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#i mean it’s very healthy
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months
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I want it back / I drag its dead weight forward.
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fumifooms · 9 months
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Firefly Wedding is so…
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It’s so
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It’s them. It’s "It’s just a firefly, they’re meant to die soon. Why should I care about the sick, or the poor?"
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It’s "I was purposely trying to scare you and push you away to see how far you were willing to go with your act, how desperate you were to play with my feelings as if I was a fool, but it didn’t work."
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It’s "I know you’re just using me but now I care. Please keep using me. I need you to need me."
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It’s choosing to give her her freedom anyways. Because your love is no longer all about you, no longer selfish. Because this love isn’t just a shallow balm to soothe your complexes anymore.
It’s being betrayed, finally facing the lies and no longer pretending you both don’t know that this is a farce, but desperately wanting to keep it going anyways. It’s "I should hate you now. Why don’t I? Hey, tell me we’ll go through with the plan, tell me you’ll marry me after all. Otherwise, why am I still here? Why don’t I want to leave? You act like you don’t need me but I still need you."
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Like that’s so revolutionary for a yandere story. The self-delusion is strong, denial that things have changed despite it being impossible to truly believe, BUT HE STAYS. It’s no longer selfish 😭😭
"I don’t care about you anymore, I won’t help you. Get yourself killed for all I care." <- Jumps to her rescue 3 milliseconds later when she almost falls down a ladder/roof. It happens twice. The ‘lying and trying to emotionally distance yourself from something to protect yourself and not get hurt’ defense mechanism is blatant and it’s failing really bad.
It’s "My sense of duty and goals to have accomplished something useful in my short life are making me do this, but I do want you to stay with me." The yandere stuff here gets turned on its head because what he says is empty where it matters and meaningful where it matters. It’s knowing that if Satoko asks him not to kill anyone he won’t, but knowing that he won’t give up on her no matter what, even if she’s unattainable, even if she’s sickly, even if she pushes him away like just before. It’s so thinly veiled for "I’m determined to see my goal through, but that’s not what I want. If you just so happen to take me away and I don’t try to run away hard enough then we can elope and be free. I want to have an excuse to leave with you. Please give up on marrying me. Please don’t. I want that, but I can’t."
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It’s "If I didn’t burn brightly in my short firefly life, then what was the point?"
Except that burning brightly doesn’t have to mean making big achievements, or being useful to your family.
It can be living happily, living for the ones you love, fighting for them. It can be worth to risk it for things that actually matter to you.
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It’s giving your heart to someone, figuratively and literally. To lend it to them even if it might get used or battered, for as long as it beats to use your body to protect them, even if you have to sacrifice yourself. A love that burns bright into a bonfire before they both turn to ashes. Unwise but wholehearted.
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It’s despite even that, needing grandiose gestures to be able to trust that this is real. It’s needing external cues that prove it to feel safe in their love existing, other people to confirm that he’s not crazy, that this is happening and this is how they both feel. Their love has been fake, both being a warped love and being a lie, only being out of necessity or because the other was the only one willing to offer it to them, offering comfort, safety, support and care. And showing that they care is the most loving of all. It’s despite everything falling back into old habits that "Oh if she was miserably worried for me then that means she’s not indifferent to me! That’s good!" And then once again being taken aback by her, by her earnestness and by her will. Because oh, no, this goes deeper than that. She cares. It’s love.
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It’s opening your heart up to love, and both being punished and rewarded for it.
But most of all it’s
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And it being the most loving thing he’d ever heard
Firefly Wedding is so…
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And yet it’s also
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The complicated and hurtful nature of love and the joy and light it brings are two sides of the same coin, because that’s what inevitably happens when you care about something. But caring about a firefly isn’t a waste even however short lived it is, or how hard the loss will inevitably hit you. Isn’t their light just such a wonder to witness?
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murchadhchanges · 3 months
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i feel like sigyn has princess carried loki at some point in their lives and i think that it made loki swoon
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ancha-aus · 2 months
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Reminiscene
Hello everyone :3
You all know what time it is!! I think... It is time for another Dream drabble :3 @spotaus I know how much you like having dream be put through the ringer :33
First drabble Prev drabble Next drabble
Not much to say this time. You guys ready?
