#i mean i have my school friends and i love them but theyre shitty people ngl

[artdcnaldson]

ok ok ok so i have a thought for pats sister au, i mentioned it a while ago cuz someone was talking about something similar

this isnt like that smutty and slutty, but i need them to also just be a little bit happy. and as much as i love love love mean art, i do need him to be a little bit sweet to her now

but im thinking now that he's like fucking her at every chance he gets, that means hes spending a lot of time with her in general. including parties!!!! they start going together instead of just leaving together. not officially or anything because it would undoubtedly get back to pat, so they're just going with a few mutual friends and pretend its a group thing. its also easier for art to pretend like he doesnt just want to be with you and only you. maybe this party is at a sorority instead of a frat, so art lets his guard down a little. there arent as many guys who art knows, meaning even less guys who might happen to know patrick. and hes not too concerned with all the girls considering girl code or whatever.

so he lets himself party more than he usually would, lets himself drink that extra drink (truthfully a few extra) and stand just that bit closer to her (very much closer, practically leaning against her), he even dances with her, something he's never done with a girl. they lean in close when theyre talking, anyone who didnt know them would assume they were a couple, or at least well on their way to becoming one. TIHI!!!

its a pretty rowdy party, art is shocked he thought the frat parties got out of hand but this was wild. before either of them realize it, theyre both wasted, having the time of their lives, but definitely drunk. their friends have started heading home, but they decide to stick around and keep the party going. his arm is around her, hand on her waist slowly but surely wandering down to rest on her ass, accompanied by the occasional squeeze just to make her fidget. hes letting her get close to him. its nothing too suspicious though, no kissing or outright sexual touch, with the right words it could be explained away as friendly, in case patrick should hear about it.

BUT art is drunk, and drunk stanford art is a party boy, i believe this in my heart and core. he is getting reckless, forgetting about patricj and that he's supposed to keep discreet. he is doing shots, hes making her do shots, hes making any- and everyone do shots with him. and im thinking its one of, or both of, 2 things.

hes taking a shot and then spitting into pats sisters mouth

i see this happening like spontaneously, maybe there's only one shot left in the bottle and art has the genius idea that you'll just share it. she doesnt get what he means but he'll just show her. takes the shot, leaves it in this mouth, grabs her jaw and brings her real close to him. she thinks hes going to kiss her, but he pries her mouth open instead, tilts her head back, and spits the shitty liquor right into her mouth. hand tight around her jaw to keep her in place, eyes on hers, just like when he spits in her mouth fr

OR/and later in the evening

2. tequila body shots

this i see happening as just a sudden idea art has. and hes insisting its a great idea, and he'll even let her start so it doesnt seem like hes just trying to get her naked. so he lays on like a sticky, honestly downright nasty, bartop. he takes off his shirt and ugh he just looks so fucking good. pats sister is getting so possessive with all these girls around ogling at her man lol, shes all too eager to mark her territory. so the way weve always done it where i live is tequila poured in the belly button, salt in a line up the chest and lime in their mouth so you have to kiss them to get it. ive learnt from going to international school that thats apparently not universal? let me know about that cuz confusing? how else?

anyway. she takes the shot off of him, taking her time lick up his chest and even longer to get the lime from between his lips. its not like people are really looking at them, but even if they were those two are too drunk to notice or care. when its her turn hes really making a show of it, gets her to take her shirt off, but lets her keep the bra (its practically see-through with all the lace anyway), but he insists that she has to unbutton her jeans because he also wants salt before the shot or whatever. hes making something up, he just wants to see what panties shes wearing and see if he can smell her sweet pussy. he knows she wet, he can tell. hes just as bad as her, if not worse.

then when the party is ending they're definitely going back together, theyre probably too drunk to even try to have sex. just sloppy and stumbling everywhere. they end up passing out in arts bed together, he only just managed to get them both into some of his clothes and decent for bed, boxers for him and just a shirt and panties for her. in the morning they wake up cuddled close. its the first time theyve slept in the same bed, the first time theyve cuddled, its the first time theyve slept in the same room since art first took her virginity. and now they'd spent the night together without having sex at all. it kind of changes things for them... but not too much :)

-🐞

GODDDDD THIS HAS LIVED SOOO RENT FREE. I'm fucking dead it's too beautiful, too perfect. Also body shots are The Same for me as well so ur so valid <3

You're surprised when the invite comes through your phone— when Art asks for you to come with him to a house party hosted by some sorority girl in one of his classes. He heard about it, heard that they can be fun, wants to see you there.

And, god, you pretty yourself up so much for it— a skimpy little tank top that he can see your bra through, a tiny little denim skirt, sweet, sparkly makeup that catches in the fucking strobe lights set up around the living room. You’re nursing a cocktail of pink lemonade and vodka, leaning against his side as he downs another fucking glass of jungle juice. He’s definitely on the wrong side of drunk, or else he wouldn’t be all over you the way he is.

And you’re fucking living for it, the way he keeps one hand slung around your waist, tugs you closer against him so you’re practically one fucking entity. He puts a fucking glowing test tube shot to your lips, eyes lighting up as you eagerly swallow it down. He could spit directly onto your tongue, in front of everyone and you’d fucking let him.

So he does. He downs a tequila shot, grabs your chin and you’re all wide eyed and eager as you look up at him. He spits it into your open mouth and you swallow it down, nose wrinkling at the taste. You like sweet things— fancy champagne, mixed drinks that are mostly juice. But you smile at him once you’ve swallowed down the tequila, giggling and buzzy.

But auuhghghgh body shots :((( he’s such a lecherous little perv, he gets off on the attention from you so bad. Wants everyone to see how bad you want him, how possessive and needy. Sucking the liquor from his naval, tongue flat as you lick up the line of salt you’d carefully tapped up his torso. He watches how your lashes flutter as you lick along his skin, the salt course on your tongue complimenting the sweaty taste of his skin. Maybe you linger there a little longer than what’s comfortable for anyone else watching. You take the lime from his mouth biting down so you can suck the juices from it.

It’s a little clumsy— you’ve never done one before, but you’d practically bouncing on your feet when you ask him to do one from you. He practically drops you on the table, fumbles his way to pulling off your shirt, tosses it somewhere neither of you will ever fucking see again.

He lines up the salt between your tits, in the pretty valley between the pink lace. You squirm when he pours the tequila into your belly button, he watches it slosh and spill as the muscles of your abdomen tremble. You bite your lip as he unbuttons your skirt, tugs it down just until he sees the pretty lacy pink of your panties, a perfect match to your bra.

God, you wanted him to fuck you so bad— you were practically wearing a sign around your neck that said it. He taps out a line of salt, licks from the waistband of your panties up to your naval, and sucks the liquor from it. His tongue laves at you— a long line between your belly button up to the hollow of your throat.

The rest of the party falls away— it’s just you and Art and you’re honestly pretty convinced he’s going to just fuck you on the table— stake his claim, lick into your mouth until all you know is salt and tequila and citrus and spit.

He bites into the lime and you taste the juice as it sprays into his mouth and drips back onto yours.

You hear people, absently, far in the back of your mind. You’re so fucking gone— you’re embarrassing yourselves, both of you. Art tugs his shirt over your head after the mindless, three-second search for your tank top comes back fruitless.

“Wanna go home?” He asks, his breath hot and his words clumsy against the shell of your ear. Home. Yeah, his dorm pretty much is home to you at this point. His hand’s in your back pocket and you’re waving a tipsy goodbye to your friends, clinging onto Art as you start the trek back to the dorms.

He presses you against a tree halfway back, kisses you hot and urgent and needy. Then again in the stairway up to his room— pins you against a set of windows, smiling and laughing against your mouth as some unfortunate soul catches him with his fingers between your thighs.

By the time you get back to his dorm, you’re basically buzzing with need, want, giddiness, affection. Art can’t get hard because he’s so fucked up, ends up giggling about it against your shoulder, mouthing against your salty, sweaty skin with wet, open-mouthed kisses. He collapses into the bed, tugs you against his side and falls asleep with his face buried in your hair and warm, possessive hands on your body.

You’re both asleep in minutes.

[platonicmoonwater00]

I see these everywhere. and i mean EVERYWHERE. and also i need motivation so lets go ig

10 notes- i'll drink on weekends too(i forget cos on weekends im just at home and not at school lugging around my frank green in my tote bag)

20 notes- i will(try to) pay attention in class

30 notes- i'll watch my whole watch later playlist on yt

50 notes- i'll actually do the techniques im learning in ✨therapy✨ to help with my anxiety and shitty social skills

75 notes- i'll take my iron tablets every day

100 notes- i'll start my assessments when i get them(i have one due tomorrow which i was gonna finish now but i'm doing this apparently)

125 notes- i'll ask my crush to hangout alone during spring holidays

150 notes- i'll try to go for a run or at least a walk every day

500 notes- i'll write another chapter of my fanfiction

1k notes- i will actually make an effort to get clean

2k notes- if i see someone pretty that i want to go out w in public i'll ask for their number cos holy fuck i need to put myself out there. even if we js end up being friends cos holy shit im lonely

3k notes- i will actually finished the dress i started making

4k notes- i will try to get over my crush cos its ✨never gonna happen✨(she so pretty and masc tho its gonna be hard)

5k notes- (this is so far up here cos idk how to do this so im gonnna need a lot of time to figure out how) im gonna try to demolish the rumour that im gay thats going around a bit.**

6k notes- i will finish all my crochet projects and not start any new ones until im done.

**context. i go to an all girls school and theres a lot of people so its not like everyone knows everyone, even in my year(theres approx. 174 in my year alone, and theres 6 year groups at my school cos high school is 7-12 where i live) but some people know me ig cos i know a few girl who are more notable, im in the top class and i recdntly started sitting with a group that the popular girls call furries.

