#i love you all and wish to kiss your foreheads

[imujings]

[ot13] 13 ways to say three little words

synopsis. | the words that seventeen use to say i love you.

♯ pairing(s). | seventeen x gn!reader (all separate) ♯ genre(s). | fluff, established relationships ♯ wc. | 1.5k ♯ warnings. | cursing (k.sy), eating habits (j.ww), insecure thoughts (l.jh), crying (x.mh), food mentions (k.mg, c.hs)

jay’s musings. | 🎧 my heart it beats for you - grent perez

001 — 🍒. Before you can even unfasten your seat belt, Seungcheol's door clicks shut and he's on your side of the car, his smile warming you up through the window. You immediately make a noise of protest, seeing the numerous grocery bags lining his arms. He furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head as he opens the door for you. "Let me handle it." He knows you’re able to do it yourself, but why should you when he’s there, ready to help in less than a moment’s notice? (That, and he takes pride in the way your eyes savor his biceps.) You can pout all you want, sure, yet the man will just kiss your forehead, telling you that you can help him by unlocking the front door and making yourself comfortable inside.

002 — 🪽. “Come over here, please,” isn't as uncommon of a phase as you think it would be from Jeonghan. He's not one to beg—and would never admit to doing so in front of someone other than you—but there’s something about the way you bundle into the bedroom, dressed in nothing but his sweater, that makes his heart squeeze. His stomach does a cartwheel at your sleepy smile and the words tumble out of his mouth in a soft, lethally desirous whine. When you glance over at his request, the man’s lips are pursed, displeased at the fact that you aren’t currently curled into his side. Unfortunately for you, he won’t say anything more until you giggle and relent to his wishes, falling into his arms as he tells you just how much he’s missed you.

003 — 🦌. Joshua’s beaming smile greets you in your kitchen, his shining eyes drinking in the tiredness of your own. You must’ve woken up from a nap. “I was just thinking about you,” the man says while turning away from the stove with a mug in hand. It’s your favorite hot drink, still steaming with heat. You graciously thank him and soak in the warmth of the beverage. The patter of rain outside does nothing to help you wake up for productivity, and you know for a fact this won’t contribute anything to it, either. Even more so when he’s already guiding you to your cozy living room, his arm circling around your waist and asking what show you want to put on.

004 — 🐈. As the two of you hop into the taxi, hand in hand, Jun’s quiet question reaches your ears. “Sit next to me?” You still don’t really understand why he asks every single time, especially when it’s only you two traveling. But of course, you agree, and he sacrifices the window seat to sit in the middle, head already falling to your shoulder with a sleepy drawl. Your cheek rests against the man’s hairline as you gaze out the window. You’ll wake him up when you reach your destination, huffing that that’s the last time you’ll let him pull a dirty trick like that, but not before you press a soft kiss to his temple and intertwine your fingers with his.

005 — 🐯. When Soonyoung asks you if you had recently switched the brand of shampoo and conditioner you use, you have half the mind to tell him straight up how weird it is that he’s smelling your hair. He barks out a laugh at your comment, saying that it’s not his fault you have a certain aura, scent, and vibe to you that he would notice even the slightest amount of change. His laugh quickly fades when you ask just what the hell he could possibly mean. Face slowly warming at the incredulous way he stares at you, as if you had asked why the sky was blue, the man’s next words make you melt. “What are you talking about? I notice you all the time.”

006 — 🦊. It’s almost two in the afternoon when a takeout bag is placed down on the table next to you, the smell wafting from it suspiciously similar to your favorite food. “Have you eaten today?” Wonwoo’s question has you flinching, eyes blinking up and away from your computer for the first time in what feels like hours. His own eyes soften at your demeanor, pulling out the chair next to you and settling in before beginning to take the food and utensils out. The man doesn't say anything more about the topic, instead opting to give you little updates about his day. As you two eat together, he lets his thigh press against yours, and you indulge yourself—just this once. (Until he, like always, shows up again.)

