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igotanidea · 2 years ago

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Babysitting: Dick Grayson x fem!reader

A/N: there's an easter egg in this story. Let me know if you get it :D

(testing some fandoms vigilance here) :D

"Me and Kori got some business to take care of."

That freaking sentence!

Of course he and Kori had business to take care of together. Not that he was my boyfriend. not that I was the one who was always left behind with Rachel, Gar and now also Conner and Tim.

Jealous? Of course I wasn't jealous.

Not even a little. I loved those kids.

But who the hell was I in this relationship, a babysitter?!

***

Let me put it straight: I am not hero. I have zero fighting skills (maybe except my wit. quoting someone I knew: sarcasm is my only defense) and I could not hurt a fly, let alone another human. But. I am smart. I am intelligent and I was determined enough to do something more with my life and became a lawyer. Pretty unusual career for someone who was born and raised in Gotham (even If I moved out of this hell hole after graduation). And yet, I made it. Feeling like I was doing something right, standing up for people, defending them.

Well.

One day someone decided to put my thinking and beliefs to the test.

“Counsellor. You have a visitor.” Our new paralegal was kicking her heels nervously in front of my office.

“Ok, Amy, first of all calm down. That’s right. Deep breaths. Unless it’s Joker who came to visit me, I don’t see any reason for you to be so flustered. “ I raised an eyebrow at the girl, who all of a sudden turned red like a beetroot. “Amy?”

“I’m sorry, counsellor…..”

“How many times, do I have to tell you, you don’t need to use that title when we’re alone? You’re like what, five years younger than me?” I playfully shook my head at her

“Sorry, I …..”

“Never mind, we’ll talk about it later” a little pat on her shoulder was enough to bring her back to reality “Now. Who is there to see me?”

“Detective Dick Grayson. Bludhaven police.” Ok, now I understood why Amy was so nervous. This guy was really good looking and for a twenty-year-old that must have been a sight. I was far more reserved. In my years as a trainee solicitor I had my fair share of handsome lawyers, detectives and other officials. One way or another all of them were the same – pretty. Pretty conceited. So at this point, at the age of 25 I was not impressed solely by a lovely face.

“Well, morning detective. How can I be of help?” I reached my hand out and he shook it firmly.

“I need some information about an on-going case of yours.”

“All right. As soon as you prove to me you can get the access to the confidential records I can’t see any reason to deny it.” I shrugged and lead him into my office.

And that was how it started. One case somehow lead to another, and another and another. He might have thought he had me cornered, but I was a lawyer. My job was to see patterns and predict the outcomes of actions and behaviors. I had him figured sooner than he knew and before he realized I got him right when I wanted him when he confessed to switching out cases just to have a chance to work with me. And then, some well chosen words, two or three dates, some more or less heated kissed and we were a couple. Oh, how I loved this boy! Like crazy. And he was very eager to use that against me.

“Detective Grayson? How can I be of help to you today?” I asked with my most professional voice noticing him standing at the entrance to my office. “And how long have you been standing there?” I smirked at him.

“Long enough” he pouted “you are just glowing when you’re working you know that? You have that irresistible spark in your eyes….” he closed the door coming closer to me and crouching on the desk eyeing me carefully.

“I’m sorry, how exactly did you get here?” I tilted my head in confusion.

“You know, Amy has a soft spot for me.” He put on his most charming smile.

“Yeah I’m aware of that. Clear sign I need to hire better security.”

“Is that so?” he grabbed me so I had to raise from the chair and stand between his legs.

“I’m busy, Dick.” I objected pointing towards the pile of documents.

“Mhm. I bet you are” his hands was now on my waist, pulling me closer, his face inches away from mine “I am too. Extremely busy….” He whispered and leaned in, closing the distance completely. I hated him. He had the audacity to show up in my office, uninvited, in the middle of the day, with all his charm and distract me from my duties. He was reckless, irresponsible and childish. And a hell of a good kisser. Just a touch of his lips on mine made me want more as I let him caress my face and my back. Only for a second though, as my rational thinking made me pull away and smirk at his disappointed expression.

“Oh, come on, Dickie. Don’t be a child….” I ruffled his hair and sat back down “Now, shoo. I really have a lot of work to do and if you want me back home tonight…..”

“Believe me, I have a whole plan for tonigh.” His eyes turned darker with lust as he said it.

“Can’t wait then. Hope you won’t disappoint me, detective.”

***

I came home late. Really late. Absolutely shagged, hoping my boyfriend would be there to ease my stress and anxiety with just his presence, but in fact I was about to be disappointed. The lights were off, the apartment cold and empty. No matter how sad it was for me I was a bit used to him working up late. He was a detective after all. Maybe he was at some undercover operation at the moment. Calling him was not an option since it may put him in danger, so trying to shake the emotions of the day by myself I just got ready to bed and before I realized I was dozing off.

I had no idea what hour it was, but at some point in the night I was woken by the squeak of the bed on the other side and a pair of arms sneaking around me. Dick was back safe.

“Hi.” I muttered, recognizing those hands and smell and shifting my position to get closer to him, resting my head on his chest.

“Hi baby” he whispered back, kissing my forehead and running a hand through my hair.

“Work?”

“You have no idea.” He sighed deeply and I caressed his side gently, trying to make him relax, but it didn’t bring the effect I wanted.

“Are you all right?” I was now totally awake, propping myself on the elbow to look straight into those beautiful blue eyes of his “are you hurt?” concern in my voice was so audible that a flash of pain crossed his face.

“I'm fine. I’m sorry I made you worried. And sorry I woke you.”

“Don’t ever be sorry. Honestly, I could never have a good sleep knowing you are out. Remind me why I agreed to have a detective boyfriend?“ I smirked but he was not in a mood for verbal teasing.

“I love you” he whispered closing his eyes, hiding everything there was inside, all the emotions kept under lock and key.

“Dick?” now I was serious too.

“Yes?” he opened them again and looked straight at me.

“You can tell me everything. There’s no need to hide. Whatever you did or whatever happened I have my ways to get you out of trouble.”

“I know. I know. I just love you so fucking much. I… I just need you next to me now, all right? Please?”

„That I can do” I laid back down, hugging him tightly, breathing him in, but at this very moment I knew something was off. We both held to each other, but it was more desperate than loving. More “I have a secret, I can’t tell you and it's killing me” than “I want to share my secret with you.”

***

I was spending another sleepless night alone just tossing and turning in the bed. Last three days was a disaster. At first glance nothing changed between me and Dick but under the surface …. Tormented by my own thoughts, I was truly thankful when my work phone broke the silence of the night.

“Y/L/N speaking” my voice was still hoarse, but it didn't stop me from using official tone.

“We need you here, counsellor. It’s an emergency and it requires your immediate attention.”

“On my way. Where exactly is here?”

***

Holy shit! The place was a disaster! Blood, massacred bodies, about ten injured people and two destroyed buildings. And one person accused of it all on the run.

“How could you let him escape!?” I was about to tear my hair out, but there was no time as I had to deal with the witnesses and potential accomplices taken to custody. Those who apparently were aware of their civil rights and refused to say anything without lawyer present. And Bludhaven police called me to be this lawyer. Fine, after all I had nothing else to do. “You know what, don’t answer that, just… do your freaking job and find the gangster boss who….”

Before I could even finish the sentence, said boss fell right in front of me.

“What the….?” I muttered looking up noticing the characteristic cape. The colors were a blur but everyone knew it was Robin. I sighed deeply and rubbed my forehead. Whoever was behind that mask I should have hated him, given how many laws he was breaking on a daily basis. The truth was, however, he was making my job slightly easier. And for that, ironically, I was thankful.

***

It took me another three days after which everything dawned on me. Dick was visiting my office every day, trying to get to know what I was working on and even when I refused to give away professional secrets, I knew he gathered some information. And then, miraculously, during night, all my perpetrators and criminals were brought to police station by no one other than Robin. Of course he himself never showed up. I would have to be blind, deaf and stupid not to see the connection.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked as soon as he stepped through my office again “and don’t give me that I don’t know what you’re talking about look. Let’s talk seriously, all right?”

“All right." he closed the door making sure it was shut tight and took a step towards me scratching his head "I’m sorry. I was worried that if you find out….”

“No.” I interrupted him.

“Sorry?” his surprised look made me use all the strength to hold back a laugh. He looked like a wigged kid.

“You don’t get to think so little of me. Did you really think I would leave? Or worse – was it the classic I was scared someone would hurt you bullshit? Dick, god damn it! I'm a lawyer. Do you have any idea how many times I got death threats? And here I am! Still alive and breathing! "

“I’m sorry.” He repeated.

“I’m also pretty case-hardened with keeping secrets, so I would never give yours away.”

“I know and….” He looked down, embarrassed and defeated under the weight of my arguments.

“I got a simple conclusion here: you are an idiot. Foolish, egoistic, inane….”

“Ok, that’s enough….” He stood up abruptly, making me shut up by kissing me, pulling me close so all my mind would get blurry and distracted by his toned chest, muscles and the way he was holding me, like his (or mine) life depended on it.

“Nice try, Grayson” I said pulling away too quickly for him to enjoy being in control of the situation.

“Please, don’t leave me. I can’t lose you.”

“You’re only proving my point here. I'm not going anywhere. But no more keeping me in the dark, all right? I told you once - I can keep you out of trouble, not the other way round. After all, you are a wanted vigilante.”

“Whatever you say” he pulled me in a kiss again and this time I let him. But still, he was about to apologize properly when we were alone.

***

From then on, everything went quick. Rachel, Gar, Kori. Titans. San Francisco. Gotham again (meeting Batman was a bit weird, but enjoyable experience), Dick dying and coming back to life (I almost killed him for that when he magically resurected). Conner, Tim. Wild ride. Wild. Oh, and somewhere in the meantime Dick ditched Robin in favor of Nightwing. Well, he looked hot in this black and blue outfit and I couldn't...... back to the point!

But I didn’t mind as long as Dick kept his promise of not keeping me away. At least for as long as in his own words it started to get really dangerous. When he reopened the Titans tower, training Gar, Rachel and Jason, I was there, watching over them, helping them crack cases and even joining on the field. I felt like a part of a team. But slowly, especially after Jason left (from the time perpective I think he was the only one to ever understood how it felt like to be cut off) my role was more like a caregiver. I was there to take care of the wounds, to throw a joke or defuse tension. Of course, I was still giving some advice, some tricks on how to play bad guys psychologically etc. but I knew I was being omitted. Dick was more distant, more tensed and more reserved than before, not that I blamed him. But I missed him. I accepted his vigilante lifestile, never complaining, but I wanted to feel like he still needed me to be his. His girlfriend, equal to him (but maybe smarter) and not someone to look after a bunch of kids (who I loved, but still).

Me and Kori has some business to take care of.

Right.

In a while he was always doing something with Kori. I liked her, truly, we were pretty good friends, but it was not right. I mean, I get that, she was a freaking fire princess, gifted with supernatural powers, all confident and fierce. All I had was logical thinking, connecting facts, fast reacting, resourcefullnes and imagination. It was more than enough to be a lawyer, but apparently not to be a part of the Titans team.

I wasn't jealous of Kori, really. I didn't envy her, I was just sad that all my good traits weren’t enough for Dick to consider me a valuable member of the team. Never letting me into real action anymore, never allowing me to train with the rest, even Tim, who wasn’t exactly skilled with his gear. Always working with Kori. And I knew confronting Dick about it would end up the same way as years ago. I can’t risk you getting hurt. I don’t want to see you in pain. I’m only focused on you when you are out in the open. Well, I understood his point of view, one way or another he was right, can’t deny that, but he could not possibly be there for me all the time. I had to be able to be more than just an easy to hurt one.

“You good?” oh, now he was realizing something was happening. Great job, Sherlock.

“No, I’m not” I always prided myself of being honest and direct in my communication with him. Boys can be so oblivious at times.

“Do we have to talk about it?” He looked at me carefully, his eyes begging me to postpone this conversation since he absolutely had to go investigate.

“Yes.” I nodded “Later. Now go.”

“Thank you.” He sighed and kissed my temple lovingly. I missed that.

“Go deal with that business of yours and come back to me. In one piece.”

“Promise.”

"Take care of him, ok?" I send Kori a sad look and she just nodded understanding everything he couldn't.

***

“Hey, brief, are you ok?” Conner used the nickname steming from the times I forgot knocking me out of my trance. Eventually, I ended up back at Star Labs with Conner and Tim, watching them fight against each other. Or rather Conner standing in place and taking poorly aimed Tim’s punches without flinching in the slightest.

“Take a guess.” I muttered “you should aim a bit lower, Tim”

“What?” the newly-appointed Robin looked at me confused.

“Lower” I emphasized “Conner may be superboy, but he’s still half human. And humans have weak points, so aim lower.”

Tim shrugged in a whatever manner, but stuck to my advice and to both, his and Conner’s surprise the latter hissed in pain.

“What the…..?” Superboy gasped turning his gaze on me. So did Tim and Bernard.

“Do you want to tell us something, Y/N?” the scientist asked “are you hiding some supertalents?”

“Just observational skills. Mixed with experience in medical records during my lawyer times.”

“That is interesting. You see anything else to use against Conner?”

“Wait. What? Use against me? I did not sign up for this!” Conner protested watching as my eyes twinkled in excitement. Now, I had my chance to prove to them I was more than met the eye.

***

“What is going on here?!”

“Oh, hey, Dick, your back. How was your business?” I brushed the sweat from my forehead and smiled at him. I couldn’t remember last time I was so happy and fulfilled. For the last two hours I was sparring with the boys under Bernard’s watchful gaze. It was exhilarating. “She’s the business I suppose.”

“Not voluntarily.” The pink-haired girl smirked “so you’re the girlfriend he was worried about on the way here?”

“I was not worried…..”

“I’m sorry about him. He can be …. Intense…” I cut Dick off. "I'm Y/n?"

“Tell me about it” she rolled her eyes “I’m Jinx.”

“The witch? Can you show me any spell to …..”

“All right. Y/n, I think we need to have that talk now.” my boyfriend, if that was still the case grabbed my hand and started dragging me away.

“It was nice to meet you, Jinx. I’ll catch you up later!” I managed to say in her direction before Dick picked me up and threw me over his shoulder still walking away. "Put me down, now!"

***

“What were you doing there?”

“It turns out, I'm pretty good at finding opponents weakness and turning it against them”

“Tim being the opponent?” Dick laughed

“Conner, in fact. And don;t be condescending.”

“What?!”

“Mhm. Did you know that he has a soft spot just right under his belly button? I might have bruised him with the impact I put there.”

“You did what?”

“Yeah. So many years of wasted potential." I blew a raspberry "And that’s because of someone who has been treating me like a babysitter for the past couple weeks.”

“You mean me? I never…..” I cleared my throat suggestively and it made him hesitate “ok, maybe I did. But you never said a word!”

