#i loved doing this…but damn it was hard! 😥

[petite-phthora]

Please don't shake the cat

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 13]

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Part 1

Ao3

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Private chat nicknames:

RedHood = Jason

Danny = Danny

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Private chat

RedHood: *picture*

RedHood: this yours???

---

Seeing the picture of Ellie clamped onto Red Hood’s arm Danny lets out a sigh while rubbing his forehead. He takes a few seconds to look at the picture while deciding on how to reply.

---

Private chat

Danny: you don’t happen to be in Mexico right now by any chance, do you?

RedHood: No.

RedHood: I was out patrolling when I was suddenly bitten by her.

RedHood: Thought it might have been a criminal or stray cat or something like that at first.

RedHood: I was not expecting a feral teenager, but I can’t say this is the first time it’s happened.

Danny: damn, she was supposed to be in Mexico 😕😥

Danny: I guess this is what she was trying to tell me with that cryptic message she sent me huh

Danny: and the stray cat analogy isn’t too far off to be perfectly honest 🤔

RedHood: So you know her?

RedHood: Can you help me get her off? I’ve tried prying but she’s got some sick ass jaw strength.

RedHood: Which would have been pretty cool any other time, but it’s currently not really working in my favor.

Danny: I’m so sorry about her 😓 😓

Danny: we’ve been trying to teach her to ask for consent first

Danny: but it’s still a work in progress 😅

Danny: of course I'll help you get her off!! 😊🙃

RedHood: Great! You’re at your apartment, right?

RedHood: I’ll be there in two shakes.

Danny: please don’t shake the cat 😰

Danny: she’ll get grumpy and might latch on even tighter

Danny: I’ll come to you instead 🙃

Danny: you said you were patrolling, so crime alley, right? 🤔🤔

RedHood: Well, yes, but I doubt you’ll be able to get up where I am right now.

RedHood: Let me at least come down to the ground first and I’ll tell you how to get here.

RedHood: Danny?

---

Jason looks down at his unread messages with a slight frown. He puts his phone away and looks back at the teenager on his arm.

He gives his arm a small shake, causing her to growl at him which immediately makes him stop.

Right… No shaking the cat.

Jason lets out a weary sigh before looking down over the edge of the building to the ground below. He’s trying to think of the best way to get down with only one functional arm when a voice breaks him out of his reverie.

“Hey, Hood. I’m here!”

He turns around, slightly alarmed that there’s a second person who managed to sneak up on him tonight.

Damn, he’s getting rusty

Though from anyone whom he had been expecting to see, he had not been expecting to see the guy he messaged a minute ago standing behind him on the roof.

“How did you get here so quickly? And for that matter, how did you even get up here?” Jason asks confused.

“Oh, I flew” is Danny’s casual response, which gives Jason more questions than have been answered. But before he can decide whether he should bother asking for clarification Danny already moves on to the next topic.

“Anyway, let’s see what we can do about this,” he says, approaching Jason’s arm and the girl that’s hanging off of it.

“Good luck,” Jason says, holding out his arm a little better and watching bemused as Danny and the teen have a stare-down.

“Ellie, what did we say about biting others?”

The teen, Ellie, narrows her eyes and growls at him. Danny just crosses his arms and gives her an unimpressed stare.

“Nah-ah, you have to let him go. We ask before we bite someone. It’s called consent. Don’t make me get Jazz to give you another lecture”

It’s clear to Jason that Danny’s attempt at talking to her isn’t working when the teen proceeds to glance at Jason calculatingly before giving Danny a challenging look and biting down harder.

Apparently, it’s clear to Danny as well, as the next thing he does is let out a put-upon sigh before declaring “Well, I gave you a chance. Guess we’ll have to do this the hard way”

Danny then grabs a hold of her and tries pulling her off of him.

What is his life? Jason thinks as he’s standing there while Danny tries to physically pull the teenage girl, who decided his arm looked like a nice snack, off of him.

Though luckily for him, it seems to work as not a few seconds later Danny has pulled her off of his arm and is now holding the teenage girl with a bloody mouth up by her armpits.

Danny sets her down with a sigh but before he can speak up, the teen crosses her arms and levels Jason with a sharp look that makes him straighten up.

“Thou winneth this round, Red-Helmed Knight of the Night. Though thou should be prepareth, as the upcoming trials will be even more toilsome” Ellie declares while pointing at him, uncaring of the blood on her face.

“And I,” She points a finger back at herself for emphasis, ”Sir Ellie of the Infinite Realms, will—” she gets cut off when a fly enters her mouth.

Danny moves to help her but she holds up a hand to stop him, using her other hand to thump on her chest a few times.

She spits the dislodged fly out onto the floor and glares at it.

“Curse you! Foiling my monologuing once again!” she yells after the fly as it flies off.

Right…

Jason turns to Danny.

“So is she your sister?” he asks curiously. And totally not trying to fish for more information about Danny and his family.

Instead of Danny answering the question though, Ellie cuts him off.

“I’m his love child with the mayor of our town.”

Danny gives her a disgusted look.

“Ellie—”

She looks back at Danny with a shit-eating grin on her face.

Yeah, definitely siblings.

“I love my dads!” she says proudly, her eyes still on Danny.

Danny gives her a deadpan look in response before it changes to a more mischievous one.

“Oh, I’m sure Vlad would love to hear all about how you reclaimed him as a father figure—”

“Oh Ancients, no. Don’t even joke about that” She fake gags at him before turning back to Jason.

“Can I change my answer? I’m his bodyguard” She says, pointing her thumb at Danny.

That makes both Danny and Jason raise an eyebrow at her, though Jason’s can’t be seen through the helmet. They speak up at the same time.

“A bodyguard, huh?”

“No, you’re not, that’s Frighty”

Danny’s statement makes Jason pause and turn to look at him.

He’s got a bodyguard?

Ellie shakes her head happily.

“Nope! I took over the position. My knightly title isn’t just for show, y’know? I earned it fair and square!”

“When did this even happen? And why was I not told?” Danny asks, bewilderment covering his face.

Jason stays silent as he tries to make sense of the conversation.

“About…” Ellie takes a moment to think about it “3 months ago? I think it was when you were dealing with some time chores. And I thought it’d be a nice surprise, so… Surprise!” she exclaims, doing some jazz hands at the end of the sentence.

“What did you even do?”

“I snuck up on him and threw a Fenton Wii remote at his head which knocked him out cold. It counted as a win so I earned the position by right of conquest and gained my knighthood” She says with a shrug.

“Huh… think that would’ve worked for Pariah Dark as well? Would’ve made things so much easier…”

Ellie gives another careless shrug as Danny lets out a small reminiscent sigh. Meanwhile, Jason stands awkwardly to the side.

“Well, either way, I’m proud of you. Do you have a video?”

“Tucker filmed it for me, yeah”

“Nice”

They high-five with grins on their faces. At this point, Jason lets out a small cough which has the Fenton siblings turn around startled and proceed to then give him identical sheepish smiles.

They really look like they could be twins…

“Ah, sorry Red Hood. And again, I’m sorry for Ellie.” Danny says, rubbing the back of his neck with a small blush on his face.

“I’ll take her back home. And uhh… see you next time?”

Jason gives him a smile from under his helmet.

“Sure, if you’re still up for that next date?” Jason trails off with some hope.

His words make Danny’s blush darken.

“Ah uh, yeah! Yeah, of course! The next date! Uhmm, I’ll text you! Or you can text me. That’s fine too!”

Next to him, Ellie rolls her eyes and makes some fake gagging motions. She then grabs Danny by his arm and starts dragging him away.

“Come on, Loverboy. You can and your paramour can flirt later. When I’m not there… and after he’s passed my trials” she says, muttering the latter part low enough that Jason can’t hear. But, judging by the way Danny’s head snaps back to her and how his brows furrow, he did hear.

Just as Jason goes to reply, giving them a thank you and a goodbye of his own, perhaps even an offering to help them get down from the roof, he picks up on movement behind him.

Quickly turning around has him regretting not leaving the rooftop earlier, as he watches the Bats (and birds) land.

Fuck.

---

Taglist:

@i-always-say-yea   @uraniumwizard    @why-must-i-be-like-this   @griffinthing @i23432i @imsotiredfanficlovertm

[pinkmelodie]

First Miguel fic + 250+ follower special ୨୧

I’d like to start off by saying THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR ALMOST 300 FOLLOWERS !! And 2000+ notes?!? omg. I checked my inbox a few times and saw 99+ notifs every time, and when I tell you I SCREAMED. As a new writer I can’t thank you enough for all the notes and sweet comments ! I’m so grateful, so take this fic as a thank you <33

Warnings: Miguel is hinted to have slept with socks on which….is a trigger on its own apparently 😥, potentially botched ass Spanish……(no Google translate was used tho, my French teacher taught me better than that), p in v, making out, grinding, slight blood, reader has no chill nor filter but Miguels lowkey into it, degradation, bondage, banter, oral, praise, etc.

a/n: Takes place before the whole Miles incident !! I love Miguel but I can’t forgive him for doing that to my son 🤨🤨 This could also be imagined as König, since they’re both huge stubborn men <33

Pairing: Female reader x Miguel O’Hara 

Summary: Miguel is pent up and needs a release. Lucky for him, there’s a certain spider woman who’d do anything for him <3

Words: 4141 (DAMN I shocked myself w this)

. . .

