#i mean i dont know many words but in terms of reading/writing im getting there

[sukunasweetheart]

//just me venting about sukuna haters sorry

Not me seeing so much discourse about whether sukuna is a well written villain or not... he essentially has no backstory shown as of yet and we barely know anything about him but he is still one of the most naturally interesting and compelling characters in the whole damn series bro 💀 buckle up bc its about to get lengthy (im just glazing sukuna in this post ngl so 🧎‍♀️)

so many whiny ass mfs are weeping about how he "doesn't have any personal goals or a proper reason to be a villain" when that is the whole point???? He lives on his own desires and satisfactions and does whatever he wants to, because he is capable enough to do that. Mfs want "real villains" but cant even handle sukuna 💀 ive seen too many shit ass threads and poorly articulated "critiques" on his character that dont make any valid points. If you can't even separate your personal dislike of a character from your analysis of their writing, dont even bother posting that shit please 😭😭😭 the fact that we haven't even gotten any information about his background yet and people are jumping the gun about him being "poorly written" is already saying a lot 🤨

The fact that yall are so bitter and angry about him that you can write 500+ words about how oh-so-terrible of a villain he is kinda proves that he's doing his job well tbh 💁‍♀️

What also bothers me to no END is how people compare him with villains of other series, who had compelling sob stories that made people empathise with them. Thats nice and all but why should all villains have grand ideals and be subject to feelings of empathy/sympathy from their audience?

Part of what makes sukuna so interesting is how he's not tied down by morals, rules or long term goals in life. He doesn't limit himself, which is what makes him an unpredictable character. He's completely left behind what it means to be human in many ways, and he's clearly not a character written to be empathised with. He is very purposefully inhumane and distant from everyone else, and that feeling transcends from within the series to real life as well. There is a clear lack of understanding bc most of us can't comprehend what its like to just live without being goal-oriented.

Sukuna is a true anomaly in the sense that he doesnt really fit in any kind of box within the series. He's born from man, but its clear that he separates himself from humans (and nobody else considers him human, either). He's not a cursed spirit. He hovers between life and death. The narrator referred to him as the honoured one, whilst angel referred to him as the disgraced one.

These little contradictions in his character make him all the more complicated and interesting to think about. And even recently, he's been shown to waver a little bit momentarily in the manga, questioning his own irritation at yuuji. He's capable of self reflection, and though sukuna does whatever he wants for the most part, he doesn't blindly go into things without some thought first, he's a constant thinker and analyser, and an intelligent one at that.

And honestly, he is always such a joy to watch and read, his personality is so flavourful, and the way he carries himself is very attractive. He's not afraid to get messy or of getting hurt, theres so much chaos in the way he does things and yet he also has a huge element of gracefulness to him, which shines through the poetic way he speaks. Its undeniable that sukuna simply oozes charisma...

And this isnt talked about enough but this man is genuinely so effortlessly funny (in a kind of sinister way i guess?) Like yes he is an old ass man having real beef with one FIFTEEN YEAR OLD for very little reason, he accidentally healed yuujis arm and somehow expected him to be grateful for it despite how he literally ripped his heart out afterwards, then he proceeded to sit on him after kicking him down likeeee 😭 what kind of behaviour is this sir

His facial expressions at yorozus yapping 💀 THE WAY HE COMPARED YUUJIS FACE OF DESPAIR TO THE HARIMA STATUE 😭😭😭💀😭💀💀😭 omg that was so foul but i was fucking losing it ngl

How he randomly compared gojo to a fish and started talking abt his scales... thats a very unique and descriptive comparison, isnt it? Even in the recent leaks, he was 100% ready and squaring up to a literal child talking abt "youre starting to get annoying" LIKE HELPPP 😭 HE FR SAID "fuck them kids and fuck you too"

I saw someone saying that sukuna has no passion, like are we talking about the same character....? This man is a literal jujutsu NERD 💀💀 he truly recognises talented sorcerers and the only time hes seen to be having genuine fun is when hes fighting a mf... is that not passion? This is literally sukuna when it comes to jujutsu: 🤓

Anyway im done here now, im pretty sure i missed a lot of things i couldve talked about as well but ive done enough yapping

[angelfevr]

akane kurashiki is (not) allocishet: an analysis

[pt: akane kurashiki is (not) allocishet: an analysis. end pt].

okay so we’ve been meaning to write this for a while but havent bc we’ve been focusing on other projects. slight disclaimer if u dont agree w this hc thats fine, just dont be a dick just bc it interferes w ur own interpretation . we all have our own ways of reading the text so. Yeah!! lets get started

so i just wanna say akane is a character i resonate with in a lot of ways, and a lot of what im going to say comes from my and others’ experiences. ur identities and experiences r def gonna affect how u view a piece of work right? 

so when i played through the series in 2023, i initially viewed akane as everyone else did: she’s in love with junpei, and even hced her as bi like most of the fandom. but the more i studied the source material, the more i felt thats not rlly the case?? esp after ztd, like im sorry but i cannot buy the idea that both junpei or akane wanna marry each other. junpei is for another day but in terms of akane i wanna talk abt the idea that she may be aromantic. 

immersing myself in the fandom, a lot of ppl’s first impressions of akane’s june persona is that she was initially gonna be this ditzy girl next door who only serves as a love interest for junpei. ofc that ended up not being the case, but i see ppl say that they only rlly cared for akane after finding out she’s zero. which imo is such a missed opportunity for analysis.

as june, akane interacts with the world through tropes. the first thing she does when we’re introduced to her is fall on junpei. and overall is seen as this nervous girl who wouldn’t harm anyone. she flirts w junpei throughout the game, yadda yadda yadda. when it comes to her identity as zero, she desperately wants a perfect ending where she can be with junpei. its guesswork as to which aspects are true of akane, but i personally see these traits as smth she thinks “kanny” would do. 

[id: screenshot from 999’s script, black text on a white background that reads:

“Junpei: Well, I dunno. Anything. I mean, you're hiding it. How would I know?

June: You mean, like...the number of men I've dated?

Junpei's heart stumbled over itself.

June: Do you want to know?

He had to admit, he was a little curious.

June: Don't worry.

She smiled at him.

June: Only 18...

!?

June: ...Times 0.

June: Yeah... I guess I just haven't met Mr. Right yet…”

“Number of men” is highlighted in green. End id].

of course, bc of her tumultuous childhood and how she didn’t have many friends, she never rlly had experience w dating. but not much suggests she would beyond her own words.

[id: screenshot from 999’s script, black text on a white background that reads:

“Kanny: You...meant a lot to me...when we were kids...

Kanny: I've liked you...for a long time, Junpei... A really...long...time..”

“Liked” is highlighted in green. End id]. 

.

[id: screenshot from 999’s script, black text on a white background that reads:

“"Okay..."

My voice shook as I answered.

It was hot in the room. It felt like my heart was on fire.

6 minutes or not, my heart burned with my feelings for him.

…”

“burned” is highlighted in green. End id]. 

but actions speak louder than words, and she doesn’t go far beyond flirting and declarations of love. in ztd, she doesn’t even make these advances even when she’s trying to lighten the mood or make things right with junpei. the only time being when she speaks with carlos in the pantry. 

[id: a log of dialogue from zero time dilemma which reads: 

akane: if it was because of me somehow… then this time i need to rush to his aid. that’s what i’ve decided anyway.

carlos: you really like junpei, don’t you?

akane: wh-what in the world are you saying, carlos?! 

carlos: i’m out of my depth when it comes to romance.

end id].

[id: a log of dialogue from zero time dilemma which reads: 

carlos: did you bake heart-shaped cookies full of love for your darling junpei?

akane: oh carlos… would you please stop teasing me… 

june is meant to be seen as the ideal japanese woman, and since performance/identity is a huge part of her character, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that she’s performing heterosexuality/amatonormativity, by extension femininity (but that’s an analysis for another day). 

akane is also slotted into the role of a mother figure for kyle just as sigma with the role of father. i can’t help but think of the scene in little shop of horrors (1986), audrey sings abt a stable and “ideal” middle class life. i remember watching it thinking it was odd, given that im aro and am not interested in settling down or emulating cishet middle class values. but my friend, who is poor just like audrey and akane, told me that it’s a common occurrence for poor ppl to think this way. to want a sense of stability even if it’s stereotypical. i feel like this applies to akane as well. i also hc her with bpd, and instability is a common symptom for us, so it makes sense for her to see junpei as a beacon of such, of normalcy. he’s rlly the only normal part of her childhood. she wants him to fix her lol . 

