#i love you and i wish peace for you
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Seeing a lot of hopeless and no actual coping mechanisms in the notes, have some semi-silly-but-actually-serious advice from a much younger me:
More serious ramblings in the tags
Chronic suicidal ideation is your brain’s response to having no other coping skills. Your brain is trying to keep you safe with the comfort of knowing you can just opt out of [your problems] life at any point. Equipping yourself with better coping skills, better options, is the only way to combat this defense mechanism.
#first step to cope is to identify what it is you actually want#because it isnt actually death#it's the cessation of a feeling#hate yourself?#take a shower go for a walk and talk to somebody who loves you#hate somebody else?#eat and and and importantly cook it yourself#hate a situation?#tidy up with marie kondo#feel like there's no hope at all?#draw a little guy. perhaps two#unbearably grumpy?#exercise and watch comedy#weepy?#sleepy#coping is a combo of self care and distraction#having dealt with suicidal ideation since age 11#i can say (and you will hate hearing this)#the best way to feel better is diet exercise and resisting isolation#if your personal situation makes any of these inaccessible to you#try the three C's#care create clean#caring for your body#creating something with your hands#and cleaning your personal space or otherwise making it more comfortable#coping takes effort#you CANNOT think yourself out of suicidal ideation#you must physically redirect it#i love you and i wish peace for you
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#may this day bring you all the joy peace and love it can :)#easter#happy easter#trans day of visibility#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#tdov#🏳️⚧️#i wish all a very#queer
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIR RICHARD "RINGO STARR" STARKEY (JULY 7, 1940)
#the happiest of birthdays to you rings!!#84 and you're still fab as always!#wishing you all the peace and love and all the best on your special day!#i love you so much!#ringo starr#the beatles#my gifs#beatlesedit#thebeatlesedit
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Being a Cissie King-Jones fan is so funny because she's probably the only superhero in existence where her fans actively root for her to not be in things.
#this is said with love I also wish her a peaceful retirement#but it so funny flipping between the Stephanie Brown tag#where everyone is flipping out about her 20 sec cameo in Kite Man#to the Cissie King-Jones tag#where everyone really wants her to find a way out of the Green Arrow plot#You are all so correct#she does not know these people and as soon as the bomb is out of her head should go home#but it's still a very funny response to a character who hasn't shown up in a decade being part of a multi issue storyline#cissie king jones#cissie king-jones#arrowette#green arrow#dc#dc comics#young justice 1998#yj 1998#i read comics
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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speedran this
@quiddie
#aabria iyengar#burrows end spoilers#burrows end#burrows end tula#dimension 20#brennan lee mulligan#i have a sprained shoulder . i should not be drawing but i needed to get tbis idea down#loved the finale but wish wed gotten a scene like this. something something narrative circles n shit#rest in peace dr wenabocker you poor man
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words cannot describe how happy i am that heket remains lamb's #1 hater in the entire world even after her cleansing
#i haven't drawn anyone from this game other than monch in so long. lmao#the new update has infused me with so many THOUGHTS!! it's driving me CRAZY#i had to draw this scene because this dialogue makes me sooo . happy. i love how angry she is. i love that she STAYS angry.#while everyone else feels more at peace she's still pissed off and i love that for her. heket they could never make me hate you#i think. while i don't much care for the bishops overall because i'm an npc enjoyer until the end. i think this solidified#heket as my favorite bishop . like I wish they didn't heal her voice for whatever fucking reason BUT. i can ignore mm's stupid ass decision#and focus on the less stupid ass decisions. <3#ok i'm done talking now. i drew this impulsively i can't stop thinking about this scene#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl heket#cotl lamb#cotl unholy alliance#cotl spoilers#clamart
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I beat Veilguard.
It's 4am. I'm a mess. I'm in tears.
#datv spoilers#the moment that completely broke me#''Ich entlasse Euch aus meinen Diensten''#Ar lasa mala revas#you are free#and so am I.. I feel like I've ascended from Solavellan Hell to Solavellan Heaven after ten flippin years#I think an embrace would have hit me even harder than a kiss at the end.. but it was just done so beautifully#I've always had one wish for Solas' story regardless of all the speculation and theories made over the years#and that was for him to find peace#so these are mostly tears of joy#I'm too overwhelmed to find the right words now#this game had many glaring problems to me but I still had a great time and there are many things to love#and maybe I mourn the potential of what could have been#the Veil still being up is.... very unexpected to say the least?#but Act 3 was incredible and god did that ending hit all the right spots for me#it's so strange to say ''goodbye'' to a character that you've been thinking about for so long#but I'm so thankful to have closure now#my heart is full#you know what's crazy?#right after that final cutscene ended I saw that it had actually started to snow outside for the first time this season#snow symbolizes purity or something right?#and that just made me think of how Solas used to envy Sera for her purity of purpose that he lacked#I like to think he regained it now#thinking about a little Wisdom spirit#hmm#I don't think I can sleep now#I think I'll just watch the snow a little more
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I swear, nothing makes me go bonkers fucking yonkers quite like comparing Athena and Apollos' introductions to the WAA.
