#i mean Käärijä was there first by a whole year. But what is it with the green and musicians?
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Käärijä… brat… Fontaines… what is it about this colour
Everywhere I go I see her…
Edit: nvm, remembered more
#GREEN#brat#charli xcx#käärijä#fontaines d.c.#kaarija#fontaines dc#music#musicians#i mean Käärijä was there first by a whole year. But what is it with the green and musicians?#edit: more recent ones. Recent. Don’t ‘hey what about Weezer’ me#billie eilish#Kneecap#caroline polachek
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Since I won't see my friends until next year, I thought it would be a perfect time to do this again
Joker out and käärijä as random shit my friends say!!
(+ sneaky joost in one entry)
Under the cut because it's LONG
Kris: I actually miss Bojan, i'm going to tell him to come back from New York... but don't tell him I said that, it might get to his head that I actually like him
-
Bojan: writes on the board
Jan: is that arabic?
-
-Bojan's first time taking money out of the atm-
Bojan: what do I do now?
The screen of the atm: please select the language of your transaction
Martin: choose Slovenian, idiot
-
-at the airport-
Bojan: I'm going to get a pamphlet real quick
Jan: sure, I'll wait here
Bojan, coming back empty handed: I think I fell in love
-
Kris: in bojan's defense —not to defend him— but in his defense
-
Nace: hey, you wanna share this cookie?
Jan: sure
Nace: it doesn't break though, I already ate my half
Jan: you're an idiot, of course it can break, here, see? I broke it
Bojan: I ship you guys
-
Jan: -breaks a chair-
Jan: fuck, let me fix it -breaks the chair even more-
Jure: try to put the thing in that hole
Jan: -fixes the chair- Bob the builder 😎
-
(In the gc)
Jere: you want go party?
Bojan: I can't
Bojan: i'm sick and don't want to get worse
Kris: if Bojan isn't going, I'm not going
Jure: no fucking way 🤣
Bojan: I had to read that twice
Bojan: I was about to call him a bitch
-
Allu: if someone was killed while we were together, I think that Jesse, Jukka, and Jere would be the most level headed one's
Jesse: I think that Jere would be the one in charge to calm us
Jere: I would be making jokes like "at least we're better than that guy" and pointing at tommi's dead body
-
Jure: might go to this -shows a flyer for a singles only cruise-
Nace: only 99 euros? That's cheap... when is it?
Bojan: aren't you taken?
Nace: Oh fuck, I am
Bojan: apologize now
Nace, taking his phone out: I'm so sorry, babe
-
-during esc-
Bojan: okay, we're next, we can do this
Nace: -starts doing push ups for some fucking reason-
-
Jere: i go on stage now
Bojan: NOOO— i mean, YESSS
Jere: ?
Bojan: i'm just used to you leaving me alone :(
-
Jure and bojan: playfighting
Jure: now it's your turn, jan!
Bojan: jan wouldn't do that to me because he respects me 😌
Jan, getting ready to slap bojan:
-
(In spanish because there is no way to translate this dad joke)
Bojan: antes de que se me olvide, les quería contar un chiste: donde nacen las computadoras?
Jure: no sé
Bojan: en el mar
Nace: por qué?
Jan: porque navegan
Bojan: porque son peces
Kris: miren a los tremendos payasos que nos cargamos en esta banda
Bojan: 🥰
-
Host: for this, we're going to need groups of 6
Joker out: does a group hug
Bojan, tapping jere's arm: jere, jere
Jere: what?
Bojan: join us
Jere: really? Me? 🥰
Bojan: yes, you, you're part of the group 🥰
Kris: can you two stop?
-
Kris: do you have a pen?
Bojan, handing him a rainbow pen: yeah
Kris: gay pen
Bojan: at least it works
Kris: faggot
Bojan: I am! You have a problem with that?
Kris: I was talking to the pen! Not you!
-
Interviewer: Who would survive the longest in a deserted island?
Everyone: Jure
Bojan: I could survive, I think
Kris: I think that a coconut would fall on your head and you would die
-
Jesse: if a girl asked to peg you, what would you say?
Häärijä: no
Jere: skill issue
-
While watching a football game, in the gc:
Jan: well, i'm going to wait for the game to start while eating my cereal
Bojan: now I want some
Jan: the small box costs 2 euros in the supermarket
Bojan: you know what? I'm going to the supermarket now, i'm going to spend money because of you
Jan, sending a pic of the cereal box: here it is for reference 👍🏻
-
Bojan, after turning the washing machine on and somehow there was a power outage in the whole floor at the same time: ☹
Martin: hey, don't worry, it wasn't your fault, bojč
The electrician, a couple of days later: yeah, so, the outage was caused because someone used too much electricity in this apartment while someone was showering in the unit next to this one
Martin: so it was your fucking fault
-
Jan: I photoshopped us into some world cup images
Nace: it looks like Messi is kissing you, Bojan
Bojan: yeah
Jure: that's your dream right? Messi kissing you?
