#i mean i almost never watch youtubers anyway
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sweetieboness · 2 days ago
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Tips for long fasts (24+ hours)
lol what a coincidence for me to see this while on a 24 hr fast! honestly doll i don’t think i’m qualified enough to give advice as i am still a fasting amateur 😭 (longest was 45 something hours) but i’ll try!
keep yourself busy and do something else. now i know this sounds obvious and you’ve already heard this but this is the best tip i find. the easiest way is if you go to uni/school or work and keep busy there. if u don’t have that then literally do anything else. watch a movie/finish a show, take an everything shower, do ur laundry, take a nap etc. a fun thing i like to do is complete tasks and in my head say “i’ll eat after i finish this,” before moving onto the next thing and repeating the words before thinking “i’ll just eat later”. eventually you’ll just completely forget about eating i promise because u almost trick ur mind.
drink water/whatever is 0 cal. yes this is obvious but i’ll mention it anyways. drink water all the time if u can. really helps to keep you full. i personally prefer hot water because the warmth makes me feel more full. you can drink black coffee/plain tea too if u can. a more dangerous tip for this is nic0tine. my fav combo is coke zero and a cig, yum 😋. but OBVIOUSLY pls be careful with this, honestly if u don’t already smoke then don’t start. there’s also drugs i guess? but i’ve never done that so i have no opinion to give.
watch th!np0/disgusting mukbangs. if you STILL want to eat then hop onto youtube and pull up some classic 3d content. secret eaters, 0bese wieiad tiktoks, disgusting mukbangs… the sky is the limit (i’m talking about loud eating sounds, extreme portions, spilling food everywhere, just generally gross) it will take away ur appetite TRUST. my fav show for this is supersize vs superskinny. the supersizer’s diet can deter ur appetite and the superskinny’s are great motivation.
fake it till you make it. delude yourself. literally. you don’t need the food right now because ur already sk|nny! think about how even more beautiful u will become when u lose the weight. f4sting is just a step u have to take to get there. it’s discipline. it’s all in ur head. if you can’t even control yourself for a few hours, how will u ever be th1n?
don’t push yourself. now this might seem a bit ironic from the last tip but i really mean it. if you’re ever f4sting and u feel extremely ill or about to pass out, then break it. eat a proper nutritious meal right before beginning so u feel fuller and last longer. remember, there’s no point passing out and hurting yourself just to f4st for a few more hours.
i’ll add more if i can think of any but that’s all i have. everyone, feel free to share some in the comments if u want! and i hope my amateur tips were of some help to u ^^
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sabertoothwalrus · 11 months ago
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I’m glad y’all are having fun but you cannot expect that I will ever watch a 4 hour youtube essay 🫡
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spiderziege · 2 years ago
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i think one day ill have to actually make a german mcyt history chart but i keep falling down rabbit holes
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ghostbeam · 2 months ago
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Oblivi_n.exe | Dabi/Touya Todoroki
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Touya Todoroki, known as ‘Dabi’ to the league, quirk class: cremation, mech title: Blue. You’re his new handler. 
As Dabi’s new handler, you’re well aware of his history, how frequently he goes through handlers assigned to him. Not that he ever uses them—it’s more complete resistance. You’re not particularly good at your job. Transferred from the PLF for lack of success in handling any of their pilots, you’ve always been far too gentle. You lack authority. Your pilots never respected you. You don’t think Dabi will be any different. You give it a week. 
Notes: okay wow hiiiii it’s been a long time since I’ve posted an actual fic (nearing almost a year now😬) this is something I’ve been working on for a bit. I have mech brain rot curtesy of @streimiv and @hawnks (both of whom this is dedicated to bc there’s no way I could have written this without yapping to them abt it and also mint helped me come up w the acronym for HERO’s) and we’ve all got our own mech fics in the works atm but anywayssssss this is kind of my baby atm but I hope it makes sense it’s very inspired first and foremost by pacific rim and then also NGE (mostly through consumption of YouTube vids bc I haven’t actually watched it pls don’t hate me) it’s a whole mess of things and Dabi is kind of a bitch and reader is slowly coming into herself and at the end of the day they both wanna be metal fused to one another forever (no matter how hard he denies it) also I’m not a huge computer person idk if this title makes sense so don’t make fun of me pls ok anyways I hope u like it!!!!
Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, pilot!Dabi x handler!reader, there’s no explicit sexual content in this part, not even a kiss sorry guys, mentions of robot gore (exposed wires, insides described as guts), brief descriptions of being trapped inside a small space, descriptions of burning while inside said space, mention of surgery to fashion a metal jaw onto someone, mentions of child abuse (nothing graphic just allusions to the todoroki family and touya’s past), angst, many run on sentences, a small cliff hanger
Words: 7.9k
Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 (coming soon)
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You are nothing without your machine.
It’s the first rule, the first thing beaten into his brain by his father. You carry the burden of the mech alone, or you’re weak. You don’t exist. 
U.A. raises the best and brightest pilots, navigators, mechanics, and handlers, each one carefully trained to ensure the most important outcome: winning. It should be protection. It should be defense. But if Touya has learned anything at all, it’s that winning means glory. It means worship. It means HERO’s (Human Engineered Robotic Objects) are saints, and pilots are gods. 
 Touya used to be one of those best and brightest before his accident. 
First son to Enji Todoroki, Touya was supposed to be the golden child, the first Todoroki to pilot without a handler. He was supposed to carry the burden alone, something his father couldn’t do, something only one man has ever actually been capable of. 
But Touya is born weak, bad bones, a brain unable to handle all that the mech needs to unload onto it. One too many accidents results in him being expelled from the pilot program, his HERO discarded and collecting dust in its pod, and Touya is promptly transferred to mechanics. 
It should have been a smooth transition. If one kid can’t handle it, the next will. Because they have to. 
He doesn’t take the news well. It’s a fit of tears, a persistent fight, unable to accept the loss of his machine—of his body. Because Touya loves it. What he lacks in strength, he makes up for in pure passion, and despite being unable to handle the burden, there’s no denying that he’s good. He’s almost perfect. 
But almost is not enough for Enji Todoroki, and no matter how hard Touya tries, he’s made up his mind. 
After months of mechanics, Touya makes a decision. When the next fleet of HERO’s is deployed for the next kaiju battle, Touya sneaks in among the chaos, tucked neatly inside the chest of his machine where he belongs. It doesn’t take long for things to go south, for Touya to get caught in the crossfire, losing control of his mech and burning from the inside out. 
It should be an excruciating death, stuck inside a machine made for war, fire raining from above as a battle continues on outside without him. 
But he survives, because what he lacks in strength, he makes up for in resilience, and his mech is programed with solutions to every situation. He’s stuck inside for months before he’s found.
Tomura Shigaraki rescues him, pries open the chest of his mech and pulls him from inside. His group feeds him, takes him in, fashions a new jaw for him made from the metal of his mech, and allows him the decision to join their cause or go back home. 
And since there’s no home to go back to, Touya finds his footing with the league and becomes one of their top pilots. One who vehemently resists any and all handlers.
Touya Todoroki, known as ‘Dabi’ to the league, quirk class: cremation, mech title: Blue. You’re his new handler. 
As Dabi’s new handler, you’re well aware of his history, how frequently he goes through handlers assigned to him. Not that he ever uses them—it’s more complete resistance. You’re not particularly good at your job. Transferred from the PLF for lack of success in handling any of their pilots, you’ve always been far too gentle. You lack authority. Your pilots never respected you. You don’t think Dabi will be any different. You give it a week. 
Following closely behind Tenko, formerly Tomura, he quickly explains to you the in’s and out’s of the pilot/handler relationship, along with a warning about Dabi’s resentment toward the whole idea. You try to keep up, but he talks quickly and uses his hands a lot. Even so, you can tell he’s a natural leader, something he had to grow into after overthrowing the man who raised him. His story is a tragic one, and it resonates with you because Tenko came out the other side stronger. Now, the league is a community with a cause, one you really believe in. Even if you and Dabi aren’t the right fit, you still have a place here. 
You follow Tenko into what he calls the garage, a large floor of the abandoned academy that serves as the league’s base, this part of it full of HERO’s and mechanics all focused on the machines in front of them. It’s completely different from how HERO’s were worked on at UA, where you grew up, and even the PLF didn’t have one dedicated floor to this sort of work. You can feel the energy of the room buzzing on your skin, music blasting from old radios and mechanics tossing tools towards one another in a familiar routine. Tomura leads you to Dabi and his HERO, Blue, though you’re instructed not to call it a HERO around him. With goggles over his eyes and gloved hands, he brings two wires from Blue’s ankle together, sighing at the way they spark each time they connect. 
“Dabi.” Tomura calls over the music coming from the radio hanging off of Dabi’s waist. He drops the wires and his gaze flickers toward the two of you. Pushing his goggles up to his forehead, he gives you a once over. His eyes are the brightest you’ve ever seen—kaiju blood blue—and burn scars litter his body. He’s striking in a way you’ve never seen, almost too beautiful to be human. Giving Dabi your name, Tomura explains that you’re taking over as his handler, seeing as he couldn’t keep the last one for more than a couple of days. “She’s your last handler. If you can’t keep this one, then go ahead and fry your brain. See if I care.”
“You say that every time.” Dabi calls from around sucker as Tomura walks away, leaving you alone with your new pilot. 
You just your hand out in a greeting, “I’m looking forward to working with you.”
Eyeing your hand, Dabi shakes his head and turns his back to you, picking the two wires back up and connecting them again, despite the same spark from before igniting between the two. He looks back up at Blue, touching his fingers to the slim lines starting at the back of her ankle and running all the way up her leg. You peak over his shoulder at the wiring, noticing that he’s connecting two of the wrong ones. 
“It’s the wrong wire.” You tell him, and he spins around to look at you, tearing his goggles from his face as he scoffs. 
“Here we go.” He sighs with a roll of his eyes, pulling the candy from his lips and tossing it onto the tool cart without a care. “Handler know-it-all bullshit. This is my mech.”  
You push passed him and grab the similarly colored wire from beside a red wire and connect it with the one in Dabi’s right hand. Blue lights up cyan through the thin lines that run along each of its limbs and torso, connecting with the two cameras within its head, which seem to blink before the light reaches them. 
In an instant, you’re being pushed up against the hard metal, a strong arm over your chest—pinning you up against the HERO. Dabi, now having discarded his goggles, looks at you full of white, hot rage. 
“Don’t fucking touch her.” He growls. You’re suddenly aware of the close proximity, eyes flickering between the snarl across his lips and his angry gaze. For a beat, you both freeze, the air suddenly charged like you’re waiting for one another to strike. Snapping yourself out of his hypnotic stare, you push against his chest, forcing him to let you go. 
“If I’m going to be you’re handler, you’re going to have to trust me with her.” You remind him. He lets out a harsh laugh, like he can’t believe you would suggest such a ridiculous idea. 
“I don’t trust anything but this machine.” He speaks, turning away from you to seal up the machine’s exposed wires. It’s a challenge you’re willing to accept.
“Well, I’m here to change that.” You tell him, before turning on your heel to leave him alone. 
He thinks he’ll give you a week. 
One of the worst parts of being assigned a handler, Touya thinks, is the way that pilot/handler living quarters are set up. He assumes the academy, before it was abandoned and turned into a base for the league, created this sort of set up so that handlers could keep a close eye on their pilots. The handlers Touya has burned through up until now also assumed the same. 
The door that connects both the pilot’s and handler’s dorms doesn’t lock, and all of Touya’s past handlers have taken advantage of this fact. He’s been pulled out of bed far too early, pushed around and commanded and barked at. Most handlers behaved as if pilots belonged to them, which was the sentiment drilled into their brains from being thrown into such a fucked up system at a young age.—unless you were a pilot of status like a Todoroki. While he league dedicates a lot of its time to reversing these ideas, most handlers look at Touya like some kind of challenge, this arrogant pilot begging to be tamed. It never takes long for them to realize how easily he’s able to flip the switch on them. You’ll be no different.
But hours pass and you still haven’t entered. You don’t swing the door open and demand he apologize for his behavior earlier. You don’t try and punish him with training regimes, a command of a set of push ups, a schedule you expect him to follow, an extremely detailed meal plan. The entire evening comes and goes without so much as a sound on the other side of the door so he knows you’re even behind it. 
He falls asleep unnerved by this, waking up late into the night in a cold sweat, expecting you to barge in, rip the covers from his body and demand to train together. When he wakes up (peacefully) the next morning, there’s no sign of you. He rises from his bed, drinks orange juice straight from the carton and eats a candy bar for breakfast. He fiddles with the navigation screen from his mech that stopped working a couple of days ago, tools spread out on the counter in front of him. Once he’s got the thing working again, your knock sounds from the unlocked door between the two of you. He thinks this might be it, the commands he expects to fall from your lips at the ready as he swings the door open, but you stand there, nervous, hands twitching as your eyes finally meet his.
Greeted by a shirtless Touya, hair mused from sleep, cargo pants hung low on his hips, dog tags swinging against his chest, his scars on display, unashamed and proud. The sight of him knocks the breath out of you, and you clear your throat in embarrassment, hoping your state of dreaming comes off as nerves rather than lust. 
“Dabi. Or do you prefer Touya?” You smile. When he doesn’t answer, you continue. “I wanted to see if you wanted to eat breakfast together in the caf. I think we should start over. Yesterday was—”
You’re promptly cut off, “I already ate breakfast.”
With a harsh slam of the door, he leaves you stunned in your room.
You eat alone. 
When you started as a pilot, back when you’d entered UA (a few years about Touya’s accident), you went into it believing you could change the world. The exam had placed you into the position of handler, and you were assigned a pilot who had always seemed a little frightened of you despite your obvious lack of authority. Bringing the fact up to your instructors did nothing. They all assured you that this was the ideal dynamic, that the handler always had the upper hand, but you hated that feeling. You weren’t a team like you expected to be; you were urged to control your pilot. You were there to keep them in line, not to be a pillar of support. The bond was never built on trust, and the soul link was always a looming threat. No matter how many pilots you went through, the link was never held as a gift, but a prison, something you would both be stuck with for the betterment of society, a sacrifice to make. 
You’d been expelled from the handler program after guiding your pilot to help save another in the wreckage of your first battle together, resulting in the damage of your pilot’s HERO. Your pilot was okay, but the other couldn’t be saved, and you were blamed for the damage of both mech’s. 
When you found the league (or when the league found you), you were working with the PLF, but proved to be a weak handler. Every pilot you were assigned to took advantage of your optimistic outlook on the kind of relationship dynamic that pilots had with their handlers. Despite all that you had been through at UA, and with the rest of the pilots you’d been paired with after, you never gave up the hope that handlers and pilots could behave as a team, or, even better, one entity. 
Tenko had taken one look at you and demanded you’d be transferred to the league. There hadn’t been much of a choice in the matter, not that you really cared. You were miserable everywhere else. But when you arrived at the abandoned academy and taken a peak behind the kudzu covered walls where each and every area of the building acted as multiple moving parts in collaboration with one another in order to create one massive system, you realized that this was the future you imagined for yourself—and for the world you lived in.
Tenko saw something in you that day, something you aren’t sure you even see in yourself. And so Dabi was your first task, one that’s proving to be very difficult. But he doesn’t treat you like all the other pilots before had. He doesn’t use you. In fact, it seems like he wants nothing to do with you. And while that’s a problem, it’s still one you can work with. 
You’re broken from your thoughts by the sound of a voice through an overhead intercom asking for everyone to meet on the first floor of the academy at their earliest convenience. Judging by the quick movements of those around you, you figure you’d better head downstairs as soon as possible. 
The meeting on the first floor makes you very aware of just how small the league really is. While it’s definitely not a tiny organization, it’s still much smaller than both UA and the PLF. With everyone piled up like this in one group, you realize it feels more like a community, and the hum of conversation that surrounds you comforts you in a way you’ve never felt within the walls of any other academy before. 
There’s discussion about the upcoming mission, one which may be the league’s most ambitious yet; the plan to hijack a mech and kidnap a pilot may be a little unorthodox compared to the league’s past missions, but the jaded pilot they’re targeting has a high chance of joining the cause. Or that’s what they have assumed. As the bodies move and speak around you, it strikes you how different this meeting is from any other meeting you’ve ever been a part of. Tenko is less a dictator and more a wrangler for the disembodied voices of your peers. 
You don’t know much about his story, save for the vague details you’ve heard, but Tenko’s status as a lone handler is something you find yourself curious about. If he’s able to work without a pilot, why can’t you? It’s an idea you keep in your back pocket, one you think you can fall back on if things with Touya don’t work out. But you want them to work out. So badly. 
You aren’t sure what it is about him, but he’s reignited that spark inside of you. You know he’d rather you give up, and maybe the you from a couple of months ago would have, but something about him—and this place—won’t let you leave. 
As you observe the meeting, you take the time to look around the room, taking in your peers and their attentive faces as they listen to Tenko intently. You turn to your right, your eyes meeting a pair of blue ones, impossible to miss. Dabi holds your stare for what feels like ages, and when your colleagues erupt in a fit of many simultaneous discussions, you tear your eyes from his to observe the commotion. When you glance back in his direction, he’s gone. 
You don’t seem him again after that. You train with other handlers, get to know your peers a little better. Everyone else seems to be welcoming, and most offer you sympathy when they find out you’re Touya’s new handler. From what you can gather, he’s had his fair share of them, all of which have quit or left in hysterics due to his harsh nature. When you ask around about where he could be, you’re told that he’s most likely in the garage, a place you assume he’s in more often than not.
You don’t know if you’ll ever get used to the garage. A place so completely different, so against the ideas and beliefs of any other academy you’ve been a part of, the chaos and community within is so foreign to you. You find Touya with Blue, working inside of her chest, where the cockpit is. 
“Touya!” You call up to him and watch as he peaks his head over the edge of her metal plating. Annoyance falling across his face, he jumps down from where he stands, landing hard on his feet in front of you. 
“What are you doing here?” He questions, his figure so tall and imposing above you. He’s not particularly muscular, not even all that tall compared to Tenko, but he makes you feel small regardless, in more ways than one. Rolling your shoulders back, you stare straight into his eyes, unwilling to back down. 
