#i may post more tomorrow but i need to dry my hair and go to bed lmao
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angelicgirlmj · 3 months ago
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an angels guide: before your first day back to school ౨ৎ ⋆。˚
hi angels! so for many of us it’s approaching back to school season. for lots of people this can be a bit of an anxiety inducing time, whether you are starting a new school year or kind of education there is alot to plan and prepare and get ready for - it can feel extremely overwhelming! here is my guide for having an organised and effective first day back at school to get you on track and motivated! enjoy and as always feel free to comment your own tips or advice.
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the week before ౨ৎ ⋆。˚
check through stationary and buy anything you need, check subject lists to see what is recommended as well. buy cute stationary in your favourite colours to motivate you!
sort through books, folders etc and organise notes, any loose pieces of paper and any important documents.
assign a folder to each subject, or if already have a folder check through and make sure it is organised and neat.
clear school emails etc, check through and organise into sections and respond to any. check for any information from your school regarding the upcoming year.
finish off any summer work and make sure it is all complete and ready to be handed in on the deadlines provided. check for any extra work if you have spare time, such as a book or article to read.
read up on the new syllabus/lesson plan for your subjects. familiarise yourself with how it looks, any new terms and any possible problem areas.
fix your sleep schedule! start going to bed earlier and waking up at the time you need to be up for school just to make it less of a shock to your system.
check your bag will fit everything and that any additionals such as a water bottle or lunch box are in good condition and to your tastes.
work on your morning/evening routines, plan when you will be doing work and make necessary changes.
figure out your fitness goals and routines - are they realistic for a full time student? time management is key.
if using apps such as notion, ensure it is set up for the new school year and neatly organised.
plan outfits, check through clothes in case in need of new underwear etc or wardrobe staples.
research healthy and nutritious lunch ideas (may make a post on this later!!), buy ingredients if needed.
do any ‘high maintenance’ things, get your nails done, lashes, eyebrows etc.
pack an emergency bag (pads/tampons, spare underwear, cash etc).
check any hygiene products and buy new ones/replace old ones if run out or in need of more!
do more self care, do a hair or face mask, do your own nails, watch your favourite films, have some you time before school starts again.
make a back to school playlist.
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the night before ౨ৎ ⋆。˚
eat a healthy dinner.
do face mask (use one you have tried before in case a new one causes a bad reaction).
oil hair + hair mask.
dry brush before shower.
wash out oil + masks, shampoo twice.
apply conditioner and leave in.
exfoliate and clean body with soap before shaving.
wash out conditioner and apply bath gel.
finish shower, hair routine (mine is in-depth i have curly hair!), apply body oils.
blowdry, diffuse or air dry hair depending on type.
apply body lotion and perfume.
make tea and drink while doing some journaling (what is my plan for tomorrow, what do i want to achieve etc)
pack bag and organise clothes.
clean teeth, floss and mouthwash.
do gua sha routine and ice face.
do pm skincare routine.
do nail care routine and out hair up for bed.
watch comfort show or read comfort book.
set alarm.
have an early night!
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the day of ౨ৎ ⋆。˚
wake up nice and early.
do some yoga/stretching.
tidy room.
eat a healthy breakfast.
pack or plan lunch.
fill up water bottle.
check bag is fully packed.
check school timetable, make note of rooms etc.
have a quick shower if time (shave, body gel etc).
clean teeth and do am skincare.
get dressed.
journal and plan day.
put on back to school playlist!
head to school.
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thank you for reading angels! hope this was so helpful and have a wonderful back to school season. all my love, m.
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climbthemountain2020 · 10 months ago
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Hope of Spring - Chapter 9
Also posted on my Ao3!
Find Ch. 8 here :)
The first things Penny heard when she woke up were male voices she didn’t recognize, blurred on the edges of her consciousness.
She tried to take stock of her body. The cut on her arm felt tender, but no longer felt like an open wound. Her ankle seemed mostly back to normal. Her head was absolutely pounding and her mouth felt dry as though she’d swallowed ash.
Am I in a hospital? The memories of the fight came back to her rapidly, and she was struck with terror that perhaps everything had been a dream, and she was back in her own world, waking up with some sort of traumatic head injury. The thought made her want to burst into tears. I should have kissed him stupid every chance I got.
She heard Tamlin’s voice across and almost sobbed with relief. “She’s going to be okay, though?”
A soft female voice, then. “Yes, she’ll be okay. Let her rest. Her arm has been patched, and her ankle is already healed. The panic attack took a lot out of her, but there’s no reason to think she won’t be perfectly fine when she wakes. She used a large amount of strong magic very abruptly, and from what you told me, it wasn’t one she’d accessed before. She will need to replenish her strength. Lots of rest, and make sure she’s eating.” She could hear Tamlin’s sigh of relief and his agreement from across the room. More voices swam in and out. She could make out Azriel’s voice there, too.
“...But it was the power of my siphons. I would recognize it anywhere. She used it after I helped her up.”
A voice she didn’t recognize. “How is that possible, Az? That’s not something you’ve ever seen, is it?”
Tamlin’s voice responded, tight with irritation. “The claws came out after I grabbed her arms to hold her up. It’s almost like the panic kick-started it. I don’t think she had any idea…”
Penny cracked an eye open and immediately groaned, though the only light in the room came from a few solitary candles. It had been at least six hours since she’d passed out, then, if night had already fallen. When she cracked open her eyes and turned, she was greeted with the sight of Tamlin rushing over to her bedside to grab her hand.
“Hi. Penny, hi.” He sounded breathless as he pressed her knuckles to his lips in a surprisingly intimate gesture that took the breath straight from her chest. He brushed her hair off her forehead, and if she hadn’t felt woozy before, this surely wasn’t helping.
“Hi,” she croaked out. “Is everyone okay?” He grabbed a pitcher of water and a cup from the bedside, poured it, and held it to her lips. Penny struggled to lift her head, but thought it might be the best water she’d ever tasted. She laid her head back down and looked back to Tamlin, the worry still etched across his face.
“Everyone is fine. You used some new magic, and then had a panic attack. We brought you back to the manor. This is Madja. She came from the Night Court to make sure everything was okay.” An older woman with lines carved into her beautiful bronze skin smiled in a way that could only be described as motherly, and Penny’s heart momentarily clenched. Madja sat on the bed, hovering her hands over Penny, and asked “May I?”
Penny nodded, and Madja’s hands began to glow. She ran them up and down, inches above Penny’s body, a feeling like warm water coursing through her. A soft light reflected down from her hands into Penny’s body, but it felt lovely and kind, leaving her with a sense of safety and comfort.
“Everything appears fine. Your arm should be entirely healed by tomorrow. I want you to rest for the remainder of tonight, then take it easy tomorrow. No more backyard battles for a while, hm?”
Penny nodded. “I’ll tell all the terrible ghoulies in the forest that I’m on strict bed rest for the foreseeable future.” Madja smiled at her, and Penny heard chuckles from over by the windows.
It was then she took notice of the owners of the other two voices she’d heard before. Azriel stood near the door with someone who looked incredibly similar to him, save for the missing shadows and violet eyes.
She turned her eyes to Tamlin in shock, not believing for a second he’d let Rhysand inside his home. But Tamlin was only looking at her, relief shining through his eyes so clearly that she would have stumbled if she’d been standing. He pressed his forehead to her hand and closed his eyes.
“I was so worried about you.” He whispered, low enough that it was barely audible. Azriel and Rhysand shared a look with each other before Rhysand cleared his throat. Tamlin’s eyes shot open with an ire that could have killed a lesser being.
“Do you need something, Rhysand?” He snarled through clenched teeth without looking back at the men behind him. Rhys smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets and stepping forward.
“Now, now, Tamlin. No need to get testy. I brought Madja to help, and now I just want to get to know your guest. Penny, is it?” She could tell Tamlin was using every ounce of willpower to not turn and throw him out of the house himself. She pulled herself up to sit against the headboard, a little embarrassed to see she was still wearing her crumpled tunic and pants from earlier, but relieved that no one had tried to change her, either.
“Yes, I’m Penny. Thank you for bringing Madja.” She turned to Madja, who was cleaning up her supplies. “And thank you for taking such good care of me. I will not forget your kindness. Please, if you haven’t already, help yourself to the kitchens. I know it’s late and the staff might have already gone home, but anything you please in there, you’re welcome to.”
She saw Madja and Tamlin both smile. “The High Lord already offered me a delicious dinner.” She shot a look back at Rhys. “We may need to borrow the recipe for that hazelnut cake for the Night Court.”
She finished packing up, and left the room with a look towards Rhys that said you’re treading thin ice. Azriel chuckled under his breath. “I assume, if you’re here, Lucien and Azriel have told you everything you need to know about who I am and what I know.”
“Yes. I am aware of the circumstances. I was hoping that perhaps we could talk.” He said, lightly. She looked to Tamlin, who was intentionally looking at the wall away from Rhys, grinding his teeth, but still holding her hand in his. It was warm against her skin, his fingers clutching hers in a way that left warmth curled up in the cavern of her chest like a sleeping cat. The calluses on his skin pressed against the pads of her fingers and sent a subtle thrill skittering down her spine, leaving goosebumps peppering her forearms. She could feel relief, and fear, and hope, and frustration. She wished he would hold her hand, among other things, like this more often.
A chuckle brought her out of her reverie and her eyes shot up to Rhys, who was looking at her, amused with lifted brows. It occurred to her then that he was, in fact, someone who could read minds, and her cheeks flushed. “Get out of my head, Rhysand, or you can get out of this house,” she all but growled at him.
The amusement in his eyes didn’t fade, but he held his hands up in a gesture of peace. “It was not intentional, my lady. You were shouting your thoughts loudly enough that I didn’t have much of a choice,” he said with a laugh. “On that subject, though, I was hoping that you might let me look and see what you know. It might be easier and more efficient than us trying to ask questions and trade information back and forth.”
Penny was opening her mouth to agree that that probably was the better course of action when Tamlin sprung up from next to the bed and whirled on Rhys. She felt the response to his power rise in her veins like a tidal wave, her power writhing in her and pulling like a beast on a chain to rise with it. The pain in her head was sharp, and she choked the magic back down.
“She has just been attacked,” he roared across the room. “You’ll stay the fuck out of her head until she recovers and gives you explicit permission. Am I clear?” Penny moved to grab Tamlin’s clenched fist from the bed.
“It’s alright, Tamlin. I do want to help, but perhaps we could do this in a few days? I am incredibly tired, and Madja did tell me to rest.” She smiled innocently up at them. After a deep breath, Tamlin turned back to sit on the side of the bed again, unfurling his clenched fist and winding his fingers back around her own. Another shared look between Rhys and Azriel didn’t escape Penny’s notice.
“Of course, Penny. We’ll come back in a few days. We appreciate your willingness to help.” With a short incline of his chin and a smug grin, he and Azriel stepped out of the room, and Tamlin’s entire body relaxed.
She released his hand, but scooted back over on the bed, patting the spot where she’d been when he raised his head to look at her. He pulled himself up, untied his boots and took them off, then climbed to sit next to her, leaning back against the headboard. She found herself immediately missing the warm comfort of his hand. She took him in–he looked as rumpled as she did. His shirt was wrinkled as though he hadn’t left her bedside in the hours they’d been here, his hair mussed like he’d been running his hands through it. He spoke without opening his eyes.
“I was so scared when I rode up to you fighting them today. I was terrified I would be too late. But you…you were incredible. I have never seen anything like what you did today, Penny.” Without another word, he moved so that their shoulders were touching, and he pulled her hand back into his. Butterflies erupted in her chest and stomach, and she closed her eyes and pressed her lips together to keep a giggle from bubbling out of her throat.
“I was scared, too.” She admitted. “Seeing them trying to hurt you…I have never felt terror and rage like that. I was scared I wouldn’t be able to help you. That I'd gotten into this mess and that you would die because of me.” He lifted her hand to his mouth again and placed the gentlest of kisses against the back of her hand. A shudder went through her body at the touch, and she knew there was absolutely no way he didn’t notice.
“Thank you for listening to me. Trusting me. Knowing your history with them, you have no idea what it means to me that you are still choosing to take my side and let me make my own choices.” She felt him exhale a deep breath. “I know it wasn’t easy for you to have them here, in the manor.”
“Penny, I don’t think you understand the lengths I would go to to make you happy.” Her breath caught in her throat, and she dared a look over at him. His head was tipped back against the headboard, but now his eyes were focused solely on her. The absolute devotion in them was enough to undo her entirely. “It isn’t easy, and it never will be to trust them. But I trust you. You make me want to be different–to be better. I can’t make you trust me, and I won’t make you stay. But I would like for you to. I would like it if you'd consider this your home.”
She took a deep breath, remembering the sour regret she’d felt burning through her more than once today, and decided to make the jump. “What if I told you that I was the most afraid that I would die in this world without ever having kissed you?” she breathed out. His eyes widened, but before he could stop himself or she could second guess, his hand was at her jaw tipping her face up to meet his.
“Thank the gods.” He whispered, closing the space between them.
With his thumb along her cheek, he brushed his lips against hers in the lightest caress, and Penny thought someone might as well have been setting off explosives for the shock of electricity that she felt rip through her. She leaned in and let his hand slide to gather the hair at the back of her neck as she deepened the kiss.
It felt like every cliché movie she’d watched and book she’d read. Symphonies could have been going in the background as her tongue glided along the seam of his mouth and he opened for her. She shifted her body towards him, her hand dancing lightly along his collar, serving to anchor her to this earth. She thought that maybe nothing had ever felt so perfect, so right, until this moment.
They pulled apart to breathe, and he pressed a firm kiss to her forehead. “You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that,” he chuckled. She couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled from her throat this time.
“All this time I’ve been so afraid to ruin this. I should have kissed you before a near-fatal situation.” They pressed their foreheads together as they laughed and shared breath.
“Stay with me tonight? I don’t want to sleep alone,” she asked, grabbing his hand to pull around her waist as she lowered herself down into the bed.
“I will stay with you as long as you want me, Penelope Briggs.” He murmured back, turning to blow out the candle and curling into the space behind her back as though he’d belonged there all along.
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In the morning, Penny woke to the most delicious warmth she’d ever felt. It was as though she’d been cocooned in the glow of the sun. She felt well-rested in a way that she hadn’t in maybe years, her body coming awake without hesitation. She could hear the gentle drumming of a heartbeat, and each pulse echoed and danced with her own. Without opening her eyes, she smiled, remembering that she’d asked Tamlin to stay with her, and he had obliged.
In the night, she’d rolled to press her face against his chest, the muslin of his tunic bunched beneath her cheek, surely leaving lines in her skin. She couldn’t bring herself to care. He smelled like the forest after rain, like the first, earthen blooms of spring. He smelled like the days after a long winter when she would stay out from dawn to dusk, until her parents all but begged her to come back inside. He smelled like home.
“Are you just going to sniff me all day, Sunshine?” He asked, and his voice, rough with sleep, shot a curl of arousal all the way down to her toes.
“I am not sniffing you, stupid. I am breathing slowly and waking up peacefully. Or, I was, until you opened your big mouth,” she said with a smile. He chuckled in response, craning his head to place the softest kiss on her crown of her head. “You stayed with me.”
“You asked me to.” He responded, as if it were the most simple thing in the world.
“Thank you.” She turned to place a kiss on his chest as she sat up, stretching. “I don’t feel injured at all, really. My arm is a little tender, but nothing like I was expecting.” Tamlin sat up too, rubbing a hand over his face.
“Not that we spent a lot of time leisurely catching up, but Rhysand seems to think that you’re immortal. Not quite fae, but definitely not human. You heal like we do. And you wielded Azriel’s powers, then mine.”
“I suppose that’s something we’ll need to address.” She was interested to learn more, but the thought of the previous afternoon and the stress of seeing the man she cared about in danger had her absolutely reeling and exhausted again. She dramatically flopped back against the bed, landing with her head by his lap. “Can’t we just stay here?”
He leaned down to kiss her gently on the lips. The kiss was sweet, but the words he whispered in her ear were not. “I can think of a great many things we could do if we stayed here.” Penny blushed about ten shades of red as Tamlin rose from the bed. “Come on and get dressed. Let’s get something to eat and we can see what your magic can do.” He winked at her before he exited the room and closed the door behind him.
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After plying her full of food and ensuring repeatedly that she wasn’t going to collapse, Tamlin and Penny went out to the hills beyond the garden to see if she could use her magic again. After the previous night, something vital had shifted between them. Every touch brought what felt like literal sparks between them, every too-long glance had the breath burning through Penny’s lungs. When he grabbed her hand to see if she could harness his magic, she never wanted him to let go.
Penny was having trouble focusing long enough to make anything happen. Since she’d already made shifting happen once, they tried to start there, but simply willing it into existence wasn’t working for her like it had when she’d tried with the candle.
“Try thinking of yourself. Visualize how you look in your body right now. Now take that image and change something small about it. Really just focus on that one small change.” Penny thought about turning her hair blonde like Tamlin’s since she could visualize it easily, especially since tangling her hands through his hair had been on her mind all morning.
She could hear Tamlin cackling before he croaked out “What on earth were you imagining?” She cracked an eye open long enough to see her hair was falling in a tangled mass above her eyes. Fantastic. She flopped down to sit on the ground dramatically with a great huff of breath.
“This is a lot harder than it was yesterday.”
“Well, you were under massive amounts of stress yesterday. Big emotions can bring heavy magic out of us, but it’s not controlled or safe. You can’t rely on big bursts of emotions to use your magic, or you’ll always be out of control with it. Trust me, because I did this for far too long and it only served to ruin my life and hurt those around me. You must learn to operate your magic outside of your emotional response, or you’ll never have a handle on it.” Penny nodded resolutely, hearing the message he was allowing himself to be vulnerable and covey, and tried again.
She opened her eyes to his beautiful smile through a sheet of purple hair falling over her eyes. “I did it!” She screamed.
“You did it,” he echoed, kissing her again on the brow. “Soon, this will be second nature, and you’ll be able to shift larger aspects of yourself. I’m not sure how much power you borrow when you do this, but I don’t feel depleted at all. I will be curious to see how much you get and how far you can extend it.”
“Will you train me?” She asked, hopeful he would be willing to keep doing this. She trusted him, and this felt like something where trust was paramount to success. Plus, he knew what he was doing, and it didn’t hurt that she already enjoyed spending time with him. “I know you’re busy, and I know that you’re already helpful me with training, but–”
“Of course, Penny.” He must have noted the surprise on her face, because he walked over to grab her hands. She looked up to him, feeling again like she might run the risk of getting distracted by the colors of his eyes. “I don’t ever want you to be in a situation again where you feel you can’t defend yourself. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn’t happen. And I would love to train you. Gives me an excuse to spend more time with you.” She noted the gleam in his eyes a second before he reached out and hauled her over his shoulder as she shrieked.
“Put me down, you great beast!” She cackled, as he began walking them back towards the house. She half-heartedly whacked her fists against his back while he chuckled.
“I’m sorry, what?” He yelled, pretending to cup his ear. “I can’t hear you from all the way up here, you’ll have to speak–” His whole body tensed as they rounded the corner of the front of the manor.
One face, lilted with unhidden amusement, and three others, absolutely mired with shock. Lucien, Azriel, and Rhysand had come back, and they’d brought Cassian with them.
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vampppeach · 5 days ago
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✿ ➜ Dream of Scarlet Sun — Pilot Chapter
Language: English
Words: 1,668
Story Synopsis: Eira is the daughter of Sunsbury's president and she unexpectedly went missing, only to meet what appears to be an angel.
Note: There's much more to the actual plot of this but Dream of Scarlet Sun isn't my main focus right now (since im focused on writting The Gift) so it might have to wait for a bit but i do have interest in continuing it. I decided to post the pilot because it took me a lot of effort and id like to share with more people.
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Wake up, go to work, come back home without a worry in the world, be detached from consequences and actions, and live automatically. I may not be the best at my job and I may not have the most friends there, but I still attend, never missing a day. It's not like I'm dedicated either, this office job isn't my goal, nothing is, and not even I can tell why I'm so punctual, maybe it's just easier like this, to conform.
In more than one way, I am a waste of money, waste of time, I should enjoy getting to work at my dad's company, many people dream of having this life, so why do i feel so hollow? How many times have I excused myself from work by rushing into the bathroom to cry? I don't know how the future will be, I don't have any skills or aspirations, and I'm not sure of anything at all, still, I walk forward, too afraid to turn back and defy my father, too afraid to look back and see something I don't like.
With my phone in my hands, I see no notifications, no tasks from work, no one to talk to, I guess that without people, all I'm left with is peace, a peace so quiet, so dull that slowly drains the life out of me. Putting it away, I try to sleep through the silent night, but the fridge buzz keeps me awake. Facing the wall, the concrete texture blurs, and with a closed throat I realize squinting my eyes won't stop the tears from running down my face.
Tomorrow won't be different, it never is. Nothing changes, I never change, and I'm aware of it. Curling into a ball, I'm reminded of the nights I blacked out like this, sobbing to sleep, a hand of mine reaching a lock of my hair to mimic caress, but the muffled sound of my voice following drowning me. I'm not enough, I need change, I need something different, something new.
Snatching the keys from my purse, my mind went blank and before I knew it, I was driving mindlessly with no destination, no direction, just forwards. For a moment, I saw no path behind me, in my trail there was only road after road ahead. Couldn't look back, and even if I did, the darkness of the night had already consumed what was past, the headlights being my only guide, showing me the way.
Soon, the dead trees parted before my eyes, opening the horizon and revealing a starry sky from behind its dry branches, reaching for the moon like thin hands, attempting to grasp its light, unreachable, far away from their dark claws. I found myself at the coastline, boat boarding and unloading point, sparsely habited. Alone, I parked my car near the pier, stepping out to hear the hissing of cold, dark waters, brushing over the sand idly.
It was so dark all I could see was the city at the end of the horizon, far, far away with stars adorning the black pitch above it. Looking up, the moon smiled at me, inviting me for an embrace, to wipe away the tears from my semi-dry cheeks. So beautiful, yet so distant, while on this earth I'll never be as bright as mother Moon whose purpose is known and takes care of the job splendidly.
Smiling back, I accepted her embrace, my black heels clicking over the creaking old wood beneath me, my head facing upwards. The moon in the sky was just too far away, but if I dived right into her cradling arms, her reflection would bring me as close as I could get. To be shiny and seen, watching it all from away, pretty and painless, it's all I desire.
Staring up at me was a bottomless pit, it called me. Her smile was distorted by the light breeze that messed my hair bun and reminded me of my wet cheeks, gapping my wounds again. My eyes drip into the sea, the salty tears becoming one with the ocean and beckoning the cells in my body to join them. Frozen in place, I saw the reflection of a hopeless one with a whole life ahead of her wavering, pondering if she chose the right option. If it were anyone else, I wouldn't want them to dive, id want them to find happiness in life, with a single step back I pulled the sad girl away from her death.
— What are you doing, miss? — With hesitance, a breach bloomed in the moment, the quietude interrupted by the voice of a woman... No, of a man. The tone, soft and tender, made my head turn. Just the sight of Him made my eyes wide, the tallest man I've ever seen, dressed in all white, as pale as can be.
My body trembled, tangled in emotions and thoughts then pulling me down like roots, I fell to my knees but He was right there to catch me, holding me in His arms. The warmth of His body, the gentle grin, made me tear up, sobbing as I brought my hands closer to my face.
— I-I don't know... — I cried, hurt and afraid cradled in the arms of a stranger with a white rose crown, never once opening His eyes. His white hand wiped away the tears that flowed down to my chin, He tilted my head to face Him with the tip of his finger. — You were about to jump into those dark waters. Do you want to talk about it? —
While he tucked the curly hair out of my face I couldn't help but tear up again. — I don't know what to do... I-I think I'm doing something wrong...! — In a cracking voice, I brought both hands closer to my face, trying to hide the embarrassing expression and tears of shame.
— So you've decided that's where your life ends? At an empty, cold beach? I can tell you are lonely, and I can tell you are afraid... That's not where you want to end, Miss Eira. — Holding my wrists, He pulled the hands away from my face, all I could see was that mysterious man's smile. — You deserve more than a life of fear and uncertainty. —
Is it true? Do I deserve better? I'm unsure, I always am. Suddenly the silence of the waves blessed our ears again, this time, the darkness surrounding me became familiar and safe, I had now found light. With tears streaming down my face, I couldn't make a sound, looking into the distance the realization finally hit me. What am I doing with myself?
Crouching at the edge of the pier, He held me carefully, laying me in his arms. — Before meeting light, you must meet darkness. Close your eyes and hold your breath. — I obliged and he laid me above the water, slowly immersing me in. Gradually relaxing after the initial shock of cold water hitting me, His hands let go, and I sank in. Drowning wasn't scary, not to me, it felt like being held once again, like being in His arms.
Morning that same day, the rising sun above Sunsbury, lit up the scenery of a lively garden. Bushes of green, white and red surrounding the black metal bistro table and chair set, beautifully arranged, and yet, stealing the landscape, an old pale man sat, looking fowards. Contrasting colorless, the long wrinkled fingers traced over pieces of an unfinished puzzle, it's white eyes could not see the image, but through palms he felt the shapes, envisioning the object in mind.
Interrupting the silence, a much proper young man dressed in a similar suit walked up to him, carrying a folder between index and thumb and extending it to the other. — Mr. Wolf, your daughter has been reported missing. She was last seen leaving her apartment around 10PM. — swatting the hand away, he didn't even bother to change expressions. — Im busy, come to me when i am not. —
— ...Respectfully, I believe this case is much more urgent than your game. Your daughter could be in great danger sir.—
He did not blink, not even a singular wrinkle motioned towards a change of emotion, Bouchard Wolf sat there, unfazed. — ...Reinforce the security of my apartment. If those criminals wanted to get to me, they shouldn't have come for Eira. — he placed another piece on the puzzle, done speaking. The lack of care about her current situation made Santiago's blood boil, he held back many insults, but the hatred was clear in his voice.
— GPASS is investigating the case. The circumstances of this disappearance seem supernatural, but our team will work through it. — Government Protective Services Against the Supernatural, is such a unique and long name. It's a useless organization, at least to Buchard, all it does is drain money from him since they barely got any supernatural activity after the incident. The thought left a bitter taste in Mr. Wolf's mouth, he did not respond.— ...I'll keep you updated through emails. —
Turning around in disappointment, Santiago was ready to exit that awkward scenario but was interrupted by Bouchard's voice. — Before you go, tell me, what is the picture of the puzzle? — facing back, he looked down at the garden table, noticing the pieces that were put together. A sheep standing over some sort of brown box, bleeding onto a chalice and surrounded by people and angels.
Santiago looked into the sheep's eyes, seeing humanity in its gaze. The artist seems to have little knowledge of drawing animals, the face was uncanny. Looking back at Bouchard, he mumbled quietly. — ...A lamb. It's a picture of a lamb. — a description so shallow that stripped the painting of its meaning, but was enough to make an old man smile. — Ah, yes. This one was my favorite one. — He spoke to himself, his eyes unable to realize Santiago had left him alone in the garden to go back to his shift.
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jodilin65 · 9 months ago
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Feeling the best I’ve felt since I first got sick although I still have fatigue. It’s hard to say whether the fatigue is post-recovery or just the way I usually am. I still think my TSH has risen but now that I’m back on the vitamin D every few days, that should help. I feel chilled at times but Tom thinks it’s just because it takes longer than you realize to fully recover. But this is the least nauseous I’ve been since getting sick so I’m glad for that much. My hair and skin are dry but if my TSH is that high, it wouldn’t explain why my weight is still down. I think my weight will be going back up soon, though.
Best of all, I’m now pretty sure that I didn’t get a UTI. I think that because I took a little break from my probiotics and lady lube while sick that’s why I started feeling a burning sensation again. Either that or the one Nitrofurantoin I took last night was one seriously powerful pill along with the cranberry juice I’ve been drinking. I’ll know soon enough because if it flares back up, then that will make me think some things up.
I messaged Rhonda about it and the message wasn’t picked up until this afternoon. I then sent a second message asking that she cancel the antibiotic request and explained that I don’t think I have a UTI after all but if the symptoms return I’ll do an urgent video appointment.
More good news. I haven’t had to sleep with the nasal dilator and I haven’t snored in a while so I think the problem was the blood pressure medicine. Also, when I took my blood pressure earlier, it was 113/73, so I don’t think I really need to try anything else. As long as I watch what I eat I should be okay.
Even more good news. Yes, I have a few good things which is great. The only negative is my fatigue. The dishwasher is fixed and Tom was in and out of the plasma place in under an hour. We’ve also been making decent money online. Not move-to-Hawaii kind of decent but still decent. I even splurged on a small Temu order and got $33 worth of stuff that would have normally cost about $100 elsewhere. I got a couple of figurines, lip gloss, a 6-pack of G-strings, and another sticker to decorate the toilet seat with. Pictures will eventually show up on my secondary Facebook account. Just not of me wearing the G-strings of course. LOL.
One figurine is a fairy that sits on the edge of a shelf, windowsill, table, or wherever you want to put her. The other is a German shepherd and while I may not be a dog fan, it seems to be a really nice and realistic sculpture.
The good news still goes on…although it’s delayed a month, I got a call from my ENT’s office saying that the doctor will be in surgery during my appointment and it was bumped up to late April at a time that fits into my schedule much better. So now I don’t have to stress over that.
And the last bit of good news is that the honker’s company left. Seems that way anyway. Tomorrow I’ll take a chance when I crash and not blast the sound machine so loud and hope he stays off the motorcycle. There shouldn’t be any thunderstorms to worry about but I’d rather Mother Nature than human assholes.
Saw a crime documentary about a guy in the UK who went down for 8 years for cyberstalking people for years. They talked about his childhood, how he didn’t know he was autistic at the time, how he felt bullied and alienated, and how many (not all) are a problem in society and use their autism as an excuse to give people so much grief. I know not all of them are trouble but I think that many of them know exactly what they’re doing but instead of doing something to better themselves, they use their condition as a ticket to act out. And OMG, the inappropriately intense emotions and paranoia! It seems that where most people would get moderately upset over something more serious, these people will go ballistic over next to nothing.
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lilpunkrock · 2 years ago
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where you go (i will go) — iv
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Summary: A visit to the Dreaming brings about new revelations and confrontations.
Pairing: Dream of the Endless x f!reader
Words: 5.5k+
AN: Originally posted to my other account, @alittlepunkrock, I'm now uploading this to my second blog because my main is having some issues. RIP. I've mapped this story out to be a good 15-20 parts, so I hope you all will come along on this journey with me! Thanks so much - part v will be up soon!
series masterlist // mood board // ao3
. . .
“I flew solo most of the way,
Until you popped up and got in the way;
And I mean that line in a good way.”
    - hazel inside, blackbear
. . .
Part iv
“Let go,” he growls, pressing down on your throat harder. The hot tears clouding your vision are growing dark and blurry, the room around you dimming in spite of the smoldering fire beside you. You blink, trying to clear them away, but they don’t leave this time around. They persist, crawling inward, inching over your sight. The anxiety in your chest rises to a new pitch. You feel your body try to hyperventilate, only to choke on the emptiness in your lungs.
Something at the edge of your awareness calls to you, encourages you to do as he says and just let go. The rest of you bucks and rebels against it, fighting tooth and nail to hold on. Even in this moment, in spite of all that’s happening, you’re not ready to go. Not ready to leave him. You had so much to look forward to, so many plans. So much love to give. You were ready to give him it all.  It was all happening tomorrow.
The chaos in your chest reaches a fever pitch. Your heart hollows out at the thought that there will be no tomorrow for you.
As darkness envelopes what’s left of your vision, you feel his hot breath on your face one last time. “I don’t want you anymore.”
. . .
When mortals think of heartbreak, their minds typically turn to thoughts of star-crossed lovers, of loved ones lost, of relationships ended on bitter terms. As you creep through the small motel room you’ve found yourself in, tip-toeing around empty liquor bottles and haphazardly tossed cigarette butts toward the sleeping figure in front of you, you understand that heartbreak comes in many forms. You see it in the way the man sleeps slumped over in his chair, his hair unkempt, skin pale and sweaty, face covered in a gritty stubble. You feel the heartbreak in the way his fingers twitch for drink, seeking the comfort of a glass bottle even in slumber. Heartbreak is the fact that he sits in this dark motel room alone, though you can see a picture of himself, a kind-faced woman, and two young boys glowing on his phone’s lock screen. They looked happy.
Your eyes settle on the withering white, red, green, and orange attachments trailing from his heart, across the litter-strewn floor, under the motel door, and out into the night. A pale halo of blue philautia stutters around him. The solid black thread pulsing out of his chest is darker than all the shadows in the room.
Your heart sours at the sight. Ever since your assignments had been dropped at your door at midnight, you’d been flitting across the globe, trying to finish your daily duties before sunrise. Today was the day Matthew was to take you to see Morpheus in the Dreaming, and you wanted to be ready for him. The sight of the black attachment makes you all the more eager for your visit with the Dream Lord.
“Come here,” you whisper as you take the pale philia, eros, storge, and pragma threads in your hands. You hold them gently as you take a moment to ponder your choice of action. “When you wake, call your wife and sons. Be honest with them. Your wife has already found the help you need, but she’s waiting for you to love yourself enough to take it.” You pause, wetting your dry lips. Your fingers shift to trail over the weak glow of philautia surrounding him. “You may not feel you’re worthy of love. I know. But you are. You don’t have to do this alone. Accept the love they have for you. Let it sow the seed for you to love yourself again.”
As your voice trails away, the rainbow of attachments solidify and shine. The black thread remains, but seems less daunting when surrounded by a halo of radiant colors. You smile softly, pleased with your work. In the back of your mind, though, you fear it won’t be enough. What if Desire’s attachment overcomes what you’ve done?
Staring at the black thread before you, an unsettling air creeps through the room. The back of your neck prickles, hairs rising as you get the eerily distinct feeling that you and the mortal are not alone. That you’re being watched.
You spin around hastily, eyes sweeping the shadows of the room. But nothing, or no one, is there. You jump slightly at a low rumble arising beside you, only to exhale in relief when you realize the man has begun to snore quietly. With a shake of your head, you glance over the room again. Though no one else is here, you still can’t deny what your body is feeling. The sense that something is wrong.
With a run of your fingertips over the next set of names on your list, you slip into a new part of the world. The sensation slips away with it.
. . .
“Hey, uh, Lady Love? It’s me, Matthew. Remember, the talking raven? Can you let me in, please?”
“Matthew!” you exclaim with a grin. At the sound of his sharp beak tapping on your kitchen window, you toss your fantasy novel aside and jump out of your chair. Always eager to be part of the action, Theo slips between your feet as you hustle to the window. With an appropriate “Oh shit–,” you stumble forward, narrowly catching yourself on the kitchen window sill. Matthew’s large, dark eyes blink at you in surprise. With a laugh, you open the window, righting yourself as the messenger raven steps inside. “Sorry about that. Guess I should have left the window open for you, shouldn’t I?”
Matthew ruffles his feathers, stretching his wings after the long journey. You note that a new pouch of sand is tied to his leg. “Oh no, you’re fine. Honestly, I’m just glad you were awake. I told the boss– or, uh, Lord Morpheus that you might still be resting. It’s pretty early.”