When Phoenix asked Athena to come work for the agency, he reached out overseas to get in contact and offer her a job. When Phoenix asked Apollo to come work for the agency, he didn't even mention what the business was called or what they actually did.
On Athena's first day in court, Phoenix showed up and took over for her when she started to break down. On Apollo's first day in court, Phoenix made him an accomplice in crime and almost ruined his career.
When Athena introduces her childhood best friend to the WAA, they get her cleared of murder charges and save a friendgroup. When Apollo tries to introduce his childhood best friend to the agency, he dies before that can even happen.
When Athena returns to the space center, she is greeted by the robots with open arms. When Apollo returns to the space center, he is greeted by the name of a dead man.
When Phoenix sought out Athena as a protégé, it was because he realized how much she was hurting. When Phoenix sought out Apollo as a protégé, its because he realized how much he could be used to hurt others.
#something something you are everything I wish my life could have been.#you did not steal those opportunities from me because they were never even mine to begin with.#it feels like you were afforded so much more than I ever was but I look at you and I don't see someone at peace and happy#and the ways they use this to parallel him to AURA. someone who also feels like Athena 'stole' all the attention and love#and none of this in Athena's fault she didn't ASK for these things#she spends the whole game suffering from the fact that someone threw their life away just to preserve hers#but its happening and she cant stop it and apollo knows its not her fault but still. it still hurts#thinking about how protege comes from the french word 'to protect'#aa#ace attorney#ace attorney dual destinies#dual destinies#aa dual destinies#aa5#aa5 spoilers#athena cykes#apollo justice#phoenix wright#clay terran#juniper woods#spk plays dual destinies
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Look what came through the mail today! The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.
Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much, they are that much worth mentioning.
#letterstoear#nui#twst#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#malleus draconia#twst grim#mod posting#okay but i love squishing the bears with my thumb; they just have the right thickness to be pressed on#i really like the flower stickers; they look like romantically artistic wax seal#the letters are pleasantly nice#i love the part where cheka personally request for an audience with yuu thru sebek 🥺🥺🥹🥹 too cute hnggh .......#sebek becoming our little mailman for our little invitation aw 🥹 for those who wanna know the context of the letter;#i requested a letter from sebek that he sent home while he was away accompanying malleus on other country duty#my other favorite part is just him simply opening the letter with 'My love'#i'm sealed 🥹 the first paragraph is written so sweetly#i enjoy reading the letter slowly outside in peaceful afternoon today; i ran it through together with sebek nui#this will be my treasured keepsake from now on 🥹; it seriously made me miss letters and wish i have someone to send this kind of letter to#it was a bit funny how the envelope sebek's letter came from is sticked with the guys from free! sticker fhsdsh 🤣😂#and me with the white haired guy like WHo are u?? fsjdsdjsd (´つヮ⊂); but it's a really nice service#the thank you letter came with such a cute and yummy folding paper; thank you for the stickers too#i feel like there's a bit whoopsie on grim's winky eye fshfh like i think the sharpie just blurs the separating space '<' supposed to have#and just combine it all together into one angry eye; and sebek bear's eyes are just a little bigger than i expected it to be#but the more i look at them i think they are just having a little individuality & still cute#i embraced it all together while knowing the fact none of handmade thing would always be the same one with the other; hehe sebek nui has fr#i kinda forget that there's this kind of clip earring fshd; because i always get the ones that work like screw from aliexpress#i know that the literal clip one would just be literal meaning of pain fsh; just like the magnet one my father once got me when i was a kid#it was painful but pretty; tho i lost it quickly bcs magnet easily get loosed once one part of it moves around when u touch ur hair or face#anyhow i had a pleasant day because of this; thank you very much ! sebek nui said 'thank you' too! ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. ❀ ✿ 𖤣…
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Small detour of what I usually post, but I absolutely wish (other) clown the best of luck during these confusing and almost hopeless times- nobody knows how to deal with such amount of attention in such short amount of time- a blessing and a curse to behold
