#i made her 16 in 42 and Jean 19 in 38 so I just had to deal with these consequences lmfao

[kissofpoisontcc]

Doing this cause I’m bored and lovesick

1. A man

2. Mid 30s. So at least 10 years (Yes I’m an old fart lol)

3. Politics

4. Couldn’t stand it and still can’t stand it. I slept through most of class tbh (At my 💫 lovers annoyance 😭)

5. They were alright at best (See above point 🤣)

6. Probably the old in class discussions. No hard assignment to complete AND I got to run my mouth

7. Calculating voter turnover. Uggh mathss 😒

8. They used to every week. It sucked 😭

9. Not at all lollll. He was frequently poked fun at

10. I think he was fairly close to a girl I was friends with. Cheater /j 🤣

11. I used to have them twice a week

12. For 2 years about 3 1/2 years back now (Ugh I HATE remembering I’m getting old)

13. He was quite… unique looking. He was a little bit scruffy. He had a beard sometimes

14. Honestly no. I’m usually into chunkier and more well groomed guys. I still did find him somewhat hot in a weird way

15. His eyes 🥺🥺 Adorable!

16. He had long dark brown hair. He sometimes tied it up

17. Honestly idk

18. He was fit and athletic

19. T-Shirts and jeans mostly

20. I remember he had this hoodie he used to wear and he’d look sooo cute and adorable in it that I just wanted to squeeze him in my arms and cover him with kisses (And yes, I still didn’t know how deep I was for the man yet)

21. This may sound sorta rude but I think he was considered ugly to mid by most people

22. None that I knew about

23. None that I knew about

24. None that I knew about

25. Who they are on the inside

26. Very strict. Annoyingly so

27. No I didn’t. I spent most of class wanting to yeet him out of a window (It’s true love when they p you off and you still adore them /hj)

28. He was the sort who presented himself as loud, aggressive and arrogant. He was really quite insecure deep down tho. He was also caring, hardworking and romantic

29. Usually yes

30. Lol no. He was seen as weird and aggressive. They didn’t know him like I did tho

31. We had a very similar sense of humour. He always made me laugh

32. Make him less aggressive. Like Jesus Harold Christ my man you don’t have to act the big man always

33. We Didn’t Start The Fire (No idea why)

34. I always found him funny. So did my mum

35. This one is interesting. Well at first I had a massive crush on him. Then we became closer as friends and I developed more of a bestie love for him. There was always the lingering romantic love tho which I tried to squish down bc that was my teacher bestie. Both our relationship and my love for him grew even deeper. Took me 2. GODDAMN. YEARS. to accept my deeper love for him

36. When he first hugged me. I wish I could go back to that moment and the few days that followed it

37. Lol no. Spent the first 8 months barely even acknowledging his existence

38. I had before but I hoped that I was over it by then (Spoiler alert: I wasn’t)

39. Yes, most had been tiny schoolgirl crushes. Nothing compared to my love for 💫 now. I did have one deep TC when I was 12 tho. It was my first crush and I was convinced it was real love. I was silly since it was 100% unrequited obvs. I still think of her from time to time

40. Hmmm I knew someone around his age who probably did. I shipped them hard. He never noticed her tho

41. He was single before I left. Not sure about now tho

42. It would bother me if I found out he was tbh. Hands off my man 🔪 /j

43. He didn’t have any last time I spoke to him. It’s my job to be his baby mama /j

44. Yes. He definitely be good at teaching them about life and I’m sure he’d love them to pieces

45. They didn’t last time we spoke

46. Romantic

47. I honestly pray every day that destiny will bring us together. It may sound silly but I’ve never loved anyone before the way I do him and I doubt I’ll ever love this intensely again

48. Yes I would. I’m pretty sure I’d uproot my life to be with him

49. Yes probably (The more important factor is if I don’t run away from him like I stupidly did before)

50. Well they ain’t gone yet 🤣

51. Yesss a lot. He always used to call me things like beautiful and lovely. He also used to compliment my humour and intelligence too (He also used to call me annoying but that neither here nor there 🤣😂)

52. Yes a lot. I can still remember his soft, warm and safe hugs. It felt like hugging a huge teddy bear because he would always relax when hugged

53. Yes I did. He gave me a huge smile and an even bigger hug

54. Yes every other night. Both the nice and romantic and the not nice and horrible

55. We were both in his room together discussing science-y stuff. It had such a warm and safe environment. I got afterglow when waking up

56. Yes quite a lot. Just us reuniting and living out our romantic lives together. I think about us going on dates and kissing and cuddling

57. Hard one but probably our first hug

58. Apart from one I can’t say bc reasons, the time he scolded me for not doing homework

59. “I know you’ll become famous”

60. When I wouldn’t stop making fat jokes about myself

61. Yes but let’s not get into it

62. I don’t think I did no

63. I always tried to get his attention. I always managed it

64. Yes and I listen to it more often than I’d like to admit

65. Yes then sent it off to 🦢. She wasn’t the most approving

66. Yes and it’s cringe

67. No. I’ve to be honest and say I don’t know how to write a song really

68. Right wing ugggh. He should go red 🫤

69. No bc ‘traditional values.’ That man so needs a political transplant

70. Thankfully he was openly pro-choice. Phew he can have a good opinion after all 😅

71. He said cannabis makes people ‘lazy and stupid.’ (Man just needs a good edible)

72. This I didn’t actually know. I can kinda assume tho (But that might make an ASS-out-of-U-and-ME)

73. A cheesy romantic film like 50 First Dates

74. Friday Night Dinner. If he doesn’t laugh then he’s not worth it /hj

75. Taylor Swift or Spandau Ballet

76. Paris, France and put a lock on the Eiffel Tower

77. Valentines Day ofc

78. Super Mario

79. Down to the beach at sunset

80. Go to a restaurant or dancing. I’d love to kiss them in front of everyone

81. Paul Ritter. Both are hotties

82. Ronnie Kray

83. Danny Phantom

84. Toad from Mario

85. A cat. He gives off such catlike vibes

86. A peach. A little bit sour on the outside but a softie inside

87. Sour strawberry laces. He seems like he’d be strawberry flavoured idk

88. Orange juice. Packs a punch but still delicious

89. Harry Potter universe

90. “I really do love you handsome”

91. “Do you still think I’m beautiful?”

92. A wedding ring

93. That hoodie, grey sweatpants and converse shoes

94. 🦢 is the only one who knows. She doesn’t understand it and thinks it’s weird asf

95. Nope and I won’t

96. No because my STUPID ASS couldn’t tell him

97. Yes ily all my TCC sisters and brothers 💕💖

98. Yes it allows me to really explore my feelings for 💫

99. Yesss especially by 💫 himself 😭😭 Imagine him finding out a girl from his past is not only desperately in love with him but also dedicated a blog to him 😭 My heart could never

100. Don’t let it consume your whole life. You’re worthy even if your TC doesn’t really notice you

100 TCC Questions by Drowning-Lotus-TCC

Send an ask with the number which you want to know and I’ll answer you ✨⭐️

(Feel free to reblog 💖 Can I just ask that you leave any identifying information out when answering for you and your TCs safety 💕)

1. Are they a man or a woman?

2. Do you know how old they are? If yes, what’s the age gap?

3. What subject do they teach?

4. Do you like the subject they are teaching?

5. What are your grades like for their subject?

6. What is your favourite assignment they’ve set so far?

7. What is your least favourite assignment they’ve set so far?

8. Do they set homework often?

9. Is your TC generally liked as a teacher by their students?

10. Is your TC close to any other students?

11. How often do you have them for lessons?

12. How long have you been taught by them?

13. What do they look like?

14. Do you typically find people who look like your TC attractive?

15. What is your favourite feature of theirs?

16. What is their hair like? What colour and style is it?

17. What is their eye colour?

18. What would you describe their body type as being?

19. How would you describe their style?

20. Are there any clothes you think they look their best in?

21. Would they be considered by most people to be physically attractive?

22. Do they have any tattoos which you know about?

23. Do they have any piercings which you know about?

24. Do they have any scars which you know about?

25. Which is the most attractive to you, the way they look or who they are inside?

26. What is their teaching style? (Eg. Strict or caring)

27. Do you like their teaching style?

28. How would you describe their personality?

29. Do you usually find people with their personality type attractive?

30. Do other people like your TCs personality?

31. What is their sense of humour like? Do you think they’re funny?

32. If you could change one thing about your TC, what would it be?

33. What’s a song that always makes you think of them?

34. What was your first impression of them?

35. How long did it take you to fall for your TC? Was it instant attraction or did it take you getting close to them to realise you had a crush on them?

36. What happened to make you realise you had a crush on them?

37. When you first met them, could you have ever imagined that your feelings would become so deep?

38. Did you ever think you’d have a crush on a teacher?

39. Have you ever had any TCs before?

40. Do you know anyone else who has a crush on your TC?

41. Do you know their relationship status? Are they married, in a relationship or single?

42. If they’re married or in a relationship, does this bother you?

43. Do they have any children?

44. What do you think they’d be like as a parent?

45. Do they have any pets you know about?

46. Are your feelings for your TC platonic or romantic?

47. How would you describe your feelings for your TC?

48. If you had the chance to marry them tomorrow, would you take it?

49. If they weren’t your teacher and the same age as you, do you think you’d be dating them?

50. Do you think your feelings for them will fade once they’re not your teacher anymore?

51. Have they ever complimented you?

52. Have you ever hugged them?

53. Have you ever given them a gift? If yes, how did they react?

54. Do you ever dream about your TC?

55. What is your favourite dream you’ve had so far regarding your TC?

56. Do you ever daydream about your TC? If yes, what do you daydream about the 2 of you doing together?

57. What is your happiest memory with them?

58. What is your least favourite memory with them?

59. What’s your favourite thing that you’ve heard your TC say?

60. Has your TC ever yelled at you? If yes, why did they yell at you?

61. Has your TC ever made you cry? If yes, what did they do?

62. Have you ever dressed up just to impress your TC?

63. Have you ever done anything to impress your TC? If yes, what did you do? How did your TC react?

64. Have you ever created a TC playlist?

65. Have you ever wrote a secret love note to your TC?

66. Have you ever written a poem about your TC?

67. Have you ever written a song about your TC?

68. If known, is your TC left wing or right wing?

69. If known, does your TC support gay marriage?

70. If known, does your TC support abortion?

71. If known, what does your TC think of cannabis use?

72. If known, what does your TC think of age gap relationships?

73. What is a film you’d love to watch with your TC?

74. What is a TV show you’d love to watch with your TC?

75. What is a band or singer you’d love to listen to with your TC?

76. What is a country you’d love to visit with your TC?

77. What is an event that you’d love to be with your TC for?

78. What is a video game you’d love to play with your TC?

79. If you were going to have a picnic with your TC, where would you like to go for it?

80. If you were going on a date with your TC, what would you like to do with them?

81. What famous person reminds you of your TC?

82. What movie character reminds you of your TC?

83. What cartoon character reminds you of your TC?

84. What game character reminds you of your TC?

85. If your TC was an animal, which one would they be and why?

86. If your TC was a fruit, which one would they be and why?

87. If your TC was a candy, which one would they be and why?

88. If your TC was a drink, which one would they be and why?

89. If your TC was transported to a fictional world, which world do you think would fit them best?

90. If you could say one thing to your TC, what would it be?

91. If you could ask your TC any question, what would you ask them?

92. If you could give any item to your TC, what would it be?

93. If you could choose your TCs outfit for the day, what would you pick for them?

94. Have you told any of your friends how you feel about your TC?

95. Have you told any of your family how you feel about your TC?

96. Does your TC know how you feel about them?

97. Do you enjoy being part of the TCC

98. Do you feel that being part of the TCC has impacted your life? If yes, how so?

99. Are you scared your TCC blog might be discovered?

100. If you could give people in the TCC one piece of advice, what would it be?

[magicmiss]

I needed to do this one after seeing the trend on twt :’))) I love my dorks so much and I know I’ve been way less active because of work and school but i swear I’ll try harder !!

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 86. brb x oc

a/n: I'll be honest I was a bit nervous posting this chapter since it turns...a bit away from the fic? Kind of, I mean it is necessary for GROWTH purposes.

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: Bea fighting her demons and just a tidbit of Rooster :(

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84

85

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes

-

“I don’t know how to feel about hearing ghost children, Bea.”

Beatrice frowned, crossing her arms over her bust as she looked at Michael. He wasn’t able to come when she asked because of work, but he was there on the day of her class reunion, one week after, “Michael, come on.”

“Ghost children are creepy Bea.” 

“As opposed to normal ghosts?” she asks while checking her reflection on the hallway’s mirror, she tried to hide how nervous she was getting. She wished Brad was there, he could go with her and help her out but he wasn’t and she had to deal with this herself “I just need you to stay a few nights, Mike. Please.”

Michael crosses his huge arms over his equally large chest, leaning his shoulder against the wall with a deep frown, “Fine, but I still expect my payment in cannolis.” his sister rolls her eyes, but agrees with a nod to the side, fixing her ponytail and the strands adorning her face. Since it was a bit warm that day, she was wearing one of her summer dresses and had a cardigan with her in case she needed it.

If she could just show up, spend five minutes there just so Lilly Ann saw her and leave, she would. It’d be...intense, she didn’t know how people would react and her nerves were slowly climbing up to the surface in a way that Michael noticed, “You okay?” Beatrice nods, fixing her dress’ short sleeves one more time, then running her hands down the skirt, second guessing if she should show up wearing that.

Her outfits in high school were mainly t-shirts and jeans and the so called mom shorts that stop at the knee. Skirts and dresses were never present, shirts’ collars had to hug her neck and show nothing below it and they were big, making her appear enormous back then. When she picked this outfit she decided she’d wear this because this is who she really was and always had been, she had to break that specific shell of fear from high school Beatrice for both of their sakes, “I’m fine.” she says with her jaw tense and eyes locked on her reflection, not seeing Michael appear on her side with his gaze worried. “I’m fine,Mike.”

“You know when you told us about the shit you went through in high school, I was really upset.” she blinks at him in confusion, “We could’ve helped you, sis. We all could.”

Beatrice smiles softly, shaking her head, “You were all grown adults, already in college and with your own lives. What was I to do? It’d only make everything worse.” she explains, watching her brother’s face fall into a scowl, “Plus you guys were all adults and knowing you, you’d want to punch some people in the face.” 

Michael’s scowl faltered, then turned into a knowing smirk, “I mean, yeah, true.” the siblings laughed together, but her older brother’s eyes still had a worried glaze over them, “...I’m just saying…well…we hated knowing how hurt you were back then. But you got better.” Beatrice’s green eyes meet her brother’s darker green ones, “And you grew so much. We are all really proud of you.”

Beatrice’s cheeks turn red and she nods, then engulfs her older brother in a hug, one he reciprocated, rubbing her upper back, “Thank you,Mikey.” she needed that pep talk, she needed that support before going. She pulls back to pull out her phone from her dress’ pockets, biting her lower lip, “It’s almost two…I better go.” she murmurs, stepping away from Michael to grab the keys hanging on the magnetic shelf and her purse, leaning down to kiss Jolene’s head and squeeze her cheeks in a goodbye, “Call if you need anything, okay? Her snacks are on the laundry room’s third cabinet.”

Michael nods, following his sister out of the door, watching her enter her red Jeep with a smile, “You’ll do great!” he calls once she’s inside, giving her a double thumbs up and a bright grin. Beatrice smiled back, her nerves a mess inside of her body, but she reversed out of the garage and drove away. 

Beatrice’s jaw clenched and relaxed, her eyes moving everywhere around the area as she tried to recall the way to her old school. It’s sad how much she went through basically making her block anything that related to her teenage years, especially where to go and to turn. She sighed, setting the gps to where she wanted to go and frowning knowing there was still about fifteen minutes for her to get there.

She could admire her surroundings, but honestly, she just wanted to get this done with. It’s crazy how one moment you are okay with that happening then on the other you just get freaked out. She could message Rooster, she could, but she didn’t want him to worry. Beatrice inhaled for courage, closing her eyes briefly and rolling her shoulder while gripping the wheel with so much force it looked like it could break at any second.

God she didn’t remember this area having so many palm trees, or a new parking area…but she did see the ‘ball room’ area decorated with balloons and a huge banner that said ‘Welcome back Class of ‘10’ in big bold red letters. Beatrice sighed, turning the jeep to the open gates to the student parking lot that had…a lot of cars. It took her a few seconds to find a parking space, easing out a relieved breath when she found one.

She’s parked next to a silver colored Mini Cooper with decals of cartoon characters on the passenger windows, ah, yeah, most of the classmates probably had kids now. Beatrice purses her lips, looking at her rear view mirror where she could see the gymnasium’s entrance open wide with people chatting on the outside or coming and going and a short woman holding a clipboard. 

Beatrice closed her eyes again, then furrowed her eyebrows, “Okay.” she nods to herself, slinging her purse’s strap on her shoulder and her cardigan folded on her arms, closing the door behind herself. She stood close to her car, her feet refusing to move closer the longer she looked, her flight instinct screaming louder for her to get the hell out of there. But she held her ground, clenching her keys into her palm - feeling the teeth nip at her skin- before she tossed it inside her purse and forced herself to move forward.

She was wearing a wedged sandal that knocked on the gravel as she walked, something she also never wore while in school. It was a lot more comfortable than a high heel shoe and it also made her legs look great, legs that she still wondered if she should show off like that.

If Rooster was around he’d be so supportive of her outfit, compliment her legs - her whole body really- and even tell her she could be ‘late for a few minutes’. Beatrice’s lips curled into a smile, pressing the power button on her phone to unlock the screen, exposing their dancing photo as her background, “I can do this Roos.” she whispers, bringing her phone to her lips so she could kiss his side of the picture, “I can do this.”

The woman holding the clipboard had pitch black dark hair chopped on a bob below her earlobes. Her eyes looked up when Beatrice approached, “Hello I– wait Beatrice? Is that you?” that voice. It was Lilly Ann with a completely different hair color. The two guys talking by the doors immediately stopped and looked to where Beatrice was “Oh my God? You look incredible!”

“Thank you Lilly Ann, you look really good as well.” extremely stressed, her left eye was twitching and her hands were shaky when she turned the clipboard to the brunette so she could write down her name. Beatrice smiles, giving her the pen back, and placing the tag with her name on her chest ”Thank you. I’ll go inside now.” she ignored the two guys on the doors, who looked at her way too much, choosing to pull out her phone to let Michael know she got there safely.

The response her brother gave her was a picture of him and Jolene inside her pool, the pittie had on sunglasses and was giving her a doggy smile. Beatrile chuckled, rolling her eyes and slipping her phone back inside her bag. She didn’t know how the school allowed this event to happen during the afternoon, but then again she couldn’t really hear any voices coming from the inside of the school building itself.

Beatrice finally enters the gymnasium/ballroom hall as the school liked to call during prom time. It was decorated with more balloons, tables and chairs - with a pair of long tables on either side with food and drinks, most of them non alcoholic since this was still the afternoon and it was a school, and people. Lots and lots of people.  She forgot how many classmates she had, she had no idea if they were all here, but she felt a bit overwhelmed upon seeing everyone again. 

She looked around trying to find a place to stay and keep herself distracted, deciding that maybe she could get something to drink since her throat was a bit dry. Her greeting to everyone she passed by was a nod and a smile, nothing more than that, she didn’t want to talk to anyone yet.

Once she reached the corner of the table with the drinks, she took in a deep breath seeing she was finally alone there, ‘Okay.” she mutters, pouring herself some fizzy lemonade inside a cup that was plastic but it was meant to look like glass, “Okay, it’s fine. It's fine.” she murmured, bringing the cup to her lips to take a sip, easing out a breath through her nose. Beatrice looks over her shoulder curiously, seeing everyone was with their old clique from high school - obviously - and her teammates from the volleyball team were…too busy talking to themselves.

Oh she was already regretting this.

She sighs, rubbing her forehead and tapping her nail on the side of her cup, deciding to look up at the decorations instead, or anywhere else really. She was starting to regret coming here even more, biting the corner of her mouth as she wandered about.

“No way, Beatrice? Is that you?”