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All things considered? Dream had been doing okay lately.
The worst part was that he wasn't sure if he felt good or bad about it.
At least Core didn't call him every 5 minutes anymore. Seems like the outcode child finally accepted that Dream had changed. That Dream had moved on.
Hah.
If only they knew how little he had actually moved on.
Dream stands in the greyed out forest. Waiting and listening. Not even a slight breeze. No sound.
A dead AU.
He used to blame Nightmare for that, for killing their AU.
Nowadays?
Dream figures it was just the end of their AU.
Dream leans against a tree and sighs. He tries to reach out but no sounds.
On his solo trips and, as Blue liked to call them, self discovery trips. Dream had learned he could speak to trees. Though maybe calling it speaking was a bit generous.
The trees didn't use words. Just sounds and whistles and whispers that could almost have been words. Dream had still been able to understand however. He just had to listen.
Seems like that was a theme for him. He just had to listen to be able to understand.
Even so, he takes a deep breath and leaves the forest and walks towards a familiar hill.
He kept returning here. Dream wants to say he doesn't know why and that it is just his home calling back for him.
He knows the truth.
He stops by the old cut down stump and focusses on the two familiar graves.
Seems like he hadn't been the only one visiting. There are once again fresh flowers. All beautifull yellows and orange coloured this time.
Dream smiles as he sits by the graves and gently touches the flowers. Part of his soul grieves at the two graves, once of which is meant for him. But another part of his soul sings in joy.
Because there is only one monster who could have made these graves and left these flowers.
Dream chuckles as he glances at the stump "Nighty came by... didn't he?"
No answer of course. Nim has died a long time ago. Even so Dream leans back against the stump as he keeps looking at the graves, most of his focus is on his own.
Dream keeps staring at the graves as he speaks "I know you won't answer me... with you being gone.. But... I want to at least think you are listening to me. Just this once."
Nim never listened to him. Neither to Nighty. They just had to listen to her.
Look at where that lead them.
Dream watches over the grey fields and the village in the distance. "Had you already decided near the start? Which one of us you would love and which one you wouldn't?"
No answer but Dream didn't mind. He watches the village in the distance. He can't help but wonder how often Nightmare would have had to do this alone. Keep watch alone.
"Or was it an in the moment decision? Had there been a moment were you held both of us and loved us both? Or had you decided the moment Nightmare formed that you would hate him?"
How often Dream would rush off, ignoring the quiet pleas to stay wiht Nightmare.
"I think you decided from the start. Why else would you give him the name you did? Say the only thing that matters about him is how he was different from me."
Would he have seen those angry people coming? With weapons? Had Nightmare been afraid? Wondering where Dream had been? Why Dream hadn't stopped them?
"It has to be the reason. Why else would you tell me to make friends with the villagers and help them? While telling Nightmare to stay put and send them away? You must have known. Known that by making me help them and by making Nightmare deny them that they would grow angry with him."
How often had Nightmare believed Dream had abandoned him? Only for him to end up mortally injured?
"You don't deserve the grave he made." Not that Dream thinks he truly deserves one himself. Even if he returns each time to see if new flowers are left for him.
Dream once again wonders if he should leave a message for the next time Nighty visits... Just something that he wishes to talk.
But then that ever present fear returns. What if it meant Nightmare wouldn't visit this place anymore instead of answering? What if he decided it was better to completely cut their past lose from him instead?
Dream hugs his legs as he tries to remember how colourful everything had been. How beautiful it had been.
But... Dream now realises that it had just been a prison of responsibility... For both him and his brother.
A golden cage... but still a cage.
Drema snorts as he nudges Nim's grave "Yet here you are! immortalised by a grave your son made you! You know. That same son you aparently never liekd or wanted? That son made you a grave and keeps said grave clean and brings you flowers. I bet you wouldn't even be thankful for it."
Dream knocks the stump with his fist "After all! How often did you tell me that I should focus on myself? How i should focus on making the villagers like me? How i shouldn't bother to wait for Nighty to return from the river?" Nim had been trying to seperate them from the start. A dream had never realised.
