#i make a point of being specific and sincere with my art compliments

[softness-and-shattering]

WARRIOR MOTHS LIKE WARRIOR CATS!!!!!!!!!! Hank the farm spider mailman mystery!

Your daughters drawings are absolutely delightful, she must have a wonderful imagination! Im not personally a bug person so I cant speak to accuracy, but her creatures look very cool and confidently drawn, such good shapes, her art skills arent shabby at all. Those are some very good 3D boxes and bed and house too. I hope you continue to encourage her joy and playfulness, its so so important and good.

glimpse into my beautiful imaginary world where arthropods are really big and we domesticated them

edit: people are starting to say some "my worst nightmare" or "eeeww no that one is yucky and scary" comments on this like they do on any bug post and id like to say. it's fine if you don't like bugs it's fine if you're scared of bugs but don't put that on MY post clearly talking about how much i like them and how cute i think they are. you can make your own damn post about how much you hate wasps or spiders or whatever. i'm blocking people who make these kinds of comments.

[starlightswordfight]

rescue corps headcanons because I'm insane

(there are many)

– mirror pronouns pom

– that's all I got

– man!!

– Bernard started TALKING in this specific MANNER for the BIT years and years back and now he can't STOP he is STUCK someone HELP him

– he ALSO might be doing it to try to put EMPHASIS on the words he believes should have it and sometimes HE DOES not succeed

– he reads as ADHD coded to me but it might be because I also talk like that so take that with a grain of salt

– "HEY GIRL. I MEAN ANY PRONOUNS"

– Bernard had the most normal home life by far. No contest, won by default. I have a GREAT relationship with both of MY parents because they LOVE me

– he is incredibly observant. alarmingly so. will sometimes act out of the loop on purpose, if he thinks things would just be easier that way. accidentally learns everything about everyone, the guy's an information magnet and he doesn't know how to feel about that

– do you guys think Russ has made a spacesuit with the doc ock arms because I think he has and that he actively uses it on missions

– occasionally jumpscares people and giggles about it. he got the tendency to do this from his mother, who can smell fear

– while I doubt Russ would do things "for the bit" he would ABSOLUTELY act on impulse in the name of the scientific method. this has gotten him hurt before. it's fine

– does not make coffee he just eats the fucking grounds. "it's a Giyan thing, you wouldn't understand" this is not true at all he is LYING

– Russ and Yonny get into frequent arguments (light banter) about literally everything and I mean Everything. They could work together they'd be really powerful that way, but they don't

– Russ has so many genuinely funny science puns that he makes and no one ever gets them and it devastates him

– except for Yonny, who is too busy searching for ethics guideline loopholes to acknowledge that he understands the joke

– Yonny has the most HORRIFIC life stories and will drop them CASUALLY. thought they were funny, is only now beginning to realize that it does in fact make people concerned and uncomfortable when he does that

– prefers paper books to digital because he's prone to headaches!! cites "phone bad book good" as the official reason but that's not the reason

– nonbinary and evil. presentation tends to "default" as masc but switches up often! hey girl I mean any pronouns

– knows like a hundred million dead languages for absolutely no reason

– makes art in his spare time because murder is wrong

– Shepherd sleeps with a nightlight, or at the very least can't rest well in complete darkness!! she's just like me fr !!!!

– "she snores" thank you duncan for your contribution. honk shoe

– also I think she might be autistic I can't fully back that one up do not ask me to but look at her. she cares about dogs the way I care about fish

– prone to coming across the wrong way, tone wise. very very good at giving backhanded compliments that were meant to be fully sincere and just got horribly lost in translation. this keeps her up at night. she feels AWFUL

– big fan of karaoke!! not exactly GOOD at it but we love her initiative

– as afraid as she is of the pikmin, their voices and funny little words are very catchy and she does find herself repeating them often. she will not admit this. it is embarrassing

– Collin is also autistic. I could make an entire separate post on this I'm being so goddamn serious, I have so much reasoning, I am fully confident that he is, and that he masks REALLY hard, and it enormously fucked him up

– special interest in machinery (NO ONE saw THIS coming)

– transmasculine. his name is a pun on "call in." heard the phrase and realized he had the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

– we only hear about his grandfather, and not even from him; no other family is mentioned at all!! went no contact with like everybody else, above points might be why. people with normal childhoods don't stand like that

– adding onto the canon sleep talking with sleep movement! a LOT of it! has probably kicked someone before!!

– "he wakes up upside down" thank you duncan

– i think maybe Dingo might still have glow stick light up bones. will rediscover this one day during an expedition mishap and it will be an Experience

– not a hc but Dingo is the type of guy to get bit in a zombie apocalypse and not tell anyone until the literal last second

– "he would also say "fuck my stupid baka life"" thank you duncan

– would fight by rolling up his sleeves and jumping around cartoonishly. he would more likely talk like he's winning the fight when he is in fact actively losing. "had enough yet? (on the floor)"

– definitely games and he wins the competitive ones by button mashing. "I'll never tell you my strategy" he prays that's the strategy

– his sleep schedule is NOT normal. it's so beyond skewed. he either gets like 2 hours of sleep or he wakes up the following night not knowing what year it is

[drifters-destiny]

this is not a love story. | issue #1

“A confession from the genius prince...”

Summary: High school AU. You thought your high school experience would be mediocre at best, simply surviving day by day before you finally graduated, but that isn’t the case now.

And it all started with a letter from the genius prince of Teyvat High.

Inspired by the anime/manga series Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun.

Pairing: Albedo x GN!Reader

A/N: I apologize for being gone so long!!! Also, to clear up some confusion, I deleted the original version of this series because I wasn’t satisfied where the story was going. I hope you guys enjoy this version!

Weird…he’s not here today. He always appears by the doorway around this time to watch me.

“Looking for the genius prince?”

You broke out of your trance as your gaze flickered over to a grinning Childe who continued to paint on his canvas. “Your eyes keep darting at the doorway,” he pointed out while your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. You weren’t exactly looking for him, but rather…you had grown used to his presence.

For the past few weeks, you noticed a lingering figure outside the art club. You, at first, didn’t even notice since your back faced the entryway until Childe greeted him, causing you to turn around yourself and see the genius prince himself looking at you…or more specifically, your painting.

“You painted that?” he once asked when you met him the first time around. You simply nodded in response and his eyes softened as he continued to compliment your work. “May I come here to watch you paint?”

And so for the next few weeks, he did come to the art room to watch you paint, and sometimes, he’d even chat with Childe.

Albedo Kreideprinz was his name, the genius prince of Teyvat High. He lived up to the name since he was academically successful in every subject and he carried a princely aura, making anyone susceptible to fall for him.

However, it seemed that you captured the attention of the genius prince and you were undeniably confused.

And the letter you received from him didn’t help.

Excuse me for being forward, but there’s something very important I want to tell you…something so important that it has been plaguing my mind for so many nights. It’s been troubling me, and my heart can’t settle until I let my feelings out in the open. So please, meet me on Friday after school on the rooftop and lull my flustered heart.

Sincerely,

Albedo Kreideprinz

Though Childe was the teasing type, your friend never asked the contents of what was written and you were thankful for that because how can you explain this letter to him?

This has to be a confession letter, right? You’ve watched your fair share of romance anime to know that meeting someone on the rooftop because they had something important to tell you meant that they were confessing to you. It had to be…and you were screwed.

You weren’t interested in him. Sure, he was a good-looking guy and you knew that many people would like to be with him, but you were an exception. You didn’t like him that way and while it did suck that you had to hurt his feelings, you didn’t want to raise his hopes up either.

You sighed and returned to painting, ignoring your friend’s inquisitive gaze as you continued to mull over your predicament.

You weren’t looking forward to Friday at all and it seemed your anxiousness was noticeable enough for your friends to ultimately ask you about it the following day during lunch.

“Hmm, you’re hiding something from us,” Yoimiya stated as Childe nodded his head in agreement.

You tried to hide your shock. “Wh-whatever do you mean? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’ve been lost in thought as of late…ever since you got that letter from Albedo,” Childe mused as you felt more nervous. “You guys are not dating so something else is going on and you don’t want to tell us?”

“There isn’t anything to tell,” you insisted, but your friends were unconvinced and wanted to ask you more about you and Albedo. However, Yoimiya let out a sigh while Childe shrugged his shoulders.

“Fine, if you don’t want to tell us, we don’t mind, but I feel lonely now,” he pouted and you chuckled, shaking your head. “My only friend has been captivated by the genius prince.”

Yoimiya smacked him on the shoulder. “Did you happen to forget about me?”

“You’re different!”

“How am I different!?”

“You’re you!”

“What the hell does that supposed to mean!?”

Soon enough, the conversation turned into playful banters amongst your friends and for a very short while, you forgot about the situation. However, it didn’t last too long and you began mulling over your predicament again. With each passing day, you felt more and more anxious to the point that you couldn’t even focus on your studies. Though none of your friends read the letter, they were aware that Albedo was the source of your troubles and even offered to confront him for you. However, you declined your friends’ offer and insisted that you’d deal with it yourself.

Eventually, Friday finally came around and you had to face your predicament head on. Yoimiya wished you luck as Childe advised you on how to turn down Albedo gently. Your friends seemed to connect the dots and knew what was happening, but letting you handle the situation at hand like you requested.

Walking up the stairs to the rooftop, you felt more and more nervous by the minute. Is this what it feels like to be a character in a romance comic? Meeting up at the rooftop? Receiving a confession from a handsome guy? it does feel like one.

You couldn’t lie to yourself that being confessed to does feel nice, but you had to decline nonetheless. You weren’t ready for romance in your life just yet. You were perfectly content with how you are now.

Yeah, that’s what I should tell Albedo.

Opening the door to the rooftop, you saw Albedo already waiting there, his gaze fixated by the view before him before shifting to you, teal eyes softening. “Hey, thank you for meeting up with me,” he begins, a kind smile forming on his lips.

Crap! What was I going to say to him again?

“I apologize for doing all of this. I wasn’t sure how to approach this situation since this is my first time ever doing this.”

He sounds so earnest! How can I hurt his feelings?

“That’s why I wanted to wait until Friday to meet up with you. I didn’t want to make any mistakes upon facing you. I want to make sure my feelings for you are clear and you won’t misunderstand.”

Argh! He’s making this hard on me!

“I’ve watched you for a long time now and from what I’ve seen, I know my feelings are true and I must act upon them.”

No! No! No! I need to stop him!

“See the truth is I…”

“I DON’T LIKE YOU!”

“…”

“…”

“Pardon?”

So much for turning him down gently. “I mean, I don’t like you in a romantic sense, okay? You’re really kind and I love that you enjoy my paintings, but I’m not interested in dating right now. I hope you understand,” you explained.

Albedo blinked at you for a moment before blushing, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. “Well…I…actually…I didn’t want to confess to you.”

What?

“You’re really kind yourself and I think you’re a great person, but the reason why I asked you up here is to be my assistant, not my lover.”

“What!?”

“I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. I thought my letter was quite clear about the intentions of meeting you today. I just wanted to formally ask you to be my assistant for the romance comic I’m working on.”

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed about the situation. How does one even redeem themselves in this case? How? And how did his letter explain his intentions!? You really thought he was confessing to you. And meeting on the rooftop of all places!? Couldn’t he set the meeting in a classroom so you wouldn’t get the wrong idea?

“You see, I publish monthly issues of my comic in That’s Life magazine under the pen name Calx. I also do other projects for the Yae Publishing House from time to time but publishing My First and Last is my primary focus. Oh right, My First and Last is the name of the comic I’m working on. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it or not.”

I can’t let my friends know about this, especially Childe. He will make fun of me to no end if he finds out that this wasn’t a love confession at all. I can already hear his teasing voice!

“Anyhow, I need assistance doing the beta for my comic, which is filling in the white space of the designated area in a panel. Seeing your painting skills made me notice how talented you are in that area.”

Maybe if I just transfer to a different school and change my name, I will finally escape from the embarrassment I’m experiencing right now.

“You will be compensated for your work and you will be able to choose your schedule as well. If you’re okay with that, we can start working on some panels today. Are you interested in this opportunity?”

“...”

“…”

“…”

“…[Name]?”

“I’m sorry, I’m too busy being swallowed by my humiliation. Can you repeat that?”

“...”

“...”

“Do you want to be my assistant?”

[steampunkhobo]

(Commission from @pinelews, sharing with permission.)

Y’all, oh my goodness. I don’t know that I have the words to express how crazy I am about this but I’m at least going to try. I love it too much to not give it at least that.

Usually when I'm commissioning someone, I have an idea laid out and I try to find someone I think could execute it well, but this was an idea that I'd specifically come up with for this artist, laid out after seeing his commission sheet. By and large most of the stuff I commission is just silly and fluffy- which I have no doubt that he could have done as well!- and one thing that really drew me to his art was just how intimate and raw things felt. And I'd been wanting to commission something more intimate for them for a long time, but I just couldn't come up with a solid idea until I found his art. Spent two late nights scrambling on pinterest so I'd finally have enough reference images to reach out to him😭

It is so entirely captivating to me. The kind of piece you lean in for, holding your breath without realizing it. I've spent too much time the past few days zoomed in to see the little sliver of Delmar's blue eyes or the curve of Pete's jawline- there's so many details that just make it, and I keep finding more things to love the more I look. (Pete's absolutely gorgeous collarbones??? Hello???) They look so human, with the roughness of the sideburns and stubble coming in, shaggy hair falling every which way- they're so perfectly unpolished. It's the kind of moment when you don't really care what you're looking like.

