#i may not be as efficient this year but i'll be damned if i don't inflict Multiple prime smooches unto y'all

[ghilenan]

And fauns do also...

This one especially likes the way @frenchy-and-the-sea​‘s Lux does it 😌

Dragons like to be swept off their feet too ya know…

[theadventurerslog]

Quest For Glory IV: Shadows of Darkness | Part 10

The Adventurer's Log

Twiddling my thumbs. I decided to wander the forest, maybe get some stats up, try out my rubber chicken in various place. Maybe I'd find something. Maybe something more would come of the faeries since that's still a loose end and a needed answer for Leshy.

I may not know what to do, but I got a good bush message anyway.

The rubber chicken lured the elderbury bush closer...

But what's the point? Maybe just an alternative way to get berries?

Well, it can have my rubber chicken. It's a gift. I hope it's happy.

Evening finally fell after some napping and dinner and I met with Katrina again. She was missing her scarf this time.

I think she was trying to flirt with me. I also had the options to flirt, date or kiss, and I did try them all in a save, though they didn't go anywhere.

I wasn't considering it a date! And I didn't keep any of the options in my canon save. We can be friends. If I trusted you more. Which I currently don't.

Okay, based on Magda's card readings I think we will end up allies. Maybe?

But I still don't trust her.

A couple other things: she's lived in the castle for many years now. She knows lots of magic and it's always been part of her life. Perhaps she could sometime show me spells I'd never find at W.I.T.

Then she had to go again and wants to meet in three nights. Three nights?? What am I gonna do with all this time?? I wonder if I could have met her the first time outside town earlier in the game, if I hadn't been a coward about going out at night.

I guess unless the next day brings anything, I'll tackle the castle again... I have a lot more stuff and spells now, including aura and hide that both seem like they may be useful there. Maybe I can find Tanya.

Sleep time first though and I tried at Erana's staff this time to see if I got another dream. I did.

It started well again, before the darkness came back. There was a voice of pain and death calling and growing closer bringing with it greater fear.

And then I woke up.

I wonder, is this something interrupting Erana's pleasantness, or this some kind of channeling or experiencing something horrible she herself experienced?

A rough start to a possibly rough day for ol' Cinder.

And then I remembered I wanted to see the Domovoi again so I reloaded. And then it turned out he wasn't there boo. So back to it. Nothing really in town, so off to the castle...

Here we go again! Hopefully it'll prove more fruitful this time...

Everything in this place makes me nervous! Not least the very creaky doors. I got back to the Great Hall which seems like a good starting place?

Then the bedroom again which made a wraith appear when I tried the chest last time. But hide or aura spells? If I hide and use my open spell...

Well, the hide spell failed, and it attacked me.

But I WON. ...and used every last bit of mana to do so. But I have fruit.

The chest only had a healing potion and 25 crowns... not as progress-making or exciting as I'd hoped... I've barely even needed money these days.

I think I found the door to Tanya's room, but guarded....

Nothing to do but open and see what happens!

Surprisingly, not lethal.

The monster just slammed the door in my face and the narrator said it didn't seem to like me letting light in and I might have better luck at night.

Always needing it to be night...like it's thematic or something. It was only around midday. So, I slept a bunch. On the stairs. Restful. I didn't want to lose my way and this room though, so efficiency and good use of time be damned.

And I found Tanya...

There's my first (obvious) vampire... Toby is the furry beast.

She had quite a bit of conversation, especially once I gave her her doll back. Her doll is named Vana and was given to her by Toby.

Everything used to be good and she got to go out all the time with her parents and stay up late to visit the various inn guests, until the rains came and people stopped coming. She wasn't allowed out anymore because her parents were afraid the Bad Things would get her. She had to go to bed at night and was scared of the dark and her dad wouldn't let her even have a candle in fear that would draw a bad thing to her.

Then Toby started showing up at her window and comforting her and telling her he'd keep the bad things away. Turned out "Aunt Trina" is his master and she sent him to her. "Aunt Trina" clearly being Katrina. She said she would be Tanya's friend and Tanya would be her little girl forever and ever.

When her mommy found out about Vana she took the doll away and she was scared they'd make Toby go away if they found out so she ran away with him.

She has her own room now and can play and dance in the great hall with Aunt Trina and her hound, Cuddles. She's not afraid of the dark anymore. She just doesn't like the Dark Man that Trina brought in and wishes he hadn't come. He's mean. Toby doesn't like him either.

She'd like to see Mommy and Daddy again but Aunt Trina says they'd be scared of her now and she doesn't want to scare them. She'll never go back again. Toby would even bring her back to make her happy but doesn't want anything to happen to her.

I asked about Vampires. Those are a scary thing and why they had garlic all over the inn. She used to have garlic but she doesn't like it now. She has a necklace now.

That seems like it may be important...

So... Katrina had her brought here. And she brought the "Dark Man" here who I've been assuming is Ad Avis. What's the motivation behind all this... And I feel like she's baiting me around too.

And now what for me? Telling Bella and Yuri about this doesn't seem like a good idea. I suppose it's possible some kind of closure could come it? But she's clearly a vampire.

I went back to the inn but there we no new options and the Domovoi just seems to be gone now.

I had another dream at Erana's staff.

Then realized it wasn't me doing this but someone in the past. So, channeling some of Erana's memories here?

Then the darkness came again, with a voice calling out drawing me nearer and all warmth being flayed from me.

And I woke up with a scream.

Another day of not really being sure what to do with myself. I thought I might get more from another visit with Tanya, but needed night for that. I went to Erana's Garden to get more fruit.

And I was playing with my Trigger spell, relighting the lamps. I tried it on the water and a closed tulip sprung out.

With my open spell I got it to open revealing a scroll that had a protection spell on it--provides some protection against physical attacks. Well, that would've been nice to discover earlier! I needed to experiment more. Thanks Erana.

Nothing more from Tanya. Another sleep at the staff. Another dream.

Someone there... but reaching out there was no one. And then I woke.

Tonight I would be able to meet Katrina again and hopefully get some direction.

I should have visited the gypsies again. I mean I still didn't get a lot in the way of giving me something to do but Magda did have more to say.

She didn't know of Katrina but said she wouldn't trust her. Don't worry, Magda, I don't.

She had more important sounding stuff to say about Erana's Staff. It protects the town from the undead. She had a vision in which it told her of its protection and the Destiny Spell.

So one person would die to bring another back.

Not sure what to predict on this particular point yet, but good to know...

Davy also mentioned he saw some tall dark man on the castle walls one night turn into a bat. So. Yeah. Vampire action. Just as an aside.

Kind of killing time. I tried to give the Burgomeister (maybe one day I'll use his name, Dmitri) flowers but he wasn't interested.

He wouldn't take candy either, saying he wouldn't take candy from strangers. I'm less of a stranger now! You've been friendly with me even! Let me give you gifts!

Right. New mission for the day. Give everyone flowers. Yuri wasn't interested, but Bella liked them! "Oh, how lovely. I'll put these in some water in the kitchen. Thank you so much. I love flowers."

And Olga:

Nnnnope! I just got you and Boris back together I'm not gonna get between that!

Igor: "Pretty flowers. Look nice on grave." He liked candy too! But not one of my sandwiches; he's allergic to avocado.

And either some people aren't taking or I had more flowers than I thought...

They were too ordinary and common for Dr. Cranium. "Bah. These are just common, ordinary Bellis perennis." Then I thought to give him a magic fruit:

"That fruit is clearly scientifically impossible. Since it violates all known laws of chemistry, physics, and biology, I have no use for!"

What kind of scientist are you?

My gift giving was yielding highly variable results.

I went to go see Katrina again once night fell.

She needed my help but doesn't entirely trust me and is worried about the danger. She wanted me to find some things for her, but too dangerous really...

I got a ritual in the swamp! Look look! I couldn't show her any of them. I think I got a bit ahead of the game here. I could also only ask her about a couple things again before she left. So I was doing some reloads.

So I need more skill before seeing her again and she wants me to be very powerful before visiting Borgov Castle. She wants to be certain I can face all of Mordavia's dangers first. Jokes on you! I've been there a few times! I mean... I haven't run into the "bad man" but, you know. Visits happened.

I really think I needed to be meeting up with her earlier...

She left, disappearing into the mist despite a lack of fog around the area. I'd also tried giving her garlic but she couldn't abide the smell. Vaaaampire.

