#i made this video back in fucking march oops

[dennisboobs]

live charlie reaction

[fictionfixations]

playing the entirety of the amphoreus story in 3.0

3.0 spoilers

HIMEKO YOUR VOICE IS STILL GONE💀 dan heng is still gone too

oh damn theres an option now to edit audio settings during dialogue

wait there are other languages? no wait no duh isnt there like a Synesthesia Beacon which translates words

is it possible to play without sunday on the express? like if you choose to kick him out does he get kicked out or what? wonder how itd play out then without him. hm

march not joining us on amphoreus !?

OH as in an express car

AHH WE'VE BEEN HIT WTF

RIP safe zone car its on fire. actually wtf the express is now missing a car um oops

LMFAO?

not the inner voice of yes lets do it (me) being called the devil, and then he woke up before we even started LMFAO

dan heng: stay quiet

my tuskpir: *immediately makes a sound*

what the fuck are these voices what the uh chills??

i cant tell what its saying

when it switches to i assume the past where its in a good state and there are kids it laughs but when it switches to the present in a bad state theres this weird voice i cant tell what its saying

i mightve mixed that up and its the other way around cause i immediately forgot bc herta, see below

oh my god herta just jumpscared me with her idle cause ive been popping into the character screen when typing this down sob

for a second i thought they were gonna be weeping angels because i looked at them and it said we thought their pose was different and we shouldnt get too close

KEVIN or what the fuck his name is in hsr

BITCH MY BAT??? 'youve got something interesting' ???

i feel like that could be an innuendo but i also think he said that considering well. im gonna look so dumb but did bats exist back then 💀cause im assuming the bat is unique, and i mean it certainly is. its like. modern people go back in times of myths n stuff ig? am i phrasing this right???

every mention of the abyss i just stare like. .....genshin?

YOU DID WHAT TO MY BAT?

'we're all humans here' *stares at dan heng* *stares at me in what the fuck am i do i count as a human 💀i was just like made into existence is that human??*

we in bold? huh so tribbie is plural pronouns ?

from what now? sorry that sounds like nonsense to me. ill get used to it in time but with everything so new it sounds like gibberish 😭

wait did he break dan hengs spear or something? i need to rewatch the cutscene 😭

??? is that old man the annoying old man in like the legends of amphoreus video?? who like kept being negative about the chrysos heirs

actually how the fuck is dan heng fighting without a weapon is he like pulling out the magic stuff he does when hes imbititor lunae i forgot what its called

...cloudhymn ?? idk man i forget shit

CONSTELLATIONS? sorry i read that i think orv

WHAT JUST HAPPENED

also DAN HENG CAN REFORM HIS SPEAR? or well not actually its like hes holding his spear but its green

YEAH its cloudhymn

...how do we know this?

what was that?

'humanity is so doomed' usually id choose the meme-y non serious options but this is serious and i dont wanna offend phainon

so the other chrysos heirs dont discriminate with who they attack whether friend or foe?

huh..

i accidentally skipped past his line 💀

'minions of strife,' and then i missed the rest

whose De?

ah. Mydei. the guy who when i see i kinda end up thinking of cyyu tbh 😭 i know he doesnt voice him its rlly i think just the look of the guy

apparently this is blonde guy tho? the name during the battle when he spoke

comment on strange name so

phainon kinda sounds like fight on

mydei kinda sounds like mighty

idk about the the the tribbies. i know thats not their name only one of them is named tribbie but i forgot okay 😭

another bold..

isnt she the person who kills people by touch or something? interesting this butterfly effect appears when you get close to her. when you get super close the game forces you to walk and you cant get so close as to touch her model

what are these sounds i have no idea what the voices are saying but whats the sound..? it sounds kind of like crunching

boss already?

the herta so strong i can actually understand how it feels when people have strong teams fighting enemies. ..or maybe its just how it feels when i actually give a character their signature lightcone cause before this i only had the ones for the standard characters 💀

sorry i wasnt paying attention to nikador turn into that gold dust or is that from aglaea? cause i notice the transportation thing that 'turns you into birds and transports you' has like that same gold dust

so wait is she blind or not? i genuinely cant tell if she can see or if she cant see she just perceives the world through her threads and stuff

THATS WHAT THOSE ARE? beacon of the Trailblaze...

IM FREE FROM STORY MODE

if i was free earlier i didnt notice

theres an option to stop listening and to yawn and i dont wanna know what happens if i pick those i want to actually hear this not miss anything

...the trailblazer's preference is a high cute girl voice?

'where did i stop the last time' WAIT ARE YOU THE SAME BATH SPRITE??

????

is it weird if i say i preferred the other version 😭 im so disappointed it stopped me. like yeah the voice was speaking slowly but i preferred how it described things

close my eyes? man. the last time i closed my eyes i got stabbed (by sleepie. ..his name was sleepie right??)

ah so like wonder woman's lasso of truth? i think it was called that?

hm

what happens if you get all the coreflames? take their authority for ourselves or something she said. does that mean we take down a titan, we get their power? whose to say we wont do something bad with it?

that..

curious that they're using march. i wonder if it means anything

..what happens when you do? will you go mad?

i was walking around wandering and then i just see phainon and jumped LMFAO like i didnt expect him

i mean he did say he was gonna be here but i just forgot

...is the Rosy Celestial Maiden March 7th..?

oh i thought she appeared but no its cause that guy saw the photos LMFAO

WAIT IS HE IN THE HERO'S BATH? DUDE YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO BE UP THERE

MY CHEST JUST GOT STOLEN

it just occurred to me that we're completely cut off from the express

im like.. an hour late into that realization but like oh yeah we cant talk to them or go back

me when im losing the ability to understand what is happening in cutscenes because they lag me

so anyway sure okay

so if i lie im gonna get executed

so like what if i lie though

maybe we'll get like another joke ending but i dont wanna test it im trying not to do meme or non serious answers

..what? im not lying i dont want to hurt them

but also for all i know they could turn out to be evil or something. or block our path or get mind controlled i dont know.

fuck

i didnt mean to be dishonest my bad aglaea haduidhawuhf

WHAT SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO DO ANOTHER 'LIE' IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW I WAS DEFLECTING BY ASKING A QUESTION I WAS JUST CONFUSED AND THE OTHER RESPONSES DIDNT SEEM LIKE THE RIGHT ANSWER?? AGLAEA MY BAD IM SO SORRY

thats only 2 lies not 3 so im safe but oh god i did not mean to fuck up this bad

😭????

so wait

phainon interrupted so does that mean if we fuck up 3 times to where we would be executed phainon would still interrupt? and prob save us in that time?

also crying though imagine we died here

the express would have no way of knowing

oh god reading text this is so bad for me i usually sleep by now afhedusi oh god okay okay POWERING THROUGH

i closed my eyes for longer than a second and oh god its hitting me

i read it all

oh my god im so tired

if we join the chrysos heirs does that mean we will become a part of the prophecy and have to kill a titan and get their coreflame ??????

or is it less that we're becoming one of you guys but helping you guys with the prophecy and you already have all the people who are meant to be a part of the prophecy you just kinda need help cause like we're fighting gods basically

the idea is that theyre chosen when caught in dire circumstances and bestows miracles upon them....

its not confirmed just the only speculation that seems reliable enough

wait we can choose to leave ???

..................no thanks i dont wanna test it what

also im warning you that while i did read the thing i dont remember everyone whose coreflame has been taken

and i dont recognize their symbols

but its the one with the holy candle? the dude over earth i think? or some sort of creating thing and super kind and made like the dromas(?) hes down

i think the one of beauty is down too

and i cant remember okay memorizing whose been taken down already is hard enough with blocks of text describing each one in detail like om

okay its Zagreus of Trickery, Georios of Earth, Phagousa of Ocean, Mnestia of Romance (taken by Aglaea), Janus of Passage (taken by Tribbie, Trianne, and Trinnon), Talanton of Law

iforgot the full name of tribbie it was mentioned at the beginning but my dumbass forgot

also one of them has the form of a sky bird i forgot who but i just read it and was like. isnt there a sky bird in s-classes that i raised that yoojins goal is finding or some shit

sorry i like just read a chapter of it today. or well yesterday.

me when i eepy how many hours hasit been

its been 20 hours (in the story i mean)

its been 3 hours irl though. i should have 2 hours left if its all super long story

OH WAIT WE'RE GOING AFTER THEM NOW i thought he was gonna be like a big bad that takes a few patches

though in that case considering every patch will include story.. so does that mean every patch we're gonna go after a titan? and then the 7th where we have all coreflames... hm.

i just realized ive been calling nikador he. ??? is he a he? idk man i was thinking of nikador as a he but also all the titans have been they so like. im. so fucking tired but its just coming naturally to call nikador he so like fhsiufh. if i mispronoun nikador earlier my bad ?? its so late

you can fight the thief????

his full name is Mydeimos???

newbie Little Gray... i will cherish this nickname

MYDEI IS THE CROWN PRINCE???

'trianne has sacrificed a lot for amphoreus' i wonder..

cause so the old guy didnt recognize her because she was so small right? so that implies she wasnt kid shaped. hm.

evo..ccultism..?

sorry imw hat teh fuck

i just solved a puzzle and i get hit with a wall of text what the fucki cant i dont

i dont have the capacity to understand this so i cant bother im

i know i made an exception for reading about the titans but thats iimportant lore stuff this is.. not so important

im so sorry phainon i keep cutting you off i dont mean to you just talk slower then i can run 💀

also you were saying shit and i was trying to pick up an item but i accidentally interacted with something else and started new dialogue whoops thats my bad i just need to like stop doing anything when you talk but before this you always talked short enough that i could reach where i needed to go by the time you finished and it wouldve been fine

😭😭😭😭

what the fuck was that??? did. did it just roll down a ball and crush another enemy what the

LMFAO i rewinded the ball and it hit an enemy and i got the rewards

hah who needs acheron when i have a fucking BALL

oh wait am i actually supposed to be fighting to win the competition

did phainon just use they/them pronouns on us ?? he was like i already forgot the line cause mydei was talking and i got distracted but it was something like the baseballer shows no mercy to their enemies ???

i regret not opening the chest before taking the photo its so tempting

the chest was there in the photo

its there in dialogue

please free me from these text boxes and let me open such treausre...

i feel like im going insane wtf am i talking about now 😭

i

them: lets decide who does the final blow by a competition

and phainon is the one meant to do it right and like take the coreflame and shit so like

..fuck guess im gonna be fighting every single enemy i encounter

then it turns out IT DOESNT EVEN MATTER????

theyre just like actually lets not decide it by a competition lets just do it together

dude im so

im. so tired.

oh my god MORE TEXT im so sorry this probably sounds so annoying tos oemoen reading thi sbut oh my im. so tired. but its important to the story...

am i making any progress at all...? am i getting any closer to facing nikador...?

i feel like im not getting anywhere its dragging on and its probably fine normally im just sat here like dude please end already im tired

FINALLY IM AT NIKADOR

im so fucking lost what the help

ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME

IT ONLY ACTIVATES WHAT I NEED TO PASS WHEN I INTERACT WITH THE DOOR THAT CLEARLY CANT BE OPENED IM

going to explode

...pancakes with mind

AAAAAAAAAAA

'should be smooth sailing from here' I WILL HOLD YOU TO THOSE WORDS PHAINON AND IF YOU TURN OUT TO BE A LIAR I WILL

BE VERY VERY CROSS

another puzzle.. aa....

something that has more weight than the fate of amphoreus...

is march 7th's camera

LMFAO no its the companions we've traveled with that are most important and thus have more weight then the fate of amphoreus.

LMFAO DID WE JUST TAKE A PHOTO

....mother...?

WHAT

WHAT??????

WHOSE MOTHER

remembrance?

"Is that you... Is that you? Mother... encountered you. She misses you..."

"Follow me... Please follow me. I see you... She also misses you. We want to see everything about you."

???

my.. past?

oh my god

OH MY GOD

STELLARON HUNTERS????????

CAUSE CAUSE WE SAW THEM ON THE TRAIN IN THE TRAILER OR SOMETHING I FORGET

wait how come only blade has a voice what

he didnt speak earlier though

what

three of a kind, two pair, ace

? xianzhou something? i dont recognize it

silver wolf is voiced too?

freezing? ice..?

like. march?

what

just happened?

a full team of just story characters? has that happened before?

blade, kafka, rememberance tb, and firefly.

..i wish kafka was voiced here.

anyway i chose her. i like firefly but kafka has like special importance to the trailblazer story wise considering they know each other somehow. and she technically kind of made tb? or recreated tb? i

i dont really know man

....more blocks of text...

how many hours has it eben holy shit jimgdfji

sorry i havent said anything for awhile im in that state where i just want to get through it now

anyway time travel yay

something happened in the cutscene and i literally have no idea what because it was lagging so bad. joy.

its at like herta now and im just

it has to almost be over right

i would like to sleep now

i feel a little bad not paying full attention to what shes saying but also. bruh. im. gonna be rereading it anyway when i see other people go through this

....ELYSIA???

MARCH??

OH MY GOD IM FINALLY DONE HOLY SHIT

i need to get up in like 2 hours 😭😭😭😭

....THIS WAS SEVEN HOURS????

[turoce]

Seana’s 2022 art highlights (a thread)

(Note: this is a reupload of a thread i did on twitter a few years back. so these are really old. don't worry, this is the final reupload.)

this thread, unlike the previous 3 art threads, will be full of holes. this is because i haven’t drawn shit this year, mostly introspect. and gaming. tf2 has done horrors to my schedule.

January: I didn’t draw anything. Skip. well, nothing of SHOWING, anyways. i scribbled, but they’re horseshit and that’s all you should know about them.

February: Charlie’s family, ft Mia. i drew the left picture for the comic but i’m gonna be honest... i don’t, like the poses that much. posing has been a big weakness for me, for a long time, and the limited bends in objects kinda highlight that.

March: redraw of an old traditional drawing. i don’t think i liked this one either. unsatisfied. there’s been a pattern for this year. also [there's] a commission, that’s been asked for since January. i wish i didn’t take that long. i’m still very sorry to my commissioner.

April: Portal phase. my commission money was spent on the Orange Box... because i didn’t know Portal 2 wasn’t on the Orange Box. oops. my friend bought Portal 2 for me. i’m really thankful for them.

[note: hey! some of these i've actually posted on tumblr... lemme link those posts.] [post 2] [post 3]

May: strangely, i drew Cutter Knife a lot? i like him, wish i had time and motivation to work on the comic, but i fucked with myself by hastily releasing it when i still didn’t know everything about them.

June: didn’t have much drawing opportunities, due to finals and the vacation to America that followed. i did draw these 2 things tho, and i think these are the pieces i’m very satisfied with.

July: probably the last month of this year that i ever worked hard on. i had online writing classes, which means i just tuned the video as background noise while i tried out some stuff. it was the best month i ever had. oh, btw, trad art from May~August is mostly lost because my main phone was broken for that time and i was forced to use my older phone. they still exist, just not saved onto my device.

August: made during the writing class. i’m not very happy with this, but i was trying to do something. maybe the fact i didn’t have a clear vision of WHAT, was blocking me from what i wanted to do.

oh, there are these things too. hi guys, hope sunlight wasn’t too dear to you.

September: i surprise myself more and more. i did draw characters a lot! but that wasn’t what i wanted for this whole year. i wanted to draw cartoons. characters living. talking. i just captured their souls behind a dead, white, background. [note: ?]

October: my persona. the new one. [art 1]

i realize, i’m not posting my trad drawings. there isn’t much to post. here are some from random points of the year, though.

November: i start drawing things about tf2. and i’m still going strong, thanks. (ft. Dicey Dungeons)

[art 1+2] [art 3]

December: as i said, nothing much. stepped away from coloring to focus more on the shape. coloring exhausts me.

[post 1] [post 2]

*looks at past threads* oh, right, i still need to do my retrospective.... something, things. i planned a lot this year. but i just kinda ended up... burned out. school has been a big factor, but it’s been partially my fault for just doomscrolling on twitter, not doing things. partially?? no, this is entirely your fault, mister. anyways, i hope i can just... do things again. draw. not feel like i need to do something groundbreaking for each piece. i think i’ll focus on quantity over quality, for next year.

[note: this post ends by saying "hopefully this site lasts for me to do a 2023 art retrospective thread"... hah, well, funny thing is...]

[clexaweekofficial]

Here are the themes that won for the upcoming Clexaweek23! If you would like to participate, just create something (write a fic, draw some art, make a moodboard, a video edit, you name it!) that somehow involves that particular theme. Whether you create or not, please participate by supporting each other! :) Reblog posts instead of just liking, and leave nice comments on content! 

Day 1: Monday, February 27th - Childhood Friends

Clarke and Lexa were friends as children! Example: maybe Clarke and Lexa have been glued at the hip since they were five years old. They went to school together, then college, and now they have an apartment together. They don’t really understand why everyone assumes they’re dating; or why they seem to get so jealous when the other person IS dating. Maybe Clexa were best friends in elementary school, until Lexa moved away. Now they’re in their thirties, Clarke is a divorced single mother, and she’s shocked when she realized that her kid’s teacher is none other than her childhood best friend. Maybe Lexa had a very difficult childhood and Clarke was the first friend she ever made, until Lexa was forced to move away; years later, they meet again in a support group, both having lost their partners. Maybe they were best friends until a falling out in middle school; awkward moment when they realize they’re roommates!

