#i mean i spent a lot of time perfecting them ngl

[xiaojaan]

would anyone be interested in buying cbse psychology class 12 handwritten notes?

[blushblushbear]

The kitsunes on their wedding day?

Alright, let's put a ring on these boys!

Aki:

Nervous

Excited!

Nervecited!

vibrating with happiness

thinks about sneaking a peak at his spouse to be but doesn't cause no no he wants the surprise

that perfect moment when he sees them walk down the aisle toward him <3

does not care about the ceremony (in fact I think members of his clan care more that he does)

Only cares that today is the day you're his forever

and he'll be yours <3

VERY emotional

cries during your vows

actually tears up as you were walking down the aisle towards him but now that you're further into the ceremony he's all water works

he's just so happy

ngl bonus points if you end up running toward him at the alter

he will catch you in a spin hug

you've actually never seen Aki look so sincere and serious

but he is EXTREMELY serious about you

about your union

he truly believes himself to be the luckiest kitsune alive

holds your hands tight as you finalize the union

cups your face and pulls you into the deepest kiss

his darling bunny <3

more crying during the after wedding speeches

also LOTS of dating with his new spouse

THE MOST OVER JOYED

Haru:

NERVOUS NERVOUS NERVOUS NERVOUS NERVOUS

oh and did I mention

NERVOUS!!!

this is a big commitment for him

and he's sure about it but also HAHA WOW this is gonna be forever huh??

at least he hopes it's forever

oh gods

might actually need you to talk to him through the door

ngl the moment he hears your voice he's more sure about this then he's even been of anything

but nerves are still nerves and your voice is so soothing to him so keep talking

is so tempted to fling open that door, kiss you and run away with you right now but he restrains himself cause all these people are here he can't disappoint

(also you guys spent a lot for this venue, jeez weddings are expensive)

so he promises he'll be there waiting for you at the alter

he doesn't mean to ask this, it just sort of jumped out from deep within him, but he does ask

"and you'll be there too, right?"

he sounds so

scared???

terrified...

but he feels more certain when you tell him

'As if anyone could keep me away'

another teary eyed boy as he watches you walk toward him at the alter

he tries really hard to hide it but oh hell who's he fooling

his vows are simple but extremely heart felt

and he can't stop staring into your eyes as he says them to you

actually, from that point on, he kind of can't stop staring

his eyes are following you for the rest of the evening

giving you this adoring lovestruck look all time

he deeps you when he kisses you at the alter

and at the reception he does do that garter thing (even if you're a dude in a full suit, he'll have you wear a garter just so he can reach up there and take it off) (((....might not throw it into the crowd though.... might keep it.... he earned that fair and square lmao)))

loads of dancing and drinking follows

also lots of him holding you, kissing you, watching you

just so enraptured that you're actually his

he feels undyingly lucky

he's also very excited for a very long honeymoon with you

Fuyu:

Fuyu taking a mate before the whole of his clan (and also many members of the other clans) tries his best to remain the very picture of dignified on this, his special day of union to his beloved

the key word here is tries though

and it's true, before you join the crowd at the ceremony, he was actually a statuesque figure of refined stoicism

but the moment his eyes fall on you

he melts

he softens

he begins to radiate a warmth that only comes with the deepest love and adoration

before the ceremony he was nervous, he'll admit it

worried he would not make a suitable enough husband for a boundlessly graceful creature such as yourself

that his stiff demeanor and occasionally cold bits of habit would prove inhospitable to a marital bond

that he would, over time, come to be too old fashioned, too stoic, too set in his ways to make for the kind of loving partner he fully believe you deserved, and that he so desperately wanted to be

but he was certain there would be no love as grand as this for him again, and you had vowed that you would accept his hand in marriage

so he resigned himself to accepting this most blissful fate with the utmost gratitude

and not sully this day with so called 'cold feet' or any sort of doubts to that nature

but he was definitely still nervous while getting dressed

however the moment he saw you enter the room, glowing with a majesty of his spouse to be, and walking towards him down the aisle

the only thing he was able to feel was a well of love as he fell for you all over again in that moment

he actually predicted that he would probably be falling for you over and over again for the rest of your lives

his vows are grandiose and exciting

and full of the utmost sincerity

and as he listens to your vows, his eyes begin to well up

and when you cup his face in your hands and pull him in for your first wedded kiss, he swooned so hard he thought his knees were going to give way

he's another one who rarely takes his eyes off you the whole rest of the evening

he listens to the toasts but his eyes are locked on you

your first dance together as a married couple is one he'll never forget

and though he doesn't loosen up as much as the other kistune, he does still imbibe with his spouse and toast to a long happy life together

also he dances a bit like a dork after a few drinks and it's adorable

[oklotea]

MY FAVORITE TINTIN SIDE CHARACTERS

ARRGRGWHDHEH I'M VERY VERY PROUD OF THIS I'M NGL!!!!!!! I LOVE THE WAY I COLORED THE CHARACTERS, I LOVE THE POSES I DREW THEM IN, I MADE SOME DECENT COMPOSITION IN THIS ONE!!!! HATE THE EDITING I DID I FUCKING SUCK AT EDITING

Anyway, I'm going to ramble about these guys and you can't leave until I'm done ok? Ok.

First of all, MY BOY MY SON MY PERSONAL LITTLE DEMON, ABDULLAH!!!!!!! he is very endearing to me!!! But I really do wish we could've seen more of him!!!! He looks mischievous enough to sneak on adventures along with the marlinspike crew himself for shits and giggles!!!!! HIM AND HIS DAD'S DYNAMIC IN LAND OF BLACK GOLD IS MY FAVORITE IT MAKES ME SO GIDDY AND HAPPY. like no matter how obnoxious and annoying Abdullah's pranks can become, his dad will forever love him unconditionally. MY FAVORITE DYNAMIC. I MISS THEM SO MUCH.

A little note, even though a lot of poc representation in tintin is pretty influenced by the stereotypes of the time, and a bit of orientalism, tintin and the land of black gold is also the first time in my childhood where the words "assalamualaikum" Was muttered in any piece of animated media. It definitely wasn't perfect, but that was important to me as a Muslim child. Maybe that's why Abdullah and his dad hold a special place in my heart!

Next up we've got ARREGEHFHFHHGHJ!!!!!!! CHANG!!!!!!! MY FRIEND FROM SCHOOL WHO HELPED END A CRIME RING IN SHANGHAI!!!!!!! I adore him and his personality so much!!!! HE WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AS A KID AND HE STILL IS TODAY WHEN I REWATCH BLUE LOTUS!!!!!!!! The way that the moment he was saved by Tintin in that flood he pledged his undying loyalty to Tintin will never not be sweet to me. HE IS SO TALENTED AND CUNNING, HE SAVED TINTIN FROM CERTAIN DOOM MULTIPLE TIMES IN THE LITTLE TIME THEY'VE SPENT TOGETHER, AND IN TINTIN IN TIBET, TINTIN SAVES HIM ONCE AGAIN (Tintin in tibet is also a very memorable and special episode for me) AND JUST-- ARGEHDBEHF I CAN CONTINUE ON AND ON ABOUT HOW CHANG SHOULDVE BEEN INCLUDED IN MORE ADVENTURES!!!!! actually Tintin has TONS OF CHARACTERS who should have been given more important roles in a lot of different stories!!!! Idk maybe that's just a wish that will never be fulfilled.... Still I can dream!

And last but DEFINITELY not least... THE MILANESE NIGHTINGALE HERSELF, BIANCA CASTAFIORE!!!!!!!!!!!! AGHHDHEHFHJDHV MY GORGEOUS MY BEAUTIFUL MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING I MISS HER SO MUCH

SHE WAS A HIGHLIGHT FOR ME!!!!!! AND SHE IS VERY UNDERRATED!!!! I love seeing how much she treasures her friends, how she's so dramatic about everything, how she has such an unapologetically loud and large presence and personality everywhere she goes, how she is genuinely passionate about her singing and her art, how she clearly knows her worth and won't settle for less from anyone.

Every time she was on screen she always made me feel very happy and warm inside, also I really like her voice!!!!!

AND HER DESIGN!!!!! ARRRGHWHFHH HER DESIGN!!!

I'm ngl, she was the hardest for me to draw. But at the end I'm quite satisfied with the results!!!!

She would be such an amazing friend. SHE'S ALWAYS BRINGING GIFTS AND BEING CONSIDERATE WITH HER FRIENDS, AND SHE WOULD NEVER HIDE JUST HOW MUCH PEOPLE MEAN TO HER

PLEEEEASEEEE CASTAFIORE I MISS YOU SO MUCH GIRLFRIEND COME BACK TO ME-

Anyway, the last picture is how I'd imagine Chang and Castafiore's first meeting would go. She as always, acts as sweet and polite and extra af as she always does, let's Chang know that Tintin's talked a lot about him! And then she would bring out some biscuits and pastries she bought as a gift for everyone, and then she and Chang would sit together while eating, and they get along really well, CHANG HAS A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR THAT CASTAFIORE CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF, (haddock would be completely dumbfounded with how good at talking to Castafiore Chang is, and how anyone could talk to her for so long) but little did haddock know, in their conversations, Castafiore does a whole lot more listening than speaking, especially when Chang starts to tell his back story, and all the things that have happened to him and Tintin. After Chang ends his story, he looks up at her after a while of being lost in his story, and mascara is dripping down her face silently, her mouth is agape, and for a few moments couldn't say anything.

Suddenly she burst out loud, pulled Chang into a hug, and sobs after listening to the horrors this sweet kid has gone through.

In over a few hours she seems to have grown a strong attachment to this kid, she'll probably send a package filled with gifts a few months later, along with a long letter talking about what she's been up to and her wishes that Chang will succeed with anything he's currently busy with, and that he shall take care of himself well.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the small character appreciation I was able to share for some obscure/underrated characters! And that they will occupy your mind just for a little while. I love these three so much, tintin shaped me as a person, tintin made my childhood, I hope you have a great day.

Click for better quality!!!!!!

[sadlynotthevoid]

Ngl, the Ark of Miracle Nikki sounds like the perfect way to get characters transmigrate from a world to other.

I mean, imagine most people from TBOAH getting suddenly teleported into a massive (techno? magic? fashion inspiration fueled?) flying ship, which can travel through the space-time, because "your world is doomed because of an asshole. We're so sorry. Please feel free to use the facilities and rest until we arrive to your new home".

Besides, I would really like to have og!Cale befriend Aeon and Marina. They would get along, specially having in count that "new world" means their nobility is nothing. He wouldn't need to hide himself and they aren't from his world, so no precoinceived ideas.