007 — 🍚. The poem is short and sweet. You had wracked your brain all night trying to find the perfect words to encapsulate how you feel, but as you stand before Jihoon now, your nerves are on fire. You watch as his eyes take in the curves of your handwriting, silent. He probably thought these simple words were unoriginal. Boring. Cheesy. Meaningless. You’re snapped out of your self-deprecating thoughts when the man suddenly coughs loudly, hiding his reddening face beneath his hands. His tone is meek. “Ah, you’re really something, aren’t you?” But he’s grinning, and then his lips crash into yours with a desperation you’ve never felt from him until now.

008 — 🐸. Your vision is blurry, and you aren’t really sure where you are until Minghao’s soft, reassuring voice and soothing hand at your back are processed by your brain. “I’m here, I’m here,” he murmurs. You hiccup and cling to him, your sobs slowly subsiding. It’s a little hard to breathe for a while, but with his help you’re able to lean back against your cushioned couch without feeling like the world is crumbling around you. When the man goes to make you a cup of tea you beg him to stay with you, but he merely shakes his head, wiping away the tears on your streak-stained cheeks. “I’ll be right back, okay? Stay strong now. I believe in you.”

009 — 🐶. Rows of stocked shelves with various yummy foods do nothing to distract you from your goal. You tug on Mingyu’s sleeve and ask him if you two could have a certain food you’ve been craving lately for dinner. An apology is ready to spill right after, knowing he probably already had prior plans for what to cook, but he doesn’t even hesitate before turning into a different aisle where he knows the ingredients lie. You let out a little cheer that confuses and amuses the man all at once. Why are you even entertaining the idea of him saying no? It’s your world, and he’s just living in it. “Of course,” he hums when you thank him profusely. “Whatever you want.”

010 — ⚔️. In the dead of winter, Seoul’s city air is, quite frankly, freezing. The scarf covering your face, along with your mittens and thick winter coat, all feel like thin notebook paper against the biting winter wind. Seokmin, on the other hand, is snugly encased around your arm and giggling all the while during your walk. “You’re so warm!” he laughs, the man’s gloved hands digging into your clothes like you’ll float away if he isn’t careful. He doesn’t even have a hood on, and you scold him for this, to which he just hugs you tighter. A particularly harsh gust of wind threatens to topple you two over and he presses his face to yours, skin surprisingly toasty. “No, I’m okay, really. I mean, how can I be cold when I’m with you like this?”

011 — 🍊. Seungkwan fiddles with the photograph in his hands. “We knew each other too late.” His gaze is almost mournful, and it tears at your heart, resting your head on the man’s shoulder as you murmur that fate has its reasons. He huffs as he slides the photo—one of you and him from an outing, smiling with cheeks pressed against each other—into its placeholder that’s colorfully decorated with stickers and annotations in pen. Closing your shared scrapbook of memories, he lays his head on yours and speaks softly into the silence. “You don’t understand. I wish I could’ve known you longer. I wish I could’ve made more memories with you. I wish I had known you sooner.”

012 — 🐢. Your hand is already on the doorknob when you call out to Hansol that you’ll be going to run some errands. To your delight, the man is at your side immediately. “Okay. I’ll go with you.” He helps you pick out some bright red strawberries for the shortcake you want to try making tomorrow. He gives his opinion on what flowers would look best on your dining room table (spoiler alert: they’re white tulips). He even goes with you to the post office, standing in line for a whopping thirty seconds as you drop off your return package. On the way back to the car, you ask him what he wants to do next. He shrugs with an easy smile. “S’long as it's with you, I’m cool with whatever.”

013 — 🦦. “I knew you could do it!” Chan cheers, strong arms grabbing your waist to lift you up and spin you around. Your laughter is contagious, infecting him with your symptoms of pure adoration and a lightened heart. He places you gently on the ground, letting go for only a moment before his arms are enveloping you again in a hug. His comforting cologne fills your senses and you relax against his hold. Your body feels weightless, somehow, and any heaviness settled on your shoulders is gone as the man’s lips find the crown of your head. All the hard work, all the sleepless, worrisome nights led up to this moment—and you know you’d do it a thousand times over if given the chance to hear his euphoric words again.