Day 2: Tuesday, February 28th - Secret Relationship

Lexa and Clarke in a secret relationship with each other. Examples: Are Clexa rivals in public but besotted behind closed doors? Is Clarke secretly dating her best friend’s sister which is totally off-limits? Is Lexa hiding the fact that she’s been dating her ex’s ex? Is Clarke secretly dating her best friend’s worst enemy? 

Day 3: Wednesday, March 1st - Fake Dating

The opposite of day 2! Clarke and Lexa are pretending to date. Examples: Maybe Lexa desperately needs a date to bring home for the holidays to get her mom off her back, so who better to ask than the cute girl she keeps running into at her favorite coffee shop? Maybe Clarke needs some temporary arm-candy to make an ex jealous! Maybe Clarke is trying to impress a boss who seems to only want to hang outside of work with a couples’ date, so she convinces Lexa to pretend to be her girlfriend and come out to dinner with her unbearable boss because she REALLY needs that promotion! 

Day 4: Thursday, March 2nd - Accidents Happen!

I put together Accidental Kiss and Accidental marriage/relationship since they’re so close together. Bottom line is Clexa accidentally do SOMETHING. Maybe they’re rivals on the same sports team and are so swept up in the euphoria of their win that they kiss right there on the field! Or maybe they’re strangers who wake up in Vegas and are horrified to realize they’re married. Maybe Lexa’s wife left her at the alter because she claims Lexa will never love her as much as she loves someone else. A devastated Lexa has no idea what she means, but she already paid for the honeymoon so why not take her best friend Clarke with her? Except oops, in the morning they wake up hungover and naked and the ring Lexa had bought Costia is on Clarke’s finger. Maybe Clexa are just fuck buddies, friends with benefits - except one day they realize oops, it’s been ten months and I have my own drawer space at your place and my own toothbrush and shit are we dating, are we living together??

Day 5: Friday, March 3rd - Friends or foes?

Both Enemies to Lovers and Friends to Lovers tied, so what does that mean? We do both! You can choose to use one of these, or do both! Examples: Maybe Lexa HATES her neighbor Clarke, who always seems to wake her up in the middle of the night because she apparently can’t paint without listening to music. Maybe Clarke is Lexa’s best friend Clarke HATES her neighbor that always seems to throw rowdy parties, and she lets her know that (and later, makes the horrifying discovery that this woman, Lexa, is not even the actual neighbor; it’s Lexa’s sister, Anya). Maybe Clarke and Lexa are work friends until Lexa’s given a promotion that Clarke deserved, and now she hates her. Maybe they’re allies in a war until Lexa takes a deal and leaves Clarke to dry. Maybe Lexa hates Clarke, who broke her best friend’s heart - except then she realize Clarke is actually super nice and they’re friends now and maaaaybe Lexa looks at her lips too much.

Day 6: Saturday, March 4th - Workplace Romance

Clexa at work! Examples: Are they rival farmers? Are they firefighters who can’t keep their cool around each other? Do they both contribute at the local farmer’s market and their stalls are right next to each other but they’re both too useless to actually make a move? Does Clarke get hired to paint a mural in Lexa’s cafe? Is Clarke an ER doctor and Lexa the cute EMT that picks terrible times to flirt with her? Are they coworkers at some company kept vague bc all we’re focusing on is the opportunities that await us once all the items have been swept off the desk? 

Day 7: Sunday, March 5th - Free Day

For free day, you can do anything you want. You can choose a theme that didn’t win. You can even use it as an Update Your WIP day!

—

Here are the guidelines for participating.

I posted this on November 11th; we have exactly 3 months and 17 days until Clexaweek23! :) 

So excited to see all the new creations! Leida!

[crescentmoonrider]

I posted 2,865 times in 2022

That's 147 more posts than 2021!

105 posts created (4%)

2,760 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pikarasaaa

@duesternis

@dabiden

@proximally

I tagged 2,029 of my posts in 2022

Only 29% of my posts had no tags

#jujutsu kaisen - 209 posts

#pokemon - 144 posts

#video - 121 posts

#long post - 80 posts

#homestuck - 59 posts

#mob psycho 100 - 58 posts

#gif - 57 posts

#dracula - 51 posts

#clothes - 51 posts

#history - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#(slams the table) give me back my hours of pmd i didnt mean to load that save file i didnt even mean to have a save state my finger slipped

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

it’s been..... 3 years......... oops ?

for the luckily unaware, i first posted about this AU back in 2019 for the kakaobi week, said “someone remind me to make a post with like, more details about this AU” and then promptly forgot about it

anyway uh, Root AU !

basically, Obito is found by Root, Orochimaru is brought in to experiment on his body with some HashiraDNA™ (it’s not like Obito would survive otherwise, so no consequences if things turn out badly Again) and surprisingly the graft takes

so now Danzo has a new tool, Orochimaru has a long-term pet project and some reassurance that his HashiraDNA™ experiments could work, and Obito is Going Through It

his new body is super fucked up. not only is he now a weird amalgamation of cells that only fit together thanks to seals engraved inside his skin (? or whatever the equivalent of skin is for half-tree-half-man limbs), but the rest of his body is Also covered in seals to guarantee obedience, silence, not bringing harm to Root or Danzo, not revealing his original identity, not killing himself... but also some of them are responsible for keeping him alive, so it’s a mixed bag

his new name is Kinoko, in katakana. because i thought it was funny to call him mushroom and/or tree child, even though it doesn’t fit the pattern of Root names. also it’s just fucked up enough that Orochimaru would like it i think, so we’ll just say he’s the one who chose that name

so that’s the origins of Kinoko

because his old self has been buried by Root training, seals, and trauma, his feelings relative to Kakashi and Rin are pretty different from canon, in that while he witnessed Rin’s death through the shared sharingan connection with Kakashi (which led to the discovery of said connection and the implementation of some news seals inside Obito/Kinoko’s eye socket to make sure nothing from his side goes to Kakashi) and it awakened his mangekyou, he doesn’t keep a grudge. Rin’s death becomes just one more fucked up Root thing in his mind

unlike Kinoe, whose mastery of mokuton is used to great avail with complex buildings and structures, Kinoko’s version of it is incomplete and entirely tied to his body. on the one hand, this limits his range a lot, but on the other he doesn’t require hand signs and thus can launch very efficient surprise attacks

by the time Team 7 is established, Kinoko is assigned to watch over them and make sure nothing goes wrong with either the 9 Tails or the last living Uchiha who isn’t an abomination of nature

while he cannot reveal his identity, nothing in his programming forbids him from being accidentally spotted by Kakashi, which accidentally happens. accidentally

yeah Kinoko is kinda tired of Danzo’s shit, turns out, and would very much like some freedom

51 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

#4

This is true love.

just had to draw the queerest straight couples in jjk on a double date

Hakari and Kirara have such t4t swag... and of course there’s wifeguy and monsterfucker supreme Yuuta and whatever he’s got going on with Rika

in both cases : relationship goals, albeit in a very different way /o\

51 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

#3

my good buddy @b4kuch1n has been doing dress-designing streams these days, and made me want to flex my fashion muscles myself a bit

also, yknow

yuuta in a cute dress good

67 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

#2

See the full post

127 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

ino is just so shaped, i love him

228 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[holidaywishes]

i wanna play, too

  Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: Could you maybe make a fic where Freddie catches/watches the reader pleasure herself 👀 idk I’m kinda in the mood for a kinky Freddie

  Warning: smut, language

  Author’s Note: This was was written quickly so it might be a bit messy but let’s get a little kinky on Tumblr this Friday night. It’s nothing groundbreaking or new but it was fun to write so I hope you enjoy!

  PS: If I were to ever do a thirst night, which I might have to, I can guarantee I will use up my Prosecco to do so. Keep that in mind for maybe next month?

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

  The Leafs were on the end of a two week road trip and you were getting increasingly agitated; effectively using up your Rabbit until the batteries gave out.

  “When are you coming home?” you whined over the phone to your boyfriend of 2 years

  “We’re just boarding the plane now. Should be home in about an hour or 2” he replied

  “Can you do me a favour?” you asked, petting the soft fur of the mink throw blanket at the end of your couch

  “Anything, babe. What’s up?” he said, his voice perking up at your request

  “Send me something.”

  "Of what?”

  “You.” You said simply, smiling to yourself

  “Like... a selfie?” he asked and you could only roll your eyes at his remark

  “No, baby...” you scoffed, still fidgeting with the blanket before deciding to tease him a little bit, “I’ve watched all the usual things, listened to all the usual audios, but it’s not doing anything for me anymore. I miss you and I want you to help me.. play”

  “Play?” he whispered

  “Yeah”

  “You don’t want to just.. wait. So you can play with me?” he whispered

  “I can’t wait that long...” you smirked to yourself, “I need it now”

  “I don’t have anything right now, babe...” he replied quietly and you could tell he had found a corner to curl himself in, “can I just send something old?”

  “No!” you pouted, “I want a video. I want to hear you saying you want to fuck me and see your hands stroking your hard cock while I slowly touch myself so I’m ready for you when you get home”

  “I would love to, baby,” he sighed, “but I can’t... there’s no privacy here...”

  “Please?” you teased and he growled for a minute before finally agreeing. You waited patiently for his video to come through, lighting a candle in your bedroom as you propped yourself up on some soft, feather throw pillows. You set up a playlist on your computer of your favourite Freddie moments, just in case the video he sent you wasn’t enough.

  Freddie ❤️: new message

  Your screen lit up with Freddie’s name as his video attachment came through and you grabbed your favourite, non-battery powered dildo and got comfortable. You were in for a wild ride.

xx

Freddie’s P.O.V

  You couldn’t believe she was making you do this. Here. Now. You can’t believe you agreed to do it for her, knowing your entire team was only mere feet away. But her teasing little phone voice was impossible to say no to. So there you were, in the tiny airplane bathroom, trying to film a naughty video for your girlfriend. You weren’t sure where to start, so you just... started

  “Baby, you look so good,” you whispered, hoping that no one would hear you, “fuck, Elske.” You took yourself in your hand and quietly began stroking your shaft, “I want to fuck you so hard, (Y/N), I want you to ride my cock until you cum.” Knowing that you could be caught made you reach your release much sooner than you typically would and now you were left with sending the video to your girlfriend for her to enjoy. You toyed with the idea of sending her a message along with the video, your fingers hovering over the keyboard but you just decided that sending the video was enough. So, you took a breath and hit send, cleaning up any mess you left behind

  “Thanks, babe.” She sent back and you shook your head with a smile

  “Enjoy.” Was all you could send back before you opened the door where you were met face-to-face with Spez.

  “Hey, Fred.” He smiled and your heart began to race thinking he might now what just went on, “you good?”

  “Yep,” you replied, “all good.” You snuck past him and found your seat, sighing deeply as the plane continued on its journey.

xx

  When you got Freddie’s video, you giddily pressed play and shifted down onto the mattress as the first whispers made their way to your ear

  “Baby, you look so good” his voice was low and you could tell he was trying his best not to get caught. You let your hand wander down your body, caressing your breasts gently to peak your nipples before you rubbed the glass dildo across your clit and down your folds as you listened to the slight moaning coming from the video, “fuck, Elske,” he whispered, finally taking himself in his hand and pumping his shaft slowly, your hand mimicking his action by pushing the toy inside you, moaning at the sensation. “I want to fuck you so hard, (Y/N),” Freddie continued in a low growl, “I want you to ride my cock until you cum.” You pushed your dildo further inside you as you listened to Freddie’s moaning, waiting for more words to break through, “fuck baby. Fuck me” he growled once more before you heard him reach his climax and you had to sigh

  “Well shit, Freddie...” you said to yourself, turning to the playlist you’d created, starting first with the Leaf to Leaf he did with Connor nearly two years again, watching as his big hands touch different foods, craving his fingers inside you, “mmm” you moaned as you pumped your dildo deeper inside you, imagining it as Freddie’s finger. The playlist went on, playing different interviews ranging from events to post-games until the very last in the list played: a Morning Skate from March 11, 2019. It truly was the perfect video. He showed his hands often enough for you to imagine how they’d feel across your skin and the messiness of his hair caused you to delight in the memories of the many times he’d ended up that way when the two of you were in bed and the sweat that cascaded from his neck had you picturing his chest in all it’s glistening glory. You continued to pump the toy in and out of you, Freddie’s voice vibrating through the screen as moans continued to escape your throat as your entire body began to heat up. You were so invested in making yourself cum that you didn’t even hear the door open but when you heard the floor creak in the hallway, you knew Fred must be home.

xx

Freddie’s P.O.V

  You had been trying to get a hold of (Y/N) since the plane landed but she wasn’t answering so you just made your way home. When you got there, you called out to her but there was no answer but you did hear a small noise coming from the bedroom; you made your way up the stairs and finally heard the familiar sounds of your girlfriends moans. You wondered if you should just let her finish and pretend to walk back in or if you should peer in and catch her in the act, deciding, naturally, to carefully make your way toward the bedroom door. You opened the door slowly, finding her on the bed with her laptop by her side as she fucked herself with a clear toy you’d never seen before

  “Fuck” she whimpered, her back arching as she seemed to push the dildo deeper inside her. You felt your mouth fill with saliva and the blood rush to down while you continued to watch (Y/N) pleasure herself, “Fuck. Oh yeah, oh god, fuck” she moaned loudly and your hand instinctively went down to your dick, feeling it already hardened, before you swallowed the saliva that had collected in your mouth. “Fuck Freddie,” she yelled breathlessly and you wondered if she knew you were there, ‘she couldn’t know could she? she would’ve said something...’, “oh god, Freddie, fuck me...”

  “Fuck” you whispered as quietly as you could, unable to stop yourself from reaching your hand into your briefs to stroke your member as you watched her writhe in pleasure

  “Fuck, that feels so good,” her breathing was becoming more shallow, the telltale sharp inhale appearing and you knew she wouldn’t be long. “Oh shit,” she squealed, “fu-uh-ck.” When she finally came, you realized that you had, at some point, swung the door completely open and you were left exposed with your hand down your pants, “well?” she laughed breathlessly, “you like what you saw?” You nodded before you could muster any words, your feet dragging your across the floor toward (Y/N) as she gave you a smirk

  “Yeah,” you finally said, shutting her computer while you crawled over her to whisper in her ear, “I wanna play, too...”

  “You do?” she laughed

  “I do,” you smirked, taking the dildo away and moving it to the nightstand, only to hear it fall to the floor, “oops”

  “Leave it,” she smiled, pulling your shirt quickly over your head, “I want the real thing.” 

[redhawtriot]

Caught in the Act (Bakugou x Reader)

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

So… this is technically like half of the request but I had way too many ideas for this (and its already long as hell. oops). I’m only doing one Bakugou cheating scenario on this page so go big or go home, right?

I also saw that this blog  that I made like two weeks ago has like 100 of you guys following it wtf?! So to celebrate, I’m making my first actual series an interactive one! The following chapters will be very short (besides this one, she thicc), but each will have a question at the end that will determine the events of the next chapter! I made an account on OpinionStage where you guys can vote on through Tumblr, so hopefully at least one of you is excited.

Part two (the other half of this request) is where this fun will begin, so stay whelmed.

Fuck this site for making me repost this :)

Love you guys

HnM💕

Warning: Don’t read this to your fucking kids

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Essentially, your girls night for the week had been, in lack of better words, a shit show.

The brisk, fall air pierced your skin, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to wrap your arms around yourself for warmth. You didn’t even want to touch your sticky filth.

You just wanted to run home to your Bakugou– he was all the warmth that you needed and more. More than anything, you wanted to forget about the foul man that had assaulted you at your now ex-favorite club.

A frown momentarily sneaked its way onto your face to corrupt the brave expression you had held in front of your girlfriends,

“Hey” you had raised your hands to halt your friend, “Don’t do something ridiculous! I promise I’m alright, Jirou!” You had begged her when she had prepared to fight the man as he grabbed your arms. You had already politely asked him to back away from you after he tried to grind himself against you. He called it dancing—you called it sexual harassment.

The nightclub security had already been watching this man and immediately closed in on him to escort him out of the club as soon as he moved in towards you. But it must not have been fast enough.

Everything happened so rapidly that you could barely blink in time before you were drenched in a sticky liquid. Still, you kept a calm expression on your face. Your friends’ careers as heroes depended on how calmly you acted,

“No, it’s okay! I needed to head home anyway!” you had argued with your girls after the man had thrown his drink at you. You tried to bring a smile onto your face as the slight sting of the alcohol penetrated your eyes, “Bakugou will pick me up,” you blinked heavily.

Of course he wouldn’t pick you up in front of the club.

No, that would just be a disaster waiting to happen.

He would more than likely blow the entire place up once he found out what had transpired.

However, after the fourth failed attempt at calling Bakugou, you had given up. It was honestly a stretch anyway. He barely made it past nine o’ clock most nights, and it was well on its way to midnight. You could see your breath as you gave off a heavy sigh, but you never faltered in your steps.

You just wanted to go home to your man, clean your pathetic ass in a hot shower, and forget other men existed in this world.