[id: screenshot from virtue’s last reward which reads: 

“i pleaded with her to leave, but she quietly shook her head. there was someone very special to her, she told me. he had saved her life once, and she felt her death would help to repay that favor.” end id].

and while we do see oldkane/vlrkane reminisce abt her life w junpei thru kyle, the passcode being jumpydolls, i feel like thats less abt love and more abt the fact that shes lonely, which a lot of ppl mistake that like. love can fix that.. when it rlly cant. not to mention what i said earlier

akane and junpei rarely make physical contact beyond junpei holding her in his arms and hugging. you can of course be a couple and not be that physically affectionate, but junpei is the only one initiating this. also like?? not even an “i love you” when you haven’t seen each other in nine years???????

[id: cg from nine hours nine persons nine doors. junpei holds akane’s shoulder with a worried expression. Akane has her eyes closed. End id].

[id: screenshot of zero time dilemma. junpei hugs akane near the basketball court in the lounge. akane wears a wedding ring on her right hand. end id].

[id: screenshot from zero time dilemma. junpei holds a ring in his right hand. white text on the bottom reads, “well, remember back in elementary school your dream was to wear a ring?” end id].

this is actually a common experience for aros who dont realize aromanticism is even an option. i remember when i was a kid, i’d have daydreams of getting married and dating ppl but when the opportunity actually came, i was uncomfortable and rejected it. 

i feel like junpei’s proposal and akane’s acceptance were reckless of both of them, and probably not even signs of true feelings. junpei’s arc is abt regaining agency, and akane’s is abt control (hashtag cinematic parallels), so it makes sense this would happen. both wish they could return to their childhoods, hence their emotionally immature attitudes + tendency to reminisce abt the past (junpei is counterphobic to this though and eventually gets over it in vlr’s timeline, though akane continues to act this way going forward). poor decision making is a sign of trauma after all. 

i mentioned how akane (and junpei but again. Another story for another day) subverts gendered expectations w her personality. aro ppl (as well as lesbians if u wanna go for a lesbian akane reading) tend to feel disconnected from their agab bc yk we arent straight and like a cishet woman liking a man is a sign of womanhood according to Society............ so like what if ur a girl who likes girls? or doesnt like anyone??? what does that make u??? (again, this could either be a trans reading or a lesbian reading)

anyway my point is. i think its more interesting to read akane’s interest in junpei as her wanting stability and a normal life, esp given that she is traumatized and was once poor. i feel like fluffy junepei fanworks make their dynamic very one-note and lack what makes their dynamic intriguing. but hey!! thats just my opinion as an aro person and how i prefer to interpret it 

[multiplicity-positivity]

Sorry if this ask gets broken or send more than once, tumblr likes to crash on my phone a lot oops!

Anyhoo, any advice for creating a headmate?

We're a traumagenic system, so we never had any control over when we split new headmates. But I'm a fictive of someone who's a twin and I really miss my brother and would really really love it if he could join us in the headspace, I think he would really like my headmates and they would be very receptive of him <:) I talked to the others about it and they said they think its okay for me to try as long as we do so in a healthy way.

But I dont know how to split a new headmate in a healthy way. Im obviously not going to purposely put us through stress and/or trauma to encourage a traumagenic formation, that'd be unhealthy. BUT I dont know how to help form a headmate in a non-traumagenic way... Do you have any advice or tips? I know theres lots of ways to willingly form new headmates, but I dont really know how to utilize them.

Thank you so much in advance!!

Hi! This is pretty tricky, and in general we’d advise traumagenic systems to make sure they’re in a safe place/have made significant progress towards recovery before attempting to create a headmate. There’s a lot of ways something like this could go very wrong if proper care is not taken! That being said, you do know yourself and your system better than anyone else! So if you and your system believe attempting to create a headmate is the right thing to do and the best move for your system, we’re wishing you the best of luck, and have some resources we can share.

All of the best resources we’ve found so far we’ve compiled in our resources post for questioning systems.

That post ^ has a whole section for plurality that is non-dissociative disorder specific, with tons of links to guides and resources on how to go about creating a headmate. The paromancy (called “tulpamancy” in the links) guides are probably the most comprehensive, with tons of information on creating a paro/thoughtform, which is a type of nontraumagenic headmate.

Y’all might also find it easier and less high-stakes to visualize this person as an imaginary friend or an aspect of your headspace. Lots of systems have NPCs in their headspace which have limited autonomy, but aren’t actually full-fledged system members. You can visualize an NPC in the same way you visualize a setting or object as a part of a headspace - we have a little headspace primer which we’ll link below which might help if you choose to go this route!

If you start out with this potential headmate as an imaginary friend, and they ultimately start to feel like a part of the system, there’s a term for that! It’s called imagi, and you can read a bit more about it on Pluralpedia:

Hopefully this helps at least give you somewhat of a starting point! And if we may, a final word of caution:

Creating a headmate is a big deal. Often this is something that will last forever, and cannot be easily reversed. What is so so important to understand, is that once this headmate can think for themself and are afforded some autonomy and agency, they may make decisions or choose to be something that no one in your system ever would have anticipated.

This means thy may want to separate from their source. They may not act, look, or view themselves the way the twin from your source would have. They may not arrive with source memories, and may not see themselves as your twin at all. In many systems, headmates act and function as their own individuals, and feel happiest when they have their own agency and get to make choices about how they present and interact with the world. This means, there is a chance that any headmate you create won’t live up to the standards you’ve set for them beforehand. We’re not saying this sort of thing will happen 100%! But there definitely is a chance of this occurring, so it’s best to be prepared in case it does.

In the end, this is your choice and a choice to be made by your system! We just hope y’all are understanding the consequences of doing something like this, and know that no matter how you envision your new headmate at the beginning, there’s nothing certain that will keep them that way as they grow and develop on their own. We hope your potential new headmate will be understood, valued, and respected for who they are as they are, and not who others hoped for them to be!

Sorry this got so long! Good luck with everything! We hope this process goes as smoothly for you and your system as it can!

🌸 Margo and 👻 Ghost

[tauforged]

#1: I love finding someone with a unique/rare ship or headcannon.

#2: the interaction with Sigma and Sombra, where Sigma is saying Moira is going to run some tests on him, how do you think Ramattra would respond to hearing that?

#3 do they have any nick names for each other?

AW TEEHEE THANKYOU!!! its been a while since ive had the motivation to like, draw or write anything for em but rest assured im thinking about them so so so much... youve activated my autism trap card though i have an INSANE amount of convoluted opinions on the nature of character dynamics between sigma and sombra as well as sigma and moira and im taking this opportunity to babble about it. sorry in advance.

as for the interaction, personally im of the opinion that said 'tests' are literallly.... just tests. as in like, yknow, bloodwork, scans to make sure the implants and augments he has are actually working to redirect excess pressure and kinetic energy from his vital organs when using his abilities ... ive talked about how i think that sorta stuff works more in this post but tldr is that a lot of the tech and equipment hes using is of his own design and VERY experimental, hes pretty much flying blind here so he kind of has to make changes as he goes and so it's kinda important that his health and safety are taken into account. and he also has a bit of a uhhh. demonstrable history of disregarding his own safety for the sake of his research. it would kind of make sense that theyd be going out of their way to make sure someone stays on him about actually doing the damn tests and keeping track of the results. it just so happens that he's really averse to letting just anyone Examine (tm) him because of. yknow. the everything. and moira happens to fit the bill of being A. someone he feels he can trust to not take things too far (whether or not he's making a good choice here is up for debate, but i think he could do worse) and B. actually have a degree of knowing what she's doing. i definitely think that the only reason she's bothering at least initially is her own curiosity about everything he's got going on, but he also does just really feel like the type to jsut kind of naturally be very endearing . ive said before that a lot of their interactions read as playful to me, at least on his end - he DEFINITELY sounds like he's messing with her on purpose. i think he does genuinely regard her as a friend, and for the most part, he's probably right - even if she's a bit cranky about it. i have a LOT of thoughts about their relationship too honestly probably far too many to cram into this one post LMFAO i think about the dynamic a lot. im a moira apologist idc i think that she is capable of being nice sometimes. just because shes kind of a cunt sometimes doesnt mean shes needlessly cruel, like not only do i feel like messing with his head and experimenting on him given his history would be kinda kicking him while he's down. but ALSO, i feel like she's smart enough to know that making him an enemy would be a baaaad idea. he can literally explode people with his mind. she knows better than to give him any reason to be genuinely mad at her, and i do think he would absolutely NOT tolerate any kind of treatment like that ever again unless it was on his terms and he had the power to just leave if it got to be too much. even as it is, i think the entire process is a bit of a sore spot for him and not exactly something he's thrilled about, hence his hesitation in that interaction - not because it's happening against his will so much as he's regarding it the same way i think about having to go get blood drawn. it's not fun, but it's gotta happen somehow.

all that to say, i think upon overhearing discussion of said 'tests' without further context mattra would NOT be happy about it, likely getting defensive the same way sombra does. he'd probably be a lot harder to dissuade than she is tbh, i dont know if he'd really take moira's word for it that there's nothing underhanded going on here unless sig told him so himself, and even then it would still put his hackles up. he's probably very nosy about it for a very long time. just to be safe.