“Because I knew it would lead to fighting with you. And despite everything I hate seeing you lose those arguments. Come on, you always surrender in verbal sparring.”

“Y/N….”

“It’s always you and Kori going everywhere together, dealing with stuff together, cracking cases together. I felt like I wasn't needed anymore. Apart from watching over kids.”

“Because they trust you. You are a role model for them.”

“One of the role models, Dick. Just one. And that’s nice. I just want you to realize I am so much more than just a bystander.”

“I don’t…..”

“Blah, blah, blah. I know all your arguments inside and out. Hurt, pain, loss… Please."I rolled my eyes at him "I’m good, all right? I want to learn to fight.”

“Are you jealous of Kori? There’s no need.”

“You idiot” I smacked his head. Lightly but he still hissed and looked at me with hurted expression. “You don’t get a word I'm saying! I am not jealous of her. I'm furious beacuse of you treating me different than anyone else!"

“Because you are the one I love!”

“I love you too." I said, more sofly, more gently and locked my hands on his neck, playing with the hair on his nape. That little gesture always made him relax and this time was no different as he hummed in pleasure "but I never told you to stop fighting, did I?"

"No...." he leaned into my touch so just to tease him I withdrew my hands. "Please, don't stop" soft, almost inaudible whisper got me melting "I missed that....."

"So, you agree with me that you've been pushing me away."

"I never said that and ....." I kissed him before he said anything else. Oh, the way it turned him on instantly.... Out of instinct his hands found their place on my waist holding onto me, caressing my skin, bringing me closer. Clearly he did miss me. I almost gave up, so lost in his touch, his warmth, wanting more and more and ......

"So, you agree with me....." I pulled away, not letting him get away with answer this easily.

"Yes, I fucking agree with everything you are saying." He rested his forehead on mine. "I'm sorry. I never meant to push you away. Never meant to make you feel like you didn't belong. I don't know what I would do without you."

"Hm, I know" I hummed "you would be absolutely lost. And probably dead. More than once."

"Mhm" he muttered. "Please I need you. You are like the only stable thing in my life...."

"I'm always here, Dick" I hugged him tighly, knowing well enough he was on the verge of breaking from the last weeks' stress and pressure and in desperate need of comfort and warm embrace "I'm always here. But I don't want to be a liability, ok? Or a housemother."

"Ok....." he held me tighter, not ready to let go.

"Let me train. I won't go against you, but please...." I kissed his temple, not to make him break, but just to assure him I was going to be fine. That we were going to be fine.

"Ok....." he chuntered "I'm tired....."

"I know, Dickie, I know. But you are not alone in this mess, babe. You are not alone."

Guess I was babysitting again. but this time, out of my own volition, and the fact that I had a choice in the matter made me feel good. After all, he was my baby.

@somest1

@pinksirensong

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jupiterwrites99 · 1 year ago

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You're On Your Own, Kid -- 13

Trust Issues

A/N: Short and Sweet to build up for the next one

“How’d you find me?” She asked hesitantly, she couldn’t hear the others but if he had found her, they must not be too far. It had been five days since she had run from the Uleys cottage, and Sage had no plans on returning. She was trying to find her way back to Josh’s house from memory, though it was taking longer than expected.

“That doesn’t matter right now.” The man grumbled as he crossed his arms. Whether he meant to intimidate her or not, it was certainly working. “You need to come home.”

Sage scoffed, “Yeah, no thanks.”

There was no way she was going back there without a fight, which is exactly what she was prepared to do. Sage had enough self respect to not stick around where she wasn’t wanted and clearly, Sam did not want her in his pack if he was willing to shove her out like a misbehaving dog. The words he had used to describe her echoing in her mind.

“Do you have any idea what you're putting Paul through right now?” Jacob argued, and her heart sank. Of course she did, she felt all of it. It's not like he cared what she was going through, if he did, she left enough of a trail for him to find her. If he was the one that had run away, she would’ve found him already. It's been five days, and nothing. No sign of her mate.

“He started it! He doesn’t want me…No one wanted me there, so I left. I made it easier for everyone else.” She exclaimed, the more she thought about the more upset she became. Maybe she was a runt after all and that's why Paul didn’t want her. Sage was spiralling and she knew it.

Jacob shook his head in disbelief, “He’s in love with you, Sage.”

“I saw him with your sister.” The younger wolf pointed out. The image of them looking real cosy with each other crossed her mind. She tried to control the small ripple of betrayal she felt, like it never left her.

“That's what set you off.” A look of realisation hit Jacobs eyes, before taking a step closer to the she wolf, his hand held forward with his palm up. A sign that he wasn’t going to hurt her. “Sage, he doesn’t love Rachel, he never has. Paul broke her heart, a lot, but she did it to herself by not leaving when he told her to go. “

Sage furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. His explanation lined up with Pauls, but it still didn’t make sense why he went to see his ex, “So why did he go see her then? He told me he had work.”

“I don’t know, you’ll have to ask him that but you are the only thing that he truly cares about. It's time to come back now.” Jacob coaxed, and Sage could feel his desperation, so much so that she wondered if Paul or Sam sent him to find her. He was the one that got her in trouble, maybe they thought he could bring her back by making amends. Though in her mind, they already have. He apologised when he came out to talk to her that night.

“I can’t.”Sage shook her head. She had been a part of a corrupt pack her entire life. One that was quick to banish those who dared to defy the Alpha, or worse. She didn’t want to be subject to that hierarchy again. “I won’t be a part of Sam's pack, not even for Paul.”

“Why not?” Jacob asked. Sage admired his genuine question. The older wolf seemed to be the only one who cared, who even bothered to ask why. Paul and Sam just assumed she wanted to be in their pack because of the imprint, she never asked and now that Sam had shown his true thoughts of the w

Sage shifted uncomfortably, “He said I was dangerous, and I’m not.” She watched as Jacob opened his mouth to speak, and interrupted him quickly, not wanting him to agree with Sam, “That's not me!”

“Sage,” He spoke softly as the tears formed in her eyes. She wasn’t dangerous, not on purpose at least. She knew she needed to control her wolf better, but that was the only thing keeping her sane when everyone turned against her former pack. That's all she has.

Jacob wrapped his arms around the younger girl in a hug and she quickly tried to push him away, not used to the gentle kindness,“No!” She gave up quickly as he held on to her, “I spent my entire life feeling like I didn't belong in my pack, my family. I won’t do it again. I don’t agree with Sam, I won’t follow him.”

“I have a solution.” Jacob told her softly, asking, “Do you trust me?”

#paul lahote #paul lahote fanfic #paul lahote smut #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote x oc #twilight wolf pack #twilight #twilight wolves

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andihavelovedyoubeautifully · 9 months ago

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Taylor Swift Songs for Every Gilmore Girls Episode

Inspired by this amazing Bustle article

Season 1

S1 E1 – A Place in this World

Rory meeting her first crush just before she switches schools, trying to make sense of everything

I'm alone, on my own / And that's all I know / I'll be strong, I'll be wrong / Oh, but life goes on / Oh, I'm just a girl / Trying to find a place in this world

S1 E2 – Mean

Introduction to Paris, who is determined to make Rory's life at Chilton a living hell

You, with your switching sides / And your wildfire lies and your humiliation / You have pointed out my flaws again / As if I don't already see them / I walk with my head down, trying to block you out / 'Cause I'll never impress you / I just wanna feel okay again

S1 E3 – You Need to Calm Down

Lorelai’s dramatic overreaction and fight with Rory about spending time with her grandparents

You just need to take several seats and then try to restore the peace

S1 E4 – Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

Rory lashing out at Paris and Tristan when she misses her big test, feeling weighted down by the pressure of Chilton

I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean / “Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth” / Who's afraid of little old me?

S1 E5 – Sparks Fly

Sparks are flying between both Lorelai & Max (My mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea) and Rory & Dean (And you stood there in front of me just / Close enough to touch)

S1 E6 – Never Grow Up

Lorelai’s tradition of waking Rory up at the time of her birth to tell her the story, while she reflects on Rory turning 16/getting older

I won't let nobody hurt you / Won't let no one break your heart / And no one will desert you / Just try to never grow up

S1 E7 – Fearless

Dean and Rory's first kiss in Doose’s

You pull me in and I'm a little more brave / It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something, it's fearless

S1 E8 – gold rush

Lane having her first crush and accidentally running her fingers through his hair

What must it be like / To grow up that beautiful? / With your hair falling into place like dominos

S1 E9 – Today Was a Fairytale

Rory and Dean's first dance together

But can you feel this magic in the air? / It must've been the way you kissed me / Fell in love when I saw you standing there / It must've been the way, today was a fairytale

S1 E10 – Soon You'll Get Better

Richard's hospital visit, and how it affects the whole family

The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair / In doctor's office lighting, I didn't tell you I was scared / Soon you’ll get better / ‘Cause you have to

S1 E11 – This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Paris spreading gossip about Lorelai and Max just to hurt Rory

Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me? / This is why we can't have nice things

S1 E12 – You Belong With Me

Luke attempting to ask Lorelai out after her disastrous double date

If you could see that I'm the one / Who understands you / Been here all along / So, why can't you see? / You belong with me

S1 E13 – Bejeweled

This song fits the fun, sparkly concert vibe of the Bangles episode ✨

What's a girl gonna do? / I polish up nice / Best believe I'm still bejeweled / When I walk in the room / I can still make the whole place shimmer

S1 E14 – Everything Has Changed

Rory & Dean’s special date night (You'll be mine and I'll be yours / All I know since yesterday / Is everything has changed) and Luke openly flirting with Lorelai as they plan to paint the diner (And all my walls / Stood tall painted blue / But I'll take 'em down, take 'em down / And open up the door for you)

S1 E15 – betty

Lorelai realizing she let Luke down when she missed their painting date and showing up at the diner to beg his forgiveness

The only thing I wanna do / Is make it up to you

S1 E16 – cardigan

Rachel coming back into town to try to reignite her and Luke’s old romance

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss / I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs / And when I felt like I was an old cardigan / Under someone's bed / You put me on and said I was your favorite

S1 E17 – If This Were A Movie

Rory pining for Dean and wallowing after their breakup

Come back, come back, come back to me like / You would, you would if this was a movie / Stand in the rain outside 'til I came out / I know that we could work it out somehow / But if this was a movie you'd be here by now

S1 E18 – Foolish One

Paris falling for Tristan while he never had real feelings for her

You give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high / Wishful thoughts forget to mention when something's really not right / And I will block out these voices of reason in my head

S1 E19 – All of the Girls You've Loved Before

Lorelai learns more about Rachel and realizes how Luke & Rachel's past relationship shaped him into the man he is today

Your mother brought you up loyal and kind / Teenage love taught you there's good in goodbye / Every woman that you knew brought you here

S1 E20 – Bye Bye Baby

Rachel’s POV as she leaves Luke, knowing it's over for good this time

Bye, bye, baby / I want you bad but it's come down to nothing / And all I have is your sympathy / 'Cause you took me home but you just couldn't keep me

S1 E21 – That's When

Rory finally telling Dean she loves him and the two of them reuniting

I said, "I know" / When you said, "I did you wrong, made mistakes / And put you through all of this" / Then through the phone / Came all your tears / And I said "Leave those all in our past" / And you said "When can I come back?"

Season 2

S2 E1 – But Daddy I Love Him

Rory standing up to Richard when he criticizes Dean at Friday Night dinner

He was chaos, he was revelry / If all you want is gray for me / Then it's just white noise, and it's my choice / Screaming "But Daddy I love him!"

S2 E2 – Stay Beautiful

Luke coming to Lorelai's engagement party alone and watching her dance with Max

And when you find everything you've looked for / I hope your love leads you back to my door / Oh, but if it don't, stay beautiful

S2 E3 – Midnight Rain

Lorelai calls it off with Max because she realizes they aren’t the right fit and she doesn’t really love him

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain / He wanted it comfortable / I wanted that pain / He wanted a bride / I was making my own name

S2 E4 – Getaway Car

Lorelai and Rory hit the road after Lorelai calls off the wedding

I was ridin' in a getaway car / I was cryin' in a getaway car / I was dyin' in a getaway car / Said goodbye in a getaway car

S2 E5 – I Hate It Here

Jess arrives in Stars Hollow and hates the small town feel, often turning to books for escape

I'm lonely but I'm good / I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine / I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on purpose / This place made me feel worthless

S2 E6 – Glitch

Lorelai is clearly falling for Chris again before he reveals (awkwardly late in the game) that he's seeing someone and she snaps out of it; this matches the “counterfeit” nature of the relationship portrayed in Glitch

I think there's been a glitch / Five seconds later, I'm fastening myself to you with a stitch / And I'm not even sorry / Nights are so starry, blood moonlit / It must be counterfeit

S2 E7 – Shake It Off

Rory does indeed shake it off in this episode! She stands up for herself against Headmaster Charleston for unduly pressuring her to be more social, and then ends the episode doing exactly what she was criticized for doing before - reading alone at lunch and still ✨thriving✨

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play / And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate / Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake / I shake it off, I shake it off

S2 E8 – I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

Rory calls Jess out for making life harder for Luke, and he actually takes her words to heart

And I could see it from a mile away / A perfect case for my certain skillset / He had a halo of the highest grade / He just hadn't met me yet

S2 E9 – long story short

Rory feeling guilty about her kiss with Tristan that she didn’t tell Dean about

Pushed from the precipice / Clung to the nearest lips / Long story short, it was the wrong guy

S2 E10 – I Can See You

Jess & Rory's emotional affair continues, with Jess crashing Rory's sleigh ride and her furtive glance at him at the end of the episode (that Dean definitely notices)

But what would you do if I went to touch you now? / What would you do if they never found us out? / What would you do if we never made a sound? / ‘Cause I can see you

S2 E11 – dorothea

Lane and Rory begin drifting apart after Rory starts going to Chilton, but at the end of the day, they always find a way back to each other

Hey Dorothea / Do you ever stop and think about me? / When we were younger / Down in the park / Honey, making a lark of the misery / You got shiny friends since you left town / A tiny screen's the only place I see you now / And I got nothing but well wishes for ya

S2 E12 – Dear Reader

This song captures Richard’s loneliness and listlessness in this episode, as well as the irony of him constantly badgering Lori with unsolicited advice about her life & job when he is unemployed and clearly miserable

If you knew where I was walking / To a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there / No one sees when you lose / When you're playing solitaire

S2 E13 – Guilty As Sin?

Rory and Jess continue developing more-than-friend feelings for each other

Without ever touchin’ his skin / how can I be guilty as sin?