Miguel runs his hand through his hair, grumbling when he feels it’s getting to a length that needs cutting again. Just another thing to add to his pile of responsibilities.

He pushes the fumbled blanket off to the side and lazily palms at his morning wood, finding the ministrations do little to help his raging hard-on. He’s shocked, mainly that he could still get one with how tense he’s been lately, but mostly that he’s actually annoyed that he has to jerk off. It feels like a chore to him now…though taking care of himself in any sense has since he became Spider-Man.

With a sleepy groan he drags himself up and to the bathroom. His mismatched socks are soft against the cool bathroom tiles where he turns on the shower. His muscles stretch when he tugs his white sweater over his head and tosses it onto the ground nearby, abs tensing and shoulders refusing to relax no matter how much stretching he did.

When the rest of his clothing join the heap on the floor he steps into the freezing cold shower, twitching at the icy droplets that felt like tiny icicles poking into his taut skin. 

He hoped the temperature would make the nuisance go down, but it raged on, standing proud at its full height. Miguel never thought he’d find himself glaring at his own dick, but here he was, horny and heavily pissed off. 

He reached down and tugged at his cock, rubbing his thumb over the angry red tip. He jerked profusely, yet all it did was leave him feeling unsatisfied and humiliated. 

“Fuck.” He cursed, washing his hand off before aggressively turning the knob to stop the flowing water. He tried to remember what he had to do today while pacing the bathroom, but he couldn’t focus with his erection clouding  his thoughts. Maybe if the blood would stay in his head…

He was an attractive guy, he knew that much. It would be easy to go out into the town and hook up with some stranger, but not so much so when he was in this constant sour mood. That sullen energy & resting bitch face paired with his looming height would scare any woman away.

Any sane woman.

You tied up the last of the criminals in your silky webs, smiling in victory. Unfortunately, the joy wasn’t long-lasting since as soon as you got home you felt boredom creeping up on you once again.

For weeks you’d been entertained by the intimidating founder of the spider society; Miguel O’Hara.You’d been bugging him for days on end, literally drooling at his feet and begging him to come back to your place.

He kicked you out multiple times, but like a cockroach you couldn’t be squashed—and neither could your need for him. You just couldn’t take a hint apparently. When he picked you up by the back of your suit and threw you back into your universe, all you focused on was how easily he carried you with just one of his big, veiny hands.

The way that suit hugged his defined chest so well, and his massive arms where you could see every vein…plus that prominent bulge? You were sunk.

He’d finally run out of patience for you when you ‘accidentally’ messed with the tech for his suit, almost making him go full commando in front of everyone in the spider society.(wouldn’t be the last time that happened…) He banned you for good, taking away your ‘multiversal gizmo’ without a second thought.

Your last words being ‘worth it!’ as you were flung back into your universe by the go-home-machine seemed like the icing on the cake to him despising you forever, but apparently that wasn’t the case because the man himself just appeared in your living room.

“Y/N.” He addressed nonchalantly.

You stared at him, jaw agape for a few moments before pinching yourself to see if you were dreaming. You had to be, he basically filed a restraining order against you. A really complicated, multiversal restraining order. Why  would he ever voluntarily come to you?

You couldn’t even respond since your throat felt so dry .. . It seemed your body had other ideas of where to soak.

“Why are you so obbsesed with me?” He suddenly asked, paying no mind to your awkward silence. 

“uhm-“

“I mean, you chased me around every day, eyed me down so intensively it was basically public sex and yet here you are, alone with me like you wanted, and now you’re speechless?” He stalked around your living room, circling you like a bird of prey.

You blushed up a storm and stood frozen in front of him, trying to discretely rub your thighs together.

He eyed you down, noticing your obvious ministrations but only chuckling. “Sometimes I had wished you were an actual spider so I could crush you under the soles of my shoes, but lately I’ve found myself feeling as horny and desperate as you.” He admitted with a smirk that revealed his sharpened fangs. 

That confession had your mind reeling to the point all you could muster up was; “I would’ve let you step on me regardless.”

His smirk grew and he started to approach you until his shadow covered you completely. You had to tilt your whole head up to look him in his glowing red eyes now—but you couldn’t handle making the eye contact anyway.

“You are just a small little thing, yet I didn’t expect you to be all bark no bite. All those filthy things you said lingered in my mind..don’t you want to take care of what you started?” He asked in a deliciously low voice. The almost mocking manner he said it in made you feel called out, and you looked down at your hands and picked at your nails to try and calm yourself.

A clawed finger tilted your head up by the chin and forced you to look into his eyes. How could you forget—in all your time spent basically stalking him you noticed how he never broke eye contact with anyone that he was speaking to. It was both exhilarating and intimidating to see, and you felt that full force while finally being on the receiving end of it. “Look at me when I’m speaking to you, arañita.” He ordered, and it sent tingles shooting up your spine.

You swore you heard your neck crack from how fast you looked up at him. He looked predatory staring down at you like that, eyes gleaming in the sunlight. “So? Will you finish what you started muñeca?” He asked, as if it was even a question to you.

“Fuck yes.” You agreed without missing a beat, making him chuckle darkly. “Needy thing.”

Before your mind could catch up you were suddenly being lifted by him and thrown on his shoulder with ease. He walked through the halls of your cozy apartment and waltzed into your bedroom without even searching for it, carelessly throwing you onto the bed.

You landed with a bounce on the soft comforter, feeling even smaller now with him standing above you. “Wha- how do you know where my bedroom is?” You asked when your brain finally decided to have a rational thought. 

“I’ve done my research—wanted to make sure you weren’t a spy. It was a waste of time, really, you’re just a horny stalker.” He shrugged.

You stared at him with an offended expression (tho it was 100% true) and went to argue until your lips were suddenly sealed by sticky red webs.

 “On your back.” He ordered. 

You crossed your arms at him first until he repeated the command in a low, dangerous voice. “Now.” Any defiance you had pretended to have quickly left your body and you laid down flat on the silk sheets.

He stalked over to you, all big and menacing as always. He leaned over you and forced your wrists together, twirling more glowing silk around them until they were bound above your head. 

He smirked down at you, leaning in to pepper kisses all over your neck. He sucked dark hickeys onto the sensitive skin of your throat, enjoying your muffled moans. While before he found your voice excruciating—he was now desperate to hear it crying out his name.

He stripped the webs off your mouth and you whined at the pain. The feeling resembled a bandaid being ripped off a fresh cut. He cooed pitifully above you and leaned in, whispering “Pobre araña, why don’t I kiss it better?” 

You nodded desperately until his lips met yours with a slight sting. He growled into your mouth, swirling his tongue around yours and exploring your mouth until you were squirming. He nibbled on your bottom lip, sharp canines threatening to break the skin. He pushed his muscled thigh between your legs and pressed down on your clit with his knee, the pressure making you moan under him. Your sweet sounds drove him wild, and he couldn’t help but bite down lightly on your lip until tiny droplets of blood dripped onto his tongue.

He groaned at the taste, his animalistic split-DNA going wild. When he pulled back—lips reddened, hair tussled and fallen slightly in front of his face— you couldn’t help but stare. His face looked so much more chiseled up close, cheekbones perfectly defined and a jawline sharper than the claws currently resting on your hips. 

His toned chest rose up and down steadily while he regained his breath, the familiar spider symbol on his suit growing bigger then smaller with each rise of his lungs like it was breathing. 

“Let’s take care of these, Cariño.” He addressed your clothing as if it were nothing but a nuisance for him before slicing your shirt right off you. He did this with ease, big claws moving onto your bottoms and clawing those off as well.

“Hey! Those were nice.” You pouted, though apparently he didn’t appreciate that comment because you were now being tied up even worse than before. Webs spewed from his wrist and circled your body like serpents, tying around your waist, arms, and thighs. “Don’t be a brat.” He ordered, webs tightening in warning. Once satisfied, he admired the way they looked pulled taut against your soft skin. “Red looks lovely on you, amor.” He praised, a quick switch from his previous comment.

He lifted you and reached behind your back, unclasping your bra with one hand. He threw it onto the ground somewhere with your torn up clothes, focusing his attention on your soft tits.

He hummed in content, playing with your nipples and letting his webs circle around the soft flesh of your breasts. He licked and sucked at one while tugging on the other, making you moan and squirm under him.

“Fuck Miguel- ah! more!” You whined desperately, coaxing a chuckle out of the behemoth. 

“Such a desperate slut.” He tutted, sucking marks all over your chest to match your throat. He kissed over the already forming hickeys, grazing his teeth dangerously close to your jugular. This man was massive, and made of pure muscle like a Greek god. He could easily hold you down without the help of his webs, but he wanted to focus full attention on you. 

