#i mean i'd do a shit job of it at my current level of understanding.

[mios-axe]

i love setting goals for myself im so good at reaching goals

[noridoorman]

# Nuzi is not a pro-ship, I'm so tired that needs to be repeated #

I went on Twitter for like the first time (what a mistake) and saw again and again people complaining about how Nuzi is a pro-ship, Uzi is just a teen, N is an adult, yadda yadda and it gets so tiring at some point.

one point might be a bit controversial tho oops

"Uzi said herself that she's a teenager!"

Yes, she did. But teens can range from the ages of 13-20. It is a wide spectrum that is thankfully narrowed down by episode 3 when it is revealed that all classmates in her class are around the ages of 18-20. There's nobody younger than 18, meaning that it's highly unlikely that Uzi is 17 and even more unlikely that she's 16. She has to be around the ages of 18-20.

"But Uzi does to highschool, which only teens between the ages of 15-17 go to!"

That is if you assume that the drones only adopted the American school system. However, we've got a drone that only speaks Russian and a manuel for drone parents that is translated in French. In Germany, adults over the age of 18 can visit highschools. Heck, I'm 19 and currently in my 12th year of highschool. I'll be 20 in my final years where my prom will happen too, which, again, indicated that Uzi is older than what everyone assumes.

"How come Uzi is older than 18 if there are parent-teacher conferences?"

Again, my school also has parent-teacher conferences, even for the students that are adults. It's an optional thing and at this point in the story, Khan wanted to somehow reconnect with Uzi again which makes sense that he visits the parent-teacher conference.

"Uzi is shorter than her classmates, indicating that she's younger!"

Short adults exist, I don't need to elaborate further.

"Uzi's mom died shortly after she was made. N was already an adult at that time!"

We've seen through flashbacks from Doll that her parents died while she was a teen/not a pill baby. The same could have happened to Uzi, that Nori died while she was older. Also, N already being an adult is something I wanna unpack in the next argument.

"Uzi at some point asks about her mother, indicating that she never truly knew her! This implies that Uzi was a baby when Nori died!"

Yes, N could have also killed Nori while Uzi was a baby. But guess what?

N was a "baby" too.

Bear with me.

If we really wanna go by ages of the drones, we should remember that ALL the drones aged differently. Uzi was the only one that was a pill-baby before. N, V and J weren't, they were all in adult bodies. Yet, they were all around the same age of Uzi.

The way I understand the timeline is like this;

Uzi is made. N gets rescued from the scrapyard and saved by Tessa. I'd like to assume that he only got to live a few months before being discarded, as we can see that humans act very carelessly with their drones. So, Uzi is essentially a newborn while N is around 3-5 months old.

about 2 years pass. Both N and Uzi are two-years-old. However, ONLY UZI IS A PILL BABY DRONE. N was always in the default worker drone body. He can talk, move and do a bunch of things a 2-year-old shouldn't be able to do. However, if we base age on maturity and life experiences than he's no more an adult than Uzi was. All of his capabilities are programmed, he'll literally just die if he can't do those things cause otherwise he's defective. (BTW, NOT JUSTYFING PPL THAT GO "oh, you're mature for your age" OR SHIT LIKE THAT. I'M JUST SAYING THAT IN TERMS OF MATURITY, THEY WERE MOST LIKELY ON THE SAME LEVEL)

Uzi is now 3-years-old and the diassembly drones killed Nori. It'll make sense why she doesn't remember much of Nori and ask questions about her. N is also 3-years-old and he, along with V and J, are doomed to kill Worker Drones until they finish their job and die due to overheating.

By that logic, N AND UZI ARE AROUND THE SAME AGE.

Of course we can't get a clear timeline of events as Liam said that he doesn't want to write himself into a corner. But this is the one that makes me most sense to me unless somebody manages to proof me otherwise.

UZI WAS A PILL BABY, N WAS NOT.

N might aswell have been a pill baby this whole time and nobody would have batted an eye. Their physical bodies do not equal their mental maturity and age, those are completely seperate entities.

I might have fumbled on my words a lot, I'm not a native English speaker. I still hope this was easy to explain without me having said something wrong accidentaly.

"N x Uzi just came out of nowhere for fanservice!"

It was confirmed that the scirpt of Murder Drones was finished way back at episode 1 before the ship became even popular. Heck, Glitch posted a picture of Beau before the second episode dropped. Also, animations takes such a long time to do with lots of planing. Last minute changes are extremely risky to make and no professional studio like GLITCH would do that just to appease the fans.

"They killed of V to make Nuzi canon!"

I agree with the part that V should have gotten more screentime before her death.

But she wasn't killed off to make Nuzi happen.

She just went through an entire charachter arc from this drone that masks her trauma thorugh feiging apathy/joy in killing and always making decisions based on what she thought was right because she couldn't trust the people around her, not even N.

At the end, when V sacrificed herself, she finally recognized that Uzi is not CYN, she's as much as a victim as V was and that Uzi truly cares about N like she does. Her sacrifice was there to show how she finally manages to trust Uzi, even though she most likely knows how dangerous Uzi can get if she loses control. I just wished they build up towards that more cause it would have been so much better but she wasn't killed off to make Nuzi happen.

There are probably more arguments that I missed...

[fireflowersims]

Pinned post for reasons:

Why make this post

Bunch of reasons. Mostly bc I currently have a lot on my mind

Who are you?

Fire(flower)(sims); a simmer whose most popular posts are about international events for some reason

Full legal name, age, address and credit card details?

Haha no

For which games do you create?

Sims Medieval of course! (just kidding).

No, I create for the Sims 2 and Sims 2 only.

Aren't you part of Sun&Moon?

Yup. I mostly do coding, optimization and localisation stuff.

Why is a simblr posting about politics and news sometimes? I came here for pixel people, not flesh people!

Sometimes rl news and crap just gets ya and you gotta release those emotions. Politics? They're unfortunately pretty inescapable. Also tumblr is often so US-centric, someone has to post about things affecting Europe too.

Why do you have opinions on the Israel/Palestine situation?

Because I think that shutting off people's access to water, food, electricity and medicine and then bombing their housing and killing civilians is a crime against humanity. Not to mention the whole colonization aspect. Also, my grandfather lived through the Dutch winter famine of 1944 and I do not wish the trauma he got from that on anyone.

Why aren't you (more) active?

RL shit. I have a job that takes up a lot of time and energy. Rn my dad has a type of cancer that is both relatively rare, difficult to treat and a high mortality rate to boot, very stressful to say the least. Insert wayyyy more shit besides that.

You're a metalhead? What type of metal? Got any recommendations?

Folk metal, black metal and death metal for the most part atm. But I also listen to other subgenres. Do ask me about cool songs, albums or artists I've been vibing to. I'd love that. (I need distractions)

Folk metal? Black metal? You some nationalist or alt-right wackadoodle?

There are things I like about my country and things I absolutely despise about it. I do not believe anyone's religion or ethnicity makes them inherently superior to others, so no: I'm no nationalist alt-right wackadoodle. If anything, I'd call myself anarchist-leaning. I just got into metal via blackened folk metal, that's all.

Ew politics

Yeah, agreed. Politics ew, yucky stuff

When are you going to be posting sims stuff again?

Difficult to say. When I have time, when I have energy. I do have a whole lot of stuff I want to finish up and post.

Hobbies

Sims, sleeping, cooking, music, travel, doing weird stuff for shits and giggles sometimes

What languages do you speak?

Depends. Dutch natively, Low Saxon ??? (It's complicated), English fluently. German and (EU) Spanish decent enough but fluctuate depending on how often I get to use them.

A bunch of others to various much lower levels. Just bc I can conjugate some verbs, string together a sentence or two or know some words, doesn't mean I can have a conversation or understand anything beyond "hi, yes, thank you, bye"

What do you do irl?

Internet stuff. You're not gonna get anything more specific. It describes it perfectly.

Fandoms?

Wouldn't you like to know

Will this post or your awful theme ever be modified?

Probably and possibly. We'll see

END

[applescabs]

I was tagged by my buddy @phoenixfangs so lets goooo

Are you named after anyone? I've heard this story a buncha times so I'm pretty sure my mom got my birth name from a singer. She heard it on tv and liked it a lot, back then it wasn't a very common name in my country. My names as of now are 50/50, Tom didn't come from anyone but Teddie was 100% something I picked up from Teddie p4, hahah.

When was the last time you cried? Last Sunday when I rewatched ep 11 of Bucchigiri. especially during the part where Zabu got the absolute shit beaten out of him. Finn came home right after that and doesn't understand that one of the big points of media is to reach you emotionally, so he thought it was weird that I was crying.

Do you have kids? Nah, but I'd like to some day, if fate allows it.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not nearly as much as I used to, because most of my friends are autistic and don't get it most of the time, so I just end up upsetting them whenever I do use it. Being sincere is much more fun anyways.

What sports do you play? None, but I would love to swim or ice skate (or, hell, do some skiing). Neither are really possible for me atm, unfortunately (do you have any idea how expensive skiing is btw. it's crazy). When I was a kid I did gymnastics and streetdance, I also played tennis briefly as a teen, but had to quit due to a lack of people in my age group playing at that club.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? I usually take note of how someone dresses and does their hair. Ever notice how dull most people's clothes are? I like seeing styles that stand out.

What’s your eye colour? Brown, it's not a particularly dark shade, but I wouldn't call it hazel (my dad has hazel eyes though).

Scary movies or happy endings? This ones a little... vague? But I guess if I had to choose... I wouldn't. I don't care about genre or what type of emotional impact it has, as long as it's coherent and entertaining in its own right. (That doesn't mean I don't care about quality btw. I literally just. watch anything and judge it for what it is.)

Any special talents? I'm a boss at packing in groceries quickly and efficiently. Not a talent that everyone possesses, I've learned (sorry Minke <3).