My hope was that she'd see me again the next evening. I was really floundering here. Or I need to figure out the fairy riddle for Leshy but I have no clues there either. That and two more rituals are all I have left here. I'm running out of things to solve.

I tried levitating over the castle gate since there weren't any necrotaurs yet. I lost access to my cursor and most of my menu... and nothing was happening. Might've broken it a little? This is why we save lots.

I went back to the castle thinking to visit Tanya again and I headed to the great hall, I was able to listen in on an argument. Progress! Things are thinging!

Katrina going full dark mistress and vampire. SEE?

And a dead-looking vampire Ad Avis. He thinks she can't trust "him," being me. That I'd destroy her as soon as finding out what she is.

She thinks I'm already attracted to her (while I've been avoiding every flirt, kiss and date option) and she wants me to act of my own free will and not be her puppet. If she wanted a puppet she could have just used Ad Avis. Heh.

He's still looking to have all the power.

She wasn't impressed by his posturing. He hated her from the moment they met and thought he could use her, but it's she who's always been the master and he the apprentice. Magda's card reading alluded to this. He'll never be the Dark Master--his pride overrides his thinking.

Still not sure what her aim here actually is.

I stopped listening and the great hall was freed up for me to enter.

Nothing new from Tanya and Toby but at least I'm learning my way around the castle.

I decided to try to go back to Erana's Garden after a stop by the gypsy camp to see if anything was different at night--their fire pit was lit and there was a wolf that was all. I got lost trying to find the garden and instead found a magic staff. The staff disappeared when I tried to take it and fairies appeared.

Erana's Staff may be claimed when a sacrifice is made: One life for another. I have to bring about that sacrifice. Once the sacrifice is made I'll need to perform the Ritual of Release which will free the staff from its confinement. But won't that break the protection on the town? She taught me the ritual and in return wants me to come back when I have Erana's Staff.

Will this somehow free Erana? I kinda feel like she's not exactly dead, but trapped. Or both...

The Ritual of Release was added to my spell list now.

And now I maybe have an answer for Leshy, unless I need to complete this first.

I found the garden, I was right near it and had another dream. It started in the wonderful place again but then there was the darkness.

I remembered dying and being overwhelmed with terror and running away. I was helpless and hopeless and remembered eternal loneliness. Then awoke again. Erana...

Next day I will go see Leshy and then see from there... At least I am still finding things despite my uncertainty.

[hel-phoenyx]

New Year's Eve, part 15 (we're nearing March but shhhhh)

An ongoing story with @corneille-but-not-the-author and @soupedepates

I'm sat at my desk, like every days since forever. Cops don't get sick leav for emotional turmoil now, do they. Would be better if they did. Less sickos in the police.

Not even in the mood to be snarky. Amandine commented on how scarce my witty remarks (well, she called that insults and sarcasm) became, and the new one, Dal, I call him Dal, is looking at me weird. He kinda is the only one I talk to because he's the only one not mentioning this shitty rumor.

Job's getting hard. I have files after files to take care of now that Sigismund's on sick leave, Walpurgis told me that since I was the one patrolling with him the most this days I had to pick up the slack the most efficiently. Ha. Just try to shower me in work, I see you, bastard.

It worked the first few days. Took care of the investigation with the sect, talked with Iekaterina le Patriote, Found some leads, but nothing tangible. Then the work started to die down.

And I had no one to talk through the idle.

I open my Instagram. Hector has a new picture. It's him smiling with a giant hot chocolate (that man always had a sweet tooth), probably sitting on a stool since his head is at the same level as Tyr's. Tyr who is sticking his tongue at the camera with a bored expression, his prosthesis stuck in the middle finger.

He's wearing one of those silly shirts he always had on at some point. This one is saying "Autistic powered fuck machine". Way to give a message.

The caption reads "Since mister @/deepseadragon didnt want to go suit shopping with me I'm taking him out of his man cave to drink and he has no choice. Getting tattoos at my shop after that #diy #ifoneofmycolleaguestrytotouchhimiwillbite #nohiddenmeaningiswear". Hector, my man, you are so not subtle I am surprise he still hasn't realised you crush on him since literal middle school.

Well, this is Tyr we are talking about, are we ?

Something taps on my desk. It's Amandine. She's looking at me with her cold eyes. Again.

"Slacking off ?"

"Shut up."

"Wow. No insults this time. You really are unwell, huh ?"

I snarl.

"Why do you care ?"

Eye roll. What, really ?

"Not everyone is out to get you, Wolffsen."

She leaves with that. Right. Not everyone out to get me. Like I will believe that.

Why am I alone if it's the case ?

My phone rings. Oh, it's Idalia. Saying where I saw her the first time would get me immediate prison, people don't do well with blackblockers. But we kept in touch after that. Got her out of a few situations before Walpurgis thought I got too lenient with her. Saw her ex-wife and kid once, tired woman, scared child. Neither of them liked seeing a cop. Can understand that.

"Hey, my man, haven't seen you in events in a while. U good ?"

Sigh. Don't want to, but I should probably explain myself before I lose my "mole" card to her. She would rat me out to the whole group immediatly and guess who would get beaten up by former comrades, forget about the fact I'm giving them all the intel they need ?

"eeeeeeeh, bad couple of months and too tired to care. Still giving intel when I can dw"

"Yeah, got it. Need to vent ? what about your friend, the blonde giant you told me about ?"

"giving me the cold shoulder. did bullshit."

"Damn, tough. can lend you mine if you want."

That kid in political science that hates cops and right-wing politicians except for the future one he wants to fuck ? Met him on some barricades, didn't like him at all. He has the good ideas and actions but his personnality irates me.

I have a grim laugh. Not a damn chance.

"HA ! no."

"lmao I'm not listening to you. Have my own problems. But yk what, can give you the contact info of my therapist. Zuza says it's good when people are payed to hear your bullshit."

A therapist, huh...

May be a good idea, after all.

ironic I'll be the first Wolffsen to see a therapist. The older brothers would be so pissed. Then again, I am a cop, so even though I bring money on the table, and a good amount with that, they have their syrian pride. Can respect that. Can also respect being a disgrace in their eyes for anything I'll do. Always been singled out anyway.

Alright.

Let's look in searching for a therapist.

Later in the day Hector's second instagram post shows a tattoo design, a dragon curled against a leg, his head resting on the ankle. His professional account shows the same but with effects and without the second slide, a blonde man smiling for the first time since forever.

[clarafyer]

MY PERSONAL ART TIPS! A big thread I'll be adding to

I too, was once a 10 year old gacha kid whose only drawings were a way too detailed catgirl persona and friends. I didn't have much in-person or online inspiration and help for a long time! So I'll help others earlier in their art journey (and perhaps the masters too, never not a good idea to try some advice!)

So let me spare some of you a few of the unnecessary mishaps during everyone's art life.

If you've never seen my blog before, hello! My name is Clara. I'm a neurodivergent teen artist, aspiring animator, and resident cat person. It's nice to meet you! If you'd like to know who you're taking advice from, here is some of my latest work!

Now without further ado, LET THE HELP COMMENCE!

STROKES: Fix stiffness in your poses!

To start off, a BIG thing I recommend for newish artists, is don't be afraid to draw loosely! The looser the lines, the less stiff the pose. And stiff poses are a very common issue within the community. Sure, your anatomy may look bad for the first while of drawing looser lines, but it will help you be more confident in strokes. The more confident the stroke, the more efficient an artist. The more efficient an artist, the faster you learn.

To practice loose lines, simply draw a long line as fast as you can. Over and over again. I know, that may seem boring, but it helps train your hand and arm to be faster. But if it's so much a hassle to do in your free time, then do it on the side of a worksheet if you're in school, or a sticky note if you're at work.

Speaking of practicing...

PRACTICE MAKES BETTER: Get over it!

I said the phrase wrong, didn't I? Oh wait, no I didn't. NO ONE IS PERFECT. And don't forget that! There will always be issues, problems, and mistakes in your art that you don't realize until the day after you've shared it with everyone you know. The artist is always their worst critic. So the best thing you can do is to keep at it. Practice your weak points to support the composition more, hone in your strong points to better make a focal point. Practice will always help, even if you don't see it. A slow pace is better than no pace!