He finally moved down to where you needed him most, going to rip your panties straight off you before you rudely slammed your thighs shut. “You take off your suit first….” You whined, embarrassed at being nearly completely nude before him while he was still covered. He was genuinely offended by this, feeling like he’d just had a door slammed on his face, yet he grumbled and messed around with his watch until the hologram started to dissipate.

Your jaw dropped wider and wider the more you took him in. The man resembled a skillfully carved statue belonging to Olympus itself. His biceps and abs were enough to challenge even Ares himself. Your eyes trailed lower and lower, leisurely mapping him out until your eyes locked on the weapon between his legs.

His dick stood loud and proud against his toned stomach, and it was massive. The man is 6,9, you knew he’d be big, but this thing was around 9 inches and looked like it could rip you in half. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from it even if you tried—I mean—the thing was basically introducing itself to you. We’re talking hello, how are you and goodbye.

Miguel basked in your ogling, his ego swelling more than it already had since he first noticed your obsession with him.

You finally snapped out of your trance when he bent down and slipped off your soaked panties, kissing up your leg as he did so. You spread both your legs for him and he took that as an invitation to lean in and lick a stripe up your wet cunt. You jumped, not expecting him to get into it so quickly, but you definitely didn’t complain.

He prodded a finger at your hole and pushed it in slowly, holding your hips down with his free hand. He made sure to be mindful of the claws adorning his fingertips since they wouldn’t go back down thanks to his clouded mind. The thick digit went in without much resistance thanks to how wet you were, until he pushed in a second and started scissoring them. 

You moaned and whimpered at the stretch, two of his thick fingers the size of nearly four of yours. He pumped them in and out quickly, the slick sounds your pretty hole made for him music to his ears. Your slick dripped down his ring and middle fingers that he was ruthlessly pumping inside you and dribbled down his veiny forearm.

He massaged your walls and pushed against them, scissoring his fingers to stretch you as much as possible. He couldn’t hit your g-spot thanks to his clawed fingertips, so he sucked at your clit to fill that extra stimulation until your head was rolling back. 

Something circled your waist and you figured it was his arm until you looked back down to see more webs. You would wriggle far too much without them, and he needed his other hand to spread your folds to drag a mix of his salvia and your slick around your twitching clit. You mewled at the overwhelming stimulation, bucking onto his face while he had a full on make out sesh with your pussy.

Only when he finally sunk four fingers into you and you were basically on the brink of tears with need did he pull away. Not without blowing on your sensitive clit, of course, just to see you twitch and squirm under the unrelenting grasp of his webs.

He stood up with a playful smile, freeing you from some of the webs just to pull you to the edge of the bed. Your ass met his pelvis with a slap when he yanked you by the ankle that quickly locked around his waist. He chuckled out something in Spanish that you didn’t understand, maybe along the lines of “Qué bonita putita…”. You didn’t bother to question it when he started to grind his rock hard dick on your drooling pussy, getting him all nice and wet to push into you. 

Only when he was coated completely in your essence did he listen to your pleas and finally line his fat tip up at your hole. Even with the all the stretching, your poor cunt had to stretch to accommodate the swollen red tip. His pre-cum mixed with your juices when it finally popped in after some resistance, and he groaned at the warm feeling.

“So fucking tight, your poor pussy can’t take it, hm? You were so confident when you were begging for it like a desperate whore.” He growled, degradation making you clench Impossibly tighter around his head until he had to bite back a groan.

“Please Mig, I can take it.” You begged, rutting your hips onto him and trying to coax him deeper until he swiftly grabbed your waist. His claws dug into your skin, threatening to break through. He pulled back and you immediately assumed he was going to tease you again for being desperate. 

Straight away you whined out apologies, stumbling over your words and pleas until he suddenly slammed back inside you, cramming 5 of his solid inches into your hole. You screamed, tears brimming on your waterline at the stretch. Your back arched off the bed and you squirmed away from the sting until he pulled back and rutted back in again, almost as if testing the waters.

With every drag of his hips his cock slowly got deeper into you until he was bottomed out completely. His tip kissed against your cervix and you looked down, amazed and horrified to see him crammed inside you so snugly. He gave you a moment to compose yourself—preoccupied on the bulge in your lower stomach. 

“My good girl, fitting around me so perfectly. That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” He teased, dick twitching at the fucked out moan you gave in response.

It definitely was hard, yet his dick was harder. You could feel every single vein and ridge pressing into you, rubbing against your gummy walls in a way that left you drooling. You suddenly understood why he’d prepped you for so long. It wasn’t just to tease you, this just was not an easy thing to take. 

“Move,” you pleaded, correcting youself when he raised an eyebrow, “please.”

He hummed, palming at the fat of your hips to see the way your skin sunk under his touch. “I don’t know Cariño…do you really deserve this dick?” 

You gave him your best “are you for real?” face. This man was not about to make you beg when he was the one to randomly show up in your home. You’d been begging on your knees for him for months, and now he chooses to acknowledge it?

You made it your personal mission to go against everything he’s ever ordered from you, and the grind never does stop, does it?

“Like you deserve to kiss my ass?” You jest without hesitation. 

You can see the way his whole face stretches; clearly dumbfounded at your response before he’s able to compose himself. With your cunt wrapped around him so tight and warm like that, it’s easy to forget the pretty spider underneath him is a little rascal.

“You were just whining a second ago, don’t try that,” He warned. “You’ve been begging for it for months, practically humping my leg in front of the entire Arachno-Humanoid-Poly-Universe.” 

You groaned at his insistence on calling it that, even while balls deep inside you. “I didn’t sign up to fuck a geek,” you mutter.

“With the way you approached me I’m sure you’d fuck just about anyone, puta.”

You wanted to be insulted, but your words caught in your throat when he leaned close to you to whisper right into your ear; “Quit acting like you had any dignity in the first place and beg.”

His warm breath on your nape left you shivering. Miguel wasn’t human—not completely. With DNA mixed with a spiders, he was a predator; one ready to devour you whole.

It wasn’t a surprise to anyone really when you gradually let quiet pleas spill from your mouth. Miguel had half the mind to make you speak up, but he was loosing his thin amount of patience as is. With a satisfied click of his tongue, he pulled back until his flushed head was right at your entrance “see, was that so hard?”

You knew better than to try and answer at this point when he rammed his cock back into you. Huge hands gripped your thighs and pushed your legs into your chest while he bullied his dick further and further into your cunt. 

Your pussy was embarrassingly loud for him, squelching with each brutal thrust of his hips. His muscled thighs were tense with the pure strength he put into slamming into you—beating your sensitive pussy in until it memorized his shape for life. 

“Mig- ah! Holyfuck!” You screamed, draping your arms over his shoulders and scratching at his back like a cat post.

“Go on princesa, mark me up.” He encouraged and got a better grip on your thighs, pushing your legs out to a full spread. He had you displayed like a dinner feast and bent you like a lawn chair with your lower half on his toned chest. He was actually impressed at your flexibility, yet like always he chose the worst way to phrase it.

“I’m shocked, I never expected you to do any real training.” 

“Fuck you.”

“That’s what you’ve been wanting, is it not?” He gloated with such a shit-eating expression that you just had to wipe off his face. He sunk deeper into you when you pulled him in for a kiss and it had you clenching around him.

His thrusts got more erratic until your mind was clouded with only the sounds of his dick disappearing into your cunt. His hands were dragging you back onto him by the hips at the same time, so you could feel him bumping against your cervix with each thrust.

You were too fucked out to say anything other than broken moans and mewls of his name, and he wasn’t too far off.

“So pretty Cariño,” he groaned, “all for me? mierda- yeah, all for me.”

A string of loud mewls along with shameless moans poured out of your bruised lips in response. He pounded your pussy with so much vigour that you edged forward on the ruffled mattress with each rough thrust.

He massaged your throbbing clit between his fingers, laughing at the way they kept slipping around from how much of your own arousal was dripping down your cunt. Heavy balls slapping against your soft skin filled your ears when you felt that coil in your stomach start to snap.

“Pussys gripping me like a fucking vice- you gonna cum for me?” he teased, “look baby- look at how well this sweet little pussys taking me.”

He took your hand and lead it down until it was tracing the prominent bump in your stomach - You could feel every brutal thrust and see the way he ravaged your insides. You pressed down on it, getting impossibly tighter around him and the broken moan he let out was what got you.

He quickly tore a mind-numbing orgasm out of you - thick cockhead still splitting you open while he worked your clit. You soaked his cock and squeezed against it, shaking and crying under him until you could barely take it anymore. 

He smiled in pride, sharp fangs showing and making him resemble the waiting mouth of a shark. “Such a good fucking girl, coming all over me like that. Look at the mess you’ve made,” he hummed, observing the noticeable white ring you left around the base of his cock. 

His thrusts stuttered before stilling completely inside you. He made a noise akin to an animal before spilling his hot cum inside your welcoming heat with a shudder and a broken moan.

“Mfhm- mierda.. .” He cursed, his warmth filling you up so much it started to spill out.

You felt like a rag doll under him, half-asleep and smiling dumbly up at him. He chuckled and admired one last time how pretty you looked in his glowing red webs, wrapped around you like his own custom lingerie. 