“I figured you wanted your space today.” You explain, as Touya moves around you to get to his rolling cart of tools, forcing you to turn toward him and follow him if you want him to hear you. “I know adjusting to a new handler is rough, and I never want to make you uncomfortable. But I was thinking we could try some of those pilot/handler bonding exercises. It might be good to start training like some of the others do.”
He drops the wrench in his hand onto his cart with a loud thud, turning around toward you with a look of disbelief on his face. “Pilot/handler bonding exercises? They really brainwashed the shit out of you at UA, huh?”
At the mention of your past academy, your eyes widen in surprise. You had no idea he knew about that. Clearing your throat in order to compose yourself, you speak again, “I left UA for a reason. I have no attachment to their methods, but you guys do the same stuff here, so what’s the issue?”
“The issue is that I never asked for a fucking handler in the first place, especially not one as eager as you.” He spits, “Sure, you’re understanding now, all that bullshit about ‘giving me space,’ but the moment you get a lick of power over me, you’ll change. You’re not different.”
“I don’t want power over you. This is an equal exchange. Pilot’s and handlers are meant to be a team—” You try and argue, but he doesn’t let you finish. 
“That’s what they told you, right? We’re a team, and as teammates, you make sacrifices. And it doesn’t matter if one of you turns into the other’s braindead dog because that’s your place.” His words hit you hard, the exact thought process you went through when leaving UA, completely disillusioned with their idea of “teamwork.” He’s right, and you know it, but since coming here, you thought that wasn’t how it had to be.
“Look, trust me, I get—” You’re cut off again.
“You went to UA! There’s no trusting you.” He scoffs, “It’s not like you’ll last here, anyway.”
“You are such a hypocrite! You’re from UA!” You retort, throwing your arms up in desperation. “You can hate me all you want. You can resist and resist and fry your brain ‘till there’s nothing left, but I believe in this shit. And you don’t get to tell me that I don’t, or tell me I’ll turn into something I worked so hard to get away from.”
Touya stands there, surprised by your outburst, completely unaware that you were capable of all of that. He doesn’t say anything back, and you roll your eyes. “So fuck you, and, by the way, her angel port is smoking.”
At your words, he turns in a rush, seeing the smoke billowing from Blue’s chest as he climbs his way up her form. Once inside his machine, he extinguishes the port and allows himself to relax. There are two things on his mind in this moment: how you could have possibly known it was the angel port without being inside of Blue’s chest and how, for the first time in a long time, he feels bad for his handler.
But for you, it’s the first time you’ve ever held your own against a pilot before, and that feels good.
Something feels weird.
Off, unsettling, strange.
He realizes, much to his dismay, that it’s your absence. Despite only having you around for such a short time, Touya has realized that your lack of presence now feels wrong. He hates it. He hates you. 
He can’t find you. You haven’t knocked on his door. You’re not in the caf, not the garage, not the sparring floor, not in your room. And he did check—without knocking. 
He’s not even sure how he can feel an absence. You aren’t a regular part of his life, and he never wanted you to be. But he feels all fucked up.
During training, Touya jams Blue’s halo core and she leaks vibrant neon from between her ribs. It takes him half an hour to get her reboot her system and rips one of the cables attached to the back of his suit in the process. He spends the afternoon cleaning HERO fluid off the sparring floor. 
During repairs, he shocks himself over and over while trying to fix her core, fingers burning from the sparks each time he arranges the wires inside. The cameras in her eyes won’t work from the reboot, and Blue won’t let him unlock the lens panel to fix it. It’s almost like she’s mad at him too.
He’s a complete mess. It’s your fault. He has no choice but to go looking for you. Again.
He searches every wing of the academy before concluding that you’re in your room. He barges through the joint door, spotting you at the counter in your tiny kitchen. You’re surprised by the intrusion, a frightened gasp falling from your lips as you jump in your seat. You turn toward him, prepared with angry words on your tongue, but Touya speaks first.
“You’re not getting an apology out of me, so don’t expect it.” He begins, moving to stand in front of your swiveling kitchen stool as he looks down at you. “But I’m willing to be civil with you, so we don’t have to do this shit anymore.”
You’re not exactly sure what “this shit” is, but Touya looks a little worse for wear at the moment, so you don’t question it. He places a tray from the caf down in front of you that you hadn’t noticed in his hands upon arrival, says nothing else, and turns to leave the room. After shutting your joint door, you look down at the tray of food, noticing one of his suckers placed onto a vacant compartment of the tray. 
You’re greeted the next morning with a knock on your door, Touya dressed in his pilot’s suit on the other side as you swing the door open. “C’mon. You’re gonna watch me train today.”
You watch him turn around to leave, expecting you to follow. You rush to pull on your combat boots and grip your dog tags in your fist as you rush to catch up to him. He doesn’t spare you a glance as you fall into step beside him, taking a look around his dorm before he leads you through the exit door. 
“You need to get a feel for my fighting style.” He explains as you walk down the corridor. “I’m not saying I’ll listen to you when it comes down to it, but it’s important for you to know.”
You nod, agreeing that you should definitely observe him inside of his HERO. By understanding his moves, you’ll be able to understand the way he thinks, and you’ll be able to help him in actual combat if needed. He’s already said he won’t listen to you, but it won’t stop you from trying. He stops abruptly, turning to look at you, and you stop with him. 
“If we’re gonna do this, it’ll be on my terms. I’m not your dog.” He tells you, seriously. He eye’s you up and down, taking in your expression as you nod at his words. “If anything, you’re mine.”
He begins walking again, leaving you in your spot, irritation filling your chest as you watch him, smug. “Asshole.” You curse under your breath.
“What’d you say?” He barks, turning to look at you abruptly.
“You’re an asshole.” You speak louder. He walks back toward you, making sure to tower over you intimidatingly as he looks down at you in annoyance. His eyes flicker down to the tags around your neck before hooking a finger on the chain and pulling you closer. 
“Watch it.” He drops the chain and walks away again. 
You follow him to the sparring floor, and he shows you where to go to watch. Stood behind a large window that looks over the sparring area, other members of the base watch the HERO’s engage in combat below. You spot Tenko and he motions for you to stand beside him. 
“I knew he’d warm up to you.” He comments. The last of the previous battle finishes and you watch the two enormous machines retreat to the sides of the area, their pilots emerging from their chests with their handlers rushing to the bottom of the mech’s in support. 
“He hasn’t. He’s not.” You shake your head. You aren’t sure why you deny it, if it’s some way to keep your expectations low or if there’s some kind of embarrassment aspect to the whole thing. Whatever is happening between you and Touya feels intimate and private, something that the two of you need to figure out for yourselves, not something meant for the eyes of others.
“Hm. Okay.” Tenko shrugs. “Guess not.”
You hadn’t noticed Touya enter his mech at all. You see the swing of one giant mechanic arm, too close to the window you stand behind, and you’ve shifted your full attention to the scene at hand. 
The enormity of the room surprises you, despite the fact that you had seen it just moments before. But when you’re truly looking at it, watching these huge machines go at each other, the way the ground shakes, the leaves outside shake, the deep forrest clear in view from the wall that opens out to the greenery (the lack of a wall is likely from the academy’s abandoned state, but it’s a good feature to have on the sparring floor when giant robots are toppled over onto various surfaces).
The way Blue moves is electric, mechanic movements almost feel fluid with the way that Touya pilots her, easily dodging attacks from their opponent and moving around them in the most graceful way a giant machine can. It’s beautiful, unlike any fighting style you’ve ever seen in a HERO before. 
“He’s showing off for you.” Tenko observes from beside you. You don’t argue with him, only because you can’t dispute it. This is your first time seeing him in action. It makes your heart beat out of your chest. There’s this ache like you should be inside with him, cables connected to both of you, tucked neatly inside of Blue together. 
It doesn’t take him long to get his opponent on their back, the heavy thump against the floor jostling the ant-like figures on the ground below, handlers waiting for their pilots to finish. It goes on like this for a while, his training, using different methods of combat and winning each time. He’s amazing, and you can tell why his reputation is the way it is, second only to Tenko, who you have yet to see in action. 
When he finishes his last session, you watch Blue walk to the edge of the room, and Touya emerges from her chest, jumping the long way down her body without any issue. You watch as he looks toward the window you’re behind. He waves at you, an acknowledgment of your presence, and you wave back, though you aren’t sure he can actually see you.
It’s the beginning of everything for the two of you. You think Tenko was right.
He lets you stay with him afterwards while he does maintenance on Blue. He helps you climb up the path to her chest, hauling you over the edge to sit inside with him. He turns around abruptly, holding a hand up before allowing you to walk any further.
“Do not touch anything.” He warns, completely serious, before letting his hand fall and allowing you further into the cockpit. You take in your surroundings, the guts of his machine, analyzing the different control panels and screens that line the interior. You can tell he takes good care of her, and he spends a lot of time in here. It looks lived in, stickers stuck to metal plating and pieces of him all over. He’s made a second home in between the ribs of his mech. You feel a little jealous, though you aren’t sure of what. 
The two of you sit against the left side of Blue’s interior, waiting for her updates to finish, the loading screen on each of her monitors display a fire graphic that grows with the increasing percentage on screen. Between you and Touya sits an opened bag of sour gummies, which Touya picks out the lemon flavor and drops the candy in your palm with each new handful he gathers. 
“How do you know all this stuff?” He questions around a mouthful of sour cherry, “Like, the real names for things, where stuff goes, how to fix them. That day with the wires…”
“I spent a lot of time around mechanics at UA, and then also at the PLF.” You explain, picking the yellow colored candy from his open palm as you speak. “I couldn’t connect with other handlers. I didn’t like how they thought, or how they viewed the pilot/handler relationship. Mechanics were mostly neutral, and they loved these machines like nothing else. They reminded me of why I joined UA in the first place.”
“Hm.” He nods, thinking about your past. “Well, I guess if you spent so much time around actual professionals…I could maybe use your help sometimes in the garage.”
“Really?” You question excitedly, a spark lighting up your eyes as you swerve your head toward him. He feels something tight in his chest at the sight.
“Yes, but only on the outside. I don’t want you messing with her insides, yet.” He establishes. “And never alone. I have to be there at all times.”
“Of course, yes, oh my god. Touya!” You smile, gripping his shoulder firmly, a gesture of thanks, communication of how much his trust means to you. “I’ll be so careful with her, I promise.”
“Yeah, well, you have no other choice.” He shrugs, throwing another pile of candy in his mouth. “I’ll kill you if anything happens to her.”
You take the threat seriously, but his heart isn’t in it. He’s realized that you’ve wormed your way into his life and he hadn’t even noticed just how entangled you were now. 
As the weeks go by, you spend a lot more time together. You work on blue together, and you rest inside of her chest, sometimes allowing yourself to drift off against his shoulder on especially tiring days. He sits beside you in the caf, and while he doesn’t always say much, the feeling of his arm against yours is comforting. You can tell people are starting to notice, and they’re starting to talk. You’re being dubbed someone who’s tamed him, but you know how far from the truth that is. 
Despite your differences and the petty arguments that come up when Touya feels like you’re intruding on his independence, you’re growing attached. You wonder if he is, too.
Spending time together in the garage becomes the new normal for the two of you. Being in each other’s dorms feels far too intimate, so you always meet in the garage. This way, one of you is always busy doing something with your hands. There’s no room for any strange feelings in the pit of your stomach to seep in. 
You sit in the crook of Blue’s neck, watching Touya as he repairs the lenses in her “eyes.” Blue has three pairs of eyes; in her head, her chest, and down near her hips, which all footage is projected onto monitors inside the cockpit so that Touya has a full view of what’s in front of him. 
He’s so peaceful while he works, you’ve noticed, almost like he goes somewhere else completely. It’s a part of him you don’t think many people get to see, a piece of him just for you, and you want to be selfish with it.
“Can I ask you something?” You question, leaning your head back against the metal. “But you can’t get mad.”
He looks up at you, still fiddling with a lens, a mocking look on his face. “I’m not making any promises.”
You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for the possible fallout of the question you’re about to ask, “What do you think about the soul link?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I’d never do it.”
You nod your head in understanding, “yeah, I get it. It’s weird, right? The idea that someone else would be inside your brain.”
“It’s fucking invasive.” He says.
“You know, at UA it always felt like a threat, you know. Like, it was a way for a handler to control their pilot, not a tool or a bond like it should be.” You begin, thinking back to how you viewed the soul link back then. You didn’t like how the bond was presented as this power that a handler holds over their pilot, a threat to keep their pilot in line. But, you could understand how the link could be used for good. “But since coming here, I can tell it’s not all bad. People trust each other here. I mean, there’s obviously some people who abuse it, but, for the most part, everyone seems to understand what it really means to be a pilot and a handler.”
You’re mostly just thinking out loud, but Touya doesn’t say anything to your ramblings. He continues to work on the lenses, and you can gather that he doesn’t want to talk about the subject anymore. But you can’t let it go, yet. There’s something you’ve been worried about since you met him.
“And what about…your brain? They say when a handler and a pilot don’t complete the soul link, the pilot will eventually fry their brain.” You can’t help it. You think about it all the time, what will happen when he can’t take it anymore. The closer you get to him, the realer it feels. “Are you ever worried about that?”
He looks at you, an expression you can’t quite make out fall across his face as he stares. It’s almost soft, the way he looks at you in this moment. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
The truth is, this is a reality Touya has accepted. He’s not afraid to die, and he never has been. He’ll probably die inside of Blue, and he has no problem with that fact. He doesn’t need to be around for long, just enough to show his dad what he’s capable of.
“C’mon.” You stare. “That’s not fair.”
“Shit. I left some of the screws for this in my dorm.” He curses. He looks where you lounge, tucked into Blue’s shoulder. “Keep an eye on her, okay?”
You watch him jump down, much higher than his usual height at her chest, but he lands anyway. He doesn’t turn to look back at you as he jogs away. You climb up the side of Blue, and look at the lenses in her head. They’re already repaired, and you know Touya used the excuse of missing screw just so he wouldn’t have to talk about the soul link.
But it’s the first time he’s ever left you alone with Blue before. 
As the mission draws closer, Touya throws himself into training. You’re on the training floor with him most days, standing behind that big glass panel as you watch him spar with his peers. He still doesn’t let you down on the floor with him until he’s full out of Blue and close enough to the edge of the sparring floor to get to you. You’re not allowed in the actual training area, and even though he says he doesn’t want you clinging to him, it’s really because he wants to keep you safe. Seeing your human body near the giant machines that are HERO’s makes him want to grab you and keep you inside of Blue’s chest forever. 
You can tell all the training is taking a toll on him. With an excess of headaches and the occasional nosebleed, you continuously get into arguments about him cutting back on training inside of Blue. There are other ways for him to prepare that don’t involve his fragile brain being hooked up to an entity that takes so much. He doesn’t listen.
Later and later into the night, as your fellow pilots and handlers disperse and return to their rooms to sleep, Touya stays inside of Blue, testing her movements and sparring against test dummies and obstacles. Once you and Touya are the only two left on the sparring floor, you speak into the intercom attached to your head.
“Touya, I think you should take a break.” You tell him, “It’s late. Get some rest and then we can pick it back up in the morning.”
There’s a pause, then, “I’m gonna stay for another hour. Get some sleep. I’ll be done soon.”
“No, Touya. You’ve been at it for hours. You barely took a break for dinner. C’mon.” 
“You know, you sound awfully like a handler trying to tell their pilot what to do.” He teases, but you can hear the irritation in his voice.
“You are insufferable. I’m worried about you.” You groan.
“I’m fine. Go sleep.” He insists.
“If I find out you aren’t out of here in an hour—” Your line is promptly cut off, leaving behind static in your ear. You sigh and throw your com to the side. You hope he’s telling the truth.
With one last look at Blue, you make your way out of the training floor and find your way back to your dorm. 
Touya doesn’t answer the door when you knock the next morning. With a frustrated groan, you leave your dorm and head to the training floor, assuming he woke up early to get some extra hours in. The closer you get the the floor, you notice other members of the base rushing in front of you. Feeling panicked, you pick up the pace, jogging toward the training room to make sure something isn’t wrong. You collide with a body in front of you, nearly falling to the floor as you steady yourself. Toga stands in front of you, her cheeks red and eyes glossy as she explains something your mind can’t catch up to understand. The only thing you recognize is his name, and you’re running toward the training floor in an instant. 
You watch as Blue stomps around the area, her arms swinging in all directions, losing her footing as she moves. Knowing you can’t do anything on the floor, you make your way up to the overlook, finding Tenko yelling into your intercom. 
“What’s going on? What’s happening?” You ask him, pulling the headset off of his head and placing it on yours instead. 
“He’s out of fucking control. He won’t answer. I don’t even think he’s conscious in there.” He tells you, running a hand through his hair, pulling at the roots in anxiety. “You’re not linked yet, are you?”
You shake your head, closing your eyes in frustration as you try to think. You know it’s the only way. You have to take some of the burden off of him, make him share it with you. It’s the only way he’ll survive right now. “Do you think you can get into Decay right now and knock him down somehow?”
He hesitates, “I can get inside. I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to touch him at all.”
“You have to.” You plead, desperately. “I just need him down for ten seconds, tops. As long as I can get inside of her, I can save him.”
He looks at you like you’re insane, and maybe you are. But you know you can’t live with yourself if you don’t try something. Tenko nods.
“I can do it.” He tells you. You rush passed him, following the stairs down to the training area. You feel Tenk grab your wrist firmly. “You bring him back, okay?”
“I will.” You nod. 
He dodges Blue’s movements, weaving between her legs as he finally makes it to Decay. It takes a few moments for him to connect, but he goes straight for Blue. You watch the giant machines fight one another, but it’s clear that Blue’s lack of control hinders much of her ability. She needs Touya just as much as he needs her. It’s tough for Decay to dodge her swinging arms, but Tenko manages to knock her down quickly.