You groaned to yourself as you remembered how late your guys’ roommate, Kirishima, would stay up in the front living room playing video games—the same front living room you would have to sneak past to make your way to the sanctuary of your shower.  

You opened the front door as quietly as you could and prodded your, matted, liquor-contaminated head into the threshold of your home. You probably looked like a wild animal as you scrunched your eyebrows and stared at the dark living room for a while before finally building up the courage to tiptoe towards your bathroom.

You didn’t even want to go to your room in fear of interrogation from a very sleepy, very pissed off Bakugou.

Better not poke the bear. Better just wash the stink and sins away and keep it moving like nothing had happened.

Kirishima not being awake on his Xbox for once was a blessing on a normal day, but today it was truly god sent. Hell, even Bakugou not being able to pick you up might have been a blessing in disguise—or so you thought.

As soon as you turned your shower off you heard it– a steady, creaking noise.

“What the fuck?” you whispered to yourself as your face crinkled upwards in disgust. Kirishima hardly ever brought girls home, and when he did, he was as quiet as a mouse with them. In fact, you hardly even knew the women were there until the next morning when they awkwardly wobbled out of the apartment with their heads tucked down.

The pace of the creaking sped up and the smack of the headboard joined in a repetitive thudding, causing you to freeze in place.  Breathless feminine moans joined the little musical number in increasing volume for short while before they became more ‘shrieky’ in nature.

A grimace fell upon your expression, “What the fuck?” you once again mouthed. You quickly snatched your towel and wrapped it around you with haste as you tried to run from the unholy concerto that was being orchestrated in your room.

Wait.

Your room?

Your room was the room that was connected to the bathroom walls—not Kiri’s.

It was in that moment of realization that you heard the moans return, this time a gruff male voice joined the duet,

“Shit!” The moan was drawn out until it faded into a heavy, guttural groan.

You paused again as your heart dropped deeply into your chest. You stretched your hearing and waited for his voice to appear again over her constant whines, “Just like that, baby,” his voice reemerged as he groaned deeply. Your heart harshly reminded you of its existence as it lurched suddenly.

That sounded like Bakugou.

But it had to be a mistake. You rehearsed this thought repeatedly as you sped to your room as quietly as you could—your mind racing even faster than your legs. Your Bakugou was sound asleep in his bed like he was this time of night every night. He was sound asleep and stretched out on his side of the bed with the lights off and with a sock thrown over the flashing light of his work desk computer—he hated that light at night.

You faltered as your hand stuttered uncontrollably toward your door handle. Bakugou’s never even looked at another woman before. It took him years to throw even you, his current fiancé, a second glance. He would never in a million years be on the other side of this door with another woman making those ungodly sounds.

Sounds you hadn’t heard in months.

It had to be Kirishima you tried to convince yourself as you gently twisted the door handle, ‘Please god, he just went into the wrong room,’ you prayed as you threw the door open.

Every single muscle in your body froze as you ingested the sight in front of you—your heart included.

You caught the tail end of their act, and you could only watch in complete disgust as the muscles of your beloved’s back violently contracted in sweat glistened pulses.

The woman made horrified eye contact with you as she was being pinned against your grandmother’s dresser, yet she couldn’t fight the last moan that ripped itself from her, her legs spasming as Bakugou’s flesh smacked into hers for a final time.

He desperately pressed himself into her like he was trying to become her, “Fuck,” he groaned into her neck. You noticed his nails dig deeply into her raised wrists as his hips rashly stuttered to a stop, “Don’t clench around me like that, babe. Relax.” His shaky breath demanded.

The woman looked far from relaxed, “H-Hey!” she anxiously tapped his shoulder, trying to warn him of their impending doom. Her wide eyes were still fixated on your ever-growing livid ones.

“BAKUGOU!” You screeched. The relaxed emotion that you had so desperately tried to keep plastered onto your face that night completely shattered as you angrily marched up to him and snatched the back of his hair, “You bastard!!”

As you yanked downward, he surprisingly fell to the ground, disconnecting with the other slut on trial as they both flew to the ground.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” he yelled as his body heavily thudded into the ground.

“That’s my line, you fucking jackass!” you felt your voice crack. Everything hurt. There was pressure in the back of your eyes, the front of your chest, your legs, your throat, your toes, your everything. Everything in your body felt weak under your boiling blood as if you were about to explode.

“Y-Y/N…?” you saw his trademark pissed off expression drop to an unfamiliar one as his eyes finally adjust to you in the darkness of the room. It must have resided in an area between fear and sadness.

You fought the unruly emotions that threatened to take control over your body as you clenched your fist.

Fuck him. He doesn’t get to be sad.

“What?? Were you expecting someone else!?” you spat as you roughly kicked one of his nearby feet, “You probably were expecting more company, you whore,”

No response.

You dug your nails deep into the palm of your hands as if it would somehow release the excruciating pressure that you were feeling.

The woman’s meek voice suddenly broke the extreme silence you all shared, “I-I’m gonna g—”

“GO!” you angrily whipped yourself around to her before grabbing the nearest item that you could, “You dumb bitch! You’re lucky I don’t fuck you up too!” You threw the item as you cursed, not even bothering to know what it was.

It barely missed the naked girl and loudly shattered against one of your walls as she scurried towards the door. You went to reach for another object from your grandmothers’ dresser, promising that you wouldn’t miss this time, but you froze as you found yourself in the mirror connected to the dresser.

You hadn’t realized in your rage that you were crying until you saw your tear-soaked face in the dark reflection. You tried so hard to keep yourself together. You prided yourself on being level-headed in stressful situations, but you were far from level-headed. You were conceited to ever even try to take on that persona.

As you looked at yourself in the mirror, you could only lament about how pathetic you looked—how pathetic you were.

“I…I’m such an idiot!” you painfully gripped at your hair as you fell into your knees in front of the man you loved. Heavy sobs tore themselves free of your burning throat. You heaved yourself forward into your lap in a failed attempted to catch them, but it was too late.

“I don’t… know what to say.” Bakugou finally spoke up, his face completely flipped upside down from its usual tenseness.

Of course.

Out of all of the times you wanted this loud-mouthed jerk to shut up, now is when he is at a loss for words.

You couldn’t help the small laugh that fell from your lips.

“I don’t see what’s so fucking funny?” he angrily retorted, as he stumbled to make his way up. You were suddenly met with his member being swung at your eye level as you stayed crouched onto the ground. That’s when you noticed–

He didn’t even have a condom on.

He made you get tested for STDs and pregnancy before he even had sex with you with a condom.

“I don’t know where that thing has been,” He had said then. It wouldn’t be until months later when you had started birth control when he had finally decided to risk sex without latex protection. The memory jolted an unexpected emotion from you as your chest bobbed from an oncoming laugh.

“G-get out.” You laughed again, tears still steadily falling from your face. You probably looked absolutely psychotic right now, but it was like all of the emotions that you had been stifling all these years had resurfaced with a vengeance. You struggled to drag yourself to stand so that you wouldn’t have to look at his still wet dick.

You continued to laugh and cry as Bakugou stared at you, his expression becoming disgruntled from the disturbing sight,

“What the fuck is wrong wi—”

“Get. OUT!!” you angrily interrupted him as you roared into his face. He blinked spastically in response as the shock of the altercation finally began to sink into his decelerated mind.

‘F-fuck,’

His heart sank, ‘What did I just do?’ He racked his brain as he tried to remember all of the events that had taken place to lead him to this moment, but the world seemed to be spinning ferociously, shaking up and mixing the timeline of the night.

He was plucked from his thoughts as he caught a glimpse of your face in the darkness of the room.

Why were you looking at him like you hated his existence—like if you could disintegrate his body with your eyes, you would. For the first time in years, Bakugou felt hot tears tingle against the back of his eyes, “Y/N, I…” his voice became stuck in his chest as his heart gave sudden jolt, “I’m so s–”

His chest became tight as you whipped away from him and silently threw a pointed finger towards the door.

He stumbled back a few feet as if you had just thrown a physical attack his way.

After a few moments of watching you hold the same position, he noticed you had started to cry again as your rocking shoulders lurched forward.

His face fell even further into the expression of despair before he froze. He could fix this if you would just let him, dammit!

He growled in annoyance at your ignoring him before he finally thawed his body, “FINE!” he yelled at you before smacking your pointed hand out to the way so that he could stagger out of the room. He loudly slammed the door shut, leaving you alone with your deafening thoughts.

You immediately dropped back to the ground before you curled yourself up into a ball and released painful sobs.

You had absolutely no fear that he would catch you in this state. His pride would never allow him to come back after storming out like that.

However on the other side of the door, Bakugou had already turned back around. Instant guilt had created a cacophony of loud feelings in his mind. How could he have hurt you like that?

The thought caused his heart to thrum and his hands to flinch away from the door handle; however, he strengthened his resolve and firmly grasped the handle once more until suddenly–

“BAKU-BROOOOO!” Kirishima’s booming voice could be heard moments before the front door was slammed open and bounced against your living room wall, “Ya made it back alive, man! We were all worried about you after you disappeared…” he slurred as he fumbled over to his best friend like a toddler taking his first steps.

Bakugou couldn’t find it in himself to reply to the redhead as the latter threw himself at him with a hearty laugh. The laugh, however, came to an abrupt end as Kirishima stared blankly at Bakugous face, “Hey… wha’s wrong, best buddy? Holy hell, w-why are you crying?!” he loudly whispered. A loud rumble could be heard before Kirishima violently gagged, releasing the contents of his stomach.

[tuffduff]

The First Meeting (Duff McKagan x Reader)

Pairing: Late 20′s!Reader x Older!Duff McKagan

Words: 1,951 (oops)

Request: @julessworldd​ :  You don’t see enough of older!duff on here. I was wondering if you could do something where the reader is like 28-29 and Duff brings her home to meet his daughters. After dating for a while. Maybe the girls are sorta rude bc she’s still in here 20s and is the first girl he’s been with since him and Susan got a divorce.(I love their relationship so much 🥺). Thank you love 💗

A/N: Thank you for requesting babe!!! Kinda struggled with this one, don’t know how I feel about it, despite the length lol. Also, can I just say as a bi girl in her early twenties how wild it is that Duff’s daughters are also so fucking gorgeous and talented? Jeez. Anyways, listen to The Pink Slips if y’all haven’t, all my love to you guys!

Taglist: @ubernoxa​ @the--blackdahlia​ @reigns420​ @stradlin-cold-heartbreaker​

You should’ve worn the pants and blouse instead of the dress you were cooped in. Or better yet, leggings. You kept smoothing your dress down, trying to judge the distance from the hem of it to your knees. Were you going to look like you were trying too hard? Either way, you knew how was it was going to look regardless of what you wore, but maybe if you dressed more modestly...

Duff’s hand grabbing yours pulled you out of your dread. He took his eyes off the road for a second and smiled.

“Why are you worried? What is it?” You fixed your gaze straight ahead to the lines painted on the road. He always seemed to just know what you were feeling, just by looking. You would have guessed maybe you were just an open book, but no, it was only Duff that always knew. Ever since the beginning.

“Maybe we should wait a little longer.” You blurted out with no buffer, no warm-up, no nonsense. Even your voice was unsteady. Duff’s grip on your hand tightened.

“Y/N, we’ve been dating for over a year now.”

“And we could break up tomorrow.” You reasoned lightly, making Duff laugh.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” He bantered back, still a relaxed smile on his face. “I’m not going anywhere, so...” he let go of your hand to pat your thigh now. “C’mon; serious. What is it, why do you want to wait?”

“Duff, we’re so close in age. It’s...I mean, they’re automatically gonna hate me. I know I would hate me if I were in their shoes.”

“Y/N, I don’t think you realize just how easy it is to love you.” Duff mused. “Don’t get me wrong. It’s, I mean, the situation is...unique. We both know that. But my girls, we raised them to be open-minded. They just have to get to know you. They’re going to love you.” You grimaced at Duff’s assuredness.

Though you had been dating Duff officially for a little over a year, you had known each other for a few years before that, introduced by a mutual friend at a small holiday get-together. At that time, you hadn’t known Duff was newly single, you were just freaking out on the inside about having a conversation with the bassist from Guns N’ Roses and praising yourself for actually getting him to laugh. Little did you know, he genuinely liked you as a person and he wasn’t just being a fake polite celebrity interacting with someone not quite as illustrious as himself.

Since then, well, things had obviously taken off. You had even met Susan, who had split with Duff amiably and still saw each other for friendly lunches or to support their daughters. But Mae and Grace themselves? Intimidation at its peak.

Neither Mae nor Grace followed you on Instagram, they never liked pictures that Duff posted including you, and they certainly were never around backstage at Guns N’ Roses gigs if you were there. You understood from their eyes; you knew how it looked. That was just the unfortunate truth, as well as disadvantage, to being so young. Everyone thought you were just after Duff for his money or something of the sort, some kind of vanity or ticket. But it wasn’t like that; you turned Duff down several times. It wasn’t as if you weren’t interested, you were just apprehensive of dating not only an older man, but a very famous and wealthy one.

But if you weren’t going to date him for that, you weren’t going to not date him for the same reasons. And it was undeniable; you and him clicked from the very beginning. Inevitable, you could feel your heart tugging, fighting, to be with him.

You started passing more familiar houses in the neighborhood, and as you got closer, you could feel yourself sweating.

“Sweetheart, relax. Everything’s gonna be fine; you’ll be laughing by the end of the night.” You turned and looked at Duff as he parked the car in the driveway, still smiling—the yin to your terrified, panicked, yang. “Come on, breathe with me.” He coaxed you gently, and you nodded, focusing on his eyes to steady yourself before you got out of the car together.

As soon as Duff opened the front door you could feel yourself tense, as if you were expecting to get attacked from the get-go.

“Mae? Grace? You guys wanna come down and say hello to Y/N?” Duff called up the staircase. You bit your lip and again smoothed down your dress.

Mae appeared first, intimidatingly beautiful and a spitting image of her mother, dressed in a tied crop top and baggy jeans with tennis shoes. Grace was right behind her with a more obvious scowl, and to your horror, wearing leggings and a t shirt. Both girls raised their eyebrows at your dress before sharing a private look at each other that knocked your self-esteem meter down a good amount.

“Y/N, this is Mae, and this is Grace. Girls—”

“Dad, we know her; this isn’t really necessary.” Grace spoke up, refusing to look at you. Mae had her arms crossed and appeared bored.

“You’ve never met before.” Duff argued lightly. You kept your mouth shut. “And what’s with this, we’re going to dinner, remember?”

“You’ve never had an issue with the way I dressed before.” Grace argued back heatedly. “Now I have to look presentable for her?”

“No, I’m not saying that, of course I’m not saying that, honey—I would never. But Y/N put in an effort to—”

“No, no, I uh, I really didn’t know what to wear…” you blurted out, wanting to cringe as both girls turned to you for the first time. “I really should’ve gone with the leggings.”

“Do you want to change?” Duff offered. “You could borrow one of my shirts—or, you know I’m sure you could borrow one of Mae’s—”

“Dad!” Mae protested immediately.

“No! No, I’m okay.” You interjected quickly. The silence filled the room again and made a mental note that you now had a story to tell if someone ever asked what your most awkward and embarrassing moment was.

“Okay, well, dinner, yeah?” Duff asked as if there weren’t obvious tension in the air. The girls silently marched passed him towards his car and climbed in the back seat together.

“They’ll warm up at dinner,” Duff insisted to you confidently. You said nothing and remained silent as you climbed into the car.

“Who’s gonna pick the music?” Duff asked, looking back in the rearview mirror. “Grace, why don’t you show Y/N some of your stuff?”

“Why would I do that?” She muttered, staring at her phone. You swallowed a little; this was actually a topic you felt confident enough to maneuver.

“I’ve already heard some of your stuff, actually.”

“What, did my dad force you to listen to it?” Grace asked unenthusiastically.

“No. I mean, he told me you had a band, but I never listened until I heard one of your songs on this sorta underground playlist at work. I loved it, and then I realized it was you.”

“Which one?” Grace asked, her tone neutral now instead of disinterested.

“‘Texas’. I really love it. I like ‘Miles Away’ too.” There was silence and you tried to remember your words and figure out if you said something insulting.

“...Thanks. I like that one too.” She said. “We’re doing a music video for it soon.”

“Really? What kinda vibe?”

“Kinda like, road trip aesthetic. Convertible with the top down on a highway.”

“That’s so perfect, I love that.” Suddenly, somehow, you had managed to stumble your way into a conversation. Duff was smiling silently, allowing it to unfold, but you barely noticed due to the conversation.

As you pulled up outside of the restaurant you and Duff frequented, you noticed more traffic and gasped lightly at the sight of the cars filling the parking lot. “Dad, look at the line! It’s Friday night at dinner time, you know it’s always packed.” Mae complained.

“Shoot, I forgot what day it was.” Duff murmured. The line was out the door with several people waiting around out front and even more inside. He frowned, clearly unsure of what to do next, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel.

“Dad, I’m starving. I don’t feel like waiting an hour to eat dinner.” Grace added in her own disdain. For a moment, you took in the situation. Something so mundane, just with Duff and his daughters with the dilemma of trying to figure out what to eat, a little piece of his life that you were lucky enough to be a a part of. No problem, not even this, even seemed like a problem.