And just the moment is captured so well, that sweet, delicate stillness, all that tension...I'm losing my mind. And it is very intimate, very charged (which is a very very good thing!!!) but also just as sweet. There's love in this as much as there is tension- and I think that's what makes it feel so perfect. There's no looking up in reverence without sincere admiration, no cradling and stroking the face of someone you don't have affection for, none of this kind of vulnerability without the connection they share. I love how needy and pathetic Delmar looks (his natural state), lost in his own little world with nothing but Pete in it- the goddamn lip bite is making me crazy. And ohmygod how sweet is that look in his eyes😭And that's before we even talk about Pete! Still got that stoicism to him that's true to his character, but he's betraying a greater softness- something that we see in the movie during the opportunities he has to be close with Delmar. This is just that same feeling, taken to its natural conclusion. And he's being so damn tender! The hand placement was something I specified, but he really just made it perfect, to the point where you can feel the weight he's putting down in your own hands. I love the gentle upwards curve of the hand in Delmar's hair, and the thumb by his lips...oh my lord 😵‍💫 And for all the sweetness Pete's showing, he also just seems really amused by Delmar. Feels like there's the hint of a laugh in that smile- which is exactly the way Delmar ought to be looked at.

I'm gonna have to make complement lightning round a tradition on my commission posts at this point, 'cause there's still so much I want to compliment. The way Pete's hair is catching the light is INSANE and one of those details that makes me feel in awe of artists as a whole. The lighting makes the atmosphere just perfect, so cozy and warm and yet still salacious- icing on the cake. And I'm so happy about the wallpaper 😭 Love having the world around them fleshed out a bit + I think it adds to the warmth. The clothes wear on the perfectly, especially the downstage sleeve of Pete's shift and the snaps on Delmar's suspenders. The hands are insane (even I know those are hard) and I don't know why but I just love the fingernails- just things that, again, make them feel more human. The eyebrows are another example of that. They do not need to be as perfect and seemingly meticulous as they are, being such a small piece of this whole thing, but I'm so glad they are. They add another layer to this whole piece and give me another detail to fuss over. I'm not kidding. I've wanted to highlight specifically the eyebrows this whole time. And I will never write about art of them without highlighting the NOSES. Every time I see a well-drawn nose, I do a backflip. One of my favorite things to see ever.

I probably should have put this at the top of all my rambling, but anyone who's made it to this point, please please please do yourself a favor and consider commissioning this artist. And just check out his art! It's crazy good- I love his sense of line (the only way I know how to put it lmao.) He was THE nicest, fantastic at communication, and the quality of his work is just so good. Y'all don't know how excited I was to know I'd be working with him. Good egg all around.

[live-love-laugh-lesbian]

helloooo how are youuu!!

omg so real with rainbow dash and aj?? i saw this poll and she was the least liked and i was appalled how can someone NOT like applejack???????

im sure your gift receiver will love theirs!!

i mainly drink coffee for the caffeine andnrnsnf but i like the flavour too! id much rather drink a coffee with good flavour and not as much caffeine rather than one woth bad flavour but pure caffeine yk?

and fun fact!!! electric violins are a thing (but maybe you already knew that and i misunderstood?) theyre really cool sounding anything electric sounds awesome to me tho so maybe im biased akfjjrsjfj

okay three careers: id be a games designer, animator and an author! i want to pursue all of those in my one life but that seems unrealistic ajdjrjsjf i really wish i did have three lives to pursue each of them!! and your careers seem so cool!! my mums a teacher and she respects the ta's that help special needs kids so much!! and honestly i do too!! ooh medicine!! medicine was fascinating to me as a child i always either wanted to be a fashion designer or work in the medicine industry!! and we are SOOO twins with animating ajdjejsjf i love art and also yours is sooo good omg your velvette art>>>>>>>>>> akkdjejsd

for me!! dogss but im biased bc a) my mum had three dogs and my aunt has dogs and dogs in family so im used to being around them <3 and b) a dog didnt try to kill me!! (i will not elaborate ajdjrjsjfn) and omg your cats sound sooo cutee and i love how so many cat owners i know are like 'yeah shes unhelpful but shes cute!!' because honestly thats so valid ajdjrnsjfjr

oh yeah i totally get warm colours sorta stuff! my fav colours are either grey or lilac ajdjrjsjd so aksjdjsjd

hmm see this is hard because id love to control fire just bc itd look cool ajdjrjsjfj but also i think mainly air? bc if i hate someone i can just mess their hair up /j ksjdjejsjd but i think airs cool! but also lile fire because it looks cool but im biased bc im a fire sign so i think im supposed to be loyal to fire ajdjrnsnf but if i had to choose one, probably air! what about you?

and my question to you: what is the best compliment youve ever gotten and whats your fav way to spend a day off?

byeee!!!! this is so long sorry ajfjrndnf

-swiftie spring exchange anon

So first you don't need to apologise for length!! I love long messages XD

I think people like her the least because she's like..."normal"? She doesn't necessarily stand out as much as the others do, and I get the impression that makes people pay less attention to her :( But she's lovely!! She's a loyal friend, hardworking, and I love her family relationships too!! I'm super close to my siblings and love seeing those bonds in media XD

That makes sense!! I imagine coffee is like tea, wherein some is just like...a better taste. Okay sure I only do herbal tea, but some herbal teas are better than others XD

I did not know electric violins were a thing!! Worldview changing news right there. (sincere in a mildly hyperbolic way) I need to know what other electric instruments exist now however...I want an electric saxophone. Do those exist? I need to find out. (Okay turns out YES oh my god I love it. Some of them feel faintly cursed but that's ok I love a cursed instrument.)

It's cool how much we have in common X'D If you wanna keep talking post exchange I'd be up for that! Tbh at one point I too wanted to be a games designer...I tried to make a visual novel once. I did not have the patience for it. (It's funny cause my job requires a lot of patience, but then often I do not have patience?? I joke that my job uses up my patience but tbh I think it's just a different type of patience. Explaining concepts to a child repeatedly feels different from learning to code or play an instrument. I imagine there's many people who have the patience for the latter who would not for the former.)

I ALSO at one point wanted to go into fashion design - specifically, wedding dress designs!! I basically went from STEM careers to art careers then settled in education XD If I could do all three I would. But for now I'm satisfied with art as a hobby and education as a job. My mum also works with kids, but like, early years so before school aged XD I guess I sort of take after her in that regard.

Re: dogs and cats! My uncles both have dogs XD I think I'm kinda wary of dogs because I know many poorly trained dogs. But then like...one of my uncles has the most chill dog ever? Kinda a dumb dog too. They got burgled once and on camera they found that the dog had been awake and the burglar just stepped over the dog. She's just a very docile dog that doesn't feel a need to get worked up over things XD

I am very sorry about the cat trying to kill you tho!! Some cats can be vicious, to be fair. My two are very sweet thankfully - a black and white one who is 5 in October, and a tabby who turns 2 in May! The older one is generally more chill, she just likes to sleep and cuddle and judge others. And then the younger one wants to run around and cause trouble (nothing major, to be fair, worst she does is steal my post) and play all the time lol. She also wants to cuddle a lot, but she finds it hard to sit still long enough.

Fun fact I am making a pair of lilac trousers atm XD They're corduroy and I'm gonna add sequined hearts on afterwards.

Ooh which fire sign? I'm a scorpio XD I'd probably go for water. As a kid I wanted to do earth because I was a fan of Toph from ATLA, but I think I'd find water easier...am I looking at ATLA to decide? Yes. Yes I am. But yeah I think water! Also if I could control water I could swim maybe...

My favourite way to spend a day off is basically art, time with my sister (and friends, but usually I have to text because we live a few hours apart), and then a date with my gf. I like a bit of gaming too (found out Stardew Valley updated so been on that today after I finished work). It's also less energy consuming, so it's nice to use light gaming as a break inbetween art stuff. Providing it's single player games. I am extremely competitive when it's multiplayer, woops. My family and I once ended up contacting a monopoly helpline because my uncle and I got into such a debate over one of the rules lol. And as for compliment...not really sure? Sometimes I have people ask me where I got my clothes, or ask if I got them from specific brands, and that feels like a compliment because it means I made something that looks at least vaguely professional XD Honestly compliments on my art always make me happy. Oh, and compliments professionally - whenever a child or parent has positive things to say about me I'm like :D. I think I just like to know that others appreciate the things I can do? What about you??

My turn for a question...do you have a "bucket list" of sorts? Like are there any things you wanna do in life in particular? And do you think you'll get those things done?

[wisebilly]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS SOO GOOD THE SINGING WAS AWEOSME BRYCE DID SO WELL I LITERALLY ALMOST CRIED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ART WAS FANTASTIC TOO DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED OUU THE COLORS .....

anyway. screaming out of the way. (pushes up glasses) lets get serious here .

i for one an Petrified of the full moon episode ! i think the overall dynamic of stolas n blitzø thinking they're both unobtainable but for ultimately different reasons (blitzø thinking stolas (or anybody else, really) would never genuinely care about or love him because he's fucked up so many other people's lives, and also being of much lower status in hell. and stolas never being sure if blitzø really loves him or if it's all just for transactional reasons due to him being a goetia and needing the grimoire to do his work in the overworld) is going to Absolutely Fucking Explode in their faces and while im obviously excited because YIPPEE NEW EPISODE !! I am also. Fear. i don't want anything to go wrong

back to the actual video though, ouughfhhfhgmfmsnr it was so IT WAS SO GOOD. Soo good. the lyrics were on point and even complimented many of the scenes, the art was smooth and gorgeous, the overall message of the song that not only really laid out stolitzs dynamic but also managed to imply some future happenings was. augh i was staring in awe fr

some specific scenes that i liked were:

blitzø being consumed and alone by his hatred for what he's done to people he's claimed to care about, absorbed in a nebulous bubble with no contact to the outside world. the way they portrayed stolas being aware of his mental state with the soulmate string and blitzø being seen hugging himself for protection ,..,.... and also the MOON IMAGERY. blitzø is stolas' light and world like. wow. moons big innit . sure as well may be

another being stolas conjuring up a golden spirit of sorts of blitzø, caressing stolas' face before leaving because the moment was fleeting

lastly . lastly. stolas making the huge leap up to blitzø in a last ditch attempt to reach him, but falling as his fingers only barely managed to graze the moon, what he's wanted most. only to fall but never really look back, always keeping an eye towards the light . was blown away literally like my socks came clean off

ALL IN ALL. they both think they're unobtainable and unworthy of love. blitzø needs to open up and realize that being vulnerable and sincere and emotional is okay actually!! mf

TLDR: ough. chewing it with my teeth. if i made any spelling errors no i didnt < typed this at the speed of light

Trout what are your opinions on the new stolas mv

!/!/!/)?/!)?/!)!/?)?/?/? YOU WATCHRD IT TOO ??? OH YMH GOD.HOLS ON

[prettyboykatsuki]

♡  bakugou headcanons that feel like a warm hug ♡

➳wc ;; 1.2k (oh my god. what is wrong w me.) 

➳ a/n ;; or my bakugou brain-rot that never goes away. thanks for being my comfort character, you fucking gremlin. forgive the silly title. 

♡ always makes little adjustments to the environment for you. he’s observant to a fault so if there’s something even a little off and it happens to bother you, he’s trying to work around it. 

♡ good at playing guitar but not good at reading music. he can throw something together if you give him a chance but he’s not good at trying to recreate someone elses memory. he’s not like.. musically gifted either but he likes how guitar sounds 

♡ thinks about getting a lot of piercings in his ear because he thinks they’d look cool but is kind of too nervous? the idea of a needle going through his skin is a ick. when you start dating, he drags you to his appointments lol - won’t admit it but he thinks he looks so hot when he gets them. takes a bunch of selfies <3 

♡ needs to be moving constantly. can’t sit completely still to save his life. when he listens to music, he moves his head. sometimes he just runs his thumb over his fingers. 

♡ really, really bad at talking. not in the sense he can’t communicate (that too) but he just likes listening in conversation. rarely adds his own thing. but when he does - always accidentally says something super meaningful 

♡ enjoys subtle physical touch because it is literally intimate he melts inside. a hand on his forearm or shoulder. your legs over his lap. small things that show how comfortable you are. 

♡ likes being held cause he’s a big ass baby lmfao 

♡ wont admit it but enjoy when you choose pretty or colorful bandages for his cuts he won’t himself but it’s like keeping you in his pocket wherever he goes.  

♡ really needs you to find him attractive dslksjk it’s not that he ever thinks he’s particularly ugly. but he didn’t really assign importance to his appearance at any point in his life, yet now he puts in a scary amount of effort. readjusts his hair so much more, makes sure his clothes fit good. fixes his fuckin’ face lol 

♡ likes chewing gum a lot and always has a pack on him. really proud of how big he can blow bubbles and will be a little sad if you’re unimpressed. 