Besides, Marina is a kid. Og!Cale would look at this cheerful lively kid and wouldn't be able to hold back his big brother instincts. "She's a lot like Lily when she was a toddler", he probably would think. (Because, yes, I headcanon that og!Cale spent a lot of time with Lily when no one was around and she was still "too young to remember". Lily isn't sure whether she dreamed it all or not)

And imagine Aeon introducing modern music to og!Cale. Og!Cale, who may had learned music when he was a kid (classic noble kid activity), liking many of these various styles of music, all so different from the elegant ones the noble likes and the vivid ones he heard at the streets and bars. Then Marina telling him that Aeon also writes songs, but warning him not to listen them in a way too serious tone (she's such a gremlin).

And between all that you still have the tboah characters aclimatizing to the idea of a new world, fixing relationships, and planning what to do now that their status mean shit (poor royal family. Ha.)

Just a transmigration story where the characters have time to talk with their family and adjust before being send to other world.

Maybe the world they're going to is the Soo's Earth. One that is on its way to recovery, but has way less population than before.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Hhiiiii I hope you're doing well 🥺 I had a pretty depressing day at work so I was really happy to see the fluffy alphabet requests.

Could I get I,K, and M with Zoro please? Thank you!! And take care!! 💕💕

I know depressing days are the worst, at work or otherwise, so ngl I kinda jumped on top of this the second you sent it.

I hope this helps even a little.

And thank you for the request!! 💕

Fluffy Alphabet Masterlist here

I is for I Love You (Who says it first, how long does it take, how does it happen?)

“You—? Oh. Oh. I…I love you too.”

You’re probably going to have to say it first. Not because he doesn’t love you, but because love is still sort of a foreign concept for him.

Love is difficult for Zoro to really grasp. He’s been alone for the vast majority of his life. He really only had one friend prior to joining the Strawhat crew. Seriously, it's a foreign concept.

He knows that you make his heart beat a little faster any time he sees you, that he feels as weightless as if the entire world has been lifted from his shoulders when you kiss him—and that he would protect you with his life without question. He really doesn’t wholly understand what any of that means, it’s not something he’s ever had to deal with before, but he likes it. He likes it a lot.

When you do draw up the resolve to say it, however long it takes, it all just sort of all falls into place for him—love, that’s what this is, right, that makes perfect sense.

Once the shock of realization wears off, he’ll say it right back without any hesitation, with a smile a mile wide and a deep kiss, pulling you to him by your waist.

And he’s not going to waste a single moment to say it again after the first time, just so he can hear you say it back.

K is for Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you/be kissed?)

“Ah—goddammit, come here—”

If you’re just cuddled up together and relaxing, then it’s slow and deep, one of his arms curled around you with his hand rubbing slowly up and down your back, his other hand brushing back through your hair.

If things are a little more heated, then he’ll have you pressed against the wall, hands grasping at your waist and your hips, your lips crushed together hard enough to leave them swollen and bruised.

Feeling your lips trail down throat to his chest while you’re lying across him drives him absolutely wild, and you can expect to be flipped onto your back and have him tugging at your clothes within seconds while he kisses every inch of your skin he can reach.

How he kisses you at any given time depends a great deal on the circumstances—but regardless, he’s been starved of affection for most of his life, physical or otherwise, so he cannot ever get enough of your lips.

M is for Morning (How are your mornings spent together?)

“Oh, come on, I got up first yesterday…”

You’ll almost always wake up first; Zoro’s a deep sleeper, and any excuse to sleep in is a good one as far as he’s concerned.

You also definitely won’t be getting up before he wakes up. Even fast asleep, he’ll have his arm curled around you, and any attempt on your part to rise will just result in him pulling you tighter against him. You’re basically his teddy bear, and you must accept your fate as such.

He’s not really much of a morning person and tends to wake up slowly. Don’t try to convince him to get up before he’s ready to or he’s bound to get grumpy about it.

It’s not really like you want to get up, anyway; there’s a certain serenity to lying there with his arm tucked under your neck while he stretches and rolls his shoulders, while he turns his head to press his lips lightly to yours or brush them against your temple, while you both just lie there as a tangle of limbs and jokingly bicker over who should get up first.

Every morning is a lazy morning.

[karmawonders]

Zhongli brainrot incoming my lovely little ducklings

Notes: imma call god!reader also known as Creator as Divinity cuz it sounds cute aight? Aight. And it makes sense cuz we are the most divine thing, so like? It works. U can argue with me but I enjoy the name, and as a SAGAU x cult au consumer, that name would just FUEL my God complex.

🌸Also this is probably non comprehensive my adhd n more went nyooom with this one, so you have been warned🌸

Warnings: sagau. Religious themes. Reader is God/ above God. Yandere worshippers. Slight zhongli x childe Lemme know if I should add anything.

Aight bitches we know the drill

Zhongli? The loyalist of our devotees. Also the oldest of all the motherfuckers

My dude got arthritis or smth idk I like to think he goes over to baizhus pharmacy for painkillers occasionally since he is just an old old frail wee peepaw. (Jokes ofc)

Now listen. My man's Morax was an Archon. He may of left that title but the dude is still very much a God. Not like, as high of God as the creator is, but a God nevertheless.

Dude gots a whole ass teapot/ pocket dimension solely for a temple to Divinity.

It continuously is expanding as he finds more books that could be about Divinity / theories about Divinity, etc.

Rip to the poor adeptus who is managing it.

Sure he usually has Childe pay for his shit, but it's not cuz he is broke! He is farr from it

Dude just has

Idk

Tendencies to hoard

Curse his dragon nature ig man

All the Mora? Safely in a separate teapot outside of his temple one. You can swim in it scrooge Mcduck style. He probably does take naps in it sometimes in his dragon form ig.

So he has Childe buy a ton of things that He thinks Divinity may even possibly like or acknowledge

It is dangerous when he walks amongst the harbor shops.

Not for the shopkeepers, they quickly learned to put their finest goods out in front when the see the funeral consultant nearing.

Mostly for whoever is gonna be paying for it. Which is usually Childe.

Oh shit man you see that fancy ass tea set that dude is polishing? We gotta look at it.

"Don't drag your feet Childe, we must secure this purchase for Divinity."

Childe can't argue if he knows it's going to Divinity, to you. He's one of your worshippers to ya know, he owes you his life.

He just wishes

Ya know

Zhongli would haggle a little before immediately purchasing whatever it is

He still shudders at the time he spent that much mora for something known as a "Primogem". A solid 5 million.

Just to ya know

Learn that a certain blonde haired traveller basically gets them for free just for being their first vessel / connected to Divinity.

That one hurt a Lil ngl

I mean Learning that Divinity would find a single primogem absolutely useless if not insulting on its own.

Listen man's Divinity is still interacting through Teyvat through a screen at this time, you ain't nowhere near to actually being there physically atm.

Which gives Zhongli a good amount of time to figure out wtf to do with this questionable purchase

Now it's true that Zhongli is a vivid spender

But he knows when something is the real deal, and he won't just let that slip away.

If it happens that his walking wallet at the time doesn't have the cash for whatever item

He will very upsetti spahgetti

Yes he buys tons of things for himself

But when it was something he wanted to get as an offering g for you? Dudes gonna be very upset.

He will begrudgingly procure mora from his more teapot after asking the items owner to have it on hold for a bit, and buy it.

The next few days he works extra hard to replace the mora in his hoard

But on the bright side your temple is just looking so wonderful with that new vase!

He likes decorating a lot. From his own abode, to organizing the mora and gems in his "den", to making sure your personal temple / shrine is absolutely perfect

He really do be like one of those Sim youtubers who spent 30 hours just on the house

If he is to one day show you this, in person, he has to make sure it's absolutely perfect! Everything needs to be the finest of fine!

He sees the rug he bought 20 or so years ago slightly aging?

Bye bitch

Like imma just pawn this off since it's a great rug and I want my money's worth but it's not worth a God possibly walking upon it anymore.

In all his free time dude is in his personal temple to Divinity

Admiring the things he got for you, remembering their history should you ever ask,,, and uh

Dusting

So much dusting

Like this temple gots TON of shit in it

I mean it's bound to when he has worshipped you for so long

Probably goes on for miles

Might as well make it a public museum at this point

If there isn't like, special anti dust adeptus magic or smthing that is

Oh I just had the funniest fucking idea

You know how in other games (worlds?) Dragons live like hundreds of thousands of years before dying of old age or shit

Zhonglis like 7 thousand I think

Aka he is a baby compared to otherworld dragons

(Yes I know he is technically not a dragon dragon but shhhhhh)

So he goes on about how Erosion will sooner then later do him in and everyone's like

Noo Rex lapis perfect geo Archon nooooo fight the erosion oawr nawr

And he like ofc full heartedly believes that this is the case

Until ofc Divinity gets down there, aka you.

And your just like

"Ya old fart

when was the last time you got proper exercise

Hrm?

500 years ago?

No wonder you feel like shit bro- go hit the gym smh"

If he didn't do regular spars with Childe or any other acolytes before, he definitely does so now.

And then he feels better cuz he wasn't getting enough exercise outside of the vessel commission's he went on. Dude just wasn't getting enough dopamine in his head and fr thought it was erosion like smh

Zhongli built up Liyue for you, ya know. To Be like your favorite nation etc etc.

So I think he would be supppppeer interested in the world you were in previously

Like

Wtf is a car and a highway and wdym they are super dangerous but people are on em regularly all the time? Tf?

What the heck is air condition Divintiy you are making up words I think aksksjrdqsdfhjk

...sun...screen? Never heard of this?

Teyvat not knowing basic medical stuff would be hilarious to me

Like imagine someone is coughing on something

Let's say Itto cuz I feel like he would do that

And you just

Get behind him and heimlech him

And everyone's like

????wtf he was good as dead???

And zhonglis sitting their having war flash backs to all the people he could of saved if he JUST GAVE THEM A BIG OLD HUG FROM BEHIND?

/yes I know that's not how it works but shush aight/

Zhongli wants to know absolutely anything and EVERYTHING about Divinity

You say an off comment about liking a certain smell and dude gots like

Notebooks and sticky notes written down the very second after

And then you go back to your abode or to the shrine he has and it smells overwhelmingly like that

Like

Imagine saying you like the smell of freshly cut grass and he just goes

??? How tf do I get that smell?"

I just realized these brainrots are very fun to write and non stressful you can expect more

Anyways I love my man's Zhongli and I will die for him without hesitiation

🌸Abrupt ending queen right here, do not be surprised akkajsks🌸 and if you are shook it ended, boo!

