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onlymingyus · 3 months ago

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What's your favorite scary movie?

pairing; vernon chwe x f reader

genre; horror, smut (minor dni), angst, toxic

summary; The summer after graduating high school is supposed to be one last hurrah before you and your friends head off to college---none of you expected it to become a horror movie.

content warnings; PLEASE READ ALL OF THE WARNINGS! 90s au, multiple murders, police, alluding to self harm, drugs/alcohol (mentioned and usage), overdose, knives, blood -- detailed scenes of harm/murder, funeral/memorials, fighting, bullying/harassment, degrading names, "slut" shaming, mild alluding to sexual assault (past/present), self confidence/esteem issues, depression, alludes to other behavioral/mental problems being present, crying, stalking/spying, obsession, yandere!vernon. all main characters are adults -- just graduated high school (vernon & other svt cameos have been aged down). the reader has a classic small town suburbs nuclear family (mentions parents obviously), vernon's "mother" briefly mentioned. this fic is full of really horrible people.

smut warnings; virgin!reader, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), quick handjob, crying (pleasure), corruption/innocence kink, petnames, praise, pulling out, cum on skin -- aftercare, brief post-sex dysphoria.

w/c; 30k and some change (870 extra words for patreon bonus)

a/n; thank you to @junkissed for proofreading for me and giving me strength to push through and finish this despite all the shit that kept trying to knock me down. this fic is a lot, so please if you have made it this far in my notes make sure you read all the warnings -- keep in mind this is my halloween fic, so i didn't hold back. dark au mars is back strong.

before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here

Trailing behind your friends, you laugh when your best friend Caitlin pulls at your arm, urging you towards the front of the group. “Y/N!” You roll your eyes as she whines your name, extending the last of it dramatically before laying her head on your shoulder and putting her arm through yours. “Can I sit between you and Christen this time? This movie is supposed to be hella scary.”

Hearing his name, the self-appointed leader of your group, slows his strides to match yours and, in turn, Caitlin’s. “What about me?”

You liked your friends but they could be a bit much. You had known Caitlin the longest. The two of you had been friends since middle school and she was the person you could rely on the most, but that all changed when the two of you went to high school and your bodies and personalities started to change. Boys started to pay attention to you more and Caitlin’s personality soured.

Christen wasn’t the type of person that you ever saw yourself being friends with before. He was the most popular guy at school and the captain of the football team, but none of those things mattered anymore. After graduation this year, you thought all of those trivial things would fall by the wayside, that your friends would start acting a bit less like they were still in high school and yet it was like they never left.

“Caitlin wants to sit between us for the movie. It’s supposed to be really scary. I don’t min—”

“You know I like the end seat.”

Furrowing your brows, you start to speak up again when Christen sighs and puts his hand around your waist, pulling you from Caitlin and causing the girl to scowl at you. “I like the end seat and you always have to piss like five times during a movie. Let’s keep the seats like we always do. That okay with you, Cat?”

Staring at Christen, Caitlin wants to be mad and tell him no, but the moment he calls her by the nickname he had given her, she swoons and just nods. “Uh huh… sure, Christen.”

“See.” Turning his attention back to you, Christen winks. “It’s all good, baby. Now, put a smile on that face; don’t be a buzzkill. If you get scared, you can just hold on to me.” Tugging you closer, he grins before finally letting you walk on your own.

From the time that you had met him your sophomore year, Christen had never been shy about how he felt about you. You wouldn’t call it a crush. A crush was something sweet and something that, if you didn’t reciprocate, the other person might move on. What Christen felt for you was possessive and like you owed him something. You were like a target or an end prize and he hadn’t won just yet, but to him there were still plenty of levels left in the game.

Wrapping your arms around yourself, you glance back at Caitlin as she scoffs at her "boyfriend,” Jae. You felt bad for him. It was so obvious how much he liked Caitlin. He would follow behind her like a puppy, buy her anything she wanted, and be at her beck and call even when she was drooling over another guy. You had watched as Caitlin had belittled Jae in front of others and refused to call him her boyfriend but then gotten angry if he didn’t refer to her as his girlfriend. It was a complicated situation that you honestly didn’t understand.

“Just… Stop touching me. Did you bring money for candy?” Caitlin’s voice is sharp, still irritated from the interaction with Christen and now Jae was walking too close to her. In her mind, she always got second best while you did nothing and got first pick. You didn’t even act like you wanted Christen; it was devastating.

“Yeah, of course I did. You can get anything you want, babe.” Jae’s voice is a bit defeated, but at least he was going to be able to sit next to Caitlin. He had gotten nervous when she had asked to switch seats. It wasn’t like he could tell her where to sit... he wasn’t like that. She was a strong-willed girl; she always had been, but that was one of the things he loved about her.

Making a face at Jae’s words, Caitlin steps forward and sighs dramatically, not hearing the way Alanna and Juwon copy her just a few steps behind her. They were the lucky two out of the friend group in their own personal opinions. They knew exactly where they fit in the hierarchy.

There was the king, Christian, and his would-be queen if only you would accept his hand. The princess who wants to be queen, Caitlin, and her dog turned prince, Jae. Meanwhile, Alanna and Juwon belonged in the court together. They were happy to cheer each of you on and laugh when you failed.

They had been dating since freshman year and a day hadn’t gone by that someone was complaining about seeing Juwon’s tongue down Alanna’s throat. Another strong opinion that the two shared was that if you didn’t want to see them making out, you could look in the other direction.

“Babeeeee!” Alanna whines mocking Caitlin as she pulls on Juwon’s arm, causing the boy laugh as he looks at her fondly. “Buy me candy?” Batting her lashes, Alanna blows a kiss in his direction that Juwon pretends to catch before reaching into his pocket to take out his wallet, handing it to her.

“My money is your money, princess.” Another wave of laughter erupts from the back of the group as Alanna pushes Juwon’s wallet back towards him. Now the two have caught the attention of everyone.

“The hell are you two doing? Are you high?” Christen’s voice is stern, but the layer of his own amusement only serves to make Juwon laugh as he shakes his head and pulls Alanna forward towards the doors of the theater.

“Nope, not yet. Give me a few hours and I’ll be so fuckin’ chill I might not remember your name.”

Smiling, you lift your fingers to your lips to hide it as Alanna pokes at your side when she passes by you, giving you a wink. For all their heavy PDA and following the leader's behavior, you got along with them well. They had been nice to you, even when your best friend hadn’t.

“Ugh, as if. You can’t think now, Juwon. This is why you two are going to a community college. You’ve fucking rotted your brains with weed. It’s gross.” Caitlin watches as Alanna throws up her middle finger before blowing her a kiss and disappearing behind the theater door. “It is gross. I’m right, aren’t I, Y/N?”

You tilt your head and struggle with what to say as you all get closer to the doors that your friends had just gone through. “I—well. It’s their choice.” Feeling bad that you can’t just tell Caitlin to shut up and to leave Juwon and Alanna alone, you find yourself muttering as she scoffs, turning her attention to Jae for support who gives it willingly.

Feeling the weight of having to agree with Caitlin off your shoulders, you unzip your bag, the air conditioner hits you like a breeze when Christen opens the doors and steps inside. You purse your lips and fish out a five-dollar bill, not paying attention to what’s in front of you until you hear Christen’s and another guy’s voice.

“Wassup, man? Still manning this place like a fucking loser?”

“Still making money, so yeah, if that’s what you wanna call it. Just one?”

“Nah, two. Me and Y/N.”

Furrowing your brows, you lift your money up to show it to Christen just as you see who’s behind the ticket counter. Vernon Chwe, another member of your graduating class. You didn’t know him well, but as often as you and your friends came to the movies, you saw him in passing. He was always nice to you, and he was easy on the eyes.

“Already paid for. See…” Reaching over the counter, Christen rips two tickets for himself before winking at Vernon and passing one to you.

You can see the irritation written on Vernon’s face, but he manages to keep his cool. He wasn’t like Christen or anyone else in your group. He didn’t hang out in the commons area or at the mall like you did. You knew that he worked here and that he had a cool car. You found him intriguing.

Moving towards Christen quickly, you take the ticket and look at Vernon apologetically. “I’m sorry. That was so rude.” Looking up at your friend, you whine, “That wasn’t cool, Christen...”

Instead of offering his own apology to Vernon, Christen just laughs and taps you on the tip of your nose. “Whatever, baby. Don’t get mad about it. I’m just playin’ with Vern. Come on. Let me buy you a snack.”

Vernon watches as Christen tries to take your hand but you manage to keep it from him. Tilting his head, he finds it curious. He didn’t know if you were dating the guy or not, but he didn’t like him; he never had.

“Um, excuse me... Dodgy, loser, man? I need two tickets.”

Turning his attention back towards Caitlin, Vernon sighs and rips off two tickets before taking $10 from Jae. “Enjoy the movie.” The moment she is out of earshot, Vernon adds, “Bitch.”

He could hear you and your friends at the concession stand. It wasn’t a busy night and the theater wasn’t running a full staff. If it had been any other group, Vernon might have put a bit more pep in his step, making his way over from the counter, but he could already hear the bitchy girl complaining, so he took his time.

“Oh, my god. Does this place not have anyone else working?”

Muttering for Caitlin to hush, you rub your neck as Vernon sighs and moves to the middle of the concession stand before lifting his hands. “What can I get for you guys?” He didn’t really care; well, maybe he cared what you wanted. You had been kind to him and it wasn’t the first time. Every time he had seen you here or run into you at school, you were nice. You were also gorgeous, so that didn’t hurt your case either.

“Two large cokes, a medium popcorn, and some M&Ms. Also, could you like... not take all night? The movie is supposed to start in thirty minutes.” Leaning on the counter, Caitlin watches as Vernon shifts his head to the side slightly before grabbing two large cups and filling them with ice. She remembered him from school and the other times they had been here. He was weird. She had a few classes with him and he had always sat in the back and avoided talking to people except when he had to.

“Oh my god, Y/N, do you remember Miss Lewis’ calculus class from that last semester?”

Taken aback by Caitlin’s question, you look from her back towards the counter before tilting your head. “I—yeah? What about it?” This was the type of thing that you hated about your friends. They lived in the past; every day was still a day of the glory of high school, whereas you were ready to move on.

“This dude was in that class. We had that stupid ass icebreaker, remember? Like a weird fact about us? He said he was allergic to peanuts.” Cailtin snorts into a laugh as she meets Vernon’s eyes, his brow lifting to her memory.

“Well—I, I remember—”

“Man, that must fuckin’ suck. Can you eat anything? What happens if you eat a peanut? Would you die? Swell up like a fatass.”

Juwon had been doing so well until that moment, but he was good at following the leader and at that moment Caitlin was playing her best queen bully bee role. Beside you, Christen laughs under his breath before leaning on the counter as Vernon tries to ignore them, fixing the rest of the order before giving the total to Jae, who slides over the money.

“Anyone else want anything? I’d hate for you to miss the previews because you’re being assholes.”

Surprised by Vernon’s words, the laughter dies off. No smiles are left except a slight one on your face.

Christen doesn’t say anything before he reaches over to take a box of milk duds from the display showing them to Vernon and tossing a dollar bill on to the counter. “Thanks for nothing, bitch.”

You try to stay; you want to apologize to Vernon for your friends one more time, but Christen’s hand wraps around your wrist, pulling you forward hard. “Let’s go, Y/N. You can share a drink with Caitlin. She didn’t need a fucking large anyway.”

The movie theater didn’t have many others besides your group. After a few stragglers made their way in finding a seat, you tried to settle into your own and focus on the screen. You weren’t the biggest fan of scary movies, but there wasn’t much to do on a Thursday and you had already spent too many days staring at the same stores at the mall.

When the lights go off completely and the screen lights up, you find yourself trying to make yourself smaller in your seat to keep your leg away from Christen’s hand when he stretches his fingers and smirks over at you. “Chill, are you scared already? It’s just the previews, baby.”

You wished that you had the guts to tell him to stop calling you baby and that you weren’t scared. You just wished that he’d keep his fingers away from the end of your shorts. Shaking your head, you offer him a strained smile as you lean towards Caitlin, taking a few M&Ms she offers you before eating one of them. “Not scared, just a little cold.”

“You want my jacket?”

God, you couldn’t win, but maybe that would keep his hands off your skin. Nodding, you watch Christen stand up despite the groans from those behind you. Taking the jacket, you lay it over your legs and smile a bit wider at him. “Thanks, Christen.”

Now Caitlin was regretting sharing anything with you. Tilting the box of candy away from you as she watches you tuck the jacket around your legs, Caitlin scoffs and takes a long sip of her drink.

By the end of the movie, you find that you don’t have that much to be worried about. It wasn’t as much of a scary movie as you thought it would have been. The acting wasn’t great and the story had been predictable. You seemed to be the only one who seemed to think that way as the rest of your friends loudly discussed how good it was as you all moved through the theater lobby.

Taking up the rear, you hold Christen’s jacket in your arms, waiting for the right moment to give it back to him until you see Vernon sweeping some popcorn off the floor near the concession stand. Maybe you could get in that apology now. Watching your friends for a moment longer, you let them keep going as you hang back and head in Vernon’s direction.

“Hey… Vernon?”

Furrowing his brows, Vernon lifts his head, sighing when he sees you standing in front of him. He hadn’t expected that, especially seeing you alone. Glancing around for your entourage, he’s surprised to see them closer to the front doors instead of right on your heels. “Yeah, what’s up? How was the movie?”

Opening your mouth, you close it quickly, not sure how to answer him at first, but you shift on your feet and smile at him. “It was—it was okay. I mean, I think everyone could guess what they did last summer by how guilty they were acting.” Shaking your head, you sigh and glance down at your hands, gripping the jacket tighter in your hands. You weren’t sure why Vernon made you so nervous, his gaze making your cheeks heat up with how his smirk pulled up at the corner of his lips.

“Yeah, not my favorite either, honestly.” Lowering his eyes to the jacket in your hands, Vernon takes a breath and shakes his head. He wasn’t an idiot; he had seen that jacket on Prince Charming—Christen, before the movie. “Did you need something, Y/N?”

You weren’t sure that Vernon even knew your name so hearing him say it startles you, but of course he did. You had graduated together and probably had several classes together. It was silly of you to think he didn’t know your name; even Christen had said it before the movie. Maybe it was more that Vernon was saying it. Why did it matter?

“Oh, no. Sorry, I know you are busy. I just—my friends, I’m so sorry. They aren’t always shitty.” Even you knew that was a lie, but that was what you did. You made excuses for them. You could see that Vernon knew it was a lie too, as he smiles and nods along with your words.

“Sure, it’s whatever. Didn’t bother me—”

“Y/N, what the hell are you doing?” Christen’s voice startles you with how close it is. Vernon watches how your body jerks in surprise and he furrows his brows, feeling a pang of anger taking over him at how someone could scare you so easily.

“I—I was coming. I just—” You weren’t sure what to say to Christen, especially when you meet his eyes and see him glare at Vernon. You had made it worse. Turning towards your friend, you sigh and laugh but even you can tell it’s fake. “Let’s go. We were going to get froyo, right?”

“What the fuck were you saying to her, freak?” Christen was fuming that you were talking to Vernon, but what pissed him off even more was that Vernon had been smiling at you. You had gone over to him by yourself and it looked like some loser was flirting with you. That wouldn’t happen, not while he was breathing.

Pushing at Christen’s chest, you whine his name before glancing over at Vernon apologetically as he shakes his head and leans on his broom. How wasn’t he afraid of Christen? You were friends with Christen and you were afraid of him at times.

The damage was done; the rest of your friends had made their way back over the concession stand, where the tension was growing thicker. Caitlin looked equal parts disgusted and amused as she watched Christen yell at Vernon. Jae stood behind her, confused look on his face as if he didn’t know if he wanted to be there or if he had to be there, and Alanna and Juwon were already laughing. That’s what they always did. They wanted to see a fight; that would be better than the movie to them. Meanwhile, you were horrified at the idea.

“Please, can we just go?” Your voice is strained as you push at Christen, unable to get him to budge.

His hand moves to grip your forearm, causing you to hiss in pain as he pulls you from in front of him and towards Caitlin, who wraps her arm around your waist, holding you closer to her and Jae. “I’m not leaving until I wipe this stupid smile off this freak’s face. I don’t like how he looks at you, Y/N. He’s a perv.”

Nodding along with his words, Caitlin hums against your hair as she keeps you close to her even as you groan in annoyance. “Totally, he was staring at her the entire time. Made me wanna hurl. Like, seriously, loser? You think you can look at my best friend and it’s okay?”

Now you were her best friend and she was protective of you? Only when she could make someone else miserable or make you miserable while doing it. Pulling from Cailtin, you tug on Christen’s shirt and beg for him to leave with you. “Please, can we go? You promised to buy me a snack and to get me home early.” Avoiding Vernon’s eyes as he grips his broom a bit tighter, his jaw clenched, you tug harder on Christen’s shirt.

Smirking at Vernon, Christen takes a step back, putting up his hands as if he’s being the bigger man. He moves towards you and Cailtin so he can wrap his arm around you and this time you let him. Vernon can see the discomfort in your eyes, his brows furrowing slightly, but what you are doing seems to work as Christen takes his jacket from you and sighs happily as if he’s won the girl, leading you out of the theater.

“You owe Vernon a night off.”

Wen Junhui looked bored as he watched Lee Chan leaning far too close to the television in front of him as he gripped the Sega controller in his hands. Vernon just sighs and shakes his head, dismissing his friend’s comment. He knew what Jun was getting at, but he wasn’t worried about it.

“I can work next week if you want me too.” Chan, or as he preferred to be called, Dino winces as his pixelated character is killed, taking him back to the beginning of the level. “What day were you thinking? I have an English paper due like Wednesday, so... if it could be after that—”

“It’s fine, dude. You don’t have to worry about it.”

“The fuck he doesn’t. Why didn’t you tell me those assholes were giving you so much shit, huh?” Jun knew that Vernon didn’t want to talk about what had happened at work, but he was getting tired of seeing his friend let people walk all over him because he was too nice. “Every single one of them is sketchy and I’m tempted to ask Seungcheol to get them banned.”

Now Dino was paying attention, the controller was back on the table and the game paused, letting the menu music play on repeat as he listened to his friends. Jun was pissed and Vernon looked as calm as always until Jun implicated everyone. That caused him to sit up and shake his head as he reached for one of the cheap beers the three had been sharing over the past week.

“Not all of them are assholes, alright? And I have it handled. I’m not fucking worried about Christen, his big ass ego or his little followers.”

Vernon had said it himself, Christen’s little followers. To Jun, that was all of them, and Vernon wasn’t changing his mind any time soon. “Yeah, whatever. Next time they come in and pull something, come get me from the box. Don’t just let them push you around. I don’t care if you think that one chick is hot or not. She’s still his bitc—”

“Hey!” There were very few times that Vernon raised his voice at either of his friends, so when he did it made the air in the room shift. “Just… Shut your damn mouth about her. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. Y/N… She was trying to apologize for the rest of them and then Christen—you know what? It doesn’t matter. Here.”

Pushing the can towards Dino, Vernon stands when the youngest of their group takes the beer and puts it on the table, watching him pull on his leather jacket. Jun shakes his head and lets out a long sigh when Vernon picks up the keys to his car and searches for his beanie.

“I didn’t mean to piss you off. I didn’t—look alright? Vernon, I didn’t know all of that. Ya, know, what Y/N did? I’m sorry I started to call her his bitch. I’m just… I’m done with them messing with you.”

Pulling his black beanie over his hair, Vernon shrugs and shoves his keys into his jacket. “It’s fine. I’m not pissed; I’m just tired. I’m gonna get home; I’ll see y’all later.”

Watching Vernon walk out of the room, Jun rubs the back of his neck, feeling a bit of regret wash over him. He knew he had pushed a bit too hard but Vernon had been acting off for months. He had known him since they were freshmen and neither of them had ever fit in, but they found their own way together. It was just lately Vernon was different; Jun felt like he didn’t know the person he called his best friend.

Gripping the wheel of his 1989 Chevy Beretta, Vernon sighs as he leans his head back against the headrest hard. It was starting to get late, but he couldn’t seem to get himself to go home. Instead he kept turning on to familiar roads, his eyes scanning the houses.

Vernon knew where he was. This was your street. The house on the right was yours, and the window with the light on, second floor… that was your room. Slowing down to a crawl, Vernon swallows hard as he leans to look at the curtains covering your window. He wished they weren’t there, as bad as that was. Sometimes he wished he could just get one glimpse of you instead of a shadow of you crossing in front of them, but he would take what he could get.

Sighing loudly, Vernon pushes his foot down on the gas and takes a right, leaving your house behind. Tapping his thumb on his steering wheel, a smirk pulls at his lips as he eases by Caitlin’s house. He supposed this was why the two of you became friends. It was more a friendship of convenience living a street over from your best friend. Christen, however, didn’t live on the street.

In fact, Vernon knew that Christen lived at least a fifteen-minute drive away in a gated community. So why was his car parked outside of Caitlin’s house? Wasn’t this the same guy who was threatening Vernon for daring to look at you and acting like you were his property?

Narrowing his eyes at the only window with a light still on, Vernon lifts his brow when he sees Christen pull Caitlin back against him. He was seeing a lot more of her than he ever wanted to. It wasn’t like Vernon was shocked to find out that Christen was sleeping with Caitlin. That made more sense than Caitlin dating Jae, but it didn’t seem like they were even trying to hide it. Not from Jae and not from you. Did either one of you know? Now he was curious.

Ten minutes later, Vernon puts his car in park and purses his lips as he looks around the street. There weren’t many cars for this to be an uppity part of town. Turning his attention towards the house he had stopped in front of, he starts to think that no one is at home until he sees a light on the third floor. It seemed that the person he wanted to see might just be home after all.

Shoving his keys into his pocket, Vernon sniffs hard, the colder night air biting at his nose as he makes his way to the front door of the nice house. Pressing the doorbell, he waits for a few moments until the door opens and Jae gives him a confused look, tilting his head.

“Uh, hey?” Jae was surprised to see Vernon at his front door. That had been the very last person he expected to see, especially this late at night. He knew Vernon better than anyone else in his circle of friends, but he would never admit it to any of them. Before he had been brought into the inner circle, he had been in a similar situation to Vernon’s; the major difference had been that his family had money and he could—and did—use it to climb the ranks. “‘Sup?”

Nodding his head in Jae’s direction, Vernon glances behind him, scanning for anyone in the house, but it all seems quiet. It appeared that Jae was the only one at home. That was good. It was better for what Vernon needed to tell him. “Hey, can I come in? I, uh…” Rubbing at the back of his neck, he tries to smile a bit, but it seems as forced as it is. “Just wanna talk to you about something.”

Was this about what had happened at the theater? Jae’s stomach was in his throat. He didn’t really want to deal with this, but he did feel a little shitty about how that had all gone down. He could have reigned Caitlin in a bit more, but... even he knew he was lying to himself. “Uh, sure. Yeah, come in. My parents are out of town so I’m not really supposed to have people over but—” Sighing to himself at how stupid he sounds, Jae shakes his head and gestures at the stairs for Vernon to go up. “Whatever, we can talk in my room. I’m on the third floor; my doors open.”

Lifting his brows, Vernon smirks a bit as he lowers his head and moves through the door towards the staircase. Jae sounded like a kid who was breaking his parent’s rules, not like a recent graduate who was going to some Ivy League school in the fall. Vernon knew he shouldn’t find that as amusing as he did, but it was fitting with how Jae treated everything else in his life—including his girlfriend.

“Cool, nice fucking place, man.” Jogging up the stairs, Vernon barely gives the house a second glance as he makes his way to the third floor and turns towards the open door. The room was decorated just as he thought it might be and yet it was still shocking.

The bed was made perfectly, books lined pristine shelves, and there were pictures of Caitlin everywhere. What was even more interesting was that there were only two pictures in the entire room that included Jae and Caitlin. This wasn’t a room; it was a shrine to Jae’s cheating, whore girlfriend.

Watching Vernon look around his room, Jae finds himself feeling a bit embarrassed and overwhelmed at having another person in his space. He wasn’t even used to having Caitlin in his room often. She didn’t come over much and when she did, it was more of a rare treat for Jae.

"I—uh, what did you need to talk to me about? Is this—look if this is about what was said at the theater—”

“Nah, man. It’s fine.” Shaking his head, Vernon keeps moving around the room, picking up a picture of Jae standing behind Caitlin as she smiles brightly. What he notices the most about the picture is how they aren’t touching, not even his hand on her arm. “She’s a handful, huh?”

Tilting his head slightly before straightening it, Jae looks at the picture in Vernon’s hand before crossing his arms. Where was this going? He was feeling more and more uncomfortable as the seconds ticked by, and he was wondering if he should regret letting Vernon in his house.

“I—she’s, sure. Sometimes. What’s this about? You said you wanted to talk about something.”

Putting the picture down, Vernon makes sure it is in the same place as it was before he rests back against the desk, his hands next to him on either side. “Yeah. You know, it’s funny. I drove past Cailin's. I was just driving around... You know how it is.” Tilting his head, Vernon meets Jae’s eyes as he sighs. “Anyway, it was funny ‘cause Christen’s car was at her house. I thought that was weird until I happened to see them in her bedroom window.”

Jae scoffs, starting to feel not only embarrassed but defensive of his girlfriend’s honor. What was Vernon doing looking in her bedroom window in the first place? Taking a step forward, he drops his hands, making them into fists at his sides. “Hey—”

“Not like she has up curtains. I wasn’t tryin’ to see your girl like that, scouts honor, but needless to say…” Moving his hands from the desk, Vernon puts them at his chest, cupping them like he would a girl’s breasts to make sure Jae understands, seeing the boy’s face flush. “Christen is banging your chick, dude. Just thought you’d wanna know.”

Taking a step forward, Jae stops and pushes his lips together, trying to think of what to say. It wasn’t like he didn’t know, but it was more the fact that Vernon was at his house and telling him about it. “Shut the hell up, you freak. First you spy on my girlfriend and then—then you come here to what? Try to—I don’t know what you want!”

“I don’t want anything, Jae. I was trying to help your stupid ass out.” Vernon’s voice is angry, a layer of malice the moment that Jae has the audacity to call him a freak. Everyone else had, but not Jae. The more that Vernon looked at him, the less he felt bad for him. Maybe he never had, how could you? He was pathetic. His room was a fucking shrine to a girl who probably only let him fuck her with his fingers so she could sit on another guy's cock. God… It was sickening, and yet he was the freak.

“I don’t need your fucking help! I want you out of my house.” As if realizing something—a metaphorical lightbulb coming on above his head—Jae moves towards Vernon, who shifts away from him, causing the two to move to opposite sides of the room. Jae stares at Vernon in front of the open bedroom door as he feels the breeze from the open window behind him as he glares at the other man with disdain. “How the hell do you know where I live anyway? You fuckin’ stalking all of us, freak?”

Vernon was seeing red; his jaw clenched tightly, he rolled his neck as a smirk pulled at his lips. His eyes move from Jae to the window behind him and all he can imagine is watching Jae fall out of it. How easy it would be to push him through the window and then the motherfucker wouldn’t call him a freak again. Taking a step forward, Vernon scoffs before speaking, his words quiet. “About that...”

His hands meet Jae’s chest hard, a surprised gasp slipping from the smaller boy’s lips as he tries to push back only to feel the desk beside him bite into his hip. The picture of him and Caitlin falls with a crash, glass shattering on to the floor, drawing Jae’s attention away from Vernon just enough long enough for Vernon to push him again, this time even harder.

Vernon listens to the strangled scream that leaves Jae’s mouth as the screen tears from the weight of his body before he falls through the window and three stories down. The deafening dull thud of his body hitting the pavement sends a shiver through his body even before Vernon leans out of the broken window frame to look down and see the blood pooling around Jae’s lifeless body.

In that moment, he knows he should feel bad. He should be scared. He should feel something other than a rush of adrenaline, but Vernon doesn’t. Looking around Jae’s room once more, Vernon moves back down the steps and out the front door, not giving the body another look. Getting behind the wheel of his car, he sighs to himself as he drives away, finally feeling like he can go home.

You wake up to the sound of the phone ringing from your desk. It sounds like a nightmare because surely no one is calling you this early. Even through your curtains, you can tell the sun has barely started to rise.

Groaning, you sit up with a groan as the phone rings again. Whoever was trying to reach you wasn’t giving up. Sliding out of bed, you sink down into your desk chair and pull the phone from the base, putting it to your ear with a sharp, “Hello?” If that didn’t make whoever was calling you regret it, you didn’t know what else would.

“Y/N!”

Caitlin’s sobbing voice makes your heart drop into your stomach immediately and you feel horrible for picking up the phone angry. Shifting in the chair, you switch which shoulder you rest the phone on, your fingers twisting into the already ruined phone cord as you anxiously furrow your brows, almost afraid to speak. “Wha—”

“He’s dead, Y/N! What the fuck? Like, seriously?” Sniffing hard, Caitlin rubs hard at her nose as she lays in her bed, her own phone tucked between her ear and shoulder. “The police said it could be an accident or he might have...”

You could hear the way her lips were quivering as Caitlin tried to speak, but you still weren’t sure who she was talking about. “Who, Caitlin?”

