#i mean i began seeing a lot of my old ships in new light realizing they have similarities to roland and hokma as characters separately and

[nmoroder]

i see quite a lot of people interacting with hokland posts all the while i am still the only poster on the tag, which makes me seriously consider if there's anothet tag for the ship im unaware of or i really am the one and only person on tumblr doing their stupid stuff on a ship that's honestly an obvious one to me

[in1-nutshell]

Human Buddy the senior liaison becoming friends with First Aid

SFW, platonic, familial, Human reader, implication of reader passing away of old age

MTMTE

Buddy is the human equivalent of Ratchet.

They are a Grumpy Liaison sent originally to keep Cybertronian and human relations good then later to watch Megatron.

They know that something is up all the time.

They call it “The-Kids-Are-doing-Something -Stupid- Radar.” Buddy has a habit of calling a lot of the bots “Children/ Kids.”

Distant explosion

“Thoughs kids… I swear they are going to be the death of me…”     --Buddy

Even though every single one of them is older than him by a good millions of years.

Buddy senior is never too far from Megatron. They take their job seriously. Almost acting as a third shadow, the second shadow is Ravage.

On the off chance that they aren’t watching Megatron they are usually in the Med Bay or at Swerve’s. They relate to Ratchet the best out of all the crew and are often seen together talking about the most random things.

Buddy and Ratchet staring at each other.

“What are they doing?”—Bot 1

“I don’t know. Maybe they hate each other?”—Bot 2

Meanwhile Ratchet and Buddy are having a conversation with their eyes/optics about how dumb everyone’s injuries are today.

The dynamic does change a bit as the new introduction to First Aid.

Especially when Ratchet goes off to get Drift. Buddy senior meets First Aid after the dilemma at Delphi. First Aid is very intrigued by the older human.

“So… you’re a human.”—First Aid

“Last time I checked. And you’re a nurse?”--Buddy

“Sort of. I mean now I’m the new Chief Medical Officer.”—First Aid

“You’re what now?”--Buddy

After Ratchet’s departure is when the both start bonding a bit more. It first began with medical similarities between Cybertonians and humans before moving on to different more lighthearted subjects such as the latest gossip around the ship or First Aid subscription on the Wrecker’s log.

“So Aid… what’s this about Springer?”--Buddy

“What do you mean?!”—First Aid

“Aid I’ve seen your notes.”--Buddy

“…please don’t tell anyone.”—First Aid

“Kid, my lips are sealed, just tell me more about this Wrecker.”        --Buddy

Over time First Aid feels more comfortable around Buddy. Buddy as much as they hate to admit it First Aid begins to look like a son to them than just a regular co worker. Has referred to First Aid as their son before, but First Aid doesn’t exactly know what the meaning of the expression is.

“Did you refuel today?”--Buddy

“I will in a couple of minutes.”—First Aid

“You said that nearly half an hour ago, go refuel son.”--Buddy

“…”

“…”

“What’s a ‘son’?” –First Aid

When Ratchet does come back with Drift, First Aid does ask him what it means. Ratchet lets out a chuckle and points out that Buddy sees First Aid as their sparkling.

First Aid is happy.

He called them his parent one time at Swerve’s.

That was the first time any of the Lost Lighters had seen their senior Liaison crumple down in happy tears. There is a lot of explanation on how much joy they feel after that.

First Aid after that is rarely seen without Buddy nearby.

After a good two years on the Lost Light Buddy calls for a meeting with their close friends and Captains as witnesses. They express that they know that their time now is coming close to an end even more being in space and they wanted to give each a copy of their will in case at any point they were to pass they wanted all their things straightening out.

There are plenty of tears shed, especially from First Aid upon realizing how short the human life span is especially at the point where Buddy is at.

“Please don’t talk about that… not now.”—First Aid

“It’ll be okay First Aid. Everything will be okay.”--Buddy

“Can we just talk about something else? Please?”—First Aid

“…Okay Aid. What do you want to talk about?”--Buddy

First Aid expresses his feelings about their mortality to Buddy later that night. After a bit of tears from both ends, they both promise to have the next few days to be the best together before the end comes.

First Aid did keep his promise till the very end.

[ithinkabouttzu]

Thank you so much ☺️ (For the fem Pacific ship) Okay.. I have grey eyes & long curly light-brown hair. Neutral lipstick! Loose & pretty clothing - satins, fluffy fabrics, etc. Personality is relaxed, comfortable to be around, focused, direct, accepting, open-minded.. A bit neurotic, at times, but I got a good hold on that. Oh, I love cooking, painting, walking around the old streets, being with good company, comfy evenings at home.. Thank you; I so appreciate it 💗

Yes of course thank you so much for requesting!! 💖💖

I ship you with…

Stella!

- Okay let me tell you how GORGEOUS she thinks you are when you first meet her.

- Like she doesn’t even know where to began, she absolutely adores your pretty gray eyes, just everything about you is beautiful to her

- She would remind herself that she doesn’t think of you in that way and would rather have you as a friend (girl is literally lying to herself) but when you guys hung out she would catch herself staring at you all the time and would realize she is actually in love you

- I think she would try to hide her feelings as best as she could when you guys hangout, she would keep trying to brush her feelings off until one night after a long walk around the city, she took a chance and kissed you impulsively.

- This would be her first relationship with a girl, so I could see her being timid to come out at first or even mess something up with you, Sometimes it’s just hard to explain those emotions when they aren’t familiar to you and you completely understand that

- I think you would help her a lot in terms of a relationship. You’re her bestfriend AND girlfriend meaning you have her heart FULLY but i think you would show her what wlw relationships are like and would really open her eyes to that type of love.

- PRETTY PRETTY COUPLE like you guys are so dang gorgeous together, when y’all would walk around town with eachother, most guys would try to flirt with one of you, thinking that you guys are friends. Come to find out you guys are in a relationship would be a SHOCK 🤣

- She loves how comfortable she can be around you, she honestly just gets this peacefulness from you when nobody else can make her feel that way.

- Oh my gosh, she would absolutely adore your cooking, just cooking in general is such a loving gesture in your guys relationship. Most evenings, just cooking up in the kitchen together, stealing little kisses here and there, and enjoying each others time with each-other is always so cute

- You’re more of like the chill one in the relationship while she’s more of the go go type, sometimes she’ll wake you up literally at the crack of dawn just so you guys can go do something together

- and you’re just like ??? but you can’t say no to her because she’s literally so adorable and it would almost be a crime to decline her requests

- So you guys would just be out in the early morning, exploring the city together while you’re just over here like 🥱 trying your BEST to not just fall asleep on her shoulder or something

- but also you’re trying you’re best to be supportive of her spontaneous exploring so you hold out from falling asleep, until you guys get home when you’re practically dead

- Wait Let me remind you how much she LOVES your paintings actually like omg, like every time you paint something new she’s so eager to see it, Like literally jumping at her feet at the thought of seeing your work.

- CUTE DATE IDEA 💡: You guys having a sweet couples picnic, the best snacks and in your nicest dresses, just painting the pretty view ahead while, Stella just looks at you like 🥹 the whole time bc she’s just so in love with you

- Wait I got another one : You guys staying in watching movies together because you guys NEED a day of rest after being busy all week, but Stella can just NOT watch the movie, she gets just a random burst of affection and gives it all to you 🤣

- and you would never decline her love but you’re just over there like, “Hun, let’s watch the movie and we can cuddle up later” but she’s having NONE of that, so you suffer in silence while she suffocates you with your kisses (it’s okay we all know you’re secretly enjoying it though)

- But she absolutely loves having a girlfriend to be with and spoil completely with her love 😭

- as we all know, first wlw relationships are something you just CANT get over so even if you guys didn’t work out (which would never happen, you guys WILL be together) she would still be so in love with you

Omg omg thank you for requesting this so much!! I love writing for some wlw and I hope you enjoy!! :))) 💘

[strawberryjamsara]

Keiji and Sara’s relationship throughout yttd

In which I analyze the found family dynamic between Sara and Keiji then nobody reads it. But jokes aside, I realized back when that anon asked me for my thoughts on Sara that I had enough thoughts on the relationship between these two alone for its own meta so here goes. What Sara and Keiji’s relationship means in the grand scheme of yttd.

ALSO THIS IS NOT SHIPPING SHIPPERS GET THE FUCK AWAY

Sara when she meets Keiji is distrustful of him. And how can she not be? The guy has some creepy bags under his eyes, doesn’t seem to care about the situation, and for no reason is gravitating towards her. And his response when she asks why the hell he keeps putting a random stranger in charge? “Because you’re cute.” Yeah. I’d stay within 50 feet of this guy too Sara. Especially when he’s not spilling a word about himself.

Alright we might as well get the gross part out of the way. To clear things up. In the Japanese version, the word he uses “Kawai” can be seen as a more fatherly word to use with a kid. But the comments about going on dates from himself and from Shin? Those are still there. And I still think they’re really uncomfortable and wish they weren’t in the game period but we can get thematic significance out of them.

We still don’t know Keijis reasons in game for being attached to Sara. My theory? She’s his handicap. He was told to get close to the higher scorer who could easily backstab him, and he’d be stuck with her. It just kinda makes sense to me. But since that’s just a theory I won’t lean to heavily on it for support. But let’s talk about his comments.

Keiji… well, it’s shown at many points in the game that Keiji just thinks of himself as doomed to be a bad person. It can be seen during his day two negotiations when he calls himself a killer and explains he can’t even trust himself so Sara shouldn’t really bother and more explicitly so is the classroom scene between him and Ranmaru where he says he isn’t fit to protect Sara because of his sins. The flirting is both a way to distract people, and to put distance between himself and Sara. He’s not really “protecting” her.

Okay gross bit nobody wants to talk about is over I promise we won’t talk about it again. Let’s talk about Russian Roulette. In this scene, Keiji once again tries to make Sara the leader with no explanation, but then, Sara yells at him, something he didn’t expect. And through this he actually reveals something huge. The source of his trauma. His shooting. For Keiji to have actually revealed something that big, I think that this is the first moment he began to see Sara past whatever reason he first started making her a leader. This is the beginning of their bond.

This bond gets solidified over chapter 1-2s investigation. Keiji is still putting her in charge because his handicap said to build her up for whatever reason, but they’re able to have chats, and she keeps picking at his armor. He reveals his dark sense of humor to her, and she, suspicious just sort of keeps him at arms length. Also she rides his shoulders to screw in a light and he complains which is funny. The scene post Nao also helps the two of them sharpen investigative skills together, as they discuss the mystery of Miley, and Mishimas head.

Then another significant scene. The white room. I call this scene significant because, instead of letting Sara investigate the gruesome scene of the first trial, Keiji for the first time, allows Sara to walk out. Something that will become relevant later but until then, Keiji has begun to put Sara’s well-being above serving whatever purpose he had by building her up. So keep that in your pocket while we go over the main game.

There’s only two points for the main game I want to cover. While Keiji and Sara do put their heads together a few times, Sara still doesn’t fully trust him, so I will only go over 1. When Shin brings up Kai’s emails. Keiji has been fully logical this whole time, questioning everyone’s alibis including Nao’s who he saw the emotional plea from, but when Sou brings up potentially damning evidence of Sara, he just asks if he read the emails wrong. 2. When Sara is panicking over being chosen for the final round, Keiji loudly shouts “GET A GRIP SARA!” With a serious expression. Before quickly backtracking and going back to a devil may care expression. This shows he is both already emotionally attached to Sara, but unwilling to stake himself towards giving himself to a new cause.

Anyways, he stops her from pressing the button blah blah blah, onto chapter 2! I’ve made a post about this before but it seems as early as here, Keiji is trying to talk Sara down from pushing herself further. But at this point, Sara has already dedicated herself to the role because her best friend died due to her priority to protect everyone. Keiji sees the problem and he tries to get her to rest up, but he still doesn’t spend the time to have a serious talk about it because as he says in the classroom. He isn’t fit to protect her. He doesn’t think of himself as a good person who can help her. He thinks of himself as a murderer and he doesn’t allow himself to recover from the trauma.

Sara however is starting to rely more on Keiji. He’s been willing to comfort her in her times of grief and furthermore, she has something to relate to him on. They both have deaths of important people in their lives they feel responsibility for.

There’s also the fact that Keiji sees a lot of his old self in Sara. An idealistic person, being beaten down, and worrying over the idea they might be becoming a bad person. He feels the same as her.

Not to mention… Keiji follows through on his promises. He actually tells Sara about the person he respected like he said he would which establishes a further sense of trust.

However, something that tears that sense of trust apart is the tokens scene. When Keiji doesn’t even let Sara hold 50 tokens, it raises suspicion. Sara already knows he shot a person- what more could he have to hide? That scares her away. The negotiation event is an attempt for Keiji to win back her trust. But it slowly turns into Keiji’s self-loathing session. And his declaration maybe Sara shouldn’t trust him.

However, time passes enough (and Keiji supports Sara enough in the final attraction) for them to get together and investigate in 2-2. And there’s a lot of moments I can talk about there so I’ll be just doing a few rapidfire things. So first, Sara is in peak weird girl mode and Keiji can hardly control her chaos. Second, Keiji makes a full on decision at one point to go against Sara when she’s putting herself in danger of getting caught for their search so they can hide. Third, his response to “I don’t intend to die” when he asks “will you die with me” is that’s a good answer.

And fourth… a moment I really wanna touch on… Keiji watches something that could easily incriminate Sara. It’s not just some word of mouth thing like with Shin who lied about things several times before this point. But in that moment, he still relies on Sara and says he wouldn’t feel bad betting his life on her. The message is clear. Keiji supports Sara unconditionally.

Now let’s talk about Keiji totally dropping Sara’s ass with the card trades.

The way Keiji makes his trades is very telling. He first, steals a keymaster card from either Sou or Kanna to give to Sara. This is supporting Sara, but it’s doing it in a way that supports his view of himself. That he’s a scumbag who would steal someone’s immunity just to give it to someone he likes more. And would a shithead like that be “worthy” of sacrificing themselves and taking the card for Sara? (And he knew she had it. Qtaro had to tell him for their plan to happen) no. Instead he essentially opts for a revenge plot. A plan to ensnare Shin and kill him for pawning off the sacrifice to Sara. Basically, he wanted to fuck up Shin like how he fucked up Megumi. Nice going Keiji. This is… kind of his low point in the story.

But 3-1….. man this chapter hits in all the right ways. I don’t remember 3A that much, (although I do know that Keiji shows a lot of concern over Sara potentially being triggered by Joe memorabilia) and also if you fail the Keiji Midori fight you can have Sara attempt to tag Keiji and he rejects. And how can we forget… the mr policeman flashback. As Sara says, this is Keiji’s first time opening up on his own.

And then… coffin saga. Sara through everything is not willing to let Keiji die. Although she’s had her ups and downs with him, leaving him to die is inconceivable to her with everything they’ve been through together. So she opts to sign the contract both times she is offered it.

Keiji clearly is somebody important to Sara. Important enough that Ranmaru bringing him up is enough to snap her out of her murderous trance. Enough that she throws logic out the window when she has a sign he’s okay.

Likewise, the scene in the classroom for Keiji is… a huge step. When he’s alone with Ranmaru, who is unstable, in that classroom, his priority is Sara. He turns his back to the threat to hold Sara and try and make sure she’s okay- dumb move, but it shows how far he’s come.

And again, I want to reiterate- Keiji is Sara’s anchor. At the banquet when Sara is about to give up, she imagines Keiji talking to her which brings her back in the game. Much like Joe did back in chapter 2. The message is palpable. Keiji is Sara���s new Joe. And when Keiji comes back to comfort her? He’s now fully willing to sacrifice himself. It winds up not being needed seeing as Qtaro is the one that died. But in that moment, we see Keiji has made a huge leap from chapter 2. He almost sacrificed himself for Gin. And he would’ve used his final moments to comfort Sara. He’s embraced that he’s a father figure. He allows himself to be a good person.

Anyways I don’t know how to conclude this and I’ve been writing for hours. Bababooey.

[pirate-au]

A Pirate's Life for a Prince (Part 4)

Summary: Roman was a dashing Captain, content with his exciting life out at sea, diving head first into adventure both on and off land. He wouldn't give up his life for anything, and yet he found himself...lacking something. He was never sure what.

When he meets Virgil, a seemingly common traveler in an old tavern, that lacking feeling in his chest goes away for the first time in a long while. So surely there's no harm in offering the stranger and his friend a ride, right?

Notes: I owe @cheshirevalentine my life at this point <3

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 5 part 6

Roman had woken up early, the few hours of sleep he’d gotten thankfully peaceful after last night’s events- and after Logan had finally let him onto the bed and rubbed his back until he fell asleep.

He’d been up and around the ship since first light, slipping out of the cabin just as Logan had gotten up, bidding his first mate a quiet goodbye.

The Calypso was home, safe and familiar, and her decks calmed his head, his morning tasks a welcome distraction from the storm of thoughts racing through his mind.

He made his way to the bridge, trailing his fingers along the map on his desk, the battered old paper held down by various rocks and paperweights his crew had found and brought to him- like the bunch of crows they were. Roman loved them all the more for it.

He settled at the wheel, eyes on the endless sparkling ocean, singing a gentle song to himself as he watched the sunrise, content to let the hours flow peacefully by as the day began.

“Roman?”

The voice behind him was quiet, a little frantic, and the song died in Roman’s throat as he turned to find the Prince in the doorway, wide eyed and disheveled.

“Good morning, Prince Charming,” he said, forcing his tone light and turning back around. “Sleep well?”

Virgil was silent a moment, and Roman wondered if the nickname had been in poor taste before he finally spoke. “I… I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for?” he asked, keeping his tone gentle when he heard the discomfort in Virgil’s voice. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“I lied,” Virgil said. “And I freaked out on you last night and- and I had a stupid panic attack. You shouldn’t have had to see that.”

Roman frowned, turning his head to look at Virgil. “I’m upset that you weren’t upfront with me about who you were. That’s all. Your panic attack wasn’t your fault, and it’s nothing to be angry about anyway.”

“It’s still annoying so I’m… I’m really sorry. And I’m sorry for lying about- about who I am. It wasn’t fair, I shouldn't have done this to you. I don’t… know what I was thinking.”

“I’m not annoyed or upset because you had a panic attack,” Roman reiterated, turning to face the Prince. “I know how it feels, and I pretty much caused it. I'd be a hypocrite to be mad."

“Oh. It’s… fine.”

“Besides,” Roman continued, letting himself smile softly. “I understand that you had to get out. Trust me, I get it more than you know. You did what you thought you had to.”

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed, quiet and resigned. “I just… I know you have a crew to protect but you were so welcoming and I just thought… I don’t even know. I- I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Have we already turned around?”

“We aren’t turning around,” Roman said simply, and turned back to the wheel. “I told you that. You’re not going back there.”

“What?” The confusion and disbelief in Virgil’s voice made Roman’s heart twist painfully. “Yeah, you… you told me that when I was being a baby and you needed me to stop freaking out but you—”

“We're on the way to Deigh. The trip takes a while, so it will be several weeks before we get there, weather permitting. We stop in two weeks in Gladena for supplies. I wasn't telling you that to calm you down, I refuse to put you back in that situation. You don't deserve that.”

The bridge was silent, the air tense and heavy before Virgil found his voice again. “I don’t…what?”

Roman sighed, turning back around to face Virgil, dropping his arms to his sides. “You don’t deserve to go back to the people who hurt you, Virgil. You don’t deserve to be hurt. Ever again.”

“But you- you shouldn’t put yourself in danger for me,” Virgil argued, despite how clearly terrified he was to go back. “You have your ship to think about and it… it was awful of me to even ask. I… I shouldn’t have put you in this position.”

“I’m alright with a little danger, Virgil,” Roman soothed. “I’m a pirate. It’s nothing new. Thank you for your apology, but I’m not upset. I truly understand.”

Virgil stared, taking in the Captain’s words like he was trying to decipher if this was some sort of trick. He was horribly tense, eyes wary as they flickered over Roman and eyed the exit behind him.

“But, I…” he hesitated, shoulders hunching as he wrapped his arms protectively around himself. “Why aren’t you… aren’t you gonna like… do something?”

He gestured vaguely and Roman blinked, completely at a loss. “I don’t understand. What would I… do?”

Surely he didn’t mean the captain would call this a favor to repay in any way. He would never. Especially not since—

“I don’t know,” Virgil muttered. “I just thought… I figured you’d be more angry, I guess.”

“I mean, yes a little anger is justified,” Roman said, crossing his arms. “But I’m not going to hurt you. I said that, didn’t I?”

“I know.” Virgil hesitated, his bangs falling into his face when he ducked his head. “I just… couldn’t do much about it if you did. And I’d get it. I kinda deserve it, I’m putting you through a lot of stress.”

Roman’s heart damn near broke when he realized the boy in front of him, hurt and scared, wouldn’t even try to stop it if someone tried to hurt him. He thought he deserved it. He thought there was nothing he could do to protect himself, still expecting the worst.

“I—” He reached out and took a step forward, faltering when Virgil flinched, eyes wide. Roman’s face fell, slowly dropping his hand. “I won’t ever hurt you, Virgil. And should we come across anyone who would, I’d sooner shoot them between the eyes than see you hurt.”

Virgil’s voice was small when he spoke, dangerously unsteady. “Why? I mean, I- thank you but… we just met. And I lied to you! How do you know that I don’t… deserve it?”

Roman clasped his hands in front of him, guilt seizing his chest as his eyes dropped to the ground, lips pursed. He could remember feeling like this. It wasn't that long ago- how could he ever forget? Breaking down in front of Logan had been cathartic, of course he'd be able to sympathize with Virgil.

“No one deserves to be abused,” he said quietly. “Especially not you.”

Virgil scoffed, too small and quiet to be filled with any malice. “Patton is the only other person to ever think that, and he likes everyone. So don’t feel too bad if you change your mind.”

“I won’t change my mind,” Roman assured without hesitation. He frowned, fiddling with his still unloaded gun in his belt. “You don’t deserve to be hurt. I don’t want you to be hurt.”

He could see the tears gathering in Virgil’s eyes, the Prince desperately trying to hold them back. “I don’t know why you’re being so nice but… thank you. Thank you so much. I… I have no idea how to repay you.”

Roman was close to tearing up himself, swallowing hard around the lump forming in his throat.

“I- this is perhaps out of hand,” he said, and for once his voice was small. Confined to just the two of them. “Can I hug you? Is that alright?”

Virgil nodded quickly, then winced like he would be punished for his enthusiasm despite Roman being the one to offer in the first place. But he dropped his arms and took a cautious step forward, eyes still glued to the ground.

The Captain made his way towards the Prince, hesitant at first, careful not to spook Virgil. After that first, terrifying step towards each other Roman swiftly made it to Virgil’s side, no hesitation in wrapping his arms around the smaller man and holding him tight.

“I’m so sorry I scared you,” he whispered. “You don’t deserve to be hurt, I promise. You’re safe here.”

He felt Virgil’s breath hitch, listening with a crumbling heart as the Prince quietly cried into his chest, reaching up to return the hug and clutch at Roman’s jacket. “Thank you. I… I really really don’t want to go back.”

“You’re not going back.” Roman held him, hoping that he could at least provide the young man some comfort. It was all he could do for him, other than go back and kill every bastard that had ever dared to touch him. "Never again. You're not alone.”

“But what if… what if they come after me? What if- what if they—”

“Then they’ll be the first ones I run through with my sword,” Roman declared. “They won’t lay a finger on you ever again. You’re safe.”

Roman would say it a million times over if it meant Virgil would believe him. He meant every word. Virgil was safe here, and he always would be. He didn’t dare pull back, not with how desperately the Prince was holding him.

“It’s okay,” he said, dropping his forehead to rest on Virgil’s head when the young man only continued to sob. “I promise it’s okay. We’ll get you to Deigh, you’ll be safe there.”

“I’m sorry.” Virgil was right back to apologizing, barely audible from where his face was buried in Roman’s chest. “I’m so sorry for all of this. I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me.”

“Don’t apologize,” Roman said, hand stroking Virgil’s hair. “I’m here. I’ll be okay, and so will you. You’re safe.”

Roman was careful to keep an eye on Virgil as his breathing evened out and the tears seemed to slow. He’d let go at the first sign of discomfort, of course, but holding Virgil in his arms felt… right somehow. It had been a long time since someone had seemed to need him like this. Pulling Virgil close, his silent oath to protect the young prince made the Captain’s chest feel impossibly light. Like he really could do anything to keep this young man safe.

Roman didn’t want to let go. He never wanted to let go. With Virgil here in his arms, he knew for sure that the young prince was safe. Nothing could touch him here, tucked away against Roman’s chest.

When Virgil eventually loosened his hold Roman was disappointed, but he made no move to restrain him, letting Virgil lift his head from the Captain’s chest.

“Why, hello there beautiful.” Roman took his hand back to cup Virgil’s cheek, brushing away some of the lingering tears with his thumb. “Nice to see you again.”

Virgil’s face ran red immediately, but he smiled. “Yeah. Nice to see you too.”

Roman knew his cheeks were painted with a similar flush, though Virgil’s blush did something to Roman’s stomach that he couldn’t quite explain without a lot of pained pining and sappy words.

“I really am sorry for scaring you,” he said instead, moving a piece of hair out of Virgil’s eyes and tucking it behind his ear. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Virgil assured, and Roman’s heart nearly soared when he leaned into the touch. “You were doing what you thought was right. I’m… sorry for scaring you, too.”

“It’s alright,” Roman soothed, voice hushed. “We’re okay now.”

“Thank you for doing this for me.”

Roman had felt romantic love before, of course. His poor, bleeding heart fell easily and hard but this… this didn’t feel like all those other quick, passionate bursts of love.

This felt like a powerful burn, deep in his chest. It wasn’t love, he knew. He’d met this man just days ago, and though Roman was impulsive and quick to act, even he didn’t fall in love that quickly.

But there was something deep in his chest that pulled desperately at his hands, begging him to hold the Prince before him. He pulled back slowly, eyes opening to watch Virgil for a moment.

“Can I—” He stopped, then started again before he lost his nerve. “I’m sorry, you can say no, but may I—?”

“Heavens! Are we interrupting something?”

Roman practically vaulted away from Virgil, the Prince scrambling back at the same time. The Captain ended up latched to the wheel, his face bright red, Virgil ending up a few paces away looking more confused and startled than embarrassed.

“Oh, goodness!” Patton gasped from the doorway, and he looked a bit like he would be giggling if he wasn’t doing his best to look guilty. “I’m sorry, boys! I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Not startled in the least, good morning, Patton!” Roman managed to squawk out, face only growing hotter when he noticed Logan standing at Patton’s shoulder, eyebrow raised.

Oh, God. Fuck. He almost kissed Virgil. He almost kissed Virgil. Oh, God.

“It’s ok, Pat,” Virgil said, and he sounded much more calm than the Captain did. He wondered if Virgil even realized what Roman had been about to ask. “We’re fine.”

Roman wanted nothing more than to go back to Virgil, to hold him close again, but he stubbornly glued his eyes to the sea. A childish part of him wanted to turn and glare at Patton, but he knew better.

“Alright kiddo,” Patton relented. “My bad. I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just wanted to check on you two kids. Isn’t that right, Logan?”

Logan let out a long suffering sigh, visibly uncomfortable with the situation and probably a bit confused, but he nodded and turned his attention to Roman. “I’ve already explained last night’s situation to Patton. I was just helping him look for Virgil.”

“Isn’t he sweet?” Patton winked at Virgil, patting Logan’s arm. “Anyways, how about you boys come with us to the galley? I’m starving.”

“A splendid idea,” Roman said, pushing down how badly he wished to do anything else, namely go back to holding Virgil. “Better get to breakfast before the crew takes more than their share.”

“Actually,” Patton chirped, pausing in the doorway to send Roman a cold, deceptively sweet smile. “I think I need to talk to our Captain for a moment. How about you go with Logan, Virgil? We’ll meet you two down there in a bit.”

Roman froze, turning to Logan with wide, pleading eyes. Dear God, let his impossibly dense first mate get the hint and stay.

“That’s a good idea,” Logan said, turning to Roman with a look that told the Captain he definitely did get the hint, and was choosing to ignore it. Goddamnit. “You’ve had a long morning, Virgil. I’ll escort you down and make you a plate.”

Roman cleared his throat, trying and failing to get Logan’s attention again. “Well, I—”

“Well, thank you Logan!” Patton interrupted, and Virgil made his way over, clearly oblivious to the rising tension. “Roman and I will be down in just a minute, okay Virgil?”

“Yeah,” Virgil muttered, sending roman a timid smile over his shoulder. “See you there.”

Roman was going to kill Logan.

Logan was careful not to crowd Virgil, stepping aside to let him through the doorway before following with one last glance at his Captain. Patton waited until the two were gone before turning back to Roman, all traces of his cheerful smile gone.

Roman cleared his throat again, forcing himself to meet the man’s eyes. “Hello, Patton.”

“Captain.”

“I, uhm…” he trailed off to rub at the back of his neck, frozen under Patton’s stare. The protective ferocity in his glare easily reminded Roman of a mother bear. “I- I do apologize for overstepping. My intentions were never to—”

Patton cut him off with a sharp sigh, and Roman quickly shut his mouth. “I don’t need you to explain, Captain. It’s not like I’m here to ban you from speaking to Virgil ever again.”

“Ah,” Roman said. “You’re not?”

“No, kiddo,” Patton assured, and for a moment he was back to the friendly traveler Roman had met in that tavern. “I wouldn’t do that to him.”

“Oh.”

“He was enjoying it,” Patton continued. “When you were holding him, I could see it in his eyes that he felt safe. But I know him. If he didn’t want to kiss you he’d have a hard time saying no, especially after the night he had.”

Roman’s cheeks burned, heat rising ruthlessly to his face, and he nodded sheepishly. “I know. I know it was- it was stupid of me.”

“It was,” Patton agreed. “You seem like a very nice young man, but I raised that boy, Roman. I’ve seen… I’ve seen a lot of not nice people do a lot of cruel things to him. I couldn’t protect him then, but I can now.”

