#i love you minkowski my favorite ever

[cranescurses]

" You wanna go up to the red line? Let's go. "

-

my fav minkowski quote ever i love you come back to me you where rhe greatest ever

[commsroom]

Happy countdown to Dougmas!!

You know what, I’m curious, what do you think this man’s car is like? Like the maintenance, trash everywhere, stickers galore?

I know Lovelace and Minkowski are getting visceral reactions to that thing.

oh, it's disgusting. it's uninhabitable. eiffel desperately wants a cool car, but he's got the most affordable, 'dependable' used car he could find. canonically used to drive a corolla. it came pre-dented and with one door that's a different color. constantly sounds like it's on the verge of dying. looks like it's being held together by stickers alone. bobbleheads on the dash. he uses the backseat as storage for god knows what. absolutely full of garbage inside; you have to shove it aside to make space. smells like stale cigarette smoke and old fast food wrappers in there. the seats have mystery stains and are weirdly sticky from all the stuff he's spilled on them. check engine light permanently on. eiffel knows enough about cars to do his own maintenance, but that works against him: because he can do it, he won't pay someone else to do it, but he doesn't want to do it, so he puts it off until something breaks. the only things he keeps in good shape are the radio and his stack of CDs.

[specialagentartemis]

First Impressions: Doug Eiffel

for this ask game

First impression

Oh my god I can’t stand this fuckin guy. He is SO annoying. Minkowski is a far better woman than I am because if he treated ME like that I would have just left him to drown in space. Little bit disappointed that she didn’t.

Impression now

Favorite podcast protag Basically Ever. I love him and I want him to be happy and he’ not but I want him to be!!! The heart of the team, the social glue who holds everyone together. Character development leaves me in awe. He went through Some Shit and the way he is makes a lot of sense, in retrospect, but also, him getting hit over the head with You Need To Try To Do Better and him truly trying to do better was so well done and I am So impressed.

Favorite moment

Choosing one is hard but I looove “Mayday” when we see Eiffel cast off in space and he shows how clever he actually is to survive!

(Also: “GODDAMN IT RENÉE DON’T DO THIS”)

Idea for a story

It’s extremely spoilery postcanon stuff but I would love to write him developing a friendship with [REDACTED] that absolutely no one else is happy with. The Tension. They get each other now in a way no one else does.

Also SOMEDAY I will finish the Box 953 story where Eiffel comes in clutch to save the day by completely misunderstanding the assignment. A Hero

Unpopular opinion

Eiffel’s relationship with Hera is an extension of the theme of parenthood—the parallels between Eiffel’s relationship with his daughter Anne and Pryce’s relationship Hera are extremely strong in “Limbo” and “Memoria.” The parent who feels a sense of ownership over their child, and in the process gives them a traumatic brain injury because they can’t let go of that sense of control. Eiffel’s relationship with Hera is affirming and healing for both of them—Eiffel can’t undo what he did to Anne, but he can do better this time by treating Hera like a whole person and an equal who gets to have her own choices and have her opinions heard; and Hera getting to have a relationship with someone who has that respect for her. They've mutually adopted each other, but there are times—especially in “Bolero” at the funeral—where Eiffel is taking that parental role and trying to do it better than he previously did, or she previously got.

The father-daughter aspects of Eiffel and Hera’s relationship are pretty thematically relevant to both of their character arcs. And it doesn’t have to be infantilizing or childish because uh adults have parents too, and the relationship between Cutter and Pryce is a third parallel there for a man and his adult daughter when he can’t let go of that feeling of control over her either.

Favorite relationship

Minkowski and Eiffel’s incredibly slowburn friendship to becoming so incredibly important to each other… it’s everything to me

Favorite headcanon

This man is aromantic and I have textual support of this. He has never heard this word before in his life tho.

Also this man went to Catholic school and that strongly informs very much of his general demeanor regarding authority.

[emp-t-man]

episode 2 time yippeeee :3

i dunno if it was on purpose or if it was just an error on makayla’s part but hera pronouncing minkowski incorrectly is so silly to me. it’s the only time she does that in the whole podcast and it could be seen as her emulating eiffel because they’ve started to get along and then minkowski tearing into her for it so it doesn’t happen again or it could just be a mistake but. it’s silly.

eiffel is so incredibly monotone in these early episodes compared to the amount of personality his voice is known to have, ESPECIALLY during his announcement to the rest of the station. obviously a lot of it is just zach growing into the character and the voice but i also like to think that losing that monotonality is symbolic of him growing out of his more,,, nihilistic? i wanna say? approach to the whole situation as time goes on

i’d let minkowski throw me in the brig. the way she talks in this episode? i’m. god i love angry women

tiny detail but i love his delivery on “can you explain to these LOSERS—” he’s so unserious i love him

i NEED to know what was going through gabriel’s head when he made minkowski call him doug. i’ll probably have a definitive answer on this further into the relisten but i can’t tell if it’s her just being casual and trying to appeal to him as,, almost a friend? or if it’s a bitter thing, like how she refused to call lovelace “sir” until she had earned it. i’ll definitely have more to say on that later, but for now. hm

i would also like to know how many eiffel protocols there were, and for what scenarios minkowski could have possibly come up with him doing in order to make them—

I. HATE. THE LITTLE RADIO STATIC SOUND EFFECT THEY USE AS A TRANSITION IN THESE EARLY EPISODES. ITS LOUD, ITS UNNECESSARY, AND IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME I THANK GOD EVERY DAY THEY DID AWAY WITH IT

something something “could there be pain” something something masochism something something homosexual

