#i mean i would go out tonight
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Okay can I be a bitter Anders fan for like. Just 2 minutes here lmao
Cause bioware released some game stats for veilguard and apparently 72% of players redeemed Solas which is like. Okay yeah the game kinda pushes you towards that. But when I think of all the shit I used to have to put up with just for enjoying Anders like at all andā¦
(This is not me being anti-Solas, I do not care if you love or hate him, but I am gonna say what heās done is like. Objectively worse than literally every other companion so lmao. And thatās fine! You can still enjoy him! Iām not saying you canāt and itās important to me that people understand that! Iām just saying he did in fact do objectively morally worse things in game than Anders did and I donāt think thatās really debatable. And I canāt really make my point here without saying that but I do want to make it clear this is not some moral condemnation of Solas enjoyers cause itās not)
Getting anon hate on the regular, being told āoh youāre allowed to like Anders as long as you regularly talk about how much he sucksā, people gleefully describing how much fun they have killing him ON your posts about the fact that you like him, the devs making jokes about shitty fates for him when fans asked innocent questions about him, the absolute audacity of his writer to say half the shit she did in interviews (about bisexuality and mental illness, most critically), and then being beaten over the head again in inquisition about how Anders is the worst character to ever exist and thereās no redemption for terrorists who lie to you one time in the entire game and he deserves death or worse and thatās it
And nowā¦ 72% of people are down to redeem the guy who lies to you for 2 games straight and who did a lot of questionable things that includes creating the fucking blight and. Like. I guess Iām glad that Solas fans can live in a world where they arenāt constantly harassed and can give their ship like. A pretty damn good ending all things considered. And that the devs love Solas and actually give the option for that happy ending and have characters go to bat for Solas throughout the game and the most annoying thing they have to see are people making scrambled egg memes. I would not wish anyone to have to deal with the shit Anders fans had to put up with back then cause it sucked. It really sucked. And Iām glad itās not being repeated with a different character, if nothing else
But like. Man there really is a difference when the writers actually like the character who does the thing, huh
#shut up nerd#anders#Iām sorry itās just. really hard to not be bitter tbh#like the shit we as fans went through#just for liking a damn character#tbf I do actually think if the game came out today perceptions would be different#I think people would be more comfortable with revolutionary action now than they were then#but even still#itās not even about that you know#itās about people (both fans and at times the actual devs) being mean when they really didnāt need to be#and the DA trenches are probably why literally no harassment phases me anymore lmao but#thatās not a good thing slskd itās just a useful consequence I guess#so yeah idk#am I jealous that Solas fans get to have a better experience?#yeah I canāt deny I feel a bit of that#but Iām also just. idk tired and sad for what that time was. and also glad that it seems to be over#but also a little bitter that I had to go through it when it didnāt need to happen at all#idk just feeling a lot here in this chiliās tonight lmao#(why do I say that I donāt think my country even has chiliās)#ANYWAY#dragon age#veilguard spoilers
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I love how much Lucullus can't stand Pompey, and also this
Pompey the Great: A Political Biography, Robin Seager
with something from this thrown in for extra flavor
Crassus and Pompey, on the other hand, ridiculed Lucullus for giving himself up to pleasure and extravagance, as if a luxurious life were not even more unsuitable to men of his years than political and military activities.
Plutarch, Lucullus
āĀ places Iām at!Ā bskyĀ /Ā pixivĀ /Ā pillowfortĀ /cohostĀ /Ā cara.app /Ā tip jar!
#there were going to be more citations for fun and whimsy but the laptop im borrowing can't handle running any kind of applications#right now and ctrl+f searching in a browser/webpage is also taking quite literally forever so I'm DONE for tonight. i need#to lay face down on the floor and scream for a minute#whining aside. i was watching etiquette for mistresses because i thought it was going to be something else than what it ended up being#but the title slaps and im thinking. hmmmm. thoughts. sulla's nightmare collection of fucked up guys. as a kabitserye type thing#which i will be fully honest. kind of doing that anyway. but i mean REALLY lean into it. embrace it.#they would all be SO awful it would be SO good. 200 episode drama material#komiks tag#lucius licinius lucullus#marcus licinius crassus#gnaeus pompeius magnus#roman republic tag#drawing tag#tris homines#ACTUALLY ANOTHER UNRELATED THING. pompey's whole thing about trying to get the upperhand over crassus#but when milo kills clodius he throws out milo. which honestly. that's about other things. but still! symbolically! it's something!#i'll unravel that thought later
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Thinking about how Toriyama wrote an Entire Plot centering around how Vegeta has spent the last seven years learning how to be happy and comfortable with his family on Earth and how he loves his wife so much that being Gently Reminded that he loves his wife was enough to pull him out of a violent midlife crisis and made him such a powerful guardian of Earth that Heaven broke its own rules just to put him back in that position
and Toei was like 'okay but in the sequel to that plot their marriage is terrible and he's never home'
#mmmkay but toei sweetie that's Goku. That's Goku you're thinking of. goku's the one who wife-dodges and doesn't come home for months#bulma goes full guns blazing rescue mission if she loses track of her husband for more than a week. she'll kill a man for Vegeta#Bulma shot a 12 year old in the face! she kicked vegeta out of her house when he was being a jerk about her pregnancy! she is NOT the one!!#Toei writing Vegeta rude all the time like Bulma would not Leave his ass is so funny. She ALREADY left his ass once she'd do it again.#She does not tolerate bullshit. She is not Chichi. She does not need him. She's already been through that shit with Yamcha she's TIRED.#The end of the last manga chapter of Vegeta going 'yeah I should get home or Bulma will forget me' is so good.#He knows she doesn't put up with being mistreated. He loves her for it. Bulma's the person he's mean WITH not /to/ you fools.#sorry if y'all follow my personal i AM hating very loudly on dbs again tonight while I try to get through it kasdjklasj#dbtag
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s3 episode 6 thoughts
itās been an exhausting day. work was awful. i was brave and didnāt cry whilst there. and for that, i deserve this episode even more than usual.Ā
oooooh itās an internet episode!!!! an episode about an internet killer!!! that probably felt new and scary back then!!! iām excited to see something i assume as naturally dangerous as hitchhiking to be seen as scary and new. let us jump in, and enjoy the adventures of our agents, and numb ourselves to the hardship of the outside world.
