#i make $10 an hour which is more than a majority of on campus positions

[littletrumpetcat]

tired of this man tired of putting up with him 24/7 tired of hearing his TV that's so loud i can hear it from outside the house and clear through my bedroom. tired of hearing his f*x news dribble, tired of walking past the TV and hearing some right wing lunatic speaking. tired of walking into the basement and the TV is so loud it physically hurts my ears. tired of him not understanding what i'm saying because of his lack of hearing aids and his refusal to listen to what other people are saying. tired of him expecting everyone to do his bidding. right after i get home from an 8 and a half hour day he casually says "it's just about time for the dogs to go out by the way.." as i'm petting them like are u kidding me. do it urself, u are retired. tired of my mom asking someone to take the dogs out as i'm getting ready to leave for work, only for him to look at me and smirk like are you really that dense and entitled?

[booksooks]

𝑳𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝑯𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑳𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓: 𝑫𝒂𝒚 2

Author's Note: Hi friends, second part up on time? What? Who am I, god? Anyway, it's Toga's debut in today's piece, I hope you enjoy :)

Contents: College!AU, all characters depicted are STRICTLY 18+, no use of "Y/N"/any other variants, and possibly wildly ooc characters. I apologize for this. Light swearing.

Word Count: 2046

Summary: Entering your second year at college, only a few months after being broken up with, you weren't expecting anything special. Especially not in the romance department. But then a quiet, but friendly-enough boy on your floor catches your attention faster than you would like to admit. And oh, boy, are you in deep.

Waking up the next morning wasn’t as difficult as you thought it would be. Gentle sunlight streamed in through your windows, and all was quiet. It definitely wasn’t normal for your expectations of college, last year your roommate had insisted on blaring all sorts of TV shows and movies or music at any hour she pleased. You hadn’t minded, since whenever you were actually studying she had put earbuds in, but the silence was certainly a new sensation.

You took your time getting up, as your first class was only at 11am, which gave you ample time to wake up and rub the sleep from your eyes, and maybe hang out for a bit on your phone before taking a shower, and doing your makeup. You then arranged your hair the way you liked, poking at a strand that just wouldn’t lay right until you gave up, leaving at 10:30 to get to the building on time. Things were actually going really well, considering.

You got to class entirely too early, and resigned yourself to sitting on the floor in front of the doors as you waited for the professor or other students to show up. You weren’t alone for long, however, as a bubbly looking girl in as much pink as she could have had on skipped up. Her ashy blonde hair was tied up in two messy moon buns, and she had the cheeriest look on her face.

“Hi!” She crowed, waving at you on the floor. “Is this oceanography? Room 231? I’m Himiko Toga, by the way, nice to meet you! You can call me Toga.”

You looked up at her and waved back. “Yeah, I think so. At the very least it’s room 231.”

“Cool!” She brightened. “I’m a freshman, so I’m still learning my way around. This campus is so big! Especially compared to my highschool, which was only one building. I was afraid I’d be late.”

Toga continues chattering for a few minutes, putting her backpack (also pink), down on the ground to give her shoulders a rest as she talks about how she was supposed to dorm, how she had several friends here which was a major reason as to why she even chose this school, and how excited she was to make new friends, and would you be hers?

You couldn’t help but get caught up in her infectious positivity, and before long you were yapping along with her, of course you’d be her friend. And then it wasn’t long until the professor, an older woman with graying hair who walked slowly and talked with the same cadence, shuffled up to the doors and asked you and Toga to open them as she dragged a cart behind her on a dolly. The three of you settled into the room, the professor making small talk with Toga about her experience with college so far and the first few introductory days as a freshman. You were setting up your computer, so completely focused on trying to get the damn wifi to work, that you didn’t notice when the door opened and someone slipped in. But Toga definitely noticed, and she squealed, making your head jerk up.

“Tomura! I can’t believe you’re in the same class as me, already! This is gonna be so fun!” Toga nearly climbed over the tables to get to the man, wrapping her arms around his torso affectionately.

Shigaraki, to his credit, didn’t brush her off immediately, and even wiggled one of his arms free to awkwardly give her a side hug back. She let go as soon as he started trying to pry himself free.

“Hi, Toga,” Shigaraki greeted, much more quietly than Toga had. It was then that he had noticed you, and he gave you a few quick glances before looking away, moving further into the room to sit next to Toga. He gave the professor a quick nod and introduced himself before setting up his own computer, tuning Toga out as she shook your shoulder lightly.

“This is one of the friends I was talking about! His name is Shigaraki Tomura, but I call him Tomura because we’re besties,” she explained excitedly, and you didn’t really have the heart to tell her that you two had already met. Before you could say anything, however, Shigaraki spoke up in that soft, raspy tone of his.

“We met yesterday.”

Toga gasped excitedly, clapping as she smiled brightly. “Ohmygod, really? Ooh that’s so exciting! Now I have two besties in the same class, we can study together!”

Shigaraki glanced at you then, shrugging before turning back to his computer screen. The professor had been setting things up this entire time, and there was a powerpoint on the screen about plate tectonics. Several other students you didn’t know had also been steadily filtering in, taking up most of the seats around your little trio.

“Sure,” you told Toga, motioning for her to sit down. Class would be starting soon, it was 10:58. “I don’t mind if Shigaraki doesn’t.”

“I don’t,” he said quietly, and Toga took that as her signal to whip out her phone and make a group chat, already texting emojis in it with speed. “Put your phone away,” he muttered, pulling out his own phone to clear the now 10 notifications from the group chat. You sighed and finally got connected to the wifi, just as the last student came in sheepishly and sat down in the front of class, and the professor started introducing herself before roll call.

50 minutes later, and some very confusing instructions and explanations from the professor later, you were dismissed for the campus’s common hour.

“Let’s get lunch together!” Toga pleaded, already bouncing on her feet to get going as you and Shigaraki put your laptops away and stood up.

“Sounds good to me,” you agreed, following Toga out of the building. Shigaraki hadn’t said anything, but he followed you both out to the path without protest, so you took it as a sign that he was also down.

And so, the three of you made your merry way down to the commons, where there were several food chains open, along with… almost every other member of school. It was crowded and hot and loud, and you winced, almost losing sight of Toga as she dragged you along like she knew the place like the back of her hand. Which, was weird the more that you thought about it, because wasn’t she a freshman?

Either way, you wished for earplugs or something, scrunching your shoulders up to avoid touching anyone and making yourself as small as possible. Toga didn’t seem to notice, despite looking over her shoulder several times, and you tried not to be too annoyed. She was probably just excited and hungry. Shigaraki, however, did notice, and he held his sweater-clad elbow out for you to hold onto wordlessly. You take it gratefully, fingers curling into the soft fabric and trying to ignore how fucking solid he felt underneath, despite his lanky build. God you were touch starved.

You swallowed heavily and let Shigaraki somewhat bulldoze his way through the crowd. He was pretty tall and in his all black outfit he was more than a little intimidating, so people got out of his way like you were both surrounded by an invisible, protective bubble. You clung onto him tightly, incredibly grateful that people were less inclined to bump into you or push past you now that you were hanging off of Shigaraki’s arm.

Eventually, you finally caught up to Toga, who had somehow already bought herself a serving of sushi and a strawberry Fanta (sidenote, who actually liked those things? You had tried one during your freshman year and were barely able to finish the damn thing). She beamed up at the two of you, and was about to say something when she saw you hanging off of the crook of Shigaraki’s arm, and you let go like he had burnt you. Toga’s mouth twitched almost imperceptibly, and then she was moving on.

“I’m gonna go find us a place to sit!” She chirped, leaving you and Shigaraki behind, again.

You sighed and motioned for him to go ahead of you, which he took, also getting a container of sushi, and a monster, before checking out. You thought he was going to leave you behind to fend for yourself, but he stopped just outside the little cafe, waiting. You did your best to hide your smile as you acquired your own food and drink, paying for them and smiling at the cashier who looked like he would rather be anywhere but there at that very moment before you caught up with Shigaraki. He looked only a little less bothered when you stepped up next to him, and then once again he used his presence to clear a path to the little booth that Toga had claimed.

“How the hell did you snag this?” You asked, sitting next to her, as Shigaraki slid into the seat across from you. “These are normally never empty at this time.”

Toga smiled at you as she broke open the flimsy wooden chopsticks, and Shigaraki did the same. “Some people were leaving just as I got here,” she explained, bringing a piece of sushi to her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully for a moment before swallowing. “And so I just sat down and threatened to stab anyone who asked if they could also sit here!”

You blinked at her incredulously, and Toga continued eating as if she hadn’t just told you she tossed around threats like she was talking about the weather.

“Is that normal?” You asked Shigaraki. He nodded, unperturbed, and shoved two pieces of sushi into his mouth. You gaped, blinked, and then decided if someone who’d known her since at least highschool said it was fine, it must be fine. Relatively.

The rest of your lunch is completed with more chatter from Toga, with you and Shigaraki occasionally giving input or asking her questions. The time flies, and soon you were all nursing your drinks, a neat pile of trash to be thrown out when you leave at the edge of the table. Toga is talking excitedly to Shigaraki about a game he’s… making? Playing? You had stopped paying attention after a while, letting the two friends catch up as your social battery depleted. You checked your phone, for a lack of anything better to do, and jolted when you looked at the time.

“Holy shit, it’s 1:50, I gotta go,” You exclaimed, cutting Toga off mid-sentence. The panic in your voice was unmistakable as you hastily shoved your phone into your back pocket, the screen dimming abruptly. You slung your backpack over one shoulder, the straps digging into your skin as you scrambled to gather your things, and with one last glance at Shigaraki and Toga, you snatched up the crumpled pile of trash from the table. Your movements were sharp and erratic as you waved absentmindedly at them, making a beeline for the door. You sighed and hurried your pace, mentally mapping out how to get to the library from where you were.

Just as you were about to push through the exit, Toga’s voice rang out, slicing through the clamor of the hallway: “Text us!” Her tone was light-hearted, but there was a pleading tone to her words that made it clear she already wanted to keep in touch with you. You threw another quick, half-hearted wave over your shoulder, barely registering her shout as you broke into a light jog. Unfortunately, people didn't get out of your way like they did with Shigaraki, and you were forced to dodge and weave until you got outside and were able to move around people more freely.

You’re not early, or even on time, by any means, but then again neither is the professor apparently, as he walks in 5 minutes late.

It’s not until hours later, when you’re back in your dorm, relaxing on your bed when you realize that you never texted Toga back. You quickly ran to your messages, and typed something out.

You smiled to yourself and put your phone away, getting ready for bed. Friday could not come soon enough.

End Notes: I hope you enjoyed :) Please let me know if you have any thoughts or comments, I'd love to hear them!

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[atxxzist]

broken | c.s (10)

prev // next // series m.list

pairing: choi san x reader

word count: 6.5k

warning: u r gonna have 2 read to find out (nothing traumatizing tho i promise!)

"so, you were playing tags with the kids and fell?"

"yes."

you vividly recall the lies you told your friends--how you got the cut on your knees being one of them amongst others--but they were just happy you made it back safely and didn't get any more hurt than that.

after returning to seoul, your days are back to being nothing short of mundane tasks, hanging with your friends and enduring yunho's constant whines because minji had to go back, and then the mostly lazing around in your room and doing anything to pass time.

but with your eyes stuck to the ceiling and your head hitting the back of your pillow for the majority, your mind can't help but to wander.

wander back to the trip and how sweet and caring san was. his lips that spoke genuine words toward you, and his eyes that showed something much deeper in them. something much more than just physical touches and empty sex; something that could've fooled anyone into thinking he's in love with you.

but by now, you've learned to not keep your head too high because choi san will only give you false hopes, never failing to remind you of what exactly the relationship between you and him really is--if his silence ever since the trip speaks of anything.

no texts, no calls; no renditions of such thing that will give away you were just in his arms a week ago. but you've come to terms with it that it is fine; unsure if the small ache is disappointment (if that's even possible anymore) or just being sad overall.

but again, you've accepted the situation to some degree.

you focus on integrating yourself back into the school mindset where academic achievements were the center of your universe (for the most part), since the semester is around the corner again.

and because the semester is around the corner, mingi and yunho wanted to check out a place; a noodle restaurant recommended by a friend of mingi, eager to go because of all the positive reviews.

"so how do we do this? paper rock scissors and whoever loses have to pay?" mingi quirks, one eyebrows raised and flipping through the menu.

"nah. y/n makes the most money, this is her treat to us," yunho says, to which you react with a scowl.

"says who? i don't even have work during summer."

"what happened to that program you were talking about?" mingi throws in your face, and it's only until then that you remember the 'summer program' you supposedly came back from.

"that was less than a week and we don't get paid much compared to the regular hours," you save yourself, somewhat even proud for having thought of a lie so fast on the spot.

mingi rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"greedy. you are so fucking greedy."

you shrug, unable to help it all.

"well, i'm sorry. i've never had this much money before."

"don't make this dark now."

it's your turn to roll your eyes.

"fine, i'll pay. but nothing over ten dollars."

"stingy too, how unfortunate," mingi mutters, provoking a kick to his ankle from you under the table, lasering a glare in return.

in spite of all the teasing and snarky remarks, because you have a soft spot for him and is silently thankful for all mr. song had done for you, you give in and let him order three bowls of naengmyeon, two of which he's probably not even going to finish.

yunho on the other hand is nice enough to spare your wallet a little, settling on only one that's enough for the evening.

summer feels like it's passing by in a blink of an eye. like it was just yesterday that you, mingi, and yunho were fighting over what to do and where to go. now all of a sudden, you're going to be back on campus soon enough, wallowing in the pit of assignments and exams that will eat away your mental health.

it's an awful vision, because you don't want to let go of this summer.

mingi and yunho are chatting about their library assistant jobs, and you're listening with attentive ears, chopsticks poking at your noodles when a buzz goes off in your bag.

your body reacts first, eyes shooting to your friends who's still lost in the conversation, knowing it can't be them who texted you. and unless yuna is coming home early, there's only one other person who has your number.

🟣: hey 🙂 are you free to call tonight? i want to talk to you abt something. lmk.

y/n: i'm out right now but should be back soon. i'll let you know

🟣: sounds good! talk to you then 💕

it's relieving until it's not. the highs and lows alternating like getting a hit of your favorite drug before the effect wears off and you just feel nothing. numb. all too used to it, aware it's not good for you but unable to stop.

how long will it go on before declaring that something so temporary and unsecured is unfulfilling, no matter how good the high is.

not anytime soon, unfortunately.

you text him with excitement upon the return, the dinner over a lot earlier than you had expected; yunho having talked about some paperworks he still has to finish, and mingi for finishing all three bowls and groaning about the food coma he's going through.

y/n: just got back. call me whenever

you sit with a fluttering kind of excitement, thinking about what could possibly be this important to prompt a call from san this late, but also honestly just ecstatic to hear from him again.

it takes a few minutes before the ring of your phone starts, having answered so fast, there's no way he doesn't know you were sitting in nothingness just waiting for his call.

"hey," he greets from the other side.

"hey," you respond just short of a shy whisper.

"i hope i'm not prolonging sleep for you."

"no, you're good. i'm not even that tired."

you wonder if san really cares whether you're getting sleep or not or if it's just proper courtesy to act like he does when he took a girl out on a week-long trip, only to disregard her completely after like the moments and hours spent with each other means nothing.

"no worries, i'll make this fast," he says, clearing his throat. "wooyoung's throwing another party before school starts, and i called to ask if you want to come with? it's going to be a couple days from now, so you'll have plenty of time to be prepared."

it's quiet as you take the time to think, knowingly aware of the fact that taking up the offer to be seen publicly with san at wooyoung's party has a lot of things at stake.

"no pressure, just thought i'd ask," he adds when the silence only stretches on.

"i'll be there," you say so suddenly, like all the thoughts and logics from before flying out your head just for the one chance to see the boy who made you question so many things within the past few days.

"okay, cool. i'll text you the detail when the time comes."

you don't get anything from san until the day before the actual party.

a simple text from him about picking you up and when it's going to start so you will have the time to compose yourself for the loud and obnoxious setting of what one usually consists of.

you have made sure to double check when you were exiting the dorm building that nobody you know happened to coincidentally see you get into his car--a fight with your friends with only a few weeks left of summer not on your wishlist.

you guys arrive a little past 8 p.m., san proceeding to drag you through the house almost the same way mingi did; brushing past the hoard of drunk people, whatever they're smoking, and the flashy lights that comes in all colors.

you catch a sighting of that old couch that was the best company at both the event you attended prior, pushed against the wall and a lot discolored this time around.

with the amount of parties wooyoung probably throws, you're honestly impressed it's still even intact.

but you're quick to pry away, moving back around only to hit right into san's back at the sudden stop. he turns to you and giggles at the wide look on your face, having noticed your curious eyes that would roam each passing scene.

"we can stay in here, it's a lot less crowded," he says, and you nod in return, doing a once-over of the room and recognizing the kitchen where you first talked to him. a place so bittersweet.

"i'm gonna go get us drinks first. punch or beer?"

"i'll take some punch."

"alright. i'll be back."

you watch him disappear behind the crowd of people and begin looking for a spot to settle in.

there's two guys over at the corner with red solo cups, chatting away and seemingly paying no attention to anyone else. then another pair of girls by the counters also engaged in a conversation.

while it's not your definition of peace and quiet, you'll take it over the rave going on just a couple feet outside.

you prop against the counter closest to the sink and wait until you can see san's figure making its way back in, one cup in each hand and walking to where you are.

"thank you," you utter as he hands you yours, placing his on the empty space and settling in front of you, observing as you take a slight sip.

"they changed the flavor," you comment, licking some remains off your lips.

"yeah, every once in a while," he replies, taking a swig of his cup before putting it down again.

you nod, biting down your bottom lip and thinking of what to say next; another question at the tip of your tongue again.

"do you uh... come to these parties often?"

he was here all of the two times you came and talked about them on more than one occasion. you suppose, it's only a given someone like him would come to a place full of entertainment; each passing person walking with confidence and unfazed by anything.

after all, he is the life of the party.

"once or twice a week. sometimes three."

the numbers leaving him like they're small quantities. but two or three definitely sounds like a lot, especially if you're talking about a party of this size. you wonder just how much resources wooyoung is wasting.

"i see..." you simply mumble, quiet under your breath.

"how's your knee?" he asks, prompting you to take a quick glance at it, the once before red color turning into a lighter pink, and the pain feeling like a much dull one.

"it's healing."

he nods, attention moving to down another sip.

"did your friends ask?"

"they did, but they bought the story i told them."

he chuckles and shakes his head, a smirk creeping up.

"you know, you're a lot more cunning than you let on."

"i must be around you too much," you tease with the subtle jab, cranking the volume of his laughter as he stares at you so charmingly. and charming he is indeed, you have officially lost count of the amount of partygoers that would flock to the kitchen to greet him; talk to him, like he's the brightest flame in the room. a complete people magnet.

you can only deliver small, awkward head exchanges with them while san oozes all the confidence and charisma in the world. you will always be amazed at how someone like san and mingi can just talk to anyone.

the small smile on your face can't be helped, watching him in his natural element, making something inside of you churn with admiration but a painful realization all at once.

his eyes peers across the room, bidding goodbyes to the ones leaving and then hello's to the next person to come in, all while your gaze only hold his as if he has all the answers to your problems--like he's the embodiment of hope.

you're also drawn to him; his brightly lit flame, no different to any others in the room.

"this is y/n." san's voice snaps you out, blinking your lashes to a boy whose hair is bleached in blonde and staring at you with equally amusing eyes, a smirk curled at the corner of his lips.

"she's cute," he comments courtly, parting with a smile and going off to join the two from before at the corner, their introductions audibly out of your range.

"that's chris," san starts again, your attention moving back to him. "he's studying abroad, but just thought i'd let you know of his existence because you're going to see him quite a bit if you're going to start attending more of these."

you only hum in acknowledgement and nod, not stressing too much about having to remember chris or anything, unsure how many more of these parties you'll be showing up to.

little do you know, this party will be the start of all rendezvous between you and san, all of them similar in a way but each with their own variations.

yuna returns two days before classes officially starts.

attempting to roll in her pink suitcase, sunhat, and jumpsuit, she announces her arrival to your figure still stuck on your bed with feet kicking into the air as you randomly jot down your new schedule onto your notebook.

"hey, you're back," you cry out, jumping right out of bed to help her squeeze through the doorway.

"yes i am."

"how was the trip?"

she sighs, throwing her hat off to the end of her bed where it lands perfectly.

"good for the most part. i would've gotten back earlier but the flight from japan to korea got delayed due to some weather issues. then my father lost his ticket and had to repurchase. but overall decent."

you laugh, reaching behind to shut the door.

"good to hear."

yuna almost forgot what she was going to do until she catches the notebook sitting openly on your sheet.

"oh, right!" you watch with an intrigued gaze as she digs through the bag on her shoulder.

"i got you something."

you can't even be surprised by the act. it's just so yuna of her for you to joke about something and her to actually do it.

"you didn't have to. i was just kidding around."

she shakes her head and pulls the item out: a new and shiny notebook covered in yellow with cartoon characters on the front, a lot thicker in appearance and holding much more pages.

"no worries. i wanted to. saw it while in japan and automatically thought of you."

the way your heart pulls together at the act of kindness brings about the biggest smile on your face, you could almost leap in and give her a hug.

"thank you," you say, so soft and tender, the idiot smile still haven't left.

"of course! i wanted to get you something computer-related but i don't know much about those, so i apologize. i saw you writing in your notebook a lot so i figured maybe you like writing."

you chuckle in response, thinking to yourself that for someone who's rarely ever around, she's awfully observant, even picking it out in your favorite color.

"well, i'm glad you didn't because i am traumatized by it. i changed my major a while ago."

"oh?" she perks with some form of fascination. "to writing?"

"yes. creative writing."

"you know, i have an uncle who runs a firm and he's always looking for technical writers for their products, as well as for their website and whatnot. i mean, i don't know if that's exactly creative writing, but if that's something that piques your interest, let me know."

"isn't that like... nepotism?" you're joking for the most part but also with a genuine curioisity about being able to secure a job because of your rich friend. but then again, your current job was only because of san as well.

"i have no idea, but if you're decent, my uncle has no reason to not hire you. food for thought. if you want to wait until graduation, that's fine too. just let me know."

the one day left of summer is spent fulfilling a promise you made to mingi and yunho about catching a movie at the theater. a new, better, theater with adjustable seatings and the outside not littered with graffitis.

it's a little bit more costly, but you all agreed it was worth it.

the walk back to the dorms is pure torture for you, both of the boys unable to stop the teasing about your sudden passion for writing.

for as long as they've known you, that's definitely one they've never heard before, bringing up all the times you'd stick to reading picture books (because to be a good writer is to read a lot according to them) and struggled writing a 500 words essay.