Where were you born? Netherlands babeyyy ✌ North-Holland to be a bit more precise. I lived next to a dyke (not that kind) so I got the real under-sea-level experience. I still live around the area but not in my hometown anymore.

What are your hobbies? Drawing, (writing?), translation and the nuances that come with it, watching movies, tv shows, animes, cartoons, playing video games, reading books, comics and manga. (and then talking about cinematography, parallels, themes, symbolism and the likes) I also collect soda cans (+ the occasional glass bottle), candy packaging, and anime figurines + other merch.

Do you have any pets? My little baby Jody (dog) who I've had since I was 7 years old! She's about to have her sweet 16 on the 23rd (that's in 2 weeks!) she's getting blind and deaf as hell but she's still lively and sweet as ever <3 And my sweet Tiger of course, who's of undetermined age (around 8/9 the vet said) and currently living with my good friend Minke and their 2 other cats (he does not like them) and dog (he is ok with her). He's not with me rn because my mom's bf is allergic, unfortunately.

How tall are you? 1 meter 59. that single centimeter haunts me. I would've also preferred an additional 10 as well.

Favourite subject in school? Art history used to my favourite in high school, and when I was in film school for a brief period I loved film history. I just love anything pertaining to the arts and it's history that involves analysing and comparing it to other time periods, really.

Dream job? I wanna be someone's househusband and make a buncha weird art on the side. Not kidding btw. But if I had to choose a more conventional dream job... it had to be something in the creative or design industry, otherwise I'll probably die of unhappiness.

tageroonie @kuwupikaa @sunflowermews @xrd @isleofair @spunktrumpetsasara and uhhh other mutuals who feel inclined to do this 👉👈

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

If you were offered the same job, like hotel registration in general, but as far away from Florida as possible, would you take it?

If by "as far away" you mean "on Earth," then no, because I rather like living on land instead of at sea 1000 miles off the coast of Perth, Australia.

Honest answer, maybe. I don't think I could ever work for a big chain, because I hate company culture so fucking much. I have a lot of freedom at the little Mom and Pop motel I work at now, and I'd have to give that up if I got a job at a Marriott or Holiday Inn. The job itself is easy, it's just the clientele I hate with a burnimg passion; check out my tag "all tourists are bastards" for the greatest hits.

My boss doesn't care what I do or say as long as I get the job done. No uniform, no fake smile, no manager breathing down my neck. She understands that the customer is often wrong, and doesn't take shit from anyone. If someone complains about something beyond our control, she takes my side and tells them to suck it up or leave.

The absolute greatest part about my current job is that I'm not expected to do anything between customers. Sure, every now and then my boss will give me chores, but that only happens as they're needed

If FedEx drops off a package for a customer, I walk it to their room

If a customer smears their sweaty hands all over the office door, I clean it

If the brochure display runs low, I fill it

But that's all just part of the job. My boss never just finds shit for me to do to fill time. If there's nothing to do, I can go on my phone or read a book or draw, and she doesn't care. I have plenty of downtime, and it does wonders for my mental health. No other hotel on Earth would allow me such a privilege because most front desks are in a public communal area where I'd have to put on my Customer Service Face™ at all times, while the office door at my current job is locked 24/7 with a big neon PLEASE RING DOORBELL FOR SERVICE sign hung up at eye level. I don't have to stand all day, I only have to get up when they buzz so I can open the door for them from the inside. There's no stool at the desk, I stand for every customer, but once they leave I can go to the back room and sit in a recliner (though I'm not allowed to recline it; still comfy)

No Best Western manager would ever let me cuss out a customer who started shit. My boss lets me defend myself, and I appreciate that more than anything. Customers are liars, and she knows it. I love, love, LOVE when they start arguing with me and ask to speak with my manager, only for her to tell them exactly what I did, verbatim. Hell, it's gotten to the point that I offer to get her involved from the start, "oh, you don't like what I telling you? Do you want to speak with my boss, the owner?" We don't need their business, this place has been a community cornerstone for decades, no amount of entitled asshole reviews will ever tank it.

If I could find a nice Mom and Pop place somewhere up north, and if I could establish a mutually respectful relationship with the owner, I'd take the job in a heartbeat, but every time I google a state I want to move to I get met with dozens of horror stories telling me that it's not all it's cracked up to be. Everyone hates where they live, that's a given, but to someone living in Weimar Germany (almost Nazi), those places look like paradise in comparison. Oregon, Washington state, Vermont, Massachusetts, they seem like beacons of hope to lil ole naive me. Ideally I want to move to New Zealand, but that's beyond my budget (and probably always will be). Nowhere is safe from crazy, but some places are more tolerable.

[thesinglesjukebox]

AYRA STARR FT. SEYI VIBEZ - "BAD VIBES"

We mostly vibe with this...

[6.78]

Kayla Beardslee: One of the greatest casualties of TSJ pausing coverage in fall 2022 was us not being able to review Ayra Starr’s luminous breakout single "Rush" and give it the [10]s it deserves. Ayra is only 21, but her voice has a depth and wisdom beyond her years that imbues her music with a sense of warmth, purpose, and true star quality. "Bad Vibes" doesn’t match the lofty heights of "Rush," and I prefer "Commas" among the singles off her new album, but it's really an embarrassment of riches -- I’ve heard a lot of Ayra Starr songs, and not a single one of them has been bad. [7]

Julian Axelrod: Ayra Starr's new album The Year I Turned 21 features a stacked guest list typical of any buzzy artist's sophomore effort, from Asake to Giveon to Coco Jones. So it's telling that the teaser singles were solo highlight "Commas" and "Bad Vibes," a collaboration with fellow Afrobeats up-and-comer Seyi Vibez, who has a tenth of his host's monthly listeners on Spotify. This time, Ayra's betting on herself: her songwriting, her voice, and her eye for talent. The sidewinding chanted chorus gives the track enough heft to counterbalance its airy vibe. But the backing choir nearly overpowers Ayra's agile runs, and by the time you get through two spins of the hook and a totally fine Seyi verse, Ayra's bridge almost feels like a feature on her own song. It's also the highlight, mixing a weary flow with delightfully oblique turns of phrase ("If something's coming, I'll see it through my lashes") that prove she's shrewd enough to land a hit without relying on star power. But by the end of the song, I still don't fully understand Starr's power. [6]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Somehow more of an Asake track than the one that actually features him, “Bad Vibes” is mostly interesting because of the group chants and melancholy strings. There’s not much underneath all this, which means I’m mostly stuck thinking about how everything that made Asake enthralling has been reduced to pure vibes here, which was also my impression of Seyi Vibez’s album last year.  [4]

Nortey Dowuona: Ayra's continued success does prompt me to say that the homie ran background vocals for her on tour, and you should ask for her to do so too. Would've been a better use of Seyi Vibez too, tbh. [8]

Ian Mathers: Both named performers do a fine job, but honestly the whole thing could have been the massed group vocals (yes, including doing the currently solo parts) and I'd be just as happy, if not happier. [7]

Jonathan Bradley: Ayra Starr brings an American flow to these Nigerian beats, sounding reminiscent of Future or Young Thug as she raps "I'm leading a life that can clean me from my past shit/Burn all this money and leave it in my ashes." It forms an oddly familiar anchor for a tune that floats otherwise off into a blissful transcendence. The choir massed on the hook resists those who might throw bad vibes; I can't imagine negativity having any chance of finding a foothold on a beat so liquid, so cleansing. [8]

Taylor Alatorre: I've always found the "good vibes only" type of song to be superfluous at best and nauseating at worst, not least because it points to a trend of younger generations speaking like the marketers who are paid well to capture them (see also phrases like "FOMO" and "life hack," thankfully neither of which is a pop trope). "Bad Vibes" guards against this tendency by aiming not to conjure positivity out of nothing, but rather to ward off the negative feelings and events that it knows are always skulking nearby. "I need my enemies deceased" sits a bit uneasily next to the multiple appeals for God's heavenly favor, but Ayra Starr says it with such lightness in her voice that it feels like she's requesting it as a favor to them. Nothing wrong with raising the stakes of an otherwise inconsequential party song to Old Testament levels. [7]

Katherine St. Asaph: Well, the title's half accurate. [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Contrary-wise, the vibe here is quite good — especially in the interchange between the chanted, monolithic choir of the hook and the verses, where Ayra Starr and Seyi Vibez deftly trade boasts. They both sound so cool; obviously trying quite hard in the way of early twentysomethings since time immemorial, but here their effort enhances the performance rather than detract from it: by the end, I was fully bought into the experience. [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[pumpumdemsugah]

I'm begging you to even partially spill the beans on how you managed to get a good job! 😭 I seriously regret not doing a stem course and wish I'd just taken a year out before applying to figure out which subjects actually provided you with job prospects or at least transferrable skills because I was not ready. My uni careers service has been pretty useless- mostly the same generic CV + interview advice.

Lool I have given advice before. I have a creative degree and if I'm a good little employee, I should do well in this job

I think beyond having a good CV and interview skills, it's understanding what skills they're looking for and what skills you have, which will make you feel like shit.

The change in what sort of jobs I could get happened when I used the right language and I don't mean like " I'm motivated" but instead of talking about a process where I captured screenshots, edited them and uploaded it onto a database I used phrases like ' mapped a user journey ' ( because I did ) and when I created a formatted a spreadsheet I ' build a database that replaced an unsecure paper file ' learn to talk about what you've done really well. You don't want to bullshit too hard you sound stupid either

You have to focus on similar times of jobs or you'll wear yourself out having to dramatically change language on your CV but you need to know what jobs you're trying to apply for and what's realistic. I have a little document with paragraphs answering different questions I typically saw on the sorts of job applications I'd go for, so if I need to write a paragraph explaining how I do X, I already have something I can quickly edit. I have this document because I applied for alot of jobs

Getting good at Excel and by good I mean you can use basic stuff and even if you can't do more, you'll be able to reasonably learn. Even if you can't use a software, make sure you have awareness of it and whatever software is used in your current or previous job, find out if it's something other industries use so you can mention it. Blah blah my manager would set me talks on JIRA. Bull shitting doesn't work if you don't know what you're talking about

I also looked for jobs that heavily implied they want to train people or there will be opportunities to learn X coding languages. There were jobs I could get but there were no opportunities for growth and large organisations ( I don't mean like Google ) or public organisations typically have this , especially the ones that love going on about being inclusive, in my experience.

