#Here you really see Iwa embracing what his mom taught him while staying true to himself and I love to see it
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bolbianddolanhouse · 4 years ago
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BNHA self insert AU [Book 3]
New? Read here! Then here!
Chapter 15: Why Do We Live? Just To Suffer?!
Beizu and I didn’t waste any time trying to escape for the weekend! It was our weekend! We agreed to go to our parent’s homes and hang out from there. I get home and nobody was there as expected. Saturdays are hang out days for the kids and short work days for mom and dad. I slam myself onto my bed, as I missed sleeping on my very comfy mattress. The dorm beds SUCK! I get coffee from the kitchen after a while and floated around.
“Hey Muffins, update me on the household since the last time I was here” I called out to the resting robo on the couch.
“It’s been 115 days since you’ve last been home, there’s been 4 fires and 7 gatherings at the house.” the robo listed “20 pictures has been added to the family virtual library. Mom didn’t celebrate her birthday. There’s been 2 lockdowns at the house, Tensei went to debate nationals in March, Hanaka got suspended from school that same week. Lili has video called every night for the past 2 months. And that’s up to date.”
“Only 4 fires? Huh” I took a sip of my coffee “Thank you for the update, whats the ETA for anybody?”
“Hanaka and Dad are due to come back from the doctors at 1pm”
“Doctors?” I whispered to myself “She never gets sick, hope she’s okay.”
It may not be obvious, but Hanaka used to latch onto me when she was a baby. She’d cry when I don’t acknowledge her before I leave the house and set my sweater sleeves on fire if I don’t hold her right away. She’s very much the little, bratty sister type but I still worry. She depends a lot on family support because of her fire quirk, it makes it very hard to live a normal life. Wonder if that’s the cause? I wait around and see them come through the door but it feels so off. Hanaka goes straight to her room in silence, ignoring the fact that I’m in sight.
“Hello Iwata, how was your trip home?” Dad said once Hanaka was in her room.
“It was fine but what’s up with her?” 
Dad sighed “She had an episode where she couldn’t control her fire. Nobody got hurt but it happened at school and the school made it a big deal out of it, calling her a delinquent.”
“So what’s the diagnosis?” I asked, processing what dad told me.
“Anxiety trigger, the mix of her quirk and puberty hormones are making her unstable” Dad sets down his keys to wipe his glasses “I really don’t know what to do. And I’m scared its going to be like when your mom gets unstable.”
“Wait, mom gets unstable?” that was news to me. I know of mom losing her temper when she was younger but getting unstable?!
Dad nodded and put his glasses back on “It happens when she overworks and stresses out. Once I triggered the breaking point and I got hit by her psych-blast. If your uncle Jin didn’t set up the robo to sedate her at the right moment, she could’ve died.”
I looked toward the top of the stairs “Well you’ve dealt with mom’s and mine anxiety things, how is this any different?”
“You and your mom have the same quirk and therapy has helped you two” dad started “Your sister doesn’t have the same quirk to body part association. How do you contain a fire that water doesn’t douse nor can be snuffed out? I want to help, I know how much she wants to live a normal life.”
“Leave it to me then” I said confidently “Lili isn’t here to do a girl talk, but I’m here to do a big brother support conversation! Maybe I’ll break through to her, who knows?”
“If you feel like it will help” Dad smiled “then go and talk to her. I’ll be down here making lunch.”
I make my way to the girls room. Before I could even knock, I heard her deep and heavy sobs. It was unsettling as I’ve never heard her sob like this. I knock on the door.
“Can I come in?”
“No”
“Why?”
“I don’t wanna talk about things!”
“I don’t wanna talk” I shake my bag of snacks “I just wanna share cheetos with my little sister.”
“...what kind of cheetos?”
“Hot con límon.”
“...okay you may enter.”
I open the door to see Hanaka in a blanket burrito, mouth and nose peeking out. Trying not to laugh at the sight, I sit next to her bed on the floor and open the bag of cheetos. I float them between us so she could get some without reaching too far. We just sat there in silence for a while until she spoke up.