Bojan: yeah 🥰
-
Someone: yeah, so I spoke with the director, and he asked me if I spoke dutch and I said yeah
Jure: can you speak duch to us?
Someone, in dutch: I can, but what can I say? I just learned it to learn it, not because I liked it
Jan: okay, okay, Kris, it's your turn, reply in Dutch!
Jure: like we practiced
Bojan: literally jumping up and down like an excited puppy
-
Kris: this is bullshit, stupid fucking coordinators, they have shit in the fucking head instead of a stupid brain!
Jan: said the princess
-
-while playing volleyball-
Jure: just imagine the ball is your ex!
Bojan, cradling the ball in his arms: i'm so sorry, it was all my fault, I miss you everyday
Jan: great job, idiot
-
Nace: you look really good today, Bojan
Kris: yeah, your outfit is really well color coordinated
Bojan: thank you, krisko
Nace: and what about me?
Bojan: it's because Kris only bullies me, so a compliment from him matters more
-
Jure: idk if I'll be able to go out this Saturday, my parents are starting to make milk, and because of that I need to close their shop that night
Kris: making milk?
Jure: soy milk, yeah
Kris: Oh, I was about to ask since when did your parents have cows
Nace: moo
Jan: moo
^ they proceed to moo at each other for the next five minutes while the conversation carries on
-
Jere, just minding his business:
Häärijä, handing him a paper crown: you are now the queen of this realm
Jere: ❓
Häärijä: you will be the queen until we vote on who will be coronated next
Jere: thanks?
Häärijä: my pleasure, your majesty
-
Kris: I actually didn't call any of my exes while I was drunk last night, that's a great achievement!
-
Jere: hey guys, sorry if you hear me swearing, i'm playing a videogame..... FUCKING BULLSHIT
-
Jesse, after jere got the piña colada tattoo: hey can I see your prision tattoo?
-
Nace: remember to participate in the meeting
Bojan: i'm watching football
Nace: they're asking you a question bojč
Bojan: GOAAALLL!!!!!
-
Bojere, sitting chest to back in a bench:
Jan:
Bojan: Oh Jan, sorry that we're facing away from you
Jere: you want to hug me too? Join train?
Jan: yeah sure, let me just—
Jere: no! Don't touch me!
-
Kris: I would like to go back in time to meet Jesus and smoke weed with him
-
Käärijä: so, I'm walking to get to work, and I see a line of police cars and I'm thinking "I fucking hope that they don't want to do spontaneous searching because my bag is 90% weed, 10% my actual stuff"
-
Someone: yeah, this is my daughter, she's 4 and learning how to play drums
Bojan: that's your daughter? Oh my gosh 🥺
Kris: Bojan, you have a severe case of baby fever
-
Jere: where are the bathrooms?
Jukka, craning jere's head up to see the giant "TOILET" sign above them: over here
-
Kris: would you be with a guy?
Bojan: I'm bisexual, of course
Kris: what? 😱
Bojan: I already told you, you know this!
Kris: WHAT??
-
Joost, in the middle of having sex: babe wait, codnom broked :(
-
Kris: do you guys think the bouncer will let me in? I'm kind of tipsy
Jan: just go in confidently, he won't suspect a thing
Bojan: the last time he went in confidently he was banned from the club
-
Jan: so, how'd you sleep last night?
Kris: good
Jan: you don't seem so convinced
Kris: I slept in late
Jan: how late?
Kris: midnight
Jan: Oh, how blasphemous, how late
-
Kris, anytime they go to a new city: look at this door! I'm too tall to fit in it... look at this other door! I'm also too tall to fit in it... look at this door!
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Bojan, about stephanie: she's the world cup and i'm bolivia.... but hopefully I'll be bolivia in '94 and she will still be the world cup
-
Jan: I'm not like Jesus, at all
Bojan: well, you kind of are in some ways
Kris: yeah, you only hang out with fags and prostitutes
Bojan, pointing at them: here you have three fags
Bojan, pointing at jure: and there's a prostitute
-
Jesse: why are you leaving everything for last minute?
Jere: because I fucking want to and I fucking can 😝
Häärijä, holding up the printed meme: 🐴🤝🏻🐴 no pelien
-
During a post-barcelona pre-party meeting:
Kris: I think that's all for today
Bojan: typing very loudly
Jan: who are you talking to?
Bojan: with someone 🥰 you know him already
Nace: ohhh the lovebirds ���
Bojan: raising his hand up repeatedly
Kris: yes, Bojan?
Bojan: I'm really happy 🥰🥰 -instantly goes back to typing-
Kris: I'm happy for you, man
-
Jere after inflating five balloons for a party: well, my job here is done, time for my very well deserved rest
Jesse: get back up, you fuck, we need to move these chairs
-
Häärijä: bartender! Bartender! Bartender!!