“Oh, my god! Jae! Jae’s dead!” Caitlin’s voice is shrill, causing you to pull the receiver away from your ear slightly as you swallow hard the reality of her words hitting you. “Why are you making me say it out loud? It’s already so hella depressing. I’m like a widow; it’s gross.”

Glancing towards your bedroom door, you try not to feel anything negative about your best friend while she’s grieving, but she was going about it in a strange way. You knew that she didn’t care about Jae, not in any way that she could claim widow-like status. She treated him like shit most of the time, but you weren’t going to say that to her now. You weren’t that type of person. You were the person who coddled. “I’m so sorry, Caitlin. Do you want me to come over?”

Whining, she nods before pouting into her words, hoping to make you feel even worse for her. “Yeah, could you? That would totally help me feel less shitty.” Before you can even reply, a single breath of a word starts to leave your mouth. Caitlin speaks over you. “Oh, and Y/N? Could you bring me Taco Bell?”

You lean your head back; the urge to roll your eyes is so strong but you keep it at bay as you nod to yourself. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be there in like an hour.”

Hanging the phone up, you close your eyes, your brows knitting together tightly once you can hear yourself think. Jae was dead? How? Caitlin had mentioned an accident, but you didn’t have any other details. You knew he didn’t like to drive, maybe something with one of his parents cars... Not wanting to picture anymore gruesome things, you force yourself to stand and move to your closet to get dressed.

Vernon tilts his head as he watches you cross your arms, your keys dangling from your fingers as you wait in line in front of him. You looked beautiful. It was rare that he saw you out like this on a normal day, but lucky for him, he had been craving some food, and tacos seemed like a good choice.

Taking a step towards you, Vernon takes in a deep breath and just enjoys the overwhelming scent of your perfume and body wash. He wished he had more courage to speak to you, to let you know how much he was into you, but you were the sun and he was like a dark cloud. Least that’s how it felt...

“Hey, uh…”

Vernon sighs as he listens to you place your order, your voice like the sweetest song on the radio. He'd play your voice on repeat if he could. Getting lost in listening to you, Vernon doesn’t realize you are done with your order until the boy at the register lifts his brows and hands in question. “You wanna order something, dude?”

“Uh… yeah.”

You knew that voice. Turning towards the source of it as you reach to take the cups in front of you, you can’t help the small smile that lifts at your lips as you see Vernon. You hadn’t realized he was behind you. It kind of made you sad that he was and hadn’t said anything, but it made sense after what had happened at the theater. You couldn’t blame him for being upset with you.

Meeting Vernon’s eyes, your smile brightens slightly before you look away and move out of his way so he can get a cup as you move to the drink machine to fill your drinks. You can feel Vernon’s eyes on you even as you move, your fingers pressing down the buttons. The heat of his eyes makes you feel shy and warm as you listen to him move closer to you until he finally stands next to you, filling his own cup with soda.

“Weird seeing you alone.”

Vernon watches your cheeks push up towards your eyes before you glance towards him when he does speak to you. You shrug and take a step backwards towards the lids and straws, taking two of each and letting Vernon move towards you to do the same.

“I do things alone sometimes. It’s weird to see you somewhere besides the movie theater. I almost started to think you lived there.” Keeping your eyes on Vernon, you bite subtly at your bottom lip as you move towards the counter to pick up your bag of food just as they put Vernon’s next to yours.

“Mm, that’s fair. I don’t do much besides that, but in my defense, you don’t really know me, so…” With his own food in his hand, Vernon grins at you and you feel your heart beat hard in your chest. You aren’t sure you have ever seen him smile like that and you aren’t sure anyone’s smile has ever effected you in that way before.

Vernon watches you look away, one drink in the crook of your elbow as you hold the other so you can hold the bag of food in your other hand. Gesturing towards the door, he takes a breath, letting it out slowly as if he’s gaining courage before speaking to you again. “I can help; you seem like you have your hands full. You, uh… Lunch for your family or something?”

He was sweet; this was the most you had probably ever really talked to Vernon and he was being a gentleman. It was nice not to have your friends hovering around you and being assholes to him. Letting him hold the door open for you while you maneuver through it, you glance back at him and shake your head, letting out a soft sigh. “No, I’m going over to Caitlin’s.”

Vernon notices how your words seem to fade off at the end and how your smile dulls. Following you to your car wanting to help you, he furrows his brows as he offers to take the food from your hands as you unlock your car, seeming to struggle with your words. “She’s—it’s a hard day. You know Jae, right? One of my friends?”

Of course he did, but Vernon keeps his cool and just shrugs his shoulders, letting you continue. “Uh, Caitlin’s boyfriend. The one who was following her around last time.” Getting a nod from Vernon, you lean in your car to put the drinks into the cup holders before taking your food from him. “I guess something happened last night—an accident. He passed away. She’s super upset. So I’m gonna go spend the day with her.”

You were a good friend, better than Caitlin deserved in Vernon’s opinion. He knew for a fact that Caitlin didn’t give a shit about Jae and the fact that he was dead. She was using this for attention, but you were giving into it because you were sweet and that was all you knew how to do. If he had his way, he’d take you away from it and give you attention. Shaking his head, Vernon furrows his brows, leaning against your car door, giving you a solemn look. “I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

It wasn’t lost on you that Vernon asked if he could help you and not Caitlin, but it still made your heart feel warm. He was such a good guy, so kind and soft. He didn’t deserve the treatment that the rest of your friends gave him. Shaking your head, you pout softly before letting it shift into a gentle smile. “No, I’m okay... I—this was really nice, Vernon. I like talking to you. Um…”

Leaning into your car once again, you put the food down and reach into your purse as Vernon watches you carefully with a raised brow. He agreed, it was nice to talk to you. He was trying to be respectful, but you made it a bit difficult. Your shirt was riding up your back and you were so fucking pretty. He couldn’t help the way his eyes were moving along your skin as you searched for—

”Ah! I was looking for a pen. Can I give you my number? Maybe you could call me sometime.”

You wanted him to call you? Vernon’s head was spinning. He must be in another dimension where he wasn’t a loser because you were looking at him expectantly as you held your cute purple pen. Nodding, Vernon smiles to one side, watching your smile grow in return as you reach for his hand, pulling it towards your stomach and turning his palm over. The pen tickles Vernon’s hand, but he can’t stop staring at your fingers and the way the pen glides over his skin as you put the numbers on his palm.

“It’s my own line, so like, my family won’t pick it up. As long as I’m not using my computer, you can reach me there, okay?” Tilting your head, you trail your fingers from Vernon’s as his lips part with a soft breath. He was so handsome it was almost devastating to you. How had you never noticed him in school? You knew the answer to that, but you wished things had been different in that moment.

“Yeah, I—sure. I’ll call you.” At least that’s what he was telling himself. Would he have the courage to actually do it? Vernon wasn’t sure in that moment, but he knew he wanted to.

“Cool. Thanks for helping me get to my car, Vernon. I’ll talk to you later.”

Standing there like an idiot for a moment longer, Vernon nods before taking a step back from your car as you slide behind the wheel, waving at him before backing out. Glancing down at his palm once more, he closes his fingers around your number and smiles to himself before turning on his heels towards his car with a bit more pep in his step.

“I’m literally fucking starving. What took so long?” Taking the bags from your hand, Catiltin pouts at you as she sits with her legs crisscrossed in the center of her full-size bed.

You could tell she had been crying. Her eyes were a bit swollen, with slight circles under her eyes, but there was still something about the situation that made you fully aware that Caitlin wasn’t mourning Jae as much as she was her reputation.

“I’m sorry, I got here as soon as I could. You know things are busier on Saturday.” Sliding on to the bed next to her, you furrow your brows before leaning in to hug Caitlin, feeling her shoulder’s drop. You were a good friend. Despite feeling and knowing what you did, you were still concerned about her. You hated that this had happened, and the truth of the matter was that you were sad. Jae was your friend.

“Has—well… Did anyone say what happened?”

Your voice is quiet and the question causes a new wave of tears to spill from Caitlin’s eyes as she chokes on her words, only managing to get out a couple before she’s cut off.

“Splattered on the sidewalk under his window.”

Horrified, you look over your shoulder towards the doorway where Christen leans against the frame. You didn’t even know he was there. Had he gotten to Caitlin’s before you? Just now? It didn’t matter, you supposed; you assumed everyone would end up here eventually.

Your eyes follow Christen as he moves to the bed, taking the bag of tacos to take one for himself. You hadn’t bought them for him, but that had never mattered in the past and it doesn’t matter now.

“You’re always so sweet, baby. Thinking ahead and getting lunch like this.” The bed dips at your side as Christen joins you both and Catiltin sniffles hard, getting the attention back on her as she opens her own food.

“Could we like... I don’t know, not say splattered? It’s so gross, Christen.”

Shrugging, the boy swallows a bite of food before sighing into his words. “Sorry, that’s what happens when you launch yourself out of a fuckin’ third-story window, babe.”

Babe? Furrowing your brows, you let your eyes move from Caitlin to Christen as your best friend blanches slightly and puts her taco on the wrapper to the side.

“He—that’s not what he did. The cops said it was an accident. He just fell somehow. Some freak accident—”

“I’m sure it was an accident. Jae would never… you know.” Your voice is softer than Caitlin’s and Christen’s combined, but it manages to draw both of their attention to you. You couldn’t say what Christen thought happened; you couldn’t get that word out. Not just because it was too hard to even think, but also because it just didn’t make sense. Jae wasn’t depressed. He had a charmed life.

“Sure, baby… But listen, you know Jake, the tight end?” Sighing softly, you tilt your head at Christen’s question. While you knew who he was talking about, you didn’t think it was important to label him as his position from the high school football team, but what was the point in arguing—so instead you just nodded. “Well, he’s lives across the street from Jae. Said the cops were out there all morning and he overheard one of them talking about some things that just didn’t add up with an accident—”

“Christen! Do you, like, hate me? I’m a fucking widow now and you want people to think that my boyfriend killed—” Lowering her voice, Caitilin whines when Christen furrows his brows at her, only for them to soften when he sees the hurt in her eyes. “Just—this is scary, okay? What—did Jake say why they said that?”

As much as you hated to admit it even to yourself, you were also curious as to what Jake had overheard. Shifting on the bed, you turn a bit more towards Christen, who straightens his back and lets a bit of a smirk pull at his lips, having so much attention focused on him.

“Yeah, so just what he heard, okay? But he said Jae’s nails were fucked up and that there were scratches on his desk. Like, maybe he regretted it just before he—” Seeing the look on your face, Christen presses his lips together and tilts his head, changing his words. “Like he tried to stop himself from falling out the window. Oh, and uh...” Furrowing your brows, you see a nervous look spread across Christen’s face as he meets Caitlin’s eyes. “There was a broken picture or frame. Could’a been thrown on the floor.”

“What picture?” Moving to sit on her feet, Caitlin’s eyes widen slightly, causing you to sit back a bit confused as she waits for Christen to explain.

“I—he wasn’t sure. All the really said it was of a couple, but seeing as it was Jae’s room…”

Even you didn’t need anymore explanation. You had never been in Jae’s room, but who else would be in the picture? Why would a picture of Jae and Caitlin be smashed? Your eyes move between your two friends as Caitlin falls back against the bed with a new wave of grief, as if she’s realized something. Christen, on the other hand, just sighs and reaches for your drink, taking a sip before meeting your eyes.

“You look freaked, Y/N.”

That was an understatement. Shaking your head, you rub your hands over your arms before scooting closer to Caitlin to rest your hand on her thigh, letting her know you were still close to her as she cries. “I’m just—this is really sad. It doesn’t make sense, and he was so excited about starting university. I feel really bad for his parents.”

Nodding along with your words, Christen leans to put your drink on the nightstand before leaning back on the bed, letting his hand rest near your leg. “It fuckin’ sucks. I mean… It’s fucked up. Like the weak ones, man. Why do they gotta die before they get the chance to make something of themselves?”

You stare at Christen as he speaks; his words are almost said as if he’s quoting something poetic or profound, though to you it’s heartless and ridiculous.

Leaning against the end of his bed, Vernon runs his fingers over the fading numbers written on his palm. Hours had passed, the sun had gone down, and now the only thing left to remind him that he had actually seen you today was slowly dissolving into his skin.

Jun and Dino were occupying the beanbag chairs in front of the TV as some movie played, something that Vernon had seen a hundred times. He knew he should be paying more attention to his friends, but instead he was trying to commit your phone number to memory.

“During the matinee today.”

“For real? Cops? What did they say?”

Vernon’s brows lift, realizing he hadn’t been even listening to the conversation until cops were mentioned. Shifting on the floor, he sighs and lifts his eyes to watch Dino pass the bowl of popcorn over to Jun as he shrugs.

“Were asking questions about that guy you all graduated with? I don’t remember his last name, uh—Jae, that’s his first name. He said he had a movie ticket in his pocket or something. Not sure why it mattered. They just—”

“They what?”

Vernon had been so quiet over the past hour that both of the boys had almost forgotten whose room they were in and that he was even there until he spoke up. Glancing back at him, Dino shakes his head and shifts in the chair, almost uncomfortable under Vernon’s gaze. Vernon could be intense sometimes; Jun might not notice it, but Dino always did.

“Nothin’ really. Asked if he seemed like himself when he came by. I told them I didn’t know him that well and that I had been off that night. They said they would probably stop by and talk to you tomorrow. Is—why? That not okay?”

Moving to his feet, Vernon shakes his head and shrugs. He didn’t like the idea of talking to the cops, but it didn’t seem like he had much of a choice. “It’s whatever. I didn’t know him either.”

“That’s not true.” Shooting a look back at Jun as he speaks, Vernon scoffs even as Jun lifts his hands and sighs into his words. “I mean—not like you were friends with him, but you knew him a bit.”

“Whatever, I didn’t hang out with him. I had a class or two with him and he came into the theater. Didn’t make me his best friend, Jun. Why the fuck does it matter anyway?”

Jun furrows his brows and shakes his head. He watches Vernon reach for a pen, looking at his hand as he transfers something from it to a piece of paper, then tossing it on the desk. “I–well… It doesn’t, but you might have noticed if he was acting out of his head maybe. People are saying he fell out of his window, or—you know. Maybe he wanted to fall out of it.”

Scoffing, Vernon turns to lean against his desk, an uncaring look on his face. “I mean, wouldn’t you if your chick was a lying whore? Not sure he ever acted like he knew what he was doing from the moment he started dating that girl. It was like putting one foot on a banana peel and his neck in a noos—”

“Jesus Christ, Vernon.” Shivering, Jun cuts Vernon’s words off before he’s able to finish. He had heard Vernon be callous before. He had seen him uncaring and perhaps act like a dick, but never like this. “It was an accident. It’s tragic…”

Nodding slowly, Vernon sighs as he tries to remember what he’s supposed to feel in a moment like this. He can see the look on Jun’s face—something akin to sadness. Dino, on the other hand, looked a little sick, horrified as he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to be smaller.

“Yeah, it’s sad; you’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s up with me. I’m just tired or something.” Shaking his head, Vernon moves back towards his friends, lowering himself back to the floor and offering them a smile that seems to soothe them both. “I saw Y/N earlier today; she seemed to be kinda tore up about it too. She was going over to—uh, Cailtin’s. She’s a good friend.” Gritting his teeth slightly, Vernon forces himself to say her name instead of anything else out of respect for you. In his head, Caitilin didn’t deserve anything but what she was going through.

Tilting his head slightly, Jun watches Vernon talk about you. There was a stark difference in how he mentioned you compared to anyone else. While he knew that Vernon had a crush on you, if he was talking to you, maybe he was wanting more. More could be dangerous.

“You saw her? Where? Was she alone?”

Vernon knew why there was a barrage of questions, but it only served to annoy him. Leaning his head back, he sighs and nods along with each one. “Yes. Taco Bell. She was alone. Why the fuck does it matter?”

“Because, Vernon. She's—look, I get it. She’s cute as fuck. She’s nice, but he’s got his claws in her. He’ll kill you if you try anything. Some ass isn’t worth it. I don’t care if the ass is prime—”

Glaring at Jun, Vernon bites at his cheek until he snaps. “Why do you talk about her like that? Do you even know her? Have you spoken a single word to her?” Shaking his head, Vernon rubs hard at the numbers on his palm now. “Of course you haven’t because you are too fuckin’ judgmental and too chicken shit. Just think that because she’s standing next to Christen, she’s just like him. Well, newsfuckin’ flash, Junhui, you aren’t the genius you make yourself out to be.”

Dino had been quiet—he always was, but he hated the tension and arguing between his friends. No one was worth putting a wedge between his best friends, especially some girl. “Hey! Stop it. Why are you two always doing this now? Every fucking week!” Staring up at Dino, Vernon swallows hard as the youngest stands up and points from Jun to him. “If he likes his girl, so what? Lay off! And you…”

Swallowing hard, Dino falters for a moment as he meets Vernon’s eyes. It takes a deep breath to calm down before he can round his shoulders and speak up to Vernon. “Jun is your best friend and you’ve never been such an asshole before. If you need to get your dick wet, do it. If you need to get high or drunk, please... Just do it before you say something you can’t take back.”

Vernon stared at his television for a long time after his friends had left, thinking about what Dino had said. To be a year younger than him, the boy was wise beyond his years and he had a point. He knew that he was wound up and he had been taking it out on Jun in particular for weeks.

There had been some relief when Vernon had left Jae’s, but then he would be reminded about Christen and his bullshit and be right back where he had started. The anger was building until he felt like he might just snap.

Glancing towards his desk, Vernon lifts his brow, seeing the piece of paper with your phone number written on it. It wasn’t incredibly late, but it was the weekend. There was a good chance you were still at Cailtin’s or worse... You could be out with the rest of them doing something, trying to take your minds off of Jae—but Vernon still wanted to try.

Pulling the phone from the desk along with the piece of paper, Vernon sighs as he leans back against the side of his bed. He rests the receiver between his shoulder and ear before carefully dialing your number and waiting. You had said it was your own line, and somehow that didn’t stop Vernon from letting Jun’s words get the better of him for just a single moment. What if you gave him a fake number? What if Christen picked up? But neither of those things happened.

“Hello?”

Your voice is beautiful, a bit sad, and confused. Vernon has to take a deep breath to stop himself from hanging up the phone when you furrow your brows and listen to the sound of breathing on the other line. Clearly someone was there; it wouldn’t be the first time you had gotten a crank call, but today really wasn’t the day for it.

“Hello? Look, seriously… I’m not in the mood—”

“Y/N… Sorry, it’s me, Vernon.” Wincing to his own voice, Vernon pulls on the phone cord in his lap and weighs his regret as he listens to you take a deep breath in response. You had hoped that Vernon would call you, but you hadn’t expected it. He seemed so different from you and the rest of your friends that he was almost like a life preserver at the moment.

“I—oh… Hey. I—I’m glad you called. I’m a little surprised.” Closing your eyes for a moment, you lean your head back, trying to think of how to salvage your conversation, thinking you might have ruined it before it started. “I promise I don’t always sound like a bitch when I answer the phone.”

Vernon’s laugh brings a much-needed smile to your face and warmth to your chest. Shaking his head, he tries to picture you in a room he’s never seen besides a light behind a curtain. “You didn’t sound like a bitch. I—I didn’t exactly start speaking so I get why you said what you did. I’m not really like, you know, a great conversationalist.”

And yet he had called you anyway. That wasn’t lost on you as you stood up from your desk and worked the cord for your phone around it so you could sit on your bed. Vernon listens to the sounds of you moving in your room and it brings a slight smile to his face. “How are you, by the way? You said you were going over to your friend’s house.”

He remembered. Leaning your head back against your headboard, you bite your bottom lip and nod. “Yeah, I spent most of the day at Cailtin’s. It was honestly exhausting.” Sighing, you close your eyes, realizing how bad your words sound, causing you to shake your head. “But—I… You know, I’ll do it anytime. She’s going through a ton right now. I’m—”

“Y/N… I didn’t ask about her. Sorry, that sounds really shitty, but I’d rather talk about you.” Vernon didn’t want to cut you off, but he couldn’t stand that you were spiraling because you felt bad for Caitlin. In his opinion, she didn’t deserve anything, much less you in her life. You were far too good for her, not that he could just say that out loud to you now. “Don’t get me wrong; it’s really nice of you to do what you did. Is it cool if we just talk about you?”

That was almost a terrifying prospect—someone wanting to focus on just you. Christen did it in his own way, but it always led back to him. There was always an ulterior motive, and yet it didn’t seem like Vernon had one. Shifting on your bed, you rest the cradle to your phone next to you as you pull your knees towards your stomach.

“Sorry, yeah… Yeah, we can do that, but only if we talk about you too. Is that okay?”

You were apologizing again. That seemed to be something you did a lot and usually not for yourself. Shaking his head, Vernon smiles into a sigh before lifting his brows. “Yeah, that’s okay. I—I kinda wanna get to know you. God, that sounds so fuckin’ lame.”

Warmth spreads along your cheeks at Vernon’s words and you are happy he’s just on the phone and not in front of you. Pressing your lips together, you swallow hard and bury a bit of a happy sound as you pull the phone from your ear briefly before calming yourself down and clearing your throat. “It’s not lame. Why would that be lame? I mean, I wanna get to know you too. I gave you my number for a reason... Like, obviously.”

Listening to how your voice trails off with a bit of shyness to it, Vernon can’t help the grin that pulls at his lips. There was no way you were actually into him the way he was into you. You probably just wanted to be his friend, and if that was the case, he’d have to deal... But the tone of your voice—the cute little giggle to it—made his stomach tighten with intrigue.

“Oh—oh, yeah?” Clearing his throat, Vernon lifts his hand to rub at his neck, feeling how hot it is under his touch. He knew if he were to look in the mirror, it would be red along with his ears. There would be no way he would have called you with Jun and Dino in the room; if he was this shy and embarrassed alone, he would have died in front of them. “Wha—what’s the reason?”

Despite being new adults, fresh into the world, there was still a layer of that schoolgirl and boy whimsy layered in the conversation that made you kick your feet when Vernon stumbled over his questions. You had a feeling he knew the answers to his questions, but he was just wanting to hear them out loud. The real question was, would you be able to say it out loud?

Whining Vernon’s name softly, you wrap your phone cord around your fingers and laugh under your breath, almost in disbelief. The sound of his smooth but shy laugh makes your stomach twist with that nervous new crush feeling and you feel almost like you could float off your bed. “I don’t know; it’s hard to say it out loud. You know what I mean... Don’t you?”

Pulling his beanie from his hair, Vernon rakes his fingers through his hair and scoffs into a laugh as you dodge his question. You were being so cute and coy that it was driving him crazy. Sure, he had dated in high school. He had crushes, but none of them quite stood the test of time like this one.

“Think I’d just rather hear it. This isn’t a conversation I’ve ever had before, Y/N.” Dropping the beanie on to the floor next to him, he bites at his lip and tilts his head, looking at the wall almost too intently as if it will give him the right words. “I—I mean, you know who I am. Let’s be honest, I’m not—I mean, fuck. I’m not Christen—”

“Stop it. I don’t like Christen. I think—I mean, I thought that was obvious, at least to you. He—” Furrowing your brows as you speak over Vernon, cutting him off, you bite at your cheek, feeling the frustration rising in your chest. “He honestly makes me really...”

Hearing how you seem unable to say the words, Vernon chews at his lips, feeling bad for bringing the other man up. It hadn’t been his intention to upset you, but he did feel inferior when it came to Christen in some ways, especially you. Now he wasn’t sure he should. Now Vernon could feel the same anger from before threatening to rise up as he taps his fingers against his leg and fills in the word for you. “Uncomfortable?”

Nodding, you sniff back your emotions and sit up a bit on your bed, as if talking about Christen will make him manifest in front of you like a demon. “Yeah, so you not being him is a good thing.” Wanting to get the conversation off of Christen, you take a deep breath and shake your head as if clearing the fog from it before speaking again. “‘Sides, I do kinda know who you are; that’s why I—you know... It’s why I like you, Vernon.”

Your words make Vernon feel like he’s stuck in a wind tunnel. He hears them, and yet they don’t seem real. “Me?”

Laughing under your breath, you nod at his question as your brows knit together. There was no one else you were talking to and you had used his first name. “I—yeah. I mean, you know… If you don’t like me, that’s totally—”

“Oh, my god... I do. I just—I’m a loser and I can’t even remember what else your friends called me.”

“I don’t care what they think. I mean, I care what they say, and they are so fucking wrong.” You weren’t sure why it was so hard for Vernon to understand that you liked him, and while you were glad that he liked you back, it was difficult to hear him call himself a loser. That wasn’t how you saw him. You hated hearing your friends call anyone that, but especially Vernon. “I know I make a lot of excuses for them, but the things they said the other night... I really am so, so sorry. That was my fault.”

Pushing his tongue against his cheek, Vernon lets out a breath as you once again apologize for your friends. It’s even worse when you take the blame for something that isn’t your responsibility. “Y/N, wh—no. I don’t blame you. Nothing that happened was your fault. Christen could have threw a punch at me and it still wouldn’t have been anything that you could have started or stopped.”

The idea of Christen hurting Vernon makes your skin crawl. You knew that Christen was just waiting for the opportunity and what you were doing right now... Pursuing something with Vernon would only make it worse. Frowning a bit to yourself, you stretch the phone cord between your fingers and Vernon seems to notice how quiet you’ve become, your soft breath on the other side of the line being the only thing that lets him know you’re still there.

“You thinkin’ hard about something? Wanna let me in on it?” Smiling a bit, Vernon shifts his legs, pulling his knees up a bit so he can rest his forearms on them as he leans his head back against his bed. “Or did you fall asleep?”

“No—no, I’m here. I just—I know you said none of that was my fault, but it feels like it.” You can hear Vernon start to speak and you know he’s going to argue your point, but still having more to say, you keep going before he can. “It’s just—Christen, he’s like weirdly been obsessed with me for a while, right? He's just my friend, but it’s like I can’t get him to see that. It makes it hard to date, well, like anyone. I—” Laughing under your breath, it’s clear there is no humor to it as you roll your eyes. “Like I haven’t even had a boyfriend or been on a date since freshman year.”

Letting your words sink in, Vernon tries to think about high school and when he first noticed you. It hadn’t been hard. You were beautiful from the first day, but he hadn’t been the only one who had noticed how much you changed over summer and that was when Christen had laid his claim. No wonder you hadn’t dated. Vernon could imagine that any guy that tried to get close to you was either scared away or knew you were off the table—even if you weren’t.

“So… I’m just saying that because if this goes anywhere, and I’m not saying it has to... Christen might freak the fuck out. He already got mad that you were talking to me.” Your voice is sad and quiet. You sound repressed like you had at the theater, and it bites at Vernon, making him almost feel antsy in his room. He wants to get up and fix it for you; change your situation so that you don’t have to feel so small...

“I don’t give a fuck what he thinks, Y/N. I’m not afraid of him. All I care about is what you think and want.” Vernon presses his thumbnail into the tip of his pinky hard enough to leave a divot as he grits his teeth. He had to calm down; you weren’t his—not yet. Christen had already done enough damage by laying a freaky claim to you; Vernon was determined not to make you feel worse by doing the same. “I’ll only do what you want. Like I told you, I like you.”

Unable to stop the smile from spreading on your lips, you bite at your lower lip and glance towards your window as the curtain moves with the wind. There was a huge difference in how Christen and Vernon made you feel. Christen terrified you and made you feel trapped in a box. Vernon, he made you feel almost free and desired. It was almost a bit dangerous the way you enjoyed that feeling, along with the smooth sound of his voice lulling you into a comfortable place.

“Yeah?” Now your smile was even in your voice and Vernon could hear it over the phone. “I—yeah, I like you a lot. God, I sound like a teenager.”

Smirking, Vernon looks down at his fingers and the red half moon on his pinky as he runs his tongue along his lips and tilts his head. “Well, I mean technically—”

“Stop it, I’m not. We aren’t anymore. I let high school go, like forever.” Sliding down in your bed, you rest your head on the pillow, sighing into the phone, causing Vernon to have to close his eyes to the sound. “Another reason I like you so much. You don’t seem to dwell on it. High school is over, and we can start something new. Like this, right?”

Fuck. Vernon has to pull the phone from his ear as his stomach tightens to the idea of you and the sigh you had made in his ear. You were so innocent to him and yet he wasn’t thinking completely with his brain at the moment. Nodding, he swallows hard and rubs his hand along his jeans to ground himself. “Hell, yeah.”

Partying wasn’t really Vernon’s scene. It wasn’t even the fact that he wasn’t in the “cool” crowd; it was more that his personality didn’t mesh with how loud a party could be. Not just the music or the talking, but the atmosphere. It was all so loud and made Vernon’s head feel like it was in a vice that someone was constantly tightening the longer he stayed—and yet a party is where he found himself tonight.

Jun loved to party. He liked the release of not having to think. He enjoyed the free beer and access to almost anything he might want to get his hands on. Jun didn’t go crazy, but if someone passed a joint, he wasn’t going to be rude and refuse a gift.

“Dude, try to enjoy this.”