The fall shakes the room, but you waste no time running for Blue. Climbing over the side of her, you manage to touch your thumb to the pad on the outside to open her chest up. She begins to stand up, and you slip down, grabbing onto a bar beneath her ribcage. You let out a frustrated groan as you try to pull yourself up over the edge of the cockpit. Finally making it over, you see Touya sitting there, still connected to his pilot’s chair, eyes glazed over and blood gushing from his nose. You push the button that closes the panel in Blue’s chest, and you’re suddenly alone with him. 
Touya’s body is being jerked around by the movement of the mech, and you hang onto the walls of her chest in order to make your way to him. You situate yourself in his lap, taking his head in your hands as you look at him with tears in your eyes.
“You fucking asshole! I told you to take a break.” You sob, resting your head against his as you try and think of what to do next. “Touya, please. Please, baby, I need to you come back. Just fucking come back so I don’t have to do this without your permission, please.”
With no response from him, you wipe your tears, coming to terms with the fact that you have to complete the soul link now, or he’ll die. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Touya. Please forgive me.”
The soul link isn’t exactly an action so much as it is a feeling, an experience. There’s no trigger for it, no way to make it happen. It just begins. 
It’s Touya, aged thirteen, wild, chubby-cheeked and happy, in the pilot’s seat of his father’s HERO. It’s his drive, his determination, his anger, his hurt. It’s the day he snuck into battle, the day he couldn’t get out, flesh burning and fusing to the metal walls of his mech, the feeling now deep in your skin. It’s you, aged fifteen, hopeful, alive, shaking hands with your first pilot. It’s your heart, much too big and much too open for your line of work, it’s your passion, your fire, every piece of you that was broken down again and again until there was nothing left. It’s Touya and it’s you, and every single bit of your souls now tied together in one big knot. 
There’s nothing but darkness. And then there’s screaming. And then you can hear everything. Every thought running through Touya’s brain right now echoes in your head as you slowly come back to yourself. He can hear the same of yours.
It’s overwhelming at first, to have two sets of thoughts in your head at the same time, but you manage to focus. You can feel an anger inside of you like you’ve never felt. It’s almost like it’s your own. You need to come back. You’ve lost control of Blue.
In an instant, you feel yourself come back to your body, now straddling Touya like before, you feel his arms shoot around you and he tucks his chin over your shoulder to pilot Blue like he’s used to doing. He pays no mind as he presses up against you, but you feel your heart rate increase at the closeness. 
He’s so close.
I have to be. You’re in my lap.
Shit. I didn’t think—
Clearly.
I can’t fucking believe you. I told you we weren’t going to do this.
You were dying!
Then you fucking let me!
You’re jostled around in his lap for a moment as he stops Blue from destroying any more of the training floor, and Touya wraps an arm around your waist, holding you steady.
He gains control of her quickly, moving her toward the edge of the room. You tuck your face into his neck, not wanting to distract him and keeping your thoughts at bay so you don’t overwhelm him. He powers Blue down, severing the neural connection between the two of you, and shoves you from his lap and into the pilot’s chair like you’ve burned him. He storms out of the cockpit, climbing out of his machine and leaving you inside. You think about the argument you had within each other’s head, how Touya would have rather died than be linked to you like he is now. 
You slump against the seat, comforted by the metal cage you’ve been left inside of. 
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anonymous-dentist · 11 months ago
Text
A Very Long qRoier Theory
Okay so here's what I actually think, and TRUST THE PROCESS OKAY:
I think that Roier really was kidnapped by the Federation, but I don't think that he was taken because he was looking for Cellbit strictly because the Feds themselves are actually more or less actively searching for the missing islanders and hoping for their return so they can continue the murder investigation. Despite the terrible things going on, the Feds legitimately want all their islanders/lab rats back on the island so they can continue with whatever experiment they're holding. Every time Cucurucho has held a meeting recently, it's asked about the status of the missing islanders, so it really wouldn't make sense for it or the Feds as a whole to punish their one single lead in the case when every actual Federation agent assigned to the case has either come up with nothing or disappeared entirely.
Nah, I think Roier was taken because he was vulnerable and because the Feds figured nobody would've missed him. They know that he isn't really super close with anybody on the island but Cellbit, and they know that he's been actively pushing people away for a while now- basically since Bobby's death, and moreso since his return from Purgatory.
Looking at the QSMP channel's streams, particularly Elena's, we know that the Feds seem to be a pharmaceutical company. They, simply speaking, make drugs. Look at the "happy pills" that Elena helped create, this is what the Feds do.
Roier mentioned that he was drugged. He never said that they stopped drugging him. I think he's still being drugged and that he isn't a rat- not a literal one, anyway.
I think that Roier is still under the effects of the drugs he's being given because he is currently a test subject. He's a lab rat.... at the moment, anyway.
More on that later.
Do I have any evidence for this? Not really, but also some things just didn't add up cinematically. Like, okay, go back and watch everything from after when Roier 'wakes up' in the dungeon:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Everything's got this weird otherworldly fuzziness and glow to it. It's almost dreamlike in a way. Only the focus of the world is, well, in focus. The rest is blurred like a bad 3D movie:
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There are all these weird cuts and jumps, too, like 11:16 when we suddenly cut to black for a few moments as Roier goes down the hallway, or 12:13 when we smash cut to the rat and 12:16 when we cut to Cucurucho. It's super sudden and jarring and it sets up a real nice feeling of unease (shoutout to ccRoier, this is SPECTACULAR)
And the music, okay, the background music is exactly the kind of shit you'd hear in a 'Dreamcore Music Video' on YouTube. It's super Backrooms, super weird esoteric vibes, and that's very on purpose.
None of this is real, and "Doied" is the final proof because like. He isn't real lol, if he's real then so is Roger, and the only times either of them front are when Roier's goofing around or when he's extremely homicidal (we saw Roger pretty recently, actually, back in October when he said that Cellbit killing everyone might be a good thing, actually.) Doied isn't like Abueloier or Melissa, he's one of Roier's 'alters', and he's a bit of a freak lol
I think about everyone can agree that this whole 'Ratoier' thing is a hallucination, but then we have to think, huh, what the hell does any of this mean?
First, we gotta follow the whole 'Roier is Currently Super Drugged' thing, because he is. He literally is. If he's not, well, laugh at me when the next tape comes out.
Roier is drugged by the Feds right now probably to test a new drug, possibly a drug meant to- just like the Happy Pills- make people happy again. In this case, however, I think that the pills may actually have something to do with memories, particularly the same memory retrieval stuff the Resistance did to Bagi. Because, well.
I want to go back to the rat, and I want to go back to Doied, because this stream actually implied a LOT about qRoier's character.
The thing about Doied is that he's the manifestation of Roier's "Um, actually!" Nerd Emoji self. He's a nerd. He's a loser with glasses and a nasty attitude.
Doied, in the dream, is a scientist. Doied, in the dream, performed horrible, inhumane experiments for the Federation. He put Roier's brain into a rat's, a lab rat's.
Once a long, long time ago in August, Roier quietly came to the realization that maybe he has a past history with the Federation and that's why Osito Bimbo has always been so weird about him- it basically had a crush on him for the first week or so of the island, and it still seems to, and he is still the only one outside of Foolish the Federation Employee to be addressed directly by his train ticket number: 0037. He brought up the possibility of being a Federation worker in the past to Cellbit, who brushed it off and said that he wouldn't care because he's a worker, too, technically, but what if it isn't a possibility?
We've always wondered how Federation workers end up the way they do. Why are they all the exact same type of bear? Why does only Cucurucho get to have a face and a voice? Why do they all have human minds and emotions? Why are they all dedicated to the Federation?
Easy. Because maybe they were people before, just like how Bagi and several other islanders think they are. But maybe someone put their brains inside of an animal's body- or, at least, inside of a worker's body, God only knows if they were actual polar bears at some point. Somebody had to help come up with that technology, and maybe it's the guy who managed to build an entire computer and radio-satellite setup over the span of about a week in his goddamn backyard without anybody knowing about it.
Roier has always had some weird connection with the Federation. He's the only civilian islander to ever be addressed by his ticket number, and later we find out that Foolish's ticket number- 0039- is his Federation Employee ID Number- W0039. He was Osito Bimbo's favorite for the first week on the island to the point of Osito just giving him whatever he wanted. He and Jaiden were paired up for the Egg Event (something that was intentional, btw, admin confirmed), and it's later revealed that Jaiden has a past with the Federation regarding the SMILE Units (aka Osito Bimbo and Cucurucho and the new guys.) The "Gods" (aka the admins) will happily follow him around and revive him when he's alone and strike him with lightning when asked and give him dirt and whatever. He managed to get someone onto the island from off of the island, Abueloier, and Abueloier was saved from the brink of death by the Federation in the Federation's hospital. His literal pet dog is a Federation employee. He got to name Jorgito the IV Drip.
Doied put someone's brain into the body of a rat, and Doied is Roier's nerd self.
I think that Roier may, in fact, have a past history with the Federation, and that it isn't because his grandfather worked/works for them. Maybe Roier did, just like he suspected months ago, and maybe he did some really bad things. But they were excused at the time because the people being converted into workers were bad people who made mistakes. Roier made the mistake of breaking the rules trying to connect with Cellbit, and so he got turned into a rat. There's been a functional prison on the island for long enough for it to be partially abandoned (see: Tazercraft Prison Stream.) Walter Bob was held there, possibly because he was part of the Resistance, or possibly because he wasn't done cooking yet.
Roier has always been a man of justice. When people do bad things, they get punished, and then things can go back to normal. He ruined Quackity's life. He wanted Slime to be properly punished for killing Tilin and he threatened to murder him when he tried threatening the kids. He built an entire torture dungeon in his basement for the explicit purpose of torturing Spreen to the point of death repeatedly and possibly for the rest of Spreen's miserable life. Cucurucho took Bobby away, and Roier said that the Federation would regret putting and keeping him on the island. Pozolito the Capybara blew Cellbit up, and Roier has literally tried killing every Capybara he's seen since. The Federation screwed with his family and with himself, and Roier is more than happy to join Cellbit in massacring the entire Federation.
He's a man of justice, but not of morals. He's a ruthless killer when it comes down to it, and he only shows regret when it comes to his husband's deaths during Purgatory. He doesn't fight unless he has to, but he's been thinking about killing everyone on the island since the first week of the server when he was betrayed. But, when it comes down to it, he doesn't actually want to hurt anyone he cares about. It's why Purgatory fucked him up so much.
His moral alignment actually matches up pretty well with several other Federation workers'- particularly workers like Elena and Fred who are nice but are willing to do terrible things in the name of their cause. The difference here is that Roier has had the same privilege that workers like Walter Bob and Ron got: he got a chance to socialize.
He doesn't have memories from before the island, but he remembers enough about his childhood to be a little suspicious.
But what if these drug-induced hallucinations are actually hints to Roier's backstory? What if it wasn't Doied running all these terrible experiments for the Federation, but it was Roier? Just a guy acting under the belief that he was making the world a better place, punishing criminals (aka rule breakers) while helping the Federation's cause: finding true happiness and spreading it to the world.
The Eye said that everybody in Purgatory was a sinner, and maybe Roier's sin was some mad scientist bullshit.
The dream today, Tape 1, had Roier being punished. Maybe it's because that's what he did as a scientist to new employees, or maybe it's because of his own guilt over everything he's done; remember, the reason he stopped smiling in Purgatory wasn't because he was killing his friends (because he's thought about killing his friends for a VERY long time), but it was because he killed Cellbit, and then it was because he left Cellbit behind to die. That's why the dream specified Cellbit's lost signal and not, say, Jaiden's, and it's why all the cool cinematic landscape shots focused on either Roier himself or Cellbit.
If my prediction is correct, Tape 2 would have Roger instead of Doied. So we'll see what happens then, I guess. Roger, who represents Roier's anger and his various homicidal tendencies.
Fit said that everybody was on the island for a reason, and Roier has been cooking for a long time now. Maybe qRoier is just like qJaiden: a former Federation associate.
TLDR; qRoier is currently hallucinating due to him being a Federation lab rat. His drug-induced dreams may be implying that Roier has a past within the Federation as a scientist completing the same experiments that "Doied" did in the dream to Roier.
But that's just a theory, a Game Theory. Thank you for reading.
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manicpixiefelix · 8 months ago
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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}
Part 20.
Summary: The evening of the Arts Collective dinner somehow gets even worse for you as Farleigh gives you some unfortunate news about Oliver and Venetia and their moonlight exploits. The worst part is having to figure out a way to break the news to Felix.
{ masterpost }
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
Warnings: angst, mentions of childhood/ongoing parental neglect.
A/N: 3729 words. I finally cracked it!! Figured out the ending!! Sorry for the delay I was busy writing 20k about Jacob Elordi being hot and mean which I will never publish (Euphoria, a show I STILL have not watched beyond like 20 minutes of clips on YouTube lol). Anyways I've missed you and these characters and hopefully 21 won't be too far away xx (also I started my new job so that's been exciting but also Ooft ouch my bones hurt)
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
----
For a day that was already pretty damn shit, Oliver's cruelty was like salt in the wound. Hand still on the doorknob after you close it, you listen to him retreating over the ringing in your ears. If you let go, you'll see your hands shake, so you're frozen, heart in your throat, the house growing quiet around you. It's familiar, but unwelcome in this moment.
Tears well in your eyes as you sit back at the desk, computer humming pleasantly, bathing you in a cool glow. Part of you was desperate to run after him, to oblige him, to reveal every inch of your past and soul to him, hoping he was true to his word. That he could actually care about you in a way that very few have ever bothered to. That he could love you the way Felix did.
I don't know you.
An even stronger part of you wanted to run right across the hall, to bury yourself beneath the covers of your bed, safe and waiting for Felix. Surely he'd be back soon, if Oliver's return indicated anything. You hadn't heard him return, but it wouldn't be long. But how were you meant to look at him, lie next to him, even touch him, after all of that. It had been easy to bite your tongue on your disappointment so far, knowing that like so many others, Oliver's love for you thus far had been merely as a proxy for Felix himself. You knew Felix was vaguely aware that that was how others sometimes viewed you, but you'd always been eager to assure him that as long as he genuinely cared about you, and the others were good to you, you'd be more than happy.
And that used to be true. But none of the others were Oliver. Felix knew you loved the boy just as genuinely as he was coming to, you could never tell him that your affections were not as genuinely returned.
Your pride held you hostage in this room on both accounts.
When you finally raise your head from your hands, scrubbing unspilled tears from your eyes, you try and focus yourself once more on rereading the email that had already put you in a foul mood before Oliver had made it worse. It had taken all afternoon to detach yourself from it's contents, especially knowing your mother was waltzing about the grounds, spoiling your sanctuary.
The details of an official nondisclosure agreement, sent from your parents' team of lawyers. The paperwork was to arrive in the next few days, but you were being warned ahead of time. Before Oliver had interrupted, you were finally getting to the point of finding it all funny, that they were that insistent on cutting social ties with you that they'd go to almost any lengths that remained discrete, and out of the general public's reach. Now it just... ached.
Felix's heavy footsteps echo through the long gallery outside your study door, but he heads straight into bed. You wonder if it's even worth it to head to bed that night, you can't see yourself getting much sleep.
Now mostly, tragically, sober after you'd spent the afternoon trying to get out of your mind to cope with the day, you wonder if a drink would help put you to sleep, put an end to this abysmal day you'd endured. Which is how Farleigh finds you in the Blue Room, frowning at the bottle of liquor you'd left in the broken piano.
"You're up late," you mused flatly, still trying to decide if it was worth it to drink until you pass out in your study, "how was the -"
"We need to talk," Farleigh's tone is even more irate than you'd expected. Neither he nor the Catton siblings were ever in a particularly bright mood after being forced into any kind of proximity with your mother, and you were always touched by their loyalty, but this was something else.
You lower the piano lid, leaving the liquor for the time being. Turning to look at Farleigh, it's almost shocking to see how dark the look in his eyes was.
"What... happened?" You asked slowly. Farleigh's gaze flicks to the door behind you, to the long gallery and to the entrance to both yours and Oliver's bedrooms. Prying eyes, listening ears, though you were almost certain you'd heard Oliver leave not too long ago. A muscle in Farleigh's jaw twitches, and you instead offer your study for some privacy.
"You're not going to like it," is the first thing Farleigh tells you once the study door is closed. He sounds furious. Turning off your computer monitor, you choose to sit yourself on the sofa by the window, looking at him expectantly.
"This day's been a fucking nightmare already, I'm sure I can handle it," you rolled your eyes. Farleigh, however, chooses to sit at your desk, sideways on the chair, rather than joining you.
"You told Oliver not to fuck around with Venetia, didn't you?" It's unsettling to see Farleigh so serious. Still, his words have something twisting in your gut, even as you tried to play it off.
"Of course I did."
"Then tell me why I saw them practically eating each other on the front fucking lawn."
It's like you can feel the moment your blood turns to ice in your veins.
"This isn't funny," your lip curls, but Farleigh's severity remains, "this is a sick fucking joke, Farleigh, and a shitty thing to try and pull today of all goddamn days," your voice is rising, but he lets your fury build, uninterrupted.
"It would be an awful joke," he agreed, "if I was joking." All of the hopelessness that had plagued you since Oliver had left began to crystalise, calcifying into rage as his words settled in, "I don't care about Oliver," Farleigh's gaze shifted for a moment, still tense and furious, but there was something very nearly apologetic in his next words, "but unfortunately for me and for you right now, I care about you and Felix."
"Felix." Oh God. This couldn't be happening again. You'd told Oliver; you'd warned him. The fucking nerve!
"Yeah," Farleigh mutters quietly, "and you're going to be the one to tell him." When you try and protest, you're met with a sharp glare, and a stern reminder of how this exact situation had been reversed only twelve months ago over Eddie, "I'm not doing that again," Farleigh warned, "you owe me."
"Fine," you spit, "fuck, I'll tell him," hands shaking, you light up a cigarette. Farleigh stands, but hovers by your desk for a moment.
"He really knows how to pick them," He muses flatly.
"Shocking taste in men," scowling our of the window, your agreement is nonetheless irate, "fucking unbelievable," you hissed under your breath, "and he thinks there's something wrong with me?"