Well that was going to happen a lot today apparently. She sighs, turning to the person who asked and her face lost all color. Her former middle school best friends who then ditched her in high school? Megan,Susie and Rooney. They haven’t changed much, besides Rooney was now wearing glasses, Megan was a blonde now and Susie cut her hair very short, “Oh my God! Look at you! “

Beatrice couldn’t stop when Megan wrapped her arms around her waist, the brunette just keeping her arms by her sides in surprise, even more when the others joined in too, “God, it has been so long! You look so different!” Beatrice offered them a small smile, awkward on how to reply to these compliments from a group of people she hasn’t spoken to in years.

“Did you lose weight?” she knew that one was coming,”You look so much better.”

“Thank you.” she says curtly, meeting Susie’s eyes, ‘You do too.” 

“Anyway, how have you been? Are you and Eric still together?” The mention of her ex’s name makes Beatrice flinch briefly, until she remembers how she punched him on the nose hours after her birthday.  She also had no idea they knew she dated Eric, because it wasn’t really ‘public’ in the first months - not to mention the three of them stopped talking to her for years.

“No, no I’m no longer with Eric.” she says, “I have someone else now,” someone wonderful, funny, kind, and so handsome it hurts. They looked at her, waiting for her to tell them more, “He’s a naval pilot.” she wasn’t sure if they noticed how weird this whole situation was, how much talking to them made her uncomfortable. Their connection was inexistent now and while she could understand why they’d want to chat - well, partially,- they no longer had anything in common with each other and Beatrice wasn’t feeling like she could tell them more.

“Ohhh, a naval pilot, does he have friends?” Rooney jokes, but Beatrice could see the glint of a wedding ring when she moved her hand. The other woman followed her gaze, then laughed ,”Oh we have an open relationship.”

“Right. Um, I don’t think any of them would be interested.” she didn’t want to come off as rude, but she knew the Dagger squad quite well at this point, “Most of them already have serious relationships.” Well that wasn’t true, but they didn’t have to know that.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Schiavoni herself.”

Beatrice closed her eyes, inhaling deeply when she saw the people who used to be part of Hannah’s clique approaching them but there was no sign of Hannah anywhere with them. They all look…heavily esthetically modified, oh my god. Normally Beatrice wouldn’t care about plastic surgery, if you wanna do it, do it, but they looked…stretched and not at all normal.  She tried to hold back her surprise and at the same time just rolled her eyes when her former friends just stepped back to let them pass, “I couldn’t believe it when I saw you show up.” the one in the middle, Jasmine, said, the skin on her cheeks barely moving- Jesus wasn’t she thirty too? Was that necessary already: - with the other two girls behind her.

Strange that Hannah wasn’t with them, “Yes, well, I thought about showing up.” Beatrice was no longer drinking, so she placed both of her arms behind herself  for no specific reason and that movement pushed her chest forward. It was news to her that she could see how taller she was than those girls and how her chest was fuller as well - she didn’t want to body shame anyone, especially her bullies…but it felt…weirdly good.

Jasmine’s long manicured nails clicked together, “What was it that I heard? That you are dating someone in the military?”

“That’s right.” she says with a small smile.

“Well you know how it works, Schiavoni, proof or it didn’t happen!” the girl on her left, Tania, Tiffany? What was her name again? It had a T on it.

Beatrice just blinked, furrowing her eyebrows, “I’m sorry?” she looks down at Tiff–the one girl she couldn’t remember the name of, who was holding her hand up for her to hand over her phone?? 

“Give it to us Schiavoni, come on.”

That one sentence brought chills up her spine, she heard that so many times when she was younger that her younger self inside her brain immediately panicked and screamed for her to leave. But Beatrice was no longer sixteen years old, she was no longer scared of them, she forgave them but that didn’t mean she couldn’t defend herself, “No.” she scoffs, “Why am I going to give you my phone?”

“Oh they just want to see really quick, Bea,” Megan added and that immediately made Beatrice snap her glare towards the other woman, who faltered and stepped to the side.

“I forgot how shitty you all were.” she snarls, then looks down at the still stretched hand, inhales and prepares herself, “No. This isn’t high school anymore and I’m sorry to say but we’re all grown fucking women. I don’t have to give you anything.” she never raised her voice, which meant no one looked their way since the music was pumping, “And I am not scared of you anymore.” they tried offending her, shocker, but Beatrice scoffs again, “It’s been over ten years. I moved on, why can’t you?”

That made the bully trio, and her old friends, stare at her with wide eyes. The usually meek and shy Beatrice would never do that, “I think you all need to check if all that filler isn’t going up to the brain and–”

“Wait, you are the one at the Marcus Beverly billboard!” a girl she couldn’t remember the name either announces, breaking the heavy atmosphere with her finger pointed at Beatrice. That statement makes others look her way too, “You are! It is you!”

“What’s happening?”

“Who’s where?”

“Beatrice is the face of the new Marcus Beverly collection!” the woman says, pulling out her phone, “Look! It 's her!” soon enough they were crowded, surrounded by people and Beatrice didn’t know what to do. While she was happy they were asking her about it, she felt her body begin to get very overwhelmed, her anxiety was spiking. Being circled by people like this triggered some locked memories from her past, memories of when she’d be in the middle of a circle and made fun of and humiliated.

Interesting how this was the exact opposite from back then. Beatrice tried to calm her breathing, tried to ease her heart, but nothing worked. She could feel her anxiety clogging up her throat, even if there were only smiles she wished it wasn’t like this, she wanted space, she needed space. When there was a break between the crowd, she escaped, rushing to the bathroom and locking herself in one of the cabins.

Beatrice sat on the toilet lid, pressing her cardigan up to her eyes and counting to thirty slowly, smell the flower, blow the candle. She inhaled deeply, her perfume mixed with the chemical cleaners from the bathroom hitting her nose. She wanted to heal, she wanted to be better, she didn’t want this fear to take over her anymore…she lowered the cardigan to her bare thighs, then looked down at her phone to check if she had a message from anyone and she immediately smiled when she saw that Rooster sent her one a few minutes ago, around the time she arrived.

Roos’ (14:13)

It’s pretty late here and I’m going to sleep, but I just wanted to say I miss you, pretty girl. I hope you are having a good day and I hope you know you are always on my mind <3 I love you.

Beatrice’s cheeks flexed with her smile, supporting her chin on her hand as she reread the message over and over. “You are always on my mind too, Roos.” she whispers, sighing softly as her heart calms down. 

‘Beatrice? Are you here?’

That voice…”Hannah?”

Footsteps approach she cabin she’s currently inside, she sees a pair of red pumps appearing below the door and she immediately fears she’s going to throw something over her head, “Are you okay?”

Oh.

“Oh, um,I-I’m fine. I just needed a breather.”

“Yeah,tell me about it.” she laughs from the other side, “Everyone calmed down a bit, if you want to come back out.”

Beatrice blinked, trying to translate her words and check if it was a trap or not, unlatching the door and slowly creaking it open, seeing Hannah’s face appear on the other side, “...thanks.” she muttered, Hannah giving a few steps back so Bea could finally walk out. The two met eyes, Hannah wringing her hands together and Beatrice clenching her cardigan, “So…uh…”

“Yeah…”

Cue very awkward pause.

Until Hannah closes her eyes and parts her mouth, “I…I’m sorry Beatrice.” the brunette snaps her head up in surprise, staring at the strawberry blonde with her eyebrows furrowed, “For everything I did to you.” What followed was complete silence, the muffled 00’s songs pumping outside adding to the background noise. Beatrice didn’t expect this to happen today, “You don’t have to forgive me, hell I wouldn’t forgive me…but I really am sorry. What I did to you…no excuse will be able to explain. There’s no good reason.”

Beatrice clenches her cardigan even tighter, chest expanding in a deep inhale. “...I’ve forgiven you long ago,Hannah.” that made the other woman look up in shock, “You hurt me a lot, well not only you, but…I didn’t want to keep that shit with me, you know? It’s not healthy at all…but I appreciate your apology. Can I ask what made you…change your mind?”

Hannah leans her back against the bathroom’s sink, rubbing her eyes, “When I met you at the dog park last time…it was…I don’t know I remember being so mad at you and I don’t even know why. Then…then you talked to me and just,I guess it opened a whole new world for me.” she pauses, “Thinking back…if nothing had happened I think we could’ve been friends.”

Beatrice finds that hard to believe, “You had your own friends.”

“Who? Jasmine, Tessa,” ah that was the name,”And Caroline? I thought we were friends but…over time they tossed me aside too. I wanted to be better for my son, you know? Wanted him to have good examples especially after the divorce and they didn’t really agree how I was dealing with it.”

Beatrice frowns, crossing her arms with her cardigan tucked on the crook of her elbow, her stomach turning in knots, “I’m sorry. No one should go through that.” she whispers, then frowns, “Why did you hate me?”

Hannah shrugs, “I don’t know. I don’t think anyone can explain why we picked on you so much. Maybe because you were too quiet, or too kind, or too talented, who knows? We fucked up with you a lot and I am very sorry.” she mutters, “I’m very sorry you didn’t deserve that.”

The brunette just stared, opening and closing her mouth, unsure what to reply after that. It’s strange, she thought about this for so long, wondered if she’d ever get closure and then it happens and she…doesn’t know how to react. She just stays there, in complete and utter disbelief this just happened, “I…” she licks her lips, tasting the cherry gloss on her tongue, “...thank you…Hannah. I…I appreciate it.”

“You are welcome.” Hannah whispers back, holding out a nervous hand for her to shake, “You don’t have to but I–” Beatrice clasps it gently, holding it still and squeezing it just enough to show that this chapter was finally closed. “...thank you.” Bea nods, “So uh…that guy with you, was your husband?”

Not yet, “No, no he’s my boyfriend.” she explains, walking alongside Hannah towards the door. She sees the other woman blink, then ‘huh’ quietly, “What?”

“I could swear you two were married, there’s something about you two.” she says with a small smile, “That gives off that vibe.” 

Beatrice’s smile returned, her cheeks turning red, “Well…I’d hope so.” they walk out of the bathroom to be hit with the Macarena at full blast and a group of people dancing in the middle of the dance floor. Weirdly enough, Hannah and Beatrice ended up talking a lot more than either thought.

Hannah was right, they could’ve been friends, they did like a lot of the same things and Beatrice found out that Hannah was an obstetrician! Who would’ve thought? They enjoyed the same type of music, some movies and even certain books. Hanna Dreyfus was a nerd just like Bea was. Meanwhile her old friends just glared over the two…or they were just looking, Beatrice couldn’t tell since she didn’t know if they could change expressions at all. 

“Damn Eric! What happened to your nose?” Beatrice hears someone say, followed by her ex’s grumbled reply. She turns her head just in time to see him and vice versa. They stare at each other for a bit, before Eric’s eyes widen and he slowly backs away from the area “Where are you going, man?? You just got in- Eric! Bro!” 

Beatrice just managed to make her stupid ex run off the event in a matter of minutes, she’s talking to her former bully like actual adults and she was very happy…maybe coming here wasn’t so bad at all. 

[books-andspace]

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs and teacups (i collect them lol)

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate bars

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

bubble gum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

ask my mom lol she’s always been my teacher

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Bottles or glass cups

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Boho, tomboy, and grunge mixed

7. earbuds or headphones?

It depends on my mood but usually earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows

9. favorite smell in the summer?

thunderstorms

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

p.e.? what is that?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

blueberry bagel

12. name of your favorite playlist?

ben barnes and his english literature degree

13. lanyard or key ring?

key rinnggg

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

skittles or lifesaver gummies

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

Hmmmm Johnny Appleseed

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

On the couch, cross legged

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Orange and white striped converse, but actually it’s my blue-grey plaid converse with a little white star cut out of both sides

18. ideal weather?

RAIIINNNNN

19. sleeping position?

on side, one knee bent, the other straight, and arms sprayed out in front of me

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

laptop

21. obsession from childhood?

Finding Nemo

22. role model?

T.M. Daliggr

23. strange habits?

I don’t think I have any but my siblings will probably say otherwise

24. favorite crystal?

Huh?

25. first song you remember hearing?

Woooooaahhhh that’s a hard one. Hmmmmm probably the Math-U-See theme on my math curriculum

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Sit outside and read

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Sit inside with a fire and read

28. five songs to describe you?

Moon - Jonah Kagen

Umbrella - Rihanna, Jay-Z

Alone - Alan Walker

Waterfall - Serena Ryder, Melissa Etheridge

Paper Rings - Taylor Swift

29. best way to bond with you?

Just chill in the same room as me and I feel loved

30. places that you find sacred?

My deck at night, looking at the moon and stars

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Jeans, aforementioned plaid converse, brown t shirt, what i affectionately call my ‘percy jackson/stiles stilinski’ plaid shirt, and my camp american flag ball cap

32. top five favorite vines?

“Marlene your speech was so good!”

“I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggies”

“I still haven’t found my berries, but I found dis”

“Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does”

“Excuse me sir, has this establishment ever been robbed before?”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

I’m just gonna use autocomplete for this, starting with “the”

“The last time i had been in the last two hours and had no clue it was her right to be in a good way.” Ok

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

“Experian. BOOOOOOOOSSSTT”

35. average time you fall asleep?

12-2

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

No sure clue.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

do vintage carpet bags count as duffel?

38. lemonade or tea?

teeaaa

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

lemon cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

the ceiling fell in

41. last person you texted?

my second to oldest sister

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie and bomber

44. favorite scent for soap?

pear

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

jeans and a t-shirt

47. favorite type of cheese?

provolone i guess

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

tomatooooo

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

and one day the girl with the books became the woman writing them

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Most recently, my little sisters dream about Experian Boost Nukes

51. current stresses?

School, and what on earth am I going to do with my life?

52. favorite font?

Typewriter (but since I’m typing this on my computer i can’t use it right now 😞)

53. what is the current state of your hands?

mid, hangnails and torn cuticles, and knuckles constantly scraped

54. what did you learn from your first job?

teamwork, and some leadership skills

55. favorite fairy tale?

beauty and the beast

56. favorite tradition?

my family doesn’t really have any

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

getting mad at my hair so much, 

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

cross stitching, speed reading, somewhat photographic memory (i can picture words and such but not images very well), being the only sibling to have had shingles

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Can we please just all get therapy?”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Something like Violet Evergarden

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“It’s not gone, just lost. And when something is lost, it can be found.” -Sam Drake, Uncharted

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dean Winchester

Cassian Andor

Kingo

Penny Robinson

Peeta Mellark

Hal Mason

Theseus Scamander

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Best Song Ever - One Direction

I Wanna Dance with Somebody - Whitney Houston

We Got the Beat - The Go-Go’s

Happy - Pharrell Williams

Hey Ya! - Outkasts

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Ummmmmmm C.R. Hedgcock’s website

65. any permanent scars?

Some old mosquito bite scars on my legs and arms, and then a chicken pox scar on my right cheek

66. favorite flower(s)?

daisies!

67. good luck charms?

not really any, just my ace ring

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Wine

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

to actually kill a tic, you have to pop it’s head off. if you just flush it, it *will* come back

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

aztec (which is funny cuz i used to be obsessed with it)

72. worst subject?

math

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

all the skittles at once

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

generally a 6-7

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i have no clue lol

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

give me *all* of them

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

i have no clue

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

gas station coffee

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

driver’s license

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

fireflies

82. pc or console?

pc

83. writing or drawing?

writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket?

polly pocket

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies

87. your greatest fear?

being forgotten

88. your greatest wish?

to be happy

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my little sister

90. luckiest mistake?

dunno

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

lamps, and fairy lights (also moonlight)

93. nicknames?

cheesecake

avocado

dof (dear old friend)

Evil Mistress (yeah that one has a good explanation i promise)

94. favorite season?

spring

95. favorite app on your phone?

probably spotify

96. desktop background?

a screenshot from mass effect: andromeda of the hyperion

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

My moms, the house phone, and mine

98. favorite historical era?

40′s & 50′s

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Not-All-Encompassing Character Ranking

Okay, so I have to admit that I omitted a lot of characters I don't have strong opinions on. Most of them were one-off akumas, so don't get your panties in a twist, your faves are probably still on here (and ranked lower than you think).

As a preface again, these are just my personal opinions. They can't hurt you. You can still like characters more or less than me. And I don't care how you feel about them. This list is for me. And the person that asked for it. So shut up. Go make your own rank list if you’re so butthurt. 

We're going in reverse order this time, starting from the bottom:

84. Gabriel Agreste- I mean, is anyone surprised? I am not private about how I think Gabriel should go to jail. Or fall off a cliff. Or be erased from existence. Rip to those that like him, but I’m different.

83. Thomas Astruc- Honestly, he’s down here on principle. Self-inserts are generally a no-no, and I just laugh every time I see him on screen because he really put himself in this show and said boohoo no one appreciates me XD

82. Bob Roth- I feel like this one should also be obvious. He’s just a dick. Terrible human. I give him 0 stars.

81. Tomoe Tsurugi- We all collectively hate her, right? It’s not just me?

80. Su Han- This mans has small peepee energy. And he bad mouthed Fu, so get FUCKED, my dude.

79. Rolland Dupain- Listen, I get it, he liked Marinette in the end, but I could do without the racism.

78. Nathalie Sancoeur- My opinion of Nathalie took a nosedive after the s2 finale. I just do not care that she is in love with her boss. Don’t care that she’s dying. Just do not have it in me.

77. XY- Justin Bieber ass wannabe.

76. Nora Cesiare- I didn’t care for Nora. I know Thomas loves her, but the overbearing sibling trope is tired.

75. Anarka Couffaine- I underestimated how much I don’t really like her. Like, it’s not full-on hate, but I just do not care for her.

74. Otis Cesaire- Got akumatized because a kid said he could outrun a panther. I’m still not over it, Otis.

73. Andre Bourgeois- No love for the crooked mayor. I hope your wife divorces you. 

72. Alec Cataldi- The real villain of Stormy Weather. Like fr why is he such an asshole?

71. Roger Raincomprix- Is Officer Roger just doing his best? Sometimes. But like sometimes this mans just needs to take a chill pill.

70. M. D'Argencourt- Please get out of the 1600s

69. Ella/Etta- These two are basically the same character, and I am indifferent to both of them.

68. KnightOwl/Barbara- Listen, I would have liked you more if you were less controlling.

67. Majestia- Same as above, but like I guess I like you more

66. Theo- *Mean Girls principal voice* Stay away from underaged girls!

65. Andre the ice cream man- I just want a scoop of chocolate, Andre. Is that too much to ask??

64. Amelie Graham de Vanily- We haven’t seen much of her, but she seems like a snake bitch.

63. M. Kubdel- I mean, if my son wanted to resurrect an ancient mummy and believed in aliens, I’d give the family heirloom to my daughter too.

62. Jalil Kubdel- Lolol, buddy, pal, dude, my guy. Chill.

61. Vincent (Adrien's photographer)- Head empty. Mom’s spaghetti. Idk he’s alright.

60. Manon- I don’t hate Manon. She just gets on my nerves every time she talks.

59. M. Ramier- This mans got akumatized a billion times because he gets emotional about pigeons. I mean, honestly mood.

58. Mme. Mendeleiev- She doesn’t put up with Chloe’s shit, and we respect her for this.

57. Baby August- Someone just give this mans some food. He’s a growing boy.

56. Santa Claus- If I were Santa, I too would list Ladybug as the best kid in the world.

55. Art Teacher- He doesn’t even have a name, but I vibe with him. He seems like he likes to paint scenes of nature with his pet squirrels.

54. Prince Ali- Lil mans just wanted to have a good time. I can respect that.

53. Duusu- Duusu, I get that your Miraculous was broken, but get with the program, girl. You is a hostage.

52. Other Kwamis- Idk, all the ones we haven’t seen as much. I don’t have real opinions on them yet. Just neutral.

51. Sass- He gives me dad vibes.

50. M. Damocles- You go, you funky owl man

49. Jean (Chloe's Butler)- He deserves a raise. What is your name, sir? We may never know.

48. Mireille Caquet- She’s pretty cute. No complaints.

47. Aurore Beaureal- Baby’s first akuma. I love her design. She’s a cutie.

46. Claudie Kante (Max’s mom)- This womans just wanted to go to space and live her dream. We stan a hardworking queen.

45. Hot Dog Dan- I like him more than Andre the ice cream fraud. Sure, my hotdog might turn me purple, but if I ask for chili on it, I bet he’d oblige.

44. Nadja Chamack- I mean, she’s doing her best.

43. Audrey Bourgeois- So, as I said in the episode ranking, I have a love-hate relationship with Audrey. She’s the worst, but that’s why I love her. I love her ironically. Like, yeah she’s atrocious, but I just want to watch her burn the world.

