#i loved Ave so much that I was looking at genius to write down the lyrics to rn

[hearts4pearlescentmoon]

Allow me to explain

I’ve been thinking

[gogandmagog]

Thanks to some friends at the Lucy Maud Montgomery institute (what up, University of PEI), I was recently put on to the ‘100th Anniversary Scholarly Annotated Anne of Green Gables,’ and you guys… you know how the Grinch’s heart ‘grew three sizes’ that one Christmas in Whoville? Well, similarly, my little brain grew three sizes by the time I was even a quarter of the way through that book.

I cannot recommend it enough, to any dedicated Anne fans. I’s guess I personally still need several months, to fully process everything.

Lucy Maud!!! She was so so so… deep, and thoughtful, and capable of weaving together stories of such intricacies that one scarcely can begin realize what seeds are being planted. The stealth feminism that is so natural and abundant, because feminism is natural and abundant.

In the annotated book (so many contributors to credit, I’ll update this post for sure when it’s somewhere less than midnight), we learn so much. You see things you provably never saw before.

And a major disclaimer right here, before the cut, because I’m doing by best here to summarize a level of absurd genius that is not necessarily easy to grapple, and HEAVY quoting the brilliance of this piece, and other essays others have written on this piece, so pls understand that 0% of what’s coming was borne of my own insight. Just straight up copy/paste behavior here. And also, consider doing yourself a favor at this point by sitting down or holding on to something.

From the jump, the ‘100th ANNEiversay Scholarly ANNEotated Book’ outlines Montgomery's evolution of the first Anne text drafts to make very deliberate and clearly feminist points.

For example, as they say, it is one of the first (perhaps the very first) bildungsromans about a woman who comes of age in mind and spirit as well as in body and community. “In traditional European symbolism, men get associated with sky and spirit, women with earth and body.” In the long, lyrical passages that describe the beauty of Prince Edward Island, Montgomery begins with the trees and the flowers -- which she scoured Canadian and American sources to find feminine vernacular names for -- like "Lady's Slipper." Masculine flower names, such as "Bachelor's Button," are changed out for "aster" or for feminine alternatives. Anne usually gives them feminine personal names too, "Snow Queen" we are looking at you. Sometimes LMM writes the masculine name in her first-pass manuscript and later comes back with a neutral or feminine alternative. She was purposefully locating the feminine in the flowers and then -- in just about every passage describing flowers at length -- she expands the focus to the sky. Sunsets, stars, sunrises, clouds, all of that symbolically extends Anne from the bodily world of the earth into the spiritual and intellectual world symbolized by the sky. A traditionally masculine world. It's deliberately transgressive. She isn't just waxing poetic about the vast beauty of Canada; she's locating Anne within a symbolic structuring of the world where Anne, crucially, has an emotional and intellectual life that is put on an equal plane with traditional masculine coming-of-age stories ... but without denigrating the femininity of the earth. She also applies flower words to the sky itself, describing its colors as "marigold" and "saffron" and so on. The down-to-earth stories of women doing women's work is a feminist point, that Anne can dream and learn and love and go to college and teach, but she can also sew and weave and care for children and become a wife and mother. She uses a symbolic structure of Earth Mother/Sky Father that dates back to Plato and that reaches its full flower in the Romantic poets that Anne loves -- in order to subvert it and locate women and men on an equal footing, and to make the claim for young women reaching for the profoundly-metaphorical stars.

Anne appears in spring, like Persephone, and starts bringing Avonlea to life -- and almost the first thing she does in Avonlea is wear live flowers into the church. HEY SYMBOL OF PATRIARCHY, HAVE SOME FEMININITY IN UR TEMPLES. The actual Prince of Wales College in Charlottetown becomes Queens College -- COLLEGE IS FOR LADIES, YO.

Quotations in Montgomery are never JUST the apt point to the moment, but virtually always point to the larger work the quotation comes from and, if you know the reference, underlines her themes or make deeper points about the characters or situations. (Like referencing the masculine romantic epics that Anne loves, to make the point that Anne is going through the same quest, just like a boy.) Names too -- Biblical Anne is the mother of Mary -- Marilla -- who in the book is a virgin-become-mother, who both mothers Anne and is mothered by her as Anne helps give birth to Marilla's long-repressed true self. Rachel Lynde, as in Judaism, stands for fertility, the mother of Avonlea, a symbol of plenty and fecundity and earthy women -- it's no accident she's fat and poor love-starved Marilla is thin. Diana is a pagan, sensual girl, who is always described as wearing (or eating) something red, and is the only character in the book to get drunk. Her physicality is sometimes set against Anne's spirituality -- but not too much, because this isn't a book about either/or but about both/and when it comes to the physical and spiritual.

It's a book about mutually-supportive relationships between and among women and how that love helps them self-actualize. There's only ever room for one man at a time in these novels -- not until Matthew dies can Gilbert enter Anne's life, because men are so secondary to the narrative in Anne, which is about the webs of support that women weave to support and uplift each other, to hold together communities, to make it possible for women to become fully self-actualized, spiritual, intellectual, bodily people.

I think, in some ways, it would have been a bit of a cheat for Anne to become a famous writer, because a large point the novel makes is not that women can be just like men, but that women are fully-actualized human beings as women and don't have to imitate men; that the world of women is rich and valuable, and that women are not thereby less intelligent or less spiritual than men. Having her become a wife and mother, as most women of that era did, and leading a rich, fulfilling life in that role is probably a more fit ending to Anne's story than if she'd been "exceptional," since Lucy Maud Montgomery's (hereafter to be known as literary Beyoncé) entire point is that it's not just the rare, unusual woman who has a rich interior life -- it's all women.

[userlarri]

stealing @jakeperalta‘s idea of putting all of the tag games friends have shared into one post - ella, you’re a genius!! if anyone feels like doing any of these, pretend i tagged you 💕 

tagged by @cheddarholt  💖

honey and lemon or milk and sugar // musicals or plays // lemonade or iced tea // strawberries or raspberries // winter or summer // beaches or forests // diners or cafés // unicorns or dragons // gemstones or crystals // hummingbirds or owls // fireworks or sparklers // brunch or happy hour // sweet or sour // Rome or Amsterdam // classic or modern art // sushi or ramen // sun or moon // polka dots or stripes // macarons or croissants // glitter or matte // degas or seurat // aquariums or planetariums // road trip or camping trip // colouring books or water color // fairy lights or candles

---

tagged by @charmainediyoza  💖

Rules: put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that come up, then tag 10 others to do the same! (disclosure - i shuffled my liked songs on spotify)

let me get me / selena gomez

tequila makes her clothes fall off / joe nichols

time after time / quietdrive

don’t let me be the last to know / britney spears

home / sundy best

it’s nice to have a friend / taylor swift

freak / little mix

this kiss / faith hill

a.d.i.d.a.s. / little mix

you don’t do it for me any more / demi lovato

let me just say, this list is not a very good representation of my taste lol

---

tagged by @smilecapsules  💖 

top seven comfort movies

grease

miss congeniality

any disney tbh... but if i can only have one, mary poppins

anastasia

now and then

the princess diaries

10 things i hate about you

---

tagged by @jacobperaltaz  💖

RULES ⇥ TURN YOUR URL INTO SONG TITLES (because we all need a little more music in our lives) 🎵🎧

enchanted / taylor swift

i do / cardi b ft. sza

gravity / john mayer

have i told you lately / van morrison

temproary fix / one direction

your love / the outfield

no judgement / niall horan (stream this album!! my mans doesn’t miss!!)

island in the sun / weezer

new year’s day / taylor swift

everywhere / michelle branch

somebody to love / queen

really enjoyed this one, too!! THIS is better view of my music taste, but still there’s so much more

---

tagged by @smilecapsules💖

Rules: name 10 favorite characters from 10 different things and then tag 10 people

remus lupin, harry potter

amy santiago, brooklyn 99

ben wyatt, parks and rec

erin hannon, the office

mindy lahiri, the mindy project

titus andromedon, unbreakable kimmy schmidt

peter parker/spiderman, marvel

james aubrey, bones

janet, the good place

chandler bing, friends

what can i say - your girl loves some sitcoms

---

tagged by @greatbigstorm 💖

🌿 favourite comfort food: chicken and dumplings

🌼 favourite alcohol (or hot drink!): margaritas! but also hot chocolate

🌷 favourite relaxing activity: giffing

🌸 favourite fluffy/feel-good fic: none come to mind. haven’t read fic in a minute

🌻 favourite calming scent: anything vanilla tbh

🌺 favourite relaxing (or uplifting) song: have i told you lately by van morrison

🌵 favourite white noise: thunderstormss

🍄 favourite book to get lost in: the outsiders by s.e. hinton

💐 favourite chill out tv show: parks and rec or friends

🌹 the best advice you’ve ever had: don’t let the bastards get you down

---

tagged by @smilecapsules  💖

top 3 ships? ugh..... ben x leslie, jake x amy, ron x hermione

last song? no judgment / niall horan

last movie? the princess diaries

food i’m craving? oh man, i’d kill for some warm cheesecake brownies right now....i gotta make some this weekend

---

tagged by @greatbigstorm 💖 

Bold what applies to you

♡ appearance ♡ i am over 5’5 // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing over tight clothing // i have one or more piercings// i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear makeup // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball caps backwards

♡ hobbies and interests ♡ i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with my friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand (in the pool? lol)

♡ relationships ♡ i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have hooked up with my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have had a long-distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

♡ aesthetics ♡ i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sunrise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms //i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colors // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

♡ miscellaneous ♡ i can fall asleep in moving vehicles // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote(s) // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a superhero movie // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least 3 dogs

[jessethorn]

Some Interviewing Thoughts

My friend is working on a book about how to podcast. He sent me these questions about interviewing and since who knows how much of my answers will actually end up on the pages of said book (which I will plug when it is time, I bet it will be great), I figured I’d just post them here, in case they’re useful to anyone. 

If you are not familiar with me or my work, I am the host of the NPR interview show Bullseye with Jesse Thorn (I am the Jesse Thorn of it). I also did a podcast called The Turnaround where I interviewed interviewers about interviewing.

Can you tell us something about your process?

I'm usually at least somewhat familiar with the guest's work - that's why we've booked them. Not always, but usually. So I have that advantage going in to the prep process.

I try to take a full day to prepare. If there's a book, I usually read it over the preceding week or so. If there's a movie or a show, I see it when I can. The rest I cram in before the interview. I don't have Lexis-Nexus (maybe I should?) but I go on Google News and search for as many news pieces as I can about the guest. I prefer big profiles and long interviews. I'll start with whatever's in the Guardian or the Times or the New Yorker, or online sources with deep archives like the AV Club. And I read as much as I can. Usually a few dozen things. Depends on the notoriety of the guest. I'll also read a bit about the work - film or book reviews, just to get other people's perspectives on it, see if there's stuff I haven't thought of. And usually at the beginning and end I'll read... wait for it... Wikipedia. Because it's usually better than people's bios, and it helps me remember the rough narrative of their life and work. I'll also try to listen to or watch at least one interview - maybe when I'm driving in to the studio. That just gives me a feeling of what it's like to talk to them, so I'm not surprised.

While I'm prepping, I keep a document open on my computer in a writing app called Q10 that saves a text file automatically to a folder that's synced across my devices. If a thought I want to make sure to ask about occurs to me while I'm reading, I drop it in there. Not usually in question form, mostly just a phrase, like "loves to play mandolin but isn't good at it" or something. Generally I'm looking to move past what other people have asked. When I read a response that my guest-to-be has to someone else's question, I'm thinking, "what does that response make me curious about?" I can figure out how to do the exposition to get there. And I'm often thinking in a way improvisers call A-to-C. There is a piece of information, I think "what does this make me think of," then I think "what does *that* make me think of?" It helps avoid obviousness. It's important to know how other people ask someone something, so you can ask something different or at least ask in a different way. Because generally you don't want someone's patter, you want a fresh, in-the-moment thought or reaction.

While I'm doing this, if I find media I want to incorporate or ask about, I send it to my producer, who's pulling clips. They'll give me a list of clips, including the ones I specifically wanted, before the interview, and I'll give that a look-over so I can remember roughly what I've got.

In the end, I have maybe a list of six or eight things I want to try and remember to ask about, a list of six or eight clips, and a lot of information in my head about who the person is. Once in a while, I'll have a question written, but generally only because it's something sensitive and I want to say it exactly correctly. Like a question about a crime someone was accused of or a time someone's colleague was harassed or a time someone said something particularly shitty. Those I don't want to be phrasing on the fly. Generally, though, it's just a few phrases so I don't forget to ask about a funny thing I thought of. I just interviewed the soprano Renee Fleming, and the list had "singer breaking wine glass: is that real" on it.

In general, I'm trying to think about a general outline for the interview - like "we'll talk a bit about the new thing first, then circle back to childhood, then through the biography" or whatever. And I'm trying to be curious and think about why they make the choices they do and what I find myself wondering about. Besides that, I want to know enough about the person I'm talking to that I can just focus on conversing with them. 

 What things do you think are most important or key to your ability as an interviewer?

I like and respect the people I interview. If they seem like an asshole, I don't invite them on my show. They're generally pretty brilliant, or they wouldn't be able to make the great art they make. So my job is to just meet them where they are and talk to them like a person. I probably show a bit more of myself than most folks at NPR do, who are more news-oriented or reporter-oriented, but my interest in the person sitting across from me is sincere. If I share something of myself, it's because I think it might be meaningful to them and help them understand that we are both people, and we're having a chat.

I also don't try to hide my interest behind posturing faux-impartiality. They're there at my invitation, I'd be a real heel if I'd invited them but wasn't interested in what they were saying. I listen when they talk, and react to what they say. I don't try to control the conversation except to the extent I need to do so to make a radio show. I goof around in goofy parts and respond in a humane way in emotional parts. And in general, I know that it can't go that wrong, so I don't really give a fuck. You only get one ticket, might as well enjoy the ride, as Devin the Dude raps. 

 What do you do to put people at ease or when you sense that they're' holding back? Is there a time you remember when that happened? 

I try to put them at ease when I meet them, before I even sit down at the mic. Or before we start if they're in another studio. That really is just basic human stuff. I come out of my office, go over to them, say hi, I'm Jesse. Shake their hand, smile. Let them know we're gonna talk for an hour or so, it'll just be talking, we'll make them sound great. For most guests if there's something that might be sensitive, I'll let them know it isn't live and if there's something personal they don't want to talk about, to just let me know. (That never actually happens.) Maybe I ask them something about their outfit or something I wondered that wasn't really for the air, like about a sports team I heard they like or something. Just talk to them like a nice person would. 

If the interview is rolling and they're holding back, I maybe ask them something friendly and surprising, something that makes me look dumb, maybe something silly. If they're really polished but not revealing themselves, I might ask them a question that requires a heartfelt answer - like I dunno... "are you afraid of death?" Mostly though I just know that I have some time and that if I talk to them in a nice human way they'll usually come around to responding in kind. 

 What do you keep top of mind when interviewing?

The person sitting in front of me. The actual conversation happening at that actual moment. 

 Could you describe how you go about preparing for an interview, and approx how long that process takes?

I went through it pretty well above, but as far as time goes - outside of consuming the media the person is there to talk about, their book or film or whatever, I'd say I try to give it at least six straight hours. And I'm very fast at it, since I've been doing it now for twenty years. Before it was maybe eight or twelve. But again: that's in the context of most of my guests already being very familiar to me.  

Was there a time when something totally unexpected happened during an interview? What did you do in response? How did things turn out?

I once played a clip for Michael K. Williams of a dance track from the 80s, this song where he'd appeared in the video. It was his big break. And I thought maybe he'd be happy to hear it, kind of amused, but he started crying. And he was in a studio in New York, I couldn't really tell if he was sad or hurt or happy or whatever. But I just let him do his thing. Because I didn't need to control the moment. I have him some time, and he shared some incredible memories. 

 Are there some people you look up to as interviewers? What did you learn from them?

I think Ira Glass is always very deeply interested in other people's feelings. It is absolutely sincere, and he just asks about them. On more than one occasion, I have had him ask me about my feelings when I was interviewing him. He obviously doesn't do the same kind of interviewing I do - he is really looking for a few illustrative or moving highlights - but the way he does that is very inspirational to me.

Terry Gross is extraordinarily modest. She is a brilliant genius, but she is always glad to highlight the guest and what is great or interesting about them. She also always asks for examples, always brings the conversation to specifics and stories when it could be vague.

I did a series called The Turnaround, where I interviewed interviewers about interviewing, and talked to all kinds of famous interviewers, from a variety of media. 

Susan Orlean, who writes for the New Yorker, can find a story anywhere. She just shows up and is extraordinarily curious and recognizes when something is interesting and pulls the thread. That's another improv technique - a scene is built on the first distinctive element. You spot it and you grow it. 

Larry King is always hyper-present. He did years and years of long live radio shifts. He absolutely trusts his curiosity. He told me he once asked a pilot if, when the plane took off, he knew it was going to land. He is unafraid of looking like a fool as long as he is following his curiosity.

Reggie Osse, Combat Jack, he knew everything about the subject he was interviewing people about. Everything. So he always had a little anecdote or a little insight that opened things up. His show was loooooong, but that was because he was always relating to something someone said about something in a club in 1998, and that led to this, and all of a sudden you're armpit-deep in amazing stories.

Jerry Springer really respects everyone he talks to, and cares about them and their story. Including folks who other people might laugh at or scorn or pity. He just goes in and tries to give them a chance to be heard.

Elvis Mitchell is a real critic, and he has more expertise in entertainment media than anyone I've ever met. I mean he knows more about his seventh-greatest area of expertise than I do about my first. He's really masterful at talking to artists about the actual content of their work. Themes and ideas. In a clear and concrete way. So many people substitute anecdote for insight, and I am very grateful for his insight. 

Marc Maron is like a genius puppy. He just pokes and prods and guesses, and he's so smart and is crackling with such energy that he finds stuff because people step up to meet him. He also is so raw, emotionally, that people just try to take care of him by sharing themselves.

Audie Cornish is astonishingly clear-eyed. She knows what she needs to know, she knows the context, she goes and gets it.

Howard Stern will just ask about anything. And you know he will talk about anything. So you feel obliged to tell him. And he always asks about the biggest and most important stuff. Like how did you lose your virginity or do you believe in God or whatever. He just does it and what are you going to do, not answer?

That's only a few, I could list a million more. I would say that something they share is that they are all actually curious. It is not a performance of curiosity; they want to know about others.

Are there any stories you could share of times when you learned some valuable lessons about interviewing? Do's and don'ts? 

I once interviewed Betty Davis, who is a legendary (and legendarily reclusive) funk musician. She was on the phone from Pittsburgh, patched through by her label since she didn't want anyone to have her phone number. And she was very polite, but very fragile-sounding. She hadn't done press in a few decades, and hadn't even picked up her ASCAP checks until a fan tracked her down and hand-delivered them. She gave me a lot of one sentence answers to my questions. It was really, really hard, but I remember thinking of something I'd read in Jessica Abel and Ira Glass' This American Life comic, which is that if you don't say anything, people will fill the space. So when she finished her sentences, I just waited. For a long time, sometimes. Like five or ten seconds, which is FOREVER. And every time, she added to her initial remarks. And that saved the interview. 

Another time I went to a fancy hotel in west Los Angeles to interview Bill Withers. He's done some press since then, but at the time he hadn't really done any in like fifteen years. He's older and incredibly smart and a little grumpy. And when I sat down, he kind of started giving me the business. Because whatever - I was a young white guy there being presumptuous enough to bother him, a guy who really had nothing to gain from the interview. And I remember at some point he was giving me a hard time and I kind of poked back at him, and he laughed, and after that it was one of the best interviews I'd ever done. I think just because he was like, "oh, this is a person, too. He's not an idiot, he's here because he cares, and maybe he's even interesting to talk to."  

What do you know now that you wish you'd known when you were starting out?

That it's going to be fine. I think I learned that from doing the Turnaround. Because I wasn't going to make money from it, I just figured I'd let myself off the hook preparation-wise and emotionally and so forth. Just let it go. And it was some of my best work. Because I trusted it would be fine, followed my actual curiosity, and talked to everyone like a person. Once my therapist asked me why I was anxious about interviews, and I told him I didn't want to mess it up and look foolish. And he said, "Does that happen?" And I was like... "No. I guess not." And he's like, "So, why be anxious?" And I was like, "CHECKMATE DOCTOR CARR."  

If there were one thing you'd like someone who's just starting out to know about interviewing, what would it be?

Be curious. Ask open-ended questions. Remember that whoever you're interviewing, whether it's Buzz Aldrin or Michelle Obama or Little Richard is a person just like you are a person. And enjoy yourself!  

[jamiefairfaxisntcool]

/mu/core album review | Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

/mu/core album review #1

this week on /mu/core album review, we look at:

Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

Ah yes, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. The album that’s mostly known as either, “that one weird album from the 90s,” or, “/mu/ basic bitch meme music.” If you’re anywhere past a casual music fan, you have most-likely heard some songs off this project, if not the whole thing, doubly so if you’re into 90s culture, Indie, or any sort of Art-Rock or Folk movements. As I type this, the most popular YouTube rip of the album has about 4.3 million views, a playlist separating each track stands at 500,000 views, and the title track has a remarkable 40,733,956 plays on Spotify. Holy shit, to put that into perspective: AV Club writes that, “In The Aeroplane Over The Sea was originally slated to sell about 7,000 copies,” that’s roughly 5,819 times the predicted sales numbers of the album on just that song. This also means that this song has been listened to for approximately 131,163,338 minutes, a total of around 131,163,299 more minutes than the actual album length. Humanity has spent a collective 249 years listening to In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. Oh, and that’s just the title track.

If I couldn’t spell it out so clearly there, this album is fucking outrageously popular.

Even if you haven’t heard any material off the LP, this album is memed pretty heavily in the music corners of the internet. I don’t think I can find a single music meme page or forum that hasn’t jumped upon the ITAOTS or NMH bandwagon.

At this current point in time, ITAOTS has became a permanent resident in the zeitgeist of internet music culture. NMH, and by extension, it’s creator, Jeff Mangum have been elevated to a cult of personality status. The band and this project are accompanied by a never-ending choir: 15-25 year old sad white boys who cry while sing-screeching about semen and Anne Frank and poorly play open chords on their detuned Ibanez acoustics.

It’s oddly beautiful.

The album is so deceptively simple, so creatively cryptic and has all the elements of a slog faux-folk fest filled with whining that would bore me to so many tears that they could rival the sad boy indie kids who lose their e-girls to their more socially active explore-page bait counterparts. To a person not familiar with it, ITAOTS could look like an over hyped, masturbatory depression tape. It looks boring. It looks like it should be boring.

If it should be boring, then why have I only listened to it and absolutely nothing else for the last two days?

This isn’t a joke, I revisited the album of course to refresh myself before sitting down and writing this review. I kept listening, over the course of a school day, in-between production and songwriting sets, while playing games, and as I write this, I just finished my eighth spin of the record. Before those last two days, I had only listened to the album probably twice. 

I remember listening to it back in seventh grade and not particularly disliking it. I was really into Yes and a lot of other Prog and Psych bands, but I wasn’t particularly impressed with the almost yuppie voice that Jeff had used on the record compared to vocal beasts like Freddie Mercury, Bowie, and Jon Anderson. Later on, I listened in freshman year, and I appreciated it much more, and had a few songs come up in my shuffle play, but thought nothing much of it.

Now, war had changed.

part 1: i’m the fucking carrot king

As I plopped down in my computer chair, my window crackled and banged like a distant firecracker with the smack of heavy rains on a Summer afternoon. I placed my headphones firmly atop my ears, closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair. I heard the opening chords of The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1 and tried not just to hear the instrumentation, but also pay attention to the lyrical content of Mr. Mangum.

When you were young, you were the king of carrot flowers And how you built a tower tumbling through the trees In holy rattlesnakes that fell all around your feet

Okay, so what the fuck is actually happening here?

Upon my listens, I inferred that Jeff is speaking to another party here, most likely a female love interest, in what seemingly starts in a nostalgic tone. This sounds almost like a picturesque, coming-of-age, Americana film. Maybe one starring Molly Ringwald and River Phoenix, with a surprise cameo from someone famous back then like Jack Nicholson. Maybe John Candy, with a John Hughes script. Everything would have those faded out, classic colors, a hearkened back era. Quickly, by halfway through the first act, the tone shifts. A darker mood, a stark, grim reminder that life wasn’t always sunny and shinning in Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.

And your mom would stick a fork right into daddy's shoulder And dad would throw the garbage all across the floor As we would lay and learn what each other's bodies were for

The Mang informs us of a horrific family life, specifically about what seems to be his dad’s, stepmom’s, and stepsister’s interpersonal relationships. The lines are obvious and straightforward, the life of our protagonist was rife with unhealthy familial and sexual relationships, and a sense of love and sweetness was not found there. Keep that in mind when thinking about later songs such as Oh Comely.

After the somber intro of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1, we reach my personal least favorite track on the album: The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 2 and 3.

Look, I know the meme. “I LOOOOOOOOOVE JESUUUS CHUHRIEEEIISSSSTT,” and all that shit. I’m not even worked up about that line in particular, I just dislike Pt. 3. It’s the weakest of the upbeat songs on the album, with the weird yodel-screech voice that Gumman performs with really takes me out of the experience, which sucks because the buildup and atmosphere of Pt. 2 felt pretty amazing. Luckily, Pt. 3 is fairly short, so we don’t have to worry about it too much.

part 2: earth angel’s thesis

The title track for this album is one of the best songs on this album, no fucking contest. In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, Oh Comely, The Fool, and Two-Headed Boy Pt. 2 are top contenders when discussing this album. If you like the faster, fuzzier, upbeat songs you could probably substitute The Fool for Holland, 1945.

The title track has a familiar sounding chord progression and we can hear Gum from Jet Set Radio’s saccharine but yelp-y voice belt out from atop the mountains his undying love and admiration for... Anne Frank?

What a beautiful face I have found in this place That is circling all round the sun What a beautiful dream That could flash on the screen In a blink of an eye and be gone from me

In the first verse, Geoff mentions meeting or viewing a beautiful person on this fleeting rock circling round the Sun. He also matches this with the idea that it’s truly futile for him to chase after this beauty, as it is only a dream that could escape him when he awakes. El Jefé has actually mentioned that some of his surrealist lyrics are derived from dreams. Perhaps these lines could imply a more literal dream fading? I don’t exactly know, all I know is what I interpreted.

The instrumentation of this piece is nothing straying from NMH’s usual repertoire: Mandrake on Guitar and Vocals, Scott Spillane on the Horns, Robert Schneider on Bass and Production, Julian Koster playing... something. What is he playing? Wait, give me a second.

He’s playing the Singing Saw? I thought it was like, a Theremin. What the fuck is a Singing Saw?

Oh.

Okay sure, you can play that, however the fuck you do that.

And finally we have Jeremy Barnes on Drums.

The personnel handle the music with a light, bouncy feeling, and the tone and timbre remind me of a faded, old, seaside town on the east coast. Another thing to mention is that the chord progression is G-Em-C-D; I-vi-IV-V. A funny thing I noticed is that this song shares a chord progression with tons of songs from the 50’s and early 60’s, which adds to the waning Americana feeling, but it more specifically shares that progression with Earth Angel by The Penguins. In the 80’s film, Back To The Future, Marvin Berry covers the song with his band for the Enchantment Under The Sea Dance where Marty’s dad and mom have to dance to ensure that the future stays intact. There’s no further real connection, but I thought that was kinda cool to mention.

After looking through the lyrics for In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, I will admit, as a brainlet Two-Headed Boy Pt. 1 eluded me. Patrolling through Genius and some other reviews, I guess the consensus about this track was that it was about Anne Frank again? Manta Jeff’s cryptic lyricism continues to fool me. Besides the lyrics, this track mostly remains a piece of really good filler.

part 3: stop the military occupation of my brainwaves

The Fool is amazing, anyone who says it’s filler is wrong. I know I might anger some people by literally implying that Two-Headed Boy Pt. 1 was filler, but seriously The Fool just makes me a feel a way. My brain creates a scene reminiscent of a depressing diesel-punk Les Misérables. Even though Scotch Spillage’s fantastic piece for horns is beautifully imperfect, it lacks lyrical content and is short and length. So, let’s instead talk about Holland, 1945.

This awesome, uptempo, almost punk-like piece of fuzzy brass is groovy son. It’s probably the song you could show someone not familiar with this project and they’d be like, “Oh, is this Cake? Why is the lead singer singing so high now?”

Holland, 1945 is a song that you can just listen for the instrumentation. Holland, 1945 is a song that promotes peace and love. There’s so many great things I can say about Holland, 1945. How it’s theme is so perfectly fitting for today’s political climate, how it manages to blend these psychedelic and bluesy timbres with a fast and loud sound and how well it continued the semi-conceptual narrative of Joff’s admiration and love for... Anne Frank.

Okay, fuck it, I have to say it. It’s bothered me ever since I discovered it.

