#not tonight though i had to drive for 6 and a half hours today i can barely think rn.

[deiscension]

Would you guys still like me if I ended up writing a whole meta on Brand New City's double meanings for SQX. Would you.

[anticipatecrime]

𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙨 𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 | colby brock & sam golbach x fem reader

summary: slight enemies to lovers trope, sam/colby, and you are from kansas, and make haunted content, only difference is they blew up months before you did. you and the guys have a rocky relationship, jokingly but also not jokingly hating eachother. what happens when you both plan to film at the stanley on the same day. | a/n: hey guys, uh warning for like the beginning of smut(?) also please call me out on spelling mistakes!! also don't be shy to request jake words: 12k

"hey guys, welcome back to another video! if you saw my recent tweets, you'll know that our next series is going to be based around the stanley hotel, one of the most haunted areas in the us." you introduced the video idea. "and to make it even more special, we're going to be joined by three very special guests that you may recognize."

you pan the camera towards your three best friends. "vera, milo andd finn!"

"hi guys!" vera smiles, waving to the camera, adjusting her backpack on her shoulder. her light brown hair blowing in the slight wind.

"hey whats up." milo says, putting his hand to his mouth and biting his lip, making his brother roll his eyes.

"nobody likes that." finn murmurs seriously, before chuckling. "hi fans! i've missed you guys." he makes a heart with his hands.

"cringe alerttt." milo snickers, making fun of him.

"okay, okay calm down guys, i need to explain to them what's going to happen today." you stated, setting down the camera onto a tripod, before sitting down yourself on a bench outside of target. "come sit down, i want to get a cool shot."

one by one they sit down on the bench with you, everyone squished so they could be in frame. "okay, so! i'm hoping to film the entire trip so i have a series worth of content for you guys. and i was thinking on how we should get to the stanley, like by plane or something but then i had a thought.. what if.. we did.. a roadtrip!" you announce to not just the viewers but also your friends.

"what." milo gave a disapointed look. "how long are we going to be in colorado?"

"i was thinking that we start driving there tonight, it's kinda a long drive so we'll get to colorado around 11am, and we can like chill out until we check in at stanley around 5, explore the most haunted areas, and then we can sleep for a bit and then wake up at 3am." you explain, earning a nod from the group.

"i'm thinking we only stay there overnight and then we leave in the morning around 10 or so, another 17 hours back, makes it just like two days and a half i think." you say, overexplaining the time, to make sure nobody was busy.

"what day is it today?" vera asks, looking to the two boys.

"wednesday." finn answers, giving a smile to the girl, earning a smile back.

"wait wednesday? shit i don't think i can go y/n, i have a modeling thing on sunday." milo shrugs.

"you'll be back saturday morning, though." you say, raising an eyebrow, and crossing your arms.

"i need my beauty sleep, this trip sounds exhausting, i can't come back, having a shoot with eyebags." he says, earning a scoff from finn.

"whattt." vera pouts at him. "but the ghost squad won't be the same without you! the viewers will be so upset at you."

"yeah! milo we need you to come with us, you always make for good content." you say, before giggling.

he pauses for a moment, thinking about his schedule before looking to vera. the two had a weird relationship, something along the lines of friends with benefits.

finally, he shrugs. "i guess i'll go, but i need to be back that morning, i need time to recharge." he says.

"awesome!" you smile, jumping out of your seat on the bench. you glance at finns watch. "okay so it's about 4, we need to leave around 6. so i'm thinking we get loads of snacks and some ghost type stuff here at target, get to the apartment and then we can pack like anything we need."

"fuck yeah." finn nods. "i'm down for snacks." he laughs as you jokingly pass your credit card to him.

"since i'm dragging you guys out here, the snacks and stuff is all on me so don't worry about paying."

"yoo really?" finn actually snatches your card this time, laughing mischievously.

"are drinks on you too?" vera asks, with a smug smile. "i could use some vod- i mean water." she looks into the camera directly as she corrects herself. she coughs. "water, yes water."

"i fucking love water." milo laughs, wrapping an arm around vera, making her blush.

you clear your throat, before looking to finn, and pulling him along into target. "lets go guys! we don't have much time."

the four of you grab a cart, trying to keep the camera down so an employee doesn't see and kick you out. vera suggests you getting into the cart, so you do and suddenly shes pushing you down aisles at rapid speed.

you scream at the movements. "vera! be careful!" you laugh, the boys chasing you two down.

"how will we get snacks if you two are fooling around with your shenanigans." finn comments, trying not to burst out into laughter.

"okayy, fineee." vera stops the cart, making it jolt.

"so, what snacks should we get?" you ask from inside the cart, looking at the chip selection.

"oo definitely doritos." milo reaches for them, throwing them in.

"i want ms vickies." you say, grabbing two kinds, both your favourite, and finn's.

"hmm i don't know what i want, i'm more craving licorice." she walks away into the direction of the candy aisle.

"she left us!!" you pout, encouraging finn to push the cart slowly.

as you three make it to the other aisle, you see vera with her hands full of candy. licorice, m&ms, gummy bears, popcorn and some chocolate.

"yes the m&ms!" you shout, making grabby hands towards the small package.

"i know you so well." vera snickers, chucking not one but two packages directly at you. "score!!"

"do we need any other snacks?" you wonder aloud, looking back to the guys.

"i could use a drink." milo comments, shrugging.

"to the drinks!"

everyone goes completely different in their choice of drink. you watch as finn reaches for two monster cans, vera on her tippy toes trying to grab a bottle of fresca, and milo looking at coconut milk. you scoff and roll your eyes at that.

finn notices the look and shuffles over to you, whispering behind his hand. "he's so lame."

you try not to laugh, as he's a few meters away. "i agree. i don't know what vera sees in him." you mutter back, knowing that finn has been in love with her since preschool.

you had all gone to the small school, finn meeting vera, and milo meeting you in kindergarten. because of classes you didn't really know finn until he was at vera's 6th birthday party.

and ever since you three had been the best of friends. with milo he was slightly different. it was like he was popular since the womb. he came out and immediately was the cooler sibling. it took a few more years for him to be apart of the group, only really joining because vera had a huge crush on him.

it was a weird love triangle. them being brothers and all. it was obvious milo didn't have feelings for her but he couldn't not play into it.

"i'm being serious, i can't believe she's still all over him." you say. "he treats her horribly. you really should confess." you encourage him.

"dude, i'm not ruining our 18 year long friendship just because of my dumb feelings." he sighs disappointingly.

"atleast consider it. you're perfect for her!"

"perfect for who?" both you and finn become still, eyes wide turning to the girl standing infront of them.

"perfect for selena gomez." you blurt, before whispering into her direction. "his celebrity crush." you shrug, trying to hide what was actually happening.

finn rolls his eyes, annoyed. "yeah."

"oh cool. she's hot i guess." she turns away and walks back towards milo, attempting to look over his shoulder.

"close one." you mumble.

"don't talk about this stuff around her, i can't risk her finding out." he pleads, embarrassed of the situation.

"yes, of course, sorry about that." you rub the back of your neck awkwardly before getting a drink too.

about 20 minutes later, and you're leaving target, still in the cart, packed tightly around the bags. you click the button on your key, the trunk popping out. the guys begin to pack away the bags in there, before vera takes you on one last run with the cart.

"wooooo!" you smile, feeling the cold wind hit you at your fast past. you're going so quick that you can only just make out the figures of the guys, finn with his camera out, taking a few pictures of the two of you.

after the shenanigans were over, you were driving the car back to the apartment you, vera and finn shared. you remember when vera begged you two to let milo move in as if there was room.

the apartment was bigger than an average one, but for four people, it would suck and be cramped with eachothers things.

and it wasn't like you couldn't afford a real place, because you could. your youtube channel was absolutely blowing up. you were about halfway to three million subscribers, around the same amount as your social media arch nemesis, sam and colby.

your channel and theirs have always been really close, them having no more then 10k subscribers then you at a time. it's been noticed by many fans, and earlier this year it became a competition. both yours and their fanbases have almost gone against eachother, starting a rivalry.

it was such a serious thing to their fans that they would leave hate comments on most of your videos. you tried not to let it get to you, and you made sure to only take them as jokes.

you honestly felt a bit betrayed by sam and colby as a creator. you thought they would've spoken up about the real threats, but they chose to leave it unnoticed, leave their fans spewing hate.

infact one time they even made a passive aggressive dig towards you in their haunted series a few months ago. colby said something along the lines of how they would always be better and he made a joke about sexism, that womens youtube content could never be as good as a mans. he clearly said it was a joke, but who jokes about that stuff?

and that's when you really declared war. if they wanted to be assholes, they would get treated as such. you ended up blocking him on instagram so you’d stop getting tagged in stuff with him.

you sighed, walking through the door behind everyone else, going to your room to pack a few clothing items. you turned the camera back on, setting it on the side table. "hey guys, just an update, we are now each packing our bags, and hopefully we will leave within the hour! hmm i think i'm gonna post the picture finn took in the parking lot for you guys."

you go onto your phone and post a picture on instagram. this was something you would do often to interact with fans.

you would post a picture while filming, and reply to a few comments on the video.

@y/nslittleworld

Liked by verakeys, finnsphotography, tarayummy and 310k others. y/nslittleworld: this is how we're getting to colorado, by cart view all 4,381 comments.. verakeys: when i was pushing you inside the store i was so scared of an employee 😭 finnsphotography: pretty tarayummy: you guys r so hot!! brennen: pls answer my dms | y/nslittleworld: brennen for the last time i won’t be your girlfriend

y/nsbiggestfan12: she posted!!, new lock screen check! | y/nslittleworld: you’re adorable <3 i love my fans

team_y/n776: team y/n! she's so pretty!! | team_colby_brock: no she's not 💀she looks basic view 109 comments..

you giggled at your comment to brennen. it's a running joke on both of your channels that brennen has a major crush on you.

"oh god." you put a hand to your mouth, looking at all the replies arguing about which youtube channel is better. you hated how seriously all of this has become, you never wanted this many people hating on you on the internet but it seems like it was practically inevitable.

hearing a light knock on your door, you spotted milo looking at you. "hey just to let you know we're ready and waiting."

"alright, i'm coming."

the roadtrip was long, uncomfortable and almost unbearable. you were only two hours in and you were tired. since you planned this, everyone demanded you drive, atleast until you get too tired. finn offered to take turns with you. "hey vera, can you pass me that five hour energy shot?"

she chuckled, passing it to the front.

the car you had was very large, it was like a family van. you bought it, knowing you'd need space for camera equipment, and people since you were a youtuber. the seats were down in the back, creating a bed like base. was it a little unsafe? possibly, but you were a very good driver so you were confident it'd be fine.

finn opened the bottle for you, and you took it, chugging the container in a few seconds. before making a screeching sound. "yuck."

as he put his hand up to move his hair out of his face, milo started talking. "so like, what's so scary about this place?"

"oh i have tons of stories." you chuckle, gesturing for finn to grab the camera and place it on the dashboard. "hey guys! we're about two hours into the drive, and i think it's a good time to share why the stanley is so haunted." you smile.

"me and y/n did a lot of research and took some notes." finn shows the paper he's holding. "because she's driving i'm going to do most of the explanation this time."

he places the paper infront of him. "okay so first." he looks back to his brother. "ya'know the shining? like the movie."

"uhh yeah i think so." he shrugs. "why?"

"well the shining was created by stephen king, and it's based on a dream he had while staying here." "he had crazy dreams and feelings from the hotel. there's many different spirits that reside there."

"yeah like room 217, the most haunted room in the hotel. it's haunted by a spirit named elizabeth wilson, she was the hotels head housekeeper and didn't die in the room, but got injured during a storm in 1911, and now she chooses that room to stay in." you pip in, while turning.

"there's the vortex, which as you all know." finn looks to the camera. "is those mirrors facing eachother, creating a kind of portal, or 'rapid transit system' he repeats from his notes.

"also the concert hall." he continues. "if you watched our video from last year, you'll know we did a throughout investigation in the concert hall, where a young spirit called lucy lives. she basically froze to death outside after getting kicked out by janitors in super cold weather."

"i really recommend you guys go check out our first video about the stanley, because we give tons more information about the hauntings." vera says to the camera.

"i'm thirsty." milo groans.

the group laughs at him, you grabbing the camera and turning it off. finn throws a waterbottle into the back, not looking. it ends up hitting milos face, earning a scoff. "watch where you're throwing things."

finn just rolls his eyes, trying not to laugh. "sorry brother."

you chuckle at the sibling behaviour, before sighing looking out ahead at the road. "this is so tedious." you yawn.

finn laughed, before asking if you were okay to drive. "yeah, i'm okay. you guys should try and get some sleep! i'll pull over and wake finn up when i need to switch. but for now, really get some z's."

"you don't have to tell me twice!" vera announces, sinking into her blanket.

"i won't purposely try and fall asleep but if i do, wake me up the second you need to okay?" finn said, earning a nodd from you.

as the sun set fully, the dark began to set in. it was honestly pretty nice. there were no cars on the road, and occasionally anytime they went through a town there would be plenty of lights. it felt calm, rather than scary.

you felt like you were preparing yourself for the stanley. you had been once before, about a year and a half ago with just vera and finn, and your experience was crazy. so many noises, feelings, stuff moving around.

you loved the paranormal so even though places were crazy, it was fun. you were nervous about milo coming, knowing he didn't believe in ghosts, and from previous experiences in videos. you were scared about him disrespecting whatever was in the hotel.

you just hoped he'd be respectful, because this kind of stuff hit you hard. you've had tons of paranormal experiences ever since you were a kid.

you yawned, keeping your eyes on the road.

suddenly the car was lit up, you glanced down to your phone that was sitting in the cup holder. you had an instagram notification from tara, one of your youtuber mutuals.

you wouldn't exactly consider her a close friend, but you've gone to tons of partys with her. because of tara, you had met jake who was friends with sam and colby.

you actually really liked tara and jake, they were cool and really nice. you slowed the car down, pulling onto the side of the road to look at the notification.

she had messaged you a longish message.

tarayummy: hey girl, just wanted to ask if you knew that jake and the guys are going to the stanley tomorrow? i saw your tweet about going and wanted to warn you

y/nslittleworld: oh shit what? did they say that publicly? i had no idea they'd be there

you began to panic, you were clueless about the guys coming to the stanley hotel. what if they think you copied them?

tarayummy: no they haven't told their fans yet, jake saw your tweet and told them about you being there, so i thought it was fair i did the same

y/nslittleworld: thanks for the heads up! i'm about to start driving so i'll talk to you later :)

tarayummy: okok, have a good trip

about 4 hours later, you had to quit. your eyes watering from how bad you needed to sleep. you gave finn a nudge, and pulled over.

thankfully he was happy to help, and told you to rest while he drove. you were out like a light in seconds.

you woke up much later than you thought, it being around 7 in the morning. you stretched out, eyes opening to the bright sunlight hitting the car. yawning, you turned to finn, who was slumped into an uncomfortable position, driving the car.

"hey." you smiled, rubbing your eyes. "need me to take over? i didn't mean to sleep that long." you chuckle.

"no it's okay, i've got this." he said back, taking a sip of his monster.

"okay well, don't be too stubborn, let me know when you need to switch again."

he nodded.

"where are we?" vera asks, her voice raspy from waking up. with her arms over her head, she stretched, and cracked her back.

finn yawns. "close to colorado, we're in utah right now. about an hour till we're in colo, but 6 i think until we get to our hotel."

she groans. "we're so far away." "guys i have an announcement." you say, frowning. "sam and colby.. they're filming at the stanley today too."

"sam and colby?!" vera peeks up. "okay, okay i know this is bad for you but oh my god we're going to meet sam and colby." you and finn looked to her with confused faces.

"since when were you 9 years old." you say, rolling your eyes at her fangirling. this was your borderline competition, she can't be excited about the enemy.

"for real." finn adds, continuing to drive.

hours later, you four realized you were an hour behind schedule so you just decided to check into the stanley hotel early. you had room 217 and 401 reserved, luckily.

you wondered where sam and colby were staying.

you carried two bags into the main room you wanted to stay in, which was 217. "guys, hurry up." you rushed them, waiting for them to follow you.

finn nodded, grabbing his and veras bags, her and milo following close behind. "i'm excited." finn states.

"me too actually, last time it was crazy! i'm excited to see what happens." vera smiles to him.

"this camera equipment is so heavy." slowly one of the bags starts to fall from your grip.

"i got it." milo rushes to your side, grabbing the bag. he smirks, now hip to hip with you. you smiled back awkwardly.

you weren't the biggest fan of milo for multiple reasons. the way he treated vera, and what he does behind her back. like smirk, wink and touch your shoulder unwantedly. it made you uncomfortable everytime but you brushed it off as just his cocky flirty personality.

"this is our door!" you call out, setting the bag down temporarily to unlock the door with the key. milo pushes open the door, holding it open for you.

everyone shuffles in and puts their bags down onto the floor. "okay." you sigh, relieved.

"now what do we do?" vera asked, looking around before jumping on the bed. "woo!"

"i'm thinking change, and we go check out the bar, maybe get something to drink and eat?" you offer up earning nods from the group.

"yes please." finn moans at the thought of food.

as you four make your way downstairs, you start to hear loud male voices. you pause, holding your arm out so nobody comes down. you listen, hearing jakes voice.

"sam, colby, jake and corey are at the front desk." you whisper.

"be non chalant." milo shrugs, walking infront. you all follow him down the stairs, like he was a bodyguard.

you adjust your tank top, pulling it up, and uncreasing your baggy jeans.

immediately you see the four guys, standing and talking to the camera. jake notices you first, eyes widening before waving. his wave got the attention of the rest of the group and they turned to see you four walking to the bar.

the four guys were looking at your group.

you accidentally lock eyes with colby, before his trail down, clearly checking out you. eventually you're walking out of sight and his eyes follow you. "i can't believe she's here on the same day we are." he mumbles.

sam took a step away from the group, glancing towards the bar. there you were, giggling with your friends, sipping a drink. even though your fanbases rivaled, he was a huge fan of your channel, and loved your content.

"i know, it's crazy. what are the odds?" he chuckles, sending a polite smile your way when you notice him staring. 'odd' you think to yourself.

"what if we did a video with them." he suggested.

"dude that would be sick if we teamed up." jake agreed with the other.

colby stared at them with wide eyes, wondering what the fuck they were thinking. "guys, no fucking way." he said. "sam what has gotten into you. don't you remember that she hates us? and vice versa."

"she's not even that bad, all she did was block you on instagram." he shrugged.

"what did you do brother." corey shakes his head in disappointment.

"all i did was make a dumb joke last year, and she blocked me." colby shrugged, frustrated.

"that's such a half truth." jake called him out. "you literally made a sexist joke towards her and didn't apologize, and your fans sent her death threats and you didn't do anything about it."

sam and colby looked to eachother, not even knowing about the hate messages you were receiving because of them. "shit really?"

"there's no way you didn't know. her instagram dms, comments, youtube comments are full with hate from toxic fans." jake pushed.

"i really didn't know." sam said, putting his hands up, grimancing. "i should go over there and apologize." he began to walk towards the bar before colby grabbed and pulled him back by his arm.

"dude no, that's so embarrassing." he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "besides, she's being dramatic over a dumb, obvious joke i made." colby tried to explain what he thought was right. "i didn't do a single thing to upset her, it was a joke." he defended.

"what is up with you." sam shakes his head, not recognizing his best friend. he sounded like an asshole, and he couldn't figure out why.

while in reality, colby was just embarrassed for making such an ignorant joke... an ignorant joke to someone he actually looked up to. both sam and colby had been privately watching your videos, honestly getting inspired to make their own content.

"yo, are you guys good to check in? i might go say hi to y/n." jake said, ignoring colby's eyes.

"actually can i come too? i'd like to meet her, and apologize." sam asked.

"i feel left out, i want to meet her too." corey said.

"okay, we're going to y/n, you can come if you want i guess." jake says towards colby, before they began to walk away.

"yo, y/n!" jake called out, walking in your direction. you turned, just expecting jake, shocked to see corey and sam following behind him.

"hey jake!" you smiled, hopping off the barstool to hug him. "i've missed you, it's been awhile." you sayy, sitting back down, before hesitantly looking to the other guys.

finn looked up from his phone, seeing them surround your area. he made sure to keep an eye out for you while vera and milo were drinking a few chairs down.

"it really has." he sat down on the chair next to you. "this is uh sam and corey." he gestures towards them.

"oh hi, what's up." you sit their awkwardly, doing the so called white person face out of awkwardness.

"hey, i'm corey." he holds out his hand, you give it a little shake.

"good to meet you." you smile, sensing his chill personality. you are then met with sam, him standing there awkwardly, trying to figure out a way to apologize to you.

you being socially awkward and hating the silence, speak first. "it's uh cool to finally meet you." you nod, avoiding eye contact with him, not sure on how he's feeling about the situation.

"it's awesome to meet you too, i'm a fan of your content." he smiles, making you surprised and flustered, not expecting that.

"wow really?" you giggle. "i could say the same thing about your channel." you take notice of one boy missing and glance around. he notices your wandering eyes.

"colby's uh.." sam trailed off, looking to the check in desk, before realizing he wasn't there. he felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped back, before realizing said boy was right behind him. "right here i guess." he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

"we were just looking for you brother." corey says, grabbing his shoulder.

"i uh put the bags in the room, it's a pretty nice room actually." he says to his group, trying to not even look in the direction of you. you notice the behavior and spin the stool around, to talk to finn about exploring.

you hear the guys murmur, not exactly sure what they're saying until you hear a groan and a sigh.

"yeah i'm thinking we take a look around at the hotel right now while it's light out, and visit our other room." finn said, taking out a map of the hotel, since it's been awhile.

"i agree, sounds like a great idea." you nod.

"hey y/n." a voice says from behind you. you turn to see sam again. "would you be down to do a collab or something for atleast a part of both yours and our series?"

hesitantly, you pause, looking towards finn. "what do you think?" you give him a confused face, so he's aware you're not sure of the idea.

he also makes a face.

sam clears his throat. "it's totally okay if not, no pressure." he smiles.

you nod slowly. "i guess we could." you shrug, sipping more of your drink. "what do you have in mind?" out of the corner of your eye you see vera and milo make their way towards you, the latter glaring at the guys infront of you.

"what's going on here?" he asks, leaning on the bar.

"oh hey. this is sam." you introduce him, them shaking hands, milo's cleary very stiff. "he want's to do a collab with my channel."

he raises an eyebrow. "anyways, we're doing a seance later, so i thought maybe if you and your friends wanted to join it?”

you sigh. “i dont know, seances are very powerful and not to be disrespected. i would only agree if you guys were doing it properly, no jokes, no mocking.” you said seriously.

“i mean we can try our best, but when we’re scared we tend to joke a bit, im sure we could take it more seriously.”

“i.. i don’t know.”

“here well i’ll give you my number just incase you change your mind.” he smiles towards you. you nod your head, handing him your phone.

he gives it back and you slide it into your pocket. “hopefully i’ll see you later.” he looks proud of himself as he walks away to the guys. jake waves to you, before they’re out of eyesight, probably going to explore.

you blush slightly at his kindness. before finn nudges you with his elbow and raises his eyebrow.

“what was that about? why are you blushing.” he interrogates you, making you blush more.

“he’s cute.” you shrug, trying to lessen your large smile. “and he just exchanged numbers with me.”

everyone decides to finish their drinks before they go anywhere. you were pretty surprised and happy about the events of a few moments ago.

you had been trying to squash whatever was previously between you, sam and colby, so this was a good start. you were pretty flustered when vera and milo started asking about the blush on your cheeks.

sam on the other hand, when his friends, mainly jake questioned him about you, he was holding himself together, not showing any weakness. “what are you guys talking about.” he shakes his head at the claims of him liking you.

“that was so flirty of you brother.” corey points out, smirking at him.

“are you guys gonna bone.” jake jokes, making a weird voice.

“ew, dont say that.” “thats weird.” sam says, shaking his head once more.

“she is pretty hot.” colby comments, looking at her as he walks away.

“colbyyy.” corey calls out at him. “don’t be a weirdo, bro.”

sam huffed at his friends childish behaviour, but to be fair if the roles were switched he would probably tease them about it too.

if he was being honest, you were really cute, and he loved your personality. every video you’ve made, he’s watched and not just watched, enjoyed.

he’s wasn’t following you on any socials, but he always checked up on them every week or so. he was well aware of your fanbases rivalling, and he was obviously there when colby made the comment about you and he remembers in a video of yours when you said that you disliked the duo.

after hearing that and seeing you block colby, he assumed you wouldn’t want him following you either.

but after what jake said, he realized how shitty him and colby had been. he couldnt believe all the hate you were getting on twitter. when jake showed him, his mouth was wide open, shocked at how horrible their fans were being to you.

the worst hate comment he had gotten from this whole situation was a few of your fans saying you were better then him. and he was used to comments like that from the traphouses prank war.

he felt horrible, and wanted to apologize, but he felt weird doing it with everyone around him which is why he wanted to see you again, so he could say sorry in a private setting.

and he did have to admit, that he just wanted to talk and see you again too. he definitely had a crush on you, and has had one for atleast a year now.

your style, your personality it was just above and beyond what he was attracted to. one problem.. he could tell colby thought the same as him.

the boy would never admit this, but sam remembered one time a few months ago where he came over, and saw you on colby’s tv screen. he had been binging your channel on a thursday night.

it was clear he liked your videos, and content because a week after you uploaded a video, he copied the point of it and did his own verison.

sam encouraged him to apologize or talk to you but he was being too arrogant and full of himself. he didnt want to seem like he was in the wrong, even if he was. (which he knew he was)

“so you invited her to the seance?” colby asked, as they walked around outside.

“yeah, she said she’ll think about it.” sam replied.

“i hope she does, she seems cool, id like to get to know her.” corey said, genuinely liking your clothing style and hair. he thought it made you unique, and in the best way possible.

“her group is also going to explore soon so we might see them around.” sam added.

“great.” colby rolled his eyes.

“brother, if you just apologize, it’ll be fine. y/n is so forgiving. trust me, before i knew her i spilt my drink all over her outfit at a party. she was so cool about it.” jake said, trying to explain how chill you were.

“it’s not that easy.” he scoffed, frustrated at this dumb feud he caused between the two of you. but to be fair, he still thought you were too dramatic about it.

“whatever colby.” sam shrugged, before pulling out his camera and updating the viewers about the concert hall they were going to explore.

you, and the three others finished what you were doing at the bar, and headed back to your room to unpack a few items, mainly stuff to film with and use.

you had the spirit box in hand. you were really excited to use the estes method, because you hadn’t tried it before, and finding out it was invented here at the stanley was crazy.

finn grabbed the emf reader and walked with it around the room. it blinked to the first level before staying grey. “mm nothings showing up, we’ll definitely retry it later.” he says to the camera.

"the emf is one of my favourite devices, it'll either be neutral or just going off like fucking crazy." vera says, scrolling on her phone. "oh also y/n, you're trending on twitter." she says carelessly.

"what?!" you exclaim rushing over. trending on twitter was almost always a bad thing so you panicked as you pulled the phone from her.

you read the headline. "famous youtuber, y/n photographed in etes park, colorado by fan." "huh." you scroll under #y/n, and see a picture of yourself at a gas station you stopped at on the way.

"that's not creepy at all." finn murmurs.

"yeah like what the hell, the fan didn't even come say hi or ask for an actual picture." vera says, with a slightly disgusted face.

"maybe they were just nervous." you shrug. "thank god i'm not cancelled or something." you chuckle, anxiously.

"what would you even be cancelled for? being too nice?" milo gave a rhetorical question, making vera laugh.

"no really though, what would i get cancelled for." you thought aloud.

"definitely murdering someone." finn replied, before snickering. "you scare me when you're angry."

"heyy, i'm not that bad." you said, rolling your eyes.

"you threw a book at me when i didn't do the dishes!"

"it was your turn! you are supposed to do the dishes once a week! once! i do it five times a week! they were there for 2 fucking days!" you shout, jokingly frustrated.

"i forgot!" he defends, chuckling to the camera. "this is what i go through on a daily guys." he says for sympathy points to the viewers.

"should we start exploring?" you ask.

"hell yeah." vera grins, putting on a sweater.

"okay guys." finn hands the camera to you. "we are now going to the other room we reserved, room 401 and hopefully we'll hear children laughing."

it had been about thirty minutes, you holding the emf reader, slowly walking around the room and asking questions. vera was looking out the window, spotting the guys from earlier, milo was watching you with the emf, curious on how it worked, and finn was editing a video you had filmed a few days ago.

nothing had been happening, so everyone was just relaxing.

but suddenly, the emf reader went to orange, you dropped it out of fright, everyone looking at the device going off. "holy shit." you mutter.

"is there someone in this room with us?" finn asks, looking up from the laptop.

the emf went green, before boosting up to orange again.

milo's eyes widened. "woah."

"are you a child?" the question made the device turn off.

"are you a maid? or one of the-" it shot back to orange.

"this has never happened before." you say to the camera. "this has been the only time that the emf and the questions have been spot on."

it was about 30 minutes later, and you were leaving the room by yourself. everyone was a bit tired as well as bored, and decided to chill out. it was about 8 now, and you checked your phone as you were walking around the hotel.

you realized sam had messaged you a few minutes ago.

sam from the bar: "hey! just checking in. if you're free, us four are about to go into the concert hall if you and your friends want to join."

sam had been waiting for a reply, looking at his phone every few seconds, before sighing and putting it down. just as he was walking into the doors with colby, corey and jake, his phone vibrated. "guys wait!" he called out.

y/n: hey! i'm totally down :) the rest of the crew is napping in our second room rn so it would just be me, is that cool?

you didn't have to wait for a reply, him texting back immediately.

sam from the bar: yeah that's awesome, we'll wait for you outside the hall

you began your walk outside, quickly realizing you should've brought a sweater, the wind nipping at your exposed shoulders and neck. you saw them in the distance and waved.

sam took notice of you, and smiled at your gesture, before waving back. he saw you were still wearing the clothes from earlier, and realized how could you must be. in this moment he wished he would've worn a sweater he could give to you.

he saw a smirk on colbys face as you made your way over, and scoffed quietly.

"hey y/n!" you heard from sam. you quickly rushed over and you stood infront of him.

"hey sam!" you gave him a light side hug, before looking to the others. "so, are you guys ready to meet lucy?"

"no." corey fake cries.

as you begin to walk in, you trip up the stairs, colby snickering, before making a comment. "watch where you're walking princess." he rolls his eyes, stepping by you.

sam holds his hand out for you, helping you up before giving colby a face, as if to ask why he was still being a dick.

you tried to ignore him, and turned your flash on, looking around the concert hall. it was pitch black, and looked very creepy, everything neutral and dead looking colours.

colby and corey pointed out the mirror that had pictures taken in it, before a loud bang was heard. "what was that." jake turned to the area, before corey discovered a picture he took with a streak down the middle.

"that looks like a face almost." colby said.

"to me it just looks like something to do with the mirror, and the flash." you shrug, getting an annoyed face from the boy.

corey started taking more pictures, and a light turned off in the other room, getting colby's attention. everyone stood still, facing the room. "i have a horrible feeling about that room." he said.

in a few seconds everyone was running out of the building, from a picture that showed lucy peeking around a piece of furniture. sam looked at you before going back into that room with corey, trying to figure out what the shadow could have been.

you, colby and jake were sitting in the other room, jake distracted on his phone. you clearly caught colby checking you out, him watching you carefully.

"so where's your crew?" he asked, with a odd tone of voice.

"they are napping and relaxing in our room." you said, short and plain, avoiding eye contact with him.

"cool." he was mentally slapping himself. he had no idea how to start a conversation with someone, especially someone that he had offended. "are you dating that kid? the one with the dark brown hair?"

you raised an eyebrow. "that's not really your business, but no i'm not. he's my best friend. also his name's finn."

"he looks like a nerd." he points out, trying to joke, but only making you more uncomfortable. "that other guy though, looks like an asshole."

"he is. and that's milo." colby sees your face as you talk about him, making him curious. he watches as you shiver from the cold, and he sighs, taking off his sweater.