Vernon rolls his eyes at Jun as he lifts his cup to his lips, nursing a stale beer he had picked up at the beginning of the night. Sometimes he wished he could be more like his friend. He did find watching people at parties interesting, even Jun. You could really see who someone was when they were wasted. Inhibitions were low and people’s true nature came out to play.

“I have about fifty other things I could be doing.” Vernon wasn’t lying. It was rare that he and Jun both had a night off from the theater and he didn’t particularly want to be spending it in the house of someone who probably treated him like shit in high school. You were on Vernon’s mind, and he had been letting his eyes wander around the crowd just hoping you might show up—though this didn’t seem much like your scene.

“Such a fuckin’ buzzkill, man. You gotta relax. That’s why I wanted you to come out with me. You gotta get out of your head. You’re spinnin’ your wheels.” Jun tried to focus on Vernon, but unlike him—who had taken the night slow, Jun had not. He was feeling just how he wanted to be feeling: light, cares were a thing of the past or a problem for tomorrow, and there was still plenty of shit to play with floating around this party.

Shaking his head, Vernon can’t help the scoff that slips from his lips, though between Jun’s current mental state and the boom of the bass echoing off the walls, it went unheard. “I’m gonna top off.”

Nodding, Jun turns his attention away from Vernon and towards the pretty girl with a joint resting between her fingers. Vernon, on the other hand, kept his head on a swivel as he moved into the kitchen and straight towards the keg to refill his beer. There was a mishmash of people he had gone to school with; a couple of kids he knew were still in school, but the two that caught his eye were leaned up against the farest wall.

Vernon wasn’t sure how he hadn’t noticed Juwon and Alanna until now, but then again they had probably found a room in this godforsaken house and defiled it. Bringing the cup to his lips, Vernon furrows his brows as he follows the direction of the couple's eyes as they laugh between themselves. Jun—they were watching Jun.

Everyone at this party was wasted—well, almost everyone, and it made no sense to Vernon why old habits had to die hard. Something you had said to him the night before was replaying in his mind as Vernon took a step back into the living room, carefully maneuvering through people as Juwon and Alanna made their way closer to Jun.

“They just all are mentally stuck in high school. The glory days, you know?”

Well, this wasn’t fucking high school anymore. There weren’t glory days for anyone. Vernon had never gotten any, and Jun sure as hell hadn’t, so why should a group of assholes get them?

“Thanks, fuckface.” Taking the joint from Jun’s fingers, Juwon passes it to Alanna as the girl who had given it to Jun in the first place shifts uncomfortably. “You living off scraps like a dog? Who invited you anyway?”

Juwon had always had an issue with Jun for seemingly no problem on the surface. He had gone out of his way to make his life a living hell in high school, and it seemed that wasn’t stopping just because they had donned a cap and gown a couple of months ago. The real issue was that Jun had almost dated Alanna first. Juwon had almost lost the “great love of his life” to someone else, and now that he had her, he had to remind Jun at every given chance.

Alanna eyes the girl sitting next to Jun harshly. She had no reason to, but she honestly didn’t like her so close to Jun. As much as she loved being at Juwon’s side and making sure that Jun remembered her as she egged the bullying on—she also enjoyed seeing him available. You just never knew if the wind would change.

“Cut the shit out, Juwo—”

“Who the fuck do you think you are, Wen? Walking up in this place like you belong.”

Vernon was seething as he watched just a few feet away along with a small crowd of others. He wanted to give Jun a chance to defend himself, but he had seen this song and dance. Jun wasn’t a violent person; he wasn’t a confrontational person—and tonight he had been drinking and smoking. Juwon had an unfair advantage.

The moment that Juwon starts to lay his hands on Jun is when Vernon can no longer just watch. Taking a couple of steps forward, he pulls Juwon back, and the anger he is feeling is evident in his eyes. Stepping in front of Jun, Vernon’s nose almost touching Juwon's, he tilts his head as he speaks just loud enough for the man to head. “Touch him again and see what happens. Take your little bitch, and get out of my face.”

Juwon looks shocked at first, his eyes widening almost comically until a laugh bubbles in his throat. “Yo–you kiddin’? The fuck?” Alanna quickly joins in, her higher-pitched laugh grating at Vernon’s ears as the couple hangs off one another. “You’re a fuckin’ psychopath, Vernon. Almost had me scared for a minute. Shit… Seriously, you could almost pull off being a badass if everyone didn’t know you were a pussy.”

Juwon laughs again as he takes the joint from Alanna, the end of it burning orange as he smirks before inhaling deeply and blowing smoke into Vernon’s face as he pushes him out of his way. Vernon forces himself to keep his eyes open even as they burn from the smoke. He wasn’t going to let Juwon get the better of him, not tonight. Not while his nails were digging into his palms hard enough to break the skin.

“Goodnight, ladies…” With his arm wrapped around Alanna, the last of the joint resting back between her lips, Juwon grins at Jun as he shifts uncomfortably on the arm of the couch. He had succeeded in doing what he had set out to do. Jun and Vernon had always been the outcasts in high school and at any party they went to, but now they were being looked at like they were diseased. The pretty girl who had been sitting next to Jun was long gone, and anyone else who had been seen talking to Jun before had found better company.

“Fuck this party.” Vernon sighs, hearing how defeated Jun sounds. His eyes follow his friend as he quickly stands and moves past him, only to get a few feet before Vernon watches him fall flat on his face with a loud groan.

Searching for the source, Vernon’s anger boils over when Juwon laughs loudly once again, throwing his hands up as he meets Vernon’s eyes. “Not my fuckin’ fault your girlfriend can’t walk. Maybe he’s too fucked up, Vern. Get him home safe; tuck him in. Kiss him goodnight for me?”

Vernon tilts his head, refusing to respond to Juwon’s words as others around him laugh at the pathetic excuse for jokes. Instead he moves to Jun, trying to help him up, only to feel his hands get slapped away as Jun glares at him, his eyes quickly softening before he gets to his feet on his own. “I got it. I’m fine. I just want to get the fuck out of here.”

Following Jun, doing his best to keep up, Vernon sighs as Jun tugs open the door to his car, sliding behind the wheel and wiping under his nose hard. Glancing down to the wet, sticky feeling of blood running from his nose, Jun rolls his eyes and leans his head back before meeting Vernon’s eyes and shaking his head. “I don’t wanna hear it.”

“I wasn’t gonna say a damn thing.” That was the truth. Vernon didn’t have to say what Jun already knew. It had been a bad idea to come to this party. From the moment they had walked in, Vernon had felt it, and now Jun was bleeding because of it. “You want me to drive you home?”

Grimacing, Jun shakes his head again and wipes under his nose, checking the heel of his hand for more blood. “No, I just—I appreciate the offer, but I wanna be alone. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Taking a step back, Vernon watches Jun shut his door,his eyes following the Toyota down the street until it turns the corner, leaving him alone as the sun starts to set. He knew that he should leave too. Logically, Vernon knew that it would be smart to get in his Beretta and drive off—leave all this bullshit behind, but then he hears the laughter from inside the house and logic is off the table.

“Did you see his stupid fuckin’ face?” Juwon mimics Jun falling forward as Alanna tips back her beer, her eyes bright watching him getting attention from the small crowd around them. They weren’t Christen and you, but when it came to this scene—this is when they were King and Queen.

Grinning as he slides his fingers along Alanna’s side, Juwon nods, agreeing to another drink as Jake slides off the couch, moving towards the kitchen to gather them for the group. “You having a good time, babe?” He knew she was; he could see that hazed, lazy look in her eyes. She was just high enough, just drunk enough, that the world didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was right in front of her, and that was how Alanna loved to exist.

“Mmm—so fucking good. Only be better if—” Leaning in to whisper in to Juwon’s ear, Alanna drapes her leg over his thigh, causing him to groan not only to her dirty words but also to the weight of her knee over his crotch. “Know what I mean? Can’t do that here.”

Juwon’s finger slid down further to grip at Alanna’s hip, her skirt sliding up slightly on her thigh, causing Jake to cough as he averted his eyes. “I—shit. Got more beers... I’ll leave ‘em here. Y’all wanna use my room or somethin’? Don’t fuck on my couch, alright?”

Pushing his tongue against his teeth, Vernon leans against the wall in the dark hall next to the bathroom as he watches the scene in front of him carefully. It was interesting how much people would let themselves go when they thought they were amongst friends or those who worshipped them. Vernon also thought it was interesting what people left just lying around—or at least what they kept in their medicine cabinets.

Jake’s mother had been in a car accident about a year ago. Vernon remembered when that had happened. It had been dramatic for the town. She was some important bigwig businesswoman that people thought others should give a fuck about, but Vernon didn’t even know her name until today. He had learned it when he had read her name on the medicine bottle before he had pocketed the pills inside of it.

Vernon had never been a good chemistry student, but he did know that certain things shouldn’t be taken in large dosages. The human body wasn’t made to accept opioids at an accelerated rate in large quantities. While Vernon hadn’t been great in school, he had enjoyed watching people and realizing how little they watched him. Like how Jake hadn’t paid attention as Vernon added the crushed-up pills to Alanna and Juwon’s drinks before he handed them off to the couple.

It didn’t take long for the drinks to disappear and for the expressions on their faces to change. There was a difference between being high and what they were feeling now. Moving to his feet, Juwon holds his hand to his head as Alanna shakes out her hands, trying to get a grip on herself. “Com—come on, baby. Let’s get out o—outta here.”

Nodding along with Juwon, Alanna moves to her feet, stumbling along side of him, finding herself holding him upright as the two make their way towards his car. Had they drunk that much? Trying to think back, Alanna blinks a few times as she counts the beers to herself before her attention is brought back to the present and to Juwon when he groans weakly, his legs giving out and pulling her down with him.

“Juwon… Shit. Wha—baby!” The euphoric feeling of fun that had been running through Alanna’s body just an hour before was long gone as she lazily swiped Juwon’s hair back, feeling warm tears running down her cheeks. All she could feel now was fear mixed with horror as she watched his eyes roll back, his breaths becoming more like choked gasps. “Baby, wake up!”

Tilting his head, Vernon took in a deep pull from his cigarette before letting it settle in his chest for a second and blowing it out into the wind. He knew that Alanna was trying to be loud enough that others from the party would hear and come to their aid, but she was exhausted and fading.

Shaking Juwon as hard as she can manage, Alanna sobs, unable to tell if he is breathing—the choking sounds no longer reaching her ears. Leaning back against the side of the car, she tries to focus and to find anyone to help them, but the only person she sees makes her blood run cold. Vernon smirks, flicking the last of his cigarette from his fingers before blowing out another deep breath of smoke, his eyes never leaving Alanna’s. It’s only when the girl’s head falls forward, her body slumping over Juwon's, does Vernon slide behind the wheel of his car and drive down the street.

At this point, you were becoming numb from going to funerals. It was two days after the morbid joint memorial that Juwon and Alanna’s family had held, and though you had cried—now you just felt numb.

You had watched Christen pass a flask back and forth between himself, Caitlin, and a few other friends in the church—that had only served to put you in an even worse headspace. To you, this entire experience should be a reason for your friends to clean up their act. Two of your friends had overdosed, and yet the others felt the need to celebrate that by trying to follow in their footsteps.

There had been a full day of you avoiding your phone and pager. You knew that Caitlin wanted you to spend time with her and that Christen would be right on your heels, but the numbness made it easy to say no, or at least nothing at all. It wasn’t until that second day when your parents had apologized for having to leave you alone for a few days that you felt like you could finally breathe.

You knew you should want their company. You should want the hovering of your mother and the protective shield of your father, but all you wanted was space from the usual. So, when someone knocks at your door just a couple of hours after you had gotten that space, you find yourself almost willing to let them get tired of knocking as you lay on the couch.

“Y/N?”

Furrowing your brows at the sound of your name, you glance towards the front door before sitting up and wrapping your arms around yourself. You had expected either Christen or Caitlin to come demanding your attention, or even someone from the local church to visit with a casserole, but you hadn’t expected to hear Vernon’s voice.

Opening the door slowly, you meet his eyes and Vernon’s soft smile almost makes you collapse at how easily he starts to seep through that numbness that had taken over your being. “Hi… Why—I mean… Do you wanna come in?”

Vernon isn’t surprised when you start to ask him why he’s there. He had tried to call you, but you weren’t picking up your phone. He could see the look on your face. You looked like you hadn’t slept well in a few days. He didn’t want to pity you, but there was something about that pout on your pretty lips that almost broke his heart.

“Yeah—yes, I mean sure. If you want me to, I mean, you know if your parents won’t freak the fuck out.” Vernon watches you shake your head as you take a step back and open the door more for him. Moving past you, Vernon takes in a deep breath, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the idea of being inside your house. He had wanted this for so long; he knew that if he went up those stairs and to the right, the last door had to be your room. God, he wanted to see your room.

“My parents aren’t here.” Sighing softly, you close the door, locking it behind you before watching Vernon as he looks around a bit. “They left this morning to go out of town. Should be back next week sometime.”

Raising his brows, Vernon looks at a picture of your family—your mother sitting in a chair as you stand beside her and your father behind you both, his hands on either of your shoulders. It was such a classic family photo, and yet to him it looked so fucking fake. Vernon could see you that weren’t as happy as you pretended to be in the picture; there was a fakeness to the smile. He had seen a real smile from you, and he wanted to see it again.

“Oh—that’s… They left you with all this shit going on? That’s kinda fucked—” Hissing under his breath, Vernon meets your eyes and lets out a long sigh. “I’m sorry, it’s none of my business and I’m sure they have their reasons. I just worry about you in this big ass house alone with everything—this house seems lonely, Y/N.”

You wrap your arms back around yourself, suddenly feeling cold at all that Vernon is pointing out. The house was too big for just you, and it was a bit lonely... Yet you were still enjoying that solitude—minus him. You liked him there. “It’s not so bad; I mean, you’re here. It’s not lonely now. I—and honestly, they were smothering me. I needed a break from them. I needed one from every—that sounds bad.”

It didn’t sound bad to Vernon. That was something that he understood better than anyone. Sometimes you just needed a break from everyone and everything. If it wasn’t necessary, you had to rid yourself of it. He was finding out he was good at that—very good, in fact.

Taking one step closer, Vernon smiles slightly, his lips pulling up at one side as he tries his luck a bit to be in your space. He wants to be less of a coward and reach out, take your hand or pull you into his arms, but the fear of pushing you away keeps him just far enough away that you tilt your head and give him that sweet smile that makes Vernon’s stomach twist up in knots. “It’s completely fucking fair, Y/N. I—look, I was hoping that I wasn’t bothering you. I wanted to check on you and… Fuck I don’t know what I was thinking. I missed you. I just wanted to see your pretty face, honestly.”

Looking down, you press your lips together, trying to keep your reaction hidden. You feel the heat spread across your cheeks, and it only gets hotter as Vernon chuckles and takes one step closer to you. “Y/N?” Watching his hand tremble slightly, your lips pull up in a small smile as he works up the courage to lift his hand to your face, his fingers carefully tilting your head up so you will meet his eyes once again.

“I’m listening.” You knew you probably shouldn’t let yourself enjoy the feeling of Vernon’s calloused fingers on your cheek, but you were. You should be sad right now, hidden in your room mourning the loss of your friends. But as you meet Vernon’s eyes, all you feel are the butterflies in your stomach. “I—would…” Taking a deep breath, you close the distance between yourself and Vernon, causing him to take a deep breath in return. “Could you hangout for a while? I don’t think I wanna be alone.”

Vernon’s skin erupts with goosebumps as your fingers trace his forearm up to his rest, where you wrap your delicate hand around his wrist. He expects you to move his hand from your face, but instead you lean into his touch, your head tilted as you wait for him to answer you. Swallowing hard, he nods while tracing your cheekbone, feeling the soft skin under his thumb. “‘Course I will.”

Listening to the sound of popcorn popping a room away, Vernon runs his fingers over the couch underneath him. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t nervous. You terrified him just as much as you enthralled him. Finally reaching for the small assortment of VHS tapes on the coffee table in front of them, Vernon reads over the titles, trying to make a decision.

You had left the movie choice in Vernon’s hands, declaring that he would have the most expertise in that field while you would take care of snacks. Leaning against the kitchen counter, you tap your foot against the cold ceramic tiles as you gnaw at your thumb nail watching the popcorn bag spin in the microwave on the countertop in front of you. Your stomach was in knots. You wanted Vernon there, and yet there was that sense of breaking the rules hanging over your head. There was a looming air of risk weighing on you that made you feel like you were in another dimension as you thought about where the night could go—Vernon’s hand on your cheek, his lips on yours—BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Gasping, you put your hand to your chest, your eyes closed as the microwave comes to a stop, pulling you out of your daydream and back to reality. Emptying the popcorn into a bowl, you balance it on your arm as you carry two cans of soda against your stomach with your other hand making your way back to the living room and Vernon.

“If we want something to eat in a bit, I can order pizza. Jerry’s is open until 9 o'clock.” Putting the bowl onto the table, you smile at Vernon as he makes a sound, realizing you were so close. Letting him take the sodas from you, you sit on the couch near him, keeping a space between the two of you as you let out a sigh, your eyes moving over the tapes to see what he had picked.

“Whatever you want... I can always eat, but this is great.” Popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth, Vernon glances at you first and then down to the marginal space between himself and you. It made sense; it wasn’t like the two of you were dating really. Things had been discussed, but being interested and wanting to see where things went didn’t mean it was official. Still, the space made Vernon furrow his brows and caused his stomach to tighten with anxiety. “Yo—you good, Y/N? Is Seven okay?”

Smiling softly, you shift a bit on the couch, your fingers under your thighs, letting the end of your denim shorts catch between your fingers as you bite at your lips anxiously. “Mmm, yeah. I’m fine. I’ve never seen it; my dad buys most of the movies.” Moving back to your feet, you swipe the VHS from the table and kneel in front of the entertainment center as Vernon watches you carefully. “Is it really scary? I mean—it’s totally okay if it is. Brad Pitt is hot, so that makes up for my trauma.”

Vernon grins watching you put the tape into the VCR, your head tilting as you sigh and press the rewind button, realizing that your dad hadn’t done it after his last watch of the movie. “It’s not too bad. More thriller and a bit gory. If you don’t like it, we can cut it off and try something else.”

Getting back to your feet, you shake your head and move back towards Vernon, offering him the remote before taking your seat. “I’m not that much of a wuss. Besides, you won’t let the movie hurt me, right?” You knew it was a pathetic attempt at flirting, but the slight smile on Vernon’s lips and the flush running along his ears to his neck made you feel a bit better about how nervous you were.

“Nah… never. Wouldn’t let anything hurt you, honestly.” Leaning back against the cushions, Vernon doesn’t see your expression change as he presses play and pops a few more kernels of popcorn into his mouth. He doesn’t seem to understand how much his words effect you and how your heart beats quicker in your chest. It doesn’t seem to dawn on him until you slide closer to him, your legs tucked up under you so that you can rest your shoulder against his arm.

Struggling to watch the movie, Vernon stays in the same awkward position for the first forty-five minutes of the movie. His eyes move from the television to your face, the pout on your lips becoming more evident as time ticks by, until finally you sigh and reach forward to grab a handful of popcorn, letting Vernon take a much-needed breath.

He leans his head back, cursing under his breath as you stay forward on your knees for what seems like an impossible amount of time, when in truth it’s only a few seconds—long enough to take a sip of your drink to wash down your popcorn. When you lean back, you gasp quietly under your breath before lifting your eyes towards Vernon, finding yourself tucked into his side. Now your cheeks were burning, and you could feel Vernon’s fingers brushing together against your shoulder as he took a deep breath, seeming to need it for courage as he kept his eyes forward with his arm behind you on the couch.

You felt perfect against his side, and it was almost devastating to Vernon. You smelled sweet and just as warm as you felt; it was causing him to almost feel lightheaded. Lifting his free hand to his lips, Vernon rubs at them as he glances down at you, being careful not to move his head. God, you were so beautiful. He had looked at you so many times, and he had been close enough to look at you, but never this close. If he really wanted to, Vernon was almost convinced he could take the time to count your eyelashes or freckles while he admired your face.

Grimacing at the movie, you whine, finding yourself tucking your body and head against Vernon, wanting to get away from the sight of blood and filth in front of you. “So gross…” Fingers brush over your hair and Vernon smiles behind his fingers, finally moving them as he meets your eyes, knowing he has your attention.

“Is it too much?”

Rubbing your lips together, you can’t help the way you take in a deep breath of Vernon’s cologne, letting it invade your senses. Looking from his eyes to his lips and back, you shyly smile before you shake your head. “It’s okay.”

You were saying one thing, and your body language was telling Vernon something completely different—and yet the movie was beginning to not matter. Vernon could almost feel the path of your eyes as they move to his lips before his eyes take the same walk down your face and he feels your fingers gently trace the sleeve of his t-shirt where it sits on his bicep. Did you want him to kiss you? All signs were pointing to yes…

The feeling of Vernon’s fingers on your chin this time is almost electric as he gently keeps your head in place, leaning down to test the waters by brushing his lips against yours. Resting his nose along yours, he smiles when your fingers close against his arm, dragging your nails along his skin gently. “Y/N... is that what you want? I gotta know. I don’t wanna do anything you don’t want.”

God, your head was spinning. For your entire high school existence and the short time you have had outside of it trying to navigate being a woman, you had never been asked what you wanted. Christen never asked. He told and took, or at least he tried. There had been so many times when he had almost taken things from you that you would have never been able to get back, and now as you clung to Vernon, his lips hovering over yours and that question on his lips—you yearned.

“Please? Kiss me? I want it.”

Vernon’s brows furrow tightly, almost painfully so at how needy you sound. His lips meet yours gently, but not without meaning. He doesn’t want to scare you, but he also doesn’t want to risk you slipping through his fingers as he tastes your lip balm on his tongue.

To Vernon, you seem delicate, almost as if he were to hold you too tightly, he might break you. It’s almost frustrating to you when you whine into the most breathtaking kiss you had ever received and Vernon’s hand tightens on your hip only for him to shakily loosen his grip and move his hand as if he’s afraid of something.

Shifting on the couch, you open your eyes, moving your leg slowly along Vernon’s thigh to see how he will react. You furrow your brows, feeling a rush of arousal, your panties beginning to stick to your folds when Vernon groans your name from deep in his throat to the feeling of the warmth between your legs against his jeans.

“Shit—I… Y/N, I gotta—” Vernon leans his head back, his eyes searching the ceiling as you stay still, almost afraid to move based on his reaction and the feeling bubbling inside of you. Glancing over his face and down along his neck, you finally make up your mind, leaning forward to press your lips to the junction between Vernon’s jaw and his neck and listening to his breath quicken.

Hands slide along your legs to the end of your shorts, where Vernon forces himself to stop and let his hands rest even as his fingers knead at your soft thighs. He could feel how hard he was getting from the feeling of your warmth against his leg and your soft, plush lips on his throat. “Y/N…”

Your name was starting to sound like a prayer on Vernon’s lips, as if it were the only thing keeping him grounded and sitting on the couch. “I like you, Vernon. Like a lot, if that isn’t clear.” Groaning in a mixture of frustration and pleasure, Vernon lifts one hand from your leg to run his fingers through his hair, tugging gently to bring himself back to reality. You were making it hard for him to keep his head clear as you traced the collar of his shirt and adjusted your leg over his.

“I think it’s painfully obvious that I like you too.” Sighing, Vernon meets your eyes as you smile at him. Your face is so sweet, not a bit of malice or ill intent behind your eyes. There is something so innocent and pure about you that makes him equally excited and horrified. “I’m enjoying this. I’m ju—I’m enjoying it a little too much.”

You weren’t stupid or completely naive. You could feel how hard Vernon was as you dared to slide your leg further up his, resting your knee dangerously close to his crotch. It wasn’t like you hadn’t made out with guys or that you had been around Christen when he had gotten too excited, but this was different. You wanted to be here. You wanted more with Vernon, and you knew what it meant and how it would change things.

“That’s okay, right? It’s just—you know, just us here. Um, if we wanted to, you know.”

Tilting his head, Vernon can’t stop the way his lips pull up in a soft, amused smile at your phrasing. Were you embarrassed to ask him for more, or were you afraid to say the words? Or was it something else? Were you even more pure than he thought?

“Wanted to what, Y/N? Make out? We already were…”

Whining at Vernon’s words, you shift even closer to him as you shake your head no firmly. “I—no, I mean yes. I want to kiss you so much. Keep kissing me, but more. I mean, if—if you want me like that.”

The moment that your confidence seems to wane, Vernon’s brows furrow and his hand moves to your neck, pulling you closer for a deep kiss that once again takes your breath. Gasping into the kiss, you feel a rush of excitement run through your body as his other hand slips around to your ass, fingers slipping into your back pocket.

“You got literally no fucking idea how much I want you like that or how long I’ve—God, baby.” The pet name slips off Vernon’s lips as a soft whine before he can stop himself. A rush of fear moves through him quickly, but when you smile on his lips and shift over his lap to sit on his thighs, Vernon’s anxiety melts away. “Are you sure?”

Nodding, you let your knees slide to either side of Vernon’s legs, a soft gasp escaping your lips when you finally feel the bulge of his cock press against the center of your legs. “Uh huh, I’m sure, but—god, it’s so embarrassing.” Lowering your head to press your face against Vernon’s neck, you only feel shame for a moment before his hand slides over your back to join the other on your ass, helping you gently grind down over his jeans. “Oh…”

This had to be a dream—some perfect wet dream that Vernon would wake up from with his boxers sticky from cum. There was no way you were actually rolling your hips down over his cock, and those pretty little whines were real, but it all felt real. You were warm on his lap, your pussy almost hot even through your shorts. Your ass felt soft in his hands as Vernon tightened his fingers over the denim, trying to keep himself from throwing you down on the floor and fucking you right there in front of the family portrait over the fireplace. “Fuck—don’t be embarrassed in front of me, please? What’s wrong? Talk to me, baby.”

Kissing gently at Vernon’s neck, you furrow your brows, feeling his fingers run over your head as he asks you to talk to him. Taking his hand when he moves it to your neck, you link your fingers with Vernon’s before nodding. “I’ve never done this before, Vernon. I wanna do it. I wanna—I want it with you, but I just don’t wanna fuck it up.”

If there was a way for Vernon to die, go to heaven, and end up back on your couch in the span of seconds, it had happened. Staring up at you, he licks his lips, trying to come up with the right words before finally shaking his head and letting out a sigh. “You’re perfect. You couldn’t fuck up a single thing even if you tried.”

Patting your thighs, Vernon helps you to your feet and offers you his hand as you give him a confused look. “I’m not doing this on your couch in your living room, Y/N. You deserve so much better than that.” Gently tugging at your hand, he leads you towards the staircase, and you find yourself enamored by Vernon as he leads you to your bedroom.

While Vernon had thought being in your house was overwhelming, being in your bedroom was like being inside of his dreams. It was like being inside your head and learning how to understand you from the inside out. Dropping your hand for a moment, he moves to turn on your bedside lamp before turning back to you and offering you his hand as you tilt your head and laugh softly. “How did you know which room was mine?”

You watch Vernon’s eyes shift to your window quickly before he laughs and shrugs into a sigh, his arms wrapping around you while he walks backwards towards your bed. “Lucky guess and I followed my nose. It smells like your perfume.” Vernon wasn’t going to tell you that he had counted your windows hundreds of times and that he had guessed the layout of your house, perhaps knowing it better than his own. No, he wasn’t going to fuck up the best thing that had ever happened to him as you looked up at him like he had hung the stars in the sky.

“Oh… I bet I could find your room like that too. Your cologne smells so good; it’s my favorite thing.” Leaning forward, you rest your nose in the crook of Vernon’s neck, taking in a breath and Vernon thinks he could die right then and there. Yes, he liked you, but that wasn’t strong enough for the emotions that you made him feel—he loved you.

“Jesus, Y/N… You don’t even fucking understand what you’re doing to me. I—here, lay down. Let me—I gotta take care of you, right? Make this matter.” Carefully turning with you in his arms, Vernon walks you backwards until your knees hit your bed. “I got you.” Resting his knee beside you, Vernon keeps his eyes locked on yours as he helps you lay back on your bed, a pillow under your head—another picture from a dream he’s had a hundred times.

Trailing his fingers slowly along your side, Vernon shakes his head as you shift under him, squirming slightly in anticipation. “You’re telling me that no one else has touched you like this?” When you whine his name, Vernon smiles, the warm, soft feeling of your skin under his fingertips as he pushes your shirt up your torso towards your breasts, exposing your body to him... inch by inch.

“It’s just a question. I just can’t believe I’m this fucking lucky. Crazy to me actually…” Vernon’s words make your cheeks heat up, but any complaints you have die on your tongue when his lips gently brush over your stomach. “But I’ll take care of you... Make you feel good, I promise.”

You find yourself wondering how many people Vernon had been with before you, but before you can ask, a moan slips from your lips at the feeling of his warm breath and kisses moving along your skin. You knew this would feel good—having someone touch you, kissing you—but you had no idea it would be this good when he had just started.

“Please… please? Can I see you? ‘M so nervous, Vernon... Don’t tease me.”

