#i made myself emotional while writing this

[avelera]

I actually really love Mel/Jayce/Viktor as well as Jayce//Viktor and I actually think the show has a couple scenes that lend to a poly interpretation of the three of them (Mel and Jayce both literally handling Viktor’s crutch between them while talking about how much they care for him, hello?? The subtext writes itself) but I found myself staying focused on just Jayce/Viktor at first because it’s a bit simpler to write and because as much as I LOVE the implied moments of their intellectual, ambiguously romantic threesome, I’d need more of Mel and Viktor interacting to really close the loop for shipping it in my mind. As it is, it feels a bit more “This is Mel’s boyfriend, Jayce, and Jayce’s boyfriend Viktor” that Mel still cares about and respects mostly from afar.

I also think that Viktor and Jayce kind of left their relationship at “we’re partners in every sense of the word, why define it further?” And that definition maybe included romantic and sexual moments (at least for fic writer purposes lol) but the fear of losing the amazing working relationship they had, which is so rare in the academic world, kept them from seriously “defining” it as anything official on the person front, which allowed Jayce to take up with Mel without it being “cheating”.

Throw into that the rapid advancement of Viktor’s illness and I can easily see a scenario where Viktor didn’t force the issue and indeed, was happy to see that Jayce had someone else who loved him in his life, knowing he didn’t have much time left and it would take a miracle to save his own life. Basically, I don’t see Viktor as jealous of Mel as a person, even if he was wary / resigned towards Jayce’s political career and would have rather have had him in the lab more often.

There was a happy medium there, I think, where Jayce was happily balanced between the two of them without jealousy from either that the accelerating events of S1 basically prohibited as the crises began to unfold, forcing Jayce into the conflict with Zaun, and Zaun had always been a point of miscommunication and later tension between Viktor and Jayce. An inevitable one I think, since Jayce couldn’t possibly know what it was like to grow up there, and in the course of their work it probably only rarely came up and so wasn’t daily addressed until the crisis made it an ugly conflict between them.

Anyway, I’m mostly just rambling as I think my way through how I write Jayce and Viktor in the fic I’m finishing up. But mostly I wanted to make the point that I see Jayce’s relationship with Mel as real and important and not “getting in the way” of his relationship with Viktor indeed, Viktor and Mel at least seem mature enough to navigate a poly relationship and Jayce has a lot of love to give (he loves SO MUCH guys I’m emotional about it, he’s just a good kid who ended up in a shitty complex situation that went way over his head. Bro didn’t even know if his school OFFERED military history, he was such an easy target and this is why STEM kids need an introduction to liberal arts I swear).

I don’t think S2 is headed towards any sort of unambiguous happy ending for the three of them but there’s definitely a happy AU in my heart where the three of them make it work and are better together than just two out of the pair.

[goingmerryfics]

HELLO, I was seeing that you were open to requests and I've had this in my head for a long time and I would really like to see something about this, a reader who has a huge scar on his face that is literally ugly, they got it as a child, apart from the fact that it shows part of the teeth of how serious it was and for this reason the reader wears a mask for fear of being told things about them face, I'm sorry if it's something explicit just that sometimes I feel like I don't explain myself

Reader with a scar - Luffy & Penguin

Content: reader is referred to as a ‘guy’ and a ‘dude’, reader wears a face mask, can be read as platonic, face scarring due to a past accident not specified, fluff and reassurance, a few mentions of Shachi in Penguin's part.

Notes* Hey there! There wasn't a character specified for this ask, so I chose two that I'm less experienced with to write out this prompt with :) male reader because of the pronouns used in the ask! I got really interested in this prompt right away and wrote it immediately upon receiving the ask and absolutely had to post it now so I apologize if the formatting is wonky! I'm on mobile haha

Luffy

When you first met Strawhat Luffy, it was while he was stopped at your home island along his grand adventure

You'd never really paid much attention to pirates and their lives- you had your own to live and figure out anyway

But as you and Luffy became closer- first as acquaintances, then as temporary allies, and then as friends as he boldly declared it in a short amount of time, you started to really like the guy

He'd only asked you about the mask you wore once. But the second you tried to answer him, he was distracted by dinner. After that, it was if he'd forgotten all about his question

It was kind of nice that way, not needing to worry about constant pestering or comments about it

Luffy truly didn't give a shit what you wore on your face at all. He cared about you (and your food, of course)

Luffy had a way of making you feel as if you could trust him to see your face. What you've kept hidden for most of your life, after a terrible accident had, in your opinion, ruined your life

But Luffy's care for you was unlike anything you've ever felt before. Luffy made you feel safe, protected, and just a little anxious at how willing he was to throw himself in harm's way to help you, the appointed new friend

One evening, you decide that you do in fact want to talk to him about your past. It's a decision you've been thinking over for a while, but actually getting up and moving to Luffy's room is such a sudden action, and then you're suddenly seeking him out in the dead of night on his ship to tell him about your scar.

The Thousand Sunny was still docked peacefully at the edge of the south side of your island, where you had originally met them what felt like so long ago. In reality, it had only been about a week since the Strawhats arrived, and yet it felt like so much longer in the chaos.

Their gangplank was pulled up, but before you could start trying to climb the ship's side, you spot Luffy out on the deck- evident by the straw hat on his head.

You call out his name, and he turns right away. With a grin quickly spreading on his face, he hops off the sunny and onto the grassy island floor. He calls your name happily.