"you're so unprepared." he chucks his sweater in your direction, it hitting your eye. you wince, before scoffing.

"what the fuck." you mutter, rubbing it until the pain lessens.

"cmon princess, lighten up." he hums, finding amusement out of your annoyed face. he could tell you were getting more and more pissed off. "if you were smarter, maybe you would've worn a sweater."

"i'm not taking your dirty ass sweater." you throw it back at him, it practically slapping him.

he shrugs, seeing you shiver once more. "your loss."

as soon as corey and sam rush out of the back room, colby shuffles away from you, pretending to be on his phone.

"we need to leave." corey says, eyes watering. you all follow him outside, and look at the pictures he's been taking.

"jesus." you mutter.

sam stands right next to you, his arm touching yours. you visibly blush at the action, and take a small step away when colby starts watching you. "this is crazy." sam states, zooming into the picture.

"lucy is definitely calling you guys pussies." jake jokes, making you laugh.

corey refuses to go back in and eventually convinces the rest of the guys to go back to their hotel room. you agree, thanking them for inviting you.

as the others leave, sam stays behind a second. "you're really cool." he comments.

you gush at that, and giggle, trying to stop the red coming to your face. "thank you, you're cool too, i look forward to the seance, which i've decided to join."

sam grins. "awesome! we'll do it around 3am if thats okay with your guys."

"that's fine with them." you say, looking into his bright blue eyes. "you're a lot nicer than i thought."

"vice versa, you're so much more chill then i imagined."

"you imagined meeting me?" you say, jokingly pouting before laughing.

"i actually have, pretty big fan right here." he plays into the joke. it's silent for a few seconds, just the two of you looking at eachother.

sam tried to keep himself from looking at your body, finding it disrespectful since he just met you, but his eyes wandered slightly, the outfit you were wearing attracting him. the way it hugged your curves, it made him drool.

"you're really pretty." he huffs, slightly frustrated at how attractive you were.

you're absolutely stunned hearing that, your face clearly showing you were giddy. you knew both of you had been sharing little touches since you met, and been flirting very slightly but you didn't actually think anything would come from it.

"you are too, sam. you're pretty." you say back, making him smile.

"can i kiss your cheek?" he asks. your smile is unbearably large, it starting to hurt.

"yes, you may." right as you say that, he kisses your left cheek, his hand lightly hovering around your waist. his lips were on your face, so close to your own.

you were never one for kissing on a first date, so only just meeting this guy, talking to him a few times and letting him kiss your cheek was crazy.

you honestly wished he would've asked for a real kiss. you definitely would've said yes. his lips leave you, his breath hitting your neck. "i think-"

right as he began to talk, a loud shout came from a window on the top floor. "sam, hurry the fuck up!" colby yells, smirking. it was like he was watching for the correct moment, wanting to interrupt.

sam sighs, his head dipping. "i'm sorry, i have to go." he rubs the back of his neck anxiously.

"it's okay." you say, still smiley. "thank you for the kiss." you look back up at colby and you can see him still looking. you propped yourself up on your tippy toes and gave him a quick kiss, before walking into the hotel, him following slowly.

he didn't know why but he was obsessed with you, watching from the window. he couldn't take his eyes off of you. and when he saw you kissing his best friend, he felt irritated. (from his angle it looked like you were actually kissing sam)

he honestly felt like some kind of stalker. he sighed, from the window, shaking his head. you were making him crazy.

as you got back to your room, you saw your friends asleep. milo and vera were on either side of the bed, and finn was sleeping on a foot rest. you grimanced at that, and woke him up. "dude, that cannot be comfortable." you laugh quietly.

he groaned. "it's not. this sucks." he looks over to vera, sleeping peacefully.

"wanna go to the other room?" you ask, he nods.

both you and finn walk to the other room. you both moan once you lay on the bed. it was so uncomfortable after standing and walking around the entire time. "god this is the comfiest bed." you say, stretching your arms.

"i agree." "so how was the concert hall?"

you blush, remembering what happened. "sam kissed my cheek." you whisper, him getting up and looking at you.

"no way! really?" he smiles for you, happy that you're finally having a chance at a relationship.

"it was so.. ahhhh." you can't even finish talking, before you throw yourself into a pillow, screaming into it.

"also at 3am they want to do the seance." you said, letting him know. he nodded and continued to lay down.

you quickly both fell asleep, sleeping peacefully. however you slept a lot longer then you anticipated. when your first alarm went off, you were shocked.

you had set a 2am alarm, so you could be ready for 3.

you didn't think you were that tired to nap for a few hours. you threw the blanket off of you and quickly realized finn was sound asleep next to you. you rushed to turn off your alarm, and once you did you watched him snore for a few seconds.

glad that he was still asleep, you got up and dug through your duffle bag, looking for something else to wear. you quickly changed into black baggy jeans, and a white tee. you grabbed finns sweater and put it on as your teeth began to chatter.

you were annoyed at yourself for forgetting a sweater, something you wore almost everyday. bored of waiting for the time to pass, you decided to take a walk around the hotel again.

as you're walking down the stairs, you hear a few children laughing. you jolt to look behind you, seeing nothing there. maybe it was just your mind playing tricks on you.

continuing your stroll, you see the bar closed, a few benches scattered around second floor. about to go sit, you see colby walking in your direction. "hey princess. didn't expect to see you here." he has that smug smile still on his face.

you, not wanting to deal with his arrogance turn away from him, and go sit on the bench. he follows, sitting next to you. "what? am i disturbing your 'me time'."

"yes, actually you are." you snap at him. you hated when people purposely tried to push your buttons. "i'm not in the mood for whatever you're trying to do." you sigh.

"i'm not trying to do anything, i'm just talking." he shrugs, noticing your sweater. he remembers seeing finn wear that earlier at the bar. "are you sure you're not dating your friend." he pinchs at the hoodie.

you pull your arm back away from him. "i didn't bring a sweater and i'm freezing. i already told you we were just friends."

"so you're single?"

you pause, thinking. maybe if you said you were taken, he would leave you alone. "i didn't say that."

colby raised his eyebrow. "so you're telling me your in a relationship but kissing my best friend?"

closing your eyes, you scoff. "can you just leave me alone. i don't understand why you hate me, and like i said, i don't want to deal with your bullshit."

he stops, genuinely feeling a bit bad. "i don't hate you." he says lowly, looking around the lobby.

you turn to him. "sure." you scoff. "first you make an asshole comment towards me, basically bringing down everything i've worked for, making it seem like nothing, then you and sam let your fans attack me, now when i actually meet you, hoping to squash whatever this is, you're being an asshole to me." standing up to walk away, he pulls you back.

"i don't hate you." he reassures, holding a tight grasp onto your arm. he looks into your eyes, with such a sincere emotion on his face.

you shake your head. "then why are you such a dick?"

"because i'm an idiot. okay y/n? i'm a fucking idiot. your channel, you, are so inspiring, and i'm intimidated by you. the fact our subscribers are so close, and your fans are loyal to you, it intimidates me.

he grates his teeth together. "because i know that you're going to beat us, and that our fans are going to like you better. because you're such a genuinely cool person."

"i made a dumb joke, and didn't want to admit i was wrong..." he trails off. "so.." "so i'm sorry." he finally apologizes. your eyes are almost watering from how deep that apology was.

"and.. i think i like you." he adds, his hand moving from your arm, lower to your wrist.

your mind was running a thousand miles a second. not even a few minutes ago this guy was teasing you, and you hated him for it. now he was confessing that he was in the wrong, and likes you.

what were you going to do? there was sam, a kind, cute and gentle guy, taking his time to get to know you, and then there was colby. an edgy, incredibly attractive, deep but bold guy.

you were leaning towards sam, he has been kind to you since the beginning.

but quickly, you weren't left with a choice in the matter. colby put his hand on your back, and pulled you into him, his lips touching yours.

you were about to pull away, but something about the scenario made you stay. kissing him back, you couldn't help but be attracted to him. he was bold, and dominant. it was obvious from the way he was kissing you, completely overpowering your mouth.

eventually you get ahold of yourself, and push him back, hands staying on his chest. "colby.."

"shit i'm sorry y/n." he pulls away, turning his back to you. "fuck." he mutters. "i'm sorry, i don't know what came over me." suddenly the tension in the air pauses, as his phone rings. he reads the contact.

"sam." he mumbles, before answering.

you sit there, listening, feeling guilty. you had no commitment towards the other boy, but god did you feel bad, like you had cheated on a partner.

"hey colby, where are you?" his voice comes through the phone.

"i'm just in the lobby."

"why are you in the lobby?" he asks, confused.

"i was just taking a walk since i woke up early. i've been reading a magazine down here." he looks to you as he lies to sam.

"oh, okay. well it's about to be three, so i'm gonna message y/n and invite them over to do the seance." you panic, looking to colby before running upstairs, to hurry and get to your room. he frowned, watching you leave.

you got to your room, opening and closing the door quickly. finn sat awake on the bed. "where have you been?" he saw the panic in your eyes. "y/n are you okay?" he gets over to you and looks at your face.

"colby kissed me.. and i kissed him back." your breath got shallow, and it felt hard to breathe. your chest was going up and down frantically.

finn knew you had anxiety, and he had dealt with attacks like this before. he ushered you onto the bed, and held your hand. "hey y/n it's okay." he rubbed your back gently.

as you breathing got back to normal you gave finn a large hug. "what do i do."

"what you want." he answers. "you owe nothing to either of them so, plus why are you trying to make up your mind right now? you just met them, silly." he continues to rub your back.

"okay." you breath, before a knock at the door makes you jolt. you check your phone seeing two messages from sam.

sam from the bar: hey, we're going to set up the seance soon sam from the bar: i'm gonna come to your room if that's okay

finn decided to answer the door for you, only having it slightly open. he saw sam standing there awkwardly. "hey man." he greeted him. "we're just getting ready."

sam nods. "alright, i'll wait here for you guys."

finn shut the door, asking if you were okay, you nodded. he noticed his sweater was on you, before rolling his eyes. he got dressed, and called vera.

she said she would meet at sam's room in the next 15 minutes.

you said hi to sam as you opened the door, and he started to talk to you about what was going to happen during the seance. finn was right behind you, listening to his explanation.

you saw vera and milo standing outside their door, vera in her pajamas, while milo was wearing a tank top and cargo shorts.

they waved at you and finn, vera giving you a hug. "i'm so ready for this." she says, excitedly.

"i know right." finn adds, earning a smile from her. milo just shrugs, still tired.

you walk into their room, immediately seeing colby sitting on the bed looking at his phone. right as he sees you he puts it away and looks at you to see what you're thinking.

you take a deep breath and start chatting to corey and jake about how they were feeling towards the seance. you glanced towards colby, seeing him whisper to sam before he pulled him out of the room.

you tried to stay calm about it, hoping the situation was unrelated to you.

colby stood a few feet away from sam, taking a deep breath. "what's up?" he asked, seeing the other looking nervous.

"i have something to tell you.."

as they were chatting, you continued to talk about the seance, and you asked corey about the safety precautions they were taking. which were none other than being saged.

"i swear to god if a spirit follows me because you guys are being stupid." you shake your head at them.

everyone assembles on the floor, sitting in a circle. finn sits on one side of vera, while milo sits on the other. you grimace at finn, him shrugging, accepting it.

sam and colby re-enter the hotel room, both looking smug. you let out a sigh of relief, assuming since they were both in a good mood, that they didn't talk about what had happened.

sam takes a seat on your left, while colby, your right. you look to him, seeing a smirk across his lips. you couldn't help but stare, thinking he looked so attractive right then, a bead of sweat falling down his forehead.

sam had his normal gentle smile on his face. "alright, are you guys ready?" he asked, looking to everyone around the circle, before leaning to spill the salt in a circle between the group.

you did honor of lighting a few candles, flicking the lighter. corey began to get really freaked out hearing little noises, feeling things, and noticing the candies moving.

"i have a really bad feeling." he was being really defensive, about doing the seance, refusing because he was thinking about what the physic said.

because of that, he decided to sit out, leaning on the window seat. you all began to hold hands.

sam reached his hand out to you, you taking it. it was soft but he was definitely nervous, the light layer of sweat giving him away. you then gave your other hand to colby, he took it quickly.

his hand was freezing, and more calloused.

you flinched at a sudden noise coming from the closet. corey stood up in awe, shouting. "what was that." "in the closet!" he stood up pointing. "dude! can we stop?"

"i think whenever we hear things it means we should keep going." jake comments, shuffling closer.

"exactly, what's the point of the video if we stop the most important part?" you say, looking into your camera placed next to you.

"yeah we're literally saying lets do this, then-." sam is quickly cut off by corey.

"i hate this crap." he goes to sit on the bed, and watches. sams hand rejoins yours, and everyone closes their eyes for a few seconds, preparing themselves.

sam says a few things, talking to the spirits, telling them they can't harm any of us, while noises in the room pick up. weird knocks from the closet and bangs on the roof.

he encouraged corey to open the door, before he sat back down again.

colby sighed, trying to get him to join the seance, his hand up to gesture with.

he placed it back down, but on your upper thigh, before giving it a squeeze. you lightly gasped at that, everyone too busy to notice. you shot him a glare, only making grip harder.

shaking your head, you noticed corey sitting next to him now. you took the hint to grab the boys hands again.

sam kept speaking, leading the seance, asking about their experiences so far in the night, and acknowledging their room was haunted by a cowboy.

colby spoke up. "you moved the lolipops, we heard you earlier while we were relaxing, it's not time to play games anymore, use our energy, show us you're here."

a candle's light blinked, spooking the boys, followed by more noises coming from the closet. you shivered, sensing something around you.

corey got scared, standing up, followed by colby. "i'm out." he said, hands up.

you gave him a look. "literally why." you rolled your eyes, earning an annoyed face from him.

jake agreed with you, wondering why they would quit after hearing what they wanted.

sam sat his hand on your lower thigh before moving it to your back, reassuring you in this situation. he knew you weren't scared, you were fearless, but he felt he should comfort you regardless.

eventually everyone sat back down again, vera this time quitting, going on her phone in the corner. finn following short after, taking this as a chance to talk to her one on one since they got here.

you close your eyes as noises began to happen again, and right as it's getting good, you get pulled back by sam, grabbing your arm. everyone but jake is rushing to the corners of the room, away from the closet.

corey rushed out of the room, leaving everyone behind. you ripped away from sams grasp, not wanting to follow. he sighed, before telling you he'd be back.

you walked to finn and vera, milo behind you. "this is crazy." he comments, looking out the window to see the guys filming.

"i understand being scared but genuinely what's the point of committing to a seance then disrespecting the spirits willing to talk?" you say, sighing, leaning on vera.

"i'm tired." you yawn, realizing the lack of sleep you've been getting. "to be honest i might go back to our main room."

vera, for once during the trip agrees with you, asking if she can come along. you notice how she avoids milo, even as he's asking her to come to the other room.

finn notices as well. he waits back a few minutes as both of you leave, wanting to talk to his brother.

you glance at vera. she looked upset. "you okay vee?" when she looks up at you, it's obvious she had been crying. "oh my god, are you okay." you grab her face gently.

"no." she begins to sob, pulling you in for a hug. "i'm so stupid y/n.. so stupid to think he would want me for something other than sex."

you comfort her on your way to the room, asking her what happened. "he's been talking to a girl he met in the lobby all day." she pouts. "he told me that he might go have sex with her.. not even 10 minutes ago." you hug her tightly.

"vera, it's okay. he's just a douchebag to not realize what was right infront of him."

"nobody is gonna love me the way i want to be loved." she pours out. you think for a minute, finn..

"vera.. i believe in soulmates okay? and i know you have one for a fact. don't get too upset over milo. we tried to warn you about his behavior, i'm sorry."

"it's okay. i was too blinded by his handsome face." she sighs, wiping her eyes. you feel a vibration in your pocket, pulling out your phone.

you see both a message from colby, and sam. you put it away, focusing on vera. "you'll get over him girl, look at you! you're so gorgeous, and funny, there's someone that will treat you like a princess."

you hear a knock at the door. "hey, it's uh finn." you look to vera, and she nods.

opening the door, you see finn with a already turning black eye. his left eye looked like something out of an action movie. "holy shit!" you shout, before covering your mouth, aware of the noise complaint you've already gotten.

"holy fuck." you whisper. "what happened?"

he shakes his head. "did something i should've done awhile ago. i punched milo." he says proudly, vera poking her head up. she rushes to him, wiping the slight blood away from his face. "andd.. he punched me back."

"jesus." vera exhales. "now why'd you have to go and do that?" finn looks to you, and gestures to your phone. you check the notifications from sam and colby, asking where you had gone.

"ohh." you said, getting the hint to leave. you smirk at him, pulling out a finger gun or two before leaving.

right as you step into the hall, there are the boys. sam notices you immediately, asking what happened. "just a little tussle between brothers over a girl, nothing much." you say. "how's corey? still being a puss?" colby snickers.

"yeah, but we atleast got him back into the room, so he's chilling out now."

you three stand in awkward silence, taking notice of how they look at you. you clear your throat before speaking. "i'm really tired." a yawn slips its way out of your mouth.

"us too. corey's already sleeping, snoring like a madman." sam says, making you giggle.

"it's so loud." colby rolls his eyes.

"i get that, finn snores sometimes. i can usually hear it from the other room in our apartment, boy does it piss me off." you relate to them, before they walk you to your room.

you open the door, looking in to see if milo was around. your eyes widen, seeing his luggage gone. "milo must've called a cab." you say, turning to them.

they both look at you with smug looks, like they had been for most of the night. "if you guys want, you can sleep in here to avoid the snoring." you offer. "but i'm going to fucking bed."

you walk into the bathroom, changing into some pajamas. by pajamas, you mean almost no clothing at all because you get too dang hot.

as you're freshening up you hear a few whispers. "we don't even know if she'd be into that." sam said lowly.

you yawn loudly, coming out of the bathroom.

the way their eyes watched your body.. it drove you crazy. you quickly took notice of their lack of clothes, while in your bed. very bold of them to think you'd let them sleep with you. it was a queen bed but is that really enough for three strangers.

"you guys are surely making yourselves comfortable." you point out, seeing the only space for you was in the middle of them.

sam rubs the back of his neck, apologizing anxiously. "sorry, we can sleep on the couch or something." colby rolls his eyes at his friends behaviour.

"it's okay, as long as you too don't make me sweaty i'll be fine." they look to eachother at that.

jumping into the bed, you get under the covers between them. because you were nervous about the situation, you laid stomach down, face into your pillow.

you would never get tired of this amazing bed, god was it comfortable. and having two attractive, shirtless guys on either side of you made it even better.

you felt the bed dip as they came closer, colby touching you first, his finger trailing along your side. "i like this outfit." he mumbles close to your ear, making you melt.

the feeling of his hand caressing you was something out of a movie or book. it started from your arm, down to your waistline, his finger rubbing light circles between your waist and shorts.

"it's pretty." sam comments. you giggled, clearly seeing how different both of them are. to you, it seemed like colby was teasing you and trying to turn you on, while sam was making you feel like the most important girl in the world. and woah the combination of it made you flustered.

"thanks." you say into the pillow, making colby chuckle. his hand slowly going to your ass, you breathed shakily as it happened, but let him.

and in seconds, he was taking a handful and squishing it, massaging it, whatever you want to call it. he was obsessed with your ass. you propped yourself up slightly, turning onto your back just to frustrate him.

you watched his eyes flicker as he couldn't touch that part of you anymore. your lips were slightly stuck out, pouty almost at the heat you were feeling. "fuck y/n, you're so hot." he blurted out, not regretting it.

you looked to sam, trying to tell his reaction with how dark it was. you couldn't decipher what was happening, and if both of them were coming onto you. it seemed like they both talked about it before hand, and now just needed your permission.

you locked eyes with colby, his hand coming to your neck, and lighting hovering over it.

gulping, you lean back a bit, hesitant. he notices, and goes back to touching your side. "he's right. y/n you're the most gorgeous girl on this planet."

colby didn't like sharing your attention, pulling your face to look at him gently. his eyes flickered to your lips, and you nodded.

his hand slid behind your head, holding you in place as his tongue explored your lips. you kissed back, feeling how passionate he was. his body moving in a rhythm. as he pulled away slowly, he looked at you hungrily.

sam took this as an opportunity. "can i kiss your neck, y/n?" he asked, you nodding frantically. the way you felt right now, it was almost unbearable.

he started kissing your neck area, sucking and biting at your skin. you hoped he didn't leave any marks.. but secretly you craved it, thinking about the way you would show off their lovebites.

you felt colby's mouth on you now too, licking down your stomach till your shorts. he lightly tugged at them, making you move to where he could pull them straight off.

he lightly trailed his hand around your thigh, getting closer and closer to where you wanted him. he moved, getting inbetween your legs, and licking up your thigh.

you let out a raspy moan at the combination of sam's mouth on your neck, and colby's tongue getting closer. once he heard you moan, he came back up to kiss you again.

"you sound pretty needy, princess." he comments, both of them taking back their touches, making you open your eyes.

you look to both of them, colby clearly confident in his teasing. "fuck i want to kill you." you groan, shaking your head as he chuckles.

[bitchinbarzal]

LULU’S MONTH OF

LOVE 💌

it's the month of love!

this prompt list has the same rules as normal, if you're not familiar please recap below;

when requesting please send in the full prompt and not just the number. this makes it easier for me, the writer. if you don't do this and just send the number your request will be deleted no questions asked.

you can find my list of who I write for here or you can send in for AU’s 💌 👼🏼

1. "I used to hate this holiday a much before I met you"

2. cheesy valentines proposal

3. "I knew these were your favorite flowers, so I had to get them for you"

4. "I don't need anything material, I just want a whole day to have you by my side and celebrate our love"

5. "really can't think of anything more romantic than officially dating my favorite person on this day"

6. "She's my tiny valentines!"

7. "He's my tiny valentines!"

8. "I haven't gotten a valentine's card since elementary school, but wow, this was my first real one"

9. Valentine's Day baby

10. "I love you so much for this but I am not cleaning up all these scattered petals later"

11. "is proposing on this day a bit too cheesy? look at the ring I got them, though"

12. "it's my first time having someone to celebrate valentine's day with. that makes it extra special!"

13. "in my defense, they didn't have a smaller teddy bear in stock. hope you have some space in your bedroom"

14. " promise it's a nice thing. just close your eyes and don't cheat!"

15. "it's so nice being able to call you my valentine"

16. "valentine's cards aren't outdated, right? it's something everywould would like to receive, right?"

17. "good morning! do you know what day it is today? по? well, guess you're in for a surprise, then"

18. "yes. yes, I'll be your valentine!"

19. "have the people who make these cheesy movies seen how real people spend valentine's day?"

20. "if we're gonna pretend to be a couple, you need to let me get you a bouquet at least. it's february 14th!"

21. "It's Valentines day today?"

22. "I made dinner reservations." "So did I. Surprise?"

23. "Supri- oh shit you're not [name]?

24. "There are flowers on the doorstep." "Who from?" "| think that you have a secret admirer."

25. "So is that a yes?"

26. "Hey, the movies made this look so easy!"

27. "You told me you wanted cliche, so I got you a teddy bear."

28. 'Im sorry, but have you ever looked in a mirror?'

29. Post-it-notes

30. "I've been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because I know you're going to look so good and I need to try and match up."

31. "Your lips are really warm."

32. "Why are you holding a blindfold?"

33. "This isn't how I pictured our first Valentine's day."

34. "You don't think you went maybe a bit overboard?"

35. "This reminded me of you."

36. "I never thought driving around could be romantic"

37. "do you love me or chocolate more?"

38. "Will you be my Valentine…forever"

39. "hi, my love."

40. "come on, we're going to be late!"

41. "you're so prettv..."

42. "well don't you look nice."

43. "how did you manage to do all of this?"

44. "whatever you want, it's yours."

45. "i must have done something amazing to deserve someone like you."

46. "you made this?"

47. " this our what? third year celebrating together?"

48. "you're beautiful."

49. " know you don't like chocolate so...i have enough conversation hearts to last us three months."

50. "you guys make me sick."

51. "we get it. you're in love. go make out over there or something..."

52. "be my valentine?"

53. "if you don't hurry up and ask them out, i will"

54. Taking your daughter on her first valentines date

55. "Wanna get a coffee with me?"

56. "Have dinner with me. Tonight."

57. "Do you want your present or not?"

58. "I guess we'll just have to share the bed."

60. "Don't tempt me."

61. "Admit it, there's something between us."

62. "I'm your secret admirer."

63. "Don't give me that look."

64. "Wait. Is this a date?"

65. "Wanna bet on it?"

66. "Come on... you know you want me."

67. "I need to tell you something."

68. "Can I kiss you?"

69. "Something tells me that you have a crush on me."

70. "You know you can't resist me."

71. "How can someone be so hot yet so clueless?"

72. "Any excuse to get me to undress, huh?"

73. "I'm in love you with you, you idiot!"

74. "In your dreams, darling."

75. "You know I'm a romantic at heart."

76. "This is the best day ever."

77. "You scrub up pretty well."

78. "Hey! You're on my side of the bed."

79. "I have a surprise for you."

80. "See? I can play nice sometimes."

81. "Please, don't leave."

82. "I don't believe you."

bitchinbarzal

83. "I'm not going anywhere, don't worry."

84. "Will you please just talk to me?"

85. "I didn't mean to upset you."

86. "Don't think I haven't noticed how you look at me."

87. "You're obviously in love with me."

88. "I think you're my favourite person in the entire world."

89. "Damn, you look incredible."

90. "Let's get you out of those wet clothes."

91. "This is... unexpected."

92. "Have you told anyone about us?"

93. "Let's make it official."

94. "Are you wearing a suit?"

95. "Your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner doesn't need to know about this."

[pbandjesse]

It's hard to admit this because I had been social war that I was going to be able to sleep over this year but I hate this. I hate it. I don't want to sleep here I don't want to be here. I want to do my job and go because besides CJ I have no friends here. I have co-workers who are nice to me but I do not have friends. I don't have anyone to hang out with. And I just feel very very alone and miserable. I'm not having a good time. I'm not particularly having a very good summer. And it sucks. So when I go home I'm actually able to have fun and do things and hang out with my husband and eat food that I like and take actual showers. And I promised CJ I would stay here tonight because I wanted to hang out with her and it is almost 9:00 p.m. and she's been busy basically since I was done at 3:30. And that's not her fault but I've been alone for 6 hours basically. And I'm just really unhappy. I like having a cabin so I can come and rest during the daytime. I like knowing that I have a spot where are my things are. But I don't want to feel like I'm forced to stay here and I just have to be honest about that because I'm almost in tears again I'm so unhappy. And at this point it feels like it's too late to go home because I would just be going home and going right to bed and that feels pointless too. Like yes I would get to see James for a few minutes but they go to bed by 10:00 so it doesn't even feel like it would fix any of the problems that I'm having tonight.

It wasn't even a bad day. The temperature was really nice. I did not like my outfit. I felt uncomfortable in my tank top. So I wore a hoodie for most of the day which was fine. I actually got some compliments on it. And I didn't sleep amazing which probably is adding to my stress in my brain. But I got up and James was there and I tried to be in a good mood even though it was hard.

We got ready to go and we went outside together. James helped me carry a few things and I had a nice drive into work. Me and James both arrived at work at the same time which I always love. And I got set up and I felt like things were okay. I would hang out my hammock for a while. I decided to go in one of the other hammocks for some change of scenery and I ended up feeling super comfortable so I think I'm going to be hanging out in the new hammock more often. You lay in it and it's a little flatter which is nice and a nice change of pace.

My group study were All excellent. We had lots of really cute bears and everybody got done and it just felt like we were having a really productive day. I am really running low on the medium and large bears so I would have one of my tipis girls later on the day organize them into size so tomorrow I'm hoping it's a little more quick and we can use up more stock so I don't have to cut anything else. And I enjoyed hanging out with the kids. It's still hard because I'm not really talking to any counselors. And I was just trying to have a good day.

Some of that good day was just not going to lunch. Just not going to the meal at all. And apparently the kitchen stuff has noticed. What dinner they were very surprised that I had shown up and they were like we didn't think we'd ever see you. You've been all over the place and I'm like yeah I know I've just been so busy and I've been going home. But for lunch today I would go to the office and eat the nachos that I brought. Actually only ate half of them so I could have them again tomorrow if I wanted to. The cheese sauce that I got was fine but I don't think I would buy this particular brand again.

I did not get to be a alone as long as I had hoped because Kenny and Louisa were in the office and Kenny had gotten hurt at the pool and had to go get a staple in the back of his head. He had been in the shallow end and a tile fell off the pool and hit him in the head? I don't really understand how that happened. But I gave them both a chip and they told me all about the injury and eventually I would head up to arts and crafts to just chill by myself there. I never made it to the cabin during lunch today I just decided I did not want to lay down and I didn't feel like I had enough time to anyway.

The afternoon was great. Day Camp was lovely. I did scare one of the counselors because their kids were not listening when it was time to clean up and I had to actually yell and I had never yelled in front of this counselor before and he fully jumped. He was like that was really scary. And I'm like yeah I don't yell so I save it up for when it is an actual needed situation. And your kids were not listening. And I'm glad that I can be listened to without yelling and I'm glad that when I have to pull it out it is taken seriously.

We had a good time though and everybody got to sew and I did remember to bring the cotton so we were able to refill the sacrificial sheep from yesterday and I showed some of the girls how you do a ladder stitch to close them up. And I was having a positive day. I was not miserable and I was chill and things were okay.

My kids doing awards would come to do more chores and I was like yeah that's fine fully expecting that their counselors will come back for them at 3:30 because that is when my last program ends. But they didn't. Stockade was there from 2:30 to 3:30 and we had a great time doing necklace stuff and then they were doing this game where they rate just random things from 1 to 10. Ginger ale is apparently at 2:00 for some of them and styles of art is a six. It was very strange to listen to a group of teenage boys for an hour. And the girls were just aghast at the level of conversation. They were like this is stupid why are you talking about this. And I'm like they're not hurting anybody. Let them live their lives.

But The girls would stay and they would work on their awards and their paintings and their projects and I was over in the hammock. Cuz I was basically only a little bit responsible for them but I still couldn't go anywhere. So I text their counselor. When are you coming for them. No response.

And then two girls from the SSC came to do their camp award project and I was like yeah that's chill you just got to work on it for at least a half hour so they started working on that and that would make them done around 4:30 which was perfect because CJ called me and told me that they should head to the barn at 4:30 for their project stuff. And I was like that's chill so then I was like okay tipis will get picked up at 4:30. Because Slim was coming to do a performance.

Nope that did not happen. I sent 7 text messages between CJ and the two counselors and no one was answering me. And I'm not going to walk all the way over to the council ring to see if the teepee counselors were there and I'm just like this is ridiculous and then I see one of the counselors walk across the field and I'm not going to chase them you need to come up and get your kids. And they weren't. Finally at 5:35 after taking the girls to the bathroom twice their counselor finally came back. And they were like come on let's go and didn't say anything to me. And then one of them would message me on Instagram and apologize but apparently the girls told them to come and get them after Slim and I'm like why would you trust them. Why would you not confirm with me. What if I would need to leave and also I had things I wanted to do I wanted to go take a shower I wanted to come down to the cabin but no instead I was just sitting with your kids for multiple hours and that sucks. That's not fair to me.

So I was not in a great mood. Once they were gone I would go to the lodge and I would tell Callie how I was feeling and she validated my concerns but she was really busy so I went and talked to the kitchen staff and that's when they were like oh my God where have you been. And we talked about my trip next week and how I won't be there and then I had pasta salad and potatoes for dinner. I sat outside and Aaron came out because his little brother was there with hognose snake that he just bought. Which I thought Heather said we were not allowed to have. So I'm pretty surprised about that. But it's cute. So I hope that he actually got permission because my understanding was that that was not allowed. But whatever not my circus not my monkeys.

I would go to the office next with Louisa. She had been sitting with me outside and she was like let's go work on stuff and I was like okay so we go over to the art building and we painted some of the wooden spoons for next week's project and I made a note for whoever ends up subbing for it and around 7:00 we went back down to the office because there was going to become ice tonight and if everything else sucked at least I would have that.