♡ is overly sentimental about things you’ve made him - especially if it’s something super dumb. you drew him a silly little sketch of him in a frog hat? it’s in his wallet behind his id. freaks out when he thinks he’s lost his wallet 

♡ LOVES phone calls. yes he still hates talking. but the way his face looks when he listens to your voice. eyes half-lidded, shamelessly smiling - it’s so tender and so lovesick. 

♡ terrible first grader hand-writing. he tries to write them for you in the beginning of your relationship (to be romantic or some shit) but they’re so incomprehensible pls. if he focuses on it - it can be legible but most of the time ... yea no. 

♡ doesn’t favor tea or coffee but prefers tea if he has to drink one. 

♡ crazy good at eyeballing measurement. even in baking. once made a perfectly good bread without weighing anything and doesn’t get why that’s so wild. 

♡ has the phone on his text set to be bigger even though his eyes are fine. 

♡ lets you do the layout thing on his iphone and decorate as you please. says he doesn’t care but when he sees you made it hero themed/fit with his aesthetic - he got so red it was so cute. 

♡ hates shopping in store. will still always go with you because the one time you went alone a store clerk hit on you.  

♡ so practical. he started couponing when he was in his early twenties like an old man. checks the news and weather the night before, every night. never misses doctors appointments. 

♡ shit at any form of visual art. drawing, painting etc - cannot do it to save his life. but he tries. his hands shake when he tries to draw hearts for you 

♡ blows the eyelashes off your cheek super gently whenever he notices. he’ll like.. take your face in his hands and blow so softly like he’s gonna hurt you. 

♡ used to agree to make pinky promises with you as a joke. now though? automatically holds his pink out for you to take it. straight up pouts if you don’t. 

♡ you two have a song and when it comes on, he’ll sing it back to you. any other time? any other song? he wont. but he always sings your song even without realizing, just mouths it. 

♡ enjoys when you put your hands under his shirt and just leave them there and hug him like that. skin to skin contact is elite but only from you. 

♡ hamsters adore this man. they just do. 

♡ draws frowny faces on your eggs with hot-sauce 

♡ soul leaves his body when you play with his hair and scratch his scalp. the tension in his neck literally disappears and he just sighs that shit relaxes him like crazy 

♡ the first time he says i love you, you’re tying his tie for his first hero event. you’re telling him to that the color looks good on him and you’re smiling. it honestly it just slips. he went on to win an award that night. 

♡ his favorite memory of the two of you was when you were trying to leave the grocery store one afternoon. it was raining heavy as shit. you pulled him in under your clear umbrella and just stood there. he doesn’t know why but that means a lot to him. 

♡ cares a lot about his dads approval on his work specifically. him and his dad have a really specifc bond and he actually admires him quite a bit. 

♡ nothing makes him cry like “im proud of you”. especially when it’s for something small. it’s just something he didn’t hear enough in a sincere way. 

♡ likes fruit flavored sweets over chocolate (generally needs something to do w his mouth cause it helps him think. bad oral fixation) so he keeps little candies on him 

♡ shit at video games. terrible at them with the exception of mario kart? for some reason. 

♡ always loses his keys 

♡ stutters every!single!time! he tries to compliment you. it’s been YEARS. 

♡ takes a melatonin gummy before bed and always drinks a glass of water 

♡ buys you flowers and keeps them too. like does the upkeep on it and replaces them if the wilt. suggests pressing them to keep them for longer. 

♡ lowkey cries really easily. he just gets overwhelmed w his feelings some times and it makes him cry even if he doesn’t want too. you and the bakusquad are sworn to secrecy over it though 

♡ wears his ring around his neck on a chain bc it’s easier to show off. 

♡ naturally good at doing hair! 

♡ likes sneakers but wears dr. scholl's because he walks a lot and is on his feet for most of the day w his job. just being careful. 

♡ loves u a lot <3 

[aueua]

just wanted to say that I love your drawings and I hope I get as good as you some day

thank you very much!! we all start from somewhere

aand my apologies in advance; you probably weren't expecting some incoherent mumbling, but it's been a long day and I'll just say things nobody has to pay this much mind.

I did this one late october in 2013! beautiful, ain't it? I don't even remember this OC at all aside from being a bunny/wolf hybrid, giving her features I liked at the time (yet they're somehow not black and red, I know, it's shocking). I wasn't really well-versed in digital art yet, not that my traditional was much different. used GIMP—which might explain the pixelated grass—and an airbrush at 100% for everything. lines. coloring. absolutely no layer modes/filters.

but, I thought it was very cool back then. it's still pretty cool to me now. my lines were shaky, not necessarily clean, and the year or so with a trackpad was hell and I had actively used a mouse for nearly a decade right after that.

waves hand.

point is, I'm really flattered! that I'm part of your aspirations. I don't really process the extent of my impression on others.

you really don't have to be as good as me. actually, you can be. most likely you will be, probably even better—if it's really somewhere you want to be. just might take time albeit, but I hope that art's fun for you. I wish you the best of luck in your journey at every step—that you develop your style in the way that makes you most comfortable and happiest doing things that also end up in exciting results no matter the medium.

these honestly might seem like empty words since... gestures vaguely. but I really do mean all of them. I had a depressing streak of self-inferiority and deprecation when I was younger. frequently compared myself to other artists in all forms, just in all the bad ways. got bothered tons by numbers and feedback. got even more self-conscious after some light teasing from peers and getting onto a cringe blog. (sometimes I still feel that way when I get really bad.)

that one was a tangent. o|-<

if you ever need someone to cheer you on, I'm here!! I enjoy looking at images. I love looking at art. I love getting to see what others are interested in enough to make something out of nothing with all of their heart and soul. does this make sense? I would have never had such a vehement streak for drawing if it were not for the support back then even among all the Childhood "Angst", so like.

strikes a pose. I'm bad at doing it nowadays, but I don't mind spending the time to give a more sincere compliment (or feedback otherwise, to the best of my ability) if someone has a specific piece—or anything really—that they're real proud about. I have Been there in the pit of zero response leading to zero motivation before even if art is supposed to be for fun and not shared with the purpose of attention but like. it's fun getting microdoses of serotonin for stuff ya know... it's sharing a piece of you...

erm. maybe this has gone on for too long, so I hope this makes somewhat sense. it's just. I would hate someone to be discouraged because of the lack of attention they receive for something they bled their heart over? this is redundant.

whatever the case and however you do it, I really do wish you well. I will Hit and Hurt anyone that would deter you otherwise (even if that is yourself, in which case I would just gently rattle you). we don't know each other I imagine, but still. come to think of it maybe you already ARE happy with your stuff and HELL YEAH that is THE WAY TO GO!!

but I do not know, so I wanted to be safe in the case that it was not.

anywho! to anyone reading this spiel, we do not have to speak about this ever again!! I will probably forget about this tomorrow honestly because that has been the pattern nowadays for rambling at dead o'clock hours.

eat, drink, stretch, and rest; do what you must. I hope that today is yours, and if not, tomorrow. the days after. may they be manageable enough, and I wish you all things good and kind. maybe even a pleasant surprise to shake things up a little...

(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) please take care.

[st-just]

So, like, I have absolutely spent far too much time reading twitter discourse on the Bad Art Friend NYT article, because I make bad life choices.

And, well, first of all, mildly discouraging to see the number of people going “C’mon, who amongst us doesn’t have one or more group chats dedicated to vicious gossip and badmouthing people we act friendly towards? I mean sure it’s probably bad, but you’d have to be basically a saint to not, right?” Not sure how this should effect my estimation of how generically shitty a person I am, relatively.

But also, like, it got me thinking of validation/praise-seeking more generally? And specifically the weird trap(?) around it.

Because humans: social animals, deeply motivated by people around us showing approval for our choices

Because of this, if someone’s obviously insecure/anxious about the reception of something OR obviously extremely proud about something, unless you’re actively trying to antagonize them the friendly/courteous thing to do is praise/validate them about it. The more obvious they are about wanting/needing the validation, the ruder (to the point of basically being cruel) it becomes to not do so. 

But, like, pretending to be impressed by something someone else cares deeply about which you do not is exhausting. Being encouraging and validating someone about the same thing every other day forever is a pain. Walking on egg shells and massaging someone’s ego because it’s clearly made of cracked glass whenever something comes up is an incredible drag. You’re essentially forcing people into a performance, which is anything from tedious and boring to just incredibly unpleasant and exhausting.

Because of that, you can’t really trust any compliment or validation you get when you’re obviously fishing for it - after all, it’s more than likely they’re just being polite and compassionate, regardless of their real opinions. Worse, by forcing the whole performance and making your own emotions the center of everything, you quite possibly just made everyone’s day worse.

And more, because of all that, being constantly in need of validation and praise  is just kind of pathetic and self-infantilizing; you make yourself someone to be managed, not really engaged with (like the lady from Bad Art Friend). Which is an incredibly vicious cycle, because it means people really are being condescending and judging you behind your back ; not good for self-esteem!

So the only compliments/validation you can really trust are the ones that come totally unprompted (and from people who don’t have some reason to flatter you, obv), since those are at least presumably sincere and not motivated by empathy.

Which is, like, a problem, since people clearly don’t compliment out of the blue about shit nearly enough for most people’s emotional health.

[tartagilicious]

counterparts.

→ synopsis | hurt after hearing the person you’ve grown closest to has been withholding the truth you’ve been searching for, you seek him out to know just what else about your relationship had been a convenient lie.

→ genre | angst.

→ word count | 1300.

→ ib | je te pardonne by maître gims

→ note | angst my beloved <3 I hope yall like being hurt because I sure like doing the hurting >:D i spun this to be kind of a romance-esque story, but at the end of the day, you can view it platonically as well! just a reminder in that case, i write from the traveller’s pov, but the traveller is meant to be you and not the canonical person! / art credit to nanogons on twitter & a very thank you to @seerie for one again being my beta reader !!

✧･ﾟ: the day you meet again, rain runs from drooping leaves.

petrichor. a deep voice calls from within your memory as you walk. the scent left by rain is a rather unique combination of natural chemicals, slightly different to each region depending on the plant life that most thrives there.

as if to prove his point, you remember the man stopping to pluck a glaze lily from the earth, dotted with the same gentle smell. an innocent enough gesture. yet as you took the flower from his gloved hand, an abrupt sense of belonging crashed through your chest.

but the scent grew cloying over time. easily, even, with dainsleif’s tales of the old nation of khaenri’ah, and the archon’s ties with your missing sibling. that same fragrance of rain is rotten in your nose as you walk, the ball of tension in your throat doing little to keep you grounded.

because suddenly, your thoughts drift back to him in every stray moment. every past conversation is taken apart with a careful hand, yet is still unskilled in pulling out the lies you want to find. no matter what you do, you know that in the familiar stalls and cloudy reflections of shop windows will remain memories of zhongli, as hard as you may try to keep your eyes averted from them.

you find him with ease, the notion of knowing him so well curling in your stomach. but you choose to give yourself the benefit of the doubt; while a man of substance, it’s not hard to discern what zhongli’s hobbies may be.

it’s a lie and you know it.

there was only ever one place he chose to go to on days like today, anyway, where the clouds hang low and dark in the sky. they cast a temporary shadow over the world, the greenery and water mingled in a soothing dance with the air.

the ambience is lost on you as you climb the stairs of the pavilion, turning towards the veranda with rocks in your boots. he sits behind a thin screen that hangs down to block the rain, back turned to you. there’s a golden pot of tea next to him that still steams.

“___, it’s nice to see you.”

you haven’t said anything yet, but it’d be foolish to assume he didn’t hear you coming. your chest feels heavy as you try to take casual steps forward.

“you as well.” the words come out in a mumble as he finally turns towards you, eyes clear of suspicion. but, you’re sure not to mistake this as trust — zhongli must be aware of the bittersweet reunion between you and your sibling, regardless of his status of retirement.

“i hadn’t been expecting you.”

a small smile quirks his lip as he raises a hand, silently calling to a member of the waitstaff. a brief recount of your sudden arrival is all that’s needed before he places an order of your favourite beverage — a pot of sweet herbal tea you’d shared many times before.

you bite back your words and nod your thanks.

there is no barrier between you, not that there ever has been — you are alike in your positions of rebirth, and share the sentiments that come with leaving something cherished behind. but as you settle into the chair across from him, he can’t shake the notion of a strong connection beginning to sever.

“recently,” he clears his throat softly, naturally in a way only he can manage. “how have you been fairing?"

“i.. could have been better. but, that’s just how it’s been lately."

zhongli nods. his eyes do all they can to ease your tense figure from a distance, gentle as he says, “…after this all, i hope you’re alright.”

somewhat unbeknownst to you, his words are truthful. while aware of the situation on your mind, he is prepared to withstand any reaction you might have; whether you choose to forgive him or would rather never see him again, it is nothing he doesn’t see coming.

but the moment you pale hearing those words, he almost reconsiders.

“so i guess it's true?” you pause to let the waitstaff place a teapot in front of you, decorated with the delicate purple leaves of a wisteria tree. zhongli takes note of the way you put aside your gloomy expression to send the member a comforting smile while they pour your beverage, reassuringly easing the tension they must inevitably feel interrupting such a situation.

he’s looking into the depths of his tea cup when you try to meet his eyes again. you may be alone once again, but the awkwardness has not disappeared.