“What are you doing over here? Is something wrong?” He asks.

You tell him it's not that, and he picks up on your unease.

“Well, what is it? It's hard to tell but you look like something's bothering you. Are you hungry?”

You shake your head, and you begin to explain. You tell him about your accident, about how your face was scarred and disfigured. You tell him about your upbringing, how hard it was to fit in with the other kids while you looked like that.

You can feel yourself getting emotional. Luffy can hear it in your voice, too. He calls your name in a stern tone- one he only seems to use when he gets serious.

“Listen, I don't care about all that crap.” He speaks. And though his words are blunt, you know he means them in the best way.

“I like you. You're a really nice guy, and you fight really well. So what else matters? You think I care if you've got a scar on your face?”

He stares at you, and you feel it in the center of your chest.

“You should feel free to do whatever you want! If you want to wear your mask then that's fine. But if you don't, then take it off! And if people don't like it, that's their problem! If they don't want to get to know you because of what your face looks like, then they're the ones that are missing out!”

You can feel tears in your eyes. There's something about the way Luffy says- no, declares it so passionately that leaves no doubt in your mind of his pure fondness for you.

Through your tears, you can see Luffy's smile, and your heart soars.

Penguin

You'd been a Heart Pirate for a short amount of time, but somehow you had made quick friends with many people on the Polar Tang- one of them being the man who called himself, ‘Penguin’ with the hat to prove it

There was something about him that was so easy to click with. Maybe it was your shared sense of humor, or the fact that you found it hilarious watching him and his partner in crime Shachi get into trouble for pulling pranks around your Captain (for the millionth time)

You weren't the only person on the crew who wore a full face mask, either. So while he was curious and questioned it in the beginning, one word from you to leave it alone and he backed off. Surprisingly.

Still, you definitely caught him eyeing you at times. The urge to pull the mask off your face to see what you were hiding was strong in him, but you two were friends and he wouldn't do that to you

One evening, Shachi had been pressing you just a little too much about the matter and he'd said, “What, are you ugly or something under there?”

Which earned a swift smack to the back of his head from Penguin, chastising him for saying something that insensitive

He'd noticed the way your teeth clenched, how tense you got. It had obviously hit home, and he made Shachi apologize for his rude joke right then and there

After that though, he found himself wondering why. Why did you think you were ugly? What were you hiding? Did you actually have a reason to be insecure, or was it something more?

He cared about you. He didn't want you to feel like you couldn't be yourself around them- the Heart Pirates were your family now, and a proper family didn't hurt each other for something so miniscule.

You had gotten over the comment, but Penguin had already begun his mission.

It was late into the evening. The chores were done for the day, and Penguin wanted to catch you before you went to bed. He wasn't really sure what he was gonna do or say, but he knew he wanted to address it before the worry drove him to insomnia.

He searches the halls for you and eventually finds you in the common room. He calls your name cheerfully, thankful that you're alone here- at least for the time being.

You greet Penguin, looking up from what you'd been doing. He takes a seat nearby and starts to make idle chatter, asking you about your day, telling you a bit of gossip, smiling when he gets you to laugh.

Then he clears his throat and switches gears, moving on to the conversation he really came here for.

“So, uh… There was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

You watch him fidget for a minute. He's not good with feelings at all, and he's trying to figure out how to bring this up without accidentally offending you. Eventually, he finds the words.

“So… About what Shachi said a while back. I was kinda worried about it.”

You quickly assure him that it was fine, that Shachi apologized and he only meant it as an, albeit bad, joke.

“Yeah, but… I don't know. It looked like it really bothered you. I hope you don't think that, like, we would think you're ugly or something! Whatever you look like under there, you're still the same cool dude we know. Nothing would change that. I guess I just wanted to say that.” Penguin shrugs.

You're not sure what to say to that. Your initial reaction is bitter- to insist that actually they would think you're ugly if they could see your face. But something stops you, and you get stuck just choking on your words.

“Look, I'm just saying, it bothers me to think that you don't like the way you look. I'm not saying you have to show me your face or anything, but just… If you choose to take your mask off one day, I hope you know that we'd love you all the same. You'll always be our family, no matter what you look like.”

You nod, because it's all you can bring yourself to do in the moment. It's nice, hearing that reassurance.

Penguin quickly changes the subject to try and dissipate the tension in the room made by the serious conversation, going on about something stupid Shachi had done that got him into some shit with the Captain earlier, which makes you laugh.

His words stick to your heart -You'll always be our family, no matter what you look like- and you know that when you do decide to show yourself to them, that you'll be alright.

[littleplantfreak]

'When', not 'if'

("I'm not a romantic" I cry and scream before dropping the most sickening thing i've written to date. Blame @stunie because i did tell her i would write the most ume thing ever and maybe this is it. The title in my docs for it is 'Fucking disgusting' but i figured i better not title it that here because I'd be seeing it in my notifs lmaoo)

SFW/no cw unless you hate fluff

When you wake up from your nap, one of your slippers is gone, and there's a blanket on you that wasn't there prior. Looking at the clock, it's been about an hour since everyone had left your apartment once your birthday party ended. The day as a whole had been chaotic, your boyfriend shoving you out the door with a note to go see Kotoha.

