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oddarin · 4 years ago

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It is one of the most meaningless thing I’ve done in time - all least-to-most ranks and just characters’ fact answers (those that with no pictures) from oficial Ask Arcana gathered in one place. Have no idea what that information could be used for and if it even useful but it kept me occupied and distracted from some life shit for a while, so let it be.

who is most to least likely to enjoy the movie Frozen? Lucio, Portia, Julian, Asra, Muriel, Nadia

Out of the cast, who is the most to least likely to be the jealous type? Portia, Lucio, Muriel & Nadia (tied), Julian, Asra

would you like to rank the characters from who cries most to least ugly? like from sniveling to shoujo manga tears? Muriel, Lucio, Julian, Portia, Asra, Nadia

who is the most to least superstitious Portia, Julian, Nadia, Lucio, Asra, Muriel

most to least excited to be at a WWE event Portia, Lucio, Asra, Julian, Nadia, Muriel

From worst to best at handling children Nadia, Lucio, Muriel, Asra, Portia, Julian

From worst to best for alcohol tolerance Muriel, Asra, Lucio, Julian, Portia, Nadia

Character ranking from best at keeping secrets to loose-liped gossip? Asra, Muriel, Nadia, Lucio, Portia, Julian

best to worst dancers? Asra, Portia, Julian, Nadia, Lucio, Muriel

Most to Least likely to slap you for stealing a mcnugget Nadia, Lucio, Asra, Portia, Julian, Muriel

Least to most likely to eat something weird (read: probably shouldn't be eaten) because of a dare? Nadia, Julian, Muriel, Lucio, Portia, Asra and not even on a dare

how old are each of the revealed characters? everyone is old, but in order of least old to most old: Asra, Portia, Muriel, Julian, Lucio, Nadia

Who's the best kisser? Who's the worst? Best kisser: Faust (good snake smooches) Worst kissers: Mercedes and Melchior (too much cronch)

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If the main 6 played MTG what color decks would they play? Asra: Blue Nadia: White Julian: Black (Portia made his for him) Portia: White/Green Muriel: Green Lucio: Red

How did cast look as babies? Nadia: The best baby, perfect in form and function Asra: A cute baby, always looking around Julian: Not the most handsome baby, a little gangly Portia: Round, squealing delightful baby Lucio: Red-faced screaming awful baby Muriel: Sturdy and well insulated for the long winter

Of the main six characters, which ones are capable of juggling and which ones would absolutely love doing needlepoint? capable of juggling: Portia, Asra, Muriel absolutely love doing needlepoint: Nadia, Julian incapable of juggling/ absolutely hate doing needlepoint: Lucio

what would the cast choose as their job in the mmo final Fantasy XIV? Julian: Dragoon Asra: Astrologian Lucio: Ninja, but he messes up the mudras Nadia: Machinist Portia: Summoner Muriel: Paladin

What would be the favorite attractions/rides of the cast at Disney? Julian: Pirates of the Caribbean Asra: Astro Orbiter Lucio: Tower of Terror (RIP) Muriel: Matterhorn Portia: California Screamin' Nadia: Carousel of Progress

What do the rest of the cast smell like? Nadia: Les Larmes Sacree Du Thebes by Baccarat Asra: Lord of Misrule Lush Shower Cream Julian: Leather seats in a rental car Portia: Cocoa butter and laundry soap Lucio: Fireball, Axe body spray & ass Muriel: myrrh

What board game would The Arcana gang be? Nadia: Clue Asra: Twister Julian: Sorry! Portia: Mouse Trap Lucio: Monopoly Muriel: Guess Who

Who do all the cast main in over watch? Nadia: Ana Asra: Sombra Julian: Reaper Portia: Zarya Muriel: Bastion Lucio: Genji

If everyone participated in a Winter Olympic sport, which one would they be in? Nadia: figure skate (singles) Asra: snowboarding Julian: alpine ski Portia: freestyle ski Muriel: luge Lucio: ice hockey

Main casts Starbucks orders? Julian: Black coffee and he flirts with the barista until it’s ready. Nadia: London Fog Latte. She comes in at exactly 8 every morning. Asra: Matcha latte unless there’s a new radioactive-looking Frappuccino flavor and then he gets that. Muriel: Waiting outside in the car, asks Asra to get him a water. Asra comes back with a hot chocolate and a cake pop. Muriel grumbles but accepts them every time. Lucio: Salted Caramel Mocha extra whip extra sprinkles nonfat no foam soy upside down actually coconut milk instead and then he yells at you if you get it wrong. Portia: Pink Drink and all the baristas get excited when she walks in because they love her and she always tips.

The cast as Kanye songs Nadia: Power Lucio: No Church in the Wild Asra: Love Lockdown Julian: Heartless Portia: Paranoid Muriel: Coldest Winter

Which characters would be in the fire, water, earth, and air nations? Slightly different from what you asked, but: Asra - waterbender Nadia - airbender Julian & Portia - non-benders Muriel - Earthbender Lucio - Firebender

What kind of parents are the cast at their child’s soccer game? Nadia: standing on the sidelines in sunglasses and heels biting her thumbnail and watching every move on the field because she doesnt trust the ref Asra: cheers whenever anything happens, takes as many kids as can fit in the car out for ice cream but doesn’t check with the parents Julian: chats up the other parents relentlessly and isn’t watching when his kid gets hit in the face with the ball Portia: “cmon cmon cmon cmon cmon cmon cmon AW WHAT WAS THAT” Muriel: watching from the parking lot inside the car Lucio: yelling on the phone the whole time, spills all 24 oz of his salted caramel mocha on the bench and doesn’t do anything about it

Which Disney movie is the favorite of each of the cast? Nadia: Fantasia 2000 Asra: The Emperor’s New Groove Julian: Muppet Treasure Island Portia: Muppet Treasure Island Muriel: The Fox and the Hound Lucio: Cinderella 2: Dreams Come True

what kind of youtube channel would each character have (letsplay, cooking, craft, etc)? Asra: very unstructured mostly-cooking channel that also features videos of him just eating weird things, and videos of Faust existing and being cute Nadia: beauty guru with very polished high-end editing Julian: doesn’t know how to use youtube but Portia made an account for him and uploads her shaky/blurry phone videos of his jazz performances Portia: likes and comments on all of Nadia’s videos while occasionally posting cute cat vids Muriel: does not have an internet connection Lucio: extremely loud letsplayer, mostly FPS

What would the cast be as animal crossing villagers? Muriel: Cranky Bear Julian: Smug Eagle Portia: Uchi Cat Nadia: Snooty Ostrich Asra: Lazy Wolf Lucio: Jock Goat

What Fire Emblem Fates' classes would each character be? Asra - Diviner Nadia - Priestess Julian - Adventurer Portia - Maid Muriel - Wolfskin Lucio - Berserker

if the arcana cast were naruto characters, which ones would they be Portia: Naruto Muriel: Gaara Lucio: Orochimaru Julian: Itachi Asra: Kakashi Nadia: Fancy Shikamaru

If the characters of arcana watched rupaul's drag race who would be their faves? Nadia: bebe, raja, peppermint Asra: yara, aja, adore Julian: nina bo’nina, sasha, raven Portia: chichi, bob, ginger Lucio: willam, kimora, mimi imfurst Muriel: Latrice Royale

WHAT ARE THE CHARAS PREFERRED FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM? Nadia: Lavender Lemon Asra: Rainbow Sorbet Julian: Pistachio Portia: Cookie Dough Muriel: Rocky Road Lucio: Red Velvet

Please please arcana cast as mcr songs Lucio: It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish Julian: Thank You For The Venom Asra: Welcome To The Black Parade Muriel: House of Wolves Nadia: You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison Portia: Give Em Hell Kid

What are the characters going to be for Halloween? Asra - glow-in-the-dark mermaid Nadia - [elegant ballgown interpretation of] a swan Julian - tortured vampire/werewolf hybrid Muriel - sheet ghost Portia - ninja turtle Lucio - slutty angel Faust - a very long hot dog

If you had to assign the characters from the Arcana to characters from Labyrinth who would they be? Nadia: Jareth Asra: Sara Julian: Sir Didymus Portia: Hoggle Muriel: Ludo Lucio: The Chilly Down birds

What's each character's favourite fruits? Nadia: Concord Grape Asra: Blue Raspberry Julian: Fig Portia: Banana Muriel: Lemon Lucio: Pomegranate

what's everyone's favorite season? Asra - spring Nadia - summer Julian - autumn Muriel - winter Portia - spring Lucio - summer

Who would the Arcana cast be in a cliche Noir Film? Nadia: boss with kinetic ball bearing desk ornament and brandy in the drawer Asra: first love turned old flame that you run into halfway around the world Julian: haggard scientist with an unbuttoned shirt scribbling on the walls Portia: wisecracking secretary who takes a bus a train and a ferry to work Muriel: ominous farmer that lets people use the phone after a car breaks down Lucio: raging starlet shattering a vase after being blacklisted by every studio

The Arcana cast as Michael Jackson songs? Nadia: Man in the Mirror Asra: You Are Not Alone Julian: Smooth Criminal Portia: Will You Be There Muriel: Ben Lucio: Bad

What would each character be in cats? This probably wasn’t supposed to be Cats the musical but if you think i’m gonna pass this up Nadia: None they’re all awful/ Munkustrap Asra: Mister Mistoffelees Julian: Macavity Portia: Jennyanydots Lucio: Rum Tum Tugger Muriel: Grizabella

what would their favorite emojis be? Asra: 🌚 Nadia: 🍷 Julian: 🎷 Portia: 👀 Muriel: 👁 Lucio: 💃💸😏👑

What panic at the disco songs describe each character best? Julian: Death of a Bachelor Asra: I Write Sins Not Tragedies Portia: She’s a Handsome Woman Nadia: Northern Downpour Lucio: Victorious Muriel: From a Mountain in the Middle of the Cabins

What stereotypes for a super cliché highschool do the characters fall into? Nadia: Valedictorian who has been doing independent study and hasn’t set foot in the building for the past two years Asra: Shows up late every class with loud ass Sunchips, does homework in glow in the dark gel pen Julian: Eats lunch with his teacher so they can keep talking about mitochondria Portia: Gets really hype about dances, always ends up fighting at dances Muriel: Puts away all the folding chairs that everyone left behind Lucio: Gets on the intercom to talk shit about the teacher who gave him a D+ on his plagiarized essay

What sports would the characters play? And would they be any good at those sports? Muriel: Any solitary sport. He likes track and shotput. Nadia: Swimming. She isn’t on a team, she just likes the water. Portia: Wrestling. She’s got a few championship belts. Julian: Grandma Devorak forced him to take One Sport in high school, and he chose long-distance running. Asra: Beach volleyball and snowboarding. He’s just there to have a good time. Lucio: Ice hockey, but he spends it mostly punching other players.

what dragons from books/movies/games match each character best, would you say? As for dragons, one of our writers plays Flight Rising obsessively so here’s every character as a Flight Rising breed. Asra: Fae Nadia: Imperial Lucio: Wildclaw Muriel: Guardian Julian: Skydancer Portia: Snapper

What is each character most likely to do with the mc when they're feeling 'unusually affectionate'? Nadia: feed them champagne grapes and engage them in conversation so she can watch them try to talk with their mouth full Asra: stare at them and stop acknowledging anyone or anything else Julian: preen and spoil them to the point of being a public embarrassment Portia: constant cuddly contact Muriel: follow them at a respectable distance Lucio: belt out an aria at the sight of them

What's everyone favorite manga if they read any in this world? Nadia: Rose of Versailles Asra: Yugioh Julian: Blackjack Portia: Ranma ½ Muriel: Hunter x Hunter Lucio: Berserk

how much does faust like all the characters? like, who does she like the most/least? does she like the main character at all? Faust adores the main character almost as much as she loves Asra. But if she had to choose from the rest: Most good smelling: Nadia Most fun to squeeze: Julian Most too big to eat: Muriel Most hard to hide from: Portia Most attackable: Lucio

what kind of drunk is everybody? Nadia: capable, professional drunk on the move. Never in the same room twice Asra: touchy-feely but won’t leave the couch, still somehow manages to catch on fire Julian: morphs into The Storyteller, everyone in earshot ends up caught in a dramatic reenactment of his life story waiting for him to take a breath but he never does Portia: makes 6 new friends in the bathroom line Muriel: moody, talks to no one, keeps taking everybody’s empty bottles out to the trash Lucio: the loudest, the drama, the legend, the first to dip out when the cops show up

Of the Characters: Who tells a dirty joke? Who doesn't understand it? Who is disgusted? Who laughs? Who hides a smile? Who gets annoyed? Lucio: tells a dirty joke Muriel: doesn’t understand it Julian: is disgusted Asra: laughs Portia: hides a smile Nadia: gets annoyed

What are the characters usual reactions when subbing their toes? Nadia: It Does Not Happen Asra: hops it off Julian: hissing, closes his eyes while he savors the pain Portia: (string of curses) “ok………. i’m fine” Muriel: doesn’t notice because his toes are too far away Lucio: shrieks, revenge kicks the wall, shrieks harder

what you think everyones deadly sin would be? the deadly cliches: Nadia - Pride Asra - Lust Julian - Wrath Portia - Envy Muriel - Sloth Lucio - Gluttony

On a scale of good to bad, who sings karaoke? Nadia has a silky voice with impeccable vibrato. But she only sings karaoke alone in the bath. Asra has an airy, intimate voice. He’s the worst at karaoke because he doesn’t even get up off the couch. Julian has very limited singing ability, but he will talk sing the whole way through if he has to. He’s great at duets, somehow. Portia has a throaty, powerful voice. She brings the house down with Heart and Bonnie Tyler ballads, even if she squeaks on the high notes. Muriel has a gravelly grumble that he is convinced is useless for singing and if you hand him the microphone he’ll drop it and go stand in the corner. Lucio has an overdone musical theater voice but he is tone deaf. He will shout out the high notes and power through the rest and if you try to skip his song there will be hell to pay

which social media platform which each character Prefer™ ? Asra - twitter (RTs a lot of memes and shitposts, posts incomprehensible dril-like tweets at 3am) Nadia - instagram (flawless makeup and aesthetic™) Julian - yahoo answers Portia - snapchat Muriel - what is social media Lucio - LinkedIn (you will NEVER stop getting email notifications from him)

what dnd classes would the cast be (like mage, assassin, cleric etc)? Nadia: Paladin Asra: Warlock Julian: Rogue Portia: Bard Muriel: Fighter Lucio: Barbarian

what would each characters spice girl name be Asra: Mystery Spice Nadia: Boss Spice Julian: Suffering Spice Portia: Sassy Spice Muriel: Surly Spice Lucio: Spicy Spice

how complicated is each character's personal hygiene routine? Nadia’s personal hygiene routine: an exact science and takes a practiced team of servants to execute. Julian’s personal hygiene routine: splashing his face 5-7 times and gargling with his famous mint vodka peroxide formula Asra’s personal hygiene routine: sticking his head underwater until he’s awake Portia’s personal hygiene routine: putting her hair in a bun and scrubbing herself with a cloth and bucket down by the frog pond Lucio’s personal hygiene routine: milk and caviar bath every 13 hours Muriel’s personal hygiene routine: standing in the pouring rain

What's everyone's favorite alcoholic drinks? Asra - St Germain, tequila, blue curaçao, lime juice, hibiscus syrup (serve in a champagne flute or martini glass, garnished with a wildflower or tiny umbrella) Julian - whiskey, Kahlua, Grand Marnier, lemon juice (serve in a highball glass) Nadia - Chambord, white wine, seltzer (serve in a wine glass, chilled or on the rocks) Portia - beer & apple cider with a shot of rum (serve in a lowball glass) Muriel - Baileys, butterscotch schnapps, hot chocolate (serve warm, in your coziest mug) Lucio - Jägermeister & Goldschläger topped with overproof rum (serve as a flaming shot)

what would be each of the characters' favorite genre of music? Asra: Bossa Nova and EDM Nadia: Obscure Opera and Calming beach sounds Julian: 20 minute tracks of Quality Jazz Portia: Reggae and dad rock Muriel: New wave and white noise Lucio: Top 40 and Dark Funky Disco

who would the arcana characters be from mean girls?? Asra: the guy who asked what day it was Nadia: cady Julian: gretchen weiners Portia: janis Lucio: regina george Muriel: damian

Which Hogwarts house would each of the Main Cast belong in? Asra & Julian - Ravenclaw Nadia - Slytherin Portia & Muriel - Hufflepuff Lucio - Gryffindor

What would the characters modern!au job/career of choice be? Lucio owns and manages several nightclubs and has a trashy daytime talk show Asra does really low-budget magic shows at kids’ birthday parties by day, and DJs at one of Lucio’s clubs at night Nadia is the city mayor, an international chess champion, and concert pianist Portia works at Home Depot (used to be a waitress at Red Lobster but the tips were terrible), but she wants to be a zookeeper Julian is a doctor at an underfunded hospital with lots of drama Muriel lives off the grid in a broken-down van in the woods

Just due to mild curiosity what would be the casts favorite musicals? Asra - Legally Blonde: The Musical Nadia - Chicago Julian - Les Mis Muriel - Wicked Portia - Cats! Lucio - Phantom of the Opera / Kinky Boots (it’s a tie)

what cryptid is every character Asra = Chupacabra Julian = Mothman Nadia = Nessie Portia = Loveland Frog Muriel = Bigfoot Lucio = Jersey Devil

how would the game's characters celebrate the MC's birthday with them?? Asra would take them on a long journey without telling them where they were going (but would keep them entertained with riddles) to a scenic oasis, where he would pretend to drown so MC has to dive into the water and at the bottom is a magic flute that can summon a swarm of bees (their favorite!) Nadia would throw a tastefully brief festival in their honor. MC would be lavished with pampering (by professional pamperers) from dawn to dusk and when the clock struck midnight, they would be presented with seven bejeweled eagles (one for every day of the week) Julian would meet them for dinner in a shady tavern, bring them heaping plates of food and offer unsolicited advice for the coming year. About halfway through the meal he would have to scramble out the back door because law enforcement arrived on the scene but he’d put it an order in the kitchen to bring them something for dessert Lucio would declare the day a holiday and call it Day of the Beloved One of Lucio. They would have to sit uncomfortably still while a master artiste painted their portrait and a mile-long line of peasants laid gifts at their feet. Muriel doesn’t celebrate birthdays because time is a human construct Portia would throw a big loud party with a barbecue :D

Since it is soon, what would the characters do for Valentines day with us (the MC)? Nadia would take you on an elegant river cruise stocked with 130 varieties of tiny cake and a private crooner hired to serenade you but she would end up throwing them overboard for not hitting the high notes Asra would take you to the mall and splurge on all the stuff you both can’t afford but wait way too long to get lunch so you get into a fight and he proposes in the food court Julian would show up on the 15th after with all the candy he scored at 75% off, pretend it was on purpose that he got the day wrong, and wake you up at 3 am to come clean because the guilt was eating him alive Muriel would light some scented candles, cook up a sensual meal and throw a bearskin rug in front of the fireplace for you to enjoy alone while he escapes into the woods Portia would pack a picnic of chicken and tortilla chips, take you to the beach where you could splash around until the sun goes down and lull you to sleep on the sandy blanket with her acoustic guitar Lucio would have servants fill your room with floor to ceiling flowers while you sleep and wait impatiently for you to wake up like

Would you roommate with any of the characters? it’s hard to decide, so here are some pros and cons Asra - pro: never home / con: leaves dishes in the sink for weeks Nadia - pro: your home will be spotless / con: it’s spotless because she orders you to clean it for her Julian - pro: medical professional / con: half of your apartment is now this

rate the characters on how #extra they are Muriel: 4/10 Lucio: 13/10 Everyone else: 10/10

Which character could be best described as "tender"?? "Spicy"??? “tender”: Muriel “tender”/“Spicy”: Asra, Portia “Spicy”/”tender”: Julian, Nadia “Spicy”: Lucio

what the favorite Pokemon of all the characters were. Asra - Ekans, Delphox, Espeon Nadia - Noctowl, Gardevoir, Musharna Julian - Absol, Bisharp, Murkrow Portia - Chansey, Politoed, Hoothoot Muriel - Pangoro, Aggron, Wigglytuff Lucio - Houndoom, Pyroar, Skarmory

#what I spend my life on #the arcana #the arcana game #asra alnazar #nadia satrinava #julian devorak #muriel #portia devorak #count lucio #asra the magician #the arcana muriel #ask arcana #I just like to organize information too much

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atsumusc0ck · 4 years ago

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Trick Or Treat! (1)

you got: Treat!

Haikyu characters as some of my favorite Halloween songs

Part one! Sorry I had to split it into two!

listen along! <—a/n playlist in order from part one to part two! I just realized some folks didn’t notice it was hyper linked sorry!

Hinata- “Ghost Town” by The Specials

imagine timeskip Hinata vibing to this while biking for deliveries? Stretching on the beach?

Kageyama- “The Boogie Monster” by Gnarls Barkley

Tanaka- “Shia LaBeouf Live” by Rob Cantor

chaotic

Noya- “Spooky Guy” by Danny Gonzales

also chaotic

Daichi- “Bad Moon Rising” - Creedence Clearwater Revival

Asahi- “The Witch Queen of New Orleans” by Redbone

Sugawara- “Spooky Scary Skeletons” by Andrew Gold

He sings it constantly from october first to october 31st. He pisses everyone off with it and he just gives a cheeky smile

Yachi-“Ghost Duet” by Louie Zong

she likes to listen to it while she studies

Kiyoko- “Peek-a-boo” By Siouxsie and The Banshees

Yamaguchi- “All Hail Dracula” by Someone Still Loves Boris Yeltsin

makes him think of Tsuki :)

Tsukishima- “Psycho Killer” by Talking Heads

Oikawa- “She Wolf” by Shakira

Iwa-chan found him dancing to this alone in his bedroom.