(theyre a pretty big group and popular girls hate them cos one or two of them are trans - ftm, ftnb etc, no mtf cos my lovely/s catholic school wouldnt let trans girls in- several of them are gay, a few of them are emo, most of them are poc's and a few of them dont have english as their first language. overall they are seen as the "weird kids" in my year)

so this rumour apparently is going around that i like a girl in my class(i absolutely do but if you havent noticed my school is hella hoomophobic and i could very well get beat) which js isnt ideal and is gonna lead to a lot of issues, especially if a lot of people start believing it so if you guys have any advice pls lmk. and its not like i can js get a fake bf and show him off cos its a GIRLS SCHOOL. if i reconnect with a friend from primary school tho we could pretend to be dating and like make a post on social media. but then kids at his school would find out and hed either have to tell them its fake(which would eventually find its way back to my school, and when i say eventually i mean immediately) or he couldnt get a girlfriend so that probs wouldnt work.

i know it sounds like im making a mountain out of a molehill but ive got years to go here and i dont want to spend all my high school years getting bullied bc even if i went to a teacher about it or smthing id have to like analyse them first and try to figure out which ones are homophobic or not.

like learning about why "being gay is a sin"(pretend im saying that really mockingly) is literally in our curriculum.

holy shit that was longer than expected.

no pressure tags: @wishiwereheather13 @loserboyfriendrjl @fracturedsunsets @chasingthemoony @stars-and-leather @starsofleo

thats all im doing idk how you guys can stand js copy and pasting moots over and over i cant do this i did the first six that came up and that seems like enough 🤷‍♀️

begun doing

going to do

finished

[we-are-inevitable]

au where davey gets married to his boyfriend (who is kind of a dick) right out of high school, but his self esteem is so shot that hes like. ok this is probably my only time to get married. sure. lets do this.

and it works for a few months. davey plays it up. he has a shitty little one bedroom with his husband who never cooks, never cleans, rarely talks to him when theyre not in the same room- but davey understands. he tries to, at least. davey knows he’s not the perfect husband. he’s not as attractive as he should be (he goes to the gym often and hates what he sees in the mirror), he’s not a perfect student (he’s an honors student with a 3.9 GPA), he’s not the perfect husband (his cooking is mostly hit but rarely miss)— he’s not perfect like he should be, so it makes sense that his husband- Oscar Delancey- doesn’t like spending time with him.

davey isn’t perfect. but davey is also a student who works hard. davey, who didn’t have many friends in high school, joins a study group in his chem lab and meets a boy who goes by Racetrack. race has a boyfriend named Albert, and albert has a friend named Jack, and jack has a brother named Charlie and suddenly they’re all spending time with each other all the time. davey is undoubtedly the only introvert in the group. he rarely talks, he’s soft spoken, he doesn’t really have any opinions on anything. he doesn’t talk about his husband.

one night, they’re all hanging out, and davey gets *hammered.* he’s staying over at race’s house anyway- oscar is out of town with his brother, so davey can actually have fun and stay out and get drunk, since he’s not allowed to drink at home. oscar says he’s loud and annoying when he’s drunk. anyway, davey gets drunk, and talks about his relationship, loudly, and talks about how oscar thinks he needs to lose weight and needs to drop out of college and needs to stay at home and stop going out with his friends, and davey says these like they’re normal.

everyone else in the group is immediately on the same page. they don’t tell davey to leave oscar, they know that wouldn’t work, but,, they start complimenting him more. they start focusing on him. talking about his accomplishments, jack especially. (jack being the friend who is like “ugh slay im in love with you ill make out with you right here right now” but he means it and davey doesnt know he means it). they do this until davey starts to believe it. they do this until davey is sending daily fit checks in the group chat. because for a long time he was the only one who didn’t send any. they do this until davey starts buying clothes he actually likes, until davey starts showing more skin, until davey starts experimenting with his style, despite the fact that oscar doesn’t like it. they start doing this until davey comes clubbing with them and actually has fun.

they start doing this until davey cheats on oscar and loves it.

and davey understands that he’s a bad person. he knows he’s being terrible. but its also like . Wow I’m having fun. I want this. This is a bad thing to do and I am a shitty person but I want this.

i haven’t decided how long i want it to last. maybe davey cheats with one person and immediately tells oscar he wants a divorce. maybe davey hooks up with multiple people over the course of a month (or three) before dropping the ball on oscar. it doesn’t matter, right? because oscar doesn’t even pay attention to him, doesn’t kiss him, doesn’t hold him, doesn’t want to be intimate with him— it’s only natural that davey ended up cheating.

with jack, probably. after the first guy, davey probably realizes that he wants jack, and his paint-stained hands, and his brown eyes, and his smile and his giggle and all of the good and bad that comes with it. starting a sort of relationship behind oscar’s back but never labeling it, until davey reveals that he wants a divorce and is immediately kicked out. davey moving in with jack instantly, and when they’re in bed together that night, jack asks davey to be his boyfriend and davey says yes. because why wouldn’t he?

why wouldn’t he?

he’s finally happy. jack doesn’t hurt him, jack doesn’t think he’s less than. jack doesn’t berate him. jack cooks him dinner and jack buys him little gifts- even before they started fooling around- and jack spends time with him and jack talks to him and jack loves him. jack likes it when he gets riled up. jack listens to him ramble on about his special interests and asks questions because he wants to. jack likes davey’s rough side, davey’s mean side, davey’s bitchy comments, davey’s strong will, davey’s hills he’ll die on.

jack likes davey. oscar doesn’t. and thats all it takes for davey to leave and finally start living.

[femmesandhoney]

I'm jealous of how many of you on radblr have like good enough moms. Mine was like beyond fucking abusive and I definitely got some internalized misogyny as a result.

And I'm not like trying to play trauma olympics or whatever, like I'm really not. I just see how a lot of you get this female solidarity thingy from your moms, and how much you love her and how much she scarcified for you and all that.

I can't relate to any of these things, the only person that tried and like fought for me was my dad so when you go on about your misandry I just feel so?? Idk i just dont have that anger in common with you.

And no this is not me saying that my dad is "one of the good ones", or that misandry is an overreaction to male oppression. I really need you to know that I don't have any bad intentions w this message.

This is kinda rambly. My US visa got approved today like 1 hour ago, and I only got 30 mins of happiness before she ruined everything.

I'm honestly glad it's at least over it was such a hassle. So yay I guess

Oh anon :( i don't think many people here have good relationships w their moms in a fantastic peas in a pod way. I love my mom, but she also fucked me up in many ways too. Everyone has various relationships w their mothers and the good parts people share here are likely not at all a good picture to compare yourself to either.

And there are definitely plenty of women here or whom we all know with terrible mothers. Women aren't immune to being bad parents and bad people just bc theyre women, obviously. One of my best friends growing up was raised by her dad and her mother was horrible. She was an alcoholic and never sent them to school. Her dad fought for custody of her and her brother, and he raised and loved them well. I would never try to defend her mother just bc shes a woman, she was an insanely horrible person and mother. Thats just an example of, like duh, there are fine fathers out there. Not every woman grows up w perfect moms. I think the idea that there's a way to be a perfect mother is also stupid, theyre people just like us. So i wouldn't necessarily be jealous of anyone. Even the "best" mom or dad will fuck up their kid in some way, thats just how being a parent works i think.

Im not sure what u mean about the misandry thing tho. We don't necessarily bond over our hatred of our fathers or our commonality of good mothers. Often we talk about how shitty men around us are yeah, which often will be immediate figures like fathers or male family, but misandry is about like all men being quite shitty a lot of the time in various ways lol? You don't gotta like start hating ur dad specifically when u start recognizing the patterns of male depravity and shittiness in the world 💀 i mean u could, but like no one is saying plz start hating ur dad if u have no real reason to. theres plenty of other shitty men to hate take ur pick lmao

[rwqv]

h\getting personal on main????//? no way dawg

cw/ a very very stupid person

anywyays . please fucking help me . i am in a predicament

so this girl asked me out (i hate her. i do not like her. she is a shitty human being.) in a long ass note laa dee fucking daa where she basically admitted she had a SEXUAL crush on me. not ok!!11!1 dni dawg read my boundaries smh

but like. yeah. anyways, i share an english class with her. i purposefully sat at a different table than her, because, again, I DONT LIKE HER. i was waiting for my friend and guess who didn’t show up!!11 my friend!!!1 guess who did!!11 the people she absolutely hates!1!1 (theyre super nice i love them to the ends of the world they are just so nice i could never talk shit about them <3 /p)

so yeah. she was all alone at the damn table by herself looking goofy as fuck (did i mention she looked stupid)

but i dont want beef w/her cause thats gonna cause me TONS of trouble. i aint want that shit. so i tried to be nice to her (halfway across the room LMFAOOOOOOOOO)

but!!! apparently!!! im a moron!!! not only did i try to include her in the class discussion, but i accidentally!!!! did a heart with my fingers at her!!!

anyone who knows me knows i am asexual. aromantic spec too!!! i meant it in a platonic way . guess what happened

HER FACE WENT REDDER THAN A DAMN APPLE. IT WAS RED. i knew i fucked up then

i still have yet to respond to her letter where she said she rlly liked me (because i am totally a girl!!11!11!1 mf read the damn room i wore a suit n tie to homecoming shouldnt that tell you something)

so i heard from a best friend that NOW SHE THINKS I LIKE HER. QUITE THE OPPOSITE REALLY.

thats the story, heres the predicament.

i want to tell her this. it would be very easy, if i just went up to her and told her “yo i dont mean to lead you on im asexual and arospec not interested in you youre a great person though, sorry about that!!”

the problem is ,,, i dont know if i feel safe going up to her!!! 1. shes highly unpredictable. 2. she has said before basically that she has some sort of ASIAN FETISH, AND THAT I WAS A PART OF IT. (feell rlly bad for the other visible asian kid in my school, props to his ass)

ok then, you might say, go with a friend!

that also has bad repercussions. my friend geoup is not on the best of terms with her, my closest companion absolutely hating her ass and it being known worldwide that they arent in good kahoots. 2. she will know that i have talked to a friend about the letter and start shit talking me to everyone else, thereinby ruining my record

nevertheless, now shes spouting off shit about me liking her. help ^_^

[midnighteloquence]

watashi wa jisatsu shitaidesu

ignore whatever that means its a /nsrs

anyways! lets talk about why i no longer like friend d!

so im gonna split this rant into TWO PARTS!