42. Luka Couffaine- Directly in the middle, like he’s always been.

41. Nathaniel Kurtzberg- My opinion of Nath improved after Reverser surprisingly. I ship it.

40. Chris Lahiffe- I like Chris better than Ella/Etta. He’s just a little mans out here living life wanting to grow up. Don’t believe it, Chris. Stay little forever. Being an adult suuuuucks.

39. Fang the Crocodile- The goodest boy.

38. Nooroo- I just want to give him a hug.

37. Mlle. Bustier- She’s doing her best, but I mean, when ya whole class keeps getting turned into supervillains, I’m surprised she’s not an alcoholic.

36. Penny Rolling- I just like her. I think she’s neat.

35. Ondine- Mermaid queen! She’s so sweet, and I love her with Kim. I hope we see more of her in the future.

34. Marc Anciel- Marc is a little cutie bean. Idc if he’s based off one of Thomas’s irl friends. He can stay.

33. Wayzz- He loves Master Fu so much I cry.

32. Felix Graham de Vanily- I know everyone hates canon Felix, but tbh he exudes massive chaotic neutral gremlin energy, and I actually kinda vibe with that. And he pisses with his uncle which is a whole ass mood.

31. Tikki- Tikki is very cute, but bby please work on the preaching. You don’t always know what’s right, babe.

30. Sabrina Raincomprix- Sabrina deserves better. I hope we see good things happen for her.

29. Lila Rossi- Surprised? I actually like Lila. The first fic I ever wrote for this fandom was a Lila redemption. I think she is a good antagonist and foil to Marinette. I absolutely want to see her get dunked on in canon, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.

28. Wayhem- I don’t know why, but Wayhem makes me laugh. I love him XD

27. Uncle Cheng- He’s just a good mans with a birb who wants to make you tasty food. What’s not to like?

26. Trixx- Trixx shot up after GoS. Chaotic bean make Eiffel Tower go bendy

25. Jess- She’s pretty cool. She’s a vibe.

24. Aeon- The cutest bean!!! She saw Adrien and Marinette and said yep. Those two are meant to be together. Jess, we gotta make it happen.

23. Ivan Bruel- Ivan is such a gentle bean. We love him.

22. Mylene Haprele- Smol

21. Fei Wu- I still have not watched the Shanghai special with subs, but I liked her.

20. Gina Dupain- The grandma I aspire to be.

19. Marianne Lenoir- I love her. She is good. She and Fu are so cute. And she seems like she would have kicked le ass back in the day. (and even now)

18. Rose Lavillant- I am so excited for Pigella!! Rose is too cute. We love her. 

17. Gorilla- aka Adrien’s real dad. If the series doesn’t end with Gabriel getting yeeted into the stratosphere and Gorilla adopting Adrien, I don’t want it.

16. Clara Nightingale- She’s in love with Marinette. You can’t change my mind. 16 is also how old I hc her to be, so don’t nobody come for me.

15. Tom Dupain- Most. Supportive. Dad. Soft bean. Just wants to make you fresh bread.

14. Sabine Cheng- Good mom vibes. We love to see her.

13. Juleka Couffaine- Shy goth bean. Just wants to have her picture taken. Definitely a lesbian. We stan.

12. Nino Lahiffe- The goodest boy. He’s just out here doing his best, loving his friends.

11. Chloe Bourgeois- Chloe is another one I have a love-hate relationship with. Her brattiness is funny to me. We had high hopes for her. Honestly, she ranks this high because I like to play with her in fic.

10. Max Kante- He smol and smort. And I adore his friendship with Kim and the fact that he made an AI himself at 14. What a legend.

9. Alya Cesaire- Rip to Alya salters, but I’m different. Outside of Chameleon, Alya is fine. She’s a supportive bff. All yall people that are mad she doesn’t kiss Marinette’s ass all the time need to go out and make real friends. I said what I said.

8. Alix Kubdel- I love Alix. I love how she is always so done with all the lovey-dovey bullshit. She is tiny queen, and Bunnix, while OP af, is still super cool. We love to see her.

7. Kagami Tsurugi- I will fight anyone who shits on Kagami. She has done nothing wrong, you guys are just haters. All she did was exist, and yall said, wow what a toxic bitch?? Disgraceful.

6. Jagged Stone- We are going to ignore the deadbeat dad trope that canon thrust upon him. He is a Marinette stan, and we love that.

5. Kim Le Chien- I really love Kim, you guys. Does that surprise you? Listen, my favorite male character types are sweet beans and himbos. Kim is both of these.

4. Master Fu- If you didn’t pick up on how much I love Fu from the episodes ranking, then idk what to tell you. I want him to be my grandpa. I would trust this mans with my life. He did his best. You paint those pictures, you funky little man. I love you.

3. Plagg- My galaxy trash man. Love him. 10/10 chefs kisses all around.

2. Adrien Agreste- The biggest Marinette stan there is. I just want him to kiss her on the face. And marry her. Idk, I just think that would be neat if he could do that. I just want good things for them.

1. Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Honestly, are you surprised? I have always been and always will be a Marinette stan. If you expected anyone else to be in this spot, then clown suit rentals are off to the left.

[alwaysmarilynmonroe]

Today is a very special day, it’s Marilyn’s Birthday! Can you believe that if she were still alive,  Marilyn would have been turning 94 years old today – just two months younger than the Queen herself! With each year I always try and write a special post about this amazing woman, who has helped me so much and achieved more than anyone could have imagined in her 36 years. Therefore, I decided to write 94 facts about the Birthday Girl – some you may know, some you may not, all in the hope that genuine things will be learnt and the real Marilyn will be more understood and appreciated.

Gladys and baby Norma Jeane spend some quality time together on the beach in 1929.

Little Norma Jeane, aged seven, in 1933.

Norma Jeane photographed by David Conover whilst working at the Radio Plane Munitions Factory in either the Fall of 1944 or Spring of 1945.

Norma Jeane by Andre de Dienes in late 1945.

Marilyn by Richard Miller in 1946.

Marilyn on Tobey Beach by Andre de Dienes on July 23rd 1949.

Marilyn by Ed Clark in Griffith Park in August 1950.

Marilyn attends a Party in Ray Anthony’s home, organized by 20th Century Fox on August 3rd 1952.

Marilyn filming The Seven Year Itch on location in New York City by Sam Shaw on September 13th 1954.

Marilyn by Milton Greene on January 28th 1955.

Marilyn by Cecil Beaton on February 22nd 1956. This was her favourite photo of herself.

Marilyn attending the Premiere of The Prince In The Showgirl at the Radio City Music Hall on June 13th 1957.

Marilyn by Carl Perutz on June 16th 1958.

Marilyn by Philippe Halsman for LIFE Magazine in October 1959.

Marilyn attends a Benefit for The Actors Studio at the Roseland Dance City on March 13th 1961.

Marilyn on Santa Monica Beach for Cosmopolitan Magazine by George Barris on July 1st 1962.

______________________________________________________________________________

1.  Stood at a height of 5’5½”

2.  Born in the charity ward of the Los Angeles County Hospital at 9:30 AM on June 1st 1926.

3.  Married three times;

– Jim Dougherty: (June 19th 1942 – September 13th 1946) – Joe Dimaggio: (January 14th 1954 – 31st October 1955) (Temporary divorce granted on October 27th 1954) – Arthur Miller: (June 29th 1956 – January 20th 1961).

4. Suffered two confirmed miscarriages; an ectopic pregnancy on August 1st 1957 and miscarriage in December 16th 1958.

5. Suffered with endometriosis very badly, so much so that she had a clause in her contract which stated she would be unable to work whilst menstruating.

6. Starred in 30 films – her last being uncompleted.

7. Favourite of her own performances was as Angela Phinlay in The Asphalt Jungle (1950)

8. Winner of three Golden Globes; two for World Film Favourite – Female in 1954 and 1962 and one for Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical for her performance as Sugar Kane in Some Like It Hot (1959) in 1960.

9. Her idol was the first Platinum Blonde Bombshell, Jean Harlow.

10. Amassed a collection of over 400 books in her library, ranging from Russian Literature to Psychology.

11. Favourite perfume was Chanel No.5

12. Had two half siblings; Robert “Jackie” Baker (1918 – 1933) and Bernice Miracle (1919) – the former she would never have the chance to meet and Bernice was not informed about Marilyn until she was 19 years old.

13. Former Actor and 20th Century Fox Studio Executive, Ben Lyon created the name Marilyn Monroe in December 1946 – Marilyn after fellow Actress, Marilyn Miller and Monroe after Marilyn’s mother’s maiden name. Ironically enough, Ben starred with Jean Harlow, in her breakout movie, Hell’s Angels (1930).

14. Legally changed her name to Marilyn Monroe ten years later, on February 23rd 1956.

15. Attended The Actors Studio.

16. Third woman to start her own Film Production Company – the first being Lois Weber in 1917 and the second being Mary Pickford in 1919.

17. First had her hair bleached in January 1946 at the Frank & Joseph Salon by Beautician Sylvia Barnhart, originally intended for a Shampoo Advert.

18. Contrary to popular belief, she was technically a natural blonde, not a redhead or brunette. She was born with platinum hair and was very fair until just before her teen years. Her sister described her with having dark blonde hair upon their first meeting in 1944.

19. Another myth debunked – she had blue eyes, not brown.

20. Was one of the few women in the 1950s to use weights when exercising.

21. Wore jeans before it was considered acceptable for women.

22. Her famous mole was real – albeit skin coloured, so she emphasized it using a brown eye pencil.

23. Was a Step-Mother in two of her three marriages to three children – Joe Dimaggio Jr. and Bobby and Jane Miller.

24. Found out she landed the lead role in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) on her 26th Birthday.

25. Another huge myth dispelled – only actually met President Kennedy four times from 1961 – 1962. Three of them were at public events, with the last being her performance at Madison Square Garden. One of them was at Bing Crosby’s Palm Spring house with various people, so at most (which again, is very unlikely) they had a one night stand – nothing more and nothing less.

26. Was the first Playboy Cover Girl, although she did not actually pose for them, nor give permission for them to be used. Hugh Hefner bought the photograph from a Chicago Calendar Company for $500 and the two never met.

27. Speaking of Playboy, the photo was taken by Photographer Tom Kelley on May 27th 1951 and Marilyn made a total of $50 for the photo shoot. The most famous photo then went on to cause a national sensation after being sold to the Calendar Baumgarth Company and became known as, “Golden Dreams“.

28. In 1955 it was estimated that over four million copies of the Calendar had been sold.

29. Favourite singers were Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald. 

30. Attended the Academy Awards Ceremony only once on March 29th 1951 and presented the award for “Best Sound Recording” to Thomas Moulton for All About Eve (1951) which she also starred in.

31. Performed ten shows over four days to over 100,000 soldiers and marines in Korea in February 1954 – she actually ended up catching pneumonia because it was so cold.

32. Was one of the few Stars who had Director Approval in their Contracts. Some of the names included were, John Huston, Elia Kazan, Alfred Hitchcock, George Stevens, William Wyler, Joshua Logan and Sir Carol Reed.

33. Was pregnant during the filming of Some Like It Hot (1959) – filming finished on November 7th 1958 and she miscarried the following month on December 16th.

34. Featured on the cover of LIFE Magazine seven times during her lifetime;

– April 7th 1952 – May 25th 1953 – July 8th 1957 (International Edition) – April 20th 1959 – November 9th 1959 – August 15th 1960 – June 22nd 1962

35. Favourite bevarage was Dom Perignon 1953 Champagne.

36. By the time of her death, her films had grossed over $200 million, when adjusted for inflation that is the equivalent of $2 billion in 2019.

37. Designer, William Travilla dressed Marilyn for seven of her films, two (*) of them received Oscar Nominations in, “Best Costume/Design, Color“;

– Monkey Business (1952) – Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) – How To Marry A Millionaire (1953) * – River Of No Return (1954) – There’s No Business Like Show Business (1954) * – The Seven Year Itch (1955) – Bus Stop (1956)

38. Spent 21 months of her childhood at the Los Angeles Orphanage, from September 13th 1935 until June 7th 1937.

39. Was one of the first Stars to speak out about child abuse, with her story appearing in movie magazines as early as 1954.

40. Fostered by her grandmother’s neighbours, Ida and Albert Bolender, for the first seven years of her life.

41. Lived in England for four months, during the period of filming for The Prince and The Showgirl (1957) from July 14th 1956 – November 20th 1956.

42. Her Production Company, Marilyn Monroe Productions produced only one film, The Prince and The Showgirl (1957) based on Terrance Rattigan’s play, The Sleeping Prince.

43. Was photographed by Earl Theisen in October 1952 wearing a potato sack dress after being criticized by the press for her outfit choice at The Henrietta Awards in January 1952. A journalist wrote that Marilyn was “insignificant and vulgar“and “even in a potato bag, it would have been more elegant.“

44. Was a huge supporter of LGBT+ rights, saying the following quote about fellow actor and friend, Montgomery Clift to journalist W.J. Weatherby in 1960,

“I was remembering Monty Clift. People who aren’t fit to open the door for him sneer at his homosexuality. What do they know about it? Labels–people love putting labels on each other. Then they feel safe. People tried to make me into a lesbian. I laughed. No sex is wrong if there’s love in it.”

45. Her measurements were listed as the following by her Dressmakers; 35-22-35 and 36-24-24 by The Blue Book  Modelling Agency. For the majority of her life she weighed between 117-120 pounds, with her weight fluctuating around 15 pounds, during and after her pregnancies (1957-1960), although her waist never ventured past 28.5 inches and her dress size today would be a UK Size 6-8 and a US Size 2-4 as she was a vintage Size 12.

46. Her famous white halter dress from The Seven Year Itch (1955) sold for $4.6 million ($5.6 million including auction fees) on June 18th 2011, which was owned by Debbie Reynolds. The “Happy Birthday Mr. President Dress” originally held the record for the most expensive dress, when it was sold on October 27th 1999 for $1.26 million. It then went on to be resold for $4.8 million on November 17th 2016, thus regaining it’s original achievement.

47. Was discovered by Photographer, David Conover, whilst working in The Radio Plane Munitions Factory in the Fall of 1944 or Spring of 1945, depending on sources.

48. Now known as the, “Me Too” movement, Marilyn was one of the first Stars to speak out on the, “Hollywood Wolves” in a 1953 article for Motion Picture Magazine entitled, “Wolves I Have Known”. The most famous incident being with the Head of Columbia Studios, Harry Cohn, who requested Marilyn join him on his yacht for a weekend away in Catalina Island. Marilyn asked if his wife would be joining them, which, as you can imagine – did not go down well and her contract was not renewed with the Studio. Marilyn made only one film with Columbia during her six month contract, this being Ladies Of The Chorus (1948) which was shot in just ten days!

49. Loved animals dearly and adopted a variety of pets over the years. These included a basset hound called Hugo and parakeets, Clyde, Bobo and Butch with Husband Arthur Miller.  A number of cats including a persian breed called Mitsou in 1955 and Sugar Finney in 1959. Her most famous pet was gifted to her in March or April of 1961 by friend, Frank Sinatra, a little white maltese named Maf. His full name was Mafia Honey, as a humorous reference to Sinatra’s alleged connections to the Mob. After Marilyn’s death, Maf went to live with Frank Sinatra’s secretary, Gloria Lovell.

50. The book she was reading at the time of her death was Harper Lee’s, To Kill A Mocking Bird.

51. One of the movies she starred in was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Picture and won, this being All About Eve (1950) at The 23rd Academy Awards on March 29th 1951. It ended up being nominated for 14 Oscars, a record at the time and has only been matched by Titanic (1997) and La La Land (2016).

52. Her first magazine cover was photographed by Andre de Dienes in December 1945 for Family Circle, released on April 26th 1946.

53. Joined The William Morris Agency on December 7th 1948.

54. Was right handed, not left as often believed.

55. Third Husband Arthur Miller wrote the screenplay for Marilyn’s last completed film, The Misfits (1961) which was originally written as a short story for Esquire Magazine in 1957. After the tragic ectopic pregnancy Marilyn endured in August of 1957, friend and Photographer, Sam Shaw suggested to Miller he alter his short story specifically for her. Ironically the making of this film culminated in their divorce and Marilyn stating,

“He could have written me anything and he comes up with this. If that’s what he thinks of me then I’m not for him and he’s not for me.” 56. Was Author, Truman Capote’s original choice for the role of Holly Golightly in Breakfast At Tiffany’s (1961) however, she was advised to turn it down by her Acting Coach, Paula Strasberg, who did not think the role of a prostitute would be good for her image. Writer George Axelrod, who wrote the Screenplay for Bus Stop (1956) and the play, The Seven Year Itch, ironically ended up being the Screenwriter for this movie.

Capote said this regarding Marilyn,

“I had seen her in a film and thought she would be perfect for the part. Holly had to have something touching about her . . . unfinished. Marilyn had that.”

57. Second Husband Joe Dimaggio had The Parisian Florists deliver red roses on Marilyn’s grave twice a week, for twenty years, from August 1962 until September 1982. Marilyn had told him how William Powell used to do this for Jean Harlow after her death and he reportedly vowed to do the same after their Wedding Ceremony. After the 20 years he then donated to a children’s charity, as he thought it would be a nice way to honour her memory. They also created the flower arrangements for her casket at her funeral.

58. The following five Directors directed Marilyn in more than one movie;

– John Huston; The Asphalt Jungle (1950) and The Misfits (1961) – Richard Sale;  A Ticket To Tomahawk (1950) and Let’s Make It Legal (1951) – Howard Hawks; Monkey Business (1952) and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) – Billy Wilder; The Seven Year Itch (1955) and Some Like It Hot (1959) – George Cukor; Let’s Make Love (1960) and Something’s Got To Give (1962)

59. Was an illegitimate child, which unfortunately was attached with a lot of stigma in the 1920s. Her mother, Gladys, listed her then husband Edward Mortenson on the Birth Certificate, although it is commonly accepted that her real father was Charles Stanley Gifford, as Gladys left Edward on May 26th 1925. Gladys had an affair with him, which ended when she announced her pregnancy and he never acknowledged or met Marilyn, although she tried multiple times over the years to speak with him. 

60. Stayed in a number of foster homes during her childhood,

– George and Emma Atkinson; February 1934 – September 1934 – Enid and Sam Knebelcamp; Fall of 1934 – Harvey and Elsie Giffen; January 1935 – March 1935 – Grace and “Doc” Goddard; April 1935 – September 1935 and June 1937 – November 1937 and end of 1940 – February 1942 – Ida Martin; November 1937 – August 1938 – “Aunt Ana” Lower; August 1938  – End of 1940 and February 1942 

61. Had her hand and footprints immortalized in cement at Graumans Chinese Theatre on June 26th 1953, with Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) co-star, Jane Russell. Marilyn would place a rhinestone in the dot of the letter “i” as a reference to her character, “Lorelei Lee” but it was sadly stolen. This was an incredibly special moment for her, as she often talked about placing her hands and feet in the many prints there, when she spent her weekends at the Theatre as a child, especially in 1933 and 1934.

“When I was younger, I used to go to Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and try to fit my foot in the prints in the cement there. And I’d say “Oh, oh, my foots too big. I guess that’s out.” I did have a funny feeling later when I finally put my foot down into that wet cement, I sure knew what it really meant to me, anything’s possible, almost.”

62. The famous gold lamé dress worn in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) and designed by William Travilla, was deemed too risqué by the censors. Unfortunately for fans, this meant that the musical number, “Down Boy” was cut from the film and we only glimpse a few seconds of the dress from behind, on screen.

63. Due to the censors, the original, “Diamond’s Are A Girl’s Best Friend” costume was changed to the now iconic pink dress with black bow. Originally it was to be a diamond encrusted two piece, which was extremely daring for the then Motion Picture Hays Code.

64. Loved Erno Lazlo Skin Cream, Vaseline and Nivea Moisturizer.

65. Had she completed Something’s Got To Give (1962), Marilyn would have been the first Star in a major Motion Picture to appear nude on film. As she passed before it was completed the achievement went to fellow Blonde Bombshell, Jayne Mansfield in, Promises! Promises (1963).

66. Met Queen Elizabeth II in England at the Empire Theater in Leicester Square whilst attending the Premiere of, “The Battle Of The River Plate“ on October 29th 1956.

