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#i made myself cry multiple times with this but this was something i really wanted to do and im glad i did
yooboobies · 1 month
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yoongi's love language: act of service ♡
{cr. 0613data}
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peapod20001 · 1 year
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LMAO QUICK. WIPE YOUR TEARS BEFORE SOMEONE SEEEESSS YOUUU
#vent#:) !! dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I am in my feelings and I am feeling so many feelings like my heart being torn from my chest and pounded into the floor#and a rage so sickening that I can only get rid of by mutilating someone’s flesh with my teeth and nails#fuck fuck fuck man fucking shit everytime I start to open myself up to someone and share what’s at the core of my being#I let my guard down and shit happens!! why can’t I be normal!! why do I get so attached!!! so fucking needy!!!!!! why do I CARE so deeply#when I’m so easy to be ignored? honestly what am I doing here!! I’m forgettable!!! honestly!!#why talk to me??? what am I contributing AT ALL to the conversation?? I’m not interesting. I have no ideas. YOU have a hard time under me?#how do you think *I* feel?? do you think I know who I am?? what I believe?? what I desire??#why even BOTHER wanting for anything!! I dream of the absolute bare minimum life for myself!! I want to not die and live with my friend!!#maybe even MULTIPLE friends if I’m so lucky!!! do you know how much I’ve thought about it? how stupid of a fucking dream really truly#what are the chances of that coming true? who would want to spend more than a few hours. with me?#and so what?? if I can’t even achieve the bare fucking minimum dream ever then??? what’s the point??? what am I then??? if you think I have#ANY skills. you are mistaken!! I don’t know how to do anything!!! except cry over no response to my messages for TWO FUCKING WEEKS#I’m fine and cool. absolutely fucking DANDY#I’m totally not insecure about my place in the world and my place in peoples lives!!! noooooooo#I don’t need the bare minimum level of attention. I made it 13 fucking years having never truly connected to another human being.#I can handle. whatever the fuck this is. haha how pathetic. shitty shitty bang bang#nooo I’m a grizzled fucking soldier I don’t reread positive words directed at me like I have an addiction#I’m not replaying the top happiest moments from my life over and over again trying to ride a high from something that expired LOOONGG ago#I’m not fucking!! crying!! what do I have to cry for?? aww little piss baby DIDNT get a reply :( aww shh shh#your feelings are sooo valid don’t you worry!! it’s not like you’ve gone most of your life with the ability to get things you want!! GASP.NO#you didn’t have to struggle with food or money or housing!! nobody’s even HIT you before!! but even so your cries are valid!!!!#SIKE. NO. IM AT THE ABSOLUTE BOTTOM. MY PROBLEMS DONT MATTER#so WHAT if you’re longing?? doesn’t matter how hard you THINK or DREAM or WISH. NO ONE. NOT ONE SINGLE. FUCKING. PERSON#will EVER. see you as more than the fucking checker piece on the chess board!!#you want to be someone’s muse huh? don’t even CARE about their interpretations. or how they see you. all that matters is that in this moment#they’re stuck with you. they’re watching you. for at least a moment you can pretend they are yours.#god.... if only I could get myself to write my actual essays with this much passion haha#haha...a hh h..
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occudo · 13 days
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An incomplete list of TMA fics I adore
-beacuse of this ask
(If you liked the fics I previously recommended/made fanart for, I think you'll gonna like these as well, but you know, read the tags, know what you are going into)
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Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey @cirrus-grey
Time Travel Fix-it! Slow burn! So good! So much sass from future!Jon- I doubt I have to introduce anyone this amazing author, but if you somehow missed them till now, this is your time! I highly recommend all of their other fics as well, for example one of a more recent one, The Stranger I Know Best is also a lovely read.
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enthralling by Prim_the_Amazing @primtheamazing
Vampire!Martin!! I have no words of how much I love this concept, this story, everything about this. I think I'm going to repeat myself through this list, but I also recommend everything else they've written!
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to fill... my heart with music? by godshaper @godshaper so their Martin and Jon design are different from mine, also they made a way better art for this- but still, I wanted to include this really good fic in this list.
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Do It All Anew by inkfingers_mcgee or @crit20art
You know the feeling when you read a book that makes you cry, and after that you recommend it to your friend? Well- there is no reason I mentioned this, I'm just so normal about this fic. Or any other fic from inkfingers_mcgee... like Strange Manner of what I made another fanart way back. Also, check out their art!
Anyway, here is Aamal- she is not going to cause emotional damage.
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And they were sidekicks (oh my god, they were sidekicks) by arthureameslove @arthureameslove
A lighthearted series where Jon and Martin are sidekicks of supervillains- it's just a really fun fic, also recommend everyting from this author - I previously draw fanart here for an other fic of theirs Like a Lighthouse, Call Me Home
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neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well by saintbleeding @saintbleeding
To quote the aurthour: "Post-divorce Jon and Martin in a wedding-based romcom" It's such a comfort read, also has a Tim/Sasha wedding, and lots of cameos! I realised most of these authors I made fanarts for before- like this one for some kind of miraculous bind, this one is oneshot and a bit more serious in tone.
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Give Me the Words by rakel @rakel-on-ao3
"Jon and Martin try to make the most of a bad situation in the Scottish Highlands. The situation is worse than they realised." You know that one post about wanting to write PWP, but it keeps turning into character study? Well, this one comes to my mind each time I see that.
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i wanna find a home (i wanna share it with you) by heartshapedguy @transgenderboobs
So what would have happened if instead of the cot (tm), Jon offered Martin his own flat to stay? There is no way it's going to change their relationship, right? Such a good read, if you want some fluff, I highly recommend it!
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Lucky Stars by magnetarmadda @magnetarmadda
Martin has a lovely family (except his mother) but still, he needs a fake boyfriend, and Jon comes to the rescue. It's one of the first fics I remember reading after I finished the series. It is such a comfort read of mine~
(+enjoy a rare tall Jon from me)
There are so many more fics that also deserve the spotlight, these are just the ones I read multiple times and/or didn't made fanarts for before. If you find something here you like, give them some love! Kudos and comments! They deserve it. (Also, just an extra disclamier some of these are PWP or rated T- just mind the tags)
I tried to link and tag everything, I hope it works.
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yizhou-time · 5 months
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(46) ATEEZ FIC RECS
🍓 fluff | 🌀 angst | 💥 nsfw | 🎧 personal favourite
if any links don’t work or the wrong writers have been tagged please let me know!
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ATEEZ/MULTIPLE
Want You Back | @whimsicalwritingsandmore 🍓🌀
opposites attract w/ matz | @beenbaanbuun 🍓💥🎧
↳ are you ready to get so hooked on something you’ll read every story connected to it and simply sit there waiting for series updates?
Addams!ATEEZ | @fruithoughts 🍓💥
HONGJOONG
Less Than Three | @kbandtrash 🍓
Runaway | @lilacmingi 🍓🌀
To Make An Album | @bambikisss 🍓💥
Never Alone | @iwannasuckyourmonstercock 🌀
Hopefully | @idyllic-ghost 🍓
↳ my hongjoong roman empire and it’s just made up leave me alone
SEONGHWA
The Way to His Heart | @edenesth 🍓🌀🎧
↳ again not a series reader in the slightest but this one is so well done you never know what’s happening next and then you get grown through a loop in the best way possible
let’s not fall in love, again | @baekhvuns 🍓🌀💥🎧
↳ HOW THE AUTHOR CAME UP WITH THIS IS BEYOND ME BUT I REREAD THIS ALL THE TIME I LOVE IT I CANT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE IT JUST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ IT
no title | @mymoodwriting 🍓🌀💥
bodyguard | @baekhvuns 🍓🌀💥
↳ this became my personality for a solid month after its release
cat named mars | @hwaightme 🍓
checkmate | @atinystraynstay 🍓🌀
the lamb and the wolf | @seonghwaddict 🍓💥
YUNHO
Guerilla | @sorryimananti-romantic 🍓🌀💥
opposites attract | @tainsan 🍓🌀💥
↳ another one that became my personality for a solid month after release
what builds a home | @cosmicdumpling 🍓💥 (only a little!)
PILLAGED | @lilacmingi 🍓 (a little 🌀)
something to give each other | @sungbeam 🍓🎧
↳ read this at 5:34am and it changed my life i’m not kidding
Promise | @sorryimananti-romantic 🍓💥 (only a little!)
↳ did my life just change? yes! this authors fics always change my life but this was something else!
entombed | @ghstzzn 💥 (and kinda 🍓) 🎧
YEOSANG
no title | @ateezmakemeweep 🍓🌀
RETURN TO ME | @thewonandonly 🌀💥🎧
↳ this is the the best yeosang fic on this app like i can’t explain any of it like this is one i strongly suggest you read (this is a threat, read the goddamn fic) and that fucking ending i’m literally i can’t it takes everything in me to not spoil it every time i recommend it but i’m telling you you have to read this you know that feeling you get when your heart wrenches and you physically feel it? you get that the whole time with this
for the hope of it all | @starrysvn 🌀🎧
↳ not gonna lie thought about killing myself after reading this 😭😭😭 /j
SAN
The Art of Climbing the Corporate Ladder | @ennysbookstore 🍓🌀💥🎧
↳ another one i can’t explain you have to read this for yourself because you think you know and then no you fucking don’t and then you get really mad and then really sad and then you’re like oh no and then y/n saves it and then san says stuff JUST READ IT
Ceilings [PART 2] | @yoongiseesawmp3 🍓🌀💥
↳ FINALLY THIS GODDAMN TROPE DONE RIGHT LIKE GAG EM THANK YOU GUYS THIS IS SUCH A GOOD READ AND IT DOESNT MOVE FAST LIKE THE OTHER FICS THAT DO THIS TROPE PLEASE
seasons out of time | @nonclassyparty 🍓🌀💥🎧🎧🎧
↳ this is the most soul crushing, heart wrenching, bone shattering piece of media you will ever read like i can’t genuinely put into words how much this fic means to me on like a level like i can’t even describe it help it is one of those fics thag you have to read for yourself and you’ll understand because just when your hopes are up theyre down when they’re down they’re up again in some strange way part two is in the works so i’m preparing for my heart to get stamped on by the author and part 1 is like for me genuinely the absolute best fics on this app so I can’t wait
Reassuring Words and Mellow Touches | @hongjoongsart 🍓🌀
↳ you know when you like feel smth in your gut and you don’t know what, this is what this does to you I swear
a broken routine | @vampzity 🍓🍓🍓🍓🎧
MINGI
Goodbye Summer | @shocymer 🌀🌀🌀
↳ i did cry when i finished this
nightmare, daydream | @mingigoo 🍓💥
One New Message | @hwaightme 🌀
Home | @lovepookie 🍓🍓🍓
WOOYOUNG
Home for the Holidays | @highvern 🍓🌀💥
Say You Love Me Too | @crazyformfics 🍓
change of heart | @hotteoki 🍓
place in me | @starrysvn 🍓🌀🎧
↳ this is my wooyoung roman empire and it didn’t even happen irl
If Without You | @sorryimananti-romantic 🍓🌀
JONGHO
so lovely | @deathbyyeekies 🍓🍓🍓🍓 🎧🎧🎧
↳ i kid you not reading this changed my life like genuinely i’m a changed person now
killin me softly | @deathbyyeekies 🍓
glasses w/ jongho | @beenbaanbuun 🍓
zemblanity | @in-san-ity 🍓🌀💥🎧
↳ it’s so nice watching tropes finally being done right like you don’t even understand how badly i needed this
20:15pm | @xuchiya 🍓
the fear still lingers | @03jyh23 🌀🌀🌀🌀🎧🎧🎧
↳ TOOK EVERYTHING IN ME NOT TO THROW MYSELF OFF A BRIDGE AFTER READING THIS IF YOU’RE WANTING FUCKING INCREDIBLE ANGST READ THIS SHIT AND YOU’LL PHYSICALLY FEEL YOUR HEARTBREAK LIKE MINE DID
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theprettyarachnid · 1 year
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JJK characters and their reaction to a sensitive, innocent and easily flustered s/o🌹
a/n: yes <3 also i was on a roll with this one and i’m proud of myself
also sorry for the depression fest lately, my bad yall
warnings: the more you scroll the more nsfw it gets
characters: itadori, megumi, inumaki, yuuta, gojo, suguru, nanami, sukuna (some characters aged up)
itadori
🕷️ he thinks it’s really cute how flustered you get over the simplest of things
🕷️ he’ll hold your hand and he catches a glimpse of the tips of your ears turning a little red
🕷️ yuji once made a dirty joke while hanging out with you, megumi, and nobara and while the other two were rolling their eyes or saying their piece about the joke, he noticed you having this confused look on your face
🕷️ almost like you were a stranger within an inside joke
🕷️ he took note of it and will occasionally say things that are dirty when it’s just the two of you only to watch it fly over your head
🕷️ yuji doesn’t really lose his temper but you did something reckless on a mission once and he got really upset
🕷️ he couldn’t stop himself from yelling at you out of concern and fear but when you started crying he stopped
🕷️ he immediately gave you hug while you kept apologizing only to hear him shush you
🕷️ he was upset with himself for the rest of the day and a little more
🕷️ he cuddled with you for hours even when you told him you had something to do
🕷️ “just a few more minutes, you’re warm and i don’t want you to go”
megumi
🕷️ you can say whatever you want, i think megumi gets a little flustered at times as well
🕷️ in the beginning of the relationship, nobara and yuji would be snickering in the background as megumi tried to make a move
🕷️ your sensitivity can sometimes be a problem because megumi is naturally stand-offish and can sometimes come off as kind of mean
🕷️ especially because we know he can be kind of bad at comforting people but he’s gotten better at it because of you
🕷️ he likes to tuck your hair behind your ear because he likes seeing your lips thin out while you shyly look down
🕷️ not huge displays of affection in public but even when you two are alone and you kiss both of you end up having coloured cheeks when you pull away
inumaki
🕷️ if he’s feeling like it, he makes you flustered on purpose just for your reaction
🕷️ as well as he’s not one to be ashamed of showing his affection so throughout the day he holds your hand, kisses your cheek, twirls your hair when he’s bored
🕷️ but he finds it funny when he shows big displays of affection watching you try to run off before everyone starts staring but he catches your hand so you can’t leave
🕷️ “tuna!”