Part A: things ive noticed myself/seen first hand

okay number one! they said that theyre diagnosed with bipolar, which THEY ARENT. first off, diagnosis are expensive asf no matter what youre trying to diagnose and im not being mean at all but just saying theyre on the free lunches plan soo, two diagnosis takes agessss and they just so happen to suddenly have one??

number two, theyll shit talk like everyone. i only started noticing recently that most of what comes out of their mouth is shit talk. and its fine if you have a lot to say about shitty people but then you immediately talk to them again as if you didnt just say you want to curb stomp them?? it gets confusing and ngl is really bitchy

number three! milked tf out of the fact that one of their friends said they might be autistic. which no. autism isnt something you should milk for attention!! and like the only symptoms they have are the depressive ones which USUALLY should lead you to believe that maybe you just have depression? idk im not a psychologist

on that note, they want to be a psychologist, yet doesnt understand why people act the way they do (like theyll shittalk people for things they cant fucking control) and also has rheir own problems? this would most likely be even more self destructive right? to have to solve others mental health before your own? idk im just thinking

also also they seem to care more about getting into relationships (AT THE AGE THEYRE AT) than grades which uh. yes i am literally on my knees yearning for a relationship but also at least im actually doing school and excelling academically ✌️

plus dont you gotta do good at school to be a psychologist?? thats like a really hard subject

Part B: things ive been told

this part is where it gets more blurry, since some isnt backed up (but most is dw!)

they dated C two years ago and used to do freaky shi to them at the back of the bus (make out, cuddle, touch thighs, etc), which a friend of ours i’ll call F saw first hand! um ew.

they trauma dumped on C first things first which uh

C and F would sit with each other a lot and talk alotttt because theyre both neurodivergent and nd people tend to go well and D got all pissy and like “me when my friends leave me out..” and so to shut them up (shut me up? by msi?) F told them that they might be autistic and they started milking tf out of it

told a bunch of people that C sa’d them which C did not! also told F that C’s sa story was fake and that C mentally and physically abused them (there are screenshot proof of D saying this btw!)

told people that im not autistic and that im faking it because im self diagnosed which THEY LITERALLY ARE + IVE DONE COUNTLESS HOURS OF RESEARCH ON AUTISM LEAVE ME ALONE

something ive noticed but isnt it weird that all their relationships lasted only a couple months? kinda says something

would manipulate people into taking their side by saying “oh dw its my fault not theirs!”

on that note their recent partner broke up with them AND GAVE A WHOLE ASS GOOGLE DOC ABOUT WHY WITH AMAZING EXPLANATIONS + SAYS A THOUSAND TIMES THAT IT ISNT THEIR FAULT, but C twisted it to make them the bad guy which tf he has the best moral compass of everyone ik stfu

jokes alot about substance abuse (which they do btw) but it just gets like “what am i supposed to say?”

ON THAT NOTE OF NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY they texted F that they tried killing themselves and F responded with an “oh” because tf are rhey supposed to say to that?? (F told me that they were literally crying when they saw that)

was a terrible friend to F, F noticed and cut off ties (good for them!! They have so much courage because i could legit never i love them for that 💪💪) and then they proceeded to send a lengthy apology which was all bs btw!

ive been told that they faked their trauma, substance abuse, and their eating disorders, but tbh im not sure if that’s true or not (considering ive seen texts theyve gotten from their mum about eating)

minor but they say theyre goth but dont even listen to the music which is the whole point! and also doesnt follow the political opinions of goth!

(did the same with punk, btw!)

not sure if true or if C said this to save their own ass but apparently D got C to shit talk me (i talked about in an earlier rant) which errr…

Secret Part C: small details

this section is in bullet points!

insulted F “jokingly” to the point they had huge gender dysphoria

thought F had a crush on their bf (at the time) when F’s literally a lesbian

not only a pathological liar but a inconsistent one!

okay this is kinda hypocritical but they follow sh blogs that show cvts

+ says the cuts are cute (which is something i dont do. i actually dont even follow them but from time to time i’ll scroll through and want to vomit /nav)

literally gave me a step by step tutorial on how to purge

not lying!

complained about their bf not kissing them in public (which is something you talk to your bf about not me! + boundaries fucking exist?)

very minor but alot of the stuff they like its mostly because it got popular on tt

will say shit like “ive only been catcalled like three times in this outfit!” which no ew + gave me a massive insecurity that im not pretty enough! choose your words wisely!

so to sum it all up theyre a terrible human being and im glad i dont talk to them anymore! thanks for reading this lengthy post!

[hirokiyuu]

thinking abt yuujins fam

current ages assume yuujin is 17 (ie the age at which they wound up in twst at the v start)

papa

i dont have a name for this guy yet

he/him, 50s i think

has some sort of job that keeps him away from the house 90% of the time. i dont THINK he works overseas but he either a) works in tokyo living in his own apt bc the cost of a shitty leopalace is less than the commute time to their place in kanagawa or b) might be like. a train driver? was the other one i was thinking of????? lmao. either way he's only at the actual family home like one weekend every few months. its always a big deal when hes home

loves his wife+kids but desperately overworked. would like to be home more often but doesnt have the money at any local jobs to stay near them. gaman attitude to life

only child i think

hikari (mama)

she/her, 50s as well but a little younger than papa

office worker. one of those horribly overworked kinds. probably works in yokohama and has to commute like two hours a day. gone by the time most of hte kids wake up, home late enough she doesnt see them either.

loves her kids a lot but overindulgent. spoils all of them but also relies a little too much on yuujin (guy who is like :) i like cooking and helping mama! as a kid. not realizing he is signing himself up for The Horrors) does understand its not normal but yuujin doesnt complain so she doesnt do anything and also kind of cant given that she is again, horrendously overworked

wanted a lot of kids her whole life. adores them all. wishes she could have more time to tkae care of them but as we all know, The Cost of Living In Japan

yuujin goes here. 17, he/him (eventually they/them), if u need me to say moer than you have not been following my blog

mitsuki

she/her, 15

first year of high school

Extremely self-centered. well aware her ability to get out of hte house w/o having to rely on their parents ever releis a Lot on her being self-sufficient and is trying to play into her own strengths. also just hates being home so she's out doing Overachiever Things a lot but also going to karaoke and making friends and spending as little time at home as possible

will stay up to get allowance from mom, who should not be giving it to her but does bc she loves all her kids a bit too much

mutsumi

she/her, 13

yuujin's best friend. lmao.

chubby otaku. got bullied a lot in grades 5/6, situation got somewhat better in middle school but still doesnt really have any friends besides yuujin

shy + meek, doesn't know how to talk to people. wants to help yuujin more around the house but having so little self confidence means she needs a Lot of handholding and ends up creating more work for him so hes usually just like. go sit down and then tell me abt w/e manga youre into rn

only one that knows yuujins gay, a secret she guards w/her life

ruito

he/him, 11

sixth grader. loooooves yuujin more than anyone in existence! this is Not a Good Thing

sporty, thoughtless, jealous. wants yuujins time but yuujin has no time to give, which manifests in him being mad that mutsumi is the clear favorite and trying to bother yuujin when yuujin is Doing Other Things.

the next ones are more tenuous. i was thinking of yuujin as eldest of seven which i think means One of these needs to be a set of twins but idk which one and what would be most fun. i have runa + the problem child more set in terms of personality but the last kid is like....... so ambiguous theyre just floating midair to me u kno

runa

she/her, 9 or 10?

fourth grader. loves idols and wants to be one

does Not have the money to be an idol fan but through the power of begging and having an overindulgent mama has a semi-decent collection of merch. this drives yuujin insane

less problem causing than some of the other sibs but still causing problems. u kno how it is

youngest child

he/him so far, 5?

first grader. Terrible

bitey. wants to Go. immense handful. cause of every single one of yuujins headaches. constantly trying to run out of the house into traffic, thinks its funny when yuujin has to chase after him. probably in trouble for behavioral problems at school All the Time

ambiguous other child

moody type?

identical twin. probalby will develop a complex abt this in several years time (if youngest's twin) or has already started to (if runa's)

a ltitle bit forgotten given how many strong personalities are ni the fam. will occasionally lock themself up in their room if neglected tho which Causes Probelms and yet givs them attention which thereby reinforces the behavior lol

anyways. thoughts. i have them

[beeboomachine]

For the 70 horrible questions; The Fibonacci Sequence numbers (1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55)

gee whiz

1, Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

like yes? in the sense they love and support me. its complicated

2, Who did you last say “I love you” to?

my partner, i always say i love you to them when im going to bed

3, Do you regret anything?

uhhhh yeah?? my biggest regret is not joining marching band in high school

5, What is your relationship status?

am partnered with the love of my life however we're open and poly so we both date other people; i just had a date this morning!

8, Played any sports?

I tried out for soccer but didnt make the cut v quickly in 6th grade. freshman year i was on the tennis team but i quit that quickly cause everyone on the team hated me lol. i havent played anything in recent years but since my backs healed up mostly id like to play tennis or volleyball or like throw around a football again

13, Do you hate anyone at the moment?

my sister i guess, shes growing into my stepmom and is v controlling

21, What are your plans for this weekend?

am working the whole weekend #retaillyfe but ill see my partner tomorrow night into saturday morning so thatll be good

34, Who/what was your last dream about?

whats funny is that i have dreams almost every time i sleep and theyre crazy vivid and weird and usually involve someone i know.... but i can’t actually remember what i dreamt about this morning, which rarely happens. last dream i can remember immediately was running through a horror house with my best friends boyfriend to get back to a gta online race with my best friend and other best friend

55, Are you mean?

lol yeah, sometimes. like if youre being an asshole im gonna tell you, and if youre doing something shitty youre gonna hear it from me; am v blunt and don’t like to deal with bullshit. i also poke fun at people lightheartedly but my friend says its mean

[mysticvenus]

don’t you hate it when you know you have friends but you don’t feel like you do because you know they’re temporary and will leave you eventually and it could be because of you or you might just drift apart or move away or new opportunities will arise for them and you will be just stuck in the same place you’ve always been just waiting for someone but no one will ever come because you’re not memorable or special in any way. you’re just kinda there.

[mitchiegonewild]

aot: the mitchie cinematic universe

okay so im just gonna write down some of my aot headcanons in a modern setting bc like...im right. anyways:

eren and armin met on reddit

erens a reformed brony but it’s still a comfort show of his

armin defends furries (as he should)

he also got sasha and connie to go to furcon and at first he was nervous abt taking him because they thought that they would be mean about it but they ate that shit up, none of them are furries but they fuckin love them

connie gets wasted and eats baby food

jean got his license first and never stfu abt it

marco unironically prefers the cafeteria food to home cooked food

levi went to jail for a really long time when he was like 17. nobody except erwin knows why. whenever anyone asks erwin he just goes “you shouldn’t have asked that.” and stares at you until you change the topic

additionally, levi’s mugshot is single-handedly both the hottest and scariest thing ever

moblit is saving himself for marriage and volunteers to teach sex ed to hanges class 

hange has not yet realized that moblit would stop waiting for marriage if they approached him in that way

eren is an AVID redditor. i’m talking 4 out of the 6 hours of his phones screen time is the reddit app. he used to be obsessed with 4chan too

historia runs a pretty popular fashion instagram account

some random guy (possibly reiner while he was in his closeted era) left the funniest hate comments when historia posted a picture of her and ymir together for valentines day. ex: “WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER” “MY HEARRRRTTTTT. I LOVED HERRR”

bertholdt spam reported his account so he would stop bc the second hand embarrassment...my god...