Why Anne Frank? Like, I know why Anne Frank, but I mean like, why, y’know? I’ll say I admire Anne Frank, she was trying her best to live a normal life in a terrifying time to be alive, but I never wanted to fuck her. xxJeffxx’s mentions of Anne kind of make me raise an eyebrow. Especially because the album’s not just about her either. When he gets sexual, it’s difficult to determine whether he is mentioning a third party or Anne, which would be pretty weird, as she was 15 when she died and Heff was 28 when he wrote this. Maybe this is just some patrician music shit that I’m too plebeian to understand, like heated toilet seats or drinking for fun rather than to drown the pain. Maybe I haven’t sat down and watched enough flowery-squarespace-sponsored-lofi-hip-hop-muzak-using-pretentious video essayists to understand it, but what do I know.

part 4: the proletariat cries

To wrap on the second half of the album, this is the half that I cried in.

Communist Daughter is a good song, but with how short it is, it left me wanting more. This track is one of the few that actually features a soft-spoken Jeffen, and its open and dark but dreamy atmosphere left my jaw agape. The mountaintops weren’t the only thing stained.

Oh Comely, Oh Comely. Oh Comely is a song that deserves its own review. The lyrical chops of The Mangum Magnum are on full display as he belts somber, brutal verse after verse, with plenty of juxtaposition between sickening, sexual and vile situations alongside a description of a sweet, innocent young girl, just trying to survive with a guitar by her side. This beautiful, lovely girl gets taken advantage by someone, some people, perhaps even Yeff himself, only seen as an easy lay, a whore, like the ones her father visits often. He disgustingly describes semen in the garden, and her making miracles with her mouth, but I didn’t get a tone similar to so many songs about “sexual-empowerment.” The song is about self-deprecating depression leading to her being used, perhaps even abused. A situation all too real, too close to many of us. As I type this, I don’t know what to think. A woman should of course have individual sexual freedom, but this song doesn’t describe that. It describes trauma, emotional, psychological trauma. Meaningless sex, a rotten smell, staining the flower of a woman, all of this language that could be simply described as gross. This isn’t a happy song about fucking bitches. This song is about how a girl wanted to play music, pluck vines and was taken advantage of, reduced to her roots, and deflowered. Fuck. I wish I could save her. In some sort of time machine.

Two-Headed Boy could refer to a number of things. I have a head canon. This girl, Comely, is being used by the Two-Headed Boy for sexual favors. The Two-Headed Boy then “repays” her in friendship and music, playing their silly little songs. On the surface, Comely assumes the Two-Headed Boy trusts her and cares for her, but really all he wants is sex. Comely, living in a broken home and without a proper male figure in their life, is conned by the Two-Headed Boy, and just wants to live a normal life. Comely is trapped. She’s living in a place that is surrounded by the texture of scum and she knows it, she just can’t call upon the strength to leave. She’s trapped in a home, a ghetto, wanting to live a normal life, but she’s been placed here by the Two-Headed Boy, who knew her mother and father were broken, and she would be too. The Two-Headed Boy broke in, claimed to be her friend, and supports her, before defiling her. Comely was pretty, bright, and intelligent. She was just in a bad situation.

Comely was Anne Frank.

Not to say that they were literally one in the same, but I mean J. Mangum (private eye) is comparing two children, ripped from their lives by this awful world, and intertwining them, blurring the lines.

Who’s the Two-Headed Boy? As I said, it could be a number of people. Nazis, Peter van Pels, hell, even Jeff Manga himself could be the Two-Headed Boy. It doesn’t matter as long as we realize the relationship between oppressed and oppressor.

There is a glimmer of hope for Comely though. Read the closing words from Two-Headed Boy Pt. 2:

Two headed boy, she is all you could need She will feed you tomatoes and radio wires And retire to sheets safe and clean But don't hate her when she gets up to leave

Comely and the Two-Headed Boy split away from each other. Comely leaves the Two-Headed Boy, and the narrator says not to hate her when she leaves. On a deeper level, this could be an introspective Jeff Mangum relating on his past. I don’t really know.

outro

Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

9/10

What did you think? Was I way off the mark, or do you agree? What should I have covered? What did you like, what did you dislike, I’m all ears. Leave a follow and a like if you liked it and I’ll see you on Wednesday.

[agentdagonet]

HP cross? Eggsy is a wizard living in the Muggle world. Harry his lover, is a squib who was raised muggle and has no idea. Eggsy is invited to meet Harry’s family and recognizes Lord Hart, and is recognized in return (I dunno why, maybe Eggsy went to school with Potter?) Harry can’t figure out why his brother who was so stiff about his relationship now loves Eggsy (because he’s not a muggle)

Okay, I hope you enjoyed this- I certainly enjoyed writing it. I’ve made it a bit more compatible with the rest of my Vaguely Magical verse. I’ll make a timeline eventually. But. Yeah. Hope you like it!

Eggsy had never thought that his Harry was related to those Harts. How could he be, when he was so obviously Muggle? The Harts weren’t the sort to have lined up with Voldemort, or Grindelwald before him, and any other similarity could be chalked up to fluke genetics. He’d met plenty of people who looked enough like himself for it to be eerie, it happened, so any similarity to Lord Hart of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Hart was happenstance and nothing more.

Eggsy should have remembered that even the Weasley’s had squib relatives that they didn’t talk about- and they were as Light as they come. Maybe then his fireplace exploding in green flames wouldn’t have been so startling.

‘Oi! It’s polite to send an owl b’fore showin’ up uninvited!’ Eggsy’s mouth had run away from him before the flames had died down and the soot was cleared, and as soon as it was he wanted to shove his fist in his mouth as surely as his foot had been. 

Cygnus Hart was an old friend of Eggsy’s from Hogwarts, someone he’d lost touch with when he’d decided to settle on the muggle end and had actually missed. So it wasn’t an unpleasant surprise, just an incredibly unexpected one. But his presence here meant one of two thing: either the postman had brought his invitation to dinner to the wrong Hart household, or he was incredibly mistaken about Harry’s being a muggle.

‘Well, for a moment there I was sure I’d been hallucinating, but there’s no one else quite like you, Eggsy, is there?’ From anyone else it would have been an insult, but from Cygnus it was saturated in the same kind of dry amusement he loved Harry for. He’d aged well since they’d last seen each other at the Quidditch World Cup nearly ten years beforehand, eyes still bright and more laugh lines than crows feet, and Eggsy couldn’t help but laugh.

‘The world don’ need more than one of me to be full, mate.’

‘True enough. Now, to business,’ Cygnus transfigured a book into a chair, elegant but not obscene, and sat seriously across from Eggsy at his desk. ‘Did you know?’

‘Know what?’ Eggsy took a moment to pour them both a drink, smirking to himself that there were some things that were universal, like an appreciation for good liquor. Or, at lest, liquor that didn’t taste like shite.

‘That Harry’s my uncle?’ Eggsy spat his first sip out as soon as it had hit his tongue. Like the first time he’d tried firewhisky, shocking and wholly unpleasant.

‘Well, that answers that question.’ Cygnus wiped his face with a grin and no small amount of amusement on his face. ‘So I can truthfully tell my father that this isn’t come ploy by house Unwin to get into the Wizengamot or whatever nonsense he’s cooked up today.’

‘Yeah, that’d be safe, seein’ as I had no idea you was even related until now.’

‘Was I that forgettable? Truly?’ There was a wry twist to his lips, and a waggle to his brow that seems out of place with the setting at hand, but Eggsy laughs anyway.

‘Oh, you’re unforgettable, but it don’t take a genius to know that Harry ain’t got magic. The fuck was I supposed to think but there was just more Harts than you lot?’ Eggsy made his way around the desk and summoned a chair with a wave of his hand, a luxury he rarely afforded himself. As much as he loved the muggle world, loved Kingsman, he missed casual magic most days. ‘So you can go an’ tell dear old dad that Eggsy’s back.’

‘He’ll be thrilled.’ There’s no sarcasm, no cocky grin, and Eggsy’s laughter falls from his face. Of all things, the approval of Astraetus Hart was the last thing he thought he’d have. Eggsy’d been a cheeky git as a kid, and sharing a dorm with Cygnus had done nothing to curb his enthusiasm for life- in fact, he’d actually just drawn him into his shenanigans- and the last he’d heard that wasn’t a thing for the heir of such a family to be doing.

‘What?’

‘Well,’ Cygnus spins his tumbler on a finger the way only a wizard can before taking a sip, ‘turns out, dad’s been tryin’ to find a way to bring Harry back into the family since his dad sent him away and this is the easiest excuse he’s got.’ Cygnus brandishes the invitation to dinner like a victory flag.

‘You’ve given father the means to, without incurring the wrath of his peers, gain the brother he should have always had. And that means you don’t have to hide, anymore.’

‘Bold of you to assume I’ve been hidin’ anything.’

‘The fuck does that mean?’

‘Guess you’ll ‘ave t’come to dinner, then.’

—

‘I’d say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but then we’d both be lyin’.’ Eggsy smirked from where he leant obnoxiously against Harry’s side, martini glass in hand, and Cygnus slapped a hand to his face. Astraetus didn’t quite know what to do with himself.

‘Are you the man who’s been making the most disastrous excuses to avoid meeting me my entire life via letters that mysteriously appeared in my post box with no marks whatsoever?’ Harry said blandly, stealing a sip from Eggsy’s glass, ‘Or perhaps the person with the issue with my falling for a man far younger than myself and tried to convince me to think otherwise also via mysteriously unmarked post?’

‘Well, Hedylogos,’ Harry choked, ‘even if I was, I think I’d be backtracking quite quickly.’

Taking Kingsman Prompts! Send in anything and I’ll give it a go!

[docholligay]

The Tinsel Web

This magical Christmas story was unwittingly sponsored by @katrani! ANd thank you so much, I utterly enjoyed writing it! Seriously, this was basically self indulgent nonsense ahaha. ANYWAY, about 2,100 words of some fun Widow/Tracer angst. Full OW Universe is here. 

The Christmas lights glowed outside the window with a warm and yellow light, and even a creature of the dark like Widowmaker was reminded of the sun, in this darkest time of year.  

It had been two years since she had seen Tracer last, since she had stood in that hotel room and told her she had no intention of leaving Talon. That she had never wanted to, and that Tracer had been a fool to think any of this was more than those late night trysts in hotels scattered through Canada and Europe and wherever either of them happened to be. It was the thrill of the hunt, the desire of seduction, and whatever else she might have felt for Tracer was no competition for the knowledge that she could keep Overwatch down. That everything it had been would never return.

Maybe it was that hunger within her, the spider that crept and needed to feed and drew its web around people. Tracer had been a succulent feast, full of hope and stamina and brightness. There had even been a certain sense of wine-dark pleasure in seeing the hurt on her face in Calgary. When she had left Overwatch and expected Widowmaker to come with her. When she had refused to join Talon. Oh, that creature, so bold and so foolish and so young, despite them being the same age. It truly was only a number, and Tracer’s eyes still sparkled with the passion and fire of those who have not learned.

But that hardly seemed a logical reason to send a letter. Le Marais was a few short blocks away, full of lost girls with starving eyes and willing bodies, who looked at the curve of her and were willing to forget it was not human nor omnic nor any known and earthly being.

But she had sent it, asking Tracer to come see her in Paris, in that elegant apartment her family had left behind. Overwatch had recently relocated to London, Widowmaker supposed for the reason that Tracer and Winston had long held lodging there, and Doomfist’s liberation from jail had made them more sensitive to the concentration of power on the European continent.

Sombra had told her Mercy and Pharah were currently living with Tracer, which Windowmaker thought must be more personally distracting to the group than any plan she and Talon had produced.

She was half-surprised when Tracer sent her a postcard, noting that she’d agree to come, that she’d be here in the afternoon two weeks from then.

Amelie had looked at the card, turning it over in the candlelight as she sipped a Burgundy in her long silk robe. It was a simple affair, a picture of the Tower Bridge stretched over the Thames, Tracer’s simple scratch on the back of it noting that she’d come, with neither excitement nor seeming concern.

She had brought Tracer here, twice. It was strange to call such a well-appointed and removed place intimate, carved as it was out of marble and old money, but there was something of her in it, and it felt nearly too close to bring Tracer there. But she had done it, and Tracer’s eyes had grown wide at the opulence of the place. Widowmaker, or it might have been Amelie, in that moment, had laughed about how her parents had money and breeding but little taste.

But Tracer had found the gilt and crystal and marble all very enthralling, in the same way she had felt a strange warmth in Tracer’s home in London, a bit shabby at the edges but clearly well loved, Tracer beaming with pride at how long it had been with the Oxtons, showing her each little detail, down the little note on the door where her father had told her to remember her keys and her wallet, that she’d left on the board all these  years.

Widowmaker had no such associations with this apartment, no warm family photos or feelings, but it was her domain, and it was here she wanted to have Tracer again. It was here she wanted to lay her down on those fine cotton sheets and take that sweetness and light into herself, to possess it and to suck it from Tracer’s body as her own raw sustenance.

To that end, she had dressed accordingly. You could say many things about Tracer, but one could not say she was unobservant, her eyes moving over every detail, whether she managed to file them away or not . She would note the bright red lace under Widowmaker’s black silk robe, and she would not react to the clear and present sign of danger.

She never did. Berries that lived in the sunshine tasted the sweetest.

She had the apartment decorated for a season she barely cared about but remembered Tracer being very fond of, a bright Christmas tree and pine boughs laid across the mantle, cherry wood burning on the fire. Tracer preferred rooms that were warm, she remembered, being a living being and not a creature like Widowmaker.

There was a knock at the door, and Widowmaker felt the hunger rise in her, that beautiful desperate desire, and she slithered over to the door like smoke, all curves and mystery.

Tracer stood in the doorway. Under the constant companion of her leather jacket, her accelerator glowed against a simple green sweater with worn tan corduroys, a grey tweed flatcap containing the spray of her chestnut hair. Widowmaker would almost say that she had missed her, in that moment, as the soft leather and citrus of her wafted into the apartment.

Amelie certainly would have.

But Tracer did not smile, and looked away from Widowmaker as she bounced by into the apartment and set the light blue canvas bag she carried on the coffee table, stretching as she took off her jacket.

“You’re here.” Widowmaker purred.

“I’m ‘ere.” Tracer nodded.

“May I offer you a drink?” Widowmaker did not wait for the answer, simply walked over to the silver plated bar cart with its cut crystal glasses and began to pour a measure of gin into a highball crisscrossed with deep cuts that made it shine.

“Rather not,” she shook her head, “What’s this about, then?”

Widowmaker continued to ignore her, simply stirred the tonic and lime into the glass and presented Tracer with it, a small dram of cognac in her other hand.

“Do not be this way,” she smiled and shook the gin and tonic slightly, “we are only...catching up, as they say.”

Tracer took the drink, but set it down on the coffee table behind her before setting down in a pink velvet upholstered chair.

“All right, then.” She looked up at Widowmaker and shrugged.

Widowmaker slipped casually onto the loveseat in the same sickly sweet pink and turned to Tracer. “You have relocated to London.”

“I ‘ave.”

They stared at each other a moment, Tracer’s drink untouched between them, as Widowmaker silently sipped her cognac, the warmth of it prickling at the back of her throat. She was still the same--if her understanding of Tracer’s disability was correct, she likely always would be--her leg bouncing impatiently, her hand toying with the aviator’s watch she constantly wore, the one her father gave her, she’d told Widowmaker, in a fine hotel in Madrid.

But she was quieter than Widowmaker had seen her, lips pressed tightly together, every muscle tensed and ready to run.

“I did not bring you here to kill you.”

Tracer shook her head, but seemed to relax the smallest amount. “Didn’t think you did.”

There were so many small things that Widowmaker had forgotten. The way her voice clipped when she talked, the syllables hard and heavy, the way a th became the harder f in her mouth, how she cocked her head when she listened.

She reached out and touched Tracer’s hand, warm and prickling as the cognac, and Tracer did not pull away.

How could she? Spiders knew how to build webs, even the webs made of Christmas lights and cognac.

She leaned in and kissed Tracer aggressively, bending into her, and for a moment it seemed the prey would surrender to her, to the poison she gave forth, the sweet chapstick of her lips fresh in Widowmaker’s mouth, and Widowmaker saw every hotel room and every bed, and she leaned further in, her hand on the back of Tracer’s neck.

“Bloody--” Tracer pulled away from Widowmaker and stumbled to her feet, “What do you mean by that?”

Widowmaker swirled her cognac and smiled. “It seemed clear to me.”

“Came ‘ere to talk, Amelie.”

Widowmaker rose to her feet and stalked toward Tracer. “We have never been good at talking, you and I. That is true, no? We are where hatred grows the flowers of lust. We are creatures of the physical world. ”

Tracer looked at her for a moment, her eyes blinking slowly, her face turning with each new consideration.

And then she shook her head and looked at Widowmaker in disbelief.

“No we isn’t. Least, not me” She took a short sigh.I’d ‘ave done anything for you, I would,” she looked off, a light sorrow hitting her face even as the golden light of Christmas touched it, “I did. Sneaked around on me team, gave Win a mess of grey ‘air, went anywhere you asked--”

“Not anywhere.” She said, without quite meaning to.

“You really think I’d ever ‘ave gone to Talon?” Her arms were crossed across her chest now, and the red was rising under the dapple of her freckles. “I never, ever asked it of you, to work crossways to your cause. I only asked you to give it all up with me, to meet me ‘alfway--”

“Overwatch is a waste of you,” Amelie set down her cognac, but did not immediately look back to meet Tracer’s gaze, “I could see, that day in King’s Row, that it was true. It was simply a question of opportunity.”

Stories we tell reflect the truths we wish to impart, and Widowmaker had told herself this story hundreds of times. That she had seen a spark of genius in her fighting, in her abilities, and so she had not killed her, not either time. That she had known she could bring Tracer into the Talon fold, and so had seduced her, and if she enjoyed herself, so much the better.

Sometimes a story can be as much what we wish were true as anything else.

Tracer took another step back from her, face in a deep and dark furrow, gesturing furiously. “You trying to bring me into Talon? For what? For Reaper to snarl at me? For Moira to cut me apart like them little animals in ‘er lab?”

“Moira would never have been allowed,” Widowmaker stepped toward her, “Tracer. Lena. You could do so much in this world. To save it from itself,” She stroked Tracer’s cheek, “We could teach you so many things. And we would not meet in dark bars and shadowed hotels, no. We could be--”

“No!” She paused, taking a breath. “Not this again.” 

Tracer took a cautious sidestep toward the door, and hung her head a moment, leaving Widowmaker quite unable to finish her sentence. She looked toward the door and then back at Widowmaker, her fists balled.

"Answer me one thing, Amelie" Her face was something Widowmaker had never seen before, hurt and anger mixed as a bubbling stew inside Tracer, boiling over the edges of the pot, and she vibrated with the sheer intensity of containing the explosion. She held up a finger. "Just the one. Did you ever love me? Even for..." she blinked back tears, "one minute, of one day. Was it ever real?"

"I..." Widowmaker wished for the security of her gun, and her scope, disarmed into honesty by the question, "I do not know. Whatever might have felt that was killed long ago" she looked away from Tracer, out where the lights twinkled about the Seine. "I am sorry."

"Oh you're bloody SORRY?? I near lost everything, because of you, you know that? And now you come back and it's alll je suis fatigue..."

That wasn't "I'm sorry" but it seemed, to Widowmaker, to fit.

"You think I'm weak, I know that," she steamed and paced, shaking her head, "But you're the bloody FUCKING coward, Amelie. I 'ave always been me. I feel the way I feel. If I'm 'appy, I'm 'appy, and otherwise. But you, you don't feel it at all, not ever." she picked up her jacket, swinging the bag wildly over her shoulder,  and went to the door. "And no one never killed nothing inside you but you, are that's the bloody truth, and you bloody well know it." She swung the door open wide. "AU REVOIR, you fucking cunt and ‘appy fucking Christmas!." She gave a deep sniffle and slammed the door behind her.

Widowmaker lit up a cigarette.

The English were so dramatic.

[ancientbooshartifacts]

Anything Is Possible

Author: IDeserveYou

Year: 2013

Rating: R

Pairing: Rudi Van DiSarzio/Spider Dijon

Rudi and Spider wake in a heap on the verandah, looking out over the neatly hoovered courtyard, the morning sun bright in their narrowed eyes. The girls are nowhere to be seen, though from the bar comes the sound of snoring. The bongo brothers look at each other, and cautiously unwind their tangled limbs. ‘We didn’t…?’ Rudi looks hastily away. Spider throws back his tatty mane and laughs raucously. ‘No, my friend, you would know about it if we had. Although…’ And then the laughter has gone from his voice, and he is speaking honestly, as he never has all through the years Rudi has known him. ‘Although I think per’aps we would have liked to. And maybe one day we will, no? You think zat might be possible for us?’ ‘I do not know.’ Rudi watches the sparkle of sunlight on the water-trough. ‘I cannot see how.’ ‘Look into your mind,’ Spider says. ‘Use the door.’ ‘I do not think the door was put there for this kind of purpose.’ ‘Who is to say why ze door is zere? But it is zere, and ma door is telling me zat if you look behind your door you will see what it is zat might be possible. So look.’ Rudi pushes the door open, just a crack, and looks. Spider waits with an air of expectancy, hopefulness even. His eyes are very blue. Presently he says: ‘Tell me.’ ‘Your body...’ Rudi struggles to find the words to describe what he saw last night: the sinuous twist of Spider’s slim hips in silhouette against the torchlight, the tangled fall of his hair, the abandoned joy in his face. And how his own mouth had suddenly gone dry with wanting. ‘What about ma body?’ Spider stretches his legs out, glances casually downwards and shrugs. ‘It is ze same one I’ve always ’ad.’ ‘The way… the way it moves.’ Rudi looks at Spider’s belt, the way it lies flat across his belly. ‘When the music takes you, and you dance, you are… you are…’ ‘What am I?’ ‘Beautiful,’ Rudi says, and then he turns away, blushing. ‘I never saw it before. It makes me want to… to do things…’ He hears Spider shift beside him; about to get up and walk away, perhaps. He cannot look round. Then a hand is laid over his own. ‘Tell me of zese things.’ Spider’s hoarse, harsh voice is almost gentle. ‘Many people, zey want to do things with Spider, zey tell ’im ’e is sexy and charismatic and a bongo genius, but nobody ever told him he was beautiful.’ Rudi looks down at their joined hands, and takes a deep breath. ‘Promise me one thing, brother. Promise me you will not laugh.’ ‘I promise,’ Spider says. ‘I promise I will not laugh.’ ‘Thank you.’ Rudi opens his mind; dares to push the door open further, and look closer. ‘I want… I want to take you away from here. Just you and me, like it was at the beginning, when we were young and laughed a lot more than we do now.’ ‘Back to Cancun?’ Spider says hopefully. ‘Spider had a great time there, yeah, got drunk for two weeks and laid every senorita on the beach at least once…’ ‘That is not what I am talking about.’ Rudi sighs. Perhaps it was a mistake to think Spider could ever understand. ‘Listen, you got drunk for two weeks and had sex many times. I spent two weeks looking for you and another week sitting by your bedside in the hospital fending off weeping women and their aggrieved boyfriends. Spider may have had a great time, but Rudi certainly did not.’ ‘So, this time it would be different.’ Spider tightens his grip on Rudi’s hand. ‘Spider is older and wiser, knows how to have a good time without killing himself, yeah?’ ‘Spider, what I am trying to say is, that that was a good time for you but not for me.’ ‘Oh… but it ’as always been zat way, ze bongo brothers make an album an’ go on tour, Spider gets wrecked, Rudi takes care of Spider, Spider gets better, zey make anozzer album, zey go on tour again…’ Spider falls silent. Then looks up, his eyes full of sudden tears. ‘But zis time, ze door is telling me, it does not ’ave to be zat way, and I think you are telling me too, no? Zis time we ’ave a good time together, both of us, and Rudi my brother, I am sorry for all ze ozzer good times zat were bad times for you.’ He wipes his eyes on the back of his hand. ‘I am sorry,’ he whispers. ‘That’s… all right.’ Rudi pats him awkwardly on the back. ‘So will you tell me more?’ Spider asks, sniffing. ‘More about what you want?’ ‘Very well. I want to take you to a fancy hotel, it does not matter where. And hire a suite, run a big bath full of hot water…’ ‘Hey, you tellin’ Spider ’e smells bad?’ ‘No. Not at all. You are not the biggest advert for personal hygiene, but…’ Rudi leans down and breathes in the dusty, sweaty, spicy fragrance of Spider’s matted dreadlocks. ‘I like the way you smell. I should like to get to know it better.’ ‘Oh, by takin’ off all ma clothes, hmmm?’ Spider is smiling again now. ‘Yes,’ Rudi says, taking courage, ‘I want to take off all your clothes and look at you.’ Spider shrugs. ‘Precious little zere zat you ’aven’t seen already over ze years.’ ‘Yes, but I will never have looked at you in quite that way before. And when I have looked my fill, I want to bathe you all over, touch you all over –’ ‘And per’aps Spider could do ze same for you, no? Take off your dress –’ ‘This is not a dress. It is –’ ‘Ze sacred robe of ze psychedelic monks, I know, I know, I wear ze same dress too now. Just not all ze time, Spider likes ze support of nice tight trousers around his specially gifted parts.’ Spider hitches at the bulge in his crotch, then looks up and grins. ‘And you like it too,’ he adds thoughtfully. ‘I –’ Rudi is stilled, quivering, a rabbit caught in headlights. Spider’s grin is positively predatory. ‘Even you,’ he chuckles. ‘Even you, Rudi van der Sarzio, you cannot resist ze Spider and ’is eight –’ ‘Exactly. I cannot resist, I no longer wish to resist, I want us to free ourselves of our sacred robes and be together, with nothing coming between us.’ Spider splutters with laughter. ‘Except for nine ’appy cocks, per’aps.’ Rudi frowns. ‘Do not be coarse, my friend. This is a delicate matter. It may not be easy. I will admit, I do not have quite your… experience. I will need to feel my way…’ ‘Fine by me,’ Spider murmurs, shuffling a little closer. ‘You can start now, if you like… Ah. Too much too soon, hmmm? Is OK, stay zere, keep talkin’, tell ze Spider ’ow it will be when you make love to ’im, I am thinkin’ of you bollock naked on ze bathmat and then… does a bed per’aps feature in your plans for our future?’ ‘A bed… Yes.’ Rudi lies down again, his head on Spider’s chest. ‘A big bed with crisp white sheets. I want to pick you up in my arms and carry you to that bed and lay you down, and then…’ ‘And zen what?’ Spider’s heartbeat is loud in Rudi’s ears. ‘What will you do wiz Spider when ’e is all washed clean and lying in your bed?’ ‘I will kneel,’ Rudi whispers, ‘kneel beside the bed…’ Spider chuckles wickedly. ‘You will find it easier to reach if you kneel on ze bed. Zen you will ’ave ze choice of all eight, no?’ Rudi feels suddenly dizzy with the marvellous visions that Spider’s words are spinning in his head. ‘Very well. I will kneel on the bed. And I will lean over and…’ ‘Slide your big mouth over one of ma big ’ard pricks…’ Spider breathes, reaching up to trail a fingertip suggestively over Rudi’s lower lip. ‘I will not be in such a hurry.’ Rudi takes the finger briefly into his mouth, feeling Spider shudder beneath him as he licks at it and then lets it go. ‘First, I will kiss you. On the mouth, then on the nipples, perhaps, if that is something that you would like.’ ‘Oh.’ Spider wriggles ecstatically. ‘Oh, yes, zat is most definitely a thing that Spider would like. An’ when Spider’s nipples are as rock-solid as ’is cocks, zen what will you do?’ ‘I will kiss your beautiful flat belly, and your thighs, and then –’ ‘You missed something. What about ma belly bouton?’ ‘What about it?’ Rudi’s never really noticed Spider’s navel, but now he comes to think of it, peeking above Spider’s low-slung belt, it does have potential… ‘You want me to kiss you there too?’ ‘Ohhhh yes. An’ per’aps slide your tongue in, or a wet finger, as though it were ma –’ Rudi shivers with delicious anticipation. ‘I will do those things for you, my brother, and then I will kneel between your legs and – and – ’ He closes his eyes, breathing hard. ‘And do… exactly what you said earlier. With my mouth. And my hands…’ Spider gentles him; strokes his hair. ‘Easy there, brother. I know, zese things zey are not easy for you to say. But Spider is getting ze message, loud and clear.’ He shifts his position a little, just enough for Rudi to feel the hardness pressing against his lower back. Then he chuckles. ‘An’ when Spider ’as come all over your face an’ your ’ands, an’ ‘e ‘as finished apologizing an’ cleanin’ you up, zen what will you do?’ ‘I will roll you over,’ Rudi says with sudden boldness, ‘face down on those crisp white sheets with a pillow under your... specially gifted parts. And I will kiss you and touch you all over your back and your delectable arse until I am as hard as rock and you are begging me to – to –’ ‘To fuck me.’ Spider’s hoarse, needy whisper almost undoes Rudi on the spot. ‘Yes. To do that. I will prepare the way for myself, carefully, so carefully, I will of course have obtained the proper lubricants and prophylactics, I will work my fingers inside you little by little until you are wet and open and ready for me...’ ‘You seem to know a lot about ’ow to prepare a man for fucking.’ ‘I... read a lot about it. On the internet.’ Rudi blushes. ‘Many women write about it in great detail, and it seemed to me to be something it might one day be necessary for even a psychedelic monk to know.’ ‘It’s good zat you know. An’ one day you will know it with your body, an’ not just in your mind...’ Spider puts his arms around Rudi, and holds on tight. ‘Go on. What will ’appen next?’ Rudi heaves a deep breath. He has thought about this so often, but saying it out loud is an entirely different matter. And actually doing it – if this turns out to be real, and not just another of Spider’s crazy fantasies – will be an entirely different matter again. ‘I will...’ He clears his throat. ‘I will kneel once again between your thighs, and when my erection is suitably protected and lubricated I will spread you apart with my hands, and press the hot, hard head of my cock against your...’ ‘Entrance,’ Spider murmurs. ‘Or my ’ole, or my ring, I do not care what you call it so long as you get inside it.’ ‘I will be gentle, but persistent.’ Rudi’s cock twitches under his robes. ‘And eventually you will let me in, I will slide smoothly inside you and...’ ‘Oh. Oh...’ Spider grinds his hips desperately against Rudi’s back. ‘Oh, my brother, you ’ave undone ze Spider with your lovely filthy talk, I cannot ’old back ze floodgates any longer, I am coming, with all eight at once...’ Rudi doesn’t know what to say; just rolls over and holds the quivering, jerking Spider tight until the climax appears to be more or less finished. ‘Thank you,’ Spider whispers. His face is wet with tears; and when he pulls away from Rudi’s front, his trousers are wet with something quite different. He looks down at himself with a faintly puzzled expression, as though unsure what to do next. ‘Perhaps... a wash?’ Rudi suggests. Spider’s blue eyes come gradually back into focus. ‘Yes, I will go and wash and put on ze dress again, at least it is clean.’ He looks from his own groin to Rudi’s, where the purple fabric is standing up in an impressive tent, and grins like his old self. ‘Zat barn over zere is a good quiet place for a monk to practise some meditation while he is waiting...’ The barn is dusty and peaceful. Rudi pushes the creaking door shut, leans against it, and takes himself in hand under his robe. He summons up the image of Spider, dancing and swaying in the moonlight, and it takes only a couple of strokes before he’s spilling over his fingers and onto the dirt floor. As he’s wiping his hands clean on a wisp of hay, he hears shrill welcoming cries from the courtyard, running footsteps, and then deeper voices: the men of the village are coming home. More running footsteps are followed by a sudden creak, and Spider reappears in the doorway; somehow Rudi knows that he’s wearing nothing underneath that purple robe. The thought is intoxicating. And so is the music that’s just started up again. ‘Can you hear it?’ Rudi asks. ‘The new sound, in the music?’ Spider snorts. ‘Forget about ze new sound, let’s get out of ’ere. Some of zese men are big and tall an’ zey will not be too pleased to find zeir girlfriends ’ave ’ad some Spider Loving... do you think our doors will tell us the way to the nearest travel agent?’ ‘You mean that?’ Rudi is amazed. He didn’t think Spider could possibly be serious. ‘Of course I do.’ From now on, all of ze Spider Loving, it is for you.’ Spider kisses Rudi on the cheek. ‘Now come on, you big man in a dress, stop staring at ze Spider, an’ get moving. I wanna book zat trip. An’ it ’ad better be somewhere far away.’ ‘Why?’ Spider laughs, and takes his hand. ‘Because, ma friend, you ’ave told me what you would like to do to me, an’ now we’ll need a long flight to give me time to tell you what I would like to do to you...’