🕷️ when you two are alone he’s noticed that you’ve become a little less embarrassed when it’s just the two of you
🕷️ movie night with the gang
🕷️ everyone has turns picking out the movie so panda or gojo (on the rare occasion he joins) might put on a scary movie
🕷️ you’ll cover your eyes at certain parts of the movie but be peaking out a little because you’re too interested
🕷️ he pulls the cringey yawn over the shoulder thing even though he doesn’t have to and he knows it’s cringe
yuuta
🕷️ also finds it cute but goes easy on you even though he could do a lot worse
🕷️ occasionally pokes fun at you but gives you a quick kiss so you know he’s joking and you don’t have to get upset about it
🕷️ sometimes he can’t help himself and puts his hand a little lower than usual or will gently squeeze your waist
🕷️ can be overprotective during missions
🕷️ when he leaves for missions, he gives you multiple pairs of sweatshirts, t-shirts, etc for you to wear and even when people ask “is that yuuta’s” and you get embarrassed you still keep it on
🕷️ yuuta can’t help himself when he gets back, as soon as he sees you he picks you up bridal style and spins you around while kissing you
🕷️ by the time you’ve stopped spinning, you’re out of breath, dizzy, and grinning like an idiot
gojo
🕷️ RELENTLESS
🕷️ consider getting a restraining order
🕷️ like sometimes it can be cute like he’ll call you beautiful but other times he gives you a quick smack on the ass or squeezes your boobs when no one’s around
🕷️ you yell at him at times especially if it was in public and really embarrassing with red cheeks
🕷️ and as a sensitive person myself, probably a little tears in the eyes
🕷️ he feels really bad when you yell at him and hugs you for however long he feels necessary
🕷️ for some reason he really likes seeing you in his shades and randomly will put them on you
🕷️ it doesn’t really make you flustered, you actually find it kind of funny at times
🕷️ even when his eyes are covered, you can feel him staring at you and when his eyes are uncovered it’s in adoration
🕷️ gojo just thinks you’re so pretty and he can’t keep his eyes off you
🕷️ he finds it funny how suggestive jokes go right over your head so he’s more direct when it comes to you
🕷️ he whispers something in your ear occasionally and bites the tip of your ear watching your eyes widen and your face getting red
🕷️ he wiggles his eyebrows whenever he says some promiscuous which makes you make your mouth agape as you just turn your head away
suguru
🕷️ finds it amusing
🕷️ isn’t as relentless but occasionally will intentionally do something here and there
🕷️ when he’s talking to one of his disciples and you’re with him, he slyly moves his hand down to your ass gently squeezing it
🕷️ the disciple usually looks confused when they notice you hide your face while staring at the floor
🕷️ likes to sneak up on you and will give you a kiss behind your ear and feel the blood rush up your neck and onto your face
🕷️ gently cups your cheek and compliments you a little too loudly so people will hear
🕷️ he likes how innocent you are because the less you know the more he can expose you to
🕷️ is really gentle with you so you don’t get upset
🕷️ death penalty to anyone who makes you upset, the more upset you are the more miserable the death is
🕷️ he doesn’t let you know though, the last thing he wants is to see who he really is when it comes to others
nanami
🕷️ noticed it the first time he leaned over you to see what you were doing
🕷️ it was only out of curiosity of what you were doing but he thought it was cute seeing how flustered he made you
🕷️ notices how you keep stealing glances at him when he loosens his tie which shows a bit of his collarbone
🕷️ “you know, you don’t have to be embarrassed around me dear.”
🕷️ even with his statement though, you still would
🕷️ occasionally asks you to loosen his tie for him and watches as you look at the floor quietly giving an “okay” before walking over
🕷️ he takes this opportunity to wrap his arms around you and give you a kiss to the forehead
🕷️ he gives you a small smile when you look up before gently kissing you again on the lips enjoying how your hands tremble a little as you still loosen his tie
🕷️ if he raises his voice out of frustration and sees you curl into yourself while looking at the floor, he makes sure to take a breath and apologize
🕷️ it’s a very rare occurrence but it still happens
🕷️ likes when you sit on his lap while he works because he likes how close you are to him and how you stammer a little bit whenever he talks to you
sukuna
🕷️ oh god
🕷️ not to be cringe but you’re literally in the lions den
🕷️ sometimes literally if you’re in his domain
🕷️ sukuna always makes a point for you to look him in the eyes whenever he talks to you, no matter what he’s saying
🕷️ if you look away from embarrassment, he grabs your chin to make you look at him and sometimes even makes you repeat how he wants you to look at him when he’s talking to you
🕷️ “what did i say about keeping eye contact? say it so i know you understand.”
🕷️ occasionally gives you a break if he’s feeling nice but will still do things to get a reaction
🕷️ you sit on his lap on his throne, one of his arms wrapped around your waist and the other on your thigh
🕷️ a little too high up your thigh most of the time
🕷️ lifts your chin up before he kisses you
🕷️ he doesn’t care if one of his servants comes to him about something and he’s doing whatever to you just to hear you stumble with your words while nervously playing with your hands
🕷️ loves fucking you especially in his true form because he has more arms, two of them holding each of your wrists while another one is slung over his shoulder and being extended just a little too far
🕷️ to make it even worse he makes you beg most of the time and watches your tears run down your face
🕷️ isn’t exactly the nicest person, i mean he’s the king of curses, so he says a lot of insensitive things
🕷️ he rolls his eyes and tells you to stop crying which usually only makes it worse so eventually he gives some weird half-assed kind of an apology so you’ll stop crying
🕷️ he doesn’t say “i’m sorry” but pulls you closer so your head is against his chest while he plays with your hair and that’s usually the closest you get to an apology
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ghoulie-67-baby · 11 months
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Rule breaker- Wizarding world.
Summary: You tried to be a good girl, but a certain Sirius Black makes you break rules.
Warnings: Domxsub dynamics, pet names, SMUT (were not pissing around), Edging (without permission I guess), manipulation, subspace, crying, cum play, using sub as ‘cum dump’, lying, punishment, cum eating, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, slight blackout,
Pairing: Wolfstar x fem!reader.
Word count: 6,290.
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The walk to class was never an easy one. Hogwarts was filled with magic and mischievous ghosts and moving staircases but today this wasn't my issue with getting to classes on time. I had 7 minutes to get to my lesson and I knew if I didn't want to get into trouble with Remus and Sirius then I needed to haul ass, despite my tired legs.
Sighing heavily, I began to climb another staircase, noticing it had not long moved and so wouldn't for a while, and trudging down the corridor with a yawn as my body fought to rouse from its sleep. Despite me having a lie-in, I was still drowsy but I put that down to not getting up until 20 minutes before my class, barely leaving myself enough time to get ready. If Sirius and Remus didn't have an early class then I would have gotten woken but I liked to push my luck when they weren't there. It meant nobody was there to see me break the rules but that was my little secret.
I was almost to the end of the corridor where my first lesson was when a smirking Sirius walked out of an empty room, as if he was waiting for me, with a smug look on his face, blocking my path.
"Well, well, well what have we here?" The grin never left his face as he leaned against the wall on his shoulder and crossed his arms. I smiled sweetly up at him, hoping he didn't point out my sleepy eyes and ruffled looks.
"Morning Pads, how was your first lesson?" Hopefully diverting the attention to him would take his attention from my lie-in.
"It wasn't so bad, I think the most important question is how was your late start Poppet?" I froze and bit my lip, I knew there wasn't any point in denying it unless I wanted to get into any further trouble.
"I didn't mean to get up late, Moony usually has time to wake me but he couldn't this morning." I watched as he nodded his head in faux agreement almost as if he was mocking me before smiling sweetly and moving to kiss my head.
"Well, I have something that could wake you up," His lips ghosted over my temple as he rubbed his hands up and down my arms. I knew by now I was late to my class and the thought of Remus' disappointment made my stomach turn slightly. At the same time, I didn't want to disappoint Sirius, after all, they were both my Doms and so I had to abide by both sets of rules. It was almost as if he could read my mind because he smiled down at me and grabbed my hand, pulling me gently behind him and into the empty room.
"Don't worry Y/N, it's not rule-breaking because you're following my rules." I relaxed a bit more and let my arms wrap around him as he kissed my neck before meeting his lips in a rough kiss. It didn't take long for him to have me perched on the edge of the table, he stood between my parted legs and my hands tangled in his hair as I panted harshly. His hands expertly lifted me from my perch before slipping my underwear off, letting them drop to the floor before grinning down at me. Well at least he got one thing right: I really was wide awake now.
My head hung back, eyes closed and mouth open in a silent moan as he pushed into me with a groan as he bottomed out, stretching me out nicely. For a moment he was still and I looked up at him, admiring his mess of hair as his eyes sparkled with a mischievous smirk. Before long, his stillness turned to short thrusts as he tried to restrain himself before becoming rough and harsh which he knew I loved. The classroom was filled with groans as he chased after his high, using me like I was there for his pleasure only which made whimpers escape me alongside muffled moans as he covered my mouth with his hand to quieten me. My hips bucked in time with his as I gripped his shoulders for support, pulling at his shirt as I got closer to the edge. With a moan, Sirius pushed into me as far as he could before I felt hot thick ropes of his cum coat my insides, almost pushing me over the edge.
Just before I could get my release, he removed himself from me, leaving me a panting and shaking mess that could barely stand up as he moved away to straighten out his uniform. Tears collected in my eyes as I watched him in shock and annoyance. The sparkle never left his eyes as he grinned back at me, straightening his tie.
"Next time don't break the rules and you can cum, you bad girl. Remus is going to be so disappointed in his good little girl when I tell him what you've done. See ya later Poppet." With a wave and a mocking smile, he disappeared out the door and to his next lesson. I tried to shout after him but he ignored me as he ran to his next class.
Now two rules had been broken. I had been late for my class and let Sirius use me without Remus being there or giving permission. Usually, that had to be discussed between the three of us or agreed upon by Remus but this time I knew I would definitely be in trouble, especially if Sirius was to tell Remus it was my idea.
The decision to skip classes was a quick one and so I pulled my underwear back up, ignoring Sirius' cum that slowly seeped out of me, and sped back to our dorm without a word to anyone. Once I reached the common room, I ran upstairs to Remus and Sirius' room and threw myself on the Lycanthrope's bed with a huff. Usually, girls weren't allowed in the boy's dorm, and vice versa, but of course the marauders had found a way around it.
The rest of my morning was spent with me sulking in Remus' bed, trying to read my books but distracted by the need to cum and also by the thought of punishment from my Dom. I had swaddled myself in one of Remus' jumpers, leaving my skirt on and curling under the covers. The day dragged by and if anyone had noticed I hadn't turned up to any class then they mustn't have said anything because no visitors came up, which I was grateful for. As dinner passed, my stomach growled at me but I ignored it as a sick twisted feeling grew. I felt so incredibly guilty and though it was Sirius who had the idea, I shouldn't have agreed because Remus wasn't there too. I knew better than this and now I wasn't a good girl anymore. At least I didn't break a third rule by touching myself without permission even though I was desperate to.
The afternoon was filled with me slipping in and out of subspace, crying to myself and napping because I was exhausted from crying. I was so caught up in my emotions that I forgot Remus finished before Sirius who had an extra class after him. My eyes were still blurred by the tears that tracked down my cheeks when the bedroom door opened and I held in a breath, glad that my face was hidden away from whoever it was by Remus' pillow and my body covered in his blankets. I stiffened as a hand rested against my covered ankle but I soon relaxed when the familiar scent of pine wood and chocolate clouded my senses. Though the intruder had been identified as my Dom, I still kept my face hidden, not wanting to face him right now as guilt wracked me.
"Hey bunny, how come you weren't in lessons?" His voice was so soft and sweet just as it always was when he knew I was having a bad day but today I didn't deserve for him to be nice. "Is everything okay?" I couldn't answer him so I nodded silently. "Bun, Look at me." His voice was slightly harder, knowing he needed to be firm so I'd listen. Reluctantly, I turned onto my other side so he could see my face and raised my eyes to meet his, knowing they were red and puffy. His face flashed with concern and he raised a hand to caress my cheek but I stopped him, shaking my head.
"What happened Bunny?" Remus was far from stupid and wouldn't stop until he got to the bottom of this mess. "Did someone hurt you?"
"No," My voice came out as a whisper. "I'm just a bad girl Remmy, I'm sorry." I got a look of confusion as I curled my legs towards my chest.
"No, you could never be a bad girl f'me Y/N, you're my good girl. What makes you think you're a bad girl?" I bit back a whimper and sighed knowing I had to tell him. Obviously, Sirius hadn't told him so now was my chance to tell him what truly happened.