jean loves drake and it’s everyone’s problem

the way mikasa figured out that she was bisexual was by kissing eren and annie, and then saying, “so it’s definitely not a problem with either gender, i think it’s just you guys” and that’s how two hearts were broken that day

annie and armin were each others beards but armin actually started to love annie and so she had to hit him with the “im glad you know youre pan, but im still a big fat lesbo. love u”

they broke up and then annie met hitch on a cruise, now theyre cute long distance gfs which is better for annie bc she doesnt like people hanging off of her

connie thinks he can breakdance. key word is “thinks”

sasha eats bits of everyone’s lunch

sasha also films tiktoks in the middle of class. her “we not hump1ng” dance with jean went viral and so that's how 900k people have seen jean miming sucking a shlong in the middle of honors calculus

armin is surprisingly good at dancing, he’s most definitely a quirked up white boy

mikasa has a candle collection

hitch runs the school confessional account

eren started to 'come out' as bisexual because jean found him on the r/lgbtq subreddit asking if they thought his feelings about a specific guy friend was bordering on romantic. jean ss’ed it and sent it to him, eren called him, and then jean became a god of a wingman

marco is catholic but like is super chill about it

ymir pulls over to take pictures of vultures for historia

historia and jean got high as motherfucking kites one night because they ate out of the wrong brownie pan at a party and the whole time they were just staring into each others eyes like “i love you. why dont we hang out more. you are so cool. we are divine love from the universe. we should be best best best friends.” they karaoke'd piano man together that night

ERWIN WAS A DRAG QUEEN IN HIS COLLEGE YEARS!!!!!

erwin and levi met when erwin visited prison for a psych thesis he had and they just hit it off. literally. levi thought erwin tried to insult him and then he tried to punch him (erwin was trying to ask him on a date to the commissary🤞)

mikasa and annie are autistic besties

connie is an ipad baby turned teenager

zeke is in a shitty garage band and pulled the “hope you guys like weezer” conversation, verbatim, with eren when eren was in sixth grade and he was an angsty sophomore

that was probably erens downfall tbh

one time there was a lice outbreak in their little group and armin and historia (bc theyre definitely siblings and their parents are erwin and levi) brought it home to levi. he rented a hazmat suit

also, everyone got it, INCLUDING LEVI, except for hangë because their hair is so dirty. levi switched to tea tree shampoo that day

hangë is the leader of the schools gsa

moblit used to be a church camp counselor before he realized he was queer and also an agnostic

eren and armin started dating because while they were smoking together, high off his ass, eren let it slip that he does...questionable things to Imaginary Armin during his alone time and wanted to make sure it was okay with him. armin, also high off his ass, replied that yes, it was, because he ALSO does that

historia has a crusty little white dog named bella thats her pride and joy and it fucking hates eren

reiner cries to tears for fears. slay

reiner also has an addiction to saying “you just got slayed”

bertholdt cries almost every time he gets #krissed

ymir knows this and purposefully sends him #kirssed videos

for one last #krissed hc, reiner was sobbing over his mental health issues at 2 am and decided to record a tiktok with the Space Song audio but then it turned to him being #krissed so he just started screaming (tiktok: )

[mostlymaudlin]

I don't remember the numbers lmao. Teacher AU + Interrupted Declaration of Love. Maybe also Locked in a room 👀

YESSS THESE ARE SO GOOD. i accidentally went off so I’ll put a cut in lol.

okay so. they work at a middle school, so you already know it’s gonna be trouble. baz teaches the language arts intervention classes, meaning he works with kids who need extra reading & writing support. simon is the school social worker. they’ve been working together all year because let’s be honest a lot of their students overlap! and there’s like a weird undertone between them that they can never address because they’re always surrounded by kids and idk just take it from me it’s hard to flirt around middle schoolers they see everything and they’re merciless. and neither of them rly partake in staff bonding events bc that shits lame.

now theyre both working summer school — so take all the chaos already here and multiply it by 10. the thing about summer school is that it’s four weeks of hell and the trauma bonding amongst staff is intense. after the first week, the administrator takes everyone out for drinks after work. simon and baz stay out after everyone leaves because they’re having so much fun and it gets flirtier and flirtier until… simon invites baz to go home with him! and they fuck but they kind of decide it’s not a good time for them to start dating (even tho they’ve both got crushes). so now they’re doing this weird friends w benefits thing “to ease the stress” as summer school goes on.

cue the last day of summer school, after the kids go home. everyone is cleaning up camp and putting stuff away and simon and baz end up getting asked to go put something in the basement, which is really spooky and kind of gross. neither of them realized the door locks automatically so they get stuck in the basement (obviously). and now they’re alone and there’s like 45 minutes until they’re not in summer school anymore and what does that mean for them? and they’re being so awkward and self-sabotaging and baz just looks rly pretty and kind of sad in the shitty pale yellow basement light, and simons internally like, FUCK IT, we are basically dating right now and it would be worse to work with him this fall and wonder than it would be to work with an ex in the future (but honestly, he can’t imagine why he would ever break up with baz) and he crowds up into bazs space and he’s gonna TELL HIM HOW HE FEELS AND THEN… someone comes looking for them and opens the door.

and then they’re around people finishing up the work day. and then they’re in the parking lot and then they’re both saying their too tired to do a last round of drinks with the rest of the staff. and then simons watching baz drive out of the parking lot in his stupid pretty vintage mustang. simon just sits there in the parking lot ruminating. five minutes later, he still hasn’t left, and bazs car peels back into the parking lot. he parks so crooked and doesn’t turn the engine off and storms toward simons toyota corolla.

simon gets out of the car, confusesd. he’s like, “what’s wrong?” because baz looks fucking livid, but baz doesn’t answer — he pushes simon against the car and winds his fingers into his hair and kisses the shit out of him. simon pulls away after a few seconds, because he needs baz to know.

“it wasn’t just for fun,” he says, breath ragged. “it wasn’t just stress-relief. i don’t want us to be over.”

and baz leans his forehead against simons, eyes squeeze shut, and nods.

“it wasn’t that for me, either,” baz murmurs. “it was always more than that.”

the words send a shiver down simons spine. his hands are on bazs shoulders, but he moves them up to cup bazs cheeks, pulling his face forward to brush their mouths together.

“i want you to be my boyfriend,” simon breathes against bazs lips. he feels baz inhale sharply, feels his fingers tighten in simons hair.

baz kisses simon instead of answering, to which simon pushes him away and demands assurances. and ofc baz is like duh ive been yearning for so long please don’t make me talk abt it it’s embarrassing. and then they’re like omg this one kid who always tells them that she “ships” them is gonna be absolutely demonic if the kids figure out they’re dating in the fall. but like they’re in LOVE it’s worth it to be taunted by middle schoolers if they get to have each other 🥰

[pinlc-candy]

'wah i don't like it when togafuka pops up when you search togami or fukawa' then blacklist the tag? and it's still funny when nae/-gami shippers get on tofu's case for togami treating fukawa poorly when togami treats naegi awfully too. at least togami never intentionally put fukawa in harm's way (dr3 doesn't count bc he knew she was capable of sorting that out). when she has passed out during ch3? sakura even acknowledges that togami knew fukawa was safe as there had already been two deaths. then he's like 'oh she's alive :/' AFTER. or during the explosion in ch5, he says 'oh she probably turned to dust' when he'd know she didn't bc he saw the body fly. he's just a dick.

and him revealing her secret in ch2? did he do it harshly? yes. but like... 1. it's chapter 2. and 2. he kinda needed to reveal there was a serial killer. he did not know fukawa and syo didn't share memories, so for all he knew, syo knew he knew her identity and she could kill him to keep it secret and get away with it. no one would believe him. he saw an opportunity and took it. (EDIT: Togami knew about Syo before the secrets motive was revealed. He didn't reveal it as soon as he found out. It was after the motive and the 24 hours limit, which put pressure on everyone, was revealed that he set up telling everyone. Again, he didn't know they don't share memories, so now to him Syo knows she has 24 hours to kill someone to prevent her secret getting out and who better than the person who already knows her secret?) was he mean? yes. but this was a situation about killing and getting away with it and he was up against a serial killer who could best him. even if she did get found out after, he would still be dead. and if you're going to use chapter 2 against them, you can use so much against nae-/gami.

togami gets naegi to open a door when hagakure suggests it's rigged with a bomb. togami tells naegi to his face on more than one occasion to die and that he's worthless. naegi often comes away from their interactions feeling psychologically drained/abused/shattered or w/e and in school mode, after spending time together, naegi feels like he has to prove to togami his existence can have meaning. that becomes naegi's purpose. naegi says he feels like they'd never be true friends and they were worlds apart after spending all the free times together. Do they become friends? i think so! but take that all into account. And notice I did not even go into togami bossing naegi around or some of the other shitty behaviour. in my opinion, this ship wouldn't and couldn't ever sail and be in character and healthy.

i'm not saying togami is nice to fukawa or fukawa doesn't overstep boundaries bc. they do. they also go through good character development (fukawa goes from wanting to depend on togami to wanting him to be able to depend on her! she fantasises about him calling her strong! she learns friendship+romantic love are both important and strong. togami learns to depend on others and let others depend on him. when he learns to not make light of people's emotions, one of the first things he does is compliment fukawa on finding a knife. in ch3, it's implied those two got up to something together, bc togami acts very strangely when he comes into the cafeteria with syo and what syo says about wearing red lingerie that morning is... hm).

there's just. so much to togafuka and it's annoying when ppl are like 'tofu sukc bc theyre mean to each other it's gross' especially when they ship something like nae/-gami.

EDIT: togami and fukawa also have several parallels/constrasts (birthdays, designs, how they deal and dealt with childhood trauma) and togami's character was adjusted/changed specifically to be someone that fukawa would fall in love with. so... yeah. it's funny they made togami's character less relevant to naegi's so he could be fukawa's love interest.

[blxetsi]

Hi! Can I please request modern au hcs for Armin?

tysm for requesting !!

modern armin arlert dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!armin arlert x gn!reader

- okay so

- i think in a college setting you and armin hit it off really well

- i think you guys wouldve just accidentally kept bumping into each other, whether it be around campus, at some coffee shop, in the library

- it gets so frequent you dont even know if its a coincidence at this point, yet you cant help but hope that you seem him whenever you go out

- after ALWAYS bumping into each other and apologizing before making small talk, armin makes the first move

- mf just says "are you following me ?" to which you reply "are YOU following me ?"

- that night ends in you two exchanging numbers 🤩

- you find out that hes a humanities major, and wants to be a psychologist some day

- you also find out he has a paid internship at a research facility near the university you attend

- hes super sweet but also super humble, so he tries not to keep the subject on himself for very long, just wanting to know more about you

- as you two get closer he gets more touchy (not in a weird way)

- he starts greeting you with hugs now, and likes to have a light grip on your wrist when hes leading you through crowded hallways of the school

- he introduced you to his bestfriends and roommates, mikasa and eren, and they were really accepting !! (they already could tell armin liked you even if he didnt know himself)

- you start developing feelings for him about two months after you exchanged numbers, and you honestly felt really weird

- because this beautiful boy whos so sweet and kind and intelligent is like,, wayyyy out of your league

- armin thinks the exact same thing

- he thinks youre so cool and fun to be around, you always have the best stories to tell and are so welcoming,, its HARD not to fall for someone like you !!