Vernon could tell you were nervous. You were trembling under him. Every kiss brought out a new shiver and more goosebumps. He knew it wasn’t fear, because if he even for a moment thought you were afraid of him, Vernon would stop. That was his worst nightmare—a world where you weren’t safe and happy.

“Not teasing, baby. I’m exploring… I’m—mm…” Chuckling against your skin, Vernon hisses, almost afraid to say what he wants to, but a glance up to meet your eyes gives him the confidence he needs. “I’m loving you. Lift your hips for me, angel.”

Wiggling your hips from side to side, you grip at the bedding under you as Vernon works your jean shorts down your thighs and finally off your legs. In that moment, feeling Vernon’s hand running along your leg back towards your thigh, you find yourself happy that you had taken the time to shave your legs. The thought seems trivial and silly, but the feeling of his rougher hands on your soft skin is better than anything you’ve ever felt before.

“You’re so beautiful. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my goddamn life, you know that?” Vernon grins as you let out a soft, happy sound to his words and also to the feeling of his lips against your knee. It was killing him to go so slowly, but it was what you deserved. He could just imagine Christen throwing you on the bed and shoving his cock in you. Some bastard who didn’t give a shit about anything other than getting his dick wet, watching you cry, not even from pleasure as he got his rocks off... No, Vernon wasn’t about to treat you like that. He would never treat you like that.

“Can I?” Sucking in a breath as you feel the back of Vernon’s finger trace the lace around your thigh near the center of your legs, you glance down between your legs and whine. You could see how wet you were and there was no way that Vernon hadn’t noticed too. He was being so respectful, and you loved that he was asking. “Hm? Can I take these off too?”

“Yeah…” Your voice is quieter than you mean for it to be so you nod, making sure that Vernon meets your eyes. Lifting your hips one more time, you quickly close your eyes when you feel air hit your wet folds and Vernon helps you lift your legs one at a time until your panties are discarded on the floor with your shorts.

All Vernon wanted was for you to look at him, but the embarrassment was written on your face like a book. This was the first time anyone had seen you like this and he wasn’t going to push you. He was going to help you and ease you into feeling more comfortable. “Pretty girl, it’s just us. I want you to know that you are perfect. Everything about you, from your head to your toes.”

Your quiet laugh causes Vernon’s lips to pull up in a smile. He loved that sound and he meant what he said. Slowly moving his hands along your legs, Vernon lets you decide when to spread your legs and he does his best to muffle his groan when he is able to take you in completely. “Shh—okay. Perfect, baby. You still okay?”

Whimpering his name under your breath, you open your eyes to meet Vernon’s and wonder if that was a mistake when you find him watching you closely. Lifting your arm to put it over your eyes for a second before raising it over your arm, you nod and wiggle down in the bed towards Vernon as his breath quickens. “Yeah… Still wanna see you.”

A scoff slips from between Vernon’s lips and he nods, forcing himself to pull his eyes away from you. It was difficult. You were every bit his wet dream a thousand times over as you lay on the bed naked from the waist down, your shirt bunched up under your perfect tits. “You can see me. Whatever you want.”

Sitting up on your elbows, you bite your lips as you watch Vernon stand at the end of your bed. Your instinct is your move—to help him as he pulls his shirt over his head or as he undoes his belt, but instead you find yourself frozen in a trance. It isn’t until Vernon pushes his thumbs into the top of his boxers, his eyes meeting yours, that you glance away only to hear him laugh under his breath and whisper your name.

“Don’t be so shy about it. Even if we just end up making out, I’m not gonna be disappointed, alright? You wanted to see me... Is that still true?” Nodding, you slowly move your eyes over Vernon’s body, letting out a deep breath. You felt childish, like you were still stuck in high school until the exact moment that Vernon’s boxers hit the ground and your eyes met his with want.

Running his hand over his mouth, Vernon stiffles a groan at the look on your face and to the relief of pressure being off of his cock. He wanted more; he needed more... but this was a start. You were looking at him like he was a full-course meal and he wasn’t planning on making you wait much longer.

“God, you can’t keep looking at me like that. Come ‘ere…” Helping you sit up more, Vernon meets your eyes with a smile before quickly pressing his lips to yours, his hands working your shirt over your chest. Humming against his lips, you lift your arms, letting him break the kiss to help you out of the shirt completely before his lips are right back on yours.

Skin meets skin and you find your thighs brushing together at the feeling of Vernon’s cock resting on your lower stomach as his fingers work the clasp of your bra open at the middle of your back. “Oh my god... Please go faster, Vernon.”

There was that want and need in your voice again. Vernon has already been leaking onto your skin, but with those words, he felt his cock jerk, a rush of pre-cum oozing along your stomach as he tugs your bra from your arms and tosses it over his head, not caring where it lands.

“Fuck.” There wasn’t much more that Vernon could think to say as he looked at you now. Your lips bitten and swollen from his kisses, your breasts rising and falling quickly with each deep breath, and your knee running along his hip. The moment he feels your warm, wet folds on his thigh, Vernon thinks he’s died one more time. It wasn’t like he had fucked many other girls in his life. A couple of hookups at shitty parties, but none of them had mattered and none of them had made him feel like he was going to lose his fucking mind. He had always heard that your first time, the one who took your virginity was supposed to be the one that you remembered forever… Right now he couldn’t even remember her name, much less her face, as you looked up at him and ran your fingers along his jaw.

“Are you gonna—” Swallowing hard, you struggle for the right word, but your cheeks bloom with heat and Vernon smiles. “Don’t make fun of me. It’s hard… I don’t know how to say it without sounding gross. I want you... Put it in.”

God, Vernon felt like he could cum on the spot hearing you say something like that. He wanted to be inside of you, but that wasn’t how this should work. He watches how you pout, a full frown forming on your pretty lips when he shakes his head. Pressing a kiss to your lips, Vernon groans before working the kisses to your cheek and down your jaw to your neck as he speaks quietly. “I will, I promise... Just not yet. I’m not an asshole, baby. It’s not gonna feel good at first, no matter what I do, but I gotta make sure you're ready either way. You understand?”

You weren’t a child; you had touched yourself plenty of times and Christen had tried to show you porn to see how embarrassed you would get. You knew what Vernon was talking about, but seeing and feeling was different. With a breath getting caught in your throat, you run your fingers through Vernon’s hair as he kisses the top of each of your breasts, glancing up at you to make sure you are okay before running his tongue around one of your nipples. Arching from the mattress, you moan behind tight lips, your brows furrowed as Vernon smiles against your skin, sucking the bud into his mouth gently.

“Holy shit… That feels so good. Your mouth…” It all felt so dirty, like you shouldn’t be able to experience it, and yet as Vernon’s fingers caressed your stomach moving lower, your head just got clouded with arousal. The first pass of his thumb between your folds is like being shocked by a live wire. Any attempt you had at being quiet fails, your lips falling open in a breathy moan that has Vernon groaning against your soft breast as he repeats the motion. “Please, please, please...”

Your pleads sound like a prayer—a song of worship sang by a true believer as you lift your hips and roll them towards Vernon’s fingers as he uses his knuckles and thumb to massage your clit. “You’re so wet, Y/N.” Vernon had said your name and he was talking about you, but you weren’t sure he was actually speaking to you. It was more that he was saying the words on his mind out loud in wonder as he finally eased his index finger into your tight hole, feeling you clench down around him like a vice.

“Baby… Fuck—” Vernon’s voice gets caught in his throat as he rests his forehead against your chest, working his finger into you, feeling your arousal seeping around it. “Relax for me. Let me help you feel good, huh?”

You were trying to relax, but Vernon’s finger was deep inside of you and you could feel every time he would bend his knuckle, raking the pad of his finger back towards your stomach. It was overwhelming how good it felt and how much you wanted more. To you, it made no sense how you could already feel so full and yet so empty. “Uh huh…”

“That’s my girl.”

Vernon’s voice had dropped an octave and as if that wasn’t hot enough, he had called you his girl. God, you wanted to be his girl. You hadn’t realized how much you wanted that until he said it. You wanted to be his, only his for the rest of your life. You knew it was silly, that this was probably that first time euphoria taking over you, but looking into Vernon’s brown eyes as he smiled up at you sliding down further into the bed... You were falling in love with his boy.

Using his other hand to separate your folds, Vernon groans under his breath as he glances from you back to what he is doing before leaning in to run his tongue from his finger to your clit. He hadn’t warned you, but being between your legs, his mouth level with your pussy should have told you everything you needed to know, in his opinion. Yet, when you practically scream his name, your mouth falling open in shock, Vernon just grins and latches on to your clit rendering you speechless.

This was like nothing you had ever felt before. You had fingered yourself before, played with your clit... but having Vernon’s mouth on you? That was pushing you over the edge so fast that you couldn’t think straight. There were no intelligent thoughts in your brain; the only thing that was there was Vernon, Vernon, Vernon...

Trying to lift your hips, you let out a choked moan when a second finger eases in to you next to the first. The feeling of being full and wet skyrockets you to the moon and back; your thighs shake on either side of Vernon’s head and before you can warn him, the coil that had been so quickly winding inside of you snaps.

Closing his eyes, Vernon groans loudly, feeling your thighs close around his head as you cum. He knew it was coming. He could feel your walls squeezing his fingers—the way you were pushing your hips down over his hand trying to fuck yourself. When you finally let your legs fall to either side, apologies slipping from your lips, Vernon silences them by slowly slipping his fingers from you so he can replace them with his tongue.

Fingers tightly grip at brown locks as you struggle to not trap Vernon’s head between your thighs once again. You sob out his name on a moan, tears running down your cheeks as your thighs begin to shake once again. “I can’t—oh, my god. It almost hurts, Vernon.”

Furrowing his brows, Vernon groans at how good you taste, but your words make him find his restraint. Licking his lips, he takes a deep breath and meets your eyes with blown-out pupils, his hips pressed firmly into your comforter to keep himself from rutting against it. “‘M sorry, baby. You taste so good. I don’t want it to hurt; I just want you to feel good.”

Vernon’s lips pull into a soft smile when you reach for him. Sliding up in the bed between your legs, he kisses your jaw and then your lips before gliding his tongue along yours, letting you taste yourself. Making a face, your brows knitting together, you pull back from Vernon to pout up at him and shake your head as his fingers lightly stroke your side. “Tastes awful… But I do feel good—so, so good. I—I want this. I want it all. Can I—you?”

A laugh starts to leave Vernon’s mouth, along with a comeback about how you taste like candy to him when your hand wraps around his cock and nothing he was going to say is left in his head. Groaning, he rests his forehead against yours, letting out a shaky breath before wrapping his hand loosely over yours and guiding it over his shaft in a slow stroke from base to tip and back.

“Tru—trust me… I want you to. I want so much with you, but fuck. If I let you do this or anything else…” A long groan of your name falls from Vernon’s lips as he meets your eyes, looking for mercy, when you break free from his hand and trace the slit in his head with your thumb, feeling pre-cum ooze around your finger. “Babe, I’ll cum before I can fuck you. I can’t bounce back as quickly as you and I really—don’t do this to me. Please, beautiful.”

You could see yourself getting addicted to the power of having Vernon’s cock in your hand. You loved how you were reducing him to breathy moans and begging, but you wanted to feel him inside of you. You wanted him to be your first and you wanted it today. You didn’t want to wait anymore. Lightly scratching your nails along the underside of his shaft, you pull your fingers from Vernon, watching him choke on his breath, his arms shaking as he struggles to keep himself above you. “Okay, Vernon, but I wanna do this next time.”

Next time. Those two words made Vernon feel like he was levitating. You didn’t want this to be a one-time thing. You wanted him in your life. Groaning deeply, Vernon nods, leaning down to capture your lips as he uses his left hand to pin your right wrist to the bed, keeping it away from his cock. “You can do whatever you want to me next time. I swear to god.”

Silence takes over the room; only your shaky breaths are left as Vernon’s thumb strums at your pulse point over your wrist. You had asked for this, and now that it was going to happen, you found yourself once again so nervous that you felt like you could faint. Vernon could see it in your eyes, all those nerves racing through your mind. There was enough stress on you; this should take it away, not add more… He’d do what he had to in order to let you know this wasn’t scary.

“Okay, baby? Rest your knee against my hip, keep your leg up... Should make it easier. I’ll go slow, and if you don’t like anything, you tell me right away. I’ll stop. I won’t be mad or sad.” Seeing the pout on your lips even as you move your leg like you were asked to do, Vernon copies it and shakes his head. “I like you so fucking much, Y/N. I liked you before we got in this bed and I’ll like you once we are out of it. This is a goddamn dream come true, angel.”

It was almost like you could hear him telling you that he loved you, and while it scared you, it also made you relax under Vernon. The brush of his thumb over your warm cheek, his lips lazily moving over yours as he lined himself up with you and began to ease himself into you—it was all overwhelmingly perfect.

Furrowing your brows to the stretch and then a stinging pain, you hiss on Vernon’s lips, causing him to look down at you as he finally bottoms out in you, feeling you clench around him. “Wait—” Nodding, Vernon bites at his lips, watching you closely as you seem to try to work out some internal problem, but as the pain starts to fade and your face relaxes so does his anxiety. “Okay, I’m okay. You can move.”

He wanted to. Vernon’s brain was telling him to fuck you hard and fast, but his heart reminded him who you were and where he was so he kept it slow. Each thrust smooth and steady so he could keep his eyes on your pretty face, watching for any signs of discomfort, but the deeper and longer he went, he only saw bliss. “Is it good? You like it?”

There weren’t words to describe how much you enjoyed the feeling of Vernon inside of you. It was as if you were made to be one and for you to feel this full, but as he kept his pace slow and his thrusts almost too shallow, you couldn’t explain the frustration building inside of you until it snapped. “Mmmhm, more? Can I have more?”

Closing his eyes to hide how they were rolling back in his head from pleasure to your words, Vernon nods and buries his face in the crook of your neck. He was dying for more. He would have kept this pace for the entire time if it was what you wanted, but it would have been torture for him, but those words... and asking for more?

“I’ll give you the fucking world. So, yeah, baby, I’ll give you more.”

Vernon’s choice of words makes you smile, a bit giddy at how love struck he sounds but your moment is short lived because he stays true to his words. A loud gasping moan falls from your lips as Vernon’s hips meet yours hard, his cock buried in you so deep you wonder how you are possibly able to fit all of him. The drag of his tip as he pulls almost all the way out of you almost makes you cry in fear you are losing him but then he is back inside of you as if he never left, his hips rutting against yours harder and faster.

“This what you wanted? More? Tell me it’s what you wanted.”

Tears once again form in your eyes as you nod, feeling that familiar tightening in your stomach. You couldn’t believe how quickly Vernon could get you to your orgasm. There had been nights when you would lay on your back, your fingers working hard only to find no satisfaction. Yet Vernon was making you cry with how good he could make you feel. “Please, yes! So good… It’s what I want, Vernon. Don’t stop, please. I’m gonna—”

You couldn’t even say that you were going to cum? God, you were perfect. Vernon’s perfect, pure little untainted rose that he was going to keep unsoiled by anyone else for the rest of his life if he had his way about it. Nipping at your jaw, Vernon groans loudly, feeling himself getting close to his own climax as your walls tighten and quiver around him. “Yeah? You gonna cum for me, baby? Say it… Do it for me? I wanna hear you say it.”

Pushing your head back against the pillow, you sob Vernon’s name as his fingers slip between your legs to rub at your clit as his cock fills you full, keeping you right on the edge. You find yourself wanting to give him exactly what he wants, even if it makes your entire body feel like it’s on fire and like you are going against every single moral thing you know. Biting your lips, you whimper, your words a whisper—yet Vernon smiles hearing each one. “I’m gonna cum for you.”

A deep thrust, one that sends you towards the headboard as his fingers circle your clit without mercy, makes you do exactly that. Choking on your moans, you feel Vernon’s thumb wipe under your eyes pushing away your tears as he whispers your name and how good you are before he groans deep and pulls from you suddenly.

Warm, sticky cum paints your stomach as Vernon’s hand strokes his cock quickly. Panting groans spill from between his lips as he sits back on his knees and lets his eyes move over your body to your face as you look up at him trying to catch your breath.

“Fuck, babe…” Running his hand over his mouth, Vernon sighs, glancing down at the pool of cum on your stomach, running towards the top of your mound and he swears his cock could get hard again. “I—shit. Whi—which room is the bathroom? I’m gonna get a washcloth and clean this off you.”

Gesturing to the hall, you mutter across the hall, watching Vernon roll from your bed and towards your door. The more time that passes, even as you listen to the sound of water from a room over, you feel your chest get heavy—a deep sense of dread washing over you as tears once again threaten your eyes. This time when the tears spill over your cheeks, they aren’t from pleasure and you find yourself confused as to why you feel so upset after something that felt so good.

Washcloth in hand, Vernon sighs only to stop in his tracks seeing you crying. “Wh—shit. No, what’s wrong?” Sitting on the bed beside of you, he runs his fingers through your hair while using his other hand to carefully clean your stomach. The moment he is back on your bed, his hands on you, the dread you had felt starts to fade, your chest feeling lighter.

“I–” Swallowing hard, you shake your head and lean into Vernon’s touch as he slides down in the bed and pulls you into his arms, letting you curl up against him tightly. “I don’t know. I felt so alone all of a sudden and scared.”

Shushing you, Vernon kisses your forehead, running his hand along your back as your fingers scratch lightly at his stomach, causing him to suck in a breath. “I’m—fuck… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you right after like that. I didn’t even think. That was so stupid. I just didn’t want all that shit to dry on your skin. I’m not gonna leave you, baby. I promise.”

Promise. That word makes your heart jump and you wrap your arm around Vernon’s waist, pulling yourself even closer to him. You knew that there was a risk of falling in love with the person who took your virginity, but that wasn’t what this was. This was something more. This was more about who Vernon was and the type of person he was.

Pressing a kiss to Vernon’s chest, you look up after to find him smiling down at you. It was taking everything in you not to say those three little words that he wanted to hear more than anything.

Tapping his fingers against his steering wheel, Christen sighs loudly as he turns on to your street. He was annoyed. You hadn’t been answering your phone, and you had avoided him for two days.

It wasn’t like he didn’t know what was going on. He was feeling some sort of way after going to the funeral too, but that didn’t mean he was going to be a bitch and cut people off from his life like you were. Clearly you were just dealing with shit and needed to be checked on.

Pushing his tongue against his cheek, Christen stares at the car in your driveway as if it will disappear. There was no fucking way that car was in your driveway. Your parents cars weren’t there, but Vernon Chwe’s was? Something was fucked up and he was fuming.

Slamming his car into park and leaning forward to look at your house, Christen narrows his eyes at what lights are on. Where could you and this freak be? What were you two doing? He wasn’t sure what pissed him off more. The fact that Vernon was at your house. The fact that he was at your house alone with you. Or the fact that your bedroom light was on while the rest of the house was dark.

“Motherfucker—I should…” The words trail off Christen’s lips as his eyes fall back on the Beretta, his blood boiling. If Vernon could taint something precious that belonged to him, he would ruin something precious of his.

Taking a deep breath, Vernon smiles when he realizes that you are in his arms. The smell of your shampoo and perfume almost overwhelms his senses even before he opens his eyes and pulls you a bit closer. He probably shouldn’t have stayed over, but after everything that happened, he couldn’t see himself leaving you—he didn’t want to leave you.

You had been beautiful the night before, but in the morning light that could make it through your curtains, you were stunning. Vernon usually didn’t like the mornings. He preferred to sleep in until later in the day and spend his time out later at night, but for you—to see this, he’d get up at the crack of dawn.

“Mmm…” Stretching against Vernon, you turn in his arms, nuzzling your nose against his chest. You were beginning to wake up, but everything around you still felt like the best dream ever. You were warm and safe in Vernon’s arms. Nothing bad could possibly happen to you ever again. There was nothing else besides what was in this room right now that mattered.

Leaning to brush your hair from your forehead, Vernon smirks a bit to himself as your nose wrinkles a bit and you seem to try to hide from his touch and the light by burying your face even closer to his body. “Baby…” The word slips from Vernon’s tongue like candy and you smile against his skin, remembering how many times he had called you that the night before. “I gotta go home... least for a bit. Come on, don’t hide from me; let me see your pretty face for a bit.”

Your smile fades at the idea of Vernon leaving you alone. You knew it wasn’t forever, but your mind was spiraling with the idea that he might not come back, so it took a lot of strength to meet his eyes and attempt not to look as sad as you felt. Though you tried to smile, Vernon could see the way your bottom lip was sticking out; he could see the concern in your eyes, and it almost broke his heart.

“No… hey.” Sitting up, Vernon pulls you into his arms and cups your cheek, pressing his lips to yours and taking your breath away. You were melting against him. Vernon could feel how pliant you were in his hands and it was almost too much for him to handle. He knew without even having to ask that if he wanted to, he could lay you down and make love to you all over again… but he had to wait. “I’ll be back. You think I’m leavin’ you? I’m not an idiot. Got me for as long as you want me, Y/N.”

It shouldn’t make you as happy as it does to hear Vernon pledge himself to you like he does after one night, but you can’t stop the smile that pulls at your lips even as you kiss him. “Promise? What if…” Laughing sweetly, you bite at your lip and give him a teasing look as he sighs, meeting your eyes. “What if I said forever?”

Groaning, Vernon furrows his brows, stroking your cheek with his thumb. You might be joking, but god, he wished you weren’t. “Then you can have forever. ‘M yours, long as you want me, like I said. Just gotta make sure my mom doesn’t file a missing persons report.”

Vernon laughs when you wince at his words, the cute look on your face making him fall even harder for you. He knew his mom wouldn’t actually do that, not after just one night. He had been gone for longer periods of time, but there were some things he needed to do before he came back to you.

“I’m sorry, Vernon... I’m clingy, I guess.” Trailing your fingers along his chest, you sigh into your pout, feeling his fingers trace your jaw. Shaking his head, Vernon lets his index finger move over your cupid’s bow, feeling your lips press against the pad of his finger. He wants to give in and stay right where he is.

“I’ll be back this afternoon, promise.”

Even after trying to feed Vernon or at least send him home with some form of food, you are left in your foyer with your lips tingling as he refuses, saying this is more than enough. You can only watch as he winks at you and closes the door behind him, leaving you alone in your house, making you realize just how quiet it is when you are by yourself while you count down the hours until he comes back.

Sliding the pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket, Vernon puts one between his lips and starts to light it when his mouth falls open, the cigarette falling to the pavement at his feet. A moment before he could hear the birds chirping, cars driving in the distance, and even kids playing down the street. Now he could only hear the blood rushing in his ears as his eyes moved over the side of his Beretta and the red paint that had dripped down the entire side of the door in big capital letters: ‘PERV’.

Shoving the cigarettes back into his pocket, Vernon curses through gritted teeth as he moves around the other side of his car, only to laugh in anger when he sees ‘LOSER’ on the other side in the same red paint. He didn’t need to figure out who had done this or even guess—he knew. There was only one person, Christen.

The sound of the car door slamming outside makes you jump, your brows furrowing at how angry it sounds. You start to move to your front door when you hear tires squeal out of your driveway and down the street, leaving you confused and feeling a bit sick to your stomach. You knew that Vernon was a bit different from what you knew, but he wasn’t the type of person in your mind to drive recklessly.

Deciding to settle back into the cushions of your couch and pass the time with television, you manage to zone out for a while. Your mind occasionally drifts to Vernon, causing your eyes to wander to the clock before you pull them back to your show. It had only been a couple of hours so when you hear a knock at your door, you are surprised but excited about the idea of him being back so soon.

Practically skipping to the door, you pull it open and your smile drops as you meet Christen’s eyes as he leans against his hand against the door frame, causing him to loom over you. “Wow, for a second there, I thought you were happy to see me, baby.”

The name baby on Christen’s lips makes you feel queasy as you take a step back and he takes it as an invitation to take a step into your house, kicking the door closed behind him. “I—I’m not up to hanging out.”

Scoffing, Christen tilts his head at you and glances around your house as if looking for someone else before his eyes land on you once again. “Why the fuck not? Cause I’m not Chwe?” Christen watches your reaction—how you almost recoil at Vernon’s last name. That was all he needed to know, as if he didn’t know that the fucker had been at your house last night. “What the hell are you doing, Y/N? Did—” Disgust creeps along Christen’s face as he gives you a once-over, searching for something unseen. “Did he—did that pervert touch you?”

You open your mouth to defend yourself and Vernon, but nothing comes out. You aren’t sure what to say. It’s none of Christen’s business and yet when he asks you something like that, you are overwhelmed with shame, as if you have done something wrong. The look evident on your face, Christen groans, lifting his hand to run it over his face, taking a step towards you to grab your wrist, pulling you towards him hard.

“He did. Baby… You gotta tell me.” Pulling your arm in his grasp, you whine, finding his grip too tight—painful. “Did he fuck you? Tell me he didn’t. Tell me you didn’t let that freak inside of you.”

Tears gather on your eyes as you pull once more at your arm, blinking a few times they slip on to your cheeks. “Let me go. Stop talking about him like that. It’s none—”

“What the fuck, Y/N!” Christen’s anger makes you stop moving and talking. His grip tightens on your wrist and all you can do is whine his name, more tears rolling down your cheeks. “I didn’t think you were a slut, but I guess that’s what you fuckin’ are. Jesus Christ! Giving it out to anyone who’ll take it, huh?”

Christen’s words cut deep at your heart and your confidence even as you shake your head trying to defend yourself, knowing he is wrong. You hadn’t done anything wrong. You had slept with one person your entire life and you cared deeply for him. Christen’s problem was that it wasn’t him. He was lashing out—he was trying to make you hate yourself, it was working.

“Who’s gonna touch you now, Y/N? After you let him fuck you?” Pushing your arm hard back towards you, Christen’s expression doesn’t change when the force of his action causes you to stumble backwards, falling on your ass. “It’s pathetic… You’re pathetic. Just a slut.”

Sobbing, you wrap your arms around yourself, begging Christen to leave you alone. Sucking his teeth, the man you had once called your friend tilts his head and stares at you for a moment longer before turning back towards your front door, leaving you alone once again by slamming your door. The sound of the windows rattling from the force of the door shutting makes you jump, a small shrill scream escaping your lips before you lay on your side, pulling your legs up towards your stomach and letting the tears fall freely.

Gritting his teeth, Vernon uses the back of his hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead as he kneels next to his car with a bucket and rag. He had been trying to clean the red spray paint from his black car for over an hour and he had barely made a dent. It was a hot day and the morning sun had only served to bake the paint into the clear coat of his Beretta.

Vernon didn’t cry, but as he leaned into his driver-side door panel with all the strength he could muster, he could feel the pressure behind his eyes. This was bullshit. He hadn’t done anything wrong to Christen. You hadn’t done a fucking thing wrong to anyone, and yet this small dick son of a bitch was lashing out like a child, going after the only other thing that Vernon loved.

The part of town that Vernon lived in wasn’t like yours or honestly, even his closest friends. Most people avoided it because of the lack of amenities and not many people wanted to be seen in the low-income section of such a well-respected little town. Vernon was used to the sound of engines revving; there were always beater cars that sounded like they were on their last legs going up and down his street so when someone seemed like they were late to an appointment, Vernon didn’t give it a second thought. He kept his eyes forward, his brows tightly furrowed as he grumbled.

Rolling his neck from side to side, Christen leaves his car door open and keeps his eye on the prize—Vernon Chwe with his head close to his stupid ass car as he scraped the truth written from it. He was surprised that he hadn’t heard him pull up; he hadn’t been subtle. Christen had left your house and hauled ass to get to this trailer park trash part of town and to take care of this.

Pain runs through Vernon’s face and head when he meets the side of his car with a loud thud. He can hear a muffled voice through the pain and ringing in his ears; it only becomes clearer when a boot meets his ribs, knocking the air from his lungs. “Stupid fucking freak. Couldn’t keep your hands off what doesn’t belong to you? I’ll fucking kill you.”

Blinking up at Christen, Vernon groans in pain, his hands grabbing for the foot that kept meeting his bruised torso in an attempt to stop the blows. Christen was furious, but so was Vernon. Anger had already been rushing through his veins and now his adrenaline was in overdrive. “Get the fuck off’a me!”

Vernon twists Christen’s foot hard, bringing the other man down to the ground with a loud, painful groan. Both try to make the next move, but Vernon is a second fast, letting him get in the first punch across Christen’s face. “You piece of shit! I was willin’ to let this go.” Vernon wasn’t lying; he had you. He had woken up and felt the best he had in a year. For the briefest of moments, it didn’t matter what anyone else thought about him, but as he felt Christen struggle under him, he knew he’d never know that peace with you again—not while he was breathing.

Laughing, blood on his lips from Vernon’s fist making contact, Christen uses his fingers to dig into Vernon’s forearm muscle as he pushes against him. “I ain’t letting anything go, you perv. Thinkin’ you are high and mighty now that you got some pussy. ‘Specially some that don’t belong to you!”

He was still laying claim to you. Not even Vernon would claim that you belonged to him after being with you. There was something about how Christen was talking about you, like you were an object, that made him bite through the pain of his grip long enough for him to get his footing. “She doesn’t belong to you! She hates you; don’t you fuckin’ get that, Christen?”