Iwaizumi- “Dark Red” by Steve Lacy

I heavily headcanon Iwa to listen to cool music

Matsukawa- “Human Fly” by The Cramps

Hanamaki- “Creepy” by The Mission Creeps

Kyotani-“Mind Playing Tricks On Me” by Geto Boys

Kuroo- “Weird Science” by Oingo Boingo

goes absolutely hog wild at a party when this plays. It may or may not be his ringtone for all of October.

Kenma- “Fresh Blood” by Eels

Listening to this while editing a youtube video of him playing a spoopy game?

Lev- “Devil In My Car” by The B-52’s

Lev dancing dramatically and singing along to this song? Yes please.

Yaku- “Pet Sematary” by Ramones

it makes him feel cool. He made all of Nekoma watch the movie when he found out none of them had seen it.

Inuoka- “Somebody’s Watching Me” - Rockwell

He likes to think of spikers he’s blocked when he listens to this

Yamamato- “Men in Black” by Will Smith

Part Two - Shiratorizawa, Inarizaki, Misc.

#haikyū!!#haikyu headcanons #haikyu halloween #t.o.t.🎃#nekoma #tobio kagayama #hinata #daichi #sugawara kōshi #tanaka #kuroo #yaku #oikawa #iwaizumi

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yinyanchan · 4 years ago

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Been working longer hours. Things have been chaotic since being back. Apparently when I was out sick my company was on the market and was sold. Lots of drama while I sit quietly at my desk at home. Thankfully my job will remain, but until the smoke has cleared from this chaos, I will be working mass amounts of overtime. I do get to write some when there is a lull or down period. Things are slowly but surely getting written.

Had to take a step back with Black as Pitch but the chapter plot and dialouge have been written... as well as some steamy bits... not all that needs to be there, but some.

Unfortunate Souls has been tallied, Bartleby the boss bitty won first chapter to be posted. Things that are emotional will take me longer to write as I'm an emotional sponge and apparently a masochist as I love the ideas but man do they hurt to write. Research has gone into this so be mindful of tags and warnings. I will update tags but in case I miss one there will be a heavy warning for each chapter and the specific trigger warnings. (I was really depressed when the characters and their personal stories were originally created, so I do apologize for the darkness of this story and I definitely know it's not for everyone.) I know a lot of people are saying all of them but this is an individual adoption, each bitty needs a lot of tlc and attention. Choose your own adventure, each chapter is dedicated to one specific bitty. Maybe when it's done I might consider and all out adoption spree... but until then please enjoy your souls chosen bitty and with enough love, therapy, and understanding, your new inseparable and very happy partner.

Housemates: has a chapter plot and main dialouge written (first day of school wonder how that goes...)

Gremlins: I'm actually torn about my original ending on this. Everyone who has watched the movie gremlins knows what happens in the end... there is a lot of surprising stuff along the way but... I'm currently bouncing the ending around right now. #savetheboys #originalending

Dire Wolf: chapter has already been written just needs some editing.... a little angst ridden but all good things to come. Plus a POV of rival number 1 Black himself.

I was going for a walk one day: chapter is fully fleshed but in need of some major editing before posting. All danger noodles will make an appearance.

Darling I do: half a chapter is written and I will do better because I love them and Steven is such a sweet bean and I love writing him just as much as Sans.

Zoot Suit Riot: It will be updated. I swear. I wrote a good portion of it then was hit with a bad case of writers block, as I need filler with hinted references for this one part to work for my plot device. Everything else is planned but this one tiny little thing is the hold up. Sorry for that everyone.

Undercave: this was a big hit and I notice now that I definitely wrote that when I was sick and I posted it thinking it was edited... it's not. I think I even goofed up and had the name Sans in there where it shouldn't be. Anyways chapter 2 is in the works. Shout out to Tyler for getting the Ah-Taa reference. If you never seen the South Park episode 'Bebe's boobs destroy Society' this along with the SpongeBob meme is everything I imagined when thinking about this. Prepare yourselves for some skeletons acting like wild ape men.... soon to be jealous wild ape men. Let the miscommunication hilarity ensue.

Now for something completely random! In my recovery days I got to watch trolls 2 on Hulu, as my mind was absolute mush some days and could only handle tv, and one of the songs (trolls just wanna have fun) made me imagine a funny skeleton scene for some of the lyrics (I'd imagine one of our pun filled guys but any skeleton would do):

Lived underground

To get away from the world

Till I had my life changed by a beautiful girl

Just need the guts to tell her that she's the one! (waves hand around inside empty abdominal area during the just need the guts part)

End scene

I've been told that I rewound that scene and snickered like an idiot by my S/O... and it probably (definitely) was (is) true.

I find a lot of humor in small things. Heck my profile picture was of two boxes I had found in a vegetable cooler as is. Untouched and unmoved by me. They both seem to see something concerning and it's blowing the top one's mind. Considering I did write a smut chapter, for a story that has not been posted called Bone-ifide Goods, for sexy times in a cooler Black/Reader... I think their suprised, concerned, and slightly appalled looks are justified.

#story updates #savetheboys #originalending #housemates #blackaspitch #IWGFAW1D #gremlin #undercave #direwolf #zootsuitriot #darlingido #poorunfortunatesouls

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 4 years ago

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Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.63

Lance nearly turned back to Platt twice, and he was pretty sure he would have had Allura not come with him for the day trip home. He was taking Blue home ahead of returning on the weekend. His precious princess curled up in Allura’s lap, after working her way out of her carrier. Filling up at Balmeria, he was relieved to see Rax working rather than Shay. He didn’t want to put Shay in any kind of awkward position with Hunk, nor did he know how to explain his absence to her. Allura was trying her best to keep his spirits up, pointing out various things as they drove, or singing the words wrong to the songs on the radio. Lance nearly felt as nervous as he did the first time he drove out to see the house he’d call home.

Parking in the drive, Matt and Rieva couldn’t help messing with him. He’d barely cut the ignition and climbed out the car before the pair of werewolves were bounding out the house, knocking him down and dragging” him by the hem of his jeans towards the front steps

“Really? Out of every single way you could have greeted me, this was your best idea? You two are lame”

There was more laughter in his tone than he’d intended. Matt and Rieva both letting go of his jeans in favour of body flopping on top of him. The offensive smell of wolf not nearly as offensive when he felt they’d actually missed him

“Oh, no. Lance, I’m afraid I’m going to have to tell Keith your cheating on him. Look at you”

Allura giggled, raising her hand to cover her mouth. Blue taking he opportunity to jump and run away towards the open door. His princess didn’t have time for such “goings on”

“I love how you rush to help”

“Who you end up under is completely up to you”

“You wouldn’t think so. Now, will you two get off? The gravel’s itchy”

Matt and Rieva turned back, Lance covering his eyes

“Guys! Clothes!”

Matt didn’t care

“You know you love it. What’s not to love?”

“Your ugly arse junk forever imprinted in my head?”

“Here how he talks to us?! Blah. Keith can have you if you’re going to be like that”

“He did and he has and he will. Now go get dressed!”

Waiting until Matt and Rieva moved away, Lance uncovered his eyes to find Allura staring down at him

“Need a hand?”

“I wouldn’t say no. Remind me again why I decided coming back was a good idea?”

“I’m still not quite sure myself. They seemed to have missed you”

Allura helped him up, Lance then brushing the loose gravel off his body

“They’re a menace! Matt needs to be neutered! I hope you hear that!”

“Oh dear. I don’t think he’ll take that well”

From inside came a yelled “Fuck you!”

“He didn’t. He’s just lucky I haven’t taken his mangy arse to the vet yet. Then again, he’d probably like a thermometer stuck up his arse”

Looping her arm through his, Allura was still giggly

“I’ve never neutered a werewolf before. Coran may have. Perhaps we should enquire when we return?”

“Yep. And I want tracking collars for the pair of them. I’m surprised they didn’t graffiti the town sign and edit the population to say “plus one vampire”. He’s as bad as Pidge. No. He’s worse. He should know better by now”

“You know, I’m sure we could change that sign if you really wanted?”

“I think I’ve caused the town enough dramas. Let’s head in. I bet my poor house needs therapy. Is that a thing? A house needing therapy?”

“I don’t see why not? Though that would mean discussing what you and Keith have been up to here”

Lance pulled a face

“Why do you do this to me? You know I miss him as it is”

“I do. He really is very fond of you. I’m sure you moving back here will leave him missing you even more”

“You know we talked about it. I’m not hunter material”

“I don’t know. I think you’d make an excellent hunter. You’re very perceptive and very kind”

“If you ask Keith, I’m kind of an idiot”

“Yes, well... You do have your moments”

Lance gaped at Allura, Allura giggling again. Sighing dramatically, he started leading her towards the house. Why did everyone he knew have to be so weird? And why was if after all the years that he finally not keeping his walls so high was giving him everything he ever needed? Maybe because now he had a group of friends that were all weird like him, he was starting to see that maybe... just maybe... he liked himself more than he thought... and maybe he liked company more than he thought too.

Inside the house wasn’t the mess he’d expected. It smelt heavily of horny wolf, but everything seemed in order as he flopped down on his sofa. It smelt suspiciously clean... Like Rieva and Matt had cleaned it knowing he’d smell more than he was suppose to. Walking into the room, Matt ignored the perfectly open seats in favour of sitting right next to him. Normally he would have headed straight to the kitchen to make tea for Allura, but he had a finite amount of courage to work with. Shoving Matt away from him, Matt laughed

“I know you missed us. Curtis told me all about the talk you had with him”

“Curtis is cursed. It’s rude to use that against him”

Matt shrugged

“A man’s gotta do, what a man’s gotta do”

“And how’s that working out for you?”

“Pretty good”

“Oh, so you have a brilliant plan to make Pidge loves us again?”

Matt groaned, flopping sideways on the sofa

“No. She’s totally holed up. Hunk isn’t even talking to me. I think she’s making boards about us”

Lance flopped against Matt, sighing as he did

“That sounds like her. I miss our gremlin”

“I know. I have no one to play video games with anymore. What’s the point of having all these wolf powers if I can’t cheat in video games”

“What’s the point of being immortal if my second family hates me?”

“I don’t hate you, bro”

“I don’t hate you either”

Very awkwardly they fist bumped before both of them sighed.

Allura stood, hands on her hips, staring down the pair of them

“I’m ashamed of the pair of you right now. Have you tried talking to Pidge?”

“She’s ignoring us”

Matt replied, Lance nodded

“Then make it so she can’t”

Geez. Why hadn’t they thought of that?

“This isn’t a movie. We can’t just show up outside her house with a boom box and win her back”

Matt snorted

“Dude, you’re so fucking old”

“Shut up. You’re nearly as old”

“Oh, says Mister ‘70s over here”

He didn’t ask to be this old. He didn’t even know how he got to be this old. One moment he was 20, stumbling through life. Next moment he was 44, stumbling through life and now figuring out dating

“You got the reference! Dude, you’re her biological brother”

“She told mum to tell me we weren’t talking. Mum said she was worried about our influence on her”

Pidge was fierce . Colleen was ruthless

“Your mother scares me”

“Try being her son“

Allura clapped her hands, drawing attention back to her

“Will you two please get over yourselves. Pidge is a human in possession of information she is ill equipped to deal with. Now, Lance, if Keith were to stop talking to you, how would you reconnect?”

“He’s probably turn into a bat then go bury himself”

He didn’t know, but if Keith stopped talking to him, Matt was most likely right about what would come next

“Pretty much”

Allura sighed at the pair of them

“You’re not helping by joking”

“Matt’s right. I get emotional and then I’m a bat. Keith keeps me grounded. I’ve gotten better at not being a bat”

“Dude. You were so much cooler as a bat”

Lance huffed

“Says you. Keith says too, actually”

“Maybe you could turn into a bat and I could post you to Pidge?”

Now Matt was being ridiculous. They were being ridiculous. Keith suggested going to talk to her instead of relying on Matt, Lance was reaping what he sowed

“And have her experiment on me. No thanks. Allura, I know you want to help, buuuuut maybe we can talk about something else?”

“I’m trying to help”

“I know you are, but Pidge needs space. I’ve told her I’m coming back next week. Why don’t we just hang out today? We can practice hairstyles and do face masks?”

Matt made a a high “ooohing” noise, Lance sitting up, before shoving at him

“Shut up. It’s not like that”

“I didn’t say anything”

“You did. I’ll have you know, I’m going on a mission with Allura”

Matt sat up, expression skeptical

“And what mission is that? To find your balls. Wait, nope, Keith’s got you by them”

He’d rather Keith have them... and that didn’t quite make sense. Matt talking about his balls felt awkward. He wasn’t a smell mutt to be neutered

“I’ll chop yours off. I may or may not have been thinking about this, and having Allura here probably means she’s thinking the same thing and I’m only just putting this together, so thanks for that Allura. Rieva, we have a question for you. Have you ever heard of a vampire named Lotor? Or his family?”

Lance was barely home an hour before driving the four of them back to Platt. Rieva had indeed heard of Lotor, but she’d heard more about Zarkon and Honerva, telling them enough that Lance now knew coming home had been a bad idea, as wherever Lotor went, his mother was sure to have sent someone to watch his every move. Hastily they’d packed, Rieva insisting they weren’t safe in Garrison for the one being. Lance throwing together all his precious belongings, before rounding up Blue who wasn’t impressed at all. Rieva was shaken that Lotor was here, Lance certain there was a more personal reason that she wasn’t telling them. The only thing he could think of was that it somehow related to the death of her biological parents... And if Zarkon and Honerva were involved, he couldn’t fault her for being overly cautious. Matt had messaged Pidge to tell her to stay indoor and stay away from crowds, Lance’s undead heart frozen in fear for her and Hunk, and their families. He’d never wanted them roped into this, and now the whole issue was getting out of control.

Parking where Allura instructed. They entered the bookshop through a side entrance Lance has barely used. Practically sneaking their way through to the elevator to avoid drawing attention to themselves. Rieva didn’t know much about Lotor, not personally, she’d heard the rumours having grown up in Europe. Lotor was the son of a fae gone mad and a vampire who’d been twisted by his ego. Not a great combination for a child during the years of formations of self. Lotor had to know his mother sent someone. Maybe he’d thought he’d slipped them? Or maybe he’d paid them off? Or maybe Honerva wasn’t actually keeping tabs on him. From what Rieva said, she’d been a gifted and amazing scientist, using both magic and science to test human limits... and amazingly okay about sacrificing human pets for her research.

Reaching the reception area beneath ground, a strong weird scent of something unknown hung in the air. Familiar and not. And not completely unwelcoming. The scent making his teeth and nails ache, as suddenly he was falling onto his hands and knees, body screaming at him something he couldn’t decipher. Opening his mouth, nothing came out. Heat flushing through his body as his arms gave out and the world became so much bigger than it had been. Whatever the fuck was happening now, he didn’t like it...

Matt grabbed him by the collar, Lance finding himself pulled to his feet too fast. Covering his mouth to prevent himself from throwing up, he swallowed hard. That’d never happened. 44 years and he’d never felt like he had right then

“Fucking shitty vampire scents. What the hell, dude?”

That was vampire. Sniffing again, his stomach rolled. Submit. God. That’s what that feeling was. His body wanted to submit to something. Heat beginning to boil in his belly... no... not here... not here and not now...

“Matt, let him go. Lance... you’re okay. Allura, I’ll take him to his room. Lance, is there anything I can get you?”

“Curtis...”

Curtis’s name came out pained and strangled. Curtis could handle his bouts of heat... Rieva might have offered to take him to his room, but he wasn’t safe with her. He wasn’t safe because his body wasn’t listening. He didn’t... Grunting as a heat wave slammed into him with enough forced to make his knees buckle, tears came to his eyes. Keith was the one who made him feel like this. Not some random vampire... and Keith didn’t make him feel like he had to get on his hands knees and stick his fucking arse out to be bred like this... well... he did, but not so viciously like his head was behind held down and a heat shoved in every opening

“Okay. Allura call Curtis, then call Keith. We all need to talk, but right now Lance needs his boyfriend”

“Keith and Shiro are out...”

People really needed to stop saying Keith. Horny Lance had little control over all things Lance and what he wanted done to him

“I’m... okay... just... please get Curtis...”

This was mortifying. He was mortified. A single whiff and this happened. Maybe he was off guard? He had to be after what Rieva had and hadn’t said? Honerva was evil. The Blades knew about her and were yet to stop her. If she came here people would start dying at an alarming rate... Oh... god... shoot him now... he could smell horny Matt and dear god... he wanted something in him...

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turkoftheslums · 4 years ago

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Let’s start a chain of sweetness.

5 THINGS YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER.

ONE: He is one snarky guy. Being such a reserved and quiet person irl, I don’t often get to snark or be witty in conversations so it’s really nice to do that with Reno.

TWO: As I’ve mentioned in the past, Reno is a three-dimensional character - he acts like a bad guy but has a conscience hiding deep down that he only shows to Rude. He has feelings and emotions he’s stuffed down as deep as he can and it’s interesting to think what could happen if they just bubbled to the surface.

THREE: Reno is a trained combatant. I’ve gotten into writing combat as of recent and getting to write it with him feels like a blessing. I never got to write combat at all with Noctis, not even in fanfics so writing and choreographing fight scenes feels great. It’ll get put to use one day.

FOUR: The amount of stuff he just has tucked away everywhere - and that’s just on his person. He has things folded up neatly and tucked in pretty much all his pockets. “Why does he not have huge bumps sticking out?” I hear you ask. Tetris logic.

FIVE: For all the violence that’s involved with his job, Reno is a secret sweet bean. He hates showing it but he craves even the tiniest sliver of affection and dislikes being alone unless he really, really needs to be alone. Idk can you tell I’ve been grasping at straws from point 2 onwards?

5 PEOPLE ON HERE YOU LOVE, AND WHY.

Why can I only pick 5?? I love so many D:

ONE: Always at the top of my lists is @rude-at-your-service. He’s my bro and I always love seeing him on my dash. He was the 8th person I followed when I made this blog back in 2015 and I’m super duper glad we’ve reconnected (and he helped keep me sane for part of my train journeys last month). And just for you good sir; jag skulle behöva lite vatten. (Say the thing, I dare you)

TWO: Next up we have Lyri for whomst I shall tag @hautevaux. Lyri is a gem. Lyri is bae. Vaux is bae. I was really shy to approach at first because her writing is just 😲😲 it’s so good and we’ve really clicked since we first started talking and I love it. Also, I promise I’m not ignoring you when you compliment me, my brain just blue screens and doesn’t know what to do.

THREE: @that-turk-laney come back to us, Mia! We miss you! But seriously, I think Mia was one of the first people I followed when I returned back in February and she’s really helped me build Reno up. We really need to get that soft thread going, we really do. Movie night for Reno and Elena, yes please.

FOUR: JAEJAE. I love the good JaeJae over at @cssnei. He got me really into some stuff coughUpUpDownDowncoughDevilMayDrycough and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. Every Wednesday we sit and wait for DaParty to start streaming then type in capitals at each other on Discord while laughing our asses off. I enjoy the fun we have and I hope that doesn’t change when we finally run into each other.

FIVE: Finally, I’ve decided to finish off with @shinrasfirst whom I used to admire from afar. Min is super cool and I spent actual weeks trying to get myself to check them out and follow them because we have a few mutuals and I was like “Hnnnnnn, I’m sure we’d get along but hhhhhhhhh”. Then they followed me first and I was like “!!!! wtf????” so yeah, now we occasionally talk about Kpop and I can’t remember what else we’ve talked about but we’ve talked about other things. (I have Discord if you want it)

5 SONGS EITHER YOU OR YOUR MUSE REGARD AS A ‘GUILTY PLEASURE’ THAT ALWAYS MAKES YOU SMILE.

I’m gonna cheat here and group a bunch of songs together because y’all need to be exposed to my here there and everywhere music taste. (Judge me, I dare you)

ONE: So I’m actually putting 3 songs in here. My mum’s favourite decade has always been the 80′s so I grew up listening to a lot of D.uran D.uran - I still have memories of us in her green car with the cassette player and I’d beg for us to listen to the D.uran D.uran tape (which is merely 10 years older than me!). My favourites have always been Rio, Hungry Like The Wolf, and Save A Prayer. SAP is absolutely my first emo song. (And interestingly enough, I don’t think Reno would listen to DD songs)

TWO: Infinity by Guru Josh. This. Damn. Song. Why is it so bloody difficult to find the specific version I grew up with?? But yeah, the saxophone has stuck with me all these years - and I’m still proud of myself for identifying the first instrument heard as a saxophone. I feel like this song says something about me...

THREE: Courtesy of JaeJae, I am super into DMC. Nero’s theme in 5 is probably my favourite thing in existence and I’m probably going to listen to it on Thursday. Sticking with video game music, let’s add some more here shall we? This remix of Supporting Me used in S.onic F.orces just gets me in the right spot. That goddamn guitar is just *chefs kiss*. Also the theme for Green Hills in the Sonic movie makes me want to sob because I grew up with Sonic the Hedgehog in my life and the movie being really good despite some pacing and editing issues-- I just-- someone come cry with me 😭 THOSE CHORDS (also chucking in Un-gravitify from Riders: Zero Gravity because that series is underrated as hell and I can’t believe Free Riders killed it. Revive Riders, you cowards. Give me my extreme gear back) - I feel like Reno would definitely listen to a lot of video game music (especially from Sonic and DMC)

FOUR: It’s Brit time again: Mr Brightside by The Killers- ahem, sorry, the anthem for the UK. Cheesy Brit songs? Yes, please. 5, 6, 7, 8 by Steps was my childhood - I still know the steps to it ;¬¬, I’m Too Sexy by Right Said Fred is an absolute must and you know Reno listens to this even if it’s not particularly to his taste - it just fascinates him, THIS SONG - I love it so much and I’ve convinced myself I can mimic it almost perfectly, my mum probably sensed something was up years ago considering my obsession with Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. Bands like Busted and McFly with songs like Glad I Crashed The Wedding and Obviously, as well as VengaBoys with We Like To Party are joint guilty pleasures.