- finally he gets up the courage to ask if you can come to his apartment

- and there he confesses 😳💥‼️

- you sit there shocked for a couple seconds too long because now hes freaking out like "im so sorry i didnt wanna seem creepy i just wanted to tell you how i felt you can leave or i can walk you home- wait you probably wouldnt want that but-"

- you just kind of grab his shoulders and start shaking him. before you tell him you like him too.

- the apples of his cheeks turn pink before he smiles and gives you such a tight hug !!

- hes immediately planning a date with you for when youre both free

- takes you to the local aquarium 🤩 and kisses you in front of the moon jellies (u know those big tanks with the jellyfish that are like glow in the dark ?? and the whole hallway is pitch black except for the lights from the tank ?? yeah ❤️ he kissed you THERE and it was beautiful)

- has chapped lips 😐 sorry i dont make the rules

- has a habit of picking them when hes working or lost in thought

- doesnt mean you stop kissing him tho

- is the kind of guy that will genuinely get worried if you send an "sos" type message. gets out of his own class just to speedwalk (he isnt gonna break the rules and run in the halls 🙄) and come to your class just to see if youre okay

- looks at you like ��� when you explain you just need him to get you an iced coffee from that shitty coffee place in the cafeteria

- does it anyway even though hes annoyed 😌✨

- will grumble about paying him back for the five dollars he just spent on you while you kiss him over and over again in thanks

- doesnt let you pay him back though smh 🙄

- loves to give back hugs

- will do it while youre working, or while youre doing the dishes

- if youre shorter than him he'll rest his head on your and just smell your hair

- if youre taller than him hes shoving his face inbetween your shoulder blades

- is such a lightweight drunk its not even funny

- none of his friends are tbh 🙄

- the first time you saw him drunk was when eren dragged you guys out to a party their friend was hosting (literally interrupted your cuddle time in armins bed to THROW OFF THE BLANKETS and say "you guys are coming with me 😁👍" and when you two said no he TURNED ON THE LIGHTS and ruined the vibe 😐 fucking asshole)

- anyways you two had to change back into your clothes at 9pm just to go to a shitty party that was gonna get busted by the cops anyways 😔💔

- you couldnt find him through the sea of people, and u got really worried until armin called you

- it was not armin on the other line 😁👍

- he said his name was reiner ?? and he said he was with armin bc he puked while playing beer pong

- the guy tells you where they are and you go to find them. theyre sitting on this couch in a backroom and theres only like,, five people in total there ??

- armin is SOBBING while reiner is trying to get him to drink water

- "reiner you dont get it,,, theyre so beautiful. i cant compete. i dont even think theyd wanna be with me. and you have to see them talk about their major. theyre so smart you dont understand." "okay buddy lets just finish this water okay ?"

- armin is leaning his shoulder on this GIANT of a man just going on about how much he loves you and how amazing he finds you. until you tap his shoulder. and then he realizes youve been listening this entire time. and then he starts crying because he doesnt want you to find him weird. and then you have to explain to him that you two are dating. where he doesnt believe you still.

- eren ends up giving you the keys to his car and saying "ill just call you when i need a ride back" and reiner CARRIES armin to the car 😭😭😭

- hes a real gentleman 😁👍

- that morning armin remembers EVERYTHING and is MORTIFIED

- calls reiner immediately like "did people see me puke ? oh god am i gonna be talked about ?"

- has very vivid dreams and remembers all of them ?? will literally tell you about a dream he had when he was five and WILL NOT forget a detail. its weird

- his family actually doesnt seem like they like you 😳 not because they dont theyre just very,, quiet people...... except for his grandfather

- doesnt even care who you are to armin, will pull you down on the couch with him to tell you about all his research and findings as an archeologist (before he retired)

- if youre ever feeling sad about anything, whether that be stress, family problems, or body image issues, armins taking you to his place 😁👍

- he'll cuddle you and whisper how much he loves you while you two are watching something on his laptop

- has acne scars on his shoulders. dont make fun of him for it pls

- loves getting back scratches though, the tingles make him feel really calm

- if you have like,, makeup brushes and stuff he likes it when you brush his face with them, no product or anything but the tingles he gets from it 🤤

- over time his parents warm up to you quiet a bit, and when his mom shows you baby photos and from him as a kid youre SHOCKED.

- he had this little bob cut from when he was ten to his teens 🥺🥺🥺🥺

- when you two are walking back home or wherever you cant help but go on about how cute he was and how healthy and pretty his hair looked (not that its not healthy or pretty now) and he just giggles before pulling you into his side and kissing your cheek while saying "okay baby, ill grow it out just for you then"

- also loves the petnames baby, angel, and love

- will gladly let you steal his sweaters. has a really nice knit one that his grandma made him before she died. that ones off limits.

- doesnt like to fight, but when he feels like hes in the right he wont hesitate to yell back when youre yelling at him

- just dont yell at him pls, it makes him sad

- it takes him a while (and by a while i mean like 30 minutes at most) before his texting you asking if you guys can talk about it

- its really easy for you two to make up, and immediately hes hugging you and just asking if you wanna do something with him

- also, cuts his own hair ?? and would cut yours if you asked. mikasa vouches for him "yeah he trims my hair all the time. why ?"

- every year on your anniversary hes taking you to the aquarium. and he always kisses you as softly as he did the very first time, in the dark hallway of the moon jellyfish tank ✨

a/n

THATS ITTT !!! thanks again for requesting !! i hope you all enjoyed. remember asks are open !! u dont have to request headcanons either !!! go crazy friends !!

[artificialqueens]

A Series Of Mutual Feelings, 1/3 (Scarjah) - Pazinae

chapter 1: i hate u (and the feelings mutual)

Chapter Summary: Ra'jah is determined to have a fresh start and be a better person, now enrolled as a first year fashion school student- but Scarlet has a way of always making her newfound plans falter. With a rocky high school history, the (not so) fortuitous pair endure some mutual hatred

A/N: enemies 2 luvers scarjah everyone xoxo meant to be a oneshot, but got a little carried away n my doc for this is currently 19 pages long ahaha so to be more palatable it will be a 4 chapter story (its says 3, but you'll see). this one is mainly the intro for the story to understand where they're at emotionally in the present, and is mostly ra'jah centric on her growth + kylie friendship fluff bc theyre the cutest, and a bit of scarlet pov. feedback super super welcome, enjoy !!! 

***

Scarlet strode down the hall with a sway in her hips, her heels clacking on the laminate floor. What kind of tacky ass bitch wears heels to school anyways? Ra'jah scoffed internally, watched the girl saunter like she's on a tightrope, each tantalizing step brought her foot exactly in front of the other. Her body fell into a rhythm, stomping the fucking campus like a lion stalking the jungle for the sheer fun of watching it’s prey scamper. Scarlet's bouncing skirt, her signature grin and luscious ginger curls sprouting out her scalp made her gag. And not in the stunning way. Just as quickly as she came she was gone, and, to be fair, she was just another girl sandwiched in the masses just getting to where she’s going. But she could pluck that arrogant little redhead bitch out of any crowd. Not a conscious choice of course, hell, being reminded of her sheer presence causes a battle of trying not to roll her eyes behind her skull. She can't help that she sees her. Not when Scarlet's lips are painted the same shade of bold crimson as the tight, sleeveless top she's wearing, like a fresh drop of blood in a sea of grey clad bodies swimming around in their hoodies.

This isn't high school anymore Ra'jah. A repetitive reminder that needs to be said evermore until it's understood at her core. Because It's different now, she knows that- it has to be. No fucking way are her dreams going to get caught up in everything again, they're too big to be put at stake. She can't live just to be like that again, and this time she's too grown to waste her time on useless people. High school was a bubble, a 4 year trance that she's left and is more than ready to forget about. 

"Hey, Ra'jah!" That southern, velvety voice could only belong to one stunning woman. She turned around to spot her speed walking to catch up. 

"Aye! Kylie!" Ra'jah stopped and gave a little wave as Kylie approached, her highlight shining even in the shitty indoor light. The two moved over to the side of the hall, and leaned against the wall. "If it isn't Miss Kylie Sonique Love," With such a pleasing name, Ra'jah doesn't think she will, or, really can ever get tired of saying the other girl's name. "What's up?"

"Nothin', just tired as fuck," It's kinda cute, the way her accent gets stronger when she's grumpy. "I'mma pass out at some point, I did not get enough sleep." Even as a grumble her voice is so soft and angelic, Ra'jah could probably fall asleep to the blonde reading true crime murder stories. 

"Goddamn, it sure as hell doesn't show!" Which is true, Kylie was as effervescent as always, any visible messy hair from under her beanie looked intentional. Even in her oversized t-shirt and shorts, there was an undeniable, captivating charm about her that made it impossible for her to look bad "You look gorgeous girl" 

"Awh, thanks honey," She smiles a soft, hazy smile. "You don't look too bad yourself." She hums, eyeing her up with a grin. Before she could even argue a response, the country girl quickly perks up and slaps her hand on Ra'jah's shoulder in excitement. "Oh also! I want your opinion- I'm thinking about dying my hair pink." She can see the visible sparkle in the pair of eyes looking at hers. "Thoughts?" She asks, voice becoming giddy "Oooh bitch! You better, that'd be so fierce!" The (mostly) purple haired girl exclaimed, delight evident in her voice "For real, you'd look so good. And you know, ba-BY" she claps her hands together just for added emphasis, "I support ALL the impulsive hair decisions".

"Yess, obviously I want input only from bad bitches with the best hair"

"I told you I did these myself right?" she asked, running her shoulder length hair through her twirling fingers. "I've been really into doing hair recently"

"Wait, really? It looks so pretty, the fade to purple is so good"

"What'd you mean 'wait really' hoe, what you implying 'bout my hair skills?" 

"Just that a talented woman like you should share your expertise!" Even when she was loud her voice was just as comforting, the tone reminiscent of a silk blanket on her skin

"All it took for me was bleach, a bottle of violet Arctic Fox dye, and the holy spirit of Brad Mondo"

"First of all I'm not trusting no mans named Brad," Ra'jah cackled a little because, yeah that's fair. "And secondly, if you're free, come an' help a girl out then!