Dream sighs as he hugs his legs "We were children. Little babybones and you gave us adult responsibilities...." They should have just ran. the two of them should have just disappeared into the forest.
Nighty had asked him a few times if they couldn't just leave together.
Dream should have realised something was seriously wrong. Nighty had been the one who took their jobs so seriously.
But... Dream had just said he didn't want to leave his friends in the village behind.
"I wish i could turn back time... get a redo... I would stay by Nightmare's side. I would convince him that the job you gave us wasn't our job."
Dream wonders why Nightmare had been so set on doing their job so well... Dream has ideas but none of them are happy reasons.
"What... waht did you tell him? That made him desperate to do this job well?" Which lies had Nim told Nightmare in Dream's absence...?
Dream hugs his legs "Why did you never bother to tell me?" Dream grows angry as he huffs "Why did you never bother to tell me the same? Or tell me when Nighty was near? Or tell nighty when I was near? What was it you were trying so hard to protect?!"
A memory. from so long long ago. It had been raining and Nightmare hadn't been around. Ligthning had been flashing and Dream had been so afraid. His mother had help him within her branches. protected him. reassured him he would be safe. told him...
told him that Dream just had to protect himself. protect the hope he represented...
Dream laughs as he kicks the grave of his mother. glaring at it angerly "Was it worth it?! Was it worth killing one of your sons to protect the other?! Was it worth being the cause of all this pain and suffering we both had to go through?!" Dream shakes his skull as he gets up "Nevermind. You are never going to give me answers... and honestly. I am tired of you being a part of my life in anyway. I hope you rot whereever you are now." and he walks back to the forest.
It is silent and he prefers it like that. Things had been loud and hectic.
And well...
Maybe just maybe... He had done the same as Nightamre had done.
He gets to the forest lake and immediantly spots the tiny grave.
Well not grave. Dream shies away from that word. Nightmare is very much alive after all. It is more like a memorial... Wait those can be made for living people right? drema thinks so.
It was nice. It gave him a safe place to grieve and talk about everything. to imagine Nightmare across from him and listening to him. Like old times.
Dream figures that is why his own grave nad Nim's are still up. Dream knows Nightmare has to come by to take care of both graves and Dream snorts as he imagines Nightmare just telling the two graves in all the things they had been wrong in and all the stupid lies they believed.
For now he sits down and pulls out a few little knick-knacks he had collected form across the multiverse.
Dream keeps his voice quiet. Afraid someone will hear and come ruin it "Hey little brother..." he can't forget anymore that Nightmare had been his younger twin. Yet it had always been Nightmare who took care of him. "I am back..."
finally back.
Dream traces the stone and wood structure he had made. all still in perfect condition. With the AU being dead there was no more decay.
Dream organises everything he had left before sitting across from it "Sorry it took me a while. I had a.... I had an identity crisis." he snorts "I know. ironic isn't it? Everyone was always so quick to help and guide me to be what i should be yet it helped nothing. I still ended up unsure about who i was or what i had to do..."
he looks at the snowglobe he had put down "I was always jealous of how you just seemed to have it all figured out. How you were confident in what you did. Both before and after the apples. it felt like i was failing, and i guess in the end i did fail as everything i believed had been a lie..."
Dream sighs as he leans his cheek on his knee as he keeps looking at the structure "It is stupid... I had all the help in the world, and then even the multiverse. and yet still i didn't figure it out. I still didn't figure out i was a god of balance over positivity. I still didn't figure out i was doing more harm than good..."
Dream traces the grey grass under him "I was so against picking a domain Nighty... partly because i didn't want to pick something and get you stuck with something you would be hated for. Not again... but that wasn't all."
Dream hugs his legs and confesses what had been weighing him down "I was afraid of picking wrong. No, I am afraid of picking soemthing wrong. That i will pick something and once again not understand it... How did you do it Nightmare? How did you figure out what you were suposed to do? You didn't have help yet you understood...."