FIVE: To flip to a whole other spectrum, both Reno and I are fond of rock and metal and you will likely find one of us mouthing along and bopping our heads to songs like Hero by Skillet, Bodies by Drowning Pool (I have to resist the urge to scream along every time), It Has Begun by STARSET, and Another Way Out by Hollywood Undead. It only just clicked with me in recent months that I did in fact have an emo phase (if a little low-key) and it was devoid of P!atD and MCR which is a crime. But songs like this are absolutely guilty pleasures for both myself and Reno.

Tagging: Everyone tagged above, as many of my Aerith/Aeris mutuals as I remember: @roseusuitta, @cultivatxr, @pulchralilium, @floralcetra, @flowergirlgillionaire, @wallflowergainsborough, @churchflower, @thememcry, @angetoile, and YOU (should you wish to do it)!

Tagged by: @madamdirectcr

#OoC #Positivity #long post

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romerojd · 5 years ago

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Dan Wolfe Slapmagazine Interview

would you change something if you had more time/money/material???(in real to reel) I would've liked a little more time so that everyone's parts could've been a little longer. I also wish the production copies had the same music as the original edit. both time & music are usually the biggest constraints on finishing a skate video, so I always kind of expect it.

what's most difficult? photography or videography they're just different. setup time for videography is much quicker, unless you're using a generator/lights, but you can't really use anything but a make with video. photography definitely takes more technical know-how... think how many more video goons there are as opposed to photo goons. a VX2000 with a death lens makes any kook an 'accomplished filmer'.

Where the hell is Sergei Trudonowski? last I heard, he's living in nyc working at a restaurant, but that was a while ago.

How long did it take you to film Eastern Exposure 3? How was it filming Ricky Oyola for that part? about 2 years. it was fun filming rick, he's a good skater. I kept in shape keeping up with him that's for sure.

Can you give up & coming filmers/photographers any advice on how to break it into the big leagues? do it cause you want to, not for notoriety. get your skills down with your friends on your own time, not by littering the hip at a contest or demo with all the other goofs.

Out of all the videos you've filmed which was the most memorable? hard to say, maybe element world tour since I'd been friends with most of the guys for a while, and we traveled so much.

Out of all the skaters you've filmed who was the easiest to work with? anyone's easy when they're skating all the time. especially bam, reese, tim o'c, donny, dennis busenitz and tony trujillo. overall, maybe koston, but I haven't filmed him that much.

do you feel that the explosion of skating and the demand for it (media-wise) has led photographers to get a bit more competitive for shots? competitive? maybe just annoying

why did you decide to film ee3 in black and white? aesthetically, it's one of my favorite videos ever. actually, it was 'filmed' in color. I made it black & white while editing, because I wasn't using a computer back then for editing, just two vcr's, and the colors started bleeding really bad with each generation of editing.

what happened? after EE3, which is a serious amazing video (its the only video that REALLY makes you want to go out and skate) you kinda dissapeared. now the big playas are Ty and Fred. supfwifthat? I made the mistake of becoming a team manager and working for a skate company, which crammed a lot of nonsense in my brain besides making videos.

can we expect another eastern exposure? probably not, since I've lived on the west coast for over 5 years now.

Did you ever have problems filming any skaters due to personalities? wanna say who? when you work for a company, you're expected to film all their riders without bias, but there's always a kook or two.

favorite filmer (other that yourself of course)?

sturt back in the day. ty now.

If someone can't afford to throw down on a 3 chip straight away what camera formats would you suggest? whatever sony DV you can find in your price range.

what's your favorite video that someone else has done? video days

what is your favorite photo that you have shot? switch ollie of tim o'connor for an old vita ad.

last book you read? Last album you listened to? And...what do you like to do in your off time?

last book... the language of new media by lev manovich. last album... my whole music collection is on my G4 in iTunes... it'll shuffle for 18 days before repeating a song... I'm a nerd.

Exposure 3 did you have any idea it was gonna be such a ground breaking video?

I don't consider it 'groundbreaking'. I think people were just psyched on the energy the skaters in it had.

Have there ever been any tricks/lines/skaters that you were disgusted with, based on either their personality or skating? of course, but if you can't say anything nice... they're on the cutting room floor anyway.

what other photographers work do you admire? atiba, humphries, morford, o'meally

what's your favorite town for filming?(ny or sf?)

probably sf, but I haven't filmed in ny too much. must be tons of unexposed stuff there

Got any crazy stories from filming any of the Eastern Exposure vids? reese's entire part in EE3 was filmed in three weekends.

Do you think Fisheye filming distorts the reality of the trick being performed? sometimes, but no skater seems to mind when you make his trick look bigger/better than it was.

what makes a good video for u? people with good styles, a good variety of music, clean filming and editing.

Why are French Fred videos so boring? you tell me. I don't think they are.

Do you think pink is pretty? I have a pink crailtap shirt, but I don't say the word pretty too often.

have you already "been there" and "done that"? sometimes I think that, but then I realize I just need to find a new idea to keep it fresh.

What are your 3 favorite movies? (not necessarily skate vids)? requiem for a dream, de constructing harry, most chris farley movies

dan,in your opinion what makes a video exciting and inspirational.editing or angels.flashy tricks or insane jumps.big name pros or underrated AM.music that flows or rocks? see #25

what are your favorite wheels? hard or soft? big soft wheels on my filming board. hard 54's on my regular board

#skateboarding #Dan Wolfe #interview

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dukeofriven · 6 years ago

Photo

[Note: this post originally appeared in this thread. Owning to Tumblr’s inability to update reblogs with edits because it is a hellsite programmed by a secretive cell of former Stasi operatives to avenge the fall of East Germany, it has thus been re-edited and reformatted here for your reading pleasure.] JK Rowling’s wizards are the most useless, lazy, incapable dumbfucks in the history of fiction. The average Muggle? You take away their technology and they would be able to complete the basic tasks of feeding and clothing themselves without shitting on the floor. If a wizard ever lost their magic in Harry Potter, though, they would die. They’d be dead in three days. They’re garbage and I hate that I’ve come to hate Harry Potter - a series I once loved - because an author inexplicably hailed for her world-building is daily revealed to be appallingly bad at it. I realize this is a really dumb thing to be this angry about but I’ve been told for years what a great world-builder J.K. Rowling is, and that was not even true when the books were coming out. The Time Turner ruined all of Harry Potter forever, not because it offers easy time travel you can hold in your hand (although it does), not because you ask ‘why don’t they just use the time turner’ with every subsequent scenario forever (although you do), but because it was an enormous, flashing red light warning everyone that the series was going to attempt to make the transition from Fairy Tale Logic to Serious Fiction logic and fail. Badly. Really, really badly. I still think Harry Potter & The Philosopher’s Stone is an almost perfect book: a distillation of decades of boarding school genre fiction combined with magic, friendship, and wonder. It is a book that owes as much to Enid Blyton and L.M. Boston as it does to C.S. Lewis or T.H. White and other authors with two first initials. Its sense of place is magisterial, from the frumpy, soul-crushing suburban sadness of Privet Drive to the ephemeral curio-shop wonderland of Diagon Alley to Hogwarts itself, a bastion of astonishment, homeliness, and delight. What it isn’t is the sort of framework on which you can support the horror that is the torture and murder of Charity Burbage in front of her colleague Severus Snape, who could not rescue her because he could not break his deep cover as a spy against Wizard Hitler 2. Long-running series can experience changes of tone and complexity. This is neither something laudable nor worth reviling; it’s a neutral phenomenon. Sometimes series do it well: Susan Cooper’s The Dark Is Rising and Terry Pratchett’s Discworld are both series that by-and-large end with books focused on far more complex issues than their earlier entries. TV series do this too: contrast the early episodes of Steven Universe or Adventure Time with episodes from later seasons. With Adventure Time, for example, trying jumping from the pilot to Remember You and see how hard you get tonal whiplash) Lois McMaster Bujold sublime space opera The Vorkosigan Saga doesn’t just change tones but also genre: space adventure, murder mystery, political thriller, goofy regency romance, comedy of errors, heist movie, schizoid identity crisis - on and on. The latest entry in the series has almost no plot to speak of, but is instead a musing on age, gender roles, grieving the loss of a lover, and the hope of new life. Some series, however, manage the transition poorly, largely because the initial tone cannot be harmonized with the later tone (Mass Effect jumps immediately to mind). But Harry Potter has more than just a problem of its tone getting darker: its trying to have darker events fit in the same world in which people can walk around with names like ‘Mundungus,’ the Hogwarts school song can be a nonsense poem, and the Philosopher’s Stone was defended with a series of video game puzzles. In a world in which the villain openly tortures somebody to death, the Philosopher’s Stone shouldn’t have any whimisical bullshit about its magical defences: it should have trip mines in the floor and an enchanted statue with a gun, because Voldermort isn’t a guy you confound with drinking potions and flying keys. You should just kill him. The charming fairy world of wonder of HP & The Philosopher’s Stone has room for a love potion. The later books, in which it is revealed that Voldemort was essentially born from rape, is not place where Ron Weasley can hand-out a book to Harry called Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches without seeming like a predator in the making. The cradle that is The Philosopher’s Stone cannot hold a beastly baby like Deathly Hallows any more than Grindlewald pontificating about the superiority of wizards can sit comfortably in a universe in which wizards took until the 18th century to accept the outhouse! Not that fascist ravings are inherently logical; but even non-fascists in Harry Potter never act like wizards are anything other than 100% better than muggles at all times. They can’t, because if the series were ever to do that it would have to acknowledge that the two worlds are different: neither better, just different. Instead - well, as Ron once bitched, magic makes coffee perfect every time, so it’s not clear how muggles stand being alive and don’t just roll-over and die from the hellacious half-life that is living with imperfect coffee. This has nothing to do with irony, a suggestion that ‘oh Grindewald talks a big game about wizardly superiority but wizards didn’t use toilets and cal themselves goofy names like Flumpus MacFludgeon: Rowling is using dramatic ironic to lampshade how wizard supremacy lacks self-awareness. No: this is about a world that is silly being asked to host a genocidal dictator and his crimes. It’s like those tedious ‘grimdark’ AUs that always show up in bad fanfiction by authors attempting to be serious: what if the Sesame Street gang had to deal with ICE, what if Po started haemoraging while hanging-out with Laa-Laa, what if Peppa Pig learned that she was adopted and her real parents were brutally murdered as part of gang war because they were heroin dealers and so on. (The best skewering of this edgelord comedy is still probably either Andrew Hussie’s Muppet Babies/Saw comic or any encounters the Shortpacked staff ever had with the Transformers: Buckets of Blood guy.) In Harry Potter, Rowling built a wonderful little fantasy world that ran happily on the logic of fairy tales and fairy stories, and then decided she was never going to be taken seriously as an author unless she introduced Hitler to the equation. And it never works for her. It’s not like it couldn’t have worked. The Lord of the Rings is famously a very different book from The Hobbit. It did, in fact, introduce Hitler into a little fantasy world but Tolkien made it work by abandoning huge portions of the Hobbit’s tone, style, and structure: he wrote a completely different book. Frodo isn’t scarfing-down Bertie Bott’s Every Flavoured Beans on the slopes of Mount Doom. The moment, say, Cedric Diggory lay dead in Harry’s arms, we needed to never meet Mundungus Fletcher ever again, or Weasley’s Gooftacular Prank Nonsense, or Ron getting Harry a book about love spells. All the very least that needed to go away, at least until the very end, because Rowling is not an author with the skill to keep the silly and the sublime on the same page. That’s fine in and of itself: all artistic people have strengths and weakness, nobody is skilled at every element of creation. J.M. Barrie was very good at writing a book about an eternal child, but a bit crap at writing a biography about his mother. Arthur Sullivan spent his life quietly seething no one wanted to listen to Ivanhoe instead of The Mikado. There’s a reason Jerry Lewis never released The Day the Clown Cried. Virginia Wolfe is a great writer, but that doesn’t mean she would have written a great run on She-Hulk. [Although now that I’ve said it I can’t think of anything I want to read more.] There’s a great bit in the Lord of Rings after the Shire has been scoured of Saruman where the Hobbits essentially open-up their larders and allow people to have fun again; there’s also a nice bit slightly earlier where Great King Aragorn puts on his old Strider clothes just so he can be his D&D character again: when series change tone, unless you’re really good at walking on a knife’s edge, the quieter, gentler, lighter world isn’t gone forever, but it does have to go away for a while: which means its time to tamp-down on the people with silly names and personalities - like Slughorn, who slips into book six like the second-coming of the vain and silly Lockhart, even though that’s the book where Dumbledore dies.

Rowling keeps trying to makes her old tone fit with her new world without having to pull a Tolkien and actually write differently, which produces moment after moment of tonal whiplash in which the latest Potter-related movie literally involves referencing the holocaust but she also drops some fun trivia about wizards shitting on the floor like animals. (You could describe the entirety of the first Fantastic Beasts film as Tonal Whiplash: The Motion Picture. I’d say that’s an essay for another day but I do not want to have to watch that movie again.)

It needs to be said that a primary reason these tone shifts ‘don’t work’ for Harry Potter is that the logic of a fairy tale is different than the logic of a mundane story. The logic of a fairy tale tends to be self contained: it doesn’t have a smart ass running around asking questions like ‘why’ because there is no why; a thing is the way it is because it is the way it is. Fairies steal babies on the third Sunday of every month, and nobody in the story asks ‘well what about in countries that use different calendars, and what about the shift from Julian to the Gregorian calendar that skipped eleven days?’ because such a pedantic question has no substance in a fairy-tale world. The Clever Child might question what the fairies need with babies, but she’s not about to break-down the week-to-week investment metrics on the Fairyland Infant Exchange. It’s not that one cannot critique or bring critical thinking to fairy stories; it’s that in a fairy story you don’t ask how the sewer system works because it’s not pertinent to what the story is trying to convey. It’s being the guy at the book club who is mad nobody wants to discuss his theories on the music of Rush: its not that the theories are bad, it’s that in this time and place they are of limited relevance. Harry Potter, however, does not belong to to the world of fairy stories, but to the legacy of Tolkienesque fantasy - the world of

In The Hobbit nobody would ever ask if Hobbiton had sewers - it’s not important, and if you ask those kind of questions expecting there to be a serious answer of grave import you’re being a twit. Lord of the Rings, though? Not only is it a valid question, but Tolkien probably wrote a paper explaining the etymology of the Westron word for ‘sewer’ and how sewers were first invented by Shítlívær the Noldor as a way of helping the Blessed Isles cope with all the crap that tumbled out of Fëanor’s mouth.

The world of The Hobbit is one you could enter and expect to quickly find yourself on an adventure. The world of The Lord of The Rings is one you could enter, walk-about, and study without anyone ever exepecting you to solve some sort of regionally-disturbing social problem: in short, it wants you to be invested in the existence of its world in a different way than The Hobbit. Even then, although The Lord of the Rings is more grounded than The Hobbit, it is not so grounded that it doesn’t leave room for mystery, and questions that refute Wittgenstein’s assertion that all questions must be answerable. Tolkien loved to create complex worlds, but there was stuff he knew wasn’t worth elaborating on. It’s really his fans and authorial heirs who developed the somewhat worrying belief that a good worldbuilder has to have an answer to literally every question or else didn’t think their world through. (This has killed more potentially good books than bad cover art ever has.)

The Lord of the Rings leaves room for The Undiscovered Country. Harry Potter wants too… but can’t. Firstly, Rowling obviously understands the need for what we might call poetic mystery - like the gateway in the somewhat unsubtly name Department of Mysteries - but she also wants you to know how wizards pooped three hundred years ago. You get the feeling she knows exactly how and why that gate works, and what it is, but she withheld the knowledge because she likes mystery’s aesthetic more than she ascribes to any idea that an author might have lacunæ in the knowledge of their own work. That is, she would never put something into her work that she didn’t have an answer for - for her there is no undiscovered country that exists beyond the knowledge of even the author; she is an omniscient deity. Not for her is C.S. Lewis’ insistence that for her characters: All their life in this world and all their adventures had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before. Rowling knows exactly what happens to every one of them from the moment they were born to the moment the rot in the ground and the day-to-day schedules of their lives in heaven. Secondly - and far more of an issue - is that Harry Potter becomes a world that invites you to pick up each part of its structure and think about it, because the author has - with loving care - built that entire world for you to interact with. A place for everything, and everything its place. Except JK Rowling is a lazy thinker who never, ever considers the consequences of anything she says. Nagini is actually an Asian woman cursed to live as a snake, wizards used to magically disappear their shit from wherever they just stood and shat it out, Hermione Granger can have a time travel device to attended a bunch of classes but Harry can’t grab one off a nearby shelf and go back fifteen minutes and save his godfather, and nor a few years later can the Minister for Magic’s protection detail keep them on hand to go back half an hour and tell their past selves ‘Hey Voldemort is about to walk in here and kill y’all thought you ought to know.’ No author can work-out every aspect of every element in their works - that’s impossible, and why ARGs are solved by the internet hivemind in half a day even though they took a far smaller group of minds months to devise. But Rowling is intellectually lazy - she adds the holocaust to her Magic Fun Land without sparing a single moment to think that idea through. She then gets defensive when confronted by the suggestion that her worldbuilding might have been shallow. Hey your American wizard houses seem a bit racist also America doesn’t really use the house system in its schools - and her response was to lash out and not listen. Rowling tried to move Potter from a fairy logic world with its own rules into our world with our rules and our history but she doesn’t know our history very well, or even our rules, so she tells us wizards shat on the floor until the 18th century while the rest of us sit around going ‘but humans have never done that as social groups - even in horrible slums and facility-free prison cells humans create a designated place for taking a shit even if it’s just ‘that corner over there.’ We don’t just drop pants and go whenever!” This is because, as a worldbuilder, J.K. Rowling is actually kind of rubbish.

#Tumblr #J.K. Rowling #Harry Potter #Harry Potter and the philosopher’s stone #wizards #muggles #the wizarding world #Charity Burbage #Severus Snape #Voldemort #shit #time turner #Enid Blyton #L.M. Boston #C.S. Lewis #Hogwarts #long post

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frighthouseofalighthouse · 6 years ago

Note

All weird asks!! They're so good!

Sorry this is a bit late, babe! I wanted to wait til I had the opportunity to answer all these uninterrupted!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs! tbh I drink tea out of coffee mugs because who actually uses teacups? I mean my grandma has tons and I would use them, but the handles are so tiny and I am v clumsy so it scares me.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars!!! I’m too impatient for lollipops and plus they always get coated in saliva which just...drips down my chin since my mouth is already full.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Bubblegum! I love cotton candy but I can only handle a bit at a time tbh. Also I haven’t had bubblegum in almost two years bc of braces and I miss it so much I can’t wait to have it again.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Okay, so even though I’ve always been homeschooled, when I was in elementary school we did this program with a ton of other homeschoolers where you could take actual classes and stuff. My teachers always said I was quiet and focused and studious, and you could always count on me to be lecturing everyone else on the instructions if they hadn’t been paying attention. (does any of that surprise anyone?)

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? GLASS SODA BOTTLES. nothing beats soda that’s been bottled in glass rather than plastic. You ever had orange cream soda from a glass bottle????? SLAPS ASS MY DUDE.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Pastel/boho/preppy/goth, my dude. I have so many sides to my fashion and aesthetic.

7. earbuds or headphones?

EARBUDS BC HEADPHONES NEVER FIT OVER MY EARS RIGHT. BUT EARBUDS WITH SOFT TIPS BECAUSE MY EARS ARE TOO SMALL FOR THE PLASTIC ONES.

8. movies or tv shows?

Tv shows tbh because even though I can binge 4 eps of 45 minutes each per night, they’ll hold my attention a lot more than a movie. It’s weird.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Thunderstorms/petrichor, also natural bogs. PEAT BOG SMELL FUCKING SLAPS.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

None. I liked trampoline time back when we took gymnastics, if that counts. I also liked jump roping and Irish step dancing.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Nothing lmao. I sleep til like noon and then I microwave something for lunch.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

My catchall playlist, Things I Love, my summer playlist, Summer Songs, my Gryffindor playlist, My Queen And Country playlist for writing, and my playlist for The Raven Cycle. (after I post this I’ll edit it and link them)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Keyring, a lanyard would like constantly detract from my outfit if that makes sense???

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Sour Patch Kids or Swedish Fish.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

Between The Grapes Of Wrath, The Great Gatsby, The Handmaid’s Tale, and To Kill A Mockingbird!

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Just fucking sprawled every which way.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

My grey converse if it’s comfortable out, my silver flip flops if it’s hot, and my fur-lined black combat boots if it’s cold.

18. ideal weather?

65-70 degrees, partly sunny, breezy, not humid.

19. sleeping position?

I need to sprawl to fall asleep, but once I’m asleep I curl up into a little ball.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop and notebook ONLY IF I’m sure of myself, which isn’t often. But I do write dense, scribbled paragraphs on sermon note pages if something comes to me during church lmao.

21. obsession from childhood?

The American Revolution, weather, astronomy, and mysteries/ghost stories.

22. role model?

Idk tbh? Lately I’m just trying to define and live up to my own standards?

23. strange habits?

Pulling the collar of my shirt up to my mouth and sucking on it. Also being a perfectionist in my writing. I don’t do messy drafts. It’s all perfect by the time I write it, and I edit/spellcheck as I go.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst (my birthstone), bismuth, opal, and blue goldstone.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Other than nursery rhymes/kid’s songs, it was Light Up The Sky by The Afters, or California Dreamin’ by The Mamas And The Papas.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Find shade/a cool spot and read with a cold drink.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

ALSO READ. And snuggle with thick socks and a cup of tea and play DS games all day.

28. five songs to describe you?

My five faves atm -

I Am Here // Pink

The Pines // Roses and Revolutions

Soldier, Poet, King // The Oh Hellos

Traveler’s Song // Aviators

Hymn // Kesha

29. best way to bond with you?

Share my interests about politics, history, books, true crime, paranormal, tv shows, and also be kind and understanding when I don’t text for long periods bc I don’t feel up to talking.

30. places that you find sacred?