“…don’t you have an excuse?” your hands wrap around the warm cup in front of you, your eyes jumping from one place to another, not in panic, but disbelief. zhongli sees the way your words affect you, the bitter poison they must taste like after holding them in, the anxiety in knowing that he may be just the type of person you hope he isn’t.

he pauses for a few moments, the pattering rain insistent on the overhang not far from you. but he will not ever be the one to deny you the luxury of the truth.

“no.”

he states his answer simply, deliberately taking a sip of the tea that has long gone cold in his cup. in that moment, zhongli would use any means necessary to avoid seeing the heartbreak in your eyes.

“it was a contract.” he says, finally placing the cup down and breaking the defining silence. your eyes find his quickly.

he wants to tell you. tell you what? that you have every right to be angry with him for hiding the information you seek? that despite the horrible and deceiving man he’s become, he’s begun to realise that he wants you to be there to forgive him? there is little within the scope of reality that he is truly capable of hiding from you, and he curses the world every day that it has to include this.

“i sincerely apologise.” zhongli’s voice is low, the retired god seen nowhere in the regret that lines it. “but i cannot break a contract, not even for you.”

zhongli has always been a meticulous man; his suits are ironed in a specific way that he prefers to handle himself. he will talk about operas for hours if not prompted to stop, yet will only ever attend showings at one theatre. he is the same with the agreements he makes, steadfast and reliable in everything he does.

you only wish he could make an exception just this once.

words are jumbled in your throat, different scenarios and endings fighting to come out on top — you want to say something. there is no reason to give into the satisfaction that would come with walking away. yet when you open your mouth, your words escape you.

what do i want to say?

you walk away only when you’ve convinced yourself that it must be better for both of you this way, to separate yourself from the idea of him so you can finally see the entirety of him.

as your figure disappears below the veranda’s stairs, zhongli feels little. he knows there should be a cold bite, a flicker from deep within him that only comes when someone may never return, yet there is not even a moment of hesitation. he reminds himself that he should be prepared to see to whatever conclusion you reach.

silently, he pushes the cup in front of him to the centre of the table with the intention of leaving it to be collected. instead, he can’t help but notice how it rests next to its companion in the set, designed to be the counterpart to yours.

the artist had clearly intended the two to symbolise night and day, yours painted a deep purple complimented by an old wisteria tree — his, however, remains a golden colour, and contains the image of a blooming glaze lily.

he tears his eyes away, fighting against the fear of you, too, leaving for good.

[beelovesnct]

𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐩 [𝐞𝐩. 𝟑]

— episode 3

The episode begins with the introduction of the two trained professionals who will be evaluating the personalities of the members; Aiko could be seen bowing and clapping respectfully together with the boys.

They began by introducing what the HEXACO test was, and when asked if they had any idea of what it could be, Jisung answered that it might be related to the MBTI, while Jaemin and Jeno revealed they thought it was for psychopaths (with Aiko scoffing and commenting, "You're both crazy," under her breath.)

Before proceeding with their assessment, both professionals put out a disclaimer that the test was not one hundred percent accurate, rather simply something that a person could relate to and say, "Oh I feel that way sometimes,"

Jaemin's assessment: Mr. My Way

They first examined Jaemin's character, explaining that he's someone who abides by his own rules and standards, and makes it clear whenever those are not met. In short, he's a character who does things his way.

Immediately, the dreamies reacted with subtle shock, amazed at how close the results were to his actual personality; even Aiko was nodding her head along with their explanation, especially about how he was such a complicated character overall and had a hard time dissecting what he was actually like.

The host noticed this, and asked why she was nodding so much; Aiko then stated that "Even I'm surprised by Jaemin every time; he's like an onion that can reform its layers, sometimes he shows everything and other times nothing at all."

The professionals and even Jaemin himself were surprised by Aiko's specification, "That's exactly how we would point it out." They complimented her use of words.

Jeno's assessment: A scholar who gets hurt easily

For Jeno, they revealed that he's the type of person who holds everything in; so when asked about his infamous nickname, "Jeno-jam", he revealed that he was actually hurt the first few times when he was teased as such, only getting over it when he finally viewed it as a positive thing—something that was unique only to him.

When asked who called him that name, Renjun admitted that besides Aiko, everyone called him that even way back in their trainee days to which Jeno then confirmed.

Aiko was suddenly asked why she didn't tease Jeno, she replied with a stutter, "H-He was funny then," to which Haechan immediately responded with "Don't lie," bringing laughter to everyone.

Regaining her flustered composure, Aiko tried explaining again, "Just, he's reminded by them anyway, me teasing him would be a waste of time," She shrugged her shoulders cooly, but it failed to conceal her true emotions as the tip of her ears started turning red; especially with Mark's revelation,

"Actually, Aiko came to me one night when we were preparing for debut, she told me if I could tell the kids to stop teasing Jeno because she was worried his confidence would decrease,"

A bunch of oohs and aahs came after the confession; Aiko rolled her eyes but covered her face after, earning a "Tsundere!" comment from Jaemin.

Jeno simply smiled and side-hugged Aiko who was still crouched over with her face in her hands.

Ako was once again complimented, making the host joke if she was doing this to get more screen time, to which the boys denied altogether, "Aiko is really like that, she's observant. She knows when we're having problems without us having even to tell her, she has like a detector of some sort." Renjun said with much sincerity, making everyone nod in understanding (and Aiko embarrassed again so she settled on putting her entire face on Jeno's shoulder).

With such timing, the professionals intervened that that was exactly what they got from Aiko's personality test as well, and so the segment moved to Aiko's examination.

Aiko's assessment: Individualistic Tsundere

After seeing Aiko's HEXACO results, the members let out a sound of surprise, as much like Jeno's, Aiko's chart was very unconventional.

"As we can see, Aiko-nim's results were a 3-3 situation; her humility, emotionality, and conscientiousness were very high, but her extroversion, openness, and agreeableness were all lower than what is of standard."

"This is the reason why we gave you the title, 'Individualistic Tsundere'", they continued, and once again, even just from the title, the members gasp and showed their agreement.

"You are very individualistic, and that simply means that you enjoy being alone, and you actually value your alone time. For that reason, you are very independent and often won't turn to others for help." They began their explanation, the set quiet as all of the dreamies paid attention to what they were saying about their precious member, only nodding whenever they agreed with what was revealed.

"Wah, why is that so accurate," Renjun commented, his voice low as he glanced at Aiko who has kept silent right from the start when her results were shared.

"I've heard that you're lazy, right? Fans call you a cat because you laze around too much," The comparison brought a smile to Aiko's face as she nodded, confirming their thoughts.

"But I think that you're not lazy at all; as a result of your low extraversion and high conscientiousness, you're very picky with what you put your efforts in. In short, you're practical. You share the same 'My Way' attitude with Jaemin-nim, that if something does not interest you, you tend to back off completely."

The dreamies, once more, portrayed an appalled expression; this time, even Aiko was not excused as she felt immensely exposed to that particular revelation.

"Yah, this is so crazy," Mark chimed in, shaking his head in disbelief.

The professionals continued, seemingly pleased with the reaction, "There were some essay portions in the test, and Aiko-nim answered some of them—which I assume was in line with your interests, with essays that were good enough for college applications."

"Like with the David Statue, she made references to the art of human anatomy, and even stated possible reasons as to why Michaelangelo sculpted it; it was an amazing read,"

"But for those that she might have not found so interesting, she simply stated some simple phrases that weren't at all expounded."

"One question asked if you would steal money in the instance that you would never get caught, Aiko-nim simply stated, 'I'm rich enough, so no thank you.'" The disclosure didn't fail to bring smiles and laughter to both the members and hosts, finding Aiko's savage response too amusing. Aiko simply shook her head as she hid her face behind her hands once again, only regaining her composure once the topic was changed.

"It's also because of your lack of extroversion that you tend to hide how you care for others. You have really high emotionality, which means you have the tendency to be an empath—detecting whenever a person is down even if they don't show it; so you help them in any way you can—especially if they're important to you, but often would brush it off as nothing, hence we gave you the title, 'Tsundere'"

Jaemin nodded vigorously, displaying full-on his 'my way' attitude as he screamed his thoughts, "That's RIGHHHHHT."

The dreamies, though amused with Jaemin, sided with his thoughts, with Jisung declaring one particular story from their trainee days.

“Noona always sees right through any of us. She'd buy medicine from across the street during break times just so we won't have to suffer. She would then always lie that she already had those medicines with her, but she didn't know that we could see her right from the window."

At Jisung's confession, everyone visibly cooed; adoration in their eyes as they looked at Aiko (who waved her hands in front of her, trying to deny the accusation, but the dreamies won't let her have it). Jaemin, who was beside her, ruffled her hair fondly.

"With that, there are a lot of benefits with having you on the team, one of which is making sure that everybody's doing okay behind the scenes, but I do have a tip for you, Ms. Tsundere." The laughing seized, as the professional's tone was somber; Aiko listened intently, her face morphed into seriousness.

"Since you value independence, you have a tendency to keep all your problems in. You have no problem helping others, but you have a problem with them helping you. Remember that you are never a burden, so you can lean on others too."

For the nth time, all the dreamies portrayed an immense gesture of agreement, either commenting, "That's right, Aiko, stop holding everything in," "Be more like Jaeman"; or simply nodding their heads as they glanced at the neko-member, relieved that she heard those words outside of their own team (which means she'd probably take their advice since she views that there are no biases).

Aiko simply showed a smile, "I'll take that to heart, thank you." She responded politely.

The personality examination finished for Aiko and then continued to the other members until the host told everyone that it was the time for the next activity.

[rhubarbbaby]

Strawberries and Art 4

Jihoon x Y/N

Genre: College AU, Fluff, Smut (y´all can visit me in horny jail) Word Count: 6,3k Summary: Like every passionate art student, you spent most of your time immersed in your drawings and paintings. The day you meet Jihoon, your everyday life suddenly gets a lot more exciting…

All chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

Chapter 4

When the two of you entered your apartment you took both of your jackets and threw them over one of your kitchen chairs. It was weird showing him your living space after only having met him a few days ago. You were not a tidy person…paint, drawings, blank pieces of paper were scattered all over your apartment. Even though he was aware that there were still oh so many things he didn´t know about you (yet) Jihoon instantly recognized you everywhere. Every item in your apartment screamed you. The small potted plant on your window sill, a blue hairclip on your kitchen table, the seemingly empty bottles of paint that you had left in the sink. All of those things added up to you like puzzle pieces.

Only now realizing the intimacy of the moment, you became nervous again. For a moment the silence between you was filled with uncertainty and a hint of awkwardness. He had never been at your place and neither you nor he knew how to act. God, you really should´ve tidied up yesterday.

“Uhm, you want a glass of water or something?” you finally broke the silence. “Yeah, sure.” His voice sounded a bit distracted but because you were trying to hide the shakiness in your own voice you didn´t notice it too much. You filled two glasses with water and put them on the kitchen table. Jihoon was not looking at you. He was focused on the wall that was connecting your kitchen with your small living room, which basically only consisted of a sofa and a TV that you only rarely used. On the wall you had hung up some of your work. Not because you specifically liked it, there was simply not enough space where you could have kept all of your drawings. The wall was stuffed; some of the paintings were even overlapping each other. The thought of him seeing your work was making you so nervous you wished to vanish so you would never have to look him in the eyes again to see his reaction. What if he didn´t like your work? You couldn´t think of anything worse in that moment. But at the very same time you couldn´t keep yourself from staring at his side profile. He really was astonishingly beautiful.

“Did you draw these?” he asked you, still looking at your paintings. “Yup.” “All of them?” “Yeah..” “I…I´m not often speechless but wow I really don´t know what to say.” He turned around to look at you again. “Are they that bad?” you forced out a giggle. He stared at you, he knew you were joking but your voice suddenly didn´t sound confident at all. Your eyes were fixated on the floor; you were trying to avoid eye contact. “Y/N, these are fucking amazing.” He said softly, a smile appearing on his face. He looked so sincere. Accepting compliments had never been one of your strengths but the relief of realizing he actually liked your work paired with the fact that the compliment was coming from Jihoon himself made you grin. “Thank you.” “Don´t thank me. I should thank you for letting me look at them.” “Now you´re exaggerating.” “No I´m not.” “You are!” “Ok, maybe. But you just look too cute when you´re flustered.” You just stared at him for a second, wide eyed, cheeks rosy and hot, still grinning. When you couldn´t bear the tension between the two of you anymore you hid your face in the palms of your hands. “Jihoon, can you please stop.” He chuckled and took two steps in your direction just to put one of his hands on your hip to get you closer to him, while his other hand tried to drag away your own hands from your face. “I´m not doing anything, Y/N. No idea what you talking about.” Obviously having way too much fun teasing you, he was beaming. You had your head tilted to the ground, so you still wouldn´t have to look at his face. “You know exactly what you´re doing.” Your heart was beating so fucking fast and your breathing was shaky but you couldn´t help but giggle at the situation. Why did the bastard always have to tease you?? “I swear I´m innocent!” You were looking up at him again, both of you were grinning, and if you would´ve paid a bit more attention to his breathing you would´ve realized that he wasn´t as calm as you thought. “Innocent, my ass.” You shook your head to accentuate your point. He let out a hearty laugh at your choice of words just to pull you even closer into him at the same time. He now had both of his hands on your hips which had made you put your hands on his arms to steady yourself and oh Jesus you could actually feel his muscles through his shirt. Raising one eyebrow, still smiling at you, he said “If the lady would be so kind to tell me what she is accusing me of, I might be able to change my behavior.” “You´re just…” you started your sentence but you couldn´t get yourself to finish what you wanted to say. The situation, the tension, him…Everything was too much, so you just tried to hide your face on his shoulder. “I´m just what? Continue.” He urged you on but he also held you close to him with putting one of his hands on your lower back. “You´re…you´re just making me so nervous and I don´t even know how to react.” You whispered against his shoulder. He didn´t say anything he just pulled you into an even tighter hug. One hand on your lower back, the other one stroking your hair. “I´m sorry. But you just look too cute when you´re blushing.” “Jihoon!” He chuckled and you could feel the vibrations of it too. “Sorry.” You stayed like this for a while, your bodies pressed together, him stroking your hair. You were so close to him you were able to feel his heart beat in his chest. Your cheeks were still a pretty shade of red and you still were a tiny bit nervous but your heartbeat was finally slowing down again and had started to align with his. You were sure you could´ve stayed like this forever; hugging him in your kitchen while beams of sunlight were coming in through the window.

