#i may be able to start figuring things out on my own without using tutorials! feels good!!!

[prismit]

girl help, i am doing silksong to my 3d models

[phosphorus-noodles]

Hi everyone!!

Lots of people asked for the pattern I used for my Joel and Lizzie dolls, but due to my mental unwellness, my "pattern" was actually a chaotic blend of multiple patterns, as well as my own spontaneity.

Nonetheless, I am going to attempt to explain the method to my madness in this post! (Fair warning, it will get long.)

(If you actually want to try to recreate this please PLEASE reach out to me!!! I can go into way more detail and do diagrams and whatnot if you really wanna see the full idea!!!)

I'm gonna do my best to divide this up into sections based on how I made them, but because I modified a lot of things and Joel and Lizzie are clearly not the same, it may get a little muddled along the way, but here goes!

The Bodies

First thing's first, this is the link to the tutorial I used for the basic body shape. Super great video, easy to understand, fantastic starting point for any doll!! :D

For Joel, I followed the tutorial pretty exactly, minus that middle seam for a belt. I changed colors for the boots, pants, and coat and kept all the measurements the same.

For Lizzie, I modified her pattern to be a little bit bigger bc haha funny tall wife. On parts of the pattern where the stitch count stayed the same, I added a few more rows to make them longer. I added 4 rows to the legs, 3 rows to the chest, and two rows to the arms.

Like this!

listen I had to visualize it somehow-

I also did a gradient for Lizzie's arms/legs/tail! Here is the video I used to figure out how to do it (I don't have the measurements for where I changed colors I'm sorry I'm goofy </3)

Also, here is a link to a post where I half-heartedly liveblogged the early stages of making them. You can kinda get a rough idea of where I changed colors for different parts of their outfits, etc. but I only got two steps, really- oops.

The Clothes

Now, this is the part where I documented virtually nothing, but honestly, it still turned out just fine!

For Joel, I made boot and sleeve cuffs by just single crocheting a chain to fit around his arm/leg and adding a couple of sc (single crochet) rows. Then I sewed the ends together with a long yarn tail, used thinner gold yarn to add some detailing (look up backstitching! it works really well!!), and sewed the edges on.

His coat ends were made in the same way, but bigger, and instead of sewing the edges fully together, I only connected the top stitches when I was attaching it. And because I'm a messy sewer, I easily hid the seam with a black sc-chain belt :)

The gold details of his coat is also a sc-chain just sewed on. The edges at the bottom... were sorta a sc-hemming type deal-? I don't know, I winged it and I don't like how it turned out </3

The shoulder pads I actually can tell you! It's 5 sc in a magic circle, sc around, and then I picot stitched around in each stitch. Then I tied off a long tail and sewed it onto the top of the arms before I attached them. The badge/flower is the same pattern, but without the sc round in between the mc and the picots.

The sash was a little wonky doing it as a full loop the whole time, so it was basically a long rectangle and when I was attaching the ends together I did it under the shoulder things so it wouldn't be bulky and ugly on top. I think it's decently easy to understand from the pictures in the original post, but if not lmk! (if any of this is coming across at all then bless you tbh.)

The collar is just two rectangles I sewed side by side, they don't continue to the back at all bc they were ugly /lh

And this is the tutorial I used for the crown! I threaded a little piece of green yarn through to make the jewel and tied a knot in the back :)

For Lizzie, I literally made the skirt up as I went along, but it was roughly based on this video. I started with a sc chain to get the right size, then made it a rectangle for a couple of rows (maybe like four?) before joining it together. (That way, I could make the skirt separately and still be able to get it back on her when I was done without being too tight!)

At some point, I picked a stitch as my "center point" and started going back and forth from about that point instead of completing the full circle, doing half double crochets close to it, then double crochets, then triple crochets, then back to dc and hdc as I got close to it again. I think I did about 6-8 for each stitch type section? The GOAL was to make the skirt's hem asymmetrical, which worked, but it's hard to explain bc I literally made it up.

Then I made another sc chain for the belt thing after I attached it :)

The top detailing is also a sc chain, but with some joined yarn above the arms for extra color. There's also bits of yarn that are supposed to be straps, but you can't really see them in any of the pictures, so that's optional rip.

For the frilly hem, I joined the yarn at the "center point" and basically just worked around the whole hem repeating (1 dc, 2dc inc) to make it all wavy and fun!

The Hair

The pattern I based the hair off of was from this kpop star doll that I was originally going to base my entire Joel doll off of.

The difference is I changed the lengths of the strands (I did it based off looks, so all of them are slightly different in length to look more natural) and also color changed the very front few strands of Joel's hair to be green. I also put two strands in a few of the back stitches instead of just one so they completely covered the back of the head (so there are 15-16 strands instead of 14.)

To attach the hair, I used pins to mark out where I wanted to place each strand. Here's a quick progress shot I sent to my friends:

Now, I wasn't smart, and used long pieces of thread from tying off the "hair mop" to sew all the strands onto the head individually. It took forever and make it kinda messy in the back because of weird overlapping. If I could redo it now, I'd use fabric glue or something to glue each strand so it lays flat, although if you don't have it or want to avoid the potential mess, sewing it does in fact work just fine.

Extra Bits (mostly for Lizzie)

Lizzie's tail is more or less the same as her arm, but it starts thinner and goes for longer at the end. For the frilly edge, I remember using a crochet beta fish fin design, but I can't for the life of me find it in my history now?? But it was essentially joining the yarn a few stitches from the point and crocheting (hdc, dc 2x, tr, dc 2x, hdc, dc 2x, tr) and mirroring it on the other side so it looked like this:

Here's a closer view of both the tail and the skirt's hem.

Lizzie's fins were made by making a magic circle, chaining 4 and sc-ing back, and slip stitching back into the circle three times to make the three points. Then I joined onto one point with the lighter color and sc-ed along to the other point to make it more detailed.

Here's a cursed image I sent to my friends of bald Lizzie and her fins.

Lizzie's space buns were a fever dream to me because I made them at 1 am, but I did something that looks similar to this puff stitch flower with only three "petals." I attached it to the head and then used a short chain of another color to add some color and detail.

Here's a view of a bun from the top.

---

I think that's just about it! If I missed anything or want to know how I did something better, please please PLEASE reach out to me!!

I'd love to go into more depth on things, but I predict this post will top off at 5 notes so I don't really want to spend hours explaining something that'll go completely unseen /lh

Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed this little insight into the inner workings of my brain! Feel free to share and tag me in anything if you decide to try to do this yourself.

Cheers!! <3

[athenaholmesartistsguild]

Had this card finished for a while before posting, but I was kinda insecure about it lol. I talk a little more in depth on this card's Patreon post (you can view and download it for free btw), but long story short, I got stuck in my head about whether I was embodying the symbolism of The Star and then I realized I didn't have to have a one-to-one counterpart to every Rider-Waite-Smith card lol.

Once I wasn't so stuck in my head, I realized I really like the way this card came out! I usually struggle to draw fire, but I found this quick tutorial and it actually gave me a process to try! Would recommend!

But let's go ahead and talk interpretations. They'll be below the cut as always:

After The Tower's destruction, The Star rises from the wreckage-- a shining beacon of hope.

While you likely experienced a period of pain and upheaval in the past, the presence of The Star suggests that good things are coming your way.

The Star is a card of hope and renewal. It reminds us that even though we went through trauma or generally crappy situations, we can emerge from them confident that things will get better. There are good things coming and we're urged to focus on those.

A lot of the symbolism within this card is somewhat religious in nature. The original woman is kneeling down with one of her feet seemingly walking on water, an homage to the Christian understanding of Jesus. The Star appears to be very in touch with the higher power within her whether her understanding of it stems from religion or her own spiritual beliefs.

In this way, we're urged to have faith in the forces we might not be able to comprehend. Sometimes singular or series of events can happen without us putting much effort into their creation. Sometimes, something we wanted or needed comes to us even when it didn't seem at all possible. The Star urges us to have faith in ourselves and trust that what we want will come to us.

Be confident in yourself, have hope that things will change, and begin to free yourself from the fear that keeps you from living authentically.

Reversed, the once hopeful figure of The Star has lost their glow. They've become lost in their pain and struggle to find any reason to stay positive. There's only so much a person can take before they feel beaten down and hopeless.

An important distinction, however, if that a reversed Star does not mean you have no hope. There are still plenty of chances for our situations to improve and for us to heal, this reversed card simply indicates our own feelings and thoughts.

While it can be frustrating to hear that something's 'all in our head', a reversed Star can be looked at as a sign that we have the power to make things better. Whatever higher power put us on Earth also gave us the ability to alter our reality and create a better life for ourselves.

Of course we may need help along the way whether that be a therapist, doctor, support group, or our loved ones, but that help is out there.

Even a reversed Star is a message that the worst of our pain and suffering is over. The pain we suffered is real and valid, it always will be. But The Star reminds us that we have the power to heal from it and come back stronger than when we started.

When designing this card, I wanted Haruka to represent the Star in question.

After Kiryu's entire family died, he felt like he had no reason to stay alive. The whole reason he went on his journey in the first game was to be reunited with the people he loved. He was willing to forgive those that had hurt him and move on, but in a very short period of time, everything was taken from him.

Everything except Haruka.

Haruka isn't free from suffering, either; her mother was taken from her and her father tried to kill her, but she serves as an anchor for Kiryu to hold onto his desire to live (even if he continues to struggle in the future).

She's an opportunity for Kiryu to get away from the Tojo Clan-- the organization that gave him everything he loved, but also took it away so many times. A beacon of hope leading Kiryu towards the life he actually wants.

Things aren't easy. Healing from such intense trauma rarely is, but there's hope for this little girl who never had a proper family and this man who just lost his.

Fate seemingly destroyed both their lives, but it seems like it also gave them everything they needed to find new meaning in the mess left over.

[thoughts-about-robots]

Thoughts About the Second Hour

Yesterday I finally finished up my play-through of the Switch version and yes I cried during the very final cutscene lol

But then I went back to my new PS4 save and continued on...

Here we are starting to get into the longer prologues... I was able to blast through three of them + tutorial battles in the first hour, here we slow down a little

I'm not sure why exactly the English localization was unable to use H.G. Wells's name in-game but the whole "that one author" thing is awkward as hell, especially with the JP voice track on. when I said in my last thoughts post that the localization was dodgy, well... this is kinda what I mean lmao. I figure this is some copyright-based limitation but it's still silly, especially when the allusions to The War of the Worlds are so explicit otherwise

that said I find it interesting that the world of 13 Sentinels has stand-in fake names for movies from our own, but The War of the Worlds (and its author) is explicitly name-dropped. I just find this interesting because you know what movies they're "not" talking about otherwise (Godzilla, E.T., Terminator, etc.). this may perhaps be due to something we find out later

I love Minami, honestly... this game has really great female characters. I think most of the guys are actually kinda boring (their scenarios are much more interesting than they themselves are, let's put it that way) but the girls are all *chef's kiss*

I also love BJ... you can tell, after he gets oriented, that he thinks Minami is kind of A LOT

I was playing this and going through the last part of Minami's prologue thinking, wow I just love all of this... honestly the end with the Hi-Quads looming in the background (and the one suddenly standing up to look at her on the ridge) is one of the best moments of the early game

this isn't the first time Lonely Struggle is played but I really love this track and its use here... the whole soundtrack is pretty great but sometimes it's easy to forget it's a game soundtrack. Lonely Struggle in particular sounds like it came straight out of a Godzilla movie

Ogata showed up before in Hijiyama's prologue and I didn't like him there, either lmao

finally getting to the battle tutorial section... out of all the sentinels, the 2nd gen and 3rd gen are the ones where I'm reminded, oh yeah, these things are basically walking tanks. 3rd gen in particular are slow as fuck for most of the main campaign

I'll talk about Miura more when I get to his prologue but I think he is actually one of the better-written guys in the game... out of all of the boys I think he has the most nuance, unfortunately on the surface he's kinda boring lmao

another blink and you'll miss it bit of foreshadowing: "this was his last gift to me"

then we get to Yakushiji's prologue, which has to be my favorite in the entire game... all the scenes are really well put-together and memorable, from Kurabe showing up in the sentinel right up to the "contract" scene with Fluffy

another thing we are shown very casually: Kisaragi comes from the same "time" as Yakushiji

I remember this being the first part of the game where I was really truly disoriented... you go from 2024 (hmm) to 1985 (hmmmm) with a flashback to 2025 (hmmmmmm) and I was like wow there's just something kinda cray cray about this. the time traveling seemed very significant when it was shown in Hijiyama's and Minami's prologues but here it's happened so casually and without comment lmao so when the talking cat shows up it doesn't even seem that weird tbqh

when I said the game doesn't spoon feed you information, this is all what I'm kind of talking about... you already got shown that there's something up with Kurabe in his prologue (the documents in Morimura's office), but here we find out three things: he's a time traveler (and from very, very far into the future), he actually was Juro Izumi, and he's suffering memory loss. Kisaragi is also from Yakushiji's time period but we know she's also in 1985 at the same time, as shown in Fuyusaka's prologue. time travel was introduced in Hijiyama's prologue and now everyone can apparently do it lmao. the game does eventually provide explanations for all this but the explanations are usually only stated once and never brought up again