Drema chuckles and rubs his cheek "Not that it matters anymore. aparently i did already pick... Reaper confirmed it for me not too long ago... a god of progress. What the hell does that even mean? What does it mean i should do? I know i aparently helped blue by inspiring him to get out of that loop but still! That was on accident! what if i once again go to far?! what if i..." he hides his face "What if i mess up again?"
Guilt and Dream chuckles "Here i go again... whining about my trouble... I don't even know what my choice and pick do you... what is even the oposite of progress?! regression? Did i make it so you are stuck with like... reset stuff?!" he sighs as he rubs his cheek and rubs the tears away "This shit is so unfair... neither of us ever asked for this. We never wanted this and no one tried to help us before yet expected us to just know."
Dream stares at the memorial. no answers of course but he does feel better after speaking about his worries.
Dream chuckles as he pats the memorial gently "But.... that wasn't why i am here. As you know... today is a special day!" he turns to his pack and pulls out a bottle. it is champagne. and a few cupcakes. he lays the cupcakes between him and the structure before putting a candle on both cupcakes and lighting them.
Dream smiles as he opens the bottle and holds it up to the grave "It is our birthday!"
Dream rubs his neck "I know it must seem weird. after all! For the last i don't even know how many years i had so many people to celebrate with and so many powers and even before that it were the villagers but... well..."
his voice grows softer and softer "I miss when it was just us. After we collected berries and fresh fruits. when we would sneak off together and sit by the river to eat the fruits together and give each other small gifts..." he pulls a small wooden statue from his pack.
Dream looks at it and rubs the wood. He had spend weeks on it. an old familiar skill now unfamiliar and feeling alien in his hands. he managed to make a small owl at least. even if one eye was clearly bigger than the other and Dream now had more splinters in his hands then ever before, even more than he first started.
He places it carefully in front of the memorial "I know it... it isn't my best work... I am going to be honest, it is porbably my worst..." he just hadn't had time to try again. He tried so many times but none of them have looked right and as time went by it just kept getting worse and suddenly he didn't have time anymore.
Dream chuckles "It sucks that i.... i didn't keep up with the hobby... I hope you kept reading at least... that you had the chance to keep reading... your picture and castle seemed to reinforce this at least... there were so many books in there! and the picture of you reading..." he rubs his arm as he keeps sitting right there "I am sorry... that you felt like he had to leave and run from your home... again..." he glances down adn chuckles "look at me... rambling... lets blow out the candles okay? I will blow out both. Don't forget to make a wish."
Drema leans down and blows out the candles on both cupcakes before putting his hands together and making his wish.
A silent whisper in his mind.
please.
please.
Just give him the chance to meet Nightmare again.
To talk to him one more time.
If only once to tell him he is sorry and that Dream loves him.
Dream opens his sockets and smiles at the grave, ignoring the tears that are leaving his sockets "Did you make a wish nightmare? Remember. No telling! otherwise it wont come true!"
Dream takes the two cupcakes and eats both before opening the champagne bottle and drinking straight from it. He isn't a fan of stuff like this but champagne is suposed to be for celebrations and well... celebrating himself and his twin seems like a good reason.
He spends his afternoon like that. just being in his old AU thinking back.
Fitting. a god of progress... stuck thinking about the past.
Dream chuckles and sighs "Blue said it is fine you know? To take time and get used to everything... I just hope... that you are doing the same... taking your time to rest after everything. I can only imagine how exhausting it would ahve been to have to do everything you did while everyone was actively working against you..." he smiles up "Good news for that though! I managed to visit pretty much everyone who knew either of us personally or about us! And i managed to explain the situation! so.. hopefully... whever you are or are planning on going, people will let you be and do your thing..."
Dream smiles at the memorial with the raised bottle "to us. to the future... and... I miss you... I am sorry i didn't make it obvious how much you mean to me..."
That had to be the reason why Nightmare hadn't searched him out yet... because he beleived that Dream hated him.
And that is on Dream. On dream for not doing a good job as brother and making it obvious that he loved his twin.
Dream hums as he leans against the stone structure "I love you nighty. And I promise you, I will make it up to you once we meet again."