Your eyes slide over to the clock on your stove, noting the time there. He’s right – it’s just barely past six in the morning, but you’d been up for hours. You were sure you’d never finished your daily assignments as fast as you had today. And without coffee, no less. It really was a shame Cliff didn’t open until seven.
As you finish setting up Theo’s food, water, and toys for the day, you make idle conversation. “So, ‘Dream?’ ‘Boss?’ That’s some friendly language. You and Dream Lord must be pretty close.”
Matthew’s dark beak inclines slightly, his inky chest feathers fluffing with pride. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. I mean, like I said, I’m basically his best friend. Besides Loosh. Funny, when I first came along, he didn’t even want me around.”
You give Matthew a friendly grin as you finish lacing your canvas sneakers. ‘“Sometimes the people we don’t expect to need are the ones who become the most important to us.”
Matthew seems to cock his feathered head in contemplation. You extend your arm to him, and he hops on with a flutter. “Huh. You know, I like that. That’s pretty good. The next time he tells me he can handle something himself, I’ll be sure to use that one.” Your laugh rings through your quiet townhome, and Matthew ruffles his wings appreciatively. “Are you ready?” he asks.
“Yes,” you breathe. You’d be lying if you said that your trip to the Dreaming wasn’t all you’d been thinking of for the past two days. Not only were you eager to get onto your partnership with the Dream Lord for the sake of your Realm, you were incredibly curious to see his work crafting dreams and nightmares. How did one create something so intimate, so unique to each individual, so limitless? Maybe you’d end the day with a better idea of what was going on in that tousled head of his.
“Alright, then. Matthew, Grand Messenger Raven of Dream of the Endless, first class provider of transportation, at your service.” With a caw, Matthew dips his head and snips the sand pouch on his leg with a flourish. Sand spills to your feet, settling for only a moment before it jumps to life. The vortex that forms around you is becoming more familiar, the fierce winds that whip around you less startling than your first go around. In spite of this, you still find yourself closing your eyes when the sand starts to skim your cheeks.
When the winds have died and you hear the sand whisper against the floor, you open your eyes to find yourself in the Library of Dreams. Though you’ve seen it before, its majesty is not lost on you. A slow smile warms your face as you turn in a slow circle, drinking in the sight. “This place is incredible,” you murmur.
Matthew hops from your arm to perch on a tall stack of books sitting on one of the tables. “Yeah, I guess it is pretty awesome if you like books and all. Which, by the look on your face, I’m guessing you do. I wasn’t much of a reader in my life as a human, but I’m gaining a better appreciation for them now,” Matthew says. Though his face gives nothing away, you can hear the grin in his voice. The sound of soft footsteps sound behind you, and Matthew’s attention flicks that way. “Hey, Loosh!”
You spin to find Lucienne emerging from one of the breaks in bookshelves behind you. Each room is filled with so many books that the spaces between the shelves are almost camouflaged. Her dark eyes smile as they land on you. “Ah, Miss Love. Welcome back to the Dreaming.” Her dark lips pull upwards, her expression open and kind. “I trust your journey went smoothly?”
“Oh, yes. Matthew is an excellent escort. And I’m getting used to all the sand.”
“I’m quite glad to hear that. Such an acclimation will serve you well here.” You chuckle softly, watching as she places a fresh stack of books on the table beside you. “Lord Morpheus is attending to some business with Mervyn, the palace’s custodian. One of our resident dreams, Fashion Thing, appears to have spilled a blood and perrier cocktail in the main hall. Quite the mess.” She shakes her head tenderly, obviously amused. “He should be finished shortly. Perhaps you’d like to peruse my library in the meantime?”
The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them. “Oh, absolutely.” Lucienne smiles widely, a glimpse of bright white teeth peeking through her lips. “Matthew, please inform Lord Morpheus of Miss Love’s arrival,” she requests. At her instruction, Matthew caws a, “Yes, ma’am!” and takes flight toward the colossal stained-glass doors at the end of the long hall. Meanwhile, Lucienne beckons you farther into the library, away from the throne room.
“As I informed you at your last visit, this is the Library of Dreams. The dreams and events of every human life reside here, as well as the stories they invent, published and unpublished,” Lucienne explains, her bespectacled eyes drifting over the bookshelves with adoration. “I am the keeper of them all. The entire library is organized by century and alphabetically by last name. It makes it quite easy for myself, Lord Morpheus, and any other guest to find whatever record they like.”
You nod, lips parted in awe as your gaze moves from the stories of floors above you to the long bookshelf beside you. At the top of the shelf, you find an iron signpost reading “1500s - S.” Within moments, your eyes land on the book you’re looking for, the name embossed on the thick spine in gold lettering: William Shakespeare. “Shakespeare,” you murmur, fingers slipping the book from its shelf and thumbing through the pages. “Now, this guy and I have been through some times together. He made my job easy in some ways.” You laugh, eyes drifting over the countless thoughts, stories, and dreams recorded in Shakespeare’s book. “And maybe harder in some others.”
“Oh, yes. Lord Morpheus paid a special visit to Shakespeare in his youth, inspiring two plays in particular. Lord Morpheus has been instrumental in the inspiration and success of playwrights, composers, writers, and other dreamers all throughout history.”
A small smile graces your lips as your fingers close Shakespeare’s record gently. Your mind ponders all the artists that you yourself have encountered throughout the years, so many of them inspired by love, both reciprocated and unrequited. Bach, Mozart, Austen, Goethe, and so many more. Perhaps you and the Dream Lord’s paths had crossed more times throughout history than you’d thought.
“As I said, Miss Love, my library holds all records of mortals from the dawn of time. Perhaps you should like to take a trip down memory lane with your own volu–”
“No.” The exclamation is out of your mouth before you can reign it back in. Your eyes snap to Lucienne, register the surprised look on her face. You hastily try to stamp down the rising panic in your chest, to smooth your strained expression into something more neutral. A weak laugh escapes you as you try to play off the outburst. “Ah, sorry, Lucienne, but that won’t be necessary. It’s impossible, in fact. I don’t recall my mortal name. I don’t recall anything about my mortal life, really. I lost all of that when I became what I am today.”
Liar.
Lucienne’s face softens, her dark eyebrows furrowing. “Oh, Miss Love, I’m terribly sorry. I did not mean to overstep–”
You raise your hands hastily, shaking your head. You can’t deny the guilt that gnaws at your heart in the wake of your dishonesty, but you press onward. “No, please don’t apologize. There’s really no need. You didn’t know.”
Just as you’re trying to find some avenue of conversation to change the subject, the towering doors to the throne room slowly creek open. Your attention turns, grasping the distraction like a lifeline. With Matthew perched on one cloaked shoulder, Morpheus sweeps through the doorway, walking past the many reading tables to approach you and Lucienne. As he draws nearer, you can’t help but notice the same distinct feeling you did during your first visit to the Dreaming. A hum against your skin, a whisper in the air, a pull in your chest. Having seen him in the Waking World and the Realm of Attachment now, you realize just how potent his presence is in the Dreaming. Some distant part of your mind absentmindedly wonders if you give off a similar presence in your own Realm.
When he comes to a stop a few steps away, Morpheus dips his head slightly in a polite welcome. “Greetings, Love, Deity of the Realm of Attachment,” he murmurs, his voice a rumbling timber in the expansive library. He lifts his head, blue eyes catching yours. “I trust that Lucienne made for excellent company while you waited.”
You nod earnestly, smiling brightly at Lucienne. Though she returns the gesture, you can still glimpse a lingering apology in her eyes. “Yes, thank you. Lucienne was just showing me around her library. It’s extraordinary.”
“Indeed.” With a gesture of his hand, Matthew lifts off Morpheus’s shoulder to land on a lamp by Lucienne. The Dream Lord takes a step closer to you, his long cloak sweeping the floor near your sneakers. “I regret to interrupt your exploration of the library, but we have much to accomplish before dark. It is time for us to go.”
“Alright, Dream Lord. Lead the way.”
Today, when you catch a glimmer in his eye, you’re not so sure it’s simply a trick of the light. “We shall take a shortcut today,” he says. In a flourish, he grabs the long tail of his black cloak and sweeps it over the two of you. As the fabric flutters around you, a gasp passes over your lips. Because you were right the other day - within the Dream Lord’s cloak lives an endless expanse of cosmos. Stars twinkle all around you in the midst of deep navy, a particularly dark ripple of space snaking through the sky above you. The Milky Way. The constellations glimmering around you feel close enough to touch.
Just as quickly as you found yourself in the midst of a night sky, you find yourself exiting it. As Morpheus’s cloak ripples around you, sunlight pierces through the darkness. When the night scene is swept away, you find yourself standing on the black sandy beaches of the Dreaming. The sky of Dream Country, so bright and blue during your last visit, is softer today. The sun peeks through the thinly overcast sky, casting the clouds in muted shades of warm gold. A gentle breeze slips over the waters surrounding the Dreaming, carrying the refreshing scent of saltwater to your nose.
“This is where you go to craft dreams and nightmares?” you ask, following Morpheus’s dark form as he leads you toward the shoreline. As you approach the water, the black sand becomes speckled with dark beachrock. Its surface is slick and uneven under your canvas sneakers, and you pointedly step around the rocks to keep from falling.
“It is.” Morpheus comes to a stop just before the sand transitions into beachrock entirely. You halt beside him. The waves lap up onto the shore, nearly close enough to lick the tips of your shoes. A glance downward reveals small shells in a variety of hues nestled into the nooks where the sand meets the beachrock, tiny flecks of color amidst the dark. A tan sand crab scuttles out of a pit in the rock, hustling up the beach toward the sand. You smile at the sight. “The solitude permits me to think uninterrupted, and I find that the vastness of the ocean puts me in a productive headspace for crafting.”
You nod thoughtfully as your eyes survey the waters. He’s right – standing here on the edge of everything, anything seems possible. “So, how do you start?”
The Dream Lord remains silent for a moment, his blue eyes trained on the shifting waves before you. Then, he murmurs, “It all starts with an idea.”
You consider making some kind of teasing quip, an “of course it does,” but pause. Instead, you say, “Tell me more.”
Morpheus tucks his chin between the lapels of his cloak, closing his eyes in contemplation. When he speaks, it’s with the voice of something ancient, a tradesman with eons of experience, a master of his craft. An Endless. “It all starts with an idea. What does humanity require? What may the Dreaming offer them? What shall prompt them to thrive, what shall prompt them to learn? Dreams are meant to bestow joy, fantasy, inspiration, and hope. They are a reprieve from the Waking World, a safe haven where weary humans find rest. Nightmares, too, are meant to serve humanity. Their function is to serve as a dark mirror that reflects a dreamer’s greatest fears back at them. Nightmares afford dreamers the opportunity to face these fears in the safety of my Realm, so that they may overcome them.”
You nod, soaking in this information thoughtfully. The idea that nightmares were meant to serve humanity rather than frighten them was something you had never considered before. “Do you create dreams and nightmares for each individual mortal?” you ask.
“On occasion. To do so for each individual human would require a considerable amount of time. More often, I craft a dream or nightmare with a particular function. To take a dreamer back to their childhood, to allow them to fulfill a fantasy…then, my creation may go to the dreamers and fulfill their function whilst tailoring it to that human’s lived experience.”
You mull over his explanation in silence for several minutes. As a deity whose work involves visiting each mortal individually, albeit not every day, you understand firsthand how time-consuming that can be. “Okay, so we’re creating a dream with a blanket purpose that can be individualized to different dreamers. What are you thinking?”
Morpheus raises his head. As a sea breeze ruffles his dark feather-like hair, he opens his eyes and turns to you. “You walk amongst humans daily. I should like your thoughts on the matter. What do you believe would bring them joy, reprieve?”
You blink, surprised. You had expected to be more of a passive observer today than an active participant in Morpheus’s work. Your mind quickly turns to the man from this morning. Fingers twitching for drink in his restless sleep. His family, his joy, ripped away by a vice. He must feel so alone. “Freedom,” you say. “Freedom from the vices and burdens that feed upon them. That impair their ability to be happy.”
“Freedom.” The word sounds foreign on Morpheus’s tongue. “Intriguing. I spoke with someone very recently who wished for the same thing.”
“Did they get it?”
“One might say so. Though not in the way he expected.” Morpheus dips his hand into his cloak pocket, procuring a palmful of sand. “But we shall give the humans what they desire. Freedom.”
He sweeps his arm outward, scattering sand all around you. Rather than dropping to the beach, the sands dance through the air, shifting and shimmering. The world beyond them blurs like a mirage. You blink quickly, disoriented. When you open your eyes, you are no longer standing on the beach. Instead, you’re standing in the center of a lush, rolling meadow in full bloom. Wildflowers form a sea around you, each color of the rainbow represented in a speckled tapestry. The grass stretches as far as you can see, and an endless blue sky yawns above your head. It’s beautiful.
Suddenly, a strong gust of wind whips around you, sending your hair flying in all directions. It whirls around you again and again, giving you only a moment’s reprieve before it spins around you a final time. When it does, it spirals with enough gusto to lift you off your feet. Your laughter is bright and joyful as it rings over the field. Though the wind is a fantastical creature, you don’t find yourself startled or frightened. As it suspends you in the air and twirls you around, it seems almost playful.
At your side, Morpheus seems untouched by the childlike breeze. He lifts one pale hand slowly, palm facing upward. The very air around you seems to hum with life. “Freedom. A world without limitations, without burdens. Where one can feel weightless.” He closes his hand into a fist, then unfurls his fingers and guides his palm outward. Slowly, the scene around you shimmers and shifts. The glimmering sands around you follow Morpheus’s command to drift forward. They dance along his arm, around his fingers, gathering into a humanoid shape in front of you. The soles of your shoes gently return to the ground, burying themselves in beach sand once again as the meadow fades away.
A quiet gasp escapes you as you gaze at the dream taking shape before you. A collection of grass blades and petals flitting around on an invisible breeze, confined in a humanoid shape. You can see dandelion pappus gathering in two curved lines on the being’s face like fair eyelashes resting against a cheek. Chinese silver grass fans down its back like hair. “It’s beautiful,” you whisper.
“It will be some time before she comes to,” Morpheus says at your side. His blue eyes sweep over his creation, giving rapt attention to each detail. For the first time since you met him, there is a glimpse of gentleness on his normally stoic face. “Even dreams require rest.” After a few quiet minutes, he turns to you. “Do you have questions?”
Questions? What a ridiculous thing to ask. Of course you had questions. Your brain feels like a shaken beehive; all chaotic, curious energy with no sense of direction. There is so much that you want to know. The only coherent thought you’re able to form is, “You spend so much time inspiring others. What inspires you?”
Your question gives the Dream Lord pause. He looks down at you in silence. It suddenly occurs to you that maybe, just maybe, no one has ever asked him that question before. What inspires the one who spends all his time inspiring others?
After a long moment, Morpheus turns his gaze back to the dream in front of you. Delicate chaparral currant blooms have gathered to form soft pink lips on her gradually evolving face. “I came into existence with the first being that required rest,” he murmurs quietly. “I understand that without them, I would not have become, and cannot be. One day, when my sister brings this world to its conclusion and rest is no more, I, too, will be no more. Some of my siblings – Desire, Despair – feel that their purpose is to be served while we exist. I recognize that my function is to serve. But although I am Endless, I cannot simply do as I please. The universe craves balance, requires it. As you have a set of scales, I have my own, in a way.” He pauses, pink lips pursing. “There cannot be fantasy without fear. But I have found that both fantasy and fear alike have the capability to transform.”
Your mind races, turning his words over again and again, reading the lines between his sentences. “They gave you your life and function,” you whisper quietly. Your eyes search his face for some vulnerability, some emotion, but find none. “You want to return that gift. You want to serve them by helping them reach their potential.” His lack of response is an answer in its own way.
The two of you stand on the beach in silence for some time, lost in thought. When you finally speak again, the dream before you has sprouted two cirrus cloud wings. “So, what’s next? A nightmare?”
Morpheus gradually draws out of his reverie. “Yes,” he says slowly, voice low. “You were once human. Tell me, what do you fear?”
Though his voice is soft, the question rings loudly in your ears. Your head thrums with the pounding of your heartbeat as you turn your eye inward. Looking within yourself is something you strive not to do, self-reflection something you have pointedly ignored ever since . . . well, ever since everything happened. You had tried, of course, to ask yourself in the aftermath: Why? What could I have done differently? Pain was the only response that had echoed from the depths within you. A solitary existence was, in a way, both the cure and the contagion. Loneliness served as both a coat of armor and an endless provocation to look inward, only to find that which you did not want to see.
Your mind turns to Desire’s opposition, your conditional divinity, all that happened eons ago. You know he expects an answer. You know precisely the one to give. It feels as if there is a vice grip around your throat as you choke out, “Not being enough.”
For several long moments, the Dream Lord is incredibly still. Then, in silence, he raises one hand ever so slightly. The black grains of sand at your feet start to sway and shift, pulling away from you as if answering a silent call. You watch with bated breath as they gather slowly, building upwards into two feet, two legs, a torso, two arms, a face. At first, it’s merely a mask of churning sand. But then, a flash of color – an eye. Your eye.
As you recoil backward, a flash of white teeth gleam through the dark grains before retreating back within them. Other features start to emerge from within the sand; a nose, a cheek, pink lips. Within moments, the being in front of you has transformed its face into a flawless imitation of yours. Something primal within you rears its head in response. The nightmare’s lips draw into a smile, but not a friendly one. There is an unnatural tightness in its lips. This smile is small and cruel.
Morpheus’s words echo in your mind. Their function is to serve as a dark mirror that reflects a dreamer’s greatest fears back at them. Nightmares afford dreamers the opportunity to face these fears in the safety of my Realm, so that they may overcome them.
As you confront your own reflection, you find you only want to run.
. . .
The black sand makes for a soft cushion as you plop down with a long sigh. The beach, teaming throughout the afternoon with dreams and nightmares of all designs and forms, is now empty save for you and the Dream Lord. The dream of freedom that Morpheus created – Fawn, he named her – was the last to depart several minutes ago. Her cirrus cloud wings cut through the night sky like shooting stars as she flew away, off to deliver feelings of giddy weightlessness to the Waking World.
As you peer up at the twinkling blanket of stars above, you can’t help but wish that you’d meet her in your own rest tonight. That you could ride on her playful coattails, soaring through an endless field of green without a care in the world. But dreams and nightmares were not for immortal beings. No, you know what awaits you in your dreamless unconscious tonight. It makes you reluctant to return home, yearning to stay out just a little longer.
Despite your lack of need for sleep, you can’t deny that you do need to rest. A distinct cloud of mental fatigue hangs over your brain after the long day. You turn to Morpheus, who stands still beside you, staring up at the stars. “I can’t imagine being responsible for the dreams and nightmares of all mortals. Not just giving them a place to rest or grow, but crafting ideas to inspire them and help them progress as a society. Spurring the world on through artists, engineers, inventors . . . all of it. It must be incredibly taxing, especially after so many eons.”
Morpheus’s gaze tracks the path of a shooting star streaking overhead. The inky sky is reflected in his eyes, two pools of black with a glimmering star in each. “My function goes beyond dreams and nightmares,” he murmurs. He speaks purposefully, thoughtfully, handling his words with the same care with which he crafts dreams and nightmares. “I contain the entire collective unconscious of the universe. Such a function requires laws, boundaries, structure. To have one being preside over something so incomprehensible without these would result in nothing but chaos. It is a responsibility of considerable weight. One I am well-accustomed to bearing.”
You study him in silence. You can appreciate his dedication to his rules, his structure. You had your own to follow, and you had seen what happened when the boundaries of duties were overstepped, when power was taken advantage of. Rules provided safety, security. In the midst of a turbulent, ever-changing universe, they were reliable.
As you reflect on the day, you’re surprised to find yourself feeling calm and content. You had expected to feel anxious in Morpheus’s presence, to feel inadequate as a mere deity in the presence of an Endless. You’d expected to feel nervous about your next steps. But as you sit here reflecting, feeling the soft grit of the sand beneath your palms, you find that you’re excited about what’s to come.
“Well, perhaps I can help remove a little of that weight. Just a little bit,” you say with a small smile. With a grunt, you rise to your feet and pat the loose sand off your jeans. “So, when would you like to start this new undertaking of ours? I’m ready anytime.”
Morpheus slowly pulls his eyes away from the stars to look at you. He appraises you in silence for a moment, something you’re becoming quite accustomed to. When he raises his chin ever so slightly, your instinct tells you to anticipate a challenge. “Why not tonight?” he asks.
You return the gesture, offering him a bright grin. Grateful for an excuse to not go home yet. To avoid rest for just a little longer. “Why not?” you say. You sweep an arm outward, gaze drifting over the beach, the mountains, the ocean beside you. “Where do you want to start?”
“No, here will not suffice.” Your eyebrows furrow at his words. “For an undertaking such as this, we shall require a concentrated source of power to work from. For this, we must travel to the location where the veil between the Waking World and the Dreaming is at its thinnest.”
You nod slowly in understanding. “Alright, Dream Lord. Lead the way.”
Morpheus’s boots whisper through the dark sands as he steps closer. For the second time today, he sweeps the long tail of his cloak over the two of you.
And in the blink of an eye, you’re gone.
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erodasfishtacos · 4 years ago
Text
Not Your Charity Case
prompt: Harry is a frat boy - who doesn’t need sympathy from anyone. He makes Y/N feel a sense of home when they’re together. But is Harry just like every stereotypical frat boy?
word count: 6.2k 
warnings: minor violence, language, deaf!harry, smutttt
other: when Harry is talking to Y/N or any other characters - it is to be noted that he is signing. When Y/N talks to Harry - she is also always signing
Let me know if you’d want to see anything else from this verse:)
+++
You were rushed - you really shouldn’t stop at the local coffee shop for a sugary, delicious mocha chip frappuccino.
Despite what people say, professors are much more lax and carefree in college.
It was about two weeks into the new semester, - your third here- and the seasons were changing - becoming autumn.
Chilled breezes, falling leaves, and vivid colors of nature made you happy.
When you arrive in line, there are two people ahead of you. A girl currently in front of the cashier and a tall male with a red and black flannel on behind her- typing away on his phone.
When she moves to the left, the broad man steps forward. His snapback facing backwards, brown curls dancing around his neck. You can’t help but notice how tall and lean he is, shoulders broad and straight.
You definitely haven’t seen him before on campus. You’d remember.
From what you can see, he shows the young girl behind the counter the screen of his phone without saying anything at all.
The raven-haired girl’s face pinches in annoyance. “We don’t accept orders like that. You need to tell me what you want.”
You’re a little surprised by both the rude cashier but also the man who doesn’t respond right away.
He attempts to show her his phone again but she shakes her head - annoyed.
You become interested in the situation when I watch him sign, a few gestures before pointing to his ears. In the most obvious form of saying “I can’t hear.”
The clueless girl gives him a blank look, “Listen, there’s a line. I don’t have time for this.”
You hoped you weren’t overstepping your boundaries when you slide up next to him, tapping him on his shoulder to get his attention.
It is a bit startling how gorgeous the boy is. He was tanned with bright green-eyes and a defined jawline that was currently clenched in frustration.
You sign, “What are you trying to order?”
He studies you for a second with hesitance before his long slim fingers begin to move, slowly as if he thinks you may be inexperienced in the form of language.
He replies, “Large coffee with a little cream and two sugars.”
You squeeze in front of him, “It is not only rude but illegal to not serve based on disabilities. Refusing an order from a deaf person isn’t moral or acceptable.”
The girl has enough decency to mumble an apology and turned bright pink, “Sorry, he doesn’t look deaf. “You roll your eyes - how can you tell that someone is deaf based on solely appearance? This girls a fucking idiot, you think.
You repeat his order to her, along with yours - sliding your debit card towards her and give her your name for the order.
The man trails behind you to the small waiting area. “Thank you,” he signs simply. You nod and return the pleasantry. The. hand him his steaming hot coffee.
“Thank you again. I’m going to be late to class, so I have to go,” he tells me, seeming a little out of place signing with a stranger.
“Go ahead, I’ll see you around.” It was the first time in a long time you’ve signed to anyone outside your family.
+++
Sipping your drink as you are only five minutes late and the class hasn’t even started yet. The man you just helped was sat in the back of the classroom, unloading his laptop.
With a little bravery, you wriggle your way through and plop into the wooden chair easily. Letting your backpack fall to the ground. Curly looks over at you with a frown, he signs, “Why are you sitting next to me?”
You blush, “I don’t know? Thought it’d be good to have someone to talk to.”
His hands are tense as he replies, “I’m not a charity case, so you can leave me alone.”
“Never said you were,” you huff when you tell him. Not appreciating how rude he was being. Signing had its own tones and expressions so to speak. For example, when someone is happy their signs and movements are different than when they’re sad or frustrated.
Harry seems to be the latter. You wrestle out your laptop to the PowerPoint that was going to be discussed today in class. You noticed Harry stared very intently at the professor to read his lips and expression.
You was surprised he didn’t have an interpreter with him but you’re sure he got special accommodations elsewhere. Even though that was absolutely none of your business.
His shoulders are tensed and he makes sure your arms don’t brush like you have cooties for the entire two hours. The nameless boy is up and out of his seat as soon as the professor shuts off the projector and turns on the lights - signaling class to be over.
Well fuck him then.
***
You don’t make the mistake to sit next him again. But that doesn’t mean you could ogle his strong muscular back and big hands.
It wasn’t your place to care but you felt twinges in your tummy when you noticed him struggling to keep up with the fast-speed class on certain days.
You were in the large, rustic library that smelled of old books and damp wallpaper. It was dead silent as people furiously studied or worked on papers due.
As you paced the shelves, you could not find the book you needed for your American Literature class. Fuck the Dewey Decimal System.
Part-time uni students probably just stuffed returned books in any open space they saw fit. But you need this book in particular, a discussion board post due by midnight and it was currently eight-thirty. They had ran out of copies at the on-campus bookstore.
After a valiant effort, you trudge up to the checkout counter. A little sign reads, “ring me if no ones here!”
You impatiently ring the silver bell. But no one comes. You give whoever is working a minute or two but nothing. Another ring it is.
Silence. No one. Of fucking course, luck is not on your side tonight.
You dramatically clunk your head onto the high counter top in front of you - groaning at the fact you may fail the assignment.
A tentative pat on your shoulder makes you snap your head up. To see the boy you’ve been constantly avoiding standing behind the checkout desk.
“Are you okay?” He asks. He had a name-tag on - Harry. He honestly looked a bit out of place. Harry appeared to be a frat boy. He was still had a boyish air about him but an intensity that was unmatchable.
He didn’t look like he would work in the library. He looked like...well he looked like he would be a beer pong referee or something.
You couldn’t see below his torso but he had a plain black snapback on and a vintage Elton John concert tee. A cross necklace dangling over the worn shirt.
You smile, embarrassed, but reply, “Just being dramatic. I can’t find a book and I was waiting here.”
There’s mirth in his eyes when he points to the bell,”Did you ring the bell?”
Your brows furrow, “I did.”
“Well I can’t hear it, I’m deaf,” he deadpans with a straight face and a dry sense of humor.
You roll your eyes, laughing nervously, “I didn’t know you were working!”
“What do you need?”
He helps you locate the book in two minutes flat before checking you out and you rushing home to finish the homework.
You felt bad ignoring your little sister’s FaceTime calls but you promised to call her back tomorrow. 
***
Though once again, you hadn’t interacted with Harry since last week - you constantly found yourself studying his stoic profile or fast moving fingers.
You would never befriend Harry because you feel bad for him - like he presumed. You enjoyed American Sign Language and it actually made you feel back at home.
You’re little sister was born completely deaf. She was much younger than you - eight years old. Fifteen years apart to be exact. You learned the language along with her and your parents.
When you were at home and your sister was there - you guys tried to only sign so she didn’t feel left out. So Harry felt like home - a little despite his completely off-putting demeanor. It made you a little bit more persistent than with any other frat boy.
***
The bulletin board in your advisor’s office caught your eyes. None of the little tabs ripped off in interest.
‘Student with ASL experience and above a 3.5 GPA needed for tutoring sessions - twice weekly. $16 dollars an hour.’
After your meeting, you tugged the little scrap of paper off and tuck it into your pocket. You couldn’t know for sure if it was Harry but you didn’t know of any other deaf students in the program.
You say ‘fuck it’ and type out an email to the advisor of academic affairs and accommodations to throw your hat in the ring.
***
You don’t hear back for three days - nearly forgetting about it in the mean time. Your eyes scan quickly over the email to grant you the position. They include contact information for no other than Harry Styles.
After psyching yourself out a little and a few paces across your kitchen tiles - you text him.
Hey! I’m your new assigned tutor. Would you like to set up a time and place? As well as what kind of help you’re looking for.
The reply text comes shortly after
Hello, thank you very much. I am just in need of hearing ears. I am deaf and have a hard time keeping up with the my professor. I have begun recording the lectures in hope that you can sign then to me.
Sure thing. That won’t be a problem!
I live in Alpha Sigma on 3rd street. I have my own room. I’d rather not have the tutoring session in public. However, if that makes you uncomfortable - we can figure something out.
You take a minute to debate. You understand why this would be a task too loud for the library and why he’d want privacy. You didn’t feel like I’d be uncomfortable with him.
I saw twice a week so does Tuesday and Thursday at seven work?
Sounds great. Thank you again x
Did he know it was me? Was he expecting it to me?
***
He was definitely not expecting you. You automatically knew that by the way his friendly smile dissipated into a frown when he opened the door for you.
You attempted to look nice today without trying too hard. A loose crop top with the university’s name, a pair of tight black leggings, bulky white socks bunched at your ankles, and white sneakers. Very 80’s.
You try to keep your composure, “Hi Harry, I’m going to be your tutor.”
He slowly nods at you, huffing out a breathe of irritation before inviting you into the frat house.
You’d only been here once or twice for a party so you had no idea what the house actually looked like when there weren’t bodies and booze everywhere.
He’s walking you past a group of boys playing FIFA on the flatscreen in the living room, white claws open everywhere.
“Y/N! Hey babe!” You look over to see Niall - one of your good friends from your part-time job at the bookstore - trotting over to you guys.
The blonde pulls you into an overexcited hug. He reminded you of a cuddly, soft puppy dog most of the time.
“Are you Harry’s little tutor?” Niall coos, leaning over to pinch Harry’s cheek. 
Harry- who was observing the conversation, focusing in on our lips, immediately bats his friend away. A small scowl forming on his face.
It automatically turns into a playful brawl where Niall tugs Harry into headlock. But he has no strength on the brunette.
Harry turns out of it quickly and pushes Niall to the ground. He straddles his stomach and begins to jokingly pinch and slap at him.
Niall hisses, “Ouch! You motherfucker! Big oaf!”
Then you don’t know why you find this endearing but Niall signs the word, “uncle” a few times to signal he’s accepted his lost.
The fact that they wrestle so much that Niall learned to sign how to give up made you giggle more than it should.
Harry crawls off of him, running a hand through his messy curls, his face a little flushed.
“I’ll talk to you later!” You tell Niall as your trailing behind Harry up a flight of stairs.
His room is extremely neat. A fluffy navy comfort decorated his bed with a few photos of flowers and nature on his wall. A tidy desk tucked away in the corner that had all of his school work loaded on top of it.
He chooses to sit in his desk chair, motioning for you to perch on his bed. You look at him expectantly when he pulls out the tape recorder and sets it on the surface.
He pulls his laptop into his lap and begins signing, “I need you to transcribe the lecture for me so I can follow it. We can skip through the bits where he is rambling or off topic.”
You nod, letting him know to begin whenever he’s ready. He presses the side button and the recording starts but it super unclear and garbled.
“Did you record this from your seat?” You ask, the professors words nearly inaudible and fuzzy.
“Yes.”
“You need to bring it to the front of the room. Ask Dr. Morrison  to lay it on his desk before class. I can’t hear anything but static and mumbles,” You tell him.
He laughs and shakes his head. His movements rough and angry, “Of course its fucked up. I get you as my tutor and then the recorder is shit.”
You glare at him, offended as you haven’t done anything to this boy. “Excuse me? I’ve literally been trying to help since I’ve meet you. What is your fucking issue?”
“I’m not a charity case! I don’t need you to feel bad for me. I’m not helpless! You’re probably just a silly little girl who took ASL in high school because it was cool and trendy. Go back to focusing on psych.”
“Fuck you, Harry,” Your gestures getting sharper and your face sour, “You know nothing about me so don’t act like you do. I don’t feel bad for you or think that you’re helpless.” You put up a hand and tell him to not talk.
“I was just being nice because I thought you were handsome and at first, seemed friendly. It turns out you’re just like every douchebag frat boy I’ve met. What a disappointment,” You chuckle, swinging your bag on your shoulder and storm out of the room without another look.
***
The cafe was jammed packed - it was Waffle Wednesday. You had said waffles in your tray and were about to plop down on a stool when you hear your name being called.
“C’mere, come sit with us!” He hollers over the commotion of the crowd. Niall.
You’re about to decline when some dude slips behind you and snags the stool. Shit.
A bit unwillingly you slide into the booth next to Niall, cracking open your sparkling water. “Mates, this is Y/N, we work at the store together and she’s Harry’s tutor,” he tells them. “Y/N, this is Liam and Louis.”
“Hello,” you try your best to come off as friendly even though you can feel Harry’s glare on the side of your face. You ended up falling to easy conversation with the boys. Niall has a very limited ASL vocabulary but tries.
The boys are also trying to talk slower and more pronounced so Harry can watch and understand. A couple of times he taps Niall on the wrist to repeat what was going on.
Your phone begins buzzing and you apologize for the interruption. It’s your little sister, Mazie, FaceTiming.
You answer the phone with a frown, signing “Aren’t you suppose to be in school?”
Mazie looks upset, eyes a little watery. She gestures back, “I left early. I’m sick.”
“Are you really sick or where you getting bullied again?” You asks her.
Your sister hesitates before sniffling, “You already know. I hate my school.” 
Mazie has had other children bully her for her disability since she started preschool and it as still happening in fourth grade.
“What can I do to help?” You frown, never wanting to see your baby sister cry.
You chat for a few minutes to help her calm down. When the phone call ends, you don’t realize that all the boys were watching you in interest. Harry in particular, keeps his focus on you with a wrinkled forehead.
“My sister’s deaf,” You tell them. The whole time you’ve been sitting with them you’ve been signing and verbally speaking to help everyone be able to be included in the conversation.
“That’s sick!” Louis says, smacking Harry’s arm. “Just like our lad Harry.” 
Harry grumbles when Louis shakes him a little. It seems like the boys loved to physically interact with Harry which was endearing.
Harry allows him to for a moment before he flicks his cheek hard and laughs when Louis flinches. The conversation goes back to normal.
***
Harry jogs up to you after your group shares farewells and a few punches. You pointedly ignore him as you trek to the class you two have together so it’s not like he can’t walk this way too.
“Please, wait,” Harry asks. He walks in front of you.
“What do you want?” You huff, keeping my glare firm and directed alley at him.
“I’m sorry. I made the wrong assumption.”
“You made a lot of wrong assumptions. The fact that you think of me so lowly is sad. I’ve been nothing but nice,” You try not to focus on his large palms that curve over the caps of your shoulders.
“I’m not very trusting of people.”
You snort rather unattractively, “No kidding”
“Can we please start over?” He asks, stepping back to give you space. He didn’t realize how close he’d been standing to you until your hair wisps across his nose.