I love the scene with Fluffy, he's honestly a great character. once you know who he actually is all of this is very funny and also note that he never once lies to Yakushiji lmao

do note that no matter what you pick during the "choice" Yakushiji actually refuses to make a contract with Fluffy... she either sarcastically "accepts" or just straight up says no

two great pieces of music play in this prologue, Impending Doom (which was first played in Kurabe's prologue) and A Clause with Claws, one of my favorite tracks in the story sections

finally, the battle segment... we're introduced to sentinel recovery here but during my first play through, I never used it. I forgot it was even a thing to be quite honest until I was browsing YT comment sections and someone mentioned how they almost got a game over in one part of the game... and I was like "oh yeah :o"

I don't like Ogata but I do think he and Kisaragi are a good couple lmao

little tangent: if I ever harp on about how I forgot some significant detail in the tutorial section it's because... the second time I picked this up I believe I played up to a certain point and then put it down for a couple weeks . as much as I love this game, for me it didn't really pick up until a certain series of events several hours into it. the early game is equal parts entertaining, confusing, and honestly kinda boring (which is why I didn't zip through it when it launched, and even back in 2020 I only got about 8 hours into it before I stopped playing). but on a repeat play through you can see just how tight and well-written the narrative actually is. it's just the game is really really invested in getting you to think it's about one thing when it's actually about something else entirely :v

Miscellanea:

I really love the little drone icon on BJ's projected screen.... bless

[genmakesmedia]

re-learning html without the pressure of a project deadline

When practicing HTML again, I worked through a PowerPoint presentation given to us by my lecturer Phil. It went a lot smoother than expected, and actually was a lot simpler than I thought it would be. I decided to document my process of going through it:

To start off with I created a NotePad file and saved it on my desktop under the name "index.html" as the tutorial advised. I have also experimented with other coding software - such as Adobe Dreamweaver and Visual Studio Code - but this was my first time coding without any of the helpful autofill suggestions and colour-coding both of these applications offer.

Next, I set up the basics of the HTML page, including its document type and title. Then I added my first heading and paragraph. I decided to keep my text pretty clear and to the point so that I wouldn't get mixed up looking through the code.

After this I experimented with lists! We didn't really need anything like this when coding our Narrative Project, so it was nice to just have fun and explore the many possibilities HTML has to offer.

As I have had experience coding images from the previous project, I decided to skip these for now and focus my learning on things which I didn't know.

The next thing I decided to try was "inline frame" or <iframe> tags. The presentation I worked through describes inline frames as "An HTML document embedded inside another... Typically, MS Stream or YouTube videos." To play with this, I tried to link a YouTube video (to make myself chuckle, I decided on this video posted by the account Rat. However, even though my code was correct, YouTube wouldn't show the video on the page, so I ended up scrapping this feature.

So that the Horizontally Spinning Rat video still got a feature on the page, my next experiment was with hyperlinks! I tried this a couple of different ways, first of all by leaving it as just a generic hyperlink that opens in lieu of whatever webpage you're on, but - once again, supported by the tutorial provided - was able to change it so that the video opened in a new tab when clicked.

The last thing I wanted to experiment with was adding boxes and borders and I did this by attempting to use the CSS box model. I learned the base code for this from this W3Schools tutorial, and used it to essentially add a pink border around all of my <div> code (which essentially gives some really clean line breaks).

All in all, I really enjoyed this exercise. Admittedly the code I produced here is nothing special, and the web file is quite plain to look at, but as I have already used a lot of style functions for other projects I wanted to focus purely on things which were new to me. Coding in NotePad wasn't as hard as I was worried it would be, either, though it was frustrating having to comb through personally to figure out what wasn't working each time I made a mistake (I decided to leave those moments out of my walkthrough as there would have been many.) In the future, when I have more time, I would love to explore creating my own websites in this way, and giving them more interactivity.

My newfound interest in interactive websites I owe almost entirely to the ARG Welcome Home, created by Tumblr user partycoffin. ARG stands for Alternate Reality Game, and essentially these games use real world mediums like websites and social media to tell a story (. I feel particularly inspired by Clown's website as it is of the psychological horror genre, and utilises a lot of hidden/floating text elements to tell its story. I would love to have the ability to create something like it one day, I just think it's so cool.

Bibliography:

Clown. (2023) Welcome Home. Available at: https://www.clownillustration.com/welcomehomeyou (Accessed: 17 April 2023).

Rat (2022) 'Horizontally Spinning Rat for 10 Hours' [YouTube] 15 May. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXm9qeq1_eE (Accessed: 17 April 2023).

Richardson, P. (2023) 'Into Web Design'. MD4004: Digital Media Foundations. Kingston University London. Unpublished.

w3schools (2023) CSS Box Model. Available at: https://www.w3schools.com/css/css_boxmodel.asp (Accessed:17 April 2023).

[futuristiccreationzombie]

Hello, person here who has been painting and drawing for years and has finally reached a point where I no longer hate almost all of my work. I'm speaking from the experience of having taken art "seriously" at some point some years ago and being very fixated on building technical skills back then (and now) because I lacked drawing fundamentals for a long time (at this point, however, it is said that you can have fun drawing even without studying and have the ability to create works of art. For me, my lack of technical knowledge was the point that bothered me - for you it may be something completely different, so please don't take this as a general guide. Everyone has their own style and goals and there is great value in going your own way). What helped me was to draw a lot. It sounds trite, but if you draw a lot of different things, on the one hand you realize which motifs/painting style you enjoy and on the other hand you can see what you are not satisfied with on a purely technical level. Then you can concentrate on this and see what exactly you are lacking in your current skills. Do you have the feeling that you are unsure about figurative drawing and human proportions? Do your drawings look flat in your eyes because you have problems understanding how to use light and shadow?

This step is very individual, but for me it was always the case that I could name relatively easily what exactly bothered me about my own drawings. Then, or simply from the beginning, you can try to learn both visually and technically. It might sound dry, but I actually had a lot of fun with the process and hope that others or you might feel the same way. I started watching videos from different artists on Youtube. Both process videos and tutorials can be very helpful and you should be able to find something on almost any topic that can help you visually. If you look for anatomy videos on drawing alone, you will find many tutorials from different artists that explain the basics of form on the one hand, but then show you the rendering process at the same time, for example. You can watch such videos and try to do exercises from the video (for example, simply sketch what is shown in the video yourself. This will help you to memorize the information better and you will also be directly involved in the exercise instead of just sitting in front of YouTube for 20 minutes). In my case, I didn't notice any learning effect at first. Don't let this discourage you, even if it can be frustrating. Everyone started somewhere and just about every artist you look up to now has reached a similar point at some time in their life.

The important thing is not to give up if you love drawing and your goal is actually to improve technically in some way. It's totally ok if you don't feel like investing time in learning, but for me that was actually the way I was able to see improvement the fastest. The visual aspect along with the general knowledge that comes from watching videos is helpful. It's hands-on learning without having to actually interact socially or financially. Just look around for artists whose style and tutorials appeal to you and listen to what they have to say. Other than that, I can only recommend what you can find everywhere in terms of tips (disclaimer: I'm not saying that watching tutorials is an original action lol): work with photo references, read books on the subject (you can find a lot of them or parts of them online), make master copies of classic artists or simply visual media you like. Learning to draw, like learning any skill, is a process and sometimes you will feel better about your results than other times. Try to draw when you feel like drawing and listen to your brain when you need a break for a few days. You have time and can try and grow at your own pace.

It's important to stay true to yourself and draw what you WANT to draw and not just what you think will help you improve the fastest. Otherwise you can quickly burn out.

I hope this has been helpful in some way, as I've mainly just spoken from my own experience.

Have fun, and good luck drawing!

Hey guys, how the actual hell do I learn how to draw?!

[tommeraas-cc]

A warning about high polycount custom content - for downloaders and creators

I don't claim to be an expert on custom content, but I've been making CC for nearly 4 years now and I think I've learned a thing or two about how to spot custom content that might not be best for your computer/game. I only recently got a computer that can handle some of the CC out there, so I wanted to make a guide on how to spot CC that might not be right for you if you want fast loading times, minimal overheating, or your computer isn't as powerful. This guide will mostly be about clothing, but I'm sure most of these things can be applied to other types of CC.

Disclaimer: Absolutely no hate to anyone who makes CC that is high polycount -- I am guilty of doing this without disclosing it earlier in my CC making journey. We are all learning and improving every day and we all have different preferences for our own CC making which is the fun part of this community :) If you are a CC creator who needs help avoiding high polycount please message me and I would 100% be willing to you help you 

High polycounts 

3D content is made up of vertices that connect to each other to create a 3D model that can be molded into different shapes (the small segments that make up these larger shapes are called polygons). The more little dots you have, the more detailed the item can be. However, there are ways to include detail without using a high number of these vertices and polygons, it just takes time and practice.

Why should I be wary of downloading CC with a high polycount? 

There is a reason that clothing made by EA/Maxis has a limit to the number of polygons they can use in their meshes. If an item of CC has too high of a polycount, it could drastically slow down your game, overheat your computer, cause your game to crash, or even permanently damage the hardware of your computer. Of course, there are different tolerances for high polycounts based on the specs of your computer, so be aware of this before downloading. If your computer cannot run smoothly on the ultra graphics setting without CC installed, you should probably be proactive about the kind of CC you download to avoid these issues. 

However, even those with high end computers can run into issues when trying to play with a lot of this kind of CC, so it is up to the individual player to decide what they want for their game. I permanently damaged my last computer by busting a fan due to graphics rendering in the Sims 4. Please do not make the same (very expensive) mistakes I have.

The case for high polycounts:

There are certain clothing items that would not be possible to model in the sims without a high polycount. The creators who make these very detailed meshes are super talented and have my utmost respect, but my old computer just couldn’t handle them! My rule of thumb for my own personal game is that if I’m going to download something with a crazy high poly count, it better be something special. In my opinion, there’s no reason a simple tank top should be 3x the polycount of an average EA mesh. A handful of high polycount items aren’t going to crash your game (probably-- know your own computer’s limits), but considering most people will download many items from the same creator, the collection of all of those items may cause issues.

CC creators make their meshes for fun and creativity, and many don’t create for the express purpose of having many people use a bunch of their meshes in their games at once. It’s totally fine to make high polycount custom content, but if you’re a CC creator it would be respectful to people who download your items and support you to be warned of these possible issues (especially if they are paying for them!!!). Most CC creators have high-end computers, but downloaders might not, which is something to keep in mind :)

How high is too high?

This is honestly a personal preference. For me, anything with more than double the average polycount is “unacceptable without disclosing” and must include a disclaimer when I post it. For toddler full body outfits, which is what I normally make, I would consider this to be around 10-12K as the max acceptable polycount to post without a disclaimer. This number varies based on the type of CC, with adult polycounts being higher usually (given that items are quite literally larger than toddler items). For adult full-body outfits, I try to stay under 15K, and anything over 20k I would consider needing a disclaimer. But, again, this is up for personal debate, and there are a lot of factors that go into this. I am just basing this information on EA’s limits and my personal experience from playing this game on lower end computers.

How to spot high poly-count CC 

So, you’ve decided that for your personal game, you want to avoid high polycount CC. Unfortunately, many creators do not disclose when their CC has an high polycount, so it’s up to you to figure out which is which.

Before you download the item: for clothing, the easiest way to spot high polycount CC from preview photos is to look for folding in the fabrics. I don't have a high polycount CC of my own that is completed to show you, and I don’t want to put another creators CC here out of respect, so here is an example of an unfinished mesh that can get the point across. 

As you can see, the folds in the sleeves look like they are mostly physically present, and that the folds aren't a result of the texture. This often results in sort of a "bumpy" look to the CC. If you're seeing clothing that has this tell-tale bumpy look with many folds that you can tell are 3-dimensional, you should probably avoid this CC (if you have decided to avoid high polycount CC). A small amount of bumps is normal but as you can tell by this skirt it's a little more extreme. 

Below you can see the low polycount version of this cc item where the folds look much smoother and are not as 3 dimensional. I added details like the folds in the sweater and at the top of the skirt with textures and mapping rather than a high polycounts as you might be able to tell by the fact that there are smooth edges rather than 3D folds. I have a small section of ruffles on the sleeves that have maintained a higher polycount which you can see by the physical ruffles. Details like this are impossible to do with just textures.

There are many CC creators much more talented than I that are very good at using texture images to give off the illusion of detail without high polycounts. Look at the edges of the item where folds appear and if there’s a smooth line there, the creator might be using textures and mapping to give the illusion of folding!