Jere: I'm here, what do you want?
Häärijä: hi :) -leaves-
-
Bojan: sometimes I feel like I am batman and žare is the riddler
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Jukka: you guys would be the worst clowns at a kid's birthday party. They would ask you for swords, and you would give them snakes
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Kris, after seeing Jure having a sugar crash: someone give him a fucking celery or something, he's fucking melting on the couch!
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Jere: you live life like it's last day, say sorry to people, hug people, even punch if you have to punch!
All of joker out: raising their fists to punch bojan
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Jere: we only had a 5 euro budget for this secret santa so I bought one chocolate bar
Allu: it's not even wrapped!
Jere: wrapping paper is expensive!
-
During the secret santa:
Allu: I'm so fucking scared of seeing who jere got
Jere: so I had to buy something for...... Jesse!
Jesse: FUCK!
#yes i do think they're all fucking clowns and i love them for it 💕#main tagging because this was a 6 month effort#joker out#käärijä#joost klein#<- he makes a special guest appearance in the quote that made me laugh the hardest so.....
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Summer 2024
The Are You Tattoo Saga
I have been fascinated by tattoos for a long time. I love the fact that you can make yourself into a work of art quite literally showing your passions and story on your sleeve. There’s autonomy in getting tattoos as well; taking back our body that may or may not give us dysphoria (or other senses of discomfort) and decide what it shall look like for ourselves. Body parts that otherwise would make me uncomfortable have been made a source of pride (on good days) or at least I can look at it with content indifference (on the lesser days). All because of some ink. This might be why I have been getting more and more tattoos that – in some cases- may be seen as a spontaneous decision. This tattoo I’m gonna talk about now however is far from one of those.
If you read my previous entry about how Käärijä accidentally validated my gender, you may remember that I mentioned a comfort stim sentence: Are You.
It can be linked back to the Eurovision preshow days where Bojan and Jere were just starting to get to know each other which the two idiots did by fooling around on a date. This saying has not only become a way for the two of them to show endearment (or the fans getting to interact with each other and the boys), but it has also been what finally learned me how to roll my r’s practicing the right cadence alone in my room for the simple fact that saying it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It was also one of the things I became known for meeting up with fans irl for the first time between Käärijä’s Stockholm and Berlin gigs last year.
And so it didn’t take me long to daydream about getting it tattooed. Which ended up becoming a whole saga when Joker Out announced that they’d visit Malmö on their upcoming Europe tour (which is basically Denmark) and where I later – with a lot of people cheering me on from the sidelines – got Bojan to write the phrase down to me in two different fonts. To this day the concert is amongst my favourites.
Yet things don’t end there because one comment later about the possibility of getting Jere involved as well and I was off making a new sign. I tried getting Käärijä’s attention in Böle to no avail (other than making myself more stressed than I’d ever been at a concert). So, this summer going to Backas and Allas Sea Pool I had let the sign stay at home. Jokes on me, because suddenly in a rush of bravery I made myself a new sign out of half a pizza lid box left behind in the queue for the Allas Sea Pool gig. Low and behold if not Jere saw and reacted to this sign during the concert!! Getting by with a little help from my friends (especially this one finnish fan I’d met at Backas) I went home from the gig with Jere’s handwriting. A little over a month later on August 13 2024 the Are You tattoo saga concluded when I got a local tattoo artist (I’d already fanboyed too back in March when getting one of those spontaneous tattoos of mine) to make the little three way conversation permanent on my skin.
I have no idea how long the brainrot will continue. Maybe I will stop being this much of a fanboy in a year or two. But even so I don’t think (or at least I hope not) this tattoo will lose its meaning. Because It’s so much more than just a fan tattoo. It’s a story about a time I was foolishly brave no matter if it went well (Malmö) or it didn’t (Böle). It’s a story about the importance of interpersonal connections (the fan in Allas), the power of a found family through a fandom (or two) and also just a time in my life I was actively a participant in pursuing my own happiness.
I’ll say it again: I freaking love tattoos.
#transgender#transmasc#nonbinary#tattoo#body modification tattoo#the are you tattoo saga#my gig#malmö gig#backas gig#allas gig#käärijä#jere pöyhönen#bojan cvjeticanin#joker out#late entry#entry
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Saw your tag "feels like bojere bitches are in the minority" and I wonder if BoJere era is ... over?
I've been having some sort of feelings since reading the transcript of the Urheilucast podcast yesterday. Jere said that last year was hard because he had to be Käärijä all the time and no one was interested in Jere /or something like that.
I always felt like Bojan was his safe place where he could be Jere. Be himself. But he didn't even acknowledge that or mention Bojan. I'm happy for Jere to have new boyfriends and to get spanked to his heart's content but...