"I broke two rules. Nearly broke three Remmy." His back straightened slightly as I spoke but he didn't speak, instead he allowed me the chance to explain my wrongdoings. "I got out of bed really late 'n' nearly missed my lesson but when I was making my way to my class Sirius stopped me in the corridor, I would've been on time if he hadn't. I told him I was going to be late because I knew it would be better to tell the truth but I wasn't fully awake yet so he said he could wake me up and pulled me into one of the empty rooms." I sniffled as he nodded for me to continue. "Siri said it would be okay because I was following his rules and being good to him so I wouldn't get in trouble with you but when he was finished he didn't let me cum and left me in the room on my own after telling me I was a bad girl and you were gunna be disappointed with me. I ran straight back up here and haven't been to any lessons. I didn't want him to lie to you about it." By the time I was finished, he looked angry and I sat on the bed with fresh tears on my cheeks, sniffling like a baby.
"Oh Bunny, you poor thing." He crooned, running his hand over my hair and wiping away one of my tears. "So Sirius lied to you about it being okay and then didn't let you finish. Is that why you're so upset? Because you want to cum?"
"Kind of, yes but because I was bad as well, I didn't mean to be bad, he said I was being good f'him." I shifted uncomfortably against the blanket which didn't go unnoticed.
"You're not bad, Sirius is the one that's bad Bunny and I'll be dealing with him later." His eyes travelled down to my curled-up legs. "Did he clean you up after at least?" I shook my head no as he gently pulled down the covers. I let my legs part as he moved my underwear to one side and sighed in frustration at our boyfriend. "Why haven't you cleaned his cum away Bun?"
"I didn't wanna break another rule so I left it," I admitted, blushing as he watched Sirius' cum leak from me. Remus shook his head and moved back to his sitting position before smiling at me softly.
"You're not a bad girl, you know you should get up earlier but if Sirius hadn't stopped you and done this then you would have been on time for the lesson which I would've let slide. As for what happened, That's his fault and he will be punished accordingly so don't worry, you didn't break the rules. I'm very proud that you didn't want to break another rule but you can still clean yourself up Love, we wouldn't class that as rule-breaking."
"Thank you for not being angry Remmy." I smiled, feeling a little better about the day now that he knew what had happened. With a sigh I sat up and shuffled into Remus' lap to cuddle him, knowing now he wasn't angry at me at all. His warm arms wrapped around me gently and I nuzzled into his chest, getting as close as physically possible, feeling a little better now I knew he wasn't angry with me.
"Let's get you cleaned up Love and then I can help you out." I nodded and climbed out of his lap and walked into the bathroom, whining when I felt something warm drip through my underwear and down my thigh. The lycanthrope chuckled as I watched it slip down my leg and began to strip off my clothes, leaving them in a pile on the bathroom floor as he got me some fresh underwear and one of his cardigans. He knew I hated wearing my clothes because his and Siri's were always more comfortable.
I waited in the bathroom for him to come back, shifting from one foot to the other as my hands stayed clasped in front of me, not wanting to be tempted into rule-breaking. As he walked back in, he smiled at me and kissed my head before stripping my underwear off and leaning me over the bathroom counter gently. I gasped as the cold surface met my chest and closed my eyes, holding in a whimper as he brushed his fingers over my hip gently, seeing the new bruises that had formed from Sirius' hands. I didn't mind the bruises, I actually loved having them, made me feel like I belonged. Seconds later, I jolted out of my thoughts as he started to clean me up, tutting to himself, being as gentle as always with me. A small moan slipped through my lips as he finished cleaning me, forgetting how sensitive and needy I was at the moment.
"Sorry Bun, "He pressed a kiss to my shoulder before sliding my feet into the underwear and pulling them up as I stood up from the counter. The wool of the cardigan glided across my skin as I melted into the fabric, encased in the Wolf's scent, and snuggled into his chest as I was buried in his arms. "That better now love?" I nodded against his chest and hummed happily before kissing his cheek gently.
"Thank you, Remmy." He gave me another squeeze before walking back into the room with me and patting his lap as he sat on the bed, against the headboard. I grinned and climbed onto the bed, settling myself so I was straddling him with my legs on either side of his hips. His hands looked huge against my thighs and I traced the scars on them with a small smile.
"Feeling better now little one?" His eyes were warm and kind as always. I nodded as his thumb rubbed against my skin, feeling a little more settled but still itching for some sort of contact. "Still feeling needy huh? Have you eaten yet Bunny?" I dropped my eyes from his and glanced at his hands shyly whilst shaking my head slowly. "Well, you need to eat a little something before anything happens because I don't want you getting ill." I nodded softly and clambered off his lap as he nipped down to the common room to make a sandwich. After he had brought it up and settled on the bed with me, I nibbled at it in little bits, glad to have the encouragement of my dom, not wanting to eat after the day I'd had but doing it because I knew he was right. Once I had finished half, I looked at Moony and he nodded in understanding, taking the plate and placing it on the bedside table, he knew I couldn't eat it all at the moment.
Minutes passed, and I let my food settle and had a drink of water before I started to feel fidgety and needy again. I pressed my face into the Lycanthrope's neck as I whined at him, hoping it would catch his attention. He chuckled but pulled my face to him, letting our lips connect into a gentle kiss. Instantly, I melted with a small sigh as my chest fell so it was pressing against his comfortably, soothed by the feeling of his thumb rubbing my skin gently. I whimpered quietly as I felt his bulge start to grow beneath me and tried as hard as I could to keep my hips still. Large hands slid from my thighs to my waist and started to move my hips slowly, silently allowing me to grind against him as my head started to cloud.
Warmth spread through my body as the anxiety and frustration I had from earlier melted away in lust for my Dom. The feeling of his rough hands against my hips mixed with the bulge beneath me had my back arching as I sped up the pace a little.
"Ah ah Bunny, you've had a very overwhelming and emotional day," He cut himself off with a low groan, grip tightening on my hips. "You need to take this slow or you'll drop and we know how bad you get when that happens don't we?" I knew the question was rhetorical so I slowed myself down back to the original speed before wrapping my arms around his neck loosely. His warmth soothed me until a chuckle began to rumble in his chest which caught my attention. "Bun, I can feel how wet you are right now and I've barely touched you. I can smell you too, you smell delicious." His voice lowered considerably when he said it and I hid my face in his throat as the blood flushed my already warm cheeks. "Awww my shy girl, don't have to be shy f'me Bun, let me see your pretty little face." I lifted my head to find him smiling at me lovingly and pulling open the buttons of the cardigan, exposing my bare chest to him. Warm lips met my collarbone as he kept my hips moving slowly but kissed any skin he could get to. I let my head fall back and my mouth open in a sigh of relief as his mouth made its way down to my nipples, which had hardened when the cool air of the dorm met them. I wrapped my fingers into his hair and pulled his head from my chest gently.
"Remmy, I really really need you," I pressed my forehead against his, pressing my core against him harder. "Please, want you to do whatever you want with me. Make me do anything to you, use my mouth or my body, anything." I truly was desperate for anything he was willing to give me, I was on the verge of tears.
"Bun, I'm not gonna use you, Sirius did that and you ended up in this state so I'm gonna help you and give you what you need and want. This is about you baby." His hands manoeuvred me as he spoke, placing me against the pillows carefully as my breath caught in my throat. "Now, what's my name little one?"
"Daddy, you're my Daddy." I didn't have the energy or patience to be bratty about it so I gave him the right answer the first time.
"Good girl, now let Daddy take these off," He tugged at the waistband of my underwear and I lifted my hips so he could slip them off. "Let me see my pretty girl." I let my legs spread and watched as he grinned and licked his lips as if he was hungry. "Atta girl." A gentle thumb rubbed patterns on my skin as he knelt on the bed, level with my throbbing heat. "Bunny's all wet f'me huh? D'you think I should help out?" I nodded furiously and bit my lip to hold in a whine at the teasing.
He chuckled darkly and slid his hands under my parted legs to hold them apart with strong hands before peppering kisses over the skin of my thighs, working closer and closer as he went. When the kisses reached where I wanted him most, he continued but avoided touching my clit. I whimpered as his grip tightened and he finally pressed his mouth to me, letting his tongue rub around my bundle of nerves. If it wasn't for his hands holding me down then I knew my hips would be pushing against his mouth as hard as I could. It didn't take long for him to get the idea of what I needed as his tongue finally met my clit, tracing circles into it. My legs tensed as a gasp escaped me, my eyes squeezing shut as a flash of long-awaited pleasure ran through me. I lifted my head and looked down at him, eyes meeting my Dom's as they sparkled.
"Daddy, please, need more." I felt breathless as he gave me just what I asked for, moving one of his hands to rub circles into my clit as his tongue thrust inside me with a groan. It didn't take long for the feeling to begin bubbling in my abdomen as he sped up, knowing by the way my body reacted that I wouldn't be able to last much longer. My breath got heavier as I moaned and gasped through the feeling, reaching my peak as he nipped at my clit. The world seemed to drown out as a much-needed feeling washed over me and I came, moaning and thrashing as he held me down and carried me through it.
"Shh shh, it's okay Bunny," He crooned, slowing his motions down before coming to a stop and pressing kisses to my trembling thighs. "That's daddy's good girl." The pet name made me feel warm and fuzzy as I drifted down from my peak, opening my eyes to find his amber eyes staring back at me. He licked his lips before running his hand over his mouth with a grin. "You really are delicious Bun."
I smiled and pulled him down towards me for a kiss, hands bunching into his jumper as his lips met mine. I pulled at it, letting him sit up to pull off the jumper and shirt so I could touch his bare chest, grinning at how warm he was. My fingers traced over his scars nonchalantly as they always did and he smiled down at me. I loved the feeling of the scars, they were a big turn-on for me, and him letting me touch them meant he trusted me, especially in such an intimate moment.
"Let's get you stretched out and I'll give you everything you want little one," I nodded softly and bit my lip as two of his fingers worked inside me, giving me enough to sigh in pleasure and relief but not satisfy me completely. "Good girl Bunny." The praise made the flush on my chest travel to my cheeks and a hazy smile made its way to my face.
"I wouldn't be doing that if I were you Moony," My moans were cut off by Sirius as he spoke up from the doorway. My eyes widened as I heard his voice and Remmy's thumb rubbed my hip to comfort me as he turned to meet Sirius' gaze. I could hear the smirk in his voice as he caught us.
"And why's that Pads?" His tone stayed neutral so he didn't tip the other male off that he knew what had happened. "She's my good girl and good girls deserve to feel good." The darker-haired male scoffed at the words, chuckling darkly as Remus rubbed his free hand on my thigh gently.
"Well, your good girl happens to be a rule breaker and apparently a liar Remus or didn't she tell you what she did?" Remus smiled down at me, hidden from Siri's gaze.
"Oh you mean about how she got up late and didn't go to a single lesson." Sirius nodded but gestured for him to continue to say there was more than just that. "And perhaps you mean about how she was taken into a side room with someone who just used her as a cumdump," My core clenched around his fingers at the words, "leaving her hurting and needy so she spent the day up here suffering and upset and so far in subspace that she thought cleaning herself up would be rule-breaking." Sirius' smug grin dropped as soon as he realised Remus knew and I couldn't help the slight smile on my face. "Or maybe you mean the part where you tricked her into thinking it wasn't rule-breaking because she was doing as you said, could possibly even be the part where you said you'd lie to me and say it was her idea." I knew Remus was unhappy and disappointed with his other sub by this point but his fingers didn't stop moving inside me, letting me feel him inside me as I let out soft whimpers and moans that broke through the tension. I almost cried out as the lycanthrope pulled his fingers out of me so he could stand, stalking toward Padfoot, but I swallowed it down because I was his good girl and didn't want to interrupt.
"Moony, I didn't mean for her to get hurt or upset." He began, "I saw her on the way to class and I couldn't help myself she was just so beautiful." My body flushed more at the unexpected compliment. "I just wanted to get a release is all." Remus shook his head in annoyance as he cornered the smaller boy with a dark grin.
"I don't care, you still did it even when you knew it wasn't allowed. And didn't you think that maybe Y/N wanted a release too rather than being used and left pent up with your cum still inside her for the day?" My body shivered at his words, my pussy clenched around the air. "Because that's how I found her. Crying on my pillow with your cum dribbling out of her. She missed out Pads, big time and now because of what you did you're gunna miss out too." As he spoke, Remmy pulled Sirius by the wrist over to one of the chairs and used wordless magic to bind him to it but not before removing his clothes with a spell.
"Moons, I didn't mean to, please don't make me sit here and -"
"I'm sorry, I didn't recall saying you had a choice or that you could speak did I?" His eyes glared into Siri's as he straightened himself out and began to strip off himself entirely. My mouth watered as he got entirely naked and I sat up slightly so I could watch the way his muscles shifted under his freckled skin. "I'm going to make her feel so good and you're going to watch and think about what you did and how you can make it up to her. And if she's not entirely satisfied then you'll have to do whatever she wants. Is that understood?" His voice was harsh and clipped as he walked back over to the bed, nodding in satisfaction when the tied-up boy agreed.
"Can I please have you now Daddy?" I begged, pulling his shoulders down as he came to kneel on the bed between my legs.
"Of course, you can Bunny." I smiled as he pulled me into a kiss, his tongue mingling with my own so the taste of my cum transferred into my mouth, leaving me moaning. My breath hitched in anticipation as Remus positioned himself at my entrance, using my cum as lubrication to push into my tight, throbbing heat. My grip on his shoulders tightened as he pushed into me as far as he could. A loud groan filled the room as the tip of his cock came to a stop against my cervix, unable to go any further; I never could fully fit him. Sirius' desperate moans faded into the background as my body jolted with short, sharp thrusts. I let my eyes meet his tear-filled grey ones as my own watered with pleasure and relief giving him an idea of what he could've had if only he'd played fair.
"Please Rem, it hurts," Siri whined as he tried to wiggle in his bands, hissing as the red, leaking tip of his cock rubbed against his stomach at the movement, eyes fluttering away from my face.