After you download the item: Of course, you can always download Sims4Studio, the program CC creators use to import their meshes into the sims format, to check polycounts. If you open CC in this program and click the meshes tab, the polycount will be displayed here. I only do this for items that I think might be insane polycounts (like 100k+ or something ridiculous for clothing, which is about ten times higher than I would recommend) that might crash my game, otherwise, I usually just go by how the item looks in the previews with the tips I just told you.

There are some CC items that are pretty much guaranteed to have high polycounts. The vast majority of alpha hair will have high polycounts -- this is unavoidable and does not mean the CC is not high quality, it is just a necessity for that kind of CC. Just be aware that having many alpha CC hairs in your game might cause slowdown/overheating. 

I am a CC creator who wants to start making lower polycount stuff that still has detail. How do I get started?

I started figuring out how to do detail via textures and normal mapping about two years ago. The main resource that helped me was this fantastic tutorial by SLYD. The main thing you need for this method is a lowpoly AND highpoly version of your mesh. It takes more time to do this versus making a highpoly mesh but I think the payoff is worth it to make good quality cc that everyone can enjoy :) (Also, another benefit is you won’t have to spend so long waiting for sims4studio to import your mesh) If you would like some tips on how to do this or have questions from that tutorial feel free to message me anytime! I also have a discord server where you can get help with CC making. Again, I am not the best expert around but I might know enough to help you.

Here is another discussion on this topic that I think is a really good read if you are interested :)

TL;DR if you’re a creator who makes high polycount stuff, please put a disclaimer on your downloads. If you’re a downloader, be aware of what your own personal game and computer can handle.

[thechekhov]

So glad you decided to play Undertale! I think it would really suit you so I’m so happy you got into it! Could I have your thoughts about the game? I would LOVE to hear them. I’m ALL for long essays and rants, that’s my jam, but even just a small review from you would make me ecstatic!

Alright alright alright alright. 

I am ecstatic that someone asked because I have a lot to say AS ALWAYS. 

I’m gonna try to keep this readable, I swear. Will add pictures in between to keep things interesting. 

However, due to the length this will SURELY achieve, AND due to spoilers (and yes, laugh at me all you want, the game has been out for 5 years) I’ll put this under a cut. Read at your own (f)risk.

Metagaming - the game plays YOU

When I first started Undertale, I ‘knew’ these things:

there’s a stabby one with a knife, their name is chara

there’s a flower everyone hates

something something sans something something

and the last, and perhaps most important thing

you can spare your enemies to avoid killing them

The thing is. The THING IS. 

I did not realize how pervasive this strategy was. My thought at first was ‘okay, so I don’t have to kill EVERYONE.’

I had no idea that the reality was that I didn’t have to kill anyone.

I’m sure many others have already said this, but Undertale kind of changes the way you think about other games. It forces to you examine simply fighting your way through the RPG by introducing completely non-murder-y ways to resolve issues. This conversation-based combat style is not the first of its kind, I’m sure, but it’s also incredibly well done. It ties into the story, it ties into your decisions.

It ties into your decisions SO MUCH that it changes everything else in the outcome.

Undertale is a game well known for breaking the 4th wall. However, it does so in a strangely eerie, heart-wrenchingly real way. It teaches us that there are other solutions to conflicts - and it really... it really TEACHES us, you know?

Which is funny because to be honest, it took me a while to get the lesson.

(You may already be fully aware of this but yes, my first True Neutral Route was extremely organic. I legitimately had no idea that there was even more than one ending. I was just stumbling about er... killing. Out of habit.)

The beauty of this is that the game drives home that point even more effectively because I was fully unaware of my own bias. I had assumed that some enemies would require killing - DESPITE TORIEL SPECIFICALLY TELLING ME TO TALK TO THEM, and the entire Ruins tutorial being about Mercy. I killed the Dummy on accident (granted, it was due to me pressing the key too fast a few times) and didn’t think much of Toriel’s disapproval. I killed a few monsters because I saw my level was low and decided to automatically grind a little bit. 

By the time I got to Toriel, I was still not comfortable with the mechanic. I knew I could Spare her somehow - after all, she was a kind monster, and clearly an important character - but the Spare option didn’t yield promising results the first few times I chose it. I ran out of patience and decided that maybe... maybe it was like pokemon! 

Maybe I had to get her health down to a certain level before she would allow me to pass through.

Funny thing though.... you know what happens if you attack Toriel one too many times? Even if she has most of her health left? 

Yeah uh... it activates that one-hit-KO thing from No Mercy Route.

So of course, what happened? I hit her one too many times... and killed her! And of course, immediately panicked and reset. 

I got back to my previous save, Spared Toriel PROPERLY this time, and walked out of the ruins only to be confronted with my own reliance on the magical ‘redo’ button which was... apparently... not that magical.

Because it WASN’T a clean redo. Flowey apparently remembered. 

The idea that the game would KNOW about my previous attempts beyond the save file snapped me out of my casual Undertale playthrough. I realized that something was up - this game was not going to be like the others.

I think it was from this point on that I tried to be more careful, but again - I still hadn’t quite gotten the memo about not killing. I took down a few monsters around Snowdin. And when I got to Papyrus, I grew frustrated about not being able to beat him (I ended up losing several times and coming back to try again) and went off to grind SOME MORE because I figured that could raise my HP and increase my chances of holding off long enough to Spare him. 

(The incredible thing about this game is that actually, raising your level gives you only a slight advantage. You can be level 1 and carrying no items, and as long as you’re relatively proficient at dodging the bullet hell style projectiles you will have no issues.) 

Anyway, the point is that I realized I could spare the big monsters and did so readily - but I didn’t bother to spare many of the smaller ones. 

I figured it didn’t matter. 

And then I successfully evaded Undyne, gave her a cup of water, etc... and then went to her house to meet Papyrus, fully expecting her to befriend me anyway. 

And you know what happened?

“She said she won’t hang out with a murderer.“

I think that probably hit me the hardest at that point in the game. 

I had a bit ‘....oh’ moment at that point because I realized that the game would punish me for killing even the ‘not-important’ civilians of the Underground. It wasn’t about just sparing the ‘boss monsters’. My actions had consequences beyond just the ‘elite’ characters that we all tend to focus on.

Because yes, it made sense. It wasn’t about just Undyne - why WOULD she randomly be my friend after I killed tons of living beings?

From there on, I spared everyone, but didn’t reset. I decided to see how it would unravel.

The thing I want to talk about, which is a little difficult, is that...

It took me that long to learn that kindness was the answer. And that, in itself, ends up being a metaphor. 

It’s difficult to be kind if you have not been show how to be.

It’s difficult to change the way you behave (in a game or out of it) if all you know is using other methods.

It was hard enough to spare Toriel before I realized I had to just be very patient and trust that her attacks wouldn’t hit - though at first I thought she would just kill me! 

It was hard to avoid Papyrus’ attacks and I had to die several times before I successfully got through it. 

It was near impossible to fight Undyne because I legitimately had no idea Fleeing was an option. I struggled for ages at her stage, and I had to ask for help to understand what I could do.

And that’s actually honestly very true to life as well.

Being kind takes risk. Being kind takes effort. And sometimes, being kind means asking others HOW to be kind. 

When you choose to be kind, you risk being hurt, and you risk being trapped (Toriel). When you choose to be kind, you need to expand a lot more energy to succeed (Papyrus). When you choose to be kind, you need to sometimes reach out to others to show you how to properly do it (Undyne).

The rest of the playthrough probably went about as you expect. I completed the game, didn’t kill any Boss Monsters, fought to the end and... got that really unsatisfying Neutral Ending which felt strangely bittersweet. 

And of course, after I was done, I was prompted to go back and do a proper Pacifist Run. Which I did. I learned about the background of Determination, about Chara and Asriel... and about how everything came to be the way it was.

The thing that gets me the most about this game is how it serves as a direct parallel to how we use videogames. In fact, Undertale is a videogame... about videogames. 

Chara appears to be a direct metaphor for the people that use videogames to escape - to cope with whatever happened to them in The Overworld. Bad family life, or bad relationships or whatever we suffer - escapism through games is not, in itself, a new theme. 

Chara arrived in Undertale by dropping themself down a hole in the mountain, perhaps even seeking to end their life. They dropped into a world which offered them comfort and companionship, a new family and a new life - but in the end, their nature was destructive because their means to finding a solution inadvertently used other people as fodder. Asgore, Asriel - they used everyone else to complete their plans. It wasn’t about forming connections - it was about Completing the Quest. 

I wonder - did Chara even HAVE access to a MERCY option? 

Was their world one without the option of sparing someone? Did they only have the choice of acting - and was Mercy in the hands of whoever attacked them? I wonder how difficult it might have been for them. I wonder how that, in itself, shaped their perception of the world. 

I wonder if that’s why, during the No Mercy run, people recognize you as Chara? If they come back and attach themselves to your resonating DETERMINATION?

If this is true, was MERCY perhaps created later, brought into existence once Asriel himself made the choice to NOT fight, to turn back and flee, even after being attacked by humans in the Overworld? 

(It would be a nice parallel to Asgore DESTROYING the Mercy option when you enter the fight with him...)

...

In the end, I think Undertale is about many things, including video games. 

But it’s also hurting - and being hurt. 

It’s about how trauma can shape us, how we deal with feeling grief, and loss, and depression - and not being able to feel anything.

It’s about how we focus on goals and use DETERMINATION to keep going - even when whatever it is that’s driving us no longer has any SOUL. 

It’s about how our action have consequences, but they also carry the weight of a choice, and how powerful those choices are, and how powerless we feel when we aren’t given a choice - not to fight back, nor show mercy. 

I think that’s probably the reason this game resonated with so many people. It really brings something we love about videogames to the forefront - that ability to fight back, to have full and total control of our own lives...

And it also shows us how having that endless loop of repetitive grinding and fighting with zero consequences can lead to an incredible hollowness and make us numb to how we interact with real-life people. 

Anyway. 

Good game. 

[an-annyeoing-writer]

vulnerability. – chap. 3.

Story info:

Pair: Byun Baekhyun x Reader

Rating: +18 for mentions of s*x and violence (future chapters)

Genre: angst, smut

Chapter info:

Release date: 29th July 2021

Word count: 4 219

Warnings: none

Vulnerability Masterlist || Fanfiction Masterlist || Ko-Fi

Taglist:

@shesdreaminginoverdose @mybiasdashboard @marimsun @byuns-asscheeks @multi–kpop–fanfics @vunv @making-me-blush @skittlez-area512 @bloopbloopkai @byuns-asscheeks @baekyeonoreo @devotedexolnhottest @mingxia-nikki04 @velvetjongin @ssssssul (won't let me tag you T_T) @nemi-mei @buttercupbbh

Please, always comment on the newest chapter if you wish to be added to/removed from the taglist. I will be also checking the tags, so if you’re shy – feel free to leave a note this way.

Previous (Chap. 2.)

Chap. 3.

The tension that appeared the moment you received the phone call from Baekhyun did not dissolve with time. In fact, the opposite happened – it grew as the time passed, and as Saturday came closer and closer. Finally, once your Friday to Saturday night shift came to an end and you stumbled into your flat around 4 in the morning, you knew that you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep easily. Yet, you forced a whole cup of green tea into yourself in an attempt to soothe your nerves before sleep. Your alarm was set for noon, and you were supposed to meet at 3 PM.

You woke up feeling energized, but you knew this pattern all too well already – the tiredness would come and hit you with its whole power the day after, and you’d spend Sunday sluggish and drained. But that was okay, because Sunday didn’t matter half as much as Saturday did.

You felt a small urge to dress up; even more, actually, you felt a need to pay attention to details rather than looking fine at the first glance. Some common sense hyped up by years of watching other people and reading stories – a thorough shower, shaving, paying attention to not only what you wore outside, but also your undergarments. You lacked things that could be considered “sexy”, but – let’s face it – you didn’t think it mattered much; not after what you’d found out so far. Yet, it would be a shame if your panties had a hole in them. Wearing something neutral, but fresh was your best bet. Every few minutes, you kept reminding yourself – you don’t even know what will happen, you don’t even know if anything will happen at all. There was no reason to think that he’ll want you to undress in the first place, you said it yourself that you’re not ready for sex.

But then, it still helped you gather confidence that you definitely needed at a moment like that. Details allowed one less thing to worry about, and a better ability to focus on others, and so, you made sure the details were worked out well, and that you didn’t overdress, either; a beige shirt and jeans, all wrapped up with sneakers and another knitted cardigan of yours – neutral and polite, maybe a bit school-ish, but these were the things you mostly wore on daily basis, and you felt that going in the other direction – of tight pants, mini-skirts and see-through shirts – would not be appreciated. Your hair was pulled up into a loose bun, nothing like the ones you admired in YT tutorials, but the best you could do on your own. Maybe it was the age difference that made you feel obliged to show respect rather than expose yourself. You trusted your instinct on that, and so far, nothing happened yet to prove it wrong. The weather was starting to get warmer; these days were particularly sunny and dry, so you felt at ease without an extra jacket. It couldn’t get that bad in the evening, and you put faith in your cardigan.