I think this is getting a bit long and I don't wanna like have a post that makes my thumbs scroll miles before finishing it ifykyk

Anyways hope that was somewhat readable akksksksks

🌸Consider checking out my masterlist?🌸

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Emotional Distance

Ngl I feel like a lot of people sleep on the angst potential of Remus being the one to distance from Roman. Roman's discomfort from Janus saying "You know I love you"? His initial distrust of Virgil and trying to keep distance plus the jabs? His desire to not be like his brother? His people pleasing? All of it could be fed into based on that concept alone. It can be taken in so many hard angst or hurt/comfort directions. – ax3-e0ns

Read on Ao3

Warnings: roman has pretty severe abandonment issues

Pairings: none

Word Count: 3783

Once upon a time, in an Imagination far away, there lived Creativity. Creativity spent his days making anything he wanted. He made skies of sapphires and great stone castles. He made forests of magical trees and filled them with wonderful creatures. He filled the sky with diamonds and made stories that anyone could get lost in, because the happy endings would find them and everything would be right again. But stories do not stay the same, we do not always get our happy endings. And when Creativity rips itself apart, it seems as though there might never be a happy ending ever again. But Remus is back. And now Roman has to deal with seeing his brother after they've been Split.

 

Virgil didn’t think too much of it. Princey was going to be a jerk to him because he presented obstacles to Princey having everything he ever dreamed of—or what Thomas ever dreamed of. But that was his job, so he didn’t care. If pressed, he might actually admit he enjoyed the verbal sparring. Princey was fun to mess with and remind that he wasn’t actually the perfect prince he claimed to be. C’mon, the flaws in perfection are fun to mess with. And if Roman blew himself up and got all blustery and rude, well, that was just incentive to keep going.

Yeah, sure, some of Princey’s insults hurt more than others, but that was a risk that came with the job. They were making a habit of it, throwing sharp words back and forth, some of them were bound to hit eventually. Besides, Virgil always gave as good as he got and it wasn’t like the others would let Roman get away with it. He may or may not have been keeping a tally of how many times they made Roman apologize for something he said. And it wasn’t like Roman only aimed for the soft spots. He knew better.

So yeah, it wasn’t surprising to Virgil that Roman tried to keep him at a distance. That’s what they were supposed to do, wasn’t it?

2.

Patton gets it. He’s a lot! He can be overwhelming and enthusiastic and sometimes that’s not what people want. He’s all about making sure people are happy and if that means they need to take a break sometimes, that’s what they should do!

He’s just happy that Roman lets him know.

The two of them get along really well most of the time: they have their own inside jokes and they go on adventures in the Imagination together and they watch funny cat videos and they talk about the stories they want to read, it’s the best. They have great fun just messing around doing absolutely ridiculous arts and crafts projects that normally end up with both of them covered in glitter and their new things proudly displayed on the wall in Patton’s room. He always asks Roman if he wants them in his room instead, but Roman always says no.

“All my walls are covered with my stuff, I want you to have the stuff we made,” he says, “unless you really don’t want it…?”

But Patton always does, so he puts it up and Roman grins when he comes over and sees it.

But sometimes they need slow days. So they bake or just watch something and sometimes even that’s a bit too much. So Patton doesn’t mind when Roman says he’s too worn out to do something that afternoon after they went into the Imagination the day before and made cookies all afternoon the day before that. It’s the right thing to do, really, to help support Roman. After all, Roman’s always so good with making sure he feels better and gets him all cheered up, it’s the lease he can do to leave Roman be when he asks for it, right?

So no, Patton doesn’t think about it too much. Roman likes to be left alone sometimes, and that’s okay.

3.

Janus understands, he does, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it.

Roman was easy to manipulate. Roman always has been easy to manipulate. When Roman discovered just how much he’d been manipulated, it made sense that he would react…strongly. Insults, yes, pushing him to the outskirts of the conversations, yes, banishing himself away when Janus came around, yes, yes, all of that. And Janus would weather it with minimal complaint because it was fair. Completely justified? No, not really, but understandable.

He would be happier about it if it weren’t so obviously hurting Roman too.

Creativity is not something to be neglected. It needs an outlet, somewhere to express itself, somewhere it can be appreciated, even if it’s only internally. And Roman has more than his fair share of personal projects, things he never lets Thomas see, but he doesn’t let them see it either. And it seems like he goes out of his way to keep it like that.

Every time Patton asks him what he’s been up to: vague answer. Any time Logan asks him for a brain storm: only Thomas’s ideas. Even when Virgil lobs a painful softball about him being lazy or unproductive: volley back about Virgil being an expert or he just shoulders it without a response. And Janus can hear the lie of omission buzzing around Roman’s head but he can’t do a damn thing about it.

It’s not like Roman would ever open up to him. Not when it’s like pulling teeth to even get him to acknowledge that he’s upset about something more than just…surface level things.

So yes, Janus understands. He just hates that he does.

4.

Logan does not understand what is going on and he intends to get to the bottom of it.

Roman is isolating himself and intentionally keeping them all at a distance. There have been no long-lasting arguments that would result in such behavior, and any smaller disagreements have been settled to the best of everyone’s respective ability. He would not be amiss to ascribe a level of immaturity to Roman, but that seems an unlikely cause given Roman’s levelheadedness—and he did not ever think he would be attributing that characteristic to Roman—in other circumstances. So that means either it is something that Roman is not telling the rest of them about, or it is something else entirely.

He goes to Roman’s door after he opts out of movie night and knocks politely on the door. Roman comes to answer it in a plain T-shirt and shorts.

“Yes?”

“May I come in, please?”

Roman shifts but does not allow Logan entrance. “What did you need, Logan?”

Logan frowns. “You’ve been isolating yourself from us, why?”

Roman blinks, momentary surprise flickering over his features before it settles on a familiar half-smile. “Thought you’d be happy to not have to deal with me for a while, Specs. You miss me that much?”

“It’s not about whether I miss you, this pattern of behavior is alarming.”

“Are the others worried?”

“I would imagine they would be if they knew the extent to which you were—“

“So you didn’t ask them?”

“What?”

Roman sighs, running his hand through his hair. “Look, Logan, I’m not…’self-isolating,’ or whatever you want to call it. I’m just tired tonight and I don’t feel up to watching a movie with the rest of you. I’ll try and make it next week, okay?”

“That’s not—“ he catches the door when Roman tries to close it— “it’s more than just movie nights. You don’t talk to us about things that are bothering you, really bothering you, and you keep trying to brush us off when we ask about you or your projects.”

”Never thought you’d be the one anxious to hear about my work, especially when it falls outside of that 0.5%.”

“See? Like that.”

Roman shakes his head. “You should go back downstairs, Logan, they’re probably going to start the movie without you at this rate.”

“Now you’re not even trying to be subtle about it. You should—“

“Logan.”

The firmness of Roman’s voice startles him into silence. Roman gives him a look and gently yet firmly moves Logan’s hand off the door.

“I’d like to be left alone now,” he continues, jerking his head toward the stairs, “enjoy the movie.”

The door closes with a decisive click. Logan stares at it for a long moment before hanging his head and walking back downstairs.

”No luck?”

“No. He shut the door on me when I tried to push.”

Patton toys with the ears on his cat onesie. Virgil sinks a little more into his hoodie. Janus sighs.

“I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“Me neither.”

”I don’t know what else to do,” Logan says quietly as he takes a seat, “I don’t understand.”

“None of us do.”

5.

Then Remus appears.

He sends Thomas on a horror show roller coaster with a sinister music number and knocks Roman unconscious for nearly half an hour. For Janus and Virgil, it’s something they’d seen coming for a long time, for Patton and Logan, less so. Remus cackles and throws them all off guard every chance he gets, delighting in the mayhem he causes and everyone is left scrambling to pick up the pieces.

Everyone that is, except Roman.

The first time Roman sees Remus, he stops. Fully stops, staring at him, as Remus grins and keeps doing…whatever he’s doing with the inflatable dolphin. Eventually, he looks up and spots Roman and his grin widens.

“Ro-bro! Wanna help me out? I could really use a hand with the extra bamboo skewers.”

Patton quickly ducks behind Logan. Janus just sighs and Virgil mutters here we go.

Roman looks at him for a long pause.

“Remus,” he says eventually in a completely even voice, “you’re back.”

“Back and bloodier than ever!” A squib explodes on his chest as he spreads his arms. “Did you miss me?”

Something moves across Roman’s face too quick to name. He looks at the dolphin and then back at Remus. “Welcome back, I guess. Good luck with the skewers.”

And he turns and walks up the stairs.

They’ve never really described Roman as…cold before. And yet that’s exactly what it is. It’s not like with Logan, where he takes Remus’s creations apart with cold logic, or even that he ignores Remus altogether. No, it’s just…the briefest of acknowledgements, the weakest of yes-ands, the polite yet insistent removal of himself from whatever context Remus might be in.

It’s not what they expect from Roman. It’s exactly what they expect from Roman.

”He’s getting worse,” Patton mumbles when yet again Roman declines their invitation to dinner, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Is he still eating?” Virgil pushes his food around his plate. “I don’t see him eat anymore.”

”He’s eating, his box of snacks is still being emptied.”

“You check?”

“Of course I check, what do you take me for,” Janus scoffs, “an amateur?”

“We’re missing something.” Logan adjusts his glasses. “There’s something we haven’t taken into consideration.”

“Me.”

They all turn and look at Remus, eating his food on top of the fridge. Despite his comically contorted position, he looks oddly serious.

“I’m sure it’s not that,” Patton tries, “Roman missed you, he said so.”

“Yeah, he might’ve missed me, but it’s not like that makes up for anything.”

Logan frowns. “What do you mean, Remus?”

Remus sighs, setting his plate aside and getting down from the fridge, still strangely stoic. “I mean what happened when we were younger.”

“…what happened?”

+1.

Once upon a time, in an Imagination far away, there lived Creativity. Creativity spent his days making anything he wanted. He made skies of sapphires and great stone castles. He made forests of magical trees and filled them with wonderful creatures. He filled the sky with diamonds and made stories that anyone could get lost in, because the happy endings would find them and everything would be right again.

But as time went on, and the people got older, some of his ideas started to…change. Now he thought of deep caves filled with monsters, monsters that would kidnap people. The heroes would still rescue them, because they had to, but now they left with scars that didn’t heal quite right and memories that hurt to think about.

Creativity didn’t understand. He wanted to have fun with his work again, just make things that people would like—but what about what he thought of? Weren’t the dark ideas fun in their own way too?

No, because they hurt people—

—but those people aren’t real, so what does it matter?

Why did he want to hurt people?

Why did he hate the part of himself that kept coming up with these ideas?

He didn’t hate himself, he just wanted to be better—

—well, if he wanted to be better so badly, maybe it’d be better if he didn’t have these kinds of thoughts anymore.

Yes, that was it, he just wouldn’t have though thoughts—wait—wait, no, no, no!

Creativity Split and the Imagination howled in pain, a deep chasm forming between two sides: on one side stood the castle, the castle he had loved for years and years, and on the other rose a massive thing of oily black stone, a tower that stuck out like a sword hilt impaled in the earth. The forest grew black and twisted, monstrosities lurking around rickety hanging bridges. Creativity was no longer unified, no longer was control over the Imagination absolute.