“Iwa, do you think I’m a bad person?”
I look over to see her face peeking out “No.”
“Do you think anybody would love me? Romantically?”
Oh its that kind of conversation “I believe there’s somebody for everybody.”
“It’s just that, I confessed to somebody and they said so many mean things” her lips started to quiver “Like I’m weird looking, my quirks are weird, that my fire quirk makes it so it burns to hold my hand and who would want to love me if they can’t hold my hand.”
“Well that’s rude! They should’ve just said no and be on their way!” I never wanted to punch a child so much in my life.
“What was worse was that all his friends were there to laugh at me and it attracted more kids to poke fun at me” Hanaka got teary eyed “And I just couldn’t take it, I got all shakey and just combusted into flames. The flames were strong enough to set the play yard on fire. Nobody got hurt but it was still scary.”
“Nobody helped you afterwards?”
“Tensei, Petti and Kyanka covered me until a teacher came” she wiped her tears with the blanket “But I caused so much trouble and it really upset the people in the office. They called me a bad kid and that it wouldn’t surprise them if I became a villain.”
Oh hell no, that school is on my hit list for saying something like that to a child! “Fuck that school! You know what Hanaka, you’re not a bad kid, okay? And you are capable of love and people love you back, do you think Tensei and your friends would do that if they didn’t love you?”
Hanaka sniffed “No...”
“Would you do the same for them if their quirk got out of hand?”
“Yeah! Of course I would!” she responded passionately “I’m their best friend, and friends don’t let friends do things alone!”
“See?! You’re not a bad kid, you love your friends and family” I encouraged her “You can worry about romantic love later, the one will come around soon enough. Right now just focus on school work and being a good friend.”
Hanaka loosened the grip she had on the blanket so it unfurled around her “I guess that does make me feel a bit better” she brought her knees up to her chest “But now I don’t even know if I’m going back to that school. Mommy got really upset like you did at the school office that she’s fighting with the school officials.”
“Wow, good on mom to stand up for you!” I gave props “I’d do the same. But lets not worry about that and trust in mom to make the right move. So, lets change the subject! What’s new?”
Hanaka blew her nose and disposed of her now highly flammable tissue “Uhhh, I made a new friend. Which so happens to be the daughter of one of mom and dad’s hero classmates.”
“Oh that’s tea, who?!” I was intrigued by that second part.
“Her dad is ‘Can’t Stop Twinkling’ the Sparkling Hero” she explained “She was the new girl at school this year and she’s just like me and the girls!”
Her usual giddy self came back, warming my heart “And what’s that?”
“We hate our hero dads, love shopping and wanna be goth” she grabbed her phone to show me her lock screen “See? That’s us right before that juice stand behind us caught on fire.”
“Did you-”
“I don’t think I was responsible for that fire” she clarified “We booked it just in case anyone wanted to pin it on me. BUT look at us!”
I squint at the lock screen picture “There’s glare on your friend’s face.”
“That’s her quirk, don’t be rude!” she scolded me “She’s so luminescent that it hurts to look at her sometimes, and in pictures she’s always glared out. But we put her next to Petti in pictures to offset the light and take a decent one.”
“I’m glad you made a new friend! Has she been to the house?”
“Yup, she’s not yet used to the spicy food we eat though” Hanaka stifled a giggle “Her dad says that she was born and raised in France. He brought her over here because the schools in Japan are better and the hero work is abundant.”
“Can’t wait to meet them”
“Lets see during graduation season” she started then her phone pinged “Oop that’s the group chat, they’re sending their concern memes.”
Before I could take a peek at her phone, Tensei busts in. Which was weird because he ALWAYS knocks.
“Rosa! Okay, okay, okay” he said quickly before calming down a little “I did...a thing...wait- Iwa? When did you get home?”