I didn't apply for internships or placements because I'm too old lol but there are many entry level type office jobs. Don't apply for being an administrator. It sounds like it's an easy job to get but it's not ( well in my experience ). There was a period I looked up every job with the word assistant in it and looked at what skills they need and what language from the job description I can reasonably copy

You can talk to me off anon if you want : )

[dinner-djarin]

dar'manda (Mando x f!reader insert)

Prologue

(Inspired by this scene)

Summary: You've been working as a merchant on Nevarro for years now, only out of necessity. Life really wasn't going your way. At least until the Mandalorian came by your booth. Now he's all you think about, and soon he'll be even more.

Warnings: Probably some swearing (real and in universe), violence (eventually), smut (eventually), No use of Y/N, slowburn/fluff (for the first little while)

Notes: Takes place at the end of season 1, and will mostly take place between season one and two. I have been sitting on this for a while due to some fear about reception by the fandom, but honestly I just need to stop thinking about it so here we go. She's going out into the world, and I hope you enjoy. (Also I wrote this prologue like 2 months ago so it isn't quite where I'd like it to be but if you read this please just stick with me, I swear my writing gets better lol)

You don’t know how long it’s been since you last saw him. Weeks? Months? But you can’t get that damn tin can out of your head.

You really have no reason to be this hung up on him. He’s barely spoken to you, you’ve never even seen his face, so it should be easy enough to move on from whatever childish infatuation you have over him. Right? Maker, what kind of person crushes on a mask and a suit of armour?

But there’s something about him, something that keeps him planted in your subconscious. You’ve tried to find the words to explain it, but nothing ever comes close. You can't even begin to understand how this man has completely overtaken your every waking thought.

He used to come by every couple of weeks, and you’d savour every delectable minute of the interaction, but that was all before shit hit the fan of course. You weren't there to see it but when you came back to work the next day it was all anyone could talk about.

“Apparently the metal man broke some Guild rule, and practically all of the other bounty hunters tried to kill him for it.” You heard over your shoulder. As much as you liked to keep to yourself, you couldn’t help form eavesdropping on a conversation between merchants. You did have a guilty pleasure for drama, probably to fill the uneventful void that your mundane life had now become.

“The Mandalorian? He broke their code then!” one exclaimed.

“I heard he went back for a bounty,” someone else whispered.

“What could make someone do something so stupid?” questioned a merchant lady you already didn’t particularly like.

“He doesn’t strike me as stupid,” you interrupt, trying to stick up for the man you were currently enamoured with. “If he did it, there must be a valid reason.”

“If he did it?” She sneered. “Do you not see the damage he left behind? People will be out of business for sure. It’ll take weeks to clean up the mess he made.”

“Then I guess I hope it was worth it. That it wasn't in vain.” You state, putting an end to the conversation. You hoped the man – that you already liked against your better judgement – wouldn’t cause so much harm without some justification.

In the wake of his rebellion, a covert of other masked hunters revealed themselves, shot up the town, and then vanished without a word. And so did your Mandalorian.

Woah hold on. Not yours. Just one random Mandalorian that you’ve said a handful of words to and have harboured a secret crush over.

From the second you saw him you pretty much knew you were screwed. Between the husky modulated voice, and the broad as hell shoulders, there was pretty much no way to quell the instant attraction that rose up in you. His presence alone was suffocating. Nothing could stop the way your vocal cords tightened to the point of forcing out a soft squeal at his sight. The whole time he talked to you, you could feel his visor latch onto your body – pinning you to the spot.

You thought you might find some relief when he left. Quite the opposite. You couldn't help but gawk at the way his body moved, like he knew he was hot shit. He took your damn breath away. And you were glad to know that he couldn't see your lips part to let out a soft moan, or the way they pursed back together as you unconsciously swallowed the suddenly copious amount of saliva pooling in your mouth. Fucking delicious, you thought, shamelessly.

Maybe it was the fact that you knew he could take anyone down in milliseconds. He was untouchable, and this latest defiance proved that. No one crossed the Guild. Well, no one crossed the Guild and got away with it. But if anyone could, it would be Mando.

And there’s another thing. You don’t even know his name. Which means that you’re forced to call him the colloquial slang that is commonly used by outsiders of the Mandalorian culture. “Mando”. You couldn’t help but think about how it almost sounded like an insult, especially when slurred from the mouth of other criminals. You hated the way people spat the word out at him, obviously trying to get him worked up; to see what he was made of. It made you desperately wish that you had a better name to call him, his real name. An intimate piece of knowledge that you could hold on to, something of him that no one else had.

Maybe that made you selfish. Even so, there was so much you wished you knew about him. He was a complete mystery.

To be fair, he probably didn’t even know your own name. You can't recall him asking for it, or if you ever introduced yourself. You were pretty much a bumbling mess the first time you met him. To the point where even if you had tried to say your name it probably would have sounded like you were speaking Huttese. Although, who could blame you. It wasn’t very conventional to introduce yourself to every customer. The people on Nevarro usually kept to themselves, especially the bounty hunters. There wasn’t much room for ‘customer service’. But damn you wish you had tried to make some sort of introduction. Even if it had come out as incoherent nonsense, you think it may have made talking to him later a bit easier.

However, none of that matters if he never comes back, and you bet he won’t. He’s smarter than that. To pull what he did, he’s probably on the other side of the galaxy right now.

Even so, you’ll miss the shared awkward silences and stolen glances that came with each of his visits. Whenever he’d come into the shop, he’d list off what he needed to stock up on, using the most deep and captivating voice you think you’d ever heard. If he hadn’t had that helmet covering his face, you’d swear he stared right into your soul as he did so. It almost made you weak in the knees every damn time. You’d then rummage through each supply crate and gather the best quality of every item, and finally – just to bring your humiliation to an all-time high – you’d give him a discount for absolutely no discernible reason. He took notice of the reduced price the first time and thanked you, only for you to be berated by your boss once he left. Eventually, to your dismay, the niceties came to a halt. Maybe he forgot what full price was, maybe he just couldn’t care less.

Either way, it looks like you’d risked your job for the last time. It’s a shame. For a planet full of bounty hunters and hardened criminals, there’s actually not a lot to entertain you. A shootout here, an escaped bounty there, but nothing that satisfied your desire for an exciting lifestyle.

The closest you got to that would be each time some wide-eyed, eager, wannabe-bounty-hunter strolled through town looking for a chance to weasel their way up the ladder of the Guild. They definitely thought they were more important than they actually were, and they always made a point of showing off for you. Not that you were anything special, just the closest thing with cleavage usually. They’d probably brag about their rank and their kill counts, things you could not care less about. A few of them actually had the balls to ask you out, but it usually only ended in a free meal or drink. To be fair though that was very intentional on your part. It was fun to play the part of a flirtatious girl from the market for a while, and almost exciting to think about how you were completely screwing over those assholes.

Over the time you’ve spent alone in the galaxy you learned exactly how to read those kinds of people. You knew just how far to go, just what to say or do until you got what you needed. As much as you weren’t a fan of physical affection, you often brushed your target's arm or thigh, played with their hair, or if the situation really demanded it – madeout with them behind the cantina. But you always made a point of stopping before things got too far. You may not be a complete saint, but you knew none of the scumbags you met were worth your time.

You wouldn’t have allowed things to go any further. Not with them. Going any further could only be a letdown, and you were fine to take those matters into your own hands…. literally. You may be a complete flirt, but only as a skill to survive in this grimy and dangerous galaxy. You learned early on that being young and female was a vulnerability. That was at least until you discovered how that vulnerability could be shaped into one of your most valuable strengths.

When you think about him though… well something about him made your entire badass facade disappear into thin air. You lost any cool you had the minute he walked past your vendor. Not to mention that there was something else about him that told you he’d see right through it anyway. Maybe it was the visor. Some special setting to read the level of bullshit.

As far as you’ve seen, he doesn’t take anyone’s shit. He definitely isn’t the type to make others feel comfortable in a conversation. He says precisely what he needs to get his point across, nothing more. Never once had you heard him use more than 10 words at a time.

On a few occasions you were lucky enough to end up in the cantina at the same time as him. Whether you were on a break or entertaining some dead-beat for free lunch, you remember how fast your heart would beat when the glint of his helmet met your vision. You wondered if he noticed your presence, or if he even recognized you away from your vendor at the market.

One time you were in the next booth over. Your spine straightened, and your whole body shivered when he slid into his seat and placed himself directly behind you. The proximity was electrifying. It made every neuron in your body fire rapidly and your blood vessels pump impossibly fast. You were probably supposed to be listening to the slimeball buying your drinks drone on about how impressive his last capture was, but the baritone emanating from behind ensnared every ounce of focus you had.

“I’ll take the highest pay” he muttered through the modulator.

“I do have other hunters, Mando. I can’t always guarantee you get the best of the lot.” replied his employer. A smile maintained on his face even when confronting an unforgiving barricade.

“I’m sure you do. But high price means high risk.” Mando responded. His employer’s confused silence forced him to continue. “Those skilled enough to take on the bounties know better than to do so.”

The Guild leaders' laughter bounced off the walls making many patrons turned their heads, while others continued their business, obviously being used to this behaviour.

You were left puzzled in that moment, completely baffled by this interaction. It wasn't until much later that night when it finally clicked. Although you didn’t know exactly how ranking in the Guild worked, you knew Mando was up there. He had the status to strike fear into almost every other bounty hunter he outranked. Mando had staked his claim long ago, and no one in the Guild was stupid enough to try and take a bounty from him. If he wanted something, he was going to get it.