Maybe that is why he is the god of progress. Because he is willing to move forwards and make it up. progress towards a new future.
Dream blinks and laughs "I bet you would have heard my title and figured it out immediantly." he giggles as he leans against the stone "Happy birthday Nightmare."
Happy birthday to me.
Dream sips the expensive bottle and enjoys the peace and silence.
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krasytoonz · 1 year
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how u draw eddie and barnaby is so silly and goofy like marketable plushies
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I sometimes get cuteness aggression when I draw them in the cutesy way (for example eddie right now)
And then another side of me wants to draw them in this out of pocket way with very detailed expressions
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marnorourastar · 3 months
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Regarding your last post about the kids' names, it really depends (for Orel's son) on whether or not Orel learned how terrible of a father Arthur was but as you said, he ought to find out sooner or later, and the truest thing to his character is to indeed avoid giving homage to another abuser (even if not towards him) because I like to think he'd try to break the cycle of abuse in every way (he doesn't wear a belt, and indeed not naming his son after an abusive family member despite them not affecting him directly.)
I also really like your suggestion of Holly, it's so cute. 😭😭
Personally I thought his daughter's name could be something related to angels or something angelic like Angelina cause I like to think both Christina and Orel would often refer to their kids w affectionate epithets like little angels or little sweethearts (cheesy af but it's cute) and it'd be a good occasion to give a name related to that. Besides it's also tied to religion, it means "messenger of God", and I think it's really a 50/50 of Orel's side and Christina's; his grandmother's name is Angela and u take the "ina" of Christina and there u go LMAOO
Anyways sorry for the fucking essay and if this ask is super unprompted 😭😭😭 I just love speculating about Orel's future in general cause we have literal crumbs 😭😭
Anyways I was also the anon asking for the Orel and his kids interaction thing so I was very fed, you're doing gods work as always I simply love ur art 🙏🙏
Have a nice day keep on slaying 🙏🙏
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You probably don't know how much I loved the idea of the name Angelina...it sounds damn cute.
And of course, you are right, he would never repeat that horrible cycle of abuse, but, as usual, I feel like at some point he couldn't be so understanding with his kids (I mean, no hitting, just scolding, normal stuff, but he feels it's the worst thing in the world) so...uh then he would have a little anxiety attack, maybe he would lock himself in his room to cry or blame himself for everything, he doesn't like his kids to see him like that, he's afraid they'll see him like he saw Clay. (Ohh silly traumatized man)
And oh, thank you so much HAHAGGG, I always try to give my best, I love Orel, I love talking about him, but I also love hearing opinions, and drawing related stuff, you know.
I'm so normal about him, yeah.
Plus anon you can talk whatever you want, I to like read the questions, and answer them :)
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deoidesign · 4 months
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something that makes me sad is when people tell me the healthy communication in my writing is "unrealistic."
like guys this is how me and my partner talk with eachother... I'm writing from personal experience...
#like it's sad both on the front of 'dehumanizing my real life'#but also on the front of 'you deserve to have healthy communication in your life'#like if you think this is unrealistic it means more than likely you havent experienced someone being patient and understanding with you#and that makes me very very sad#I'm sorry#also it's just rude to tell me my writing is unrealistic LOL like hey#real people talk all kinds of ways. shut up#I've been told it's also in part cause they always understand their own feelings when theyre talking#but I'm like...#theyre like mid 30-early 40 and theyre immortal and theyre going through a lot of shit#I feel like theyve thought about it a lot#also the comic takes place over the course of a year so far#we're seeing the big moments and the fun mysteries#so#its about grown men who love eachother#sorry that they think about what they want to say before they say it#also as if adam isnt constantly wrong and steve isnt constantly pushing shit down#he's only JUST RECENTLY starting to share his emotions as they come up#instead of pretending theyre not there and letting things boil over#I think people just THINK theyre communicating way too clearly because their partner#who loves them#is listening and responding with kindness#like..#idk I have a lot of thoughts about this#would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE for this to spark a discussion#and especially for it to cause people to reread a little more critically#and perhaps even introspect on their own ideas of communication standards#I've been with my partner for 10 years. this is how we talk to eachother
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undead-moth · 2 months
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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
#The Bear#SydCarmy#I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago#and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind#I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me#it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place#so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life#and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment#and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult#these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how#and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that#could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day#and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all#because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like#it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing#like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have#kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing#and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to#get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually#what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human#and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point
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amphirrhvx · 2 months
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ooo he's eating 🍜(HS'05 AU takeda was made by @kiinuuzzz <3)
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sunnibits · 7 months
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loving reminder as someone who struggles with food: you are allowed to add joy to your food. you are allowed to add a little joy even if it’s a tiny thing, something silly or something weird. you are allowed to do it whenever you want, as many times as you want. anything that makes food easier and more enjoyable for you is worth it!! it’s your food, you can decide what to do with it!! you can add rainbow sprinkles to your ice cream. you can cut your food into little heart shapes. you can pack your snacks into cute little bento boxes. it is not pointless or childish, it is an effective and active coping tool that you are allowed to use.
