for other people, means anything in the afterlife. What gives

“You’re too nice to humiliate.” I feel like this is foreshadowing of Michael being a Ineffective Demon and Great Friend

“There should be a medium place for people like me who kind of sucked, but in a fun, chill way.” [Sad chuckle] “I agree.” Awwww Chidi is sad to see her go

“You should smile more.” Adam Scott really has mastered the art of portraying an unpleasant man lmao

OMG CHIDI AND ELEANOR HOLDING HANDS WHEN SHE GETS OFF THE TRAIN

“You know, it doesn’t matter if you know things. All that matters is what’s in your heart.” Jason said Himbo/Bimbo rights

“Sorry you’re snorting the... concept of time?” I’m sure people on cocaine feel this way occasionally

“Who are they gonna believe, me, or a woman?” Men really do be like that sometimes 

“He’s the wise, eternal Judge who sits on high, has the final say on all disputes between our two realms.” “And his name is... Shawn?” The real tipping point for believing this is not The Good Place should’ve been how every person in charge of it is depicted as a white man lmao

Djfhkjh I forgot when Tahani found out about Jason. The end of episode reveals are great they really do know how to make you want to watch the next one 

How does Tahani know every celebrity EXCEPT Ariana Grande lmao 

“Oh Ariana, we’re really in it now.” God. I love Jason so much 

“Hooking up with someone with the exact same name is kind of a fun, narcissistic fantasy, I could be into it.” [’NSYNC voice] bi bi bi

Who in their right mind would let Chidi be a team captain lmao

“Congratulations, Chidi. You filibustered recess.” Kjfgjdhgj teach them early  

Every time Eleanor mentions a political philosopher I had to study I feel sympathy for how truly boring they are lmao. Honestly I didn’t retain much

KJHFJHSKJHFKJHKJAHKJ ELEANOR’S MONOLOGUE ABOUT LOVING CHIDI LMAO

Chidi running away because two beautiful and fun women have expressed feelings for him, is really a my-diamond-shoes-are-too-tight scenario

Janet giving Jason his favourite kind of wings 💗 They’re so sweet

“So you also love Chidi? And you just told him, right before I did?” “Technically you told him that he loves you, but yes.” lmao u right Eleanor

Happy Pride Month to Tahani whose every interaction with a man screams of comphet LMAO

I know Eleanor and Tahani is not what they’re aiming for here but jhgkjhg:

Eleanor: Are you ready to take our bonding to the next level?

Tahani: [gay intrigue]

Ahhh Uzo is such a good friend he knows Chidi and he’s so chill about him being anxious I love this dynamic I feel bad that Chidi’s dead

“Jianyu is a hot dummy, definitely my type.” LMAO I FORGOT ABOUT THIS AND ALSO ELEANOR REALLY WOULD SLEEP WITH ALL OF HER FRIENDS (EXCEPT MICHAEL OBVS) LMAO

OH MY GOOOOD POOR UZU AND A MONTH BEFORE HIS WEDDING TOO

“Does anyone here object to this marriage?” “Of course we do, how could we not object?” “Yes, it is a terrible idea.” “Overruled.” JANET KJHJKGHJKFH

Get someone who looks at you the way that Jason and Janet look at each other:

“True love is what Janet and Jianyu have.” YEAH IT IS

Digital Getdown being on the Jasonet wedding playlist was really an iconic move

Really it has to be a very mundane kind of torture to having someone foist a love confession on you lmao but I guess [Sartre voice] Hell is other people 

“I got ten bucks to my name. I spent 8 of it on this burrito, and the other 2 on the guac.” Been there Pillboi

The fact that Jason thinks Michael is Janet’s dad kkjdhgkjhg 

“I wasn’t a failed DJ, I was pre-successful.” I want to live in Jason’s brain

God we love a man who has emotional intelligence. Jason may not have a lot of logical reasoning skills but he knows how to calm someone down and how to love 

“Even when I do nice things, I’m only doing something so I get something out of it—the ability to stay here—which means none of this had any real moral value.” This is excellent Tahani foreshadowing but also I call bullshirt. 1) Doing good things inherently makes you feel better, so I think it would be very hard to find entirely selfless actions and 2) If you give care, time, or money to just causes and helping others whether you’re doing it for recognition or not you still have vastly improved someone’s life. It DOES count

“What if he reboots me and we fall out of love?” 😭😭😭 Let them be together!!!