"you guys literally can't expect me to be the same person a year or so ago. my interests can change, and my brain is still developing. mingi, you're a psychology major, you should know that!" you shriek in defense.

"well, yes, but, there's just some changes about you lately. tell us, when did this interest start?"

you roll your eyes, a deep groan leaving.

"do you guys have to know every detail?"

"obviously yes, so we can talk you out of it, miss wannabe nobel prize winner in literature."

"mingi, literally shut the fuck up. you gave one advice and suddenly you're a psycologist."

"hey, it's all working out so far, isn't it?"

yunho laughs at the banter, waiting until he's in the clear to say something.

"we're kidding. well, i'm kidding. anything you write, i'll be happy to read. even if it's just prince charming coming on a horse to save you."

mingi snickers.

"don't give her ideas now."

"i literally hate the both of you."

intro to creative writing. whether it's to prove both of your friends wrong, or to console yourself that you're worthy of yuna's offer, you want to take it seriously; dive into it that's more than just the short entries in your notebook or the vivid imagination in your head.

thankfully, within just an hour into the class, you can say the environment is a lot more friendly and welcoming. a good divide of both males and females and everyone definitely looks a lot more approachable.

the first week of classes is nothing special. instructors usually just taking the time to go over the course schedule and what's to be expected.

the second week is when you start kind of getting into the gist of it. the class tasked with a short literary piece and dissecting the meaning behind it.

it's not anything exciting, but is an overall improvement to your experience so far.

the third week is when you get another text from san. when you're mostly busy and occupied, it's easy to not think of him. but when he reminds you of his existence again, it's hard to think of anything but him--which is the problem.

he tells you of the party that usually happens at the beginning of the semester, and you're starting to think they have one for just any occasion. or maybe wooyoung just needs a reason to keep throwing these parties.

you're hesitant at first, unsure about spending your night at a place full of alcohol, weed, and people who probably doesn't remember their name since that's the last thing that should be on your mind if you want to take your courses more seriously.

but all it takes is another plead from san for you to fold pathetically, arriving at the party with him hand in hand.

it plays out all the same, with him pulling you through the open spaces and greeting the few he knows along the way, big dimples and a handsome smile before excusing himself to go off with you to the kitchen.

it is all the same as well, just a little more crowded this time perhaps, but that doesn't stop him from backing you into a counter as you gawk at him wide-eyed.

he's not shy to deliver a kiss to your jawline, his hands finding way around your hips and resting on them with ease.

only until you whisper something does he pull away, watching how you move your eyes to the strangers also in the room, a rosy pink shade decorating your flustered cheeks.

"t-there's people here."

he has to giggle it off, your adorable nature truly the saving grace because if you already think a kiss is going to faze these people, he thinks you might go into cardiac arrest knowing the shit they actually do at events like this.

"they don't mind, trust me," he assures, his grip tightening around your hips before lounging forward for a deep kiss.

then every party after that is similar in that it starts all the same, with san eventually leading the way to the kitchen and if you guys are lucky and there's no one, he does more than just a kiss.

if not the kitchen, you guys will hang in the hallway or bathroom upstairs, make out and lose a sense of time, and maybe have sex the couple instances you guys were lucky to have found an empty bedroom.

chris is there every time, always in a corner or lurking somewhere in the background, sometimes even watching the door for you and san.

“that’s chris,” san starts again, your attention moving back to him.

“he’s studying abroad, but just thought i’d let you know of his existence because you’re going to see him quite a bit if you’re going to start attending more of these.”

you've come to develop some sort of attachment to chris at these parties, that if san was nowhere in sight, you would turn him--the only other person you knew.

and an almost perfect attendance one after another, you realize mingi just might be right.

“well, yes, but, there’s just some changes about you lately."

perhaps there is something different about you these days; the boy you've been hanging with opening your eyes to the fun you've been missing out on, and maybe you do want to come out of your shell a little bit.

but it doesn't hit you how much of these parties you've been attending until exam week creeps in and the only way to study for them is to go cold turkey for one, maybe even two weeks until you pass all of them.

what really sets reality for you though, is when yuna throws a passing comment about how much later you've been coming home. how she even sometimes make it back before you. that's when you start to think it might be just a bit bad, needing to tone it down before your friends catches on.

still, the most impressive fact is that you haven't run into wooyoung at his own parties, yet. not that you want to test your luck.

"i won't be able to make it," you tell san on the phone, a low wail that leaves him shortly.

"aww, why not?"

"exams are coming up and i uh... i want to stay inside and study."

the stark contrast of your words even amuses you. that no matter what fun and entertainment you've been exposed to, you will always crawl back into the girl that priotizes getting good grades and is rather nerdy, even if you despise the workload with such strong hatred.

"oh, alright." he giggles quietly. "you're still coming to the school carnival, though, right?"

"yes. i'll be there."

"okay. i'll see you then, and have fun studying."

"pfft. have fun at the party, and tell chris i said hi."

the carnival is a fundraising campaign so nothing fancy or anything like that, obviously. it's a much watered down event, but you figure since your friends won't be available due to their jobs, it doesn't hurt to go with san.

it takes place in the quad of your university, string lightings everywhere; on the trees, around the booths and food stalls, and smaller ones on the cement walkway.

the smells of cotton candy, popcorns, and corndogs greet you upon arrival, turning to san for him to suggest the first thing to do.

his voice is quiet under the loud music and laughters of those around, you have to lean in just to hear him.

"want to play a game?"

"sure." you nod.

a balloon dart game in the back intrigues him--three dollars per person, the sign says. the student running the booth motioning with enthusiam as you two inch closer.

san drops the payment for both you and him into the fundraising box, handing you a set of darts consisting of three.

"you go first or i go?" he quirks an eyebrow in amusement.

"you go."

you stand by the side, watching with the utmost alerted eyes when he misses the first throw, grunting out only shortly and containing it for the next missed one, then also the final where he scores absolutely nothing.

"christ," he curses with a whisper, switching with you who can only chuckle in response.

you also miss the first one, then the second, but surprisingly managing to hit one close to the center for the last turn as it pops; the student ringing a bell and telling you to choose from the prizes.

"you know," san brings up on the walk to the lemonade stand after agreeing on it. "you're pretty good."

you smile a little at the compliment from him.

"yeah? mingi and yunho would always say my aim isn't too bad."

"i can see that."

you both come to a stop at the stand, san rummaging his pocket and speaking at once, "two lemonades, please."

you dig through yours at the same time, pulling out the changes just in time.

"let me pay this time."

san shakes his head.

"what kind of gentleman would i be if i let the lady pay on a date?"

you scoff at that.

"and what kind of lady would i be if i let you pay every single time?"

"the perfect one," he says, putting on that handsome smile that's enough to distract you momentarily while he hands over the payment.

"your drink, my lady." he offers with the same smile that you just can't resist.

you huff and puff, pouting as he lets out a giggle and put back your changes.

"let's go find somewhere to sit."

~

"what kind of gentleman would i be if i let the lady pay on a date?"

the word replays in your head. date. is this a date? it could be you're thinking too much into it, but you suppose you've never been on a proper date with san.

it is certainly very different; from the activities to the setting, to even the interactions. everything is much more mellow; soft. and you think you prefer it this way. so maybe it is a date. yeah.

even if it's not, it does make you feel so happy your heart could almost jump out of your chest just because san said it is.

"cute." the voice rings in your ear, knocking all the creative thoughts out of your head.

"huh?"

"the plushie. it's cute."

"oh... yeah." you almost stutter, swallowing the knot in your throat and attempting to straighten your posture just to make it clear you definitely weren't thinking of anything else.

he laughs, able to spot the light pink slowly making its appearance again.

"it kind of looks like you."

you retract at the sudden comparison and have to hold the plushie up just to get another good glance at it.

"i absolutely do not look like a white bunny with big flappy ears."

he laughs again at the denial.

"well, you are cute like one."

you only clear your throat and try to fight off a smile that threatens to blossom at the remark that makes something inside your stomach flutter with butterflies.

"do you want to keep it?" you finally derive the subject after enough blushing.

"oh, i couldn't do that. you earned it yourself."

you curl your lips together for a moment of silence before speaking again in such a hushed volume, the commotion could've drowned it out if san wasn't sitting just a bit too close.

"well... your birthday was a while ago, right?"

the question catches him in a daze, more taken aback than anything that you would even remember it.

"yeah."

"i'm sorry i didn't get you anything or even wished you a happy birthday, i was just..." conflicted; thinking too much if it would be appropriate. you have thought of it; remembered it, of course you did.

"--no, you're fine. it's really not a big deal," he brushes it off along with a short laughter but it just sounds indifferent.

"did you celebrate it?"

he shakes his head slowly. was he supposed to? birthdays are just... birthdays. the day has passed so long ago that you came into the world, he will never understand the excitement and joy people have for the day they grow closer to death each year.

"not really? just kind of stayed home and watched a movie. i did get a text from wooyoung at least."

"oh..."

“just something my family never did much, i guess,” you simplify, and jongho nods along with an understanding hum.

“they’re really not all that,” san chips in, both yours and jongho’s heads snapping his direction. “waste of money and time.”

"then, consider it my gift to you." you strech an arm out, hanging the plushie in the air. "it's not anything... extravagant, but it's from the heart."

you break out into a tight-lipped smile because you're aware it's a bit silly, but when he accepts it with open hands, returning a genuine one of his own, you think it might not be.

"i'll take it."

an hour flying by, small talks after another and walks around the area to check out everything, san wants to play one last game before closing off the night.

a ring toss. you don't know how good you're going to be at this one, but either way, san offers to play for you. unsure of what he means by that, you stay back and watch, not really bothered that you're not playing since san is a sight two times more enjoyable.

before he finally manages to land on a bottle, he must've went through at least twenty rings. but he's so proud when he did, fist in the air and all, it's contagious enough for you to clap.

given the game is much harder than the last one you guys played, the prizes are much bulky; in size and value.

"for you," he says, all of a sudden shoving the giant teddy bear in your face, whose head is probably bigger than yours.

"me?" you repeat.

"yes. i said i'll play for you didn't i?"

he's quick to snatch the bunny that you were holding for him, practically rubbing the nose of the bear into your cheek, you have no other choice but to hug the stuffed animal like a baby.

"san, when you give someone something for their birthday, you don't get something back."

he chuckles.

"i know, but i want to. a gift from the heart."

and despite rolling your eyes at the mimicked phrase, sighing under your breath and bringing up again and again that he can keep the bear, you go to bed so happy.

laying on it awake, the event that took place earlier today playing repeatedly in your head and it makes you feel like a giddy schoolgirl all over again.

thinking about the words he used, the display of affections; all the parties he invited you to, and just how often he's been reaching out.

you know that you shouldn't. shouldn't fill your fragile heart up with hope and get optimistic about a boy who ignored you a month ago, but you can't help it.

can't help but fall for the bare minimums on a handsome smile and coy look; the sudden act of kindness that convinces you maybe love isn't dead, yet.

that something has changed in san and something has changed between you and him.

"will you be able to make it?"

every time your phone rings, your stomach sinks itself in, sometimes lounging across the room or tripping yourself on the way just to pick up his call and tell him yes, you can see him tonight.

sadly, just not this night.

neglecting school works has really caught up and now you're left with a stack of assignments that's due tomorrow or the day after that. it doesn't get any better that your writing class has now really transitioned into the 'creative' aspect and you're to come up with a draft of your own work before the end of the week.

"can't. i have too many assignments, sorry."

"ah... okay."

"but uhm, if i finish early i'll let you know?"

"yeah, sure. text me or something. good luck!"

it's still hard to shake off the disappointment, almost like a fear of missing out since you've went to so many of them, you know you could be enjoying yourself with a pretty boy instead of wallowing in misery.

but one, two, probably close to three hours goes by and you've somehow managed to tackle most of them. the ones due tomorrow at least.

you realize you're most likely not dumb, just lazy. and lazy you are, mind jumping straight into already rewarding yourself, what better way than to go to a party and let loose? you'll worry about your next set of assignments tomorrrow.

you text san like you said you would, waiting five minutes, then ten, then fifteen and there's still no reply.

maybe the music's too loud, maybe he ran into a drunk as hell wooyoung and is helping him, or maybe he's busy chatting with chris or whatever other ten plus people he knows there.

you figure you'll just show up. that's not too desperate, right? he's the one who's been inviting you after all, so why would he not want you there?

you make your way through the crowd willingly, this time with no one to guide you. all alone and pushing past the sweats and awful smell because he might be in the kitchen. he has to be.

maneuvering until you arrive at the entrance of the kitchen, always having been the brightest flame in the room, he's hard to miss because your eyes are drawn to him immediately.

as soon as you recognize that familiar head of black hair, time must've stopped and it must've taken your breath with it.

you've experienced a lot of pain in your life if that isn't evident by now. from your parents abandoning you to your mom telling you straight in the face that she never wanted you. then your aunt and uncle who isn't of much difference, to your first boyfriend who cheated.

your life is a mess.

and you understand in actuality, some of it could be considered much worse, but right now--in this moment, it feels like the pain in front of you is the worst one ever, it dulls everything else in comparison.

this pain knocks your breath away and you could almost faint from how sharp the hit is to your fragile heart.

to see san's hands resting on hips that isn't yours, face snuggled and flushed against another skin the same he would do to you. and if you think it can't get any worse, the short couple of seconds that you actually look away, you catch chris in that same old corner with a drink in his hand.

you briefly lock eye contact with him and he could only pretend to sip his cup while looking away to join the other boys again in a conversation.

that's when you realize; when it all sinks on you, that chris isn't a friend. he's the guy that sticks by san's side when he pulls shit like this, making sure no one walks into the room he's fucking a girl in, and informs him of any relevant information because why would you ever think choi san could have a change of heart just because he spewed a few sweet words and made you feel like the most special girl for two hours.

“this is y/n.” san’s voice snaps you out, blinking your lashes to a boy whose hair is bleached in blonde and staring at you with equally amusing eyes, a smirk curled at the corner of his lips.

“she’s cute,” he comments courtly, parting with a smile and going off to join the two from before at the corner, their introductions audibly out of your range.

to have thought it was a genuine compliment when he probably only looked at you as one of them. and thinking of all the times you couldn't make it and all the parties san attended without you.

the more you connect the dots, the more depressing it gets, and wow... stupid, you are so fucking stupid.

you knew, of course you did; had a feeling and all, not completely oblivious that you weren't the only one. you just didn't think it would hurt so much to actually see it for yourself; really see how easily replaceable you are.

still, you can't stop staring, and you must've stared for too long because she finally notices, eyes fleeting to you and pushing san off slightly before tilting her head and looking at you like she's bored.

as if waiting for you to find something else to entertain yourself with, because who the fuck are you to be an audience to her and the boy before her.

and san must've noticed; confused about the lack of body response and where her gaze is, that he turns his head back to see for himself. but you can't even properly digest the horror in his facial, the only thing you see is that deep, dark, and ugly mark on his neck along with a few lipstick stains in the shade of red close to his jawline and to his lips.

you can't stay here any longer and embarrass yourself like this, feeling a lone tear well at one of your eyes before moving back to the crowd.

"excuse me," you mutter, trying to push your way out of there, the last thing you hear from the kitchen is the marching of heavy footsteps and san's voice as he tries to catch up.

"wait, y/n!"

next // series m.list

taglist: @sorryimananti-romantic @revehosh @cookiechristie @avantalem @atiny68 @sannwa @shibera @mochibabycakes @justineasian @eastleighsblog @baguette-atiny @crimson-mia @yeosxxx @sleepychimm @atz-diary @diorwoo @naiify @becauseiloveyunho @damagelove @softie00 @s-nsanshine @atinytinaa @moonseonghwa @lemontreefantasy @wooyoung4eva @yeosangsbiceps @likexaxdaydream @knucklesdeepmingi @barbielibra @tmtxtf @brown88 @harusoraa @frankenstein852 @yujispinkhair @mermaid17venus @nolxverlikeme @writersun @kkayfan @wooyoungjpg @galaxypox @byunniebaekhyunnie

[tloaftyob]

10-16-2022

Well, birthday celebrations were all great. I got a go pro from my mom. We are going on a ski trip in January so I’m gonna record it with that. My parents are also separating, so there’s that too. Probably for the best, they’ll be happier that way.

Going out to the bars with my friends was great too. We were a bit late to the first place, most of them already there when we arrived. We stayed there for an hour or so, had some food and drinks. I had a really good fishbowl. Then we tried going to my other favorite place, but it was at full occupancy, so we decided to go to the place nextdoor, which is a bit more pricey, but turned out to be super cool. I had only been there once before, and not really looked around. The place has three stories, and an outside balcony for all of them. It was so cool. And a bar on the first and third floors. The second floor is smaller and has some booths. That’s where we set up after being on the third floor balcony for a while. I got pretty drunk, I was hungover the next morning. It took me 40 minutes to get down 2 pop tarts. I got a bunch of videos and pictures from the bars, so I’m super glad about that.

Going to Ellie’s parents the next day was good too. The good was good and there was a surprise cake. I need to throw that out, it’s been in my fridge for a month at this point. Whoops.

Not much has really happened since then. School has been going well. Grades are good. I cant wait to be done and living with Ellie. Everything here reminds me of the past 3 years and how good they were. I see people eating with friends, and I miss my friends who are all either graduated or living off campus. I see couples and miss Ellie. I walk past my old dorm hall and miss my old room, including it’s private bathroom. The hall I’m in now is attached to my freshman year hall, and even that makes me sad. I miss the beforetimes and this place being new and exciting. I am the only one left here, it feels like. Fall break just ended, we got Thursday and Friday off in addition to the normal weekend days. I liked how empty the campus was. I used to love breaks because it meant Ellie and I would have to campus mostly to ourselves for a while, most people went home. Now I like the breaks because it means I don’t have to look at people who are where I was years ago. They remind me of me. I am haunted by the ghost of my past self, I keep saying. I really feel that way. Anywhere on this campus, I can see myself walking, boarding, or whatever. Every sidewalk, alley, building, I have a memory of a better time. This place breaks my heart because I am alone now. I see Ellie multiple times a week, and I eat with colby a few times, but it is different than it was. I am no longer welcome on this alien planet I have called home for the last three years. It has become inhospitable, filled with new blood, aching to pump me out into the world. To bleed me out. Maybe I held on too long, that’s why I’m the only one left. I loved it too much. I would be gone had I not decided to double major. Too late now. I’m stuck here for a while.

Ellie and I got covid two weeks ago. It wasn’t too bad because we are healthy, young, vaxxerz. It was comparable to a cold that lasted longer than usual. Started with a sore throat and fever, turned to a cough and stuffy nose. I tested, it was positive. Missed 2 days of class quarantining. That was nice because I spent quarantine with her. I was setting up my new laptop for a lot of the time. The thing is a beast, it nearly beats my desktop. I had a hell of a time getting arch working with the dual GPUs though. I wish I would have got the laptop at the start of my college career, would have saved me a lot of headaches.

Ellie and I celebrated our 6 years and 10 months this weekend. We got Asian food (i had chicken pad thai for the first time, it was interesting) and watched “Pearl” in the theater. Her and I were the only ones there for a while, then a group of three came in a few minutes before the movie began. The theater was freezing. Like, 60 degrees Fahrenheit. It was ridiculous. The movie was good. Afterwards, Ellie and I went back to my dorm, she tied my hands above my head to the bed, and rode me. We tried that for the first time over quarantine, and she likes it. She likes teasing me, and she says there’s something so manly about my hands being tied. I don’t mind it if it means she enjoys it more. Feels good to me. She had a yeast infection over the summer and it flared up again, so she was burning down there while we were having sex, so she couldn’t enjoy it as much. We tried getting her medicine, but it didn’t work. We are going to try again this week to see if it’ll work better as a multiple day thing.

Last thing because it’s late, Ellie and I have chosen our wedding theme and date. It’s going to be in December 2024, dark pine green color, ski honeymoon to France. She has been learning French and I know it moderately well I think.

Ope, just remembered: I bought factorio two nights ago (I have had my eye on it for years) and have played 18 hours already. It is very fun. Very similar to satisfactory. I’d say it’s harder. More to come as I progress.

Alright, I think that’s all. I guess I was wrong when I said nothing much happened since my last post. Well, goodnight Tumblr.

[jiminrings]

bestie what if jungkook finally finds out that jin’s friends with y/n 😭😭😭 he’d live in embarrassment for like eight business days

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

jungkook wants to crawl in a ditch for bADLY misjudging a situation he should’ve foreseen in the first place

yoongi has never been this dedicated to curing his hangover

well actually, nO ONE was really forcing him to pick you and taehyung up anyway

you didn't even ask!!! you could 10/10 just call for an uber to bring back taehyung to his place

maybe, just maybe, it's your fault that when yoongi asked you where you were when he's just woken up from a long night of partying, you mentioned "i'm with taehyung" and hospital and go home in the same sentence so that's why he went to overdrive

did he process what you said correctly?? probably not <3

that's the whole reason why yoongi had wasted sIX eggs this morning!!

he read somewhere in passing and watched song-hwa from hospital playlist enough to know that drinking eggs apparently helps you with your hangover and some other things

first, he wasted tHREE eggs because apparently, you're not supposed to drink the eggs !!! whisked !!! because it "defeats" the whole purpose

but it's still an egg whether you whisk it and no one's sane enough to drink raw eggs unprovoked

yoongi nailed it on the second try and he might have gagged a few times but the important thing is, his hangover is all-cured from the stress of digesting raw eggs :D so now he can safely drive at a borderline dangerous speed to pick you and tae up

"hey kiddo."

you peer your head up to see yoongi looking down at you, ruffling your hair in greeting

you've been held up here for less than five hours anyway, and it's not that yOU look tired,,, it's just that maybe you could use a little more sleep

lol you got yoongi thinking for a second that you're the injured on

"hey champ," yoongi acknowledges taehyung who's smiling from his bed, getting a forehead flick from his senior to which he rolls his eyes to

taehyung's... dressed up already in his normal clothes?

he already has his shoe on too so yoongi doesn't quite get why the two of you still aren't standing up

"you're lucky you just got a flick," you add helpfully, yawning in remembrance, "he punched my arm when i fell down the stairs at the dorm."

and wHY is this conversation all pointing to him now??

"because the both of you did stupid things that landed you in the ER!"

"i was just trying to see if i can go down the stairs three steps at a time!!"