The people of the Imagination found half of Creativity weeping on the floor of the castle, a bright sash of red the closest thing to blood it could manage. His tears ran gold over the white of his shirt, a new costume forming before their very eyes. He looked younger, stronger, more like the Prince they all expected him to be, except for his eyes.

A drawbridge shut that day for half of Creativity, and they never again saw it open.

Roman sighs as he opens his door and heads down the hall. Janus had been pestering him about a rematch for weeks and he’d just managed to get him to agree to a time. He picks up the well-worn deck of cards and starts down the stairs.

“I hope you’re ready,” he calls as he goes, “because I won’t be going easy on you this…time.”

He stops halfway down.

Janus is not the one sitting waiting in the living room. Instead, Remus looks up at him. His hands are folded in between his legs and he actually looks somber.

”Huh.” Roman glances at the cards and put them in his pocket. “So that’s what this was?”

“Yeah.”

“Janus doesn’t actually want that rematch, does he?”

“No, he does. I had to bribe him with a heat lamp with an extra long battery life to get him to help.”

“Mm. Is he in his room?”

“Yeah, I think so—wait,” he says quickly, standing up when Roman turns to go, “can we…talk?”

“You want to talk?”

“Yes, Ro, I want to talk.” Roman stops and just waits. “Can you—just come all the way down, for Beezlebub’s sake.”

Roman walks down the stairs and stands at the end, leaning against the banister with his arms crossed. Remus looks for a minute like he wants to protest before he sighs and walks over.

”I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“Did you?” Remus scoffs. “Because it seems like you want nothing to do with me.”

“I do miss you. I’m glad you’re back. It’s been hard without you.” Remus frowns. Roman inclines his head in the direction of the Imagination. “You know some of them still ask what happened?”

“You didn’t tell them?”

“I told them you wanted to follow your own path without me getting in the way.”

Remus suppresses a growl. “What else did you tell them?”

“To be careful going over the bridges if they went to go see you. I didn’t make you out to be the bad guy, Remus, I didn’t forbid any of them from seeing you. I never put up walls or a big sign that says don’t come back, or anything.”

“I know you didn’t.” Roman just nods and doesn’t say anything. Remus growls again and lightly shoves his shoulders. “Where are you? What’re you doing, aren’t you mad at me? Say something!”

“I mean, I’m not thrilled that you left without helping me fix that outer wall—“

“Then let’s go do it!”

Before Roman can say anything, Remus grabs his shoulder and sinks them into the Imagination. He shakes his head to get his bearings—it’s so much harder to sink right in as opposed to going through one of their doors—and sees Remus already hefting a giant block of stone.

“Well? Come on, we can do it together.”

Roman goes over and helps Remus lift the stone block into place. One by one, they repair the wall. Remus keeps trying to get him to talk. He doesn’t. They put the last one in and Remus stands back, panting with a beaming smile.

“There, how’s that?”

“Looks good. Thank you.”

Remus’s smile drops. “That’s it?”

“I mean, it’s not like we can extra fix the wall—“ he’s cut off when Remus shoves his shoulder. Hard.

“Stop it,” he snarls, stalking forward and shoving him again, “whatever you’re doing, whatever punishment this is supposed to be for me, it’s working, alright? You’ve made your point, you’ve punished me, I’m sorry, now stop it!”

“Stop what?”

”This!” Remus shoves him again. “This thing where you’re being all cold and stoic and emotionless and letting me shove you around!”

He does it with two hands this time, enough to make Roman stumble. Roman dodges out of the way of the next one and it just makes Remus angrier.

“I didn’t come back for this—this version of you, I want my brother back!”

“This is your brother!”

Roman grabs him and pins him against a different part of the crumbling wall. He’s panting now, not quite glaring at Remus, who must’ve gotten the wind knocked out of him. He takes a deep breath and lets it out as calmly as he can.

”You left,” he says, deliberately slowly, “you tore us apart because that’s what you wanted. You wanted out, you wanted to be away from me. Do you have any idea what that did to the rest of Creativity?”

Remus’s lower lip wobbles as he shakes his head.

“Creativity got sorted into you and what wasn’t you. It hurt, Remus. You have no idea how much it hurt.” He tightens his grip until his nails dig into Remus’s arms. “Because you ripped free but you were going somewhere. You…you left me there.”

“I didn’t know,” Remus manages, “I…I didn’t know.”

Roman scoffs before he can stop himself. “Of course you didn’t. How could you? You weren’t here.”

He lets go and pushes himself away, turning and walking a few paces. Behind him, he can hear Remus pulling himself together.

“But I’m back now,” he hears, and his fists clench, “I’m back, Ro. We can—ah!”

He reels back, covering his bloody nose with a hand. He looks up, panting.

“Okay, I deserve that.”

Roman punches him again.

“That too.”

He draws his leg back and aims right between—

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, not that, not that, maybe not that.”

Roman stops, breathing slightly heavier. Remus looks up at him, blood gushing from his nose. He turns his back again, taking a deep breath. The crumbling tower looms over them, its fractured shadow etching black lines into the ground. The grass rustles as Remus takes another step closer. Roman raises his chin.

“You left and it hurt me,” he says, trying to keep his voice even, “it still hurts. I won’t go through something like that again, Remus.”

“Is that why you won’t get close to the others?”

“I know better now.”

For a brief second, something wells up in his chest, strong enough to take his breath away and threaten tears at the corners of his eyes. He chokes it back and shoves it under his tongue.

“I think you should go now,” he says, choking a little, “thank you for fixing the wall.”

He only has the briefest of moments before he hears two quick steps and something throws itself at his back.

Warm warm warm solid real Remus safe brother hug hold keep stay Remus no don’t warm cold so cold so cold it hurts it hurts please stop oh god don’t let go—

“Go,” he chokes out, the force of the hug and the emotions running through him breaking his voice, “Remus, go, go, just leave, you need to leave, I can’t do this again, just go, just go—“

Remus doesn’t let go. He digs his heels in and locks his arms around Roman’s waist. He tucks his head against the space between Roman’s shoulder blades and holds on, even as Roman starts to pull and push at his arms.

“No, no, no, Remus, no,” he manages, sobs beginning to steal his voice too, “let go, let me go, you have to go, you have to leave, you have to…you have to, I can’t do this again, you can’t do this to me again, I can’t, I can’t—“

His knees buckle, sending him to the ground. Remus is on him the second he lands, wrapping his legs around him too like a koala, just clinging onto him for dear life. Roman tries to get away, tries to pry him off, tries to crawl, but the warmth and solid arms around him keep making his limbs turn to jelly. HE can’t catch his breath, not with the way Remus’s mustache keeps scratching against his ear because that’s his brother, his brother is back, his brother is hugging him, his brother won’t let him go, he won’t leave, he won’t leave again—

“I’m here,” Remus whispers as Roman starts to sob desperately, “I’m right here, Roro, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m here now, I’m not leaving, I won’t leave, I promise.”

Roman thrashes, wiggling in Remus’s hold. “Let me—wanna hold you—let me—le’ me turn ‘round—“

Remus lets up just enough for Roman to turn and get his arms round his neck, clinging to him life a raft in a storm and sobbing to his shoulder. He hunches protectively over his brother and presses his cheek hard to the crown of Roman’s head.

“I’m here now,” he murmurs over and over, “I’m here, I’m not leaving, I’m here, I’m here.”

Gold tears mix with silver tears. Blood drips onto red and green sashes. White meets black in a fierce embrace as the setting sun turns the green grass red, red, red. The brothers stay there, wrapped around each other, as the Imagination shudders once more.

The tower stands, crumbling it may be, but it stands.

Happy endings will find them and everything will be alright again.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

[chrismcleaneatspants]

General season 2 opinions. MASSIVE TDI 2023 season 2 spoilers ahead (as well as a huge wall of text.) You've been warned.

Ok, so here's everything I like about the season (I can count them on my fingers)

-There were some funny jokes

-MKulia was entertaining and it's now in my top 5 favorite ships, but it's not perfect, as I'll explain later

-Hockey dudes were a joy to watch I suppose

-Bowie stole the show as usual

-There are a lot of neat challenges (The canoe, slide, and dog challenges was a particular stand outs to me)

-MK herself was really funny

-MacArthur's cameo was a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one, and she bounces off of Chris really well

-Duncney is still broken up lol

Honestly that's about it in terms of positives, cuz I have a million other negatives for this supposed sequel to (imo) the best written season of the show.

-The Relationships were the single worst aspect about this season full stop. Ripaxel and Praleb are probably the worst couples the show has ever subjected me to. For Ripaxel, they basically removed anything interesting Ripper had going on and Axel wasn't allowed to live up to any kind of hype she created because one lame ass poem turned her into Ripper's girlfriend for the remaining duration of her run, only for the both of them to be tossed aside in episode 7 in perhaps the worst double elimination in the entire show.

-Praleb started off ok. I thought it was gonna be a one-sided crush plot initially before Episode 6. They had a couple cute moments before episode 8, of which their screentime became suffocating because afterwards is was this painful back and forth where Caleb tried explaining himself and Priya would be mad at him, then ally with him, then be mad at him again like it was so tiresome. By the time they got together in the finale again, I was wishing they had just followed up on Pramien instead. Caleb by himself was funny in the first half of season 2 and Priya was great in season 1, but the two of them together were insufferable

-Speaking of Priya, she went from one of the best characters in season 1 to one of the worst in season 2. Why did she have to make it all the way to episode fucking 12 after winning season 1?? Just for some generic heterosexual romance? They also made her so dumb with shit like knowing Julia is manipulating her but then getting a surprise Pikachu face when Julia manipulated her??? You spent your entire life preparing for this show, how the fuck did you not see this coming???

-Segwayying into Julia, she's the worst antagonist full stop. I've never seen such an absolute downgrade of a character. She was a goat in season 1 who was aware of her situation and acted accordingly because the stakes were real. Here? Reality basically warps around her just to keep her in the game. She does things characters would never fall for in season 1 and they just go with it?? They insist on keeping her in the finale and do basically nothing interesting with her. She's not even as funny as Island Heather at the end of the day.

-I mentioned MKulia earlier, so I'll just get to it here: I like it in concept. Two evil sapphics causing chaos together is really fun. My main issue is that it was very sudden. They both were not fans of each other at the end of season 1 and now I'm supposed to just believe they became friends off screen? I mean, I guess, but it's kinda cheap. I would have really liked it if it was straight up enemies to lovers ngl. Also the fact MK had very little agency outside of being Julia's lackey doesn't help either. I want to point to the fake contract thing, for instance. Why did Julia do that? That sounds like an MK thing to do.