these two people are in a car. he is smooth talking her. ohā¦ they only waited three months to meet in person after talking online. hmmā¦ is that speedy or not? i guess that depends on who you ask.Ā for me, iām gonna say speedy. because they didnāt even see each otherās faces before this.
he has mysterious scars on his neck. yeah, i noticed that very conspicuous camera panning. the music is very ominous. and now theyāre kissing.Ā
OH??? THERE IS A STICKY FLUID. IN HER MOUTH. an unusual one. not whatever you were thinking. what the hellā¦ was that man some kind of insect????? there was real goop in there, man. eughhh it was very gross.Ā
cop is approaching the car next day. and she is like. jelly? as in, covered in gel. the gelatin monster has struck and apparently heās surfing the net.Ā
(trust when i say iām not a gelatin monster. or donāt trust. perhaps skepticism is better)
okay, investigation time. this guy shakes hands with mulder and entirely ignores scully. tells me a lot about his character very quickly. mulder has also got some more conventional looking shades this time around. perhaps his other ones were just not keeping the sun out like he had hoped for.
body reveal! so it seems that the goop has um. melted her skin? EUGH. mulder swabs the goop. itās just a prop, i tell myself to avoid gagging. a prop with excellent construction that was very carefully crafted. shoutout prop team as always.Ā
detective looks real freaked out by the goop.Ā yeah heās not special in that regard.
mulder says he has heard of similar killings from women placing ads in the paper! i donāt want them to separate though, as he announce heās going on an investigation while she does an autopsy. cāmon, canāt we do some teamwork in the same room?
scully looks disgusted at the bloody goop in her hand. this is appearing to be a universal sentiment.
the goop man is at the computer typing to another woman. and smiling mischievously. we learn, from a woman dropping a key off at his door, that his name is mr. incanto, and she thinks that since he types and gets a lot of packages, he must be a writer or an editor. and she wants him to read her poems. wow. leaping to conclusions here. i admire it. itās clear sheās flirting with him, and the idea of a person youāre attracted to reading your poems is a wild one for me to entertain. personally i would rather explode crazy style.
scully is scrubbed up <3 and she is so cute <3 i donāt mean this in a condescending wayā¦ she just looks cute in a fully āi respect her capabilitiesā kind of way. donāt worry. but this man is not respecting her and is shocked sheās a doctor. rude as hellā¦ could never be me.
he says heās old fashioned. umm okay if you want to be all manly about it how about you cut up the goop body yourselfā¦ oh thatās right you canāt. because you donāt have the skill set. or even any skill sets, as far as i can tell.
he says this is effecting her judgement because the victim is a woman and he isnāt being sexist. IF YOU DONāT SHUT YOUR MOUTH MANā¦. she is so patient even when she ought to rip his heart from his chestĀ with her teeth
sheās making a face when he leaves like she really IS thinking about doing some heart ripping and then she gets into the recording mode. and the body has increased in goopiness. in fact. there is only a skeleton now and a LOT of liquid. ohā¦Ā
mulder is asking about the murder victim, and heās sitting on a very 90ās printed couch, and yeah he looks good. donāt worry about it. heās asking the victimās roommate what chat room they met in. now personally, if i was talking to people on a chat room, i would not be telling my roommate the names of said chat rooms, but maybe it was different vibe wise at that time. imagine if my roommate knew i ran a blog like this. i couldnāt picture such a thing. and the victim would READ her roommate the letters???!? OH I CANNOT IMAGINE SUCH A THING!!!!
he uses the roommateās house phone to call scully, who is dealing with a very wet skeleton. but thatās so funny to me. he wanted to use someone elseās phone to call her. maybe his phone still hadnāt been replaced since that kid melted it in episode 3.
heās putting out a localized online warningā¦ is that a thing? wow. you learn so much on this television program.
