#i made 3!!!!! digital drawings this evening alone and they all were crap

[ezra-returns]

i've been trying to make more art recently because it's gonna be so awkward if i go into my super mega advanced art class having forgot how to draw completely, but due to my unplanned 2 month long hiatus from art (aka i haven't made anything cuz my art teacher doesn't give summer homework) my skills have kind of ceased to exist so. that's something

[lovestrucked-again]

Sanguine I Mafia

Genre: Mafia AU Warnings: dark themes Word Count: 3k ANON Ask: Hi I really LOVE your writing and I’d like to request the reader in the nct mafia series gets in some trouble with another company. Serious trouble. But on accident. So the boys have to really work something out to get her back – I’ve taken the idea and done a little series, hope you like it <3 Summary: You were a second year med student taken in by the house of NCT. It’s not uncommon to be the last to learn things within the house but when your safety is threatened, your forced to leave home with no option. But it only makes things worse.

****

Waking up to a loud racket in the morning was nothing new or surprising for you. After moving in, the rarity of having a silent morning was priceless and you could only dream of those days. However, for this Thursday morning, waking up so late in the morning was a disaster, finding out you’re running late to your morning lecture wasn’t what you were expecting. As a second year med student, suggested by yours truly, Qian Kun, you were crushed by the weight of content, leading to late study nights and hectic schedules.

When you were first bought in, you were still a first year student, confused in what course direction to take, what your interests were, and your own capability. As you got comfortable within the house while your first year ended, Kun suggested going into medical school, noticing your attention to detail and caring nature. Lucky for you, your studies were never an issue and getting in proved no difficulty.

Your bedside clock given as a gift from Doyoung (because your always late), showed 8:02am, 28 minutes before it starts. Quickly jumping out of bed you ran to your bathroom, brushing through the knots that had formed in your hair overnight and taking a shower. After getting dressed and grabbing your phone and bag you ran downstairs to grab a snack before leaving. Surprisingly the house seemed strangely quiet for an early morning. A few of the boys slept in during the mornings, somehow managing to sleep though the heavy noise, but majority would be up and about by now.

You sneaked a peak into the living room while grabbing an apple from the fridge, seeing the absence of people. You grabbed your usual set of keys from the row of hooks at the entrance to the garage, noticing most of the car keys were missing but too late to think deeply into it. You ran over to your favourite car within the garage and threw your backpack onto the passenger seat beside you before starting the engine and driving as fast as you could to your class.

Arriving 5minutes after the lecture started, you sneak in through the back door hoping no one would notice you. Obviously with your luck, the class happened to be completely silent when you entered and the sound of the door creaking open caught everyone’s attention. You mumbled a small apology to the lecturer who didn’t bother to acknowledge your presence and continued with his talk. You settle into your seat and pull out your laptop and begin typing away as he talks.

Almost halfway through your lecture your phone buzzes. You ignore the initial vibration felt from the phone on your desk, too immersed in typing as your lecturer continues talking without bothering to slow down. However, as soon as the continuous texts popped through, the students around you were starting to give you looks and you had no choice but to answer to your phone. You glance at the screen noticing the texts from Jaehyun.

Jaehyun: Where are you?

Jaehyun: Y/N?

Jaehyun: Y/N? Answer me.

Y/N: In a lecture, something up?

You see the three little dots typing through the screen for a minute, then disappearing, and then reappearing.

Jaehyun: No, have fun and stay safe.

Not bothering with it too much, you placed your phone in your bag this time, and tried to catch up to what the lecturer was explaining. When the digital clock above the board showed 10am, the lecturer began piling up his paperwork, and dismissed the class.

Normally you’d find the Dream group who would be roaming around the campus around the same time as you had your lunch break. The 2000s line were first year students due to their part time commitment as students. They balanced life at home with training and missions while also completing a normal life – forced upon by Taeyong. You made your way over to the tables under the shaded trees and pulled out your phone to pass time. It was almost 10:30 when you realised there was still no one here.

You pull up the group chat you had for the bunch of you who attended college; Renjun, Haechan, Jeno, Jaemin and you.

Y/N: Did you guys all ditch today?

Haechan: We got held back at home

Y/N: You’re at home?

Haechan: Yeah

Y/N: It was so quiet this morning though, I thought no one was home.

Haechan: Big meeting today

Y/N: Guess I’m spending lunch alone

Jaemin: Go make some new friends

Jaemin: Girl-friends only

Y/N: :(

You hum to yourself, putting in your earphones and grabbing your drawing pad along with a pen. The time passes rather quickly as you sketch out the trees in your view, the figures of people passing by, the group of friends gathered on the lawn. The music abruptly stops and you look at your phone, confused at the interruption. You notice the call coming through and pull out your earphones to place the phone against your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey can you come to the car?”

“My car?” You ask, confused.

“Yeah, I’m at your car.”

“Okay, give me a few minutes.” You tell him, hanging up to gather all your belongings.

You notice the familiar car parked next to your own car and your face crinkles up confused at the unannounced visit from Lucas coming to your campus. Lucas stands leaning against the bumper of his car, staring at his phone not seeing you approach him.

“Hey what are you doing here?” You ask,

“I’m picking you up.” He simply states, putting his phone in his pocket and taking your laptop and textbooks from your grasp.

“I drove though.” You tell him.

“I know, one of the guys will get your car,” he says, motioning to the passenger side of his car for you to get in as he places your stuff in the back seat and opens the door on the driver’s side for himself.

“What’s going on?” You ask, closing the door before your fighting with your seatbelt strap to pull over your shoulder.

“We’re going on a vacation.” Lucas replies, leaning over to help you with your seatbelt. You lean back against your seat as he fumbles with it for a second and then buckles you in.

“Thanks, and I don’t know if you’ve realised but I still have lectures to attend tomorrow.” You tell him.

“Jaehyun handled them already.” He tells you.

“What do you mean?” You ask, starting to get concerned with the sudden situation. “Lucas what’s going on?” you ask again.

“Call Jaehyun, it’s better he tells you,” Lucas says, letting out a sigh as he pushes the gear stick into drive. You pull out your phone and dial his number, being sent straight into voicemail. You try again while Lucas watches, waiting for a response as well.

“He isn’t answering.”

“Try Taeyong.” He tells you. You click onto your speed dial for 1, calling Taeyong immediately. The phone rings for a few seconds and as your about to give up, he answers.

“Hello?”

“Hey princess what’s up?”

“Jaehyun didn’t pick up his phone and what’s with this sudden vacation? I still have classes to attend.”

“I’ve put your application on defer for now.”

“You did what?!” You yell into the phone. Lucas flinches from your sudden raise in voice.

“Sorry I should’ve talked about this with you.” You hear Taeyong sigh through the other end.

“Yeah, obviously. I’m not going on vacation or whatever this crap is Tae, I’m going back to class tomorrow.”

“Y/N things aren’t going very well recently and I need you to get away from everyone so your safe.”

“I don’t care about that, since when did you have a say in my education and what I do?!” You yell, “I’ll move in with a friend if I have to but I’m not leaving.”

“Sorry Y/N but I can’t let you do that, please just go with Lucas for now okay? I’m busy at the moment so I’ll call you back later.” He states, hanging up before anyone has a chance to say more.

Little did you know, the meeting that occurred earlier in the day was to discuss the current situation with enemy plans and events that have recently been going on. The members had been taking turns following you secretly to classes or trying to accompany you wherever you went without you realising it. Taeyong had been receiving threats lately regarding the entire NCT and the safety of the members. When someone sent an anonymous email to him containing images taken of you doing your daily activities outside of the house he decided it was time to separate you from the group.

Much to many of the members disliking of being separated and out of site, you were in danger to be living with them in this current situation. You leaving the city was planned last minute today and was agreed upon by majority in the meeting. Doyoung and Lucas had packed all your essentials within a few minutes before Lucas left to pick you up, leading you to where you were now. Your safety had been left in the hands of Lucas, unfortunately. Not saying that you were on bad terms with Lucas but more of his reliability seemed to be questionable.

Lucas on the other hand was even more miserable than you. The problem of babysitting you while being separated from all the action back home and being stuck inside a hotel would kill him of boredom.

The car ride was mostly silent, Lucas trying to change through the music playing and then being interrupted by phone calls coming through. He connected them to his in ear Bluetooth, trying to avoid you from hearing about the business projects he was dealing with. You rotated between sleeping and scrolling through social media for the car ride. Eventually as night falls, he pulls into a hotel within a small town. The two of you get out the car and he goes in ahead of you, tossing the keys to you while he susses it out.

The front desk lady had placed a pair of keys on the counter bench when you walked in the front door. You could see Lucas was running a hand through his hair – a habit he did when he was frustrated - when you approach him.

“What happened? Did you place a reservation?” You ask Lucas as he dials Jaehyun.

“The guys did, Jaehyun gave me the address for this place.”

“What’s the problem then?” You question, confused.

“Why did you book only one room and there’s only one bed?” Lucas complains into the phone. As soon as Lucas mentions one room you go blank. Sharing a bed wasn’t an issue for either of you, considering you’d had frequent movie nights with him which you ended up sleeping there instead of returning to your room. The problem is his sleeping habits. They want me to share a room with this loudass? How am I meant to sleep through his snoring? Your head was running through a billion problems and you were bought back into reality just as Lucas was about to hang up.

“Jaehyun what is this?” You ask, motioning for the phone from Lucas.

“Hey baby how are you?”

“Great. A little frustrated but you know, nothing new.” You tell him sarcastically.

“Yeah I know, sorry everything was too sudden for you.”

You sigh into the phone, knowing that you shouldn’t be taking your feelings out on him, “Yeah.”

“It’ll be over soon,” He says, comforting you through the phone.

“Okay,” you mumble, “Lucas and I are checking in now, be careful okay?”

“Yeah you too.” He replies, just as you end the call and hand the phone back to Lucas.

Lucas takes the keys on the counter and the two of you head back to the car to bring your belongings up. The room was simple. A large king sized bed and a TV in its direct line of sight. The bathroom connected near the entrance in a separate area and a little study desk and lamp. A little couch at the far end near the curtains covering the sight of a balcony.

“I’m going to shower first.” You tell him, searching for your pyjamas.

“Don’t be so slow, I’m tired.” He complains.

“Says the boy who spends 20minutes in there.” You shoot him a glare and he smiles at you blinking his eyes with innocence. “Also who packed my suitcase, where’s my pjs?”

“Doyoung and I did, don’t know if we packed pjs though..” he trails off. He pushes himself up from the couch and flips through his bag. He pulls out a plain white shirt and throws it across the room to you, “Wear this.”

“Is it clean?” You ask, holding it with the tips of your fingers. His hygiene routine isn’t classified as one of the best within the group and you feared he had given you a sweaty one.

“Obviously.” You give him a suspicious look and gather your night time things, heading into the bathroom. You strip down and step slowly into the tub, turning the water on high and letting it beat over your head as the steam begins to fog up the mirror. Closing your eyes, the heat of the water soaks into your skin and you lean against the cool tiles, exhausted at the day of events.

After you’ve washed shampoo and conditioner through your hair, you turn the tap off, squeezing out the water with your hands into the tub before stepping out. The towel hangs from the door hook and your easily able to grab it without getting the floor wet. You quickly dry yourself off and chuck on a bra, undies and Lucas’ white shirt. You wrap the towel around your hair as you step out and the temperature difference of the rooms immediately causes you to shiver.

“You can go now.” You tell Lucas, jumping straight under the covers of the bed. He hums in response, throwing you the TV remote while he disappears. You lean up against the bed board and flick through the channels, finally deciding to just turn it off instead when nothing seems interesting just as your phone beeps.

Johnny: Hey Princess are you still awake?

Y/N: Yeah, how is everyone?

Johnny: Everyone’s okay, there’s a training session going on at the moment so they’re all a bit busy

Y/N: Ahh okay.

Your debating whether you should ask about Taeyong, regretting yelling at him earlier and knowing he was only trying to keep you safe.

Y/N: Is Taeyong mad at me?

Johnny: He’s not mad, just a little stressed is all.

Johnny: Don’t worry about it.

Y/N: Okay

Johnny: Go to sleep now, it’s getting late, you and Lucas still have to keep driving tomorrow.

Y/N: I will, goodnight.

Johnny: Night <3.

Just as you shut your bedside light, Lucas walks out the bathroom shirtless, ruffling his hair with the towel and eyes glued to his phone.

“You’re not sleeping on the couch?” He asks, glancing over at you.

“Me?” You question.

“Well I’m too tall to fit and besides, I’ve been driving all day and I’ll be driving all day tomorrow.” He states, pulling the sheets down on the other side.