“I got here late morning but whats the haps lil bro?” I asked “You look like you landed in a trash heap.”
“I can neither confirm nor deny that happened” he said closing the door behind him and locking it “But back to the thing I did. PLEASE don’t tell mom and dad! Because I’m still very fresh from the thing I did and I’m still processing it.”
“Okay just spill it” Hanaka was getting annoyed “You keep saying thing like you don’t know other words! What thing did you do on your sleep over with the boys?”
“This” he lifted his shirt up to his chest, revealing a belly button piercing.
I was shocked, so shocked that I dropped the bag of cheetos that I was floating. Tensei is this good boy image with a punk-like personality. To see this rebellious side to him made me proud in a way. He looks the most like our dad but with a darker skin tone, so I guess this is his baby step into his true self. Hanaka was so shocked that the waste basket contents caught on fire.
“What the- where in Japan did you go to get pierced?” Hanaka asked genuinely “Those jewelry places don’t let you get one without adult permission if you’re under 16.”
“Don’t get mad, but one of my band members has a cousin that’s a tattoo artist and does piercings at the place they work at” Tensei started to get red faced “Sooo I showed him that I could fix his little barbel piercings for free when the boys and I walked into his shop for fun... And he gave me this as payment.”
“Tensei! You got this i l l e g a l l y?!” I harshly whispered “Why did you agree to it?”
“Yeah! It’s not like you to do those things” Hanaka scowled in concern “What’s gotten into you lately? Ever since you came back from Nationals, you’ve been acting different.”
Tensei pulled down his shirt and sighed “I’m sick of being praised of being as good and law abiding like dad. I’m nothing like him inside! I’m not some capri-wearing rectangle!” he huffed “I’m way cooler, smarter and talented then people give me credit for. I don’t need the signature quirk to make my way in this world! And I wanna change my image so people take me seriously...no more orderly Tensei, I wanna be anarchist Oro!”
Hanaka narrowed her eyes, like she was shooting needles into her twin’s soul “Is this because you lost and can’t accept the L?”
Tensei turned red and scrunched his nose “No! I’ve already grieved over that and took and L” he crossed his arms “Nationals was just a tiny part of the whole reason.”
“What?” I was lost in this timeline of events.
Hanaka leaned over to me and whispered “Tensei cost his team majorly on all his debates. So bad that the team barred him from going to more debates this season and has to prove himself all over again to get back in the top 3 teams at school.”
“Oof that’s some sad boi shit” I winced at the recap “It’s okay to still not be over that L, you don’t have to spiral like this.”
“Well it’s too late, I got the damn piercing already and planned the next one” Tensei took a deep breath “I’ve been wanting this for a while, to just rebrand and have respect as my own identity. Not some clone of my father or just be the ‘other’ Iida twin. But until I take the next few steps, please don’t tell our parents about this. I want to tell them myself when the time comes.”
“Okay sure” Hanaka and I agreed.
Tensei turned to open the door “Thanks guys, it means a lot to me that you support me.”
Man, things are getting crazy here! My sweet parents have to deal with this shit on their own and they deserve a vacation or the Nobel peace prize for being the most supportive during life disasters. Seriously! I didn’t see mom until the evening, she looked a little run down but I really wanted to talk to her.
“Hey mom” I announced myself as I entered the living room.
“Iwata! I’ve missed you so much” Mom said as she used her quirk to pull me in for a tight hug “You’re getting so big, I can hardly wrap my arms around you!”
“Missed you too” I hugged her back “I just really miss being home.”
“I bet, heard you did phenomenal at the last practice test” she smiled and caressed my face with her hand “Just like your mama back in the day. I’m so proud of you for using the good old distraction card! That’s what I was well known for, wildcard and distractions.”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about” I sat up straight “I don’t know how things are going to get for the Labyrinth practice test. You took the practice and the evaluated one, what’s the winning combo?”