“Y/N?” “Mhm.” “Can I kiss you?” You lifted your head off his shoulder to look at him. Your eyes were wide, startled by his request but as soon as you saw the tiny bit of insecurity in his eyes you realized that no you hadn´t imagined that, and you also hadn´t misheard, Jihoon really had just asked to kiss you. You didn´t have to think about it, there was probably nothing you wanted more in this exact moment so you simply just nodded with a slight smile. In a second his lips were on yours, his hand was now holding your face. His lips were so soft, and he tasted so damn good and for a moment you forgot about everything. You forgot about how minutes ago that same man you were kissing now had been able to turn you into a blushing mess, you forgot you were standing in your messy apartment, hell you even forgot about your assignment. You just felt his body against yours and how perfectly the two of you molded together, you felt how tight you were holding him, how he was holding you even tighter and fuck you actually felt his lips on yours. When he slid his tongue inside of your mouth, you couldn´t stop yourself from letting out a small sigh which made him chuckle against you.

He eventually pulled away after what had felt like a way too short eternity. He fondly stared at you just to turn his head to look at your drawings again. He still had his hand on your face stroking your cheek when he said: “On a serious note, you´re really talented. Like seriously.” You hugged him tighter, you couldn´t see his smile when you did so. And maybe, just maybe he was blushing a bit too. “Thank you.” “I should be thanking you for drawing me. In some years people are going to pay you lots of money for that." “Oh my god will you stop it already.” You giggled against his chest.   “Never.” You just stood there for a few more moments, both of you not wanting to let go. Being close to him made you feel comfortable and excited at the same time. You could still feel the beating of your heart very distinctively and your stomach was doing things but you also felt at ease. Fuck you had such a crush on this man.   “Ok so like do I have to sit still on a chair or how does this work?” Jihoon ripped you out of your thoughts. “Basically yes.” You giggled and softly pushed yourself away while gesturing to the kitchen table. It felt weird not to touch him anymore. The second you had let go of him, you wanted nothing more than to hug him again and nestle your face against his neck and fuck you really wanted to kiss him again. “Uhm, my desk is really small so I think we should just stay here.” “Perfect.” He sat down at the kitchen table, smirking up at you. He looked so fucking cocky. “Give me a second; I need to get my stuff.” You stuttered, still a bit perplex because of the kiss.

Had this really just happened? You stumbled to your bedroom where you had your desk, on which you kept most of your drawing utensils. Quickly you grabbed all the things you needed. Your mind was foggy, still in denial of what had just happened. Coming back to the kitchen you sat down in the chair opposite of Jihoon and took out all the items that you needed. You tried very hard not to look at him, fuck you swore you´ve never been as nervous as at that exact moment. How were you supposed to draw a straight line after just having kissed him?

“You ready?” you asked, your voice too quiet to sound confident. “Born ready.” He grinned. “Just please make me look handsome.” You playfully rolled your eyes at him. “Are you fishing for compliments, Jihoon?” “I don´t know…is it working?” he chuckled. “You already know you´re handsome. I don´t have to tell you that.” You laughed. “So it was working.” He winked at you. “Shut up.” You averted your gaze from his face, so he wouldn´t see the blush that was covering your cheeks again. He just snickered at your remark but kept looking at you, never turning his eyes off of you.

“Can we talk while you´re drawing or do I have to be quiet so you can concentrate?” “We can talk. I´ll try to pay attention but don´t be mad if I get distracted.” “I could never be mad at you, sweetie.” You nearly dropped the pencil you had just picked up. “Jihoon! Stop calling me that.” He had both of his arms crossed over the table and was leaning forward to grin at you. “You don´t like it?” “Oh my god Jihoon, just stop teasing me.” You said while trying to hide a smile. He threw his hands into the air defensively. “I swear this wasn´t my intention. I´ll stop.” His face was serious but the corner of his mouth was twitching, trying to hold back a smile. After looking at you for a second he added: “I´m sorry, Sweetie.” “Jihoon!” No longer being able to hide his amusement, he let out a deep laugh. That kind of laugh that made his eyes disappear. And even though you were still nervous and blushing you couldn´t help but join in. “I´m sorry Y/N. I´ll try to stop. But you really don´t have to be embarrassed. You do look very pretty when you´re blushing. Seriously.” You didn´t avoid his eyes this time. Why did it feel so intimate to just look him in the eyes? Your breathing wasn´t exactly regular and you felt like your tummy was full of butterflies who were trying out new break dance moves. “Thank you.” Your voice sounded so soft and Jihoon could hear the shyness in it but there was just nothing more adorable than you in that moment, or so he thought. He wouldn´t mind teasing you for hours, hell he´d love that.

“Should I tilt my head a certain way?” “No not really, just try to look my way.” “So I´m getting a free pass to just keep staring at you. Awesome.” “That was just cheesy.” You giggled not looking at him because you had already started to outline the shape of his head on your piece of paper. “But you liked it.” He stated. “I wish I had your ego.” “I swear it´s not as big as it seems.” “Not sure I believe you.” You shot a glance at him as you said so. He didn´t say anything for a moment, only the scraping of your pencil on the paper was filling up the room. Of course you couldn´t have known but Jihoon was contemplating. Contemplating whether he should open up to you. He liked flirting with you, making you blush, fuck he loved kissing you and he´d be lying if he said he hadn´t thought about doing other things to you… but he also couldn´t ignore your seriousness, the way you seemed to be really interested in what he was saying. He couldn´t ignore how you were actually listening to him talk about the things he was passionate about. And he definitely couldn´t ignore the fact that he was nervous because you had only gotten to know this cocky, overly confident side of him. He wanted to get to know you. But he also wanted you to get to know him.

“I´m insecure about a lot of stuff too, you know.” His voice had come out softer than he wanted it to. You didn´t look up from your paper. But he knew you were listening, you always were. “I´m very insecure about my music.” He continued. “I really want to play some songs for you. Now that you showed me your work, it´d only be fair. But I´m afraid you won´t like it.” You stopped drawing for a second and looked at him, puzzled by his honesty. “You really don´t have anything to worry about. I already know I´m going to love your music. Every piece of art, every song or whatever is always a self-portrait of the artist themselves, in some sort of way at least. And I like you, why wouldn´t I like your music?” He stared at you, a hint of disbelief glistening in his eyes. Jihoon had been so sure he would never meet a person who knew all the right words, had been so sure he would never meet a person who would be able to give him a feeling of security just from a sentence. But there you were, sitting in front of him concentrated on your drawing, not aware of how much a difference your words have made. There you were: tenant of all beautiful words he had always wanted to hear. Jihoon didn´t consider himself romantically minded but holy shit you were making him reconsider. “Thank you for saying that, sweetie. It means a lot.” You smiled. This time the pet name didn´t make you blush as much.

You had been drawing for about an hour now. Both of you hadn´t said anything for the last few minutes. The silence was comfortable and neither one of you had felt the urge to break it. Jihoon kept looking at you, admiring your concentrated face while you took in every single one of his features. It felt so right to draw him, like everything that had ever happened in your life had lead up to this exact moment. His face was full of beautiful lines and curves and you saw beautiful shapes everywhere. It amazed you how perfectly and neatly all those sometimes imperfect lines were connected to form something even more beautiful. Yes it felt right to draw him but you also weren´t able to ignore the tiny hint of anxiety that was sitting in your chest. You really wanted this portrait to be perfect, not because you wanted a good grade (that too) but because you wanted him to like it.

Meanwhile Jihoon was still looking at your wall full of drawings. “Did you hang up that drawing of that poppy field you did?” he finally asked. You smiled to yourself, realizing he had actually remembered the paintings you had told him about. “I gave it to my mom. It´s back at home.” “By the way I still remember you telling me about that one hedgehog drawing you did as a kid. Do you have that around somewhere?” he beamed at you. You groaned playfully “I told you it´s not even good!” “I just wanna see a cute hedgehog drawing. Is that too much to ask for?” he was pouting and you giggled. “Maybe I´ll look for it later.” “You´re the best.” A childish grin settling back onto his face. Trying to hide your own smile you just continued to shade the left side of his face.

After the second hour had passed Jihoon seemed to have grown a bit bored with sitting still the entire time. “What are you thinking about?” “Not much honestly. I´m contemplating if I should use another pencil for that part or if I…” “You ever do nude paintings?” You looked up from your drawing to look at him. You had definitely not expected him to ask a question like that. If this was a comedy show, you would´ve comically spit out your drink out of shock. “You´re volunteering or something?” you had no clue how you did it but you somehow managed to make your voice sound very casual as if his question hadn´t really affected you much. Obviously amused by your attempt to flirt he raised an eyebrow. “You really just want to get me naked Y/N don´t you?” This was not fair! Why was he so cocky? When he saw you trying to hide your blushing cheeks with staring (a bit too hard) at your drawing he chuckled. “I´m just joking…” he said softly and waited for you to stop eyeing the piece of paper in front of you. When you glanced up at him he added “Unless…” while wiggling his eyebrows. Yes your face felt hot from blushing and yes your hands had started to shake a bit again but you couldn´t help but laugh. “Jihoon you are the worst.” You giggled. “Nah I´m not.” He smiled at you. “No you´re not.” You smiled back.

“Nah but seriously. You ever do nude paintings? I´m just curious.” “Yeah sometimes. But I only ever draw women.” “Why?” “I don´t know. I guess I just find the female body aesthetically more pleasing.” “Makes two of us.” You giggled “Why did I know you would say something like that?” “Because I´m a smart man who appreciates women?” he smirked. “How are you so cocky?” “Cocky? What do you mean? I´m just being honest.” He dramatically put his hand over his heart as if he was outraged you´d think something like that of him. You snickered “Yeah right…” “You don´t think I´m smart?” You were still smiling, but your eyes were focused on your drawing again. “I didn´t say that.” “So you don´t think I appreciate women?” “I didn´t…” He interrupted you before you could finish your sentence. “You know, I could show you. That I appreciate women I mean.” He was smirking when you looked up from your drawing. Had he really just said that? You let out a nervous laugh “Jihoon, please stop teasing me.” You again hid your face behind your hands. “I mean…I meant what I said.” He chuckled. “But yes I´ll stop, sweetie. I know you have to finish your drawing.” “Thank you.” You mumbled as you continued to draw. His words echoed in your ears...I meant what I said.

“I think I´m done.” You smiled at him and slid the piece of paper over the table for him to look at. He looked at your drawing. He had always been rather confident when it came to his looks. He considered himself averagely looking. He had small insecurities like everyone else, sometimes he thought his eyes were too small and not always did he like the way his eyebrows went or how his nose bent. Normal people stuff. But he was looking at your drawing of him now and all those insecurities seemed to have vanished. You had really captured his face perfectly. He didn´t look perfect he still thought his nose could be a bit smaller but for some reason the drawing looked so delicate, so soft. He could see you had drawn it. He was sure he would´ve been able to recognize any of your drawings anywhere. He looked at his face and his heart started beating a tad bit too fast, because he realized you had looked at every tiny detail of his face and still decided to draw this soft, beautiful version of him. Hell you´d definitely get an A. But he couldn´t care less about that. All his mind was focused on was realizing that this was actually how you were seeing him. He was sure he would never be able to completely fathom that.