"i just wanted to embrace y/n!!!"

very stoopid decisions if you ask him

yoongi shifts his weight from one foot to another, still a little lost because he's already here, and the two of you are all-ready to go, and he's not really a fan of the smell of the hospital —

oh wait

"has the bill already been settled?" he asks in curiosity, fishing out his wallet from his pocket

"mhmm. already did," tae answers instantly, nudging yoongi to put his wallet back where it came from

uhm wait maybe it's the eggs that are talking but uh

..... if the bill's already paid-

"then why are we all just sitting here?"

taehyung opens his mouth but he cLOSES it shut the moment it all clicks in his head, belatedly looking at you whose face screams conflict

yoongi's eyes turn to you on instinct, narrowing his eyes because you're choosing not to meet his eyes

"we're uh, we're waiting for jungkook to come back from the restroom."

...

.....

.......

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yoongi's quiet, almost like he's calculating the variables in his mind

his mind's working harder rn that it did on his finals last week

"so jungkook is here?"

he gets war flashbacks every time he hears his name

he just shudders at the thought of him and he doesn't mean it positively lmao

"y-yeah! did i not tell you that at the call? he helped me get taehyung here," you scratch your nape in explanation, not accounting for the fact that yoongi still vERY much loathes jungkook when you called him

tae's not actually sure if he's helping you when he opens his mouth but he's trying his best <3

"yup! his shoulders were my crutch for like, three blocks. he also bought us food from the cafeteria while we were waiting to have my leg cast!!"

he glances at the fancy paper bags from the cafeteria downstairs, even some take-outs in there that makes it look all-stuffed

how in the living hELL is yoongi suppposed to feel about all of this :|

"i'm back! should i call an uber now? sorry, i bought these tiny hand sanitizers because they were having a sale at the pharmacy. y/n what scent do you-..."

jungkook happily chirps as he rummages through the bag he was given, preparing to scoop all the different scents to present them to you when he jUST had to look down at a familiar pair of shoes

as in the same black converse that he had the relief of looking at when someone was particularly asking him if he ever had a knuckle sandwich

"h-hi yoongi."

yoongi narrows his eyes at the kid who just squeaked, mouth puffed-up in disbelief that he looks like he's hiding a hamster in there

"bye jungkook."

yoongi uses tae as an excuse to shoo jungkook off as fast as possible but that kinda bites him in the ass

taehyung's going through a learning curve with his crutches and yoongi's making him wALK faster!!!! he still needs a little-

oh wait a minute :-)

"jungkook! help me walk to yoongi's car."

no

there is nO way that even taehyung's conspiring against him now

first jin and now taehyung????

tae solidifies his point by winking at yoongi, leaving you alone with him as you carry the paper bags of cafeteria take-outs

he's not exactly sure if he's helping you out at this situation, but once again, he's just trying his best and having fun alright!!! he likes to be included in these types of things hee-hee

yoongi has no choice now but to aLSO drive jungkook home, and the thought just makes him grumble from thinking about it

he'll have to disinfect his seats ://

"i haven't fully forgiven him if that's what you're thinking about," you chime in with his thoughts, looping your arm around his to help quell the visible stress in his mind

"it's your life," he puffs out because he doesn't want to meddle with you, consciously trying not to be overbearing when it comes to your choices

"i know. i just want you to know that your closest friend has the pride and the brains to not forgive an asshole, a goddamn junior, who said really mean things to her," you add thoughtfully and transparently, making yoongi break into a smile

ok that's got the heaviness in his chest a little lighter

"we should probably talk to each other one of these days."

you haven't had a heart-to-heart talk with yoongi for quite some time now because there weren't really any pressing issues of the sort to make the two of you talk face-to-face, but now it's probably needed

"we should."

:D

jungkook has never feared for his life in a car ride tHIS much before

and he's even wearing his seatbelt!!!!

you're sitting at the front seat and he's with taehyung at the back, the latter dozing off because yoongi indulged his request for sleep music with soft rain on the background (it doesn't make yoongi sleepy) in an attempt to make him feel better about his leg

the one-hour loop's working wonders because you're passed out on the front seat too

normally, this would also make jungkook sleepy

but how the fuck can he sLEEP when yoongi looks at him through the rear-view mirror like an apex predator??????

kook could take the easier route of pretending to sleep so he could get to avoid yoongi's gaze

but then if he pretends to sleep, yoongi would clearly see how his eyeballs are still very much trembling even when his eyes are shut and he's the furthest thing from being relaxed

don't get him started on stoplights too!!! that was just pure torture because jungkook was conflicted to whether or not he should look at him rIGHT back

taehyung and jungkook live in the same building anyway so that's more convenient because he actually wouldn't know how to act if he had to drop j-name (he honestly can't digest saying his name) separately

now that that's all over, jungkook feels oddly fulfilled in a way...?

fulfilled in a sense that even if partially, he managed to earn your forgiveness

he feels like he could sleep a little more peacefully knowing that he atleast did something right this time!!!

which is for the exact reason, he's gonna gUSH about this to mr. kim from student affairs!!!

it's uh the weekend and he walked to campus because he thinks that admin works even on weekends (mad respect)

it's noticeably a lot more empty compared to weekdays and it's just filled with freshmen with their hectic class schedules and some students who are just fulfilling units to graduate early

jungkook walks straight to student affairs and it instantly looks empty, the only familiar face in there being namjoon

as in mr. kim namjoon who's wearing a windbreaker rn and whose hair is dEFINITELY blonde than the last time (two days ago) that jungkook saw him

he's not here to work isn't he

wait is he here to rob the place ???!?#?!?

"and what are you doing here?"

namjoon is as confused as jungkook, his mouth opening and closing in dumbfoundedness

"o-oh! is mr. kim here? w-wait, you are here. i mean mr. kim seokjin, sorry. did he-"

"nope," namjoon shakes his head, putting his bucket hat back on to leave jungkook all by himself

namjoon from work and namjoon every other time besides work are TWO different entities

"we just came here to collect our paychecks. you missed jin by ten minutes."

oh well

his momentum's not entirely ruined!! jungkook just has to cram thinking of a recipe to put in your lunchbox by tomorrow and jin is his tried and tested saving grace

technically, jungkook already saw you this morning because of the whole taehyung in a cast thing, but he feels as if that the take-outs from the cafeteria aren't gonna cut it

he still needs to step up his game of course :D

so that's why jungkook forcibly enlisted jimin's help to make fish and chips for dinner and put them in two lunchboxes

one for you and one for yoongi!! he didn't skimp on the fish nor the chips and made sure they're still toasty and in peak-flavor when he delivers it to your dorm

is he intruding? is this a bad time? he didn't exactly know how to process when yoongi told him that he wouldn't stop him from making it up to you

he just iSN'T sure if delivering homemade lunchboxes at 7 in the evening to your dorm is optimal

oh good!! the door's opening :D

"good evening!! i uhm-"

... what

.......... WHAT

what the fuck is going on

seokjin is suprised to see that the guy at the door isn't from the delivery place he ordered from two minutes ago

... he may be disappointed

but what he is amused about is the way jungkook looks beyond confused and intimidated

jin's in a sleep shirt and some boxers and jungkook doesn't kNOW what to feel about all the variables present that he's trying to connect

"you look like you're hiding a goldfish in your mouth."

seokjin remarks and yawns when a fraction of a minute passes and jungkook's still frozen in his spot, his eyes darting to what the kid's holding

"oh c'mon! one for y/n and one for yoongi? you trying to make it up to him too? and none for me?" jin jives him further, leaning against the doorframe with a sleepy smirk on his lips, "i practically live here, and i gave you the tonkatsu recipe, and i'm the one who doesn't get a lunchbox?"

he eventually saw this coming lmao

jin knew that someway somehow, jungkook would come to know that hE's your close friend throughout the whole time

that he's been the sort of middleman all this time but nah he's on your team of course <3

that all this whining he's done to him has all been in the name of you and seokjin had to sit through ALLLL of that with his fists clenched underneath the table to calm himself down

"oh my god," jungkook's literally WEAK in the knees as it all connects in his mind, the gravity of this scenario kicking down on him

he really iS such a fucking asshole

how did he not hypothesize this????? how wasn't he able to connect you and yoongi and jin as each other's closest friends???

his legs are literally about to give out so that's why seokjin snatches the lunchboxes from his hands

"i am so, so, so sorry mr. kim. i-i really didn't-..."

jin pays him no mind, opening the lunchboxes slightly as he whistles at the sight of fish and chips

meanwhile jungkook is so sO close to crying both in realization and very very slight relief because he knows atleast one of your friends doesn't hate him that much

the door opens wider, the creaking getting both of his and jin's attention

"what's taking you so long? is the-..."

yoongi switches his gaze between the two lunchboxes on jin's hand and jungkook sitting on the floor looking like he's had the shock of his lifetime

wow this is really amusing

this is in fact so amusing that yoongi can't help but to snap a picture for him and jin to laugh at later

"bye, jeon."

yoongi grabs one of the lunchboxes from jin's hand and goes back into the dorm, leaving jungkook alone with mr. student affairs

seokjin chuckles as he outstretches his hand to make jungkook stand up and shoo him off sooner than later so he wouldn't look like a pebble in front of your dorm

he pats him on the back, only having to pull him slightly to get him closer to his ear

"we're still mad at you kid, don't get it twisted. you're lucky i didn't expel you."

jungkook pales at the realization overall, only weakly nodding his head as he attempts to take in everything while trying to look at the bright side

seokjin cheerily closes the door, waving at him who looks so close to passing out from hock

"bye jungkook!!!"

[promptprophet]

Welcome back

I am not dead, although I am ready to throw down. Okay so there is a lot under the cut, but by every star in the sky I have been gone from all of my blogs for a while due to some roccuring issues. If any follow my main at @prophet-rebellion then you may have noticed that.

Some pro-tips:

1. Do not attend a gathering with family that does not believe in Covid. Because if they are anything like mine, someone will tell them they tested positive, your Uncle will encourage them to come anyways and not tell a single other person - and then, surprise surprise, everyone ends up with Covid.

2. Do not let your advisor plan your schedule entirely. Even if they are the Dean of your department. Because if they are still like mine, they will give you six classes. Which would not be an issue of 18 credit hours if it were not for the fact that 5 or the 6 are writing enriched. The only one that it not is math-based which is not my strong suite anyways.

But, in other news - I took a toll for the worst at one point. It has since gotten better. Granted, I had to be the biggest pain-in-the-ass to the campus physiatrist because he wanted to revoke some of my medication. Just because I am somehow making all As for the moment does NOT mean that I do not need my ADHD medication.

Speaking of! Yours truly got formally diagnosed with combination ADHD, depression, and anxiety. And after a lot of trial and error, we have found a medication and dosage that actually helps with the latter two! ADHD is still a work in progress because he is fighting me on it. He also doesn’t want me taking my meds unless I have a face-to-face class that day - as if it is some 9-5 weekdays only issue and I do not have class outside of those times, or online ones. But! A work in progress!

Also, Covid gave me the perfect chance to drop an incredibly toxic group of people in my life. One one hand, my mental health is so much better for it, and so is my own sense of self worth. On the other, it is definitely hard to do and hard to adjust to suddenly losing so many people. But I have reconnected with my 14 year old sister for the first time in 5 years - she wants to have lunch. Which is nice considering I have no spoken to my sisters in 5 years for her, 6 years for the older one (the middle). And I am also trying to reach out to my brothers more. It is interesting, because I did not know them until later. I am the oldest out of 5, 2 half-sisters of my mom’s side, 2 half-brothers on my dads, ironically enough.

I am also seeking out a competent doctor even with Medicaid, because I know need two more surgeries. This will make surgeries 4 and 5. It should have been 2 at most. But 5? And that is minimum, not counting if anything goes wrong again. It is taking longer, because I refuse to see my prior surgeon, and the only opening this past winter break as when I had to have my wisdom teeth removed, so, that did not happen.

Given circumstance I have managed to find a place to stay during breaks. Which is great because as some of you may recall I was kicked out after I turned 18 in 2019, and the room I rented over that summer was terrible (maybe leaving a known alcoholic with no regard for privacy alone with a just then 18 year old girl is a bad idea - if the number of times he barged into my room unannounced to try and get me to drink with him was anything to go by), but it was so my parents could travel full-time. Which, they are doing now and I am happy for them because my mom has 10 years maximum if she is lucky before needing oxygen (Smokers Lung), and my dad is dealing with medical injuries he got while serving - they discharged him because they would never heal right.

I have also picked back up with my job on my college campus! So money! And have secured a much better paying job over break than my McDonalds job, meaning I am not so hard pressed for cash. Which is also great because the last week of summer I had to dish out $2500 for my truck after it broke down in Tennessee and we had to get towed back to North Carolina.

So! Down to business! Now that I know what was wrong with me, and I no longer have issues with suicide, I’m on medication, and last semester I had a therapist that was a major help to me. I am actually in a better spot to be here. It has certainly taken a lot of work, and 2020-21 has thrown just about everything that it seems to have been able and hell, I am still looking for a third job.

Speaking of, god damn, the commissions! Jesus H. Christ, I wanted those done by January! And it’s March! Although I have been making progress on them, that is absolutely true - I am working on them a bit oddly though, switching between which ones I do to try and stop burn out and also because I was not drawing while mentally at my lowest. So to anyone who commissioned me who may not be looking at those messages, but sees this, I am sorry, they are being worked on. And I understand this is a ridiculous amount of time to wait for them and thank you all for being so patient.

I have also been considering if it is a good choice for me to come back to this page, and yes, I think that it is. Having something that I do every day has proven to be very helpful, and the amount of joy and love I have for these pages and the followers on them is immense. I was trying to clear out storage on my phone and I have an album just of prompts or asks that you guys have sent that continue to make my day. It really does mean the world to me.

I cannot be too sure if many have noticed my absence, if Prompt Guy did either. But I am stopping it now. I am finally in a good place. And yeah, I have a lot to do still - if all goes according to plan then I graduate next year. So after this I only have two more semesters before I graduate with my Bachelors in Business, with a focus on Entrepreneurship at the age of 20. And I better because I cannot afford to be in college much longer. I want to be back here, and return to my regular postings and interactions. I am getting those commissions done no matter what - that is a constant guilt over my head. Trust me, I know that it is there. I know. But I joined as an admin because I had followed this page the day it was created. And then I saw it had gone dead with no posts, so I applied as an admin. I got it. And things went very well. Well, I intend to hold back to what I wanted when I was first on this page, bringing it back to consistent postings for everyone.

I am here. I am back. And I am staying.

Also, I apologize if there are any typos, I have been doing a lot or writing for homework and personal work (trying to stop burn out and the threat of school ending my love to write) and my eyes have been strained the last few days, so everything is a bit fuzzy. Speaking of fuzzy! Turns out I needed glasses! So I have glasses now!

Yours truly, Prompt Prophet

[byologee]

an actually practical guide to being premed and getting into med school by someone who did it successfully

Majors and Classes:

Personally I feel you should choose a major that will be complementary to your premed studies-- something STEM or social science based that overlaps with your premed classes and will allow you to take upper level science classes that relate to physiology, disease and illness, pharmacology, etc. HOWEVER do not let this deter you from majoring in a non-bio STEM area like biochem or from pursuing a different science or liberal arts major.

That being said, consider double majoring in Public Health because it is very relevant to premed and going into medicine.

Make sure you take the correct order of bio and chem classes. This is important so that you take classes at the appropriate time when you have the appropriate skill level and so that you do not have any gaps in your premed education or major classes.

Be aware of what upper level bio and chem classes require prereqs that are not a part of your major requirements or premed requirements; for example some upper level bio classes require microbio which is not a premed requirement at all schools NOR always a major requirement. Plan your underclassmen years accordingly to allow you to fit in certain prereqs for upper level classes.

If you plan on taking lower level lab intensive courses, take them as an underclassman-- they will prepare you with basic lab skills you can apply to upper level classes and to irl lab work, plus most of your classmates will be underclassmen. You do not want to take these lower level lab intensive courses as an upperclassman. You will be bored and probably annoyed.

Take an intro level public health class as an underclassmen to see if you are interested in public health; this will also be relevant to your med school apps.

Gen chem 1 and orgo 1 are weedout classes. Many people will switch from premed and/or bio to public health or prePA after taking gen chem 1 and orgo 1. This is normal; don’t be judgemental. If you’re the one switching to public health or prePA, don’t feel bad or ashamed.

Do not take orgo 1 or 2 with super hard progressors. It’s just not worth it. Many people say that harder orgo progressors prepare you better for the MCAT, but this is false as the MCAT does not have a lot of orgo on it. Many people will fail out of orgo even without super hard professors. Set yourself up for success by taking orgo profs with good reputations, not profs with reputations for failing everyone, being purposefully difficult, or just nasty.

If you take a (relatively) “easy” professor for orgo 1, under no circumstances should you take a hard prof for orgo 2. You will suffer.

The best way to study orgo 1 and 2 is to memorize all the reactions. Copy reactions until you have them memorized. Then you can simply apply what you’ve memorized to synthesis reactions. This works for NMR too, just memorize what NMR specs look like and apply.

Always go to TA office hours for gen chem 1, 2 lab and orgo 1, 2 lab. The lab reports are very difficult and the TAs can help you more than professors can. Professors will be mostly absent for labs. TAs will know what’s up.

You do not need to take biochem 2 for the MCAT, biochem 1 will suffice as it generally covers amino acids and proteins and not respiration and metabolism. Most of the biochem on the MCAT is about amino acids and proteins; all metabolism can be self-studied. (This is my opinion to save you time, if your advisors tell you otherwise LISTEN TO THEM and not me).

If you take AP psychology you do not need to take intro psych.

You need to take a sociology course for the MCAT and premed reqs. You should take The Sociology of Deviance if offered at your college as this is more relevant to the MCAT than intro socy.

If you have to take a professional writing class for Gen Eds, try to take a science writing or health professions writing course as these will be relevant to you.

Take stats even if you don’t have to as it is very relevant for understanding papers.

If you switch to another pre-health path like prePA or prepharm you will generally have to take different prereqs. Clear this with your advisors and come up with a plan.

Med schools like to see a diversity in courses and not just science courses, so you need to take at least 8 humanities credit hours. Diversify your college education and take interesting and relevant humanities courses; this will also help with CARS on the MCAT.

Research

Many medical schools want you to have research experience. You can do clinical research or bench research.

You should start research early, either 2nd semester freshman year or summer before sophomore year.

The best advice is to research professors and PIs in the BSCI and public health departments and email ones you are interested in about working in their lab. You can do this before 2nd semester freshman year or during that semester. Email example: Hi Dr. X, I am an undergraduate freshman at UMD and am looking for research opportunities in X field. I discovered your lab and read your paper, “X,” and am very interested in this subject! Elaborate on what interested you I was wondering if there are any open positions in your lab for an undergraduate researcher. I have taken X, X, X, courses. I would be interested in working in your lab for 2 years. Please let me know if you have any openings! Best, X

PIs generally look for undergrads to commit to 2 years of research, but you can quit earlier if you feel like it. This is also why you should do research earlier-- that way you are not cramming it in during your upperclassman years.

The goal is to get some abstracts, posters, presentations, and maybe a pub out of it, but these things aren’t absolutely necessary.

Clinical Experience

Med schools like to see 10 months of continuous clinical experience, which translates to about 200 hours. However, this number is too low and to be really competitive for med school apps you should aim for 1000 hours if not more.

The best way to gain clinical experience is to work part time as a scribe, CNA, MA, or tech. You can take CNA and MA courses the summer before sophomore or junior year and apply to positions online. CNA/MA gives you a lot of experience working with patients. Scribing gives you a lot of experience working with doctors and seeing what they do. It’s best to start clinical experience sophomore year or junior year so you can gain enough hours prior to applying.

You should also have clinical volunteering hours which you can get by volunteering at hospitals such as Children’s or Shady Grove or any other local hospital. Other clinics also accept volunteers, you just have to look around. Check your health professions advising office (hereon abbreviated as HPAO) for their recommendations and job listings if available.

You can also shadow doctors. Your HPAO may have a continuously updating list of physicians in your area who are available to shadow. You can also genuinely just email local providers. Note that you will need to shadow a DO if applying DO.

Check your HPAO listserv for job openings and clinical volunteering opportunities.

You can find jobs by googling “CNA job near me” or “scribe job near me” and browsing postings on Indeed and other job sites, or alternatively postings on hospital sites.

Community Service

Med schools like to see 10-12 months of continuous community service, or around 200 hours. This is too low, and you should aim for around 600 to be a competitive applicant.

Join school listservs and look for volunteer postings. Go to your school’s First Look Fair or college organization fair (usually held at the beginning of each semester) and sign up for emails from clubs that do volunteering or other various organizations. There are many organizations on campus that do volunteering and service.

Ideally you want to work with marginalized communities off campus. This sounds shitty but you want to work with communities who need it. You should also aim for a sustained service opportunity, not a once a month thing but a weekly, continuous experience. Volunteering through clubs and societies like the women’s premed organization are not valid experiences.

Google local homeless shelters, women’s shelters, STD testing clinics, and food banks-- these are all really good places to volunteer at. You can also volunteer at crisis hotlines.

You can also utilize clinical experience for community service, so volunteering at a hospital, clinic, urgent care, etc. But you also need non-clinical community service, so make sure to prioritize both.

Consistency is key. Doing an experience for a longer period of time (ex. 4 hours every week for 10 months- year) is very valuable. Even doing an hour of volunteering at the same place every week for two years is great. Building relationships, gaining experience, understanding consistency-- med schools value this. Long term experience is very important.

Extracurriculars

You should also be involved in extraneous, non-community service based organizations and extracurriculars. It’s ok if these organizations include some aspect of community service. This can also include paid-positions that are not clinical.

Examples include campus ministries, sports, dance, art clubs, music/choir, social, restorative, and environmental justice organizations, interest groups, tutoring, co-ed frats, etc.

Joining societies, like the American Women’s Medical Association or your college’s namesake Pre-Med Society is a great way to do extracurriculars, build your resume, and get leadership experience. You can also join major-specific societies.

Check with your HPAO for a list of pre-health societies you can join. Your college will also have a website or list of clubs and orgs you can investigate.

Med schools like to see that you are well-rounded, so having a variety of experiences is important.

Advising

It is extremely important that you build a relationship with your advisors. It is very important that you outline all the classes you want to take with them and when AND that you meet with them every semester. Discuss your plans with them, ask questions, ask for suggestions and tips. If you make any major or minor changes you need to speak with them too. They are a resource; use them.

You will also need to build a relationship with your pre-med advisors at your HPAO. You may need to do an intro workshop to be able to meet with an advisor at your HPAO.