He sliced them off you and smiled warmly when you raised your arms out to him. He leaned in to let you wrap your arms around his massive shoulders with your legs now wrapping around his waist.

He picked you up with you curled into him like a koala - the warm sensation of his cum dripping down your connected bodies grounding you while he walked to your bathroom. 

He pressed soft kisses to your marked up-neck while he ran a warm bath, rubbing at the indents his claws subconsciously left on your hips. 

You didn’t remember exactly when you fell asleep; somewhere between when his large hands washed the cum off your skin or when he gently laid you down on your fresh bedsheets. 

All you knew was that you woke up to the smell of clean laundry and noticed snacks and a water bottle left on your nightstand. There was a note too that you had to reach over to grab. His handwriting was smudged but fancy, and it was so adorably him that it left you smiling ear to ear. 

“Had to leave early. Meet me in my office tomorrow and we’ll discuss how you’ll be living in my universe from now on ,seeing as how you’re now mine, mi vida.” 

. . .

[respectthepetty]

Who do you think are the best actors in gmmtv?

Oh Cheez Whiz on a cracker, what kinda ask is this, Anon?! Do you know what you have requested from me? The impossible! But I'm gonna make it possible with some strict criteria:

It has to be GMMTV's current roster, so actors like Singto and Toptap are out (😩)

I'm only choosing from the male squad because if I get the ladies involved, it'll never end so no Jan and Aye (😥)

They must have acted in at least three BLs under GMMTV, so people like Mond and Perth are out (😪)

I'm not touching on if they are problematic because I'm trying to be like Jesus's mom and forgive triflin' heifers

I'm capping it at ten because . . . damn, this is gonna be hard

Know that if this list wasn't exclusive to GMMTV, it would be only one name - MaxTul

Okay, so working within these parameters, here are the actors I think are the crème de la crème of GMMTV in no particular order:

Ohm Pawat

This man can do it all, and then some. He was in 2016's Make It Right which is required BL watching, he matched Singto's energy in He's Coming to Me, and he has my entire dash in a frenzy again over Bad Buddy.

Gun Atthaphan

He has played multiple characters, at once, three times now, so at this point, he could be the entire cast of a show if GMMTV wasn't a coward. He is beautiful yet scrappy, and I truly believe he could beat any of these other men acting-wise and physically. In a street fight, my money would be on him every time.

First Kanaphan

My babygirl only serves the best performance each and every time he is on the screen. 2022 finally gave him the spotlight he so rightfully deserves with Not Me (where he played with Gun) and The Eclipse, but he held down the wacky plot of The Shipper against Ohm back in 2020, and had me rooting for him, the square, in Moonlight Chicken. Stay hydrated, babe!

Sing Harit

The Warp Effect and 3 Will Be Free added together equal one BL, so he has done more than the requirement, really, and he has been doing it almost a decade since 2014's Love Sick! Watch this man be a puppy in The Warp Effect, then play Todd in Not Me and tell me why a guy with this range hasn't been a main lead?! I DEMAND ANSWERS!

Neo Trai

Neo is a mini Sing. He played a clown so well in Cause You're My Boy where he was a love interest to Phuwin only to play his clown brother in Fish Upon the Sky, and played another clown in Tonhon Chonlatee. So when he got serious in The Eclipse, he demanded my attention. He played two different characters in Vice Versa, and now he is about to enter his villain era in Only Friends. He kills every role he is in, and I'm sure him and his abs will kill me and my mutes by the end of the year.

Fourth Nattawat

This baby got in by the skin of his teeth based on his two-minute moment in Bad Buddy. I'm counting it because he deserves to be here. He acts with his entire physical body. When Uncle Jim told his character not to be poor AND a homo in Moonlight Chicken, Fourth's whole demeanor captured exactly how the audience felt. I can't wait to see what this tiny toddler does next.

Khaotung Thanawat

I cannot write about this man and be rational. Just know he is pretty AND talented. I was rooting for him in A Tale of Thousand Stars and Moonlight Chicken, yet I don't even think they were actual possibilities. Once he starts to tear up, it's game over for these hoes. Cause understand, if Khaotung is acting in it, I'm supporting his character's rights and wrongs. BRING ME ONLY FRIENDS RIGHT NOW!

Fluke Pusit

I've already stated my case for him, but let me recap the highlights: he kisses like his energy is restored with each lip touch, and he has kissed the most GMMTV's boys. He has acted well in even his smallest roles, so I remember him each time, and he carried his weight against Ohm and First in The Shipper. He has chemistry with anyone, and it's by high time he got a lead. The Warp Effect was sooooo close = Sing x Fluke, anyone?

Mark Pakin

Look at at our man's resume: I Promised You the Moon, Bad Buddy, My School President, Moonlight Chicken, and The Warp Effect. Oh, and he is an actual world badminton champion. The directors I trust with my life, Jojo and Aof have each used him TWICE (Only Friends loading), and Aof is about to get him a third time in Last Twilight. He is being paired twice with Neo to prove they can hold their own against the OGs OffGun in Cooking Crush, which I have faith that they will exceed expectations. This man does not miss. Never. Not ever. Not fucking once.

Nanon Korapat

Nanon may be a nepo baby, but nobody puts baby in the corner. This man can ACT, and he isn't afraid to look ugly doing it. The way his face contorts to show every single emotion as he is feeling it should be studied. The way he moves his neck, hands, and overall body to exude his character's thoughts is marvelous. Oh, and The Gifted? That series was gay solely because Nanon decided to make it gay. That's powerful acting.

Bonus round: Because they aren't technically under GMMTV, but I love older men who have done their duty.

Nat Sakdatorn

Daddy. Sexually and figuratively. He played in 2016's Fathers about two gay men trying to raise their child in a country with no legal protections for queer folks, then he played Chopper's dad in Never Let Me Go. I want to see Perth act against him again because their emotions show on their faces so well, but first I want to see him kiss another man like Friend Zone or 609 Bedtime Story. However, if I'm being honest, I just simply want him to take off his clothes again like in Mama Gogo. God, this man is fine. Oh, and he can act.

Kob Songsit

I can only see him as Kinn's manipulative ass father in KinnPorsche, but Kob has been acting for 34 years, and played in the queer staple The Love of Siam. He has played supportive fathers in Until We Meet Again, Chains of Heart, Don't Say No, and the ongoing Be My Favorite, and he played the older gay version to younger Khaotung's character in 55:15 Never to Late. He has gone on the record stating that he wants to show people being gay is okay and being SUPPORTIVE of the queers should be the norm. He earns his paycheck every damn day. Thank you for your service, sir!

I gave you a dozen amazing actors, but I would love to know who some of y'all consider the best of the best and why.

And also, remember, if my back is up against a wall, and I had to answer . . .

MAXTUL!

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: Divorce, addiction

It was a Friday, October 13th to be exact. Daniel and I are getting a divorce today. After weeks, he finally signed the divorce papers. I was devastated. It was so hard for me to take this step. But I had to finish it, for my Baby and also for myself, to finally forget Daniel. We met near the city hall, where we had an appointment with a divorce-case officer and judge.

Once there, I saw Daniel coming towards me. I honestly didn’t want to divorce him. I loved him, still, so much. 😥But... that's just the way life is. 😞... He looked at me... I wanted to hug him but instead I just said sadly, hi. Daniel seemed absent for a moment, staring at my belly. 🩵👶

He had this... empty look. Not sad or angry, rather.... emotionless.

With my eyes lowered, I just stood there. I struggled to hold back my tears. Exactly a year ago we moved together. I was so happy with him and now this. 😞

Me: I'm so sorry. I never wanted this! And I still don’t want it. I wish we could just go home together.

Daniel: Same, but...let's not get into that now. Relax and think about your Baby.

Me: What?

Daniel: It's gonna be okay. Trust me.... C'mon, let’s get this over with.

Me: Yea,,...whatever you say. 😞

Um.... well! Daniel and I didn’t get divorced today. The judge asked us why we wanted to divorce? D.'s & my statements left some question marks with the judge, I think? We have to wait six months, before we get divorced.... Daniel said that my jealousy (Tina, Irma...) & insecurity were the biggest probs for him in our relationship.😠... However, the real reason for postponing our divorce was bcs Daniel inherited Dominick’s plot & house. (division of property) Although I refused any claim to Daniel’s property!!

Me: Did you really, seriously mean what you said to them?

Daniel: I answered all questions honestly.

Me: Why didn’t you just give the real reason for our divorce? You took off!!! I didn't know where you were!! And my Baby isn't yours. This fact is the reason for our divorce! You can't handle that I'm pregnant. Or that we are both addicts, which would have been a good reason why we can’t stay together! 🤦‍♀️

Daniel: The juge asked me WHY, I left! You got it?.... You and my borther, your secrets drove me crazy. That fucking shit about Tina. I was overwhelmed with my shit, our drugs you and your delusions. I kept trying to make you happy! I only loved you and I only wanted you. But you just didn’t believe me. Be honest, it wasn’t my fault, just yours!! You don’t know what you want! And you can’t make decisions! But I’m not like N.! I don’t want to tell you what to do or how to live your life. You are responsible for yourself! Finally get it, or just stay with your soccer player and let him control you.