“You don´t like it.” your voice made him look up from the drawing. “What?” he wasn´t sure he had heard you right. “You´ve been staring at it for so long…you don´t like it do you?” “Sweetie, you´re crazy.” “What?” now it was your turn to be confused. He just got up and walked over to you. Lingering in front of you for what must´ve been at least half a second he looked down at you still sitting on your chair and then he simply bent down and pressed his lips onto yours. It took you a short moment to reciprocate the kiss. You were still confused. Hadn´t he just called you crazy? Deepening the kiss he was reaching down to cup your face with his hand. Just as you had completely immersed yourself in the kiss he pulled away and stared into your eyes. “How the fuck are you gonna hand me the most perfect fucking drawing I´ve ever seen and still think I´m not gonna like it? Huh? How does that make sense?” “I…” you stammered. “You really have no clue how goddamn talented you are.” He didn´t even let you think of something to respond before he was kissing you again. This time you were quick to move your lips against his. You were still sitting when he grabbed your hips and arms to pull you up against him. He held your hips so tight that it almost hurt but fuck it also felt just so so good.

You sighed against his mouth, which made him pull you even closer to his body. The kiss felt so good but you also weren´t just able to forgot about how he actually liked your portrait of him. Had he actually called your drawing “the most perfect fucking drawing I´ve ever seen”? You had been so worried he wouldn´t like it, only for you to find out he loved it. You giggled against his lips. “What?” he pulled away, his hand still on your face, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. “It´s just…I´m really happy you like the drawing.” “I love it.” he replied, his voice so sincere. “Thank you for letting me draw you.” “Don´t you dare thank me. I literally just had to sit on a chair.” “I mean yeah…but still…thank you.” “I said you shouldn´t thank me. Why are you never listening to me Y/N?” he jokingly groaned. He really wasn´t giving you a choice was he? You looked at him, trying to hold back a laugh before you started: “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, tha…” He cut you off by kissing you yet again. His mouth finding yours in a matter of seconds. The kiss was more rough this time, he didn´t waste time to slide his tongue inside of your mouth. It took your breath away. “Is this really what I have to do to stop you from thanking me?” “Maybe” you grinned. He shook his head as if he was disappointed before hurriedly pressing his mouth back onto yours.

When you felt his hands wander under the hem of your shirt and touch your bare skin you shivered. He quickly pulled away “Is this ok?” You didn´t trust yourself to use your voice so you simply took both of his hands and slid them further under your shirt. When you leaned in to kiss him again he smiled against you. He couldn´t believe his luck. You felt so good against him, so delicate, so soft. He let his hands travel further under your shirt to feel your bare skin. You felt so warm and when he was tracing his fingers over your side he could feel goosebumps forming on your skin. As you wrapped your arms around his neck just to slightly pull at his hair he groaned against your lips. God he really wanted you so bad. You still weren´t able to fully grasp the situation. You were actually kissing Jihoon. The boy you had only known for a few days, the boy you could listen to for hours because everything in him was full of passion, wholeheartedness and artistry. You didn´t know a lot about tunes or rhythm but you knew Jihoon embodied music and you couldn´t get enough.

Your bodies were glued together, not even a thin sheet of paper would have fit between the two of you, so when he walked you a few steps back until your hips were colliding with the table, you had to hold onto his arms and neck for balance. When he reached down to grab the back of your thighs to hoist you up onto the kitchen table you let out a tiny squeak of surprise which made him chuckle. “I´m not gonna let you fall. Don´t worry.” You were now sitting on the table, slightly looking down at him between your thighs, his hands under your shirt on your bare hips again. “You sure?” you raised your eyebrows. “Very sure, sweetie.” With that he started giving you light open mouthed-kisses on your neck that made you pull on his hair in return.

When he found that sweet spot right under your ear that made you see stars you gently moaned. “Fuck, Jihoon.” Without looking up at you he mumbled “What is it, sweetie?” When you didn´t answer he paused to look at you while cupping your face. “You want me to stop?” Yes he was teasing you; you could easily tell by the grin that had spread all over his face, he knew he was making you feel good. But his question was sincere.  You knew asking for consent and respecting boundaries were the bare minimum but fuck could this man be any more perfect? “God, no” you said and pulled him in for another kiss.

Jihoon´s hands wandered down to rub your thighs through your pants which made your hips jerk forward against his stomach. The growing heat in your abdomen robbed you of the ability to form a clear thought, you weren´t thinking straight, hell you weren´t thinking at all. You had slipped your hands under his shirt and were running them over his back. The combination of feeling his skin on yours and him continuously sucking on your neck and your lips made you let out a soft moan. He couldn´t believe you were making those sweet sounds just because of him, for him. “Sweetie?” his breath tickled your ear and made you squirm. “Mhm.” “Can I eat you out?” Your eyes widened at his request. Never had someone asked you something like this so boldly. When he didn’t receive an answer right away he slowed down and looked at you. “You don´t have to say yes. I didn´t mean to make you uncomfortable, sweetie.” “You didn´t make me uncomfortable. I just…you´re the first guy to ever ask me for this…” “Seriously?” You just nodded. And in that exact moment Jihoon wanted nothing more than to ruin you. You looked so innocent, so fucking pretty. “Let me take care of you?” he asked. You smiled at his choice of words. This man made you so so nervous, and you didn´t want to, couldn´t ignore the heat in your abdomen. “Please.” You whispered. A smile spread on his face and he gave you a quick peck on your lips. “Lie down.” His voice sounded so husky, so determined, he didn´t leave space for objection. He gently pushed your upper body onto the table so only your legs were hanging down. He quickly picked up your drawing from besides your head and put it on a chair nearby. “We don’t want this to get wrinkles, don´t we?” You let out a small giggle and before you could reply he had hitched up your shirt to leave kisses on your stomach. He didn´t waste time and pulled your shirt up to your chest so the only think covering your breasts was your bra. His mouth was still all over your upper body when he yanked down your bra so your nipples were met with cold air. You had closed your eyes and when he gently pulled on one of your nipples he could see how your mouth fell slightly open just to let out a soft moan. “Such pretty tits.” He groaned. His voice was so deep and he was so close to you, you could feel the vibrations of it on your stomach. You could´ve sworn this was the hottest thing you had ever heard in your entire life.

When you felt his hands pull down the zipper of your pants you tried to lift up your hips as so to help him but he only used his second hand to push you back down. “You´re so impatient, sweetie. Let me do the work.” You whimpered at his words. He was slowly pushing down your pants, including your panties while kissing down your legs. After you had heard the thud of your pants hitting the floor Jihoon hooked his arms under your knees. Your pussy lay open and unprotected before him but he didn´t pay any attention to it. You could feel the air on your folds and the wetness that had gathered between your legs. He was grabbing and clawing at your thighs and leaving kitten-licks all over your skin. As he got closer to your core he bit down gently. It felt so good, you weren´t able to hold back your moans. The noises that were coming from you urged him on even further. When he finally got to your core he looked down at your pussy. He didn´t touch you yet, he just looked down at you. You felt already so hot from arousal, you didn´t think it was possible but your face started blushing even more.  

“You ok?” he asked while caressing your legs softly. “Fuck, just touch me, Jihoon.” You whined and you were sure that with anyone else you would´ve felt embarrassed to sound this desperate but this was Jihoon. “Say please.” He grinned. “Please.” In any other situation you would´ve laughed at his words but you would´ve been lying if you said it didn´t turn you on. “You´re such a good girl.” He said when he finally ran his fingers up your folds. You bucked your hips against his hand at the sudden touch which just made him chuckle lightly. Your breathing was heavy and he could see your chest heaving up and down. Yes you were impatient for him to finally touch you where you needed it the most, but holy shit Jihoon was just as impatient to put his mouth on your beautiful pussy.

When he couldn´t hold back any longer he pushed your legs up even further so they were close to your shoulders and finally put his mouth over your folds. Your legs trembled at the first contact. And because patience definitely wasn´t one of Jihoon´s strengths he immediately started sucking on your clit and lapping up your wetness. It felt so good you thought you were turning mad. Your hands had clung to the sides of the table but now you had started to pull at his hair desperately, how could his mouth feel this good?? After a harsh pull on his hair he groaned against your pussy. “You taste so fucking good, sweetie.” You were not capable of forming a reply so you just let out another moan.

The heat in your lower body was so unbearable, so big, you felt like you would burst into flames any minute. As he started to suck on your clit more harshly you were sure you wouldn´t last another 5 minutes. Your orgasm was already so close and you couldn’t help but pull his face even closer to your core. He understood and continued sucking and licking your clit in the same rhythm. “Jihoon, I´m gonna cum.” You mumbled in between moans. He didn´t lift his head just let out an approving moan against your core. And then you came with Jihoon´s mouth over your pussy and your hands gripping his hair and for a moment you thought you would burst into tears from pleasure.

After your hips had stilled he gently put down your legs and pulled you back up into a sitting positon just to hug you close. Your breathing was still not back to normal and your legs were shaking a bit. Jihoon was soothingly running his hands up and down your back. “You good?” he finally broke the silence. “Better than good.” “You really are adorable you know.” “Just shut up.” You giggled.

Neither of you had a clue how much time had passed while holding each other. Your pants were still scattered on the floor and both of your hair was a mess but you couldn´t have imagined a more perfect moment. As you looked out of the window behind Jihoon´s shoulders you saw that the sun had already started to set and it was already getting dark. Without much thought you asked: “Hey uhm, do you maybe wanna stay the night?” Jihoon looked up at you. You really were gorgeous. The truth is he would´ve probably sold his kidney to spend a night with you but he also knew he had classes tomorrow morning that he still had to do some homework for. Life wasn´t fair. He ran his fingers over your jawline while looking at your face. “Fuck, sweetie I wish I could. But I still have to do some work for school.” “Oh my god I´m so sorry. And I kept you here all day just to finish my own assignment. I´m sorry.” He shook his head and gave you a quick peck on the lips. “Hush. That´s bullshit. I was just selfish.” “Huh?” “I just wanted a pretty portrait of myself.” He grinned and you let out a laugh. “I´m sure you´ll get an A by the way.” He added. “I really hope so.”

After you had put on your pants again and had fixed your ponytail you were standing next to Jihoon at your front door. “Can I see you again soon?” he asked. “Only if you say please.” “God you´re such a brat.” He chuckled and in a second his lips had found yours again. You really didn´t want to let him go. “Text me when you get home?” you asked. “Of course, sweetie.”

When he had left you started digging through your old paintings. 

The next day at school you were waiting for him in front of the music building. ”Y/N, what are you doing here?” He immediately pulled you into a hug. “Not happy to see me?” you grinned and started rummaging through your bag. “Of course I am. I´m just surprised.” “I actually need to get going asap because my classes are starting in a minute.” You murmured while still searching for something in your bag. “There it is” you mumbled as you pulled out the small envelope you had prepared. “I actually just wanted to give you this.” Jihoon hesitantly grabbed the piece of paper. “Why…” “I wanted to give you this as a thank you for letting me draw you.” He looked down at the envelope. “What…I told you, you didn´t have to thank me!” “I know but it´s nothing special. I promise!” you said, already turning on your heels to get back to the art building. “I hope you have a wonderful day!”

Jihoon just stood there completely dumbfounded. He opened the envelope right away, out fell two pieces of paper. He picked the smaller one. It was a little note on which you had written words with your neat handwriting:

“Thank you again. I know you said I didn´t have to thank you but still... I also know you really wanted to see that (really bad) hedgehog drawing I did as a kid but I couldn´t find it anymore. So I thought I´d just draw you a new hedgehog. Hope you like it!”

He just stood there. Speechless. And that was a big deal. Jihoon was never speechless. Why couldn´t he stop staring at this drawing of a hedgehog? He didn´t even care about hedgehogs. He was 120 percent sure he had never spent more than two seconds thinking about hedgehogs in his entire life.  But nonetheless he couldn´t stop staring. He of course knew that all this had nothing to do with the hedgehog itself.   And he knew it was ridiculous because he had just met you what was it? Not even a week ago? He knew it, but he also couldn´t keep looking at that small cute painting of a hedgehog. A fucking hedgehog…

Hi! It´s me, Jo. I´d like to thank you for reading my stuff! I really hope you enjoyed it. If you have any feedback, comments, requests, questions please let me know!

[crossbowking]

i could cry .

hi it's me ten minutes later bc i had to physically remove myself from my sitting position and away from my phone

u really did that . u rlly did. took my prompt and RAN WITH IT !! making it so it was about y/n's probable death was a turn i didn't expect!! loved it so much!!

him being taken aback then kinda apprehensive about responding (the thing about time!!) but also wanting to respond but also,, not Knowing What to say bc he doesn't Know what he believes,, so very daryl c:

the detail about the water :( and mentioning the people they lost recently </3 heart: heavy

Their concern was warranted, their trauma valid.

But he didn’t have to like it.

loved this bit sm. then how he made taking care of us his priority:(((( as an audience member to this story i have the tomatoes ready in case reader doesn't push through the fever bc..........

the crying! the crying!! very fitting and the way he held reader made my lil heart pound a tad bit harder<3 he position they're in as he, very eloquently put, "half-holds, half-cradles" reader.... no words<3

man, the "i got ya"s!!! ohmygod!!!!! he doesn't know what else he can possibly say!!! to make what's happening okay!!!!! he's got us!!!!! so special to me<3

im sorry this whole paragraph sent me into fluff orbit:

But then the archer stilled, feeling a funny sort of warmth flood his cheeks. He couldn’t see your face and he didn’t dare look down, but the sincerity in your tone sent his heart thrumming. He quickly deflected the swarm of emotion clogging his throat, hoping you couldn’t feel the sudden racing of his pulse. “Think that’s the fever talkin’,” he countered evenly, the slight waver in his voice betraying him.