“Do you know how many bedbugs are on that couch?” You ask before answering it yourself, “too many.”

“Just don’t kick me throughout the night like last time.” He warns you, flipping over to his side.

“Wow you’re so terrifying.” You mumble, crawling more towards your side of the bed. “Don’t snore like your Santa Claus okay?” You remind him.

Lucas obviously ignored your warning as he snores throughout the night. You let out a groan as you sit up and push him over, tossing him more towards his side of the bed. He stops snoring momentarily and then it starts again after a few minutes of peaceful silence. Are you kidding me. You do your best to just ignore him and fold the pillow against your ear, making the sound as quiet as possible. Your phone rings just as you feel like you’re finally falling into sleep and you cry in frustration, rolling over to reach it and pick up, not looking at the caller ID.

“Hey baby, how have you been?” The deeper voice asks.

“Sorry, do I know you?” You mumble, still asleep in your state.

“Ouch, that hurts, how could you say that to your lover.”

You open your eyes, squinting at the light of the unknown number on your phone screen. “Sorry I think you’ve got the wrong number.”

“Do I really? I swear this was the number for Miss Y/N, the beautiful lady who happens to be living with one of the desired Mafia gangs.” You stayed silent through the phone, immediately sitting up, obviously this guy knew who you were and your relation to the boys. You glance at Lucas whose still asleep and your feet search for your slippers. Quietly you tip toe out to the hallway, leaving a gap in the door behind you. “If I’ve still got the wrong number feel free to hang up, I’ll continue chatting with the so notorious leader who happens to be knocked unconscious.”

“WAIT!” You whisper into the phone,

“Hm?”

“Wh-what do you want?” You hesitatingly ask.

“That’s what I thought.” He laughs. “Now I know you aren’t alone baby, so is anyone listening to us?”

“No.”

“Good girl.” He hums before continuing “I want you to come home.”

“What?”

“Come home, alone.” He says, “and remember to keep this a secret, or it might be bad for the present I have for you. I’ll be waiting.”

[bottomtonyhoe]

Drama Kings - Chapter 3

“ Son of a bitch “ Jensen curses under his breath as he races towards his car. He can’t wrap his head around what happened back at the library. Who is he mad at? Osric for being a scared little kid who can’t defend himself? Ty for being an incredible douche and a goddamn bad influence? Jared for sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong? Or himself for defending him? . Yeah, he needs a drink.

He takes his fake ID out of his wallet and barks the car in front of a bar. Chicago street lights illuminating the view up till the entrance. He always loved the city, its high tech traffic system, the bridges and the river around it. It is way more beautiful than where he is from, or was from. He hands his fake ID to the bartender after he sits down and she looks at him suspecting. He flashes her one of his trademark grins and she hands it back to him .

“ Bear ? “

“ Yupp “

He isn’t alcoholic, not really , and doesn’t plan on being one. His dad’s drunk shadow is still hunting him down after he ran away on them. He still remembers that night very clearly..

“ Sir , are you ok ? “ Jensen’s small voice tingled through the tiny apartment. His dad’s frame was on the door and he could hear him trembling as he walked to the night switch and turned on the light.

“ What are you doing up, Jensen ? “ Alan’s gruff voice answered as he threw his keys on the broken table.

“ C-couldn’t sleep “ Jensen stuttered as he watched his father come closer, cornering himself against the wall. The morning’s ‘ well-earned beating ‘ still making its appearance on the 12 years old kid’s face. He braced himself for another, or for 100 push ups till he fell asleep of exhaustion. He didn’t expect what happened next. His dad hugged him. Alan freaking ‘ hugs are for fags ‘ Ackles hugged him.

“ Go to sleep , son”

He just didn’t know that was his dad’s way of saying good bye before he walked out on his family.

_________________

“ Are you ok ? “ Jared says, stepping closer to Osric.

“ Yeah, It is the usual. You didn’t have to get on a fight with the ackles boy.” Osric says, adjusting his collar.

“ He is an asshole “ Jared says and Osric smiles.

“ And you are going to be bullied “ Osric remarks pointedly and Jared returns the smile. He could fucking care less. Both the boys walk out of the school and Jared walks to his bicycle.

“ Where are you going ? Let me give you a ride . Here, put the bicycle in the trunk “ Osric holds his Chevrolet Optra’s trunk open.

“ Fine “. they both get in the car and Osric starts driving. There was awkward silence till the smaller guy cuts it off.

“ Sorry man, but I can’t help but wonder what the fuck happened back there? You said you moved from LA, but Jensen isn’t all about defending the new kids against his bestfriend’s bullying.”

“ I know. He is my neighbor. “ Jared says rubbing his forehead. That’s as good of a reason as any, right ?

“ So I am driving to my bully’s block .Nice “ Osric voice drips with sarcasm and Jared lets out a nervous laugh. He should’ve rode his bicycle home.

They reach their destination and Jared hurries out, getting his bicycle out of the trunk.

“ See you tomorrow. “ Osric smiles from the driver seat and drives off. As Jared is placing his bicycle in the garage, near his mom’s car, he hears a loud engine he recognizes. Jensen.

He watches as Jensen walks out of the car then he just stands there. His eyes meeting Jared’s and God, Jared wants to run. He is walking towards him.

“ Hey “ Jensen almost breathes. His hair is all over the place but it is still beautiful, His green eyes are darker in the moon light, His lips are a certain shade of pink and god so full and his freckles, despite the lack of light, are standing out.

He is gorgeous. Even if it isn’t the right time to think about it.

“What ? “ Jared manages to spit out. And the calm look on Jensen’s face turns into a frown, but he suppresses it.

“ Jesus Christ Jared. I am here to apologize. “Jensen says and Jared suddenly realizes how the breeze is causing him Goosebumps. Just the breeze.

“ You shouldn’t apologize to me. You do this all the time, don’t you ? “ Jared glares at Jensen. He is fed up with the special treatment and the calm look, even if it had only been two days.

“ Do what ? “ Jensen masters the ‘ I don’t know what the hell you are talking about look ‘. Jared wants to punch his in his dumb, god-like, beautiful face.

“Picking up on smaller kids, bullying, being a homophobe and-“ Jared was about to go on all the rumors he heard from Misha, but Jensen cuts him.

“ Oh shut the fuck up now. I am an asshole, just not that kind of an asshole. I was just accompanying Ty. He is worse when he is alone, trust me. And homophobe? No way. Maybe Ty is ,but I am not. Listen. If it makes you feel better, I will stop Ty from coming near Osric again. “ Jensen says and Jared’s eyes widen.

“ Really? You would do that? “ Jared looked at Jensen’s face , searching for mockery. But Jensen seems sincere.

“ Cross my heart and hope to die “ Jensen gestures with his hand. A grin makes its way through his face. Jared lets a small smile appear then it turns into a frown.

“ Why? I mean , thanks and all. But why are you nice to me ? “ Jared asks and Jensen chuckles.

“ I have no freaking idea, man “ Jensen scratches the back of his neck before saying “ Good night, Jared” then walks into his house.

Jared can’t help but think of how good he’d look in skinny jeans.

______________________

Jensen tiptoes his way to his bedroom. His mom had this thing when she can smell alcohol on his breathe from a mile away. His phone betrays him and he answers immediately.

“ Hello, dear “ a British rich accent voice says. Mr. Sheppard, aka Mark the gun shop owner.

“ Snitch. Hey “ sarcasm speaks as he shuts his room’s door behind him.

“ Is that any way to speak to your elder ? Now listen to me very well. You will come tomorrow with your old man’s kit, ok ? “ Mark answers.

“ First of all, you are an elder, not MY elder. Secondly, I am not coming so you can tell mom. Last of all, my mom threw away that piece of crap. “ Jensen answers. Why would that short fucker want it anyway ?

“I won’t tell her. You have my word. And I ain’t talking about his personal belongings. The car. Have you ever looked under the backseats ? “ Mark answers, sounding far way interested in whatever his asshole of a father left him.

“ You know you sound sketchy, right ? “ Jensen says, running down the stairs. His dad gave him the car on his 16th birthday, after he walked out on them, and he put a kit there. This is what Jensen calls interesting.

“ Just give it a good look”

Jensen opens the backdoor of the impala and he pushes his hands under the back seats and moves it around, pressing the phone between his cheek and shoulder.

“There is nothing there “ Jensen groans.

“ No way. Look better for it. “ Mark says, irritated. Jensen finds what feels like a handle and pulls it out.

“ What the .. “

He looks at the briefcase in his hand. A high tech one with digital lock on it , an actual digital lock. It was blue black with three letters carved on it. W.M.F.

“ Don’t you dare play with it. You hear me, son?” he hears Mark’s last words and he hangs up on him. Jensen runs upstairs and he inspects it. Wow. This case is even better than the ones he did research on when he got bored. He hates it when he gets it bored, because he doesn’t go on a run or play more football with chad and Ty. No, he started fixing equipment and electronics . He rebuilt his own X-box more than once and he practically made his own joey-sticks. He admits it. Ty should make him do his homework.

Now, he needs to open this. Figuring out the password was out of the question because well, WMF isn’t going to be predictable for a 17 years old kid. But he could get the digital board out, run it on his computer and tries his luck with hacking.

That’s why he didn’t feel bad about cyber-stalking Jared, because well , his inner smart demons could do much worse.

————————————

Jared has a crush on Jensen. He admits it. It is pathetic and absolutely dumb, but he can’t ignore how his heart jumps around like a happy puppy whenever Jensen smiles at him. He can’t ignore how the ‘ special’ treatment from Jensen makes him feel. He has a crush on a straight guy. Typical Jared.

“So how was your day ? “ His mother says and Jared snaps out of his daze.

“ fine “ Jared mumbles and lets his hands work.

“Why are you drawing a portray of our neighbor’s son “ She warmly said sitting next next to him , silently admiring his work on the sketch. Jared is just an amazing writer and a great artist. She always encouraged him to publish his comics or share his drawing instead of just throwing it away. One person’s opinion never really matters, apparently.

“ He has a nice face “ Jared mumbles again and she smiles, running her hand through his soft hair. Jared shuts his eyes. Yeah sue him. He has no one in this world but his mother, so he just doesn’t try and shut her out. He would rather tell her than Misha or Gen who would probably just judge him.

“ Well , I will leave you to it “ She gets up, closing the door behind her. The sketch needs more details. He is going to have to stare longer tomorrow.

A faint sound of Led Zeppelin’s art lulls him to sleep. He dreams of green eyes, unhappy ones.

———————————

“ Dude, were you up all night ? “ Chad exclaims getting in the impala’s passenger seat. It is a daily routine for Jensen to pick up Chad and go for early coffee at Starbucks.

“Yeah. Don’t ask why “ Jensen nearly groans. He stayed up all night trying to crack that piece of crap open. It was so well encrypted and hacking into it was hard, since he was away from ‘ hacking for like 3 months. Yeah that’s the longest he has ever cut himself off.

“ Heard you pissed Ty off “

“ He pissed me off first “ Jensen answers, turning on the radio.

“Jared Padalecki. How do you know him? “ Chad asks, scrolling through his twitter timeline. He had the noisiest conversation with Ty before he was sent to bed. The dark haired boy had asked around about the new meat who had his bestfriend standing up his face with his fists clenched at both sides. He told Chad all about the LA boy and Chad felt nothing but amused.

“New neighbor. Now black coffee ok?” Jensen answers, parking the car at Starbuck’s lot. Chad scoffs and opens the passenger seat door.

“and you’re the example of the perfect citizen who respects his neighbors’ rights. “

“Fuck off.” Jensen says, half-way smile making its path on his face. Chad stands up and shuts the door behind him, causing a loud noise and Jensen makes a mental note to oil the door.

He lets his mind drift to the briefcase, not its encryption, but the fact that his father left him a car four years later after his disappearance. His mother tried to mindlessly convince him it was his father feeling bad, that it was a start to an actual attempt to come back to them. He shut it all out of his young mind, not out of stupidity, he wasn’t that naïve, but to avoid false hope and unrequired heartbreak. Now, he knows the car wasn’t sent to him for such reasons but for this briefcase. He wonders what its story is, why Mark asked for it 2 years after the delivery of the car. Who is W.M.F. He googled it and he came up with nothing.

“ Dude! Are you stoned?” Chad’s voice snatches him from his messy train of thoughts. He opens the door and jumps in the car, handing him his coffee. Jensen neglects to answer and drives, focusing on nothing but the road ahead, which seemed too vague out of sudden.

School day was over too fast. Classes mashed up together and he couldn’t focus on anything but one.