as far as nicknames/pet names go, in my mind theyre both very... awkward about these kinda things i guess if that makes sense? emotional vulnerability comes easily for NEITHER of them, between sig still recovering from decades of isolation and mattra just naturally being very guarded and bitter (for good reason!) and not used to outwardly expressing his care for others, especially not for some random human who seems to have decided that they're friends. to me, their dynamic is very much one of tentativeness and battling with distrust and insecurity. i think it would take a very, very long time to get there, and even longer to actually be able to casually say stuff like that without wanting to explode and die on the spot. i do think sig is a bit more outwardly affectionate than mattra, but even then, a lot of it is kinda tempered by the fact that he's just very forward with everyone about everything at this point - he's kind of desperate for positive connections with others that he can hold onto, so he's reached a point where it doesn't take much to get him to consider someone a friend and he's not exactly hiding it anymore. oh, i dropped something and you picked it up before i had a chance to? sick, we are now besties and i would kill for you.

i think that sort of attitude would catch ramattra off guard and he'd not really know how to react to any of it. sig could call him anything at this point, but if it's in an affectionate tone he WILL bluescreen about it. ramattra.exe has encountered an error and must restart

i do really like sig's valentines voiceline, so i might just roll with 'starlight' even if it's a bit cheesy... hell, now that i think about it, i think he'd do that specifically BECAUSE it's cheesy and will probably elicit an eye-roll or a 'stop that'. he seems to enjoy pushing people's buttons. maybe bothering his friends is his love language idk

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

alright hi :))

this is a continuation of the one that didn't get finished cause of glitches 😒😒 idk what i typed 🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️ so here's what i THINK i typed and then some.

• im a girl gemini (diabolically cursed x5) with curly hair that's black at the roots (and then some) and dark purple at the bottom. i have dark brown eyes and im about 5'6 and i have brown skin ! im latina so im just a smidge lighter than johnny :))

• i don't have a personality because i have too many interests and different views with everything. id like to think i'm a combination of everyone and everything i find cool and interesting. which of course means i have a WIDE variety of topics in my head. i love to see the point of view from multiple people and i don't stick to just one overall opinion with things. i'm pretty indecisive but once i have a firm stance on something (like absolutely NO pineapple or mushrooms on pizza) then it's pretty hard to sway me.

• I LOVE MUSIC 🗣️🗣️🗣️🫦🗣️ i want to inject it into my soul and become one with the sound waves....but i seriously love music 💿 i have tons of cds and i caved and got spotify premium because i can't live with the ads 💔💔 i also LOVE to read and write, it's been an outlet since i was a kid so.

• i also don't have a style. like i said, i have a lot of interests and i tend to always try to let everyone know that at all times (im insufferable and pretentious unfortunately) so i'm constantly mixing it up. downtown girl meets david bowie new wave ??? check. whimsical gothic witch that listens to stevie nicks ???? check. 70's almost famous, dazed and confused wannabe ??? check. twee eternal sunshine jessica day meets juno and romana flowers ??? check. I DOMT HAVE ONE AESTHETIC 🗣️🗣️ I JUST DRESS LIKE ME AND HOPE FOR THE BEST 🗣️🗣️🗣️

• i'm not sure what my love language is ??? id assume in a healthy relationship you'd have a generous balance between all of them but idk 🤷‍♀️ leaning more into some though id def say words of affirmation and physical touch but ONLY with a romantic partner. idk why but any other kind of physical intimacy with another person just feels very weird to me and i don't like it. i always do find myself daydreaming though and wishing for affection like that from a partner so yeah 🤷‍♀️

• i slip up sometimes and call people terms of endearment 😞 i try not to cause ik some people don't like that but i always say "baby, honey, and sweetheart". sometimes i use them jokingly but i also just say them as filler tbh

• i'm not the kinda of person to go up to you and strike a conversation but if someone came up to me i wouldn't turn them away immediately. i tend to have a pretty good understanding of peoples vibes so i'd like to think i can tell when someone's being disingenuous. i'm shy at times but that's not my whole trait cause once i get comfortable you are in for JOKES AND JOKES AND JOKES 🐺🐺 i don't take myself seriously very often and i like to try and make other people comfortable around me and what better why to do that than humor :) !!! i'm don't think i'm insanely funny, i just laugh at my own jokes and hope for the best 😞 i laugh a lot and i have a loud laugh 🤬 i try to tone it down though cause i get started at a lot and my overthinking ass can NOT handle that PLEASE DONT PERCEIVE ME

• once we're locked in 🤞as friends or whatever i'm LOYAL😍 someone talking bs ??? not round me partner. not. around. me. 🐺🐺 im not the confrontational type at ALL but i am fiercely defensive over people i care about so if duty calls, i must attend. (im literally batman.)

• one of my go to signature scents is lavender honey and wild fig. do with that what you will 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

OK I THINK THATS ALL SORRY IF ITS A LOT THANK YOU

(note: the format might be weird cause it is NOT letting me type in peace 😭)

Oh buddy, I think Johnny would be obsessed with you. He loves your never changing style, he can't wait to see what you've got going whenever you guys are together. He offers to help touch up your hair too, if that's something you're interested in- your terms of endearment are more than alright with Johnnycake, everytime you call him one, the butterflies in his stomach go bonkahs

[malt-rants-and-stuff]

Hey malt um i see u posting about an anime on my dash and im getting into a lot of different anime to fill the homeless gay dog void um. Do you wanna tell me about your anime maybe?

OH DO I? finn my dear friend you dont even know what you're getting into here. reaching into the depths of my true form: main fandom brainrot.

okay given that im sasamiya posting rn im going to Assume you mean them but i was also posting about dunmeshi earlier so if you wanna hear about that too just let me know but AH. There is so much to sayyyy

Okay going to try and break it down to the basics here but sasamiya (or as its actual title, Sasaki to Miyano) is basically my mcu. my sasamiya-verse. there are two manga series currently ongoing in this universe but the world is in my hands and there are so many other fandom made one's i'll get into in a bit. But For Now.

Sasaki to Miyano's basic premise is- as copied from mdex because it really is worded best there- "It all started like a typical old-school boys’ love plotline—bad-boy senior meets adorably awkward underclassman, one of them falls in love, and so on and so forth. But although Miyano is a self-proclaimed boys’ love expert, he hasn’t quite realized…he’s in one himself. Which means it’s up to Sasaki to make sure their story has a happily ever after…!"

That's it. fun and simple and sweet gay love story set-up we love to see it. Except that it can never be so simple. Because the author, harusono shou, does this crazy thing called being a really good writer who creates beautifully alive characters for me to shake like maracas in my brain.

Like, you think it's simple. Miyano is a loveable bl fan who hasn't put much thought into his sexuality, Sasaki is the guy he successfully gets into his hyperfixation and they grow from that shared interest into an adorable relationship. But Then they hit you with the Miyano body insecurities and youre like hey, wait a minute. And then they caually show Sasaki displaying every single symptom of undiagnosed depression in his childhood and you have to stop and go hey... And then they have to have Hanzawa mother fucking Masato (lovingly said. absolute beloved character.) and you quickly realize that this isnt just some sweet romance story. it's a sweet romance story with the most quietly complicated character writing one only dreams of <- im biased and obsessed. may not be true to life but [shrugs] there is no one doing it like harusono and her thousands of words of character analysis that she has written about her own characters. i love her fr.

Im trying not to spoil things here really but it is genuinely such a lovely and interesting story, the light novels are literally my entire life, occasional side character Shirahama Kyouji is genuinely my favorite character and he probably has a total of 8 scenes in the translated manga so far. he was my blog theme for like 2 weeks straight earlier this year i am insufferable about him and everything he both is and isnt.

And that isn't even getting into Hirakagi. the agonies. Hirano to Kagiura, the technically prequel spin-off manga about sasaki's best friend and the gay shenanigans he gets up to with his roommate. they make me sob and also make me sick its great. could not reccomend it more even if you never read sasamiya or vice versa just one of them is such a great read.