-Time to dive into other characters: Damien is an absolute fucking tragedy. At the end of season 1, Damien had one ambition: win next season. They kinda did that, sure, but they regressed Damien into being a complete coward to do so, not to mention he didn't even go all the way either. Damien didn't get a W until episode 6 and tbh that was his only W. By the end of his tenure, I was left confused on what the point of his run was. (I'll come back to this later.)

-What was the point of Nichelle? Like seriously, what did she contribute to the season at all? They didn't do the ironic underdog story with her, and considering she was getting all egotistical and aggressive, i thought she was gonna be the antagonist for sure...until Julia got rid of her in episode 5 in a way that really shouldn't make sense cuz like Nichelle is an actual celebrity that stars in blockbuster movies, I'm pretty sure she could sniff a fake contract a mile away, right?

-Hockey dudes were great, but I felt like they were very dumbed down at times? Like they were just generic dumb dudes that just meandered around a lot of the time (Wayne in particular just straight up floated away from a challenge at one point)

-Bowie was alright too. His line delivery is great as usual, but let's not kid ourselves: In a well written season, he'd be going straight for Julia the next time his team lost. Bowraj was nice to see even if the season didn't really do a whole lot with it

-Am I the only one who thinks this season is a tad bit misogynistic? Like this is the shortest them phase the show as ever had (to the point where i'd argue teams don't really matter) and 4 of the 5 team phase boots were girls. Millie and Emma in particular were really bad. Like, you could make Millie a team phase boot without like shitting on her that hard. And Emma got like fuck all closure outside of breaking up with Chase off screen like wow, way to utilize such a high potential character, Fresh. And this is saying nothing about how the girls that did make it to the merge had plots basically dominated by romance and like nothing else. And then there's MKulia which is apparently intended to be a friendship but like is written like a romantic one at times. It gives me all-stars gwourtney vibes and (as a fan of gwourtney myself) not in a good way. At least MK and Julia were somewhat in character I guess, but they had their edges really sanded off and honestly as a friendship (situationship?) it's a complete downgrade from Millie and Priya in so many ways

-And another thing: who's the protagonist this season? Outside of Praleb, who am I supposed to care for? Who am I supposed to root for? By the halfway mark, the show doesn't really make any convincing arguments to root for like anyone there outside of maybe Damien? And he went gone in episode 10, so like, hockey dudes? No one has an interesting enough narrative for me to care.

-The immunity idol stinks as usual. Like, why did Damien do THE SAME FUCKING THING HEATHER DID IN ALL-STARS?? That actually pissed me off so much holy shit. The immunity idol as it stands in the show is basically a shitty plot device made to keep characters in as there's no real strategy revolved around it.

-Oh and another minor thing: Owen's cameo sucks, and that's entirely due to him not being physically aged up at all and just being a vehicle for the same dumb jokes they always make with him. so stupid

-Anyways, I spend an entire season with two shitass straight relationships taking up screentime, a whole multiude of potential plotlines from last season (pramien) and this season (scary girl's revenge, millie being the new ripper, damien's comeback, julia having internal conflict over her friendship (feelings?) for MK) being set up and just nothing being done with them, and characters in general just being nerfed or borderline out of character (Ripper) and what am I rewarded with?

-Soar Losers. The most boring nothing finale in the entire show. The choices for finalists suck, Wayne, while being the least bad option for a winner (and i do still like him a lot), is still a mid ass winner in the grand scheme of the entire show. And more praleb drama? fuck off I hate them so much. The challenge did not feel finale worthy at all, and honestly it was the worst challenge in the whole season. On top of being a bunch of nothing, the show decides to bring back the worst trope it ever had: losing hair as karma. I almost ragequit the episode on the spot that shit makes me so irrationally mad. I think it's even worse here because Julia still had hair after the fact, which makes it seem like they were aware it's not a popular TD trope but wanted to half commit to it anyways for the sake of tradition or something. Terrible finale to an already decently sized letdown of a season, but it has some ok MKulia moments I guess. The finale was just emblematic of the entire season, where things just happen and you're just expected to go along with everything. (Also side note how come Chase wasn't the one to jump off of the cart for pizza immediately?)

TL;DR reboot season 2 imo was a step down in every conceivable way from season 1 apart of i guess comedy and it's left a very sour taste in my mouth. I'm probably missing a few points that I'll add onto later but man it feels nice putting my opinion out there.

[megumi-fm]

26th to 30th Apr; doa🚲 complete!!

hi. gah. okay. here's my wrap up for the month

📝 prepped for and completed the last set of internal tests for this degree [2/2] (which I got through after much cribbing and whining and quite literally projecting study topics onto my blorbos 👍 ) 📝 started GRE prep!

🎓 got some gradecard related paperwork done 🎓 spoke to my prof regarding my internship deliverables for uni—report format, certificate requirements, etc etc

📥 I voted! it was the first central elections since I turned to an adult and the whole experience was quite interesting

💻 completed a bunch of tasks for my internship

💻 made like a super extensive flowchart about all the work done at my internship which took me like a total of 20+ hours T-T 💻 finished preparing my Uni Internship presentation! 💻 submitted the presentation to the assistant guide, waiting on her response to make changes atm

🍶 7+ glasses of daily water intake 🎵 svt's new single is out and I've been going insane about it and thus this challenge comes to an end... I had started this off as an 18day daily habit tracker but then it kind of grew out into a challenge for the month. Special thanks to Yumi the loml <3 (@thelastneuron) for starting the Days of April challenge (Yumi idk when you'll see this but i miss you and I hope you've been kicking ass during your hiatus). also massive thanks to Zip (@zipstidbits) for leaving the kindest comments/tags on my post during the past week and to Tanishka (@booksbluegurl) who is literally the sweetest and has been sending in asks and keeping me company during this challenge <3

there's a lot more i wanna yap about in regards to how the month went but I'll leave that under the tags xD goodnight besties <3

month end brainrot

april started off with dips and more dips but by the end of the month it feels like I've caught up. productivity is a wave so as long as I keep riding at it i'll be okay.

also. progress is cumulative. even the seemingly inconsequential completion of daily tasks has lead to an overall improvement through the week. things add up

I spent a lot of time this month (and moreso this past week) feeling dejected that I've been leaving my tracker posts (and my digital planner entries) incomplete... but like. the whole point of trackers and planners (and this studyblr) is to get work done. work is the priority and the tracking is a means to an end. so if im getting work done that is already a win. yeah... i've had to keep reminding myself that

there is no one-tool-fix for tracking and journalling. what works for planning out one task will not work for the other. I need to strop trying to fit all my plans into one formulaic strategy box

on that note. it's time to return to handwritten journaling. digital journalling (notion + YPT + discord + tumblr) was fun while it lasted <3 but my brain needs novelty again so it's time i switch back. I think I finally have an idea for a system that could be sustainable for me... although I say that every time I switch to a new form of tracking. but hey. as long as it helps me get work done for whatever duration of time, it's good enough

using kpop and kdrama references to make notes and study really paid off. ngl I only did it cause I was super desperate but incorporating stuff I couldn't understand with a topic I really like paid off. It also gave me the motivation and momentum to study for much longer than I otherwise would have

last but not least. my water intake has been really good this month! I've also been eating healthy and I've been cooking more my phone usage has also been reduced by a lot. sure none of them have had a perfect streak but i started at zero and it feels like I've levelled up quite a bit. the exercise component has been a bit difficult to maintain given my workload :/ i need to figure out what to do about that...

yep. that's it for now. this month really tired me out, I think im gonna lay off daily challenges for a while. For now I guess I'll stick to my (bi?tri?)weekly tracker posts xD

[emma-is-swaggy-and-epic]

DISCLAIMER THAT THIS IS THE 3RD TIME I'M FUCKING UPLOADED THIS PIECE OF SHIT BECAUSE TUMBLR KEEPS FUCKING UP MY IMAGE LAYOUT WHENEVER I POST IT SO IF THIS SHIT DOES THAT AGAIN I'M NOT GONNA FUCKING FIX IT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO EMBED ALL THE LINKS TO THE BASES I USED AND WRITE DOWN ALL THE TAGS ALL OVER AGAIN

X / X / X / X / X / X

Ngl it was relatively easy to think of pony names for these characters since i've had the idea to make this for a while so i've had a lot of time to think about it lol

For yuriko: i chose the name "flawless lace" because in her regular form, i specifically chose the name "yuriko" for her because it means "perfect" so i wanted to try and include that aspect into her pony name. Some considered names for her were "perfect storm" and "lily lace" since the "yuri" part of her name means "lily" (though i decided against it bc i remembered that's the name of an actual pony in MLP...) the markings on her legs are meant to sorta mirror the stockings she wears in her usual form

For sprite: i chose the name "baby carrot" simply because that was a actual name i considered for her normal form before i decided on "sprite" (which is kinda funny since a big part of sprite's character is that she likes apples.....a food that is basically as different from carrots as it can get) she is a goat-alicorn hybrid because she's normally a deltarune OC, specifically a fankid of kris and ralsei; with the latter being a prince from the dark who is also a goat monster

For carrie: a big part of her backstory is that she named herself, she's literally a carrot that decided to be human one day (...or pony, in this case) and is trying to fit into civilsation as best she can; so i tried to give them a pony name that sorta fits that, and so i named them "carrot mulch" because i could totally imagine her trying to introduce themself to someone and doing that one trope in movies where the main character doesn't want to share their real name and just looks around the room for things to call themself lol. I also decided to make her a blank-flank since she probably hasn't spent that long a time as a pony and therefore wouldn't have a cutie mark despite appearing fully grown

For makeighlyn i feel like my choices are pretty straight forward, the character is a girls' flash game mascot created by a christian fundamentalist cult who somehow escaped into the real world and now works as a demon slayer so i decided to give her a name and cutie mark that reflects that. The only thing that i feel is worth mentioning is that i find it interest how the amount of pink in her design makes the blue in her hair look a lot darker...either that or i might've accidentally hue-shifted it or something

Choese is another pretty straightforward one, he's a flirty cheese-themed mouseboy so i gave him a heart-shaped cheese cutie mark and named him "gouda squeaks" because he's a fucking rodent. (Sidenote: i love smoked gouda so goddamn much omg)

Lastly for crystalline i decided to make her a breezie since she's normally a fairy and y'know....breezies are just the MLP equivalent to fairies....i also decided to name her "fee-fee breezie" since breezies usually have really cutesy names in the show (some of them straight up have references to their species in their names), the "fee-fee" part of her name is short for "feelings" since crystalline is an emotion fairy

Y'know when i first created crystalline back when i was like, 10 i was going through a phase where i just VIOLENTLY hated things for no reason (specifically things from MLP such as the vampire fruit bats, flurry heart and the manta hawk from the IDW comics) to the point that i would make them out of polymer clay JUST so i can make my pony toys kill them (i was a weird kid, needless to say) one of these things being the breezies....so ngl i feel like the fact that i made crystalline a breezie is really fucking ironic lol

[unmakingandincorporeality]

Spoilers for Scott Pilgrim takes off

So 13 years ago Scott Pilgrim (the film, and then, much more effectively, the comics) called out a bunch of really shitty traits of mine, and it was the catalyst for a lot of self work and personal growth—it said stuff I needed to hear in a way I was able to listen to, and it means a lot to me for that reason.