You’d remember that interaction vividly. Not only because of how close you were to the Mandalorian as you overheard it, but also in service as a reminder to you, proving just how dominant he was in this world. He held power over every member of the Guild, including its leader, whether he wanted to admit it or not. You felt idiotic for not instantly understanding the control he wielded wherever he went. Sometimes it's a wonder how completely oblivious you could be.

Although you certainly were not oblivious to the drastic upgrade he got just before leaving. If you thought Mando was intimidating before, his new head to toe silver armour was sure to strike fear into any of his prey. You remember thinking you saw his reflection pass by earlier in the day, but he quickly dissolved into the shadows, as he often found a way of doing. However, later that night when you had just gotten off from work, he strolled back into the cantina for a new batch of bounties and all eyes were drawn to him. Most eyes were filled with jealousy since – as his employer made clear – he completed the job none of them could. They were probably even more enraged by the fact that he wore his reward back into the room, when most of them would have gladly taken that metal to the highest bidder and sold it for a hefty profit. However, you saw him differently than the rest. Your eyes were fixed on him in fear and in wonder. This metal man, already a force of nature, just became that much more impossible to defeat. As if anything could get to him before, it was clear now that no one could reach the Mandalorian.

But again – it doesn't matter. Not a single soul on Canto Bight would bet his shiny ass walks back into this sector. Not unless he has some kinda death wish…

Turns out he has some kinda death wish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1 is up now!

More notes: Hello there! I hope you enjoyed this lovely mess. I'm not the most proud of it, but I do want to continue this story (which I know we've all read 100 iterations of by now). Either way, I'm having fun writing it, so I might as well post it!

I'd love a like or comment if you'd be willing to share, I'm very new to writing so I'd enjoy any constructive criticism (especially on the first few parts, I know they need work, but at this point I just want to stop thinking about it and continue on with the story). Also this will be ongoing, so if you wanna keep reading feel free to drop your @ in my inbox or in the comments and I can tag you when I update!

So long for now my fellow helmet whores!

[yamaoni]

The Second Great War of Remnant has begun. Once more, Vale and Mantle are embroiled in a massive conflict, only this time, they are on the same side against Atlas.

I don't think it was a coincidence that so many people drew parallels with the last episode and WWI. We've never seen people fight that way in RWBY. Grimm don't use projectile weapons the way humans do, so the benefits of the trench are diminished; especially if you compare it to the drawbacks.

Now, I understand not everyone in the Atlas military has their aura unlocked and the squishy soldiers need some cover, but if The Long Memory didn't nuke every grimm on Atlas, the lines would have been overrun and then there would have been nowhere for them to retreat to.

You think the very real hand to hand struggles in the trenches of WWI were bad, imagine being trapped in a narrow trench with a bear. Or having this thing explode out of the ground under you.

I refuse to believe no-one in Atlas ever thought, "if we put the dirt from the trench in a box, no only can we give our soldiers cover, we can also give them an elevated position to fire from."

The top of a wall has been the primary defensive position for the people of Remnant for a long time. You can see them in the establishing shots of most settled places the team has visited. So why are we seeing a trench now?

Simple.

Show, don't tell.

RWBY has done a pretty great job, especially in the last few seasons, of showing the audience what it is trying to convey without explicitly telling them. They especially like drawing from well known folk lore to give insight into the future of the show.

Only difference here, instead of drawing the parallel between characters, they're drawing parallels between worlds.

Remnant's first Great War started with Mantle suppressing freedom of expression, the destruction of Art and Color. Ironwood always has little in the way of color, but in his first broadcast since everything started hitting the fan, he has none.

That broadcast also included evacuation ships being blown up by fighter-bombers, Dunkirk. It threatend to level a city if they didn't surrender, Battle of Brittan. All delivered by a dictator trying to scare his opponents into submission through careful use of film.

Theories

If the rest of the season is WWII, I have several theories on plot direction. Considering how well they did keeping up with both ends of the battlefield it wouldn't surprise me if they followed all of them at the same time.

Operation Dunkirk

Or, the evacuation of Mantle.

Players: Penny, Nora, Ren, Happy Huntresses

The Happy Huntresses involvement is a given. Not only has saving Mantle been their goal the whole time, they're also stuck in the middle of it right now.

Penny is the Protector of Mantle. It would be a shining moment for her character to fully throw off the virus Watts implanted and overcome Ironwood's threats to do so. Just crossing my fingers that it doesn't end like the Iron Giant.

Nora is currently Penny's tether to sanity, so she has to go with, and I doubt they would separate Ren from her for the next arc so he's going too.

Surprise twist for this plot I'm betting will be the Starwars "they aren't warships, just people" scene everyone loves to rag on. After all, the broadcast went out that they needed help and, at least at Dunkirk, it was fishing boats and pleasure crafts that retrieved the 338,000 surrounded on all sides.

Why We Fight

Or, countering Ironwoods propaganda.

Players: Robyn and Qrow

For one, these two are unaccounted for and in the heart of Atlas' military machine. If anyone has means to do so, it's them.

The film, Why We Fight, also countered the dramatic cinematography of Goebbels propaganda by painting it as ridiculous and making a folksy call to action much like Robyn has done in the past.

Operation Fortitude

Or, the deception of Ironwood.

Players: Emerald, Jaune, Oscar

This is the mission to make Ironwood think the team is going after the relic. This theory is why I actually thought of and wrote out this whole thing. Thanks @maxiemumdamage, I had things I was supposed to do tonight.

https://maxiemumdamage.tumblr.com/post/644291955872890880/willing-to-bet-my-own-soul-that-emerald-uses-her

Only difference in my theory and their's, is Jaune is going to be playing the part of Penny.

I say this for two reasons. One, Joan of Arc pretended to be a man. While we've gotten both Jaune pretending to be something he's not and him in a dress, this would pose the first time in the story he could do both. Two, it would put him on a direct collision path with Cinder. It needs to happen at some point to bring his arc to a conclusion, but man I hope we're not about to watch him burn.

With Ozpin active again, Oscar has to go along to direct them to the vault. He's also one of two backing the idea of Emerald joining the team and Jaune wouldn't be willing to work with her without him.

Operation Overlord

Or, busting down the doors of Atlas Acadamy.

Players: Ruby, Blake, Weiss, Yang

Where Operation Fortitude was the faint, Operation Overlord was the real deal. For those that aren't history buffs, this is D-Day.

I think this is the reason we've only seen the main team fighting together once since their split from Beacon. And even then, that fight was at most pairs of fighters and not all four of them supporting one another.

RWBY tricked us into thinking season 4 was the post-timeskip level up we come to expect from anime when really we ended up watching the training flashbacks as they happened instead.

We've seen hints of it with the various team ups and combinations, but are we really ready for how much ass kicking they are about to do?

I'm hoping for a One Piece level of badass entrance that can give me shivers whenever I go to watch it again like the walk to Arlong Park still does to this day.

(Aside: if you try telling me RWBY isn't anime, I'm just going to ignore you. Anime is an art movement. If you don't understand what that means, watch this video. https://youtu.be/uFtfDK39ZhI)

Now last and certainly not least

Operation Valkyrie

Or, the death of Ironwood.

Players: Winter and Marrow

The long awaited defection. Plenty of speculation has already floated around about if and when these two where going to cave to their morals and jump ship. I don't know how many of us were expecting the straw to break the camel's back to be a nuke held over Mantle, but I certainly wasn't.

What worries me, is Operation Valkyrie failed and all its conspirators were executed. As if there weren't enough death flags for Winter before.

Even if it's not Winter that kills him. I don't see Ironwood surviving this season. Even if it means he goes out like another hated dictator. It's not like it would be the first time RT had a fallen hero chose to use his own sword.

Wildcards

Or, Murphy will have his due.

Players: Cinder, Watts, Neo, Tyrian, Mercury, Clover

These players can go any which way. Three we know for sure are going to be active in the coming episodes and I wouldn't be surprised if the other three play a part as well.

Oscar made a hell of a light show for Tyrian and Mercury to see behind them. Not to mention, Salem will still need a ride home when she pulls herself back together.

Clover keeps getting mentioned even though he's hospitalized. If he was truly out of commission for the rest of the season, they would have made us think he's dead before bringing him back like they did with Penny.

Up to now, what we've seen is a three way conflict. But one of the hallmarks of Remnant's First Great War, was making temporary alliances to fight off grimm.

The grimm might be gone, but the wild cards can't complete their own objectives if they are dead. The question is who's goals better align with their own.

Two surprise twists I can see here. One, Mercury stabbing Tyrian on his way to defection. He was raised by an assassin and has not going to get a better chance than that. Two, Clover joining Operation Valkyrie. He might have accepted that sacrifice is a necessary evil to ensure Atlas' survival, but might go Schindler's List on us and find horror in what Ironwood plans to do.

TLDR

I spent way too long writing this out. All the WWI imagery means we're getting a WWII movie with RWBY characters. Major death flags for Penny, Jaune, and Winter.

Also I finally figured out how to do a readmore. Apparently it's just been a long time since I updated.

Note: kept seeing things talking about clovers death and I kind of went ???? Isn't he barely alive in medical? Went back and watched that scene and though I am 90% sure he is dead still kind of weird that they have him in his own room instead of a morgue and the initial framing made my mind instantly think he was propped up on a hospital bed. I mean, I guess we needed to have all the ACEOPs there for their reaction to Ironwood... but it definitely made me think he was alive. That and they have a bandage on his chest wound... when he's supposedly dead. Also have a phantom memory of Harriet saying something about him being in critical but I think that's my memory playing tricks on me.