The biggest appeal for me though is definately the fandom though. like i have been in So Many Fandoms as you can tell from the absolute chaos that is my blog, but ive probably only experienced this sort of fandom experience once before in my whole entire life. im so entrenched. the thing about being a, while popular, still very much a bl series that doesnt get much in terms of fan or official content, is that eventually something has to give. usually that means that the fandom is either dead or rarely gets talked about, which you would think to be true i you just looked at the main tags, but ive never been in a fandom that breathes to much... life?? into itself??? dont know how to word it. we make it work around here basically.

like after years of gaps between chapters we all collectively just went "okay how about we just do it ourselves" and essentially made the fandom into goncharov before there was ever a goncharov yk. like the actual story is really good and well done and then we all just went and made it our own to keep ourselves sane, and it worked!! we call it hanzawa to tashro!!! it is in our minds and also technically in the text. its so amazing here i cant even explain it well enough. my friends @/dirtbra1n @/aranarumei @/kagiuraakira and @/sunnnfish and so many others (we're all easy to find we stalk each other's blogs to talk about all of this) make awesome posts about it. #riverposting or #hanzawa to tashiro are good places to look if youre interested. i also talk about them A Lot over here to you can look through what I have too though a lot of it has like specific aus like #dating sim au and stuff tagged on mine, so the others are better bets for general meta posting fun. Just. Its so fun here. also if youve ever liked jeweler richard then shameless plug bc my dear friend kiri wrote the anomalous agate which is a beautiful and fun crossover with hanzawa to tashiro and tcfojr which is so so good if you're interested.

Just, there is a lot and this definately didn't cover it all. i want to explain riverposting but that takes Time and Context and also was explained before by sunnnfish on their blog im pretty sure (and they do amazing art over on @/sunnfish with 2 n's) if you ever feel like checking this all out. i love this place a lot.

[crimsonicarus]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by the lovely @hungriestheidi <3  thanks for the tag love!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

19 works counting some anonymous fics I've done

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

105,189 words!!!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

actively only for F1 but i have also written for Football rpf and inception

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A certain something in the middle (Charles/George/Pierre)

Landos George (Oscar/George)

The holding of hands and the breaking of glass (Sebastian/Charles)

Wrong Number (Max/George)

I don’t know how not to love you [And i'm fine being ignorant] (Pierre/Charles)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! and I'm very fast at it lmao. I try to answer every comment as I really appreciate people using their time to leave commentary! sadly i am not good at coming up with good responses as I'm usually just overwhelmed by how kind every comment is

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I would say It's called: Free fall, just because I did let a lot open to interpretation, I think all my fics have a closed ending or something that lets you know I will go back to them. This one is very much open, None of us knows what happened to Toto, and I'm not sure if i was obvious enough highlighting that Lewis was god. Aside from that maybe Honey please try to love me as it is an unfinished work that started and ended with a break up

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Either I don’t know how not to love you [And i'm fine being ignorant] or A Fever You Learn To Live With (Nico/Jenson) The first one because its a getting together and its just soft, the second one is an established couple coming to terms with stuff and accepting mortality, it was cute

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far! all my comments are super kind and i love each one of them

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

porn with plot!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

So far no crossovers, unless you count me throwing drivers from different eras and making them "friends" on my greek myth au (the only place where you will see nico rosberg and mark webber casually dropping Fred's Vesti and Jack's Doohan names)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that am aware

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I translated one of my fics from english to spanish! honey please try to love me is available in spanish and english

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Im currently doing it! my dear @hrhgeorgerussell and I have some georgierre going on, that thing barely has a chapter but haunts me daily

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I'm a multishipper, and especially what i do is taking my fave guy and shipping him with everyone so i can get more content, I dont have a favorite ship of all time, but i have some fave guys that i just love reading

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The piano instructor Lestappen fic, it was cute until i started lowkey hating lestappen (? so now i cant touch that fic nor read anything with them 

16. What are your writing strengths?

Imma go with dialogue, @readingbythestreetlights usually points it feels natural, and ive started to see that too, I like how conversations flow on my works,

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

constancy? especially for my series.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I feel like it needs to be obvious, or have an obvious meaning. I usually end up finding it a bit problematic for readers so never do it? (i did it once for french but it wasn't that much)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

inception, Arthur/Eames if we re being specific

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

the entirety of my loving a god is only a tragedy if the god does (not) love you back but the first part, Once Upon a Dream may be my fave out of the three already posted

Tagging: @hrhgeorgerussell, @readingbythestreetlights, @63historian, @raewritesf1, @mars-mystic, @maxcuntstappen

[lokilysolbitch]

My new fixation is bad poetry

and its making me think about how to define art and poetry and what makes poetry good etc but I can't go back and find my sophomore english teacher and rant about it so I'm making it yalls problem. but mr c if ur in here pls read also what do you mean thats one way to skin a hamster. thats not how it goes what are you talking abou

first of all, ive finally figured out my current definition of art: records of the human experience or just experience in general. so yes paintings and poetry but ALSO tiktoks or a decorated room. idc if you think its stupid there are remnants and references to human experiences ALL OVER those. so basically if it left a mark at any point, its art. maybe not always "good" or skilled, deep, etc but it is art (to me)

secondly, what is poetry? the same sophomore english teacher asked this at the beginning of a unit and the class was struggling. every time we listed a requirement for poetry he went "is that necessary though?". "it has to rhyme" "does it?" "it has to be deep" "does it" "it needs to have words!" ".....does it?" man idk i was 15 and sleep deprived

but now im less sleep deprived and i have an answer. I would consider poetry a spectrum (but not necessarily flexible. i wouldn't say you have to bend it's meaning to make something fit) but also playing with language, to be playful with it and have fun with it, to use it as a toy in a way. using language in a way different from its intended use. so writing a personal narrative about a deep topic? not poetry. maybe you had fun with it but thats still its main use. to make words rhyme, to alliterate, to use words just plain wrong? probably poetry. its still a spectrum. and im aware this means that saying something like "yew nork/glass fork" would count as a shitpost and poetry while "Ill love you and ill never stop loving you" doesnt and um i dont care i said what i said--

this would also mean most books and speeches would have little bits of poetry in there and i stand by that too. maybe the entire thing isnt poetry but bits of it could count. i came to this conclusion on the meaning of poetry because i saw too many "aesthetic" free verse poems that were just. tweets. you coulda just made it a sentence and posted it for free. there was no attempt to play with language. you just used it the way you were supposed to. its just a quote.

im definitely going to add more onto this about what i think poetry critics miss sometimes and why formal teaching of poetry is flawed but not all in one post bc its a lot. However i have one last concept to attempt to define. this one has always made me the angriest

GOOD VS BAD POETRY/ART

where do i even start. maybe we should just get rid of these terms completely and make people say what they mean. is it good or did he just use literary devices correctly. is it good or is it genuine. is it good or is it deep. is it good or is it entertaining. is it good or do you like it. is it good or is it popular. is it good or is it complex. is it good or is it creative.

ive been saying since i was i was maybe 12-13 that even though good does not have a solid stable meaning, there is still a sense of what good is. We know what its supposed to be. classical music, Edgar Allen Poe, Da Vinci are good. sure most people barely know or understand or care about these things other than one piece of work they can recall because they had to look at it in highschool that time and the teacher seemed to appreciate it. and we know that reality tv, messily hand drawn animals, and half assed near unintelligible tiktok skits are bad.

but....wait we like those though

ive come to the conclusion that while still shifting, "good"'s meaning in scholarly settings tends to come down to whatever those somethingth century european dudes and what the modern smart looking guys deemed intelligent. and in colloquial settings, what everyone likes.

many pretentious types will say rap is bad and the subject matter is crude and the same way im sure some old european guy would have said or has said traditional african music is too weird and primitive to be respectable.

now. i dont really listen to rap intentionally. if its in there its in there. I used to be pretentious and after changing i just never got too deep into it BUT. i listened to a Nicki Minaj song one time just to see and yeah it was not family friendly but dear god was it clever. the way she'd drop the most genius alliteration-personification-allegory-englishvocabword and then just keep it moving like im not gonna have to stop and ponder the seven layer reference to bedtime hanky panky. its smart. its creative. its complex. and so many rappers can write about the same topics over and over and still come back with a new way of phrasing it. its genuinely impressive

but so many still wouldn't consider it good.

the term good when it comes to art, while having somewhat of a meaning is still useless. make your own personal standards for what is important for you to see in art. its kind of silly for us to collectively decide "okay this art? we like it. this is good" and then go to a different community (age group, culture, race) and go "were going to show you the new gold standard for good! its what we liked! you dont do it like this?? then yours is bad!". historically thats never been a good move

what i find important with poetry (and by poetry i mostly mean song writing bc i dont even read poetry like that) tends to be "is it a poem? or a sentence/paragraph". everything other than that just has to do with my taste and what I prefer in the moment. and it goes the same for everyone else. there's no universal good or bad with art. its just what a dominant or culturally respected group of people said was important.

limericks are bad tho jesus told me/j

TL;DR: i think anything that records an experience is art. i think toying with language mostly makes it poetry, and i think its weird people create little boxes for good and bad and make everyone else adhere to it

[tangirlisfangirl]

i read a post saying how we should make true barbiesonas based on the movie concept of each doll being tied to a real-world person and their mindset influencing the doll’s own SO. though p much all the ones i had were movie/princess dolls heres the story of the only generic barbie and ken i had/have <3