Roman swallowed, Virgil’s fear and desperation replaying like a loop in his head, guilt rising in his chest. “I understand.”

“I don’t think you do.” Patton’s face hardened, and he took a staggeringly threatening step forward. “If you so much as lay a finger on Virgil without his very clear and enthusiastic consent, not one single person on this ship will ever find your body. Am I understood, Captain?”

Roman blinked, throat suddenly dry, feeling a bit like Patton had just dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. “I… uh. Okay. Yes, sir.”

“Oh, you can just call me Patton, kiddo!” Patton chirped. His smile was back, just as cheerful and genuine as before, and he quickly stepped out of the Captain’s space. “Come on, let’s not keep the others waiting.”

And with that Patton turned and made his way off the bridge to the dining hall without waiting for the Captain. Roman followed, slightly shell shocked, refusing to look at Logan for the rest of the morning.

Taglist:

@i-really-like-dragons @stitches-system @poettheythem @remy-the-lemon-berry @shrubs-and-bushes @i-sexually-identify-as-a-mistake @wordsmithandworm @the-dead-and-the-decaying @hope340 @winterwynd @thomas-sanders-tothe-standers @angstysunshine @sunshineandteddybears @pixelated-pineapple @fire-and-ash67

[avengerscompound]

Moving On - Chapter 4

Moving On: A Falcon & Captain Marvel Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Sam Wilson x F!Reader, Carol Danvers x F! Reader

Word Count:  2107

Rating:  E

Warnings:  Smut (MF, oral sex, vaginal sex, accidental exhibitionism/voyeurism)

Synopsis:  You thought Sam Wilson was the love of your life.  You had planned to do it all with him - marriage, kids, see the world.  Even when you’re life gets turned upside down, and you both end up international fugitives, he’s there by your side.

Then Thanos comes.

When Sam is one of the many turned to dust, leaving you alone and pregnant, you don’t think you’ll ever stop grieving.  Yet, everyone tells you that Sam would want you to move on and live your life - that he’d want you to be happy. Gradually you open your heart up to another.  Carol Danvers has lost people too.  First her daughter, then her wife.  As the two of you lean on each other, feelings grow and you move on together.

So what happens when Sam is returned to you?

Chapter 4: On the Run

It is strange how quickly your whole world can change.  One minute you’re planning a wedding and living in the Avengers Compound in Upstate New York, an official agent for the Avengers.  The next you’re considered a war criminal and you’re on the run with your fiance and three other people, one of them who happened to be Captain America.

It had been like a slow-motion car wreck watching everything go wrong.  First, there was a completely unnecessary fight against your friends in the airport because no one wanted to listen to each other.  Then you’d been arrested by people who you’d once considered not just friends, but family.  Then you’d been shipped off to some secret supermax prison in the ocean for enhanced individuals with no trial, even though you weren’t enhanced.  Then Steve Rogers had busted you out and you’d ended up on the run.

You were with Sam though, and you’d rather be with him on the run knowing you were on the right side of the fight than safe in New York alone.

You’d all been trying to make the most of your time working as vigilantes.  There had been a lot of alien tech ending up in the hands of criminal organizations and Steve had been leading your little band of merry men to go and get it back.

Things weren’t easy for any of you.  There was a lack of money coming in and everyone had had to quickly withdraw their entire savings before the government blocked all of their accounts.  Thankfully Steve’s pension from the army had accrued a lot since he’d been lost at sea, but he hadn’t been able to withdraw all of it.

It had meant that a lot of the income came down to you, as out of everyone - you were the least recognizable.  Yes, there were alerts out for you, but you were a spy - you knew how to disguise yourself and you knew where to find under-the-counter work when needed.

The trick was never staying in the same place for long and returning to countries that didn’t sign the accords.  Even those weren’t safe for long - Ross was not above sending people into countries illegally to detain people who he was hunting - Bruce Banner was a testament to that - but they were safe for a little while and meant that once a month rather than sleep in the stolen Quinn, you could splash out and get a hotel.  Although you were pretty sure that Wanda was often sleeping in hotels - with Vision most likely - anytime she said she needed to have some alone time.

You woke up and stretched on the cold metal floor of the Quinn, your spine popping loudly.  Sam shifted in close to you, his arm draping over your sternum and his hand resting on your neck so his fingertips lightly caressed your jaw.  “Was wondering when you were gonna wake up,” he murmured.

“Is it late?”  You asked, blinking your eyes in the dark of the jet.  There was light coming in through the cockpit window, but it was low and you couldn’t tell if that was because it was early or just overcast outside.

“Not particularly,” he said, his hand running down your neck and over your collarbone.  “You just normally sleep like shit in the Quin.”

“Who says I didn’t,” you grumbled, rolling in toward him, and breathing him in.  There was an acrid sting to his scent thanks to the fact that neither of you had showered for a few days.  You were all due for a trip to somewhere remote with beds and good water pressure.  Steve had said maybe going back to Wakanda for a few weeks was in order.  He didn’t like to go too often because T’Challa had already extended himself above and beyond anything that was fair to ask of him just by harboring Bucky.  But it had been over six months since any of you had been there, and you had accumulated a lot of alien technology that you knew Shuri would love to get her hands on.

Sam chuckled and his hands ran down to yours, linking your fingers together, and playing with the engagement ring that sat on your finger.  “What if we just get married in Wakanda?”

You looked up into his eyes.  They looked black in the dim light and when he smiled at you, the corners of them crinkled slightly.  “I’m not sure that’s what you really want,” you said.  “Don’t you want Sarah to be there?  And the kids?”

Sam frowned.  Sarah’s kids had been two and four years old when you’d gone on the run and every month that he missed of their lives hurt him.  He’d been sending money back to his sister to keep the family business running back when you’d both had actual jobs, but these days he was barely scraping by himself.

He sighed and nuzzled into your neck.  “I just want us to start our lives together.”

“I know, but life had other plans,” you said.  “I love you and I don’t need to get married to know that.  It’s not going to change anything.  We will still be on the run and we won’t be able to build a stable life and have kids.”

Sam sighed and leaned his forehead against you.  “I know, but I want you to be my wife.”

“I am your wife,” you said.

“Not legally,” he said.

“We don’t do anything legally at the moment,” you said, playfully.  When Sam didn’t laugh, you sighed and wrapped your arms around him.  “Sam,” you said.  “If you really want to get married in Wakanda, I’ll do it.  I’m sure I can get something nice to wear together, and Nat and Wanda can be my bridesmaids.  I’m sure given how close we’ve all gotten they would be who I’d have picked anyway.  Just like I know you’d have Steve be your best man.  But I know you.  This isn’t really what you want.  You want the big wedding down in Louisiana like you always planned.  With the catering done using fish that were caught by your family’s trawler and you want AJ and Cass to be our little ring bearers.  And I know… I know that if you do this - if we get married in Wakanda without Sarah, she’ll murder you. She will murder you and then disown you post humus.”

Sam started laughing.  “Yeah, she will.”

“Sam, I love you.  I’m yours, no matter what,” you said.

“I know,” he replied with a sigh.  “I know we’re doing the right thing now.  I mean - Tony can get all on his high horse about how important the accords were, but he still broke them immediately.  That fucking kid he brought to the fight is still breaking the accords and living his best life.  I just… I wish we could have both.”

“So do I,” you said.  “I hope they come around, but I’m scared that the thing that makes them realize how wrong they are is gonna be real bad.  Like; world-ending bad.”

“Yeah, me too,” Sam said.  “Which is why I’m doing this.”

“So, what do you want to do?  You asked.

“I guess… we can wait,” Sam relented.  “But maybe we can see if there’s any way we could do something small that we could sneak Sarah to?  Like … she goes to the Maldives and who just happens to be there getting married?”

“They’ll be watching her,” you said.

“Yeah, I know,” he said.  “But we can look into it.”

“Yeah, okay,” you agreed.  “We’ll look into it.”

Sam leaned in and kissed you deeply.  You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him down on top of you, so the full weight of his body pressed down on the cold metal floor of the jet.

Sam groaned softly and rolled his hips, his cock starting to harden against your thigh.  “Where’s Steve?” you mumbled against his lips as he continued to kiss you.  He was currently the only unknown factor as Wanda was on another of her ‘retreats’ and Natasha was dealing with some ‘personal things’ that she wouldn’t tell the rest of you about.  He pulled back and smirked down at you.  “Why?  You want him to watch?”

“No,” you giggled, smacking his arm.  “I want the opposite of that.”

Sam laughed and nuzzled at your neck, pushing his hands up under your sleep shirt. “On his morning run.  Just you and me, baby.”

You kissed him again - more frantic this time, and your hands dug into his shoulders.  Sam began to squeeze and massage your breast as he ground down against you, sending a warm buzz through your body.  He began to move down your body, taking his time to both undress you and kiss every part of you.  By the time he was crouched between your spread legs, your whole body prickled like a live wire.

He gripped your thigh with one hand and reached up and began massaging your breast with the other as he dipped his head down and began lapping at your cunt.  You moaned and arched your back, gripping his bicep with one hand as you reached over your head with the other.  A hot current ran through you as Sam focused on your clit, sucking and nipping at it as he squeezed your breast.  He moaned into your cunt, the sound sending vibrations through you.  You slowly fell apart under him, writhing as a coil of hot pleasure wound itself tightly in your core.  Sam thrust two of his fingers inside you, and as soon as they hit that sweet spot inside you you cried out loudly and came hard, your whole body shuddering as your orgasm crashed through you.

Sam sat up onto his knees and looked at you.  “Gonna have to be a little quieter,” he said tapping your thigh.  “Steve’s got pretty good hearing you know.”

You scrunched up your face.  “Maybe you need to gag me.”

Sam chuckled and bit his bottom lip as you got on our hands and knees.  Even on the bedroll, your knees were going to hate you after this, but right now you didn’t care at all.  Sam moved up behind you, held onto your hips, and thrust hard into you.  You stumbled forward a little but managed to catch yourself on the cargo trunk in front of you.  He began to fuck you hard immediately, not even waiting to steady yourself.  You cried out and clenched around him as it felt like a hot shard tore through you.

Sam leaned over you, kissing your neck and shoulder, as he put his hand over your mouth.  “Hush now,” he growled in your ear.  “You don’t want to wake up the whole forest.”

You moaned into his hand and opened your mouth, letting him push two of his fingers inside for you to suck on.  He railed into you, his hips moving quickly and erratically as your bodies slapped together.  You tried to bounce back on him, adding to the pleasure coursing through you, but it wasn’t long until your arms gave out and you were helpless under him as your orgasm built.

As his hips began to stutter, Sam wrapped his arm around your waist and began to rub your clit.  It was all it took for the dam inside you to burst.  You buried your face in your arm and cried out as you came, clenching around Sam’s cock.  He began to thrust even more erratically as he chased his own release and with a jerk and a low groan he came, releasing inside you.

You let yourself flop completely on the floor, breathing heavily and feeling a little high on endorphins.  “You think Steve is out there and heard us?”  You asked as Sam lay back down next to you and kissed your shoulder.

“Caught the tail end of the show!” Steve yelled, his voice muffled through the jet walls.

You and Sam both broke down into peels of laughter and you hid your face in Sam’s chest.

“Get a move on, would you?!” Steve yelled.  “We have a lot to do today.”

You laughed even harder and Sam held you close, pressing a kiss to your forehead.  “Come on, duty calls,” he chuckled.

You let him help you up and the two of you both started cleaning yourselves up the best way you could.  You hoped to god that Steve would say it was time for a break soon, but in the meantime, you were glad you were here with Sam.

// NEXT

[swan-of-sunrise]

Taking Care of Business (Chapter Five)

Summary: (Y/N) and Mando join forces with Cobb Vanth to kill a krayt dragon, and they attempt to get the townsfolk and the Tuskens to peacefully work together. What could possibly go wrong?

Pairing: Din Djarin X Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings/Disclaimers: None

A/N: I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter Five The Dragon (Previous Chapter)

When she made the decision to join the Mandalorian’s crew and help him fulfill his quest, (Y/N) knew that they’d frequently be encountering dangerous situations. However, she didn’t foresee one of them involving her and Mando having to help kill a krayt dragon to protect a settlement in the middle of the Dune Sea. Cobb Vanth, the Marshal of Mos Pelgo, had offered Mando a deal: if they helped him kill the krayt dragon, he’d give them the Mandalorian armor he’d been using for years to protect his people.

“Deal. (Y/N) can ride back to the ship and blow it out of the sand from the sky; we’ll stay and use the bantha as bait.”

Cobb looked away from Mando to shoot her an astounded smirk, to which she responded by raising a brow, daring him to challenge her piloting skills. Silently conceding, the marshal looked back at Mando with a grimace. “Not so simple. The ship passes above, it senses the vibrations and stays underground. But I know where it lives.”

“How far?”

“Not far.”

So, she and Mando had wrangled up the child before getting onto the speeder bike and following Cobb further into the desert. Sensing that the Mandalorian was still agitated about the marshal’s blatant disrespect of his people’s Creed, (Y/N) had allowed him to drive and resigned herself to sitting behind him on the bike. I suppose there’s worse ways to travel, she thought to herself with a faint blush as her arms tightened slightly around her partner’s waist, like on the back of a bantha or dewback.

“You two don’t understand what it was like,” Cobb interjected after about a half an hour of driving. “The town was on its last legs; it started after we got news of the Death Star blowin’ up…the second one, that is.” (Y/N) smiled to herself, a little pleased that someone else had realized just how idiotic the Empire had been to build two of those things, then turned her attention back to the marshal’s tale. “The Empire was blown out of Tatooine and there was blaster fire over Mos Eisley; the occupation was over. We didn’t even have time to celebrate. That very night, the mining collective moved in; power hates a vacuum and Mos Pelgo became a slave camp overnight…”

(Y/N) listened as the marshal detailed his escape from Mos Pelgo, how he’d stolen a camtono of silicax crystals and wandered the desert for days until being rescued by the Jawas. She felt Mando’s body stiffen as Cobb explained that he’d traded the crystals for the Mandalorian armor and returned to the town, ridding it of its enslavers and establishing himself as its marshal. Based on what he’d told them, (Y/N) decided that he was an honorable man just doing everything to keep his people safe; however, she knew that the silent Mandalorian sitting in front of her would take more time to win over.

That’s what Cobb Vanth must’ve thought as well; once he’d finished his story, he turned his attention to her instead of Mando. “So, what’s your story? How’d a smuggler end up workin’ with a Mandalorian?”

“How’d you know-?”

“Livin’ on Tatooine, I’ve met my fair share of hot-shot pilots.” His mouth stretched into a lopsided grin. “None as pretty as you, though.”

Feeling her face warm at his flirtatious tone, (Y/N) couldn’t help but smile back. “Well, Mando here asked me to join his crew after seeing my piloting skills firsthand. And I’m actually a former smuggler; I worked for the Rebellion but I retired from that life just after the New Republic was established.”

The two speeder bikes had just reached a rocky canyon and they reduced their speed in the narrowing ravine. It was then that Cobb glanced over at her with a raised brow. “I didn’t know they had smugglers workin’ in the Rebellion. What’d you smuggle for ‘em?”

(Y/N) hesitated for a moment, acutely aware that there was more than one person waiting to hear her reply. “I, um-”

Cobb signaled for them to halt right when a loud growling noise began echoing through the canyon; both speeder bikes came to a stop and all three took cover behind them as they drew their weapons. Not knowing what to expect, (Y/N) pulled the plaster rifle off her back and propped it up alongside Mando’s pulse rifle on the top of their speeder, furrowing her brow when the howling grew louder. Moments later, a massiff emerged from behind an outcropping of rock and was soon joined by several others. Instead of firing, Mando lowered his pulse rifle and let out a familiar-sounding growl of his own before walking around the bike and towards the creatures.

“What the hell’s he doin’?” Cobb whispered loudly, his look of surprise growing when (Y/N) got up from her crouch and slung her rifle back onto her shoulders. “What the-?”

She and Mando both raised a hand to calm the marshal down, and (Y/N) watched with an impressed smile as her partner knelt down and began petting the now-happy massiff. I guess Mando’s got a way with pets, she thought to herself, her smile widening when she noticed several Tuskens emerge from behind the rocks. (Y/N) had enjoyed sharing camp with the Tuskens the night before; they’d been pleasant hosts, and she’d truly loved learning more about their culture while teaching them a little of her own.

(Y/N) glanced over at Cobb while Mando conversed with the Tuskens, her smile faltering a little as she took in his hardened expression; and when Mando informed them that the Tuskens also wanted to kill the krayt dragon, a feeling of foreboding settled in the pit of her stomach.

As night was beginning to fall, the Tuskens led the three of them to their settlement and allowed them to stay in two of their tents. (Y/N) thanked them for their hospitality using the hand gestures she’d picked up from Mando, pleased that she was still able to remember them but before she could make her way over to the Tusken’s campfire, Mando stopped her.

“Word travels fast on the Dune Sea; they already know about your peaceful encounter with the other clan of Tuskens yesterday. It’s Vanth who needs to earn their trust tonight.” Mando explained, his voice becoming a little gruffer when he mentioned the marshal’s name before quietly continuing. “Why don’t you and the child get some rest, alor’ad? I know it’s early but we’ll be traveling to the lair at first light and you’ll need your strength if you’re gonna help us kill a krayt dragon…”

(Y/N) relented, taking the child from Mando and crouching into their tent as she stifled tired yawns behind her hand; settling down in her bedroll, she drifted in and out of sleep, glancing over where the child was soundly sleeping every once in a while to see if he was all right. The little guy must be growing on you, she thought with a small smile, closing her eyes and rolling over to face the tent entrance.

A sudden sound caused (Y/N)’s eyes to snap open and in an instant, her blaster was in her hand and pointed directly at the Mandalorian’s head; realizing it was only her partner, she lowered her blaster with widened eyes. “Oh! I’m so sorry, Mando, I thought that-!”

“It’s okay, you shouldn’t apologize for having a quick reflex.” Mando replied, entering the tent and sitting down on top of his bedroll. “It’s good that you’re up; the Tuskens are going to take us to the lair tomorrow, but they’re insisting we travel in a small number and only scout the area. Will you be all right staying here with the kid while we go?”

She smiled, tucking her blaster back under her pillow. “Sure, that sounds okay. I guess that means you’ll be traveling with Vanth by yourself, huh?”

Nodding, Mando glanced over at the sleeping child before looking back at her. “I don’t trust him. He picked a fight with the Tuskens earlier, and he was asking a lot of questions about your Rebellion days.”

“Well, he was born and raised on Tatooine; he’s probably been told all his life that the Tuskens are the monsters. And as for the questions…well, most people don’t know that the Rebels recruited smugglers to their cause and then once they learn, they always assume that I was only working with the Alliance for monetary reasons. But I don’t mind.” Shrugging, (Y/N) laid back down on her bedroll, resting her hands on her stomach as she stared up at the ceiling of the tent. “Better to let them assume than to re-open any old wounds by explaining. Does that make any sense?”

The Mandalorian was silent for a moment and when he answered, his voice sounded softer than usual. “Yeah…yeah, it does.”

“So, um, what’s the story with the little guy?” (Y/N) asked, eager to change the subject but also curious about the child’s background. “When you say we’re returning him to his kind, do you mean his species or maybe his family…?”

She heard Mando lay down on his own bedroll. “The child is…special. He has many abilities, and he belongs with a race of sorcerers called Jedi.”

“Jedi?” (Y/N)’s sleepy eyes widened and she rolled over to look at the Mandalorian. “I thought that they were just myths!”

“You’ve heard of the Jedi before?”

“My mother used to tell me stories about them when I was a child on Naboo, but I didn’t…” She trailed off, feeling his gaze from behind the visor of his helmet. “I always thought they were fairytales.”

Mando nodded eagerly. “Do you remember anything about your mother’s stories? Anything at all?”

“All I remember is that the Jedi were supposed to have been the guardians of the peace but if that were true, then the Empire never would’ve happened.” (Y/N) snorted, laying back down and frowning a little as she sensed her partner’s disappointment. “That doesn’t really help us, though.”

“Well, it’s one thing I didn’t know before, so I’d say it was a little helpful.” The Mandalorian offered. “We should get some rest; we’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, it quickly became apparent that they were in for more than what they’d originally bargained for. (Y/N) stayed at the Tusken settlement with the child while Mando, Cobb and a handful of Tuskens traveled by bantha the short distance to the krayt dragon’s lair. To pass the time, she’d mended some of their clothing and cleaned her borrowed blaster rifle, knowing that she would soon be needing it.

When the others returned, Mando explained their plan to recruit the villagers of Mos Pelgo to aid in the attack against the creature before they headed back to the town. (Y/N) hadn’t said anything out loud, but she was wary of their new plan; it essentially hinged on the ability of two warring peoples to set aside their differences in order to defeat a common enemy, and while (Y/N) had no problem working alongside the Tuskens, she knew that the villagers would have a very different opinion than her. Now I definitely have a bad feeling about all this, she thought as she parked the speeder alongside Cobb’s in front of the cantina.

“They attacked us less than a year ago, killed half a dozen of us by the mining camp. I’d say I took down about twice as many Tuskens.” Cobb got up from his speeder, a fresh look of guilt on his face.

“The town respects you.” Mando pointed out as (Y/N) hopped off their speeder and dusted off her clothes. “My guess is they’ll listen to reason.”

(Y/N) nodded and offered the marshal a brief smile. “If the Tuskens are willing to put the past aside, then I don’t see why your people can’t find it within themselves to do the same.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

A doubtful-looking Cobb quickly gathered the town into the cantina and it went about as well as she’d feared it would; after explaining the entire situation to the villagers they reluctantly agreed to the deal the Tuskens had offered, that in exchange for their help and the carcass of the creature, they would unite with them in battle and never attack Mos Pelgo until a villager breaks the peace. Tension filled the air as the Tuskens arrived to help with the preparations and it went fairly quickly, save for one brief moment of unrest between a Tusken and a villager. But in no time, they were slowly on their way to the krayt dragon’s lair with the villagers and explosives in tow.

With the suns high in the sky, (Y/N) stood between Mando and Cobb as they carefully watched a lone Tusken make his way to the large cave entrance and place his hands on the ground before it; after several terse moments, the Tusken straightened and signed a message with his hands.

“What did he say?” (Y/N) quietly asked, the hand holding the blaster rifle’s strap tightening with anticipation.

“He says it’s sleeping. If we listen carefully, we can hear it breathing.”

(Y/N) glanced over at Cobb beside her, shrugging and watching as another Tusken offered him a familiar-looking green object; she gave the marshal an expectant smile that widened when he lifted the object and drank the sour liquid, finally accepting the Tusken’s gesture of peace and good faith.

After receiving their instructions from the Mandalorian, they got to work as quietly as they could. (Y/N) removed her cowl before grabbing a shovel and helping the others dig the shallow hole that they’d bury the explosives in; the muscles in her arms were aching in protest by the time the hole was finished, but she hid her pain as she walked up to Mando and Cobb with a smile.

“Ready when you are, fellas.”

Mando nodded and moved forward to watch the Tuskens approach the mouth of the cave, leaving Cobb to walk alongside her as he flashed her a lopsided grin. “How ‘bout a kiss for luck from a pretty lady?”

(Y/N) only rolled her eyes and raised a brow in amusement at his flirting attempt. “How about we focus on killing a krayt dragon and not dying instead, Marshal?”

“Worth a shot.” Cobb shrugged as they stood alongside Mando on the rocky ridge overlooking the villagers and Tuskens. They watched as three Tuskens slowly made their way to the cave and stopped, hesitating a brief moment before loudly calling out; their grunts and growls echoed throughout the rocky canyon and just as they had begun to fade, the growling of a large creature called back. All three Tuskens turned and ran, and the krayt dragon burst out of the cave in an explosion of sand; its roar shook the ground, and (Y/N)’s jaw nearly dropped when she realized just how massive the creature was.

Beside her, Mando pulled out his scope and all three of them watched the Tuskens and the villagers enact their plan; they fired the harpoons they’d built to pull the creature from its cave, but it quickly became clear that it wasn’t working when the krayt dragon reared its head back and tried tugging itself loose from its captors. “Dank farrik, it’s going back in; it’s retreating.”

Cobb gripped the detonator in his hand, his thumb hovering over the button. “I’m gonna hit it.”

“No, wait. We only have one shot; we’ve gotta get it out.”

Following the others lead, (Y/N) slung the blaster rifle off her shoulder and quickly aimed before firing at the creature, her precise shots joining the blaster bolts and small explosives hitting its thick hide. Their actions enraged the krayt dragon, which charged forward and forced the others to run for cover.

“Now?” Cobb asked, his jaw tightening as he watched his village continue its assault on the creature.

Mando shook his head. “Not yet. It’s gotta come out further.”

But as he spoke, the krayt dragon finally pulled itself free of the harpoons with a deafening roar, throwing Tuskens high into the air before opening its mouth and spewing acid onto a group of retreating Tuskens and villagers.

Both Mando and Cobb stiffened at the sight, and (Y/N) heard herself breathe out, “Oh, Maker.”

The creature continued forward after its attackers, and Mando held up a tense hand. “Almost, almost…now!”

The marshal’s thumb smashed down on the button and the explosives went off, sending a massive cloud of dust up with a blast of air as the creature roared and vanished from view. (Y/N) lowered her blaster to shield her face from the sand-filled wind, looking up as the dust began to settle and frowning when she noticed the empty patch of ground.

“I don’t think it’s dead.”

“Me either.”

(Y/N) merely bit her lip and watched as the Tuskens and villagers looked around in confusion, an unsettling feeling forming in the pit of her stomach. Suddenly, the krayt dragon exploded out of the rocky ridge high above the entrance of the cave with an ear-splitting growl and began spewing more acid onto the panicked crowd below.

Cobb’s face twisted in fury. “It’s pickin’ us off like womp rats.” He suddenly turned and grabbed his blaster rifle off his speeder. “Let’s get after it!”

Mando turned to look at her and she nodded, already knowing exactly what the two of them had in mind; he hurried over and grabbed his pulse rifle, rushing back to her and wrapping his free arm tightly around her waist. He barely gave her enough time to latch onto him before activating his jetpack and shooting up into the air, flying fast towards where the creature was emerging from the rocks. Yeah, I think I prefer flying in an actual ship, (Y/N) barely had time to think, landing roughly beside Mando and Cobb on the side of the ridge and immediately joining them as they fired their weapons at the side of the creature’s head.

“This ain’t doin’ a thing!”

“Yeah, I have to agree with the marshal on this one!” (Y/N) yelled, watching as their shots bounced off its thick hide.

Reloading his pulse rifle, Mando loudly replied, “Just keep shooting!”

The three of them continued firing their weapons and after a few moments, the krayt dragon seemed to finally notice their presence; it let out another roar and moved its head towards them, but the Mandalorian grabbed her around the waist again and they flew out of the way just as it bit down on the rocky ridge. They flew down to the ground in front of the cave entrance and spun around, their weapons at the ready, but the creature had disappeared once again.

“Dank farrik…” (Y/N) murmured under her breath, her grip on her blaster rifle tightening as she waited for the krayt dragon to re-emerge; she didn’t have very long to wait. They quickly turned as the creature appeared from the sand dunes behind them and lunged forward, narrowly missing a cluster of escaping Tuskens and villagers.

“There he is.” Mando spoke under his breath, his modulated voice steady despite the dire situation. He glanced past (Y/N) to Cobb with a nod. “I’ve got an idea. Get it’s attention.”

Without hesitation, the marshal leaned forward and activated the missile strapped to his back; it hit the creature with a fiery explosion, causing it to shriek in anger and change its course, charging through the sand in their direction. “I got its attention! Now what?”

“You still have that detonator?”

Cobb unclipped it from his belt and reached past (Y/N) to hand it over. “Take it!”

“Wait, what’s the plan, Mando?” (Y/N) frowned, trying in vain to piece together what her partner was planning on doing.

Mando turned his head to look at her. “You’re gonna take care of the child.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know but wish me luck!” Before (Y/N) could realize what was happening, Mando pushed her into Cobb’s arms and as she instinctively brought her arms up around the marshal’s shoulders, he slammed the butt of his pulse rifle into his jetpack and they shot high up into the air. Clutching tightly to Cobb as they zigzagged through the sky, (Y/N) had just enough time to glance over and see the krayt dragon swallow Mando and a bantha whole before they landed hard on the ground.

Quickly sitting up, (Y/N) stared at the spot the Mandalorian had been with her jaw dropped in horror. She couldn’t move or speak and beside her, Cobb ripped off his helmet to reveal an equally-stunned face; before either of them could say anything, the ground began to rumble beneath them once again. (Y/N) grabbed her blaster rifle just as the krayt dragon re-emerged from the ground, its jaw widening to release a mighty roar, but just as she was preparing to fire on it, a familiar beskar-clad figure flew out of its mouth and was followed by the electric-blue shockwaves of a pulse rifle.

“That son of a mud-scuffer…” (Y/N) breathed out, watching through her rifle’s scope in amazement as the Mandalorian pressed down on the detonator and set off the explosives within the creature. With one last ear-splitting scream, the krayt dragon collapsed to the ground in a cloud of sand and dust, finally defeated.

She and Cobb shielded their faces as a strong gust of wind blasted them, looking up in time to watch Mando land on the ground in front of the creature’s carcass. (Y/N) glanced over at the marshal and they shared a disbelieving grin, clambering to their feet while the cheers of Tuskens and villagers filled the air.

(Y/N)’s leg twinged in protest when she stood but she ignored the pain as she and Cobb hurried over to where Mando stood; his armor was dripping with the creature’s green stomach acid and his chest was heaving with labored breaths, but to her he looked incredible.

“You’ve gotta be the craziest kriffing man I’ve ever met!” (Y/N) exclaimed, looking over her partner for any serious signs of injury and grinning when he merely shrugged his shoulders. “Keep pulling stunts like that and you might just change my low opinion of ex-bounty hunters.”