Having his face exposed instead of covered by the sheet and seeing him in the same frame as Winter being treated also didn't help my gut reaction of "Oh Shit! He's alive? How?!" If I'd followed up more on the "how" might not have made the blunder of writing his return as the final twist in my theory. Oops

[mevekagvain]

Chapter 93 - Fancy chair, love it.

- So my theory is that Raizel just never learnt how to write in Lukedonian either.

- Tbh the janitor is suspicious. Like how hard was he googling M-21?

Chapter 94 - SUYIIIIIIIIIIII

- Ah geez the first of the racistly depicted characters.

Chapter 96 - Suyi getting mad at the kids for complaining about Hansu is so funny like when she first appears you think she's perhaps a stuck up celebrity or a pushover but it turns out she's just a really sweet friend.

- Suyi being stunned by Rai's looks but not falling for him (same with Yuna) is one of the things I always liked about Noblesse. Like sure in the first meeting they get blushy but I'll just jot that down to the inherent beauty of nobles since I can't relate to it at all.

Chapter 97 - Frankenstein's house always being stocked with so much food because the kids just started coming over daily is hilarious. Even funnier since Frankenstein obviously thinks it's overkill but is the one stocking up anyway.

Chapter 98 - Regis and Seira 🥺 Seira's og outfit was the best one she had like it only goes downhill from here folks.

Chapter 99 - It would have been so funny if Frankenstein went "they must be cosplayers" instead of realising the two were nobles.

- Regis taking all the initiative shows how it's his roadtrip coming of age journey which is pretty clever. Also Seira's just like that but still.

- Shinwoo stop exercising in class bro. Do not flex on the rest of us this is so rude 😭😭😭

- Regis confidently saying he's a noble in class to humans he doesn't plan on mind controlling... Baby boy why are you so dumb? How is this hiding your identity??? And Seira just lets him,,, good for her.

Chapter 100 - Ah yes their elegance boner at seeing Raizel... nobles are so fucking weird.

- M-21 thinking he won't get any information because of his time at the Union and thus being surprised at how open Frankenstein is is actually really sweet. Like yeah I still think Frankenstein is an unethical and questionable person but he is kind to most humans (werewolves and nobles can go fuck themselves I guess lmao).

Chapter 101 - The second hand embarrassment I felt when M-21 called the two noblesse... how do I even consume content?

- Yeah 100% most union members don't know the difference between nobles and vampires. I bet they'd classify jiangshi as either mutants or werewolves. Or to be more specific, that would be the classification given to low leveled members. On one hand I think it's dumb that the Union gives members twisted information because how would they even use it? But on the other hand it makes sense since it prevents said members from seeking nobles for help. After all, if they believe even the 'noblesse' are vampires that drink blood, than obviously they won't see them as possible escape routes.

- 'Noblesse only applies to one person'. Yeah because Rai's brother is fucking dead. And so is whoever was his predecessor/parent.

Chapter 102 - Those bullies got backup so fucking fast like Shinwoo literally just asked Regis and Seira if they were okay then boom! They're back.

Chapter 103- Regis going ??? essentially when Shinwoo tells him to take care of Seira is so funny like yes ofc he's confused she's literally a clan leader + noble females aren't physically weaker + noble women work out just like the men.

- Rude, Regis. You can't just ask someone why they're mingling among humans. You're doing that too. Who doesn't mingle among humans smh. Even cats and pigeons mingle with us.

Chapter 105 - Love how everyone else in the household is so sick of ramyeon like Raizel stop please you're being selfish.

Chapter 106 - Frankenstein is the definition of the 'right in front of my salad?' meme at Regis and M-21 arguing at the dinner table. Then there's Seira and Raizel just waiting for the noodles to get soggy so he can't even eat. Wish Urokai could see him getting tortured like this.

- The soldier rejecting backup because he knows the enemy is the Union hurts my heart. Wanting to prevent casualties... iwi

Chapter 107 - Shark how tf do you not know about South Korea? That's one of the asian countries people actually know about. I guess maybe it's because this is from around a decade back? K-pop is more recent and made the country more visible I guess.

- Ah yes Takeo. Forever known as "the first time I read Noblesse and he appeared I thought he was Marie's sister since they had the same hairstyle". Like I thought that before even learning about the Aris Taivra fiasco. My power 😔

- Oh don't worry M-21, Frankenstein stopped experimenting on people 830 years ago. You know, as one does.

Chapter 108 - Shark has like no general knowledge. Geography? History? Tf is that I guess.

- Tao saying they're the worst possible people for the job is so funny like yeah he's right. "All we do is massacre people in warzones why are we in Seoul?"

- The rest of the squad complain or are confused about the peace meanwhile Takeo is vibing. He's the normal guy TM of the group.

- Ah yes noble lore. If you take canon at face value than the fact that nobles were around when humans first emerged and there being about 2-3 clan leaders before the current generation means you can estimate their lifespan. Ofc it differs wildly depending on how you interpret the 'first humans' part. I'll assume there were 3 generations before the current generation (mvp lord being the third generation) and won't be adding the current generation since a 0.5-2k years is kinda meaningless. I'll also be assuming that mvp lord entered eternal sleep at around the same age as his predecessors and that he would have died soon from old age anyway (since canonically they do have limited lifespans). If we assume it's just the first human ancestors (7 million years ago) than the average pureblood lifespan is 2.33 million years. If we assume it's when homo sapiens started to emerge (300k years ago) than it's 100k years. If it's about modern humans (130k years ago) than it's 43.3k years. Regardless I'll ignore it since my hcs are that nobles are effectively immortal unless killed and that the 2-3 clan leaders is a misconception due to a mix of Gechutel just straight up lying, because there are clans that have had fewer clan leaders, because I have nobles settling on Lukedonia only 30k years ago, and because Gechutel is factoring in his own age of 10.2k so it's more like 'There have been 2-3 Ru clan leaders before the Ru clan leader 10k years ago since after we settled in Lukedonia'. There's also the possibility that nobles didn't have lords or clan leaders until a few thousand years ago in canon but the species has existed for much longer.

- 'Nobles are individualistic... They don't despise humans but don't love them either.' Humans w/ ants. Now if the ants were capable of speaking with us it'd be exactly the same situation.

Chapter 109 - "What were they researching here?" Since when does the Union research anything aside from human modifications Kranz? Why do you even need to ask? More seriously this means that the Union doesn't actually only do human experimentation and weapons lmao. The other shit just isn't relevant I guess. It's a shame, I'd have loved to see how a lab focused on like, fixing up polluted waters, would be fit into the story.

- The fact that Tao beat Jake up is never mentioned enough. Also confirms that Jake was lying out of his ass about being the strongest.

- Marie being the weakest assassination squad member is interesting like I know why Crombel doesn't need bodyguards as the reader but you'd think the Union would be suspicious of him not having a stronger bodyguard. Also I still can't believe the Union doesn't bother learning who the members are aside from the ones Crombel tells them about like. Bro???

- Shark calling Takeo uptight is hilarious because the guy literally just shot the falling ceiling light which is the opposite of uptight. Either he was preventing them from getting hurt/being caught or he wanted that to happen considering the fact that he shot it and it shattered. And then he just goes back to leaning against the wall. Takeo please 🤣

Chapter 110 - And Shinwoo's still staying over at Ikhans place. Wonder when he's gonna move back. I really love their dynamic like yeah I beg my sister to get me food all the time too. Also love the apron and skeleton hoodie.

- Shinwoo went through the five stages of grief pretty quick huh? Like yeah it's his own misunderstanding that Ikhan is dating someone but still. Homophobia is annoying as always though.

Chapter 111 - Suyi paying for their food is so sweet of her and also I relate so much like yeah mood that's me and no I don't want to be paid back.

- Takeo,,, the fact that he just hands his wallet over because he doesn't like violence and doesn't want to beat them up,,, my heart. Otoh... how did he even get cornered in an dark shady alleyway lmao.

- Aris managing to make herself look like a teenager as Taivra is interesting since Takeo says he wants her to be able to go to school like Yuna and Shinwoo when he's treating them. I guess she looks younger without makeup.

- Takeo just straight up pointing his gun at Shark in public because he mentioned Taivra... anger issues much? I understand why but taking your gun out is an overreaction.

[theoriginalladya]

(also. if you ever felt inclined to write a group hug. i'd be first in line to flail all over it)

from this prompt list

On AO3 here

Ask, my dear (and you always ask so nicely!!!) and you shall receive!!!!!  Enjoy!  

(also, you may have seriously helped me sort out a big part of their story with this prompt!!! THANK YOU!!!)   (under cut because it got long)