“What? hahaha” Mom laughed for a moment “There really isn’t a ‘winning combo’, just being well versed in fighting techniques. That’s where your uncle Jin didn’t get to the mid-point, he’s a genius and has good speed BUT he lacks impulsive/on the fly thinking. Everything has to be calculated to the T for him and if too many things has gone wrong in his thought out strategy, those seconds he takes thinking of a new plan can be the death of him.” She sighed into another chuckle “And your aunty Mimi! Boy, she’s an amazing weapons user and she NEVER misses. But in the exam, she didn’t make it past the 3rd stage because the stand off was with someone that erases quirks. She depended too much on her quirk for her gun wielding and she got out because of it.”
“So you did the opposite?”
“I used my critical thinking to get me though all the stages. The place were I used my quirks the most were at the end to win the fight with the mock villain” she leaned back and looked up at the ceiling “The rigorous training I did for basically a year got me to the point of not depending on my quirks until the very last resort. Remember Iwata, just because we can do anything without lifting a finger doesn’t mean we should ignore how able bodied we are. So I suggest do some more strength and endurance OH and you might need to do some breathing training too! Never know if you need to hold your breath for a certain amount of time.”
“That’s a lot to train on, kinda makes me feel like I didn’t do enough” I got self-conscience “I wanna do good in this one! Not because I want to make you proud, but for myself. Maybe passing this will spark something in me that’ll give me an idea about my destiny.”
“Oh sweet child of mine” Mom looked over to me lovingly “This test won’t give you any ideas on anything, trust me. Both times I had to go into intensive care to make sure I didn’t rupture my vial organs, thats how hard I went in. Just give it your all and just ride the wave that comes next.”
“Did you think you’d pass?”
Mom snickered “Nope! The second time was easier by a little bit but I just keep telling myself ‘whatever happens, happens’. I didn’t think passing would lead me to the agent position I’m at today! Same how I didn’t think that giving the class a cookie would lead to finding the love of my life. So don’t let the ‘what ifs’ rule your self-worth, life has a way of surprising you at the very last second.”
That made me feel better about things. I’m glad I decided to go home this weekend, because I know what to do now. 
-The next day, At Beizu’s house-
“...you still have this?” I said to Beizu as I was rummaging through his closet.
“Wha- oh that thing! Yea” he responded “You were my only friend in elementary school, so that graduation picture meant a lot to me.”
“Really? That’s why it’s framed” I looked closely at the picture of us holding hands “We look busted with all those missing teeth!”
“Don’t act like you didn’t cry every time you lost one” Beizu retorted back “Besides, it holds something more special to me...it was when I realized I loved you.”
I counted the years in my head “...damn, almost 6 years ago! Why so long?”
“I didn’t know if these were romantic feelings or not. And you did your own thing in middle school with band” he sighed and sat on the bed “I felt a little left behind and I tried really hard to stay in your interest. I wanted you to tell me I was yours, I didn’t care if that meant friend or lover” he turned red “It sounds silly now, but I was happy if you just said good morning or spent lunch with me.”
“Bei, you were always in my interest” I floated over to him “Nobody understood me like you did. You were never anything less than my best friend and it took some eye opening to see that we were basically lovers anyways.” I put my arm around his shoulders “Are you happy that we’ll basically wake up next to each other for the rest of our lives?”
“Are you kidding me?! It’s my dream come true!”
“Great! Just making sure” I kissed him bashfully “because I was getting ahead of myself and looking into apartments in Taito. We’ll be able to move in once I get possession of my inheritance money.”
“I don’t care if I have to wait until I’m on my death bed” he tackled me onto the bed “As long as I’m with you, anywhere is home.”
How everything was coming together nicely for us after UA. In between training and schoolwork, we looked at apartments online. Everyone was envious of us having things set afterwards, but to be honest, we only have an idea of things! We don’t know where exactly we’re going to work nor where to settle. It’s a bit bold to think our parents will give us work when we graduate. But I’m following my mom’s advice and just ‘riding the wave’ of what comes next.