Travel Barbie

 i tried finding her in the attic but with no success, she might’ve been donated <:/ either way she was a generic blonde barbie that usually had her hair pulled up/back so it looked cool in her helmet, but i can’t remember what color eyes were so for uniqueness sake imma say she had color shifting hazel eyes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (face claim is chloe grace mortez (or sabrina carpenter, ive been a fan of hers for forever but i dont think her eyes or face/body shape match the character so im torn))

yall i had SO many vehicles, the only one i still have is her bike but i also remember a pink car, a little camper van, and a carriage for the princesses ofc

so it only makes sense that her ‘job’ would be traveling/exploring, just making her way across the country through different means and sharing her experiences, maybe through reviews and blogposts maybe through writing and memoirs who knows :p

i’m leaning towards the latter so she can mirror my own love of writing and flowery word choice, just not to an award-winning degree but girl me neither dw

i also want to imbue my creative nature into her so she also loves drawing singing and cooking— painting the sceneries she comes across to capture their vibrancy, vibing along to the radio as she drives or camps out for the night, and making herself tasty pancakes and smoothies and pasta and chili and cupcakes and smores using the limited counter space she has to fuel up and treat herself throughout the course of the day <3

assumedly she would also be rather active/athletic and resourceful, with a decent amount of knowledge regarding mechanics so she could fix any malfunctions while on the road

(this tracks cause my mom has an rv herself and is also handy like that so she would inherit those traits from my mom (her grandma ig?? if you wanna think about it like that lol) which furthers the familial themes of the movie)

also i absolutely ADORED weird barbie’s robot dog so my barbie’s getting a dog too!! a curly haired poodle that loves water and long rides like my irl dog does!! is it real? that’s up to reader interpretation ;)

as mentioned above my main dolls were ones from the animated movies, specifically the diamond castle since it was and is my all time favorite, and i had alexa and liana along with melody and the two other muses

(yall the texture on their grecian dresses was SO nice i remember it to this day—)

(i also had rosella from the island princess movie which was my second favorite)

i don’t know if they’d be in barbie land canonically but i’m not characterizing them here cause they’re… already… characters…

BUT i’m using that to say travel barbie is friends with royalty, and as such is simultaneously fun and friendly while being mature and refined with a princess-y vibe from being surrounded by them so much

maybe cause gloria had skipper’s treehouse as a kid so her barbie lived next to it, my barbie would live next to the diamond castle or sumn afshjdasvdjs

in terms of who she is it makes sense, being well-traveled and getting the chance to meet people from all walks of life, and just clicking with them specifically for no particular reason

but it also works in terms of who I am/was, even when i was super young i was kind and generous and bouncy but a bit more serious and reserved than other kids, it just works so well with how those traits would reflect on my barbie both in and out of universe :))

if she’s still in my possession/house somewhere and connected to me then at the VERY moment shes just generally emotional with an inexplicable love of life and humanity yall im telling you this movie is affecting meeee—

overall tho she’s more mushy like stereotypical barbie, sad and complicated and anxious for no reason at times but still lively and talented and living her best life and working through it all with the help of her friends

i can’t remember if i’ve found her in the past, but man i hope i didn’t have her out for long, that’s how you get “inexplicable thoughts of death barbie” and “highschool dropout barbie” and “why don’t i have a real job why is everyone around me so much more successful barbie” and “feeling inferior and ugly and ashamed and unlovable barbie”

IT’S IN THE PAST YALL I SWEAR IM DOING BETTER I GOT MEDICATED SO WOULD SHE—

super close with psychiatrist barbie nowadays 😂😂

speaking of i saw this meme/image (credit to gmf.designs on ig!!) and the culture of this movie just continues to hit hard, like it fits so perfectly i—

Swim Ken

clean-shaven black boy with sculpted hair and colorful striped swim trunks (faceclaim and bodyclaim is winston duke)

as such his job wouldn’t be just beach like rg!ken but rather swim/swimming, which also extends to pools

is he a good swimmer? beats me 🥴

he likes it that’s all that matters!!

i appropriately don’t remember much about him since i wouldn’t play with him much lmaooo

the only other boy doll i had was the prince from island princess (specifically remember his gorgeous blue jacket and his weird pointy plastic crown band thing), so they would be best friends and as such, he would have a similar elegant/royal vibe about him

aww he probably gets a bunch of ideas on how to woo travel barbie from him

honestly?? idk if theyd be more like margot robbie + ryan gosling or ncuti gatwa + emma mackey in terms of relationship

(ik that one part where they hug and stuff is supposed to be a shoutout to the sex ed fans but i truly think theyre an item vs being just friends, and different barbies have different types of relationships with their kens)

anyway idk what type of relationship they’d have but he’d be super gentlemanly and romantic regardless, true prince material

they probably have a lake in barbieland right? for rowing and fishing and stuff

that’s where they would hang out/meet up the most, still go to the malibu beach ofc but a quiet crystal blue lake fits the vibe better imo

he simultaneously has pool lake and beach vibes JUST ALL THE WATER

[starwell-tarot]

hello darling!!! 🐿️🐢

hope your gloomy day still went pretty well, tell me about it!

some advice i can concentrate better on - as a mentionned yesterday it is definitly true that i like challenge and i got motivated by the idea of trying to find a way to make concentrating in class smth stimulating for my brain ofc i still need to find ways to it right but its a really charming idea to me! i also need to focus at home and get work done there to be able to concentrate better in class so its a whole process that im ready to try out with the method your proposed to me

motivation - feeding my soul, how poetic wow it is true that im very lucky to study what im studying rn and its actually stuff that are useful in life and if i dont find it interesting then maybe it can still be informations that i can share with others right? there is an enormous amount of material in every law classes so i wont be able to memorize everything but your advice made me see things differently and i actually want to try to remember most of it on the LONG TERM and not only for exams! once again it is an advice that really speaks to me and that i will think about when studying

balance - i actually LOVE lists/ plannings/ etc like writing everything i want to do for the day and packing my schedule with many different stuff like seeing many friends, doing productive stuff for school, doing my hobbies it really helps me see how i spend my time and share out the different things i do (so i dont do the same thing over and over again) and i cant believe i FORGOT about it like i actually stopped doing it and i forgot i am so grateful for this advice

relationships - my friends often complain that i dont share intimate things with them like my daily problems and all but i actually just dont see what they could do about it? anyway i still struggle with these things i'll try to question myself more often to see whats the right thing to do for everyone when im in a bad spot like you adviced

avoid stress - im really not good at dealing with negative emotions lmaooo its also gonna be a challenging point i'll try to believe as much as i can that stress is not an end its just a signal just like you said once again thank you for your works i'll try my best

self care - its so beautiful! i live in the city so im not that much in contact with nature but its true that whenever i go help my grandmother in the countryside it feels refreshing i just need more time to do so! now that i know its smth that could help me i'll keep that in mind and prioritize doing in these situations! im a taurus after all! even tho earth is only my third dominant element im an earth sign lmao

words of encouragement - everyone seems to be wrong about everything its crazy ajkdhdbnzev i really should be more humble its a problem but anyway yes even tho i think some people are stupid deep down i'll still take their opinion into consideration just in case when in fact i shouldnt with your advice i'll try to accept that sometimes peoples advices just arent for me and maybe they'll help someone but its not my case! thanks

daydreaming - yes in my experience heavy daydreaming has been because STRESS, bored in my life and obligations i have that i dont want to do the problem is that it really put me in problematic positions everything comes down to stress at the end so if i understand how to deal with my stress i wont feel the need to escape like this :/ i'll definitily think about your advice and when i notice im starting to daydream heavily ill try to ask myself why and to resolve the issue

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR READING!!!!! everything really spoke to me and ill make sure to apply it well in my life from now on i'll think about your kind words and do my best!

Hello! My gloomy day was comfy 😁

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a lengthy feedback 🖤 it means a lot and it's very helpful.

I'm also glad to hear you're enjoying the perspectives and ideas the cards gave 🤔

I went on a whim with the challenge thing and then I was like ... Wait a sec .. didn't they say they have Aries placements? It just clicked at that point. I knew i was right on the money 😂

I was so taken aback by that high priestess card. Truth be told I too had the same mentality in high school! I studied just to know things. To grow wiser as an individual. (Went to a science college (it's a high school despite the name)) So I can kinda see it! Law is very very broad of a subject and there's a lot to study. But it's also so so useful in life! I actually had some law students save my ass when I had a very bad boss at a workplace once they helped me with the contract lol So yeah i definitely think you can become very wise as a law student!

Glad I can help you get back to your lists, too! And uhm, I don't think any human is ever GOOD at dealing with negative emotions. I mean, they're meant to make us uncomfortable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But being gentle and understanding and honest with yourself does make it better!