“Why don’t we just pick up pizza? Or burgers?” You suggested lightly. Duff turned to you and you smiled at him. “Or both?” He laughed, and that’s when you noticed you heard more than just the sound of his.

Both Grace and Mae were laughing too with smiles on their faces. “Yes! Both!” They agreed.

“Hell yeah,” Duff decided, giving you one last smile before he turned the car around.

When you finally arrived back home with your eclectic dinner assortment, you kicked off your heels immediately.

“Finally,” you muttered, not realizing the girls could hear you. Grace grinned.

“They’re cute, though.”

“You can have them.” You proposed without thinking. “I haven’t worn them in three years, I imagine it’ll be another three before I wear them again.”

“Oh, well...okay.” She said, giving you a small smile. “Thanks.” You smiled back and headed towards the kitchen where Duff was gathering utensils and napkins, a small smile on his face.

“You know, when I eat pizza I just hold it in my hand the entire time.” You joked lightly at the sight of the plates in his hand. “What?” You asked when he kept smiling.

“Thank you.” You frowned at him quizzically.

“For?”

“Earlier. Nothing ever makes you lose your cool. When I’m with you, life just feels as easy as breathing. Like it’s just supposed to be this way, you know?” You were taken aback by his words and smiled, leaning up to rest your head against his shoulder. He kissed the top of your head. “That’s why I wasn’t worried about today. It’s important to me to empower my daughters and I know once they get to know you, you’re gonna inspire them as much as you inspire me.” You let out a deep breath of appreciation, soaking in the weight of his praise, allowing yourself to feel this happiness deep to your bones.

“I hope so.” You replied. “Although, I think it’s still gonna take quite some time...” You murmured, turning to glance over your shoulder. To your surprise, the girls were already watching, whispering to each other. Mae had her phone out and smiled when she made eye contact with you.

“That height difference, though.” Mae said, heading to your side to show you the photo she had taken of you and Duff just moments prior. There was a comfort in her actions, as though she had already known you for years, watching your face and waiting for your reaction. You laughed at the picture, as did Duff, who put his arm around you and Mae both.

“I’m a real catch, what can I say,” Duff joked dryly. Mae rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, you’re in for quite the deal, Y/N…” she told you. You laughed before you privately took in the picture before you, Duff and his daughters settling down for an evening together, and somehow, that involved you. Quite the deal indeed.

[comfy-whumpee]

Cat 2

@whumptober2020 Day 28: Normal. Taken from ‘Such Wow. Many Normal. Very Oops.’

TW: Lindsey is kind of intimate in this, in a platonic but attracted way.

Taglist: @lonesome--hunter, @iaminamoodymoodtoday, @wildfaewhump, @ishouldblogmore, @lektricwhump, @that-one-thespian, @raigash, @eatyourdamnpears.

The captive was chained against the wall, long links of metal locked around the nailed-in loops in the concrete. The arms were above the head, the ankles together on the ground, and just like everyone else, the video camera was placed on its tripod in front of the victim.

It was all terribly, obnoxiously normal, except the person in the chains was Cat.

Lindsey had taken her blazer and searched her pockets, disappointed to find only the key card from the hotel and the empty packet of painkillers. “Not even your knife, Cat?” she’d commented, tossing the jacket aside. “For shame!”

Cat had only glared. Her glasses had been nudged slightly askew, and it made everything tilted, as though seasick. She didn’t have the hands to straighten them.

Now Lindsey was unbuttoning her shirt, leaning close enough that Cat could smell her, could hear her humming to herself softly, and the feeling of fingers popping the buttons of her blouse through was somehow the least disturbing thing about this situation.

“Okay!” Lindsey said, once she had unveiled her grim canvas. “Um, what’s next? Ugh, I suck at this bit!”

Next was to set the camera to record. Cat didn’t speak to tell her. Normally that was her job, so it stood to reason that Lindsey wouldn’t remember, and Cat was not interested in being a snuff film. She stared at Lindsey, and after a moment’s thought, said, “Now you fucking let me go because I’m the only person who’ll put up with your shit.”

Lindsey grinned. “Nuh-uh. You stopped putting up with me when you took Liam away. You weren’t gonna come back, Cat, I know you weren’t.”

Cat didn’t have anything to say to that. The comment had served its purpose; Lindsey had forgotten about the routine she was trying to follow. The camera was off. Fucking typical, that she’d be captured by someone who wouldn’t even remember to set the camera to record.

Someone whom she’d allowed to know her, who turned on her.

Fucking typical.

“Umm, oh, I know!” Lindsey brightened again. “Cat Herrera! You’re here because you did a bad thing! You left me, your wife, at home and ran away to elope with some guy. Also you took the nice car.”

“I’m not your wife,” Cat reminded her, for at least the thousandth time. “You know I—”

“Hate it when I call you that, yeah, yeah, I know.” Lindsey stretched her arms above her head, and gave Cat a sunny smile with a hint of slyness. “That’s why I did it. You put up with my shit! I know you hate the idea of getting married again so I, y’know. Played with it.”

The wall was suddenly very cold at Cat’s bare back. Lindsey had calculated that, too? How many more things had she missed?

Lindsey’s expression was in the shadow of the brightness of the single bulb, hanging behind her head like an ungodly halo. “You put up with loads of stuff. I cut people sometimes and you fixed it. I stole stuff and you fixed it. And you gave me people to torture! And you acted like you were a good person for doing it!” She moved forwards, beaming. “You were the dream girl.” Her voice softened. Her eyes were dark and bright. “All I had to do was keep you safe from that nasty world out there, and let you think you controlled me.”

Cat’s heartbeat was pulsing against her skin. She didn’t look away, didn’t break Lindsey’s stare, but it was no longer the glare of judgement. She looked up at Lindsey and recognised, distantly, that she was a prey animal caught in the sightlines of a predator, wondering which way to bolt.

Calm down. She knew which way.

“And you’re going to throw it away for a few days of fun,” she replied, and her voice was level. Lindsey didn’t get to do this. She didn’t get to win.

“Yeah, I am.” The knife came up, and Cat held still as the curve of the hook touched the bottom of her chin. “I can’t let you leave.”

One good thing about the gut hook was that it didn’t stab when she spoke. She spoke normally. She wouldn’t show fear, couldn’t. “I told you, I wasn’t leaving.”

“You were!” Lindsey cried suddenly, and the knife slashed down and caught on Cat’s collarbone, pain roaring to life as the tip caught and gouged through the skin. “I know you, Cat, don’t patronise me! You ran away from me! You took your fake ID and the money and the car and you disappeared and you didn’t tell me why, that’s not a lesson for me, you were running away!”

Her voice bounced off the walls, a pressure against Cat’s head as the migraine pulsed gently against her right eye. It was back, of course. Couldn’t do one thing at a time. The slow march of hot blood down her front was only part of the delights she had waiting for her today—

Focus. She kept her gaze level, breathing even, and voice steady. The more emotional Lindsey got, the calmer she had to be. “I made you think that, you idiot. That was the point.”

“No. No, the safe was a secret, the other ID you had.” Lindsey’s voice dropped back into conversational lightness dizzyingly fast. “You wanted to run. My own wife—”

“I’m not your fucking wife—”

“—leaving me for a boy.”

“I don’t even date, Lindsey.”

“Mhmm, because you know what I’d do to anyone you did.”

“No. You know I’m not interested.”

Lindsey shrugged away the truth. “You’re not a very good liar. You get all snippy and mean when you lie. C’mon, just admit it. You wanted to leave me.”

Cat glared at her, but she was thinking. If Lindsey really could tell when she was lying – sometimes, not all the time – then it was better to be honest about this one thing. Just one thing.

“I didn’t,” she said. She let it pause, let Lindsey’s eyebrows rise at it sank in. “I didn’t want to leave you, Lin. I wanted to believe you’d just messed up, that you really had changed and you listened to me. I wanted to ignore it. But Liam was like me, you know it. I couldn’t let you fuck him up. We’re supposed to protect people like that.”

Lindsey’s nose wrinkled. “That was your thing, not me.”

“It was our thing,” Cat corrected, sharply as she could muster. “It was what we built together. And you destroyed it because you couldn’t resist a victim under your nose. Don’t blame me for this, Lindsey. This was all you.”

Lindsey didn’t immediately reply. Cat breathed, controlled and regular, feeling her heartbeat slow. That was it, her last appeal to their relationship. A line in the sand, though Lindsey might not know it. If she listened, and accepted it was her fault, maybe Cat could get out of this alive. Maybe she still had a foothold, however small, in Lindsey’s artificial conscience.

For a long minute, Lindsey thought. She was frowning, which was a good sign. The less happy she was with the situation, the better Cat’s odds were. The less certain she was that this was what she wanted, the more likely it was that Cat could persuade her that it wasn’t.

“Mmnngh,” Lindsey groaned. “Maybe you’re right. I did kinda fuck up. I could’ve got you back. But you should’ve told me you weren’t running away.”

Relief couldn’t be shown. Cat rolled her eyes. “Fine. I will next time.” Glare. “Not that there should be a next time.”

“No,” Lindsey agreed, but she seemed distracted. “No, there wouldn’t be. ‘Cause, even if you were gonna come back, now...” Her eyes focused on Cat’s bleeding collarbone. “I did it, didn’t I?”

“What?”

“I hurt you.” She raised the knife and considered it, tilting it until a reflection of light crossed her face. She rubbed a thumb over the hook, smearing away a trace of Cat’s blood. “You said if I ever hurt you, you’d leave forever. And I just did.”

Cat watched, unable to speak, as Lindsey’s eyes moved back to her cut, fixed there. A hand rose, brushed across the skin, pressed where it was broken as if she could rub it away, and Lindsey sighed softly, happily. “Your heart’s beating so fast.”

Cat’s jaw set. “Let me down.”

“Mm-mm. Not this time.” Slowly, she raised the knife. With the edge of the blade, this time, she drew down Cat’s other collarbone, a long slice along its ridge that stung in the metal’s wake. Lindsey exhaled shakily. “Oh man, I’m so not allowed to do this.”

She knew. She did it anyway. The time for talking was over. Words wouldn’t stop her now.

“Cat,” Lindsey said, and it was still the same voice, the same tone, the same friend who had been with her for over a decade. “You look so good. You’re so pretty. I knew it, I knew you would be.”

Don’t be so fucking creepy, Lin.

There was no point. This was happening. Her nightmares had come true.

“I know you like blue,” Lindsey said, and the smile in her eyes was bright, too bright, fixated. “But I think red is your colour.”

[oookaline]

Miss You - Lyric Analysis

by me because im bored.

yet again because whats more fun than going over lyrics for the 2736843th time? Absolutely nothing! and if you thought of something, you're lying to youself

So, miss you was a song released in the 8th of December 2017.

Some backstory before.

ObViOusLy, the whole babygate thing, add a lil cherry on top with the Elk split up (23rd march 2015 - 2 weeks prior) and them getting back toguether in 2017 (17 Feb). All of this aswell as Danielle and Brenda in the middle of it.

K with all the smol context under us we can already look around and see that just by the title 'Miss You' people had speculated it was for Eleanor, and since Louis said :

I wrote this song about a time in my life when I was going out partying every night. In hindsight throughout that time I was pretty numb and just going through the motions. Deep down it was always in the back of my mind that what I really missed was the girl that I loved

which obviously links the song to two occurences:

Babygate: 'was going out partying every night' (since we know for a fact he literally went partying every week)

The split up from Elk

but the thing is right- lmao Danielle just danielled away. No mention whatsoever.

This, all of this, and JUsT that quote that Louis gave us already destroyed like- half the narrative of 'Really good friends w an oops baby' and (obviously) just tarnishes yet again the 'engagement' route they were going to take. BUT IT ALSO leaves Danielle behind as if she didn't even exist!!

Which by the way things look, she might not've anygays.

The music video was made in LA

which again (If I could I would literally kiss louis brain) links it to Babygate.

Now the lyrics

verse 1:

"Is it my imagination?

Is it something that I’m taking?

All the smiles that I’m faking

“Everything is great

Everything is fucking great”"

Obviously we can literally hear the sarcasm on the last two lines. 'All the fake smiles' reffering to all the pap pics he did while the lead up to the Holy Conception. Aswell that him reffering to the scene as 'imagination' or 'something that he's taking' could emphasize that its so bad, so unreal that he thinks its a joke and that he's either too drunk or thinking it.

Going out every weekend

Staring at the stars on the ceiling

Hollywood friends, gotta see them

Such a good time

I believe it this time

Again, him reffering to him being papped every week on a club with the first line, the 'stars on the' ceiling reffering to the lights in night clubs, 'Holywood Friends' reffering to Annas, and specially reffering to Snoop Dog and his launch party, which was when this picture happened:

pre chorus:

Tuesday night

Glazed over eyes

Just one more pint or five

Does it even matter anyway?

One of the fucking smartest lines in my opinion, him reffering to tuesday. Which is him reffering to the day the first article of him being out partying came out:

The next are him reffering to what always happened; drinking and feeling shit. 'does it even matter anyways' is his subcontious trying to tell him to give in and just do what they wanted him to do, saying that it doesn't even matter because either way the end will be shit (and bla bla bla, but again, its his subcontious. not him.)

chorus:

We’re dancing on tables

And I’m off my face

With all of my people

And it couldn’t get better they say

the first two lines are ofc reffering to the feeling of being drunk, 'dancing on tables' and 'of your face' are ohrases people use to refer to drunken states. The 'people' Louis is reffering to is his escorts; people paayed to carry out what is supposed to happen that night (bodyguards, pr managers, paps, in cases the girls aswell he appears papped with), and the line 'couldn't get better they say' has both the connotation of this being the LA dream, of always partying, knocking chicks up, drinking to your hearts desire- aswell as having the connotation of 'his people' telling him it will not get better, so don't try to oppose it. (which links back to the previous verse 'does it even matter anyway')

We’re singing 'til last call

And it’s all out of tune

Should be laughing, but there’s something wrong

And it hits me when the lights go on

Shit, maybe I miss you

'singing til last call' refers to how late he spent in the clubs and 'out of tune' suggest again the drunk state. 'Should be laughing but there's something wrong' is again, elluding to that LA dream partying state that should've been what he was feeling, since that's what the media said. The 'lights go on' is reffering to the paps, when they take pictures (and obviously the miss you is talking about eleanor because he'd much rather stunt with her than be here lmao ) And yes, the miss you is reffering to Harry.

There doesn't have to be a reason and obviously it could also be a stunt line in the song- but let me explain what I think: We can see Louis' state by the end of the paps shoots, how he slowly just becomes VERY tired towards the last few ones. And keep in mind he was also touring with 1D WHILE HE PARTIED. Which meant it was Show-Party-Show-Party with things thrown between it aswell. Giving close to little time to spend w Harry.

(Pretty sure that's not at all what happened, its just what I think- it was such a fucking busy thing, I'd not be surprised if they both were stressed and not having enough 1-1 time)

Verse 2:

Just like that and I’m sober

I’m asking myself, “Is it over?”

Maybe I was lying when I told you

“Everything is great

Everything is fucking great”

First line reffering to how in the morning, next day of partying, he was again sober- for the shows- and him asking 'is it over' refers to how he just wanted it to be over with, all the patying and paps.

The two last lines could signify him talking to someone about his life- I'd say that the 'you' here does not mean Harry- but someone else- them asking "How's your life going" and then him going "Great Great, yeah- fookin great ykwim"

something along the lines of that you get me.

And all of these thoughts and the feelings

Chase you down if you don’t need them

I’ve been checking my phone all evening

Such a good time

I believe it this time

the first and second lines here are again, Louis talking about his subcontious; that 'this will turn on us' reffering to him and Harry. About a (probable) fear that this will make a strain in their relationship and stuff.

(a/n: kind of like how a lot of shippers unlarried while babygate was happening because 'louis couldn't cheat' or how a lot of shippers say they broke up during that time because 'Harry couldn't take the stress' and stuff)

Im not saying they broke up not that he cheated. What I'm saying is that there was a fear that this would make them break up- he says 'chase you down' which has the animalification of the wolves chasing down the pray to kill them etc.

Bridge:

Now I’m asking my friends how to say “I’m sorry”

They say “Lad, give it time, there’s no need to worry”

And we can’t even be on the phone now

And I can’t even be with you alone now

the first line links to what I said about Louis' subconcious; this would be that constant need to say 'I am sorry' for something that isn't his fault or something that he can't control, and then the second line goes on to say that he doesn't have to worry because, again, its not his fault and Harry undertands that.

Now the 'We can't even be on the phone now, I can't even be with you alone now' refers to their public appearance, on how other than that Paris interview there are no other interviews with just them two, on how we didn't get a Larry hour on 1Dday... It refers to them literally being unable to say anything to each other because of management.

Oh, how shit changes

We were in love, now we’re strangers

I WANT TO ALIENATE THESE TWO LINES BECAUSE OF HOW FUCKING LOUT IT IS.

this one links ti the last two of the previous, again on their public image (His and Harry's) about how they were once in love (fetus) but now they're strangers (the mortal enemies narrative)

When I feel it coming up, I just throw it all away

Get another two shots 'cause it doesn’t matter anyway

And to top off these last two lines of the bridge is him linking all of this back to the start of the song: 'is it my imagination, is it something that I'm taking' with 'when I feel it coming up, I just throw it all away'; when the thoughts that this is all fake and once he wakes up or stop imagining its all going to be better (aswell as with the connotation of over partying and vomiting) but at the same time him making himself stop those thoughts because he knows this is reality. And then round back again with the repetition of 'doesn't matter anyways' with it feeling like a dead end to him.