#s — @etherealyoungk, @ylangelegy, @shinysobi, @heartepub, @junplusone, @fallminlove, @wheeboo. if you’d like to be notified when new releases drop, don’t hesitate to send in an ask! <3

[prkhaven]

MOTH TO A FLAME -p.js, p.sh-

With intent of moving on faith had other plans, guiding you right back where you started in the name of love and fate

pairing— fwb’s brother!jay x fem!reader x fwb!sunghoon

genre: smut minors do not interact, beauty behind madness, angst, slight fluff,friend with benefits au, friend with benefits’ brother au, park twin brothers, sibling rivarly, love triangle, p with plot, p with feeling, part 2 of you belong to me

wc: 14.9k

-all warnings under cut-

warnings: morally ambiguous characters, kissing, profanity, arguing, manipulation, toxicity, possessiveness, brief mention of family member passing and alcohol consumption

smut warnings: unprotected sex(whoopsie), p in v, emotional sex (emotional love making), cock warming, light dirty talk, praising, creampie, usage of nicknames (baby, princess, good girl)

You shot up from Jay’s arms in utter terror hearing Sunghoon’s voice on the other side of the door. A cold bucket of water drenched you making the extent of what you’ve done, of who you’ve done prominent.

“I swear- Open the fucking door Jongseong!”

With frantic eyes moving around your chest heaved until you soloed in on the locked bedroom door and how the doorknob feverishly rattled to open it.

In the moment the promise you made the moment you left home flashed through your racing mind. To have no more regrets—Go for what you want. Life is too short to dwell on things that cannot be changed, accept it as it is. It either shapes you to become better or worsens you from what you already started as.

Somehow, you single handedly managed to stomp on the very promise.

Jay saw the exhaustion instantly melt from you, replacing it with pure distress. He ran his tongue over his lips as he cupped your cheeks bringing your attention away from the banging door and onto him.

“Shh it’s okay” The pad of his thumb creased over softly as your skin crawled feeling disgusted, disappointment and guilt seeping into each crack your body had. Each bang on the door replicated each thump against your head

“Baby look at me” The attempt in calming your heavy pants was pointless, he had no way in calming you when all he wanted was Sunghoon to just shut up

“I know. I know” Jay hushed, wrapping his arms around you into his warm embrace. You shivered at the unexpected contact, your train of thought from the door gone as he soothed your bare back, “Let me get you a shirt”

“Stay right here, let me deal with him” It was soft and sweet like honey wishing to ease your nerves but you weren’t rest assured in the slightest but he let go of you before you could feel even an ounce of comfort from him

Wrapping your arms around your body to cover your bare self, you listened to every single muffled word that spewed from Sunghoon’s mouth. “Open the damn door!”

“Stop being a coward and face me Jay”

“Park Jongseong open the fucking door!”

And yet never once did you hear your name in any of his sentences of distress. You didn’t know whether that was good or bad—you still felt your stomach twisting in itself.

“Here we go” Moving your eyes hearing Jay who was already dressed, giving the same warm smile that never left his face

Holding out a shirt, he pulled your arms away from your body. You winced at the sudden feel of soreness connecting to your brain from your body and Jay had to hold back a prideful smile from forming, reminding himself of the graveness of the moment.

Slipping your arms and head through, his shirt laid over your body and he couldn’t help but have his eyes rack over. He knows he should be focusing on his brother that was going to quite literally break down his door any second.

His body leaned in and placed a peck on your forehead when he dragged up his sheets to cover your body, “Stay right here baby”

Seeing the back of Jay’s head walking closer and closer to the door, you felt a sickening feeling growing in your stomach. You decided to disregard Jay’s words, your eyes roamed around the room in search of your discarded underwear only to find them folded right next to you.

Peering over his shoulder for a moment, Jay smiled when you noticed the piece of undergarment left behind for you. He wanted to help you or more like he will. Especially in ways you need him.

He’s not a monster—far from it. He’s willing to deal with anything and everything if it means protecting you from harm, especially from Sunghoon who took you away from him.

Not the other way around.

There was hesitance in him once he stood in front of the door. His jaw clenched watching the shaking door. He wasn’t scared of his brother or of what he would do.

He was more worried about how this will affect you, of all the damage that Sunghoon has caused to you, in order to show you what true love is.

Jay’s fingers twisted the lock and he expected his brother to burst open the door but instead there was a defying silence. A pin drop could be heard, he furrowed his eyebrows considering this was the first time he’s witnessed his brother so quiet.