Baekhyun must have thought similarly.

You stood in the bar’s entry, looking up at him for a moment; he leaned back into his usual couch, not aware of your presence just yet. He was wearing a black button-up and jeans as well, something he still looked pretty well put-together in, but not too formal – similar to your own thought process, noticeably.

You inhaled deeply, and took your time to exhale the air – until you felt ready to walk up to him.

“Hi there” he spoke as you approached his couch; as expected, he was there alone today.

“Hi there” you replied with a slight nod and a smile; your voice was quiet, as quiet as it could be without trembling in anticipation.

“You want to drink something before we go?”

You considered it for a second, and then nodded again. Baekhyun moved a bit to the side, encouraging you to join him on the couch, and you took the offer with gratitude.

“Beer? I don’t want to get you drunk, but we may sit here for a bit just to relax.”

“You can tell I need it?”

“Yes. I can tell. Your shoulders are very tense. May I?”

His hand reached to your shoulder and you nodded slightly, a bit unsure what you agreed to just yet.

He suddenly squeezed your muscle, and you whimpered. He kneaded it, and you found the tension dissolving gradually as he went on. Even with only one hand and unfavorable position, he managed to find some of the spots that required touch; that touch was welcome, slight pain coming along with it was desired for the best outcome. You didn’t notice when Baekhyun must have given the bartender some sort of a sign, but the man soon came with a beer and water that he put on the nearby table. That was when Baekhyun’s movement slowly ceased, cautiously letting go of your shoulders. You felt as if you were in a different body, the tension in your body almost gone, just as the one in your mind – the moments of physical interaction were enough to chase some of your worries away.

“You don’t drink?” You reached towards the table – it was closer to you than to him – and took the two glasses, handing him the water and keeping the beer for yourself.

“Not before,” he explained curtly, which you accepted without further questioning.

“So… what are we gonna do?” you asked carefully, sipping the beer through a metal straw, trying to give off a casual vibe despite focusing deeply on what you were about to hear.

“Depends. On how much will you allow me to do.” Baekhyun focused his gaze on something in the crowd; you felt as though it was his habit to avoid a direct gaze in an attempt to sound collected. “I had the idea of showing you some things. Just so you feel it out a little. It’s not final, but it may help the both of us figure out how we feel about it. Like a free trial, you see my point?” You nodded, but didn’t say anything, so after a moment he continued. “I won’t introduce you to everything, and it won’t last as long as usual sessions, either. I’ll talk to you a bit beforehand so we figure out some basic things. It shouldn’t make you uncomfortable. I won’t be trying anything beyond your comfort zone.”

“So, no deals a’la Fifty shades?” you felt silly the moment these words left your mouth. Baekhyun laughed awkwardly.

“No, it won’t be necessary. If you want to draw a comparison to that, I definitely won’t be dumping the whole scheme on you when you don’t even know what it’s like.”

And you won’t fuck me first thing in the plot, you added in your thoughts.

“There are a few things that I may ask you here, so that we have those out of the way,” he spoke; his tone lowered a little. “I need you to tell me if you have any illnesses or old injures that could influence your physical capacity.”

You thought for a bit; the answer was important, but you couldn’t recall much.

“I don’t think there’s anything important.”

“Is there anything unimportant?” His gaze pierced through you as he caught on your wording.

“Uh… I’m taking pills for my thyroid, but it’s nothing very dramatic” you explained. “Nothing else that I know of.”

Baekhyun nodded slowly.

“Fair. Next question, is there anything you’re particularly scared of? Phobias, or things you’re scared of in general, anything overly triggering that you want to avoid at all costs?” You already revealed some of these during your first conversation. But now you felt more at ease, and you thought you could be more detailed without sounding overwhelming.

“I’m… scared of fire. And hate my hair being pulled. I don’t know, why. I can’t explain it. It’s just…”

“It’s alright. You don’t need to explain yourself to me” Baekhyun looked at you with his eyebrows slightly furrowed. “You sound like it would stress you out to share. You don’t need to be afraid of that. You don’t owe me anything, keep that in mind. It’s not supposed to feel like an obligation.”

“I-I know.”

“I’m scared of heights, by the way.” You stared at him in confusion. “Hm? Just thought it’s fair to share if you did.”

“Oh.”

“Chill out.” He nudged your glass with his hand to urge you to drink some more of the beer you managed to forget about by then. It was halfway through – you didn’t want to leave the glass with some of it still inside, although it managed to make you feel just a bit sick already.

His own drink was at around the same level too, and as you finished yours, he drank the remaining water in one go as well.

You weren’t the best at handling alcohol, and even the small amounts made you a bit weak in the knees. But you felt sober enough as the two of you finally got up; Baekhyun paid for your drinks and you left the bar.

The weather was nice, as expected. Going out into the sunlight again startled you, somehow; you felt as though a lot of time had already passed. But no, it was still the same afternoon.

It was true that Baekhyun lived nearby. His apartment was in a different direction than your place, though, and you estimated it would take around twenty minutes to get from one place to the other. You knew this area, although not too well – there were only some tenement houses, but no stores or academic buildings that could gain your attention or regular presence. It was on the more expensive side, although not a place a well off office worker wouldn’t afford; just maybe not suitable for a student. The tenement houses were old, but well-kept, and you knew that the apartments were way bigger than in a place like yours.

Opening the door for you, Baekhyun invited you into the dark hallway of his apartment. There were no lights, as every wall had doors to other rooms: two to the left, one at the end of the corridor, and two more to the right, perfectly symmetric.

“Kitchen, my office, bathroom, my bedroom, and the living room,” the man told you, starting from the left. One glance into the living room on the right made you realize just how big the rooms were; enormous, in your honest opinion, with the area of something around a classroom at school, but with ceilings that reached far up, almost twice higher than in your own place. Heavy curtains hung from the top of the tall windows like limp branches of a willow tree, giving the most dramatic effect, and – likely – gathering tons of dust throughout their lifetime. Wooden, carved furniture added to the effect, and you, in all your sincerity, would not dare to ask how much such a set cost, although it would be a lie to say that you weren’t curious. Wooden panels on the floor were already worn and grey, giving you a thought that the interiors were kept in this particular shape for long years before Baekhyun began to reside in there.

“That’s huge,” you only uttered. Your eyes rested on a painting in the middle of a wall on the left side of the room, above an eclectic-green, velvet couch, in front of which was a wooden coffee table, and which gave a perfect sight into an old TV on the side of the room, as it was one of the old-styled, small models that would be hard to look at from the distance between one wall and the other. The painting looked old, but you wondered from the distance, whether it was not just printed in good quality, with all the details of lights, people and nature making it look like a piece of national heritage rather than a small private property. It portrayed a battle scene coming to an end, warriors in shining armor stained with blood resting upon trees and a small pond of pinkish water, at either sunset or sunrise – you weren’t sure.

“You like it?” He caught your stare and followed it, giving himself a few seconds to adore the painting as well, as though he hadn’t looked at it enough despite living here.

“It’s too violent,” you decided after a moment. “But it’s nice to look at.”

“It’s not that violent in itself, I think. But it does conjure the thought of it.”

He left the living room with you still in the doorframe, staying to look at the painting just for a few more seconds. When you turned around, he was entering the kitchen – this room also looked old, but less well kept; it was cleaned up perfectly, however the furniture was shabby, with the surfaces often partly rubbed off and grey; this room simply screamed for renovation. But you felt way more at ease with the fact that it looked similar to yours – the one that was over twenty years old when you moved with and you had no way of changing it without getting in trouble with the landlord. And not like you’d want to do it at all, since you’d move out right after your studies anyway. The only difference was that you tried to make your apartment look a bit warmer with colorful lights and other cheap ornaments here and there, while Baekhyun’s kitchen was just left as it was, as though he gave up on it the moment he moved in.

“Hungry?”

“Not much.” You were still full of the freshly consumed beer.

Out of the fridge, Baekhyun took a bag of half-eaten potato chips. You stared at him with your eyebrow raised as he ate a few of these, and then extended the bag towards you, to which you only shook your head and he put the bag back in the fridge. He caught your look.

“Food moths,” he explained. You slowly nodded in understanding. That’d be a useful tip if you ever got those. The summer was slowly coming; soon, your small apartment would also be filled with bugs, and fruit flies, mosquitos, and sciarids because you kept a few plants in (discovering that sciarids and fruit flies were not the same thing was an important step in achieving perfect harmony in your adulthood).

You sat awkwardly by the table, observing him as he reached for the bag he must have left on the counter before he went to pick you up, and took out leftovers – probably from work – putting them back in the fridge.

“You worked today?” you asked.

“Yeah, just an average thing, a strategic meeting with co-workers. My working hours are not regular, so I didn’t really know I was gonna be out today.”

Once he was done, he sat by the table as well, and you leaned a bit forward, resting your chin on top of your hand.

“You could have postponed it with me, you must be tired,” you said.

“Don’t worry, I’d rather have a chance to relax with you.”

That didn’t sound as innocent as he probably tried to make it, and he looked over his shoulder to make sure he didn’t scare you with the choice of words. You only laughed awkwardly.

“Anyway. Since, as I said, I don’t want to intimidate you, I think we’ll stay in the living room since you seemed content with that,” he spoke casually.

“So, no playroom?” you uttered. Baekhyun choked on the chip in his mouth.

“I don’t own such a place. I just usually use the bedroom. Or the bathroom,” he explained.

“Or the office?” you felt bold enough to suggest, giving him a small smirk.

“No, I assure you the office is for what offices usually are.”

You smiled innocently as Baekhyun stared at you, probably trying to mask sudden shyness.

“Either way,” he cleared his throat. “I told you some about what I want to do, but you haven’t told me if there’s anything you’re interested in trying out. I assume you did see some things, so… Is there anything that you’ve been particularly interested in?”

The harmless way in which he phrased the question absolutely didn’t change the fact that he was, basically, asking what kind of porn you watch.

“I uh… I like watching different things, just out of curiosity, but I’m not really sure if there’s anything I like particularly more than other things… I suppose bondage is the biggest basic.” You tried, you really tried to sound neutral, but your voice trembled a little. “But I’m not really sure, to be honest. I’m quite open-minded, I suppose…” You felt silly; how could you not be able to answer the most basic question – what do you like? But Baekhyun seemed to understand that very well, as he only nodded slowly.

“What about, let’s say, pet play?” You blushed slightly. “You know what I’m talking about? I feel like a lot of young women start from there.” It took you a moment to realize that you, too, were a young woman. “Behavioral training. Humiliation. Regression. A bit of pain, if suitable. Trying out a few things to see how you respond. What do you think?”

“I think it may be fun” you said slowly. “Does it have something to do with the…?” you motioned your neck, hoping he’ll get the cue. You remembered the collars the other people wore – they were the main reason you got interested in the first place, after all. Baekhyun smiled, catching on your observation.

“Sometimes, but not necessarily. It’s just a thing I like. Do you?”

“…I may,” you answered carefully.

“Gotcha. We may try it out. You know, everyone is different. The collars are different too. I usually order them after I’m sure the person’s gonna stay, and when I know what type will be the most suitable for them. I can’t do that for you yet, but I have some spare items.”

“Do you have the ones of people who you’re not with anymore?” you asked, out of pure curiosity.

Baekhyun was silent for a moment.

“I do. But I’d rather not use them. They’re there for memory, not for use.”

“Gotcha. I was just curious,” you quickly explained.

“Do you have a safe-word?” Baekhyun’s gaze rested on you.

“…Not really. Never needed one,” you uttered sheepishly.

“You have anything on your mind?”

“Um, the… thing with lights? The red light, yellow and green?” you proposed carefully.

“That’s a good one. Tell me how you understand them.”

“So, the green one means everything’s alright, the yellow is when we need to slow down, and the red stops the scene,” you recited, as if you were reading from a book.

“That’s right. It’s easy to remember, so we can go with that.” You bit on your lips to prevent yourself from getting too excited with the apparent praise; it wasn’t anything big, of course – but you felt as though it was a praise in itself, being acknowledged for saying something right. “Another thing is that I need you to know a few rules, before we start.” You were all ears. “First, I don’t want you to be reluctant for the fun of it. Whether you want to be a brat later or not, today we’re just trying things out and I don’t want to mistake your attitude with actual discomfort, do you understand?” You nodded slowly, memorizing the words and waiting for him to continue. “Second. No pain that I will impose on you will be a matter of punishment, unless I specify so. If you don’t enjoy it, you need to tell me so. It doesn’t mean I’ll stop right away, unless – of course – you use the safe-word. However, I still expect honesty. During, as well as after the scene, when we review it. Do you understand?” The breaks in between the points gave you enough time to acknowledge the information and encode it in your memory. You nodded once again. “And for the last. Do you trust me?”