S2 E14 – White Horse

Lorelai reacting to Christopher’s new relationship and realizing she had always been waiting on him

I was a dreamer before you went and let me down / Now it's too late for you and your white horse / To come around

S2 E15 – I Did Something Bad

Jess steals Dean's bracelet from Rory and clearly gives no fucks about Lorelai catching him returning it

S2 E16 – no body, no crime

Paris comes through in a big way to cover for Rory with Dean, like a true ride or die friend

S2 E17 – It's Nice to Have a Friend

Lorelai is there as a steadfast friend for Luke while he plans for his uncle’s funeral, helping cover for him at the diner and comforting him when his family doesn't show

S2 E18 - right where you left me

A very forlorn Dean sitting on the Gilmore porch at the end of the episode, waiting for Rory

If our love died young, I can't bear witness / And it's been so long / But if you ever think you got it wrong / I'm right where you left me

S2 E19 – Out of the Woods

Jess & Rory get in a car accident, a metaphor for their connection getting a little too real, a little too fast

Are we out of the woods? / Remember when you hit the brakes too soon? / 20 stitches in a hospital room / When you started crying, baby, I did too / But when the sun came up, I was looking at you

S2 E20 – State of Grace

Rory and Jess dealing with the fallout from the accident and the town and Rory's family turning against him, all while harboring feelings for each other

So you were never a saint / And I've loved in shades of wrong

S2 E21 – Treacherous

Rory drops everything to visit Jess in New York and misses Lorelai's graduation

I'd be smart to walk away / But you're quicksand / This slope is treacherous / And I, I, I like it

S2 E22 –

Fortnight

Lorelai and Christopher’s brief romantic night together before the bomb drops about Sherry's pregnancy

I love you, it's ruining my life / I touched you for only a fortnight

ivy

Rory kissing Jess at Sookie’s wedding when she's still with Dean

Oh, goddamn / My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand / Taking mine, but it's been promised to another / Oh, I can't / Stop you putting roots in my dreamland / My house of stone, your ivy grows / And now I'm covered in you

Season 3

S3 E1 –

The Prophecy

Lorelai talking to Luke, wishing she could find “the whole package” in a partner

Please / I've been on my knees / Change the prophecy / Don't want money / Just someone who wants my company

Cruel Summer

Rory’s overt jealousy over seeing Jess with Shane

Killing me slow, out the window / I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below / Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes / What doesn't kill me makes me want you more

S3 E2 – The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

Christopher trying in vain to fix things with Lorelai after he already chose Sherry

And in plain sight you hid / But you are what you did / And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive / The smallest man who ever lived

S3 E3 – Delicate

Lane and Dave meeting for the first time and Lane being head-over-heels for him

Is it cool that I said all that? / Is it chill that you're in my head? / 'Cause I know that it's delicate

S3 E4 – Last Great American Dynasty

LGAD’s themes relate perfectly to Lane’s hair-dying rebellion in this episode, as well as the Stars Hollow High students’ fascination with Lorelai’s teen mom journey

There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen / She had a marvelous time ruinin' everything

S3 E5 – Dancing With Our Hands Tied

This song about the frustration of having to hide a relationship relates well to this episode when Jess fixes the sprinklers for Rory, but turns them back on to allow Dean to come and be the hero – all the while, the two are pushing down their secret feelings for each other

I, I loved you in secret / First sight, yeah, we love without reason

S3 E6 – Look What You Made Me Do

Lorelai & Rory devil egging Jess’ car, classic 😂

S3 E7 – High Infidelity

Rory is unable to hide her feelings for Jess (in PUBLIC, no less) and Dean finally breaks up with her

You know there's many different ways / That you can kill the one you love / The slowest way is never loving them enough

S3 E8 – Don't You

When Rory visits Dean to apologize, this song captures how much it hurts him to know she’s moving on with someone else

Don't you smile at me and ask me how I've been / Don't you say you've missed me if you don't want me again / You don't know how much I feel I love you still

S3 E9 – Stay, Stay, Stay

Luke secretly being disappointed that Lorelai and Rory were going to skip his Thanksgiving! So pure

Stay, stay, stay / I've been loving you for quite some time, time, time / You think that it's funny when I'm mad, mad, mad / But I think that it's best if we both stay

S3 E10 – coney island

This song always reminds me of Jess’ clear lack of interest in going to the carnival with Rory until he hears Dean is coming, especially the line sorry for not winning you an arcade ring

S3 E11 – Bad Blood

Francie causing the rift between Rory and Paris

Did you think we'd be fine? / Still got scars on my back from your knife / So don't think it's in the past / These kinds of wounds they last and they last

S3 E12 – Invisible

Luke teaching Lorelai to fish so she can go on a date with Alex

And all I think about is how to make you think of me / And everything that we could be

S3 E13 – You're On Your Own Kid

This song is the perfect soundtrack for 16-year old Lorelai having Rory and leaving home

You're on your own, kid / Yeah, you can face this / You're on your own, kid / You always have been

S3 E14 – Welcome to New York

Sookie, Jackson, Lorelai, and Alex all going to New York City for date night

S3 E15 – willow

Rory waiting by the phone for Jess to call

Wherever you stray, I follow / I'm begging for you to take my hand / Wreck my plans / That's my man

S3 E16 – The Man

Paris having her public meltdown about not getting into her dream school and thinking it's because she slept with Jamie; this episode speaks to the double standard between men/women when it comes to sex and promiscuity

I'm so sick of running as fast as I can / Wondering if I'd get there quicker / If I was a man / And I'm so sick of them coming at me again / 'Cause if I was a man / Then I'd be the man

S3 E17 – Wildest Dreams

Lorelai telling Like about the dream she had about them being married and pregnant with twins

Say you'll see me again / Even if it's just in your wildest dreams

S3 E18 – Starlight

Rory surprising Lorelai with a big birthday bash

The whole place / Was dressed to the nines / And we were dancing, dancing / Like we're made of starlight

S3 E19 – My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

Jess being a dick to Rory at the party and getting in a fight with Dean

My boy only breaks his favorite toys / I'm queen of sand castles he destroys / Cause it fit too right / Puzzle pieces in the dead of night / Should've known it was a matter of time / Oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys

S3 E20 – All You Had to Do Was Stay

Jess planning to leave town but never telling Rory, abruptly ending their relationship

I've been picking up the pieces of the mess you made / People like you always want back the love they pushed aside / But people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye

S3 E21 – I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

Rory doing her best to move on after Jess’ sudden departure

'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit / They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did

S3 E22 – the 1

Rory calls Jess to finally end things for good

I persist and resist the temptation to ask you / If one thing had been different / Would everything be different today? But it would've been fun / If you would've been the one

Season 4

S4 E1 – We Were Happy

Luke realizing he made a mistake getting married to Nicole so quickly

Oh, I hate those voices / Tellin' me I'm not in love anymore / But they don't give me choices

S4 E2 – The Best Day

Rory immediately misses Lorelai after moving into her dorm and calls her back to Yale for a sleepover

I love you for giving me your eyes / Staying back and watching me shine and / I didn't know if you knew / So I'm taking this chance to say / That I had the best day with you today

S4 E3 – Tied Together with a Smile

As it turns out it, Sookie has been harboring secret fears about her impending motherhood, and Lorelai is there to reassure and comfort her

S4 E4 – I Almost Do

Drunk Dean still pining for Rory at his bachelor party

And I just wanna tell you / It takes everything in me not to call you / And I wish I could run to you / And I hope you know that every time I don't / I almost do

S4 E5 – Untouchable

How I imagine Luke felt as he died a thousand silent deaths during his first ~totally platonic~ movie night with Lorelai

Untouchable like a distant diamond sky / I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why / I'm caught up in you / Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun / And when you're close, I feel like coming undone

S4 E6 – Jump Then Fall

Kirk and Lulu’s first date is adorable and magical, just like this song

I realize your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard / I like the way I can't keep my focus / I watch you talk, you didn't notice / I hear the words but all I can think is, we should be together

S4 E7 – King of My Heart

Lorelai's (pleasant) surprise at Jason asking her out and their instant attraction to each other

Late in the night, the city's asleep / Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep / Change my priorities / The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

S4 E8 – Anti-Hero

Rory writes a mean-spirited review of a ballerina and has to deal with the blowback (not that she takes much responsibility for it)

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me

S4 E9 – mad woman

Emily's (completely valid) reaction to learning Richard has been lying for years about meeting Pennilyn Lott

Every time you call me crazy / I get more crazy / What about that? / And when you say I seem angry / I get more angry / And there's nothin' like a mad woman

S4 E10 – Dress

Lorelai and Jason's steamy, secret love affair

You made your mark on me, golden tattoo / Only bought this dress so you could take it off

S4 E11 – Say Don’t Go

Lorelai clearly feeling upset and betrayed by Luke’s alleged move, with Luke pressing her to admit why she cares so much

I'm holdin' out hope for you to / Say, "Don't go" / I would stay forever if you say, "Don't go"

S4 E12 – closure

Rory has moved on enough that she doesn't need closure from Jess, but she’s still clearly affected seeing him back in town

It wasn't right / The way it all went down / Looks like you know that now

S4 E13 – Back to December

Jess comes back to town and tells Rory he loves her, knowing it won't change anything

So this is me swallowin' my pride / Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night / And I go back to December all the time / It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you / Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine / I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright / I go back to December all the time

S4 E14 – The Archer

Rory and Lorelai fall apart from the pressure in their lives and turn to Dean and Luke for support

All the king's horses, all the king's men / Couldn't put me together again / Help me hold on to you

S4 E15 – tolerate it

Emily goes on a wild shopping spree while feeling ignored by Richard, and he doesn't even notice the new apples she bought for the dining table, claiming he’s always liked them

Lay the table with the fancy shit / And watch you tolerate it / If it's all in my head tell me now / Tell me I've got it wrong somehow / I know my love should be celebrated / But you tolerate it

S4 E16 – Safe and Sound

Richard navigating the grief of losing his mother by locking himself away in his office to block out the outside world

Don't you dare look out your window, darling, everything's on fire / The war outside our door keeps raging on / Hold onto this lullaby even when the music's gone

S4 E17 – Florida!!!

Rory & Paris head to Florida for spring break and they drink, party, and even kiss

Florida... is one hell of a drug

S4 E18 – False God

Jason and Lorelai’s relationship is exposed, marking the beginning of the end for them

Religion's in your lips / Even if it's a false god / We'd still worship / We might just get away with it / The altar is my hips / Even if it's a false god

S4 E19 – Wonderland

Lorelai snaps back to reality when Jason goes after her father, and she breaks up with him

I reached for you / But you were gone / I knew I had to go back home / You search the world for something else / To make you feel like what we had / And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad

S4 E20 –

Electric Touch

Luke realizing he has feelings for Lorelai and acting on them by asking her to the wedding; All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life

The Manuscript

Paris reflects on her relationship with Asher and the age difference after he has a heart attack scare; She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years / Everything had been above board / She wasn't sure

S4 E21 –

The Last Time

Jess making one final plea for Rory to leave with him

Find myself at your door / Just like all those times before / I'm not sure how I got there / All roads, they lead me here

Daylight

Luke & Lorelai's first dance together

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you / I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you / I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night / And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

S4 E22 – invisible string

Luke and Lorelai finally acting on their mutual feelings for each other

And isn't it just so pretty to think / All along there was some / Invisible string / Tying you to me?

Season 5

S5 E1 – Our Song

This rollicking couples anthem is a fitting representation of Rory and Dean’s cringey opening scene, trying to pick a theme song after they just did the ~nasty

S5 E2 – august

Lindsay finds out about Rory & Dean’s infidelity and they have to deal with the consequences of their actions

So much for summer love and saying "us" / 'Cause you weren't mine to lose

S5 E3 – cowboy like me

Luke & Lorelai committing to their relationship; “I am all in”

I've had some tricks up my sleeve / Takes one to know one / You're a cowboy like me

S5 E4 – ‘tis the damn season

Rory and Dean try to come back together like old times

'Tis the damn season, write this down / I'm stayin' at my parents' house / And the road not taken looks real good now / And it always leads to you in my hometown

S5 E5 – Snow on the Beach

Zack finally confesses his feelings to Lane and they realize they feel the same about each other

Are we falling like snow on the beach? / Weird but fucking beautiful / Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful / You wanting me tonight feels impossible / But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around / Like snow on the beach

S5 E6 – Mastermind

Rory pursuing the story of the Life and Death Brigade mystery and getting closer to Logan in the process, as if it was all planned out

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail / Strategy sets the scene for the tale / I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails / And the liquor in our cocktails

S5 E7 – Enchanted

The beginning of Rory & Logan’s whirlwind love story - compete with ballgown ✨

This is me praying that / This was the very first page / Not where the story line ends / My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again / These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon / I was enchanted to meet you

S5 E8 – Last Kiss

Dean realizing he doesn't belong with Rory anymore and ending things for good

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep / And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe / And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are / Hope it's nice where you are

S5 E9 – The Way I Loved You

Emily going on a date with someone new after the separation from Richard and crying afterwards

He can't see the smile I'm faking / And my heart's not breaking / 'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all

S5 E10 – So It Goes…

Paris & Doyle’s spontaneous hook-up after speed dating

And all the pieces fall, right into place / Getting caught up in a moment / Lipstick on your face, so it goes / I'm yours to keep and I'm yours to lose

S5 E11 – seven

Lorelai being there for Christopher after his dad dies because of their long history (even though Straub was an asshole)

And I've been meaning to tell you / I think your house is haunted / Your dad is always mad and that must be why / And I think you should come live with / Me and we can be pirates / Then you won't have to cry

S5 E12 – Timeless

Richard and Emily finally reconciling because like them or not, they're definitely soulmates

I'm gonna love you when our hair is turnin' gray / We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made / And you'll say, “Oh my, we really were timeless”

S5 E13 – How Did It End?

Luke and Lorelai breaking up after the wedding and the town seeing they returned separately, starting the rumor mill

Guess who we ran into at the shops? / Walking in circles like she was lost / Didn't you hear? They called it all off / One gasp and then / How did it end?