āin life, bones have the tensile strength of forged ironā, says scully. and iām giggling. n kicking my feet.
ohhh the bone is SQUISHY.Ā it is not supposed to be this way. but it did look quite satisfying. again, props team, shoutout.
oh teaā¦ the body fat wasnāt there!!! it disappeared. scully is like, why would he do that, steal a victimās fat. and i would love to know the same thing.Ā
another woman is preparing to meet with the goop monster. oh, but someone is telling her there was a warning SPECIFICALLY for woman in cleveland to not go meet people online! but sheās like nooo iām a good judge of character. LIES LIES LIES. sheās only been talking to him for a MONTH???? HOW CAN YOU JUDGE A CHARACTER IN A MONTH?
the killerās at a fancy restaurant looking place with a bouquet of flowers and heās checking his watch. oh and he dumps the flowers!!! queen of self preservation saved herself tonight by standing him up??? yes, it appears this is the case!!Ā
now there are a bunch of ladies on the side of the road. i have only seen this happen in this show and never in real life, but maybe i'm not looking in the right direction. NO! he sees a woman and smiles. they go to a back alleyā¦ no!! but she wonāt kiss him. okay, i think, she has a chance. alas. i was wrong. so he attacks. OH AND HE IS SLURPING ON HER BODY???? another woman finds her goop-ified.Ā
theyāre at the scene and the detective is being awful (shocker!) but mulder hands over some of the letters from the killer, and notes that they contain letters from 16th century italian poems. which tells me he is familiar with 16th century italian poems. ohhhhhhhhhh. blushing a lil.Ā
focus. so the fellow would have access to niche italian poems, is what we are learning here. likely a college professor, or a grad student, or something along those lines.
the killer should also have a wound pattern, they note, because the woman scratched him very well.
and BLEGHHHH, cut to his place, where heās cutting his wound??? like straight up trimming it like itās fabric or something. nasty nasty nasty nasty!!!
someone is bringing him a package. and the woman who asked to show him her poems asks him to dinner?!?!?! but he says heās busy. the teenage daughter reads him for filth.Ā heās creepy and smells weird. delivered by a girl who meant every word she said.
scully is posing impeccably, looking as someone types on a computer. it was formidable.
mulder comes by with some results and he sort of. scoops her out of the room. š³
theory time in the hallway! hallway theory time!! always one of my favorite times. āokay, itās not yet the finely detailed insanity that youāve come to expect from meā <- at least heās self awareĀ
FAT SUCKING VAMPIRE LETāS GOOOO. such a preposterous creature. i have to admire it.
there are examples of this in nature, right? āi donāt know too many scorpions who surf the internetā scully, you just offended the coolest scorpion alive somewhere out there. but they couldnāt hear you so itās okay. just donāt ever say that againā¦
scully wants to brief the people involved in the case and the detective is again being weird. mulder recognizes this. i can see it.
okay, so the killer has some more niche italian poetry. and an email from the woman who saved herself by not showing up! nooo, i thought she had escaped!
knock at the door. itās scully. but not at the door of the right guy!! the detective is at the door of the right guy!!!Ā
mulder makes some remark about not being a good salesman because no one answered the door. and yeah i giggled. but she cuts him off with the fact the detective hasnāt answered his calls or returnedā¦ has he been gooped?!
now the killer is out with the woman who previously saved herself. and she sees his skin. and she offers to drive him home!!! noooo ellen :( donāt fall for his tricks and lies
the poetry woman is at his door. she puts a HUGE thing of poems under his door.Ā
but back in the car he is about to smooch ellen. somehow poetry lady let herself into his room??? and a bunch of flies are around.Ā
(we later learn she was the housekeeper or landlord or something so yeah. she would have access to the keys. but at the time i was baffled)
goop monster and ellen donāt smooch because he sees the poem lady is in his room!!! and the detective is in the tub!!! and he walks in right as she sees this!!! oh no. violence ensuesā¦
her daughter comes to the door. and asks where her mom is. and he GRABS her weird as hell. and says heās leaving.