The tone made you look up at him, finally focusing on his person rather than the words alone.

“I do,” you finally decided; knowing very well what this answer would lead to.

Baekhyun’s eyes sparkled as he smiled at you warmly.

“Well then, shall we start?”

* * *

You stand in the middle of the room, the cardigan and shoes are off, your feet feel cold against the floor despite socks wrapped around them comfortingly.

Don’t move a finger, you’ve been told, and so, you stare at the painting before you, the warrior in the front staring at you back with contempt you haven’t noticed before.

Your breath trembles in anticipation as you try to hear sounds from other rooms – you do hear some shuffling, but nothing that you can figure out for sure. He must be in his bedroom, you think. What is he preparing? Which tools out of many that you’ve seen on the screen of your phone all these nights that, despite spending perfect eight hours in bed, did not end in getting perfect eight hours of sleep?

Your arm itches, but you fight the urge to scratch it; be obedient, he said.

Steps echo in the corridor and you hold your breath. Your head snaps to the side the moment you hear him enter the room again.

“Eyes down,” he commands without sparing you a glance; you haven’t had enough time to see what he brought, but you instantly obey his words. “Don’t look at me unless I allow you to.” His voice is stern, and it makes your stomach clench nervously. But it’s not a bad sensation, not at all – you grow excited. “Down. On your knees.”

You try to comply, but he still scoffs at your apparent sluggishness. You almost fall over as you let your knees bend and you finally kneel down as well as you can, eyes facing down as well, although you feel awkward as you do so.

“On your toes,” Baekhyun commands; something small but hard hits your heels, startling you, and your head whips around to see a wooden pointing stick. You swallow the gasp of surprise at the sight.

You fix your posture, your toes instantly begin to cramp; that’s uncomfortable, and your toes aren’t too flexible, it seems.

“Straighten your back. You’re slouching.”

The task turns out almost impossible to do, the whole weight lands on your toes and you frown in discomfort.

“Is it necessary…?”

“Look at me.” It feels unnatural to do so now, but you oblige, turning your head to the side where he stands. “What’s wrong?”

“My toes hurt,” you admit quietly. Baekhyun watches you for a moment.

“Straighten them. Kneel as you did before.” You bite your lips and nod, uttering a small thank you that you find suitable enough as the position gets a bit more comfortable. “Back. Straighten.”

You automatically snap back into the position. But it does feel a bit silly – like something your teachers would say, don’t slouch! A laughter comes out at the comparison, but you attempt to stifle it.

Apparently, not well enough.

The pointer hits the nape of your neck; not too hard, but the message gets through.

Baekhyun stands in front of you and, most likely, stares you down – you can’t tell; your gaze is fixated on his lacquered shoes. The shoes then move, kicking the middle of your thighs.

“Spread.”

You feel a bit awkward as you oblige this command; you only glance down to make sure your pants aren’t ripped – you never know. To your relief, they’re not. Then you try to glance forward – but, what’s in front of you, makes you more shy than anything, so you just fix your gaze on his knees instead.

“You’re slouching again.”

“Pets often do,” you note before you manage to bite your tongue; you do remember your conversation from before – wasn’t it what he was aiming for? You thought so at first. But the words were not thought through at all; you just felt a need to say something, anything, just like you’d talk back to a teacher when they became too annoying in their remarks.

You hold your breath as Baekhyun crouches down to your level.

You feel his eyes on you, and you unwittingly tremble under his gaze, forcing yourself to look even lower, not daring to break the rule. The seconds seem to last hours as he doesn’t speak a word – and he doesn’t have to. You feel intimidated.

“You want to be a pet?”

He stands up; he’s right in front of you, if you so much as leaned forward a little bit, your forehead would touch his thigh. You slightly crave the touch; but not enough to move, not when you grow petrified. The question is rhetorical. You wait for him to finish the thought.

“Then I’ll treat you like one.”

Without waiting for your reaction, he steps behind you. You hear shuffling in what had to be a box placed behind your back; you see nothing.

But you hear the harsh, recognizable clink of metal and your stomach drops.

* * *

Please, reblog if you enjoyed, it'll help me a bunch!

Author's note: Hello, have you missed me??? I'm sorry it took so long to upload, it's hard to find time among exams I had in June, and now my (first) new job! The next chapter is already being written, so hopefully, won't take that long. Remember to reblog if you liked, and I'll be really happy to hear what you have to say about this so far. Stay safe!

Next (Chapter 4.)

[hatboyproject]

Here we can see an old version of FaceFX (Specifically the standalone app included with the Dragon Age: Origins modding toolkit successfully animating a line of my custom audio. The problems: - This is not a Mass Effect model, this is a program default - The phoneme system ME uses is different from this - I can't get this version of FaceFX to successfully import an AnimSet or Actor from Mass Effect - Any exported AnimSet from this exercise is not in a format FFXE can read, and it wouldn't know what to do with the curves anyway So, I set about obtaining an old-ass (2014) deployment of Unreal Developer's Kit and started messing around in the integrated FaceFX app there. Problem is, I have no idea what I'm doing still don't think the version numbers are correct for what it needs, and UDK is importing meshes with valid rigging information, but no defined blendshapes for the mouth. Any attempt to import FXA sets to UDK from Mass Effect causes an app crash. In short... it sees the skeleton, but it doesn't know what FaceFX wants it to do. Phonemes (the mouth shapes) are basically shorthand for a set of instructions on how the bones should move. It needs the information telling it what those shorthands, m_EE and m_Jaw+ etc mean for the skeleton, basically. Without that, it just sits there. I have a few things to try, here, before I just give up. 1. If I can get UDK to import a core PCC file from Mass Effect with everything set up and linked as it should be, the AnimSets and phoneme information may be there. I should then be able to use that information to generate new lines animations. 2. DA:O uses similar phoneme mapping to Mass Effect 2 and 3. If I can get the DA:O standalone FaceFX to import a DA:O FaceFX Actor, I may then be able to reverse-engineer what I need to manually recreate that in the UDK version. (It's actually a lot harder than it seems to get the DA:O modding toolkit to successfully do anything with its own assets, but that's an essay by itself!) 3. I can painstakingly and highly experimentally recreate a FaceFX AnimSet by using the Mass Effect toolset to create FXAs that have one phoneme per file. From time mark 0 to time mark 1 second, the phoneme will go from 0 to 1 in value. I can then export that file to an Excel Curve and see if I can get the Rotation Values that way. Then I may be able to manually reverse engineer the phoneme mapping. 4. Expire in a graceless cloud of billowing ash, like slain Dark Souls boss I'm trying so hard and throwing in all my brainpower towards figuring out how to solve this, because if I can find out what it needs to get it working, it will mean my workload will be drastically reduced, and one of the largest hurdles for new dialogue mods will be eliminated. The barrier for entry could be reduced to a fiddly program setup tutorial instead of a crash course on animation theory. It will open the door to a ton of stuff for a ton of modders. CONSEQUENTLY IF ANYONE AT BIOWARE SEES THIS AND FEELS LIKE EMAILING ME A .FXE AND/OR THE PHONEME/CURVE MAP FOR MASS EFFECT 3 PLEASE HIT ME UP I SWEAR I CAN KEEP A SECRET PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THIS SUFFERING it's fine, we're fine

[allora-the-booty-slayer]

Fun discoveries in ACNH

hi, I never post things, also sorry in advance if some of this is stuff someone has already said, or stuff that was in older games, I’m going in mostly blind, and new leaf was my first game

Here are some discoveries for the new game that I’ve found while playing, as of march 21st! I figure this may be helpful to some people, since there probably aren’t many full guides out yet. 

if you plant a fruit or flower or sapling in the wrong spot, you can dig it back up while it is still in the sapling/first phase without destroying it! When you do, it will turn into “Nursery X” and can be replanted. This does not require you to eat a fruit

Money trees can be planted, but only in a very specific way. you must find the glowing spot in the ground, dig it up, and then re-plant the money bag in the glowing spot again. The location is probably inconvenient, but that’s ok! the money tree follows the same rules for other saplings above, so it can be moved immediately after planting and turning into a sapling

Time travel does work, and appears to have no penalties (as long as you’re only going one or two days at a time) however, to do so, you have to close the game entirely, and change the switch’s clock settings, and disconnect from the internet. This could have adverse effects on other games, so beware. I have not tested TTing when not on airplane mode, so try at your own risk.

you can do minor sequence breaking if you have a friend who has access to all the tool crafting! This is more helpful to people who started the game late, or who do not want to time travel. as long as you know someone who can craft tools (specifically the pole and ladder, but any tool will work) your friend can craft a spare, and give it to the newer player. anyone can use the tool, as long as they have it in their inventory. do keep in mind though, that most tools break, so maybe only use this for the exploration tools, since those do not have durability. 

this one isn’t confirmed, but supposedly it takes a long time to get terraforming tools, so try to work without them. I’m on “day 4″ (I've been time traveling back and forth, so my timeline is a bit of a mess) and I don’t think I’m anywhere close to it

the mini islands do completely reset each time, so it’s completely safe to destroy them

the DIY recipes in the bottle can be anything, including recipes you are given in the tutorial. you can sell them though, so don’t worry.

placing a custom design on the walls of your house overrides the windows, and gets rid of them. I’m not sure how to fix this, but it’s something to be aware of

transparency DOES NOT WORK on clothing items. when creating using pro codes, the option is not there, and when “wearing” a normal custom design with transparency, the transparent sections turn white. if you plan on making clothing with cutouts or skin colored sections, you will still have to color match

speaking of pro designs, some clothing items have seamlines, some don’t. keep that in mind when creating clothes with cutouts/skin sections

That’s all I’ve found for now, but please feel free to add on anything else you find, especially if it’s a “small” thing. also, please no shaming anyone for using or not using any of these tips. not everyone is able to play the same way, or for the same amount of time, and this game is all about having fun, and going at the pace you want. 

[lesbianrobin]

Would you mind sharing how to get specific colors in the background? I’m pretty new to gif making and I haven’t figured out how people get the exact shades in color palette sets. When I make the backgrounds colorful I use the Color Balance tool but there are only a few shades you can get with that, how can I get different shades? Thank you in advance!!

of course! explanation under da cut

there are a lot of different ways to adjust color in photoshop! the main things that'll help you with color palette edits are: selective color, hue/saturation, paint layers, color balance, and sometimes gradient maps. i’ll briefly explain all of them in this post!

layer masks can also really help when you want some of those adjustments to only apply to certain parts of your gifs. here’s a quick layer mask guide in case you’re unfamiliar. they’re especially helpful for adjusting the colors in a background without ruining the skin tones of any people in your gif, or for making minor adjustments to skin tone without impacting the rest of your coloring in the process.

before i do any coloring, i always paste my color palette over my gif! (if you don't know how to make your palette into an image, i explained my method here, although some people might find it tedious and you may know a better way lmao) anyway i just use file -> open as -> select my palette image, then copy it and paste it over the gif like this:

which helps me get to this knowing that my colors match as well as possible:

or, if i’m just trying to get one color, i’ll create a new layer and just draw a little dot of that color over it, like this:

which helps me get to this:

obviously you can make these reference layers as small or large as you want, move them around as you edit, etc. sometimes i’ll delete them early on in my coloring process because i feel like i’ve got a good grasp of my palette and the obstruction is annoying me, but they’re really helpful if you’re having a hard time matching colors precisely, and you can just delete them at the end :)

so, on to actually coloring! while paint layers might be a more popular and foolproof method of getting an Exact Color, i personally like to start with the "selective color" and "hue/saturation" layers when i do color palette gifs, then i'll expand into paint layers, "color balance," and "gradient map" layers if i need to.

you already know color balance, so i'll just quickly identify the other adjustment layer icons for you:

red is hue/saturation, blue is selective color, and yellow is gradient map.

hue/saturation and selective color work more or less the same way that color balance does, but they let you adjust the values of specific colors in the gif rather than adjusting the entire gif like in a color balance layer. i used them to color the steve gif above! selective color is best for adjusting your colors exactly how you want them (you can make all of your yellows just a bit more orange, for example, or turn them all full-on magenta), and hue/saturation specifically lets you adjust both the brightness and the saturation of a specific color in your gif (like adjusting all your reds, or your cyans, or your magentas), which can really help with dialing in the exact shade that you want. they use sliders just like color balance, so you should be able to use them pretty well already!! don’t be afraid to use multiple layers. sometimes i’ll end up having three or more selective color layers, or i’ll have a color balance and a hue/saturation and a selective color and then another hue/saturation, etc etc. you can use a bunch of different layers together to achieve the look you want!

however, sometimes it’s really difficult or even impossible to use these tools to achieve the color you want without making your gif super pixelated and ugly. that’s when i use paint layers and gradient maps!