[missnighttigress]

The Masquerade: Chapter One

Characters: Tony Stark, Fem!Tony Stark, Toni Stark, Loki, Loki Odinson, Loki Laufeyson

Pairing: Toni Stark x Loki (eventually)

Word Count: 2,527

Summary: After the New York incident, Natasha "Toni" Stark threw herself back into the worlds of science and business. She expected everything to go fine until the next attack. She didn't realize fate had something else in store: a visit from an old acquaintance who hurled her out of her penthouse window. She had expected the worst to happen, and was in for quite a shock. Maybe this was the greatest show of them all...

Warnings: mild angst, mild language, more warnings in the possible future

A/N: I started writing this way back in 2012. The original wasn’t as well-written as this, which is an updated version. This is the first chapter in this particular series. I’ve actually been kind of playing with the idea of revamping this so that it includes some turmoil in a love triangle between Toni and Loki and then Toni and Steve. Please let me know what you think!

AO3 Link

Natasha rolled in her satin sheets as her body twisted itself into comfortable sleeping positions. It was the first night she got any real sleep since the battle with Loki so many weeks ago, and JARVIS really didn’t want to disturb her. If he didn’t, she’d be late for her appointment.

“Miss Stark?”

His futile attempt was met with a snore as a response. So, he tried again.

“Miss Stark?”

A moan this time. That was better than a snore.

The steel door at the other end of the long modernly-decorated bedroom clanged open, and a tall tan woman stepped through. Her messy hair was a bright red, almost strawberry blonde color, a navy business suit covering her body. In her firm right hand was an Android tablet. Her eyes glanced up at the ceiling before she spoke in a decibel just above a whisper. “I’ll handle this, JARVIS.”

“As you wish, Ms. Potts.”

Pepper’s navy heels made indents on the plush carpet of Toni’s bedroom as she stepped toward the edge of the king-sized bed and gandered downward at the sleeping head of Stark Industries. She knew the inventor was up late inventing anymore, making modifications to the suit and new renovations to the tower Loki destroyed. However, that night was the Iron Stomach fundraiser, one of the biggest fundraisers Toni held. It wasn’t exactly going to host itself. “Wake up, Toni.”

The woman snarled and rolled over, her foot swinging out from underneath the covers and catching the back of Pepper’s knee as she grumbled, “If I didn’t answer the first two times, what the hell makes you think I’m going to answer the third?”

“How many cocktails did you drink last night?”

Her fingers clenched at the edge of the black comforter as she pulled it over her head. “None.”

“Ms. Stark had six, followed by that many shots of tequila,” the AI answered.

Toni hissed at the ceiling. “I’m going to deprogram you and use you as scraps, you rat. I thought we had something special.”

“We do, Miss. I am merely concerned for your safety.”

“Concern a little less.”

Pepper rolled her eyes and managed to claw the comforter from Toni’s fists. Iron Woman groaned and shrunk into a ball as response. “Don’t yell at him. He’s doing what he was programmed by you to do. When you were out drinking, did you remember what today was?”

“It’s ‘Get the hell out of Toni’s room or so help me’ day, right?”

Pepper’s jaw locked. “No. Today is the Iron Stomach gala at the Ritz.”

Toni unraveled her body and slung an arm over her eyes. “I made you CEO. You handle it. I’m taking a day off.”

“Do you know the kind of preparations we’ve already gone through for this? I gave the title of CEO back to you anyway. This is all on you. Besides, it’ll do you some good to get out of the lab for a little bit.”

The arm peeled away as chocolate eyes opened to glare at the assistant. “But science,” she whined, sounding like a little kid. She didn’t care. Going to that damn fundraiser meant having to get all dolled up. She was perfectly fine being a grease monkey.

“Toni, we’ve already canceled a major event once in the last three months. If we do it again, people will begin to talk, especially the shareholders. You need to do some good press, especially now that you and the other Avengers have damaged a good chunk of the city.”

“At least it was only part of the city and not the whole damn thing. Ever see what happens when Superman tries to save the world? He does more damage than good, I tell ya.”

She rolled her eyes and tugged the blanket the rest of the way off the CEO. “You gonna get up?”

“You gonna get out?”

“Not until I see you up and moving.”

Toni hissed once more but unfurled her body, taking her time to stretch before physically rising from the bed onto her feet. “There. Satisfied?”

“Very. Now get changed. We have to go make the final preparations and make sure everything’s in order.”

Toni growled and stomped to her closet. “All right, all right! Get out. I’ll be down in a minute.”

Pepper grinned wide and nodded. “Very well, Toni. By the way?”

“What?”

“No suit. JARVIS is on lockdown so you can’t create another scene before tonight.”

“God dammit, Pepper!”

“See you downstairs, Toni.”

There wasn’t much that could keep a god imprisoned, not even Asgardian cells. Then again, Thor was the dolt who let the God of Mischief out to aid in battle, so it wasn’t so much a question of the cell’s safety as it was Thor’s sense of judgment. It didn’t matter to Loki, though. He was in Midgard now, and he made sure no one could see him.

Loki stepped from an alley and glanced around at the humans and the bizarre look they were giving him. “Peasants,” he spat as he walked into a crowd of men and women in business suits.

“Are you attending the Iron Stomach fundraiser tonight?” his ears heard one of the women say.

“I don’t know. Stark’s ego is going to be overwhelming thanks to the alien incident. It’s a masquerade anyway. What if I danced with a guy, wanted to go home with him, and I found out he had leprosy or something?”

“You’re so shallow, Maggie. You’re 36! It’s time to settle down.”

The god tuned them both out after that. He had gotten his crucial information from the women, and he was done. Instead, he focused on the large building that said “Stark” on it and grinned wickedly. “Looks like I’m invited to a ball. See you there, Woman of Iron.”

“No! These aren’t the flowers I ordered! I ordered red and gold tiger lilies with dyed roses. What the hell…the centerpieces are all wrong. Come on, people! You’ve had two days and several hours today to prepare this, and it isn’t done? Seriously?”

Toni immediately jumped in and started getting her hands dirty by rearranging the centerpieces when Pepper trotted over. “This is exactly why you should’ve been here instead of the lab the last few days. Everything would be exactly the way you want it.”

“Please tell me you’re on top of fixing this disaster.” Toni leaned toward Pepper’s frame and whined like a petulant child. “You always come through for me.”

“Which is why I did so this time, Toni,” the redhead chuckled, handing her boss a piece of paper. “I have everything arriving within the hour and everything will be exactly like you want it to be. Who’s the best?”

“You are,” the genius grinned. Chocolate eyes wandered around until they rested on a petite blonde girl in a business suit rushing toward them – no doubt, the concierge. “Need something, Tinkerbell?”

She blushed softly and panted. “M-Miss Stark? The florist has arrived, and the catering crew is around back.”

Iron Woman patted the girl on the shoulder. “Thank you, Tink. I appreciate it. Keep doing your job.” When she bounced away, Toni whistled for the decorating crew to gather. “All right, boys. I need you to go lift those flowers and come back in here and rearrange all of this. I promise, you will be supplied with pizza and booze for your efforts. I’ll go grab it right now. Thank you!”

The crew moaned and grumbled, which wasn’t shocking. Toni would’ve bitched herself if she wasn’t a billionaire and had to do this all herself. What was shocking was the one icy grin she was receiving from a man in the back. It was enough to catch her off her guard, she had to admit. There was something about him…

Pepper glanced over to her boss and rolled her eyes. “I know that look, and no, you can’t. You have to stay focused, Toni.”

Breaking out of her trance, dark mocha wavy locks shook with her head. “What? What look? What’s breaking my focus? What?”

“You’re staring at one of the workers. No. You can’t have him.”

“Who said I wanted him?”

“The look!”

“What look?!”

Pepper sighed in exasperation as her hip shot out to the side, her lips turning downward. “The look, Toni. The look you give all your bedded victims-”

“Victims?”

“-And then you screw something up by not calling them and that is how you’ve gained your ‘playgirl’ reputation.”

“Which I’m proud of. As I recall, you were almost victim to ‘the look’ a couple times. Are you bitching about it now?”

Pep blushed and turned on her heel. “You’re cheating.”

“I’m merely using all of the pieces at my disposal. I can’t be blamed for being strategic. I’m heading over to Palmiro’s. Want anything?”

“I’m in the mood for a couple pepperoni rolls, if you don’t mind.”

The brunette grinned. “I see what you did there. All right. I’ll be back!”

It was a beautiful day in Manhattan, really. The sun was shining and it was just the right temperature. It was the perfect day to go for a stroll to the pizza shop. Maybe getting out of the lab wasn’t so bad.

Toni kept her eyes glued to her phone as she walked, running schematics on new suits and getting updates from Pepper about the project. She only glanced up when she finally reached Palmiro’s. “Hey, Poppa P!”

An older gentleman behind the counter grinned and threw his hands in the air. “Ah! Miss-a Stark! Pleasure to ‘ave you! What can we-a do for you?”

Manicured nails took the aviator sunglasses from her eyes and pushed them into her hair. “I need six of your Party Poppas, half with extra cheese, and half with pepperoni. I also need two dozen pepperoni rolls. No one makes ‘em like you.”

Poppa beamed even wider and added the items together on the cash register. “That’s-a why you’re one of my-a favorites! Comin’ right-a up!”

“Thank you,” she sang, her eyes wandering to the walls to the old photographs hanging as proud decorations. Poppa Palmiro was just a boy when his parents had migrated over from the Tuscany province of Italy. His walls were adorned with photos of his old home and his new home, and Toni enjoyed looking at each one. She was thankful his business managed to stay safe after the incident with Loki.

As she continued looking around, she suddenly felt something strong around her. It felt like icy eyes were gazing into her soul. When she turned on her heel, she saw nothing. No one was gazing at her, inside the establishment or out. The only person in the place was a little old woman cutting her pizza with a plastic fork and a knife in a booth in the back. Her chest heaved in a heavy sigh, and she focused on Poppa P behind the counter.

“Greetings, Woman of Iron.”

The way the voice spoke to her made her hair on the back of her neck stand. Growling, she whipped around and saw the very one who threw her from her penthouse at Stark Tower sitting where the old woman had been. There Loki was, donning the familiar black, green, and gold leather and metal garb he was last seen in. “What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were imprisoned.”

Loki tipped his head and snarled. “I was, thanks to you and the other ‘heroes.’ More like misfits from where I’m sitting. I was stuck in that damned muzzle for weeks, until Thor came along.”

Toni’s arms snaked over her chest as she tossed the god a cocky grin. “So you managed to escape. Big deal. We caught you before and we’ll catch you again. Thor will be here any minute to cart your ass back.”

“Come now, Stark, really. Why allow him to cart me back to a place where it’s evident I will escape from?” He offered a vicious grin as the shoulders of his armor rolled. “I mean you no harm now that I’m free of the Tesseract’s wicked hold.”

“You’ve seen what I can construct, and yet you still think I’m dumb enough to buy that you were controlled by that thing? I’m a businesswoman. I can smell shit from a mile away and right now, you reek of it.”

He chuckled darkly and gestured to the booth opposite him with long fingers. “Join me, won’t you?”

She snorted. “You already tried that. Performance issues, remember?” Nonetheless, she walked over and took a seat. What was the worst that could happen, really? “So why are you here, really? If you don’t want to dominate the world, or at least have the tools to, then why are you here? What do you gain from this?”

“So many questions from the businesswoman. I thought business was like the game of Kriger Sjakkspill.”

“What the hell is that?”

“Loosely translated in Norwegian, it’s Warrior Chess. It’s like your pathetic edition, but with more violence and actual living pawns. Either way, it requires strategy. You should be able to tell my true purpose here if you were decent at your job.”

“I’m not a psychic. Why can’t you just answer my questions?”

He grinned and leaned forward, hands clasped together under his chin. “What fun would that be? You should know I enjoy torture, and seeing my very presence seems to dig right under your skin, exactly like I like it.”

Something about the way he purred out that last part made Toni’s skin crawl, in both a good and bad way. She was about to reply when Poppa P called her to take her order. “Here-a we go, Miss-a Stark!” he declared, holding six enormous rectangle boxes with two bags on top of the stack.

Her eyes left the god not even for two seconds, and when they fixated on him again, it was the little old lady. Her lips curled into a small snarl as she rose. “Knocking” her phone out of her own hand and onto the floor beside the woman, she growled, “If you put so much as a trash can lid out of place, I won’t hesitate to destroy you. Keep it clean, and you and I might just get along. Am I understood?”

The old woman offered Toni a small smile, but Toni could see the forest green eyes of the God of Mischief she was previously sitting in front of. “Crystal clear,” he muttered. “It was nice to see you, deary,” the little old lady said.

Toni growled again before rising completely and grabbing her order. “Thank you, Poppa P. See ya later! And hey, stay safe would you?”

“Bye-a bye, Miss-a Stark! Have a good-a party!”

Outside the pizza shop, Toni called JARVIS at the tower. “Jarv, I want the place on high alert. Don’t tell the team, but I just saw Loki.”

“Miss, are you-”

“I wasn’t hallucinating, and yes, I am sure. I don’t want another security breech like last time. I’ll be home shortly.”

“As you wish, Miss Stark.”

[donheisenberg]

Top 20 TV Shows of 2017:

So this is the bit where I talk about how difficult it is to write a top 20 list because of peak TV, yada, yada, yada. If you are into TV criticism you have read it all before several over the last few years, the thing is while it might feel like a cliche it is totally true and with every year it become more true. Trying to watch everything out there is impossible and trying to then narrow down what you have watched to a list of 20 is almost as difficult. Every show on this list had an outstanding year as shown by some of the shows I left off of the list. In any other year the likes of Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Americans would be givens even if they just had middling seasons but not this year. It was truly a great year for TV and here are my top 20 shows of 2017.

Shows I Did Not Get Around to Watching/Completing That May Have Made My List: The Deuce The Handmaid’s Tail (to watch) Legion (to watch) Better Things Search Party Difficult People

Honorable Mention: Rick and Morty (season 3): Shout out to Review as well, which was excellent but just had to few episodes for me to really count it. In terms of Rick and Morty it was often in the news (or at least the twitter news) for the wrong reasons this year as a group of its fans decided to act like complete dickheads for a period of time. All of which deflected from the fact it had its best season ever. I’ve always had issues with the show and basically how pro-Rick and his asshole behavior Harmon and co seem to be and this year didn’t necessarily dissuade me of that but on a week to week basis it was crafting, ambitious and well thought out stories, at a rate the show had never before.

No 20: Fargo (season 3): As many observed this was not Fargo’s finest year and it maybe took a while to get going. It is also the case that 3 seasons in it is tougher for a show as idiosyncratic as this one to surprise us. When a seemingly major character dies in episode 1 it is less of a shock than it should be because that is what happened in season 1. Yet at the same time I so enjoyed this season and the performances by the likes of Carrie Coon (more on her later), Ewan MacGregor and David Thewlis and you still had episodes as excellent as The Law of Non-Contradiction.

No 19) Veep (season 6): Similar to Fargo this was a just slightly below average year for Veep, but even then the quality of the ensemble is so far above any other comedy out there and the quality of the writing/jokes/insults is again just of the highest order. There are few shows I enjoy more than Veep.

No 18) Master of None (Season 2): In my review I did write about how aspects of MON did frustrate me. For it’s social awareness, it is a show that wants me to desperately feel sorry for the man with seemingly the nicest/most privileged life in the world. The extent to which the show is essentially lifestyle porn at times can be a problem and the extent to which the show never questions Dev’s actions can also be a little off-putting. Yet having said that the good outweighs the bad and then some. The show crafts so many beautiful fully realized episodes and months after watching it is episodes like Thanksgiving that stick with me, more than the show’s flaws.

No 17) The Young Pope (Season 1): I’m not sure I get The Young Pope. I love it but I’m not sure I get it. Even in this age of weird TV there is something truly odd about this show. So difficult to write about because it does not conform to any conventions or labels and that’s why it makes this list. Having said all of this I’m not quite sure the show ever hit the heights of its pilot (even if it remained excellent throughout) and that’s why it is not a little bit higher.

No 16) Brockmire (Season 1): Brockmire is exactly the sort of gem that can get lost in this golden age, but for those few of us who did see it we know that it was one of the most raucous, hilarious and endearing comedies out there. I don’t know or care about baseball at all but I do love Brockmire and can’t wait til it comes back.

No 15) Brooklyn Nine Nine (season 4/5): Just as Brockmire can get lost in a sea of amazing shows, B99 is the sort of show that you can take for granted so easily but 5 seasons in and it is still full of heart and brilliant gags. More than that though this year on a couple of occasions we saw the show break-out of its comfort zone with episodes about Terry being racially profiled and more recently Rosa coming out to her less than progressive parents. Those episodes showcased a different side of the show and demonstrated how B99 is not just a great sitcom but an important one. Nine Nine!

No 14) Preacher (Season 2): Parts of season 2 of Preacher were as good as anything on TV. The opening scenes of the first two episodes, as well as standout episode Sokosha plus a whole host of other moments, showed how Preacher could execute some of the most ambitious TV out there to near perfection. It was not all perfect and the season might have benefited from being 10 episode long rather than 12 but nonetheless I love this show and it seems to only go in one direction. Bring on season 3.

No 13) GLOW (Season 1): GLOW was sort of the perfect summer show. It was funny and likable and so binge-able. Netflix makes a lot of deeply serialized shows, designed to be consumed in one sitting so as you find out what happens next. Glow was not that. What GLOW was, was a show that quickly established an ensemble of distinct and interesting characters who you wanted to spend time with and for that it was a standout show.

No 12) Better Call Saul (Season 3): It pains me to put BCS at number 12, in any other year this could be a contender for my number 1 spot but here it does quite make the top ten. Part of the reason why it is a little lower than you might have excepted is that at this stage I don’t have to tell anyone how good this show is. Into it’s third season and BCS was possibly better than ever. Certainly episodes like the chilling Lantern and in particular Chicanery mark series high points and some of the finest TV I’ve seen all year.

No 11) American Vandal (Season 1): American Vandal is a curious show. It is ostensibly a parody, yet by the time you finish it you look back and think that was funny but not funny enough to be making this list necessarily. What it was though was the most engrossing show of the year. And it all centred on the question “who drew the dicks?” Yet for the silliness of the premise I could not have been more intrigued. AV found new ground for the most tired of sub-genres, the mockumentary and in the process delivered an absurd but in many ways tragic story of a stupid but well meaning kid in high school whose life goes array for reasons that have little to do with him. Defining the pleasures of the show may not be straight, but boy was it insanely watchable-the Netflix model at its best.

No 10 )Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Season 3): Similar to B99, UKS is the sort of consistent joke machine that you can take for granted, and that many have, but for me this year there were few shows enjoyed nearly as much as it. I thought the show delivered its best season. The work of Ellie Kemper and in particular Titus Burgess can match any comedic performers on TV. Again though amidst all the laughs is a very human character study piece of an abuse victim and maybe where the show’s genius thoroughly lies  is in the way the show balances these two sides of itself.

No 9) Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Seasons 2/3): Rachel Bloom’s musical comedy/drama goes from strength to strength. Like many shows of this list it perfectly balances cartoonish sensibilities with discussions on mental health and never more so than in the first half of season 3. In addition to that though are the musical numbers. At times I’m just in awe of how spot on and clever their parodies, my favorite this year being “Let’s Generalize About Men” and for that it had to make my top ten.

No 8) Bojack Horseman (Season 4): In its 2nd and particularly 3rd seasons Bojack became a show that delivered some of the most outstanding individual episodes of television, possibly ever. Escape From LA, Fish Under Water and That’s Too Much Man are just incomparable half hours of TV. Season 4 did not deliver a single episode of quite that standard. What season 4 did do though is deliver quite possibly the show’s most consistent, revealing and hopefully season. Something we all needed at the end of the show’s previous season.

No 7) Catastrophe (Season 3): Okay it was only 6 episodes along, but I ask this question every year, is there a better written show on TV? There might be snappier dialogue out there, there might be more profound existential musings on some other show, but there is no show with more wonderfully naturalistic dialogue on now or possibly ever. Also there is not really a couple of TV I root for quite as much as Sharon and Rob and I really just want to watch the two of them on screen together as much as possible.Plus the final episode of season 3 was just the perfect send-off for Carrie Fisher and for that alone it deserves it place on my list.

No 6) Jane The Virgin (Season 3/4): Now four seasons in Jane the Virgin still has the power to surprise and hit me emotionally as much as just about any show on this list. I would go as far as to stay no episode of television this year hit me as hard as (spoilers) Michael’s death which was absolutely devestating. But when it comes to Jane the Virgin it is not just the big gut-punches that count, it is the smaller moments as well. The other scene that sticks with me most from its episodes this year is when Rogelio (often the show’s most comic presence) opens up to Xo about how he hasn’t been able to grieve properly for Michael, who was his best friend, because he knew he had to be strong for Jane while she was grieving. It is a comparatively small moment but every bit as resonant. I can take or leave all the intrigue concerning the Marbella but week after week the show delivers moments that really effect me, which even in this golden age can’t be said of too many show.

No 5) Twin Peaks (Season 3): It seems to me that Twin Peaks has either been number 1 or completely absent from every critics list. And I can understand both positions. Twin Peaks was fascinating in a way that television and art more generally rarely is. It was also incredibly and deliberately frustrating at times. I’m almost reluctant to point out how obviously frustrating parts of the revival were because I feel like I might be missing something. On the other hand because its Lynch and because he is a widely and rightly acknowledge genius I think some critics have been too forgiving of some pretty blatant narrative issues, that on another show they would have lambasted. Ultimately though it was the TV event of the year and nothing quite engaged me on a week to week basis like it did. More than anything though there were certain moments, particularly toward the end of the season, that were greater than anything else on TV this year. Moments I completely lost myself in, in ways that are quite difficult to explain and for that I won’t be forgetting the revival for a very long time.

No 4) Mr Robot (Season 3): If season 1 was clinically perfect, in a way no show since Breaking Bad has been, season 2 was an over-ambitious, definitely fascinating, mess. I was a bit of an apologist for the largely disliked second season-but even I was somewhat disappointed after the heights of season 1. Season 3 not only got the show back on track but it found a balance in the ensemble that neither season 1 (which was almost all Elliot) or season 2 (which felt like very little Elliot) had. It also starting making sense again and the show successfully battled the urge to be overly opaque or to have unnecessary twists. All of which meant that we got some of the show’s finest hours yet specifically the thrilling fifth and sixth episodes as well as the surprising and heart-warming eight hour, not to mention the finale which had a bit of everything. And for all its pessimism few shows made me happier this year, because I was so delighted to see this great show prove all the doubters wrong.

No 3) The Good Place (season 1/2): Michael Schur has secured himself a place in TV history with The Office, B99 and in particular Parks and Rec, already but with The Good Place he has gone one further. We all knew he could craft wonderfully funny and likable sitcoms, but here he has delivered a show as twisty and as engaged in huge philosophical issues as any prestige serialized drama. The Good Place is not necessarily a sad-com like many of the show’s on this list but it is possibly the most plot driven network sitcom ever. The thing is the plot has real stakes and is completely unpredictable as well. The huge twist at the end of season 1 showed that even in the age of Reddit you could pull out the rug from underneath your audience and I did not think that was possible. I don’t know how much longer they can continue it but as of now The Good Place is just about a perfect piece of television. 

No 2) Halt and Catch Fire (Season 4): Without spoiling what is number 1 on my list, when it aired I thought nothing would come near it but Halt and Catch Fire came very very close. Back in its much derided first season Halt was a jukebox spitting one antihero cliche after another. In some ways it never strayed too far from the conventions of the antihero drama but what made it different was that at a certain point it just wasn’t about antiheroes. Sure all the characters were deeply flawed, none more so than Joe, but their constant strive for something more, for some kind of connection felt so human you could not help but love them. The final four episodes were TV drama at its best and when it ended I really struggled with the notion that I would not be spending more time with these characters, but if anything made it okay it was how well they stuck the landing. Speaking of which..

No 1) The Leftovers (Season 3): No show has ever made quite the impact in such a short space of time. The Leftovers conclude its mere 28 episode run this year, just 28 episodes yet about half of them are nothing short of masterpieces. That includes just about every episode in this final run. It’s tough in just a paragraph to breakdown what made The Leftovers such a transcendent piece of television-so to be glib I’ll say it took the ambition and phantasmagoria of Twin Peaks and combined it with the heart and focus on character of Halt and Catch Fire. LOST-one of my absolute favorite shows of all time-will define Lindelof’s career but The Leftovers is ultimately a more complete and mature piece of work. The writing, performances and direction coalesced to give us something often hilarious and surprising and always deeply powerful. There may never be a show like The Leftovers again and for those reasons it was always going to be my number 1. 

[planetsam]

Can you please do some jealous Nancy fic? Btw i love your writing style ;)

Her name is Hannah.

It’s a palindrome. Backward and forward, its spelled the same. Like taco cat, which Nancy finds mildly less ridiculous than Hannah. Hannah has red braids, a button nose and wears her skirts long. All of which should not matter. It doesn’t matter. Actually. The only thing that matters is that she makes Jonathan laugh. Not even that fake laugh either, the real one. He laughs, she turns the color of her hair and suddenly she and Jonathan are a pair in every class.

She’s jealous.

She knows that she is, it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. She’s also kind of pissed off because Hannah is the most obvious thing that’s changed around school. And now she has to hear about it. Mostly she’s furious because for someone who likes honesty and openness, Jonathan can be completely blind. He has no idea what’s going on, there isn’t even any avoidance of them happening. That doesn’t save him from her wrath though. When he agrees to be Hannah’s lab partner, she doesn’t speak to him for several periods and then hands him a piece of paper.

“What’s this?” He asks.

“The number of a good optometrist,” she says, “since you need glasses so badly.”

“No I don’t,” he says slowly and she sees Hannah approaching.

“You’re right, but I thought the medical supply store for your cane and glasses was a bit much,” she snaps and walks away.

Maybe she is being unfair.

It’s hard to care though.