“One more chance, Styles.”
Harry lays a hand on your upper arm and squeeze lightly before signing the simple gesture of ‘thank you.’
***
It turns out Harry is very handsy and physically affectionate. It wasn’t creepy though or something that ever made you feel uncomfortable.
You were still tutoring him but you hung around the frat with Harry nearly everyday. The days you just wanted to lay in bed resulted in a grumpy FaceTime from Harry.
Harry once stated during a tutoring session, “It is easier for me to show how I’m feeling with touch than words. If I ever make you uncomfortable - please tell me and I will stop.”
You smile slyly at his words that sounded more like a question, asking if he can touch you. “I guess I’ll let you feel me up every now in again.”
He giggles and looks down wolfishly - like an entertaining thought is dancing around in his mind.
You tuck your finger under his chin to gaze at you. “In all seriousness, I give you my consent to show your feelings with physical touch. I trust you and know you won’t do anything to make me uncomfortable.”
The curly-haired brunette smiles happily, his hand cupping the side of your neck and brushing over your pulse point.
He hadn’t touched you here before and it seems like it was his first goal to do so once he got permission. You can’t help but take in a deep gasp of air. You prayed he didn’t notice but by the small lift of his lips he did.
The simple touch made a flame of arousal swirl in your lower stomach. You felt like you were about to start sweating.
“Anyways,” You clear your throat and snatch back up the recorder. It now had better quality after Harry listened to you about placement.
***
The frat house was ridiculously full of drunk college students. Everybody on the dance floor was sweaty and sticky with a variety of different substances.
Niall had invited you - so you were searching about for him. Pushing through the crowd and nobody was able to hear you say ‘excuse me.’
You finally found fresh air in the backyard where beer pong and cornhole were set up. Niall was tossing his ball across the table, trying to splash in Liam’s red solo cups.
Harry was sitting on a cushioned patio chair, watching the game commence. Maybe he was a beer pong referee after all. 
He looked so fucking good tonight. He had a yellow snapback taming his curls - backwards of course. A black Rage Against the Machine shirt and his signature black skinny jeans. **
You made eye contact and were about to wave when a girl plopped down in the seat across from him.
Awkwardly you turn away, greeting the other boys and taking a seat in a lawn chair to watch them start their third round of the game.
Your eyes keep darting over to Harry who is staring blankly at the girl. She starts stroking his biceps and tracing across the tattoos like they belong to her.
Harry is attempting to let her know he’s not interested. His signs uselessly as she’s staring at his lips and not hands.
You’re moving before you know it, without another thought, you squeeze in between the two - separating them. You dramatically slide into his lap, funnily enough one strong arm wrapping happily around your middle.
The pretty blonde pouts out her lips, “Is he your boyfriend?”
Before you’re able to reply, Harry signs the obvious signal for ‘yes’ to the girl. Then rudely makes the shooing gesture. She’s up with a huff and stomping back towards the house.
Harry turns you sideways on his lap so that you two can see each other’s hands, “You saved me.”
“You’re just such a stud, have to protect you,” You joke - but not really.
He raising his eyebrows and smiles, “You were jealous.” It was a statement not a question.
You blush wildly, avoiding eye contact which you know he hates. He hates anytime you cut off ways of communication.
Harry taps your lips until you look up at him, “it’s really fucking sexy when you are.” A perk of sign language. He could dirty talk just about anywhere and mostly no one would ever know.
His thumb drags on your full bottom lip, signing clumsily with one hand so you had to use context clues to piece it together “Don’t think I forgot when you called me handsome a few months ago.”
“I don’t remember, doesn’t sound like me,” You boldly lie, snickering and nipping at the top of his thumb
His eyes become a shade darker when your teeth meet his skin. He presses his thumb further in until it’s in-between your teeth. The moment is broken when Niall screams, “Styles! You’re up next!”
**
You and Harry become separated after you spent nearly two hours watching all these drunk boys play beer pong. Harry was ridiculously good at the game and only had to drink two cups from the table.
You had wandered back into the house where the party had died down. There were only a handful of stragglers left but mostly just the fraternity brothers and their close friends.
With a fresh alcoholic seltzer in your hand - you didn’t trust open bottles at parties like this - you gaze at Harry through the back window.
Harry was being jumped by Liam and Niall. He was snarling playfully as Liam toppled them all over into the grass. Niall tries to stand up but Harry’s hand wraps around his ankle and makes him fall right back on his bum with a girlish squeal.
Niall leans over to give Harry a wet-willy but Liam manages to throw a plastic cup directly at Niall’s forehead. Harry and the other boys dissolve in childish giggles. Faces red from laughter and liquor. You feel a smile painted fondly on your lips from watching them.
“Hey, Y/N right?” A voice interrupts from behind.
You spin to face a guy you barely recognize from a previous class you shared. You smile nonetheless, “Hi...”
“Jake, Jake from Social Constructs and Society last semester.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right,” You smile and allow him to talk your ear off because you struggle to say ‘no.’ He was fine, nothing special, typical business major who thought he was hot shit because his daddy owned a golf course he wanted to take you to.
It was a normal conversation until his voice gets lower as if he’s trying to be more seductive, “Want to head to a room with me?” He nods towards the staircase.
You chuckle in disbelief at his bold and forward question. “No thank you, I’m good.” You really had eyes for one person right now and he was currently cussing out Niall in sign language in the backyard before tackling him once again to the ground.
“C’mon, I can really show you a good time,” He persuades persistently, stepping into your space - causing your nervousness to spike.
“I said - no thank you,”You bite out, starting to feel scared when he blocks your way out of the kitchen and presses himself against you and the counter.
“You’re really something gorgeous, you know?” He asks, ignoring my struggles to get away from him.
“Stop touching me!” You scream, hoping Niall or one of the boys would hear your wail. He puts a hand up to your mouth to muffle you but that only results in you biting him.
“Fucking bitch!” He cries out, pulling his hand back and winding up to either punch or slap you right in the face. You prepare for the impact.
Then in a blink off an eye, it becomes a blur, a muscular figure is crashing into Jake with full force and knocking him straight into the linoleum floor with a loud crash.
It’s Harry. Broad shoulders and thick but lean tattooed biceps. He’s standing over the harasser and drops on top of him. It shouldn’t look as graceful and tactful as it does.
You’d never seen anything like this from Harry before. Once you really got to know him - he was a gentle giant who liked romantic comedies, soft blankets, and vanilla cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles.
Harry’s fist is repeatedly connecting with the dark-haired boy’s jaw with full force. The only noise is from Jake as Harry is dead silent but his eyes zeroed in on the target.
When blood begins gushing from the man’s nose - Niall and Liam decide it times to physically pull Harry up. Harry had a slight red mark on his jaw when Jake had managed one punch before being defeated quickly.
Harry signs to Niall, “Tell him.”
Niall places his foot on the dude’s chest to keep him down, “My mate wants to let you know if you touch her again we’re not going to pull him off and he’ll gladly beat you to a fucking pulp.”
Jake groans, clutching his nose to stop the bleeding, “Fuckin’ asshole.” 
You were still blown away as you watch Harry’s heaving chest as he glares down at the boy. His fist clenched and knuckle bloody and swollen. Harry’s attention turns towards you. His furious expression melts into worry. You can read his face so clearly. He’s afraid he’s scared you off.
It was hard to believe you had this drop dead gorgeous frat boy defending you past midnight on a Friday night. A boy who didn’t need to hear but just to see you needed help to step in.
All your desires and lusts after the man in front of you burst like a rubber-band and the urge to have him felt uncontrollable. “Take me upstairs,” you demand quickly, arousal creeping up your spine.
He doesn’t understand you’re extremely turned on. Instead he looks like a kicked dog who’s about to get in trouble again.
Nevertheless, he takes your hand and maneuvers out of the kitchen and up the stairs until his bedroom door is closed.
Harry lips are turned down unhappily as he begins, “I’m sorry, love. I...” he pauses a moment before continuing. “I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I hope you don’t think less of me.”
You look him dead in the eye and sign, “Kiss me.”
He blinks slowly at you like he just hallucinate the gestures.
So you repeat your motions, slow and with intent, “Kiss me, touch me, do something.” No more time is wasted as he is stepping in front of you and cupping your face in his hands.
Without any hesitation now, he pressing a bruising kiss to your lips - taking your bottom one between his and sucking.
Your hands are immediately tugging at the hem of his vintage shirt, pulling apart to bring it over his head. Dark ink decorates his torso, for some reason something you weren’t expecting. A butterfly on his abdomen, two fern branches, tattoos on his side.
Harry chuckles, “This is new to me.”
Your eyes go wide and you sign, “You’re a virgin?”
Harry snorts and rolls his eyes before telling you, “God no. I mean I’ve never been able to really communicate during sex.”
Then before You can speak, he cuts in a bit frantically, “I’ve always gotten consent - not like that. I mean-“ You cut him off with a kiss - knowing he would never do anything you didn’t want.
You wanted everything from him.
“If you’d believe it, I like a bit of dirty talk when I fuck - but no one understands what I’m saying,” He tries to crack a joke but for some reason seems insecure and nervous.
“Hey,” You take his chin so he shyly meets your eye, “I can’t wait to hear it - you’ve already made me so wet.” His eyes light up like a kid on Christmas.
“You’re such a good girl,” he signs before tugging off your shirt and instantly finding your lips again. His hands are skillful as they unclasp your bra without any struggle and tosses it.
You tugs a bit as his hair to show your enjoyment as his tongue finds your nipple - lapping before taking it between his teeth. As good as it feels, you want him to feel even better.
You push him back until he’s sitting in the edge of the bed, legs spread and hands behind him on either side holding him up. Jaw clenched with arousal and restraint.
He’s pressed against the zipper of his jeans. And all you wanted to do was see him in all of his glory. You’re quick to undo the button and determined to get the finicky zipper down as well.
His fingers come beneath your chin until you’re looking at his sparkling eyes, a look of lust made his lids a little droopier and his mouth slack from heavy-breathing.
“Are you sure you want to? You don’t have to - I want to eat your pussy either way, pet,” He signs, leaning in for a slow, wet kiss.
You sign back with a pout, “Shut the fuck up.” He huffs out a laugh, letting go of your chin and wrapping a hand in your hair to keep it out of your face.
As soon as he’s helping you wriggle his briefs and jeans down his narrow hips, you’re met with the prettiest cock you’ve ever seen.
When you make eye contact with Harry, he raises a eyebrow and grins cockily, “Is it nice enough for your liking, love?”
You nod breathlessly - wasting no more time before ducking down to take him to your mouth, a slight burning in your throat from how big he is.
His hands keep ahold of your hair, thumbs pressed against your temples as you bob down his length with sloppy, warm licks.
Harry’s moaning as you pop off to kiss and suck at the underside of him, hands coming to cup and roll his balls. It is a few moments later when he taps your cheek to get your attention, one hand leaving his hair to sign that he’s close.
Your mouth speeds up, wanting to give him all the pleasure you could. Your hand coming to stroke at what couldn’t fit in your mouth, pumping quickly.
Before you know it, Harry’s rutting his hips upwards and coming with a long, deep moan from the rumbles of his chest. He’s pulling you up into his lap, pressing appreciative kisses to your cheeks and jawline.
Big hands palming at your breasts before slipping down into your leggings, brushing softly over your mound. 
You whine and hitch forward to grind against his palm as soon as he cups you. He smiles widely at your desperation, pressing the heel of his palm harder against you to create more pressure.
You were already so wet and turned on that it wasn’t going to take much. The ball of your climax was burning low in your tummy. However, you wanted him to taste you like he said he would.
You sign, “I’m close. Please, I want your mouth on me.”
With that, he’s flipping you until you’re laid out on the bed. His hands tugging off your leggings and underwear with no further ado. “Holy shit,” He gestures, gazing all over your body and not stopping on one spot for too long.
“What?” You ask, fishing for the compliments you know he’s about to shower you in.
“You’ve got such a pretty pussy,” he signs, dimples popping in his cheeks and a curious finger traces your entrance before dipping in.
You lightly kick at his stomach, “Get on me.” He pouts, crooking his finger against your spot before pulling it out. Fucking tease.
Then his face is disappearing between your spread thighs and a strong lick is delivered from your clit all the way down to your bum.
Since he can’t hear you, you grabs handfuls off his hair. Tugging at the roots, scratching your nails into his scalp to let him know how good he is. So fucking good.
When you accidentally buck your hips hard against his mouth, you curse and run a apologetic hand through the locks. He doesn’t look up at you but lift a hand and signs, “Again.”
You absolutely whine, begging to ride him with determination - climax on the brink. He hums causing vibrations on the sensitive nerves. With that, your hips are meeting his tongue and you’re coming. His face dampening with your release - happy as a clam when he pops back up.
You can’t remember the sign for condom, so you sign, “Protection?” Harry understands right away, rustling through the drawer until he finds a stray packets, “It’s been awhile.”
“Same,” You gestures - watching as he slides it down his length and crawls overtop of you. He was pink and swollen - having to be a bit sensitive from just coming a little while ago.
“Ready, love?” He asks, pressing soft kisses to your jawline. You nod, reaching down to guide him in.
And you weren’t lying, it had been a while and he was big. The stretch wasn’t uncomfortable, just a lot. But his wet, open-mouth kisses made you stay grounded.
Harry’s moans were absolutely obscene as he slide all the way in before stopping to give you a moment. His arms strong, holding himself over you. The cold metal of his necklaces brushing against your tight nipples.
When you have him the okay, he begin giving you deep, hard strokes on each thrust. His noises so loud they had to be able to hear them downstairs. They were deep and low - rumbling in his chest with pleasure.
Then his hand is coming to your throat. For a wild moment you thought he was going to choke you but instead he rest it lightly, palm flat.
It takes you a moment - then it hits you.
Holy fuck. He is feeling the vibrations of your moans - erupting from your vocal cords. Feeling out the movement from your throat so he can feel how much you’re enjoying it.
You should be embarrassed but you can’t find it in you when you come again right on the spot. His fingertips nudging into the skin to feel the intensity as it wracks through you.
When you’re done riding out your orgasm, he reaches for the headboard behind you with his other hand, gripping it tightly as he begins to pound in with all his strength.
The bedframe is hitting the wall so loud that the whole house must be able to hear it. Hitting with every directed thrust until his mouth is dropping down into a long, timbred moan and he’s coming.
---
Later, when the two are you have settled for the night in the warmth of his bed. Harry seems a little nervous, once again. It takes him a moment to meet your eyes and brushes a strand of hair off your forehead.
“What is it?” You ask, tucked into his side. His body so solid and comforting.
“It’s corny,” Harry frowns, eyebrows furrowing as his eyes flash across your face.
“Tell me,” You insist, bringing his hand to your lips to kiss his fingertips.
“I feel like you were made for me. Like...we were meant to be together,” Harry signs, hesitant to share his thoughts. But it doesn’t scare you away. You can’t help but agree.
“I think so too,” You reply before pressing another kiss to his puffy pink lips.
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ygreczed-3 · 3 years ago
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The Walking Dead AU
Hello everyone ! 😁 Little update about the TWD au ! I hope you'll enjoy this post. I wanted to apologize again for this long semi-hiatus I'm in currently... I may start night working in January, maybe I'll have more time to draw then ? Right now my unit is getting heavier, we're starting to have Covid+ patients again so I don't have a lot of free time and I mostly sleep when I can tbh 😂 Be careful and stay healthy everyone 💕 (I hope I can post something for Christmas and new year)
Hank : Let’s find another way! Connor : … But it will take way too long! Hank : We don’t have a choice… we can’t cross that river with the car. Connor : What if we walk instead ? Hank : Excuse me??? Cole can’t walk all day long at your pace ! Connor : You know, most of the bridges have been destroyed during the first months of the pandemic. Authorities wanted to keep people from propagating the virus, and boom ! They exploded most bridges. The only remaining ones are the biggest, and they’re infested with cars who got caught in traffic jams and creeps who were attracted by the sound of honkings. Hank : … Are you sure we can cross the river here ? That dead tree doesn’t look safe. Connor : Don’t worry, I’ll go first.
Connor started walking on the log, Hank watching him carefully from the shore. Cole had got out of the car and was looking at the young man.
Cole : I don’t like that Dad… Hank : Yeah, me neither.
Connor thought he was doing great, until the dead tree started breaking from his weight and the moisture. The young man slipped into the cold, rushing waters, letting out a surprised cry.
Hank : Shit, Connor !!!
The stream was a lot stronger than it seemed, and Connor had to make his best efforts not to drown. He swam against the stream for a few seconds before realizing he wouldn’t make it to the riverbank. He used his last strength to grip a bunch of boulders and keep himself from being taken away by the river. His friend was leaning in his direction, offering his big callous hand to him.
Hank : Hold on Con, here I am…
The man helped him out of the freezing water, holding him still as Connor was gagging and coughing from the water he had swallowed. His legs were shaking, and Connor was sure it wasn’t from the cold : he had had his biggest scare in a long time.
Hank : Look, I know you want to find your brother faster, but we have to be careful. We’ll camp here tonight and tomorrow we’ll follow the riverbank and find somewhere safe to cross it. Cole : Connor you’re shaking !!! I’ll light a fire !!! Connor : T-T-Thank y-y-you… Hank : Jesus you’re freezing to death… take your clothes off.
Connor obeyed without thinking, Hank giving him a helping hand since he was too shaky to be totally efficient in his movements. Cole was a real camping expert now, he could light a fire in a few minutes and keep it going for long hours. Since food cans were getting rare, Hank had decided to start hunting small game, he had learned how to with his own father a long time ago. It took him some time to readjust his knowledge but he eventually did it. The father and the son were becoming real survivors with time. Soon enough, they wouldn’t need Connor anymore. 
The thought pinched the man’s heart, as Hank was wrapping him in a dry blanket.
Hank : Your lips are blue… Are you okay ? Connor : … C-C-Cold… Hank : Of course you are, why don’t you ever listen to me?
Connor closed his eyes, savoring the warmth of Hank’s hand in his nape : hopefully, the grey haired man would blame his shivers and goosebumps on the cold water. Hank opened the blanket to get himself inside. The brune didn’t say a word while the other man was holding them together, and tried not to think too hard about the fact he was stuck against Hank, his bare, wet skin brushing over the warm cotton of his t-shirt.
Cole got closer, seemingly worried.
Cole : Are you okay, Connor, your face is red… Connor : Must be the cold… Hank : Cole, would you open a food can and put it on the fire while I warm Connor up ? Cole : Sure !
Connor sighed in relief when the boy ran away. He started looking intently at the fire, trying to ignore everything else : the last thing he wanted was to embarrass himself with a boner as he was sharing a manly hug with his friend. And it was working. He was even starting to stop shaking.
Hank : You okay ? Connor : Hm-hm… Hank : Good.
The man left the cozy cover of the blanket to pick up Connor’s clothes from the ground. He started hanging them out on the nearby branches.
Hank : It’s cold today, and night is falling. I don’t think your clothes will be dry tomorrow.  Connor : We’ll see.
_________________
In the end, his clothes were still cold and damp when he put them back the next day. Connor suppressed a shiver, and the little party started walking down the river, trying to find a fording to access the opposite bank.
They had to empty the car, and now Hank’s backpack was even bigger than Connor’s. Even Cole was carrying his own sleeping bag, and even though they were walking at a steady pace, the boy was not complaining. He had turned down his dad’s offer to carry him at the end of the day. “I’m too old to be carried!” He had said, trotting a few steps away from the adults.
Hank slowed down to walk at Connor’s height, sighing: Teenage rebellion already ? But he’s still a baby…
Connor : … He’s tougher than you think. Hank: … Hey, you okay ? Connor : Huh-huh…
Hank grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stop walking. Cole had noticed and was standing still a few feet away, looking at them silently. Connor only blinked, trying to adjust the focus on his friend while he was touching his forehead with the back of his hand.
Hank looked alarmed : You’re burning hot. Cole : What’s going on ? Hank : Connor’s sick. Cole : Huh ?
Connor shivered, too bothered by a torturing stomachache to pretend he wasn’t. He had been walking on automatic pilot for hours now, hoping to get miraculously better. Being sick was a bad thing in that world : the littlest cold could be the death of the toughest survivors. 
Hank : Let’s stop for now. Cole, light a fire, I’ll put the barbed wire around the camp. Connor, you sit down and you rest.
_________________
Connor didn’t remember much after that. He was pretty sure he had passed out a few times, returning to consciousness only to see Hank giving him some water, or helping him not to collapse as he was throwing up. How much time had passed ? Hours ? Days ? He couldn’t tell.
Hank : We need medicine.
He had woken up at the exact moment Hank had said those words : his whole body was hurting, his mouth was dry, his stomach painfully empty, and still, he was feeling sick at the sheer idea of eating.
Cole : Where ? Hank, pointing at the map: This is the nearest town. Might be 2 or 3 hours away. Cole, leaving Connor alone, even for a few hours, is too dangerous. In this state he can’t defend himself. Cole : … I’ll stay with him dad. I’ll protect him.
Connor would have cried if he could. He didn’t want to die. Nines… Nines was waiting for him. He blinked and saw Hank’s massive shoulders leaning to him. In the mist of his feverish mind, Connor finally locked his eyes to the Lieutenant’s cold blue stare.
Connor : Wait …
It was all he could manage, his voice was husky, low like a whisper. Hank smiled and leaned down, dropping a tender kiss on Connor’s forehead.
Hank : Hold on. I’ll be back soon.
Cole had taken his father’s place the next time Connor opened his eyes. He was standing, aiming his gun at something in the dark. An inhuman growl helped the former student guess out what it was : a walker. Adrenalin gave him enough strength to straighten on his elbows. He felt dizzy, his head was so heavy.
Connor : Cole, be care… be careful…
He reached for his own gun, and felt weak when he noticed how heavy it was.
Cole was immobile, pointing his weapon at the Walker who was stumbling in their direction. And despite his best efforts, Connor couldn’t aim. A gunshot, muted by the silencer, finally rang out in the dark forest, and the walker collapsed.
The young man dropped his weapon and Cole quickly turned towards him. 
Cole : Connor ?? What are you doing ?? Connor : The creep… Cole : … Relax, Connor. I’m taking care of them. Connor : … You shot it ? Cole : Hm-hm… Now keep your strength, Dad must be on his way back.
_______________
Hank came back with antibiotics, his sweater covered with blood, and with the pills, it took Connor a few days to get better. He was still feeling weak on his legs, but he wasn’t feverish anymore, and could eat again.
On the third day, Connor woke up early, and he was feeling great : no stomach ache, no dizzy head or nausea. He was feeling so well he decided he would take care of cooking breakfast. He rekindled the fire with some dry wood and put some water to a boil in the saucepan. He decided to go check around the camp, deeper in the forest. He spotted a walker, and eliminated it fast with his machete : a few feet away, a little tent was pitched up. Connor made sure no one else was around, and approached stealthily. A raccoon jumped out of the tent, confirming the man’s suspicions : he opened the shelter, covering his nose and shaking his head to deter the flies away. There was a dead body inside.
Connor rummaged through the stuff, finding a warm vest that would suit Hank’s broad shoulders, a pair of gloves. A few comics and books Cole didn’t have. A blanket, more food cans, water bottles, ammo and a hunting rifle. He was about to leave when a glimmer of light caught his attention. Glass ? A bottle ?
Whisky. Connor smiled. He would give it to Hank whenever they’d be safe. He packed everything up and went back to the camp.
Cole : Connor ! Good morning ! Connor : Hello buddy. How are you ? Cole : ’M good ! And you seem to have recovered too. Connor : I feel great today, guess I’m cured. Hank : Good to hear. Connor : Hi Hank. Did you sleep well ? Hank : Hm-hm. Nice to see you back on your feet. We can keep going now. Connor : Yep.
Hank stood up from his sleeping bag, stretching and scratching his beard. He then came closer with a smile, ruffling the young man’s hair with his big palm. Connor welcomed the affective gesture with a soft laugh that died in his throat when Hank leaned down to drop a kiss on his forehead. Connor gave him a confused look.
Hank : I’m just happy you made it through.
Connor’s heart jumped furiously in his chest, leaving him silent and incredulous as Hank was already walking away.
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shiftylookingcrow · 3 years ago
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A (not comprehensive) List of Little Self Care Things I Do When Everything Feels Like Too Much:
Bathing
Wash just your body, or just your hair. You may not be completely clean, but you ARE cleaner
Still feels like too much? No problem!
Take off any jewelry from your hands/wrists and wash your hands up to your elbows, just taking your time
Then wash your arm pits and groin, those are the stinkiest parts of the body
If you're feeling up to it, wash your face too
Once you're done washing, take your favorite body lotion and massage it in anywhere you washed
Shaving
Shaving takes time and patience (especially if you prefer to be mostly hairless), but you don't have to go through the whole process every time
Wanna wear that cute tank top/crop top but don't feel comfortable with how hairy your pits are today?
JUST shave your arm pits then
Wanna wear shorts/capries/a skirt, but feel your legs are too fuzzy?
Where on your legs do the cuffs/hem sit? JUST shave from there down
Facial hair looking kinda scruffy? Got an electric shaver? It won't give you as close a shave as a razor, but it'll help neaten you up a bit
After any shaving, get back in there with your lotion and work it in well
Laundry
Don't have the energy to drag that big basket you've been avoiding down to the washing machine? Out of clothes but need something to wear tomorrow?
Wash ONLY what you'll need for the next 1 or 2 days. A smaller load means less to put away after
Need a bra/binder/mask/etc for tomorrow? Wash ONE, then hang it to dry with a fan blowing on it.
The air movement will help it dry faster, and while it may not be 100% dry by morning, it should be dry enough to wear comfortably
This can be done for underwear and socks as well
Dental
Mouth feeling like sandpaper, but you still can't find it in you to go through the whole tooth care routine?
JUST brush your teeth before bed. You can floss in the morning
No energy to get in there and really scrub like your dentist told you to? Even just a quick scrub is better than nothing
You know those little Gum brand toothpick things? With runber bristles on them? They can't replace proper flossing, but the CAN at least get the worst of the gunk from between your teeth
Food
Hungry but can't bring yourself to put together a whole meal? That's okay!
Get all the fixings for a sandwich (bread, spreads, cheese, meat, etc), put them on a plate and eat that. You're still eating a sandwich, it's just not an assembled sandwich
Want a smoothy, but don't want to fuss with the blender? Put it all together as a yogurt bowl instead
Want a salad? Grab a couple lettuce leaves, a stick of celery, half a tomato, or whatever else you'd have in there, and toss it on a plate. Grab some dressing (or not) and you've got a personal size veggie platter
Cut an orange in half and eat the pulp out with a spoon
Cut an apple in half, and eat JUST one half. You can save the other half for later, or eat it right after the first if you feel up to it
Cutting a banana in half and squeezing out the fruit means you don't have to worry about those gross stringy bits
Simple Smoothie Recipe:
1 banana
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp honey/sugar
Milk (dairy, soy, almond, whichever)
Berries, yogurt, chocolate chips, jam (optional)
Directions
Put all ingredients except milk in a blender (or 4 cup measure if using a hand mixer)
Pour in milk until ingredients are ALMOST covered. There should be about 1 inch/2.5 cm of solid ingredients visible
Blender/mix for 30-60 seconds, or until desired consistency. Pour into your favorite glass, or drink straight from the container
Simple baked potato:
Clean a medium to large potato and use a fork to stab holes down the sides and at each end. Depending on the size, you should have stab your potato somewhere around 9-12 times.
Place the potato in the microwave just off of center, one end facing the center of the spinning plate
Microwave for 15 minutes, flipping the potato end for end after every 5 minutes
Put the potato on a plate with some sour cream or ranch dressing, and dip it like a big ol' french fry
House Cleaning
Feel like there's too many dishes? Pick ONE place setting (bowl, plate, knife, fork, spoon, cup), and ONE pot/pan, and clean those. Do the same at the end of each meal, and while it might take a while, you'll eventually get things down to a manageable level
Dust bunnies breeding in the corners? Pick ONE room or hallway every couple days and just clean there. ONE clean room is better than NO clean rooms
Your room is so messy you don't know where to start? Every time you enter your room, put ONE thing back where it belongs. Every time you leave your room, take one thing that doesn't belong out with you and put it where it belongs.
Sink looking kind of gross? Give it a quick wipe down the next time you wash your hands
Toilet needs a clean? Pick a part (lid, seat, back or bowl) and just clean that bit. Even if you're just wiping some of the dust off the back.
Scum ring building up in the shower/bathtub? Give it a quick scrub next time you bathe. Maybe you don't get the whole thing, but you DID make a start.
Fitness
No energy for a full walk? If you can, walk around your house/apartment building. You might not have gone far, but you were UP and you were OUTSIDE.
Can't get out for whatever reason? Are there stairs in your house? In your apartment building? If you can, walk up and down those a few times.
Not really able to do stairs? Do some simple stretches instead.
Reach down and try to touch your toes, holding for 20 seconds. Reach up over your head as high as you can, holding for 20 seconds. Repeat 5 times
Sitting in a chair, reach your right hand across your body and over your left shoulder and try to grab the back of the chair without lifting your butt. Hold for 20 seconds. Do the same with your left arm, holding for 20 seconds. Repeat 5 times
Standing, or sitting on a chair, gently pull your head towards your shoulder (right hand, right shoulder; left hand, left shoulder), reaching the other hand down towards the ground. Hold for 20 seconds, then gently push your head upright again (lifting your head with just your neck muscles can cause them to seize after a stretch). Repeat 5 times
Miscellaneous
Need to trim your nails, but don't feel like sitting through both hands? Pick one finger on each hand, and just trim that nail. Do another nail on each hand tomorrow, and another the day after that. You don't have to do them all at once
Having trouble remembering to drink enough water? Find a water bottle/mug/glass that you like and try to keep it near you as much as possible. I find actually having a bottle with me helps me remember to keep sipping.
Still having trouble with your water intake? Fruit and veggies (specifically like apples, oranges, tomatoes, bell peppers and avocados to name a few) have high water content and can help keep you hydrated
Even if you can't get to sleep, lieing in bed with your eyes closed is more restful than trying to wear yourself out by reading or something
Alternatively, doing some mild stretches, or a few sit ups/push ups/jumping jacks can help wear you out without engaging your brain too much
You are aloud to say "no". You don't even need to give a reason. If everything feels like too much, taking on more responsibility will only make it worse, which will only make your output poorer as a result.
A reminder that this is by no means a complete list, just some things I've found helpful in my journey through adhd, depression, and anxiety. Not all tasks need to be done all at once. Maybe you can't do much, but that doesn't invalidate the some you did. Just because you take longer to do a task doesn't mean your bad at it, or that it isn't worth doing. You'll get there when you get there.
Please feel free to add to this post, I'd love to see what self care tricks other people are using!
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super-unpredictable98 · 3 years ago
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Aftercare | The Umbrella Academy AU
Pairing: Klaus x Vicky (OC - The Eighth Child’ Verse)
Word Count: 1 k
Warning: Strong language, mention of trauma and torture
(Masterlist)
"Can I go now, father?" I panted, sweat running down my forehead and my burning red cheeks.
"Yes, Number Eight, now you may go."
I had just spent the last five hours in resistance training. Dad's twisted ways of enhancing my power included keeping me under a hydraulic press, shooting me repeatedly, locking me up in chambers with bombs, bending me in positions that should break my bones, holding my head underwater, pushing me off buildings, stabbing me with all sorts of instruments and many other practices that might as well be torture.
I dragged myself from underneath the press and slowly made my way outside. Klaus was sitting on the floor waiting, he lifted his eyes when the door opened.
"Vicky, I thought it would never end, this took forever."
"You think? Try to spend that time with a thousand pounds on your back," my voice was a fragile whisper, I felt like I could crumble if someone simply blew in my general direction.
"A thousand? Last time he said he would only go up to 600."
"He said now that I'm older I can handle it."
"Aww, Schnucki... I wanna kill that asshole!"
My body soon gave out and I thought I would faint, Klaus had to hold me so I wouldn't fall. My room was downstairs, there was no way I would be able to walk.
"Can we sit down for a bit? I don't think I'm gonna make it," I sighed.
"Put your arms around my neck," he asked, giving me a worried frown.
I did as he told me, he placed one arm on my back and one behind my knees, lifting me up. I let my head fall on his shoulder as he went down the stairs with me. Klaus could be a huge slacker during our fight training, but when it came down to it, he was surprisingly strong.
"Thank you, Klausie," I muttered when we got to my room and he put me in bed.
"No problem," he sat by my side. "Here, let me help you."
He got me out of my blazer and used it to dry my sweaty forehead. He then opened the drawer on my nightstand, where I kept my post-training kit.
"Here we go," Klaus handed me a Gatorade bottle half full and a protein bar.
"No, I'm not hungry, I feel sick," I shook my head.
"Vicky... You have to eat, your body went through a lot, you need the energy."
"But I don't want it," I probably sounded like a whiny kid, but I think I had the right to after everything our dad had just made me do.
"Am I gonna have to feed you?" Klaus held the protein bar in front of my mouth, rubbing it against my lips with a smirk. "Mom said if you don't eat this you'll have to drink that nasty supplement that you hate."
"Fine!" I finally accepted my fate and took a bite.
"Good girl!" he cooed playfully. 
"Miss Victoria," Pogo said after knocking briefly on the door with his cane. "Your father asked me to make sure you are all right."
"Did he? Did he really, Pogo?" Klaus cocked an eyebrow.
"Yes, Master Klaus, he wants to make sure she will be able to carry her training tomorrow."
"Oh, that makes more sense..." I scoffed. "I will, I'm just exhausted right now."
"Very well, is there anything you need, Miss?"
"No, thanks, Pogo."
He politely nodded before leaving and closing the door. Of course I loved him, but his loyalty to our father never really allowed me to trust Pogo completely. In the back of my head, I always knew he would do anything for the old man and if it came down to it, he would take his side over us in a heartbeat.
"Can you believe that? He doesn't see us as human beings, we're just crime-fighting robots he likes to play with," Klaus grumbled bitterly.
"Yeah, but soon we can get the fuck away from here, just a few more years and we can move out."
"I can't wait!" he carefully undid my ponytail and ran his fingers through my hair while I kept eating. "We should share an apartment when we get out."
"Like roommates?"
"Yeah, we could have so much fun, right?"
"I guess... It sounds like a plan. Run away and never look back."
"Sometimes I wonder if that's what Five did, you know? Maybe he's having a blast somewhere in time and we are the stupid ones for worrying," Klaus joked. When this conversation happened, it had only been two years since our brother disappeared. I can still remember how our dad made an example out of him. 
We waited for Five to come back for a few months, but he never did. Half a year passed and dad had that painting made to hang over the mantelpiece, whenever one of us dared to misbehave or act in any way different from what he expected, Mister Monocle would point at it as if saying: 'Continue like this and you will end up like Number Five'. 
"Maybe, if that's the case, he's a huge asshole for not coming back to get the rest of us," I frowned, imagining what could've happened to him.
"Well, you know Five..."
"I miss him so much, he was a dick sometimes, but he's our brother."
"Yeah, me too," Klaus mindlessly fidgeted with the hemline of my skirt. "You would never leave me like that, would you?"
I stared at those emerald eyes while I slowly chewed, I don't think I've ever seen someone as beautiful.