The note took you farther than that, though, as it seemed Umemiya created a whole scavenger hunt for your birthday that had you running into all of your friends, having dessert at your favorite cafe, and eventually ending up at your shared apartment to find that all that time spent around town was a distraction so that he could set up the space for your party. After it had ended, you were banished to the couch because princesses aren't allowed to help clean up their own birthday parties, which had you huffing and falling face down into the chicken shaped pillow affectionately called Mr.Clucky.

It was a product of your boyfriend's endless cycle of hobbies when he took up sewing. A little lopsided and overfilled with stuffing, you complained to and into Mr.Clucky with your face pressed into him. Apparently, he was soft enough to fall asleep on because before you knew it, you had been drooling on him the entire hour. Prying yourself off the couch took more effort than was almost worth it before your eyes fell on the reason you were so tired to begin with.

Hajime smiles and hums looking at your bleary eyes. "Good morning sunshine, I was just about to take you to bed," he says, folding a dish towel over a chair. You toss off the blanket and grab on the slipper that fell under the living room table before padding up to him. Dipping your hands under both of his arms to lock them together behind him, now your face is in his chest instead of the chicken, which is entirely preferred.

"Don't wanna go to bed just yet," you muffle, sinking even deeper into him when both of his arms wrap around you in support. He smells like dish soap and birthday cake, and you turn your head to hear the heartbeat in his chest.

"What do you wanna do lovey? You know I'd give you the world if you asked," you can hear the rumble of his voice in his chest with your pressed ear. He's cheesy, but half asleep, you feel just as much, if not cheesier.

"I have the world if I have you, they're one in the same. So just you is more than fine." Your eyes are closed, but you feel him shiver a little. "I wanna dance with you, though," you say, voice still soft and kinda raspy from sleep.

"Dunno if I can top what you just said even when I propose," he chokes out a laugh, or at least you think it's one. He shifts his hold a bit and starts leading you both in a lazy sway that starts near the toaster and ends next to the potted plant at the back door before starting over.

"When? Not if?" You tease him, a hand going to scratch the nape of his neck lightly.

"I'll never meet another you, so I'm pretty set on When."

"I'll say yes." Because you will. You can't imagine a life where you wouldn't.

"And I'll still cry when you do." You can tell he's crying now because it comes out shaky and his hold tightens a bit, before you lean back, stopping your impromptu waltz. Both of your hands come up to cup his face and look at his teary grey eyes before cooing at him.

"You big baby! Save those tears for When please. You'll be congested and sniffley all night if you don't stop." You start cleaning off his face with your sleeve, but he stops one of your hands and starts peppering your palm and wrist with small kisses. "I think I'm ready for bed now. Princess's orders," you say, dragging him towards your bedroom. You'll have to figure out tomorrow just how soon When is going to be, but for now you can hear the slow thumps of Hajime's steps as he follows behind you, squeezing your connected hand. It's not pressing in the least, you think, because it feels like there will be plenty of tomorrows too.

-----

When you wake up in the morning, it takes you an hour to realize Hajime had put the ring on your finger while you were asleep.

It takes you five minutes to run through town in your pajamas, barefoot to find and full on tackle him in front of the place he was about to get your breakfast in.

And it takes about two minutes of unintelligible blubbering on both your parts before anyone understands what is going on.

No one timed it, but if they did, it would've taken less than ten minutes for the whole town to find out via texts, calls, and yells down the streets and through windows that you're engaged.

[candy8448]

I was thinking about the stakes in tears of the kingdom:

(A small analysis essay)

(Ill be using words that will hopefully not out any spoilers)

In breath of the wild you had to defeat ganon, the stakes were that if you didn't defeat ganon in time zelda would be too weak to hold him any longer and the kingdom of hyrule will be doomed.

However in totk, there is nothing like that. There is no urgent stakes for defeating ganondorf. Everything is almost at a standstill, everything has been waiting since the begining of this Hyrule and there is no time limit for fighting ganondorf. In fact, ganondorf is kinda just waiting for link at the end.

And then i remembered, this game isn't about saving Hyrule, Hyrule is fine, everyone is actually kind of excited at these turn of events. There is no current evil they should be concerned of other than the gloom which is easily dodged.

This game is about finding and being with Zelda.

It's been that from the very start.

From the moment you wake up on the geat sky island you are given the objective to find zelda

Everyone who is close to you is asking where is zelda, you are told to investigate each region because zelda was spotted there, not because a great evil has arrived and they are in danger (even though that is also the case, zelda is still at the forefront of your concern)

It's only later in the game, once you have almost everything done that the goal becomes defeat ganondorf but even then, it is because you now know what happened wih zelda and need to make sure her efforts were worth it. Once you know that zelda's goals are to defeat ganondorf, that is when you join her in her goals rather than looking for her.

Even until the very last second of the end credits scene it is about getting to zelda, saving zelda, making sure zelda is okay, standing by zelda...

Breath of the wild was about regaining your memories, doing what you can and gaining forces to aid in defeating ganon because that is what you are told to do by the king at the begining, a role told to someone who has no memories, no way to make a decision of what he wants to do. This is even so in the memories, he is a soldier that must do as he is told, no choices made by himself alone. The game is about rebuilding and defeating an evil before it can stop that healing. He, We are a slate that has no job to do other than save everybody in time.

In tears of the kingdom, we have those memories, we have those experiences, he has the connections and emotions to decide for himself what he wants, not a duty to the kingdom. He got to chose what is important to him and he got to put that front and center in his life, above duty, above a role, above anything else,

And he chose Zelda...