-Fast forward, Mid October-
Beizu, Gee and I take advantage of the half-day of school by filling it with training in the disaster practice gym.
“Huh? The door is unlocked?” Gee said as she checked the door, key in hand “Did we come on the wrong day?”
“No, we have today reserved for us” Beizu pointed to the bulletin board next to the doors “See, we’re in the right.”
We walked on in and checked for anybody that straggled from the last session. But we found three people having banter on a rock.
“Remember the days of disaster training with sensei?!” said a familiar female voice.
“Ugh! Shut up or his ghost is gonna show up and bark at us to do wall sits” said another familiar male voice.
“Rich coming from someone that shat their pants the first time they shot a gun” shaded a Russian accent.
“Mom? Aunty and Uncle?” I spoke up as we got closer “What are you doing here? Aren’t you guys supposed to be agents today?”
“We came to interrogate the administrators here and since we finished early” Aunty Mimi explained “Your mom wanted to take a trip down memory lane. Back to the days of our youth.”
“Speak for yourself! I’m still nimble to go on a tussle like I did in high school” mom flexed her arms “They called me the sparring queen during my time here. I never lost a spar and I still maintain that streak.”
Uncle Jin rolled his eyes “Just because you still train like you’re gonna go to war! Bet you’ll get folded like an omelet if you did a one on one right now.”
“Alright bet!” Mom huffed at the challenge and pointed at me “Iwata, would you be a dear and spar mommy?”
“Oh shit your mom just challenged you” Gee gasped “What are you gonna do?”
“Fuckin fight I guess!” I said with my hands in the air “Let me stretch first though.”
Mom hopped and clapped “Yay! I’ll meet you in the circle in a bit sweetie.”
“Are- are they always like that?” Gee whispered to Beizu and I when the other three were out of earshot “I didn’t know your mom, aunt and uncle were so chummy with each other, like they’re teenagers.”
Beizu groaned into a sigh “All the time! You’re used to our aunt being on sensei mode when we do weapons class, but put them in the same room and they’re one bad decision away from throwing hands.”
“Don’t get us wrong! We love seeing them having fun” I say as I do my stretches “But when we get roped in, we don’t have the means to escape! And I can’t pass this up” I stretch my sides “I’ve NEVER sparred with my mom! She’s only quirk trained me but never the punchy stuff. I really want to see if I’m on par because we have the same quirk.”
We finally walked up to the sparring circle where the agent trio were still reminiscing.
“Ready to throw down nephew?” uncle Jin hyped me up “You’re in for the fight of your life!”
“Don’t scare him!” Mom scolded before dramatically pulling off her agent office uniform to reveal her two piece training clothes “I’d be shitting my pants if I had to fight my mom too. Your hype isn’t helping Jin.”
“Woah, your mom has an amazing physique!” gasped Gee, giving my mom the look over “And with the tattoos?! I can’t even tell if she gave birth to you. Man I hope to be that hot when I’m older.”
“I like your friend there Iwata, she knows what’s good” Mom said as she walked to the middle of the circle “Come now, step into the circle and show mommy what power my little baby boy can harness.”
I blushed hard as I walked up to her “Mom don’t coddle me in front of my team! So embarrassing!”
“Oop sorry baby!” she quickly covered her mouth “Force of habit!”
“Okay rules are first one to pin the other for the ten count is the winner. No weapons and no boundaries” Jin officiated “give the arm brace and assume the position.”
“What’s the arm brace? I only know about the bowing before starting” I whispered to my mom.
“Oh here, hold out your arm” she demonstrated then griped my tricep “now grip mine... there! This is how we show respect before an agent spar.”
I looked at our arms, then into her eyes. Those were the eyes of a woman that has 5 strategies ready to go to win. Those eyes has seen it all and isn’t afraid to do it all again. Wonder if she sees the anxiety in mine? I didn’t have the time to ponder these thoughts, the spar started and she didn’t let up. Immediately I felt the sting of a slap on my face, followed by the whoosh of her movement. What scared me a bit was that the whole time is was silent. Not a single grunt and her breathing was controlled, like she was conserving her energy. She dodged all of my attacks but didn’t land a single attack on me.