paint layers can make gifs that look like this:

and i’m gonna link the tutorial i learned from because i feel weird like. delivering this information as if i discovered it when i didn’t. like most of this other stuff i just figured out yknow skjncdm but since i don’t use paint layers a ton and i actually remember the exact tutorial i learned from, i’m just gonna link it. so yeah. on to the last!

gradient maps can make gifs that look like this:

where you just replace every color in the gif with ur own gradient. i’ll often use them at a sort of last resort if i can’t get my colors quite right and the gif is moving too much to use a paint layer, because you can put exact hex codes into your gradient!

this is what the gradient map layer looks like!! when you click on whatever default gradient it gives you in the “properties” tab, it’ll open the “gradient editor” window. in this window, you can add and subtract as many points along the gradient as you want. i usually like to put a pure white on one end and a pure black on the other, then fill in with my palette colors between the two (though you don’t Need the white and black if you don’t want them). generally speaking, it works best to arrange your colors darkest to lightest or lightest to darkest, but you can play around and see what you like.

see how i have the “reverse” box checked in the properties tab? that just flips the direction of the gradient, so if your gradient was red -> blue where darker=reds and lighter=blues, you could check that box and it would flip so lighter=reds and darker=blues. sometimes if a gradient you’ve put in isn’t working, you can try checking/unchecking that box and see if you like it better the other way.

now let’s take a closer look at the gradient itself.

as you can see, the colors aren’t evenly spaced along the gradient. you can slide them around however you want to achieve the desired effect! in this case, i wanted the yellow/red to be the dominant colors in the gif, so they take up the majority of the gradient. those little diamonds are “color midpoints” as you can see in the image above. they’ll pop up when you click on one of your color boxes. you can also slide those around to further customize your gradient.

just like with all of the adjustment layers, i really recommend playing around with gradient maps to get a feel for what they can do and whether you like them or not!! 

i think that’s about it? if you have any other questions just let me know, and if you use any of the stuff i talked about to make gifs, i’d love to see them <3

[hyliandude]

Learning Music Log - Day 1:

I am someone that has never played an instrument, never been part of band, never even known how to start. For the past year I’ve been fascinated with Lo-Fi music, so I figured I’d try making some myself. Again, with no experience in anything myself, I figured I’d need some tools to make electronic music. An old friend of mine from high school had some songs signed and sold through Beatport, and I remember him using FL Studio at home. Just messing around with the tools was interesting to watch, but the interface and process always intimidated me.

Another artist I follow on my art blog, Artem Solop, is also big into making his own electronic music and beats. Although I do not know him personally, I have always liked his style. The unique thing about his method, is that he utilizes his Nintendo DS and Switch as instruments. Synths, Compressors, and Drum Machines have always intrigued me, but I could never tell one thing from the other, and here was this guy using them from his Nintendo consoles to make something sounds good. Cables routed from one system to another – how does he do it?

I figured I’d plunge in headfirst – well, as “headfirst” as I could while still adhering to baby steps…I know the hobby can be expensive if left unchecked.

I bought KORG Gadget for Nintendo Switch about 2 weeks ago to start this journey – an inexpensive grab through Amazon for just 30$. I have no idea what it is, but it’s what Artem seems to use in his videos. The tool is described as such:

-Robust music composition/production tools in a compact cartridge

-Simple to use and easy to understand; anyone can create music anywhere and everywhere

-16 different synthesizer and drum machine gadgets with additional DLC gadgets available

-Gadgets have retro-inspired tactile control knobs that you can turn by rotating the Joy-Con controllers

And to be honest, it did not disappoint. It was a great way to wrap my mind around the synths, tracks, and “scenes” as they are laid out in the simple to use interface. I was determined to begin this journey in a self-taught, but organized manner. I had googled a few things before starting anything:

1. Simple music theory – I had no idea that notes/scales determine how well something sounds. A lot of you may think that that’s obvious, but again, my music knowledge started in 4th grade with a mandatory recorder recital and ended with the 5 colors on the guitar hero guitar. At the most basic level, I learned that scales could be set (C Major, A minor, etc.) and most tools used to create music (a digital audio workstation, or DAW for short) had a setting to allow “helpers” that would highlight keys in any given scale. From there on, I figured out that experimenting and playing randomly sounded better if I followed the scale guidelines.

2. How different chords on a piano/keyboard evoke different emotions depending on what scale you’re in. Major chord happy. Minor chord sad.

3. After talking to my fiancé (a former band geek that played flute!) I also learned that the concept of “chords” did not apply to the flute, so I also realized how different instruments were from one another…

Aside from those few things, I didn’t really look into anything else before attempting to ‘craft’ a song on the Switch.

Immediately, I could tell that the different synth gadgets varied and specialized in different things. The Marseille gadget had some great piano, electric piano, and orchestral instrument presets; the Helsinki gadget was great at ambient/relaxing sounds; the London drum gadget was great at…well…drum sounds and beats! Each of the city inspired gadgets brought something unique to the table. The Switch’s controls were intuitive. Copying and pasting, moving notes, playing tracks vs. just playing scenes was something that I was able to pick up in around 30 minutes without even ‘sniffing’ the user guide. By messing around I actually learned more about notes, half beats, and chord progressions all on my own.

Before I knew it, I had crafted a song that was about 3 minutes long. Deep, ambient intro, catchy simple melody, and the typical ‘lo-fi’ drums set to 79 BPM. I was impressed at how good it sounded. I knew there were things I was messing up, or could probably do better, but I was still proud of it.

Hopping on to YouTube I found a TON of tutorials covering music theory, lo-fi beat making lessons, “dos and don’ts”, best plugins for DAWs and more. Before long, I invested in an AKAI Professional MPK Mini Play USB MIDI Keyboard controller (hastily, as it seems like the Arturia Minilab might have been a better grab? Lmk), got set up with a subscription to Melodics HQ to learn the basics of playing a keyboard, and installed FL Studio on my computer. After a week of using the Korg Gadget on Switch, I found that FL Studio had a bunch of the same principals in its interface, and I found myself digging in with minimal research into how to use the tool.

By purchasing the Korg Gadgets online, I was able to continue using the same tools I was already familiar with on the Switch inside of FL Studio’s more robust interface.

I was able to recreate the song I made on the Switch in FL Studio. This was a great way to familiarize myself with the tool in an almost step-by-step tutorial I had already made for myself.

After I had gotten a grip with using FL Studio at a basic level, I decided to try mirroring some Lo-fi beat YouTube tutorial videos. To my surprise, I found myself not really liking the final product, even after following the instructor’s guidelines. I don’t think I am a fan of “oh you NEED to do this and this for it to be a good song”. I do think that a basic understanding of music theory is key before even starting, but I don’t know how I feel about new and upcoming musicians following strict rules about how something should sound when it’s literally an art form used for expression and fun.

I was happier with the first song I made just messing around on my Switch than the song I made trying to emulate a Lo-fi beat guided by a professional producer on YouTube… and it got me thinking…I think Giorgio Moroder was right in that one Daft Punk song:

“Once you free your mind about a concept of

Harmony and of music being correct

You can do whatever you want

So nobody told me what to do

And there was no preconception of what to do”

I’m looking forward to learning more – after all, it’s only been a few days!

-Franco

[ryqoshay]

Happy Life: Fallen Angel vs. Little Demon

Primary Pairing: YohaRiko Words: ~3.4k Rating: G AU: Angelic? Time Frame: Between Riko’s 2nd and 3rd year and Yohane’s 1st and 2nd year of high school Story Arc: Stand Alone

----------

Author’s Note: Inspired by a somewhat recent SIFAS Daily Theater translation. I will link to said translation in the follow up post.

----------

A knock sounded at the door.

Riko quickly shoved the doujin she had been reading under her pillow. “Yes?” She responded, grabbing some sheet music from nearby on her bed.

“Riko, dear.” Mrs. Sakurauchi said, as she opened the door. “Your friend, Yohane-chan, was it?”

“Yoshiko-chan?”

“I believe she left this.”

Riko recognized the device in her mother’s hand as Yoshiko’s phone and sighed. “Yes, that’s hers.”

“I tried calling her mother already, but it seems she was called in to work and is unable to get ahold of her daughter to tell her.”

“I see…”

“So, I was hoping you could bring it to her?”

“Me?”

“I’m not sure how else to get it to her, or even tell her that it’s here.”

Riko sighed. Perhaps some of the fallen angel’s luck rubbed off on her. It was probably bound to happen at some point or another, what with the two of them spending more time together as of late.

“Alright.” Riko agreed, sliding off her bed.

As she made her way down the stairs to the front entryway, Riko considered the events leading up to her needing to deliver the forgotten item. Yesterday, she had noticed Yoshiko a bit out of sorts, even for the purported fallen angel. In an effort to cheer up her friend, Riko had offered to have her come over to visit Prelude. Thankfully, the tactic had worked well. Yoshiko had perked up immediately and had been quite enthusiastic in her time with the young dog.

The three went for a walk before returning to Riko’s home for a warm meal prepared by her mother. From there, the two girls watched a movie together, while Prelude spent the entire show curled up in Yoshiko’s lap.

At some point, Riko had noticed the time and wondered aloud if Yoshiko would be able to make the last bus back to Numazu. Yoshiko was confused by the question and had to check the schedule. Riko had wondered if the younger girl had bothered to check the schedule earlier. To Yoshiko’s dismay, she had already missed her bus. Thus, Riko had ended up offering to let her stay for the night and pulled out the guest futon.

After another movie, the two turned in for the night. Riko had noted, with a bit of jealousy, that Prelude chose to sleep on Yoshiko’s futon instead of Riko’s bed or her own dog bed. In the morning they went for another walk and enjoyed a quick breakfast before Yoshiko headed back home. Unfortunately, without her phone, it would seem.

At least it was early enough in the day that Riko wouldn’t have the same problem returning home as Yoshiko did yesterday, she thought as she took a seat in the bus.

----------

“Ah, Riko-chan.” A voice called from behind her.

Riko startled and spun. “Oh, uhm… M-Mrs. Tsushima.” She said upon recognizing the blue-haired woman. “I thought… My mother said you were at work?”

Yoshiko’s mother paused for a moment. “Oh dear, I believe there must have been a miscommunication. I said I was on my way home from work. It was just a minor emergency that I was able to address quickly before returning.”

“Oh, well… I came to bring Yoshiko-chan’s phone.”

“Yes, I figured as such. That was very kind of you. My daughter should be grateful to have such good friends. Elsewise she would have had to retrieve her lost belongings on her own.”

“She’s helped me in many ways as well.” Riko said, remembering the events leading to her getting past her fear of dogs.

Mrs. Tsushima smiled. “Well as thanks for today, why don’t I make something for lunch, if you don’t mind eating a little early, or later, if you intend to stay for a little while.”

“I can stay for a little while.” Riko said. “I don’t have any other plans until later this afternoon.”

Mrs. Tsushima nodded and let them into the complex. Inside, they took the elevator up several floors and walked down the hall to the Tsushima apartment.

“My daughter is likes to stream when she is home on the weekend.” Mrs. Tsushima explained as they removed their shoes in the entry. “So she’s probably in her room.”

“Thank you.” Riko nodded and headed toward her friend’s room. Streaming? She thought to herself. Perhaps she shouldn’t stay until lunch. She was about to interrupt Yoshiko’s session and wanted to keep the interference to a minimum if possible.

Upon arriving, she knocked on the door. No response. She knocked again.

“Yeah, Mama, c’mon in.” a voice called from within.

“Uhm, actually, it’s…” Riko started as she opened the door.

“Wha?!” Yoshiko startled from her seat at her desk. “Riri?!” She dropped the controller she had been holding. In her attempts to catch it, she fumbled, causing it ricochet off the edge of the desk and hit her in the face as she leaned forward. “Kyaa!” She cried, recoiling in such a way that her chair spun, and she slid off onto the floor. “Ughn….” She groaned.

“Yoshiko-chan!” Riko rushed forward and knelt beside the younger girl. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m…” Yoshiko pushed herself up enough to see her screen and sighed. “I lost…”

“Lost?”

“My match.” Yoshiko accepted Riko’s hand and pulled herself up to her feet.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Yoshiko shook her head before smiling strangely. “Though perhaps as punishment, Yohane should have Riri play a match.”

“Eh? Me?”

“Kidding.” Yoshiko chuckled. “Unless…”

As Yoshiko straightened her skirt and halo, Riko turned to the screen. Sure enough, the words “You Lose” were displayed in English overlaying a camera slowly orbiting what Riko assumed to be the two competitors in the match. The one on the ground was surely Yoshiko’s character and the one posing was whoever had won.

There was also a flood of text scrolling up the side of the screen.

“Eh?” Riko blinked as she recognized her name among the scrolling text. Or rather, Yoshiko’s nickname for her, accompanied by a myriad of emojis and other icons she didn’t readily recognize.

“Hey!” Yoshiko suddenly said, leaning forward toward the camera. “What have I told you all about Riri? Only Yohane is allowed to use that name bestowed upon one of her favored little demons.”