67. The Misfits (1961) was both Marilyn and Clark Gable’s last completed films. Clark died 12 days after filming finished, on November 16th 1960. The film was released on Clark’s would be 60th Birthday, February 1st 1961 and Marilyn passed 18 months later.

68. As Marilyn died before the completion of Something’s Got To Give (1962) it ended up being remade with Doris Day and James Garner, entitled, Move Over Darling! (1963). The film was originally intended to be a remake of, My Favourite Wife (1940) which starred Cary Grant.

69. Signed a recording contract with RCA Records on September 1st 1953. One of her songs from River of No Return (1954) entitled, “File My Claim” sold 75,000 copies in its first three weeks of release.

70. Was admitted to the Payne Whitney Psychiatric Clinic on February 10th 1961 by her then Psychiatrist, Marianne Kris. Originally thought to be for rest and rehabilitation, following her divorce from Arthur Miller and the strain of filming The Misfits. However, Marilyn was placed on the security ring and held against her will. Thankfully, she was able to contact ex Husband, Joe Dimaggio, who stated he would, “Take the hospital apart brick by brick” if she was not released and after three days of emotional trauma, she left.

71. Visited the following Countries;

– Canada – (July – August 1953) – Japan (February 1954) – Korea (Feburary 1954) – England (July – November 1956) – Jamaica (January 1957) – Mexico (February 1962)

72. Purchased her only home, 12305 Fifth Helena Drive on February 8th 1962, where she would tragically pass just under 6 months later.

73. The home had the following tile located on the front paving entrance saying, “cursum perficio” meaning, “my journey ends here.” The title is still there to this day.

74. Her final interview was published in LIFE Magazine on August 3rd 1962 and was written by Richard Meryman.

75. Aside from her millions of fans, had a staunch group of supporters affectionately known as, “The Monroe Six” who followed Marilyn around New York during her time there. Their nickname for Marilyn was, “Mazzie” and they became so acquainted that Marilyn actually once invited them for a picnic at her home.

76. First married at just sixteen years old, this was to avoid returning to the Orphanage she had spent almost two years in as a child.

77. Supported numerous charity events, most famously riding a pink elephant in Madison Square Garden, to support the Arthritis and Rheumatic Affections Association on March 30th 1955.

78. Left 25% of her Estate to her then Psychiatrist, Marianne Kris and 75% to mentor and friend, Lee Strasberg. For reference, her Will was last updated on January 1961 – a month before she entered the Payne Whitney Hospital on the advice of Marianne Kris.

79. At the time of it’s release, The Misfits (1961) turned out to be the most expensive black and white movie ever made, costing a budget of $4 million dollars.

80. The Premiere of The Seven Year Itch was held on her 29th Birthday, on June 1st 1955, she attended with ex Husband, Joe Dimaggio.

81. Laid to rest at Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery on August 8th 1962 at 1:00 PM, with friend and mentor Lee Strasberg delivering the Eulogy. 

82. Although so often associated with diamonds, actually wasn’t that fond of jewellery stating, “People always ask me if I believe diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Frankly, I don’t.” 

83. Spent her 36th Birthday filming Something’s Got To Give (1962) and then attending a Charity Event for muscular dystrophy at the Chavez Ravin Dodger Stadium, which also happened to be her last public appearance.

84. Whilst recovering in hospital from an appendectomy in April 1952, Marilyn asked long time Makeup Artist and friend, Allan “Whitey” Snyder to do her makeup, should she pass before him. She gave him a gold money clip with the inscription, “Whitey Dear, while I’m still warm, Marilyn” and he did fulfill this promise to her.

85. Converted to Judaism for third husband, Arthur Miller on July 1st 1956.

86. Despite appearing in 30 films, she only actually dies in one, that being her breakout movie, Niagara (1953) where her character Rose Loomis, is strangled by her Husband George, played by Joseph Cotten.

87. Moved to New York City in 1955 and attended The Actors Studio, after breaking her Film Contract with 20th Century Fox. This was for a number of reasons, mainly years of low pay, unsatisfactory scripts and lack of creative control. A new contract would finally be reinstated on December 31st.

88. Repurchased a white Baby Grand Piano that her mother, Gladys, owned during their time living together in 1933. After Marilyn passed it would then be sold at the Christies Auction of her Estate in 1999 to none other than, Mariah Carey for $632,500.

89. Wore long hair pieces in River of No Return (1954) and a medium length wig in The Misfits (1961). The first I can only assume was due to the time period and setting of a Western and the second was due to the bleach damage her hair had suffered. After the filming in 1960, she wore the wig a couple of times in public events and then reverted back to her normal hair.

90. Like all students, it was tradition to perform in front of each other in The Actors Studio and on February 17th 1955, Marilyn acted out a scene from “Anna Christie” with Maureen Stapleton. Although it was an unwritten rule that students were not meant to applaud one another, an eruption of cheers and clapping happened after Marilyn had finished.

“Everybody who saw that says that it was not only the best work Marilyn ever did, it was some of the best work ever seen at Studio, and certainly the best interpretation of Anna Christie anybody ever saw. She achieved real greatness in that scene.”

– Actor Ellen Burstyn, on recalling Marilyn’s performance.

91. Used the pseudonym, “Zelda Zonk“, when trying to remain incognito.

92. Marilyn’s mother, Gladys Baker, suffered from Paranoid Schizophrenia and after various stays in institutions, was declared insane on January 15th 1935, when Marilyn was just 8 years old. After 10 years she was released and managed to retain various cleaning jobs and had developed an intense interest in Christian Science. However, by 1951 she was back in various institutions and would stay in the Rockhaven Sanitarium until 1967. Even after death, Marilyn continued to cover her mother’s care payments and Gladys would go on to outlive her for 22 years.

93. Favourite photograph of herself was taken by Cecil Beaton on February 22nd 1956.

94. Last professional photos were taken by Bert Stern, famously known as “The Last Sitting” for Vogue Magazine on June 23rd, July 10th and 12th 1962. Allan Grant took the LIFE Magazine interview pictures in her home, on July 4th and 9th 1962. Whilst George Barris took his photos for Cosmopolitan Magazine, the previous weekend on the 29th and 30th of June, until July 1st 1962. ______________________________________________________________________________

To those of you who took the time to read through all 3000+ words, thank you! It truly means more to me than you know and I really hope it’s shed some light on the truly special person Marilyn was and made you hold a good thought for her on her big day.

Follow me at;

BLOGLOVIN

INSTAGRAM

TUMBLR

TWITTER

YOUTUBE

For inquiries or collaborations contact me at;

meganmonroes@icloud.com

Happy 94th Birthday Marilyn! Today is a very special day, it's Marilyn's Birthday! Can you believe that if she were still alive,  Marilyn would have been turning 94 years old today - just two months younger than the Queen herself!

[joekeeries]

50 reasons to ship romione

hey! I'm doing this post/edit kinda thing on my Instagram acc, and i need 50 reasons to ship romione

here's what I have so far

1. hermione is the most wonderful person he's ever met

2. they get jealous of their significant others

3. he. came. back.

4. they fell asleep holding hands

5. ron said he loves hermione

6. ron took care of Hermione when she forgot to eat

7. he faced his greatest fears for her

8. he knows how to comfort hermione

9. he vomited slugs for her

10. he was stood up against snape for her, landing himself into detention

11. he saved her from the troll even though he didn't like her

12. he wanted to be tortured instead of Hermione

13. he was going mad screaming hermione's name from the dungeons

14. he agreed to help her defend buckbeak even though they were going through a fallout

15. she asked him to slughorn's party

16. she cried for a whole week or more after ron left

17. he made up for his yule ball mistake and asked hermione to dance with him at bull and fleur's wedding

18. he wanted to teach hermione is family tree to avoid all the muggleborn stuff

19. she noticed the dirt on ron's nose

20. he was hermione's shoulder to cry on

21. he got her perfume for Christmas

22. he said hermione's name while intoxicated

23. hermione always reached the burrow before Harry

24. they spent A LOT of time together without Harry

25. them bickering shows that ron listens to Hermione, something no one really does

26. ron was visibly more upset than Harry when hermione was petrified

27. he read a book just so he could woo her

28. she purposely packed tight jeans so she could see ron's ass

29. ron's biggest fear is that hermione doesn't love him

30. hermione cried ron's name in confusion after the ministry fell

31. ron heard hermione's voice from the deluminator

32. ron tried to disapparare without a wand just so he could reach hermione

33. both tried to stop each other from being harmed by the snatchers

34. they kissed in the middle of the war

35. she kissed ron on the cheek

36. he step forward towards her to pull her out of danger, while everyone ran

37. he defended her against malfoy every single time

38. only ron noticed hermione sudden disappearances during 3rd year classes

39. ron noticed that she had her teeth shrunken

40. when the death eaters attacked at the cafe his first instinct was to push hermione out of harm's way

41. he learned to value Hermione's hobbies

42. hermione smells his hair in amortentia

43. ron was constantly complimenting her

44. hermione got restless and worried waiting for ron to come back during the 7 potters mission

45. hermione looked at ron tenderly when he was worried for the cattermoles

46. she helped him during Quidditch tryouts

47. she was upset that Sirius attacked ron even during their fallout

48. she comforted him after bill and fleur's wedding

49. he comforted her after she modified her parents' memories

50. she took off his glasses, showing that she loves him as ron, not as harry

please feel free to add on 😊😊 romione reigns superior

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 44

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.5k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: okayyy so here it is. time passes quicker, and youll see itll be like that in the last few chapters too. i hope you like this one, i hope youll like the last few chapters. im a bit nervous so i hope it’s not too bad! oh yea and i used a manip someone made on instagram, just thought it was cool haha!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : some requests i used here but ill only post them in the next chapter because i don’t want to spoil anything!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 44 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

August 9th, 2018

That was it. We were done with an other season and I couldn't believe what we accomplished. What I accomplished. We had filmed the last scene two days ago, right on time for me to go see Niall perform in LA two nights in a row and the party organised to celebrate the end of this season was scheduled on the first night of his week off.  Everything seemed to fit perfectly together and I was happy. I was genuinely and truly happy.

"Did I tell you how much I missed you?" I heard my boyfriend whisper near my ear as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, making a shiver cross my whole body.

"Mm yes, about a million times in the past 3 days." I replied with a chuckle, tilting my head as he pressed his lips gently on my neck.

I had missed him so much too. We had spent over a month apart and just like I expected, we were even stronger than we were before and that said a lot. We had talked every single day on facetime but it was never the same than to be able to smell him, feel him, taste him... just seeing him face to face was different than on a screen and I had no idea how i'd be able to spend an other 5 weeks separated from him.

"Okay then, did I tell you how good you look tonight?"

I laughed again and turned around in his arms, tilting my chin up to look in his eyes. We were a bit farther from the others, slightly hiding by a part of the wall, and i licked my lips, hoping no one was paying attention to us.

"I'm literally wearing an old pair of jeans that shows how big my ass is and a plain t-shirt." I pointed out. "But thank you."

As if it was a suitable answer, his hands slid from my back to my butt and he squeezed it, making me laugh again.

"I love your ass."

"And in public too?" I asked with an amused smile, my eyebrows raised. "Are you drunk?"

He chuckled and bent down to kiss my lips and i let him, feeling his warm mouth move gently and slowly against mine. No matter how many times we kissed, it always felt amazing, and no one else tasted that good.

"We should go back to the others." I pointed out in a low voice. "They're gonna start wondering where we are."

"Mm, I don't care." he whispered against my lips, making me chuckle low.

"Come on." I just replied, finally taking a step back and tilting my head on the side. "We can cuddle tonight."

We walked back in the room hand in hand and I noticed Dylan looking at us. He sent me a small smile that I answered as I tried to ignore Heidi, sitting next to him. They had been dating for longer than I thought they would and I was wondering if he still thought everything he had told me about her the last time we discussed it. I really thought it was a good thing for him to be with someone else, I just thought it sucked that she was the one he had picked. Still, it was none of my business and I couldn't stop him from inviting her to this party. After all, it was his tv show too, and I owed him a lot. I was well aware that it was more popular because he was the male lead and I knew how lucky I was to act with him.

As soon as we sat down, Heidi and Dylan got up but she left to the other side of the room and he walked to us, sitting in front of my boyfriend. I didn't know if this was about to be awkward but before we could say anything, I heard my phone and frowned. I grabbed it quickly and excused myself, knowing it was even more awkward that I left my boyfriend and my ex boyfriend together.

"Hey Louis, you're calling at a very weird moment." I just said with a smile.

"That's me specialty, love." he let out as a joke, making me chuckle. "You mom tried to call you apparently, but she couldn't reach you so she called my phone. Sweet sweet lady with an incredibly strong accent. It always surprises me."

I rolled my eyes but a smile still drew itself on my lips. "What did she want?"

"She said it was not urgent but she wanted to talk to you, make sure you're not dead or something."

I raised my nose up. "Don't joke with that."

"Sorry love, I didn't mean to bring back... that memory." he apologized after a few seconds of silence. "She doesn't know though, does she?"

"No, only you, me, Niall, and I'm guessing El?"

"Olivia, I didn't tell that to anyone, not even El." Louis admitted, making me smile fondly. "This is no one's business but yours. I promise to keep that secret forever."

"Thank you, Lou." I whispered before swallowing.

I hated to remember that moment of weakness I had, even if I knew it was part of why I was who and where I was today. I really had to hit rock bottom to kick myself up and finally breathe again. If my relationship with Niall was so strong now, it was partly because I had worked on myself and although I knew I still had work to do, I was stronger than I used to be when I first dated Niall. Of course, swallowing all the pills I could find was not my smartest or strongest moment but I was trying to forgive myself.

"Oh you want to hug me right now don't you?" Louis joked, making me laugh through my tears. "I know you!"

I laughed and wipe my eyes quickly before licking my lips. "Yea, I drank a bit too so it doesn't help. I'll text you soon, Lou."

"You better. Love you, queen."

I smiled fondly at the nickname and closed my eyes. "Love you too."

I hung up and texted my mom quickly before going back to the table. Dylan was now sitting next to Niall and it made me frown. I knew they were both a bit tipsy and I didn't want anything bad to happen between them. Gladly, I knew Niall was not into confrontation and Dylan was quite laid-back too. Plus, he was probably over me by then and if they could just accept each other's company, it would be enough for me. I didn't expect them to become close friends, of course, but It would be nice if it wasn't awkward between them anymore.

"Oh and that small.. whimper or whisper she makes when you slip your hand in her panties." I heard Niall comment before Dylan chuckled.

"Right." he agreed, shaking his head gently. "And she's always so ready too."

A tiny part of me wanted to stay and listen to what they were going to say but the part of me that was angry was definitely bigger. I took a step closer but held my breath when Dylan started talking again.

"Let's say it's different than Heidi."

"No man, I ain't going there." Niall laughed while shaking his head before taking a sip of his beer.

"No, I mean, Heidi is very sexy but it's that... that connection, you know?" I frowned and my lips parted when Niall laughed again.

"I don't want to hear about the 'connection' you had with my girlfriend, O'Brien." he pointed out, turning his almost empty beer with his fingers.

"No yea, I know. I just mean that... it's different when you love someone."

"Are you two really comparing how Heidi and I are in bed?"

Both of them jumped so high I thought they were about to fall off their chairs. I wanted to look at their reaction but I decided to focus on my boyfriend and when he turned around, his face changed and I could read fear in his eyes. I crossed my arms on my chest and shook my head, licking my lips.

"That's fucking disgusting. I don't deserve that, and Heidi doesn't either."

This time, I read surprise in Niall's eyes and glanced at Dylan who seemed as shocked as my boyfriend. Oh I still didn't like Heidi, but that didn't mean it was okay for them to discuss about how she was in bed.

"Just because both of you had the chance to fuck us both doesn't give you the right to share gossips about us." I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my anger inside and breathed in deeply. "That's fucking wrong."

I turned on my heels and left before I stopped and turned around again to look at them. "I'm mad at you both, by the way, if that wasn't clear enough."

I walked quickly to my dressing room and closed the door before holding myself against the counter, closing my eyes. I was torn between being mad that they could easily talk about me like that and being relieved that they could actually talk to each other without it being awkward. After a few minutes, I heard a knock at the door and thinking it was probably one of them, I swung the door open but my face changed when I noticed my assistant. My lips curled and I raised my eyebrows a bit surprised.

"You left quickly, are you okay?" she asked, concern written all over her face.

I made a quick head movement to incite her to walk in and closed the door behind her before we both sat down, her on the couch and me on a chair. Tinka was fairly new since my old assistant had to leave due to a pregnancy and we immediately bounded. She was gorgeous and I had to admit I was a bit jealous of her, not only for her looks but also for the way she attracted people easily and all that charisma she had probably inherited at birth, but at the same time, I felt connected to her too and I could never hate her.

"Okay so, I wanted to show you something. I mean at first I was not sure if I should, because I shouldn't have filmed it in first place, but..." she blabbed nervously before shaking her head. "I'll just show you."

She took her phone and clicked on a few things before handing it to me. I frowned, taking it cautiously before noticing she was showing me a video. I clicked on play and my eyes got bigger when I noticed Niall, sitting at the cafeteria as Heidi sat down in front of him. The first part of the conversation was hard to hear but Niall seemed confused and when she handed him a sheet of paper, I frowned again. He stared at what was written on it and finally, she put her hand on top of his and I felt my heart jump high in my throat. The second part of the conversation though, I heard it very clearly.

“You’re right. We should get back together, Niall.” Heidi said with a soft voice. “I mean, I know you’re trying to make me jealous with her but let’s be real. Who could really be jealous of her?"

This time, my heart sank in my chest and I swallowed hard. I was worth more than Heidi gave me credits for, I knew it now, but I also knew she would never see it. Perhaps, she was too busy trying to win Niall back.

“Do you even listen to yourself? You know damn well I’m with Liv and.. aren’t you with Dylan? I love her, okay! I’m not trying to make anyone jealous, I’m just trying to love her the way she deserves to be loved… the way I failed to love her the first time. And you have nothing to do with any of this. What even makes you think I want to be with you?"

I bit my bottom lip, breathing in deeply again and trying to suppress a small smile of relief when I heard my boyfriend's words. The fact that he admitted that he failed to love me right the first time made something stir in my stomach. I knew that failed relationship was not just on him, but it was nice to hear him admit that, especially to someone else.

“Because of that song! You wrote it for me and put it in one of my boxes for me to find!” she argued with him.

I saw Niall roll his eyes and his next words were as harsh as the tone he had used.

“I wrote this about Olivia! I wrote that in the first week I saw her again at the bakery after not seeing her for over a year. It isn’t about you, Heidi. It got in one of your boxes by mistake!” he let out rudely. “I love Olivia, not you. You need to let it go, okay? And those instagram posts you make.. For fuck’s sake, Heidi! What’s the point? Make me feel bad? Alright, I’m sorry I cheated on you, I should have broken up with you before and that was a mistake, okay? Now please, leave me the fuck alone.”

The video stopped but I still stared at the screen, lost in my thoughts, until Tinka talked again.

"I don't know why i recorded this, and I know I shouldn't have, I'm sorry." she apologized again. "But it was recorded anyway so I mean, why not show it to you?"

I just stared at the thumbnail of the video again before clicking on the 'delete' button and when it asked me if I was sure, I clicked on 'yes' without hesitation.

"Thanks, Tinka. I deleted it." I finally said, looking up at her before she nodded. "But thank you for showing me. Just... don't do that again, please. Niall and I we're both very... private."

I handed her her phone back just as an other knock was heard at the door. We both got up and I opened the door as she walked past Niall. He nodded at her and finally turned back to me, his hands in his pockets. I couldn't help but tilt my head, glancing down at him, telling myself once again how good he looked. I also couldn't stop thinking about the way he had told Heidi he loved me and it made me want to hug him.

"Olivia, I'm.. so sorry."

I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows, expecting more than just a simple apology.

"You're right. It was so wrong, and we shouldn't have." he added, making me lick my lips. "We were literally trying to find something to talk about, and it was so awkward... the only thing we really have in common is you. But we shouldn't have."

I let my shoulders fall and sighed, raising my nose up in a grimace. "So I really make some sort of whimper when you slip your hand in my panties?"

He chuckled and took one of his hands out of his pocket to pass it in his hair. "Yea, you do. But I'm slightly jealous knowing you also whimper like that when he did it. I thought I was special."