Other girls wanted Steve. Always. But with hindsight Nancy knows Steve was like a dream. He wasn’t hers. Jonathan on the other hand. Different story. He makes something dark and possessive ache in her chest. How many times did she see him last year and check to make sure no one else was there? Shame also wars with the jealousy and possessiveness. If she was a better person, she thinks, she might let him go.

But she isn’t.

So she wears his shirt instead.

It’s just an old flannel, worn at the seams and mended because of course he knows how to sew. She’s been sleeping in it for the better part of the month because it smells like him. He gave it to her after everything with Will and she knows she should return it. It’s chilly out and so it’s a plausible clothing option. She fiddles with several ways to wear it before she just puts it on over a white tank-top and knots it at her ribcage. She’s at her locker when she sees Jonathan walking over to her, head ducked and shoulders hunched, clearly ready to—she has no idea what he’s ready to do. Not that it matters because raises his head and stops dead in his tracks. His eyes move from her face down her body then back to her face. He looks like he’s forgotten how to talk.

She’s never been so happy to hear the bell in her entire life.

He stares at her for most of class. Not those secretive glances that he used to do, the ones she felt like pricks up her back. No, he looks at her like he can devour her. Like he can make everyone in the room go away if he just looks at her hard enough. If she was a better person she would apologize. Instead she moves her hands through her hair. She fiddles with the top button. Right before the end of class she stoops to a new low and puts on cinnamon chapstick. When she glances over Jonathan is hunched over even more than usual. And that dark, aching possessive thing claps its hands in glee.

She imagines he has never had to suffer through an erection in school.

When the bell angles she maneuvers to his side and edges them towards an old supply closet. Before she can do that he pulls her into the dark room and locks the door. Jonathan usually smells like dark room chemicals but it’s more potent. They aren’t supposed to make her wet like this. He’s got the shirt open in record time because it’s his shirt. He makes a noise even before she palms him through his jeans.

“That was—“ he begins as he’s kissing her neck.

“What you deserved,” She says, turning her head for him to have more access.

“I don’t know about that,” he says, “do you know how many times I thought about you in here? Like this?” She keens as his fingers work lower on her body, “so many times—“

“Jonathan!”

It dissolves into pants of his name and sounds that she’s pretty sure are going to get him in trouble with the av department. She buries her face in his shoulder and he catches her sounds but it doesn’t do much. When they clean themselves up as best they can, she offers the shirt back to him.

“I can wash it first,” she offers even though they both know she’s shit at laundry. He chuckles and even though she feels utterly satiated, it coils something low and warm in her belly.

“Keep it,” He says dragging the soft flannel over her shoulders.

When they go to chemistry and she sits next to her lab partner, Hannah is the very last thing thing on her mind.

[houkuaichuii]

Take My Heart & Soul

“FIC EXCHANGE. I’LL GIVE YOU THE JEALOUS-PINING-MUSTANG ANGST AND YOU GIVE ME THE ANASTASIA AU.” - Chie, 2k17.

So a couple of days ago, I had a lovely discussion with Sarah (@queenwinry), which led to me screaming at her for an Anastasia!AU RoyAi fic of the famous boat scene, whilst offering this very angsty piece in return. I do highly suggest to read her one-shot after this as a pick-me-up! So make sure to do that!!

Word Count: 3,450.

Warning: Roy’s a... well, he’s drunk and he’s sad. I was not drunk during the process of writing this, however; I was just sad.

There was something unspoken about the winter air within the East City walls, something to which the drunken man could barely describe. It was calming, more so as the feeling of numbness ran through his fingers and his toes. However, he knew that there was much more to it than he could comprehend. Perhaps it was the way it nearly made him forget the ache within him, the pain that had taken place somewhere in his chest and called it its home. Or perhaps it could have been the number of drinks he had that night, but he shook his head at the notion and told himself that he was perfectly fine and was far from the edge.

He hadn’t appeared so intoxicated either; just a man who was enjoying a stroll during an ungodly hour. But Roy Mustang was a man who had mastered the game of facades, and was more than skilled enough to hide the truth to his character when it suited him.

So yes, he was drunk; his focus a haze, his mind a mess, but he knew where he was going as he walked through the empty streets. He followed a path he knew quite well, to a destination that was entirely committed to his memory through more ways than one. Or at least he believed so.

He was going home, that was what he convinced himself to do as he exited a deserted bar. But where was his home? Was it the empty apartment in between Fourth Ave and the Sixth, or was it a woman, who was enjoying her date with another? At the thought of the latter, short laughter escaped him, his heart far from being in it. Then again, his heart was never with him to begin with, as it was with the woman for as long as he could remember.

He had unknowingly given it as a whole, and once upon a time, he surmised that she had done the same. It was the basic belief of equivalent exchange; the well-known law of alchemy. And he, as an alchemist, nonetheless, lived by those words. But it seemed like he was proven wrong at some point, because of all things considered, it was more than obvious that her heart was not his to keep.

So many emotions dwelt in his core, just as how so many unanswered questions ran through that head of his. He was supposed to be a genius, the epitome of brilliance, an erudite--- he was the Hero of Ishval, the man who climbed the ranks too fast for his age. And yet there he was with his gaze dropped to the pavement, sadness claiming the colour of his eyes. He looked so wrong, he felt wrong too, though he could not bring himself to blame anyone else for the pain he was drowning in.

He waited far too long, assumed that he still had time, that she would have still been there at the end of the line. The universe, however, had other plans and the joke was on him. God, what a fool he was.

A selfish fool.

Roy knew that he should have been happy for her, even if it meant that her happiness did not mean him. He had acknowledged it long ago that she deserved someone better; someone who had not betrayed her trust, someone who did not remind her of a war, someone who saved her life rather than a broken man who was constantly dragging it into harm’s way. The woman he loved was in a good place, and he should have been content with such a simple fact. But the truth was the truth, and he was anything but. He was miserable, surrounded by darkness and living under a grey cloud.

And so he walked, and he walked, and he walked, the chill of winter biting at his nose and his cheeks. How does one escape the dark when the sun had left?

Everywhere he went, the whispers were there. There were the looks, the rumours that just did not stop. It all began as a simple matter, the idea that a doctor had plans to court the brigadier-general’s adjutant. It became a joke in the office, and at first, the woman in subject had no means to hold it in any form of regard. But everyone saw that the man was quite serious in the way he’d send in flowers, until he suddenly came to seek the captain for a dinner.

Of course jealousy had struck Roy immediately, and he was more than tempted to step forward. But noting that she deserved a break and that it was most likely a one-time thing, he merely held his tongue.

The action was evidently a bad choice, for dinners happened again, and numerous times after, leading to the words of engagement to reach his ears.

And that was when he had finally felt the soles of his feet hit rock bottom.

Everyone looked at him with confusion in their glances, wondering as to what his thoughts truly were. He kept to himself about the matter, albeit letting out a casual smile here, and his usual shrug there. “The Captain is in warrant of a happy ending, we should all just congratulate her.” Was what he told them. Even his ‘sisters’ heard of the talk, a flash of pity in their eyes whenever an Elizabeth was mentioned by someone who was uninformed. Still, he posed the image that he was truly all right, although those who knew him also knew otherwise.

How long he walked for, he could not say, but at the end of the night, he was climbing up a set of stairs. He counted the floors as he passed them amidst his daze, till he stopped in front of a certain door. He stared at it, his chest empty, yet heavy; his shoulders slouched in spite of being overcome with familiarity. He fished his key out of his pockets, but when it came to unlocking the door, it would not turn. He cursed under his breath, thinking that what he held in his hand was the key for the car he had left behind.

“What. A. Fucking. Idiot,” He called himself, banging his head against the door in defeat, one word after the other, “Can’t even get yourself into your own apartment.”

He was just so tired; beyond exhaustion as everything pulled back to port. He hadn’t been this bad since Hughes, but even then, he still had her: the only constant thing in his life.

To which will become not so constant anymore, for she’s been ripped out of his grasp before he even got a chance. He thought himself pathetic, all the while hating the man who stole the person he once called his.

Roy was supposed to be the one to show her the endless love and affection that he always did have for her. He was supposed to be the one who’d wake her up with kisses, who’d whisper sweet promises into her ear in the warmth of their bed. He was supposed to be the one who’d hold her hand as they took a walk through the park, letting Hayate chase the butterflies that would have caught his attention. He was supposed to be the one who’d wake up in the middle of night, just to soothe the cries of a child. Their child.

Roy was supposed to be the one to take her as his wife, to have and to hold, for better and for worst, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death did them part.

He was supposed to be the one, as she was the only one for him.

Drunk and alone with his thoughts, Roy was about to sit himself down onto the floor when the knob turned and the door was pulled open. A slightly dishevelled blonde peered at him from the other side, surprise entirely too transparent in the eyes that had watched over him for so long. He was surprised as well, so to speak, because what in the world was his captain doing in his apartment? He mirrored her look through his own bleariness, blinking to clear his view.

“Sir, are you okay?” She asked, concern loud in her voice.

“What are you doing here?” He returned.

There was a pause as Hawkeye scrutinised him, a crease between her perfectly lined brows; question evident in her expression. She then stepped out and closed the door behind her, holding onto the robe that she wore.

“Did you go out drinking with the boys again, sir?”

He shrugged, “Possibly, I don’t really remember. But what are you doing here?”

“This is my apartment.”

Well, that certainly said a lot.

As realisation dawned on him, Roy released a breath, then a scoff. His gaze dropped to the floor, eyes closing without a single reply. So this was where home was--- it was where his legs had led him to. What a joke. The place he considered as home wasn’t even his own, and there he was, standing before her like a lost dog. He should have apologised and bid his goodnight, but his mind was awake and he couldn’t stop what he said next.

“Please tell me you didn’t say ‘yes’, Hawkeye.”

“Sir?”

“That--- that man, I believe that he asked for your hand in marriage. Tell me that you didn’t accept the proposal.”

“I...”

“Goddamn it, Hawkeye!” He looked at her then, albeit too fast that the world suddenly turned and he stumbled back before regaining his footing. He saw her move forward, hands reaching out to steady him, but he lifted up his palm and breathed. No, he wasn’t allowed to feel her touch, lest he was willing to lose the small control he had left.

What a shameful sight he made; face red from the alcohol, his hair unruly from the amount of times he ran his fingers through it during the night. Then to add to the list, he had just shouted at his captain even though she was far from being at fault. He shouldn’t have been there in the first place, but it was where his heart was and it seemed like his mind wanted it back; as if he was ever going to get it back.

Roy looked at the woman again, stared as he searched for words to say.

I’m sorry.

Don’t go to him.

Please don’t leave me.

I don’t want to lose you.

I can’t lose you.

I’ve always loved you.

I love you.

It was Hawkeye who broke the silence, however.

“Sir, would you like for me to walk you home?”

“Please don’t marry him.” Was the answer he gave. As short and concise as it was, it was no more than a whisper; a plea as others would have called it. “Don’t do it, Riza.”

If he hadn’t been so intoxicated, he would have noticed the effect that her first name had on her. He would have seen how her eyes widened slightly, her hand tightening its hold on her bathrobe. It was her turn to stare at him, keeping up a mask of coolness. But after a moment or so, she swallowed faintly and spoke.

“Roy, I don’t think we should discuss this matter right now.��

“Really? Because I think that this is the best time to talk about this.”

“No, it’s really not. You’re not in the right state to organise your thoughts and this discussion is over.”

“Riza, if you would just listen to me---”

She cut him off there, the sharp edge of a knife heard in her tone, “You’re drunk; you don’t even know what you’re saying, let alone will remember when you wake up tomorrow.”

“To hell I don’t!” Roy finally snapped, causing for the other to steel herself as he chose to continue, “And even if I don’t remember what I say tonight, I’ll be fine as long as I say it. You need to hear this, Riza. I need to say this, because if I don’t...”

“Roy, don’t do this.”

“If I don’t tell you that I love you now, when will I ever?”

A pause.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked.

Taking in a deep breath as he moved back against the wall behind him, Roy tried to clear his incoherent mind. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the stranger that the other might become once he said his piece. After all, he almost lost her once before, and was on the verge of losing her again. The fear sickened him to no end, even through his uninhibited state. But the truth was in dire need to be expressed, and everyone knew that a drunken man’s words were a sober man’s thoughts.

“Because I’m scared, Riza,” He told her, “I’m scared of losing you.”

He heard her step towards him tentatively, the sound of her footfall loud amongst the silence that had then fallen upon them. Still, he kept himself in the dark, finding comfort in it.

“I thought I still had time, I thought that this could wait until I reached my goal--- I thought that you knew. But then the doctor came out of nowhere, and... I don’t know. I wanted to stop it, though. I wanted to say something to stop him from pursuing you, but when I saw you laughing with him, I just couldn’t take that happiness away from you.

“You deserve it. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve this happy ending, and who am I to stop you from getting it? I’ve asked myself this question so many times throughout these past several months, and each time I do, I never get an answer. I tell myself that I have no right to step into your affairs, that you’re free to choose whomever you like. But at the same time, I realise that I’m as selfish as anyone and I start to hope that you’d find something you don’t like about him.”

Another moment of quietude, filled with nothing but a sigh from him.

“But seeing as to how things have turned out, that obviously didn’t happen and now here I am: drunk, tired, wishing that I was the one who’d hold you, wishing that I was able to freely show my love for you whenever I choose to; wishing that I was that man.

“I love you, Riza Hawkeye. And the more I think about it, the more I know that I always did love you. From the first moment you opened that door back when I was just starting out my apprenticeship, and up until this very moment, I’ve loved you.

“I love your smile, how it’s so subtle and hidden; it’s been the same for as long as I’ve known you. I love the focus in your eyes, the way your eyebrows furrow together when something’s in your mind. I love your determination, your courage, and your compassion. You are an amazing woman, Hawkeye; one hell of a woman, really.”

And as he readied himself for his final words, Roy had set his gaze upon her. What he found was unexpected, however, as rather than meeting the amber eyes he loved so dearly, what he saw was a woman with her head down, her blonde hair a curtain around her features. She had a hand to her mouth, her shoulders seemingly trembling.

“I’m sorry for all of the times I’ve hurt you. You deserve someone better than me. But Riza, please don’t go to him. Please don’t leave me. I’m not... I’m not telling you this as your commanding officer, but I’m asking you this as the boy who grew up with you, who has only ever considered you.

“I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: I can’t lose you. It is not that I don’t want to lose you, but it is more of the fact that I can’t. I know that it makes me sound selfish and egotistical, but I’m far from caring about my image at this point. This is the truth of how I feel for you, and I just need you to know that whatever happens, I will always love you.”

Unmoving from her spot, Riza did not respond, and Roy wanted nothing more than to envelope her into an embrace. For the first time in a long while, she looked so small, as delicate as he remembered her to be before the horrid of war. Oh, how he would have loved to go back to those times, when everything was simple and it was only the two of them in their world; no one else.

Just little Roy and Riza, the children who ran through open fields, the lake behind the trees being their destination. They were the children who walked under the moonlit sky, finally heading home after getting groceries from the nearby town. They were the youth who studied in candlelight together, secrets whispered between them. Just little Roy and Riza, the children who made promises to one another and were determined to keep them. Without a doubt, the promises were kept and new ones were made in their adulthood, forever binding them together.

Or maybe not.

“Riza?” Roy called, the silence suddenly becoming unbearable.

When she looked up, he was taken aback by the redness of her eyes, the tears that glinted under the hallway’s lighting. He clenched his teeth together, his hands curling into fists. He had hurt her again, and she was crying because of him. What was wrong with him?

“You are such a complete idiot,” Her voice cracked as she attempted to stifle her crying, causing for something within Roy to shatter, “Why couldn’t you just listen to me? I told you not to do this, and yet you still continued to make everything so complicated.”

Roy couldn’t hide the hurt that quickly struck his expression, her words understood immediately. He didn’t say anything, couldn’t form a response that would not have led the entire situation to an argument. Despite being as inebriated as he was then, he was earnest enough to note that he had done enough damage for the night. And so, he pushed himself off the wall, hands in his coat’s pockets and looked down on his polished shoes.

“You’re right. Maybe it would have been best if I hadn’t told you the truth, but you deserved to hear it, at least.” With that said, he squared his shoulders and raised his chin, his eyes quite sombre in comparison to the strength in his voice, “You should go back in, Captain, I’ve kept you out here long enough.”

At that second, the door opened and a man revealed himself groggily. He looked at Riza, who kept her back to him, before averting his attention to Roy. Traces of sleep was still visible across his chiselled features, and it did not go unnoticed that he was, in fact, shirtless. Roy nearly scorned at the sight of the other, vehemence growing in his being. Of course he was there, Roy wasn’t even surprised anymore.

Besides that, if he weren’t so in control, he might have set him aflame.

“Riza? What are you doing out here, it’s four in the morning.” The man asked, blinking the slumber away.

But before Hawkeye could answer, Brigadier-General Mustang spoke up, “I just needed to ask her a few things about the case. My apologies, I would have waited until later, but something urgent came up.”

“Some of us do need to sleep, Mustang,” The other countered, “Especially when Riza needs to rest after you make her work hard all day.”

“Matthew,” It was Hawkeye who raised her voice, “It’s fine. I was all ready awake and the case is vital, so it was only right for him to come to me as soon as possible. Go back in, I’ll join you soon.”

Just when the man was about to open his mouth for another retort, Mustang cleared his throat in interruption and said, “I’ve extended my stay long enough and I’ve heard what I needed to hear. Besides, the doctor’s right, you need to rest. Good night, Captain.” He gave his adjutant a short nod, although not quite meeting her eyes. He then ignored the other man, walking past him as he made his way back to the stairs. He could feel their attention on him with each measured step, his mind blank, except for the acknowledgment of the gnawing ache throughout his chest.

What a fool he was.

[rachelkulagodfrey-blog]

After 17 Hours Of Listening To “Nobody” By Mitski On a Loop, I Have Transcended

Originally published on March 4, 2019.

Last week was fucking disgusting.

Once a month, my paranoia gnaws at my entire being and I give into it. It’s a cycle that I’ve grown accustomed to in ways that I both respect and hate. I prefer isolating myself whenever this happens because 1) I love a good, sad sprawl across my bed and 2) I’m always too afraid to operate out of a reactionary place when I get this way. But this time was different. It felt heavier.

My emotional exhaustion paved the path for the physical exhaustion in a way that hadn’t happened in a few years. I couldn’t find the energy to move, let alone effectively communicate with anyone that wasn’t myself. I’ve chosen to label it as “disgusting” because of how much it felt like I was “dreaming of dreaming a thought / that could dream about a thought / that could think of dreaming a dream /where I cannot.” Shit made no sense.

I canceled – or just didn’t show up to – every obligation. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to process anything in front of me. I also wasn’t in the mood to try. I sent out a lot of “Things are bad but will get better!” type messages without really caring if things did or not. To be [frequently] numb, young, and Black. Mmmm.

Who would have fucking thought that a video of a dildo on an airport conveyor belt would have been the catalyst for my ascension from this month’s lukewarm hell?

A friend had sent me the video because they “hadn’t seen [me] in a while” and felt “the video carried [my] energy.” Me, a human manifestation of this circulating rubber dick. Very touching stuff. It made me laugh for so long, but what also caught my attention was the song playing in the background. I was bopping my head without realizing it and became determined to find it. Typing “nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody lyrics” into the Google search engine was the biggest energy output I had had all week. This moment was my introduction to “Nobody” by Mitski.

The first time I listened to the song all the way through, I thought “This is the saddest shit I’ve ever heard in my life.” But still… I wanted to DANCE. The second and third times I listened, each word knocked me out. I started to breeze through a naming process of sorts, letting my most trivial to my all-consuming insecurities come to the surface. Every single one. It was horrible. It felt like I was digging myself into an even deeper hole. I began to mourn something that I still haven’t been quite able to name. But what the mourning made room for was a sort of comforting bleakness. I wouldn’t label it as hopelessness. But a bleakness that paved the way for some absurd certainty. With a guap soundtrack.

Many of the Black womxn in my life who non-Black womxn have coded as “strong” feel stuck in a “disgusting” liminal space. While we’re tackling what it means to survive and then thrive, we’re also trying to work through what our strength looks like in a conversation with other people’s projections. And while we all probably draw our “strength” from varying, complicated sources, we are all often reminded of the ways that the collective We are not wanted. What is wanted – and arguably needed – are the livelihoods that They™ have conjured for us.

I’m pretty sure Mitski wasn’t thinking about the visibility politics of Black womxn when she wrote the song. As she explained to Genius, she was fleshing out her own loneliness after finishing the Asia/Australia leg of her tour during the winter holidays. But the sentiment of feeling so invisible no matter who is around stands so tall for so many. Beyoncé’s 2008 “Ave Maria” rendition echoed thoughts of a similar haunting: “I’ve been alone when I’m surrounded by friends/ How could the silence be so loud?” Yoncé noted the song as being one of the most personal on the album. (Yeah, she didn’t write the whole thing but she [EM]BODIED THE WORK) Mitski is by herself in her song, Beyoncé is surrounded by friends in hers, and yet both feel a sense of isolation.

To see a Japanese-American woman and a Black woman – both of whom are hypervisible by way of fame, social media, and coveted talent – air out the psychological pain/isolation that stems from no one actually knowing (or interested in knowing) you outside of how your being serves them, is as validating as it is terrifying. It makes me want to question my goals and intent even more, knowing that fame and/or money won’t make me feel less lonely. To feel wanted can be trill; to feel like a watered-down, one-dimensional version of yourself is what’s preferred, is not.

I 110% still want to be rich, though. Just to try it out. A test-run, if you will.

I hope I don’t sound too pessimistic when I say that “Nobody” gave me a revamped sense of purpose. I’ve been running around my campus with these turtle headphones singing and smiling about how “I’ve been big and small… and still nobody wants me.” Might be disorienting for an onlooker. But I love singing and dancing about my actual disorientation. I want to dance as much as I want to cry so often. Sometimes I just want to cry with someone near me. I want to create as much as I want to kill the parts of my life that I cannot change. I want to scream while also mourning the other parts that are so very difficult to change but that I’m still working trying to every day. And this BOP makes me feel like I don’t have to apologize for any of it.

New Solange dropped and so I’ve taken a break from listening to nothing but Mitski on a loop. But wow. What a moment.

[lenasaurous]

Bananas - MikaYuu

Summary: He was making eye contact with Yuichiro Hyakuya for the first time in his life. But it was far too late that he remembered he hadn’t actually bitten into the banana.

Word Count: 1216

Or you could read this on AO3

WARNINGS - There are suicide jokes and references to old political stuff. I don’t know if you may ave a problem with it? It’s a little crack thing, it’s meant to be weird and I wrote it at like 1 in the morning three years ago.

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE THE FIC! 

So my old friends and I had this game where we’d give each other a ship, preferably one we've never read but do support, and then find a fanfic for the other to read. And they have to finish it.

Now one of these friends and I had a special version of this game where we actually write this fanfiction, and it's always better if the person writing it is very unfamiliar with the ship. That is how this beauty came along. It was the very first and omg i believe it is the best. The prompt we chose was one is eating a banana. And yes. I wrote this.

This is a warning to you all. This friend really liked it and said that it was pretty good and typical (don't think I will ever believe her) This fanific may be awful. As I said she liked it but, please don't hold it against me I've never seen seraph of the end, just the wikia.

That said I really hope you like it.

AND NOW THE FIC STARTS

Bananas

He may or may not be ashamed to admit it, but Mika had been stalking someone for the majority of the time he had been at Seraph University. He had been attending for two years now.

The subject of his affections was a young man called Yuichiro. He majored in law and was the head of the debate club, his presence, at least to Mika, was everywhere around campus. Most people knew him for how fierce he was at his debates and was leading his class due to pure determination and passion. And Mika loved all of it,

He had first seen Yuu when he had been dragged to a debate and, like many, was in awe of him instantly. The ferocity with which he put his opponent down was both terrifying and inspirational and the extent to which he seemed to be enjoying it managed to get the whole room pumped. It was a big thing for students to partake in, even if it was just spectating. And since that first one, he had never missed another, and thankfully for him, no one really noticed.

However, it didn’t really stop there. Mika had had only a small taste of what was to come. He noticed him more and more around the college, their classrooms were in adjacent buildings so when he saw the other entering the law studies building as he was making his way to a modern history class he subtly changed his schedule to accommodate this fact.

He then realised that same day how during his midday class he could see Yuu having lunch with his friends on the lawn in the small circle of buildings in this wing of the university. Before he realised it his studies had taken a backseat to staring out his window. By some miracle in the last two years he hadn’t yet managed to fail.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he realised, the following day, that they shared a biological science minor. The second he saw the other his poor heart skipped a beat.

And so his life began to revolve around him and the other, to his knowledge, was completely oblivious to it. He often congratulated himself on not even having alerted any of his friends yet, at least none of them had ever brought it up.

His life was a long blissful wonderland of angst and disappointment at the knowledge that had long branded itself in his consciousness that this creepy obsession would never be met favourably and that he would probably be forever alone because of this, lucky enough to perhaps one day have the guy as his lawyer. But when he saw Yuu make a face like that he just couldn’t care, he had ice cream on his nose COME ON!?

Anyway, in the present his life had comfortably moulded around both Yu and his own small social life and was currently enjoying lunch while pouring over a history book with a perfect, unobscured view of Yu who was sat across the lawn partaking in a similar activity.

Perestroika means restructuring… foreigners were given more freedom… who was he kidding he couldn’t concentrate. He turned back to his lunch, picking out the banana and peeling away the skin. As he went to take a bite he spared a glance to look across at Yuu and he saw… green. He was met with bright, sharp green eyes and it took him a few dumbstruck seconds to realise that Yuu was looking at him. He was making eye contact with Yuichiro Hyakuya for the first time in his life.

From the distance it was slightly difficult to tell but he saw Yuu begin to blush… and then laugh… a lot… he was laughing a lot… it was adorable but he couldn’t exactly tell why he was doing it. It was far too late that he remembered he hadn’t actually bitten into the banana.

He spat it out immediately and kicked it away from him, panting and blushing furiously. He looked back over to Yuu and saw him trying and failing to recover from a laughing fit. And oh God, Mika was embarrassed. He wasn’t just embarrassed but he was going into full on panic mode, the-world-is-falling-around-me-and-I-have-nothing-left-to-live-for-where’s-the-nearest-bridge mode.

He had made eye contact with Yuu at long, long last after two long years of pining after him and the other’s head was probably filled with dirty, embarrassing thoughts that obviously put Mika in the worst light possible. He would just remember him as the banana guy. Great… he’d have to pack his bags and move to Mexico, he’d need a new identity, and quickly, maybe he could become a humble llama shepherd or something. Trump’s wall didn’t really sound so bad anymore.

“Err, are you okay?”

Slowly, ever so slowly, Mika turned to look up and saw Yuu bent over him, a highly amused but also slightly concerned look on his face.

Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh no! What was he doing here? This was way, way worse. I should be in Mexico!

“You… you don’t look very okay.” He looked more concerned this time and Mika’s mind just went on another field trip.

Why is he so cute?! No, don’t make that face! Why aren’t I speaking? Mika say something, QUICK! Hurry up you idiot just say something he thinks you’re a MADMAN! You’re just staring just spit something out already!

“I’m moving to Mexico.” Well done, you are a genius.

He was still mortified when Yuu let out an adorable little laugh. “I’m just going to ignore that. I assume you want me to.” Wh-why is he sitting down. Abort! AboRt! aBOrt! You err…  have to go. You have to Go PacK Your baGs! Screw Mexico next stop Antarctica. “If it’s my fault I’m sorry.”

“NO!” Don’t YELL! “Erm… n-no, d-don’t worry… about it…” He sighed and tried to calm himself down. Putting his thought’s in some sort of jumbled, vibrating order. “It’s my fault. I’m sorry to worry you. You should, um… just go back to your studying or… y’know… whatever.”

Yuu furrowed his brow slightly but still looked amused. That then melted away into a gentle smile and Mika thought that he maybe wouldn’t be able to take much more. “You know… after two years I would have though you would have just said ‘hey’ or something.”

The way his expression changed so quickly would make anyone think he was bipolar or something. To explain it would be implosion. He could feel his entire life falling around him, crushing his frail heart and realised that Antarctica was also out of the question. Yes, a noose would be much more suitable. “W-well… I… that is I… I really don’t have anything to say regarding that…”

“That’s okay. This may be a bad time but… now I have you here… and we’re actually talking and… well um…” He blushed slightly and Mika was now less devastated and more so utterly confused, like when a tiger in a leotard comes waltzing into your living room arm in arm with an albino naturalist in flip flops confused. “Do you want to get a drink or something…? Tomorrow… for lunch?”

Mika could do nothing but faintly nod.

FIN.

There, I'm sure you either thought it was mildly amusing and shall now go on to read something else or thought it was such a horrible representation of your otp and will spam me with hate.

Either way tell me what you think! Please! I'm an attention whore!

[sueboohscorner]

#TeenWolf Season 6B EP 13 "After Images" Aka "Palinopsia" Recap & Review

"Three things cannot be long hidden; the sun, the moon and the truth."