Jared Padalecki.

The kid was remarkably fascinating , if the expression fits. Jensen’s head felt like a loaded up bomb, but whenever he took a glance in Jared’s direction, It all seemed to calm down. He knows the reason behind this attraction wasn’t duo to his heterosexuality. He wonders if it was possible to be gay for one person? . He intends to make good on his previous promise to Jared, so he walks to an angry Ty, sitting on the bleachers after a terrible performance on the field.

“ You are here to gloat ? “ Ty hisses, wiping the sweat from his frowning forehead.

“ NO, but I am not here to babysit, either. So listen up, you will do your own homework from now on and stop bothering Osric. It is immature and stupid, and you don’t want my fist in your face. “ Jensen says. His expression of absolute seriousness that Ty has only seen on exceptional occasions. Ty narrows his eyes, expecting that frown on his friend’s face to turn into a smirk or a less serious expression, but it remained stone cold. Ty nods and Jensen gets up, planning to walk away but stops.

“ Meet us at Mark’s gun shop after your additional practice, You embarrassed me out there” . and Ty snorts.

—————————————

Jared catches Jensen’s frame behind the impala and walks to him. Osric told him that he was probably a magician, because Mr. Stark assigned them to write a 10 pages report on climate change through the past ten years and Lockwood didn’t even come near him. Jensen must’ve kept true to his word, apparently.

“ Hey. Jensen “ He can’t help the smile creeping on his face once he locks eyes with his crush.

“ English geek, nice representation. “ Jensen smirks and Jared flushes all over. He is inherently shy and Jensen isn’t making it any better. In fact, he looks too amused for Jared’s liking.

“Yeah, right. You talked to Tyler, didn’t you ? “ Jared heads for the topic. If he stands this close to Jensen any longer, he will definitely do something inappropriate.

“ I did. I hope he did what I said.” Jensen says, folding his arms.

“You order your friends around much?” Jared smirks, not helping the small step he takes towards Jensen. See? That’s his point.

“Only when they are being douchebags. “ Jensen says, grinning. Jared is taken back by how genuine his smile is, terribly beautiful.

“ I just wanted to thank you, though.”

“ Wanna come over ? “ Jensen asks. Jared thinks he is hallucinating.

“What?”

“ I said, wanna come over? PS4 has got a new set of games this year and both Chad and Ty are cheaters. Maybe you could keep up with me in honesty?” Jensen says, chuckling at the end.

“ We have a math test tomorrow.” Jared breathes. He really doesn’t want to decline this one.

“ We will study afterwards, or do you like studying alone ?” Jensen’s expression turns from confidence to a little—hesitation ?

“ I don’t mind extra help. I am in.” Jared smiles, trying to keep himself from grinning ear to ear. Gen’s voice creeps into his mind screaming ‘ SMITTEN’.

“Cool. See you at 7 “

Jensen watches Jared leave, taking a note of how his eyes lingers on the boy’s rounded ass. He can definitely be gay for one person.

He waits for Chad to hop in the car and he drives them both to Mark’s gun shop. Chad keeps asking questions about why they are going there and Jensen finally spills. No matter how douchy his friends are, he needs them on this one. Chad practically creates a hole through Jensen’s arm for keeping such secret for this long, considering 12 hours this long. Ty joins them once they arrive at the parking lot and Chad tells him everything. Ty has a more violent comeback but they all sort it out before going in. briefcase in hand, Jensen decides he isn’t going to leave without answers.

“ Hello, boys.” Mark says, walking towards Jensen, eyes fixed on the briefcase.

“ What is in it ?” Jensen tightens his grip around its handle.

“ Nothing that concerns you, for now.” Mark answers, narrowing his brown eyes.

“He sent ME the car. It concerns me alright.” Jensen spits, anger illuminating his deep voice.

“ Give me the briefcase, Jensen.” Mark orders, any intention of prolonged conversation gone. Jensen catches his hand reaching under the counter, where he keeps his gun.

“ Show me what’s in it.” Jensen hisses through clenched teeth.

“ I will. In time.” Mark answers. As his hand flinches, Jensen lifts his Colt, or his dad’s colt, from the back of his jeans. Gun barrel opposite the other, both men stare at each other.

“Son, I’m doing this for you.” Mark desperately says.

“ Save it. You know I am faster than you, so put down the gun.” Jensen says, tilting his neck and smirking a little. He must look like his father right now. Good times.

“Jen—“ Mark tries but Jensen cuts him angrily, “ PUT IT DOWN.”.

The older man obeys, looks straight into the younger man’s eyes.

“What is W.M.F?” Jensen calmly asks. He is literally putting every intimidation technique he saw his dad perform out there. He just needs answers, and he will get them.

“ Son, I can’t tell you—“ but the sound of the gun being readied shuts him up. Jensen is a kid. Kids aren’t intimidating, but Jensen is an angry kid, an angry kid after his favorite candy. He just doesn’t know how toxic it is.

“ It is a short cut for Weapon modification facility.” Mark surrenders. He might as well spell the rest out. The kid has brought it on himself, “ It is part of a special multi-national organization which, you know, modifies rockets, bombs and big guns.” Mark goes on, never breaking eye contact with the boy he half-way raised.

“I-I don’t understand. Dad was on the navy. He was o-out of service, how is that even navy’s business? “ Jensen stutters, feeling that he was hit with a literal bullet. He expected many things. Old navy kit in the briefcase, some sort of legacy. A way to get Jensen on the same path he was on, to be a soldier or in marine or whatever. But ongoing worldwide organization crap wasn’t anywhere in his mind. His dad was just a soldier, that wasn’t his area, at all.

“ Oh boy, you will wish you hadn’t asked that.” Mark says. Jensen lowers his gun.

Sorry for late update. College is a hoe 💔

On AO3 here

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Masterlist

[lycorogue]

Gabriel Agreste: A 3-Part Character Study

Part 2: My Headcanon for the Life and Thoughts of Gabriel

Hello again. In the first part of this series I explained my thought process as to why I bothered writing this collection of mini-essay/short story. If you missed it, feel free to go back and read that here.

Alternatively, if you want to hop ahead to my re-write of Gabriel Agreste in order to make him a legitimate sympathetic villain, you can find that essay here.

Now, before we continue with this psuedo-story, I want to throw in just a quick reminder-disclaimer. Below is my headcanon on Gabriel Agreste's history, and a sort of personality study under the assumption that he's similar to the man I know IRL and discussed briefly in Part 1. By no means is there any canonical evidence of any of this being accurate. Also, while I'm trying to explain Gabe's behavior and reasoning, by no means am I justifying or condoning it. You may continue to love or hate or love to hate or hate to love Gabriel however you please.

Anyway, check below the break to read my little pseudo-narrative short story on my headcanon history of Gabriel's life prior to us meeting him in the “Miraculous Ladybug” series, as well as my headcanon of his defining personality trait which might explain his behavior towards Adrien, Emilie, Nathalie, and The Gorilla.

Gabriel was a lonely kid. He was an only child. His parents loved him and cared for him, but they never really connected with him. He was never really all that expressive. His parents tried multiple things to bond with him over, but he was most comfortable alone in his room doing his own thing.

At university he remained a loner. He still didn't really make many connections with the other students. He was friendly with his roommate, and was willing to hang out with him and his friends, but none of the friends talked to Gabriel without the roommate there, and Gabe never initiated any interactions with the roommate. Instead, he focused on his artwork and his fashion design.

When Gabriel was about 25 his professor and mentor commented that his designs were uninspired and stale, and wondered what happened. Nothing had happened. Gabriel was just bored with life. His flatmate suggested he try going out into the world, outside his comfort zone, and observe people in order to become re-inspired. Despite himself, Gabriel agreed. He ended up going to the local watering hole by himself, and hid in the corner to try to people watch. Not even twenty minutes into this experiment, Gabriel decided it was a stupid plan and hurried out, only to run into Emilie. Literally.

If you want to read more about how I believe their first interaction went down, you can find it here.

It was an awkward and playful courtship. Outgoing, social butterfly, extroverted Emilie did everything in her power to keep Gabriel on the edge of uncomfortable as a way of broadening his horizon. She took him out to parties, social gatherings, and just public in general. She also allowed him his private time, but tended to make him try new foods, or would hide his favorite colored pencils in order to force him to try different art mediums. He soon discovered that he enjoyed the new medium of digital drawing more than colored pencils, even though he would always love the classic method.

Emilie pushed him, but Gabriel loved that about her. Every time he was down on himself she would pick him up. Every time he wanted to hide and hibernate she would pull him outside. Every time he was so engrossed in his work that he would forget to eat she would drag him to the kitchen to try out a new recipe she found.

Not everything was sunshine and roses though. There were some significant spats between them. With his life experiences, he grew to hate humanity, while she gladly embraced it. She picked on him for “not being nice” while he considered her wildly optimistic and naïve. He was gruff and callous, while she was loving, and strong enough to not put up with his crap. It only kept a couple of months before she could call him out with a glance.

She was so good for him, and he knew it. He appreciated it. And he was amazed that she picked him. He never once took her for granted, nor did he forget that she could have chosen anyone. He knew she had other options, and yet he was the one who lucked out enough to have stolen her heart. He didn't understand her love for him, for he never felt such a strong compassion towards him before. Still, he basked in the warm glow from her, and thanked whatever Greater Power That Be that she was with him.

His hatred for humanity as a whole waned slightly, mostly because Emilie kept showing him the positive. Every time he wanted to scoff, scorn, or dismiss someone he pictured Emilie's disappointed look, and it helped him become better. She became his consciousness. She became his empathy. She became his moral compass and compassion. She made him want to be better; to be the kind man she somehow thought he was.

Simply put: she became his everything. Life no longer was worth living without her. She was his sun and moon. She was his earth and sky. She was his smile and reason. And soon she became his wife.

He was nervous about not giving her the life that she deserved. They were still in a crappy little apartment covered in his drawings and fabric samples. However, Emilie got her start acting in an independent film created by an old school friend: Andre Bourgeois. While on set one day, Andre's fiance Audrey visited and noticed an outfit Emilie was wearing; an outfit Gabriel made her as a birthday gift. Audrey loved it and demanded to know the designer. Emilie excitedly called Gabriel down to the set where he met the upcoming fierce fashion critic. She thought he was the most inspired designer she had ever met, and gushed about him in her latest article in a big-name French fashion magazine.

Gabriel quickly became The Next Big Thing. He got a sense of pride knowing that he could finally provide for his amazing wife, and they enjoyed their time together inside their new mansion. Gabe doted on Emilie, treating her as both an equal and a cherished princess.

It was Emilie who convinced Gabriel to hire an assistant, and she was the one who pointed out the impressive resume of Nathalie Sancoeur. Emilie even listened in on the interview, and instantly loved Nathalie's personality. She figured that Nathalie could be just as good for Gabriel in his professional life as Emilie was in his personal. It didn’t take much for Emilie to convince Gabriel to hire the stoic woman.

Life was great. Gabriel could do the work he had always loved doing, and he could provide for his beloved wife while doing so. Nathalie helping with the day-to-day duties meant Gabe had more time for his wife as well, because what would be the point of all this money if he couldn't spend time with the reason for his waking? They were happy.

Then, when they were in their thirties, Emilie became pregnant. Gabriel didn't know how to respond. He remembered his own parents' failed attempt to bond with him, and he could sense that he'd have the same difficulties. He wasn't a people person. But he could tell how excited Emilie was, and she convinced him that he'd fall in love once he held their child. So he prepared for this new chapter of his life along side his wife.

When Emilie had Adrien she experienced a new level of love. Gabriel, however, did not. He loved Adrien. He truly did. He didn't realize he could care for anyone outside of Emilie, but there was this new and fragile life needing him, and he cared. He knew he would protect this precious little bean with all his might, but he also knew that Emilie is still his number one. She took up too much of his heart. Plus, the two of them created Adrien, while Gabriel and Adrien could never recreate Emilie.

Gabriel felt ashamed at thinking so, but he knew that while Emilie wasn’t replaceable, as long as Gabriel had her, Adrien could be replaced. It would hurt. A new child would never be the same, but at least with Emilie there was hope of returning to this family unit. He could always have another child; he could never have another wife, another love like Emilie.

Life changed more than Gabriel was ready for now that he was a father. More importantly, now that Emilie was a mother. She started pulling away from Gabe. Motherhood became her, and she connected with Adrien in a way Gabriel just couldn’t. Despite himself, Gabe became jealous of his own son. His own precious child. He reminded himself that he loved his son, but in the quiet of his mind he couldn't deny that he also missed the days when it was just him and Emilie.