It was also really powerful to experience a piece of media that showed a protagonist who is simultaneously pathetic and aspirational. Like, ngl, I saw a lot of who I am and a lot of who I want to be in both Scott and Ramona. It felt good to admire them and aspire to their better qualities, while also wanting them to do better to prove to myself that I could be better, and seeing in their depictions the ways in which some of the things I aspired to be actually sucked and needed rethinking.

(that last bit didn't actually feel good tbh, some of those books made me sick to my stomach and it took a long time before I was ready to read them a second time.)

And the new series has so much more in it that I want to talk about. Like, how the whole vibe of the show captures how being in love and being loved back feels, because it's not just that the other person feels really cool, it's that they make you feel like you're awesome, that they make the whole world feel like an adventure.

But the thing that I'm really dying to talk to someone about right this very second is the last episode, the bit where even older Scott is talking about how he spent ten years like a monk training every day to master all sorts of skills and shit, and even older Ramona is just like "it sounds like you just didn't go outside for ten years"

Because that narrative, of cloistering yourself and doing monklike work every day to perfect your abilities, is so, so common, and it's so, so bullshit. But it's SO FUCKING EASY to use it to justify not getting out of your fucking room, which is something I've absolutely been doing lately.

Anyway. I'm glad a work that I love and that helped me grow a lot came back and immediately punched me in the face with more character flaws I ought to be working on, but still made me feel excited about being the kind of person I am. I think, more than the other versions did, "Takes Off" really nails the important nuance that Scott and Ramona aren't truly aspirational figures, but they also aren't bad guys. They're flawed people who often hurt other people with their emotional cowardice, but they're also genuinely cool and exciting and are worthy of love. That the best case scenario isn't that they stop being Scott Pilgrim or Ramona Flowers, it's that they start being better to the people they care about and who care about them.

Anyway I'm gonna go hide under a rock for fear of judgment from people on the Internet seeing me call Scott Pilgrim (the character) cool

[amuseoffyre]

I've waxed lyrical before about the significance of beaches in OFMD a lot and now on my S2 rewatch, that theme is powerful. It's the place where the land and the sea meet, where two binaries overlap and blend together, where two worlds collide.

The fact that Stede and Ed's first kiss happens on a beach is So Much because Ed was told by Chauncey that "he's from my world, not yours". Here they are, caught somewhere between their worlds, not quite part of either anymore. (also, ware the Symbolic Sky! It has meaning)

Ed faces another big life choice right by that same place. He could have run on his own, but instead, this is when he returns to the ship, sliding back into the well worn rut that has been his life for decades. He tries to change it, but it doesn't end well.

And of course, the very next episode, Stede's own struggle with himself and his identity is (partially) resolved and he takes his first steps into his new life on a beach as well.

ngl, I adore the fact they started S2 with Stede on a beach again. There's an element of him trying to make up for his departure in 1x09. Ed told him to meet him at the beach and in their reunion, in Stede's wishful fantasy, not only is it a beach, but at a romantic golden sunset.

More significantly, they meet right on the tideline, where sea and land meet, the boundary between the two places. Not on the dry sand. Not in the sea. Right in the middle. Two worlds colliding again :)

The fact we jump from Stede's dream to Stede running to a real beach to write his letters and send his love out into the waves makes me think all his time spent at the beach is him trying to make amends again for the leaving Ed waiting for him on the beach alone.

Then we get into the metaphysical in Ed's purgatory, where Edward Teach, born on a beach, is found washed up on the tideline. Boundaries, liminal spaces, places that are both there and not. A perfect image of a space between living and death for a man who spent a life at sea.

Two conversations there also happen on the beach:

- Ed trying to get some kind of reaction about the stuff he's done and trying to articulate (but not aloud) that he feels bad about it - Ed realising exactly where he is and the choice ahead of him and how his actions impact on it

I'm a bit uncertain whether the fisherman sequence is a sea channel or a river, but either way, Ed ends up standing on the bank, contemplating life-stuff again (and compares himself to a wave again). He does end up on the water's edge a lot, whether on the shore or on docks.

And now we get to the big one - when he stops running from himself and chooses to reclaim his leathers and fight for the man he loves, where else could he emerge but at the place where boundaries blur and binaries are lost in the seafoam?

There's so much going on with the symbolism of Stede throwing his love in the sea and Ed doing the same with fears/hopes, but this moment, when Ed has reclaimed what he cast aside and emerged from the sea, determined and ready to act, Stede's love is there waiting for him 😍

Something something both of them meeting in the same space, but it's a space with no boundaries or blurring or misunderstanding, because they're both finally on the same page (and also not a super wet beach so Rhys wouldn't hurt his ankle again 😅)

Got to say given the significance of the beach in the Gravy Basket and this being almost exactly the same beach, I Am Sus, especially re. Izzy's fate. (Yes, I know, filming here was a technical thing, but I am always sus with a show with canon resurrections, ghosts and purgatory)

And, of course, the final beach, where Edward Teach is reborn to try and live how he wants to live instead of how life tells him to. Will it go smooth? Of course not. But they're gonna give it a go and still be close to that place that was home as well.

And last, but by no means least, this shot.

So, several fun facts:

our man is buried at the boundary of land and sea

old myths have seagulls as the souls of the dead

psychopomps (guides for the souls of the dead, often in animal/bird form) lead souls across boundaries

Buttons in love with the sea

a Sea Goddess is part of our lore- Calypso - who's name means "hiding the knowledge"

the Gravy Basket was about knowledge hidden in plain sight

"that's what I learned in the basket"

TLDR: seawitch who knows the basket from his own past experience in it and loves the Sea (goddess) here to guide soul out the basket

[calekinnieplus]

Would you look at that? Another update? So soon? Well, it's to be expected after WHAT I've read today hahah... 3 ½ hours of losing my mind, definitely worth an update! Reached chapter 1177 thanks to the desperation to reach a safe spot!

God, there's so much to talk about. I have to restrain myself from just endlessly talking about how much I love Klein Moretti rn. Like. So much. I will definitely be sprinkling my love for him in this post. A lot. I'll do that a lot.

OK, FOR A THOROUGH DISCUSSION, I'll pick up the chat from the ending of volume 5. Which means I'll talk about like... 20 chapters? Hm. They definitely felt more than 20 in number.

Amon kidnapped Klein after Klein successfully destroyed King George III's ritual, so he was exhausted and spent. Perfect opportunity for Amon, ngl.

The subsequent time spent together was full of ups and downs. Amon gave Klein hope that was barely in his reach until BOOM the reveal that it wasn't an avatar, but the actual true body! Man, wasn't that stressful.

That also came with the realization that Amon can't bear the risk of stealing Klein's destiny just like that. Win! For now...

We reach the destination that Amon was going for (in the Forsaken Land of the Gods, btw!! God, what a crazy place...) and there, ANOTHER motherfucking bomb gets left at our door.

Fucking Chernobyl. Fucking- it's Earth! It's always been Earth!

(That was spoiled in a partial manner to me. Like, I saw someone mention "Chernobyl" in relation to LOTM and I was like "wait what? No way- AH, NO THINKING ABOUT IT. IT'S SPOILERS" but inevitably I connected some dots.

Like, I distinctly remember how Roselle attempted to bring forth the industrial revolution, but when he searched for oil and such fuels, he was unsuccessful. Which made me think about the Chernobyl thing and wonder if the previous humans used it all up and eventually perished, but then another civilization rose and that's the present.

But uh. I didn't know about the fact that the ancestors of vampires and elves are ALSO humans?? Like wow. Incredible)

Paired with that comes the realization that Klein can't go home. Technically, he IS home. Just... not in his era :') AGH I cried. ESPECIALLY when he conjured the silhouettes of people dear to him that have long since perished. IT WAS SO SAD WBSJJDJD Man...

After that dreadful discovery, Klein doesn't let that stop his desire to escape Amon, implementing Another escape attempt, helped by the Evernight Goddess. Gosh, his escape attempts were so creative! And the interactions between him and Amon were so funny after them too lmao

Anyway, after Chernobyl, Klein digested the Scholar of Yore potion successfully AND escaped to Sefirah Castle after committing suicide (what an ODD way to escape).

And next, we have Klein thinking of ways to get back on his feet AND analyze his experiences. Which brings us to the NEXT big thing!

The third "transmigrator" is in fact the Evernight Goddess!

(Ok, I got fully spoiled on that. Booooooo...)

Still! She's taking such good care of Klein <33 what a lovely lady <33

During the Tarot Club, he put in motion his plans: collecting what he needs for the Miracle Invoker potion and strengthening the Tarot Club.

And thanks to the combined effort of Pallez, Derrick and himself of course, he successfully revived in the City of Silver and ran away! Yay!

That's where I am right now. But Man, the road to getting here was emotional.

Poor Klein... hunted from so many directions, no home to return to, friends and family to protect.

And let's not ignore the fact that Klein successfully escaped Amon!!! I mean, SURE, Amon was "playing" with him in a way. But that doesn't mean he wasn't taking Klein seriously, he just had a different goal than killing Klein, which was to take ownership of Sefirah Castle.

Klein is so resourceful, so determined, so intelligent. I adore himmm! Ahhhh and sometimes, he makes me sad, but he keeps going and that's just... hah... admirable.

Praise the Fool! Can't wait to read more, but definitely not tonight. Finally reached a point where I can close the book with a light heart, I'm not risking starting another stressful arc hahahah...

[vinbee631]

You Matter to Me

teehee I did a thing!!

day 7 of logince week finally!! I was inspired by a lil chat in the tss big bang discord server to finally write the last part of this, and ngl I'm very glad i did!

anyway, enjoy! (the prompt for this was 'importance' btw)

“I Love You!”

Roman stared at the big bubble letters in front of him and cringed.

Logan was coming home from school for winter break tomorrow, and after not seeing his boyfriend for- well, a long time, Roman wanted to do something special to show his appreciation.

They had both been extremely busy, Roman with his new acting job and Logan with graduate school, that they barely had the time to call each other once a week.

But now that they had the perfect opportunity for a wonderful date, or simply time spent as close to each other as possible, Roman stared at the project in front of him and cringed.