This week's Teen Wolf opens with a dramatic scene. Shortly after the hunt, Brett has been injured by an arrow, shot by the guidance counselor and Gerard Argent. Brett leads the hunter on a chase after pushing the arrow through his chest. Meanwhile, Brett's sister approaches Scott to ask for his help in finding Brett. She's found Brett's blood near the woods and is concerned that he's in trouble.

Both Melissa McCall and Mason experience a creepy feeling about the body they found with no face. When Melissa goes to perform an amateur autopsy on the body, lights go out, the doors to the morgue lock and she escapes the morgue screaming. Does this body remind anyone else of Jennifer Blake/The Darach? Mason seems to be having Palin Ossian after seeing the body. Creepy, right?

Chris Argent comes to help Melissa with the autopsy, and he runs away in terror (Damn! This is Chris Argent we're talking about!!). Gerard and the guidance counselor track Brett. Gerard teaches his new talent in the creepiest, most sadistic way possible as per usual. But for real though, how many of you are so excited to see Michael Hogan back on the show? He's been busy with Fargo and lots of other work. This man can act.

Mason and Corey set out with Lydia to help find Brett. Lydia, Mason, and Corey start looking for Brett. Lydia keeps seeing the number 68. She looks at a locker, number 68 incidentally, and as she shuts the locker door, a kid studying in the library hears it a seemingly telepathic ally. Another young man approaches the first kid. They have both noticed how Corey appears and disappears, showing up out of nowhere. They begin watching Mason and Corey.

The rest of the pack fights in the woods about how to hunt for Brett while Brett runs out of time. They find that there are at least two hunters out there. The pack decides not to split up. The hunters have tracked Brett underground. Thankfully, Brett leaves a stacked rocks to let his sister know where he was going. Satomi taught them this technique (heck, I'd sure love to have a teacher like Satomi if I were a werewolf). The phrase: "Three things cannot be long hidden; the sun, the moon and the truth" has been trending on Google ever since season three of Teen Wolf.

Brett hides in the rafters as the hunters argue strategy beneath him in the underground tunnels. Gerard really has it out for Scott (surprise, surprise). Brett's sister steps into a trap. Scott takes the arrow and Malia waits while Scott heals. Brett's sister wants to charge ahead, despite the fact that Scott seems to think Gerard Argent or at least hunters he has trained must be involved.

Melissa and Chris work on the body. It begins moving. The two talk to distract each other while performing the autopsy. Argent points a gun at the body. Melissa explains to Argent how being around bodies can actually induce a sense of mortal terror (cool scientific explanation, Jeff Davis, and team!) This is one of the things I believe sets Teen Wolf apart. The writing team does some excellent research. They weave science, fact, logic, stories and urban legends into an incredible tapestry of storytelling genius!

Back in the underground tunnel, Malia calls Scott out on his martyr behavior. She wants with him while the rest of the pack goes ahead to find Brett. Melissa and Chris Argent view the slides from the tissue sample Melissa took from the body. Apparently, there is nothing there--no DNA, no cell structure, nothing. Darach, anyone? Liam convinces Brett's sister that Brett is going to be okay. Apparently, Brett started playing lacrosse for his sister, accepting a lacrosse scholarship to Davenport Prep on both of their behalfs. Liam and Brett's sister smell poison in the tunnels. Gerard Argent and the guidance counselor wait for Brett and find Liam and Brett's sister instead. Gerard plans to trap and kill the entire pack. Sociopathic much? This guy is a narcissistic sociopath of the highest [lowest] order.

The kid who witnessed Corey in the library approaches Corey. He seems pretty darned agitated. Mason talks to the boy about parrot fish and changing DNA and RNA, but apparently, the kid wants to know what Corey's deal is. He stabs Corey in his hand and shows everyone how Corey heals, creating an environment of panic and fear. Teen Wolf still doesn't shy away from the social and political commentary.

Meanwhile, back in the tunnels, Scott figures out for certain that Gerard is the one hunting the pack in the tunnels. I'll bet Scott is seriously reconsidering whether or not he should've left Argent alive. I'm sure Chris feeling the same way. Gerard Argent sure is a piece of work.

Lydia stops the kid who took video of Corey healing after he stabbed Corey with a pen in the library in the hall. He's wearing a hoodie with the number 68 on the back. She mistakenly asks him about Brett, thinking he has something to do with Brett's disappearance. This kid has also undergone some DNA/RNA changes since he appears to be having visions. This seems to be a plot device which equates homophobia and being gay to having intuitive visions and being disgusted by/afraid of others with similar abilities. This kid seems to be very afraid and very conflicted and wants to turn the spotlight on someone else. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Teen Wolf is not afraid of addressing the critical issues. When Lydia touches him, the kid has a feeling that Lydia is "one of them" and runs away in fear and anger.

The pack finds Brett and Gerard Argent and friend sneak up on them with weapons and aerosolized wolfsbane and weapons with lights and sounds operating on a higher frequency. The guidance counselor doesn't trust Argent's methods. Argent, of course, has a bigger plan. He wants an army to hunt down all of the werewolves and the entire McCall pack. I wonder whether former allies like Deucalion and Theo (assuming he's still alive) will be called upon to help.

Scott and Malia find that Scott isn't healing as he should be. Malia can't seem to take Scott's pain. Malia berates both Scott and herself for not having called Stiles right away. She suggests that their promise not to call Stiles was a stupid one. She says she's afraid of losing Scott. The two hold hands. Scott says that Stiles would be okay with him and Malia being together. She is finally able to take his pain. Aww. They would be super cute together. Apparently, Kira isn't going to be a featured character in season 6B, which leaves an opening in Scott's romantic life.

Melissa and Chris have an awkward goodbye as he gets ready to leave. The two have something going on and want to stay together due to the extreme fear they're still feeling. They're both awkward about their previous interactions and they finally let each other know that they're both still attracted to one another and things proceed... awkwardly.

Lydia says that what happened was a test--that Nolan, the boy in the library is trying to make everyone afraid of that pack, that he's encouraging everyone to turn on the pack. Brett's sister Lori tries to help him out of the tunnels while the high-frequency devices flash and beep. When they escape from the tunnel, they are both runs over by Gerard Argent's car, which kills Brett and leaves Lori injured. Lori tries to take Brett's pain, but she can't. He's dead. Lori dies in the street next to Brett. Liam rushes out of the tunnel and challenges the hunters, Scott and Malia are hot on his trail. Liam exposes himself to the people of the town. Gerard has set this up to build his army. As the camera pans out, the street name is shown above Liam. He stands on the corner of Muse Ave. Pretty clever.

In scenes from the next episode of Teen Wolf, the pack is seen trying to convince the guidance counselor to stop taking advice from Gerard Argent--probably a good piece of advice for anyone who wants to, you know, live to die another day. Gerard's advice to Scott via Chris Argent is to run.

[dcmissionaries]

The Love Pub

"It's always a busy day in Kelpie's Shore, but even more so on this day. The return of Miss Dirge as a demon of all things has everyone excited to see the charismatic barkeep again! Of course, there's those that think her being a demon is bad for the neighborhood but as we can see, many have come to support her once more! We've managed to get an interview with Miss Dirge later on after the festivities so be sure to tune into News at 11 for the sure to be riveting story from our charming Irish lady!" The news crew's statement was played on most TVs in Daten's stores, on the channel itself, and even broadcast through the radio. Pastel shook her head, scratching at her still newer horns in amusement. It was the first time she'd been without her namesake in her own pub, mostly due to her rule of no weapons. No namesakes from those of the Immortal persuasion, no weapons period. She'd even enlisted the help of her friend Visor and some of the other demons. Standing behind the bar, she was already swinging out drinks and food at a rapid pace, heels clicking on the hardwood floor and air excited. A signal from her employees had her right hand barkeep taking her place so she could head up to the stage and take the microphone from the singer of her band. "Oi, oi, oi! Settle down ye rank scum!" She laughed at the loud cheer that gained her from her regulars, grin set in place. She'd missed working here! "Thankin' ye all kindly fer comin' t' me grand reopenin' an' all that! Dia duit t' ye new folk, ye'll 'ave t'scuse me elder kintypes. Nae, Ah've got some ground rules fer ye lot. Firs', no weapons. Ah'm confiscatin' namesakes from we immortal folk an' weapons alike. None that. Second, ye get tipsy ye get out. Ain' a time fer drunks here. An' last! If'n ye wanna fight, go fer it. Jus' give warnin' an' we can bust out the ol' ring fer ye! There's menus all 'round an' here's hopin' fer a ball room bash!" So saying, the band took over again and she made her way over to the next people to enter. -------------- Please note that above is the first post. Pastel's got three rules: 1. No weapons, no namesakes.  Complementary ponchos all around. 2. No getting drunk at her pub.  She won't be the reason people are idiots. 3. You want to fight, you make the request so it can be refereed. 

THE LOVE PUB Ah yes, the day of Love is upon us.  Welcome to Kelpie's Shore! --------

HITAGASHI:  "It's always a busy day in Kelpie's Shore, but even more so on this  day.  The return of Miss Dirge as a _demon_ of all things has everyone  excited to see the charismatic barkeep again!  Of course, there's  those that think her being a demon is bad for the neighborhood but as  we can see, many have come to support her once more!  We've managed to  get an interview with Miss Dirge later on after the festivities so be  sure to tune into News at 11 for the sure to be riveting story from  our charming Irish lady!"  The news crew's statement was played on  most TVs in Daten's stores, on the channel itself, and even broadcast  through the radio.  Pastel shook her head, scratching at her still  newer horns in amusement.  It was the first time she'd been without  her namesake in her own pub, mostly due to her rule of no weapons.  No  namesakes from those of the Immortal persuasion, no weapons period.  She'd even enlisted the help of her friend Visor and some of the other  demons.  Standing behind the bar, she was already swinging out drinks  and food at a rapid pace, heels clicking on the hardwood floor and air  excited.

 A signal from her employees had her right hand barkeep taking her  place so she could head up to the stage and take the microphone from  the singer of her band.

 "Oi, oi, oi!  Settle down ye rank scum!"  She laughed at the loud  cheer that gained her from her regulars, grin set in place.  She'd  _missed_ working here!  "Thankin' ye all kindly fer comin' t' me grand  reopenin' an' all that!  Dia duit t' ye new folk, ye'll 'ave t'scuse  me elder kintypes.  Nae, Ah've got some ground rules fer ye lot.  Firs', no weapons.  Ah'm confiscatin' namesakes from we immortal folk  an' weapons alike.  None that.  Second, ye get tipsy ye get out.  Ain'  a time fer drunks here.  An' last!  If'n ye wanna fight, go fer it.  Jus' give warnin' an' we can bust out the ol' ring fer ye!  There's  menus all 'round an' here's hopin' fer a ball room bash!"  So saying,  the band took over again and she made her way over to the next people  to enter.

TECHYTECHY:  "Does that, like, mean I'm already o-out?" Shorty burped, peeking her  head from the entrance with a bit of concern. She had heard some of  rules from outside, and it got her worried.... Then the blonde laughed  and hurried towards the counter, "B- Because I'm /sooo/ not drunk at  all!" Yeah ok sure.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Visor was quite excited. Luckily for her, she wasn't _dead_, so she  got to keep her oh so fabulous visor on this evening. However, it  wouldn't take a genius to realize that angels and demons with..  certain namesakes would most likely be found having to reveal some  skin. That would be nice, deffinately. Ohhh yes. Hey, don't blame her,  it's not every day you see an angel or a demon stripping. Well.  Actually if you work with the,.. Never mind. It's entertainment and  that's all that matters.  Visor leaned over to her friend once she stepped off the stage,  whispering something in her ear. "Can you imagine all the angels and  demons that will have to strip today? Oh lord" She laughed, taking her  visor off and holding it in honor of the lost clothes. What a shame.

 Scrunchy looked over at shorty somewhat nervously, fiddling her  scrunchy out of her hair. It's been _five years_ since she's taken  this thing out. What on earth is she doing. this feels so wrong. It  feels lewd. "I-I'm not sure I'm liking these rules man"_

HITAGASHI:  Stopping and staring at the obviously drunk woman in her bar, Pastel  contemplated if she would burst into flames if she sent a prayer to  God to save her from this.  Some people, she swore.

 "Me rule applies t' ye folk gettin' drunk __here__ so it ain' me fault  yer sauced."  She turned her attention to her friend with a grin  though.  "Ye've read me mind, mo chara.  Nae, wot can Ah get fer ye?"

TECHYTECHY:  Shorty pouted at Pastel, resting her chin on the counter before  whining outloud, "But I'm _nooooot_ drunk! I- I just said that!" She  hiccuped before eventually huffing and kicking her feet.

KR-O:  Fedora had already gone through a few drinks himself to forget his  woes of the company full of idiots that dawns his namesake. He  deserves this treat, but it would have been more enjoyable if he  didn't have to give up his cane and hat. Next time he should bring a  regular cane and a non-serrated hat, huh.  He gently set down his head on the bar, he could feel those immortals  coming. He could feel his liver dying already.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Cufflink was more grumpy than usually and sipped some water. Since  getting drunk wasn't an option, he stayed away from any booze as much  as possible. Even watered down alcohol can get him tipsy in an  instant. But taking off his precious cuff links, his favorite pair?  Now he truly felt anger nip at his mind; Cufflink put them in a box  lined with velvet and safely tucked them away. He wasn't losing these  darlings of his, not again.  t͡ɕʌ̹ɡo̞ɾi walked in, careful not to hit his head on the way  in. Before he hearing the no namesake rule. How... Odd. Earthlings  have to get their weapons taken so they won't go trigger happy? Oh  well, he wants to taste earth booze. t͡ɕʌ̹ɡo̞ɾi with no sense  of shame strips off his silk jeogori and folded it. He picks up a pen  and a bar napkin and writes down, "Where do I put this?"

BRIT:  Fundoshi frowned as he stood at the door. Oh... He had to take off his  underwear. Well, then.  The demon sighed and put it aside. He figured this would be for the  best, since both sides were mingling, but he was on edge being around  angels without protection.

 Jacket stood next to the Demon and looked up at him briefly before  frowning deeply, it almost came off his face.  "Will my Jacket get scuffed if I take it off? I don't know, man, this  is really I don't want to give up my pride and jOY." He whined.

TECHYTECHY:  _"Oh no, no namesake for me, I'm heartbroken,"_ Thong said to herself  playfully while waving her hand, then taking a seat. It was fine,  really. She didn't have any weapon on her anyways! She left that at  home. The succubus snickered at the sight of the other demons, clearly  unhappy with the fact of having to take off their garments or  accessories. It was cute to her.

 She crossed her legs, since that would be the best thing for her to do  in this situation. She looked towards Fundoshi's direction before  shrugging all nonchalant, "It can't be that bad? Come on, they're  stupid." Well.

DOTTIE:  Goggles ran her fingers through her hair as she entered the bar, a  little angry she had to remove her nameaake, but lets be real,  everything made her angry. She stretched with her namesake in hand and  tossed it to the side where it landed on a table in the corner, she  didint really know what else tl do with it. After her rather subtle  enterance she sat hersekd down at a table and rested her head up with  her hand, she was really not surenwhat she was even doing there and  being weaponless and.... explosionless, was making her a little  irratable to say the least.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Undershirt entered the pub without his namesake. It felt weird having  just his leather jacket on. At least it provided him some cover. He  folded his arms and looked at Shorty.

 "Looks like someone started the party early" he said.

 Wristband followed directly behind her brother. This wasn't the first  time she entered a pub before. In fact she has had a lot of drinking  experience even though she was only 19. Wristband also looked at the  band.

 "I bet we could play better" she thought.

 Bowtie entered after them. She looked around and noticed that there  were a few people here that could be classified as under aged. But she  didn't want to start something, so she let it slide.

 Baul Gag entered last and looked around with wonder in here eyes.

 "OH, I can't wait to try out all of your earth beverages. I have grown  quite bored of what they have served at home" She said as she clasped  her hands together.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Visor shook her head and placed her hand on Pastel's shoulder. "Nono,  It's not what you can do for me my dear, but instead what _I_ Can do  for _you_ ". Visor grinned. She had the stupidest valentines gift. It ��looked awful. It was orange. It was bright. It made no sense what so  ever. But it was, in and of itself, still a gift. Visor pulled out a  party hat that looked like a traffic cone. The loveliest of gifts for  the loveliest of friends. She got on one knee and bowed her head  slightly to Pastel, holding the traffic cone hat up for her friend.  _"My dearest Pastel, will you be my valentine?"_

 Meanwhile Scrunchy was having an existential crisis by the entrance.  Does she go in? does she put her hair up in a normal pony tail? Does  she steal the door knob? What do?? She froze like ice, stuck in a  constant loop. Nothing could undo the trauma that occurred when she  took out the scrunchy from her hair.

 Meanwhile in the distance, Bottie was tugging on Strappon's arm as  Cuddles strutted a rather nice _bow_ .. "Come onnn Strap! You gotta  have some fun!" He whined, looking at his teacher with a puppy dog  face before gesturing to cuddles. The crocodile had make up on for  fucks sake. Cuddles just looked like she could see the universe and  everything at once. She saw __all__ .

KR-O:  Jokki was stifling some giggles as he came up behind Fundoshi, "Should  have brought normal underwear for once. Next time I go to the store,  I'll get ya a packet of briefs." He urged the other man inside, "Come  on, maybe there's an angry Irish man in the fighting ring, I don't  want to miss that spectacle."

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  t͡ɕʌ̹ɡo̞ɾi enjoyed the slight breeze across his chest, maybe he  should take it off more often. Tilting his head and carrying his  namesake carefully and giving it to Pastel, he shows her a ripped  piece of paper with the words, "What's good to drink here?" Taking a  seat and ignoring the fact there were some stares. Screw having  whatever covering they provided.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  With a small huff the diva gave up her namesake and began  to roam a  little, texting on her phone. Ignoring the valentines, she's got a  date with a pair of stilettos she just bought. She puts her phone in  her pocket and enters the pub. "Let the Valentine's fuckery begin."  She muttered to herself and sat at the bar, looking around a little.

HITAGASHI:  Seemingly flustered, Pastel took the offered hat and placed it gently  on her own head.  The smile on her face was wide and blue.  Did she  mention she was blue?  She was beautiful with the orange anyway.

 "_Mo chara_, of course Ah'll be your Valentine!  If only ye'll be me  own."  She seemed close to tears as she pulled out a Burger Queen  crown made of paper mache.  Pastel held it out and then snickered  before turning her attention to the... alien?  Yes, that was an alien.

 "Everythin' is good t' drink!  But if'n yer lookin' fer somethin'  strong, Ah've got some sweeter whiskey fer ye."

GAMER-GODDESS:  Walking into the pub, Thigh High was surprised to hear that she has to  discard her namesake. "It's been forever since I've gone without  them..." She says begrudgingly as takes off her socks to reveal her  terribly uneven leg tan. "Goodbye my children," Thigh High sobbed as  she took a seat. "Give me the strongest thing you've got! This is  gonna be a long day."

TECHYTECHY:  "I'm not drunk!" Shorty said again, to Undershirt. This was as  interesting as this was going to get.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  "Fucking Valentine's day... Shitty holiday." Cufflink mumbled, he  wallowed in his own misery.  Jeogori's eyes sparkled, whisky? What was this drink? He must have  this. Dropping all coldness in his expression, Jeogori scribbled down,  "Please give me this whisky." His markings on his body seemed to glow  in excitement.

BRIT:  "It's not the worst thing." Funoshi replied to Thong, looking away  from her as he entered the bar. The last thing he wanted was to deal  with a succubus, today. He turned to Jokki as he entered, "Drunk  fighting is always only mildly entertaining, but if we drink it will  probably be moreso. I just want the day's paperwork to go away."

DOTTIE:  Goggles was alreary having a bad time. Not only could she not blow  anything up if she got mad but.... well no that was really all that  was upsetting her. She layed plopped her head on the table and looked  around at everybody, well ebst she could with her vision being as  blury as it was. "Annoying" she mumbled to herself. She seemed really  out of character to her normal self, she was usually so high energy  but that was usually only because she had things to excite her, right  now all that was going on was a bunch of people in a bar and a couple  drunks being well....  drunks. Furthermore it only reminded her of her  short time working as a waitress, wich ended upruptly with a few  broken legs... not hers of course.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She sees Thigh High's uneven tan and she cringes a little bit.  "Girl  I don't think any amount of alcohol with fix that mess." She says as  she casually orders some whiskey, sipping it without a care in her  small world.

BRIT:  Jacket put his namesake away gently, very reluctantly. He just wanted  food and this was making things harder, but food over precious  material goods... He guessed?  He sat next to Goggles and grinned at her.  "Heya!" He said to her, "You look bored!"

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Could've fooled me" he said as she zipped up his jacket. "I wonder  what they have to drink?" he thought.

 "Oh Jeogori my dear, what is this whiskey? It's sounds interesting!"  Baul Gag said as she looked at him. This drink intrigued her.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Scrunchy fidgeted. DOES SHE TAKE THE DOOR? DOES SHE TAKE THE HINGES?  DOES SHE STRIP? no. No stripping. Stripping was for donuts.  Specifically at the donut shop. Not today. _Not today..._

 Visor looked touched, really. This was the best thing she could ever  have asked for. She placed the crown gingerly on her head and stood  up, placing her hands firmly on her hips. With one rather loud intake  of breath, Visor boasted __"ALL HAIL THE BURGER QUEEN IN ALL HER  GLORY!"__ Ok, that felt good. She picked up Pastel in a hug and gently  kissed her friend's cheek. Oh, tonight will be fun for sure.

 .

KR-O:  Fedora slightly raised his head and looked around. All he saw was  familiar faces. Worn out places. No seriously, he recognized half of  the people coming in, but he wasn't expecting an alien to come out of  the blue. Maybe he drank too much this time around.  "So isn't there a dead pool around here? Like a betting board where  you bet who dies in the bar fight tonight?" I mean, those were pretty  standard in the pubs he goes to. Which in on itself is concerning.

HITAGASHI:  Pastel signaled to her barkeep to bring the alien some of the honey  whiskey while agreeing with her friend.  She always enjoyed it herself  after all.  She made her way over to Fundoshi and Thong, more amused  at Fundoshi's reaction than anything.  She wasn't very big on Jokki.  Filthy furries.  She smirked and passed a very beautiful blue colored  rose to Thong.

 "Fer ye, ma'am.  Ye've the right o' it.  Lovely lassies always do,  aye?"

TECHYTECHY:  Thong frowned. Damn, she was totally ignored, wasn't she? C'est la  vie, then. She didn't feel like ordering anything just yet, she kind  of wanted to see the crowd. It has been a while since she interacted  with any of these characters, and honestly she didn't recognize most  of them. Shame.

 Shorty stuck out her tongue, clicking her heels together. Hearing  little miss Diva's awful crack though, the blonde gasped and cupped  her hands over her mouth towards Thigh High. "DON'T LISTEN TO HER  BABE, YOU'RE FINE AS HELL." Well.

TECHYTECHY:  Thong blinked at the rose, then looking towards Pastel confused. The  succubus then promptly blushed and placed a hand over her cheek,  expressing her surprise. "Aw, love, what the hell! You're such a  darling, I love you!" She giggled, taking the rose. She was a sucker  for attention, and many other things

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Jeogori smiles and shrugs, he wants to so badly find out. He slides  another means for translation and wrote, "Another for Baul Gag  please." C'mon give him the drink, he wants to try everything! Jeogori  patted the empty seat next to him, offering it to Baul Gag.

BRIT:  Strappon was tugged along by Bottie, reluctant in going into the Pub.  Not only were there HEATHENS in there, the last time he had taken some  place to drink apparently lots of things went down that he couldn't  even remember. He ordered tea and he ended up drunk. HOW.

 "You don't have to tug so much. Please keep Miss... Cuddles... Close,  though." He said quietly as they entered the pub.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  As Pastel was going around greeting the customers, _the lovelies_,  Visor was making rounds giving out roses to individuals seated around  the pub. However, one deserved something much more special than just a  simple rose. Nonono, Visor approached Fudoshi with a wilted plastic  Daisy. She took a subtle bow and held the fake flower out to the  demon. "For you, the loveliest of the lovely. May light shine onto  your soul eternally. Because you sure as hell don't have light right  now."

BUMBLERBEE:  Dirndl entered the bar, surprised to be here. She normally didn't go  out to places like this. No... she preferred to stay in, and maybe  cook or clean the kitchen! But, someone had decided the little  fraulein needed a change of scenery!

 So feared was she, that the ground shook... Okay, that's not true. But  Rosary did have a certain confidence to her. Especially in her latest  number; Deep crimson dress, stilettos, with her garnet bead rosary  wrapped around middle finger and wrist like some exotic, elegant piece  of new jewelry.

 "Sister, is it really alright to be here?" Dirndl asked, fixing the  heart covered camisole she wore, and checking her capris. What odd  clothing, she thought, but itb was the Sister who requested she wear  it.

 Rosary nodded. "Of course, dear. You need to learn the ways of the  modern world. And when you're lonely, you go to a bar. Unfortunately,  beer is probably not as good here as back home." she said, the two  entering the melting pot.

GAMER-GODDESS:  Turning towards Fox Stole, Thigh High furrowed her brows "Was this  mouth just spouting shit? You're about to get these legs, yo!" the  angel warned as she flocked to Shorty in hopes of her having a better  attitude.

DOTTIE:  Goggles smiled "oooh no im hqving a great time" hertone was.... very  sarcastic. Tosay the least. She looked around the bar again at  everybody there. " that was sarcsm, just so you know." She ran a hand  throughher hair again, and yawned. " nothins goin on is all,so ya  know, im bored"

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Bowtie looked around and really didn't recognize anyone until she  looked at Thong. She felt like she might have remembered her from  before.

 "Say have we met?" she asked Thong.

 Meanwhile Undershirt sat down on the other side of Thong and ordered a  beer. He then looked at Thong. A blush spread across his face. She was  very cute.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens swung his legs in his seat next to Strappon looking around.  It smelled weird here... He kept looking around, maybe Onesie would be  here? It would be nice to have his friend here.  Jeogori grabbed a shot glass full of whisky after admiring how tiny it  was. How he loves tiny things and these cups are not helping. Quickly  downing the drink the taste astounded him. It burned like cinnamon but  tasted like a sweet treat. Warmth spreads through his body as Jeogori  drinks more whisky.

KR-O:  Jokki stared at Fundoshi, "You know, I'd prefer you sober. Last time  you decided to drink, you steamrolled me into the bed." He shivered at  the thought. Those were dark moments.  Oh but what's this? As the human approached Fundoshi, Jokki  immediately wrapped himself around the man's abdomen. He may or may  not be hiding a glare, but he was already feeling pretty disgusted  with himself over a silly thing.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Oh, thank you my dear" Baul Gag said as she sat down next to Jeogori.  She seemed to be very articulate without her namesake in her mouth.  Maybe it's just to make up for that?

HITAGASHI:  "An' me to ye as well, Miss Secrette."  Pastel winked at the succubus  and then turned her attention to what her friend did.  Her charming  smile dropped in favor of laughter at the way Visor phrased that to  Fundoshi.  Shaking her head, she turned to the new arrivals and  presented a carnation to Bowtie and a tiny dandelion to Undershirt.

 "Fer ye two.  Nae tha' ye've both got yer flowers, Ah ain' met ye yet.   Wot's yer name, lovelies?"  She hoped Visor had a flower for Jokki.  She sure didn't.  F u r r i e s.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She imitates her and pouts mockingly ,"What a cute mutt. I think not  sweetie." She  waves as she leaves and sips her alcohol.  "Hmm..what  to do..." She yawns and looks down at the rose in her hand.

BRIT:  "Oh. Thanks for, uh explaining!" Jacket laughed, "Normally people  don't tell me it's sarcasm and leave me to assume. It's hard to tell,  sometimes! You want some food or something? I'll buy."

 Fundoshi was very much surprised at the offering of this... Really  shitty looking flower.  "Oh... Uh, thanks." He said, taking it and clearing his throat, "I  don't think I'm that lovely, not I word I would use. Handsome, maybe,  but not... Lovely."  He simply gave the flower to Jokki.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "My name is Undershirt" he said as he twisted the dandelion between  his fingers. "Don't think I've ever seen you before."

 "My name is Bowtie" she said as she looked away from Thong for a  moment and looked at Pastel. "And thank you for the Carnation!"

ROAMINGPANDAS:  _Cuddles was hot and ready._

TECHYTECHY:  "Hell YEAH she will!" Shorty encouraged Thigh High. She didn't even  KNOW these two chicks, but she was all about hyping up a smack down.  It's what she was here for. "Forreal though! You're suuuper cute, I- I  don't know what her problem is!" Shorty hiccuped again before laughing  obnoxiously.

 Thong looked over to Bowtie, then looked her up and down thoughtfully  when hearing her question... She had to think about this! It'd be rude  to just assume she didn't know her. Thong was kind of certain she had  met everybody here once , in some way. "Hmm..." She mumbled, before  adding politely, "I'm not too sure... I've been gone from this  business thing for, a while?" Thong pushed her curls behind her  shoulder, then smiled at Pastel with another giggle.

 The demon was admittedly straight, but Pastel was working her heart in  ways she couldn't understand yet. Then she looked back to Bowtie,  trying to get her brain working, "Does Thong Secrette ring a bell,  maybe?"