We had to wait for a while and during that time we were just kind of chilling and talking. Talk to alexie for a little bit talked to a couple people that came through and everyone's like you're here!? And I think it's funny because like usually I'm very involved but I just can't this year I just don't want to be here. It's not that I'm unhappy at camp. I usually love so many things about camp. But the Sears just been so hard. I just would like to feel like I'm not trapped. And I'm hoping after my vacation next week I can just have a good time the last few weeks of camp and not feel so sad. I really hope that I can pull that off because this is been tough.

Going to ice would have come now and I got sour berry something. Which was really good. But it did make my mouth blue which I don't like. But Louisa did share one of her special cups with me so that was cool and I would sit outside and watch all the other kids get their flavors and I got to hear about the mixes they make and everyone was having a good time. OB, the mini horse, got a haircut and they brought him down because he was going to be in the talent show tonight. And everyone kept asking me if I was going to the skip night/talent show because apparently someone is doing an impression of me. But I am just so absolutely not interested in doing that. I do not like skit night It always goes way too long. And the skits are fine but they should have a time limit. They are just entirely too long and no one ever talks about enough. And since I was here I have decided I should at least make the most of it and I went back to arts and crafts to continue to paint spoons.

I did that until the paint that I had mixed ran out and then I came over to our cabin. I washed my face and I put my pajamas on. I packed some stuff to take home and now the sun is going down. And the lightning bugs are coming out. And I'm going to go and lay in bed and charge my phone. Watch the rest of this true crime documentary and hopefully have a good night's sleep.

I'm really hoping tomorrow was just a really good and easy day. But all my groups are nice and the counselors are helpful and I can leave for a week knowing that everything will be okay when I come back. Because if I come back on this building and it is a disaster I'm going to be so sad.

Everybody have a great night tonight. Sleep well and take care of each other. Until next time.

[jodilin65]

TUESDAY, JULY 31, 2007 Last night I was so exhausted but too stressed out to sleep. I slept on and off in between wake-up calls till nearly noon, though. Thanks to people getting ruder and louder with each passing day, I have to sleep longer to make up for all the times they stomp and slam me awake. It’s just after 9:00 now, so hopefully in another hour, people will shut up for the night, not that I won’t have to get up with them at 8:00 in the morning when they bang on outa here. Ain’t God just grand? I miss the good old days of not being able to hear – or feel, for that matter – those in neighboring rooms. I just don’t understand why people have to come and go so much, or why they can’t simply close a door and not slam it. And why do they have to stomp rather than walk, and why do they have to stop and chat outside our window and not do it in their rooms or out somewhere? I totally envy Tom cuz at least he can sleep through this circus!

I decided not to bother changing rooms. I figured I’m so damn noise-cursed, that running wouldn’t do me any good since I could never hide. I’ll never again live in peace. I may never know why I don’t deserve to, but I know I never will. So it’s either drop dead or get used to it. I’ve lived in noisy places for more than half of my life now. It’s as meant to be a part of my life as it is for me to be short. Even so, I’ve had enough of the distractions, so while I can still feel them stampeding by, I can’t hear much shit anymore. I just wish I could sleep with these, but why would God give me even better sleep, right? The bigger question is, did He deny our request to get into that apartment to do us a favor in the end by letting us get a house, even if it’s a dumpy old tooth house? Or is it just to put us out even more and simply delay the apartment and its loud, rude, obnoxious inhabitants?

I’ll probably be up later tonight and end up exhausted again tomorrow, but as long as I can get caught up every 2-3 days I should be ok. I just wish I knew what was going on and when! When will he get a job and where will we live? How much will the job pay and how long must we stay in motels? My vibes still say we’ll be here till mid-September and that he’ll get a $9 day shift job. The only good thing is that I haven’t had apartment nightmares. Any dreams I’ve had have been in houses and I caught a slight vibe about a semi-dumpy house like the Phoenix one was, but didn’t see the size or what was around it. After living in such a tiny, dumpy house in the snow, I’d take a house like the Phoenix one in sunny, warm California any day!

But God doesn’t want me to live where I want to live. This reality keeps coming back to haunt me and dampen any hope of getting a house. He also doesn’t usually like us to have much money, so I won’t expect much over the next year or two.

Tom went to the DMV today and got a temporary permit so we can drive the truck, if it’ll let us, for the next 30 days in California.

That beauty basket isn’t all Suave products after all. There are things in it that Suave doesn’t make, from what I was told.

MONDAY, JULY 30, 2007 Motel 6…

We’re now at Motel 6, and this is the hardest room to sleep in so far. That’s because we’re on the second floor where I can feel everybody’s footsteps as they pass through the walkway that wraps around this corner room. We should’ve stuck to ground floors. That way we could still hear people’s attention-getting antics what with how aggressively they have to stomp and slam shit around, but we couldn’t feel it. The whole place vibrates when people go by. If I get woke up too much we’ll transfer to a ground floor.

The internet connection’s not much more reliable or faster here, so I can’t do much sweeping now. That’s ok cuz we’re not in a position to be dealing with prizes right now. We have too many other more important things to worry about, so if it’s not a check for a million bucks, we don’t need the hassle. As it is, I just learned that I won a $275 beauty basket which appears to be a bunch of Suave skincare products. Suave usually sucks, especially their shampoo, but it will still be interesting to see what they send. I have to fill out an affy I received by email, then print and fax it. Tom’s going to take this laptop, probably to the UPS store, and get it done there. They called too, and got me all psyched up for nothing. Usually, they call for prizes worth thousands, not hundreds.

Anyway, this room has two beds and pets stay free. He woke me up last night as he bumped into the dresser and it took me forever to fall back asleep. And I had just prayed for decent sleep during our homeless time, too. Funny how I always get the opposite of what I ask for. I don’t mind not getting the apartment I asked for, but perhaps I should start asking for chaos and poverty and all kinds of other bullshit. Maybe the only way whatever’s up there will listen to me is if I ask for what I don’t want.

There’s no refrigerator or microwave in here and the room is small, but there’s only one drape that stretches across the entire window so I don’t have to fight with getting the gap in the middle to close tightly. The colors are brighter in here, too.

People are storming by right now. It’s like the NHA in here! Thanks, God, I really need this shit in my life. Anything to remind me how I’m not meant to live in peace, right? We’re coming up to primetime soon, so I’m sure it’ll be quite an earthquake around here for at least a few hours. Hopefully, everyone can stay put after 10:00, so I can try to catch up on my sleep. And hopefully, they won’t go jumping about too early either.

The last place we stayed at was surprisingly quiet over the weekend.

After we checked in here around noon, I rested to the shaking of footsteps while he did the laundry. Then we went to Denny’s. I was starving, so I ate every bite of my steak and eggs and most of my fries.

SUNDAY, JULY 29, 2007 Back to my usual formatted headers now that I found where to uncheck the box that keeps the time and dates current.

Today’s going to be boring for the most part since there’s not much to do on a Sunday, but kick back and wait to check out tomorrow morning.

I managed to sleep most of last night, and Tom, who was kind enough to sleep on the floor and who said he slept really well even though I still feel bad for being such a light sleeper, said it’s been surprisingly quiet. That must be why I didn’t get woken up a million times. The noisiest thing so far today has been the housekeeper.

I can’t keep their damn internet connected here, so I can’t do much sweeping, and they don’t have a high-speed connection, so what I can do takes forever. I’m not in the frame of mind to work on stories right now, so I guess I’ll struggle with Netwinner and listen to music for most of the day. At least he’s got those damn car races to watch to occupy his time.

Tom walked through a different section of this area and said it was like a whole ‘nother world. Like there’s this invisible line that homeless people can’t cross. He said it was quiet, the kids were civilized, and it was just a very peaceful setting in general. We both agree that if our only choice is to rent an apartment, we’d rather rent from one of the mansions down here that have been converted into apartments, rather than in a complex, though to me, all apartments suck. We just don’t want to be on this main road where there are more stereos and sirens.

SATURDAY, JULY 28, 2007 By the time we arrived in Sacramento, we were both so exhausted. We were also greeted with what I took to be not a very welcoming situation, too. We parked at the Clarion, which was where we’d reserved a room for a week. By then it was chilly. We entered the lobby to see that all the employees were black, and it seemed that so were all the guests! I was like, what? Are there no white people in Sacramento at all? But as Tom pointed out, 2nd and 3rd shifts tend to have more minorities, and the loud, rude, obnoxious assholes next to what would’ve been our room, were traveling in groups for some sort of reunion or something. Just your typical rap-blasting, attention-getting blacks that don’t have a care in the world unless it pertains to them. So we went back down to the lobby, told them we could hear music blasting in our room, and were given a refund. By now it was past 11:00 and we had to hope to find another place to go.

I’ll admit things could’ve been worse. These assholes could’ve checked in after we did and other things could’ve gone wrong, but as usual, the truck is having various problems and it’s been tough enough. For one, we had to ride with no AC in the heat yesterday. I hope we can sell the piece of shit real soon. It may be normal for a vehicle to need work every few weeks or months, but not every few days! I just don’t know that we could get enough for it to buy something else. For a ’79 vehicle, it’s getting to be a bit of a collectible, but not much yet. Tom’s napping right now. Then when he gets up he’ll have a look at it to see if it’s a problem with the alternator, or if a wire loosened, or whatever. I just hope it’s not going to cost too much! We’ve already had to spend $60 for a new power cord, and other surprise expenses that crept up on us. I just wonder if he’ll be able to get it registered tomorrow as he plans on doing.

Anyway, we checked into a room at the Econo Lodge on our first night. Although it was too expensive and had no internet access, it was a great room. It was huge. It had a king-size bed, a double bed, and a loveseat. I didn’t like how it was by the pool, but it was empty for most of the two days we were there. I’d have gladly used it myself if I hadn’t been so damn exhausted, but I was beat as hell. I was too wound up to sleep right away, and of course, I had to be woken up a zillion times in the morning because no one can shut doors normally. Everybody has to slam them. So between people checking out and the housekeepers doing their thing, I dozed on and off during most of the first day while he got our stuff in storage. I offered to go and help him, but he insisted he’d be ok on his own.

He returned in the late afternoon, calves and feet sore as hell. By then I was perking up somewhat but still felt half-drugged. We were both starving after not eating all day. So we went to a nearby coffee shop, found it closed, returned to the room, and ordered room service from a restaurant which took 45 minutes to arrive.

Since we knew we couldn’t stay there, we left Tinkerbell in the truck so we didn’t have to pay for her. The Clarion wanted a ridiculous $100 for her, but this other Econo Lodge charges just $6 a night, and we couldn’t keep her in the truck forever. Keeping her in the front of the rental truck where the AC was running during the daytime and windows open to ventilate her at night was one thing, but we couldn’t keep her in our truck with it being nearly 100º out.

So we checked out of the first Econo Lodge yesterday at 11:00, which was on the edge of Sacramento. And I saw that yes, there are other whites, thank God! I wasn’t too tired, since fortunately, I was able to fall asleep the next night a little earlier than I thought I would, and ended up getting up at 9:30. Motels are no place to sleep in during the daytime, so I’m trying to stay on days as best I can. The noisiest hours are in the evenings when people check in, and then in the mornings when the housekeepers hit the scene. I’ve stayed in plenty of motels/hotels before the 90s and never heard a damn thing. It used to be people simply checking in and you never knew it. You never heard them banging around in their rooms and they’d never make such a big deal of slamming in and out. Perhaps there’s only so much the bamboos can do in today’s motels, but it’s still making me wonder if the extreme noise curse we’d been under for so long was kept off those two years in the dump by either the horseshoe or just something in particular about the dump itself. We’ll find out for sure when we get a place. It’s definitely noisier downtown, which is where we are now. More car stereos, but not as many as I thought there’d be with so many more people around. I’m surprised. Maybe they do ticket them here. Someone in Roseville, who I won a shirt from and had to give the new address, said they didn’t have a problem with them there when I asked. I guess it depends on where you go. The nicer the area, the less likely you are to have them.

Despite being downtown and despite beggars and people arguing here and there, it really is quite nice. We wouldn’t want to live here, but the trees and flowers are so pretty the way they provide so much nice shade. They make a canopy over the streets. The houses are older in this area. I think that’s why they refer to it as Old Town Sacramento. I don’t care for them, but they’re not nearly as dumpy as some of the K-Falls houses, and they’re nice and big, too. I wish we had our bikes, though. It’d be fun cruising around with them, and that way we’d be less likely to be pestered by beggars. One funny chick, who appeared to be a bit drunk or high or whatever, asked Tom for the time and told me I had pretty hair. She should try taking care of it! I should’ve cut it off before we started packing. It’s such a pain! It’s always in the way. It’s too long and heavy to put up in the heat. But I’m always too lazy to bother cutting it and figure that the best way to avoid a bad cut is to never bother to cut it in the first place. Yesterday, I wouldn’t have cared if someone shaved it off, though. Even in a knot, it was still smothering me, and we were driving around during the hottest part of the day.

Our first stop was the mailbox in Carmichael. I was really impressed with parts of Carmichael and its nicer homes and better-kept yards. The houses are still too close for comfort, especially if barking dogs are left in the yard next to yours, but the driveways didn’t run alongside the houses like they usually do in the west. I liked how they drove up in front of the houses. I guess if you have a garage, and most of the houses in Carmichael do, they run right up to the garage, but when you have nothing or just a carport, they run between the houses. Anyway, Carmichael seems to be a good place for those who want to be in the mainstream or who have no choice but to be, though I doubt we’d be able to afford to rent a place there. I’m sure we’ll be in an in-between neighborhood like we were in Phoenix with the freeloaders, car stereos and whatever else our lovely God sics on us.

After getting our mail, we went to the storage place to store a few more things to clear out the back of the truck, so it’s easier for him to see out the back window.

Then it was off to Walmart with kids behaving as they usually do – screaming, running around the place, mothers acting oblivious to it all, etc. We got the power cord there and a new pre-paid phone.

This was when we didn’t know if the truck would break down completely or what since we didn’t yet have the roadside assistance thing set up, and it seemed to take forever too, to get to the Econo Lodge we’re in now until Monday. This room sucks. There’s only one bed and the room is tiny. The internet access sucks too, because it’s wireless, and wireless is so undependable. I don’t know why anyone bothers with it. It keeps cutting out every few minutes. There’s no way I can sweep till we get something reliable and that can only be non-wireless. There’s no pool here, and it’s noisier than the other place. Tom showed me a better way to use the wax earplug so it seals up better, and it really does a surprisingly good job blocking out banging and bass, but I still can’t sleep with it because it loosens as I move.

I also liked how the AC fan in the other room kept running even when the compressor wasn’t.

I hope he’s right when he says he thinks we’ll only have to play motel for 2-3 weeks as opposed to the 2 months I vibe because having to sleep in spurts and to get my sleep shorted so many days in a row is a real killer. Monday we’re going to try this Motel 6 that says they’ve got non-wireless internet. Their ad says they have just one floor, but their picture clearly shows 3 floors. I’m sure it’ll be noisy enough either way. I just hope they have a pool and reliable internet service. At least I can now update this journal and charge my iPod. That’s a little louder than the laptop, believe it or not.

The good news is that we could survive at the cheapest motel on just the Unemployment, which he applied for online last night, and on a low-paying job, but I still hope I’m wrong in vibing he’s going to get a $9 job on days and that we won’t get a place for a couple of months. The question is, will that place be a rocking apartment? A noisy house? A tolerable house? A peaceful one? Well, God would never consider us good enough for a peaceful place anymore than He’d consider us worthy of having something decent to drive, so I’ll hope for a tolerable house but expect a wild apartment. Either way, I just hope he gets a job or the Unemployment before our money runs out!

There are a lot of Chinese restaurants around here, which is fine with me. I got some Chinese to go from a nearby convenience store, and later we’ll order a pizza.

My lungs have been ok, thank God, and my ear is about the same. Maybe a little worse, but so far it hasn’t been bad enough to take anything for it.

FRIDAY, JULY 27, 2007 So much for taking this thing to Italy! Not if it’s only going to run for 10 minutes. I’d rather take a pen and notebook and just get an MP3 player that’ll last longer to drown out all the screaming if they haven’t made baby Benadryl mandatory or do something to control the chorus of screaming by then. Anyway, I ended up taking notes so I wouldn’t forget things.

Before I get behind, let me go back to the trip down here. The scenery was gorgeous, but by the time we got to flatter lands, most of which contained farms, it was too dark to see much. It’s amazing how fast the climate/terrain can change! One minute we were winding our way through the Cascade Mountains and pines, the next we were on straight roads dotted with oaks and palms. I swear the temperature went up 10º in a second, too! It was so exciting seeing the first of the palms again, along with the oleanders and bougies. I missed them. I will never again live in a cold climate! There are definitely not as many palms here, though, as opposed to Phoenix and Florida, where they don’t have much choice as far as trees and plants go. I was surprised to see prickly pears here. I thought they’d drown in this place.

Both of us agree K-Falls sucked. It was just a nothing town with so little variety, stores, and the restrictive hours sucked, too. The same mailman I asked about Randy asked where we were going, saying he noticed that morning that we forwarded our address. Other than the mild summers, all I’ll miss is how everybody knows everybody. No other place that I can remember had such friendly mail carriers that’d stop to chat with you.

Like most of the west, we drove through nothing, then entered towns, and back and forth. Just under the border was Dorris, which looked like it could be K-Falls with their older, dumpier houses. They get just as much snow, too. Then in between nowhere land, we drove through other places like MacDoel, Anderson, Gunnison, Chico, and Yreka, where a couple of blacks were arguing by the street. It was neat seeing signs for San Francisco and even Los Angeles.

We stopped in Redding where it was well in the 90s and grabbed a bite at Burger King.

It got a little stressful when we smelled smoke and saw a handful of fire trucks while still up in the Cascades. Wildfires are common this time of year.

The farms we could see consisted of many olive groves, and those same melons they’d grow down in Arizona that attract all kinds of bugs at night. I thought it was raining for a minute, till I realized it was raining bugs on the windshield.

By nightfall, there were fewer cars and more truck convoys on the freeway.

THURSDAY, JULY 26, 2007 In the Motels, Econo Lodge…

I started to open my Oregon file, but then I said, wait a minute! I don’t live there anymore! Yes, I’m now in the right state, but not the right place. Oh well, at least I have the state and climate right, even though this is your typical annoying, bangy motel. It could be worse, though, and with the evening now setting in, it should quiet down soon enough.

After just 5 hours of sleep, we packed the truck from 8am-2pm yesterday. Because of a utility pole, we couldn’t park in front of the house without blocking Kim’s driveway, so we parked in front of next door. In front of their yard, that is. Kim was out during that last day. She might’ve seen we were moving and gone somewhere else to get away from the noise, although with her place being positioned as it was on the property, she wouldn’t have heard much.

We ended up leaving some stuff we didn’t have time to take to the dump, but since it was in a neat pile on the porch, hopefully they’ll still give us some of our deposit back after they take whatever they’re going to take for the carpet cleaners. We just left some old boxes and an old beat-up suitcase. I also left a $2 Baskin Robbin’s certificate we never used, and my dead date palm and dying ponytail palm on the porch steps. Maybe someone can use the pots they’re in. The bamboos rode by my feet to help protect us on the way down, and they did. No flat tires, no near-spills, nothing major.

Our feet were sore and we were tired, but we dropped off the cable box at Charter’s, turned in our keys, then hit the road. Actually, we hit the road after grabbing some munchies from Circle K where we met up with Kevin, the English guy Tom used to work with. He asked for his email address so they could stay in touch.

Twenty minutes later we were greeted by the Welcome to California sign with the California poppies on it. Tinkerbell rode between us in the cab of the rental truck but slept through most of the trip.

The GPS is way cool, but not always accurate. It’s still cool to be able to type in an address and have it tell you “turn left” or “stay on the road for 3 miles” and things like that.

For 3 hours we wound through giant pine-studded peeks and valleys. It was stressful driving for Tom because it was such a rollercoaster, though nothing compared to the trip up from Arizona. There were deer and bear-crossing signs everywhere. Mt. Shasta was as beautiful as ever, but once again, I didn’t get to take pictures of it. This time it was because I was dumb enough to forget to put freshly charged batteries in the camera. I’m just not meant to have pictures of it! We’ve both been forgetting and losing things like crazy amidst all the chaos. I misplaced the power cord to this laptop and now we may have to buy another one so we don’t have to tear through our stuff which is now in storage. He misplaced his passport, so hopefully he won’t need that for anything till he stumbles across it.

I’m about to lose my battery here. Gotta go!

TUESDAY, JULY 24, 2007 We spent the day loading up the moving truck. The apartment complex won’t take us due to bad credit without having a job first, thanks to the queen. So we’re off to a motel to either sink or swim late tomorrow morning! I can’t believe we failed to get an apartment! How could we fail to get something I’d hate and would never want? Could it really be because something’s doing us a favor by guiding us to a house instead? God, I hope so! But I know better than to get my hopes up too high. It’s just so weird, cuz it’s usually the things I do want that I don’t end up getting. So does this mean we’re in for something even worse than an apartment?

MONDAY, JULY 23, 2007 I started some of the prepping. I did the bathroom and got that out of the way, knowing that’d be the hardest room. Meanwhile, we’re waiting for the jury to return a verdict of either “you’re in” or “you’re not in.” Tom doesn’t think we’ll go broke if we get in, and he says he still thinks we might not if we don’t. I think we’ll definitely go broke in a motel, and that getting in would certainly lessen the chances, but not guarantee it.

My first thought about having to play motel was that that’d not only be a major inconvenience for us but up our chances dramatically of going broke, till I realized it could be a good thing. It’s a hell of a long shot, but having to go to a motel may give us a chance to skip the apartments altogether and get a house. Most of the houses listed online are by property management companies and they require you to make 3 times the rent. But Tom said that the individuals renting places that don’t go through management companies don’t usually have the money to advertise online. Instead, they put signs up or run newspaper ads, and they don’t usually have such high standards for renters.

I still have to believe God wants us to live in noisy places. The question is, can we live in one that’s noisy, but tolerable like this place is? Or do we have to go back to the maddening extremes? I guess it’ll depend on if he wants us to suffer financially or not, or just listen to people’s shit.

SATURDAY, JULY 21, 2007 Tom’s running some errands right now and I had thought I’d save my updating for the road, but I don’t want to get too backed up. I also may be too excited and stressed to concentrate on writing on the road anyway and wanting to take in the magnificent scenery. I can’t wait to see Mt. Shasta again!

It doesn’t look like next door’s moving after all. They cleaned up the trash and planted a garden and didn’t party at all last night, according to Tom.

The good news, although it’s not etched in stone yet, is that we may not have to do motels after all. We got a UPS mailing box in Carmichael and we might have a 2-bed/2-bath, 2nd-floor apartment that’s 900 square feet and $805 a month, in neighboring Citrus Heights. I like these towns because they have almost as many whites as opposed to off-brands as K-Falls does. It’s the Summer Hill complex, and it sure seems a lot fancier than any of the complexes I lived in in Phoenix. They don’t have washers and dryers in the apartments, but they’ve got laundry rooms, pools, spas, clubhouses, fitness rooms, tennis courts and basketball courts. No playgrounds for kids, so it makes me think there are not many of them there if any at all. Hopefully, if there are, they’ll spend time at the tennis and basketball courts.

The last thing I want is to live attached to others again, but it seems to be as good as an apartment complex could possibly be for a light sleeper who’s not always on the same schedule, and who works at home, wanting peace and quiet. For now, I’m trying to stay on days as long as I can till we get settled.

We should know for sure by Monday if we’re going to get in. It would make things so much easier on us if we could, and it might even prevent us from extreme financial troubles as we had coming here. Could God be that nice to us for once and compensate us for the disaster we went through coming here? I hope so! I’m still doing my little prayer experiment, praying for good health, no money problems, no neighbor/noise problems. Over the next month, I should know if it’s paid off at all.

We just have to hope that MCX and AAA are willing to give us good references, though we don’t see why they wouldn’t. More so, we have to hope the queen and the black sicko don’t go fucking things up for us. We still don’t know what would appear on any background check they did on me. I got into this place ok, but did they even bother to check? They have a time limit on misdemeanors, which is good, but we still don’t know what our credit report may say. Those problems didn’t really finish playing out till after AAA took us in.

I went through the pain-in-the-ass job of changing my Robo passcards and updating account information at various sites at which I have a membership.

I finally got to redeem points for a $100 Walmart card too, so now I’m back down to 38,880 points. Hopefully, I’ll get my first card without any problems. If so, then by the time I do, I should be almost ready for another card! Rent.com is going to give us a $100 Visa card for getting a place through them if we really do. It looks promising, but there are no guarantees. It’s a fourplex, so like I said, it’s as good as one can get for an apartment. I don’t know what the outside noise will sound like, but this way we’d only have whoever was under us, plus part of the one sidewall that’d be shared in the area where the stairwell wasn’t present.

A couple of days ago I went in the truck to Albertson’s for the first time since moving to this house. Deciding to assume we’d be broke soon enough, I got some incense, a colorful skirt and a new oil warmer while I could. We also ate at KFC with the $1 coupon I won, but he just got potato wedges, since he hates chicken.

I spoke briefly with Paula this morning and let her know we’d be taking off next week. I sent her a quick note with our new address.

I also got a surprise email from Mary which I almost marked as spam at first. Then when I saw it said: It’s me, Mary. Please do contact me. It came from a Jeff W. I asked who he was and how Mary was, and let him know I’d contact her. Why not? I do kinda miss her, even if she annoys me at times. The question is, is she wanting contact to ask me for favors? To tell me she’s getting out soon? Going to prison? Well, I guess I’ll find out soon enough. I gave her the new address too, and we should definitely be down there before she has a chance to receive my letter and then write back.

Later…

I got a reply from Jeff W. It’s actually Shirley, a friend of Mary’s mother, Elaine. She said Mary writes her once in a while, is ok, and asked to pass along the message about writing to her.

Here’s something hilarious. Tom just came in to say he couldn’t believe it when Yahoo, his homepage, just said it was 94º. He said, but it can’t be more than 80º out there! And he thought it was weird when he’d get up real early and see it say it was already 75º, surprised it wasn’t in the 50s. That’s when he realized he’d already set it to Sacramento weather! Ha, ha, ha, ha!!! I should secretly switch it back to here in a few months so he can wake up to have it tell him it’s freezing!

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2007 The last of the plans has been finalized. He got a bigger, but cheaper truck from Budget Truck Rentals reserved for Monday. Tuesday is when we’ll take off, whether we have a place lined up or have to go to a motel. The question is, if we do have to go to a motel first, is that God’s way of doing us a favor in the end? Or would He be screwing us over that way? If we had to go to a motel, then Tom got a much better paying job than even he thought, we might be able to go to a house and skip the apartments altogether, but I know better than that. God’s going to do everything He can to drain our money as fast as possible, get us into a noisy apartment and keep us there for at least a year, only allowing Tom the shitty-paying jobs. I don’t think he’ll get more than $9 an hour.

Next door is one of those extremes that isn’t, so to speak. They’ve got trash all over the yard and Tom’s been seeing 6-7 cars a day there. And although I haven’t heard anything, thanks to them being further away and the driveway being on the other side of the house, it goes to show that we can still beat some pretty ridiculous odds and get those extremes. Every house we’ve had has been next to a rental. What are the odds of that, along with the odds of someone having 15 little brothers next door, plus all the other flukes we’ve had to deal with?

On the other hand, we could’ve gotten stuck with a stereo next door, and we could’ve had them driving in and out of the yard with them, too. Something definitely looked out for us in this house. We’ll just see how it goes when we’re attached to people again.

People associate big with tougher, so I’ve stopped drinking the tea till we get settled down there. If I do end up literally having to “fight for my sleep,” I’ll want the extra weight to do so with. I’ll also need it if things go so bad that we end up broke and starving. My body can use the extra fat, and I have about 35 pounds of it, to feed off of if it has to.

I just wish I knew why we’re being steered into motels first! Is it just to put us out some more and drain our money faster? Or is it to help us get to a better place?

All I know is that I’m just so sick of moving just because other people can’t shut up! In this case, it may be more due to the house being a dump, the town being a dead-end place, and the cold and snow, but almost all my other moves were because someone just couldn’t shut up. Well, this time around I’ll shut them up! Why should I be put out cuz of them? So believe me when I say there won’t be any phone calls, eggs, or other pranks. Just my fists! For once they’re going to pay for their actions, not me! And they won’t have any kind of a hold on me to stop me!

Regardless of what the neighbors force me to do to get any peace, today’s a prime example of why I want out of Oregon. It’s July and I’m cold! It’s been rainy and is only to get up to 65º today and down to 46º tonight.

MONDAY, JULY 16, 2007 Wow, that was wild! I just watched Tom drive off in the truck for the first time in over two years! He’s gone to do the laundry. A lot more of it than he could take on the bike, like our comforters and things like that.

I had what I hope was a dream signaling a big win to come, even though he’ll tell you I don’t have dream premonitions and that I’m only an influencer. I dreamt I looked out back and saw my folks. I stormed out there and shouted, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

My dad turned to me as if all had been just dandy over the years and called out “Jodi Lin!” in the jovial way he sometimes used to. Then I noticed the shiny new car and thought it was theirs at first until I realized it was too ordinary to be theirs. Why would they have just a 25K car? Then I saw 2-3 boxes the size of a refrigerator and he said, “Yeah, you won big this time.”

I said, “Well, how did you get in the picture? I don’t remember you being on any entry forms.”

Then he said, “You’ve got 400-500 more packages coming.”

SUNDAY, JULY 15, 2007 The truck’s progressing nicely and why wouldn’t it? We’re going to a zoo, not a nice, peaceful house. It’s when we get there that the piece of shit will break down. We’re almost certainly going to get something new within the first year, though it’ll just be another, better piece of shit. You’d think at our ages we could at least have something decent to drive since we can’t live where we want to, but that’s just how it is for us; we always gotta take what we can get and that’s not usually much. At least we can now drive as well as walk and ride our bikes, and at least that zoo won’t snow or get down to 20º.

Tinkerbell’s tumor is continuing to grow. The damn thing is about the size of a golf ball now. Because it’s on her chest she has to arch her back when she walks, the poor thing, but at least she doesn’t appear to be in any pain.

The pool diagonally across from us is deflated, too. What, is someone going around pool-popping or something? Then again, it’s probably cuz of the midges. Tom says the inside of the truck is loaded with dead bugs galore that he’ll have to vacuum out.

I didn’t see anyone, but apparently someone next door’s painting a car because they have the windows covered with newspaper. They have a small screen room set up too, and of course it’s right by our place. Well, not right smack up against the fence, but close to it. I’m amazed I haven’t heard anything else other than their music which seems to be a popular Friday night sport. Or at least every other Friday.

They’ve not only begun to kick unruly kids off planes whose mothers won’t hush them or medicate them, but they’re also kicking them off some beaches in Michigan too, they’re so damn out of control these days. Hopefully, the more they get ousted from various places, the more the parents might consider returning to the good old days when kids were seen and not heard! And teach them some fucking manners.

SATURDAY, JULY 14, 2007 Things are back to normal as far as the stereos go. I had to listen to them blast by every 15 minutes or so for two hours after I got up, and I didn’t get up till 11 PM. They were blasting off next door too, and I could faintly hear the beat of music in here. Tom thinks they’re moving because the pool’s deflated and he’s been seeing a different vehicle over there. They definitely don’t stay there long. I’d think a ghost was chasing them out if I didn’t know how old and dumpy the place is for what it costs. Anyway, this is nothing. Wait till we’re attached to this shit again!

Tom quit his job yesterday so now we’re almost as homeless as we are jobless, and now it’s off to either sink or swim in a few days. I know we can swim at least till September with the money we’ve got saved, but who knows after that? Guess it’s all going to depend on just how much God may still hate us.

It sucks that I’m both stressed out and depressed over the move. I should be excited and excited only. This is California. Yet while there is a degree of excitement, all I can think about is the shit I went through at the duplex, in Phoenix, the NHA. My biggest fear is that they won’t let me sleep. Stealing my peace when I’m awake would be bad enough, but I know all too well and good how miserable it can make you feel, even if you don’t smoke, to go month after month with no sleep.