Meet with an HPAO advisor every semester to outline your courseload, volunteering, clinical work, extracurriculars, and application plan. Your HPAO advisor will help you craft a narrative for med school apps and can help advise you with regards to coursework and what opportunities to pursue. They can help you decide when to take the MCAT, when to apply, devise a school list, etc. so it’s best to start meeting with them early. The better your relationship with your HPAO advisor, the stronger the recommendation letter you’ll get from them.

If your grades drop you NEED to speak with an HPAO advisor. You should be checking in with them every semester to go over your grades and course history and make sure you are on the right track to apply. This is really really crucial.

If your HPAO offers workshops for applying to med school, crafting a school list, financing med school, writing a personal statement, etc. then GO TO THEM. Utilize the resources that are available to you.

Make sure you are on your HPAO listserv.

If your HPAO offers peer to peer advising consider using this resource to speak with current college students who are going through the application process.

2 Areas Med Schools Look At: Leadership + Diversity and Inclusion

These are two hot topics med schools care about. Here is how to address them.

Leadership: there are numerous ways to gain leadership experience; getting elected to a leadership position in a club or organization, being a TA or UA, getting a management position at your job, or being any kind of team leader in a community service endeavor. The important thing is that you are able to express what you learned and how you grew or changed from that experience, plus how you will apply what you learned in the future.

Diversity and Inclusion: Hot topics in medicine right now, my advice is to read about diversity and inclusion in medicine and what it means-- read articles, op-eds, peer-reviewed papers, etc. There are a few ways to go about this issue; one is to find out what is unique about you that you can contribute to medicine, the second (and most important) is to work with underserved and marginalized communities. Being able to express in med school apps and interviews that you understand the difficulties faced by marginalized groups and are committed to better health and wellness outcomes is REALLY important. Being able to show awareness about diversity in medicine is so key. To do this, spend time working with the marginalized and underserved through community service and clinical work. Be able to show med schools that you understand and care about diversity and inclusion.

You should be thinking about leadership and diversity/inclusion throughout all four years of undergrad-- how will you incorporate these things into your app?

Letters of Rec

Getting letters of rec (you will need 5-6) is very important. To do this you will need to build relationships with the following…

Professors: You will need recommendations from 2 science professors and 1-2 non-science professors. To get recs you need to go to office hours, ask questions in class and outside of class, email profs questions, stay after class to ask questions, participate, show an interest in what they are teaching. Office hours are important unless the class is small. Build relationships with professors ALL THROUGHOUT undergrad. Go to office hours even if you don’t have questions, especially in junior and senior year. Go and ask them to review prior tests and papers. Ask if you can explain concepts to them to get clarification. Listen to other peoples’ questions, piggyback off them. A prof is not going to write a LOR unless they know you.

Physicians: You need to have clinical experience to get an MD LOR. And you NEED an MD or DO LOR. Get the clinical experience, then ask whatever physician you worked with the most for an LOR. Many will say you do not need a DO LOR to apply to DO schools; I cannot advocate for this as I was told by my premed advisor that I needed one. Be safe and get one if you plan to apply DO.

Other: If there is anyone else who knows you well and can write a strong LOR, ask them. Your boss, manager, volunteering organizer, team leader, club sponsor-- whomever.

Committee Letter (CL): Many med schools require these. Your college probably has a unique CL process. Go to workshops, research, and ask your advisors how this process works. Maintain a relationship with your premed advisors to obtain a good CL letter.

Building a Narrative

This is talked about a lot junior and senior year when you are applying, but it’s important to think about building your narrative all four years of undergrad.

What this means is that you want to center your application around a theme or common experiences. You want to build a cohesive resume of common volunteering, clinical, and extracurricular experiences that complement each other. You should be able to summarize all of your experiences and draw a narrative about you based on what you have done.

For example, my narrative centered around marginalized and underserved communities as well as social and restorative justice. I used my volunteering experience with marginalized, underserved kids and my experience working with traditionally underserved patients to explain why I want to be a physician, what my medical vision and mission is, and what I have learned about medicine. Because I am interested in family medicine I was able to tie my experience working with the underserved into my goal of improving community health and welfare among marginalized groups. I also discussed how my passion for social and restorative justice ties into my clinical experiences and how I plan to integrate this passion into my practice of medicine.

One of my friends centered her narrative around being a Spanish-speaking person of color AND the descendent of physicians and how this has shaped many of her experiences in medicine and healthcare.

You don’t have to plan out your experiences to conform to a pre-chosen narrative. You do have to be able to draw common themes and lessons from your experiences, however.

MCAT

Talk to your premed advisor about when to take the MCAT and what classes you need to take prior to taking the MCAT. Ideally you want to take biochem 1, physics 2, and sociology of deviance before taking the mcat along with all other prereqs.

You also want to take the MCAT before applying (ideally) so that you can craft an appropriate school list. Your MCAT will give you a boundary for which schools you can apply to. Think of the MCAT as a checkpoint you must pass to apply to certain med schools.

Many people start content review six months before their test. Some start 2-3 months prior. Do what you think is comfortable.

You can use books or purchase review courses (Kaplan, Princeton Review) or use free online review content (Khan Academy).

Practicing how to take the test is more important than content review. What that means is that doing practice tests will help you more than reviewing content. Take as many practice tests as you can (AAMC makes their own).

Do a practice test one day, review what you got wrong the next day. Repeat this enough times and you will do well on the MCAT (511+).

Don’t anticipate retaking the MCAT. But don’t exclude it as a possibility either, so plan when you take the MCAT accordingly.

General Advice:

ALWAYS listen to your premed advisors. Do not elevate advice given by random strangers (including me) on the internet above advice given by your advisors. They know you. They know your history, your transcript, your personality. Us internet people do not. Trust your advisors. They know what they are doing.

Take everything said on the internet by supposed med school app experts, med students, doctors, premeds, SDN mods and commenters, premed redditors, and other random internet people with a BIG grain of salt. We don’t always know what we are talking about.

Limit the amount of time spent on SDN and premed reddit as well as other premed online forums. It can get unhealthy real fast.

You don’t have to study all the time. It’s ok to take breaks and have fun.

Don’t be afraid to reach out and get help or ask questions. Everyone else is struggling too. Your professors want you to do well.

Do non-science related things. Give your mind a break and diversify your experience.

Failing a test is not the end of the world. Many people fail tests and classes. You won’t be alone. Always remember that the curve exists.

If you are having a problem, talk to your professors and TAs. They are there to help.

Study with people. Quiz each other. Make study guides and ask each other questions. Help each other out.

Utilize campus resources- tutoring, study groups, yoga classes, conferences and seminars, counseling, etc.

Buy the MSAR when you start building your school list. It will make comparing schools so much easier.

A B or even a C is not going to ruin your chance of getting into medical school. People get in to med schools with 3.1 GPAs. You will be ok if you fail one test, have a few Cs or Bs, withdraw from a class, etc.

Getting into med school is more about fit than anything else. It’s not about how smart you are or how good your GPA or MCAT is. Everyone has a 4.0 Everyone has a 528. What matters is fit-- who you are, what you believe, what your values are, what your aspirations are-- and how you can demonstrate these things through your application, interview, and overall experiences. Remember that top tier schools are research-oriented (Einstein, Baylor, Johns Hopkins, Harvard, Stanford, NYU, Duke, Mayo, UChicago, Mt Sinai) whereas other lower tier will be more community focused.

ALL med schools (excluding caribbean med schools and a few DO schools, looking at you DMUCOM and LECOM) are valid. All med schools are good med schools. Med school is med school is med school. You will come out with an MD or DO and you will get into residency.

Always apply DO. Just do it. DO is great, DO is a viable option and good opportunity. Do it. Do not exclude it.

Links and other Resources:

AAMC: MD applicants, helpful resources in general https://students-residents.aamc.org/preparing-medical-school/preparing-medical-school

AACOM: DO applicants https://www.aacom.org/become-a-doctor/how-to-apply-to-osteopathic-medical-college

MSAR: handbook to med schools (MD) https://students-residents.aamc.org/medical-school-admission-requirements/medical-school-admission-requirements-applicants

AAMC’s how to apply to med school https://students-residents.aamc.org/applying-medical-school/applying-medical-school

AAMC’s FAQ and tips to creating a good app: https://students-residents.aamc.org/ask-experts/ask-experts-create-winning-application

Why Diversity Matters in Healthcare https://explorehealthcareers.org/career-explorer/diversity-matters-health-care/

[luxekook]

chapter one.

⇥ pairing: jungkook x reader; eventual bts/ot7 x reader

⇥ genre: college au with fluff, smut & angst

⇥ summary: a series in which the reader meets (and falls for) seven members of the Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) fraternity

⇥ word count: 2.3k

⇥ warnings: 18+, cursing, dirty talk, kissing, hickies, drinking, tatted jungkook, nipple piercings

© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.

characters | prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

Chapter One

Fall of Junior Year – 8:57am

I curse every single decision that has brought me to this very moment as I power-walk across campus, sweating under the already blistering sun. Campus in August could easily be compared to a swamp given the amount of unearthly humidity, and I'm pretty sure I currently qualified as the local swamp thing.

The only positive feature in my morning has been the table of free coffee and doughnuts staffed by Student Government. The first day of the fall semester always seems to be accompanied by frantically wide-eyed freshmen and celebratory freebies. However, air conditioning is the only thing I would be celebrating today as I finally reach Tyson Hall – the destination of my 9:00am class.

As I rush to my classroom with one minute to spare, I slump into a seat in the far corner – my preferred location for people-watching out of the large windows and for getting away with doing homework for other classes.

Familiar faces surround me, an unsurprising observation given that this is our mandatory research seminar as psychology majors. I notice my friend Jenni sitting in the opposite corner, eyes glued to her phone screen.

Opening my laptop, I shoot her a text to come sit with me. Her head whips up, black braids moving every which way as she immediately piles up her things and hustles over, “(y/n), I forgot you were in this seminar! I just switched over from quantitative research because I couldn’t take any more statistics – or Dr. Harding.”

Dr. Harding is the dean of the psychology department and has been teaching here for ages. Feared by most psychology students for his tough grading and intimidating persona, he’s actually a huge softie – something I discovered by going to his office hours and seeing all 85 pictures of his grandchildren hanging throughout the room.

“He’s not that bad, Jen.”

She scoffs, “You would say that because you got an A in statistics like some sort of wizard. Besides, Dr. Newman is so much nicer.”

Jenni has an excellent point. Dr. Newman is the main reason I chose this seminar. As one of the most respected researchers at our university, she’s known for her qualitative studies on gender across cultures. I consider Dr. Newman to be a real badass woman and I lowkey stan her.

I turn to reply, but Dr. Newman begins taking attendance and class begins.

Fifty minutes later, Jenni practically drags me out of the classroom, “I cannot believe she kept us the whole 50 minutes. Is she aware that it’s syllabus week? It’s practically law to just read over the syllabus and then dismiss class. This is outrageous– (y/n), are you even listening?”

“Hmm?” I totally had tuned her out, focusing on the number of students flooding the quad. I had missed this – the rush of students heading to class, the yells of people greeting each other from entirely too far away, the buzz of excitement over potential parties…

“Unbelievable. How did I forget you have this whole weird-ass feminist crush on her?” Jenni forges forth, “It doesn’t matter. What are you doing tonight? You’re going out with us, right? Luna and I want to go to Hannigan’s.”

Since the three of us had all turned 21 over the summer, we finally could legally go to the bars in town. Hannigan’s currently holds the top spot on the list of bars that most of the upperclassman frequent. It’s a popular Irish pub downtown known for its cheap beer and mixed drinks.

It’s also BTS’s unofficial hangout – a fact that makes me slightly uneasy. After learning who the higher-ups are in BTS, I have taken to avoiding them like the plague. It was a relatively easy thing to do since the spring semester tended to be less focused on rushing and recruiting for fraternities and sororities.

But now it’s rush season, and I’m pretty much fucked. There will be no avoiding seeing BTS’s president Kim Namjoon out recruiting with his vice president Min Yoongi and his social chair Jung Hoseok. There will also be no avoiding pledge master Taehyung leading around new BTS pledges like a mother duckling. And don’t even get me started on how Kim Seokjin, Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook will be popping up everywhere to advertise the latest BTS bash.

Sighing, I figure that the chances of actually bumping into them at the bar will be slim, given that it will most likely be super crowded and I can easily blend in.

I turn to Jenni as we keep walking towards our next classes, “Yeah, I’ll go to Hannigan’s. Are you going to come over to get ready at our place?”

Luna and I had moved into a cute little off-campus apartment over the summer. As it turned out, it’s cheaper to live off-campus than on-campus if you look hard enough. We also had it pretty good location-wise being just a few short blocks from both campus and downtown.

“Yes!” Jenni replies, slowing to a stop out front of the science building, “I’ll be over around 8 with tequila. I’ll text you later. I’ve got to go to neuro-psych lab now,” she rolls her eyes, “Hopefully we won’t be kept the whole time.”

Waving, we part ways, and I shake my head.

Tequila never leads to anything good.

Hannigan’s – 10:54pm

Fate seems to be on my side for once in my life. As soon as Luna, Jenni and I walk into Hannigan’s, my eyes are drawn to the back table where the BTS usually sits. It’s empty.

It’s practically an unspoken rule that no one else can sit there, and even though the bar is packed with all other tables accounted for, that one remains vacant – and for good reason.

Greek life essentially has a cult following around here. The Greeks provide status for those who are into that whole exclusivity thing. They also provide the best parties because of the size of their houses and because the university will never complain about one of their best sources of revenue.

I didn’t to rush a sorority way back in freshman year because I couldn’t feasibly afford it. The dues were way out of my price range, considering I was already paying for my education on my own. Luna, on the other hand, is in Epsilon Xi Delta (EXID) and consistently makes me and Jenni tag along to different Greek parties with her.

"Come on, bitches! Let's get some drinks," Jenni drags me and Luna through the packed room towards the bar that is already encircled by a crowd of thirsty students.

Tonight’s plan is simple – stick together, have fun, scope out cute seniors. Having already taken some shots before we left (saving that coin), we’re definitely feeling ourselves, flaunting our outfits like we didn’t spend a good hour picking them out earlier.

I had settled on a black t-shirt dress with a checkered flannel tied around the waist and some black Doc Martens. Luna and Jenni had tried to convince me to wear heels with them, but I knew syllabus week was a marathon – not a sprint. My feet would thank me later, and theirs would be crying.

As the bartender slides us our beers, the opening beats of Cocky AF by our badass queen Megan Thee Stallion blast through the speakers dispersed throughout the bar. Turning immediately to each other, we clink our beers together, take a sip, and head to the makeshift dance floor.

We squeeze and push our way through the masses until we reach a spot towards the back where the crowd has thinned out a little more. Within seconds, we’re in motion, hips swaying in time to Megan saying ‘bitch, I look good and you know that’.

Shaking out my hair, I get in the zone and lose count of how many songs we dance to. Eventually, our beers empty and Luna turns to me, “Another?" She accompanies her shouted question with an unnecessary charade of shot-gunning a beer in case I couldn’t hear her. I roll my eyes, laughing while I nod in response.

“Save our spot!” Jenni yells and disappears into the crowd of dancers with Luna towards the bar.

I continue dancing on my own. Swaying my hips, I decide to put my hair up to try to cool off a little in the sweltering bar. The music shifts into a new song, this one slower, more seductive, a favorite of mine – Lost in the Fire featuring The Weeknd.

As Abel’s angelic voice flows over me, a pair of hands slide over my hips from behind me. I start to pull away, but then I notice – the hands are tattooed. And for some reason, that hot little fact makes me relax into the large body behind me.

Those tattooed hands tug me back even more, bringing me flush against him as he falls into time with my movements. God, this guy can dance – a rarity these days.

His body is all hard muscle and heated skin. His mouth is hot against my neck, alternating between kissing, sucking, and biting. My skin buzzes. Fuck, I haven’t felt this way since–

Turning my head slightly, I can make out the vague outline him and it confirms my sinking suspicion... He’s a BTS boy.

"Hey, noona," he murmurs in my ear, his lips brushing over it as he speaks.

Fuck my life, I think as I shiver involuntarily in response. Spinning to face one of Satan’s henchmen, I toss my ponytail over my shoulder and jut a hip out in both defiance and defense. But really nothing could have prepared me for the sight of Jeon fucking Jungkook, the golden boy of BTS.

He somehow looks like he’s gotten even bigger since the last I saw him playing pong against Taehyung at that party – information that I cannot even comprehend. His left arm is completely tattooed, along with a few smaller ones dotting his hands. I glare at them, blaming those hands for throwing me off.

“Like them?” Jungkook waves his fingers in front of my narrowed eyes, “I got them this summer.” Smirking lazily, Jungkook makes his own perusal of me – taking extra time along the way.

His jaw flexes as his eyes turn molten, “You’re killing me, noona. Tae didn’t mention…” He trails off, swallowing hard.

I follow his gaze. Oh fuck. I had forgotten I decided to forego a regular bra tonight because I wanted to show off my piercings. Just having a thin bralette under my dress, my pierced nipples are definitely noticeable under Jungkook’s heavy stare.

Refusing to give into him, I square my shoulders, “Yeah, I got them this summer, too. But, I don’t see how that’s either your or Taehyung’s business.”

At my words, Jungkook rips his eyes away from my tits to finally meet my own eyes again, “Oh, but it really is our business. Tae said we’d like you and I agree.”

His voice is low and rough, and I swear I can feel it washing over my body, making all of my synapses fire in response.

“We?” I choked out. In full panic mode, I spin and try to leave, but I barely make it a foot away before getting stopped by a now-familiar tattooed hand wrapped around my wrist.

Luckily, a crashing sound echoes from the back table where the other BTS boys must be, and Jungkook lets out a string of curses, “Fucking hell, listen I have to go make sure no one’s hurt, or Joon will kill me. Stay here, okay? I’m not done with you, (y/n).”

His hand rushes up to the nape of my neck, pulling me into him. Our lips fuse together in a brutally hot kiss, his tongue slipping against my bottom lip for a fraction of a second.

And then he’s gone – disappearing rapidly through the fray to manage whatever trouble his frat has gotten into.

I stand there, shaking fingers on my lips wondering what the actual fuck just happened.

“Hey, sorry we took so long! This bitch cut in front of us and I swear she ordered for the entire fucking population of North America—”

Luna smacks Jenni’s arm, cutting her off, “You okay, (y/n)?” Luna peers closer at me, “Holy shit, is that a hickey?  We were only gone for 10 minutes!”

My hand flies to my neck as both Jenni and Luna grab me, dragging me to the slightly quieter back alley of the bar. As they conduct the second Spanish Inquisition, I spill the details on what happened.

After a moment of silence following my explanation, they both start talking at once:

→ Jenni: “Hell yes, girl, go off! Jeon Jungkook is fine as fuck…” → Luna: “(y/f/n) (y/m/n) (y/l/n), have you lost your damn mind…”

→ Jenni: “…I’d hit that in a heartbeat. I’m so proud!” → Luna: “…Do you not remember last semester? Are you high? Oh my GOD, did he drug you?!”

“Stop!” I slap a hand over each of their mouths, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph, you guys are impossible. I am not ‘hitting’ anything, and, no, he did not fucking drug me.”

Sighing, I continue, “It was a lapse in judgement, okay? I remember last semester more than anyone, but he’s just so powerful and I don’t seem to have any common sense around BTS.”

I take my hands away from their mouths and immediately Jenni asks, “Wait, what happened last semester?”

Luna slings an arm around my shoulder, “Come on, let’s go get pizza and a six-pack from Ralph’s. We can go out another night this week.”

“Take-out from Ralph’s?” Jenni’s eyes widen comically, “This must be major tea. Let’s go.”

Instinctively, we clink our beers together for the second time that night and chug the remainder of our bottles in true broke bitch fashion (never leave paid-for beer behind).

With that, we trek back through the door and out of the bar. We finish our night filling in Jenni with our less than savory experience with the infamous BTS fraternity last semester.

But, as I lay in bed for the night, I can’t help but wonder if Jungkook had looked for me that night after I left… Or if he told Taehyung...

taglist (message me to be added):

@catsandstrawberries​ @h5naaa​

[chrisjake-cp]

History 3 Trapped Filming Diary (full English translation) - Days 61-66 (final part)

Masterpost here.

I don’t own the book so I can’t post my scans of the pictures that came with it. So I posted some other pictures of the scenes that were being filmed. These pics belong to LINE TV or Choco Media, or I’ve taken screenshots.

Read days 61-66 (final day) under the cut. 

Day 61

In the final days before the end of shooting, we were finally scheduled to film in Zhaozi’s house. 

Zhaozi’s house basically only exists to let him and Jack be able to court each other. Every scene is just sweet and unbearably cute. In the drama, Zhaozi’s house is one that his late grandmother had left him. Mounted on the wall was a small framed picture of an older lady, and the protagonist of this picture was really Tingxuan’s [Kenny’s] living (maternal) grandma. His grandmother is already over 90 years old but she keeps in very strong health and can walk around in the park without having to use crutches. Kenny has a good relationship with his grandmother. When he took this photo out and introduced her to us, his eyes were full of happiness that we didn’t see at other times.⁕ 

An apron-wearing Jack is like the embodiment of a handsome chef coming to your house. Even if what he prepares are only super simple instant noodles, he could flirt with Zhaozi (and the hearts of many girls). 

I don’t know if Zhaozi’s grandma, looking on from the picture frame, would be satisfied with this young idol wearing her apron though. 

⁕ Kenny, why so cute? 😭

Day 62

That’s right. Today was also a whole day of kissing, hugging and rolling on the bed (I’m flustered) in Zhaozi’s house. The Sanzhi Little White House B&B has featured as the location for many famous commercials and idol dramas. The inside of the house feels warm and sweet, which is why it was selected as this drama’s setting for Zhaozi’s house. 

Zhaozi’s room is located on the second floor. Young people have good physical strength, because they had to kiss from the first floor all the way up to the second floor (if I’m not careful almost all of today’s pictures will be kissing pictures, hahahahaha), then in the room on the second floor they were rolling around in the bed and then back to the first floor to roll on the table. 

When you look at the pictures of the table scene, maybe it was cut to a short moment in the show, but the positions and the movements for this scene were rather complicated.  The two needed to first practice the chemistry between their positions and the camera, and many different camera angles as well as bloopers happened during filming. The two of them lingered at the table half the night, their rolling around started from dinner and went on until they had a midnight snack. We really can’t but admire the two’s good core strength. 

Day 63

Actually, the fighting scenes in the car and after they get out of the car after Tang Yi and Shaofei are being seized were filmed on different days. Therefore, what was filmed today was after Shaofei pulled the handbrake (right, I use this as the dividing point [between the scenes]) and the two of them rushed up the mountain. The weather that day was really cold, so it was also a test for the crew to go shooting in the mountains. 