[blu3haw4]

for the made up fanfic title: "let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away"

The first thing that comes to mind is something angsty, which isn't really my thing so... bear with me for a sec.

I feel like it could be a little three-acts type of fic

Im thinking maybe canon? Canon fix it perhaps?

Clarke's Pov with everything going wrong; First act, delinquents dying, the ark failing, the grounders attacking and Clarke in the middle of it trying to hold everything together (as usual)

Second act, she does make a deal with the grounders, either with Lexa or Anya first and everything is still very stressful, they need to accommodate to trikru culture, they have to prove they're useful to trikru if not to the entire coalition, they need to make plans for the ark's landing and a maintened peace afterwards.

Maybe there's no mount wheater, or maybe there is but Lexa never betrays Clarke. Maybe they don't kill them all and their plan goes through just fine or maybe act three is about Clarke processing all the things she's done, Mount wheater included.

And Act three 'let it wash away' Clarke goes to Polis, Lexa and all skykru become heroes, they finally defeated their century long enemy, the grounders' nightmare. It wouldn't all be rainbows and unicorns of course. Polits suck but are necessary, this time though Clarke and Lexa would face them together. The would finally get together and Lexa would show Clarke all the beautiful things about earth, about their culture and their people. Clarke would get the chance to remember all the fun things she got to do in the ark (they would definitely play chest very often) and enjoy earth truly for the very first time. Lexa would bright her days just as much as Clarke would brighten Lexa's. She would change too, of course. Aside from the polits and changing her mind with Clarke's ideas, she would be lighter, she would let go, be freer, she would want to enjoy life as she keeps on showing Clarke that is possible. She'd sort of rediscover life's beauty while showing it all to Clarke.

And they would be happy, they'd help each other cope with all the bad thing and share all the good ones. They'll love each other for all eternity and they would make each other stronger in every way.

[rinhaler]

ig coz you only got 2 notes on that post saying you were writing earlier lmao hoping to get more attention now you’ve said you’re gonna deactivate = attention seeker

you think I care about making a random chatty post and not getting notes on it enough to deactivate 😭😭 embarrassing take idk who you are but if you think I’m that much of an attention seeker ig you should block me but I’ll happily do it for you if you wanna continue this.

[skitskatdacat63]

Boy King Seb :D

[orcelito]

Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.

Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.

Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.

It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...

This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.

I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.

[loosesodamarble]

As Time Moves On Part 3: An Overdue Reconciliation

Summary: Nozel gathers his family for a discussion that needs to happen for the sake of the future of House Silva. Genre: general, hurt/comfort(?) Word count: ~3800

..........

Noelle gazed up at the grand visage of House Silva’s wing of the royal palace. The tall, sleek towers and spires. The windows that gleamed more like crystal than glass in the sunlight. It was beautiful but austere.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” a voice asked from behind her.

Noelle turned around to look at Finral as he leaned out of the portal he was holding open. His brows furrowed in concern and as much as he smiled, Noelle could tell it was something he forced at the moment.

“Don’t worry so much. I’m royalty, I’ll be fine here,” Noelle stated as she flicked one of her pigtails behind her shoulder. When Finral didn’t back into his portal, Noelle instead gave her squadmate a small grin. “I’m me, I can handle myself.”

The concern on Finral’s face loosened a bit. He almost receded into the portal before he extended an arm to Noelle. And from the look in his eyes, Noelle knew. She stepped over and let Finral give her a one-armed hug. She hugged him back.

“You better not come back to tell us you joined the Eagles, got it?” Finral muttered as he gave the back of Noelle’s shoulder a pat.

“If you really want to be stuck with me…” Noelle gave him a squeeze before they both let go.

The two gave each other a smile and nod before Noelle turned to House Silva again. Once upon a time, the palace was a cold and lonely prison. She took a deep breath. Then, she took her first step towards the door.

Today, she was returning to her first home.

.....

In one of the palace’s lounges, Noelle sat with Solid and Nebra with tea and snacks on the table between their seats. Nozel was still on his way, finishing squad business according to Nebra. So while the younger siblings waited, they decided to recount their actions from the night Clover Kingdom made their attack against the Spade Kingdom.

“You redirected a spell that large?!” Noelle exclaimed as she leaned forward in her seat.

“Don’t pretend to sound impressed!” Solid snapped back. “I bet you think you could’ve stopped it altogether!”

“I’m not pretending though!” Noelle said, a bit more forcefully than she meant to. “Just take a compliment, why don’t you?”

Solid made a “ngh” sound and his face started to burn red. “What you said was hardly a compliment! Besides, how do I know that you’re not just mocking me, huh?”

“Oh how pathetic that’d be,” Nebra muttered behind her hand. She leaned in Noelle’s direction. “Though if you want pointers on how to get on Solid’s nerves, I can share.” She winked at her sister.

“Yeah, no thanks.” Noelle hid a mildly disgusted look behind a sip of tea. And here I thought Nebra and Solid were as close as can be. Guess they’ll even turn on each other if it amuses them.

Her heart felt heavy at that idea. She’d always felt like she alone was pushed away and knocked down. But the cruel, cutthroat nature of House Silva could target her siblings too it seemed. It really had been for the best that Noelle never fit into that environment, that she wound up in the Black Bulls and became who she was in the present.

Had she been a fool for ever wanting to fit in with her family?