"That's a real shame Pads," The wolf growled sarcastically, gritting his teeth as I clenched around him, pulling him close to me. "Now you know how my Bunny felt." My walls fluttered as his thrusts sped up and I climbed towards my peak much quicker than I'd have liked. It didn't take long for him to find a specific spot along my velvet walls which made me see stars as a loud and almost pornographic moan ripped from my throat, making me gush around my Dom as I toppled over my peak and through my high. The way I tightened around him, had him moaning loudly and stuttering hips came to a stop as he buried as far into me as he could, thick ribbons of his cum coating my insides generously as he buried his face in my neck, biting down to leave his mark. He stifled his moans as they vibrated against my neck.
I raked my fingers through his hair as my vision came back into focus and listened to the sounds of his panting and last few moans. His head lifted slowly, letting his eyes fall on mine, before dipping to kiss me sweetly.
"Any better Bunny?"
"Much better, thank you, Daddy." I giggled as he pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose before pulling out slowly, hushing me as I whined at the feeling and overstimulation.
"D'you think we should let him help?" I hummed in thought for a moment before nodding up at him. "Okay Pads, you follow my every word or you go back on the chair." His curly hair bounced as he nodded vigorously. "You're going to kneel in between her legs and eat every last bit of my cum out of her, swallow it all, and then maybe I'll let you get some stimulation on you're selfish, needy cock." With a snap of his fingers, the binds fell away from the marauder's body and disappeared, allowing the boy to scramble over to the bed and straight to where Remmy said.
I worked through the sensitivity as his tongue began to lap at my pussy, ignoring how it quivered at the feeling. Large hands snaked around my thighs as he held my legs open for him so he could feast to his heart's content. I whined, feeling cum begin to slide out of me and down towards the bed sheets. Before it could get any further, Sirius' tongue licked a stripe from my ass upwards to catch it and swallow it down just as he'd been told to. Keening at the feeling, he buried his face into my pussy, suckling and slurping at me as my fingers curled into his hair and the bedsheets, loving how his fingers dug into my thighs. Small tears began to drip down my cheeks as the strength of my pleasure shook my thighs around his head. The sounds of his moans as he ate me out made my stomach clench in pleasure and anticipation and I found myself fighting to hold back the third orgasm of the day.
"Daddy," I gasped. "M'close again." A smile donned my Dom's face as he reached down to brush the hair from my face. My voice was barely a whisper as sobs of pleasure began to rack my body.
"Go ahead baby, cum on Padfoot's tongue."And with that, I let my body release what I'd been holding back, gasping my way through it. Though it was an amazing feeling, this was different from the others, more soothing because of the sensitivity and stimulation, leaving me feeling warm and fuzzy, like I was drifting. "That's it, good girl." His voice kept me grounded as I shuddered through the feeling, not being able to stop my trembling legs as he lapped at me, slower now. The subspace I had been suffering in earlier melted into a gentle and calm one that I had needed.
"Can't do anymore Daddy," I whimpered, fingers tightening in Sirius' curls as I tried to pull him away from my throbbing heat. "No more mouth, Daddy, tell 'im please." Remus chuckled and nodded at my request.
"Alright Pads, enough now." On cue, the mouth against me retracted and he came into view above me, a small grin but apologetic eyes as he hovered over me. He leaned down to kiss me softly and I reciprocated, enjoying his soft lips on my own. "Okay Bunny, One last time and then you can rest okay? I know we have you worked up but this will be last because he's been good and listened to me." I didn't have the strength to argue with him as my other Dom positioned my legs around his waist before pressing into me slowly. My back arched at the feeling, eyes rolling back and mouth open in a silent moan whilst the tears were wiped from my cheeks. His head fell into the crook of my neck as he thrust against me, having lost all of his composure from his punishment and eating what was left over from it. My eyes squeezed shut, my fingers scrambled against his back as he sped up, not being able to hold back as long as he'd like, my nails making crescent dents in his soft skin.
"Come on Poppet," He growled into my ear, with me whining in response. "One more, just one." His thrusts began to lose their rhythm as I clenched around him, eyes flowing with tears. "Cum for me Poppet." The way he moaned in my ear sent me over my final peak and I couldn't tell if the moan was loud or silent with how strong the feeling surged through me. I heaved for air as it was knocked out of my lungs, gripping onto whatever I could to try and stop the feeling of falling. It took what felt like a good while for me to come back to my senses.
"That's it Bunny, You're okay." The first feeling I could isolate was the way my legs trembled, aching from their spread position though there was nobody in between them anymore. My own broken breaths sounded in my ears as my heart thumped against my ribs. Gentle hands held my hair back from my face as my eyes fluttered behind their lids.
"Come on Poppet, come back to us." Sirius seemed to beg as he whispered to me, a large hand wiping the tears from my face as I came back down. I whined at the feeling of more cum slipping out of me and groaned as my eyes batted open and painfully lifted my aching legs to curl them to my side to stop the pain of being spread too long. "There she is." His grin looked relieved as he glanced down at me. The bed shifted beside me as Remus got up and returned from the bathroom with a warm, damp washcloth. My legs snapped shut around his hand as he started to clean up the mess that was left behind, hissing at the over-sensitive feeling that shocked my body.
"Now Bunny," The lycanthrope warned. "You have to let me clean you up. Can't leave you in this mess." Too exhausted to fight, I let him part my legs one more time and swipe, dab and clean away Sirius' cum and my own. All the while, I cried out in discomfort and slight pain but tried to focus on Sirius' gentle hand rubbing my stomach. It didn't take long for Remmy to finish his task but by the time he was stopping I weakly kicked his hands away, whimpering and welling up with more tears.
"No more, ouch Remmy, stop," I begged through tears, their faces blurring as Remus came to sit at the top of the bed with us. "Can't do it, hurts Rem, all done," I mumbled tiredly, making no sense but soothed by the covers that were pulled up over my body and the two boys that cuddled me and caressed my body sweetly whilst I floated.
"All done Bunny don't worry." A shivering exhale deflated my body, letting me relax bonelessly against the bed.
"Poppet," Sirius whispered, a hand running through my hair as my eyes met his own. "I'm sorry for what I did sweet girl, I won't ever hurt you like that again I swear. I'm sorry." I smiled softly at him and nodded, pulling him down for a gentle kiss to let him know he was forgiven.
"I think it's time you got some rest now though Bunny, Your body is exhausted and your head is too fuzzy so you need to sleep it off." Before Moony had finished talking, I was already drifting off. I finally fell asleep to the two protecting me and holding me to them like I was a prized possession.
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lixern · 1 year
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ONE ON THE BACK- NOTHA' ONE ON THE FRONT!
` think i need someone older . . . jingren x gn!reader <-
xx. tags; poly┊jing yuan┊blade┊jingren┊all of u are in an rs┊blade punishes u┊threesome┊oral┊edging┊overstimulation┊degradation┊praise┊full nelson┊rough sex┊hints of double penetration┊begging┊orgasm denial┊getting caught┊exhibitionism┊multiple orgasm┊cunnilingus┊pet names (mostly just darling or something)┊pussy drunk bladie and yuan┊they cant get enough of u!! dealer's note; this was written a month ago or maybee more before being posted, and yes this was SPECIFICALLY something ive been looking for, FOR A LONGM LONG TIME AGO!!!! i didnt find it ofc, so why not just write it myself :3 anyway, to that one anon who sent a platonic jing yuan work request ill do it soon if i got an idea on how to write it AYUBUASBUASDUBAD also love u guys omg my accounts growing fast :((
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Who knows how you got into this position.. oh! You know.
You really just had to tease Blade during his important duties.. God, he was so frustrated. Your pretty face- pretty self, it made him insane. You just wanted to get into trouble huh? You know what you did, you really did know. He dragged you into your shared home afterwards, immediately ripping off those clothes you wore. It's okay, Jing Yuan could buy another set of outfits for you.
Blade got you all riled up and wet, but he never let you cum. You were so tired.. fingered, stretched out. His fingers scissored your insides to loosen you up for his giant cock. And when you were all messed up, crying for him, he finally let you.
Not before you say "Please" and take his cock though, he needs you all messed up first.
Unfortunately, (or fortunately, hm?) you came, just as you saw the sight of Jing Yuan entering the room. He looked so unfazed, so unbothered as he walked up to you and Blade.
"Jing Yuan, you're home early."
Blade spoke, spreading your legs wider for him as you had your back to his chest- sitting ontop of him.
"A lovely welcome, Blade."
Jing Yuan replied, walking over to you with a gentle.. mischievous smile. You and Blade were at the edge of the bed, giving Jing Yuan easy access to your greedy sex.
He flicked a finger on it, sweetly dragging it across your sensitive spot. But you just came! You were so sensitive.
You were too fucked out to notice what Blade was doing, till he laid down- dragging you with him.
"Jing Yuan, aren't they so welcoming?"
He asked Blade, slowly moving his hands down to your waist. Full nelson, such a vulnerable position for the both of you. Your legs spread even more, as Jing Yuan opened them.
You gasped as you felt Blade move again, his thrusts unforgiving. It felt so good.. but then Jing Yuan started to suckle on your throbbing little spot.
"Mmghn- J-Jing Yuan! S'too s-sensitive.. anghuuugh~~! S-Sho' good! D-Don't stooppnmhn!"
You moaned out, but Blade seemed to be speeding up his thrusts. He used a hand to caress your face, making you look at him, even though your vision was cloudy, and you couldn't look at him fully.
"Come on, don't you think you can get my name out of your mouth too? Ah, Jing Yuan, this is a punishment for them, they were a bit naughty during my work phase."
Blade spoke to the both of you, bucking his hips up harder.
"B-Blade! pleaseeenghuhnmnh!"
You moaned, asking for release. Jing Yuan then started sucking even more sloppily- he used his hands to gently part your legs even farther.
It was a heavenly mix of rough and gentle, you couldn't ask for more.
Yet- both of them had the power to make you ask for even more.
"N-Need to c-cumgnhn! P-Please! H-Haven't I been so g-goodmngh~?"
You begged them, yet they were so stern. Atleast Blade was, unlike Jing Yuan.
"Blade, don't you think we should let our little darling cum?"
Jing Yuan asked, trying to persuade Blade. He then licked a fat stripe up your sex, that sweet little spot that greedily throbbed for their attention.
"Hm.. I supposed they were good."
Blade said, before suddenly pulling out. Why? You thought, but then-
He slammed it back in with force, so hard. He continued slamming it back in and out, pulling it out all the way before thrusting it deep inside.
Jing Yuan on the other hand got the hint, suddenly speeding up his sucks and licks, he kneaded your thighs with his hands, trying to stimulate you even further. You looked at Jing Yuan, seeing him looking at you with a gentle smile, which didn't match his speed right now at all. Blade on the other hand, you could feel him smirking- licking your neck and biting.
"C-Close- mhaaangh!~ L-Love you two s-so much!"
The feeling was too much- and they both went so feral after the "I love you" you spat out at them. Moaning loudly as you came, you felt Blade's thrusts slow and Jing Yuan's mouth retract itself from you.
"Hahhng...."
You breath out, before gasping as you felt Blade move suddenly again. You look at Jing Yuan, silently pleading hm to stop- but not really, it felt all too good. But then you notice Jing Yuan take off his pants too..
"Ready to take both of us, darling?"
Jing Yuan said. God, you would be sore as fuck in the morning.
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luvyeni · 2 years
Note
Hellow. I was wondering if you can write this silly thing in my mind, Jay with a Chubby girlfriend, he's experienced and basically all the college girls recognize him as a sex God until he met her, she's virgin and insecure, like it actually took Jay a long time to gain her trust because she was thinking that it was impossible someone so popular and handsome like him liked some like her.
Here's my plot: all the girls have been talking about her and how fat and ugly she's making her even more insecure to the point that she push away Jay when he touched her like he usually does even just holding hands, especially when he holds her waist. But he's so in love with her that he just adores every single inch of her, reassuring her that no one is as beautiful as her, so he just kiss every inch of her making her first time so special and full of love and tears because I'm a cry insecure baby
Sorry for the long ask, literally i dreamed about this 🥺
FOREVER AND ALWAYS; PARK JEONGSEONG
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pairings. boyfriend!jeongseong x fem!reader
wc. 1.9k
warnings. talks of weight, fatshaming, insecurities, oral (f. reader), unprotected sex, overstimulation, reader cries.
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i hope it's like you dreamed💓! the bullying kind of made me sad since im a big girly myself, so i didn't add too much.
after finding out people have been saying horrible things about you, he's determined to show you how much he loves you.
"she's so shameless, if i was that fat i wouldn't wear such things." you frowned, looking down at the message wishing jay would hurry up. "yeah, jay is such a cute guy, he could get anyone he wants, i don't understand why he would date someone like her."
"it's probably a joke, it has to be."
you could hear them laughing at you , and they knew you could hear them. they knew because it was something you heard on a daily occurrence by people just like them.
"baby." jay ran over to you, kissing your cheek, noticing how you moved your face, but deciding to ignore it. "hey jay." the girls giggled flirtatiously. "hi." he turned back to smiling.
"my class got held up, im sorry, you ready to go home?" he went to grab your hand, something he always did when you'd walked back to your shared apartment near campus, so you could imagine his surprise when you brushed it away. "yeah, let's go."
jay was confused, it's been a while since you avoided his affection. when you started dated, jay had a reputation , that forbid you to trust him , being really standoffish , jay was much more experienced than you , actually you had no experience due to your insecurities. jay was aware of this , so he actually took the time to get to know you , and form a relationship with you , a year later and he didn't even care that you haven't had sex , he just wants to be around you all the time.
"let's stop and get some food to take home." he pointed to your favorite store. "i'm not hungry." jay was serious when it came to food though. "well then put in the fridge and eat it later, let's just get it now." he held the door open, letting you walk in.