[paper-chain-queen]

Sweet ‘N Spicy Goodness

Bakugou X FReader

Rating: Teen... because it’s Bakugou and he swears :p

Words: 2,000+

I loved the Lotte x Bump Of Chicken animation by Studio Bones and thought of this little one-shot. Please look it up on Youtube if you haven't seen it, it's super cute

Summary: Bakugou goes to the store to pick up his favourite chocolate bar, he ends up crushing on a U.A student in the process.

A blonde boy stomped his way into a convenience store to grab a small snack. He wasn’t in his usual area, and he was more irritated than usual as it had started to get cold. 

The winter cold was making it harder for him to sweat, which made his quirk less effective and thus making it nearly impossible to train for the upcoming U.A entrance exam.

“Fuck this cold. It’s fucking freezing..”His hand reached for the last hot pepper-infused chocolate bar. Regular chocolate bars were too sugary but this one was spicy which made it perfect in his opinion. Bakugou’s hand grabbed the red-packaging and half- a second later another hand with long, orange nails dropped next to his.Bakugou felt a shock go up his body as he turned his head, ready to tell whoever it was to ‘fuck off.’ As he turned to look, he felt his words get caught in his throat.

“Oops, sorry.” The girl’s voice was like a melody he had never heard. Her lustrous hair was slightly peeking out from the oversized scarf she was wearing, he wasn’t the only one feeling the cold. She had a bright smile and large eyes that seemed to draw him in, and he noticed a red camellia tucked into her hair.She stood maybe a head taller and said something else before removing her dainty hand from the chocolate bar and grabbing a different snack.

The girl gave him another bright smile before walking away towards the cashier, a bounce in her step. The girl was too cheery with the man behind the counter for Bakugou’s taste, giving him a friendly goodbye as she headed out the store, the greenish skirt of her U.A uniform swishing around her thighs as she quickly evaded colliding with an incoming customer.

“Wait, dammit… U.A- !” Bakugou realized where the girl went to school was exactly what he was aiming for and tried to run after her, not really knowing why, but he lost her in a crowd. He stood in the middle of the sidewalk, letting out a large sigh, his hot breath in the cold air creating a soft cloud.

“Pft.. whatever… not gonna worry about some extra..” Bakugou decided and hunched his shoulders forward as he stuffed the chocolate bar into his pocket, hurrying home to get out of the cold.He would see her at U.A when he got in. Not that he cared if he ever saw her again.

Time passed, Bakugou got into U.A but he hadn’t seen the mystery girl around. So much had happened since the convenience store meeting. 

There was the USJ incident. The fall of All Might. Moving into the dorms. Bakugou failed his hero licensing exam and had to take a course. He had been a drummer at the U.A school festival. Yes, U.A kept Bakugou very busy but now and then he still found himself wondering where the annoyingly cute girl who liked spicy hot pepper-chocolate was.

Bakugou was back at the convenience store, nestled into his scarf, cursing about the cold as he reached out for his regular spicy chocolate bar. Seconds after his hand grabbed it, another hand reached out and laid their soft hand over his.The hand didn’t move, just stayed there and softly held his.

Bakugou looked over and it the girl from the last time. His world felt hazy, the edges were all airbrushed out, and she stood in the centre, clear as day, and she was as beautiful as the first time he saw her. The U.A uniform looked perfect on her before, and that hadn’t changed. Her skirt was even a little shorter, and Bakugou caught a small peak of soft skin above her thigh-high black stockings.He couldn’t believe his luck, he had come to this convenience store multiple times, but this was the first time since the initial meeting that he had seen her.

The explosive boy had tried to find her at U.A, but he didn’t know her name and was too proud to go around, giving people a detailed description of the girl who enjoyed the same chocolate as him.

She smiled coyly and had blush on her cheeks as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.Bakugou was no longer shorter, he had grown and now towered over her. The ash-blonde boy smirked at her, feeling cocky over the way she smiled and blushed. He let go of the chocolate bar and held hand in his. It fit perfectly in his.

“ I- I was thinking about you… I couldn’t take my mind off-” Her soft melodic voice was cut off, and he felt hard fabric wrap around his head.

“Bakugou!”

“Huh?” He was in class, being glared at by his homeroom teacher.

“Fall asleep again, and you can take a nap in detention,” Aizawa informed him, causing the others in class to laugh.It was just a dream. Bakugou had been dreaming…

“What? did you stay up past 8:30 last night, Bakugou!?” Teased Kaminari.

“Die.” He threatened, and the class only laughed at the antics.Bakugou leaned back and looked out the window, winter was on its way, and all the tree’s on campus were bare, a slight layer of frost covered the window.

The class went on, and soon it was lunch, and he was surrounded by his usual crew.

“Yo, check it out, (y/n)-senpai is with Gang Orca’s agency!” Sero shoved his phone into Kirishima’s face, who grabbed the phone and seemed to be excited over the news.Red eyes wandered over to the phone screen as he shovelled hot curry into his mouth, and when he recognized the girl in the tight-fitting catsuit smiling with the top ten hero, he choked on his food.Kirishima hit him on the back to try and help him while Kaminari and Sero laughed.

If Bakugou hadn’t been so caught up in the fact he finally had a name for the face he had seen in his weird and unwanted daydreams, then he would threaten to end their lives for laughing at him.Mina handed him a glass of water while Kirishima asked what was wrong. What they didn’t know was that Bakugou was actually over the moon.He had a lead.

Bakugou silently ate the rest of his lunch while the others at the table talked about (y/n)-Senpai. She was a second-year student in Class 2-B and was already making headlines in the professional hero world.

Her quirk: Mother Nature. That explained the red flower nestled in her hair.Kirishima even showed him a video from the recent event where she created a massive serpent-dragon out of vines and trees, controlling and making it move as if it was alive and capturing a villain in its wooden jaws.Bakugou was now more determined to find her and challenge her to a fight.He was sure he would. He was Bakugou, the best, the future number one hero. He wouldn’t let himself be intimidated by some girl.

Even if she was pretty and had a pretty awesome quirk.

“Hey Bakugou, we’re gonna stock up for game night, want any snacks?” Kirishima asked as everyone packed up their school bags, excited for their weekend.

“I’ll get it myself, Shitty Hair.” The group headed off school grounds together, and Bakugou shoved his hands into his coat pockets, trying to keep warm.

“Fuck, it’s cold out.”The group of friends walked along the road and came upon the local convenience store that lots of U.A students frequented.The bell rang as they walked into the store, and Bakugou went straight to the wall that was decorated with various types of chocolate treats. His hand reached out for his favourite hot-pepper infused chocolate bar, it’s flaming red packaging standing out on the shelf.As his hand reached for it, another gloved hand bumped into his, and his heart raced, his crimson eye’s looking over, hoping to see the girl who had been on his mind.Instead.. he was met with Sero’s broad smile.

“You like this one too Bakugou?! I’ll rock-paper-scissors you for it.” Sero offered, and Bakuou simply growled and just took the chocolate bar from the shelf for himself, marched to the cashier, paid for his stuff and stomping out of the store to head back.The days were short, so the night had fallen, and neon lights decorated the street.

As he walked along the road, he could hear his 'squad’ calling his name and catching up to him. By chance, he looked up and froze on the spot, causing the guys to ask him what was wrong, but Bakugou just stared ahead.There you were, walking along with some friend of yours. She must have been telling you a joke or something because you were laughing, a bounce in your step as you walked. You were sporting the U.A uniform but had a thick green scarf wrapped around your neck and hair, a red camelia tucked behind your ear.You were stunning, and Bakugou felt his body go hot, his palms sweating profusely as he stared at you despite the cold air.

“Bakugou?”The explosion boy didn’t wait any longer and ran straight towards you, not thinking about his next move, but he didn’t want to miss this chance.

All you saw was someone running up to you, and your friend and your hero instincts flipped on as you took a fighting pose, ready to protect your friend who was in the support program at U.A.Instead of starting a fight, Bakugou came to a screeching halt in front of you and huffed and puffed as he stood there. His breath creating soft, fleeting clouds in the cold air.Crimson eyes met yours and stayed like that for a while.

“…Oh! I know you.” You giggled, and your friend just looked to for answers, and you grabbed onto her sleeve and shook it to get her attention.

“Remember, the cute boy who beat me to my favourite chocolate bar.”  You reminded her and Bakugou’s face erupted into a red that matched his eyes as he heard that you had thought of him.

You had talked about him…. and called him cute!

Bakugou couldn’t help but celebrate in his mind, stoked that he had stood out enough for you to tell your friend about him. And while he didn’t stand tall over you, he appeared to now and at least be the same height.

He was still a growing boy. He knew he had time to grow taller.

You spoke to your friend, and she said she needed to head home for dinner but expected a text later, wanting to know how this all ended.

He rushed to grab the chocolate bar out of his pocket and held it out to you. He couldn’t even look at you as he did, choosing to look to the side, only peeking after a moment that you still just stared at the chocolate bar.

“Well?! Take it already!” He snapped, holding out the bar closer to you.

“Oh! Thank you.” She smiled and took the bar, a small blush on her cheeks. She unwrapped the red paper revealing the silver foil and snapped the bar in half.

“Here, for my cute kohai.” You offered him the other half, and Bakugou couldn’t believe how you had somehow gotten prettier than the last time he had seen you, and he felt this smile was unique, just for him. His recent fantasies of you fell short of the real thing.

“I’m a second year in the hero course at U.A., class 2-1. (L/N) (Y/N), nice to meet you…” you were still holding out the other half of the chocolate bar to him.

“C'mon bro, introduce yourself already.” Kirishima was nudging him, annoying him.

“Fuck off already!” He yelled at him and got even more embarrassed when he realized how he was acting in front of you.But you just giggled, a small blush on your cheeks. He hoped you couldn’t hear how quickly his heart was racing.

“Bakugou Katsuki…” He told her while grabbing the chocolate she was offering.

“ (L/N)- Senpai! Do you like video games?” Asked Mina as she bounced up and down and grabbed the girl’s hands.

“I do, I’m not very good, though.” you laughed at the pink girl’s energetic self.

“That’s okay! It’s just for fun anyway, plus this group has wayyy too much male energy. I’m dying for a girl to join.” Mina was practically begging you to join.

“ If you don’t mind then, I’d love to join.” You said, and you looked over to the cute ash-blonde boy who had been quiet. Bakugou Katsuki was a boy you had been curious about for a bit, and you couldn’t help be excited about finally meeting him.

“Maybe I could be your player 2?” You winked at Bakugou as you said so, and he felt his heart go 'boom.’

“What are you losers waiting for then!? It’s fucking cold out.” He yelled as he turned around to hide his red face as he stuffed the entire half of the chocolate bar into his face and then jammed his hands into his pockets, marching back to the school dorms.

“He’s kind of a funny one, isn’t he?” You giggled to the others in the group, and they all laughed nervously, even they weren’t sure what to make of Bakugou’s strange attitude.

“ Yeah… but he’s a really good guy.” Kirishima insisted, getting the feeling that his best bro had a crush, and he would do what he could to help.

“Yeah, I saw his performance at the summer festival.” You gushed, and Kirishima worried that the sports festival might be a poor example of what Bakugou was like.

“ He’s really not that bad…” He started, but you were quick to cut him off.

“I thought he was amazing, the way he used his quirk was so versatile, and his determination to take the number one spot was admirable.” You explained, Kirishima noticed a small blush on your cheeks as you tucked a bit of hair behind your ear. Maybe you had a crush on Bakugou as well?

“Oi, flower girl!” Bakugou yelled, pointing his finger at you.

“Flower girl?” You asked, pointing to yourself and tilting your head slightly. The act made Bakugou curse in his head. You were unfairly cute, and it was making his teenage brain go crazy. Bakugou had waited a year to meet you and wasn’t going to let you waste time on 'extra’s. He wanted you beside him.

“Don’t walk with them! Walk with me.” He grabbed you by the scarf and dragged you along. Kirishima shook his head at his friend, hoping you weren’t the type to be scared off by this behaviour.

All you were thinking was that this seemed to be the beginning of a very fun, but oddly sweet relationship with a little bit of spice. Just the way you liked your chocolate bars.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 3]

New? Read here! Then here!

Chapter 15: Why Do We Live? Just To Suffer?!

Beizu and I didn’t waste any time trying to escape for the weekend! It was our weekend! We agreed to go to our parent’s homes and hang out from there. I get home and nobody was there as expected. Saturdays are hang out days for the kids and short work days for mom and dad. I slam myself onto my bed, as I missed sleeping on my very comfy mattress. The dorm beds SUCK! I get coffee from the kitchen after a while and floated around.

“Hey Muffins, update me on the household since the last time I was here” I called out to the resting robo on the couch.

“It’s been 115 days since you’ve last been home, there’s been 4 fires and 7 gatherings at the house.” the robo listed “20 pictures has been added to the family virtual library. Mom didn’t celebrate her birthday. There’s been 2 lockdowns at the house, Tensei went to debate nationals in March, Hanaka got suspended from school that same week. Lili has video called every night for the past 2 months. And that’s up to date.”

“Only 4 fires? Huh” I took a sip of my coffee “Thank you for the update, whats the ETA for anybody?”

“Hanaka and Dad are due to come back from the doctors at 1pm”

“Doctors?” I whispered to myself “She never gets sick, hope she’s okay.”

It may not be obvious, but Hanaka used to latch onto me when she was a baby. She’d cry when I don’t acknowledge her before I leave the house and set my sweater sleeves on fire if I don’t hold her right away. She’s very much the little, bratty sister type but I still worry. She depends a lot on family support because of her fire quirk, it makes it very hard to live a normal life. Wonder if that’s the cause? I wait around and see them come through the door but it feels so off. Hanaka goes straight to her room in silence, ignoring the fact that I’m in sight.

“Hello Iwata, how was your trip home?” Dad said once Hanaka was in her room.

“It was fine but what’s up with her?” 

Dad sighed “She had an episode where she couldn’t control her fire. Nobody got hurt but it happened at school and the school made it a big deal out of it, calling her a delinquent.”

“So what’s the diagnosis?” I asked, processing what dad told me.

“Anxiety trigger, the mix of her quirk and puberty hormones are making her unstable” Dad sets down his keys to wipe his glasses “I really don’t know what to do. And I’m scared its going to be like when your mom gets unstable.”

“Wait, mom gets unstable?” that was news to me. I know of mom losing her temper when she was younger but getting unstable?!

Dad nodded and put his glasses back on “It happens when she overworks and stresses out. Once I triggered the breaking point and I got hit by her psych-blast. If your uncle Jin didn’t set up the robo to sedate her at the right moment, she could’ve died.”

I looked toward the top of the stairs “Well you’ve dealt with mom’s and mine anxiety things, how is this any different?”

“You and your mom have the same quirk and therapy has helped you two” dad started “Your sister doesn’t have the same quirk to body part association. How do you contain a fire that water doesn’t douse nor can be snuffed out? I want to help, I know how much she wants to live a normal life.”

“Leave it to me then” I said confidently “Lili isn’t here to do a girl talk, but I’m here to do a big brother support conversation! Maybe I’ll break through to her, who knows?”

“If you feel like it will help” Dad smiled “then go and talk to her. I’ll be down here making lunch.”

I make my way to the girls room. Before I could even knock, I heard her deep and heavy sobs. It was unsettling as I’ve never heard her sob like this. I knock on the door.

“Can I come in?”

“No”

“Why?”

“I don’t wanna talk about things!”

“I don’t wanna talk” I shake my bag of snacks “I just wanna share cheetos with my little sister.”

“...what kind of cheetos?”

“Hot con límon.”

“...okay you may enter.”

I open the door to see Hanaka in a blanket burrito, mouth and nose peeking out. Trying not to laugh at the sight, I sit next to her bed on the floor and open the bag of cheetos. I float them between us so she could get some without reaching too far. We just sat there in silence for a while until she spoke up.

“Iwa, do you think I’m a bad person?”

I look over to see her face peeking out “No.”

“Do you think anybody would love me? Romantically?”

Oh its that kind of conversation “I believe there’s somebody for everybody.”

“It’s just that, I confessed to somebody and they said so many mean things” her lips started to quiver “Like I’m weird looking, my quirks are weird, that my fire quirk makes it so it burns to hold my hand and who would want to love me if they can’t hold my hand.”

“Well that’s rude! They should’ve just said no and be on their way!” I never wanted to punch a child so much in my life.

“What was worse was that all his friends were there to laugh at me and it attracted more kids to poke fun at me” Hanaka got teary eyed “And I just couldn’t take it, I got all shakey and just combusted into flames. The flames were strong enough to set the play yard on fire. Nobody got hurt but it was still scary.”

“Nobody helped you afterwards?”

“Tensei, Petti and Kyanka covered me until a teacher came” she wiped her tears with the blanket “But I caused so much trouble and it really upset the people in the office. They called me a bad kid and that it wouldn’t surprise them if I became a villain.”