"Oh, poor little boy thought he was special." I joked, making him grimace too. "Come here."

I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him inside before closing the door behind him. He was close to me, so close I could feel the warmth of his body close to mine, and when my ass met the counter, I smiled more. He chuckled as he stared down in my eyes and shook his head slightly.

"Do you forgive me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Mm, maybe."

I felt his hand slip in my jeans and panties and my eyes fluttered slightly as my lips parted as I let lout a whimper despite myself.

"And now?" he asked, clearly amused by the effect he had on me.

"I'll tell you in a few minutes." I whispered, tilting my chin up to look at him better.

I felt two of his fingers brush gently on my clit before he slipped them inside me. I moved one of my legs up on the counter and he moved closer to me, bending down slightly until his lips were only a few inches away from mine.

"You're all mine, yea?" he whispered, making me bite my bottom lip. "Say it."

"Mm, I'm all yours Niall." I breathed out, blinking a few times. "I belong to you."

"Fuck yes you do."

He started fingering me quickly, making sure his palm was rubbing against my clit and when I felt an orgasm spread all over my body, I let my head fall back and shook slightly as he pressed his mouth against mine. I could feel his lips curl as I came and I finally got down from my high, whimpering low and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Okay, I forgive you." I whispered, kissing him deeply for a few seconds before moving my head slightly back. "Do you think that's how Dylan will want to be forgiven too?"

I laughed lightly at the face he made and I heard him groan low. "I'll kill him."

I shook my head a bit and my amused smile turned into a fond one. "You know, I never ever moaned his name." I admitted, licking my lips. "I only do that with you."

He looked happy with my confession but he still raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Because... I was always scared I'd moan your name instead."

His face changed and somehow, I could read love in his eyes and it made me swallow hard. He remained silent and my lips parted again.

"I've never stopped loving you, Niall." I murmured. "I told you."

"Guess what, Olivia?" he let out in a soft tone, his eyes roaming quickly on my face. "I never stopped loving you either."

                                                      ----

August 15th, 2018

Dylan had stopped me before I left and had apologized to me profusely. He even texted me the next day to apologize again and I forgave him immediately. Maybe it was because I felt a bit guilty for not telling him about the video Tinka had showed me where his girlfriend was blatantly trying to get back with my boyfriend, but It was easy to forgive him and I knew he felt horrible about it. I was still unsure if I should tell him and at the same time, I didn't want to be the reason of their break-up, or even of a fight so I deciced to ignore it for now but that didn't stop me from feeling bad.

It was almost time for Niall to go back on tour and I felt extremely nervous about it. It had taken me about a week to decide on what I would do. I wanted to go with him but at the same time, I didn't want to be the clingy girlfriend who followed him everywhere. With time, I realized that I could follow him without going back to my old habits but I still had no idea how to tell him. He hadn't mentioned it again, probably because he didn't want to sound pushy or make me feel like I had to follow him, but my insecurity sometimes tried to make me believe it was because he didn't really want to spend so long with me.

"Why did you want me to come with you, Louis?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and turning to him as he was parking. "You know it's one of my last few days with Niall."

Louis laughed and shook his head, turning to me to look in my eyes.

"We both know you're gonna follow him on tour, Liv. Who are you trying to fool?" he said, his accent thick. "You can spend a few hours with your best friend, can't ya?"

I felt my heart skip a beat at how well Louis knew me, sometimes even better than I knew myself, and I realized that I had opened up to him like I had never opened up with anyone else besides Niall. And I didn't regret it at all.

"Yes. You're right."

"Look," he started again, turning on his seat to look at me. "I have something for you."

He searched through his pockets and handed me a well-folded piece of paper, which was surprising. Normally, anything that ended up in Louis' pocket was crumpled or crushed. I frowned a bit and took it before unfolding it gently and carefully.

"I drew it meself. Took me hours."

My lips parted as I looked at the drawing of a crown. It was pretty and he clearly had put a lot of effort into it. It was not perfect, but I thought that's what made it look even more special.

"Wow, Louis... this is..."

"I made it for you." he cut me gently. "If you wanted to get a tattoo, that is. It represents you well, don't ya think?"

I looked up in his eyes and weirdly, I could read stress, like he was not sure how i'd react. The fact that Louis always called me his queen, and that he had even written a song about me with that word made this drawing even more important for me and as soon as his eyes met mine, I knew it would be impossible for me not to get this tattoo.

"I think it represents you, actually." I explained, tilting my head and looking at him. "This tattoo will always remind me of you, and I want you to know that you're important to me, Louis. I would be dead without you. Literally."

His lips curled slightly on the right and stress disappeared from his traits.

"Now you need to draw something for me to get, too." he pointed out.

"Wait, so we're here to get you a tattoo that I would draw?" I asked as  his smile turned into a smirk.

"Exactly."

"Can it be simple? I can't draw for shit." I admitted with a grimace.

"Just draw it, give it to the artist, and I'll look at it when it's done."

I stared at him for a few seconds, feeling my heartbeats accelerate and after a while, I breathed in and out. After all, if he didn't like it, he could always get something over it, right?

It took half an hour to get the crown tattooed on my ankle but only about 10 minutes to get the smiley I had drawn for Louis. It was pretty simple with x's instead of eyes and since it was on his wrist, he kept his eyes closed the whole time to make sure it wouldn't ruin the surprise. We walked back to his car in silence about an hour later and sat down, both of us leaning against our seats.

"Is it too simple?" I asked before he turning his head my way with a smile.

"No, it's perfect."

I smiled back at him and held my hand up between us. It took him a few seconds but he finally grabbed it, intertwining his fingers with mine and squeezing my hand.

"Thank you for saving my life." I let out in a soft voice. "Literally, but also metaphorically."

"You saved mine, too."

                                                       ---

When I walked back in Niall's house... I mean, in our house... I heard him talk and frowned, trying to be quiet in case he was on the phone. I saw him in front of his laptop, just talking to the screen and it took me a few minutes to realize he was probably on a live chat on instagram. I made sure to remain silent and walked to the kitchen to gt myself a glass of wine and leaned against the counter. I listened to what he was saying from the living room, smiling and chuckling from time to time until I heard him say his goodbyes. I wanted an other minute or two, knowing Niall was the kind of person who said bye by stayed an other half an hour with his hand on the doorknob before actually leaving and when I joined him in the living room, he was getting up.

"Are you done?"

"Yes, sorry, I thought it would take you longer." he apologized, making me smile.

"No, it's all good, it's cool that you do lives for your fans." I just shrugged, joining him near the couch. "Your such a good person."

He smiled more and took the glass from my hands before placing it on the coffee table. I chuckled and he wrapped his arms around my waist, raising his eyebrows.

"And does that turn you on?"

I laughed some more. "Maybe."

He didn't answer anything. Instead, he pressed his lips against mine as his arms pulled me even closer. My eyes fluttered close as he deepened the kiss and I sighed low, feeling my body relax in his arms.

"I'm gonna miss you so much." he whispered before kissing me some more,

"I'll miss you more."

He stepped forward, forcing me to take a step back, and guided us around the couch and until the hall. I ended up hitting my back on the wall and I laughed against his lips.

"Clumsy ass." he said in the same amused tone he always said it. "I love you."

We finally ended up in our room and he closed the door with one of his feet, bringing me to the bed and quickly putting himself on top of me. I loved the feeling of his body over mine, warming me, and it always surprised me that every time, it would make a shiver cross my back. I shivered in his arms and he pulled away slightly to look in my eyes.

"How about we stay locked here until I have to take that fucking stupid plane?"

I raised my eyebrows and my lips parted before I tilted my chin up. "Don't you have somewhere to be tomorrow?"

"I canceled." he admitted, his eyes dropping to my lips before he ground his hips against mine, probably without thinking.

"For me?" I asked with a small smile.

"For us."

I brought my hands to his cheeks and let one of my thumbs brush on his bottom lip. "How many times are you gonna make love to me until you leave?"

His lips curled again and he chuckled low. "As many times as I can."

[rosalie-starfall]

I’m bored so I’ll just answer all of these

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Coffee Mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Chocolate 

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Neither

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? literally a conversation I had with my 2nd Grade Teacher 

Teacher “Kayla, you talk back to much”

Kayla “I do not Talk Back!”

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Soda Bottles 

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Tomboy Preppy Boho Goth?

7. earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows? Both

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.? Dance

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Coffee and cereal or a granola bar or toast

12. name of your favorite playlist? The Witching Hour, or my Island Life Playlist

13. lanyard or key ring? Lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Twizzles or Red Vines

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Of Mice and Men

16. most comfortable position to sit in? With my legs to the side or crossed under me

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? My sketchers

18. ideal weather? Overcast but warm with no wind or snow maybe a tiny bit of rain and some fog!

19. sleeping position? on my stomach

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? PC

21. obsession from childhood? I Dream of Jeannie and The Nanny

22. role model? Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Carol Burnett, Carrie Fisher, 

23. strange habits? None that I can think of.

24. favorite crystal? Rose Quartz and Onyx 

25. first song you remember hearing? Walkin on Broken Glass

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Drink at a patio bar

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Drink by a fire

28. five songs to describe you? Different Drum by the stone ponies 

29. best way to bond with you? Over Middle Aged Actresses and Fictional Characters

30. places that you find sacred? My Grandma’s Rose Garden Growing up, Disneyland

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Dock Martins, Dark Blue Jeans, Black Off the Shoulder loose fit Tee

32. top five favorite vines? Red?

33. most used phrase in your phone? IDK literally 

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? Thankfully I don’t have any

35. average time you fall asleep? Around Midnight

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? I honestly have no clue. Maybe the Star trek Engage photo?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase (But it really depends on the trip)

38. lemonade or tea? Both Arnold Palmer!!!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon Cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? It was so long ago I really can’t remember anything weird happening to me

41. last person you texted? My Dad

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Pant Pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Fake Leather Jacket

44. favorite scent for soap? Pumpkin

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? If It’s Comedic I’ll Love whatever

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Birthday suit

47. favorite type of cheese? Colby Jack?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I have no Idea but Apples are my favorite so I’ll go with that

49. what saying or quote do you live by? If you don’t like something do something about it

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? My mom’s Flip Flop breaking at the movie theater and her trying to get out to the car. OMG even just that little summer I’m crying from laughing at the memory 

51. current stresses? Money, Covid, Politics, the world, anything and everything

52. favorite font? Open Dyslexic

53. what is the current state of your hands? Sad, dry, Scratched 

54. what did you learn from your first job? you might get free food sometimes

55. favorite fairy tale? 

56. favorite tradition? watching shows with my family on Wednesdays 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? I don’t think I’ve overcome anything

58. four talents you’re proud of having? I’m really good at cutting men’s hair, I think I’m quite good at making gifs, I think I’m pretty good at writing (it’s something I’m working on) I can Quote Both Addams Family movies in their entirety just from hearing the musical score

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Tits

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Like Sailor Moon?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? “Ain’t no bitches gonna hunt no ghosts”

62. seven characters you relate to? Liz Lemon, Elaine Benes, Lavinia Dickinson, Zelda Spellman, Barbara Minerva, Shirley Feeney, Jillian Holtzmann

63. five songs that would play in your club? My heart will go on (Remix by the Math Club), Dreams by deep Dish Feat Stevie Nicks, Doin it right by Daft Punk, Shake Senora Feat T-Pain & Sean Paul, April Showers By Proleter

64. favorite website from your childhood? Pixie Hollow (online game) BTW “Website from my childhood” Is very limited we didn’t have internet until I was like 10ish

65. any permanent scars? I have a scar under my right eyebrow from Chicken Pox

66. favorite flower(s)? Poppies and Roses

67. good luck charms? I don’t have any

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? I hate fish but also just meat in general 

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Carley Simon had terrible stage fright and couldn’t preform in front of audiences. I’m pretty sure that’s a true statement. 

70. left or right handed? Right

71. least favorite pattern? Abuse?

72. worst subject? Men and Hetero Shit

73. favorite weird flavor combo? I’m not one for weird Flavor Combos 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 2... I don’t fuck around. I try and get ahead of the pain

75. when did you lose your first tooth? I have no Idea

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Fries, Skillet, and Whorehouse

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? succulent? 

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Coffee from the Gas station 

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? School ID

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Earth Tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Lightning Bugs

82. pc or console? PC

83. writing or drawing? Writing 

84. podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket? Polly Pocket

85. fairy tales or mythology? Mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? Cookies 

87. your greatest fear? Caves, Mines, and the Ocean

88. your greatest wish? To be a writer

89. who would you put before everyone else? My siblings

90. luckiest mistake? Quitting Homeadvisor

91. boxes or bags? Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy Lights

93. nicknames? Punkin, Kayla Bean, KP, Pain

94. favorite season? Autumn 

95. favorite app on your phone? Tumblr and Instagram

96. desktop background? 

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? 2 (My mom’s and my dad’s)

98. favorite historical era? 1930s and 1940s

[sunflowrhaz]

I was tagged by @theleavesoflorien​ to answer a few questions that dig a little deeper. thank you darling!! (this is literally months old oops) 💛

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen?

both really, i don’t have a preference

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city?

country! i hate cities so much! i grew up visiting my grandparents farm all the time growing up! although instead of the country preferably a seaside town such as the one i live in. it’s not too busy but not far away from everything.. plus i couldn’t part from the sea! 

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

picking back up painting, continue learning norwegian (don’t look at me like that marianne i keep saying i’m learning it but i’ve been so slack asdfdsasdf), get back into marimba

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?

tea with sugar is so gross! i only drink herbal teas. my favourite is spearmint

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

the harry potter series!! and the rainbow magic books asdfgfdsa, the princess diaries series, anything roald dahl, anything dr suess, captain underpants lol, hairy maclary, mr mcgee and the biting flea asdfdsadf soo many i was such a loner as a child and literally read every single book i could find

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

showersss

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be?

a mermaid so i can live my h2o fantasy adfasdfds or a dragon 🐉

8. Paper or electronic books?

paper always! i love the smell and i would love to have a giant bookshelf filled with books one day! i read on my phone for fics of when i get a free ebook but my right eye is so blind it’s like bitch no stop please lmaoo

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

all my flowy boho cotton blouses and pants! and my fave blue jeans and grungy tshirts

10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it?

i used to wish it was a little more unique like shortening it to ren/wren instead of lauren because i had 4 other lauren’s in my grade at school 😂i was literally friends with two lauren’s asdfgfdsa

but in the end i do love my nicknames lozz,lozzy, lozza so it’s not so bad!

11. Who is a mentor to you?

my mother and my grandfather! my grandfather is my biggest inspiration 💛seeing all that he has achieved and his views and mentality on life.

12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for?

nooo thanks. the only famous i would want to be is for activism/humanitarian/environmentalist stuff but even then i wouldn’t want to be super famous and known?

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

nope! once i’m out i am out! i love my sleep and do everything i can to ensure i get the best sleep ever! now if you’ll excuse me i’m off to listen to harry’s calm meditation 😂

15. Which element best represents you?

fire and air

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

my brother! i feel like i don’t see him as often anymore what with his work and living in seperate houses. he is my best friend so i miss just always having him near me all the time.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

no one so much as just not seeing my family as often even though i do see them every week. i just want a big family holiday to spend time with them. and i’m missing some of my mutals atm who are busy lately 😞

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

i blocked out so much of my childhood eeep ummm probably visiting my grandparents farm, riding horses, my grandfather driving us around on a trailer on the back of a tractor, collecting cicada skins with my brother and starting a collection of cool bugs, stealing berries off the mulberry bush ahaha, finding snake skins (why did we like collecting skins wtf asdfd) 

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

snails? crocodile? i don’t even know ahaha (snails are amazing btw yummm i used to eat them all the time in vanuatu growing up)

20. What are you most thankful for?

my family, my health, the beautiful country i live in, the friends i have made on here 💛so many things

21. Do you like spicy food?

yummmmmm yes! just not super duper spicy i can’t handle that asdfgfsa

22. Have you ever met someone famous?

no i don’t think so? wait patty walters from as it is i got a pic and a hug from him <3 other than that no i don’t think so i mean i’m in the middle of nowhere asdfdsa woohoo australia

23. Do you keep a diary or journal?

i kept a super embarrassing diary at 12 but apart from that nope! like seriously that diary haunts me i don’t know what happened to it please for the love of god i hope it got thrown in the trash asdfdsa the CRINGE 

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

pen! 

25. What is your star sign?

sagittarius sun, capricorn moon, libra rising 

26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

CRUNCHY! wtf who is eating soggy cereal you are seriously disturbed asdfgfdsa

27. What would you want your legacy to be?

this is so tough ummm just bettering humanity and the environment idek 

28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read?

yes!! i was the loner kid in school who sat in the library at lunch reading all the books asdfgfdsa. the last book i read was the raven king by maggie stiefvater because LIBBY got me totally obsessed with this series god dammit what have you done to me and i am currently reading call down the hawk which is a sequel to the raven king (dammit libby asdfdsdfdsa)

29. How do you show someone you love them?

i always seem to cater to them with acts of service? so like cooking for them etc.. just doing stuff for them and looking after them in general? idk how to describe it. also sweet little messages and notes and cuddles! oh BOY will i tell you how much i love you in a birthday card or message asdsa like i will bring a tear to your eye baby just made my grandpa cry with his bday card asdfdsa

30. Do you like ice in your drinks?

crushed ice mmmmmm

31. What are you afraid of?

losing my family, never travelling, being stuck/tied down

32. What is your favourite scent?

the ocean, rain, books, sea breeze, wet grass, coffee, lavender, clean sheets, spearmint

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?

mostly their name? i mean i feel like where i live in australia it’s pretty chill and not so formal? i even call my grandparents by their first names adfgfdsa mainly because my grandma did NOT want to be called grandma 

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

OH BOY! i would be travelling non stop! i would literally never come home, i would be travelling around the world, living overseas etc... literally i would just be living on a boat sailing around greece or wherever. omg how i would love to do that :(

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

it depends. i would say the ocean (i love her so much) but also i was a swimmer for over 10 years so i love the pool too. i love sitting on the bottom of the pool, it’s so calming

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground

keep it but if i knew whose it was i would return it

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

no :( hopefully one day

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

i’m not having children

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

maybe a quote/word or something on the back of my arm above my elbow idek i have an entire tattoo board on pinterst asdfdsa even though i know i would never get one i am too indecisive  

40. What can you hear right now?

 i’m listening to a pop punk playlist on spotify

41. Where do you feel the safest?

at home with my family

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

my procrastination habits omg i am the worst!! certain family relations

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

dinosaurs mate, straight up, jks jks... no but really dinosaurs would be soo cool though, or maybe ancient greece?

44. What is your most used emoji?

💛✨😂

45. Describe yourself using one word.

more than one came to mind so giddy, optimistic, cheerful

46. What do you regret the most?

not travelling heaps after school ( i mean i was broke but still i should have worked more *sigh*) travelling looks really bleak now thanks to covid :(, losing touch with 3 certain people from high school i suck at staying in touch with people i am such an introvert 😞

47. Last movie you saw?

enola holmes and i loved it so much!