mulder is sitting on a table again because heās weird. but the girl calls the police!!! and they found her momās body and the detective's. the little girl asks scully why someone would do this and she says she doesnāt knowā¦ STOP IāLL SOB
okay, this dudeās name is virgil and there are no records of him existing. virgil. damn. maybe heās FROM 16th century italy, because thatās a 16th century sounding name. are there any italian legends of fat sucking vampires? canāt say iām very familiar with their loreĀ
theyāre trying to get into his computer and all the files were deleted. ohhh they have floppy disks!!!Ā i love floppy disks š¾
the killer went to ellenās place?!!?!? and she locks the door. ellen please pull out a glock at this time.Ā
scully sent out a warning to everyone in proximity. and three of them were already missing!!!! that is evilĀ :(
and ellen got the email but heās in the room. and he starts attackingā¦ oh lord, just as the agents roll up.Ā
they get in formation and then kick down her door and WHEW they way they work as a teamā¦ iām eating it up. sweeping the rooms. guns cocked.Ā
ellen is under some sheets and coated in goop whilst mulder does parkour to go and find this guy. GO GO MULDER RUN RUN!!! his voice is all growly while he holds a shadowy figure at gunpoint, but he only runs into a teenager.Ā no! poor kid :(
NOOOā¦ THE KILLER WAS HIDING IN THE BATHROOM AND SCULLY WAS GOING IN THERE TO GET SOME STUFF TO TAKE CARE OF ELLEN!! he smashed her head in the mirror and he starts to goop her until ellen does in fact roll up with a glock. and shoots him in the chest. YES ELLEN I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU <3
so they have him in custody now and his skin is suuuuuuper dry and peeling and nasty. and scully asks what the hell he was doing and he goes on about stuff blah blah blah and then he quotes some italian and she gets freaked and dips. and we end with a hannibal-esque shot of his evil peeling nasty face. and some contemplative music.
so. that was gross.
grossness established. i once again kind of enjoyed this episode. like was i gagging, and not in the good way? yeah i was. but again with the suspense. i think the plot could be absolutely ridiculous- like an actual fat vampire- and if the plot and pacing are the right tempo, iāll find myself fully absorbed into it.Ā
but i canāt help but feel that iām missing something. the italian seemed too purposeful. is there some medieval tale of a fat vampire? iām being so serious btw like actually. is that a reference that flew over my head? is it in danteās inferno or something? i love history but middle ages europe always puts me to sleep so i canāt say iām familiar with the literature or tropes beyond what i learned in art history class. where we never covered ANY sort of vampire. just a lot of baby jesus and also mary and sometimes adult jesus.Ā
hmm. so iām wondering here what that was about. and yeah, i could google it. but again, more fun when you tell me things.
i mean, if it was something they just made up for fun, i get that too. like earlier we had that evil mermaid baby that lived in the waterways. and we had that evil twin that looked like the fiji mermaid. and eugene tooms the lizard man. the seriousness with which the situation is played enhances the campy angle when you ponder it.
overall, it was interesting to see a world where the internet was new and fresh and scary. now itās scary in mostly familiar ways. but it was not always this way! and while i am a little confused on the concept of the episode itself- who exactly our monster of the week was, if he even WAS a monster of traditional sort of means- i wonāt lie, the episode had me invested. there were also moral questions raised about how someone could do something so evil, specifically in relation to scullyās character, which probably speaks to her biggest fear being that anyone could pose a threat, which i think iāll contemplate at another time, because it is fascinating, especially when you considerā¦ i think itās s2 episode 13? where the narrative also really dives into this question. how can people do evil things, and how can good people cope with knowing that itās impossible to know who is capable of doing terrible things?
after a hard day at work in which a million things went sideways, it does feel nice to watch my pals mulder and scully do some sleuthing, no matter the situation in which they find themselves.
the goopsterrrrrrrr
#well the episode might have been creepy but i wanted to see them tonight so i enjoyed it#i was at work today head in my hands mumbling god let me get through this i need mulder and scully time#you know what i was thinking about at work today? so far i donāt know much about their music taste#and by āmuchā i mean anything at all#but no spoilersā¦ maybe itāll be mentioned eventually. iām keeping an eye out.#when i get further in i am going to find SO many spotify playlists for them#both of songs that relate to their characters/storylines AND songs people think they would like#i intend to let it change my life and i look forward to the experience#anyway. long day. probs another one tomorrow. just glad i had time to post tonight#but tbh i would have carved it out either way because sometimes you NEED to blorbo blog or else#juni's x files liveblog#3x06#the x files#x files#txf
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Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb
#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that#you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario#where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality#and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do#also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute#like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the#AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties#on people last minute lol#assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about#birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc.#ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted#AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj#I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people#I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews#or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made#surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra#m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj)#I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat#whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh#New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing#for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way#*** *** ***#< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol)#(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me)#BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you?#:0c
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Overhead, the stars shone clear and bright, and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn, on the foothills across this very city, though she might be little more than a strange, mighty being from another world, he offered up a prayer anyway.
Then, he had begged Mala to protect Aelin from Maeve when they entered Doranelle, to give her strength and guidance, and to let her walk out alive. Then, he had begged Mala to let him remain with Aelin, the woman he loved. The goddess had been little more than a sunbeam in the rising dawn, and yet he had felt her smile at him.
Tonight, with only the cold fire of the stars for company, he begged her once more.
A curl of wind sent his prayer drifting to those stars, to the waxing moon silvering the camp, the river, the mountains.