It also sucks that the horses didn’t pan out so we could go where we wanted. But of course God wouldn’t let that work out if He’s as hell-bent as always on keeping us where at least I don’t want to be. Tom’s not as picky. He’s not a light sleeper and he’s not home as much. It would’ve been different to go to an apartment knowing we had money and that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Going out this way is a lot like being the unsentenced inmate in jail, not knowing where the end is or if there even is an end, and what may happen in between.

FRIDAY, JULY 13, 2007 Just a few more minor adjustments and we are on wheels again! He could only get a 3-week permit for it, then we’ll get a 30-day one down there. Then we’ll decide whether or not to get a different vehicle or what, I hope. Meaning, I hope God will leave the choice to us. As it is I am not looking forward to being his little bum again! Tom’s being his usual naive, over-optimistic self, but I’m thinking that we’ll really be feeling that old familiar poverty pinch around September or October. I’m hoping that the following spring we’ll start seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Then by summer of ’09, we should once again be temporarily on our feet. You know, like for a year or two.

Someone from here saw his resume online and called him. Figures, huh? But California hasn’t called. Well, unless they’re willing to give him $30 an hour and a remote farm to live on, we’re outa here!

I don’t like anyone telling me I have to stay in a particular place for a certain amount of time. I’ve had enough of that. Therefore, I told Tom that since we won’t have the money for an upscale apartment that might be quiet, let’s just go for one with a 3-month lease rather than 6 months to a year. Then the only thing that’ll be stopping us from moving will be poverty, fate and me, determined to adapt and stay put since I could never live where I want to anyway. God’s really made me feel like I don’t deserve to by stripping me of my right to choose where I go. I’m glad He at least has the decency to let me choose what state I go to, but why the apartments? Why the tooth houses? The only way I could stand having neighbors so close, but not attached, would be in a retirement community. Until then, why couldn’t we have been allowed to strike out on our own? Of course, the fucking Arabs are partly responsible for us having to stick to the city. Anyway, maybe if I quit fighting Him and just give in to His obsession with me living where I don’t want to, other things will go better in life. Besides, it’d only be a matter of time till we ended up right back there anyway.

So anyway, Tom said that if we’re going to do that, we may as well get a place that does month-to-month, so he can focus solely on getting a job.

And I’ll focus on the positives to the negatives. Assuming we can get on top of someone, and I hope so since I’ve never really had any problems with anyone under me as opposed to above and next door, then I won’t have to feel so bad about accidentally dropping something on their heads at 3 AM if they can’t shut up, now will I?

What sucks is that my air cleaner picked the perfect time to crap out on me. I can’t run it on high where it’s loudest. Now tell me that’s just a coincidence and I’ll tell you you’re full of shit! Tom says we can get a new one when we get there, but I don’t know if an air cleaner can save me in an apartment. It blocks out most non-vibrant sounds, but when the animals next door get to running around, and the people downstairs have to slam their door, it’s going to jolt me awake. That’s ok. I’ll be waking them up, too. If they won’t let me sleep on whatever schedule I’m on, of course I’m not going to let them sleep either.

The stereos have continued to be quieter, and I’m not sure if the spells have finally kicked in, something up there is finally listening to me, or people have started complaining. I’m just glad they’re quieter. Besides banging, house stereos are going to be one of the worst problems down there because they’re not going to be for just a few seconds at a time. Oh well, once again, the past can’t come back to haunt me if I stay in the past.

I hit 130 on Netwinner.

They’re finally cracking down on screaming kids on planes. It’s a story about your typical modern mom who doesn’t believe in teaching children manners, consideration and respect. Her 19-month-old was singing “Bye, bye plane,” and being totally obnoxious as they were about to take off. A flight attendant asked the mother to medicate the animal to quiet it down. They’re starting to pass out baby Benadryl which I think is a damn good idea with more and more animals flying and with less and less discipline in the picture. The mother refused, saying she wasn’t going to drug the kid up so they could have a pleasant flight. So the flight attendant says, “Look, this isn’t funny anymore. You need to shut your baby up.” Yet the woman would do absolutely nothing to hush the animal, so they turned around from taxiing and kicked the woman and animal off.

While it may’ve been rude to say she needed to shut it up, hopefully they’ll set an example for other untamed, spoiled little brats, but since we are living in a time where most folks think kids should just let it all out and let themselves go, no matter who gets put out, the mother will probably be able to sue the airline company. Even if tickets were cheap, it’d still be a lot to pay to get screamed at for hours at a time, so it’d be nice if they made Benadryl mandatory everywhere. The stuff is harmless.

TUESDAY, JULY 10, 2007 Tom said I shouldn’t go into the idea of moving back to an apartment complex with a negative attitude. I told him that I was only doing that on account of past experience, but I suppose I shouldn’t assume that just because I’ve never had a quiet apartment doesn’t mean I can’t start. Although it’ll take time, maybe I’ll truly come to like it. I’d just hate to get into a house, no matter where it was, and know it could only be temporary. I just want to settle down for once and for all, and if the only place I can do that is in an apartment, so be it. It’s where I was meant to be all along.

I also know that complaining would be useless. If anything, it’d just make the situation worse, and I know Tom. I remember all too well how he’d be quick to automatically defend the neighbors and make excuses for them and I don’t want to deal with that shit all over again. I don’t know why a man would stand by his neighbors and not his wife, but that’s just the way he is. He’s so kissy-ass to neighbors that if they were noisy as hell, he’d still want me to keep my noise from their ears, but I have a problem with respecting those who don’t respect me. I just can’t do that. If I could, I’d still be associating with my family. Either way, I’m not going to return to fighting over neighbors and allowing them to come between us and all that old bullshit all over again.

Most of the apartments in the west had been built to block sight and not sound. Maybe by now, they’ve realized that while most people don’t care, we don’t all want to hear our neighbors. So maybe by now, they’ve built them a little tougher.

At least it’s only one of us that has to adapt. Never do we ever have to worry that he’s going to come out and say, “I can’t stand the noise here, I can’t sleep, I want to move.”

I know I may be tempted to run at first, but when the bumps and bangs and other shit are at their worst, I’ll just have to remember 3 things. The security that apartments bring. The fact that Tom won’t have to do yard work. The fact that I’ll no longer have to worry about the past returning to haunt me if I’m already stuck in it. You can’t get kicked back if you don’t allow yourself to get ahead. Of course, I could throw in the fact that any apartment would be better than Brattleboro, Valleyhead or jail.

I’m not expecting it to be peaceful, I’m just hoping to adapt. Tom said he won’t consider any places that allow pets and C-8, but I don’t know if that’ll make a difference. Everyone had jobs at the Phoenix apartments yet they still managed to drive me crazy before work, after work, on weekends. It’s just the nature of apartments. When you share a building with others, you’re going to hear/feel each other. The question is, will God go out of His way to put us with the elephant walker? The group of college kids? Or how about the Mexican bitch with the army of untamed little siblings that have to spend Christmas with her? The extremes. That’s what I worry about, although sometimes it seems like everyone’s an extreme.

I was thinking earlier about just how much easier the preparations to get out of Oregon are going as opposed to when we were leaving Arizona. Then it hit me that of course God would pave the way for us if He knew we were going to an apartment complex. If it’s to a place I don’t want to be in, He’d never set up any roadblocks like He would if we were trying to run off by ourselves to some secluded mountain. His not allowing me to live where I want to live makes me feel like I don’t deserve any better. Could this possibly be true? Am I simply not worthy of living in peace in a modest place for some reason?

I don’t think I’ll go to the pool that often because I couldn’t have it to myself, and because I’m not into tanning. I can’t tan anyway. I’d just get that awful itchy sun poisoning. I’m not young and thin anymore so I don’t expect people to pay much attention to me at the pool whenever I did go, gay, straight, male or female, which would be the only good thing. Friends mean trouble.

Speaking of apartments, “Dawn” emailed the Vista asking whatever became of the Stacey Searl she knew in ’93. I never got a reply which makes me think she’s long gone, though it would’ve been nice if they could’ve told me that, or she’s still there. I highly doubt she’s still there. Most people don’t have the same job that long and I can’t believe she wouldn’t have eventually gotten fired for misconduct. Whatever her personal reasons really were that motivated her to treat me the way she did, she was the type of person to make just about everybody and anybody miserable. Sooner or later the complaints would’ve added up pertaining to the way she handled things and butted into other people’s business. Once, when Judy was defending her, she said Stacey managed complexes bigger than the Vista in the past. If that’s so, then why step down to a smaller one? Wouldn’t that be like a demotion of sorts?

The midges are just now starting to take over the place. It’s a good thing we’ll be out of here in a week.

SATURDAY, JULY 7, 2007 This computer is so much easier to see! That is until my eyes get even worse. Web pages are especially easier to see, but I could always set the font size in my documents.

For reasons I can’t fathom, I’ve gained 3 pounds overnight. Just like the last time I had that instantaneous two-pound bloat, last night I suddenly felt bloated, and today I awoke at 134 pounds. It’s almost like my body’s trying to gain back what the tea took off. I’m wondering if it could be the bread I got to make sandwiches with so I wouldn’t heat myself or the place up by cooking things.

I was curious to see if the Vista Ventana had a website and if it mentioned who was managing it. Well, they do have a site, but they don’t mention who today’s players are. I left a message from “Dawn” asking if Stacey Searl was around. I said I last knew her when she was managing the place in ’93 before I moved away.

The studios I was in are now twice as expensive. They now go for $585! I had been paying something like $277.

The stereos continue to be amazingly quiet. Have people finally gotten fed up enough to do something about them? Or is there a God that’s finally listening to me up there? I decided to pray for protection from health, financial, neighbor and noise problems in the off-chance He may care enough to help us this time around. But I also prayed to continue losing weight, yet have gone up so I don’t know what to think.

Next week Tom’s going to start calling places. He’s going to start with houses and duplexes till Wednesday, then move on to the inevitable – apartments. I know we’re fated to end up in apartments. Could be a duplex, but as we’ve learned, those can be just as bad. We’ve definitely got to keep the bamboos close by and get a horseshoe. As soon as we went on vacation, the noise curse was right back on us, though I don’t know if all the bamboos and horseshoes in the world could help us in a warm climate. Especially an apartment in a warm climate. Either way, it’s obvious God wants me in an apartment when I consider the fact that the Phoenix house was very apartment-like, thanks to the assholes next door, then had to play Siesta Suites in Scottsdale, then got dragged back into the city and into jail, then got booted out of Maricopa which was anything but apartment-like, then had to play motel again, then got stuck for nearly a year in a duplex because conveniently, no houses were available then.

Tammy never wanted to live in the city either. But how come she’s always had the choice and I haven’t? I don’t understand why it’s so important to Him that I live where I don’t want to live, but when apartments end up being our only choice, I’m going to do everything I can to adapt back to that life and stay there. For one, I’m sick of moving and it could mean losing out on some good wins. I have to redo passcards and update accounts, which is a pain. Lastly, I wouldn’t have to worry about getting thrown back and stuck yet again in a place I don’t want to be if I’m already there.

THURSDAY, JULY 5, 2007 Yes, I am still going to lose more weight! I’m down to 131 pounds now. Amazing, huh?

The entire west has been swept by a heatwave. It’s almost like Arizona in Sacramento today at a 107º! It’s pretty toasty here too, at 99º. It’s to remain in the 90s at least till Tuesday. I’m surprised they’re not living in the pools they got set up around here.

Poor Randy! It must be a bitch for him to be out delivering mail in this heat. I miss him. I wonder if he’s thinking of me and how much I enjoy this heat. At least the stereos have been winter-quiet.

TUESDAY, JULY 3, 2007 My new laptop is mostly set up now, thank God! It’s been a real pain in the ass configuring things. I’ve had to redo my Robo passcards and logins, and I’m still getting used to this keyboard, too. There’s still some fine-tuning to be done. Meanwhile, I hope I don’t have to go through this again for at least a decade! I’m going to eventually get new speakers that can plug into this thing. Then all I’ll have is the laptop and speakers, rather than two desktops and speakers. That’ll save on space and make moving a lot easier!

I forgot to mention that Stephen gave Tom back the $100 we gave him, saying it wasn’t necessary. That was really nice of him!

It’s to be in the 90s for the next few days. The people diagonally across the street put up an inflatable pool that’s smaller than next door’s. They put it in a weird spot, in the front corner close to the house next to them. I don’t know why they put it there and not on the other side where they’d have more space and privacy, but Westerners aren’t very big on space and privacy to begin with.

We went and ordered more tea, though I’m still not sure I’ll lose more weight. I’ll need the Claritin to lose anymore, then hopefully the tea will help keep it off.

[aaaaatillathenun]

What the fuck is wrong with today? Did I just wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Is it cosmic?

It started so good. I woke up 45 minutes before my alarm and I was excited to get some “extra sleep”.

There was a big asshole truck driving on the way to work. Like I understand you want some small dick compensation but like at least be able to handle it if you feel the need to get one. This guy kept driving on the line and making me feel unsafe when I tried to pass him.

Then I did my stupid little one hour of work and I discovered that the fucking travel office changed the layout of the travel system we use without telling anyone. A couple weeks after they changed they layout of their website without telling anyone. I fucking hate the travel office. Someone I support has a report pending from a trip he took in April. That’s a whole different fiscal year, shouldn’t there be some consequences for your poor time management? I fucking. Hate. The. Travel. Office.

Then for my fucking class the lab manager didn’t come to open the door to the computer lab the class was in until 25 minutes after it started. Absolute waste of everyone’s time. Everyone was there at 8 in the goddamn morning for a class and your website and door both say that you’ll be there at 8. Where’s the communication? Absolutely fuming. I had to very consciously restrain myself from yelling at him, because honestly fuck that dude. I hope the professor chews him out. I should tell the professor that tbh.

The class was stupid as it always was. CliftonStrengths is a scam.

Then I got lost in the building like a chump trying to get out and I got pissed. I think you’re supposed to exit on the second floor, but how the hell am I supposed to know that? The star on the elevator was next to the first floor.

And its difficult to ride my bike when I’m hauling all the shit around to refill my snack drawer in an extra bag and all the fucking freshmen dont know how to walk on the sidewalks so bikes can get by.

My advising session was actually p good not gonna lie. Someone with the same advisor told me that she didn’t like the advisor bc she was so direct, but idk what she was on bc that was a great advisor and a person I get along with and would like to get the point of view more

Then back at work the fucking fire alarm went off. It was so fucking loud where I was and then we all had to hang out outside for twenty minutes until the firefighters came. And no one knows still if it was a drill or not but idek if it matters bc the “floor safety officers” were so bad at their job and didn’t really know what to do.

Then I found out that one of the systems we use wasn’t set up properly for me and I talked to my supervisor about it to try and get her to fix it. THEN I found out that I had actually been looking in the wrong place for a fucking year and it WAS set up correctly.

Also I checked my bank account and the term tuition has not been taken out of my bank account even though I have the payment confirmation. So I’ll wait for another like week and then check again.

I also realized that I forgot to pay rent and utilities for October. I need to let my roommate know that I’ll be renewing for another 6 months. However part of this non payment is bc she didn’t put any of the utilities i to tricount so idk what I owe her. I’ll get the check when I get home today tho. Hopefully she’ll let me waive the three day late fee because she also didn’t do anything for the utilities.

I hate when my job makes me feel like a travel agent and reimbursement machine but when it’s anything else I’m so out of my depth because all I ever do is travel shit.

Lets see how the rest of this shit day will go. I still have an hour and a half left of work plus I said I would show my face at a social event for my volunteer club, but that’s ok bc the new officers will be picking up the tab so I get a free drink or 2. But then I have a bunch of readings to do tonight.

Why the fuck did i decide that working and going to grad school at the same time and also living so far from everything was a good idea.

[angeli-marco-writes]

Sherlock Holmes - Kiss Me, Mr Detective

A/N - Season 1!Sherlock, the cutie. And friends to lovers. Two of my favourite things. I do not own Sherlock Holmes, the character, the universe, the adaptations or anything: this is a work of fiction set on the BBC adaptation of Sherlock. Did I still write 8.2k words (exactly) for it? Yes. I also don’t own the song or the lyrics used within, and if you fancy it, listen to ‘Kiss Me’ by Ed Sheeran while reading.

Warnings - Bad language. Mentions of murder and drug usage. Mild angst. Smut, loss of virginity, masturbation, oral m receiving, penetration, unprotected sex, so 18+.

Summary - After a fight with John leaves Sherlock feeling particularly down, he calls on the one person who is always there to support him. Only tonight, it’s different. Feelings come to a head, exploration ensues, but is this just a one time thing? That depends on whether she stays the night...

TO SHERLOCK, it’s just another normal day, whereas to John? He’d rather not admit how regularly these awful days roll around. Sure, the case didn’t go as well as it could’ve, and Sherlock admittedly could’ve made much more of an effort to comfort John after the apparent ‘heartbreak’ he endured. He just could not understand it. Why the hell was John so emotionally responsive to a case they’d been on for less than twenty four hours which turned out to be a bust anyway? 

“You are absolutely unbelievable!” 

“People die every day, John. You’ve killed people, as have I. It isn’t that great a surprise.” Sherlock deadpans, picking up his teacup, raising it to his lips, drawing a long sip from the warm liquid. 

“Oh, yeah, of course. The proud, the cold untroubled heart of stone, that never mused on sorrow but its own.” John mocks. “Do you not even care that people are still dead despite the fact you solved the case?”

“They’d be dead either way,” he reiterates, “at least we got to them before they completely decomposed. Will me caring about them stop them from being dead? No, Dr Watson, it will not.”

“Sherlock!”

“John!” He mimics. 

John slams his hands down on the desk, shaking the wood and everything resting on it, surely sending the vibrations through the floor and notifying Mrs Hudson of their ‘domestic’ as she so likes to call them. The buffalo even begins to swing. John’s tea is long forgotten, but Sherlock’s is keeping him grounded, calm, as John waggles his fist in Sherlock’s passive, blank face. 

“You-” he pauses, gulping down breath. “You are a fucking machine, I can’t even deal with you right now. How dare you be so cold hearted and untroubled by this. You’re a disgrace.”

As if he hasn’t heard that one before, Sherlock scoffs. 

Placing his teacup back down with a clink, he stands, the darkness of the night, of the room, closing in on them both. Nights like these really are danger nights, any night John leaves him. That’s what's coming next, but there isn’t a thing he knows to say or do to prevent the inevitable. He’ll simply just text Her instead, she’ll keep him grounded. 

“Why? Emotional context? Emotion, whether of ridicule, anger, or sorrow, whether raised at a puppet show, a funeral, or a battle, is your grandest of levellers. The man who would be always superior should be always apathetic.” 

With a huff like a bull, John viciously turns on his heel, blaspheming under his breath, cursing Sherlock out. He reaches for his coat and snatches it off the stand, slamming the door open. 

“MACHINE.” John screams before pulling the door shut with a great slam, seething, the coat stand still rocking in his wake. 

John’s footsteps thunder down the stairs, but before he’s even gone, Sherlock’s phone is withdrawn, and he’s tapping out a message.

Can you come over? Please? SH

It wouldn’t usually bother him as much. The case didn’t phase him, at all, but John’s opinion did. It always does. But today was a particularly long day of being brutish and rude, cold and distant, his usual and true self, but John’s more and more impatient with him now. 

Being called a ‘machine’ is, again, nothing unusual, but this time it stings a little more than usual, especially after his recent arrest, and a fallout with Molly. He only has one person left, right now, who doesn’t hate him. His longest friend, the one he keeps away from it all so as to not tarnish her life with his misdeeds; Y/N, the one he can always rely on.

He knows she’s arrived by the sound of his window crashing open. Crawling up the bricks, skimming the drainpipe, latching onto the ivy; it’s her usual manner of entry. She never uses the door. 

Putting his cups and saucers into the sink, he makes his way through the house, opening his bedroom door to find her already sitting there on the bed, her coat hung up on the hook, her work clothes clinging to her body. 

“Hey there Mr Detective, you okay?” she asks as jovially as she can muster.

The way he ambles across the room, his dressing gown floating behind him, and slumps down onto the bed, instantly tells her he’s not okay at all. She can’t help but to look upon him sympathetically, edging a smidge closer to him, until he’s prompted enough to wrap his arms around her torso, finding his rightful place tangled around her. She knows him well enough - his past, and his current life - to realise she’s the only person he’s ever felt comfortable enough around to do this with, and that brings her a certain swelling pride in her bosom, one that doesn’t go unnoticed by Sherlock as he feels her skin heat up against his cheek. 

It doesn’t take long, either, for his head to follow suit, burying into her chest. He’s always, always had a thing for her boobs, ever since they were in uni together. 

That’s something so special about the two of them, he doesn’t have to say anything for her to know he’s not okay the way he does with everyone else. And naturally, he can read everything about her in a split second.

“I’m here, bud.”

Above all else, he just needs to know someone is there for him in moments like these. The world is cruel to him, and Y/N wishes more than anything that it wasn’t. Upon instinct, her hands stray, one to his back, pressing against the silk of his dressing gown, the other cradling his long neck, fingers knotting in the dark curls there. 

She isn’t sure how long she stays there, simply holding him, feeling every twitch of his muscles, every breath of his against her skin, but she likes it. Of course she does, every time she likes it. Sherlock brings her an inordinate amount of comfort at the best of times, today is no exception, especially with what the day has held. Even when she’s the one comforting him, he doesn’t realise how much he helps her too. 

His flat is so familiar, his bed as comfortable as her own. She knows his sock index, she’s studied his periodic table over his shoulder more times than she’d care to admit, and she even has her own toothbrush in the bathroom in case she has to pop over for an emergency freshen up. Sherlock has, and always will be, her first port of call, and that she remembers as she shifts further onto the quilted bedspread, her phone on his oak bedside locker. 

His head begins to stir against her chest, his curls tickling her collarbones, small hums escaping his lips as he pushes himself up, his elegant yet trembling hands still splayed on her waist.

“I could feel your heart beating weirdly, what’s wrong?” he asks, quirking his eyebrows. 

“Just the usual.” she vaguely replies.

Sherlock isn’t having it, though, and scans her a little more. “You’re still in your work clothes.”

“Great deduction. I was hoping you’d go a little deeper, though.”

“You hate wearing work clothes longer than necessary, which means you had plans straight after work, considering you finished… five hours ago? That’s your usual time for today. Counting overtime, forty five minutes, walk to your car, another ten, but your umbrella wasn’t working, round that up to an hour, leaving at 6. You arrived home, no, not home, at your boyfriend’s house for dinner. However, you’re not comfortable enough with one another yet for you to use his shower, or perhaps you are, but you elected not to, and stay in damp clothes that only had seventeen minutes to dry with the heater on in your car for the journey there. You ate dinner, Mexican, had a glass and a half of five percent wine, realised you couldn’t drive, but you didn’t particularly want to stay. Nonetheless you sat and watched the telly with him for hours, football, I can see the dreariness in your eyes. I know how much you hate it, and frankly, same. You stayed for almost all of the match, seeing as you’re now sober, but something else happened.” She lulls her head to the side, prompting him, her smile not meeting her eyes. “As soon as the match ended, he tried to make a move on you, he pressed his mouth to yours, he tried to push his hand up your skirt;” his throat bobs with a vicious gulp; despising the thought of anyone else laying a finger on her, “you swatted him away, rightfully so.” 

He pauses a minute, his harsh tone of voice and his sharp face softening. He can see the vulnerability in her eyes, her walls about to crumble. This woman he appreciates so much. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

Smiling melancholically up at him, she brings her hand back to his hair, her fingers carding through the soft curls. His face buries back into her chest just as her voice offers a broken whisper, “I broke it off. I was the one who couldn’t commit this time.” 

And as she lays her head on top of his, her breathing more shallow, resounding in her chest, he dwells over those very words. The way she said them, not to mention the words themselves, hold a myriad of meaning. What could she possibly-

Oh.

The subtext, yes, impeccable. She’s always had a way with implications and subtext, always knowing that the likelihood of him actually picking up on it is little to none. But now, now he’s become trained to her, her way of life, her way of thinking, her way of speaking. This is too good an opportunity to miss. If she means what he thinks she means, ever hopeful, then this is completely unfamiliar territory. 

Gathering all of his courage in one deep breath, he begins to pepper kisses on her skin. The faintest brush of his lips on the tops of her breasts, all that’s available to him with her shirt the way it is. He feels her heart flutter, her breathing stutter, but despite the chemical flush of her chest, he still isn’t quite sure she likes it. Not until he feels her grip on his hair increase, and he glances up to see her head thrown back. Her spine delicately arches against his hand, thrusting her chest further into his face. 

His nimble fingers reach for her buttons, undoing the top two, giving him space enough to find the valley between her breasts. Lathering kisses there, licking the swells of her boobs, his tongue pulsates with the increased thrumming of her heart. The sensation is new, so unbridled, and he doesn’t quite know what to do with the stirring in his loins right about now. That unknowing is only further amplified by the sound that rips from her chest when he involuntarily bites down on the supple flesh. It couldn’t be… a moan?

Sure, he understands the chemistry of it, the reactions that occur in the synapses of the brain, the pheromones and hormones released when one is aroused, but this is all new to him. And, from his embarrassingly basic level of theory, surely that doesn’t start until some more stimulation on other parts of the body commence? Nipples, perhaps something lower down… then again, what does Sherlock know?

Of course it’s an intimate moment, the closest he’s been to a woman before, and maybe that’s why he freezes, stops, and she tugs his head up by his hair, her gentle, pleasured smile with her lips softly parted deepening the look of bewilderment painted onto his face. Her eyes are twinkling, alight with an excitement he hasn’t seen for far too long. 

“What are you doing?” she whispers. 

He shrugs his shoulders with a sudden force, his dressing gown falling off a little. “I don’t know. But now I feel like I read your pining words all wrong.” 

She gasps, a wheezing sound, sucking the air from the room. She smacks his arm gently, muffled by his button-down and dressing gown. “I wasn’t pining! I was saying.”

“Hmm, same difference.” 

Everyone must acquiesce when it comes to Sherlock Holmes. “But no, you didn’t read them wrong at all, but I know you don’t see me that way, you don’t feel things that way.” 

He pauses, his beautiful plump lips pursed, fidgeting on the bed. Brushing her hair off her face reveals the pain she expressed. However, her eyes glued on his, sadness is betrayed in every line of his young, clean-shaven face. His entire bone structure is taking a nosedive. 

“For you, I’ve been feeling everything from hate to love to lust, and I guess that’s how I know I want to hold you close.”

“Sherlock...” she whispers, her singular word an inflection of surprise. 

Never tearing his eyes from her, his hand comes up to her cheek, rubbing his thumb over the slightly blushing skin, searching her face, with his big blue eyes, for a shred of reluctance. But, all he sees is her, so he elects to do what his heart is yelling at him to do for once, and kisses her breathless. His full lips holding hers, his one hand on her face, the other still wrapped around her back. Hers fly around his neck, clinging to him for dear life.

It doesn’t take long, their movements steadily heating, for their previously slow, intimate kiss to grow into something more, Y/N pulling herself up from the bed and making herself comfortable on Sherlock’s lap. His breath hitches in his throat, a cute little hiccupping sound escaping his lips in between embraces. 

As much as he loves just this, soft caressing and gentle petting, he just knows she wants more. He does too, that much is evident from the length prodding at Y/N’s inner thigh as she moves gently on his lap. She won’t make a move, though, he’s too inexperienced, and she’s too much of a sweetheart to corrupt him, so she thinks. Ever since he first saw her, she’s been corrupting him slowly. He didn’t realise at first, but over the years, he began to understand, and now he’s in too deep. 

For Y/N? It’s always been him. Every breakup she’s had, she’ll come to Sherlock’s flat, full well knowing the real reason she broke up with them, because she couldn’t commit, because she was too caught up on him. 

Skimming his hands beneath her shirt, he savours the press of his hands on her bare skin, warmth seeping from her body into his, his fingers dancing along her spine. Electricity shocks her in bursts, unlike anything else, from his touch alone. 

“May I take your shirt off?” he asks. 

“Fuck, yes.” she groans. “May I do yours?”

“Be my guest.”

In a tangle of limbs, a few buttons pop off, and eventually, two shirts make it out the other side, tossed from the bed and into the laundry pile. Aka Sherlock’s floor. He’s like that: sock indexes, yet he won’t get a hamper. A walking contrast.

His thumbs press beneath the band of her bra, savouring the pressure of the flesh that falls into his hands, but that’s as far as he gets. 

“Never undone a bra before?”

He shakes his head sheepishly. “I know the theory. Just… you always wear peculiar ones.”

“I wear relatively normal bras, and this one is certainly bog standard. Had I known you’d be undressing me Mr Detective, I’d have worn something nicer.”

“Just do it for me.” He requests, chuckling. 

She unfastens her bra, and allows her breasts to spill from the cups, into Sherlock’s awaiting hands. The gasp that erupts from him sends Y/N’s brain into overdrive. He’s cupped her chest through her shirt before, buried his nose into her cleavage countless times, but never before have they had such skin on skin contact. Her lips press to his neck, shifting her closer to him. Sucking on his pressure point, she receives a similar gasp in response, only this one is more guttural, more a sound of pleasure than surprise. He’s wilting from a single kiss to his neck. 

“Has no one ever given you a hickey?” She husks in his ear, her voice alone sending tremors down his spine. 

“N- fuck, no.”

“I’ll make it worth it. All of this.”

“I know you will.”

She fuses her lips onto his again, savouring the faint hesitations as he grapples with his breath, eager to get some control on his mind with all that’s happening. Never did she ever think Sherlock would be here beneath her, his rough fingertips brushing over her peaked buds, and his palms dancing over her waist. Never did she think she’d hear him whisper his next words, either, not in a million years. 

“More.” he pleads. “Can we do… more? Whatever that entails?”

“That depends what you want to do.”

“Get me out of these damn trousers. They're rather uncomfortable.”

She snorts lightly, a piggy like sound, the one they bonded over all those years ago. “I can feel why.”

“I imagine you want out of your work trousers, too.”

“God, yes; they’re ghastly.”

“I don’t think so.” he hums. “You look nice.”

Her cheeks begin to burn, blood rushing to colour them, betraying her true feelings, but as he tweaks her nose playfully, the little snort escapes again. 

They were in the dining hall, second week of university, almost ten years ago, and Y/N was sitting with her friends, downing enough coffee to sink a ship, eating her hangover away, when her friends decided to make her laugh with tales of last night's drunken events. Unbeknownst to her, one of the greatest minds of the twenty-first century was sitting just a few seats down on the half-empty bench, watching her perceptively in his periphery. That’s when he first heard the sound. The cutest thing, and it startled him into action, beginning his deductions almost instantly. Admittedly, her student ID on the table aided him a little. 

He shocked her from her haze, too, as soon as he spoke her name. 

“Y/N, eighteen, jurisprudence first year, freshers week over with. You left a boyfriend back home, but you’re more sad about leaving your dog, as I would be. You don’t particularly care about law but know it’s a good undergraduate to receive anyway. Dyed hair, extrovert, killer hangover, and apparently there’s a little piggy living inside your nose. Sherlock Holmes, would you like some aspirin?”

“That’s weird; what are you, some kind of detective?” She asked, sans malice, a playful bounce to her words. 

“Chemistry, going for a masters. But I do like the mystery, yes.”

“So you’re… bright. Nice to meet you, Sherlock, and it seems you know almost everything you need to know about me. But yes, I will take that aspirin, if you don’t mind. How was your weekend?”

He smiled at her, the first true smile he’d given in a long time. “It was nice, thank you.”

And thus a friendship was born, all because he heard her little piggy snort. 

Her slender fingers work wonders with the fastener and zip of his suit trousers, and even manage hers too, all within the space of a few seconds, but Sherlock is reluctant to let her go, even just to get her trousers off. 

“I need to sit up, just for a minute.”

“No.” Sherlock commands, insistent. “We can make this work.”

“Sure we can, but it won’t be very comfortable. Come on.”

She’s barely peeled away from him and wrestled hers off before he’s drawing her back in for a kiss, his trousers settled just above his knees. 