"do you want the regular?" he stood behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist, kissing you lovingly. you felt eyes on you, and the chuckles, pushing his arm away. "get whatever jay." you went to go wait by the door, you didn't mean to sound so rude, but you really just wanted to go home.
jay couldn't even ask you what was wrong because he was next in line, and you had already put your headphone on, spaced out.
you walked the rest of the way in silence, headphones on as you finally made it to your apartment, taking your shoes off , making your way to your room, undressing out of your day clothes.
"wait, are we just not gonna talk about it." jay followed behind. "what are you talking about?" you searched through the drawer in your underwear and a tank top, looking for a pair of sweats.
"you've been acting weird the entire walk home, you've avoided my affection multiple times, you keep looking around to see if people are looking, what is it? what's wrong." you turned to him. "why are you still here?" he took a step back. "what."
"you can have anybody you want, there are girls lining up to have sex with you, they do it right in front of me so know, why are you here? what do you want from me? am i just a joke that you're stringing along for a laugh with your friends?" jay was stunned, even on your worst days, you've never snapped at him, and he could tell you didn't mean it either cause of the widening of your eyes.
"im so sorry, i didn't mean it." he was silent, just pulling you into a hug. "i'm sorry." he rubbed up and down your back. "it's okay." he whispered. "i know you didn't mean it." he could feel your shoulders shaking as you sniffled into his neck, your tears warm. "they're so mean." jay finally got what was bothering you , and he was pissed. how dare they make you feel like this, after everything he's done to make you feel secure, how dare they treat you like this.
"listen to me, there is no one as beautiful as you are, you understand me?" he looked at you with a serious face. "i don't want anyone else but you, and i will spend as long as i need to, to prove it to you love." he held your cheek in his hand, wiping the tears. "i love you okay?" you sniffled, nodding. "i love you too."
he kissed the apples of your cheeks. "my fools made my pretty baby feel bad about herself, they'll pay for this i swear." he kissed your lips. "my baby doesn't see how beautiful she is, but i do, she is the most beautiful person in the whole world." he kissed your neck. "i just love her so much." he said in between kissed. "j..jay." he shushed you. "let me show you baby just how beautiful i think you are." he backed you up against the bed, pushing you down softly.
"so so pretty." he climbed on top of you, continuing his assault on your neck. "j..jay, feels so good." you moaned. "yeah? does it?" he kissed down to your chest. "im gonna make you feel so good princess." his hand came up to grope your tits. "been waiting so long to feel these in my hand baby, so soft." you're back arched off the bed at the sensation. "so sensitive."
"t..they're too big." he lifted your shirt off your body, going back to squeezing them. "they're fucking perfect baby, i can't wait to fuck them, paint them with my cum." he licked a nipple. "jay f..fuck." you sighed, as he licked and sucked on your nipples, showing them each the same amount of love and affection, before he continued down to your tummy.
"your pretty tummy, love to touch. " his kisses were hot on your stomach. "made me feel really bad earlier, my pretty baby wouldn't let me touch her pretty tummy like i always do, it's my favorite thing, but she denied me." he was getting dangerously close to your underwear. "m..m'sorry." he gave your stomach one more kiss. "i know baby, you're gonna repay me by letting me eat your pretty pussy aren't you?" his words made your hips involuntarily buck up.
"y..yes." he slowly slid your panties down your legs, kissing up your legs, until he was face to face with your heat. "s.stop staring." you tried to close your legs, but he held them open. "sorry love, i can't help it, you're so pretty, everything about you is so pretty." he kissed the inside of your thighs. "i really want you to sit on my face." you whined, he looked up at you. "not right now." he nodded. "okay princess we don't have to, it's all about you." he gave your thighs a few more kisses, you could feel his breathing on your heat.
"jay please." you mewled trying to move your hips. "do something." he kissed your thighs one more time, before giving your cunt a surprise lick. "jay." your hands gripped the bedsheet. "taste so good baby." he gave your cunt a few kitten licks before eating you out like a starved man.
you've never felt something like this, the way he would switch between long stripes up your wet cunt, to little kitten licks, it had your head spinning. one particular lick had you grabbing his hair, grinding your cunt against his face. he moaned right into your heat, allowing you to use him to get yourself off.
"jay i feel- shit it feels so good." he could feel you gripping his hair a little harder, you about to cum. "go a head and cum pretty girl." you felt something build up in your abdomen, then snap. "im cumming!" jay continued licking your mess, riding out your high, until he felt your hips jerk from overstimulation. "j..jay."
"okay princess im done." he gave your clit one more kiss, before coming up, his lips glossed from your essence and spit. "you taste so good, i couldn't help it." his hand came down to his crotch, palming his hard on. "jay- we don't have to do anything right now, i just wanted to show you how much i love you."
you ignored him, replacing his hand with yours, rubbing him. "i want to, i'm ready." he groaned, hips bucking into your touch. "fuck- fine princess, i'll be gentle i swear." you trusted jay, you knew he wouldn't harm you. "i know you will." he climbed off of you, getting rid of all his clothes.
you never seen a cock before beside the videos, but his was probably the prettiest you've ever seen, he wasn't intimidatingly big; thick enough to make you feel good, veins decorated the sides all the way up to his dark red tip that had precum bubbling at the top, it made your mouth water.
"princess why are you staring so much?" he smirked, his thumb coming up to rub your clit. "p..pretty." he chuckled. "thank you love." he teased your hole with a finger. "so wet princess." he slowly slid his finger in. "gotta stretch you out a bit pretty, so it won't hurt as much." he slowly fingered you before pulling out.
"you ready beautiful?" you nodded. "please put it in jay." he bent down, kissing your lips, distracting you as he slowly pushed himself inside your hole. "j..jay." you moaned in pain and pleasure at the stretch. "i know love, i know." he slowly bottomed out inside you, letting out a low moan as you successfully took him hole. "pretty girl, you took all of me."
you were so tight, the way you clenched around him so tightly he knew he wasn't gonna last long, it had been a year since he had sex with anyone, forced to use his hand. "fuck baby, if i don't move now, im gonna cum just from your pretty pussing clenching around me." you moaned. "y..you can move." he pulled out, pushing himself inside you all at once this time. "f..fuck jay!" he began to thrust himself in and out of you.
"shit! princess you're so tight, so fucking wet."
his eyes were glued to your tits, the way they bounced along with every thrust. "so pretty baby, you're so fucking pretty— shit- i hate when you talk bad about yourself." you were a moaning mess. "you're so beautiful, you mean so much to me, you understand me." you nodded, but jay wanted to hear you.
"i said do *thrust* you *thrust* under *thrust* stand *thrust* me?" you felt the build up in your abdomen. "i..i understand." he kissed your lips. "i love you so much, don't forget that." you couldn't understand why, but you started to cry. "i..i love you too." he kissed your cheeks. "j..jay i'm gonna cum." he reached in between your bodies rubbing your clit. "cum for me pretty, go a head." you were a crying fucked out mess as you came on his cock. "shit!" he pulled out, fisting his cock before spilling all over your abused twitching hole.
you were still crying, overwhelmed by everything, jay pulled you into a hug, not caring about the sweat, or the smell of sex in the air, he only cared about you. "it's okay love, im right here." he rocked your body. "let it out."
he let you get yourself together before he helped you clean up, bringing you back to the bed. "don't go." he smiled, caressing your face. "i'll be right back." he said exiting the room. he returned back with the food you bought. "let's just eat in here tonight, i'll clean everything else later." you smiled as your boyfriend set everything up. "what is it?" he laughed. "i just love you so much." he kissed your lips, pulling away smiling.
"i told you, i'll always be here for you, i love you too, forever and always."
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©���LUVYENI
1K notes · View notes
m00nsbaby · 1 year
Text
Sleepwalking. (Already over II)
Steven Grant ( + Marc Spector) x F! Reader.
First part: Already Over.
Next part: Clumsy.
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Tags & warnings. Angst, like, just angst. Steven hurts his hand at the beggining so there's blood involved, Marc is kind of a... jerk.
Word count. 3.8k
Summary.
What a shame, what a shame, what a shame, It's all fun and games 'til you don't wanna play now. Run away, run away, run away, It's easy to say but it's harder to say now. You're onto something else, I'm a picture left on your shelf. The dream's a lie I tell myself Feel like I'm sleepwalking when you're gone. 
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The moment the bomb detonated was more horrible than Marc had imagined. Not only because of Steven, who in his mind was the worst of his problems, but because the moment you closed the door behind you, it felt as if you had taken his heart with you.
Marc collapsed on the floor, unable to cry, even if he wanted to. He wasn't like Steven; he couldn't just let it flow, but at this moment, it seemed more like he was in shock.
He wondered, did that really happen or am I just dreaming?
His body tensed for a few seconds; he closed his eyes tightly, and before he could protest, Steven had taken control of the body. He had struggled so hard to keep him in the shadows that his body felt exhausted, with a horrible burning sensation in his muscles.
"Marc?" he questioned out loud, still on the floor. "Marc? What did you do?"
There was no response, and he could only swallow hard as if it would help wash away the bad taste in his mouth.
"What did you do, Marc?" Sometimes the best part of having Steven was having a way to express his pain. By the third time he asked, his voice was already broken, his vision blurred by the tears that threatened to come out at any moment.
Finally, the other one had the courage to respond.
"L-Layla knows," was the only thing that sounded in the headspace.
"How am I going to fix this, Marc?" Memories of what happened just a few minutes ago came to him in flashes; he didn't have the whole conversation because Marc had forced him to stay in the shadows.
The mere image of your heartbroken gaze was enough to cause nightmares for the rest of his life, whether he managed to fix Marc's mistake or not.
"I don't care; I don't care about her!" He sobbed with anger coursing through him from head to toe. At this point, his pain seemed more physical than emotional. He felt exactly like that time when he was impaled multiple times in Cairo.
But worse. At that time, he had a suit to protect him. How would he deal with this now without anything to shield him?
"You can't go on like this, Steven, we can't…"
As if his body moved automatically, he headed for the nearest mirror, the one where you had sought him out for help. His hands stopped on the edge of the sink, and he stared fixedly at himself in the mirror.
Tears flowed freely, seeking to heal a wound the size of his chest.
"I hate you," he whispered with a voice shattered, Marc looked back at him trying to maintain his composure. The pain of a broken heart combined with his constant battle with pride; he would never admit that he might be wrong. "You ruined it, Marc, you ruined everything."
"I did? I ruined everything?" Marc's ironic laughter made his blood boil. "I told you a damn million times, Steven!" The screams made him startle, but he was determined to hide his weakness. He was finally ready to face him. "I told you to stay away from her; was it fair to snatch away the one thing I have?"
Steven's fist went straight to the mirror. He didn't break it, but he shattered the reflection of Marc into many small pieces, and his knuckles were bleeding in a matter of seconds.
"My life is made to support yours." When Steven's fixed gaze met his, Marc had time to question how they had come to this after supposedly fixing things. Was this also his entire fault? "And I understood it, I swear to God I did." Sometimes he had to pause to sniff through his nose. "All I've done is give everything for you, and you took away everything I had."
There was only silence from the other side of the mirror.
"You took her away from me, Marc." His voice gradually lowered; suddenly, he reverted to the old Steven, with a broken heart and his guard down. The one that made him think so much of his younger brother. "What do I have in life if it's not her?"
More silence. Of course, Steven was in the same predicament as him, clinging to something that brought them happiness.
The difference was that for him, it wasn't exactly Layla.
"We were happy with Layla." His broken voice was barely perceptible.
"You were happy." He looked at his fingers, as the blood continued to run through them. "You were happy with stability, happy hiding from problems with stupid adventures that make you forget how bad your life is outside of there."
The amount of resentment in his voice was terrifying. Painful.
"You were happy pretending to be someone you're not." He closed his eyes, letting the tears flow freely. "You were happy pretending I didn't exist."
"S-Steven, I, I, don't…"
There was no more conversation at that moment. Not for the rest of the day. Or the night. Marc was a silent witness to how Steven cried until his throat was raw, how his entire body trembled, and how an nauseating knot formed in his stomach, paralyzing all his muscles.
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The next day was a nightmare worse than the previous one. For the first time in a long while, Steven was able to sleep the hours that a normal human needed to function, but the problem was that, of course, these hours had been filled with nightmares and dreams where only you were present. Waking up to the reality where everything was worse was an emotional burden that filled his eyes with tears in the first minutes of regaining consciousness.
Well, he had to start trying. He picked up his phone, the one you always teased him about because it was the oldest phone you had ever seen.
First call, first voicemail.
"Love? Could you answer the calls? I really need to talk to you, I'm so sorry for the things Marc said yesterday."
Second call, second voicemail.
"I'm so sorry, really, please, please answer, okay? I need you."
Third call, third voicemail.
"It was never my intention to hurt you," and yes, for a change, Steven was taking responsibility for Marc's mistakes. "And I know it wasn't his either, he's just… damaged and scared. Please, love, please, let's talk."
Fourth call, fourth voicemail.
"We can't throw away all our plans, love." He didn't fear that you could hear his sobs or the way he struggled for breath between sentences. "I want to be with you. I want to be with you until the last day of my life, please, please."
The fifth call didn't go through. It seemed like you had turned off your phone. Fifth voicemail.
"I know you don't want to see me right now." He had to clear his throat before speaking again. "I just want to talk to you. It's all I'm asking for, it doesn't have to be now, just give me a sign that I can come closer, I'm begging you."
He didn't give up. If it were up to his anxiety, his love, or his fear of abandonment, he would have called you a total of 20 times per hour. But he knew you wanted and needed space. All that was left was to pray that you would hear his messages and give him the slightest sign of life.