The trio had family game nights that Gabriel half-heartedly participated in. They had movie nights that consisted of Gabriel working on his tablet or phone until Adrien passed out. Then he'd shift his son on the sofa so that he could have the space to snuggle up to his wife. They had family outings together: Emilie watching Adrien's glee; Gabriel watching Emilie's.

Emilie eventually called Gabriel out on the distance between her boys. Just like when they were dating and she pushed Gabriel to interact with people in order to make friends, she now pushed him to put in more effort to bond with their son. He wanted to. He really did. He wanted to laugh and play with Adrien the way that Emilie did. He wanted Adrien to run to him the way the small boy raced to his mother. More importantly, Gabriel wanted to make Emilie proud of him; to prove that he was the great father she envisioned him to be. So Gabriel started teaching Adrien about hard work, about applying himself, and about fashion.

It worked for a while. Emilie even loved the idea of their gorgeous little Adrien being the face of her husband’s brand. It felt like a great honor and show of love. But soon it just became an obligation, and both men feared breaking the one thing that tied them together. So Gabriel and Adrien begrudgingly continued with the photo shoots and ads. They both knew, however, that the only real glue holding them together was Emilie.

Then, about a year ago, something happened. Emilie is gone. Gabriel couldn’t accept never seeing his sunshine, his purpose for life, anymore, and hid her in the basement. He had no clue how to tell Adrien, and after so many months of hiding Emilie, he can't find a way to let his son now without breaking the boy's heart. Gabriel fears that Adrien knows about his father's jealousy, and would blame him for Emilie. Gabe is already overwhelmed with his own guilt at not being able to protect her. He can’t survive Adrien possibly adding to it. Adrien is his only family now; his only tie to Emilie, the only part of her still warm.

And Adrien looks so much like her. He acts like her too. Gabriel never noticed that before, and it pains him. He can't lose Adrien, he wouldn't be able to survive it. But he also can't bear to be with his son. Adrien is too much of a reminder of Emilie: her grace, her love of life and people, her kindness, her beauty, and her intelligence. Adrien is also too much of a reminder of Gabriel's guilt. Guilt in not keeping Emilie safe. Guilt in hiding her from Adrien, hoping his son would understand once she's with them again. Guilt about being jealous of his son's connection to Emilie, and the attention and part of her heart he took from Gabriel. Guilt about becoming a villain; hoping the ends will eventually justify the means.

He has to get Emilie back, though. There is no other option. He can't be a good human being without her; he doesn't know how. He can't feel compassionate towards others; he only feels hatred, and envy that he can no longer have what everyone else does. No one else's pain could be more than his. The world was simply there to keep him from his life's meaning, and he is determined to get the Ladybug and Cat Miraculouses in order to change that.

Well... that became a lot longer than I originally planned, but I hope it was an interesting character study. Again, I'm not trying to justify or condone Gabriel's behavior; just trying to explain it. Long and short is that I feel Gabriel is at the very least a sociopath, but may be extreme enough to be deemed a psychopath.

Now, granted, I only took two psych classes in college, so I can’t say for sure, but it FEELS like he’s somewhere on the sociopath spectrum. Especially when compared to this quote: 

"The psychopath is callous, yet charming. He or she will con and manipulate others with charisma and intimidation and can effectively mimic feelings to present as "normal" to society. The psychopath is organized in their criminal thinking and behavior, and can maintain good emotional and physical control, displaying little to no emotional or autonomic arousal, even under situations that most would find threatening or horrifying. The psychopath is keenly aware that what he or she is doing is wrong, but does not care.

"Conversely, the sociopath is less organized in his or her demeanor; he or she might be nervous, easily agitated, and quick to display anger. A sociopath is more likely to spontaneously act out in inappropriate ways without thinking through the consequences. Compared to the psychopath, the sociopath will not be able to move through society committing callous crimes as easily, as they can form attachments and often have 'normal temperaments.' . . ."

The quote is from Kelly McAleer, Psy.D, and I found the quote here.

Anyway, there were two more elements of Gabriel’s history that I wanted to put in the above “story,” but I also feel like they would have felt out of place because they didn't specifically showcase Gabriel:

Hiring The Gorilla: I see this happening when Adrien is still about a toddler or so; about age 6 at the latest. The media and crazed fans start becoming too much, and so Gabriel feels the need to hire a bodyguard. Mostly because Emilie refuses to just have Nathalie pick up groceries and the like. She wanted to still go out and experience their city, and take Adrien with, so the couple compromised that she'd have a bodyguard with her. Over the years, though, The Gorilla falls for his charges in a very familial sense. Emilie is like his little sister, and Adrien like his nephew. He loves them and will do anything for them. This love for Adrien is one of the only reasons why he remained in Gabriel's employ after Emilie went missing, especially with the harassment he receives from his employer.  

Adrien's Isolation: In Origins we find out that Adrien has been home schooled his whole life. In Malediktator we find out that not only did Adrien and Chloe use to play together as young kids, but also that she is the only one his age he has ever interacted with. Presumably, he hung out with Chloe because of the proximity to the Grand Paris in relation to the Agreste mansion, as well as the connection between the two families thanks to Emilie. In Mr. Pigeon however, Chloe had to introduce herself to Gabriel and noted that she was the mayor's daughter, not Audrey's. Granted, this is probably because the writers hadn't figured out the familial connection or who Chloe's mother was yet, but in-universe it could be because Chloe only ever saw Nathalie, The Gorilla, and/or Emilie, and she was used to throwing the “my father is the mayor” weight around. Anyway, my point being that Adrien could have been the face of Gabriel's clothing line since he was a toddler, and so his parents feared having a celebrity child in public schooling. The oddity though, was that Adrien's name was on Mrs. Bustier's class roster, Chloe knew he would be in her class, and Adrien attempted to get to the school that first day – as seen in Origins. I don't know if it's different in France, but in America a guardian has to register you for school, which means someone had to register him for Mrs. Bustier's class. Gabriel clearly didn't want him to go, and Nathalie didn't seem to be the type to sign him up behind Gabriel's back. Because of this, I believe Emilie was still around during the summer break between the school years, and had decided that Adrien was ready to get back out into the world and make more friends. She probably signed him up and let him know, explaining that he'd have Chloe in his class so he wouldn't feel alone. Adrien was probably ecstatic about this, and talked to Chloe about it. Then, when Emilie... well, whatever it is that happened to her... Gabriel panicked. He couldn't chance losing Adrien, and so he changed his mind about the public schooling. The decision wasn't made soon enough to cancel the registration with the school though, which is why he was still expected that first day. Nathalie probably convinced Gabriel to let Adrien go by invoking “it's what Emilie wanted.”

Anyway, as I mentioned in Part 1 of this series, I had come up with an alternative way of writing Gabriel's character. One that would make him legitimately a sympathetic villain. One that won't be abusive towards Adrien, at least, intentionally. One that could actually make the eventual battle between the Agreste men even more heart wrenching. A way to write Gabriel that could have added so much depth to the overall drama and dynamic of the show.

If you would like to see my thoughts on this re-write, I'll see you at Part 3 of this series.

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. another night of way too little sleep. makes me too tired to talk.

i didn’t draw much tonight. i worked on a digital picture for a little bit but i mostly watched youtube videos. some of it was about comics and literary theory and history of theater and stuff... so i can pretend i got something done i guess.

harrison helped me take snoopy to the vet this morning. it’s been too hot for me to want to force snoopy to sit in the carrier for 25 minutes while i cart her over to the vet’s office so he drove us. it was nice of him. i talked a little bit about how i feel like i’m never productive enough even when i work on physics consistently every day and i spend all my free time working on the comic or learning about stuff related to making comics or stories in general. 

i’m not sure what to do about it. i don’t know if i’d feel better or worse if i was getting more involvement from the audience. like, i know i’d feel pressured. i can try not to. i’m already disappointed that i had to move my posting schedule back to once every 3 days instead of 2 just because i don’t have anything i can draw fast enough to post that consistently at this point. i was hoping to get some requests but i didn’t get any... i dunno what to do. 

i realized i was obsessing a little bit over whether or not my friends were doing what i asked. i’m going to try to let that go even though i’m still kind of hurt and, i guess, legitimately upset about it. i suffer from being “permanently salty” and i have for my entire life!!! 

i just can’t be checking that garbage all the time. it’s like i’m back in 2014 waiting for a homestuck update. i wish i could be happy with the validation i’ve got. but it’s like, as soon as i have something i want secured, i immediately turn my attention to the next thing i need and forget about all the holes in my self esteem i’ve already plugged with whatever i can find. 

maybe what i want, more than for them to just read my dang story, is to have something to talk about. i just want my classmates to talk to me. i just want the people in my life to talk to me about SOMETHING. the comic is just a topic i have a lot to say about. 

i wish i didn’t feel so lonely. it’s making me feel all sore and hollow. i’m probably less pleasant to be around so the worse i feel the less people wanna hang out with me. 

this is what i was thinking about in group yesterday. most people have their friends to help them through difficult situations. like yeah friends can drift apart or be really confused by you acting weird or drop the ball, but i always feel so... abandoned i guess. pushed gently out of friend circles by people constantly making plans for parties i can’t attend because the plan was made same-day. for example. or being booted out of friend circles because a guy in the circle broke up with me (or we had whatever “falling out”) and no one wanted to hang out with me individually. like when it came down to me or him, they’ve always gone with him.

i feel like i can’t depend on anyone. like my friends are all well and good and fun while i’m fun, but as soon as things get rough for me i’m on my own. i’m only a good friend when i’m easy to have as a friend. that’s what i feel like. i’ve really... felt like that several times in my life, really acutely. with craig, naturally. high school when i had my wisdom teeth out and my friend threatened to kill himself because i was ornery when i couldn’t eat food and was in pain because mom stole my pain meds. sorry that was a big sentence. 

now, with the department causing all those problems for me. i didn’t feel supported by my classmates, not really. i don’t know if that’s because they weren’t supporting me... or maybe if it’s because i just physically cannot feel supported by other people any more. maybe it’s a problem with my perception. usually is. 

it’s always easier to say “maybe i’m the problem” than it is to say other people are the problem. i don’t wanna go casting blame around where it doesn’t belong. not if it’s something i could theoretically change. and i do want to change it. but if i admit it’s out of my control then... what am i supposed to do? 

like, if it’s not a problem with me, then am i just supposed to say “welp, it sure does look like my life is pretty lonely!” i can already see that! i want something to do about it. but the more i try to change the situation, the more upset i get when the situation doesn’t change... 

i wish changing the situation was easy. i wish i could just ASK whoever to hang out with me or whatever and they’d say “yeah sure” and then actually do it. could you imagine? 

the other option is to find another community. that’s been rough and slow going and not really going anywhere too. i feel like it’s not going anywhere. i feel like there’s something about me new people will take issue with and they’ll start ignoring me like everyone else. i wish i knew what was wrong with me. i wish i knew how to not overshare the many very depressing stories of my life. makes me look pathetic. no one wants to hang out with a loser.

i wish i wasn’t too shy to ask more people to hang out. i know some of you guys who follow me talk to me sometimes, and i know some of you even probably wanna play games. i wish i wanted to play games. i don’t wanna do anything... don’t even really have the energy to watch movies with oz. i don’t know where to scrape that energy up from. even during vacation days or weeks i just can’t seem to make myself do anything with people who actually seem to like me. 

is that, like, self sabotage? is that what that is? how do i make that stop? 

i guess that brings me full circle to the beginning of this entry then. i plug up the holes in my life and immediately turn my attention to the holes that aren’t filled and forget that the holes that were filled ever even existed. because they’re not urgent.

like i’m always putting out all this crap that’s on fire! that’s what it feels like. and i don’t have time to pay any attention to the stuff that’s not on fire any more because i gotta put out the NEXT fire. when am i supposed to rest? do i even know how to rest? i don’t think i do. even when nothing’s on fire my brain decides to pretend something is burning so i can panic and not pay attention to the stuff that’s fixed.

maybe if i pay attention to the stuff that’s fixed i have to stop feeling unhappy? and that’s a lot of pressure. if i stop feeling constantly stressed and unhappy, does that mean all the time i spent stressed and unhappy doesn’t matter? 

i already don’t matter. i guess i just want people to notice how bad i feel. but i can’t seem to get the amount of “noticing” that i want. maybe if i feel worse more people will notice and i’ll finally get the amount of noticing i want. but if i start to feel better, then that means i dealt with it all by myself and no one ever really helped in a way that made me feel better. 

i don’t know if that makes sense. i wanna look back on my life and say “yeah this person was really great, i love them” but i can’t seem to... find anyone like that. and if i feel better on my own then it’s like, i really am alone? i dunno. 

that was a lot of feelings. thanks for listening, internet. i feel like i learned something. or, i guess i have stuff to think about. it’s like 12:20 now and i’m hungry but i need to go to bed. but i’m too hungry to sleep, but if i snack right before bed it’s gonna be hard to sleep... i love these dilemmas with no good solutions! i live for them!!!