SPEAKING OF PAIN. HILBERT SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT VAPORIZED BROMINE??? DO YALL KNOW HOW FUCKING PAINFUL IT IS WHEN BROMINE MAKES CONTACT WITH SKIN??? A LITTLE BIT OF PAIN MY ASS THAT SHIT CAN CAUSE PERMANENT SKIN LOSS

also?? i never realized that the fucking. klaxon thing that blares??? was specifically to prevent him from sleeping. that wasn’t a warning because the room was so cold, it was a method of sleep deprivation, that’s fucked up my god fhdbdb

another one of my favorite deliveries is “i THOUGHT i smelled MOLASSES. but then i DIDN’T get knocked out, so i dunno what THAT was about 😀”

i will never, EVER get over “when in doubt, whip it out” that’s the funniest thing gabriel has ever done /j

also there’s something about the way that eiffel pronounces minkowski’s name wrong when talking to or about her, but still has enough respect to call her “commander” half the time. it’s kind of a proof that he isn’t doing it maliciously, it’s simply a bit of banter that he thought was a joke between the two. but that also makes it more heartbreaking because he genuinely just. doesn’t realize the harm he’s doing. and refuses to listen every time she tries to bring it up.

the way that eiffel is so concerned over brushing his teeth this whole time when this motherfucker won’t even shower. like. your priorities are all over the place babygirl

BUT, speaking of that. i definitely don’t think it’s just about brushing his teeth. i’ve seen a lot of things about like. how ridiculous it is that he would go through all of that just for toothpaste? but listen. nothing in eiffel’s life up until this point had been something he’d had a choice in, at least not since the accident. even going on this MISSION wasn’t really a choice, when you consider the alternative was twenty-something years in prison as opposed to only a couple in space. being in charge of this situation, as dumb as it may sound, was the only thing left for him to BE in charge of. he finally had a SAY in something, and he was willing to go without sleep for over twenty four hours, live in minus forty degrees, starve for hours on end, and be entirely isolated just to make sure he could keep it that way, if just for a few more hours. and that’s devastating to me

this one is long as HELL but every time i listen to this thing i find more stuff i can connect in terms of later plot points and it’s so maddening that gabriel admitted to having no idea where he wanted to go at this point because he ended up tying it together SO WELL.

[nobodysdaydreams]

@mahpotatoequeen thank you for tagging me!

How many works do you have on AO3? only 11, but I make up for it in word count.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 468,908 words (sorry)

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they? Only three fandoms. TMBS (show and books, idk if these count as separate) and wolf 359.

Top five fics by kudos:

So...I'm in some pretty small fandoms and only started writing last year so I don't have a lot of high kudos fics. But this is what I got so far:

S.O.S

The Oldest Siblings

Who You Were Meant To Be / Treat Them With(out) Mercy (tied)

It Should Have Been Us

A Joy To Obey

Honorable mention: The highest Wolf 359 fic I have since I only started writing for that fandom like a week ago (it's a nice fic about Renee and Dominik for anyone interested): For Better or For Worse

Do you respond to comments?

Of course! I love hearing from you guys and discuss my work, fandom theories and ideas.

What’s the fic with the angstiest ending you’ve ever written?

My tmbs followers know the answer to that question. Sorry S.O.S. fans (but also: not sorry at all).

Edit: Also, how did I forget, but my tmbs fic The Boys Who Waited, has a super angsty ending. It's one of my lesser known fics, but I do really like how it comes full circle in the end and you don't realize the implications of what's happening until the fic is over.

As for my Wolf 359 fics, I'd say the one with the angstiest ending is my most recent fic about Jacobi dealing with the loss of Kepler. The fic received positive critical review from the esteemed @sophieswundergarten, but the last chapter does end on a slightly ominous note/cliff hanger. Here it is if you want to check it out: The Legacy of the Artist Formerly Known As Warren Kepler (or An Ode to Whiskey Boy)

Do you write crossovers?

Not really. Some of my fics blend the show and book elements of tmbs, or reference the other, but not to the point of what I'd call a "cross over"

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

Not on my fics. I think a few times on my blog, but I don't have time to think about or deal with that. I'm also neurodivergent, so sometimes I have trouble knowing whether people are actually insulting me or doing or saying something "as part of a joke". I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Do you write smut?

Nope, it's not for me.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not, and I don't think so. I write for really small fandoms. It would be pretty obvious if someone did.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but @sophieswundergarten recently made a podfic of the first chapter of my fic Who You Were Meant To Be and that made my whole day! 🥰 The link to the podfic is in the chapter notes if you want to listen.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don't do a lot of shipping. I wrote a few things about Renee Minkowski/Dominik Koudelka, but they're married in canon so a lot of that wrote itself. (Works are here if you're interested: For Better or For Worse / The Return of the Blessed)

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

All of my SOS sequels. I'm going to try though. We'll see what happens.

What are your writing strengths?

Long fic. I can take an idea and run with it. I'm also good a picking up where I series left things off or when a show gets cancelled and leaves a cliff hanger.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Short fic. I wrote around 7k-8k words for a Wolf 359 fic and someone commented how happy they were that they "finally got a long fic about this". And I was flattered, but like. 7-8k words???? LONG????