The woods on the hill behind my house. Dense, deeply green, secluded woods. Hedge mazes. Old and crumbling castles. Anywhere beneath a clear sky and a full moon. Your heart when you’ve come to terms with your fears and made peace with yourself. Anyplace with historical significance. Bookstores on an autumn/winter day. Libraries.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

A kickass plaid, bruh. Also my leather jacket - once I lose enough shoulder weight to fit in it again.

32. top five favorite vines?

Fre shavoc ado, the one where the dog eats the butterfly, the Lin-Manuel Miranda one where he’s brainstorming, “what the FUCK kind of weather is this, and the dad and son with the saxophone and the oven door.

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“oh mood”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

“WOW! It’s NatureStone!”

35. average time you fall asleep?

Right now it’s 4-5 am because I suck.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

I Can Haz Cheezburger, My mom used to look at the website with me when I was like 10.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

They both have pros and cons. :/ Duffel bags are easier to carry but suitcases keep stuff from getting broken better.

38. lemonade or tea?

TEAAAAAAAAAAAA

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon meringue pie!!! my stepdad made a really good one the other week.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Nothing, since I was homeschooled. Same weird shit that always happens at home. Our safe word for when I got overwhelmed in math was “quokka” and we’d stop and look at cute quokka pictures.

41. last person you texted?

My gf :)

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Jacket pockets because things are not only hard to fit in girls’ pants pockets, but if you put a chapstick/lipstick in there it starts to melt :(

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

BETWEEN HOODIE AND CARDIGAN. SO VERSATILE. SO COMFY.

44. favorite scent for soap?

Irish Spring soap or the blue Dial bars smells better and cleaner than anything to me.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy. It can take me a bit to get into it, but once I do, I love it. I only do sci-fi if it has rebellion and isn’t heavy on the sci. And superhero movies are great but a lot of the tropes are meh. Fantasy has a lot more versatility if you ask me.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Sweatpants/leggings and a soft, well worn tee.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Parmesan, white cheddar, or Muenster.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Raspberry!

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“do no harm but take no shit.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

A really poorly edited political ad on tv a couple years ago. There was weird jazz playing, flames in the background of an image of the Capitol Building, and then the top of the dome opened and this guy’s face was inside. It is the single funniest ad I have ever seen and I laughed for 10 minutes so hard I was like an inch away from passing out.

51. current stresses?

Passing my driving test next month, getting a job, figuring out if my math skills are okay enough to take the SAT or an equivalent test.

52. favorite font?

Baskerville or Georgia!

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My fingernails are short bc I picked them while reading earlier, my cuticles suck bc I pick at those two, and my pinky is obliterated and scabbed because of when I accidentally sliced through the nail with a razor while shaving the other day. So, not great, but I’m living.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

That kids can be really annoying but also really cute and hilarious if you can get them to calm down. And also that baby fingernails are surprisingly sharp.

55. favorite fairy tale?

The OG Princess and the Frog where it’s implied the prince and “faithful Henry,’ his carriage driver, fall in love and ride off together at the end. JACOB AND WILHELM GRIMM SAID GAY RIGHTS.

56. favorite tradition?

Every December, my mom and I drive around after dark at night and I play Pokemon and we rate everyone’s Christmas decorations based on tackiness.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

So isolated I was as a preteen/early teenager, my self harm, and the internalized anger over my abusive relationship and PTSD.

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Writing, puzzle solving, singing, and calligraphy.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Benvoli-no.” (I recently remembered I used to say that a lot and I need to bring it back)

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Dark, fairy tale anime with a lot of secrets to uncover and some dark woods.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

TV show - “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.” - Doctor Who

Movie - “It’s not about deserve. It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love.” - Wonder Woman

Book - “If you never saw the stars, candles were enough.” - The Dream Thieves, by Maggie Stiefvater

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dean Winchester - Supernatural

Sam Winchester - Supernatural

Jack Kline Winchester - Supernatural

Charlie Bradbury - Supernatural

Gansey - The Raven Cycle

Blue Sargent - The Raven Cycle

Hermione Granger - Harry Potter

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Final Song // MO

Call Home // Heathers

I Am Here // Pink

Babylon // 5 Seconds of Summer

Shake It Off // Taylor Swift

64. favorite website from your childhood?

WEBKINZ AND THE OLD AMERICAN GIRL WEBSITE

65. any permanent scars?

Yes, I have several that remain from self harm, scars all over my left knee from being a clumsy child, and most of all a major scar down the center of my chest from heart surgery when I was a baby.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Rose, lavender, lilac, and dahlia.

67. good luck charms?

Not really???

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Olives, mushrooms, radishes, cottage cheese, and ranch dressing are all foul.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Martin Luther didn’t actually nail his 95 theses to the church door, he just kind of passed them around, which is a lot less dramatic tbh. Also light-up signs were first used in New York City in 1884.

70. left or right handed?

I’m left-handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

I think zebra stripes, leopard print, and houndstooth are super ugly.

72. worst subject?

Math for sure. Even science would be easier if it didn’t involve so much math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Wendy’s fries and chocolate frosty!!!

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

I think a 7, usually. My pain tolerance is pretty high because of a) years of self harm, and b) due to my PTSD my muscles are constantly tense and in pain anyway.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I was 4, and it had been loose but it fell out when I was trying to blow up an inflatable ball.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Fries or roasted potatoes that are charred and crunchy on the bottom. Chips are a close third.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Idk, my grandma’s the one with the green thumb mania lmao. But She keeps a lot of violets and arrowhead plants in the windowsills!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

NEITHER I HATE BOTH COFFEE AND SUSHI IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Never had a school ID, but my temporary license photo is actually pretty good right now!

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

I really like earth tones for myself.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

THEY ARE THE SAME MF THING. Also I call them both, it just depends on what comes out of my mouth haha.

82. pc or console?

PC, I guess, though I don’t really game. I just watch my stepdad game.

83. writing or drawing?

WRITING. I cannot draw to save my life.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts, talk radio is so annoying.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, although I loved both.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology I guess??? Although again, I love both.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

COOKIESSSSS

87. your greatest fear?

Rejection, losing people I love, people secretly hating me. Also drowning, spiders, clowns, and guns.

88. your greatest wish?

To be a semi-successful author and work in a library/museum.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom and my gf.

90. luckiest mistake?

Almost dropping a knife blade first on my foot but it landed between my toes.

91. boxes or bags?

um boxes I guess? I’m really good at fitting things in tetris style.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

FAIRY LIGHTS AND DIM YELLOW LAMPS.

93. nicknames?

Ell, Alexander, Ellie, Little Lion, and Nerd.

94. favorite season?

FALL FALL FALL FALL

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr or Spotify. Two apps I couldn’t live without.

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

About a half dozen. Mine, my mom’s, my stepdad’s, my grandparents’ home number, my grandpa’s, and my grandma’s.

98. favorite historical era?

Both the American Revolutionary period and the Victorian Era (esp in Britain)

THANK YOU LOVE THIS WAS SUPER FUN

#a series of essays anonymously published

1 note · View note

e8luhs · 6 years ago

Text

HERE’S TO LIFE.

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY

TRACKLIST & ANNOTATIONS UNDER THE CUT! (last edited 04.18.19)

I. WALK, DON’T RUN / THE VENTURES

[instrumental]

II. SON OF A GUN / ERIC WILLIAM MORRIS

my favorite comic book, favorite comic book, favorite comic book about a guy whose hand's a hook, guy whose hand's a hook, guy whose hand's a hook and he's got blood on all his shirts, blood on all his shirts, blood on all his shirts cause everything he feels he hurts, things he feels he hurts, everything he hurts

III. ACTION MOVIE HERO BOY / LEMON DEMON

i gotta figure out where mommy keeps the dynamite i'll get some measuring tape so i can time it right i know it's dangerous, i know you're thinking i am a fool but it's the only chance i'll ever get to look so cool

IV. THE SHARK FIGHTER! / THE AQUABATS!

i gots me a knife, a bandanna and a topaz necklace yeah, i'm extremely reckless: i ride an otter like a motorcycle! yeah, i'm not kidding, man! yeah, i'm not kidding, man! i’m not kidding, man! you know i’m just a... shark fighter, toughest man in the sea! shark fighter, with his wavy blond hair flowing so freely

V. MR. REBEL / THE SURFARIS

[instrumental]

VI. KING OF THE BEACH / WAVVES

let the sun burn my eyes let it burn my back at the beach in my dreams but you still...

VII. FEEL IT STILL / PORTUGAL. THE MAN

ooh woo, i'm a rebel just for kicks, now i been feeling it since 1966, now might be over now, but i feel it still

VIII. HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO / THE HIVES

do what i want 'cause i can, and if i don't because i wanna be ignored by the stiff and the bored, because i'm gonna spit and retrieve 'cause i give and receive because i want to gonna get through your head, what the mystery man said because i'm gonna

IX. PIZZA HEROES / LEMON DEMON

when you need a disk of oven baked bliss (we always deliver!) 24-hour pizza pie power (we always deliver!) rain or shine (aaaah!) sleet or snow (aaaah!)

X. KIDS / MGMT

control yourself take only what you need from it a family of trees wanting to be haunted

XI. HOTTO DOGGU / SHAWN WASABI

[instrumental]

XII. WAVEFORMS / DJANGO DJANGO

touch it, break it, shake it, yeah take it apart and break it, yeah try to rearrange it, yeah couldn't recreate it, yeah

XIII. DIVE / COAST MODERN

sunrise over my shoulder, reflected in your eyes untied, we do what we wanna drifting in the wind, don't know where this will end up there's a fire in my head going wild over things we did can't believe it, am i dreaming i just feel like, this ain't real life, whoa

XIV. POPPIN’ A WHEELIE! / THE AQUABATS!

i like long walks on the beach and i like the feel of sand on my feet yeah i like nature just fine from time to time i like those video games and i like most airplanes and trains i like nice weather but there’s something so much better

XV. SECRET AGENT MAN / THE VENTURES

[instrumental]

XVI. BONETROUSLE / TOBY FOX

[instrumental]

XVII. THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY / LEMON DEMON

this is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see and only one will survive, i wonder who it will be this is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

XVIII. WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE / BILLY JOEL

we didn't start the fire it was always burning since the world's been turning we didn't start the fire no we didn't light it but we tried to fight it

XIX. THE THREE OF US / STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO

i will never defend the men who make amends with any enemy’s friends, i will never pretend i will never bow down to another man even when everyone’s saying i’ve sinned, i will never repent

XX. ABRASIVE

[instrumental]

XXI. 10,000 EMERALD POOLS / BORNS

i'll make a living, trying to get away ten thousand fathoms, under a tidal wave it can never pull me away no way

XXII. KISS / PRINCE

ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with i just want your extra time and your kiss

XXIII. SUMMERTIME CLOTHES / ANIMAL COLLECTIVE

it covers my rest with a saccharine sheen kissing the wind through my window screen the restlessness calls us, that i cannot hide so much on my mind that it spills outside

XXIV. SPICY BOYFRIEND / SHAWN WASABI

[instrumental]

XXV. FIRELIGHT / KUBBI

[instrumental]

XXVI. GOLDEN SKANS / KLAXONS

light touched my hands in a dream of golden skans from now on, you can forget all future plans night touched my hands with the turning, golden skans from the night to the light, all plans are golden in your hands

XXVII. HAWAII FIVE-O / THE VENTURES

[instrumental]

XXVIII. WOLF LIKE ME / TV ON THE RADIO

my mind has changed my body's frame, but, God, I like it my heart's aflame my body's strained, but, God, I like it

XXIX. EASY TIGER / PORTUGAL. THE MAN

but it's hard to see clouds when you're 6 feet underground keep building a house then tearing it down

XXX. THE END OF YOU TOO / METRONOMY

[instrumental]

XXXI. MASTERPIECE THEATRE III / MARIANAS TRENCH

i got a new disease in me i got a friend that's losing sleep i take it hard, it's hard to take i'm wide awake i'm wide awake

XXXII. HOW FAR WE’VE COME / MATCHBOX TWENTY

i'm waking up at the start of the end of the world, but its feeling just like every other morning before, now i wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone the cars are moving like a half a mile an hour and i started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?

XXXIII. LOST IT TO TRYING / SON LUX

what will we do now? we've lost it to trying we've lost it to trying

XXXIV. BURN YOUR LIFE DOWN / BLEACHERS

you lay awake in the night, just staring at the ceiling above pulling pieces of it out is such a waste of time keep on fighting to remember that nothing is lost in the end when you burn, burn, burn your life down

XXXV. CONTENT / JOYWAVE

i'm searching for the difference between what content and content can bring maybe they're no different 'cause they look the same maybe i'm just an algorithm with a given name but trying to find the difference

XXXVI. BLOODFLOOD / ALT-J

a wave, an awesome wave that rushes skin and widens in flooded veins breathe in, exhale i’ve poked a nerve; he’ll slap me like a whale

XXXVII. DOUSED / DIIV

now you've gone so far, you really had to get away you knew it in your lifetime running to it acting like you've come so far, the bed you made yourself, and this house, and me, are all falling apart

XXXVIII. LABYRINTH / MIRACLE MUSICAL

in the rear, i can see the beast getting close surrounded by ghosts in a cloud of smoke the smoke reeks of failure, i don't want to fail but all the stairwells lead straight to hell

XXXIX. APOCALYPSE DREAMS / TAME IMPALA

are you too terrified to try your best? just to end up with an educated guess like success like those times you wake up mystified

XL. CONSTANT CONVERSATIONS / PASSION PIT

now you're standing in the kitchen, and you're pouring out my drink well there's a very obvious difference, and it's that one of us can think if there's a bump in the road yeah you'd fix it, but for me i'll just run off the road but tonight you've got me cornered, and i haven't got a place to go

XLI. TONGUES / JOYWAVE

the palms are down, i'm welcomed back to town sometimes i feel like they don't understand me i hear their mouths making foreign sounds sometimes i think they're all just speaking tongues

XLII. KINDA BONKERS / ANIMAL COLLECTIVE

i'm tryna reach out to you yes, i'm talking to you, you're the one in the room we'll share a moment, let's meet we're a fire with heat you didn't know, not me we all start suddenly and get carried so far away

XLIII. DIVINA / TORO Y MOI

[instrumental]

XLIV. ARE YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO BE? / FOSTER THE PEOPLE

with all these things i wait for revelation these things make me want to duck for cover with all these things i wait for revolution these things ask the biggest question to me and it's are you what you want to be... so are you what you want to be?

XLV. GUYS EYES / ANIMAL COLLECTIVE

so i used my mind and i used my hand it was what i want to do i really don't know what to do if my body should want to what i want

XLVI. THE SUBURBS (CONTINUED) / ARCADE FIRE

if i could have it back all the time that we wasted i’d only waste it again

XLVII. TERATOLOGY / THE PHYSICS HOUSE BAND

[instrumental]

XLVIII. WAVES / PORTUGAL. THE MAN

no one cares about the waves at the bottom of the ocean and at the bottom of the ocean it's always blue no one will remember cause nothing lasts forever and everybody's looking for somebody to use

XLIX. A MOMENT OF SILENCE / STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO

so tell me: how long do you think you can go before you lose it all? before they call your bluff and watch you fall? i don't know, but i'd like to think i had control at some point, but i let it go and lost my soul sit tight, but the revolution's years away i'm losing faith and i'm running low on things to say so, i guess i have no choice but to regurgitate the tired anthem of a loser and a hypocrite

L. SUPERMAN / GOLDFINGER

i'm trying to keep the ground on my feet it seems the world is falling down around me the nights are long i'm singing this song to try and make the answers more than maybe

LI. BELIEVE / THE BRAVERY

so give me something to believe 'cause i am living just to breathe and i need something more to keep on breathing for so give me something to believe

LII. IS THIS IT / THE STROKES

is this it... is this it?

LIII. WATCH IT CRASH / TOH KAY

we can't just blame it on our mothers claim everything they did was always wrong and there ain't not turning back when our train is off its track and there's nothing we can do but watch it crash and there ain't no right and wrong when we know it won't be long and there's nothing we can do but watch it crash

LIV. THE MALL AND MISERY / BROKEN BELLS

i know what I know, but nothing will fill the hole so let your mind go (let my mind go) straight down the runway does one want to get more used to, the mall and misery? (the mall and the misery) the dead mouths it costs to be alive

LV. SICKOS / HARLEM SHAKES

if there's a bomb in your hand, just throw it if the ground's too hot, just run this place is filled with sickos! this place is filled with sickos!

LVI. THE GREAT ESCAPE / WE ARE SCIENTISTS

i'm making my escape, making my escape tell myself that everything's in shape everything's in shape, but me how long can we stay, how long can we stay? tell myself that everything is great everything is great, well how am i doing?

LVII. DIAMOND HEAD / THE SURFARIS

[instrumental]

LVIII. SAVE YOURSELF ILL HOLD THEM BACK / MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

we could leave this world, leave it all behind we could steal this car if your folks don't mind we could live forever if you've got the time, oh, oh, oh

LIX. UNREST IN THE HOUSE OF LIGHT / THE PROTOMEN

a time is coming, and i must warn you though it's something that you may not understand, they can't be saved by just one man and I am sorry, because i was wrong and I'd take away the weight his shoulders had to bear, because when he fell i was the only one that cared you need to know, you are not him, his fight's not yours!

LX. WILL DO / TV ON THE RADIO

anytime will do, my love anytime will do, no choice of words will break me from this rule anytime will do, my love anytime will do, what choice of words will take me back to you?

LXI. HUGGIN & KISSIN / BIG BLACK DELTA

pushing and shoving, hugging and kissing all of the time all over again

LXII. TRAINWRECK 1979 / DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979

so now i follow it around the world i can’t keep up the story never ends as long as we have blood and cuts

LXIII. INACTION / WE ARE SCIENTISTS

counting on my relative friends when this keeps coming up again and again if everybody knows how it's gonna end why doesn't someone stop me?

LXIV. AMERICAN HERO / RAINBOW KITTEN SURPRISE

i would do anything to hear you say “there goes an american hero”, darling call the press and tell 'em all "he's got a front page picture face with all of the amenities”

LXV. GHOULS / WE ARE SCIENTISTS

can't help but feel attacked, what's that supposed to mean? i know i won't relax or act like it's no big deal this happens all the time, it's kind of our routine but we all recognize that i'm the problem here

LXVI. VIOLET RAYS / THE SMASHING PUMPKINS

spells fall frail webs catching sail in eternal eternities divine purpose catching free

LXVII. CARRY ME / JOYWAVE

tonight, i think i might explode yeah, nothing's right, nothing's right comfort me until the sun arrives

LXVIII. BAMBI / TOKYO POLICE CLUB

i wanna tell you there's a really good reason why i came down easy, spinning threads to your throne a tiny kingdom at the bottom of the trees where i was always a winner and i was barely alone

LXIX. WETSUIT / THE VACCINES

if at some point we all succumb for goodness sake, let us be young 'cause time gets harder to outrun, and i'm nobody, i'm not done with a cool, cool breeze and dirty knees, i rest on childhood memories we all got old at breakneck speed slow it down, go easy on me

LXX. AFRICA / TOTO

the wild dogs cry out in the night as they grow restless, longing for some solitary company i know that i must do what's right as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like olympus above the serengeti i seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that i've become

LXXI. THE HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN / THE ANIMALS

oh mother, tell your children not to do what i have done spend your lives in sin and misery in the house of the rising sun

LXXII. THE OTHER SIDE / WOODKID

boy i was shaped for the fury now i pay the price of the human race's vice and i was promised the glorious ending of a knight but the crown is out of sight

LXXIII. RIDING THE FOURTH WAVE / STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO

[instrumental]

LXXIV. 4TH DIMENSIONAL TRANSITION / MGMT

i feel your racing heart, my liquid silver arms extended these waves aren't far apart black gold in claw foot tubs, unchanging i am fire, where's my form? whisper crimson, i intrude there's light beneath your eyes new overtones in view endless form, endless time

LXXV. I CAN TALK / TWO DOOR CINEMA CLUB

now i can talk, no one gets off (i know how you like to) now i can talk, no one gets off

LXXVI. ATOMIC MAN / PORTUGAL. THE MAN

after you, i don't know what i believe in after you, hell should be easy after you, i don't know what i believe in after you, hell would be easier

LXXVII. GRAVITYS RAINBOW / KLAXONS

come with me, come with me, we'll travel to infinity come with me, come with me, we'll travel to infinity i'll always be there, oh, oh, my future love i'll always be there for you, my future love

LXXVIII. NECKBRACE / RATATAT

[instrumental]

LXXIX. WALK TALL / KELE

rule number one, be bright like the sun whether rude, whether flawed, like it's just begun rule number one, be the only thing they see

LXXX. THE WILL OF ONE / THE PROTOMEN

as i walk through the city streets, these frightened people watching me pass there is an evil that holds them here, yet they won't try breaking its grasp but if i stay here with you then i will leave them to their doom

LXXXI. FUCKING LIFER / AND SO I WATCH YOU FROM AFAR

[instrumental]

LXXXII. LETS GO HOME / BIG BLACK DELTA

so let's go home, let's go home let's go home, and you will never be alone

LXXXIII. BEACH BOY / AMINE

who knows what the future holds? i don't, if the truth be told they say "play it safe, young soul" fuck that, i'mma take control

LXXXIV. I BELIEVE IT NOW / EVERYTHING EVERYTHING

is this the place where all our hopes and dreams are piled and burnt? into the waters slide into the flames i'm light but they're watching us lift off, as the chasms open up, it took me a century but i'm starting with tonight

LXXXV. DON’T WASTE TIME DOING THINGS YOU HATE / AND SO I WATCH YOU FROM AFAR

[instrumental]

LXXXVI. DO IT ANYWAYS / BEN FOLDS FIVE

sometimes it's not subjective: wrong and right deep down you know it's downright wrong but you're invincible tonight so you, do it anyway it's done, you did it

LXXXVII. THIS YEAR / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

i am going to make it through this year if it kills me i am going to make it through this year if it kills me