"But Clara, what are my weak points? How do I know what I always mess up on!?" you may ask...

ANALYZING YOUR ART: Pros and cons!

Well, pick your latest finished piece and tear it apart (NO NOT LITERALLY OH GOD NO PLEASE-) I mean analyze it. Grab your pen and a separate paper, or just your notes app, and make a list of pros and cons in it. Doing this with multiple pieces is especially important, as with multiple examples, it's easier to find a pattern.

How about this, I'll give you an example!

Here we have a piece I made a few weeks ago. It's of my Western AU of my main cast of OCs. TIME TO NITPICK!

WEAK POINTS

- The clouds are too detailed compared to the rest of the composition

- The right horse seems very stiff (I already am aware I struggle with drawing animals nowadays)

- The funky hatching I did with the plateaus in the background just isn't working out as well as I thought it would anymore

- the god damn horse on the right

- The sky in the middle just seems far too empty. I could have added more indication of the sun at the top to add more noise

STRONG POINTS

- The color palette I chose blends well while having the colors still be sharp and clear against each other

- The entirety of the woman and her horse on the left

- The glitchy effect adds some zestiness to it that I love

- The whole thing looks quite cinematic, with a successful wide shot and the black bars imitating that of a movie's

- The inlines of the otherwise completely flat-colored silhouettes help define the overlapping shapes quite well

And there you have it, 5 pros and cons each I found in something you probably only noticed were little to none. No, I'm not bragging, it's an actual psychological phenomena where the artist notices so many more intricacies than the average outside viewer. Your mom isn't hanging up your art out of pity, GET THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD! People love your art so much more than you do.

That's it for the first post. Don't worry, there'll still be more helpful tips coming! I just won't be able to fit everything in here with Tumblr's picture limit and all. Happy drawing!

[akehoshimystar]

Urara SSR

#DE7DF3

Part 1

Ito: Well then, let's get going.

Kamiya: Yeah, thanks. I’ll leave it to you. 

Urara: ………

It’s mid-January, and the New Year atmosphere has started to fade. In place of Onda-san and Nina-san, who were dealing with a different matter, I acted as a driver to support the ST Dept. I slowly started the car.

Kamiya: Right, that reminds me. Thanks for the other day, Deputy

Ito: The other day... Ah, about Manami-san?

Urara: Ah?

Kamiya: I asked her if I could use Aporia's kitchen for your birthday.

Since you’re on cleaning duty anyway, I thought preparing the food and having the birthday party there would be more convenient.

Urara: Huh? ……What's with that?

Kamiya: In the end, the bar was booked on the day, so it wasn't possible. Sorry.

Urara: You know damn well that’s not what I mean. Why’d you go and make an arrangement assuming there’d be a birthday party?

Kamiya: Because I wanted to.  I’ve already decided on it! 

Urara: Don't just decide things on your own when it’s none of your business.

Kamiya: Anyway. Thanks for checking, Deputy.

Ito: Don’t mention it. But then, what about the birthday party?

Urara: Tch.

Hearing him clicking his tongue made me wonder if I had said something unnecessary. As I swallowed what I was going to say next, Kamiya-kun laughed and spoke instead.

Kamiya: Pardon my intrusion… Oh, am I the last one to arrive? Sorry for the wait.

Yu: It’s not time for the meeting yet, so don't worry about it.

Tomose: Urara came in early today. Though he’s normally punctual anyway.

Urara: That last part was unnecessary.

Kamiya: I see. Then, I’ll say it again.

Happy New Year, Tomose-san, Yu-san, Urara.

Tomose: Right, this is the first time we’re all gathered here this year.

After Tomose-san said, “Happy New Year," Yu-san followed suit. And as expected, Urara clicked his tongue and said, "What's so great about that?"

Kamiya: Ahaha. The year may have changed, but Urara is still Urara.

Urara: Your head is just filled with nothing but celebration bullshit, blockhead.

Kamiya: Yeah, but you deserve a celebration too, Urara.

Urara: Ah? You’ve already drilled that into my ears. Are you seriously living in La-la land?

Kamiya: For your birthday, I mean.

Urara: !

Tomose: Today’s your birthday, isn’t it? Happy birthday.

Yu: Happy birthday.

Urara: …………Stop wasting my time and start the meeting already.

Part 2

Tomose: That's all. Is there anything else?

Kamiya: Nope.

Urara: No.

Yu: Tomose, are we done with the meeting now?

Tomose: Yeah.

Urara, do you have any plans after this?

Urara: Ah? …………Me? Not really.

Tomose: I see, then we can start without any problems.

Urara: Start what? What kind of work are you…..

Tomose: Your birthday party.

Urara: ……...Excuse me?

Kamiya: I wanted to celebrate your birthday, so I decided to get these two involved. From there, we discussed and decided what to do.

Urara: Don't mess with me. Besides, the birthday bullshit was over a long time ago.

You're just running your mouth and labeling it a happy occasion or whatsoever...

Tomose: No, I don’t think it has started yet.

Kamiya: That's right, the real thing has just begun.

Yu: Then I will start preparing the meal now.

Kamiya: Oh, Yu-san. I'll help!

Urara: Oi.

Kamiya: It's fine, the star of the party just needs to sit back and wait.

Urara: Tch... What the hell is fine about that?

Even though it almost sounded like a murmur, Urara was still sitting up straight. He’s just so honest. I didn't say anything though.

Yu: I appreciate the offer, but most of the preparations are already done. 

Kamiya: Eh, really?

Urara: ……

Yu: There’re a few grilled and fried dishes that need to be done. I didn’t make them before because the flavor would be lost if I cooked them in advance.

It’s more efficient that way, was it too much?

Kamiya: No way, not at all! I’m actually grateful.

Tomose: Yu chose the menu himself, so it should be to Urara’s liking.

Urara: ….Hahh?

Tomose: Is there something bothering you, Urara?

Urara: That’s an understatement. I mean, what would you have done if I'd said I had something to do?.

Tomose: ? I don't understand what you mean by that.

Urara: I’m just saying…. Don’t get ahead of yourself and prepare a party without telling me. 

Kamiya: So... “If the birthday party couldn't be held, what would you have done with the food you prepared?”….. Is that what you want to ask?

Yu: In that case, it would have ended up being dinner for me and Tomose. I was planning to treat Kamiya to some too if he wanted.

Either way, it definitely wouldn’t have gone to waste.

Urara: ...What are you, dumbasses? You guys don't have the same taste buds as me, do you?

Kamiya: ……..

His words sounded a bit barbaric, but I somehow felt a little warmth behind them and I thought, "Ah, I see what he means." Yes, the food wouldn’t go to waste, but in the end, the selection was made based on Urara’s taste. 

Kamiya: Yeah. I'm glad we had a birthday party.

Urara: Huh? A fraud like you doesn’t deserve toany laugh.

Kamiya: Ahaha, I can't deny that.

Urara: What a whole bunch of con artists. 

Part 3

Yu: Tomose, take the finished dishes over there.

Tomose: Got it.

Kamiya: Ah, I'll help with plating. Yu-san, you’re doing the fried food now, right?

Urara: ……

Yu: Yeah, I'll leave it to you. Just arrange what's here on this large plate.

Kamiya: Okay, copy that.

Tomose: Is this portion dish okay?

Yu: Yeah.

Urara: …..Tch. Oi, give me a plate too.

Kamiya: Eh?

Urara: Hurry up.

Tomose: Here. Thanks for the help.

Urara: ...Cut that out, I’m lining up the plates, not saving the world.

With everyone's help, the birthday party was ready in no time.

Kamiya: Let's have a toast!

Tomose: Sure.

Urara: …….

Yu: Urara, it's hard to toast in that position.

Although he had a glass in his hand, it wasn’t even a millimeter off the table. No wonder Yu-san had pointed it out.

Urara: Then let’s just not do it.

In contrast to his words, he lifted his glass ever so slightly. It really was just barely, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Tomose-san, Yu-san, and I all clinked our glasses together with his. 

Kamiya: Happy birthday, Urara.

Yu & Tomose: Happy birthday.

Urara: Piss off already.

Urara: Shut your damn trap already.

Kamiya: Sorry, I just thought I should tell the Deputy what happened.

Urara: It’s 100% useless info.

Kamiya: Isn’t that all of it?

Urara: That's what I'm saying.