...who's gonna tell them?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I've only done this a few times. I try my best and do as much research as I can. I want it to be accurate though, so if you're a native speaker, and I got something wrong, feel free to (politely) lmk so I can fix it.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

For the tmbs fandom S.O.S. since it's what I'm known for, but also Who You Were Meant To Be because I love a good redemption story and I've gonna a lot of really nice feedback on it.

For the Wolf359 fandom, weirdly enough, The Return of the Blessed, which is based on my own unhinged crack theory, but I love writing it.

Tagging: @itsgoghtime @oflightningandstars @myfairkatiecat @mysteriouseggsbenedict @heyitsthatonesmolgay and anyone else who wants to participate!

[ari194]

First of all, just major spoiler warnings for the wolf 359 finale. Second of all this is gonna be a long post of just all the thoughts while I listen to the finale.

God I love the beginning with Cutter and Pryce like just that whole story time back and forth is so so good

Adding Hera and Eiffel's first meeting also hurts so good I can't. Just the little smile you can hear in Eiffel's chuckle and voice after Hera's "good boy" and the immediate establishment of them being partners in crime from the get go, just not even five minutes of knowing each other and they were already breaking rules together, words cannot describe how much I adore them

"These people have taken our lives away from us" line is so good, Renee Minkowski is t h e leader and I love her with my whole heart. She could rally me to do anything

"your dad loves you, your dad loves you so much" those are his last words to his daughter while he remembers her. fuck fuck f u c k. Christ this shit hurts. I love this podcast so much

Eiffel and Minkowski getting to laugh together one last time before everything goes down is so so good

"Goddammit Renee don't do this" and my heart b r e a k s

The fucking score in this episode is so so excellent the dramatic piano and just the everything about the pacing of the music is executed masterfully Alan Rhodey is a god

Dougie no, stop no self deprecating in this household. Also holy fuck just got hit with the "I can't do this" from Eiffel holy im being devastated with every second that goes by, we love parallels in this household

"you're just going to have to trust me"

"with my life darling, with my life" I love them so much eiffera has my entire heart forever 😭

Eiffera again hitting me with the "I can do this" "Of course you can darling" just her being able to confidently state her abilites and Eiffel not questioning her for a second, complete faith in Hera and always supporting her without hesitation.

God I love Kepler God I love him so much his reveal is everything his last lines are everything his last act is everything I can't I can't I can't.

"The beautiful thing is, I don't need you to be" is just such a fucking good line I will never ever ever get over it.

Also, harpoon?!

It's the fact that all I had to hear was the sound of the mind sweep and I started to completely come apart. I'll always love and hate that they didn't let Doug say his last words to Hera.

Wolf 359 will always always always be my absolute favorite piece of media to exist ever. Nothing will ever top it and I will never be able to love something as deep as I love Wolf 359. Just the fact that they saved the world they saved all of humanity and they would have all died with no one ever knowing a thing if it wasn't for Jacobi, Wolf 359 could have so easily ended as a tragedy and still been a good and wonderful piece of media but it's the fact that they got their somewhat bitter mostly sweet happy ending that sets it apart. It's the question of what makes the self, what makes a person themselves, it's that even while bawling your eyes out there will still be lines that make you laugh through it, it's every heartbreak throughout the show and the finale finally having the payoff of getting to hear them be safe and go home. They're battered, wounded, and bruised but they're alive and they are all going to start again. It's the last scene being our original 3 voice actors and the fact that when Doug goes "spending time with you two was the best damn thing to ever happen to him" there was never any doubt that he was talking about Minkowski and Hera.

I will never be over Wolf 359, and I will always be grateful I stumbled upon it and had the chance to fall in love with it. Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk I'm gonna go sob some more for a few hours.

[the-mighty-glow-cloud]

😌- comfort podcast

👻- a podcast that scares you

comfort podcast: two way tie between wolf 359 and wrong station! i have only listened to w359 one time but i am CONSTANTLY thinking about it and it is so so good. i love you doug eiffel i love you daniel jacobi i love you renee minkowski. on the other hand i have been a religious listener of wrong station for like four years and it has some of my favorite horror podcast episodes of all time (everyone please listen to episodes 10 and 61, they are so so very good. also listen to episodes 92-94: the hunting of the lathe worm). the choice is impossible

podcast that scares me: oooooo it's another tie i'm afraid. this time between the white vault and the silt verses. the white vault gets me with the sheer unknowability of its horror; there's some explanation in the last season but the core of it remains along the lines of "we know this horrific incomprehensible thing exists and we can't fix it, only make it marginally less bad" and i am HERE for that. inevitable and unrelenting forces of nature my beloveds. and then the silt verses is just. so phenomenal in so many ways. there is so much i could say about it but i think the best example of the way it scares me is the scene in ep 27 when paige and hayward drive through the carnage of their god's birth. that is one of the only podcast scenes that has ever dropped my jaw and made me physically stop in my tracks (closely followed by the watcher in the wings episode and the cave echo angel episode). the horror in the silt verses is so visceral and it does an incredible job of making such a fantastical setting feel so real. i can not WAIT for more (i also stole the entire "there can be a god for anything as long as enough people believe hard enough and make a good enough sacrifice" for my homebrew d&d setting and for that i am eternally grateful)

[clonerightsagenda]

ghostsquidsandspacebees

HNY to the duo unfailingly responsible for me seeing the same post on my dash twice in a row on the regular! @ Both of you, thoughts on Minlace, platonic or romantic? (If thoughts are any other than "hate it," maybe an interaction you wish they had in canon or a favorite fanwork trope?)