Oh hell no, that school is on my hit list for saying something like that to a child! “Fuck that school! You know what Hanaka, you’re not a bad kid, okay? And you are capable of love and people love you back, do you think Tensei and your friends would do that if they didn’t love you?”

Hanaka sniffed “No...”

“Would you do the same for them if their quirk got out of hand?”

“Yeah! Of course I would!” she responded passionately “I’m their best friend, and friends don’t let friends do things alone!”

“See?! You’re not a bad kid, you love your friends and family” I encouraged her “You can worry about romantic love later, the one will come around soon enough. Right now just focus on school work and being a good friend.”

Hanaka loosened the grip she had on the blanket so it unfurled around her “I guess that does make me feel a bit better” she brought her knees up to her chest “But now I don’t even know if I’m going back to that school. Mommy got really upset like you did at the school office that she’s fighting with the school officials.”

“Wow, good on mom to stand up for you!” I gave props “I’d do the same. But lets not worry about that and trust in mom to make the right move. So, lets change the subject! What’s new?”

Hanaka blew her nose and disposed of her now highly flammable tissue “Uhhh, I made a new friend. Which so happens to be the daughter of one of mom and dad’s hero classmates.”

“Oh that’s tea, who?!” I was intrigued by that second part.

“Her dad is ‘Can’t Stop Twinkling’ the Sparkling Hero” she explained “She was the new girl at school this year and she’s just like me and the girls!”

Her usual giddy self came back, warming my heart “And what’s that?”

“We hate our hero dads, love shopping and wanna be goth” she grabbed her phone to show me her lock screen “See? That’s us right before that juice stand behind us caught on fire.”

“Did you-”

“I don’t think I was responsible for that fire” she clarified “We booked it just in case anyone wanted to pin it on me. BUT look at us!”

I squint at the lock screen picture “There’s glare on your friend’s face.”

“That’s her quirk, don’t be rude!” she scolded me “She’s so luminescent that it hurts to look at her sometimes, and in pictures she’s always glared out. But we put her next to Petti in pictures to offset the light and take a decent one.”

“I’m glad you made a new friend! Has she been to the house?”

“Yup, she’s not yet used to the spicy food we eat though” Hanaka stifled a giggle “Her dad says that she was born and raised in France. He brought her over here because the schools in Japan are better and the hero work is abundant.”

“Can’t wait to meet them”

“Lets see during graduation season” she started then her phone pinged “Oop that’s the group chat, they’re sending their concern memes.”

Before I could take a peek at her phone, Tensei busts in. Which was weird because he ALWAYS knocks.

“Rosa! Okay, okay, okay” he said quickly before calming down a little “I did...a thing...wait- Iwa? When did you get home?”

“I got here late morning but whats the haps lil bro?” I asked “You look like you landed in a trash heap.”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that happened” he said closing the door behind him and locking it “But back to the thing I did. PLEASE don’t tell mom and dad! Because I’m still very fresh from the thing I did and I’m still processing it.”

“Okay just spill it” Hanaka was getting annoyed “You keep saying thing like you don’t know other words! What thing did you do on your sleep over with the boys?”

“This” he lifted his shirt up to his chest, revealing a belly button piercing.

I was shocked, so shocked that I dropped the bag of cheetos that I was floating. Tensei is this good boy image with a punk-like personality. To see this rebellious side to him made me proud in a way. He looks the most like our dad but with a darker skin tone, so I guess this is his baby step into his true self. Hanaka was so shocked that the waste basket contents caught on fire.

“What the- where in Japan did you go to get pierced?” Hanaka asked genuinely “Those jewelry places don’t let you get one without adult permission if you’re under 16.”

“Don’t get mad, but one of my band members has a cousin that’s a tattoo artist and does piercings at the place they work at” Tensei started to get red faced “Sooo I showed him that I could fix his little barbel piercings for free when the boys and I walked into his shop for fun... And he gave me this as payment.”

“Tensei! You got this i l l e g a l l y?!” I harshly whispered “Why did you agree to it?”

“Yeah! It’s not like you to do those things” Hanaka scowled in concern “What’s gotten into you lately? Ever since you came back from Nationals, you’ve been acting different.”

Tensei pulled down his shirt and sighed “I’m sick of being praised of being as good and law abiding like dad. I’m nothing like him inside! I’m not some capri-wearing rectangle!” he huffed “I’m way cooler, smarter and talented then people give me credit for. I don’t need the signature quirk to make my way in this world! And I wanna change my image so people take me seriously...no more orderly Tensei, I wanna be anarchist Oro!”

Hanaka narrowed her eyes, like she was shooting needles into her twin’s soul “Is this because you lost and can’t accept the L?”

Tensei turned red and scrunched his nose “No! I’ve already grieved over that and took and L” he crossed his arms “Nationals was just a tiny part of the whole reason.”

“What?” I was lost in this timeline of events.

Hanaka leaned over to me and whispered “Tensei cost his team majorly on all his debates. So bad that the team barred him from going to more debates this season and has to prove himself all over again to get back in the top 3 teams at school.”

“Oof that’s some sad boi shit” I winced at the recap “It’s okay to still not be over that L, you don’t have to spiral like this.”

“Well it’s too late, I got the damn piercing already and planned the next one” Tensei took a deep breath “I’ve been wanting this for a while, to just rebrand and have respect as my own identity. Not some clone of my father or just be the ‘other’ Iida twin. But until I take the next few steps, please don’t tell our parents about this. I want to tell them myself when the time comes.”

“Okay sure” Hanaka and I agreed.

Tensei turned to open the door “Thanks guys, it means a lot to me that you support me.”

Man, things are getting crazy here! My sweet parents have to deal with this shit on their own and they deserve a vacation or the Nobel peace prize for being the most supportive during life disasters. Seriously! I didn’t see mom until the evening, she looked a little run down but I really wanted to talk to her.

“Hey mom” I announced myself as I entered the living room.

“Iwata! I’ve missed you so much” Mom said as she used her quirk to pull me in for a tight hug “You’re getting so big, I can hardly wrap my arms around you!”

“Missed you too” I hugged her back “I just really miss being home.”

“I bet, heard you did phenomenal at the last practice test” she smiled and caressed my face with her hand “Just like your mama back in the day. I’m so proud of you for using the good old distraction card! That’s what I was well known for, wildcard and distractions.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about” I sat up straight “I don’t know how things are going to get for the Labyrinth practice test. You took the practice and the evaluated one, what’s the winning combo?”

“What? hahaha” Mom laughed for a moment “There really isn’t a ‘winning combo’, just being well versed in fighting techniques. That’s where your uncle Jin didn’t get to the mid-point, he’s a genius and has good speed BUT he lacks impulsive/on the fly thinking. Everything has to be calculated to the T for him and if too many things has gone wrong in his thought out strategy, those seconds he takes thinking of a new plan can be the death of him.” She sighed into another chuckle “And your aunty Mimi! Boy, she’s an amazing weapons user and she NEVER misses. But in the exam, she didn’t make it past the 3rd stage because the stand off was with someone that erases quirks. She depended too much on her quirk for her gun wielding and she got out because of it.”

“So you did the opposite?”

“I used my critical thinking to get me though all the stages. The place were I used my quirks the most were at the end to win the fight with the mock villain” she leaned back and looked up at the ceiling “The rigorous training I did for basically a year got me to the point of not depending on my quirks until the very last resort. Remember Iwata, just because we can do anything without lifting a finger doesn’t mean we should ignore how able bodied we are. So I suggest do some more strength and endurance OH and you might need to do some breathing training too! Never know if you need to hold your breath for a certain amount of time.”

“That’s a lot to train on, kinda makes me feel like I didn’t do enough” I got self-conscience “I wanna do good in this one! Not because I want to make you proud, but for myself. Maybe passing this will spark something in me that’ll give me an idea about my destiny.”

“Oh sweet child of mine” Mom looked over to me lovingly “This test won’t give you any ideas on anything, trust me. Both times I had to go into intensive care to make sure I didn’t rupture my vial organs, thats how hard I went in. Just give it your all and just ride the wave that comes next.”

“Did you think you’d pass?”

Mom snickered “Nope! The second time was easier by a little bit but I just keep telling myself ‘whatever happens, happens’. I didn’t think passing would lead me to the agent position I’m at today! Same how I didn’t think that giving the class a cookie would lead to finding the love of my life. So don’t let the ‘what ifs’ rule your self-worth, life has a way of surprising you at the very last second.”

That made me feel better about things. I’m glad I decided to go home this weekend, because I know what to do now. 

-The next day, At Beizu’s house-

“...you still have this?” I said to Beizu as I was rummaging through his closet.

“Wha- oh that thing! Yea” he responded “You were my only friend in elementary school, so that graduation picture meant a lot to me.”

“Really? That’s why it’s framed” I looked closely at the picture of us holding hands “We look busted with all those missing teeth!”

“Don’t act like you didn’t cry every time you lost one” Beizu retorted back “Besides, it holds something more special to me...it was when I realized I loved you.”

I counted the years in my head “...damn, almost 6 years ago! Why so long?”

“I didn’t know if these were romantic feelings or not. And you did your own thing in middle school with band” he sighed and sat on the bed “I felt a little left behind and I tried really hard to stay in your interest. I wanted you to tell me I was yours, I didn’t care if that meant friend or lover” he turned red “It sounds silly now, but I was happy if you just said good morning or spent lunch with me.”

“Bei, you were always in my interest” I floated over to him “Nobody understood me like you did. You were never anything less than my best friend and it took some eye opening to see that we were basically lovers anyways.” I put my arm around his shoulders “Are you happy that we’ll basically wake up next to each other for the rest of our lives?”

“Are you kidding me?! It’s my dream come true!”

“Great! Just making sure” I kissed him bashfully “because I was getting ahead of myself and looking into apartments in Taito. We’ll be able to move in once I get possession of my inheritance money.”

“I don’t care if I have to wait until I’m on my death bed” he tackled me onto the bed “As long as I’m with you, anywhere is home.”

How everything was coming together nicely for us after UA. In between training and schoolwork, we looked at apartments online. Everyone was envious of us having things set afterwards, but to be honest, we only have an idea of things! We don’t know where exactly we’re going to work nor where to settle. It’s a bit bold to think our parents will give us work when we graduate. But I’m following my mom’s advice and just ‘riding the wave’ of what comes next.

-Fast forward, Mid October-

Beizu, Gee and I take advantage of the half-day of school by filling it with training in the disaster practice gym.

“Huh? The door is unlocked?” Gee said as she checked the door, key in hand “Did we come on the wrong day?”

“No, we have today reserved for us” Beizu pointed to the bulletin board next to the doors “See, we’re in the right.”

We walked on in and checked for anybody that straggled from the last session. But we found three people having banter on a rock.

“Remember the days of disaster training with sensei?!” said a familiar female voice.

“Ugh! Shut up or his ghost is gonna show up and bark at us to do wall sits” said another familiar male voice.

“Rich coming from someone that shat their pants the first time they shot a gun” shaded a Russian accent.

“Mom? Aunty and Uncle?” I spoke up as we got closer “What are you doing here? Aren’t you guys supposed to be agents today?”

“We came to interrogate the administrators here and since we finished early” Aunty Mimi explained “Your mom wanted to take a trip down memory lane. Back to the days of our youth.”

“Speak for yourself! I’m still nimble to go on a tussle like I did in high school” mom flexed her arms “They called me the sparring queen during my time here. I never lost a spar and I still maintain that streak.”

Uncle Jin rolled his eyes “Just because you still train like you’re gonna go to war! Bet you’ll get folded like an omelet if you did a one on one right now.”

“Alright bet!” Mom huffed at the challenge and pointed at me “Iwata, would you be a dear and spar mommy?”

“Oh shit your mom just challenged you” Gee gasped “What are you gonna do?”

“Fuckin fight I guess!” I said with my hands in the air “Let me stretch first though.”

Mom hopped and clapped “Yay! I’ll meet you in the circle in a bit sweetie.”

“Are- are they always like that?” Gee whispered to Beizu and I when the other three were out of earshot “I didn’t know your mom, aunt and uncle were so chummy with each other, like they’re teenagers.”

Beizu groaned into a sigh “All the time! You’re used to our aunt being on sensei mode when we do weapons class, but put them in the same room and they’re one bad decision away from throwing hands.”

“Don’t get us wrong! We love seeing them having fun” I say as I do my stretches “But when we get roped in, we don’t have the means to escape! And I can’t pass this up” I stretch my sides “I’ve NEVER sparred with my mom! She’s only quirk trained me but never the punchy stuff. I really want to see if I’m on par because we have the same quirk.”

We finally walked up to the sparring circle where the agent trio were still reminiscing.

“Ready to throw down nephew?” uncle Jin hyped me up “You’re in for the fight of your life!”

“Don’t scare him!” Mom scolded before dramatically pulling off her agent office uniform to reveal her two piece training clothes “I’d be shitting my pants if I had to fight my mom too. Your hype isn’t helping Jin.”

“Woah, your mom has an amazing physique!” gasped Gee, giving my mom the look over “And with the tattoos?! I can’t even tell if she gave birth to you. Man I hope to be that hot when I’m older.”

“I like your friend there Iwata, she knows what’s good” Mom said as she walked to the middle of the circle “Come now, step into the circle and show mommy what power my little baby boy can harness.”

I blushed hard as I walked up to her “Mom don’t coddle me in front of my team! So embarrassing!”

“Oop sorry baby!” she quickly covered her mouth “Force of habit!”

“Okay rules are first one to pin the other for the ten count is the winner. No weapons and no boundaries” Jin officiated “give the arm brace and assume the position.”

“What’s the arm brace? I only know about the bowing before starting” I whispered to my mom.

“Oh here, hold out your arm” she demonstrated then griped my tricep “now grip mine... there! This is how we show respect before an agent spar.”

I looked at our arms, then into her eyes. Those were the eyes of a woman that has 5 strategies ready to go to win. Those eyes has seen it all and isn’t afraid to do it all again. Wonder if she sees the anxiety in mine? I didn’t have the time to ponder these thoughts, the spar started and she didn’t let up. Immediately I felt the sting of a slap on my face, followed by the whoosh of her movement. What scared me a bit was that the whole time is was silent. Not a single grunt and her breathing was controlled, like she was conserving her energy. She dodged all of my attacks but didn’t land a single attack on me.

“Tired?” asked Mom as I stood to catch my breath.

“I can still fight” I wiped my forehead “hit me mom!”

The smirk that spread on her face was so wicked, I regretted my life because I just played into her trap.

“As you wish mijo!” Mom bellowed as she levitated herself up, followed by pistons jutting out of her body “Nothing personal Iwata” she pointed her palm at me, piston charging with energy “Mama isn’t ready to lose.”

And like the dumb ass I am, I charged right at her with my palm piston. And at the very last second...she grabbed me by the wrist with her other hand to seismic toss me onto the ground. I felt the weight of her foot on my back and knew that I was done for. My arm was locked and I was too tired to get back up, I saw uncle Jin’s feet near me.

“...8, 9, 10!” uncle Jin finished counting down “Winner is our undefeated Queen of Spars, Agent 19!”

“See? Told you I still got it!” She picked me up like when I was child “You okay? Did I hurt you?”

“No I’m okay” I responded to ease her worried tone “But I played right into your trap! You tired me out on purpose and edged me on to strike so I could lock my dominate arm. So simple but effective!”

Mom giggled “You’re so smart! I have a wicked high stamina and my quirk is amplified the more tired I am. So either way, my enemy isn’t leaving unscathed.”

“Wow! You’re absolutely incredible Mrs Iida!” fawned Gee “What else should we study before the test?”

“Just endurance and critical thinking” Mom responded “it’s that simple really. Wish the answer was more thought provoking or full of wisdom.” She looked at her watch “Well it was fun kids but we have to head back to our office to do all that boring office agent stuff.”

“Okay, bye mom! Bye Uncle and Aunty!” I chimed as I waved.

We watched them leave via portal and we continued with our training. I take the critical thinking part more seriously knowing that my mom applied it our spar. But I really don’t know if I’m going about it right! She makes it seem so easy and I wish I was at her level of super genius, big brain strategy.

-Day of Labyrinth practice exam-

“Bei, I’m shitting myself” I say as I finish suiting up “I’m so nervous that I just might anxiety shit myself.”

“That’s not a thing Iwa and you know it” Beizu responded as he finished lacing up his boots “Everything is going to go well! Watch, we’ll all pass and without intensive care afterwards.”

“I hope you’re right” I smiled at him “kiss me good luck?”

Beizu hopped and put his arms around my neck “Okay, one kiss. Then we go in the waiting chamber.”

Sooooo, things were not going well. Gee croaked at level 3 and Beizu didn’t even make it into the doors of the 5th level! He spent too much of his energy in level 4 that he passed out on the moving platform on the way to the next level. Now it’s up to me and I tried really hard not to tire myself out. I see where Gee failed in level 3, there was fast moving projectiles and she isn’t the fastest. Everything was going alright until the 5th level, my quirk stopped working and I panicked. There was nothing in the room and the exit door was locked. I had to think fast, what would I do if my siblings locked me in a room?

“Oh? Feeling trapped?” taunted someone that came into view “You can’t leave until you defeat me! But what is a quirkless agent going to do?!”

“I don’t need quirks” I reach for my gun and cock it “You really wanna fuck with me? I’m a child, WITH A FUCKING GUN! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?!”