"There is," Farleigh's words surprise you, stinging a little, all things considered, "you fell for that stupid, little boy too," he reminds with a particularly vicious look.
"So it's my fault I have to break Felix's heart?"
"I'm saying that you've given me a lot of attitude for not liking him, but Oliver wouldn't even be here without both of you."
"Get the fuck out of my study, Farleigh," you order, pointing at the door, cigarette in hand and fury in your eyes.
The anger bubbling in your gut is beginning to burn. A thousand things are racing through your mind; top of the list is wondering just how quickly you make sure he's never welcomed back at Oxford. All you'd need was your computer and an hour to ruin Oliver Quick's entire life; you'd done it before. But if you turned that monitor on, if you had to once again look at that fucking email from your family - not even your family, their lawyers! - you think you might throw up. Tomorrow, with a clear head, you'd make your move.
And you'd tell Felix. No need to wake him now, give him a few hours to still live in the fantasy where the boy he was falling in love with wasn't once again going after his sister. Fuck- Venetia.
The more you thought about it all the more frenzied your outrage became. She wasn't innocent in this either, she never was. Venetia Catton was more than adept at finding both yours and her brother's exact pressure points and pressing with vehemence. So desperate to be loved yet so unable to come across as anything but insatiable, she'd always taken what she could get. You were good, but clearly you weren't enough to distract her from new, shiny Oliver.
The taste of smoke sticks to your teeth, as does your sour contemplation on how little the people you tried to love respected you. Or Felix. Christ, how were you meant to tell Felix?
Except you can't even really begin to contemplate how you'll break the news when you hear footsteps across the gallery.
Felix doesn't even knock - not that he ever has - before he lets himself in. You thought you'd have more time; the anger still burns white-hot inside of you, but despair and guilt flickers at the edges. He looks about as rough as you feel, concern and ebbing irritation in his expression. Of course, he'd spent the evening in the presence of your mother; none of the others ever felt nearly as much ire in her presence as he did.
Without a word, he strides across the room, all but pouting, and throws himself onto the sofa beside you. Drawing his legs up onto the sofa, he makes himself as small as possible - quite a task considering his size compared to the small, squashy sofa - and leans against you, head on your shoulder.
"Hate that woman," he hisses under his breath. You know he means your mother, but your mind is on his deceitful sister. All you can think about is Venetia and Oliver, but you can't very well tell Felix now. You don't have the words to not make everything so much worse if you tried. Already you'd decided to tell him in the morning, but right now you had to keep him from figuring out what was bothering you. Or that you were bothered at all.
So you decide to take a leaf out of Felix's own book, keep him happy and distracted in the way you knew best.
"Bad night?" Your voice is low as you move your arm back, fingers carding through his hair. The way Felix hums is still dark, but he shifts closer to you. After another moment of quiet, he huffs an irate breath out through his nose and begins to pluck at the hem of your shorts.
"Can I maim your mum the next time I see her?"
"She's not worth going to jail over," you tell him, leg shifting into his touch. Felix's hand stops fussing with your shorts to grip your thigh.
"You are," he huffs resolutely, and even despite your own anger you smile.
"My knight in shining armour," you laugh softly, lips against his forehead, "but do you really want to be so far away?" Leaning back against him, your hand moves from his hair to graze your nails down his bare arm, hoping he takes the hint. Thankfully, he does. The warm grip on your thigh tightens, and when he turns to look at you, there's something hungry in his eyes, "she's not worth your time, Fi," it comes out almost as a snarl, a truth you believe even in the depths of your own, otherwise mostly unrelated anger, but you turn your tone teasing, smirking at him, "I just choose to think about how I was apparently on your mind all night."
"I'm always thinking about you," he almost sounds a little breathless as he says it, managing to sit up more properly without moving away. You let your gaze flick to his lips before going back to look him in the eyes. Tongue darting out to wet your lips, you tilt your head very slightly, beginning to smile.
"And what are you think about me now?"
You'd always quietly loved whenever Felix was feeling possessive, and now moreso than ever. It made distracting him easy and fun, and Felix himself, his hands as he pulled you over to straddle his lap, to hold you close, to cradle your face as he kissed you so furiously, it was almost enough to distract you too. In all honesty, it was the only good thing to have happened all day, though even this was coloured by guilt, knowing what you still had to tell him when you found the right words.
However suddenly, Felix pulls back wearing a frown. For a few moments you find yourself catching your breath, confused, arms still around his neck.
"Something's wrong," it's not a question.
"Nothing's wrong," you lie, and hope it's more convincing them his usually are, "nothing at all," you hum, and move back in to press kisses to his jaw, hoping it's enough of a distraction to trail those kisses down his neck.
"You're angry about something," damn it. Of course Felix knows you too well.
"Am I?" You want to keep the ruse up for as long as you can manage, "and what would that be?" You murmured before you're sucking a beautiful, bruising hickey against his neck.
"I don't -" but his breath catches, grip on you tightening. It almost works; he swears faintly under his breath, losing himself in the moment and leaning into you, but then he actually seems to shake himself out of it, "come off it," he sighs, and you sit up, trying your best to appear both confused, and still in the mood, "if I'm not allowed to do this, neither are you." He says pointedly. Even though you're fighting a losing battle, you still lean in, still try and distract him with your mouth on his.
"Do what?" You murmur, nose to nose as you peck him quickly, desperately trying to keep your tone light and teasing. But you can see it in his eyes before he even says it; he knows exactly what you're doing.
"Distracting me because you know how fucking hot I think you are."
"And if I was," you murmured, pressing yourself against him, "why would that be such a bad thing?"
"Because you're being evasive," Felix pushed you back, held you at arm's length as your expression began to drop, fury beginning to creep back in as you remembered what exactly it is you didn't want to tell him, "you're not evasive with me;" he insists, "everyone else, sure, but this - whatever this is - is.. it's- it feels weird. This isn't you!"
"What am I then, Felix?"
"Mine!" He answered far too quickly, frustration sling out of him, but appears to catch himself, correcting to, "my best mate, alright? You don't not tell me things."
"So if there is something I'm not telling you, can you not trust that I might have a reason?" Finally your anger bursts from you, furious in the evening light. Felix has gone quiet, shocked; it's been a long time since you'd yelled at him like this. He looks wounded, apologetic, something you're not used to. Climbing off of him, you stand, you have to give yourself some distance from him, "there's a lot I don't tell you, Fi," you sighed, expression pinching as you tried to force yourself to calm down.
"You can tell me anything," Felix's voice has softened, leaning forward on the sofa. It aches to look at him, to see him so beautiful and vulnerable in these moments, "you know that."
"I know," you agreed, "it's not that I can't tell you, it's that I don't want to," you pressed the heels of your palms to your eyes, groaning; you can't look him in the eyes, can't even look at him right now, "and I will, that's the thing; I'm going to tell you, you're right, I always do, I just -" in a moment of weakness, your voice comes out almost sounding pitiful, defeated and frustrated, "I thought I had more time."
"What's wrong?" Felix asks softly. When you laugh, there's no humour in it. The more the reality of your situation sinks in, the more the fight leaves you.
"It's going to make you angry, or upset, or probably both," you sound rather helpless when you say it, but it seems like you no longer have a choice in when you get to tell him.
"Is it your mum?"
"I wish it was my mum," you shook your head, finally moving your hands to shake them out as you stepped back, leaning back against your desk with defeat. With every moment that passes you can feel Felix's gaze upon you, burning into you. When you are upset, he will never relent until he finds the source; usually it would be a gift, make you feel wanted and special and like you actually mattered for once. But this knowledge feels like a curse.
"We could run away," it's a last resort, barely more than a mutter as you look at your hands.
"What?"
"Just us," you continue, fidgeting, unable to look at Felix and the concern you knew you'd see in his eyes, "I could get us a little apartment in some artsy, London suburb," it's not going to work, not going to distract him, to keep him from prying the information from you that you know will hurt him, but it's all you have left, "you know nan would help us out, she'd kill for me. We could do whatever we wanted, never have to work a day in our lives. We could be whoever we wanted, wouldn't have to live in a house where they'd rather we die of heat stroke than ruin the wood panelling with an air conditioner," all you can think about is how you fell for a boy who didn't love you the way you hoped he would, and turned out couldn't even really respect you, "never have to go back to Oxford."
"What happened?" Standing, Felix crosses the short distance to your desk. There's so much sweetness in his voice as he sits in the desk chair beside you, looking up at you with his damn perfect brown eyes.
"I can't let this happen again, Fi," you hadn't even realised you were close to tears until it becomes harder to speak, "I tried, I fucking tried, I told him -"
"Who?"
"Ollie," you sniffled, face growing hot as you couldn't stop your tears from beginning to fall, "I warned him not to go near Venetia- I just- I can't believe she'd do this again, that Ollie couldn't respect when I ask him this one thing -"
"Ollie and Venetia?" There's an unsettling, blank quality to Felix's voice. The look in his eyes is far away and ice cold.
"Apparently hooking up on the front lawn," you clarified, voice weak, trying to wipe the tears from your eyes, derision edging it's way back into your voice as some of the anger returns, "for God, and Farleigh to bare witness," you took in a deep, shaking breath, attempting to pull yourself together, "I tried, Fi -"
"Fucking unbelievable," Felix snarls furiously, getting to his feet, "both of them- fuck, was Farleigh sure? He wasn't making some sick joke?"
"Even Farleigh wouldn't fuck with us like that," you muttered darkly, before adding, quiet, sounding actually pained with frustration, "I've been nothing but good to them, Fi, I thought -"
"You are never touching my sister again," Felix cuts you off firmly, voice forcibly calm. Surprised both by his tone and his words, you look up; he's so much closer than you'd realised The look in your best friend's eyes almost overwhelms you; protective, possessive, "I'm not watching her treat you like that anymore," he braces himself against the desk either side of you, crowding you against it.
"Fi," your barely manage a whisper, heartbeat racing in your chest, "I..." for just a moment he looks almost pained, and he hangs his head, faint, humourless laugh escaping him.
"I have to watch you fuck around with people who would barely give you the time of day; you're so fucking good it kills me sometimes," he bites out; you can't tell him that you know they're just using you, that so many people simply entertain the idea of you as a way to stay in Felix's life. Even if he'd never admit it, Felix knows. There's very little in his life that he's ever felt the need to reflect on, and even less that he feels any particular guilt about. You used to think he was fine with this arrangement, that he knew you could find the fun in these one-sided dynamics, "they're fucking using you," he grits out, but you're surprised by the way his fury almost sounds like despair, "I watch them and they're fucking using you like you're not even a person, Y/N."
Felix looks up; the looks in his eyes is more serious than you think you've ever seen from him. Deliberately, firmly, he takes your face in his hands.
"You're not my shadow, you know that, right?"
For a very long moment, you think you feel your heartbeat stop in your chest. On the surface it's a completely ridiculous question, except...
Feeling your face grow hot, you know he can see you tearing up; Felix has always known you better than anyone, always known exactly what you seem to need to hear. Nodding weakly, caught, pinned by his intense gaze, his focus on you, your lip trembles. Already fraught with emotions from the day, and the evening that had just passed, you have no fucking idea what to say. Felix has never spoken this out loud, never let himself properly wrestle with the subtext that coloured so much of your dynamic; it flickers across his face, the surprise and guilt and realisation as it hits him what he'd just said.
You are so much more to him than anyone else will ever give you credit for.
You are not his shadow, but you are unequivocally his.
So you kiss him.
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my-cherie · 1 year ago
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𝗗𝗢𝗘𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗠𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪♡
pairing ꒱modern! step-dad! pantalone x male reader warnings ꒱ step relationships (though reader doesn't know it), cheating on pantalone's part, a few pet names (darling, sweetness, pet), grinding, dirty talk, praise. wc ꒱ 600+ thoughts ꒱ small genshin drabble bc pantalone doesn't get nearly as much appreciation as he deserves, this man is HOT, y'all. inspired by the abba song with the same name. NOT BETA READ.
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You hadn’t seen your mom in a long time. Ever since you moved away for college she barely contacted you, so to say you were baffled when her wedding invite came in would be the century’s understatement. Putting on your best suit, you messed with your hair a little more and tried your best to straighten your tie, before giving up and just deciding to go like this. Not like you were trying to impress anyone.
While you were on the way to the ceremony, you checked the invite again. This was maybe your mom’s third husband ever since your dad left? You weren’t sure, but maybe this “Pantalone” (as you came to know his name from the invite) would be nicer than your other step-fathers.
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… The place was fancy. You almost wish you hadn’t come, because the venue in itself already seemed straight out of an expensive magazine, with the full-on white decorations, roses and tulips and baby’s breath everywhere and a ton of seats in the middle of a cute, meadow-like wedding venue and now you were sure that this Pantalone guy was at least filthy rich, because your family sure as hell didn’t have the money for this place, even with the money your mom managed to get from her past failed relationships.
You stumble amidst all the guests, making small talk with some cousins, aunts and uncles, before finally settling into the back of the garden, nursing a glass of white wine that you were sure cost more than your apartment. Trying to look for anyone else you knew besides the few relatives you had talked to, you were disappointed to see only strangers. 
Fuck, was your mom gonna take too long to come out? 
“Hello,” you startled, who— “do you mind if I wait here as well?
Oh, that’s a very pretty man.
He’s wearing probably the most expensive suit you’ve ever seen, with a beautiful blue tie, silver glasses and— Is that a fucking Armani suit?
“Sure dude, uh,” you shift under his attention, distractedly biting the inside of your mouth, scrambling for a common topic you could talk to this stranger about, “do you know the groom?”
“Yeah, you could say that.” He chuckles in amusement and you realize suddenly that he seemed a bit... bored. He was just observing everyone and not moving to greet any of the people in the venue, even though you can see that quite a few people seemed to wave and smile at him.
The unknown man seemed to not want to socialize with anyone else, besides you, that is.
You mess with your tie again, trying to distract yourself from the beautiful, beautiful man besides you. Your tie just never seems to sit correctly on your suits, no matter how many times you've watched those tutorials on Youtube about how to do the perfect tie.
“Do you need some help there?” The man — fuck you forgot to ask his name — asks, clearly seeing you struggle.
“Please, if you could.” You smile at him, embarrassed.
He comes closer, slowly redoing your tie for you, and you stare at his face meanwhile. 
Without meaning to, your eyes are attracted to his lips and you bite your own again, thinking about how they look very much kissable. When you look up, he’s already looking directly at you, a smirk playing at his lips and his eyes muddled with arousal.
So you weren’t the only one to feel the pull of attraction between you two then, good. You weren’t even enjoying the wedding anyway.
(The man kisses hard, you dimly register, your body hidden away from view by the way he’s holding you, kissing you breathless.
His knees are slowly grinding your dick and fuck if it doesn’t feel good, making you moan each time he does it, holding his hair tighter.
“Do you like it like that, darling? Does it feel good?” He talks dirty like he’s made for it and when you don’t answer, he pulls away the tiniest bit. “Answer me.” 
And you have to gasp for breath, he has already made you into such a mess in a few seconds, it’s humiliating, but not enough for you to not beg him.
“Yes! Yes, it feels amazing! Please, please—“ You don’t know his name, god damn it all. He seems to notice your predicament, because he snickers a bit.
“The name’s Pantalone, sweetness.”
You give him your name as well, completely forgetting that your mom’s soon-to-be-husband has the same name as the stranger ravaging you. Even though it’s a very clearly unique name, your brain has been completely taken by his ministrations, hazy and distracted.
“Cute,” he says, before going back to kissing you to oblivion and starting to grind against your cock with his own, clearly hard and wanting to continue just as much. 
“I’m going to enjoy ruining you, pet.”)
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iammeiamwe · 4 months ago
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At first I wanted to colour it using a more dull/cold colour pallette, but then I remembered how much I love the vibrant and colourful sunrise/sunset kind of lighting scenario so I just went for it. Killer's presence is still making it creepy enough anyway😅 (click for better quality)
This is actually a small gift for @signanothername , because, well, they are kind of one of the reasons I even started the blog:)
For the ones who want to read me rambling about them (and probably my whole life story as well because I literally couldn't stop writing haha), go ahead:
I mean I used to be more of a reserved and even shy kind of person, I didn't use social media too often (if YouTube and a couple other apps can even count). And even when I used it I mostly only watched and I didn't interact with people/content creators much. (I didn't even comment on YouTube like at all).
I've actually been drawing digitally (both my characters and fanart for different fandoms) since 2018 and I've never posted my art online anywhere, only showed it to my friends. And I thought I would actually never do it.
But then I randomly stumbled upon tumblr a couple weeks ago, and then I stumbled upon signanothername. I was like so heartwarmed and amazed and blown away by how they interact with their followers and community - like seriously I just couldn't stop reading their answers to all the asks they got they were all so cool and cute and I probably was glued to the blog for nearly 2 hours after I first saw it. This blog (and a couple of others) actually made me realise what a nice and welcoming community and people you all have here on tumblr (and how many cool features tumblr has for communication both between creators and their followers) and I immediately went: "I want to be a part of it!"
And yeah, they've also (almost) singlehandedly brought me back into the utmv fandom. I've actually been out of it for a while, and even when I was a part of it I didn't actually really contribute anything to it, I was kinda scared to draw something new I had never drawn before (skeletons) and I also didn't really see the point in it since none of my friends were interested in the fandom so no one would actually see my art.
But something about their beautiful art made me think: "Yeah, I can make and post cool stuff too!"
And don't get me wrong, there are also other people and blogs that have motivated me. I'm actually planning on making small gifts for them too, just a bit later. It just so happened that signanothername goes first.
So. Get my first ever drawing of Killer, of my three first ever drawings for utmv, on my first blog on tumblr, which is actually my first ever social media account where I actually create and post stuff.
Yeah. And take a small heart🩷
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jd-loves-fiction · 6 months ago
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𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐢𝐞
Person B has to get dressed up for a nice event. B is struggling with their tie/dress/suit and can’t get it right. Person A is surprisingly good at fixing it and Person B asks them how they did it.