[lunaschild2016]

How Do You Want It - Part 3

Rating: M (Smut, Violence, Language)

WARNING: This is pretty much just straight smut!

They were playing a delicious game of Cat and Mouse until a prank ups the stakes in a way that neither had imagined but both craved. The wait has been such sweet torture but how much longer can they play this game before they give in? Eric/OC M AU (Smut, Lemon and fluff)

Inspired by: Bebe Rexha ‘I Got You’, 2Pac ‘How Do You Want It’, Boy Epic ‘Dirty Mind’

A/N: You can thank a night of listening to old school music and drinking with a friend for this gem. The title should say it all…love me some Tupac.

@kenzieam@ericdauntless@jojuarez26@jaihardy@iammarylastar@captstefanbrandt @captainviolets @badassbaker@readsalot73@fuckthatfeeling@dani5102@beltz2016@beautifulramblingbrains@affabletimelady@irasancti@meganbee15@meganbee15@lauraaan182@gylisaa@scorpio2009@gylisaa @bookgirlthings@pathybo

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Part 3

Soundtrack or mood setter: Tove Lo ‘Crave’, Tom Petty ‘Breakdown’, The Weekend ‘Earned It’, Lisa Hall ‘Is This Real’, Kehlani ‘Gangsta’, Enigma *insert anything yummy from them here*, Nick Jonas ‘Close’, Nine Inch Nails ‘Closer’

Cass never forgot a debt and she owed her supposed friends big time.

Yes, she had enjoyed her digital time with Eric. Several nights in a row for the past few weeks, actually she had enjoyed it.

She still owed them and she was biding her time. She was sitting smugly in the dining hall at the leader table at the moment because Uri and Ed were at the table with the rest of the crew jumpy as shit.

She chuckled darkly and took a bite of her food. Victoria followed her eyes and then looked back at her with a quirked eyebrow. She had grown close to the newest leader in the few years she had been with them. She looked at her almost like a little sister and had gotten to know her well enough to know she was up to something and something big.

“Care to explain why your two friends have been jumping at shadows and if there is a whisper of you in the area they get even worse?” Victoria takes a bite of her food and smiles, settling in for a story.

Cass laughs at the effect she is having on them and the sound carries to the table of her friends. She can see them wince and their muttered ‘oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, dude’ Is heard coming from Uri.

“Gods, I love seeing them squirm.” She grinned wickedly. Her brother threw a look in her direction, a disapproving look, so she smirked at him and shrugged. He huffed at her and she winked back at him.

“And gods damn do I love annoying the piss out of my brother.” She sighed blissfully almost.

This draws several laughs from the other leaders and senior members at the table.

Eric had to force himself to sit away from Cass. Their sex messaging sessions had gotten even more intense and it was making the tension between them even thicker. It was so thick he could see the others getting affected by it as if they were exposed to a damn serum. Pheromones were real shit and the two of them were pumping out enough to fill Dauntless and then some. It was fucking amazing.

It also made times like now, when something as simple as her showing how she can truly be, turns him on so damn bad it has her almost panting because she can feel it coming from him.

Cass breathes and clears her throat. “It isn’t a secret my friends, the Pedrad’s specifically, like to pull pranks. Well, I wasn't a slouch in that department even before I came here. I took the digs and meted out my punishments where I could.” She shrugged and shook her head as Eric tensed in anger at just who she was giving those punishments too.

She has had to restrain him on several occasions in the past even before they upped the game from going after Marcus when he looked at Cass funny during meetings.

There was an unspoken rule in leadership.

Cass would never go to a leadership meeting where Marcus might be present alone. Eric was always included because he demanded it, vigorously. Also, Cass and Eric were never to go with just them two to a meeting where Marcus would be there. Those two together, alone with Marcus, was just asking for something to happen. Not that anyone really thought the bastard would be missed.

She continued on. “So when Uri, Zeke and Ed decided to pull some shit on the girls and thought they got away with it...I let them. They never saw it coming and in the end I gave their girls power over them in the best possible way. Well the dicks decided to get back at me and I wouldn’t have minded but their timing fucking sucked balls. So I am biding my time to get back at them which is almost as bad as what I have planned.”

Max smirks as he looks at the two young men and laughs. “And will we get to witness this repayment? Or is it along the same lines of the crap I don’t want to hear about?”

Cass flushes a little and smiles. “No, this one isn’t along those lines. This one will be public and just as humiliating. But I am patient and can bide my time. When I strike it will be hard and fast and they won't even see it coming...again. Until then the wait is enough torture for me to start out with. Because it starts with them suspecting and dreading me. Then I make it seem like I have others in on it. Soon they will be jumpy around everyone and everything. They won't be able to eat without worrying. They won't want to go out because they will be paranoid. I play a long game and one I will win.” She shrugs with a smirk as the two guys get up quickly and start to back out of the room as if she would be coming at them right now.

From Eric's place at the table his breathing picks up at how sexy, deadly and terrifying she is. He had always known this but the other leaders were getting a real taste of it now.

The elder leaders all exchanged knowing looks. There were bets on when the two would stop playing cat and mouse games and finalize shit already.

Cass message alert buzzes and she already knows it is Eric. She had just seen him sending something out. She takes a few more bites of her breakfast to allow for time and then takes her phone out to check the message.

‘Plan on skipping lunch or just take something to your office. Then when lunch hits lock your fucking door. The rest you know the drill for.’ - Eric

‘You want to wait that long, Eric?’ - Cass

She smirked as she sent the message, fully aware that he had a meeting with Erudite. She heard his mumbled curse from his place down the table. She tried to not laugh as she and Victoria shared knowing looks.

Victoria knew some of what was going on with them. She couldn’t understand how Cass could hold out so long but she didn’t understand either of the young leaders really. They were ultimately committed as hell to each other, in ways that only leadership had the privilege to know about. In almost all other respects they acted like a couple and everyone knew that much at least. They also seemed content to take things at their own pace in their own way. A way that if she thought about it, fit the two of them perfectly.

‘If I could I would bend you over this damn table and take you now baby. Seeing as how I would have to kill every fucker in here for hearing things only I am allowed to hear and seeing you the way only I am allowed to see you, I will have to refrain. After my meeting with the damn noses will have to suffice. Better be ready because I will for damn sure need you more after dealing with their shit.’ - Eric

‘Lunch then. Don’t keep me waiting longer than that.’ - Cass

They exchange looks before Eric winks at her over his cup and smirks into it when she blushes as Harrison starts making kissy noises at the two of them. She flips Harrison off but is laughing along with the rest of the leaders. The laughter at both tables dies down and the leaders get on with talking about the business of the day.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She almost forgot about their appointment for today. Almost. Until Tris stopped by her office about forty five minutes before Cass normally took her own lunch with Eric and asked if she wanted to join her since Eric was out of the compound.

At first Cass had looked up and smiled, about to accept and then she remembered. Just the reminder had need and desire flooding her, making her skin flush. She cleared her throat and shook her head.

“Thank you though. I think I will just work through lunch again. I am sure I will pick something up later.” She tried to make her tone as even as possible but there was no use. She was already worked up and had been since she left breakfast.

Tris smirked at Cass and nodded. “Well, if that is the case, I can pick you something up and drop it off. I was going to drop something off to Chris at the shop anyways.”

Cass smiles brightly at Tris and nods. “Thanks that would be fantastic. I know you know what I like.”

Tris winks at Cass and wiggles her eyebrows. “Oh, I know what you like alright. And can I just say...thank you.”

Cass blushes and laughs. “For what?”

“You know Four has been going nuts over the thought of you and a certain leader. Keeps his crazy butt off my ass and I am free to finally breath.”

Cass laughs louder and shrugs. “What can I say. I make it my mission in life to annoy and harass the shit out of my brother. He still giving you shit about saying you need time to find your own place and that you need space?”

Tris nods and sighs. “I knew he was a tad overbearing but it is getting ridiculous. I can't step out and even think of dating because he is always there watching.”

Cass narrows her eyes in thought and then gets a wicked little grin. She laughs when Tris shivers and shakes her head. “You know, you and Eric are fucking made for each other.”

Cass blushes a little and shrugs. “Don’t worry about brother dearest, Tris. You go ahead and make plans to go out tonight with that guy from R&D that I know you have been flirting with.” Cass laughs at Tris’ blush and sheepish expression. “I think I have an idea on how to deal with Tobias. Maybe it is time he came out of that Abnegation shell he has his head shoved so far up. I have the perfect idea for it. No, I will not be telling you. You might want to get going though.”

Tris laughs and nods wondering what kind of devious plan Cass will cook up. Anything that will help give her room to find herself and what she wants from herself much less a relationship would be welcome. She heads out to pick up food for herself, Chris and Cass; leaving the leader to plot and plan.

A few messages later and the plans were set. Tris had dropped off food after about twenty minutes and shortly after that Lynn dropped a small brown paper bag on her desk. She only smirked at Cass before she waggled her eyebrows and fingers and then made her way out.

It still wasn’t time for lunch when her phone rang. When she saw Eric’s name pop up she was frowning, already sure he was stuck at Erudite because Jeanine was being a demanding and bossy bitch again.

She stuck her earbuds in and swiped to accept. “Gods Eric, you better not be calling to tell me you have to cancel.”

Eric chuckled huskily and shook his head in denial as if he could see him. “Fuck no, Cass. I couldn’t listen to her voice anymore; so I just fucking walked out.”

His tone was full of that frustration she was all too familiar with when he had to deal with the crazy Erudite leader. They all had that tone with dealing with her ‘holier than thou’ attitude. Cass laughed in relief and imaging him scowling then just stalking out of there without saying shit. “Oh how I would have loved to been a fly on the wall after that.”

“Fuck her. I don’t want to talk about her. Cass, where are you at right now?” Eric growled out his questions and stopped in his tracks when the thought struck him. “Please tell me you are in your office.”

It wasn’t a question but a lust filled demand even plea. The tone and deepness of his voice had her swallowing. “I am in my office. I haven’t left it. Tris got me lunch and dropped it off not to long ago.”

Eric let out a relieved breath and nodded. He had stopped where he was in the corridor just before The Pit and was bracing himself with one arm against the stone wall. “Thank fuck baby. Cass if I had run into you in The Pit or the Dining Hall…..”

He trailed off and left what he meant being left unsaid. They both knew they were reaching the end of their patience and quickly. The tether was as far as they could stretch it and was straining to snap.

Cass nodded and closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath. “I know.” She said simply, her voice matching the undiluted lust that was filling them both.

“Baby, I need you to do something for me. Before I take another fucking step into this compound I need you to get up, walk over to your door; then close it and lock it. I need to hear you do that now, Cass.” He commanded her hoarsely.

Cass nodded and rose on shaky legs to walk over to her door. It was quiet and they only heard the sound of each other's breathing before he heard the snap of the door closing and then the click of it being locked.

She could only stand there, breathing through her flared nostrils and leaning against the door. She closed her eyes at the sound of his own labored breathing that had her going weak in the knees.

“Gods baby, you’re fucking killing me right now. We aren’t even doing shit and just the sound….” Eric closes his eyes and shakes his head, praying for the strength to walk by her door and keep walking. “Move away from the door baby. I don’t want you even near it. I know you are going to know when I am outside of it but don’t fucking open that door for anything. Do you understand me, Cass? Don’t even get near it because I might just….I will just fucking kick that shit down.” Eric groans at how bad his body is vibrating with need for her.

They are both thinking that maybe that wouldn’t be a bad idea. To just go ahead and end this wait and torture. But they had made a silent pact that night. They would hold out just a little bit longer. They were so fucking close to give in now.

Taking a deep breath she nodded. “Yes Eric.” She said in the tone and manner she never used with anyone but Eric. It was rare that she did but he knew what she meant when she did.

Eric smiled softly and sighed. “Good girl.”

Cass didn’t do submissive. He didn’t want her submissive. She was his equal and his partner in every respect that he gave a shit about.

But when she gave herself over like that in those rare moments she did take on the submissive role it meant so much more to them both. They may never say the words that others said and they didn’t need to. Their actions showed each other.

This was her way of showing it to him right now. Cass took a seat at her desk and breathed in. “Okay Eric.” She gave him the all clear.