TW:  description of battle, blood mention

Translations at the end.

~~~~~

“Shit!”

The exclamation is the only warning Shepard receives before Vega ducks down behind cover next to him, his large bulk hunching in on itself as much as it can so it provides a minimal target.  That the ‘minimal target’ is now positioned right next to Shepard and puts him in danger as well, is completely beside the point.  It’s why they pay us the big bucks, right?  Out of instinct, he reaches over and pushes Vega’s head down just a little bit lower.  

The lieutenant takes it all in stride as the firefight continues around them.  “Hehehe, thanks jefe.”

“Not a problem, Vega. I watch out for my team.”  Their eyes meet; Shepard sees the glitter of determination of his reflected in the younger man’s.  “All of them.”  No one left behind, is more than just the four words themselves.

An explosion nearby shakes the walls and results in both men ducking lower for a good thirty seconds.  Slowly, Shepard lifts his head, peering over the top edge of cover, so he can he survey the battlefield.  A flash of bluish white energy from at least a hundred feet away starts in his direction; he retreats quickly while shouting, “Kaidan!”  The ball of energy flies over his head, barely missing the top; a deep grunt of indignation escapes his throat as he lands hard on his ass. Beside him, Vega shifts awkwardly in the cramped space.

“Kind of busy at the moment, commander!”

“Light me up, dammit!” Shepard shouts back.  Several moments pass without a response.  “I’m not being unreasonable here, Alenko!”

Vega moves to a crouching position and lays a wave of suppressive fire across the space.  Shepard pushes to his feet, keeping below the top edge as much as possible, this time peering around the side of cover.  Kaidan is off to the left, currently in the middle of what would look like hand-to-hand fighting to the uninitiated, but in reality, is just a bit more complicated, utilizing hand-to-hand techniques but with powerful biotics moves.  Flashes and flares of mass energy shoot out from them as their biotics connect, and from this position, it’s impossible to see who has the advantage.  It’s like nothing he’s ever seen before; then again, since arriving at this facility, that’s pretty much been the Cerberus approach.

With one last, heaving effort, Kaidan pulls his arm back as if to punch the person, but with a loud, growling roar a wave of energy flies from his hand as he thrusts it forward. The resultant explosion throws his opponent about twenty feet away where they hit a wall, crumple, and fall into an unmoving heap on the floor. 

There are still targets on the field that need removal, but many of them are worn down and this is his job.  Under normal circumstances, Kandra assists him in the process, lighting up each target for him so when he charges into them, they go down instantly or within seconds of his arrival.  It’s not a perfect tactic by any means, but effective in reducing numbers quickly, and it’s certainly an unexpected tactic, most of the time, anyway.

But Kandra has been missing for almost a week now along with three of Kaidan’s biotic spec ops people.  It’s taken that long to trace them here; as near as he can figure, being held hostage somewhere within this facility.  But that does him little good now, so he has to rely on Kaidan to light up his targets; sadly, a less efficient system when his skills and Alliance training are far better utilized in other ways.

That doesn’t mean Kaidan isn’t helping.  Not at all. The major turns, dark eyes connecting with Shepard’s briefly, and Shepard can see the toll it’s taking. Anger in Kaidan is … unusual to see first-hand, and intimidating as all hell if you’re on the receiving end of it, but it’s easy to understand the source.  Shepard nods at Kaidan while shifting his balance so he can move the instant the first target lights up.  

Barely is the wave of energy released from Kaidan’s fingers when Shepard starts forward.  His hand starts tracing the mnemonic even before he moves, and by the time he hits his third step, the world around him speeds up into a blur of motion as he shoots forward at full throttle.  The instant he connects, he’s looking for the next target to repeat the process.  And again.  And again.

At the end of the hall, no fewer than six more Cerberus troops lie on the ground, incapacitated. Kaidan hurries over to join Shepard while Vega brings up the rear, pausing by each target taken down just to make sure.  Any hint of a breath and he shoots, just once in the head.  It’s enough; these troops won’t ever see the light of day again, nor will they stop their retreat once the mission objective is obtained.

“Which way?” Kaidan asks as they rejoin at the T-intersection.

Shepard nods to their right.  “Floor plans say the heart of the facility is this way.  That’s my guess.”

Vega snorts softly. “Well, what are we waiting for, Loco? Let’s get moving.”

~~~~~

Hall by hall, they clear their way deeper into the facility.  The other teams, including the one with Emilio and Konstantin, are moving in from other directions; all teams have the same goal: reach the heart of the facility, find Kandra and the other spec ops personnel.  As they move, however, it’s becoming increasingly clear this place needs to be destroyed at all costs.  They might be able to do that on the way out, but the primary objective doesn’t change.  

The arrive at a door set back off the hallway in a recessed alcove and secured from the opposite side.  Kaidan drops to his knee and pulls up his hacking program.  James and Shepard stand off to each side, prepared to give fire support if necessary.  The minutes tick by, the air grows thick with tension.  Finally, Kaidan rises and steps back, in the process raising his biotic barrier field as he nods at Shepard but says nothing.  Shepard uses hand signals to communicate now, and they open the door and slip through.

The doorway leads into a short hallway that quickly opens into a much larger area … that is filled with signs of battle, but not directed at them.  No one in here, it seems, is even aware of their arrival.

“What the hell?”

Vega’s whispered exclamation registers fully with Shepard.  “Agreed, lieutenant.”  He glances over his shoulder at Kaidan whose gaze is focused solely ahead of them … and intently.  Shepard frowns.  “What is it?”

Kaidan’s shoulders tense and his biotic corona flares around his entire body; this isn’t his barrier field, this is something different, something raw, a reaction to what, Shepard doesn’t know, but he recognizes the difference and follows his lead. As he does, he closes his eyes and focuses…

“А щоб твоя дружинонька з кумом повелася!”**

He doesn’t understand the words, but he’s heard the language and that tone enough at this late date to know it can mean only one thing, and that’s not good.  He steps to the side and pushes Kaidan ahead of him and Vega.  “You take lead.  Now!”

As they near the opening, it’s easier to get a grasp on the scene before them.  The room is some sort of … medical amphitheater, set lower in the center of the room with what looks to be an operating table in the middle surrounded by surgical paraphernalia.  Three bodies in scrubs lie on the floor, unmoving.  Three more currently hurl mass effect fields at one another across the room from various points, changing position in between. One of those figures stands just to their left.  Dressed in some sort of hospital gown, her corona flaring so high Michael wonders that she doesn’t overclock her amp in the process despite being L2.  

Kandra Alenko, both hands raised, one aimed at either of the two remaining targets, lashes out angrily at her opponents using two separate waves of energy while bellowing a roar that would put any lion to shame.  “А бодай тебе чорти вхопили!”**

The three men rush into the space immediately.  Kaidan makes a bee-line for his twin, while James drops to a knee and without hesitation, takes aim at the person to their far right, unloading his weapon on them.  Shepard, spying the last target directly across the room and conveniently ‘lit up,’ charges over, a feral grin curling at his lips.

It doesn’t take much effort to bring these last two opponents down between Shepard’s biotics and Vega’s bullets.  When all is said and done, both reconvene with Kaidan who kneels on the floor with a collapsed Kandra in his arms.  “She’s overdone it,” he says in a voice that’s tight with concern as he looks up at Shepard.

“’m fine,” Kandra mutters, curling in toward her brother and tucks her head onto his shoulder.

But not before Shepard notices the blood trickling down from her nose and her ear.  Jabbing an arm in the direction of the lower level, he orders, “Vega, get something we can stop the bleeding with!”  He turns back to Kandra and reaches out to push some of her dark hair back from the left side of her face.  That’s when he notices more blood matted near her implant scar. Carefully, he points it out to Kaidan who pulls off his gauntlet and gently prods at the area.  “Kan?”

She winces, biting back a cry of pain unsuccessfully, and curls tighter to him.  “Don’t … please!”

He pulls his hand back.  “What happened?”

She mutters something unintelligible and slides her arm around his shoulder as he stands up, bringing her with him.  “Lean against me if you feel dizzy,” he says softly, holding her in place at his side as he sets her feet on the floor.  

She wobbles a moment and doesn’t bother to nod, simply rests her head against his shoulder. Vega runs over with a sheet from the operating table below and hands it to Shepard who takes it and rips off a portion of it, handing that over to Kaidan.  Kandra, however, reaches out and snatches it from her twin’s fist, lifting it to her face.  Several minutes pass in silence, during which James starts to pace and prowl around the room, eventually retracing their steps to the doorway, presumably to keep an eye on things outside of the room.  As quiet as it is inside here now, it’s easy to forget they’re in enemy territory and the battle still rages elsewhere.

Assured Kaidan has the situation with his sister under control, Shepard follows after the lieutenant. His agitated state is obvious. Walking up next to him, Shepard asks, “You okay?”

The lieutenant mutters something in Spanish Shepard doesn’t understand, but if his tone of voice means anything at all, it isn’t complimentary in the least.  “Yeah, jefe, I’m good.”  Vega looks back at the twins, watches for a moment, then shakes his head and mutters again.  “What the hell, man?  This shit’s so fucked up!”

Shepard nods his agreement with the assessment.  “Not sure yet, but I’ve got an idea.  Hopefully, Kandra will be able to tell us something.”  A burst of static burns over his comms, but nothing intelligible comes across so he doesn’t try to return it.  He looks over at Vega.  “She’s not going to be in a good place coming out of this, you know.”

Vega’s eyes meet his and for the first time, Shepard sees something hard, glittering there. It’s startling; it’s also clear it isn’t just because she’s a part of their group, it’s more than that.  James’ eyes trail back one more time in the direction of the siblings.  “Yeah, I know.”

The soft shuffle of padding footsteps nearing them has him turning toward the twins.  Kandra still looks a bit dazed, but if the grim determination and fiery spark in her eyes means anything, and Shepard knows from experience it does, it won’t be there much longer.  “We need to get you better clothing than that,” he says, nodding at the hospital style gown she wears with the rest of the sheet Vega had retrieved tied around her.  

“It’s not far,” she informs him.  “Through those doors and to the right.”  

Shepard nods once, watches as she visibly shakes her head as if clearing it, before releasing her hold on her brother.  It brings her to her full height, just at Kaidan’s shoulder.  All three men straighten as if standing at attention, each recognizing in their own way just how strong and resolute she is.  This isn’t the same woman who walked out of Vancouver with them just months ago.  Shepard meets her gaze head on and she seems startled for a moment when he opens his arms to her, inviting her in closer.  A half-second passes when a small smile finally appears at her lips.  As he wraps his arms around her, she murmurs, “Thank you.”

“For what?”  

“For coming to get … me.”  

None of them say anything about the crack in her voice.  Shepard’s arms tighten around her and Kaidan moves in and wraps his around the both of them.  “No one gets left behind,” Shepard insists quietly in her hair, repeating what he’d told Vega just a short while ago.  “You’re as much a part of this squad as we are.  Understand that?”