Ito: Anyway, I'm glad it was a good birthday party for you... Happy birthday.

Urara: …….

Ito: (...I just thought I hadn't told him yet, but maybe I did say too much...)

Urara: Tch…..

That really was a shitty meeting.

With that, Manami-san turned his face toward the window, as if to avoid Kamiya-kun. But from the glimpse of his face that I spotted through the rearview mirror, it didn't seem like he thought it was as "shitty" as his words suggested. Touched by the feelings behind that expression, I didn't say anything else and gripped the wheel again to concentrate on driving.

[alpineglow]

could you write about Natasha struggling with flash-backs from Dreykov.

And Yelena who's [I love her] like woe me etc. Doesn't notice until one day, they're having a sleepover and Natasha wakes up screaming at Dreykov to stop.

Angst, hurt and comfort 😌

oh I absolutely adore this idea, thank you so so much for submitting it!! Sorry it took so long too! <3 I drew on some of my experiences with anxiety to add a touch of realism. Side note: trying to figure out how to tag this for Tumblr kills me because I'm used to 'x' meaning a romantic pairing ;-;

It Comes Back in Whispers

Ship (Kind of?): Natasha Romanoff & Yelena Belova Word Count: 1,225 words Description: Even the strongest of soldiers have their pasts come back to haunt them when they're down. Warnings: Depictions of PTSD, anxiety, nightmares. Mentions of torture, and other adult themes.

Natasha was many things. Strong, intelligent with a good heart. Sometimes that good heart got in the way of what was good for her, though. Yelena had been in the back of her mind for a little over a decade - before she had been recruited by SHIELD, even. So, obviously, when she had the chance to have her sister back, the chance to return the family she had missed so sorely, she jumped on it. Although, however smart Natasha may be, she couldn't have predicted how incorporating Yelena so wholly would affect her.

"Natasha, do we have any more of those macaroni and cheeses? Those ones I actually like from the good supermarket?" Yelena asked from the kitchen, rifling through one of the pantry cabinets.

Natasha was sat at the dining table, hunched over her laptop to sort through whatever bullshit emails had been sent to her. She made no move to acknowledge Yelena.

"Hey! 'Tasha!" Yelena said, turning on her heel to wave at her sister, who in turn jolted slightly and looked up at her sister.

"I'm listening!" she said, pulling the lid of her laptop to half shut, resting her chin on the base of her palm. Though Natasha tried to listen, straining herself to focus on Yelena's movements, and whatever the hell she had been saying about macaroni and cheese, her mind was wandering. Rather obviously, at that.

Yelena groaned suddenly, slamming the pantry shut and pulling open a different cabinet.

"What?" Natasha asked incredulously, blinking.

"Whatever! I'll make popcorn instead. Go pick out a movie, would you? And please, don't make me sit through one of those shitty-"

Natasha perked up, smiling at her sister's comments, though the end of the sentence had faded away by the time Yelena left for the living room. She remembered fondly how excited Yelena had been in the morning, when Natasha texted her for a sleepover. Obviously, her sister had played it down at first, but conceded as she always did. Truth be told, Yelena spent most of her time at her sister's apartment. When she wasn't gallivanting through the world, that is.

With a heavy sigh, Natasha reached a hand out to pull the lid of her laptop shut. Politics and Avengers could wait, certainly when the living room beckoned her.

Yelena had already gathered what was damn near every blanket and pillow in the house, arranging them gracefully across the couch to be snatched up by either sister. The girl had shocking efficiency, considering she was still in the kitchen popping the popcorn. Natasha knelt by the console the TV was perched on, pulling out one of her drawers to her vast movie collection. DVD after DVD, most she'd thrifted for a dollar over the years. Her index finger ran across the spines. Disney movies, action, adventure, thriller, you name it. It was there. Though this time around, her gaze strayed dutifully from the small smattering of horror titles she owned.

"What are you feeling tonight," Natasha called over her shoulder to the kitchen. Yelena popped her head in the doorway, squinting at her sister.

"Something fun- oh! What about that one with the Amanda girl? What was it called?"

"She's the Man?"

"Yes! Let's watch She is the Man," Yelena replied excitedly, slinking away just as quickly as the microwave timer beeped. Natasha huffed a laugh, shaking her head as she withdrew the DVD from her collection, bumping the drawer shut with her foot once she stood.

The player whirred to life as she turned it on, emitting that dull electric hum that most older electronics did. It was nostalgic, and tended to remind her of Ohio. The good parts, that was. Natasha pulled the sleeves of her sweater over her hands, rubbing them together. A chill had passed over her, despite the warmth of the apartment.

"Are you ready?" Yelena half-sung excitedly, striding over to her side of the couch to pull some of the blanket pile over her, only after setting the popcorn on the coffee table.

Natasha didn't think to dignify her sister with a response, other than a playful roll of her eyes as she placed the DVD into the player. It was a real find at the thrift - one of the fancier models that had an autoplay that skipped the slew of out of date movie trailers and theme park advertisements at the beginning of every DVD.

She walked back to settle on the opposite side of the couch to her sister, pressing play on the remote before setting it down on the coffee table, pulling her own blanket over her lap. Absentmindedly, her hands fidgeted with the edge of the blanket.

"This is going to be great," Yelena chuckled, taking a fistful of popcorn from the bowl.

---

When Yelena came to, the room was dark, save for the DVD menu screen playing on repeat. Blearily, she reached for her phone.

4:31AM

Shit. Yelena groaned softly, running a hand over her face. There was a quiet ache in her middle back forming, one she knew would only worsen with time. Punishment, for falling asleep during movie night.

She was distracted from her internal lament as the figure laying on the couch half a metre away from her thrashed. Adrenaline flushed through her on instinct as Yelena pulled herself upright. Her eyes adjusted to the dark, catching the profile of her sister in the TV glow. How her eyes were screwed shut, her arms taught to her body. A nightmare.

"Natasha," Yelena whispered, leaning forward to gingerly avoid her sister's still moving limbs. The rhythm of it stuttered for a moment though.

"Natasha," Yelena said again, a little louder this time. Her hand reached out to rest on Natasha's shoulder. The woman's eyes flew open, Yelena knowing well enough to withdraw her hand quick enough to avoid an arm bar.

"Sister, it's just me. It's just me, relax," she cooed, sitting down on the couch beside Natasha as the other woman pushed her face into her hands, shoulders shuddering but no sound coming out.

"It's ok," Yelena murmured. She remembered the first time it had happened, about a month after she had returned. She hadn't been so well practiced then. But still, six months after the last, it was hard to fall back into the fluid motions of comfort.

Natasha took a stuttering breath in, forcing herself to roll her shoulders back. Forcing the confidence to ward off the anxiety that gripped at her throat and clawed at her lungs. There was a pain in her expression, physically and emotionally. Yelena sat quietly, giving her the time to gather herself.

A few minutes passed. Natasha's breathing had returned to some semblance of normal, but was still heaving in its tone. Greedy intakes of breath to fight an invisible enemy.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Yelena asked quietly, stealing glances at Natasha's side profile.

"No," Natasha said resolutely after a few moments. Then she exhaled. "The usual."

Yelena nodded with a dark hum. Dreykov, then. Her hand came up to rest between Natasha's shoulder blades, gently at first before becoming a more grounding touch. Without a word, Natasha shifted over, wrapping her arms around Yelena and squeezing.

"He's gone. He isn't hurting me. He isn't hurting you."

Natasha simply nodded, and squeezed a little tighter.

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Requests are open!

Cross posted to my AO3

[mrfandomgage]

Lynn folds papers as neatly as he can as FemGoat watches, sipping a smoothie. Catharine and Goat idle as the clock ticks to the end of their shift. Rags, strolls in the store. Goat takes his order. The two talk in excitement for their evening plans.

"I'll take a number six. Just the burger", Rags orders, "so what are we watching tonight?"

"Gage said 'The Mario Movie'", Goat explains, "seems to be ancient history, but I couldn't really find any archival material, but a lot of things he gets are fun, albeit out of date".

"What's with that guy and stuff from a thousand years ago?"

Catharine chimes in, "he's an ancient god that was born a thousand years ago".

Rags giggles as he inserts his card to the reader to pay for food, "Good one Cat, I'll go over to my usual space and wait".

As Rags trots away, Catharine punches Goat in the arm, shout whispering at him, "You didn't tell him?"