Mando chuckled between breaths, the sound causing her heart to warm in her chest. “I’ll keep that in mind, alor’ad.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading!

Mando'a Translations: Alor'ad-Captain

Chapter Six

Taking Care of Business Masterlist

Tagging: @remmysbounty​ @sinon36​ @seninjakitey​ @thatonedindjarinfan​ @ginger-swag-rapunzel​ @mostclevermiss​ @momc95​ @welcometothepedroverse​ @sarahjkl82-blog​ @zukoyonce​ @itsnottilly​

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Out Of Time ~ 115

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,010ish

Summary: Y/N is struggling to cope with everything. (Hopefully this chapter makes sense.)

Needing to get back to Talbot, Coulson took Fitz-Simmons with him, leaving Y/N in the hands of Mack and Yo-Yo, while May started searching for a place where they could keep Y/N safe. Simmons had given Y/N something to help her sleep before she left, allowing Y/N to get some rest. 

Talbot wasn’t happy that Coulson had left him but willingly listened as Coulson and Fitz-Simmons fully explained the situation with Hive and Daisy. As they did so, Talbot’s phone buzzed. He glanced down at the message, unhappy with what he was reading.

“I need you to cut the shit now, Coulson,” Talbot interrupted. “I’ve just been informed that Y/N Rogers is missing. And having not signed the Accords and being enhanced that means she’s a fugitive, like her brother. Where is she?”

“We don’t know,” Coulson quickly lied, holding a steady poker face. “She hasn’t reach out. And if she’s smart, like I believe she is, then she won’t.”

Talbot stepped up into Coulson’s face. “If I find out Rogers here, SHIELD’s done for.”

“She’s not. All cards on the table. Besides, our focus should be on stopping Hive, not searching for Y/N. She wasn’t even apart of the fight in Germany. I saw the footage myself.”

“Okay then, what do you have for stopping him?”

“We’re exploring some options.”

“Options? That’s what you’ve got? You told me this thing could take out an entire planet. I got an option for ya, a preemptive strike. This isn’t a job for SHIELD. This a job for the United States military.”

“You want to make that call? Go ahead. But you’ll probably lose them at ‘devil’.”

“Do you think I’m an idiot?” Talbot signaled for Coulson to not answer that before turning around and sighing. “Wouldn’t tell them the truth.” 

“Even if they could be convinced, by the time we dealt with all their second guessing and red tape, whatever Hive’s planning would already be done.”

“We shouldn’t act without knowing the last piece of the puzzle,” Fitz said. “Hive and his hole-in-the-wall gang recently stole something from an ATCU facility in Indiana. Till we find out where that is…”

“Acting without all the information could make things worse,” Simmons added. “It could be what Hive wants. He was the only thing to survive on that planet, and he survived for a reason.”

“So what do you want me to do?” Talbot asked.

“Trust us,” Coulson replied. 

Fitz’s tablet beeped, causing all of them to come around and look at it.

  “Oh, Daisy’s back in the system,” Fitz stated. “She circumnavigated the anti-subversion code and gained access to Lincoln.” 

Fitz quickly pulled up the feed to Lincoln’s cell. He was seemingly asleep.

“That boy sure sleeps a lot,” Talbot commented.

“Unless…” Fitz muttered, playing with the video.

“It’s a pre-recorded loop,” Simmons stated.

~~~

“I didn’t know we had an Avenger on the team,” Yo-Yo commented as Mack watched over Y/N.

“Yeah…” Mack sighed. “Coulson likes to keep that on the down low. For her safety and ours.”

“When was the last time any of you saw her?”

“It’s been months with no contact. Honestly, I thought she was doing better than this. Guess I was wrong… no one should know how it feels to lose a child. No one.”

Yo-Yo watched Mack carefully. She knew that he was hiding something but wasn’t ready to pry just yet.

“I’m going to go get a drink,” she said. “Do you want anything?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I’m good.”

She nodded, watching him a little while longer before taking her leave. Mack sighed again before slowly setting his hand on top of hers. 

“I don’t know if you can hear me, Y/N/N, but I lost a child too,” he said quietly. “Her name was Hope. She lived to be four days old… so I understand a bit of what you’re going through and I’m sorry.”

Suddenly, the base’s emergency alarm started sounding. It was loud enough to break Y/N from her sleep.

“Wh-what’s happen—ing?” She croaked, unable to focus.

“I don’t know, Y/N,” Mack said, standing. “But I’ll find out.” He went to leave and that’s when Y/N realized he was the only one in there with her.

“No! Please… don’t go…”

“If the base is in trouble, I have to see if they need help. I’ll be back as soon as I can or send someone for you, alright?” He turned again to leave.

“Mack…” He paused at the door, waiting for her to continue. “What happened to you?”

He sighed as you continued to take in his bruises and arm in a sling. “Daisy happened.”

~~~

Y/N was struggling to stay still, the alarm had just stopped and she wanted to see if her friends were okay. Getting out of bed was the easy part, it was walking that took a lot of her energy. She stumbled out of the room and walked along the walls, leaning into them. Following her gut, Y/N made her way to the common room. There she saw General Talbot, Coulson, Fitz, Lincoln, May, Simmons, Mack, and a new girl standing around the table. She leaned against a pillar, out of sight from the others.

“We knew Daisy was listening and monitoring our every move,” Lincoln explained. “So we couldn’t tell anyone. She had to believe it was all real.”

“I communicated with him by leaving messages on his food trays,” May stated.

“You forgot the message about not hurting his friend,” the new girl said.

“Sorry, Mack,” Lincoln said. “I didn’t have any other option.”

“Mack wasn’t supposed to be there,” May replied, giving him a knowing look.

“Excuse me for doing my job,” Mack said.

“The plan depended on Daisy listening to everything so that she’s trust me and believe that I really wanted out,” Lincoln continued. 

“You had me fooled,” Talbot commented.

“Even though I wanted to, I never trusted Daisy… not under Hive’s control. I knew that she wouldn’t be the one to greet me, no matter what she said.”

“But what about the other risks? Lash could kill Daisy,” Mack stated. “Did you stop to think about that?”

Hive? Lash? Daisy under someone’s control? All of this was confusing Y/N, but really only because she couldn’t really focus fully. Her brain was all a mess.

“It’s a risk we had to take,” Lincoln said. “But he had the opportunity once before, and he let her go. I don’t think he’s meant to kill her.”

“Who put him on the Quinjet?” Talbot asked.

“I did,” May answered, “while Coulson was keeping you distracted.”

“You knew about this?”

“I run a tight ship,” Coulson replied.

“Why do you think this Lash can defeat Hive? And who in tarnation names these things?”

“Every Inhuman is here for a reason and serves a purpose,” Lincoln explained. “I believe Lash’s purpose is to kill Hive.”

“Now, we just wait and see what happens,” Coulson said.

“Right,” Talbot agreed with a nod.

Everyone began heading out. Y/N, too weak to form a portal, slid down the pillar, slowly losing consciousness. She heard footsteps coming towards her.

“Shit,” Mack muttered as he found her like that. “I need a little help over here!”

Everyone, including Talbot raced over.

“Oh my—“

“I thought you said you didn’t know where Y/N was, Coulson?” Talbot said. “You’ve been lying.”

“I’ve had to,” Coulson defended. “Look at her. She’s not a harm to anyone.”

“She needs to be in government custody and to—“

“She needs to be here! She’s been through—going through a trauma. She is staying here.”

“You don’t get to make that call, Coulson.”

“But I do. Because, right now, I’m pretty sure I’m the only family Y/N has left.” 

Fitz lifted her off the ground, with Lincoln and Simmons checking her over. Talbot looked over and watched.

“Do you know what happened?” Talbot asked, eyes not leaving Y/N.

“Not much,” Coulson answered. “Only that she lost her child.” Talbot’s head snapped to look at Coulson. “Y/N was pregnant, but she—“

“Isn’t anymore. I got that.” 

Talbot looked back at Y/N. Fitz was still holding her close as Simmons and Lincoln fretted over her. The rest of them watched Talbot, wondering what he was going to do.

“I only have one kid,” Talbot said. “My wife has had 6 miscarriages…. You can take care of her, but once she’s back to full health, she’s the governments.”

“Let’s get her to the med bay,” Simmons suggested.

They rushed Y/N to the med bay, quickly getting her set up and comfortable there. Coulson took his spot at her side. If Tony, Steve, and Bucky weren’t allowed to be here, he was going to make sure that she knew someone was on her side. Coulson observed her and wondered what could have happened in the last week. There was a light bruise of a handprint on her neck and dark purple bags forming under her eyes. It pained him to think about what she was going through, with the loss of seemingly her whole life.

“We still haven’t heard anything about Daisy,” May stated, entering the part of the lab Y/N and Coulson were in. “How is she?”

“Stable,” Coulson answered, keeping his focus on Y/N, “for now… I keep wondering… what the hell happened? The team fell apart and it left her like this. I don’t know if I want to know exactly what happened.”

“She’ll bounce back. Y/N always does.”

“But what if she doesn’t this time? What if this is the thing that breaks her? She lost her child, May. Then found her way here instead of with Tony or Steve.”

“Y/N knows she’s always welcome here. She was smart to come here.”

“What do you think—“

“Ragtag base, come in,” Daisy’s voice came over the bases PA system. “This is Agent Daisy Johnson… I’m coming home. Repeat… I’m coming home.”

~~~

Coulson ordered two agents to greet Daisy in the hanger and cuff her, just in case. They all, except Y/N, waited at the base’s door to the hanger. When Daisy walked in, they could tell she had been through a lot. She didn’t look well and she was leaning on one of the agents for support.

“Welcome back, Agent Johnson,” Coulson greeted, solemnly. Daisy glanced up, her eyes filling with tears.

“It’s good to see you,” Lincoln said.

She breathed shakily, letting a tear run down her cheek. “Lash died trying to save me,” she stated sadly, unable to look anyone in the face as she said it.

“Did he manage to kill Hive?” Talbot asked. Daisy shook her head.

“Get her to the med bay,” Simmons directed. The agents led her away.

“What if Lash wasn’t here to kill Hive?” Fitz asked.

“He was here to save Daisy,” Lincoln said.

“That wasn’t Lash,” Simmons said. “That was Dr. Garner.”

The group followed after Daisy and the other agents. They watched at Daisy’s steps faltered as she entered the med bay.

“Y/N?” Daisy gasped. “Wh—what happened?”

“You need to sit down,” Simmons directed, guiding her to a separate glass room.

“But… when? I—I didn’t notice….”

“May found her in a closet,” Fitz responded as Daisy sat on the bed and Simmons started working. “She… she, uh…”

“She’s been through a lot,” Simmons said. “She’ll be fine after some heavy rest.” She turned to a lab tech. “Prep for immediate blood transfusion and full cranial scan.”

Outside of the glass room, Coulson, Talbot, Yo-Yo, and Mack were watching.

“How do we know this isn’t a trap?” Talbot asked. “That she isn’t under Hive’s voodoo spell?”

“We’ll know soon enough,” Coulson answered. 

“In the meantime… have a little faith,” Mack added.

~~~

Coulson waited for news about Daisy at Y/N’s side. When the results were back, Simmons called him out into the lab.

“Daisy is completely sway free,” Simmons stated. “Her brain is back to normal. But she is suffering withdrawal symptoms from the effects of the sway. It’ll take some time. She’s resting now, recovering from that and the blood loss, but we do expect a full recovery.”

“Nobody goes in there until I say,” Coulson ordered. “But that’s good news.” He watched Simmons. “I know that look. That means there’s bad news, too. What is it?”

“Dr. Fitz?” She turned to him.

“Well, this is purely hypothetical,” Fitz began, “and there are a lot of unknown variables, but…”

“Based on what Daisy told us about Hive’s new pathogen—“

“We think we know what he plans to do with it.” Fitz pulled up a simulation on the computer. “If he can create some short of shock wave, then Hive could potentially infect a significant percentage of the human race, turning them all into the swayed Primitive Inhumans that Daisy described—“

“If and only if he finds a way to disperse it high enough in the atmosphere.”

“Yeah.”

“He has a way,” Talbot stated quietly. “That thing he stole from the ATCU in Indiana. It was a warhead… a fully operational warhead.”

~~~

Simmons walked into the containment module that was connected to the cell Daisy was being kept in.

“I’ve told you everything I know,” Daisy said quietly.

“I’m here to provide progress updates based on the intel you gave us… nothing more,” Simmons responded.

“And they only send you. Why?”

“If anything I tell you jogs any memories, any pertinent information at all, I'll ask you to divulge.”

“It’s because you’re the only one I didn’t hurt… personally, I mean. That’s why. You and… Y/N. How is she?”

“Have you thought of any new pertinent information?”

Daisy sighed, leaning back into the couch she was sitting on. “As I said, Hive’s followers tell him everything, but he rarely returns the favor. I’m sorry that’s not enough to act on.”

“Well, we are acting on a new lead.” Daisy turned her head to look at Simmons. “We’re located a US missile silo in the Pacific. Seems like a good fit.”

“If that’s where they plan to do it, they’ll be there ahead of you.”

“Yes. The silo’s staff went silent five hours ago.”

“Even if you infiltrate, you can’t shut down the launch… not without government Kill Codes.”

“We are aware."

“Had-delivered by a DOD official. It’s not hackable. You won’t be—“

“We are aware. The only thing you gave us that didn’t pan out was that word. You said he mentioned ‘absolution’. Any idea what he meant?”

Daisy barely shook her head with a shrug. “He thinks he’s the savior…. Just… answer this one question for me, Jemma. Please… how is she?”

Simmons sighed, debating on whether or not to say something. “Y/N… she’s awake, but… she’s not really here. She hasn’t said anything since she woke up. She won’t eat. She just stares off into space and sleeps.”

Daisy stood up and walked over to the windows Simmons was standing at. “No one will tell me what happened.”

“Cause we don’t know the full story… it’s also not our story to tell.”

~~~

Nothing felt right to Y/N. Even just being in her body felt completely awful. And she had no energy, to talk, to eat. She knew that she was being fed through the IV’s connected to her. But, to her, there was nothing left to fight for. Y/N had lost everything… and it was her fault, just as much as it was everyone else’s. At least, that’s what she thought.

She could tell that there was a mission going on, another end of the world scenario. But she didn’t have any more fight left in her. There was nothing left. So Y/N slept and stared off into space, beating herself over the life she knew, the life she lost. She didn’t even know how long it had been since she arrived back at the base and she didn’t care.

The team had captured Hive, but were still tracking down his people. His people were still planning to release a substance over most of the earth to turn people into Inhumans. Every member on the team was busy, but they each made an effort to check in on Y/N every now and then.

“Hey,” Coulson came into the med bay room, “I brought you some things.” He held up a bag, but Y/N didn’t bother looking his way. “Your favorite snacks, a few books I’ve bought but have had no time to read, a tablet for you to whatever you want with.” He set the bag on a table beside her bed before sitting next to her. “Is there anything I can help you with?” No answer.  “Or at least tell me what self deprecating thoughts are running through that brain of yours?” No answer, yet again. “Y/N, this isn’t your fault. Nothing of what happened is your fault. You didn’t—“

“I killed my baby….” Y/N replied, just above a whisper. “How is that not my fault?” She finally turned her head to face him. “My baby’s dead… because of me…”

“That’s not true.” Coulson shook his head. “You were under a lot of stress. More than anyone should—“

“Doesn’t matter. It’s still my fault… I should have tried harder to protect my family…. It’s always my fault…” She turned her head away again.

“Y/N, I need you to listen very carefully. Nothing of what happened to your baby and to the Avengers is all your fault. That’s not out things work… you didn’t force anyone to sign or not sign the Accords. You didn’t force them to fight. That stress was put on you, that’s not your fault.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I wish I could believe you… but, I’m sorry, Phil…. It is my fault.”

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2​. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

[schrijverr]

Solidarity

This is about enby he/they Jon, who wants to wear a skirt to work, because they’re comfy. He confides in Tim, who agrees to help them. He does so by dyeing his hair purple.

It is completely based on the art of @fox-guardian, their Tim and all other TMA designs live in my mind rent free, so go check them out! The designs I used will also be linked in text for a better mental image

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none really, but tell me if I missed something or if you want me to tag anything!