The person was visibly nervous “Psh! I’ve seen plenty of gun fights!” they started to fumble their words “Come on, shoot me!”

“Naw, don’t feel like shooting you” I aim at the light fixtures on the ceiling “Eat broken light bulb BITCH!”

The lights went out and the sound of broken glass hitting the ground was oddly satisfying. I check to see I could use my quirks again and surely, I started floating. Once the door beeped to signal the level cleared, I made my dash to the next level before the final level. Next level wasn’t too hard, at least not for me, I knew how to swim and hold my breath for longer than 2 minutes. That would’ve sucked for anyone that didn’t know how to swim, gotta hand it to my mom for teaching all of us how to swim when we were kids. I get to the rescue part of the final level and it was fine until the ‘villain’ showed themselves.

“Not so fast agent! You’re forgetting someone important” said the villain as they walked into view.

“Nice try villain, all 8 hostages are safe and accounted for in rescuers care” I said smugly as I raised my gun at them “Lets make this quick.”

“I think you’ll want to put your gun down” the villain revealed someone tied up in a cage “You wouldn’t want to hurt my favorite prisoner.”

“Iwata, don’t shoot...please” said the hostage weakly.

I looked at the hostage closer and it’s...mom? That didn’t seem right to me. This person sounded like her and looks like her from the face. In fact, the whole room changed too! I was under some sort of illusion quirk and I didn’t want to risk shooting something that might cost me points. So I lowered my gun and started to scheme.

“Aww you don’t want to hurt mommy?” taunted the villain “To think that the hot shot agent, grown weak and aged terribly! Do something momma’s boy! Don’t you want to be a big shot agent like mommy? Or are you just as weak as she is?!”

I get an idea “Oye mama, tengo hambre!”

“What-” whispered the villain in panic.

“Que vas a cocinar hoy? Un pozole o taquitos?” I kept going, knowing that I threw the ultimate curve ball in this plan.

“I don’t understand you sweetie” responded fake mom “I’m so weak from my fight, that I lost.”

“That’s okay mommy” I smiled calmly “Will you sing me my favorite song? You’re never too tired to sing!”

“ENOUGH!” cried out the villain “make one wrong move, and I’ll kill her!” she took out a dagger.

“Okay then, fine” I stood completely still with my hands on my hips, ready to do plan B “I won’t move then.”

The villain was super confused on my erratic actions. But it was working because they started to pull back the illusion in the room. Once I saw the door, I knew that victory was in reach.

“We can stand here all day” said the villain bringing the dagger closer to fake mom’s throat “But think about your poor mother’s health! Do you really want her death on your conscience?”

“...any second now” I warned before I gave a content smile “You underestimate me villain! I’m not my mother, I am me! And I have a secret bio-weapon that I’ve just released into the room.”

“A bio-weapon?” the villain looked around frantically “I don’t- oh my- WHAT’S THAT HORRID STENCH?!”

I look at fake mom slowly fade and I knew that I was in the clear. The villain fell to their knees and vomited.

“Eat taser WHORE!” I said right before tasering them and put them in cuffs “do more research on our family next time and maybe this would’ve been a challenge!”

“LABYRINTH PRACTICE TEST CONCLUDED, AGENT 88 HAS CLEARED AND PASSED.”

The doors opened and I walked through to see my teammates, sensei and the test proctors waiting for me at the end of the hall.

“That was amazing!” cried out Gee “We saw everything on the proctor’s panels. How did you know that wasn’t your mom?”

“The person in the cage looked like my mom from the face but my mom is more petite,” I took my visor off “The one in the cage looked taller and didn’t have the big butt and thighs like my mom has.”

“Yo that spanish speaking was the biggest wildcard!” Beizu complimented “You knew that the villain had to break at that vital detail that they didn’t know. And that last line, chef’s kiss.”

“Aw shucks guys, I’m latino and can’t help but to be dramatic about it” I start blushing and acted coy “Kinda wish the illusion was more convincing though.”

“What was that ‘bio-weapon’ you released that made the villain basically pass out?” asked sensei “You don’t have the quirk that can do that.”

“Oh I farted” I confessed shamelessly “I’ve been holding that one in since I started the test...I also suggest decontaminating that room, my farts spread quickly and linger.”

Everyone but Beizu got visibly disgusted. Doesn’t matter because I passed and I can’t wait to tell my parents that I farted my way to victory. Nothing can stop me right now, I’m all the way up.

-Chapter 15, end-

<Previous-Next>

[vegetacide]

Tagged

Tagged by @gumnut-logic  :)

1. Would you rather accessorize with scarves or necklaces?

Scarves,  cause I like soft stuff to snuggle and hide my face in.

2. How old were you when you first saw mountains? (Or if you haven’t seen mountains, what do you imagine they’re like?)

Smokey Mountains on a road trip... erm.. in my mid teens I guess...

3. Do you make your bed in the morning?

It a habit I recently started when we first went on lock down to help me get my day started... prior to that.. hell no as I would just be crawling back into them later.

4. What type of stories did you like as a child?

Book wise when I was little.. anything my Dad would read to me at bedtime...As a teenager it was Sci-fi, fantasy and romance and hopefully all in the same book. 

5. What was the most exhilarating experience of your life?

Hmm ...no idea so will pick some at experience at random... sailing through a sun shower in St. Thomas on one of our honeymoon excursions to see sea turtles in their natural habitat. ...

Snorkeling for the first time in the ocean..

Skiing down a winter slope when I was a kid and somehow not managing to kill myself (I suck at skiing) 

First day we brought my daughter home from the hospital.. feels surreal as I sit here to think the 5 year old softly snoring beside me was once sooooo small and it was ONLY 5 SHORT YEARS AGO.  Dude, when they say the little years go by fast.. they weren’t kidding..

Oh.. and of course walking down the isle and somehow not tripping over my feet and face planting in front of my family and friends as I was shaking like a leaf caught in a hurricane having a mild panic attack and worried I was going to fuck up somehow.

Okay, so the last one was more terrified than exhilarating but.. meh...

6. Do you agree with the concept of exotic pets?

Here in North America... if the thing was born in the wild.. it should stay in the wild...unless under the extreme circumstances of animal rescue when the animal can’t be returned to the wild..   If it was breed in captivity and is not on the endangered species list and wont eat you or rip your face off...say like a hedge hog which is oddly enough considered exotic where I am.. then its okay but only if the owner can provide a loving, healthy home.  (wolf hybrids,  tigers, ligers, and other exotic large cats are the exceptions as no one can care for them properly unless specialized training has taken place and you have like a billion acres of land for them...basically any animal that has not been domesticate over hundreds of years ... leave em alone... )

7. Describe your feelings about maths.

Necessary evil...enough said. 

8. When was the last time you finished a book?

Do audio books count? If so.. in March right before lock down.  Listened to a lot of books on my travels to and from work..   Currently I am able to actually pick up a hard copy and I am working my way through Crazy, Rich Asians.   Good book!

9. What’s a small way that you’ve been kind recently?

All the things I have done recently have just been what is expected of a normal human being with responsibilities so I cant really say.. erm.. made an extra meat loaf for my Dad so I know he is eating well... collected his beer bottles for return cause they just started excepting them again.. 

Started making my husband lunch as he was recalled to work... Do his laundry cause he usually does it for himself...

I haven’t really be out much in the world lately and as I said.. basic stuff. 

10. What new hobby/activity have you always wanted to try?

And got to the bottom and I think I fucked this up... oh well.. lmao.. so on to the questions I was supposed to answer...ooopppsss..  gonna leave the other answers above cause I spent the time to write em.. 

Oooh, and now I have to ask questions…

1. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?  

Falling Lakes aka  Plitvice Lakes National Park  in Croatia cause it looks beautiful and would be the closest thing on Earth to being in a fantasy novel..  

2. Favourite pasta shape?  

No favourite shape.. just spoon sized cause spaghetti is messy

3.What do you need to do everyday to keep your mind and body working well?

Wake up... lmao

4. First ever fandom and why? How old were you?

This is a surprisingly hard question to answer as I have loved many things over the years.. I have always loved cartoons going back as far back as I can remember and later in life comic books and anime  so will answer this by first fanfictions  and first community.... 

Well.. first fanfiction i got hooked on reading was for Sailor Moon..age..erm... high school so like maybe grade 9ish..  At that point I had always loved cartoons but Sailor Moon really sucked me in. 

First I wrote and will never see the light of day... Biker Mice From Mars and/or G.I.Joe...cant rightly remember which came first and I am a huge Snake Eyes fan.  

First posted... DBZ I believe under another name.. and ermm.. no, I wont tell. 

First community I joined... Dragon Ball Z on here in fact.. and within the last few years.   I am still a DBZ fan but I jumped the fandom community wagon and joined up with a bunch of Thundernerds and completely fell down the rabbit hole.

And I am being vague about the age for a reason.. lol   

5.Deserted beach or snazzy night club?

Beach! 100% Sand between the toes,  the sound of the water lapping up the shore.. the smell of the salt in the air.. the sun on my back and my sandals dangling from my finger tips.. ahhhh perfection. 

6. Do you find it easier to talk to people online or offline?

Online.. cause there is security in anonymity. 

7. What do you think is the aim in your life? What do you ultimately want to achieve?

Wow.. talk about a soul baring question.. lmao.. I don’t know.. to be remembered and looked back on kindly.   To be better then those before me and to not make the same mistakes.. to be a good mom to my daughter and to not fuck her up to bad. (I answered this one out of order.. meh)   

8. Coolest Thunderbird

....well this one should be an obvious answer. lol

9. What is your absolute favourite topic to talk about?

My interests.. which are vast and varied. 

10. Do you have an embarrassing story to share?

How I fucked up this questionnaire.. lol 

okay so now for questions to ask,..if I understand this right that is what i am supposed to do now... hmm

1. Favourite dessert.

2. What would you rather...fine dining or eating around a camp fire?

3.  Favourite past time outside of here?

4. If you were a video game character, who would you be? Why?

5. Flight or invisibility? 

6. In the case of a zombie apocalypse what would be your escape plan and what would you do to survive? 

7. If you could go on a road trip anywhere in the world.. where would you go and what car would you be driving? 

8. Who would be in the seat beside you? 

9.  What would you rather... watch a thunderstorm or close the blinds

10. What 10 questions would you come up with if you could ask anyone anything?  (Ya, I so cheated there mu ha ha a ha) 

Feel free to answer.. or not. Open to anybody just copy and paste the last 10 questions.. not the whole thing like I did... oops... cause that would be wrong.. Oh and if you made it all the way down here after this long ass ramble .. GOLD STAR FOR YOU!  :) 

[robotnikfucker]

10 Questions Tag Game

I’ve been tagged by @jimbotniks​

Rules: Answer the 10 questions, ask a different 10 questions, and tag 10 people

(Small warning, I have ADHD and just took my meds so this is a little ramble-y and disjointed. I apologize, there is no way to fix this, my brain is just like that oops. For courtesy, I’ve put all the long stuff under the cut so you only have to read my monologue if you want to.)

1. What is your favorite genre of music? Why?

Probably indie-rock and indie punk. I like indie-rock largely because my favorite shows in my formative years were Chuck, Bones and a couple other “golden era” crime dramas that all featured a lot of indie-rock music in the background. Indie punk appeals to me because it’s just a good catharsis while also being pretty damn dance-able. Kiwi Jr and AJJ are both really good bands if you need to just let it all out while jamming to some bops.

2. What’s an art project you’ve made that you’re proud of?

I draw angels frequently, often depicting them as humanoid but still terrifying. This was an art theme that I’ve had going since before I was religious and I find that “angelic” imagery can sometimes leak into my other art so a lot of my favorite art is drawings of wings, gore, monsters and all kinds of Gothic themes. Right now, I have a watercolor of Virginia Madsen that I’m just in love with. I was always enchanted by her hypnotized stare in Candyman and I did my best to capture that. I even went out with my girlfriend to buy a gold gel pen so her tears would glitter. From theme to technical prowess, it’s my favorite painting right now and possibly my magnum opus. My previous best was a gore heavy, similarly angel themed, digital painting of Roger Wilco from the Space Quest games (weird special interests, I know.) I could go on about drawings I love for hours, so I’ll cut myself off here with the small post script that this is just my visual art and I also have poetry and prose that I feel similarly about.

3. Do you have a favorite album/podcast to put on in the background while you work or study?

It all really depends on my mood. My girlfriend shared a really relaxing Sovietwave playlist with me recently that I’ve been enjoying. I also listen to a lot of AJJ and Saint Motel, I don’t really think I could really pin down a specific album for either of them. The Candyman soundtrack works really well for study especially for my Gothic and Mystery class. I have a playlist titled Fuck Funk that’s specifically for writing fanfiction since I could never find a good playlist for writing smut when I needed it but I also use that playlist to work out since it’s mostly just a healthy mix of songs that I can jam to. I’ve never liked podcasts for study/work since I can’t really write and listen at the same time but I did make a podcast once for a professor that was a radio-play style parody of Scooby-Doo. I did all of the editing and I still listen back over it and pat myself on the back for turning 2 hours of raw improv into something that got us like a 98. A lot of my own music taste peaks through.

4. If you could become the protagonist/antagonist of any media franchise, which one would you pick and why?

Realistically, Animal Crossing because that’s the safest bet least likely to lead to my death. If we’re gonna get wild... probably BJ Blazkowicz from Wolfenstein so I could kick some N*zi ass or Conan Edogawa/Jimmy Kudo from Case Closed/Detective Conan so I could enjoy that sweet mid 90′s aesthetic.

5. Can you play any instruments? which ones?

I can, actually, I’ve played cello since I was 8 (I’m 18 now) although I’m a little rusty. I played piano and drums for a while and while I’m pretty useless when it comes to piano these days, I still maintain a pretty firm grip on my sense of time and rhythm thanks to the years I spent playing percussion. I played bari sax in middle and high school. I marched it for 3 years until I had a back injury but I was in jazz band all 4 years of high school so I was still playing. I was also in choir for a very long time and even spent my junior and senior years in an acapella Madrigal choir (I still have my costumes from both years) and even though it hasn’t been a whole year since I graduated, I still miss singing. I certainly don’t miss high school but I do miss that choir.

6. Do you collect anything? If so, what?

Not sure if this counts but I’ve been an achievement hunter/completionist since I played Ocarina of Time so I guess I “collect” video game achievements. I also collect lost things when I find them. I have an abandoned library card, two different gym membership cards, and a whole bunch of business cards. I have a small collection of lighters but that’s less about the joy of collecting and more about how often I burn incense. Aside from the usual stuffed animal collection that most people have from childhood, I don’t collect anything else.

7. How many songs are there in your music library?

This is kinda difficult for me to answer. I use Spotify and I don’t always download my music since I have unlimited data, but it currently says that I have 1070 “liked” songs which is likely a little conservative since I had to switch accounts last year and lost some of my music in the process. (This just got me thinkin, back in the iTunes era when songs were 99cents a pop I would have had to pay more than a thousand dollars for that kind of collection.)

8. If you could live anywhere in the world, and at any time in history, where and when would you choose?

So, by any time in history do you mean only the past or the future too? If future is an acceptable answer, I’m gonna say Star Trek. Like if Star Trek ever becomes vaguely reality, I’m going there. Even if the details are wrong, a career as a science officer on a space ship in a universe that isn’t constantly at war and is instead working towards peace and the pursuit of higher knowledge is perfect. If we’re only talking about the past, with no allowances for possible futures, then I think I’d want to live in the 80s in a metropolitan city like New York, Chicago, or Tokyo. Perhaps its misplaced nostalgia, but working as a secretary sounds nice. In the 80s you could still outright buy an apartment instead of renting it and it was actually semi-affordable (at least for the privileged) which as someone facing adulthood in the current economy, sounds like a dream come true. I guess I just want the simplicity and security of economy back then. Lookin for that yuppie life!

9. Have you ever performed live in front of an audience?

I have, several times. Although I’ve never been a headliner or anything I’ve played and sang at school concerts (even had a few solos) and my jazz band once performed for a dance hall full of people. I’ve never been paid unless you count getting a free CD but I’ve performed in front of quite a few live audiences.

Anyway, Jimbotnik didn’t write a tenth question so I guess I get an out. I’m sorry for my rambling answers, that’s just life. I’m gonna tag @jasminerobotnik @zoekrystall @rohotnik since y’all are my Sonic blog mutuals (like my header implies, I keep my main and this side blog separate for privacy’s sake) I’m also tagging @actsoflove @manicrobotnik @dusicielkusiciel @hamil-trash24 @lee-bunny @legally-immortal and @wutevrz

If you’re confused as to why I tagged you, I don’t have many mutuals so I picked followers who I’d seen some interaction from. You don’t have to play if you don’t want to and I’ll delete your tag if you’d prefer. As usual with these games, it’s also open to anyone who wants to get one of these started among their group so if you’re reading this post and wish you’d been tagged, that’s you.

My questions:

Do you wear glasses/contacts? If you wear glasses do you like how they look on you?

Do you have a playlist of music that’s just for when you’re sad? What are your favorite songs from it?

Is there a skill you consider yourself particularly good at?

If you’re the kind of person who uses a reusable water bottle, do you decorate it? If not, what is your favorite drink day to day?