He had killed his way across the world; he had gone to war and back more times than he cared to remember. And despite it all, despite the rage and despair and ice he'd wrapped around his heart, he'd still found Aelin. Every horizon he'd gazed toward, unable and unwilling to rest during those centuries, every mountain and ocean he'd seen and wondered what lay beyond... It had been her. It had been Aelin, the silent call of the mating bond driving him, even when he could not feel it.
They'd walked this dark path together back to the light. He would not let the road end here.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#Essar#Mala#more starry quotes#lord of the north#I will find you#no spoilers pls 1st read to read along with me pt 4 of 4 perspectives more notes/quotes/reacts in tags; spoilers in both post & tags#They would not all go in all go out. ā he wonāt leave without Aelinā¦ and probably Cairn dead#Ready to unleash hell when he sent a flare of his magic diverting soldiers to their side while Rowan made his run for Aelin.#She'd protested but even Gavriel had told her that she was mortal. Untrained. And what she'd done todayā¦ Rowan didnāt have the words#thank you for Elide appreciation day#He trusted Essar. She'd never liked Maeve had outright said she did not serve her with any willingness or pride.#But these last few hours before dawn when so many things could go wrong...#the full circle of him praying to Mala in HoF and then mentioning it in QoS and EoS and now here in KoAš#She had to be there. Aelin had to be there.#If they had come so close but wound up being the very thing that had caused Maeve to take Aelin away AGAIN#The bond within him lay dark and slumbering. No indication of her proximity. ā Maeve doing that too AGH I HATE HER SO MUCH#Essar had no idea that Aelin was being kept here until Elide informed her. How many others hadn't known? How well had Maeve hidden her?#ā maybe that means thereās some good face on their side who might help if they know or learn?#ah rowaelins love language of revenge and compartmentalizing#Overhead the stars shone clear and bright and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn on the foothills across this very city#though she might be little more than a strange mighty being from another world he offered up a prayer anyway.#his magic sending a prayer to the northern stars for dawn to stay with the woman he loves ā even back thenš#Tonight with only the cold fire of the stars for company he begged her once more.#HE SAYS COLD FIRE BECAUSE ITS NOT HIS FIREHEARTš and the the darkness back to the light ā IT WILL NOT END HERE WE WONT LET IT HE WONT LET IT#and the fact he knew he loved her back thenš and all those centuries before when he didnāt know whyššš
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ahhhh the relief i just felt after deciding avery convinces the veilguard crew that the veil's gotta go (if for no other reason than besides it's the practical, prudent thing to do given its state and nature)(lol and lmao at 'veilguard') and they all figure it out amicably (or at least nonviolently) while facing the larger threat and solas helps clean up the south (after putting up like one million more wards around the black city) and then when the dust has settled he and avery go soothe the blight tesseract thing (takes a few centuries) and then-- ok i'll stop
is it as high tension as the narrative in canon? nope! but it felt like getting in a warm bath
#personal log#meddle boys#veilguard spoilers#i'm sorry for all the ocposting i think im losing my mind#the only other option is avery ko's solas before he can bind himself then does it himself jdhdkdj#i mean take it down#not bind himself god jdhskdj avery would never#sorry no way in hell avery is ever letting him do something that fucking stupid#he is in no state to make a decision like that in that moment#veilguard ending is too final my meddle boys have meddling to do yet#them vs the industrial revolution has been very fun to play with#VHENAN WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME TELEGRAMS STOP WE CAN TALK IN THE FADE TONIGHT STOP WE DON'T HAVE TO SPEND OUR COIN ON THIS STOP#IT'S FUN STOP#shsgjshdh they run out of God Money and have to get jobs kshshdkdh#avery is SUCH a tech yuppie jdhdjdh catch him with the latest iPhonograph#dorian pavus XII: yeah my two weird uncles came free with my birthright#that sounds weird. dorian and the amatus adopted#.... yall don't even want to know how far into the future these two go. i'm pushing star trek au territory#solas is in science avery is in command--#avery outranks solas significantly and solas wouldn't have it any other way#'vhenan people are trying to ask me favors to convince u of things again'#'well what are they'#'....ensign schmidt wants thursday off.'#'that can be arranged'#this couple is old. old as balls#i think they would break ds9 if i popped them in there even tho they fit... perfectly...#i think they would have more fun out in the delta quadrant#that's where they get picked up lmao hell yeah janeway would recruit them#WAIT LMAO JDHDJ solas&avery: is it just me or does our captain sound just like flemeth.....#they got no magic outside of thedas tho :(
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idk what to do anymofe atp.