A/N: this is my first time writing someone with multiple pronouns, if I can improve feel free to tell me, no obligations of course :D

~~~~~~~~

Jon was nervous, he was almost always nervous, but they had an impeccable mask. However, today he was even more nervous and it was showing through the cracks. They had finally put a non-binary flag sticker on his laptop.

They weren’t about to tell everyone at the office about it, the he/him pronouns for work suited them just fine for now and he didn’t want to go through the effort of explaining he/they pronouns to everyone, the flag was just for them.

Georgie had given him the sticker when they had come out to her. They lost contact soon after, but Jon had always appreciated the gesture. Until now he had been too afraid to stick it on something, because what if that object didn’t last and they wasted the sticker on that?

But now he had a brand new laptop and in a wave of courage they had put the sticker on it.

A decision he was now regretting, since they were walking into work and anyone could see it. Of course, the people who knew what the flag meant, would most likely be chill with it, but anyone would recognize it as a pride flag, even if they might not know which one.

He had tried to convince themself it didn’t matter, he was proud of who they were, had been for a long while.

But it was still scary.

They sighed and pushed open the door, quickly making his way to their desk where he tried to make the flag less noticeable by reorganizing their desk.

Luck was not on his side, however, because Tim made his way over to them. He greeted him and Tim smiled back: “Hi there, Jon. What are you reorganizing for? Trying to get that archivist job, ey?”

Jon couldn't help it, they froze. His hands stilled as they tried to come up with an excuse, but nothing came out. He just stared at Tim and waved their hands around helplessly. His actions made Tim frown and he asked: “Hey, is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything's fine, Tim.” Jon answered, before, with a stroke of genius (not), they pushed a stack of paper in front of the flag.

The paper stack wasn’t near high enough to cover it and all it did was call attention to what Jon had been trying to hide. He cringed and looked at Tim to try and gauge his reaction to the sticker.

Tim glanced over and spotted the sticker, a look of understanding coming over his face. He could see the light fear in Jons eyes, so he went for a disarming smile as he said: “That’s cool. I, myself, am the B of the beautiful alphabet soup. Want me to change pronouns for you?”

Jon practically sagged with relief, their heart beginning to slow down again and he said: “No, I just use he/him in a professional setting, but, uhm, you know, thank you.”

“No problem.” Tim smiled, “Always good to know you’re not alone, right? Solidarity and all that.”

“Yeah.” Jon shyly returned the smile.

Later that day Tim ‘accidentally’ left his mug in front of the flag when he was talking to Jon and the next day a three striped flag could be found on Tims laptop. It wasn’t much, but it was support and that was comforting.

In the privacy of their own home Jon put on a skirt, he liked dressing like, what Georgie called, an elderly librarian, but it was comfortable and they wished he was comfortable enough to wear it to work.

They shook the thought off, no use in dwelling on the possibilities, after all, but it remained there in the back of his mind.

The next time they thought about it seriously, was when he actually got promoted. It came to them again when he realized that the Archives were mostly hidden away in the basement and didn’t get a lot of traffic. Wearing a skirt there was much less high risk, besides they would be working with Tim and Sasha, they both knew, and he had thought they’d seen a trans flag as the background for that annoying other guy, Martin, he thought his name was.

Still, they would have to walk through the building for a bit first, past the front desk in the main entrance hall and while Rosie was a sweet lady, she a nosy one too.

Jon shoved the thought away, but this time it fought harder when he tried to let go of it. They thought of it when his pants felt tight around their legs, when his tie wrapped around their throat and whenever Sasha walked past in a dress.

A few weeks into the organization of the Archives, Jon had made up his mind. They were gonna wear a skirt, but first he needed to be sure they would have at least one ally on his side.

They casually held back Tim at the end of the day. He looked surprised and asked: “Hey, what’s up boss?”

“Uhm, can I- can I ask you something?” Jon began.

He didn’t know if it was the body language or the hesitation that put Tim on high alert, but he straightened up a bit and answered: “Of course, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, per say.” they said, “I just have this idea, but before I do it, I want to ensure that I have someone taller to hide behind in case it goes wrong.”

“That is not helping, Jon. Is it those statements? Sasha says they’re all weird, they’re not getting to you too, are they?” Tim replied.

“Oh no, not at all. You know I don’t belief that nonsense.” Jon quickly assured him, then he hunched a bit over and mumbled: “I was just just thinking of wearing a skirt to work, since they’re comfortable, but, you know?”

They looked up and hoped Tim would understand. He saw how Tims concerned expression morphed into understanding, then his eyes glittered, before he got excited. He grinned: “I got the perfect idea, I will 100% cover you, boss. Just wait and I’ll text you when you can do it, alright? I got a plan.”

“Wha-? What’s the plan? Tim? Tim!” Tim was already gone.

Jon spend the next few days nervously. They had asked Tim a few times, but he had been waved away with a ‘don’t worry’ or a ‘you’ll see.’

Then on Tuesday morning, they got a text from Tim, simply reading: It’s time, meet me near the gates at 8:45.

Not wanting to stand outside in the outfit on his own for a while, Jon made sure to be there precisely on time and not a second later.

He had chosen a comfort outfit, since they suspected he was going to need it today. It was a long dark grey skirt, which they had paired with green socks, dress shoes with a small heel, an old green cardigan and his Mechanisms shirt.

They hadn’t even stood there for five seconds when a familiar voice called out: “Here, Jon!”

Looking over he saw Tim, but now with lilac hair that matched a sweater and a dress shirt he wore as much as possible. Right now it was a sweater day, he grinned when he saw Jons shocked face and ran up to them.

“A distraction, at your service, boss.” Tim did a lazy salute, before he started to lead Jon inside.

Jon was speechless for a moment, then they said: “You didn’t have to do all that for me, isn’t that a dress code violation?”

“Old Elias won’t care, besides if they yell at me for it, it’s only less attention on you.” Tim waved his worries away, “And I did have to do it. To be honest, I’ve always wanted to dye my hair, but never found a reason to try a violate dress code, but this was just a perfect excuse.”

“Thank you, Tim, really. It means a lot.” Jon told him sincerely.

“No worries, solidarity, am I right.” Tim told them.

They walked in to the Institute together and the first thing Jon heard was Rosie calling out: “Tim, your hair! I love it, dear.”

Internally Jon smiled: Solidarity.

[eyitsroseau]

Across the World Part 1 (Dr. Xeno dad! x Reader) Dr. Stone fanfic | A mini-series

This will be in two or three parts. I don't know yet. But I hope you like it!

Part 2

Part 3

In which you found out you were pregnant pre-petrification to your long time boyfriend NASA scientist, Xeno. However, when you told him the news, he wanted nothing to do with it because his top priority is his research. Hurt, you decided to find refuge and start anew in the country you have always wanted to live in, Japan. Post-petrification and Senku announced they'll be traveling to America. As you have lived there before, they took you and your one-year-old daughter along. Now, thousands of years later, you'll find yourself face to face with the man who had hurt you the most across the world.

"Hey, babe?" Your nervousness seeped out of your body and your trembling hands are the evidence.

"Yeah? Look, my mentee from Japan messaged me. Looks like he's building a rocket again. Hmmm. All he needs is niobium-alloy nozzle..." he replied, giving you his divided attention. Again.

"Uh, babe?" You said a little louder this time. Sensing your urgency, he sighed and faced you fully.

"What is it?"

"This may sound shocking but, I'm... pregnant," you finally announced, clutching at the hem of your shirt while you waited for his reply.

You know this is unexpected but he'll take responsibility, right? Right? But the nagging gut-feel inside you knows what his answer will be.

With a straight unforgiving face he replied,

"I don't want it."

Remember that pain. Remember the hardships you went through. Remember how you wanted to go far away from the man that hurt you the most. Remember how he never contacted you even a year later. Remember how he didn't even ask for your child- the daughter he never got to meet.

Your daughter, oh God, your daughter! Never forget the way her eyes glimmer when she's with you. Never forget the smiles and giggles she reserves for you. Never forget how she nuzzled you on her first birthday. Never forget the time when you are taking her for a walk near a high school and suddenly you saw a blinding light which rendered you motionless.

Remember those memories again and again. Don't you ever dare forget any little details. No matter how much time passes, always remember.

Never forget.

Suddenly, you feel something cracking. And for the first time in what feels like forever, you can see the light. Your eyes widened when you see trees surrounding you. Not only that but the stone that seemed to cover your body begin to crumble. Little by little, you are gaining back your motility, and you have never felt so refreshed.

When you are finally free, you stood with shaking legs while scanning the area. Where are you? Are you still in Japan? How many years have passed?

Then, something hits you. Where is your daughter? Oh my god! Where is she? She couldn't be separated from you right? You have held her tightly when you saw that light. Panic and worry surged through you and you were about to set out and find her when you heard a familiar song.

Snapping your attention to where the noise came from, you realized that it was the lullaby you have always sang to your daughter, Xenka. Your feet had already started moving before you can register anything.

Alas, there in the middle of the forest, your daughter sat in front of a bonfire, grilling what appeared to be mushrooms. Taken a back, you only stared in shock when Xenka finally looked at you and the widest grin you have ever seen has graced her little face.

"Mama! You're back!"

You can't still wrap around the fact that your one-year-old daughter is facing you right now while talking about what she thought happened. Yes, your lovely Xenka who has not even said her first word before is now talking and had even made her own fire. Plus, she said she has been surviving for a week on her own.

"Sweetie, tell mama what happened when you're still a sto-"

"Mama, the perfect term is petrified! I told you I saw it in the dictionary, right?" your daughter pouted while crossing her chubby arms.

You chuckled. This situation is absurd but what can you expect from Xeno's blood daughter?

"Right, right. I apologize. Xenka-chan what happened to you when you are petrified?"

"I remembered I was really scared, mama! But you hugged me and told me to remember. But, I don't know what you meant so I remembered and studied again the words you taught me. I even memorized the books that I used to play with," she started. Well, what you were trying to say was that she has to remember that you love her. And the books she mentioned were from your roommate who is a researcher in the field of astrophysics and chemistry. You can also remember how Xenka used to scan your biology books.

You are surprised to hear that she basically became a genius over time. But to be honest you are not that surprised. She is Xeno's daughter after all.

A slight pang hit your chest when bitter memories started to fill your mind. As sudden as those memories come, they instantly go away when you feel your daughter sitting on your lap and cuddling you.

"I miss you so much, mama! You didn't hug me back when I awoke!" Her cries echoed through the vast forest and you can't help but to tear up also.

Your biggest fear is the thought that you lost her. Fortunately, your daughter is smart enough to survive on her own even just for a week. You cried with her as relief washed over you.

She must have been so afraid of being alone. And so, you let her wail for hours. It's alright, after all she's still a child. You held her close while whispering words of reassurance that from now on, you won't be separated anymore.

Once the two of you calmed down, Xenka reported that she saw what appears to be a tower when she was scouting the area. And with that, the two of you began your journey. But first, you have to make DIY clothes or else you'll walk in naked if there really is people around.

The stone statues that litter the forest is a little creepy. It reminded you of that village in Japan famous for their stone statues. It took you a day to finally arrive at your destination. That must mean that Xenka has wandered far from where you were depetrified.

To your utter shock, a big ship is what greeted you upon entering the village. What the heck? You feel your daughter squirm in your arms wanting to be set down. You obliged and followed her when she suddenly ran to the direction of the ship.

The nearer you got, the more you see that there are a lot of people gathered around. Hope blooms in your chest as you know now that you and your daughter will survive seeing as they have this kind of resources.

A group of people went down the ship and the villagers seemed to buzz with excitement. I was about to grab Xenka so we can introduce ourselves but to my surprise, she's already in front of a young man with white hair that turns green in the tips. That reminded you of a leek which Xenka hates.

"Eh? Whose kid are you?" the man said while picking on his ear.

You sighed and hurried to walk beside your daughter. Upon seeing you, everyone erupted to loud whispers, questioning your identity. Some people from the ship even took a defensive stance and had their weapons at the ready. You suddenly felt scared and the young man sighed.

"Oi, what the heck are you doing?" He scolded his friends.

"We don't know her. She could be an enemy. Protect the chief. Rules are rules," the tall man with glasses replied.

"I am ten billion percent sure that she's not. If I deduce it correctly, you have been depetrified on your own, right?" You nodded and then his eyes trained on the little girl who has already taken a bottle from his bag.

You tried taking it from her but it's too late as she poured it on your left big toe that still remained as stone. The two of you watched in wonder when it cracked and revealed your smooth skin.

You watched as your daughter crossed her index and middle fingers as she mulls over something. This scene is painfully familiar as it is also the same mannerism as her dad's when he's too deep in his work.

Like a light bulb suddenly lit up, the crease on her little brows smoothened.

"I see now. That concoction smells like nitric acid with ethanol. The place where mama and I laid had a cave that gave nitric acid from bats but it is now gone. I thought that it is one of the factors for depetrification. However, you have more bottles with it that means you have a continuous supply of those two."

Her lengthy explanation has not just amazed me but everyone around the area. Some even had their mouths hanging open.

"What the? How did she know that?"

"But she looks like she isn't even a year old!"

"Woah! That's crazy!"

You can't help but be proud as the villagers scream from disbelief. That's your daughter alright! Even if her intelligence didn't come from you. But she did came from you.

"Kukuku! You're not just an ordinary kid, right? Then answer my next question. We have no source of Nitric Acid as the cave has been destroyed. What mineral will make the production of Nitric acid possible?" He tested her with a smirk in his face.

However, your daughter also showed a similar smirk and faced him on, "Huh, easy! It would be platinum!"

He grinned and outreached his hand to her, "My name is Senku."

You see your daughter's eyes widen and you can see why. Someone who has almost the same name as her and a genius at that too?! Who wouldn't be surprised.

"Senku-niisan, I am Xenka! And that is my mother, Y/n," she introduced while pointing at me, "please let us stay here. I can help you with your work and mama can treat people. She's a nurse!"

The young man, Senku, looked at you and grinned, "Well first, you two need some clothes. Yuzuriha, take care of them,"

-------------------------------------------

It has been a few months now since you joined the Kingdom of Science. You are still at awe at how Sengku managed to build everything from scratch with the help of these young people.

It is also crazy how your daughter fits in the science team so easily. The gaps in her knowledge is easily supplied by Senku and the two grew even more closer. She really views him as her older brother. At this point, the two are inseparable. They even finish each other's sentences at times.

But the craziest of it all is that, you are now entering San Francisco California in the ship they made. You never thought that you'll go back to where you used to live. However, this is one of Senku's plan to go to the moon and you all need the corn here.

Apparently, they needed you because 1. you are a nurse and 2. you know the geography of the place- well at least from 3700 years ago. Also, your daughter has decided to go so you really had no choice.

It has been a few days since Perseus docked here. A few nights ago, Senku was shot and you have been tending him. Apparently, there's another Kingdom of Science here in America. It surprised the lot of you since they are already advanced in terms of weaponry but you believed that your team can handle it. They already have a plan to take their leader.

And now you are in a quest to find your patient who was out of his bed when you checked a few minutes ago. Little Xenka is even crying because she didn't know where her oniisan went to.

You are also silently fuming because you specifically told him to rest so his sutures won't break. Suddenly, you are being dragged. You were about to fight back (Kohaku taught you basic self-defense) but when you see the dazzling suit of the butler, yoi sighed in relief.

"Where are we going, Francois?" you asked.

"They seized their leader and we are going to escape. Senku still needs you to tend his wounds," upon hearing Senku's name, Xenka immediately stopped crying.

"I hope he's okay," she mutters while you tightened your hold on her.

"Don't worry, sweetie. We'll make sure to scold your oniisan, okay?" You tried cheering her up and it works. You wonder what's gearing up in that little big mind of hers.

The three of you made your way to a smaller boat that looked like a yacht. You guessed that they hijacked it from the enemies. Without wasting a second, you and your daughter roamed from room to room for your leek-y boy.

You and your daughter's annoyance grew the farther you searched and alas, only one cabin remained. You and Xenka looked at each other and nodded. Without further ado, you kicked the door open, startling the two people in the room. However, the two of you are focused on Senku that you didn't even realize a man was standing beside him.

"You brat! What did I say about taking a rest?! If you want to bleed badly you can just say so!" You nagged at him while Xenka pouts and glares at him.

"Xenka is upset oniisan! You said you'll never leave my side!" she said and refrained looking at the boy.

"Y-y/n?"

Suddenly, it felt like a bucket of ice-cold water is poured on you. Even thousands of years have passed, you still remember that voice. It's the one that whispered sweet words in your ear at three in the morning but broke you in the end.

"Mama? What's wrong?" You felt two warm hands touch your cheeks but your gaze snapped and remained at the other man in the room.

"Xeno," you breathed.

Suddenly, a burst of memories that you had together appeared on your mind like a broken record. The first day you met, the day he asked you to be his girlfriend, the first time you kissed and made love, and then the last time you have seen each other. You realized you had so many happy memories together but it took less than ten minutes for it to shatter.

"Y/N, I-"

"I don't want to hear it," you said and was about to go out of the room but Xenka squirmed wanting to be out down. You hesitantly obliged.

She went in front of Xeno. The two stared at each other. White hair to white hair. Black eyes to (e/c). Indeed, looking at them like this just enhanced how they look so much alike.

Xenka crossed her middle and index finger which made Xeno surprised. You know he already knows who this child is. You're even sure that Senku must have known this the moment we entered the room or even way before that.

"I see, so you're my father. Based on mama's reactions and how you're not in my life, Xenka's 10 billion percent sure that you never wanted me," her little voice broke and it made your heart clench in hurt.

"Well, if you don't want us, Mama and Xenka don't want you either!!" She screamed and ran out of the room. Without hesitation, you followed the little girl out after glaring at Xeno.

You know that your daughter is hurt right now and she needs you the most. You find her hiding in one of the lower rooms. The sight shattered your heart and you immediately went to crush her in your embrace. This only made her cry more. Even at this young age, she understands what's happening. And for the first time, you wished she's an ordinary one-year-old.

[diana-3]

Crow’s Nest.

Diana sighed as she climbed the last few stairs to Devrim’s perch. The Gentlemen Sniper pulled his rifle back inside the windowsill and turned, having earlier waved to Diana he smiled at her approach. “Ah,” His warm tone brought a smile to her face, “Di, hello dear, how are you?”

“I’m alright I guess..s’been a while...huh?” There was guilt layering her tone, like a child who was admitting to a wrong--ready for a scolding.  

“Works kept you busy,” Devrim settled against the wall and his smile held, but his eyes turned downward and with it the mood lowered. “Seems as if the whole world is trying to burn around us.” He nodded to the radio on the shabby table with the teaset near by. “I’ve been keeping up on the radio chatter, you’ve been busy out toward the Tangled Shore lately?”

“Oh yeah,” Dianna removed her helmet and went to settle on the floor next to Devrim who glanced out the window. “There’s this new baddie, Xivu Arath? A hive celebrant...whatever that means...trying to corrupt Fal---Eliskni and Cabal into being Hive mind slaves. Causing a lot of trouble on the Shore and in the Dreaming City. Been working with Spider’s crew to get it cleaned up but its been weeks now.”

“A month yesterday,” Joel corrected as he appeared by Diana’s side. “I overheard Glint and Crow talking about it as we were walking away yesterday.”

“A month…” Diana repeated with weight behind her long sigh that followed. “Has it been that long already?”

“Between the constant crucible matches and vanguard operations to charge the lure, not to mention the individual hunts themselves, I’m not surprised we hadn’t realized.” Even Joel sounded exhausted, flying low until he settled in Diana’s hands as she crossed her legs and closed her eyes. “It’s been...hectic to say the least.”

“When was the last time you had any time off?” Devrim asked, raising a dark brow as he removed himself from the window completely now. Hanging his rifle on carefully placed hooks in the collapsing church to avoid accidental misfires. “You both look absolutely ragged.”

Diana hummed in thought. Her head slowly lulling from side to side before she spoke. “The Festival of the Lost?”

“Can’t really count that as time off when we were fixing the infinite forest…” Joel reminded her and she nodded.

“Soooo, before then?”

“My word,” Devrim’s shocked outburst made the tired guardian and her ghost both open their eyes and look at him. He was standing with his teapot in hand, “You’re going to need something a bit more strong than tea then to unwind.”

“You know what I want?” Diana chuckled softly, the fatigue showing through her defeated tone. “A nap. A nice, warm nap.”

“You’re more than welcome to come back to the farm,” Devrim offered, putting down his teapot and reaching for clean cups and saucers. “You could rant about anything bothering you until you can rest, or you’re free to do so after over a nice hot cup of tea.”

Diana smiled, watching the older man go through his motions to prepare his staple drink. The care he put into making it and the glance he gave her when he felt her stare. “Thanks,” She smiled back, “But,” She tapped Joel’s shell and woke the little Ghost from his quiet rest, his eye blinking open and his shell twitching in a stretch. “I think seeing Mythrax would just wind me back up again...remind me of everything going on on Europa.”

“Ah,” Devrim’s smile fell as he watched Joel take a lazy flight, hovering just above Diana’s shoulder as she climbed to her feet wearily. “Do you have somewhere else to stay then? I have no bed or blanket here, but I can offer great conversation and drink, a little light on snacks I’m afraid.”

“Actually…” Diana rubbed her head before her face and sighed, “I think there’s somewhere I want to...revisit. It’s not the Tower, but right now I’d rather avoid the tower if possible too…”

“Just seems like there's nowhere for us to go to get a rest away from everyone.” Joel admitted, his eye downcast as his shell shook side from side. “There's always someone looking for the next report, the next ship out, the next bounty to be taken…” He glanced at Diana who was lost in thought, her cyan eyes following the floorboard toward the window. When she slowly walked away to peer out Devrim’s window, Joel flew near Devrim and whispered. “She’s had a lot thrust onto her shoulders lately Devrim, I don’t know...I don’t know how to help her right now…”

“Is she alright?” Devrim asked, pretending to busy himself with cleaning his table as he waited for the water to boil.

“Physically she’s fine, she’s just so mentally worn out...A lot of old emotional wounds opened up…” Joel twitched in the air, flying a few degrees lower, “You’ve heard about Io, Mercury and Titan?”

“I had.” Devrim nodded, his face stern with thought. “She had friends on those planets didn’t she?”

“Yes, Asher Mir for one,” Joel shook his shell, “She’s still holding out hope that he’s in the Pyramidian, holding out. But no one’s heard from him...or Sloane and Vance...Then...we heard about Sagria…”

“Sagria?” Devrim whispered back, glancing over his shoulder to Diana, who was watching something out the window. “A guardian?”

“

A Ghost,” Joel corrected, “She was Osiris’ ghost...she sacrificed herself to save Osris from Xivu Arath’s influence...he’s Ghostless now...without the light...he’s taken refuge in the tower and asks Diana about how she and Crow--”

“Crow?” Devrim asked, raising a dark brow as he picked up the teapot and began pouring the tea into two cups. “Is that a guardian?”

“S-something like that…” Joel hesitated a tad too long and it drew a long and measured look from the marksman. “He’s a new guardian but...it’s part of the old emotional wounds opening up...that’s all I can say…”

“Mmhmm..” Devrim kept his stare on the little ghost who twitched and flew a few inches away.

“The less you know, the better.” Joel sighed.

“Wouldn’t happen to wear red pants...would this...Crow?” Devrim asked softly, glancing back at Diana who was still preoccupied with scanning the distance.

“You’ve seen him?!” Joel flew close to Devrim’s face, making the older man chuckle and straighten his back a bit.

“I’ve seen someone bustling around in the distance,” Devrim nodded with his head toward the direction of the dam, “He’s never come close though, and always seems to keep a hood up or a helmet on..I’ve never seen his face. Causing our girl some trouble is he?”

“He doesn’t mean to,” Joel said, “He’s new to everything and Di….she doesn’t know how to handle her feelings. He really reminds her of someone she’d rather forget, but at the same time she’s grown closer to him, and is having trouble letting go of that….resemblance.”

“Sounds messy,” Devrim picked up the cup and took a small sip to taste before nodding. “She needs a good rest, and time to herself away from everyone to let herself work through things. Is there a Hunter hideout where she might be able to take cover?”

“None that wouldn’t turn her over to Zavala to keep themselves from being called to the tower..” Joel had a hint of irritation in his voice, “We tried a few of the old spots, but some people have a sore spot for Di. Shaw hasn’t exactly warmed up to her and he’s made a name for himself in the cosmodrome. People think, that she thinks she’s too important, that she abandoned them in their greatest hour of need…And with the Hunters still without a leader...”

“Did they forget the part where the entire universe was at stake?” Devrim asked too loudly, drawing Diana’s tired attention finally from the window.

“Who knew the Cosmodrome was separate from our universe.” She had no mirth to her voice now, she seemed to shake slightly from side to side as she pushed away from the window and walked over to take the cup offered to her gingerly from Devrim. “Thanks…”

“I’m sorry that you’re dealing with so much,” Devrim put a gentle hand on Diana’s shoulder and squeezed it. A flicker in her eyes caught him off guard, was she going to cry? “I hope that the vanguard has at least given you some hefty time off to recoup after running you so ragged?”

“Hawthorne helped,” Joel said with a hint of pride, “When Diana was ready to just drop off the tower to get away from Zavala and Shaw, she spoke up and advocated for Diana to have a relief mission.”

“Tore into them did she?” Devrim chuckled warmly, “Ah, I can hear her now.”

“It was quite a sight,” Joel laughed, his shell squinting as he bobbed up, like a smile. “She wasn’t about to let Zavala just walk all over Diana.”

“M’ just too tired to fight anymore.” Diana admitted as she took a drink from the cup, taking a moment to shiver at the bitterness. “I wanna sleep for a week in a hole in the ground…” She paused…”Or...in a wall…” Her eyes widened slowly before she downed the rest of the cup, filled only half of the way before handing the cup back to Devrim. “If anyone asks,”

“I haven’t heard from you in months.” Devrim winked at her as he took her cup and replaced it on the table. “No idea where you could be. Haven't’ seen you in the EDZ in quite some time.” He turned and lifted his own teacup to her in salute, “I really should contact you via radio to come spend some time with this old man.” He could hear Diana and Joel speaking softly as he turned and sipped at his tea, trying not to listen to the quiet planning. He couldn’t help but hear.

“Are you sure you want to go there?” Joel was asking, concern filling his voice.

“Where else can we go right now? Unless you really wanna watch me dig a hole and bury ourselves.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this...but we could go to the Derlict?” Joel offered in a hushed tone, “Drifter would hide you for a while.”

“He’d also bug me to death for answers, or to get me into Gambit again…” Diana sighed heavily. Devrim kept himself turned around, studying the hand written notes from Marc laying on his desk, hidden out of direct sight behind the radio he used to listen to chatter, or talk to Suraya who was living in the Tower now. “No, I think it’ll be the one place no one, except one person would think to look…”

“Do you think he would?” Joel asked softly.

“No, his leash is too short right now. He might wonder to himself, maybe to Glint, but he won’t actually come looking. Which will give us all the time we need to rest.” Diana sounded sure of herself and her mind was made up. Wherever they were going, it was going to be a secret between them.

“It won’t be very comfortable,” Joel complained slightly.

“We can find a few ways to make it work.” Diana said a little more loudly, the time for private conversation over with. Devrim was refilling his cup, still pretending to be lost in his own little world when he felt two taps on his shoulder. He put down his cup and turned to receive the gentle hug Diana offered without thinking. “I’ll come by again soon Devrim, thank you for letting us rest and clear our head.”

“I don’t need to tell you that you are always welcome,” Devrim told her as he squeezed her, returning the hug. “But I will anyway, just so I’m sure you know. You can always come up here to hide out, and I won’t tell a soul if you don’t want me to.” He felt her start to pull away and he kept his hold until she leaned more heavily against him, allowing him to share her weight. “You be careful out there, hm?”

“Yes sir,” Diana’s chest vibrated with her voice, chuckling into his ear as she squeezed him back. “I’ll make sure to stop by for the dawning.” When Devrim pulled away she nodded, “I’ll remember the Shortbread cookies you love so much.”

“It pairs so well with my favorite festive tea,” Devrim sighed at the thought of such a comfort item. “It is getting around that time...isn’t it?”

“A few more weeks…” Diana nodded, “Hopefully I’ll get to feeling better before then. I’d like to go to the tower to see everyone…”

“Then you best get to it,” Devrim winked at her and grabbed a small bag from under his table, protected by a sheet that had hidden it from sight. “Here, take this, a self care package if you will.”

“Tea?” Diana laughed as she took the bag without looking at it.

“And a few biscuits and hot cocoa, some tripemines to set up a perimeter, clean water etcetera.” Devrim smiled as he poured a second cup for himself. “Little things that will help make the roughing it less...rough.”

“Thanks Devrim but shouldn’t you need this?” She asked, holding the bag up.

“Not for a while, I’m going on vacation too..of a sort. It’s Marc’s Rezzing day soon. We decided to go to Suraya in the city and spend time together. I’ll have all the comfort I need. And I can replenish my supplies.” Devrim watched as Diana nodded and looked toward the stairs. “Go on now, I won’t keep you any longer.” He turned his back and pretended to busy himself with the radio dial until a heavy baritone voice came over the waves.

“Thanks again…” Diana gave a small salute before disappearing over the ledge, not bothering with the stairs.

“It’s like they’re allergic to safety,” Devrim mused to himself, chuckling as he watched her go.

//

“Are you sure about this?” Joel asked as Diana picked her way over the rubble, careful to make sure that Devrim’s care package wouldn’t rip.

“Like I said, I’m out of ideas, unless you know of somewhere else we can go…’S not like we can go chill with Asher anymore…” She paused down the dimly lit corridor and sighed. “I miss him.”

“I know,” Joel touched his feckle to her cheek and accepted the loving caress she gave him that pinned him to her cheek gently. “I do too.”

“So this is the one place I can think of that...they won’t know to look and if they did think to look, I don’t think he’d tell.” Diana finished softly. She was outside the  little alcove now and started to go inside but hesitated.

“What's wrong?” Joel asked, blinking his yellow cat eye and watching how she hesitated. It wasn’t like her.

“I should ask permission…” She said firmly. “This is the one place that’s his and his alone...if I were just to barge in here and use it without asking? I’d be taking that away from him, I’d be just as bad as Spider. We’re not that close...in reality. He might think...I’m overstepping boundaries if I don’t ask…” The heavy silence in the air didn’t last long before she asked, “Can you patch me into a secure line to him?”

“Just a moment.” Joel busied himself with twitching, extending his shell and rotating back and forth until the sound of static washed away and a familiar voice asked.

“Who is this?”

“Glint, it’s us. It’s secure right?” Joel asked, replacing his shell to its rightful shape. Diana noticed one of his cat ears was coming untapped and tried to push it back down in place, only to knock it off and make her gasp in both shock and sadness.

“Of course!” Glint’s voice perked up, “It’s the Guardian and her Ghost!”

“You can call me Joel,” Ghost reminded him, “And Di.”

“New news on Xivu Arath or some wrathborn? A new cryptolith?” Crow’s voice came over the coms and Joel watched Diana pause in her fussing over his shell.

“No,” Diana admitted after a moment of silence. “I’ve...I’ve been given some...a reprieve…” She said slowly, remembering once what Glint had said over coms after a hunt. “But I…” She paused again and the lights inside her mouth dimmed with a sigh. “Could I...Would it bother you if I...used your...nest, for a while?”

“It’s most certainly not a nest.” Crow said a little too quickly. Diana could practically hear the flush to his blue-grey face. “But...why? I thought you would have a place in the tower in the last city?”

“I do, but not everyone understands the need for...alone time.” Diana admitted.

“About your report, could you do this run for me, we should go out tonight, could you sit in on this mission debriefing, we need someone on coms for this vanguard operation, could you help me adjust my sights,” Joel started listening off all the things that had been asked of them when they had returned to the tower the last time. “It’s like it never ends. We used to go hide out on Io when things got like this…”

“I see.” Crow interjected before silence could fall and swallow them up. “You...need a place to breathe for a while. Of course, feel free. I’m...honored that I could help you this way...Guar--”

“Di.” Diana reminded.

“Di…” Crow’s voice was soft, like he was afraid of breaking her name should he say it with too much force. “I’m sorry it’s such a mess, I haven’t been out there in a while and Glint’s a terrible maid.”

“It’s not my fault you keep everything you find that has a little shine to it.” Glint said playfully, hinting at his name.

“It’s not exactly comfortable either, but it works...in a pinch.” Crow continued, ignoring Glint’s jest. “Use it as long as you like.”

“Thanks,” Diana smiled and looked inside the alcove at the small collection of crow’s things. “I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Crow chuckled softly, “You could have used it and I never would have known. It’s not as if I’m in and out of there a lot these days.”

“Boundaries and Respect are important.” Diana told him firmly. “Guardians and good people a like do not trample over either…” She put a hand to her head and realized how much like Quin she sounded. She shook her metal head and continued. “Want me to get you some time off?” Diana asked as she stepped through the crack that served as the door. “You deserve it as much as I do.”

“Spider wouldn’t allow--”

“Spider won’t know the difference if I tell him I need you in the EDZ to track down Hive movement. Maybe they’re trying to set up a cryptolith here? Savathun did find that piece of the Traveler where we found the new Hawkmoon.”