In the end, he returned to bed, laying face down, and closed his eyes for just a few seconds.
"Steven?"
"What?"
"The body."
"Huh?"
"Give me the body."
"What do you mean…?"
"I need to go talk to Layla."
"You must be kidding." Steven barely lifted his head to see the mirror resting on one of the furniture next to his bed.
The one he never touched because it had a lipstick mark from you in one corner. A perfectly formed kiss. There was Marc.
"Tell me you're joking."
"Give me the body or I will take it from you."
Steven had no strength to fight, he relented and hoped for a little peace in the darkness of his mind.
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That afternoon, Marc apologized tirelessly, and yes, he preferred a million times to falsely accept that he had had an affair than to confess Steven's existence.
"Forgive me, okay? I made a mistake." His hands cradled Layla's face between them. Of course, he had made a mistake, although he didn't specify what kind.
"You're an idiot, Marc." And he couldn't help but think that yes, indeed, he was. There weren't many more words exchanged between them, but unfortunately, this relationship was an imbalanced scale.
It was about two people who simply didn't know how to deal with their emotions, didn't know how to communicate with each other, and undoubtedly had never dealt with their emotional baggage separately to understand that they needed to work to become better.
He couldn't help but notice the parallel. He doesn't remember the romantic part of your relationship with Steven because Steven himself took great care to hide it perfectly, but Marc is aware of every aspect of what your friendship was.
He remembers every argument, if they could even be called that. You two never raised your voices, never.
And you, as the apparent best friend, knew Marc's story inside out, you were never one to raise your voice, but you were always careful not to trigger a bad memory in Steven.
On his part, Steven was incredible at listening. He listened attentively, didn't interrupt, and when you finished talking, he would explain his perspective. You didn't always reach an agreement, that was obvious, but you always knew that you both were much more important to each other than any silly disagreement.
Marc thought about how he would have liked to be as honest as Steven was when Layla's lips were on him. When his way of clarifying things was to have the grossest sex of both their lives.
Usually, the best part of spending these kinds of nights with her was that it meant a mental break with you in exactly two days. Although Steven never understood why you refused to see him the next day, Marc always knew why you felt disgusted. In fact, he understood perfectly, but he never had the courage to tell you that he was sorry.
Thinking that not only were you in love with Steven but that you were also a couple fueled his self-disgust even more.
"I love you, Marc." That was the last thing he heard before leaving his wife's house, which at every moment felt more like a stranger to him.
He didn't respond, and like everyone else around him, she settled for it because everyone always accommodates themselves to Marc Spector's wishes.
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Each passing hour, you were crumbling in a worse way. Probably "dead inside" was one of the best ways to describe your current state.
The stages of grief were starting to attack you, very slowly, but you didn't want to be rational because calling it "grief" would mean that you had lost Steven forever.
And you had, but you didn't want to think about that. After all, you were still in the first stage, denial.
It took you a few hours to decide to listen to his voicemails.
"My baby." You whispered to yourself as your arms clung to one of the many garments you had stolen from him. His navy blue sweater that was too long on the sleeves.
You felt ridiculous.
You sobbed forcefully, your cheek had been tingling for a while from the warmth and moisture of your tears on the pillow. Did the breakup hurt? Of course, it hurt to the core, but after hearing his broken voice on the other end of the line, what was probably hurting you the most was knowing that Steven was suffering.
It felt like they were being forcibly torn apart, although it had felt that way from the moment their relationship began. The rope had been tightening around each of you, pulling you apart at the cost of permanently hurting them.
You were sure you would never love anyone the way you loved and still love Steven. Steven would rather vanish than even imagine a life with someone else.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." You whispered as the fabric of his sweater covered part of your face, with the sole purpose of sniffing and recapturing a bit of his scent. The garment had been in your possession for so long that you could barely perceive Steven in it anymore.
You apologized for not being more discreet, for, in your opinion, ruining your perfect relationship, maybe for not knowing how to keep your distance when there was still time. You apologized for being so deeply in love that you felt like you couldn't live without him, for choosing to look out for yourself instead of running into his arms, and for any inconveniences you might have caused Marc one day.
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Steven and you were on autopilot. Barely eating, barely breathing, barely existing.
You somehow managed to get up and shower after receiving the call from the pet adoption center confirming that the form you and Steven had filled out had been approved, and now you just had to go for 3 days, 2 hours to visit your future pet.
A part of you momentarily thought about ignoring the call, you were so broken that the mere thought of that visit together ended up squeezing your heart painfully, not to mention that the whole plan from the beginning was for the cat to belong to both of you.
Your rational side was always stronger than you, you couldn't leave the little one without a home. Besides, maybe you needed the company.
Perhaps he would do you good, and you would do everything possible to do right by him.
Needless to say, on the first day of bonding, you cried until your lungs hurt, with the little kitten in your arms. He was so affectionate, providing excellent comfort, but you didn't stop crying for a single moment during the 2 hours.
Then you cried more on the way back home because you had to say goodbye to him.
On the second day, you only cried half of the visit because when the cat started playing in front of you, it drew a small laugh from you for the way he twirled around.
On the last day, you found him waiting for you, ready to settle on your lap. It was as if he understood that you were exhausted, and his purring felt like receiving a hug. You were a perfect match.
Meanwhile, Marc was living days that were going from bad to worse. Steven refused to speak to him more than necessary, but everything hurt twice as much when the breakdowns started coming back. As he took another sip of his whiskey, he realized that this time he had nowhere to go, that he would probably never hear you say "I'm here" again to keep him sane, that your arms wouldn't surround him, and you wouldn't leave him a space in your bed that was a million times more comfortable than his. Accepting that he missed you churned his stomach. Because, of course, it wasn't the first time he had thought of you since you left, but it was the first time he lowered his guard enough to digest that all of this was his fault. That he had hurt you in a permanent way while you had only given him peace whenever you could. Steven understood that both of them were fucked up when he finally saw Marc cry. When Marc finally cracked.
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Steven almost had a heart attack when he received a message from you. There was no text, just a photo of the kitten he recognized perfectly.
He wasn't aware of the smile that appeared on his face. One, he could see that the background of the photo was your apartment, which meant the kitten was already with you. Two, perhaps this meant that not everything was lost.
"Can I come see him?" He was biting his nails while waiting for your response. "Sure."
Steven left his apartment so quickly that his curls were still damp from the shower he took in a matter of seconds. He didn't care about being on the most crowded bus if it meant getting to your apartment faster.
Exactly 22 minutes after your message, he was standing at your door.
The smile on his face vanished when you opened the door. Both of you looked like a mess, in pain, and by this point, you had accepted that your eyes would be swollen and irritated for the rest of your days.
You didn't approach him for a hug like he thought would happen. You also took a few seconds to analyze him from head to toe.
He was as beautiful as ever. His messy curls made him look even more adorable. A meow echoed behind you, snapping you back to the present.
"Do you want to come in?"
"Please."
Everything was so… awkward. You stepped aside to let him in and closed the door behind him.
"Sekhmet?"
"Yes."
"I told you that's the name of a goddess, not a god," he said as he crouched down to pet the kitten, who seemed to recognize Steven. The little one rubbed against him, purring loudly, audible to both of you.
"And I told you I didn't care."
A nostalgic laugh escaped both of you. Why was all of this so difficult?
"Hello, Sekhmet." His pronunciation was perfect. You couldn't believe you had the love of your life in front of you after everything that happened.
And worse, you couldn't believe you were about to let him go, for the second time.
"He likes you." You whispered, watching them get to know each other with a lump in your throat. This was nothing like what you had imagined at first; this wasn't how things were supposed to go.
Everything was wrong.
"Steven?"
"Yes, love?" It rolled so casually off his tongue. You didn't remember Steven calling you by your name much, it was always "love" or "lovey" for him, and you were content with that.
This time, you felt a pang in your heart when he used the nickname.
"We have to do this." Your voice broke, and when he noticed your teary eyes, he understood the purpose of the visit. There was no way out of this.
"No, please." He looked up at you from the floor, still on his knees because the kitten refused to leave him. "Please, don't do this."
He broke down quickly too.
"I love you, Steven." Your hand went to his chin, holding him in a way that he couldn't look away from you. "And because I love you, it's only fair that we do this, you and I. Okay?"
He kept denying and denying. Ignoring the insistent meows, he stood up. Now you were the one who had to look up due to the difference in height.
Your heart rate increased with the closeness between you two.
"I don't want to say goodbye." The lump in his throat could be heard in his voice. "I don't want to be alone. I can't do it without you." You couldn't bear to tell him otherwise when you knew you were in the same position.
You stood on tiptoes and, without letting him continue, kissed his lips.
Even his kisses tasted like pain. They were desperate, almost violent in the way he clung to your waist and you to his neck.
You remained like that for a few minutes, tasting each other's tears on your lips until your lungs gave up. It felt like an eternity during which you exchanged kisses and embraced each other between sobs. It genuinely felt like you were tearing a part of yourselves away.
An eternity was not enough for either of you.
"Steven." Your hands on his chest pulled him away just a few centimeters from you to face him. His forehead rested against yours while he hiccuped from crying.
He was your little one. He always had been. Your sweet, sweet Steven. He deserved more than everything life was giving him, and in some way, you and Marc knew it.
"You have to go, okay?" He didn't respond, you just felt his fingers tighten their grip on your waist. "You will be fine, I know you will be." Your fingers roamed through his curls, messing them up even more, and you enjoyed their softness one last time.
"I won't be able to. L-Lovey, I w-won't…"
"Shhh. You will be able to, okay?" The tip of your nose gently brushed against his in an affectionate and intimate gesture. "You will get through this, and you will have the beautiful life that I've always known you deserve."
"I don't want it if it's not with you." His fingers crumpled your clothes from the force of holding onto you.
You lowered your hands to his and slowly made him let go, he shook his head again.
"You have to do this for Marc, okay?" You swallowed hard when his hands finally relented and let go of your waist. "And maybe, if it's meant to be, fate will let us know in the future. Okay?"
Bullshit.
You wanted to be with him now, and he wanted to be with you now, but you were grasping at every possible resource to try to make him understand.
"I need to be alone, okay?" You knew he wouldn't leave unless you hinted that you were uncomfortable with the situation.
Always so respectful, he took a step back and nodded, even though his hands were trembling. He didn't say anything, just looked at you as he stepped back again.
"I love you," you whispered, wiping your tears with the back of your hand.
"I love you." It was the only thing he could say. He was about to leave when his legs gave an awkward twitch.
Marc.
Steven looked down, frowning slightly at the momentary loss of control over his body. If Marc was going to object, now was the perfect time because Steven knew he was the only one who could fix this.
His stubbornness was the only obstacle preventing you from being happy.
And yes, Marc wanted to talk. But when he saw you, he knew he would never find the words to fix what he did.
His fear of change hit him again. Why was he regretting this when apparently this was what he wanted from the beginning?
He parted his lips and tried to say something that never came out of his throat. He gave up in seconds and basically fled your apartment, closing the probably happiest chapter of his life in a long time.
787 notes · View notes
vulpixisananimal · 6 months
Text
"So about yesterday"
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"I'm scared."
(It felt like pulling teeth trying to get those words out. You didn't want to, but you did. You need to be open with them, but you don't want to. But you do.)
"... I'm sorry."
(There's a pause. There's always a pause. Like you're still in a play. Why did you say that? Why didn't you say it sooner?)
(Were they mad? Freaked out?)
"Sif...?"
(You look up. Isabeau was holding out a hand. Oh, looking down you didn't Even realize you were gripping your cloak with a death grip. You pry a hand off it and take Isa's)
"Pleasedontbemad..."
"Mad? Sif! I'm prouda you!"
(Isabeau was beaming at you.)
"Last time you opened up to us it took nearly ending the world! This is a big improvement!!"
(... You're starting to giggle.)
(And cry.)
(Wuh oh.)
"!!" (Isa jumped to your side.) "Did I say something wrong???"
(You shook your head.)
"I think they're just a bit shaken up, right Sif?" (Mirabelle got up to your side as well. You nod, and take a breath.)
"You guys, don't think I'm crazy or anything?"
"There's someone I know in Bambouche like that, it's nothin' to be scared of." (Nille was giving you a comforting smile. You barely even knew each other and she was being so nice?) "What was it they called it?"
"A Dissociative Identity."
(You look up at Odile, she was smiling too. Did she know something?)
"With what you've been through, and how You've been acting, I thought to look into possible reasons myself. A dissociative identity is someone who, in essence, has multiple personalities in one body. Each with their own memories, self, etc."
(... That sounds like us.)
(It DOES sound like us.)
(You wipe your nose on your arm.)
"Eewww Siffrin!!" (Mirabelle made a face, you laugh, Isabeau hands you a tissue.)
"That.. that sounds about right." (It was you.)
"How long ago did this start?" (Asked Isa.)
(You hide your face in your cloak, expecting the reaction) "... About a month, month and a half ago."
"Siffrin!!!"
"Ah Gems.."
"around when we first met then?" (Asked Nille.) "I thought you were just Like That."
(You snort and laugh.)
(Your family was... Being so nice to you.)
(Nice to us.)
"Yeah it was around there. I think. First one showed up when we made it to Bambouche, second right before we left?"
"Sooooo when can we meet em?" (Isa said excitedly.)
"I bet we already have, big guy." (Nille replied.)
"Hah! Yeah I guess so! Who are they?"
(Well...)
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"And, well, you know me. So that makes three."
"Ha!! Guess we get to talk to loop again after all!!" (Isa cheered.)
(. . .)
"Hmmm, Mal Du Pays. I do hope it's comfortable here." (Odile said thoughtfully)
(. . .)
". . . You really don't think I'm weird?"
"Nope!"