S5 E14 – Hits Different

Lorelai reeling from the breakup, knowing Luke was the one

Movin' on was always easy for me to do / It hits different / It hits different 'cause it's you

S5 E15 – Death By a Thousand Cuts

Luke and Lorelai still pining for each other during the Fiddler on the Roof love song

And what once was ours is no one's now / I see you everywhere / The only thing we share / Is this small town / You said it was a great love / One for the ages / But if the story's over / Why am I still writing pages? / 'Cause saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

S5 E16 – Afterglow

Afterglow is the perfect song to play when Luke comes to Lorelai’s house to reconcile

It's all me, in my head / I'm the one who burned us down / But it's not what I meant / I'm sorry that I hurt you / I don't wanna do this to you / I don't wanna lose this with you

S5 E17 – Blank Space

Logan getting jealous when Rory goes to the party with Robert and acting a fool

'Cause we're young, and we're reckless / We'll take this way too far / It'll leave you breathless, mm / Or with a nasty scar

S5 E18 – Now That We Don't Talk

Rory and Logan’s communication has gone cold in this episode

I call my mom, she said that it was for the best / Remind myself the more I gave, you'd want me less / I cannot be your friend / So I pay the price of what I lost / And what it cost / Now that we don't talk

S5 E19 – I Know Places

Logan extricating Rory from his disastrous family dinner

Let them say what they want, we won't hear it / Loose lips sink ships all the damn time / Not this time

S5 E20 – I Knew You Were Trouble

Lorelai is clearly not a huge fan of Logan’s antics in this episode, and she calls him out on it

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

S5 E21 –

New Year's Day

This song is the perfect fit for the sweet scene in the limo between Luke & Lorelai

You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi / I can tell that it's gonna be a long road / I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe / Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

Fresh Out the Slammer

The theme song for when Rory & Logan get arrested for stealing the yacht

Now, pretty baby, I'm running back home to you / Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to

S5 E22 – this is me trying

Rory’s fallout with Lorelai and quitting Yale

They told me all of my cages were mental / So I got wasted like all my potential / And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad / I have a lot of regrets about that / I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere / Fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here

Season 6

S6 E1 – Lover

Luke accepting Lorelai’s marriage proposal and talking about having kids together someday

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover / My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue / All's well that ends well to end up with you

S6 E2 – The Bolter

Lorelai promises Sookie she's “not going to bolt” this time with Luke

S6 E3 – You Are In Love

Luke staying up all night to take care of Paul Anka (even though he claims to not even like dogs) because of how much he loves Lorelai

Morning, his place / Burnt toast, Sunday / You keep his shirt / He keeps his word / And for once, you let go / Of your fears and your ghosts

S6 E4 – my tears ricochet

Rory and Lorelai continuing their feud and barely speaking to each other

And I can go anywhere I want / Anywhere I want, just not home

S6 E5 – thanK you aIMee

Rory seeing the Huntzburgers again at the DAR event after they insulted her at dinner and Mitchum told her she couldn’t hack it as a journalist

And it was always the same searing pain / But I dreamed that one day, I could say / All that time you were throwing punches / I was building something / And I can't forgive the way you made me feel

S6 E6 – Crazier

Rory telling Logan she loves him for the first time

You lift my feet off the ground / You spin me around / You make me crazier, crazier / Feels like I'm falling and I / I'm lost in your eyes / You make me crazier, crazier, crazier

S6 E7 – Sad Beautiful Tragic

The tragic nature of this song fits Lorelai and Rory reuniting for the first time since their separation and realizing they’re basically strangers

Distance, timing / Breakdown, fighting / Silence, the train runs off its tracks

S6 E8 –

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

Jess and Logan meeting for the first time, and Jess being taken aback that Rory would ever date a guy like that

You saw my bones out with somebody new / Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school / And you just watched it happen

Style

Jess being the only one who knows Rory well enough to call her out about her decision to leave school

You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye / And I got that red lip classic thing that you like / And when we go crashing down, we come back every time / 'Cause we never go out of style

S6 E9 – Innocent

Rory finally comes home and deals with her shit

Time turns flames to embers / You'll have new Septembers / Every one of us has messed up too / Minds change like the weather / I hope you remember / Today is never too late to be brand new

S6 E10 – You’re Not Sorry

Lane breaks up with Zack after he sabotages their gig

You don't have to call anymore / I won't pick up the phone / This is the last straw / Don't wanna hurt anymore / And you can tell me that you're sorry / But I don't believe you baby / Like I did before / You're not sorry

S6 E11 – 22

Lorelai and Rory go to Atlantic City to celebrate her birthday

It seems like one of those nights / We ditch the whole scene / And end up dreaming instead of sleeping / I don't know about you / But I'm feeling 22

S6 E12 – Maroon

This song relates to two Gilmore relationships on the rocks in this episode - Logan doing everything he can to earn Rory back with flowers, gifts, and words; “You were standin' hollow-eyed in the hallway / Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us” and Lorelai learning that Luke kept April from her; “When the silence came, we were shaking blind and hazy / How the hell did we lose sight of us again?”

S6 E13 – The Alchemy

Logan saving the day at the Yale Daily News

Cheers chanted, ‘cause they said / There was no chance, trying to be / The greatest in the league / Where's the trophy? / He just comes running over to me / Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

S6 E14 – Karma

Paris alienating the entire Daily News staff, getting ousted, and then turning on Rory when she gets the editor position

You're talking shit for the hell of it / Addicted to betrayal, but you're relevant / You're terrified to look down / 'Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare / Of everyone you burned just to get there / It's coming back around

S6 E15 – you're losing me

Luke being a complete jerk to Lorelai at Martha’s Vineyard when she’s trying desperately to reconnect with him

Do something, babe, say something / Lose something, babe, risk something / Choose something, babe, I got nothing / To believe / Unless you're choosin' me / You're losin' me / Stop, you're losin' me

S6 E16 – Babe

Rory learning that Logan slept with all of Honor’s bridesmaids during their separation

Since you admitted it, I keep picturing / Her lips on your neck, I can't unsee it / I hate that because of you, I can't love you, babe

S6 E17 – Renegade

Lorelai struggling with Luke shutting her out when it comes to April

Is it insensitive for me to say / Get your shit together? / So I can love you / Is it really your anxiety / That stops you from giving me everything? / Or do you just not want to?

S6 E18 – Sweeter Than Fiction

Rory seeing Jess’ success as a writer and telling him how proud she is of what he has achieved

I'll be one of the many saying / Look at you now / I'll be one of the many saying / You made us proud

S6 E19 – Paper Rings

Lane and Zack get married in this episode, and Paper Rings feels like the perfect soundtrack for their friends-to-lovers story

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings / Uh huh, that's right / Darling, you're the one I want and / I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

S6 E20 – Labyrinth

Rory falling back in love with Logan after she almost lost him to the accident

Oh, I'm falling in love / I thought the plane was going down / How'd you turn it right around?

S6 E21 – it’s time to go

Lorelai realizing the wedding with Luke isn’t going to happen

That old familiar body ache / The snaps from the same little breaks in your soul / You know when it's time to go

S6 E22 – So Long, London

Lorelai giving her final ultimatum to Luke and then sleeping with Christopher

You swore that you loved me but where were the clues? / I died on the altar waiting for the proof

Season 7

S7 E1 –

Come Back… Be Here

Rory missing Logan in London

This is falling in love in the cruelest way / This is falling for you and you are worlds away / But you're in London, and I break down / 'Cause it's not fair that you're not around

Castles Crumbling

Lorelai having to tell Luke that she slept with Christopher

Never wanted you to hate me / My castle's crumbling down / And I watch all my bridges burn to the ground / And you don't want to know me / I will just let you down

S7 E2 – Would've, Could've, Should've

Lane’s regret at her life being turned upside down by such an early pregnancy instead of being able to follow her musical dreams

Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first :(

S7 E3 – The Tortured Poets Department

This song is a good metaphor for the words-based connection that Rory develops with Logan to deal with the long-distance; Who else decodes you?

S7 E4 – New Romantics

A fun girl anthem to commemorate Rory meeting Lucy and Olivia in this episode

We are too busy dancing / To get knocked off our feet / Baby, we're the new romantics / The best people in life are free

S7 E5 – The Outside

Rory feeling like she doesn’t belong in Logan’s new business world

And I can still see you, this ain't the best view / On the outside looking in / I've been a lot of lonely places / I've never been on the outside

S7 E6 – The Black Dog

This song is fitting for Luke's attempt to move on from Lorelai by going on a date at a vegan restaurant with April’s swim coach who he has absolutely nothing in common with

I move through the world with the heartbroken / My longings stay unspoken / And I may never open up the way I did for you

S7 E7 – Paris

Christopher & Lorelai get married in Paris; cue Chris singing I wanna brainwash you / Into loving me forever

S7 E8 – Suburban Legends

Rory and Logan going to his fancy work party together, then falling out when Rory judges everyone not realizing that she's one of them

You were so magnetic it was almost obnoxious / Flush with the currency of cool / I was always turning out my empty pockets

S7 E9 – So High School

Paris & Doyle aggressively tearing up at the dance floor at Lucy’s 2002 party is peak high school vibes

Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? / It's just a game, but really / I'm bettin' on all three for us two / Get my car door, isn't that sweet? / / Then pull me to the backseat / No one's ever had me, not like you

S7 E10 – The Story of Us

Christopher realizing that he rushed Lorelai into marriage before she was ready and now she’s becoming distant

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room / And we're not speaking and I'm dying to know / Is it killing you like it's killing me?

S7 E12 – exile

Chris finding the character reference for Luke and realizing he was always Lorelai’s second choice

All this time, I never learned to read your mind / I couldn't turn things around / 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

S7 E13 – The Moment I Knew

Christopher ignoring Lorelai’s calls when Richard winds up in the hospital again, while Luke immediately shows up with food and offers to help

You called me later / And said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it" / And I said, "I'm sorry too" / And that was the moment I knew

S7 E14 – Better Man

Lorelai and Chris ending their marriage; this song is especially relevant to Lorelai’s “You're the man I want to want” line

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again / But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man / But I know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand / But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man

S7 E15 – Tell Me Why

Emily going from complimenting Lorelai about her independence to being cold and uncaring again in the morning

And here's to you and your temper / Yes, I remember what you said last night / And I know that you see what you're doing to me / Tell me why

S7 E16 – Robin

An ode to Lane’s unborn sons ❤️

Way to go, tiger / Higher and higher / Wilder and lighter / For you / Long may you roar / At your dinosaurs

S7 E17 – Peter

This song represents Logan's Peter Pan regression in this episode, when Rory fights with him about his immature reaction to his business deal going wrong

I hoped you'd return / With your feet on the ground / Tell me all that you'd learned / 'Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned

S7 E18 – Clean

Lorelai has finally washed her hands of Christopher and is ready to move on, and she & Luke reconnect to talk about where things went wrong

Rain came pouring down / When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe / And by morning / Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean

S7 E19 – I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Luke and Lorelai fight about buying a new Jeep, and it's a welcome return to normalcy for them

Well, you drive me crazy half the time / The other half I'm only trying / To let you know that what I feel is true / And I'm only me when I'm with you

S7 E20 – loml

Lorelai bares her soul for Luke at karaoke, clearly still feeling the loss of him

If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary / You and I go from one kiss to getting married / Still alive, killing time at the cemetery / Never quite buried / You're the loss of my life

S7 E21 – Champagne Problems

Rory turning down Logan's marriage proposal

Your mom's ring in your pocket / My picture in your wallet / Your heart was glass, I dropped it / Champagne problems

S7 E22 – This Love

Luke and Lorelai finally reuniting after all they've been through; this is the THE Luke & Lorelai song in my book

This love is good / This love is bad / This love is alive back from the dead / These hands had to let it go free / This love came back to me

A Year in the Life

Winter – marjorie

The Gilmores grieving the loss of Richard

And if I didn't know better / I'd think you were listening to me now / If I didn't know better / I'd think you were still around / What died didn't stay dead / What died didn't stay dead / You're alive, you're alive in my head

Spring – Nothing New

Rory floundering, trying to find a career and purpose; this is absolutely the most Rory-coded song of Taylor’s

Lord, what will become of me / Once I've lost my novelty?

And I wake up in the middle of the night / It's like I can feel time moving / How can a person know everythin' at 18 / But nothin' at 22? / And will you still want me / When I'm nothing new?

Summer – illicit affairs

Rory finally breaks things off with Logan after months of cheating

Take the road less traveled by / Tell yourself you can always stop / What started in beautiful rooms / Ends with meetings in parking lots / And that's the thing about illicit affairs / And clandestine meetings and stolen stares / They show their truth one single time / But they lie, and they lie, and they lie / A million little times

Fall –

Sweet Nothing

Luke and Lorelai finally getting married, never happier

You're in the kitchen humming / All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

All Too Well

Jess still pining for Rory as one of the last shots of the series

'Cause there we are again on that little town street / You almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me / Wind in my hair, I was there / I remember it all too well

Thanks for reading if you made it this far!

#gilmore girls #taylor swift #gilmore girls x taylor swift #this was a labor of love lol #the hardest were the filler episodes #particularly proud of the luke & lorelai soundtrack #luke x lorelai #rory x jess #java junkie #literati

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dxvilschild · 1 year ago

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⠁⠂⠄⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠄

. . . ERURI PLAYLIST

Midnight Sun ── cinema staff

I’m a mirage in the heat, you’re an afterimage, like a gentle prayer amidst the city of rubble

Name of Love ── cinema staff

Let's make just one promise, to call each other by our names, to share our happiness with one another, to connect using our words, to hold on tight to our pain

In The Stars ── Benson Boone

Under the Tree ── SIM

Don't make a mess of memories, just let me heal your scars

And now you're in the stars and six-feet's never felt so far, here I am alone between the heavens and the embers

Hooked ── Why Don't We

Everybody says I'm sleeping with the enemy, I don't even care if you're gonna be the death of me

golden hour ── JVKE

For the love of my life, she's got glow on her face, a glorious look in her eyes, my angel of light

My Love Mine All Mine ── Mitski

So, when I die, which I must do, could it shine down here with you?

The World We Knew ── Frank Sinatra

Now over and over, I keep going over the world we knew. Days when you used to love me

Everybody Loves Somebody ── Dean Martin

Everybody loves somebody sometimes. And although my dream was overdue, your love made it well worth waiting

O Efedros ── Marinella

Πάει ο ήλιος, πάει κι η Αμοργός, στα μάτια του νυχτώνει κι ο έφεδρος ανθυπολοχαγός κοιμάται μες στο χιόνι

I Know You ── Faye Webster

I'm here regardless of the pain, don't ever tell me to go away

The Ballad of Lucy Gray Baird ── Rachel Zegler

It's sooner than later that I'm six feet under. It's sooner than later that you'll be alone. So who will you turn to tomorrow, I wonder?

Heart To Heart ── Mac DeMarco

To all the days we were together, to all the time we were apart of each other's lives, heart to heart

Your Best American Girl ── Mitski

You're the sun, you've never seen the night, but you hear its song from the morning birds

Happiness is a butterfly ── Lana Del Rey

If he's as bad as they say, then I guess I'm cursed. Looking into his eyes, I think he's already hurt

Ghost ── Justin Bieber

I want you to know that if I can't be close to you, I'll settle for the ghost of you

Love The Way You Lie ── Eminem ft. Rihanna

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry? Well, that's alright, because I love the way you lie

⠁⠂⠄⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠄

#eruri #aot eruri #levi ackerman #erwin smith #attack on titan #aot #eruri playlist #snk eruri

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princesshillaryellaworld25 · 8 months ago

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Sick Boyfriend sees his true past with the necklace (My AU headcanon)

Sick Boyfriend was sitting on his bed still thinking about last June when his necklace gave him powers.