Goat whispers back, "Gage doesn't hide his powers, regularly, I'm rather impressed Rags didn't notice how bright the stars in his cloak are or that he just occasionally floats through the air, or that he moves inhumanely fast, like teleportation".

"Is that really your excuse for not telling your friend?"

"I mean, I don't find it a problem!"

"Hey Catharine!" Rags calls out as he walks over again, "is Sharla coming to watch the movie with us?"

Catharine sighs at Goat, before turning to Rags saying, "Yeah, my car's out of commission today, you wanna hitch a ride with us or something?"

"I wanted to ask her if she uses a hair dye or if her hair is naturally like that".

"I get with the pigments and what else that it might not look it, but like my hair, it's also natural".

"Damn, it's a really nice shade of dark blue too".

"I can ask my sibling about hair dye brands", Goat says, "they're really into coloring their hair, they may even know some good overall fur dying products. Most are shit from what I hear".

"God, yeah, they are", Rags complains, "They're either really impotent and get washed out after a day or two, or the at home product you bought is actually made for you to go to a specialist to do it, who most likely already has what you want, so you're paying more and god is that frustrating".

Catharine hands Rags his burger and she says, "we can make laser guns, and bio efficient cybernetics, but if you want pink fur, it's only gonna last you a day".

"I mean, it's more just a nitpick honestly", Rags sighs, "oh, can I get a knife?" After obtaining his plastic cutlery, Rags walks out of sight.

Catherine goes back to whispering, "So you don't tell your friend you live with an ancient God?"

"Technically we were born at the same time, our universes just had different states of-", Goat tries explaining.

Catharine cuts him off, "I don't care of multiverse mumbo jumbo! You told me!"

"You've been my friend since middle school, he's been my bully in that time".

"Does that make you any less of friends now?"

"No, but it doesn't mean I want to go to him for these things".

Catharine sighs and gives up. The duo return to working. There are three minutes left to go in their clocks. Lynn gives FemGoat a paper flower, to her delight. Goat doodles by the register as Sharla walks in and waves to Catharine. The two chatter amongst themselves as Goat draws an OC of his. More coworkers come in and the current person in charge gives them the go ahead to leave. As the party start heading out, Rags calls out to Goat.

"HEY! Can you come with me in my car Goat? I wanna show you something", Rags explains.

Goat shrugs, "sure, why not. Catch ya guys later!" Goat walks over to Rags.

Rags hands him half the burger he bought, "I thought you might be hungry as well".

"There's no cheese on this".

Rags scratches the back of his head, "well, yeah, couldn't give you the best part!"

Goat shrugs as he eats and follows Rags to his car, "something important you wanna show me?"

Rags gets in his car to the driver seat, "not really, just..."

Goat sits in passenger, "ah, I get it, ya just wanted to hang out more, that's alright".

Rags shouts, flustered, "no you idiot! I mean. Well, I do like the company... ... ... I've never been to your house before and need help getting there".

"Ah, alright weirdo, I'll tell ya how to drive a straight line".

"You walk to work in just a straight line?"

"Yeah, basically".

"Can we take a detour then?"

"Knock yourself out".

Rags pulls out of his space, and drives. The two talk about work, and a few events that happened. Rags mocks crushes Goat had, and Goat jokes about Rags' last boyfriend. After a few minutes Goat falls asleep in the warmth of the car and his clothes. The drive becomes quiet. Rags puts on classical music on low volume settings. Rags stops by a rather large and nice looking house. He opens the door and tries closing it as quietly as possible, and he runs into the house as quickly as he can. He soon returns seeing Goat still sleeping. He quietly opens the door and enters.

"I've never seen ya outside of work in anything other than a crop top T, and those short shorts", Goat remarks.

"JESUS CHRIST!" Rags screams, "You could've been sitting up before this!"

Goat stretches, "thought it'd be funny. This your parents house or something?"

Rags sighs and puts his head down on the wheel, "no. It's mine, they bought it for me, and pay my bills, and the gardener. Perks of being an only child I guess..."

Goat pops his neck, "well it looks nice, got anything fancy?"

Rags speaks, increasingly getting quieter, "there's an indoor theater, a pool, a bedroom..."

Concerned, Goat asks, "what's wrong?"

Rags sighs sitting back in the seat, he replies, "I'm lonely, I get out sometimes and have an occasional hookup, maybe even someone to be with for a few weeks, but really, most of the time I'm just... there. By myself. In my room. Maybe reading, maybe playing one of those old games you and Fandom like. Maybe I go and cook myself something or just order takeout because I have the money for it anyway. I'm kinda excited to meet your family".

"I don't really live with my family, they're more like roommates".

"Oh. I guess I didn't need to go and change then".

"The sweater looks nice, and you look good in jeans".

"Thanks Gage".

"Anytime Richard. Besides, when will I meet your family?"

Rags laughs, for a moment before going quiet. With a sigh he asks, "how do I get to your house?"

"Just drive to the mall, and I'll guide you from there".

Rags pulls out from the house. He drives down the road. Goat tries to make small talk but Rags turns up the volume of the classical music. He turns it up too high to where Goat holds his head and ears, Rags immediately turning it down. Goat gets the message and watches outside the window, without a word. Rags pulls into the mall's parking lot and parks, turns off the gas and rests his head on the wheel.

"I don't know where my parents are", Rags explains.

"Huh?" Goat hums.

"I only remember them being in my life up until I was ten. On my tenth birthday I was given two gifts, that house, and a caretaker... who later became my gardener. She's really nice".

"How do you know they're still paying for-"

"My gardener still gets paid every month, and the electricity is still on, I don't even receive the mail for these bills".

"Oh".

"I wish you could meet my parents, I want to see them too, maybe at least you can see your own parents".

"I could, the same way I could stab myself, but I don't really want to hurt myself".

"... I didn't..."

"You're good. Want me to come over some time?"

"... ... ... it's over an hour walk".

"When has that stopped me?"

"I'll just pick you up, don't worry about it. Now, where do we go?"

"Thanks man. Ok so you're gonna need to go east from here".

[letsbenditlikebennett]

[pm] Well, if you want to, how could I possibly deny you that? I'll like the parts about you that you don't like, too. I think [...] whatever those parts may be also contribute to the parts of you that I really like. I think you're right there, about it being a little easier to like yourself when others like you. Maybe it shouldn't be, but maybe it's a step on the way to getting to liking ourselves? Just when I think you can't get any cooler. I'm doing research on ladybugs this year with my favorite professor. Not sure the details, but I know I'll likely be observing them, which is fun because they're my favorite bugs. Might be the name, but they are damn cute.

Guess I'll just have to remind you more often then. Exactly! And what's wrong with cold food? Why should I have to always heat my chef boyardee or dirty up dishes by taking it out of the can? It's called efficiency. Snacks also just hit different. There's a reason you say someone is a snacc when they're looking good and not a dinner. [...] Yeah, I guess it was. I'm glad you get to enjoy them now though. You deserve to get to do things that make you happy. I'll definitely play for you soon. It is someone's birthday today, so I think a song would be in order. Really? That's so cool. I'd love to see you play once you get a few lessons in.

Same! Stripes are so not my look.

Good. I hope that luck continues for you always. <3

It's your birthday and my big sister works at a bakery. I'll let you do the math.

[pm] I know I don't have to. I want to. You deserve to hear nice things because you're a nice person. There are parts of myself that I don't like, either. But I can like the parts of you that you don't like, and that way someone does. I think it's good that way. It's easier to like yourself when other people like you. It shouldn't be, but it is. Alex, I love bugs and plants. Seriously!

You're not making an ass of yourself. That's really nice of you to say. Not a lot of people say that. [...] Cooking is kind of overrated, anyway. Why would I want to waste time cooking when you can open a snack and it's ready right then and there? [...] Oh. I'm sorry, that sounds rough. The people who raised me didn't like movies, either. I didn't really get into them until I left them. But I'd really love to hear you play guitar! I'm actually trying to start learning how to play myself. A lady who owns a music shop is teaching me.

I try :)

Ew, I hope I never catch mimery. I would hate to be in black and white.

I appreciate that. I'm really, really happy you're my friend too! Nora is cool. It was definitely lucky to find her again. And to find you, and Van, and Ariadne. I feel really lucky lately.

Ooh, double chocolate. Why?