#tonight my mother sat me down at the table and asked me about a friend of mine#this friend is openly a lesbian and my parents know her well because we go spend vacations in the same place#but she lives in switzerland and i don't see her often#and my mom asked me out of the blue if i texted her often in a very suspect way and so i told her that we do in fact text pretty often#because like my parents know her she always bring us chocolate and dog treats for my dog and they never seemed to have issues with that#and she was āwhat did she say to you?ā and at first i was confused and also scared AF#in a 100% serious voice like āif something happened would you tell me?ā#and like what the fuck realllg#i eventually understood she was hinting at me buying āmen'sā clothing in the last year or so#and this friend of mine is very masculine presenting and does the same and i tried to explain my choices had nothing to do with her#but my mother was like āi mean you never did anything like this in the past idk why would you start nowā and wanted to show me a picture#of like my twelve years old me wearing a dress???#and then she was like āi think you should stop interacting so much with her because it's not a healthy company for youā like-#what the fuck was that#the whole conversation#scared fbe shit out of me because this is my āi'm not homophobic and i'm in fact very accepting of everyoneā mother
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today just will not let me rest huh. reasons are in the tags but i get very emotional just be warned
#hush n shush wifi#just a tad sad#actually more like angry as shit#okay let me TELL YALL about my day#first: the annoying#i was going shopping at a grocery warehouse and you know how those parking lots are always super crowded?#well it was. there were no parking spots and there were so many cars and people trying to go everywhere#i scraped my wheels too which is fine but one of my relatives who likes cars acts like it's a sin#so that shook me up enough that i didn't go outside for the rest of the day#and THEN#OHHHH AND FUCKING THEN.#if anyone remembers the absolute ass of a person from last year who i thought was my friend but said horrible things to me out of the blue#WELL THEY CAME BACK#i never got a chance to block them initially because they blocked me first#BUT I GOT FUCKING MESSAGES FROM THEM TONIGHT#AND ALL THEY WERE SAYING WAS ESSENTIALLY THAT THEY MEANT WHAT THEY SAID#they said some bullshit about the execution being wrong and that their ex wrote it for them#which by the way is just scummy on its own#and that they get mad emotionally which is a horrible excuse#and had the AUDACITY TO ASK IF I HAD ANY QUESTIONS#IN WHAT DELUDED SELF CENTERED WORLD DO YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN TO THINK I WOULD EVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN#my trust is a VERY VERY FRAGILE THING#AND THIS IS A VERY LARGE CONTRIBUTOR TO IT#this isn't an apology. they regret none of it#this is a way for them to make themself feel better#the scariest part is that this person by now is almost/IS an adult#which is terrifying if that means there are more people like that out there#i try not to wish ill will but i genuinely hope no one ever has to suffer through being their 'friend' ever again#anyways they're blocked on all of my platforms now.#if the person is somehow reading this. hi! never talk to me again. you're a horrible human being with no consideration for other's feelings
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#its seems we really may be at the end of vanity#i missed a call from my dad and thought we might be in a connors birthday situation but no. not yet#he did say that it feels like this is it bc my mom's situation is complicated bc she has so much wrong at this point#its like a h0use md episode. the doctors dont seem to kno what to do and shes not very coherent#so my dad was saying that i should look at flights and by tonight hell let me kno if i should pull the trigger and buy a one way ticket home#it sucks. he sounds rough. i feel so bad for him. his wife of 29 years is dying#its not fair. shes only 53#i wanna be there but im stuck here across the country. i wanna go home. thats a bit frighting tho bc itll take me at least 10 hrs to travel#and i dont want her to die while im in the air but i also dont want her to suffer#i hope she gets better but if she doenst i hope its fast. there dont seem to do any good options. shes so tried and its so complicated#and if she does get better than this then what would that even mean? my sister says it doesnt feel like there will b a better anymore after#this. and bless her to the ends of the earth she reached out this morning and was giving me updates#comforting to kno im not just being dramatic. its actually just really bleak#its kinda funny tho. my sister was like meh it doesnt seem so bad and then like 10min later she was like yeah no i was wrong its sorta#horrible apprently shes been deterorating#god. if i go back home do i take clothes for a funeral? do i keep up to date with my genomics class? will i become offset from my graduate#cohort? will i get my wish to play with legos at home? all questions worth considering#well. ill deal with whatever comes. so it goes. itll b fine. i mean ill b fine#just sad ya kno?#three weeks ago she was alright and saying she could fly out to take care of me after oral surgery#now shes dying#unrelated
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Would you guys still like me if I ended up writing a whole meta on Brand New City's double meanings for SQX. Would you.
#tbd#not tonight though i had to drive for 6 and a half hours today i can barely think rn.#'i think my fate is losing its patience'. going crazy stupid insane over how many meanings that has for her.#generally most songs off lush and bury me at makeout creek are her. but that's also mitski magic.#if you listen to drunk walk home; last words of a shooting star; francis forever#you basically get their pov of beginning/middle/end of bw arc#and if you're extra like me and believe their poorly healed injuries would lead to a much shortened lifespan. carry me out.