DOTTIE:  "Uuh... sure? Food sounds good?" Her grip was tight into a fist, under  the table of course, and murder in her eyes, she was ready to kill,  maybe not jacket, she had a couple canidatw

BUMBLERBEE:  "Well, everyone seems... cozy." Rosary narrowed her eyes at the ragtag  bunch in the bar, but... prejudices aside, this wasn't the time. "Come  on, dear, let's get you at the bar into some handsome thing's arms."  Rosary grinned, pushing the young blonde lady forward.

 "Huh? Wh-what?" stammered Dirndl, being coaxed toward two barstools on  the corner. "Oh, alright..." with this, she sat, with Rosary taking  the seat adjacent.

 "Not to worry, sugar, we'll find you someone." replied the nun, who  giggled.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Hmmm" Bowtie said as she tapped her forhead. "Maybe, the name sounds  familiar, and I feel like I've seen a picture or two of you, but i  don't think we've met in person before. I'm Bowtie by the way" she  said before looking at the area in front of her. "Are you going to get  anything to drink?" She asked Thong.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Jeogori's cheeks were flushed, this alcohol was much stronger than  expected. But he wasn't drunk yet, the taste was good. Went down  smoothly. He pours several shots for Baul Gag. Before he sense the  thick aura of hatred from Cufflink. Turning his head to him, he was  amazed. /This demon was tiny/

BRIT:  Strappon picked up Cuddles and sat her at the table with the other  children. Why was he babysitting? Well, at least he could get a good  drink in, at least one. He handed Knittens and Bottie menus.  "Just... Order what you want." He said, clearing his throat.

BRIT:  Jacket grinned at Goggles before handing her a menu.  "It sucks when you come to these places alone, that's all." He said,  "You, uh... Look kinda angry."

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Oooh, thank you" Baul Gag said to Jeogori as she looked at the shots  in front of her. She took one shot. "OH my this is good!" She said as  she quickly downed the rest of the shots. She started to feel a little  wobbly. Man this stuff was strong!

KR-O:  Jokki reluctantly took the flower, but he didn't seem like he was  letting go of Fundoshi's abdomen any time soon. "Thanks..." He may as  well be a koala at this point.

 Oh great, more holy people were walking into the bar and then. Excuse  the sight Fedora was witnessing right now. He squinted as Strappon  walked in and pointed at the small group, "Where are their mothers.  What kind of bad parenting is going on here? I need to speak to them."  He was already getting riled up, he will fight these children's  parents.

TECHYTECHY:  Thong's smile was still there, but it more so froze on her face.  Scratching her face, she asked carefully, and especially quietly,  "Pictures... like... on... /line?"/ That could be dangerous to her  job. She tried to control her face from going red, but she was already  glowing. Maybe Bowtie didn't hear that.

 She attempted to change the conversation. "Uh! I was thinking on it,"  She replied this time to her actual question, "But uhhh! I don't know,  time isn't right? I mean, if someone buys me a drink, I'll take it,  but..." She grinned, her fingers in her curls, "What about you? You  drinking, then?"

GAMER-GODDESS:  Deciding to ignore Fox Stole's provocations, "God, I know right and  thank you!" Thigh High yelled enthusiastically in Shorty's direction.  "Anyways, what do you recommend? I've never been her before." She  asked calming down enough to speak in her indoor voice.

HITAGASHI:  Grinning at those around her, Pastel clapped her hands together before  her attention was centered on the pair about to fight.  Walking  towards them, she confronted Fox Stole and Thigh High directly.  Mostly Fox Stole as she seemed to be instigating it.

 "Nae, lassie, Ah ken ye've got beef wit' the other lass.  Bu' if'm  ye're gon' fight, ye're gonna fight fair.  It's the rules, aye?"  Lips  pursing, Pastel didn't seem like much at barely below five feet.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens shook his head. "Its fine.. my cousin gave me some treats for  us." He then pulls out a bag and put on the table boxes and boxes of  chocolates, cakes, cookies of various types. It was ridiculous what he  was piling on the table. He looks at Fedora and bluntly states, "My  dad is in space and my mom is 4,600 miles away!"  Jeogori nods and gives her the rest of the bottle. She can handle  herself, she's strong. He writes down, "Excuse me a moment." Jeogori  approaches Cufflink, slings him over his shoulder like a sack of  potatoes. He can't let this tiny demon get away. He sits back down  nest to Baul Gag.  Cufflink grunts at the sudden movement and shouts, "LET ME DOWN!"

DOTTIE:  "Me angry?? Nono not at all" she gave him a very pleasant smile and  croased her legs. "You know now that i look at it its kind of lat i  should probably go uh, so you have fun" Goggles patted on the back  with.... a lotof force before making her way out

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Visor stared at Fudoshi, a bit disappointed to be honest. She pulled  out another rose and gently placed it in Jokki's hair. She patted it  in place and blew the furry a tiny kiss before waving to the two of  them. "Have fun on your date, lovebirds" And with that, she left to  give more customers actual roses.

 Bottie sat at the table, and placed his hands in front of him, his  fingers intertwined with one another as he looked through the menu. He  can't read this shit. However his interest did peak when a bunch of  goodies were displayed on the table. Bottie raised his hand as if to  get Knittens' attention, "Would it be alright if I had a cake?"

 Cuddles on the other hand was quite flattered. The day was young and  there was love in the air. She scooted ever closer to the lovely  Strappon and fluttered her non-existent lashes (courtesy of Bifocals  for Cuddles' make-up.).

 Scrunchy stared at the door. It was becoming ever harder to decide  what to do. In an act of desperation, she flung her upper torso  forward and whacked her head on the door, resonating a rather loud  thud through out the establishment. Somehow, the door, nor Scrunchy,  broke,

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox pulls out her phone and checks the  order she made,"these puppies  couldn't take aanny longer." She groans and puts on a coat of pink lip  gloss , removing her  ribbon from hair. She turns to pastel and  shrugs, " fair enough." She said briefly. "You're pastel I'm  assumin'?" She raised an eyebrow.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens nodded and smiles brightly. "Ofcourse!! I insist, my cousin  will be happy you enjoy them. Now which one?" He presents 7 different  flavors of cakes. Knittens already had 3 boxes of chocolate and 2  cakes before coming.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Bowtie blushed as she looked at Thong blushing. That was not what she  had meant by that. She coughed a little. "Uh yeah actually I was." She  said to Thong before turning to behind the bar. "Could i get a  Martini, shaken not stirred?" She asked. She turned back to Thong. "So  what do you do in HQ?" she asked,

KR-O:  You ear that. That's the sound of Fedora fuming. Internally, though.  He couldn't bring himself to even speak, he was that mad.   Jokki took out his phone and played the I'm Not Your Boyfriend song  as Visor passed by. You know the song. But he didn't know what he was  trying to accomplish by playing this song, he was just embarrassing  himself. Or so he felt that way

TECHYTECHY:  "I'll put anything in my mouth, honestly!" Shorty admitted to Thigh  High, "But uhhh! I kind of don't remember anything! Pastel is like,  /SUPER BAE/ though!" She giggled without really thinking why she was  laughing. Her next hiccup launched her mind into its next thought,  then she began looking around.

 Then she found Pastel , this time over where Fox was. Oh man, she was  getting told! That was kind of funny! Actually really funny to her,  just spilling with more giggles and snickers. What a fucking child. Oh  well, she didn't want to bother her. She turned her attention to  whoever was across the counter and waved at Visor. "YOO-HOOOO~! FLOWER  CHILD~!"

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Jeogori smiles and slides the bar keep another note asking which other  drinks they had. Putting Cufflink on his lap and playing with his  ponytail he shows a note to Baul Gag. "Isn't this Demon adorable?"  Cufflink was pissed off, incredibly pissed. "Let. Me. Go." he growls  and grits his teeth. Cufflink was in no mood for any bull shit.

TECHYTECHY:  "Iiiii used to be kind of a secretary, I guess?" Thong shrugged, "Ran  errands and junk. Right now I'm in the same ball park as the others  though." She /sighed/ with some sadness, digging out her phone from  her jacket pocket. "I'm actually super lame and don't do /anything/ at  all right now..."

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Oh my he's adorable!" Baul Gag said as she laughed drunkenly. "How  old is he?"

 Wristband walked over to here brother and ordered a drink. She noticed  the blush on her brother's face and looked at Thong. She put two and  two together and smiled. "So you got the hots for her, huh? You should  make a move." She said.

 "What?! I... I do not" Undershirt said blushing harder.

 "Yes he certainly is" Baul Gag said as she ordered another shot.

HITAGASHI:  Grin stretching again, Pastel nodded at Fox.  "Ach, aye.  If'n ye're  waitin' on an order, Ah can get it express delivered 'ere.  Fer a  small fee, o' course."  Her grin seemed friendly but there was still  the fact that this girl had tried to start a fight.

 As all this chaos went on, Cammy stuck her head in the door, looking  down at the person right by her.  "Uh.  Okay."  Edging away from the  lady banging her head into the door, she tried to inch in and find her  friends.  She was told to bring air freshener though.  Weird.

OSCARK9:  Gloves walks into the pub for the fist time without his namesake. He  was not happy at all. Not because of the pub itself, but not wearing  his gloves at the pub. Beside all that, he just wants to have fun in  the pub since his friends is at the pub already. So with a little huff  he gave up his namesake and sit down at the bar seat "Man. I can't  believe that I can't wear my gloves at the pub." He said mumbling to  himself. Since he's hear already, he might as well get himself a  drink."Sir, is it okay if I have some water, please." This is gonna be  a long day for him.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Cufflink growls again, "I am a grown man and 37 years old. " He tries  to get up before Jeogori put him back on his lap.  Jeogori's eyes sparkled like a fanboy's before excitedly writing down,  "He's so young and tiny! Can I keep him? I'll take care of him!" He  looks at Baul Gag with begging eyes before pouring himself s hot of  scotch he ordered.

BUMBLERBEE:  Dirndl turned her head, watching as Gloves came in. Hm...? She smiled  briefly, though he did not look so happy. "Gloves?" she asked, glad to  see someone she recognized and had spoken to.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Bottie scratched his chin in thought before pointing to what he  thought to be chocolate. Honestly, he had no idea if he was even  pointing to cake. "..Is this chocolate cake?" he asked, pointing to  the napkins on the table. The kid was hopeless.

 Visor's eyes widened a bit in surprise. Oh boy, that was loud, but it  certainly got her attention. She turned her head a bit warily towards  the source of the sound. _Ohhhh man._ ...  Visor approached Shorty with a rose in hand. However, as she inched  ever closer, she started to realize that this special guest would  deserve more than a meager rose. Reaching into her bag, Visor pulled  out a flower crown and prepared to hand it to Shorty.  "Ah, yes, hello there my lovely, and how are you this fine evening?"  She smiled, gently holding out the flower crown to the drunken angel.  "If I may- You would look beautiful with this if I may be so bold."

BRIT:  "I don't see how you need to fight their parents or if that's going to  do you any good. I'm taking fine care of them, this is an eating  establishment. I'm babysitting." Strappon snorted at Fedora. He was  also apparently on a date with a reptile, he thought, before looking  at the near dealer display of cakes. This was excessive for a child,  "Don't you want to eat real food?"

 Fundoshi stared at Visor before looking down at Jokki. What the hell  just happened??  "Jokki... What are you doing?" He asked simply.

 Jacket blinked. Oh, well that's interesting. He was dumped before he  even tried. Not that he was trying.  He walked up to the door that he heard the cracking on and opened it  to see Scrunchy.  "Are... You going to be okay?" He asked the disgruntled girl.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox chuckles softly , " thanks, but I might as well behave while I'm  here, don't feel like getting my heel lodged in anyone just yet." She  grinned. "Sound like a good idea Pas?"

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens tilts his head confused. Real food? "I already ate 3 bowls of  beef stew and a ham sandwich for lunch today. My cousin is a cook so  he makes lots of food as practice."

TECHYTECHY:  Shorty gasped with the innocence of a child being presented her first  toy on Christmas day. It was an assortment of motherfucking flowers...  /on her head./ "Duuude, holy shit," she said wide eyes, "I wanted to  get this girl a drink, not a gift! Oh my Godddddddd--"

 This was so much for her. She really didn't even hear the compliments,  because she sucked like that! Instead, she took off the flower crown  and put it on Thigh High's head, "It's not a drink, but I think this  is fine too! Maybe?" Shorty turned to Visor, then kissing her own hand  and laying the kissed hand on Visor's face. "You're so fucking cute,  dude!!"

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Bowtie couldn't help but feel bad for Thong. "Hey it's okay, I know  this feeling. I was stripped of rank after I burned my magic school  down" Bowtie said.

 "Well if you won't, then I will" Wristband said before walking over to  Thong and tapping on her shoulder. "Hey, I think my brother's into  you."

HITAGASHI:  The woman behind the bar looked frazzled at all the people, happy when  her twin joined her and helped.  Still, that was rude.  Men didn't  work the bar.  They worked the kitchen.  Huffing, the set of sisters  set about serving up drinks.  Her smile turned to the man who called  her sir and passed him some water.  "Here you are, sir.  Please  remember all us on the floor are women.  It raises morale of the  customers, after all!"

 And then, just like that, with a screeching noise on a guitar the  music stopped as all the employees looked at Fox Stole in horror.  Why  would she do this?  Pastel's grin fled her face immediately and her  eyes narrowed.

 "Mo chara, me name is Gas Mask, me nickname is Pastel.  If'n ye won'  call me these, ye call me Miss Dirge.  Nae, Ah ken ye didn' ken but  next time, ask 'fore ye call someone somethin' like that."  Heels  clicking as she turned away and moved towards Strappon and co, the  music began again, even as a smile worked back onto her face when she  saw the children.  "Dia duit, li'l ones!  How 'bout this.  Ye split ye  a mash, then ye can have some cake."

OSCARK9:  While Gloves was drinking his water at the bar. He heard a famillier  voice that was called out to him. He turn his head to the voice that  was called to him and saw his friend Dirndl at the pud. "Oh. Hey  Dirndl." He said to her while he looks down.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens couldn't quite understand Gasmask and just nodded. Just like  his cousin always told him, just nod if you don't understand.

BUMBLERBEE:  "You don't seem so happy." Dirndl said quietly, looking down and  noticing his naked, lewdly displayed hands. "Oh, that's right.  Namesakes..." she hand gently, leaning over a few stools to speak and  hear better. She was a quiet little edelweiss. "I'm just glad I know  someone here, other than the Sister here." she chuckled briefly.

TECHYTECHY:  Thong tilted her head, blinking her eyes in a mix of amazement. "What  the hell, that's kind of super cool though?..." At least cooler than  HER reason for being demoted. She would love to have the experience of  accidentally causing destruction instead of just plain sexual  experience being her downfall. What was she, a fallen angel?

 Thong turned away from her conversation with Bowtie to someone also  cute. She rose a brow at the rather blunt statement though. "Your  brother?" She had to hold back from saying she couldn't blame him, but  fuck, still. "Who?" She looked to Bowtie apologetically, then  shrugging in the way of saying /'I guess this is happening now!'/

BRIT:  Strappon looked at the demon with a bit of surprise, then realized it  was someone he'd once known.  "Pastel? You... Joined the Dark Side, did you?" He asked, the shock  apparent in his voice.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Scrunchy stared at Jacket before she placed her hands on his shoulders  to balance herself out. She shook her head no. She would not be ok.  She couldn't steel the door, the knob, the hinges, she couldn't strip,  worst of all she couldn't wear her trademarked Scrunchy.She looked at  this man with the eyes of a broken soul. All that could be heard was a  tiny whisper. _"I can't.. wear my scrunchy in here. They can't see me  like that, man."_

 Visor placed a hand on her cheek where she had just been 'kissed'. To  be honest, The angel was fairly sweet. even though she was totally  hammered. The human bowed slightly towards Shorty. "Hey, as are you~"  She said as her lips curled up into a genuinely warm smile. "I hope  you're enjoying your evening here?"

 Bottie raised his hand at Pastel. "so.. Food then cake?" He pouted.  Cuddles agreed. Somehow. That seemed morally incorrect.

KR-O:  Fedora crossed his arms and huffed, looking off in the other  direction, "Parenting is a touchy subject, I guess," he admitted. He  seated himself with the small group. Better than being surrounded by  other Immortals in his opinion.   Jokki shrugged, "Apparently trying to get a point across..." He  finally let go of Fundoshi, but not one of his shirt's sleeves.

TIMERIFTS:  Onesie finally made her appearance, however she was covered in glitter  and little bits of paper. Her plan was to make friends with everyone  here, no matter how hard that could be. She skipped into the pub and  looked around, everyone seemed a little off but she couldn't pinpoint  why exactly. She glanced around happily as she walked farther into the  bar, she had not heard any of the rules so she didn't know she was  doing a single thing wrong, she had always been a tad oblivious though

MAGNUSMATEBA:  Gauntlet drove up to this Pub in this new city he was moved to,  slamming the door of a rather expensive sports car. Typical of him, a  remainder of what he had prior to falling. He'd checked in at the  abbey he was directed to before but it seemed like there was nobody  home.

GAMER-GODDESS:  "Dan son, this a nice flower crown if I do say so myself." Thigh High  said pointing finger guns towards the pair in front of her. "Good  shit, anyways I need to get me some whiskey, I'm gonna need some if I  have to square off later! Would you like anything?" She asked Shorty.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Jeogori was basically writting down pleads to get permission to let  him keep Cufflink while all the more Cufflink shouted insults at him.

 Knittens noticed his glittery friend and waved like a mad man.  "Heeey!!! Onesie!!" He made a special gift for his friend.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "This guy" Wristband said as she pointed at Undershirt. If he didn't  take her then she would!

 Undershirt just put his face in his hands. Damn it Wristband!

 "Rude as fuck yo" Bowtie thought as the conversation was interrupted.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox blinks a couple times and shakes her head,"fine fine..sorry." What  was this? An apology!? Wow. Did not see that one coming.  Fox rolls  her eyes and takes out her mirror, checking her lipstick. Saw that  though. With a sip of her whisky she continues her browsing on her  phone.

OSCARK9:  "Yeah." He said to her and gave her a little smile. "I'm happy that  your hear as well. Want some drink since you're hear? I'm not a fan of  alcohol." He questions Dirndl.

TECHYTECHY:  Aw, she was bowing! That was totally adorable, Shorty thought to  herself! "The evening is swell and happening, I'd say!" She answered  Visor, wiggling in her seat with glee. She spun herself towards Thigh  High, realizing this could be her chance to drink. Or she could say no  and happily respect Pastel's bar rules, since Pastel was kind of a  bro.

 /"Uhhhhhhhhh..."/ Shorty answered, stretching her words rather than  pausing before answering, "YEAH! Whiskey is fine!" Fuck.

HITAGASHI:  "Aye aye, li'l one!"  Pastel ruffled Bottie's hair and waved a  waitress down.  The woman smiled, cleared the junk food from the table  and raced away to the kitchen.  She returned quickly with the  shepherd's pie for the children to eat.  "After this, ye can have yer  sweets back.  Get somethin' hearty in ye."

 Turning to Strap, however, she grinned and pulled a small little hand  fan out from... somewhere.  Turning it on and holding it to her face,  she spoke with a smirk.  "Ye underest'mate the power o' the Dark Side.  If ye will nae fight, then ye will meet yer destiny."  Yeah, she just  Vader'd.

MAGNUSMATEBA:  Gauntlet stepped in to a commotion he hadn't seen before, even with  the fallen he'd had to babysit over his previous time as a watcher. He  was told to find a Templar and spotted him among the crowd talking to  a demon as if he'd known her previously. Ignoring the rest of the  people, Gauntlet approached the man and asked him ''Excuse me sir, do  you have a minute? I was told to find you.''

BUMBLERBEE:  Dirndl blushed briefly, looking over to see Rosary... shooing her  toward Gloves! Even if it was a friend, something good might happen!  The angel scooted over, "Oh... maybe. I've nto had anything to drink  in so long." she remarked, idly stroking blonde hair.

 Rosary, meanwhile, leaned on her hands, scanning the bar.

 Who to molest... so many choices.

TECHYTECHY:  Thong tilted her head, her face now holding a much more amused smile.  She kind of wanted to laugh, but she didn't want to look rude in front  of this guy's sister! Oh my God, his sister was doing this on purpose,  wasn't she?

 "The guy hiding in his hands you mean...?" She asked, holding back a  snort. Oh my God. This was more sad than rude now. "That's kind of  cute."

TIMERIFTS:  she was much to easily distracted "Ohh hey!" she exclaimed making her  way over to her friend "Knittens hi" Onesie grinned and dropped a  mountain of friendly valentines on the table! She was much to excited  to be here, so many people to meet!!  Overalls sauntered into the bar, she had gotten tomorrow off work  which was strange but she would roll with it, she looked around and  was able to figure out that everyone had ditched their namesake, so  she stripped of her pants. She felt a little silly but hey whatever it  could be worse. She walked to the bar and ordered some shots, she was  no lightweight and booze always helped her loosen up, sometimes too  much.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens awed at the pie happily. "My mom use to make these a lot!" He  flashed the biggest smile he has to onesie and presents to her  sloppily made chocolates. "Happy Valentines, buddy! I made these all  by myself for ya!" He then proceeded to shove the pie into his face.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Visor sighed slightly, placing her hand to her forehead. Oh dear. "Ah,  remember, if you get _more_ drunk things could go bad fast-"  It was too late, the deed hath been done.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Yeah, that's him" Wristband said to Thong. "He's just really shy.  He'd love to talk to you!" Wristband grabbed her drink and took a sip.  She'd better watch how much she drinks, she's a horny drunk.

KR-O:  Raising a brow, Fedora analyzed the person that suddenly barged into  their space. He smells like an Immortal, /disgusting/ . "You have the  audacity to interrupt a conversation, huh. Wait your turn.... whoever  the hell you are."

BRIT:  Strappon smiled at the kind gesture that Knittens had done giving  Pastel chocolate before turning his attention back to Pastel, kind of  ignoring Fedora for now. He seemed mad.  "I'm pretty sure you butchered that line, but okay. I don't see the  allure of sinning." He said to her, "I'll keep a respectable distance,  but we're... Technically enemies, now."

 It was hard for him to admit. Then he was approached by another man,  one he'd never seen before.  "Looking for me? I assume you're a Fallen Angel, then. Heavenbents  come to me at my usual office hours." He said, though he was joking a  little.

 Jacket was shocked by Scrunchy's sudden reaction.  "UH?? Why not try, I dunno, putting up your hair with a regular hair  tie??" He said, rubbing the back of his neck. He was not good with  people having crises."I'm sure someone's got one! I've gotta go  without my favorite jacket, I know how you feel, bro."

OSCARK9:  "Great!" He said to her while he smile a little more. It's nice to  have someone to drink while at the pub. "You can order any drink you  want Dirndl. The bill is on me." He said to Dirndl.

GAMER-GODDESS:  Getting up from her seat, Thigh High waltzed up to the bar with a skip  in her step. She was all fired up at the thought of getting booze.  Arriving at her destination, she leaned her elbow onto the surface  "Two shots of whiskey, please." The angel said with her best smile.

TIMERIFTS:  Onesie beamed at the people at the table, handing each a valentine  "happy love day!" she exclaimed, staring happily at the chocolate  Knittens made her "thanks so much!" she giggled and put them in her  onesie pocket, still no one had told her no namesakes but hey she  wasn't much of a fighter anyways. She looked around for a little  before standing up "I'll be back friends!" she scooped up her papers  in her arms and went to spread some cheer and make friends

BUMBLERBEE:  "What! I couldn't make you pay for me." Dirndl said in surprise,  laughing in embarrassment. The very idea! "It's such a nice offer, but  I'd feel so terrible to have you pay for me, Gloves... Are you sure?"

TECHYTECHY:  Thong giggled, but it was more like a squeak. She politely put a hand  over her mouth to laugh more softly, not wanting to appear Completely  Rude. "That's adorable, really," she insisted, then looked towards  Undershirt.

 The succubus blew a kiss before waving. Nice one.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens waved goodbye and was a chipper lad. The bar didn't seem so  bad now!  Jeogori pets Cufflink and picks him up. He should introduce himself to  the other people. He still has a mission for a teacher, He slips a  note to Baul Gag explaining, "I'm going to talk to others." Jeogori  walks over to the nearest demons to him, Overalls.

Sorry guys, I'll be back a bit later))

HITAGASHI:  Staring at Strappon incredulously, she started snickering.  "Ach,  lordy, ye're a riot.  If'n ye think Ah give a shite 'bout sides, yer  mistaken.  Also yer biased.  An' rude.  Ain' ye s'posed t' be 'bout  spreadin' love t' yer fellows?  Unless ye American lot see it  different from me kin folk."  She shrugged, turning to the new person  talking to Strappon, eyeing him curiously.  "Ye're feckin' rude, ye  ken tha'?"

MAGNUSMATEBA:  ''I am a fallen'' Gauntlet replied ''I just got the metaphorical boot.  Name's Gauntlet and I assume you want to know why I fell? '' Gauntlet  honestly hoped that the templar he was told about would not ask, but  he knew better. The humans he had worked with in the past were always  curious like that. He extended his arm to offer a hand shake to be  polite, his namesake still on from ignorance.

TIMERIFTS:  Onesie skipped off to the farthest table in the bar, thongs table and  she grinned from ear to ear "hello friends!" she chimed and handed  each person a poorly made card and stared at them in anticipation of  their reaction.  Overalls glanced at the huge alien thing "oh hey" she smiled she was a  little intimidated but she wouldn't let him know that, she was  supposed to be fearless and blah blah blah

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Undershirt gulped hard and blushed even more. "H..h..hi" he said. Oh  god, hold it together man. "So uh.. you're name's Thong right? Wait,  then that means... oh boy" he said as he glanced down and then looked  back up at Thong. He didn't think he could get any redder, but he did.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Cufflink was just frowning like hell, his angry shouts didn't work and  his throat was sore.  Jeogori waved and writes down, "Hello. my name is Jeogori and this is  my new addition to my tiny collectibles." Motioning to Cufflink with a  smile.  The demon shot a glare at Jeogori and hissed, "I am not. I'm  Cufflink."

TECHYTECHY:  Shorty clapped her hands and followed behind Thigh High with a dance  in her steps. The thought of a gal getting her booze was firing HER  up. Fuck yeah! "Oh man, did I actually say my name?" Shorty asked  outloud, her eyes going wide. "Fuck, I'm awful! I mean, uh, I- I'm  Shorty, not Awful!" The WORST.

BRIT:  Strappon looked down at Gauntlet's extended hand as sighed.  "No, I don't want to hear the details. It's awfully rude of you to  assume so. I'd rather just help you become a full Angel again and save  this city from its conglomeration of sin and ghosts." He said, shaking  his hand. He wasn't much interested in another fallen, if anything it  only made him need more alcohol. He turned back to Pastel, "I  understand that I am biased, and spreading 'love' isn't my job, it's  clearing this city of the pests that Demons create. Excuse me for  assuming such on someone like yourself."

TECHYTECHY:  Thong pitied Undershirt. He was hot in a bad sort of way. Like you  wanted to hold him and make sure he was okay, sort of way. If that was  a way. This was all happening, in front of Bowtie and some dude's  sister and oh God, where was HP when she needed him. She already had  her phone out in her hand during her conversation with Bowtie, so her  fingers were already flying over the touch screen as she sent a text  to her good carrot pal.

 "Your impure thoughts are flattering, really," She mused, "Annnd you  must be Shy, then?"

GAMER-GODDESS:  Smirking at the angel's introduction, "Nice to meet you, Shorty,"  reaching her hand out "My name's Thigh High- if you couldn't tell  already!" She laughed while gesturing towards her ungodly leg tan.  Maybe one day she'll even it out.

TIMERIFTS:  Overalls nodded at them "nice to meet you both" she turned to face  them "why you at the pub tonight?" she asked, trying to make  conversation, she was kinda boring.  Onesie stared at thong, undershirt and bowtie, they probably hadn't  noticed her but she was determined to make friends with them

KR-O:  For some reason, the sound of muffled music could be heard. Was it  some chap blasting their music on high volume? Hopefully, but sadly  that wasn't the case.   The doors of the pub slammed opened, stage smoke setting into the  establishment and the music was slowly dying down for an " /OOOH  YEEESSS/ " To be heard.   A shapely leg then stuck out of the smoke and the figure that  followed announced themselves, "Gogo.... is /here/ ." Not that anybody  would care considering their intrusion would have murdered them at  this point.

OSCARK9:  "I'm sure as Jesus himself, Dirndl." He answers her. "Besides,  drinking at the pub alone is not my cup of tea. But with a friend with  me, it makes my day happy." He said to her while he gave her a smile.  "Besides, I got to apologies the bar tender for calling her a "Sir",  since I was feeling down." He said to Dirndl while felling bad for  himself. "So, yeah! Enjoy yourself!"

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "I...I just... have never been good with talking to girls, especially  pretty ones like you" he said as he took another sip. The alcohol  seemed to be taking the edge off. It also didn't help that it was  Valentine's Day and being dateless sucks.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Cufflink sighs, "Wanted to drink enough to forget about this horrid  holiday." He feels Jeogori adjust him so that he could sit down.  Flashbacks to G'oun filled his mind.  Jeogori wrote down that he wanted to know earth alcohol before hearing  Gogo's entry. Crorssing out his reason he instead writes, "What is  that?"