Sick BF: (mind) I'm still confused, My necklace gave me powers, for what? I know it revived Drugfriend from death but I'm still curious or maybe.....

(Sick Boyfriend takes off the necklace and looks at it)

Sick BF: Or maybe.....There's something about me that I don't know or nobody in my family never told me about.

The necklace suddenly glows

Sick BF: WHAT THE?!

The heart gem glows and it spreads a big flash.

Sick Boyfriend then woke up in a white void.

Sick BF: Huh? W-Where am I? What is this place?

Sick Boyfriend walked around to look for a way out until he saw two people over there.

Sick BF: Woah who are they? *looks a little closer*

Purity Sick BF: I'm really sorry, I failed as the future ruler of heaven and now everyone is sad about my death.

???: It's okay Child, I know you can't come back to revive in heaven but I can send half of your soul to be reincarnated.

Purity Sick BF: Why? I committed so many sins and I fell in love with a demon, even though I'm not suppose to.....

???: But you have a pure heart and you showed kindness to others, I believe half of your soul deserves a second chance, I might not be able to find your other half of your soul but I can reincarnate your other half.

Purity Sick BF: Okay, Please do as you must, Lady Angela.

???: Okay, let us begin.

Sick BF: (mind) Woah, Was that Purity Me and Lady Angela? The one from my dreams? What is she doing?

Lady Angela turned half of Purity Sick Boyfriend's soul into two reborn babies. They showen to be two baby girls with a heart marks on their neck.

Sick BF: Wait, Is the one on the right me and the one on the left is my twin sister?

Then Lady Angela sends the babies to earth to be reborn.

Lady Angela: Dear blessed angels, I've send you to earth to be birth by your mother Aria Sickest.

Sick BF: Aria? She means my mom?

Then the white void transitioned to the hospital.

Sick BF:(mind) I'm at the hospital! This is where me and my twin sister was born-

Past Mrs. Sickest: AHHHHHHHH IT HURTS!

Doctor Ryan: Just one more push ma'am! We're almost done!

Past Mrs. Sickest: The pain! I can't take it much longer!

Past Mr. Sickest: We're almost done honey, just one more push!

Past Mrs. Sickest: *grunts, pushes harder*

(Pop)

Baby 1: *cries*

Nurse Willow: One came out, it's a girl!

Doctor Ryan: One more! Push!

Past Mrs. Sickest: *pushes harder and screams*

*pop*

Nurse Willow: Another one, but they're not waking up.

Past Mrs. Sickest: W-Wha?! You mean....my baby is dead?!

Nurse Willow: I'm not sure, I'm trying to feel a pulse but I can't feel their heartbeat....

Past Mr. Sickest: No....

Sick BF: (gasps) *mind* I nearly died at birth?!

Doctor Ryan: I'm terribly sorry, Sir and Ma'am-

Baby 2: (cries)

Nurse Willow: *gasps* Doc! The baby suddenly woke up!

Doctor Ryan: Woah! It's a miracle, but how?

Nurse Willow: Idk.

Past Mr. Sickest: *phew* That was close

Past Mrs. Sickest: Oh my baby! *holds the two twins*

Sick BF: (sighs) That's a relief! I survived!

Past Mr. Sickest: Look at our twins, I'm sure Sick Miku and Soda C. will love their new siblings

Past Mrs. Sickest: Yeah, Oh I know, I'll name the one on the left Rachel and the one on the right Stephanie!

Past Mr. Sickest: Those are beautiful names

Doctor Ryan: uhhhh there's something we have to tell you, the right baby has uh.....both male and female gentitals and reproductive organs, so they're both

Past Mr. Sickest: O-Oh😳

Past Mrs. Sickest: Oh my, so it's also a boy?

Doctor Ryan: Yep.

Past Mr. Sickest: Yeah, it doesn't matter, we still love them the way they are😊

Past Mrs. Sickest: Yeah 😊 and we can't rename them cause it's Parodies town law saying you can't rename them.

Past Mr. Sickest: And plus, Stephanie can be a unisex name, I'm kindly grateful to have a both gender son

Past Mrs. Sickest: Yeah

Sick BF: (mind) Ohhhhh so that's why I was named Stephanie, it can be a unisex name. But that still doesn't explain how I got powers.

A light suddenly shows what's inside the room, it shows what reveals Mrs. Sickest and Mr. Sickest's original forms. It showed his mother was a royal seraphim while his dad was an angelic demon.

Sick BF: (mind) WHAT?! My mom is a seraphim and my dad is an angelic demon?! So that means my whole family is-

Suddenly everything went white, Sick Boyfriend then woke up.

Sick BF: Woah! That just happened! Hmm.....Should I ask my parents? Is this necklace a sign of my powers? I have to find out but soon

#friday night funkin #fnf spongebob parodies #fnf headcanons #fnf mod #fnf au #sick boyfriend #birthday arc sequel

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tuiyla · 2 years ago

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does finchel ever affect your feelings for Rachel? cause i've been thinking on how much Rachel kind of annoys me in S3-4 and I think it's a LOT to do with her looking the other way when it comes to what a jackass her bf is. I feel like it may even be something the writers were conscious of because she's sort of conveniently missing/silent during things like Finn freaking out during S3 prom or when Finn outs Santana. It's like some part of them must KNOW he's wrong, or at least that an in-character Rachel would likely be horrified, so they just kind of avoid the issue.

i mean, Finchel also sucks just for being generally co-dependent and boring as hell in S3-4, but that mostly just made me dislike them as a pairing, not actually side-eye Rachel as an individual character. Whomst amongst us hasn't been hung up on a loser at some point in time? Being hung up on a guy who has deliberately hurt multiple people you consider your friends though? I have less empathy.

You know, that is an excellent question. And the answer is... kinda, yeah.

Funnily enough I'd say it was more annoying to me when rewatching seasons 1 and 2 rather than 3 and 4. I'm pretty sure I have it in my rewatch notes somewhere that it's a pain whenever Rachel goes from having her own scenes to Finchel ones because I love her but then I have to suffer through... all that. I think that blind pursuit of Finn despite him being SO far below her league annoys me much more than the two having that more established dynamic in later seasons. The story itself doesn't see any wrong in what Finn does so how could I single out Rachel for it. It's all on Finn as far as I'm concerned.

That said, I sometimes think about what a realistic Rachel reaction to either The Outing or his hissy fit during prom would have been. Sure is convenient she was absent. Rachel is a fundamentally compassionate person and it REALLY pisses me off that the show LIES to us and says Finn is a better person. Laughable. The Rachel I stan would not have condoned Finn outing someone much less do it herself and she most definitely would not have stood for Finn wrestling a disabled Quinn out of her wheelchair. But that does sour the magical romance doesn't it. Ugh, Finn.

Codependency isn't a turn off for me, I mean, helloooo, Brittana lol, but when Finchel do it it's gross. Hope that helps. I just think Finn is this status symbol for Rachel but she should have realized in season 2, tops, that she's way too good for him and that's that. I often think about how Rachel's too good for Finn, to the point that I get mad about it lmao. And so it hurts to see her simp after him, of all people. And it does get annoying, and it does affect my perception of her at times. Oh I know what I have in my rewatch notes, that Finchel bring out the worst in each other. And I think that is true even if only partially so. Rachel certainly is at her most single-minded and blind to other people when Finn is involved. But yeah you're right Anon, having an "in love with the supposed stud guy who's actually a huge loser" era is not that bad. Understandable for Rachel, really. And when it comes to Finn's crimes it's really just that the show doesn't see them, so why would Rachel.

In that respect, my views of Rachel are not effected because if I started blaming people other than Finn for IKAG I would literally hate this whole cast. Almost all ND members were being biiig flops there just by agreeing to the condescending charade. And I don't think it's Rachel's responsibility that her bf is an ass. That said, it's unfortunate that she keeps pursuing this asshole and I think most of my leats favourite Rachel moments are tied to Finchel. Because of course. So yeah Finchel affects my Rachel feelings but mostly as an annoyance, more than anything, God, she just deserves so much better.

#to be clear i get what you're saying and i mostly agree #i've seen people try to shift the blame of finn's actions on rachel tho lola nd that's...#quite the backwards feminism #her bf being such a flop is unfortunate and her fault for being with him to an extent #but i couldn't possibly hold the lack of a reaction against her #no more than i can hate all of nd for ikag really #glee asks #rachel asks #anti finchel #anti finn hudson #anon #rachel berry

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absentpholosipher · 3 months ago

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The Only battle you have to win is this life is the one inside your head.

You are your first and worst enemy.

Patience is a double edge sword.

Patience is necessary, but too much patience is dangerous.

Stop feeling embarrassed for things no one care about.

Relying on people all the time is more dangerous than you think.

If you don’t learn not to care, you’ll never be at peace.

Loneliness can be a blessing or a curse.

Loving someone is easier than loving yourself.

It during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. – Aristotle

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. – Rumi

He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still. – Lao Tzu

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. – Theodor Seuss Geisel

The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear. – Rumi

. "I just want a day where it feels like I'm not falling apart anymore." — Frank

I'm exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel." — Brighton Early

Tears are words the heart can't express." — Gerard Way

I'm tired of fighting. For once, I want to be fought for." — Dick Tate

Don't cry over someone who wouldn't cry over you.” ― Lauren Conrad

The sadness will last forever." ― Vincent Van Gogh

34. "When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps." ― John Lennon

A void in my chest was beginning to fill with anger. Quiet, defeated anger that guaranteed me the right to my hurt, that believed no one could possibly understand that hurt." ― Rachel Sontag, "House Rules"

Who do you turn to when the only person in the world that can stop you from crying, is exactly the one making you cry?" — Anita Room

"When you're happy you enjoy the music. When you're sad you understand the lyrics." — Frank Ocean

"There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy." — Dante Alighieri

"Today my forest is dark. The trees are sad and all the butterflies have broken wings." — Raine Cooper

It is a part of the human experience to feel pain, do not be afraid open yourself to it- Rupi Kaur

When the shadows around you start to feel overwhelming, remember you are the lighthouse, remember the luminous in your existence. When your mind is the darkest place you’ve known-turn the light on there is still sunshine coursing through your veins

You do not see the sun apologizing for the way that it shines, so why should you?

The moon does not ask permission to take its place in the sky and the sun does not ask permission to rise; so take your place darling, your purpose needs no permission- Arielleestoria

It is quite alright for you to take all the time you need to mend all that has been broken

If the hurt comes so will the happiness- Rupi Kaur

We are all born so beautiful, the greatest tragedy is being convinced we are not- Rupi Kaur

How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.

You don’t need closure to find happiness again, you need to find reasons to start a new chapter and put down that old book; here is one reason you deserve to be happy- Pierre Alex Jeanty

Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.  – Mark Twain

1. “Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. if it’s bad, it’s experience.” – Jean Plaidy

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss

“Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.”

“At some point you have to let go of what you thought should happen and live what is happening.”

“People say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone … truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought you’d never lose it.”

“Fear is temporary. Regret is forever.”

“Isn’t it pathetic how we waste so much time on certain people and in the end, they prove that they weren’t even worth a second of it?”

“If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” – Bruce Lee

“The trouble is, you think you have time.” – Buddha

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." — 1 Corinthians 13

"Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time." — Maya Angelou

"We're all a little weird, and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it LOVE." — Dr. Seuss

"The regret of my life is that I have not said 'I love you' often enough." — Yoko Ono

"True love is putting someone else before yourself." — Frozen

"The art of love is largely the art of persistence." — Albert Ellis

"There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to make you feel my love." — Adele

"Love’s gift cannot be given, it waits to be accepted." — Rabindranath Tagore

"Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop." — H. L. Mencken

"The best proof of love is trust." — Joyce Brothers

"Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own." — H. Jackson Brown Jr.

"I will be a poet, and you will be poetry." — François Coppée

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love!" — Sophocles

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” —Jack Handey

Bob: “Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.” Peter: “I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.”

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell

“Ned, I would love to stand here and talk with you—but I’m not going to.” —Phil Connors (Bill Murray

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” —Michael Scott (Steve Carrell)

“I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”

"The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love." — Henry Miller

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." — 1 Corinthians 13

"If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk through my garden forever." — Alfred Tennyson

"The giving of love is an education in itself." — Eleanor Roosevelt

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

“Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.” – Washington Irving

“Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third.” – Marge Piercy

“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.” – Barbara De Angelis

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holylulusworld · 1 year ago

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Big grumpy bear (4)

Summary: He’s grumpy. You are sweet. A match made in heaven.

Pairing: Alpha!Walter Marshall x OmegaReader

Warnings: a/b/o, a/b/o dynamics, grumpy alpha, scenting, fluff, mentions of injuries, a lil angst, insecure reader, idiots in love (Walter)

Catch up here: Big grumpy bear (3)

Big grumpy bear masterlist

“No, no. You will give me this and sit down omega. I’ve got this,” Walter almost rips the bags filled with groceries out of your hands. You barely made it inside his house before he took the bags out of your hands. “I’m healthy again. Next week, I can go back to work.”

“The doctor said you are allowed to do desk work, nothing else,” you point out. “Put the groceries down. You are still injured.”

You purse your lips and wait for Walter to follow your order. He smirks as you put your hands on your hips to glare up at him. Walter finds it cute that you are smaller than him but try to dominate the tall alpha sometimes.

“Fine, but you will sit down too. You look tired, Y/N,” he quirks a brow, waiting for you to give in. “Don’t make me use my alpha voice. I’ll put the groceries away, and then I’ll drive you home.”

“Home?” your eyes widen, and you gasp audibly. “You want me to leave? But… I need to take care of you. Why do you want me to go?”

You whimper, and your omega wants to curl into a ball. Walter wants you to leave. Maybe he doesn’t like you at all. What if you only imagined the vulnerable bond forming between you and the alpha?

Walter sighs when you choke out a sob. He places the paper bags on the kitchen counter to explain he didn’t mean to hurt you. He’s simply worried about your well-being. “Y/N, I…”

The doorbell stops him from explaining things to you. He grunts and turns to open the door. “Just a minute. Let me answer the door.”

“It’s fine…”

You look at the bags filled with groceries, sighing deeply. Is this how rejection feels? You shake your head and choke out a sob.

Maybe it’s better this way. People at your workplace started to spread rumors about you and the alpha.

While you ponder if you should try harder to get his attention, he opens the door, barely greeting his visitor. “Rachel?” Walter furrows his brows when his colleague and former lover stands in front of his door.

“Walter, I came by to bring you this,” she pushes a food container into Walter’s hands. So far, she didn’t care for the alpha, but she heard that you came to Walter every day to take care of him and tries to make the alpha see she's the better omega for him. “Someone must take care of you.”

“I get it now,” you sniffle. “You wanted me to leave so she can take care of you. I guess you want something else…not me. Never me.”

“Rachel, you shouldn’t be here,” Walter pushes the food container back into Rachel’s hands. “I told you years ago that we are never going to get together again.”