give yourself a little joy. the little things add up.
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hajihiko · 4 months
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sorry if I phrase this wrong, I have a bad habit of doing that lol
First of all, UR THE BEST!!!! I love love love ur art so much and it makes me so many mushy ways and makes me ooper happy and whenever I’m having a bad day I look at ur art and I feel better. The way u draw is so… yay.
anyway, with that out if the way, I have a itty bitty question. I’ve noticed that a lot of the time you e drawn post game Mikan with a flatter chest. I was wondering if you have a specific head canon about that or if that’s just the way you like to draw her? Might be a weird question, but I was thinking abt it and didn’t see any harm in asking.
have a lovely day!!!
no i just legit think about women without a bra most of the time. If you don't wear a bra, your chest is gonna be way less pronounced. I like to imagine the ppl on the island being comfortable enough that they dot bother with that kind of thing
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utilitycaster · 1 year
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I've gotten a couple replies of "and that's terrifying" on this post about the more stable members of Bells Hells, and, to be honest, hate that, so let's talk about it.
There's a couple reasons. The first that I still don't know who the fuck thought the Issylra half of the party split would be Team Levelheaded and not Team Abandonment Issues, because, well, it's the latter. The second is that there's been a near constant undercurrent from quite early in the campaign of "oh Orym...he's going to break...he's a powder keg" and while he's decidedly not a powder keg, we did get him finally breaking a bit, and suddenly everyone's like "HORRIFYING that the guy I kept claiming was uniquely angsty is now having a harder time with the party split than the other characters whose equally tragic backstories I've consistently ignored, diminished, and dismissed."
All three of the Bells Hells characters in Team Issylra have issues related to loneliness and being left behind, which is a common thread through the party, but notably, Fearne, FCG, and Chetney being more stable should not be surprising nor scary. Resilience isn't tied to whether or not you're somewhat chaotic, or have mechanically-induced loss of control, and that's what we're talking about here. The reason why Team Issylra is having a rough time of it - and specifically why Laudna and Orym are falling apart whereas Ashton is doing comparatively well - is because they've been constantly pretending things are okay. Chetney, meanwhile, genuinely does think the worst thing that happened to him fucking rules, and has the age and perspective and sheer survival instincts to pull through; FCG has, within the story, had to face some horrifying realizations about himself and so has some tools for this kind of situation; and Fearne is to be honest still learning that consequences are a thing that happens, but she has dealt with a few profound disappointments and is sitting with them - she openly admitted she's not terribly impressed by her parents.
On the other hand, I think Orym has worked through the earlier stages of grief, to be sure, but he's put a brave face on over it and tried to look at the bright side. Which isn't the worst idea, but it means when the things he's built that idea of a bright side upon - Keyleth's infallibility, his relationships within the Crown Keepers - are nowhere to be found, he doesn't have anything to take hold of. He adjusted to one devastating change by clinging to the constants, and now that many of the constants are gone too, he has no mechanism to process the change in their absence.