✦ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Joshua Madika x GN!Reader
✦ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff + suggestive
✦ 𝐰𝐜: 819
✦ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: none
✦ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Just a short something cuz he just looks too good :)
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“God! Come on…” Joshua mutters to himself, fiddling with his troublesome tie as you walk in to put away some laundry. You set it aside and lean against the doorway for a moment, just to watch his handsome face scrunch up in mild frustration as the silky fabric slips from his grasp once more, “Are you going to help me? Or is this sight too amusing?”
“Hmm… nearly.” You tease, approaching him slowly to stand between him and the mirror and taking the tie from his slippery hands. Your own hands work quickly, almost automatically – all while Joshua ogles your ass in the mirror.
Lost in the wonderful sight, he’s caught off guard by you stepping back, “You’re done?” you nod, fiddling with his lapel and shirt collar. God, he looks damn good.
“How– That was so fast.” His long lashes blink in shock, he should’ve asked you to help him before now. “When did you learn to do it so fast? You don't even wear ties?”
“Oh, well…” You trail off, suddenly put on the spot and going back to fix minute details in his appearance to distract yourself – the curl fallen to his forehead, a speck of dust on his jacket, a small wrinkle on his shirt.
“This story’s a bit… unusual, so bear with me.” Josh nods in understanding, now entirely focused on watching your features that begin feeling warmer at the attention.
“So, remember I said I took psychology in high school?” A nod, “On one, seemingly random, class the teacher told us – without context – to learn how to tie a tie. And that he’d be grading us based on how well we did in the next class. Me, boasting the absolutely stellar combo of ‘perfectionist’ and ‘people pleaser', went to ask my father to teach me. Turns out, he's never worn a tie in his life and my mother was even less helpful.”
Skepticism would be a gentle way of describing the expression on your boyfriend’s face, so you raise your hand as if to wordlessly tell him to wait until you’re done before judging, “Why… would he ask you to do that?”
“I haven't the faintest, Josh. It was the guy’s last year as a teacher – I feel like he didn't care about making sense anymore. Anyway–” He pulls you with him while sitting down on the edge of the bed, giving your tired neck a rest from having to look up at him as you speak.
“Long story short, Youtube tutorials were surprisingly effective – I got full marks on the next class, even though I feel like that didn't end up mattering at all. I guess the knowledge just stuck from then.” You add sheepishly, adjusting (playing with) Joshua’s gorgeous curls as he takes you in silently. So focused on getting the details right, you barely noticed the unwavering attention he leveled you with during your little speech, cowering now that you do, “What’s that look for?”
His hand reaches for your cheek, brushing it with a tenderness that warms the skin beneath, “You’re just… everything.”
“Are you just saying that because you don't know what to say to that story or what?” You giggle, playfully gripping a handful of curls to direct his gorgeous nose to brush yours, both going cross eyed in the process.
“No, I mean it.” He whispers softly, long lashes fluttering against his cheeks as his lips graze yours, “You’re everything…” to me, he wants to say but the urge to lay his lips against yours is far too strong. The kiss is slow and sensual, almost enough to distract you from the fact that his hands begin wandering down your body, “Don't you have somewhere to be?”
“It can wait.”
“Hmm, not what you said this morning…” You whisper, matching his suggestive tone and doing nothing to discourage his actions – you don't want him to go, of course you don't, but you clearly recall him stressing over how important this dinner is just a few hours prior.
“Well, that was this morning. Before I discovered there were productive things for me to be doing.” His lips descend on your neck, sucking on it gently as your breaths hasten together.
“Me, you mean?” You tease and he hums approvingly, nimble fingers pulling back the band of your leggings to let it slap against your skin. Focusing becomes harder every second he keeps touching you, but a glimpse at the clock on the wall tells you it’s time to end the fun.
“I think I can wait… The dinner, however, can't.” With great effort, you tear yourself from his warm embrace, delighting in his childish whine while stepping back out of the reach of his long limbs. “Get to it.”
He groans deeply as you step out to give him space to prepare, secretly hoping he doesn't come back too tired to pick up where you left off…
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weirdkpopgirl · 7 months ago
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Adoration | Mark Imagine #7
Title: Adoration
Genre: Tooth-rotting fluff
Warnings: none really :)
Word Count: 612
Author's Note: Lol this idea came to me after seeing a clip of Mark on a video call fansign, where he was telling the fan that he's currently watching Queen of Tears. This made me so happy because I've also been watching the drama and feel so passionately about it. Anyway my mind started to wander and this little scenario came out of it. I tried my best not to include spoilers of the show in the story though. Thank you for reading and hope you like it ^ ^
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Frustration brewed in your eyes, as heat rose to your cheeks, while your heart was pounding. Your fingers curled further into your palms, as unkind words traveled to the tip of your tongue. Yet, before they could be vocalized, the dark-haired man on your left said them instead.
“No, but why did he do that though?!” Mark yelled, throwing his arm out in a gesture to the screen.
A part of you wanted to laugh at your boyfriend’s reaction to the final scene playing out on the television before you. Since the premiere of Queen of Tears, you and Mark have been avidly following the series together. However, you were a few episodes behind due to Mark’s busy schedule and your commitment to watching it together. It took considerable restraint to avoid looking at spoilers on Instagram or YouTube.
On the other hand, the equal measure of anger within you overpowered any sense of amusement. A louder-than-intended sigh slipped past your lips.
“Ugh, I hate Yoon Eunsung so much for trying to ruin Haein’s family,” you fumed, gripping the remote. “I swear, I just knew he was going to use that tactic to sabotage them too!”
Mark leaned back on the couch, echoing your dissatisfaction. “I know right? You were so on point though with predicting that it was gonna happen.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I’m happy that I was right!” you exclaimed, sounding as if you were almost about to cry from annoyance. 
Any hint of exasperation Mark was feeling simmered down, as you continued to vent about the episode. Now that he observed you passionately recounting every prediction you made about the characters’ actions that had had occurred in the episode. Your hair was slightly tousled, and your hands gestured animatedly, emphasizing your frustrations. This was a rare sight from someone who was usually so composed and reserved.
Your shoulders slumped when you caught the distraction in his eyes, prompting a look of confusion from you. “Mark, are you even listening to what I’m saying?”
“No, I am babe,” he reassured with a chuckle. “I’ve just never seen you this fired up before.”
Your expression softened, and the flush on your cheeks transitioned to one of embarrassment. His comment brought to mind your tendency to get overly passionate about certain things that provoked you.
“Sorry, I just got so worked up,” you mumbled, sheepishly brushing a loose lock of hair out of your face.
However, Mark was quick to pull you into his arms. “Don’t apologize, I think it’s endearing.”
His embrace was so warm and loving, it felt like he was wrapping you in all the adoration he had for you. Yet, it made you just want to hide your face in his hoodie because you were still flustered.
“Well I’m grateful you’re more reassuring than Baek Hyunwoo is,” you said, resting your chin on his shoulder. “Seriously, I’ve never seen so much miscommunication in a relationship before.”
You felt your boyfriend smile, pulling back slightly to stroke your hair. “And I’m glad you’re not as closed off like Hong Haein.”
“Hey, she has every right to be—” you started to protest, before catching yourself.
Mark nearly convulsed with laughter as he crashed you into another hug. “Ah, cute!”
Feeling embarrassed once more, you lightly smacked his shoulder, though it did nothing to stop the boy from gushing over you. But you couldn’t help but smile too, finding warmth in the moment. Both of you knew that the upcoming episodes of this drama would only bring more stress. However, at least you could share your frustrations openly, while all Mark could think about was how infatuated he was with you.
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lunalockley · 2 years ago
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The Limo Driver (part two)
Jake Lockley x Fem!Reader
Warnings: SMUT. Like, a lot. Can Jake on his knees count as a warning?
Summary: It's night, it's raining and reader just wants to sleep, until she doesn't anymore.
Words: 7700+
Notes: Sooooo, I'm sorry, it took me a little longer than planned but here it is, I really hope you like it. And thank you all so much for your comments, always brighten my day.
Specially dedicated to my dearest moon emoji anon who made me feel really good about this one <3
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So… you’ve been thinking about it. Well, you can’t stop. Of course you can’t. He kissed you once and you spent six months half in lov—Ok, no. Wait, what? No. Half hooked up on him you mean. Three-quarters stupid. Completely insane. But not half in that. No.
Uh, whatever. It’s only been a day, a couple of hours. It’s way too recent. So it’s normal for your mind to keep on spinning the matter. And the eyes, and the voice, and the fingers. It’s driving you crazy, to be honest. The feel of them on your throat, on your hips, on your mouth… inside of you. You barely slept last night, your mind keeps taking you back through every fucking second of it without even trying. And then you can almost hear his voice calling you preciosa in that way he does and everything starts to heat up. That good, nice heat that’s so easy to get lost on.
But there’s also the bad one. The focalized heat that sets upon your chest like a weight is pressing down on you, making breathing a little bit harder. That’s the one you felt when you walked out last night. And you’ve been feeling it every time you think about what you said, and what he didn’t. That’s the part you’re trying to avoid. Yet it comes to mind anyways. It’s pretty fucking unfair.
And it’s pretty fucking ridiculous too because how come that after all that has happened, all the time you two have shared, all the things he has done you still can’t… figure him out? It doesn’t make any sense. How does someone that’s so incredibly hermetic make you feel you can read him just by looking him in the eyes when you actually don’t know anything about him at all? Does he do it on purpose? Is it a calculated move or is he somehow unable to—
—And you’re doing it again. Thinking about it non-stop. You called in sick needing a night away from the restaurant, from Jake’s stupid chair and that stupid bathroom that has been giving you palpitations just by the thought of going in and this is how you spend it. You had planned to cook a nice dinner, watch a movie, water your barely-alive plants, do a beginner's yoga class on Youtube, and maybe even finish reading that book that has been dusting on your nightstand. But no, here you are. Already in pajamas, all you’ve done (besides eating yesterday’s leftovers) is sit on the couch contemplating how time passes with the rain and Viejita’s soft meowing in the background. Is procrastination the root of all your problems? Maybe it is.
Or maybe it’s just time to get up and do what you do best: sleep. Give your body the rest your mind refuses to get. You impulse yourself out of the couch to go and take Viejita with you. Cuddling with her makes it all better. No more stupid Jake thinking. You let your ear guide you, she’s right next to the window. She had never complained about the rain before and as she feels you getting closer she even starts scratching the glass.
“Hey, baby, It’s just a little rain,” you mutter, petting her and trying to calm her down until you rest your eyes on what she is staring at down the street.
What the f—He can’t just—There’s no fucking way.
You’re not sure. You just live on the third floor but it’s dark outside. The street light barely lights anything at all. And the rain makes it even harder to see. Yet the outline of the limousine is clearly visible, and so is the figure leaning against it. But it can’t be. You’ve always thought Jake is unusual in every little thing he does but this? He wouldn’t be crazy enough to be waiting under the rain without a fucking umbrella and without even ringing the bell to your apartment, just expecting somehow you knew he would be there, right? That would be insane. It must be a weird coincidence. Some other limo driver who's waiting for someone else here… in this neighborhood? Weird, yet not impossible.
But then he looks up straight at your window and your heart jumps inside your chest as you instinctively hurry back into the shadows, where he can’t see you.
Fuck, it is him.
What the fuck? He knows your apartment is on the third floor, you’ve told him. You’ve told him the number. You’ve told him everything, for fuck’s sake. It's not like you want him to come up to your house knocking on the door in the middle of the night but what is he doing? At this point, you’re sure he purposefully finds the way to do the least expected, most incomprehensible thing in every fucking little thing he does. It must be his life’s motto: “No matter what, always find a way to stress the shit out of the people in my life”.
He’s an idiot, there’s no doubt of it. The thing is: are you an idiot? Well, yeah. You just saw him outside your place and your heart is already a beat away from a fucking heart attack. But you should try not to be an idiot anymore. You shouldn't go down. Make it clear you said it’s over for good. He definitely saw you, he would get it, and then… and then he would leave. Forever. Yeah, that’s what you should do.
But… goodbyes are a good thing too, right? 
Closure and all that stuff. Talk things out, even if it sounds unlikely with someone like Jake. You can give it a chance. A… friendly goodbye. Ok, yeah. Sounds good. And it is the right thing in this type of situation, grown-up shit. A goodbye, that’s all.
You take one last look at the street just in case you’ve lost your mind and you’ve imagined the whole thing, but he’s still right there. Arms crossed, leaning against the limo and probably soaking fuking wet.
“Your dad’s an idiot, Viejita,” you say to the little black beast before taking her in your arms to leave her on her favorite cushion on the sofa. She settles down, pleased and exhausted as if she's accomplished a hard job.
You grab your keys next to the mirror at the entrance. 
Just a goodbye.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
The bone-chilling air hits you as soon as you step out of the building but seeing him is what makes you stop dead in your tracks for a second. You couldn’t see it up from your floor but he’s wearing his usual type of clothes, not the casual ones that somehow felt so out of place on him yesterday. Now the familiarity of the white shirt, the jacket, and the hat gives you a naive sense of comfort you try to dismiss away. As if this one were more of your Jake than it was yesterday. Stupid, he’s not more of anything and it’s just clothes.
A white shirt, a jacket, and a hat that are drenched, by the way. Which reminds you—
“What the fuck are you doing in the rain? Are you insane?”
Instead of answering he just looks at you and opens the limo’s door. Silently asking you to get in.
Ok, well…. you didn't think this through. You only thought about coming down, not actually getting into his car. But, you guess… there’s no other option. You came here to say your friendly goodbye, after all. Can’t do it in the rain, just like that. And a veil of water drops is already setting in your clothes, you can feel some of the fabric clanging into your body. Another thing you didn’t think through is the worn-out sweatpants you came out with, the old shirt that has somehow become a pajama shirt, and your lack of a bra underneath.
Fuck it.
When you slide into the car you notice how spacious the limousine is yet it surprises you how it does not seem to be room for many people. There are only two rows of red leather seats facing each other. So much space for so few passengers. In order to be more private and luxurious, you guess. It makes you think about the people he drives for. Might he be just as serious and inaccessible as you’ve seen him be with basically everyone else? Or might he show his weird uncharismatic charisma as he has done with you? The latter doesn’t sound so good, for some reason.
You stop nosing around when you feel him sitting next to you a little bit closer than the spacious seat needs. You were right. He's drenched and most likely ruining the luxurious leather of the luxurious car, but he doesn't seem to care as he turns his whole body and attention towards you.
“Is it every day or once every six months with you? No in-betweens?” You blurt out, cornered by the closeness of his body.
Fuck, friendly goodbye. Friendly.
“Sorry. I take that back,” you mumble, thinking your next words before you pronounce them this time. “Why didn’t you ring the bell to my apartment?”
“It’s late. I saw the lights on but thought you might have fallen asleep. Didn’t want to disturb you. You work too much, preciosa,” he answers calmly, his voice softer than you ever heard before. Not in a submissive way but in a disarmingly appeasing tone as if he had come here disarmed, without any shields. Exactly the opposite of how you feel right now. You move back in the seat trying to get as far as you can get in the restricted space. Soft raspy melting voices shouldn’t cause claustrophobia.
“And if I had been sleeping what would you have done? Wait till I wake up tomorrow?” You throw it out half as a joke, but immediately you realize—
He doesn’t even have to answer to know that’s the truth. He had come here to see you and wouldn’t have left until he did.
“Do you always get what you want? Is that how things work for you?”
“If things worked out for me this wouldn’t be the first time I see you outside work,” he says replies, lifting his hat and running a hand through his hair. And to your disbelief, he puts it back with a sigh like he didn't even realize the damn thing is soaking fucking wet just like the rest of his clothes are. He should take it all off before he catches a cold. Ha, go on. Keep thinking of him without his clothes on. Good idea. “Speaking of which, you know what am I thinking?”
“Are you kidding me?” You snort, turning towards him, as shocked by your train of thought as by the audacity of his question. “I never know what you’re thinking,” you whisper, taken aback by the fact that he still doesn’t understand how little you understand him. At all. That’s the whole point here.
“That’s weird, I’ve always felt you can see right through me,” he mutters, frowning at you as if you had any fault in that absurd idea. Stupid Jake. His voice sounds sincere but you chose not to even give it a second thought, can’t allow yourself that right now. Not with the purpose you came here for.
So you cross your arms and frown back at him, refusing to answer anything at all. But he mirrors you, crossing his arms and resting his back against the seat.
God, this is so stupid. You’re so mad at him but can’t help smiling when the stare competition last a little too long. It’s infuriating. And so ridiculous. You came here to say goodbye, why are you smiling? 
“What are you thinking?” You ask, defeated.
A crooked smile forms on his lips in victory, but he quickly brushes away with his thumb.
“I’m thinking you look pretty fucking good here like this,” he says taking a look at your body, his eyes somehow soft and dark on equal parts. You try to ignore the effect his tone produces under your skin.
“In pajamas on your limousine?”
“Yeah, it’s a sight,” he breathes lowly, uncrossing his arms and getting a little bit closer. You can’t take it.
“Stop—don't do that, please.”
He waits for you to continue.
“That thing you do,” you explain reluctantly. “You make it sound like you’re joking but it feels like you are telling the truth. It’s confusing. Tell me what you are really thinking for once.”
“I’m telling you in every way I know.”
The words are out of his mouth like a caress and the way he’s—No, no, no. Focus. He’s flirting his way out. Get to the point. 
“So? Did you come here to say goodbye?”
“Why would I say goodbye?” He retorts like you had asked him the most bizarre question possible.
“Because we are not seeing each other again, I told you it’s over.”
“Oh, it’s over? So what are you doing here?”
“Would you have left if I didn’t come down? I’m saving you from pneumonia. You’re welcome.”
He shakes his head, a reproachful gleam in his eyes but then he exhales and lets it go. He looks out the window for a moment and then back at you. Outside, the rain pounds harder.
“I came to say that I’m… I’m sorry”
“Oh, that’s a first. What for?”
You cross your legs and he follows the movement. Then he shifts in his seat once more, trying to find comfort.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t—That I left without saying anything—I… I just disappeared. I’m sorry. I understand why you’re angry. If it had been you I would’ve—I’m sorry.”