Walter slams the door shut. He exhales sharply before turning his attention to you.

“I should go…you were right,” you are unsure if you want to fight for Walter or just give up. You cannot compare to Rachel, that much you know. She’s not quirky and bubbly like you. Rachel is all a man like Walter wants.

“Y/N, I…” you run toward the guest room to get your bag, sniffling as Walter follows you. “Wait…please. I didn’t know she would come around. Omega wait!”

You stop in your tracks. Walter just used his alpha voice, and your hindbrain must obey his order. “I-“ you sniffle.

“She’s not the one I want,” Walter steps around you. He gently puts his hands on your arms, running them up and down. “Look at me.”

You whip your head toward his to look up at him, eyes filled with unshed tears. “You’re annoyingly cute, and you don’t take no for an answer. Usually, I don’t like having women at my home for longer than needed…” He smirks when you wrinkle your nose. “But…I kinda like you.”

“You do?” You wonder aloud. Did he just say that he likes you? “You slammed the door in her face.”

“I didn’t invite her,” Walter casually says, but it makes your heart flutter.

“You didn’t invite me either,” you batt your eyelashes and pout. “Will you kick me out too?” Holding his gaze, you try to play it cool, but your heart is beating out of your chest.

“You’re hard to get rid of, and I can’t let you drive at that time of the day. You look tired too,” he cups your face with one large hand. “I’ll keep you around for a little longer. Maybe it’s time that I take care of you, omega…”

Part 5

#walter marshall #walter marshall x reader #walter marshall x you #a/b/o #alpha!walter marshall x omega!reader #alpha!walter marshall #walter marshall x y/n #Big grumpy bear (4)

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im-probably-bored · 7 months ago

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The Ross and Rachel effect- A poem by me

I never understood why it is people go back to the ones who hurt them,

I never understood why relationships are on and off,

The Ross and Rachel effect,

I just never got it,

You split,

You are at an end,

When the person you love most,

Sends your life,

Your being,

Your existence,

Into turmoil,

Surely

I mean surely,

That love must be lost come the end,

That care you once felt for that person,

Must part ways with your mind,

It's the only logical explanation,

Your mind must protect your heart,

Should your heart become battered,

Bruised,

Scarred,

By another human being,

Your mind should protect it,

Stop the love,

Stop the care,

Avoid that person,

At all costs,

But I think I understand now,

The Ross and Rachel effect,

It is your mind that hurts you,

Your mind that allows you to go back,

Because it knows your heart can take it,

It knows you heart wants to take it,

It convinces you that maybe,

Just maybe,

Things will be different this time around,

And I do believe it can be,

Can people change?

Really change I mean,

I'm starting to believe so,

Because I want him,

So badly,

I never want attention,

Another human being is not something I have ever seen as necessary,

So surely,

Feeling this magnetism,

This pull,

This addiction,

This pure craving,

For just a touch of his fingertips,

For just the feeling of his breath on my neck as he pulls me in for a hug,

Surely my body feeling his hands around my waist,

Even as he is not here,

Surely it means he is the one,

The one I want,

The one I need,

The Ross and Rachel effect is real,

And yes it may have hurt the first time around,

But now we are at attempt 2,

And the hope I have is real,

I know we can do it right this time,

I know our hearts are meant to be one,

We are human,

We just made mistakes last time,

We apologised,

We admitted,

We know what we need to change,

To do different,

So this time around,

It will be perfect,

And finally we can succeed,

Finally we can be whole together,

I love him.

#poetry #the ross and rachel effect #poem

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mymanyfandomramblings · 8 months ago

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Gleecap 5x05--The End of Twerk

I have heard nothing good about this episode but lets see!!

Firstly, I resent the implication that a 'cheater' is the kind of guy Jake is. That, I do not believe

Blaine, my beloved goofball.

Mr Schue--often I am on your side. This time, I am not

I love Artie's exasperation at 'all you need is a working booty'

"You Are Woman, I am Man" was super sweet

The bathroom rebelliousness is ridiculous

Oh, so it's a wig. Nice to know.

Kurt's 'yes, it was very stressful' was perfect delivery

Kurt's idea of rebellious is hilarious--it brings me back to Bad Reputation and singing in the library being peak rebelliousness

Sue's responses to problems is always so overblown. She's not entirely wrong though

Blurred Lines...smh. That is all I will say.

For what is perhaps the first time ever, I must side with Sue over Will.

Kurt is the second misspelled tattoo of the show. Also him being shirtless reveals that Chris Colfer is much less tiny then when the show started

Ohh, poor Unique

Rare Artie without a sweater sighting. I am vaguely alarmed

Unique's vocals are stunning. So haunting and the vibrato is glorious

I love you, Glee guys being willing to sail in and defend those of your number, particularly the girls

Tina and Sam look *chefs kiss* in their waltzing looks

Unique and Artie also look cool in the 1920s outfits

Scratch it, I'm pretty sure EVERYONE'S cute historical looks are going to be adorable

Will's presentation was...cool, even if I still think his platform is fundamentally wrong

Ooh, Unique's new wig is fabulous

Everywhere Kurt goes, he meets oddly insightful strangers

Bree makes me want to murder her. That is all.

Poor Marley...

Also her dress is so cute i love it sm

Mr Schue is redeeming himself with Unique here

Mr Schue looks so hurt when Becky yells at him, I love it

Aaaaand, now Will has gone and undredeemed himself

WILLIAM MICHAEL SCHUESTER! It is funny to see Sue responding to a tantrum like one of her own.

I love the xylophone appearing out of absolutely nowhere, just for Becky to destroy

No, Kurt, why would you pierce your tongue?

Aww, Rachel got a little 'Finn' tattoo. That's sweet

Aaaand Will is back to redeeming himself

Marley's dress is pretty!

On Our Way is simply everything to me

Marley's vocals are so haunting

#garnet's gleecaps #glee

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corelliaxdreaming · 1 year ago

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Dear Yuletide Writer

First of all, thank you! I'm pretty easy to please, and I can't wait to see what you come up with for me.

Secondly, I'd love to receive treats from anyone! I forgot to put this in my sign-up, so I hope this counts too.

I'll list my general likes and dislikes, though there are a small number of exceptions in my notes for specific fandoms.

Likes:

~any genre, hard fluff to hard angst

~any rating

~hurt/comfort, especially emotional

~anxious and/or depressed and/or PTSD-suffering characters + supportive partners/friends who are always there for them even if they don't quite understand what they're going through

~porn with feelings

~aromantic spectrum characters, asexual spectrum characters, and/or queerplatonic relationships. I'm aroace and in a QPR myself, so I have a lot of these types of headcanons.

~“unconventional” relationships in general (coparenting while not being involved romantically/sexually, aroallo or alloace relationships, platonic life partners, being close friends with an ex, polyamory, etc etc)

DNWs:

~noncon/dubcon/cheating/violence between requested characters

~amatonormativity (the idea that romantic relationships are more important than other kinds, the assumption that all people desire a romantic relationship and would automatically be happier with one, sort of a form of arophobia)

~compulsory sexuality (the assumption that all people desire sex and would automatically be happier than without it, sort of a form of acephobia)

Now for specific fandom notes:

We Are A Picturesque Small Town And We Refuse To Be The Setting For Your RomCom - Rachel McKenny

(Chet Anderson, Medical Practitioner, Lumber Industry Professional, Billionaire – My gift must feature one or more of my chosen character tags (giver's choice))

I just love the aromantic vibes this one gives off with all the townspeople being so fed up with romance. What if this in fact a town full of arospecs? Perhaps someone comes there looking for romance and finds about this other way of living. Or perhaps a “couple” (or moresome) from the town follows the steps of one of those stereotypical romance storylines, but they’re really in a platonic/queerplatonic relationship? Would especially love to see Chet show up as aromantic and be totally done with the shenanigans as he prosecuting someone for their crimes.

On the other hand, I can see this turning Twilight Zone-esque. Perhaps there literally can’t be romance past the borders of the town. How and why? What happens if someone with romantic feelings enters? (If you choose this, please be careful not to make it arophobic. For example, no insisting/inferring that not having romance in their live is inherently sad/pathetic/unfulfilling/etc for every single person.)

In either case, it would be super fun to see appearances of some of the little details like the specific businesses (especially the combo ones) and literal holidays mentioned in the piece.

Pocahontas (Disney Movies)

(Mrs. Jenkins, John Rolfe, Pocahontas, John Smith – My gift must feature all of my chosen character tags; or it may use exceptions I explain in the form)

For this one, please include Pocahontas and the Johns; Mrs. Jenkins is fun but optional. (Though they're no nominated, appearances from any of the animal characters would also be enjoyed.) Despite knowing it's based on history, I've always been kind of bummed Pocahontas ended up with Rolfe instead of Smith. But last time I watched, I was struck by how much I liked the idea of them as an OT3. Each pair has a fun dynamic between them, and this way, everybody “wins.”

As a side note, I know these movies are based on some contentious real history with all the sharp corners Disney sanded off. I'm not ignoring that, but I am just looking for something set in this fictional version.

Snuggly Pup Palace (Podcast)

(Listener | Pooch Palace Visitor, Heather, Sam, Daisy – My gift must feature one or more of my chosen character tags (giver's choice))

I just want to see something more in this setting with the same sort of chill vibe. Maybe just a slice of life of how the Pooch Palace runs. Maybe a continuation or sequel of the sleepcast itself. Maybe a bit of expansion on Sam and/or Health and how they came to work here and what they think of it. Daisy might be my favorite fictional dog; what an absolute sweetheart.

FAITH (Airdorf Video Games)

(John Ward, Father Garcia, Amy Martin – My gift must feature one or more of my chosen character tags (giver's choice))

For this fandom specifically, canon levels of violence/gore are fine, even between the requested characters. Religious content is also fine, but please nothing overtly preachy. I'm not religious, and I'm not looking to be converted.

John is my favorite here. My Type when it comes to characters is very much “guy who tries so hard to do the right thing and suffers for it and is kind of a real kicked puppy type.” So just, I dunno, anything kind of about that? Or maybe what happened to him after the game? I don't recall which ending is meant to be “canon,” but I like the one where Garcia basically becomes his mentor. I like that take on their relationship, but I'm also not opposed to shipping them. (Big fan of John's more-or-less canon bisexuality.) I'm also a little fascinated by John's relationship with Amy and how easily she forgives him toward the end of the game, even after everything. How did she reach that point? And how much must that have thrown him for a loop?

Merge Mansion (Video Game)

(Maddie Boulton, Rufus, Emilio Costa, Roddy Took – My gift must feature one or more of my chosen character tags (giver's choice)

I know Maddie never realizing that the guys are coming on to her is an ongoing joke, but it really reads are her being aromantic/arospec to me. I'd love to see some exploration of that. Maybe she doesn't know it yet herself? Maybe she talks to Rufus about how she just doesn't understand?

If not, sort of anything that's just fun and light related to this game and not featuring Maddie romance would be great. Maybe something based on one of the events or areas. I know the actual merge gameplay doesn't really convert to real life, but seeing some of those objects might be fun.

Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles (Song)

(Eleanor Rigby, Father McKenzie – My gift must feature one or more of my chosen character tags (giver's choice))

I don't get out much musically, so I've just heard this song for the first time relatively recently (specifically the Cody Fry version) and was kinda fascinated by it. What is Eleanor's story? Does McKenzie really give sermons to an empty church? What is their relationship (now romantic/sexual please!) How lonely are they really? My brain likes the idea that Eleanor might be aro/arospec and alone by choice. (And if you wanna go weird, some dark corner of my brain likes the idea of her face in a jar being literal.)

#yuletide #yuletide 2023

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winchestergirl2 · 1 year ago

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For reasons he can’t tell you, it makes a twinge of guilt hit him behind the ribs.

Oh, Alec.

Sketchy is grinning, shoots him a thumbs up as the two of you pass by.

Really Sketchy!! Not the time or place for that reaction. I actually laughed when he got all Alec's deliveries later on and her reaction to that. Serves him right!

Alec hides it well, but inside, his chest aches the way his face should. He doesn’t altogether know or want to think about why.

Something tells me she means more to him than he wants to admit or maybe even realises.

“Come on, boo. I’m buyin’ your drinks at Crash tonight,” she says. You loop your arm through hers.

Love Original Cindy!

“I’m sorry,” he says, finally looking at you again. “I should’ve made it clear from the beginning that I wasn’t looking for anything serious.”

Ouch! I get why he's saying it and acting the way he is, but that was harsh and must have been crushing to hear.

Alec didn’t see it at the time, not completely. He now knows just how deeply fucked up he was.

And is.

There’s no fixing it, like there’s no use trying to fix a broken toy.

Poor Alec 💔 💔

He knows he hurt you, but he also thinks it’s working out better this way. Better that you walk away from him, before he gets you hurt even worse.

This is so very Alec. Reminds me of the comment he made to Asha at Crash when he was telling her she doesn't want to get involved with him.

“I didn’t understand,” he whispers brokenly. “I didn’t understand…how much I loved you.”

💔 My heart broke for him pretty much the whole episode, but particularly this bit when he was saying this at Rachel's bedside. I just wanted to comfort him here.

He seems different though. He looks like he’s one step shy of falling apart, and you’ve never seen such rawness in his eyes.

I absolutely love how this whole scene unfolded. I could feel all the emotion from both of them, and it felt so believable.

The internal struggle they were both going through was conveyed perfectly.

“I was an idiot. I didn’t know what it meant,” Alec says. “I do now.”

I really like how you carried this theme through and applied it to her and Alec's relationship as well as his and Rachels. And the growth that he has gone through to really understand now...

But again, he’s selfish. This time, he understands why his heart is pulsing with both pain and longing when he stares into your eyes for too long.

LOVE how you have so seamlessly fit this into that episode ❤️

Being Human – Part 2

Pairing: Alec McDowell x F. Reader

Summary: Your life made sense before Alec slipped his way in. He unravels your threads without even trying. He frustrates you as easily as he weasels back into your good graces. But you soon realize that this man is worth the challenge.

AN: Thank you for your lovely responses on Part 1!! I'm very excited to bring you the next chapter of Being Human.

Chapter Summary: You know that Alec is hiding something, and it’s more than the fact that he’s been dating another girl behind your back. [Set during 2.11]

Song Inspo: “Sailing” by Avant

Word Count: 6,200

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. Angst, two-timing (don’t worry), mentions of Manticore’s training (torture), hurt/comfort, mega feels, smuttishness.

💜 Series Masterlist

Part 2: The Only Place

Alec showing up at your door unannounced isn’t anything new.

This time, however, he comes bearing a raw chicken in a plastic bag and a sack of potatoes. Your eyes go wide as you let him into your apartment.

“Where the hell did you find that,” you gesture at the chicken. In this economy, it might as well have been a five-pound lobster with a side of caviar.

Alec waggles his brows at you and flashes his familiar grin.