That was more than Christen could stand to hear. He could manage a few weeks of letting you sit in your mistake, washing the freak off of you before he would touch you—but the idea that you hated him? That was insane; no one hated him. Except maybe Vernon, but that feeling was mutual.

“She worships me, Vernon. Always fucking has.” Eyes like daggers follow Vernon as he stumbles backwards into his garage as Christen moves to his feet with a low groan. They were both exhausted, bruised, and bleeding—but this wasn’t over. Following Vernon, Christen points towards him as he wipes blood from his lips with his other hand. “Just cause you got her to put it out like a slut one time doesn’t mean a damn thing. You’re gonna pay for that and then you’re gonna get your ass out of her life.”

A slut. That was enough to make Vernon scoff into a laugh, his hand steadying him on an open drawer of his tool chest. You weren’t a slut; you were the furthest thing a person could be from something like that. The fact that Christen of all people was calling you told Vernon everything he needed to know—he didn’t care about you at all. Christen had never cared about you, and if he didn’t care about you, then he didn’t matter.

“Did you fucking hear me, freak?”

Vernon takes a sharp breath, his fingers wrapping around the handle of the knife as his eyes follow Christen’s broad steps towards him. Without a second thought, Vernon sinks the knife into Christen’s stomach, watching the smug look on his face slowly fade away into confusion and then horror.

Blood seeps around his hand as Vernon digs his free hand into Christen’s shoulder, preventing him from taking a step back until he allows it. Looking down at the knife, Venon feels his lips pull up in a slight smirk when Christen gasps in pain.

“Vernon…”

Vernon wasn’t sure he had ever heard Christen sound so pathetic and weak before as he pulled the knife from him, meeting his eyes. “I heard you. Can you hear this?” Christen gasps, a choking sound bubbling in his throat as blood seeps around his mouth when Vernon stabs the knife back into his stomach, deeper. The others Vernon had kept at a distance. He hadn't gotten his hands too dirty, but he would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit he was enjoying watching the life drain out of Christen’s face.

Wiping his hands, Vernon takes a deep breath, nodding at how much progress he had made on his car. Unless you knew what you were looking for, you couldn’t see where the words had been painted anymore, and if you looked in the garage, the only thing that would have told you that anything bad had happened was the smell of bleach.

Vernon tosses the rag on to the table before putting a cigarette between his lips and looking at the back of Christen’s car. He wanted to get back to you. He had been gone for too long after promising he just had a couple things to do—of course that had been before some unexpected hiccups—but Vernon meant to keep his promise.

Closing the truck, not giving a second look to the body rolled up in a tarp inside of it, Vernon lets out a deep breath of smoke before sliding behind the wheel of Christen’s car, feeling a wave of anxiety lifting off of him as he pushes his foot down on the gas. It was a nice car. He could tell that a lot of money had gone into keeping it up. For a second, Vernon pictures a time when he and Christen could have had a normal ass conversation about cars, but that’s short lived as he turns onto the secluded road leading to the lake.

“Sweetie, are you sure you don’t want to go to the cemetery?”

Sitting in the backseat of your father’s car, you shake your head, refusing to look up at either of them. You didn’t want to look your parents in the eye and tell them that you didn’t care enough to go to the cemetery and watch people cry over Christen for another hour. You had done plenty of that in the church while people had looked at you like you were going to shatter. You weren’t; Christen wasn’t what everyone thought he was to you, but it didn’t matter what you said or thought.

You father sighs, starting to say something when your mother coos in sympathy. When you do glance up, you wish you hadn’t when you meet Christen’s mother’s eyes. She looked broken, and yet you could tell she was loving the attention that this was bringing her. It was sick. “We are so sorry for your loss—”

“Y/N, darling… Ride with us in the limousine to the cemetery. It’s what Christen would want. He would want his girlfriend to be with his family, sweetheart. I know you are being modest, but you don’t have to be.”

Being cut off, your mother shifts her eyes from you and back to the woman in front of you as you look off to the side. She had never seen you this way. You were like a sunflower in the middle of a field of daisies and today it was as if the sun wasn’t rising for you. Thinking back, it had been that way for a while for you; they just hadn’t wanted to see it.

Shaking your head, you scratch at a bug bite on your arm, your lips rubbing together as you try to think of something nicer to say, but there was nothing you wanted to say that was kind or proper. “If you think that he’d want his girlfriend with his family, perhaps you should ask Caitlin to ride with you.” Avoiding the woman’s eyes, you look at your mother with a pleading look on your face as you reach for her hand and whine. “Mom, please… I just want to go home now.”

With a grimace on her face, your mother nods at you before meeting Christen’s mother’s eyes and seeing the fire behind them. “She’s exhausted; she hasn’t been herself for days since this happened. Please forgive and excuse us.”

You knew that not going to Christen’s funeral would be a big deal to some. There would be plenty of talk. There were plenty who—just like his mother—thought you were his girlfriend. They all thought this despite you giving no one—including Christen—any reason to think so. Perhaps there had been a time when you would have done the uncomfortable thing for appearance’s sake, but that girl was just as dead as Christen was.

Looking out the back passenger’s side window, you had been doing a good job of blocking out most of the conversation until your father’s voice lowered. It only did that when there was something to hide—something important—and now you were listening carefully. “He was brutalized... They’ve put the entire town on curfew. I just—what do we even do? We can’t leave her like this.”

Your parents were good at talking about you like you weren’t in the same room or car with them. They were good, decent people, but that didn’t make them excellent parents. None of that meant that when your mother had been nineteen years old and knocked up that she had actually wanted to marry your father and have you, and yet here you were—in the car, invisible but looming.

"Well, we don’t actually have a choice. That school is going to cost more than our damn mortgage.” Glancing into her visor mirror, your mother makes sure you are still watching the side of the road as she tries to keep her voice calm and low. “If she even still wants to go—”

“She’s going. I’ve put too much goddamn money up for it.” Gripping the steering wheel tightly, your father rolls his neck, feeling annoyance ripple through it. They enjoyed being the parents who went to barbeques and got to say their daughter was going to a notable university in the fall, but deep down your father resented it. You hadn’t played sports or been exceptional at your classes, so there were no scholarships; there was just mommy and daddy’s hard-earned money.

“Then that means we have to go to Chicago. She’ll understand…”

They were leaving again. You were used to it. You knew your parents worked hard but you had gotten good at raising yourself once you hit high school. At that age, you were old enough that your parents could take business trips and schmooze their bosses. It was harder to impress the higher-ups from a little desk behind a phone. It paid well to drink and rub elbows with the ones who mattered personally.

“Y/N… baby?” Furrowing your brows at the sweet shift in the tone of your mother’s voice when she speaks at a volume meant for you to hear. You meet her eyes in the mirror and tilt your head as she gives you a small pout. “I know things have been hard, honey. You’re strong, you know that? My strong girl...”

You knew what she was trying to do, and while you could appreciate the peptalk, you weren’t in the mood. Looking back towards the side of the road, you sigh, and your mother purses her lips. “There’s a curfew now. Everyone has to be in their houses at dark.”

“I know, Mom. The sheriff told us at the memorial—”

“I know he did. You also know that there is someone dangerous still on the loose, but Y/N…” Grimacing at the idea of what she needs to tell you after what she just said, your mother looks towards your father, feeling his hand slide over hers to give her a bit of courage. “You’re an adult now, and we have to trust you because we have a business trip. One that we can’t pass up.”

You didn’t want or need their excuses so you just nodded along with her words. “Okay, mom. I’ll be alright.”

Laying back on his bed, Vernon groans as he looks at the sun starting to set just over the horizon. He hated this curfew bullshit. As if the curfew would keep anything from happening to anyone... As if it would keep him from doing anything if it needed to be done.

“Vernon, did—are you listening to me?”

Your voice brings Vernon back to the present; he shifts the receiver on his shoulder and nods. “‘Course I am, baby. I’m just—I’m thinkin’.”

Walking around your kitchen with the cordless phone against your ear, you sigh softly to Vernon’s words before opening the fridge to see what you could make yourself for dinner. “Yeah? And—so? What do you think? I don’t wanna be here all weekend by myself. Don’t you wanna, maybe... spend some time with me?”

That’s all Vernon wanted to do. He could hear you moving around in your house, and he could picture himself there with you already. “You know I do. I just—don’t think I’d make it there by curfew. People didn’t wanna leave the matinee and—” Vernon could hear the disappointment in your sigh as you let out a deep breath. “I don’t want you mad at me.”

Dragging a pan from under the stove, you shake your head and lie to him and yourself as tears collect on the rims of your eyes. “Not mad. I’ll be fine. I’m gonna cook something and watch TV. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Vernon runs his hand over his face, a soft groan escaping his lips when you want to get off the phone with him. He knew you were lying. You might not be mad at him, but you weren’t thrilled either. After everything had happened with Christen, Vernon had taken a step back while still trying to be close. It was a strange feeling, trying to keep you safe without being so close that he was the issue. He wasn’t sure if someone would link him to something or not; he was smart and he had covered his bases, but he wanted to be sure before he got too close to you again. Yet now, hearing your soft breaths and knowing you were about to cry, Vernon knew he couldn’t keep it up.

“No… I’ll be over soon. Let me pack a couple things and I’ll figure it out. I’ll—” Scoffing into a laugh, Vernon slides off his bed and towards his desk as he rubs the back of his neck. “Try not to get arrested on my way over.”

You knew you should feel bad for pressuring Vernon into coming over, especially with how close it was to the curfew. There was probably less than ten minutes before it would go into effect, and his house was at least twenty minutes away on a good day. “Please don’t get arrested, and be safe. I—” Unspoken words had become part of yours and Vernon’s routine. You knew what you wanted to say—what you felt, but it all still seemed too early.

Swallowing hard, Vernon closes his eyes and imagines the two other words leaving your mouth before he sighs. “I’ll be alright. See you soon.”

Tapping his fingers on the steering wheel out of nerves, Vernon watches every corner and dark area as he drives to your house. There were a few others out, but he watched them quickly pull into driveways and usher children or spouses inside their houses. He wasn’t so worried about them as he was about the possibility of a cop lingering around the next street.

When your house comes into view, he finally breathes out a sigh of relief, pulling his car into your driveway and glancing at the houses closest to you. Everything was so quiet on your street. If there was anyone at your neighbor’s house, Vernon couldn’t tell. The house was completely dark and there were no cars in the driveway—the same went for the house across the street. Your house was like a lighthouse at a port.

Pulling his bookbag over his shoulder, Vernon groans a bit at the soreness in his muscles. He was still bruised heavily; that had been another reason he had been avoiding you. He didn’t want you to see that he was hurt, and he didn’t want you to worry about something you couldn’t fix. He had already fixed it.

Nerves roll through Vernon as he moves towards your front door and lifts his hand to knock. He just wanted to get inside and away from the street. He knew that if he got caught even outside of the house after curfew, the cops would have questions and he didn’t have all the right answers. Waiting a full minute, Vernon shifts uncomfortably and knocks again when he hears a loud crash from inside your house and raised voices. Something was wrong, and he wasn’t going to wait any more.

“You don’t even fucking care! You didn’t go to the funeral, Y/N. You’re such a selfish bitch.”

Staring at the broken glass of your mother’s vase on the hardwood floor, you shake your head as Caitlin’s voice breaks. You had been surprised when someone had knocked on your door earlier than expected. You thought that maybe Vernon had driven a bit too fast to make better time, but then you had been sorely mistaken when Caitlin had pushed her way past you and into your house wanting answers.

“This is crazy. You need to calm down—”

“Don’t you tell me to calm down! I’m so tired of being told to calm down.” Pacing in your kitchen, Caitlin laughs, the laugh causing a chill to run down your spine. It isn’t a sound you had ever heard your best friend make before because the laugh isn’t one of humor. It’s dark. “You never cared about him. That’s the fucked-up part. I loved him—like really loved him, and he wanted you!”

Picking up a bowl from the kitchen island, Caitlin doesn’t even think before she throws it towards you, narrowly missing your head as you duck, letting it hit the wall instead. Ceramic shatters behind you as you scream her name, begging her to stop. “It’s not my fault! I didn’t—please? Stop this…”

Vernon narrows his eyes as he moves down the dark hall towards the kitchen, just as Caitlin screams at you again. He had heard you scream and beg her to stop; he had heard more things breaking—all he wanted to do was get her away from you.

“It is your fault! He was murdered, you bitch!” Moving towards you quickly, Caitlin lunges at you, barely missing you as you push past her and back towards the pot boiling on the stove with tears streaming down your face. With tears streaking her own face, Caitling straightens her back and wipes hard at her cheeks as she stares at you with disdain. “I think you did it or you know who did. Shit like this doesn’t happen here, Y/N! Christen wouldn’t let someone close enough to him—to do that to him. So… I think you did it and I’m—”

Gritting his teeth hard, Vernon watches Caitlin’s eyes move to the knife on the counter before her hand does the same. Panic rushes through him as he tries to think of what to do next, knowing whatever she is going to do can’t happen.

Your back pushed up against the stove; you feel the hot steam against your back as you sidestep towards the fridge looking for a way out. You search for a way to get away from Caitlin as you watch her weigh the weight of the knife in her hand before she looks back at you and then her face contorts with even more hatred. “Please... Put it down, Caitlin. You’re my best friend. Don’t do this.”

Caitlin was barely looking at you now as Vernon stepped out of the hall and into the kitchen behind you, his eyes fixed on her. Now it all made sense. All the pieces were clicking in her mind and she was right. She didn’t need some dumbass cop to solve a murder when she was looking at the murderers right now. “You did it, didn’t you freak?”

Shaking your head, you take a step back, jumping when you feel a warm hand on your shoulder. Glancing up at Vernon quickly, you look back at Caitlin to keep your eyes on her and the knife. “Caitlin—”

“Shut the fuck up, Y/N! Are you blind? You know how much he hates us.”

Vernon just sighs, his hand sliding along your arm as he tries to move you behind him and out of the way of danger, even if it means putting himself in the line of it. Caitlin laughs as she watches, the knife pointed in your direction, the tip falling slightly forward in her amusement at the sight and the look in your eyes. She wasn’t an idiot; she was the smartest person in the fucking room and she knew you were in love with the fucking loser standing in front of you. All the pieces fit together like one big fucked-up puzzle.

“Oh, I’m sorry... How much he hates me. How much he hated Christen... He clearly doesn’t hate you and you are in love with the person who killed your friend.” Making a face, Caitlin looks like she’s going to be sick, her fingers tightening on the handle of the knife. “God, I can’t even look at you. You let him do it?”

Shaking your head, you try to push past Vernon, feeling defensive of him when Caitlin tries to blame him for murder. It wasn’t that you hadn’t even considered it yourself in times of weakness—you wouldn’t even have blamed him—you just didn’t want her doing it. “Shut up! You don’t know anything, Caitlin! He hasn’t done anything wrong; it’s always been you!”

Trying to keep a grip on your arm, Vernon says your name and winces when you accidentally push back against his ribs. Everything happens so quickly in front of him that even though he tries to be the first one to act, he watches it like a movie in front of him.

Caitlin screams in anger, finally letting go of all of it that had been boiling in her blood as she sees red and storms forward with the knife. Her intention and eyes set on Vernon; she finds herself surprised and annoyed when your hand grabs her wrist, keeping it back from the man. Of course you would stop her; she had been so close—but at this point, in her mind, it was two birds, one stone.

“Stupid bitch!” Caitling’s shrill voice cuts into your ears just as much as the knife as she slashes at your arms, the two of you falling on to the kitchen floor. The only thing you want to do is get the knife away from her—keep her from making anymore mistakes, but when you feel pain followed by warmth spreading along your stomach, your blood run’s cold.

“Fuck… Fuck!” Pulling on Cailtin’s arm, Vernon panics when he hears the sound of a choking gurgling—the sound of someone swallowing their own blood. From where he is standing, all he can see at first is blood on the white tiles, and the last person with the knife in their hand had been Caitlin. With his heart in his throat, Vernon whispers your name like a prayer as he separates you from Caitlin, and his eyes fall to the knife, and your chest rises and falls in panic.

Meeting Vernon’s eyes, you quickly look down at your hand and the blood running along your fingers before seeing the knife buried deep in Caitlin’s stomach near her ribs. “No… no, no, no!” Sobs fall from your lips as Vernon pulls you back against him, his arm wrapping around your waist as tears fall along your cheeks.

He knew you were upset; you were panicking, but Vernon kept his head. Turning your arms over in his hands, he shakes his head and whines your name, seeing the cuts and deep gash near your wrist. “Baby… shh. Listen—stop! Listen to me.” Vernon didn’t want to yell at you, but you had started to struggle against him, your eyes moving over Caitlin’s lifeless body as blood seeped from her mouth and you wanted to do something to change it. “We— It’s time to go. We are going to wrap your arm and then…”

Shaking your head, you sob his name, feeling him turn you in his arms as he reaches for a dishcloth, wrapping it around your wrist tightly. “Yes, Y/N. You did nothing wrong. It was self-defense, baby... But they won’t give a fuck, so—baby girl, we gotta go.” Holding your cheeks between his hands, Vernon meets your eyes, and tears run over his fingers as you try to understand what he’s telling you. “We are leaving.”

It takes half an hour for you to pack a bag and to be settled in Vernon’s passenger’s seat. You try to make heads or tails about what is happening, what’s real, and what has to be a dream as you both sit in the darkness of the garage across the street, waiting for the right time.

You had insisted on calling the cops. Vernon had wanted to leave right away, but you didn’t want to leave Cailtin alone in your kitchen like that. So now you were stuck watching as three police cars slammed on their breaks in front of your house, and each cop held their gun at the ready as they entered.

When the call had been made, you had been crying, saying you and your boyfriend were hurt and that your friend had been hurt too. They asked if the person who had hurt you was still in the house and without needing to lie, you had looked at Caitlin and said yes. Vernon had watched you carefully, waiting for the right moment before he grabbed the phone out of your hands and threw it against the wall hard enough for it to break. He was smart, you realized then. You also realized you didn’t know him as well as you thought—there was a lot you needed to learn about the person you were now on the run with.

“They found her.” Sighing, Vernon leans his head back as one of the cops comes out of the house with his hand over his mouth. Small town cops weren’t used to this much death; Vernon almost felt bad for him. “We can wait until they get the ambulance out here and day breaks—then we go.”

Closing your eyes, you nod, feeling fresh tears rolling down your cheeks. This was the only place you knew, the only life you knew and it had just been taken from you so quickly. Fingers wrap around yours, and Vernon’s lips brush over your knuckles as he furrows his brows, watching you closely. You were falling apart, but he wasn’t going to lose any of the pieces. He’d put you back together, no matter how long it took and no matter how far he had to take you away from here to do it.

“Me and you, Y/N, okay?” Meeting Vernon’s eyes, you nod again, seeing his lips pull up slightly as he kisses your knuckles. Silence is almost deafening in the car, as you watch red and blue lights move across Vernon’s face, his eyes searching yours before he finally speaks again. “I love you.”

READ THE BONUS ON PATREON

#vernon smut #seventeen smut #svthub #svt smut #vernon angst #seventeen angst #svt angst #vernon toxic #seventeen toxic #svt toxic #vernon horror #seventeen horror #svt horror #vernon x reader #hansol x reader #hansol smut #seventeen #svt x reader #seventeen xreader

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lohotine · 9 months ago

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AN: This is the Shadow Milk version of the Affogato post I made a while back- hahaha .-

(Fem again bc that's all I know how to write smut about. And if you saw me already post this on accident, no you didnt.)

Oh yeah, shout out to @vkxiraa again for help!! (They assisted with the start for this-)

Shadow Milk x Reader

Oneshot

Warnings: Sexual scenes, marking, oral, degrading, choking, swears, mirror fucking, overstimulation, creampie, NSFW, overall unholy,

-Obedience-

….Well, this situation is certainly interesting.

You were now Shadow Milk's 'puppet', as he likes to say.

His very own that would do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

You were like some sad excuse of a pet. He even gave you a collar and everything.

Suddenly, the room filled up with light as Shadow Milk Cookie entered, twirling around energetically.

“Doll~! I have a little gift for you!”

Finally; some real light... This is the first time you've seen it in a long time.

You could not screw this up...

"Ah, what is it?" You asked him.

Shadow Milk Cookie gave you his signature grin as he crawled in-between your legs.

A subtle blush would dust your cheeks, "What's this for-?" You asked, averting your gaze from Shadow Milk.

"Just rewarding you for your obedience.." He'd say, slowly slipping off your skirt and panties.

A cold breeze could be felt along your now exposed clit.

Shadow Milk gently pushes your legs apart with his hands before licking a long line over your entrance.

"You always taste so sweet.." he admitted before sucking on your already dripping cunt.

Shaky breaths escaped from your lips as Shadow Milk began to fuck you with his tongue.

"Come on love, let me hear you."

His voice sent a vibration that went up to your core, signaling a moan from you.

Your legs would twitch each time Shadow Milk swirled his tongue around in your insides.

His nails would dig into your plush thighs as he ate you out like he had been starved for weeks.

Loud exasperated moans spilled from your lips as he continued to suck and taste all of your liquids.

When it came the time for your orgasm to finally set into place, you'd leak all of your cum onto his tongue, to which he glady swallowed.

Just when you thought he had finished with you, he'd push you further onto the bed and flipped you over so that your knees and hands were pressed onto the bed.

Shadow Milk swiftly removes his pants before grabbing your hips.

He slowly pressed his tip into your swollen pussy, causing you to tighten around nothing at all.

"So eager for my cock?" He leans in towards your neck and whispered. "Such a needy slut.."

Shadow Milk Cookie finnaly presses fully into you, moving in and out, slowly and teasingly.

"Fuck, you're so tight.." He'd say before quickening his pace.

You pressed your face into the pillows as he'd thrust into you, muffling your moans.

He tugged on the back your collar, pulling your face out from the pillows below.

"Doll, make sure I can hear you while I rearrange your guts, yeah?"

Tears picked the corners of your eyes as he slammed into your already overstimulated self.

You could see yourself in the mirror infront of you, drooling and letting out unintelligible noises.

The pain would quickly turn into pleasure as he managed to hit all of your good-spots, and you'd hold onto the sheets like your life depended on it.

You kept cumming on his throbing cock, again and again, unable to say any words.

Shadow Milk placed a hand on your breast, rolling your nipple and sucking a hickey onto your neck.

You'd tighten around him with each thrust, taking him in deeper and deeper.

"Want me to cum inside of you?" Shadow Milk asked as tugged on the collar around your neck, causing it to become slightly harder to breathe.

"Y- yes-!" you chocked out between screams of pleasure.

You felt his cock twitch inside of you after you said that, before he released his seed deep inside of you.

Shadow Milk would flip you onto your back before pounding into you once more.

"We're not stopping until you've either drenched the sheets or pass out."

《☆》 Fin

#crk #cookie run kingdom #crk x reader #cookie run kingdom x reader #cookie run #smut #shadow milk cookie crk #shadow milk cookie x reader smut #cookie run kingdom shadow milk cookie x reader #shadow milk x reader #shadow milk #shadow milk cookie x reader crk oneshot #shadow milk cookie oneshot #shadow milk cookie x reader #ckr smut #cr kingdom #cookie run kingdom x reader smut #shadow milk cookie

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chilschuck · 8 months ago

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HAVE YOUR CAKE (AND EAT IT TOO).

꒰ warnings: ꒱ none! sfw + typical fluffy goodness.

꒰ wc: ꒱ 2.3k

✦ happy birthday, chil!!! this is a little rushed because i wanted it out right at midnight, but i hope it turned out alright!! tumblr ate the post as i tried to save it, so lets hope it posts this time! if anything seems out of place or ooc, i’m so sorry, it’s currently late and i just wanted to write some cuteness for him and you guys!!! enjoy!!! <3333

The countdown leading up to this day had you filled with nervous excitement.

Not only was it Chilchuck’s birthday, but the day you decided you’d try to relay just how you felt about him all this time. With sweaty palms you looked at yourself in the mirror, dressed up for his surprise get-together you and the rest of the party had planned. Secretly, you hoped he wouldn’t catch on so fast that it was truly mostly your idea that had started this.

Inhaling one last breath and letting it pass through your chest, you dusted off your outfit you considered the nicest one you had. In a perfect box with sage green wrapping paper, his gift from you sat beautifully on your bed. Putting all the finishing touches on it you could, a ribbon cascades off the top along with a sweet note card with his name in curly letters. A part of you worried it was a bit too much, but for him, you’d find you’d always go above and beyond.

Turning to hold it in your hands, you considered the contents for a moment. Inside was a new pair of gloves you had sewn for him in the coming weeks, along with a favorite ale of his you had managed to purchase for him. It was simple, much more so than the intricate packaging, but you hoped he’d be pleased.

The half-foot had told you his birthday reluctantly, but now that you knew, you made sure you’d never forget. Whether writing it in your notes or pinning a paper on your calendar, there was no way you were going to let it pass by. He deserved so much more than he gave himself, and you made it your duty to ensure he was happy.

In a few minutes everyone would begin showing up, and to keep yourself busy you set the little table in your dining room with all the food you had prepared. Everything you had taken into account from your time adventuring with him, which consisted of his favorites or even things he’s mentioned liking in passing. Slowly but surely you had managed to get him to open up a little, which was a feat you pride yourself on. Because of this, you felt you were closer than you were before. Now it was time to really tie everything together with that metaphorical bow.

A knock at the door had your heart beating excitedly in your chest, and after yelling out a quick, “Coming!” you made your way to open it.

Except… It wasn’t at all who you were expecting. Suddenly you were face to face with the guest of the hour, who had a furrowed brow of concern on his face.

“Everything okay? Marcille told me to come quickly because you needed help with something.” Chilchuck spoke, studying your appearance for a moment. “Uh, did I interrupt something?”

You were going to kill her. Already picturing her mischievous expression at trying to make something happen like out of her romance novels, you gave a brisk sigh.

“Not at all, quite the opposite, actually…” With quick hands you cracked the door, before peeking out the other side. “Can you… Close your eyes and come in?”

Chilchuck looked even more perplexed at your request, before letting out a sound of confusion. Ever trusting you, he put a hand over his eyes and reached his other one out to you to guide him in. So far so good.

“This didn’t turn out how I exactly pictured it, but…” You began, leading him to the dining room where you had decorated for the supposed party that now only contained the two of you. “You can look now.”

As he removed his hand, you jumped beside him in your spot, shouting cheerfully. “Happy Birthday, Chil!”

His eyes widened, taking in the scene in front of him. A table full of food, seemingly his favorites, as well as fresh flowers from your garden. Even streamers were put up around the wall, along with a bottle of wine you only busted out for special occasions.

“Huh? You did all this for me?” Chilchuck muttered, turning to catch your eyes. That sparkle in them, the same one they always had, caused his stomach to erupt with butterflies. Especially with the way you were smiling at him right now.

“Of course I did, you think I’d let you celebrate your birthday cooped up at home?” Your voice was soft, but held true with intent to make this a night worth remembering for him. Chilchuck gave a light laugh, scratching the back of his head for a moment. You really were too good to him.

The half-foot went to study the foods you had set out, before spotting the cake placed sweetly in the middle. It wasn’t very big, about as big as the pan you usually baked with, but even so… Chilchuck swallowed.

“I know you’re not too big on sweets, but you can’t have a birthday without cake, right?” Your voice met his ears, words playful yet with a hint of something he couldn’t quite place. All of this was making him lose his voice, even more so unable to word his feelings than usual.

“It’s great…” He muttered, before turning to you. In his eyes a spark of vulnerability made itself known, and you hoped you weren’t just mistaken.

“I can’t believe you did all this. I feel spoiled.” Chilchuck reached for a cup, sheepish and eager to hide his burning cheeks behind something. All of this matched with your current outfit was making him feel a little weak.

You waved your hands, moving to grab the bottle of wine. “It’s nothing! You deserve stuff like this. Also, there were supposed to be others but I’m guessing they had other plans.” Trailing off, you grumbled the last part to yourself. The wine filled his glass easily, a sight he was always happy to take in.

Along with you. Chilchuck had to busy himself with a drink before he focused too hard on how good your outfit looked tonight, how you did your hair, the way you kept smiling at him… Clearing his throat, he tried to find something to say to fill the silence.

Before he could speak though, you perked up and went to reach for something behind the table. “Oh! I almost forgot, I got you a little something, too.”

He felt like he was going to melt into the floor. All of this to celebrate just another day for him? Sure, he would treat himself a little, but this… It was like you wanted him to dwell too hard on those feelings he’s been keeping at bay.

Setting down his glass, Chilchuck reached out to take the box from you, gaze taking in just how beautifully it was wrapped. Even the bow on top was so much like something you’d do, down to the note with his name written so nicely on it.

“You really didn’t have to.” Your name left him softly, eyes flitting back up to yours. You waved your hands at him again, before giving him that grin that always made him feel hazy.

“I know, but I wanted to. Now open it, I’ve been waiting so long for this.” The laughter that followed was so sweet, and Chilchuck had to distract himself with the ribbon on his gift.

Pulling it gently, he let it fall to his feet in a small pile. Picking at the folds in the paper, he tried to be as careful as he could with it. You noticed this, unable to hold back the giggle that erupted from your throat. “You don’t have to be like that, it’s meant to be ripped.”