Noelle lowered her cup.

No. She wasn’t a fool for wanting to be close to her family. Rather, she was short-sighted for wanting to fit into a dynamic that tore down the weak instead of encouraging growing into strength.

Noelle glanced to her side to Nebra and in front of her to Solid. Their presence carried with them painful memories but… There was also a relief in knowing that they were okay after all was said and done.

“Ugh. What’s taking Nozel so long?” Nebra grumbled. “He was the one to summon us here yet he—”

The lounge doors were pushed open. And there Nozel was.

Noelle’s eyes went wide at Nozel’s appearance. Rather than his usual attire, Nozel wore a plain white tunic with a low collar. While it wasn’t anything revealing, seeing him dressed that way made Noelle realize that she’d never seen Nozel so casually. Nor had she seen his neck uncovered before. And it was a mildly jarring sight.

“Good afternoon, everyone,” he stated while walking in. The expression on his face looked like a smile but there was a pain to it that made it impossible for Noelle to believe he was happy. “I’m glad you all could make it today.”

In total silence, Nozel directed Solid to sit with Noelle and Nebra on the sofa before sitting in the armchair across from them.

“Nozel, why exactly are we here?” Nebra was the one to ask, being the most comfortable with approaching the eldest brother.

There was a moment of silence as Nozel took a deep breath then opened his eyes, meeting each other his younger sibling’s confused gazes with an intense one of his own. He looked more serious in that moment than he’d ever been in his entire life.

And having seen Nozel in the midst of the battle with Megicula, Noelle was shocked that such a feat was possible.

“It’s time that all of you learned the truth regarding our mother, Acier Silva’s, death,” Nozel stated plainly but resolutely.

“Truth?” Solid echoed. He glanced over in Noelle’s direction, his confusion quickly turning to anger. “But we know what happened to Mother! I saw her! So did you two!” Solid gestured to Nozel and Nebra. “She got sick before Noelle was born and she only got worse after! What more is there?”

Noelle trembled, not so much from Solid’s voice but his accusation. Even though Noelle knew the truth, faced the woman and devil behind Acier’s death, the blame was still on her within the walls of House Silva.

“There is much more to the story that you are unaware of, Solid,” Nozel coldly retorted, making Solid’s mouth immediately clamp shut. “If you’ll be quiet, I can explain.”

After Solid seemed to shrink back in his seat and Nozel took a deep breath to recompose himself, Nozel continued.

“To the rest of the world, Acier Silva died due to birth complications, contracting an unidentified illness when her body was in a weakened state after pregnancy and labor, thus the blame being put on Noelle.”

Something about hearing the false narrative, beyond simply “you are to blame” made Noelle’s stomach churn. So much so that she instinctively put a hand to her mouth.

“Now it’s true that our mother fell ill late into the pregnancy. It was the reason why she moved to the family’s estate near the border temporarily. Doctors believed a closer proximity to natural mana would strengthen her and a less stressful environment would be better for recuperation. I accompanied Mother on the trip out of concern for her and a yet unborn Noelle.”

Nozel paused and pursed his lips. His hands clenched and unclenched on his knees.

Noelle noticed and she wanted to reach over, to give him some kind of reassurance as he was delving into his memories, reliving the darkest time in his life. But she held back. She guessed that Nozel needed to say his piece, to bear the facts, before whatever pain was in his heart could be healed.

“Thankfully, that illness was merely an aggressive cold. Noelle was born without issue. And after that, Mother was able to recover in a few days, thanks to the environment and attentive care from healers. The servants were sent home early so that our mother, a newborn Noelle, and I would be granted privacy before our own return.”

“I remember that…” Nebra muttered with her eyes narrowed in annoyance. “The servants were back but you weren’t and I was so impatient.” She swallowed and her expression turned grim. “But if Mother had recovered after Noelle’s birth, then what…?”

“While the three of us were alone at the estate, that was when Mother’s true killer arrived. The devil Megicula and their human host.”

Choked gasps escaped Nebra and Solid’s throats at the words.

Nozel shuddered as he closed his eyes, the memories of that day clearly still haunting him.

With painful slowness, Nozel recounted that day.

How Acier had sensed a dangerous presence before Nozel had and instructed him to sneak off the premises while she went to fight the intruder. The way Acier stood before Vanica with resolute determination.

Nozel’s posture wilted as he recounted how he’d tried to watch the fight, as if he would’ve been able to do anything if he joined it. He explained that he had tripped and the jolt caused Noelle to wake and cry in fright. There was pure fear and horror in his eyes when he described how fast, how terrifyingly quickly, Vanica had moved to loom over him and Noelle.

He described Acier’s final attack and the noxious mana that enveloped her and Nozel when it happened. As he described the curse’s effects on himself, Nozel touched his exposed neck.

“With Acier returning to House Silva weakened after labor, it was all too easy for the blame to be put on Noelle. And because of the curse on me, I was unable to defend you, Noelle.” Nozel raised his head and looked at the youngest Silva. “For that, I’m eternally sorry.”

At that point, Noelle was in tears. Quiet but unrestrained tears.

She was not alone. Nebra and Solid were also crying as if their eyes were opened floodgates.

“It was a curse that killed her?” whispered Solid. His head was bowed and his whole body trembled. “And from a supreme devil? There’s no way…”

“But it’s the truth.”