#Seeing their posts absolutely shattered me#I may never be able to relate to how he’s going through rn but at least I can relate to the fear of living in absolute fear#the fear of unable to be yourself in your own home with creative and personal freedom#The fear of being terrified that the thing that gives you the most innocent happiness will be heavily demonized and threatened#The fear of getting caught doing something you love and being yourself with your found identity#The fear of destruction#I relate heavily to this and to feel you are going to be caught doing anything that isn’t a crime hurts#I wish him safety and love during these stressful days#He’s brought so much joy to my life that I must keep private irl too#Whatever he decides for the fandom I will fully support it#I will still continue posting of course unless he wishes otherwise#If he sees this (which I doubt) hey other clown lmao- you are loved and not alone#It may be scary but you are not alone- you will never be alone#There will always be people out there who love you and there will always be those who are not even worth giving time of day#The internet is both a blessing and a cruel cruel unforgiving place#I hope it doesn’t deter you from doing what you love and hold dear#I hope you have anyone you can be with online or in irl that can give you the comfort you need#You deserve peace and security#Do what you feel is best#Welcome home
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rest in peace, liam 🕊
#liam payne icons#one direction icons#boy icons#boys icons#icons#liam payne#one direction#rest in peace#i wish you knew how much loved you were
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unfortunately for everyone in the tag, y’all wrote this on one of my posts and I DO in fact draw @lukeslywalkers @padawanduck @dramaticallytrue
#be careful what you wish for LMAO#was reading through my notes like ‘ha ha—wait. I draw…’#bb26#tucker des lauriers#joseph rodriguez#quinn martin#I am very aware this is an awful tucker likeness#but I reached the point where it was like. am I REALLY going to redo a bunch of work for a shit post#and the answer was no 😌❤️#peace and love#I feel like it’s a decent joseph and tbh that’s good enough for me#now if anyone spreads this outside of tumblr I am legally allowed to hunt you for sport#my art
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A lil rant about my experience with this god forsaken fandom
I made this blog around 2020 when I was 13 years old. This was my first shot at a dedicated fandom blog and I was pretty excited for it, to make friends, draw fanart, post fun stuff and what not.
All fun right? Right, so tell me why was it that literal 20 years olds felt the need to harass me, a then 13 year old girl with a relatively small blog, for the dumbest reasons possible?
What did I do that subjected me to 2 and a half years worth constant daily threats and harassment? Hmm???
You wanna know my crime? Apparently I showed interest in an antagonist character, which is so awful that grown adults felt the need to bully me. And following those adults came young impressionable people my age, that joined the bandwagon of hate against me.
As if other fandoms don’t have people literally dedicating themselves to a villain, no one bats an eye to that. Why did this fandom have such an issue? I also apparently dared to criticise the main character for a few of his flaws. Such a horrible thing to do right? I need to be burnt at the stake for it right?
I didn’t follow the “fixed” standards of the fandom so I was to be sent de*th/r*pe threats daily?? For not following the “rules” I was to be ostracised?
No please someone explain…I’m but a dumb bitch, I don’t understand what I did so terribly wrong to deserve this? Did I start a war? Did I rip open someone’s plush? Did I bully someone for not having the same ideology as me?
No it was but the fandom itself that for some reason found it so fun to bully a 13 year old, send her de*th and r*pe threats all because of not being of pjo fandom standards…let’s go and bombard her with hate!!
Do you realise how fucking stupid…this all sounds? Do you realise how low this is? Was bullying a child so fun? So trendy at the time?
Then came the victim blaming- I laugh everytime I remember people saying I must have done something really bad to get such harassment, that it’s all for attention. What kid wants to get hate everyday of their life for 2 whole fucking years? Tell me?
You know wanna know what I did wrong? Fight back, call the hate anons out for their bigotry. I was vocal about it, that’s what I did wrong right? Stand my ground? People said to ignore it and I did. But I still got bullied daily even if I didn’t respond. What was all this for?
I can imagine people asking why I didn’t simply leave the fandom? Why the fuck should I? I enjoy the stories, I enjoy the characters, they were my escape from real life struggles. It was the bullying I didn’t enjoy. Everyday I’d log on to enjoy posts and a few minutes later when the bigots found out I was active I was sent an anonymous threat.
Many of my oldest friends had to reduce the amount they interacted with me in fear of receiving harassment themselves. The extent of this is bigotry is beyond my understanding.