“Tired?” asked Mom as I stood to catch my breath.
“I can still fight” I wiped my forehead “hit me mom!”
The smirk that spread on her face was so wicked, I regretted my life because I just played into her trap.
“As you wish mijo!” Mom bellowed as she levitated herself up, followed by pistons jutting out of her body “Nothing personal Iwata” she pointed her palm at me, piston charging with energy “Mama isn’t ready to lose.”
And like the dumb ass I am, I charged right at her with my palm piston. And at the very last second...she grabbed me by the wrist with her other hand to seismic toss me onto the ground. I felt the weight of her foot on my back and knew that I was done for. My arm was locked and I was too tired to get back up, I saw uncle Jin’s feet near me.
“...8, 9, 10!” uncle Jin finished counting down “Winner is our undefeated Queen of Spars, Agent 19!”
“See? Told you I still got it!” She picked me up like when I was child “You okay? Did I hurt you?”
“No I’m okay” I responded to ease her worried tone “But I played right into your trap! You tired me out on purpose and edged me on to strike so I could lock my dominate arm. So simple but effective!”
Mom giggled “You’re so smart! I have a wicked high stamina and my quirk is amplified the more tired I am. So either way, my enemy isn’t leaving unscathed.”
“Wow! You’re absolutely incredible Mrs Iida!” fawned Gee “What else should we study before the test?”
“Just endurance and critical thinking” Mom responded “it’s that simple really. Wish the answer was more thought provoking or full of wisdom.” She looked at her watch “Well it was fun kids but we have to head back to our office to do all that boring office agent stuff.”
“Okay, bye mom! Bye Uncle and Aunty!” I chimed as I waved.
We watched them leave via portal and we continued with our training. I take the critical thinking part more seriously knowing that my mom applied it our spar. But I really don’t know if I’m going about it right! She makes it seem so easy and I wish I was at her level of super genius, big brain strategy.
-Day of Labyrinth practice exam-
“Bei, I’m shitting myself” I say as I finish suiting up “I’m so nervous that I just might anxiety shit myself.”
“That’s not a thing Iwa and you know it” Beizu responded as he finished lacing up his boots “Everything is going to go well! Watch, we’ll all pass and without intensive care afterwards.”
“I hope you’re right” I smiled at him “kiss me good luck?”
Beizu hopped and put his arms around my neck “Okay, one kiss. Then we go in the waiting chamber.”
Sooooo, things were not going well. Gee croaked at level 3 and Beizu didn’t even make it into the doors of the 5th level! He spent too much of his energy in level 4 that he passed out on the moving platform on the way to the next level. Now it’s up to me and I tried really hard not to tire myself out. I see where Gee failed in level 3, there was fast moving projectiles and she isn’t the fastest. Everything was going alright until the 5th level, my quirk stopped working and I panicked. There was nothing in the room and the exit door was locked. I had to think fast, what would I do if my siblings locked me in a room?
“Oh? Feeling trapped?” taunted someone that came into view “You can’t leave until you defeat me! But what is a quirkless agent going to do?!”
“I don’t need quirks” I reach for my gun and cock it “You really wanna fuck with me? I’m a child, WITH A FUCKING GUN! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?!”
The person was visibly nervous “Psh! I’ve seen plenty of gun fights!” they started to fumble their words “Come on, shoot me!”
“Naw, don’t feel like shooting you” I aim at the light fixtures on the ceiling “Eat broken light bulb BITCH!”
The lights went out and the sound of broken glass hitting the ground was oddly satisfying. I check to see I could use my quirks again and surely, I started floating. Once the door beeped to signal the level cleared, I made my dash to the next level before the final level. Next level wasn’t too hard, at least not for me, I knew how to swim and hold my breath for longer than 2 minutes. That would’ve sucked for anyone that didn’t know how to swim, gotta hand it to my mom for teaching all of us how to swim when we were kids. I get to the rescue part of the final level and it was fine until the ‘villain’ showed themselves.