[illyaana]

4 to 10 - Sugawara Koushi

credits to @kvsagi for the Suga art!

Tags: Timeskip! Sick Suga x Doctor! Reader, No Specific Gender for Reader, Angst

Synopsis: Suga has been diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis ever since he was 18, a few days after he graduated from high school. He works as an author in the hospital room he currently lives in. When he was 26, you entered the hospital as an official resident doctor and you were assigned to him.

In the beginning, it was just wheezing. After serving a ball to the ace, Suga just needed a few minutes to breathe air back into his system - nothing else.

It slowly became long nights of consistent coughing. It was just a dust allergy - nothing more. Almost all his family members had it - his allergic reactions were just stronger.

It became shorter hours of practice and any forms of exercise. His lungs were just weaker than the rest of the team's. It didn't mean that he was not as skilled as them - he just had to work more efficiently - more success, less time.

Then came the first lung infection.

Then the next.

Then the next.

Then the next.

It was no longer something he could just write off anymore.

Then came the tests; one sweat test and one genetic test.

The next time people saw him, he carried a bag connected to a tube that was in his nose.

He could still live his life normally - he just needed regular checkups. The only thing he needed to do was keep his distance, keep clean and not mess up.

That's all he needed to do, right?

The attacks got worse and worse.

His lungs became so fragile the slightest amount of dust or germ could kill him.

If he wanted to live, he needed to live in the hospital.

Until his clock stopped working, he needed to stay in the white walls of the Hospital of Tokyo forever - and that is what he did.

For the next 8 years of his life, he stayed in the hospital as a 'permanent resident' and lived peacefully.

His life consisted of college online, eating, studying, cleaning his lungs, talking with the other 'permanent residents' or just 'guests', playing with kids in the pediatric ward and sleep.

That was his life - and he didn't hate it.

He soon graduated from college and university and became an author - a well-known one, may I add.

He still talked to his friends from high school - Daichi and Asahi being common visitors with the occasional visit from Kageyama and Hinata.

This was his life until his life ended.

But all that changed when you came into the hospital for the first time.

Sugawara was never one to eye at the doctors or the nurses in the hospital - he believed that it was irrational and very wrong. Yet, you somehow changed his mind almost instantly.

He couldn't muster the bravery to even welcome you on your first day by himself, despite everyone who knew him literally pushing him to do so.

He begged all of the nurses to introduce him to you, but they all wanted him to do it by himself.

"Staring at our newest doctor, huh?" said Sugawara's doctor, Hizashi Yamada from behind him.

"You want me to introduce you to them?" He asked, smiling deviously.

Soon, Suga's doctor brought him to meet you, despite all of Suga's resistance to it.

"Hello, Y/N-sensei. Welcome to the Hospital of Tokyo. It is a pleasure to have someone so well-versed in our hospital as a permanent doctor," said Hizashi-sensei.

He placed his hand out, only for you to shake it. "No need for the praises, Yamada-sensei. The fact you recognized me is a privilege itself."

"This," Yamada-sensei pulled Suga forward, "Is Sugawara Koushi. He has been admitted to our hospital ever since he was eighteen."

Suga blushed furiously.

He wasn't ready to meet you up close so quickly. He wanted to admire you from afar for at least another two more days so that he could learn about your interests, but fate wasn't on his side this time.

Not to mention, you were a doctor, too! One of the younger ones, too... and hotter...

Suga awoke from his daze when he saw your gloved hand reach out to his to give him a handshake. "Pleasure to meet you, Sugawara-san. I believe you are an author? My sister loves your books!"

Suga was internally thanking Daichi for telling him to become an author.

Suga raised his hand to meet yours in a handshake. "The pleasure is all mine."

"As you both know, I am retiring this year," Yamada-sensei said, making both you and Suga face him.

"I've discussed with the board. Y/N-sensei, you'll be in charge of Suga starting tomorrow. I will send all the information about his condition soon," He ended off with a smile.

Wait - you were in charge of him?

Suga was shaking even more now.

It would no longer be Yamada-sensei seeing the uglier side of him but the very person he was developing a crush on.

"Fate works in mysterious ways, huh?" you said, breaking Suga's train of thought.

"I guess it was good I met you today then, Sugawara-san," you ended with a cheerful smile.

"I leave myself in your care then, Y/N-sensei," Suga said while bowing to you.

"Just call me Y/N. I think you're older than me, anyway," you said, laughing a bit. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

You walked towards the nurses that were calling you, leaving an extremely red Sugawara in the middle of the foyer.

The next day stood as a challenge for the silver-haired male.

He was going to act as good as he can so that your job could be as simple as it can be - no cheeky comments, no playful jokes.

Just being a boring, normal patient for the few hours you'd be in his room.

Well, that resolve almost failed immediately when you came in and begged for a conversation with him.

"It's too quiet for me to work properly, Sugawara-san. I know you think that keeping the room quiet helps, but the tension in the room is a bit too strong for me to work normally," you said, aching for some noise to come out of him.

But he didn't say anything - not even a noise.

"If you don't say anything in the next few minutes, I am going to begin talking a bit too much and trust me, you don't want that."

You turned to prepare the machine to remove the excess mucus in his lungs.

"You can call me Suga-san if you want," Suga whispered, scared to speak as loud as he usually does.

You chuckled and turned to face him. "I was going to call you Koushi-kun, whether you liked it or not."

"So, Koushi-kun," you started, "where and when does this author's life begin?"

He chuckled softly. "I was actually born in Miyagi. I was a replacement setter for the volleyball team in my school. Then again, I played a few times even when our main setter was there."

"What school?"

"Karasuno."

You opened your eyes in shock. "Wait - you were part of the Karasuno's volleyball team that went to nationals back then!"

He stared at your wonder-filled eyes and smiled. "Yeah, I was."

"So you know Hinata Shoyo and Kageyama Tobio? The Japan players?"

Pride swelled in him when he heard those two names. "Yeah, I do. I actually taught Hinata the basics."

"You've done well, my friend," you said, earning a laugh from the 26-year old.

And that small conversation began the long conversations you both had when you were doing long hours in the hospital.

After handling other patients, you'd often spend time with Koushi in his room with the pretence of 'I'm his doctor - it's my duty to be with him most of the time.'

But that was far from the truth, wasn't it?

You were developing feelings for your own patient.

How could you not fall for him?

Behind the beautiful exterior of his was a man of true beauty itself.

He was a hard worker - spent most of his time working on his new project.

He was kind - helped the nurses with managing the kids in the pediatric ward when they went for their lunch break.

He was the ideal man for anyone.

Time passed and you had been taking care of the former setter for the past two years.

He introduced you to his friends - Asahi, Daichi, Kageyama and Hinata, if you remember correctly - when they came over.

They soon became close friends of yours too - despite your fangirling over the Japan volleyball players. They often spent hours on end with Suga in his room.

All of you enjoyed the small talks you all had together and talked about the things happening in the outside world - be it a small injury or someone's wedding.

"Y/N-san, what about you? Are you in a relationship?" the orange-haired man asked, a small yet beaming smile on his lips.

You instantly blushed and looked at Sugawara. His eyes focused solely on you, taking you in.

"I've been single my whole life. I don't think I'd be getting into a relationship soon, too. The doctor's life doesn't really revolve around romance, despite all the TV shows and movies," you ended, earning snickers from almost everyone in the room.

"How about the rest of you? Is there a conquest of love happening in your lives?" you asked. Now my turn to grin.

Both Kageyama and Hinata stared at one another, faces beet red.

Koushi sighed. "Why can't you both just tell that you're a couple? We all knew ever since high school."

"How did you all know?" Kageyama shouted. You immediately shushed him, earning a small 'sorry' from him.

"You both aren't quiet in the storage room, you know?" Daichi said. Everyone except the couple began laughing hysterically.

"Damn, the money I'd get if I leaked this to the news," you jokingly said, teasing the two players.

When the clock showed 8pm, you pushed the four of the visitors out of Suga's room.

Their time had ended and they needed to head home.

Once they left, you felt a tug on your doctor's coat. You saw Koushi asking you back into the room, not ready for you to leave yet.

"Is everything okay?" You asked him, worried about his health.

"Do you feel like there isn't enough oxygen in your tank? I can always get you a replacement right now-" Koushi placed his finger on your lips.