I feel like a traitor for saying this: is this the BoJere divorce?
What can we BoJere girlies (gn) hope for on 3rd March now?
Oh dear, this feels a bit above my pay grade maybe but I guess I have brought this on myself?
First of all, that was not my tag but someone's reblog, but sure, bojere girlies are probably the minority nowadays, but also, isn't that pretty natural? And also probably not a big deal? And does it matter? The whole point of the support group is that there are few of us left, our crops are dying, we are in a desert watching some sad tumbleweeds rolling around and clinging to each other, endlessly rehashing past events... *cue single tear*
I didn't think anything of Jere not mentioning Bojan in the podcast? That was really not the topic? Both of them have said multiple times that Bojan really helped Jere out in Liverpool. Also Jere probably has many people he can be just Jere around, and he didn't mention any of them either, not his family or closest friends, so I'm not sure why he would have gone out of his way to mention Bojan here.
It is very natural that we are not getting much content nowadays, nor do I think we are entitled to it. They have stated that they keep in touch and are important to each other. It doesn't mean that they are going to showcase their every interaction for our entertainment? It doesn't mean "divorce", it means... nothing at all? Because we can't really make any assumptions about them? They might even have talked about not making a big deal out of themselves publicly anymore, who knows?
As for March, it might very well be that we don't get any content then. But that was what I said before Nordic Tour as well, so we'll see, maybe it'll be another insane three days that sustains us for months to come? Point is, it's up to them and not seeing anything publicly doesn't really mean that they are not friends.
I don't know if I make any sense, and I don't mean to dunk on you, but I don't think it's that deep? We're all just trying to have a little fun and maybe make some friends in the process.
#ask#sad bojere bitches support group#you will never catch me pitching different ships against each other#we have lived in harmony all this time so let's keep it that way#everyone has two hands etc etc#also we have been blessed with so much content#let's not get spoiled or entitled#this is a joyous day in the JO fandom#let's not ruin it
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Eurovision 2024: 38 songs, first impressions
Wake up, bitches, it's that time of the year again.
No, not Christmas. It's Eurovision time, aka the time when we can verbally destroy each other and call our neighbors "filthy traitors", but in the end we would still be united against the real enemy: the jury.
As we all know, last year Sweden won but Finland caught the Snitch or, to put it simply, Finland won our hearts, but since the newly crowned King of Europe Käärijä was too busy being majestic and Finland was too busy being precious, Sweden graciously offered to host the competition for its neighbor.
Yes, this is what happened. No, you don't remember something different.
And yes, I ultimately decided to follow this year's competition. As someone said in some old post, Eurovision is a bit like that toxic relationship you can't escape from. And maybe you don't really want to escape from it.
So, since we're trapped in this hellhole, at least let's enjoy our time together with a heavy dose of sarcasm and a sprinkle of wholesomeness. Eurovision might have flaws, but nothing is perfect in this world after all.
As per every year, I always do my first listening while doing my chores, so the songs are in the background and I have no idea who sings what or from what country they're from. I just let them flow and see if something gets my attention.
And this year a lot of them did! I couldn't identify a clear winner, but I found a ton of small, beautiful gems everywhere. Oh, this year seems very, very promising.
As always, this is my first listening: many more will follow and my opinions may drastically change. So please, don't take my comments too seriously: this is all for fun.
__________
ALBANIA
Pretty nice song and pretty nice rhythm, I really like it.
But also... I've been to Tirana in January and I've listened to the songs they have there. And even if this one is very good, I would've loved more true Albanian rhythm.
Still, this will probably end in my personal playlist, so that's a plus for me.
Vote: A Titan in disguise? *Greek mythology intensifies* *Cronus intensifies*
__________
ARMENIA
We all stan a song in Armenian and if you don't, you will start doing now because yes, we have Armenian and yes, it sounds great.
So let's all thank Armenia for bringing its beautiful language - along with some nice Balkan rhythm that kept slapping me in the face.
But you know me, I'm a simple Mediterranean: I hear Balkan rhythm, I love it.
Vote: I will always be a slut for Balkan rhythms
__________
AUSTRIA
If Armenia slapped me with Balkan rhythm, Austria bitchslapped me with the whole 1990 decade.
But you know me, I am a simple Millennial: I listen to something that seems to come straight from the 90s, I dance.
Vote: We! Will! Rave!
__________
AUSTRALIA
This was... good. Just good. And the singer is good too. Maybe even too good.
Sigh, Australia forgot again that this is Eurovision. Please, someone, remind them this is the show of fire, sparkles and insanity.
Vote: "What ya gonna do in the real world?" Easy, WE! WILL! RAVE!
__________
AZERBAIJAN
Luckily Azerbaijan remembered that hey, they're the country that delivers good stuff! They should bring a good song!