“A curse that powerful should��ve given off some trace of magic,” Nebra retorted, trying to make sense of what she’d heard. “How did no one sense it? Especially if you were under the curse this whole time!”

Nozel closed his eyes and his shoulders appeared to slump further. “Megicula’s attribute was Curse-Warding. It’s a magic that makes curses harder, if not impossible, to break without killing the caster. It only makes sense that Megicula was able to leave a curse that was undetectable, even to the most trained magic users.”

“So for that whole year… Mother suffered more than we knew…” Nebra covered her mouth, trying to muffle her sobs.

“We were only kids at the time. It wasn’t our fault that we believed what we were told,” Solid muttered with his head turned away from Noelle.

The sorrow Noelle felt when Nozel recounted the past began to mix with a bubbling frustration inside from listening to her siblings. Her hands balled up on her knees.

“Is that really all you have to say?” The words left Noelle with little thought. “You’re really going to sit here feeling sorry for yourselves?” She rose from her seat. She glared at Solid and Nebra. “You’re just crying over being ignorant kids and not even apologizing for what you did in your ignorance! And you!” She turned to Nozel. “You say you’re sorry for not defending me but you didn’t even try!”

“Noelle, the conditions of the curse—”

“You could’ve easily worked around the curse!” Noelle snapped. “You never had to bring up Megicula. You just had to insist that I didn’t kill Mother! ‘Noelle isn’t to blame!’ ‘Don’t blame the baby!’ ‘It was something else!’” She threw her hands down at her sides. “You could’ve said any of those to defend me but you didn’t! You made zero effort in protecting me and didn’t try to reach out to me while I was made the black sheep of our family! Why didn’t you try?!”

With all her words having been let out, Noelle sighed and buried her face in her hands.

“Why…? Why didn’t…?” she whimpered between gasps. “Just why…”

Noelle cried.

And her siblings looked at her. For the first time, they saw Noelle as who she had been for years. A young girl, their little sister, lonely and sorrowful. As strong as she was, so strong as to be acknowledged by one of the Great Four Spirits and defeat a devil, she only became that way after living most of her life being shunned and left feeling weak.

Nozel stared intently at Noelle. At her wilting posture, the weight of her grief dragging her down. At her tears, which he didn’t know how to soothe. Acier would’ve known. So…

What would Mother have done? Nozel stood from his seat. I remember her… always holding me close. In the good and bad times. He stepped around the coffee table between them. Then, he put his arms around Noelle. It was not a hug, his hold on Noelle was too rigid and awkward for it to be called such.

“You’re right,” Nozel said with a fragile softness. “After Mother gave her life to protect us, I did nothing for you. You were Acier’s last gift to the world and I didn’t do everything in my power to protect you… I utterly failed you as a brother… For that, I’m truly sorry, Noelle. It doesn’t change anything but I hope that it… that you…”

Words left Nozel’s mind.

He didn’t know exactly what he hoped for. Was it his place to ask for Noelle’s forgiveness? Did he have the right to wish her a better life that he never provided her? He hoped for Noelle’s sake but he couldn’t name anything exact to wish for her. There was so much for her to have that he’d been too weak-willed to give in his own power.

It was his greatest shame.

Noelle leaned into Nozel and quietly cried into his shoulder. It was new but there was a comfort to this intimacy that they’d never shared before. It was the comfort of a dream coming true at long last.

“Acier’s last gift to the world.”

The words echoed in Solid and Nebra’s minds. And the visage of their mother, preserved in their memories and in the foyer of House Silva, could be seen in Noelle.

Nebra pursed her lips and a faint memory filled her mind.

“You promise that I’ll get a sister?” Nebra asked, years ago while pressing a hand to her mother’s belly. “It better be a sister or else— Um… or else…”

“Don’t worry, Nebra. I can feel that this baby will be a girl,” Acier answered with a smile and laugh. “And when she’s born, you’ll be a good big sister, right?”

“Yeah! I’ll help her be a strong princess like you and me and make sure she’s the cutest dressed baby ever!”

Had that really been Nebra? Had she really been so eager to meet Noelle and treat her kindly? Was she once the kind of person who smiled at the chance to take care of someone rather than smile at the suffering of others? What would Acier have said if she saw what became of Nebra after her passing?

All that love and gentleness that Nebra had known before was destroyed by the heartache of losing their mother. The suffering that sank into her bones… And her desire to see it inflicted on others…

Solid, too, became overwhelmed by a recollection of the past.

“Solid…” Acier whispered as she smoothed down her son’s hair. “You’re gonna be a big brother. You know Nozel is really cool, yeah?”

“The coolest and strongest big brother!” Solid exclaimed.

“Yes yes. Well, you need to become a cool, strong big brother too.” Acier hugged Soild to her chest with one hand while touching her stomach with her other. “Can you do that?”

Solid bit his lip. “I dunno…”

“I think you can.” Acier pressed a kiss to Solid’s crown. “Please try, okay?”

“…Okay…”

Solid grit his teeth, fighting back the urge to cry out loud. He was Solid Silva, son of Acier. He wasn’t some weakling who cried or regretted things. He was a Magic Knight, a Silver Eagle. Solid was strong, proud, independent…

And a pathetic man who knew pain but never sympathized with Noelle when she cried, just as he did for Acier, all because someone pointed at her and said “she is to blame.”

“N-Noelle…”

Noelle, stepping out of Nozel’s embrace, turned at the sound of Nebra saying, or rather sobbing, her name.