YEAHHH GET FLUSTERED BRO IKTR ❗ and try to turn it back to me uh huh okaay uh huh🙄🙄 the "you're my favorite X" compliment never gets old it's such a good fitting choice here <3 also this bit's such a good description of this feeling, the flooding and the thrumming and the clogging and the raising and ughhhh!!! very lovely verbs yesyes <3

Maybe there was a heaven after all.

THAT FLOORED ME !!! my mind was still hung up on him not holding back from showing affection and care now that he's allowed himself to do so (which is so <3 you Know this man so well and girl it Shows /pos) and i just– i had to gasp. i did.

wondrous work as per usual ms. king <3 (pfft get it– miss crossbow king pfffft)

love u v much ty for this, who woulda thought a little ask could turn into this art piece <3 -heaven anon

OKAY, I NEEDED A WHOLE DAMN DAY TO PROCESS THIS ASK.

FIRST OF ALLLLL thank you for inspiring this story!!

SECOND OF ALLLLL thank you for giving such in depth, thoughtful feedback. I swear, when I get asks and comments like this — where people dissect the story and point out specific moments/sentences that really stuck out to them — IT MAKES ME FULLY WEEP AND JUMP AROUND ALL GIDDY LIKE😭

THIRD OF ALLLLL I love you! Thank you for always being so supportive and lovely and just a beautiful human being. I appreciate you so so much!

Thank you again, my sweet💛

P.S. Shoutout to my girl @ladylibby for inspiring that final line!

P.S.S. You called me “Ms. King” and I’m scrEAMING. I’M ABOUT TO LEGALLY CHANGE MY NAME, I SWEAR-

P.S.S.S. If you haven’t read “What Comes After”, click right here!

[rubyofhouserocks]

figayda - the kids are all right (right)

(reposting for formatting reasons)

hi, this is an adorable prompt and was really fun to write. thank you!

ao3 link here

“You want me to teach you how to flirt?”

“Yes. Did you not hear me? Should I speak louder?” Ayda asks, raising her voice slightly.

“No, love, I’m just surprised is all,” Garthy says from where they’re lounging in the Gold Gardens. “After all, it’s not every day your parent-slash-child asks you for love advice. Ah,” Garthy sighs, “they raise you, die, then reincarnate and grow up so fast.”

“Please,” Ayda says, and though her level tone does not betray her, Garthy can tell that she is practically begging, “it is imperative that I learn this skill as quickly as possible.”

“Why’s that?”

“Fig will be arriving in Leviathan shortly,” she responds, hands fidgeting with the scroll that she is holding.

“Fig? The little tiefling girl who runs around with the Bad Kids?” This might be more challenging than Garthy originally assumed; if they remember correctly, Fig was pretty charismatic. She was probably rather experienced at flirting.

“Yes, she is extremely attractive, and I would like to be in a relationship with her.”

“Okay, well, you don’t wanna come on too strong, yeah?” Garthy says, gesturing vaguely with the bottle of mead in between their fingers. “Compliments are nice and all, but you don’t want to overdo it.”

“Is it weird or strange to compliment someone a lot?” Ayda looks nervous, and Garthy suddenly wishes that they could find every person who had ever made her feel bad about herself and personally kick them in the groin.

“No, no, compliments are very kind and wonderful, but flirting is about the chase, all right? It’s supposed to be a back-and-forth, like a dance. If you spend the whole time complimenting the person it’s hard to sustain any…” Garthy gestures with the bottle again, trying to convey the delicate communicative interplay of romantic repartee. It doesn’t quite come across. “Tension.”

“Duly noted. How, specifically, does one build that ‘tension’?” Ayda does not physically do air quotes around the word, but it’s evident enough in her tone.

Garthy thinks about it for a moment. The art of flirting is such a context-dependent one, but they also want to give Ayda actionable instructions. Eventually, they say, “if you can find a way to challenge her somehow, engage her in a little banter or maybe a friendly competition or some such, that can help build that tension you’re looking for.”

“And what do you do once the tension has been established?”

“Well, then you can start getting a little more physical, maybe put a hand on her arm, y’know?” Garthy says, waving the bottle rather dramatically now.

“Got it. I should keep the compliments to a minimum, challenge her to a friendly competition, and then touch her on the arm,” Ayda nods, committing the steps to memory like she’s reading an instruction manual.

“That’s about it, yeah,” Garthy replies, taking a sip of the mead to punctuate the thought.

Just then, the tiefling in question walks into the room.

“Hey Ayda, you look really nice today,” Fig says, voice bright and sincere. Garthy clears their throat. “Oh, and um, hi Garthy.”

“Hello, Fig,” Ayda says, and then opens her mouth as though to say something else. She quickly shuts it again, and Garthy imagines that she had intended to say something effusively kind back to Fig. Garthy maybe should have specified that it’s fine to return compliments, now that they think of it, but they figure that it won’t hurt her to play it cool.

“I’m really excited to visit the library,” Fig continues, not deterred in the slightest by Ayda’s terse greeting. “I can’t believe you’ve worked on it for so long. It’s really amazing.”

“You know, if we were to race to the library, I would probably get there first,” Ayda says matter-of-factly, despite it being a complete non-sequitur. Garthy’s heart clenches at how uniquely Ayda her attempt at following their advice is, all sweet and awkward and heartfelt, and they are filled with renewed affection for the girl. Sure, it might not be the smoothest flirting they’ve ever seen, but Garthy thinks teaching Ayda coy smiles and playful tones would have been above their paygrade.

The only question, then, is whether the advice that Garthy did give her is working; they watch Fig to gauge her reaction to Ayda’s challenge, and they see her frown momentarily, confused. It only lasts an instant, however, before a beaming smile graces Fig’s lips.

“I bet you would, since you’ve got those dope-ass wings and everything—you’re probably, like, built for speed. It’d be cool as hell to see you in action, too.” Then, Fig coughs and looks away nervously, “I mean, everything you do is cool, so…”

Fig’s outpouring of compliments flusters Ayda so much that she accidentally singes the edges of the scroll in her hand.

“Oh,” Ayda says, jaw clenched against some emotion, “that is really nice to hear. Especially coming from you, because…” She stops mid-sentence as she seems to remember Garthy’s advice. “I mean, yes. I am very cool and would definitely beat you in a race.”

It is clearly causing her physical pain not to return the praise.

As Fig and Ayda trail awkwardly into silence, Garthy realizes that it is possible that they have miscalculated the situation entirely. When Ayda reaches out a hand to touch Fig’s arm despite the very-much-not-romantic tension in the room, Garthy realizes that it is possible that they do not know anything about romance at all, because their advice was kind of terrible.

“Fig, darling, would you excuse us for a moment?” Garthy asks, a hand placed lightly on Ayda’s shoulder to steer her into the next room.

“What’s wrong? I was about to touch Fig on the arm.”

“Yeah, I know, that’s why I pulled you out,” Garthy says, scrubbing their palm against their forehead. “Look, forget everything I told you, all right?”

“I do not understand. I followed your advice to the letter,” Ayda frowns, brow furrowed.

“No, lovey, you did great, okay?” Garthy reassures her. “I just don’t think my advice will help you all that much. Listen,” they nod at Fig, who seems to have difficulty sitting still as she waits for Garthy and Ayda’s return. Her eyes keep not-so-surreptitiously sliding over to Ayda every couple of seconds before quickly glancing elsewhere. “I think your best bet is to tell Fig how you feel, honest and straightforward-like.”

Ayda frowns. “Garthy, I would never question the validity of your wisdom, but I do not see how that is different to my behavior in any of my interactions with Fig, save for just now.”

“Yeah, love, that’s sort of the point,” Garthy says. “Fig has said about fifty words to you, and nearly all of them have been about how wonderful you are. I think the rest might have just been prepositions.” They squeeze Ayda’s shoulder. “Frankly, I don’t think there’s anything that will make that girl like you more than you just being yourself.”

“Oh,” Ayda says. “That is…very relieving to hear.” She nods once, determined, and strides back into the room with Fig.

“Fig,” Garthy hears her say, “I think you are incredible in every conceivable way. I would like it very much if you would hold my hand as we walk to the library.”

Garthy sees a face-splitting grin form on Fig’s face as she reaches her hand toward Ayda. Fingers intertwined, the pair leave the Gold Gardens and head toward the library.

“Well then,” Garthy says to themselves, “let’s see if Ayda’s strategy works on the celestial down at the bar.”

[very-grownup]

THE YEAR IS 2020 AND I WATCHED NEON GENESIS EVANGELION FOR THE FIRST TIME, PART 13

Episode 25.

I spend twenty minutes after the episode ends trying to articulate what I think happened to my friends, gesticulating wildly.

The episode starts with a condensed version of the last upsetting bits of the previous episode and thus sets the ground for my difficulty in expressing my thoughts on it because of the imperfect intersection of linear narrative and metaphorical examination of selfhood. I've been trying to follow the show as a narrative, even as things dissolve, but here everything just goes STOP NO CONTEXT JUST IDEA AND INTERNAL INTERROGATION which I think I follow but I have difficulty following WHILE ALSO thinking about giant robots.

Something bad happened after the events of the last episode and maybe in the overall narrative structure that's all that matters? I guess this episode is about the question of what the end goals of all the barely understood players are vis-à-vis humanity through Shinji et al.

How can we be our fullest self? What and who informs who that self is? The passive approach, as seen in Shinji, isn't it. You cannot only do what you are directly told to do and you can't intuit what other people want you to do as unspoken directions.

The isolationist approach, as seen in Asuka, isn't it, either. Trying to act and live above and without human connections or direction has made her sense of self the most fragile. She's just a shell projecting an ideal around a core of hatred.

Misato is there as, perhaps, the end result of trying to live life like Shinji into adulthood (the result of Asuka's approach is evident because she's shattered), a projected false self created to fulfill the outside expectations of others while the inner self gets lost.

Rei I feel is the one who is closest to having it 'right' insomuch as there can be a right way to be a human being (and perhaps part of what Evangelion and its characters are grappling with is that there isn't or if there is, it's not a simple thing). She recognizes that who Rei is is shaped by Rei's interactions with other people and the passage of time and I think that Rei 3's apparent rejection or turn on Gendo's influence is because she knows that's not the entirety of it. Everyone is confronted to some degree by the fact that the version of themselves seen by other people is flawed but in Rei's case she's able to know it in a profound way because she is aware of the previous Reis and their memories but also of herself as distinct from them. So Shinji knows her but he doesn't Know Her and much of what Rei knows of others is removed, the Rei deaths and recreations putting a barrier between a direct human connection. The human connection is key but perhaps the degree to which so much of it is abstracted in Rei is why she isn't fully emotionally engaged as a person, even when her understanding of personhood is so much fuller than the others. No human connection leads to Asuka: fragile and quickly destroyed. Shinji recognizes the importance of the human connection, maybe, but fails to enact the how and in its place he has the projections of what he thinks other people want guiding him.

The people in our hearts aren't real people but just manifestations of our self speaking through puppets that look like people we know and can't substitute for human connection and create a similarly false self for the benefit of the false people projections (Misato).

Shinji's fear of being hurt by human connections results in his inability to make human connections and his holding himself up to the standards of imagined human connections which are unsatisfying and disappointing to everyone, including him.

Gendo's Human Instrumentality Project seems to be about recognizing the need for human connections, specifically individuals filling needs for each other that cannot be filled by the individual alone, both for the pursuit of fulfilling the need to find the true self but also taking humanity beyond humanity. I think it's because Gendo has sublimated his grief and sense of loss with respect to his wife into viewing the ability of individuals to obtain fulfillment and then lose it as a weakness that can be overcome.

If all of humanity loses its individuality and turns into the orange tang all humans are always complete and cannot be made incomplete by losing part of themselves. This is too much connection and gross, indistinguishable. What is the point of this if there is no individual?

Right now it looks like all approaches are imperfect and lead to failure, certainly in the context of Evangelion and these characters.

Visually everything is very cool in this episode even though the budget limitations are obvious. The work arounds are creative and inform the substance of what's being said, I think? There's distortion and dissolving and isolated figures on foldout chairs under spotlights.

My favourite thing is how the false characters, the characters talking to the real characters in the chair, are clearly drawn differently, badly, off model. Something is done to indicate their lack of realness, especially the false Shinji in Misato's heart.

I'm sorry if this commentary has become increasingly boring, I'm sorry if I'm doing or talking about Evangelion wrong or badly or pointlessly. I've really enjoyed it. This concludes my report on the penultimate episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

The final episode behind the cut.

Episode 26.

I appreciate the honesty of opening the episode with text that basically announces "look we don't have the time to explain everything so we're just going to explain it as it pertains to this microcosm called Shinji". It's a very clever/honest sort of meta acknowledgement of MAN THE BUDGET OOPS but I feel it's also in a way of framing the psychological aspect of the narrative as something that is not unique to Shinji but Shinji is merely the lens through which something more universal is viewed.

The episode seems to be divided into four distinct sections. The first bit is a ramped up version of the meditative internal discussions that have become increasingly frequent during the series. Interrogation by on screen text asking questions like are you happy, why aren't you happy, what do you want, why do you want this, why do you do that ... some of them very basic therapy sort of questions, others being refinements of that, questions meant to prompt you to look inward for an answer only you have.