His hand hovered over the doorknob, sucking in a deep breath twisting at the knob but before the door could even crack open, Sunghoon burst it open with haste.

Stumbling back Jay tried to regain his balance but like a flash, he felt pain straight to his jaw while his head flung to the side from the impact.

Not even able to adjust to the pain shooting through, his collar was grabbed and he was forced to face Sunghoon who was furiously staring at him, heavy pants falling from him. “Where the fuck is she?!”

“Sunghoon!”

Your loud screech made him stop, the shout of his full name instead of the nickname you always called him in his brother’s room made a strike hit directly in his chest

Seeing for a second how Jay held his jaw moving it around until he looked over at you and his harsh demeanor dropped along with his heart to the pit of his stomach. A look of disbelief in your eyes.

It bothered him, you shouldn’t be in disbelief, it should be him.

The more he looked at the unlabeled expression. You were too mixed in with other emotions, it was ineligible to pin exactly which emotion was which, which he used to do easily.

Rage, regret, and most of all disappointment screamed at him, he just wasn’t sure if it was for himself or you but he could feel it in his bones.

His hand loosened around Jay’s collar enough for his brother to slip out of his grasp to stand in front of you to shield you—to protect you from him.

Gritting his teeth, he glared harshly with reflection of his anger, “Get away from her” Sunghoon’s chilling voice rang throughout the room, quickly masking the slight shiver in his tone

“She doesn’t want- She doesn’t fucking need saving from me. She needs saving from you” Sunghoon marched towards Jay, his finger pointed direct at him

Jay’s arm extended behind to push you further behind him when he noticed, “Backup Hoon” Jay’s soft tone retaliated the harsh one the other was seething out

Letting out a loud scoff, Sunghoon dropped his arm to his side as he stared in pure disbelief. Your eyes looked between the two brothers as your bottom lip jutted.

Sunghoon waited for a response from you, to step in and shield him from Jay but met with a familiar disappointment at the silence, he unconsciously clenched his lips tighter together to conceal the shiver of his lips that was slipping through his mouth.

Not trusting himself to say another word, he turned his heel and left the bedroom. Jay let out a loud sigh of relief and right when he was going to turn to you, he froze when you yelled out Sunghoon’s name, softly pushing past him to chase after him.

Jay’s eyes followed your fading figure, a twinge twist in him as he sees the back of your head, realizing it’s becoming something he’s growing far too accustomed to, leaving him stranded in his room, cold.

“Sunghoon!” You yelled again as you chased after Sunghoon when he stopped right before the front door, an evident slouch in his usual perfect posture, his hands balled into a fist at his sides

Is he stupid for denying the obvious or is he just reluctant in accepting the truth.

In an internal desperate search for something that could delude him because even after coming back home, hearing the muffled noise growing louder the more he stepped closer to the room followed by the pained call of your voice yearning for Jay didn’t feel real because it wasn’t right?

His body shaking, the build up spilling over as he harshly turned his body around to face you, “Why you?!” He shouted, “It could’ve been Sor-“ He paused abruptly before clearing his throat

“It could’ve been anyone else, why did it have to be you” His voice cracked slowly growing softer after each word

Ignoring the clench of your chest closing in, you chuckled shaking your head softly as the sound of skin slapping as your arms harshly landed at your side, “You tell me Sunghoon”

Your choice of words meant more than the surface level. He knew that, he could feel it and yet, he was arrogant to admit the truth of it.

His mouth opened in response but nothing came out. You bit your lip frustration letting out a loud sigh. “Go on, tell me Sunghoon. Why me of all people?”

“Was it because I was easy or was I just unfortunately the first girl you laid eyes on that would suffice this-this stupid plan of yours?”

The evident scrunch in your face with the mention of his set to fail plan from the start was a harsh reminder of the truth of why you were in his life to begin with.

Feeling his stomach churning as his heart cracked more, “I-I” He stuttered finding the words, “It-It’s not like that” Sunghoon took a step closer to you, unsure if he was trying to convince you or himself, “It’s never been like that”

“What has it been like then? Please enlighten me, just what are you so afraid of?”

That you’ll leave me is what he would’ve told you he had the courage to admit it. He thinks the situation would be far different from what it is now if he just had the will to say it outloud.