Sorry for trapping you in an echo chamber of podcast posts. It will happen again.

I have two funny stories about Minlace. The first is that I am responsible for Gill shipping it even though I myself am neutral about it because I rarely have strong feelings about ships unless they’re such a trainwreck I love watching it (Jane and Sophie, wishing you the best, kiddos). Minkowski is the crewmember Lovelace has the least fraught relationship which makes it a perfectly reasonable ship opportunity but means I have fewer cracks to dig my teeth into.

The second funny story is one time I was thinking actually no there is something I want to dig my teeth into there, they must have so much to talk about over [detail] and then remembered that detail was something I made up. Back when I was writing Door Number Three I sat down and came up with a detailed backstory for Lovelace in that fic (I rarely do this unless it comes up, but it came up). I imagined her as having a Black dad whose family had come to New York during the Great Migration and an Afro-Puerto Rican mom who ended up staying on the mainland after her time in the Marines. Lovelace’s dad is a federal judge and presumably was a lawyer before that, so she probably had some level of economic privilege growing up, but that doesn’t change the fact that she would have been one of the few Black women in her West Point class. I also figured her dad doesn’t speak Spanish so she’d be constantly be code switching between multiple languages, cultures, and venues. And this is something she and Minkowski have in common - immigrant* background, not being seen as an ‘American’ American, having to fight harder to be taken as seriously as WASP men in the military... so I was getting really excited about ‘man why didn’t they get into this in canon’ and then went. Ah. Yes. Because I invented it. This is why you have to re-experience source material every once in a while to renew your license.

*Puerto Ricans are American citizens but often aren’t viewed that way.

All that aside if I ever did write a thing focusing on the two of them I would be bringing this half made up backstory to bear. Tragically their blossoming connection is destroyed by the fact that Minkowski speaks French.

[vonkarma2]

for the character thing: 1. Who I adore with everything, they are my favorite and forever will be! / 8. They're a favorite because my mutuals and the people I follow like them. / 13. Wish they had more hype. / 27. I would love to observe this character under a microscope.

Difficult question like one singular favorite out of every character from everything I’ve ever seen… I was going to be like omg IDK if I can answer this one guys 😔✌️but I can answer it easily it’s Minkowski from Wolf 359 I love her sm 💕💕💕 There are other characters I like a lot but I think she’s my favorite her personality + motivations are so endearing to me. This is excluding OCs because if I included them as candidates we’d be here all day

I genuinely like Micolash from bloodborne now just from seeing posts abt him occasionally I don’t know anything about bloodborne but whenever a video essayist mentions him (usually just to complain abt how his fight sucks lol) I’m like Micolash… my boy. Why is he called that why does he have a dumbass cage on his head. I mean I know why lore wise. Also Lady Maria from Bloodborne, Arashi from Enstars, Rui from ODDTAXI. I always liked Eiffel wolf 359 (like he was always my second favorite character lol) but I think people posting abt him has made me appreciate him more. Think abt him in more depth yk 

Can I say like every original character for this. Of course they don’t have hype it’s because they’re not in anything that actually exists. But idk they’re really fun to talk about so it would be nice to have them be more widely known ❤️ so people would know what the hell I’m talking about lmao. Also Carmen Farooq-Lane from TDT I think is really underrated she’s so funny + I think very sympathetic

I know this isn’t exactly the question but I think it’s in the spirit of what it’s asking basically my favorite characters to psychoanalyze are my OCs Cirillo and Angel and kind of Rocio as well actually. I used to think she was like relatively straightforward but I think she’s become a bit more complicated recently or like I’m trying to focus more on the nuances I guess. Like with regards to their motivation and their relationships with other characters. Also unfortunately Crow + Lennox + Baize from @werewolfstory, I like the other characters as well and think they’re interesting but they are the only ones I’ve actually written meta abt so far. I would say Kaleela as well but studying under a microscope feels mean to say about her. In terms of like characters from things ummm idk the main characters of the scarlet letter + macbeth were fun to discuss in English class. That doesn’t count. Going back to the original question of who I would study under a microscope and interpreting it as like who is a weird freak where you want to know what’s going on with them. Kabru Dungeon Meshi. Probably some others but I can’t think of them right now. Henry from TRC

[loverboybrightsideghost]

jacobi and kaz? (btw im starting the book bcs of you lmao)

MY BESTEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD

jacobi

kaz

no bingo for either of them :p

[queencatroyal]

My absolute favorite thing about Wolf 359 is that there are NO canon romantic relationships between the main characters, at all. I mean, some of the characters have lovers outside of the main crew, like Minkowski’s husband, but none in the main crew on the actual Hephaestus. Even later, when additional characters are introduced, no canon ships. Instead, it has a ton of some of the closest friendships I've ever seen.

I’m aroace, so it’s really nice to see a show that doesn’t have any romantic relationships in the main crew, but that still has a compelling and interesting plot (since often we are led to believe that stories without romance are boring). It’s also nice to see such close friendships portrayed, especially between men and women since it’s often a societal expectation that men and women who are nice to each other must be having sex. 

That isn’t to say I’m against shipping, I personally don’t really ship any of the characters, but I can see how you would. I just love to see stories like this, without any emphasis on ships whatsoever, it’s certainly not unique, but it is pretty rare.