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I must say, it's pretty poetic that I've gotten to season 6 of Vampire Diaries right before another solar eclipse happens in America. I certainly didn't plan it, but it does feel like my timing is very appropriate with this one. I do have questions about the accuracy of the eclipse portrayal in the show, though. I mean, a solar eclipse did in fact happen on May 10, 1994, and it was visible across much of the country, so that much is accurate. But I don't think Mystic Falls would've had quite as good of a view as they show it having. For reference, here's a map of the May 1994 eclipse path (credit: timeanddate.com):
And, if you'll remember, Mystic Falls is like two hours from my old hometown just a stone's throw north of Lynchburg, Virginia, as seen on the locator spell map (this one's all over tumblr, forgive me for not remembering what blog I grabbed it from):
So if you zoom in on the timeanddate map and pick somewhere closeish to there:
It looks like Mystic Falls would be getting a little over 77% coverage or so. It's also worth noting that the '94 eclipse was an annular eclipse, not a total eclipse like tomorrow's eclipse. That still means that the moon went directly in front of the sun, but it does mean that it was small enough/far enough from earth that you didn't quite get full coverage of the sun (thanks to weather.gov for the nifty graphic):
So, I'm not positive whether it would've looked quite as dark as was shown in the show:
Although, I must admit, in this video I found on youtube of the '94 eclipse, (part of me is shocked to find footage from then but I know I shouldn't be like yes they had cameras in the 90s) it actually looks more similar than I expected it to look, but I imagine it was most likely filmed within the path of totality:
youtube
But also, when Kai takes Bonnie to Portland, don't they see the eclipse again there? I couldn't find that clip on youtube just now, but Portland barely had any eclipse--only 42-43% coverage, so it would've been way milder of a visual effect, barely any dimming in the sky noticeable without eclipse glasses.
The funny thing is, the area where I live is going to be sitting right around 80% coverage tomorrow. I was lucky enough to get to travel to Missouri for the 2017 eclipse to get into the path of totality, but I'm afraid that it hasn't worked out for me to do so this year, which is immensely disappointing to me as an astronomy enjoyer, but I do still plan to go to an eclipse party and I'm going to start saving to try and get to Spain for the next total eclipse in 2026, which is going to be right around my 30th birthday (screaming). Anyways, it isn't great, but here's my best picture from the '17 eclipse:
I didn't even have a smartphone yet then, because despite it being 2017, I was somewhat of a luddite, so I had the purple flip phone I so stubbornly clung to and a point-and-click Nikon, but I still think this picture is pretty cool for what it is. Here's the zoom in so you can really see that ring of fire (and my shaking hands doubling the image):
Obviously you can find thousands of better eclipse pictures online, but that one's still special to me because it's mine. Anyways, I'll report back with smart phone pictures from whatever I see of the 80% total eclipse tomorrow to compare and contrast with Mystic Falls's 70% annular eclipse of the 90s, because from what I've heard it's going to be much less impressive than full totality was, but I've yet to watch a partial solar eclipse, so I'll just have to find out. Also, if you happen to have any vampiric loved ones trapped in a magical prison dimension who you need help freeing during the eclipse tomorrow, let me know and I'll see what I can do! ;) Hahaha. Anyways, happy eclipse everyone, and may we all possess sufficient self restraint to avoid eye damage (says the woman who has looked at the sun unprotected so many times and is probably going to go blind because of it some day. I know what I've done lol. Don't be me.)
#posts where I actually feel like I'm using my blog as a blog#Solar Eclipse#Solar Eclipse 2024#Solar Eclipse 1994#The Vampire Diaries#TVD 6x02#is where the screenshot's from specifically#Damon Salvatore#Bonnie Bennett#Eclipse History#nerding out over the eclipse in the vampire show#it's also funny to me how two eclipses in my lifetime are so close to my birthday. I think it probably means I have magical powers ;)#May 10 1994#that's two years and change before I was born#April 8 2024#I'm so tempted to ditch all my responsibilities and drive south to totality but it's an 8 hour drive and I'd have to leave at like 4am#if it was a 4-5 hour drive to totality I'd do it. but I think a 16 hour round trip would kill me and I didn't have the good sense to plan#or book a hotel in advance or anything and everything in totality will be booked up for sure. and tonight is the night I would need to be#in a hotel anyways so. missed that boat. I mean I could go now and just drive through the night. but ugh. I just. ugh. I can but I can't yk#anyways everybody says that the Vampire Diaries writing quality drops off around here but I'm still loving it so far#it's incredibly frustrating sometimes but like. it knows how to give me The Feels(tm) and so I'll let it jerk me around all it wants#I would personally prolly want to stay in the prison world for at least a little bit to get to enjoy that eclipse from a bunch of angles th#like that's a rad as heck day to get trapped on imho. Love me a good eclipse#i ramble#even in the tags I ramble#Youtube
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It continues to give me the warm fuzzies that basically every person at work has said they'll miss me. And it's not really utility, even if I'm useful; I am not in a critical position. There are many people who can do the things I do, even if the majority are less experienced. I'm not management, or a lynchpin, just a long-time worker bee.