"What would I ever do without you?" I smiled, knowing he knew I meant it.
"I hope we never find out... Now come on, let's get you in the tub, I'll wash your hair."
Tag List: @seanfalco @badsext @salvador-daley @firstpersonnarrator @holidayspirits
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kimnjss · 4 years ago
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keep going | jjk
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⤑  series: cherry pickers
⤑ pairing: gamer(fuckboi)!jungkook x video vixen(virgin)!reader
⤑ genre: smut!! (and the start of angst at the end...)
⤑ rating: explicit
⤑ word count: 4.8K // unedited.
⤑ warnings: cursing, slight dirty talk, oral sex (m/f. receiving), handjob, cum shot, face sitting, spitting, grinding, (half-assed) 69-ing, nipple play, groping, dry humping, they’re both half drunk nd messy.
⤑ A/N: hiiii! how are you? sooo ., i decided to make the party two parts bc i had terrible time management today nd it’s getting late - buut i really wanted to post today. sooo part two up tomorrow!!
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MAY 8TH, 2020 | 23:30
Jungkook hears your squeal over the booming bass of the music, long before you're appearing through the crowd of drunk partygoers. Jimin is steps behind you, large black glasses resting on the tip of his nose. Eyes likely bloodshot underneath them obvious from the stumble in his walk. Your hair fans out behind you as you run, jumping with a shout onto your boyfriend. Who is more than ready to catch you. Hands splayed over the small of your back, while your legs wrap around his waist.
Giggling, even though nothing's really funny. Cold hands finding his cheeks as your hair creates a curtain on one side of his face. “My baby!” Speaking a bit too loud for how close you are, but he doesn't mind it. Especially since you're quick with covering his mouth with yours. The strong taste of alcohol hitting his tongue as if how drunk you were wasn't already obvious.
The kiss doesn't last long because you're being distracted by your thoughts, lips parting from his, you begin to bounce in his arms. Thighs brushing against his waist and the skirt of your dress riding up the swell of your ass. “Jimin said you got dressed up for me,” You're wearing this pretty smile on your face, cheeks tinted pink and he's not too convinced it's just from the alcohol.
He nods without a bit of hesitation because he had nothing to hide. Wouldn't even be stood here in this outfit if he didn't think you'd find him attractive in it. Another squeal is leaving your lips, legs leaving his body as you jump down out of his grasp. Taking a step back to fully take in his appearance.
“You look good enough to eat,” Moving in close to him, your arms lift to wrap around his neck. Tugging gently so his face is level with yours, the tip of his nose nudging against your cheek as you lean up to reach his ear. “We'll get to that later, though.” A gentle kiss pressed to the outside of it and you're sure you hear a moan leave his lips.
Not dwelling too much on the sound, you pull back, taking his hand in his, leading him into the kitchen where you swear you saw Jimin disappear. Probably in search of smoother drinks to accompany the numerous shots swimming in his stomach. Jimin was quite the drinker and a bit hard to keep up with, either way, you managed without falling over. That was definitely a plus.
Jungkook had been here an hour or two before you showed up. Found Taehyung in the crowd and Yoongi after that, the three of them spending time drinking and talking while he waited for you. Your friends were cool and he was enjoying the music and everything, but at the end of it, he was most looking forward to seeing you... even if he had been with you just the day before.
Shots were passed around and Yoongi had his mind set on getting absolutely trashed, him and everyone within a ten-foot radius. Which had him refilling every single empty glass in sight. Including Jungkook, despite the fact, he was on the far end of the couch. So yeah, not as drunk as you, but definitely heading in that direction.
Who cares, though? It was a party after all.
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MAY 9TH, 2020 | 00:19
Sat up on the kitchen counter with Jungkook beside you, quietly sipping from his cup while you talk a mile a minute with the guys in the room. Taehyung has taken an interest in Jimin who has made it his entire business to play hard to get. The whole nine yards, honestly, not looking directly at him while he spoke, acting aloof when it was clear to any of your close friends that Tae was enjoying the undivided attention.
Yoongi had gone somewhere a good half hour ago, nothing but a brief mumble of his departure which was drowned out by the music. Hoseok was leaving a few moments after him, loudly declaring he wanted to go dance. Yet, you have yet to see the inevitable circle form around him.
That left Joon and Jin with you and Jungkook, the four of you laughing and talking loudly about something that you'd no doubt forget in the morning. Well, three of you... Jungkook only half listened, the rest of his attention on you. Hadn't taken his eyes off you since he was setting you down on the counter and it was getting a little hard to ignore his stare.
Jungkook was always obvious, hardly ever beat around the bush... especially when it had anything to do with you. So just one look in his direction and you could tell that he was undressing you with his eyes, playing a dirty movie in his mind where the two of you were the stars.
Normally, you'd tease him. Get him all riled up until he was whining, basically begging for some type of release. It was always fun to see how far you could push him, how much you could get away with before he was becoming a mess of himself. 
Strangely tonight, though, you didn't feel like teasing. Wanted him just as much as he wanted you, if not more. And with this liquid courage cruising through your veins, you didn't care if he knew it. You didn't care who knew it. Jin has sparked Joon's argumentative spirit, claiming he was right about something that Joon literally based his entire life on.
It's not often you get to see Joon get riled up, especially in the face of a stranger. But the oddly sexy vein popping out at the side of his neck is very low on your list of concerns. No, your focus is on Jungkook and how you can get him from this room to upstairs a little more private.
“Koo,” His head snaps in your direction in an instant at the sound of your voice, cloudy eyes taking in your outstretched arms. Instantly putting together that you were beckoning him toward you, he doesn't waste a moment to stand in front of you. Palms settling down against the tops of your thighs, the coldness of them forcing goosebumps to rise on your warm skin.
Long legs stretching out to wrap around his hips, pulling him closer. You always wanted him closer. Fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him down closer to you. He kisses you immediately, hands wrapping around your thighs, using his grip to pull your body toward him. He's hard. Can feel it pressed right against your thigh, a curious hand dropping down his torso until you're able to reach him.
Jungkook flinches at the touch, hips jerking forward and teeth scraping against your lower lip. The subtle pain pulls a moan from your lips that's quickly muffled by the determined twist of his tongue. Hesitant fingers inch underneath the hem of your dress and then back down your thighs, up a little higher, and then back down. His fingers repeat their movement three times before you're pulling away from his lips.
“What are you doing?” Your words come out through a laugh, hands on either side of his face as you look down to watch his fingers on your skin. “I'm just checking...” All slurred and barely coherent, he's not looking at you instead he's tracking the movements of his fingers as if he was in the midst of creating a masterpiece on your legs.
You can't help the laugh that slips past your lips at his focus, fingers racking through his short hair. Pushing the fluffy strands out of the way so you can get a better peak at the look of concentration on his face. “Checking what?”
Dark eyes lift to find yours, teeth catching his lower lip as he searches your features. Looking for any hint that you were uncomfortable. That you wanted him to slow down. Something that you constantly caught him doing if the two of you were moving past a peck. It was sweet, nice of him to always be thinking of you. But it did make you feel fragile like you needed him to look out for you. Never did you like this feeling, but coming from him... it didn't feel so bad.
“How high up you'll let me go this time. Do you want me to stop?” There's a second question hidden in there. He wasn't just talking about his hands on his legs, but rather how far you were willing to go tonight. It's obvious because Jungkook was horrible at hiding what he was thinking, every thought written on his face at all times.
Which is why you're so quick to shake your head, using the hold you have around his waist to pull him further between his legs. His hardening length brushing against the crease of your thighs and you're humming at the feeling of warmth that spreads throughout your body. “Not yet. Keep going,”
That's all he needs to hear and it's like a switch has been flipped inside of him. Whatever restraint he had been using since you first jumped on him going out the window as his hands move higher up your legs, face nuzzling in the crook of your neck. His teeth catch your skin, blunt nails dragging their way to your ass and all you're left to do is whine and moan underneath him.
A hand running down the front of his pastel-colored pants to cover his crotch. Fingers flexing around his bulge, shamelessly palming him through his pants in the middle of Yoongi's kitchen. He's letting out a breathy groan, head falling back as his hips move in motion with your hand.
He looks so hot, it's almost unbelievable. Eyes squeeze shut, with his lower lip tucked between his teeth. Thick neck on full display, you can't help but lean up and kiss it. Sucking open-mouthed kisses into his skin, while your hand moves over him. 
“Fuck,” he groans, loud enough for just you to hear. The sound sending a pang of arousal pooling between your legs. “I want to fuck you so bad,” It's a drunken confession that he's barely aware of, his focus on his hands squeezing your ass over the fabric of your dress.
Leaning back enough so your eyes catch his, he's looking at you with such desire and want. A look that you're no stranger to, but it definitely has you feeling a little less out of control tonight. Tilting your head up, you press a soft kiss to his lips, pulling back just before his tongue is able to slither past your lips. 
“Wanna go upstairs?”
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MAY 9TH, 2020 | 00:57
Jungkook takes two steps toward you the moment Yoongi's bedroom door is secured shut. Hands on either side of your face, holding your head steady as he goes in for a kiss. A sloppy rushed kiss that pulls deep groans from his lips. Fingers curling in your hair while his hand drops low on your waist, pulling your body into his.
He's spent long enough holding on to restraint, not wanting to tip the scale in either direction in hopes to keep you from pulling back. Only going as far as you'd let him, but now you were giving him the green light for more. And although, he wasn't sure how much more you were willing to give... he was going to enjoy all he was able to take.
His mouth falls from yours, fingers moving toward the neckline of your dress. The same tiny dress you deemed too tight to wear anything underneath, besides the lace thong that does nothing but look pretty against your skin. With a fluid motion of his hands, your tits are spilling out the top of your dress, nipples peaking from the cool air circulating around the room.
His cock stiffens in his pants at the sight. Trying not to be obvious with the way the sight of your bare chest makes him drool. This was so far from being the first time he's seen boobs, but this was the first time he was seeing yours and that felt like the first time ever. He didn't know what to do with himself. Brain working overtime trying to figure out where to start. He wanted all of you, that much wasn't a secret. But he knew that he had to be careful, this was a privilege of course. A rarity. One wrong move and he fuck it all up for himself. 
The blank stare on his face does nothing for the pounding in your chest. Wishing that he'd just say something instead of staring the way he was. Not even looking directly at you. Did he think they were weird? Were you doing too much? Should you cover up?
Two strong hands wrap around your thighs, lifting your body off of the ground. Finally, finally looking up at you with those dark brown eyes of his. So easy to read, so filled with lust. For you. Long strides taken across the room and before you know it, your body is being surrounded by fluffy sheets and the smell of Yoongi.
“You're so perfect,” He sounds like he's in disbelief, shaking his head at his own words as he climbs onto the bed with you. Your head trapped on either side of his arms, hips pressed flush together. He fit so well between your legs.
Warm lips meet yours, tasting heavily of alcohol and his fruity lip balm. He's swallowing the moan that falls from your lips, tongue pushing against yours as his hips move in a slow rut. Kissing you breathless with his hand wrapped around one of your breasts, thumb flicking against your nipple. So easily pulling moans and whines from your lips with a simple flex of his muscles. “I can't believe I'm with you,” His words murmured against your lips, but your heart is standing at full attention, ready to swell in his favor.
Pulling back only to leave a trail of wet kisses down the length of his neck, mapping his way to your breasts. A breathy cry of his name falls from your lips when his teeth scrape against the hardened nub. Chuckling soft, his eyes lift to meet yours as he wraps his lips around it. Tongue moving just as it had been inside your mouth and you can't help but wonder how it'd feel in other places too.
Always ten steps ahead of you, Jungkook's hand outlines the curve of your breasts all the way down to the dip of your waist, passing your hips until the tips of his fingers catch the hem of your skirt.
He pulls off your chest with a pop, a thin line of spit connecting his lower lip to your skin. His tongue juts out to break it while his gaze lowers to watch himself reveal more and more of your skin with each movement of his hand. It's not long until your entire dress is bunched up at your waist, the maroon thong you had shimmied into on full display for his greedy eyes.
The growing wet patch between your legs is all he can seem to focus on. Jungkook startles you with his quickness, head dropping between your legs in an instant. Arms looping around your thighs to hold them apart, nose nudging against your covered clit as his tongue flattens against your slit.
“Holy fuck!” It's like someone has lit your entire body on fire. Back arched off the bed and toes pressed against the sheets. He's letting out a laugh, the prettiest sound you've ever heard paired with that toothy grin of his. Three gentle kisses are placed right on top where his tongue just had been.
Reaching down to find his soft head of hair, you gently drag his face up away from your sensitive pussy. His nose bumping against yours and his stiff cock resting just above your clit. Much harder than before and you can only guess why. Yet, despite his obvious arousal and his desperate want to continue, he's still able to compose himself enough to ask.
Pressing the softest of kisses to your lips, fingers pushing strands of your hair out of the way. “Keep going?” Silently hoping that you answer in his favor. Pretty much over the moon when you're nodding, hips lifting to meet his. It's his turn to curse, teeth cutting into his lip to keep from being too loud.
Kind of hard with the way you were grinding against him. Even through your useless panties, his boxers, and pants, he could feel you. How warm you were, wet too. So sure that his fingers would slip right in. How many would you actually be able to take? Just one? Two? Maybe three?
Had to be at least three if you expected to take his dick after. Never one to brag, but Jungkook was a decent size. Thick in the places that it mattered most, long enough to boost his confidence. Definitely took pride in the way your eyes would go wide when seeing it. Were you thinking about it too? Him fucking you.
“Yn, fuck.” He's hissing through clenched teeth, only now noticing the work you've done at the front of his pants. Buttons undone and fly wide open, your warm hand down the front of his briefs to fish out his throbbing length. It only grows harder in your soft grip, twitching at the brush of cool air.
It takes two of your small hands to cover him, the pink mushroom tip peaking out from your closed fists. Hands twisting in opposite directions and he doesn't even hesitate to fuck into the hole you've created. Eyes fluttering as breathy moans fall from his lips, heavy balls slapping against your covered pussy.
Jungkook's got a firm grip on your breast, the other hand clutching the bunched up fabric of your dress. Head bowed as he watches his cock disappear and reappear between your hands. He has no shame in the fact he's imagining it's you he's fucking. That he's being squeezed by the tightness of your walls. Imagining that you're reaching your limit too, instead of him selfishly getting his release. Every single time.
He loses it when you're sitting up, spitting into the palm of your hand to create a much wetter slip for his cock. Hands tightening around him and moving at a much faster pace. He's gasping and groaning, fucking forward as if he's buried inside of you. And you're close too, it makes him feel a lot better about the loud way he spills his load onto your stomach.
Warm and sticky against your clammy skin, you're lifting a hand off of him to dip your fingers into the mess. He watches the way you drag through it, bringing your index finger up to your mouth. “Oh, God.” He groans, earning a pretty giggle from you. His mouth is on yours again within an instant, fingers tangling in your hair as his tongue rolls around the inside of your mouth.
Tasting himself on your tongue and that just makes him want you more. “Please let me taste you.” His eyes still feel heavy and his body too, but that's the least bit of his concern. He wants to make you feel good. It's only fair, with the way you're constantly catering to him. You deserved it. “Please,”
Not even worried about sounding desperate or even whiny, he just wants you. He wants you to want him. And you do. Have wanted him since the first time you met him if you're honest. Tonight all of that was only amplified, a mixture of the alcohol and the realization of how quickly you had fallen for him.
Didn't even realize it was happening until it was done. Jungkook was quickly becoming it for you. Not a day went by where he wasn't on your mind, yearning to see him, to talk to him, to kiss him. Needy in ways that were nearly foreign to you. Always so good at keeping it together, but when it came to him you just couldn't.
And you didn't really want to either.
“Okay,” His face breaks into this huge smile and you can't help the laugh that falls from your lips. “Okay?” He has to check, make sure that he's hearing you right. And when the sound of your laugh fills his ears, followed by another confirmation he's almost ready to jump for joy.
Springing up, he's shrugging his shirt off. Wiping the drying cum from your stomach as a true gentleman would. Tossing the dirty fabric to the side, he's shifting to lay on his back before you're stopping him. “Take this one off too,” Reaching for the sleeve of his undershirt and he doesn't waste a moment before tugging it over his head and tossing it to the side.
He's moving to lay on his back before you're allowed the proper time to admire his well worked on chest. The ripples in his stomach that can only be accomplished with hours upon hours in the gym. His head lifts to find you sat up in the same spot, this quizzical look on his face which you return with a laugh.
“Come sit on my face,” He says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, reaching out for your wrist, to gently drag you toward him. Your eyes are saucers, cheeks flushed at the thought of being sat up on him like that. “Why?” It's obvious to the both of you why, but you wait for his answer anyway.
His shoulders lift in a slight shrug, lips stretching into a slow sexy smile. “I've always wanted you to sit on my face,” He's so calm about it too as if he didn't just admit to the dirty secret thoughts that bounce around his head when the two of you are alone. You're so inclined to give this man whatever he wants that you don't bother to fight it anymore, simply lifting yourself up to stand over his head.
Taking in the way he's smiling up at you like a kid on Christmas, arms looped around your legs to help you lower yourself onto him. The tips of his fingers latch onto the waistband of your panties, tugging them far enough down your legs so he's getting a good look at your bare pussy.
Lips glistening with your arousal, slightly puffy from the bit of stimulation. There's a small patch a hair above it, trimmed into a neat triangle. Almost like an arrow saying: Jungkook's mouth goes here. And he's forever one to follow a sign. With his arms looped around your thighs, he's lowering you comfortably over him. He lands an open-mouthed kiss on your clit, using the grip he holds on your thighs to hold your body still.
Gasping, your hips jerk, body lunging forward to brace yourself on his stomach. “Fucking cute,” He murmurs into your pussy, head tilting to the side so his tongue can reach deeper inside of you. Paying close attention to the sounds of your whines to make sure that you're enjoying yourself just as much as he was.
Much sweeter than he had thought, arousal dripping down the sides of his lips. You've got a tight grip in his hair, hips moving in stuttered thrusts against his mouth. A hand pressed onto his stomach, nails scraping against the skin. He's cautious with introducing his fingers to the mix, teasing your hole slowly before he's pushing one in. Cock stiffening at the loud wail that leaves your lips, legs spreading wider for him.
It's never felt this good. Not when you're alone with your own hand down there. His is much longer, thicker. Reaching deeper inside than you ever could. With lips latched around your clit and a single finger fucking inside of you, Jungkook's pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven. The sounds of your moans being the welcome bell.
His tongue moving around your clit in quick circles and he swears he feels your walls clench around his fingers. So wound up, it's not long before you're nearing your end. And he takes the chance by pushing another finger alongside the first one, much tighter and harder to move but the sound that leaves your lips eggs him on.
“Shit, baby...” He pants against you, the warmth of your hand around his shaft making him lose focus. You stroke him lazily, barely able to keep your head up with the way he's making you feel. But you manage, tongue poking out to roll against the tip. His whines vibrate against your pussy and throughout your entire body, forcing an involuntary roll of your hips.
Fingers plunging deeper inside of you as his hips lift, cock brushing against your lips at the same time he's curling his fingers. Pressing against the rough patch that has you spiraling out of control, hips bucking against his face and grip tightening in his hair. “Jungkook, fuck! I'm...” Pretty much delirious at this point because he has no interest in letting up, determined to knock you over the edge if it's the last thing he does.
A string of curses leaves your lips. Sloppy kisses landing on his length, a failed attempt to muffle them. All at once you're feeling pressure build and snap in the pit of your stomach, a wave of heat washing over you. Your legs shake on either side of his head, loud cries of his name and incoherent sentences falling from your lips.
Jungkook holds you steady through all of it, the movement of his tongue slowly as you come down. Lips puckering to plant a gentle kiss to your lips, just as your body is falling limp against his. Slowly pulling his fingers from inside of you, he doesn't waste a moment with sucking your juices from them, humming contently at the taste.
“So sweet,”
Shifting in his hold, you move to sit on his lap. His nose, mouth, and chin are shiny with your arousal, cheeks flushed and eyes hooded, hair a knotted mess. He looks absolutely fucked out and it's so hot. Lowering yourself, your mouth is finding his, tongue plunging into his mouth as you lower your body. The tip of his cock nudging against your clit, forcing a moan from your lips.
All it would take is a certain angle of your hips and he'd be sinking inside of you. Stealing away your virginity with a single thrust of his hips. You wanted that so bad. With him. Only him. “Jungkook.” Sighing his name out, his cock twitches between your legs. And from the way his eyes go wide, you can tell he's just noticed how close you actually were. 
“I want you to fuck me. Please, Kookie,” There's slight whine in your voice, but you don't care how desperate you sound. You've never wanted something this bad. Felt it in your chest, your stomach, your core. You wanted him.
He doesn't say anything for a while, eyes scanning over your features for a little longer than you'd like. Before he's letting out a soft sigh, his hand reaching up to push his hair back on his head. Sitting up with you in his lap, his hand lifting to wipe at the wetness around his lips. “Fuck, princess. Not tonight. Not yet,” Two large hands set on your shoulders, he's offering up an apologetic smile.
A pout is already forming on your lips. You can't help it, your brows just seem to automatically furrow and your lip pushes out. “Why not?” His hand is lifting to pat your hair, head tilting up to press a soft kiss to the tip of your nose.
“Because, when I fuck you... I'm gonna fuck you.” You'd think he was explaining the cuteness of puppies with the way he was looking at you. The tone he was using. “And you've been drinking. I need to make sure you remember every second,” His fingers rub against your scalp lightly before he's going in for another kiss.
Not even a moment is granted for the sting of rejection to settle in. The moment he's pulling away and gently nudging you off of his lap to redress, there's a loud knock on the door and you're becoming all too aware of the party that was still going on downstairs. A loud crash follows the knock and you can hear shouts from two very familiar voices.
And then another, much harder knock. Joon's voice sounding from the other side. Hurriedly explaining all the commotion going on downstairs. 
“Hoseok and Yoongi are fighting!”
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— known for your body and surrounded by rumors about your sex life… rumors that he doesn’t think to doubt. until he’s meeting you… forced to realize there’s much more to you then the thonged shorts and lacy costumes.
⤪ masterlist ⤨
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A/N: timestamps make sense throughout the fic. if u want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask! + if you’ve asked to be on my permanent taglist, you do not need to ask to be added to this one !!
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amimimi · 4 years ago
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joe and cherry taking care of their drunk s/o
synopsis: in which joe and cherry take care of your drunk ass
pairings: joe x reader, cherry x reader
warnings: drinking, getting sick, suggestive themes, swearing, slight spoilers in joe’s part
notes: i separated the joe and cherry head canons from the langa and reki ones because I thought I was gonna make these a lot more suggestive,,,but i did not 🤥 i apologize in advance for any grammatical/spelling errors!
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JOE
will laugh at you
in a good natured way, of course
he just thinks you’re so cute, he can’t get enough of you
joe and you go bar hopping for date night this week, which y’all have done in the past so it’s nothing too crazy
except this time around, you overdo it 😗
and joe thinks it’s the most endearing thing as you cling onto his biceps as you sway on your feet
he holds you by your elbows, grinning down at you as you blearily smile up at him
you both are standing near the dance floor, as you struggle to maintain your footing
“you good?” he calls over the music and you nod slowly, grinning even harder
“yea! you’re a great dancer!” you shout back at him and joe chuckles
“we aren’t dancing, baby cakes” he says, giving your elbows a squeeze
you frown
“oh...i knew that! i meant in general...” you murmur, eyes struggling to stay open.
joe purses his lip at you, before wrapping his arms around your waist. “i think you need some air, babe” he suggests and you nod sluggishly
guides you outside the bar and takes you across the street
the crisp night air doesn’t help you out all that much
you get sick and joe can’t even hold your hair back because he has to hold you to keep you from falling face forward
“okay, babe, let’s get you home” joe chuckles,
not even one bit worried
has a lot of experience with drinking/drunk people up his sleeve
honestly maybe the best person to care for you while you’re drunk
joe doesn’t panic or even if he IS concerned, he’s good at keeping a straight face (i’m thinking of the episode when ad*m hits cherry in the face and he’s the only one who doesn’t flinch)
he takes you in his swole arms (that man is built like an ox 😩) and carries you bridal style all the way home
entertains your babbling and carries a conversation with you no matter how nonsensical it is
if you think you see someone even looking at joe, you try cussing them out msnxjshwdghd
and joe’s like “haha, darling, my sweet dove, ☺️” and then turns to whoever you’re cussing out and says “they’re drunk, sorry about that!”
joe definitely takes you to his place
makes you take a shower! but he showers with you because he doesn’t want you to fall and break your nose or something
stands behind you, with his arms wrapped around you for support
rubs a loofah down your arms and torso
every now and then he’ll press a kiss against the side of your neck <3
joe wraps you in a towel and gently dries you with another towel
he makes you sit on his closed toilet seat and kneels before you to dry your legs with a smaller towel
he glances up at you to see you staring at him, slightly swaying and wrapped in a towel
“you like watching me work, don’t you?” he smirks
“i like watching your back” you reply, the alcohol numbing your shame and joe laughs at you
makes you brush your teeth
he places a hand over your forehead and holds you up by your arm as you brush
joe: “are you...are you swallowing the tooth paste??”
you: “...no...not on purpose”
okay, joe maybe slightly concerned
pulls one of his shirts over your head and laughs when your hair gets messed up
when you finally get in bed, you sleep in between joe’s legs with your head resting on his naked chest, arms wrapped around you
doesn’t mind if you drool on him <3 he just fondly smiles at you
CHERRY
HE IS NOT HERE FOR IT SKDUSKSJDJD
does not like being around drunk people—like he avoids it with a passion
someone he knows could be drunk as helll and he’d just be like “...and what the f*ck does that gotta do with me?”
obviously he won’t let anyone DIE, but prefers to take preventative action such as cutting someone off from having any more drinks than to deal with their drunk asses
and obviously, he’ll make an exception for you 😙
he’s not impressed tho 😗
like if your tipsy, he may find that endearing
but if you’re like—DRUNK DRUNK, like belligerently so...he’s gonna be like “*sigh*”
you probably don’t get drunk in public when you’re out with him to preserve his the respect of his business
so he’s probably having a night in, no S, no dinner with joe
he’s catching up on reading when his doorbell rings and he’s like “??”
cherry goes to peek out the peephole and — holy shit is that you? and who’s standing next to you??
he opens the door to see you, drunk off your ass, and barely standing on your own as you friend wraps their arm around you for support
when you see cherry, you perk up and smile “kaoru!”
“does this belong to you?” your friend grins at cherry, who’s just staring at you wobble on your feet like a newborn deer
“yes” he says slowly, a little surprised at how drunk you are
he reaches out for you and you all but collapse in his arm, cherry slightly straining under the weight
“okay, then! my taxi’s waiting, bye babe!” your friend calls to you and you sluggishly wave at them while hanging off of cherry’s waist
cherry makes sure you friend gets in the taxi safely before turning to you
“what have you gotten yourself into?” he sighs, hoisting you up and carrying you into his house
“just had a few drinks!” you chirp, wrapping your arms around cherry’s neck
“a few...” cherry echoes you flatly
“ maybe a couple!”
“...”
“ okay, maybe a lot”
doesn’t even wait for you tell him if you feel nauseous, he just carries you to the bathroom and sits you down in front of the toilet
ties your hair back as you babble nonsensically about how dangerous it is that he rides a skateboard
if you get sick, he gently rubs your back and murmurs soothingly to you
makes you wash your mouth out and brushes your teeth for you (he’s grumbling as he does it, BUT HE’S STILL DOIN IT)
he’s gonna save the lecturing for tomorrow so he just resorts to muttering under his breath, but he’s still very gentle with you
he bathes you! but then you tell him that he looks like your mother as he does it and he’s just like “😐 okay bath time over”
get’s you a silk robe and guides you into his bed
he runs to get you a class of water and when he comes back, he hears you sniffling as you lay with your back to him
“what’s the matter, love?” he asks gently, sitting down the bed next to you
he brushes your hair back to see you are, in fact, crying
you take a shaky breath as you struggle to sit up and look directly at him
“are you cheating on me with carla??” you ask wobbly, stealing yourself for his answer
cherry: “😐😑😐”
he just hands the glass of water to you and doesn’t say anything bc he’s TIRED
when you finish your glass, he places it on his bedside table as you sink into the sheets
“you didn’t answer” you murmur glumly, staring straight ahead
cherry looks down at you and tilts his head, brushing your hair back from your face, kinda smiling for that first time that night
“no. how would cheat on you with a skateboard?” cherry asks, slightly teasing.
“you literally make heart eyes with it...don’t laugh!” your lower lip begins to wobble as cherry slightly chuckles
“you’re so drunk” he smiles at you softly
you weakly nod in agreement as cherry continues brushing your hair back
“yea, ‘won’t do it again tho...thank you kaoru, i love you” you garble out, sleep overtaking you
cherry waits until you fall asleep to give you a kiss on the forehead,
he stays up a to watch you before he slides in next to you and sleeps facing you with your hand in his
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notes: i’m gonna do langa, reki, joe, and cherry all in one post for the sequel (?) to this where reader takes care of them when they get drunk!
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kpopsickiess · 2 years ago
Note
can you write a moonbae one where Jacob has bad allergies while him and Kevin are visiting Canada.
*anonymous request*
so, this is my first fic posted on this account.
Sickie: Jacob
Caregiver: Kevin
I'm not really familiar with Tbz, I know them pretty okayish, I hope this is well done.
Jacob p.o.v
I had just finished packing up the last of my clothing. I was so excited to head back to Canada. It was the first time I was going on vacation with Kevin, non-platonically. Last weekend Kevin had surprised me with tickets to go to Canada. "Cobbie? You finished packing?" Kevin peeked into my room. "Just finished"
"are you excited?" He asked, coming fully into the room hugging me from behind. "Very excited, did you finish packing?"
"almost, I was wondering if you had seen my red hoodie, the one that has Canada on it in white letters?"
"not sure, you could ask Juyeon, he might know, he helped me with my laundry"
"alright" he placed a gentle kiss on the back of my neck. "When you're done, do you want to stay in my room, because tomorrow we need to wake up early enough to head to the airport."
"sounds like a plan" he said before leaving the room. He returned about 25 minutes later, sweatshirt slung over his arm, and dragging his suitcase behind him.
~time skip~
Jacob's p.o.v
The two of us landed in Canada together, it was only 4pm, but we were both tired, it had been a long day of traveling. "Should we check into our hotel?" Kevin asked, the two of us had masks over our faces. "Yeah, I'm kinda tired"
"me too" I rubbed at my eyes, they felt dry and a tiny bit itchy, but I guessed that was from being tired. The two of us left the airport, and taking a taxi to the hotel. Once at the hotel we checked in, and went up to the room. The room was small but nice and cute, it had a cozy and romantic vibe.
The next morning we hadn't set an alarm or made any plans, we just wanted to have a relaxing day. Without schedules, or a company breathing on our necks every second.
We had planned on going to a park for a late spring picnic at lunch time, but besides that we didn't have much planned. We spent a lazy morning of cuddling, and Kevin dancing around to Beyonce music.
at about 2:30 the two of us got dressed and left the hotel. Once we stepped outside I was a bit shocked by how warm it was, considering it was May in Canada. And while I was excited that it was warm, because I loved the sunshine, I also wasn't super fond of it, because I also could tell that because of the warmer weather, the flowers would be blooming more, and I could feel the tickle in my nose and the slight burning in my eyes as we walked towards the park. Kevin and I walked close, but not too close, not wanting people to know that we are dating. We didn't care if people saw us together. All of our fans knew we are close friends so we didn't care if we went out in public together.
During the entire walk to the park, my nose had grown more and more itchy, and my eyes had started to sting a bit. Once the two of us had set up our area, we started to eat, Kevin and I bantered back and forth, enjoying each other's company with a rare amount of privacy. At one point the tickly feeling in my nose came to the forefront, I turned away from Kevin "hhhnt-CHU-hhht-CHUh-"
"oh! Bless you" I sniffled lightly and rubbed at my nose "thank you" he brushed some hair off of my face, I knew he was trying to check for a fever. He knows that the only time I sneeze more than once in a row is when I'm either sick or my allergies are acting up.
I continued the conversation, trying to act like nothing happened, knowing that if he knew my allergies were acting up he would go in to protective boyfriend mode. But before long I had to constantly keep my hand pressed to my nose, trying to keep the itch at bay.
"Jacob? Are you crying?" His voice distracted me from my nose, and brought attention to my eyes. I brushed under them, "no, just a bit tired from jetlag"
"are you sure about that?" He asked, voice laced with disbelief. He reached out and gently brushed under my eyes with his hand. And he just brushed my nose just right, and it was sensitive enough, that I had to turn away from him. "hhngt-CHU- heh- nngtCHU- hht-CHuH-"
"bless you" I thanked him, with my hand still over my face, reaching in to the bag to take out the napkins we brought and tidied up my face. "Jacob, what's going on? Are you sick?" I hesitated, if I said no, he'd know it was my allergies and he'd drag me home. If he thought I was sick, he'd also drag me home. "I'm not sick" I cringed at home stuffed up I sounded. "Allergies?" I nodded, rubbing under my itchy nose. "Did you take anything this morning?"
"I didn't know itd be this b-ahh-hngtchU- ngtcHU-" he cringed in sympathy, and handed me a napkin. I blew my nose, cringing slightly at the wetness. "Do you want to go home?"
"no, I want to have my date with you"
"But, I don't want you to be miserable."
"Kev, being sneezy, and itchy, does not mean I'm miserable. Honestly I'm kinda used to it."
He looked a bit unsure, "I'm serious Kev"
"fine, but I don't want to keep you here, this area is covered with plants, let's go into the town more with less plants" I wanted to roll my eyes at his overprotectiveness, but I didn't because I knew he was just being sweet. "Alright, let's go" the two of us packed up our things, having long finished eating. "I know a good ice cream shop pretty near by, if you want dessert. It fight feel good on our throat" I smiled, thinking it was so sweet that he remembered how itchy and irritated my throat gets when my allergies are super bad.
The two of us began walking through the town. Kevin hadn't stopped looking at me concerned, but at the same time, he didn't make any comments. The two of us walked into the ice cream shop, and after we ordered we sat down. Two teenage girls came over to us.
"h-hey, I'm Leah, and this is Maddy. We, we um.. we're big fans of The Boyz."
"thank you, it's always nice to meet The B" Kevin said smiling at the two girls. "Is it just the two of you? Or is all of the Boyz in Canada?"
"just the two of us. We felt a bit homesick"
"can we get a picture with you guys?" One of the girls, (Maddy I think?) asked. "Sure thing" the four of us stood together, and the girl who had first approached us took a selfie. "Thank you!!!" The two girls said together. "You're welcome!" The two girls walked away, waving to us as they went.
As soon as they were out of earshot, I buried my face into the crook of my elbow. "HhtchU- ngtcHU- hnghtCHU- hhtcHU-"
"bless you, you okay?"
"yeah, I was just trying not to sneeze in front of them" he nodded, reaching across the table and brushing something off my face. "If we weren't in public right now, I'd totally kiss you" he said, with a playful smirk. I rolled my eyes at the younger. I was used to his teasing. Whenever we went anywhere together he'd constantly ask me if he could kiss me. Which I told him no every time. Not wanting our relationship to be public. But that didn't stop him from constantly asking, and joking about kissing me as if no one else was there.