Chilchuck ripped into it this time, barking out, “I know that!” Before he could say anything else, he lifted the lid of the box.

Quick to explain your gift, you interrupted his thoughts. “The gloves were something I made to help with your new business and all. The ale was just… A bonus.” Watching him pick up the gloves and study them, you added, “I hope they’re okay.”

He couldn’t even begin to word how he felt at that moment. Not only did you do all of this for him, but you made him a gift and remembered even more about him? You might as well have taken his heart right out of his chest and ran off with it. Gently, he gave a small smile at your words. “It’s more than okay! I still can’t believe all of this. I’m not sure what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything! I’m just glad it’s okay. Here, want me to get you a slice of cake or anything?” Your eagerness to make him happy had his heart race a bit, and Chilchuck couldn’t help but let out a content sigh as he turned the gloves over in his hands. Setting them down back into the box, he met your eyes.

“You’ve done too much. As expected, since I told you and all.” Chilchuck joked, watching as you cut into the baked good you worked so hard on. His hands took the plate from you, the flowery green icing hiding the wedges of chocolate underneath. Taking his fork, he took off a piece from the corner and studied it. “I should’ve known you would’ve gone above and beyond.”

Huffing playfully, you turned to cut yourself a slice of your own. “I spent all that time getting it out of you, and you think I’d just forget?” Taking a bite, you hummed, mulling over the flavor in your mind. “Hm, could’ve turned out a little sweeter, but I guess that’s a good thing, huh?”

Chilchuck brought his own fork to his lips, curious to taste some of your baking again. At no surprise at all, it turned out really light and fluffy, the icing pairing well with the tenderness of the cake. “It’s good. I like how rich it is,” He spoke up through his taste test. You beamed at him, that same smile that made him feel like he had been staring a little too long at the sun.

“I’m glad I was able to do this for you. Sorry it wasn’t very climactic of a surprise.” Chilchuck shook his head at your words, taking another piece of cake on his fork. His next sentence died in his throat at the look on your face, pausing to wait for you to finish.

“In a way, I’m kind of glad it ended up like this. There’s something I wanted to tell you ever since we stopped adventuring.” Setting your plate down for a moment, you bit your lip. Once sure you had his full attention, you continued.

And of course you had his full attention. You always did, and there was no contest for it when it came to you. Yet, the nervousness in his gut made an appearance despite how hard he tried to ignore it.

For some reason, the words never left you. Instead, your eyes were fixed on something on his face. He could practically hear the gears whirring to life in your head.

“Sorry, you’ve got… Right there, hang on.” Your touch, gentle enough to make him nearly jump out of his skin if he was not so tightly wound, trailed along his bottom lip. In the corner of his mouth was a bit of icing, which had somehow made a place there without him noticing. There was a thick tension in the air as you wiped it with your thumb, tongue darting out to wet your own lips.

His mind must be playing tricks on him, as the cake in his hand was suddenly not the sweetest sight in the room. Instead, he felt conflicted thoughts about whether or not he wanted to let you continue your work, or have you stop what you were doing and just kiss him stupid.

Before he could decide on which he preferred more, you leaned in to place a kiss right at that spot, so soft and tender that he barely could register it happened at all. Pulling away, you looked at him through your lashes, a rosy glow on your cheeks.

“What I wanted to say, was—“

Suddenly he was no longer interested in the plate in his hand or the words you were going to speak. Setting down his plate with haste, he pulled you in and slotted his lips against yours. With a vigor he didn’t know he still possessed, he kissed you with need.

This was a better result than you had imagined, reaching for his cheeks to hold him even closer to you. Pulling away only to hurriedly meet his lips again, you both fought off that need for air as much as you could. The taste of buttercream icing and the richness of chocolate was so addicting as you felt him nibble at your bottom lip, allowing him to kiss you even deeper in that moment.

Finally pulling away, you both tried to calm your panting with the realization of what just happened. Before you lost your bravery again, you sputtered out, “I’ve fallen for you.”

Chilchuck couldn’t help but let out an airily laugh for a moment, your words a mirror of his own feelings. With every ounce of strength he could muster, he replied, “I’d hope so after a kiss like that.”

Now you were giggling, your nerves subsiding for a moment at his teasing expression. “Yeah, yeah. Happy birthday, smartass.”

“For the record,” Chilchuck muttered before taking his plate back, an idea forming in his mind. “I… Feel the same. But maybe we should do that again. Just, you know—“

Your hands made home on his cheeks again before pulling him back in for another heated kiss, the cake being forgotten just for another moment.

It was so addicting, the way you let him have his cake and eat it, too.

— banners by @/cafekitsune!! <33

#⟡ lilia writes! 🌿#IM NERVOUS ABT THIS BC IDK IF I LIKE IF #BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHILCHUCK MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!#what do you guys think of this theme???#maybe????? hmmmmmm #giving him so many kisses in my head rn #hope you guys enjoy!!!! <33333 #chilchuck x reader #delicious in dungeon x reader #dunmeshi x reader #chilchuck tims x reader #dungeon meshi x reader

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thecourtjester-e · 24 days ago

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Do you have to let it linger? Pt. 1

A/N: hey yall! First fic! This is part one to kind of get a feel for if people like this and want more. Let me know.

Third person POV

You're a streamer/singer/dancer who is asked to sing at the wedding of a fellow streamer. Schlatt is invited too, which means more fake flirting and bullying. Unless the flirting isn’t fake after all.

Y/N- She/her (may write more gn in future)

Slow burn, yearning, fluff

No warnings (for now..)

——————

Being friends with Jschlatt is weird. It’s actually like you’re friends with two people at the same time. In front of a camera he’s a boisterous, loud, obnoxious character, but behind it he’s pretty quiet and closed off even. He doesn’t do the cons or public appearances. He’s actually pretty introverted.

When you met schlatt on “love or host” in 2020 you didn’t love the energy, but did think he was funny. You made him laugh, you related to each other both being from the east coast, and you did find him wildly attractive. You choose host that game which led to an awkward conversation when you won. You invited him to your stream anyway though since you ended up regretting your decision. You playfully bullied and flirted with each other for a couple hours. Afterwards schlatt reached out and was friendly and chill behind the scenes. Even though he does still hold a grudge about you choosing host. This started an amusing partnership spanning the past couple years that was mostly him interrupting your streams to bully and flirt with you and you being “annoyed”. In reality you guys spend a lot of time on the phone after streams talking or just working on your own shit while in each other’s company. You’d fall asleep to his streams on nights he would stream. And he’d call you during them sometimes.

“When are you moving to Austin?” He’d tease

“When you fund my move,” You shoot back.

“Fucking gold digger,” he’d respond, sipping on his drink.

After many months of this and many appearances on each other’s channels and fancams you guys got used to this routine. Constantly getting asked about each other on each other’s streams. You had met only twice in person. Once a couple months after love or host, at the height of the “shipping”.

A week before you met in person for the first time, schlatt called during a stream of yours, “when I get out to LA I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you. And that’s no j-“

you hung up before he could finish the sentence and slammed your phone on the table laughing with fake frustration and put your head in your hands to hide your burning cheeks. You pretended to be annoyed and disgusted even, but in reality, that made for great content. You don’t even have to look at chat to know it’s going a million miles an hour. “Chat, can we ban that guy?”

You guys just knew how to boost each other’s numbers. Sometimes you didn’t even realize he was in the chat until people started freaking out.

You got into streaming because of Ted. You met Ted in college through mutual friends who you don’t even talk to anymore, and he convinced you to get on twitch to boost your numbers on your videos. You normally post your music or dancing, but Ted got you into streaming games and it helped get people into your other content. He’s the one who got you on love or host too. So really he’s to blame for all of this.

The first time you met, Schlatt was coming out to LA for chuckle week, a week of podcasting with Ted and Charlie, which you had been invited to be on. The meeting was highly anticipated and now thanks to schlatt, public knowledge, so your socials were very busy leading up to it.

The day everyone arrived you drove over to Ted’s place where everyone was hanging out. You couldn’t help but feel nervous. It’s weird, you felt so comfortable around Schlatt online, but in person? What if it just wasn’t the same?

When you arrived you went up to Ted’s apartment door and let yourself in with a deep breath and shaking hands. Faking confidence you yell as you burst in, “WHATS UP CHUCKLE FUCKS??”

A chorus of excitement from the group as you entered with schlatt nowhere in sight. You got in and said hi to everyone. Connor came out to say hey, “schlatt’s upstairs,” he said after giving you a hug.

You nodded and went back to mingling, Ted got you a drink and you were all catching up when I heard from upstairs, “where is she? WHERE’S THE BROAD?!”

You looked towards the stairs where you see Schlatt hurdling down them. You move to meet him in the middle of the room and as you do he grabs your waist and hoists you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and laughs maniacally. You immediately started laughing and pretend to struggle and yell.

“HELP HELPPPP ME!” You scream between laughter as he walks out the front door and shuts it, but as soon as you get outside he sets you down laughing. You both laugh hysterically and he gives you a big bear hug.

“Holy shit you’re real!” He finally says holding your arms, looking at you in full now still grinning ear to ear. You can tell he’s a little nervous about being in each other’s presence too.

“Jesus, dude,” You laugh still composing yourself after being manhandled. “Of course I’m real,” you laugh. The nerves melted away pretty quickly as you playfully smacked him.

He giggled mischievously and opened the front door to go back in where everyone was also still laughing. You could see Connor had his phone out recording the interaction. That’ll surely make the rounds on twitter later, you thought to yourself. The evening proceeded and it got sloppy relatively quickly thanks to the excitement of being together.

The week was mostly work for the boys and you only saw them again when you filmed your episode with them, but schlatt did make sure you guys all went out together one more time before he left.

When you did check twitter, the video of Schlatt throwing you over his shoulder and running out the door was blowing up. People in the comments losing it over how cute you two were.

—————

The second time you saw Schlatt in person was just as busy and chaotic. You went to Austin to visit him and other fellow streamers for a big streaming event. You didn’t get to see Schlatt too much but one of the last nights you guys hung out and stayed up all night as his house hanging out and talking. You guys played Mario kart and watched YouTube, but by the end of the night you guys put on Radio Head and discussed their discography and your mutual love for them.

“You know it’s funny though, one of their songs is my least favorite song of all time,” you say.

“Which one?” He responds.

“Creep. I fucking hate that song,” you fume.

“What? Why?” He asks.

“I hate that it’s their most popular song and it’s so shallow. It’s like what guys put on before they tell me I’m “not like the other girls” you know?” You finish.

“Honestly bad take dude,” he responds.

You guys keep arguing back and forth about Radiohead for a while until the conversation dies off.

“I’m moving back to New York,” schlatt finally says.

“Really why?”

“I fucking hate Austin.”

“Wow big surprise there.”

“Seriously dude it sucks. I wasn’t built for this heat, and everything is just fucking insufferable,” he rants.

“Well now I have more of an excuse to go back out to the East coast,” you respond. “When do you move?”

“When you leave I’m gonna start packing.”

You nod and pet Jambo who has found his way over to the couch and onto your lap. Schlatt scoops up the other one and starts terrorizing him. you giggle at them.

“Is it weird that I’m gonna miss you?” He asked. It’s late in the night, the drinks and tiredness influencing his mind.

“Yeah a little. You’re like obsessed with me or something though so it makes sense,” you say shrugging.

“We’re barely business associates,” he said back, Slipping into character, “fucking bitch.”

“Shut up, baby. You know you want me,” You said in a sultry tone. You look at his cheeky smirk. He tried to avoid your gaze and chuckled as he finished his drink. “I’m going to miss you too,” you finally said.

It hadn’t meant to be serious, but you could feel the tension shift after you spoke. All the jokes in person and online, sometimes you wondered where the line was. It was blurry and getting blurrier by the day. When the cameras were off he didn’t flirt with you as much if at all. But there was a genuine side to the playful flirting that seemed too real sometimes. When he’d speak he’d sound so serious even if it was an obvious joke. It made you a little excited and flustered sometimes when he said stuff on camera.

Sitting so close to him, he smelled so good, musky, and like clean shampoo, but also laundry soap. It was distracting. Man you were tired. And delusional. But the way he smiled at you, his eyes were dark and his freckles so perfect on his face. You shook your head and shook the thoughts away.

Fuck I need to go to bed.

———

The last time you saw Schlatt was over 3 months ago, and you did miss Schlatt like you said you would. Working on music and being in the studio dancing kept you busy, not to mention streaming. But late at night he would call you and you would chat until the early hours.

A fellow streamer contacted you out of nowhere several months ago about performing at his wedding you immediately said yes. He wanted you to sing a duet for the first dance and for the mother son and father daughter dances. It was such an honor to be part of someone’s special day like that, of course you said yes. So for the past months you’ve been rehearsing with a fellow singer/creator, Max, and now the wedding week was here.

Hotel arrangements were made in the place the same hotel the wedding will be held so you can get ready there. You showed up a day ahead of everything so you can see the space and practice. you have to do it in secret because the bride didn’t know you would be performing. The groom wanted it to be a surprise so you’ve kept most of it down low.

You did tell schlatt and Ted you’d be there a day early since they were both invited as well. You told them you’d be performing and to keep it a secret. You didn’t tell them much else about it though to keep it confidential. while driving to the hotel you get a call from Ted.

you answer, “Hey what’s happenin’ captain?”

“Heeyyyyy, Y/N!” He responds. He sounds immediately suspicious.

“What did you do?” You crack back.

“W-what do you mean?” You hear someone in the background.

“Who’s with you???”

“No one.”

“Theodore.”

“….Tucker… And schlatt.”

“Heyyyy Y/N,” you hear Schlatt say over exaggerated.

“Heyyy” you hear Tucker.

“Wtf I thought you guys weren’t going to be here until tomorrow morning?”

“They weren’t but then they decided to come a night early so we can hang out.”

“You guys know I have to practice right now right?” You say feeling stressed.

“Yeah but after we thought we’d hang out at the hotel or go out!” Ted responds hopefully.

You sigh trying not to expose how truly excited you are that your friends are here, throwing up a shield of annoyance. “Ok alright, come by at 7 I should be done then.” They agree and hang up.

Getting to the hotel all went smoothly, you met with the wedding planner and their team to be shown where you would be performing and met up with Max. You got to practice a couple times and do a sound check before the rehearsal dinner started. The whole time you felt like your heart was pounding in your chest. You felt distracted at the thought of seeing your friends who you haven’t seen in a while.

Your heart kept skipping thinking about schlatt being here. You couldn’t help but feel the butterflies in your stomach when you thought about schlatt lately. You missed him so much, more than you expected and all you want to do is hug him and be near him again. You push those thoughts out of your head as you went back to your hotel room.

You get freshened up and text Ted to tell him you were done earlier than expected. Ted responded almost immediately

We’re in my hotel room

345

Your heart skipped, you didn’t realize they were here already. You grab your purse and flannel and practically run to the elevator. Pressing 3 and waiting trying not to jump up and down. As you got out of the elevator you looked down the hall to see Schlatt swearing at himself in front of a door.

“Hey!” You yelled down to him, making him jump.

“Holy shit. you scared the dick out of me.” He starts walking down to you.

“I missed you too pookie bear!” You say reaching to hug him. He grabs you hard and lifts you up just enough to pick your feet off the ground.

“Ah! Jesus dude.” You say acting mad.

“Sorry toots.” He says and quickly puts you down and releases you gently. He looks down at you inspecting your face.

His gaze felt heavy and intimidating. He seemed more confident this time, less nervous. He was smiling so wide his eyes disappeared behind his lashes. Still standing so close that you could smell his cologne again and it made you shiver. His hair was ruffled and messy under his hat from travel. He looks so kissable. You pushed these feelings down, and out. You felt silly for even feeling this way about schlatt, it was supposed to be for show.

“What were you doing?” You say trying to distract him from your blushing under his gaze.

He looks back at the door sighing his smile harshly falling, “fucking- I fucking locked myself out of my room.”

“How did you do that?” You burst out laughing.

“Fuck off, ok? I was trying to get my bags moved in here and Ted’s room is down the other end of the hall and I just-“ he sighs and puts his head in his hand.

“Come on I’ll go with you to the lobby, Big Guy,” you chuckle and hold out your hand playfully.

He grabs it reluctantly and follows you to the elevator. His hand is so much bigger than yours. It’s warm and soft where yours is cold. He swings his arm with yours as you walk down the hall playfully. He drops it as you approach the elevator making your heart sink a little. Pressing the button and getting in with you. He stands next to you, looking down at you as his frame towers yours. You guys catch up and he tells you about how awful his flight was and how much he hates LA making you laugh.

You’re able to get him a new card from the front desk no problem, and head back up. He heads towards his room and you tell him you’re going to say hi to Ted. He nods and watches you walk down the other end of the hall towards his room. You can feel his eyes staring into you as you walk. Finding Ted’s room you knock super hard and keep knocking until Tucker opens the door.

“Hey! Y/N!!!” Tucker exclaims and hugs you.

“Holy shit, Tucker I haven’t seen you in a minute man how are you!!” You genuinely can’t hold how excited you are to see Tucker. He’s been busy with school and having a wife that you haven’t seen him much. Now that he’s doing streaming and content creation too you hope that will change.

“So you were a victim of Theodore’s pyramid scheme too huh?” I say.

“He makes compelling points!” Tucker says laughing.

“It’s not a scheme! Look how well it’s working for you, missy.” Ted says coming out of the bathroom.

You roll your eyes at him and hug him anyway. He gives you a bear hug that could crack your ribs. You just saw Ted at a creator event last week but he’s happy his friends are all together. It’s truly one of Ted’s favorite things when he can have all his buddies together at once.

“Schlatt’s down in his room,” Tucker says.

“Yeah I caught him already.”

“Oh?” Ted inquires

“Yeah he locked himself out,” you smirk. You explain the situation and series of events minus how soft his hands are and how his cologne makes you want to bury your face in his chest.

They laugh at the story and get to catching up but you can’t stop thinking about the way he looked at you. As you listen to Ted and Tucker bicker about some small detail of a story, there’s a knock.

“Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!” You hear Schlatt say with a deep gravelly voice.

“Not by the hair on my ass!” Ted says back.

“That’s not how it goes,” says tucker chiding Ted.

You just laugh as Tucker lets Schlatt in. The shenanigans ensue and soon you’re all making plans to go to this steak place Schlatt never shuts up about when he’s in LA.

At the restaurant Schlatt complains more about mundane shit and argues with Ted. You guys order food and while you’re sipping a rum and Coke you tune out of the conversation. You sudden realize how hungry you are, smelling the food waft through the room. You tap your foot and look around the restaurant until you glance at Schlatt who has stopped fighting and is looking at you. His gaze is soft as he looks at you. Ted and Tucker are arguing now about something as Schlatt stares at you.

“What?” You say combatively, putting up a fist and pretending to go to hit him.

He pretends to flinch and cower making you laugh. He drops that act fast and smiles going back to his drink. You can’t help but hang on to his every move, suave and smooth, unless he was trying to be goofy. Even then, it was like he had to try to be awkward. You tried to make sure your gaze didn’t linger too long on him. Distracting yourself with everything, anything.

God I’m hungry.

Schlatt insists on paying your bill when you nearly have a heart attack looking at the menu. You tell him it’s fine, but he insists because it was his idea to choose a place this fancy. you had to give schlatt credit though this place was amazing. The food was to die for. You thought you were gonna cum from the first bite. Maybe he wasn’t being over dramatic in his love for this place.

Ted suggests going out to a karaoke bar when dinner wraps up. Tucker and Schlatt protest because neither wants to sing. You love karaoke though so you side with Ted. You decide to make a conscious effort not to take it too seriously or go too hard since you have to sing tomorrow. You didn’t take karaoke very seriously anyway because it was supposed to be fun and you always used it to try to make your friends laugh. You guys pay the bills and head out.

Walking down the block the guys all goof around as you follow. You’re glad you didn’t wear heels, because keeping up with these guys was a challenge. Their strides are much longer and faster than yours while you lag behind. You’d all had a couple drinks already and the jokes were flowing. The night air was warm and the cars were rushing by, you tuned out the boys and pulled out your phone to see Max had texted you about tomorrow. Suddenly Schlatt stops and waits for you to catch up, standing right in front of you, “Trust fall!” He shouts and then starts to fall into your arms. You instinctively grab him, but he stops himself, laughing.

“Nuh uh, do it again motherfucker you didn’t even fall!” You yell.

He looks at you seriously, “Y/n, I’m 250 pounds and 6’5”. You can’t catch me,” he scoffs scowling at you.

“Try me bitch!” You put your arms out this time. He looks at you.

“Ok but if you don’t catch me we’re not friends anymore. it’s not my fault when I bludgeon you to death with my body,” then he turns around and crosses his arms over his chest. Now Ted and Tucker are stopped and watching.

“Do it pussy,” you spat, then he does and as he does he yelps with a girly scream, but you catch him and prop him back up. Ted and Tucker golf clap. Schlatt turns around and looks at you.

“Jesus what steroids are you on?” He laughs now uncontrollably, “you have fucking man strength.”

“Bruh, I’m a dancer? I lift weights?” You roll up your sleeve and flex. Schlatt genuinely looks impressed as he laughs.

“Yeah dude, Y/N’s a sleeper build!” Tucker shouts.

Schlatt grabs your arm and squeals like a girl again “my HERO!” You smack him away and he pretends to be hurt still using his high pitch voice. You can’t help but laugh at him as you continue walking.

——

When you get to the karaoke bar you guys get more drinks and get a room. Ted starts cueing up songs telling you that he wants to do a duet with you but half a dozen duets with Ted later ranging from Barbie girl (he was Barbie obviously) to shallow from “a star is born” you feel yourself getting too drunk too fast. So you take a break and give the microphone to schlatt.

“I’m not singing,” he says indignantly.

Ted whips around to him, “schlatt come on.” Schlatt shakes his head and they start arguing back and forth.

“I can sing My Way better anyway,” Ted says finally.

“Oh ho no you can’t,” Schlatt says dismissively. This leads to ted singing My Way and Schlatt yelling and booing the whole time as you laugh your ass off with Tucker.

“Fine give me that shit,” Schlatt starts going through the menu looking for a song. You can’t see what he’s looking for then suddenly “Creep” starts playing and you groan loudly.

“FUCK OFF DUDE.” You Yell at schlatt over the music. He starts singing it all dramatically. You plug your ears and ignore him but he sits in your lap and continues to sing until you have to join in to get him off of you.

Ted makes Tucker sing with him a couple times and does a couple solos while you cheer and add ad libs. you’re all so drunk and laughing your asses off.

——

After you almost get kicked out of the karaoke bar, you all go back to Ted and Tucker’s hotel room and watch videos on the TV, many a wrestling match between Ted and Tucker later, around 2 am when you decide to call it quits. “Alright I have to go to bed, it's a long day tomorrow,” you say, standing and grabbing your purse.

“Booo party pooper,” says a very inebriated Tucker.

“You want me to walk you to your room?” Ted says.

“I’m a big kid Theodore, I can walk-“ you say stumbling to your feet. Ted rolls his eyes and follows you to the door. You honestly wouldn’t mind having a second alone with Ted.

As you walk toward the door schlatt calls after you, “Good night ookie wookie pookie bear!”

You flip him off without looking and walk out. As soon as the door closes Ted makes a look towards you, lifting his eyebrows.

“What’s wrong with your face?” You ask.

“Oh nothing, you guys are just cute.” He says cheekily.

“God you're worse than the stans,” You whine.

He laughs in response “yeah except there’s no cameras here that was just pure flirting.”

“That was very clearly a joke, Ted.”

“Dude come on you two were staring at each other all night.”

“Look, I don’t want to ruin this friendship with Schlatt so drop it. It’s a joke, you know? He’s joking around and so am I! It’s a bit..” you say not very convincingly.

“Alright… but it would be cool you know! Two of my best friends-“

“Fuck off.”

“Ok.”

It’s true, you don’t want to lose what you already have, especially not for a foolish crush. Plus it’s terrifying being that open to someone. There’s something about what you and schlatt have now that is like dating someone without the vulnerability and just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for them to decide you’re not the love of their life and leave taking a piece of you with them… or something like that.

———

The next morning your head is already spinning. You run down and grab some breakfast and coffee since you know you won’t be eating until much later, you avoid taking anything because you know you’ll be drinking later anyway so you just pray the caffeine and water will do its job. As you get ready in your room you begin your ritual to prepare your voice and get the shower ready. You take a shower, do your makeup and slowly warm up your voice. You make your tea for your throat and do some stretching too to calm the nerves. You’ve given yourself enough time until the ceremony to take your time finishing your hair and getting dressed. For the ceremony you have a pretty boring dark blue long sleeve dress knee length dress. For the the reception however, you have a burgundy red mermaid spaghetti strap dress to put on to perform in. It’s shiny with a deep V neckline and an open back. It’s fancy. And you have to admit it makes you feel sexy. You wear the same black heels with both. For the ceremony an updo then you’ll take your hair down when you perform.

As the ceremony approaches you double check that you have things ready for the reception and make your way down to the lobby. As you ride the elevator you text Schlatt.

I’m heading down, you guys ready?

He responds immediately

Yeah we’re headed down too.

You’re only in the lobby for a minute or two before the elevator dings and the guys arrive including Charlie and Connor, all dressed to the nines.

Schlatt in a suit. I mean come on. you can’t say you haven’t thought about it since you found out he was coming to the wedding. He cleans up really well. He looks so proper. He’s chatting with Connor when he sees you and you have to hide the breath hitching in your throat.

You can feel your cheeks glowing already.

“Nice monkey suit. You clean up alright,” You joke. “Who knew there was a handsome man under there?” You say adjusting his tie when he approaches.

He swats your hand away then suddenly grabs it and kisses it, “you don’t look so bad yourself, toots.” He winks at you.

Holy fuck. My knees are fucking jelly.

He immediately chuckles at your reaction. Cheeks burning up you roll your eyes and turn away.

On the grounds of the hotel, there’s a beautiful garden with a pavilion setup with chairs. You mingle and find other streamer friends you haven’t seen in a while or haven’t met yet. You recognize quite a few faces. You see Tyler (handsumfella) who you have had playful banter with on the SDMP and have streamed with occasionally. You haven’t met him in person yet however. You break off the little group forming to go say hey.

“Tyler, hey!” You say.

“Holy shit, Y/N! You look incredible. God damn, girl!” He says gassing you up, as you hug him. You blush and wave your hand to shoo his compliments.

“Says you! Look at you! now I see where you get your username.” you weren’t lying. Tyler was wearing a gorgeous suit and god damn was he even sexier IRL. Now here’s a guy you could really crush on. You guys flirt back and forth when Schlatt walks up.

“Hey! Tyler! What's good man?” He shakes his hand and Tyler pulls him in for a hug.

“Schlatt! Holy shit dude!” He grabs schlatt’s shoulder, “man everyone looks so good! I was just telling Y/N how sexy she looks.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna take her back to my room tonight,” Schlatt interrupts Tyler. He grabs your waist to pull you close to him, catching you off guard.

Tyler laughs at schlatts words and your shocked reaction and you join. Schlatt has a serious, borderline scary, expression, not moving his hand from your hip. You put your hand on schlatt’s chest to motion that the bit is over now, and he lets you go. Tyler goes on to chat with you and joins the little group forming on the lawn.

The ceremony goes swiftly, smoothly, and rather quickly. You sit with Schlatt, Ted, Tucker, Connor, Charlie, and your duet partner, Max. You’re not huge on the whole lovey dovey stuff so you’re glad this is a short ceremony. As soon as the ceremony ends you grab max and make a game plan to get ready and meet up to set up for the first dance.

As You break off from the group you tell Schlatt you’re going to get ready. You become focused on the task at hand. You slip into the silky red dress, and take down your hair, which you style and spray. You freshen up your makeup adding a red lip. As you inspect in the mirror you feel confidence rising in you. It’s rather revealing and you’re not really used to it, but dammit you look hot. Then you text Max and run down to meet the wedding planner. You check the instruments and microphones quickly before the guests come in. As guests arrive for cocktail hour you grab a glass of wine and stand by the bar.

Schlatt comes in and this time he’s the one blushing as he sees what you’ve changed into. He makes a beeline for you and you try not to watch him stalk over. He comes up next to you.

“Wow,” he says plainly. As introverted as Schlatt was, it was rare for him to be lost for words.

“Yeah yeah get it over with,” you say.

“Get what over with?”

“Your snarky comment about how I look like man in dress or whatever,” you say rolling your eyes and drinking your wine.

He looks genuinely confused, “Y/N. You look stunning.” He says seriously.

His reaction catches you completely off guard, no jokingly flirty remark or snide comment. It was just a genuine compliment. And the way his face was so real made you squirm. It’s a look you weren’t used to seeing on schlatt often. You could feel your heart racing in your chest as you continued to study you.

Before you can respond, the newlyweds are announced and given drinks you know you have about 15 minutes until the first dance. You have to excuse yourself from Schlatt after he just made your heart fall out of your ass. As you walk away you can feel his eyes burning holes into the back of you.