Having Mindy live with her incurable addiction but be unable to fulfill it is a very medium thing to do

Eleanor’s first act of making herself comfortable in the Medium Place being putting photos of Tahani, Jason and Chidi 😭😭😭😭 She is SO endearing

Ajfhdkjhfsj Chidi immediately still wanting to jump in to defend Eleanor even after watching firsthand all the horrible things she did what kind of wholeass love and friendship

I have so many questions about where Janet’s genitals are located based on those diagrams, why did the second one not work

“I brought you two a little treat.” Oh my god Michael in Janet’s outfit hjkhkjhgkjfdk

Also I know it’s meant to be some form of torture, and like remind them of their impending doom. But what I see is a guy giving his friends a little snack

“I’m sorry Eleanor, but I engaged a ride-or-die protocol, so I’m loyal to Jason forever.” Get u a wife like Janet

The real question is why they had Kristen Bell play her high school self in a flashback if they were going to cast a teenager to play her later anyway 

Also as much as I love Kristen Bell: Definitely not a high schooler LMAO 

Maybe to draw a distinction between things she purposely did without regard for other people (as her main self) vs. when she was subject to other people’s neglect as a kid 

“I was dropped into a cave, and you were my flashlight.” Eleanor saying goodbye with a reference to Plato’s Allegory of a Cave the ROMANCE

I’d heard that the actors didn’t know about the reveal until they shot this scene so I’d be curious to see if they broke at some point 

“Didn’t you raise like, $1,000 for charity or whatever?” “60 billion actually. But it didn’t matter, because my motivations were corrupt.” Yeah call me a consequentialist but for one final time: I just can’t buy that doing nice things for a selfish reason COMPLETELY negates it??? Tangibly improving someone’s life situation, no matter what reason, seems like a good action. Fuck you Kant

“Side note, I might legit be into Tahani.” Tahani’s [gay surprise] expression oh my god 

I love how quick Eleanor is to think on her feet. Improv master lmao

Hjhjhkjhkjhlkjh now reading the credits: Pleased that they cast a Bengali actress as a Real Eleanor (who said she was from Bangladesh—even though they were accurate for Manny Jacinto’s ethnicity I wasn’t really sure if they would be regionally specific, like as far as I know William Jackson Harper doesn’t specifically identify as Senegalese

Also: Kills me that Bambadjan’s real name is Bambadjan, which implies both that his name is better than whatever name they had in the script, and that he is playing himself

“Eleanor - Bad Place,” would actually be one letter less than “Eleanor, Find Chidi,” but I understand that the message is less about identifying the lie and more about finding morality and her friends

We are finally progressing into the parts of the show I don’t know/remember 

“I won’t let you down.” “I think you will. I think this entire project of yours is stupid and doomed to fail. I think you’re going to be retired, eliminated from existence, and burned on the surface of a billion suns. And I have no doubt that you and your cockamamie experiment will go down in history as colossal failures.” “You know I think that—” “Toodeloo.” My high school guidance counselor to me when I said I wanted to go to school out of province lmao

“I can’t wait to have breakfast with Kant, and lunch with Michel Foucault, and then have dinner with Kant with Kant again so we can talk about what came up at breakfast.” “I’m sorry Chidi, all the great philosophers in history ended up in the Bad Place.” I believe this

I thought for a second Pedro, Angelique and Pevita were ALL Chidi’s potential soulmates and got excited, but straight people strike again lmao:

I have been wondering for a while whether or not sexuality plays into soulmates though. Does anyone have platonic soulmates in the afterlife lmao

“But good, would I go as far as to say to say you look good? Doubtful.” Chidi trying to be the appropriate amount of nice turns into negging lmao

Rhkjhgjhgg Eleanor immediately recognizing the slightly more whack energy this time around

“Charmed, I’m short.” Fghgkhgkgh the immediate fixation on her soulmate’s height and appearance in a way she didn’t do so meanspiritedly for any of the gang. Tahani said all of my friends are hot and Eleanor’s the only one allowed to be short

Tahani said: If Eleanor’s busy, I’ll step up to the plate to represent the Girlies Who Are Seconds Away From Losing It at All Times:

“Some of the [soulmate] pairings are platonic, some are romantic.” I guess that answers that question

Honestly didn’t think about it until now but it’s impressive that Jason can wear a Buddhist’s monks’ clothes the exact correct way based only on a single observation. He shows his intelligence in his way!!