[commsroom]

i love to think about the ways eiffel is willing/able to take up physical space for hera when she can’t. i think... with eiffel and hera and minkowski staying together post-canon, one thing that might start to really bother hera is that, like. she doesn’t have any stuff. she doesn’t even have herself to be there in the house, really, not physically. and unlike with the hephaestus, a house that is actually meant to be a home, a place that is designed for human life, is always full of reminders of the people who live there. so i want to think that she expresses this to eiffel and he starts picking up stuff he thinks she’ll like just to put it on the shelves and around the house, so it’s her house too. and she thinks it’s kind of silly at first because it’s not like she can really interact with most of it, but. then she sees all of her stuff mixed together with eiffel’s on the shelves and it’s like this constant reminder that she exists in the world, that she has an impact on it and a place in it. and that does make her feel a little better.

[gorseflowers]

Favorite Characters Tag Game

Rules: List your favorite character from 10 different fandoms and then tag 10 people.

Tagged by: @section-69 thank you for this chance to ramble

random order also ive just got done ranting with my flatmate abt prophecy narratives so this is gonna be intense im riled up

faith lehane from btvs, my bestest worstest woman forever and always, i absolutely could not fix her i love her so so much

worf from star trek. gonna see him again in picard s3 and my brain is On Fire about it. he’s been written so inconsistently to put it politely over the years if they fuck this up i will wreak violence, telling the 6′4 klingon warrior to get behind me babygirl i’ll defend your character from defamation

captain isabel lovelace from wolf 359. on all levels except physical i am wrapping her in my arms. i think about desperate measures and i go fucking insane. if you call her the “villain” of s2 you and i have a fucking problem. shoutout to hilbert minkowski and eiffel whom i am chewing the doorframe over also

abed nadir from community. choosing just one of the study group was a very gun to the head deal but i will tell you at length why abed is one of the best characters ever written for television so i feel like it has to be him. 

James Flint. very similar situation of how do i just choose one when half the characters of black sails live rent free in my heart and head but uhh yeah james flint realigned my worldview and my sense of self

nandor the relentless from what we do in the shadows. i am going to mug him i am going to steal his cloaks and i am going to wear them every day for the rest of my life. i love other things about him very deeply but its so important you know that every day im thinking about those cloaks.

geralt from the witcher. i feel like him and ciri were specifically tailored for me at this exact time of my life to wreck me in every way. he committed so hard to being a loving caring father for her nobody fucking look at me.

abigail kamara from rivers of london. i wrote a fucking character study thesis fic for her based off a bonus short story in the back end of lies sleeping and THEN ben aaronovitch came out with her whole novella and did i miss? did get a single character beat wrong when i extrapolated from next to nothing? no i did not. that was my magnum opus. 

thor from m*rv*l. i just think he’s neat

hellboy, although ive not read the comics i just watch the gdt films when i was younger and latched onto him which reminds me im always saying ill draw him and then i never draw him

Tagging: @flintcoded, @blacksailsgf, @runestele and anyone else who wants to do it!

[maandarinee]

what are all the podcasts you listen to?

anon I'm so glad you asked

Since it is a pretty long list including synopses (stolen from the podcast feed or website because I'm Bad at summaries and in some cases it's been a while since I listened) I'm going to put it under a cut.

I've separated the list into "Complete" (either finished or cancelled) and "Ongoing" podcasts. Some have additional comments by me. Current favorites are marked orange. My eternal beloved are Our Fair City and Wolf 359.

Complete

ars PARADOXICA: "When an experiment in a time much like our own goes horribly awry, Dr. Sally Grissom finds herself stranded in the past and entrenched in the activities of a clandestine branch of the US government. Grissom and her team quickly learn that there's no safety net when toying with the fundamental logic of the universe."

Blackwood: "Five years ago, Molly Weaver, Bryan Anderson, and Nathan Howell started a podcast focused on the local legend of a monster called The Blackwood Bugman. Quickly, the investigation grew out of their control, as they discovered that, not only are the legends seemingly true, many people in Blackwood have turned up dead or disappeared without a trace." --> [this feels like the Blair With Project, but as a podcast. Didn't get a second season due to no funding, but it works as a standalone]

Dreamboy: "Dane, a spun-out musician spending the winter in Cleveland, Ohio, has two main goals: keeping his job at the Pepper Heights Zoo and trying not to waste all his time on Grindr. What he doesn’t expect is to get swept into a story about dreams, about forevers, about flickering lights, about unexplained deaths, about relentless change, and about the parts of ourselves that we wish other people knew to look for. Oh, and also a murderous zebra." --> [very NSFW; does cool things with music! Didn't get a second season due to no funding, but it works as a standalone]

King Fall AM: "...centers on a lonely little mountain town's late-night AM talk radio show and its paranormal, peculiar happenings and inhabitants." --> [cancelled after 100 episodes, ends on a huge cliffhanger]

Our Fair City: "A campy, post-apocalyptic audio drama." --> [I know the description sounds like nothing but just trust me, I love it so much]

Steal the Stars: "...is a gripping noir science fiction thriller in 14 episodes: Forbidden love, a crashed UFO, an alien body, and an impossible heist unlike any ever attempted."