“Remember don’t go near the door baby and I don’t care who fucking knocks just ignore it. I will call you when I am in my office.” Eric pushed away from the wall and was already stalking his way to his own office.

They didn’t need to say goodbye before he disconnected the call and made his way quickly, not willing to wait even another second to stop and get his own lunch.

She tried not to count down the seconds that felt like hours until she heard him. She felt him just like he said she would. She could tell by his steps that he had tried just barreling past her door but it must not have worked. She could see the shadow of his hulking frame in the sliver of space under her door. She could just imagine him leaning against it and that alone had her gripping the arms of her chair in a death grip.

Everything in her was screaming to go throw the door open and pull him in.

She heard a growl and then a muffled. “Don’t.” Before he must have pushed himself back from the door with enough force for it to rattle it in it’s frame.

She couldn’t breath as she heard his steps move away with almost impossible speed and then the slamming of his own office door just beside hers.

Somehow she knew he was going to call not message like they had been. After that sample of just what their breathing had done to each other, there had been no other option. She swiped to accept the call and swallowed.

“I wanted to open the door.” Cass breathed out as a way of greeting.

“I wanted to break the shit down.” Eric agreed, his hands clenched in fists as he leaned his head back into the headrest of his leather office chair. His eyes were clenched shut as tight as his fists and even now, ten minutes after he had entered his office, he was still restraining himself from doing just that.

“We are close, baby.” Cass whispers in a pant.

Eric gets a wicked grin and breathes in and out deeply. “I am counting down the hours, Cass. What would you have done if you had opened the door love?”

Cass sighed in thought and felt her hands go to her throat as if he was there stroking it right then. What she wanted to do wouldn’t have been what she would have done. She must be seriously sadistic because she still wouldn’t have given in all the way.

“I would have tortured us both some more, I think. But you already knew that.” Cass finally said, her voice having dropped to a deep breathy whisper.

Eric gave a huff of gruff laughter and smirked. “Of course you would have, baby. It’s you and me. Tell me what you would have done, Cass. I am standing there, panting with need for you. Fighting myself to not take your mouth in a kiss because when I do, I won’t stop. You know that right? That will be my fucking undoing with you, Cass. Not feeling your body against mine or even your hands on me. It will be when we finally fucking kiss, baby.”

Cass smiled and nodded but vocalized her own desire for that as well. She wouldn’t say it but that was another thing she had saved for him. Even with having given in and having sex with Trey...that was all it had been. There was no kissing or even real foreplay. That had all happened in her mind with Eric and he was just the physical release needed for the one part of her.

“No kissing until it is time, Eric.” She chided him as if he really were standing in front of her. “I take your hand and lead you to my chair. You get that smirk that I love when I push you down into it. I think you are expecting something different than what I do though. And what I request of you.”

He really is smirking when she says this and quirks an eyebrow at where she leaves off. “What do you want, baby?”

Cass shifts uncomfortably from how turned on she is just by thinking about it. She already knows her panties are going to be useless to her because they are rapidly approaching that point right now. “I want you to be my hands. I want you do for me all the things I would normally do for myself and not let me touch myself even if I beg you for it.”

Eric’s hands clench even tighter as his erection reaches even new heights of hardness. The fucking things she does to him. “Sit in my lap, Cass. Now.” He commands her gruffly.

“My back is against your chest Eric but my head is just to the side of yours so you can give me your commands but so I can do the same as well. Because you want me to tell you what I want you to do to me and for you, don’t you?” Cass asks as her hands ghost along her face and neck. Imagining his breath against both. That same breath that she hears picking up.

“Yes. I want you to tell me exactly what you want me to do to you. But you better not even try to touch yourself, Cass.”

“I won’t Eric and if I do I give you permission to punish me…..this time.” Cass growls out and groans at the same time. She smirks at the return groan and growl she gets from Eric.

“Where do you want me to touch you, Cass? Where are you touching yourself right now?”

Her hands are still at her neck, throat and cheek as her fingertips lightly graze against the exposed skin of her deep v neck t shirt. “I can feel your breath on my face, neck and throat, Eric. It sends shivers down my spine to have the warmth of that and your body against mine. I want you to move your hands along the exposed skin of my shirt, my shoulders, then down to my breasts. The nipples are so hard and straining against the fabric.”

Eric gives a sideways smile and closes his eyes. He can almost see and feel her weight in his lap and the fabric of her clothes against his nails. “You want me to scrape my nails against them through your shirt, don’t you?”

“Yes.” She breathes as she was doing exactly that. “My hands grip the armrests tighter because you don’t stop at just scraping your nails on them. You can’t resist pinching them through the fabric.”

“Keep going, Cass.” Eric’s voice is raspy. He is unwilling to even begin to touch himself right now.

What is about her and him that brings out the ability to torture themselves so badly? Whatever it is he loves it and always has.

“You pause briefly to cup them through the shirt but I need more. You slowly pull up the shirt until we can both look down and see the lace of my bra. The one that has the hook in the center. With a flick of your fingers, baby, you undo that simple clasp, exposing me to the air.” She swallows and groans as her hands move to do exactly this.

Eric’s nails dig into the palm of his hand as his breath picks up and he swallows nodding. “Their perfect, baby. So fucking perfect and the nipples are standing out ready for me to roll between my fingers. Is that what you want?”

He hears her moan and shifts as his eyes close. That soft whimper of a moan that has him straining in his pants even more as his hardness demands to be released. “Yes, Eric. I want you to do what I would. I would tug, roll and tweak them. I want your hands to cover them and rub your palms over them. I want to feel you cover them and know those hands and only those hands belong there.”

Eric growls his agreement, his nostrils flare and he bites his bottom lip. He doesn’t have to speak to tell her to keep going because he knows she is losing herself in it.

“One hand stays moving between my nipples giving it the exact attention I need and crave while your other arm moves to something you and I both crave. I need to feel the heat of your hand against my heat through my pants, Eric. Cupping me…” She gasps and moans as her hand moves between her legs.

It isn’t her hand she is seeing. It is his and his breathing that she can hear picking up that is blowing it’s intoxicating scent and heat over her skin. She can almost feel her hair being moved by it.

“Cass, you are so fucking wet for me. I can feel it through your pants, baby. I won’t be able to resist feeling for myself how wet you are.” He is almost impatient for it and he knows he is going to demand the panties he knows are drenched for him.

“You want me to move my pants down, Eric?” Cass gasps her question and is rewarded his growl and denial.

“No. You don’t get to touch yourself, Cass. Not even for that. This is all me, baby. I undo your pants and lift your hips to push them down.” Eric commands her, his forehead furrowed in desire and with the force of his restraining himself.

Cass smirks a little and sighs. “We have a problem though, Eric.”

“What?” Eric groans out, not liking be denied even in their play.

“You are right. I am drenched. And it is only going to get worse as we go on. You are right under me baby and it is going to mess up those pants that are barely restraining your cock as it is. Yours are going to have to come off too.”

“You don’t have to fucking ask me twice, baby. I give you permission to stand and take your pants off but no more, Cass. As soon as you get them off put your hands on your desk until I get finished. Do you understand me?” Eric commands and is already moving to unfasten his pants as he hears the rustling of her working to do the same.

“Yes, Eric.” Cass gasps out and hurriedly kicks her boots off and then shoves her pants down. She does just what he asks and her hands go to her desk.

She can feel his smile over the line, as he knows she has followed his command. She hears his groan and knows he has freed himself and her breath picks up when she hears his chair creak slightly from it taking his weight again.

“Come here, baby. Sit back in my lap and put your hands back on the arms of the chair.” He waits until he hears the same sound of her chair creaking and her weight settling before he breathes to calm himself as much as he can.

Just imagining her in her office, stripped of all but her panties with her shirt pushed up and her breasts heaving.

The now familiar clenching of his fists resumes as he stops from touching or even adjusting himself, afraid it might set him off. “Do you know how fucking maddening it is to know you are next door? Always just a fucking door away from me, Cass. I can see and smell you that is how real this is to me, baby. I feel your breathing and gasps. The hums of pleasure that vibrate through your body into mine. I feel it all and it is so fucking close but still way too fucking far away.”

Cass bites her lip and moans but still hasn’t gone back to touching herself yet. She closes her eyes and imagines Eric sitting in his chair. Those powerful thigh muscles bunched up with the effort of holding his body in place. To keep himself from breaking through her door and taking her with everything he has and is. She knows his fists are clenched hard enough that they are cutting into the palm of his hand.

“I feel your straining, Eric. How you have every bit of muscle you have coiled in so you don’t lose control of your body and make your way to me. I feel the way your veins in your arms are strained and bulging because you have your fists clenched so tightly that you are cutting into your palms.” Cass moans as she moves to get them both relief of some kind. “They want to touch me so badly that you can’t help it anymore, Eric. I want to feel the roughness of your hands as you once again move to my breasts to remind me they are yours.”

“I can’t be gentle, Cass. It won’t be gentle when I take you. You know that right, baby?” His voice is deep and worried because he can already imagine how it is going to be. They will enjoy the fuck out of it but he also knows that he won’t be able to control himself.

“I don’t want it gentle, Eric.” Cass growled. “I want you not some softie. Just like, now that my heat is right there for you to feel and see for yourself how wet you make me; you take it roughly with your hands. Cupping me and then sliding fingers up and down through the cloth. Making it soak up more of me for you.” She moans and smiles because she hears his groan at her gasp when her hands move along with her words.

“Get it all Cass, because those are mine after this. I expect them to find their way to my desk or door after I hear you cum for me, baby.”

“Take them off of me, Eric. I don’t even need to get up as I only have to lift my hips slightly and then bend and bring my legs up to my chest. Can you guess what that does for us, Eric?”

“Fuck! You drive me crazy. You are spread wide open for me aren’t you? Keep your fucking legs right there, baby. Use your hands to hold them behind your thighs. I am going to pull you up enough and free myself, baby. But you aren’t taking me in. Not yet. I just want to feel you slide against me while I run my fingers up and down your folds.” Eric works his boxers down his legs as he pants out his commands.

He knows she is following along by her little moans. “This is crazy, Eric. It’s like I can feel you right against me. So fucking close and I need it, baby.”

“I know baby and soon. So fucking soon….but for right now I am going to take two fingers and slide them to open you up and roll your swollen clit between them. Pulsing and pinching ever so slightly. You’re moving your hips for me aren’t you? Trying to get to my cock, sliding yourself along it”

“Yes, I can’t help it. God, how can I be so close already, Eric? How are you able to do this to me?” Cass whimpers and moans as her fingers mimic his words an already feels her climax so fucking close.

“Our bodies know what each other needs, love. Just like we know what each other needs and always have. You know I need you to come soon baby, because I am hurting here with how much I fucking need you and release. I can’t stop from stroking myself as I imagine my fingers sliding into you. You are so wet for me. Let me hear how wet you are, Cass. I’ve heard it before, baby. In the bathroom. I want to hear it again like I did then.” Eric groaned his demand as he tried to restrain the pace he had on stroking himself.

Cass moaned and closed her eyes as a smile ghosted her lips.

Of course he did.

He wouldn’t have let what she had been showing and what she caused in him go without wanting to talk to her. Only she hadn’t been in a state or even given him time to. She could imagine him there in that bathroom with her. He had been there and that was why she had been able to achieve her climax. She had somehow known it.

“I think I knew that, Eric. Did you like hearing me beg you to make me take it, Eric?” She purred out as she began to do what she knew he wanted of her. She wanted her to plunge her fingers into herself just like she had done that day.

They both groaned at the sound and her whimper when she made the contact that they both wanted and that would have to do for now.

“Gods yes, Cass. I barely stopped myself from bursting into your fucking stall and demanding to know if it was fucking me.” Eric growled out as they both picked up there.

“It was you, Eric. It is always you, you know that. I wanted you to be the one bending my over to grab the wall and fucking me hard and fast. I want that right now, baby. I need it so bad. I don’t even care if you make me beg for it first.” She moaned out as he hands worked harder and faster. All pretense of torture over for them.

“No begging this time, Cass. I want you take all of my cock now baby because I am about to lose it. I want to be deep inside you when we cum. Are you ready to come with me?” Eric’s hand was working fast over his length one hand cupped his balls that were tightening. He was there and holding out for her.

Cass moaned and panted her yes as her free hand began to work over and pinch her clit. “Fuck….Eric yes...now baby...fill me up now.” Cass got out just before she let go with a force that surpassed even the day she was pumped full of that damn serum.

“Fuckkk….” Eric groaned as his hips thrust forward and he released forcefully.