“I am a Ferrari, and you don’t keep a Ferrari in the garage.” Vicky aka Real Eleanor knows her worth

The parallel storylines revealing what each character has been doing are very fun

Genuinely impressed by how much prop paper Kristen Bell just ate

“I’m too young to die, and too old to eat off the kids menu! What a stupid age I am.” Me too, Jason:

I also think having to go to a jazz show would tip me off that I’m in hell

“This is your soulmate, Tahani.” I know you can have a platonic soulmate now but I believe in my heart that this one wasn’t 

“Can you just chill out? Is that possible, Janet? Can you just chill out a little?” “Nope, it’s gonna be the same every time.” Me talking to my mother LMAO

“We are on strike until our demands are met.” #PayYourWriters

It’s impressive how many times Michael has managed to lose most of the only four people his entire neighbourhood is designed for

Chidi not hesitating for a second to tell Eleanor he loves her back:

“How many times have Chidi and I slept together?” “Eight different days, but like 20 different sessions.” GOOD FOR THEM LMAO

“I want to team up with you guys.” Michael said: Let me in the gang 💗

I am also genuinely endeared by Michael. His definition of torture is honestly so polite. Jazz and froyo LMAO 

“I’m sorry, has it been 100 hours?” Hahahaha I love how Tahani is genuinely intimidated by Eleanor’s confident dismissal 

Ethics question: If Tahani’s lack of care of other people is the reason she ended up in the Bad Place, do they also take into account the emotional abuse by her whole family and the way other people insistently dismissed her for Kamilah as part of that motive? Does enduring that so many times without complaint not tip the scales in her favour at all?

“And since you’re the only actual humans here, I’m on board for whatever fun little schemes you guys come up with.” Janet’s ride-or-die protocol is still engaged at heart

“Make all your memos one page, max, with pictures.” Vicky would’ve fit right in for the [Redacted] presidency

“These Millennials, they have no work ethic. Oh, sorry, a Millennial is someone who’s only been torturing people for a thousand years.”

This really is a good summary of what it’s like to take a philosophy class:

“Man, repressing your feelings is great.” Michael’s midlife crisis is very human man, down the to convertible and the much younger woman

Gdhkhdkjdh Tahani 🤝 Michael

Having very benign visions of what being tortured is like, as with someone throwing a better party than you

This is the line I quote most from this show out of everything:

[Gasps] “A family pack?” Me 🤝 Eleanor

Unprocessed spicy memories bubbling up in the middle of a mundane task in a communal space 

“You’re cool, dope, fresh and smart-brained. I’ve never seen you dance, but I bet you’re good. Because... you’re good at everything. You’re awesome. Be nicer to yourself.” Tahani 🤝 Jason 🤝 Jason

Falling in love anyone who is nice to you for more than a few minutes

“What do you think about writing a rap musical about Kierkegaard?” I want to read the songs that Chidi wrote LOL

“My name is Kierkegaard, and my writing is impeccable. Check out my teleological suspension of the ethical.” THANK YOU CHIDI FOR IMMMEDIATELY DELIVERING

You can tell this was filmed in 2017 because it is PEAK Hamilton era

“Plus they’re all French, so they’re going to the bad place automatically.” HGGHKGHGHKGH. Oh the French

“You’ve never dated anyone like Jason before.” Not Tahani getting love advice from Jason’s ex-wife

Take a shot everytime someone in this show says, “This is why everyone hates moral philosophy professors.”

Michael said: Chidi please adapt to my practical learning style

“But I tell her she’s pretty a hundred times a day, and she’s never said I’m pretty once.” Illegal. Tahani should be court-ordered to tell Jason he’s pretty

I believe in my whole heart that Janet lost a thumb because even as their couple’s therapist, she is still in love with Jason

“I’m your hottest friend. No, Tahani. I’m your nicest fr— no, Jason. I’m your friend!” LMAO at least Eleanor is self-aware

Fkfkjfhfjfh I guess technically Michael was doing his job by torturing Chidi

Also imagine the psychological trauma Chidi absorbs from having to decide to kill people so many times in the trolley problem. A reboot button would be helpful for him now 