"Please, just listen to what I have to say," he asked, his eyes begging you to listen to him.

You closed the door behind the two of you. He pulled you to sit beside him on his bed.

"I know I don't have much time left. I already had 10 years after diagnosis when the norm is 4," he said, chuckling.

You wanted to intervene - hell, the sentence was already prepared in your head - but you didn't. From what it looked like, he wanted you to just accept whatever he had to say.

"My drive to write is long gone - I can barely write a sentence I like anymore. I love playing with the kids, but I feel like I would just disturb them rather than entertaining them. I - I feel my life slipping away from my fingers, Y/N..." he said, tears forming around his eyes.

"Yet, when I see you walk along the halls of the hospital, I feel re-energized. I only met you two years ago, but I already am so dependant on you - and not just as a doctor. You are the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning. You are the only thing I think of when I fall asleep. You are..." he gripped on your wrist, "the only thing I want right now."

"Koushi-kun..."

"I love you, Y/N. I didn't want you to leave today without knowing this. I love you so much - as a doctor and as a person."

You hugged the male in front of you, letting his tears fall on your jacket.

"I know you can't reciprocate my feelings, but I just needed you to know."

You gripped on his shirt.

This was the only man you've ever wanted, but you could never have him.

You held your tears back as you walked out of his room.

The next day was just a blur.

The mucus in his lungs built up at an extremely fast pace.

A severe infection formed in his lungs.

You rushed from your apartment to the hospital to conduct surgery as fast as you could.

Luck, however, wasn't on your side.

In the midst of the surgery, the electrocardiogram flatlined.

Sugawara Koushi was pronounced dead at 3:45 am at the Hospital of Tokyo on the 19th of December in the year 2022.

I hope you enjoyed the fanfic! As always, if you have ideas or tropes you'd like me to try, don't hesitate to leave a suggestion here! Thanks for all the reblogs and the likes too! <3 If you want to learn about Cystic Fibrosis, I watched this video and it helped me in understanding the science part of it~

[halloweenismyfav]

I've been wanting to do this for a while now, and I've gotten the almighty approval from @idia-and-ortho-shroud, so here we are. The first year squad (aka the one braincell squad) texting in a group chat. Starring the ADeuce combo, Yuu/Grim, Jack, Epel, and Sebek. Some guest stars may join in along the way. Some of these chats are based around ones I've had with my friends, like this one.

This first one is mainly to get my feet wet, so they should get better the more there is. Enjoy some crack-fics!

Who Brushes Their Teeth In The Shower? - First Year GC Part 1

One Braincell Squad

Ace is online

Deuce is online

Jack is online

Epel is online

Yuu is online

Yuu: Why was this group chat necessary again???

Ace: cause then we can all chat together

isn't that obvious?

Epel: Along with the fact that we can talk about the dorm heads and they won't know

Ace: 👀

Yuu: What's with the emoji

Ace: You know what's up with the emoji!!!

Epel has changed 'Epel' to Appel

Ace has changed 'Ace' to Stealurgrl

Yuu: Ace, you know damn well that username isnt right. Change it now!

Appel: yeaah, sorry, but they're right...😒

Yuu: Again with the emojis!!

Stealurgrl: I'm not changing it

Yuu changed 'Yuu' to IsekaiProtag

Jack: What's an "iseki protag"?

Appel: Youre here! Took ya long enough

Jack: :)

IsekaiProtag: An isekai is a genre in my world where the main character gets teleported to a world that isn't their's. The world is typically magical

Stealurgrl: Fitting

Deuce: Seriously Ace, change the username...

IsekaiProtag changed 'Stealurgrl' to Dumbo#1

Dumbo#1: How did you do that?!

IsekaiProtag: Magic my friend

Appel: Are you gonna do what i think youre gonna do??

IsekaiProtag changed 'Deuce' to Dumbo#2

Dumbo#2: Hey! 😵

Appel: I was right

IsekaiProtag: Sorry, I don't make the rules. You an' Ace are a packaged duo

Jack: Off topic, but where's Sebek?

IsekaiProtag: I'll text Lilia and see if he knows

IsekaiProtag is offline

Lilia

Yuu: Hey, do you know what Sebek is doing?

Lilia: He seems to be taking a shower from the sound of it

Yuu: Ok, thanks!

Lilia: Of course

One Braincell Squad

IsekaiProtag is online

Appel: I'm telling you, apple carving is a great way to spend your time

You can be good at art and be able to stab someone if you need to all at once

IsekaiProtag: I'm gone for a minute and this is what you guys talk about?

Jack: I've learned to just listen

Dumbo#1: I don't know how😓

Sebek is online

Sebek: Upperclassman Lilia said you wanted to talk to me?

Dumbo#1: You seriously spelt that out???

Dumbo#2: Speech to text is a thing y'know...

IsekaiProtag: We just wanted to chat and see what you were doing

Sebek: Well, I was brushing my teeth and taking a shower since it's late

Appel: Wait...Brushing your teeth and showering? You mean you were brushing your teeth in the shower?

Sebek: Yes! It's quite simple and efficient

IsekaiProtag: That's for goobers...

Jack: Who brushes their teeth in the shower?

Dumbo#1: Do you like, get the brush wet with the shower water??

Dumbo#2: Why would you ask that?!

Appel: I'm feeling u n c o m f y

IsekaiProtag: You said it

Jack: Epel, do you want to study tomorrow? We have a test coming up with Professor Trein

Appel: Sure! Yuu, you can join us if you want

Isekai: I'd take u up on the offer, buuuuut, i have two himbos to take care of

Sebek: May I join you, Yuu?

IsekaiProtag: Sure. How does Thursday sound?

Sebek: 👌

IsekaiProtag: Welp, Grim's asking for a can of tuna. Ttyl

Jack: What does 'ttyl' mean?

Dumbo#1: It means talk to you later

Jack: Oh, ok

Appel: See ya tomorrow!

IsekaiProtag is offline

Appel is offline

Jack is offline

Dumbo#1 is offline

Dumbo#2 is offline

Sebek is offline

[the-firebird69]

15°45'58.7"N 121°34'20.0"E

15°45'58.7"N 121°34'20.0"E

And we missed a few things but most of it's in. Some reason he fell asleep trying to put his phone in there not sure why she says he was sleeping moved his phone he was amazed. And this looks like some sort of chipper and here too I don't want to put a chipper on there sometimes it sticks we do that still sticks so Chip it

Thor Freya

That's why they're there they've got a notice of similar behavior the island was shaking people are moving around businesses were disappearing on to the island but off. On things people taking pictures all over the place of stuff strange strange things strange people taking tons of pictures why we don't know he does and huge imports of buildings so they had all that in the Philippines in the early stages they call it so they went out there armed since he's really and the Philippines called and said we need you to get out of here thinking it may have been China on look Chinese nope they can't tell half of Manila is gone and the other half is just about to go up we just about have it and we get a phone call from someone we have to put it on hold it was just so and so is coming that was commander Colonel Kurtz was coming in upper River with a good size horse several Mount alien troops and that's away from Manila to see what's out there they have recon photos that they can't leave it looks like there's a whole bunch of buildings all of them manufacturing all of them from the mainland of China so hard to get anything done here Uriel and Goddess Wife say, they're damn trees everywhere and these people stick to trees like nothing they wear stuff that is the same color and sit there all night long go from tree to tree they did tunnels everywhere if you would want to tunnel somewhere you can hire them they'll have it in in minutes 100 ft long second tunneling machine so efficient and a lot of trouble with them very pervasive invasive is Chinese they are cookie compared to even Jason not cases lots of cannibalism had to put down a lot of them. They look at him with on his eyes in their eyes because he's swearing it all these people they've always looked up to let's see how he does it though what the heck are you doing pal like your garth does a little. Today they burst out laughing I saw him sitting there with a knife saying stuff and two completely ignoring him and him saying Jesus Christ she gets a f*** out of the way stuff like that then one of their mouths comes this later on today out of one of the two who the hell does he think he is holding a knife at her back you start talking all sudden kurtz said no, you won't let me see this what is it to you and why would it be any of my fault it's an answer since hypothetically said you were there encouraging him and stuff and then all of a sudden you start laughing this is the s*** we've been listening to you these idiots falling around they can all these dumb noises doesn't sound like he usually sound it says laughing and saying okay so I can get rid of you if you can bja or just another one. Who says about the off he's real vehement ww said you're done bja lol vkerhim out if the vehicle at speed Tommy f left him.