The thought of having to be forced to lose you tore him apart beyond recognition.

Seeing the change of expression from him—of something driven by anger to a breaking point, your face fell along with your heart melting to mush, “Sunghoon, that's all I’m asking of you… Speak your mind, tell me what you fee and I’ll listen” You softly patted your chest, wanting to emphasize your mere existence to him, “You know, I will- I always do”

The comfort you brought him swallowed him whole so much he didn’t realize your hands hovering over his arms until they lightly grazed them. He looked up from the ground to catch your eyes. The genuine look in them meant to be reassuring only left taunts in their wake.

“Please Sunghoon” A last attempt in bringing any type of rational conversation between you both

But to your disappointment, he yanked his body away from yours without a single word, not even daring to look behind his shoulder while opening the door, a hesitant step out of the door before placing it outside and walking out.

You stared face contorting in realization, “H-Hoonie” Calling out to him was useless, a burn built up in you as the door slamming muffled it to be left unheard

The weak of your knees buckled after one another, the weight of your world crashing down on you, “Hey Hey” Jay’s alarming breath came and rushed over to you, his knees scraping against the hard tile floors to catch the fall

When your body felt the warm embrace, you crumbled in his arms. Gulping down your silent sobs attempting to wipe the fallen tears away but your hand shook, unable to clean up the streaks going down your face.

Jay’s arms held you tightly whispering sweet nothing into your arms while he crumbled to the floor with you. His body rocked softly as he held you and consoled you.

Moving your head side to side when he tried to pull you up from the ground but he softly held your reluctant self hoisting you up, “Let’s go sit down somewhere else”

You tried to plant yourself in your step fearing that if you moved a muscle, the world you’ve grown accustomed to, the life you accepted would truly be stripped from you—you’d lose everything.

He continued to help you to stand up right, your body unconsciously resting against his as he became the pillar for you to stand. Unable to resist the pull of your body, forcing your leg to move after another.

Whilst being pulled away, you turned your head to look back to the closed door. You felt your heart shrivel as your robot-like movements came to a halt. Vision blurry with your eyelids feeling heavy, instinctively your body moved towards it until a grazing finger hooked under your chin moving your gaze away.

In your new view, Jay appeared with the dim lighting shining behind him, a welcoming smile as his other hand’s thumb rubbed at your shoulder as he guided you again, never letting your gaze let up his.

Only moving forward with no backward glances.

As the door closed behind him, Sunghoon wanted to disintegrate into nothing. His car keys dug straight into his palm, each step of his hard and heavy.

He didn’t think he would be able to walk out but he proved himself wrong and he hated it.

Slamming the driver’s door, he threw the keys into the cup holder, his hands flew to grip the steering wheel where he felt the burn of leather under his palm.

He screamed in frustration, hitting the steering wheel repeatedly in pure anger. He was exploding, an eruption that he couldn’t stop.

Instead of being in the house with you—to feel the radiating warmth of comfort, he sat in silence in the cold air of his car.

Unable to have the energy to even turn on his car since the heavy feeling in his chest rooted him into the seat.

If he took this hit, he’d enter a point where he would never return from. He would never forgive himself for being a coward.

“Fuck!” He hit the leathering around his steering wheel before leaning down and pressing his forehead against it

The broad and perfect posture of his shoulders he has pride in now hunched over his body feeling smaller than he has ever felt before.

“Don’t. Don’t” Each word followed with a shake in between, his grip loosened around the wheel and fell to the side, “Please don’t cry” His eyes burning but he still refused to blink

Yet, a stride of wetness creased down past his cheek to his chin, hanging at the tip to fall. He scoffed to himself in the mockery as he used the back of his hand to wipe the single tear away.

He sniffled roughly in an attempt to remind himself of who he is, of that promise he made years ago—Park Sunghoon doesn’t cry but after the single tear, it couldn’t stop.

・・・・・

Your hand hovered over the door, taking in the design of a door you’ve seen far too many times. You opened your mouth before shaking your head and nearly turned around but the front door opened right before you could leave.