“Yes?”

Nebra wiped at her tears with the back of her hands and took deep, ragged breaths.

“Noelle, I’m sorry… For… everything… I didn’t know better but I still… Sorry, I’m sorry…”

“Me too… Sorry…” Solid muttered just loud enough to be heard. “I failed you as a brother too…”

Noelle’s eyes went wide.

Nebra, who ignored her at best or mocked her if they ever happened to cross paths…

Solid, who knocked her down both physically and emotionally throughout their childhoods…

Their apologies were pitiful but Noelle felt them in her heart.

“Nebra. Solid.” Noelle took a moment to look both siblings in the eyes.

Again, Noelle’s heart was warmed by the foreign affection that she and her siblings never had before. It wasn’t an “I love you” but the kindness in “sorry” was more than enough for her at that moment.

“Thank you…”

Her words seemed to break a dam in her older siblings.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” Nebra whimpered, lacking the pride and grace she usually carried.

“What kind of answer is that?” Solid managed to sound indignant and annoyed as he cried. “Shouldn’t you be mad or something?”

Noelle pressed her lips together.

Maybe she should’ve been mad, or at least bitter towards her siblings. After all they’d done to make her life miserable and then she experienced love with the Black Bulls, she could’ve easily resented them. But rather than hatred, what she felt for her siblings…

“I don’t know,” Noelle muttered. “I should be angry but I…” Her head shook ever so slightly. “I want to forgive you. I want to be a family with you guys but I’m not sure…”

“You don’t have to have an answer right away,” Nozel stated, drawing his younger siblings’ attention to him. “I don’t think any of us really know what to say.”

The Silvas looked between themselves. Nozel’s pale violet eyes. Nebra’s deep pink like gems. Solid’s clear blue. And Noelle’s blush pink.

The four of them. Together. Like they should’ve been from the moment Noelle had been born.

As their mother had wanted…

“There’s something I believe you all should see,” Nozel said to break the silence that settled over the siblings. “Follow me.”

With that, Nozel walked towards the doors of the lounge. Nebra, Solid, and Noelle passed confused looks before following their brother.

The walk was quiet. Hearing the full story of Acier’s death and the tears they’d all shed had thoroughly drained the siblings of energy.

Nozel led his family through the halls of House Silva to a back wing of the castle, to an area where the rooms only existed because the palace had been built so excessively large. He guided them to a room that had been left unoccupied for the last sixteen years. The door opened and the light flickered on with a bit of effort from underuse.

The room was empty. Save for one large cloth draped over something else which appeared to lean against the wall.

Nozel walked to the cloth covered object. Nebra, Solid, and Noelle followed him up to it. As they approached, different expressions crossed each of their faces. Noelle raised a brow in confusion. Solid’s gaze was a pensive one. And recognition flashed across Nebra’s face.

“Nebra, Solid, do you have an idea what this could be?” asked Nozel. His hand rested on the object, curling up in the cloth covering.

Solid narrowed his eyes on the obscured item. “No. Should I know what it is?”

Nozel pressed his lips into a line before shaking his head. “You were so young. It doesn’t surprise me that you don’t remember.” He then looked to Nebra. “Do you recall?”

“It’s still…” Nebra blinked rapidly and seemed to be straining to speak. “I thought that you… that you maybe destroyed…”

“No. It’s been here this whole time.” When Nozel said this, a pained smile came to his face. Years of suppressed grief and love made his heart ache. “Noelle, if you truly wish to mend the broken bonds of our family, then you should see this. We all should.”

Nozel pulled on the cloth.

Depicted in immaculate detail on canvas was a portrait of the four of them with their mother. Acier sat between Nozel on her right and Nebra on her left. Solid sat on Nebra’s other side. And Noelle was cradled in Acier’s loving arms.

Acier’s smile was absolutely radiant despite how much pain she must’ve been in from the curse. Nozel did his best to portray dignity but pain still showed on his face and he'd been unable to smile for the artist. Nebra and Solid’s composure in the portrait, too, seemed forced. The only person who beamed as brightly as Acier did in the portrait was Noelle. Her angelic smile was almost framed by the blanket and Acier’s arms holding her.

Noelle’s legs gave out from under her.

“Mother…”

Nozel knelt down beside Noelle and put an arm around her shoulders.

“She wanted to hold you for as long as possible,” he whispered. “She loved you with everything she had.”

“I don’t… even remember…”

In the corner of Noelle’s sight, she saw Nebra’s skirt pool on the floor as her sister sat down.

“It’s okay. Just let it out.” For the first time, Nebra sounded like a sister. And she felt like a sister as her hand gently rested over Noelle’s.

Noelle shook her head, fighting the tears that were already in her eyes. She’d cried enough already. She stilled when she felt a hand on her back. There were no words but the warmth of Solid’s hand lightly pressed against her back was enough reassurance.

Noelle let out a wail. Only after seventeen years was she mourning the loss of her mother.

After seventeen years, her siblings were finally there for her, comforting her amidst their own tears.

It was a long seventeen years. But they were finally over.

..........

Art by @/crazycookiemaniac.

[gothsuguru]

getting an iced pumpkin chai in the morning and then my personal goal is to spend the whole day writing and i hope i can come back to this post tomorrow and rb w how much progress i’ve made!!!