Cass’ body was arched up and her legs had fallen together to clench around her hands. There was a faint sheen of sweat that had built up quickly over her body just from the strain she had been placing on herself to drag things out at first.

It took long seconds for them to calm their breathing and then Eric gave a huffing laugh. “That was fucking amazing, Cass.”

Cass sighed blissfully and hummed her agreement. “Amazing. I don’t know about you. I am a fucking mess over here.”

Eric chuckled and looked at himself then groaned. “Yeah.” He sighed and shrugged. “Fucking worth it. It doesn’t take it all away though.”

Cass nodded and whimpered a little when she untangled herself and went to start cleaning up. “No it doesn’t. I can still feel the ache for you.”

“Tonight, baby. Just hang on for tonight. I am going to get myself cleaned up and then get some lunch. I expect those panties on my desk, Cass.” Eric said seriously as he made the decision to use his boxers as a towel for now. Not like he can’t follow her example and go commando.

“Yes, Eric.” Cass used the tone again. It was like the caress she wanted to give him along with the kiss he longed to give her.

“Good girl, love.” Eric followed it up with his own before they both disconnected the call.

Tonight would be the night their games ended. Tonight the welcome celebration the initiates would happen and it marked one year from the time they made their pact and had celebrated something in their own way.

Eric walked the halls wearing the smug smile that scared so many without giving a shit. Cass quickly slipped her panties into an envelope along with a note that for the night she would be going as she was now.

Then with her own smug smile she went back to her office to eat her well earned lunch, finish her plans for her brother and work on paperwork for the new training group.

[woodstonefeatherbone]

@panimemanda, AHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE KIND WORDS AND REBLOG!! <3 :D AHH!

Short answer is: practice. Like a lot of practice. All the time.

Longer answer: I’ve been drawing since I was five (admittedly more doodles and crap than anything remotely finished, let alone “good”), so I’ve been practicing for almost 25 years now. >_> Haaaaa.... I’m only just now starting to feel like I’ve developed  a style and some kind of consistency at all. 

I only started seriously working at “gettin’ good” at the start of 2016. I wanted to do a drawing a day for the whole year.. and that ended up being a little too ambitious and I failed, but I did start drawing a lot more, which REALLY REALLY helped. I usually draw every other or every few days now, depending on my energy levels (been sick a lot the last two years, blargh).

Things I do to try and improve:

look at a lot of reference photos of real people, whether screen shots from a movie or photos in magazines/online, whatever, to get proportions right. This also really helps with poses!

art tutorials! Lots of ‘em on Pinterest and Tumblr. :D

expression sheets--lots of other artists post one character with lots of expressions, so I try to mimic the various looks with my own characters with their features in mind.

if you’re sitting at a desk/table with your paper flat on the surface, pick it up and hold it at arm’s length, and look at your work straight on. It’s a good way to catch weird, exaggerated angles that shouldn’t be there.

go back to basics now and then--use just a pencil. Yup. Erasing helps when you’re not having a good time. Sometimes I’ll use a blue or red pencil for the first sketch, then regular pencil to try and refine the outline, then ink over it for the final version and erase all the pencil lines after the ink has dried overnight.

sometimes... you’re just gonna make shit, and that’s okay, because it’s still practice. Set it aside and start over, maybe use the shit drawing as an example of what not to do, lol.

Bonus Tip/Personal Opinion: Work with traditional materials to develop skills--pencils, pens, paints, etc.

You often can’t completely erase or cover up  your mistakes when you’re using traditional tools on paper, so it forces you to learn how to move your fingers, hands, wrists, and arms and builds muscle memory. So the more you do it, the more often you get it right the first time, instead of having the luxury to erase every single time you mess up.

Plus, it’s kind of liberating to not be able to erase, and see just what you end up with. You may make an accidental line and be forced to stare at it for awhile, and maybe you decide you like it better than your original plan. :D

That’s just my personal take. I envy digital artists, actually.. No wasted paper or materials, and it looks so smooooooth and professional. There’s a disconnect for me when it comes to using my stylus and my iPad to make digital art, though. It doesn’t “feel” right to my hand, so I feel like any digital sketching I do is really rough, no precision at all. But I should probably take my own advice and just practice more. <_<

Related concept: The word TALENT... is complete and utter bullshit, so let it go. Reject it, even! I sure as hell do. I hate that word. Arts, crafts, and work you do with your hands are all “workable skills.” The more you do them, the better you get at them. So take that horrible word and throw it right in the garbage can where it belongs. If you ever feel down on yourself, or that you’re “not talented,” take a step back, breathe, and realize that it’s a word envious people made up to describe something they were too lazy work at themselves. Because if anyone who ever said “I wish I had your talent!” actually did want to make art, they would be doing it instead of merely wishing they could.

/rant

...

Hope that helps a little! I’m thinking maybe I should take photos step by step as a kind of half-assed tutorial soon?!

[lumycena-main]

2016 New Year Resolutions

I made this list of New Years Resolutions at the beginning of 2016, saved it in my drafts on tumblr, and promptly forgot about it until mid November. Let’s see how many I actually completed!

Now that I’m a (mostly) fully-functioning adult, it’s time for me to make some New Year resolutions that are actually feasible, actionable, and non-vague. Well, mostly, I hope.

Self-Improvement

Read design books. It’s pretty bad that you don’t already do this.

Work out on a regular basis. Open your yoga mat that you bought 5 months ago and use it to do shitty push-ups. Also, take advantage of the fact that you’re in SF and the weather is perfect for running all year round.

I started bouldering 3 times a week and then later started doing hip hop dance classes twice a week!

Write more about the things you do, not just the things you feel. You did plenty of that in 2015.

I didn’t write that much in 2016, but I did up my note-taking game a lot at work. I’ll count it.

Art

Start a weekly webcomic on Tapastic, even if it’s crap and not funny and really rough and nobody reads it. Do it.

Make pottery.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDXOZHpgi5B/?taken-by=lubibul

Paint more. Don’t let those acrylics sit until they dry up on a dusty shelf. Your blank canvases are just taking up space if they’re not good enough to go on a wall.

This one is a toss up. I didn’t paint more but I did use the hell out of my copics. I also threw a paint party and we painted there. I COUNT IT.

Learn to draw 3+ new things. Landscapes, plants, animals, oh god - feet!?

I learned male bodies, calligraphy, and digital painting techniques

Make stickers, sell them in a professional manner. If you have to deal with taxes, then deal with taxes.

I ACTUALLY PUT UP AN ETSY SHOP! https://www.etsy.com/shop/luluSpiceDesigns

Work

Follow sprints to have more structure in my design timelines.

Instead of following sprints, I began to collaborate way more closely with my developers. It’s been really effective to have a short feedback loop and I got a lot of projects done this year :)

Maintain a 0 inbox every night before you go to sleep. Remember how good that felt when you were on a roll with that?

Maybe not 0 inbox EVERY NIGHT, but my inbox has been quite maintained all year.

Other

Finish all out-standing projects. That cross-stitch ain’t gonna stitch itself.

I didn’t finish the cross stitch but I did decide that I didn’t care about it anymore. Similarly with all the other projects that I have started and completed - I only take on one big project at a time now. It’s given me a lot more focus and peace of mind.

Figure out what the heck stocks are and how they work.

I didn’t do this but I did invest in some mutual funds...

Get out more and explore the place you live. Come on.

Make friends. I have no idea how you’re going to do this, but maybe you should figure it out before you’re all alone for the rest of your life.

Although they’re my friends from work and college, I became closer with a lot of amazing people this year. So excited to take on 2017 with my crew!

Get 8 hours of sleep every night. You know it makes you grumpy if you don’t.

Mostly because of @bulletproofjockstrap​, I’ve been able to maintain a pretty steady sleep schedule of about 7-8 hours a night. Amazing.

Be early to things.

What I didn’t complete in 2016:

Read design books.

Start a weekly webcomic on Tapastic.

Be early to things.

Other things that happened in 2016:

Nick and I now live together in our quaint 1BR apartment

I got a promotion

I completed a full inktober

I recovered from depression and started therapy

I drew a LOT OF ART, like a LOT

I started selling stickers on Etsy and it feels amazing

I made 2 songs with AIR APPARENT that are on Spotify

I started learning how to cook and bake

And now it’s time to make a 2017 post!

[harrisjv]

Web Crusher Review

Web Crusher is THE fastest means to produce website design, sales letters & landing pages for 2018. It is the most effective method to develop profit-pulling websites.

How You Can Design Kickass Long Type Sales Pages

now those sales pages that are truly, really long? They're fantastic, however they mostly suck. I imply the means they are typically implemented sucks. Long kind sales web pages have their area, as well as they function very well in many situations. (Heck-- my own agency has one). Think about it-- the reason you have an internet site is because you wish to offer something. If you just have a single item, there's no actual need to have greater than one web page. The only information you should carry your website is just what makes the user recognize the item, i.e. its advantages as well as use cases. This helps consumers decide about whether the item addresses their particular trouble promptly. Clicking through several different web pages just gets in the way.

Some call them mini-sites, some state one-pagers. Same exact same. If you're making use of landing web pages to record PPC web traffic, and also you want them to buy something, you're most likely making use of a sales web page as well (or should!). Why that much copy? The quantity of duplicate you require depends upon the complexity and also expense of the product. The a lot more challenging and/or costly the product, the much more you need to discuss, reveal, inform, convince. If you're selling a box of matches for $0.25-- and also I need one-- I do not have to read any kind of duplicate. I just purchase it. The product is simple and also cheap. On the various other hand, if I'm on the market for a brand-new auto or a residence-- both complex (lots of things to find out about them) and also expensive-- I will certainly take weeks and also months to do study, check out and also compare. If you're offering something that costs claim $300-- I do not need weeks, however I do require a sufficient quantity of details before I could justify (to myself, to my spouse, to my boss etc) such a cost. Customers are viewers Concerned that your Web Crusher Review is too long? Don't. If somebody is ready to acquire after simply a brief skim-- having simply check out ~ 20% of the copy-- they could simply skip in advance and also click 'get'. No problem. However if someone reviews ALL the text on your site as well as STILL has concerns as well as questions, after that you've obtained a problem. This is why long form duplicate functions well. Real-- the majority of people will certainly not review the whole sales copy-- which's okay. It's not a book. The consumers that do are the ones who are really mosting likely to get.

However lengthy form sales web pages are cheesy as well as scammy! This is the reason I claimed "they mainly draw". I agree-- a lot of them are ridiculously cheesy as well as scammy. You're dead-on. This is why a great deal of individuals despise them. I visited Clickbank and picked some arbitrary products from their market. Right here are 3 regular long-form sales web pages. Random crap I found # 1: Exclamation notes! Check. Buzz! Check. THE Absolute finest! Inspect. This have to be marketing like crazy. (In case you were questioning, it's not.).

Random crap I located # 2:. They couldn't even get their logo screen right and the headline is unreadable. Random crap 3:. Another instance of "tested headline formula" at work.

Tough cool facts around lengthy form sales pages. A lot of them resemble vomit. Worse, really. The copy is written by boneheads who think that adding exclamation marks as well as hype right into every sentence improves sales. (Mature.). A great deal of the products offered using lengthy type sales web pages are actually rip-off. It resembles the easiest organisation to do-- simply develop a pdf data and begin offering it. That's why it brings in a lot of losers. The obstacle of entry is extremely low, so any idiot could begin. If you Google around long type sales duplicate, you will find great deals of vital article such as this one, yet you will certainly also see that the objection is everything about the implementation. I wish to advise you-- it's not the format, it's the execution that sucks. Long type sales pages could look terrific. It is possible to work with someone that could create terrific duplicate. Fantastic products could be offered with lengthy type sales web pages-- and also not just infoproducts. Right here's a long form web page we just developed for a customer. It's not an infoproduct. The duplicate is not tacky. Looks kickass. (Click to see the whole web page).

In the past, you should have discovered among those lengthy sales web page that never ever seem to finish. Most developers dislike lengthy sales letters because they consist of lots of message but evidently do not have on aesthetic appeals front. Some people go severe as well as call such sales pages as evil kinds of web marketing. Fact be informed: lengthy sales letter Web Crusher Review web pages are based on knowings from direct advertising and marketing and magazine market, so there is absolutely nothing inherently wicked regarding them. Actually, numerous marketing experts still utilize long form of sales pages due to the fact that they transform site visitors like crazy! This is the 3rd post in the collection of meetings as well as guest articles we are running on this blog pertaining to A/B screening and also conversion price optimization. In First post, we interviewed Oli from Unbounce on Touchdown Pages Ideal Practices. In 2nd write-up, Noah Kagan of Appsumo shared his A/B screening pointers. In this blog post, we interview Self-employed copywriter Jeremy Reeves, that is a straight action copywriter as well as advertising consultant. He focuses on long sales letter copywriting. His special as well as effective marketing strategies, incorporated with results-getting copy have actually made his clients numerous dollars. To read more concerning Jeremy and also see just how he can expand your company, head over to www.JeremyReeves.com/sales-copywriter Complying with is the meeting with him.