Stellar Firma: "...a weekly Science Fiction, Comedy podcast following the misadventures of Stellar Firma Ltd.'s highest born but lowest achieving planetary designer Trexel Geistman and his bewildered clone assistant David 7. Join them each episode as they attempt to take listener submissions and craft them into the galaxy's most luxurious, most expensive and most questionably designed bespoke planets. However, with Trexel's corporate shark of a line manager Hartro Piltz breathing down their necks and I.M.O.G.E.N., the station's omnipresent and omniinvasive stationwide A.I. monitoring those necks to within 3 decimal places, they'll be lucky to make it a week before being slurried and recycled into raw human resources." --> [semi-improvised, I thought I'd have a problem with the improv bit because that's not usually my thing, but no, I absolutely devoured this]

TANIS: "...is a serialized docudrama about a fascinating and surprising mystery: the myth of Tanis. Tanis is an exploration of the nature of truth, conspiracy, and information. Tanis is what happens when the lines of science and fiction start to blur." [+ spinoff The Last Movie] --> [I have no clue what the hell is going on here]

The Black Tapes: "...is a serialized docudrama about one journalist's searc for truth, her enigmatic subject's mysterious past, and the literal and figurative ghosts that haunt them both."

The Magnus Archives: "...is a weekly horror fiction anthology podcast examining what lurks in the archives of the Magnus Institute, an organisation dedicated to researching the esoteric and the weird. Join new head archivist Jonathan Sims as he attempts to bring a seemingly neglected collection of supernatural statements up to date, converting them to audio and supplementing them with follow-up work from his small but dedicated team. Individually, they are unsettling. Together they begin to form a picture that is truly horrifying because as they look into the depths of the archives, something starts to look back…"

Time:Bombs: "...a new audio drama podcast about the hilarious world of bomb disposal. Ride along with EOD technician Simon Teller on the busiest night of the year for him and his team - when business is, quite literally, booming."

Wolf 359: "Life's not easy for Doug Eiffel, the communications officer for the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station, currently on Day 448 of its orbit around red dwarf star Wolf 359. He's stuck on a scientific survey mission of indeterminate length, 7.8 light years from Earth. His only company on board the station are stern mission chief Minkowski, insane science officer Hilbert, and Hephaestus Station's sentient, often malfunctioning operating system Hera. He doesn't have much to do for his job other than monitoring static and intercepting the occasional decades-old radio broadcast from Earth, so he spends most of his time creating extensive audio logs about the ordinary, day-to-day happenings within the station. But the Hephaestus is an odd place, and life in extremely isolated, zero gravity conditions has a way of doing funny things to people's minds. Even the simplest of tasks can turn into a gargantuan struggle, and the most ordinary-seeming things have a way of turning into anything but that." --> [starts funny, turns very intense]

Ongoing

Alba Salix, Roya Physician (+ The Axe & Crown): "A witch, her apprentice, and her fairy herbalist treat the ills of a fairy-tale kingdom." + "Gubbin the troll tavernkeeper deals with his clueless new landlord, his shady niece, and some new competition."

Archive 81: "A found footage horror podcast about ritual, stories, and sound."

Arden: "A (fictional) true crime podcast about cold cases and the reporter and detective who try to solve them."

Brimstone Valley Mall: "The year is 1999. Lurking somewhere between Hot Topic and the food court, five misfit demons from Hell kill time inciting sin in a suburban shopping mall. When the lead singer of their band goes mysteriously missing, the demons only have two weeks to find him before they play the biggest gig of the millennium - or face the wrath of Satan herself."

CARAVAN: "First rule of Wound Canyon: No one who gets in, ever gets out. So when a brilliant, ghostly specter flies through the sky amid the rain and lightning, Samir stumbles off a steep cliff and into a hidden world, one in which demons, vampires, and all other manner of paranormal creatures take sanctuary." --> [also pretty NSFW and horny in general]

Death by Dying: "The Obituary Writer of Crestfall, Idaho finds himself deeply in over his head as he investigates a series of strange and mysterious deaths… when he is supposed to simply be writing obituaries. Along the way he encounters murderous farmers, man-eating cats, haunted bicycles, and a healthy dose of ominous shadows." --> [I had to stop listening to this in public because it kept making me undignified laugh and snort noises]

Desperado: "Blood magic, Voodoo magic, old gods, new gods: We've got it all! Follow the story of misfits from all over the world, as they try to survive and protect their heritage from modern-day crusaders."

EOS 10: "Doctors in space, a deposed alien prince, a super gay space pirate and a fiery nurse who'll help you win your bar fight."

Girl In Space: "Abandoned on a dying ship in the farthest reaches of known space, a young scientist fights for survival (and patience with the on-board A.I.). Who is she? No one knows. But a lot of dangerous entities really want to find out. Listen as the story unfolds for science, guns, trust, anti-matter, truth, beauty, inner turmoil, and delicious cheeses. It’s all here. In space."

Janus Descending: "...follows the arrival of two xenoarcheologists on a small world orbiting a binary star. But what starts off as an expedition to survey the planet and the remains of a lost alien civilization, turns into a monstrous game of cat and mouse, as the two scientists are left to face the creatures that killed the planet in the first place. Told from two alternating perspectives, Janus Descending is an experience of crossing timelines, as one character describes the nightmare from end to beginning, and the other, from beginning to the end." --> [absolutely harrowing horror]

Love and Luck: "...is a fictional radio play podcast, told via voicemails and set in present day Melbourne, Australia. A slice of life queer romance story with a touch of magic, it follows the relationship between two men, Jason and Kane, as their love grows both for each other and their community." --> [soft and gay, feels like a warm hug]

Potterless: "Join Mike Schubert, a grown man reading the Harry Potter series for the first time, as he sits down with HP fanatics to poke fun at plot holes, make painfully incorrect predictions, and bask in the sassiness of the characters." --> [the only non-fiction podcast on the list]

Primordial Deep: "When a long extinct sea creature washes up on the shores of Coney Island, marine biologist Dr. Marella Morgan is contacted by a secret organization to investigate the origins of the creature’s sudden and unnatural resurgence. Soon, she and a team of experts find themselves living on the research station The Tiamat, traveling along the abyssal plains as they search for answers far below the waves. But there are dangers in these ancient waters. Reawakened, prehistoric monsters are rising from the deep -- jaws wide and waiting, and in the darkness, something is stirring."