Me: What kind of shit are you talking?? Nico doesn’t do any of this to me.

Daniel: I talked to him! He said, you won’t be the same after he’s done with you. He told me this to my face!! And btw, I can’t stand Alex calling you Lexi!! 😠

Me: You must have misunderstood N. He isn't like that! He was just upset, bcs I confessed what I wanted from you the other day. Besides, you’re jealous too!!! Anyway.... I-.. I just can’t stand it around you anymore. And I’m sorry I was so jealous. I loved you so much. I wanted to do anything for you. I was terrified to lose you. I’m sorry. Sorry I was such a freak to you. But I didn’t do anything wrong with your brother, D.!! There was NOTHING between Alex and me!! IDK how many times I’ve had to say this damn sentence. Finally get it!....

Me: It hurts so much and it just doesn’t stop.... I don’t want to love you anymore. I wish you’d never married me. 😢

Daniel: Damn, I-... I'm sorry. I still struggle with that... stress disorder. Either I feel nothing-... or I boil with rage.🤦‍♂️

Me: It's ok.. I'm leaving.... See you in 6 moths. And.. stay off drugs, just... take care, Daniel. 😢

Daniel: Wait!

Me: I gotta go. Sorry. Bye!.... 😭

Daniel: I-...... love you.

I just wanted to get away from there. Far away from.... him.💔 Not really, but.... agh, you know what I mean. And I’ll see Daniel again sooner than I thought. Right after delivery. It was about that annoying name change. D. and I were officially still married, but I didn't want to give my Son his surname. D. is not his Dad, but N. Such a mess!!

Previous/Next

[desertfangs]

How do you think Daniel would realise he had the fire gift, if he ever develops it?

Since I imagine him returning to writing at some point, I think there is a distinct possibility that writer's block or some similar frustration could lead to the paper or computer just bursting into flames 🔥 (thankfully anywhere he stays has a very robust fire suppression system, but now everything is wet 😥)

Oh my god, I am so glad you asked. this!

First, like.. Marius discovering he has the Fire Gift is PEAK COMEDY. You all probably know but in case you forgot this amazing moment, basically Marius is being set upon by two immortals, and he reaches for a lantern hoping to burn them, and then as he's wishing he could set them on fire, one of them bursts into flame! And Marius stares horror-struck, realizing that he made that happen with his mind.

Like, just imagine you don't even know that's possible and suddenly you've set someone on fire with the power of your desire to do so. Incredible!

But I digress.

Our boy Daniel will hopefully get the Fire Gift! Because damn that would save on lighters. And how cool would he feel if he could spark a flame on his finger and light a cigarette that way? He'd do that party trick every chance he got, Armand rolling his eyes behind him and reminding him to try and blend in, while the mortals around think it's just some cool magician's illusion.

I love the idea of him discovering this skill as he's trying desperately to get words on the page (I do think he will get back into writing at some point!) and then the fire alarms go off and the room is soaked. That's an amazing mental image of soggy, downtrodden Daniel, frustrated and then amazed at his own power, only to have it literally washed out immediately.

I do wonder if Daniel tests his powers every so often. I would imagine Marius had him test them after he recovered from his illness, probably taking him out into the jungle to see if he could fly or set a tree on fire, things like that. Out of curiosity, mostly, because both of them probably did wonder. I kind of like to imagine he still occasionally checks to see if he can do things other vampires can do, to kind of see where he stands.

But if he does develop the Fire Gift between these little tests, and he doesn't discover it from the sheer frustration of writer's block--a pain so many of us know all too well--I would love to think it happens during a fight with Armand.

Like they're arguing over something silly, and it escalates, because it always escalates, and Armand is being intentionally obtuse, twisting Daniel's words and acting like him wanting to go to Germany for a concert or something means he doesn't love him anymore, you know how they get. And then suddenly Daniel's rage hits a boiling point and the curtains behind Armand burst into flame. And they're both so stunned that the fight ends and Armand makes him do it again, and then the sprinklers go off or the room fills with fire suppressant and then they're both laughing so hard that they can't breathe. 🔥🔥

That would be so amazing, to be honest.

[dymttz]

Maggot mommy seems to be the stereotype of toxic woman (And I love that, damn it! 😩 ) her jealousy would be sick as fuck (a demon lol) we're not talking about a common relationship here, we're talking about involvement with a possessed person, the demon has a hard nature to live with. Let's continue with my idea of that posting about what would happen if you were smelling unknown. Imagine that instead of her fucking and score like there's no tomorrow she'd be crazy (Much more than the common) and it was in your direction in a way that says I'll rip your members out of course we'd panic when remember what her nature and the bodies you saw when came to the building out of curiosity.

Ellie would realize your panic and stop moving animally (I like to think she still has a human side even though she knew she'd kill us like rats) so that pause made by her would be your chance to run, you didn't even stop to think about why she just stopped, the fear that the situation generated you blind. You'd leave the building and go home, spend hours thinking about whether it was a mistake or not leaving her without giving explanations, but for the sake of your mental health (we don't have 🥴) You'd stop thinking about that and go to sleep, tomorrow is another day!

(Now we'll think outside the box) Days would pass, you avoid going to the building afraid of the consequences of your previous behavior and not going to visit Ellie (I would never do that, she's much to overcome 😩) So you make a decision for your good (Burro, if I may say) from not go to the building anymore, you fear for your life. Your life would be like before, very boring without your red-haired deaditis, but damn it, it was your choice to leave everything in the past. But do you think Maggot mommy would just let you go like this?

The Deadite would go after you, smell you like a goddamn hell dog, of course he'd find you, even left a message on your wall (Lovely) And when you came home after a tiring day of work feels the familiar old blood odor, that already causes a tremor on your spine. So after searching the house something dead you come across your wall stained with something red you'd rather imagine that it's paint even though you know it's not, the message wasn't a threat but it was short enough for you to know it wasn't a request.

It was a simple "go back", but it was enough to get you to take your keys and go towards the building, back to the place you should never have left, back to who you never should have left behind.

@lilith6909 I'm sorry, I don't think I focused on what you wanted. 😥

English is not my language, this makes the text confusing. sorry guys.

[pleasetakethis]

Episode 4 is my favorite so far. Live blogging thoughts beneath the cut.

FUCK YES S1 GAMORA'S STORY. This immediately makes up for my ep 3 mehs.

FUCK YES 2012 AVENGERS TONY.

THE GRANDMASTER, YES <3

TONY'S RELIEF UPON SEEING PEPPER. MY HEART.

Tony saying he put his party days behind him--again, MY HEART.

Only 4 mins into the ep and all I can think is that the writers are doing a damn good job with this Tony.

Valkyrie!!!!!!! MY LOVE, YAS!

Tony saying the following to GAMORA, of all characters, got me in the feels: "Victory? Glory? People died. I lost a friend. Do you know what it's like to see your home world destroyed? Almost brought to its knees by a madman?"

TONY HEARING THE GRANDMASTER SAY HE WASN'T A HERO BUT A NASTY MAN AND THEN TONY NOT ZAPPING GAMORA!!!!!!!!

SDKFJALDJSFSALDJFLAJDF

I LOVE THIS EP. LOVE.

Tony & Valkyrie kicking ass together is a vibe <3

BAMF Gamora <3 yasssss

Tony building shit <3 with a lil fuzzy critter on his shoulder <3

...how does Tony know campground rules 🤨 Howard did not take him camping. My first thought was Rhodey, but I bet it was Jarvis. FEELS. 😥

Grandmaster calling Gamora a moppet of Thanos and finishing that exchange with "Daughter, really? [scoffs] Sure, I'll stick to that story, too," was fucking brutal. Fantastic writing here, too, showing Gamora outside perspectives on her father and their relationship.

I want to give a huge fucking hug to whoever wrote this Tony because I love him. 100% spot on for what I'd expect from 2012 Tony after surviving, realizing Pepper was safe, and figuring out he might be able to get home. No perving, no giving into hedonism--only righteous anger for others being treated badly. Respecting and trusting and bonding with the individuals he meets <3 Tony's so charismatic and this is showcased perfectly. AND ACKNOWLEDGING HIS DADDY ISSUES AND TRYING TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE WITH THEIR OWN?? I JUST. MY. HEART.

Jeff Goldbum has so much fun with Grandmaster and it shows <3

The feels when Gamora gave Tony her name <3

King Valkyrie of Sakaar, yassssss.

Tony needing to get home to Pepper... AGAIN, MY HEART.

Tony and Gamora bonding and having each other's backs and taking down Thanos??? FUCK YES.

I loved this ep. As a Tony fan, this ep went HARD and it did not have to do that but it did and I just. jfdlajsflajsd. FLAILS, FEELS, ALL THE THINGS.