“Aw, I’m happy for you guys.” [retches and vomits out a frog] JANETJASON ENDGAME

Michael’s little evil laugh also gets me every time. I love Ted Danson

“I call them ‘opposite tortures.’” “Do you mean, ‘presents?’” Hahahaha

Chidi’s a better or more morally stagnant inflexible than I am because I do think making people happy is a good thing even if the gifts are bribes in pursuit of forgiveness 

The way Janet malfunctions every time she supports Jason and Tahani. SHE’S IN LOOOOOVE

“Glitches may be a sign that your Janet is processing or disseminating information that is incompatible with objective truth.” Because she’s lying about her feeeelings

VINDICATIONNNNNNNNNNNN:

[Chanting] “Kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me.” Janet is perfect and also Jason was right she is Michael’s family LMAO

“The reason is friends!! You’re my friend, Janet, that’s why I can’t kill you.” MICHAEL SAID I AM A DEMON WHO CAN GROW

“This is my new rebound boyfriend Derek. I made him!” OH MY GOD

I guess Tahani and Jason have one thing in common aside from being hot: Their irreverant disregard for everything outside of themselves hahahaha

The cut between Tahani and Jason having a picnic and deciding to get married vs. Chidi, Eleanor and Michael having an ethical dilemma about whether to break them up the greater good of society (themselves)

“That [teacher-student relationship] used to happen a lot at Lynyrd Skynyrd High School, but this time you won’t be arrested.” 1) Someone please help the people at this high school and 2) We know that these are not the vows Jason is meant to have. Send Nude Pics of Your Heart to Me lives in my heart forever

Fjfkhfhfkj Poor Janet, she’s been through more human emotions in the past couple of weeks than in any iteration of herself before:

Eleanor ready to take the opportunity to forget she’s in love with Chidi jghkghg

“This isn’t about your wind-chime penis, in fact it’s not about you at all.” Underrated line from Janet LMAO

[Concerned] “Can you get pregnant from reabsorbing?” I would like to believe this is a lingering hint of jealousy from Jason

FKSJHSKJHS THE FACT EVERYONE LISTENS WHEN ELEANOR TELLS THEM NOT TO LOOK

This episode is emotionally a bummer for all involved couples 

“You really did just come here to chat. To shoot the shirt with your ole pal Eleanor.” “I guess so, why?” “It’s just a very human-y thing to do.” Michael and Eleanor are perhaps my favourite friendship

Eleanor said I’ve only had Michael as a friend for two weeks but if anything happened to him I’d stake the eternal souls of everyone in this room and then myself:

“What the here, dude?” Hahahahaha also a good line

“The other worst moment of Tahani’s life? Every other moment of her empty, pointless life.” This is like that scene in She-ra where they’re like ‘this feels way more personal compared to fire’ 

However, I do appreciate the dropping of hints that Michael is laying out: “Derek” Bortles - last song of a party -  the train/trolley

Janet’s version of magnet intoxication wanting to braid people’s hair is Peak Drunk Not-A-Girl in the Bathroom of a Nightclub Energy

[Sobbing] “You’re my friends and I wanted to save you.” I love one (1) Demon Buddy

Honestly props to Eleanor for figuring out Michael meant for them to stay because I personally would’ve interpreted the mention of Mindy St. Clair as enough reason to go 

“Here’s a willing sex robot and two duffel bags full of cocaine.” Mindy’s Medium Place is going to tip the scales in favour of the positive for her I guess lmao

“Maybe I should’ve realized this wasn’t the good place because of all the diarrhea.” “Maybe you shouldn’t be eating frozen yogurt right now.” Jason providing our Asian Lactose Intolerance Representation 😌💕

It actually does make sense that Eleanor loves Chidi when Chidi does not return those feelings because aside from the fact she has had that knowledge several weeks longer than Chidi, she is also a person who has consistently trusted her gut, and her gut tells her that she loves him, whereas Chidi needs time to think it out

“Once, you handed him a tissue right before he sneezed nd that simple act of anticipating his needs made him fall for you.” 1) Cute and 2) This isssss a love language

Ghkhgghkghg Michael coming into this with no plan and hoping to discover one along the way. Relatable demon 

The height difference with Tahani and everyone else is really apparent in this shot:

Chidi and Jason in particular doing the same dance move is so endearing. They all have something in common!! 

“All every wanted to was to know what it was like to be human. And now we’re going to do the most human thing of all. Attempt something futile with a ton of unearned confidence and fail spectacularly.”