That same day we also shot the plotline of how Shaofei fantasizes about how to get off the mountain. The crew used branches to make a scarecrow for Tang Yi and Shaofei to hang their clothes on. But during the filming process the art team made a total of three scarecrows. When asked about it, it was not because they wanted to have a back-up prop, but because one of them was snatched away by a dog from the mountains to use as a toy.

The art crew went: “Doggie, you bastard, come back here” (in Shaofei’s elevator voice)⁕ 

⁕  When Shaofei was cuffed to the handrail and Tang Yi stepped out of the elevator, Shaofei said almost the same thing to Tang Yi. (”Tang Yi, you bastard, get back here.”)

Day 64

It’s two days before the end of shooting, and I already can’t think anymore about how many times these two have kissed. And today was another whole day of kissing. I’m not exaggerating. Early in the morning we filmed that Shaofei grabbed Tang Yi’s hands when they got to the courthouse. When Director Qingrong arranged the scene, she figured that the plot allowed for them to kiss again, so a kissing scene was added on the spot. 

In the afternoon we switched sets and went to the balcony at the hospital. On the balcony Shaofei confessed his feelings and also stealthily kissed [Tang Yi]. How could someone confess like that and kiss straight after? Our boss Tang hadn’t even responded [to the confession] yet! Counting on my fingers, one camera angle takes 8 takes on average, and for one scene we would approximately change angles four or five times. So for all the scenes from morning until in the afternoon, they at least kissed 70 times, and that’s only today. ⁕ 

⁕ Listen, I need to see aaaaaaaallllll the taaaaaaaaakes.   

Day 65

Tang Yi and Shaofei have finished filming! 

They spent 68 days of wind, sun and rain together, they went through being chased by men in black and hit by bullets, together they spent [a night] in an abandoned cabin on fire, the two went from being strangers at the acting and martial arts classes to gradually developing a deep connection with each other and hand in hand, they overcame all kinds of difficulties. 

Different from the other “HIStory” series we have made before, <Trapped> was the first story to break free of having a school campus as its setting. The plot was much more complicated and the actors were faced with more and bigger challenges. Regardless of whether it were psychological challenges concerning their acting, or psychical challenges of being involved in numerous fights and constantly sustaining injuries, it was all very tough on them. The last day of filming, with good weather, was also spent in a fight. They fought 8 hours straight, from 9am in the morning until the sun set in the mountains, which was a major test of physical strength. The sun shone brightly, there were high temperatures and the rays of the sun dazzled the eyes. Tang Yi fought bravely in a suit and leather shoes, and Shaofei’s left eye was hit during the fighting process. He immediately returned to a state of readiness for war after a quick break to apply some ice to it. Thank you, all actors, for your dedication and the beauty of each frame that you presented, and thank you to the crew members behind the scenes for their hard work. You can leave the rest up to us now. 

Boss Tang was finished with shooting a little earlier than Shaofei, because in the evening, Unit 3 continued their scenes in the restaurant. Unexpectedly a group of people arrived earlier at the restaurant and waited for our arrival. It turned out to be our senior colleagues from <Crossing The Line>, Yanze (Zach Lu) and Menglin (Nick Yang) who were visiting the set. When they saw their younger ‘brothers’ working hard to film this show, and them being riddled with scars from filming, the original mood of being there to supervise softened. Senior Zach patted junior Jake on the shoulder, saying, “Seeing you taking this so seriously, I can pass the baton to you guys with an assured mind.”

Day 66

On the last day of shooting, the crew was divided into two groups to carry out the work. One group was responsible for returning to the international conference office and for going up the mountains to shoot some more final material to fill up some gaps; the other group in turn stayed behind at Zhaozi’s house to shoot scenes for the final episode, namely the fight and bed scenes after Jack took Zhaozi home on his motorbike (or should I say ‘transported’ home?). The evening’s bed scene called for Jack to do a lot of push-ups. Each time after “Action” was yelled, Jack huffed out sounds like “Ah” and “Huh” while doing his push-ups, which rendered the crew at the scene unable to stop laughing. After shooting the ‘official’ scenes, to increase the sound effects from under the covers, the two actors were asked specifically to use the blanket to create some more needed sounds for the show. After confirming that the sounds were okay, Director Qingrong yelled “We can pack up! <Trapped> has finally finished shooting.” Because there were other houses in the neighbourhood of Jack’s house and it was night time, everyone cheered a little bit but immediately said “shhhhhh”, reminding each other to be quiet. 

To be frank, practicing how to say goodbye is definitely not a simple thing. When you continue doing the same thing for 21 days, it would slowly become a habit. But with <Trapped>, from when shooting started until we finished filming, we went through 66 work days together. We were used to getting along with everyone, we were used to getting up early and eating breakfast together, or eating a snack in the middle of the night. Meeting with this whole team every day had become a kind of habit. In these 66 days, we experienced Yilan in 10 degrees and 30 degrees, we climbed mountains together and jumped into swimming pools together, we may have accidentally slipped on the mountain and gotten injured, we were shot at by airsoft guns (BB guns), and the thick smoke in the abandoned cabin made our nostrils turn black. All of that will become memories now. Finishing shooting [a show] is like the feeling of attending a graduation ceremony when you are a kid: you look forward to it, but the closer to the day it gets, the more you feel like you don’t want it to end. We hope that everyone who reads this diary will feel the warmth brough by the crew of <Trapped> and we also hope that these memories that left a deep impression, will forever remain in everyone’s hearts.

[bffsoobin]

Iced Chai

↳ you had a small obsession with drinking iced chai lattes between class, and it just so happened that the coffee store on campus had the best ones. when a new barista replaces the one who used to make your drink, you put him to the test. he makes the most wonderful iced chai you’d ever had. he’s also one of the most handsome boys you ever seen on campus.

➤ fluff, college!au, shy barista!hueningkai

Word Count:3,830

A/N: yes, this fic is very much influenced by my massive love for iced chai lattes and the way I consumed them up until March when we had to leave campus. Sadly I didn’t have any cute boys serving me :(. Anywho, I hope you enjoy it! Please keep in mind that I haven’t proofread, so there may be some small mistakes!

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:••:•.•

Calculus was a pain in the ass. Obviously, you knew this well before you scheduled for your freshmen year of college, but there was no way to avoid the reality handed to you by your major. So every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning at 8 am you endured the rambling lectures of your less than spry professor who could barely work his desktop computer. You tried your best to pay attention, you really did, but there was only so much you could do when the conversation shifted from tangent lines to the best way to reheat fast food french fries.

As you doodled in the margins of your lined notebook, your mind wandered to the only good thing sitting through this class does for you. Other than the credits. As soon as the clock struck 9am, you had a date with the on campus café. The roughly hour break between the end of calculus and the beginning of chemistry gave you the perfect window to enjoy some alone time. Homey, student run and always playing some version of a coffee shop playlist; the place was your haven on campus. Not only did you love the atmosphere and the fact that it was the best place on campus to study, but they also serve the best iced chai latte you’d ever encountered. The thought of the drink alone made your mouth salivate. From your first hesitant order, you had become hooked. Within your first week on campus, you had easily drank 10 cups of the chilled goodness before your roommate expressed concern for the sheer amount of sugar and dairy you’d been consuming. 

Due to the timing of your tri-weekly trips, you had always been served by the same lovely barista, Rachael. She was stylish, down to earth and always told you a good joke when you showed up looking especially out of it. Most importantly, something about the way she mixed the drink convinced you that she surely was sent from the heavens.

When your graying professor finally let your class go for the day, you walked on clouds to your favorite spot on campus. It had rained during class so the air was chilled and the ground was still damp. The telltale scent of rain invaded your senses and a chill ran through you. Most people would be craving a hot coffee or steaming cup of tea- but all you desired was the smooth flavor of your favorite drink. The walk to your beloved café wasn’t long, but you always found yourself in a bit of a rush to get there as soon as you possibly could. In a moment of carelessness, you stepped right into a rather large puddle and soaked one of your feet right through your shoes and your sock. Disgusting you thought as you finally arrived at the door. The handle was slick with moisture thanks to the weather, but you wiped your hand onto your sweatshirt as you stepped inside and let the familiar scent of coffee grounds occupy your mind. Your shoulders relaxed simply at the relaxed atmosphere.

A few students who also frequented around this time were sitting at their usual tables, and you waved at them politely before taking yourself- and your squelching shoe- over to the small booth you’d come to know and love. You ditched your bookbag on the table with a thud, feeling secure with the knowledge of your agreement with the girl who sat at the table next to you to keep an eye on your things. 

As you headed toward the counter, you belatedly noticed that the line seemed a bit more backed up than usual. It wasn’t too big of a concern, as your college was relatively small and waiting an extra five minutes would by no means ruin your timing. It was just curious. Usually Rachael ran the counter with the ease of an experienced sailor, but that ease seemed to be missing today. Nevertheless, the line inched forward steadily. Engrossed in your phone, you hadn’t noticed the glaring difference in your routine until you got to the cash register. While placing your plastic ID card over the scanner, you chirped “just my usual, Rachael!” 

Despite what your mind told you would happen next- she would laugh, say okay, maybe ask about class while handing over a receipt- you were met with an awkward stutter that your trusty barista certainly didn’t make. 

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know your usual,” upon finally looking up, your brain processed the sight of a new boy. A new gorgeous boy. Did they only hire beautiful people here? His black hair was falling into his eyes, charmingly shaggy and exposing just enough of his forehead to make you oddly wish you could see more. His cheeks were dusted in a light pink blush that both charmed you and made you feel bad at the same time. He seemed so fresh. Upon further inspection, you caught his handmade name tag written in slightly shaky handwriting that was so cutely boyish. Hueningkai. He had decorated one corner with a smiley face and the other with a drawing of a coffee bean that looked suspiciously like nothing more than a dark brown blob with a small accent line down the middle. 

“I’m sorry, Hueningkai,” you didn’t miss the way his eyes widened slightly at the use of his name, “usually Rachael is here to take my order. But I’ll take a large iced chai latte, please.” He nodded quickly, reverting his eyes to the LED screen which his eyes bounced around for a few seconds before he finally found the correct button. This must have been why the line seemed abnormally long. As the sound of your receipt printing filled the silence, you asked; “first day?” 

A melodious laugh fell from his lips, causing a scrunch of his perfectly pointed nose that you felt honored to have seen as he stepped away from the register to start making your drink. “That obvious, huh?” Another worker came to take his spot and serve the next student but you followed Hueningkai to his new destination. For as shy as he was at the cash register, he moved with much more confidence when it came to actually making drinks. His earlier hesitation was totally gone as he got to work mixing up your drink. In his new position, you could get a better look at his hands, adorned in simple silver jewelry that embarrassingly made your breath catch in your throat. His actions were over almost as quickly as they began, and his earlier hesitation seemed to return as he slid the drink to you over the granite counter top. You grasped at it eagerly in the same moment he reached to balance a straw on top of the lid. 

For a brief moment your fingers lingered and your mind went wild at the absurdity that you honestly felt sparks pass between the two of you. 

“Oh, uh, sorry,” he mumbled, dipping his head down awkwardly as he finally tore his hand away. You smiled back earnestly, hoping to make him understand that you weren’t bothered at all by the contact. 

Back at the safety of your table, you took a second to collect yourself. Surely you were overreacting to the small interaction. After all, you were already having a pretty weird day. Looking down at your clear cup, you remembered the beginning of your dilemma- the absence of amazing barista Rachael. Hueningkai was adorable, but could his skills hold up to the woman who made drinks you literally dreamed about? Tentatively, you took a sip of the drink and immediately cocked your head to the side. On the off chance your taste buds had totally deceived you, you took another long swig from the cup. 

Hueningkai’s drink was even better than Rachael’s.

——

The next morning, you awoke before your alarm even started to beep. Thursdays meant no class until 1 o’clock, so you had almost all the time in the world to catch up on assignments and homework and do your errands. Instead of doing anything constructive, you found yourself craving yet another iced chai latte. As you voiced this desire to your roommate, she looked at you as if you’d just admitted to the murder of 4 people.

“Are you insane? Do you not remember how miserable you felt after drinking two a day? I can’t let you do that again. You can go to the café but at least drink something different!” You knew that she was right, but something inside of you- that shitty little perpetual teenage boy who hides in a corner of your mind- told you to do the exact opposite of what she said.

“I’m sorry,” you shuffled through the shirts hanging in your closet, the sound of the plastic hangers clicking together resonating in the otherwise quiet room. “But you have to go to class so there’s no way you can police me. Plus,” you pulled a shirt out of your closet and slid over to your cheap full length mirror to inspect yourself. “You didn’t see Hueningkai. He is...” your cheeks flushed as your roommate began to let out a high pitched squeal. “Shhh! The walls are thin!”

“Oh don’t act so scandalized. I guess it makes sense that you’d have a crush on the boy who feeds your addiction.” You rolled your eyes at her, lobbing a pair of rolled up socks in her direction in retaliation. They hit her side softly before bouncing to the floor dejectedly. “You,” she pointed a finger your way as you rooted through your drawer for a pair of jeans, “are ridiculous. Have fun with your dreamy boy while I’m at class.”

Despite the familiarity of the path to the café, you still felt a bit out of place making the trip on a Thursday. Even the other students passing you by felt wrong in a way you couldn’t quite place. There was also the lingering worry that Hueningkai wasn’t even working today, and you’d show up to the small building just for a dose of disappointment. In you worried haze, you had barely noticed you arrived until the door was pushed open from the inside and a small pack of students held the door aside for you.

Inside of the building, a blanket of warm air surrounded your form and the faint smell of cinnamon drifted easily through the air. You were instantly calmed by the scent until someone bumped into your shoulder. With wide eyes, you looked around to see about double the amount of people your usual visits yielded. You were in no way prepared for the absolute mass of bodies that filtered between the tables and comfortable sitting areas. 

Feeling a bit lost, you put yourself into the line of waiting students and tried your best to peer over heads and around bodies to see if you could catch a glimpse of the barista that had captivated you so easily. It didn’t look like he was making drinks, but you held out hope that he was manning the register that was blocked from your sight. After what felt like forever, you reached the register and came face to face with...not Hueningkai. Despite your disappointment, there was no way you would turn down a drink, even made by a non-Hueningkai. 

Once you had the chilled cup cradled in your hands, you took a hopeless look around at the full dining room. Almost every table looked to be occupied, and some students had even resorted to leaning against the walls to chat and sip their drinks. The back of your neck began to heat up as you wandered around hoping for anyone to decide they were done and get up to leave. You had almost given up and decided to just go back to your dorm and lick your metaphorical wounds when a voice called your name. It only took a second of looking around to lock eyes with the one who was calling for you. 

Hueningkai. He had a light blush filling his cheeks as he waved a hand noncommittally your way. He looked ethereal sitting at the table, hot cup of something steaming next to his sticker covered laptop. His eyes were wide and adorably eager; akin to the look of a puppy who had just seen their owner after a long day. Your feet were working before your brain, so when you arrived to the table you had to scramble for an opener. 

“Hey! I was looking for you!” you winced. Way to go, Y/N. Out yourself on the second meeting. “I mean, uh,” you felt the cup in your hand start to slip with the sweat your palms produced, “I was hoping you’d make my drink again.” 

A smile spread like wildfire on Hueningkai’s face and his eyes crinkled adorably in the corners.

“You liked it that much?” His voice was meek, oddly shy for the way he beamed up at you with so much ease. 

“Yeah! It was really good. Even better than Rachael’s, to be honest.”

“Really? She was the best barista here!” He brought a hand up to his mouth in shock. 

“Yeah, really! Anyway, I can get going if you...you look busy,” you gestured toward his open laptop and drink that you were sure was rapidly cooling the longer you distracted him. 

“No!” he blurted the word before visibly flinching at his actions. At least it wasn’t just you feeling like a fumbling idiot. “I called you over cause it looked like you needed a seat? And if you want to sit with me, you can. I’m just working on a presentation and you won’t distract me, I promise.” There was no way you could deny the eagerness lacing his voice, so you pulled the chair opposite him across the floor and settled in. 

----

“That sounds like a date. A hangout at the very least,” your roommate asserted as she typed some code into her computer. 

“It was not a date!” You whined, glaring up at your ceiling from your spot on your twin XL. “He just saw me looking for a place to sit and offered.” She scoffed. 

“Yeah, and then he proceeded to ignore his homework to talk to you. And then he asked if you were coming back to the cafe tomorrow. And then he-” 

“Okay, I get it! But what am I supposed to do? Ask him out?” A bubble of nerves was resting heavily in your stomach at the thought. As much as you liked him, who were you to think that he wasn’t just being kind? When you voiced this concern to your roommate, she tossed her computer to the side and strode over to your bed to not-so-gently pull you out of it. Without an idea of what she was doing, you stood dumbly until she put on her slippers and drug you out of your room. 

“What are you doing? I didn’t even put my slippers on!” Your sock covered feet slid across the tile of the hallway as your roommate finally hauled you into the common room of your floor, where a few small groups had gathered to do various activities. 

“Hi everyone! My lovely roommate Y/N and I have a question for you. Do any of you know Hueningkai? He works at the cafe, really tall, music major?” A few people nodded in confusion, surely wondering why the hell one of the polite tenants of room 112 was conducting some kind of survey in the lounge. 

“Great. Has he ever shown interest in any of you? Asked you to sit with him in the cafe? Spent about an hour inquiring about your life instead of quietly working? Gave you his number?” Everyone who had previously nodded stood still, not moving an inch as they whispered between each other. “Okay, that’s all!” Your roommate left with no further elaboration as you called out a weak apology to everyone. Back in the safety of your room, you stared at her, scandalized. 

“What was that?” 

“That, my dear Y/N, was proof. He likes you!”

----

A nervousness you hadn’t felt since move in day was crawling through your body the closer the clock ticked to 9 am. Theoretically, you could just skip going to get a drink today, and therefore avoid the source of your nerves; but you knew that Hueningkai was expecting you to show. He had even sent you an eager text this morning with a series of heart wrenchingly adorable emojis. There was no way you could avoid him after that. 

Late fall weather had surely settled in today and you felt the chill settle into your bones as soon as you stepped out of the math building. For a few seconds, you stopped to watch a rough breeze rustle browning leaves across the concrete paths of campus before simply digging your hands further into your pockets. You had to power your way through this. Worse case scenario, he says no and you can never show your face on campus again. Simple. 

The door felt especially heavy under your hands as you hauled it open. The much more familiar, sparsely populated shop greeted you but only ratcheted up your nerves. With less people milling around, there was no way to delay your conversation with Hueningkai. As soon as you began to approach the counter, you could see him stumble over to the register before the other working student could even attempt to. He tried to casually lean his elbow onto the half wall to his left, but he miscalculated and ended up shyly tucking his hands into the front pocket of his apron. 

“Hi,” you swallowed the lump in your throat and hoped that he hadn’t notice the shake in your voice. The familiar beep of the card reader interrupted your worries momentarily as you heard the boy in front of you exhale a greeting. 

“Your usual?” He inquired as if he hadn’t already seen you with the drink two days in a row. Not trusting your voice, you simply nodded and waited for him to punch the order into the screen. His hand hesitated as he glanced up at you again. “You’re the only person I know still ordering cold drinks in this weather,” a teasing smile had blossomed on his pink lips and your heart jumped at the sight. 

“Well, I guess I’m just a bit stuck in my ways,” you followed him, as always, to the other side of the counter where orders were placed when finished. 

“I like that,” he commented as he grabbed a cup, “it makes my job a whole lot easier,” your eyes locked onto his hands out of instinct. Yesterday you had noticed the addition of a thin silver chain around his wrist, and you would be lying if you hadn’t spent a few minutes admiring the delicate chain contrasted against the strength of his hands. A pour of ice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you caught the back half of a question from him. 

“What’d you say?” You felt as if lava was bubbling right under the surface of your skin as you reeled in embarrassment. You couldn’t believe that you’d let yourself miss a chunk of conversation for something so stupid. 

“Oh,” he seemed equally embarrassed that you hadn’t heard him, and it hurt your heart a little to see the way his eyes shook. “I just wanted to know if you had a good night yesterday. I mean because you-you told me when we hung out that you had a lot of reading to do, and I wasn’t sure if you got it all done. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with readings that I don’t do any of them, and Taehyun yells at me for that but I just can’t seem to stop doing it.” He was rambling, and you both knew it, but you let him continue as he shyly looked away in order to pour your drink over the ice. 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I had an okay night. My roommate was a bit much, but I love her, so it was okay.” His eyebrow quirked softly at the mention of your roommate, but he seemed afraid to broach the subject just yet. He gave your drink a good swirl after sealing on the lid and slid it over the smooth counter to your waiting hand. Unlike the first time you had met, you had already grabbed a straw from the small display and plunged it into the drink. 

Although you should have walked away, something kept you rooted to the spot, Hueningkai seemed to be under the same kind of spell as he looked over his shoulder to see that no one else had lined up to be served quite yet. 

“Hey, I was wonderi-”

“This might be weird-”

Your sentences clashed in the air as you spoke at the exact same time. Your mouth hung open like a fish out of water and Hueningkai waved his hands around wildly in your direction. “Go ahead!” He enthused, looking as if he was going to melt into the floor as a side effect of interrupting you. 

“No, I mean, you can say your thing first, if you- if you want,” you offered weakly. 

“No, it’s okay, you definitely spoke first. G-go ahead,” he nodded rapidly in order to convince you further. You raised your eyebrows in a silent question of ‘are you sure?’, to which he nodded again. 

“Okay, I was wondering if you’d like to, uhm, go out sometime? On a date?” The words felt like weights rolling off of your tongue. Hueningkai blinked once, twice, a third time before he broke into a peal of laughter. A sudden wash of panic, as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over your head, filled your senses. This was it. You would have to transfer schools and change your hair color to get rid of this incident. Goodbye, life you had come to know and love. 

Hueningkai must have recognized your panic as he took a harsh breath and surged forward to reach for your arm. 

“Wait! I wasn’t laughing at you! It’s just that I was, um, also going to ask you out.” This time, a laugh bubbled up in your throat at the confession. 

“You’re right. That is pretty hilarious.” You admitted, feeling the tension around you totally dissipate. 

“Well, I think this bodes well for us. We’ve only known each other for a few days and we already have telepathy. My roommate will be so jealous. He’s been trying to meld our minds for weeks.” His personality was beginning to peak through when he spoke about his friends, you noticed. It was charming. He was charming. Not to mention, he still made the best damn iced chai latte you’d ever had. 