And I mean yes I see your point. Maybe your friends will not be able to DO anything about your problems but here's the thing. Keeping things hidden creates more stress in the human mind. It's like an extra layer. It's not just "I'm frustrated and confused" It's "I'm frustrated, confused, and keeping it to myself." If you talk to someone, it gets easier 😁 Plus, talking about what goes on inside your mind can actually put you on the spot in such a way you unconsciously organize your thoughts and find the answers yourself. (Like those scenes in movies when a character goes to rant to another one and they literally spend the entire time talking to themselves, giving themselves advice and thanking the other person although they did absolutely nothing 😂)

Literally when I was doing your reading i had "Go touch some grass, bro." In my head 😂 But yes, as an earth sign you probably could feel so much more grounded and peaceful if you interact with nature. 😁

And just wanted to remind you I answered your ask about the double interpretation tarot reading and you can send it to me anytime!

[captainaikus]

✨Third one✨ (part 1)

ASJJFYJKHFTUJHG. As soon as I saw the header with Oliver I know it was finally time. LET THE FLIRTY-PLAYBOY-BABYGIRL SERIES BEGIN!!!!

I wanted to take my time diving into this fic and really digest and understand it as much as I can on my first read because I know it’ll be amazing so I saved it for last.

Love the setting up. The description is fantastic. Ohhhh there’s an older sister huh? I wonder if that relationship will come into play later 👀👀. PSHHHHHHHH THEIR FIRST INTERACTION IS LITERALLY COMPARABLE TO TWO JUDGY BRATS PLS ADJMHGGJNNH. This is amazing I already love where this is going Belle. Oh and they tolerate each other now? Hmmmm very much the potential for ignored feelings. “You can pay me back when you become a football star” oh ho ho making promises for the future already are we now? Loving how y/n is a tsundere but still shows that she cares. It’s really cute and adorable. ASHKKGFKKJHGGGG WHY IS IT ALWAYS 16 💀💀??? When I was 16 I was busy trying to survive high school, pass my classes, and watching anime. And here we have realizations of love already what?? Not a problem at all tho I love how quick this is moving along. Getting to the meat of it soon I hope. GASPS YOU DID NOT!!!! AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES ASDJKGGHJHHHG YESSSSSS. NAHHHHH STAB ME IN THE HEART WHY DONT YOU HE REALLY PULLED THE GAY ROOMMATE CARD OLIVER ISTG IF YOU DONT GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR- ahem anyways tough luck y/n stay strong girl 😭😤. Not you already being his wife what is this married-with-benefits 💀💀. Oliver wake up and kiss her already idc if it’s only chapter one 🙄😤🤚🏼. Oh thank God the sisterhood is safe *sighs in relief* as much as I love the drama that would’ve occurred if it had gone “that” route there seriously needs to be more loving sister relationships in writing, blood related or not. We Stan a supportive older sister 😤😤 (that digs up our buried love feelings for us even though we buried then for a reason 💀💀). LOVING THE ADVICE YES PUT YOURSELF FIRST YOU CANT WAIT FOR SOMEONE FOREVER BECAUSE OF THE POTENTIAL YOU SEE IN THEM AND STUNG YOUR OWN GROWTH IF THE TIME IS RIGHT ITLL HAPPEN. This is making me cry what the heck. I really needed to hear a variation of this at many points in life. I swear to God if Oliver starts coming around right after we start moving on I’m gonna riot. On the other hand love how y/n is starting to be real with herself like yes sweetheart you deserve better (and you’ll get that in him after you both grow separately ofc). OH ITS GONNA BE DUAL POV????? HECK YEAH GIMME THE TINY DETAILS FROM THE OTHER PERSON!!!! Oof not the wedding invite scenario pls this reality setting in part is hurting me so much legit tearing up rn gimme a minute Belle 😭😭. *sniffles* but the GROWTH it’s the first step y/n I know it’s hard but you gotta separate honey 😭😤. NO PLS GOD NO HOW DARE HE COME BACK AS IM SOBBING WHAT THE HECK OLIVER PRIVACY MAN. Not him giving you physical affection right when you’re most vulnerable and coming to terms with getting over him and looking all worried LIKE NO STOP THIS IS NOT HELPING OLI. Oh no not the alcohol 💀💀. This is gonna go great just fantastic isn’t it? *inhales deeply* Belle I’m not joking when I say that I was screaming internally the entire sex scene LIKE WHAT. Kicking my feet blushing and everything. It really felt so real. And the dialogue??? Magnificent!!! Tbh it was my favorite part. In my head I was like “NOOOOOOOO” when you kissed him but at the same time “…yes” when it started getting steamy and the teasing plus the praise??? Kill me now why don’t you. NOOOOO NOT THE AWKWARD MORNING *sobs* I mean I was expecting it but like. Serious. Emotional. Damage. 😭😭😭. Oh no. No you can’t be serious. Tearing up again hold on. The eavesdropping on the phone convo broke my heart seriously ouch. Not the way I gasped when he just walked passed the suitcases. Ahh yes. The m word huh? Excuse we while I go sob again. Almost nothing hurts worse than being called a mistake. Either from yourself or others it’s never fun. Speaking from experience. I knew the emotional outburst confession was coming. I knew. But still. Damn. If only everything could be fixed by telling your feeling out. Love her for that. Finally coming clean with everything. Also Oliver’s being such a jerk and an asshole rn but I know the later redemption is gonna be worth it. Still pissed at him rn tho.

- ✨ anon

✨Third one✨ (part 2) It really made me make a part two because the word count was too high the heck.Still pissed at him rn tho. Anyways moving on. I freaking adore how she also wrote her current feelings down as a part of the first letter. And how she just. Didn’t hesitate. And moved on. We’ve got a flight to catch. Oh my God that fic was amazing. Seriously. You outdid yourself. The pacing was fast enough that it didn’t feel dragged out. The characterization was absolutely on point. The oc characters had their own personalities no matter how few lines they had. The dialogue was emotional and to the point. And it was just overall really realistic in the sense of being human, loving, hurting, and moving on. It made me cry so many times. I had to take so many breaks Belle. It was seriously amazing and I loved it so much. I cant wait for the second chapter whenever it comes out!!! - ✨ anon

I read this ask over 20 times (or maybe more already) cause i love it when people go over the details of my writing and you got all of them! (⋟﹏⋞) Thinking if i should make a note of recommended songs before the chapter so that it make it a more immersive experience? The original setup was supposed to be different back in August, but then I came up with this in September. Mei was a part of the story, but the age gap was a really big one - and i had to make a change midway, so mei is 3 years older than (y/n)... I wanted to keep the pacing of the story to a medium because sometimes the details and the amount of drama that happens is such a drag that I wanted to move past that and onto the real stuff; not to mention that if i did drag it out, it would be more than 5 chapters. Mei and (y/n)'s relationship is gonna have more emphasis as the story progresses (cause honestly this is a simple plot but a very complicated one to explain and I don't wanna give away spoilers cause I wanna just see the reaction you guys are gonna give me) and most of the lines that i used in the first part are the ones that are going to be covered in the latter part of the series. it is going to be a dual pov (spoilers for part 2; the story is gonna be from Oliver's pov.) oh god- and this was the first part💀. you might need the whole box of tissues honestly for the onslaught that's gonna come. (i did cry btw. I ate the jar of nutella in such short time for a reason) The sex was such a drag to write honestly 💀 cause i was just not feeling it. Like really not feeling it; and i wanted to get to the conclusion and the angst (cause the potential for dialogue and feelings is high in those areas) but in the end, it ended up being satisfactory when i read it. Leaving the alcohol part out, everyone's first time should be a fun one and my attempt at keeping your standards and expectations high . (you saying that it felt real made my day, cause often times when i read smut, i really can't relate to it cause it straight up sounds like porn sometimes and porn is very unrealistic.) As for the concluding part of it, i had a bit of a struggle cause (y/n) needed a reason to back away from Oliver and the eavesdropping on the other side of the door was the last straw. And then... I just let my fingers do the magic, just typing everything out.

The amount of times I cried cause of the songs I used to write all of this, and the fact that it hits close to home. The second part is going to go on the ao3 account... still deciding the username i want so that i can upload my works there

But thank you for liking and reading it - cause i really enjoyed writing this one. i've already decided the songs i want to put for the next chapter

[fnafawoundleftbleedingau]

A little insight as to why part 2 of AWLB (and I'm assuming maybe other future fics of mine) are a bit slow moving in terms of getting chapters (aside from one shots) done :3

Well, aside from factors such as free time, motivation, focus and energy.

I'm still relatively new to writing and by no means a professional, its a hobby I've only really picked up recently. I learned with AWLB part 1 that have some kind of outline definitely helps me with know where the story generally needs to be heading but I dont like making things too rigid, that lowers my motivation so! My outlines are really loose ones. Basically I put down what needs to happen in each chapter in the outline and all the other scenes that end up in that chapter are a result of how the story has played out so far.