“Not to mention we could give you a run through on being a Lightbearer. Guardian school if you will. More tips and tricks to make you more effective for Spider.” Joel added, his shell contracting in the way that made Diana say it looked like a smile.

“Time away from Spider,” Diana said in a singsong voice, “Nice hot fires under the stars, good drinks. Stories swapped.” She flopped down on the sleeping bag Crow had left on the concrete slab and regretted it, there was still a bit of debris under it and it hurt. “R and R is just as important to Guardians as it is to non-lightbearers.” She added with a grunt.

“That’s true...I just don’t think Spider would allow it.” Crow sounded defeated, tired and annoyed.

“Well, I am not going back to work for a bit….you think about it and when you want me to, I’ll talk to Spider.” Diana stood and rolled the sleeping bag up, watching how the dust and concrete of the collapsing ceiling was leaving a layer of dust on everything.

“Spider called him.” Glint said in a hushed tone, “I think some time off and not so alone would be good for him. He’s been obsessing over these Cryptoliths. He’s so sad to see the Eliskni that was good to him turn into...wrathborn…”

“He needs time away just as much as we do,” Joel sighed.

“It would be good for him, all he does is talk about work, and when he asks about Guardian things, he feels like such a stranger to it all. I think a fellow Guardian talking to him would make it feel more real, for now its just...stories of something he thinks he doesn’t deserve..” During the pause, Joel and Diana gave a look to one another. Sadness. Fatigue. Guilt. “I’ve been called by Spider, cutting the link. You two have a good rest.”

“Glint--” Joel started to speak but then hesitated. “The line’s dead.” He rotated to see Diana removing rubble from the concrete slab and cleaning it off with her hand. “This place really is a mess...huh?”

“He’s tried to make it his own…” Diana said softly. “It reminds me...of that cave in the Cosmodrome we had when we first started out...Remember?”

“Heh.” Joel floated closer and bobbed before rolling his shell over. “You kept Hive bones until you heard about Dredgen Yor, then you dumped them all over the cliffside and wanted nothing more to do with them.”

“Got rid of the dice I whittled too.” She nodded and replaced the sleeping bag, stretching it out to find it wouldn’t fit, the slab was too short. She glanced around the tiny alcove, at all of Crow’s belongings. A sleeping bag that had holes in it. A pristine Dawning bowl. His death shroud. A hive knight sword from when he save Osiris. A table and chair. A tool chest as tall as her and tools to fill it with. 8 things. He only owned 8 things. Yet the room told so much about him.

He was a repairer. Using things left over and forgotten to serve a new purpose. “It’s almost...poetic...or.” She laughed, “Ironic, whichever you wanna look at it...I guess…”

“What is?” Joel had floated off on his own, inspecting the crack in the wall that filtered in some sunlight from a room beyond the rubble.

“He takes things that are broken or forgotten. Things people don’t think twice about because to them it's used up and gives it new life...new purpose…” She picked up the bowl and placed it on the sleeping bag. “Like a guardian...we were just empty shells until you guys came along.” She smiled at Joel who twitched in silent thought. “You found me, an empty shell. Having used up all my life and been lost to time and the elements and you gave me a purpose. You brought new life into me and told me what I could do to help those around me.” She picked up his death shroud and frowned. “Uldren was a cold hearted bastard of a person.” Her grip tightened on the cloth before she sighed heavily.

“He paid his price. Blood for blood. Eye for an Eye. The debt for Cayde was settled. I know his tapes said he’d be…” She started folding the shroud gently. “Crow was a shell that was tossed away. People were trying to forget...or avoid remembering for the time. Including myself...And Glint gave him new life and purpose. He’s a guardian now. He’s not who he was before. And now he takes things Spider tries to throw away or has forgotten about and makes them into new things.” When the shroud was folded into the shape of a flag, she placed it into the bowl and busied herself cleaning off the slab where it had been placed haphazardly. “He’s just like a Ghost that way. A repairman. An artist..” She recalled the art form he had mentioned before when she saw his nest the first time. “He mentioned an artform with precious metals...do you know what it's called?”

“I hadn’t when he first mentioned it, but I talked to Zavala’s ghost and he knew what it was called, apparently it's called Kintsugi, or kintsukuroi, it’s a Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.  It treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.” He paused for a moment and flew a little lower, “Oh, I see what you mean.”

Diana straightened up the room in silence for a while. Dusting everything with her hands as best she could and being as gentle as possible. It didn’t take her long to clean up the room, tossing out the debris into the hall. She looked around and realized it wasn’t cleaning she wanted to do.

“I wanna do something nice for him.” She said out loud, throwing out a fist sized piece of concrete into the hall. “And I don’t mean dusting.” Joel was flying around the room and scanning the area, inspecting the walls and ceiling.

“He doesn’t have a lot does he?” he asked as he came down to her height. “We could get a few things for him.”

“Yeah..spruce the place up a bit...he deserves better than this but…” She glanced at the shroud sticking up from the bowl where she had placed it. “Baby steps.”

“What do you think he would like?” Joel asked.

“Anything is better than this…” she glanced at the mop bucket in the corner, and cringed. “We could get him a sturdy cot to sleep on. A better sleeping bag…” She looked back to his area and tilted her head, “Another table, a chair...we could clear these slabs out.” She kicked at the one he had been using for a bed. “Hang that sword up.” She pointed to the sword as it was propped up against the wall, waiting to topple over. “And a heater…”

“A heater?” Joel asked, spinning back to watch her as she nodded.

“It’ll be snowing soon. If he’s gonna get time off and come stay, then he’s gonna need heat...and some food that won’t spoil…” Her faceplates shifted to show irritation. “The boy doesn’t even have the basic necessities to live on his own. He won’t be under Spider’s four thumbs forever.”

“You think he’s going to let Crow go eventually?” Joel didn’t sound convinced, but when Diana settled her cyan eyes on him, he knew that look. He’d seen it before the battle against Crota...Oryx...Gaul and the darkness. It was what he called her ‘try me’ look.

“Oh he will. And we’re getting that bomb outta Glint too.” She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “Glint doesn’t deserve that treatment, and neither does Crow. The boys are literally as pure as new fallen snow, and Crow’s as green as Venus.”

“I remember when Leland used to say the same about you,” Joel offered softly, flying close to her chest, his sign he wanted to be held in her hands. She obliged him, cradling him gently and stroking his feckle lovingly.

“I’m not gonna comment on that,” she chuckled and planted a kiss on her Ghost’s shell. Going to sit on the sleeping bag. “I guess this means we’re going back to the city after all.”

“What are we gonna tell people who ask what we’re doing?” Joel twitched his shell so he was looking up at Di from her hands she stared longingly at the Dawning bowl.

“That we’re helping out a kinderguardian. They’re new and scared to come to the city. Or that I’m literally burying myself in a hole and making a fuck off bunker so people will leave me alone for once.” She stopped and blinked, “By the light, I sound like Osris now.”

“I like the second one better,” Joel laughed, “It sounds more like you than Osiris.”

Both of them laughed, their voices bouncing off the three and a half walls until it sounded like it would drown all their sorrows. They hadn’t laughed like that in a while. It made Diana sad to realize this. She tried not to look at it, but it was like a living thing staring at her. The death shroud. One of the triangle corners was peeking up from the bowl and taunting her until she stared at it.

“I’m not...weird am I?” She asked Joel, still staring at the white cloth.

“Is that a question you want me to answer honestly, or be serious?” Joel asked with mirth still in his voice.

“No, I mean…” Diana’s tone made Joel twitch in her hands, bringing her attention to him. “I know I didn’t remember anything, not a thing when you brought me back. But you said I’d been dead a long time...I’ve never…” She trailed off and looked toward the floor. “I’ve never run into anyone who recognized me before. But Uldren...he…” She sighed. “He killed dad...I know I said Crow was different and he IS but…” she made a clicking noise. “Sometimes when it gets quiet, and I see him, I can still SEE Uldren there. Does that make me a bad person?” She looked to Joel sadly. “Am I a horrible person because I sometimes still see him inside someone who's new? If Crow didn’t have the same meatsuit...if he’d been changed into an Exo like me when he was first brought back...I woulda never known….I wouldn’t be...questioning myself like this.” She looked to the shroud again. “He’d just be a new guardian. A fellow exo. A nice guy...But I find myself wanting to reach out to him. Be...more than kind to him. To be someone for him and then that moment happens when I don’t see Crow, I see…and then I feel like I’m betraying Dad’s memory by being chummy with the meatsuit that killed my leader...”

“I could tell,” Joel admitted softly, speaking in barely a whisper, as if afraid the truth would cause the ground to swallow them up. “When you two are having a good talk and it gets quiet, I see the way you look at him. It’s kindness and then fear, mixed with guilt.” He twitched again and the eye blinked. The other ear was starting to come loose and Diana peeled it off with a gentle hand. “You’re trying so hard to not hold him accountable for a crime you know Crow didn’t commit. But it’s still the same face. It’s still the same hand.” he blinked again, “It’s a situation I don’t think any other guardian has ever had to face like this before.” Only a heartbeat passed before he added. “I don’t think it makes you a bad person, I think you’re struggling with a situation that no one else has ever had to be in before and you’re doing a lot better than others who have seen his face.” He flew up from her hands and hovered a little ways from her face.

“You loved Cayde like a father, and he was taken from you by someone you didn’t particularly care for when you knew him. Now that person is no more, but their body is still up walking around with someone new inside...sorta. It’s like that pottery thing, he has his scars. His past is part of him, but he has a new life and a new outlook.” he tilted his shell toward the ground. “Uldren hated Guardians, he tried to make our life hell when we had to deal with the awoken. But,” he titled his shell upward and squinched himself into a smile, “I’ve seen Crow absolutely light up when you walk in a room. He’s excited to see you, to work with you. If that’s not proof he’s totally different then I dunno what would be.”

When she didn’t respond he bonked her on the forehead with his feckle and made her blink at him in bewilderment. “Others have outright killed Crow when they saw his face. You didn’t.”

“I tried…” She put a hand on the spot where he hit her. “If Quin hadn’t stopped me...I would have put a bullet in him.”

“Are you glad she stopped you?” Joel asked firmly.

“Yes?” she sounded unsure, when Joel tightened his shell around him she felt like he was glaring at her so she repeated with conviction. “....Yes. I am.”

“Would you put a bullet in him now?” Joel’s voice was hard, he was trying to test her resolve. He already knew he answer, he just needed her to know it.

“No, absolutely not, I’d...” She paused and remembered her fight with Hunter-1, they still hadn’t spoken since they introduced Crow to him. When he tried to murder Crow, even after learning he was a guardian and Uldren no more. Quin had ushered Crow to safety while Diana wrestled with the fellow Exo. He hadn’t looked at her the same since. On Wrathborn hunts he wouldn’t watch her back anymore, and he would ignore her when she spoke to him. “I’d fight those who would try...”

“Then you’re already leaps and bounds ahead of others.” Joel told her with a flip. “And the fact you want to give him what he needs to survive on his own, until he can be accepted as Crow and not as Uldren, shows you have compassion for him.” He tilted his shell halfway, like he was being coy. “And do not think for one millisecond I haven’t seen you smile at him with that same look you used to give Drifter either missy.”

“I. Give. No. Looks.” Diana’s voice was low, gravely, she was willing to die on this hill.

“And I wasn’t born in the Light.” Joel gave a small hummpf sound before flying out of the crack, forcing Diana to follow along behind him if she wanted to argue.

[noctuaas]

AS YOU WISH; t. kuroo

synopsis; in this tale of romance, revenge, and treason, you, a beautiful commoner, are set to become the princess of aobajousai. will your one true love be able to save you in time?

pairing; kuroo tetsurou x reader

content; princess bride au (heavily based on both the movie and novel), medieval au, torture, mild violence, drama, fantasy/adventure, murder, fem!reader

fic navigation

01 ; THE BRIDE

TO BE THE MOST beautiful girl in the world was a concept far past your concern. Those around you certainly saw the potential, but at 16 years old, you simply could not care less to capitalize on your natural beauty. (Beauty routines were exhausting in your eyes. You only washed your face so as not to feel filthy, taking a razor to your leg hair was far more trouble than it seemed worth, and you were quite sick of brushing your hair, so you did so as little as possible.) All you really wanted to do was ride your horse and pester the farm boy that worked for your parents.

Prince, as you had taken to calling the horse when he was just a yearling, was a loyal companion. Other girls your age grew attached to one of their herding dogs’ pups, or the kitten of a barn cat, but you had Prince. He always came when you called, steered where you told him even on a loose rein, nuzzled your face on bad days. 

For all the time you spent taunting and bossing the farm boy around—“Farm Boy, fetch me this,” and “Farm Boy, take care of that,”—he always had one thing in common with the horse: he always did as he was told.

(Perhaps you knew that he was really a young man now—he was a year or two older than you—but he had been just an orphaned boy when he first came to work for your father, so that was what you referred to him as: Farm Boy.)

“As you wish,” he always replied, without fail.

Your father was fond of the farm boy, often remarking how he should leave him an acre of land in his will for all his hard work. These conversations never lasted long though, not before your parents would turn to you and chide you for needing to go bathe again and clean yourself up after spending the day in the barn.

Despite your disdain for taking care of yourself like a “proper lady,” as your mother liked to say, your natural beauty was still enough to cause the village boys to flock to you. Those dimwits always liked to badger you with stupid questions whenever you rode into town, offering silly favors and making awkward small talk, much to dismay of the rest of the girls in the village. The boys were always so annoying, and you often noted how much more tolerable Farm Boy was as you dismissed their advances. Eventually they took to making fun of you, laughing over snide remarks about you because they must have been embarrassed about being shot down. Sometimes the insults were too much to ignore, and when that was the case, Farm Boy took matters into his own hands. You always thanked him after he sent a village boy home bloodied and crying, and he always answered, “As you wish.”

You came to realize that Farm Boy was the only boy your age whose presence you seemed to enjoy. One night, you lied awake with the dim light from a full moon crawling through your window, thinking about how he was always kind and respectful to you, how he protected you and your honor, how he seemed to smile at you differently than he ever smiled at the other girls in town. (You also let yourself admit that he was quite handsome, with his amber eyes and ebony hair that was always in a perfect bedhead state, which was something you had never bothered caring about before.)

After that, your time was no longer divided between riding your horse and pestering the farm boy; now, ‘pestering’ was to be replaced with ‘falling for’. You let him join you on rides through the woods on Prince; you began doing your morning reading in the barn to keep him company while he fed the animals; you took it upon yourself to take out any extra supper your mother cooked to him. You even decided to stop calling him ‘Farm Boy’.

“What’s your actual name, Farm Boy?” you asked out of the blue.

“Why do you ask?” he had replied, and you snorted in mild amusement.

“Well, after having known you all these years, it must be quite rude of me to still call you ‘Farm Boy’.”

He paused and grinned that endearing grin of his, “Just call me Kuroo, then.”

Everything was so blissful for the year following. You loved Kuroo, and he loved you. Even on the day the royal Count and Countess of Aobajousai had strangely paid your family a visit, you both were sure of this; because while the Countess took Kuroo’s arm gently for him to show her the dairy cows and the Count watched you intently as you followed the small procession on your horse, you and Kuroo both stared at each other.

At the end of one year though, Kuroo unexpectedly showed up at your window in the middle of the night.

“I’ve come to say goodbye.”

You shot up straight in your bed, cocking your head incredulously, “What do you mean, ‘goodbye’?”

“I mean I’m leaving.”

“Leaving? Have I done—”

“I’m taking to the sea to seek my fortune,” he cut you off. “There’s a ship that sails out of Karasuno, to the new country of Inarizaki. There’s great opportunity there, so I’m going.”

You were shell-shocked for a moment. Leaving? Sailing to Inarizaki? Where was this all coming from?

“But why? What about the farm? What about us?” You finally said. Your voice was already beginning to quiver pathetically as tears brimmed in your eyes.

“I’ve been training at night, so I hardly need sleep or food, and I’ll get two 10-hour-a-day jobs. I’m gonna save every penny, and in just a couple years I’ll have enough to buy a big farm and build a brand new house just for the two of us.”

“For the two of us?” Your brows furrowed and your voice was meek.

“Yes, (y/n). I love you. All these years I’ve stayed here because of you. I’ve taught myself foreign languages, made my body strong, everything, for you. I’ve been head over heels for you since I was a kid. Do you understand what I’m saying, or should I keep going?”

(By now, Kuroo had squeezed his broad frame through your window, somehow landing gracefully on the floor and sliding next to you on your bed so he could wipe away your tears with his thumb. It was a good thing he was athletic enough to do so quietly, because if your parents caught him in your room, all hell might break loose.)

“Never stop,” you mumbled dreamily.

“There hasn’t been a day—”

“You better not be teasing me, Kuroo, or I’ll have your hide,” you broke in this time. Kuroo loved to tease you, and it was normally all in good fun, but if that was the case now, then he was taking it way too far.

“I’d never joke about loving you,” he replied. “Remember all those years when you would tell me, ‘Farm Boy, do this, Farm Boy, do that’? What did I always say?”

“‘As you wish’.”

“Well, that’s just what you thought I was saying. I was actually saying ‘I love you’,” Kuroo smiled gently and ran his fingers through your hair.

All that time? You couldn’t even recall the first time Kuroo started saying ‘As you wish’ to all your commands, but apparently he had been in love with you. Before you had ever even noticed him, he was devoted to you. It sounded like a fairy tale.

“I love you too, Kuroo. I’ll never stop loving you, I swear,” you finally said.

“I’ll hold you to it, princess. I have to go now if I want to make it to Karasuno in time, but I’ll send for you soon. Promise.”

You nodded in understanding, but you couldn’t let him leave without one last kiss.

There had been five great kisses since the beginning of time. Though the precise rating of kisses is a bit convoluted and controversial (everyone knows that the formula for a great kiss is comprised of timing, affection, intensity, and duration, but there has never been a universal agreement on each element’s weight), there was no doubt that this kiss left every other in the dust.

The following morning, all you wanted to do was lay around and mope. It was perfectly justifiable, considering the love of your life had just left the country, and you wouldn’t see him for God knows how long. You wallowed in self pity for about an hour before realizing that Kuroo was out in the great big world now, and with as handsome as he was, he would surely have women throwing themselves at him.

What if all this moping destroys my beauty, and when he sends for me, I’ll arrive in Inarizaki, and he’ll take one look at me and send me back?

“Mother,” you ran downstairs, interrupting whatever petty argument your parents were having. “I need your advice. How can I better take care of my appearance?”

“You’ve never cared about your appearance, honey. Why are you asking this all of a sudden?”

“Well, I’m nearly 18 now. I figure it’s about time I start behaving a little more like a lady,” you lied. It was enough to appease your mother, and she grabbed your arm and began dragging you to the washroom in delight.

You quickly learned that taking such care of yourself was hard work; the saying, ‘beauty is pain,’ made an awful lot of sense now. But for Kuroo, nothing was too much. Every morning, you awoke at dawn to start the farm chores. You had to pick up all the slack left by Kuroo, so there wasn’t really any time for self-improvement until the afternoon, but once you started, you took it very seriously. Daily baths, simple exercises, and all the time it took to brush your hair out perfectly before bed.

If the whole town thought you were beautiful before, now they all knew you must be a contender for the most beautiful girl in the world. You, however, still had no care for how beautiful the rest of the world found you; as long as Kuroo found you beautiful. (In the coming years, you would learn that you were beautiful no matter what, and simplify your beauty routine to what you liked. As long as you felt clean and tidy, that was sufficient.)

Kuroo wrote you letters every few months, and you kept every one of them. Sometimes people would ask you how he was doing, which was a mistake unless they had a lot of spare time, because you could talk about him for hours. It was obvious that you were completely and utterly in love, and so the village boys eventually stopped trying, and the village girls warmed back up to you.

It made sense the way Kuroo’s death hit you the way it did.

The news reached your parents first. The Count (a new fellow named Iwaizumi, appointed by Prince Oikawa shortly after the last one’s death) was sent to your farm to deliver the news since it was Kuroo’s last known place of residence. You were returning from town on your horse when Count Iwaizumi was leaving your property.

“Miss,” he nodded politely as you crossed paths. You rode on in confusion, and the new Count watched you intently, much like the last one.

When you made it into the house, both your parents hushed up and looked at you with pity.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s The Crow’s Wing, darling. It was attacked,” your mother told you.

Kuroo’s ship was attacked? You furrowed your brows, “What?”

“Pirates. In the night,” your father explained.

You knew the trip across the sea would be dangerous, but you never thought it would happen to him. Sliding into a chair, you decided it might be best to sit down.

The room was quiet until you managed to squeak out, “So Kuroo’s been taken prisoner, then?”

A long sigh from your parents, and then, a, “No.”

“It was the Dread Pirate Nekomata.”

You blinked, willing back tears. The Dread Pirate Nekomata was the most famous pirate in all the world, and he never took prisoners. In all these years in his reign of terror, no one survived an attack from the Dread Pirate Nekomata.

You went to your room, and this time around, you allowed yourself to mope. For six days, you sulked, and cried, and mourned. Not once did you come out of your room, so your parents took to leaving food outside your door, which you only ever picked at meekly. During those six days in your room, you decided you would never love again.

[oksana-moods]

Ghost of you - Part 13

Summary: The further Ghost investigates, the further she drenches in blood. And Ghost realizes she’s a fly in a spider’s web.

A/N: Sorry if I took so long. Promise part 14 will be here soon.

Trigger Warning: Violence (a lot), language, mentions of death… If you find any, I’ll be glad to add.

 “I'm prepared for this. I never shoot to miss.”

We left Nice early in the morning, arriving in our Hotel in Toulouse right after lunch. While Carol discussed the news with Nat and Steve, I made myself busy analyzing the bracelet. The rocks seemed genuine, just rare and mesmerizing. Everything about it screamed money, an awful big amount of money. This could be a piece of art. I put it in my arm, and nothing happened. No toxins, no poison, nothing trying to pierce my skin. Just a shiny harmless diamond bracelet destined to grace Carol’s wrist. A piece of star for a star herself. The moment we arrived at Théâtre du Capitole, the staff guided us to Greene’s box. It was bigger than I thought it’d be, with room for the Beauffort’s, Batroc, another two couples, Greene himself and us, his bodyguards would stay behind, of course. We had a frontal unrestricted view of the stage, probably the very best of the theater. After the pleasantries and greetings, we took our sits, and an earpiece found its way to my hand. When the show began, I understood why I had one, this was a business meeting. Hm, clever. They talked about money, resources, transports, then they started to plot an attack in London, to force UN’s hand in signing with Beauffort’s company. With this accord, Beauffort would be responsible for every single immigrant on Europe. We were halfway through the show when a new voice joined the conversation. “Can I offer an opinion?” His voice was loud, so this person wasn’t sitting among the audience. “I think that you people should find a better place to meet.” My brows were furrowed and soon a commotion was visible when people started to get up from their sits and walk towards the exit. One of Greene’s goons whispered something in his ear, but I caught ‘Interpol is here’ very clear, he sent a dark look in my direction and left the box, Beaufforts hot in his heels. I couldn’t afford having Interpol asking me questions, so I stood and picked Carol’s hand and started to walk out of the room to follow them, but we were delayed by the others leaving too. When we reached the hall, there wasn’t trace of Greene, so I pick the first set of stairs to find the exit. After a few flights of stairs, I heard Greene’s distressed voice. “This is on you, Jean. You brought her to me, and I let her in. He’ll kill me for this mistake.” That’s news, I never thought that Greene was the leader but a very high member of Spectre, but his fear showed me that he wasn’t that big or… their leader had history of being ruthless. Beauffort’s voice broke my train of thought. “She’s clean, Dom. She has nothing to do with this.” Thank you, Jean. And is true. We never contact Interpol with what we’ve found. Our feet touched the entrance hall just in time to see the deathly glare Greene shot at Jean. “I’ve made my mind, already.” I took the first door and dragged Carol inside with me to avoid being seen by them. “What do we do now?” Carol whispered. “I’m thinking.” She took a deep breath. Fuck. Who the hell called Interpol? Someone else was being investigated, I could only hope that they’d find out who until tomorrow. After all, tomorrow night we’d go to Chateau de Mercues to meet their ‘very important’ friend for dinner, I wonder if this friend is their leader. And something inside me says that yes, it is. “We’ll wait.” I turned to look at Carol. I realized my hand was still holding hers, so I let go. “We stay here and pretend that we watched the show until the end. I’ll call Jean later and see where we’re standing.” I licked my lips; my mind and heart were racing. This ship can’t sink now. We were so close. “We’ll be fine. As long as we keep together.” I said and Carol nodded. I just don’t know if I was trying to reassure her or myself. ------ “Are you okay?” I asked Carol while driving us to our hotel. “Just a bit tired.” Carol being tired was unheard of, but this past week was demanding a lot, from both of us. We were on edge, chasing an invisible enemy, completely out of our elements. I was about to reply when I saw a car from police signaling for me to stop. Something was off. I instantly felt my bones cold and by Carol’s expression, she felt too. They asked for us to step out of the vehicle and we complied with their request. What was going on? There were two of them, one was talking to me and the other had his hand around his gun in his waistband, like he was ready to draw it. We were two women, visibly unarmed, we were no threat to him. This is no good, something is definitely off. God, I’m glad Carol is bullet proof. Obeying his demands, I opened the trunk, and my blood ran cold in my veins when I saw Jean’s very beaten body laying inside. Fuck. This was enough for them to draw their guns and aim at us, the first cop yelled for me to pick Jean from the trunk and so I did. With the movement, he opened his eyes revealing he was still alive but before anything I heard the gunshot hitting him in the back, I pushed him towards the second cop while I hastily broke the first one’s hand, expertly picking up his gun and shooting them both dead in a blink of an eye. Everything happened so fast that Carol was looking at me as if trying to understand the last ten seconds. Before I could reach Carol, I heard Jean coughing, so I crunched beside him. “Is Lara your name, at least?” I nodded to him, my voice caught in my throat, and he gave me that signature sly smile stained with blood. “I liked you. Truly.” He manages to speak. “I’m sorry.” I just don’t know what for. “Run, Lara. Run from this. He’ll kill you…” He coughed blood but kept with his final words. “He’ll kill her.” He softly pointed at Carol with his head. “Tell Debra… that I… I’m sorry.” I saw the light leave his eyes, the familiarity of this hitting me hard. The light always leaves their eyes, but they still look accusatorily at your soul. I closed his eyes and looked inside his pockets for his wallet. Took the money, his watch and asked Carol to jump inside the car. “May your soul find peace.” I mumbled to his body and ran to the car. Minutes later we arrived at the safety of our room. Fuck. Greene set us up.

After we arrived, Carol barely changed her clothes and crawled to bed, claiming she felt being drained. She had a fearful look, and I couldn’t help but think that this was so out of place in her. I was at the door that joint our room with the balcony, I had a perfect view from the door or from the outside in case anyone tried to come flying to caught us out of guard, I stayed the whole night up, but nothing happened. The waitress served our breakfast in the morning and other than that no one came after us. The tv was on, I was looking for any news about last night, nothing yet. “How can you listen the tv? Is extremely low.” Carol’s voice startled me; she had that soft raspy morning tune after waking up. Goosebumps successfully climbed my back and arm. I flashed her a small smile. “Enhanced hearing. Nothing big, though, just a bit more than a normal human.” I lifted a mug with coffee at her. “Feel like eating?” She nodded and climbed down the bed and went to the bathroom to get ready. When she came back, there was a mug with fuming precious liquid and a plate with fruit in front of her chair waiting for her. “Thanks.” She mumbled and I just bowed my head. “Anything yet?” She asked. “No. Nothing in the newspapers either.” I said putting the pieces of paper aside. “Last night… You picked Jean’s money and watch… why?” I sipped from my cup and replied. “That way when the cops find their… bodies, they would think about a possible robbery first. And we’d have time until they come after us.” I felt so uneasy discussing this with Carol. Is not that I felt I’d ever have any chance, but I didn’t want her thinking that I am a cold blood murderer. Too late now, I guess. “How did you think about it? It was too fast.” If she was disturbed because I just killed two cops, she never showed. A weak smile showed itself in my face and I shrugged. “I saw it in an old spy movie. My friend Sam used to like it, a lot.” It’s been years, but I think I’d never stop remembering Sam or Wanda all the time, God, how I miss them. My thoughts were interrupted by a hand reaching mine, I looked up to see Carol’s soft eyes at me. “I’m sorry. I know you miss them.” I wanted to draw back my hand, for her skin was burning mine. “It’s not your fault.” I replied with a small voice, but she squeezed my hand then let go. “I should’ve known about… Thanos. I should’ve been here… with you.” With me? My mind went blank. What did she mean with this? Like being save by the bell, my phone rang, checking the caller id showed me it was Natasha. “Hey Nat.” After minutes explaining what happened the night prior, Steve was perplex with the things I did. “I can’t believe you killed two officers. What were you thinking?” “They were dirty cops, Steve.” I sighed, suddenly realizing how tired I was. “You can’t kill people because you think they’re dirty. And how can you be so sure?” He asked, still pissed and I’m sure he’s right. Just because I’m an Avenger, I can’t do whatever I want. Steve was right. I just can’t bring myself to care, I did what I had to do to protect Carol and I. “Because If they wanted to rescue Jean, they wouldn’t shoot at him when they saw he was alive. This was a setup, Steve. They were ready to draw their guns and they shot Beauffort while trying to shoot at us.” “Are you hurt? Carol?” Natasha asked, concern lacing her voice. I could feel Steve pitching the bridge of his nose, trying not to burst at how stupid I was. “No, we’re fine. Thanks.” “Okay. You two come back and we’ll contact NATO and explain what happened, maybe we still can…” “What?” My voice spoke as if on her own accord. “We can’t go back now, Steve. They’re planning an attack. Haven’t you listened?” I know he was mad, but this? London could be attacked in days, maybe less. “I listened very well, Mav. You’re acting like you run the world, but this is not how we do things! We’re not Hy..” “Don’t even finish this sentence, Rogers. We’re not Hydra, believe me, I know. But I remember when we fought against the Avengers. When we went rogue because you thought you were right, and I believed you, trusted you. And now I know I’m right.” I couldn’t believe he was trying to compare my attitude now with the one I used to have when I was with Hydra. “I’m… I never wanted…” He was out of words; he probably never expected such outburst, but we don’t have time to dwell on such things as past, or… I don’t know what he was implying. “Look, I know what I did was wrong, but that was a choice I made and is up to me to work this through. But we need to focus on what’s at stake here.” I ran a hand through my hair, and I was looking at the phone screen like I could appear at the other side. “We need to keep pushing this. Is the only way.” Even with such small screen I could see Natasha shaking her head. Shit. “No, Mav, you’ve been compromised. They probably recognized you.” I could see Steve agreeing with her. “They sent two cops after us, Nat. If Greene knew who I was, I’m sure he would’ve sent the whole squad.” She looked at me through the phone, but I could see she was thinking, she slowly nodded her head. That’s it! I knew she would see reason. “You’re right. Only Lara is compromised. Still, you need to come back. Is safer this way.” “C’mon, Nat?! You can’t possibly think this is right. What about the attack?” Steve spoke for her this time. “We’ll call the authorities; they’ll work with all the data we’ll send them.” This wasn’t right. It was obvious that they wouldn’t work fast enough. “Steve, what if this isn’t good enough, what if they don’t work fast with all the intel?” He sighed, his telltale that this conversation was over. “They’ll have to.” I closed my eyes and sighed. I couldn’t agree with this. “Mav…” Nat’s voice made me open my eyes and look at her. “We’ll work this through. But we need you two back here in safety.” I nodded at her and she smiled softly. “There’s a flight home in 6 hours, I just bought a ticket for you, girls. We’ll talk when you’re at home.” She sent me one last look, almost pleading for me to be in that plane and I just nodded. “See you in a minute” She finished with a small smile, and she hung up. We would be in that flight, of course. But six hours gave me enough time to attend one last meeting with Greene. “I’ll take a shower.” I said to Carol, who was stunned with our exchange. --------

“Where do you think you’re going?” Carol’s voice startled me at the door. My hand still at the doorknob. “I still have a meeting with Greene. We have a business-lunch scheduled for today.” “But Natasha asked…” I never let her finish her thought. “I know what Nat said. I still have few hours before the flight.” She licked her lips, she was nervous. “But what if he recognized you or try something…” I sighed and pushed away from the door and walked towards her. “Hey, look at me...” Her eyes were locked in mine, making butterflies dance in my stomach. “He won’t hurt me. If anything were to happen, I’ll call you. Is that okay?” She was conflicted and the battle inside her head was visible. She was worried and so was I, but people’s lives were on the line. I couldn’t just sit and wait. “Promise?” She asked softly and my hands found hers, with a light squeeze I let them go. “I promise.”

Greene’s manor was in the outskirts of Toulouse, it was big and beautiful and completely isolated from the other houses. While driving, I devised a plan of action. I would go as if nothing had happened and wait to see his next step. When I arrived at the gates and the security let me inside the property without asking many questions. Hm, maybe it wasn’t Greene who set me up?! However, this thought was soon forgotten, because when I closed the car’s door a fist came in my direction which I easily dodged and kick him down. When I saw a gun aimed at me, I knew that there was no other way around, I’d have to fight to get out of this. I was indeed compromised.

Twelve bodies later, I arrived at Greene’s main room. He was waiting for me, and he wasn’t alone. Batroc was standing by his side with his wicked grin. “Ah, I knew you’d come.” Greene spoke with a cynical grin in his face. “If you knew, why aren’t you prepared?” My comeback was sassy, but dread was roaming in my bones. “I don’t need anyone, except Batroc here.” He said motioning to the man besides him, who started to charge at my direction and before I could even think he knocked me to the ground. Fuck. He was strong, almost strong as Steve was. Who is this guy?