[lovely-ateez]

Teach Me~

ꕥPosted: 9/1/20

ꕥGenre: Smut, Fluff

ꕥPairing: Yeosang x Fem!Reader

ꕥWord Count: ~1.7k

ꕥWarnings: Fingering, Praising (f receiving), Protected sex, Oral (f receiving)

ꕥA/N: The next post I’m making is Pt. 2 for Ice Cream! Hope you enjoy this one as well as the next :))

“Damn skater boys and their skills. Why can’t I skateboard?” I whined, lazily flopping myself on the library table.

The university I attended allowed bikes and skateboards on campus, so it was common to see people riding either on their way to class. Skateboards were far more convenient, though, and if I knew how to skateboard I’d be riding along with them.

My friend Varsha rolled her eyes at me, “Ask one of them to teach you if you’re so eager, then.” She took a sip of her mocha frappuccino.

“Noooo they look so intimidating. I’d make a fool of myself anyways.”

“Then stop complaining, you big baby. Listen I’ve got class in 10 minutes so I’ll see you later, yeah?”

She walked away as I waved goodbye at her and I felt myself still pouting.

A deep voice startled me, “I don’t think I’m that intimidating, personally.”

Jumping, I faced the owner of the voice. A Greek god appeared before my eyes, his blond locks flowing slightly past his neck. If he didn’t just confirm that he was a skater, his clothes sure would have. His pink beanie looked like it was falling off his head, and his loose shirt and ripped jeans hid his frame, but I just knew he had abs.

The man saw me checking him out and raised a brow. “You’re cute. Meet me in parking lot A at five today. I’ll teach you how to skate.”

He walked away before I had the chance to refuse or even get his name. Well shit. What have I gotten myself into?

-

My final class of the day let out at noon, giving me plenty of time to mull over what I was going to do about the man’s proposal. On one hand, I have no clue who he is or why he would want to help me. He’s a stranger. I literally didn’t even know his name. Yet, on the other hand, he was a terribly handsome man who was willing to teach me how to skate, and I was dying to learn.

I drove back to the on-campus apartments, waiting for Varsha to arrive. I needed a second opinion and as my roommate and a good friend, she was always there to help me.

While I was waiting I decided to change into clothes that would be easy to skate in. You know, just in case. I realized I didn’t have too many exercise clothes to choose from, so I just slipped on a pair of jean shorts and a plain white tank top. It was hot outside so threw my hair in a ponytail.

As I was tying my hair up, I heard Varsha come barging in. “What’s up, fuckers?”

Varsha waltzed into our shared room and began to remove a few books from her backpack.

“Okay first of all, rude. Second, Sinoo and Trixie aren’t here, so it’s singular; fucker.”

Sinoo and Trixie were our dormmates and they shared a separate a room together. We were all about the same age, all sophomores, and shared similar interests so we bonded pretty quickly.

Sinoo was a transfer student from Korea and was just about the kindest soul you’d ever meet. Her English was so good that we swore it was her native language, which she vehemently denied. Sinoo was a music major and had the voice of a literal angel. She would sing almost 24/7 but no one minded because of her voice. Her positive energy was contagious, and she always made us smile.

Trixie was the embodiment of a stereotypical girly-girl. She had long, blonde hair and always wore fashionable clothes. It was strange to have a weekend where she wasn’t begging us to go shopping with her. Like Sinoo, she had a kind heart. She could come across as brash sometimes, but was an incredibly loyal person. Trixie changed her major about four different times, finally settling on majoring in fashion design, although I wouldn’t be surprised if she changed it again.

And Varsha was a true chaotic neutral if I’ve ever met one. Her antics could be slightly unpredictable, but she always knew how to make someone smile. A day wouldn’t go by without her mentioning her adorable white poodle at home and how much she missed him. She was a comfort to have around and the apartment always felt empty without her. Varsha was undecided on her major but knowing her, she’d be able to do anything well.

“So I need advice.”

Varsha gave me a curious look. “About what?”

I explained my situation to her and she laughed. “Go with him, duh.”

“What if he like kidnaps me or something?”

“Okay first of all, I know where you’re at and what time you’ll be there. If you’re not back in two hours I’ll call campus security, okay?”

I nodded, embarrassingly not needing anymore convincing.

-

I arrived three minutes early. The parking lot was surprisingly empty, but since it was a Friday, I wasn’t too surprised. Most students went home for the weekend anyway.

Not knowing what to to, I pulled out my phone to mindlessly scroll through social media. I glanced up when I heard footsteps approaching.

“Didn’t think you’d come, to be honest. Glad you did.” The man grinned, “You ready for your first lesson?”

“I suppose so.” I paused, “What’s your name?”

The question must’ve caught him off guard, given the confused expression on his face.

“Oh yeah.” He laughed, “I’m Yeosang.”

I reached out to shake his hand, introducing myself as well. Yeosang motioned to his skateboard, setting it down.

“Alright. What’s the first rule of skateboarding?”

“Uhh...don’t break your skull?”

Yeosang laughed, nodding. “Well, I suppose that’s a good objective, but no. Balance is key. How good is your balance?”

“Mediocre at best.”

Yeosang tried his best to suppress a smile but failed terribly. I wasn’t sure why he tried to hide it. Every bit of him was so alluring.

“Alright then. I’ll hold you so you don’t fall. Now step up on the board just like this.” He demonstrated the action as he spoke, maintaining perfect balance.

I whined as I watched him. “There’s no way in hell I can do that, Yeosang.”

“Not with that attitude, you can’t.”

He led me to the board and I hopped on, doing my best to stabilize myself. I didn’t notice how his hands were gripping my hips or how close his face was to mine...at first. But when I did, my face instantly flushed.

With a raised brow, the man leaned even closer, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were blushing. I wonder what for? Could it be me?” The growl in his voice sent a shock straight to my core.

I forced myself to stable my breathing, “No. Get over yourself.”

“Feisty. I like it.”

-

We practiced for about an hour and a half but all I was able to accomplish was standing upright on the board.

“We’ve been practicing for quite awhile. Would you want to get a drink? It’s really hot.” Yeosang looked at me with genuine concern.

“Honestly, that would be fantastic.”

“My apartment isn’t too far from here. I can take you there and I can get you whatever.”

Normally, I wouldn’t have agreed in such a situation, but somehow I felt pulled to him. Like I couldn’t say no. And so, I agreed.

Yeosang picked up his skateboard and began to walk, leading me in an unfamiliar direction.

“So which apartment do you live in, Yeosang?”

“I live in Stockdale. Kinda sucks that it’s so far away from campus but it’s close to the lake so at least it has a pretty view.”

I nodded, “Ah I live in Callahan.”

“Oh yeah I lived in that apartment last year.”

I followed Yeosang up to the second floor of Stockdale and watched as he unlocked the door. All apartments had the same basic layout so the room essentially looked the same as mine, except for the position of the furniture and electronics scattered about the floor.

I sat down on the couch in his living room as Yeosang disappeared into his kitchen. I looked at the ugly, blue patched cushions that were placed on his couch. If they were unique to his apartment I would have teased him about it, but unfortunately the entire university decided that the pattern was ideal for all couches across campus.

A deep voice grabbed my attention. “Red punch okay?”

“Yeah that’s fine. Honestly anything is okay at this point.” I laughed. He passed me a cup filled with the red liquid and I took a sip.

“Thanks, by the way. For both teaching me and the drink.”

Yeosang smiled. “Not a problem. If you wanna get good though, you’ve gotta practice more. We should meet again.”

I smiled. “I’d like that...Oh shit-“ I quickly grabbed my phone from my pocket, remembering to text Varsha.

Noticing Yeosang’s confused look, I clarified. “I told my roommate if I didn’t call within two hours or so to call security.”

I felt embarrassed as I said it aloud but Yeosang let out a hearty laugh. “Did you think I was going to rob you or something?”

“Hey! I didn’t know!” I pouted, still slightly embarrassed.

“I mean fair enough. You didn’t even know my name...I guess someone was desperate to learn how to skate.”

“Shut up.” As I was trying to place my phone back into my pocket I spilled some punch on my shirt.

“Aww. I don’t wanna clean that up.” I whined.

Yeosang chuckled. “Lick it off, then.”

I felt a surge of confidence. “Why don’t you?”

The joking, carefree air around us had somehow shifted. The atmosphere felt tense. I was teasing at first but, I began to realize that I wanted him to do it.

He ran his tongue over his lips and my head clouded with thoughts of how his lips would feel running along the inside of my thighs, teasing me until I pleaded him to reach just slightly above.

The darkness in his gaze made me want to beg him to kiss me, to touch me, to give me anything. I tried to remember to keep my composure but it wasn’t working too well.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait too long before he pulled me close, locking his lips with mine. I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

Biting my bottom lip, Yeosang slowly pulled back. “I think you need to changed out of this t-shirt, what do you say?”

I knew his words meant more than than what they appeared on the surface, especially given the look in his eyes.

I leaned in close to Yeosang’s ear, “I think I need you to help me.”

My words seemed to be the breaking point for him. His lips clashed back onto mine and before I knew it, he was setting me down on his bed.

Yeosang pinned my hands above my head and gently began kissing my neck. I closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling.

One of Yeosang’s hands grazed my clit through my shorts and I gasped. Yeosang smirked at me and slid down my shorts. When they were fully off he dipped a few of his fingers into my panties to tease me. I wiggled around, begging him to give me more.

“What a needy girl you are.” The man’s eyes were glazed over, lust controlling his every move.

I whimpered, “Please, Yeosang.”

“Only because you said please.”

He released my hands and slid his own down to my waist. Spreading my legs further apart, he bit the hem of my panties and slowly pulled them off of me with his teeth.

“Fuck, you look hot.” He told me as he threw my soaking panties across the room.

If I had the ability to form sentences, I would have told him the same, but I was so overwhelmed with the current situation that I simply couldn’t.

Yeosang lifted my legs over his shoulders and held my hips down in place. I felt his tongue gloss over my clit, making my back arch off the bed. He proceeded to kiss the inside of my thighs, slowly making his way up to where I wanted him. After what felt like forever, he began to slowly eat me out. I didn’t expect him to be as good as he was and all I could do was moan. I couldn’t be more thankful that none of his roommates where there.

“Shit. Yeosang I...I’m close. Please.”

I knew he heard me, but he didn’t acknowledge me outright. His steady pace continued, finally permitting my release. He reached up to kiss me, making me taste myself.

“Do you want to go further?”

His eyes were kind and showed concern, not trying to influence me in one way or the other.

“Yes.” I breathed out.

He once again tried to hide his smile, as if he was trying not to appear too eager. The man grabbed a condom out of his bedstand and quickly discarded the rest of his clothes. I, doing the same.

“Ready, darling?” Yeosang asked as he was slipping on the condom.

“Definitely,” I breathed out.

At a slow pace he entered me, stretching my walls and making me cry out at the pleasure.

“Such a good girl. Taking me so well. You’re so beautiful, you know that?” I felt tears prick at my eyes during his praises and I realized I didn’t want him to stop.

“Please don’t stop that.”

“Awe baby girl likes being praised? Well let me tell you, you’re doing a wonderful—fuck.” A deep growl left his throat as I unconsciously began to clench around him.

“You’re making me feel so good, sweetheart. What a good girl you are for me.”

His right hand wandered up to play with my nipples, gently fondling them. The euphoric feeling spurred on my rapidly approaching orgasm.

“Yeosang I’m gonna...c-cum again. Please.”

His thrusts gradually sped up as my hands grasped his biceps, nails digging into his skin.

Leaning towards my ear, he whispered, “Cum for me, darling.”

After a few more thrusts, I came hard, a mantra of his name falling from my lips.

“Just hold on a little longer, darling. I’m almost there.” The overstimulation wasn’t as bad as I thought it might’ve been, but it was entirely possible that Yeosang’s heavenly, fucked out expression compensated for it. Panting heavily, Yeosang soon reached his high and stilled. He gently pulled out and placed a kiss on my forehead.

“You’re really good at that, you know? Are you this sweet with all the girls?” I joked.

He gave me a slightly confused expression before his face returned to a more serious one.

“I haven’t done this in a long time. Like probably over a year at this point.” He scratched the back of his head, eyes darting anywhere but me. “Actually, I didn’t even mean for this to happen, believe it or not...You know I saw you on campus a few times and thought you were really cute. I’m glad I got the chance to approach you.” He watched me with calming eyes as I blushed.

“So...what now?” I asked, sheepishly.

His shy smile—which I think had become my favorite of his smiles—made an appearance.

“It’s probably silly, given what we just did, but I’d like to take you on a date. Or at least meet up to study or something...point is I’d like to see you again.” He held eye contact with me.

“I’d enjoy that. Plus, I could use a pro to teach me how to ride a skateboard.”

Yeosang rolled his eyes, a dazzling smile painting his face, “Oh whatever. I’m not that good.”

The butterflies I felt in my stomach were so unique to him. I didn’t want to admit how excited I was to see him again, but I was. And in that moment, all I could think about was how glad I was that he offered to teach me.

[imagineyourself]

Teacher’s Pet- A Spencer Reid Imagine

Spencer Reid x fem! psych major! reader 

A/n: Hi guys, I’ve watched 9 seasons of criminal minds in 2 weeks, so expect a lot of criminal minds stuff coming! Also, kind of want to write a part 2 to this so lmk if you would like that! 

Gif is not mine creds to @toyboxboy​

Warnings: violence, swearing, mentions of blood and knives

Word count: 2.6k

“The unsub is likely in a position of power, well respected, maybe even admired. He works with young people, probably a teacher or professor. We need to find him, and fast before he kills another young girl.” Rossi spoke to the room of officers. The room disperses to begin searching for the killer, 4 girls are already dead. 

“Rossi, I think I found the connection between the girls.” Dr. Spencer Reid turning away from the board with the bodies taped to it and a file in his hand. “They all shared a professor.”

“They all went to different schools, different majors.” Morgan interjects.

“He is a professor at multiple universities, and they’ve all taken a psych class at some point, mostly introductory level. He must have connected with them during that time.” Reid continues.

“Who is it, dammit, Reid?” Hotch said.

“A Professor Deslaurier, professor of psychology, which explains why he was hard to find. He’s one of us. But better than that, I think I know who his next target is.” 

*campus cafe around the same time* 

“I’m not saying that I’m ready to start dating again, but I would love to see what that barista’s got going on.” My best friend said grabbing her coffee from the counter, winking at the barista drying mugs. 

“Oh my god, keep it in your pants, you and Garrett just broke up. Like 2 days ago. You were devastated, remember?” I remind her, gently shoving her with my elbow as we sat at a table by the window.

“His name was Garrett so clearly he isn’t that hard to get over. But anyway what’s up with you relationship wise, any new people?” She presses her lips to her coffee cup, as I pull out my laptop from my bag.

“You and I both know nothing is happening in that department. School and work is taking up all my time, and I can’t help but ruin dates with my charming personality.” I pull up my latest essay for my criminal psychology class, only 5 words on the page: my name, the date, and the class.

“Stop going all psych major on people when you’re on a first date or you’ll be alone forever.” She rolls her eyes at me as she glances out the window. Her eyes squinting in concentration, so I follow her gaze seeing a group of people in FBI uniforms talking to campus security. 

“What the hell?” I say watching one of them glance around and look at the campus cafe and nod his head in its direction. The agent made his way over to the shop and steps in looking around, scanning like he was looking for someone. Then his eyes land on me. 

He rushes over to the table, but his face and voice remain calm despite the urgency in his walk. “Are you Y/F/N Y/L/N?” 

“Yes, I am. What’s going on?” I look between the man and Y/B/F/N.

“I’m Dr. Spencer Reid, FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, and I’m going to need you to come with me.” He flashes his badge as fear washes over my face. “You’re not in trouble, don’t worry.” He smiles as I pack up my stuff, my essay still not begun. 

I say goodbye to my friend, and leave with the mysterious Doctor. “So what’s going on and why do you need me? Or better yet where are we going?”

“Good question, do you have an apartment or dorm of some sort where we can go for a while?”

“Yea I have an off campus apartment just up the road. We can spend some time there, but why? Am I like in danger or something?” 

“We have reason to believe you’re the killers next target.” He keeps me close as I guide him to my apartment. These are not the circumstances with which I would prefer to have this beautiful doctor be coming with me to my apartment, but it just be like that sometimes. 

“Who would want to kill me? Why?” I ask as I approach my apartment door, unlocking it to allow us inside. “And what am I supposed to do to stop it?” 

“That’s why I’m here, to protect you in case he comes to harm you, and it’s Professor Deslaurier who is attacking his brightest female students.” 

“Hank wouldn’t do that. He was so kind,” I pause thinking about everything I’ve learned in my classes, “and I’m an idiot. He was manipulating me so I would trust him. He knew I was vulnerable and exploited that, and he’s a textbook narcissist.” 

“Psych major?” Spencer asks as I sit on my couch with my head in my hands, wrapping my head around the fact that my favourite professor wants to kill me. 

“Yeah, so I should have seen the signs. But I guess being a target is what happens when you’re stupid enough to trust the first teacher who approaches you.” I start crying, this sucks. The doctor, Spencer I think he said his name is, hands me a tissue. I take it graciously, a small smile creeps onto my lips at the gesture.

“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known he was a crazy serial killer. You were just being a good student, but you said that he approached you?” He sits next to me on the couch letting me lean on him slightly.

“Yeah, he came up to me after a lecture, raving about one of my essays and how my perspective was fascinating and came from a personal place. He basically decoded me from an essay. Where is he now?” I pull myself together enough to sit up, seeing the tear stains on his sweater. “ I’m sorry about your sweater.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiles and looks down at the stains I left. “We are trying to locate him now and put him away so he can’t hurt you or anyone else.” 

“So what am I supposed to do until he’s caught?”

“Do you have anything here to work on? Homework or test to prepare for? I’m a great study buddy if you need help.”  He smiles as if he’s not here to protect me from my crazy killer professor.

“Actually I do have a criminal psychology essay due in like 10 hours.” 

“10 hours?! Why have you been putting it off? Unless the topic is something uncomfortable to think about?” 

“You said your name was Spencer, right? Is it okay if I call you that?” He nods, still waiting for me to answer the question. “Well, Spencer, the essay is about what would make us snap, or our stressor as you guys call it, and kill people. Like searching through our traumas to see what would be the last straw. It’s not exactly a pleasant thought.” 

Spencer looks into my eyes, deep like he’s reaching for my soul. He’s trying to profile me, but making it look a lot harder than it is. “You’ve been through a lot before: tough childhood, bad relationships, things like that,” I nod my head averting my eyes “But none of those things means you’re going to become a killer. Stressors only work if you let them, and I’ve had years of profiling experience and from the short time I’ve known you I can safely say you are incapable of killing someone.” 

“How are you so sure? You barely know me?” I look up from my hands and gaze into his eyes, they are the warmest honey brown color. 

“You and I both know you can learn a lot about someone without having to know them for a significant amount of time. I am highly skilled in the area of subtle detections and putting together clues to build personalities from fragments.”

“Yeah, I’m aware. I can’t hide anything from you because you already know it, so you are already well aware that I am incredibly attracted to you. I may not be an FBI profiler, but I can tell you like me too.” I put my hands over his, seeing his cheeks flare pink at the gesture. I lean closer to him, feeling his breath on my face.

Until he suddenly pulls back, but it was forceful. He didn’t want to, but he had to. I was about to apologize for how inappropriate it was, he’s just doing his job, but he starts before I can talk.

“Your essay is due in 10 hours, more accurately 9 hours 47 minutes and 22 seconds, and you haven’t started. Work on your essay, it’ll distract you from the current situation.” He stands and paces the room as if trying to come up with the best solution to a problem. I just couldn’t tell if the problem was me or the case. 

I was going to argue with him, but I sighed knowing he’s right. I need to write my essay so I don’t fail my class. The screen burns my eyes as I stare at the practically blank screen. The sound of my fingers running across the keyboard fills my small apartment as I figure out my story. I stop for a moment after several minutes of furious typing and look up.

“What are some typical stressors of serial killers?” I ask Spencer giving him the opportunity to use his genius brain to help me. 

After 4 tortuous hours of writing and editing done by Dr. Reid, I hit submit on my essay. I high five the young doctor in celebration, but he catches my  hand and intertwines his fingers with mine instead. The air catches in my throat, I’m speechless. Now it’s my turn to blush at a small gesture. He holds me for a moment, gazes locked on each other. I lean up to meet his lips, but a knock at my door disturbs the quiet of the room. Reid puts a finger to his lips signalling for silence. 

“Y/N open up. I know you’re home.” A voice calls from the hall.

“Hank.” I whisper, frightfully looking at Spencer pleading for some direction in the situation. How am I supposed to know what to do when my crazy professor shows up at my apartment to kill me? He nods his head toward the door as he creeps in its direction silently, gun in hand. He looks hot when he’s in agent mode. Wait, not the biggest issue right now, focus Y/N. I stand behind the door, looking over at him and he nods. I open the door slightly. “Hey Professor Deslaurier, what’s up?” He looks distressed and frazzled, but I would too if the fucking FBI was trying to find me for being a serial killer. 

“I’ve been looking for you.” 

“Uhhhh, I’ve been working on a paper. Do you need something?” I stand close to the door, practically hugging it as if my life depended on it. Reid’s presence behind the door went undetected by my professor since he stepped closer to the door. 

“The paper must be amazing, you were always an amazing writer. May I come in?” He wasn’t really asking, his foot in the doorframe. 

“I would rather not, I’m very busy. Deadlines and all.” I push the door closed, but before I could he shoves his way in. I walk backwards into the open space, consciously making an effort not to let Deslaurier know Reid is there by looking at him, which became incredibly difficult as he came closer to me pushing my back into a wall. 

“You were always so intelligent and strong headed, but now, you’re just weak and pathetic. Aww look at the panic in your eyes. You can’t think your way out of this one.” He pulls a knife from his pocket and presses the flat side to my neck and I whimper. I squirmed in his grasp and in a moment of panic, I look at Reid. Deslaurier’s gaze follows mine and meets the agent standing in my apartment, gun cocked. Suddenly the cold, hard wall I was pressed against became warm and soft as my killer holds me against him like a shield, a knife to my throat. “Who is this son of a bitch?”

“I’m Dr. Reid with the FBI. Release her, put down the knife.” Spencer points his gun at the floor, knowing he would be unable to get a shot that wouldn’t hit me. 

“Oooh, a doctor she chooses smart guys to whore herself out to.” I squirm in his grasp. My neck burns as the sharp edge of the weapon presses into me. 

“I’m just here to protect her from you. You aren’t as clever as you think you are, you know? We caught you. You can’t hurt anybody anymore. Drop the knife and let her go. Now. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will. Let her go.”

“Spencer, please.” I whisper, tears streaming down my face. I’m probably going to die, I’ve accepted that. I just don’t want Spencer to see me go, I can tell this is killing him. Agent or no agent, this is an awful situation to be put in. 