[lqfiles]

bro ngl haechan is a little bitch😭😭😭 and renjun is for sure a freak like they both need therapy desperately😵‍💫 but jaemin better learn how to shut his door and keep track of his damn cats like how hard can it be😥😥

the story is so good so far tho🫡 love everything you do🩵

IN CONCLUSION EVERYONE IS AN ISSUE 😭😭 it’s a miracle that y/n is able to tolerate all this like you have jaemin’s shenanigans, yangyang who won’t stop requesting her twitter account, haechan (enough of an explanation) and renjun’s craziness, THIS IS WHY MEN SUCK 😭💔 BUT THANK YOU THO i hope the rest of the story will be good too and AAAAGHHHH i love you thank you again

[yaka-arrow]

I feel so bad for Yondu to think about how guilty he must have felt after learning what Ego did to the children that he helped deliver 😥 Also will I ever stop being obsessed with his little talk with Rocket?? "I know who you are boy because you're ME" 😭😭😭

The way I will holler about Yondu until my dying breath, like!! I loved him in vol1 but vol2, it was all downhill from there. Got me #obsessed.

Like...you've got this man, twenty years a battle slave, he's clearly fresh into the whole free will thing, throwing his lot in with the Ravagers - even for a bunch of rough'n tumble mercs, they've got a code, a guideline, some sense of morality that comes before units. Not dealing with kids is pretty bare minimum, but clearly, some lines aren't meant to be crossed.

But also - you're newly freed, you've got all this trauma surrounding your own thoughts on families, and you've got a man who's had millennia to learn how to manipulate 'lesser' lifeforms, swearing up and down that he's not out to hurt his own kids, he just wants 'em home. Like...at that point, it's not dealing in kids. It's doing the right thing, bringing them home to their daddy, where they'll be wanted and cared for, shit you never had growing up. The units? That's just a bonus. Fuel costs, cuts for the ship and crew, and yeah, padding your own accounts, Yondu might be doing a good deed, but he's not running a charity here.

Finding out? Learning what happened to them? Sucker punch to the gut. All that sentiment going into taking these jobs, letting that cloud his decisions and leading him off the code - is it any wonder that Yondu pulled such a hard turn on letting anything soft guide him along?

(And I will always wonder how he found out, and beyond that, how Stakar found out. Don't get me started on that relationship because omg.)

His talk with Rocket though, man. Like Yondu!! You ain't as slick as you think, that takes a degree of emotional intelligence that you can't take back. He read Rocket like a fuckin' book - and he does the same damn thing with Peter in vol1.

I love that stupid blue asshole, he's such a wonderful, flawed character.

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Untitled

This has been a strange week, A. I mean you know I have to talk to you today on my break at work (taking at least 2 today because it's sloooooow).

The Boy wrote his English 101 Dual Credit essay about you this week. He warned me.

"Mom, I have to write about 'an experience that made me appreciate life.' I'm gonna write about A dying. I really can't think of writing about anything else that won't come out sounding like bullshit. I still need you to look at it before I turn it in, because you're a writer and it makes me feel better when you say it's not shit, even though it comes with the Mom Discount. But I know it might like...upset you."

Of course I told him to write about you. I told him I wanted to read it (truth). I told him to actually print out a copy because I don't want it lost to the ethereal, nebulous world of online-only assignments; it's something my son made to honor my best friend. I want to save it forever. I want it immortalized (also truth). But it was fucking hard to read it. He took it hard when you died, and I knew he did before reading his school work (obviously), but Christ, how connected the two of you are. The locket J got me connects everyone in the center but you and the Boy are connected on a hinge side, and that locket pops open on that hinge at work all the time. So I'll look down and have to close it back up, and every time it's you and my son looking back at me. It's never you and my grandparents or J and my son, or J and my grandparents. It's always you and the Boy. You helped him so much. I want you to know that. He turned it in yesterday after titling it. 'Loss and Acceptance.' It's hard to title things. Especially when you write something important to you; something difficult to say; something attached to a lot of complex feelings. That's why my essay is untitled.

Then last night I sat on the couch with J and he cried watching a YouTube video of a BBC news capture of Jon Bon Jovi (right?) LITERALLY talking someone off a ledge in Nashville, Tennessee where he was shooting a music video. J cried. He leaves for his bike trip with W and the boys tomorrow morning. So this conversation happened:

Me: You ok? 🥺

J: 🥺😥 (hands over his phone with the video restarted; it was moving, but it didn't make ME cry)

Me: I'm lost. 🫤 I don't know what's getting to you this much. Text me? (J and I often text each other when our bodies are literally touching. Sometimes it's easier to not say it out loud).

J: (both of us are texting now) I dunno, peaches.

Me: Do you feel like...that? (that = suicidal) 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

J: No. Just got to me how many people walked on by.

Me: He didnt. ❤️🥹

J: Yeah. ❤️

Me: Is the stuff with your dad getting to you more than you're telling me? I don't want you to go off Saturday morning feeling so down. ❤️

J: I feel guilty about going. 🫤

Me: Why? Won't lie. I don't like it when you're away, but I want you to go see your friends. W. Fuck, I'd give everything I have except you and the Boy for a week with A right now.

J: That's kind of why. If I don't go, what if something happens to W before I get another chance to see him? Or me even? I'd feel like shit. So I have to go. But I'm leaving you and the Boy. And fucking G. That damn dog. Because what if something happens to one of us while I'm away? I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Me: We're fine. I promise. We just like having you around. Go be with W because...damn I really would give anything to be with A. For even an HOUR.

J hugged me until we all left the living room for bed. We made love last night before we went to sleep. And I dreamed all night about you. That you weren't really dead (again). Everywhere I went, when J was away on this trip, you were with me. 'I can't believe we're at a sushi place right now,' you'd say. 'What the fuck am I supposed to eat here?! Boy used to be on my side. What happened to pizza, man? Your mother finally infected you with her adventurous eating...' I'd look around at family dinner at my parents' house without J and you'd be there. Literally saying, 'I'm still here.'

I fucking miss you so bad. J has never gone away without you being there to text me off my metaphorical ledges and now you're not. Now I'm left with a bunch of people who will just pass me by. I'm so fucking ragingly envious of J that he gets a week with his best friend while I'm so desperately missing mine. I know the dream is supposed to be that I DO get a week with my best friend. That it's somehow 'better' in a way because you'll be right next to me, even in places you'd never ever go with me alive, but I still don't want you to be dead. I'd trade this intangible constancy even at the sushi joint for sporadic texts and bad Pearl Jam jokes in a heartbeat. I'd trade no sushi ever for pizza once a year with you. I'd certainly trade a visit to the fucking cemetery every few weeks to seeing you in person one more time, period. I'd still rather all of this be fake and you're not really even dead, just orchestrating a supremely elaborate scheme to avoid me.

There's every supposed stage of grief in one essay. Except of course for acceptance. That's why I had the Boy print his out for me. I'll keep rereading it until it takes. That still might be never. 💔😭

Anyway, love you, you fucker. I'll see you Monday at your place. ❤️

[roberrtphilip]

AHHHHH i just had a dream that a bunch of enchanted deleted scenes were released (damn my own subconscious getting me excited for things that don’t exist!!!)

in my dream, robert actually got his own solo (why does my head work this way???) about his wife leaving him and for someone reason it was called “goodbye to blue skies” (i was just searching youtube to make sure it wasn’t a song i already knew and the only thing that came up was the pink floyd song which i have admittedly never heard of until now)

there was a little moment where giselle was confused as to what “gucci” was or how to pronounce it but sadly that’s all i can remember about it now 😥

i apologize that this ask is less concise than my previous ones, i just woke up and desperately needed to share while it was still “ingrained in my subcranium” 🤭

omg, this reminds me of how there was talk of an Enchanted stage show for a little while, and personally, I think it works best as a film, BUT I do often think, like. Would they have Robert sing? Because him having a depressing song about his divorce, and his feelings about love in general, or even just a song about Morgan, and his feelings as a struggling father would be great, but then it takes away from the impact of him finally singing after saying he doesn't sing, so I feel like they wouldn't. Which him not singing until the end definitely still works, of course, but still, it's fun to think about.

anyway, jealous you had an Enchanted dream because I've had maybe. two?? but for some reason I have Grey's Anatomy dreams almost constantly despite the fact that I do not watch, or even care about that damn show 😭

and speaking of deleted scenes,,,, Disney please release Hard Times for Heroes,,,, please,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[thinkingofausername]

Simon "Ghost" Riley - An Analysis

(aka hcs I've come across and loved as well as some of my own)

Author's note: This is just a self-indulgent speculation I wanted to get out of my system since I've been downright obsessed with this man and I really wanna make content about him. I've been trying to gather hcs that make most sense and are believable but we obviously may still disagree. Keep the pitchforks at bay :)

TW: domestic abuse, torture, SA, drinking, murder, drugs, mental health/illness, being buried alive, PTSD

Stretch marks. There's no way he wouldn't have them. Imagine kissing them 😥

He either looks like his mother and it hurts or he looks like his father and he hates it.

Touch starved and touch aversed at the same time. He craves gentleness, but he's never had it.

He would never be aggressive or abusive, in a relationship or in bed. The man had a traumatic childhood full of abuse and his new home would be peaceful and safe. Not to shame anyone but there's no way he would bring aggression or bondage or pain to sex after he's been tortured and raped

He wouldn't get drunk to the point of losing control or passing out. On a similar note I imagine being delirious from illness or blood loss would be terrifying for him. The vulnerability would mentally bring him back to a time when he was defenseless.