Do you drink diet soda or can you not tolerate the taste?

Do you write fanfiction? What fandoms and genres? Do you share your fic with people you know in real life?

What’s your favorite scent? Do you often buy scented products like incense or candles?

Do you like scary movies? If so, what’s your favorite? If you don’t, what is your favorite genre of films?

What’s your go to movie snack when you’re watching in a theater? What about when you’re watching a movie at home?

What’s your favorite “medium” for art (sculpture, dance, music, painting, drawing, poetry etc.) and which one do you feel most adept at?

[6ad6ro]

just a lil warning this post is a journey and gets a little dark. as in i will be making fun of some pathetic dude who wrote some rly offensive stuff. enjoy.

sooooo i recently was revisiting the dead or alive series. i played thru doa dimensions (it’s like a best-of abridged compilation of the first 4 games) and had a ton of fun. it’s been forever since i payed attention to doa, and i had forgotten how much i loved 2 and 3 way back when! i’m prob gonna get doa5lr next time im out, and 6 looks rly cool w all the changes! um i should prob say that i actually like the cute girls n char designs etc? but i could also care less that tittyanime element was (allegedly) toned down for 6 (it looks same to me lol). they went overboard w that kinda content in 5 so it’s a smart idea tbh. anyways it still looks v fun and this isn’t even the point of the post. see i was lookin up stuff about the content in 5 bc it has all these dif versions and it’s confusing? and suddenly i found this rly obnoxiously clickbaity title in one of the results. much like videos of people roadraging on youtube, i’m ashamed to say... cleeeek.

at first i was like “wait did they actually remove content”? i know 5 went way too far w that stuff lol but i didn’t know this kinda stuff went down? did sony ban costumes for bein too pervy like that’s crazy!

oh no no no nm. this was written by a liar and was titled specifically to trick ppl into thinking what i thought. in reality it was just some post whining about how a private tournament requested (not even forced) ppl to tone down on a few specific overly sexy costumes. so that ppl took it more seriously as a competitive fighter, rather than keeping the reputation as waifubuttonmasher.  and most of the costumes were still fine to use too! like there’s... omg are there over 1,000 outfits in this?? what the heck... anyways pretty reasonable and nbd right? but err no bc this article was written by a dude who literally typed out  “muh-soggy-knee istic”. like yes he actually wrote that out and emphasized it with italics like wow. i’m starting to get an idea of the type of person he is. and why something so minor as this would hurt his feelings so much.

oh my god is this a parody article? is this a joke?? i’m...

well tbh the sexy stuff def wasn’t the only appeal like it was just an aspect of an otherwi..................... HOLD THE FORT what the fuck did he just write!? wowww that’s like suuuuper offensive holy shit lol. no no fuck this dude. and oh god there’s one of the famous telling buzzwords too: “females”. christ.

listen. i’m a very devout pacifist. i’m passionately against violence. but i want to kick the shit outta this dude.

ahahah okay okay that made me laugh. i’m back. these fucking weirdo incel nazis are just so robotic? parodies of human beings with a four word vocabulary. u know the ones: CENSORSHIP! SJWS! FEMALES! ANITASARKEESIAN!

there he is! he looks sad tbh... i mean i don’t feel sorry for him bc he took all his his sadness and anger and... instead of seeing a therapist? he decided to be mortally afraid of women and “the gays” etc. and *laughing as i write this* become a serious video game journalist ehehe. great job, dude. seriously tho i hope u get actual help bc ur very confused about a lot of things... wait actually why the fuck is he talking about anita anyhow? err how old is this article? oh oops. stupid google. i rly need to start filtering stuff by date........ march 2015. god wasn’t that when the gamergaters were in full swing? and still pretending they cared about “journalistic integrity” rather than just openly hating any and all minorities? even so this article is pretty extreme for some poorly designed noname game website.

NEVERMIND! this whole site is a toilet. wow like this sucks. like suuuper ew. thanks google. like i’m sorry i’d better write a lil warning at the start of this post bc this shit is fucking gross........... annnnd done. apologies to anyone reading this. anyways THANKFULLY one of the top 5 posts ended up being a really really exciting and interesting one!

thank you jesus. um i didn’t want to look into this site anymore bc it was clear it was some long-dead edgelord clickbait dumpsterfire and there wouldn’t have been a point. also i didn’t wanna depress myself any more. so like the good smart person i am (def not dumb), i did exactly the opposite and started reading that goodbye article.

oh so you were “surprised” your “vision” didn’t go over well? maybe don’t make a hate site dipshit. maybe don’t exploit prejudice to make ur money. fucking imbecile. slug. and AHA see see i fucking knew it. gamergate. lol. god damnit...

...”masculine men” lol what the fuck OH WAIT OH NOOOOOO OH GOD it’s THIS fuckin dude? NOOOOO what the fuck this guy is like one of the biggest pieces of shit on the planet! i can’t believe i accidentally was on some site by the return of kings guy. oh goddamn... no fucking wonder. i have nothing else to say. this journey couldn’t have ended any worse lol. post is cancelled.

[elcorhamletlive]

fandom: MCU ship: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark tags: Crack/Fluff/Humor

(inspired by this post)

“How are we doing, J?”

“Everything in order, Sir.” The robotic voice of the A.I. echoed on the room. “The laser is ready for activation.”

Tony turned on his chair, eyeing the monitor. There it was, right on the wall, in all his star-spangled glory: Captain America, also known as Steve Grant Rogers, also known as Tony Stark’s biggest nemesis.

As a villain, Tony wasn’t a big believer in maintaining long-term rivalries with heroes. He had heard enough horror stories of villains who got so caught up in defeating their counterparts their plans ended up slacking, turning lazy. Having a designated hero to fight could seem simpler in the surface, but in the long term, it just got messy. And if there was one thing Iron Man, twice-named most influential villain of the world by People’s magazine (take that, Gotham city), definitely didn’t need, was for his plans to get messy because of heroes who couldn’t stop sticking their noses where they didn’t belong.

However.

The Captain had been a different case. They came across each other by complete coincidence – Tony was running a very common world domineering plot, definitely not one of his most inspired works, and the Captain showed up with a few people from his team, What’s-His-Name and What’s-His-Name-With-Wings. To Tony’s surprise, the Captain cracked the steps of his plan easily, managing to surprise him when he marched into Tony’s lair, shield in hand, strong posture and confident voice as he turned his azure eyes towards Tony and proclaimed: Nowhere to run, Iron Man.

It had been rivalry at first sight.

Tony tried to fight it, but as time went by, it was impossible to ignore. Captain America was the embodiment of everything Tony disliked – he was a model hero, fighting for freedom, justice, and protecting and helping the weaker. He fought against Tony’s evil plans so valiantly: He’d charge into battle majestically, stronger and braver than any hero Tony had ever seen, and Tony would feel a rush inside his chest, presumably of joy of finally finding a worthwhile opponent. Other costumed clowns had attempted to stop Tony before, of course, but none of them had ever succeeded, and none of them were able to catch Tony’s intere- Ahem, hatred, the way the Captain did.

Tony rested his chin on his hands, watching as the Captain struggled on the table. It had taken a while to get him there. He had fought Tony’s bots admirably. It was always such an incredible display of a mix of grace and power, the way the man moved, effortlessly defeating enemies Tony knew an army would have a hard time dealing with.

Now, though, he was trapped, held down by separate gauntlets of Tony’s suits. Still, he didn’t give up, constantly struggling. Always so stubborn. Tony took a sharp breath, taking in the Captain’s endless determination. God, he was so…

“Sir?” Jarvis’ voice interrupted his thoughts. “Perhaps you should proceed with the plan?”

Oh. Oh yeah. The plan. Tony pushed a button on his panels, activating the laser beam. It was programmed to keep moving through the room, starting at the wall on the far end opposite to where the Captain was trapped, until it reached him. The energy levels were lethal – not even a super soldier would be able to survive it.

“Five minutes now, Cap,” Tony said on the mic. It had been a fairly clichéd plan, he had to admit – the good old oh no, there’s a bomb in the building – oops, not really, and now you’re trapped in my lab play. But Tony preferred to think of it as a classic.

The Captain frowned, scrunching his nose. It was cute, in a very hateful way. Tony adjusted his HD resolution of the video feed to see better.

He was pleased by the fact that his choice of an underground isolated bunker had, apparently, been processed by the Who-Cares-If-It-Even-Has-A-Name organization the Captain worked for as a stealth mission. That meant the Captain was wearing his stealth suit, the dark-blue uniform that fitted his body perfectly. That was just according to Tony’s plan, because the suit made the Captain look… Very, uh, very…

Vulnerable to Tony’s evil weapons. Yeah, that was it.

“Iron Man.” The Captain looked around, immediately finding the main camera. Tony bit his lower lip. So fucking smart. The bastard. “It doesn’t have to be this way.”

“Oh, come on, Cap, you’ve got better lines than this.” Tony grinned, making sure the monitor camera was catching his best angle. He had spent a long time trimming his goatee in the morning and picking out a lovely red tie that he knew complimented his skin tone.

What? Looking good for one’s nemesis was basic courtesy.

For a moment, the Captain didn’t say anything. His expression was a bit strange, but his body kept struggling (Jesus, that suit was fitted. Whoever designed the uniforms at Don’t -Give-a-Fuck-About-The-Place was a pervert).

“I just don’t understand why you keep doing this,” The Captain said. His voice was strangely low, as if he was thinking aloud.

Tony felt confused. The laser had moved a few inches by now, and, while no self-respecting hero would ever cave into full terror, Tony expected a more enthusiastic response. A rivalry was a two-way street, and, in order to allow it to bloom, Tony needed the Captain’s feedback to his plans. Some amount of fear or tension was to be expected, while facing a respectable villain plot. However, for someone who would die in less than five minutes if they didn’t find a way to get untied, the Captain seemed almost… Calm.

Tony frowned. Could the Captain be… Bored? The thought made Tony’s stomach clench. Sure, it wasn’t the most original plan in the book, but Tony had thought the execution would be enough to provide a good challenge. Had he misread it? Maybe the Captain wasn’t very intrigued by the classic villain aesthetic. Suddenly, Tony wished he had shaved his goatee.

“I’m a villain, that’s what I do, buddy,” Tony blurted, and, God, that was such terrible banter. What was he doing? At this rate, the Captain wouldn’t want to deal with his schemes in the future anymore. God, he’d probably send the Wings guy to handle Tony – or, worse, he’d move on to attempt to defeat all those other classless, tacky villains who kept fighting for his attention, like that ridiculous Batroc or the creeper with the red face. None of them were good enough to provide the Captain with a decent challenge, they’d just hold him back.

The Captain’s expression was impossible to read. “You know, Iron Man, with a mind like yours, you could actually do some good.”

The compliment sent a burst of relief over Tony’s chest. His face was also strangely warm, presumably because of a healthy amount of purely professional pride. “Well, Cap, I think we both know that-“

“What is this table made of?”

Tony raised his eyebrows. The Captain had never seemed curious about his design choices before.

“The trap table is perfectly covered by the softest synthetic material, originated from pure Peruvian cotton,” Jarvis chimed in.

Tony wished he hadn’t said anything. Jarvis had argued against the changes to the table, saying it would be a waste of time resources, but that was a total overreaction, Tony thought. Sure, he had spent some money on it – yeah, maybe a few thousand more than it was strictly necessary, but, well, it wasn’t like he had to save on infrastructure. Besides, the other table had been so… Cold and impersonal. This time, the Captain was going to be held down for a while. There was no point in making it uncomfortable. Tony wasn’t a monster.

“It’s really soft,” the Captain whispered. “Softer than last time.”

“Uh,” Tony said. “Thanks,” he blurted, for some reason, and the Captain’s mouth curved in a smile. Tony felt a weird rush on his chest, and looked away, checking the timer. “Three minutes now, buddy.”

To his complete surprise, the Captain sighed. “Is this really necessary?”

Tony blinked. “What?”

“This.” the Captain apparently tried to move his arms to gesture around, but the armor secured him further. “I’m trapped. Can’t you just shoot me?”

Tony’s eyes widened. “I. Uh, that’s…” He said, his head spinning. What was the Captain talking about? And why wasn’t he focusing on disabling the laser bean?

“Uh,” Tony cleared out his throat, attempting to gather his thoughts. “Not that I wouldn’t love to melt you immediately, Spangles, but unfortunately, there’s not enough energy to make the laser move faster.”

“Actually, sir, there is,” Jarvis interjected. “We could easily revert the power used in other less necessary functions.”

“What?” Tony asked, feeling betrayed. “Less necessary functions? What less necessary functions?”

Tony had the impression that, if Jarvis could grit his teeth, he would have. “Superficial features, sir.”

“Such as?”

“The ambient music, the water fountain on the background, and the artistic lightning system set up to hit Captain Rogers’ hair.”

Oh. Tony blinked slowly. “Those… Those are aesthetic choices. They… They’re important.”

On the screen, the Captain’s mouth curled again. It was really distracting.

“In fact, sir, they aren’t,” Jarvis said, sound strangely tired. “Removing them would allow us to use their power to force the laser bean to move more efficiently, killing Captain Rogers instantly.”

“Wow, wow, wait a minute,” Tony said. “There’s no need to do that. I mean,” He scrambled his brain for something say. “It’s… It’s more fun to watch him going down slowly.”

Giving Jarvis the ability to sigh was a mistake. “Sir, the plan is bound to fail.”

“What? No, it isn’t. He’s trapped.”

“No, he isn’t,” Jarvis insisted. “If he manages to wriggle his body slightly to the left, he will be within the magnetic reach of his shield, allowing him to summon it and get rid of the gauntlets restraining him.”

“Jarvis!” Tony exclaimed. “You’re – how can you…”

“I think what Jarvis means,” the Captain interjected. ”Is that you’re not really trying to kill me. If you were, you’d have already done it.”

“Thank you, Captain,” Jarvis traitorously replied. “Sir, not only could you easily kill Captain Rogers now, but you could have killed him at least a hundred and eight times during the past month.” As Tony gaped in indignation, he added: “I’m afraid this situation can’t keep going any longer. It is against the principles of my programming to keep designing deliberately inefficient plants, sir.”

“Deliberately– what are you implying– He is my mortal enemy, of course I’m trying to kill him–“

“Well,” the Captain interrupted, sounding strangely casual. “I’m not trying to kill you,” His blue eyes looked away from the camera, fixating in the ceiling, while a slight smile formed on his lips. “Haven’t even been really trying to arrest you, lately.”

Tony stared at the monitor in complete shock. “What? No way,” He babbled. “You – you live for arresting bad guys.”

“Yeah,” the Captain nodded. “But you’re not really a bad guy, are you? I mean,” – he turned back to the camera, with an almost amused expression – “you don’t target anyone except me. And none of your plans ever hurt any civilians.”

Tony felt his face warming. “What the hell are you talking about? You don’t see me as threat, Rogers?”

“To the world? No. Not at all.”

“Then why the hell are you still here?”

To Tony’s surprise, a slight flush spread over the Captain’s cheeks. It… Wasn’t a bad look on him.

“To be honest, fighting your evil plans is the most fun I’ve ever had in this century. I… I’m not very good at relaxing.” He said, a little sheepish. “But decrypting your codes, fighting your bots, figuring out your schemes… Makes me really happy.”

Oh. Oh.

Tony’s hand touched his chest. Was he… Was that really what seemed to be happening?

“Your hero antics make me happy too,” He managed to say, his eyes finding the Captain’s through the monitor. “I… I like your catchphrases.”

“I like your monologues,” The Captain replied, with a gorgeous smile on his lips.

“I like your inspiring speeches,” Tony blurted. He felt the Captain’s eyes staring deeply into his through the screen, his heart fluttering on his chest under that deep blue gaze…

“Thirty seconds for the laser to reach Captain Rogers’ body, sir.”

“Oh, shit,” Tony said, snapping back to reality abruptly, reaching forward to turn off the gauntlets, which loosened their grip on the Captain’s limbs, letting him go. “Sorry, Cap.”

“Call me Steve,” he said, that lovely flush on his cheeks deepening slightly. “I’d, uh. I’d really like that.”

“Steve,” Tony echoed, a bit ridiculously, true, but the name sounded wonderful leaving his mouth. “You, uh. You can call me Tony, too. If you want to.”

Steve stood up, facing the camera. He pressed his lips together, seeming a little giddy, when noise started coming from his comm device. Tony immediately regretted not breaking it. “Well. I guess I should be going now,” he said, picking up his shield from the floor.

“Oh.” Tony said, a little disappointed. “Okay. I guess I… Will see you on my next evil plan?”

“Yeah,” Steve breathed. “Though, uh…” He bit his lower plush lip, making Tony forget the basic fundaments of human language. “Maybe your next evil plan could be, hm, this Friday? There’s a restaurant a couple blocks from Shield that’s very, uh… vulnerable.”

“Sounds great. Yeah,” Tony blurted, and Steve’s face brightened wonderfully. “I could start putting my evil schemes in motion at around… Seven?”

“Seven, seven works,” Steve nodded, a bit breathless.

Tony grinned wildly. “This time, Captain,” He said, exaggerating his voice in a cartoonish tone. “You won’t be able to get away from me.”

He was expecting Steve to laugh, but as he turned, his smile was more sly than anything. “I’m counting on it.”