After the two of us finished we left the shop together, "what do you want to do now?" Kevin asked, looking around, and then slipping his hand in mine. "I kind of w-hh- hhngt-CHU- ngtcHU- hhtcHu- *sniff* want to go, I'm tired, and I'm starting to get a headache from my stuffy nose"
"sure thing babe" he looked around again, before gently kissing my cheek. The two of us went back to the hotel. "You should shower and change, that way you can get all the pollen off of you"
Once I finished showering Kevin took his turn, saying something along the the lines of not being able to cuddle me because he didn't want to give me an allergic reaction
the two of us cuddled for the majority of the rest of the day, Kevin made no comment about the sneezing, even though he likely was annoyed.
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syndxlla · 4 years ago
Text
Part eleven of the More To Love series
Summary: You get a chance to reflect on who you are, where you are with your relationships, and what you really want in life with the help of your mother, the Queen of Corellia. You meet some new seemingly friends, who quickly prove you otherwise.
Word Count: 7.1k, NO USE OF ‘y/n’
Warnings: Non-consensual kiss, swearing, alcohol
Author’s note: i am LIVID. why tumblr only lets you have a certain amount of paragraphs in a post IDK! it’s dumb haha and the only reason i went over is because there is so much dialogue in this. BASICALLY. I am making the decision to go easy on myself. I know earlier today I said part 11 would be split into two, but i am going to just make the second half be part 12. SO. i made a new moodboard for this chapter! i hope you like it :).
i wanna say a big THANK YOU to @stinky-child for helping me edit this chapter and getting it out on time!
PART 12 WILL BE RELEASED THURSDAY, MAY 27TH AT 6pm PST, 9pm EST.
part ten
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Koska escorted you back to your quarters, the castle corridors were finally starting to calm down a little bit, however, more and more special guests who would be staying in the palace over the weekend walked in and out of doors, most of them not paying any attention to you because of your drab attire. You hoped the knight made it to his meeting on time and dry. There was no way to know until tomorrow morning, however. Koska was silent as she walked behind you, her footsteps much lighter than the knight’s. Your hair was thick and frizzy from the effects of the elements, and you kept your face down out of a foreign sense of shame.
Keeping your face down can’t hide that sense of shame from everyone, however, and before you can make it to your room, you’re hearing a joyful gasp and footsteps pattering in your direction. You look up from your walk of shame to see someone very important to you, it’s not your Knight, it’s not even Soniee, no. It’s your mother, the Queen of Corellia. She’s accompanied by three Corellian guards and she’s wearing the most beautiful yellow gown you had ever seen. It was clearly a gift from Bo-Katan. You smiled brightly, relieved to see someone you love. It had only been a few weeks but it felt like an eternity. You had completely forgotten she would be coming to your engagement ball. You’ve been so preoccupied with the plans and teaching the Knight how to dance that it completely slipped your mind. Your mother had a wide smile on her face, too, and wore the traditional Corellian crown. You ran to her and embraced her fighting around the waist, something that was not appropriate for royalty in public like this but you couldn’t care less. You had been so emotionally confused over the last few weeks that there was nothing you needed more than a fulfilling hug from your parent. She hums with joy when you come into her arms, and she runs her slender fingers through your beautiful hair. You sigh of relief in her embrace.
“I had forgotten you were coming.” You admit, holding back tears of relief. She chuckles in response.
“You look a mess.” She replies and you’re the one to chuckle this time.
“I’ve had quite the day.” You smile, blushing as you remember who you spent it with. “Come, I have so much to tell you.” You pull away, holding her hands in yours and then leading her to the closest sitting room. You were finally starting to understand the layout of the Mandalorian palace, it only took two weeks. This room was the same blue as the royal color, you guide her to sit by you on the sofa, and Koska awkwardly follows. You look over to the handmaiden before standing and walking in her direction. “Lady Reeves, you are dismissed.” You nod while speaking in a regal tone, but after stating it, your voice hushes and you whisper to her, “Is he going to be alright?” You ask in reference to the Knight.
She nods once, “Even if he was late, he’s bound to duty by the Queen, he’ll be okay.” Your stomach twists.
“What does that even mean?” You ask, there is much he is not telling you.
Koska sighs, she seemed to regret saying that. “I’ll worry about him, you enjoy your time with your mother.” She nods to the Queen who was patiently awaiting your return. You smile a “thank you” and walk back to the Corellian Queen. When Koska closes the door finally, you slouch into the couch, feeling pure relief as you were alone with your kin.
“You look absolutely exhausted.” Your mother says.
“I am, life here is exhausting. There are so many rules, much more than back at home.” You awkwardly shrug.
“We miss you.”
“I miss you too, more than you know.” You were so homesick these days. “I had to spend four days learning all the rules and customs and I still take private lessons from the literal queen so I don’t embarrass her anymore.” You roll your eyes, knowing that you couldn’t express this arrogance to anyone else in the palace and taking advantage of the chance now.
“Oh, I'm sorry love, I worried that there might be a bit of a culture shock.” She takes your hand with hers, stroking the stop of it with her own cold hands.
“Is father here?” You ask, your eyes hopeful. That glimmer immediately fades when she sighs, her eyes leaving yours. “What? What’s wrong?”
“He’s not coming…”
“What? Why?”
“He’s… sick, I didn’t want to tell you but it’s your right to know. You would have eventually found out anyway.” She somberly explains.
“Is he okay?”
“Yes, we think so. But traveling and socializing in his condition was not realistic. We understand that rumors will start, but his health is necessary before an impending war.” She frowns, and you try not to let it upset you too much. “Enough of that, tell me about this place.” Her tone immediately flips.
You smile, “It’s so hot, much hotter than Corellia. I mean the heat is exhausting and the dresses are heavy and the tea parties are always outside and I always feel overheated.” You complain.
“Do you at least like the prince?” She asks. “Is he cute?”
Now you must choose if you’re going to lie, like you have for the last fortnight, or be truthful with the only person you feel that you can be. You sigh, and just look at her, defeated, hoping that would be enough to tell her.
She hums empathetically. “Oh dear.”
“Yeah…” You sigh, happy she understood and you didn’t have to make the decision of communication.
“Well, keep your head up, I didn’t really like your father all that much until we had you.” She chuckles.
“What?” You ask, your eyes showing surprise. “I had no idea…” You weren’t sure how much you liked that thought, your parents had always been an example of a couple you’d like to experience for yourself. “Why had you never told me?”
“There was no reason for you to know before now. The older you get, the more you’ll learn what you need to hear.” She explains. You supposed she was right. “And remember, it’s supposed to be a partnership—marriage that is— it’s not so bad if you work at it.”
“Well, he certainly likes being solo.” You humph. “He’s very kind, and it’s clear he cares for his kingdom but-“ You knew you weren’t being completely truthful with her.
“But what?”
You debated your next words. You wanted to tell her, more than anything you wanted your mother to know what was really going on, but you knew you couldn’t. You knew she wouldn’t understand. This marriage is a diplomatic solution to an oncoming war of her home kingdom. She wouldn’t understand the strife. “Nothing.” You feel untruthful to yourself, but you can’t do anything about it. “I just feel like I will be unhappy in our marriage.”
“Marriage isn’t supposed to make you happy.”
You hated that, it wasn’t the first time she had said it to you, either. When an arranged marriage was first brought up, she said it then for the first time. The other time she said it to you was about three weeks ago, just before you were going to leave Corellia and come to this ornate prison. It was your last attempt to try and get out of it, but she uttered those words and you had to live with it.
This time, you pulled your hand away from hers. “But what about love? I thought you loved my father!?”
“I do love him, but that didn’t happen for a long time, like I said, not until you were born.”
“So then what’s the reason for all this? For sending me here for a big ball and a fancy wedding if I am not supposed to love the man I’m sharing these parties with? How am I to enjoy marriage before children then?” You stand up on these words out of frustration. You hated feeling like your only purpose in this world is to bear children, to produce an heir.
“Love between royals is not a natural thing, it can’t just happen between any two people. There must be that connection there and it often isn’t developed for a while.” She chuckles. “What? Did you think you were going to live inside one of those fairytales your wet nurse used to tell you before you went to sleep?” She asks, looking up at you, surprised.
“What do you mean ‘between royals’?”
“We must do what’s best for our people, it’s selfish to marry for love when you are royalty.”
You feel defeated.
“No… No, there's so much more to love. Love is not selfish, in fact, I believe that loving someone with our hesitation and unconditionally is the most selfless act one could ever do.” Your voice raises just a bit. You meant every word you said.
“If you feel this way about love, then surely you must love the Prince. What’s the problem then? We’ve been preparing you for this reality for years, it’s not a new concept that you would not love immediately, I can only imagine you would feel so emotionally because you have those feelings for someone.”
Did you?
You consider what she was saying, your eyes trailing to the side as you thought. You supposed she was right, there would be no reason for you to feel so passionately about it if you hadn’t experienced it for yourself.
But you weren’t having that experience with Korkie, the hell you weren’t.
Did you love the Knight? You don’t know his name, you don’t know his face, you don’t know anything about him and yet you are starting to think that infatuation has grown into adoration. Your legs feel weak, and you have to slowly lower yourself onto the couch again, feeling woozy from the realization. How did you let it get so far? Your confused face turns to look at your mother’s, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open.
“I sense you realized something you didn’t already know.”
You slowly nod your head. Unsure of how to react, you fiddle with your fingers, trying to gain your bearings again. You expect your mother to speak up but she never does.
Before the conversation continues, however, the door is pulled open and three Knights are walking in, a Butler steps in, “Her Majesty, The Queen.” He says before nodding and stepping away. Bo-Katan glides into the room, regal as ever. You and your mother stand up from where you sat, curtsying for your hostess.
“Your Majesty.” She takes your mother’s hand, both of them smiling and kissing one another on either cheek. “I trust your travels were comfortable?”
“Yes, your coachmen were very hospitable.” Your mother nods.
Korkie then enters the rooms with another young Prince who you hadn't met before. He was blonde, and skinny as a twig. He wore a white and gold ceremonial cloak that covered his right shoulder. You smile at Korkie out of Obligation, and he and the other prince bow to the women in the room.
“Princess!” Korkie cheers, “This is my cousin, Prince Hugo of Bespin.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Your Highness.” He takes your hand and kisses the top of it, his smile charming and blue eyes bright. You were flattered by the gesture, humming.
“The pleasure is mine.” You follow royal protocol. Then, another woman enters the room. She’s tall, an intricate headpiece adorns long, black hair and she has hypnotic, black eyes hidden by deep set, hooded eyes. She’s beautiful, with toned skin and red dots drawn under her lips making her stand out from everyone in the room.
“Ah, Her Majesty Queen Clarya of Naboo.” Bo-Katan introduces. The Elven Queen Ahsoka then enters the room, and everyone, even the Queens bow out of respect before the door is closed. The parlor is suddenly very full, and your intimate moment with your mother is lost entirely. You are suddenly very aware of your disheveled look, and try to run your fingers through your hair a few times.
“It’s lovely to finally meet you.” Clarya says, smiling. “I’ve heard so much about you.” Taking your hand and giving you a friendly squeeze.
“Oh… I’m afraid I haven’t heard much about you.” You apologize.
“No troubles, You are all the gossip among the other Kingdoms.” The eastern queen explains.
“Yes, It appears you are.” Korkie says, moving to stand by your side. “How wonderful that my beautiful wife-to-be is regarded so highly across the world.” He tries to take your hand but you pull it away, not necessarily meaning to, but it was a reflex that you failed to suppress after realizing you were in love with an entirely different man. He clears his throat, and the aura in the room is awkward, you aren’t sure what to do, so you just say the first thing to come out of your mouth.
“Have any of you gone to the beach? It’s lovely!” You awkwardly smile before walking over to the drink cart underneath a portrait of a Manda’lor of a past generation. You try to ignore all the people, feeling a little embarrassed that they were all seeing you dressed like this. You didn’t even think of what suspicion could be born out of that phrase.
“Oh yes, our sandy beaches are widely loved by all.” Bo-Katan takes a seat on the sofa in the place you had sat at just moments before, crossing her ankles under her gown. You shakily pour amber liquid into a crystal glass, your hand shaking as you bring it to your lips, taking a sip of the alcohol.
“Nothing like the Corellian beaches, I assume?” Your mother asks. “Our beaches are rocky and often frozen over.”
“Ah yes, but the Corellian ship fjords are lovely, what a wonderful exposure to culture you raised your daughter with!” Ahsoka sings.
“She turned out alright.” Your mother teases and everyone chuckles warmly. You turn around after drinking, and sheepishly smile. Gods you hope she meant that.
“Well, we are all very excited for the ball tomorrow.” Clarya says, “My assistant worked on a mask for hours the night before we left. It will be an extravagant sight to see everyone dressed so festively.”
“Of course, but we all know none of us can compare to the fashion and extravagance of the Naboolians.” Korkie hums. Everyone chuckles again. You nervously looked out to all of them, you had just made possibly the biggest mistake of your life and none of them paid any attention to you despite it. You had just shown Korkie your first and only sign of true disinterest the night before your engagement ball and you desperately wished you could go back in time and take his hand instead of denying the act of affection, even if you didn’t feel good about it.
“I think you will all be pleased to hear that it was the Princess who came up with the Masquerade idea.” Bo gestures to you. You smile with your teeth, trying to act normal and not like you were secretly dying inside. There is general amusement when that is said, and you can’t help but fidget with the crystal alcohol glass, wanting to leave the room and return to the comfortable embrace of the Knight on the beach.
“Beautiful and smart!” Korkie’s cousin laughs, putting emphasis on the ‘and’. “It’s not every day you find a woman like that!” Everyone laughs again, and this time you force out a faux chuckle to seem more involved in the eyes of the others. “You better hang onto her, Kork!” Korkie smiled at his cousin's words, looking over to you. You feel weak, not liking all the attention. If this much attention was making you feel this way, what would the ball with hundreds of guests tomorrow night be like?
“Yes but, I can’t seem to remember going to the beach with you?” Korkie asks, his diplomatic voice cutting through the laughter. You nervously laugh. He knew something was up. How could you be so careless?
“What? Did I say something about the beach?” You try to play it off cluelessly.
“Oh come on, we all know you aren’t that ditzy.” His cousin groans
“Your fiance asked you a question, dear.” Your mother prods.
“Yes, did you go to the beach sometime during your time here?” Bo-Katan is the one to ask this time, and your legs are starting to feel unsteady.
“It’s not a bad thing, we just want to know.” Korkie takes a step in your direction, making you feel closed in. “We all love the beach here and we are happy you have gotten the chance to enjoy it.” You sensed there was an undertone with his true meaning.
You weren’t sure if you believed him when he said this, “Is it hot in here?” You chuckle, “I think I’ll have another drink, would you like one, Korkie? You ask before turning around and pouring another glass of brandy. He can see how shaky your hand is as you try to fill the cup. He stands behind you, wrapping his arm around you and cupping your hand with his in an attempt to make the pouring more steady. The action startles you, and you flinch as a reaction, dropping the crystal glass in your hand. It was already partially full, and it falls down to the floor in slow motion, golden drink splashing out of it as glass shatters on impact, making a loud, crashing sound that sends shards out across the floor and leaves a puddle of alcohol to soak into the bottom hem of Koska’s sister’s dress. The women of the room gasp from shock, and Hugo walks quickly over to see the mess. You look down at the glass in shock of what you just did, your heart sinking and stomach churning. Lady Tano is the next one to walk over to you, taking you by the shoulders and guiding you to one of the arm chairs, helping you sit down. The room was deathly silent now, you could hear your pulse ringing through your ears. Ahsoka crouches before you, ruling your hand with hers and trying to comfort you from the unexpected shock. Korkies hands are balled into fists. Was he angry with you?
“No worries.” Hugo laughs, trying to be an entertainer, “Butler!” The Butler opens the door.
“Is everything alright?” He asks after bowing.
“Yes, we just made a little mess, would you be so kind as to clean it up?” Hugo walks Korkie, who seems to be just as shocked and embarrassed as you, over to another armchair. The butler snaps and then whistles and three young maids come in, each one getting on their hands and knees to pick up the pieces of glass.
“Princess?” Your mother says, “Do you have something you would like to say to the Manda’lor?” She awkwardly asks, clearly trying to make good from the situation, side-eying Bo.
Your pale face turns to look at Bo, who had that same disappointed frown that you always see on her.
“My deepest apologies, your Majesty.” You clear your throat before painfully looking over to where Korkie sat, his hand resting in his palm and expression down turned.
“Well!” Hugo takes the center of the room. “No use in sitting here in silence, mistakes happen! Right Auntie?” He says to Bo.
“Of course.” She smiles, physically accepting your apology with a reassuring nod.
“Lovely, would anyone like some music?” He asks.
“That would be lovely, Hugo.” Lady Tano says in her ethereal voice. He smiles and walks over to the baby grand piano in the corner of the room, the same baby grand that you played at for your Knight a few weeks ago.
“The Princess plays!” Your mother says, trying to alleviate any tension.
“She does?” Hugo makes direct eye contact with you. “Would you like to play a duet with me?”
“Hugo, she just-“ Ahsoka begins but is interrupted by your mother.
“Oh won’t you play for us Dear?” She asks, smiling.
“Please! I have wanted to hear you play since I was told you could.” Bo-Katan asks. It would be rude to decline a request from the Queen and the Host of the night.
You nod and stand up, that could be just the thing you need to feel better. You walk over to the piano, stopping just before Hugo.
“Bass or Soprano?” He asks, muttering so quietly that only you can hear it.
“Soprano.” You say. He pulls the bench out and sits first since he would be playing the lower part. You then sit next to him, your hands still slightly shaking.
“Do you know the ‘Dathomirian Waltz’?” He asks. You nod. “Lovely, key of D minor then, I’ll follow you.” He pulls his hands up to the keys, and you follow, taking two deep breaths, the first to calm your shaking hands, the second to conduct both of you in at the same time. Together you play a set of intricate chords, Hugo emphasizing on the bass notes, playing a complex scale that brought his left hand over his right several times. You carry the melody, playing just slightly louder than him and allowing yourself to fall into the trance of performing. Your hands finally quit shaking after a few phrases of the music, allowing it to soothe your nerves. Music has always done that for you. All of the nobles in the room smile, the Naboolian Queen sighing at the beauty of the complicated piece. You can’t keep the smile from pulling on your lips. Korkie’s cousin was very talented, much better than you. His hand brushed against yours several times and you couldn’t help yourself from thinking about the Knight when Hugo touches you.
This was something you would never get with him. You would never get to share a memorable moment with others, never get to rub hands against each other in front of three Queens, never get to look one another in the eye without shame or secrecy. The thoughts start to overcome your consciousness, causing you to play a sour note. No one seemed to notice, but you were more aware of it than you should have been.
A beautiful piece, carefully composed and rehearsed, performed with the intent to dazzle, the intent to impress. However there will always be the sour note, an incorrect chord that the audience might not hear but those giving the show will dwell on undoubtedly.
Like the Kingdom of Mandalore.
——————————————
“Rise and Shine your Highness!” A sing-songy voice calls out to you before pulling the long, draping curtains apart and letting the warm Mandalorian sun pour into the room. You groan and flip over onto your side, your body is still exhausted from yesterday evening and you would like to sleep in a little longer.
“Oh, don’t give us that.” A more brash voice groans and you recognize it as Koska’s. You can hear a number of other bodies file into the suite, maybe three or four. The handmaid's pull in the elven dress and a light breakfast. You can still smell the salt water on your forearm as you swing your hand over your eyes. You were not a morning person. Koska walks up to your bed before sitting on the edge of it, placing her tan hand on your shoulder. “We’ve let you sleep in long enough, we have to get you dressed and ready for tea with the Queens.”
“Queens?” You mumble, slurring the ‘s’ out.
“Yup, both Bo-Katan and your mother as well as the Queen of Naboo and Duchess of the Felucian mountain Kingdom are all eager to spend brunch with you in the Garden.” More guests arrived this morning while you were still sleeping, but it wasn’t until Koska explained to you about the women waiting for you that you remembered what day it was. You opened your eyes wide, flopping your arm onto the mattress beside you and looking up at her drowsily.
“The masquerade is today.” You say out of realization. She smirks and slowly nods her head. Soniee budges into your conversation, sitting on the opposite side of the bed.
“We have two dresses for you to wear today! This one,” She pulls forward a gown that isn’t quite as full and round as the dress for the ball, but is still a lovely dress with a pretty skirt and pearls embroidered into the bodice. “And of course the elf dress.” She nods to the pink and gold gown that sat on a sewing-bust, shimmering in the light. “We won’t get you into the ball gown until later tonight.” She hums.
“Now, we have to get you cleaned up, your hair is a mess.” Koska stands up and pulls the heavy down comforter from off of you. The loss of warmth elicits another sleepy groan from your lips and you stare up at the ladies in waiting frustratedly. “Up!” Koska’s serious voice commands and you’re scared enough of her that you jump up out of bed, pulling the nightgown sleeve up that has been slowly slipping down your shoulder and showing more and more skin. “That’s better.” Koska hums, “Let’s get you a bath, yeah?” She walks towards the bath room, opening the golden gilded doors and into the naturally-light room. You will always admire the beauty and effort put into the Mandalorian palace despite the internal battle with living here. You follow her into the room, still sleepy and walking slowly but eventually making it to the tub in the center of the room. The bath has already been drawn, which they must have done in your sleep (they’ve never done that before). You strip out of the cream-colored nightie and dip into the warm water. It smelled of lavender and honey and you allowed your muscles to relax into the bubbles. It was perfect, exactly what you needed to clear your racing and stressful mind. Your muscles were sore from yesterday and the warm water and flowery oils soaked them blissfully. You sigh at the sensation but before you can enjoy it anymore, Koska is dumping the warm water over your head, wetting it completely. It’s unexpected and you gasp from shock, your eyes glued shut to keep the water out of them. Damp hands come up from out of the water to wipe your eyes but then another dump of water is pouring over your head and you’re back at square one. Koska was a much harsher bather than Sonnie was.
All is forgiven however when she starts massaging your scalp, cleaning your hair. You relax back into the tub and enjoy the seawater and wind getting rinsed out. The other ladies come in, one on either side of the tub who files your nails, and Sonnie brings in a towel and silk robe. The other handmaiden works at your calloused feet with a pumice stone and you try not to let it tickle too much. It was true pampering and you loved every second of it. Usually there’s only one maiden to bathe you but five was divine. You assumed this was the treatment the Queen always received.
After you are properly cleaned, your Corellian tea is brought in and you’re left alone for as long as you like. You slowly sip on the purple shaded drink, waking up from it’s comforting properties. You sigh deeply, allowing the fragrant air to fill your lungs while you look out of the tall, narrow window in the center of the outside wall. You could not see the ocean from here, but instead the distant roofs of Keldabe. It was a beautiful summer day, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and you could hear the birds who have nested in the nooks and crannies of the towers chirping. You knew you had a long day ahead of you, and you wanted to try and enjoy it as much as you could. You never really enjoyed the social aspect of royalty, and that’s all today will be, but you’re ready to brave it head on.
An hour passes before you are finally dressed in the first gown of the day. Your hair is braided back so that it will have a desirable wave for the ball tonight. You are snuggly tied into the pearled bodice of the dress, and you run your hands up and down the beading, allowing it to tickle your soft palms.
Koska pulls open the door, and you’re expecting to see the Knight standing there stoically as always, but he isn’t. The hallway is completely empty, in fact, and you can’t ignore the dreadful feeling that overcomes your body. Where was he?
You clear your throat, and look back at Koska, who was adjusting the skirt of your gown as you walked.
“Where is he?” You ask, your voice hushed almost to a whisper but not quite. There were a million possibilities behind his absence and not a single one of them was ideal. Koska lifts up from her crouched position, smoothing the front pleats of her dress.
“What?” She asks and you sigh out of frustration, there was absolutely no way she didn’t know what you were talking about but you had to be vague because of all the ladies in waiting listening in.
“Who will be accompanying me to the garden?” You say with a forceful tone, trying to prod at a deeper meaning to the question.
Luckily, Lady Reeves picks up on it, and she looks behind you. You felt like she was avoiding eye-contact and it only made you more stressed and confused. “I’ll be escorting you, Highness.” She nodded, moving a step forward and then taking the lead down the corridor. You follow hesitantly, and wait until you are far enough down the hall from the other ladies back in your suite to speak again.
“Don’t horseshit me.” You mutter behind her. She keeps her chin up high as usual. “He’s in trouble, isn’t he.”
Koska doesn’t answer.
“Koska, you promised me he would be okay.” You try not to let the emotion show through your tone but that was a challenge. You felt guilty for some reason. If he was in trouble, it would be entirely your fault. The words shake in your throat and maybe it’s the tight corset and the fact that you are descending the stairs but you’re out of breath and it’s hot, so hot.
“He’s fine, I swear to the stars.” She whispers, saying it straight forward instead of turning back at you in an attempt to stay calm and unsuspecting to watchful eyes.
“Well then why didn’t you tell me that?” You ask, twiddling your thumbs.
“I couldn’t… there’s more to it but-“
“But what? What could be so secretive that you have to keep it from your future queen?” You say through gritted teeth and immediately after, Koska is spinning around on the staircase and looking up at you with a furrowed brow. You felt like you were being scolded by an impatient tutor despite the fact that you out-ranked her.
“You don’t even want to be the Queen.” She says in a whisper-shout, starting to sound as angry and emotional as you were just moments before.
“You’re right, I don’t-“ You bite back.
“So why are you here, then?”
You aren’t sure how to answer, the obvious answer is for Corellia. You were promised something in return for your ability to produce an heir and look like a porcelain figurine on a high shelf. But you also knew it would make your family happy, and your Kingdom. You would be making them proud by marrying so rich. You made a promise.
But now you think you’re starting to stay for an entirely different and unethical reason. Something that is inherently a trap and you know it, and yet here you are, fussing over it at every change you have.
Koska rolls her eyes and scoffs before continuing down the stairs.
“Who spit in your porridge this morning?” You reply.
“You did.” She groans in response.
“I’m sorry, but what did I ever do to you?” You ask when you complete the steps down and start down another corridor, one section of the massive palace closer to your destination.
Koska is the one not to answer this time.
It infuriates you that everyone is keeping secrets from you, your entire experience in Mandalore feels built on deception and being left-out. And now, the two people who finally seemed to be on your side aren’t with you in one way or another on such a big day. Koska is angry with you for no reason and you have no idea where your knight is.
The rest of the walk to the Gardens is silent, and before you know it, you are plopped down on an uncomfortable wicker chair in the hot sun, sipping on lukewarm lemon tea and wondering how much longer you have to suffer. Your mother and Bo were giggling about something, the rest of the court buzzing with conversation and ignoring you as always. Was it possible that you were the problem? You ask yourself this after another sip of the tea, a lemon slice bumping up against your upper lip a few times. As you think, you hold the dainty cup against your mouth, losing yourself in thought without realization. Your pretty eyes stare down at the green grass of the Garden. The grass never gets green back home.
You start subconsciously bouncing your leg as you thought to yourself. Everyone seemed to ignore expect for Korkie and your Knight— who both want to fuck you. Maybe that was the only desirable thing about you. This wasn’t the first time you felt insecure about the relationship you have developed with the Knight. He’s so quiet, so different from you. Were you falling for a trick?
Was he?
Tea must have gone by fast because just before the pearls of your dress start to burn against your arms from the heat exposure, you’re excusing yourself and wandering back inside.
“Strange girl.” One of the noble ladies says to Bo when you walk away. You don’t hear it, you can’t hear anything except for your deafening thoughts.
“Are you sure she’s the one for your nephew?” Another asks. If you had known your mother was silent for all of this in fear of losing her reputation or even the deal between Corellia and Mandalore, you would have been furious.
“Well his father was an outcast, too.” One chuckles. “I guess you Kyrze’s attract the wallflowers.” A few hummed in amused response.
“Well his father wasn’t just an outcast, he was a downright scandal-“
“My sister loved him, and that is all that matters.” Bo interrupts. The laughter quickly dies out.
“Don’t tell me you believe in love, too.” One laughs.
“You aren’t married, what could you know of love?” The same one bo interrupted says.
“I do believe in love, which is why I am not married.” The Queen reiterates. “And I don’t think she’s the right fit for my Nephew, she’s too… outspoken. He needs someone who won’t outshine him.” They chuckle again, all do but your mother, who is still meekly silent.
“Well with the engagement Ball tonight, it is far too late to back out now.” One teases, and the laughter only grows.
Bo-Katan stares in the direction you left.
You huff down the hall, your arms folded and neck sweaty from the heat. You are looking back and forth, studying the layout of the hall in search of something. You’re looking for the smallest idea of where the knight could be but you aren’t very successful.
While all the fully armored guards of the Mandalorian palace are dressed identically, you are almost certain you would be able to spot your boy in a crowd of a thousand of them. You aren’t sure why, but there is something different about him, something that sticks out from the rest. Somehow you two were connected, and it made it so he was always plaguing your mind, even when you are with your literal fiance. Even when you are far away from him and have no clue where he is for the first time in two weeks.
Separation Anxiety.
You aren’t watching where you’re going, which makes you run into a tall, lanky boy. You yelp out in apologetic surprise, looking up at the person blocking your stressed search. A blonde boy flips around to look at you and you’re half expecting to see Korkie but it isn’t.
His Cousin, Hugo, looks down at you with his same charming smirk as always.
“Princess!” He bows.
“My apologies, Hugo!” You exclaim.
“Oh please, you are perfectly fine. You looked distressed? I hope It was not something I did?”
“Of course not!” You reassure, awkwardly smiling. “Uh- may i ask what you were doing in the center of the corridor?”
He chuckles, “Admiring this art.” He nods to an expansive, framed oil painting on the wall. It was of a tall man with a long face and alarming smirk. What stuck out to you, however, was that he held in both hands the same black sword from the royal portraits upstairs by the war room.
“The art is beautiful here.” You smile.
“Yes, my Aunt Satine worked hard to make it culturally rich.”
“Did you know her?”
“Yes, I am a bit older than Korkie, and I knew her for several years before she passed.”
“Are you… second in line?”
“I am.” He says with a classic amused smirk.
“So maybe you can answer a question for me, then.” You ask as you look up at the art. “What in the world is that?” You ask in reference to the blade.
“That, my foreign Princess, is the Dark Sword of Mandalore.”
“The what?” You cluelessly ask.
“A sacred weapon that the rightful ruler possesses, it’s rather powerful.”
“I’ve never seen anything like it before.” You look up at it in awe.
“Hah, yes. It is made of pure obsidian. The white is enchanted quartz veins. It is practically invincible, an elven Mand’alor forged it when he was just a boy.”
“What? There were Mandalorians who were part elf?” You ask, your eyes peeling off of the art and onto your companion.
He looks at you almost confused, “There is much you do not know about my Kingdom?”
“No… I’m afraid not.” You shamefully admit.
“Most don’t,” He shrugs and returns to the conversation unbothered, “It’s history is rather complicated.”
The two of you were quiet for a long time. Your eyes were glued to the stern face of the man in the portrait. You wondered who he was. Hugo is the first to speak up.
“You played beautifully last night.” You doubted he didn’t notice the incorrect notes and mistakes you made several times, maybe he was just being polite by ignoring them. You turn to look at him and smile kindly.
“As did you.” You return the compliment. He looks at you, and you must have been distracted by something other than him because you weren’t aware that his eyes were darting between your eyes and your lips.
Hugo forces a kiss on you.
Just like how Korkie did a few weeks ago in the library. It’s fast because you angrily pull away just as fast as he placed it on you.
“What?” You say like an idiot, looking up at him in shock.
“Oh come on, don’t tell me you don’t feel it?” He gets defensive immediately. The worst part is that it wasn’t even that bad of a kiss, much softer than Korkies, but nowhere as tender as the kisses the Knight would lay on you in the water or behind a closed door. Your entire body seemed to seize up, and you couldn’t get any words out. Not any words that you wanted to say. You just looked up at him, vulnerable and confused. He leans down to do it again but you’re able to turn your head to the side, keeping his lips off of you.
“I am… in love with another man.” You say, clearing your throat.
“You and I both know that isn’t my cousin.”
No use denying it at this point, “yes, but I am still engaged to him. I cannot just be disloyal to the future Mand’alor.” You mutter, embarrassed but trying to keep your cool. You knew you were lying, because you weren’t staying loyal to Korkie. No, you were outright cheating on him and you were falling in love with the boy you were cheating with. You were falling in love. You were very exposed, after all. Anyone could turn the corner or look through the windows and see you. It was different this time, however. Usually hiding your kisses are exciting, but that was only with the Knight. “Please,” You voice betrays you, and the emotional shake is heard through your clenched jaw, “Excuse me.” You push passed him frustratedly, making sure to shove him over a little with your shoulder. You angrily walk back to your room, finally getting there without help for the first time.
When you turned down the Corridor to your suite, you were hoping to see the beskar-clad boy who held you last night, but he still wasn’t there. You hold back emotional tears, but not seeing the one who brings the most comfort to you makes you break. Two crystal tears roll down your cheeks.
You have been taken advantage of too many times in this forsaken castle.
You pull open the door, the golden afternoon light reflecting warmly off of the gold-leafed furniture and decorations is a stark contrast from the bleak hallway. Your bed has been made, and things have been tidied up since you were in here last. You flop onto the mattress, your arms stretched out from your sides, looking up at the sheer canopy above where you lay.
Two hours pass. You think you fell asleep but you cannot remember. If you did, no dreams were had.
Soniee opens your door with trepidation after two soft knocks, “Princess, It is time to prepare for the ball.” Her voice is so timid. You twist your head to look at her, the other ladies from this morning were behind her. Koska was not with them.
You sit up from the bed, rubbing a crook in your neck from how you were laying...
authors note (again): i know this isn’t the best chapter ending but ya know... IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE
Anyways..... see you tomorrow? i guess? haha
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part twelve
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beskarhearts · 4 years ago
Text
The Marshal (Din Djarin x reader)
Tumblr media
gif credit @stwrsdaily
Connection series Pt. 12
Pairing: Din Djarin x f!reader (no use of Y/N)
Warnings: cursing, jealous Din and reader, a little ~sexual~ tension/mentions of sex (no smut), canon typical violence, chapter 2 spoilers
Word count: over 15.7 K words (ooof this is a long one)
Summary: Din and you land on Tatooine to find a Mandalorian, instead finding a marshal with a very specific request.
Notes: Did I finish editing this today and I decide I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to post it? Absolutely. Anyways, I really enjoy this chapter and I hope you all do too. As always, tell me what you think and enjoy!!
Previous Part ____ Next Part
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“Are we just headed straight to Mos Pelgo?” you asked Din as he sat in the drivers seat of the Crest, flying through canyons. You had reached Tatooine and though you had never been there before, it felt very familiar. It reminded you of Jakku in many ways: monotone and mostly desert, with the only distinguishing features being sand dunes or canyons. While this kind of terrain wasn’t your absolute favorite or the most beautiful, it put you at ease. It was something you were familiar with and could hold onto when in unfamiliar territory. And while you had heard rumors of Tatooine being a rough place to live, with many spending their lives fighting to just get water and avoid the scoundrels who were spread throughout the planet, even that aspect of it felt familiar. You were used to rough types and having to work hard to get through the day. 