LXXXVIII. LIGHT UP THE NIGHT / THE PROTOMEN

there is a city that this darkness can't hide there are the embers of a fire that's gone out, but i can still feel the heat on my skin this mess we're in, well you and i, maybe you and i, we can still make it right

LXXXIX. BEAUTIFULUNIVERSEMASTERCHAMPION / AND SO I WATCH YOU FROM AFAR

[instrumental]

XC. BELIEVER / IMAGINE DRAGONS

first things first i'mma say all the words inside my head i'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been, the way that things have been second thing second don't you tell me what you think that i can be i'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea, the master of my sea

XCI. WE WILL FALL TOGETHER / STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO

and when we fall we will fall together no one will catch us so we'll catch ourselves and when we roam we will roam forever no one will understand what we meant

XCII. BARE MY BONES / BRONTIDE

[instrumental]

XCIII. AMY AKA SPENT GLADIATOR 1 / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

play with matches if you think you need to play with matches seek out the hidden places where the fire burns hot and bright find where the heat's unbearable and stay there if you have to don't hurt anybody on your way up to the light

XCIV. IF IT AIN’T BROKE... BREAK IT / AND SO I WATCH YOU FROM AFAR

[instrumental]

XCV. FALCON JAB / RATATAT

[instrumental]

XCVI. IT’S ALRIGHT / MOTHER MOTHER

oh hey, i had a night i had a day i did one million stupid things i said one billion foolish things i'm not okay, I got a baseball bat beside my bed to fight off what's inside my head, to fight off what's behind my meds i'm lonely; lost in pain

XCVII. WHITE WHALE / EVERYTHING EVERYTHING

your love is like the white whale my finger's on the third rail i want you to be okay i want us to be okay

XCVIII. EVERLONG / FOO FIGHTERS

and i wonder, if everything could ever feel this real forever if anything could ever be this good again the only thing i'll ever ask of you you got to promise not to stop when i say when

XCIX. THANKS. THANKS FOR COMING / JOYWAVE

i could get used to these endless possibilities adrenaline for dinner means a headache that the morning brings

C. HERE’S TO LIFE / STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO

and i don't know much, but i do know this: with a golden heart comes a rebel fist but i can't help agreeing with those that would not quit

#plylsts #cataclysmalbound #originally was going to put on much more streetlight manifesto but it ruined the vibe and i tried to make this less genre hoppy #vs the old one which was... all over the place. sad though because streetlight manifesto is SO cryluscore

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nightcoremoon · 3 years ago

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sing 2 was... actually good?

the music sucked (except for when it played system of a down and u2), obviously, and a lot of the VAs were *tugs collar* problematic and oof, and illumination's animation is as always very corporate plastic and risk-free, and the plot was simple to the point of condescension. exactly like the first one. it's not great, it's a far cry from amazing, but... it's inoffensive. it's ok.

edit- I'm so sorry prince I didn't recognize you because that was such a shitty cover, fuck you the weekend, I'm so sorry elton john I frankly just completely forgot that you were in it, I'm so sorry the yeah yeah yeahs but I just don't like you that much (it's your production, okay?), steve winwood I don't know any of your music but I respect the shit out of you as a guitarist, fuck you coldplay, I'm sorry the struts I usually like you but I just forgot that mediocre song was by you (but at least it was a song I didn't hate), I'm so sorry dionne warwick but I just don't have a clue who you are, ariana grande and zedd you're alright BUT ON THIN ICE, I'm so sorry phil spector but you shouldn't have been a murderer, and billie eilish... I respect you but I hate bad guy because it's so overplayed.

my expectations going in were, okay so it's a mediocre cash grab sequel to an already very forgettable movie that was only really saved by seth macfarlane being an actually incredible frank sinatra impersonator. yes the family guy man sings beautifully. but fuck him. anyway it wasn't my choice to see it, it was either do that with the family or sit in a house alone waiting for everyone to come back with only white-people tacos to keep my company [they're just premade hard shells, beef with powder mix, and shredded mex blend cheese on top, and put in the oven, so they can hardly be called tacos, but they're a popular meal with my dad side of the family]. so it was like, okay fine I guess I'll watch it, I might as well. I'm glad I did.

I did not expect this but I'm glad I watched the movie. but here's the thing. I didn't like the movie because of the movie. I'm not a casual. I'm just cringe.

I liked it because I'm furry garbage.

the pig lady is a milf, the gorilla boy is a cutie, the elephant girl is adorable, the doggo lady is hot, the wolf man is hot, the wolf lady is hot, the cat lady is hot, and the u2 lion man is a dilf. punk rock porcupine is also cool and I like her.

there are other reasons of course. there were amusing moments throughout that I genuinely laughed at. there was character development carried over from the first movie. there were some fantastic scenes dealing with the anxiety of the stage and the insecurity of going pro that were subtle enough to appreciate but not so much it beats you over the head with it. the ron swanson pig husband is such a sweetheart in the second one after being such a piece of shit in the first one. the gorilla using the exact same choreography as the cat did in her intro scene was so good. the waiting for guffman references were well done. there was no stupid bullshit "twist villain", it was just greedy prideful asshole wolf is exactly the kind of asshole you expect him to be and he actually faces realistic consequence for his actions (a lesser studio like disney would have made the hamster be the bad guy- NO BILLIE EYELASH SHUT UP STOP THAT SONG SUCKS STOP USING IT, I LITERALLY HEARD IT THREE TIMES IN THE TRAILERS AND MOVIE (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ ... okay I'm calm now) which were not excused. the sequence showing the backstory of the dead wife was on the same level as fucking Up, it was genuinely a really great scene. the whole ensemble cast was pretty well balanced. there was a forced hetero romance (ew) but it was actually really cute wtf? too bad it was pharell playing a teenager hitting on a teenager who was played by someone his daughter's age but eh oh well straggots are the way that they are. the film's visual storytelling was a knockout punch, unlike certain *ahem* recent pixar films which was just a pile of visual fluff and garnish. well at least encanto had original songs and not just gussied up shitty pop music that all sounds exactly the fucking same. anyway it was fine. clearly the people making it cared about it at least somewhat. they had fun. there was heart.

edit- oh yeah eric andre was great, and I always love peter serafinowicz's deep velvet voice.

*also can I gush over this studio's love of the toxicity album by system of a down and how I hope every single song in that album ends up in one of these movies? like, thank you so much unironically for introducing metal to kids, and especially from a band that actually is good and tries to spread awareness for shit like the armenian genocide, prison industrial complex, pollution & climate change, opioid epidemics, you know, important things. I hope there's a new generation of kids loving system of a down just as much as those at my age and older do.

the negatives aren't really there, anything bad I can say is that it was aggressively mediocre. it accomplished what it needed to. that may not sound like much but considering V. brinquedo exists, it's honestly not even the bare minimum. being mediocre isn't an insult here, it just didn't try very hard to be distinctive. but that is just illumination's brand. it's to be expected. and the good outweighed the mediocre. slightly. because it's subjective. and I'm a furry. if this movie was just Glee, and just humans singing, I would not give a single shit about it. but being about an anthropomorphic animal society just adds enough of a hook to make it stylistic but not enough to detract from the main plot. so it was more like bojack and less like zootopia. now I like zootopia but the social commentary angle was handled about as well as david cage handled racism in detroit- difference is disney made it for kids and cage made it for easily amused idiots who don't care about good game design (and gay autistic kids who kin connor). anyway at least this movie knew it wouldn't win woke points on the internet other than having nonsexualized female characters rather than "animals with tits". beatrix potter style furries.

but fuck the minions and fuck the german pig. annoying. at least nick kroll's dumb accent was important to the plot this time.

now I'm going to talk about my furry crushes.

no I don't give a shit about or remember their names. only their species and gender. call me racist, call me lazy, call me whatever you want. I'm not going to google their fucking names.

mommy pig- hot damn she thicc. just look at those thighs in the cheshire cat costume. oh my god. she had 100+ children and still looks tight as fuck. curvalicious. and she's a good mom! her husband is so lucky to have her.

gorilla boy- he is adorable and I'm glad that he fixed his daddy issues and has a good relation with his father now. his costume was badass and his dancefight scene was paid off really well. flippy boy clearly wore the dark wood grain ring after he got poisebroke but luckily he powerleveled his endurance so could still get the fast rolls, and he decimated that dude. it's probably the best stage fight real fight I've seen in animated media since beastars. wow furry media is underrated and great holy shit.

elephant girl- she is literally a teenager so this isn't a crush. instead I am adopting her. she is babby. I will let nothing bad happen to her. if you draw lewds of her I will actually kill you. :)

doggo lady- tall girl? TALL GIRL? tall girl. and she's a saluki, which is a great dog breed for anthro designs. and she's a meganekko. and she's a bitch (affectionate) with a heart of gold. she's simple but appealing. she's a good girl.

the wolf man- the hot villain I never knew that illumination needed because there are zero hot men in any of these films. until now. and now there's two. and they're both furries. oh no. anyway he's charismatic and literally murdery, so uh. sign me the fuck up. lemme conjugally visit you in prison please daddy, awoOOOOO!

wolf lady- a rich spoiled brat with daddy issues. she's also a total dumbass. that is sexy as fuck. granted I will 100% say that about every wolf girl, especially to grey wolves. but oh my god. princess on the streets if you know what I'm saying. I also love that she has actual depth! humility is a powerful skill to have; she showed it in spades. halsey is a phenomenal vocalist and brought a lot of heart to the character. no I don't care about the discourse, shut the fuck up. I'm saying I want to fuck a cartoon wolf girl, do I look like I care about any bullshit drama?

cat lady- she didn't get much screen time hence I forgot her while writing this but yeah she's cool and I like her. too bad letitia wright voiced her because ugh.

if bono was a lion- I like u2. I think they're a good band. I like a lot of their music. they're talented. I don't care about bono but I like u2. this post is not sponsored by the apple gang because that album sucked. anyway, so uh. I saw his design and thought oh okay he's a lion. that's cool. and then I saw he was built. not just buff but he's fuckin jacked. the man is... huge. and there's nothing sexier than a man who loves his wife. (the daddy pig is handsome but unfuckable because only the mommy pig can fuck him because they're in a loving happy marriage and I ain't no fuckin jolene). and uh, wow, bono's voice can be sexy as hell. this lion man stole my heart because his subplot was honestly the best in the whole fucking movie. when the ghost of his wife walked up next to him I felt real actual emotions well up inside my heart and also my tear ducts. also he drives a fucking motorcycle... WITH FLAMES ON IT. I don't even have ovaries and they are exploding. clay motherfuckin calloway (I only know his name since they said it like 20 times but also what a sexy name holy shit) is the sexiest lion man I've ever seen and he is probably the top of my furry man list. mister peanutbutter, sly cooper, legoshi, robin hood, t0ny the t1ger, you were once my top 5. but now you're my top 6. welcome to the family bono.

honorable mention: matthew mckoalannaghey is a good boy

anyway bisexual furries watch sing and enjoy.

everyone else... eh, you can skip it.

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sugar-petals · 7 years ago

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BTS Hogwarts Houses

Bangtan sorted with their ♦ core quality.

Disclaimer: Written by a Slytherin.

Jimin - Slytherin | ♦ Charming

“What will you be like in 10 years?” - “I’ll be on the world news, what else… I’ll be a man that the whole world wants.” That’s Slytherin aspiring to greatness. Like he wanted to be the #1 swordsman after watching One Piece as a kid and picked up fencing. That easily excludes cautious Hufflepuff who wants to be loved but only in their frugal sphere without bold ambitions. And Ravenclaw who’d be in analysis paralysis before they even thought of going global. Jimin lacks most aquiline traits in particular. Like he made fun of RM’s convoluted existential philosophy in AHL. Doesn’t mean he has intellectual disdain, consider how much of an ace in math/chemistry he was. But it wasn’t for curiosity. More like Jimin’s trademark goal-orientation, concealed behind this planet’s most charming smile. He hides a lot of fraternity bias, too, with a mask of Hufflepuff’s altruism. But inside, he is motivated by praise for personal gains. He goes about it in a perfectionistic way and won’t bother with Gryffindor’s cowardice issues… which points to Slytherin. Career comes first at all cost. He wants power over the audience, the applause. Not much adventure or savior complex going on. While daredevils Tae and Hobi always say after practice/filming how fun it was despite the challenge (Gryffindor heroism focus), pragmatic Jimin - just like JK and Suga - sees the shortcomings to work on (Slytherin competency focus). He wants to avoid public humiliation, see weight and voice struggles. Gryffindor would boldly say: suck it up, haters. But Jimin is different, too dark and vulnerable below the surface. He can’t handle malicious critique or being overshadowed. I was born in Busan first! Greed to dance center! Look at me only, or else I get angry. Slytherin claiming the top spot there, not afraid to threaten. He will change his manners, looks, or complete objective to achieve. No other house is that adaptable. And with his level of smooth like a snake flirting, without a doubt he has plenty of sexy cunning, too.

Taehyung - Gryffindor | ♦ Daring

Power or wisdom he does not crave. It’s a decision between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, and I argue for the former. His goal when he was young and couldn’t afford things was to have a “fabulous” life, to provide for himself and everything his relatives lacked. HP translation: chivalry and fighting for the underdog. He said he admired the heroism of his dad, or the sacrifice of the protagonist in one of his favorite movies, “A Wolf’s Temptation”. V wanted to become a singer because of the positive feedback from his peers when he was on stage. Disclosing his core values, he states wanting to be confident and not giving up. That’s Gryffindor’s will, social adventure spirit, and valor. Consider the wild things he does on live television in general. He eats things he shouldn’t eat, endlessly teased his pet dog by blowing on it, nae nae’d for KBS and the entire world, danced in stilettos, and once left in the middle of broadcast to go to the toilet walking through the entire venue. For me as a Slytherin: unfathomable, and Yoongi thinks the same since Tae’s Cypher performance. You probably spotted a Gryffindor when the Slytherins are not having it. It’s boldness mixed with a lax attitude that rubs snakes the wrong way: ”Grades are not that important”. I don’t see a hard-working, decency-loving Hufflepuff. It’s the impulse of Gryffindor that will not micro-manage or conform. There are some other few moments that made me think Gryff. In Run BTS Ep.32 he did not play fair at all, first protected Jungkook, then bluffed to betray him. Too much mischief for consistent and just Hufflepuff. “Rescuer house” Gryffindor is a lot less focused on loyalty even in jest. Last but not least: Last time I checked, the “V” sign stands for victory so we really have a lion here.

Yoongi - Slytherin | ♦ Goal-oriented

No doubts about this old soul. The day Agust D finished everyone, the minute Min Yoonji entered the room, the moment Suga broke down receiving the 2016 daesang, his house was set. Need more evidence? “You need people like me to point your fuxxin’ fingers and say ‘that’s the bad guy’”. Verbatim from the mixtape cover. No Ravenclaw nor Hufflepuff would EVER promote that. Gryffindor is eliminated, too. He rather cares about the power behind the throne, the respect, the skills and resources that he will keep secret if he has to. He’d even want being feared which practically no other house desires or has use for. Yoongi operates in the shadows, literally at night. Slytherin loves the dark, the common room would be so perfect for him. 200+ songs a year? That’s what I call ambition. He knew what his purpose was ever since, too. No surprise he loves trophies, it was all in his past vision. His sharp tongue, “I’m a genius” antics, and stance of observation signify Slytherin's cunning braggadocio style. All mixed with shrewdness, as does his fixation on the past. If you go through the house traits, yeah. He does have them all. He gets along with actual living snakes just fine as well, just like Jimin. I mean, Suga is so Slytherin he could straight up hang out with Merlin himself to talk about what it means to be at the top. If he wasn’t busy producing - read: goal-orientedness and self-preservation - he’d be a leader candidate. Suga has a lot of boss qualities and can guide things to success without disclosing everything. Confer his Festa hosting, he keeps the members on track. Most clear-cut Slytherin in Bangtan.

Jin - Hufflepuff | ♦ Caring EDIT: I consider Jin a Gryffindor by now.

Loyal, hardworking, practical, cheerful, family-oriented, traditional, anti-competition, friendly, slept on. Jin meets each criterium to a T. He always seems like he just came to chill with his favorite people. Hufflepuff is often compared to the homely Hobbit culture, I find it absolutely dead-on and reminiscent of Jin’s mentality. He once stated that he envied his father’s “well-regulated life” and complained about such an ordinary lifestyle being difficult as he grew up. If that doesn’t ring a bell. Hufflepuff does not fit into the KPop industry at all, but they are the ones who really keep it running. Huff takes out the competition from Gryffindor/Slytherin social structures. Look at EatJin (Helga Hufflepuff also introduced food enthusiasm to Hogwarts). “252,031 people are watching me eat. Great. It can’t get any more uncomfortable than this.” Not much risk-taking or fame-seeking involved there. Worldwide handsome you say, he’s really digging it and shows all that confidence? I say that’s Jin getting with the program of what others say about him and projecting it outward to get their support - Hufflepuff first and foremost wants love. Yet it’s in a tug-of-war, it wants to be heard but also politely restrains itself so when they get a chance to self-advocate, of course, they take it! It’s to feel secure and to adapt, not because he’s arrogant or not modest. And Namjoon put him in Gryffindor. The rule-breakers and fighters. You had one job. But I bet it was to be in the same house with him or to give him some credit. If someone does not get the lines they deserve it’s Hufflepuff, because unlike Slytherin or Gryffindor, they don’t push their talents forward because they value a cozy and less eventful life much more.

J-Hope - Gryffindor | ♦ Passionate

Q: “How does it feel to be having this global success?” - JH: “Woo! It’s nice!” Gryffindor loves fame. Our Hobi did not hesitate to answer one bit there. He has a whole lot of nerve and boldness, fits perfectly into America’s very Gryffindor culture, did you notice? Don’t let the flinch game or horror clip reaction fool you. What he values is daring. The rest is just exercising what he is good at - expressing emotions, and you can be sure he amps it up for the entertainment. If there is one house who likes an uproar, it’s the lions. They’re just not into snakes, that’s all. Also, Gryff heroism - “I was so afraid, but I survived!” style. At the beginning, he was confident since he wanted to test himself. And then it backfired. Like on Corden he exclaimed “Wow!” and danced toward the glass when it was his turn, then got caught by surprise. Classic: Gryff’s volition overriding all planning or foresight. It lacks Slytherin’s or Ravenclaw’s consideration and cautious Hufflepuff’s comfort mentality. He always goes straight ahead to combat boredom for everybody while the other members would be too embarrassed or slow. His room apparently is the noisiest. Is it a Gryffindor trait that they are very loud? I do think so. Partly because it ties to their traits of being people-oriented, temperamental, and talkative, which definitely applies to Hobi. It’s a good point to attach similar Hufflepuff values to him. But he still has that one edge of chivalry and glee in winning that makes him a lion, while he is neither very grounded nor unafraid of toil. In fact, he’s not into the sturdy badgers’ extra hard work, Slytherin’s ruthless pursuit, or Ravenclaw’s intellectual experiments and projects. Guess why Suga (S) and Joon (R) have their mixtapes out while he doesn’t. J-Hope excels more using a whim and scattered energy to charge into the situation at hand.

Namjoon - Ravenclaw | ♦ Intelligent

So he sorted himself into Gryffindor. Technically, you can’t say anything against that. You go where you want to go since it shows what traits you like the most. But in his case, come on. He has no Gryffindor qualities nor do his choices in life effectively show Gryffindor values. There is a reason why he always envies Suga’s trivia knowledge. Why he’s the only one in BTS who likes to spend time in the bookstore. Why he had his “Problematic Men” show. Why Namjoon raises the LGBT+ flag so high. Why his rap and puns show great wit and second thought. Why he goes on a galaxy-level tangent any time a deep topic comes up. Why ignorance is vitriol to him. He values Ravenclaw traits. Not that his high IQ would place him there, but rather how he expresses it. All for knowledge’s sake. He prefers to be in his intellectual sphere like a scholar which clearly distinguishes him from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. He’s formal, well-conceived, caught off guard when confronted with his fame. What’s quite interesting is that he represents the humanitarian slant of his house, Ravenclaw isn’t all books and no heart, “callous” as its main flaw is described. It’s about acceptance and conscientiousness for Namjoon. He’s an iconoclastic, wise romantic who loves to learn, and sophisticated as this house suggests. It shows whenever he writes letters for SNS. Yeah I’m all for going into the house you want to be the most - RM wants to be a Gryffindor - but if he has not one reckless bone in him and effectively does not choose courage by all means, it’s Ravenclaw which reflects him perfectly.

Jungkook - Slytherin | ♦ Self-Preserving

Typical Slytherin introvert. Shy, but determined. That sets him apart from Gryffindor in particular. If he had to choose between asking IU for her number or impressing her with his skills indirectly, he chooses the latter. Gryffindor wouldn’t even think about that and dive in head first even if the odds of rejection are high. Slytherin estimates their chances instead, looks for the best way to use their resources successfully. He’s tactical, economical, but doesn’t want to accumulate knowledge like Ravenclaws who can be equally calculating. Look at his shrugged-off responses to math questions on air. The only book he’ll ever pick up is a comic or manga. Given how much self-preservation he demonstrated so far, how much he emphasizes ambition, Slytherin is a no-brainer. Social house Hufflepuff would reach out to bond, meanwhile Jungkook: showered alone in the early days, stays in his room, goes to Hongdae by himself, few tweets, mutes the group chat... On the other hand: Piano Tiles, wrestling, bowling, working out: JK comes out of his shell and gives it his all when he knows his efforts will be valued. He’s hypercompetitive even with small things, was not above shoving J-Hope aside mid-air to claim his title as #TheBunny in Run BTS Ep.33. If he’s forcibly pigeonholed as the baby maknae, then he’ll make it a freaking success. Delegate Slytherin an assignment that they are sure of tackling and they get active. Without a goal, what’s the use? Finally, there’s a pretty salient reason behind why he loves G-Dragon and was inspired by him to become a star in the first place. GD is the King of serpents. Slytherin family allegiance and aristocracy much? It also ties to how he treats his parents, this guy is on another level.