For some reason, Riko wasn’t surprised when the text sped up and the frequency of her nickname being typed increased.

Yoshiko growled something Riko didn’t understand but retrieved her controller and took her seat again. “Sorry, Riri, the horde sometimes doesn’t listen to their mistress when they get too excited.”

“And they’re excited… to see me?”

“Of course!” Yoshiko grinned. “Who wouldn’t be excited to see someone as wonderful as Riri?”

Riko felt heat rise in her cheeks. “A-and they know about me and that… nickname?”

“Well yeah, Yohane takes great pleasure in telling her little demons about those she favors most, such that some may ascribe to ascend to such greatness as well someday.”

Riko couldn’t help wondering what sort of details about her friends Yoshiko might share with her followers. Hopefully nothing too private. Still, despite the embarrassment, she couldn’t deny that it did make her feel good that Yoshiko held her in such high regard.

“A-anyway, you forgot this at my place this morning, Yoshiko-chan.” Riko held out the phone.

“Wahhh!? I didn’t even realize!” Yoshiko grabbed the device. “Thank you, Riri! Thank you!” She paused for a moment, apparently realizing she had once again dropped her persona. She cleared her throat. “And as a token of gratitude, Yohane shall rescind the punishment.”

“I thought you were just kidding about that.”

“Well… the horde seemed to think it was a good idea.” Yoshiko admitted, jutting a chin toward the screen. “But Yohane doesn’t want to force one of her favored little demons to do something she doesn’t want to do.”

“I never said I didn’t want to.” Riko pointed out. “I was just a little surprised by the offer. And, I’ve never played a game like that before, so I’m not sure how good I would be.”

“It’s not a matter of how good you are.” Yoshiko said, pulling open a drawer from her desk where she retrieved a second controller. “It’s about having fun.” She handed the device to Riko.

“Oh, uhm… alright.” Riko accepted the controller.

“Go ahead and grab that chair.” Yoshiko motioned in the general direction. “I’ll get things set up for a local game.”

Riko nodded, slid the chair next to the other girl and sat down.

“Alright, quick rundown of the controls.” Yoshiko indicated each button, named it function and added a small tutorial about combo moves.

Riko swallowed down her nervousness, telling herself it was little different than being on stage in front of an audience. Except the audience was watching through a camera. So maybe it was more like a PV? Except it was live. So… somewhere in between?

“Yohane shall go easy on Riri for the first couple matches.” Yoshiko said as she selected a character, an angelic girl with one black and one white wing. “Oh, the next guy over is a good beginner character.” Yoshiko pointed toward Riko’s selection.

“Alright.” Riko made her choice of a muscular man with classic anime-esque spiked hair and a very strange sword.

“Ku ku ku.” Yohane chortled. “Fallen Angel Yohane verses Little Demon Riri! Heaven or Hell! Dual 1!” She intoned, mimicking the game’s announcer surprisingly well. “Let’s Rock!”

Riko fumbled through her first combo and was disappointed when Yohane blocked the first blow and followed up with a counter. Yoshiko giggled and tripped Riko before backing off.

“This is Riri’s first match, so of course Yohane is going easy.” Yoshiko said. “I thought I already made that clear.”

Riko assumed she was responding to something she saw in the endlessly scrolling chat but wondered how the other girl was able to read it while concentrating on the game.

Riko made another attempt to attack and got a little excited when the first two hits managed to connect. But, no surprise, Yoshiko turned things around quickly and delivered a devastating combo that wiped out more than half of Riko’s health bar. Riko grunted and attacked again, only to be countered yet again.

“Slash!” the game and Yoshiko said in unison.

“But…” Riko started to protest.

“Yohane said she would go easy.” Yoshiko explained as though reading Riko’s mind. “But she didn’t say she would just let Riri win. And besides, that was just Round 1. Oh, here we go…”

Round 2 proceeded in a similar manner to Round 1 and it wasn’t long until the overall match was won by Yoshiko.

“So, do you wanna keep using that guy or try someone else?” Yoshko inquired as the character selection screen came back up. “Oh, you can also choose alternate costumes by using different buttons.”

“I see.” Riko took note. “I think I will use him a little while longer, until I learn more.”

“Alright.” Yoshiko nodded. “Well, I’m going to change things up and use her.” She moved her selection box to a short girl wielding a ship’s anchor as big as her. “She’s one of the hoard’s favorites.”

The second match, not surprisingly, went about the same as the first. However, Riko did find herself highly amused by the colorful sea animals that appeared during the special moves Yoshiko used. She could see why the audience liked that character.

Then it happened.

Riko’s eyes widened as a huge pink whale, breached across the screen to crash down over her character, along with a tidal wave of water. The remainder of Riko’s health bar was destroyed and the match was over.

Hearts, whales and other emojis flooded the chat and Yoshiko giggled.

“Heh, managed to actually pull it off again.” Yoshiko said with a toothy smile, seeming to forget her fallen angel persona again.

“What was that?” Riko asked.

“One of her super moves.” Yoshiko explained.

“It was very… cute.”

“I know, right?”

“Even if I did take a lot of damage from it.”

“Well, again, it is one of her super moves.”

“Can I try her next?”

“Of course!” Yoshiko excitedly turned her controller toward Riko. “It’s not the most complex combo, but I sometimes struggle to get the timing right when in active play.” She demonstrated the button sequence.

Riko nodded, selected the anchor-wielding girl and the next match began.

----------

“Oh, is that the time?” Riko asked, happening to notice Yoshiko’s alarm clock out of the corner of her eye.

“Hm?” Yoshiko turned her attention to where Riko was looking. “Oh… heh… I guess we have been playing a while, haven’t we? Time flies like an angel when you’re having fun, huh?”

“Mm…” Riko nodded.

The two girls had been playing, almost nonstop for over three hours. Riko barely remembered Mrs. Tsushima delivering a lovely, light lunch of mini sandwiches and crudités; easy finger food for gaming, as Yoshiko had described it.

During the session, Riko had started to learn how to skim chat with the side of her vision as her primary focus was on the game. As such, she was eventually able to join in on the conversation. She wasn’t nearly as good as Yoshiko, and missed some things and misunderstood others, much to every else’s amusement. Still, she found that the interaction enhanced the overall experience. And she now had a better understanding as to why Yoshiko loved streaming so much.

“I suppose I should at least get up and stretch a bit.” Yoshiko said, standing and raising her arms above her head.

Riko grimaced as she heard several joints pop.

“Eheh… Sorry, Riri…” Yoshiko offered an amused apology before twisting her shoulders to cause a cacophonous cascade up her spine.

“That… can’t be good for you…” Riko mumbled.

“This mortal shell can get a bit rickety at times.” Yoshiko finished by cracking her neck. “I look forward to resuming our practice sessions as it provides a good reminder to stretch properly. Though I do wonder who will take up Dia’s place as taskmaster.”

Riko chuckled. “She wasn’t that bad.”

“Hrm…” Yoshiko leaned forward to check something on the screen. “Ne, Riri, do you have any plans for dinner?”

“Yes, Chika-chan and I were going to write get some early drafts in so as to possibly have a new song or two before the new school year.”

Was it Riko’s imagination, or did Yoshiko’s expression change, strangely, for the briefest of moments? If she had blinked, she may have missed it.

“Ah. That sounds like fun.” Yoshiko’s normal…? smile returned. “Maybe sometime later.”

“If I may ask, was there something in particular you wanted to do or somewhere you wanted to go?”

Yoshiko pointed to where she had been looking a moment ago. “That’s the total donations I’ve received this stream. It’s more than I normally make. A lot more. And I believe that is because Riri agreed to join us today.” She paused and read several messages affirming her theory. “And I wanted to show my appreciation.”

“I see. Thank you for the offer. Uhm…” Riko reviewed her weekend plans. “Tomorrow night, I’m having dinner with my parents… But I’m free around this time, so…”

“I can do lunch.” Yohshiko offered quickly. “I was going to stream again, but I can move that to any other time.”

“Or we can eat lunch again like we did today.”

Yoshiko blinked. “You… want to stream with me again tomorrow?”

“If you’re alright with that, yes.”

Now that was unquestionably a genuine smile. Yoshiko’s eyes sparkled and her shoulders drew up with excitement. “Of course!” She cried joyously. “Riri is always welcome as a guest… no, better yet, co-host!” She turned to the camera. “Didja hear that everyone!? Riri is gonna come back tomorrow and join us again!”

The chat exploded again with emojis.

Riko couldn’t help smiling as well. It was a little embarrassing being the center of such commotion, but Yoshiko’s excitement was as contagious as it was adorable. And she wanted to see more of it. She liked seeing this side of Yoshiko.

Not that the fallen angel thing was bad or anything, but… Right now, Yoshiko was her happy human self. She wasn’t getting hurt or sick, losing or breaking anything, or anything else the fates decided to torment her with, and make Riko worry about her wellbeing. Yoshiko was happy. And that made Riko happy.

“Anyway, I had a lot of fun today.” Riko said, getting up. “Thank you for that.” She turned to the camera. “See you all tomorrow.” She offered a small parting wave.

“I’ll see you out.” Yoshiko popped up as well. “Be right back, my little demons. Then we’ll see who else is brave enough to face Yohane in combat.”

Still giddy with excitement and bubbling about plans for tomorrow, Yoshiko escorted Riko to the door. From there, Riko bid her farewell to the Tsushima family and headed home for the day.

----------

Riko’s brow furrowed and she grunted in frustration. Another match lost. She sighed and set her controller down on her desk.

Or rather, it was actually Chika’s controller. While the two of them were composing in Chika’s room, Riko had noticed the device and asked if Chika had the game she had played earlier that day.

Chika did not actually own the game but had been able to show Riko where to obtain it for herself, as well as order her own controller. In the meantime, while awaiting delivery, Riko was able to borrow Chika’s device, which Chika also showed her how to pair with her laptop.

So now, several hours later, Riko was practicing for the next day’s stream.

Suddenly, a notification popped up in the lower corner of her screen. Riko leaned forward and moved the cursor to click on it. A new window came up with a message.

Sventa: Greetings

Sventa? Had that been Yoshiko’s screenname? No, Riko was pretty sure it had something to do with a fallen angel. Actually, that literally was her screenname, Riko remembered, TheFallenAngel. Perhaps this was one of her other friends? Maybe Chika? She didn’t have the game, but she had the program through which it was installed and run.

YuriYoukai: Hello

YuriYoukai: Is that you, Chika-chan?

Sventa: No

Sventa: I do not believe we know each other

Sventa: But I am a fan of Yohana-sama’s streams

Sventa: Are you the same little demon Riri that appeared on Yohane-sama’s stream today?

Riko paused, wondering if she should confirm.

Sventa: If you are, I wanted to say that you made for a very fun stream

Sventa: We got to see a rare side of Yohane-sama because of you

Sventa: You are obviously someone she cares for deeply

Sventa: She talks about you and some of her other friends a lot

Well, Yoshiko had admitted as such earlier. Riko wondered again what all Yoshiko talked about with her followers.

Sventa: But this was the first time she’s brought one of you onto her stream

Sventa: And it was fun to see her having so much fun

Sventa: So thank you for that

YuriYoukai: You’re welcome.

Riko wasn’t quite she sure had really done anything worth thanks, and she had fun as well, so… Well, she had thanked Yoshiko herself, so maybe this individual just wanted to do the same.

Sventa: And now you are playing this again

Sventa: Practicing for tomorrow?

YuriYoukai: I didn’t win a single match against Yoshiko-chan

Sventa: That is true

Sventa: But Yohane-sama is an experienced player and you only started playing today

Sventa: Still, I must say you showed great potential

YuriYoukai: I still can’t win now

Sventa: But you are having fun, right?

YuriYoukai: Yes

Sventa: That is good

Sventa: And more important that how good you are or how much you win

Riko chuckled as she remembered Yoshiko saying something similar.

Sventa: Still, perhaps I can offer some advice?

Sventa: The character you used today was my first favorite when I first started playing

Sventa: And I would be happy to recommend some other characters as well

Sventa: Even the one I know Yohane-sama struggles against

Sventa: Perhaps you can catch her off guard

YuriYoukai: There is a character Yoshiko-chan struggles against?

Sventa: The game is a complex set of Rock Paper Scissors, with every character having strengths and weaknesses

Sventa: Some of these strengths can be exploited against the weaknesses of others

YuriYoukai: I see

Sventa: A skilled player can still work around it all and win

Sventa: But if they are not expecting their opponent to know certain things, they will not be ready for them

Sventa: I think it would make for a really fun stream if you were able to surprise Yohane-sama like that

Riko smiled. That did sound like fun.

YuriYoukai: Alright

YuriYoukai: Teach me what you can, Sventa-sensei

The other player invited Riko to a network game and the two started playing.