To be fair, his options were quite limited. Earlier that week, when he and Logan had been discussing plans over the phone, his boyfriend had expressed more interest in doing something together, at home. There was nothing wrong with their normal dates, out in public, going on hikes, visiting museums, what have you. But, the semester had taken a lot out of him, and it would be too overwhelming to have an outing like that the day after he finished exams.

So, to avoid any shutdowns, and to make the day as fun as it possibly could for both of them, Roman needed to come up with a different idea, something more private than the original plans he’d scoped out in his head weeks before asking his boyfriend about them.

No big deal, right?

He groaned dramatically, falling back to the floor so he wouldn’t have to look at the godforsaken banner anymore. He was already getting sick of his trash brain trying to convince him his idea wasn’t good enough, and he had only been working for about an hour or so.

It was intensely frustrating, to say the very least.

But off course, it was the perfect time for someone to knock on his door.

“It’s unlocked,” he called out, still lying supine as Gram made her way into his room and glanced over his abandoned project, laid out haphazardly across his bed.

“Looking good,” she noted with a sympathetic smile, “don’t you agree?”

Roman grunted, leaning up on his elbows. “Sure, absolutely, that’s why I’m throwing a perfectly mature and becoming tantrum on the floor.”

“It doesn’t quite look like a tantrum, I’ve seen your tantrums. No, this is… more like giving up, which is very unlike you,” she continued as she moved slowly to sit cross-legged near Roman’s feet.

“...I suppose you have a point. Either way, I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. I don’t have a plan anymore, the thing I started was garbage, so what’s even the point anyway?

“Well, first of all,” Gram started, “You love him. And in case it has escaped your notice, he loves you back. Regardless of what you decide to do with your time, he’s going to have fun, and he’s not going to stop loving you if it isn’t absolutely perfect.”

Roman rolled his eyes. Just because she was right didn’t mean she had to rub it in, or anything.

“Second, Logan has never actively disliked any dates you have put together. Remember back in July when you took him out for a picnic and it poured as soon as you sat down? The only complaints I heard that afternoon were from you. Logan was much more interested in the fact you had a white shirt on.”

Roman choked, blustering around the burning in his cheeks. “I- c’mon, Gram!”

“Third,” she continued despite the halfhearted protest, “you are about to see your partner in person for the first time in- what is it, four months? So, no matter what you do, it’s going to be special for both of you. No matter what I say, you’re going to stress about this whole thing, but I’m telling you, you don’t have to. That boy is just as cheesy as you are.”

“I swear, you can read minds,” Roman grumbled, but as she spoke he had crawled over to lay his head in her lap, so the effect was pretty much completely lost.

Gram chucked, ruffling his hair. “Pretty much, yes. Now, are you going to get off the floor and get back to work? You’ve only got about… maybe eighteen hours before Logan is supposed to arrive? Better make the most of them!”

Roman pouted as the teasing continued, but after a little bit more time spent laying in her lap, relaxing as she wove her fingers through his kinky hair, he sat up, finding the motivation to keep working, for Logan.

“Alright, alright, before you get completely focused, help an old woman up? It has been a long time since my sitting on the floor days.”

Roman chuckled but knelt down obligingly, supporting her back and holding her opposite hand as they stood. “Nah, you’re not old. Ancient though, that’s a much better descriptor.”

Gram whacked him on the arm, but she was smiling just as cheekily as he was. “I swear, the only thing I ever managed to get you to remember was my snarkiness. Never the important lessons, always the teasing.”

Roman chuckled fondly as she grumbled jokingly to herself, shutting the door quietly behind her. He took a beat to appreciate just how much he loved his family, and he was back to work, pacing and muttering to himself about the logistics of streamer placement.

…

The next morning, Roman woke two hours before his alarm was set to go off. That wasn’t particularly odd, as that sometimes happened when he was overly excited, but today, that wasn’t the case.

Someone was calling him. He groped blindly at his bedside table and fumbled his cell phone up to his ear.

“I swear to god, it’s too early to read. This better not be one of my brothers,” he yawned, rubbing at his eyes as he complained.

“Uh… n-not quite,” the person on the other end stammered, and Roman was surprised to find he didn’t immediately recognize their voice.

“I- sorry, do I know who this is? I could just be too tired to process any words, that is a very strong possibility.”

The person on the other end chuckled slightly. “I think we’ve met? I’m- this is Virgil, Logan’s roommate. I dunno, I just clicked the first contact that popped up, I promise I’m not snooping through his phone or anything stalker-y like that. I just didn’t know what-”

“Hey,” Roman interrupted softly, finally moving to sit, “it’s fine. Logan trusts you, so I have no reason not to. Er, anyway, what’s up? Is he in shutdown or something?”

“Kind of?” Virgil hesitated. “I… I mean, I know what it’s like when he shuts down. I’ve kinda… helped him with it before, but this isn’t… I don’t know what’s wrong.

“The… midterm exams and stuff, kinda took a lot out of- everyone? So, he came back last night and was totally out of it, and he immediately went to bed, which like- that’s college for ya, and I expected it, and like, same. But then… I tried checking in with him this morning and he’s… it doesn’t look like he’s moved all night but he’s not asleep and just kinda- staring at the wall, and I can’t… he won’t snap out of it? I guess? It’s… not good, whatever he had going on.”

Roman had stood up and begun to pace as Virgil spoke, but by the time he finished explaining, he stood motionless in the middle of the room. He let out a small sigh.

“Okay. That’s… yeah, that’s pretty bad. Uh… okay. I guess I should clarify, I’m his boyfriend, and I live less than an hour away. I can… it shouldn’t be a problem to pick him up but… I don’t wanna leave him like- that for so long. I guess… I can try talking to him over the phone? It’s something, I guess.”

“Uh, yeah… okay. You’re on speaker now,” Virgil announced, shuffling around on the other end. Roman didn’t start talking until the movement stopped.

“Hey, Logan? Can you hear me, sweetheart? I heard you’re having a hard time right now, and I wanna help. Can you tell me what’s wrong, or tap it out? Virgil’s here for you too, baby, we just wanna help you feel safe.”

There was silence on the other end for a minute or two before someone huffed, and Roman heard more shuffling.

“I… I don’t even think he blinked.”

Roman let out a heaving sigh. “Okay, okay, that’s… shit, okay. We’ll… I’ll head out in just a minute. I gotta, get some stuff together- is his stuff packed? Can you tell?”

Virgil huffed what could vaguely be considered a laugh, and Roman frowned. “I- sorry, yes. He’s packed. He said… he told me, something in his- that formal way he talks, but- he had to be ready, he couldn’t let his- exhaustion and shit get in the way of ‘going home.’ So he packed, like, way early. Before midterms even started, I think.”

Roman allowed himself a brief, sappy smile before rushing downstairs to put his shoes on. “Tha’s- yeah, that’s good. Okay… I’m gonna leave in just a few minutes. When do you have to head home? Can you… will you be there, until I get there?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely. A: I’m not leaving him alone like this, and B: I drive myself home. I can leave whenever, but we have to be out of here by… noon, or something. I dunno, I still need to pack the stuff I need to take back with me, and that’ll take me way more than an hour. Just- you can text Logan’s phone when you get here, and I’ll let you in.”

“I- good, thanks. And… I appreciate you, looking out for him. Someone has to do it when I’m not there. I’m glad… y’know, that he’s got you. You seem… nice.”

“Glowing praise,” Virgil snarked, seeming to regret it instantly as the line went dead silent right after. “Er, I mean, yeah, that’s kinda the bare minimum. And it’s… the- looking out for, each other, it’s mutual, definitely. But… thanks.”

“Of course,” Roman replied easily. “See you in an hour.”

“See ya.” The line clicked silent, and Roman just barely crumpled. Before he was able to rush out the door, he needed to make another call.

“Hey, Remus? I have a favor to cash in. Like… right now?”

…

The twins rode together in dead silence. Remus had been more than willing to jump straight out of bed and drive with his brother out to Logan’s apartment. With him there, they wouldn’t have to abandon Logan’s car, seeing as the aforementioned sleep-deprived student should not be doing so himself.

Roman still didn’t know exactly what was going on, but he figured if Logan had been that out of it this morning, he probably didn’t sleep. And whatever it was that was keeping him up, it was something serious.

He was, perhaps, being a bit irresponsible with his driving, but he saved them about ten minutes with his speeding. And he didn’t get caught in the act, so there wasn’t any point in being a narc, now was there?

But of course, he parked in the wrong lot and wasted ten minutes getting back to the right one because despite going there for four years, the campus was still as complicated and frustrating to navigate as it had been when he first started.

When he’d first met Logan…

He snapped himself out of that tangent, leading his brother along to where Virgil was waiting for them, fidgeting with his hoodie sleeve in one hand and waving them over with the other.

“Uh, hey. Didn’t realize there were two of you,” he joked awkwardly. “...Anyway, uh- follow me, I guess.”

Virgil led them up a set of stairs and down the hall to their room. Roman had visited once before, but he couldn’t have picked out the floor Logan was living on, much less the room, and especially in a time crunch- yeah, he was really glad Virgil was around.

Sure enough, when he unlocked the door and brought the twins inside, there was Logan, lying curled up in a tight ball on his side and staring at nothing.

It was… concerning, to say the least.

Remus talked with Virgil for a bit, the latter filling him in on what he and Roman had discussed over the phone, and the two agreed to give them some space by starting the process of loading up Virgil’s and Logan’s car with their suitcases.

That left Roman, sitting slowly on the floor by Logan’s bed and resting his chin on the mattress. Logan continued to stare past him.

“Hey, honey,” he called gently, reaching up to weave a hand through Logan’s hair. “Where’d you go? Hm? Hiding from me, on our anniversary? Kinda rude, but I suppose I’ll live. How ‘bout you come back? We can talk all you want about it, or none at all if that makes you feel better.”

Logan didn’t quite stir, but it looked less like his eyes were glazed over and more like he was staring at Roman’s forehead. That was something, at least.

“Um, let’s see. I’m sure we have some of your cubes around if you need to focus on something else for a bit. Whatever’s got you trapped in there-” Roman ever-so-gently rapped a knuckle on Logan’s temple, making his eyes blink closed- “doesn’t look like much fun. Or, I could squish ya.”

Logan’s eyes flashed open at that, and he flicked his gaze down to Roman’s left shoulder.

‘Yes.’

“Okay, yes to the squish, it is!” He cheered softly, shifting off the floor with a small grunt and maneuvering himself to lay right next to Logan.

“Fancy meeting you here,” he joked under his breath. “Okay, baby. Gonna need to- shift us around a little bit. Do you think you can unwind for me? I can’t properly squish a Logan ball.”

Logan frowned, but with a little bit of help from his boyfriend, he was able to relax enough to lay flat on his back, pressed comfortably into the mattress under him by Roman’s full body weight.

“That better?” Roman was relieved to see him nod slowly, closing his eyes and leaning back into his pillow.