He got up and he was kneeling on the highway in a semi ran right over him and he's deader than hell deserve it he said right before you got smacked and he's saying no I didn't oh after I said it and pow right into him and his road Pizza flying out in a couple seconds people drive real fast but 90-100 minimum. I guess the barrio and the Bronx and the many other vehicles like that can keep up and he says only one per country so China has one and it's one of their areas and districts it's really poor oh my God really he wasn't in the middle. So the edge of the country but it was a poor area the named it that and tons of people bought it huge numbers. And didn't Huau, sounds like a Hyundai. Battleship the movie is underway tonight and tomorrow it starts I saw the shield up tells people want to know what it is it works how it works and corky the game I need to be right on top of it even while the Bronx tale is going on

Appreciate the help but really your white people are getting carried away said they're not my white people at all they're not my kind as you know I said yes when I called that cuz you send them there more or less to have all sorts of fun with us he can see my factories in that pictures we don't want that this is maybe you should take the pictures away so I'm starting to do that and all these people are starting to wonder what's going on why are these factories moving to the island and who's out there who the hell would move factories to the ighlands. I'll send this is the people get displaced and the factors move there and nobody says they're doing it that makes sense people do that for years so they know who to go after

Uriel and Goddess Wife

[whump-prophet]

"What if I left?" Ammit says suddenly, not looking over at her. "I mean, really left. Left all of it behind."

"What, Hell?"

"Everything, Abbie."

She thinks, takes a drag from her cigarette. "I don't know."

"What would you do?"

"Kill you, I guess. It's sorta expected, isn't it? Like, like retribution or something. Like how we went after... Ugh, what was hir name? One of yours, one of the early ones. Baraqel?"

They scowl, trying to remember. So many damned kids over the years. "Baraqel was one of my youngest. Pops killed qir for giving Solomon that spell."

"Oh, yeah. Which one deserted? Well, deserted /first/. They were all definitely yours. None of mine were ever fuckin' brave enough." She laughs.

Ammit doesn't. "Oh. You're thinking of Kasdaye."

"Yeah, that's the one. Little leapord-faced bitch was so annoying. Ran like the /tziyim/ though. Or, what're they called? Cheetahs. Lilith's nineteen tits, I was so glad it was hir instead of Armaros. Your weird runt, the one with the, um, the scorpion bits. That one was going places. Lasted a few goddamn millenia 'fore the monks got him."

"What a shitshow that was. I lost eight to the bastards in a week."

"They were efficient, I'll give 'em that. Still, think about it. Daddy'd roll over in his fucking /grave/ if you deserted. He'd come back just to destroy you- may the void keep him." She snorts, laughing at the way the smoke blows out her nostrils. "Can you imagine telling Azazel, King of the Fallen, once the fucking Ruler of Ophanim, that his favorite turned out to be a traitor? I'd kill to see the look on his face."

"You'd kill for anything."

"Yeah, that's true."

“Theoretically, what if I… didn’t?”

“Well, then theoretically I would have to kill you in order to prove to them that I was truly loyal.”

“You wouldn’t. You aren’t.”

“Are you willing to bet your life on the face I’ve shown you?”

[garyringrose]

Bali and New Zealand Day 37

Well as I put in the short post yesterday I decided to have a go at Mount Taranaki/Egmont (Maori/modern name) in respect for my high school geography teacher who I've stayed in touch with and who enjoys all my adventures but who sadly passed away a couple of weeks ago.

I've seen pictures of this peak known as the Mount Fiji of New Zealand and it looks so impressive and dominates the Taranaki area of North Island.

Whenever I see it, it's so stunning.

Now I've never been up anything as high as this connected to Earth before and this area had a larger than average snowfall this year so that's another issue, snow and ice on 40 degree slopes! It's also a vertical height gain of a mile.

We did the right thing and contacted a guiding company that my friend Claire Roigard put me onto. They in turn put me in touch with Dave Bolger who currently is the only Alpine 2 guide in the area and therefore the only guide that can take people up in winter conditions.

We talked through my fitness and past achievements , my clothing and boots and also my ice/snow/ice axe & crampon experience (0, none, Nader).

It was decided that my clothing was ace but my boots were not suitable for the conditions or attaching crampons. Fortunately they were able to loan me boots, crampons and an ice axe (yeah, always want one of these Everytime I go in an outdoor shop, you know, just in case!).

I was advised that as I'd no alpine, snow, ice, axe or crampon experience a summit was no guarantee and although I may think I'm fairly fit a 1600m height gain is no mean feat. Its also very weather dependent and conditions change rapidly as the mountain stands solo and has lots of coastline where weather can roll in from.

We basically have a go, Dave holds all the cards and assess how I am. If not good enough, we don't summit but we learn and practice snow skills lower down.

I'm totally good with all that, don't want summit fever (where summit is all that matters at all costs), great if happens but all new to me so all learning.

Well I was picked up at 0630, driven to the carpark which is at 900m. It was then about an hour's hike to the hut at base camp @ 1400m. Most of this section was ok but their is a section called the puffer and it is a pretty steep hill! This first section is a service track to the hut, mobile phone mast and for emergency vehicles. We then had a coffee and sorted our clothing layers in the hut and put on helmets and gloves.

The next section to @ 1900m was a mixture of hillside grass and tussock, a set of stairs and scree. Cloud cover drifted in and out and the summit appeared and disappeared. From here on in it was being roped to Dave, crampons and ice axe. We talked technique, ABC contact points and tested our avalanche personal locaters (different from plbs), kitted up and we're off.

I basically concentrated pretty hard and did as I was told! We ascended by walking up and across the snow and then turning to face opposite direction and repeating. In essence hiking up the 40 degree face in a zig zag as opposed to straight up as that's much less energy efficient. I did ok and Dave was pleased. The section just before the crater is pretty steep and is the Crux if the climb. I did feel it a bit just before we got their but got their we did. Dave was impressed and said we're on for the last pitch and the summit. I was delighted. The last pitch looked and is pretty damn steep but we seemed to get up it in no time. Must have been the adrenaline!

The top was beautiful, clear skies above the clouds and sunshine. The blues in the snow cap we're beautiful. We we're on top for a good five mins alone. We then dropped back down about 20 metres to a sheltered area for lunch. Three others that had been up had just had lunch and we're off back down. I took my sunglasses off for a split second, it was like the sun was on the end of my nose. The brightness off the snow was mental, snow blindness must be horrific.

It was then time to go back down. It was explained that roles reverse and I go first on the way down. That way Dave can see me and if I slip can react/hopefully save me! The other thing about going down is that you don't zig zag you go forward straight down and trust your axe and crampons and walk with a squat wide stance like a Gorilla (apparently). Initially this looked horrific as you had to go over the lip then head down a bloody long slope that if you were solo and slipped, you might not stop!

Trust in your guide and equipment though and it was fine. I was informed your quads can burn like mad on the way down but I was ok, maybe cycling helped their.

We returned to the hut to loose layers and kit and gave another coffee. We met three others that started later than us but they must have got a little tired and also cloud would white out for longer periods and they had to turn back. They had a good day though and like I said the mountain/summit ain't going anywhere, they live local so always another day. They totally agreed and had a great skills session anyway ,as I could of aswell if fitness/conditions an issue. Look for the positives.

The hardest part for me was the puffer on the way down as was hard on the knees and I had no walking poles .

Safely back down, returned to accommodation and one of the best experience of my life that I'll never forget. I took the poem Mr Townsend gave me with me in my pocket and thought of him whilst climbing and also all the forces involved in world wars as I was climbing on 11 hour of 11th day of 11th month and they had much harder challenges than my day.

The evening was topped off with a lovely meal cooked by our host Theresa who's originally from Borneo and her Kiwi husband Colin. Fantastic day and evening with great people, lots of interesting chat and Colin gave us a suggestion for the next days onward journey route. Theresa's rice wine was really nice, Colin gave us a fruit tasting session from his garden too. It was lovely until two fruits, one a lemon and one they call lemonade fruit as naturally tastes like lemonade. You can tell the difference in fruit by the skin smell. We couldn't tell from skin smell so taste it was. Our faces screwed up like prunes, that's a lemon then!! 😎