“Does she mean something to you, Doctor? I wouldn’t get attached if I were you, she’ll just throw you away like she did to me. Best and brightest in my class, but just another stupid girl outside of it.” If looks could kill, Deslaurier would be dead under Reid’s gaze. His eyes soften when he looks at me, giving me hope. With a sudden rush of adrenaline, I swing my leg back into my capture’s knee, dislocating it in the process. The knife sliced through part of my neck, just barely missing vital veins. Spencer takes his shot as the professor falls to the ground, catching me in his strong arms as I fall forward. 

“Hey, hey, hey look at me. You’re going to be okay. Everything is going to be fine. We’re going to take you to the hospital and get you stitched up. Okay? Just keep looking at me.” He holds me as we sit on the floor. 

“Spencer…” I whisper and everything goes dark.

Beeping and whispers fill the room as I open my eyes. I’m sitting in a hospital bed, what happened? Why does my head hurt so much? 

“Hey take it easy. You’re in the hospital, you lost a lot of blood.” Spencer says, standing next to my bed taking my hand.

“What happened after I blacked out? How did we get here?” The beeping becomes incessant as my heart races.

“Relax, it’s okay,” He squeezes my hand and the beeping softens, “My team went to your apartment and took care of Deslaurier, I shot him in the shoulder after you kicked him, which good job by the way, even if it caused you to get hurt. You ended up getting a nasty cut on your neck, but it missed any critical veins.”

“Thanks.” I smile looking at our hands.

“You know you scared me half to death when you lost consciousness.”

“Well, sorry, I’ll try not to almost get murdered by a serial killer next time.” I smirk sarcastically as he laughs stroking my cheek. 

“Yeah, thanks.” 

“You know, we were in the middle of something before being rudely interrupted.” I look up at the gorgeous doctor who happened to save my life. 

“Oh yeah, where were we again?” He smirks, lowering himself closer to my level in the bed.

“Right about here.” I pull him close, kissing his pillow soft lips.

[sonjaohno]

Democracy in America

Hello dear friends and family,

October is off to a crisp start and I've been busy squirreling away at the library. It's already been one month since I arrived, which makes it high time for some reflection. I've been working hard to come up with clever answers to the question of "what my impressions are" mainly because (and a list of so-called impressions follows):

I thought Finns were insecure, with their country branding workshops and whatnot, perennially worried about what other people (read: the Swedes) think of us, but I can tell you, Americans are worse. In all the years I've lived in Berlin, not once has a German person (nor a Berliner—these are two completely distinct groups of people) asked me to tell them what I "think" about their country, or what my "impressions" are. Maybe they know better than to ask. Maybe they really don't care. Americans, on the other hand (including New Yorkers, though a similar non-equivalence exists here), cannot get enough of foreigners' interpretations of their country. I think it's because they genuinely don't know what to think about their country themselves and are waiting for somebody to tell them what the hell is going on here. So, what are my impressions so far?

America is home to some really great things. So far, my top three list is i) cinnamon-flavored chewing gum ii) hazelnut-flavored filter coffee (a mystery but a delightful one) iii) pecan-pumpkin-spice-flavored filter coffee (again, I don't know who came up with this or what they do to make coffee taste like a Hallmark card but I fuckin love it) iv) ditto, snickerdoodles (both the word and the pastry). Oops, that's four.

There is, however, clearly something wrong with a country that has to keep toothpaste under lock and key at the drugstore. I mean, toothpaste is expensive here—$5.99 for a tube, are you kidding me?—but it's still not exactly a luxury item. I literally have to ring a bell at Duane Reed to get an employee to open the toothpaste safe for a tube of Colgate. I wondered about this out loud to a New Yorker, who told me it's because the Duane Reed I went to is located at a "minor transportation hub," in the corner of W 110th and Broadway, which presumably means that this ludicrously wealthy Upper West Side drugstore frequented mostly by Columbia students and faculty is some kind of a crime hotspot. I should probably start carrying a gun.

Americans are loud. I feel like shushing people all the time, which makes me feel like a bad person. If anyone asked me to, I'd be more than happy to provide instructions for adjusting the volume of one's speech to different situations. It'd go something like follows: i) When outdoors, use what you would consider an "indoors voice." ii) When indoors, use what you would consider a "library voice." iii) When in the library, shut the fuck up. Pretty simple, huh?

The American economy would collapse if people stopped living on takeaway meals and coffees. I have never seen people so comfortable dishing out $20-50 per day for food they don't like and coffee they don't need. I mean, I'm not even able to get out of bed without several cups of coffee in the morning but I'd find it really hard to justify a $10 daily budget for iced-mocha-swirly lattes and another $10 for dumplings, when you can just pack a sandwich. The number of students able to afford this kind of lifestyle is just astounding. (This is Columbia, I am aware that the people without trust funds constitute a minority.) I feel positively frugal with my leftover lunches and thermos bottle of coffee (this week it's Donut Shop Roast, which disappointingly does not taste like donuts).

Americans like to think of themselves as libertarians and are famously opposed to state-imposed regulation—but I've never felt as regulated and rule-bound as I have here. It's just that the rules aren't handed down by government officials but by the various enterprises, including private businesses and universities (the latter is included in the former but deserves a honorary mention of its own), who would rather impose elaborate codes of conduct than leave people to their common senses and be sued when something inevitably happens. As one particularly pointless example, I have to complete an online covid-symptom checklist every morning before I'm allowed to enter campus—a "Daily Attestation," it's called—where I solemnly swear that I did not have a cough or a sore throat that morning, either. The only conceivable purpose of this useless exercise is to ensure that if somebody does show up on campus sneezing and wheezing their viral particles around, Columbia can't sued for not having done everything in its power to prevent the virus from spreading. Airing out rooms, though, is strictly out of the question—presumably because it's against some other rule designed to stop students from committing suicide by jumping out a third-floor window. As a person who is physiologically unable to follow pointless rules, I find this kind of self-serving, counter-logical box ticking absolutely infuriating.

It's not all bad, though. Yesterday I went to a Japanese jazz speakeasy around Midtown. We had to stand in line for about an hour, between a group of 17-year-old musical theater majors and 27-year-old jazz enthusiasts. The former were bursting out in spontaneous, perfectly synchronized song every few minutes, the latter were debating scales or keys or some such—I'm telling you, it was like walking into a badly-written scene of Glee. It was worth it though. At one point, during a several-minute-long drum solo, I experienced what can only be described as a moment of pure transcendence. People were all around me were yelling over the music and gesticulating wildly and, for a few seconds, time compressed to something graspable; a thing crackling with energy. An oceanic feeling is, in the words of turn-of-the-century mystic Romain Rolland, “a spontaneous … feeling of the ‘eternal’ (which can very well not be eternal, but simply without perceptible limits, and like oceanic, as it were).” If eternity can be found in a midtown basement, Manhattan can’t be all bad. (Below a video clip I took discreetly when entering.)

P.s. A friend of mine said that I should write an Alexis de Tocqueville -type report about my time in America, which explains the title of this post. For the literary agents and non-fiction editors reading this blog (jk, apparently it's my mum and three of her friends who read these entries—hi!!!), you can email me at sonjaohno at gmail dot com for a book deal.

[tundrainafrica]

Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (3/17)

Summary:  “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice.” At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“

Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.

Note: This has been sitting on my computer untouched for a while, along with the timeline I prepared for a multichapter fic. Will probs go back to it soon. Feedback is very much appreciated.

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Link to cross-postings: AO3

The forms were so painfully boring, Levi almost regretted agreeing to meet Moblit. One of the few things, if not the only thing, stopping him from backing out of the study then and there, was the hope it could give him an excuse to see her again. He planned to ease himself into the process of meeting her, not wanting to make a complete fool or a complete stalker of himself.

There was the option to ask for her number. The option to ask for her schedule. Or he could maybe just scan through enough pages on google to find some hint as to what the hell she does, where she goes and where he could possibly “accidentally” meet her. The last option had proved ineffective, Levi spent a good few hours a day doing just that. Just in case maybe, the links he found through google do change.

The sheer embarrassment and conflicted feelings that came with having delusion drive his actions, had Levi worse off than before. Although the nightmares that left him in pain in the mornings had become few and far between, he could not help but think that possibly the reason why was because he barely got any sleep anymore, kept awake by his brain trying to process that relationship he had with Hange and the story that was made known to him.

His five hours a night had dwindled into three when classes started. His brain having no time to process the dreams during classes and training, Levi found himself taking up more time lying awake in bed, building the world his dreams were telling him about and how Hange fit into all of it.    

The lack of sleep caught up to him particularly when he was sifting through the pages of waivers and information sheets in the coffee shop near campus at nine in the morning. The words started to blur into blobs and Levi became aware of how much he hated Calibri as a font, a small issue in the grand scheme of things. Lacking sleep and utterly frustrated at his lack of progress though, Levi was finding many reasons not to read them.

He eventually gave up, instead checking box after box after box. “When do you need this?” Levi asked Moblit who sat in front of him.

“As soon as possible… But I really recommend you read ---”

“Well, how much time are you gonna give me to read?”

“I don’t have any classes today so I’m pretty much free the whole day.”

“Same.” He felt the venom in his tone particularly resonate and a part of him regretted it as he said it. That day was particularly special. He had no class. With their coach out on a meeting with other schools to discuss the tournaments and line ups this year, he had given the players a day off. Levi pretty much had that whole day to himself yet, he still went to the trouble of dressing up just to meet Moblit only to find out he’d be going through pages worth of documents while half awake. “I’ll just get a cup of coffee.”

Levi was already halfway out of seat when Moblit took out his wallet.  

“Let me pay for it.” Moblit handed Levi a few bills. He had an apologetic look on his face as if he did understand the inconvenience the study would cause anyone. The look Moblit gave him suddenly made Levi self conscious about the tone he had been answering Moblit with since a while ago.

Levi took the money with a small nod of thanks. It was free coffee after all and he did not have much leeway given his monthly allowance.

When Levi got back to their table black coffee in one hand, he could see that Moblit had reorganized the papers, the uncompleted page sitting neatly on top. He had also opened the sandwich he had bought half an hour ago and was eating it already

“Before I forget, did you bring Hange’s keychain?” Moblit asked in between bites.

“Ah, I forgot about that.” Levi kept his tone emotionless for fear of having his guilt take over him. In fact, he never did forget about the keychain. It sat on the side table next to his bed, a glimmer of hope that that morning in the track wouldn't be the last time he saw her.

“Maybe I could come back to your dorm with you and get it after this?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot. I’m not going straight to the dorm. I have plans after this.” A blatant lie. Levi rarely forgot plans.

“Really?”

Levi made a show of going through his phone as he sat down. “Sorry, I didn’t check my calendar this morning. It looks like I have to work on my own stuff for my thesis with my groupmates.” Seniors did not have as many classes as lowerclassmen so the excuse for classes probably would not have worked. As Levi also was aware, the weight of the responsibility lost by only having two classes a week was replaced with the weight of the expectation of creating their own research to add to the body of knowledge in their major.

“How long is your meeting? Maybe I could stop by...” Moblit looked unsure about his own suggestion as if he too understood too the importance of thesis for any senior.

“I dunno. It’s our first meeting and it’s pretty important since we still don’t have much planned.” At that moment, Levi thanked the heavens for his course. He was taking an interdisciplinary track so people had the option to do their thesis by group or individually. His choice of his classes had made it so that he had to do his thesis individually. Moblit did not need to know that much though.

The magic word “thesis” eventually did work in the conversation between the two seniors and finally, Moblit had dropped his shoulders in defeat. “Sorry if I’m being a little pushy. I guess that keychain is just pretty important to me too. I was the one who gave it to her.”  

Levi studied the face of Moblit as they talked. Molit did not have the most memorable face so Levi had not figured it out at first glance. As he allowed himself a few seconds to focus on his features and match it to those in his dream, he realized that Moblit was the same soldier who was constantly following Hange in his dreams. “You two must be close,” Levi said. Hange and I were close too.

"We're childhood friends.”

Levi found himself envying Moblit’s place in Hange’s life. Not wanting to engage that thought though, he instead decided to digress into something more positive for him. “So you'd know why she seemed pretty enthusiastic about her thesis.”

“She’s just passionate and gets a little too excited at times.” Moblit gave an embarrassed smile from what could have been second hand embarrassment. “I really hope you didn’t end up hating her. She really wanted to get to know you.”

“Oh really?” Then why doesn’t she. Levi added to himself.

“She’s been studying athletes since we were in high school. One of our friends was actually the subject of our final thesis for high school and Hange won best research with her. She wanted to move on to studying more high level athletes and she was talking non stop about the possibility of working with an athlete here. Then when we were scouting around for athletes to possibly study, she started showing me a lot of videos of you. She could talk non stop about your form, the height you achieved, your body control. I guess that was until you guys ended up meeting...” Moblit looked like he was aware of the weight of that statement and had tried to lighten the mood with a light laugh.

Levi rearranged that last sentence in his head. Until she met me.

Moblit had trailed off from there and Levi wondered how what kind of face he was making for Moblit to realize he had felt guilty about it.

Moblit gave Levi a consoling look. “She seems to be progressing well with Elijah though.”

For a second, Levi could not fathom how Moblit got the idea that that sentence could console him. In fact, just knowing that Hange had gotten over him so fast, had his chest knotting up.

On the outside though, he made sure to raise his eyebrows and nod, to look at least a little surprised and interested. “How’s her research so far?”

Moblit shook his head in amazement. “She's working at a much faster pace than I am. After what happened with you, it’s pretty admirable she bounced back so fast.”

“I don’t hate her. I could work with her if she really wants to.”

“God, this makes me think I should have started earlier." Moblit rested his forehead on his palm. "Your suggestion might be hard... Last time I checked, she was neck deep in her research with Elijah already.”

Even as a senior, there were places on campus Levi had never visited. All of his classes were clustered in one small area of the campus.  The track he would rush to train in would be just a five minute walk away, his dorm a fifteen minute walk or a five minute bike.

He never had any reason to visit the other side which housed the science students and the laboratories. Possibly, one of the reasons why he had never met Hange until that day in the track.

It was a ten minute walk from his dormitory, in a completely different direction from his buildings and the track. He decided to abandon his bike for the more flexible option of walking. He did not know if they had have any place to park a bike nor how long he would be there. More importantly, he wanted the freedom of slowing his pace without considering the traffic as he took in the unfamiliar scenery.

Third floor. Fritz Hall.

In fact, he did not need the directions to the biology department. He could have easily asked anyone among the students there. The more important information was the room number and the laboratory name.

He clutched the keychain in his pocket and  took the stairs two at a time arriving into a narrow corridor that stretched into both directions.

Thesis labs. Or that was how Mobilit described them. Each biology professor managed a laboratory for students. There were those who focused on internal medicine, those who focused on epidemiology. In each of those rooms was an office and a lab for senior students doing research under the guidance of a professor of a similar specialty.

If he wanted to find Hange, the office was their best chance. Room 301. It would be at one of the ends of the corridors. He only had to figure out the order of the numbers and from there, walk towards the end of the hall. He gripped the handle of the door and pushed it down, only pushing slightly at the door to open a crack wide enough to peek in.

“May I help you?”

“You’re Erwin Smith…” Just like with Hange, Levi had quickly picked up the name as he saw him.

“Yes I am. Nice to meet you.” Erwin did not look surprised to see that someone had named him by face. That was enough of a hint for Levi to realize that that man was probably their professor on top of how he dressed and how he carried himself.

“I’m looking for Hange Zoe.” Levi decided at that moment not to lie. He was sure he could find a reason to justify wanting to give it directly to Hange. He did not want to consider it at that moment. He just wanted to see her.

“She has class now but you can wait for her inside the lab." He gave Levi a onceover. You must be Elijah then.”

Levi gave a subtle nod, hoping Erwin would at least not take that as a full yes later on. At that point in time, he just wanted to minimize the questions he might need to answer. HIs heart was beating hard and his mind was racing. He had gone behind Moblit’s back, taking note of the schedule shared to him and picking a time where Moblit would not be in the office. Pretense and lies were nothing new to Levi but the presence of Erwin in the room particularly made Levi feel dirty for going through all that just to meet one person. With Erwin in front of him, for the first time he felt guilty lying.

"It's obvious from your build that you've been jumping and running your whole life. I hope you could give Hange some good data. All she’s been talking about was this study since I agreed to take her in."

“What’s her research about?” Was she enjoying working with Elijah so far? Was she happy? There were too many things Levi had wanted to ask but he found himself treading along the narrow path of things only Elijah would have known.

Erwin looked at him questioningly. “She wants to do a case study. I expected she’d at least tell you that much.” He shook his head and smiled. “She always had trouble explaining science jargon to the average person.”

Levi wanted to kick himself. Erwin at least answered his own question on any suspicion he might have about Levi (or Elijah.)

“Elijah, do me a favor and ask her yourself. I’d rather Hange also learned how to communicate science to the average person.” Erwin tapped Levi on the shoulder. “Make yourself at home. NIfa’s in the laboratory right now so she can keep you company. You can also use the computer while waiting.”

Levi only noticed the book bag Erwin was holding to his side as he looked back at him. He could not help but feel a bout of disappointment as he saw the professor walk away. It felt like there was still a lot to learn from him.

Levi entered the laboratory to find a woman with auburn hair hunched over a microscope. “Where’s Erwin going?” He asked.

“Erwin?” Nifa looked up from her  “Doctor Smith you mean?”

Nifa. That’s her name. Oddly, Levi did not need to ask for her name either.

Nifa only confirmed it a second later after chastising him for calling Erwin his first name. ‘Doctor Smith did not roll out of Levi’s tongue as well as Erwin. The most Levi could hope for was he never faced a situation where he had to call him by name again. A long shot if he ended up working with Hange or Moblit. At the same time, a worry he did not want to occupy himself with again.

“Hange’s class ends at two so you’re gonna have to wait an extra thirty minutes. You can use the computer over there to pass the time.”

Levi looked down at his phone to see only one bar on the upper right.

“Yeah, problems about being stationed at the corner of the building. No signal. And the wifi is only strong enough for a laptop.” Nifa gestured at her own laptop next to the microscope.

Levi walked towards the computer. It was an older model but it looked well loved. He only had to click on his mouse for the screen to boot up to the home screen with some desktop background which looked like some campaign for underprivileged kids and untapped potentials.

He clicked on the google chrome icon. The option to restore pages from a previous session popped up. He had considered completely ignoring it but he considered it might be someone’s precious browsing history and instead decided to leave it on and to just open an incognito instead for his own personal browsing

He was ready to open one up when he saw the tabs that had opened up in front of him.

Ackerman bags gold, Miller silver in the Collegiate Cup.

Levi looked to the profile on the right to see that it was Hange’s Google profile logged into the account. She was researching him?

That small glimmer of what could have been happiness dissipated as soon as Levi figured out the pattern of the articles.

It wasn’t about him.

High Jump Superstar Miller breaks record in high school meet.

Miller commits to Paradis University.

College sophomore Miller bags gold in Horizontal Jump Event.

It was torture looking through the multiple tabs that reopened. As painful as it was, he still  wanted to confirm if Hange really was ‘neck deep’ in her research. The bookmarked pages, he also decided to take a peek at had confirmed his fear. There were fifty if not a hundred tabs with article titles mentioning that one athlete.

Levi found himself closing the tabs as he went through them, a small rebellion to the reality in front of him. Hange probably bookmarked them if she needed them anyway. He stopped as he came across a Youtube video towards the end of the string of tabs.

WATCH: College Junior Ackerman beats both personal and national record for the High Jump Category.

Rookie Ackerman bags gold in the Regional Cup with record breaking height.

Levi recognized those tournaments. Those were his best jumps, one of them the most recent one he had performed, only earlier that year.

Watching the videos with the commentary felt surreal. In the interviews, he was the one answering the questions but somehow, Levi felt like he was still learning something new from the version of himself of the screen. He never did pay too much attention during interviews, only asking the questions when asked in the manner Coach Greg had directed him too.

Not wanting to confuse himself any longer with what seemed like another out of body experience, he focused again on Hange’s Gmail account which was logged into Youtube. Just to make sure his conclusion had been real. She was still watching his videos.

She had committed to working with Elijah. Why?  

“Miller was slated to be the new superstar in Paradis University with a vertical jump of 8 centimeters  and a promising record height differential of 40 centimeters.”

Levi jumped as he heard someone talk behind him. How long has she been there? It was her voice. Yet at the same time, it was too uncharacteristically serious he did not want to believe it was her. As Levi slowly looked behind me, she only continued to talk.

“But then four years ago, Coach Gregory Rivers scouts a new kid from a small town five hours away from the city. The kid had potential. Enough potential to maybe play backup to Elijah Miller. Levi Ackerman with a vertical leap of 76 centimeters and a record height differential of 37 centimeters.”

“Elijah Miller had a higher overall record. Mike Zacharias and Nanaba Briete too." Mike Zacharias and Nanaba Briete . Those were the two athletes who had cooperated with Hange's study back in high school. Levi had made sure to read her old research, in case he would have to use them to convince her to reconsider him.

“Your numbers in high school weren’t groundbreaking. Unless we consider that you’re 157 centimeters tall." The wonder was back in her voice, completely replacing what he realized was the scientist in her talking. "You did not have the height but you had remarkable control, the core strength, the leg power and the flexibility to fly over the bar even when you’re so close to it. That was what Gregory Rivers saw in you when he scouted you for Paradis University. What he didn't expect was for you to outshine Miller or even the seniors."

Hange came up behind him and grabbed the mouse. As Levi watched her go through the bookmarks, he realized if he had scrolled further, he would have seen more bookmarks.

Rookie Ackerman bags gold in the Regional Cup.

Super rookie carries Paradis to nationals.

She clicked one of the bookmarks and played the the video that came up. Levi could only watch silently as the Levi on the screen ran towards the bar, and propelled himself through the air. His vertical was definitely much higher than 37 centimeters at that point. In college though, no one in his team was counting anymore. The importance was he got through every jump without ever touching the bar.

"I wanna know Levi. From a nobody from a no name school, how did your height differential increase twofold. More importantly, how is it that you've not failed a single jump since you entered university? It's amazing. The amount of balance, core strength and body control to keep your body flexible enough not to hit the bar. The amount of leg strength needed to jump that high. You really must be superhuman.”

“I’m not.” Regretfully, Levi’s denial was enough for Hange to snap out of her state of what seemed like euphoria.

Hange put her hand to her mouth. "Sorry, I talked too much." With that, she resisted the closeness and was once again a meter away just standing awkwardly behind him. "I guess I should go back to work. Did Moblit tell you what time he'll be coming?"

"Moblit's not coming today."