"Of course not!!"
"Nah, nothing weird at all."
"I don't think you could get weirder."
"M'dame!!!"
(You all laugh. They all really were fine with it then...)
(Nille leaned back in her chair.) "Ah Crabs, we shoulda gotten Bonnie in for this conversation."
(You wince.) "I could, explain it again to them. Or one of you could..."
(Nille was smiling cheekily at you. Why was she smiling?)
(Wait, she was looking behind you, so was Odile. You turn around.)
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(Oh.)
"Heyfrin."
(Oh stars, please don't be mad.)
(Bonnie stormed over to you. They looked really angry, were they listening in the whole time? You were going to tell them too!)
(They looked you up and down, scowled at you.)
(And gave you a big hug.)
"Stupidface." (you could feel the tension leaving the room, even if you winced a little.) "I was worried about your crabbin face all day you big stupid face!"
"Language." (Nille chimed in.)
"YOU'RE language."
(Everyone laughed a bit. You take a breath. Oh Stars the kid wasn't actually angry.)
"Sorry, Bonnie, I was, hoping you'd be around for that talk."
"Heh, I heard every word, stupid." (Bonnie was looking up at you grinning.) "Big stupid."
"Takes one to know one Bonbon!" (Nille joked.) "And shouldn't you be in bed?"
"No way!! Someone's gotta make dinner around here!!"
"And that someone won't be you after that little tussle-"
(Ggrrrrowwewwllll)
"... Who's stomach was that."
"Not mine."
"Nor mine."
(Bonnie squinted at their sister) ".... Nille?"
"Doesn't change my point!" (She replied. Guilty.)
"HA!! I knew you'd be hungry!! C'mon let's go make some food!!!"
(Bonnie was dragging Nille out of the room now, probably to help make something for supper. You breathe in, and out.)
"... That went well." (Said Odile, getting up and walking over to you.) "Siffrin, if ever you want to learn more about this disorder, I'll help you look into it."
(You nod sheepishly, getting up as well.)
"We're here to support you Siffrin!" (Mirabelle was beaming at you like nothing had changed) "If something happens then you can always tell us, ok?"
"I'll try-"
"WAIT!!!" (Isabeau's expression dropped as he realized something). "Have, have I been making them super uncomfortable at all with our, y'know, our thing-"
"That's what you're worried about? Gems, Isa."
(You hide your face in your cloak.)
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jeonscatalyst · 14 days
Note
https://x.com/inkedjkk/status/1831670685305114941?t=JUfQ9UQXLYowW2zfP1KgUA&s=19
Mind you this is some 9k+ followers acct
https://x.com/pinkorangesun/status/1831647803803902094?t=Gl9Z92VsCpcCa5GBQKJdOw&s=19
https://x.com/jikookreports/status/1831664356150386976?t=bWMuICdCMpkc3t7MGBTZng&s=19
I actually don't wish to be like a Tkkrs even on my worst enemy cause the guarantee of you ever turning to a normal human is 0 % there.
You know why I would never take these people seriously? They don’t even believe the things they say. They have spent years calling us jokers, laughing at us for believing in what we believe in and thinking we are gullible and stupid for letting the “company narrative” cloud our judgement of reality but look at the things they do. Why on earth would anyone feel the need to intentionally manipulate sub titles just to make it seem like Jk didn’t want to be there unless they are mighty insecure? I swear I wouldn’t feel the need to do any of these unless I am seriously worried that Jk might have been there because he actually wanted to be and I need to convince myself and my minions that he didn’t want to so we can feel better.
The funniest thing is, taekookers will have a much easier time if they just accepted that Jimin and Jungkook are friends who love each other. Because even if you really believe taekook is real why do you need to try to hard to invalidate the friendship of Jungkook and one of the members he’s known for over a decade? Friends can travel and do shows together can’t they? We know that Jungkook has been on multiple private trips with his friends outside of BTS, they’ve been around each other so much in chapter so why can’t they continue believing in their ship and just regard Jimin as one of Jk’s other friends? Unless they can’t do this because there is a part of them that sees exactly what we see and that frightens them. I have recieved asks from people sending me what some of the taekook blogs on here are saying and it is beyond ridiculous.
Imagine claiming that Jk was on his phone alot because Tae wasn’t in this episode like we didn’t all watch Tae spend 3/4 of his time in episode 4 and 5 on his phone when Jk was seated right next to him. So by their logic Tae has another lover who kept distracting him right? Plus Jk was actually on his phone in the episodes in Jeju too but it wasn’t as noticeable because there were two other people we could pay attention to while he was a bit distracted on his phone but when have taekookers ever cared for logic?
Imagine them also saying that Jk looked like he didn’t want to be there with Jimin in Sapporo Lmaoo. I think these people are forgetting that the trip in NY was the only one Jimin himself suggested. The trips to Jeju and Sapporo were BOTH Jimin and Jungkook’s ideas and from the look of things Jungkook might have been the one who suggested they go to Sapporo together, I mean he said this….
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They also seem to forget that Jungkook is the one who spoke about wanting to do this till they are 50 and from the look of things he wasn’t joking because after NY, they went on to shoot in 2 other locations and might have done more if they had more time. Untop of that Jk basically spent this entire episode saying this….
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I know they have never been good at listening to Jk but isn’t it common sense to know that if someone really doesn’t enjoy doing something they wouldn’t wanna do it again? Plus this whole travel show wasn’t an idea that came from the company (because I jusy know they would throw in the contract bullshit) this whole thing was only possible because Jimin and Jungkook wanted it to be. Jimin pitched the idea to the company with Jungkook’s approval and they made it happen so if Jungkook didn’t want it in the first place, even the NY trip wouldn’t have happened and that’s a fact.
They can go on crying about how Jk didn’t wanna be there even though we know he was the one who wanted to go back, or talk about how Jimin and Jungkook have no chemistry (we all saw the great chemistry taekook had in the jeju episodes with Tae being more interested in his phone and bed than anything else while Jungkook kept talking and interacting with Jimin mostly) but at the end of the day, when they look at this picture they know Jk was happy af to be there and only wanted to go back with the same person he was there with in 2017……
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So let the haters cry. Let them gaslight themselves the way Jungkook was trying to gaslight himself about not liking the spicy braised chicken in Jeju lol. Let them continue convincing themselves that Jk had an awful time and only did it because he was contractually bound to while they have to wake up seeing this big smiles on his face while he is having a kdrama moment in the snow with his Jiminie hyung😌
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PS: Notice how Jungkook said he normally doesn’t like walking? But we know that the longest walk he has had in his life was in Japan with Jimin where they even had to walk slowly because Jimin’s feet hurt and here he is in Sapporo again walking with Jimin because he doesn’t mind walking in the snow with his Jiminie hyung🥰
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sashasmenu · 3 months
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I know this isn’t usually what I post, but there's something I really want to share.
My account is currently a pro-ed recovery account, but it hasn't always been this way. I used to run a th1n$p0 account with over 700 followers, posting 'dieting tricks' that were actually bogus, because I was also stuck in a binge-purge cycle. I posted pictures of emaciated women in beautiful clothing, and watched as dozens of people commented and messaged me, asking for more. I thought I wasn’t hurting anyone, but deep down I knew I was. I was hurting everyone who saw the pictures I posted, and I was hurting myself by posting them.
Every day I got skinnier and sadder, yet I posted about how happy and perfect my life was. I spent hours on this app because I had pushed away everyone in my life; the only real connection I felt was in these comments and messages from my ana buddies. Despite feeling low every day, I would open this app and feel a little better.
One night a few months ago, I was lying in bed crying myself to sleep because I was so hungry it hurt. I opened the app to try to take my mind off it and went through my messages. The first one I opened said, "I love your spø, I used what you posted last night to not eat all day." For some reason, this message shook me to my core. It was similar to messages I received multiple times a day, but the thought of another girl lying in bed and crying herself to sleep because she was so hungry made me feel sick. Knowing I helped this girl starve herself, making her feel as miserable as I did, was awful beyond words.
The next day, I deleted my account. Over the next few weeks, I felt like absolute shit. I deleted Tumblr off my phone and erased every spø pic from my devices. I kept wondering how many people had seen what I posted and used it to skip meals. I started to fear I had inadvertently led someone into a death trap of restriction. In an attempt to make penance, I initially starved myself, thinking I deserved to feel that way too.
Eventually, I realized that hurting myself wasn't helping anyone. Even though I still struggle with my relationship with food, I decided to post pro-recovery content. If even one person sees my content and feels a little better, then it will all be worth it.
I want to emphasize that pro-ana accounts are not run by bad people out to hurt others. These accounts are run by struggling individuals, and it's important not to judge yourself based on what they say.
Sorry for the rant ❤️, just wanted to get that off of my chest.
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neos127 · 5 months
Text
WHY HER? — SIM JAEYUN (chapter eighteen)
pairing. idol!jake x fem!fan!reader synopsis. in the most cliche way, jake falls for a fan of his. y/n just has to decide if she’s able to handle being apart of his life. notes. last chap…
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Y/N was sweating from nerves. Jake was about to arrive at any moment and she felt sick. The feeling reminded her of when the two first started hanging out, which brought a small slice of comfort.
Y/N was sure that she readjusted her outfit and seating position multiple times before she heard the click of the front door opening. Jake walked in with a small backpack slung around his arm, but it was immediately dropped to the floor when he saw Y/N sitting at the kitchen island. The two stared at each other for what felt like hours, before Jake finally broke the silence.
“You came back.” He stated, his voice cracking slightly. Jake didn’t want to become emotional in front of her again, but the boy felt as if he could cry from how happy he was. Y/N nodded, hesitantly walking up to him with the flowers.
“Happy birthday.” Y/N spoke up, mentally preparing to give the long speech she had planned out in her head. But before the younger girl could open her mouth, Jake brought her into a hug, making the flowers fall to the floor. He gripped her closely, as if she would disappear if he let go.
“I’m so sorry, Jake.” Y/N mumbled, feeling tears fall down her face and onto Jake’s jacket. The boy shushed her, patting the top of her head in reassurance. He knew that Y/N probably felt guilty, but he had never expected her to mend their relationship in person.
“I know you might still be upset, and I’m so sorry for that. I never wanted to hurt you, I was just being stupid. I was only thinking about myself and that wasn’t fair.” Y/N explained, already forgetting her speech and just letting her heart speak for itself.
“I don’t think I ever stopped loving you, and not being in your arms like this for months was really hard.” She continued, her voice wavering as more tears fell. Jake pulled away with a surprised look.
“You love me?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he wiped Y/N’s tears away.
“I do, I really do and I’m sorry I never got to tell you. I should’ve said it back and then we could’ve figured something out but—” Jake cut off Y/N’s rambling, shushing her quietly.
“I know how you were treated, Y/N/N. I don’t blame you for leaving, and if you want to do that again then be my guest. I’m just glad I get to see you right now.” Jake explained, looking at you with sad eyes. He was way too considerate for his own good and it made Y/N’s heart beat ten times faster.
“I don’t think I can ever walk out on you again. Meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I won’t take that for granted again.” Y/N said to Jake, reaching up to push stray hairs away from his face. The boy couldn’t help but smile at the contact, missing her touch more than anything.
“So then…I can be your boyfriend again?” Jake asked, looking at the girl with hopeful eyes. Y/N nodded excitedly, giggling when Jake’s smile widened. He leaned down to kiss her, savoring the feeling of her lips against his after months of being apart.
Y/N pulled away slightly when she felt tears fall against her face. She wiped under Jake’s eyes with her sleeve before leaving a kiss on his nose. The boy couldn’t help but let a few tears slip, feeling overjoyed at the thought of Y/N being his again. He hadn’t been himself for a while, to the point where everyone around him noticed. But seeing the love of his life waiting for him in his dorm after being apart for a while made every emotion he had come crashing down.
“Please don’t cry, you’re gonna make me cry too.” Y/N groaned, making Jake giggle and pull her back into his arms. The two stood there for a while, slowly rocking back and forth while holding onto each other as if they never would again.
“We’re going to be okay, Y/N. We’ll figure everything out.” Jake spoke after a while, still holding Y/N close and stroking her hair. The girl nodded against his shoulder before letting out a small sigh.
“I know. But this time i’m willing to do whatever it takes to be with you. Even if I have to withstand more spitting on my shoes.” Y/N replied, a teasing smile on her face.
“I’m sorry you have to go through that, love.” Jake mumbled, moving his hand down to her back to run soothing circles.
“It’s alright. It’s worth it for the most incredible boy I’ve ever met.”
BONUS.
“You didn’t even see the spider-man flowers I got you.” You whined, pointing to the crumbled mess on the ground. Jake gasped, dropping to his knees as he tried to fix the bouquet.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just got so excited. This is really cool by the way, you’re too good to me.” Jake apologized, standing up with the flowers and giving you a sheepish smile. You let out a small laugh, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
“You’re lucky I love you, Sim Jaeyun.”
“Do you mind saying that again…and maybe fifty more times? I don’t think I heard you correctly.”
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A/N. and that is it for ‘why her?’!! i’m so sorry if this chapter seems rushed i honestly just rlly wanted to finish it and get it out there. i hope you guys enjoyed and im rlly thankful for everyone who’s been following along! i love reading your comments it makes my day <3
previous | masterlist | the end :)
taglist. @junityy @super-amberlynn @jvjsssnaa @dreamiesformula @deepdeancloudspy @syazzzlisa @nnana2 @hkkbrosdienagge @iheartjayke @chappellraon @yelshin @yunville @4xiaojun @ramenoil @desistay @mandoscyare @nikiswifereal27 @mitchii @eternallyhyucks @bgomtori @woninluv @theyluvfrankocean @iilwji @herebyaccident0 @geombyu @vixensss @oldjws @moon4moony @kimsunoops @sainthoma @rosas-in-the-garden @shiikan0iin @skz8love @lycxee @chloelr60
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lsgv · 4 months
Text
Prompt #15
“What is it? What’s wrong Sidekick?” Hero rushes to shacking sidekick.