48. Last tv show you watched?

the mandalorian

49. Invent a word and its meaning

wobmap - intense affection and wonder for nature and the world

asdfgh what even

i tag: @pridesobright @sunflower-vol14 @rnbziamau @dailylouis @boobear-harold @princessparkhl @rosegoldeyelids @echoedsparks @angelharry (it’s been a while my secret santa pal ahaha hello!) and whoever else want’s to do this please feel free to say i tagged you! :) feel free to ignore 

[i-smile-so-i-must-be-fine]

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? morning baby 

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? engaged to her 

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? not really 

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? yea

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober 

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? yes 

7. What does your last received text say? it keeps coming and going 

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? i have no idea 

9. Where was your last kiss at? at the park 

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? i don’t have a sister 

11. What do you drink in the morning? red bull or coke 

12. Where did you sleep last night? in my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard? they can be but worth it if you put the effort in 

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? the pandemic

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? not at all would be bliss

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? sunny 

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? yes 

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? sweatpants 

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? hopefully the one im in now 

20. Does anyone like you? to say i’m engaged then i should hope so 

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? yes 

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? yes 

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?~ yes

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? i have 10 of them 

25. In the past week have you cried? yes

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? grey hound 

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? out 

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? not a proffessional one but he plays in a team 

29. Do you think you’re old? not really

30. Do you like text messaging? yes

31. What type of day are you having? its okay so far 

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? no 

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? cold but not rainy or snowy 

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? my son 

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? relationship 

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? complicated

37. What song are you listening to? non currently 

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?  yes 

 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? yes

 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?  we just clicked as soon as we started talking and she’s a beautiful person inside out 

 41. When did you last receive a text message?  9.22am 

 42. What is wrong with you right now? i have headache 

 43. How well do you know the last female you texted?  very well 

 44. Does anyone disgust you? yes

 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? no

 46. Are you in a good mood right now? meh 

 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? my son

 48. What color shirt are you wearing? black 

 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? kinda 

 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? no 

 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? no 

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? no

 53. Do you like rain?  its nice to look at but i hate been out in it 

 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? no

 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? yes

 56. Do you like to cuddle? only with my girl and our son

 57. Are you shy? yes

 58. Do you get along with girls? i’m a lesbian sooooo

 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?  we’re engaged 

 60. What do you carry with you at all times? phone, wallet, airpods, ipod, cigs, fliters, and a lighter 

 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? yes 

 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? we’re into 5 years of been together sooooo 

 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? yes

 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? very 

 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? not really 

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? 24, 6, 25 

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?  neither 

  68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? leopard 

 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? i can’t drive 

 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? neither 

 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?  iphone 

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?  its been a long time 

73. Do you like diet soda? not really 

 74. What color are the walls in your room? white and i have a wall thats papered 

 75. Are you 16 or older? older 

 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?  no 

77. Do you have a job?  no 

78. What are your initials? J E C 

79. Did you ever have braces? no 

80. Are you from the south?  no 

81. What does your last status on facebook say? happy new year 

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? no 

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? yes 

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? i’ve done gymnastics never cheerleading 

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? can’t remember what its called 

86. Do you smoke? yes 

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? flip flops 

88. Is your phone touch screen? yes 

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? straight 

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? yes 

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? pool 

92. Have you ever made out in a car? no 

93. …Had sex in a car? no 

94. Are you single or in a relationship? in a relationship 

95. What were you doing last night at midnight? laid in bed 

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? a couple days ago 

97. Do you like the camera on your phone? yes 

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? no 

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? yes 

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? don’t think so 

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? to say i have a child 

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: praying 

103. Do you have any tan lines right now? no 

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? no 

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #238

Tues May 05 2020 [02:04 AM] Wack'd: Have some Wolverine publicity

[02:05 AM] maxwellelvis: It BEGINS [02:06 AM] maxwellelvis: THERE's the John Byrne we know and... sigh because the guy who comes up with great covers like these is still the guy who sabotaged Jean Grey's spinoff attempt. [02:06 AM] Wack'd: John Bryne: fun dude but still a friggin dude [02:07 AM] Wack'd: So here we go. The secret story of Frankie Raye [02:08 AM] Wack'd: Turns out this is naturally what she looks like naked, plus a spiffy pair of elbow-length gold gloves

[02:08 AM] Bocaj: He didn't notice the gold gloves at any point? [02:08 AM] Wack'd: All this stuff just...vanishes when she puts clothes on [02:08 AM] Wack'd: Yeah no Johnny is like "I've seen you in a bikini" and she puts her robe back on and the gold clothes vanish [02:09 AM] Bocaj: "My terrible secret is that I'm a never nude" [02:09 AM] Bocaj: "There are dozens of us. Dozens" [02:09 AM] Wack'd: I understood that reference [02:09 AM] Wack'd: So anyway Frankie has been somehow psychologically conditioned to never notice that a superhero outfit appears on her whenever she's naked [02:10 AM] Wack'd: As well as not to think too hard about the fact that she has no memories before age 14 [02:10 AM] Bocaj: Uh. [02:10 AM] Bocaj: Well y'know what fair enough. I try not to think about that stretch of time either [02:11 AM] Wack'd: Her earliest memory is waking up in a dingy warehouse under an old labcoat [02:11 AM] Wack'd: She lived alone in a deserted apartment and got checks for a thousand bucks in the mail every week [02:11 AM] Wack'd: And was psychologically conditioned not to think about how off-spec that was for a teenager as well [02:12 AM] Wack'd: A lot of nonsense here resting on, essentially, a Somebody Else's Problem Field [02:12 AM] Wack'd: Whoever set all this up probably would've had a lot easier of a time if they just...gave her a normal life? [02:12 AM] Bocaj: I feel that however this explains her fear of fire from earlier on, this cannot have been what the original plan was even a little [02:13 AM] Wack'd: Anyway somehow meeting Johnny started to make the conditioning decay [02:13 AM] Wack'd: She freaked out when Johnny flamed on because it made her think too hard about things, but she was attracted to him in part because of that [02:14 AM] Bocaj: uh [02:14 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Johnny pushes her to explore this whole ordeal further, because she feels like the dam is finally about to break [02:14 AM] Bocaj: I have a dumb thought [02:14 AM] Wack'd: And break it does

[02:14 AM] Bocaj: She was completely naked in that- HOLY BEANS [02:15 AM] Bocaj: she was completely naked in that scene where she had the breakdown in that other issue and she didn't get the gold booties there [02:15 AM] Wack'd: She didn't but also because up until that point she was Somebody Else's Probemed into not seeing them, remember? [02:15 AM] Wack'd: And so we the audience didn't either [02:16 AM] maxwellelvis: Like the clown graffiti all over John's house [02:16 AM] Wack'd: Johnny uses his fire absorption powers to keep the building from burning down and gives chase [02:18 AM] Wack'd: He catches up to Frankie and gives her a crash course in steering and pacing herself before she and her new ecstasy for life burns down New York [02:18 AM] Wack'd: And she explains Frankie Backstory 2.0 [02:19 AM] Wack'd: She was raised by a simple repairman, a good man, who suddenly lost his friggin composure when the Fantastic Four arrived [02:19 AM] Wack'd: Ranting about how dare Johnny call himself the Human Torch, he dragged her to an old warehouse and began raving about old experiments [02:20 AM] Wack'd: Frankie humors him for a bit but while carrying an old oil drum it bursts into flames, leaving her miraculously unharmed [02:20 AM] Bocaj: Simple repairman has a point. Kind of rude, Johnny [02:20 AM] Bocaj: Jim was a war hero, ya dink [02:21 AM] Wack'd: And then dear old stepdad hypnotized her and abandoned her [02:21 AM] Bocaj: 😐 [02:22 AM] Wack'd: A year later a package arrived with a tape recorder and a gold costume. The tape recorder hypnotized her into putting on the costume and then erased her memories [02:22 AM] maxwellelvis: What a drip [02:22 AM] Wack'd: Anyway from all this Johnny deduces her stepdad was Phineas Horton [02:22 AM] Wack'd: But you guys already figured that out, I bet [02:23 AM] maxwellelvis: I forgot who he was. [02:23 AM] Wack'd: Jim Hammond's dad [02:23 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh [02:24 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Johnny decides to become her mentor and, after she tries to fly as high as possible and runs into that pesky atmosphere problem, takes her back to the Baxter to have Reed run some tests and figure out what her limits are [02:24 AM] Bocaj: I'm for once not sad that Ultron killed him after forcing him to turn the original human torch into the Vision [02:25 AM] Bocaj: Until Byrne retcons that to not be the case because dude loves him some jim hammond [02:26 AM] Wack'd: Anyway I misremembered what Frankie's deal was. I assumed android [02:26 AM] Wack'd: But Reed thinks that whatever was in that fateful oil drum was some sort of superscience chemical that mutated her [02:26 AM] Wack'd: Not sure what the point of her being a nevernude was [02:27 AM] Wack'd: Or why Phineas Horton brainwashed his fourteen year old daughter into wearing a strapless bathing suit at all times [02:28 AM] maxwellelvis: The guy labeled Jim a renegade when he showed the first signs of not being completely under his command [02:28 AM] Wack'd: It sure is a good thing this teenager with no parental guidance never did anything where that bathing suit might've become a problem! [02:28 AM] maxwellelvis: guy's a drip [02:29 AM] Wack'd: Reed has proven his hypothesis that biological sex determines how flame powers work I guess??!?!?

[02:29 AM] Wack'd: What sort of cis nonsense is this [02:30 AM] maxwellelvis: Johnny speaks for us all [02:30 AM] Wack'd: What all that means is "after a period of suitable training, we may be calling our friends at Marvel Comics and telling them to start publishing the Fantastic Five!" [02:31 AM] Bocaj: This is a thing that marvel does sometimes [02:31 AM] Wack'd: Good news for all those Spider-Girl fans I guess [02:31 AM] Bocaj: They've decided that Laura Kinney's foot claw is what girl wolverines be like [02:31 AM] Wack'd: *sigh* [02:33 AM] Bocaj: I'll say that Spider-Girl did it better by not saying, as far as I recall, that the difference was because man vs woman. [02:34 AM] Wack'd: Okay so we have another story in this issue [02:34 AM] Wack'd: Well, two, kind of [02:35 AM] Wack'd: First a brief interlude in which it is established at some point the Four will be going to the tiny town of Benson, Arizona to investigate cases of people being "frightened to death" [02:36 AM] maxwellelvis: @Wack'd My primary suspect is this man [02:37 AM] Bocaj: Put those tingles away [02:37 AM] Wack'd: Here's a Sue pinup which I'm mostly crossposting to see if I can wrangle a coherent set of interests out of her bookshelf

[02:38 AM] Wack'd: Pogo's on there. Sue has good taste in comics [02:38 AM] Bocaj: I was about to say [02:38 AM] Wack'd: And now on to our second feature [02:38 AM] maxwellelvis: She's got a copy of Shogun in there [02:39 AM] maxwellelvis: Dangerous Visions, a sci-fi anthology [02:39 AM] Wack'd: Meet Crow T. Rob--I mean, HERBIE 2.0

[02:40 AM] maxwellelvis: "You listen to me, 'Mr. Fantastic', you are NOT my real father!" [02:40 AM] Wack'd: "I want to decide who lives and who dies!" "So long as Franklin is in the 'lives' category I'm strangely okay with that" [02:41 AM] maxwellelvis: "Hey, Franklin, the secret word for today is 'booger'! Booger booger booger booger-AAAUGH!" [02:41 AM] Wack'd: Anyway this is not the only surprise Reed has in store today! [02:42 AM] Wack'd: He also has A Cure for Being the Thing Number Fucktillion [02:42 AM] Bocaj: Panel 2 Franklin does not look like a child [02:42 AM] Wack'd: He looks like a 1950s Western bit player [02:43 AM] maxwellelvis: "Oh great, another cure! How does this one work, and where can I hide when it backfires?" [02:43 AM] Wack'd: Ben is skeptical but as Reed points out science is always marching on [02:44 AM] Wack'd: He has more data than he's ever had [02:44 AM] Wack'd: Ben you've never asked her that before because it's literally never come up before. Fuck she's dated you while you were cured! Remember when you were riding around in that robot suit?

[02:45 AM] Wack'd: Anyway [02:45 AM] Wack'd: The machine blows up [02:46 AM] Wack'd: Welp

[02:47 AM] Bocaj: Could be worse [02:47 AM] Bocaj: At least its not pinecone grimm [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh that's coming [02:47 AM] Wack'd: Could be covered in bees. That'd be pretty bad [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Not for Ben it wouldn't. [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Unless they flew into his mouth. [02:47 AM] Bocaj: "Hahah sting you fuckers" [02:48 AM] Bocaj: "This time it is permanent!" Reed shut up [02:48 AM] Wack'd: Anyway this sure is weird nostalgia baiting [02:49 AM] Wack'd: Folks have done plenty of Lee/Kirby throwback stuff but was anyone nostalgic for this, like, at all [02:50 AM] Wack'd: Also like. C'mon Bryne, integrate your story developments naturally. You shouldn't need an entire issue where all that happens is status quo changes [02:50 AM] maxwellelvis: @Bocaj You might know, had Byrne ever written a comic book before his FF run? [02:51 AM] Wack'd: I guess Frankie was integrated a little naturally (even if she went from recent love interest to team member in no time flat) but the Ben is fairly hamfisted [02:51 AM] Wack'd: You can just check Marvel Wiki [02:51 AM] Bocaj: He co-plotted with Claremont I know [02:51 AM] Bocaj: And Claremont was big on the idea of co-plotting. [02:51 AM] maxwellelvis: But this would be his first, like, his first time flying solo? [02:52 AM] Wack'd: Dude has a lot of X-Men credits and some Captain Americas [02:52 AM] Bocaj: His first writing credit was on Iron Fist apparently [02:52 AM] Bocaj: at Marvel [02:54 AM] Bocaj: But from a skim of wikipedia fantastic four was his first extended solo writing thing

[nightskyhoseok]

Smut Game #1

Minx here! I’m deciding to switch to writing one-shots instead of drabbles (easier to sort that way). With this new system, I thought it’d be a good idea for you guys to request some one-shots. This works exactly the same as the drabbles - just give me a few numbers and a member, maybe a prompt if you have one, and drop it in my ask box! If you have any questions, let me know.

1. “One cock is never enough for this slut, even with his cock in her pussy…she’s begging for one in her ass.” 2.“Your shoulders are so broad, perfect for me to throw my legs over.” 3. “I won’t stop until I feel that sweet little pussy clenching around my cock.” 4. "You feel so good."  5. “Shh ~ it’ll be fine baby, no one will hear us.” 6. “Pull my hair. Fuck me like you mean it.” 7. “I hope you don’t plan on walking much tomorrow.” 8. “That’s it, touch yourself nice and slow.” 9. “I think you’ll be happy to know that I’m not wearing any underwear.” 10. “What a nice little sound, I think I’ll bite there again.” 11. “Keep testing my patience and you won’t be able to sit for the next month and every time you go to slide on some shorts or jeans you’ll grimace remembering how hard I had to spank your ass, all because you couldn’t listen.” 12. “I’ve hooked up with a few people after you but I haven’t been able to cum as hard as I did when you fucked me.” 13. "Anything for my princess."  14. "Do you want this? Why don't you beg for it, hm?"  15. “Daddy needs you, princess. Daddy needs your mouth so bad.” 16. “You’re so relentless. All I asked was for you to wait until we got home and you couldn’t even do that! You are so in for it tonight.” 17. “You’re so wet, I love it.” 18. “You’re a little slut for my cock, aren’t you?” 19. "Not a sound, do you understand? You have to be absolutely quiet, or I will make you want to scream even louder.”  20. “You look so pretty with your face covered in my cum.” 21. “The way my cum just dribbles down your thigh has me ready for another round already.” 22. “You’ve been good today, so spread your legs so I can fuck you with my tongue.” 23. “You wanted me to be rough, so I’m being rough, darling. Can’t you handle it?” 24. "Look at me when you cum, baby.”  25. "I could spend hours between your legs."  26. "Get on your knees."  27. “Let everyone know who’s fucking this pussy right.” 28. "Move your hands to the side, I want to hear you moan."  29. “I’m going to fill your tight pussy with my cum and you’re going to walk around for the rest of the night, knowing you’re filled with my cum.” 30. “Open those legs. I want a taste.” 31. "This is the way oppa likes you best, baby girl." 32. “Spread your legs. Let everyone see what a mess you’ve made.” 33. “I don’t think you understand how much I want to bend you over the nearest surface and fuck some sense into you.” 34. “Spread those beautiful legs for me."  35. "Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you.”  36. “I’m sure we can put those lips to better use.” 37. “I saw that. You just checked me out.” 38. "Come over here and let me show you who's boss."  39. "Get on the bed."  40. “You want me to cum inside of you? Fill your tight, hot little pussy with my cum?” 41. "Ah, ah, not yet. You aren’t allowed.”  42. “I want you to ride me."  43. “Don’t cover your mouth… I like hearing you.” 44. “Go ahead, taste how sweet her pretty pussy is.” 45. “You look good getting fucked… Now smile for the camera.” 46. "Damn, you're dripping and I’ve barely even touched you. Do I get you that excited?”  47. "Say my name."  48. "You liked that, didn't you?"  49. “Be loud. Scream for daddy, let the others know you’re mine and only mine.” 50. “You’re acting out…so, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t fold you in half right here and fuck the shit out of you.” 51. “Oh, look at you. All tied up and ready to be fucked." 52. “It’s my turn…I’m going to fuck his cum deep into your tight, little pussy.” 53. “God, you’re perfect.” 54. “I’d hold onto something if I were you.” 55. "You taste so good."  56. “You’re going to let me fuck your pink pussy, while your boyfriend’s watching? God, you are such a naughty girl.” 57. “I like this, your hands above your head, your body completely at my/our mercy.” 58. "You're so tight."  59. "Don't do that again or you'll regret it." 60. "That's a good girl.” 61. “How do you want me? On the bed? Against the wall?” 62. “Interestingly enough, (idol of choice), just told me he gets off to the thought of you…I thought maybe we could help him out. Give him the real thing.” 63. “I’m honestly so jealous of (idol of choice), he gets to come home and fuck you after tour…” 64. “No, you don’t get to cum until I say so. I don’t care if you’re close if you cum I’m going to punish you.” 65. “I know it feels good princess, but if you cum daddy is going to spank, not your ass but your pussy, until it’s red and you’re clenching around nothing, thighs shaking and skin burning, begging me to stop.” 66. “I see the way you look at (idol of choice) and I know you want him…go! Go and ask him to fuck your little whore pussy.” 67. “Forget the bed… let’s do it right here.” 68. “If you cum, I’ll have to punish you. 69. “Make a sound and I’ll have to stop.” 70. "I won't hesitate to make you scream my name, baby girl."  71. “Go ahead, tell em, baby, tell them how you loved to be covered/filled with cum.” 72. “Stay the night. Please.” 73. “I’m tired of acting like I don’t want you, and you don’t want me…just pin me against a wall and fuck me already.” 74. “Does me touching you excite you this much? You’re literally dripping.” 75. "Fuck, you look so hot with my cock in your mouth.”  76. "You’re a fucking goddess, baby.  If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do it right. I want to hear you scream my name.”  77. "Oh my fucking god Y/N, yes just like that.”  78. "Don't stop looking at me." 79. “I miss how soft your skin feels."  80. “I'm going to spank you and you can either accept it like a good boy/girl or not. Go with the second option and your punishment's going to be even worse.” 81. “Fuck, say my name again.” 82. "Shh, someone’s gonna hear…”  83. “You look so pretty tied up, your clit forced against that vibrator…cum for me, princess, cum for me.” 84. “The only time I want to hear such filth coming from your sweet lips is when I fuck you senseless. Understood?” 85. “I see someone’s happy to see me.” 86. “They’re all watching the movie. They’re not even going to notice.” 87. “Your pussy looks so pretty, especially when it’s covered in my cum.” 88. "Shh shh, if you moan like that we’ll get caught.”  89. “I-I can’t. My thighs are shaking so hard and even the slightest breeze across my pussy is making me shake daddy, I can’t take anymore.” 90. "How bad do you want me?"  91. "Did I give you permission to touch me?” 92. "You can have me any way you’d like, baby.” 93. "Let's see how loud you can scream for me."  94. "I want to see all of you."  95. "Can I have you tonight?"  96. “What I really want is to make love to you until the only word you can remember is my name…” 97. “Did you really have to give me so many hickeys?” 98. "You're so beautiful, jagi."  99. “Don't cover your face, I want to see you."  100. "Tell me what you want."

I look forward to seeing your requests!

[whiskynottea]

An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27,  Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35,  Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44,  Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47, Chapter 48, Chapter 49, Chapter 50, Chapter 51 Chapter 52, Chapter 53, Chapter 54, Chapter 55, Chapter 56, Chapter 57, Chapter 58, Chapter 59

AO3

(long) A/N: This story was born as a result of my procrastination. I wrote the first chapter instead of working on the paper for my PhD, an evening I was alone in the lab. I couldn’t resist, because I could see Jamie right there in front of me, teasing Claire in the class. Now, a year and a half later, I have finished writing my paper and my PhD thesis, got my PhD and I prepare for the next stage of my life. I guess what I want to say is… It has been a journey. 

I posted the first chapter as a one-shot and your feedback made me go on. Back then I knew the beginning and the end of this story and thought it would be about 20 chapters long. Well, these two kids had other plans. They had so much to do in between, to live together, that the story kept becoming longer and longer. And I loved it. I loved writing them. I really, really did.