Kandra’s head rises and she looks at him, then her twin, and then over at James who stands awkwardly to the side.  Her eyes soften just a bit and she reaches a hand out, grasping him by his belt and tugging him into the group hug.  “Yeah,” she tells them as she slides her arm around his waist and he wraps his around her shoulders, “I get it.”

~~~~~ 

**А щоб твоя дружинонька з кумом повелася  - Wish your wife had an affair with your kids’ God father.

**А бодай тебе чорти вхопили  - May devils grab you.

[harrycook]

27

June 12th 2018 was my 27th birthday.

Here are 27 things I feel like I have learnt about life so far:

1. Don’t Argue With Stupid People.

You get nowhere. It’s like playing scrabble with a dog, no matter how well you play, the dog will end up shitting on the board and walking away like he won anyway.

2. Eat The Damn Cake.

Yes I know that eating right and exercise is important for your health, but if you are in the vicinity of a cake or delicious bite of something, just eat it.

3. Working Is A Part Of Life, Not The Entirety Of Life.

Unless you adore what you do for a living and it is your pasison and life’s mission, take a deep breath and don’t take it all so seriously. At the end of the day, a job is to pay the bills and have pocket money to go and enjoy yourself when you’re not working. Unless you are genuinely passionate about your career, don’t sweat it. Don’t break your back worrying about a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead.

4. Don’t Take Anything Seriously, Seriously.

Unless you are performing open heart surgery or have the cure for cancer in your back pocket, lighten the fuck up. No matter what your job is, ask yourself if it will matter in 100 years? If not, giggle and let it go. The world won’t stop spinning if you miss a deadline or make a mistake. Breathe. It’s all good.

5. Ignorance Is A Choice.

Yes. It’s 2018. There is no excuse for ignorance or stupidity when we have more information on our phones than a public library. If you don’t understand something, research it. Pick up a book, scan the internet, question everything, especially the news. Be curious, ask questions and most of all, don’t be lazy. Educate yourself so the world can be full of kinder, more worldly individuals who know what they are talking about.

6. Throw Away Anything You Thought You Knew That Doesn’t Sit Well With Your Values.

We grow up in a society that feeds us garbage from the moment we enter the world. Boys are taught to be one way and girls are taught to be another. It’s a system that hasn’t changed in hundreds of years because society wants us to constantly keep within the mold. Screw that. Break the mold and let people be who they want to be. Go after a job you want, not what society wants for you. Travel, see the world, stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and go after the stuff that means something to you.

7. Laugh At Every Chance You Get.

Nothing beats a good belly laugh. Plus, it’s also extremely healthy. Laugh as often as you can. This goes straight back to the not taking anything seriously thing. Giggle more. It works wonders for the soul.

8. Get A Hobby.

The past year I have picked up the piano again (not literally 'picked it up', obviously, but started learning again), attempted to learn Spanish, set a goal of reading a book a fortnight (up to book 25) and started working out a minimum of three times a week. Each year older I start realising how quickly time goes and how many amazing things are at my disposal to learn or try.

9. Read The News, Then Read It Again, And Then Research Some More.

Don't take anything at face value. Just because the news tells you one thing, don't take it as gospel. These news shows are run by multibillionaire white men and corporations with agendas. Don't take it at face value. Look in to things. Read as much as you can and become your own private investigator for the truth. Just because a news show says something, doesn't make it fact.

10. Read More.

Nothing opens up the heart and mind more than a good book. The excuse of not having enough time to read doesn't cut it. Instead of watching an hour of Netflix, take an hour to open a good book. It's good for the soul. Trust me.

11. Get A Pet.

YASSSSSSS. Get a dog. Then get another dog. Then when you think you simply can't handle the amount of snuggles you are getting, get another dog!! In all seriousness, dogs are extremely good for your health. They reduce stress and anxiety, boost happiness and are wonderful snuggle buddies. Adopt don't shop! There are plenty of rescue animals in need of good homes.

12. Sometimes People Hurt You. It Sucks.

Yes. Sometimes the people you never in a bazillion years thought could hurt you, will hurt you terribly. I had an experience in recent years with extended family that completely shifted my entire outlook on people in general. Sadly, some of the people you think you know are far from what you think. It sucks, yes, but once you acknowledge it, it slowly stops hurting. You can move on with your life when you realise that sometimes a wake-up call is all you need to realise that you're better off without certain people in your life. And that's totally ok.

13. Log Off. Often.

The age of social media is WONDERFUL for so many reasons. Keeping in contact with people, viewing beautiful content, learning things with a click and the hours and hours of streamable content are all fantastic reasons to use social media. But on the flip side, it can also be an information overload and I highly advise switching off, taking a bath and leaving your phone somewhere away from you for a few hours. It can't be healthy getting a constant stream of negative news 24/7. So unplug. Those cute puppy pics will be there when you get back.

14. Exercise.

I know, I know, YUCK. Exercise isn't the most fun of activities, and I am the first to admit that whenever I heard someone say "but the endorphins are good for your happiness levels" I'd roll my eyes so far back in my head I could see my brain. But it's completely and utterly true. Just a 40 minute run 3 times a week has improved my mood ten fold. I've suffered with depression, anxiety and addiction for years, but exercise allows me to completely refresh and enjoy the day on a belly full of endorphins. Do it for the feeling you get, not to achieve some unattainable body. It works a treat. Trust me.

15. Napping Is AMAZING.

Yes. Napping is one of the best damn things to do. Nothing beats an afternoon nap. It refreshes you for the rest of the day and is a great way to reboot the system. Don't let people tell you otherwise. It's bloody fantastic.

16. Journal.

I've written a journal since I was ten years old and looking back on all the adventures, worries, achievements and memories throughout the years is something I cherish so incredibly much. Studies have shown that journalling is really healthy for the mind and soul. Grab a notebook and get doodling.

17. Take Photos.

If taking selfies is your thang, go for it. If taking pictures of trees, animals or the sunset gets you going, snap away. Taking photos is therapeutic for a number of reasons, but most of all it's a lovely way to document your life with things to look back on. Get snapping.

18. Never Think You Know It All.

It's easy to be arrogant when we are conditioned all our lives with things we are expected to believe. "Boys should do this", "girls should do that". But just because we've been taught it from a society that has never been challenged to think differently, doesn't make it right. Question everything. Stay curious. Look into things and don't dismiss stuff you know nothing about. Not only is it a really ugly personality trait, it gets you nowhere in life. Opening your mind and heart is a surefire way of experiencing life in all its' beauty.

19. Go After What You Want In Life.

Jim Carey did a graduation speech about his father who never went after his dreams because he wanted to do the ‘safe thing'. Have a 'stable' career that would provide for his family. From memory, his father failed and lost everything in his 'stable' career. The moral being that if you are going to fail at something, at least let it be something you love, because the fact is it is just as possible to fail at something you hate. Give it a go. Life is too short to not go after what you want.

20. Travel. Travel. Travel.

See the world. It'll show you that we humans are all the same. It replaces ignorance with knowledge and shows you how vast our planet is. Get out there.

21. Someone Who Is Nice To You But Not Nice To The Waiter Is Not A Nice Person.

I love this quote because it's so damn true. Don't be a dick to service people. Don't think you're better than anyone because you're not. End of story. Period.

22. Get Over Yourself.

Sort of a continuation of the above, this is just a reminder to get over yourself, have a giggle and realise that just because you have a fancy car, a nice suit or well manicured hands means absolutely sweet F.A. Being a good person, showing kindness, empathy and caring about the planet and human beings as a whole is what counts in my books. Just be a good person. It's that simple.

23. Tell Your Loved Ones You Love Them And Don’t Go To Bed Angry.

Pretty self explanatory this one, but all the same, something to remember constantly. Life is far too short to go to bed angry at someone. Throw away silly arguments and tell the people you care about how you feel.

24. Screw What People Think Of You.

I mean it. Who cares what someone else thinks of you? That's their stuff. How they perceive you and how they feel about you is none of your business. Water off a ducks' back. Let it go.

25. Try Not To Worry So Much.

I know. Easier said than done, but sometimes it helps to take a step back, take a deep breath in and ask a few key questions: Can I do anything to change the current situation? If yes, do it. If not, let it go. Breathe through it and remember all we ever have is right in this moment.

26. Meditate.

YASSSSSSSSS times a million. Meditating is one of the most powerful things I have ever learnt in my 27 years on this planet. Taking a moment to just sit and reflect and focus on the here and now is one of the most intensely wonderful ways of reconnecting to what matters. There are a million different apps you can use or simply sit and count your breaths. It works wonders.

27. Life is what you make it, but most of all it’s about love.

Love, family, friends and making memories is the most important thing in life. Every year on this earth I realise more and more how utterly stupid it is to worry about material things. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy material stuff whatsoever, but it shouldn't be what you go after in life. Nobody ever gets to the end of their life clutching on to their Chanel bag. The things that matter are the people you love and the memories you make.

So go for a walk, take in the view, have a laugh and breathe in every moment of every day. It's all we ever have.

- Harry.

[sanerontheinside]

Hi! You mentioned in one of your posts that you're taking a class that makes you think about the relationships between American school and American government, and that sounds a lot like a class that I would be interested in. What class is it? I'd like to see if I can find something similar. I'm trying to train myself to think critically about debate and politics and culture and... all the things that help people understand complex issues. Do you have any other suggestions of places I could go?

Hmmmmm…. This is… going to be a bit difficult. 

Ok, for one thing, it’s a grad course at my local university, and the program I’m in is Masters of Arts in Teaching. It’s not really one out of a standard class set. 

For another: while the class has spent some time focused on how government, democracy, and policy affect schools, the actual goal of the class is to examine how media representation presents schools, and how that affects people’s attitude towards schooling and teaching. 