He’s struggling so much one would think this is the first time he apologizes for something in his life. It cracks your walls a little bit, but still—
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I just had to go and then I couldn’t come back.”
“How so?”
“I… I’m not able to control my time as I used to, just when is necessary.”
Oh. You weren’t important enough to come and let you know he was going to disappear for six fucking months.
“Yeah I get that, you didn’t need to be here,” you grunt moving to get out of the car but he moves from his seat, catching your hand before you even get to touch the handle. 
“Let me go, you asshole!”
You try to push him back but in half a second he’s resting his knees on the floor as his hands take yours on a soft grip at each side of your hips. He’s caging you between his body and the seat. And even when your body keeps attempting to get out of the car, the intense heat that radiates out of his body makes you wonder how his wet clothes aren’t fucking steaming.
“Wait, wait—hey, wait, stop,” he says soothingly, his voice not a bit altered by the force with which you are trying to push him. His left-hand find that soft spot on the side of your neck, drawing your attention to his dark eyes. You lose a little bit of your strength. “Listen to me. You’re angry, I know. Take it out on me. You’ll feel better.”
What?
Your heartbeat buzzes in your ears and you feel a little lightheaded. This is the first time he’s looking up to you instead of the other way around. Maybe that's what causes that slight desperate effect in his deep brown eyes, the look that the last speaker of an extinguished language would have. Condemned to never truly communicate with anyone else. And the way he looks kneeled in front of you, surrounded, as if he would let you do anything to him right now. Take it out on me, he said. Is he expecting you to hit him or something?
“That’s not how things work, Jake. I’m not gonna turn you into my… human stress relief ball. You just told me you don’t need this. And I wanna make that call too. So, that’s it. You’re an idiot but we’re good. Now move and let me go. It’s ok, it’s over just like I–”
“No, it’s not. Stop that,” he says all frown and serious, and then a little softer.  “And that’s not what I meant. But let me apologize. I wanna make you feel good, baby. Then the rest. Let me have you happy and relaxed first.” 
“What?—That’s n-not—We should talk”
“Oh, so you came here to talk not to say goodbye?”
“Are you serious?”
“Sorry,” he says in an innocent tone like he regrets it but he's actually smiling, the widest smile you've ever seen on him yet. A happy smile. The desperate glimmer turned into triumph. He knows you just gave in, he knows he’s won this one. God, you hate him. Stupid Jake.
“Don’t—” take off my slipper, you try to say. But he’s already taking the other one. You really didn’t think about your outfit at all before walking out of your apartment tonight. Whatever. Focus. “What did you mean then, explain it to me. You gotta give me something here because I don’t want to do this anymore, Jake. Not like this.”
He holds your eyes for a moment and then he leans forward, resting his forehead against your knee. One hand slowly making his way up over your calve, the other rolling up the fabric to expose the skin. It takes him a minute to speak again.
“I… I don’t have control over—I don’t really have a—I just do what needs to be done. That’s the purpose of me. That’s all I do. I prevent things from happening and if they happen I resolve them. I… survive, I guess. And this is how it’s been for as long as I can remember. It’s ok—it was, it was ok. It was until one night instead of going to a shitty bar like I always do I decide for some fucking reason to go into that damn 24/7 breakfast and you happened. I didn’t like it, at first, because I knew right there that it wasn’t going to be enough. I already wanted more. I tried to stop it but I kept going and going. You were always there. Lighting things up. Of course, I kept wanting more. It’s never enough”.
While he was speaking his fingertips were gently caressing your calf, his cheek word by word tracing the side of your leg, seeking the reassurance feeling of skin against skin but as soon as the last sentence is pronounced his mouth starts giving open mouth kisses to every inch of uncovered skin it finds on its way and you’re scared your heart may stop working it all. It’s the feel of his tongue in that sensitive spot in the back of your knee, his left hand slowly exploring the length of your thigh but mostly his words and that impenetrable wall finally beginning to break down.
You weren’t expecting this. You thought he was going to come up with a half-true half-joke excuse that you were going to resist not believing in. And then get the courage to walk away just like you had planned. But this is different. You know this is different. You know he meant it. You know for the way he was so evidently struggling to find the right words, the hoarseness on every one of them as if his body were still trying to keep them locked deep inside. This is him. This is what you’ve been asking for. But still—
“The thing is you’re changing things for me, preciosa. I know I’m not made for this. I’m fucked up, I am. I’m not good. And on top of that, there’s not much I can offer you. I’ve nothing. And I can’t even take care of a damn cat without having it all fall over. I’m not even close to being good enough for you. You deserve better, you do—but I’m still here… if you want me. And even if you don’t, I would still be here, waiting.”
It’s raining properly now, hammering on the roof of the limousine. The furious rhythm of hundreds of drops almost synchronized with the rapid beat of your heart. His thumb hooked over the waistband of your pants, slowly pulling until your hip is exposed. Your breath caught in your throat.
“You deserve better but I’m selfish now. If anything is your fault, you turned me into this. I want you for my own,” he mutters, leaning in to kiss the skin of your lower stomach. You can’t help but gasp at the contact, he’s barely touched you and you already can feel the wetness dripping out of you. “Will you let me have you?”
He’s looking you straight into your eyes now, he hadn’t done it since he started speaking, and you can see how much he just gave you. You’ve learned to know him, somehow. Not in the way one learns to read deciphering signs on a page but in the way our eyes become accustomed to darkness after some time. Groping and stumbling you’ve learned some parts of him, his outline. That’s how you know he’s asking for way more than he’s letting on. You have the feeling that saying yes to him involves a lot more than saying yes to somebody else. The feeling that whatever it is he’s asking from you might consume you and leave you heartbroken afterward. But that’s not the hold-up.
The thing is, you want more, you want to see him in full light. You want him for your own too. But you need to understand him. Fully. You won't give yourself up without having him first. 
“You want me to beg? I’ll beg if you want me to, but then I’ll be the one taking it out on you later,” he threats when you don’t answer for a while, all teasing voice and mischief glimmer, he’s back to the playful Jake you know so well. A little too long of silence and his defenses go up again.
You don’t think he’ll keep spilling truths voluntarily but now that you’ve heard some of them you want more. You’ve become addicted. You need more. But how?
And how are you supposed to think while he keeps playing with the waistband of your pants? Fuck, unless—He just acted on your terms, revealing himself just like you’ve asked him to. Now is your turn. You probably will get immediately caught up on it, but you can try.
You need to play it his way then. 
He sees the change on your face and a spellbound gleam forms in his eyes.
“Show me how it would feel,” you whisper and you don’t need to say it twice.
As soon as the words are out of your mouth the sweatpants are out of your legs. Once he has you only in your t-shirt and your panties he leans back a little bit observing you from head to toe, lingering his eyes on yours, on the contour of your hardened nipples and the wet patch of your panties, as if he wanted to burn the image in his memory, the pervert. Well, you can’t judge, you are the same. Admiring how the white wet shirt clings to his torso, wrapping him like hard candy. You may as well lick him—fuck, focus. Focus.
When he starts to slowly take off your panties you manage to find your voice again.
“I can’t believe I’m letting you undress me on the street.”
“You’re letting me undress you in my car, it’s hot. And its got tinted glasses, and it’s dark outside and you’re with me, bonita,” he answers absently, focused on the delicate movement of the silky material as it slides down your legs. You can't mock him at the implication that you're safe with him though, you know it's true. You’ve felt it from the first day.
Once your panties reach your ankles he carefully removes them to put them in the pocket of his pants. Again, pervert. You ignore the need to clench your thighs together at the gesture and decide to tease him about it. He deserves it. And it’s what has worked the best so far. Pushing his buttons it’s what had you moaning in the fucking bathroom of your workplace anyways.
“To remember me?” You ask as innocently as you can.
But he’s done with it. He pins you with his gaze, raising a thick eyebrow at you.
“Why would I need reminding, exactly?”
“Because this is the last time.”
“What did I just say? Stop that. Don’t make me say it again. You know it’s not enough, preciosa. You know it.” His lips back to your legs, his voice still annoyed but so soft you don’t think you hear right: “Will never be.”
For the sake of your own heart, you rather believe you misheard.
He opens your legs a little bit further and then—
“Fuck, baby.” He sounds so wrecked, you feel weak. You were supposed to do something, what was it? “Voy a despertar soñándote por el resto de mi puta vida.”
“That’s not fair, you know I don’t understand. And tell me… tell me more about yourself first, please.”
“There’s not much to tell. And I’d like to do something else with my tongue right now.”
“What’s your favorite movie?”
“I mean, if I could record this right n—”
“Jake.”
“Whichever you’d like to watch with me, bonita.”
“You drive for a living?”
“That’s how I earn some money, yeah. Stop torturing me.”
“But you’re not just a driver, are you?”
“No, I’m not.”
“And is that…dangerous?”
“Not to you. I promise”
“Are you in danger?”
“I’m in danger of dying as a thirsty man here.”
“What’s your last name?”
“Lockley. Come on, baby, don't make me go crazier than I already am.”
“Lockley… Jake Lockley.” That catches his attention back to your mouth for a second. “What’s your favorite hobby?”
“This,” he says sliding you effortlessly to the edge of the seat. You feel his breath near your core and you know you’re losing it. Shit, why were you doing this? Why are you delaying it when you want it so badly? Oh, right, you—
“Jake, wait,” you breathe. “I need more. I need to understand.”
“Then pay attention, preciosa.”
His mouth finds your inner thigh and he’s so close. So close. You won’t hold back anymore. You can’t. Your hand finds his shoulder just to hold onto something but fuck. He’s still in his wet clothes. He can’t stay like this. You gather the little willpower you have left to push him back. You expect some sort of resistance but he moves back with no effort on your part. Take it out on me, is this what he meant?
The way he raises his gaze is enough to set your blood on fire. He looks at you as if he’s about to say fuck it all and push you back to have his way with you mixed with genuine curiosity about what are you going to do next. Submission hanging by a thread.
“Take off your jacket.”
He holds your gaze for a moment and then he does it. Fuck, the power trip you're feeling right now. It feels pretty fucking good having him listening to you like that. More.
“Now your shirt.”
He sighs and begins to unbutton it, somehow amused by how much you're pushing it. Did he just unblock a new kink for you?
Once the shirt is discarded somewhere on the floor of the limo you lean forward to take off his hat. Is soaking wet just like his hair is underneath. And of course, you can’t resist. You take a moment to run a hand through his curls all the way down to his nape until your hand is resting on his shoulder again. He looks so fucking hot like this. You bite the urge to confess it, instead, you lean back and open your legs a little further, an invitation.
“You can go on, now.”
The little smile he’s trying to bite back makes your stomach flutter. You decide to tease him a little bit more.
“I mean, if you don’t want to…” you concede, beginning to close your legs but you barely get to move an inch before he dives right in and—
Fucking heaven.
You loudly gasp at the feeling of the wet heat of his mouth dragging over the folds of your pussy, his groan sending shivers from your core through your whole body. Fuck, it’s too good. It’s too good. When his tongue swirls around your clit your brain short-circuits having at the same the time the urge to push him away and push him impossibly closer. As your hand finds his curls you realize your body has chosen the latter. The movement pleases him, you can feel his smile against you.
“So fucking good,” he mutters, barely pulling back as you feel the movement of his lips with each word. Your hips move forward anyway, chasing the delicious contact.
Fuck, you’re already on the edge. His mouth is giving you everything without holding anything back. Fixed on wreck you from the beginning, desire running through your abdomen.
“Oh, fuck. Jake, I–I’m gonna—”
“Eyes on me, preciosa.” Is all he says but your mind is gone, every cell in your body focused on the sweet hot pleasure that’s rushing to you core. Your head falls back against the seat as the shocks of ecstasy flow through you, your whines chanting his name, your hand holding thigh to his hair, your cunt clenching hard around nothing—his mouth not leaving you for a second, drowning in you.
When your legs twtich a little too much one hand holds your hips down hard into the seat to ensure you keep still but he’s not stopping, he’s—
He’s—
Two long, thick fingers slid in and out of you as Jake’s mouth goes up, focusing on your swollen clit, licking and sucking and his eyes—
Fuck, you can’t. You can’t. You can’t.
His gaze is so deep and strong, melting your fucking bones. You’ve never been seen like that, never.
“Keep your eyes on me or I’ll keep going until you let me see.”
You can’t help but clench at his words, a whine escaping your lips. He feels it.
“Mmm, would you like that?”
It’s too much, too intense. The free fall never stops inside of you. And you can’t even move away from it. You just have to take it the way he wants to.
His tongue swirls, his fingers curl and you completely lose yourself in the pleasure ripping you from the inside. Your sense of gravity changes to where his wet hot mouth keeps taking everything you have to give. His fierce brown eyes the only thing keeping you grounded.
“That’s it. Look at you, so fucking pretty baby,” Jake says in that dark rich voice you love so much, and though he keeps praising you you’re too gone to even hear anymore. All you can do is lay back against the seat of his limo until your heart stops booming in your ears and air reintegrates into your lungs again.
When feeling comes back to your numb body you find one of his hands massaging the back of your neck, the other moving from your collarbone towards that spot that keeps beating strong under his touch. He keeps his warm palm right there in your heart and fuck, he’s still kneeling in front of you, looking at you with Am I forgiven eyes and you know this is not healthy, this is not how things should be, yet all you want to do is to close your own eyes because you know they’re answering him yes, yes you are. Instead, you lower your head to brush your lips into his, an invitation that makes his body go so pliant on you when you grab him and take him up with you, maneuvering him until you’re on his lap and you can finally kiss him like you’ve wanted since the moment you met him.
That first kiss six months ago was tentative and stiff, it felt like he was trying to stop himself but his body wouldn’t respond to his rational wishes, like his mouth was moving against all his fucking will. Yesterday’s kisses were dark and possessive, every movement of his tongue deliberately planned to have you whining at his mercy.
This one is completely different. This time it’s you who’s leading the way. This time it’s you who’s showing him that the despair that’s so evident in the glimmer of his eyes is the same that’s hidden deep down in your chest. And you know, you know, that the moan that sips out of him when you cradle each side of his face and your tongue clashes into his is because he understands what your body is saying to him. He knows.
And it may be minutes or hours, all you’re conscious of is the constant pattering of the rain against the roof of the car, your own taste in his mouth, the way he pushes you closer every time you bite his lower lip, his fingers under your t-shirt caressing the small of your back, tracing your ribs and digging in your hips, the warmth of his skin, the hard muscle underneath, his damp curls when you run your nails through his head, those dark sounds that come out of his throat when you rock against the bulge inside his pants, the slow, steady bone-melting rhythm that completely intoxicates you until you need more, more, more.
And you know he does too.
He takes off your shirt in one swift motion. You feel something icy at the center of your collarbone but you don’t even have time to process it because suddenly your breast is in his hot wet mouth and his teeth are gently nipping the flesh there and then his tongue swirls against your nipple and—
You need—you’re overwhelmed by the need to have him as delirious as he has you right now.
You push him back into the seat and he’s immediately calling you preciosa and complaining but you are already kissing him, shutting him up, and undoing the zipper of his pants. He growls in your mouth when you palm the outline of his cock over his underwear, your walls clench hard in anticipation. And then he shivers when you slowly run your nails throughout his length over the fabric and you know you’re fucked. You will crave this feeling for the rest of your life.  The feeling of having Jake Lockley trembling with pleasure underneath you. An instant addiction.
You take his hard cock out and you and you don't even give him time to pull his pants out or take them off before you’re rubbing your slit against his length. Utterly and unashamedly desperate.
“Fuck, baby,” he mutters in your mouth, his tight and raspy voice making you throb in need, his muscles tense under your hands. “Feels soo good, doesn’t it? This is how it will feel like, everything, every fucking time.”
He pushes back a little to look at you. You know he’s talking about what you answered when he asked to have you. Show me how it would feel. You know this is his way to push for an answer. A confirmation that you’re his. But instead of trying to find those words hidden somewhere in your chest you get lost in his deep brown eyes and you realize that all those moments when he looked at you like he wanted to crawl under your skin your eyes must have looked at him just the same way.
“Will you let me have you?” The question leaves your lips this time, yet no words come out of his mouth but a breathless choked sound as if you’ve punched him in the gut. Instead, he just grabs the side of your neck and glares at you with something profound that could be anger or devotion, or maybe both. And then he’s kissing you, his tongue fighting yours, how dare you is saying. A hand on your hip lifts you up enough so that he can line himself up at your entrance and just when you begin to feel that pressure—
“If we are doing this you’re not allowed to leave again without warning, Ok? It’s cruel,” you blurt out without thinking, your helpless heart rising to the surface, exposing itself despite your efforts.
“Ok,” he answers, his voice torn and low, as solemnly as he can with your cunt torturously dripping the length of his cock. You look down, ready to feel him inside but he grabs your chin and makes you look at him again. “And you’re not allowed to say you hate me. Ever again. I mean it. Ok?”
“Or?”
“Or I’ll fuck your pretty little brains out until I have you begging me to stop but I won’t until I’m sure you’ve completely forgotten the damn fucking word. Ok?” He pulls at your hair for emphasis and you have to fight down the moan that threatens to leave your throat with the gesture.
“Ok,” you answer out of breath, obediently.
“Good,” he praises, soothing your scalp with his fingertips. Then, cheeky again. “What am I allowed to?”
“You’re allowed to ring the bell to my apartment, for once.” You laugh but then—
He holds your hips as he slowly begins to slide his cock in, gently and steadily but fuck.
Holy fuck.
You’re so wet there’s barely any resistance bet he’s long and thick and the stretch feels like he’s gonna break you in half. The strong grip of your hands on his shoulders makes him stop before he can go any further.
“You’ll get used to me,” he gasps in your temple. “Fuck, such a tight fucking pussy, baby. But I’ll make you get used to me. All of you.”
“Shut up and just keep going, for fuck’s sake”
“Relax on me, preciosa. I don’t wanna hurt you,” he whispers in your ear, his fingers caressing every inch of skin he can find, his tongue licking the pulse in your neck. “Relax…Mmm, that’s it. Yeah, like that.”