“Sherlock,” she protests, mumbling against his lips, her hands on his heavenly, broad, muscular shoulders. “Sher!”

Her squeal at his sudden tug on her panties disappears, captured by his eager mouth. And in fact, her panties seem to disappear along with it, thanks to Sherlock’s swift movements and nimble hands. Maybe he’s had some experience to be so good at this…

“You sure you wanna go this far?”

“More sure than I’ve ever been. I need you.” 

He takes a deep inhale, dropping his forehead against hers, his breathing coming out in bursts as he tries to get a grasp on the situation. “Kiss me.”

She doesn’t need to be told twice, instantly getting to work on the waistband of his boxers as his tongue lavishes her own. His hips rise briefly, just long enough for her to tug the elasticated material from around him, slipping past her, and then he kicks it into their growing pile of clothes. His length falls into her awaiting palm, and-

“Wow.” She exhales in amazement. “If I’d known you were packing this much, I’d have jumped you long ago.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“Absolutely not, until tonight I thought you’d just laugh at me.”

He pecks her lips affectionately, “Never. You’re bloody beautiful, I’ll let you do anything to me.”

“Hmm, anything, you say?”

Stifling a chuckle against her neck, he recommences, “Maybe not anything.”

Yeah, that's definitely the right call. Still, she finds herself all but clawing at him, her breath hovering teasingly just over his lips, their noses touching, her hands clamped to his cheeks, feeling the building heat there. She must be making such a mess of his bed right about now, but for one night? It can’t matter.

This is a one time thing, it has to be. Sherlock just needs to release some tension, she just so happens to be there. Still, she can’t prevent the little glimmer of hope shining through at the possibility of this being a more-than-one-time thing. The moral compunctions of their friendship after this don’t matter anymore, because he’s leaving a fire in his wake, his delicious fingertips digging bruisingly into her bum before trailing lightly up her spine, skimming her shoulder, brushing her neck - arched for him to reach where he wants, able to mark her as his own - and finally slipping over her lips, taken obediently by her awaiting mouth. Christ, if there’s one thing she hopes for tonight, it’s that his actions never relent.

Whether it’s what he intends to happen or not, his fingers in her mouth give her an idea, one she prays he goes along with at least a little, so she pulls away. The dirty, telling smile on her face hints at what she’s about to do, lending Sherlock to shift a little more up the bed, his eyes following her every move. Hands splayed on his thighs, her small fingers gripping onto the fine hairs there, she begins to take his tip into her mouth, never once breaking eye contact with him. Yeah, this is what’ll drive him insane. 

Inch by inch, she takes him into the welcoming heat of her mouth, pulling off slowly, only to go down again. She adds her tongue into the mix at some point, too, and her hand, on what she can’t reach, tickling his balls, but further than that, his mind is blank. Hot white, washed with pleasure. The sounds he emits are other worldly, so much that he has to muffle himself with his own hand; what would Mrs Hudson say? He’s always had such control over his mind and body, but this… he’s slowly losing all semblance of control, and he’s not even mad about it. What he does know is that there’s a building heat in his abdomen, a coil about to spring, and his cock is beginning to twitch. If she keeps going this incredible way, her teeth grazing him ever so gently, adding another new sensation into the mix, he’s inexorably going to finish before he can help it.

“As much as I adore your torturous ministrations, I think I need to be inside you…” He husks, his voice deep.

A smirk gracing her lips, she looks up at him through half-lidded eyes, mischief glinting in her pretty little mesmerising eyes for a second, before she hollows her cheeks and takes him wholly, allowing his length to slip partially down her throat. Her moan reverberates around him, and Sherlock begins to thrash above her, scrunching the duvet in his hands, not caring if it creases. If there’s one thing Sherlock hates, it’s creases. And being called a machine by his best friend. Right now, though, it seems as though every misstep in his day has led him here, into the welcoming heat of Y/N’s mouth, taking him so eagerly, her tongue lapping at the vein on the underside of his dick, a string of saliva remaining as she pulls away. 

“I think you’ve got a couple of rounds in you, Mr Detective. Can you do that for me?”

“Y-yes.” He stammers, his head tossed back in pure ecstasy a moment later as she begins to work on the head with kitten licks. “But… can I s- fuck me, say something?”

“I plan on it.” she chuckles, “anything.”

She goes back to peppering kisses all over his member, tip to base, brushing his balls, working her way back up. 

“Touch yourself f- for me.”

“What? Why?” 

Her tone is more inquisitive than anything else, but upon that playfully rueful look in his lust-darkened baby blue eyes, she knows he’s going to get her back for this little display, and he’s just worked out how. It works both ways, she can prepare herself for what’s to come next while pleasuring him. And he gets to watch. It’s a win-win for him. Maybe he likes this sex thing a little more than he’s letting on. 

“Are you sure you want me to? I’ll just make a mess on your sheets, Sher.”

She swallows him again, bobbing her head up and down on his length a few times while he grapples with literal reality. He’s teetering on the edge. One more move, and he’s a goner. His head is already against the wall, lolled there. 

“I don’t care about the sheets, darling, I need you ready for me.”

She gulps, nods, and reaches one hand around her, skimming over her stomach, until it nestles between her thighs. She rubs her thumb over his tip, collecting the pre-come beading there, while she rubs over her throbbing pearl, pressing softly. Then, as she inches down on his cock, taking him in her mouth, she also collects the slick from between her thighs, and uses it as a lube to push a finger inside herself. Of all the times she’s touched herself, she never imagined, even in her wild Sherlock fantasies, that she’d be doing it with his dick down her throat. With every bob of her head, she scissors herself more, sinking back onto her fingers. 

“I think I’m-” Sherlock begins to say, his words cut off by an utterly obscene moan splitting the air. 

She hastily abandons her one post, and wraps both of her hands around his girth, working on what she can’t fit into her mouth with her increased speed, licking and suckling his head as he begins to fall apart, coming, with a scream, down her throat, his one hand clamped over his mouth, biting down harshly to silence his cries; the other buried in her hair. 

His whole body falls lax, completely spent, meanwhile, Y/N savours every drop she’s been able to draw from him. He softens in her mouth, allowing her change to slip away from him, grasping a tissue from the bedside to wipe away any excess. That’s certainly something she never thought would happen… 

He’s calm, though, smiling lazily through hooded eyes, his breathing regulated once more, making beckoning motions to her with his big hands. He’s placated, though, and sliding her hands into his, she’s allowed time enough to get into place, smiling softly at him, raking her fingers over his scalp in a comforting way. Even as she sits herself on his lap, she can feel him hardening beneath her ass, slowly but surely. She was right about him, he’s definitely got another round in him. 

“Do you have a condom?” he asks. 

“No, sweetheart, they’re in my other bag. I didn’t plan on getting any for a while… do you?”

“Not in here, that I’m aware of. John may have stashed some in my less favoured dressing gowns or socks, and he definitely has some upstairs, but I’m unawares.”

“I’m gonna sound crazy here, but do we need one?” She says hesitantly. His eyes widen, he cocks his head to the side. “I was tested after my last partner, I’m clean, and on birth control. You’re a virgin. There’s no point, is there?”

“You have a considerably good point.”

With that, energy rejuvenated a little, he wraps an arm around her body, flipping them over so he’s on top, shadowing her, looming over her, gazing down at every inch of her naked beauty.

“Take your time. I’ll be your safety.”

“I know.” he whispers, a tearful smile making its way onto her face. “Thank you.”

He needn’t say more, because she already knows why she’s being thanked. For her kindness, for making him so comfortable, for accepting the fact he’s still a virgin in his late twenties and, if he’s being honest, has no damn clue what the practicality and reality of sex is. Sure, he’s seen porn. He’s also looked at John’s laptop. But that doesn’t prepare one for when the moment comes. It’s like all of that goes out the window, and he simply remembers the first time he opened a biology textbook at secondary school, pictures of flushed organs staring back at him, desperately waiting to be relieved. That’s what his own coock is like right now, already hard again, virtually pulsating with hunger in his palm. He strokes himself a couple of times, glancing down at Y/N’s wide eyes.

“Are you okay? Can I…”

“Yes, Sherlock,” she chuckles, “whenever you’re ready.”

Now, he thinks. He rubs two digits through her folds, gathering her wetness, enamoured with the way it glistens on his fingertips. Tentatively, he brings his fingers up to his mouth, swirling his tongue around them to get a taste. Eyes rolling into the back of his head, he moans. She’s better than any cup of tea he’s ever had. 

His cock slaps against his lower stomach pleadingly, so he grasps it in his hand, and begins to enter her, pushing gently, feeling every flutter of her walls. Her arms fly out, hands grasping his shoulders, nails leaving crescent moons in their wake at the delicious stretch. It’s nothing like they’ve ever felt before. 

“Can I move?” He asks, balls deep inside her, their pelvises flush against one another. 

“Please.” She all but begs. 

Before doing anything else, Sherlock hooks one strong arm around her body, malleable in his hands, and holds her chest against his. Her breasts push into his skin, her nipples gaining friction from the dusting of hair there. Her one hand cups his slender neck, the other, his sharp cheek. Their eyes meet in a fierce gaze of burning intensity, and he begins to move. Slow, calculated, sharp thrusts punctuate her core. With every heavenly stroke, he can feel the ridges in her velvet walls, squeezing around him unwittingly.

“Jesus,” she cries, her clutch increasing. 

“Hmm, not quite.”

The smirk in his words is quite literally audible. He’s so cocky, so full of himself, and fuck if she can’t feel another gush of arousal coursing through her, drenching his cock. How does he manage to be so attractive when he’s so dishevelled?

“Is that good?” He asks, unsure.

“So good.”

She brings her legs up, skimming the clenched backs of his thighs, until they wrap around him, drawing his hips into her at a new and improved angle. Heels digging into the base of his spine, he begins to move with a new purpose, his thrusts more passionate as his breath is drained from him by her kisses, his eyes alight with a new flame. 

“Oh my God, Sherlock.” She pants, pulling him in for a kiss he greedily returns. 

He drives his hips deeper, squeezing his fingertips into her supple waist bruisingly. It’ll be a mark that she belonged to him once, even just for one night. That’s when he reaches that special spongy spot that makes her entire body buckle. She all but screams, pressing into him wholly. 

The coil is building, ready to break. He seems to be nearing the edge, too, his member twitching inside her when he buries himself particularly deep. She’s oh so fucking close… She licks into his mouth filthily, desperately clashing her teeth with his, eager for his kisses to tide her over. Silence her. Shifting his supporting hand, he trails one dextrous finger around to circle her clit, adding the faintest pressure for a moment. She mewls as he groans into her hot skin, clawing at him, entirely at his whim. Now he knows where to press, he settled his grip back around her, and draws her in close. This time around, he bends his knees a little more to measure his movements more carefully, ensuring that he ruts up and brushes her sensitive bud with his pelvis, helped by the extra friction of his neatly trimmed pubic hair on every thrust within her, his tip just scraping her g-spot.

“I- Sherlock, please tell me you’re- oh sweet mercy- close.”

He grunts softly in her ear. “So close.”

Their lips meet tenderly, passionately, in what they acknowledge to be a final kiss, moans mixing between them, savoured by the other. 

His thighs clench, her legs tighten around his waist, and finally, her sweet walls flutter, squeezing him as she reaches her climax, his not following long after, spilling inside her, painting her soft walls white, marking her. 

“Y/N,” he cries in ecstasy as his orgasm reaches him. “Sher…” she repeats, her saving grace as pleasure washes over her entirely. 

Their whole bodies wind up pressed together, bound together as one, skin on skin completely, becoming one another. 

He lets her down gently, unravelling his grip, unsurprised when their sweaty skin sticks together. Her long legs unfurl, splaying in a butterfly. Sherlock tumbles ungracefully away, somehow landing with a certain gangly elegance on the space of mattress beside her, his arm instinctively flying over to place on her stomach, the skin hot and flushed red. Her chest moves hastily up and down with the thrumming of her heart, while his barely shifts despite his shallow breaths, his white skin glistening in the moonlight. 

“Are you okay?” He huffs, turning on his side. “You look pretty fucked out.”

His baby blue eyes train instantly on her nipples, hard in the open air. This is the first notifier, the first inkling she has to feel self conscious, so she draws the sheet up around her as best as she can. Sherlock’s not having any of it, taking a stronghold on her arms, and pulling her until she’s lying on him, naught to separate them. 

“I’ve never been this close to anyone physically and y'know.” He hums tiredly. She’s never heard him sound tired before… 

She smiles up at him as best she can, “Are you glad?” 

He begins to hold her ever closer, squeezing her tighter, feeling every ridge of her body. 

“I’m so glad that you were my first, in so many ways.” 

Praise from Sherlock is a rarity, and she’ll take it as and when she can, savouring every moment, this time by holding him like a koala, her grip not wavering. 

“I’m glad too, Mr Detective.”

He brushes a kiss to her cheek, “As much as I like this, we need to get you cleaned up.” 

A supporting arm beneath her bum, he picks her up, and unsteadily ambles into the bathroom. 

“I don’t know much about this, but I know you should probably use the toilet, should you want to avoid a UTI, so if you’d like me to leave…”

He sets her down on the loo seat, cupping his hands over his nether regions, and he hurries to grasp for things, until she puts her hand on his arm, squeezing in a conciliatory manner. 

“You do remember the camping trip, don’t you? You really don’t have to leave just because I have to pee, you never did before. In fact, you frequently annoyed me with it if you had a particular point to make, steadfastly refusing to leave the bathroom after following me in there when I went to pee. Why does this change anything?”

He shrugs, dropping whatever was in his arms, “It just doesn’t feel the same now, though.”

“Ooo, and now Mr Detective feels things.” She jokes, poking at his ribs. 

He recoils, chuckling with her, “Only for you.”

As Y/N washes her hand, Sherlock begins to wrangle with a floorboard, clattering about until he eventually pulls out a small lock box, from which he withdraws a packet of brand new marks-and-spencer's ladies briefs. 

“Why the fuck do you have these? Anything you wanna tell me?” she asks, eyes wide.

“John’s idea. He has plenty of girls over here who frequently stay the night, simply a precautionary error.” He takes a beat, gargling with some mouthwash, “they’re clean, new, I just don’t like the idea of you in dirty underwear, and I know how reluctant you are to go without them whenever you’re not in your own bed. I stayed with you enough nights in university to know that.”

Those nights were awfully painful. She’d take the floor, he’d take the bed, and every time she’d have to wash the sheets. He’d sweat and vomit, shake and cry, plead for the pain to be over. He wouldn’t go to hospital, he wouldn’t call his brother, he’d just turn up on her doorstep, high as a kite, almost in tears, knowing he’d gone a little too far. And each time, it was a little farther. 

“Thank you, Sherlock.” 

She takes them from him, and begins to shimmy them up her legs, only prevented by Sherlock moving to grab a handful of her arse. 

“Hmm, I like this. Fancy another round?” He smirks. 

“I’m too tired, babe. Give me a bit.” 

He can see the lazy smile on her face, the tiredness in her pretty eyes, so he wets a flannel, and begins to clean her up with gentle movements between tender kisses.

“How do you know how to do all of this?” She asks, inquisitive more than anything. 

“Instinct, I suppose. I never read or learned about it, seeing as I never thought it would happen.” 

She snaps the waistband before moving her hands to his waist, leaning up onto her toes to reach him, kissing her softly. 

“Look at you now.”

After brushing their teeth in an amicable silence, their pinky fingers overlapping on the porcelain of the sink, he aids her back to the bedroom, settling her on the bed. She has things here: deodorant, toothbrush, moisturiser, and yet somehow she doesn’t have underwear, even after all these years. Perhaps that's one too many things to explain… 

With superfluous extravagance, he throws her his shirt, offering her a wry wink. She finds a blush clawing its way onto her cheeks, dumbfounded. It smells like him, just like a forest glade if it was rained on by tea and cigarettes. Maybe he’ll let her keep it as a memory.

In such a short amount of time, she’s learnt that he has a very sensitive neck. Very. A single kiss there has him biting back a moan. A low one at that, considering his deep voice also drops almost an octave when he’s aroused. His nipples are almost as sensitive as his neck, and he rather likes it when she tugs on them unwittingly. 

His first orgasm comes quickly, but his refractory period is astonishing, and it takes longer to achieve a second high, long enough to make her come more than once, she assumes, though her first orgasm was mind blowing enough for two. Perhaps that’s just because it’s his first time, but it’s impressive nonetheless.

What’s the point in learning all of this if, once he comes around from his post-orgasmic haze, he’ll pretend like it never happened, in typical Sherlock style?

The shirt, though a small gesture, means a lot, and her vision begins to cloud as she looks down at the black cotton. 

“You mean you want me to stay?” She croaks.

Sherlock turns to her from his set of drawers, his face full of apparent obviousness, brows furrowed in that cute bewildered way. 

“Of course I want you to stay.” He states, like it’s the plainest thing in the world, like it’s stupid for her to even ask. But she’s silent, and when she says nothing in response, he launches into a long winded explanation: don’t show sentiment. “I- I just mean, i-it’s midnight, I’m not having you out in London alone. You stay with me. Only if you want to as well...” 

She nods eagerly, “Yes. Yeah, course I want to stay.”

He all but leaps access the room, jumping onto the bed, before planting a proper smooch on her lips, grinning down at her. He slips into his usual side of the bed, and she takes hers, rolling to look at him.

“Don’t get cold.” He warns, tucking the duvet up around her shoulders. She giggles like a child, that small snort sounding again, prompting Sherlock to press his thumb to her nose like a button. “How are you… feeling?”

“I’m fine bub, really. That bloke doesn’t matter to me at all. Bit of a scumbag if I’m honest. You’re the one I’m with, the one I wanna talk about. How are you feeling? Must’ve been a pretty big blow up with John for you to call me and be so... teary.”

He sighs, crestfallen, “He called me a machine.”

Her gasp pierces the air, her hand flying to his hair, stroking in consolation, cooing senseless reassurances to him. She’s done this innumerable times, but now it feels different, like there’s no barrier. 

“He’s done it so many times that it needn’t bother me anymore, but the way he looked at me, like I was this abhorrent monster, especially after the day and the disappointing case we had, it got to me. I hate having feelings.”

“You don’t have to hide them with me, though.”

He hums gently, burying into her chest. “I know. That’s why I treasure you so dearly.”

“That means you also have to trust me, and you’re not going to like what I have to say.” His chest heaves, shifting her whole body. That’s his way of giving in. “Please just talk to John. You know that whenever he leaves, he’ll come back, and try to pretend it never happened. He needs to know you’re human and that he upset you, but also that the case upset you as well. No one’s superhuman, and once you let John in on the fact that you’re not a machine, things between you will be so much easier, because you might agree for once.”

“I suppose you’re right.” He grumbles. 

He pulls her into his warmth, hooking her leg around his as he snakes his arms around her back, breathing deeply from the crook of her shoulder. She begins to pepper kisses on his salty skin, savouring the taste with every small swipe of her tongue.

“Your heart’s against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck,” he breaks off with a faint whimper when she sucks a little harder, “I’m falling for your eyes, but they don’t know me yet.”

“Of course they do,” she whispers brokenly, hoarsely, “they’ve always known you.” She swallows thickly, “Does that mean it’s a feeling you’ll forget?”

“No, I don’t think I ever can.”

The silent words that pass between them both are so special, too special to be spoken aloud. ‘Think I’m in love now.’

“Kiss me like you wanna be loved.” He begs. 

And really, who is Y/N to deny him? They just stay that way a little while, revelling in their lazy kisses, until she begins to fall asleep. It isn’t the first time she’s fallen asleep in his bed, not by any means, but it’s the first time she’s fallen asleep in his arms. She isn’t mad about it.

“Settle down with me, cover me up, cuddle me in. You were made to keep my body warm.” She smiles into her words, and embeds herself into him, entirely covered by the duvet, spattered in his kisses, safe in his arms. Sherlock feels safe with her legs around him, her fingers in his curls, holding himself against her. Amicable silence is how they drift off, Peaceful.

John re-enters 221B at a respectable hour. He got a fair amount of sleep on Greg’s sofa, having no girlfriend in the picture right now, but not enough to deal with Sherlock just yet. Not before his coffee. He expects to see Sherlock sitting in the exact same spot as when he left, perhaps just with a refill of tea, his fingers still steepled beneath his chin, eyes closed yet wide awake. Instead, he arrives at a seemingly empty, considerably clean flat, with no Sherlock in sight. Perhaps the unsleeping man must actually be asleep, he thinks, so he quietens down, and toes off his shoes before wandering farther into the flat. Even if the man does piss him off extraordinary amounts, perhaps he should just check he’s okay…

He gives the bedroom door a quiet rap, listening in momentarily before pushing it open. Frankly, he’d rather have found Sherlock with a cigarette in hand and the whole flat torn to shreds for the level of surprise he gets upon reaching the bed. His first idea is to scream bloody murder, but that might annoy Mrs Hudson, and upon stepping closer, even in the sliver of daylight through the curtains, he sees the duvet riding down a little. The last thing in the world he ever thought he’d see: Sherlock in naught but boxers pressed against a half naked woman, his palm splayed on her bare thigh. Sherlock? Spooning? It seems so, his entire body pressed to this woman. John feels himself go rigid, his feet glued to the floor, his gaze unmoving from shock. 

It takes his phone to buzz in his pocket to get him moving, and when he does, all he tries to do is balance precariously on his tip toes in a wry attempt to get a birds-eye view of the whole thing. He’s not disappointed, or disturbed, once he does, though, his army agility proving useful. Sherlock’s hand is holding her, fingers entwined, just next to her chest. He wonders how comfortable it is, but if they’re staying this way, it can’t be too bad. Maybe all Sherlock needed to loosen up was a good shag. 

She’s wearing his shirt, too; Sherlock’s black dress shirt from the previous day. And Sherlock? He never seeps in anything less than a full set of pyjamas, he’s weird like that . 

This girl begins to stir, her lips parting gently, small hums escaping. Next, her eyelids flutter, and her hair shifts on the pillow. He didn’t make any noise, did he? John was specifically careful not to, just in case. He doesn’t fancy Sherlock’s wrath just yet. 

One eye opens, and she whispers, almost incoherently, “Hi John.”

How she knows his name and who he is, he’s not at all sure, because he doesn’t think he’s ever seen this face in his life. The hair is familiar, and maybe, if she were more awake, he’d recognise her smile, but he’s never seen a woman in Sherlock’s company beside Molly Hooper. Speaking of… 

Before he can even say anything, though, before he can ask who she is or if she wants tea or if she date-raped his roommate, she’s mumbling, and detaching her hand from Sherlock’s, rolling over. Dumbfounded, John just stands there and watches her cuddle into Sherlock’s chest, her arms wrapping around his torso like second nature. Even in his sleep, not consciously thinking about his actions, he grips her back - one hand resting just above her bum, and buries his nose into her neck.

John can’t help but smile to himself. Maybe their fight was for the best if Sherlock now has a girlfriend, someone he turned to for solace. So, he grasps for the top of the duvet and pulls it up over both of their figures, reaching their shoulders, and leaves, staring wistfully for a brief moment at the seemingly happy couple. 

The weight of the duvet of what startles Sherlock, though, stirring him a little, inviting him to him against Y/N’s skin, smiling with eyes barely open. This is really nice, he thinks to himself, not waking up alone. 

She smiles back blearily, and in her morning voice, whispers to him, “Kiss me Mr Detective.”

[buggiesbuzzing]

First Dates with The BAU

• It took absolutely forever for Rossi to ask you out — he only came to his senses after Hotchner cornered him.

DAVID ROSSI

• Both of you are BAU agents and you had only been on the team for a few months; Aaron started to see Dave get distracted by you and he finally confronted him about it.

• David invited you over to his place for dinner and a movie, and honestly when he asked you over, you nearly fainted.

• You arrived 15 minutes early, so you ended up sitting in your car giving yourself a pep talk until it was exactly 6:30, which was the time agreed upon.

• When he opened the door, he was speechless.

• You were dressed like you'd been going to a charity ball. You were absolutely dazzling.

• He didn't hesitate to step aside and let you into his home.

• The smells. The warmth. Everything felt like something out of a dream.

• Rossi told you stories and charming jokes over dinner; he made you his favorite meal, carbonara.

• The evening was going really well and your face had started to ache from how much you'd been smiling.

• Overall the night felt like a dream, other than the fact that you'd drank a bit too much wine when you were trying ease your nerves.

• Rossi ended up snatched your keys and gave you a pair of pajamas to change into.

• He'd picked out some classic Italian film for you guys to watch after your meal, and you snuggled up to Dave's side to watch it.

• After the movie, he led you to a guest room in his self-proclaimed mansion and got you into bed before saying goodnight and leaving.

• Unbeknownst to you, he checked in on you every half hour for the next 3 hours before passing out in his own room a couple doors down from the one you were in.

• You woke up the next morning to Dave with a cup of coffee and an over the counter pain pill.

• Dave gave you back your keys and said his goodbyes before letting you head off to work.

• You always had a go bag stashed in your car, so you didn't bother driving home, and you headed off to Quantico.

• When you had gotten into work, Derek approached you, but before he could say anything about your sunglasses or your clearly disheveled appearance, you held your hand up to silence him and scuttled to the bathroom, go bag in hand and dreading all the questions you'd be asked today.

• Aaron had met you during a case, seeing as your brother was their unsub.

AARON HOTCHNER

• You instantly felt a connection when he first spoke to you, but didn't act on it until nearly 6 months after the case was closed.

• Agent Hotchner gave you his personal number if you'd ever needed to talk and one day, you took advantage of that.

• It was the anniversary of your brother being put in prison and you were exceptionally emotional - which ended up in a sad and tipsy call to the agent.

• Aaron's day was just going to be dedicated to paperwork from his latest case, but he decided he'd get to it another time.

• You were a hot mess when Hotchner arrived, but you couldn't bring yourself to get off of the couch and fix yourself up.

• He quickly picked up on what you were going through; a few cans of fruity flavored beer were semi-crushed and sitting on your coffee table along with a pint of sugary sweet ice cream and what looked like a nest of blankets was piled up on your couch.

• He easily made his way through your apartment since he'd been there before and got you a glass of water to try and help sober you up.

• He talked you through your tears and pain, all while making sure you were well taken care of.

• Before you realized it, it was 5pm and Aaron was still sitting beside you on your couch.

• For the last few minutes, you'd been watching some old kids shows in silence; it was just something that helped you calm down and he was actually enjoying the time he'd spent with you.

• You got up from the dent in the couch that you'd been wallowing in and stretched.

• There was no way you were going to cook tonight, so you ordered a couple of large pizzas to be delivered.

• Both of you had eaten pizza and you chattered about some whacked out theory about the show Rugrats, while Aaron just listened and made sure you were distracted from whatever turmoil that your brothers villainy had caused.

• When the day was over and Aaron was ready to return home to his son, he gave you a card for a support group that he thought would benefit you.

• And that's where you expected it to end; after all this was just him doing his job, right?

• Wrong.

• He showed a kind of bashfulness that you absolutely did not expect from the stern man, and he asked if he could take you out on an actual date.

• Obviously, you said yes.

• Your first date wasn't ideal, but, both of you enjoyed your time together.

DEREK MORGAN

• Derek went to a club with Penelope and Emily when he first met you and right off the bat he was into you.

• You started talking and instantly clicked — unfortunately, he couldn't spend the night with you due to being called into work, but you set up a date to see each other again, then you exchanged numbers and he disappeared.

• The first few times you'd try to go out on a proper date with him, he'd keep getting called into work beforehand, so he'd have to take a rain check.

• Finally, he was actually free for a night and you invited him over to your apartment for dinner and some drinks.

• He arrived only seconds after the clock struck 5PM and god you were awestruck as soon as you seen him.

• This man made you question how clothes could be tight and yet, still seem loose.

• Happily, you let him into your home which had a warm glow and atmosphere; your lights were dimmed, soft music was playing throughout the house, the delicious scent of food being cooked was in the air — it was amazing.

• You made an array of drinks for the both of you and conversed about anything either of you could think of.

• Derek charmed his way into dancing around the room with you before you'd have to take the food you were cooking off the heat.

• Dinner was about the same; the male joked and chattered, throwing out compliments here and there.

• The night seemed perfect, you even got in a couple of smooches — and then his phone started ringing.

• You understood when he had to leave, which was around 10PM.

• He promised he'd make it up to you and take a full vacation day for you, so you could have a date night at his place next.

JENNIFER JAREAU

• Originally, the plan was for you to be Henry's caretaker while JJ was working — though it deviated sometime after about 6 months of being employed by her.

• You had major crush on your boss, and sometimes, it felt like she was in the same situation; though you doubted it.

• One night before tucking Henry in for bed, he said he wanted to tell you a secret.

• “Mommy really likes you. . .”

• That simple phrase made butterflies become trapped in your stomach, but you tried to push them down.

• “I really like her too. . .”

• It felt good to actually say it.

• Now, confiding in a little kid about you liking their mom wasn't too wise; the secret wasn't kept for more than a week.

• Jennifer approached you one night after she'd came home from work — Henry was already asleep in his room and you were doing coursework for college when she asked to have dinner with you tomorrow night.

• You didn't even hesitate to accept her invitation.

• The place wasn't very fancy, but that was 100% fine with you.

• It was a small 24 hour diner outside of town that had the best breakfast that you'd ever eaten.

• The two of you chattered about how Henry's fine motor skills and how his speech was developing, and how your classes were going.

• The night was perfect, she even went out of her way to drive yourself to your place — even though she insisted you stay at hers because it was rather late, but you needed to get some housework done, and chose to go home.

• That night, you spent nearly an hour thinking about the date before passing out.

SPENCER REID

• The good doctor met you during a case not too far off from Quantico.

• You were doing an hands on internship with a medical examiner and Dr. Reid happened to come by to get autopsy details and the toxicology report from a recent string of homicides that the BAU was investigating.

• Almost instantly, he struck something in you and you couldn't keep your eyes off of him.

• The way he spoke so factually on the unusual way that this ‘unsub’ tortured his victims before they succumbed to death, just made you more interested in the supposed genius.

• Sooner than you'd hoped, the BAU wrapped their case up and you were in fear that the chance to actually talk to Spencer was about to slip between your fingers.

• That was until Spencer and Agent Rossi came in one last time.

• You swallowed the nervousness bubbling inside of you and quickly asked him for his number.

• To your surprise, he actually gave it to you rather quickly.

• He was just as entranced with you as you were with him.

• One night, you'd gotten off early and decided to invite Spencer over to your apartment.

• You'd fixed up a simple meal for the two of you and make sure your apartment was in tip-top shape.

• When he arrived, you were in awe. He was dressed up in a suit, which wasn't far from what you'd first seen him in, however he was glowing.

• He looked like he'd slept pretty well, he was donning a soft smile and holding out a small bouquet made up of red carnations, yellow jasmine flowers, and multicolored hibiscuses. They complimented each other well.

• You, of course, gracefully accepted the bouquet and welcomed him into your home, situating the flowers in an elegant vase at the table.

• You and Spencer spent the night talking about anything and everything; you found his knowledge fascinating and beautiful.

• The date ended in you both passing out intertwined in each others limbs on the couch while a cheesy rom-com played out on the TV.

EMILY PRENTISS

• Emily first seen you while you were doing an interview with Hotchner to join the BAU.

• The agents of the BAU sat, staring into the office as you smiled sweetly and spoke to Hotchner about your experience in criminal psychology and communications, and thus far he seemed intrigued.

• It was almost instantly that Emily was enamored; you were just too beautiful for her to ignore.

• About half an hour later, you and Hotch exited the office, he shook your hand with a look of accomplishment on both of your faces.

• With a loud clearing of his throat, any remaining agents or passerbys turned their attention to the head agent as he prepared to make an announcement.

• Applause erupted as your eyes scanned the room, landing on the black haired beauty that was SSA Emily Prentiss.

• “Will you please welcome our new agent, Y/n L/n, to the BAU.”

• You situated your new desk with the few belongings that you'd had in your bag.

• The work day was coming to an end while other agents put away any remaining paperwork that they'd been working on and out of the corner of your eye, you spotted the pretty agent from before approaching your desk.