"You're inviting me over? Wow we're moving kinda fast Kylie" 

"Oh shut up bitch" but the undying twinkle in her eye confirmed the unsaid agreement that Ra'jah would be doing Kylie's hair, at some point.

"I'm free on Thursday, can I visit then?"

"Yea that works" She smiled, and the closeness between the two wasn't something the taller girl ever planned, or really felt before. But she had it now, a friend she really cares about, and she never wanted to lose it.

"Shit what time is it?" Even in her Shitty Human era she was still a timely gal, her mother didn't raise no late hoe. "Don't stress it Raj, we have like 15 minutes. Introduction to drafting and sewing, right?"

"Yes ma'am. Wanna start going?" "Sure thing" This year is for a new start, making new friends, and getting a chance to create new first impressions. Rebrand herself y'know, and the hindrance that is Scarlet's existence, wrapped in all the ancient things she'd rather not think about, won't stop her.

The walk to class was a pleasant blur. With Kylie yawning and walking essentially shoulder to shoulder with Ra'jah had they been the same height, they slipped into both  comfortable conversation, and silence. With all the noise around them, their presence brought an ease without any awkwardness. 

 A trek opted through the outdoor route that was albeit a tad longer, provided some well needed greenery and fresh air.

"You excited for class?" Ra'jah asked, only half aware of where she was walking to. Her body was on autopilot, and Kylie knows the way, probably.  

"You're amazing if you can get excited by class"

"It's fun!"

"Only 'cause you're good at it"

"You're good at it"

"You know what I mean. Isn't this one your favorite?" 

"It's not my favorite" 

"Uh huh"

"I just like it a lot. Maybee essentially jus' cause I don't hafta try" It was a mandatory course, but Ra'jah's not complaining. Perhaps it's a little vain to enjoy something just to remind everyone you can do it, but it was an easy break from the rest of the courses. And a nice little egoboost.

"So I'm right!" 

"C'mon it's October and we're still on basic techniques"

"It's called introductory," She remarked. "Do you even pay attention half the time?"

"No but bitch neither do you"

"True" Kylie grinned in agreement.

"The way you're coming for me but it's easy for you too!" She hasn't been sewing as long as Ra'jah, but she has great taste so it really balanced out. "And let it be known that I use that class time to think about incredibly productive things"

"Oh that's her name?"

"What?" She didn't mean for her tone to drop. Didn't mean for her legs to stop walking, planting themselves into the cement. Didn't mean for the smile on her face to plummet at the implication. Her visceral reaction was louder than the cluelessness she gave off.  

"Calm down" She giggled, as if Ra'jah's reaction woke her up from her grogginess, her breathlessness equivalent to a shot of espresso for Kylie. "You just seem really occupied sometimes is what I meant"

"Me? No I'm not" She couldn't convince herself.

"Okay babe. The models of your fashion sketches just look a little reminiscent"  

"You know Scarlet isn't the only person with ginger hair right?" Ra'jah bites back, the condescending tone not her intention, but not exactly unwanted in the moment. Scarlet is insufferable, she doesn't want her own name slandered is all, being associated with the arrogant shit.

"Baby, I ain't mention Scarlet. That's all you.'' She had a shit eating smirk and maybe Ra'jah takes everything back about how nice friends are. IF there was inspiration, Scarlet is objectively nice looking so it's not a big deal there might be similarities if you squint.  

"She was implied" 

"If you want her to be"

They get inside and take a seat at one of the large tables, divided into stations with a sewing machine and some material at each one. Ra'jah takes a spot at the edge, with Kylie seated to her right. 

 On paper, it's all been planned out for Ra'jah; during her strolls between classes she'll take in all her surroundings and actively look for inspiration, pondering all the natural shapes and patterns of the world in a way she can manipulate into clothing. On paper, she'll make the most out of the introductory class, sketching designs between the minimal notes and sewing practices. On paper, she'll finish the mornings class with ease and have extra time to practice some new things. 

In reality? Paper is flimsy, especially when its accountability is held by a fleeting mind. It's hard to bask in the world when unwanted questions plague her head. Mostly revolving around a certain redhead. God, fuck her. Fuck her pretty eyes and fuck her sculpted face and fuck her euphonious voice. Does everyone who sees Ra'jah see her patheticness? How she allowed some cunt to infiltrate her mind, set up home in her head and take up all the space? Let her infect every cell in the brain like a parasite until her skull is nothing but an infiltrated shell for an infestation caught up with infatuation?

"Ra'jah, you good?"  The girl sat across from her, Trinity, piped up, and Ra'jah had to bite back a smile. The icy, timid girl she met just a few weeks ago was starting the conversation.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"You just looked a little spaced out" 

"Nah, it's just that this class is a breeze an' I'm just thinking about a project for another class" 

"Mmm"

"Plus it's hard to just think of designs when there's no inspiration"

"I mean, we're supposed to practice gathering and making ruffles right now"

"Oh shit! We are?"

"Yeah girl!" Ra'jah, shaking her head at herself, finally picked up some of the fabric around her and got to work. "You'll be alright?"

"Oh don't worry about me! I'm all good"

"Okayyy if you need anything just yell" Ra'jah replied with a hum and a nod. Watching the girl running the fabric under the machine, memories of the first time they'd talked flashed, days of the nearly silent girl feeling so distant.

  "I really like your earrings" The girl raised her head, looking left and right a little as if making sure it was directed at her. 

"Thanks." She mumbled, vaguely looking at Ra'jah's direction. 

"If you don't mind, where'd you get them?"

"Uh, I thrifted it."

"Oh, cool" Ra'jah smiled, before quickly adding "Thanks". The raven haired girl didn't reply. The start of the intriguing game of 'does she hate me, is she shy, or both?' 

   After all the awkward attempts made for the quiet girl to be comfortable and maybe make a friend, a sense of pride rang through her. She met Kylie and Trinity here a mere month ago, and yeah, maybe she could be nice. She could walk the fineline of warm socialization without being annoying. The new Ra'jah doesn't do unnecessary mean quips just for the sake of a little power rush. She can be authentically her while being polite. New Ra'jah makes friends- not enemies. 

"Oh by the way" Ra'jah snapped her head up at Trinity's voice 

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I know it's a little random but do you know what you're gonna be for Halloween?"

"Huh. Well, I haven't really thought about it" Ra'jah remarked, "I just don't care for Halloween and all that"

"Really? Girl, you're not gonna do anything, dress up, go out, nothing?"

"Baby all that work and money for some costume I'll wear once? No ma'am- and the fuck will I do, I barely have ideas for school!"

"Hey, you could wear anything and it's a costume. Wear a black dress, you're a cat"

"You think I'm that basic?"

"Yeah?"

 "Fuck you" She snorted, and Trinity had a goofy smile, looking at Ra'jah with a sense of familiar fondness. "And thanks, really, but I don't care for all that spooky shit anyways"

"Damn, alright!" Teeth out and all, she laughed. The blonde on the right leaned in a little, a pleasant opposition of Trinity's hesitation is Kylie's eagerness

"Jesus Ra'jah, what did Halloween do to you?" The southern girl butts in. "You could dress as the grinch of Halloween, steal children's candy" 

"You know what, yeah, I'll be a sluttified grinch"

"You're kinda built the same already" Trinity joins with a grin

"Hey!"

"Sluttified? Are you implying the grinch isn't sexy enough?" Ra'jah choked a little at that, found herself smiling with some dopey content, at what exactly she's not sure. 

"Do ya'll think being the grinch would count as like, being a furry?" Trinity asked, voice dripping in an odd amount of seriousness. 

"What? Baby no" Kylie jumped in. "Yes! absolutely, how would it NOT?" Trinity argues, and maybe it's the easiness of everything.  Of how nice it is to just fall into banter when you let people in. Bouncing off the two girls, she doesn't need to think of how to be funny, how to one up herself, remind everyone of why she's worthy. She can just, be. And that warrants a smile. 

With Ra'jah's elbow propped on the table, she rested her cheek against her palm to face forward, before turning a little to face Trinity

"But why do ya ask Trin? About Halloween"

"Oh, kinda last minute but I just want some ideas to figure mine out" She shrugs, and Kylie leans over once more. It's a little heartwarming, how physically close she always instinctively wants to be. 

"Oh! Are you going to the Halloween party this weekend?"

"Nah parties aren't really my thing"

"Awh, but it'll be fun!"

"Yeah standing in a mass of people I won't talk to will be so fun"

"Fine- Ra'jah, are you goin'?" Rajah turns her head to follow the voices like a cat keeping up with a beam of light. 

"Uh..."

"RIGHT, forgot, Halloween's not your thing". A party where she can have a disguise, let loose and have fun. It feels almost embarrassing to admit to her newfound friends that she's never been to a party, and the thought of a Halloween party didn't even cross her mind. Maybe Halloween isn't not her thing, it's just not something she'd indulge in. For reasons. Like, schoolwork. 

"Welllllll…" Ra'jah hummed, dragging on with a small grin

"OH the prospect of partying changes things huh?" 

"You know, me an' Halloween, we complicated okay!" They laugh, but Ra'jah's left thinking. New or old Ra'jah both, spends a little too much time in the internal realm of the brain. 

The class falls silent except the murmurs of the buzzing machines, and the three chatter in whispers. Although usually it's mostly her and Kylie with occasional injections of confirmation from Trinity

"You're insane if you think spaghettini is better than fettuccine" Kylie protested "Spaghettini is literally the objective worst"

"Says who?!" Ra'jah paused sewing to look up at Kylie in defiance

"Me!"

"Trinity which is better" 

"Huh? Ya'll It's too early for this." Trinity complained.

"Oh, says the bitch who asked if the grinch was a furry" Ra'jah retorted, but Trinity brushed her off to look at Kylie "Oh wait! Also, Kylie, what're you gonna be for Halloween?" She gave a little snicker before answering 

"Don't come for me but honestly? Was thinking about being a cat" 

"AAAAAH!" Ra'jah and Trinity erupted laughing.

"But like, a hot one okay!" Ra'jah quickly tried to redeem herself.

"You'll be the hottest ass cat around" Plus, worse comes to worst, Ra'jah will be a witch or something, and they can be hot and basic together. 

When the class ended, they packed their things, and exchanged their goodbyes

"I'll see y'all around!"

"See you! Good luck on your textile project Trin" 

"Thanks!" She waved, yelling a final "Bye!" 

"Bye!" The three part, and Ra'jah makes her way to her second class. History of costume and design was next, and quickly weighing it out, she decided to take a quicker path through the halls. Suddenly, the weight of a body knocked at her side, the two stumbling around for a few seconds. A gust of papers had fallen from both parties' arms, and landed on the floor.

"Oh shit! I'm so-" Scarlet cuts herself off when she looks up at whom she's bumped into.