And this is Laudna's whole deal, right? I do in fact agree that her initial death was still the worst thing that's happened to her so far, but that doesn't mean she can't still be incredibly upset by major events. It's comforting to know you've survived worse, but it doesn't necessarily help you actually get through a slightly less terrible (but still pretty terrible) situation. She says she can't stop compartmentalizing or she'll cry - but like, she'd probably feel better if she'd just spent the second watch crying. Like Orym, Laudna's developed this idea that she can will things into being okay, and in the end, she can't. Leaning into the "Today SUCKS" attitude would, honestly, help her, and I'm hoping she does so.
Ashton meanwhile doesn't have healthy coping mechanisms, but they do have coping mechanisms that work in this situation (namely, drinking and hitting things). He also, more importantly, has no investment in pretending things are okay. Ashton thinks the world is full of utter bullshit that will fuck you over, and the point is to get through it, and sure, it's a very cynical mindset, but there's a reason why toxic positivity is, well, toxic.
As a sidebar, I also think that Ashton has, fascinatingly and despite their drunken talk with Laudna on the skyship, put their abandonment issues into perspective. Ashton is able to handle the current situation because, logically, they were teleported to a random location beyond their control and with no capacity to contact other people, so it's reasonable to assume the other half of the party is in the same position. No one abandoned anyone. To quote Ashton themself, actually, from episode 25, "Sometimes shit's just fucked up, and the only thing you can do because you didn't do anything fucking wrong, is get the fuck back up and do the exact same thing all over again knowing that there was nothing to learn." On the other hand, the fact that Milo saved Ashton makes that particular situation worse. If Ashton had been left to die in the street and a random uninvolved stranger picked him up? Then you can at least imagine the Nobodies had to leave, or couldn't pick them up for whatever reason, or even perished themselves. The fact that Milo was able to make this choice means the Nobodies also had the ability to make a choice, and the choice was to leave them behind, and that's what stings, and that's the unique loneliness, and that's why this situation isn't comparable.
So anyway, in summary, it's unsurprising the two people who have handled grief and tragedy by trying to quietly (in Orym's case) and not-so-quietly (in Laudna's) smooth it over are finding themselves completely unable to do so and barely holding together, whereas the people who allow themselves to be upset or, frankly, just go apeshit, are doing much better.
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gideonisms · 8 months
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I will admit I hate the trend towards measuring how Healthy fictional relationships are. they're not breakfast cereals! we don't need to measure the amount of fiber! even if it did matter how much fiber a fictional relationship has "healthy" is also a very general, vibes-based word for concepts that I think we probably should get more specific about
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hypervoxel · 6 months
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The first time Vox said, "I love you," to Valentino, it went horribly wrong, because Val laughed and made a joke about how often he's heard that as a sex worker (especially now that he's in Hell and has become a walking talking aphrodisiac that Vox was currently high on). Vox is now so self conscious about his feelings and has never voiced them that way since. In Val's mind, he told Vox to only say that if he means it, but Vox hasn't told Val he loves him ever again, so Val certainly isn't going to be the one to say it first.
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cryptiduni · 1 year
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“white mourning.”
#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice#judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry#he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as#he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco#you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen#his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but#jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control#i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to ​jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late#my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon#disco elysium#de fanart#jean vicquemare#disco elysium fanart#jean heron vicquemare#jean posting#illustration#de#artists on tumblr#I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings#my little maiu maiu#cryptiduni#my art
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bayesiandragon · 6 months
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Everything else notwithstanding, I firmly think that SJ's rage towards YQY - regardless of how you feel about the degree to which he acted out towards him - was reasonable given that he believes (with justification given the little info he has) that his one childhood friend, who knew very well the vicious abuse he was experiencing, just fucked off to live the good life he found and left him to suffer. Like completely separate from anything else, I don't see how hating someone who to your knowledge abandoned you to die, even if they're sorry/guilty once they saw you survived, is wrongheaded or misguided. I honestly saw their whole relationship as emblematic of the prominent themes of miscommunication in SVSSS, on YQY's side due to a mixture of feeling like he's sparing the other party and his own trauma. A direct parallel (and later a foil) to SY and LBH at the abyss.
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