He wasn’t sure how long they lay like that. Every so often, Remus and Virgil would pop back in for the rest of their bags or to check on them, but after a while, they took a break to get lunch together.

“So,” Roman started, wincing as his voice cracked slightly, the sudden break in silence apparently startling his vocal cords, “do you want to talk about it? Or, sign about it, I suppose. Are you verbal right now?”

Logan huffed, shifting to free his hands. 'Semi-verbal, but yes. I should, quote-unquote ‘sign’ about it, if I can find the right words.'

Roman nodded, allowing him to take whatever time he needed to figure out his thoughts. He hummed under his breath, watching as Logan relaxed slightly, tapping along the side of his arm to the beat.

“Yesterday, I was on my way… here after my final midterm, and I ran into- someone. Another graduate student I have met in passing, but… mm.”

‘He made an unfortunately timed joke,’ he signed, ‘about my supposed interest in winter courses, something I have, admittedly done in the past, but..’ His movements paused, and he huffed again.

‘The way he phrased it, I just… it made me think of Dad.’

Roman blinked in surprise. Logan never talked about his dad, not even to Gram. Roman had asked, way back when they first met, what his family was like, and Logan had talked about his mother and grandad. Even after years of being friends, and then boyfriends, any questions about his biological dad were dismissed, fast enough that Roman didn’t even question the dismissal.

So, this was probably pretty bad.

“I… do not remember much, from when he was still alive,” Logan continued. “But, most of the… active cruelty, was on his part.”

“My…” he hummed, shifting his hands from where they previously gripped Roman’s shirt. ‘My mother and her father continued the behavior, the encouragement of toxic work ethic and rejection of the accommodations I needed to not shut down. But he started it. I just didn’t realize how harmful it was at the time. Not until years after he died.’

“Oh, darling,” Roman cooed, leaning closer to Logan to press a feather-light kiss to his forehead. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I’m sure you know by now how awful and unnecessary that behavior is, but being reminded of it right before your first chance to take a break? I can’t imagine… I’m so sorry, beloved.”

Logan didn’t have much else to say, after that. He squished his forehead into Roman’s shoulder and they cuddled for a while longer. He didn’t cry, surprisingly enough. Roman wasn’t quite sure why he expected him to, but his partner didn’t seem any less appreciative of the affection regardless of the lack of emotional release.

Instead, a few minutes later, he sighed happily into Roman’s ear, finding enough of his voice to whisper. “I love you.”

Roman thought back to the banner, how his stress from yesterday about the perfect date seemed so inconsequential when he had Logan in his arms. He thought about how all he wanted to do now was hold his partner for the rest of the day and support him through all the troubles he never should have dealt with in the first place.

“I love you, too.”

[persephoneflouwers]

So I read your posts about Saturdays and I agree with your analysis, I liked them a lot, thanks for making them because I couldn't put some thoughts into words like you did. What I was going with this anon is that I don't understand why when Louis sang it live there was a sea of ​​rainbows. I'm not against it or anything, I really love everything and the different interpretations seem perfect to me. But I don't understand how they connect Saturdays with something related to the community? I ask you why you can explain me better. I thought that maybe how the melody can convey hope to you, something like "yes, we said that Saturdays take away the pain but it's not always like that, and that's fine" and as if as the song progresses everything intensifies until it reaches the boom and yell "today may not be okay, my heart may be broken, but this isn't always going to be this way either, and it's okay because I'm going to be!" I don't know if what I said is logical but it's just thoughts I had at 1:30 am hahaha sorry for bothering you, I hope you're well :))

Hi angel! How are you? Thank you for asking. Saturdays is a layered song, it’s not easy to extract the true meaning and obviously every analysis is personal and super-valid. I was surprised to see the rainbows during the song ngl! Saturdays is such a melancholic song and maybe people like to involve it during fan actions because the slow tempo and the emotional burden it carries help building an intimate moment with all the flags and colours. Personally I would choose different songs for rainbows (bigger than me would be my first choice!).

If we go a bit through the lyrics of Saturdays, they don’t stand out as very queer to me. But that’s my interpretation and I can’t really talk over how a song can resonate for other fans. There are some lines that can recall this image of belonging to a queer community. For example “I’m not supposed to be feeling dirty cheap in Silver street”. It can be read as “i’m alone (dirty cheap) in a crowd (silver street)”, like a way of saying he struggles to find his place in a community where he doesn’t feel like he belongs entirely because he’s not out? Is he acknowledging the fact that his public image doesn’t meet the community standards in a way? Idk. This feels a bit forced and too much projection imo. That’s why my interpretation of the song goes in a complete different direction.

What I find extremely interesting when it comes to Louis’s songs is how constant such themes happen to be. Of course, I don’t know what they mean to him but this consistency helps me figure out.

He mentions change/changes/changing a lot in his songs. There are songs where he says change is inevitable and others where he says nothing changes. I don’t think he is contradicting himself (possible, but I like to give things a deep meaning usually). I think he refers to changes in different ways because he’s approaching changes in different moments, situations. I will elaborate my thoughts a bit. And I’m sorry this is taking so long to reply… anyway. Let’s report how many times Louis talks about this topic in his songs:

The Greatest: time came and changed it all

Bigger Than Me: when somebody told me I would change

Saturdays: some things change

Common People: nothing’s changed

Holding Onto Heartache: the nights they changed in seasons

Change: everything has changed, but I feel the same inside.

High in California: spent my whole life just thinking I had to change

COACOAC is the epitome of things that don’t change.

I listened to walls after a loooong time and AFAIK this topic/word are not in it. There are references to changes VS something that remains the same tho. Habit, Always you etc give this idea of a person/a thing that stays when everything around is somehow changing. Surprisingly Perfect Now has the line don’t ever change, which made my heart happy cause I love PN and she didn’t deserve the treatment she got starting from Louis and from all fans too but alas.

Where I am going with this is clearly change(s) are a huge topic in Louis’ music. I know my method of analysis is too scientific but making a list of how he approaches the topic in his songs allows me to distinguish 2 big categories that I will label as “Change YES” and “Change NO” lol.

I can’t go on for ever about this, I’ll cut it short. To me, when he wants to talk about the person he is or wants to be, about his personal journey with his sexuality, inner struggles and/or inner emotional fights, his resolution is clear: he’s not changed. He embraces it and accepts it (when you know, you know in OTB / I can tell you’re the same as me in ATT / all the above mentioned examples). My point is when he speaks on his queerness experience or the perception of it, he seems pretty sure he can’t change. Just to elaborate it a bit: somebody told him he would change in BTM, meaning he hasn’t changed and we knew already because he had made it pretty clear in Change and obviously in COACOAC.

When he’s talking about daily life things, ordinary things… well shit happens and he knows it. He knows some events can happen that will change more or less you and the way you go on with your days. Events like grief, hiatus, decisions from when you were 18… do you see what I mean?

That’s a pretty safe key for me to interpret his songs actually. Of course, I may be wrong! But til now, this Change YES/NO algorithm (lol) has helped me navigate his lyrics with a clear idea in mind. My opinion might be a little biased since I associate the poetics of Saturday as a concept to the poets I’ve read before with the theory of pleasure and stuff, but it makes sense to me like this for now!

We could write a similar post about the way he drops light/dark theme too, but that’s another story.

Hope this answered your question and thank you for asking <3

[flashbic]

ok gimme II. 14 and III. 2 for You Know Who

Ok so this is all from the Big Fanfic Setting

II. 14) Songs that apply to their relationship:

i guess most of the ones i have apply more to the beginning of their relationship or riiight before? But finding stuff that matches the vibe has been a giant pain in general asdjgk

Pierre Lapointe’s 27-100 rue des partances is a Big Fave for le Lorrain in general, but the instrumental version specifically i listened to a lot while thinking about these two learning to get along and appreciate each other! i do like some soft piano, what can i say. The lyrics being tinted with regret is also a good vibe, even if it’s not a perfect fit!

Another Pierre Lapointe one: Plaisirs dénudés, which matches Falconi’s vibe a bit more! While le Lorrain is at peace pretty quick with his feelings and decides to keep them to himself because he thinks the timing is Not Good (he’s right!), Falconi is a whole lot less confident about, well, everything.The Cartouchiens offered him friendship, and the happiness he gets from that weird situation feels extremely temporary and fragile. Those feelings he develops for le Lorrain a bit later, he develops in spite of himself… He can’t help but have the tiniest bit of hope here, but at the same time keeps trying to convince himself that none of the happiness he finds in his current situation is something that will last.

….........ngl Moi, je t’aimerai has something desperately intense (and also intensely desperate) about it that would match the first time they fuck yeah they’re all Pierre Lapointe songs what of it

(for songs about their canon vibes please refer to uhhhhhh most of The Mountain Goats' Bleed Out)

III 2) What’s their love languages

i only have vague knowlege of the whole love languages thing and didnt really dig to get the proper lingo, so hopefulyl this still anwers the question properly adfkgkh

Le Lorrain expresses love with words and via gift-giving, two things he’s annoyingly talented at. He adores spending time figuring out the perfect gift that will make someone happy, and Falconi is a particularly fun target here because for awhile figuring out what he likes is a bit of a struggle? He likes a challenge! In the end, the perfect gift at the right moment is the very first thing that helps Falconi let his guard down, so le Lorrain is particularly proud of that one :p Compliments and little “I love yous” are also big faves with Falconi in particular because he somehow never seems to expect them and gets a bit flustered every. single. time. Even when he pretends to roll his eyes about it.

In return, he craves physical touch so, so much. He wants to feel warmth and closeness!! And wants gentle little touches!! The fact that Falconi in general doesn’t touch people a lot if he can avoid it makes those gestures even more significant, it makes him feel special and important in a way that makes him deeply happy. Sharing time just the two of them is also very much something that ends up helping them get closer at first; they get to, like, actually talk, and suddenly find they actually don’t hate everything about each other? It’s a habit they keep; a quiet evening together, spent just talking and reading and just finding comfort in each other’s company is something they both love. 

Falconi doesn’t like people touching him most of the time, but he will reach out to people he particularly trusts and loves. With le Lorrain, that means a whole lot of small touches; always standing close (a bit too close tbh!) when they’re together, reaching out and touching his hand to get his attention, touching his face when they’re alone. He’ll take off his gloves just to feel le Lorrain’s skin against his hands, and while that probably doesn’t seem like much, le Lorrain knows perfectly how much love and trust that gesture implies. Falconi loves seeing these small touches reciprocated; it takes him awhile to get really comfortable with it, but it’s something he wants… Otherwise, he really tries to show affection through his actions; so often he feels like words fail him, so he figures he might as well try to show he cares in other ways. Sometimes it’s gifts, other times it’s arranging things so they can spend time alone. He’s thoughtful!