Nerves start to build as you focus on getting into your performance mindset. You are suddenly very aware of the skin you’re showing and how your head is still thumping, and the fact that over 50 of your closest colleagues (basically) are all here to listen to you. You suddenly think about how schlatt is out there now and he’s going to hear you and see you perform. You take deep breaths, being deafened by your pulse.

As the first dance is announced you take your spot with Max towards the dance floor discreetly. You go to sit at the grand piano and Max starts playing the guitar. As the couple starts to dance Max starts to sing “Die with a Smile” the spotlights shine on you two and the room erupts into applause as Max sings the first verse, the bride doesn’t realize you two are there at first but when she does it’s priceless. You focus on harmonizing with max and playing the piano. Soon the nerves melt away as you’re swept into the emotion of the song and of the day. You can’t help but glance around the room a bit. When your verse begins you notice Schlatt staring solely at you. You do your best to ignore it as you put your heart and soul into playing and singing and feeling every word and note.

If the world was ending I’d wanna be next to you, if the party was over and our time on earth was through, I’d wanna hold you just for a while, and die with a smile

You guys finish and the crowd erupts in cheers you stand from behind the piano and motion to the couple and clap, then to Max, then max motions to you and you bow. You play and sing for the mother son and daughter father dances as well with Max, afterwards more applause and tears. You can’t help but feel emotional about it all. something about this wedding was getting to you. You started to feel an appreciation for the whole ordeal. Once things quiet down you move to find your way out to run and freshen up before dinner.

You make your way through the crowd as people compliment you and praise you for your work. You whisper polite thank yous and excuse yourself through the crowd and out to the lobby. You and max stand in the lobby alone and you hug each other.

“Hey that was great, I think we really killed it,” he says.

“Yeah I think so too!” You respond finally breathing for the first time today. You guys grab each others hands and share a giddy moments

“Bitch, your voice is unreal,” max dotes.

“God the way you hit those notes in the beginning.”

You guys talk about the performance and exchange notes as you walk to your rooms. Max was a singer you met through streaming and you did some collaborations with him. Your voices just melded together so well. Over the years you guys had made a great friendship and working bond.

“Hey so what’s up with you and JSchlatt? Are you guys a thing?” He inquires raising a hopeful brow.

“You’re such a gossip whore.” You respond.

“God he looks so good in a suit,” he says, rolling his eyes at you.

“Yeah he looks fine.”

“If by fine you mean, drop dead,” he says flipping his hair. “You better get up in that otherwise I will.” He finally says opening his room and going in.

You scoff and open your door.

You quickly freshen up your makeup and hair and puff on your weed pen before stuffing it in your handbag and heading back to the party with Max. He jokingly sticks out his arm for you two to walk arm in arm like high school girls back into the ballroom.

When you get back you see dinner is already in motion, you find your table with Ted and the rest and sit down in your spot between Max and Tucker. You say hey to everyone as they compliment you both. By the time you guys get there dinner was pretty much over so you eat a little of whatever is left since you haven’t eaten much today. You quickly clock the open bar again and move to get a drink. Schlatt gets up when he sees your plan. As you weave through the tables Schlatt follows you. When you arrive at the bar you steal another look at him.

“You sounded amazing,” he says shyly.

“Thank you! I’m happy with how that went. I think the bride was pretty surprised,” you respond, giving a chuckle. You try not to stare at him for too long. There’s a small not entirely uncomfortable silence as you wait for your drinks.

“Ready to get fucked up?” He questions as he grabs a shot and his drink.

“Oh absolutely. Open bar for a bunch of content creators? Huge mistake.” You hold your shot out to cheers him, he does chuckling and you both shoot back a shot and head back to the table drink in hand.

After dinner they cut the cake and the dancing begins. Pretty standard party bangers. You get in with the crowd of other girl content creators you’re friends with and you’re all dancing on the floor like fools soon enough. You love dancing, seriously and just for fun. You don’t get to dance for fun often, but right now it’s all fun. You’re grinding on each other and doing the goofiest dance moves. Most of the guys are hanging out together and chatting. occasionally, some of them coming out to dance, namely Ted. Tyler too though. They both dance like fools. Soon you’re all screaming “FROM THE WINDOOOOOW TO THE WALL!” And you can feel the intoxication taking over quickly. You pretend to dance up on Ted and he throws it back at you. You’re laughing and shouting lyrics you can feel yourself losing your voice. After an hour or so of this You start to feel the spins and decide to go sit and nurse a water for a bit. Tyler comes over to sit next to you at a table.

“Hey you killed it tonight!” He compliments.

“Thank you! I appreciate that.” You smile back

“Of course dude.” He nurses a water too while you guys talk. “Where’s your date?” He asks after a while.

“Max? Probably flirting with a straight guy somewhere-“

“No! Schlatt!” He cuts you off.

“Schla- he’s not my- we’re just-“

“Oh shit! My bad homie, just earlier when he said that thing I just expected.”

“No you’re good, I mean idk why he said that but no we’re just friends,” you say maybe not hiding your disappointment very well.

“… I don’t think it’s just friends dude,” Tyler says looking over your shoulder.

“What-“ you start

“Pretend I made a hilarious joke, touch my arm, and then glance over there,” he says gesturing to his right.

“What are you-“

“Do it, trust.”

You fake an exaggerated laugh and grab Tyler’s arm leaning closer to him for a second, then you give it a beat then nonchalantly glance over your shoulder and see Schlatt looking over. He’s not hiding his expression at all now. He’s pissed.

“See what I mean,” Tyler says leaning in.

You do see, but you still can’t believe it.

“I don’t know, he just, looks like that. He’s not huge on crowds.” you respond after a minute.

“Well whatever the reason, he better nut up or shut up. Otherwise someone else will,” he says with a wink then gets up and walks away.

You sit there for another minute or two in deep contemplation. Nut up or shut up.

The music changes to a slow song. you recognize the opening of the song. You jump up out of your seat, looking for around the room. You see Schlatt jokingly threatening someone with a pocket knife and rush towards him.

“Dance with me.”

“Wha-“ he starts

“Don’t fight me, let’s go bitch.” You grab his arm and pull him toward the floor.

“Y/N, I don’t dance. I can’t dance.”

“It’s the song from Click, we have to,” you say chuckling. Couples make their way to the floor and start to embrace while “Linger” by the Cranberries starts to play. At first Schlatt was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. You place his hand on your hip and take his other in your hand and begin to lead. He loosens up when he sees you’re being silly about the whole thing. You do a shitty Adam Sandler impression that makes him cringe. He begins to pretend like you’re middle schoolers at a dance and keeps you as far away as he can as you uncontrollably laugh.

Then why are you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand? Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you? But I’m in so deep

When you stop laughing he pulls you in and dips you in a dramatic fashion making you laugh all over again. When he brings you back up he keeps you held close to him and you get into a rhythm.

“What were you and Tyler talking about?”

You know I’m such fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger, do you have to let it linger?

“He was asking me girl advice,” you respond quickly.

“Oh?”

“Yeah he has a crush on this girl and doesn’t know what to do about it,” you say glancing around the floor.

“What did you tell him to do?”

“I told him to nut up or shut up otherwise someone else might,” I say looking him in directly in the eyes now, almost daring him.

Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger?

As the song ends you guys stop dancing but make no move to separate. A moment feels like a lifetime as you study his face this close. His lips, his nose, his brows semi-furrowed. The way his hair curls on top of his head.

“I need air, do you need air?” He asks. You nod and you guys move towards the door to the garden.

———

Outside is still warm but there’s a slight breeze. The moon is already high in the sky. The nighttime beasts make noises and the party rages on inside. You were starting to feel very overwhelmed inside. As much as you loved these people, you’re not a huge partier.

“God it’s gorgeous out here,” you say. “Are your ears ringing? Mine are ringing,” you laugh taking a deep breath. Schlatt doesn’t respond.

You turn to face him as he stares at you. You stare back at him as he unashamedly drinks you in. You suddenly feel exposed to him. The light out here bathing you and making you feel like you’re in a spotlight again. The outside air is a stark contrast to the stuffy dance floor you came from, it gives you goosebumps. You shiver a little as you shift uncomfortably. He slowly moves to close the distance between you.

“You look incredible,” he starts. “And your voice is so incredible. You look stunning in that dress. I can’t stand you.”

“Wha- You can’t stand me?” You’re genuinely shocked at his words. He spoke with a matter of fact tone. His eyes shifting wildly to every inch of your face.

“I can’t stand watching you like that all day. The way you effortlessly charm people. Unashamed, effortless, charismatic. You’re just. Astonishing,” he finishes and before you can respond he puts his hands on either side of your face and kisses you deeply on the lips.

You melt in his embrace. What is in reality only seconds feels like the culmination of years of tension being snapped. Years of uncertainty and personal turmoil all washed away. He splits from the kiss and looks at your face, a mixture of shock and pure elation spreading across it. You pull him back for a second deeper kiss. Needier and heavier this time. You hunger, suddenly starving. No amount of contact right now could be enough. You put your arms around his neck running a hand through his hair as he moves his arms around your torso pulling you closer. As His hands slide up your bare back you let out a soft moan from his warm touch. He stiffens at the sound.

After a minute or two you pull away for air looking at him, “About time,” you breathe out, smirking.

“Shut up,” he says, kissing you again.

After another eternity of learning and exploring each other you separate, remaining in each other’s arms. Just smiling at each other like idiots. You put your hand on his cheeks feeling his facial hair. You run your thumb across his bottom lip and shiver. You can’t help but just touch him. After all this time and yearning to be this close you couldn’t contain it anymore.

“You wanna get out of here?” He asks breathlessly.

“Absolutely.”

———-

#schlatt x reader #schlatt #jschaltt #jschlatt fanfic

87 notes · View notes

wings-of-ink · 4 months ago

Note

zahn spinnet about cook mc making a whole shepherds pie just for them

they really need to put some meat on those bones

Oh that would be so sweet. Also, super weird you mentioned shepherds pie specifically...that is exactly what I've made for dinner tonight! You watchin' me, Anon?

So, Zahn has an optional romantic scene in the chapter that I'm writing now. I'm not too far away from doing that scene currently, so I think I'll post a teaser from that. We'll work on getting Zahn fed well in the next couple chapters. ^_^

So, until then...

The smell around you is divine. You've patiently waited for your newest creation to finish baking over the fire. Zahn is to meet you at home soon, and little do they know about the feast you have prepared.

Carefully, you use your hand, wrapped in a towel, to turn the trammel hook so you can retrieve the kettle. Prying the hot lid off you are suddenly enveloped more in the wonderful smells. It looks perfect. The mash you've placed atop the meat, gravy and vegetables has a lovely and lightly-toasted crust. The thick filling underneath bubbling through, creating extra tasty pockets of goodness.

As you let the pot cool, the brisk chill of early winter speeding things along, you prepare a basket of bread and a bottle of cider. A meal fit for royalty. You set the table, including the kettle and a single large plate just for Zahn. This special meal is only for them. You've already decided to have a simple meal of your own and some bread and cider of course. You cannot wait to see Zahn's big blue eye light up at the feast.

What should you call it, though? You used some mutton supplemented with a bit of goat as your meat...and it is a bit like a pie, just without pastry. Perhaps 'shepherd's pie' - considering a shepherd would have such animals at their disposal...they could eat the part of the flock they do not like. You smirk to yourself.

A knock sounds at the door - one that sounds like some sort of bizarre code before it resolves into frantic little taps.

"Come in!" you call.

Zahn rushes in and quickly closes the door behind them. They're piled with cloaks already, and the cold has barely set in. "Oh, it's so warm in here!"

After shedding all cloaks but their special one, Zahn rushes to hug you. You snuggle them close, tucking their cold nose into the crook of your neck. Once you begin feeling the pecks of little kisses, you know that Zahn is just warm enough. If you don't, you'll both end up missing dinner - again.

"Come sit, dinner is ready." You grab Zahn's hand and tug them to the table.

Zahn gasps. "Oh wow! That looks delicious. I love potatoes!"

"You love all food, and it's not just potatoes. Sit, I'll serve you."

Zahn claps. "Oh I love it when you tell me that," they say, plopping down in their seat.

You scoop out a huge helping of your special pie and carefully set it on the plate, splaying sliced bread along the side before you pour a cup of cider for them.

Zahn's eyes are huge and their hand is covering their mouth. "Oh, I'm drooling...but what about you?"

"I made this all for you. I told you that I'm going to make sure you get all the food you could ever want from now on. You're never going hungry ever again." You smile.

"All for me?"

You nod. "I'll start with bread and cider, but I'll just have some-"

"Please eat it with me..." Zahn's pink lips are pulled in a frown and you realize those blue eyes you adore so much are watery. "I can't believe you'd do something like this for the likes of me..." The tears finally fall. "I want you more than any feast."

You reach across the table and hold Zahn's hand. "Okay...if that's what you want."

Zahn smiles and wipes their eyes. "Let's eat until we have to roll on the floor to get around!"

As you dig in, Zahn's pleased moans over their food make you smile. They finish one plate quickly and then get another helping. "This is the best thing I've ever eaten. What is it?"

"You said that the last time we made a big dinner, and I call it shepherd's pie."

Zahn looks down at their plate. "...You made this out of a shepherd?"

You stare back unsure if Zahn is joking or not.

"Were they old or something?" Zahn asks, taking a big bite of the meat.

You really hope Zahn was joking...

#god cursed if #asks #gc ro zahn #this ended up a lot longer than intended lol

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beybaldes · 2 years ago

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I never know what to think about (I think about you)

summer sleepover masterlist

jamie tartt x gn!reader

summary : “hugging and absentmindedly kissing their neck, resulting in mortification for one of them” requested by anon

an : someone requested this for ted too so that will be coming soon bc I love love love this prompt :,(( I have never finished a fic faster because I was anxiously speed typing trying to get this written while I waited to join the que for eras tour tickets 😭 update just before I post: I got eras tour tickets!!!!

You were dancing around Jamie’s kitchen while you cooked breakfast, jumping about to whatever song had come on the radio while you scrambled eggs and flipped over pieces of bacon.

It wasn’t the first time you’d found yourself in the footballers kitchen in the early hours of the day, last nights clothes still on and reeking of alcohol, and you highly doubted it would be the last. Jamie had a bad habit of encouraging the party - for whatever occasion and wherever it had started - to end up back at his place. But when it’d happened last night, you’d found yourself sneaking off to his guest room and crashing out there.

You knew Jamie wouldn’t mind, he never did, but you felt like making breakfast was the least you could do as a thank you for letting you stay, an apology for inevitability scaring him when he woke up to find you still in his house, and another apology for stealing one of his hoodies to combat the cold.

If you hadn’t been so caught up in making breakfast and dancing your way between cupboards, you might have noticed Jamie leaning against the doorway, arms folded across his chest.

To Jamie, you were completely irresistible. There was no doubt about it. Every minute of everyday he found himself thinking about you; about the curve of your smile, and the blush that would fill your cheeks whenever you were close to him, about the way you wore his jersey to every match and how you’d made yourself fully at home in his life, in his house. The domesticity of the scene before him was breaking his heart. You. In his jumper. Making him breakfast. He almost couldn’t believe it.

Almost.

Jamie knew that’s just the kind of person you were; caring almost to a fault and more considerate of others then yourself. He was half waiting for you to spew out some apology for using his food to cook him breakfast.

When it never came, and it became clear you had yet to notice his presence in the room, he crossed the length of the kitchen, snaking his arms around your waist and laughing when you jumped back against him in surprise.

“Making breakfast for me, are you?” Jamie’s rested his chin In the crook of your neck, staring over your shoulder at the food you’d made him. The fact you’d remembered even the little things - like he only ate eggs scrambled, or that he liked his bacon extra crispy - made his heart absolutely melt. “You must love me.”

If only Jamie knew how right he was.

His arms stayed around your waist as you finished plating up the food. You’d grown used to the constant contact when you were around Jamie. While at first he’d presented himself as cold and standoffish, once you’d gotten your foot in the door of his heart, he pulled you in, locked the door behind you, and threw away the key. Everytime he was near you, you expected an arm around you; over your shoulders or around your waist, in the privacy of his living room or in the changing rooms, he was always holding onto you like a lifeline.

When you quietly announced that breakfast was finished, Jamie picked up his plate from the counter, pressing a quick succession of three kisses to the conjunction of your shoulder and your necks. Kissing you? Now that was new.

As Jamie made his way to his dining room table, you stood frozen against his counter top, hands gripping the edge of the counter so tight that your knuckles were turning white. How had he done that so casually and walked away like it was nothing? Jamie hadn’t seen anyone in a while so you knew it wasn’t out of habit and it was never something you’d done before so it wasn’t that either. Despite the kisses cause, you were scared shitless that Jamie had seen your reaction to it, knew you were in love with him, and now wanted nothing to do with you.

“You alright love?” Jamie called from behind you. You could hear his fork being placed back against the table and the scrape of his chair against the wooden floors. Jamie clearly loved you; and in whatever way that was, it was enough.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” As you went to take your own seat at the table, you passed him, running your fingers through his hair then taking the seat next to him. “Eat up, or your food will get cold j.”

“You got it, love.”

You promised yourself that you could thin about what it meant later, when you weren’t on his clothes and in his house. But until then, you ate breakfast with Jamie, both discussing the events of the previous night and ignoring the events of the morning.

#beybaldes summer sleepover !!#jamie tartt oneshot #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x reader #ted lasso x reader

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underdark-dreams · 1 year ago

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I'm finishing up a Rolan proposal fic for a very patient anon & ended up with this little scene between Rolan and Dammon that I don't think I'll use. Thought I'd post it here as a drabble! 💗

Rings

Rolan commissions a very particular piece for his beloved from the infernal blacksmith. [541 words]

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“Are you sure it’s the right size?”

Rolan turned the smooth metal over in his hand, trying to compare it against his own fingers for reference. The material gleamed luminous and silver-blue even under the shade of Dammon’s open workshop.

“It’ll fit,” Dammon told him with surety. He wiped a hand on his apron and watched with no little pride as Rolan examined his past weeks’ handiwork. “I forged a few pairs of gauntlets for them back in the day. I’d like to think I know a thing or two about Tav’s hands. Professionally,” he hastened to add, perhaps noting the way Rolan’s brow twitched.

“Maybe so, but—”

“I know, I know. Tav deserves perfection.” Dammon gave his placid smile.

“Yes.” A bit chagrined by the obvious strength of his feelings, Rolan made no other response. As he turned the band over again, his eyes caught very fine lettering engraved around the inner surface. He peered closer—the marks were Infernal.

“Ah.” Dammon shifted nervously on his feet. “I hope you don’t mind the addition. It just—came to me.”

“‘Strength in Unity’,” Rolan translated under his breath. He glanced up at Dammon. “The watchwords of Elturel?”

Dammon rubbed the back of his neck in a characteristic gesture, but a shadow passed over his face. “You know, in terms of cities and their mottos…that one always rang a bit hollow to my ear. After everything.” He exchanged a long glance with Rolan. “If anyone deserves to reclaim the words, I thought it ought to be the two of you.”

Rolan stared back down at the ring on his palm. In a rare moment, he found himself rather lost for words. Then he slipped it carefully into the pouch at his belt and began counting out gold pieces.

The smith raised a hand, but Rolan cut him off before he could start. “Dammon, whatever the hells you’re about to say, keep it to yourself. This is fine work, and I’ll be damned if you don’t take the other half of the fee.”

“Couldn’t you consider it a wedding gift? For the two people responsible for getting me to Baldur’s Gate in one piece. Or even,” Dammon proposed hastily, “a reward for letting me work with such rare material.”

“Then keep what’s left over,” Rolan told him. He tucked his coin away as the idea for a compromise sprang to mind. “Make something incredible from it.”

“That—” Dammon’s eyes grew wide for a moment. “That’s quite generous. Do I even want to know how you found such a pure chunk of mithril?”

“We have friends in the Underdark,” Rolan answered tersely. “I may have…funded a small expedition.”

Dammon only gave a low whistle. If anyone could grasp the cost of such an undertaking, it was a blacksmith. Then he extended a calloused hand, and Rolan clasped it in a wordless agreement.

Finding the matter resolved, Rolan turned toward the front gate of the forge. The gleaming ring stored at his belt had introduced a very distracting flurry of butterflies into his stomach.

“Hold on there—” Dammon stooped to fetch something from underneath his work bench. As he straightened, a small hide bag sailed through the air into Rolan’s surprised grasp.

“You’ll be needing the other one.”

#bg3 drabble #rolan bg3 #dammon bg3 #rolan x tav #underdark-dreams #pls i love both these men #bg3 rolan #bg3 dammon

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blue-jisungs · 1 year ago

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childish honesty

author's note. okay phew this has been rotting in my drafts since JULY??? the main reason of not posting was literally no idea for the title bye. anyways i hope you enjoy, esp you @l3visbby since this is the chan work i’ve been talking about 💀

big shout out to my beloved @planetkiimchi for proofreading, ilysm and thank you so so much <3 i really appreciate it 🥹

summary. there’s a cute guy who’s literally perfect. everything starts to work out when your little secret comes out // or in which you always adored children’s honesty but fail to do the same

summary. 7894

warnings. swearing, alcohol consumption + one scene in a club but nothing too wild, mention of cheating. a bit angsty :) chan is a bit of an ass but then again, he kind of has a reason….. + some cameos <3

biting the inside of your cheek deep in thought, your friend – jeongyeon – noticed you’re drifting away. tapping the back of your hand gently, warm smile on her lips. your other friend, jihyo, scoffed.

“and you’re gone again… don’t tell me he’s on your mind” she sighed dramatically. a blush crept on your face since you were caught.

“girl, you were supposed to relax! clear your head! go wild!” jeongyeon grunted and broke into a mischievous giggle “well, the last one is for later”

“we know you love him but please, stop thinking about him. for once…” jihyo pouted “i’ll get jealous!”

“okay, you know i love you both” you smiled, grabbing their hands “i’m sorry. you know how it is”

“well… we don’t. but we understand, we know what you’ve been through. that’s why you need a break” jeongyeon said and jihyo nodded in agreement “aaaand we need to find you a new man”

“huh?” you blinked, reaching for your coffee cup.

“oh come on, don’t act like you don’t understand” jihyo winked and you almost choked on the hot beverage. the action made your friends laugh “what?! that’s not what i meant…” you grunted but your reaction spoke for yourself.

“now that i think about it… jihyo, do you remember chan? from our company? he’s in another department but he’s the manager, you should know him” jeongyeon hummed, tapping her fingers against her coffee cup. you stole a glance at your phone. no one texted you.

“of course i do! i love chan, he’s so cute and good in what he does… wait” the corners of jihyo’s lips curled into a mischievous smile “oh…”

“oh indeed” jeongyeon smirked, both of them slowly looking at you.

“what?” you asked and your attention was quickly dismissed when your phone buzzed. the girls in front of you exchanged sly looks with each other and nodded in agreement.

“okay! let’s go to my place and change up, hm? it’s friday night, i already thought of a party plan” jihyo smacked the table energetically and stood up from the seat, going over to pay for the coffee.

“where does she get this energy from…” you murmured as you texted back. jeongyeon smiled and stood up too, waiting for you.

“yeah… no…” you grunted, swirling the drink in your hand. squeezing your phone between your cheek and your arm, you looked for your lipgloss hidden somewhere in the bag.

you wanted to finish talking before your friends come back with even more drinks. it was hard to hear jooyeon’s rambles due to the loud music booming in the club.

“‘m sorry, can you speak a bit louder?” you asked and managed to find your lipgloss “or just…”

“y/n!” you heard jihyo’s shouts

“sorry, baby, i need to go!” you said

“but…” jooyeon whined and you sighed apologetically.

“i’ll call you in the morning, okay?” you hummed and were met with a soft, sad hmpf. quickly hanging up, you pretended to use your phone as a mirror while holding the lipgloss.

“we’re back, ta-dam!” jeongyeon put the drinks on the table and shot you a suspicious glance “do you even see anything?”

“no… not really” you giggled and put your phone down, gulping down your previous drink “i’ll be right back!”

entering the bathroom you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach. you really shouldn’t have hung up so early. what if it was important? what if he needed help… what if he needed you?

quickly fixing your lipgloss, you shook your head. you shouldn’t think about it so much. the girls went out with you to have fun so just for a night you could forget about him, right?

after hiding the lipgloss in your mini bag; zipping it so the small electric guitar keychain dingled gently, you left the bathroom.

right away you felt your legs tripping or just the impact of someone bumping into you, you weren’t sure. before you could fall, a surprised yelp reached your ears and two hands held you sturdily by your waist.

“i’m sorry, i should have watched where i was going” a male voice rung in your ears, causing you to squirm away from his hold. he let go, shaking his head “sorry”

“that’s okay, it was my fault too” you nodded and looked at his face. the red neon lights in the club didn’t help you in analysing his features but from what you saw now, he was handsome. his mouth opened and you could sense he’d apologise again but suddenly jihyo’s favourite song came on.

you just nodded for the second time and turned around, the man’s gaze following you – unbeknownst to you.

quickly joining your friends you went to the dance floor, finally starting to relax and temporarily forget about your worries.

arriving at your place, head pumping like crazy, you slowly opened the front door. it was around 10am, saturday morning. quietly entering the kitchen and painfully slowly opening the upper cabinet so it doesn’t creak—

“mom is back!”

you sighed. mission failed.

turning around with a smile you were met with jooyeon’s body launching at you.

“easy there” you giggled and last minute kneeled down, so he could hug you properly. his small hands wrapped around your neck, lips smooching your cheek “missed me that much?”

“duh! it’s boring without you!” jooyeon grinned cheekily and leaned away. then you registered someone leaning over the kitchen counter.

“jooyeonnie, could you maybe pick up the toys in the living room? quick, so mom won’t see the mess” the feminine voice was gentle and soft, as always.

“oh shoot, the toys!” jooyeon yelled out, causing you to scrunch your face. as he ran out of the room, you stood up and sent yuna a warm smile.

“thank you…” you sighed, grabbing a glass of water

“i can see the party was nice” she giggled, observing you “do you need me to stay longer? it’s not…”

“no, absolutely not. i already asked you for too much… but thank you so much” you shook your head as a no, putting the mini bag on the countertop.

yuna was jooyeon’s babysitter. she was a first year university student so the deal was great for three of you: jooyeon loved her (and vice versa), she got to earn some money and you had the opportunity to spend your time with friends or stay overtime without any stress. but hey! it was friday, today it’s saturday and yuna, such a young and lovely girl, definitely shouldn’t miss out on her free time on you two. plus your hangover.

“i’ve got this” you nodded and handed her the cash. she looked at you worried, then stealing a glance at jooyeon who already got distracted with something else.

“if you need anything please let me know…” yuna smiled politely.

“i need you to rest now” you chuckled and patted her arm “i’ve got this, really. have a nice day, yuna. jooyeon, say bye to aunt yuna!”

“bye bye!” he yelled out and ran up to her, grinning and reaching his hand out. they did a high five and yuna left, a sweet smile on her lips. to think she was one year younger than you when jooyeon— “where were you?” jooyeon crossed his hands and cocked an eyebrow, watching you. finishing your water you started looking for some medicine.

“with auntie jihyo and jeongyeon…” you started slowly, trying to focus and figure out what to say “… having a fun time. girls’ night out, you know?”

“mhm…” he hummed, dark irises glued to you “then why do you smell so… gross?”

you scoffed, the package with painkillers dropping from some hidden spot behind glasses.

“we were dancing and having drinks… and when i left, aunties were still sleeping so i didn’t want to wake them up with the loud shower” you explained, taking the meds “is it that bad?”

“yeah. take a shower, you stink” jooyeon ordered and turned around, happily going back to the living room and whatever he was doing with the play-dooh. kids are so honest, don’t you just love them?

following his orders you showered, fighting your eyelids. oh a nap… nap would be great right now.

leaving the bathroom, already in your comfy clothes, you shuffled slowly to find jooyeon. he was scribbling something in a colouring book.

“i think i’ll take a nap, joo. wanna go with me?” you asked quietly. his eyes lit up and he dropped the crayons, grabbing your hand instead

“of course, let’s go!” he exclaimed, leading you to your bedroom. jooyeon was old enough to sleep in his own bed but if he had the chance to sleep with you… on the biiiig bed… there’s no way he’d miss it for the world.

soon enough you were falling asleep with mr wolfy, jooyeon’s plushie, by your side.. and nugget, his another plushie. and five other plushies. and, above all, with your son snuggled comfortably next to you.

chan typed furiously, engrossed in his task. he didn’t even realise when felix walked into the room.

“hey, chan?”

he looked up, taken aback.

“what’s up?” chan asked, smiling softly. his features softened, looking at felix’s pensive face.

“see, i was talking to jihyo… you know, the other manager…” felix started. chan nodded — obviously he knew her. they meet once a month at the monthly evaluation “do you happen to be willing to go on a blind date?”

chan froze, eyes widening. he let out a nervous laugh, scratching his head.

“what is this about?” he asked, felix breaking into a smile.

“well you’re single, right? and apparently jihyo has a friend… so we just thought…” felix drifted off and took a deep breath “listen, i know i’m in no place to say it. but you’re my friend, we’ve known each other for years. and i feel like you should give it a shot. just once”

“but…” chan started, still not fully realising what’s going on

“don’t worry about it, i’m sure you’ll do well. literally everyone likes you, you know? me and jihyo can set up the date, just let me know if… that’s okay” felix breathed out, smiling softly. chan looked down and shook his head, shrugging.