And so they did and delivered us a good song, with good verses and a wonderful chorus in Azerbaijani.
The only problem is that the chorus is much better than the verses and if the song was entirely in Azerbaijani, it would've been a banger. Unfortunately, it's just good.
Vote: great job, Azerbaijan. Next time, ditch English entirely
__________
BELGIUM
"Are you still playing the game?" If you mean The Game, I think we all lost it.
Vote: +1 for the power move of making everyone lose The Game
__________
CROATIA
As soon as I started listening to it, I was assaulted by a sick rhythm. Then by a guy who tells me he's a big boy. Then by his anxiety. Then by more sick rhythm.
Then by what is probably the greatest line ever said in the history of music:
One last thing: the singer's name is Baby Lasagna. Baby Lasagna. He's speaking to my Italian heart and, even more importantly, to my Italian stomach.
And you know me, I'm a simple Italian: food is mentioned, I vibe.
Vote: my cats will vote for him
__________
CYPRUS
Oh no, please help this young lady! She forgot she's from Cyprus and she should send sick bops in Greek!
Vote: it's not a bad song at all. It's just not Cyprus-worthy
__________
CZECHIA
Oh, sorry, I didn't know this was a therapy session. I'll wait in the hall.
Vote: it's not bad, it's just... nope
__________
DENMARK
After a lot of disappointing years, finally Denmark brought a great song! The singer is good, the rhythm is good and it deserves a place in the final.
Vote: it's not in Danish, but we can't have everything
__________
ESTONIA
This song is an instant favorite. Native language, sick rhythm, adorable weirdos, all in one package.
And let me repeat that: Estonian! Beautiful Estonian language! It was such a wonderful surprise to listen to it! I literally stopped what I was doing and perked my ears because mmmh, it sounds like Finnish, but it's not exactly Finnish... what's that? And it was Estonian.
I am in love <3
Vote: pure Moldovian spirit in Estonia? I approve.
__________
FINLAND
So, let's recap:
we have a singer named Windows95man.
He wears a blurred Windows logo and no pants.
He comes out from an egg made of jeans.
The other singer isn't always in tune and he's dressed in pieces of jeans that make him look like a paperman.
He has the balls to ask if there's anything wrong with how he dresses.
The song screams of the 90s.
And then, during the performance, a pair of shorts literally fell from the sky.
With fire.
If that's not pure Eurovision, I don't know what it is.
(And before you ask: of course they cannot use Finnish, only Käärijä can and only the next Käärijä will be allowed to use it.)
Vote: Even if Finland sent the worst, most boring singer ever, for this year I would've given it a free pass. But Finns are such bosses, they decided to send this. Respect only
__________
FRANCE
And here on the right, you can see the French Frenching harder than ever.
Vote: a song named "Mon Amour". Seriously. Seriously. What will be the next one about? La Tour Eiffel? Oh wait, you already did that
__________
GERMANY
I'm mad because I already know this song will get zero points just because "iT's GeRmAnY", even if it's actually good.
Vote: thank you Germany for still sending good songs. You deserve more
__________
GEORGIA
You're "rising from the ashes like a phoenix"? Well, now I remember Conchita Wurst with Rise like a phoenix, which is way way WAY better than this song.
And since Conchita is Austrian, I also remembered the memo we got this year, which is one and one only: WE! WILL! RAVE!
Vote: more rave, less this
__________
GREECE
What? What? What do my ears hear? Greek rhythm? Greek language? And it comes together with a more modern vibe?
See, Greece? SEE? This is how you do things well. This is how you choose a good singer to represent your country. Thank you, Greece, for finally picking someone competent and not the umpteenth child.
Vote: finally, a song Greece-worthy
__________
ICELAND
I don't know why, but this song reminds me of another, more famous song. Can't exactly pinpoint which one, but it's way too familiar and I don't like it.
Vote: as soon as it was over, I forgot it
__________
IRELAND
And here on the left, you can see Ireland coming back to their roots, aka the most insane, batshit crazy stuff they have, stuff that will make you question what the heck happens on that island and if everyone's okay.
Vote: not a favorite, but it's definitely something I've never heard before. So that's a plus
__________
ISRAEL
I still have no idea why Israel is here, but I suppose that some have a free pass for killing innocents.
The singer isn't bad either, but the rhythm keeps reminding me of another, more famous song. Just like Iceland, I don't remember exactly which one, except that the famous one was better.
Vote: you shouldn't even be here
__________
ITALY
I already made a post commenting the Italian songs from this year and told a couple things about Angelina Mango and this song's meaning.
Here I can only reconfirm that this song is still a huge bop, the southern rhythm is still my Roman Empire and we may still have some chances of winning this year's Eurovision.
Vote: her southern accent my beloved
__________
LATVIA
The rhythm isn't so bad, but it's just so. Very. Forgettable.