"Oh... Can I help you with something?" Once again, Hange was watching her words and her movements with him. That was not the Hange from his dreams. The Hange that had introduced herself the first time they had met on the track. It pained Levi to see her like that and he wanted to make it right.

Levi had prepared himself for possible interactions when he read through Hange's old works. At that moment, Levi took control of his feelings. " I came here because I wanted to ask if you'd be willing to consider." He kept his words as careful as Hange's were with him. "I read your case study on Nanaba Briete and Mike Zacharius. And I thought I could probably provide you with similar data, maybe better data. Let me jump for you."

"Levi…"

"No. I wanna jump for you." Levi did not know what Hange had planned to say. At that point, he did not want to give her any doubts to build on.

This time I'm not going to lose you. A voice inside him said. It disappeared soon after and Levi wondered when he had he lost her.

[naomixhill]

“Aren’t you the one who got expelled from DeSales?” These were the first words that you said to me as you approached me at David’s bonfire in 2011. We were seventeen years old. A group of us came here after a Friday night football game. There were a handful of neighborhoods in our village, perhaps five important ones, but the one we were in that night was the best – the one where sophistication meets elegance meets English-inspired architecture. There was a twenty-seven Jack Nicklaus golf course in front of David’s home. Inside the house was a grand reception room, medium sized ballroom, martini parlor, two dueling libraries, a small art gallery, and a wine cellar. Throughout the home, opulence of the tenth degree: marble floors and 18’ high ceilings and two servants. Just beyond where I was sitting, there was a heated pool, veranda, and small tennis court. Jews get everything. This whole village was Jews, new money snobs, and plastic surgery. But I never minded.

 You repeated the question, “Hellooooo, Naomi, right?” I looked up at you with red, glossy eyes. I was stoned, and David’s two servants had been serving Cabernet since we got there. I smirked, raised my head at you, and said, “Who’s asking?” You extended your hand and introduced yourself with the charismatic, all consuming smile that I would one day become familiar. I did not return the warm reception; I had a magical sadness about me that year that began with the death of my rapist and ended with my name being the topic of more than one scandal. I hardly remember much of the year at all, but I remember meeting you there that night. In That Place.

 You acted like you were meeting a celebrity. You mentioned a few of the rumors that spread around DeSales about me, most of which were incredibly true, and I told you that night, “It doesn’t matter what people say about you unless you believe it.” You told me that you had just transferred to the village school and that you were incredibly lucky: You lived in a modest home on the edge of town that had not been seized by Wexner for further construction of his brick empire. I was completely awestricken by you. You were so bold, so empowered to speak truth, so nonchalant in the way you spoke, and had this magnetic flowerchild persona. If it hadn’t been for you that night, I would have drank alone at the firepit of David’s home. It was true that I was still frequently invited to events that year and next, but I was never really one of these people and I always remained on the outskirts of parties and social gatherings. When the night ended, I told you not to talk to me again. You needed a fighting chance to assimilate in this odd, wealthy village school that was more reminiscent of an episode of Gossip Girl than a place in Ohio. You were never going to get that if you associated with me.

                                                       ~

We reconnected in February 2014. It was a historically brutal winter in Ohio, frequently closing down the university, and I was frailer at 106 lbs, more contemplative, and battling an autoimmune disorder that was so severe that I was sure it would have killed me. Looking back on it now, there is no doubt in my mind that your antithesis to everything that I was saved me. From the moment we reconnected, there was rarely a moment that we were apart. Every morning, you held back my hair as I spent the morning vomiting into a dormitory toilet. When I would try to crawl back into bed, you would force me into a warm bath, lay out clothes for me, and often blow-dry my hair when I was too weak to do so myself. Without fail, and for the entire semester, you would walk me to the cafeteria, watch me eat breakfast, and we would undoubtedly end up back on the bathroom floor for several more hours. But you’d still make sure that I attended my afternoon classes, even if that meant sitting on the business halls’ floors in effort to see that I didn’t leave. You were the only person who knew how bad my health had gotten that year.

 Because to everyone else, I was confident and had accomplished in my studies precisely what I had in my social circle of business students—complete mastery, complete command. I was fastidious, wearing almost exclusively Brooks Brothers button downs that tucked into dark colored slacks or designer jeans, and carried myself with an air of superiority that few ever questioned. In school and in the finance society, I was the best. I maintained a portfolio of investments that had achieved a 56% return that year, and when I shared my opinion on what our club should be investing in, I was rarely wrong. It awed some, and frustrated many male egos that couldn’t understand it. I was an excellent financial analyst to be, interviewing at several bulge bracket investment banks in New York and Chicago that year. And when anyone questioned me or alluded that I couldn’t possibly being doing as well as I was, I would raise my prominent nose nostrils at them and say nothing at all.

 I didn’t dress, walk, talk, or play like other college students did. I was incredibly aloof and malicious, whereas you were a never-ending ray of sunshine. You were bohemian and buoyant and wise all wrapped into a blonde package of beauty. My persona was much more overpowering and chilling. Yet, you liked me, and you held my secret, and no one ever questioned why you—the special education major—were in the business hall at 2 pm, 4 pm, 8 pm, and 10 pm everyday. In fact, most of my companions that year really preferred you to me and it was often a relief to have you there as a shield.

 In the summer of 2015, we moved into an off campus apartment in what would be considered the Chinatown of Columbus, Ohio. With my full-time job in financial services and lucrative investments from the prior year, I had tried to convince you to live downtown in a high-rise apartment, but you wouldn’t have it. You always wanted to pay your own way, and Chinatown was what you could afford. So we lived there with Ethan Allen furniture, your bohemian nonsensical decorations, including a plethora of crystals, bags of cannabis, and music posters. By the end of the summer, I was showing signs of recovery, though the months of medical bills had put me in a tougher spot financially than before. I was still able to casually pay our rent and fixed expenses, afford food, and pay my own tuition without much concern. Though it was in September that everything changed.

 You worked at a Bob Evan’s right behind the university that summer to save for college, but you had racked up $17,000 on a credit card that was accruing monthly interest. You wanted to save, but you were forced to pay that down and there was never an expense that you met that you didn’t like. It has always been who you are: you spend too much on others, too much on holiday decorations, too much on latest clothing styles, too much online, too much on fast food, just too much. So even though you worked your sixty hours a week until that political bill made everyone like you work thirty-seven and a half hours and not a moment more, you couldn’t make tuition. And I couldn’t help you.

 I remember one night we were in Cincinnati for a Cal Scruby concert when the idea came to me. I said, “There are a lot of girls in Pi Phi that I know that use this escort site to make fast cash, and you are much prettier and have a much better personality.” So while we waited for the concert to begin, we turned the Marriott hotel room into a glamorous studio for photos, and wrote you a descriptive, alluring profile on that website. Looking back on this now, I am not sure what I was thinking except that it seemed like a perfectly sensible thing to do, and everyone else was doing it. An older, established Cleveland man solicited you within the hour. You planned to meet him later that week. A thousand dollars just like that.

 But that fateful morning, you confessed that you couldn’t do it. And I knew then that if you didn’t return to school that semester, you might never. And I thought about your credit card debt, your newly broken down car, and your ambitions slipping away from you. And I couldn’t let you, the brilliant bohemian with so much to offer to the world, possibly lose it all that easily. So I knew what this all meant for me, but the way I saw it, and still see it, is that it was the least I could do for the person who likely saved my life. So I became you: I went to a hair salon that day and dyed my harsh, almost black hair, to bleach blonde; I bought extensions; I bought baby blue eye contacts; I used makeup to manipulate a small mole on my cheek; I contoured my face, used drugstore eyelashes, and it was convincing enough. That night, I wore a pink kimono with ripped jeans and pale high heels. I wasn’t nearly as tall as you, but I hoped our Cleveland man wouldn’t notice. And he didn’t. And that was that.

 These visits continued twelve times, and we never spoke about them. It was our next big secret, and one I never planned to mention them to a soul. Your fall tuition was paid and I was relatively healthy, and we had our oasis in Chinatown. Everything was finally alright, it seemed, until December.

 There was only one problem: That Piece of Shit Heroin Addict. Back in the summer before the school year began, you had met Josiah. Perhaps it was my jealously of losing part of you, but I never took to him. You could have had any of my friends majoring in finance – we both know that they all loved you, and could have given you the life you wanted – but you chose him. I am certain that your biggest flaw has always been loving flawed people and thinking that you could positively influence the outcome of their lives’ through love and belief alone. Josiah was everything that I loathed about a person: he was uncouth to a fault, sported a horribly unkempt appearance with long, blonde, greasy and tangled hair, had terribly patchy facial hair, had lightly yellowed teeth from years of smoking and drug abuse. Best of all, he drove a sports car. His family was from the neighboring county, and in Ohio, if you don’t live in the capital county, you might as well live in the middle of a fucking farm wasteland infested with heroin, blue-collar jobs, and Mountain Dew.

 I tolerated this boy in the summer because you loved him. But it worried me when you would come home at 3 a.m. with him and his cronies, and they would all end up sprawled out on the floor of our apartment. These people were not good enough for you, and they brought you down with them. I would have done anything to better myself that year—I associated myself with the most elite people our university could offer, all of whom today ended up becoming prominent investment bankers and private equity directors, some traveling internationally, some making over half a million dollars annually – but you always found yourself attracted to the bottom.

 He manipulated you. He told you lies about me, and made you think differently about me. He fed you drugs. He sedated your sunshine and stole your youth. And then in December, he convinced you that I was nothing more than a haughty, arrogant, self-serving person, which perhaps was right to some degree, but never with you, and that you needed to leave. So one night in December, when I was traveling, you stole everything out of our apartment – right down to the kitchen table and bath curtains – and left me to come home to nothing. You never returned my calls or texts, and it was more than a year before I ever got an explanation.

You went from my fascination to my friend to my caregiver to my roommate and best friend to my deepest regret.

 In fact, for the next six years, you tried to contact me sporadically, pleading for forgiveness, but there was nothing that I could offer you. At times, you would comment on my life events that you could see through social media. You told me how happy I looked in my wedding photos, but little did you know for those four years that I was getting beaten, evens sometimes being held at gunpoint, literally; you told me how successful I had become from my work, but little did you know that I was facing more than one harassment suit; you would tell me you were happy that my life had become so wonderful, but you had no idea that at the very time you sent that, that I was sitting in a hospital waiting to be radiated for cervix cancer. And through all of it, I thought of you frequently, sometimes spitefully, sometimes with more regret than a person can carry, sometimes with fondness.

                                                        ~

But I never returned any of your correspondence until last week. And now, here we are at a Panera in a rundown suburb, and I am staring right at you. The passage of time has not been your friend: you wear bold framed glasses that remind me of Buddy Holly. Pregnancy has turned your beautiful blonde hair into an ashy brown shade and your long, cascading curls have been cut into curly short strands. You have gained perhaps thirty or forty pounds, hidden under a large, flowing hippy blouse – so that has remained, your style.

 When I approach you, you throw your arms around me for what feels like an eternity. I had planned to dig into you; I had wanted you to feel the internal war that has been raging inside of me since your departure. But I can’t do it. As you pull away from our embrace, you try to speak but your lower lip trembles. Your eyes are red and strained and you weep as you grab for my hand. People around us begin to stare, but my sole focus is on you. I suppose it always has been. You begin a long soliloquy of apology, that at times is so incoherent and sincere, I can only help but think that this has eaten away at you for as long as it has me. So I don’t chide you for abandoning me, I simply smile and say, “I Forgive You.”

 As we catch up, it seems our friendship is a marker in time for you much like it is for me. There was before you, you, and after you. Your “after you” is dark – things have been much harder for you for the past six years than they have for me. One unplanned pregnancy, another planned pregnancy, multiple lost jobs, government assistance, an alcoholic partner, and death threats galore. It is hard to imagine the young bohemian that I once knew has achieved such a disappointing life. You never finished college and you work as a PSA in a hospital. You mentioned repeatedly how tired you are, and I see you: it’s a spiritual exhaustion that knows no bounds. It is the type of exhaustion that one can only feel when they have done nothing that they set out to do in life. I am familiar.

 I often take your hand in mine. We talk until the Panera closes, and then promise to meet again soon.

[bossyohan]

Seungyoun; Enemies-To Friends-To Lovers (au.)

You and Seungyoun always admired each other

Both having your majors in music and in production/composing, you had a lot of the same classes together

You somehow ended up being in the same classes that were unrelated to your majors also, which meant seeing each other maybe 90% of the time on campus

And the other 10% would be off-campus, when you’d try to find different spots to get your creative flow going

Whether it be the coffee shop, a bench in the park, etc.

You’d think that you were on a first-name basis with him at least, but no

He didn’t acknowledge you at all during these times

And when you all had to share your work in class, there would always be positive feedback from all of the students except for Seungyoun

So you decided not to acknowledge him either

But you do have ears, and it’s clear to you that he’s something of a master at composing

Instrumentals, lyrics, the whole thing

And that makes you a bit insecure, which only makes you try harder with your music

And it makes h i m insecure when he hears how effortlessly brilliant your works sound

So this silent battle of “who is better?” plays out for the whole first semester, and you both excel and succeed on just about the same level

But for the next semester, something changed in the way the class works

Your professor assigned each student a partner to create something together as a final project.

And what were the chances that you and seungyoun got paired together? 100%, apparently

For a while, Seungyoun still didn’t speak to you, so you continued to ignore him also, too stubborn to be the first one

Three weeks passed, and you still had some time to get the project done, but you both still didn’t interact

Until you got a message one day from one of your friends (Yohan)

“Wow, why is Seungyoun asking me for your phone number ☺️”

And for a moment, you forgot that those two had been friends for a while, but he clearly knew the situation between you two

“Probably because we have a project to do?”

“probably? hm.”

“Just give him my number and be quiet.”

“Don’t think I forgot about you saying you have a crush on this ‘kinda rude guy in my class’ y/n” he replied, which you ignored

And a few minutes later, you get a text from an “unknown” number asking to meet you at the campus library

So you start walking to the library, but suddenly start to feel anxious about meeting with him

He’d never spoken to you before this, so you don’t really know how or what to say either

Once you get there, you scan the tables briefly to see him facing his Mac, messing around with a few things on garage band

You walk over and sit in front of him, hoping he notices

And he does, immediately taking off his headphones and looking back at you

There’s a few moments of silence that gets a bit awkward before he asks you

“So…what do you wanna do?”

You shrug, replying with “I don’t know, what do you wanna do?”

And more silence follows

“Well…we can pick a theme first. Do we want light, dark, theatrical, poppy…” he says

“I’m not sure…we have the option to make it into a song instead of just instrumentals too. I know that you sing, so did you want to do that, or?”

“Only if you want to sing too”

“I’m not that great at singing though…” you say, getting embarrassed at just the thought of the attempts you made in the past

“I think your voice is good” he says, now changing your embarrassment into bashfulness

And then, confusion

“When did you hear me sing?” you asked him

He kinda froze, looking straight at you as the words cranked out of his brain and through his mouth

“Just a few times when I’d go to the production room when you were already in there.”

You just nod, trying not to think any more about it

“Well, I guess we can make it a song then. I don’t mind singing.” He said, changing the subject

“Great, so now we pick a theme”

And the theme you pick is dark

Not necessarily dark as in “scary or sad”, but the tempo or energy isn’t as fast paced as most songs are

You want the song to convey a different feeling to everyone

So slowly, but surely, you both collaborate

He suggested using elements from a project that you did in the previous semester, which surprised you that he remembered it at all, being as he seemed uninterested in your presentations

And you recommended to mix your instrumentals together to lead into the chorus, merging your sounds for a major part

Seungyoun excitedly works on it, smiling back at you as it played out exactly the way you two wanted

You mark that as the first time he genuinely smiled at you, making your heart flutter at how cute he looked when he did

Then you think about how he looks when he’s working, lips pouty and cheeks puffed, being cute once again

And then you decide to stop yourself from crushing on him, when the only things you two had ever talked about was about the project

“now really isn’t the time” you think to yourself, shaking your head to focus on what your next steps in the project were gonna be

You’re a few weeks in now, but you two may have gotten carried away

The song was almost done now that he had the lyrics placed perfectly with the instrumentals (after a lot of changes, of course)

So you recommended taking a little break to catch up/focus on your other classes for a while more, which he agreed on

You suggested this mainly to keep your feelings at bay, upset about how you let your heart overpower your mind

Though you two never spoke in the past, he did pay a lot of attention to you, remembering your past work, bringing you your favorite coffee drink when you two were working because he remembered what you had gotten the last time, and a lot more

But you knew that it was absolutely platonic, and that made you a little sad

Yet, you accepted it and carried on

You thought that Seungyoun would’ve actually accepted the break with the project, but he still asked you to meet with him one night at the cafe

And you wanted to say that you were busy, but you clearly would’ve been lying since you caught up on your homework for astronomy already

You expected to find him there with his MacBook open and headphones on, but instead, he was just at a table, surface bare, typing away on his phone

Your face must’ve shown your major confusion, because when he looked up, he asked if you were okay

Nodding, you sat down, unknowingly tapping your foot out of anxiousness

“Where’s your computer?” You asked him

“I left it in my dorm room. We were taking a break, right?” He asked, just as confused as you were

“Oh…I thought you asked me to meet you here to work on the project…” you answered

He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck before smiling at you

“I should have said it in the text, but I was just hungry and thought you would’ve wanted something here too. I doubt you ate today. Yohan mentioned you forget to eat sometimes”

And it was true, you did forget to eat dinner, but you wondered why Yohan talked about you to him

Then you realized that Seungyoun asked you here just on friendly terms, finally settling the internal dispute you had of “are we friends or just co-workers?”

So you both ordered, and he payed

And you talked about things other than music, like how you both met Yohan at the most inconvenient but perfect moments, the pets you’ve had, and the infamous “is water wet” question

The conversations lasted for a good hour before you realized that you two were the only ones left and that they’d close the cafe soon

Not wanting to be nuisances, you both left before they closed and just walked back to the dormitories

You didn’t have much else to say until he broke the silence one again

“I’m glad we got paired together. If we didn’t, I’d think you’d still hate me” he said with a sad laugh

You turned to him in shock, immediately saying

“I never hated you! I thought you hated me up until maybe two weeks ago?”

“Two weeks ago? Why?”

“You never reacted to my presentations”

“Neither did you!”

“You also never talked to me in any of the classes we had together”

“Yeah, because you never talked to me”

“Wow…we’re the worst at communicating, huh”

He just laughed at the situation

“I was too scared to react to your compositions. I felt like if I gave any comment or critique, then you’d ruin my life when I presented” he told you

“Are you kidding me? Do you really think that your songs weren’t good? I always dreaded presenting after you because I knew you’d have something amazing. Everyone in the class loved what you made, you know that?” You said, projecting your feelings towards him and his music into “everyone”.

He smiled bigger this time, thanking you quietly for saying so

“Well, knowing that you don’t actually never hated me makes me feel even better than knowing the rest of the class likes my work” he said

Now you were at a loss for words, smiling back at him to maybe fill in the silence with a happy gesture

Days pass by and you get texts here and there from Seugyoun that range from

“Do you think you can help me study for *insert subject here*?”

To

“I really think that giving the ducks on campus bread to eat isn’t good for them”

And you end up being with him a lot, even if it’s unintentional

It got to the point where Yohan made a group chat with the two of you and named it “traitors” since you often forget to ask him to hang out with you both

“Yohan, you’re in class right now”

“Okay, but I could’ve skipped to go and have lunch with you both”

Your relationship with Seungyoun grew really strong super fast, and you’ve somehow managed to keep down the feelings you were having for him before

You thought that being his friend was more that perfect at the moment

Even at the points where you were both stressed, he managed to boost both of your spirits that made you wonder why you were stressed in the first place

Until one incident happened

Once you two started working on the project again, everything had gone smoothly

He recorded his voice, and you edited it in with the background music.

You asked him to listen back on it, hoping he’d catch any editing mistakes you may have made

Seungyoun listened, nodding his head as he smiled at the distortions you added for a new effect.

“I really don’t have to fix anything. You did great, as always” he said, pausing the track to talk to you

Just as you were about to reply, the lights dimmed a bit in the studio.

And the systems shut down.

Seungyoun just stared at the dead screen, waiting for it to boot up, but you could tell that he was irritated

Once it fully turned back on, he immediately went to check on the file

Which wasn’t there

And so he stares blankly at the screen again, a million things going through his mind about what just happened

“I…don’t think the file saved, y/n, I’m sorry” he said sadly, clicking on different folders to see if it was maybe saved somewhere else

“What? No, it’s fine! I saved it on my drive before you put yours in, remember?” You told him as you pulled it out of your pocket

The look of relief on his face as he stood up and hugged made you laugh, glad that you thought ahead before a disaster hit

“God…why are you so great?” He asked, finally letting go of you

You just shrugged and smiled, going to put the drive back in to listen to the song again, but before you could, heard him say

“I could really kiss you right now”

And you try not to think about what he had said, but it’s obviously hard not to when the statement was as bold as it was

You just assumed that he was joking with you, because, well, he just does that sometimes

So you turned back answered with a laugh

“Yeah. The same to you”

And deep down inside, you meant that, no matter how hard you tried to ignore the scratching sensation of your true emotions dying to burst out of your heart

You thought that it would eventually go away, until you felt his hand resting on your cheek, and then his warm lips on yours

Now this was the time your own mind went blank, trying to process what was happening

And when you finally did, you didn’t waste a second to kiss back

When you broke apart, you tried evening out your breath to ask him

“If I didn’t say I wanted to kiss you too, what would you have done?”

“I would’ve asked if I could. And then you’d say yes, and I’d kiss you” he said with a serious look on his face before cracking out a laugh

And you pushed him slightly for that

“How would you have known I’d say yes?”

“I mean, when you tell people like Yohan a secret, it never stays a secret, you know?”

You just raise an eyebrow at him before realizing what he meant

“So you knew I had a crush on you this whole time? And never said or did anything about it?”

“I had to be sure! It was a while ago that he told me, I didn’t know if you were already with someone else”

“I think you would’ve know. We literally saw each other everywhere, remember?”

He just nodded and smiled

“Well. We could make up for that time now if you wanted to…date? Maybe?”

“Of course, Seungyoun”

“Woah, really?” He said, his smile a thousand times bigger now

“Yes! Did you think I’d say no?”

“I honestly didn’t think this far in” he told you, making you laugh this time

You thought for a moment before telling him

“Let’s not tell Yohan about this yet, unless you’re ready for him expecting us to thank him for ‘setting us up’”

“True. Even though he kinda did…”

“Yeah, but he’s still just getting over the fact that we became friends and forgot to invite him with us places”

“…Right. He can wait a bit”