Jay’s wide smile was already plastered before even got to fully see you. The door wide open as he shifted to the side, enough space to welcome you in, “I’m glad you were able to come”

The swimming trunks immediately caught your eye when you looked over at him, noticing the thin see through tank top, sunglasses resting on top of his head, the once eyebags under his eyes completely gone, a lighter demeanor radiating off of him with a twinkle in his eyes.

Your lips twitched. He looked happy.

“You offered” You softly responded, stepping foot into the house

Your eyes discreetly looked around, taking in how everything remained in the exact place even when everything was different. Deep down, your stomach flipped and turned into a squeeze as your fingers twinged at your side before curling into a fist, your thumb running over your knuckles.

It was eerily quiet which wasn’t uncommon but rather feeling the pleasant calming nature, you felt a heavy weight rest on your shoulders. The sound of the door behind snapped you out, earning a peering gaze over your shoulder to notice the obvious distance between the two of you.

Fiddling with your fingers, your gaze remained on the floor but when you were going to speak, Jay beat you to it and spoke up. “I just wanted to check in. See how you were doing, unbearable heat, am I right?” He awkwardly chuckled

There was more he wanted to see. Wanted to see how you were holding up but even still through a weak smile nodding your head. “I’m fine” Grazing your arm feeling him inch closer into your space, “How about you? You look… good” You turned your attention over to him

“I’m doing the best I have been in a while” He smiled warmly prompting your own lackluster smile back at him, “Come come” He took the initiative and walked ahead of you leading towards the patio door

Your footsteps slowed, watching how he walked through but you remained still. Jay noticed the lack of presence following him, he turned around to see you hesitant in joining him.

Suddenly coming into view, you looked up seeing Jay extending out a hand for you to grab. “It’s okay” The tone tender and soft afraid to speak louder and scare you, “I’m right here”

A lump formed in your throat but you bit back your tongue. A tight lip smile before softly talking his hand as he brought you onto the patio. Your eyes immediately looked around, a tug upwards on your lips as you scanned the area, a dazed expression casting on your face.

The splash of water erupted making you blink harshly to see the rippling effect in the pool. Your heart hammered as you took steps closer to the edge of the pool, your mind reeling at a thought—a foolish one might you add.

Jay emerged from the bottom of the pool, his hands wiped over his face. The brightest smile ever over his face, how his eyes sparkled while looking up at you as his hands gripping the ledge propelling his body up just enough to rest his folded arms over to hold himself up. “Pool is perfect temperature”

A string of his hair clung to his forehead. You crouched down, your hand pushing back the singular hair with a strained smile. “There you go” You softly whispered

His wet hand grabbed your arm and pulled you in with a laugh, you squealed and flared your arms as you were submerged into the cold chlorine water. Strong hands gripped you as you pushed yourself to the surface, erupting a loud gasp from your mouth when the air hit your face.

Jay’s laughter flooded your ears as you wiped your face down to rid of the water on it. Whipping your head towards Jay to see the heartfelt laughter rumbling out from the depths of his stomach, leaving you to wonder has he always laughed like this.

When he opened his eyes to look at you, his laughter began to die down, soft chuckle with bursts of loud held back laughs until he let out a big sigh. “Sorry, you look like you needed to cool down”

Sending him a harsh glare as you try to make your way to the edge of the pool but he remained to have his hold on you making the downwards of your mouth turn into a smile followed by a scoff.

Following after you until you were in the shallow ends, Jay looked at you with a sheepish grin before loosening his hold on you.

Instantly your hand flew to splash the water in front of you, he laughed as he accepted the water sent his way. You laughed loudly seeing the expand of his arm and thrown back head as the water splashed at his body.

He opened his eyes and looked at you with wide eyes when the splashing stopped and with a sudden notice, his expression shifted and your smile faltered into an awkward cough, “What?”

The look of his eyes softening and filled with the same emotion he always looked at made you push out your lips for a second before landing into a thin line. The water swished around him as he pushed through and walked closer to you.

Eyeing him as he got closer, you raised your arms up but you dropped them when Jay sunk to his knees in the shallow end in front of you.

The water covering his built body, the tanktops sticking to his body leaving no imagination to know what was underneath. A quick thought lingered towards the back muscles your fingers dug into, the sculptured body that you were clinging onto for support—as if imagination was needed for your mind.