----------

Author’s Notes Continued in Followup Post

[twstarchives]

Azul Ashengrotto・Voice Lines

Additional Voice Lines

Beans Camo event card

Scary Dress event card

School Uniform - R

Unlock Card “I will support you to the best of my ability, so that you may enjoy your school life here!”

Groovy “Board games are good brain exercises. Would you like to play one?”

Home Setting “Let’s make today count.”

Home Transitions “The students of this school are truly diverse in terms of personality. I’d like to have a great circle of connections.”

“Falling asleep during class is nothing for you to worry about. I will help you before your test. For a price, of course.”

“Now, for today’s board game club activities... What? Did you think ‘Boring!’ to yourself just now?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Were you looking for me? If you’d like to discuss your troubles, I can always make arrangements for that.”

Home Taps “I pride myself on the trust my professors have in me. Above all else, I am very dedicated.”

“School friends are really just like schools of small fish. Come graduation, they all go their separate ways.”

“I heard you singing in music class just now... Heheh. No, I’m sorry; you do sound very nice.”

“I wish they’d label how many calories are in each dish in the cafeteria. It makes keeping count so difficult.”

“Is there something strange about me? I thought I studied the fashion norms on land well enough.”

PE Uniform - R

Unlock Card “I don’t necessarily hate Flying class. My broom just doesn't always cooperate with me.”

Groovy “Let’s try to work our hardest.”

Home Setting “I’m not that fond of exercising on land.”

Home Transitions “I’m not ashamed of the fact that I’m not good at sports. You have your struggles too, don’t you?”

“You only have two legs and yet you can walk that fast...? You really are good at this.”

“There’s no harm in looking like you’re trying hard. It gives off the impression that you’re committed and worthy of respect.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Flying class is almost starting. You always look like you’re having so much fun.”

Home Taps “Coach Vargas was just appalled by me again. If only I were in the water, I could... no, that would still be a problem.”

“I do a light muscle workout everyday. I also make sure to eat in moderation. It’s important to take care of your body.”

“It sounds so obvious, but floating in the water and floating in the sky really are nothing alike.”

“Sports on land make you sweat, and it’s so uncomfortable. ...Right now I’d like nothing more than to plunge into the ocean.”

“Are you trying to mock me? I’ll accept your offer as-is, but expect to have it returned it to you two-fold.”

Lab Coat - SR

Unlock Card “Please leave everything to me. Brewing potions is something I’m very confident in.”

Groovy “I’ll give you some tips for your experiments. Of course, the price would be... Heheh.”

Home Setting “I enjoy classes where the results are very clear.”

Home Transitions “I like experiments. As long as you just follow the instructions, you won’t run into any surprises.”

“There’s a full selection of rare ingredients to choose from here. What a wonderful school this is!”

“Ahh... If only you had my notes, you’d be able to finish all of those assignments in the blink of an eye... Are you interested?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Please leave the alchemy to me. Churning out riches is one of my specialties. Of course I’m talking about the experiment.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Even the smallest speck of dust bothers me. ...Why are you looking at me like that? Please, enough with your games.”

Home Taps “Feel free to come speak with me if you ever find yourself unable to find the lab materials you need. I have my ways.”

“Your stomach hurts? I’ll steep some herbs. There’s a brew I’ve been wanting to try out.”

“I’m very particular about my writing tools... It needs to feel a certain way when I sign my papers.”

“Grim is a strange creature. ...Why don’t we try teaching him some tricks? Oh, for no particular reason.”

“You don’t need to keep coming in here; I can see just fine. These goggles have prescription lenses.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Turning one madol into a hundred is just another component of alchemy. Would you like to try?”

Ceremony Robes - SR

Unlock Card “‘Azul can make any of your wishes come true.’ ...Would you like to see whether or not these rumors are true?”

Groovy “Presentation is important for negotiations to proceed smoothly.”

Home Setting “Do you wish to hear my advice as well?”

Home Transitions “Only the wise should be the ones leading the herd. Don’t you agree?”

“I’ve come up with a plan for an event involving the Ramshackle Dorm; please take a look at it...”

“In a few moments I’ll be starting my lecture on ‘Efficient Study Methods.’ I’m grateful to say we have a full house yet again.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “The teachers hold Octavinelle students in high regard for being so well-mannered. I’m proud that our students are so exceptional.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “It’s nice to take time off like this every once in a while. ...Truthfully, I’m not at my best when there’s so much activity around me.”

Home Taps “These ceremony robes are much better than any business card. You get all kinds of wishful eyes on you just by wearing these outside the school.”

“I’m having others take care of setting up for the ceremony. My job is acting as the brains.”

“Maybe I should tighten my belt a little... I prefer having a tight figure.”

“Dark, confined spaces put me at ease. I like clothes that come with hoods.”

“You’re so loud. No one likes a lot of blabber.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Instead of an amulet, it’s better to keep your favorite coin in your pocket.”

Dorm Uniform - SSR

Unlock Card “How lucky you are to have been able to meet someone as kind as me!”

“Balancing this student life with running the Mostro Lounge is something I’m enjoying very much.”

Groovy “Welcome to Octavinelle! We’re always happy to have those like you here.”

Home Setting “If you ever need a consultant, I’d be happy to speak with you anytime.”

Home Transitions “My students become very reasonable with me the moment I put on our dorm uniform.”

“I always put on my right shoe before the left on the mornings of a battle. You could say it’s superstition... Yes, exactly that.”

“I picked out all of the furniture used in the Mostro Lounge. Isn’t the atmosphere just wonderful?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Helping others is what I live for. As dorm leader, I’ll support every one of you as best as I can.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Should you have a wish you’d like me to grant, you’re welcome at the Mostro Lounge’s VIP Room anytime. What do you say about coming over now?”

Home Taps “Jade is a very capable assistant. I wouldn’t have chosen him as the vice dorm leader if he wasn’t.”

“They say the Sea Witch had infused a spiral shell with her own magic. Maybe I should modify the pin on my hat that way as well.”

“Floyd’s mood swings are unbearable to deal with, but I have faith in his power when the time calls for it.”

“You smell something nice? Oh, that must be my cologne. It’s one of the small pleasures I have while being on land.”

“Oh, please don’t interrupt me right now. I’m busy totaling the sales for today.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Why don’t you work a shift at the Mostro Lounge sometime? The staff meals Jade and Floyd make are simply the best.”

Duo Magic Azul: “Riddle, let’s run this exactly by our plan.” Riddle: “Azul, I’ll put my trust in you this time.”

Birthday Celebration Outfit - SSR

This card was only obtainable during Azul’s birthday event (Feb 22 - Feb 28, 2020).

Login on Birthday “I’m honored to hear that you’ve remembered my birthday. However, unfortunately I don’t accept one-way gifts... But if you insist, please come order today’s exclusive special meal at the Mostro Lounge; I will be joining you.”

Unlock Card “Those who owe me debts are welcome to come today. Let’s all enjoy the party together.”

“I would like to express my utmost gratitude to everyone who congratulated me. That is the courteous thing to do. Isn’t that right?”

Groovy “Thank you for your birthday wishes. I will make sure to show my gratitude appropriately, so please stay tuned.”

Home Setting “There is such odd—er, interesting clothing on land.”

Home Transitions “The staff at my family’s ristorante sent a group photo of them along with their gifts. I’m glad everyone is doing well.”

“A gift doesn’t have to be an object. Letting me listen to your worries is enough. Come, don’t be shy!”

“Heheh. For my birthday, I decided that I will eat as I please without worrying about the calories.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “I’m glad my birthday is here. In the business world, you’re looked down on just for being young.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “The Mostro Lounge offers a coral-themed birthday cake. You absolutely must order it for your birthday!”

Home Taps “Idia gave me a board game I’ve been interested in recently. I cannot wait to beat him when we play.”

“Every year on my birthday, Jade and Floyd pull a prank on me. Honestly, what will I do with those two...?”

“When I invited Jamil to my party, he grew suspicious and asked ‘What’s the catch?’ ...And here I only want to get along.”

“Coach Vargas saw me in this outfit and said ‘Let me give you a special flying lesson for your birthday!’ I had so much difficulty running from him.”

“You brought me food again? ...Is that your way of saying I look like I eat a lot?”

Home Tap (Groovy) “I’m always looking for business opportunities at parties, but for today alone, I think I will just enjoy myself as the star.”

Duo Magic Azul: “It’s an honor to receive a birthday wish from you, Malleus.” Malleus: “My best wishes, Ashengrotto.”

Tutorial “Lurking over there is quite rude. Come, I'll show you around.” 

Lv Up “This is just... spectacular!”

“What do you think about my brilliant progress?”

“I’m not done yet... Heheheh!”

Max Lv Up “Ahh... I can feel the power rising in me... I’d like to keep doing business with you from now on.”

Episode Lv Up “A kind soul like you might be an easy target at this academy, don’t you think? If you ever end up in a bad position, do pay me a visit. You won’t regret it.”

Magic Lv Up “My magic power has grown so advanced; I’d like to put it to good use. I would never want to let talent go to waste.”

Limit Break “More... I want more power. Do I look like the kind of man who would be satisfied with this?”

Groovy “I’m feeling good today. I think now would be your chance if you have anything you want from me.”

Lesson Select “Are you tired of your classes? I recommend thinking of it as a game of scoring points from your teachers.”

“I’m fully prepared for any class. Pick whichever one you like.”

“Depending on the price you pay... I could help you study for today’s quiz.”

Lesson Start “Let’s do our best.”

Lesson End “Were you able to see how brilliant I am?”

Battle Start “You poor, unfortunate souls!”

Battle End “Well, you certainly tried your hardest.”

Other

Profile Quote “I’d be more than happy to help you. Now, just sign this contract.”

January 2020 Trailer “If you want to cross the bridge, you’ve got to pay the toll. That’s only natural, isn’t it?”

Countdown Poster “Helping unfortunate folk like yourself—that’s what I live for.”

Login Bonus Greeting “You are surprisingly quite diligent. I, too, enjoy working so steadily.”

Player Birthday Wish “Happy birthday! Today is a special case, in that I will grant you one single wish. ...Of course this isn’t a business deal. I’m only investing in your future self.”

Easter Eggs from The Little Mermaid:

The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber

Poor Unfortunate Souls

Helping unfortunate merfolk like yourself; that’s what I live for

If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet, you’ve got to pay the toll

[autisticmuse]

Around the time I started this blog I was humoring numerous potential avenues of expression to get ideas out of my head and to have a sense of creation/completion to gratify myself. I am a very visual thinker so I tend to have strong imagery and movement associated with my thoughts. Sharing random dreams and thoughts doesn't really gratify me or make me feel accomplished but among writing in general, animating, coding, and music I also wanted to seriously look at what kinds of art inspired my creativity and emotionally connected with me the most. Impressionism, as it turned out, was the clear winner. I went through the literal 4000+ pictures I had saved as desktop backgrounds and isolated the ones I loved the most and out of 89 I pulled out 70 were impressionist style. So at that point I wanted to commit to learning to paint.

But then I quickly realized art courses are almost exclusively overwhelming to me; too rigid, teaching methods that infuriate and agitate my mind and ruin my ability to focus. About the only thing that really made sense to me was studying anatomy and shape language, and of course using reference. So I decided if every tutorial and class I was seeing wasn't working I would just teach myself. While incredibly slow every so often I make a leap and it feels right. It took me months to finally start doing human anatomy studies casually and I go weeks without doing any drawing at all because I do not force myself to practice something when I am not mentally able to focus. But between those moments I do watch tutorials, speedpaints, and study, absorbing information and techniques that I apply the next time I sit down to draw. Even without rigorous practice the improvements are dramatic each time.

Just recently, about a week ago, I finally was able to crack through the barrier I was having with coloring. I was struggling to understand how to properly blend and mix brush strokes and it was incredibly demoralizing every time I sat down and tried to color a picture, especially because I was usually already mentally drained from doing lineart (which I detest). That was when I realized I don't need line art for painting. That revelation made a huge difference. I could go from sketch straight to blocking in colors (which I see plenty of painters doing in speed painting, if they even have a sketch at all, as they can block in or paint over things as they adjust their perspective) and the only thing holding me back now would be familiarity with brush stroke techniques, blending, good layer usage, and color theory.

I sat down happily and just started playing with brushes without even sketching, using photos of my bunnies to practice with and just learn how the paint functions. It's far from perfect or refined but I feel really good about them. I also found it particularly fun to do these using a brush that was called Grass because their diet is 95% hay.

Anyway, I know this is a deviation of the norm for my blog but had to talk about this, for myself and maybe for other neurodivergent people struggling with learning something you really want to do. For me at least learning at my own pace and teaching myself rather than forcing myself to abide by established methods is what works best. If you are struggling to learn something forcing yourself may not be the answer. Perhaps what you are struggling with isn't the lesson but how it is being taught. You know what the end result should be but find your own way to it if the way presented drives you away. You'll have so much more confidence figuring out what works for you. Not just in academics but hobbies as well.

You do you, the world will appreciate it.