I love him with my whole heart and I know deep down he would be a protective and loyal and gentle lover but there would be hardships. He's hardly been loved or even perceived as a person and he would definitely struggle and run away and find himself lost.

Paranoia and overprotective tendencies bordering on control. I'm sorry but he literally had his whole family murdered - he will be on edge. He's also a lieutenant so being in control is the norm for him.

Hardcore anti-drug advocate. No one dear to him is going anywhere near drugs again.

Great listener and he remembers every damn detail. Very perceptive.

Silent gifts and favors as a way of apologizing. Mans would avoid talking about feelings for as long as he could.

Ghost and Simon are two different people. He has to separate work from home.

Quick cold shower guy. Terrible at self-care.

Probably pretty blemished skin. Not a shocker after wearing the same dirty cloth over your face for literal years.

God it would be divine pampering him. Massaging, washing, TLC all over the place. He literally wouldn't know what to do with himself. Stiff as a rock at first but he would be a puddle of bewilderment and worship and gratitude and pure love by the end.

I expect him to like bitter things and be bad at cooking since he's all rough and tough and he's only needed survival and the bare minimum for a long time but it's nice to imagine him unexpectedly having a sweet tooth or baking.

He'd spend a lot of his leave in the gym I wager. He probably can't be still and in silence for long before his thoughts start haunting him.

Definitely experiences sensory overload.

Social anxiety? I imagine he doesn't like crowds or attention thrown at him.

Claustrophobic. There's no way he's not after being buried alive.

Major trust issues. It would take a damn long while for anyone to get close to him.

I'd literally die to hear him laugh but I'm not sure what would it take to get him to do that. A huffing sound could be understood as a hidden snort and amusement but that's as far as it goes for a while.

He isolates a lot but I think it would do him good to have company and not sink into intrusive thoughts.

Obsessed with tasks and being busy.

On the field he's purposefully terrifying and brutal and feared but he'd never want to be feared by his partner. He'd want them to feel safe with him.

Price called him "son" once and he absolutely wanted to cry.

He'd have a hard time getting used to someone waiting for him at home. He always saw himself dying on the field.

His father scared him with animals but I really want to imagine him liking animals regardless. A dog would be loyal and silent and simple company.

He'd definitely prefer a partner who can defend themself or he'd teach them if they can't.

Crooked nose. He had to have been punched a lot in his life.

Chronic pain. His body's been through hell and he's covered in scars. Cold weather probably makes it worse.

Nightmares, obviously, we all agree on that. It just shows that he still cares and carries a lot of unresolved hurt and grief with him.

Vengeful as hell. Violence is the answer and it's in bold letters.

It's cute imagining him with kids but I think he'd have no idea what to do since he's never witnessed a normal and healthy child environment.

The biggest dilemma I've got is whether love would save or destroy him. He's been through a life of solitude and pain and it's amazing how many of us want to write him a happy end but the walls around him are sturdy and once they're broken and he basks in sunlight the person who's set him free could be taken from him like all others and then there would really be no way back.

[bitchy-peachy]

Update:

One of my tenants is a nurse and she's gonna help teach me how to put special shots on my stomach (my doctor prescribed shots to deal with my chemo better).

My pharmacy delivered the shots home personally and now they're in the fridge waiting for tomorrow.

I have chemo on Monday so yay I guess.

Sorry I haven't talked to anybody but I'm trying to learn how to calm myself down cos my drug induced depression really made me asocial af.

Thanks to my studies I know what's my real emotions and what are drug induced ones. I would never recommend self-diagnosis but considering the knowledge I have... yeah, I went down that route and gave my self-diagnosis to a psychiatrist as well as a med list i believed would help me and she listened to me unlike the male doctor I was given the first time.

So I'm on my way to getting better.

My steroids caused me the most hard-core depression that my teen suicidal tendencies had returned with a vengeance so bad that my head doctor had to take me off steroids earlier than expected.

I'm getting better now but now I'm starting to feel my REAL depression. No suicidal tendencies or anything... just feeling very exhausted and unworthy of the care I'm getting cos people are too damned good to my messy ass and i don't know how to handle kindness so i cry like an idiot.

It'll take awhile for the effects of the steroids to be completely out of my system and my prescribed meds to start finally kicking in so I'll be gloomy for awhile longer. (Weeks or months even. This is why I hate steroids)

I wanna handle this depression first before resuming my regular social activities again cos I feel like I'm unintentionally dragging people down into my misery and I feel even worse for it.

I don't want pretend to be happy. I want genuine happiness. My family knows when I'm faking shit. They don't like it and call me out pretty fast.

I'll need to take my percocet at 10 cos my doctor wasn't around all week and couldn't give me the pain patches that really took my hip pain away like a switch.

Strangely I'm walking better and am managing to cook, but I need my roller walker to move but I'm doing a lot stuff on my own. (Still need some assistance but not as much as before so that's good I guess)

The pain is bad when I wake up, sit on the edge of the bed and stand up. After that if I'm walking or standing for awhile... I'm fine.

Made Luthian and I some Mediterranean sandwiches since I've changed my diet for a "cancer friendly" one and we were by ourselves in the house. Turns out Luthian loves my diet so every time I say I'm preparing something, they ask me to make extra and they gobble it all up. First time I've seen them eat that fast. 🤣 Gotta sneak out of my room to make us more food since relatives don't want me outta my bed. If I had gotten busted I wouldn't been allowed to cook, lol. I like cooking new recipes as soon as I learn them (found a sweet soup dumpling recipe I wanna try. I can't fry them but I can boil for my soups and homemade sauces)

That's a good food for Luthian too. These diets not only fight cancers but also prevents them so my kid being healthier makes me a lot calmer. They tend to be picky with food and now they eat and leave the plate clean... so I guess my kid just needed different foods with different spices.

Unto other things: My arms get tired quickly but it's cos I'm using them a lot. 😔😥 I need the exercise and I know it but damn my shoulders pop so loud whenever I roll them after doing strenuous activities. My whole skeleton is an orchestra.

Then there's the tiredness.

Like "lifting my whole body weight with my noodle arms" kinda tired. (Quite literally. I'm like teke-teke lifting my entire body, useless leg and all, with my arms. If i start walking with my hands only i know Luthian would hate my guts cos they fear teke-teke big time)

Anyways, my pills are giving me hot flashes again and I feel strangely horny by myself in here. I'm hoping it passes quickly cos I know it's another drug induced thing.

Like what's up with that? My doctor told me my estrogen restricting pills could take or lower my libido completely due to early menopause (It stopped my period since last year)...

Another doctor told me I could have a different reaction sexually... like a higher sex drive despite no longer ovulating since every woman takes to hormone treatments differently.

These reactions are so damned weird.

Well that's all for now. Hopefully my chemo on Monday won't fuck me up like the last one that literally gave me a severe gastritis that had me hospitalized for 8 days. (No freaking joke. That's why I lost 40 pounds so fast. 😭)

PS: checked my newest percocet instructions and the doc had actually upped it to twice the dose in less time. Damn, I must have looked like shit... my family said I'm looking better since getting my gastritis taken care off but the doctor really went "you need stronger meds asap!"

Took them properly now. Within 40 or so minutes I'll feel numb af. Might bother people on whatsapp until I pass out. I get chatty af when on pain meds.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s5e16 dark side of the moon (w. andrew dabb, daniel loflin)

not knockin' on heaven's door 😥 this song breaks my heart already from how they used it in this scene:

s2e13 houses of the holy

SAM I don't know, Dean, I just, uh ... I wanted to believe ... so badly, ah ... It's so damn hard to do this, what we do. You're all alone, you know? And ... there's so much evil out there in the world, Dean, I feel like I could drown in it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up ... DEAN Yeah, well, don't worry about that. All right? I'm watching out for you. SAM Yeah, I know you are. But you're just one person, Dean. And I needed to think that there was something else, watching too, you know? Some higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe ... DEAN Maybe what? SAM Maybe I could be saved.

there's a reason i've only read a couple post-series set in heaven fics. emotional damage.

like jabbing every emotional soft spot i have with a stick

DEAN It’s okay, Mom. Dad still loves you. I love you, too. I’ll never leave you.

MARY You are my little angel. How 'bout some pie? Okay.

DEAN What?

SAM I just never realized how long you’ve been cleaning up Dad’s messes.

jfc dude. so sam's first memory is thanksgiving with some random girl's family, then his second is running away? guess we're poking dean's soft spots with a pointy stick too

DEAN Is this Flagstaff?

SAM Yeah. (He pets Bones.) Hey, boy.

DEAN This is a good memory for you?

SAM Yeah. I mean, I was on my own for two weeks. I lived on Funyuns and Mr. Pibb.

DEAN Wow.

SAM What?