“No. We have to stop at Mos Eisley first.” Din said, reaching over to press a button on the dash as he began to lower the ship closer to the ground. 
You furrowed your brow, leaning forward in the passengers seat to look out the window where you saw small spots in the sand pop up, probably Banthas. “How come?”
“I looked at a map, can’t find that town anywhere. I know a mechanic who might be able to help out.”
You let your jaw drop slightly, looking over at him incredulously but also playfully, letting one of your eyebrows quirk up. “Are you cheating on me with another mechanic? I thought I was your favorite mechanic.”
Din shook his head at your dramatics, not letting a chuckle out this time as he continued to focus most of his attention on flying over the hills and through the canyons. “You are. She is a friend and I trust her to help.”
You couldn’t help the way your stomach lurched at his explanation. Din didn’t really talk about any friends, only saying he had a few there and there. You had bothered him for more information on these ‘friends’ of his, but he always gave you a classic Din answer: nondescript and vague in every way. You definitely would of remembered if he had mentioned a friend on Mos Eisley. A mechanic friend who was a female. A female he trusted in a galaxy where there were very few people you were able to trust.
You instantly felt ridiculous but couldn’t help the way your eyes furrowed and the gears in your mind went off, thinking of every possible situation in which this woman was anything but ‘just a friend’. Din hadn’t known you for that long in the grand scheme of things. That means there were people before you. Perhaps female companions who had kept him company. You supposed it wasn’t impossible. He was a man after all. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that it was very much a possibility that he had some ‘friends’ spread throughout the galaxy. 
 “A friend.” you tried not to sound so pinched up, like you were talking about something that absolutely disgusted you. But you knew he heard it when he slowly turned to face you for a second, his helmet tilting just the tiniest bit.
A chuckle passed through his modulator as he saw your face, shaking his head in response as he turned back to pay attention to where he was flying. “Are you jealous?”
You stubbornly put your arms over your chest, raising your eyebrows as if what he said what the most lubricious thing in the world and not absolutely true. You shouldn’t even be jealous. You didn’t have a claim on him. For all you knew, you were just two very close friends. Who happened to kiss and spend nights sleeping in the same beds. Who happened to whisper sweet nothings to each other and run your hands through each others hair at night. You know, just that casual friendly stuff everybody does...
“Uh, no. That would be stupid.” You let out a laugh after, trying to show just how not jealous you were. But it was dry and sounded forced and if anything, it expressed just exactly how jealous you were.
“Really?” you heard the tone of his voice, knew he read right through you, even though he wasn’t looking at you. 
You rolled your eyes and turned away from him, hoping your face wasn’t as flushed as it felt. “No way. Can’t wait to meet this friend of yours. Maybe she is a hot babe.” You looked over at him quickly, to see if he would nod in confirmation or say something to give you a hint.
Instead, Din just broke out into complete laughter, a sound like sounded so sweet like honey to your ears usually but now it just made you scowl. “I think you will like her.”
The ship suddenly lurched, starting to land into a hanger of what was obviously a Spaceport. It wasn’t the nicest, but far nicer than the one you had worked at in Jakku. Definitely larger and it looked well taken care of. You couldn’t help the way you narrowed your eyes, trying to find this mysterious female friend but you only saw port droids scurry away as the Crest landed. No sign of any hot babes. Once parked, Din looked over at you. “She is going to insist on working on the ship.”
“You are letting someone else work on the ship?” you said with shock. Not only was there a possibility of a hot babe, but a hot babe who was going to touch the ship you worked on? You knew the pang in your chest wasn’t necessarily because of her touching the ship, but the idea of her touching the other hunk of metal that sat before you.
“I though you hated this ship?”
You pouted slightly, tightening the arms across your body. “I do but it will miss me. I may not be your favorite mechanic, but the Crest loves me.”
Din chuckled, starting to head down the ladder and leave your dramatic antics behind, into the hull where the child was sat in the hammock. You followed him down to find Din grabbing the child and putting him in the bag on his waist. “You ready to see an old friend, kid?”
The kid just looked up, not being the one to respond as you let out a gasp. “The kid knows this mysterious friend? I feel very out of the loop.”
“And not at all jealous.” Din responded and you froze in your tracks as Din began to open the hull of the ship, walking down the ramp without you and leaving you stunned in your spot.
“When the hell did I allow you to get so cocky?” you muttered, shaking your head in wonder.
“Hey, hey, hey! Sorry, gang. Come on! You know he doesn’t like droids!“ you heard the yelling from inside the ship, accompanied by the clatter and beeps of droids. You felt intrigued right away. It was definitely a female, but it didn’t sound like what you had expected (maybe because you were expecting some sultry voice but that didn’t matter). It was higher pitched but sounded older than you would of guessed. Please, Maker or Force or whatever, don’t let this be a hot babe. 
You straightened your shoulders, trying to keep a blank face and let the red of your cheeks calm before strolling down the ramp of the Crest, arms still crossed over your chest. But you didn’t even make it halfway before you froze on the ramp, the woman coming into view. That was not what you were expecting. She was yelling at the droids, her brown curly hair frizzy from the heat of the planet. She wiped her hands on her jacket as she walked over, looking at Din but not seeming to notice you yet. She didn’t smile, just looking already exhausted by his presence and exasperated, as if ready for him to bother her entirely too much.
Shit, Din was right. You were going to like her.
“May as well let them have at it. The Crest needs a good once-over.” You couldn’t help but to let your jaw drop. You didn’t know if she detected the teasing edge of his voice but you heard it clearly, watching as he turned just slightly to look at you with a tilted helmet, as if asking ‘is this what you expected?’ You wanted to storm down the ramp and punch him in the shoulder, but instead you tried to hold back the grin from your face.
The woman continued to ramble on, her attention now focused on the droids as she huffed away at them. “Oh! So he likes droids now. Well, you heard him. Give it a once-over!” She huffed and looked at Din. “I guess a lot has changed since you were last in Mos...”
She finally looked over his shoulder as you resumed your way down the ramp, her eyes widening and the areas where her brows were supposed to be shot up. She looked over at Din and then her head whipped down over at you as you finally stopped next to Mandalorian. “Oh, Maker. It’s a woman!”
“Well, I’m glad that is clear.” You responded with a grin.
The woman looked back and forth between you and Din, the shocked expression not leaving her face even a bit. Her lips were moving, as if she was trying to find something to say to convey the shock she felt. She finally set her sights on Din, raising a brow. “What happened? What did you do?”
You chuckled at the accusatory tone as Din just looked over at you. “This is Peli Motto, my friend.” He placed extra emphasis on the friend and you could feel the grin that was on his face. “Peli, this is my...” Din paused, his helmet still aimed at you.
You just looked back at him, waiting for his response. You suppose he could say friend or maybe coworker of some sort, though that seemed like a mockery to the relationship you now had. But what else would he say? Girlfriend? That sounded silly. Companion? Now that was just ridiculous sounding. You guys hadn’t spoke about it but you couldn’t even imagine Din saying any of those words, nonetheless to another person. 
The silence continued on for an inordinate amount of time, the expression on your face not even breaking Din out of his newfound trance. “I’m a friend.” you slowly said, filling in the rest of the sentence. Din just nodded before turning back to Peli, whose look of shock was now replaced with obvious confusion.
“Well that was weird.” She said, stating the obvious and you may of laughed at it if it weren’t for how uncomfortable the situation was for you.. “Where is the kid?”
Din grabbed the satchel on his side, holding it up so Motto could look straight at the kid. The child seemed to recognize her, staring straight up at woman. A grin broke out on her face instantly and she threw her hands up in joy. “Oh! Thank the Force! This little thing has had me worried sick. Come here, you little womp rat.” 
You chuckled as she called him by the same nickname you often used, her hands reaching out for him and bringing him into her arms, her body starting to sway just slightly. She chuckled as the kid stared up at her. “Looks like it remembers me. How much do you want for it?” She paused just a moment, before continuing. “Just kidding. But not really. You know, if this thing ever divides or buds, I will gladly pay for the offspring.”
“We’ll get working on that. Make it a booming business.” you responded and she looked up at you with a grin.
“She is funny.” She directed the statement towards Din who sighed. “Where did you find a funny woman who was willing to stick around with you?”
“Lots of credits and no contact with the outside world.” You sarcastically responded but her face just dropped in shock, obviously believing the statement.
“She is kidding.” Din responded and you couldn’t help but to laugh at the exasperation in his voice.
“Oh, kriff. Good!” She looked back at you. “Seriously though, why are you with this guy?”
You chuckled at her question, looking over at Din briefly. “Let’s just say he is lucky the kid is cute.” You teased.
She nodded. “That’s the only reason I let his hunk of junk park here.”
“And not because of the credits?” Din asked.
Peli scowled in response, about to answer when her attention was broken by a loud bang. “Oh, geez. Watch what you’re doing up there! He barely trusts your kind! What, you want to give all droids a bad name?” She continued to yell at the droids, one of which got an air tube stuck to his face. 
You leaned into Din a little as she turned away, whispering, “What is with the whole droid thing? You don’t like them?”
“Long story. Don’t mind them now.” he briefly responded and you told yourself to remember to ask him about that later.
Peli suddenly looked back over at you two, eyes narrowing as she saw how close the two of you stood together. You took a small step to the side but her gaze remained steady. “I’ve got to ask. How did you get such a pretty girlfriend? This makes no sense.”
You brought your hand up to your mouth, trying to not choke or laugh at the question. You felt your face flush brightly and you just looked over at Din who stood frozen, just looking at Peli. “I need your help.”
The statement was made to avoid the question but she still scowled at the response. “I assume she is at least.” Her gaze dropped down to you. “Am I right? Because I think I’m right and I have lots of questions if I am. Like why? How? Does he take the helmet off or does that stay on during-”
“You know, we really do need your help actually.” You interrupted, wanting her to stop because you had no clue how to answer any of those questions and fearing what else she would say.
She rolled her eyes, clearly not happy with the lack of answers to her many questions but just nodded. “Fine, then business you shall have. Care for me to watch this wrinkled critter while you seek out adventure?” The question was said hopefully, her arms wrapping around the kid tighter.
“I’ve been quested to bring this one back to its kind.“ Din responded and she chuckled.
“I can’t help you there. I’ve never seen any like it. And trust me, I’ve seen all shapes and sizes in this town.” She looked over at you. “You wouldn’t believe it. Shocking.”
You laughed at her expression, thinking you could probably share a few stories of your own with her. “You’ll have to tell me some time but for now, we need to find a Mandalorian that is supposed to be here.”
“That friend of yours has been the only Mando here for years from what I can tell.” She stated and you sighed. Just like Din had thought.
“Where is Mos Pelgo? I’m told there’s one there.” Din asked.
“Oh. Boy, I haven’t heard that name in a while.“
“It’s not on any map.” You said and she nodded.
“That’s ‘cause it was wiped out by bandits. Once the Empire fell, it was a free-for-all. I didn’t dare leave the city walls. Still don’t.” You couldn’t help but to sigh. Couldn’t Din have to go somewhere that was nice? Just once.
“Can you tell me where it used to be?” Din asked and she shrugged.
“Depends who’s asking. I’ll let you and your friend see it.” She smirked at the way she said friend before shouting to a droid, “R-5! Bring the map of Tatooine.”
You watched as a R5 unit strolled over rather slowly, continuously beeping in response. You noticed a panel on the back of it’s head that looked busted, looking like it was a bad motivator.
“No, take your time.” She looks over at you two, shaking her head. “Seriously. You just can’t get good help anymore. I don’t even know who to complain to! Let’s go, let’s go.” The droid responds back with a melody of beeps, seeming to be yelling at Peli in response. 
The droid finally stopped moving, projecting a map which Peli reached over to touch, moving it around and pointing at it as she began to talk. “This is a map of Tatooine before the war. You got Mos Eisley, Mos Espa, and up around this region, Mos Pelgo.”
You squint your eyes, trying to look into the map at where Mos Pelgo was but finding absolutely nothing. Like you had observed earlier, Tatooine seemed to just be a giant desert with a few sparsely located towns and not much else. “I don’t see anything. Is this the right map?”
“Yep. It’s there. Or at least it used to be. Not much to speak of. It’s an old mining settlement. They’re gonna see that big hunk o’ metal long before you land.” Her head tilted towards the ship and you nodded. She was right. A town small enough to barely appear on the map would definitely be alarmed to the presence of a ship, especially one as large as Dins. 
“You still have that speeder bike?” Din asked and you felt yourself get excited. You had always wanted to get a speeder bike, almost getting all the parts to fix one you had found on Jakku but that had been stolen before you even had the chance to learn how to fix it. 
“Sure do. It’s a little rusty, but I got it. Let me get it ready.” She said, beginning to stroll away. 
You looked over at Din with a grin. “Can I drive the speeder bike?”
He looked over at you. “Do you know how to ride one?”
You twisted your lips and shrugged. “No, but it probably isn’t too hard.”
“It is harder than you’d think. I’ll drive it that way you don’t kill us.”
You huffed at his sarcasm, crossing your arms over your chest as you looked up at him quizzically. “I wouldn’t kill us. I’ve always wanted to ride one.”
“What if I promise one day we’ll get a speeder bike and I’ll teach you how to drive it?”
You bounced on your feet, grinning up at him. “Really?”
“Yes.” Din nodded.
You looked up at him, beginning to step a little closer to him as he aimed his helmet down to look at your face. “It is a shame there are people and droids around.”
“Why is that, sweet one?”
“Because I really want to kiss you right now.” you stated and watched as Din shook his head as if trying to not get flustered. You giggled, still smiling brightly up at him even as he turned away from you, seeming to make sure no one was nearby.
“Didn’t know speeder bikes would make you this happy.” He said, quieter than he had spoken before.
You bit your lip. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for a hunk of metal.” You winked at him as he chuckled at your statement.
“Oh yeah, this looks just like a friendly conversation to me. Nothing more.” You looked up to find Peli staring at you two, shaking her head. You bit your lip, trying to bite back some laughter as she looked at the two of you with discontent, clearly wanting more information. Instead of saying anything, you and Din just looked right back at her and she rolled her eyes, placing her hands on her hips. “Your speeder bike is ready to go.”
__________
“We need to stop for the night.” Din said loudly, speaking over the wind that rushed past your ears. The speeder bike was a little rocky, not in the greatest condition, but it was fast and thrilling. You had now spent hours riding on it, sitting behind Din and holding onto his waist. The child had been sat at his side, his little ears flapping in the wind as he smiled and giggled. Much like you, he absolutely loved the speeder. Had spent most of the time just letting the wind rush past him and occasionally cooing loudly if you hit a bump or moved sporadically, loving the thrill of it.
“Okay.” It was now night time, the double suns of the planet just barely skirting the horizon. Din brought the speeder to a stop and you lifted your head up, looking around. You felt your eyes widen as your saw a group of Tusken Raiders not too far away, beginning to rise from the fire they had set and looking over at the three of you. “Umm... Din, we should probably go somewhere else.”
Instead, you felt your arms fall away from his waist as he rose from the bike, stepping off it on one side and reached a hand out for you to come down. Instead of grasping it, you just looked at him in shock, eyes widened. “Din, there are Tusken Raiders right there.” you whispered, starting to get panicky as they got nearer and nearer.
“I saw them.” He stated, as if a whole bunch of Raiders was just a normal sight and no big deal.
“And...?” you asked, looking at him in complete bewilderment. Din was usually calm, almost unnervingly so at times, but this was shocking to you even.
“And maybe they will let us sit by their fire.”
You couldn’t help but to gulp, your jaw slacking a little bit as you let it hang open. “What?” you whispered, your voice getting a little screechy.
“I’m good with Tusken Raiders.”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I just forgot how you were such a people person.” You sarcastically responded and Din chuckled.
 He brought his hand closer to you, wanting you to come down. “Trust me, cyar’ika.”
You groaned but grasped his hand, jumping off the speeder with a frown. “If I become a Tuskens wife tonight or they kill us, I will rise from the grave just to kill you.”
Din shook his head at you, not bothering to respond as he looked over once a couple of the raiders reached where your bike was parked. They were both dressed in the traditional brown fabrics of Tuskens, both holding intimidating sticks in your hands that made you wince as your remembered stories of how they could kill a man with just a stick. They began to speak to you two but instead of words, a string of grunts, loud yelling, and rough sounds tumbled from them. You had no clue what they were saying, but it didn’t sound welcoming and you just stood back as they faced the both of you, waiting for a response. 
You were just about to hiss to Din that you should leave when he began to respond to them in their language, grunting and speaking in a way you couldn’t even begin to understand. His hands moved along with his words (if that’s what you could call them) and you watched closely. Your jaw dropped just the smallest bit, not wanting the Raiders to mistake it for disrespect but shocked by Din. You didn’t know he could speak any language besides basic and hearing such a rough, primal language coming from him was surprising but also made sense in a weird way.
The three of them continued to go back and forth for a while before the two Tuskens walked off, leaving you alone. Your head whipped towards Din as soon as they got further away. “What was that?”
“What?”
“That language you were speaking!” you said, looking at him with wide eyes. What else would you be talking about?
“Tusken.” Din responded like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“You know Tusken?”
“I told you I was good with Tusken Raiders. You need to trust me, sweet one.”
You bit your lip, feeling bashful at not believing him right away. “What did they say?”
“They said we can stay by their fire tonight.”
“Really?” You said, shocked. You had heard rumors of Tuskens and they were never described as the most charming nor welcoming individuals. Tales about them usually consisted of them brutally attacking humans or being barbarians, not welcoming weary travelers to sit by their fire when in the middle of nowhere.
“As long as you treat them with respect, they are good.” You couldn’t help but to smile at his explanation. You hadn’t seen Din interact with many people, but you knew he was respectful to all kinds of creatures and people, not seeming to judge anyone or come to assumptions too harshly. It made sense, since the armor he wore made him susceptible to people making assumptions what kind of person he was based on rumors and stories of Mandalorians. Of course Din would be more likely to give people a chance, not judge them based off common knowledge which was many times wrong or unfairly dramatized for effect. 
“You are a good guy, Din.” you said softly.
Din just looked up at you, tilting his helmet a little. “We should probably head over.” Whenever you told Din that, he always seemed to shrug it off. Like he didn’t believe it himself or he still had something to prove. It always saddened you because you just wanted him to look in the mirror and see the man you saw. The kindness, respect, and care he put into the people around him was so admirable. 
You nodded but once he started to walk towards where the Tuskens sat, you grabbed his arms and stopped him in his tracks. He didn’t look back, just settling the child who seemed to be uncomfortable. “I have to admit something very, very weird.”
“What is it?” he grumbled, not seeming to put much focus on you.
“You speaking Tusken was kind of hot.” Din’s helmet whipped towards you, and even the child on his side looked up at you as if he understood what you said and was judging very harshly. 
“W-what?” He muttered.
You felt yourself flush. “You know, that sounded dumb even while I was saying it so never mind.”
Din finally chuckled, shaking his head and letting his gloved fingers drift down to your hand, his body now facing yours and his back covering what was happening so the Tuskens couldn’t see. “I’ve never been told that before.” you could hear mocking tone in his voice and you tried to pull away from him but he still held onto your hand just barely. 
“Alright, let’s never mention that I said that.” You said, completely embarrassed at this point and now finding yourself very eager to join the Tuskens, so nothing else could be said about the topic. 
“Remind me to speak to you in Tusken next time we sleep in my bed.” 
Your jaw dropped at Din and the meaning behind what he was saying. “I-I didn’t say it turned me on.” you rambled.
Din was the one to freeze this time and you felt your whole face get warm. You realized how foolish you had sounded. You and Din hadn’t done anything more than making out, neither of you pushing it forward more. You didn’t because you were self-conscious, not wanting to make of a fool of yourself. Him because... well, you didn’t know why.
“I didn’t say it turned you on either.” he said to you and you looked up at him, blinking slowly.
“You implied that.” You justified, getting even more flustered as Din began to rub circles into your hand. Your skin already felt warm enough warm enough from all the awkwardness and every time he did that, it made it worse. 
“You said it was hot.” he responded plainly.
“It was joke!” You lamely refuted.
“A joke?”
“I thought I said to never mention it again.” You felt like a child but you wanted the conversation to end and hearing Din tease you and talk about it so easily made you frustrated. 
Instead of letting go of your hand and heading to the Tuskens, Din just stepped the tiniest bit closer to you and straightened himself up, making himself taller and broader. Your chin tilted up to look at his helmet directly, which you didn’t want to do, but you also weren’t going to look down at your feet like a child. You tried to give him a plain expression, though you could feel the redness that flared across your cheeks and the way your eyebrows were furrowed slightly. Din tilted his helmet slowly, the T-visor looking straight down at you. “Do I turn you on?”
You gasped up at him, your jaw dropping. “Din Djarin!” you quietly hissed at him. But he didn’t back down, just staring right down at you. You hated his ability to make you so self-aware of everything. You feel that because of his armor and helmet, you had to hang on to every small movement and the slightest change of tone in order to read him well. And everything he did made your senses go into hyperdrive, especially when he was purposely trying to fluster you. You tried to speak, but just tripped over your words, getting annoyed with yourself. “W-well... you know you’re e-ego is a little...I think we s-should...” You bit your tongue. You were supposed to be the one with the wise mouth and quick tongue. You found yourself cockily thinking he must of learned this from you, because the Mandalorian you first met was certainly not this cocky.
“Sweet one.” He teased and you gaped up at him.
“Fine, yes! There!” You hissed and pulled away from him. Din nodded at your answer, seeming satisfied. He began to pull away but you now wanted to fluster him like he had with you. “Do I?” you blurted out.
He paused and looked back down at you. “Do you what?”
“Oh, you know what I mean, you kriffing ass.” You responded and Din chuckled, watching as you placed a hand on your hip and looked up at him expectantly.
“Yes.” The question was meant to fluster him but he answered so easily, like you asked him if he wanted some water. There was no teasing or any theatrics involved. Just a plain, simply answer. You thought of several things to say in the moment, small jabs to get back at him, but you just flushed even more, your heartbeat quickening at the answer. Say something.
“Well, good. I better.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest. You began to walk away from him, heading towards the Tusken Raiders who were sat in the circle. You could hear Din’s chuckle as he followed closely behind.
__________
You had finally reached Mos Pelgo and now you understood why you couldn’t find it on a map. It was a small town, though small sounded like the understatement of the year. The whole entire place seemed to stretch over the small portion of road Din was now slowly driving along, a few buildings on each side of it the sandy single street that passed through it, just as empty as the rest of it.The buildings were small and aged, not necessarily in bad shape but you could tell this was a town that had gone through something and didn’t have the opportunity to spruce things up. This was the kind of place where it seemed people simply had to fight each day to just live, not much focus being spent on anything. It made sense, considering its history and it being secluded so much, more so than every other town on the planet already was. It was probably afternoon now, the two suns of Tatooine blaring down on the planet and causing your clothes to stick to your skin a little. Most towns at this time would be full of people working, traveling, getting lunch, and making their way to where they had to go, this town showed no sign of the usual hustle and bustle of places during the week. It was barren except for a few curious eyes here and there, either from people stood on their porches or people peering out from their windows, eyes seeming to dig into you. Each face you saw made you feel like a suspect, like you weren’t welcome. You suspected a town like this didn’t get a lot of visitors, perhaps none for that matter. The last time there had been outsiders may have been the time it was wiped out by bandits following the fall of the Empire. And the only other life you had seen nearby had been Tusken Raiders and while Din seemed to not be bothered by them, they were, well... raiders. And very possibly could be the kind to try to swindle and rob their way through a town like this since it seemed like such an easy target, though you couldn’t imagine there was much value here to be found. After thinking about it, you could understand the judgmental and curious looks. People like this had to be this way and you couldn’t blame them.
Din slowly drifted down the street, seeming to look around for something that stood out. A place where he could find a Mandalorian. You looked around as well, straightening your body up and removing your arms from around Dins waist to bring them up to your eyes, shielding them from the piercing rays of the suns. You didn’t see any places of particular interest and with so few people around, you imagined a Mandalorian would be easy to find if there was one here, strolling around. The speeder bike eventually eased into a slow stop and you turned to your head to the left to see where Din was looking at. It appeared to be a small cantina of sorts and you couldn’t see inside its entrance completely, but you knew it was empty. No music, no sounds of voices, nothing. Just complete silence filled the air and you felt your nose scrunch up. You weren’t a fan of the silence but it seemed to swallow a place like this whole. Like there was no reason to make some noise, have some fun, spark some conversation. Din eventually rose from the bike, you joining him and watching as he made his way to the entrance. You turned back to look at the child, who was sat in the pouch on his bike. He looked up at you, seeming to not know why the ride has stopped. “You stay here for a second, kid.” you told him with a small smile.
Your feet followed Dins path in and once you entered the establishment, your assumption that it was empty was confirmed. There were no day drinkers, nor people grabbing a bite to eat or conducting business. All that stood was a lone bartender, who seemed to be mindlessly stirring a drink mix together with not much care. Definitely no Mandalorian here. Din stepped into the building more and it seemed to grab the bartenders attention, making him look up at you and Din. “Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for a Mandalorian.” You were praying for a quick answer. A simple ‘oh yes, our friendly local Mandalorian is right over there.’ Something to make your trip here worthwhile but you felt any hope dissipate as the bartender just looked at you blankly, no sense of recognition crossing his features as his hands continued to work away on the drink mix.
“Well, we don’t get many visitors in these parts. Can you describe him?” The bartender asked and you let out a sigh. If this man didn’t even know what a Mandalorian was when he had one standing right in front of him, you couldn’t imagine there was one here at all. A Mandalorian would stand out like a sore thumb in a town like this.
“Someone who looks like me.” Din explained plainly, not seeming exasperated but you knew he was thinking the same thing you were.
The man nodded slowly, letting out a hum as a flash of something seemed to finally settle in. “You mean the Marshal?”
Your eyebrows scrunched up. “Your Marshal is a Mandalorian?” You had learned quite a bit about Mandalorians since being with Din, and you had never heard him mention once any Mandalorian being a Marshal of any kind. In fact, you had never even heard of Mandalorians being anything other than bounty hunters. Probably not the type to love law enforcement, none the less become a member of it even in a small town like this where there wasn’t much to look after except a few Raiders every now and then.
“See for yourself.” He grunted and gestured his head to the door you and Din had entered. You both turned around to find a Mandalorian stood in front of you, with quite the outfit on. You knew Dins armor wasn’t the norm. He had never bragged about it or wanted to speak about how much he had paid for his beskar, but you and practically everyone else knew. It was immaculate and pristine, the kind of armor that sparks intimidation and power. Dominance and strength. This armor on the other hand... didn’t give you the same feeling at all and it didn’t even seem to match the individual wearing it. The armor it self had been painted a green and red but you had guessed that must of been many years ago due to how aged and worn it looked. The colors looked half cuffed off, the metal of it sprinkled with marks and dents that had shown it had seen much better days. The helmet that the man adorned was a bit unruly, not seeming quite right on his frame. A pair of wrist-cuffs and a chest plate matched the helmet, looking just as off and bizarre to you. You don’t know what you had expected of a Mandalorian other than Din, but this wasn’t it.
“What brings you here, strangers?” The Mandalorian finally spoke and you could hear a bit of an accent peaking through his modulator which must of also been older, not sounding as clear as the one you were used to that Din wore.
“I’ve been searching for you for many parsecs.” Din stated. You looked over at him to find him calmly stood back, looking at the man before him with no care. It was a curious thing to see him seem to be somewhat comfortable with a stranger. He was an inherently weary man, for good reason, and he didn’t warm up to people. But this wasn’t just a person. This was one of his own. Like a brother of sorts. You wondered how it must feel to have an instant connection with someone. To meet someone who swore by the same Creed you swore to, presumably meaning they had the same morals and beliefs as you did. It must be so nice, especially for a Mandalorian. You didn’t have a lot of people you could trust (or could trust you for that matter) and company wasn’t a norm meaning that when they were with other Mandalorians, there must be this two-sided relief and comfort.
“Well, now you found me.” The man teased and you raised an eyebrow. He already gave you an air of boldness, perhaps even cockiness though you gave him a benefit of a doubt because of the metal strapped to his body. He gave you a small nod, seeming to acknowledge your figure standing besides Din before he strolled to the bar, giving the bartender nod “Weequay, three snorts of spotchka.” 
He grabbed three small glasses and a flagon of blue liquid. The Marshal took a seat at a table with three chairs, gesturing to the three cups. “Why don’t you guys join me for a drink?”
You looked over at Din, who remained glued to his spot, and wondering if the same thought was going through his mind. Why was one Mandalorian offering another a drink? Why the three glasses? You curiously walked over to the table, plopping down on the seat besides the Mandalorian and studying him intently. You were about to ask him about the drinks when the answer to your question was answered by a familiar hiss and click. His hands were attached to the helmet, pulling it off his face. Part of you almost looked away, like you would of done if Din had accidentally taken his helmet off. But you already knew deep down this was no Mandalorian so you continued to look at him as the helmet completely uncovered his face and he revealed himself to everyone in the room. He had a big smirk on his face as he looked up at Din’s frozen figure. He had a handsome face with salt and pepper hair that sat on his head and trailed over his chin and jaw. The thing you noticed first though was the cocky smile on his face. A beaming grin filled it as he looked back and forth between the two of you, his eyes landing on you for a little longer as he took in your shocked but also rather annoyed expression. He began to chuckle softly, as if finding amusement in the reactions he had caused. He began pouring the liquid into the cups, each one quickly being filled by the glowing blue liquid. The scent of the alcohol filled your senses as he smoothly slid a glass across the table your way, your hands reaching out to catch it so it didn’t slip off the edge of the metal. He gave you a small nod before looking back at where Mando stood. He was still frozen but you could see how the comfort was gone from just mere seconds earlier. He was standing a little broader than before, his legs widened out into a slightly yet not overtly threatening stance. He was no longer with a Mandalorian but an imposter. An imposter who was smiling at him as if no wronging had occurred and sliding you a drink like you were an old pal and not a potential threat. “I’ve never met a real Mandalorian. Heard stories. I know you’re good at killing. And probably none too happy to see me wearing this hardware.”
You looked over at Din, your eyes catching the sight of the child in the corner, seeming to be studying some container of some sort. You looked back at Din, who hadn’t moved an inch, his helmet still steadily aimed at the Marshal before you. This was not good.
“So...I figure only one of us is walking out of here. But then I see the little guy and the beautiful lady...and I think, maybe I pegged you wrong.” The man continued, the same smirk still on his face. He was handsome but he seemed cocky, arrogant. Two things you didn’t have the energy to deal with. 
“Who are you?” you asked and he sends a glimmering grin in your direction.
“I’m Cobb Vanth, Marshal of Mos Pelgos.” He winked your way. “You can just call me Cobb though, sweetheart.”
You raised an eyebrow, sending a exasperated look in Din’s direction before drinking the cup of liquid still held in your hand. Oh, boy. This was certainly going to be interesting.
“Where did you get the armor?” Din asked.
“Bought it off some Jawas.” Why the hell did Jawas have Mandalorian armor? That must of meant there was a Mandalorian on Tatooine at some point, but it definitely was not the man in front of you.
“Hand it over.”
“Look, pal, I’m sure you call the shots where you come from, but ‘round here, I’m the one tells folks what to do.” He explained, resting his hand on the table calmly. “Why don’t you sit down with me and the pretty lady?”
“Take it off. Or I will.” Din commanded and you couldn’t help but to snort at it. You swore sometimes he said things that sounded so inherently sexual just on purpose.
Both men finally turned to look at you and you widened your eyes, realizing the tension in the room had been interrupted by you chuckling. You looked back and forth between the Marshal and Din. “Are you okay?” The marshal asked slowly, seeming intrigued by your reaction.
You nodded very slowly, pouring yourself another drink as you felt uncomfortable with both men just staring at you. “Oh, yeah. Mando here might just want to buy you a drink before he tries taking your clothes off but...” you trailed off, trying to make a joke but Din just looked back at Vanth.
Vanth on the other hand laughed, his eyes twinkling as he kept looking at you. “So far, you are much more enjoyable to deal with.” He looked over at Din. “Maybe the lady and I can work something out.”
“Take it off.” Din repeated, not in the mood for playing games. His hand itched towards his blaster, a subtle movement but once the Marshal was supposed to notice and he did, sighing.
“We gonna do this in front of the kid?” he asked, causing the child to look up from the object he was studying.
“Oh, don’t worry. He has seen much, much worse, pal.” You said with a small smirk of your own, tipping back the drink you had poured. 
“Right here then?” Cobb asked.
“Right here.” Din confirmed. 
You scooted your chair back as Cobb stood up, sighing. Both him and Din stared at each other, their sight not straying to you or the child rustling around in the corner who seemed to now be watching intently. Both of them reached for their respective blasters, just wrapping their hands around the holsters without pulling the gun itself out. You looked between the two men, exasperated. You loved Din, but if he was going to force the armor off the guy, he should just do it already. You didn’t understand why he was putting on such a show. You let out a loud sigh, crossing your arm over your chest and leaning back in the chair. You once again captured both mens attention, their heads aiming towards you and you shrugged. “Oh, ignore me. This whole ego, macho-man competition is rather thrilling.” You sarcastically muttered. 
Before either man had the chance to respond, a loud rumble tore through the atmosphere. You stood from your spot as you the Marshal raised a finger, beginning to walk outside, Din following closely behind. You swooped down to grab the child into your arms, watching as the bartender ran out the back exit. What the hell had you and Din walked into? 
You rushed out to where the Marshal and Din were, hearing an alarm start to blare. The child folded his ears onto himself slightly, tucking himself into your chest as if he was trying to hide. You stood next to the two men, watching as they both looked in the same direction. You looked over the same way and that was when you saw it. The sand in the center of the road was moving, seeming to shift from something coming below. A huge array of scales role up from the sand, only showing a small portion of the creature below who tore through the town with reckless abandon. “What the kriff?” You muttered under your breath, barely even hearing yourself over the commotion.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more bizarre, the creature rose from the sand like a creature breaching out of the water. A gigantic head rose up, the skin scaled and gnarled with what appeared to be almost horn-like structures rising from the head. You watched as it crashed down, swallowing a bantha whole in the process as if it was nothing. “What was that?” You asked as it finally slithered back down into the sand, seeming to disappear just as quickly as it came.
“Greater Krayt Dragon.” Din answered as the Marshal stepped forward, watching the people of his town slowly exit their homes and businesses, fearfully checking to see if the threat was truly gone before beginning to pick up the pieces of the damage.
“Maybe we can work something out.” Vanth said, beginning to walk through his town.
You and Din followed him, the child still held in your arms. “What is it?” you asked.
“That creature’s been terrorizing these parts since long before Mos Pelgo was established. Thanks to this armor, I’ve been able to protect this town from bandits and Sand People. They look to me to protect ‘em. But a Krayt Dragon is too much for me to take on alone.” For the first time, you could sense some genuine emotion in the mans voice. You heard the compassion for his people, the way he wanted to help. It was the first time you felt empathy for the man. “Help me kill it, I’ll give you the armor.”
“Deal. I’ll ride back to the ship, blow it out of the sand from the sky, use the Bantha as bait.” Din explained, seeming satisfied to come to such an easy conclusion. You couldn’t help but to raise an eyebrow. It wasn’t your luck for this to go so smoothly.