So in other words, if I only wrote the scenes mentioned in the outline. Each chapter would have 3-5ish scenes that really only moved the story itself along its tracks and left little room to explore the characters. I love playing with the characters as much as I do moving the story along so a lot of other scenes are placed in that stay connected to the story but have a bit more focus on the characters themselves rather than just getting them from point a to point b.

With AWLB theres a lot of characters and a lot of moving parts so to speak. I wanna settle as many of them in part 2 as I can, which means I've got a good bit of ground to cover in regards to both the story of part 2. And handling all the characters, new and old!

Now part of this is because of the spacing I put between paragraphs, I just find it easier to read and look at if all the words blocks have breaks between them. But! As it stands now. Part 1's chapters averaged around 20-40 pages long give or take. Whereas part 2's chapters are currently averaging anywhere from 50-100+ pages long! :o (which is another reason I plan to release a chapter every other week once it's posting time. XD; )

Currently I'm working on chapter 27 of what I estimate to be roughly 42 chapters (im over the halfway point!! :D ) and an epilogue. And while I'm not sure I'll succeed I'm aiming to try and get part 2 written by the end of this year or at least finish up to.. let's say chapter 35 if I can't get all of the remaining chapters done by 2025. :3

Idk. I feel im just rambling at this point so!

TL:DR AWLB part 2 in both chapter length and overall length is absolutely HUGE compared to part 1. And while I am enjoying working on this fic its not the only thing in my life. So sometimes I can write more than others. It's slow going. But part 2 is still going and im excited to see it finished:>!

[littlelambdrgnfly]

Ok since you reblogged that one post I hope you know I reread The Sum of Them for the 3rd time, maybe like a month ago, up until the last chapter and i never finished it cause i didnt want to experience it ending again (if that makes sense), i wish it never ended. I wish they could play baby games forever but its so important it does end because the ending is soo beautiful but so devastating, and it's beautiful because its so devastating, and my heart cant take experiencing that again :'-(

i already sent a message on here saying that your fic was the first fic to make me cry, possibly the first piece of LITERATURE in general to make me cry (i could be wrong but i cant remember any piece before that), and it made me cry 2 times when reading it for the first time. It is truly my favorite piece of McLennon fanfiction, but the only reason i dont fully consider it mine is that if someone were to ask me, it'd be too taboo/freaky to say but its truly one of the most heartfelt and complex ways ive ever seen anyone portray John and Paul while also feeling completely accurate and realistic. My god. And i love so many of your other fics too but The Sum of Them really means so much to me and I cant even say that enough. i wish you could just live as me and be inside my mind to fully grasp how much of an affect it had on me, I dont think i will ever be able to explain it sadly </3. But just know out of every McLennon fic ive ever read (and ive read many), THAT one is my very favorite out of like 100+. The way you characterize them is just so completely different from any other fic ive read and its so intimate and raw and holy shit i dont even have the words. Sorry i know im rambling at this point but I just think about it a lot! Also your fics are the only fics i enjoy anymore, (recent) beatles fics have gone down the drain in my opinion and yours are the only ones i can be satisfied with because, as far as im concerned, anything you write is automatically in-character for them after reading The Sum of Them lol x) thank you so SO much for writing cause it's truly exposed so many of my own desires and hidden , sensitive parts of myself that couldn't be excavated any other way without your work 💖

Dude... this is legitimately one of the best comments I've ever gotten. I wish I could memorize all of this and replay it for myself whenever I'm feeling blue. Thank you so so much, it means the world to me! I think all writers insert their own thoughts and emotions into their work, and I definitely do that in all of mine, but especially The Sum of Them. This fic is basically my wishlist of things I would do with a partner, as well as coming to better terms with my own kinks, so I'm glad it's been able to resonate with people. I'm also glad that I managed to keep John and Paul in character, even if John is crying every other paragraph lmao! I totally get what you're saying about wishing I could experience what you did, I wish I could too. Sometimes I reread my fics with the mindset of someone reading it for the first time, but it's just not the same. I'd give my left tit for more writers on my level or higher who wrote bottom!John or even ABDL fics, I swear. I don't read a lot of fics these days, but I'm usually disappointed whenever I check the Beatles tab. I'm also really really bad at remembering titles and author names, so I never remember what fics that I like! Thank God for bookmarks. I definitely understand not wanting to tell people that this is your favorite fic though, lol! I've been writing Beatles fics for a long time, but I created a new account on AO3 when I started writing these fics. I'm comfortable talking about this stuff, but only with the help of an alternate profile. I'm really really happy to help people explore this side of themselves though-- too often fics like mine are just really gross over-the-top and completely unrealistic portrayals in my opinion, and I guess I wanted to bring something sweeter and more realistic to the table. <3

[pupplaylogan]

i am an ""antishipper"" who would also be referred to as a proshipper, and while I hate both terms, I absolutely refuse to associate with (most) proshippers.

Proshipping & antishipping are incredibly black and white terms that do not allow the nuance and complexity into the discussion about media and what someone should be "allowed to ship".

proshipping refers to someone who supports taboo and dark content within media, no matter what it is, how it is shown, who is writing it, etc. antishipping refers to someone who does not support taboo and dark content, no matter what.

but those statements do not fully express how someone might actually feel in regards to media. and then there's so many microlabels underneath these labels that i feel like the meaning of these words get so convoluted and mixed up.

So for example: I don't care what someone writes about. I don't care if they want to write incest, pedophilia, bestiality, rape, of any other dark concept. I don't care if they want to roleplay that, draw it, enjoy it, it does not matter to me. I don't think we should have rules on what we should and shouldnt be allowed to write about (or even enjoy in media).

However, I do think that it is up to the author on how they want to portray what they are writing. Whether or not they are writing it in a way that shows that this concrpt is bad and wrong and that they are not romanticising it. HOWEVER, I also think authors can write something however they want to AND readers have to bring their own moral compass when it comes to what theyre reading. They cannot be spoon-fed. & then on TOP of that readers also need to know when an author is writing something bcuz they do support it or or writing something bcuz they dont support it. thats how media consumption works and how critical thinking works.

and also shipping incest or pedophilia is inherently different than an author writing a taboo subject. writing a fanfiction is inherently different than being an author writing a literal book. thats why lolita by vladimir nabokov is viewed as okay and fine, and why (some) tv shows (most of the time) don't get criticism for showing taboo topics, but your pedophilic rape fanfiction does. because they're written in different contexts. No one in fandom is exploring the concept of pedophilia and the effects it has on people and choosing how they're portraying it— theyre writing something to either get off to it or to have fun (which is a whole other convo).

I know proshippers that would still call me an antishipper and I know antishippers who would call me a proshipper. That is what comes with this fucking community. i hate these goddamn labels, but i find that most proshippers tend to have a very simplistic view on media (obviously, both sides of this argument are way more complex than everyone makes it out to be and i do not speak for every proshipper) which is why I choose not to associate with them. I don't think a book is the same as your smutty fanfiction.

and ontop of that: ganic can ask anyone to not associate with him because its their fucking blog. i dont care if ganic has the most proshipping views ever (which ... star literally does not), if they say "im going to block proshippers" then they can do that. i love u ganic 🧡

anyway sorry for rambling i just love this topic sooo much and i love having a conversation about it but no one ever wants to. everyone wants to argue and wants to be right and correct in their minds.

I hate to break it to you but according to antis, writing "immoral" content is proship even if it's tagged appropriately

Personally I've gotten hate over this

It's why I try not to get into discussions about it bc it sounds ridiculous.

Ive never met a so called "proshipper" who "flaunts" or "endorses" anything other than a "tag it appropriately" mindset.

Like call me crazy, but that was the default stance in fandom until a few years ago and now it's all anti/pro discourse

Most of the discourse I've seen is antis accusing "proship" of pedophilia and it really just seems like purity politics.