How to Style a Sales-Generating Landing Web Page That Attracts Website Traffic.

The adhering to passage is from Robert W. Bly's publication The Digital Marketing Handbook. Get it now from Amazon|Barnes & Noble|iBooks|IndieBound. Sales-generating landing web pages, also called sales pages, on-line sales letters, or microsites, are typically single-page internet sites committed to selling one item-- typically an item that's suited for ecommerce, implying clients could directly order it from the page using their credit card or PayPal. I have a sales page for a $19 digital book I market on how to make money by creating, posting, as well as selling PDF ebooks. This page has been very efficient for me: It gets a 32 percent conversion when I drive web traffic to it from my subscriber checklist. This indicates for every three individuals who click onto the page, one purchases the item.

One of the aspects I consisted of on this web page for my digital book was a framework from a brief illustration video that links bent on the video clip. An illustration video clip, or white board video, is narrative come with by an aesthetic presentation that's a sketch as opposed to videography. Video on website could often enhance engagement as well as sales; when I include these short sketch videos to my item sales web pages, I've found that conversion goes up 10 percent to 15 percent.

Duplicate matters and also is the first point. Lengthy kind sales pages are primarily regarding the material. So in order to close the sale, you require great copy. You do not begin to develop prior to you have the copy in place. Content first. You could only compose outstanding copy if you comprehend your target market-- as well as are the master of "little things" like recognizing your Web Crusher way around with words, understanding persuasion, sales psychology as well as making use of tried and tested structures.

While Jerry was discussing television, this applies equally to sales copy. No person is going to review it if it's uninteresting crap. It should join the conversation in the mind of the customer, target their problems and also preferred results. I've composed a thorough write-up called Quick Training course on Effective Site Copywriting, however keep in mind that this post is more regarding the procedure-- and also less about style and techniques. Be careful regarding selecting a copywriter. I have actually used a lots of copywriters for numerous jobs. My best advice: anybody worth employing beginnings at $1000 (normally much more-- in the $2.5 k to $5k array). You're much better off finding out copywriting and creating your personal duplicate than employing someone cheap. Individuals that economical are cheap for a factor (they generally draw). Obviously, rate alone does not tell you the high quality of the copywriter. There's a myriad of jargon-loving "expert copywriters" available (and I have actually had the misery of utilizing a number of). If they're utilizing things like 'take advantage of' and 'our principals are standing by' in their portfolio duplicate, run! A lot of them are also ego-driven (which is reasonable-- they're human) which makes them inadequate at taking feedback, intense about warranting their options and all of it results in mediocre duplicate at finest. BUT-- wonderful copywriters do exist.

Both my landing web page and the email I utilize to drive web traffic to it utilize among online marketer Mark Ford's copywriting strategies, which he calls "the power of one." In the power of one, your copy concentrates on a single suggestion, clearly shared, with lots of proof. In the case of this promo, the concept is basic: The most convenient product to market online is a digital book, which I've clearly stated in the heading and lead of my landing web page. Here's my heading: The World's Simplest-- and also Most Successful-- Item to Produce and also Offer Online. The headline and also lead are immediately adhered to by a checklist of factors supporting the insurance claim that ebooks are the best as well as most convenient item to market on the web. In touchdown pages, it pays to develop reputation early, right on the initial screen. The factor? Individuals have constantly been cynical of marketing, and with the proliferation of spam and also shady operators, they're much more suspicious of just what they review online. As a result, your landing web page copy must promptly get over that doubt. One method to do that is to make sure one or more reliability builders is clearly shown on the initial screen the site visitor sees. In the banner at the top of the web page, use your logo design and firm name if you're popular. Within or promptly under the banner, put a solid testimony or three above the heading on the first screen. Take into consideration including a reliability pre-head. This is a line of copy that comes before the heading. It sums up in one succinct sentence or expression some crucial trustworthiness of the seller.

Typical aspects of lengthy sales letter. Inquiry: Exactly what are one of the most typical components of a lengthy sales-letter type Web Crusher website? Can you damage them below top-to-bottom? Step 1 is the main headline location. This includes the pre-head, primary heading and subhead. This is the factor where you intend to instantaneously get their attention and basically-- inform them WHY they will check out the page. Tell them what remains in it for them, and also do so in an amazing method.

-- Click the picture over for complete screenshot--. This is also referred to as the "Deck" copy". Next is the opening words, additionally referred to as the "lead" or "introduction". This is where I like to get in touch with them psychologically. Depending on the market, item and also hook I discovered when doing my research, this could be any one of the significant feelings such as temper, shame, fear, satisfaction, and so on. Following comes the body duplicate ... The body copy would certainly include locations such as establishing them for the sale, revealing the option (e.g. why it's unique, just how it functions, exactly how it's far better compared to others, and so on) ... why they need to be hearing you ... the advantages of the product ... social evidence, and so on ( This is the biggest area of the duplicate). Next off, you make your deal. You inform them specifically what they'll be obtaining, just what the rate is, the unique value proposal of whatever it is that you're marketing (e.g. why it deserves greater than exactly what they're investing in it) ... the assurance ... as well as all that good stuff. Basically-- you're giving them "X" in exchange for "X" bucks. At the end of the deal area of the duplicate, I want to place in an order box including a summary of every little thing you just said. By doing this, skimmers could see the "entire bundle" at a glance. You show them every thing they're obtaining, just how much whatever is worth ... and why they're paying X% much less compared to what it's worth. Hereafter, comes the "close" where you can do lots of points including injecting shortage right into the offer (yet PLEASE don't inject incorrect shortage) ... having them consider the repercussions of NOT acting, reminding them of the benefits/value/guarantee/ deficiency, etc . The close would generally be whatever after the order form on the page-- consisting of the P.S. Which's basically it! I could break it down into even more portions, yet it depends upon LOTS OF factors so it would only perplex people who do not currently comprehend it.

Choose what kind of copywriter you need. One more thing to bear in mind is that brand name copywriters and also straight response copywriters are really various. It's an entire different frame of mind. We as soon as employed a brand copywriter that had an outstanding return to, had been dealing with all sorts of big brand names in the past. She totally fell short at writing straight reaction copy. She simply couldn't figure it out.

Tags: Web Crusher, Web Crusher Review, Web Crusher Bonus, Web Crusher OTO, Web Crusher Reviews, Web Crusher Bonuses, Web Crusher Review and bonus, Web Crusher Reviews And Bonuses

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

Let’s Fix the Tampa Bay Lightning

Through two games of the Eastern Conference final, one team has plummeted into a 2-0 series hole by starting slow, struggling to muster anything resembling an attack at 5-on-5, and committing bone-headed mistakes from which there has been no hope of recovery.

And that team, somehow, isn’t the Washington Capitals.

The heavily favored Tampa Bay Lightning have had their asses thoroughly kicked on home ice and appear to be working off the blueprint the Capitals used in every postseason before 2018. Both games were mostly decided by easily avoidable late-period Lightning penalties that resulted in Caps power-play goals just before the horn.

After having these games handed to them on a silver platter, the Caps now know how the Pittsburgh Penguins felt facing them the past two years.

What makes this even more inexplicable is the Capitals have played both games without Nicklas Backstrom, and the Lightning were gifted a go-ahead power-play goal in Game 2 after a phantom high-sticking penalty. Yet the Caps have taken double-digit leads into the third period and coasted to the finish in both games.

Nothing about this series makes sense. Tom Wilson hasn’t even tried to kill anyone.

How can Tampa come back? Glad you asked, because a few simple adjustments are all that’s required for the Lightning to win four of five and restore order to the hockey universe.

1. Get this damn Chris Kunitz-Cedric Paquette-Ryan Callahan line off the ice

I’m no Hockey Man. I didn’t play for 14 years in the 1980s. So maybe this is just some hair-brained theory from an outsider, but try it on and see if you like it: you shouldn’t play shitty hockey players that often. It sounds crazy but I think the good hockey players should play more than the bad ones.

For reasons I do not understand, coach Jon Cooper decided he wants this Paquette line on the ice against the Capitals’ top line of Evgeny Kuznetsov, Alex Ovechkin, and Wilson. And in a way, Paquette’s line has done well by winning the shot-attempt battle at 5-on-5 since Cooper made this his preferred matchup.

But here’s the thing: Kunitz, Paquette, and Callahan suck. They have a combined 1 goal and 1 assist in 12 postseason games and that one goal by Callahan was an empty-netter. Maybe in the 1990s this was the sort of line that you’d stick on the ice against an elite unit but it’s a waste of time in 2018, especially when Kuznetsov’s line doesn’t need to dominate possession to score at 5-on-5 and Paquette’s line literally hasn’t scored a goal against a goaltender in more than a month.

In Game 2, Kunitz, Paquette, and Callahan played about 11:30 at 5-on-5. That trio should never be on the ice for more than 10 even-strength minutes a night when it’s never going to put a puck in the net. Caps coach Barry Trotz has to love it, because all those extra shifts for the Paquette line means fewer shifts for the heralded Ondrej Palat-Tyler Johnson-Brayden Point line or any of the other highly skilled players on the Lightning payroll. There’s no risk or worry for the Kuznetsov line against the Paquette line because no matter how much it tilts the ice, it’s never scoring.

Why would Cooper show faith in the Point unit against Boston’s Brad Marchand-Patrice Bergeron-David Pastrnak line after a slow start last round, but run from the matchup against Kuznetsov’s line this round? A dozen minutes of Paquette’s line means you’re attempting to play one-fifth of the game where the best-case scenario is a draw against Kuznetsov’s line.

It’s like Cooper is overthinking the absence of Backstrom and is attempting to exploit the Capitals’ Backstrom-less depth instead of just throwing his best players over the boards as often as possible. Now that the series is shifting to Washington where the Capitals have last change and Backstrom closer to returning, it’s possible Cooper has lost his best opportunity to take advantage of the situation.

2. Leave Andrei Vasilevskiy alone

Maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t think Vasilevskiy has been all that bad. Deflections, defensemen falling down, odd-man rushes and some bad luck have victimized him in the first two games. He shouldn’t trip guys and score on himself in the final seconds of periods to put his team down two goals but it’s hard to blame him for anything else.

If the Lightning stop treating the neutral zone like a stage for turnover-based performance art, everything else will fall into the place.

3. Ryan McDonagh needs to get his shit together

The trade-deadline acquisition that was supposed to solidify an already solid defense group has been terrible this round and spotty at times in the first two rounds. Victor Hedman, Anton Stralman, and the overused Dan Girardi have been getting killed at 5-on-5 by the Capitals too, but McDonagh was supposed to be a difference-maker playing behind Hedman. Instead, he’s been getting eaten alive by what constitutes the Caps depth.

McDonagh was the defenseman caught up ice on Devante Smith-Pelly’s goal that was laid mostly at the feet of J.T. Miller, but McDonagh jumped into a play at the end of a long shift and didn’t have the legs to get back defensively. McDonagh was also ineffective on the game’s first shift that led to Tom Wilson’s opening goal.

Maybe icing so many ex-Rangers wasn’t the best long-term plan after all.

4. Stop using “Pit of misery! Dilly Dilly!” when the other team is called for a penalty

The Nashville Predators and Lightning were the favorites to reach the Stanley Cup Final when the postseason started. The Predators were bounced in the second round and it’s not a coincidence they used that dumbass clip from the Bud Light commercial in their arena and were deservedly eliminated by Winnipeg.

Tampa uses the same stupid clip and proceeded to get destroyed by a Capitals team that had considered the third round a magical place like Narnia before this year. It may be too late, but if the series comes back to Tampa, knock off the “dilly dilly” shit.

5. Go back and read No. 1

I can’t emphasize that point enough. Play your top-nine forwards as often as possible. Don’t get caught up in that “playing physical” nonsense like it’s 1996. Heavy hockey is losing hockey. Just because NBC wants to run a “highlight” package involving Callahan and Kunitz blocking shots and throwing meaningless hits doesn’t mean you have to believe that crap.

Cooper sent Paquette’s line out there for an offensive-zone draw three times in Game 2, which is three times too many. If the Lightning can get out of their own way, they can get still win this series.

Let’s Fix the Tampa Bay Lightning syndicated from https://australiahoverboards.wordpress.com