“Farmer’s market,” he says. “I fought some rich lady and her Pomeranian for this.”

You extend “gimme gimme” fingers at the bag as you lick your lips. You two are going to eat good tonight. You can even use the bones to make soup for the rest of the week.

Still, something niggles at the back of your mind.

“But this must’ve been so expensive. You didn’t have to do this,” you say, looking up from the bag of goods to your boyfriend’s face. He gives you an easy smile as his arm hooks around your waist.

“Don’t worry about it. I won a few pool game bets off Sketchy. Not to mention a couple of his paychecks,” Alec says.

His smirk makes you shake your head, but you wonder if he’s telling you the truth. He always seems to have cash to spare, despite the fact that he’s only been working at Jam Pony for a few months—barely making minimum wage.

Regardless, you start to prepare the chicken with what seasonings you have in your pantry while Alec peels the potatoes for you. You glance at him out of the corner of your eye.

Not for the first time, you wonder how he really lives. You’ve never been to his apartment before. Despite being friends with Max (there seems to be history there), he just got to Seattle a few months ago. And as for family, he claimed he had to leave home.

“It was what you’d call…an unstable environment,” he’d said.

That, you could understand. Your own father had died when you were fairly young. After the Pulse, a virus had swept through and ravaged your hometown in rural Massachusetts.

Unfortunately, a shortage of antibiotics at the local hospitals left your mom without much help to fight off what ailed her body. You’d spread her ashes in the Charles River, where she used to love to paddleboat with you when you were a kid.

Then, you’d packed up what little you had and left the East Coast to make a life for yourself out here, alone. The city had been a challenge for you at first, being a smalltown girl at heart, but the hustle and bustle distracted you in a way you’d needed.

Now, Seattle has become your home, for better or worse.

Alec knows all of this about you. He knows about your guilty pleasure of fried eggs, rice, and Vienna sausages: one of the ultimate struggle meals. He knows you love ice cream so much, you’d eat it for breakfast if you could.

He also knows you wanted to be a veterinarian, of all things, before the pulse. Now you have no hope or prayer of ever affording college, even if you tried.

But Alec…he still largely remains a mystery to you, no matter how deep he’s wedged himself under your skin.

“You’re really concentrating on that chicken,” Alec says, but his voice startles you, as it’s suddenly very close to your ear. You jump slightly as his arms wrap around your frame from behind.

You giggle a little, but you tilt your head to allow him access when his lips find your neck.

“Have I thanked you for this yet?” you ask. “I can’t remember the last time I had honest to God poultry…that also didn’thave a 50% chance of being radioactive.”

You feel the shape of Alec’s smile against your skin.

“No, as a matter of fact, but feel free to express your gratitude sexually,” he rejoins.

You have to laugh in earnest at that. You wash your hands in the sink before you turn in his arms and take his face gently in your hands. You bring him down to you for a sweeter kiss than he expected.

“Thank you,” you whisper against his lips. “It’s nice, having someone who thinks about me.”

His brows furrow a bit at that. He didn’t think bringing you an unexpected meal would be all that impressive, but…he also knows how long you’ve been alone.

For reasons he can’t tell you, it makes a twinge of guilt hit him behind the ribs.

All throughout dinner, and afterwards, Alec is hooked on the familiar soap opera playing on the TV in the living room. You both are sitting on the couch, but you’re half watching him, amused by his reactions. He’s absolutely glued to an episode you’ve already seen.

“You’re even more obsessed than I am,” you tease.

Alec spares you a wan look. “I just wanna know whose baby it is.”

A teasing smile forms across your face as you shift onto your knees and lean over to him, as if whispering a secret in his ear.

“And it’s actually twins,” you tease.

His expression of enrapture shifts with a wry edge.

“Twins, huh?”

That seems to take him out of his enjoyment, somehow.

You frown a little. “You okay?”

“Always,” he responds, glancing at you. He visibly lightens up, pulling you into his lap with a muttered, Come ‘ere.

You giggle at his manhandling and oblige him with a few stolen kisses.

You feel bold enough to push him back to lie on the couch, and he actually lets you. His hands find your hips while you move to straddle his. Your fingertips drift down his chest as you consider him with a tilt of your head.

“Why haven’t I ever been to your place?” you ask. You draw an imaginary pattern across his chest, grazing him with your nails. His skin prickles under his clothes, but he stares up at you and shrugs without giving into your distraction.

“What, do you live above a strip club or something?” you add, smirking.

Alec’s expression matches yours as he squeezes your hips. “I like coming to you.”

Letting out a breath through your nose, you lean down and try plying him with slow, nipping kisses down his jawline, then his neck.

“Hmm, I still think you’re evading,” you say between kisses. “Tell me. Why haven’t you invited me back to your apartment?”

“Aren’t you getting demanding,” he teases back, even though his breath hitches when you nip a bit harder, just under his ear. Your deft hands run over his chest, toying with his senses. Already the scent of the soap you use has invaded his nose, like it always does. Jasmine.

“You knew this about me,” you say against his skin. He feels the movements of your lips like an added tease.

“Yeah,” he acknowledges. His smirk deepens. “Not gonna lie, I kinda like it.”

You smile. “So answer the question. Or do I have to punish you?”

Fuck, sweetheart, be my guest, Alec thinks. But he forces himself to focus on your words, reading between the lines of what you’re really fishing for.

“My place isn’t all that safe,” he says.

You snort. “Safe is relative in this city. Besides, I thought you said my apartment was questionable at best.”

“I said you needed better security.”

“You’re my security.”

Alec’s smirk returns at that. “Is that all I’m good for?”

“Better than a doorman,” you joke, leaning down to him again. “You deliver right to my door.”

“You think you’re so clever,” Alec says. Your lips find his in a kiss, and they lure him back into the pull of you. How easy it would be, just to let you “catch” him. Every night. Every day.

Your arms cage his head as you finally lay down on top of him, slowly rolling your hips against his. Both of you feel his hardness twitch against your thigh. You smirk against his lips.

“And right on time,” you quip.

“All right, that’s enough outta you,” Alec says, and he claims you with a more demanding kiss. His fingers sink into your hair tightly.

But you press your hand to his cheek, making him pause for a moment. The amusement fades from his eyes the longer he stares into yours. You’re not teasing or joking anymore.

You lower down and kiss him with meaning. With tenderness.

You don’t know how it makes that coil of guilt grip him like a vice.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me,” you mutter.

Your exasperation has reached an all-time high.

You’re really trying not to clock this bitch in the throat. When she grabs you by the hair, however, you have no choice.

Your punch lands squarely up the bridge of Marina’s nose with a crack that makes even Original Cindy wince.

You feel sick to your stomach.

Not just because your coworker and former friend Marina has stumbled to the floor, looking up at you with ire and a bloody nose. But because you just found out that you and Marina have somehow been dating the same man.

Alec had been standing off to the side with a semblance of concern behind his eyes (but mostly shock). You turn to him next, and he freezes. All the nearby Jam Pony employees watch the scene as you grasp Alec’s arm and warn him with only your eyes—it’s in his best interest to follow you to the lockers.

He acquiesces, even though his shifty eyes say he wants to bolt. Cindy’s shaking her head with a flat expression. Max is outright glaring at him. Sketchy is grinning, shoots him a thumbs up as the two of you pass by.

Alec heeds your unspoken demand, but he crosses his arms once you let go of him.

“Apparently, Marina claims you’re her boyfriend,” you accuse. You press two fingers into his chest. “Despite the fact that you’ve only been dating her for what, two weeks tops? A relief to me, since I thought we’d been dating for almost two months.”

Alec laughs nervously and rubs the back of his head. “Well, you know, we never did say that we were exclusive—”

“Did you sleep with her?” you ask.

He falters at the look on your face. So incredibly hurt, but still holding out a sliver of hope.

The longer he stays quiet, the more that too starts to dim.

You can’t help yourself. You slap him across the face.

Alec takes the hit, making it look like it actually hurt him in the way he snaps his face to the side. He’s more shocked than anything, though he knows he doesn’t have a right to be.

Your lower lip trembles, but you also gasp with a wince and hold your hand, because somehow his face felt like a slab of iron. Shit! Does he have a metal plate in his head or something?

Alec sighs. “You okay there?”

He reaches for your hand, but you back away from him.

“Don’t touch me. Never touch me again,” you say shakily, through tears.

You don’t want to admit that your heart is breaking. You fucking idiot. You should’ve known your instincts would be right about Alec McDowell.

You grab your clipboard and your forgotten backpack from the floor by your locker, and you walk away from him before your tears start to fall.

In the aftermath of the fight, Normal raises hell about the fact that Marina’s quitting. You can’t really give a shit, but you’re not about to follow suit. You’ve never, and will never let a man get between you and your money.

You take your deliveries for the morning and start on your route.

And if you have to park your bike in an alleyway to cry without the prying eyes of your coworkers, then that’s your right as a woman.

Alec hides it well, but inside, his chest aches the way his face should. He doesn’t altogether know or want to think about why.

So he worms his way into a delivery run with Max to distract himself (and to escape Jam Pony HQ). Max gives him hell, as expected, but he tries to ignore her and get this job over with so he can drink himself into a stupor at Crash tonight.

…Or try to. Getting drunk is a difficult feat with his genetics, not to mention a very expensive pastime.

Right now, he and Max are riding their bikes through the richey rich side of town, so at least it’s cleaner. Manicured hedges and tall gates surround every house here. It’s almost kind of familiar, though he’s too focused on following Max to care much.

“I mean, it’s not like I intended to date ‘em both at the same time,” he defends himself. “And then when it turned out I was dating them both at the same time, it’s not like I didn’t intend to tell both girls about the other one. …You know, eventually.”

It’s like the universe itself calls himself out on his lie when the front tire of his bike skids. He pulls to a sharp stop in front of an iron gate and falls over onto the asphalt, but his reflexes are quick, and he picks himself up with a forced spring in his step.

“But let’s be real for a moment, shall we?” he says. “I mean, suppose I did tell them. What would happen, huh? Same thing. Big fight. Lots of anger and resentment and recriminations, and then who wins? Nobody.”

Max continues to watch him with a deadpan frown. “Well, at least in this case, you won.”

“Exactly,” Alec smiles, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. His expression falls anyway. “Well, no. Seeing as though neither of them will be likely to speak to me, which makes any kind of sex a virtual impossibility…at least for a couple of days.”

Max rolls her eyes. “Clearly both of them lost their damn minds to even give you the time of day.”

Alec has a witty retort on the tip of his tongue, but it’s waylaid by a memory that used to make him smile. It now just settles heavily in his chest.

Two Months Ago...

Just then, the bartender slides you a beer you’ve already ordered. You thank him and give Alec a smile.

“Got it covered, thanks,” you reply, sipping the froth off your drink.

Alec sighs and crosses his arms. “When are you gonna stop putting the freeze on me?”

“When I’m not part of your internal checklist of Breasts on Legs,” you answer.

Alec scoffs and holds his chest.

“That’s hurtful,” he claims. “It really is.”

But he shifts toward you in his seat, cutting off your smile. You tense up and blush at his proximity, making his grin deepen.

Damn, she smells good, he thinks.

“Besides,” he says, “I always save the best for last.”

He knows he’s making you nervous in a good way. He can sense it, though you eye him wryly. He means to go in for the kill, but he’s thwarted when Original Cindy slides into the seat on your other side. She tosses you a wink, the way women do when they have their own unspoken language.

You then smirk in Alec’s face.

“Keep trying. Maybe someday I’ll lose my mind,” you say, with a teasing raise of brows.

He’s still amused as he shakes his head. “You’re unbelievable. Insulting, yet, still somehow endearing.”

He means it. Every time you turn him down, he’s genuinely disappointed.

But if you ever change your mind, he’ll be right here waiting.

That memory falters as Alec stares up at the familiar mansion. He just doesn’t remember that he’s been here before—not until he rings the doorbell. That sound dislodges a fragment in his mind.

One that makes him hide from the surveillance cameras on instinct. It has him throwing the package over the gate and grabbing Max to guide her away from the house before they’ve been able to get a signature.

And a name rings through all the clutter. A name that was once seared into his mind is wrenched open like a badly sewn wound.

Rachel.

You don’t see Alec for a few days. Which is good, because you’ve been avoiding him.

Until he finally shows up for work, and somehow, he looks off. He lacks the jovial, devil-may-care attitude he wears like a second skin.

He glances at you down the line at your locker, catching your gaze.

You still can’t bear it. You turn your head away, feeling like a coward. You hear his locker door slam loudly and he leaves without even getting his schedule from Normal.

You rest your head against the cool metal of your locker.

“Where the hell’re you going, mister!” Normal calls after his former favorite employee.

Despite your better judgment, you sigh and push away from your locker to face your boss.

“He’s got a stomach bug. Real nasty,” you call out.

Normal’s frown deepens, but his expression softens from his hardened edge.

“Oh. Well…that’s all he needed to say,” he sniffs. He hands what would’ve been Alec’s load of packages onto Sketchy, who gives him a flat look.

“Go, get to work. Bip, bip!” Normal points a finger at him, then dismissively at the door.

Sketchy rolls his eyes, but he makes sure to send you a “thankful” look before he heads out. You give him a sardonic smile. Serves him right for taking Alec’s side in this whole messy situation, like the man children they both are.

Original Cindy comes to your side and lightly bumps your hip. She’s a strong support as always, and you give her a small smile.

“Come on, boo. I’m buyin’ your drinks at Crash tonight,” she says. You loop your arm through hers.

“Thank God for you, OC,” you breathe, though with a smile that feels a little more like yourself.

“Ladies night, it is,” she snaps playfully.

And if that’s what tonight is, then you’re going to look good. No ratty jeans and boots meant for walking. After work, you dive into the depths of your closet and find an old favorite of yours: a black leather skirt and a lacey top, open-backed and a sweetheart neckline. You complete the look with a pair of heeled ankle boots and the only shade of red lipstick you own.

You just don’t count on Alec wanting a night out too.

He hangs out at Crash all the time. You can’t be surprised, you remind yourself, when you spot him at the bar. Except he doesn’t wear his usual suave confidence. No, he’s hunched over a glass of whiskey as he sits alone in front of the bartender. He doesn’t even notice you, Max, and Cindy as you guys claim your usual table in the back.

You can’t help it though. Your eyes keep drifting back to him.

Both Max and Cindy catch you, with something like sympathy on the latter’s face.

“I’ve never seen him like this before,” Cindy remarks. “Anguished, and all Heathcliff-like.”

She’s right, you think. He’s been like this for days.

Max seems to know him better than anyone. You turn to her in askance.

“This isn’t just because of…what happened, is it?” you say.

Max sighs and shakes her head. “No. I don’t think so.”

But she’s either unable, or unwilling to give you any more to go on.