Red Valley: "No one at Overhead Industries wants to talk about defunct research station Red Valley, and account man Warren Godby is out of his depth. When he meets Gordon Porlock, a disgruntled archivist with a bag of tapes from the station’s last known occupant, they will begin a journey to the limits of experimental science, confront horror and trauma from the past, present and future, and try to remember the cheat codes from Sonic the Hedgehog 2."

Rusty Quill Gaming: "An actual play podcast following a mixed ability group of comedians, improvisers, gamers, and writers as they play through the extended, tabletop roleplaying campaign Erasing the Line, an original game world of the GM’s crafting." --> [took me a while to get into because I have trouble focusing on non-scripted things, but eventually I got really hooked on the plot and attached to the characters. This podcast is really fucked up at times if you think about it]

SAYER: "A narrative fiction podcast set on Earth’s man-made second moon, Typhon. The eponymous SAYER is a highly advanced, self-aware AI created to help acclimate new residents to their new lives, and their new employment with Ærolith Dynamics." --> [feels like Welcome to Night Vale but narrated by GLaDOS from Portal]

StarTripper!!: "Join Feston Pyxis on a road-trip through the cosmos, as he leaves behind his old life in search of the best and wildest experiences the galaxy has to offer!"

The Amelia Project: "...is a secret agency that fakes its clients' deaths, then lets them reappear with a brand new identity! A black comedy full of secrets, twists... and cocoa."

The Big Loop: "...a biweekly anthology series. Each episode is a self-contained narrative exploring the strange, the wonderful, the terrifying, and the heartbreaking. Stories of finite beings in an infinite universe." --> [I don't like anthologies, except this one]

The Bright Sessions: "Dr. Bright provides therapy for the strange and unusual; their sessions have been recorded for research purposes." --> [think X-Men, but with therapy instead of a school]

The Deca Tapes: "Recordings have surfaced of ten people that are locked into the same space together. We don’t know where they are, or if they'll get out. But the answers must be somewhere on these tapes."

The Silt Verses: "Carpenter and Faulkner, two worshippers of an outlawed god, travel up the length of their deity’s great black river, searching for holy revelations. As their pilgrimage lengthens and the river’s mysteries deepen, the two acolytes find themselves under threat from a police manhunt, but also come into conflict with the weirder gods that have flourished in these forgotten rural territories."

The White Vault: "Follow the collected records of a repair team sent to Outpost Fristed in the vast white wastes of Svalbard and unravel what lies waiting in the ice below."

Tides: "...is the story of Dr. Winifred Eurus, a xenobiologist trapped on an unfamiliar planet with hostile tidal forces. She must use her wits, sarcasm and intellectual curiosity to survive long enough to be rescued. But there might be more to life on this planet than she expected." --> [think The Martian, but on a water planet]

Unwell, a Midwestern Gothic Mystery: "Lillian Harper moves to the small town of Mt. Absalom, Ohio, to care for her estranged mother Dorothy after an injury. Living in the town's boarding house which has been run by her family for generations, she discovers conspiracies, ghosts, and a new family in the house's strange assortment of residents."

VAST Horizon: "Nolira is an agronomist tasked with establishing agriculture in a new solar system, but when she wakes up on a now- empty colony ship, the whole of her plan disappears. The ship has been set adrift, with numerous mission-critical problems requiring immediate attendance outside of her area of expertise. Nolira is aided by the ship’s malfunctioning AI, which acts as her confidant and companion during the fight for survival."

Victoriocity: "Even Greater London, 1887. In this vast metropolis, Inspector Archibald Fleet and journalist Clara Entwhistle investigate a murder, only to find themselves at the centre of a conspiracy of impossible proportions."

We Fix Space Junk: "...follows seasoned smuggler Kilner and reluctant fugitive Samantha as they travel the galaxy, dodging bullets and meeting strange and wonderful beings as they carry out odd jobs on the fringes of the law."

Welcome to Night Vale: "Twice-monthly community updates for the small desert town of Night Vale, where every conspiracy theory is true. Turn on your radio and hide."

Within the Wires: "Stories told through found audio from an alternate universe."

Wooden Overcoats: "Rudyard Funn and his equally miserable sister Antigone run their family's failing funeral parlour, where they get the body in the coffin in the ground on time. But one day they find everyone enjoying themselves at the funerals of a new competitor - the impossibly perfect Eric Chapman! With their dogsbody Georgie, and a mouse called Madeleine, the Funns are taking drastic steps to stay in the business…" --> [one of THE funniest podcasts I have ever listened to]

[lycanthrology]

Wolf 359?

I need to do a relisten desperately. I didn’t listen to any audio drama at all in 2021 what!! <- I started Greater Boston and Mabel last year I’m lying

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Eiffel!! Yes he’s the main character but I love him so much he’s probably my favourite podcast character ever ever (joint with juno steel) he’s so funny and relatable and funny and tragic and also a massive dickhead sometimes and I really like him ok. If Eiffel had a podcast of his own where he talked about his favourite media at length I would listen to every single episode and send in anonymous fan mail. HOWEVER if we ever met irl I’d be SO annoyed by him and the feeling would be mutual. what if i told you he helped me figure out i was trans can you imagine how cringey that would be thank god thats not true omg..