When I was a few chapters in, I posted something about English not being my native language (as if that wasn’t obvious -- I had just started writing in English). The amazing @theministerskat saw that post and sent me a dm offering to beta Thermo. She was the first person I talked to on Tumblr and has stayed with me since then, correcting approximately 124,472,539 wrong prepositions in the process. Kat, I hope you haven’t regretted that dm. I can’t thank you enough. Love you.

So, here we are. The last chapter! Thank you all for the love you have shown to this story. Thank you for your reblogs, comments and likes. Thank you for your messages. Thank you for being a part of this journey! You’re amazing.

                                – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Chapter 60. An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics

Oxmas.

A little Christmas bubble in Oxford before the end of the term, created for the students to celebrate the holiday together. Even if it had to be a month early. 

Music, colourful Christmas markets, trees going up on the streets -- even at the centre of the old Bodleian court. I could never have imagined the Bodleian court looking more beautiful, but apparently, everything looks better with a Christmas tree.

My legs were hurting from the midnight ice-skating Malva, Mary, and Maisri had dragged me to. The three M’s of my Catastrophe, as I called them. But it was fun. A lot of fun. So much fun that I had forgotten myself for a while and laughed with all my heart.

Then I’d remembered that I would never tell him how great midnight ice-skating with friends was. 

Him. Sometimes it was difficult even to think of his name, let alone say it.

But life was going on and I was still at Oxford, with friends and our magical Christmas campus. Thinking about how terrible the holiday would be back at home, I decided that I owed it to myself to have a little bit of fun here.

I didn’t want to think about the end of the term. I was supposed to go to the US and then to Lallybroch with Jamie. Lamb wouldn't be in Edinburgh, because when I announced my initial plans he’d decided that he wouldn’t fly back. He was at a critical point in his research, he’d said. 

Back then, it was fine. Lamb was happy and he’d eased my guilt for leaving him alone in a single phone call. 

It was the reason I still hadn't told Lamb about Jamie. I didn’t want him to come back because his little niece couldn’t handle a break-up. And now, once the term was over, I would spend a month in Edinburgh alone, most probably studying for the next term. The ideal Christmas break. Just awesome.

“You’re still in your pyjamas?” Malva’s eyebrows shot up the moment she entered my dorm room. 

“Yes?” I asked confused, as I watched her walking towards me, shaking her head.

“Today is the event at Bodleian’s Old Schools Quad, remember? The one with the projections of maps on the buildings? You said you wanted to go!” 

I had said that, but then I forgot about it. It would be amazing, seeing the maps from the Bodleian Library collection projected onto the library’s historic buildings. I shot Malva an apologetic glance and got out of bed. “Give me ten minutes?” I implored, and headed towards my closet. 

“We’ll wait for you outside,” she said, before I heard the door click shut. 

I wore my favourite pair of jeans and a soft, warm sweater. Boots. A woollen scarf and a beanie, that meant I didn’t have to put any effort into taming my unruly curls. In less than ten minutes, I joined Malva and Mary who were giggling at something next to the front door. 

“What?” I asked, walking towards the entrance. 

“Well, our little shy daisy here has something to tell you, Claire.”

My eyes shot from Malva’s teasing smile to Mary’s blushing cheeks. “Oh my God! What?”

“It’s nothing!” Mary exclaimed, much louder than normal. Startling herself with her raised voice, her next words came out in a whisper. “It’s nothing, nothing. I’ve only met him once.”

“Him? Who?” I inquired with a grin on my face.

“Alex,” Malva replied instead of Mary, batting her eyelashes and faking a swoon.

“Who is Alex, Mary?”

“This guy,” Mary murmured. “I dropped my scarf last night and he picked it up and gave it back to me. He was so kind, and he smiled…”

“And?” I pushed her, but Mary had hardly heard me, lost in her reverie. 

“We were walking in the same direction,” she continued, her voice dreamy. “And we talked, and I don’t know how, but I didn’t stutter at all. He had the most beautiful eyes, and he’s a fresher too.”

“Which college?” Malva asked, chewing her lip. “We should pay him a visit!”

“Nnn-o, no, no.” Mary faltered. “And I don’t know that, anyway. An older guy materialized next to us all of a sudden and told him they had to go. Alex looked at me and said --”

“Till next time,” Malva spoke, imitating a man’s low voice.

“Yes, but not like that, you know,” Mary corrected, smiling and blushing even more. “But he doesn’t have my number and I-- I don’t know how…”

“Come on.” I linked her elbow with mine. “He might be there tonight.”

I was sure Mary hadn’t seen a single projection all night, her eyes scanning the crowd for him, for Alex. It was sweet and honest, and it made my heart hurt. So I focused my attention on the lights dancing on the hundred year old walls. The old and the new, in perfect conjunction. With my eyes on the Old School Quad buildings, I didn’t notice another him until he was standing right next to me. 

“That interested in maps, are you?” Robert’s French accent stood out from the British ones around us. I hadn’t seen him since that night at the bar, three days before. We had agreed to go out for drinks again, the way people always do when they say goodbye because they feel like they have to. He had my number and I had his from when we were back in Zambia, but, as expected, neither of us had called.

“It’s enchanting, isn’t it?” I asked in a light voice as I moved my eyes over another projection. 

He made a low, affirmative sound, but when I turned my head towards him, he was already looking at me again. “So, how do you find your first Oxmas?”

Robert shrugged. “It’s weird, isn’t it? The term hasn’t finished and I still have to work on an essay for the 26th, but everyone is so cheery. And you know, the trees, the lights…”

“They create a totally different atmosphere,” I finished his thought. “It will be weird when it’s over, going back to the pre-Christmas mood.”

“Definitely,” he agreed. “But I like it.”

“Well, celebrating Christmas twice can’t be bad.”

His eyes changed for a moment, and his mouth became a hard line. Before I had the chance to say something, he smiled. 

“Christmas is not my favourite time of the year,” he explained softly.

I was ready to ask how that could be, but I stopped myself in time. His mother. Maybe Christmas brought back memories of family traditions, and his mother was an inextricable part of this time for him. As Ellen had been for Jamie. I wondered whether not having so many memories from my parents was beneficial from time to time. But then, I would give my soul for a few more moments with them.

I took a step towards Robert and squeezed his arm in solidarity. Neither of us spoke, but we didn’t need to.

At some point, Malva disappeared and a bit later I felt someone pinching my arm.

“Ouch!” I turned to look at Mary. “What?” She was blushing again, and when I looked next to her, I saw a skinny guy with brown hair and the sweetest smile who was blushing too. 

“I didn’t find him, but he found me,” Mary whispered to me, her eyes shining with happiness. “Do you mind if we leave?”

I bit my lip to stop the smile from growing wider on my face. “No, of course not. Good luck!” I watched them until they disappeared into the crowd. 

I spent the rest of the night standing next to Robert, admiring the projections, enjoying the comfortable silence between us, and letting the colours of light sneak into my heart. 

“So, what’s the plan now?” he asked once the event was over. He looked around, searching for something. Or someone. “It seems that my friends ditched me,” he observed a moment later.

I snorted. “Yeah, mine too. Not big fans of maps, it seems.”

“Booze sounds better,” he commented. 

“Does it?” I wondered. 

“Oui. Join me for a pint?” Robert winked at me, then looked nonchalantly at the people leaving the library.

“You know that once I take the beanie off, a jungle of curls will be waiting underneath it?” I half-joked, half-prepared him for what he would see.

Robert laughed, then looked at my beanie as if I was hiding a little monster underneath it.

“You’re right,” he grimaced after a long moment of examination. “We better just walk around.”

His grimace became sincere when he felt my blow to his arm. “You’re an arse,” I added, for good measure.

“I think I’ve heard that one before,” he laughed, rubbing his arm. “That hurt,” he grumbled. “You’re paying for the drinks.”

“Fine! But no hair jokes for the rest of the night!”

“Deal!” he said, tugging on a curl, stretching it out and watching it spring back.

We went to a crowded pub, sat at the only available table in a corner, but Robert didn’t let me pay for the drinks. We talked about life in Oxford, the medical school and his courses on economics, and I tried hard to keep Jamie out of my mind, not to break down just because Robert had some common classes with him. Robert talked about his father’s business in France, and listened to my stories from my travels with Lamb. When we left, he announced that he would walk me back to my dorm, because it was late and he was a gentleman. Ignoring my snort at his description of himself, we started walking towards the dorms of Lady Margaret’s Hall. 

It was much quieter now that the events were over, but students were still walking around, laughing, flirting, and giggling. The night was beautiful, and a few stars hung in the clear sky. I took a deep breath and tried to empty my head from all thoughts of my heartbreak. I had fun tonight, and I was allowed to. I was entitled to it.

When we arrived at my dorm, I turned to say goodnight only to find Robert’s face a few inches away from mine. My heart stopped when I felt his hot breath and smelled the peppermint in it, from drops he’d bought from a stall at the Christmas market. I held my breath in turn, knowing that it smelled exactly the same. I had eaten half his peppermint drops on our way back to my dorm.

I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Before I had time to think, Robert tilted his head closer to me, and the next moment he brushed his lips against mine. It was gentle. A start. An invitation for more.

And I freaked out.

I took a hurried step back, raising a hand to my lips and looking at him through wide eyes.

Robert frowned at me, then took a step back, too. “You’re single, aren’t you?” he implored, perplexed.

“How?” I asked, not wanting to affirm his notion.

“How did I know?”

I nodded.

“You haven’t mentioned him once tonight or the other night at the bar, you’re not constantly on your phone texting him and you didn’t send him a picture from the event. Even though you loved it. It wasn’t so hard to figure out,” he concluded and shrugged, his gaze falling on my lips again.

“I guess I’m quite easy to read,” I murmured and heard him chuckle. 

“I like that.”

I nodded again, not knowing what to say. The truth. I had to tell him the truth. I was never good at lies, anyway. 

“Robert,” I started and his green eyes locked with mine. He was one of those people who didn’t even have to try to look good. Robert was the definition of a handsome man. But that didn’t matter at all. I took a deep breath and continued. “You’re not wrong. Jamie and I, we…” I swallowed, cursing myself for stumbling. “We broke up. But I’m not ready, and I don’t want to move on before I am. It wouldn’t be fair, to either of us.” 

Robert nodded and raised his chin, in defeat or acceptance I wasn’t sure, but kept his eyes low on the ground. “I understand.”

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, wanting him to look at me again. “I’m still in love with him.”

At that comment, Robert looked at me and gave me a wistful smile. He took a step towards me again and placed a warm, gentle hand on my cheek. His thumb caressed my cheekbone as he murmured something in French, so low that I wasn’t able to catch it. “You’re a good one, Claire,” he said, at last. 

“I don’t know about that,” I disagreed. 

“I do,” he insisted, then took a step back and turned to leave. I stayed rooted in place. He had only taken two steps away before he turned back again, grinned at me, and said, “See you around, Miss Bennet.”

As I walked up to my room, I wondered whether he was a good one. If I had made a huge mistake by stopping him, by not kissing him back. He was beautiful, smart and witty, even if he was a little bit more cocky and authoritative than I would like. 

And yet, kissing him now didn’t feel right.

Robert had a wonderful French accent, and all I wanted to hear was Jamie’s heavy Scottish one.

I fell onto my bed, hating Jamie for ruining my Oxmas, my chances for a future, my life. Hating myself for loving him so much.

Mary came back from her date after midnight. Alex had kissed her and her exhilaration permeated the thick layer of unhappiness that surrounded me. I was happy for her. I was glad she had found someone who was so like her, who could understand her, and care for her. Who didn’t mind if she was shy or stuttered, and saw the lovely person she was.

By the time Mary fell asleep, I couldn’t find it in me to be upset anymore. But I couldn’t force myself to be happy either. I slipped into my semi-depressed state with ease, and when I realized sleep wasn’t a choice anymore, I put on my thickest winter coat and headed out to the gardens. 

I don’t know how long I sat by the river, crying, while trying to stop my stupid heart from suffocating me. At last, I lay down on the cold grass, closed my eyes and wondered what kind of an idiot I would be if I ended up with pneumonia. Maybe that would be enough of a shock to delete Jamie from my mind. 

Maybe.

I woke up with the dawn overtaking the night sky and a hand holding mine. My heart began beating faster and faster, and I closed my eyes again, trying to figure out what to do. This wasn’t a woman’s hand. It wasn’t Mary’s, or Malva’s. It was a big, warm, male hand that seemed strangely familiar. But who was I to be sure about the familiarity of hands? I resolved to leap to my feet, take a look at the person lying beside me, and if I didn’t know him, run back to my dorm as fast as I could. 

But then he spoke. And his voice was a balm that soothed reality away.

“If I lay here, if I just lay here, will you lie with me and just forget the world?”

My heart stopped and I felt my eyes grow abnormally wide as I opened them again. I tried to breathe, but I couldn’t. I tried to react, to turn and look at him, but I was afraid that he was just a dream and the moment I turned he would dissolve into thin air. He had spoken to me in my dreams before. He had never been there when I had woken up.

“But you’ve never touched me,” I croaked with effort. 

“What?” His whisper was barely audible. Tentative.

“You’ve never touched me in my dreams before.”

A chuckle. “Yeah, bummer.” His voice quivered and a shiver ran down my spine. “I couldn’t touch you in my dreams either, Sassenach, and I decided to do something about it.”

My whole body tensed.

The gall of him.

I sat up so quickly the world tilted on its axis for a few seconds. When I found my bearings again, I slowly turned to look at him.

God, he was beautiful. Those red curls, the bright blue eyes, the wide mouth. I suddenly realized why I couldn’t kiss Robert. His soft brown locks, his shining green eyes, his full lips -- they were all wrong. Perfect, but wrong. 

A small smile curled Jamie’s lips and I realized he was drinking me in too. 

And then it hit me. The hurt, the desperation, the anger. 

“What are you doing here.” It wasn’t a question. It was an interrogation. I set my jaw, resolute to be rigid, determined not to cry. 

“I had to see you,” he said in a low voice and moved to take my hand. I snatched it away from him.

“Why? Are you trying to establish a new tradition? Do we have to see each other once a month now that we’re not together?”

“Twenty-six days,” he countered. 

“What?” I asked incredulously.

“It’s been twenty-six days since that night.”

That night. I knew exactly how many days it had been. A part of me had died over the course of each one of those days. I kept my hard gaze on Jamie for a long moment, then stood up. “Well, you saw me. Now, goodbye, Jamie.”

“Claire!” he yelled, alarmed, as he sprang up and rushed to me. “Wait.” He towered over me and grabbed my arm, afraid I would leave if he didn’t have a proper hold on me. I didn’t know if he was wrong about that. I wanted to get away, far away from him. Even looking at him hurt. “Please, Sassenach.”

“What do you want?” Ice infused my tone. 

“I need to talk to you.”

I didn’t want to listen to him, and yet, I wished for him to tell me everything. I wanted to know his heart, his thoughts. I needed answers, so many answers, but just looking at him and knowing he had decided he didn’t want to be mine was stealing my breath. He was here, but he wasn’t my Jamie anymore. 

I took a step to leave and heard him gasp, as if I had shot him. I froze in place, balling my hands into fists. 

I was fighting with myself, struggling to find what I wanted, and how much more pain I could handle. I closed my eyes, trying to set my feelings in order before they could choke me.

I felt like I was four again, standing in the aisle with the chocolate bars at the grocery store and trying to choose one. It was one of the few memories I had with my dad, shopping together. I will never forget how I had stared and stared at the chocolates, licking my lips as if I were imagining their taste on my tongue, trying to decide which one I should put in our cart. And then, surprising myself, I had suddenly started crying. Soon my silent tears turned into wailing, bringing my dad’s attention back to me. 

“What's wrong, Claire?” he had asked, eyebrows scrunched in a frown. 

But I couldn't answer his question. I hadn’t known what was wrong. I only knew that I wanted to do what he had asked and choose only one chocolate, but I also wanted to buy all of them. And I felt tired, too tired to decide. I only wanted my mum, because mum would know which chocolate was the best. So I kept crying, and crying, until my breath came in gasps, and my dad's face was blurry in front of me. 

He had held my shoulders and pulled me into a hug, then, his big hand drawing circles on my back to soothe me.

“In here,” he had said afterwards, tapping lightly on my chest, “Snuggle our feelings. And they are so many, sweetheart, that sometimes they don't talk to each other and try to get out of our chest all at once. And we start crying, because we are confused and we don't know how to feel. I want you to take a deep breath, stop crying, and tell me what's wrong.”

And with my father squatting in front of me, his hands tucking errand curls behind my ears, I had told him that I didn't know what I wanted.

I felt the same now, only that I was not four anymore, and I couldn’t throw a fit. Jamie was here, standing in front of me, looking me through pleading eyes, and he was all the chocolates. And yet, I couldn't have him. I couldn't trust him, not anymore, but I didn't want to leave either. I couldn't. 

So I inhaled. Exhaled. In and out, again and again, following my dad’s advice. My coat was soaked from lying on the grass for so many hours, and my hands felt like ice cubes. And I decided to listen to him.

“Let’s go find a bench. My arse is freezing.”

I started walking and heard him falling in step behind me, undoing the zipper of his insulated jacket. “Here,” he offered, catching up with me in two wide strides. 

“I’m fine, thank you,” I dismissed him, keeping my chin high.

“Please, Sassenach.”

“Don’t call me that!” I hissed, breathing hard. He had decided that I was not his Sassenach before he made that video call. I was plain Claire to him now, and he had better deal with it.

“Please, Claire,” he repeated, rectifying his slip.

I took his jacket begrudgingly and wore it. It was dry and warm, and it smelled like him. 

Dammit.

Two minutes later we were sitting on a bench, watching the sky changing from a deep blue to a lighter one. It was beautiful. This would be one of my favourite moments with him if his surprise had happened a month ago. Now, however, I could feel the bitter taste of these twenty-six days in my throat every time I swallowed.

“I’ll hear you.”

“Can I hold yer hands, please?”

“No.” My voice was colder than my hands as I shoved them into his jacket pockets.

Jamie took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. It was such a simple gesture and so him, that I felt my heart clench inside my chest. “I miss ye, Claire,” he whispered. “Every moment, every day.”

I resolved not to talk until he was done, and to keep any tears at bay. I would not cry. I would not.

“I miss ye when I wake up and I don’t find yer text on my phone. I miss ye when the guys do something funny and I can’t text you to laugh with you about it. I miss ye when I finish training and I can’t call ye to see how ye’re doing. I miss ye when I go back to the dorm and canna talk to ye about my day. I wake up every day, knowing that no matter what happens I willna be happy, Claire... I canna think of myself without ye.”

Fuck my resolution. I had to speak. 

“You didn’t seem to have any problem with that, twenty-six days ago,” I deadpanned. 

“I was a fool.” Jamie’s voice trembled. “I thought… I thought breaking up would be hard, but we’d get over it and then everything would be easier for both of us. I could see ye struggling here, and I couldna even hug you when ye needed me, when ye were tired from long hours in the library. Ye couldna come to my races or be there to calm me down when I was stressed. Another guy in the team broke up with his girlfriend who lived in another State and he got over it, eventually. And we arena in different States, Claire. We live on different continents,” he explained as if that detail had eluded me. “I felt torn all the time, between ye and my life in the US. I ken that I was the one who changed our plans, I was the one who went to Michigan--”

“I never said anything about our plans. I never complained, and I supported your decision from the very first moment. I was the one who told you to go. That is not why we broke up. We broke up because you stopped believing in us. Because you wanted somebody who would be closer to you.”

“No!” he protested, his gaze bore into mine with insistence and flame. “No, not somebody. Not anybody. I wanted ye to be close to me, and I thought that if we were in a long-distance relationship for years the pain of not seeing each other would become too much, until we couldna take it anymore. Or what we had would become less. I thought that we would gradually fall apart, and I didna want that. I thought that we didna have any other option, Sassenach. Every time that ye missed one of my calls, or I missed yers, I became more sure of it. Then I thought…” he trailed off.

“What? What else did you think, Jamie?” I prompted, impatient. He was a mess but I didn’t feel merciful in that moment to go soft on him. Not after everything I had been through.

“I thought if we were destined to be together, maybe we would find each other again once ended up in the same country. But now I know, Claire. I dinna want to find ye again after how ever many years, and realize that ye don’t want to be mine anymore. That there is a big part of yer life that I know nothing about. I dinna want to miss yer first day in the OR, or yer graduation. I dinna want to miss yer smiles after yer tutorials, even if I can only see them through a screen. I dinna ken what I was thinking when I believed I could do it without you, but I can’t. I can’t and I don’t want to be without you.”