…Goddamn it, you think, as you contemplate doing something stupid, like going over there to talk to him. You know you shouldn’t give him the time of day, but God help you, you still care about this asshole.

You heave a sigh. “I’ll be back in a few. And if not, I give you full permission to haul my ass out of this bar.”

“Don’t do it,” Cindy advises, with the tone of someone who knows you’re not going to listen.

You get up from the table and give your friends a placating hand. You roll your shoulders and force your feet to move—towards the bar.

The seat to Alec’s left is empty, and you take it. His gaze slides toward you, and he’s forced to do a double take. His familiar once-over has you almost smirking, but even that is missing something. It’s like something sucked the life right out of him.

He gives you a haphazard smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Thought you weren’t talking to me,” he says.

“How many of those are you going to drink?” you ask, gesturing at the third glass of whiskey in his hand. He glances down at it, then at nothing as his gaze travels away from you.

“Until I can’t feel the burn anymore,” he replies. Even his voice isn’t like him, dull and wry.

You hesitate, but you surprise even yourself by offering an olive branch.

“Look, if you want to talk about what happened…or anything else—” you try, but he cuts you off.

“I’m sorry,” he says, finally looking at you again. “I should’ve made it clear from the beginning that I wasn’t looking for anything serious.”

Your heart plummets. Your mouth works past shock and fresh hurt. You fight the sting in your eyes as your mouth flattens.

“So, you and I were just casual,” you confirm. “None of it meant anything to you?”

He looks over at you and pins you there. There’s a glimmer of something behind the cool green of his eyes. Like maybe part of him wants to rebel and give you hope.

He stays quiet.

So with tears in your eyes, you close out your tab, and you leave the bar to go home. You can’t even bring yourself to look over at your friends. You’re too embarrassed.

Meanwhile, Alec focuses on the contents of his glass, even though he knows nothing will ever be enough to numb him.

Now that Manticore’s psychological reprogramming has crumbled, now that he remembers what happened two years ago—and what he did—nothing will make his fractured, bloody insides feel like nothing ever again.

Max and Original Cindy see the entire scene play out from across the bar. Cindy shakes her head with a hum of disappointment that black women have perfected.

Max’s answer is to get up, with much the same reluctance as you had, albeit for different reasons.

“I know I’m gonna regret this,” she sighs.

“Take your time,” Cindy says. She already has her flirtatious eye on another woman by the pool table.

Max smiles in amusement and leaves her friend to her business. She goes to her fellow transgenic and slips into the same seat you occupied moments before. Alec barely looks up at her.

“Call me crazy but I get the feeling you’re in some kind of jam,” she says. “More than just about your messy ex situation, though that was a nice cold shoulder you gave her.”

“Okay, you’re crazy,” he replies, raising his glass back to his lips.

Max presses her luck, asking about the locket Alec has always kept. At Manticore, he’d kept it in his shoe. He’d pull it out at night and try to remember why it was important, but he never could. All he knew was that it made him feel better, and he’d go to sleep easier.

Max saw it on him days ago. And now they both know it had belonged to Rachel Barrister, daughter of Robert Barrister. The man Alec was once sent to kill.

He’d both failed and succeeded.

“Curiosity killed the cat, Max,” Alec says snidely. “Stay out of my business.”

“Fine,” she says, but part of her still worries about him. And she worries about you. “Look, I know we don’t always get along—”

“Nicely understated,” he cuts, and sets down his glass a bit too hard on the counter. The bottom of it fractures. “Barkeep!”

“But if you’re in some kind of trouble and you need my help, then you should ask now, and not when it’s too late and everything’s all messed up, like you usually do,” she says.

“Well, I appreciate the offer, Max. I really do,” he says dryly, “but you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Then explain it to me.”

“You know, I would, see, but…you wouldn’t understand,” Alec says. He points out that Max and the rest of her little X5 friends left Manticore (escaped) when they were kids. The truth is, she has no idea what he’s endured ever since.

Manticore cracked down on the next series of X5s like him, and every series afterwards—they all paid the price for what Manticore saw as the failure of Max’s unit. Lax training. Traitors. Deserters.

Alec didn’t see it at the time, not completely. He now knows just how deeply fucked up he was.

And is.

There’s no fixing it, like there’s no use trying to fix a broken toy.

So Max eventually walks away from him, just like you did. Just like he should have done for Rachel.

He knows he hurt you, but he also thinks it’s working out better this way. Better that you walk away from him, before he gets you hurt even worse.

It happens in stages, the way Alec’s memory unlocks.

It sorts through the psychological methods of torture and erasure Manticore used to try and scrape the Barrister assignment from his mind. Not only did it not work, but Manticore still won. No matter what he does, he can’t block out the pain or the rush of memories. He can’t not feel.

It’s a frustrating state of being for a soldier.

Alec’s laissez faire way of coasting through life after Manticore burned down was his version of stoicism, of surviving.

But if this is living, then he doesn’t want it.

That’s why he loses focus. He runs headlong into the trap his rational mind is warning him of—into that mansion, where Robert Barrister has led him with the torturous siren song of Rachel’s favorite piano sonata. The very same one he taught her, just two years ago.

Alec wants to rip the notes out of his head, but he still goes to the house.

Somehow, a fifty-five-year-old man gets the drop on Alec, a soldier. A transgenic.

Barrister knows who and what he is. He’s been in the game long enough against Manticore to know who he used to sell his products to, but he can’t quite pull the trigger on that gun, even though Alec goads him on. Shouting at him to do it. End his misery.

Rachel.

Max saves his ass again. It’s a frankly embarrassing number she’s racked up on that count, as she stuns Barrister and knocks him out before he can deliver the kill shot directly into Alec’s temporal lobe.

Alec doesn’t care.

He doesn’t care.

He doesn’t care, until Robert tells him where she is, upstairs in her room. Alec travels down the familiar corridor, and he sees her again.

Rachel. Oh God…

She’s wrapped up in wires because of him; in a coma, slowly dying for the past two years. She pulled her father from the car that was meant to explode and end his life. Rachel fell.

Alec sinks down into a chair beside her bed. For a moment all he can do is stare at her pale face.

Because of him. His job. His mission, that he couldn’t complete, because he tried to save her. It was too late, she paid the price, and it was all because of him.

Because he couldn’t fight the training drilled deep into his mind. He couldn’t fight his captors, not hard enough.

She paid the price.

Alec sits at her bedside for as long as he can. He slips her locket back into her cold hand. He holds her as close as he dares, and begs for forgiveness through near-silent tears.

“I didn’t understand,” he whispers brokenly. “I didn’t understand…how much I loved you.”

Alec attends Rachel’s funeral, a few weeks later. He stands almost a quarter of a mile away, but he can still hear the service. He goes to her grave, and he accepts the caustic words from her father.

“Never come back here,” Robert hisses. “I wanted to kill you. I hated you that much. But I’m still her father. I want her to be proud of me…and I don’t want to be like you.”

Alec silently accepts this. He knows what he is. Now, he knows what he’s done is unforgivable.

He also knows it’s time to let her go.

So he says a silent goodbye before he walks away from the grave and the cemetery. He intends to go home…

He doesn’t quite make it there.

Alec is forced to walk through a torrent of rain. He barely feels it beating down on his head, back, and shoulders.

Somehow, he ends up dripping wet at your apartment. His tall frame takes up your doorway when you open it to him.

This feels familiar, you think, as you take him in. Once again, you’re dressed in just your pajamas of choice: a loose shirt over a pair of shorts. Your hair is tossed into a bun.

You aren’t sure if it’s rain or tears dripping down his wet cheeks. His eyes are red enough to convince you of the latter.

“What’re you—”

“I’m sorry,” he says. His voice is a hint unsteady.

Your mouth falls open the slightest bit, but eventually, you sigh.

“Alec,” is all you can say. Go away, are words you can’t force past your lips, even if you have every right to say them.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I uh…I don’t know why I’m here.”

“You don’t know?” you repeat, your eyes widening incredulously.

He shakes his head, but he aims to leave. This was a mistake, he thinks.

You don’t know what to make of him right now. Hasn’t he hurt you enough?

He seems different though. He looks like he’s one step shy of falling apart, and you’ve never seen such rawness in his eyes.

Something inside you breaks, and you grab his wet hand before he can escape down the hall. You’re persistent in leading him inside your apartment, where it’s warm. You offer him some dry clothes he left behind last month.

After he gets changed, he sits on your couch with you. His silence is so confusing, you’re not sure what to do.

“What’s wrong?” you ask.

“Me,” he says, chuckling humorlessly. “I’m what’s wrong. I uh…I should go.”

He gets to his feet, all twitching nervous energy, and again he tries to leave. You feel compelled to stand with him and follow him to the door.

“Wait,” you say, holding the door closed. Your hand lands on his arm, imploring with everything you have. “Alec, just tell me what the hell is going on. You’re scaring me.”

His eyes drag up your body, and slowly meet yours.

I didn’t understand…

Alec can’t help it; he raises a gentle hand to touch your cheek. You don’t deserve someone like him wrecking your life. He can’t be fixed, and he doesn’t want to break you too.

You hold his hand to your face. “Alec. Talk to me, please.”

In your face, he finds concern and the threat of tears, and his heart continues to hemorrhage.

There’s still room for you there. You’ve carved out a place in what’s left of it, without him realizing. He’s getting better at seeing the warning signs.

You let out a shaky breath. “Just tell me the truth. Are you in trouble? Are you here because you have nowhere else to go, or—”

“Honestly, yeah,” he finally admits.

You deflate in response. What the hell?!

Now you’re just about ready to push him out of your apartment and warn him that he better not come back. His grip on your arms stops you.

“This is the only place…” he continues, his jaw working. “Can’t seem to move my feet anywhere else.”

He means what he says, even if it’s not coming out right. After seeing Rachel’s prone body in her bed, coming back to face you is one of the hardest things he’s ever done. And yet, there's nowhere else he could go that felt right. He meets your eyes and notices the way you’re holding your breath.

“Uh, I kinda lied to you before,” he confesses. Your brows raise at that.

“When?” you challenge.

He licks his dry lips. “At the bar. Last time we met.”

“So when you said,” you struggle to articulate it, because just the thought of it still hurts. “What you and I had…that it didn’t mean anything…”

His hands slide down from your arms, to hold your hands in his.

“I was an idiot. I didn’t know what it meant,” Alec says. “I do now.”

Your eyes flood with tears as you let go of a heavy breath. Alec releases your hands to hold your face with shaking hands. In turn, you hold his wrists steady.

"You really hurt me, you know," you say. Your voice is a near whisper, but your words cut into him all the same.

"I know," he replies, as his thumbs caress your skin. "I'm sorry about that. About everything...which is why we probably shouldn't do this."

He really says that, even as his hands drift down to your neck, where he can feel your pulse beating and picking up speed. Alive.

“What?” you ask, with genuine confusion. You pull away from him a little, frowning up at him. "Then what are we doing right now? Either you want to be with me, or you don't, Alec."

His eyes meet yours.

You’re so real, so honest. Alec starts to think, to understand that this is what lured him in. It had him coming back to you every time you turned him down. It kept him coming back to you when you were his.

She can still be yours, he thinks. It’s a selfish thought, but here he is.

So he draws you in and kisses you deeply.

He doesn’t know how this can still feel right, even though his chest pulses with pain. But maybe, being with you is a different kind of pain. Maybe it’s not pain at all.

You asked him for the truth though. He can’t give you everything, but he can give you one piece of the puzzle; perhaps the only one that matters. He parts from you, opening his eyes to find your face. Your eyes are still closed, and when you open them, you start to blush.

It almost makes him smile, but his brain is still warring with his heart.

“I’ve only ever cared about one person in my life…and I lost her,” he says. “I’m not good at this.”

“How,” you ask, a bit hesitantly. “How did you lose her?”

His throat is tight. It’s all so fresh, he doesn’t even know how he gets out the words.

“She died,” he admits.

Your expression falls, and you shake your head.

“I’m sorry,” you reply, holding onto his shirt. “I’ve lost people too.”

He thumbs at your cheek. He sees your sympathy so clearly across your face, though he doesn’t know how you can still give that to him. It goes against everything he’s ever been taught, and everything he’s learned in order to survive.

He can’t help but let you back in, just like you’re about to do for him.

“It’s really this simple. If you want me to forgive you, if you really want to be here, with me, exclusively…then all you have to do is stay,” you say at last. Your lips press together for a moment. “But if you play me again, Alec, I swear to God—”

“No. No swearing’s necessary,” he says, and kisses you again. He’s surprised he’s able to smile, just a little, and he does so against your lips.

You break from him to grip his shirt and glare up at him. “You understand me?”

Alec’s smile deepens a fraction. He brushes your hair away from your face.

“Indeed, I do, Miss Ma’am.”

It takes you a beat, but you roll your eyes, despite a lingering blush.

“Ugh, don’t call me that.”

“Why not?” he starts to tease. “You seem to like giving out orders, I just thought you’d like a title change to go with it.”

You slap his chest half-heartedly. “Shut up.”

“See? More demands,” he quips. “I don’t know if I can work in this environment—”

You pull him down for a kiss to shut him up indefinitely.

And like it so often has, it leads into your room with the two of you falling haphazardly into your bed. He situates himself between your legs and traps you underneath him as he kisses a wet path up your neck. You arch against him and your hands dive under his shirt to help him wrench it off.

It’s all very fast, and a bit frantic until he has you naked underneath him.

His hand finds your cheek, touching softly, like he’s afraid to break you. There’s pain in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. Your brows furrow, though you caress a hand up the back his neck. He shudders when you unintentionally brush his barcode.

“Alec, what happened?” you ask.

He shakes his head. He wishes he could tell you. He wants to tell you…everything. It scares him, because he also wants to run out of here, putting as much distance between himself and you as possible.

But again, he’s selfish. This time, he understands why his heart is pulsing with both pain and longing when he stares into your eyes for too long.

“I can’t,” he says. “Not tonight… Can we just focus on the good part here?”

Despite yourself, you smile with a small huff. You take his face in your hands and bring him down to meet your searing kiss.

The good part, indeed.

AN: And here's an angsty Part 2! lol Let me know what you think! 💜

You might want to buckle up for where we're going next...

Next Time:

He takes one corner of your towel and peels it off you slowly, until your body is bare for his gaze. His eyes take in every inch of you before they make it back to your face.

He smiles, taking down the messy bun from your head to have your hair fanning wildly across his pillows. Your hands move across his chest and further down, but he puts a stop to your exploration. He grasps your wrists and pins them down to the bed with a strength you can’t escape.

You raise your brows. “Alec?”

“Trust me,” he says, dipping down to kiss your neck. “Let me take care of you tonight.”

You suck in a breath. Far be it from you to argue with that.

“Is this one of those sexual favors?” you tease. He laughs against your skin.

“You’re about to find out.”

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#fic rec #alec mcdowell fic #alec mcdowell x reader

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