Cobb confirmed your suspicions with a tiresome smile. “Not so simple. The ship passes above, it senses the vibrations, stays underground. But I know where it lives.”
“Of course. Cause that would have been too easy.” You said and Cobb laughed.
“Exactly, dear.”
“How far?” Din asked.
“Not far. I can take you two there.” Cobb offered and you huffed. Fighting a creature to get some Mandalorian armor. Okay. Fighting a creature that can sense vibrations and having to walk into its territory? Not so okay.
“Give us a second.” You said and Cobb nodded, tipping his head towards you.
“Anything, my lady.” He said like a proper gentlemen, throwing a wink your way before strolling a few feet away to help a towns person pick something up.
You looked over at Din who just looked back at you. “This sounds dangerous.”
“We need to do it.”
“For what?”
“We get the armor and find who it belongs to.”
“Mando, this sounds like a real pain in the ass.” You whispered back at him. You understood he wanted the armor, not just for this mission but because it was considered disrespectful for someone to wear a Mandalorians armor if they weren’t one. But you also knew you didn’t want to kill yourselves over it.
“Look around, sweet one.”
You furrowed an eyebrow but looked around. You saw the people cleaning up the mess that had been made, looking exhausted but not surprised. This was a common occurrence for them. Just another part of life. But life was hard enough, especially for people in a small town like this on Tatooine. In a place like this, getting water was a chore in and of itself. They shouldn’t have to fight off a creature, one who ate their animals and Maker knows what else. You understood where Din was coming from. It wasn’t just about the armor or honor, it was about being able to help people. It was about doing the right thing.
You looked back at Din who still stared back at you and you nodded slowly. “Fine. Let’s get Vanth to show us where it is.”
Before you could walk away, Din grasped your arm just slightly, the child held within them looking over at Din to coo at him. He took it away quickly but had captured your attention. “I don’t like him.”
“I mean he seems egotistical, but I think he will stick to his word. Sounds like he needs help.” You reasoned but Din nodded his head.
“I don’t like the way he is... with you.”
You couldn’t help the sly smile on your face. “Well, well...”
“What?” Din asked, seeming confused by your response.
“Oh, just look at who is jealous now.” You sent him a wink before turning around and waving your hand, capturing Vanths attention. “Come on, marshal! Let’s kill a dragon!”
__________
Back on the speeders you were, heading towards the location of this Krayt Dragons home as you tore through rocky terrain. You clung onto Din as he slowly rode on the edge of a cliff, following Cobb Vanth who was riding on his own speeder bike.
Suddenly, a terrible and intimidating loud growl filled the air and Vanth raised a hand to alert you, both men stopping their speeders and jumping off them, readying themselves for what was to come. You joined them, jumping off the bike you shared with Din and grabbing your blaster off your hip. The kid remained on the side of bike, looking around in wonder. The animal-like noises continue on, echoing off the walls of the cliffs that surrounded you. You and Cobb both glanced around rather nervously, trying to see the source of the noise that grew closer and closer. Din stood tall, his hand tightly clasped around his blaster as he moved towards you slowly, placing his body in front of yours to shield you.
You heard the sound of what must of been foot steps coming closer, the canyon making the sound echoe and sound much more intimidating than it was. Before you could ask Din what to do, something started to round the corner, revealing a large four legged creature with scales and dark skin. It appeared almost dog like, snarling at you four while more started to appear, a whole pack coming closer.
The marshal brought his blaster up, aiming it at the creature but you raised a hand up as Din stepped forward, staring directly at the creature. If Din wasn’t shooting right away, it either wasn’t that dangerous or he had a plan. You quietly waited to see Din’s course of action so you could follow his lead. You and Vanth both suddenly jumped as the Mandalorian suddenly let out a loud cry in what sounded like the Tusken he spoke last night, the inflection in his tone and growl of his voice sounding similar. The creatures seemed to calm instantly, allowing Din to stroll towards the one who led the pack
“What the hell you doin’?” Cobb asked, his face pulled into complete shock as he stared at the scene before him. Din brought a hand up, indicating for Cobb to drop his weapon which he did slowly, seeming hesitant to do so. You put your own blaster back on your side, listening as Din let out more Tusken calls, the animals seeming to listen to them intently.
Then Din did something that made you literally laugh with joy. He bent down at the creature directly in front of him, bringing his gloved hands to the hide of its skin and began to scratch and pet at it. The animal happily leaned in the joy, almost jumping with joy at the contact. You looked over at Cobb, whose eyes were just widened as he stared curiously at the creature and Din. You just gave him a shrug as you looked back at Din, smiling as he eagerly pet the creature who seemed to be enjoying the contact thoroughly. 
You walked forward slowly, eventually making it to Dins side and he looked up at you, still petting at the sides of the creature. “Give me your hand.”
You reach one out and he grabbed it, giving another grunt to the creature right before Din’s gloved hand pulled yours downwards until it pressed into the hide of the creature’s skin. It was rough and bumpy, but also warm from the sun that bore down. It had a leathery type of feeling, not exactly soft but it was fine with you. Din let go of your hand, letting you run them over it’s side and the creature let out a satisfied little noise that made you giggle.
Your attention tore away from the creature as a group of Tusken Raiders rounded the corner, seeming to be looking for the pack of animals who had ran ahead of them. Din rose in his spot, beginning to speak to them while his hands moved.
“Hey, partners, either of you want to tell me what’s going on?” Cobb called out and you looked back at him, rising from your kneeled position.
“Dont worry. He is good with Tuskens.” You said, repeating the Mandalorians very words from yesterday and watching as he gave you a bewildered look that you guessed was very similar to your own. 
Din continued to speak for a few more moments before turning back to you two. “They want the Krayt Dragon, too. We are going to camp with them for the night and then form a plan.”
__________
Night fell and once again you were spending it surrounded by a fire, sat next to Din as he spoke with Tuskens. You found it funny how he spoke so infrequently to humans but seemed to go on and on with these creatures. Part of you wished you knew the language, if only to know what Din was talking about and what each hand gesture he made meant. Was he talking strictly business? Or was he just having a normal conversation?
Din sat on your right side, the child sat on the ground in between his legs and staring at the creatures before him. On your left was Cobb Vanth, who looked just as confused as he had earlier. He stared incredulously at Din and the Tuskens, eyebrows raised in a state of shock. He leaned into you just a bit and you felt his shoulder brush yours. “Do you have any clue what they are saying?”
“None.” You responded with a grin.
“They could be plotting to kill us for all we know.” He whispered back at you and you couldn’t help but to chuckle.
“Mando wouldn’t let anybody kill me or the kid. But you...” you sarcastically trailed off, teasing the man who looked over at you with widened eyes.
“That was a joke.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself and you just laughed at the expression on his face. “You think you are real funny, don’t you?”
“I’m kind of hilarious.” you stated and the marshal shook his head in disbelief, a smile forming just the smallest bit.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, marshal. Why not?”
“What is a beautiful woman like you doing with him?” He gestured his head to Din, who appeared to be listening intently to the Tuskens.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to woo me, Vanth.” You said with a joking tone causing him to chuckle.
“Cant blame me for trying.” He responded back just as you had, grinning at the joking.
You shook your head. “I mean you can keep trying if you like to fail. And I do love to hear about how pretty I am.” You sarcastically muttered, making it clear you were just joking.
Vanth was about to respond when a Tusken suddenly shoved what appeared to be a bowl, filled with a black liquid that steamed. You scrunched up your nose as the scent of it hit you and you nearly gagged from it. It smelled absolutely horrid in every way.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” Vanth asked, looking down at it with disgust, clearly smelling the same deplorable scent you had.
“You drink it.” Din explained and you almost laughed at the shock on the marshals face.
“It stinks.” he stated plainly, as if expecting Din to understand.
“Do you want their help?” Din asked.
“Not if I have to drink this.” Vanth stubbornly responded.
As soon as Cobb answered, the Tuskens started to yell at him, throwing their hands up and you couldn’t understand much but you knew they were not pleased. “He says your people steal their water and now you insult them by not drinking it. They know about Mos Pelgo. They know how many Sand People you killed.” Din explained.
“They raided our village. I defended the town.” The Marshal shouted, clearly becoming agitated himself and defensive
You looked over at the man and narrowed your eyes. “Just shut up and drink it.”
He looked at you with a crazed expression, as if shocked that you weren’t defending him. “Do you smell this?”
You did smell it, and it smelled like complete shit. But it certainly seemed better to drink it then being torn apart by Tuskens who were now rising from where they sat, screeching out and positioning themselves, ready to fight. “It smells better than us getting killed.” You hissed and he just rolled his eyes.
“These monsters can’t be reasoned with!” Cobb yelled out, rising from his seat as well and looking absolutely furious at this point.
“Men...” you muttered, resting your face against your hand as you shook it. 
Cobb took no notice of your exasperation with his attitude, continuing to yell at the creatures. “Sit back down before I put a hole through you! I’m not going to say it-”
Suddenly an explosion of fire erupted next to you, causing you to jump up from your seat. Your head snapped to the right to find Din, an arm stretched out as flames erupted from it, causing the the Tusken and Cobb to stumble back in shock and fear. The child sat between his legs looked shocked as well, gazing up into the orange burst of heat with pure curiosity. It only lasted for a few moments, but it worked incredibly well. Both groups fell silent as their gaze fell upon Din. You could feel the frustration radiating off him and moments like this made you realize why he wasn’t a people person. You continued looking over at him as he turned his head just slightly to look at you, as if checking on you. “Well, that worked.” you mumbled with a small chuckle, your lips quirking slightly to show a small smile. Din only nodded in response, turning to look back at the Tusken and continue conversing with them.
Cobb looked down at you, his expression warped into confusion, anger, fear, and disbelief. You were certain he had probably never had a day quite like this before. “What is he saying now?”
“I’m pretty talented but believe it or not, I didn’t learn Tusken in the last few minutes.” You dryly responded, the same quirk of your lips present. That seemed to break him out of his trance, making a small chuckle pass through his lips before his gaze wandered over to Din.
“What are you telling them now?”
Din finally looked over at Cobb and you swore you could feel him roll his eyes. “The same thing I’m telling you. If we fight amongst ourselves, the monster will kill us all.”
You shook your head in agreement. “And I think we can probably all agree that none of us wanna be a light meal for this dragon.”
The Marshal nodded in response, rubbing his hand through his beard as if thinking. “Yes, that’s true.”
“Well then glad we agree.” you said, standing from your seat.
“I don’t have to drink this still, right?” Cobb pointed at the drink he had rested on the log he had been sitting on, the black liquid in it still steaming.
“Oh, fuck it.” You rolled your eyes and grabbed it. It smelled absolutely terrible, like bantha waste and rotten blue milk all wrapped in one. But it wasn’t a lot and if you didn’t think about it, you could get it down. You had been through much worse. You brought the shell that acted as a cup to your lips, throwing it back quickly and letting the liquid pass through your lips and down your throat. To your dismay, it tasted as bad as it smelled and looked, but you just chugged to try to get it over with, your face involuntarily scrunching up as you did so. Once you finished, you let the cup drop for your hands to the ground and rested one of your hands on your stomach, suddenly feeling very full and slightly queasy from the grotesque drink. Your other hand reached up to wipe at your face, where you could feel a few drops of the liquid dribble down your chin.
As you brought your hand down, you looked over to find everyone was completely silent. Cobb looked at you like you had grown a third eye, his jaw slightly dropped. The child looked up at you, making a face like he was disgusted and had taken a sip himself. You couldn’t read the expressions of the Tuskens but they were all looking in your direction, not grunting or making the slightest noise. Even Din stood next to you, a hand on his hip as his helmet tilted down to get a good look at you.
“No offense, but that tasted like complete shit.” You said, breaking the silence that was beginning to become overwhelming in every way. To your complete shock, the Tuskens started yelling and whooping and for a split second you thought you had done something wrong. Until one walked over to you and patted your shoulder, causing you to grin. You guessed they were shocked and amused that somebody had been willing to drink it. You had only wanted to show no disrespect but you found yourself overwhelmed by the response. You looked over at Din with a big grin but he only stared right back at you, making no movement towards you.
“Ma’am, you have managed to exceed all my expectations.” Cobb said and you looked over to him, to finally see him smiling freely. It was different from the cocky grin from earlier, seeming more genuine. You could see why some might find him a handsome man, with the scruffy beard and charm and good smile.
“I am very impressive.” You stated confidently.
He nodded in response and brought a hand to pat at your shoulder. “So I see.”
You felt a hand grab the back of your arm just slightly, starting to pull you back. You turned your head to see Din, one arm holding the kid and the other hand holding onto you. You smiled at him but he didn’t make any indication to acknowledge it. You understood why he acted differently in front of other people. It was almost like he had a role to play. A reputation to uphold. It probably wouldn’t be very intimidating if he was treating you like he always did, with people around. You also knew that wasn’t who Din was. He wasn’t comfortable with other people, nor ready to display any comfort he did feel with someone with the world. You don’t think it was shame or disgust he felt towards you, but merely you and Din were almost in your whole own world when you were with each other. And you didn’t need others in it.
“What’s up?” you asked.
“They set up some tents for us. We should go sleep.”
You raised an eyebrow, hearing an edge to his tone you were familiar with, but he had never taken it with you before. It was his rough, stoic Mando voice. The kind he gave people like Cobb. Not you. “I’m not really tired. I should probably wow everybody again and drink some-“
“We need rest before tomorrow.” Din said it quietly, not trying to capture the attention of others. The Tuskens didn’t seem to notice anything different, paying no attention to you two. But Cobb did, stepping forward just slightly.
“I can keep an eye on her if you want, partner. Wouldn’t mind the company.” He said, throwing a wink in your direction.
“She is fine.” Din insisted and you felt so much confusion. Why was he acting this way? It was like there was a wall between you. You wanted to reach out, hold onto him and ask him what was wrong but you knew this wasn’t the time nor the place.
Instead you just looked at Cobb and smiled. “You know, I should actually get the kid to bed. He becomes a monster without good sleep.  Goodnight, marshal.”
“Goodnight to you. And you too, Mando.” He said, tipping his head towards Din. Instead of responding to him, Din simply jerked his body away, your arm still held tightly in his hand as he began to march away from the fire.
You looked back apologetically at Vanth. Sure, Din could come off as cold initially. But he was a good man, and certainly not a rude one. You had seen the respect he had shown to the Tusken Raiders, so what was his problem?
“Din, what is going on?” You finally said once you were further away, the fire of the camp starting to fade away. Two small tents were set up further away from the others, and you assumed it was for privacy for Din.
Din didn’t respond and you huffed, jerking your arm away from him. He finally stopped stomping, freezing in his tracks before turning to you. His helmet aimed right at you, T-visor seeming to stare straight into you. “Why aren’t you talking to me?”
“I figured you were too busy thinking of the marshal.”
You couldn’t help the way your jaw dropped slightly and anger flared in you. “What are you talking about?” You spat out and Din sighed. The child in his arms looked back and forth between the two of you, beginning to whine in discomfort.
“You know what I’m talking about.” Din coldly responded and you scoffed.
“I don’t think I am. Why don’t you enlighten me?”
“Maybe I should of let you stay with Vanth like you wanted to so much.”
“I don’t want to stay with Vanth. I want to know what you are going on about.”
Din stayed silent, not responding to you and treating you like he did with so many others. You stepped towards him but instead of reaching out for him, you grab the child from his arms, who continues to whine softly, his eyes drooping. “I’m putting the kid to bed.”
You turned away from him, waiting for no response as you trudged off to one of the two tents that were set up.
_____
Once the child finally fell asleep, snuggled into a ball of blankets, you considered just going to bed. But it wouldn’t stop nagging at your mind. The way Din treated you and what he had said. Stay with Vanth like you wanted? What the hell did that mean?
You crawled out of the tent, feeling the warm Tatooine air hit you, but with a cool night breeze pulling in that relieved you from the heat of the day. You rose your head up, finding Din standing outside of his tent, arms crossed over his chest and head aimed up, as if looking into the sky. He was still clad in his armor but it seemed like a layer had been taken off him. Like he was finally able to relax and get rid of the Mando persona, become the Din you knew again.
You stepped over, your boots crunching softly in the sand and Din looked over at your approaching figure. You stopped right next to him, looking up at his helmet. It was dark outside, but the moon shone brightly and a lantern sat outside each tent, illuminating the metal of his armor enough so you could see him. “Care to explain what is happening?” you calmly asked.
“Vanth and you seem to get along.”
Oh. Oh. Was this... Din being jealous? You had teased him earlier for it, but you had only been teasing him in an attempt to get him back for the way he had teased you about Peli earlier. You didn’t think he could be jealous in any way because you knew there was no reason for him to be. You were hopelessly devoted to Din, almost stupidly so even though there was nothing tying you two together. No label. No title. Just the shared nights in his bed and the kisses you exchanged in the dark. “What?” You mumbled out and Din sighed.
“He finds you attractive. I see the way he looks at you.”
You couldn’t help but to awkwardly chuckle. “Oh, please. I think that is just his natural expression. Pretty sure he might of been undressing you with his eyes earlier.” You joked but Din shook his head and sighed, causing the smile on your face to drop.
“No. He wants you.” Din insisted, now looking away from you. You couldn’t help but to wonder if he was flushed from jealously or insecurity. If his face was tinted red likes yours was starting to be.
“That is silly, Din.”
“No it isn’t. You are a very attractive person. Strong. Smart. Of course he wants you.”
You wanted to flush from the praise, allow yourself to bask in it but all you felt was a sting of sadness course through you. You could hear the inflection in Dins tone and though it was one you couldn’t place, you knew it wasn’t good. It wasn’t your normal Din.
“Din-”
“Do you want him?”
You gasped quietly, looking up at him with complete shock. “What?” You sputtered out.
“He is handsome. Flirtatious.”
“Gee, are you interested?” You sarcastically responded but Din seemed to find no humor in your joke once again, his helmet finally tilting to look over at you again.
“You kept smiling at him. Talking to him.”
“I was being polite, Din. Treating him like I treated Peli.” You explained but his head tilted.
“Peli isn’t a man. A man who is intrigued by you.”
“Hey, you don’t know. Peli could find me extremely alluring.” Din sighed and you bit your tongue. This was not the time for jokes but that was usually was you reverted to when uncomfortable. “Din-”
“I don’t want you to.”
You raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“I don’t want you to want anyone.” He now turned, his body facing yours and helmet looking down at you directly.
“W-what?”
“I only want you to want me. I didn’t like when you... smiled or joked with him.”
“Din, you have nothing to-”
Din stepped towards you again but you didn’t move back, allowing his frame to be only inches from yours. “I only want you to want me.”
Your breath caught in your throat and now you felt a blush spread through your whole face, your chest feeling like it had been caught on fire. Oh, Maker, all you wanted was Din. Sometimes the want you felt, the need you had for him, was so overwhelming. You didn’t know how you had gone so many years of your life without him and now that he was here, he was like a drug you couldn’t get rid of. One you needed more and more of. One you needed to swallow you whole and intoxicate all your senses until they just become a part of you. Like they were just an extension of your being. And hearing Din say this, say how he wanted you to feel that way, made your legs want to give out. “Din.” You gasped as his hands reached out to your waist, holding onto you tightly.
“What do you want, sweet one?” This is one of the first times you heard an almost dangerous edge to his voice. Not one that was threatening or scary, not directed towards you necessarily. But it was dominant and complex and it made your stomach clench.
“All I want is you.”
Din paused for a moment, pulling your hips against his frame as he looked down at you. His chest remained steady, taking deep breaths in and out, completely calm and in control. You on the other end felt like you were gasping for air, like you couldn’t get enough oxygen in your lungs because Din was just consuming you. “Say it again, sweet one.”
“You, Din. All I wanted was you. All I want and will want is you. No one else.” You repeated, hoping you didn’t sound as needy and eager as you did in your head.
Din leaned down, his helmet brushing down your face, the cool metal of it gliding against your warm skin and sending shivers down your spine. “You are mine, cyar’ika.”
You nearly whined at the huskiness of his voice, how rough it sounded through the modulator. Your chest pressed against his and he clutched onto you even tighter. “No one else can have you. I am yours. Always will be here to take care of my girl. You don’t need anyone else. You understand?”
“Yes, Din. Yes.” You felt like you brain couldn’t process anything, the husk whispers tumbling from his lips making your body feel numb.
His fingers dug into your hips even more and this time you let out a whine, just the smallest noise but you knew Din heard it. “All mine. No one can care for you like I do. Be there for you like I do. Kiss you like I do.” You let out a frantic nod at that one, wanting to kiss Din so badly but knowing you couldn’t. Though you were further away from the camp site and from the other tents, you were still in the open. Exposed. Just one person had to walk up and they’d see you. See the way Din held onto you and the way your arms began to wrap around his neck, pulling him tighter against you. “We haven’t talked about it.”
You raised your eyebrow just slightly, wondering what he was meaning. “Talk about what?”
“What we are.”
Oh. You hadn’t. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to have the conversation. But things were so good and you didn’t want to scare him away with some type of commitment. Before you and the child, Din had only ever been committed to his work, his Creed. No person or personal ties. Of course there was something between the two of you. That was clear. But what was it exactly? “We haven’t I guessed.”
“How come?”
Din’s hands continued to clutch onto you, his thumbs now drawing lazy circles into you. “Well, it’s just been good-”
“Really good.”
“Yeah.” you agreed, smiling. “And I just didn’t mention it cause, y’know, it isn’t really necessary. We can just keep doing what we are doing.”
“Is that what you want?”
Your heart quickened at his question. “I just want you.” you admitted, looking away from him just slightly.
A hand left your waist, grabbing onto your chin gently and lifting it up to look directly at him. “Cyar’ika.”
“Yes?”
“You’re important to me.”
“I know.”
“No.” He interrupted, letting his hand drift up so his fingers brushed your cheek. “I am dedicated to you, okay? I’ll be yours.”
You pulled away just slightly, to look at him more clearly but you wished so desperately it was his face you were looking at. That you could look into soft eyes barely illuminated by the soft glow of the moon and lanterns. See the lips you always craved so much. Feel the chin you had pressed kisses along and held in your hand. See the hair your fingers ran through every night. But instead you just smiled softly into the helmet, looking right into the T-visor and hoping you were making eye contact. “Yeah?”
“Yes. If that’s what you want.”
“That’s what I want.”
“Good.” Din said lowly as he pulled you in, now wrapping his arms around your lower body to pull you in for a hug. It wasn’t the most comfortable due to all the bulky beskar he wore but it was your Din holding onto you, and that made it the best feeling. As he continued to hold you close, his hands started to drift down your lower back, fingers brushing against the bottom of your shirt and jacket, pulling the fabric up just the smallest amount so his gloved fingertips could craze bare skin. You felt goosebumps rise on your skin instantly.
“Din...”
“Yes, sweet one?”
“We should probably go to our tents.”
“I don’t want to.” He continued to rub the skin and you tried to gently pull away but he held you close.
“Someone could see.”
“Let them see.” He murmured roughly.
“Din... we should go to bed.”
“Come to my tent.” Din now whispered, leaning his forehead against yours and you sighed at the contact. Ever since you learned what a kedblade kiss was, it made it so special whenever Din went out of his way to do it because you knew what it mean to him.
“We can’t leave the kid in a tent alone. You’ll have to sleep alone tonight.” You heard the way you even whined, how clear it was that you weren’t happy with it. But the tents were extremely small and you had already put the child to sleep in what was supposed to be your tent.
“I don’t want to sleep.” He said and you sighed.
“Well, you need some rest. We’ve got a Krayt dragon to kill tomorrow.” You told him, listening to him grunt in response.
“I need you.” The way Din grumbled was barely audible but you heard, nodding against his helmet.
“I know I’m just so great to sleep next to but I think you will survive.” You respond sarcastically but Din let out another grunt.
“I don’t want to just sleep next to you, sweet one.”
You froze as his large hands grab onto your hips, letting out a small “Oh” as he squeezed them. Not roughly but just enough for you to feel the pressure of his hands, to make you gasp quietly. “Din, you may have picked the worst time to try to seduce me.”
“Is it working?” He asked and you let out a chuckle at the question, shaking your head in disbelief. Part of you couldn’t believe this was the same man who had barley spoken a word to you for the first few weeks on the Crest. The man who you thought you drove crazy with every word that left your mouth. Now he was holding onto you, saying how he wanted you and making a warmth fill in you that you’ve never felt before. Made your chest heave as your heart slammed in your chest, not out of fear but thrill and excitement. This was the man who now made you feel so many things, things you never even felt before.
“It’s working very well but we can’t.” You knew Din knew you couldn’t. It was too risky when you weren’t within the safety of the Crest. Too many people around and you were in the middle of the desert of Tatooine. Not the prime location.
Din let out a sigh as you slowly pulled away from him, his helmet still aimed right at you as his fingers began to slip away from your skin. His shoulders sagged slightly as you moved out of his reach. You knew if he didn’t stop talking to you like this and touching you like that, you wouldn’t be able to stop and you’d both do something stupid. “Sweet one, you are killing me.”
You’ve never heard Din sound so desperate in his life and you almost wanted to laugh at it. Instead you just smirked and nodded, knowing exactly what he was feeling but not wanting to show it. “Let’s kill this dragon, get the hell off Tatooine, and then we can...” you drifted off, feeling your face flush.
“Kill a Krayt dragon. Should be easy.” Din sarcastically responded and you chuckled.
“Eh, you’ve dealt with me this long. Krayt dragon should be a piece of cake.” You smirked at him and he shook his head.
“Sweet one?”
“Yes, Din?”
“Close your eyes for a second.”
You looked around. No one was near by, the sounds of the Tuskens could no longer be heard and you could just see the flame from the bonfire coming to an end. “Din, what are you-“
“Just close them real quick.”
You stayed where you were, standing a few feet away from him, but you closed your eyes. You listened closely as you heard Din step closer, feeling him lean against you just slightly as he stood in front from you. A small click rang out into the emptiness of the desert but the usually hiss didn’t follow, making you believe he hadn’t taken the helmet off completely. “Is your helmet-“
You were cut off by his lips pressing down against yours and you let out a small, content sigh at the feeling. You hadn’t kissed him in what felt like forever. All day yesterday you had traveled and the Tuskens last night didn’t have tents so you both slept outside, where you didn’t have any privacy. And today you had either spent the whole day with Vanth or Tuskens, leaving not a single moment for just you and Din.
You rested the palms of your hands against the chest plate he wore, letting the slight toughness of his lips take over. One hand reached out to grab at your hip and he pulled away, leaving one last peck before a click rang out again. “You can open your eyes.” You let them slowly flutter open, wishing you could still feel his lips against yours, the way they moved with you and conveyed things that couldn’t be said with words. “I just needed to kiss you.”
His hand drifted away and you smiled at him. “Very understandable.”
Din nodded at your tease and started to step back, towards his tent. You almost felt yourself whine as he started to move away from you. You hadn’t realized how used you had gotten to sleeping next to Din until you were faced with the realization that you had to sleep alone. You could probably squeeze in with Din and the kid in one, but you didn’t know if he could do that. Couldn’t risk somebody finding the Mandalorian tangled up in a tent with you. Probably not the most intimidating thing. But it still didn’t ease the way you felt. It might of been silly. It was only one night, but you had become addicted to him and you had already spent the last two days with minimal contact. But instead of saying anything, you just smiled at him softly as he neared the entrance of his tent, bringing yourself closer to yours. He was only a matter of a few feet away. You’d be fine.
“Goodnight, cyar’ika.”
“Goodnight, Din.”
__________
“Well, you really missed out on some fun after you left last night.” Cobb said with a grin as you approached him. He stood by the remnants of the bonfire from the night before, his legs spread and his arms crossed over his chest with his helmet sat on the ground besides him.
You stood a few feet away from Cobb, looking as his head lolled over towards you. The child in your arms was the first to respond, cooing and squirming. You let him down, watching as he seemed to relax and start to waddle around. He was becoming more dependent, not wanting to be held as much and wanting to explore on his own.
You looked around, seeing where everybody was. It was early in the morning but you had had a hard time falling asleep last night. And you didn’t want to admit it was because of Din not being next to you, but that was definitely the case. The child had woken up early along with you and instead of sitting in the tent, you decided to walk around before everything got started. You presumed that the Tuskens were probably in their tents, still asleep. Din hadn’t heard you earlier and you assumed he was still asleep in his tent, not wanting to wake him up earlier than you had to with the work ahead of him. It appeared you and Vanth were the only ones around. “Oh, really? What happened?”
“Tuskens finally got me to drink that stuff.” The face he pulled as he told you what happened was enough explanation. It twisted up into utter disgust, like he was still tasting it on his tongue and feeling the effects of it.
“Tastes like absolute shit, doesn’t it?” You asked him and he nodded fervently.
“I don’t know how you got it down so easily.”
“Pure willpower. And I used to drink lots of cheap alcohol which is almost as bad.” Cobb let out a laugh, shaking his head.
“Are you always this... spunky?”
“Spunky?” You asked, raising an eyebrow just the smallest bit.
“Can’t think of a word to describe ya.” He chuckled as he dropped down, planting himself onto one of the benches from last night. “I hope that Mandalorian of yours wasn’t too upset last night.”
You now let your eyebrows shoot up, looking down on him from where you stood. “What do you mean?”
“Well, let’s just say I now know why he isn’t too fond of me.”
You chuckle, shaking your head. “He isn’t too fond of anybody to be honest.”
An eyebrow of his quirked up. “I don’t think that’s true. Seems to be fond of you and that kid.” He looked over at the child, who continued to waddle around. “I just didn’t know. That’s all.”
“Know what?” you asked.
“Well, when you walked in with the Mandalorian yesterday, I figured you were a nanny or some bounty he dragged along to work with him. I didn’t know you two were...” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders slightly.
You felt your face flush and you had no clue what to say. Should you deny it, say you are just a work partner of his or something? Or did you confirm his suspicions? You and Din had never discussed what to tell people about your situation. You figured on his end he probably found it unnecessary to discuss with others because it was none of their business. And what do you even say?Saying he was your boyfriend or something along those lines felt so silly. “Um, well, y’know we are j-just pals.”
Cobb now laughed heartily at that, clutching onto his stomach as his eyes crinkled up. He kept going like that and you rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your shoulders as he continued to loose it. “Okay, you can shut up now or I’ll kick your ass.”
“What’s going on?” You jumped at the voice behind you, turning around to see Din standing a couple feet away from you. Vanth began to straighten up but his face was still red from the laughter and he kept snorting, trying to hold it in but seemingly unable to do so.
“Your girl here was just telling me about how you two are such great pals.” He said, a giggle following the words as he smiled up at you. 
You didn’t even bother to glare at the marshal, just looking over at Din who tilted his helmet at you, as if asking ‘Pals?’ “The marshal here was just being an idiot.” you uncomfortably said, shifting in the spot where you stood.
“I was just trying to say I was sorry for my... advances.” He stood from where he was sat, looking at Din now and finally looking like he recovered from his laughing fit. “I didn’t realize you two were pals.” He said the word with a knowing grin.
You looked over at Din who stared right back at Vanth, his helmet aimed right at him. “Well, now you know.” 
An uncomfortable silence fell over and you looked down to find the kid joining in on the awkwardness, just standing there and staring between the two men. You cleared your throat, causing all three to look over at you, and clapped your hands together. “Alright, boys, why don’t we go hunt down a dragon?” 
“Sounds like a plan to me.” Cobb said, beginning to walk off towards the Tuskens who finally began to exit their tents and leaving you and Din alone with the child. 
You looked over at him and felt the corner of your lip quirk up. “That went well.”
“Yeah. We should tell everybody we are pals.”
You smiled dropped as your narrowed your eyes at him, not amused by his sarcasm. “You know, he suggested that there was something between us-”
“Because there is.”
You rolled your eyes at his need to clarify, even though your chest squeezed at the confirmation. “-and I didn’t know what to tell him.”
“What do you mean, tell him?”
“Like do I say we are friends? Or work partners? It’s not like I can say something silly and ruin your very serious Mando reputation.” 
“Something silly? Like what?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” You looked down at your feet, becoming flushed from the way he continued to just stare right at you. “Boyfriend or something like that.” You mumbled very quietly, hoping he didn’t hear it all.
Din just nodded. “Say we are partners.”
You looked up at him and tilted your head. “Partners?”
“It’s a good word.”
You thought about it and supposed that it was the perfect word. Partner didn’t necessarily indicate something romantic. Could just mean you worked alongside him. But it could also mean he was your partner, your person. It didn’t require any explanation and a person could just take it either way. You nodded your head and smiled. “Alright, partner.” 
Din chuckled at you and bent down to grab the kid, lifting him up into his arms. “Are you ready?”
You nodded your head, looking out to see the Tuskens preparing to travel to the home of the dragon. “Yeah. I’m ready.”
Tag List: @ilikethoseodds @dindaddy @poguesvixen @starspangledwidow @fangirlalexia @the-scandalorian @ka-x-in @keepcalmandblogstuff @the-lady-of-stars @orneryscandalousevil @spaghetti-666 @afootnoteinyourhappiness @the-darkempress @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @dee-vn @eury-dice3 @rb4writers @just-me-and-my-obsessions00 @lxdyred @queen-since-97 @honey-hi @periptill​ @seninjakitey​ @guiltyegg​
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sailorhyunjinz · 4 years ago
Text
~ 𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 ~
Part I
© sailorhyunjinz 2021; Rights Reserved
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All picture rights to their respective owners.
ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥: Photographer!hyunjin, fem!model!reader, manager!Bangchan, stylist!Jisung, agedup!straykids, SMUT IN LATER PARTS, fluff, character driven story, strangers to lovers, summer au, mentions of insecurity, love at first sight.
𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 3,5 k  
ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖: I have never written a series before so please understand if it’s lacking heh... and yes the title does relate to the kooks song with the same title so do give it a listen because it’s really good and fits the story c: 
also this starts slowly LMAO MORE FUN THINGS ARE COMING UP I SWEAR <33
If you have any feedback I’m more than happy to receive it! <3
Taking pictures of you - MASTERLIST
ONE|TWO|THREE
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Working as a model was not easy. The complaining managers and the expectations by others was too much to handle. Heck, even getting to the shooting locations was a hastle most of the time. 
You tilted your head against the window in the backseat of the taxi. It was a calm august wednesday. The late summer breeze made it’s way into the cab thorugh the window that was opened on the drivers side. Your phone screen lit up, multiple notification from Instagram. 
“omg! slay bbygrl”
“her face is crazy pretty”
“beautiful”
You’ve heard these words too many times. If you’re told the same thing over and over again they eventually mean nothing. You scrolled through the other comments on your latest instagram post, a photo from your last photoshoot. A picture of you lying in a bed of white flowers, your skin glowing and your body covered by a white sheer dress that accentuated your neck. It’s not a bad photo but was I really worth the attention? “There are a thousands of other girls way prettier than me.” you though and with a sulken expression you watched life run by outside the window. 
15 minutes later you arrived at your agency. You smiled your model smile at the taxi driver to which he smiled back and responded: “My pleasure, miss y/n”.
A big shadow was cast from the building in which the modeling agency was. The beige renaissance building was surrounded by green bushes and a black fence. The big oak entryway had golden lion knockers and an ingraved golden sign. “Eccellente Modeling Agency” it said with bold black letters, contrasting nicely with the gold plate. You rang the doorbell next to the sign and in a matter of seconds the oak gates opened with a loud creak.