Gif cr. x x x x x x x

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gaymusicchart · 7 years ago

Video

youtube

GAY MUSIC CHART – 2018 week 13

Welcome to the Gay Music Chart, the LGBTQA related music videos TOP 50 actuality and most request.

Vote for your favourite LGBTQA related music videos by leaving a comment for this post on :

YOUTUBE (in the comment section of the video of the week) : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz7yfp-xq-b08tD6mAWwclA

BLOGGER : http://gaymusicchart.blogspot.fr

FACEBOOK : https://www.facebook.com/GayMusicChart/

TWITTER : https://twitter.com/GayMusicChart with #GayMusicChart

TUMBLR : http://gaymusicchart.tumblr.com

Here is the recap for this week :

OUT : Troye Sivan - The Good Side (Live on SNL) (LW: 21 / WO: 8 / PEAK: 13)

OUT : Lauren Ruth Ward - Sideways (LW: 23 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 23)

OUT : Bilal Hassani - Shadows (LW: 24 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 24)

OUT : Bella Ćwir - Drogie Ciuchy (LW: 25 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 25)

OUT : VELO feat. Luisifer - Dancer (LW: 30 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 30)

OUT : djfriz feat. 마샬 (MRSHLL), 메건리 (Megan Lee) - Dive (English Version) (LW: 32 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 19)

OUT : Brandi Carlile - The Joke (LW: 34 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 20)

OUT : Pussy Riot & Dave Sitek - Bad Apples (LW: 35 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 35)

OUT : Aluta Humbane - Nami Ngithanda Indoda (LW: 37 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 37)

OUT : Boris Jelic - Freedom (Lyric Video) (LW: 41 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 41)

OUT : Eddy de Pretto - Normal (LW: 42 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 19)

OUT : Samir & Viktor - Shuffla (live @ Melodifestivalen Finale 2018) (LW: 43 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 43)

OUT : Ricky Martin feat. Wisin, Yandel - Fiebre (LW: 44 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 32)

OUT : Todrick Hall - Ordinary Day (LW: 46 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 46)

OUT : Peppermint and Cazwell - Blend (LW: 49 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 23)

01 (=) : Years & Years - Sanctify (LW: 01 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 01 (x2))

UK - 2018

Years & Years singer Olly Alexander says the band’s new single Sanctify is about straight men who experiment with gay sex.

02 (+ 24) : Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Together (LW: 26 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 02)

Ireland - 2018

This sweet ballad will represent Ireland at the Eurovision Song Contest 2018. The music video is so cute.

03 (+ 1) : Francisco Victoria - Marinos (LW: 03 / WO: 13 / PEAK: 03)

Chile - 2017

This is the first single of the Chilean singer, produced by Alex Anwandter. A revelation.

04 (- 1) : Troye Sivan - My My My! (LW: 03 / WO: 11 / PEAK: 01 (x3))

Australia - 2018

The first track of his upcoming album has topped at #3 at the Worldwide iTunes Song Chart. It's the eighth single of the Australian singer in a row to be #1 in our chart.

05 (+ 1) : Saara Aalto - Monsters (LW: 06 / WO: 7 / PEAK: 05)

Finland - 2018

This song will represent Finland at the Eurovision Song Contest 2018.

06 (+ 3) : Allie X feat. VÉRITÉ - Casanova (LW: 09 / WO: 13 / PEAK: 03)

Canada - 2017 / from the album "CollXtion II"

07 (- 5) : Janelle Monáe - Make Me Feel (LW: 02 / WO: 5 / PEAK: 02)

USA - 2018 / from the album "Dirty Computer"

08 (=) : Calum Scott - You Are The Reason (LW: 08 / WO: 18 / PEAK: 04)

UK - 2017

09 (- 2) : Sufjan Stevens - Mystery of Love ("Call Me By Your Name" OST) (LW: 07 / WO: 20 / PEAK: 01 (x1))

USA - 2017 / from the album ("Call Me By Your Name" OST)

The song was nominated for the Oscar of Best Original Song at the Academy Awards 2018.

10 (- 5) : Kylie Minogue - Dancing (LW: 05 / WO: 9 / PEAK: 01 (x3))

Australia - 2018 / from the album "Golden"

11 (- 1) : Eli Lieb - Next To You (LW: 10 / WO: 15 / PEAK: 02)

USA - 2017

12 (+ 28) : Troye Sivan - Strawberries & Cigarettes ("Love, Simon" OST) (LW: 40 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 12)

Australia - 2018 / from the album "Love, Simon" OST

13 (+ 2) : Matt Palmer - Inevitably (LW: 15 / WO: 7 / PEAK: 13)

USA - 2018 / from the EP "Get Lost"

14 (- 3) : Holland (홀랜드) - Neverland (네버랜드) (LW: 11 / WO: 9 / PEAK: 08)

South Korea - 2018

This is the first South Korean music video showing a gay couple kissing in a romantic way.

15 (+ 5) : Les Funambules (Maximilien Philippe) - Pardon (LW: 20 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 15)

France - 2018 - from the album "Les Funambules"

This song is the confession of a man who's quitting his wife because he realised he was gay.

16 (NEW) : Netta - Toy (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 16)

Israel - 2018

This song, made by gay composer Doron Medalie and his partner and producer Stav Beger, will represent Israel at the Eurovision Song Contest 2018. It is already by far the great favorite for fans and bookmakers.

17 (- 5) : Trevor Moran - Sinner (LW: 12 / WO: 16 / PEAK: 01 (x2))

USA - 2017

18 (+ 29) : SAKIMA - Daddy (LW: 47 / WO: 15 / PEAK: 14)

UK - 2017

19 (- 3) : Kevin Chomat - Petite Fée (LW: 16 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 16)

France - 2018

The French singer has made a song to support Lana, a young girl who has a rare genetic disease called neurofibromatosis.

20 (NEW) : Q-Tip feat. Demi Lovato - Don't Go Breaking My Heart (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 20)

USA - 2018

21 (NEW) : CRIMER - I Won't Fall In Love (Live at Openair St.Gallen 2017) (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 21)

Switzerland - 2018

22 (+ 16) : Bagarre - Danser seul (ne suffit pas) (LW: 38 / WO: 11 / PEAK: 10)

France - 2018 / from the album "Club 12345"

Several drag queens are featuring in the music video of this French Touch house music.

23 (- 10) : Virgin Suicide - Evil Eyes (LW: 13 / WO: 16 / PEAK: 05)

Denmark - 2017

This Danish music video is like a short movie, telling the struggles of a closeted gay teen taken by his father to a fathers-sons's camp.

24 (NEW) : SSION feat. Ariel Pink - At Least The Sky Is Blue (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 24)

USA - 2018 / from the album 'O'

25 (- 11) : Nakhane - Interloper (LW: 14 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 14)

South Africa - 2018 / from the album "You Will Not Die"

We supports the South African singer and actor, who is threatened to death for portraying a gay character in the movie "Inxeba / The Wound", which has been banned for a while in South Africa.

26 (+ 19) : Calum Scott - What I Miss Most (1 Mic 1 Take/Live From Abbey Road Studios) (LW: 45 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 26)

UK - 2018 / from the album "Only Human"

27 (+ 23) : Openside - I Feel Nothing (LW: 50 / WO: 7 / PEAK: 11)

New Zealand - 2017

Lead singer Possum Plows, who is gender non-binary, raises the transgender flag in this music video. In her new song, Hayley is wondering why the girl she's dating is dating also another guy in the same time. "Expectations" will be released on March 30, 2018.

28 (NEW) : Todrick Hall feat. RuPaul - Dem Beats (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 28)

USA - 2018 / from the album "Forbidden"

29 (+ 19) : Hayley Kiyoko - Curious (LW: 48 / WO: 11 / PEAK: 08)

USA - 2018 / from the album "Expectations"

In her new song, Hayley is wondering why the girl she's dating is dating also another guy in the same time. "Expectations" will be released on March 30, 2018.

30 (NEW) : VELO feat. Melissa BeFierce - Perra (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 30)

USA - 2018

31 (NEW) : Cheese On Bread - Bad Friend (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 31)

USA - 2018 / from the album "The One Who Wanted More"

This queer music video depicts a sexual harassement scene.

32 (- 10) : MNEK - Tongue (LW: 22 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 22)

UK - 2018

33 (+ 3) : Michael Blume - Blunder (LW: 36 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 23)

USA - 2018

34 (- 5) : Chase Sansing - Begins With You (LW: 29 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 22)

USA - 2018

The country singer comes out with this pride anthem.

35 (- 18) : La Prohibida - Baloncesto (LW: 17 / WO: 35 / PEAK: 03)

Spain / from the album "100K años de luz"

The drag queen joined Madrid’s Three Kings float, but traditionalists didn't like it.

36 (+ 3) : Trixie Mattel - Break Your Heart (LW: 39 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 36)

USA - 2018 / from the album "One Stone"

37 (NEW) : REIKA by Daniel Robinson / Björk - Jóga (Howie B Main Mix) (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 37)

USA - 2018

38 (NEW) : Happy Little Clouds - Beneath (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 38)

USA - 2018

This is their first music video.

39 (- 8) : CRIMER - Cards (LW: 31 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 31)

Switzerland - 2018 / from the album "Leave Me Baby"

40 (- 7) : Namuel - Poder (LW: 33 / WO: 5 / PEAK: 25)

Chile - 2018

41 (NEW) : Alice Caymmi, Pabllo Vittar - Eu Te Avisei (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 41)

Brazil - 2018

42 (NEW) : Osvaldo Supino - Amati (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 41)

Italy - 2018 / taken from the album "Resolution"

43 (NEW) : Jordan LeShea - Alone (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 43)

USA - 2018

44 (- 16) : Patrick Wolf - The Days (fan video) (LW: 28 / WO: 9 / PEAK: 07)

UK - 2017 / from the album "God’s Own Country OST"

The multi-awarded movie was nominated in 2 categories at the BAFTA Awards 2017, including Best Outstanding British Film.

45 (- 26) : Courtney Barnett - Need A Little Time (LW: 19 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 19)

Australia - 2018 / from the album "Tell Me How You Really Feel"

46 (- 28) : morgxn - Translucent (LW: 18 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 18)

USA - 2018

47 (NEW) : teo entertainment - Легко / Easy (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 47)

Russia - 2018

48 (NEW) : Lycinaïs Jean - Parfait Tourment (Version radio Edit) (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 48)

France - 2018 / from the album "Lycinaïs Jean"

49 (NEW) : Victoria Solé - Te Amo (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 49)

Uruguay - 2018

50 (- 23) : Jinkx Monsoon - Just Me (The Gender Binary Blues) (LW: 27 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 27)

USA - 2018 / from the album "The Ginger Snapped"

ALSO NEW THIS WEEK

Larva - Para Javier

2018 - Mexico / from the album "Trágicos Cuentos de Amor"

Javiera Mena feat. Li Saumet - Intuición

Chile - 2018

Max Tejera Feat. Goro Gocher - Tebas (Homenaje a Dani Umpi)

Uruguay - 2018

Matt Fishel - Soldiers

UK - 2018 / from the album "M/F"

Handsome - Save Some Love

Australia - 2018

Bleachers - Alfie's Song (Not So Typical Love Song)

USA - 2018 / from the album "Love, Simon" OST

Evripidis and His Tragedies - 1959

Spain - 2018

Sons of an Illustrious Father - Extraordinary Rendition

USA - 2018

of Montreal - Plateau Phase/No Careerism No Corruption

USA - 2018 / from the album "White Is Relic/Irrealis Mood"

Jeremy Gloff - I've Got Someone

USA - 2018 / from the album "Lightrail"

Candy Ken - ME AF

Austria - 2018

RuPaul feat. Trixie Mattel, Shangela, Kennedy & BeBe Zahara Benet - Kitty Girl

USA - 2018

These drag queens are the top four finalists of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 3.

Pentatonix - Attention

USA - 2018 - from the album "PTX Presents: Top Pop, Vol. I"

Shoshana Bean feat. Travis Wall - This is Me (cover)

USA - 2018

Jack and Joel - From the Start (Lyric Video)

UK - 2018

Paul Ryder - Uptown Funk (live @ Ireland's Got Talent 2018)

Ireland - 2018

Young M.A - Praktice (Official Audio)

USA - 2018

See you next week and don’t forget to vote for your best LGBTQA music videos ! Here are the rules :

1 ) You can vote for many videos as you want under the videos on YouTube in the comment section. It could be recent or past music videos, which must provide at least one among the following conditions:

- the music video has LGBTQA related content, in the lyrics or the music video

- the artist is LGBTQA, an LGBTQA icon or eventually ally

- LGBTQA medias talked about it.

2 ) You can’t vote more than 3 songs of a same artist per week.

3 ) In case of an artist who receive votes mostly by a fan base, we will count only one song, in a limited time of 10 weeks of presence in the top.

4 ) You can vote with only one account.

5 ) If you make 5 votes or less, your first vote will represent 5 points, your second vote 4 points, etc… until your last vote and following 1 point. If you make 6 to 10 votes, your first vote will represent 10 points, your second vote 9 points, etc… If you make more than 10 votes, your first vote will represent 20 points, your second vote 19 points, etc…

6 ) People who make 1 to 5 votes form the amateur ranking, those who make 6 to 10 votes form the fan ranking, those who make more than 10 votes form the expert ranking. We form the jury ranking. And we count now the ranking of minutes of views of our weekly playlist of the previous week. The Gay Music Chart is the addition of the five charts. In case of equality, the number of votes and the dates of votes will count.

7 ) The votes will close on Thursday, 8 PM, European time.

#Gay Music Chart #LGBTQ+#music videos

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geekofmanyforms · 4 years ago

Text

New Beginning:Chapter Seventeen

A/N: Please review and let me know what you think, whether it's good or bad. I hope you guys enjoy it. REVIEW, YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! :) This chapter has been edited by my Beta Casey.

Elena stood in the bathroom, her back to me, staring into Jeremy's room. I leaned my chin on her shoulder and looked in on him. He was sitting at his desk looking through his old sketch pad, a reminiscent grin on his face. His eyes held so many memories; happy ones.

He took a pencil from his supplies and found an empty page. He tilted the yellowing pages toward him and began to sketch, his face focused and at ease. I could feel Elena take a deep calming breath beneath me, and I smiled. Watching Jeremy sketch again made us feel at home like things were normal and happy. I reached for Jeremy's door and quietly closed it. He didn't need to see us peeping on him. I wrapped my arms around Elena and hugged her briefly, before pulling away and flouncing out of the bathroom, my mood greatly improved. I bounded down the stairs, flinging my hair into a messy bun as Jenna was pulling her bag over her shoulder in a hurry, her hair getting caught in the straps.

"Jeremy has his sketch pad out," I whispered excitedly as I hopped over the last step.

Jenna looked up from rescuing her hair and smiled brightly, her eyes shining. "You're kidding?" she said, beaming.

I shook my head and grabbed my bag from behind the door.

"Nope, she's not," Elena said quietly, coming down the stairs. "But don't say a word. The moment we encourage him, he'll put it away."

I looked over my shoulder and pointed at her. "Yep," I nodded in agreement. "For once, I agree with her," I said, gasping in fake shock and holding my heart.

Elena rolled her eyes and ignored Jenna's laughter.

"Psychology major. Check that!" Jenna said, check-marking the air with her finger, laughter still in her voice.

I grabbed my new jacket from the rack and slipped it on, smiling at the way it fit my shape perfectly. The silver studs on the shoulders and wrists stood out beautifully against the black. After I finished zipping it up, I looked up to find Jenna smiling at me. "What?" I asked, raising my hands in the air.

Jenna shrugged, the corners of her mouth pulling down. "Nothing. You've just developed a taste for leather jackets recently," she said, smiling.

I narrowed my eyes at her and hoped she didn't notice the way they darted to the thankfully oblivious Elena and back. All I needed was her getting the wrong idea.

I lifted two fingers and pointed to my eyes and back to Jenna. She huffed dramatically and turned to Elena, who had her phone out, staring at it pitifully, her brows furrowed. She walked up beside her and looked down at her phone, questioningly.

"You and Stefan? Update?" she asked.

Elena looked at me over Jenna's shoulder, and I gave her a sad sorta smile. She started buttoning up her jacket and looked at Jenna with an air of indifference. "He knows how I feel and where I stand, and I know where he stands, but it doesn't matter. He's leaving, moving away," she said, finishing the last button and grabbing her bag.

I stepped up onto the last step and looked up the stairs. "We are leaving, Jer!" I hollered.

I didn't wait for an answer before hopping off the step and following Jenna and Elena outside.

I walked a few feet behind them, allowing Elena her space. This was harder for her than it was for me. I could depend on myself, and I had Rebekah. Elena had lost our mother, the only woman she had ever depended on for relationship advice. Not that she could have discussed this relationship with our mother, but I understood that she felt like she had nowhere to turn and vent her feelings.

Elena and Jenna parted ways at her car, and I slipped into the passenger seat.

"Not taking yours today?" she asked, leaning down and looking at me with a quirked brow.

"Nah, don't feel like it. I'm leaving the driving to you today, sis," I said, laying my head back with a smile.

Elena swiftly slid into the car and sighed. "You barely talk to me, and now I've been reduced to chauffer. Great sister, you are," she snipped.

I rolled my eyes and slipped in my headphones, slapping my hands together, and snapping my fingers. "Onwards!" I obnoxiously shouted over my music.

Elena leaned over and took my phone, glancing at the title of the song that was playing before putting my volume on full blast with a mischevious smile. I yanked my headphones from my ears with a yelp of startled pain, and jumped, hitting my head on the top of the car.

"Now we can go," she said smugly, pulling out of the driveway.

I rubbed my ears and squinted my eyes at her in surprise. That was sneaky.

"Five points to Elena," I said wryly.

Elena turned her head and looked at me in confusion, her eyes scanning my face. She turned her gaze back to the road, her knuckles white as she gripped the steering wheel with force.

"Are you sure, Ellie?" she whispered.

I watched the side of her face, the tension in her forehead, causing wrinkles. I laid my cheek against the seat and sighed. "Expect a war, Lena. I won't go easy on you, my dear twin,"

Her face smoothed a bit, and she inhaled, holding it in for a brief moment. "I am sorry," she whispered, almost to low for me to hear.

When I chose to ignore her nearly silent apology, she smiled and fisted the air in triumph. "Team Elena for the win!" she shouted.

I giggled and rolled my eyes in exasperation. It had been years since we had played our little game. It wasn't something our parents had ever approved of, but it had always helped us solve even our worst fights. Our childhood therapist had called it a very unhealthy form of sibling rivalry. We chose to put pins in her seat as retribution. Well...that had been my idea; mine and my imaginary friend Rebekah.

We had been about six years old, shortly after the whole fixing Elena's broken arm with magic and then breaking her nose incident. Even though Elena and I were not very close, we still fought and had the little sibling games we shared together. Ours were just a little rougher than your average family. We would torture each other, the only rules being, it had to be a surprise attack, and there could be no bodily harm nor anything cruel. So it would end up being things like nightly haircuts, hair dye in the conditioner, white-out on our less important homework, salt in the sugar container.

Little things, and in the end, whoever had the most points won. The person who was hit with the attack, awards the points, based on the level of cleverness used. If the attacker thinks the points aren't fair, they can go to a third party who is chosen at the time the game is started. Once the game is over, the fight that had started it all was never allowed to be mentioned again. The battle was supposed to be punishment enough.

It was a silly childish game, but to be honest, I missed my sister. I hoped that what Jeremy would do to her when he found out the truth, would be enough to help her learn her lesson, not to mention, everything that was to come. Plus, I really didn't have much time to waste on fighting.

"Don't get too excited Lena, you're only five points ahead, and we both know who the real master of this game is," I said with a cruel smile.

Elena pulled into the school and grinned madly. "Not this time. We're older now." she took the keys from the ignition as I hopped out of the car. "Who is the third party? Same as always?" she asked as she exited the car.

I walked up beside her and placed my hands in my jacket pockets. "If he'll do it. He is the best," I said with a nod.

Elena and I started inside side by side. "Always fair," she agreed.

"Ok, we will ask him then. Truce until then?" I asked, facing her as if we were about to duel.

She eyed me warily, scanning me quickly before slowly reaching out her hand. Bonnie and Caroline joined us but stood quietly when they noticed our position. "Truce until our third is called," Elena said seriously, eyes on my hand.

We joined hands, and immediately Elena's shoulders loosened, and she breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Truce," I giggled, pulling away.

"Oh...God, no!" Caroline called out her hands on her mouth.

Bonnie rubbed her face and rolled her eyes. "Seriously, guys? The Gilbert Twin Wars? I thought those days were behind us?" she said in exasperation.

I put my arms around Elena and smiled brightly, my eyes shining with evil. "It's time. War has returned my fellow friends. Prepare yourselves," I said in my best movie trailer voice.

Tyler came up behind me and pulled me against his chest with a feral grin. "Did I just hear what I think I did?" His eyes lit up as he placed his chin on my shoulder.

Elena's nose twitched as she took in our position with distaste.

"Did Bon just say The Gilbert Twin Wars was back?" he asked.

I pulled away from him and matched his feral grin. "Yeah. You're team Elara, right?" I asked with a wink.

He clapped me on the back, and I winced, only slightly.

Damn wolf strength.

"Aren't I always? Have been since we were six," he said with a grin.

I clapped my hands together and laughed, sticking my tongue out at Elena.

"Remember the rules, Ellie. Moral support, ideas, and supplies. That's all they can help with," she said, shaking her finger.

I sighed, my shoulders slumping. "I know that, Lena. I don't cheat. Set up and execution is Gilbert only ground," I said, my voice sing-song towards the end.

Bonnie laid an arm on Elena's shoulder and winked at me. "Team Elena, as always. Sorry, El," she said.

I shook my head and grabbed Caroline. "That's ok. Sounds fair, to which I think you'll agree. It'll give everyone exactly the same advantages to use. If you catch my drift," I said with a wink.

Bonnie shook her head with a laugh. "Yep, my thoughts exactly," she said.