[eggplant-crusader]

I wrote a short fic imagining Ezra and Hera’s reunion after the Ahsoka finale.

[reima-awen]

“We have mammets in Eorzea,” she begins. “Clockwork automata that live and work alongside us. To those who are familiar with their construction, we know that at their core is something precious – what’s referred to as their heart. It is…the seat of their memories, their personalities, their…feelings – everything that makes them who they are.” Looking back to Arym, trying to find the pinpoint lights of his eyes, she presents the hypothetical. “Is that not rather like a soul?”

Not waiting for a reply, she goes on. “I have spent the better part of my life learning to listen to things that do not have words in the traditional sense. Trusting in things that cannot be seen with even the keenest of eyes. Believing. And across the years I have seen my share of horrors, the likes of which still keep me up some nights, but then there were miracles, too. So many wonderful, impossible things.”  “And maybe it is impossible for a machine to have a soul. Maybe I am…weak, or a fool who’s still living half in a fairy-tale the way people have told me I do before. But when I look at the Overseer I see someone who…who likes listening to…to something called rock, who told me that they won’t throw away a single gift or memento they’ve been given for as long as they live even if they think it’s clutter. Who loves, so deeply, in whatever way they know how, even if no one can see it. Even if they don’t see it themselves.” “I feel it every time I enter that room, Arym,” and her voice hitches on his name, emotions laid bare once again. “Like a heartbeat, all around us. A song that only a soul can sing.” She wrenches her watery gaze away, finding a rusted spot on the floor again as color floods her cheeks, swallowing thickly. “Maybe I am crazy,” she murmurs, her voice barely audible over the sound of the room’s mechanical noise. “But I want to believe in that. So when you ask me whether or not I considered the Overseer to be sentient? What can I say but ‘yes’?”

[hella1975]

Hi hella! I love love your writing and have done so for years and liked your posts but above all else I am a social media lurker at heart. But I wanted to tell you that following you for so long I’ve seen you go off to college and strike out on your own. Your self reflection and how you move through your life is so inspiring. I feel like your proud distant auntie sometimes cheering you on from afar. Growing up and going through school and into your adulthood is so confusing and frustrating and depressing sometimes but I’m a bit on the other side now and can tell you you’re doing so well. Absolutely killing it and it’s a privilege to read about. Your openness often has me reflect on my own life! I appreciate you bestie 🫶

reading this was genuinely so emotional BESTIE WHAT THE HELL

[mutxnts]

you ever just. get emotional over charley the houseplant

[singsweetmelodies]

katie i just finished your 1D piarles au and oh my god it was everything i never knew i needed

i was a GIANT 1D fan when they were together and now i'm obsessed with piarles the way i used to be obsessed with the band so this fic was just... perfection, a masterpiece, worthy of a nobel prize. it made me feel so nostalgic that the last instagram live made me genuinely emotional 😭

sorry i'm rambling but i just wanted to tell you that i loved it (even when i wanted to hit pierre over the head) and thank you for writing it 💞💞

hello friend!! oh my gosh, thank you SO much for the lovely compliments 🥹❤️ i appreciate this message so so much! as a fellow giant 1D fan & piarles girlie, this fic holds a very special place in my heart, so whenever someone tells me they enjoyed it too and it meant something to them, it's just... it's so, SO wonderful to hear. i struggle to put it into words, but it's one of the best, most heartwarming feelings i know. it's just so special to be able to share something that means a lot to me with other people who get it and who feel the same way, so just - truly, thank you so much for this very kind ask!! i have been coming back to it in my inbox in tumblr for the past few days whenever i need a little pick-me-up, and just beaming and immediately feeling a little bit better about everything. so: thank YOU!! and i am truly so, so ecstatic that you enjoyed this fic too ❤️🎶❤️

[emily-mooon]

I honestly hope that this hellsite doesn’t kick the bucket anytime soon.

Like for the first time in a long while, I have found my people and space where I can just be me with other people outside of close irl friends and my family. In school I longed to find someone who shared the exact same amount of passion for the things I loved and I found it here. I chose to come here because all other social media sites felt like a god damn shitshow in regards to drama and all other stuff. I don’t feel like tons of eyes are watching me and judging me for things way out of my control.

Also as an intermediate artist I’ve found that Tumblr isn’t as nasty as other sites. Like on tiktok, you’ll have random people giving unwanted criticism and then bully you for your art style and call it “art lore” when it’s not up to their standards. This hellsite had its era of making fun of young artists. Yeah there might still be some hate but I rarely see it. I was so nervous after posting my first piece of fanart to the internet and seeing all the support and love for something I made, made me really happy cause I’ve always been shy about my work and sharing it with other people and seeing love and support means so much to me.

Also I would hate to lose all my moots. You are all so important to me no matter how little we talked. I won’t know where else to find you as this is the only site I’m on. Despite how parasocial our relationships are, you are all my kindred spirits. The same sentiment applies to all my followers. You are all amazing and I parasocially love you and think you’re cool.

If this site does go down like Titanic, I fully intend on going down with it. I’m not getting on that life boat. I will be with the fish, lost to time and only a faint memory to those who know me.

I had hoped that this site would still be here when I hit forty but I guess not. I guess I’ll be 18-19 when I last walk the halls of this god forsaken place that has helped me feel less alone in what I love and cherish. If any staff see this, reconsider please cause I don’t want this ship to sink. I want it to sail the seven seas for eternity.