Michael 🤝 Greed from FMA

Being primarily motivated by their love of their homies and general inclination towards more human emotion than any of their counterparts

“As long as I’m with you guys, I’m always in the Fake Good Place.” I want to give Michael a little kiss on the forehead

 “I just made an aphorism.” I just learned a new word

“Any time I had a problem and I threw a molotov cocktail, boom, right away, I had a different problem.” Jason does think outside the box

Tahani’s American accent is actually very good lmao 

“Principles aren’t principles when you pick and choose when you’re going to follow them.” I understand here Chidi means ‘principles’ to mean ‘fundamental truths’ and not ‘moral decisions’ but when it comes to an ethical principle, a person is always going to decide to follow it or not. That is the nature of being autonomous 

Unrelated to anything that’s going on in the Bad Place, the costume change really highlights that Manny Jacinto is so incredibly handsome, look at him, he’s like a painting:

Fully did not realize that Dax Shepard makes a guest appearance in the Bad Place. However. I believe it 

“Hang out with Johnny Depp enough, you become pretty good at lying.” This feels like a prophecy of some sort

“But then I remembered: I’m a naughty bitch.” The dialogue in this show has really transformed since they started being allowed to swear

“A moral particularist, like me—I’m one now, I just decided—would say there’s no absolute rule. You have to choose your actions based on the particular situation.” Turns out I am also somewhat of a moral particularist, Eleanor 

Honestly shocked and perplexed that it’s taken THIS long for anyone to catch Michael in a lie

Say what you will about Jason, he’s very good at molotov cocktails and knowing his own heart

“Goodbye Eleanor.” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. He is the best demon buddy they could ever ask for:

I don’t know who I envisioned as the All-Knowing Judge of All Realms but I do feel like Maya Rudolph is a strong choice

“In the words of one of my actual friends: Ya basic.” I love Michael absorbing Eleanor’s vocabulary

Tahani’s soft gasp and “Oh no,” at what the spa employees and bikini waxers think of her kjgkhgjhg. Fair and relatable but you’d think it’d be the butlers and waiters, considering it’s a morality test

The gang wanting to all stay together in their failure or success 🥺 I love them

You know, I think Tahani letting go of what her parents think of her IS success, even if it’s not technically the exercise

GO JANETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Eleanor choosing not to reveal that she is the only one who has gotten past her fatal flaw (selfishness, as opposed to Chidi, Jason and Tahani failing to get past their indecisiveness, impulsivity and care of how others think of her) is also her being selfless 

“Hey guys! How ya been?” THE GANG’S ALL BACK TOGETHER:

“If I’m right, the system by which we judge humans, the very method we use to deem them good or bad, is so fundamentally flawed that hundreds of millions of people have been wrongly condemned to an eternity of torture.” THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING, MICHAEL

“Whatever progress I have made, it’s because you and I have become friends.” I love Tahani and Eleanor’s friendship, they’re so sweet

“Jason, I love you.” “Oh, word?” “Word.” JASONJANET ENDGAME 💘

“I think I love you too girl.” YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JASON!!! HE DOESN’T KNOW MUCH, BUT HE KNOWS HIS HEART

DOUBLE YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, GO CHIDI, HE KNOWS HIS HEART TOO:

They all love each other so much they don’t want to be in separate Medium Places 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THEY ARE THE CUTEST FRIEND GROUP

Hahaha, I notice that her roommates call her Elea-NOR instead of Elea-NER like her friends do which feels like something intentional 

“Do you want to come to Lauren’s baby shower?” “Do you want to chew on my ASS-ortment of brownies that I will be bringing to Lauren’s baby shower?” [Eleanor Shellstrop voice] Pobody’s nerfect

“That took a lot of courage for you to admit that, and I admire your honesty. You stupid skank! How could you do that to me? I hate you!” Newly Not Dead Eleanor is about to learn about moral particularism 

“I still think he’s kind of hot.” “I guess, in like a sick Victorian boy kind of way.” “Oooh, yeah yeah yeah, I want to like, feed him soup.” Brittany is fun. Also I know they said Benedict Cumberbatch but this is exactly how people talk about Timothy Chalamet

Michael loves his friends so much he cannot help but nudge them along through Moral Interventions at the Sports Bar:

“I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people, and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put: We are not in this alone.” I LOVE this brand of moral philosophy

Also this last nudge to bringing them back together is a really great way to end this season. This show is SO GOOD