“okay. just this once and only because you’re so kind about it” he scoffed. felix’s face lit up, eyes sparkling with joy.

“really?” he asked in shock. chan looked back at him and smiled

“really. but while you’re so euphoric, don’t forget to send me those audio files of the songs, okay?” chan dead serious. his friend nodded enthusiastically, leaving the room.

what the hell did he just agree to…?

fidgeting with his fingers chan stared at the people in the café. it was cozy, cutely decorated and full of plants. it’s not like he wasn’t here before, it was his friend’s cafe – seungmin’s. he knew all the staff, he was there to help with the decor and all. hell, he often worked there on his laptop with headphones in, in his own world (even though seungmin hated when he did that, apparently he scared the customers away)

he took a deep sigh and looked over at the counter. seungmin along with his two workers, momo and minho sent him thumbs up. of course, they knew about the date, felix had told them.

the door opened and he looked up, excited and nervous at the same time. his features dropped once he noticed it was an elder lady. letting out a scoff he checked the time. well, he was the one who was a bit earlier. would you be on time? or show up at all? he was thinking about–

“excuse me? are you chan?”

he looked up, blinking slowly. oh wow. you… you looked stunning.

“oh. yeah. yeah, that’s me” he nodded and stood up, reaching his hand out “y/n, i assume? jihyo’s friend?”

“yes” you smiled and shook his hand, sitting down “did you wait long?”

“oh, no… not really” he scratched his neck, glancing at his friends. they all sent him thumbs up “here’s the menu…”

“thank you. oh wow, the choices are…” you giggled nervously, reading all the drink and dessert descriptions. jooyeon would definitely like strawberry boom, whatever that was.

“i know, right?” chan tilted his head and adored your features. when jihyo said you’re pretty, he didn’t give it a much thought. he’d say the same thing about felix or his other friends too. but you… you were really angelic. and your smile was so sweet, he never wanted to see it disappear– “hm?”

“i’ll just go for an americano for now” you said and looked up “what about you?”

“i’ll get the strawberry cake, it’s really good. well, actually my friend owns the cafe so…” chan mumbled “… um, yeah. depends what you like, the lemon muffin is good too!”

“okay, if you recommend it then i’ll take it” you shot him a smile and before you could walk up to the counter, someone arrived at the table. your eyes widened upon seeing momo, a friend of jeongyeon’s. you talked a couple of times, she’s really nice but you didn’t know she worked here. in fact, didn’t she work at some dance studio…?

“hi, can i take your order?” she asked sweetly. chan’s gaze was focused on you. it warmed your heart because, well… momo was gorgeous. and he chose to look at you? a small thing but still…

“yes, i’ll take the strawberry cake and espresso. and for this beautiful lady, americano and lemon muffin” chan said, sending you a boyish smile. momo nodded

“iced or warm?” she asked you, winking.

“iced, please” you hummed and realised you still have your purse hung over your arm. momo walked away and you took the purse off, hanging it on the back of the chair.

“sorry if i’m awkward, i haven’t been on a date in a while” you chuckled and noticed chan’s gazed glued to your purse.

“the keychain” he hummed, pointing at it. you grabbed your purse and showed him the electric guitar keychain that was attached to the zipper “it’s cute”

“thank you. it’s a gift from a family member, i carry it everywhere” you hummed and watched chan’s eyes widen.

“were you perhaps at a party last week?” he asked, giggling when your face turned into shock while nodding “oh! so this is the mystery person i bumped into”

“what?!” you laughed loudly, uncontrollable grin plastered on your face “no way! i didn’t see your face then…”

“well me too but i remembered the guitar chain. i’m kind of a music freak�� well, i do music for passion and work so it just… it just caught my eye” chan hummed, pointing at the item again “do you play?”

“oh, i used to when i was younger. and then boom, adult life, work, uni… i had to sell it to make ends meet. so, sadly, not anymore” you explained and nodded your head slowly. it was true.

however, a fact was that jooyeon gave it to you. well, he bought it somewhere when he was on a trip with his kindergarten. music ran in his veins ever since he was little. you still have those cute videos when he was younger and used pot lids as drum plates–

“–for a living?” chan’s question brought you back to life. momo arrived and placed your orders. letting out a small, amazed gasp you took out your phone to snap a picture. you’d show it later to jooyeon. maybe one day you could visit the café with him.

“i work in corpo. numbers, numbers and numbers. i wanna change my job but eh… is it worth the risk?” you answer and your life flashes in front of your eyes when your wallpaper appears on your phone.

obviously, it’s your son but you hoped chan didn’t see it. so you try to act like nothing happened: “this muffin is so cute i need to take a picture”

“honestly, understandable. if it wasn’t my millionth time here, i’d snap pics too” he hummed and realised that ever since you exchanged greetings, he would not stop smiling.

“done! ah, yours looks appetising too” you nod, the big strawberry on his cake as red as the guitar on your keychain.

as you two dive into the desserts, you continue your conversation. you’re surprised to come to a conclusion that after such a long time of not having dates, you weren’t stressed. and… you’re having fun?

jooyeon was doodling something next to you with his tongue stuck out while you were in the phone with jihyo and jeongyeon.

“so?! how was it?!” the former practically yelled, causing your son to look up curiously. he twirled his small pointer finger next to his temple and muttered “she’s crazy”, causing you to scoff and pat his head.

“weeell… it was nice. chan himself is veery handsome but also, so kind? it is a little suspicious now that i think about it” you hummed, subconsciously smiling at your son

“noo, please! we’ve known him for a while and trust me, this man doesn’t have a single bad bone in his body. a green flag, if you will” jengyeon whined “tell us more though!”

“well, we talked… had a nice dessert… and talked more. oh and also, we were at the café momo works at!” you said and stood up, going somewhere distant so jooyeon wouldn’t hear your next words

“we know, we did this on purpose so she could tell us the truth in case you ran away or something…” jihyo laughed, causing you to scoff “and girl! she told us you two just wouldn’t shut up! she said she could feel the chemistry from all the way over there”

a blush crept at your cheeks. was is that visible? he’s just… so cute. and smart. and funny. and–

“did you tell him?” jeongyeon cut in, long silence meeting her question. you could hear the heavy sigh she left “y/n–“

“i know but i panicked! it’s like a biggest turn off for a guy, no? like personally, i’d run away” you mumbled looking over at joo engrossed in his task, swinging his feet and humming happily “i’ll tell him next time, i promise”

“you better. WAIT, NEXT TIME?!” jihyo yelled out and all you could hear were squeals and screams. jooyeon jumped off the chair and grabbed the paper sheet he was drawing on

“yes, next time. we’re having a second date next week and he gave me his number” you squealed too, unable to control the excitement. jooyeon grinned and run up to you, handing you the paper with anticipation.

he drew both of you with guitars in your hands. well, you were also holding hands. a lot of hearts and something that looked like a wolf in the corner. there was also a big, crooked but colourful ‘for my beatifull mommy’.

you leaned down and pressed a kiss onto his forehead.

“thank you, my little rockstar. i love you” you hummed, deciding to ignore the typo he made. it’s the gesture that counts.

the next date was a surprise. chan texted you to meet at their company, and because you work close, you agreed. he told you you two would drive for an hour, but he promised it’d be worth the wait.

leaving jooyeon with yuna (who complimented your outfit from head to toe, as if she was the one taking you on said date), you were off.

you arrived at the jyp building, almost pretty sure that jeongyeon and jihyo were watching you somewhere from their offices.

chan was standing there, in his suit and tie loosened a bit with a bouquet of fresh flowers in his hand. you gasped and that caught his attention, turning around.

“oh, you’re here!” he smiled brightly. approaching him, you noticed the flowers were probably a picked set; petals mostly white and in pink shades “this is for you~”

“oh… oh wow. i’m… woah, thank you” you smiled widely, warmth spreading across your body. you couldn’t remember the last time a man gave you flowers (except jooyeon, every year on mother’s day… and literally every time he saw a pretty flower and picked it) “they’re are really beautiful”

“i know, right? i thought about you when i saw them but… you’re prettier” chan smiled cheekily and blood rushed to your cheeks. mumbling a quiet, almost incoherent ‘thank you’ he giggled, pointing at something “my car is parked over there. i didn’t think this through though because there’s no water. hopefully the flowers won’t dry out”

“even if they do, i’ll keep them. dried petals really have their own charm” you hummed, smelling them. you followed chan to his car and he opened the door for you with a charming smile. the vehicle itself was way bigger and more expensive than your own. and way more comfortable. and clean. well, chan probably didn’t have a messy five year old to begin with so maybe that’s why. or maybe he’s just a neat man who likes his environment clean and squeaky? that would be nice but then again, with jooyeon nothing ever is clean.

the drive went fast, way too fast. maybe because there was not a moment of dull conversation with chan and you were truly enjoying yourself. in fact, you didn’t even notice when you arrived at a parking. it was surrounded by tall grass, preventing you to see what’s around.

you left the car, leaving the flowers on your seat and chan joined your side.

“so… how’d you meet jihyo and jeongyeon?” he asked, genuinely curious. you followed him and noticed a beach. letting out a small gasp you took off your shoes, grabbing them in your free hand. chan did the same, leaving your left hand and his right one free.

“well… i had a boyfriend in high school. and one day a girl came up to me and gently explained that she thinks my boyfriend is dating someone else. i was surprised, to say at least and i didn’t even want to believe her. but she was like “girl, you need to believe me! let’s talk to his other girlfriend”… so we did. we realised it makes sense, the girl even showed us pictures she took” you giggled at the memory, suddenly – for a brief moment – feeling how his hand brushes against yours “the girl was jihyo, the other girlfriend was jeongyeon. we decided we want to expose him. in the meantime we asked jihyo why she’s helping us and she told us that he asked her out! can you believe it?”

“what a dickhead” chan grunted, amused smile dancing on his lips. he was listening to you, eyes adoring your face.

“i know, right?” you chuckled and when your hands brushed again, you noticed how the tips of his ears turned pink. cute. “so we exposed him, when he was on a ‘date’ with jihyo. we were sixteen so we just, you know… publicly said this and that. i think jihyo told her friends and the word spread he’s a pathetic liar. but our friendship stayed”

“oh woah. i thought it was just like, clicking after working on a project together but this was way more than i could imagine” he laughed and you joined him.

“yeah, it’s an unusual story. how about you? i’m guessing you met her through work stuff?” you tilted your head.

“mhm, exactly. when i was picked as a manager she congratulated me. then we just started meeting at the monthly meetings for managers and chatted during the breaks” he said and then shook his head “with all due respect, enough about jihyo. i wanna know something about you”

“well, what would you like to know?” you hummed.

while you took a walk, chatting about his career, your passions and his travels, the sun set beautifully at the horizon. once the pastel pinks and oranges morphed into navy sky, stars peeking one by one, you decided to return back to the car.

and that’s when you realised chan lost the shoes he was holding. trying to look for it, which was hard not only due to the darkness but also the uncontrollable laughter you two couldn’t contain, you still chatted. that’s when you found out he’s from australia (“oh woah, i always wanted to go there!”) and that he has a dog, berry. just when you said that you were thinking of getting a dog too (well, more like jooyeon wanted a puppy), chan found his shoes.

they were in the sand, waves moving them around. just as he was about to take them, water came. chan yelped, giggling and backing off. you followed him but then realised the shoes were being taken away by the sea. since you had on a sundress and he was in pants, you decided to walk into the water to grab them.

“no, y/n!” chan called but you were already almost knee deep, taking his shoes. you showed them to him and walked up, scratching your head.

“uhm… i don’t think they’ll be useful anymore” you grunted and before you gave him the shoes, chan took off his blazer. placing it slowly on your arms, he took the wet shoes.

“we’ll see. thank you though, you didn’t have to” he laughed.

only when you entered the car, did you realise how late it had gotten. you texted yuna that you’d be back in an hour and offered for her to sleep at your place. she didn’t read the message, so you assumed she might be already asleep.

chan was so kind as to drop you off right at your doorstep. stepping out of the car, he walked you to the door with a shy smile. the flowers in your hand dried a bit but maybe, hopefully, you’d be able to save them.

“thank you for today” you said with a soft smile, slowly walking up to the door “i had a really fun time”

“me too. seriously, i enjoy spending time with you” chan hummed, his hands behind his back. you had a feeling he wanted to say something else

“the beach was really pretty as well. and thank you for the flowers, i’ll try to bring them back to life” a chuckle left your lips and he grinned “if… uhm…”

“we can do this again sometime” he caught on and smiled boyishly “i’m open to suggestions what fo you want to do next time”

“well, i’ll think about it. and… good night, chan. drive safe and sleep well” you said slowly and took a deep breath before quickly pecking his cheek. chan’s ears turned red as you put in the code to the staircase.

“g-good night, y/n!” he stuttered quickly as you walked in. sending him a warm smile before you went to the elevator, off you were.

chan checked if you’re really gone and started giggling like crazy, fingers gently caressing the spot you placed a kiss on.

during your third date with chan, after texting him all the time you decided to go to the cinema. you paid in advance for the tickets when you decided to see oppenheimer (only because you’ve already seen barbie with your friends). laughing at chan’s reaction when he realised, he promised to pay next time.

but in the middle of the movie you got a phone call. you’d decline it but as soon as you noticed it’s jihyo (because she was staying with jooyeon today), you rushed out of the room telling chan you’re going to the bathroom.

“yes? what’s happening?” you asked as soon as you left, going to sit at the nearby bench.

“pfff… one phone call and you already assume something is happening. well, actually right now…” jihyo started and your heart dropped when you heard jooyeon crying in the background.

“jihyo. what happened?” you hissed, anxiously gripping your knee.

“well, i don’t really know. i was watching the news and doing some paperwork while he was jooyeoning in the background, when suddenly he started crying. i checked if he hurt himself, nothing. he won’t tell me why, he won’t hug me… i don’t know what to do. he told me not to call you but i’m getting nervous” jihyo said and you could tell by the speed of her speech. taking a deep breath, you nodded.

“hand the phone to joo, please” you breathed out and soon you heard your son’s choked sobs. “jooyeonnie?”

“mom…” he sniffled and suddenly started yelling “you’re a liar! you’re gonna leave me just like daddy did! you– you–! i hate you–!”

“hey, hey… calm down, joo. what’s going on? mommy is never going to leave you” you whispered, heart shattering. what is going on?

“you will! you’re a liar! and you’ll leave auntie yuna and auntie jihyo and– and auntie jeongyeon too! you’re a bad, ugly liar” jooyeon started hyperventilating, sobs and cries only audible on the other side of the phone

“jooyeonnie… i’d never leave you, i promise! mommy will be back in a second, alright? do you want me to buy you a snack on my way home? anything you want, my precious baby” you cooed, heart thumping in your chest. did someone say something in the kindergarten?

silence. long silence.

“dino nuggets…” jooyeonnie murmured, sniffling again.

“got it. i’ll be back in ten minutes, dear” you gulped, standing up “love you so much. i’ll be back soon, hold on okay?”

you hung up and hid your phone back in your bag. running your hands through your hair as your mind raced. what happened? who made joo think this way? why–

“y/n?”

you looked up and saw chan walking your way. great.

“are you okay? i got worried, you…” he stopped, smile dropping “you’re pale, did something happen?”

yes. your son – about who you didn’t tell him yet – is bawling his eyes out at home, god knows why. and you’re terrified. parenting books didn’t prepare you for any of this.

“i… i don’t feel too good. i’m sorry, i think i’ll go home” you mumbled, sending him a sad look “i’d love to stay but…”

“hey, hey. i understand. absolutely don’t worry. do you want me to drive you home?” he asked, voice genuinely filled with worry. it made your stomach flip, it was something truly heartwarming.

“no, no it’s okay. i’ll take a painkiller and go to sleep but i’ll let you know once i feel better. again, i’m sorry for ruining our date” you mumbled. chan took your hands in his and caressed it with his thumbs.

“please don’t worry about anything, okay?” he hummed and squeezed your hands “are you sure you’ll go home on your own?”

“yes, i am. i’ll keep you updated. again, i’m so–“ you started but chan shook his head.

“don’t be” he said softly and let you go. you sent him an apologetic smile and walked away. chan observed you until you were gone from his sight.

you were home quickly, with dino nuggets and some other necessities (gummy bears and ice cream). swinging the door open you almost dropped the groceries, running up to jooyeon. he wasn’t crying anymore, which was good but now he was sitting on the couch with his arms crossed. pouting. ah. he’s more angry than sad now.

“jooyeonnie, i’m here” you breathed out, giving jihyo a look. she nodded and took the groceries, preparing to heat up the nuggets for jooyeon “will you talk to me? please. did someone say something bad?”

he put his lips into a right line, looking away.

“you’re a liar. you’ll leave me, just like daddy. even auntie jihyo said she’s scared of you leaving” he huffed, lower lip trembling. you sent jihyo a piercing look to which she only mouthed ‘it was a joke’.

you sat up and wrapped an arm around him. joo slapped your hand, wriggling away.

“i won’t leave, baby. what made you think that way, sweetie?” you asked quietly.

jooyeon sighed deeply.

“the guy”

you looked at jihyo, frowning. she shrugged.

“what guy?” you asked. jooyeon puffed his cheeks.

“auntie jihyo said you’re seeing a guy and in a blink of an eye you’ll leave them. and if you’ll leave them, you’ll leave me” he grunted.

oh.

“baby…” you whined, pouting “that’s not…”

“and– and you will disappear, just like dad! the guy will take you away!” jooyeon whined and finally looked at you, cheeks and lashes still wet from tears.

“he will not. your dad was a pu– scaredy cat. he was scared, that’s why he left. i will never… ever, ever leave you, joo!” you smiled and squished his small cheeks “yes, i am seeing a guy. but even if i like him and i’d like him to be my boyfriend, i won’t leave you. we’re a pack, you know? whoever would want me, has to want you too, hm?”

“was dad scared of me?” jooyeon asked, eyes tearing up again.

“oh no no no! he was… how to say it… he was scared of the responsibilities” you sighed. well, technically joo’s dad was scared of him but that’s not a conversation for now, with a five year old “you’re not the reason, okay? if anyone said anything to you…”

he shook his head slowly. so this was the case. poor jooyeon was just scared and… in fact, you did neglect him lately. you didn’t… you didn’t even ask him about his day. after picking him up from kindergarten you went straight away to dress up for the date–

“if that would make you feel better… if there’s a guy i’m seeing, you’ll have to accept him. or not. if you don’t like him, you tell me. we have a deal?” you cocked your head and reached your hand out.

“m’kay…” he murmured and his smaller hand squeezed yours. you pulled him into a hug, hiding your nose in his hair.

“i’m sorry i made you feel that way” you mumbled. jihyo came over, sniffling. sending her a shocked look you realised she’s… crying.

“i have dino nuggets!” she said cheerfully despite her voice trembling. jooyeon leaned away and pecked your cheek before aiming for the nuggets. you let him eat and looked at jihyo.

“what? you made me emotional. can we approve the guy too?” your friend mumbled. you nodded and scoffing, you hugged her too.

during your fourth date with chan – and yet another one during which you didn’t tell him about jooyeon – you were currently strolling down the street, coffee in your hands. well, you drank yours. having a small chat you couldn’t help but giggle when he told you about the time he mistakenly took wrong pendrive to work. resulting in showing his boss a presentation he made for a powerpoint night with his friends, titled: “why felix eating chicken is cannibalism”. you were about to ask him how on earth he didn’t get fired when–

suddenly your heart dropped and everything started happening in slow motion.

jeongyeon and jooyeon walking from around the corner, holding hands. jeongyeon was talking to him, smiling and your son was engrossed in the conversation. he was holding a small flower. his ebony eyes noticed you and widened, sparks of joy. his lips opening, a tiny hand of his letting go jeongyeon’s. and then you heard it.

“mommy!”

joo ran your way, almost dropping the flower. chan was still clueless, eyes laser focused on your features. once he realised something’s wrong, jooyeon was close. your instinct told you to squat and open your arms to hug him, so you did. joo’s body hit yours, tiny hands wrapping around your neck.

“hiya mommy!”

you hugged jooyeon back and leaned away, tucking a strand of his longish hair that stuck to his forehead. was that paint–?

“hi baby” you whispered, barely audible. jeongyeon walked up, panting. finally you looked at chan, heart pounding against your rib cage as if it was about to break any second. you couldn’t read him. sure, his mouth was hanging open and his eyes were widened but…

only when you picked up jooyeon and came back to chan’s eye level, there it was. the reaction you knew too damn well. features dropping, shock morphing into realisation. next was…

“that’s… that’s your kid?” chan spat out. jeongyeon squinted, jaw tensing. she liked chan, sure. he was a nice guy and a hardworking manager. but what he was about to say could completely change her point of view.

“yes” you mumbled faintly, sending him a weak smile “it’s my son–“

“you didn’t tell me. i get it, not saying anything about– i don’t fuc… know, a goldfish when you were nine but a child“ anger. anger was next and now there will be– “y/n… i’m disappointed”

your heart dropped. you had a small flame of hope that he won’t be like the other guys. he won’t run away, he won’t judge. but no. despite all the fun time and genuine softness of his character chan was like every single man you’ve met before.

“i can explain–!” a pathetic whine ripped out of your throat, making jooyeon tilt his head.

“i don’t… i need to go. we’ll talk later” was all he said before walking away.

jeongyeon quickly came over and took jooyeon from your hands. truly, you were thankful for that. as your heart shattered into pieces, your knees went weak. you wanted to lay down on the sidewalk and cry; no, wail.

looking at jooyeon and then jeongyeon, you took a deep breath. no. you’ll have to wait until later. you don’t want him to see you cry. your friend’s face was saying ‘told you so, you should’ve have told him sooner’ but her hand met yours and gave it a small squeeze.

“i’m sorry” she whispered and nudged your arm. jooyeon poked you and gave you the flower he was holding “let’s go home, hm?”

the next two weeks were tough. chan left you on read, so you gave up on texting him. the worst part was that you knew it’s your fault. you should’ve told him earlier. but… you really thought he’s different. he really was, so caring and soft; he didn’t want just to hop in your bed. but in the end, he’s just like others.

jihyo and jeongyeon wanted to kill him. yuna too, even though she didn’t know him. the girls told you that he’s off ever since that day. jihyo didn’t talk to him, only sending cold looks his way. chan seemed… ashamed every time they met. especially jeongyeon. in fact, he seemed to avoid them.

jooyeon was a sweetheart, though. you weren’t sure if he understood but he knew something was wrong. he tried to cheer you up and it worked. how could it not? he’s adorable himself. bringing drawings and flowers from kindergarten or just watching him experiment on the garage band with a huge smile on his face. just having joo around was enough.

one day, he invited his friends over. it was quite a challenge: five other boys running around in your living room. but their laughs were contagious. while most of them, including junhan’s. he was the most shy one, clinging to you and peeking at the boys. joo though, being the happy virus he is, dragged him away from you and they ran to his room. when you wanted to take a look what’s going on, the oldest and the boldest pushed you out.

so you decided to do some paperwork, a sitcom playing in the background. from time to time you heard shouts and sounds of footsteps… and metal lids smashing against each other. guess they were playing the band game.

smiling upon remembering the times you used to do that with jooyeon while you still had your guitar, there was a doorbell ring.

gaon, one of the boys run out.

“if that’s my mom tell her i’m not here!” he yelled and ran away back to joo’s room. scoffing, you walked closer to the door. how would that even work? if you were to say that, his mom would lose her mind. it was the whole purpose of inviting them so they’re here–

“hi”

your eyes widened. opening the door, you were met with chan. he was holding a huge bouquet of flowers, biting his lower lip anxiously. you were so stunned, you couldn’t mutter a word.

“i’m… can we talk?” he asked, sparks of hope in his ebony eyes. he was dressed like usual, black from head to toe. you on the other hand… already in your pyjamas–

“i, uh… sure, i guess. come in. or no… see… joo has friends over and–“ you started and got interrupted by a loud metal noise. ah yes, the drums. sending chan an apologetic smile, you sighed “yup. that’s exactly what i was going to say”

chan smiled, nodding.

“it’s fine. those are for you. i know this isn’t enough to make up for how i reacted but…” he handed you the flowers. while you rushed to put them in a vase, chan stepped in and closed the door.

his lips subconsciously curled into a smile while he looked around your place. tiny shoes all over the floor, crayons and papers laying around, cars and legos splattered everywhere. there were plenty of pictures too. most of them were just your son. some of them were jihyo, jeongyeon and you. and your son, again. or some pictures with your parents, like on your graduation day. and another one: your parents, you and your son.

“okay, come in. take your shoes off, it’s already a mess. do you, uhm… want some coffee?” you asked, fidgeting with your fingers. he shook his head as a no.

“no, thank you. listen y/n… i’m sorry” chan said, looking into your eyes. you were shocked, mouth slightly parting. he let out a nervous laugh “i’ve been acting like a total idiot since then but i needed some time to think, i’m sorry”

“yeah, i mean– it was kind of a bomb, wasn’t it?” you scoff. chan noticed a glint of bitterness on your face.

“can we sit down? i feel like–“ he started. you led him to the couch, quickly moving away the small, plastic plates boys left after dinner.

when you were settled down, you turned off the tv. there was comfortable silence, only filled with background noises of faint music coming from joo’s room.

“again, i’m so fucking sorry. y/n, i just… you are really the girl of my dreams. i don’t think i’ve ever met someone who understood me so well, who i just had this flow with. and i truly like you, i really do. i… i know the way i reacted was shitty. but… maybe if you told me…” chan finished hesistantly, scanning your face to see your reaction “truth be told, i needed to think it through. i had so many thoughts but… why, why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

you let out a deep sigh, looking down. at his neat black pants and your messy pyjama ones.

“because i did it before. and each time i was met with the same reaction. either a nasty comment or a weird look, and all of them ended up in eventually leaving me without word. or a word as in “listen, you’re cute but the kid”–“ you took a deep breath, feeling yourself bubble up. chan grabbed your hand and squeezed it “and, and i was so tired of that. it was so selfish of me and unfair for you and even jooyeon but… for a moment i wanted to feel loved. wanted to have fun. i wanted to cherish those moments because i knew you’d leave too and–“

crystal tears started running down your cheeks. chan pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you. one hand at the back of your head, caressing your hair soothingly.

“and it’s awful; i’m awful. joo thought i’d leave him for you and i knew you’d leave me because of him. it’s never ending circle and i’ll be alone forever and joo will think it’s his fault and–“ you hiccuped, not realising you’re rambling “and- and i really liked you and your reaction hurt me but it was fully my fault…”

“hey. hey, y/n. calm down, it’s okay” chan whispered, lulling you in his arms. you gradually calmed down, the feeling was full of comfort. comfort and closeness you needed. such a simple move, yet it had soothing effect. this made you realise why joo loved to be out to sleep this way.

leaning away from chan when you finally gained the strength to, he wiped your cheeks.

“i’m sorry, from the bottom of my heart. neither of us didn’t handle it properly. we’re human, we make mistakes. but then we learn. i understand now why… why you were scared. and i’m so… pissed. because listen, y/n” he said, voice stern but not in a disturbing way. his calloused hands took your smaller in his “despite the way i reacted i realised i like you. and… if there’s… joo… then– then it is a bit of a challenge. but when i was thinking about it and did the math… you were 20. alone, young. during studies, during work. you were so brave. you still are. and you handled it on your own. so why i, a man, should be scared of helping you?”

your eyes teared up again, heart beating against your rib cage unusually hard.

“well, i am. because i don’t know how you’ll react, or if he’ll like me, or maybe because simply i’m new to this. but… as i said… i like you. and i really want to spend more time with you. if that means taking care of your son, i’m willing to do so to” chan smiled, dimples showing “especially if he’s as funny as his mom”

suddenly you heard footsteps and giggles, followed by a sudden gasp.

“no mrs lee! i’ll save you!” the oldest boy, gunil, shouted. before you could react, chan was getting beaten up with pillows by six kids. even the shy junhan.

he started laughing and fought back, gently of course.

“does anyone here have tickles?!” chan hummed and the boys squealed, backing away.

“who’s that?” jooyeon asked, tugging your t-shirt.

“he’s a friend of mine. chan. can he watch your performance too?” you asked. chan’s ears perked up.

“performance?” he repeated. jooyeon nodded proudly.

“yes! but our music is for vips only!” seungmin added and just now you realised they grabbed the keyboard from joo’s room. jungsu, seated next to him, nodded shyly.

“okay! i’m a music producer so if you guys want i can give you some tips…?” chan asked, sending you a smile.

“pft! auntie jeongyeon and jihyo are music producers too, they gave us tips already!” joo grunted, walking away “anyway… is the audience ready?”

chan nodded enthusiastically and scooted closer to you. watching the six boys perform, chan sneaked his hand in yours and intertwined your fingers. with a squeeze of his hand your heart skipped a beat; you finally met the right person.

masterlist <3

taglist. @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @litepowee ,, @ocean-minho ,, @lessthanpast ,, @s-e-s-a-I-e-n-e

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