I did not deserve this much suffering AND ALL FOR WHAT? A STUPID LITTLE REASON THAT HAS BARELY ANY WEIGHT TO IT. Do people even realise the extent of what happened is beyond me. And Idc if I sound selfish, I want a fucking apology from all those bigots. I want compensation for the 2 and a half years of abuse I endured alone. I just want this bigotry to end, which surprise surprise! Still continues to happen.
Why do I bring this up now that it’s all over you ask? I’ve actually brought it up once before, but it was swept under the rug, (My deepest appreciation to the very few people who supported me when I first talked about it) I’m just finally being more vocal, because this has stuck with me. For all those 4 years this has stuck with me. It doesn’t mean if it’s over for now that all the trauma doesn’t linger. It still affects me to this day.
In fact I’m still being stalked by one of the people who sent me hate anons. One of the hate anons was revealed to be one of my bestest friends, they had admitted this to me and had the nerve to beg me to still remain friends. They were also the person who groomed me. They have left the fandom scene and I’ve rid of them from my life but they still continue to stalk me.
What do I get from ranting about all this? A bit of solace, a bit of weight off my shoulders. But nearly not enough for me to actually fucking heal. I also want people to realise how bigoted some are and how horrible the mentality of “fixed fandom standards/ideologies” is and that we as a fandom need to fucking change. Heck I know this issues in every fandom. But can we at least start with ours for a change for once?
Along side all of this there’s also a lot of racism and trans/homophobia that still actively prevails. Just look at what Leah went through when her casting was announced. Did she deserve all of that?? “Not my annabeth” do you realise how horrible that is to say to a CHILD? She is Annabeth whether you like it or not. And you are very welcome to leave if you wish to stick to your stupid racist nonsense.
I bet there are many others who have probably suffered the same may it not be for the same reasons, but everyone of them deserve their apologies and compensation as well.
Idc if I’ll get hate for this. I said what I said. I’m just so done.
#trigger warning#tw hate#I was also informed I was being mocked in group chats and there were sick rumours about me.#i won’t give a fuck if I get harassed again cux this literally shows how low this fandom will get#there’s so many layers to this I haven’t even gone into detail on#but I just want atleast this off of my chest. I was shaking and short of breath as I wrote this#I wish to thank all my oldest moots and friends that stuck by me despite everything. I cannot express how thankful I am to you guys#love you all tons.#what do u mean by compensation? just an apology from the same people who hurt me. which is nearly impossible. but idc I want to find them#and confront them. I need to bring my 13 year old self justice for what she went through. I pushed her feelings aside when this was over#but she never healed. I��m hoping she gets a bit of peace for now.#pjo fandom#percy jackson fandom#fandom toxicity
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I find it funny when metal elitists try to diss ST by calling it pop music (omg is that imagine dragons :0)
like, metal gatekeeper incorrectly assigns a genre to a particular artist or band, then insists they're an infallible source of knowledge and authority within their preferred genre. brother you apparently can't even differentiate alt metal from top 40 radio music. what makes you think I trust your opinion on anything?
#“clean vocals are just pop no matter what” i wish you a very go fuck yourself xo peace and love#have u ever heard pop? like do you know what pop is?#or is it just a catch-all for “music i don't like and therefore is inferior”#like idk how exactly to classify st lol. they def have pop influences but it aint pop#i think alt metal is fair. maybe prog. but i've also seen post metal too and i think that's cool lol#srry for the ramble i am just Thinking#elkk.txt#sleep token
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yayyyy finally i can post my wonderful poopsies 💖
#minecraft#steve minecraft#alex minecraft#herobrine#<- the cool guy with no fandom tag at the end#enderman#? whatever#artsbotz#i was gonna post more stuff abt them below the cut but actually#i already did that on another post. so i cant be fucked to retype#and i dont want to say everythingggg abt thwm at once#but im gonna do one of those like oc sheet templates w them#might even make my own. for my own sick desires#guysssss. do u like them. i love themmm#btw they r all trans and autistic. peace and love#my hero design is actually like crazy funny. literally ocification has occurred#idgaf 🖕 hes my kin i can do what i want#ohhhh oh i rlly wish i cld have drawn more of them recently b4 the ideas left my brain but i have noooo time#<- busy playing mc#ask me things abotu them. if you desire. i shall answer POST HASTE#i literally have one million fun facts abt them i cld say i just tried to stick to design specific stuff
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