“Y/n!! You look stunning as always!” said your manager Bangchan as he hugged you. The smell of his aftershave violated your olfactory sense as usual, making you scrunch your nose. He was always dressed business casual, his white polo shirt and light brown dress pants being a good example but today his poloshirt had a great amount of buttons unbuttoned. 
The both of you made your way into his office. A room with a high ceiling and a chandelier worth more than your career. You sat down in the leather couch across the desk, Bangchan sitting on the other side of it. 
“Give me a moment.... Just pulling up some files for the new photoshoot I’ve planned! I promise, you’re not gonna be disappointed.” he says smiling, the desktop screen reflecting in his brown eyes.
He turns his computer screen towards you. Your eyes scan the pictures that pop up. 
“May I present to you the profile of Hwang Hyunjin. One of the most renowned photographers of this age”. Bangchan looks at you, reading your expression. 
The pictures are truly beautiful. Everything, from the outfits to the lightning was perfect.
“Bangchan, you’re insane” you say, smiling widely as you made eye contact with the dark haired manager. “These pictures are so stunning!” you squeal. “How did you even get in contact with him?”
“Nothing for you to worry about y/n, I have my contacts. I’m a manager after all”. He scoffs whilst scrolling through the profile. The next picture getting better than the previous one.
“So... when is the shoot and what concept have you planned?” you say whilst your eyes are glued to the computer screen. 
“Mr, Hwang works for a multitude of companies but Styliz needed a model for their new pastel collection which I immedietly snatched onto. We all know how beautiful you look in pastels y/n” he said attentively to which you smiled, adoring the interest he has for his work. 
“Oh.. I also cheked your schedule and you seem free tomorrow so how about then?” he added. 
“Yes! I’d love too” you said with a small nod.
“Not that you have much choice, Mr Hwang’s time is worth gold y/n” he laughed and reached for something in his cabinet drawers.
“Here, take this” he said while sliding over a light grey business card.
‘Hwang Hyunjin, Photographer’ was written in dark grey letters. A black border decorating the edges of the card.
The morning sun shined thorugh the curtains blinding you temporarily. You felt after your phone on the nightstand with you hand, your eyes still closed. ‘8:05 am’ the screen showed against the background picture of your family.
You missed them, moving to a different city across the country at the young age of 18 was scary. You’ve aged, that’s for sure but you still missed them dearly. Dragging your lifeless body to the shower you hope for a day with happiness whilst the warm water hits your bare skin. It was a big day after all. A photoshoot with photographer Hwang Hyunjin. “Me... on Hyunjins work? It must be a dream...” you thought, grabbing the towel hanging on the cold, silver rack.
You dryed off your thick hair with a light pink towel with one hand whilst the other hand held your phone. “I have to look at his photos again” you thought, tapping on the Instagram icon and typing “Hwang Hyunjin” in the search bar, hoping and praying that his work was published on the social media platform.
“@ photographerHwang” was the first result to pop up and you tapped it instantly being just as surprised as you were yesterday of the beauty that his photos carried. Bumping into the table on your way to the kitchen you noticed a different photo on his feed. It didn’t look like any of the other photos because it was a selfie. You dropped your towel on the floor. No... it can’t be him... or could it?
His face looked like a work of art. Not only was the photo nicely edited with warm light emitting from your screen but the person was even more eyecatching. “It’s probably one of his models” you though as you placed your phone on the kitchen counter and grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge.
But what if it’s really him?
You threw on a grey hoodie and biker shorts before you flew out to the taxi waiting for you outside the apartment. 
“Sorry for keeping you waiting sir! Here!” you said while panting, quickly pulling up a text message you got from Bangchan sharing the location of the photoshoot. 
“Please, Miss y/n! No need to apologize” laughed the middle aged taxi driver softly. You were now on your way to the shoot. 
Your brain was scattered. One part of you hoped that Mr Hwang really was the boy you saw on his instagram. His long, blond locks slightly covering his sharp jaw. His skin clear as day and rosy lips plump like two rose petals. The other part shut everything down, convinced that it’s one of his models that happened to be to your liking. 
You opened his instagram page again. 
“He must be famous for his perfect features...” you said under your breath, staring at his lips.
The whole taxi ride was filled with thoughts of him, whoever he was. 
“Soon there miss y/n” the taxi driver said after 10 minutes of driving. The taxi slowed down and looking outside the window you saw Bangchan standing infront of a building that looked similar to the agency building. You waved slightly and he waved back at you.
You turned around to the driver and said; “Thank you so much sir”, giving him a generous tip and exiting the vehicle. A warm breeze latches on to you, making your hair flutter in the motions of the wind.
“Y/n! Perfectly on time” Bangchan said and hugged you.
You hugged him back, asking him about his day so far to which he responded;
“Good but going to be even better after this legendary photoshoot is done and we have the most perfect photos taken by the most influential photographer!” he sounded like a little child in a candy shop.
Your ears heated up due to his words and you smiled slightly.
“Let’s go to the second floor and get your outfit and makeup ready. A introduction with Styliz manager won’t be needed since he already knows your delightful personality” he laughed at his corny remarks and you did the same.
“You seem even more excited than me” you remarked, pressing the elevator button.
“When you see the end result you will be floored” Bangchan said and winked at you. 
The elevator clanged. “Second floor”. The metal doors slided open. The eyes of a dozen stylists and makeup artists caught onto you. A slightly potbellied man in a navy colored suit approached you.
“Y/n! I’m so happy to see work with you again.” His voice was hoarse due to his age but his personality being the total opposite. You knew him well since Styliz’s chief was one of the first to offer you a modeling job in a foreign city, you only being a teenager with a big dreams at the time.
“Mr. Styliz! It’s lovely to meet you again” you smiled and sat down in a makeup chair, a girl with blond hair and big hoop earrings starting to brush powder across your nose. You saw Bangchans figure leave behind a door in the reflection of the mirror. 
“Mr. Styliz, might I ask you a question?” You regretted the words as soon as the came out of your mouth. You didn’t need more information about the mysterious boy you saw on Hwang’s instagram page but you simply had to know who is was. 
“Well of course y/n” said Mr. Styliz, his warm breath touched your cheek as he stood right by your side, smelling of morning coffee and looking at you through the mirror. 
“Could I please get more information about Mr.Hwang?” you said, making eye contact with the old man. 
“y/n, you’ll meet him soon! Then you can ask him how much you would like about his life but I must warn you... He is quite the secretive type”. The coffee breath was accentuated as he laughed.
You tried to play along, laughing a fake laugh as the hair designer started to brush out your locks. A wave of embarrassment washed through you. 
The lights of the makeup mirror were getting hot, tiny sweat drops beading on your forehead which the makeup artist wiped off. 
“We are done, Miss y/n” said the makeup artist, her earrings reflecting the light in the studio. You thanked her and saw Bangchan standing at the door where the cameras were. 
“y/n, not much time left. Please go down the hallway and into the second door on your left, the stylist is in there fixing your outfit”. One reason as to why you loved Bangchan as your manager was his calm temper. Even in a time crunch, he always made sure to talk to you in a serene tone. After years in the modeling industry you still couldn’t get used to the ill-tempered staff. Too many times you had been forcefully dragged down corridors and streets whilst they muttered swear words at you. Even thinking about it sends shivers down your spine. 
Your shoes tapped the white linoleum as you made your way down the narrow hallway, knocking on the second door to your left just as Bangchan said. 
A familiar voice said; “Come in!” to which you turned the golden doorknob on  the white wooden door. The tall figure was rummaging in a big plastic container filled with clothes but upon your arrival the figure greeted you with warm eyes. 
“No way!! It’s y/n!” screeched Jisung. He pulled you in to a hug, his belt buckle hit your stomach through the grey hoodie. 
Jisung was a stylist and worked closely with Mr. Styliz therefore you’d gotten close to him. Not only did you like him for his exquisite fashion sense which had a whole different concept each time you saw him but also for his friendliness, always being polite. 
“I’ve missed you so much Jisungie” you said with a pout. 
“I though it was onesided but I guess not haha”
“Don’t be silly! How could I not miss that smile of your Sungie?” you hit him playfully on the arm to which he blushed. 
“Go behind that  and I’ll throw some clothes for you.” he pointed at the wooden divider standing in the corner of the white room filled with clothes racks and colorful clothing. 
You started undressing behind the divider and suddenly a pile of clothing was thrown on your head over the divider. You heard Jisung snicker at the yelp that came out of your mouth as you drowned in the clothes
“Jisung, you are so dead when I’m done” you said whilst putting on the last details to the outfit.
“I’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry” he said pleadingly while laughing hysterically. 
You stood on the podium infront of the full lenght mirrors in the room as Jisung observed you and pinned the clothes slightly. 
“Not gonna lie, it’s looks really good on you. The pastels matches perfectly with your skintone.” Jisung looked on the pleaded white skirt you had on. 
You looked in the mirror and shook your head in agreement. The pastel purple sweater with the white collar poking out made you look youthful and innocent. You had on patent mary jane shoes in the same purple color as your sweater. The white kneesocks were slipping down as you moved slightly, almost looking like a school girl as you bend down to lift the socks up. 
“Do you like it?” Jisung looked at you through the reflection on the mirror, standing on the floor making him a head shorter than you. 
“Yea! You’ve never given me a bad outfit Sungie, they’re always adorable. My favorite stylist but don’t tell that to Bangchan” you smirked to which Jisung laughed.
“y/n, Jisung did a great job! You fit the concept to a tee” Bangchan stood infront of two wide dark green doors which led to the photostudio. He smiled shyly and pushed the doors open, a bright white light blinding you as you stepped in.
You squinted and held your hand infront of your eyes as you entered the studio, the air stuffy from all the white boxlights that have been working for a while.
“Miss y/n is here now, Mr. Hwang” Bangchan announced.
Your eyes felt blurry and the lights created a bokeh effect, your vision feeling like a filter. The first thing you saw was him. Hwang Hyunjin.
The shock froze your feet in one position. It was him. The selfie was Hyunjin. And he was hotter in real life.
A tall, slender figure stood on one foot, the other one behind his leg with the tip of the shoe pointing towards the floor. 
“Are you ready, miss y/l/n?”.
His voice was sweeter than honeysuckle, you melted upon hearing him speak. Bangchan looked at you confused when you didn’t move, just observing the presence of the blonde boy infront of you. 
“y/n?” Bangchan had a worried expression on his face as your face broke out in a massive blush. 
“yeah..uh-mm..yes” you only managed to get that out before you were infront of the camera. 
His willowy fingers wrapped around the black Canon camera, it fit perfectly in his hands as if it was made for him. You gulped upon seeing the veins that ran up his exposed arms, the white shirt bunched up by his elbows. 
“Everything good miss? You seem distant” he said in that raspy but sweet voice. 
“Uhm...yeah totally..” you looked awkward with your hands by your side as you saw Bangchan observing you with a confused gaze. 
“Please tilt your head to the right and stand broad with your feet” Hyunjin commanded to which you complied. The flash of the big studio lights didn’t effect you as much anymore since you were used to this but what did effect you was how concentrated Hyunjin looked. Like a true photographer. It was obvious that he enjoyed his job by the way his eyes shined when he looked at the monitor and corrected every detail. Luckily you could stare at his figure all that you wanted since it looked like you were keeping eye contact with the camera and not him. Glancing over to the left of the photographer you saw Bangchan smiling his bright smile, signaling that he’s proud over you. 
Flash
Flash
And another flash before Hyunjin looked at the monitor displaying the photos he just took, a smirk crept onto his face. 
“Good job y/l/n. Could you please grab that chair over there and sit on the edge of it?” he said whilst pointing towards a small wooden stool. Reacting instantly to his soft voice and gestures you pulled the stool towards the x on the ground, making sure you were in frame. 
“One leg over the other” Hyunjin said without even looking towards you, his pale veiny hands were now twisting and turning some buttons on both the camera and monitor. You shook your head up and down slightly in agreement before doing as told and as Hyunjin turned back his chocolatey brown eyes landed on yours. Now it was impossible to hide your burning cheeks, Hyunjin noticed since he laughed stiffly before grabbing the camera off the camera stand and going down on one knee to capture an angle from below. Numerous amounts of sparks from the big box lights were emitted and after every spark Hyunjin turned around to the screen which displayed your figure. Staring at him you smiled slowly, feeling your heart beat faster. Why do I feel like this by just looking at him? Your head was clouded with millions of other thoughts. Just as you started tuning out the room Hyunjin clapped his hands hard, the sound ringing in your ears. You jumped slightly which made Bangchan laugh.
“All done! Nice work everybody” Hyunjin announced loudly before bowing down to the other staff members in the room and to you as well. You returned his gesture by a slight bow of the head and quickly scurried of to Bangchan, your face hot.
“Are you sure you’re not ill?” Bangchan said softly before putting the back of his hand towards your forehead. Shaking your head from side to side you pushed his hand away. 
“No, I’m fine... just so hot with the box lights you know?” you laughed fumblingly, not knowing where to rest your gaze. 
You felt someone tap you on your left shoulder and you almost fainted when you turned around. Hyunjin was standing three footsteps from you, the scent of his cologne making you swoon. He smiled as he saw your shy expression and sparkling eyes.
“I though that it must have been hot, here have this”
He casually held out a waterbottle which you received with both hands as a gesture of thankfulness. 
“y/n, I’m just gonna head off to Jisung to discuss something. Meet me at the changing rooms in about 10, ok?” Bangchan said, slightly leaning towards your ear. 
“Yeah, see you in 10!” you said while the managers back disappeared through the broad doors of the studio. Turning back to Hyunjin his blond locks were draped infront of his eyes and as he spoke he tucked those light pieces behind his ear, revealing his small silver hoop earrings.
“I’m gonna pack up the cords now but it was a pleasure to work with you, miss y/l/n” 
The corners of your mouth went upwards at his formality.
“Please, call me y/n” you said quietly, being too shy to look him in the eyes.
“Sure, see you around y/n” Hyunjin said as he lifted up his hand to shake yours. His lanky fingers were filled with bold rings, many of which were designer. A slight panic rushed through your mind as you didn’t want to scare him away with your clammy hands. The sweaty hands and the churning of your stomach was all due to Hyunjin nearness. Hesitantly you streched the tips of your fingers against the blond haired boy and his hand emitted warmth when being met with your fingertips. He smiled before turning back, his eyes forming into half moons as charming dimples errupted on his lean cheeks.
You bowed to the other staff members on your way out of the building on your way to meet Bangchan and Jisung in the changing room. The waterbottle in your hand almost slipped as you took another clunck of the fresh water and that’s when you noticed something. Stopping in the hallway where the stylists room was located you inspected the waterbottle and saw a black marker scribble on the wrapper around the bottle. Upon removing it your heart stopped. Your knees could give up at any moment from the sheer shock. Am I losing my mind? A number was��loosely doodled on the white plastic wrapper and underneath it there was a message. 
Call me 
// Hyunjin
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𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥
@vogueinnie @that-anxious-bisexual @putmetogetheragain13 @hyunsluvv @lawleighette @meow-minho @minaamhh @ohmysparkle @hwangi @rindomo​ @fleeingreality @nycol-ie @jisungsplatforms
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youarejesting · 4 years ago
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Hope in the sheets.7
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[Masterlist]
Beta: N/A Pairing: Hoseok x Reader Genre: Friendship, Comedy, Soft boy, Fluff, SMUT, Friends2Lovers, Words: 4.4k
Summary: You held many titles: his neighbor, colleague, wing-man… well, more likely a wing-woman, yet most importantly, you were his best friend. You had been friends since you were born. Between the two of you, you were younger; barely, but he never let you forget it. He always seemed to ruffle your hair and tease you, which could get rather annoying but he made up for it by treating you to things.
What if a drunken one night stand between you and your best friend Hoseok leads to more complicated situations? Your reckless twenties are cut short as you find yourself suddenly responsible for something a little more.
Warning: mentions a sex tape, mentions a birth tape
[First] [Previous] [Masterlist] [Next]
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 “Ah! Ah! Ah!” This videotape felt dirty, Hoseok wasn’t sure why, but he was sweaty, his heart raced, as he tried to look anywhere but at the screen. The woman on the video kept making noises and heaven forbid he look between her legs. Was it warm in here or was it just him?
“As you can see the birth canal opens up wide to let the babies head come down and out and the shoulder here is the widest part, so you have to be careful to listen to your body otherwise you may tear, so here we go these are the final pushes and then the baby will slip out—”
“Hoseok, Hoseok wake up!” You called alarmed, Hoseok opened his eyes to see you and the birth class instructor standing over him.
“Don’t worry love, there is always one in every class who faints” The woman handed over some ice, “Put this behind his neck it will help slow his heart rate, nerves sometimes get the better of the soon to be dads”
Sitting up Hoseok sat up a little embarrassed, “sorry, I didn’t mean to faint”
“No, Hobi, it’s okay I feel nauseous as hell after that video too.  That looks scary as hell I don’t think I can do it” you whined. “This class traumatized me more than it helped, and what do we get a couple of cookies and some watered down juice. 
“You are so strong and I think you can do it?” Hoseok tried to reassure you and you scoffed. 
“If you're so confident you push the baby out.” Hoseok paled again swaying on the spot and you laid him back down. “You are properly scared aren’t you?”
“I am horrified,” he laughed, “I am a big chicken”
“Honestly, I am scared too but I don’t get a choice Hobi, this baby is inside me and it has to get out somehow." you shiver after confessing the fear that had been building in the back of your mind. “If I wasn’t afraid of surgery I would install the old side door”
The gesture of a flat hand across your stomach made Hoseok smile sadly. He took your hands in his. 
“I’m sorry that you have been dreading this. I will try to be someone who can eliminate your fears, little darling momma” he kissed your head. The instructor called everyone back to the mats and began explaining how to wash a baby and how to hold a baby for the first time. 
It was a fun class but you were happy to get home and rest, biding Hoseok good night. He went quickly to his house where Jimin was sitting waiting for him with a hanging clothes bag. 
“What were you so busy doing that I had to pick up your dry cleaning?”
“Y/n’s birthing class” Hoseok's face turned grave as he adopted a serious tone. “Jimin, don’t ever go to a birthing class. I don’t think I can unsee what I saw.”
“Haha, I’m not that silly, I know where babies come from. I am glad I am a man who likes men, so I will never step foot in a birthing class unless you pay me a large fortune. I mean I could watch someone give birth for money."
Hoseok shivered, making Jimin laugh at his expense. “You look pale, so let's change the subject. I bought Yoongi's old van. He sold it for some new equipment. That means I can get rid of the junk van I was driving before.”
“Can I have your old van?” Hoseok jumped on the opportunity. 
“Uh sure, but I think it’s more money than it’s worth, you can have it for free because it needs new everything.” He shrugged “I was just going to make it scrapped metal”
“Yeah I can fix it up, I got some money lying around.” Hoseok yawned, “anyway thank you so much for getting my suit. I have my first day of work tomorrow, so I should go to bed early”
“Alright, but tomorrow night celebratory drinks for your first day?” Jimin clutched his shoulder. 
“Of course,” Hoseok laughed, waving goodbye and carrying the suit to his apartment. 
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“Hey man, how was your day?” Jimin shouted from his newly acquired van from Yoongi. “Get in, we can celebrate tonight” 
Jimin drove Hoseok home under strict orders to grab a nice change of clothes so the two could get ready at his house and go out celebrating Hoseok’s new job. Hoseok took the stairs two at a time leading to his apartment, his hand brushing past your old door. He missed you. He missed having you at his work, at his home, at his leisure. You two were inseparable and yet torn apart by the stages of life.
Hoseok had assumed you both would be single and somewhere in your mid-thirties you would just get married to one another for convenience. He grabbed some clothes and found the blacklight outfit you had bought for him, he pushed it aside trying to move on for just a moment. 
Instead, he grabbed a classic black button-up and a pair of black dress pants. He placed the items in a bag and headed back down to Jimin waiting excitedly in the driver's seat. He drove them across town singing along to the radio and pulled into the driveway of a beautiful home. Jimin was a sugar baby and so he accumulated a lot of money with ease.
Jimin picked up the package by his doorstep curiously and read the name, his face broke out into a smile. Opening the box he found a beautiful pair of earrings. Hoseok paused, knowing Jimin had been talking about these types of earrings for a long time, but these ones looked handmade and a little cheap, not from a brand-name store like most of Jimin’s other clients would buy.
“They are so cute,” Jimin smiled, lifting the note, reading it aloud. “I don’t have money, so I don’t ask for much, it would just be a waste of your time. Even with this, I still want you to know that I think you are really sweet the way you always help others and never forget to share compliments to those who catch your eye. I will never forget how kind and funny, you are especially at work. The way you run your fingers through your hair unconsciously, how you pout when you think, the way you can glide across the dance floor with drinks without spilling anything. You disappear behind the bar with the cutest laugh and I am completely in love with you.”
“You have an admirer,” Hoseok looked over his shoulder at the letter before asking, “I wonder who it is?”
“I am not sure who it could be?” Jimin frowned, taking the box into a spare room filled with gifts. “They seem really nice”
Once the letter was placed carefully in the room, Jimin stepped out and decided to get dressed for the night. He paused in the doorway walking back and taking the earrings. “Even though they are cheap I think I should at least wear them.”
The two got changed and Jimin posed, “take a picture of me looking over my shoulder, so I can post a picture of the earrings on my Insta”
Hoseok picked up his phone and stepped behind Jimin, ready to take the picture of Jimin’s bare shoulder, earring, and side profile. He stopped when his phone came up with the stupid storage message.
Storage full!
You can free up space on this phone by managing your storage in settings.
“I can’t take a picture,” Hoseok sighed. “My phone storage is full”
“It’s okay, I should put on a bit of makeup to make the picture really pretty. While I do that, use my computer to plug it in and delete stuff. You can save the rest onto a USB, which you will find in the top draw. The USBs should be empty.
Hoseok watched Jimin stroll into the bathroom and thought he might as well take care of this storage issue on the phone. Plugging the device in, Hoseok began going through and deleting memes and stupid screenshots he no longer needed. He went through saving many photos of you, and videos the two of you shared together.
That's when he came across the picture of the two of you dressed in your black light outfits. Both of you looking happy together in the mirror. Hoseok saved the photo to the USB. The next was a blurry picture on the dance floor, he didn’t need that.
Deleting a range of blurred photos, Hoseok kept swiping through them until he came across a video of you and Hoseok walking home. He heard you giggling and unconsciously smiled. He honestly was so in love with you.
There were a few more blurred videos and then there was a video of you two laying in Hoseok’s bed. His heart started to race as he watched you lean down and kiss him in the video. Hoseok couldn’t remember any of this.
The next video was of you removing your dress but it continued, sometimes the phone was just left on the bed face down, at other points, it was lifted and Hoseok heard himself talking as he pointed the camera at you underneath him. “I love you.” He had filmed you while you two were having sex, “I love being inside of you too.”
Hoseok felt a little guilty, while you two were drunk he took a video of you both, not only that but he felt as if he took advantage of you. The next video was taken from behind and Hoseok felt ashamed of himself for the stirring in his pants. 
“Are you watching porn?” Jimin laughed from the next room, confused as Hoseok switched to the next video. The two of you were cuddling on your side, Hoseok being the big spoon. 
Hoseok's face fell. What had he just watched? His head was reeling with so many thoughts that he couldn’t process them fast enough. He understood that it was you in the video, and you were with him. It was that night. Were you his dream girl? “I slept with Y/n?” He blurted and like being hit with a truck he came to a shocking revelation. Hoseok shot to his feet and spoke out loud hoping it would help him make sense of the situation, “Am I, I think, I might be the father?”
“Oh, Finally!” Jimin shouted, his voice carrying into the office. “I have been waiting for you to figure it all out”
“What do you mean?” Hoseok said his stomach was feeling sick, he didn’t know if he wanted to vomit or cry. The betrayal setting in, “How did you know? DID SHE KNOW?”
Jimin stepped into the room, his lips pressed together in a thin line, with a look of pity on his face confirming Hoseok's suspicion. Hoseok got up, his eyes flashing around the room in a panic. He pushed past Jimin and grabbed the old set of keys from the countertop. Hoseok escaped and drove fast. He didn’t have a destination in mind but after a few minutes of driving he ended up at a park by Han River.
Shutting off the engine, Hoseok let his hands fall from the wheel, his head resting back against the seat, letting out a loud guttural shout. He let the tears fall freely as his sobs racked his body, every breath catching in his throat as if he was choking. 
Hoseok wanted to scream, he wanted answers. They all knew. You knew. He thought he was your best friend, someone he trusted with all his secrets, and yet you kept something this big from him. The sick feeling in his stomach grew as did his anger and frustration with the situation.
How long were you going to keep this from him? When the baby was born? When the child was eighteen? Never? He had a right to know but all he wanted to know was why. 
He left the vehicle, his phone ringing with your number but he turned it off. He walked to the nearest bar somewhere dark and quiet and he drank until he couldn’t see his hands. 
“Hey mate you have to go, come on get up.” The bartender said, nudging him with an exaggerated sigh, “Mate can I call someone to come get you?”
“No one, my best friend is a liar, she is pregnant and didn’t even tell me it is my child,” Hoseok mumbled into the table. The bartender sighed again reaching into his pocket, “Who do you want me to call mate?”
“No need to call, I will go,” he said, pulling out his keys only to have them snatched from his hand. Hoseok turned to see Yoongi grabbing Hoseok’s things and thanking the bartender. “What do you want?”
“I got a distressed call from Y/n she is hysterical, I have checked in every bar and searched the nearby streets for Jimin’s old van. Yoongi threw the keys to Jimin who was waiting by the abandoned van and Yoongi scooped Hoseok inside.
Hoseok woke as Yoongi turned the key in the ignition they were headed for his home, but Hoseok had other plans. “You knew didn’t you?” Hoseok growled, “Take me to her."
“Not in this state?” Yoongi said definitely. “You are going to sober up, and then tomorrow you can speak with her.”
“You take me there right now, or I will get out of this car and go there myself!” Hoseok demanded, attempting to remove his seatbelt.
“Alright, alright sit down, I will take you to see her, but if you raise your voice at her I will knock you out and drag you back to your apartment." Yoongi turned to Hoseok with a menacing glare. "Do you understand?”
He nodded needing answers and he wasn't going to stop until you gave them to him. They pulled up outside your home and as he walked to the door he felt as if his legs were weak, ready to give way. He knocked with shaking hands.
He didn’t have to wait long for you to pull open the door eyes pink and swollen from your own tears.
"Hobi, I-" 
"Please don’t talk, you had your chance. This whole time, and you didn’t… You didn’t tell me, little darling.” His voice cracked as he held up a hand to stop you, “it’s my turn to talk, you can listen to me.”
He watched you wipe the tears away, he wanted to comfort you, you were his closest friend. He loved you so much and couldn’t bear to see you upset. “You knew we had sex, you knew what we did and you hid that from me, you fell pregnant and you hid that from me?”
“I told you when I lost my virginity, I told you when I scratched my dad’s car, I told you when I took money from my fathers wallet, or when I stole your homework. I told you when I was moving from home, I told you everything good and bad.” Hoseok pulled out the phone and played the video, the sounds of you two together filling the air. “But you couldn’t tell me, your best friend, that we did this? That I might be the father of this baby?”
“Hobi, I wanted to tell you I was-” Your tears were relentless and it looked like the weight of the world was crushing you with guilt. You looked lost, he knew there must be so much you wanted to say and explain but the words escaped you. All you could think to do was apologize, like some sort of animatronic doll with one function.
“Wanted to tell me isn’t telling me,” he frowned. “Say it, is this baby mine?”
“Yes, you are the father?” You whimpered, holding your stomach. Hoseok didn’t feel better. He didn’t feel better confronting you or getting the truth. He didn’t feel better watching you cry. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. You are all I have Hobi, and I love you.”
“I thought I loved you too. I thought I really truly loved you, that even though I wasn’t the father, I would step in if I could. It turns out the woman I fell in love with is nothing but a liar.” Hoseok turned away unable to see your face contort in pain from the words he was saying, “I am disappointed in you. You said you wanted to grow up, but this is so immature”
Demanding to leave, Yoongi took Hoseok and headed to the van once more, hoping that the two of you could rebuild your relationship. It was painfully obvious that you both were painfully in love, so much so, that it was breaking your hearts more to fight with one another, than over whatever the fight was about.
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You had spent the rest of the night crying until pure exhaustion took over your body and you fell asleep. No matter how many times you texted or called you got no response. You had left almost fifteen voicemails before you became too hysterical to speak. You were emotional and trying your hardest not to break down long enough for you to think things through. 
It took four days and sitting in the bottom of the shower for ten minutes before you came to a decision. Even before Hoseok knew he was the father, you had planned to do it on your own. You weren't weak and you knew for certain that you would be okay. You had planned to raise this child as a single mother, you had hoped to tell Hoseok before all this happened, but you had planned for it just in case something like this did happen.
You could do this without Hoseok, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt, that you weren't mourning the relationship you had lost. You picked yourself up and put on a brave face crying only when you were alone as you single-handedly funded Ben and Jerry's company with the amount of ice cream you consumed.
You arrived at the next prenatal appointment. You watched all the couples cooing at their bellies and the little sonogram photos, as you sat alone quietly rubbing your belly and thinking how much you loved this child.
It strengthened your bond between you and your baby. You were working hard at your job, not ready to go on maternity leave as you didn’t know how financially stable you would be. You also worried because, without the distractions of work, you realized how alone you truly were and how much you missed Hoseok.
You wanted nothing more than to go back in time and take it all back. You wanted to get the courage and tell him. You would give anything to wake up beside him the morning after and just let yourselves deal with the aftermath.
Your mother's words echoed in your head, only able to be drowned out by the sound of your baby's heartbeat through the doppler, as the ultrasound technician measured your sweet little baby girl.
She had done no wrong and deserved only good things. It was on your way home from the scan that you decided to enter the baby boutique. You knew you were filling a Hoseok shaped void in your chest but you didn’t care, purchasing clothes, socks and shoes, and a tiny beanie all in mint green, white, or grey. At the checkout, you saw a small personal travel doppler for eighty dollars. It wasn’t as strong or as reliable as the one at the clinic but you bought it anyway. 
It was the first thing you did when you got home, you put the gel on your stomach and pressed the doppler to your tummy, and listened to the tiny heartbeat and the swishing of the umbilical cord. The tears didn’t stop and that heartbeat in your belly was the mantra to which you swore to live your new life.
You were no longer living for yourself, you were living for your daughter, whom you loved so dearly. You stopped looking for Hoseok through the seventh and moved into the eighth month of your pregnancy feeling semi-okay.
Called by the marketing director to meet with the client, you followed him with documents, “Why did you pick me?” you asked
“You are the only one fit for this job,” He said, which made you feel odd, surely the pregnant lady wasn’t the first choice. However, you obeyed his orders, grabbed your coat, and followed to the restaurant where you were met with an unbelievable sight. 
There was Hoseok standing by a beautiful woman dressed in a suit. Not only was it a punch to the chest, but it also left you self-conscious, resembling a chocolate egg. The way your body was so rotund did not do wonders for one's self-esteem.
Hoseok didn’t notice you until you stepped up to the table, your director announcing your arrival and greeting the young woman with a kiss on each cheek. “This is my hardest working assistant Miss Y/n,” The director said and you wondered again why he had chosen you to accompany him to the meeting.
“Well let’s get to business” the client smiled. You sat at the table and they brought out menus. “I will have the salmon en papillote, with a nice chardonnay.” 
“I will have the same,” the marketing director said, attempting to look cool but you weren’t so sure.
“We will have the Steak au Poivre, I will take medium rare and she will have hers well done. What is in the side salad?” Hoseok asked and you looked up over the menu shocked by his audacity.
“We use a mesclun mix for its various colors and textures, with Lebanese cucumbers and avocado for a fresh and creamy taste and a drizzle of classic french vinaigrette” the waiter smiled politely. 
“Skip the salads and instead vegetables would be preferable for both.” Hoseok closed the menu and looked up, the waiter looked at you for confirmation and you nodded handing over the menu.
“Have you two met before?” The client asked curiously and Hoseok shook his head, “It’s just you ordered for her?”
“She is pregnant so the best meat option is beef well cooked, and the salad would most likely make her sick due to the acidity in the vinaigrette.” Hoseok continued,  “the vegetables, though plain, will be easier to handle and will benefit her better than a salad. It is something I learned in a birthing class once”
“Yeah, and you haven’t been back since.” You scoffed, drinking your water trying to calm yourself so you didn’t explode with anger.
“I didn’t think I had to, seeing as I am not the father of any children.” He said dryly back and you stood up throwing the napkin at him, tears welling up in your eyes. You didn’t care if he didn’t like you and refused to acknowledge your presence ever again, but saying that about your child was not okay.
“You take that back, Hoseok." You almost shouted but restrained yourself due to the setting, Hoseok didn’t appear to move and you tilted your head back and took a shaky breath. “I am sorry, it seems I am feeling ill, allow me to leave first”
You stepped out the door and headed down the road trying to find a cab when a hand grabbed your arm. Disappointed when it turned out to be the marketing director. “I rescheduled our meeting, I am sorry, you had to deal with something like this, it must be stressful being so pregnant”
He touched your belly and you were a little uncomfortable. This man was a little too interested in your pregnancy. At first, you thought he was just a nice boss who was looking out for you, but it was clear he had some strange thoughts running through his mind.
When he said he would drive you home, you told him you had an appointment. Even then he was determined to take you to the appointment, but you waved down a cab and jumped in quickly. You arrived at Jin and Tonic for a much-needed appointment.
“I want a drink” you sighed and Seokjin gave you water and you looked up seriously. I want an actual drink Jin, I am going through the worst year of my life.”
“Worse than the time you tried to become a volunteer at a homeless center, where some weird lady cut chunks out of your hair, so you had to shave it off?"
"Then you got into a fight with Hoseok because he drew an arrow on your head while you were sleeping and everyone called you Aang,” Jimin added as he shed his small jacket, showing off a pretty choker chain necklace with a rose pendant. “Cause you said that was the worst year of your life.”
“This is worse,” you said. “At least I was the one angry at Hobi and I forgave him quickly, now he is angry at me and even denied being the father of our baby. That’s not even the worst of it. My boss has some sort of pregnancy fetish and keeps trying to touch my belly and I am not here for it”
“Pregnancy fetish?”
“It’s not sexy, I am swollen from the neck down, I couldn’t see my feet this morning. I just hope I wore the same shoes. My bladder is so squished I am peeing all the time, I am hormonal and sweaty, and I can’t fit into my favorite pajamas.” The hysterical sobbing was muffled by the bar and it made Jimin giggle behind his hand. He walked around to give you a hug and Jin presented you with an ice cream sundae in an effort to cheer you up.
“Dance with me, pretty lady,” Yoongi said, finishing his drink and taking your hand. He led you to the dance floor where you were slow dancing like you used to. “You are still as pretty as always. Okay, you may not feel beautiful right now due to all those things, but I promise that you are.”
“Thanks, Yoongi.” You tried to get close enough to hug Yoongi but your belly prevented you from doing so, he stepped behind you and wrapped his arms around you slipping his hands under your belly and swaying. He was trying to take some of the weight to relieve some pressure on your back. “You are amazing,”
“I am, aren't I.” He laughed, swaying you softly.
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