However, I can probably recommend some reading. 

Here’s an online course I am kind of curious about. It sounds more relevant to what you’re looking for than my class, I’d say. You will be able to audit the course (the certificate for a verified course usually costs some money, but the audit is free). 

Check out other courses on edX, too: it’s a good site for online learning, basically a pool of free online courses made public by various universities. (Harvard also offers a course on American Government, which I’m enrolled in for shits and giggles, but haven’t done more than take a cursory look at thus far.)

Here’s a link to a google drive folder that contains some articles from my class, if you’re curious. I would say some of them are pretty good reading, but I’ve listed a basic summary of each one I uploaded below the cut. I haven’t gotten to all of them yet, though, so I can’t actually be 100% accurate about what’s in each. 

Now, of course, since it’s academic writing, quite a bit of it is pretty dry and dense, which especially applies to the first three listed here: 

The Hochschild files (read): discuss how, in theory, education and democracy/social structure should interact and better each other. 

(A required text for my class, one which unfortunately you have to pay for: Is Everyone Really Equal? by Sensoy and DiAngelo) 

(if you’re curious, that link is for Teacher College Press, they have an ebook for a grand total of $27.96. They’re also the only ones I’ve seen offering an ebook. You will need another app, though, to actually read the file: ADE) 

Anyon is a study of 5 elementary schools which shows how education is stratified by social class. 

Brookings “Big Government” explains (loosely) how the government funds programs. 

Democracy and Freedom (FH-FITW) index (read): these are pretty clear, though—it’s the study that compares democracy and freedom between countries. You might’ve seen a post running around tumblr that says, for a country with such a loudly touted democracy, the US sure scored a bit low—this is that source. 

American Citizenship “Counting on Character” is an article on a charter schools

Larabee (read): is about the differences between public and private education. This one plays into our actual course goal a bit, because the entire business of school reform is criticised right there on the very first page, as it’s a very media/propaganda-directed process. 

Measuring Democracy (read): is godsawful dry. This was mainly assigned to give us an idea of how many types of democracy there are actually. As such, our assigned reading was pg.253-end, so, don’t fall asleep. 

A couple of nytimes articles are listed: First Amendment Support and Preparing Students for a Complex World (read), highlighting some interesting generational differences between current teachers/adults/millennials and Gen Z kids. Surface stuff, tho, like our preferences for social media, concern for privacy, and interpretation of the First Amendment—less about why these differences exist. 

Parker Against Idiocy (read): before you go getting any ideas about what idiocy is, in the context of this paper—

Idiocy shares with idiom and idiosyncratic the root idios, which means private, separate, self-centered — selfish. “Idiotic” was in the Greek context a term of reproach. When a person’s behavior became idiotic — concerned myopically with private things and unmindful of common things — then the person was believed to be like a rudderless ship, without consequence save for the danger it posed to others. This meaning of idiocy achieves its force when contrasted with politēs (citizen) or public. Here we have a powerful opposition: the private individual versus the public citizen.…An idiot is one whose self-centeredness undermines his or her citizen identity, causing it to wither or never to take root in the first place.

Putting Democracy Back into Public Education (read): bit of an economic perspective, and a focus on why democracy should be a focus in schools. 

Westheimer and Kahne: more on what makes a good citizen 

Young Citizens and Civic Learning: another research paper, on how to teach civics in the digital age. 

To be honest, I don’t know precisely how much these readings line up with your interests? They’re mainly theoretical, and mostly geared towards pedagogy. Some make for pretty good reads, tho. 

I’ll probably add some more as we go through the class, and as I do my own research, but I’m leaning more towards curriculum structure/design at the moment. Plus, there’s the finicky part where my content area is mathematics… and that’s not… precisely… very policy related. 

… CORRECTION: Math content is heavily politicised and people keep trying to regulate math education and curriculum structure and keep trying to reinvent the wheel, here. But in the more general sense, while it’s an example of policy impacting schools and teaching, it’s less about government control of a school as a whole. 

Basically what I was trying to say there was it’s less relevant to my class, but it would serve as a good, and very in-depth case study, if you were looking for a very specific example. 

The things to keep in mind: what you’re looking at is a highly intersectional topic. So many things have an impact on the way we teach: media reporting on teaching and current events, economic goals and its current state, policy, etc. 

Fun fact: you know how we rank countries by the number of students who pass standardised exams out of high school, yeah? Well. A side-by-side comparison of the exams and the topics tested actually shows that the questions European countries consider ‘qualifying’ are easier: they test lower-level topics than the US exams. 

What does that tell you? 

It’s a stupid, non-standardised study, your groups are non-comparable, your variables have no damn relationship to each other. 

But someone reports that the US is lagging behind in Math and STEM becomes a huge deal and Music and Art programs are poorly funded and businesses like Pearson benefit because they have a monopoly on tests, and we push kids into STEM fields because that’s feeding the current job market to bloating while telling them they can’t get a job with a liberal arts degree. 

Furthermore, education is an immensely powerful tool. It has been used (still is!) to destroy upward mobility for the working class, for people of colour, for people in poor rural areas. You can harm so many people by simply not mentioning something (erasure), and hey, it’s not like teachers get much time anyway because they’re supposed to be preparing their students for qualifying exams that permit the kids to advance to the next year. 

And let’s not forget that at some point it was a popular notion that these exam results would be used to control teachers’ pay. The exams weren’t even designed to be used for that. 

So, everything you’ve ever learned about setting up scientific studies and doing statistical analysis? Yyyyeaaah… well the current White House sure ain’t heard of it, you can bet your last dime, but whoever was doing studies on education before them also sure as shit was not the CDC. 

Just.. every now and then, stop, breathe, throw out everything you know, and then keep going. 

[hellogoodbye741]

okay, so your AI Clint fic is awesome, and I had a completely random idea that sucks but I thought i'd tell you anyway. What if Clint could pick up Thor's hammer? it sucks, i know, i dont even know if Clint can actually pick stuff up, cause he's a hologram. But still

((Sorry for the long wait, and I hope this is what you were asking for!!))

Read it at Now You See Me, Now You See Me Somewhere Else, This is Hilarious I can Scare You At Any Time Period, or under the cut

“Can too”

“Cannot”

“Can too”

“Cannot!

“CAN TOO!”

“CANNOT, CANNOT, CANNOT!!”

“Gentlemen, you are both incredibly pretty. Let’s stop the arguing, hmmm?” Thor said as he got between Clint and Tony. Both men crossed their arms and stepped backward. “What was the argument about anyway?”

“Tony says I would never be able to lift your hammer, I disagree” Clint said petulantly.

“Clint, buddy, you’re hologram, you can’t pick anything up.”

“Can too!”

“Can-”

“Please do not start yelling again,” Thor said with a sigh. “And Tony, you should no better than to put limitations onto Clint. Whoever is worthy of lifting the hammer shall be able to, despite what form they take.” Thor winked at Clint. “Are you worthy?”

Clint snorted. “Nah. That requires more hard-wiring than Tony is capable of. Maybe ask Phil?”

Tony, “But they’re both holograms!!!”

Thor sighed and walked away, knowing better than to argue with Tony when he’s in this state.

*******

“I think you’re worthy enough to lift Thor’s hammer.” Phil said with a smile.

Clint rolled his eyes, “Phil - Steve isn’t even worthy to lift the hammer. Steve! Steve!!!”

Phil rolled his eyes, “So dramatic. You do know that you and Steve aren’t the same person, right? Just because Steve isn’t worthy, doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy.”

Clint shook his head, “No. No, I’m definitely not worthy to lift the hammer. You maybe, but me? No.”

Phil sighed, “I think you’re underestimating yourself Clint.”

“Duly noted.”

*******

“The tower is under attack!” Clint yelled as he ran through the tower.

“Yes, we are all aware of that Clint. Calm down.” Phil said with a sigh.

“I’m allowed to freak out Phillip, who knows what those ruffians are gonna due to our servers?”

“Tony would never let anything happen to us Clint, take a deep breath and let the Avengers do their jobs.”

Clint pouted, “It’s my home too…”

“Clint shut up or I won’t let you watch.”

“Fiiiinnnneeee”

~

“Oh my god, they got through everyone!!”

Phil shoved Clint aside. “Oh dear lord, you weren’t lying. Start locking everything up!!”

Clint clenched his fists. “Like hell I will, if I’m going down - I’m going down like a human.”

“Stupidly?”

“Yes.”

Phil sighed and kissed Clint’s cheek. “Some days I question why I love you. Go, be safe.”

“I make no promises.” Clint said with a wink as he disappeared himself to the lower levels, where this week’s bad guys were currently destroying.

Clint materialized in front of them. “Hello gentlemen, are you lost?”

“Who the hell are you?” One of them spat.

Clint’s eyes began to glow, “Your worst nightmare.”

“Holy shit, what the fuck are you?”

Clint laughed, “You’re about to find out.”

Clint began to make shit fly, the lights flicker on and off, and all the robots under his control were making their way up to them.

“Oh my god, this dude is a wizard!”

Clint internally rolled his eyes, but decided to go with it. “Yes! I am the mighty and all power wizard! Even the Avengers fear me!!” Clint reached out his hand to do some finger wiggles to make it more dramatic, when he heard a whooshing through the air.

“What the hell is that?” One of the bad guys screeched.

Clint looked up at the cameras, wondering if Phil was pulling a stunt as well. The other AI was not. The whoosh got louder the longer Clint’s arm was reached out, and soon Clint realized why. Coming straight at his face was Thor’s hammer. Clint’s eyes widened as the damn thing drifted right into his hand.

“Holy shit, he summoned a weapon!” The head bad guy cried out. “Guys, we need to get out of here.”

Clint gripped mjolnir tighter. “That’s right! Begone, or I shall use the weapon against you!” Clint lifted mjolnir above his head, and the whole building began to shake.Bits and pieces of the ceiling and walls began to fall around them as the bad guys began to scramble out of the building. Only when he knew they were gone did he lower his arm. Looking down at the hammer, Clint titled his head.

“But I’m a hologram… Why did you make me worthy?”

Mjolnir wiggled in his palm, like it was trying to answer him.

“Totally didn’t understand that, but thanks…. Anyway, you probably got me in deep shit with Phil.”

Mjolnir just wiggled again, making Clint sigh.