• Obviously, you agreed and headed out with the rest of the group.

• “Hey, a few of us were going out to get drinks, and we were wondering if you'd like to come with us to celebrate you joining the BAU?”

• Agent Hotchner bought the first round of celebration drinks and made a toast in honor of their new agent.

• Not too long after the toast, Emily sat beside you and formally introduced herself before making conversation.

• The two of you spent the night learning about each other and talking about what your job may entail.

• After a while, and about 4 drinks, you were taking a cab with her back to her place.

• She insisted that you spend the night at her place and meet her cat, Sergio, and you agreed.

• The rest of the night was fuzzy, but you woke up in a bed that was unfamiliar with a cat laying on top of you and the smell of pancakes and bacon filling your nostrils.

• You carefully moved, the cat hopping off once he'd realized you woke up.

• Gently, you walked to the kitchen to find Emily cooking breakfest looking lively as ever.

• “Good morning, hotcakes.”

• With a nervous chuckle, you awkwardly asked if anything had happened between the two of you the night prior.

• “Oh heavens, no; we were both much too drunk. I slept on the couch.”

• A huge sigh of relief came from you as Emily sat a plate of food in front of you along with a couple asprin and a coffee.

• You thanked her for her kindness, but she waved it off with a pink tint rising to her cheeks and ears.

• You ate breakfast and headed to work together.

• Once you entered the BAU, SSA Morgan began wiggling his brows at Emily, earning a playful punch to the shoulder.

PENELOPE GARCIA

• You first met the effervescent Penelope Garcia when SSA Derek Morgan came into the ER with some minor injuries due to their latest mission; she, of course, was freaking out.

• “What if he's really hurt? Or — or —”

• She enveloped you in a hug, thanking you for your effort to calm her down, and you hugged her back with a comforting squeeze.

• “Don't worry, Miss Garcia, he only has some scrapes and bruises, he'll be back to normal before you know it. We're just making sure that he gets the proper care he needs before he can return to work.”

• After guiding her through some simple breathing exercises, her heart rate began to lower.

• Only moments passed before Derek came out with a smile and they had a small chat, which included Penelope scolding him for being reckless.

• Savannah came and picked Derek up, leaving you and Penelope alone in the empty waiting room.

• “Hey, so Miss nurse - sorry I didn't get your name. . .”

• “Well, Miss L/n, would you perhaps like to go out and get a drink with me, sometime?”

• “It's Y/n, Y/n L/n.”

• And with that, you got her number and met her the next week at a high end restaurant.

• You brought her some assorted roses and made sure the meal was paid for, although she tried to pay you, but you told her not to worry about it.

• You spent the night listening her speak about the things she was passionate about.

• Unfortunately, about half an hour passed by before you'd gotten called back in by the hospital.

• You drove Penelope to her apartment and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

• “I really enjoyed tonight, Penelope.”

• “I did too, Y/n, but next time I'm paying the bill.”

• She giggled and gave you a quick smooch before shuffling into the apartment, leaving you flushed as you headed back to work.

• “So there's going to be a next time?”

tags :: @wordvomit-foryourmind

[bitchinbarzal]

VALENTINES DAY PROMPT LIST 💌

it’s the month of love 🤍💌

this prompt list has the same rules as normal, if you’re not familiar please recap below;

when requesting please send in the full prompt and not just the number. this makes it easier for me, the writer. if you don’t do this and just send the number your request will be deleted no questions asked.

you can find my list of who I write for here 💌👼🏼

1. “I used to hate this holiday a much before I met you”

2. cheesy valentines proposal

3. "I knew these were your favorite flowers, so I had to get them for you"

4. "I don't need anything material, I just want a whole day to have you by my side and celebrate our love"

5. "really can't think of anything more romantic than officially dating my favorite person on this day"

6. “She’s my tiny valentines!”

7. “He’s my tiny valentines!”

8. "I haven't gotten a valentine's card since elementary school, but wow, this was my first real one"

9. Valentine’s Day baby

10. "I love you so much for this but I am not cleaning up all these scattered petals later"

11. "is proposing on this day a bit too cheesy? look at the ring I got them, though"

12. "it's my first time having someone to celebrate valentine's day with. that makes it extra special!"

13. "in my defense, they didn't have a smaller teddy bear in stock. hope you have some space in your bedroom"

14. " promise it's a nice thing. just close your eyes and don't cheat!"

15. "it's so nice being able to call you my valentine"

16. "valentine's cards aren't outdated, right? it's something everywould would like to receive, right?"

17. "good morning! do you know what day it is today? no? well, guess you're in for a surprise, then"

18. "yes. yes, I'II be your valentine!"

19. "have the people who make these cheesy movies seen how real people spend valentine's day?"

20. "if we're gonna pretend to be a couple, you need to let me get you a bouquet at least. it's february 14th!"

21. "It's Valentines day today?"

22. "I made dinner reservations." "So did I. Surprise?"

23. "Supri- oh shit you're not [name]?

24. "There are flowers on the doorstep." “Who from?" "I think that you have a secret admirer."

25. "So is that a yes?"

26. "Hey, the movies made this look so easy!"

27. "You told me you wanted cliche, so I got you a teddy bear."

28. 'Im sorry, but have you ever looked in a mirror?'

29. Post-it-notes

30. “I’ve been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because I know you're going to look so good and I need to try and match up."

31. "Your lips are really warm."

32. "Why are you holding a blindfold?"

33. "This isn't how I pictured our first Valentine's day."

34. "You don't think you went maybe a bit overboard?"

35. "This reminded me of you."

36. "| never thought driving around could be romantic"

37. "do you love me or chocolate more?"

38. "Will you be my Valentine...forever"

39. "hi, my love."

40. "come on, we're going to be late!"

41. "you're so prettv..."

42. "well don't you look nice."

43. "how did you manage to do all of this?"

44. "whatever you want, it's yours."

45. "i must have done something amazing to deserve someone like you."

46. "you made this?"

47. ” this our what? third year celebrating together?"

48. "you're beautiful."

49. " know you don't like chocolate so...i have enough conversation hearts to last us three months."

50. "you guys make me sick."

51. "we get it. you're in love. go make out over there or something..."

52. "be my valentine?"

53. "if you don't hurry up and ask them out, i will”

54. Taking your daughter on her first valentines date

55. "Wanna get a coffee with me?"

56. "Have dinner with me. Tonight."

57. "Do you want your present or not?"

58. "I guess we'll just have to share the bed."

59. "Come over here and kiss me."

60. "Don't tempt me."

61. "Admit it, there's something between us."

62. "I'm your secret admirer."

63. "Don't give me that look."

64. "Wait. Is this a date?"

65. "Wanna bet on it?"

66. "Come on... you know you want me."

67. "I need to tell you something."

68. "Can I kiss you?"

69. "Something tells me that you have a crush on me."

70. "You know you can't resist me."

71. "How can someone be so hot yet so clueless?"

72. "Any excuse to get me to undress, huh?"

73. "I'm in love you with you, you idiot!"

74. "In your dreams, darling."

75. "You know I'm a romantic at heart."

76. "This is the best day ever."

77. "You scrub up pretty well."

78. "Hey! You're on my side of the bed."

79. "I have a surprise for you."

80. "See? I can play nice sometimes."

81. "Please, don't leave."

82. "I don't believe you."

83. "I'm not going anywhere, don't worry."

84. "Will you please just talk to me?"

85. "I didn't mean to upset you."

86. "Don't think I haven't noticed how you look at me."

87. "You're obviously in love with me."

88. "I think you're my favourite person in the entire world."

89. "Damn, you look incredible."

90. "Let's get you out of those wet clothes."

91. "This is… unexpected."

92. "Have you told anyone about us?"

93. "Let's make it official."

94. "Are you wearing a suit?"

95. "Your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner doesn't need to know about this."

[pbandjesse]

I'm walking in the woods right now. I'm on my way back to my building from riding horses which was fun but now my allergies are going crazy. I've decided that even though it's 8:00 I'm going to go home. I would like to take a shower and sleep in my own bed. Because while I love sleeping in the hammock I think being home has become a little bit more important to me this year. But today was a pretty good day overall even if I'm still pretty sore and I was very nauseous for a lot of it.

I slept okay last night. I did not get enough sleep for some reason. I don't even remember not falling asleep early last night I just didn't sleep good. And when I woke up it was 6:30 and I didn't need to be awake yet but I was and for some reason when I get to lay in bed for a half an hour just being awake I tend to feel better when my alarm does finally go off. And beyond being nauseous this held true.

I left for work and was in a pretty good mood. I had a nice drive and got here before 8:00. There wasn't a lot for me to do today. Like set up-wise. I had done a really good job of getting everything ready already So I just made sure everything was clean and then I went for a little walk. I went to talk to Chris and make sure that buying adhesive at home Depot would be a reimbursed. And he said it was fine. So I will do that either tomorrow or Saturday. And then I just did a little walk around camp until I went back to the art building where I hung out in the hammock inside.

I was already really nauseous but I was also very anxious. Specifically about my hammock. Anton is a very great help but he loves laying in the inside hammock and I want to lay on the inside hammock so I put a wash on my stuffed animals in it and my book and hoped that if he came while I was walking to the nurse that he would not be inside of it but he ended up not coming today. So it was fine. But my anxiety was still very high.

I was going to work today working on my blanket. All 12 rows are completed and now they are sewed together in pairs. And tomorrow I hope to work on sewing the Paris together. And so far Louisa has been a huge help making sure that none of my pairs or rose were incorrect. We laid them all out and made sure and pinned and put notes on things so that things were being laid and sewn in the right direction and it was nice.

And the kids today made pretty good artwork. They were mostly on time which was surprising. And we didn't have any like great masterpieces today. Not to say they weren't wonderful but none like blew me out of the water. I think some of the problem is we have too many white socks. I think if I was to do this project again next year I will get way more colorful socks. Because we ran out of those like on Monday and those ones just look so much cleaner.

But the kids were good and they made good work and while I didn't feel very good everyone was really kind. And I had the counselors helping with the hot glue and while there was one or two small burns nobody was seriously injured which is always my concern.

I did not go to lunch because I had brought my Chipotle from yesterday with me. And I ate half of that and then I just turned off the lights and hung out in the inside hammock until my next class. I just really it did not feel good today and was happy to be alone.

I honestly wasn't sure it was going to participate in the counselor ride tonight because I was feeling so unwell. But I knew that if I didn't I would feel bad about that too so really there was no winning. My neck also just really hurts still and I would love for it to stop hurting so much but nothing seems to be helping. I'm hoping that going home tonight and taking a hot bath will help at least a little bit.

The afternoon groups were great. My day campers really seem to like the sock project even if they have to keep starting over over it over again. And when the stockade boys came a few of them even made some puppets including Jorge. Jorge always makes walruses and I thought it was very sweet when he made a walrus. I was not feeling great still though. And I was trying my best to not let everyone know how bad I was feeling but it was hard. I was talking to Louisa a lot about it today because she spent literally the entire day with me. And she worked on her embroidery and we just chit-chatted while the kids worked and during our breaks we both read Dear America books while laying in the hammocks. She's reading the Titanic one but I don't think she's going to finish it because she says it's already too sad. Which is true.

But she just wants to chit chat I had to be one point be like Louisa please let me read my book I only have 20 pages left. And I really didn't love this one there was a lot of parts where I felt like I missed something because she was skipping big sections but it was still enjoyable at the end and I'm excited to read my next one which is going to be taking place in 1919 which is a nice change of pace because I've been doing a lot of 17 and 1800s.

My last day group camp group left and I still had one more group which was my late pioneer group. I was not thrilled about having such a late group but they were very sweet boys and they did a good job. And they had lots of questions about my blanket which I was finally finishing sewing out the last pair row. And I was able to lay everything out and get it all rolled up and folded.

While we were folding it Elizabeth called me to ask if Louisa was with me and I was like yes she's been here all day do you want me to send her down and at first she said no but then Alexi let us know that her dad was there and wanted to say hello so I sent her to the office. And then the boys finished up and I got my stuff and went to dinner.

Dinner was not good. It wasn't that it tasted bad because I didn't eat any of it. What they had for people who do eat me it was jerked Jamaican chicken and some rice and vegetables. Which is fine. Except there was a very unclearness of about what was vegetarian what wasn't and then they finally brought the vegetarian option out which was like a vegetarian chicken and rice Jamaican inspired dish. Which I'm sure would have been fine not my thing but fine. Except I scooped up and it was still frozen. So I gave it back to the chef and then he said it would be a few minutes in the oven and I waited like 15 minutes but it didn't come out so I just had a couple pieces of broccoli and gave up and left.

Mostly because we were getting ready for the trail ride at 7:00 and I wanted to get going to ice first. So I went and waited by the office and read my book a little bit. And then the people that work up in horses. Braden, Laney, and CC from the pool were up there waiting for Kona ice as well. And they were running a little bit late so we were jokingly like yelling about Jimmy not being there when he was supposed to be. Jimmy is the man that runs the Kona ice truck. And once he was there we got our things and I walked up with them. And they walk so fast. I have little legs guys and I'm old. But I did my best to keep up with them and it was nice hanging out.

I got to watch them tack up the horses. And put all of the things together and then everybody else who was coming on the trail ride would slowly start coming through. Ty was coming as well as Antonio. Tony was there as well. Candella who I love. And I specifically loved that she kept yelling at the horses in very very fast Spanish. I got to ride on Denton. And he was a very well behaved horse.

Which was great because I don't know if you remember my ride last year when I was on Little bolt and he rode me into Elizabeth's car and then into a bush. Denton was a very good listener. And he let me pet his face and his ears and I even gave him some of my snowball. It was mango flavored.

When we did finally get to ride I was all the way in the back because Denton likes to kick. He did not kick anyone but he kept biting the horse in front of us. And I think I did a lot better with controlling the words this year. Specifically because the saddle fit me better and I was not in excruciating pain the entire time. My neck still definitely hurt but there wasn't a lot of looking all the way backwards so it didn't bother me too much and I was able to just kind of be chill about it.

There were like three times where I screamed. The first one was because I thought it was so funny when we were going downhill and he started to trot. I can't imagine what a cancer feels like because trotting seems so fast. And you don't really have anything to hold on to so at one point I started slipping off the front of the saddle because I was writing an English saddle that has no horn. And that was very scary. And then another time I almost fell off and my feet fell out of the stirrups and I started sliding and then I got a crane up in my leg and I thought it was going to die. It was very scary. But I was laughing the whole way through and honestly it was a really nice time. I like to talking to Laney who was riding behind me as our trail guide. And I'm really glad that they cut the trail rides from an hour to a half an hour though because by the time the half hour is done my thighs hurt so much. Thankfully they don't really hurt too much anymore as I'm driving home. But I still have a good time.

Once the trail ride itself was done we went into the ring and we were allowed to just kind of ride in circles and try things out. I got Denton to trot a few more times and I felt a little bit more in control and I got him to turn the way I wanted him to and I felt a lot more secure. I still don't know how you don't slide off the saddle but I was having a good time. Eventually though I did just want to get off of the horse. He kept trying to walk over the jumps and I did not enjoy that and I didn't know how to make him stop trying to do that. And I was very afraid he was going to jump for real. I was very much ready to be done.

Lady wouldn't let me use the stairs to get off of him and I was very afraid of sliding off the horse to get on the ground because my likes keep giving out but I was able to slowly slide down and get off and I did not die. I watched Denton back up to his little house and one of the other girls help me take his tack and saddle off. And then I gave him the rest of my snowball and said goodbye.

That is when I decided I was going to go. It's not as late as I thought it was going to be and I really still do not feel good. And I really think that me and showering and being clean and then being in my own bed will help. I really hope it does. At least emotionally.

I am writing this in the car while I drive home but I'm using talk to text so I feel like it's fine. I'm not looking at my phone at all so hopefully most of this is coming out and it's not nonsense.

I walked back up to the car after and enjoyed being in the woods. And now I am in the car and most of the way home. Tomorrow is going to be a long day but I still think it will be good. My plan is to work and then after my last program I got to get set up for next week and then make sure everything is put away from this week and then I'm going to help with pickup and the ceremony directions. And then I will get out of there. I'm going to go to home Depot and get the adhesive I need. And hopefully you'll be home around the same time and I'm getting home today. It's going to be a long day so I really hope this nausea goes away because it sucks.

I hope you all sleep great. I promise not to post this until I'm actually home. I love you all. Good night!

[once-upon-a-oneshot]

Game Over

Based On: “When You Sleep” by Mary Lambert

Summary: Frat!Harry only wants you when he’s drunk, and you’ve finally had enough

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 1.8K

Here I was for the third time this week pulling up to a frat party in the middle of the night. I didn’t want to be here, but, just like all the other times he had too much to drink, he needed me. Usually it takes a great amount of pushing past drunk underaged college kids to find him at these things. But this time, as soon as I reached the yard of the house, dimly lit by an array of neon party lights, I spotted a mop of curly brown hair, hunched over a bush.

“Yo! Harry dude! I thought we agreed no more puking in our bushes?!” Some frat guy was yelling at him from the porch. Harry’s only response was to flip the guy off and grin while using the bush to hold him up. “Finally! Your baby sitter’s here” The guy half-joked noticing my arrival.

Harry turned around to face me a little too fast, and he stumbled forward nearly falling. I tried my best to support him but there was no chance. I by no means would consider myself “small” or “petite”, but compared to Harry’s 6-foot, broad shouldered stature, he was too large.

“Hey! What’re ya doing hur?” Harry drunkenly slurred semi-regaining his balance.

“Haz, you called me, remember?” Normally I would’ve been embarrassed calling him anything but his name. But I’ve done this enough times to know, in the morning, he won’t remember any of the words exchanged tonight.

It took nearly an hour to get Harry back to my dorm room. Our new personal best. It’s not that I live far from the frat house, it’s more the process of getting Harry here. The trip usually goes something like, helping Harry stumble to the car, pulling over at every traffic light so Harry can throw up, finally making it to his apartment (which is past my own apartment), Harry begging me to help him to his front door, Harry realizing he “forgot” his keys, Harry asking if he can just crash at my place instead, me driving Harry back to my apartment, helping Harry stumble into my dorm.

It took about the third time of this routine being repeated for me to realize the coincidence of Harry forgetting his keys every time he went out, got shit faced, and called me to come pick him up, wasn’t so much a coincidence. And even though it was the same thing every time, I never skipped the step of driving to his apartment, because I knew it meant he’d have to verbally ask me if he could stay with me. And in some sick way, I got off to hearing his lips form those words. It was something so small, but something that meant so much to me. And he knew that. Drunk or not. I knew what the morning would bring, but for the night, I’d listen to Harry’s slow, peaceful breathing as he slept.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of Harry attempting to tip-toe around, collecting his things before I’d wake up. And just like every other morning, I lay perfectly still, letting silent tears hit the pillow, while I listen to the boy I love try to pretend he was never here.

LATER ON CAMPUS

“Hey (Y/N), what did I miss in class today?” I swiveled around in the library chair to face the person who was speaking to me.

Before even facing him, I recognized the voice as a kid from my Biology class, who also happened to be from my hometown. We weren’t necessarily friends, but we engaged in small talk every once in a while. Although I knew who it was before I turned around, I didn’t expect Harry to be standing there with him.

“Oh, uh, not too much.” I focused as hard as I could on my classmate to keep from looking over at Harry. I could feel his eyes burning into me, but I was too embarrassed to look at him. “I can send them to you if you want.”

“Sick! Can you email them to me right now, so I can print them right quick?” I wanted badly to make up some excuse for why I just had to leave and send the notes later, so I could get far far away from Harry. But when I opened my mouth, “Sure” is all that came out.

The guy sat at the computer across from me, and Harry sat down next to him. I fixed my eyes on the computer screen and tried to steady my shaky hands enough to hurriedly send the notes. All the while Harry continued to stare.

As soon as the notes were sent, I logged off the computer and packed up my things. In order to get out of the library I had to pass Harry and the guy, and it was just my luck that the guy had gotten up to go print. As I passed Harry, he grabbed my wrist stopping me. I finally looked into his green eyes, but he didn’t say anything, he just continued to stare like he had already been doing.

“What?” I asked getting uncomfortable with the intensity he was looking at me with. He just shrugged in response.

Once Harry noticed his friend walking back to the computer, he quickly released my wrist, and turned around, as if nothing had ever happened.

Things have been this way with Harry since I met him. Since the day I became his. He knew I had a crush on him, and it gave him some sort of ego trip. Even though he knew I already wanted him, he wanted to make sure it would stay that way. So, whenever he felt like I wasn’t paying him enough attention, or he thought my yearning for him was slipping away, he’d throw me a bone to keep me begging. Initially I made the mistake of thinking this meant that by some chance, he wanted me the same way, but he proved time and time again (through his actions and his words), this wasn’t the case.

And after months of taking whatever treatment Harry would give me. I finally snapped. It happened one night at a party. I was drinking, and I didn’t know he’d be there. I spent the night avoiding him. I was afraid of what drunk me may say or do once I got around him. When he entered a room, suddenly I had somewhere else to be. When he needed another drink from the kitchen, suddenly I wasn’t thirsty anymore. When he wanted to join on the beer pong table, suddenly I was bored of the game. And Harry noticed.

I was on the second floor of the house on my own, exhausted from dodging Harry all night. I leaned my back against the wall of the hall after the stairs reminded me just how buzzed I really was. I guess Harry spotted me heading up stairs because I heard footsteps on the stairs, before he appeared at the top of them. Without saying anything, Harry glanced over his shoulder, before walking and standing directly in front of me. He put an arm up on either side of my head, trapping me between him and the wall.

“I didn’t know you were gonna be here.” he said too casually for our position. “Are you mad at me or something?” This took me by surprise.

“What?”

“You’ve been ignoring me all night.” Again, his tone was way too casual for the things he was saying. But honestly, that’s always how Harry played it.

“You mean living my life? Enjoying the party? Not worshiping the ground you walk on?” Harry’s only response was a smirk. That’s when I started getting angry. “Look I’m too drunk to even be having this conversation with you right now Haz, so can we ju-“

“What’d you just call me?” Harry questioned raising an eyebrow at me. I froze. I was so drunk and emotional that I had accidentally let it slip. But upon processing the look on Harry’s face as something almost resembling distain, my embarrassment turned to pure anger.

“What do you want from me Harry?!” anger was thick in my voice as I pushed him backwards further from me.

“What are you talki-“

“No. Don’t you dare do that! Don’t act like you’re clueless. Like-like you haven’t been playing games with me since we met!” He said nothing. Instead he just stood staring at me. An emotionless expression painted across that beautiful face.

I wanted to stay angry. I wanted the fire burning inside of me to push me to finally walking away from this toxic man. But seeing that there was truly nothing there, the anger fizzled out to simple exhaustion.

“Look, we both know you know how I feel about you. And we both know you don’t feel the same way. But you play with my head. You flirt with me just long enough to wrap me around your finger. And then silence. Just like I never existed. That is until your hold on me starts unraveling again. It’s just some big twisted game for you. It’s like when you can’t have my attention, you suddenly want it.”

“It’s no-“

“I’m not done. For once in the history of whatever the fuck this thing with us is, it’s my turn to talk, and your turn to just listen. And I want you to listen good, because this is the only time I’m ever going to say.” I waited for some sign from Harry to let me know he was really paying attention.

He nodded so I continued.

“I can’t keep being a pawn in your torturous game Harry. It’s not fair to me. You’re breaking me apart and you don’t even care. The thing that hurts the most Harry,” I fought the tears for as long as I could, but the alcohol made it nearly impossible “is the fact that I know I could make you so happy. I would do everything in my power to give you the world. Hell, I basically already do. But you’re so blinded by “not wanting to be with me” that you don’t even realize how good I am for you. How good I am to you. If you stop telling yourself you’re not allowed to love me, I guarantee I’d make you fall. But if that’s not what you want. If you really, truly don’t even want to give me a chance, I’m done. I’ll have to walk away before you finish draining what little of me, I have left. And if that’s what it comes to, I’m begging you, please just let me go. No more games.”

Harry just stood and, like he so often did, stared. Blank. I felt like I was frozen in that moment and all the air had been sucked from the room. Unfortunately, I could feel myself began to sober up as I stood in anticipation of Harry’s response. I wished like hell I was still drunk, because maybe it would’ve hurt less when Harry finally spoke.

“I’m sorry,” he began backing away back towards the stairs. “I’ll leave you alone.” And with that he spun on his heels and trotted back down to the party.

[jaybird-redhood]

propinquity

wc: 2.2k

pairing: jason todd // gn reader

The first thing you think when you see him for the first time is that he has the cutest smile.

That’s a lie, the first thing you think it that he is so incredibly in shape, and it looks great on him, but the smile thing sounds better in your head.

He's moving into the apartment across from yours a month after you moved into yours. Weird, because the two people in your building closest to your age are 2 and 63, respectively.

You suppose that some wicked twist of fate must’ve brought this upon you for missing your cousin’s birthday party last week, because the guy standing across from you is crazy hot. And looking right at you. And you are in the huge neon Wonder Woman t-shirt that your best friend got for your birthday last year.

Yeah. Karma.

“Nice shirt,” the guy offers, holding in a grin. “You’re really making it work.”

“I-”

“See you around, neighbor.”

And with a shut of a door and an awfully charismatic smirk he’s gone.

The next time you see him is a week later, and this time- luckily, you think- you’re dressed somewhat put together. You run into him while unlocking your door.

"What's got you in a twist?" he asks.

"Um," you start, "I just. Ugh I have so much to do. Like 3 hours of homework, a lecture tomorrow that I cannot skip, and I'm completely out of bread and eggs and can't even you to the store until, like, Thursday at best."

Once you start rambling you can't seem to stop. You slouch against your door. You're not entirely sure why you're telling a stranger all this, but he seems to be listening, so you suppose that’s a good sign

"I get the feeling," he offers, and you look up at him. "I'm majoring in English Lit and my classes are kind of kicking my ass."

You give him a small smile, "Glad to know someone in this building is struggling as much as I am."

"Jason," he says, and he reaches his hand out to you. "My name."

You shake it and tell him yours.

As you both turn back into your respective apartments you think that he maybe isn't as intimidating as you thought.

~

The next day goes by with a really boring lecture and another 3 hours of work you need to do.

The ride home from uni isn't that long, but it's long enough for you to contemplate all the ways that your life went wrong after moving to Gotham. And, maybe as payback for thinking mean things about the city, rain that you think should belong to a category 3 hurricane starts to whip around your car 10 minutes into your drive.

Your clothes are dripping water in literal puddles by the time you get back to your apartment.

Groaning, you start fishing for your keys in your purse while walking up the last flight of stairs.

When you get to your door you stop. Right in front of it there’s a grocery bag. Picking it up and looking inside you see a loaf of bread and a small carton of milk.

You pick it up smiling.

“Jason?” you ask, knocking on his door.

No response.

You shrug and turn around. Remember to thank him the next time you run into each other; you think.

~

That next time doesn’t happen to be that long and thank goodness for you.

“You know, we really need to stop meeting like this,” he says to you.

You’re sitting on the floor outside of your door looking rather pathetic, and he’s giving you the most awful smirk you’ve ever seen. (Not that it looks bad on him though. You seem to think that nothing could really look that bad on him)

“I swear I’m usually more put together than this,” you sigh to him. “You moving here jinxed me!”

“Yeah yeah. You’re locked out, aren’t you?”

You give him your best withering I’m going to kill you stare, but it must not be working because he just laughs even harder at you.

“This is completely not my fault it’s just I lost my second set of keys like right when I moved in and then today when I got home, I accidentally left them in my car, but my second set of car keys is in my apartment so now I can’t get them out, stop laughing at me!”

“God you’re a mess,” Jason says- finally finished laughing at you and maybe taking a bit of pity on how disheveled you look. “You couldn’t call anyone to get you in?”

You shake your head.

“My friend is the only other person with a set, but they’re out of town, and our landlord is being a dick and telling me it’s my fault in the first place, so I need to deal with it. I’ve been sitting out here for like an hour.”

“All I’m hearing is that it is your fault and now you’re just moping about it feeling bad about yourself.”

You tilt your head against the door so hard that it makes you wince a bit.

“Ok fine,” he says crossing his arms.

“What?”

“Wait right here.”

He goes into his apartment and comes back out with a skinny metal thing you don’t recognize.

You look at him in confusion and he just motions for you to scoot out of the way as he sticks it in your locks and starts to pick it.

You sigh in relief.

“Thank you thank you thank you. For everything. I swear I will get my life together, so you don’t feel like you have to keep cleaning up my messes.

“I don’t mind,” he says with a small smile, “Take your time.”

And with that he opens the door to your apartment and turns back to his.

“By the way, you should really get better locks. That was way too easy.”

You make a note in your head to get that done sometime. As you’re lying on your couch that night, you’re AirDropped a photo on your phone. Saving it up you see it’s a piece of paper with neat handwriting on it: a phone number and a smiley face, Jason’s name at the bottom.

You smile too and add the number to your contacts.

~

Over the next few weeks, you and Jason start talking more, both over text and through the various times when you run into each other outside your doors.

Each interaction is better than the next, and you soon start to realize that Jason isn’t just some hot guy with no brains. He’s sweet and charismatic, has a whole wall full of bookshelves, could probably quote any classical novel by heart, has incredibly good taste in music, and best (or worst) of all, would make incredible friend material.

It’s just that as you become closer friends, you start to realize that that might not be all you want.

It’s a stupidly cold Friday morning when he texts you, and you’re covered in blankets and wrapped in sweatshirts in your bed. Movie at my place tonight?

You text back your approval and a quick be there at 6 before getting ready for classes.

The day goes by slower than you hoped.

It might be the anticipation of seeing Jason again, or more likely the hours of lectures you have to sit through, but you’re elated when your final class for the day gets let out.

The hours in between are a blur.

A blur which leads to the two of you sitting on his couch watching Romeo and Juliet together, a blanket thrown over your bodies.

You have the obligatory bowl of popcorn resting on your legs, and every few minutes Jason reaches across your lap to take a handful.

The way you’re laying half on top on him is completely deliberate, as to take as much of his body heat as possible. Your landlord had turned off heating 3 weeks prior to ‘save money’ or some other bullshit.

Jason’s not complaining though.

Once your popcorn bowl is finished and your head is in his lap, he runs his fingers through your hair absentmindedly. It might be the nicest feeling you’ve ever felt.

Throughout the movie you exchange snide comments about the plot back and forth. You start trying to say funny things whenever you can just to hear how sweet his laugh sounds to your ears.

By the end of the movie, you’re only slightly in tears, or so you tell yourself.

“Are you crying right now?” Jason asks incredulously, wearing a teasing smile.

“It’s not my fault,” you half say half moan, “Leonardo DiCaprio just has that effect on me.”

He just laughs and pulls you upright until you’re sitting on his lap.

His eyes are a shade of blue green that you’ve never seen before, although you could swear their getting greener by the second.

You watch his gaze drop down to your lips before staring you right in the eyes again.

“Can I kiss you?”

“God yes,” you tell him, and kiss him right back.

~

The next week is somewhat uneventful, even though you and Jason had been meeting each other almost every night, rotating apartments based on whose house was warmer each particular night.

Tonight is your night, and you’ve been waiting the whole day to show him the film you had rented to watch together.

The walk up to your door is easier than usual, and you have a bounce in your step that’s making you feel even more elated than normal taking out your keys to unlock your apartment.

You open your door and your bag drops. The keys clatter when they hit the hardwood, and the silence that follows is deafening.

“You’re bleeding on my carpet,” is the first thing that comes out of your mouth.

There Jason is, bleeding quite profusely, and using your kitchen counter to keep himself vertical. He’s wearing what looks to be a torn half of a domino mask and an extremely hot leather jacket.

(Not that this was the time for noticing his fashion choices, but you filed that thought away for later.)

What really catches your eye though is the huge red bat symbol on his chest, and the red helmet next to it sitting on your counter.

He shifts a little to the side before stumbling through saying, “Um, so, I know this isn’t ideal and I’m really sorry to put you in this situation, but I seriously do not feel like bleeding out tonight and-”

“Oh my god this is great,” you cut him off with. “I thought you were a hit-man!”