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

Hmmmm this question is really hard for me because I don’t really think this way. If I had to choose potentially Hera? She annoyed me at the beginning but now I really really like her. Especially after Memoria that’s when it clicked and we were like yes I do like her a lot more than originally thought. Also her and eiffel are so sweet, again i didnt used to like them but ive been enlightened since

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

Plant monster. No. I don’t really know who’s underrated or not. I want to say Lovelace but I don’t think she’s underrated. I’m just going to say Lovelace anyway because she’s incredible and I love her a lot. Her and Minkowski should’ve kissed at least once wake up

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Mace Fisher rip to the most realistic fake Australian accent I’ve ever heard in my life. Also I forgot his name but the British guy in the finale I’m 99% sure he had a Pompey accent (I can’t remember) and it threw me because I’d never heard a Pompey accent in anything ever before

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

All of SI-5. They’re great I love them so much. I mean I hated them but also whenever they were on screen I was losing my mind waiting for something to get fucked up. They’re so funny and I love their dynamic and how they clash with the Hephaestus crew. Yes I am a Kepler enjoyer. I am NOT a kepler fucker but i am an enjoyer in the way someone enjoys watching birds with binoculars from the safety of inside a hide. I like evil people i like manipulation i like lies i like murder and conflict and violence and i like this scotch i like the taste i like the a smell i like the fe

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

Hilbert because I want to see him suffer and die in agony i hate doctors. sorry doctors. Would also torment jacobi for fun i think it’s funny when he gets mean

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Hilbert (see above) and Cutter and Pryce (normie choices but i really do hate them)

[taniushka12]

Top 5 quotes from W359? 👀

ufff........ quotes... quotes........ disclaimer these are mostly moments bc most of my relistens stop at s3 bc im not fond of jacobi nor maxwell and i have a terrible memory for quotes per se :')

1) minkowski my beloved minkowski commanding my beloved id die for her id kill for her

MINKOWSKI: You wanna play with me, huh? You wanna run rings around me? The joyless, boring, predictable old Minkowski? She can't stop you, right? Not someone as smart and powerful as you. You've got her pegged. Good. Get complacent. Get smug. That's right when you'll find me waiting for you. With a goddamm harpoon.

2) Eiffel to minkowski on securité :) like god do i even need to say it?

"Uh, yeah, they can go screw themselves. The entire universe will freeze before you're not the Commander of the Hephaestus."

(and minkowski's response:) ("Well that's... very gallant, in a kind of horrible, crude way.")

3) moment i fell in love w/ cutter aka his very first appearance ♥

(EIFFEL: I'm sorry if this is a stupid question, but, umm... What should we do with Hilbert?

For a moment that just hangs in the air. Then, Mr. Cutter BURSTS in LAUGHTER.)

MR. CUTTER: Oh, Dougy... Doug, Doug, that's not a stupid question, that's not a stupid question at all! ... You're going to shoot him.

4) cheating bc this isnt a quote but part of the transcript but Listen

(KEPLER, telling the pig joke: (...) ""Look: when you got a pig that good? You don't eat it in a single sitting."")

Eiffel takes that in. Stares at Kepler for a moment. And then both men LAUGH SOFTLY.

5) this lil part in hilbert's monologue (Am I Alone Now?)

"But alone... have had time to work on that one, have had eons, should have solved by now. Alone should be afraid of us."

6) hilbert's reply to lovelace on happy endings:

(LOVELACE: (...) when someone lies to you, when someone betrays you, when they leave you to die, alone, in the cold, you DO NOT FIND IT PERFECTLY EQUITABLE! You get angry, and you do whatever you have to in order to show them they have made the worst mistake of their lives. It doesn't matter what you have to give up, who you have to hurt, how far you have to go -)

HILBERT: Isabel... are you listening to yourself?

special mention to stuff that aren't quotes but are still among my favorites:

1) eiffel's "and then he woke up" and also the way he asks "you haven't figured out music?" in the watchtower is just... so dear to me

2) CUTTER'S AND PRYCE'S GOD SPEECH

3) "EVERYONE (with massive relief): The plant monster took the screwdriver :'D"

4) your honor

EIFFEL: C'mon, do you know how unnerving it is for me to be like, this thing she's doing, it's gotten too crazy? I'm Mr. Too Crazy! But you're going on 10 days of Captain Ahab's SpaceWalkabout, and it isn't working. The Heart of Darkness lighting? When does that ever end well?

MINKOWSKI: I have night-vision gear, Eiffel.

EIFFEL Oh, well that's fine then.

5) cutter's "Hell of a sunset. Someone ought to use it in a movie." and then after they reunite and they have their discussion Pryce just stares at the star and echoes "That's a hell of a sunset." like hhhhskgfsdd!!!!!! they <3 </3

6) from the same ep when eiffel and minkowski have pryce (and kepler but who cares) as a hostage and cutter tries to reason w/ them and minkowski says "Oh, see, that's funny. I'm not feeling particularly reasonable right now. I'm feeling like I might do something rash. Rash and impulsive.". That entire scene was very sexy of both min and eiffel ♥

[put “top 5” anything in my ask and ill answer]