“No-nothing… I-“ sidekick tries to explain, but the sobbing doesn’t let them.
“Come here,” Hero hugs them. “It’s ok, shhh.”
Sidekick lets out muffled cries, they can’t control it.
“It’s ok, it’s ok, don’t worry, everything is fine, you’re all right, you’re safe, shhh, it’s ok, you’re safe here.” Hero reassures, poor kid, something bad must have happened.
“I- I don’t know wha-what to do with myself anymore.” They manage to say, shackling. “I don’t-I didn’t know where to go get help, Hero! You’re my-my only hope, Hero, I feel like I’m dying inside. Please, please help me!” Sidekick cries.
Hero is shocked, they had alway thought that Sidekick was alright, how could they miss this?!
“Hey, it’s ok, I’m here, I’ll help you. Don’t worry, I’ll always be here for you, ok?”
Sidekick only nods and hugs Hero tighter.
“I’ll make some tea, just sit in the couch, feel like home.”
“Th-thanks” Sidekick answers sniffing.
“I’ll be right back.”
Hero prepares both tea cups and returns to Sidekick after it.
“Careful, it’s hot. “ Hero hands Sidekick their cup.
“Thanks”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“About what?” Sidekick takes a sip of their tea.
“About why you came here in the middle of the night crying?”
“Oh, that… umm, I had an argument with my mom.” Sidekick says embarrassed.
“Oh, what happened? Was it that bad really?”
“Well, umm… I-I-she hit me with a pan multiple times and then gave me a speech on why I’m a failure and why I can’t be more like my brother and all of that… but umm… I also didn’t come immediately here, I, umm, I was kinda sucidal and cut the veins from my arm, then I realized I’m sort of a hero and couldn’t just die, so I stitched me up -kinda- and now I’m here and I don’t think I plan returning home.”
“What the fuck” Hero murmured. “Are you ok?! Do you need help with your wounds? Why didn’t you start there? I-I’ll go get the first aid kid, do-don’t move.”
“Hero, I’m ok, don’t worry.”
“Too late, you’re getting all patched up.”
Sidekick sighed and took a sip or their tea.
“I’m back, where would you like me to start, in the arm or…?” Hero placed the kit on the coffee table.
“The arm, please.”
“Ok, let me see… Oh my gosh, Sidekick, what the fuck did you do?! This is baaaad.” “Sorry?”
“Don’t be, it’s ok, you’re gonna be fine. Just take a deep breath, I’m going to cut the stitches you made, ok?”
“Ok.” Sidekick took a deep breath and Hero rubbed some alcohol, and that alone hurt a lot. Sidekick grunted.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry. It’s almost over.” That was a lie.
Hero then started cutting the stitches, hurting Sidekick more.
“You know what, bite this down, we don’t want more accidents.” Hero handed a bandage roll to Sidekick.
“Ready?”
Sidekick nodded in agreement. Hero finishes cutting through and cleaned everything to restitch them. Sidekick’s screams were muffled but still awful to hear.
“Ok, done!” Sidekick sighed with relief at those words. “Now, did the pan leave any wound that I can help?”
“I don’t think so, I didn’t feel any blood or anything, maybe just bruises.”
”Do you want me to check?”
“No, it’s ok, thanks.”
“Ok. Come here, I’ll show you your room.”
“Room?! As in my room?”
“Yeah?” Hero was confused.
“Wow! I never had my own room! Awesome!” Sidekick was stunned by that.
“Wait, what?” Hero was shocked, they hoped they misunderstood that.
“Yeah, my siblings and I all slept in the same bed.”
“Oh, I see, well, this is all yours.”
“Really?! Thanks.” Sidekick hugged Hero.
“It’s this one.” Hero opened the door.
“Wow!.” Sidekick was impressed, it was enormous.
“Thanks Hero, really, thanks, thanks, thanks!” Sidekick hugged Hero.
“You’re welcome, Sidekick. There’s clothes in the counter and soap and everything you might need on the bathroom. Do you want dinner?”
“Thanks, but I ate at my house. Really, thanks for all.”
“That’s what friends are for.”
And with that, Hero left Sidekick in their new room.
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girliism · 1 month
Text
i miss nun in training reader and priest in training art :(
i just know patrick would be the little devil in their ears playing with the both of them trying to get them mainly you to just give in.
patrick got caught smoking on school grounds again so they made him be in charge of the confessionals. he hates confessional work. it’s just a bunch of people coming in to whine about drinking alcohol or falling asleep during mass. but you came in today riddled with guilt.
you haven’t stopped thinking about the day art cornered you in the hall. you haven’t stopped thinking about how easily he talked about wanting to defile you. the dark look of lust in his eyes as he stared into yours. you ran away from him before you could hear anymore. calling him perverted and how you’d report him to the sisters. you wouldn’t actually and he knew that. you dreamt of his heavy body against you that night in the same way he described. so disgusted with yourself you forced your friends to shun you for the week and started fasting to cleanse your soul praying multiple times a day.
“forgive me father for i have sinned.” patrick straightens up in his seat at the sound of your girly voice suddenly interested. “speak child. confess to me.”
you feel sick in the stomach at the things you are about to confess.
“um, i fear something has possessed me.” patrick hums. “possessed you in what way child?” patrick encourages you to spill what’s be waving heavy on your soul. “i’ve been having impure thoughts about a boy. and these thoughts they make me feel things like my body heats up and…and” you couldn’t say more. tears well up in your eyes it’s all starting to feel to real.
patrick rolls his eyes wishing you’d just spit it out already but he’s supposed to be playing the no judgement role so he lets you take your time. “take your time, tell me what these thoughts are and where they make you feel things.” patrick taking advantage of the trust you placed in him.
you take a deep breath ready to spill everything. “i think about him doing things to my body, touching places. recently i’ve starting to even think about touching places on his body too. these thoughts they tempt me in my dreams and when i wake up and my underwear is wet. i don’t just dream about them though. these thoughts find me during the day. i’ll space out during lessons and my….down area aches and i have to excuse myself to the rest room. i want it to stop father i really do. i’ve ordered my friends to stop speaking to me i’ve stopped eating i pray whenever i can i read the lords word before i sleep and after i wake but i fear it’s not enough. please father help me.” you were full on crying now.
god this girl needs my help bad. that or an exorcism. patrick clears his throat. “i see well this is quite the dilemma. but i can help you.” snapping your head towards the window in the booth sniffling. “you can? you can help me how?”
“the next time you have these thoughts don’t be so quick to push them away let yourself give into them.” you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “but how can i do that without breaking my vow?” “well the next time you have one of your dreams try and relive that burning ache between your thighs and touch yourself.” your eyes widen at the suggestion.
you knew what masturbastion was and how that was just as much a sin as real sex. “but that’s goes against what the lord says.” patrick laughs shaking his head “oh child, the phoenix can not raise if there are no ashes. sometimes breaking the rules helps us follow them better.” you take in what he says. it kind of started to make sense. “ok father, i’ll try that. thank you.” you exit the booth the ending your confession feeling surprising lighter.
“no, thank you my child.” patrick’s got a evil grin on face. can’t wait to tell art about this.
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wnbnny · 8 months
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happiness looks good on you- lee felix
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summary: you love felix, but he doesn't love you back.
warnings: sad ending, angst!
author's notes: hi everyone<3 this is my first fic, kinda wrote this at like 3am on a whim instead of sleeping but like😭 idk why i made this so sad (is this a sign im depressed or something) but hope u enjoy!! please to comment ur user if u want to be tagged in this or my future posts<3
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"happiness looks good on you."
raging storms and unshed tears.
"happiness looks good on you."
heartbreak and rainy days.
"hurry up lix, we're going to be late," you complained, brow furrowed as you stuck your bottom lip out in a pout.
"if you really want to go to school that early just walk there yourself." felix taunted, knowing you were scared to walk alone. he was your long-term best friend, inseparable since kindergarten 'til today.
the two of you argued and bickered on the way to school, throwing insults at each other. by the time the both of you had gotten to school, you were both given a scolding and told to sit down. you glared at him as you were being scolded while he just snickered.
the audacity of this man, honestly . 
by the time class had finished, you had cooled down, just like felix knew you would. otherwise, he could just stick out his bottom lip while you huffed and pretended to be mad. 
"y/n!" he gasped, clutching at your arm, "areum just looked at me!"
he squealed, like a little kid at the toy shop, over his long time crush.
if only you looked at me in that way.
because i do.
"nah, she probably was just looking at someone else." you lied through your teeth, feeling your heart sink.
"hey, stop being mean!! she clearly looked at me," he pouted.
you sighed.
i've loved you for years and you've never noticed.
"well just confess to her already then."
it was painful watching your own crush and best friend fall for someone else, someone that wasn't you. 
you wished, rather selfishly, that areum would reject him. then you could be the shoulder he would cry on. not her. but honestly, you couldn't bring yourself to hate her. what was to hate? she was pretty, got good marks, and was friendly and easygoing. not to say you yourself weren't pretty, but you just weren't as pretty and hardworking as her. 
and you weren't the one he wanted. 
maybe the pain would end if they just ended up together and you were out of the picture. it was obvious she liked him too. 
"you really think i should? but what if i get rejected..."
you're so blind but i still love you.
"yes, how many times do i have to say this, she likes you. it's obvious." you rolled your eyes.
"should i just confess tomorrow? better late than never..." he trailed off, worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth.
gods you look so cute when you do that.
"yeah. get her some flowers and write her a note."
why were you breaking your own heart? you didn't know why. maybe you just wanted to end your own heartbreak. 
"good luck with that, anyways i need to go to s house for a project." you actually didn't, but you would do anything to just escape from this.
"why~~are you really just going to leave me alone to plan my big confession by myself," he whined.
"sorry lix, but you'll figure it out." ruffling his hair, you walked out the classroom.
you did, in fact, go home. then sat on your bed and cried until you couldn't  physically squeeze any more tears out of you.  so this was what heartbreak felt like. you had known him since the both of you were ten. you had have multiple crushes here and there, but they were just passing, fleeting moments, nothing of importance. until him.
you didn't know when you had first started to like him. maybe it was that time in the library where he was helping the librarian stack books. maybe it was that time in the rain where he danced in it for hours. 
maybe it was one summer day where your world just exploded in colours. 
and now it felt like it was fading back to grey.
the next day, felix came bouncing up to you.
"i got her peonies, do you think she'll like it? i told her to meet me in the garden."
"yeah, she'll definitely like it. i would've too... " you muttered the last part all to yourself, turning away and blinking rapidly as tears threatened to prick your eyes. you offered him a smile of encouragement. 
"good luck."
when lunch came, you watched as the nervous australian carried the peonies and went to the garden.
then you watched as they walked in ten minutes later, smiling bashfully and holding hands like schoolchildren in love. 
because they were.
you went home, not even bothering to call in sick. you just grabbed your bag and went home. you would deal with the consequences later. 
your heart hurt.
you were numb.
you were hollow.
you were crying.
you hated everything.
the next few days were spent at home. you called in sick. felix texted you countless times but you ignored him.
lixie&lt;3
y/nie?
where r u?
she accepted!!!
im so happy>.<
read at 2:03 a.m.
yeah, right. good for you. but what about me?
lixie&lt;3
...hello?
y/n?
can u please respond...
im worried...
what happened???
why didn't you come to school today??
read at 3:46 p.m.
you turned off your phone then turned over and cried again. you hated this. why did you have to fall for him in the first place?
finally, after four days of missed calls, texts, and school, you had to go back. its not like you had a choice anyways. you missed your parents. they lived overseas though, so you lived alone. but you really couldn't continue living like this for the rest of your life, even if you wanted to.
"y/nie!!!" felix exclaimed, running up to you. "why didn't you respond to my texts? are you okay? it's unlike you..."
"im sorry lix, i was just under the weather. im ok." you offered him a tight lipped smile. "congrats by the way." you closed your locker door and rushed off before he could ask you anything more.
"huh? thats unlike her... why is she acting so weird lately?" 
and so you avoided him, as much as you could. you kept your conversations short and brief, not talking to him as much as possible, and even switching seats to sit far away from him. you watched his hurt face the day he walked in and saw you sitting somewhere else, but then cheering up as areum sat next to him. you watched as he laughed and held hands, ate tteokbokki and ramen with her in the cafeteria. that should've been me.
but honestly, it did nothing to fill the felix-sized hole in your heart.
you drifted apart. he barely texted you now, barely said hi to you, barely even saw you in the hallways anymore. 
then exams were finished, and graduation started to roll around. 
you watched as they attended prom and twirled around on the dance floor giggling.
you watched as they broke up on the doorstep of his dorms, watching as felix's face fell when she dumped him for another guy.
you didn't have the heart to tell him i told you so.
so you busied yourself in your exams, earning a scholarship to your dream university. felix tried reaching out to you several times to rekindle your old friendship, but you would always politely decline, preferring to be detached instead of going through more heartbreak.
you still loved him, but the once burning passion had now been reduced to a soft flicker every now and then, sparking ever so slightly whenever you saw him in the corridors. your own felix-shaped hole in your heart hadn't decreased over the years, but your heart became bigger, expanding so that other people could fit in it. the hole would always be there, but at least there was space for healing.
you turned around in the backseat of your friends' car to see the campus you had once called home fading away into the distance and felix along with it.
goodbye, the wind whispered.
"happiness looks good on you, lix. i hope you make the best of it."
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