But hey, I suppose it's good for re-listening, because I listened to it twice and both times it was like listening to it for the first time.
I didn't like it both times, but that's a detail.
Vote: just as forgettable as the Icelandic one
__________
LITHUANIA
You know, I respect Lithuania. Their songs are not my favorite, but they keep using their own beautiful language. Hence why, they deserve a place in the final.
Vote: keep showing us the beautiful Lithuanian language, I believe that one day I will find I song I like
__________
LUXEMBOURG
Do you know what I feared the most this year? That Luxembourg came back after 30 years and the song was shit. That they showed us something stale and boring.
But Luxembourg stepped in like the queen of the party and said: "Please, hold both my French and my English, because I can and I will drop something sick". And so they did.
Amazing rhythm, amazing singer, amazing return.
Vote: Luxembourg is back and wants to win
__________
MALTA
Malta is my personal Sweden. Even when they send a song I don't really like (like this one), it's just weak. I don't remember a song coming from them that I considered truly "bad".
I don't know what kind of sorcery Malta does, but it works on me every year.
Vote: Malta has too much power on me
__________
MOLDOVA
Don't worry, Moldova: you can't always be the best every year. You deserve to relax once in a while and this year you've been covered by a lot of other countries.
Vote: it's not the huge bop you would expect from Moldova, but that's okay. I'll let it pass, because Moldova always does great things for Eurovision
__________
THE NETHERLANDS
This song has a lot of amazing things.
First, the language: thank God, the Netherlands are still sending songs in their native language as it should be. It's beautiful to listen to it and I love to hear words that kinda remind me of both German and English.
Second: despite what it seems, this song isn't a satire/parody of Europe. On the contrary, it's a celebration of how open Europe is and how easy it is to travel without borders.
And it may seem normal for us because we're used to it now, but I visited Albania this January and there were a shit ton of controls and checks to do. While last time I went to Greece, all I had to do was walk down a corridor, show my ID card and everything was fine. The open borders truly are a victory for everyone who likes to travel - and a sign of how much better Europe is. So a song celebrating them is very much appreciated.
Third: the song isn't just about open borders! It's about a man remembering his parents, about how much he still misses them. And it's about his victory. In the end, he's literally telling them: look, dad and mom, I finally made it to Eurovision.
And these soft, wholesome things always get me in my cold heart <3
Vote: top of the final chart, no questions
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NORWAY
Let's all thank Norway for bringing the folk theme, along with their beautiful language.
I don't know what happened this year, but we are blessed by so many beautiful languages it truly seems like Eurovision and not Englishvision.
Vote: a bit too many screams, but I appreciate the enthusiasm of speaking in your native language
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POLAND
Poland learned from last year and instead of bringing another ball of nothing, they brought a song more fitting for their vibes.
It's in English tho, and that's very sad because Polish is a nice language. But at least the singer is good and in tune.
Vote: She built the tower. If it's the one from Stephen King's series, then we should have a chat
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PORTUGAL
Portugal did a miracle last year, by bringing a song I actually liked. So in order to be coherent, this year they brought another boring, forgettable song.
Vote: nothing good lasts forever
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SAN MARINO
Don't worry, people, San Marino will bring all the party vibes we need. It will take them some time to come, because they took a detour to Spain, but the vibes are still great.
Vote: maybe this year they won't be the usual traitors and give us 12 points
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SERBIA
Serbian lyrics? Yes, please!
And even if this song has some ballad vibes, it's not the umpteenth boring ballad. It's a very nice, soft song and the singer's voice is good too.
Vote: great job, Serbia
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SLOVENIA
A song in Slovenian? We stan! We all stan!
I'm not sure I like the "rrruaph!" sound, but the use of a native language and the dark vibes are very appreciated.
Vote: all these countries are spoiling us with their beautiful languages and I'm here for it
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SPAIN
Spain rarely disappoints and once again they proved it: instead of bringing the umpteenth young gal, this year they chose a more mature singer and not only she has a wonderful angelic voice, but she sings in sexy Spanish and her song is perfect dance material.
Vote: We're all zorras
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SWEDEN
Since Sweden refuses to bring something else besides the same generic pop music in English, I want to start a new trend: the Swedish Suggestion Box. Here we can all suggest much more interesting Swedish songs (or artists!). There's only one rule: they shouldn't be boring, nor generic stuff you can hear on the radio 24/7.
This year, I would like to suggest Nanne Grönvall: she's a pop singer, but she mostly sings in Swedish. I particularly recommend the songs Håll om mig, Den Vilda, and Vi är dom tuffaste.
If you have other Swedish artists or songs worthy of attention, please recommend them in the comments/reblogs! Even if the songs are in English, they're still fine! As I said, the only rule is that it shouldn't be generic and boring.
And I know Sweeden can do better than generic and boring.