I turned to Caroline and narrowed my eyes. "Caroline?" I asked.

Caroline backed away slowly. "Last time I lost an inch of hair. I think I'll steer clear this time. I love you, though," she said, walking swiftly into class with Matt.

Tyler sighed and chuckled maniacally. "That was her fault. I tried to tell her that the conditioner was contaminated," he said.

I bit my lip when everyone started laughing around me, Bonnie covering her bright face with her hand.

"She always did leave her conditioner on too long," I said with a giggle.

Tyler pushed me, and I gave him a quick wave as we all went our separate ways.

—-

Elena and I walked outside after our classes ended. I was happy to see her look so much brighter than she had the last few days. This whole ordeal with Stefan was really hurting her. That's why when I saw him sitting on the table outside waiting for her, I was more than a little irritated. I pushed past her, pulling away when she tried to take my arm and stepped right in from of him, my eyes hard.

"Stefan Salvatore, you seriously better have a perfect excuse for being here. You're breaking my sister's heart, pulling away from her like this. And to just show up again, that's cruel," I whispered harshly.

Stefan looked down at me, his eyes soft, and smiled gently. "I see someone has forgiven her," he said.

I elbowed him in the stomach as I turned around, enjoying his light groan. "You've chosen for that to be none of your business, Stef, because, ya see, you're not just leaving her...brother," I said as I walked away.

I could hear his soft intake of breath but kept walking. I didn't need to turn around to know I had gotten my point across. Elena was waiting for me a few feet away, I took her hand in mine and gave her a hug.

"Call me if you need me," I whispered in her ear.

She pulled away with a nod, and I watched her join a newly darkened Stefan. I walked home quickly, using my magic to give myself a natural boost, using the woods as cover. By the time I had hit the front porch, my hair was windswept and clothes ruffled. I looked like I had stood in the back of a truck while it went 90 down an old country road. I pulled a few leaves from my hair and clothes before I slipped inside. Jeremy was lying on the couch, his sketchbook in his lap.

"Hey, Ellie. What do you think?" he asked, lifting the pad into the air.

I stepped beside him and took the sketch from his hands. On the page, he had drawn an image of a vampire, mouth opened wide, fangs bared. I could even see the hunger in his black eyes.

"Nice. Really creepy. What made you choose a vampire?" I asked nonchalantly, handing him the pad.

He looked back down at the drawing, a smile on his face. "I found this old journal in dad's stuff, Jonathan Gilbert from the 1800s. He's kinda a freak show." I sat down on the edge of the couch beside him and placed my elbow on my knee, resting my chin on my open palm.

"Yeah, I remember reading that. He wrote about demons, right?" I asked, edging him on.

Jeremy nodded quickly, sitting up, his eyes wide with excitement.

"He was a writer...short stories fiction stuff," Jenna said, coming in from the kitchen with a smile.

She sat down on the back of the couch and leaned over to glance at Jeremy's drawing. "Wow, definitely creepy," she said.

"Oh. He writes fiction? I figured he was just a lunatic or drunk," Jeremy said, leaning back against the couch pillow with a grin.

Jenna stood and took a book from the shelf behind her. "Well, he was a Gilbert, probably a little bit of both," she said, handing him the book with a smile.

Jeremy laughed, his eyes lightly sparkling with mischief. I shook my head at them both. If they only knew. My phone rang, startling all three of us, and I jumped, falling off the edge of the couch. Jeremy tried to reach out and stop me, but he was too late. I landed with a huff on the floor, my ass stinging.

"Ow, my ass," I whined, my red hair falling out of its elastic prison.

I ran my hand through it, ruffling it a bit, and pulled the elastic band back around my wrist. Jeremy laughed loudly, and Jenna helped me to my feet. I pulled my phone from my pocket, rubbing my stinging backside. I answered without even glancing at the name.

"Whoever this is better to be dying. My ass really hurts now, and it's all your fault," I said in greeting.

Jeremy laid his head back, still laughing, and Jenna swatted me on the arm, her eyes wide.

"Well, your ass hasn't been my problem in a very long time, Elandra. But I'm sure I could find some way to help you out," Damon said, his voice doing little to hide the smirk I could practically see through the phone.

I smiled and took my bag from the floor, winking at Jeremy with a wave. As I stepped onto the porch, I sighed. "What do you need, Damon?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

"You can take this," he said, the voice coming from beside me.

I jumped, spinning around and pushing him against the house, my hands fisted in his dark blue shirt. I chuckled in anger. "Don't. Do. That," I enunciated.

Damon pulled himself away from the house and dusted off his button-up shirt. He noticed me looking him over and smirked; I looked away quickly and shrugged. "What? You know blue is one of my favorite colors on you, Damon," I said nonplussed.

He approached me slowly and looked down at my jacket and skinny black jeans. "Loving your new look. Especially the messy hair," he said, running his fingers through my tangled mane.

I pulled away and took the golden compass from his hand. "This is the one I found in the woods, right? It's a Gilbert family heirloom. I was too distracted that night to recognize it, I just felt its power," I said, flipping it over in my hand and opening it.

Damon eyed me warily, and I frowned up at him. "I'm assuming you know what it does, and you're not here to return it to its rightful owners," I said, closing it with a snap.

Damon looked away, his eyes focusing on everything around us. "There's another vampire in town. Sheriff Forbes showed up asking for my help finding it earlier today. Of course, my ever heroic brother wants to make sure everyone we leave behind is safe. So I need your help finding it," he looked back down at me and opened the compass that was still resting in my palm. "Using this. Figured it was the quickest way," he said.

I looked down at the compass, its needle focusing solely on Damon. "I can see your problem," I smirked. "Sure, I'll help. You run along. I'll wander through town until I get a hit, then I'll call you," I said, closing the compass and pulling my bag over my shoulder.

I reached inside it and pulled out the little black pouch I kept the Blackwood bark in, sliding it out and placing it in between my lips like a toothpick. I might just need the boost.

Damon took my wrist roughly. "You will not approach it," he firmly said, eyes hard.

I took my wrist, pulling away from his grasp, and narrowing my eyes. "And you won't treat me like an idiot. I'm not going to just jump into anything, but I will prepare for the worst," I said.

He leaned in and lifted my chin, looking into my eyes. "Be careful, Elandra," he said.

I brushed his cheek with my fingers and smiled. "I will be. Witches honor," I said, lifting two fingers and placing them on either side of my nose with a giggle. "I've always wanted to do that," I said with a gleeful grin.

Damon's confused and exasperated expression made me smile as I hopped down the porch steps, opening the compass as I did. I stood at the end of the corner and shooed him away. When he finally left, the needle on the compass faced north and stayed there as I walked towards the center of town.

—-

I stood in front of the warehouse, the cold screen of my phone pressed against my ear. "Just wait. I'll be there in a minute," Damon said.

I tapped the toe of my boot on the concrete as I waited. Damon popped up behind me, and I huffed in irritation, at least this time, I had prepared my senses for his sudden appearance.

"You sure?" he asked.

I handed him the compass and tilted my head. "Of course I am, Damon. When am I ever not?" I said.

Damon rolled his eyes and stepped into my personal space. I took a deliberate step back and twirled around him towards the door. "Let's go, Mr. Vampire. There's another one of you inside, and we gotta kill him," I said with a giddy voice.

Damon vamp sped in front of me with a snarl. This would be so much easier if I could just compel you," he groaned. "You can't come inside. I don't know who is in there. It's dangerous," he said.

I crossed my arms and, without even the tiniest movement, forced him to the ground, pinning him in the sprawled eagle position. "I think I can handle myself," I said.

I kept my body still and lifted Damon with my magic, enjoying the way his arms and legs flailed out around him like a rag doll. I gently lowered him to his feet with a smile.

Palms out, I pushed my hands in front of me. "After you, dearie," I said.

Damon yanked his shirt down and took the stairs leading to the door two at a time. He looked around us and quietly broke the handle, opening the door. I entered directly behind him, and he held his hand out, motioning for me to stay at a reasonable distance. I rolled my eyes and kept them on him as we went deeper into the dark warehouse. A squeak of someone's shoe was the first thing I heard before the sound of a gunshot. Damon fell to his knees in front of me as he was shot multiple times by someone in the shadows.

"I have a ton of these wooden bullets, so nothing funky," Logan Fell said.

Damon sat up and tried to remove the bullet from his arm. "You don't want to do this. Trust me," he said.

Logan shot him in the chest with a smile. That's what ya get," he said.

I stepped out of the shadows with an angry growl, red framing my vision, and flung him into the wall as hard as I could.

"Told ya," Damon gasped.

Logan groaned, standing and pointing the gun in my direction.

I lifted my fingers and smiled. "Go ahead. Try me," I said, beckoning him.

Damon cursed, but I ignored him. Red and anger was the only thing I could see. Logan took the shot, and I lifted my palm out in front of me, stopping the bullet in its tracks. It shook in the air between Logan and myself, shaking to move towards its target. He took a shocked breath, and I saw a fear flash in his eyes as he watched the wood start to disintegrate in midair as I slowly closed my hand.

"Just think of what I could do to a vampire, especially one who has shot someone I care about," I lowered my hand and stepped away from him, standing beside Damon, who was removing a bullet from his leg.

Logan followed me, and I narrowed my eyes. "Don't look at me like that, you witchy bitch. He did this to me," he said.

Damon growled, but I laughed and sat down, avoiding the blood.

"I killed you, I didn't make you," Damon said.

I reached over and tried to help remove the bullets, but Damon caught my gaze and shook his head. I blinked a few times but moved away, crossing my arms. Dropping the round he had removed from his chest with a groan, Damon leaned against his knee, and I watched, my teeth clenched. I would enjoy killing Logan.

"See, I know what you and your brother are. I've been watching the two of you, I knew you'd show up here, and I'm glad you did because I have some questions," he said, bending down next to Damon and patting him on the shoulder.

I sat straight and tapped my fingers on my knee with a firm warning in the way I narrowed my eyes in his direction. Logan stood, stepping away from us, his hands in the air.

"Whoa, you might want to watch yourself, little witch. You forget, I know your weaknesses and where to find them," he said with a smirk.

I stood in a rush of rustling fabric and flung him as hard as I could against the metal door behind him. The loud crunch of his bones meeting the hard surface a welcoming sound.

"And you forget who your threatening, vampire," I snarled.

The witch in me called for his swift demise. I felt Damon's hand on my leg and looked down.

"We need to know who created him, El," he said.

I yanked my leg away and looked down at his bloodied shirt. "I swear to the Gods, Damon…"I trailed off, pointing at his shirt.

He smiled briefly as Logan pulled himself from the floor and hobbled his way towards us. I kept my back to him, my shoulders stiff. I could feel him staring at me, but I knew if I looked at him, if I saw the way he kept staring at Damon like he was some superior God just because he had gotten the drop on him, then I would kill him where he stood. I focused instead on the feel of my nails digging into the palms of my hands, as I clenched them tightly. Logan began to speak about the night Damon had killed him, and my ears perked up in concentration. I had an inkling of who had turned him, but I couldn't be sure, not yet.

"I'll answer your questions when you answer mine. Who turned you?" Damon asked.

I could hear Logan lower himself next to Damon, his shoes scuffing the floor as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. "How should I know? The last thing I remember is, I had just shot my ex's pretty little niece, and I am about to stake your brother when you grabbed me,"

I turned slowly and sneered when Logan jumped slightly at the growl that emanated from deep within Damon's chest.

"That's it! Until I wake up in the ground behind a used car dealership on Highway 4. Somebody buried me," Logan snarled.

Damon pulled another bullet from his leg and leaned his head back, eyes scrunched up in pain. "Ow, it happens," he said, breathing heavily and wobbling slightly, blinking a few times.

Logan bent down and leaned into Damon's face. I took a step closer and dug my nails deeper into my flesh to control myself.

"You bit me," Logan spat.

Damon looked at the wooden bullet in his hand, his teeth bared. "Damn it," he angrily said, tossing it to me.

I opened my bloodied palm and ignored the different expressions on each vampire. I looked at the bullet and held it tightly in my palm. It was dipped in vervain, which made this whole situation worse.

"It had to be you," Logan said eyes hard.

Logan leaned closer, and Damon, who I could see, was losing his patience, narrowed his eyes to slits, and sneered. "You have to have vampire blood in your system when you die. I didn't do that. Some other vampire found you, gave you their blood," he spat.

Damon groaned heavily and fell back onto the ground. I lowered myself to my knees and sat behind him, pulling him against me.

"We're not going to be able to play this game much longer, Day," I faintly whispered in his ear.

I could feel him chuckle and see the small smile they briefly crossed his face. It had been a very long time since I had used that nickname. It was something my brothers had called him often, much to his displeasure.

"Who?" Logan growled.

Damon sat up further, wobbling from side to side, and looked at Logan in annoyance. "That's what I wanna know," he said.

Logan waved the gun around in front of him as he bounced lightly on his heels.

"Dude, it's not like the welcome wagon was waiting with a bundt cake and a handbook. It was a learn as you go process. You know, one minute, I'm a small town on the rise news guy, and the next thing I know, I can't get into my own house, because my foot won't go through the door," Logan said.

I snickered lightly, and Logan swung the gun in my direction. Damon's eyes flickered black, and I covered my face and frowned. "That's terrible, Logan. You have to be invited in, ya know," I said matter of factly.

I patted Damon's arm as he continued to pry the rest of the bullets from the various parts of his chest and legs.

"I know. I live alone," Logan said.

Damon chuckled weakly and leaned onto my arm. "That sucks," he said.

I bit my lip as a small giggle escaped me again, and I could feel Damon's chest shaking against my legs. Logan pointed the gun at us, and Damon sat up quickly, his body shaking with the effort.

"So now, I'm at the Ramada, watching Pay-Per-View all day, and eating everything in sight, including housekeeping," he said. I held onto Damon's shoulder and smiled at Logan with ease.

"It could be worse," I said, shrugging.

"All I can think about is blood and killing people. I can't stop killing people,"

Logan moved closer to us and smelled the air, smiling at me. Damon shifted his weight and moved closer to me, his body pressing against mine, the blood from his shirt sticking to my skin.

Logan laughed menacingly. "And I like it. I'm conflicted," he said.

"Welcome to the club," Damon sarcastically said, shaking his head in annoyance.

I snorted lightly, and Damon slapped my leg. I inhaled sharply and rubbed the stinging skin with a wince. Logan stood and looked down at us with amusement.

I tilted my head and looked up at him in confusion. "Wait a minute," I said.

Damon frowned and looked away from me and up towards Logan. "Cops only found one body," Damon finished.

Logan shrugged and sighed in exasperation. "I left one. I was tired. But I've been hiding the rest of the bodies. They're right back there," he said, using the gun to point towards an area behind his left shoulder with a grin.

I stood to my feet and walked behind Logan to find a small caged area, you could see the bloodied legs and arms of several bodies piled on top of each other. I covered my mouth and turned away, my eyes closed. I swallowed hard and recollected myself, trying to keep my emotions in check, this isn't over yet, and if I lashed out now, I wouldn't be able to stop, not this time.

"You're kidding," Damon said, looking over Logan's shoulder.

I could hear the laugh in Logan's voice and slowly walked next to Damon, reminding myself of the reason we were here.

"They're just piling up!" he said.

I looked down at Damon and sighed, sitting down next to him, and leaning my head on his shoulder. My phone buzzed lightly, and everything happened so fast I barely had time to blink. Logan had jumped, his attention turning on me, and vamp sped in my direction. Before he could reach me though, Damon reached up and grabbed his shoulders, pinning him to the ground, teeth bared and growling deeply, his vampire features masking his face.

"Don't!" he warned.

I pushed myself away from them and stood to my feet. "Hey, it's ok. It's just Elena. She's wondering where I am. I can just tell her I'm running late," I said, my hands raised.

Logan pulled away from Damon and ripped the phone from my hand, looking down at the screen. I sat down on my knees and took Damon's chin in my hand. "I can handle myself, Day. You have got to remember that," I said firmly.

He pulled away from me and kept his eyes on Logan, following his every move.

"Why aren't you at the school, Elara? Do you not plan on being human for college? You and Damon seem close," Logan smirked.

I plopped down next to Damon and laughed loudly. "I have no plans on becoming a vampire, Logan. Though, If I could, I would take it, believe me," I sighed, leaning my head towards the ceiling. I heard the shuffling of his feet as he lowered himself in front of me, and slowly let my head slump towards him, my eyes narrowed.

"Can witches not become vampires?" he asked in confusion, eyes curious. The corners of my mouth twitched, and I suddenly felt terrible for the guy. This wasn't his fault, and he was dealing with it the only way he knew how. I lowered my face into my hands with a groan and felt Damon moving closer to me.

"No, it's not that I can't become a vampire. I'm cursed," When he opened his mouth I held up my hand and placed one finger to my mouth mockingly. "Long story. So, when I said it could be worse, believe me, it could be," I leaned forward and got as close to him as I dared, one arm on my knee. "At least you get to live," I said.

Logan sat back and looked thoughtful. "Why am I so overly emotionally? All I can think about is my ex-girlfriend. I wanna be with her, and bite her, and stuff," he said, face full of childish confusion.

"The girl talk is all yours, Darling," I told Damon mockingly, patting his knee.

Damon sighed deeply and smirked. "Well, you probably love her. Anything you felt before will be magnified now. You're gonna have to learn to control that,"

I nodded in agreement. If Logan thought he was going to get within an inch of my Aunt Jenna, he was sorely mistaken.

"What about walking in the sun? I'm a morning person." he cocked his head, and I could feel Damon move his hand across his Daylight ring. "You can walk in the sun, which, by the way, is pretty cool. The council will never suspect you. That's not in the journals," Logan said with a smirk.

"The journals?" Damon asked.

I tilted my head and looked at Damon. "The founding fathers, they passed down journals to their children," I said with a crooked smile.

Damon narrowed his eyes and smirked. "Did they now?" he asked.

I bit my lip and looked away.

"Come on, man. Ya gotta tell me. How can you walk around in the sun?" Logan asked.

I could feel the tension in the room rising and stood to my feet.

"Who turned you?" Damon asked with a smirk. I paced in a small circle as they argued back and forth for a few minutes before Logan finally stood, his gun pointing at Damon again. "You know, I've been really nice so far, but I will kill you," he said.

I stepped beside Damon as he stood, taking my arm and pulling me behind him. "Then, you'll never know. You're not answering my question," he said.

I tried to pull my arm from his grasp but winced when my effort was matched with pain. He jerked my arm, and I stilled.

"You first!" Logan shouted, pointing the gun in my direction.

Damon's posture stiffened, and he backed me further behind him.

"Damon. I'm ok…" I whispered.

"It seems we're at a bit of an impasse then, doesn't it," Damon said, ignoring me.

Logan shifted and ground his teeth together. "I have things to do, people to kill. Guess I'll be needing a little head start," he said, firing the gun.

Damon let go of my arm as he groaned in pain and fell to the floor, several new wounds littering his chest and side. I looked up, glancing around for Logan, my breathing heavy. When I knew he was no longer here, I dropped to the floor next to Damon and slapped him on his uninjured shoulder.

"You stupid vampire!" I shouted.

His head fell back, and he groaned again, breathing heavily. "I could have killed him, Day. Then you wouldn't be lying here in pain and covered in bullet holes," I said, lifting my hand above him and slowly closing my palm.

The wooden bullets began pulling themselves from his wounds, he yelled in pain as the extraction blazed through him. Still, I continued on, sniffling past the tears that were trying to escape. Once the last bullet flew into the air, I flung them across the room and yanked my sleeve up.

"Here. Drink," I said, lying my wrist on his mouth.

He sat up and pushed me away, his eyes dark. "No. Don't you think I've ripped into you enough," he spat, standing up.

I shook my head and helped him steady himself. "And now you're going to start acting self-righteous about it? Ok, Stefan. I think the blood loss has gone to your head," I said, bending over and pulling my pocket knife from my boot.

I stood and quickly slid open the blade, slicing my wrist in one swift motion. Damon's eyes zeroed in on the blade and pushed me away. "What the hell, Elandra?" he yelled.

I raised my wrist and walked over to him, offering it up to him with a shrug. "You lost too much blood, Damon. Just take some, heal me, and let's go," I said.

I pressed my wrist against his lips, and he took hold of me, drinking deeply. I held myself still until he pulled away, lifting his own wrist to his lips and biting down. I pulled my arm back and cradled it against me as I drank from his wrist until the long red slash I had made was gone. I stepped away from him and wiped my mouth. "Now, let's go kill that bastard," I said.

Damon smirked mischievously and took me in his arms, ready to speed away. "Agreed."

"What were you thinking, Elara?! He could have gotten you killed!" Elena hollered from the other end of the phone.

I squinted and pulled the phone away from my ear, rolling my eyes in Damon's direction. He stood in front of his bedroom mirror, pulling his blood-covered shirt from his chest. He hollered into his own cell phone, where Stefan spoke calmly on the other end. Much calmer than my sister who was still yelling at me. Something about my untimely death? As if that wasn't imminent anyway.

I flicked my wrist with a heavy sigh and laid back on Damon's bed, my cell phone floating in the air near my ear.

"Listen, Elena. I can handle myself, really I can. If I want to help Damon, I am going to, and there really isn't a thing you can say that will change my mind. Yelling at me only makes me enjoy helping him," I said truthfully.

She scoffed on the other end, and I winced.

"That sounded childish, but it's true. I've never liked being told what I can and cannot do. Goes back to the days when I had no rights as a woman,"

I smiled when no sound came from Elena, and I looked up to find Damon standing over me.

"Listen, Lena. I'll see ya in a few. Bye," I said, reaching for my floating phone and hanging up.

"No rights, huh?" he asked, leaning down, one arm on each side of me.

"Yep. I hated it. So I don't really like reminders,"

He smiled down at me, and I opened his unbuttoned shirt, running my hands over his healed chest.

"Are you feeling ok?" I asked in concern, my brows furrowed.

He watched my hands move across his chest, and his eyes fluttered closed when my hands slid across his stomach.

"Much better," he said.