DEAN Well, you don’t remember, do you? You ran away on my watch. I looked everywhere for you. I thought you were dead. And when Dad came home…

SAM Dean, look, I’m sorry. I never thought about it like that.

i didn't think it was possible for an episode to make me cry as much as that djinn episode but hey they did it. good job. what the fuck

DEAN Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This? This is the night you ditched us for Stanford, isn’t it? This is your idea of heaven? Wow. This was one of the worst nights of my life.

okay so. is this a plot point, someone trying to drive a wedge between them or something. because this is fucking awful.

DEAN C’mon! Your heaven is somebody else’s Thanksgiving. Okay. It’s bailing on your family. What do you want me to say?

fucking AWFUL.

latest thing i read in fic first and thought there was no way it was canon. soulmates.

ASH Mm-hmm. Yeah. See you got Winchesterland. Ashland. A whole mess of everybody-else-lands. Put them all together: heaven. Right? At the center of it all? Is the Magic Kingdom. The Garden.

DEAN So everybody gets a little slice of paradise.

ASH Pretty much. A few people share—special cases. What not.

DEAN What do you mean ‘special’?

ASH Aw, you know. Like, uh, soulmates. Anyway. Most people can’t leave their own private Idaho’s.

i missed ash. he was a fun character and his actor did a great job bringing him to life

ASH This ain’t the first time here. I mean, you boys die more than anyone I’ve ever met.

DEAN Really.

ASH Ah, yeah… you don’t remember. God! Angels. Must’ve Windexed your brain.

i'd always wondered about that, all those times they died before, what happened before they were revived.

my pamela. glad to see her too. little wary of the soft sell on saying yes to michael though

DEAN So he’s just going to sit back and watch the world burn?

JOSHUA I know how important this was to you, Dean. I’m sorry.

DEAN Forget it. Just another dead-beat dad with a bunch of excuses, right. I’m used to that. I’ll muddle through.

JOSHUA Except… you don’t know if you can, this time. You can’t kill the Devil, and you’re losing faith, in yourself, your brother, and now this?

a) whenever dean talks shit about dad i'm like DAMN STRAIGHT b) hopeless dean makes a self destructive dean, can we not again, please

great. cas is a hopeless mess too.

SAM We’ll find another way. We can still stop all this, Dean.

DEAN How?

SAM I don’t know, but we’ll find it. You and me, we’ll find it.

that was one thing i did look up in future seasons because i'd seen so much samulet fix-it fic. i always thought he tossed it in some random public trash, but this makes it even easier for sam to just pocket it.

Mama take this badge off of me I can't use it anymore It's getting dark, too dark to see I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Mama put my guns in the ground I can't shoot them anymore That long black cloud is comin' down I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door

[mondscheinprinzessin]

🔁 A fic you’ve re-read several times

😂 A fic that made you laugh out loud

👀 A fic that you love a normal amount

🥰 A fic that gives you warm fuzzy feelings

📚 A fic you wish you could display on your bookshelf

✨ A fic you wish you could read again for the first time

😭 A fic that ripped your heart out (but it hurt so good)

🤔 The first fic you think of when I say [Berlin]

1.     🔁 A fic you’ve re-read several times

I could probably say that about every fic in the BC tag (that fit my likes). But recently it’s Invisible Joel by Milirii/ @milirii. AO3 says I’ve visited it 11 times already and it just gives me great comfort.

2.     😂 A fic that made you laugh out loud

night time struggles by nerdbyheart It’s from a time BC had to tour around in a camper and we wondered how the hell they were able to sleep in there.

3.     👀 A fic that you love a normal amount

Complicated love by poodlejoonas/ @poodlejoonas It’s like soooo good. It’s part of the dad!BC AU but this part focuses more on Aleksi’s abusive relationship and my god you guys need to give it a shot even if you’re not into OC’s because I can assure you Mia did an amazing job with it.

4.     🥰 A fic that gives you warm fuzzy feelings

It’s so hard to only say one, so you’re getting two.

Sincerity is Scary by curious_crocodile, because I love the atmosphere with sick Aleksi and late night talk with Joel

And Finding A Christmas Tree by Rubyleaf/ @the-very-rubiest, because the Christmas spirit sprinkled in there fills me with warmth, and Joel and Aleksi slowly realizing their feelings is so cute.

5.     📚 A fic you wish you could display on your bookshelf

Mine, perhaps?😄 I think at one point I would love to make my multichapters into books, to really display my work.

But I would also pick Two hearts per door by hatehater. A nice High school AU with a lot of angst.

Or The night won’t let me go by LNights/ @lnights, to have something darker up there.

6.     ✨ A fic you wish you could read again for the first time

Probably also all I’ve already read.

Broken English by alanija/ @erdfrauchen, because the hurt/comfort just hits better when it’s the first time, and all the things Joel thinks about Aleksi are so much funnier the first time around😄

7.     😭 A fic that ripped your heart out (but it hurt so good)

Black swan by poodle_noodle. Reading about Aleksi’s conflicts and his struggles and his unhealthy behaviour hurts really damn much😥

8.     🤔 The first fic you think of when I say [Berlin]

God damn that was hard, and I don’t want to do self-advertisement but my thought process was actually my sex room AU because I’ve talked with Lou about it, and she was in that club that hosts a sex club on some days which is in Berlin😅

So How to build a sex room by me

from this fic rec ask meme

[duckymcdoorknob]

Uh this is kinda just a vent post.

I feel like I’m too “old fashioned” to survive in this era.

I’m so disgusted by sex.

I’m disgusted by its value in society now.

I hate that I get called a “buzzkill” and “prude” when I express that sex jokes make me uncomfortable. I hate that people don’t listen to me/respect my boundaries when I do so.

I hate that a man is only deemed “sexy” if he’s got washboard abs, a sharp jawline, and a big dick. Not all men want to/have that body.

I hate that a woman is only deemed “wifeable” if she’s got big tits, big hips, big ass and small tummy. Not many women are naturally like that.

I hate the whole concept of sneaky links and side pieces.

I hate that people aren’t in relationships to fall in love or get married anymore. I hate that most relationships only function if the sex is good.

Modern couples make me ick. I hate the “overly obsessive girlfriend” cliche, who is constantly checking her man’s phone, going fucking insane over his location, camera roll, etc. Liking a fucking photo on Instagram is NOT cheating. And like, LET HIM PLAY HIS DAMN GAMES!!! Sure, a relationship goes both ways, but I’m so tired of seeing “OMg he doesn’t love me anymore bc he played his game for 5 minutes after spending 10 and a half hours with me 😥😥😥😥😥” it may be a joke but like gOD ITS SO CRINGEY.

I hate the “overly possessive boyfriend” cliche. Like yeah if you wanna make a joke about her outfit being revealing, go ahead. But don’t try to control what she wears. So what if she’s got her cleavage showing? So what if it’s a little too short for your liking? WHO CARES. Don’t try to keep your girlfriend from leaving home/controlling where she goes.

I FUCKING HATE 3/4 OF PETNAMES AND I FEEL LIKE I’M BROKEN BECAUSE OF IT. “Bae, babe, baby, kitten, baby cakes, babydoll, doll, princess, mamas.” I just hate them and they’re the most commonly used so yeah I am broke. Like there is only ONE instance i’ve seen in which I’m not uncomfortable by “mamas” and that’s it.

And it’s not everyone!! I know in my heart that there are so many good people out there who still believe in love. I just can’t seem to ever be exposed to people like that anymore.

I hate that alcohol and drugs have been so institutionalized, especially to underage individuals. I hate having to watch my 18 year old best friend slowly turn into an alcoholic. I hate having to babysit another friend when they’re high just to make sure that they don’t get behind the wheel. Medicinal purposes is different. If a person is partaking in a substance so to calm their anxiety, calm any other mental ailments, or any physical pain, please by all means do so.

My whole issue is, I feel all of these things but don’t want people to stop doing them because who am I to tell them how to live their lives?

I just don’t relate to anyone anymore. Moreover, I don’t relate to anyone my age anymore. Making friends is hard, finding a partner is hard. It’s 10x harder when I have to try to explain that I’m ace. It gets 50x harder when I have to continuously argue against the “well don’t knock it till you try it” or “when you get a partner, you’ll understand and start to feel those urges.”

No the fuck I won’t???

ALSO

I’m tired of victim blaming. If I hear one more person say “well what was she wearing?“ I’m gonna choke them.

I hate the fact that people hear I’m Catholic, and automatically assume I’m a piece of shit. Like bro I’m asexual, queer, and pro-choice. I’m constantly committing so many sins???

Like I said, it’s NOT ALL PEOPLE. But, a big chunk of society and my environment is like this.

I don’t like action movies, I don’t like many live action tv shows. I like anime and kids movies, baking shows and some TLC documentary series’.

I don’t like rap or country or modern pop. I like 60’s and Broadway and J-Pop.

I don’t like Valorant or COD too much. I like Genshin and Undertale, and stupid games like Untitled Goose Game or T.A.B.S.

People treat me different because of this. I hate that they do.

I don’t want to spend my weekend at a party. I want to spend my weekend perfecting my essay so I can get a good grade.

I don’t know if it’s because of my religious values, or my own values, but I think I’m just old fashioned.

Jesus I’m so sorry if you read all of this. If you did, just pretend you didn’t.