But people like me, and I just handled a Crisis Situation well enough that the AD took the time to personally thank me, and my manager was like 'not only am I willing to be a reference you can use my personal phone number if that's easier' and even some of the newest additions said they're going to miss me on desk, and I just.
I love my job and my coworkers and it's really nice that the people there know it and love me back.
#I told mom about Crisis Situation#and tonight when dad got home she was like COME IN AND TELL YOUR DAD#and then both of them were like WHEN COMPANY COMES NEXT WEEK TELL THEM TOO#haha#I mean dad did follow it up with 'no you may not drive across the country alone we will figure something out'#I'm gonna work on him about it we tried the thing where all of us are in one vehicle#Tuesday screamed the whole time and mom wanted to kill her and also me#I shall remind him of that#I think he will probably come around#if I could convince someone to come with I would probably make it an actual road trip#'come to TX for the eclipse!'#'we will drive through the deep south and hit some Neat Shit and then go up the coast!'#like you could make that a fun drive#I'm not gonna do the long version if I'm solo tho bc my parents are convinced I will be murdered#which is silly; I have not infrequently been in Situations and strangers have been kind#also the odds of getting strangermurdered for no damn reason are SO low#and the incentives to murder Me Specifically are also very low#and if a white cishet-passing woman dies 90% of the time it's a romantic partner and I'm aroace so like#I really wonder what they're imagining is gonna happen#babble tea (blacklist this for less chatter)#tea writes tag novels
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Great news!!! After struggling with this god forsaken chapter for MONTHS im FINALLY DONE. now I just have to edit and then im FREE š
#of course when i say 'im done'#that means that some parts of it are literally just [insert dialogue here] bc dialogue is my worst enemy#and i sometimes leave it to editing me to take care of it jsjjfkfk#but u know what i said this chapter would be out before the end of march and ON GOD i kept that promise#its. yeah its 8k.#once more i told myself it would be like a nice 5-6k and here we are#i struggled so much with it bc a) splinter is in it! finally lmao#i had so muxh trouble writing him actually#and b) theres a leo and casey conversation at the end that i ALSO really struggled with#but i think i did okay so :v#its 2am and i am. very. very tired.#and i am going to have a wonderful sleep tonight <3#summer post
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#i literally this close to ruining a friendship with confessing my feelings for my friend š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£#i mean it's kind of a well known secret that i have feelings for her :)))))#tonight i drank some wine and we had a convo about how im waiting for her and if she'd asked me out i would be to shy to say anything at all#and all that shit. the usual back and forth halfhearted flirting we've been doing for years#but it's fuckin killing me right now because a few months ago i realized i actually do have feelings for her :DDDD#and like. she knows it i just never said it outright. but she fuckin knows. everyone fuckin knows who knows us that there's something lmfao#and im literally this close to just telling her it all#and im pretty fuckin sure that would ruin everything because she's been together with her boyfriend around the same time we met :)))#and even if she has feelings for me then what bro? she'd never drop him and I don't think our friendship could go on if i confess :)))#even though it super obvious:)))))#i dont even know what im taking about anymore im just fuckin sad and heartbroken bro#I've only had deeper feelings twice and both were for my best friends who are in relationships#but oh my god this time it feels so much fucking worse#i ghosted her last a week because i just couldn't deal with constantly feeling like shit and being jealous every time she mentions ger bf#AND IT FEELS LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT TO NOT BE HAPPY FOR HER??? SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND I SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR HER HAPPINESS#BUT I CAN'T BE A 100% HAPPY AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SO FUCKING GUILTY AND BAD#i just need like a car or sth to take me out bro i can't do this š„²š„²š„²#I just want these feelings to go away oh my god how many months will it be#i really feel like I can't keep this to myself anymore. and that would just ruin everything#oh my god just kill me#ĆGNES IF YOU SEE THIS FUCKING POST THEN NO YOU DON'T#not like I don't cry to you about this every 3 days#anyway im sorry. next year i will get to the requests in my inbox aye? :'DD#shut up vivien no one cares
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No bc if this guy isn't into me he needs to Stop making me feel some type of way lmao
#not snz#it is past 3 am#and we're texting bc i said i have to be up all night and he decided he would stay up with me lmao#my little creature decided to have Issues And Problems as she always does when absolutely everything is closed#she's not sick this time at least but I'm stressed nonetheless and have to stay awake with her#and bro is out here still texting with me so i don't have to be up all alone this time#like excuse you don't show concern for me and my babies if you don't want me to make heart eyes lmao#on a real note tho i am so fucking tired#i wanted to go to bed early tonight and instead i have to stay awake#like man i just wanna think my thoughts and go to sleep but instead I'm half awake trying to use critical thinking skills#with any luck tho i shouldn't have to be up much longer#so fingers crossed there bc i don't even feel like a human person rn š#also i know him staying up with me means literally nothing bc i do it all the time for my coworkers#but it's still making me feel things š#partner posting
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