He was trying to break my windpipe with his hands, but after a swift movement he wasn’t pinning me anymore. He came fast and strong with his punches, kicks and different moves, I didn’t know if he was fighting or dancing. I dodged or blocked most of his blows and I got few in. He was fast, but I was faster. His nose was already bleeding when he managed to kick my legs and my back hit the ground once again, before he could try anything else, I kicked his legs and his back found the floor too. I heard gun shots, but my opponent had my undivided attention. All at once, we were fighting on the floor, gripping each other’s legs and arms. Twisting and crawling, pulling and smashing… until he pushed me and tossed over his shoulders, and I hit something sharp when my back hit the table. Fuck. I saw blood dripping from my shoulder blades. With a grunt, I pushed myself off of the sharp edge and got to my feet, right in time to see Batroc charging like a bull. I jumped in his torso, twisting my body in the air making him fall against the broken table, the sharp edge now impaling his back and the tip was coming out of his stomach and he was stuck.

Another gunshot and I stumbled backwards. I looked down and saw my shirt stained with blood in my stomach area. Huh, I fucking hate Greene. I charged at him, he tried to shoot again but I was incredibly fast, even wounded, I took the gun from him and punched him to the floor. Before I could even muster my first question to Greene, I saw Batroc setting himself free from the table. How is he up? I turned and shot him twice in the chest, and with that he fell dead on the ground. I looked at my feet, only to see a very much wide-eyed Greene staring at me like he saw a ghost. Hm, he definitely saw the Ghost.

“I can’t believe you’re real.” His words caught me completely out of guard. “What you’re talking about?” His nose was bleeding and staining his mouth and shirt, but he kept that cynical smile, and my blood was boiling. He screamed after I shot his tight. Good. I wanted to wipe that smile from his face. I picked a chair and sat in front of him. “What the hell?” He screamed clutching his leg. “I asked you a question.” I replied with a flat voice, as if I was asking a trivial question.

“He told me about you. About your arm…” He half laughed and that dread came back to embrace me like a wave. “You don’t know what you’re dealing with. You are a kite dancing in a hurricane, Ghost.” How does he…? I got up and picked him by his shirt. “How do you know this name?” He laughed and I punched him once, twice, and again until blood was covering my metal hand. “You don’t know what you’re looking for, but he’ll come to get you.” I hit him again and again, I just wanted him to stop. “Enough with these riddles. Stop!” I screamed at his face, but he coughed and spat blood on the ground, and he had that smile again. “Look at all these bodies in your way…” He blinked like in deep thought. “Tsc. Is so sad Carol isn’t here to see the type of monster you are.”

At this I felt self-conscious, I used the back of my flesh hand, the one holding the gun, to clean the blood from my lip. “Don’t bring Carol into this.” My voice was so weak, suddenly I felt weak, so I sat in the chair again. “What?” He kept saying with a smile on his face. “You thought she could love you?” My head snaped at his direction. “I never thought…” I began to speak but he stopped me.

“Aah. Please, I saw the way you looked at her. Your desire burned in your eyes…” He coughed one more time, he was paler since he was losing too much blood. “I can see it right now… But she’ll never be with you. How could she? You’re a disaster, you are death… wherever you go, there’s a trail of blood behind.” I tried to run a hand in my hair, but blood and sweat made it impossible. “Stop or I’ll…” He laughed. “Or what? Kill me?” His smile never faded from his mouth but never reached his eyes. “I’m already dead. You are too.” I got up to my feet, suddenly, too restless to stay in that chair. “The only difference is that I’m aware and you’re not.” I walked in his direction. “I said for you to stop!” Focus… Focus… Breathe. I thought to myself. I took a deep breath and turned to Greene one more time. “London. Tell me about the attack.” His eyes focused on me again. “Trying to pretend to be the hero, hm?” He tried to move his body to a comfortable position, but he was too weak, so he gave up. “I don’t know the details…” He sighed. “Is due in a couple of days, maybe in a big event.” I closed the distance between us and punched him again. “Stop lying. Stop with riddles.” When I let him go, he coughed and looked at me dead in the eye. “I’m not lying. We got interrupted last night. We’d discuss this tonight, at the Chateau de Mercues.” Finally, something useful that I can work with. I took a few steps back. “Who else will be there?” He flashed a cold smile at me. “Everybody.” I was about to press further when I heard a faint noise of sirens, and I’m sure they were coming this way. Greene heard too. “Guess we finished here.” He managed to sit against the wall while speaking. “Finish me off. I’ll be only another name on your body count.” I growled at him. I didn’t like the way he talked about me, like I was a wild animal. “I’m not like you, Greene.” I turned to fully look at him. “Oh, of course you’re not like me. You’re worse. You’re the cold murderer they made you to be.” He hissed at me. “Devil created you, Ghost, but I’m not even sure if you’re going to hell or worse.” I shook my head, I had enough of this. I pressed the trigger, but nothing happened, the magazine was empty. I dropped the gun and walked towards him, felling slightly better when he shrank under my glare. “Well, when you see the devil, tell him that I’m not far behind.” Faster than a bullet, my hands moved around his head and a soft snap came from his neck. I got up to my feet. I grabbed his phone and ran down the stairs, the sirens were much closer now. Fuck. This is bigger than I thought. Fuck. Steve was going to kick my ass.

[kittyprincessofcats]

RWBY Volume 6

So, I pretty much binge-watched this one in a few days because I really needed to know how things go on after Volume 5 and it was just so good! Lots of messy thoughts to come!

[There will be spoilers for RWBY up to Volume 6 in this post (duh). Please don’t leave any spoilers for anything after Volume 6 on this post, or I will block you.]

Thoughts under the cut because this ended up getting a little long.

- The character short for Adam was really cool! It was cool to see how the White Fang began, to see Sienna, Ghira, Ilia and Adam in action, to see the irony of Sienna being a mentor to Adam and encouraging his ways when you know he’ll end up killing her, and to see a glimpse into Adam and Blake’s past relationship (and how the stuff he said to her was textbook emotional abuse). However, I do have one criticism, and it’s something that really bothers me: There’s a continuity mistake with Ilia’s age. Let’s think about this: Ilia was always implied to be the same age (or around the same age) as Blake. In the part of this short where Ghira was still leader of the White Fang, Ilia appears and doesn’t look younger than in canon. But we know Ghira stepped down at least a few years ago. If Blake is meant to be a teenager in volume 1… there’s just no way Ilia could have been there and already been an adult. She’s supposed to have still been a kid when Ghira was leader, unless she’s at least a few years older than Blake – which I don’t think she’s meant to be? Yeah sorry, this kind of stuff just bothers me. I get that timelines can be hard to keep track off, but that was a really obvious mistake and it ruins my immersion a bit.

- I loved the whole opening fight on the train and just seeing team RWBY fighting together again.

- I’ve got to say, I do feel bad for Weiss: After everything she went through to leave Atlas, she now suddenly has to go back there. I mean, that must suck.

- I’m a bit sad they just but Ilia on a bus, but I get that her main conflict is pretty much over and they had to go back to focusing on the main characters’ quest. I still wish we’d have at least gotten a scene of her interacting with the other members of team RWBY, though.

- I really liked Ilia and Blake’s goodbye at the train station, though. (And the whole “wrong tree” moment with Neptune really made me laugh 😂)

- Also just wanted to say I love Ilia’s new outfit (and the fact that she has spots on her belly – this is really important information, okay?)

- There’s a certain irony in the Faunus becoming more accepted because they STOPPED Adam’s attack on Haven.

- I think Jinn and the whole concept of how asking her questions works is super cool.

- I totally get why everyone’s pissed at Ozpin both before, during and after Jinn revealed his and Salem’s backstory. He has been hiding an awful lot from everyone, even after promising not to anymore, and he actively tried to stop the team from finding out the truth. Plus, the whole fact that he doesn’t have a plan for defeating Salem and is potentially risking everyone’s lives for nothing. (That said, can they not take it out on poor Oscar, please? None of this is his fault.)

- Oscar fighting Ozpin from within and telling them how to summon Jinn was a really badass scene. And I feel super bad for Oscar overall. Not only is he kind of at war with someone who lives in his brain now, but he also just found out that he’ll eventually only become a part of Ozma. And on top of that, people are punching and blaming him for stuff that’s not his fault. That’s super harsh.

- I’m kind of glad Cinder’s alive, because as I said, I was hoping they’d develop her more and make her a more interesting villain… but I don’t feel like this volume did that. Right now, she’s still pretty superficial, unfortunately.

- And now, time to get into one of the highlights of this volume for me: Salem’s backstory! Because holy shit, that was one hell of a backstory! When I said back in my post about volume 5 that I hope Cinder’s alive because I would like to see them make her a more interesting villain, I didn’t expect them to do just that, but for Salem. I love villains that are interesting, but I didn’t expect Salem, the literal big bad of the show, to be the interesting one here! I am pleasantly surprised by this, though! (And just to be clear, because some people love to misunderstand this: When I say “interesting”, I don’t mean “She has a sad backstory, this excuses everything she’s doing”, I mean “She has a sad backstory, this makes her more compelling as a villain”.)

- So, about that backstory: Do we all agree that the gods are major jerks, or what? I mean, initially not bringing Ozma back to life was fair, death is a part of life, they can’t upset the balance, I get that – but making him repeatedly disintegrate in Salem’s arms after she just thought she’d gotten him back? And then making her immortal just to make sure she couldn’t be with him? And then killing ALL of humanity just because of the actions of a few? But still not letting Salem die? And then bringing Ozma back after all (because now it suddenly doesn’t ‘disrupt the balance’ or what?) and kind of tricking him into that whole relics task because he wanted to be with Salem? The god are jerks, I rest my case - and I’m not sure if bringing them back is a good idea.

- Also… I get that she’s like… evil and all… but am I the only one who thought Salem got way sexier after jumping into the pools of grimm? Is that just me? Because damn… I’m kinda into that version of her. (Come on, she’s a sexy goth witch and I’m a simple lesbian, what do you expect?)

- So yeah… in an unexpected turn of events, Salem might be one of my favourite characters now? Oops? (*insert obligatory ‘this does not mean I condone her actions in any way’ disclaimer here*)

- I feel super bad for Salem and Ozma’s kids, though. I hate kids getting hurt in media in general. (I imagine the grief over them stayed with Ozma forever. And I like the theory that he gave the original four maidens their powers because they reminded him of his daughters. In general, I don’t consider him to be the bad guy in this backstory at any point. His only mistake is not being honest with the people who are helping and protecting him in the present.)

- I am now convinced that this entire show has to end with Salem and Ozma dying. That’s the only way all of this can end. Salem will have to either be killed somehow or learn the lesson the gods tried to teach her and die. Ozma will have to fulfill his task and die as well – either through Oscar dying with him (😢), through only Ozma dying but Oscar getting to live without him, or through the reincarnation cycle ending and Ozma/Ozpin recognizing that Oscar is going to be his last life. Something like that would be my prediction.

- Speaking of interesting villains: This volume also did a great job with Emerald and Mercury! With those two, I’m actually hoping for a redemption now. (And Hazel is a great guy as well. The fact that he was willing to take the blame for their failure at Haven to protect Emerald and Mercury is something I really respect.)

- I also I want to say I find Tyrion super entertaining.

- It was great to see Neo again! (I’ve gotten so used to Chibi!Neo it was almost weird to see regular Neo again.) Her fight with Cinder was EPIC.

- (I basically feel like this volume did a great job on all villains except for Cinder. But hey, maybe that’ll still happen.)

- This was an interesting volume for Qrow. On the one hand, I get why hearing Oz’s backstory drove him into a sort-of depression and made his drinking habit worse and I feel bad for him, but from the point-of-view of Ruby and the others, it must have also been super frustrating that the one proper adult in the group couldn’t keep it together and everyone else had to keep doing the hard work.

- Maria is a super cool and epic character! I really hope she sticks around with the team for Volume 7 because she’s amazing and I love her. She was super badass in her backstory (that moment where she lost her eyes was painful just to watch), I love the fact that she was Qrow’s hero growing up (and that he based his weapon on hers!), that we finally met another character who has (well, had) silver eyes, and that she’s that funny, cranky, but also wise old lady now who mentors Ruby and is just super funny all around. Good stuff, I hope we see more of her!

- The Apathy are the creepiest grim yet. The whole concept of them draining you of your will to live without you even noticing is just SO scary – I love it, but I’m also low-key terrified. The crew’s trip to that farm estate could have easily gone very wrong. Pretty much nothing but Ruby’s silver eyes even worked on them. I like how those episodes set the whole thing up – Team RWBY having emotional conversations while they were in the house, everyone having doubts (which makes sense at that point in the story, so you don’t really question it at first), and then the sneaking realization of what’s going on. Also, the guy who sealed in those Apathy grim in in the first place was just so dumb. How could you think that was a good idea? Good job getting everyone killed, dude.

- I’m glad this volume gave us more on Ruby’s silver eyes! I like that she finally got to use them before the season finale (though I loved that joke on RWBY Chibi), and I also like that she first used them to protect Blake. (I don’t ship them as much as Bumbleby, but I feel like Ruby and Blake’s ship/friendship is super underrated.) It was also nice to learn more about how the Silver eyes work in general and how they came to be. (If they came from the god of light, I’m assuming all the people with silver eyes are the descendants of Ozma’s past lives? TV Tropes kind of helped me out here: Apparently if you freeze the picture where you see one of his past lives with his kids, you can see the kids have silver eyes.) People with silver eyes being hunted also comes as no surprise to me, that’s kind of what I was assuming already. (Which raises the question: Just how did Summer Rose die?) Also, interesting fact that they only work on the Grimm...

- That moment where they reunite with JNR in Argus was really sweet. I also loved the design of Argus as a whole.

- I LOVE Saphron, Terra, and their son!!! I love that we got to meet one of Jaune’s sisters, I love that we got some more LGBT+ representation, and their baby is adorable!! (I loved that scene of everyone cooing over the baby. Also, that moment where Ruby realized Jaune and Saphron were siblings. Also, that moment where the baby helped them distract the guards by crying.) Basically, I just love the Cotta-Arcs. (Also, I just want to say that Saphron is super pretty.)

- Cordovin and her two goons are hilarious. I mean, I also hate them because they’re overly patriotic Atlas-people and Cordovin was racist to Blake – but they’re also super freaking hilarious. Every little line of Maria and Cordovin’s beef with each other had my dying with laughter 🤣 (mainly it was Maria’s lines that had me dying with laughter).

- That whole scene with the statue of Pyrrha was such a tearjerker 😢. First the leaf, then the sad music, then Jaune talking to that red-haired lady (I’m guessing she’s either Pyrrha’s mom or sister?), and then Ren and Nora joining and giving Jaune a pep-talk 😭 😭. I think this was a really important moment for Jaune, not just to get closure, but also to stop blaming himself and putting himself down. I’m glad Ren and Nora told him they don’t want to lose him too, and that the red-haired lady said she’s “glad Pyrrha was surrounded by such amazing people”. Gosh, now I’m tearing up again writing this 😭. I miss Pyrrha 😭 😭.

- I love Oscar’s new outfit. It was time for him to finally drop the farm boy look.

- I love how Jaune is so down for crime that his plan is just “They only let Atlas airships though, so we steal an Atlas airship.” I mean, makes sense.

- I think their whole plan to steal the airship was super cool and although I get why things can’t be that easy in shows like this (and I love that we got the showdown with Adam), I still kind of wish it had worked just because it was a really cool plan and everyone had their part to play in it. Heck, even the baby got to help (and it was awesome)! But yeah, Adam just had to ruin everything, nothing new there.

- So, about Adam: First of all, he’s a major creep for victim-blaming Blake (again) and stalking her. I like how creepy his behaviour is from a story-telling perspective (and from an angst-loving “I like seeing my faves suffer” perspective), but his story was getting a little old, so I’m not too sad they killed him off now. It was a good point in the story to do it. (That said, holy shit is he a creep! “I wouldn’t have to be doing this if you just behaved”? Wow. I get that he’s meant to be abusive and controlling; that’s the point of his character (and like I said, I’m here for the angst), but… yikes, poor Blake.)

- And then we had Blake and Yang’s rematch with Adam. EPIC STUFF. First of all, I like that Blake was able to hold her own against him for a bit (and same for Yang later). I also love the whole dramatic setting by the waterfall and the fact that Blake lost her coat (this is important, okay? it symbolizes vulnerability – and also it just looks cool), the scar on Blake’s belly (from their fight at Beacon, right?), the face reveal of Adam – I just love how all of this was set up in such an epic, dramatic way. But the most epic moment, at least from the start of the fight, has got to be Yang just jumping down there with her motorcycle hitting Adam and that amazing music. I’ve said before that Yang is just too cool for words and I will stand by that. The fight itself was epic too, though I was so stressed the whole time I couldn’t completely pay attention. Blake and Yang fighting Adam together was definitely the best part, though. And I loved the irony of Yang’s metal arm saving her. In general, I like that Yang and Blake got to fight and defeat (and kill) Adam together because he’s been a demon for both of them, and I like that they clarified they’re doing it as equal partners. “We’re protecting each other” was a nice callback to earlier when Blake tried to reassure Yang she’d protect her, and to even earlier when Yang was protecting Blake at Beacon.

- Let’s talk about my other highlight of the volume: Bumbleby! Because sorry not sorry, there’s no way you can deny their romantic subtext anymore at this point. Early in the volume, there’s the conflict of things being weird between them, and Blake not knowing how to deal with her guilt and thinking she needs to protect Yang (and do stuff like getting her bag down for her) – while Yang feels insulted by this and thinks that Blake sees her as being incapable of doing anything now that she lost an arm. Then, when Blake first leaves to disable the comms, they give each other those really sweet, loving looks. And of course, it all leads up to them confronting their nightmare together, holding hands, and declaring that they’re protecting each other. Add Adam’s jealousy to that (He was making comparisons between himself and Yang and asking “What does she even see in you?” – that’s not a sentence you just say to your ex’s friend) and you’d have to be willfully ignorant to not see the subtext. And those soft moments after the fight just killed me: Blake breaking down crying, Yang immediately running to hug and comfort her, Blake’s promise not to leave, Yang reassuring her and wiping away her tears – I LOVE hurt/comfort stuff and I’m so soft for these two! They love each other so much!

(Pretty much the only downside of all this is that a few major parts were spoiled for me in advance. Look, it’s pretty impossible to follow lots of blogs that post wlw ships and not see that picture of Bumbleby holding hands, or the one of them hugging (or the one of them killing Adam) at some point. So yeah… I’d seen all three of those pictures before and knew this would happen. But it was still really nice to see it all come together and see how we got there!)

- The fight against Cordovin and her giant mecha was also pretty cool! It reminded me a bit of the Legend of Korra finale. Ruby going inside the arm canon was an especially epic moment. And I also liked that small moment when they were flying on the Queen Lancer and Ruby had her arms around Weiss’ waist (a bit of White Rose, yay!).

- I like that moment when the Grimm attack and the team first realizes they just destroyed the only thing capable of stopping them – but to be honest, that was mostly Cordovin’s fault. She brought out that mecha for something it wasn’t meant for and started the fight that attracted the Grimm in the first place. Also, how exactly did she think the people of Atlas would take it if she had actually hurt Weiss? So yeah, most of that mess was on her, tbh. I’m glad she at least came though to help in the end, though.

- Back to Bumbleby: Honestly, the strongest romantic undertones weren’t even in the fight with Adam or directly afterwards for me, but in the last episode when they’re all on the ship together. So, Blake is blaming herself for the plan going wrong, and Yang has an arm around, her, still half holding her and reassuring her. And then – and this one really gets me – Ruby hugs Blake and gives Yang that knowing look over her shoulder while Yang suddenly looks away shyly. They’re communicating without words and Ruby totally knows what’s up. She’s basically saying “So you and Blake, huh?” and suddenly Yang – YANG – is feeling shy. This isn’t subtle. And then later Bumbleby hold hands again and look at each other like that… they’re in love, I don’t make the rules.

- And finally, we of course have Ruby’s epic silver-eyed moment in the finale, which was AMAZING. I loved all the flashbacks and how they’re drawn pictures and not just stills from the episodes, I love how the memories of her friends motivate her, I love how much of Penny there was in there (bit of Nuts and Dolts, yay!), I loved seeing adorable little!Yang, and of course the first look at Summer Rose! (I still want a Team STRQ backstory episode at some point.) Also, the music during that scene was so good!

Gosh, now I’ve talked for way too long again, but there was just so much to say about this volume! Long story short: Loved it, can’t wait to continue! (I know exactly 1 major spoiler for volume 7 because it was unavoidable on social media, but that’s it. And it’s a spoiler I really didn’t mind knowing, so…)

[cousinwingding97]

Silver Memories

Chapter Two: The Chase

Words: over 5k

No warnings. I swear there will be more Mando and the reader. Just wait! Next chapter for sure. I cut this one off at a cliffhanger, but it was getting to be sooo long. Also, very hard to write an amnesiac character so hopefully it’s working. Enjoy!

Sleep must have overtaken you because you found yourself jostled awake by a woman shaking your shoulder. “Excuse me, miss. Stowaways aren’t allowed free travel. Come on, wake up.”

You groaned with the sudden waking and then jumped when you realized you had been caught. The woman who had found you didn’t look angry, just frustrated more than anything. Her dark, curly hair was pulled up and she had a bit of grease on her coveralls.

“Don’t groan at me. You haven’t even started working. I have, and I could use an extra set of hands with my workload. Now, come on,” she holds her hand out to me, “let’s go and get started.”

She doesn’t seem mean. Just rushed. You hesitantly grab her hand as she pulls you up. You don’t have a chance to ask questions or explain. The woman starts walking towards where you assume is her workstation. She more than makes up for your lack of words.

“Next time, don’t hide in the cargo area after moving a crate. Especially if it is one of the only crates left. Most people pay attention. Try the engine room next time. Unless it’s a military ship, most people aren’t around their engines unless something’s wrong. I don’t know if you’re hiding out here or just trying to catch a ride. Pollis Massa is typically a safe haven, so I don’t know why you decided to leave. Why did you? What’s your name?”

You were trying to keep track of all she had said. There was a lot to process and download into your brain. The question about your name didn’t help. You should’ve known the answer to that question at least.

“I... uh don’t know. I woke up there and there were people I didn’t recognize that seemed violent, so I left. I don’t know anything past the fact that I just want to be somewhere else.”

“A woman who wants to make her own way and isn’t afraid of how she gets there. I like it. My name’s Marri. I’m the chief mechanic on the Serpent. You know anything about mechanics?”

“Uh, no.” This woman surprised you. You were glad she wasn’t interrogating you. She seemed more about getting business done rather than getting you in trouble. You couldn’t even answer any of her questions anyway.

Marri just grunts, “Eh, you can hold the tools. Can you do what you’re told?”

“Yeah, I don’t see why not.”

“Good. Let’s get to it.”

“But, what about the stowaway business?” You asked hesitantly. All of this seemed too good to be true. How were you not going to get in trouble?

“Listen, honey, we have work to do on this ship. Lots of it. The captain ain’t too much of a stickler. She just wants to get the job done and done well. If you can help and work your way through this trip to Utapau then you aren’t just a freeloader.” This woman surprised you. You were glad she wasn’t interrogating you. She seemed more about getting business done rather than getting you in trouble, but you were still surprised she would just let it go that easily, especially to a stowaway.

While you tried to help Marri, you didn’t feel like you were contributing much, but Marri didn’t say otherwise. You got the sense that she was too into her own work and would only talk if there wasn’t anything else to do. You didn’t mind. Your mind was loud, but the work was constant enough to keep you focused on something else besides all the unanswered questions.

When Marri decided things were done, she took you up to the main area that looked like it was for the crew to relax. Some of the crew were already in there and you grew nervous. Marri may not care and supposedly not the captain, but what about the others?

“Everyone, this is Stowaway. Stowaway, meet everyone,” Marri announced.

You stood there unwillingly in a spotlight while eyes stared at you. None stayed on you for too long. Some just halfheartedly grunted a response and others straight up said nothing. Okay, I don’t know if I should be offended or relieved.

Marri didn’t seem surprised by the response either. “You wouldn’t be the first. Like I said, Polis Massa is sort of a sanctuary and people look for passage to a new life from there more often than not. We’ve learned to deal with it and consider it a job hazard.”

“Oh.” That’s what you were wanting to do, right? Find a new one or your old one? “Honestly, I don’t know what I’m looking for besides safety.”

Marri gave you a tight smile and went to the line for food. You followed, not wanting to be too far away from her. She may be right with the others not caring about you being a stowaway, but you didn’t want to push your luck either. Dinner was spent in silence as you thought over what Marri had asked you about what you wanted from this newfound chance of a new beginning.

You didn’t know how long you had been on the ship exactly when you woke to the sound of Marri waking you for the second time. The two of you had went to her barracks and she had given you extra blankets to sleep on the floor of the ship. It wasn’t completely uncomfortable and you had fallen sound asleep not long after you laid your head down. Now, she was urgently waking you.

“The captain wants to speak to you about an important matter.”

Trepidation filled your veins at her words. Maybe the captain wasn’t as easygoing as you had been led to believe. Maybe someone had complained about you.

You wanted to stay hidden in the barracks, but you knew that wouldn’t be an option. There were too many on the ship and you were just one person. You hated feeling helpless, but you knew you had to follow. Maybe I can explain the situation and talk my way out of being thrown into the vacuum of space.

The longer you walked, the harder your heart pounded against your ribcage. Marri looked over at you and tried to smile encouragingly. The act was appreciated, yet your heart continued its pounding. What are they going to do to me?

Automatic doors parted with a hiss and revealed the bridge. A half circle of a viewport showing a blue tunnel of with lights blazing past in flashes. It looked like you were traveling lightspeed, the word and concept coming into your mind as soon as you saw it.

The crew was stationed at various terminals around the bridge and on a lower level. One woman was standing above it all and overlooking the bridge. She had buzzed hair and a severe look rounded on you as you came into view. Marri saluted her and the captain returned the gesture. Marri turned to you, “This is Captain Roxy.”

You tried to smile and begin explain, but the captain cut you off, “Marri told me of you. Believe me girl, I have no problem with you on the Serpent. Especially since you are willing to work. Unfortunately, something has come up that I can’t ignore.” You didn’t know what she was talking about and your eyebrow raised in confusion. The captain read the expression on your face and offered up, “Let me just show you.”

She turned to one of the many terminals and the man sitting in front of the flashing buttons let his hands fly across the individual pieces in what looked like a rehearsed dance.

In front of the captain was what looked like an ordinary table, but once the man’s hands stilled, the table lit up with a blue see-through image. Your heart sank at the image. It was the man that Cara had been talking to, Mando. His helmet seemed to stare through you. The whole bridge was silent with what you assumed was the same fear you felt. You knew you weren’t the only one who had reason to be afraid. The image, or hologram your inner voice supplied, was image was terrifying just by itself.

The filtered voice began with something you could only described as restrained violence, “I believe you all have someone of importance to me. She is under my protection and care. I have tracked her to your ship and I will be tracking you to your destination once you land, rest assured of that. If she is not there, safe and unharmed, everyone on the Serpent is dead. Don’t think you can hide and don’t try running. You know what I am. It will make it worse for you once I find you.” The hologram cuts out and you feel a bead of sweat travel down your back. You feel all eyes on you, but you can’t tear your eyes from where the helmet had just been. The black visor was burned into your eyes.

Captain Roxy finally speaks up, “This transmission just came in not too long ago. We have already responded to it with the promise of your safe return. If I had known you were a part of the Mandolorian’s clan, I would have turned around as soon as Marri found you. I cannot risk the life of my crew for a fugitive from a bounty hunter or whatever you are.”

You finally turned to face her. You were wanted by a bounty hunter? That must have been why they wanted you. You were worth money and the rest of the group had wanted to receive whatever reward someone had placed for you. The word “Mandolorian” didn’t ring any bells either, but you assumed that was what Mando was short for. You doubted it was because you were a part of his clan, but more of a wanted bounty. For what, you had no idea.

The implications of what you had done fully hit you like a starship to the gut. I ran. I ran from some dangerous people and worse, they can find me easily. They aren’t going to take too kindly to their payday running away. What is going to happen to me when they find me? Will he just kill me to make it easier to bring in?

Before you could plead your case, the captain spoke, “My mind is decided. We will wait at Utapau for the Mandolorian to pick you up in order to make sure he sees we kept you safe.” Her voice softened as she spoke the next words, “For the sake of my crew, please let him know that we did not know we had you on board.” She turns away from you and Marri is pulling you along away from the bridge.

Finally, your words come back to you. “Marri, please. I can’t go back to them. I don’t even know what I have done to have a bounty. I don’t want anyone hurt, but I can’t stay here. I don’t even know who I am, let alone what I’ve done. This has to be a mistake!”

Marri doesn’t look at you. There is a guilty look in her eyes and you can tell your words are getting to her. “Please, help me. Don’t let him take me.”

“Look, I understand. You seem like a nice girl. I don’t want to do it either and honestly; I don’t think the captain even wants to give you up. Not many people like dealing with bounty hunters. That kind has a reputation. But Mandolorians are a proud and violent race. They don’t just give up. They keep their word too. He meant what he said about our crew.” She finally turns to look at you and grabs your shoulders for emphasis. There are tears in her eyes, “You are not the only one who is scared. We all are. He might kill us just to send a message to others. I’m sorry, truly. You don’t even know who you are, but just think for a moment, maybe you were someone terrible.” The last words are spoken more like a question. She doesn’t believe them either.

Your heart clenches at the possibility that she might be right; however, that doesn’t mean you can just give up. You don’t feel like you are a bad person. Despite the will to live, you don’t wish anything bad upon these people just because of your choices.

“Is there anything I can do? Do I have a chance?” You’re begging for any sort of hope or idea and you don’t care if you sound pathetic.

Marri looks at you for a long time. Her dark skin reflects the tears and you can’t help feeling bad for even asking it of her. She’s terrified.

“I don’t know, honestly. Unless you happen to know how to fight, I don’t know if there is anything any of us can do. They are hunters. They get what they are after.”

She’s given up. She doesn’t have any ideas. Why would she help me though? She barely knows me and she’s known her crew for longer.

You will have to come up with your own plan. She leads you back to her barracks, but neither of you can sleep. You are too anxious to even try to close your eyes.

All too soon, you feel the ship starting to land. Your breath hitches and you know there’s no time left.

Marri gently leads you to the ramp. You are met with what you take to be Utapau. The hanger you are in is open aired. There’s a cliff to your right showing you how trapped you are. Your eyes lead up to the walls of what appears to be a giant hole or cavern that you are in currently. There are creatures flying in and out of the hole. You see them land on another pad further away along with some other creatures that look like they are made for running, not flying. There are buildings sticking out from the sides of the cliffs and everything has an industrial, desert look to it.

Unless you steal one of the ships, not an option, or steal the flying creatures, you are stuck in the hole. To your left, the rest of the level you are on of this landing pad has nothing to your advantage. There are machines that look like transportation, but you still don’t know how to operate them. The rest of the crew is unloading while you desperately look for any escape.

None of the inhabitants are paying you any attention. None of them look like they could help you. Most are short and non-threatening with bulging eye sockets and round figures. The taller grey ones with lines running down their faces that look almost like scares seem to be in charge. They have sharp teeth and wear blood red. They look threatening, but too threatening for you to approach.

Marri leads you out of the way of the crew and closer to the edge of the drop off. You look down to see just how high up you still are within this crater. You can’t help but feel like you are in a grave.

The bottom is so far down that you can only make out specks of blue. Marri startles you from your thoughts, “The bottom is water and caves. There’s not much beyond the top. There are similar layouts. This planet is full of sinkholes and cities within. You won’t get far, unless you know how to fly. Your best bet is the water. They can’t track in water as well as land,” she whispers in your ear.

“Why are you telling me this? Unless I miraculously survive a fall, I can’t get down there.”

“I know. But there is a chance if you get one of those varactyls.” She gestures to the lizard looking creatures that you spotted earlier.

You look incredulously at her. She is actually trying to help you? After everything she said to you?

“Look, I don’t know who you are or if you have done anything wrong, but if you are innocent, I don’t want that on my conscience. I can’t help you much more than this, but I could cause a distraction. I have to think of my friends on that ship.”

“I understand. I am grateful. Believe me, I don’t want you to get hurt or killed because of me.” She seems relieved at your words. “I will wait until he sees that I am alright and you guys are safe, ok?”

Again, tears flood her eyes, “Thank you.”

She leads you away from the edge and back to the crew. You don’t have restraints on, but you keep your word. You wait for the Mandolorian to arrive.

Every ship entering the hole brings your heart into your throat with panic. For what feels like hours, but it is never him. You almost fool yourself into thinking that he won’t come.