"Maybe watch where you're going" Ra'jah snorts out of sheer instinct, squatting down to gather her papers where Scarlet follows suit, just a little too close. The vague, sweet scent of strawberries she gives off is suffocating.

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" The attention sends a masochistic jolt down her spine

"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" As much as she screamed internally to just shut the fuck up and get your things, it was so easy to slip back to this.

"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try"

"Baby, me? Fail out?" Please don't imply that. Please don't make me doubt that I can and deserve to be here. I don't want to seek approval from others, but I can't help but be hurt at disapproval. Of course, her thoughts don't verbalize as the words that come out of her mouth. "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying" Before she can think it through, process the flash of hurt on her face and the way her fingers tense around the last piece of paper, before Ra'jah can really understand the weight of her own words she continues. "But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?"

Their exchanges were in aggressive whispers, hushed to anyone above them. To most people, they'd find a sight of two girls muttering to one another while they pick up some things they've dropped.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" Scarlet huffed, standing up in one swift motion. Those words aren't a compliment. Like, at all. So why does Ra'jah's dumb, twisted heart stop for a second? The implied connection of herself and 'pretty' slows her body and slurs her mind until she's pushing herself up off the ground in slow motion. It's been so many months of mundanity, the small interaction felt all so familiar and foreign and exciting at the same time.But the haziness of her words and their little games makes her forget for a second of what the fuck just happened, and a wave of patheticness washed over her as she started to walk, eyes focused at the cream walls. For all her hemming and hawing, Ra'jah hasn't. Fucking. Changed. 

A rush of everything dives into her guts, a sick adrenaline coated in dread, self loathing and the slight urge to cry, nestling in her stomach like a bird claiming a branch as it's home. Her skin was electric, and she hated to admit she loved it, the thrill of interacting with her, cattiness and all. Imagine feeling this much from fucking bumping into someone? Fingers clenched, nails digging in her own palms at how much she hates her. Intense emotions are a high of their own, and Ra'jah can't help but indulge. The piercing sting of her flesh being pressed in with her nails is intensified as she listens for the faint voice of that lanky girl always accompanying Scarlet. 

"You good Scarlet?"

"Yeah, thanks" She can't look back, but she can't help but wonder- are they hugging? Holding hands? It doesn't- it shouldn't matter to her. The fun amusement pales in comparison to the misery settling in. The realization that she's fighting with Scarlet like they're 16 at the back of English class.

Of all the schools, why'd that girl have to come here? Of all the things to pursue, why the same as herself? Of all the people, why'd it have to be her? Ra'jah didn't have the audacity to explore the last question. What she means, she's not too sure. The only thing in the world she's sure of is that she can't be both New Ra'jah™ and Old Ra'jah™ to different people. The line between the two existences isn't so bold anymore, and painting over the bumps isn't as effective as she'd hoped. 

  ***

  Truth be told, watching herself move around in skirts was one of her favorite things- just about tied with watching others watch her. Maybe that's why she joined cheer in highschool. Especially with the support from (or, lack of thereof) a certain grimacing purple haired girl, a runaway model from a fashion show who wound up wandering this school. She never needed to turn and look, didn't need sight to know there's a burn at her back, nor who it's radiating from. Scarlet always walked with just a bit of a straighter back, just a bit more purpose, and just a bit more stride in her step when her favorite pair of wandering eyes were around. A small part of her always wants to turn around, catch her gaze and watch her frantically look away and pretend she's talking to someone. Or maybe she'll hold it, stare back with just as much intensity. But her wistful attention is enough of an ego boost. The scowl ridden bitch, smile washed away just for her, and yet that's where her attention lied. It made her bite back a smile. 

Scarlet is a pretty thing, and she didn't need constant confirmation to remind her that she's beautiful. She's hot, she knows it, Ra'jah knows it, and Scarlet knows that's all she is to her. A pretty thing. Whatever. She's not important. 

In fear of her brain melting, and/or being fried to a crisp, Scarlet doesn't bother having two classes back to back. Her mental capacity is full, and a nice salad will probably help with that. She's on her way to meet with Yvie for lunch, thinking about their weekend plans, when she takes a misstep and stumbles, all her weight focused in her shoulder which slams against someone else's side.

"Oh shit! I'm so-" the universe is an asshole. May the odds never be in my favor. 

"Maybe watch where you're going" Her sneer is venomous, and the universe has suddenly become just the second biggest asshole. 

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" Ra'jah didn't do anything, a rational voice lectures, but she ignores it the way she's ignoring the taller girls face. Scarlet's grabbing at her papers, avoiding eye contact because that selfish pile of shit on her right takes up enough space as is, and if she looks into her eyes, sees that stupid fucking face this close she might do something bad. Like, in the sense of, punching her. Yeah, she can't look at her or she'll beat her up. Because that's a fight she'd win.  

"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" Ra'jah snides, and she needs to drop out before Scarlet gets grey hair from her. 

"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try" Her words are about as empty as her own stomach, because she hasn't eaten since last night, and Ra'jah will quit fashion school and become a science engineer before she fails out. 

"Baby, me? Fail out?" Yeah, with the flawless outfit you're wearing that you sure as hell made just because you were bored one night. Your pants could literally be sold as a luxury brand. The girl who started sewing when she a embryo in the womb, you'll fucking fail out.  "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying- But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?" Scarlet looks up, not at Ra'jah but away from the ground, and the urge to yell, hit her, and cry come up at the same time. She wants to scream, get everyone in hearing range to know that Ra'jah is a loser who will amount to nothing. She wants to reach out and choke her. But articulating her anger into words is too much, and she ends up just whispering whatever words are willing to come out as she gets up, not caring if she left any papers behind. 

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" And that's the closest thing to honest Scarlet's said all day. 

In the distance, she sees Yvie walking towards her, so she waits until the freshly dyed green haired girl is caught up beside her. 

"You good Scarlet?" 

"Yeah, thanks" The two walk together, side by side, and Scarlet loops her arm through Yvie's, linking the pair. 

"You know, Scarlie, you should stop wearing heels before you break your ankles"

"Hey!" She giggled, slapping the taller girl's arm in response. "I never fall, people just get in my way" Yvie scoffs, unable to stop the corners of her lips turning up and giving her away, forever endeared by the shorter girl. Scarlet's affection makes her forget that they've only known each other for a month. They reach a set of blue doors, and Yvie opens it, holding it for Scarlet to come through. Her face seems puzzled 

"Are you down to go to Mika's Cafe? I want to get some coffee" 

"Sure, they have nice breakfast sandwiches and omelettes, I'm down" It's only a few minutes away from campus 

"What's on your mind"

"Just like, school stuff. I have to make a dress for creative fashion design, and I'm just thinking about it, and what I wanna do" Would it be tmi to blurt that Ra'jah is insufferable? 

"Cool," Yvie hummed, and spiteful words cycled through Scarlet's head, deciding on what exactly to say, before Yvie beats her to it, whipping her head in some seeming urgency

 "OH by the way, I know you're busy with your project and you're determined on getting in the top 5 and all," 

"Uh huh" 

"Buuuuut, there's a Halloween party this weekend, and I was gonna go with Brooke and her friends but they're not going anymore," Scarlet knows how Yvie feels about Brooke, and to be fair she's only met her a few times in passing, but how someone like Yvie could fall for someone as uptight as the boring blonde is beyond her. She doesn't dare bring up another possibility of why her dorm mate would be avoiding the stoic girl, a possibility involving a particularly hot headed latina glued to the Canadians side. "They decided clubbing downtown would be more fun or whatever," They're outside on the pavement now, and the afternoon breeze graces their skin. It's a welcome environment, and Scarlet slows down her pace to enjoy the air, with Yvie quickly matching her pace. 

"Wouldn't you rather go clubbing though? Like not with Brooke and them but with others," Scarlet is friendly and all, but she swears Yvie is somehow friends with half the school. She sure as hell can find a group to go with.

"I guess, but I want to go to the party," she quiets a little as she continues, "There are some people I want to see there, for fun and stuff"

"Mmmm!" Scarlet widens her eyes, looking at the taller girl with a knowing glare, sprinkled with a teeny bit of judgement. 

"It's kinda lame to go there alone!" 

"No it's not!" 

"Scarls, yeah it is"

"Why do you even care? Wanna impress some girls?" In response, Yvie rolled her eyes so hard Scarlet could practically feel it. 

"'Cause you want me to go to a fun Halloween party by myself? 

"Yes! You could walk up to anyone and there's like an 80% chance you already know them, and a 100% chance you'll become friends anyways" The quirky girl's charm is undeniable, she'll be fine without Scarlet. Yvie gives a defeated sigh

"Seems kinda homophobic" 

"Ugh you know what's actually homophobic? The fact that more people aren't madly in love with me. I'm LITERALLY perfect" The prospect of love feels like it's been dangled infront of her, her whole life. Imagine looking like Scarlet, and never dated before?

"You're right girl, you are" Yvie laughed her deep, hearty cackle and Scarlet wanted to melt a little. 

"Thank you, finally someone with taste" Looking at her outfit, she remembers that the tall girl's taste is kind of debatable, and Scarlet almost wants to say she takes it back

"You think Ra'jah has good taste then?" 

"What?" 

"Also a party seems like the best way to meet more people y'know?" She brushes over her last question, and it's much better that way.

"You know what, whatever 'll go with you" Scarlet agrees so she'll shut up. If she hears her roommate bring up she-who-shall-not-be-named-because-shes-a-stick-in-the-ass anymore she might lose her mind. And, she really doesn't have any other plans for the night so might as well.

 ***

AN: going to be a while for the next chapter bc im busy so here's a lil thing lol xo

***

They weren't supposed to meet here. Weren't supposed to see each other. At least, that's what Scarlet tries to tell herself.

"You are such a fucking pain, oh my god" Scarlet seethed because everything is hazy except the impassive girl standing before her and she can't think straight. Her cold eyes are apathetic and Scarlet wants to implode, like a glass thermostat engulfed in a burning heat where it's not a question of if, but an inevitable when? "Maybe I am arrogant" Her voice was coated in a sickly sweet frustration. She pushed further into Ra'jah's space, the taller girl stiffening at the ever decreasing space between the two. How can she be so still, so unreactive? This is all so amusing to her? Is she having fun, so fucking detached from everything and watching Scarlet crumble? Pretending like she cares about Scarlet past her pretty face? Enjoying her sadistic game? Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her. 

"Maybe I am narcissistic" Their faces were inches apart, and Ra'jah could feel the angry womans hot breathe on her cheek, the pungent smell of alcohol intruding her nose.