Vote: Suggestions are open!
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SWITZERLAND
Switzerland is my second Sweden: even if other people might hate the songs it brings, I've rarely hated something coming from it. And if I did, it was with fiery passion. Yes, I'm looking at you, devastatingly boring 2022's entry.
So I'm very happy that this year we can all agree this is a great song, because wow. WOW. Mixing electropop with opera singing made something truly amazing to listen to and I can't wait to see if the singer manages to do it live. If he can, it will be magnificent.
Vote: fine, Switzerland, I'll forgive you for the 2022's entry. But only if you keep sending amazing stuff like this
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UKRAINE
Ukraine = quality and no one can deny it. I'm not a huge fan of this mix rap/Ukrainian rhythm they have been brought in these last years, but as long as I can listen to some nice Ukrainian language and some new vibes, I am all for it.
Vote: thank you, Ukraine, for always bringing amazing stuff
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UNITED KINGDOM
And here it is: the only country (with Ireland) that is legally allowed to use English in a song. Even if I dream that, one day, the UK will send a song in French and blow up the entirety of Europe.
The song per se isn't bad: very 90s' vibes, very dancey. But if I have to choose something with 90s vibes, I prefer the rave.
Vote: not bad UK, but could be better
#beauty talks about stuff#eurovision#eurovision 2024#that's a promising years#lots of native languages#lots of good songs#and barely any ballad in sight#we're closer to that day#the day we will move past the need for ballads
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I’m still digesting my feelings about Eurovision 2023. I don’t remember being this angry any other year. Leaving aside the whole Finland vs. Sweden thing, because other people have already talked about it, what happened??
I’ll start with Spain, because I’m spanish. Look, we have a weird relationship with Eurovision. I remember joking for years about how we wanted to be the last ones. I feel neutral about flamenco, I don’t usually listen to it. But Blanca Paloma was AMAZING, guys, her vocals, the song, the stage. Was that really only worth 5 points? I don’t want to talk about what this means for us, “us” meaning Andalusia, not Spain, because they hate us but also use our culture to represent the whole country, but only when it’s cool; since Eurovision I had to read so many spanish people talking badly about flamenco. Ugh.
I read someone on twitter saying that Blanca was screaming meaningless nonsense and that is so disrespectful. We use "ea ea" to lull babies to sleep. It is a lullaby sung to a baby. “My child, when I die, may they bury me in the moon. And I hope to watch over you every night, every night except one”. The first thing I did when I listened to Cha Cha Cha was look for the translation and I also tried to learn the finnish lyrics. But I guess spanish is too difficult.
But forget Spain. So many countries deserved better. 16 points for Austria??? Czechia?? Portugal?? GERMANY DIDN'T DESERVE TO FINISH LAST.
I get it, we were voting hard for Finland. I get it. But I can’t believe that Israel is in the top 3, for example. All the jury votes were like “all our love to Ukraine :(... anyway, here are our big points to Israel!!” Guys, what. “Europe, do you want to see me dance?” and so many people just forget about the conflict there, I guess. I’m done. All those points from the televote could have been for so many other countries. Including a few more for Finland. Käärijä was so close.
#eurovision#esc 2023#i don't even know what to use for the tags#spain#blanca paloma#eaea#austria#czechia#portugal#germany#finland#fuck the jury#but also wtf europe
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Eurovision Special!
It's my favorite time of year, Eurovision time! Every year I make a post talking about my five favorite songs from the year and generally talk about what I thought of the whole competition.
Uhh here's the thing though, this year SUCKED. Like I have been following Eurovision for six years and there has never been a more mid year in my experience. There were literally only 5 songs I liked, which while it made writing this really easy, is terrible given I usually playlist around 10 songs each year. I don't know what was happening but the countries dropped the ball on picking entries and the jury decided that only boring songs were allowed to do well. I cannot express how disappointed I was this year. (I just realized in my last post I wrote "Eurovision is getting too good, and what comes up must come down sometime" and unfortunately I was right)
Anyways, if you haven't read my last two Eurovision posts (which you can find here and here) I give each song a score from 1-10 in four categories: singer, song, catchiness, and performance. While technically a perfect score is a 40, there are available bonus points based on whether it isn't in English, it makes me laugh really hard, embodies Eurovision, etc. Each song also gets a fun little note so I can remember what it sounded like. Listen it's really hard to keep track of 37 songs.
Without further ado, here are the only good songs in Eurovision 2023:
5. Lithuania - Stay by Monika Linkytė
Score: 28/40
Notes: chutoh aahh tootoh
Final Ranking: 11th
I was really on the fence about including this one since it didn't really grab me at first, and in all honesty its not that great or unique and I kind of wrote it off as your standard Eurovision song.