“Wait what.”

“Shit no that’s not what I meant- kind of, hang on we should probably stop you from dying before having this conversation.”

You walk over to him to get a better look at his wounds.

“God Jace, you look like death warmed over.”

He just stares at you.

“You have a bunch of stuff in your bathroom, right?”

At least this elicits a reaction. He grimaces in pain but gives you a nod of his head in conformation.

“Ok I’ll be right back, don’t move.”

He gives you a look that says seriously, where would I go.

3 minutes later you’re back with a needle and thread, and some sterilizing spray.

“This should be fine,” you tell him, “I took a first aid class last year with my friends and passed with flying colors according to the nurse.”

“Just try to keep them tight and neat. I trust you,” he says, and your heart pounds just a little harder.

You respond with a nervous laugh but take a deep breath and start working.

~

An hour and a half later you’re done.

The combination of pain meds, bandages, and a whole lot of stitches eventually led to you and Jason laying in your bed together, both completely exhausted.

He turns his head to face you.

“Could we maybe go back to the hit-man thing?”

“Oh uh. Well I saw a bunch of shirts covered in blood in your laundry in the bathroom, not to mention all the weirdly specific first-aid you had,” you tell him.

“And also the assorted guns and knives you have hidden all over. I guess I just assumed? But the whole Red Hood thing is so much better,” you reassure him.

“You found all my knives?”

You smile up at him.

“I love that that’s thing you chose to focus on.”

“And you’re really not mad that I didn’t tell you about the whole vigilante thing before?” he asks.

“Jay, I had already resigned myself to life forever with some shady hit-man that also happened to be incredibly good looking. Red Hood is ten times better than that. I’m not going to run away from you just because you’re incredibly intimidating and probably could kill me. I see that as an added bonus,” you say, with as much charm as you can muster without yawning.

“Just. Be careful, ok? I’d hate to make this a routine.”

He responds by pulling you closer to his body.

“I promise,” he whispers into your head. “You really to remember to get better locks by the way, breaking in was still way too easy.”

You let out a small laugh and finally you let yourself give into sleep.

[simplee-dreaming]

The Party

A/N: I spent far too much time deciding how all of their outfits were gonna look so I hope it paid off. Also, I know some things I mention have different names in different countries but I've gone for what I only know as the British version. Hope you like it! (Totally didn't get inspiration for this idea from driving past a joke shop myself...)

Word count: 2951

Summary: The reader attends her first themed party hosted by RDJ, but her outfit lands her in trouble.

------------------------------------

Tonight was the night. The night you had been waiting for for weeks. A party at Robert Downey Jr’s house. But not just any old party, oh no, a party for the Avengers cast. Not even just a party - a themed party.

See, Robert is well known for his themed parties. Of course he’s done the classics such as the black and white theme, the 80s theme, even the “dress as your favourite superhero” theme - what could be more suited? But he’s also well known for his unique themes. For example: dress as what you wanted to be when you were a kid; dress as your favourite fruit or veg; dress as another member of the cast; dress as your favourite gay icon. The list goes on.

This was your very first party with the cast though. Being the newest member, you were super excited to have a great night with them all outside of work - plus little Tom couldn’t stop guessing what this theme could be. It was, of course:

“Dress as your favourite board game.”

Yep. Board games.

You spent ages trying to figure out what board game you were going to dress up as. The main rule of the themed parties was that you couldn’t tell other people what you were going as unless you deliberately needed someone else to complete your outfit.

You were desperate for ideas now that the party was only a week away. It wasn’t until you were walking down the highstreet, and something in the shop window caught your eye, that you finally had an idea. You were standing outside of a joke shop, and in the window stood a dress...designed like a Twister mat.

Perfect.

The day had finally arrived. No one was filming today so you had all day to get yourself ready. Hair and makeup done, Twister dress on, ready to rumble.

You made your way to RDJ’s house at half 8 - late enough to not be the first one there but early enough to enjoy everyone’s company for longer. You smiled with glee as you stepped into the house. You were tingling with excitement as you walked towards the room where the music played. The minute you walked into the room, everyone approached you. And one by one you scanned them all to see what they were dressed as.

The first person you saw was Anthony, he was dressed up as Cards Against Humanity. Not quite a board game but funny nonetheless. The front of his outfit was completely black and the back was completely white. The writing on his front read “I drink to forget _____”, and the writing on his back read “Tom Holland”. You giggled.

Next was Scarlett. She decided to come dressed as Pictionary. Part of her outfit was made with polyester and nylon, and she carried around a whiteboard marker so that anyone could draw a picture on her outfit and others had to guess what it was. This could also be wiped off easily, ready for the next person to draw.

Sebastian was next, you snorted when you saw him. He was dressed as Frustration. His outfit was divided into the four colours: his top right being yellow, top left being green, bottom right being blue and bottom left being red. He had placed a semisphere plastic hat over his head and inside lay a foam dice which jumped about whenever he shook his head.

After Seb came Liz. She was dressed up as Uno. Her front and back were two different colours of the uno reverse card - the front being red and the back being green. The point of this is that whenever someone asked her to do something she didn’t wanna do, she’d just point to her outfit and get out of doing it.

Next was Paul B. He came as Trivial Pursuit. Random questions and answers were plastered all over his suit, such as: “how many feet are there in a fathom? 6”; “What three-word slogan was named the most popular advertisement ever in a 2000 poll? Beanz Meanz Heinz”; and his own personal saying, “Where do snitches end up? In ditches”.

Following Paul was the unsurprising double act. Big Tom and Hemsy. They had come dressed as Snakes and Ladders. Tom had glued a giant toy python to his all-black outfit, and Chris had stuck a cardboard ladder to the front and back of his all-white outfit. Simple, yet effective.

Then came Evans who was dressed as Noughts and Crosses, despite numerous comments from RDJ about it not being a board game. His back was full of paper noughts and crosses stuck to his top but his front had a similar material to Scarlett’s where the cast could play their own game on his front and then wipe it off for the next players.

You scanned little Tom next. He had gone all out with his outfit, dressing up as Operation. He was wearing a light pink coloured top and matching trousers and had stapled all the pieces of operation to their correct areas, such as the butterfly, the spare rib and the wish bone. He’d also used face paint to paint his nose a dark shade of red. Adorably creepy in a way.

Last, but certainly not least, was the man himself. Robert Downey Jr. He came as the popular game Cluedo. And boy did he look fancy. He wore a top hat that had a giant question mark stuck to it, and a tuxedo with a long sweeping tail attached to the jacket. Neatly placed all over his black suit were the names of the suspects, the names of the rooms and the names of the weapons - all written in white. He looked splendid.

“Twister. How unusual. I love it,” Robert said, the others nodded in agreement.

“Thanks, you all look incredible,” you said.

Little Tom held out his arm and led you to the dance floor where you spent the next hour dancing the night away. Big Tom and Hemsy were owning the dance floor with their moves. Many party classics blared through the speakers, including 5,6,7,8...which you knew the dance off by heart but RDJ had to be taught the moves by you and little Tom.

Another hour passed and you were sat with Scarlett, Liz and Paul in the other room where the music wasn’t so loud. Seb was with you but he had asked Liz to get him a drink and she played the uno reversal so now he was on drinks duty.

“Paul, can I borrow your suit just so I can literally look smarter?” You asked, he chuckled.

“Maybe I can just follow you around and relay the facts for you,”

“You could be the Yoda to my Luke. Though I think you’re too big to sit on my back,” you said.

“Here’s your punch,” said Seb, returning with two cups for him and Liz.

“Finally, what took you so long?” she asked.

“I stopped in the party room, Anthony and little Tom are having a competition to see who can do the macarena better,” he said.

“But...the macarena is the macarena…” you said, confused.

“Try telling them that. Tom insisted that the Brits do it better apparently.”

“Well, we do have some absolute bangers,” you chuckled. Paul agreed.

“So where did you get that dress?” Scarlett asked you.

“The joke shop down the highstreet. I was walking past it last week and found it in the window. Thought it would be perfect,” you shrugged.

“Until Mackie gets over excited and plays Twister on you,” Seb said.

“I’d like to see him try,” you replied.

“Ah, here’s the gang. What are you all doing in here?” Robert said, entering the room with big Tom and Evans.

“We’re just sat chatting….wait, have you left Holland and Mackie alone?” Seb asked.

“They’re fine, Chris is with them,” Tom replied. You tilted your head at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe I should check on them…” Tom said, you nodded and he left the room.

“Soooo, how’s it going?” Evans asked everyone.

“We’re all fine but Y/N is a bit twisted,” Seb said. Everyone laughed but you bonked him on the head, making the dice jolt.

“Oi!”

You giggled and slapped the plastic hat again, the dice landed on a 6.

“Eyy I get another go!” You cheered before bonking him on the head again. He sighed but chuckled.

“Well it’s nice to see her dressed as an actual board game,” Robert said, turning to Evans.

“Hey, that’s not fair! Noughts and crosses is a board game!” Evans protested.

“I wanna play,” you said. Evans smiled at you.

You got Liz to play with you and you went first. You decided to play as noughts and took the bottom left corner. After a few rounds, you got a straight diagonal line. You cheered as Liz huffed, but she congratulated you nonetheless.

“I wanna play pictionary now,” you said, turning to Scarlett. She smiled and handed you a whiteboard pen. You thought for a moment then began drawing.

You pressed down on Scarlett’s outfit to make sure you could draw properly. You ran the pen down her stomach and she giggled.

“Hey, careful, that tickles,” she said. You blushed and apologised but continued. Everytime the pen went over a certain spot Scarlett would giggle but she never flinched.

“Okay, I’m done,” you announced. Everyone leaned forward and groaned once they saw it.

“Really? You know none of us can say that,” Seb said.

“First one to say it correctly wins,” you shrugged. You had drawn Mjolnir, something that everyone struggled to say.

“Midge-oh-lair,” said Liz.

“Mjohn-ler,” said Seb.

“Me-joln-ier,” said Evans.

“Hey! It’s Mjolnir!” came a voice from the door. Hemsy had just walked in with Mackie, little Tom and big Tom.

“We have a winner,” you grinned and everyone groaned again.

“Okay now I wanna play snakes and ladders,” you said. You scrambled to your feet and launched yourself at Hemsy, climbing up his tall body and clinging to him like a koala. He laughed.

“Okay, and what do we do now?” He chuckled. You shrugged and hugged him tighter, he returned the favour.

“As nice as this is, princess, I can’t carry you around the rest of the evening,” Hemsy said.

“Alright, hang on. Gotta complete the game,” you said. You motioned big Tom to come nearer and leaned over to hug him. Your legs followed and wrapped around his waist before you slid down his body and landed on the floor. Tom laughed.

“Impressive,” he said. You lay flat at the floor and looked at him, giggling.

“You’re very playful today,” big Tom said.

“I’m just happy to be here,” you giggled, he smiled at you.

“Alright my turn, I wanna play twister,” Mackie said, launching himself at you.

“WAIT!” You cried, panicked by his sudden movement. Mackie didn’t listen.

“I’m not doing anything! I need someone to give me an instruction,” he said.

“Right foot red,” Seb said. Mackie lifted his foot and put it on the first red spot he could see, directly on your tummy. You giggled as he adjusted his foot, rubbing it against your tummy.

“Noho Anthony!”

He looked and realised what he was doing, then smirked and vibrated his foot on your tummy again. You giggled louder.

“The twister mat is making noises, how do I turn it off?” He asked.

“Um, try putting your left hand on yellow,” little Tom piped up. Mackie grinned as he spotted a yellow spot on your ribs. He put his hand down and gave them an “accidental” squeeze.

“Hehey!” You shrieked.

“Didn’t work Holland, anyone else?” Mackie said.

“Try right hand green,” Scar said, smirking. Mackie placed his right hand on the green spot on your side and squeezed again.

“Stohop!” You cried.

“Right well that didn’t work, and I can’t put my left foot on it otherwise I would break it. Any other ideas?” he said.

“You may have to push a few buttons, try turning it off and on again,” Paul said. Mackie squeezed your ribs and sides again and shook his foot on your tummy. You screeched loudly.

“Nope, still making noises,”

“Let me have a look,” Liz said. Mackie had you pinned below his hands and foot. You started to giggle as you felt a single finger run up your neck.

“Nonono Lizzie!” You squeaked as she dragged a nail up the other side.

“There must be an off button around here,” she teased. She gently scribbled all her nails into your neck. You scrunched up your shoulders and shrieked.

“NOHOHOHO!”

“Definitely not here, you sure it’s not there Mackie?” Lizzie asked. Mackie squeezed your ribs and sides again and your giggles turned to laughter.

“Nope, no no, that’s made it worse,” he said. “Someone try a blue spot!”

Evans jumped up and ran over to help. He found a blue spot right on your hip, he placed his hand over it and started squeezing.

“NAHAHAHAHAHA!” You screamed. Trying to buck your body was impossible with Mackie still pinning you.

“Dammit Evans you turned the volume up!” Mackie yelled.

“Maybe the problem lies outside of the mat itself,” big Tom piped up.

“What you saying Hiddleston? That we’re the problem?” Mackie asked.

“Not at all, just that there appears to be parts connected to the mat, but not part of the mat itself,” Tom said, putting his hand on his chin. He slowly approached you and swiped a single finger under your knee. You kicked it away.

“Now it’s malfunctioning,” Mackie informed him. Tom hummed and swiped a finger under your other knee. You kicked again. He then spider tickled under both your knees and you shrieked loudly.

“PLEHEHEASE I’M NOHOT BROKEN!” You screamed.

“God DAMN you made it talk!” Mackie yelled.

“I know what the issue is,” Robert said, stepping forward.

“Do go on?” big Tom said.

“You need to hit all the pressure points at once. It’s like a giant reset button, wear it down till it reboots itself,” he said. Everyone looked at each other.

“Position yourselves,” Robert instructed.

Mackie stepped off of your stomach and knelt by your left side, Seb knelt by your right. Lizzie was still up by your neck and big Tom by your knees. Scarlett was by your right shoulder, Paul by your left. Evans positioned himself by your hips, little Tom the other side by your thighs. Hemsworth and Robert sat next to your feet.

“Nonononono please!” You cried.

“Rebooting systems in 3…” Robert began.

“No please!”

“2…”

“Wait!”

“1…”

“No wait I’m not brOHOHOHOKEN!” You cried as everyone attacked you at once. No one was pinning you down but you could hardly twist and turn with 10 people tickling all your spots at once. They were all ruthless and yet...you sort of loved it.

“PLEHEHEHASE NOHOHOHO!” You cried, flailing your arms around. Mackie and Seb were squeezing up and down your sides and across your tummy, Lizzie was tickling deep into your neck, Scar and Paul had just caught an arm each and pinned it upwards so they could tickle your underarms, big Tom was scratching under your knees and squeezing the tops, Evans was squeezing and scribbling into your hips, little Tom was scratching up and down your thighs and Hemsy and Robert had grabbed a foot each to tickle. It was pure torture.

“KEEP GOING, IT’LL WEAR DOWN EVENTUALLY!” Robert yelled over your screams of laughter. Everyone picked up the speed and you screamed louder than ever before.

You now had your arms and legs pinned by Scar, Paul, Robert and Hemsworth so you tried to buck your hips as much as possible and scrunch up your shoulders to protect your neck but it was no use.

“NOHOHOHO MOHOHORE!” You cried. You let out another loud scream and fell into a silent laughter. Tears filled your eyes to the point where you couldn’t even see Lizzie kneeling over you.

“Reboot complete,” Robert instructed. He stopped tickling your foot and one by one the rest of the cast followed and ceased their attack. You lay there, taking in deep breaths of air.

“You alright twisty?” Mackie asked, sliding up to your head. You nodded, letting out residue giggles. Evans gave you a hand up and propped you up against the sofa.

“You...are...all...evil…” you breathed out. Everyone chuckled.

“You were in a playful mood, we wanted to join,” Evans said, winking at you.

“I never knew you were so ticklish,” Hemsworth said.

“So would you be if 10 people ganged up on you,” you replied. He laughed and nodded in agreement. Little Tom sat down next to you.

“You okay?” He asked, pulling you in for a hug. You nodded.

“Yeah...that was fun,” you clamped your mouth shut after realising what you just said.

“Fun eh?” little Tom teased, quickly spidering your side to make you giggle again.

“We had fun too if that’s any consolation? Could go for round two if you want,” big Tom said. You looked at him and smiled.

“Not today I don’t think, you guys well and truly broke me,” you said, everyone laughed.

“I think I’ve already decided on the theme for next year,” Robert said. Everyone turned to him.

“Tickle Me Y/N,” he said, “where everyone has to bring a random object to tickle Y/N with. First to make her say stop wins.” He winked at you and you blushed and hid your head in little Tom’s shoulder. He chuckled and stroked your head.

“Now that will be a fun theme,” Mackie replied.

[mrkcore]

𝐄𝐏 𝟏: 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓 - 𝐥.𝐡𝐜

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: lee donghyuck x fem!reader

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: college!au (cs - computer science major haechan, psychology major y/n)

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, slight angst

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): suggestive innuendo(s), infidelity, drinking

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.2k

𝐚/𝐧: the first chapter of the and they were roommates! series :D send in an ask or comment here to be added to the taglist! (sorry for the delay, i have been really unproductive so uh, yeah)

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

you’ve been stuck with haechan for about a month. you’ve successfully avoided him for the majority of the time, he’s still a bit flirty, but he’s been pretty quiet too.

except for when he streams. did he mention that he was a streamer? unfortunately no, you had to find out the hard way.

“haechan, can you fucking tone it down?” you storm into his room after enduring half an hour of his screaming on a thursday night. “i have an essay due tomorrow and it’s 30 percent of my mar-”

you see a professional looking mic, webcam, and another monitor with what seems like comments flowing in constantly on the screen.

“oh…” you trail off taking in all the equipment in front of you as haechan looks up at you.

“oh hey, sorry about that, jeno and renjun were being noobs and i needed to teach them a lesson, chat knows. i’ll keep it down, sorry.” he turns back to his game in front of him, completely unbothered.

“yeah.. uh sorry for barging in, thanks.” you say quickly and dash out his room, hearing the other voices from his headset laugh.

your face is hot, and you feel so embarrassed. 

anyways, lesson learned.

a few days later, you were complaining to your friend about haechan on a zoom call–as usual.

this time, however, she needed to spill the tea about her thoughts.

“ma’am, what is this tension,” she jokes. “i can feel it from miles away.”

“hey!” you snap back. “need i remind you that i have a boyfriend? and haechan? ew no, he gets on my nerves too much for that.”

“oh right, your boyfriend.” she rolls her eyes.  “i think you need to visit him, you’re so uptight all the time, i’m gonna get wrinkles if you keep complaining to me about shit.”

“oh right, restrictions have been slightly lifted, i can probably go visit him.” you remember reading about it in the news.

“yep, go.” your friend sips on her iced coffee and you laugh.

the next day, you go through with your plan to go visit your boyfriend.

all prepped and ready and you were going to walk out the door before you hear haechan coming out his room.

“oh, good morning, i’ll be out for a bit, maybe the whole day.” you say to him.

“good morning.” he yawns. “look at you all dolled up and pretty, where you going?” he smirks as you roll your eyes.

“visiting my boyfriend,” you scowl out. “now if you’ll excuse me, i better get going.”

“oh great, hope you enjoy your time with him.” he smiles and you think he’s going to be nice for once. “don’t forget protection.”

you groan. of course he had to ruin it.

“thanks haechan.” you yell behind you as you walk out the door.

it takes around 1 hour to drive to your boyfriend’s university, and an additional 10 minutes to his apartment, and you’re giddy the whole time. 

you’ve missed human interaction. 

and no, lee haechan does not count. 

you’ve missed the warmth and fuzzy feeling of an embrace, of having someone’s arms around you, protecting you from the outside world. 

you couldn’t wait to get cuddles.

hopefully your boyfriend likes this surprise.

gleefully walking into the building, pressing in the password to his apartment complex. completely missing the creaking coming from his room, but as you entered, you hear the voice of another person, who was definitely not your boyfriend.

you stomp right up to the door, and push it open.

there’s two people in the bed, and your eyes glower at your boyfriend.

“what?” the girl screams, scrambling to cover herself.

“babe?” your boyfriend is frozen on the spot as the girl looks at him as if he just said the most bizarre thing ever.

“babe?” she seems angry now. “you said you were single? what the fuck?”

“yeah, i think he lied to you.” you say coldly. “do you have anything to confess, ‘babe’?”

“you’re a douche, what the fuck.” she gets up and gets dressed. “i’m so sorry, he told me he was available, i would literally never agree to sleep with anyone who’s taken.”

“yeah, it’s okay.” you say, kind of relieved, and the two stare are you like you’re an alien. “at least now i know what type of person i was dating.”

and you turn to walk out.

“wait, babe please.” your ex tries to run after you. “y/n, let me explain.”

“no need to, we’re over.” you turn to say. “you need a ride?” you ask the girl.

“yeah sure.” she says. “don’t call me.”  

“babe please, can we talk this out?”

you couldn’t believe it. you drove 1 hour to see him and he has the audacity to pull this shit and expect you to just easily forgive? nope, lesson learned.

pfft, and he said long distance would work. 

“no we can’t, now if you’ll excuse us, we have somewhere else to be.” you grab the girls arm and walk out the door, slamming it in front of your ex’s face before he can catch up.

“do you have any plans for the rest of today?” you ask the girl after entering your car. she shakes her head while you smile. “great, any bar or night club recommendations you have?”

“uhh, bar then nightclub?” she suggests. 

“i like the way you think.” you giggle. “i’m y/n btw.”

“yina.” she smiles back at you as you pull out of the parking lot. 

a few hours later, and way too many drinks in, you’re at a table with yina, spilling your deepest secrets about your relationship with your ex.

“can you believe he made me wash his socks?” you take a sip before continuing. “and with my hands too!”

“what? that’s disgusting!” she listens to you rant in disbelief.

“yeah, he said that his socks were precious and the washing machine was too harsh on the cotton or some crap.” you snicker as you recall the other stupid stuff he told you. “ah the shit i did for love.”

“men are trash,” yina says. “cheers to that.” and you both down the rest of what’s left of your drink.

fast forward another 2 hours, you’re wasted. absolutely wasted. 

yina held you back a little bit, but its no use. you needed this.

“y/n, it’s like 11 pm, you’re drunk, i’m barely sober, i think we should call someone to come and get us.” yina tries to reason with you while you shake your head.

finally after 10 minutes of bickering, you finally agree.

“here’s my phone, you can call anyone.” you rest your head on your folded hands after handing her your unlocked phone. “anyone but haechan.” you start to doze off. “anyone but haechan…”

“hbbhng” you jolt up, feeling the warmth of your own bed. 

how did you get back home?

groaning, you feel your headache. you feel the vomit coming up your throat as you gag.

you almost fall trying to get out of your covers.

“woah there, be careful.” haechan is suddenly barging into your room, holding onto you so you don’t fall on your face, guiding you to your bathroom.

you’re too nauseous to wonder why he’s even helping you or even bother screaming at him like usual.

he pats your back soothingly as you vomit into the toilet.

“there you go, that’s it. i’ve got you.” he reassures you.

“what are you even doing helping me?” you’ve washed up and downed some water, you’re 100% sober now.

“wow,” haechan chuckles, rolling his eyes. “after saving your ass last night, this is the thank you i get?”

“what do you mean you saved me?” you’re genuinely confused by what he means.

“this yina girl called me from your phone, telling me that you’re blacked out drunk in a nightclub at 11:32 PM, on a saturday. asking me to come and get you.” he says, matter-of-factly. “i call a cab, get to the nightclub, haul your ass out the club, drive yina back home, and then us. where during our commute back, you wake up, start crying, and when we get home, you’re bawling about how your boyfriend cheated and you were a dumbass for thinking he would change. remember now?”

you’re in shock.

yina called haechan? you remember clearly that you told her not to, this is so embarrassing. you even cried about your ex to him? oh dear lord you wanted to crawl back into your room into a deep pit and never come out. 

haechan must’ve noticed your distressed expression because his face turns softer.

“hey hey hey, sorry, that was a bit mean. you just got out of a relationship, that was really inappropriate of me and i do not blame you for wanting to relax a bit.” he tries to comfort you once again. you’re in even more shock by his words. “honestly, me driving you back home, and taking care of you was the least i could do. it would have been so mean if i just left you guys there.”

you wanted to burst out into tears. 

this is the nicest thing you’ve heard in about 6 months.

unfortunately, haechan doesn’t know that.

“oh gosh, jheez, i’m not helping aren’t i.” he’s panicked by your emotional state. “uhm, to make it up to you, i’ll watch one of those scary movies with you?”

your tears instantly are sucked back into your eyes in excitement.

“really?” you ask, just making sure.

“yep, ahaha.” he laughs nervously, but happy to see your mood lighten up.

“you free tonight?” bouncing up and down practically.

“yeah…” haechan is a bit scared. “aren’t you going a bit too fast though, princess? you jut got out of a relationship.”

you gasp and slap him in the arm.

“okay okay! that was a joke. yeah i’m free, i have an essay due, but i’ll be done by 6.” haechan says.

“sounds good!” you b-line for the kitchen, your stomach is completely empty. “see you then haechan!”

oh how haechan regrets his offer.

6 o’clock rolls by, and you choose “the shining” to watch with haechan. anticipating the terror it would bring him. 

and you were right.

every jumpscare, even the smallest sounds, haechan would screech in fright. the last straw for him was the knock on your door.

“AHHHH!” he screams, almost knocking the popcorn out of your hands.

“calm down, dude.” you say, standing up to open the door.

to the unfortunate sight of your ex.

“y/n?” he says, softly.

“what are you doing here? how did you find out where i lived?” you were very sure you never gave him your dorm address.

“your friend gave it to me,” the eye bags he has are very evident. “listen, can we talk?”

“no?” haechan suddenly butts into the conversation. “you literally cheated on her, she doesn’t owe you anything.”

“who are you? her rebound?” your ex frowns. 

“her roommate, and if you even bothered to keep up with y/n, you’d know.” haechan returns the frown.

“it’s between me and y/n, you have no business telling us what to do.” your ex is getting more aggressive now.

“that’s funny, i was the one who was called to drive her home while she was out drunk, i was the one who listened to her talk about how she regretted believing you again, i was the one who held her hair back when she was vomiting this morning from her hangover.” haechan again returns the energy. “you tried to contact her, but she blocked your number and you had to get her address from her friend. you never even cared to ask her beforehand, and now you wanna try and show up to seem like you care? bullshit. now if you’ll excuse us now, we have a movie to finish.” he slams the door in his face and haechan surprises you for the millionth time today.

your ex bangs on the door for about 3 minutes before giving up, and you guys sit in silence as the movie still plays.

“hey haechan.” you try and start.

“AHHH!” he screams again, scaring you this time.

“JHEEZ BRO I WAS TRYING TO START A CONVO, CHILL OUT.” you scream back.

“okay, i’m fine, yeah sorry, continue.” haechan pants out.

“thanks for that.” you say, genuinely. “not even joking, you didn’t have to do that.”

“well i did, because that dude was a douche. literally having the guts to come over here and try and ask for forgiveness after he cheats. unbelievable.”

“yeah.” you fiddle with your fingers anxiously.

“i like this side of you,” haechan breaks the awkwardness. “you’re usually uptight, little-miss-perfect, and cranky, so i like this raw side of you.”

“mhm, i realized that now. sorry for being such a bitch.” you admit.

“no, i honestly deserve it. but i hope we can be friends now, it would be great to have real conversations with someone, you know?” he says.

“seriously?” you hit him in the chest as he chuckles.

“i’m joking! i swear. but seriously, friends?” he asks.

“yeah, friends.” 

and that’s where it started.

© mrkcore. 2021.

[1engele]

daybreak | sal fisher x fem!reader - 6. high

Previous | Next

[warnings: SMUT (it's female receiving oral), weed]

"i think of you in colors that don't exist." — Watching Sal shift repeatedly in his seat and squirm uncomfortably the entire way home is almost comical. You watch him shorten the distance between his thighs and then spread them over and over again as he drives, smiling to yourself.

"Doing okay over there?" You ask, a giggly lilt to your voice as you sit still in your spot.

The feeling between your legs is still buzzing and the engine rumbling your seat beneath you is a bit.. overstimulating.. but you're decent.

"Hmm," he hums in response, squinting your way. "Stop baiting at me," he teases.

When you pull into the parking lot at Addison's Apartments, the both of you remain seated for a silent moment, after Sal pulls the keys from the ignition. The high from moments ago has dulled down, and you're left to soak in what exactly had happened.

Except you don't. You don't even think about what had happened—you barely meet Sal's eyes, nervously grin and reach for the passenger door handle. "Alright, see you tomorrow, let me know what your dad says, text me, goodnight!"

Before the blue-haired boy even has a chance, you've opened the car door, hopped out, and gently shut it behind you. You weren't looking for him to catch up to you, either—so you ran like mad into the apartment complex and took the stairwell instead of waiting for the junky elevator.

When you'd gotten home, you were light on your feet and tiptoed through the living room towards your bedroom. You'd took note of Sal's earlier tactic (taking his shoes off before he entered the apartment) and mirrored it.

When you'd finally gotten to your room, you collapsed onto your bed, comforter beneath your back, and stared up at the ceiling.

Your mind was blank. You couldn't even mentally conjure the words to describe what had just happened.

As you ran the earlier events through your subconscious, you remembered the feeling of his teeth and mouth on the flesh of your neck—and how he'd sucked on it until it hurt. You jumped from your bed, ran (lightly) to your bathroom, turned the light on, and peered into the mirror.

You pushed your hair from your neck—which was stuck to your skin from sweat—and gasped in horror at what you saw.

Sure, they weren't fully formed and hadn't reached their full potential, but those were hickeys. Blood red, slightly purple, forming hickeys. And, from what you remember.. you'd attacked his neck worse than he had to you.

The boy was practically translucently pale. You burned with shame at yourself because of the purgatory you'd subjected him to. He'd have to hide them for a week.

You closed your mouth after hanging your jaw open for 30 minutes and breathed out slowly. Despite the nightmare they'd be to hide.. it was almost nice to see on you. Something of him was left behind. At least you had something to remind you that what had played out tonight occurred and hadn't been a dream, or something.

You pressed your fingers on the marks and winced. They were sore.

After a shower—a cold, icy shower—you retreated into bed. You were so exhausted, you didn't dream.

What felt like moments later—you knew better to say it was, though, because there was early morning light shining through your blinds—you were jostled awake by a cold hand on your shoulder. You groaned, turning to the person and squinting.

"Mom?" You slurred tiredly, taking in Michelle's dim silhouette looming over you. You almost couldn't tell who she was at first before you'd rationalized that the only person who'd be shaking you awake in this ungodly hour would be your mother. Also, you could tell by the work uniform she wore. "Wha'?"

And although you were half-awake, your mind was rational enough to remind you to pull the covers up and conceal the bruises on your neck, which you knew had probably worsened.

"The school called," her words are like a bite. You expected this, but hearing her confrontation is sort of scary. "Not only did you receive detention yesterday, but you skipped it. You're lucky you weren't suspended—I had to lie and blame family emergency for your disappearance."

You didn't say anything, staring up at her and into her eyes.

"I can't believe you. You'll still be attending detention—they've rescheduled it for today. If you pull a stunt like this again, you'll pay the price, got it?"

You couldn't remember the last time she'd scolded you. It's not like you did much to warrant it. You never had someone before recently to play hooky with—or to cheat answers off of in class. You never had friends before.

"Okay," you reply, breaking away from her eyes and looking anywhere else. Eventually, her dark gaze rips from your face and she leaves the room.

You watch your bedroom door that she'd closed behind her—listen to the muffled shuffling and jangling of keys in the living room, and when she finally shuts the front door, you breathe out a sigh of relief and roll over onto your back.

And you smile. Because it's funny. Because she has no idea what you did with a boy last night.

You reach beneath the covers and fish for your flip phone (which you'd started sleeping on, a habit spawned from paranoia) and open it. You know it's early, but you slept before receiving any texts, so maybe...

There's nothing. He hadn't messaged you.