“Not so fast agent! You’re forgetting someone important” said the villain as they walked into view.
“Nice try villain, all 8 hostages are safe and accounted for in rescuers care” I said smugly as I raised my gun at them “Lets make this quick.”
“I think you’ll want to put your gun down” the villain revealed someone tied up in a cage “You wouldn’t want to hurt my favorite prisoner.”
“Iwata, don’t shoot...please” said the hostage weakly.
I looked at the hostage closer and it’s...mom? That didn’t seem right to me. This person sounded like her and looks like her from the face. In fact, the whole room changed too! I was under some sort of illusion quirk and I didn’t want to risk shooting something that might cost me points. So I lowered my gun and started to scheme.
“Aww you don’t want to hurt mommy?” taunted the villain “To think that the hot shot agent, grown weak and aged terribly! Do something momma’s boy! Don’t you want to be a big shot agent like mommy? Or are you just as weak as she is?!”
I get an idea “Oye mama, tengo hambre!”
“What-” whispered the villain in panic.
“Que vas a cocinar hoy? Un pozole o taquitos?” I kept going, knowing that I threw the ultimate curve ball in this plan.
“I don’t understand you sweetie” responded fake mom “I’m so weak from my fight, that I lost.”
“That’s okay mommy” I smiled calmly “Will you sing me my favorite song? You’re never too tired to sing!”
“ENOUGH!” cried out the villain “make one wrong move, and I’ll kill her!” she took out a dagger.
“Okay then, fine” I stood completely still with my hands on my hips, ready to do plan B “I won’t move then.”
The villain was super confused on my erratic actions. But it was working because they started to pull back the illusion in the room. Once I saw the door, I knew that victory was in reach.
“We can stand here all day” said the villain bringing the dagger closer to fake mom’s throat “But think about your poor mother’s health! Do you really want her death on your conscience?”
“...any second now” I warned before I gave a content smile “You underestimate me villain! I’m not my mother, I am me! And I have a secret bio-weapon that I’ve just released into the room.”
“A bio-weapon?” the villain looked around frantically “I don’t- oh my- WHAT’S THAT HORRID STENCH?!”
I look at fake mom slowly fade and I knew that I was in the clear. The villain fell to their knees and vomited.
“Eat taser WHORE!” I said right before tasering them and put them in cuffs “do more research on our family next time and maybe this would’ve been a challenge!”
“LABYRINTH PRACTICE TEST CONCLUDED, AGENT 88 HAS CLEARED AND PASSED.”
The doors opened and I walked through to see my teammates, sensei and the test proctors waiting for me at the end of the hall.
“That was amazing!” cried out Gee “We saw everything on the proctor’s panels. How did you know that wasn’t your mom?”
“The person in the cage looked like my mom from the face but my mom is more petite,” I took my visor off “The one in the cage looked taller and didn’t have the big butt and thighs like my mom has.”
“Yo that spanish speaking was the biggest wildcard!” Beizu complimented “You knew that the villain had to break at that vital detail that they didn’t know. And that last line, chef’s kiss.”
“Aw shucks guys, I’m latino and can’t help but to be dramatic about it” I start blushing and acted coy “Kinda wish the illusion was more convincing though.”
“What was that ‘bio-weapon’ you released that made the villain basically pass out?” asked sensei “You don’t have the quirk that can do that.”
“Oh I farted” I confessed shamelessly “I’ve been holding that one in since I started the test...I also suggest decontaminating that room, my farts spread quickly and linger.”
Everyone but Beizu got visibly disgusted. Doesn’t matter because I passed and I can’t wait to tell my parents that I farted my way to victory. Nothing can stop me right now, I’m all the way up.
-Chapter 15, end-
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