But then as the days went on, I found the chorus - ‘Čiūto Tūto’ haunting me. I have never had more fun than dancing along with the chorus and there has not been a day I haven't sung this song. I'm re-listening to it now and honestly, I'm fine never listening to it again, but it has changed my life.
4. Austria - Who the Hell is Edgar? by Teya & Salena
Score: 30/40
Notes: Poe Poe Poe Poe Poe
Final Ranking: 15th
Now this is why I listen to Eurovision. I come here for camp nonsense and this year Austria delivered. A feminist song about being possessed by Edgar Allan Poe?? Perfection. The song itself is really catchy, the singers are incredibly fun and charismatic, and the music video is just such a great time. I am really sad this song didn't place higher, especially since a lot of people were praising it. You deserved more girls!
(although edgar allan poe was actually very pro-slavery so they should be canceled /j)
3. Malta - Dance (Our Own Party) by The Busker
Score: 30/40
Notes: Perfect sax part
Final Ranking: didn't make it to the grand finale >:(
As the comment suggests, the strength of this song is the killer sax riffs (riffs multiple!! they just kept delivering!). The song as a whole is a super fun time, with a fun message and a goofy music video, once again things that I look for when I listen to Eurovision songs. Plus they're from Malta! A micronation represented by people actually from there! I feel like that alone deserves bonus points (I mean Malta only has half a million people, less than Wyoming).
2. Portugal - Ai Coração by Mimicat
Score: 38/40
Notes: Cabaret flamenco
Final Ranking: 23rd
This song reminds me a lot of Fanfare Ciocarlia in the best way. Its quick, full of brass, and makes me want to dance. It's also all in Portuguese and the live performance was absolutely mesmerizing. I don't know exactly what this genre is called, but I'm such a fan. Give me fast-paced music and some brass and I'm in love.
Finland - Cha Cha Cha by Käärijä
Score: 39/40
Notes: Why did the bridge keep going
Final Ranking: 2nd
C'mon, did you really think that I would put any other song at number one? This song hooks you from the beginning, has an aggressively European synth riff, nonsense Finnish lyrics, an inexplicable heavy metal chorus, this song is absolutely wonderful and one of the best to come from Eurovision. This song clearly stands out from all the others, and is the only one that I know of that made its way into international Tiktok. I mean if my roommate knows a Eurovision song without my involvement that means that it has some cultural power.
Unfortunately, I don't think this song is perfect. The bridge kind of ruins the momentum of the song by steering it into generic pop and for some reason they keep that overtone for the rest of the song. They were so close to committing to the bit, then they weirdly tried to make it sound normal. That aside, this is clearly the best song of this year and I am convinced that they rigged it.
I think the only songs I actually liked enough to keep listening to in my daily life are the last two, which is pretty bad for a Eurovision year. I just hope they do something good next year in stupid Sweden.
(and my least favorites this year were Georgia and Greece, really bringing down the letter "G." Luckily Germany brought a great song to make up for those two.)
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I'll be a little bit of the devil's advocate here, but the argument about Blanka dating Edyta's son was not confirmed anywhere, there's no proof they knew each other. Also TVP ignored our pleas to release the actual vote numbers, so we still don't know what the difference really was (and it's based on some unofficial leaks), but...
it's a fact that they noticed the huge hype for Jann (similar to what Käärijä currently has in the esc fandom) and changed the voting rules a few days before the selection to give the juries more power.
They didn't release the actual televote numbers. Didn't even release the votes of each jury member. We also don't know what the televote money is used for. There's a complete lack of transparency and TVP just acts like Blanka is Poland's representative and got chosen by us. It's also not the first time when TVP does something shady,they were involved in the last year's voting scheme in the semi-finals which resulted with us having a televote only semis this year. They're also the station spreading the current ruling party's propaganda, which is often anti-lgbt, anti-abortion, etc. It's not the values a broadcaster participating at Eurovision should have.
If someone enjoys the memes and the song (it's catchy, I won't deny that), go ahead! Don't be mean to Blanka either, she put a lot of work into improving her performance, too. Just keep this whole situation in mind and better vote for someone else, because this song doing well would only show TVP that what they're doing is okay. While it's not and we want someone really talented to represent Poland. We've never won and it's probably because of the broadcaster's stupid decisions like this one 😥
Eurovision PSA
Just a reminder that Poland (the country) doesn't want you to vote for Poland during Eurovision 2023.
The whole fuckery that happened can be summarized shortly as:
The "jury" way of voting in our country has been introduced three days before the competition.
The song chosen by the jury was not what people chose in popular vote (the difference was staggering and supposedly as high as 35k : 8k votes)
The mother of Blanka's supposed "boyfriend" was the head of the jury
Her dance choreographer was also on the jury
She won only by the jury vote as you can imagine
Her song was promoted left and right
We wanted the song disqualified but nobody listened to us
What we wanted to go through is here:
youtube
So yeah, don't vote Poland, thank you
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