I huffed, partly because I didn’t want to let his words have an impact on me. “Twenty-six days. Took you long enough.”

“I tried, at first. I tried to go on, to tuck you into a corner of my heart and keep living. But I couldn’t, Sassenach, because all of my heart was yers. I could have come to find you after those first few days. And maybe I should have, but I didna, because I wanted to be sure. But no matter how hard I tried, living without ye didna become easier. It became harder. I kent how I was with ye, and now I ken how it is to live without ye. It sucks, Claire. I’m miserable without ye. All I could think of this past month--”

“Twenty-six days,” I interrupted him.

He smiled, shaking his head. “I love ye. A Dhia, I love ye so much it hurts. Twenty-six days. All I could think of was ye, Sassenach. How I wanted to share everything with ye. How I needed to ken where ye are, what ye’re doing, and how ye feel. I missed ye with every breath I took. And now I ken that I canna go on without ye.”

I’d resolved not to cry, but treacherous tears were rolling down my cheeks without asking for my permission. 

“And how do I know that you won’t change your mind again? How can I trust you again, Jamie?” My question found its target in his heart, and I saw his sharp intake of breath from the impact. “You broke my heart,” I whispered, as an explanation. “You broke me.”

He looked down for a moment, but quickly locked his eyes on mine again. “I fucked up. I know I did. Forgive, mo nighean donn. Forgive me, please.” He paused for a moment, and extended his hand between us, palm facing up. He didn’t remove it when I didn’t move to take it, and he continued. “All I’m asking for is another chance. One chance, Sassenach. If ye’re not ready, if ye need time, I can wait. I will wait for as long as it takes.”

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t think time would change how I felt. I loved him, I knew I did. But he had given up on us, yielding to his fears. He didn’t believe we would make it through all the years of our separation. He had chosen a life without me and broke me in the process.

Well, and he regretted it. It was clear that he did. I could see it as much in the pain in his eyes as I could hear it in his voice when he spoke. 

I watched Jamie’s chest rising and falling with every breath he took while he waited for me to say something. His hair was a mess from all the times he had run his hand through it. I wanted to fix it, and then run my fingers over his cheekbones, over the curve of his lips. And yet, I was frozen in my place. Not even to take his hand that lay on the bench between us.

“How can we ever be the same again?” I asked, unsure. I started caving in, and I didn’t know how to feel about it.

“I dinna want us to be the same. D’ye remember the first time I talked to ye?” he asked with a timid smile. “In Mrs. Fitz’s class, ye were keeping notes on the first law of thermodynamics.”

I didn’t know where he was going with that, but I stayed silent and let him go on.

“The conservation of energy. Nothing is lost, Sassenach; only changed. And I don’t care if we change, as long as we change together. This… Me without ye… It was an interruption in the first law of thermodynamics. Because I was lost. And that’s against the laws of physics.”

I laughed. This was ridiculous. Jamie blushed, and then laughed with me.

“I ken what I want now, Claire. I want ye. I want us. And I will fight for us, if ye let me, because what we had -- what we have -- it’s true. It’s truer than anything I will ever get. It’s more than I could ever ask for.”

I kept my eyes on the river, the grass, the sky. I felt my heart beating faster in response to his words, as if each time he spoke he glued another of its broken parts back in place.

“All I’m asking for, is a chance,” Jamie implored. “A chance to prove myself to ye, mo ghraidh.” 

“A chance,” I murmured, trying to sort the tangle of emotions in my chest.

He came closer, now brave enough to take my hands out of my pockets and wrap them in his. “I know ye and ye know me. Ye’re the only person in the world that really knows me. Ye’re my heart and my soul Claire, and I canna leave without them, can I?” Without taking his eyes from me, he leaned into me and kissed me gently on the lips. 

And damn him, it felt right. But I didn’t kiss him back. I had more to say.

“You didn’t talk to me.” I kept my voice calm. “You had all these thoughts in your head, and you left me here in the dark, thinking that everything was alright on your end. And when you made up your mind, you just called me to announce the verdict of a trial I didn’t participate in.”

Jamie opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again. I guess there was nothing he could say that wouldn’t be a lie. He had decided for both of us.

“This…” I started again. “This is not how things work, how relationships work. If you have second thoughts, I need to know. If you need something I’m not giving you, I need to know. If you believe that we’re fucking falling apart,” I finally barked, unable to keep the anger from my voice, “I. Need. To. Know.”

Jamie nodded, but I was far from finished. “What we’re trying to do is bloody hard. We need to talk, and talking includes the unpleasant discussions too. I’m not going to try again without knowing that you’ll do that.”

“I give ye my word, Claire. We will make this work. I will do anything I can to make sure it does.”

“Will you talk to me? Always?” There was no ice or blaze in my voice now. Just a question. A sincere question that demanded an honest answer. 

“Always,” Jamie vowed and leaned into me. “I will not give up on us, ever again,” he whispered on my lips, and I drank the words in.

I had trusted him with my heart before and he broke it. But he was right when he said that I knew him. And I knew he’d torn his own heart apart in the process too. I could still see the pain in the way his sweater hung a little too wide on him, in the black bags underneath his blue eyes. I looked into his eyes, those eyes I knew better than my own, and saw the truth in them.

“One chance, Jamie Fraser. You won’t get another.”

“I willna need another. Ye’re mine and I’m yers, and I will never let you go again.”

“Promise?” I asked, as if that would seal the deal. As if his promise would secure my happiness.

“Promise,” Jamie nodded emphatically, his eyes overflowing with tears that split when he closed them and kissed me again.

And this time, I kissed him back. It was long, and soft, and encompassing. It was an offering of his soul, and I took it, keeping it safe inside my chest. A treasure and a hostage. 

“Plus,” Jamie said once we stopped to catch our breath. “I offer you a chance to torture me forever for making the worst mistake of my life.”

I laughed, cupped his cheeks and kissed him again.

I closed my eyes. Life was nothing but chances and choices. Decisions. Paths waiting for us to take them. A huge aisle with chocolate bars. 

I looked towards the path in front of me and I saw Jamie and me together -- arguing, fighting, kissing, laughing. I saw a man who wasn’t flawless, but was mine. I saw a future that wasn’t perfect, but was real. 

I saw happy moments and sad ones. I saw difficulties and dreams coming true. I saw us facing life with our hands clasped tightly together. 

When I opened my eyes again, I saw a risk, but a risk worth taking. 

“Challenge accepted, Jamie Fraser.” 

And just like that, the next chapter of our lives began.

[gremlin-named-kas]

Do them all. Do it do it

Oh fuck me

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

Absolutely (it's my gf)

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

Fuck no

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Yeap

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

Damn right it is.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

Sadly no

6. What are you excited for?

Eventually moving in with my gf.

7. What happened tonight?

Lol nothing. Came from work. Been watching futurama and random scary shit on youtube. Gonna smoke soon.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

I wouldn't say disgusting. Everyone deserves to get wasted every now and then.

9. Is confidence cute?

Yes but over confidence is gross

10. What is the last beverage you had?

Arizona Green Tea

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

Not including parents, 1.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

All my jeans are skinny jeans.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Either be at work, play some video games, or get stoned and watch a horror movie

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Idk prob food or gas.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

Why yes. Yes I am.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

Clothes? Absolutely. As a person hopefully for the better.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

My girlfriend @septempermental

18. The last time you felt broken?

Truly broken? Several years ago.

19. Have you had sex today?

Nope.

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

Uh no?

21. Are you in a good mood?

Currently yes.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

Have before. On purpose and on accident.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Honestly that's a good question that I don't know. But I don't think so. I think my eye color is unique to my family.

24. What do you want right this second?

I wanna get through all these fucking questions

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

I'd be upset prob.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Yes and no. Still got some pink in my hair but covid hair has really tried to grow out the pink.

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Fuck no.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

I think today at work. Ill be honest. I got shit memory so I don't fucking know what it was.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Oh absolutely. My gf and I are long distance. Miss the fuck out of her.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

Everybody? No. It always depends on what someone did.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

Nah, he just got a little too drunk on our first date for me to continue it.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

Absolutely she does. Love ya babe

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

Nah had a coke the other day.

34. Listening to?

Easier to just link my playlist.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1KWmFBITDwnkXfc8pTEOh8?si=ocglWqFHQKG7FfD-uvlqhA

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Dh5vWshjAqCEwNXzLyBTg?si=gjsUnjBGSembQLJMVZ_O-g

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

Prob haven't since college.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

Prob in her bed or in her living room.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes.

38. Who did you last call?

My gf.

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

My gf. But not for long (I was being an idiot)

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

Because I love her.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Good fucking question.

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

Nah one live across the country from me. The other has covid.

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Oh absolutely

44. Do you tan in the nude?

I don't go out of my way to tan. Don't wanna get my tats faded

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

Nope.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

Not last night.

47. Who was the last person to call you?

A robocaller/spam call

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Nah got roommates.

49. Do you dance in the car?

Dance? No. Belt out singing? YES

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Yes. Used to go to ren fest all the time.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

A buddy took a portrait of me while we were urban exploring.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

Nah I love them.

53. Is Christmas stressful?

Can be depending on your situation.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

Nope.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

The one my gf makes. It's an apple pie.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Pokemon Master, pro skateboarder, pro gamer

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Absolutely.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

All the time.

59. Take a vitamin daily?

Yeap

60. Wear slippers?

Nope

61. Wear a bath robe?

Nope

62. What do you wear to bed?

Underwear

63. First concert?

Rob Thomas. (Not by choice. First by choice was Foo Fighters)

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Target

65. Nike or Adidas?

Vans.

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Hot Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Neither. Can't eat nuts or seeds.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

Haven't really listen to Tswift enough to have a fav song. Have seen her live tho. She's really good live.

69. Ever take dance lessons?

Never.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

What ever makes them happy.

71. Can you curl your tongue?

Yep.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

Nah too dumb

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Nope.

74. What is your favorite book?

Perks of Being a wallflower

75. Do you study better with or without music?

With. But can't have lyrics. Lofi and orchestra soundtracks from movies.

76. Regularly burn incense?

Haven't in a while. But used to.

77. Ever been in love?

Currently am.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

TSSF, NoFx, MGK, Green Day, Rage against the machine, too many more to count.

79. What was the last concert you saw?

Colorado Punk band In the Whale. They are fucking fantastic. Highly recommend them.

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Cold

81. Tea or coffee?

Coffee

82. Favorite type of cookie?

Sugar.

83. Can you swim well?

Absolutely. Surf every now and then too.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yep

85. Are you patient?

I hope so.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

Band

87. Ever won a contest?

Nothing major.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

Nope

89. Which are better black or green olives?

I don't like olives

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

Uh who gives a shit. You do you.

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Living room? Where else would you have one?

92. Do you want to get married?

Yes.

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

Malou (’Mia Mayhem’) Jensen *Main character

Voice Claim:(Olivia Wilde) https://youtu.be/bV6cC-rUMCs?t=1m13s (Right click on links and open in new tab)

Partner(s): Dalton. Parents: None. Kids: None. Age: 37 (Year 2020) 26th of May. Height: 173cm Body type: Slim. Eye color: Light blue/gray Human: Immortal.

About: Caring, Individualistic, Generous, Passionate, Creative, Adventurous, Sarcastic, Charismatic, Clever, Compassionate, Sensitive, Freethinking, Friendly, Helpful, Sharing,  Humble, Self-critical, Understanding, Witty, Open-minded, Absentminded, Emotional, Brooding, Skeptical, Stubborn, Shy, Introvert, Observant, Anxious, Cautious, Genuine, Awkward and Clumsy. ~ Straight, but loves to watch gay porn. Is borderline Asexual when it comes to straight sex. ~ Has several tattoos on her body, mainly Geeky, representing some of the fandoms she’s in. ~ Her favorite tattoo is the unicorn she has on her left hand. ~ Colors her hair electric blue. ~ Is a writer/artist. ~ Currently learning to write song lyrics/sing/play guitar. ~ Lives with her roomie, Dalton. ~ Used to attend a design school where she would sew clothes all day, now she can’t stand sewing by machine, and only does things she can sew by hand. ~ HUGE cat lover. - Has 3 of her own, Oliver, BMO and Bunny. ~ Used to be very skinny and hated when people assumed she had an eating disorder, or called her names like giraffe or spider legs, when she actually had a very large appetite and always ate a lot. ~ Always smells like burned incense and wood. ~ Hates most artificial smells, loves earthy tones. ~ Loves to collect creepy stuff. ~ Atheist. ~ Has a pretty dark sense of humor. ~ Drinks almost nothing but tea. ~ Is probably made of tea? ~ Dislikes society. ~ Flannel/tartan addict. ~ Super power = anxiety. ~ Believes in unicorns and magic. ~ Strong-willed. ~ Stomps around in big boots. ~ Once kicked a taxi cause the driver was an ass. ~ Hates when people repeatedly sticks their nose in her business. ~ Orphan. ~ Pretty good cook. ~ Fills her bed with plushies to make up for the fact she hasn't shared her bed with anyone half a decade at least. ~ Lonely. ~ Melancholic. ~ Romantic at heart though she never fully admits it. ~ Cares too much for her own good. ~ 100/10 would do anything for the people she loves. ~ Is very honest, if you can’t handle the truth, don’t ask for it. ~ Was abused physically and mentally as a child, as result she sometimes suffers from anxiety, Depression and bad nerves. ~ Can be rather pessimistic. ~ Hates freezing. ~ Uncomfortable around people. ~ Loves her friends, her cats, Rock music, chillout music, pandas, unicorns, owls, wolves, ravens, deer, bears, foxes, Deadpool, watching movies, plushies, licorice, writing, being creative in any way, light chains, grungy stuff, neon lights, Christmas, Halloween, Halloween-type decor, Hello Kitty, 90′s stuff, spearmint, finding deeper meaning in stuff around her, stickers, Anti-Heroes, collecting penis decor, spooky stuff, anything made out of raw wood, flannel, daydreaming, weird/cute/extraordinary mugs, leather wristbands, gay porn, dancing to loud music, Rick & Morty, coloring books, cozy blankets, strange backpacks, gemstones/crystals, nature and scented candles. ~ Her style changes with her mood. One day she wears bright colorful stuff with rainbows and unicorns. Next day it’s black clothes with witchy/creepy symbols/prints or dirty jeans and oversized flannel shirts. ~ Can be pretty grumpy, but it’s usually nothing more than just that. Malou’s tag Malou’s house/home Malou’s moodboard Handwriting/ask answer pic:

One Gif to describe her:

One song to describe her:  Mumford & Sons - Hopeless Wanderer Personal playlist: 1. Incubus - Drive 2. D-A-D - Laugh 'n' A ½ 3. Godsmack - Serenity 4. Jack Johnson - All At Once 5. Damon Albarn – On Melancholy Hill (acoustic) 6. Tim Christensen - Whispering At The Top Of My Lungs 7. Linkin Park - Papercut 8. Nirvana - Plateau 9. Gorillaz - Tomorrow Comes Today 10. Serj Tankian - Left Of Center 11. Korn - Freak On a Leash 12. The White Stripes - Hardest Button To Button 13. Gorillaz - Aries ft. Peter Hook & Georgia 14. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Can't Stop 15. Madrugada - Sirens 16. Alabama 3 - Woke Up This Morning 17. Gorillaz - Amarillo 18. Jewel - Absence Of Fear 19. Angels and Airwaves - Secret Crowds 20. Blur - Girls And Boys 21. Gorillaz - Saturnz Barz (Spirit House) 22. Cigarettes After Sex - Sweet  23. Jewel - Deep Water 24. Jack Johnson - Sleep Through the Static 25. Damon Albarn - Lonely Press Play 26. D-A-D - Empty Heads 27. R.E.M. - Drive 28. Incubus - Promises, Promises 29. Chris Cornell - Billie Jean 30. Blur - Colin Zeal 31. Puscifer - Momma Sed 32. Heartless Bastards - Only For You 33. Gorillaz - El Mañana 34. Angels & Airwaves - Breathe 35. The Beatles - Come Together 36. 4 Non Blondes - What's Up 37. Gorillaz - Momentary Bliss ft. slowthai & Slaves 38. Norah Jones - Come Away With Me 39. Blur - Mirrorball 40. Incubus - Black Heart Inertia 41. Limp Bizkit feat. Method Man N 2 Gether Now 42. 2Pac - Changes ft. Talent 43. D-A-D - Bad Craziness 44. Nirvana - Pennyroyal Tea 45. Blur - Ong Ong 46. Angels and Airwaves - Do It For Me Now 47. Right Said Fred - What A Day For A Daydream 48. Damon Albarn - Everyday Robots 49. The Human League - I’m The Law 50. Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity 51. Linkin Park - A Place For My Head 52. Blink -182 - Down 53. 3 Doors Down - Duck And Run 54. Alanis Morissette - Hand In My Pocket 55. Savage Garden - The Animal Song 56. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Scar Tissue 57. Incubus - Dig 58. Green Day - Basket Case 59. LP - Lost On You [Live Session] 60. D-A-D - Sleeping My Day Away 61. Bob Marley - Buffalo Soldier 62. Beth Hart - Delicious Surprise 63. Extreme - Hole Hearted 64. Paul Simon - You Can Call Me Al 65. Jack Johnson - Breakdown 66. Damon Albarn - Photographs (You Are Taking Now) 67. Sticky Fingers - Cyclone (The Village Sessions) 68. Blur - Star Shaped 69. Serj Tankian - Empty Walls 70. The Dead South - Diamond Ring 71. The Kills - U.R.A Fever 72. Godsmack - I Stand Alone 73. Queen -  Bicycle Race 74. Alanis Morissette - Ironic 75. Dizzy Mizz Lizzy - Hidden War 76. Nirvana - About A Girl 77. Damon Albarn - Mr Tembo 78. Savage Garden - To The Moon & Back 79. Alannah Myles - Black Velvet 80. Jewel - Down So Long 81. Tep No - Swear Like A Sailor 82. Youssou N'Dour - 7 Seconds ft. Neneh Cherry 83. Gorillaz - Broken 84. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Road Trippin 85. Jewel - Good Day 86. Sheryl Crow - Everyday Is A Winding Road 87. Gorillaz - The Valley of The Pagans ft. Beck 88. Green Day - When I Come Around 89. Tim Christensen - Lay Down Your Arms 90. Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood 91. The Pretty Reckless - Zombie 92. Stereophonics - Maybe Tomorrow 93. Blackfield - My Gift of Silence 94. Dizzy Mizz Lizzy - Love Me a Little 95. Damon Albarn - Heavy Seas Of Love 96. The Paper Kites - Bloom 97. David Bowie - Heroes 98. The Beatles - Day Tripper 99. Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. 100. Faithless - Mass Destruction 101. Limp Bizkit - My Generation (Uncensored) 102. Tasmin Archer - Sleeping Satellite 103. Jennifer Brown - Alive 104. Of Monsters And Men - Sloom 105. Panic! At The Disco - New Perspective 106. Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff(Explicit) 107. Blur - Lonesome Street 108. Sort Sol - Holler High 109. Jacob Lee - Demons (Philosophical Sessions) 110. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here 111. Nina Simone  Feeling Good 112. The Human League - Darkness 113. Gorillaz - Strange Timez ft. Robert Smith 114. Des'ree - I'm Kissing You 115. Meredith Brooks - What Would Happen 116. Dan Black - Symphonies ft. Kid Cudi 117. The Kills - No Wow 118. Gorillaz - Fire Flies 119. Guns N' Roses - Patience 120. Incubus - In The Company Of Wolves 121. The Dead Weather - Will There Be Enough Water 122. Hooverphonic - Mad About You (Live at Koningin Elisabethzaal 2012) 123. Blur - The Universal 124. Sort Sol - Let Your Fingers Do The Walking 125. Roy Orbison - In The Real World 126. Corey Hart - Sunglasses At Night 127. Imagine Dragons - Radioactive (Henri Pfr & Hësling Edit) (Cover By Victoria) 128. Hollow Coves - These Memories 129. Beth Hart - Favorite Things 130. Catching Flies - Quiet Nights Bonus: Yello - Oh Yeah Double Bonus: Meredith Brooks - Bitch Triple Bonus: Seal - Crazy Almost done I swear!: Wolf Larsen - If I Be Wrong Last but not least: Tim Christensen - Enjoy The Silence