No such luck. One ship that feels different from the rest enters the atmosphere and you can almost feel the danger radiating off that ship before you even see it. It is not a large ship by any means, but the two guns on the front of the curved hull and the battle scars gives away the true nature of it.

Marri stands besides you and you follow. The whole crew waits as the ship comes closer to the landing platform. You feel something pressed into your hand as you realize it’s a blaster. Marri leans into your ear and whispers, “Only use it if you have to.” You nod and tuck it into your waistband and cover it with your shirt.

Without another word, she walks up to Roxy and the rest of the crew follows. You are in the back of the crowd and all eyes are facing towards the ship that has now turned to land on its bottom with the hull facing up instead of out. Everyone is enraptured and you know you could try to escape now, but you told Marri you would wait until Mando saw that they hadn’t harmed you.

That’s when you notice something out of the corner of your eye. One of the smaller inhabitants trying to wrangle one of the winged lizards is stuck in the reins. Its stubby legs wrapped up and the creature is starting to take off. The poor bug-eyed thing was frantically waving its arms to try to grab the reins as it started to go over the edge, but it was upside down and couldn’t reach.

You couldn’t explain what happened next. You saw that in a moment and the next you were running as fast as you could towards the flying lizard, that was now almost over the edge completely, and reaching out to grab the little guy’s hand.

Now, here you were. Dangling over a hole that led to certain death should you fall. Focusing on the task, you grabbed onto the reins above the leg and pulled yourself up. Once you were above the alien, you carefully loosened the knot. He must’ve mistaken what you were doing and thought you were trying to kill him. He thrashed around even harder causing the lizard to jerk and try to hold you both. It was a scrawny one and smaller than its larger brethren, so your nerves shot up even more.

“Calm down, I’m trying to help you!”

That must have gotten through to him. The frantic squeaks stopped and he held still.

You had loosened the knot enough that you reached down as best you could and grabbed his hand. With a quick jerk, you tugged him out of the reins and swung him back towards the platform into the arms of his comrades.

The celebration and alien sounding cheers didn’t last as the creature decided it had enough of you. Thrashing wildly and randomly, your hands lost their grip and you’re thrown far. You only have a moment to realize you are heading towards the pit of the flightless lizards before panic fully sets in. You were high up; this was probably going to break some bones at best and kill you at worst.

You close your eyes preparing for the pain. A sudden stop in motion without any pain makes your eyes fly open in surprise. One of the varactyls, a giant blue one had caught you in its mouth like you were a toy to fetch. Thankfully, it had caught your shirt in its beak and not your flesh.

There’s commotion outside of the pit and a bit of a crowd is starting to rush into the pit. You know one of them is going to be Mando, so you have two options: take your chances or take this lizard for ride. The answer was obvious.

Patting the beak behind you, you try to convince the beast to let you go, “Hey, let go. Come on, come on. I’m not a toy.” You pat harder to get the point across and with a huff of boredom it does as it’s told. You don’t give it a chance to get far. This one had been saddled already and, in the commotion, had been forgotten. You weren’t going to look a gift lizard in the mouth.

You throw yourself into the saddle and give a spirited whip of the reins. The beast doesn’t hesitate either and lets out an excited yip before lunging forward.

If you hadn’t been holding onto the reins as tight as you had been, you would’ve fallen off. The varactyl was far faster than you expected. You heard some shouts behind you, but you didn’t look back in fear of what you might see.

The paths ahead of you were speeding by towards deeper into this hole and network of tunnels. Stalactites and stalagmites made up most of the natural architecture along with flora, but no signs of where any path lead. So, you chose one that looked like it may take you down towards the bottom of the pit like Marri said.

Everything sped by in a blur of tans and bursts of color from the plants that lined the path. You chanced a look behind you and no one was following you from what you could tell. At least there was some good news.

The bad news was that you had no idea where you were heading and no idea what to do now. There probably wasn’t a chance of actually hiding from a bounty hunter, but you were going to give it your best shot until you could stowaway on another ship.

Thankfully, the main paths seemed to lead in a spiral pattern either up or down levels and split off into smaller paths leading to the inner most parts of the planet. You had lucked out and you knew it was only a matter of time before that luck ended. Especially using so much to save that little one from the falling to his death. There wasn’t any other explanation you could think of for that move. The fact that you weren’t dead was a surprise at this point.

It didn’t take as long as you expected for you to reach the very bottom of the pit. The varactyl was extremely fast and sped through the levels like it had its own hyperdrive.

Once you saw the end of the path leading to docks where small fishing boats were lazily floating and very few life forms to witness your presence, you pulled back on the reins and hopped off. The varactyl walked towards the water and drank deeply.

You didn’t know where to go from here. The path just led straight into the water almost like a ramp. There were caves you could see all around. The water wasn’t deep until near the middle of the pit and Marri had said to keep to the water.

Cautiously, you stepped into the water. It was pleasant and clear. You could see the bottom and the stone underneath was smooth beneath your feet. You could survive in this water without fear of freezing.

Do I know how to swim? These simple questions that only you, or people who knew you, should be able to answer and having no answers yourself, was infuriating. You couldn’t remember anything about yourself, yet you knew basic concepts. The unfairness of everything was boiling your blood and your frustration was growing the more you thought about it.

No! I don’t have time for this. I’ll try floating and see if I can. The water looks shallow enough for the most part, so even if I can’t I could at least try wading towards some caves.

You knew that stealing a boat was not an option since all of them were being used. Swimming anywhere was better than nothing.

You were about to step out further into the water when a thought hit you. They could track me by following that creature. It’s a dead giveaway. You looked back at the bright blue beast that stuck out like a flashing sign advertising your whereabouts.

You walked over to it and gently waved your hands in a shooing motion, “Thanks for the catch and the ride, but you should go.” It didn’t budge. Just looked at you with intelligent eyes and tilting its head in a questioning look. You sighed. “Ugh, come on. You should go. Go free if you want! Just run somewhere!” You started waving your arms a little more aggressively, “Shoo! Go!” You walked up to it closer and louder. The beast finally lost interest and left towards where it came from. You breathed a sigh of relief and walked back to the water.

It looked more intimidating now that you were trying to think of how to swim. Maybe it would be an instinct more than anything. So, you stopped thinking and tried to spear the water surrounding you to your arms in front of you and almost laying out. Your stomach reflexively tightened with strain of keeping you afloat. Ok, so at least I can float. It’s not pretty, but I can float.

Establishing the fact that you could float and possibly swim, your newest and best plan was to hide in the caves and steal whatever food you could. It sounded a lot simpler than it was going to be, but what choice did you have? The blaster in your waistband wasn’t going to do much good if you missed.

The docks were under an overhang, blocking it from the hanger’s view. Swimming out into the open was a stupid idea. Your best bet was to stay close to the sides and close to the docks for food.

You didn’t know what Marri had meant about not being able to track you in the water, but you would do your best to stay in the water and take that fact at face value. So, you swam to a cave off to the left of the docks, tucked away behind cliff faces and rock outcroppings.

You swam for a while along the edges of the rocks until you could still see the docks in the distance. You found a cave along the way, but would have to wait and see if this cave would even work for your needs.

I don’t even know what my needs are. The mouth of the cave opened to a sandy inner sanctuary. You could rest there and sort out what you would need. What if I can’t eat? What if I need something specific? Am I allergic to anything?

You laid down in the sand, staring up to the ceiling of the cave. What if running away had just killed you? Fear chilled your heart. I think I just made the biggest mistake I could make. Hot tears of frustration and hopelessness pricked the corners of your eyes. You had no idea who or even what you were and you had left anyone who did know in fear of being killed or sold off when you just may have killed yourself unknowingly.

“You stupid, stupid girl. What did you just do?” You held back a sob. All the emotions that had been in the back of your head since the moment you woke in that cell were coming to a boiling point now that you were laying down in the best form of safety you could find at the moment.

You wrapped an arm around your eyes and tried to calm your breathing. If you panicked now or got too emotional, you could die for sure if you let the weight of everything crash down and suffocate your actions. You had to hold off for now. You could cry when you were truly safe.

Those thoughts were pushed deep down and you sat up. You cupped your hand and drank deeply to quench your thirst that had built up. When was the last time I had food? That thought brought a grumble to your stomach. At least now I know I need sustenance in some form and I don’t just draw energy from the air or something weird.

The thought of going back out of hiding so soon was not appealing at the moment in case they had tracked you as far as to the docks. Once night fell, there could be a chance to steal some food if you found some by the fisherman’s homes. Stealing wasn’t your first option, but you didn’t have money or any way to fish. You still had the blaster that Marri gave you, but there wasn’t a good chance that a blaster shot wouldn’t destroy any source of food and leave enough behind.

You made your way further into the gave and away from the water. Utapau was warmer than on a ship, but you were still careful not to be close to the water in case it rose and soaked you. You were still wearing the thin clothes from Polis Massa’s medical center. If it got chilly at night on this planet, you would have to steal some clothes.

There wasn’t a memory, but there was a feeling of guilt and shame about possibly having to steal from innocent beings in order to survive. Maybe that means I’m not a bad person. Or I am and I don’t remember how to shove these feelings down yet. That thought wasn’t appealing to you. If you had been a terrible person up until the loss of memories, you weren’t in a rush to get them back.

I’ll argue about morality with myself later, you mused to yourself and let sleep take ahold of you once again for lack of anything else to do. The day had been quite exciting and your body was ready to catch its breath.

You awoke to a light chill blowing into the cave. You looked towards the mouth of the cave and only darkness met your eyes, so you walked out to the water that was still fairly warm. The night was gorgeous. You could see so many stars that it looked like a city in the sky with a moon or planet so close it took up the rest of the sky.

There were quiet squawks from above, probably the lizard like creatures. There were no other sounds besides the quiet rippling of the water.

Looking towards where you thought the docks were, you saw lights along the main bath and the water reflected the light from the stars well enough to light your way.

Now or never, I guess.

You swam towards the docks in search of anything that might be of use. You were careful not to splash and gently cut through the water to not draw attention.

There was a main dock house and about ten houses near the water. You weren’t exactly expecting food to be left out on a windowsill, but you hadn’t thought it would be this hard to find anything.

You walked around the houses, trying to look inconspicuous while you did. There were tools and nets out around, boats left tied to the posts, shoes (which none fit your tiny five-toed feet instead of the two prong shapes), and paddles. You did find a spear lying against the side of a house, which you decided to take and use some rope to sling it around your back.

There was a clothesline that did have a grey wraparound cloak that you took as well for warmth. Still, no food though.

You decided to call it a night when you caught something out of the corner of your eye. A glint of starlight off of something silver. There’s no way. There’s no way. Just be calm.

You walked slowly, trying to not look scared or like you had been caught. You wrapped the cloak around you and used that as a chance to pull the blaster out of your waistband and keep it hidden.

Nothing popped up and no one shouted at you. You were stuck though; if you left back towards safety, they would easily spot you and follow you to your hiding place and if you walked back up the path, then they would spot you and have no fuss with locals. Maybe I’m just being paranoid.

In order to keep the locals safe, you chose to walk back up the path. There could be a shootout and you didn’t want anyone to be hurt in case you were right.

It took every ounce of control to not run or try to hide. If they hadn’t spotted you or if they weren’t even there, there was no point in running. Your heart was pounding though and you felt sweat run down the side of you face. You had to concentrate on each step being slow and steady.

You walked in the middle of the path away from the lights on either side in order to not be as easily seen. You were holding your breath to listen for any sound at all, but it was like the night was just you and your footsteps. Even the squawking had died.

Then, just barely louder than the tiny scuffle of your footsteps, was the sound of someone following. It sounded like metal or spurs or some kind. You almost stopped walking when you heard it, but you kept going like nothing was wrong. Like you weren’t being stalked.

I am not prey.

Without a second to keep thinking or start to panic, you whipped the blaster around and came face to face with the silver helmet much closer than you expected. The blaster was aimed right at his armored chest.

“Walk away right now or get shot,” You did your best threatening voice and tried not to let your hands shake.

The silver helmet just continued to stare at you. The black of the visor swallowed your vision until it was like staring into a void. He still said nothing.

He just looked down at the blaster and you followed his gaze. His gloved hands were on his belt, not his weapons. He wasn’t actively threatening you, but maybe he thought he could take you without them. When he looked back up to your face, he softly spoke, “Your blaster’s safety is on.”

[canarygirl1017]

Ghosted - Chapter 1

Pairing: Reader / Jungkook, Reader / Taehyung (past relationship, friends to lovers to friends)

Genre:  College!au, fluff, angst, supernatural drama, smut, friends to lovers, emotional trauma, hurt/comfort

Length:  11, 400k words

Warnings:  language, episodes of anxiety, panic attacks, sexual themes in later chapters 

Summary:  Living in a world full of things only you have the ability to see, growing up with Jungkook has been your island amidst the chaos. But when your best friend makes an impossible request, your friendship is fractured, and your sudden decision to cut ties and move abroad changes everything. Three years later, Jungkook is thriving at university as he begins his junior year. He’s a star athlete, member of a popular fraternity, and every girl’s ideal boyfriend. He tells himself that he’s long forgotten you and the friendship he never had a chance to mend – that is, until you show up on campus as a transfer student with new friends in tow. It’s been three years, and everything has changed, but the biggest change is you. Your new found determination to use your abilities to help the ghosts you used to live in fear of, no matter how dangerous it might be, makes Jungkook fear he’ll lose you before he has a chance to fix what he broke. College AU. 

A/N:  This was based on a short story prompt I received in my writers’ group, so I’m adapting it as a JJK story. I’ll post the last part of Hands On Me next, and then Chapter 2 of this one. I’m also going to make a Masterlist this week to make things easier to find. 

Disclaimer: Just for funsies, I don’t believe in real-life shipping. But I like to write, and I like fandom, so here we are. Please do not duplicate this work or repost anywhere else without permission. 

 Chapter 1

You couldn’t remember a time when you didn’t see the shadows. They were less scary when you were young – too young to understand what you were seeing. Too young to understand how they could hurt you.

But you’d always remember the exact moment that Jungkook became the most important person in your world.

When your father died and your mother remarried, you moved back to the town where your mom grew up. They bought a house in a quiet suburban neighborhood, and near one of your mother’s childhood friends whose family lived two doors down.

You and Jungkook were five years old then, and though your mothers frequently got you together for play dates with the other neighborhood kids, you didn’t exactly bond right away. Jungkook was always on the move, and you liked finding quiet spots away from everyone.

That changed the year you turned eight. Though your birthday was a month earlier than his, your mothers had begun throwing joint birthday parties when you were six. This year the party was at the nearby lake at Jungkook’s request – a noisy affair with several of Jungkook’s friends from school as well as kids from your neighborhood. The fathers were grilling, and Jungkook’s older brother, Jin, was playing in the water with two of his friends and their younger sisters.

Your mother kept pushing you to play with the other kids, but you knew that you made them uncomfortable. As if they could sense that you were different, they kept their distance. You were scared of many things they didn’t understand, and you spent your school days alone. So, at your own birthday party, you sat on the sidelines, knees drawn to your chest as you watched the activity. 

______________

 Jungkook glanced over at you as he tossed a ball back and forth with his friend, Jimin. You had completely isolated yourself from everyone as soon as you arrived. It was nothing unusual, but it still bothered him because this was supposed to be your party too.

He’d seen kids teasing you at school, and he’d done his best to quietly put a stop to it. Since you were in a different class, he wasn’t sure how your school days went but judging by the way the girls ignored you, he was guessing not that well. When he missed the ball that Jimin threw, he forced his attention back to their game.

“She always looks sad,” Jimin said. “The kids in her class say mean things about her.”

“I know,” Jungkook said. “I try to play with her, like after school, but she never wants to.”

“Do you think it’s true?”

“Is what true?”

Jimin hesitated. “Two girls from her class are saying she’s crazy – that she sees things.”

“Huh? Who said that?” It was the first time Jungkook had heard that.

“Lily and Hanna,” Jimin answered. “They said she talks to herself a lot, and she was talking to someone in the bathroom, telling them to go away, but no one else was there. It was just her. They’re saying she talks to ghosts.”

Jungkook frowned as he thought about that. It was true that he’d heard you talking to yourself before, but not in some crazy way. He’d never thought much about ghosts beyond the scary movies he sometimes watched with Jin, and he wasn’t sure he believed in them.

“Do you believe in ghosts?” he asked as he tossed the ball to Jimin again.

“I don’t know,” Jimin said with a shrug. “But I guess it doesn’t really matter if we believe in them or not if it’s something that scares her. I feel sorry for her, always sitting alone like she does.”

Jungkook thought about that as he played with his friends. When the food was ready, he loaded up a plate and took it over to join you where you sat on a blanket reading. “Happy birthday, y/n.”

You looked up and stared at him for a moment before replying. “Happy birthday.”

“I brought some food we can share,” he said as he sat down and placed the plate between you. He’d piled on hot dogs and short ribs and, at the last minute, he’d remembered that you liked his mom’s potato salad and bean salad. He probably should have used two plates because it was a little messy now.

Your eyes widened. “That’s a lot of food.”

“I eat a lot,” he admitted as he grabbed a hot dog. “These hot dogs are really good. My dad bought the good sausage for today.” When he offered it to you, you took it without protest.

You both ate in silence for a while as all the parents filled plates for the kids. Eventually Jungkook’s mom brought out the cake, much to his excitement. “Come on, we have to blow out the candles.”

He didn’t give you time to hang back like you always did. Your mom seemed surprised but pleased when you ran up together. “We’re lighting the candles so get your wishes ready.”

Jungkook bounced, excited as he thought about his wish. He looked over at you and asked, “Do you know what you’re gonna wish for?”

You shrugged. “I always make the same wish, but it never comes true. So I don’t care anymore.”

That dimmed his excitement. “Maybe you can tell your parents and they can help?”

“They can’t help me.”

Jungkook watched his mom light the candles as he thought about what you said. “Make it one more time.”

“Why?”

“Because I changed my wish, and you shouldn’t give up if you really want something.”

“But…”

“Just do it,” he said, nudging you forward.

“Fine,” you said, a grumpy tone to your voice.

You both waited until everyone finished singing and then Jungkook looked over at you. “Ready?”

You nodded, and together you blew out the candles on the cake.

“Why did you change your wish?” you asked as you waited for the cake cutting.

“My first wish was for a new game player,” he said. “But your wish must be important or you wouldn’t keep asking for it. So I wished that you would get your wish.”

It was a little embarrassing saying it out loud, but then you smiled and he realized it was the first time he’d ever seen you really smile.

After you ate your cake, Jungkook wanted to go into the water.

You shook your head when he suggested it. “I can’t swim and earlier I thought…”

“What?” he asked.

“I thought I saw something in the water,” you said quietly.

Jungkook remembered what Jimin had said earlier. It was a sunny day, and the water sparkled as kids splashed around in it. “You can wear a life jacket. And I’ll stay with you.”

______________________

 You sat gingerly on the end of the pier and checked your life jacket buckles again. Looking out at the water, you wondered if you had just imagined that you saw something before. Now, the water looked inviting and fun. Jungkook jumped in and swam over to Jin to ask him to come swim with you. You saw them talking and then Jungkook gave you a thumbs up as he began swimming back towards you.

You lowered your legs over the side of the pier, testing the water with your toes. Suddenly, something swirled in the water near your right foot. Thinking it was a fish, you leaned forward to take a closer look and recoiled in horror when a woman’s face appeared below the surface. Before you could move back, a hand grasped your ankle and pulled you in.

The water was warm, but a chill invaded your entire body as you opened your eyes to see the waxy white face again, mouth open in a frozen, silent scream. The woman’s dark hair spread out around her like a cloud, blending into the shadowy depths as she began pulling you.

You kicked, arms flailing wildly, and broke free. Your life jacket bobbed you to the surface and you screamed as you dog paddled frantically towards Jungkook, who was only a couple of feet away.

Jungkook reached you and wrapped both arms around you as he pulled you towards the shore. Then you felt cold fingers wrap around your ankle again. You didn’t even have time to scream before you were pulled below the surface.

But this time Jungkook was there fighting with you, refusing to let go as he pulled back with all his strength. You kicked and kicked, finally freeing yourself a second time. Jin was there now, helping Jungkook pull you up, and the three of you surfaced, gasping for air.

You couldn’t stop shivering as Jin carried you out of the water, a concerned Jungkook right behind you. The shore was chaos as the other kids ran out of the water, and parents were crowding around trying to figure out what had happened.

Jungkook’s father quickly removed your lifejacket and wrapped a blanket around you as he asked Jin what happened.

“I don’t know,” Jin answered, sounding confused. “It was like a current pulled her down.”

“This lake doesn’t usually have strong currents,” his father said. “It’s been years since I heard about any kind of accident here.”

You were distantly aware of your mom and Jungkook’s mom both fussing around you, but you tuned them out and focused instead on Jungkook’s hand still grasping yours tightly. Eventually the adults moved away and began packing up the food since no one wanted to go back into the water.

When you were finally alone, Jungkook asked, “What was that?”

You stared at him. “Could you see her?”

He shook his head. “But I saw how you got pulled into the water. You didn’t fall – I’m sure of it. And under the water… I couldn’t see it, but I felt like something was there.”

“I’m not allowed to talk about this,” you said, staring down at your lap. “If my mom or my stepfather hear me, I’ll be in trouble.”

“Then just tell me. I won’t tell anyone.”

You swallowed, the metallic taste of fear on your tongue as you whispered. “Water ghost. She was so scary.”

Jungkook let go of your hand and for a horrible moment, you thought he might leave, as eager to be away from you as everyone else who thought you were strange. Instead he wrapped his arm around you.

“You see them at school too?”

“Sometimes,” you answered. “They don’t always know I can see them ‘cause I’m good at pretending I don’t. But sometimes they know, and then they get scary.”

“Can they all hurt you like she did?” he asked.

You shook your head. “No. Sometimes people walk right through ghosts. And I’ve seen a few ghosts move things, but they’ve never hurt me.”

“I wonder how she could do that then,” he said, staring out at the water. “And why she didn’t try to pull any other kids away.”

You didn’t answer, but you thought you knew why. It was because the water ghost had only wanted you.

____________________

 You were ten when you realized you weren’t the only one who could see ghosts. Jungkook often stayed with his grandmother in summer, and when he did, you went with him. Nana assured your mother that she didn’t mind, and you knew that with the birth of the twins the previous year, your mother just didn’t have time for you anymore.

You and Jungkook had been inseparable since your eighth birthday party. After he’d talked to his mom, who’d talked to your mom, you and Jungkook had also been allowed to stay in the same class together each year. Teachers recognized that you had a calming effect on Jungkook, while he helped you venture out of your shell. He helped you be a little less afraid.

One hot afternoon in late summer, Nana made you both clean up and go with her to visit an old friend who had recently moved back to town.

“You’re not old enough to stay alone,” she insisted when Jungkook moaned about the visit. “And I think my friend will enjoy meeting you. You remind me a bit of her, y/n.”

Nana’s friend, Mrs. Kim, was a tall, imposing woman. She wore clothes with oddly clashing colors and patterns, and her back garden was a wild labyrinth of vines and bright flowers. Granted permission to play while the two elders became reacquainted, you and Jungkook explored the garden, picking honeysuckle and drinking the nectar.

When Nana called you in for a snack, you raced each other to the patio. Jungkook beat you as he always did, but he stopped at the door to let you go first. You were giggling when you walked inside and followed Nana to the sitting room, only to freeze as you saw the man sitting with Mrs. Kim on the loveseat. His neck was tilted at an odd angle, eyes on Mrs. Kim as she placed slices of cake on plates and added fresh fruit.

You must have made a sound because the man turned his pale eyes your way. You immediately looked down and shuffled backwards, bumping into Jungkook. You could tell by the way he stopped and then pressed close behind you, reaching for your hand, that he knew something was wrong.

“We should go wash our hands,” Jungkook said. Mrs. Kim directed you to the bathroom, and Jungkook pulled you behind him until you were far enough away not to be overheard. Then he turned wide eyes on you; you nodded in answer to his silent question.

“What kind?” he asked in a low voice.

“A man. Something’s wrong with his neck, like maybe he broke it before he died.” You shivered.

“What was he doing?”

“Nothing. Just sitting next to Mrs. Kim, watching her.”

Jungkook nodded. “You just have to pretend you don’t see him while we eat and then we’ll go outside again.”

After washing your hands, you followed Jungkook back to the sitting room, unsurprised when he sat nearest Mrs. Kim because ever since that day at the lake, it’s what he always did. The fact that he couldn’t see the danger didn’t matter to him – he still acted as a barrier between you and anything that he thought could hurt you.

You kept your eyes on your plate as you ate. You peeked over at Mrs. Kim once to find her watching you, a thoughtful expression on her face. The man was also watching you now, and you tugged urgently at Jungkook’s shorts.

Once you were excused, you both rushed back outside, where you felt you could finally breathe. “So scary. I really think he broke his neck in an accident or something.”

“Who do you think he is?” Jungkook asked as you sat in the grass near a bush with bright pink flowers.

You shrugged as you touched a finger to one of the petals. “I don’t know, but I think he’s haunting Mrs. Kim instead of the house. He was maybe your dad’s age, but his clothes look older.”

“How can you tell the difference?”

“I can’t – not exactly. I’m guessing because of the ghosts at school. They walk around the halls or have a favorite room, or like a favorite spot outside. They only notice students if they get annoyed about something, or if they realize I can see them. This ghost only watched Mrs. Kim until right at the end when he looked at me.”

“Mrs. Kim was looking at you too,” Jungkook said.

“Yeah.” It was weird, how they’d both looked at you like that.

You were playing rock paper scissors when the door opened, and Mrs. Kim walked out to the garden followed by the ghost. You shrank back behind Jungkook.

She sat on the little bench near the flowering bushes and handed them the juice she’d brought out. “Your nana says you two are always forgetting to drink enough when it’s hot.”

“Thank you,” Jungkook said. He passed one to you as you both sat in the grass, as far away as you could without being rude.

You kept your eyes down as Mrs. Kim talked to Jungkook – about school, and how long you’d been friends. “You know, your nana and I were best friends when we were your age, right up until we graduated from high school and got married. Then I moved away with my husband. He died in an accident twenty years ago. Broken neck.”

You swallowed hard, resisting the urge to look up.

“You can see him, can’t you, y/n?”

Shocked, you raised your head to look at Mrs. Kim. “What?”

“I can see him too. He’s been with me these past twenty years, refuses to go on without me, stubborn goat.”

You looked over at Jungkook, who was staring at Mrs. Kim, mouth open.

“I’ve been able to see them since I was at least four years old,” Mrs. Kim continued. “Was it the same for you?”

You nodded, still unable to believe she was like you. “I can’t really remember a time when I couldn’t see them.”

“Your ability to see and communicate with them will grow stronger as you get older. They’ll begin to recognize you as part of the otherworld.”

“What if I don’t want to see them or talk to them? I just want them to stay away from me.” You didn’t realize you were trembling until Jungkook scooted closer and put his arm around you.

“I’m afraid it’s not that simple,” she replied quietly. “But as your ability grows, you will be able to learn how to manage them – how to block the weaker ones, and how to resist the stronger ones. You’ll find that you can help them move on. Until then, I can give you talismans that will protect you.”

____________

 Mrs. Kim was true to her word. From that summer on, her paper talismans hung in your room, and you carried a jade protection amulet wherever you went. You’d learned that spraying salt water in the air was a simple method of disrupting the electromagnetic field of ghosts that were causing trouble.

Your mother ignored the talismans in your room, but you knew better than to talk about the ghosts you saw. And so Jungkook and Mrs. Kim were the only ones in whom you could confide your fears.

When you were thirteen, your father’s family requested that you spend two months at their home in the city. It was the first time you had seen them in over a year, and you’d never stayed with them before without your mother. It was also the first time you and Jungkook had been separated for more than a week since you were eight, and it triggered your anxiety. You’d packed your talismans and your amulet, but what if something happened? Jungkook and Mrs. Kim would be four hours away.

The weeks passed slowly. You were uncomfortable with your father’s family. They were extremely wealthy, and your grandfather was stern and cold. Your uncle wasn’t so bad, but he only returned to the family home at night. You had nothing in common with his wife or their daughter, who was five years younger than you.

You and Jungkook messaged and video chatted every day, but your grandfather kept you busy with music, art and French lessons, claiming that your education was sadly lacking. That summer was the first time that he brought up the idea of sending you to a boarding school abroad, stating that it would better prepare you for entering a prestigious university.

Your uncle’s driver took you home at the end of the summer, and your uncle accompanied you. He talked to you about the co-ed boarding school in England which both he and your father had attended, giving you several brochures to look over.

“I believe your father would be happy to know that you continued the tradition,” he told you. “Money is no concern. I’ve talked to your mother about continuing your art, music and language lessons this year, and I’ve opened an account for you where your allowance will be deposited each quarter. That money can be used to pay tutors and for whatever else you might want.”

“I don’t think I want to go to another country,” you said quietly, staring out the window.

“Well, you’re not in high school yet. Just think about it.”

Jungkook was sitting on your front steps with Jin, and he ran to the car when you pulled into your driveway. He slung an arm around your shoulders and rubbed his hand on top of your head, making you laugh.

“Stop,” you said as you pushed him back. “How are you like two inches taller?”

“I hit a growth spurt,” he replied proudly.

“About time,” Jin said as he took your bags from the driver. “Why do you have three bags now when you left with one?”

“My aunt took me shopping,” you explained.

Your uncle passed you the brochures you’d left on the car seat. Nodding to Jin and Jungkook, he patted your shoulder. “Think about it, okay? This could be a good experience for you.”

After he left, you turned back to Jungkook and Jin, who were looking at the brochures you held.

“What does he want you to think about?” Jin asked.

You held up the brochures as you took one of the suitcases. “Boarding school. The same one he and my dad went to. My grandfather barely acknowledged my existence before now, except sending money to my mom twice a year, but suddenly I’m his summer project.”

“Boarding school where?”

“England.”

Jin whistled. “That must be expensive.”

“Money’s the one thing they’re not lacking, so…”

“But you’re not going, right?” Jungkook suddenly asked.

“I told him I would look at these brochures and think about it, but no. I don’t really want to go.”

“Well, then you should just throw them away. There’s no point looking at them if you’re not going.”

You frowned at the edge in his tone. “Why do you sound mad?”

“I’m not mad, I just think it’s a stupid idea,” he answered.

“Ignore him, y/n. He missed you this summer, even if he won’t admit it, and now you’re talking about moving to England. He’s feeling abandoned.” Jin laughed and ducked when Jungkook threw a mock punch at him.

You greeted your mother, stepfather and younger siblings before following Jin and Jungkook up the stairs to your room. Jin left after he helped you get the bags upstairs, but Jungkook stayed and watched as you unzipped your suitcases and began sorting through your things. Your talismans came out first, and Jungkook hung them for you as you put away your new clothes.

“If you really have to keep up with the lessons this year, you should use the same art teacher I use. She’s really good, and then we could do them together.”

“Okay.” You turned around to see Jungkook looking at the brochures.

“This place looks haunted as hell, y/n.”

“Your mom will beat you if she hears you cursing,” you reminded him.

“Well, it does. Look haunted, I mean. Who even knows how many ghosts are wandering around a centuries old school like this.” Jungkook shook his head and tossed the brochures into the trash can next to your desk. “Tell your uncle thanks but no thanks.”

“So did you decide where you want to have our birthday party next week?” You took turns each year, choosing the location and cake, and this year was Jungkook’s turn.

“The arcade,” he said, ignoring your groan. “Come on, we’ll have fun playing the games. Mom said you should come for dinner tonight and help think about the cake. I get the arcade, and I’ll eat whatever cake you want.”

“Okay. I need to ask my mom, but they probably won’t care.”

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it was impossible not to hear your mom and stepfather arguing as you walked down the stairs and around the corner to see them standing at the kitchen island.