HITAGASHI:  Waving her hand, Pastel smirked at Strap.

 "Ach, mo chara, it's no harm, no foul.  Too li'l too late an' all that  great shite.  Nae, Mister Gauntlet, Ah've got strict rules, aye?  Gimme yer namesake.  It ain' fair if'n ye get t' keep yers an' no one  else do-"  Head snapping towards the door, she was almost, almost  ready to go over there.  Good thing she had hired help.  Behind Gogo  began to loom a large a figure, the music from Gogo cutting out  abruptly.  "Ach, thankin' ye, mo chara!"

 "It finds this creatures presence... _insulting_."  Volto Foglia  stared down at Gogo, arms crossed and smile stretched thin.  Why did  things want to fog its senses by using smoke and effects?  Very  disgusting.

TECHYTECHY:  Shorty oooh'd over Thigh High's legs, then looked back at her and  admitted "I really thought you were gonna say Kneesocks or something,  but I g-guess I was close!" Shorty pulled on the ends of her short  shorts, completely forgetting that she hadn't taken those off at the  entrance.  "How long have YOU been here??" Hopefully not forever!  Daten sucked!

TECHYTECHY:  Putting her phone on the counter for a moment, Thong then got up from  her seat and closed the distance between her and Undershirt to wrap  her arms around his neck and press her cheek against his cheek.  "You're precious! 'Being all sweet and saying compliments, what a  gentlemen!" She then pressed her lips against his cheek, giving a  kiss.

 She was doing this on purpose.

MAGNUSMATEBA:  These feelings were reciprocated by Gauntlet. ''Likewise. I'd rather  go back to being a watcher myself, no strings attached. I'm sorry I  didn't catch your name and since we're probably going to see each  other for a bit it would be useful to know, yes?'' He then looked  around, observing the scene, making silent evaluations of who he saw  around him. Many demons around the place mingling with angels. A sight  he was familiar with, working close to the borders between the north  and west.  He hadn't talked to demons often and it was a shock for Pastel to  address him. While observing the room he had noticed the sign of the  rules. No namesakes, like she was telling him. Reluctantly, he pulled  the leather gauntlets oh his hands and handed them to Pastel. ''So  sorry milady, wont happen again.'' he handed the namesakes to the  owner of the Pub ''Do you serve canadian brew here?''

BRIT:  Strappon sighed and stood up.  "I... Need to use the restroom." He said, "You, other... Human. Please  watch these precious children."

TIMERIFTS:  Onesie slipped away from the table, they were not interested  obviously, but that was okay, some people were just busy!! she smiled  and headed off to another table to make friends  Overalls shrugged "i don't have a clue who or what is is" he chuckled

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens was just a bucket of sunshine as he finished his sheperd's  pie. "Thank you lady! Your pie was delicious!!" He glances over to  Oneise and signals a thumbs up.  Jeogori raised an eyebrow and writes another note, "So it is not  common, correct?"

KR-O:  Gogo quickly straightened themselves out, a sheepish smile about their  face, "Oh, sorry darling! It's just how I make my entrances in new  places." They immediately removed their shoes, "Now, I'm not barbaric  and read the rules outside, where do I set these?"   Fedora gave a thumbs up to the Templar as he left. Oh boy.

GAMER-GODDESS:  Averting her eyes from Shorty's namesake, she ignored that topic for  the moment. Stroking her chin as if it had a beard, "I think I've been  here for a year? Maybe? Fuck, I don't know for sure but I know it's  been too damn long. How about you?" Thigh High questioned while  leaning on the bar with both her elbows.

BUMBLERBEE:  Dirndl looked

TIMERIFTS:  Overalls nodded "I guess they are not a common sight, but the seem  respectable enough" she shrugged, taking another shot, offering them  both one.  Onesie headed up to rosary and handed her a card "happy valentines  day!" she exclaimed, cheerfully as the first time, she would not let  that get her down

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Undershirt froze completely at the kiss. It felt nice, really nice.  The alcohol was starting to cloud Undershirt's judgement. And he  kissed her back. "Thanks for the compliments" he said,

BUMBLERBEE:  Dirndl looked up and about, trying to decide if at all she wanted  something to drink. "Hm." gentle finger tapped her chin, while she  noted Rosary standing up to stretch a bit. "I think, maybe just  something sweet? Or fruity?" she shrugged, not sure entirely. "This is  my first time doing anything like this."

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Cufflink forced a chuckle, "Thank you. But I get drunk rather...  Easily." He gives the shot to Jeogori. Or rather his annoyance for the  evening.  Jeogori takes both shots and licks his lips. He takes another bar  napkin and writes, "What is this? It's good."

HITAGASHI:  Her eye twitched at the question.  Though she smiled down at the  child's compliment.  "Well.  Ah've got slightly less strong Irish  brew.  Or mead.  If'n ye'd prefer somethin' softer though, Ah've got  some nice sweet honeyed mead."

 "It supposes It accepts your apology.  However, it would be best if  you put your boots over in the closet.  Miss Dirge has some slippers  for you."

BUMBLERBEE:  Rosary--now that it's her turn-- looked down to see Onesie there...  And smile softly. No longer a sexual deviant for the time, she  squatted down. "Happy Valentine's Day, sweet darling." the card was  accepted, while red polished fingers gently reached up to bring the  sweet little head over to be kissed by carmine lips in a motherly way.  "I think this will be my favorite Valentine this year."

TECHYTECHY:  "Duuude," Shorty frowned, "I've been here f-for, like, so long...  liiiike..." She started counting her fingers while one of the  bartenders placed their drinks in front of them. "I don't know! More  than two years, probably!" /Definitely/ more than two years.

 "Daten's really cool though, waaay cooler than Heaven," she said with  as much honesty as possible, "L- Like, I wouldn't mind just LIVING  here, t-b-h."

 Thong was going to leave her arms draped around Undershirt, this is  where she will stay. "It's no problem, darling," she smiled warmly,  "Just pay me back in drinks~" THERE IT IS.

TIMERIFTS:  Overalls grinned at them " Fair enough" she directed her attention to  the napkin that had some words scribbled on it "Baileys Irish cream"  she commented to the large alien  Onesie smiled brightly, she liked this feelings of being liked a lot  "I'm glad!" she was so excited to be accepted like this, she had made  a new friend!! she got a happy and giddy, competely forgetting the  mishap at the other table "i hope to see you around!"

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens got up and walked over to Onesie and whines a bit, "Onesie  I'm boooored, lets do something fun!" He wanted to play games, getting  sick of eating too much.  Jeogori made sure the name was imprinted in his brain. It was maybe  his favorite. His cheeks got more red, but no he wasn't drunk. At  least he doesn't act it.  Cufflink struggled against Jeogori's ion grip on him and looked like a  pouting child.

KR-O:  Gogo nodded and did as instructed. The slippers they received seemed  to clash with their colors but they'll accept it for now. The quickly  made ther way to these tall, red figures. They were something they  weren't familiar with and it wouldn't hurt to get acquainted. They  apparoched Jeogori, tapping his shoulder, "Well, hello tall, dark, and  handsome!"

BUMBLERBEE:  Rosary smiled softly, petting Onesie's head. "Of course you will, I  live at the Abbey." she said, slowly standing up. "You be careful in  here, and try not to cause too much mayhem." she said with a laugh,  stroking her smooth ink black locks back.

MAGNUSMATEBA:  ''No thank you Miss...'' He tried to remember the name of the place's  owner ''Pastel correct? I asked mostly out of habit. I usually don't  drink but I had to look the part to stalk the angels fallen from  gluttony back when I was a watcher.'' Gauntlet turned around to look  towards the room, leaning his back on the counter.  ''When you've been doing this job for three centuries, you start to  notice that some things never change. The drunkards and gluttonfalls  are always easy to see'' His gaze turned towards two angels discussing  how long they had been on earth though he knew there were more in the  room. Nobody had really noticed the stranger walking in. Gauntlet's  skills at blending in the crowd were still as sharp.

OSCARK9:  "It's okay, Dirndl. This is my first time too." He said to her.  "Something Sweet or Fruity, huh?" He was thinking for a minute to see  if anything that comes in his mind. "Well, the only thing that comes  in mind is a Strawberry Sundae or a Bannana Split. I know it's a  dessert kind, but how's that sound? I can ask her if they have any."  He ask Dirndl.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Whatever you say, babe, what do want?" He asked as he pulled Thong  closer.

 Meanwhile Wristband took a swig of beer and gave her brother the  thumbs up. She knew he had it in him.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Jeogori raised his eye brow and stands up going to  his full height of  8 feet and 10 inches. He was not assumed how GoGo was only a bit  shorter, unlike Cufflink who was adorably small. But noticing fighting  wasn't an option he shows a note, "Hello. I am Jeogori. And you  human?"

KR-O:  Wow, this alien was taller than expected, "Exceptionally tall..." They  grabbed the note to read it and chuckled, "Oh no dear, I'm not a  human. I'm an Angel, Gogo Boots!"

GAMER-GODDESS:  Thigh High nodded her head in, "Daten is definitely better than Heaven  when it comes to buying food and alcohol. Speaking of which, I  recently moved in down here AND goddamn is it nice! 10/10" She praised  as she downed her shot as soon as she saw it. The liquid burned  slightly as it went down, jumpstarting her nerves as she slammed the  glass on the bar "But, as nice as it is, I do miss it sometimes..."

TECHYTECHY:  "I could use a martini!" Thong smiled with glee. Hell yes, Hell yes,  free drinks and a dude to hold onto, this is what she was about.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Okay.. Angel...? The inquisitor wants to question but the desire to  drink is stronger. Jeogori still holding Cufflink, gives a note  reading, "Jeogori. What drink do you recommend? I want to try what  earth has to offer."

HITAGASHI:  "If'n yer nae gon' drink, don' ask fer it."  Her attention was mostly  on her patrons, smiling at some of the older ones as they left.  Nothing annoyed her as much as someone lying to her about ordering  drinks.  VF walked passed her, patting her on the shoulder and heading  towards the bard and more specifically towards Bowtie.  Not that  they'd interacted much but at least it knew who the demoness was.

MAGNUSMATEBA:  ''Well gee, sorry! 300 years of habits are hard to break you know?''  Gauntlet wasn't offended at the remark. He was supposed to know bar  etiquette and he broke it in a flash..

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Alright, Waiter you heard the lady!" He said. "So,you said you used  to be a secretary correct? What happened if you don't mind me asking?"  If he was buying her drinks, he'd like to get to know her at least a  little bit. It only seemed fair

KR-O:  Gogo tapped their chin, looking at the note. They got into deep  thought, then snapped their fingers, "Get a blowjob!! They're pretty  nice."

 Fedora was still keeping a sharp eye out for those kids. He swears he  is.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  A... What? What a weird drink name, Jeogori tried to put the name  through context but couldn't figure out what this drink was. He shoots  a confused look at Gogo and scribbles down, "And what's in the  drink...?"  Cufflink was also confused and raised his eyebrows.  Knittens meanwhile was not at the table and in fact was wandering  around, looking for adventure.

KR-O:  Gogo was about to speak before considering the fact that Jeogori was  literally not of this world, "Well, see deary. I can list off the  ingredients, but it's not like it'd answer what it is _exactly_ . So  just go ahead and order one to find out. They're pretty nice, I assure  you!"

MAGNUSMATEBA:  Gauntlet noticed a human with a fedora on his head looking around the  room regularly. It looked like the templar from earlier talked to him,  an associate perhaps? He walked to meet the man, feeling like if he  was a superior, he might have to meet him. Gauntlet moved towards him  and stopped. He hoped that he wouldn't have to break the ice but he  was prepared to do so if necessary.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Jeogori couldn't decide whether to trust this angel. He didn't even  know what angels are. During his deep in thought decision making he  loosened his grip on Cufflink.  Cufflink felt Jeogori's grip release and ran like hell. FREEDOM! He  ran through the bar, trying to find a place to hide.  Jeogori snapped his head at the tiny running demon but lost sight of  him. /Damn it/ Jeogri gives a note saying goodbye as he looked for his  tiny demon collectible.

KR-O:  Fedora rested his chin on the palm of his hand, making sure Knittens  didn't get into too much trouble. But suddenly, there was an  unsettling presence near him. He shifted his eyes to Gauntlet's  direction, raising a brow, "....What do you want?"

 Gogo simply stared at the note, sighing, "Ah well.."

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Cufflink hid under table and stayed silent. "Please don't notice  me..." he thought.  Jeogori walks over to Rosary and shows her a note, "Have you seen a  tiny demon?"

MAGNUSMATEBA:  Gauntlet was shocked, This guy was more serious than he thought. He  came into this somewhat confident but now, he was intimidated  although, he would never admit this. Answers rushed through his head,  and he couldn't grasp onto one until finally he replied  ''I noticed the templar, whom I still haven't got his name, tell you  to watch over everyone, correct? Also that attire makes you look  important, so I figured I might have to deal with you later on.'' This  justification was already too long and Gauntlet right hand was shaking  ever so slightly ''My name's Gauntlet and I'm just after conversation  for now.''

KR-O:  "Who, Sir Strappon? No, I'm only going to look after the humans. I  could care less for the feather balls and what they do." Especially  what happened to them.  "But whatever," he continued, "I'm Fedora." He didn't continue on from  there, he just sort of took his phone out to check messages.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Jeogori was actually lifting tables and putting them back down.  Nothing tiny escapes him. Finally he found Cufflink clinging to a  table leg.  "NO NO NOOOOO!" Cufflink shouts as he was pryed off and again carried  affectionately.

HITAGASHI:  Wandering in late to the party, a new lady came onto the scene.  She'd  been told about this place by a friend of her cousin.  The neighbor,  she thought.  She saw the lady's brother at home more than her.  Especially on Valentine's Weekend.  Grinning wide, she bounced her way  in, skipping merrily after putting her weapons in a massive closet.  Bouncing up to the bar, she hoped she could get some apple juice.  When she got it, she clapped and set up shop.

MAGNUSMATEBA:  ''I can't say I blame you sir, us 'feather balls' seem to get  celebrity status just for being angels. I've seen fallen for 3  centuries and if it makes you feel any better, we're all shitbags in  the end. I swear one day the humans will create a heaven to rival our  own...'' This conversation was obviously going to get unproductive  soon. Gauntlet had seen social conventions evolve over time and he  knew that someone pulling out their phone in this context meant 'piss  off for now' and so he decided to go back to mingling. ''Thanks for  telling me your name though, I guess we might be forced to meet again  later Fedora''

KR-O:  "Whatever, your condolences mean nothing to me when you lot keep  making human's life chaotic." He smiled a little as he was browsing  his phone, maybe someone on his hit list finally dropped dead, "As  much as I don't really want to, we will see each other."

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens whines a bit as he climbed back in his seat. "I'm boored!!  Lets play games!" he exclaims while looking at Fedora.

KR-O:  Gogo's attention was brought to the new person in the pub. Their hair.  Their was was just _perfect_ . They rushed over to the lady and sat  next to them, trying to appear as casually as possible. They rested  their arm on the bar counter, leaning to the lady they began to ask,  "Who does your hair, darling? It's absolutely _GORGEOUS_ !"

 Fedora put away his phone to pay attention to Knittens, "Alright. What  game did you have in mind?"

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  "Hmmm... Lets play hide and seek!" Knittens announced and ran to hide  while calling out, "You're it!" He crawled under the bar and motioned  for the bartender to keep silent.

HITAGASHI:  Smiling brightly, the lady turned to face Gogo while also leaning a  bit back to distance them from herself.  She remained smiling though,  sipping on her apple juice.  "Well, if I'm in a rush, it's my cousin.  But when I have the time, like today?  It's me!  I love doing my hair!   And making my dresses!  I'm Brooch Symphonia, by the way.  Who're  you?"  She bounced in place a tiny bit, eyes wide and happy.  She  loved talking fashion.

KR-O:  This kid sort of forgot the key component of hide-n-seek. Making the  other person count to 10 or something. He played along, either way, no  need to crush this child's dream. So he walked around the  establishment pretending to look for Knittens.

 "My, you have the hands of a Goddess for that hair to look like it  does. I'm Go-Go Boots, but call me Gogo."

(( OOC: Thanks all for coming but due to mod sickness and pain, this RP will be cut short and we will pick it up tomorrow! ))

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox took the card and smiled a little,"uh..thanks chica.." It's the  thought that counts fox.

Last time at the pub, Pastel was revealed to the world to be a demon. She and Visor proceeded to give people flowers.  And each other a traffic cone hat (for Pastel) and a Burger Queen crown (for Visor). People did dumb things.  People almost started a fight.  There are also children in the pub hanging out with a grumpy old pink haired man. Oh... and Gogo seems to have found a lady to cozy up with after a failed flirtation with an alien.  Good job, Gogo.

Happy Valentine's Day!

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens was under bar counter, to in the cupboards of the kitchen,  and finally giggling in the vents. Don't question this chain of  events. He took off his hat and waited patiently.  Cufflink kicked his legs and tried pulling away but Jeogori still  carried him bridal style.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox  was checking her order yet again until she got distracted by an  ad for valentines day chocolate. She shrugs and buys a shit ton of the  stuff , handing a box to everyone.

OSCARK9:  Gloves was waiting for Dirndl to answer his question to see if she  like to have a Sweet Strawberry Sundae or a Fruity Bannana Split. She  did said that she wants something Sweet or Fruity for her drink. But  he thought of desserts that comes in his mind instead of drinks. But  he doesn't know if they have any in the pub since this is his first  time at the pub and got him a little worried. So for the safe saying,  he told Dirndl to hold on for a minute and called out to the one that  he accidentally called her a 'Sir' to see if they have any. Also, owe  her an apology. "Excuse me, Miss! Is it okay if I ask you a question.  Well, 2 questions to be said."

HITAGASHI:  Giggling, Brooch smiled sweetly at Gogo.  "I don't know about that!  I  just love being pretty and making pretty things!  I have to ask the  same from you though!"  She gestured towards their general look.  "You  look _amazing_!  I really love your hair most!"

MAGNUSMATEBA:  Gauntlet had been turned away faster than he'd though by this Fedora  guy, but whatever. No harm done. His gaze turned to man, probably an  angel with a demon sitting on his lap. An unconventional sight he'd  only seen in the north, and it was rare even then. Curiosity probably  wouldn't kill this cat, hopefully, so he made himself look normal,  passing in between patrons to try and mask his approach to go sit to  the table next to this guy.   ''You look like you're having a good time'' Gauntlet said. He tried  to make it sound like it was aimed at somebody else but there was no  mistaking the fact he was talking to the man next to him, with a demon  on his lap.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Tur'tle'nek didn't really understand this human holiday called  'Valentine's Day'. A single day where you show someone how much you  love them? That's bizarre, she thought. You should do that every day,  at least that's what she believed. Anyways, Turt decided only one  thing could help her understand this day better than anything else,  and that was to experience it herself. Maybe there was something  special about this day.  After eavesdropping on a few individuals (Totally not weird for a  seven foot tall glowstick), she heard there was some sort of event  occurring in a 'Pub'. Well, Time to investigate the matter.  After making her way to Kelpie's shore, the throne walked through the  entrance, completely unaware that there were certain rules for  immortals and their namesakes in here.  Everyone appeared pre-occupied, so Turt just decided to take a seat on  the ground right by the door. Maybe she'd just observe this holiday  from a semi-safe distance.

KR-O:  "Oh please! I can't get it to look as good as this without my  stylist's help, she's the real hero here!" They took the compliment  regardless, they still haven't gotten their daily dose of ego boost.  After some time, Fedora just started to walk around kind of slow  around the pub, to give Knittens the illusion that he was actually  looking for the kid. After a bit, he asked the bar tender if it was  alright to check for something...or someone, behind the counter.  Getting the go ahead, he crouched down to where Knittens was, "Found  you."

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Undershirt's fun time was interrupted much to his chagrin. "Well I  was" he said as he adjusted Thong on his lap. He eyed this new guy  closely. "Don't think I've seen you around before." He may have been a  little tipsy, but he was sure that he didn't recognize him,

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens almost shrieked and chuckled, "You're good at-!" Before he  could finish his word he saw Tur'tle'nek and his eyes widen. That was  an alien. Aliens come from space, dad is in space, he could ask about  space..!!! Basically running from Fedora and flinging himself at  Tur'tle'nek and excitedly asks, "You're alien right?! You've been to  space?! What's it like in space? What do you eat? Have you seen my  dad? How do you get to space!?"

HITAGASHI:  It was hard not to notice a bright white creature taller than her door  entering the pub.  Eyes tracking over, she wandered towards the Throne  at the door and held out a hand.  She tried to seem calm what with  having been annoyed earlier.  Be polite to the lady almost twice your  size.  About to speak, she was interrupted by a small child and her  smile became genuine.  How cute.

 "She's magic, then!  It looks absolutely perfect!"  One hand came up  to cover her mouth as a soft yawn came forth.  "Oh, sorry, sorry!  My  cousin has twins.  They're really... _really_ energetic!  It's hard to  keep up with them!  And she had lots to do today so I've been up since  uh..."  She seemed to count backwards in her head.  "Four.  They woke  me up at four in the morning!  Yep!"

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox sighs and checks the condition of her nails ,"good to go..ish."  She yawned as she walked over to the wall, leaning against it. She  took out her phone and viewed some pictures of her baby volpe. "Mama  misses you sweetie, I'll get you later I promise."

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Turtle blinked her eyes, Well that was certainly fast. Though, she  didn't quite understand what this had to do with Valentine's.. None  the less, Turtle smiled and leaned her head forward just enough to  show she was engaging in this conversation. "Oh, space is rather huge,  but it's a beautiful thing. There's all sorts of amazing things out  there to study." She paused for a moment trying to recall all of the  boy's questions. She didn't want to leave him without answers, after  all. "I suppose I could be an alien, yes. But I'm not going to lie, I  love the produce here on earth-"  Turt stopped herself in the middle of answering, seeing as how someone  was holding a hand out to her. Still seated on the floor, Turt raised  her hand to meet Pastel's hand, giving it a gentle shake.  "Well-Hello there. I'm sorry, should I not be seated here?" Turtle  laughed, slowly standing up... Everything was so tiny in here.. "My  name's Tur'tle'nek, and you are?"

KR-O:  That was short lived. Fedora let the kid go about his day and sat back  at his table. He pouted, realizing that until the Templar relieved  himself, he was put in charge of babysitting the Abbey residents. Oh  boy.

 Gogo waved their hand dismissively, "Oh that's fine, deary. I  understand that kids can be a responsibility." They bit their bit in  an attempt to not yawn. Good job, Brooch.

MAGNUSMATEBA:  This guy's breath was starting to smell like alcohol, a hardly  noticeable hing in such an environment. He clearly wasn't drunk yet  but it would probably happen sooner or later, depending on his  tolerance.  ''Greetings, the name is Gauntlet. Yours?'' he replied, extending his  hand for a handshake and removing his hat in the presence of the lady  on the guy's lap.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens was too amazed by Tur'tle'nek's height that he couldn't think  about how he ditched Fedora. The immediate thing he tries? Climb her,  of course. This is what you do to any woman you meet. But he's trying  really hard to not be noticed!  Jeogori returns to drinking at the bar, gulping down shots like it was  nothing. The thick smell of alcohol somehow gets Cufflink a little  tipsy with his nonexistent tolerance.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Undershirt" he said as he shook Gauntlet's hand. "So when the hell  did you get here? I don't remember seeing you when we left." he said  taking a sip of beer.

 Wristband glanced over at Fedora. Since when did they get two pink  haired nerds? Taking her bottle with her, Wristband sat down next to  Fedora.

 "So, new guy, huh? I always like to see a fresh face" she said, Fresh  fuck was what she wanted to say, but there wasn't quite enough alcohol  in her system for that yet.

KR-O:  "Is that what you tell everybody new you meet?"  Barely one sentence from Wristband and Fedora already looks like he  isn't having any of it. "Guess you can say I'm new."

MAGNUSMATEBA:  ''I wasn't there, I was an hour out of Daten and nobody was home when  I got to the Abbey.''

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She sees all the tall figures and she retreats back to her seat at bar  , ordering a couple shots. She ties her hair back into a ponytail and  eats a few chocolates she bought with a small sigh."Happy valentines  day to me..." She throws away her chocolates and crosses her arms ,  resting her head on them.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "No, usually I fuck first and ask questions later" She replied with a  laugh. "Normally I get a much warmer response than that though. So  what's your story Mr. Grumpy?"

HITAGASHI:  Pastel merely snickered, gesturing towards one of her wait staff and  allowing them to bring up a taller chair.  She had a surplus after  meeting Volto Foglia.  She honestly cared more about the child right  now than her rules.  Children were so cute.

 "Oh no, oh no no, I'm so sorry!"  The girl's expression looked  heartbroken and she fidgeted with one of her pins nervously.  "I  didn't mean to make you yawn.  Usually I'm wide awake but then again,  usually I wake up at seven, not four!"  Still, Brooch seemed to droop  sadly at causing a yawn.  Man, that sucked.

MAGNUSMATEBA:  He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. '' I'm a new fall,  unfortunately. Used to be a watcher, what irony right? I asked around  town where a pink haired templar was and found  y'all. Guess I'm just  meeting people.''  Gauntlet had pulled that air of neutrality again,  It was difficult to tell if he cared of not that he fell and he was  intentionally tight lipped about the circumstances. That much was easy  to tell.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens climbed up the chair and swung his feet excitedly, he wants  to know so much more of space from someone who's been there. But he  didn't want /any/ interruptions so he waited.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Undershirt couldn't help but laugh. "Sounds like a boring fall" he  said as he swirled the drink in his glass. Angels these days are  always falling for the dumbest stuff.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Turt giggled at this child's attempt to climb her. To her, it was  honestly rather cute. She carefully reached her hands down to displace  the child from her leg so that she could lift him up herself. Now,  half-cradling the ten year old in her arms, She posed the question,  "Is that better?" She chuckled quietly,gently hugging Knittens. To be  fair, Turt could be compared to a giant sentient pillow (In a good  way).

KR-O:  "Oh," Fedora said to Wristband's first response.  "I'm not much of  a person to give out warm receptions," or at all to  begin with, "But I guess you can say I'm new. Mostly here to keep an  eye out for the Abbey residents. The Templar left but he hasn't  returned." Come to think of it, Strappon has been in the stall for  quite a while. Did he get eaten by the toilet? That'd be a tragic  death he didn't wish upon the Templar.

 "Oh no, dear!" Gogo began, "I wouldn't worry so much about some  harmless yawning. It's hard not to succumb to it."  They patted Brooch's shoulder, "Anyways, feel like having something  from here? It's all on me."

 It was strange to see the Abbey completely empty, save for the  volunteers working there, when Shades stopped by. He figured Strappon  may have taken the Angels out on a field day so that they don't get  stressed being in the Abbey 24/7. A good move, he thought. He had an  idea of where he should go, there was some establishment having a  reopening, so maybe that's where he should look. Once he parked,  Shades noticed the sign outside Kelpie's. He didn't like the idea of  handing in his namesake so he went through the trouble of leaving them  in the car and getting a pair of glasses. He just needed to see for  the day, so no big deal. As soon as he walked in through the door  frame, he spotted Undershirt having a moment. It sure was a moment.  Well dang, the man did go through with it from his Twitter rambles. He  doesn't know how to really feel about that. Either way he went up to  Undershirt to chastise him, "You, what I tell you? And..." Shades  said, slowly pointing to Gauntlet, "You... Who is you?"

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knitten's laughs while he looks how how high up he is. Nodding and  raising his mittens high with a proud smile. "I'm Knit Mittens!  Knittens for short!" He shakes the puffballs on his mittens for  dramatic effect.  Jeogori was probably drunk, he finished several bottles of sake and  whiskey with a big smile on his face. But every soldier can handle a  drink, he wasn't this weak! He will not succumb to this earth alcohol!

MAGNUSMATEBA:  ''If getting caught in a museum heist is boring to you, I don't really  want to know what's fun to you'' Gauntlet retorted, unamused by  Undershirt's comeback. This wasn't the whole story but it felt good  enough to shut him up. Was this Undershirt guy higher ranked than him?

 Another guy, visibly older than Undershirt had walked up to him,  wearing sunglasses and a very visible red coat. If Gauntlet had been  following some fallen in his jurisdiction not long ago and this guy  came up to him, his cover would have been blown for sure. No matter  since they were in other hands now. He leaned forward to extend his  hand for his traditional handshake. ''Greetings, I am Gauntlet,  watcher for the last 300 years, until now. Guess you heard that  earlier?''

HITAGASHI:  Perking up, Brooch shook her head a bit.  "I don't um... I don't  drink.  I'm not 21 yet!  I have to follow the law, right?  That and  Miss Bifocals says drinking alcohol can make you ugly.  I listen to  her, she's really old!"  She gestured to her empty glass.  "I do like  apple juice and the fruit bowls they serve here though!  My cousin  comes here when she has to go on _dates_ with gross people who don't  deserve to talk to her.  Lots of creeps."  Wow, good job rambling,  Brooch.  Kill the mood.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Dude, where the fuck is Strappon by the way? I haven't seen him in a  while" Wristband said as she tried to keep the conversation going.