Eventually, you roll back over and give yourself another hour or two of sleep. It's too early to start getting ready.

When you woke up again, you got ready—threw on a black halter top, along with an a-lined, purpley-blue plaid skirt. Slid your feet into over-the-knee black socks and rolled them up your legs and to just below your thighs. Topped it off with a chunky black shoe.

After that, you spent a moderate amount of time on your hair and a little on your face.

You made it a point to wear flavored lip gloss. For no particular reason.

The hickeys were still a bit visible, so you topped off your outfit with an oversized denim jacket. You didn't think that much about it. Whether or not that was a mistake would be decided later. There wasn't much you could do—you didn't own all of the makeup necessary to cover them.

You meet with Sal in the lobby first. You approach him before he's noticed that you're even there—standing with his eyes on his feet, kicking the ground and toeing at nothing.

"Hi," you breathed, unsure of yourself.

His head raises. When he meets your eyes, the light fixture over you flickers. "I can see them," Sal says, stepping closer to you and inclining his head to examine your jawline and below.

The actual is a bit abrupt—you're momentarily started. That is until you've processed what he'd said.

"Yeah," you agree, shrugging. He looks back up at your eyes, his gaze widening. "I can't do anything about it."

He laces a hand through his hair and genuinely looks panicked. That's when you decide to examine him—and his neck.

"Holy shit, Sal," you breathe, a laugh of pure disbelief slipping off of your tongue. "You look like someone choked you."

Sal groans. "Yeah, pretty sure you used teeth."

"What're you going to do about that?" You choose to disregard his prior statement.

"I have an easy way out. I'll claim Travis did it yesterday. Super suspicious because I wasn't bruised this way at the time.. but-"

You meet his eyes with a deadpanned expression. Internally, though—it's almost humorous.. the fact that neither of you are even questioning what you'd done together. But you knew that would bite you in the ass. You'd only done what you'd done once—maybe it shouldn't happen again.

"I don't know, Sal." You press your lips together, smooth the gloss around. You taste artificial cherry flavoring on your tongue. "They look like hickeys."

"No one is going to believe I've been given hickeys, Y/N."

"They'll believe it whenever they see we've got a matching set!" You exclaim, meeting his gaze warily. You struggle a bit. Before, it felt so easy to make eye contact with him—but now you could barely lock eyes without looking away.

"Matching set?"

You jerk, breaking your staring contest with the floor and sliding your eyes upward. Larry was a few feet away, speedily approaching as his long legs closed the distance. Quickly, you split your hair in the back—separating it into two sections and placing one on either side of your face.

You watched Sal mess with his in the corner of your eye.

Nervousness made your heart drop what felt like ten stories when Sal spoke in reply. "Hey, Larry," he says. "Is Ashley driving again?"

"Uh, yeah," He replied, running lanky fingers through his lengthy brown hair. "'Was thinking we could all do something after school."

You hold your breath.

"Oh," Sal takes a moment to swallow thickly. "Y/N and I are doing detention—so we can't."

Larry's dark brows draw downward, casting a shadow over his deep eyes. He glances over at you, examines your face, and then locks eyes with Sal like he had been moments before. "Again? Didn't you guys do that yesterday?"

You decide to give your response this time. "Must've been a misunderstanding. We did go to it yesterday—we just, um.. have to do it again. Today."

Before he can further question the situation, you all hear the beeping of a car horn outside of the complex. It sounds familiar—it's Ashley's car. You all step outside.

Looking at the pale silver Ford Fiesta leaves you with mixed feelings. It's nice to look at—but now it just reminds you of the fact Larry tried to get into an altercation with Sal inside of it.

This time, Todd is in the back seat by himself. It's almost comical. You raise an eyebrow and look towards Ashley in the driver's seat. She rolls her window down and acknowledges you with striking green eyes.

"Shotgun?"

You almost feel bad for leaving Sal in the backseat, knowing he's probably on edge with those marks on his neck. But you can't help yourself as you run around to the other side of the vehicle and climb into the passenger seat beside Ashley.

"It smells great in here, Ash. I forgot to tell you that last time," you smile as you breathe in the familiar strawberry scent.

"Thank you!" She grins. "Yeah, I really like these car fresheners."

The guys get into the back seat—Sal's in the middle, having climbed in first, to Todd's left, and Larry entering last.

Once the doors are shut and all hands and feet are inside of the car, Ashley shifts gears and gets going. She looks to you, then throws a look over her shoulder toward Sal. "How was detention, troublemakers?"

Your eyebrows furrow, about of stupidity washing over you. Even having discussed this with Larry and Sal only moments ago, you've completely forgotten that they thought you'd attended detention.

"Huh-"

"It was great," Sal cuts in. "We sat for hours and did nothing. A lot of fun."

You come to realization quickly, and look up to meet Sal's eyes in the rearview mirror. He's shaking his head in lighthearted disappointment—a glint of amusement in his blue gaze.

"Yeah," your laugh trails off. "Sal couldn't sit still. It was funny."

You smirk deviously. That was an obvious reference to last night, on the way back to the apartments.

He meets your eyes once again in the mirror in front of you. "Don't bait at me," he warns, but you hear his grin. That's what he'd said when you'd laughed at him last night.

You smirked, shifting in your seat. You smelled cigarette smoke and guessed Larry was smoking again. It doesn't smell regular, though—smells a bit grassy.

"You're fogging up the car, Larry! It'll be your fault if we crash!" Ashley confirms your suspicions as she yells over the sound of rushing wind. He's rolled down the window—it fails to eliminate the smell but clears your line of sight.

"Sorry," he grins around a cigarette. It was nice to see him in a better mood.

"Have any of you decided on the plans for after school?" Todd speaks up for the first time day, absentmindedly fiddling with his flip phone. It's not any of your business, but you wonder who he's texting. Every time you see him, he's playing with his phone.

Larry laughs, pulling the cigarette away from his lips. "No. Thought Sal or Y/N would have some ideas, but they can't even go. They've got detention again."

Ashley looks toward you, awaiting your confirmation.

"We always had detention again. It was a miscommunication.." you trailed off, telling a lie. They didn't know that, though.

You watch Sal fiddle with his rings in the rearview mirror. "It's my fault, really."

You're not sure exactly what he means. He could be talking about the reason you'd even been given detention (attempting to share quiz answers) or maybe he was talking about the fact you'd even ditched detention—because he'd proposed it.

You disliked how easy he was to blame himself. You'd agreed to it.

And it wasn't something you found yourself regretting—not only had you received the pleasure of grinding Sal into oblivion in the driver's seat, but you'd came while you were at it.

Something you did regret, though... was doing that while you were so unsure of yourself—and what exactly it was that he wanted from you.

Not only that, but what did you want from him?

What was this?

"No, not really," you replied, after momentarily zoning out. "I agreed to it—to you... um- giving me those answers, Sal."

You hear his rings clack, keeping your eyes on the road, and on the broken white lines in the middle of the asphalt that pass beneath the car. You assume he's pressed his hands together harshly. "Yeah, well, it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't proposed it."

This conversation wasn't really about test answers, was it?

You hear the crackle of a cigarette. No one else seems to assume anything about the conversation—just two people who refuse to blame the other person.

"The only thing I care about is the fact that you have to deal with the repercussions, Sal. I wouldn't care if it was just me having to do detention."

That shuts him up. He doesn't say anything after that.

"It's okay." You say, one last time.

After that (thank god) Ashley reaches towards the radio and turns to a channel. Heavy metal plays through the speakers—not too loud, though—and although it's a bit unsettling considering your mood, the distraction is welcome.

As soon as you've stepped out of the car in the school's parking lot, you regret the fact you hadn't worn a heavier jacket. The denim jacket is oversized, yes—but it's lightweight and breathable and you can feel the autumn wind fluttering against your skin.

Goosebumps rise on your arms. You involuntarily shiver.

You, Todd, Larry, Sal, and Ashley begin the walk inside of the school. You still smell smoke, and a glance to your left confirms that Larry is still smoking that cigarette.

"A teacher will see," you warn lightly.

"Eh, it'll be alright." He looks at you inquisitively and raises it toward you. When you meet his eyes, they're bloodshot. Your lips part in surprise.

"Are you... high?" Your gaze flickers to the cigarette again. Turns out, it's a joint. Larry is smoking weed. Figures.

He doesn't answer the question. It's not like he has to. Instead, he raises it toward you again, quirking an eyebrow questioningly.

You swallow the thick saliva that had begun to pool in your mouth and look toward the rest of the gang as they continue on.

"Why are you looking over there?" Larry calls you back from your reverie. You look up to meet his blown pupils again. "You don't need anyone's permission. If you want to smoke it, smoke it."

You bit your lip, raising a hand. Your digits twitched as you reached to pluck it from him. As you took the blunt away from his grip, and your fingers brushed, his eyebrows twitched upward.

Nervously, you inhale like you'd done with the cigarette. You don't feel it enter your lungs until you've ripped it away from your lips. You don't want this to go like the first time you'd ever smoked, so you hold it in. Those few moments feel like forever—but eventually, you cough, and allow yourself that relief.

You don't feel high, per se. You've only just smoked it, but it was a big draw, and you're already feeling the effects of lightheadedness.

Your head spins as you absentmindedly drag from it again. You don't realize how long you've been inhaling until lanky fingers have grabbed the blunt from you and pulled it away.

You blink slowly, looking up to Larry in confusion.

"Holy shit," his red eyes widen, before laughing comically. You find yourself giggling as well, experiencing a high that wasn't from weed—but from the rush of trying something forbidden and new.

"You're going to be so fucking high," he laughs again, passing a hand through his hair and looking down to the blunt. "It's... gone."

You can't even remember how long you'd been smoking that shit. How long had you been walking? How far back had Ashley parked?

Conveniently, as he examines the used-up joint, you pass by a green trash bin. He opens the lid and throws the useless blunt inside of it.

A few moments pass as you step onto the concrete leading up to the school. You vaguely feel Larry's large hand gripping your shoulder to steady you. Even though you felt a bit woozy, you remember to keep your hair in place, covering the hickeys Sal had left on your skin.

When you've stepped into the halls, the amount of people walking all around and bumping into you feels a bit overstimulating.

You hoist your bag tighter over your shoulder and follow after your friends. You feel Larry's arm bump into yours every so often, reminding you of his presence.

When you reach your locker, you put your books away, arranging them accordingly, etc. Once you've shut the locker door, hard enough for the cage to rattle—you sort of.. just- stand there. It feels like your consciousness is somewhere completely different, and yet all of this noise feels like too much.

Your heart is beating way too fast and it hurt to stand up straight.

It didn't feel bad—but you'd certainly rather snort salt and pepper than have to function an entire school day like this. You felt way too floaty, like everything was swaying—you honestly couldn't deter up from down.

You don't know where the rest of the gang is, and you're too high to care. You wander down the hall, and continue like that, even when the bell rings and everyone steadily begins to file off and into their respective classes.

Desperate to be alone, and sitting down somewhere, you find a door. It looks like the door handle is growing dust, and there are no signs or labeling on the wood. So you turn the handle and try your luck.

Of course, it's locked. Why else would a school keep an unused room unlocked?

You dig into the denim compartments of your large denim jacket, blinking away the blear in your eyes as you search between the seams at the pit of your pockets. Eventually, you find a stray bobby-pin. Breathing out a sigh of relief, you stick it into the keyhole and wiggle and force it accordingly.

There were multiple reasons you knew how to do this. Your mother used to accidentally lock you out of your previous flats. It wasn't a hobby you'd picked up—it was something you were required to learn. At least, so you wouldn't have to sleep in the hallway at night.

The door eventually gives. When you've entered, you find yourself in a storage room. It makes sense. All of the junk was stored here.

Still high as shit, and becoming a bit nauseous, you close the door behind you. That shuts out any light, and you feel a chill roll over your skin. You couldn't see shit.

You make haste as you reach into your pocket again and rip your flip phone out. You pop it open, and soon enough, your eyebrows raise in surprise. The messages are a bit unclear, but they're visible once you focus.

Sal :) Missed Call (2)

Sal :) where r you?

Sal :) i'm looking for you. class is about to start

Sal :) larry's gone too. you're with him?

Before you type out a reply, you use the phone's light to search the room for a light source of some kind. Eventually, you find a shaded lamp. You feel around for a cord, and once you've found it, you pull a bit. Thankfully, it's already plugged in.. somewhere.

You return your fingers to the lamp itself and turn it on. Soft yellow light fills the dusty room, and you sigh in relief.

You try to disregard the floating dust particles, and sink to the ground, pressing your back against a wide, wooden desk. As you adjust on the floor, the cold tile momentarily presses against your bare thighs. You breathe in sharply, allowing yourself a moment before going to reply to Sal.

You are you in class?

Sal :) No

Sal :) where are you?

You i'm not with Larry. m alone. DK where he is

Sal :) sure he's skipped to smoke. where are you

You allowed yourself to look around the dimly lit room before replying. You swore you felt the dust sticking to your skin, and the skirt hugging your lower half felt too tight.

You shakily breathed in, and then breathed out. You repeated this process, shaky fingers gripping the phone tightly.

You bobby-pinned my way into some storage room i'm sitting on the floor so high rn lol

Sal :) i know where that is. coming rn . it's at the end of a hall, right?

Sal :) what did you smoke?

You blinked slowly, wiggling your thighs back and forth.

You you're correct.

You smoked weed

Before you could comprehend what was even happening, the door directly in front of you had opened. You blinked as white light constricted your pupils before they returned to their expanded state as the silhouette closed the door. While he did that, you reached up to the desk, slid a drawer open, and placed your phone inside of it.

You could've just put it in your pocket. You didn't know why you didn't.

He sunk to the floor in front of you, sitting criss-cross applesauce. His shoes were a breath from yours as you hugged your bare knees tightly. Your lazy eyes followed his movements as he clasped his hands around his ankles. He seemed to be watching your eyes—because when you looked up to make eye contact, he'd already been looking.

"Can barely tell what your eye color is," Sal says nervously. "Your pupils are blown."

"Is' just the dark," you chide softly. "I'm fine. My heart's just beating really fast."

"How much did you smoke?" He asks, his blue eyes—ever vibrant, even in this dingy lighting—searching your face. "Larry gave it to you, right? Jesus.."

You genuinely think about it. It seems you think about it too hard because the room began to rotate.

Maybe that wasn't just the high. You'd fallen onto your side. Luckily, you'd been sitting already—so it was a gentle collide with the cold tile. It felt nice against your cheek. You closed your eyes and watched the floating colors and shapes that look like nerves flash across the backs of your eyelids.

You fully press your side against the floor snuggling into it like it's the softest blanket you've ever slept with.

"Hot," you breathe. "Get this jacket off."

Soon enough, you feel purposeful hands sliding the denim off of your arms. It takes effort to get it off of the arm beneath you, but Sal manages. He balls the jacket up and slides it beneath your head. When your cheek meets the cool denim, you feel at total peace.

"Better," you open your eyes. He's watching your face. You can tell he's concerned, but there's something in his gaze—a look that tells you that he knows he's got this handled. He was confident in himself to take care of you.

He's probably experienced this before.

You roll onto your back, holding your eyes open to look up at the ceiling. Your eyelashes ghost your eyebrows as your imagination forms clouds in the shapes of the floating things you see.

Your skirt rides up your thighs a bit. You don't pay attention to it until you feel Sal's ring-clad fingers gently fixing it for you. You look at his face and smile.

"We need to do it again," you mumble. You don't feel the sickness of the high anymore—only complete clarity.

"Do what?" He asks, curiosity lilting his words.

"What we did in the car."

After those words roll off of your tongue, all that meets you is the intaking of breath. It's so quiet in this storage room that you can hear him licking his lips. You hear shuffling, the clacking of rings, and your breath—and for a moment, you believe he won't say anything back to you.

"I," he starts, swallowing hard. "You.. when do you.."

"How about now?"

You grin, meeting his eyes. He blinks a few times.

"Y/N, I-" he cuts himself off with a breathy laugh. You don't know if he feels nervous—or he just genuinely cannot believe this is happening. You wouldn't blame him, because you can't process it, either.

It's the weed boosting your confidence like this.

Then and again, you'd been confident with him during your first sexual encounter. Maybe the high just amplified that.

"As much as I'd like to," he starts, voice tight, "I don't know how well walking around the rest of the day having... uh— would go. I know it'll happen. We've got detention to sit in, too."

You pouted sadly but accepted it. He didn't want to, and that was fine.

"But, I, um.." his eyes flickered across your face. "I could go down on you."

The words surprised you so much you jerked upward and into an upright position. Your shock had also made you a dumbass, it seemed, as well—because you smacked your head straight into the wooden drawer you'd left open, which you'd put your phone in not even a few minutes ago.

"Ow," you winced, hand reaching up to rub the sore spot.

"Holy shit," Sal says, now closer to you. He closed the drawer (something you should have done way earlier) and blinked down at you. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," you breathed, meeting his gaze. "You'd.."

His eyes shifted to the left momentarily. "Yeah. If you don't want me to, that's fine. Your decision. I mean, I have no experience, besides things I've heard before."

You felt a bit giggly all of sudden. Your forehead was pulsing but it was fine. "I can always teach you. I mean, I've never had someone go down on me but I know what feels good."

Sal's demeanor seems a bit nervous as he glances around the storage room. "You want this to happen in here?"

You let out an abrupt laugh, holding your upper body weight on your elbows and arms. "Yes."

He chuckles along with you. "Alright."

Once again, you thank whatever intuition it is you have for swaying you into choosing to wear a skirt again today. You feel Sal's eyes burning holes into your skin as you grip the hem of your skirt and pull the material of your skirt higher on your thighs until it's bunched up at your hips.

His eyes—which, moments ago, were so blue and clear—had now grown a bit darker and looked as though a shadow had been cast over their pretty sheen.

"Did you lock the door when you came in?" You breathed, the ache between your thighs painful as he stares you down.

"I don't think it locks from the inside. We'll have to make it quick."

You're heart's never beat this fast before. And it keeps crashing against your ribs when he slides his fingers up your legs. He pulls your knees away from each other, and shifts so he's a bit farther between your legs.

You watch him slide every silver ring off of his digits, collecting them in a palm and sliding them onto the wooden surface of the desk beside him.

Your blood pumps in your ears so loud you feel like your brain is going to explode. That is, until you feel the pressure of the pads of his fingers right between your thighs, over the fabric that separated his fingertips from the burning heat there. Every other sense diminishes as your entire body focuses on what you'd just felt.

You instinctively gasped, never having been touched so intimately before.

You can tell he's shocked, barely having to glance at his face. You know he's nervous, but you don't believe he has reason to be.

"You're.."

"Wet?" You finish the sentence for him shyly, feeling completely dirty about insinuating something like that out loud. "The fabric is thin, but.."

"I haven't even done anything," he murmurs.

"Yes, you have," you reply, giggling quietly through your chest. "You're torturing me. Get on with it."

His hands shake as he reaches his hands behind his head and unclasps the buckles that hold the prosthetic onto his face. Before you can even take him in, he's turned the lamp above you off.

It's completely dark in the room.

"Can I.."

You know what he means when his hands brush the sides of your thighs. "Yes," you reply, instantly.

Sal hesitates. "Are you sure?"

You smile to yourself. "I am. Are you?"

"Absolutely," he mumbles, hooking his thumbs around the lace of your underwear and pulling it down your legs. You can't hear your heart anymore, thank god—you can only feel it. It beats unmercifully against your ribs as he daintily finishes sliding the fabric off of your body.

Sal barely moves after that. You guess he's put your panties in his pocket.

Before you know it, he's flattened the tip of his middle finger on the place between your legs. You shakily sigh as he barely dips a finger into the place your dampness had collected. He then slides his digit upward, spreading the wetness up and through your slit.

You know what he's doing—preparing you for what's to come—but you can't help it when his touch ghosts your clit. It takes a lot of self-control not to clamp your thighs around his hand—so you hold yourself back with a whine.

Sal stops when you make the sound, but his touch remains. "There?" He asks lowly—like now you're more at risk at being caught. There's no way, though. When you'd picked the lock, the doorknob seemed like it hadn't been used in forever.

"Yes," you whisper, barely lifting your hips to press into his hand. He uses more fingers this time—passing them through your wetness again. Eventually, he makes it back to that bundle of nerves, and gently circles it. You feel your gut tumble as he presses on it just eight.

"God, please," you sigh, settling on your back and raising a hand to grip at your hair. "Sal, I want-"

"Okay," he murmurs. You hear shuffling, feel him move. You know he's lower when his hair tickles the flesh between your thighs.

His breath fans over the apex of your thighs. You'd expect breath of this proximity to be hot—but it's cold and feels minty. It makes sense. That's how he smells—and whenever you'd kissed him last night, that's how he'd tasted.

What broke you from your musing was the feeling of his warm tongue flat on your sex. You throw your head back, dropping your jaw. You'd been waiting this whole time for that feeling—and now you'd gotten it.

Your skull feels like it's rattling (you had just thrown your head back and into the hard flooring) but you disregard that and focus on everything else.

"F-fuck," you stutter, as he rolls his tongue up and over your clit. You knew his memory was basically photographic—but you didn't realize he'd be able to find that spot every time.

He flicks his tongue over your clit in a way he hadn't been like he was experimenting. And it worked because you'd cried out and reached between your thighs to grip his blue hair.

He pulls away from your sex, exhales cool air onto the junction of your thighs and pants. "Gonna need to be quiet," he reminds you, his voice thick.

"I'm sorry," you swallow, before feeling him duck back down.

You shiver in anticipation as his mouth closes over the slope of your inner thigh, sucking onto your skin. You whine as he nibbles your flesh, barely closing his teeth over it before pulling away and returning to what he'd left.

Your spine arches off of the painfully hard floor as he closes his lips over your cunt again, flattening his tongue again and rolls it upward and back into his mouth.

It's not like he has a technique—he's just reacting to your reactions.

Your eyes are watery and fill with tears as you close them too tightly. Your fingers interlace with his hair, gripping close to his scalp and pulling just a bit. He hums in acknowledgment against your clit, and you feel that coil that had been steadily tightening in your gut began to tighten excruciatingly.

"Close," you breathe. "Please. Gonna cum."

Surely enough, he smiles into you, passes his tongue through your slit one last time before flicking it over your clit, and with purpose. He feels your legs spasm against his shoulders, so he flattens his tongue over the bundle of nerves.

That's when that coil in the deepest pit of your stomach unraveled.

"I'm coming," you whined. The feeling stuttered, you felt like you were teetering off of a cliff before it finally crashed over your body and through you harder than anything you've ever felt before.

He rode you through your orgasm—and it was hard not to clamp your thighs around his head.

"Fuck," your legs twitched as you came down, sighing as he pulled away from your sex. He panted, taking in the air quickly, before reaching up and turning the lamp on.

You met his eyes, pressing your thighs together as they shook.

"Oh my god," you exhaled, allowing yourself to soak in your shock. You watched him lick his lips before passing the back of his hand over them.

Sal seemed a bit lost for words himself. "Was that- um.."

You sat up—hiking your skirt back down with one hand while catching him by the nape of the neck with the other. You captured his mouth with yours, kissing him with fervor and want and appreciation. It took less than a second for him to reciprocate.

You didn't care if you could taste yourself on his tongue—it didn't matter much. It wasn't even bad, thank god.

After passing your tongue over his lip, you pulled away, eyes wide with shock. "I should.."

"I know what you're going to say," he cut you off, reaching into his back pocket with a smile. He hands you his underwear, and you close it in your fist. "And I'm alright. We've spent way too much time in here, anyway."

Your knee accidentally nudges between his thighs. Of course, he's hard. He was a teenage boy and he'd just made a girl come in a dingy old classroom at school during class. You felt bad.

"Another time." It's not a question. You're promising it to him.

"I.. okay." He murmurs, nervous in a way he hadn't been when he'd been eating you out moments before.

You watch him slide his rings back on, buckle his prosthetic back onto his face—and pretend not to notice how he adjusts himself as he stands up. You slide your denim jacket back on, slide your panties up your legs, and move to stand. You nearly fall back down when your legs spasm.

"Are you okay?" He asks, concern dripping off of his low voice.

"Fine. A little shaky," you breathe, gripping his arms and rising to your feet. You let go of him a few beats later and move toward the door. You forget your phone, but Sal grabs it for you and slides it into your pocket.

And as the both of you go to leave, you think about how the rest of the day will play out.

[comfortscripts]

May I Have This Dance? ¬ Steve Rogers

Plot - After retiring his shield, Steve's partner realises that he seems to be missing something.

Requested? Yes/No

Genre - ☁️️Fluff ☁️️

Note/Warning - Steve didn't return to Peggy after Endgame (I refuse to accept that ending honestly), I think this is GN but please let me know if I have used fem!pronouns, also the reader wears a dress in this so if you are uncomfortable with that be aware.

Word Count - 1.7k

After your husband Steve retired from the superhero living, life seemed dull in his eyes. You could see that his once vibrant baby blues had lost their sparkle, their joy for life.

Whilst him having more time meant that your relationship thrived, Steve was missing something and you were missing him being truly happy.

It was Sunday and a rule of the Rogers relationship is that Sunday was an "Old School Day".

No technology, no going to the city and no current news or media of any kind.

It took a while to get use to but you soon learned to love it because it meant that you had the whole day with your soulmate, no distractions. But today was different, there was one thing that had taken up your entire focus all day.

A few days prior, you were in line at the supermarket when you spotted a flyer.

DANCE YOURSELF BACK TO THE 40s!

Have you ever wondered what a 40s dance was like?

Well if the answer is yes, get yourself down to the Michaelton Hall this Sunday at 7:30pm

The cashier was a motherly looking woman in her late 60s named Dorothy, her family had owned the supermarket here since the 1920s and being a cashier here was her first job. Twice a week she would come down and "relive her youth" as her husband always jokes.

"I thought that might catch your eye" Dorothy spoke after watching you inspect the flyer. "The old music, the clothes and just that feeling of a simpler time. I'm hoping to convince William to take me but getting him to dress up like a princess is more likely than getting him to dance."

You laugh at the woman's joke but mainly at the idea of William in a frilly dress. William and Dorothy had been married for 52 years but the only time William ever danced with her was on their wedding night, a story that you thought was sad but Dora took it in her stride.

"Well I am thinking that this might be a good way to get Steve out of his funk, even for only a night" You say with a wistful look on your face whilst piling fruit into your shopping bag.

"What a wonderful idea my dear!" Dorothy exclaimed whilst scanning the final item "There is a quaint little vintage store about half a mile out of town, I am sure you'd find a dress to knock Steve's socks off"

Smiling at the woman, you hand her some cash before taking one last look at the flyer "You are like a fairy godmother Dora. Have a lovely day and hopefully see you at the dance".

By the next morning, you were keen to start prepping for the Sunday surprise. Giving your husband a kiss goodbye, you headed off to 'run some errands'.

First stop was buying the tickets, then that left you with finding the perfect 40s dress.

You headed out of town to the vintage store Dorothy mentioned but you were not prepared for how beautiful the shop was. Flowers in corners all over the place, fairy-lights decorated the clothing racks and old pieces of sparkling jewellery was displayed throughout the store.

You could have spent hours in there, it felt like a visual time machine but it seemed luck was on your side. As you strolled further into the store, you noticed a stunning pastel floor-length satin dress with light embellishments near the sleeves. That was exactly what you needed.

Everything was ready. Tickets were bought, dress was found and Steve's old military suit was ready to be worn. All you had to do now was keep it from your husband till Sunday.

Making it to Sunday evening was difficult, you had nearly exposed the plans twice but thankfully Steve believed the excuses you came up with. But now it was time to get ready.

"My love, guess what I found the other day in the attic" You call out to your super-solider husband. "Your old army uniform. Perfect condition as well".

Handing the outfit to Steve, you see his eyes light up with the memories of his time back in the 1940s. Although he looked only slightly older than he did the last time he wore it, it was like looking back in time.

"Wow, I didn't think I would ever see this again." He spoke caressing the material.

"Steve, do you think you could maybe try it on again? I would love to have a glimpse of what use to be the fashion" You asked carefully, trying to make sure he didn't suspect anything else.

A small smile graced his face. "Of course, I probably would have wanted to try it on either way" And with a laugh, he headed upstairs to suit up.

Whilst the super-solider was getting ready, you slipped into your dress and quickly slipped on an oversized shirt which made it look like you were wearing a long skirt and t-shirt. Applying a bit of makeup before double checking that your purse was ready with the tickets, car keys and some other essentials.

Hearing footsteps descend your staircase, you turn around to a fully suited and confident looking Steve Rogers. This man has managed to make you fall more in love every day for the past 6 years but in this moment, he took your breath away.

"You look so handsome. How did I ever get lucky enough to call you my husband?" You express as you reach up to lay the corner of his collar down. Even though you compliment your husband all the time, Steve still flushes a bit red at the sweet words.

Leaning in to give him a small kiss, you suddenly remember that you are on a time constraint. You pull back with a mischievous grin dancing on your face.

"Oh no, I know that face. What have you done?" Steve asks with a little chuckle. Instead of responding, you grab his hand and head out to the car. After instructing him to get into the passenger seat, you settle yourself in the driver's seat and start the car whilst Steve sits beside you watching like he was trying to solve a puzzle - the puzzle being you.

"I have a surprise for you but I am going to need you to put this blindfold on whilst I drive us there" With a grin on your face and your hand offering a silk blue blindfold to your incredibly confused but handsome husband.

Cautiously Steve reaches for the blindfold and puts it on, he would trust you with his life so why not trust you with a small surprise.

After driving for 15 minutes or so, Steve feels the car stop and turn off.

"Wait one second" You say before he hears you open your door.

Bubbling with excitement you quickly discard of your t-shirt, place some kitten heels on and apply a sultry shade of red on your lips before throwing anything you don't need in the trunk.

Walking over to Steve's side of the car, you calm your nerves slightly with a deep breathe. Opening the passenger door, you take a hold of Steve's hand and carefully guide him towards the entrance of the hall.

Sounds of Moonlight Serenade songs fill his ears as he enters, still completely oblivious to his partner's scheme. He notices that it is far warmer in this area and that he can smell a mix of perfume and whiskey.

"Okay baby, when I count to 3, you can take off your blindfold" You finally say.

"1"

"2"

"3"

As Steve removes the silk blocking his vision and is immediately hit with a feeling of nostalgia. The hall looked like something out of his memories; men and women dressed in 40s fashion dancing the night away, a small band playing all the most popular songs from the decade he yearned for, men who reminded him of Bucky trying to pick up girls at the bar.

Steve thought that he was blown away until he saw his Y/N. The person who made life worth living, who made everything seem light again. There they stood, looking like they had just walked off the silver screen from an old movie. Steve never really believed that he could live such a happy life but somewhere along the way, he must have done something right because now he is married to an angel.

Walking up to you, he placed his hands on your waist and looked deep into your eyes. Drowning in Steve's ocean blue eyes was a favourite past-time of yours but this felt more than that.

"I noticed you have been a bit down since you gave up the shield and I couldn't see you frown anymore." You whisper quietly as if you were nervous that this plan wouldn't work.

"I know I say it constantly but I love you, Y/N Rogers. Your kindness, your care, your effortless beauty, you." Steve recited, filling every word with pure love and appreciation. "Sometimes I think that I am no one if I am not Captain America or I don't belong in this world but you. You, Y/N, you made me realise that you are my home, not the past. You are the only one I need in this life-time or any other life-time because you taught me who I am beyond the shield."

Tears start to well up in your eyes as you hang off his every word.

"This dance is amazing but what makes me happy is that I get to spend tonight and every night with my soulmate" Steve takes a step back and extends his hand. "So, may I have this dance my darling?"

Reaching for his hand, you make your way onto the dance floor amongst the other couples. As the song dies down, Stella by Frank Sinatra starts filling the hall with a romantic atmosphere and you feel Steve place his hand on your hip before placing another in your hand. This was truly a night to remember.

As you sway with your husband, you let your eyes wander to the other dancing couples and near the centre of the dance floor, you spot Dorothy and William smiling and swaying like teenagers again.

All you can do is hope that you and Steve will be dancing together when you are old and grey.