“She’s still hanging paper around her room to ward off ghosts, for God’s sake. Remember that the twins heard her talking about ghosts to Jungkook last year and still won’t sleep with the lights off. I’m just saying that if her father’s family want her to live with them, we should consider it. And the boarding school might be good for her.”

“You know that I promised her father I wouldn’t let them influence her upbringing too much.” Your mother sighed. “I know that her eccentricities complicate things, but I can’t break that promise. If she decides to go to boarding school, she’ll only be with us for another year anyway.”

You shouldn’t be surprised to hear them talking about you; you knew that, but it still hurt. The chasm between you and your mother had widened over the years until you barely talked about anything that wasn’t related to helping out with household chores or schoolwork. You jumped as Jungkook cleared his throat loudly.

“We were just going to my house for dinner if that’s okay,” Jungkook said. “We’re still planning our birthday party.”

“Oh.” Your mom bit her lip as she looked at you, obviously wondering if you’d heard them talking. “You just got home, but I suppose that’s fine. Don’t stay too late.”

You nodded and allowed Jungkook to lead you outside. You made it to the end of the driveway before Jungkook spoke. “Your stepfather sucks. Asshole.”

You swallowed down the tears threatening. “You can’t blame him for thinking I’m weird, and wishing his kids weren’t exposed to it. We have to be more careful what we talk about with the twins around.”

“Yeah, I can blame him. He married your mom knowing she had a kid, and that makes you his kid too. He’s never been that nice to you, even before the twins were born. Asshole.”

You laughed.

“You know my parents love you right? And Jin too. He missed you almost as much as I did this summer.”

“Aww, so you did miss me?”

He rolled his eyes. “Shut up and let’s go eat. I’m starving.”

_____________

 High school was a new world. Your grandfather wasn’t pleased with your decision to stay at your local school but when you didn’t budge from your decision, he shifted his attention to making sure you were properly prepped for university. You still spent at least six weeks with them every summer, and you’d continued extra music, art and language lessons.

Jin had gone to university and only came home for holidays, so you spent more and more of your time at Jungkook’s house. Jungkook played varsity baseball and was often busy with training programs for a few hours after school. His growth spurts meant he’d long outgrown you, at least vertically, something he liked rubbing in when he propped his arm on top of your head. He was losing his baby fat too, and out of nowhere he suddenly had a jawline that the girls in school noticed.

He wasn’t the only one changing. Mrs. Kim had been right when she told you that your ability to see and communicate with ghosts would grow as you got older. You were sixteen now, and the older you got, the more they seemed drawn to you.

“Somehow, they’re able to recognize those of us who can see the otherworld,” Mrs. Kim explained one afternoon when you and Jungkook visited her. “We shine a little brighter for them, I suppose, or they’re drawn to our energy. This is especially true for the ones who feel they left unfinished business behind.”

“They’re following her now – sometimes to school, sometimes to her house,” Jungkook told her. “There has to be a way to stop that. Isn’t there some kind of banishing talisman?”

“I’m afraid it’s not that simple, Jungkook.” She looked over at you. “I told you years ago that the talismans were only meant to be a partial protection. They’re best used to protect small spaces, like your bedroom when you’re sleeping. They cannot be used to forever shield you from the otherworld. You have to learn to communicate with them, y/n, and stand firm when they push back against you. If you learn to push back against them, you’ll be able to block their energy. But in order to do that, you’ll have to allow yourself to come into contact with them.”

“No,” Jungkook replied flatly. “That water ghost almost killed her eight years ago, and last year one of them pushed her into traffic. Confronting them is too dangerous.”

“But if she doesn’t confront them and learn to wield this power she possesses, she’ll forever lead a half-life hiding from shadows.” Mrs. Kim raised her brows. “Are you going to hide in the shadows and live that half-life with her?”

Those words stayed with you as the school year ended. You had two more years of high school left and then it would be time for university. Jungkook was already talking about which universities you could apply to together. He was hoping to get an athletic scholarship, which is why he’d become so serious about baseball. Jin had gone to university on a drama scholarship, something that had helped a lot with expenses.

Money wasn’t a problem for you, but how would this work? Would you just follow Jungkook to whichever university he attended? Would he follow you to yours? And what would happen after university? At some point, you’d have to part ways in the world, at least to some extent. As Mrs. Kim had pointed out, he couldn’t stay with you in the shadows forever. You were surprised that Jungkook didn’t already have a girlfriend given how many girls were hovering around him lately, and you were sure that a girlfriend would absolutely hate you for taking up all of his time.

________________

 The end-of-the-year party at Jimin’s house was in full swing, and Jungkook had lost track of you about an hour ago while he was dancing with Grace, a girl he’d been quietly crushing on for the last few months. She was one of the most popular girls at school though and getting time alone with her was difficult. He thought she liked him back, but she’d danced with two other guys after dancing with him.

The only girl he really understood was you, but you didn’t act like other girls. You never showed an interest in the boys at school, or in dating, and you had never befriended any of the girls either. Grace had been friendly towards you, but she was also good friends with Hanna and Lily, and so you seemed wary of her. He could understand that since he knew Hanna and Lily had been horrible to you in the past, on numerous occasions. But he also thought it was unfair to blame Grace by association since she’d only recently moved to their town.

Jungkook wandered outside to the pool area and finally spotted Jimin. “Hey, have you seen y/n?”

“Yeah, about thirty minutes ago? She was with Lucas.”

He frowned. “What the hell is she doing with Lucas?” Lucas was on the baseball team with him and he was the one guy he didn’t get along with. He was popular, but Jungkook had heard him say gross things about girls, and he could be a bully.

Jimin shrugged. “I don’t know. They were with a group playing truth or dare and then someone said they left together.”

Jungkook couldn’t get rid of the uneasy feeling as he searched the crowd for you. He’d tried calling you, but your phone was off, or maybe dead – you were always forgetting to keep it charged. Relief surged through him when he finally found you sitting in a quiet spot on the front porch.

“Geez, y/n, can you not disappear like that? Or at least keep your phone on?”

You looked up and smiled at him. “Sorry. I thought you were still with Grace.”

He sat down next to you on the swing, pushing off gently to get it moving again. “Jimin said he saw you with Lucas.”

“Hmm.”

He waited for you to continue, but you stayed quiet. “Why?”

“He pulled me into their game of truth or dare when I was walking by. I didn’t really want to play but then I thought, it’s a party, and maybe I should just… try to have fun? So I played. Lucas admitted he liked someone in the circle, and they dared him to kiss the girl he likes. Then he kissed me.”

Jungkook was stunned. And pissed. “I am going to beat his ass.” He stood but paused when you grabbed his arm and pulled him down again.

“It’s fine. Well, it’s not, but it wasn’t much of a kiss. His lips were kind of dry,” you admitted. “Kissing Lucas during a game of truth or dare at Jimin’s house isn’t the kind of story I imagined for my first kiss, but at least it’s over with, I guess.”

“He’s already slept with two girls in our class, and we’re barely halfway through high school. You shouldn’t be going anywhere alone with him. He talks shit about girls in the locker room, y/n, so don’t let him fool you.” He was getting angrier the longer he thought about it, and he really would beat Lucas’ ass if he heard your name out of him even once.

You looked over at him in surprise. “I didn’t go anywhere alone with him.”

“Jimin said you left together.”

“No, I didn’t. I left after he kissed me and went to the bathroom. He followed me and asked if he could take me home later, but I told him I was here with you. Then I came out here, alone.”

“Oh.” That made him feel a little better, but not much. The idea of Lucas’ lips anywhere near you made him want to hit something. You were way too good for a guy who showed the bare minimum of respect to girls even when he was dating them and then trash talked them after he was done.

“First kiss with Lucas is a real low point for the year, I have to admit,” you said with humor. “He’s cute but not really my type… ow!” You glared at him, rubbing your forehead where he’d just thumped you. “Why did you do that?”

“He’s cute? Are you blind?”

You sighed. “I know you hate him, but now you’re just being unreasonable. It’s not like your first kiss was much better.”

“For the record, Hanna kissed me, not the other way around,” he reminded you. “It’s not like I wanted her to.”

“Whatever. Though it’s kind of funny that both our first kisses were with someone the other hates. It shouldn’t even count since it’s not like they asked for consent first.”

Jungkook looked over at you. He hadn’t really noticed before how pretty you looked tonight. You were wearing a silky green tank top with a gossamer thin white cardigan, and the gold locket you’d gotten for your sixteenth birthday hung around your neck. Since it had belonged to your paternal grandmother and held a photo of your father, you rarely took it off.

He thought about the other photo he knew was there, one his mother had taken at Halloween when you were ten. It was the year you’d discovered that old Ghostbusters movie and Jungkook had convinced you to wear matching Ghostbusters costumes. You’d had a miniature made for your locket, and he carried the same photo in his wallet. So many of his best memories included you.

“Let’s make it not count then,” he suddenly said.

You looked over at him again, a questioning look on your face. Before he could give himself too much time to think about it, he leaned forward, pausing when he got close to you, giving you a chance to move away if you wanted to. Then you closed the distance and pressed your lips to his.

Your lips were softer than he’d expected. The kiss only lasted a few seconds; he licked his lips when you pulled back, tasting the berry flavored lip gloss you used. He took a breath, surprised that his heart was racing.

“It’s the first because we chose it, right?” You looked happy about that, your hand reaching up to touch your locket.

“Yeah.” He stood up and held out his hand. “Let’s go home.”

_______________

 You spent six weeks that summer at your grandfather’s house and when you returned, Jungkook was following Grace around like a puppy. You told yourself that you were happy for him even as your heart sank whenever you saw them together. It was silly and you knew it, so you did your best to ignore that feeling and support him. She was nice enough, but you kept your distance since Grace was friends with Hanna and Lily. Regardless of what Jungkook believed, you weren’t sure a really nice girl would be friends with the literal mean girls of your high school.

Jungkook was being scouted by universities by the time baseball season started. You were only juniors, and he probably wouldn’t get any offers until the following year, but it was a big deal that coaches were already talking to him. Just as you had every year he played, you watched his practices and attended every game with his parents, cheering him on.

The coach from Gettis University had visited twice, something the whole school was talking about. It was an old and well-respected university located five hours north of your town, and one of the best universities in the country. You knew that Jungkook was leaning towards studying filmmaking since he enjoyed shooting and editing videos, and Gettis had an outstanding film program. The tuition prices were outrageous but with a scholarship, it would be an incredible opportunity for him.

It was also known as one of the most haunted college campuses in the country. Because the university was located near an area where several bloody battles had been fought, tales of campus ghosts fueled the local folklore and had inspired many creepypasta tales. The Gothic inspired architecture lent credibility to the stories, and students leaned into it, throwing elaborate Halloween parties and hosting infamous haunted houses each October.

The idea of attending college there filled you with a deep dread that you tried to hide from Jungkook. Despite that, you knew that he was aware of it because every time his parents talked to him about college options, he dismissed the idea of attending Gettis.

You hated it. Hated that you were so fragile that he felt he had to turn down an opportunity like that. Hated that you were also too selfish to tell him he should go without you. Most of all, you hated that you were so terrified that you couldn’t think about Gettis without breaking into a cold sweat.

It was a topic that you had carefully avoided talking to each other about, but the time was rapidly approaching when you’d both have to make decisions about your future, and the last thing you wanted was to hold him back. It always brought you back to what Mrs. Kim had told you – that unless you learned to control your ability to see and interact with the otherworld, you would condemn both yourself and Jungkook to a half life hiding from shadows.

You were trying to think of a way to broach the topic one afternoon after baseball practice as Jungkook walked with you to the library. You’d been talking to Mrs. Kim recently about ways to control your ability, and ways to safely confront ghosts, something you knew Jungkook wouldn’t agree with. You hadn’t quite worked up the nerve to test any of Mrs. Kim’s suggestions yet, but you were hoping that you could convince Jungkook to help.

You cleared your throat. “So I was thinking…”

A car horn interrupted you. Turning, you saw Grace pull up in her red convertible with a friendly wave.

“Hey you,” she said, smiling at Jungkook. “A bunch of us are headed to the lake now that it’s warm enough. I know you two usually study on Wednesdays but come on – it’s such a waste of a nice afternoon.”

When Jungkook hesitated, Grace added, “Of course you’re welcome to come too, y/n.”

You hadn’t been to that lake since your eighth birthday, and everyone in school knew that. Grace had even commented on it before, so you knew it was an empty offer meant to appease Jungkook.

You could see that he was about to refuse, so you stopped him. “You should go. It sounds like fun.” When he didn’t say anything, you gave him a little push. “Seriously, go. I’ll help you study tomorrow.”

He smiled at you. “Okay. But let me know when you’re ready to walk home and I’ll come walk with you. You shouldn’t be walking alone after dark.”

You nodded, watching as he got in the car and they drove away. You continued on to the library, stopping to talk to Jimin when you arrived. His mom was the librarian and he often studied there with you and Jungkook. Today he was behind the desk, helping his mom scan in a backlog of book returns.

“Where’s Jungkook?” he asked as you leaned against the counter.

“With Grace at the lake.”

“Yeah, I heard a bunch of people were headed there this afternoon,” he replied. “If you want to grab a table, I’ll come join you as soon as I’m done.”

You and Jimin studied for the next two hours and when you were done with your homework, you wandered over to the stacks to look for a book that Mrs. Kim had recommended you read. From the corner of your eye you saw a man move between rows of books. He looked familiar, so you turned to look at him. You froze, eyes automatically shifting away when you realized that he wasn’t a man at all.

You’d also seen him before. He’d been outside the farmer’s market one weekend, and you’d seen him near the school. That you were now seeing him at the library meant he was probably following you. You could feel your palms start to sweat. You concentrated on breathing for a moment, willing your heartbeat to slow as you counted in your head.

This was an opportunity. He wasn’t like the water ghost, and he wasn’t full of the menacing energy you’d briefly felt from the ghost who had pushed you into traffic two years ago.

Swallowing hard, you ran your fingers over the pocket of the lightweight jacket you were still wearing in the chilly library, feeling both the stone of your protection amulet and the small spray bottle of salt water you kept with you at all times. You’d used the saltwater spray a handful of times over the years, finding that once their energy was disrupted, nuisance ghosts usually disappeared and often didn’t seek you out again.

Slowly, you looked up at the man. He was older than you but still young, and if he wasn’t so eerily still and pale, you might have thought him handsome. His dark hair was cut in an old-fashioned, feathery style that reminded you of the album covers of 70s rock bands that your stepfather had in his record collection.

“Hi,” you said, your voice shaking. “Do you… do you need help?” You’d never tried to talk to any of the ghosts before, and you had no idea what you should say, but offering help seemed like a good first step.

The man moved closer. You were amazed by just how solid he looked, much more so than when you’d seen him outside. His eyes were a deep, dark brown, and something about them drew you in. Unable to look away, you remained still as he continued moving towards you, feeling an almost drunken heaviness suffuse your limbs. He reached out; almost as if disconnected from your body, you felt your hand meet his halfway.

The scorching heat from his fingers was a shock, as was the spark of electricity that zapped you back to awareness. You jerked backwards with a gasp, reaching into your pocket for the saltwater spray. “Please, if you need help, I’ll try to help…” you broke off as you heard a popping sound behind you.

You stood, frozen in horror as the wall socket next to the reading nook popped and sparked with electricity. Before the man could move closer again, you sprayed the saltwater into the air between you. He shimmered brightly, dissolved into the air, and then reappeared so suddenly you had no time to react. An orange glow seemed to burn within his eyes when he reached for you again.

This time his touch burned through the fabric of your jacket, and the floor beneath you shook as you screamed in pain and horror. He shimmered again and you fell backwards, dimly aware that the smoke and flames behind you were from the armchair which had caught fire. The lights above you flickered out, and you curled into a ball, arms over your head.

You screamed again when you felt hands on your back until you realized it was Jimin trying to lift you off the floor.

That was the last thing you remembered until waking in the hospital to find Jungkook asleep in a chair beside your bed. He’d fallen asleep holding your hand and looked exhausted. He was still wearing the same clothes he’d been wearing when you last saw him, with the addition of his well-loved black hoodie.

The memory of what happened in the library came back when you saw the bandages on your left forearm, and you couldn’t stop the fear that raced through you. The steady beeping of your heart monitor increased sharply, jolting Jungkook awake as you gasped for breath.

Your head swam. Two nurses rushed in, and through bleary eyes you saw your mother behind them. You thought Jungkook was speaking, but you couldn’t understand through the rushing sound in your ears. The darkness slipped in again.

You woke again the next morning to Jungkook, pale and tense beside you, still holding your hand.

“You’re okay,” he said quickly, leaning in to cup the side of your head. “Just look at me for a minute and breathe. You have to breathe slowly, remember?”

Your heart was pounding again. It had been a couple of years since you’d had a severe panic attack, but you recognized it, as did Jungkook. You closed your eyes and concentrated on breathing as you listened to him count. Gradually your heart rate slowed.

You were calmer when the doctor came in to examine the palm shaped burn on your arm. You hadn’t imagined it then, you thought dimly. The man had burned you with a touch. You had never considered that a ghost could harm you like that – that something scarier than water ghosts existed. Your mother was talking to the doctor about the library fire, the assumption being that you must have been sitting in the chair that caught fire when a power surge overloaded the electrical system.

Jungkook obviously knew something much worse had happened, but you couldn’t bring yourself to talk about it yet. You couldn’t speak at all. You thought you might shatter from the inside out if you did. You didn’t want to eat or drink either until the nurse explained to your mother and Jungkook that your body needed the sugar due to the shock you’d been through. As long as you didn’t feel sick or vomit, you needed to try eating and drinking.

After that, Jungkook was relentless, coaxing you to drink juice and eat small bites of food every hour. You didn’t want it, but you didn’t have it in you to refuse when he looked so worried. His mother arrived in the afternoon, bringing your favorite fresh fruit, some homemade food and a change of clothes for Jungkook.

His mother sat with you while he washed up since your mom had gone to pick up the twins from school. You were still on a saline drip and the doctor had said you wouldn’t be discharged until tomorrow at the earliest because your blood pressure and blood sugar were still low.

A bone deep weariness had settled in by evening, but you were afraid to sleep. You heard Jungkook’s mother urging your mom to go home and get some rest since she’d been awake all night, promising that she and Jungkook would stay with you, but you didn’t look at your mother when she said goodbye. You felt oddly detached from her; whether she stayed or left didn’t really matter when you knew she’d never believe you if you tried to tell her what happened to you.

That night after his mom fell asleep on the sofa, Jungkook whispered, “Please talk to me, y/n. You’re scaring me.”

You looked at him, sitting there next to you, still holding your hand. You wondered what your lives would be like now if you had never moved here. You were sure that your life would be worse while his would undoubtedly be better.

“One of them…” your voice cracked, and you cleared your throat. “He followed me. I tried… tried to talk to him. And he… he…”

When you stopped talking, Jungkook asked, “Did he start the fire? Is that how you got burned?”

You shook your head and tried again. “He burned me when he… he touched me.” You squeezed your eyes shut, and the tears finally came, quietly.

“You’re okay now,” he said. He grabbed the box of tissues off the table and climbed onto the bed with you, carefully pulling you to him as he rested his chin against the top of your head. “It’s okay.”

____________

 But it wasn’t okay. You spent the final two months of the school year at home, completing your assignments online. Jungkook diligently took notes in class, and Jimin shared his notes as well. The teachers allowed you to come and take exams in a quiet room alone.

The only place you felt safe was in your bedroom with the talismans protecting your space. You had no idea what happened to the ghost at the library, but you were terrified that he might find you. Sleeping with the lights on was your new normal when you slept at all.

Your mom suggested counseling to help you deal with your anxiety. You went along with it, though you didn’t see the point. A therapist couldn’t help with something they didn’t know or understand, and it’s not like you could tell the woman what you were really afraid of. The best she could offer was advice on how to deal with your panic attacks and general anxiety. They were coping mechanisms that would do little to help you get to the root of the problem.

The one person who could help was also someone you didn’t want to talk to. Nana had visited with Mrs. Kim, but you’d told your mom that you didn’t want to see them. Your stepfather and the twins gave you space, rarely venturing into your bedroom, and you rarely ventured out. The only people you talked to besides the therapist, who came to your house twice a week, were Jungkook and his mom. Jin was in his last year at university, but he messaged you daily, making you smile with his terrible jokes.

Mrs. Kim had gone abroad to stay with her daughter in May. Nana brought over a small box that she said Mrs. Kim had asked her to give you, but you hadn’t opened it yet. It sat in your closet, buried beneath your schoolbooks you’d put away for the summer.

Then, one sunny day in early June, Nana went for a walk at the lake. It was her favorite spot because it was where she’d met her late husband. She’d always said she felt closer to him there than she did at his grave. She sat on the bench where he’d proposed so many years before, and her heart quietly gave out.

Jungkook was inconsolable. You tried to be there for him as he had been there for you in the past, but he held his grief in. You mustered up every bit of courage you possessed to stand with him at her grave site for the funeral services, heart in your throat and jumping at every shadow or slight noise.

You looked for her that day – at the grave site, and at the wake. You didn’t know how to explain it, but you were certain that she had moved on, that nothing had held her back. She’d found her peace and returned to her husband.

Jungkook didn’t believe you. You knew it was because on the day she died, Nana had asked him to walk with her as he often did. But on that particular day, he’d chosen to meet Grace for ice cream, and he couldn’t forgive himself.

“She said she wanted to talk to me about something. We were going to talk the next day,” he told you. He was sad, and angry, and after a week of stoicism, he began lashing out at everyone.

He’d begged you to go back to the grave site with him and you did. The anxiety of being there for hours, waiting for a spirit you knew would never come while avoiding the others who came and went, sometimes getting entirely too close to you for your sanity, took its toll. You spent the night in your bathroom, vomiting, sweating and angry with yourself for being so weak when Jungkook needed you.

The next day, he asked you to go to the lake with him.

“I can’t,” you whispered, shaking your head. The very idea made you want to vomit again.

“Please, y/n. Please.” He grabbed your hands, the pleading in his dark eyes making you feel like the worst friend for denying him.

“She’s not there, Jungkook. I can’t explain it, but I feel…”

“You don’t know that!” He let go of your hands and stood up, his anger spilling over, this time at you. “All these years, I never fucking asked you for anything. I’ve spent ten years adjusting my life to your fears and paranoia. I fight with my girlfriend because of you. I can’t even fucking go to the college I want to go to because I have to worry about how that affects you. And you can’t do this one thing for me?”

He was breathing heavily, not looking at you now as you stared at him, unable to believe the things he’d just said to you. You tried to tell yourself he didn’t mean it, that he was just hurting and angry, but you weren’t so sure. Maybe this was the sum total of the things you’d avoided talking about even when you knew that you were holding him back.

Before you could think of what to say, he turned and left, slamming your bedroom door behind him. You heard his footsteps down the stairs, and then there was nothing but the silence he left in his wake.

In all the years you’d been friends with Jungkook, you’d never seen him that angry. Typically, he was slow to anger, and he wasn’t one to hold grudges either. You were the one that held grudges for the both of you. But after two days passed without hearing from him, you knew this time was different.

Everyone tried to mediate since they didn’t know why you were fighting. Your messages to Jungkook went unanswered, and he’d refused to come out of his room when you finally went to his house to talk to him. Jin sat on your porch with you that afternoon, poking and prodding to try and figure out what was going on. You just told him that it was your fault because it was. Deep down, you felt like Jungkook had a right to be angry with you.

Two weeks later, Jungkook left for baseball camp.

There was almost a sense of relief you felt now that he was gone. Jin had come to talk to you again, telling you that he was sure that Jungkook was going to be feeling shitty about this whole thing by the end of the summer, and making a point to remind you that he couldn’t call even if he wanted to because he wasn’t allowed to have his phone for the month-long camp.

You didn’t say it, but you were beginning to think a clean break would be best for everyone. You talked to your uncle, quietly making plans without bothering to discuss it with your mother. And when you felt ready, you took out the box that Mrs. Kim had sent to you. You read the long letter, set aside the new talismans, and examined the jade Taoist amulet she’d included. Somehow, you weren’t surprised that she was prescient enough to know this time would come.

That night, you went to the lake.

________________________

 Jungkook was surprised to see Jin waiting for him when he left the camp facility. “I thought Mom was picking me up.”

Jin opened the trunk, took his bag and tossed it inside. “She was, but I need to talk to you, so I told her I’d do it.”

“I thought you’d still be mad at me,” Jungkook said as he got in the car. He ran his hand through his hair, pushing down his nerves. Baseball camp had been physically exhausting, but nothing had been able to drown out the horrible, horrible things he’d said before he left. They played on a loop as he lay in his bunk at night, and he saw your face when he closed his eyes.

“I am,” Jin said shortly. “You weren’t the only person who was sad about Nana, Jungkook. You’re just the only person who was super shitty about it, to everyone.”

He supposed he deserved that. “Do you have my phone?” It was a two-hour drive home, but he didn’t want to wait that long to call you. He wasn’t sure if you’d answer, but he needed to at least try.

“Yes, but I know who you’re going to call, and we need to talk first.”

Jin pulled into a small roadside diner. They sat in a back booth and ordered drinks and the lunch special, pulled barbecue sandwiches. Jin waited until he’d finished his sandwich before he spoke again.

Wiping his hands, he pushed his plate away and asked, “What exactly happened between you and y/n?”

Jungkook looked away. “I said some things to her that I should never have said. I don’t even know why I said them. I was just sad, and mad, and I’d already lashed out at everybody else. She was the only one left.”

“When I asked y/n, she said it was her fault,” Jin said. “She seemed to think she deserved your anger. Why would she think that?”

“Look, Jin, I appreciate that you tried to fix this, but I really need to talk to y/n. This is personal, between me and her. Can you give me my phone, please?”

Jin reached into his pocket and pulled out the phone, handing it over without another word.

Jungkook turned it on and gave the voice command to call you. After a moment, he heard a toneless voice saying the number was no longer in service. Annoyed, he went to his contacts and selected your name, again waiting for the call to connect.

Jin was sitting, arms crossed when he looked up. “What the hell is going on?”

“She changed her number.”

“Okay. What’s her new number?”

“See, I don’t know because she didn’t give it to anyone before she left.”

Jungkook set the phone down on the table, a sick feeling twisting in his gut. “I don’t understand.”

“About a week after you left, y/n’s mom called late one night to say she was missing. She wasn’t in the house, her phone was on her desk, no note, nothing. She had already driven around looking for her, but it was getting late, and she was worried, so we got some neighbors together to search for her. We couldn’t officially file a missing persons report, but Dad called a friend at the police department. They had patrol officers looking, and one of them said he remembered seeing a girl walking down by the lake at sunset.”

“She hasn’t been to the lake in ten years,” Jungkook said flatly. “There’s no way she’d go down there alone at night.”

“That’s what we thought too, but we looked just in case. No luck. I told Dad maybe we needed to come get you because if anyone would know where she might go, it would be you. But then another patrolman called to say he’d found her sitting on the pier at the lake. Apparently, she’d been there all night and when Dad and I got there, she was wet, like she’d been in the water.”

Jungkook shook his head. “No. She can’t swim, and she hates the water, even the pool.” If she’d gone there looking for Nana, he’d never forgive himself. “She was okay though, right?”

“Physically, yes – cold but not hurt. But the way she just stared out at the water gave me the chills, Jungkook. When I asked her why she’d gone down there, the only thing she’d say was that she needed to know if she could do it. Do what, I don’t know, but that was her answer.”

Jungkook swallowed hard. “You said she left. Did she go to her grandfather?” If he could catch the early afternoon train, he could be there by this evening.

“She left the country, Jungkook. Packed her bags, and when her uncle’s driver pulled up, she told her mom that she was going to that boarding school. All of ten minutes notice before she was in the car driving away. She called once after she arrived in England, and that’s the last time any of us heard from her.”

Jungkook couldn’t collect his thoughts as they drove home. All he could think of for the last couple of weeks was fixing the mess he’d made. He’d imagined many scenarios – some where you accepted his apology and things went back to normal, and others where you refused to speak to him. The latter was what he deserved, but he’d been so sure that he’d be able to fix it eventually.

“Do you remember the name that was on those brochures?” Jungkook asked. “I remember looking at them, but I can’t remember the name of that damn school.”

“No and believe me when I say I’ve been trying to remember. I even got her uncle’s number and called him, but he very politely told me that he supported y/n’s decision to cut ties with, and I quote, emotionally damaging people. I don’t even think her mother knows exactly where she is, probably because y/n thinks her mom would tell our mom, who would tell us, so yeah. Basically, we know she’s in England. In case of emergency, her uncle will get in touch with her.”

When they pulled up to their house, Jungkook got out and immediately went to your house. When your mom answered the door, she looked both surprised and dismayed to see him. “She’s not here, Jungkook. I thought Jin was going to talk to you about this.”

“I know, but I left something in her room. Can I go up and get it?”

She hesitated for a moment before letting him in. He took the stairs two at a time and opened your bedroom door. The air already smelled stale, and there was an abandoned air to the room now. Your favorite books weren’t on the bookshelf, and your closet was mostly empty. It was shameless, but he searched all of your drawers, looking for any hint about the school you were attending. After ten minutes, he was forced to admit defeat.

There was a box on your desk that looked familiar. Then he remembered that Mrs. Kim had left a box just like this one with Nana to give to you. He opened it to find the well-worn talismans that used to hang around your room. There was also a photo album – when he opened it, he found photos and news clippings of every baseball game he’d ever played, beginning with his t-ball years.

Instinctively, he knew this must be something you’d worked on for his birthday. You’d known that he would come looking for you, and you’d left the box out for him. Next was a hoodie he’d been looking for, not realizing he’d left it in your room. And at the very bottom of the box was a note with your neat handwriting sloping across the paper.

“Happy birthday. My wish for both of us is that we can be free.”

He’d thought the worst pain he’d probably ever feel was when Nana died but somehow, this pain was worse. It was an ache that hollowed him out, that made his jaw clench and his hands tremble. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, staring down at that note. It was proof that you really didn’t know how important you were to him because if you did, you never would have left like this. You had decided that the best thing for both of you was to be free of each other, and that was on him.

When he heard a noise behind him, he wiped at a tear that slid down his cheek and turned to see your little sister, Emmie, standing in the doorway.

Emmie looked around the room and said, “I knew she was packing, but I thought she was gonna go to her dad’s family like she does every summer. You made her cry, you know.”

The little girl looked so much like you did when you were her age. It was in the way her hair parted, and how she tilted her head when she looked at him. The big eyes, and the stubborn chin – they were all little parts of you. It made his heart ache.

“I know. I wanted to tell her I’m sorry.”

“If you didn’t come, I was supposed to take that box to you. But you already found it.”

“Did she tell you anything else?”

“I don’t have her number,” she said bluntly. “Jin already asked me and Robbie. She just said we should be good and she’d send us presents from England.”

Jungkook took one last look around your room. The lucky pig you’d won at the arcade for your birthday still sat on your bed, so he picked it up and put it in the box. The pressed flower bookmark you’d made in middle school went in next – it was your birth flower. He found two mixtapes in your desk drawer, remnants of that weird CD burning phase you went through when everyone else was making playlists.

He added a few stray photos his grandmother had taken of you both using her ancient Polaroid, a book of poems you loved, and the silver charm bracelet you’d stopped wearing when the clasp broke last year. He’d given you at least half the charms on that bracelet anyway, so it was half his.

When Emmie raised her brows at his blatant theft, he shrugged. “Tell her she’ll have to talk to me if she wants her stuff back.”

Back at his house, he put the box in his closet and thought about the year ahead. Almost as far back as he could remember, you’d celebrated your birthdays together. This year, he’d be alone. He wouldn’t walk to school with you, and you wouldn’t share classes. You wouldn’t be on the bleachers during his baseball games, holding up your hand drawn signs. There would be no silly, senior year prom poses together. He’d graduate alone.

But you’d have to come back eventually. Maybe for the holidays, or at least before college. When you did, he’d do whatever it took to fix this.