 "Oh hey Shade's what's up man!" Undershirt said. "What did you tell  me? I can't quite remember. Something to do with being careful or some  shit?" he said with a cocky ass grin.

KR-O:  Shades shook Gauntlet's hand, "Yeah, that's nice. You can tell me your  sin later to see what I'm gonna have to do to help you out."  He snapped back to Undershirt and took out his phone, aggressively  looking through an app and then shoved the device into Undershirt's  face, "Pendejo, don't play dumb with me!"  He swears he's gonna choke this man one day. He'll probably deserve it  too, but today's not the day.

 "He said he had to take care of restroom business. Maybe the toilet  ate him?" said Fedora.

 "This is why asking's good, ya? But I'm intrigued by those fruit  bowls," Gogo admitted. But the later statements concerned them. "Oh  my, I'm guessing they get /taken care of/ here?"

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  After Lord knows how many shots the drunk angel waddles over to Turt  and sits next to her. She looks up at her and waves a little  bit,"H-How..how are you so tall?"  Fox slurred a bit, looking like a  small child. She hiccups after blinking a couple times in amazement.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Turt couldn't help the fact she was grinning now. Ahh, this child was  so precious, she thought. Though her amazement with this kid was cut  short due to the sharp smell of alcohol radiating from Fox's pie-hole.  That was _foul_ ... Almost defensively, Turt found herself holding  Knittens a bit more securely now, looking down to Fox. "Genetics and  time. Are you alright? Your breath is.. For lack of polite words,  disgusting beyond all belief."

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Undershirt squinted at the screen "Oh yeeaaah that. I'm still a little  sore, but I should be fine. The doctor's just bandaged my up, said I  should be fine in a few days. It was totally worth it" he said taking  another drink.

 "Pfff, sounds horrifying" Wristband said. The prospect of getting  eaten by a toilet was both terrifying and hilarious at the same time.

HITAGASHI:  Cammy, having finally seen a familiar face, wandered over to Shady.  Even if she was wary of all the men around him.  She needed to know  why she needed this bag full of air fresheners.  It's rude not to tell  a person.  But... oh.  Yeah no, she can wait.  And be patient.  And  kinda child right behind Shady because no.

 Twitching, Pastel turned her attention to the girl who had called her  Pas earlier.  What part of no getting drunk did people not get?  She  prepared to say this before she slapped her forehead.  She'd forgotten  to tell the alien to remove her namesake because of a child.  For  fuck's sake.  "Oi ain' old 'nough t' be forgettin' shite."

 "That's true!  Oh, and the fruit bowls are really good!  They give us  this honey yogurt to dip it in and it's really tasty."  One of these  fruit bowls slid into place in front of the pair and it was definitely  bigger than one person could eat.  "Uh... usually I eat these with my  cousin."  She rubbed the back of her neck at that.  Brooch's  expression shifted to one of almost forced sadness.  "And, see, the  rule is if you push someone into doing things with you here, Miss  Pastel gets to shoot you.  Or you leave!  Or you go into the fighting  ring.  If they ever choose that last one, Sleevies beats them good and  through.  She's a veteran.  She knows how to fight!"

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She pouts,"luucky, and I...I may or..maaay not've had one to  many..drink..thingys....s-sssorry about that." She blinks and looks up  at her ,"aww you...have a baby! How..m-many months old is it?"  Referring to knittens. She shook her head and slapped herself. "Fuckin  duck dicks , sorry..uh ..hi really..really tall person." She scooched  back a bit.

OSCARK9:  While Gloves is waiting for someone to come to take his order at the  bar seat. He turn his head back to Dirndl to see if she thought of any  drink that she wanted. "Man, service can take a long time to come,  huh." He said to himself. "So, Dirndl. Sorry to make you wait for who  knows how long, but have you thought of any drink that you like to  have? Or dessert if I may add?" he ask her.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens awed at her mutlicolored hair, plus it was so soft. He played  with her long hair amazed before looking at Fox and bluntly says, "120  months I think. So I'm not a baby." He puffs out his cheeks and  crosses his arms getting pouty. This usually got his point across how  mature he was.  Jeogori could barely write to communicate and his cheeks were the most  saturated hue of red; but his face remained the cold expression he  always had. He picks up Cufflink as he staggered over to a booth and  leaves a note with horrible handwriting asking for a drink to sober  him up.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She chuckles softly,"Aww , hey if you puff your cheeks like that how  am I supposed to know." She looks up at him," You'd make an adorable  baby though, even if you're older than me." She exaggerated to make  him feel better.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Turt found herself terribly conflicted. What on earth had she walked  into? Was it too late to just take this child and ollie on out?  because she was really beginning to consider that.. But-.. that would  be kidnapping, according to humans. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea  after all.  Turt really had no idea how to handle the drunken angel. But she was  now not only disgusted by the stench of her breath but now their blunt  use of curse words in front of this child. Even Pastel's use of of a  swear word wasn't as offensive to her. It was probably the smell; That  alone could ward off the entire Spanish Inquisition. Carefully  ignoring the angel, Turt turned her attention now to the demon ahead  of her. She tilted her head to the side slightly as she posed the  question to Pastel, "Ah, Pardon? Is something the matter darling?"

MAGNUSMATEBA:  ''Hold the phone, help me? The hell do you mean, you a watcher too?''  Gauntlet felt like he had found a fellow sort of 'brother in arms' but  that feeling quickly vanished. He wasn't a watcher anymore himself. He  looked to the side as if ashamed of aligning himself by this position.  It was time to run from this topic to Gauntlet. Luckily Undershirt  mentioned something about a bandage ''So what's all that about  something being totally worth it?''

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Undershirt grinned "Wouldn't your ass like to know" he said. Shifting  Thong in his lap again he finished off his drink before asking for  another. "I don't kiss and tell." He actually does a lot, he's just  being a shit lord.

KR-O:  Shades nose crinkled with the displeased expression he had on his  face, "How the fuck are we the same rank. You're /going to lose it if  you keep this up/." He had an obvious concern for Undershirt in this  regard, but perhaps he'll get to chastising him later at the Abbey. He  didn't feel like asking God to smite the guy with Thong near him.  That'd be just rude.  "Watcher? No, I'm not that. I'm more of a trainer to help these  fuckwits fight ghosts."  Undershirt was hopeless and Shades felt another presence behind him-  Oh!  "Ay, either I have shit memory or it's been a while." He said to  Cammy.

 "I mean, it'd be concerning to begin with," Fedora began, "After all,  there was an alarming death rate when that one literal shit ghost  showed up a couple years back. He remembers that so vividly. He  shuddered at the thought.

 "Now I have to try one!" That fruit bowl sounded like a great deal to  them and Gogo weren't about to leave this place without trying one,  "But at least you have support from someone. Even it if sounds kind of  brutal, it counts!"

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  "Hmph! Don't lie. Your breath smells like my cousin after every  Valentine's day, you have to be close to his age!" Knittens pouted,  and adds, "I'm no baby..!!"  Yup, Jeogori was passed out. He sleeps on the booth table with  Cufflink slowly sneaking away and sitting as far away as possible to  him, a few seats away from Gogo and Brooch. Cufflink's stomach growled  as he's reminded that he hasn't eaten at all today.  "Mother fucking appetite..." he growls and looks over the menu  angrily.

HITAGASHI:  "I... uh... well.  It's been a while!  Yes, yeah, that.  Um."  Cammy  fidgeted in place, concerned over the fact that she was so close to a  bunch of men.  Were her gang here or were Overshirt's brother and gang  here, she could manage it.  She held up the bag in her hand.  "I uh...  I got told to bring this with me?  It's got some, uh, um, some air  fresheners.  Yeah..."  By some she meant a lot.

 Pastel turned her attention back to Turt, shaking her head and smiling  politely.  "Ah'm hatin' to be an inconvenience t'ye, but ye can't be  wearin' yer namesake 'ere.  It's nae fair if'n ye get t' keep it and  no one else does.  Ye ken?"

 Smiling, Brooch pushed the fruit bowl more towards Gogo.  "Go ahead!  It's really good!  It's fresh fruit and everything."  Her head tilted  in confusion at the second statement though.  "She's not really  brutal.  She just tends to headlock them.  Which is funny since she's  only got the one arm."

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox raises an eyebrow in protest , "how old's your cousin dude..?"  She rolls her eyes,"I get it I get it , no need to get your macho  panties in a twist." She adds.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Man, Shady was fucking pissed though Undershirt didn't seem to  care."You gotta live life man" he said as he was handed another drink.  "And we're the same rank because you kept fucking up and losing  yours."

 "Oh yeah, I remember hearing about that" Wristband said. I just  laughed my ass off at the story. I mean how could you die from shit?!"  Wristband nearly fell off the chair from laughter.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  "He's... 25 I think. Not sure, he keeps crying about some girl and  being in highschool at home which is why I'm here." He rolled his eye  at the memory, his energetic cousin crying like a baby and holding him  was tiring after all morning. Why was he like that every Valentine's?  It was a tradition a this point.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She shrugs," close but no cigar, im four years younger than him.  Sounds like a real looker." She crosses her arms. "He really shouldn't  have you here though..you okay?" She raised an eyebrow.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Turt grimaced now. Oh dear, she sighed. "mm.. I don't mean any  disrespect, I really don't-" Turt paused and placed Knittens down on  the other side of herself, away from Fox. Now, with her hands free,  she could at least have a bit more mobility in her gestures that were  to follow. "It's been erm... over... a thousand years.. since this has  come off. Please understand-It gets stuck in my hair and I can't get  it out easily once it's wedged in there-" She sighed. The only loose  part about that shirt was the part around her neck. Honestly, out of  all the things that could be her namesake it was the one thing she  struggled to get off.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens shakes his head and smiles, "Don't worry, nothing an  astronaut in training can't handle! Plus he's picking me up soon!" He  gives Fox a thumbs up and looks up at Turtle.

KR-O:  Shades looked into the bag, his eyes lit up with excitement. He  fucking loves air freshener shopping, you got no clue. "Are you  selling these? I wouldn't mind taking some off your hands."  Sadly, it seems like Shades would need to hold off on these air  fresheners as he turned around to Undershirt with a thinned out smile,  "You want to, ese!?" At this point it was difficult for Shades to not  want to shake Undershirt.

 "Well...ok,  That sounds not brutal. You win." Gogo took a piece of  fruit, inspecting it a little before taking a bite out of it. They  didn't know what they were expecting, it's just fresh fruit. But  perhaps the giant alien a few seats away was now starting to get them  a little antsy. He already has a small demon in his grasp, and Gogo  didn't want to be next.

 "They were eaten by toilets and suffocated in shit," said Fedora,  "That sounds like such a bad way to go..."  Suddenly his senses tingled. "I feel animosity in the air, someone's  gonna end up fighting." He readied his phone, not wanting to miss  taking pictures if something were to actually happen. He scanned the  pub until he saw Shades and, ya. That man looked pissed off. He prayed  to the Lord for a fight.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She smiled a little," Heheh, good luck with that. Your name's mittens  right?" Fox  pauses and tilts her head to the side , looking up at  Turtle,"You need some help up there signorina..? "

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Cufflink ordered some food and watches Jeogori, making sure he doesn't  wake up any time soon. Or rather, hiding when he gets out of his  alcohol coma.  Knittens nods and again shakes his mittens, "Knittens is what everyone  calls me."

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Turt stared down at the drunken angel. Without even thinking, both of  her arms wrapped around her funbags as if to keep them safe from the  menace from below. "Please---don't touch me" she stammered. This human  holiday seemed less and less appealing.

MAGNUSMATEBA:  These dudes looked about to fight. Undershirt seemed to know the other  guy and very well at that, maybe a little too much? Interrupting this  conversation they were having, partly to avoid this angry duo building  up their emotions to having a bloody duel, Gauntlet spoke up ''I used  to be a watcher on the border of the north and west. I am now a fallen  due to greed and I got here because I was told to find a pink haired  templar and I tracked him here. The rest of, well everybody else just  happened to be here.'' Gauntlet looked back towards the man in the red  jacket. '' And I can fight already, you shouldn't need to train me old  man.''  This dude getting angry at Undershirt hadn't told Gauntlet his name  yet, not that he'd asked either but he looked older physically than  Gauntlet. On the behaviour scale, he was much younger though. Older  angels are usually less impulsive in their speech according to  Gauntlet's past experience, but times also change really fast. Old man  seemed like an ironic but funnily appropriate title, and it might  divert the anger of mister red jacket here towards him to avoid  killing Undershirt.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "See this is what I was talking about. I just want to have a drink  with my date and you want to come up and start shit. WHy don'"  Undershirt answered Shades.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "See this is what I was talking about. I just want to have a drink  with my date and you want to come up and start shit. Why don't you sit  down and join me?" Undershirt answered Shades. "Or better yet, punch  that guy" he said pointing to Gauntlet. "I don't like him that much  anyway"

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens hid behind Turtle's leg at the tense atmosphere.  Jeogori was awakened by the sense of impending blood being spilt. He  opened his eyes and rubbed his head, shakily writing down, "Damn it...  Fainted." Getting up and noticing the little demon was gone, he was a  little pissed off and his face showed it.  Cufflink fell out of his seat and hid under Gogo's table, motioning  for him to keep silent of his situation, Screw getting carried by this  mother fucker.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox backed away from the impending brawl and prepared to hide under a  table if necessary. She was not breaking a nail today, she knew that  for a fact.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Oh god Undershirt's gonna get in a fight again" she thought as she  turned around and saw Shades provoking Undershirt. This was new.

KR-O:  "You're going to drive me to drink and it ain't even New Years.."  Shades tried to calm himself down. Inhale, exhale, repeat. But then  Gaunlet had to open his mouth.  "Listen, m'dude. I honestly do not care if you do or don't know how to  fight. It's technically still my job to train those that come to our  Abbey. Aside from training, I help out people with their Sins. Some  are hopeless as you can see," Shades then pointed to Undershirt.  He inhaled and exhaled again, "Also I've been an anxious mess since  yesterday after my dinosaur went missing and let's just say my anxiety  medications ain't helping so I will be..../irritable/."

MAGNUSMATEBA:  ''A lost dino huh? Well it's not my specialty but i'm a fair tracker  so if you need help, gimme a holler'' Gauntlet got up and put his hat  back on, leaving the trouble zone. ''See you two later'' he said with  his hand waving from behind, his sweater reading 'Never be game over'.  He wandered around the pub only to end up at the bar again, sitting  there alone. He placed an order for a drink, the same as Undershirt  was drinking to not get noticed and put it on his tab. Payback for  that little comment about punching Gauntlet  Nobody had successfully  discovered this trick in the past, as long as he didn't get greedy  he'd be fine. Gauntlet truly never was game over.

HITAGASHI:  Blinking at the situation, Cammy just kind of made a face before  turning to first Gauntlet then Undershirt.  "Um, okay, yeah."  She  handed the thing of air freshener to Shady.  "You have that.  Please  don't fight you two.  I really, really, really, really don't want to  go to jail this week for breaking ribs."  Her discomfort was mostly  edging into annoyance now.  Why were people this dumb?

 "If'n ye can't, Ah understand.  There's an angel who wouldn' be able  t' easily either.  But ye mus' keep yerself calm then.  No booze, no  rough housin'."  See?  She was understanding.  Pastel sure could  handle... no.  No.  N O.  Attention get, Shady and co.

 "I love Sleevies.  I don't know how she handles having the twins  though.  They're so hard to keep from destroying things!"  She huffed,  cheeks puffing comically.  Brooch's focus did shift briefly to  Cufflink, waving at him beneath the table and turning back to Gogo.  "They managed to blow up a scooter."

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  ... What? Cufflink's interest was piqued from a child blowing up a  scooter. Coming from under the table and pulling up a chair he signals  the waiter to bring his food here and raises his eye rbow, "And... How  did this happen?"

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She watches gauntlet leave,"Hot damn.." She blinks a little bit and  cracks her knuckles quietly. "I'm just gonna prepare my ass for a  fight, juuust in case the manure hits the fan..."

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Don't worry, I'm not really in a position to fight" Undershirt said  to Cammy. Thong really did seem to like her spot on his lap and who  was he to change that.

OSCARK9:  Gloves was till waiting for some service and it's taking forever for  them to get to him, which makes him bored really fast. "Man, service  can be a drag." He mumble to himself in an anger tone. "Oh, well. At  least I got something to drink since I'm hear." He said to himself  while he's drinking his unfinished water at the bar.

(( OOC: Please note that only hitagashi has input on the serving staff at Kelpie's Shore.  This means that within a post or so, you can say you've received your order.  This is to prevent a massive wall of text that never ends from having to control the 15+ floor staff of the pub. Occasional input from these background characters may occur, but it's best not to wait on it. ))

MAGNUSMATEBA:  Gauntlet had made apparently made a mistake to try and put a drink on  a tab. He was told that it would cost him double for even asking.  ''Fucking hellbents...'' he thought as he slapped a hundred dollar  bill on the counter. Stolen of course, but nobody knew that. He shooed  the bartender who told him this off. Stuck with a hundred dollar beer  that he thought would be free. If there's one thing Gauntlet's greed  told him, it was that he HATED losing stuff, especially a perfectly  hundo dollar bill. He couldn't hold his liquor either, this was some  fairly strong stuff for a guy like him. what other option did he have  than giving it to somebody. It was a bad reminder of this whole  experience at this point.  A lady seemed to have observed him leaving the angry duo behind. She  might take the drink. He got up from the chair and walked towards her,  handing the drink to her ''Do you want this?'' he asked with only a  bit of annoyance showing through his voice, his gaze to the side  opposite of Undershirt and Shades. He really mostly hoped she would  take it so he could get rid of this damned beer. ''Ah excuse me, I  seem to have forgotten my manners.'' He took off his hat again, it was  a polite move a century ago ''My name is Gauntlet, and yours is?''

(( OOC: This is OscarK9. Oh okay. I didn't know that I can do that. Sorry about that. ))

KR-O:  Shades swatted his hand, as if shooing away Gauntlet. He took a seat  next to Undershirt, "Well, you know. I'm in a position to fight, but I  don't exactly feel like getting demoted either. Or launched into  Hell." He paused for a bit.  "My body's kind of shit too, there's that."  Accepting the bag of air fresheners, Shades settled on to it as if to  hug it. And he honestly needed a hug, "Ah yeah, sorry about that  Cammy. I'm just nervous. What if Delta ate someone? She's not exactly  small, she BIG!" His breathing began to get faster. Calm down man,  what harm can one teenage dino do.

 Fedora set down his phone in disappointment, "What the hell? I was so  ready to see teeth getting knocked out. This is pretty lame." Though,  at the same time he was thankful, no need for Angels to cause a bigger  raucous.

 "My, well aren't they an energetic duo," said Gogo, "But do go on,  this sounds rather interesting."

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She sighs,"hmph ..just gonna wait the ads kicking out. Should get  interesting." Fox said with a shrug. She'd volunteer as the fighting  tribute but ain't nobody got time for that.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Yeah and I don't want to fight you anyway. So, you want anything?"  Undershirt asked Shades. "You seem pretty stressed out there."

 "Wow, that was incredible, actually!" Wristband said to Fedora. That  was the first time she'd EVER seen her brother not fight when  provoked. It seemed kind of surreal to her. Maybe the alcohol was  stronger than she thought.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Jeogori was probably too drunk or dumb not to notice Cufflink  literally sitting in front of him so he wallows in misery at the bar,  drinking the rest of his sake.

KR-O:  "The sweet release of death," Shades responded. That's all he could  muster saying at the moment.

 "How's that incredible? " Fedora asked.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Oh man, guess I'll order you something strong then" Undershirt said  as he called the waiter to bring them the strongest thing they got.

 "It's incredible because he's never turned down a fight or tried to  defuse a situation before. I guess he's either matured or the alcohol  changes him like that." Wristband elaborated.

OSCARK9:  Gloves received his order and he's enjoying his meal. Despite from  long waiting and all that stuff. He can't wait to eat it all. "Man,  this looks good." He said to himself and drooling at the same time.  "Thanks for the meal!" He said in his happy tone while putting two of  his hands together and off he eats.

KR-O:  Shades shook his head at Undershirt, "Nah man, it's fine. Besides, I'm  on medication. Not exactly a good idea to drink. I also don't have a  designated driver."   Fedora squinted, "It must be the alcohol because people like that  don't really change their habits much."

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Designated driver? How are you going to get us all home? You have a  bus or something?" he asked. That or maybe just make like 20 trips,  but that would seem like a pain in the ass. Since Shady didn't want  his drink, Undershirt took it.

HITAGASHI:  Cammy stared at Shady and Undershirt for a minute before fishing out  her phone.  Scrolling through the images, she came across one with a  dinosaur and her herd.  "Is this your Delta?  Because she showed up  earlier and I have no idea what she's doing aside from being babied by  Estelle.  Which is weird.  Because Estelle hates everyone not me or  the herd."  "I don't know how they did it though?  They made it do something  special because they want Sleevies to date this one guy I call Softy  though!  He's a sweetheart."  Brooch tapped her chin and hummed.  "I  could ask?"

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Maybe the alcohol was starting to get to him a little bit as he  misheard Shades. "OH wait you said you don't HAVE a designated driver.  Come to think of it, I don't think any of us do" he said to Shades as  he looked around at the crowd of people. How the hell were they gonna  get back home?

KR-O:  Shades stared at Cammy's phone for a good moment, then sank in his  seat. He could feel himself deflating, "Yup, that's Delta. Good to  know she's somewhere she can't exactly eat things."   He pointed to Undershirt, and turned to him, "There ya go. The shit  you're getting must be strong."

MAGNUSMATEBA:  The lady seemed to have ignored Gauntlet's question. ''Oh well,  whatever then.'' He directed himself towards another angel who had  just received a plate of food. The food didn't interest him. It was  getting rid of this nasty bottle of beer. Maybe he'd want it? Couldn't  hurt to try. Gauntlet sat down next to this dude, happily digging in.  ''Hey, my man, care to help me out? I don't drink and I seem to be  stuck with this.'' he waved the bottle of beer gently side to side to  indicate he was giving away this bottle.  He overheard Shades and Undershirt ask about designated drivers and  smiled slightly. ''I'm sober guys!'' he yelled out to them as he  turned in his chair to face the duo. He still had the bottle in his  hand, some incriminating evidence. Gauntlet was getting sloppy in  covering for himself.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "I did order the strongest stuff did I not. It also doesn't help that  I've been drinking for the last few hours" he said. He then heard  Gauntlet and turned his head. "Yeah, I don't trust you at all. I can  see the bottle in your hand." he said pointing to the bottle.

OSCARK9:  While Gloves was eating his delicious meal. He heard a voice that was  calling to him and he saw a new angel that he never met. He asking him  if he wants the bottle but he shook his head. "Sorry. I don't drink  alcohol either. But I'm willing to take it out of your hands if that's  ok?" He told him.

KR-O:  "Hey, I'm sober too!" Shades responded in a sarcastic tone. "Its fine,  i can get my van for fewer trips from here to the Abbey."

MAGNUSMATEBA:  ''Try me!'' He answered ''You try and walk a straight line and I will  after. There's no dice for you.'' Gauntlet then turned the bottle  over, the neck facing down. Nothing came out. It was still sealed, he  had shooed the bartender so quickly earlier that they never had time  to open the bottle. This was the funniest thing Gauntlet had done in  the last six months. He started laughing and while he was collecting  himself he heard the guy he'd approached tell him he'd take the bottle  of his hands. Still recovering from this laugh, he answered ''aw  thanks bud, I'm Gauntlet'' He extended his hand, offering a handshake.  This seemed to become a reoccurring theme with him. ''Legitimately I  am sober though, just a bit tired from driving most of the day.  Besides I got my sweet ride right outside. Not so long ago, at least  to me, I'd have been talking about a horse, human engineering really  has gotten far...'' This comment caused Gauntlet to chuckle although  this thought was legitimate.

OSCARK9:  "No problem." He told him. He took the bottle from Gauntlet hands and  extended his hand to him and gave him a hand sake. "I'm Gloves. Nice  to meet you." He said to him with a smile. "That's cool that your a  sober. I hope that I can see your ride later when we all get out of  here." He told him.

ROAMINGPANDAS:  Scrunchy still stood by the door to the pub. With an abruptly loud,  and manly, scream, SHE RIPPED THE DOOR OFF THE HINGES. Her hair flowed  in the soft breeze. Holding the door over her head, she stared into  the pub at the patrons before blinking a few times.  ..  And with that the angel b-lined it away from the pub with a door  overhead.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Cufflink snapped his head at the angel /ripping the door off/.  "...savages..." he thought and shook his head But unfortunately the  sound caught Jeogori's attention and when he was turning away he sees  Cufflink. Nothing could stop Cufflink running like hell.

(( OOC: Hey guys, since we're starting to lag a bit (both in posts and the site itself), it's time to start wrapping it up! ))

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  "Pff" he laughed at Gauntlet's threat and smiled. "I'm probably a  hundred times stronger than you."His attention was then turned to  Scrunchy ripping off the door. Oooookaaaay?

OSCARK9:  Gloves heard a noise that was right behind his back. He turn around  quickly to see another new angel that comes in the pub with a door  over her head. "Well you don't see that everyday." He said to himself.

HITAGASHI:  Pastel blinked at her door making its way downtown, running fast,  faces passing.  She considered the damage to the frame and called over  Volto Foglia, deciding to use her tall friend's freakish build to her  advantage in removing said frame.  She'd been wanting to do some  upgrades anyway.  That in mind, she moved back to the stage and took  the mic.

 "All ye newbies, listen up!  Me regs ken tha' me pub closes nearer  dawn so there ye go.  Ye can either stay.  Or ye go.  If'n ye go,  ye're gettin' breathalizer tested an' if'n yer drunk, we've got taxis  on call fer ye.  Ah've got shit t'do.  G'night ye yanks!"

TECHYTECHY:  /"Oh my Lord you angels are so stupid,"/ Thong had mumbled to herself  for the first in a long while. The apparent chaos and threats were not  very attractive to her. The succubus then SIGHED loudly and wiggled  herself out of Undershirt's lap, dusting off her legs. "Perhaps this  is my cue to leave, then."

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She gets back her namesake and she hugs it tightly,"mommy's back  ,mommy missed you..yes she did." Fox cooes happily exiting the pub.  "My little Valentine. I'll get you chocolates later but you know their  for me." She spoke to her stuffed companion.

TECHYTECHY:  Shorty suddenly landed on Shady's back, nuzzling her face into his  jacket before yelling into the fabric, "TAKE ME AWAY."

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Baul Gag and Bowtie both woke up at Pastel's voice. Man they both had  a lot to drink and they'd have one hell of a hang over. They both  walked to the breathalizer, both of them knowing full well they'd need  a taxi to get home. The two of them got into one and left the premise.

 "So, you want to give us a lift then?" Undershirt asked Shades as  Wristband walked over. "Think we should give Thong a ride home too?"

MAGNUSMATEBA:  ''Yeah sure, I can show you my car later on Gloves.'' Gauntlet was  getting more and more amused at the comments of Undershirt. As  Gauntlet was getting up to leave he replied ''Who said it was a  contest of strenght, Undershirt? That's kind of useless if you can't  hit me isn't it? You want have this fight, we'll have it later on my  own terms. I challenge you to the sabres.'' The closing up call was  made suprised Gauntlet. He went to the counter to pick up his namesake  and turned around to then find the door missing.  ''My, my. I usually  steal what's behind the door not the door itself.'' Walking out he  cried out ''Yo Gloves, you want this ride?'' as he turned on the  engine of an orange sports car.

TECHYTECHY:  "Not necessary, I have my own ride," Thong assured the group of holy  immortals. With a polite smile, she blew a kiss to them before walking  off towards the entrance. "Get home safe, kiddies~!" Hell yeah.

SUPERSAIYAN5100:  Undershirt just waived stupidly as Thong left.

 "Well, I'd say this night was successful, wouldn't you?" Wristband  said to Undershirt and Shades.

 Undershirt nodded before feeling around in his pockets and realized  his wallet was gone. "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY WALLET...THAT BITCH!!" he  yelled.

 "Maybe I spoke too soon. Let's just get out of here." Wristband said  as the two of them left.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Jeogori tossed Cufflink onto his shoulder and walked into the distance  showing him a note saying, "Where do you live?"  Cufflink shoots him a confused look, gives him the directions and  asks, "...Why?"

OSCARK9:  "Yes! I can have my Gloves back!" He said in his exciting tone. When  he got his namesakes back. It made him feel like he was alive again  and happy at the same time. When he took the breathalizer test and  took the beer bottle with him. Gauntlet is asking him if he wants a  ride. He shook his head. "Yes. Please". He answers him. "Thanks,  Gauntlet."

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens mean while was calming his cousin who was panicing about  leaving him here and goes home.

KR-O:  Shades began to laugh at Undershirt's misfortunes as he went on his  knees to get Shorty for a piggyback ride. "That's what you get for  communing with a Demon, dumbass." AND HE TOOK SHORTY TO CHURCH.

 Gogo then received a call. It was their manager and they were less  than pleased with their prolonged absence. Time to skedaddle.  Fedora basically went into the bathroom stall and dragged out the  Templar to take back to the Abbey. Hopefully this guy didn't actually  end up during a shit.