It takes a little.  The expert grip on your hips makes you sink into him so, so slowly every inch of him steals a whine out of you but you know it’s driving him fucking crazy too. He’s breathing hard, the muscles in his abdomen jump at the slightest shift of your hips, and a faint film of sweat appears on his neck. It makes you wanna lick him. But you get distracted by how good and how deep it feels and how his hands move from your hips to a playful hold on your throat, until they fall flat on the seat.
“You can go on, now,” he returns your words, a cheeky little grim forming in the corner of his lips as he leans back on the seat. Leaving you to it. Your heart swells at the wrecked and joyful gleam of his eyes. 
You try to say something smart and snarky at him but his cock is buried deep inside of you and you can’t think of anything else, to be honest. You lift yourself up and down, tentatively, the burning so good it has so gasping.
“Feels good, baby? Feels so right, doesn’t it? You know why it feels so right, don’t you? You understand it.”
You pick up your pace, oblivious of his words, trying to suppress the hidden emotion behind every roll of your hips. You don’t want to hear those words, you don’t need to. Not now. But he keeps going—
“You have no idea all the times a woke up this,” he breathes, his hands finding your hips again. Unable to stay away for too long. “Preciosa lurking me with her smart mouth and her —fuck— her pretty smile. Letting me punish her for being too good for me.”
He makes you clench hard around him. You can’t help it. It’s his words, the idea. 
“Mmm, you’d like that. I’d like that too. I could spank you for every time you wouldn’t leave my fucking head, for distracting me,” he growls grabbing a handful of your ass and squeezing it. “How red would your ass be then, huh?”
His hand goes up to hold your hip again. And now he’s thrusting into you. Reaching places you couldn’t reach yourself, so fucking deep. 
“I could edge you to tears for doing this to me.” The pad of his thumb finds your clit and you whine his name in response. The shots of ecstasy are growing fast and intense. You’re gasping, he’s breathing hard. And to your surprise, he keeps talking. “I could have you screaming for—for—”
Before he was forcing himself to get the truth out, struggling to answer your questions with honesty. But now it’s flowing out of him, a little bit of truth with every thrust of his hips. Every word sticking deep into your heart.
“Fuck, I missed you… my whole body felt it even—even when I wasn't myself.”
God, you can’t even process each sensation. And his scent is concentrated in that soft spot on the side of his neck, it makes you dizzy. You’re so out of yourself, so overflowed with sensations and desire, that you only notice you’re running your tongue down the skin of his throat when growls and holds you impossibly closer, just like you wanted.
Is too much. Everything. This is—you’ve never felt anything like this before. Like the whole ground is disappearing under you. All you can do is hold onto Jake, one hand on his shoulder the other on his nape, your face buried in his neck. But he’s asking you something, his voice softer than before.
“Do you understand?”
But you’re too lost on it. You can’t—Your movements start to grow impatient, fast, and erratic. The hot melting pleasure is close once more. But not close enough.
“Preciosa, answer me.”
You keep clinging to him, refusing to do anything but chase the feeling. You’re almost there, almost there, you’re—
You’re suddenly on your back, his body hovering over yours, both of your hands taken behind you, arching you and maintaining you exposed. Making it impossible to hide away. His hand is on the side of your neck, his eyes piercing through you. He’s expecting the same sincerity he has given you tonight. He’s done what you’ve been asking him this whole time—broken down the wall between you two. Why are you so scared to take what was behind it? Because it’ll consume you. It already is. And you know if he disappears again—If he disappears after all this everything it would be so, so much worse. It’s too much risk. It’s all too much. You can’t—
But fuck, he looks so lost in you. 
“Tell me, do you understand now?”
At this point, you couldn't lie even if you tried. Your heart is on the surface.
“Yes, yeah. I-I do. Me too, Jake.”
“Fuck, mía.” He groans between desperate kisses on your mouth, then becomes a prayer that escapes from his lips with every needier, sloppier thrust of his hips. “Mía, mía, mía…”
Your whole body tenses under him then the pleasure rips you from the inside, making you scream this time. The hard squeeze of your cunt enough to push him to the edge. He grinds his cock as deep as he can against something that makes you sob and then he’s cumming, hard. You feel his body shuddering above and you want to see every second of it but everything goes blurry.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
Somehow, you find yourself on his lap again. Your whole body a dead weight against him. Your head tugged in the curve of his neck. His hands moving up and down along your back.
Your body is tired yet the adrenaline is still running through your veins. You can feel it buzzing somewhere inside, that’s why you are surprised when your voice comes out as a whisper.
“If you disappear again I swear that I—”
“I won’t. I can’t.”
You push back to look into his eyes in search of any sign that may tell otherwise, but you don’t find any.
“I won’t be long gone. I’ll be back soon,” he reassures, running his fingertips from your neck to your collarbone, his lips gently tracing your jawline. “Apenas pude aguantarme esta vez. No soy tan fuerte.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I’ll be back. Ok?”
Suddenly he’s looking into your eyes for some sort of final confirmation that you feel the same way he feels, even if he didn’t confess it with words. And you do. You do, you do, you do, your answer to him. Instead, your mouth says—
“Ok.”
He takes your face in both his hands. His lips brushing yours.
“Mi preciosa.”
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
A few hours before sunrise, long after the rain has stopped, you enter your apartment. Happy and exhausted, you know you’ll fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. You also know you’ll dream of brown deep eyes and a raspy voice calling you preciosa over and over again.
As you put your keys next to the mirror at the entrance your eyes catch a sparkle on your neck. It’s a silver necklace with a little moon on it. It’s beautiful.
Your head turns to the window, to the moonlight and the limousine below it that you know won't leave until it sees all your lights off. 
You had never felt anything like this before, you had never been under the weight of an emotion so strong that there was no way to communicate it with words, you had never been able to understand someone just by looking into their eyes. But then Jake isn’t like anyone you have met before either. And there's nothing you'd do to change that.
You know he will be back.
———————————————
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lilyosamu · 9 months ago
Text
Normal Fucking Day
Alastor × Reader
Before reading, i will like to inform you that this version isn't finish and will never will be, if you want more information i will put a link where i talk why, anyways hope you still enjoy.
Warnings: cursing, blood, killing, reader has a problem
______
Fucking shit…
who could have thought that your co-worker could be a degenerate fucking cult leader…?!
I am sorry but i am done from this shit. Nope this shit is worst then the time that my mother tried to stab me with a fucking sandal. Actually i prefered if i could go to that time then this shit….
Ugh, why the dangerous psychopaths are the hot boys? Literally he is soo fucking hot Alexander. I could say some catching quotes like: “i don't mind you stabbing me~” but i could say that for shits and giggles! Not when that person literaly tried to stab me!?
Alexander almost stabbed Reader untill he paused and look at Reqder and ask:
“Do you always think aloud?”
“Shit! Did i say that aloud?!”
“yes and you are doing again”
As Reader was distracted as she felt ashemed and Alexander had the time in succeding in stabing her on her left shoulder.
“Fuck! You motherless son of a bitch! Hope you choke on a dick! No actually i hope you choke with your salivia! Hope you have the most stupidiest death! I want it to be so stupid that they can't make it public! Like…you electrocute yourself when you tried to use a sex toy when you could be in a bathtub with water you dumb shit-”
Of course Reader inuslted Alexander for the 15 minutes or at leats she planned that but Alexander didn't let her and knock her out.
You may be wandering why didn't she fight back? Well the same reason you start your homework at the last minute. because both of you are stupid.
______
When you opened your eyes you were tied down on a..table…?
“oh great. Do you know people this is how almost every porn video start?”
Actually you didn't know shit because you never saw a porn video in your life, i guess It's a curse and blessing at the same time or…maybe you have been cursed by the god of porn because you didn't watch in your entire life a porn video…
“what the fuck.”
You didn't even look at your surroundings but now with the voice that interrupted your thought you notice there is at least 34 people surrounding you.
“Oh, did i talk at loud again my thoughts?”
You said as you look at them. You had a feeling they were done with your shit without even seeing their faces. Well, it's not your fault they chose to be in a cult.
____
“Borther and Sisters, we are reunited in this beutiful demoniacal hour for our sacrifice for our lord-”
Before Alexander could say something else Reader interrupted him
“if i die as a sacrifice can at least die in peace knowing that i died to a hot god or whatever..?
One in the crowd said
“how dare you, you insolent-”
Reader again interrupted
“yeah yeah, “how could i?” but did you forget how your leader captured me? He propose me a one night stand and he knows how I am weak for pretty boys or girls~”
“okay just stop” Alexander said “Can't you be fucking serious for once in your life?! aren't you afraid for you life?!”
“ho you sweet summer child. Bold of you to assume i love my life-”
“would you shut up if i give you a dollar?”
And that actually did shut Reader as she was similing like an idiot with her one dollar that could not even spend, if the sacrifice was a success or she doesn't escape.
But guess what? Did she even try to escape? Nah, will she regret it? Probably but like she said “future problems for future me”
____
As the cult do its ritual, flames, dark shadow and a dark black light come from no where. Reader wasn't a religious type but that didn't mean she didn't believe in supernatural beings, she was pissy because she didn't have any popcorn for this or maybe she should film it but she thoughts that if she publish on YouTube no one could think the video is real but she could always do some buzz!
Reader didn't have an angel or demon on her shoulders. No, she had another version of her but with an expensive suit with expensive glasses that always thinks “mmmh…is it worth it the effort? Is it beneficial with money?”
anyways like every sane person you think, why Reader is thinking about that when she is in an horrible situation ?! Well i don't know Charle, why are we alive when we will die at the end?!
____
Before Reader could lose any other type of sanity (if it even exist) she stopped her thoughts and look what the fuck the cult members summoned, it could be funny if they summoned an instopable force without any morality and kills you but also the memebers…AHAahah…oh fuck..you realise you jinks it.
And guess what? You were right, the thing that they summoned it attacked everything and killed every members that tried to run away, you didn't know how after all you closed your eyes to not be even more traumatized then you are already but you could certainly hear their screams of pain, it feel like hearing souls from hell getting tortured there. It felt like the entity knew exactly how to inflect pain to give the most horrible death possible.
Even when the screaming stopped you open your eyes again after a good minute and you didn't believe what you are just seeing! A fucking furry…?! Actually you have no idea if It's a half wolf but you are sure that his aesthetic is a little too red for your liking and it felt like even if it had a humanoid appearance it was everything but human. That thing had too much of a dark aura to not feel like fleeing like a little bitch but you were lucky because mama didn't raise a bitch so you are going to face him! Wait- actually mama didn't raise anyone. She was a bit-
Plus it's not like you had a choice, you were still tied up.
You waited for your end (even if you didn't want a furry to kill you, i mean the ears could make you laugh if you weren’t in such a horrible situation)
And waited
And still waited until you see that that thing was looking at you curiously, ominously like it was thinking what to do to you.
Well the little human was right for once, the demon was interested in her why she wasn't screaming or trying to escaped, it isn't as fun if the victim already accepted Its end. That completely cuts Alastor appetite.
“sooo…” a voice break the tension “are you gonna kill me? After all normally i was suppose to be the sacrifice…”
Alastor's smile went even wider as he said with enthusiasm “Oh my dear! Actually that was the plan! But you seem more interested alive." Was that a compliment?
“oh…thanks..? I think….?..”
Alastor chuckles as your no longer tied down with a simple gesture of Alastor's hand.
“Well my dear..should you introduce yourself?”
“you know my mom said to not talk to strangers-” you tried to joke but that beast gaze was becoming a little too dark
.....
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idontlikeem · 7 months ago
Note
What made Geno your fave?
Oh boy!
For background, I started watching hockey in fall of 2009. I was bored over the summer and decided to get into a new sport. I’d never cared about hockey because my family didn’t follow it (we are football and basketball people), so I had no particular team I had allegiance to, so I did what any reasonable prospective fan would do: I looked up the most recent championship team and scanned their roster for hot guys.
There was Sid, of course. About my age, captain, and oh he’s cute, ok I can work with that. I did some research on his story and found it fascinating, because who doesn’t love a good golden boy narrative? A promising start.
Jordy Staal was also really cute to me, and Flower was pretty. And then we got to Geno, who the first picture I really remember seeing of him is one where he was smiling big, and as we all know he has the BEST smile.
After that, his backstory was just as interesting to me as Sid’s, in a totally different way. I mean, it sounds like a spy thriller, right? It’s crazy. And then he won the MVP that playoffs, and the highlights were up on YouTube, and wow, look at him skate. Look at him and Sid skate together, wow they’re so good. Look how Geno spins and cuts through guys out there, look how quick he is, how fast his hands are moving the puck.
I knew fuck-all about what I was watching but his skating style is so distinctive that I was able to pick him out on grainy 2009 and earlier footage with ease; let me tell you, focusing on ONE player for a full game or even period is such an underrated way to learn the sport. You see what they do when they don’t have the puck and it helps you figure out strategy, how plays develop, what defense is. Highly recommend.
He was still pretty quiet with the media then and I don’t think he was on Twitter yet, but he seemed funny and cute and I really liked his accent! And all the guys seemed to be friends, and I love that in a sports team.
It was summer so I watched a lot of the Pens’ old YouTube features. I learned about Mario and Jagr and the first set of back to back cups, and Sid’s draft, and how the team almost left the city. I learned about the rivalries with other teams, and the way the league worked, and what a salary cap is, and all the different penalties. And as it got closer to the start of the 09-10 season, I watched the road to the cup video for the run I’d just missed (it’s on YouTube now!) and there was that shot of Geno looking up, you know the one, with his scar, and that was my tipping point. The coverage of him in the Carolina series just sealed it.
He fascinates me. He’s shy but loud, funny but so publicly emotional. He’s flawed as hell but he tries so hard. He’s arrogant but he deserves to be, and he’ll never ever allow anyone to give him credit for when he’s playing well, he deflects. He’s accurately predicted the future twice. He’s so loyal it’s to the point of folly, almost. He has an unbelievable smile and rescues alley cats and is scared of big dogs. He’s a bully who’s never met a charity he didn’t contribute to.
And holy shit can he skate. Holy shit does he play beautiful, brutal hockey. He’s vicious with his stick and graceful with his hands.
And, yeah, he’s hot. That’s important to me too and I’m not sorry about that!
Anyway, I like him a lot. Thanks for sending me this ask and letting me talk about why :)
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lowkeyrobin · 8 months ago
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Hi idk if this is possible or if ip this makes u uncomfortable but maybe reader x Quackity or ranboo where reader is actor (idk what they/them people who act are called 😭😭😭😭) anyway and maybe there doing an award show and Quackity is was the shows on live and he’s just really supportive about it
hi!! and yes of course! ; also nonbinary actors are just actors, don't worry! even some women/femme presenting entertainers prefer actor over actress so it's no big deal! I don't know too much about award shows so bare with me LMFAO
QUACKITY ; award show
summary ; you've been nominated for best actor in supporting role, and Alex is there to cheer you on
warnings ; language, reader wears a tuxedo
genre ; fluff
word count ; 666 (ooo the devils gonna get me at 3am guys 😨😨)
masterlist
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Alex was your biggest fan, genuinely. You built your career from the ground up with him there by your side each step of the way. You'd never stray from your YouTube roots, so when your new movie-fans found your social medias, they were quickly fixated on seeing your content and you with Alex.
You'd been acting in smaller shows and movies for a while, like T@gged, a horror web series, you played a very minor role in The Walking Dead, and almost most importantly, you had a pretty big role in the A24 film Mid90s. Mid90s was basically your breakthrough, and you loved working with your costars and just being a skater who could act.
But, after the release of The Last Of Us, you'd gained a fair amount of new followers and subscribers. You weren't expecting your role to be that important to viewers, but people loved seeing you on screen playing such a different character that completely contrasted yourself. Alex did too, he religiously rewatched the movie just for you and would talk about how awesome or hot you looked in certain scenes. It was flattering. However, you weren't expecting to be nominated in the best actor in a supporting role over it.
You obviously brought Alex with you to the Oscar's, I mean, holy shit, how could you not? You both wear tuxedos, him in a dark burgundy color, and you in a dark grey with a lighter grey pattern. Both of you wear black collared shirts underneath your blazers and sit down at a table. You didn't know anyone else, nor were you friends with anyone else at the event, sadly.
You and Alex sit and talk about the event and the Streamer Awards coming up for him soon and what categories he'd been nominated in. Focusing the conversation on him made you a little less anxious about it all, considering if you for some reason won, you'd have to go on that stage in front of hundreds of people on live television to talk and hold your award.
A few hours pass, and finally, the show starts. You two both show respect for the other actors and filmmakers, but talk in between bits because your anxiety was only getting worse up until the point where you were on screen, showing your nomination for best supporting role.
Alex smiles and nudges your arm, telling you, "Look, it's you!"
You hide your face in your hands, embarrassed and flustered. You quickly smile and wave at the camera, however, until they move on to the other nominees.
"And the winner for Best Supporting Actor is..."
Alex taps his fingers on the table, watching you bounce your leg under the table as you watch.
"Y/n L/n!"
"Oh my God! Holy shit!" Alex shouts, standing up with you. He wraps you in a hug before quickly telling you to go get your award.
You grab his wrist and drag him up backstage and onto the stage, making him stand with you as you claim your award.
"Hi, oh my God, this is- this is crazy! Thank you!" You smile, speaking into the microphone as people clap and cheer for you. "Thank you so much, and thank you to my awesome boyfriend, Alex," You turn back to him, smiling as he holds his hands in front of him, clasped together. "I wouldn't be here without him, and I can't thank him enough. And thank you to all my fans who have been supporting me along the way, even new fans who just learned of my existence. Thank you so much, words can't describe how grateful I am right now"
You smile, looking down at the award before you walk off stage, Alex right behind you. He stops you backstage, wrapping you in a longer hug.
"I'm so proud of you, Y/n/n!" He smiles, "I love you so much"
"The adrenaline feels like drugs at the moment, my face is numb, holy shit"
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milykins · 27 days ago
Text
Halloween Hotness
Prompt – Wearing A Sexy Halloween Costume
This also would count for Kinktober I believe
Sorry for the corny title! I figured I should write something for spooky season. This also stems a little bit from the new Tales of the TMNT series on Paramount+. I thought it was adorable and sad how the guys all had these great Halloween costumes and never even got to enjoy the party.