"But I'd rather be a confident, arrogant narcissist than whatever kind of sad fuck you are" 

Scarlet growled, and she wanted to breathe fire, burn Ra'jah's existence out of her mind and scream at everything she felt because of her. Except that she sees her, and wants her, wants to hurt her and touch her and without thinking her hands are digging around Ra'jah's waist.

"You are such-" Scarlet was interrupted as the other girl leaned in, framed the shorter girl's face with both her hands, and pressed her lips against Scarlets. Any thoughts or mental functionality she had were put to an abrupt stop. This wasn't supposed to happen. It's been so long, but no time has passed since they were last like this. The plug to her brain was pulled, and it's all static and her bodys done a full 180. Ra'jah's piercing lips are numbing, and her overheated body feels like it's been dunked in ice where all her nerves are all in shock. They weren't supposed to do this anymore, it's the only thing they've ever been able to agree on. She was frozen, unable to move, or think, far too busy being hyper focused on the familiar sugary lips on hers, sending waves of nostalgia through her body. Time has only heighted the intoxication. She gains some composure and surges forward, but Ra'jah's pulling away, opening her mouth to finally say something.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet"

[normal-thoughts-official]

It literally angers me so much that not one person thought "isn't it a little off that a black teacher would threaten a latino student with the police?" like yes there are black people that would do that but is also has a lot of implications that pixelberry just,, decided to pretend weren't there ? Or even worse ? Pretend it was definitely the most "moral" choice like wtf

Apart, you didn't use any pronouns for me (which was really nice of you <3) but I thought it was easier to tell you, also ahahahshjs my friend has almost the same trouble as you like she is agender but uses any or all pronouns, except she's black and amab and they're very typically(?) handsome so when she used to say "any pronouns" people always went he/him and just being treated as a man, so to cisociety: she/they only to trans people any pronouns (which was funny because they I thought I was cis so I stopped using he/him as a good ally except they told me "that doesn't apply to you though??" me: "but I'm cis??" friend: "I will let you figure this out")

Also part 2 I LOVE PLAYING AS A MALE MC WHEN THE STORY IS AGGRESSIVELY HETEROSEXUAL FEMALE MC

I love it!!! Like I played open heart (don't judge) and the story is sooooo made to be a female mc akskjsjd

literally like u can tell there isnt a single writer of color in that team, there are so many pretty obvious racial implications that just. completely went over their heads. like oh my god. the way that both mr cooper AND principal flores are black/brown and BOTH threatened him with police over absolutely NOTHING like. kill <3

(dont get me started on flores lmao that bitch is the antithesis of a real school director i wanna die)

also im ur friend in that scenario rip udbdjd i can smell baby queers from a mile away and half of the time i assume ppl know theyre queer so i casually mention them being trans/bi/ace/etc and theyre like "what do you mean? im a cistraight heterosexual cisgender cis straight hetero" and im like ah. u think that huh

(shoutout to my friends reading this that were immediately assigned trans by me on sight and had a gender crisis and now are out <3 ily)

also, unfortunately, i have.... also played open heart.... twice. in my defense tho, u cant have a character be like "i am driven by community, all that matters to me is that, also im a huge self sacrificial idiot with no braincells, also i suck at flirting" AND be brazilian and expect me to NOT fall in love with him. books 2 and 3 are a scam and never happened as far as im concerned because the butchering of rafa's character is real but i love him and i would do anything for him

and honestly my flaming take is that open heart 1 is a decent book? itll never be good because any book that pushes mr sexual harrassment down ur throats cant possibly be good and ethan is THE shittiest LI of all time but it has a good plot and i like the obvious anticapitalist undertones and the discussion of how profit-driven mentality ruins healthcare. i also like how ur previous choices come back in the finale and u get to see ur patients again, its pretty nice. and every character feels like they have more or less of an arc that is left somewhat resolved (except for aurora who only gets to shine in the later books, which is a shame because i adored her from day one), so i think it's honestly a well written book. i also played with a male MC (dr bus down with cis my beloved. yes i named him that. ask me about my MCs names <3) and i liked it. i didnt feel like it was super hetero cuz honestly rafa and MC had pretty gay vibes, like the shitty flirting was so gay <3 and rafa in general, like.. community? self sacrifice? gay. sorry sir i diagnose u with homo. and also trans. because i can <3 (and also like. rafa has TITS like im sorry theres no getting around it, those are TIDDIES ma'am, not to mention that WAIST like lol. sorry pixelberry ur completely unrealistic male body means hes trans now <3)

so yeah i have. an embarrassing love for open heart. but anyone who follows me already knows i have bad taste, so

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

my worst fear is demetri and hawk getting together, but through an outing or cheating storyline. theyre very common tropes and i know yasmine is definitely gonna pose a problem to their relationship at some point.

I know right!!! Like I’m not a big Yasmine fan (still not really inclined to forgive her for all that shit she pulled in Season 1 just because she’s like...being slightly nicer to Demetri, and no one else?), but it kinda sucks to think about even HER getting mixed up and hurt in the mess of these two boys very much convinced they’re Big Straight finally coming to terms with their sexualities. Like I get realizing you’re gay or bi can be messy, ESPECIALLY at a high school like the kids go to where you can get picked on for literally ANYTHING, but no one deserves to be essentially used as a Beard, even if it’s unintentional. And having Demetri cheat on Yas with Eli would just be so...ugh, for so many reasons. Like for one, they’re already DONE the cheating thing with the whole Robby x Sam x Miguel x Tory thing...we don’t need ANOTHER cheating storyline just to create interesting romantic drama. And it’s not like gay cheating is all that different from straight cheating at its core, so it’s not like it would be that fresh or interesting of a take on the whole cheating plotline anyways.

Besides, the cheating plot often just...isn’t very fun to watch a lot of the time, because you’re just facepalming at all these characters just making very dumb and selfish decisions instead of like...communicating? Like I love these characters but it’s harder to root for them when I see them cheating on their SOs, since that’s just like...such a shitty thing to do, even if said SO isn’t my fave. I can kinda forgive the Samiguel cheating thing, considering they were both drunk and all and it was a bit of a spur of the moment deal, but consciously and repeatedly cheating on your girlfriend with your best guy friend just because you’re too scared to admit to yourself you’re gay??? Nah, fuck that. Like you don’t have to publicly announce you’re into guys or anything, but leave leading girls on out of it!!!! If you’d really rather secretly bang/kiss a guy, then dump your girlfriend and then continue to secretly bang/kiss said guy!!! It’s just...SO crappy to use someone as a cover-up like that, and it would make me lose a lot of sympathy for Demetri if he did. And it would FRUSTRATE me too, like??? If you want Eli so bad, break up with Yaz then??? Sure, it might lose him some of the popularity points he seems to enjoy, but that’s better than staying with someone you’ve lost the spark with just so you can go behind their back.

I’m honestly hoping if Yasmine is used in a Demetri/Eli plot, she’ll be there to kinda represent what Demetri THINKS he should want vs. what he ACTUALLY wants (i.e. Eli). Like Yasmine’s the ideal girlfriend, social status-wise--gorgeous, popular, sexy, doesn’t take shit from anyone since she’s at the top of the food chain (or at least seems to still think she is). In a way, she represents everything Demetri has ever wanted--acceptance, adoration, the respect of his peers, the power that comes from being near The Top, wherever “The Top” really is. So when he starts dating her, he just has to wonder why he feels so...unfulfilled? Why he’s not as happy as he always dreamed he would be when the day finally came that Yasmine looked his way? And he hates himself for it, but he finds half the time he spends time with her, listening to her talk about manicures and dresses and designer bags, he wishes he was with Eli instead, watching Doctor Who. It makes him wonder if being with a rich girl isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. And that little tingle he gets in his chest whenever the newly-mellowed-out Hawk/Eli starts excitedly rambling about “nerd shit” again, just like he used to...is that normal? Why does he find himself caring more about Eli’s opinions of him than his own girlfriend? It’s fucking weird.

After a while of finding himself more and more focused on Eli, and rapidly running out of things to actually TALK about with Yasmine, Demetri does like...the practical thing, and ends things with Yaz, realizing he liked the idea of her better than he actually liked her. Yaz is probably pretty fine with it, too, since I imagine at this point, she’s realized her and Dem don’t really have enough in common to keep a relationship going. Like Demetri is a smart guy--it might throw him off to realize he only liked Yasmine because of the idealized picture he painted himself of her, and the pedestal he put her on, but I think he’d come to terms with this sooner than people think and wouldn’t just like...be in such rampant denial about not actually liking Yasmine that much that he refuses to break up with her. Self-denial is Hawk’s thing, not Demetri’s XD Demetri has always more or less embraced who he is, geekiness and all, and hasn’t ever really felt the need to deny who he is. He often makes a point of saying exactly what he thinks and feels, no matter how unwise, so he’s pretty in-touch with himself. I feel like if he realized his relationship with Yaz wasn’t everything he’d hoped for, he might be a bit bummed, sure--it always sucks when something you’ve been striving for for a long time doesn’t meet your expectations, and turned out to be better in your mind. But ultimately, if Demetri realized he wasn’t that into Yaz, I feel like he would eventually just accept that as a part of himself and move forward with his life accordingly.

And literally ALL of this introspection can happen without him ONCE cheating on Yasmine with Eli, ffs

I think it would be nice if dating Yasmine is a way for Demetri to have to question what it is he really wants, and what he’s actually looking for in a partner. And, of course, question whether he ACTUALLY even likes girls...because why is being with this hot girl barely doing anything for him at all??? Why isn’t he constantly filled with excitement and unending horniness??? What is going on here??? But even then, like, there’s just...NO reason for him to cheat. I feel like realizing you’re gay provides enough angst and drama in of itself without having to have a gay love affair behind your girlfriend’s back. Throwing in cheating to the whole gay realization would almost make it like...comedically overdramatic, because it 100% reads as “Oh, look at this dramatic thing! What if we made it even MORE dramatic??? For...DRAMA???” Besides, I just really don’t want them to make Demetri into a cheater For The Drama. He’s a good, loyal kid who drinks Respect Women juice every day (I mean...Moon and Sam are two of his closest friends, ffs! And he’s never once been creepy with or tried to hit on either!), so him cheating is a no from me, dawg.

Like Cobra Kai, if y’all wanna use Yas/metri as a means of pushing us closer to eventual Hawkmetri, fine. But please do it SMART. Yasmine absolutely doesn’t need to get cheated on for Demetri to realize within that relationship that he’s not (or not JUST) into girls. Dare to be different, Cobra Kai!!! Say “no thank you” to the Gay Cheating cliche and “yes thank you” to Demetri realizing he’s gay (or bi) in a more interesting, nuanced way that doesn’t totally screw Yasmine over for no reason!