But although we're told that this is an examination of Shinji sometimes Asuka is answering, sometimes Rei is answering. Sometimes they're asking the questions. Sometimes other characters are asking or elaborating, unseen.

Previously I've talked about feeling like narrative-wise things have been dissolving, when I try to recall a sequence of events, but here what's dissolving is the distinction between the characters because the experiences are unique but the feelings are inherently universal.

There's a lot of different things going on here, visually. Still portraits, reused footage from previous episodes, repeated shots of a rotary phone with the cable cut really sticks in my mind for some reason, what seem to be actual black and white photos of contemporary Japan. There's a universal quality and it's also how everything around you, all the people and experiences, make up the you that you are, shown with an outline of Shinji that's filled with rapidly flashing poorly imposed images of others that don't fit in his outline. It's cool.

That's when the episode transitions to its second bit which is, like, I don't know. It's a bit student film, it's a bit like that Loony Toons bit where Daffy Duck is talking directly to the animator who can erase and redraw him at will. It's barely animated in parts.

I had this understanding that Evangelion ran out of money near the end and that the last episode was barely animated at all and I think I assumed it would be like how I understand the second disc of Xenogears to be, just ... text because we can't do assets? But it's not. It's unpolished and sketchy and minimal, in spots just pencil drawings or roughly coloured in with markers, at one point it's just wave forms? But it was sad and weirdly beautiful and it felt like an extension of Shinji's internal struggle for meaning and understanding. Maybe because the lack of budget gives it an aesthetic similar to a student or art school film, it informs the material with a sincerity that I feel would be lacking in a more polished, traditional product. The fewer hands that can be felt in something the more /authentic/ it feels.

I, at least, have a greater patience and a great appreciation for something when I feel an authentic quality from it, even though that's only my perception. Form and substance compliment each other here, even if it's just because of budget constraints.

There's a really good part where it's just Shinji in a white void and it's, you know, about how that's the safest because there's nothing constraining him because he's the only thing, but it feels empty because how do we know what we are if we have no references. So a horizontal line is drawn and that's the ground in this white void and Shinji is then standing on the ground and it's reassuring, it's a reality that simultaneously limits your options but in limiting them defines what they are. It's just ... good.

Once things have been completely broken down it's time to I think reassemble them and that's the third part of the episode where Shinji wakes up in an otoge game where everything is good and normal and Asuka's his childhood friend, his mother is alive (but still faceless) and his father ... also exists and is not being actively cruel but hidden behind a newspaper, similarly faceless, existing but known (he's at the table, Yui is in the kitchen with her back always to the camera), Misato's his hot teacher, Rei is the new transfer student ... There's running to school with toast in mouth (from otoge Rei). Shinji's just a Normal Teen (but the normalcy is false, this weird artificial hyper normalcy that contrasts with the sad, raw realness of Shinji's life in Tokyo 3).

That's on the stage that Shinji is watching from his stool in the empty gymnasium with Misato and it goes dark and it's like ... this is another reality but I don't think it's meant to be a quantum thing but an example of the potential of, like, /imagine/ a you who is happy. So this is the fourth part of the episode and it's characters, every single character, interrogating Shinji, pointing out Shinji's flaws, and giving him ... advice? Guidance? A lot of it is ... bad. The characters recognize real problems Shinji has, that Shinji knows he has and then they tell him things which are presented as, for lack of a better term, 'solutions' to his problems of self. But a lot of them are not actionable. Some of them are little more than 'you hate yourself but have you considered ... not hating yourself?'

Much like when Shinji gets praised, once, by his father for what he did in the robot and that is assumed to be good because it's good in comparison to the nothing he's received, the words Shinji gets here are presumed good because they're actual acknowledgement of his problems.

The result is Shinji standing on the earth, surrounded by the other characters, announcing that he is determined to care for himself, and they all applaud and congratulate him and it's weird. It's presented as happy but there's no emotion. No emotion in this climax of a series that has so effectively evoked so much emotion, raw and powerful and real and relatable. It's not happy. It's not sad, either. It's just an absence of sadness. It's this orange tang safety in muted absence of loneliness or danger. I think because Shinji is given good conclusions for his problems (self-worth and love have to come from within, you need to allow yourself to care for yourself or you'll never believe completely that others can care for you) but he's not shown a good path to get there. What people tell Shinji gives him an understanding of what the goal is (happiness) but none of the tools to get him to happiness, something he has no real personal experience with, so the ending he arrives at isn't authentic. It's a false construct, like the otoge realty.

It's not a good ending but I think it wants there to be a good ending and the viewer to recognize when a 'good' ending isn't really good. It's a lot to think about. This concludes my report on the final episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

[penguiduck]

The Relationship Between Readers & Writers: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Readers

Introduction | Part 1: What is this Relationship? | Part 2: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Readers | Part 3: A Day in the Life of… | Part 4: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Writers: Perspectives | Part 5: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Writers: Implementation | Part 6: How to Write the Best Feedback |  Part 7: Where Does This Leave Us?

Last chapter, we discussed the nature of this unique relationship between readers and writers, and the currency that is exchanged between them.  This section is for the writers.  I hope to give you some insight on how to motivate your readers and let them feel appreciated for giving your work the attention it deserves.

As a reminder, currency can be provided in a number of different ways, but I’m going to focus primarily on feedback in this section because I think it is the most feasible and appropriate.

A common theme that I’ve been hearing is that readers can be shy or uncomfortable giving feedback.  This can be due to the nature of an online relationship because reading work anonymously is an option.  It can also be due to a language barrier or general reluctance to engage.  Or perhaps it’s due to a bad experience with leaving feedback in the past in which they were reproached for expressing their honest thoughts.

Writers can’t necessarily help make a reader less shy or remove the language barrier, but they can be approachable and kind.  They can welcome feedback and reward those who offer it.  If a writer is consistently welcoming, it may encourage readers to take a chance and provide much-desired feedback.

In the case of a poor experience, I think it’s especially important to be cognizant and ensure that this does not happen between you and your readers.  I will address the acceptance of criticism and opposing opinions at the end of this section to help reinforce this.

If a relationship between readers and writers is desired, writers have the responsibility of being affable and fostering an environment in which readers can provide honest feedback without fear of confrontation.  Let’s first discuss ways in which we can encourage readers to come forth with feedback.

WHAT DO READERS WANT?

They want good work, writing that can make them feel what they want to feel, whether that’s heartrending angst or tooth-rotting joy.  They want to feel respected should they choose to voice their opinions.  They want to know that writers care about their work and their relationship with readers.

Nothing I’ve said is revolutionary, but I think there are a few things writers can consistently do to stay honest with these ideas:

1. Respond to your readers.  It’s a small gesture, but if they take the time to give you feedback, the least you can do is thank them for it.

Imagine you telling someone, random stranger or not, that you like their new haircut or their shoes, and that compliment falls into an awkward silence.  You probably won’t compliment them anymore because you don’t know if your compliments are welcome.  So if you, as a writer, want more feedback, you need to acknowledge those who are currently providing it.

This doesn’t just apply to comments and reviews.  This applies to emails, Facebook chats, Tumblr asks, etc.  It’s basic manners to acknowledge feedback, no matter how short or simple.

2. Thank your readers.  You can do this comment by comment, but I like to thank my readers by name in each new update.  It lets readers know that I’ve read their feedback and that I’ve not forgotten their kindness, even as I continue to write new chapters.

A sincere thank you goes a long way in expressing that appreciation.

3. Involve your readers.  I think having reader input is instrumental to writing some types of fiction.  For example, I primarily write reader-inserts — anything from straight one-shots in second person to versions of CYOAs and WWYFFs — and sometimes my readers say things in the comments that make me pensive.

Ask readers questions.  If you’re not sure about a certain writing style, theme, or idea, just ask them.  I tend to do this at the end of every chaptered piece of fiction that I publish because it’s an opportunity to gather reader input and make myself a better writer for my audience.  An honest desire to improve is a very welcome prospect for readers — it shows that you care about their thoughts and opinions.

4. Do things for your readers to show your appreciation.  You’re a writer — I assume you like writing.  Write for your readers.

You can do this by hosting raffles or opening requests. As an example, I host a raffle every month for my readers called An Expression of Thanks. Those who leave comments on my works are eligible, and the winner of this raffle receives a written one-shot.  When the events of COVID-19 first started, I opened a request booklet called A Single Word. to help readers cope with the global pandemic. You can hold raffles for any occasion and any conditions. 

Celebrate your accomplishments to thank your readers for sticking with you.  Did you get to a certain amount of kudos on AO3? Hit chapter 100 for one of your fics? Did you just reach an anniversary for posting on a specific site? 

These are all incredible accomplishments for you, but where would you be without your loyal readers?  Raffle off one-shots, art, beta-reading services, even gift cards or other items of sentimental value. Donate to a cause on behalf of your readers. Get creative!   

5. Update consistently and complete your works, if possible.  You certainly don’t have to spend every waking moment writing.  Self-care is important, after all, but no one needs me to tell you that readers appreciate quality writing and updates to their favorite stories. 

Do whatever you need to do to nurture your love for writing, and don’t let yourself burn out.  But don’t forget that there are readers waiting on the edge of their seats for an update, and by providing a new chapter or new piece, you could very well make their day.

ADDRESSING CRITICISM AND CONTRARY OPINIONS

I’d like to dedicate some time to criticism and how to approach it.  To level-set, allow me to define what I mean by criticism.  I am not referring to outright rude, trolling, or hateful comments.  These are of a different category and should be dealt with in another manner — they should be ignored and reported to an administrator.  For the purpose of this essay, I am specifically addressing well-intentioned feedback that is of a critical nature or a contrary opinion.

First, please realize tone is often lost in informal writing online.  It can be hard to hear when someone is being sarcastic or gentle or sheepish.  Start by believing that your readers have the best of intentions and give them the benefit of the doubt.  They’re not trying to ruin your day.

Understand that feedback is a gift, even if it’s critical.  Someone took precious time out of their day to tell you something about your writing.  They don’t have to do that, but they care enough to provide you this information.  Accept it, and thank them for their effort, even if you don’t agree.

Accepting criticism is not always easy — to be candid, not all criticism is fair.  It’s entirely possible that readers can misinterpret your meaning or, simply, be wrong.  Nevertheless, it’s vital that you remain gracious and kind.  You don’t have to agree with the criticism.  The nature of writing and art is subjectivity — some people like A, and some people like B.  That’s okay. 

What’s important is that you foster an environment in which these differences in opinion are accepted and appreciated.

Still don’t like critical feedback?

You can ask your readers to not provide any.  I’m sure they’ll kindly oblige.  However, I advise against this because if you want to grow as a writer, you need to learn to accept criticism, and even apply it to your craft.

J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter pitch was rejected 12 times before she found success.  Stephen King’s Carrie was rejected by 30 publishers.  Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time was rejected 26 times before finally finding a publisher who would accept it.

My point is that these are incredibly popular books, best-selling and well-loved by a huge portion of the world population, and even they were faced with rejection by those with varying opinions.

My advice is to grow a thicker skin.  Don’t let criticism crumble your confidence.  You’re still learning as a writer, refining and polishing your craft as you continue your journey.  Even published authors had to walk this same path — and are still walking this path.

There will always be opinions that contradict yours.  Oftentimes, they won’t be right or wrong — they’re just opinions.

You have freedom of speech, not freedom from speech.  You can write whatever you’d like; people can say whatever they want to say about it.  By posting your work online, you are opening yourself up to the possibility of criticism.  

It’s a fact.  Let it be.

I loathe what I call “care bear culture.”  While I think it’s important to be polite and thoughtful when rendering opinions, writers should not be offended by or shield themselves from innocuous, well-intentioned comments.  This exposure and acceptance of criticism is a fundamental piece of learning and becoming a better writer.  If you reject constructive criticism and limit your exposure of opinions to those that agree with your own, you reject personal growth.

People are allowed to have opinions.  They are allowed to think that A is better than B or X is superior to Y; and if you’re a supporter of B or Y, you have the right to respectfully defend your position.  But do not disregard a polite comment or piece of feedback simply because it is contrary to what you have done or prefer.

Do not allow opposing opinions to break your creative spirit.  Diversity of thought is incredibly important and powerful.  If you dissuade your readers from providing this type of feedback, you may not get any feedback at all.

Some of the most useful feedback I’ve ever received was uncomfortable for me to read and hurtful to apply to my craft.  It’s not easy looking at your writing with a critical eye because what you’ve put on paper is part of you.  How can you criticize yourself and your work?

There is a piece of writing advice out there: Kill your darlings.  Sometimes your readers can give you incredible perspective on who or what your darlings are.

Allow yourself to be uncomfortable.  Embrace that discussion.  You will be a better writer for it.

In the meantime, be gracious and kind when receiving criticism.  As I mentioned earlier, you don’t have to agree with the criticism, but take it to heart.  Consider it.  If you focus too much on why it’s said and not what is said, then you’re going to struggle with accepting criticism.

Allow yourself to be a better writer.  You deserve that opportunity.

This is also posted on AO3.