This is the first time I've written a turtle x reader and I decided not to use (Y/N). It just feels out of place in my writing, writing ‘you’ is hard enough, I’m so not used it. Please be gentle, it was really difficult to get the tense right.
Thankfully, my lovely friend @danceingfae helped me edit this.
Michelangelo x Reader
Content Warning: Aged up characters, 18+, smut, female reader, penetrative sex and mild sexual harassment.
Bayverse Turtles but could easily be another iteration.
In this prompt you decide to surprise your SO turtle boyfriend (Mikey in this case) with a sexy costume on the way to a party on Halloween.
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Mikey absolutely loved Halloween, if he had to choose, it’s his favourite holiday. He loved the whole scene: dressing up, feeling like a regular guy and free candy! What’s not to love? This year you both agreed on a couple’s costume. He was going to be dressed as Bat-Turtle and you were going as Catwoman.
“Almost ready, Babe?” He called, bouncing on the balls of his feet in anticipation. His brothers were all doing their own thing out and about and you two were about to head to April’s Penthouse Halloween Party.
Sticking out your tongue, you carefully swiped the black eyeliner along the lower eyelid and placed the finishing touches on the top lid. Your cat-eye liner just had to be perfect. “Almost!” You called back.
The costume you picked out consisted of black leather with matching lacy black underwear. Slipping it on, you turned this way and that noting the lines of your bra showing under the suit and frown not liking how obvious they were. Not needing a bra anyways, especially with the tight leather pushing the girls up, you discard it then zip the suit all the way up, rubbing your hands over the now smooth area. Last touch was your mask, ears, thigh-high boots and sexy cat tail. Smirking at your image you stick you tush out and give it a wiggle while thinking, Catwoman, eat your heart out.
All Mikey had asked is for you to find a costume. He didn’t know exactly what he was going to see when you emerged. He hummed ‘spooky scary skeletons’ while he waited.
“I’m ready!” You sang, skipping out to join him.
Mikey turned to look, a huge smile coming to his face. “Awesome, Babycakes! That means we can… go…” he trailed off, mesmerized at the sight of you. “Holy shit…” He breathed, taking a long look at you.
You gave him a twirl. “Do I look okay?” You asked innocently. You knew you were having an effect on him and you loved it.
When he finally found his voice there was a husky edge to it. “Y-yeah…” he cleared his throat, jumping around you to get a better look, his cape swirling as he moved. “You look AMAZING! You look super hot, Babe!”
Your cheeks turned a little pink as you smiled, very pleased with his reaction. “Thanks, you look great too.” You lightly fingered the soft fabric of his cape and traced your finger around the horns of the mask he wore. “Shall we go?”
“Yeah!!” He replies, still a little dazed by your beauty but excited to show you off at the party. “Just watch, you’re gonna be the hottest babe there!”
You giggled as you walked toward the exit, your tail swishing hypnotically along with your hips.
Mikey is once again distracted by the way the leather tightly accentuates your ass. “So fucking sexy…” He whispered before following you and putting his arm around your shoulders.
Mikey is somewhat of a celebrity, word had gotten around about how he and his brothers had saved New York City and videos had popped up all over YouTube describing their heroic efforts. Mikey had not been shy or that humble about it. He’d signed autographs, taken selfies… so when the two of you entered the room, the cheering erupted.
Mikey loved a good party, but he loved showing you off even more. Throughout the night he took every opportunity to introduce you, he kissed you, danced with you, He’d made it very obvious that you two were an item. He was so proud that his girlfriend was so gorgeous and wanted everyone to know.
Sometime during the party, April had dragged Mikey away to introduce him to a couple fans and promising it would be quick. As minutes ticked away though, you wandered to the balcony and stepped out into the crisp air, closing your eyes as a small shiver runs through you. It was quieter out here, most preferring to stay in the warmth of the penthouse. For you though it was a nice break from the noise since Mikey was busy elsewhere.
A moment later you hear the door open and you smile thinking Mikey had come out to bring you back in to the party. As you turned with a smile, it faltered to see that it was not Mikey, but two men dressed up in dark clothes. Not sure, or caring what their costumes were, you give them a small nod of hello then try to step between them to get back inside.
“Where you going, kitten?” One said staying next to his buddy so you couldn’t get through. The look in their eyes up close made your heart start to beat nervously and you cleared your throat to try and speak clearly.
“Inside, back to my boyfriend,” you say giving them a knowing look and trying not to let them see your hands tremble. Everyone knew who your boyfriend was, it was definitely not a secret.
“Come on, sexy kitten, come be with a real man, not like that freak could satisfy you anyway…” They said.
You were already uncomfortable the moment you tried to get past them but after that comment you were angry. “No, thank you.” You said firmly. “Not interested, get out of here before he kicks your asses.”
“I think you might want to reconsider.” The one guy said, caging you in against the wall. “What’s he gonna do? He don’t scare us.”
You attempt to push his chest to escape but find the other guy has blocked you. “Not so fast, kitten, give us a kiss before you go!”
“No!” you say firmly, and your training with Mikey kicks in. You suddenly strike upwards with the heel of your hand and attempt to kick him in the groin. Both hits actually made contact and he yelped in pain. “You little bitch!”
His friend rounded on you to retaliate and you go on the defensive, wincing slightly because you really don’t want to be hit. As anticipated, they rounded up on you and you keep your defenses up. There’s small shaking in your hands which the men grinned seeing. Hating that, you take a breath as they reach back ready to swing their arm towards your face.
The hit never lands as the man is suddenly is ripped away from you and a soft growl is heard. “These guys bothering you, baby?” Mikey sounded different, like he was trying to restrain himself from ripping them apart.
You nodded, crossing your arms. “Yeah… seems they forgot who I belong to.”
“Thought so. They were just leaving.” Mikey grinned. The words are said cheerfully though there’s an edge to them. In a moment he’d grabbed both of the guys by their shoulders and was practically dragging them to the exit.
He knew April wouldn’t mind if he acted as a bouncer for a couple of creeps and throws them through the door into the hallway. “Thank you! Don’t come again, assholes!”
He shut the door, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. Then he went to make sure you’re okay.
You haven’t moved, still trying to calm your racing heart and hoping the evening wasn’t ruined. The feel of strong arms wrapping around startles you but in moments you recognize the feel of Mikey’s arms and lean back into him taking comfort in his touch.
“It’s just me, Babycakes… Are you okay?” he whispered against your neck.
You nodded and reach behind to caress his face. “I’m okay… I’m sorry… those guys…” You felt a little emotional and your breath hitched.
Mikey swiftly has you turned, in his arms and pulled tight against his chest. “No, no, no, no…” he said. “You did nothing wrong, it’s my fault, I’m the one who left you alone. I’m sorry…”
You melted into his embrace and wrapped your arms around his neck. “It isn’t your fault either.” Then kissed him.
Mikey’s arms tightened around you as he angles his mouth, deepening the kiss. Relief coursed through him as he felt your body melt against his. You were safe, you were real, and you were his. His kisses are soft but demanding as if he’s trying to drink you in, taking everything you have to give.
Willingly, you reciprocate, softly whimpering against his lips. A sound of wanting, an invitation for more. You need him now and you don’t want everyone staring as some are currently doing.
Mikey can scent the sweet smell of your arousal instantly, and breaks the kiss. He brings his forehead against yours, a silent question of your desire as you take in each other’s soft breaths.
You get lost for a moment in the bright, baby-blue hues of his eyes and your grip on his arm tightened as you whisper. “Let’s get out of here.”
Your adorable turtle boyfriend in a black, plastic Batman mask doesn’t need any more of an invitation than that. He scooped you up gallantly, like the knight in shining armor he is and you’re out of that party before you can even blink.
Mikey easily found somewhere private for the both of you. An alcove, tucked away from prying eyes. As soon as your feet hit the ground his lips are on yours again, hard and demanding. His arms pulling you in so tight and quick, you gasped into the kiss. You placed your hands on his well-formed, muscular plastron and rubbed. He quietly churred from the contact. You felt more than heard the sound rumbling through your hands bringing a smile to your lips. You loved it when he made that sound.
He brought his hand down to your perfectly round bottom and squeezed it before giving it a light swat. Your arousal spiked as you groan softly, showing your desire openly for him. Mikey never wanted you to hide how much you wanted or needed him.
Mikey began pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses on your neck, scenting you more as your need grew. “Damn, girl… you smell incredible, You know, I’ve been holding back all night from doing this… from wanting to touch you, feel you… Almost lost it when I saw those assholes harassing you.” His large hands move, exploring your body, sliding over your soft curves, squeezing and gently kneading the skin still tightly clad in the black leather. He suddenly slides the mask part of the costume over your head because he wants to see your face.
You do the same to him, easily removing the black mask and letting it fall where it may. He smiled, kissing you again deeply, his larger tongue exploring your mouth, pulling yet another moan from you.
His kisses are hot, demanding as he left your lips, sucking your pulse point. “Seeing those creeps bothering you…” he murmered, his thumb on the zipper, the only thing holding your costume together. “They knew… they knew you were mine…” He looked angry then, his focus off of you and away. Rarely he’d accidentally allow himself to go to a dark place regarding your safety.
To snap him out of it, you placed your hands on either side of his face. “I’m yours Mikey… all yours” You whispered. “I knew you would come for me.”
His gaze snapped back to yours and he breathed, coming back to himself. Looking into your eyes is like coming home, like finally getting air after holding his breath. “Mine…” he growled and claimed your mouth once again.
You encouraged him by reciprocating desperately, your thighs rubbing together as you feel much too constricted now with what you’re wearing. You reach and move his hand. The zipper click-click-clicked down a little before he realized what you were doing.
Mikey broke the kiss, smirking like a kid in a candy store. He can’t contain his excitement as he finished what you started, pulling that zipper down. Your breasts sprung free of their confines and were in his hands immediately.
“Ohh…” You breathed, shivering when your breasts found the open air then covered by his large, warm hands. “Oh, yes…”
He squeezed them gently, thumbing the tips in just the right way to make you gasp. “You have the most perfect tits, baby… so sexy…” His hot mouth is on them in an instant, his tongue tracing each pert nipple with ease.
Your body trembled and you felt the flood of heat and wetness go straight to your core. ”M-Mikey… ohh that feels good…”
“Hm…? You like that? I love the way you taste, babe…” He grinned, pushing the suit down one arm at a time and lower still. His hands splayed across your belly, relishing in the feel of your soft skin. “How wet is that sweet pussy of yours?” he husked.
You felt his fingers slide lower and arched toward him with a gasp. One of his thick fingers slid into your heat while is thumb carefully circled your very sensitive nub. You moaned low in your throat. “Fuck…”
Mikey groaned, hearing you swear was the best compliment, and a total turn on. He allowed himself to drop, groaning at the wetness he felt as he’s touching you. “Baby… you need me to fill you up?”
“Yes!” you gasped, grinding against his hand.
His fingers move achingly slow. “Say it, Baby…” he is so hard for you it’s almost painful.
You trembled, a desperate cry upon your lips but you gave him what he wanted to hear. “Mikey! Fuck… fuck me please!”
His costume’s gone, joined by yours in a hot second. You’re braced against the wall then with him poised at your entrance. “Can’t wait to make you scream…”
“Please…” you gasped out, knowing he loved it when you begged.
Mikey held your gaze, arms wrapped tightly around you. “I’ll give it to you, Baby…” he eased himself in, groaning at the way your hot, slick, channel stretched to accommodate him. “Fuck, you feel amazing… you always take me so good…”
You gasped at the initial but welcomed intrusion and arched your back with a soft cry. You felt so full, so incredible, you felt complete with him. “Mikey…” you breathed his name, full of passion and need. You caressed his face in the most gentle affectionate way. An unsaid declaration of the love you feel for him.
He felt it too. This connection you shared was like no other. “I know, Babe…” he said as he began to move within you. “I got you…”
His movements are slow at first, unhurried, he just wanted to feel you, hear the soft sounds of pleasure you made as he deeply thrust into you.
Your legs wrap around him more tightly, encouraging him to speed up his movements a little. “More… Yes… Faster…” You moaned.
Mikey absolutely obliged by moving his hands to your thighs. He thrust his hips harder, angling himself so he could hit that sweet spot deep inside of you. “Love this… love these sounds you’re making for me, Babe… love you so much…”
You can’t even answer him because he kissed you hard after those words. You whimpered against his mouth instead. You felt your body start to tremble and your inner walls clench all around him.
“You’re close…” His voice is ragged in your ear. “Scream for me… cum hard… just for me…” he redoubled his efforts fucking you harder into the wall, staving off his release because yours is that much more important. He needed to feel you first.
You do scream, a choked undulating cry as your body tenses up. You’re flooded with raw, unadulterated pleasure as you cum hard.
Mikey is not far behind. He jerked his hips, thrusting deeply a few more times with a ragged groan before filling you up completely with his release. He tries to make it last as he’s milked for all he’s worth, his essence is dripping down your thighs when he’s finished.
Catching his gaze again you breathed harshly as he huffed his own deep breaths. He reached to cradle your jaw, giving you the softest of smiles. “That was amazing Babe… you’re so awesome, I love you so much.”
Although Mikey wasn’t always the best with words, the true meaning was always here. He easily made you swoon with his heartfelt declaration. “I love you too, you always rock my world…”
“Always will.” He grinned and swiftly pulled out, forgetting about the gush of fluid that always followed when he did that. “Shit, um, oops? Actually, can’t be sorry, that’s always so, damn, hot.”
It was impossible for you not to laugh even more. “Yeah… I don’t think we’re going back to the party, Mikey…”
“Wasn’t planning on it. Still got our Monster Marathon to do, remember?” He looked so pleased and so excited, it was the cutest thing in the world.
“Right.” You managed to pull the suit back on over the mess and zip it up. “Take me home, Bat-Turtle.”
Mikey has his costume grabbed and you in his arms a second later. “With pleasure, my fine, feline.” He grinned, kissing you once more before leaping off into the night.
Most memorable Halloween you’ve ever had, it is quickly becoming your favourite holiday.
The End.
Tag List - small for now but if you'd like me to add you, let me know!
@iridescentflamingo
@thelaundrybitch
@danceingfae
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k-s-morgan · 3 months ago
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Recently checked back up on ATLWETD to see if it had updated and followed the tumblr thread here. Imagine my surprise seeing all of the wonderful snippets and asks you answered. Tom using the mood stone? I almost forgot that was a thing. And finding out that Tom was just being a possesive/calculating bastard when he took Harrys food is embarassing to me since my guess was so far off. I thought that Tom inferred that Harry suspected him of poisoning/ truth seruming his food when he told Tom "Happy Poisoning".
Anyways, I decided it was finally my time to step up and praise you like the glorious writer you are. How on earth you could ever believe that your works arent as creative or as plot heavy as other tomarry works is beyond me. To me, your fics have lovely foreshadowing that makes me pay very close attention to anything that is mentioned offhandedly by a character because in your works everything means something. (Like seriously, one detail I missed in WHGTB on the first read was Harry reading the description of the book Tom was going to use to bond him and you stuffing permanent bonding inbetween fertility and necromancy. You had Harry misdirect us by having him muse about necromancy so we wouldn't notice. And you're right, I didn't)
And the humanity and characterization that you give to any character you write? Hell, i'd say you give them more layers than the origional authors. I always know that you won't make the characters make stupid and out of character actions just to advance the plot.
My experience with your writing started with WHGTB (my first convincing tomarry fic btw, you were the one who snagged me). After that, I trailed after your content like a lost puppy. I consumed your hannigram fics without having a spec of knowledge other than "haha cannibal eats the rude". I have now watched the telltale John Doe/Bruce Wayne playthroughs on youtube and rewatched the lego batman movie for the first time since i saw it in theaters when it came out. A Rule for a Rule is shaping up to be the best thing that happened to batjokes (outside of Half Way Across). I've even tenatively read through your Black Butler work, which I was hesitant to look at given the age gap and having never watched the anime. Should have never doubted that your approach to their relationship would make sense. You make an anime which could be categorized as ridiculous (I apologize, I have no nostalgic memories of this anime holding me back. I read your fic first, the anime can't compare) into something psychological and beautiful. Just so so real.
Anywho, there's my small (because I could genuinely write an analytical essay on your works and enjoy it) love letter to your writing.
Stay safe angel, it's unfortunate that I can't do anything to help you or your country. Even more disgusting that my country could help if they gave half a shit but won't. I would say I'm praying for you, but given that I'm not religious that goes nowhere. So, pathetically, my 11:11 wishes will be used for your continuted health.
Hope your writing continues to bring you joy <3
Hi! Thank you so much for such a lengthy, wonderful ask - I have a few more unanswered ones in my ask box, and I'm so delighted that my stories evoke so many thoughts and feelings in my readers!
Funnily, quite a few people thought that Tom sharing Harry's food and drinking from his cup is related to Harry's 'happy poisoning'! This never occured to me. I admit I love when such stuff happens because it proves how a text is its own thing, a living organism, something that the author and every reader can have vastly different interpretations of. In this case, yes, I intended for Tom to keep testing the intimate boundaries and to see how much Harry would allow, to gauge what exact type of relationship they used to share. Slowly turning him into a possessive, obsessed monster in love is such a delight.
I'm so gratified that you enjoy the foreshadowing I'm trying to build! I do love it, and I can tell that in ATLWETD, the seeds of the largest plot twists and the ending have already been planted. It's difficult to recognize them without knowing the rest, but if someone re-reads the whole story after it's done, these little hints should become obvious.
Also, it's so flattering that WHGTB became the first Tomarry story you really liked! Really, it's an honor, considering how big this part of fandom is and how many brilliant stories fill it. And knowing that you followed my fics across the fandoms despite not being a part of them - wow! I'm speechless! You honestly made me blush, I'm so happy to hear all this.
I appreciate every word you wrote - this means so much to me, I re-read your ask a couple of times because of how happy it made me. I hope you continue to enjoy my stories and discovering new great fandoms :D Thank you!
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