I leaned forward and rolled him over, sitting astride up. I slowly buttoned his shirt, keeping my gaze on his. His blue eyes glimmered in the firelight.

"Good. Next time, don't try and protect me. I don't need you too," I said, fastening the last button with a wink and a small flourish.

I tried to move away from him, but he held my hips tightly, a strange glow in his eyes. "You could come with me," he whispered.

I held my breath, unsure I had heard him right. "What?" I asked.

He sat up and held me close to his chest. "I'm leaving after this. I came here, for one thing, Katherine. Now that I can't get her, I'm leaving,"

He ran his hands through my hair, and I stayed still, shell-shocked.

"You could come with me, we could find a way to break your curse together, just us."

He watched me closely, and I felt tears run down my cheeks. "So, what you're telling me is, now that you can't have Katherine, you want me to run away with you, knowing full well that I am going to die?"

Tears fell onto my shirt. I slid off of him, and, thankfully, he didn't fight me. I wiped the tears from my face and chuckled.

"Damon, I told you I would not play second fiddle,"

I turned around and faced him. He had stood and started towards me, his face ashen.

"I also will not run away from my family. I will spend my last days here, Damon. Not playing Katherine's understudy,"

I wrapped my arms around myself, my heart dropping to my feet. Damon stopped his journey towards me and ran his hands over his exhausted face, his eyes hardened as he shook his head.

"That's not what I want…" he started.

I raised my hands and stepped past him.

"You don't even know what you want, Day. So please, spare me."

I stopped in my tracks and turned on my heel, meeting his oceanic gaze with a dry laugh.

"God, ya know, I'm being completely hypocritical. I don't really know what I want either,"

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration, another pair of blue eyes flashing in my mind's eye. I squashed the thought before it could fully form.

"All I know is, every time I'm around you, I get lost. After all this time...and even after everything you have done...I still love you." I gasped out, shocked by my own words.

I grasped my hair in my hands and closed my eyes for a moment taking in the words and the meaning behind them. When I had finally opened my eyes again, it was only after coming to terms with the truth. I did still love him, as bad an idea as that was, it wasn't something I could help. I looked at the man I loved, his dark hair disheveled, face pale as he stood as still as a statue, expressionless. His eyes never left my face, but I wasn't sure if he was seeing me. There was so much fear there, so much anger. His eyes were the only thing not blank. So many different things swimming through them and then just as quickly sinking back towards the bottom. I shook my head and brushed my hair away from my wet face.

"I should be over you, but I'm not, and it's killing me," I said, my hands fisted in front of me.

I closed my eyes tightly and enjoyed the way they burned. When I finally opened them again, Damon stood in front of me, his eyes cold.

"You can't love me," he said.

I stepped closer to him and shook my head. "Fine. I don't love you, then. Let's say I never did, does that make you feel better," I said flatly.

He took my wrists in his hands, and I looked away from him. "Don't say that. Never say that," he said.

I yanked my hands from him and walked swiftly towards his door. "That's what you want, isn't it? My hate?" I asked over my shoulder.

I didn't wait for a response; I just kept walking. I stood by the door and waved my hands over my feet before speeding away into the night.

—-

The intersection was clear as I stood in the middle, waiting. I felt a slight breeze and smiled. "Hello, Stefan," I said.

"What are you doing here, and how did you figure out where to be?" he asked, taking my hand and pulling me to the side of the road.

I inhaled deeply and sighed. "Well, I watched him kidnap my best friend and sped off ahead of him." I looked at Stefan in anger. "I'm going to fucking kill him, Stef," I said, my eyes blazing.

"I think we should let her have her fun, brother," Damon said.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Stefan narrowed his eyes at me, but I just shook my head. "Not now." I mouthed.

He nodded, and I smiled thankfully. Damon tilted his head and smiled.

"Here he comes," he said.

I stepped closer to the road and looked at the bright headlights that we're barreling towards us with an evil sneer. Stefan took my hand and pulled me back. "Let's allow the indestructible ones to go first, shall we?" he asked.

I bowed lowly and motioned for him to go ahead. "After you then," I said.

He grinned broadly, and I shook my head in amusement, clapping my hands. "This is going to be so much fun!" I giggled loudly.

Damon and Stefan watched me with odd expressions as the car slowed to a stop at the intersection. Stefan sent me a wink, and vamp sped to the driver's side, pulling Logan from the car and slamming him into the pavement as hard as he could. I stepped in front of the car and looked down at the startled Logan.

"Eh, 7 points, Stef," I said.

Logan stood and inched towards me, Damon came out of the woods, gun in hand and shot him in the chest. I smiled as Logan fell to the ground in a groan of pain.

"As much as I hate saying this; 10 points to Damon for flair," I sighed.

"Paybacks a bitch isn't it," Damon said, bending next to Logan.

I ran around the car and pulled open the passenger side, taking an unconscious Caroline into my arms. "Oh, Care Bear," I said, checking her pulse.

Stefan joined me, and I slipped her into his arms. "She's ok. Get her outta here," I said, brushing her hair from her eyes.

Stefan kissed my forehead and sped her away. I walked back around the car and found Damon talking to the Sheriff. "She's ok. I'm on Elm Street," he said, hanging up.

He tossed the phone into the car and walked to the back, opening the truck and removing the tire iron. I smiled brightly down at Logan and lowered myself to my knees. "We're gonna try this one more time. Who turned you?" I asked.

Logan looked at me and then back to Damon, who swung the tire iron like a baseball bat. "You better answer her. We've had an awful day, and I'm pretty sure taking some of our frustration out on you would make us feel a whole lot better," he said with a smirk.

I swung my hair over my shoulder and looked down at my nails. "I have to agree. I could definitely use a mood booster," I chirped.

"I told you I don't know," Logan panted.

Damon swung the tire iron again, and I applauded, running my eyes up and down his body. "Good form, dear," I said cheekily.

Damon smiled and looked down at the tool thoughtfully. "This tire iron here could take your head clean off." Damon held the iron over his shoulder, ready to swing, and looked down at Logan. "Is that your final answer?" he asked.

Logan looked between us, propping himself up on his elbows and shook his head at Damon in disgust. "How can you side with them?" he asked.

Damon arched his shoulders, preparing himself for an excellent swing, and sneered down at him. "I don't side with anyone. You pissed us off. We want you dead. Who turned you?" he asked.

"I don't know!" Logan yelled.

I stood and walked behind Damon, smiling at Logan over his shoulder. "Oh well. You're screwed," I said.

Damon winked at me and lifted the tire iron over his head and swung it towards Logan, who immediately raised his hands in surrender. "Wait, wait! I do know!" he pled.

Damon lowered the iron and rolled his eyes. "Your lying," he said.

Logan stood slowly, his hands raised. "Do you think your the only one who wants to get in the tomb underneath the old church?" Logan said quickly.

My eyes darted between the two. "Damon...don't…" I said.

He looked at me and shook his head. "If you're lying to me, I will end you," Damon said roughly.

Logan looked at him in fear. "I'm not lying. There's another way to break the spell. We can help you. Meet me at the old church," Logan said, breathing heavily.

Blue and red lights flashed in the distance, and I covered myself with a thick cloaking spell, my heart as dense as the cloud of magic that had begun to cover my body. I had known this was coming, but it still didn't make it any easier. Damons heartbreak was inching closer and closer.

Damon stepped next to Logan, the tire iron raised above his head. "Take me down. Make it look real. Make it look real!" he snapped.

Logan pushed Damon as hard as he could, lifting him into the air and tossing him into the car before speeding off. Despite knowing he was perfectly ok, I lowered myself next to Damon and looked him over. His blue eyes were bright and excited, even hidden under the fake mask of exhaustion and sadness he had placed there specifically for Liz. The Sheriff's car stopped, and Liz stepped out, rushing towards Damon.

"Where is she?" she asked.

Damon sat up with a groan. "She is ok. My brother has taken her home. I'm sorry, Sheriff. I just wasn't strong enough," Damon said, his voice raw with sadness.

I felt something soft brush my hand as I stood, but I ignored it, instead, heading exactly where I shouldn't.

I sat on one of the stones at the old Fell church, my eyes closed, the souls of the vampires beneath me calling out. I could feel them seeping through the dirt and stone.

"I thought I would find you here. You just can't seem to stay out of the thick of things, can you?" Damon asked.

I raised a finger to my lips and shook my head, eyes squeezed tight. He sat down next to me as I rubbed my temples gently. "There's so many of them down there. Sometimes it gets a little overwhelming. That's why I always avoided this place," I said, opening my eyes.

I placed my hands flat on the cold stone below me and took a deep breath. "I promise I will reunite you with her one day, Damon," I said, my eyes staring at the treeline straight ahead of me. "You deserve to find peace," I whispered.

Damon's phone buzzed, interrupting the silence that followed my statement. I listened to Damon's end of the conversation and understood more and more the bleaker his expression became. When he finally hung up, he looked at me in shock. "Someone killed Logan. Liz found his body," he said, standing.

He reached down and took my arm, pulling me away from the church. "Come on. We're going to figure out exactly how to get into this church," he said.

I lowered my eyes to my feet. "I'll help you in any way I can, Day," I said.

He stopped walking, and I bumped into his back, stumbling over a few rocks that had found their way in my path. He pulled my face up, brushing the hair out of my eyes, and smiled at me weakly. Moving his hand down my arm and into my own, he clasped his fingers around mine.

"Thank you, El," he whispered.

I returned his smile and gripped his hand tightly. "Let's go," I said with a firm nod.

He looked behind us at the church he so believed held the woman he loved, and gently pulled me forward. He sped us towards the Boarding House, the roads empty and quiet until we stopped suddenly. A few feet away, a car was lying upside down, and a man was inching towards it.

A Vampire.

I looked down at the car, and recognition spilled within me.

"NO!" I yelled, running forwards.

I moved my hand back and allowed it to fill with bright blue magic before flinging it at the Vampire. He stood still in shock, his eyes zeroing in on me, as the ball of blue hit him in the chest, flinging him backward. Damon sped past me after him. I flew to the driver's side of the car and slid onto my knees, the glass digging into my jeans. Elena was hanging upside down, unconscious. I tried to unfasten her seatbelt, but my hands wouldn't stop shaking.

"Lena?" I cried, feeling for a pulse.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I found one. I shook my hands profoundly, squeezing some life back into them before laying them on her belt and whispering a spell to release her. The belt clicked loudly, echoing through the car, as she slumped to the hood, her body limp. I took her by her shoulders and pulled her from the car, laying her on the concrete outside. I ran my fingers through long matted hair and checked the small head wound, relieved to find it didn't appear to be anything serious. I laid her head in my lap and cradled her as if she were a child.

"It's ok. You're ok," I said, running my fingers through her hair.

Damon came from the woods at vamp speed and lowered himself beside us. He leaned over Elena and checked her pulse before biting into his wrist and lowering it into onto her lips. She shook her head, trying to pull away, but I held her head still, forcing her to ingest some of the blood.

"Just drink," I whispered.

Once she had ingested enough to heal any internal injuries she might have had, he lifted her into his arms, maneuvering her over his shoulder. He then took my hand and helped me to my feet.

"Let's go. We gotta get on the road. I have no clue who that was," Damon said.

I looked around us and frowned. "I think he knew me, Damon. He had recognition in his eyes, but I can't seem to place him," I said, closing my eyes with a grimace.

Damon lowered Elena into his arms and nudged me. "Let's leave the strolls down memory lane for later, El,"

I rolled my eyes at him and winced as we moved forward. I looked down at my knees and noticed the blood seeping through my jeans. Nice. I ignored the pain and pushed forward.

"Can you get back yourself?" he asked.

I nodded and watched as he flashed out of sight. I looked down at my knees again and wrapped myself in magic.

This was going to hurt.

0 notes

twilightsporklez · 5 years ago

Text

For Want of a Nail, the Kin was Lost

Exactly two weeks ago, the world had entered the Darkest Timeline. Andrew Hussie, creator of Homestuck, had died from a heart attack at the ripe old age of sixty nine, and, as he had passed to the underworld, his creations had passed from the underworld to Earth. The constellations glittering in the sky, once beacons of hope, had loosened their chains and come down in order to destroy the world. The twelve trolls of Homestuck were alive, and they wanted humanity dead.

Story continued under the cut (cw: violence, death, gore)

Using their god-like powers, they first targeted power plants and the homes of world leaders. Then they came for the fans. They recruited readers of Homestuck in order to help them destroy Earth. Every one of them had agreed and had immediately sworn their loyalty.

Along with their rampages came another change. Everyone, overnight, had had their appearance changed to match that of their assigned zodiac kin. Deku, as far as he could tell, was a Vriska. He was pretty sure that his zodiac sign was Cancer, but maybe his birthday was on an edge day.

Deku had spent the first week hiding in his basement reading the entirety of Homestuck. His house had then been burned down by a rampant Sollux. Most of the city had been, actually. The only safe spots now were shelters with closely guarded locations.

He had spent the past few days wandering through the ravaged streets, searching for the location to a safehouse. The heat of the day beat down heavy against his cloak, but he dare not take it off in fear of burning his gray skin. According to a nearby spray-painted billboard, a brave Tavros had set up shop inside the EBGames he was standing in front of.

The surface was mostly bare during the day, but Deku was still cautious. He did a quick search of the surrounding parking lot before entering the lobby.

The doorbell chimed as he wiggled his way in. Deku pulled down his hood and waved at the Tavros.

"What are you in for today?" The Tavros wasn’t in character. Phew. Only those who had had quirks beforehand spoke with their typing quirk.

"Some food and a safe house, ideally." Deku turned and scanned the shelf that had used to house Nintendo games. It had a couple copies of the physical editions of Homestuck, along with a few handbooks for ‘your new troll body and you’. Deku sighed at the sight of them.

He heard a few thumps and some swearing, and turned around to find the Tavros bumping his wide horns against the door-frame of the back room. Ouch. Deku feigned interest in the handbooks to help the guy’s self esteem.

Along with the appearance and typing quirk of your assigned kin, you also gained their powers. Deku had been ecstatic at the news, but then, as always, inevitably disappointed, as it turned out that it only replaced your old quirk instead of fitting you with a new one. He was still powerless in a society filled with superheroes. Er, trolls. Quirk-having trolls were indistinguishable from the originals in every way other than their height, lack of limited immortality, attitude, and blood. Thankfully, everyone had kept their blood.

Tavros, having managed to not hit his horns this time, came back into the room carrying a couple loaves of bread and a map. "That'll be seventy dollars."

Shit. He didn't have any money. He didn't have any powers, either. The only thing Deku had, aside from his pure charisma and perceptiveness, was a bunch of weird paper that he had stolen while committing tax fraud. Wait. That's money. Deku paid quietly for the goods and then sat on the floor and took a bite of his spoils. Judging from the map, the safe house was three or four blocks away and pretty well guarded.

By the time he was finished memorizing the route, he had hungrily wolfed down an entire loaf of Wonder bread without noticing. Grabbing the remaining two loaves, he rolled up the map, pulled his faded orange hood back up, and left.

The constant surveillance of his surroundings turned a five minute walk into twenty, but it paid dividends. The original route shown on the map was crawling with Eridans looking for someone to take out their anger out on.

Happy with his avoidance of a close call, Deku examined his surroundings. The outside of the base was relatively hidden. It resembled a normal, beaten-up subway entrance. However, the bottom of the stairway was blocked off with metal and presumably, bullet proof glass with an open hole a the bottom, like at the movie theatres, or maybe a dentist. What were dentists hiding from? He would need to think about this immediately. He had time: there was a sign about someone being "OUT FOR LUNCH."

Just then, his phone went off. Labelled as the caller: "(Vriska)." Not one for dramatic pauses, Deku answered immediately.

The voice sounded female. It was hard to tell, because all they were saying was ‘doot’ over and over to the tune of some song that Deku didn't know. The audio quality was pretty bad too, like if someone made a SBAHJ podcast and then made it shittier. He hung up.

It was another ten minutes before someone came out. The Terezi had her hair cut short, and her left horn was chipped. She sat down in a chair in the booth and waved.

"N4M3??" Like eighty percent of the population, she had a quirk.

"Previously Izuku Midoriya. Currently assigned Vriska. Forgive me if I don't remove the hood."

"USU4LLY W3 CH3CK TH3 BLOOD OF SOM3ON3 B3FOR3 L3TT1NG TH3M 1N TO S33 TH3 BOSS BUT 1N YOUR C4S3 1T SHOULDNT M4TT3R."

Deku found that unsettling, but free room and board is free room and board, so he didn't question it. Terezi leaned back in her chair and slapped a button on the wall. The window between them swung open and Deku jumped back to avoid it.

“COM3 ON 1N.” Terezi moved her chair over to the side, and Deku saw that the interior was much larger than he had thought. It was a little bigger than a supply closet, and had pictures of various Homestuck characters plastered along the walls.

The space felt personal, so Deku didn’t lag behind when Terezi left down a hallway to the side.

After a short walk, the hallway opened up into an abandoned underground parking garage. The sturdy concrete walls were covered in graffiti, and most of the cars had doors busted open. Trolls from most of the hemospectrum were lazing around, talking and sleeping. All of them except for Cerulean bloods.

Maybe he should get to know the person—troll—currently leading him away from any witnesses.

Start simple. “Are Terezi’s powers any fun to use? I never had a quirk, so I’ll never get to experiment with mind-”

“1 DONT H4V3 4 QU1RK.”

“You don’t? Then why the typing quirk?” He would never have thought he would be having this kind of conversation.

“1 US3D TO K1N T3R3Z1. 1M V3RY S3NS1T1V3 4BOUT 1T.”

“I understand.” Deku did not understand, but he did not doubt for a moment that the 5’1” Terezi beside him could kill him instantly, even without a quirk.

Looping around cars, Terezi led him into another hallway, barking at some of the other trolls to keep it down during sleeping hours. They passed a few kitchens and supply closets, until winding up at an oak door.

"PL34S3 CLOS3 TH3 DOOR B3FOR3 YOU ST4RT BL33DING."

Deku hoped that she was joking. He took a breath in and opened the door.

An older-looking troll with long, tangled black hair sat in front of him. She wore a faded yellow robe with a sun poorly embroidered on it. Her tired face glowed a soft blue, and it scrunched up in seething hatred once all eight of her eyes saw who—what—he was.

Vriska shot her hand out towards him. Dice spilled out, zapping in the air and glowing brightly. "No dou8les!!!!!!!!!"

Deku pulled his hood on and ducked, narrowly avoiding certain death. "Wait!” Reminded of his conversation from earlier, he decided to lie. “I'm not a Vriska,” he said. "I'm a (Vriska). Completely different."

Vriska motioned for him to sit down. "Let's talk. And close the door 8ehind you."

It had been a few weeks since Deku had joined the underground group. He was sitting with the Terezi and Vriska he had met on the first day, conversing about possible long-term solutions to food shortages. It was difficult because they kept getting distracted and making out instead of getting work done.

“If we were to grow our own food above ground, we’d run the risk of being—er, 8eing tracked-” Deku cut himself off. A nearby Karkat had a knife in his hand. “Did you guys check everyone’s blood? I think that Karkat is about to kill someone.”

They stopped kissing and looked over to where Deku was pointing. Vriska reached into her bag and started rummaging through it. “First of all, not a dude. Second of all, o8viously I checked them all.”

Vriska pulled out a handful of dice and a tube of red chap-stick. Terezi gratefully took the chap-stick, biting into it like a Popsicle. They both stood up.

“WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG?” asked Terezi.

The Karkat smiled. “NOTHING.” He proceeded to walk over to a sleeping Sollux and pat him on the head.

“I have a new way to solve our food shortage. Reduce damand.” Vriska flung out her dice towards the red-tinged troll. They flashed and spun, until hitting the ground to reveal the damage count. Because of her luck, it was the maximum possible. Lightning shot out of the die and phased through the Karkat, killing him instantly.

Except, he wasn’t dead. He peeled himself off the pavement and dusted himself off.

Terezi turned towards Deku and Vriska. “OK4Y 1 TH1NK 1V3 FOUND TH3 PROBL3M. K4RK4T H4S MUT4NT BLOOD. TH4T 1S TO S4Y HUM4N BLOOD.”

Karkat nodded, as if to approve the theory. Apparently a blood test doesn't work if the one you're trying to find has freakishly normal human blood.

Vriska facepalmed. “This is so unfair. He never 8ecame a god in the alpha timeline!!!!!!!!”

The floor rumbled softly, and the roof started to crack and splinter. Beams of energy shot through the roof, and a large part of it collapsed. Hundreds of trolls streamed through the hole, carrying weaponry and a thirst for destruction. Homestucks. Did they not realize this conquest would result in the demise of humanity?

Initially filling the area with deafening shouting and pushing, they soon fell silent. A troll in a bright yellow robe floated above them, staring directly at the trio.

“It’s 8eneath me to ask nicely, 8ut please kill each other so that we don’t have to waste time.” She flipped her long black hair as if it were a simple request.

Deku, unsurprisingly, liked being alive. “What happens if we don’t?”

An enthusiastic Nepeta pulled out a gun and pointed it at him.

"Calm down. I'll deal with this 8ozo myself." Deku realized that floating above him was Her. The original Vriska.

He was doomed.

Vriska pulled out dice from her pocket and started playing with them in her hand. “I h8 doubles, 8ut I’ll give you one chance at redemption. Prove yourself a real fan and I’ll let you join my army.”

Deku considered his answer carefully. He didn’t have a lot of options. Better to go with something tried and true rather than lose at a Homestuck trivia contest. If it worked once, why not again? "I'm actually the original (Vriska). Don't kill me."

"It seems unlikely. Karkat, test her 8lood."

Okay yeah he was definitely doomed. Why did Vriska have to take basic safety precautions?

Karkat’s knife dripped with the yellow blood of a Sollux, and Deku cringed at the sight. Karkat came close to Deku, and took his arm in one hand. He carefully grazed the knife along Deku’s skin, letting the blood drip out for all to see.

Cerulean blood.

He was safe. But he was (Vriska)... And if he was (Vriska), then who was phone????????

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