You're free to have your own opinions ofc, but the "leave people be, just tag it" idea has been deemed proship behavior. unfortunately.

i understand where youre coming from anon and im not looking to argue because unfortunately that gets nobody anywhere, but a lot of "proshipping" present nowadays is just straight up pedophilia. and maybe you havent met people like that, but i have and it makes me really uncomfortable hence why i (me, as in myself, as in ganic, as in anxiousgaypanicking) do not want proshippers following me/engaging with my content/etc

i know i cant stop all of it, but i really dont want to look at you and immediately know. as i said in my replies, you can be proship and be silent about it lol. it actually takes more effort to post bluey x biscuit smut or write a detailed post about why you think arya stark should be tied up and viciously assaulted by men three times her age

let it be known im very anti-censorship (i reblogged a neil gaiman post a while ago detailing exactly why). im not going to stop you from proshipping, nor am i going to stop you from having that belief. what i am going to do is say i dont like it and i dont want it around me. write what you want. ship what you want. i actually dont fucking care??? because im just some random person on the internet. like... you can call it purity politics, and you can say you havent seen people endorsing it, but i believe that you are wrong in both of these statements

i think that "leave it be, just tag it" isnt an awful mentality. but i think "hey, maybe thinking this child character should be raped by their father" or "hey i think these brothers should bang" as a coping mechanism for trauma you went through is something that needs to be addressed in a private, medicinal setting, and not on the internet. mentally? do what you want. god, even on tumblr, do whatever you want. just dont interact with me??? thats all im saying. i dont like you and what you believe and the things you choose to do, and if you think im proship for writing rape then yeah, i see how that could be labeled as proshipping, and im not arguing against that either. again, im very anti-censorship, for a bunch of reasons (ill try and find that neil gaiman reblog, but basically anti censorship will just lead to complete like. censorship of EVERYTHING)

im allowed to not like you. im allowed to not want you to interact with me. im also allowed to be hypocritical if you truly deem me so.

idk if any of this makes sense but like. do what you want because i dont care, but leave me out of it? and also stay out of my inbox with this shit please. if you actually want to educate me on proshipping behavior or even try to justify it then suck up your fears and dm me. youll come to find im actually a pretty open and non judgemental person, and even if we dont agree, id love to hear a new perspective. just dont hide behind an anon in an ask box because i feel like thats not constructive for either party involved (that being you and i)

[defiant-firefly]

God trying to remember 3 sets of symbols took way longer than any other run through. Anyway that takes the total of symbols up to 55 that I know and 16 left to learn before whatever the 'compound' Hiragana bit in the book which is probably gonna throw my head out the window.

I'm nearly theeerrreeeee

[vaguely-yandere]

ohohoho chami dearest…. you spoil me so… <3333 (๑´• ₃ •̀๑) <333 one thing i really really appreciate about ur blog is! actually everything. LOL i truly love it here i think(?) your blog is relatively new but as you might know, dom reader/sub love interest blogs and fics are already SO hard to find as is; subby yandere centered blogs are even HARDER to come by!! i get theres a certain charm in being dominated (i guess) but seeing a little cutie on their knees in front of you, all panty and blushy and eager….. i need more of that…! and you have delivered in all ways possible <333 lysm !! i really really appreciate u!!! <333 i feel like now IM the one sounding all obsessive ehehehe

speaking of which…. whats your love language? im curious! you can easily take a quiz by searching ‘lovelanguage quiz’ online, idk if youve ever taken one before!! you might have already, i dont know :0 i just think it would be so cute if yans found out about their darlings love language and did their best to give them affection in that way!! even if it didnt exavtly match up with THEIR love language…

that being said, their love language is well, you! so theyll do their best to cater to your needs!! words of affirmation? theyll tell you what they love about you EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. all the time. (its a bit excessive, really, but you canr bring yourself to cut off their ranting about you, even if its been going on for hours…) physical touch? well, theyll do their best to hold your hand without throwing up or shaking or sweating or passing out. quality time? they’ve already got that down! (idk if stalking can be counted as quality time, though���)

so happy you like attention bc i’ll shower you w it!! i honestly don’t keep up w many blogs (in terms of interacting w them) but id like to be friends w you if you’d allow it!! chami <333 chami <33 im p sure you’ll be able to recognize my actual user @ atp, but we can just pretend you dont <33

yes yes!!! ive always been a bit.. picky with my dom yanderes due to various reasons and i always felt bored when reading strictly dominant yanderes who just degrade you and tend to be rly rly mean or having the dom reader be so... unnatural? i don't wanna be mean to anyone, i also do enjoy a few more dominant yanderes and i love others writings but they don't rly fit what im looking for!! and i wanna encourage ppl to seek out content they like AND i wanna encourage other writers to try and write different dynamics !!! a submissive top, a dominant bottom, service tops, just write some niche stuff!!

ive always been a very dominant person and ive never enjoyed having to read about yanderes who beat the reader (literally or figuratively) into submission cause, well. that's not me! i want me a classic yandere who squeals when i yell at them, who sees me hitting them or hugging them as the same thing!!! but i do also enjoy a good service top (i always imagine them holding silver platters, wearing nothing but a bowtie, a funny top hat and a black thong and doing the classic butler pose) but a service top also ties into the weird need to step on a yanderes thigh while they're kneeling and have them smile up at me through the pain or moan when they accidentally bump their hip into a sharp corner cause theyve been pavlov'd to always associate pain with pleasure (and me! <3 in a very consensual and non toxic way. i don't wanna just spend my time beating my poor yandere :()

which i guess makes sense because my love language is acts of service! i love going things for people and i love having people do things for me!!! a close second would be gift giving but that's just because im greedy lol. i can already see a yandere taking this to the extreme and coddling me (something i hate) by always doing everything for me until i eventually snap at them and then they spend the next few hours begging for forgiveness

which is weird! because i really don't like needy ppl who need my attention on the 24/7 or else they'll spend hours whining and asking for reassurance (this is fantasy why am I taking this so seriously) which is. kinda stupid because the base layer of being a yandere is being needy??? but i think that also just ties into why i like sub yanderes! i have control most of the time! i want alone time? they'll stalk me from a distance! i don't want them putting cameras in the bathroom (i never liked this idea as someone with stomach issues. somethings not even my fantasy yandere needs to know about) fine! they'll just make it suicide proof which is fair and they also demand having walkie talkies in there so they can check in when their anxiety is too high. they physically can't handle leaving me alone? they'll let me tie them up for a while and leave em at home while i do stuff. they wanna kill all of my friends? no. bad yandere. ive had enough bad relationships in my life and i can excuse the stalking, taking of undergarments (but at least replace the expensive ones, damn), possible killing of my enemies, etc etc but i draw the line at being a dick! (again, please know i don't encourage this kind of behavior irl. for roleplay purposes and fantasy purposes ONLY.)

plus, something just gets my heart racing when some pathetic lil cutie is desperately trying to hide how desperate they are for me! again, im an attention whore at heart and i desperately need some obsessive lil nerd (think discord mod oc but cute!) to give me the attention and love i deserve! feed my ego! i refuse to be humbled by a dom yandere >:(

and subby yanderes are so cute and can fit into any category! you want it rough? a yandere with a knife obsession (rival yan is perfect for this) or maybe you wanna be spoilt? CEO yandere who'll let you spit in their face, call them an idiot and then let you drain their bank account while thanking you! (just don't hit them too hard, they're very sensitive:() or maybe you're more of a sadist? rival yandere is there for you! enjoy bottoming but don't like getting dommed? submissive service top! (again, CEO yandere!) or maybe you just adore babying and humiliating your yandere! sensitive yandere will let you call them a filthy whore all day long!

maybe you enjoy platonic yanderes who are more submissive as well (but not in a sexual way) then the girly yandere is for you! sure, they were written romantically but any character can be written as platonic! (except maybe rival yandere or sensitive yandere. they both have issues some serious issues- well, maybe sensitive yandere could be more platonic, who knows!) or maybe a doting parental figure? CEO yan will happily take you in! anyone who crosses your path will be begging for forgiveness in no time! submissive yandere can also be p platonic, maybe they're your big sibling (it's weird using traditionally sexual rhetoric to describe a familial role uegh there has to be a better word for it) who always gives you what you want! gifts? candy? games? a ride somewhere? help beating the shit out of a friend who hurt you? they'll do it all! (i always imagine Tanjiro from Demon Slayer like this.. except he has more morals than a yandere but only slightly lol)

there's just so much potential!!!! <33 and id love to be friends with you sunny darling but i have a confession... i try not to pay attention to who likes what or who doesn't like what! despite being an attention whore, it's so tiring feeling my hopes sink when someone who likes EVERYTHING doesn't like something :( so i just don't pay attention to it! but i love making friends!! EVERYONE should feel free to dm me!! all i ask is to please respect my boundaries (in my pinned post) and to pls be patient with me (im very autistic and socially underdeveloped so chatting is hard sometimes) and don't worry about "coming on too strong" or smthin like that! the entire reason i made this blog is for more dominant ppl (and again! love submissive ppl as well and also welcome them here!) who are okay with setting boundaries! which means i like setting boundaries! and i enjoy practicing setting them! and i think it'd be good for other ppl (esp you sunny :3) to maybe practice taking up space! talking a lot, being loud, or just fairly dominant when traditionally you aren't supposed to be isn't a bad thing! and if someone has an issue with it, trust them to tell you and talk it out like mature adults (cause this is an 18+ blog!) and if they don't wanna talk it out or just don't tell you why they have an issue with you, you don't need them in your life. you have too much shit to deal with to add someone being an asshole on top of that!