You quickly pulled yourself up slightly but your eyes never moved from his. He looked up at you with a side smile before extending his hands out for you to grab. Looking in between them and his face, his smile grew when the faint piano melody followed by hums played in the background, “Lana del rey?”

He didn't respond to you right away, tilting his head to the side when his eyes pooled with such care when the lyrics flowed through the air. Taking a moment to appreciate the song coming on. “Guilty” He chuckled as the bright sunlight beaming down casted a hue over him

‘Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?’

‘Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?’

Goosebumps ghosted your skin, not fully sure if it occurred because of the window passing by that brushed away his damped hair or with the way he just looked at you without a word.

A flutter in your chest reminds you of reality. The thumps of each beat in the song mimicked the ones of your heart. Gulping down the forming lump as you watched the sparkle in his eyes grow the longer he looked at you.

‘Will you still love me when I’m no longer beautiful?’

“From The Great Gatsby” Jay’s voice followed through the music, melting into one with it, “Or how I remember it… The greatest longing ever known”

Your face scrunched up in the moment, the clear scenes from the movie flashing through your mind as you recall it from all that time ago from when you first watched it, “The greatest longing huh…” You softly said to yourself

Being able to pull your gaze away to focus on the scenery in the distance, “What would you do in that situation?”

Jay remained looking at you, a loud sighing coming from him didn’t manage to catch your attention fully, “I would do everything in my power to get back the one I love with me”

The sincerity bled through his voice and into your aching soul, “After suffering countless time without her, I would do anything to make her see me again”

Your lips stretched back shaking your head at the answer, “I meant as Daisy”

He shook his head instantaneously, “I’d be gatsby” The fast respond made you finally look away from what's it front of you—to acknowledge him

Tilting your head to the side, you saw how the bright smile faded away and was met with the thin lining of his lips, “You’d be with him?”

“No I would be him” Jay let out a sigh, “I would never find myself in Daisy’s position because I’d be in Gatsby’s position in the first place”

The harsh thump in your chest made you slightly shift in the water, the whirl of the mineral made the sense of cloud grow greater, “You’d do all of that..?”

Jay extended his arms out landing on each side of you growing closer to you, “I would do far more than what he’s done” The smile didn’t meet his eyes but it didn’t need to, his words were perfectly conveyed

‘Dear Lord, when I get to heaven’

‘Please let me bring my man’

ꨄ︎

As you threaded up the stairs, your hands ghosted over the rails knowing if you touched them, it would burn your skin too much. With each step up the stairs, your heart grew more active, your breathing became uneven as you reached the stop of the stairwell.

A familiar hallway emerged and your heart undeniably dropped. The same portrait hung from the wall and you had to force yourself to look at the ground as you walked by—focusing on the intent of finding towels to dry up.

Yet, as you passed your body shivered at the ghost feel of a hard gaze following your every move. Your fingers digging into the flesh of your palm as your legs quickly carried you away and past the closed bedroom door and portrait.

Reaching the closet where the extra amenities were held, you came to a stop right when in the corner of your eye, you spotted the closed balcony door. Seeming your body didn’t wait for your mind to register, gliding across the floor before landing in front of it. Your hand twists the knob and pries it open enough for you to slip through.

You held your arms close to your chest, each step closer to the outlining rail ahead of you. The scenery grew into your sight by the second, making your heart cave in itself, a soft smile ghosting your face when overlooking the backyard.

Resting your arms on the rail, your phone coming into view as you unlocked it with dancing fingers crossing over the screen before clicking on the contact that you’ve refused to open.

Instantly, messages that were once constant flooded your screen. A saddening feeling itchy inside of your chest. All the good morning and goodnight messages he sent you even if you were right next to him.

But the more you scrolled down, the messages came to an abrupt stop with you being the final message.

You: Sunghoon can we please talk

-Unable to send message. Message block is active-

Sighing heavily as you stared at the subscript underneath your failed message. Seeing the name at the top of the screen made your vision impaired for a moment before refocusing on it—Sunghoon.

Your thumb hovered over the call button that all it took was one tap and you would kill the curiosity. Yet, you hesitated.

The more your thumb inched closer, the more you grew more uncertain of whether you wanted to awaken what you have pushed deep down to never be touched again. Head filled to the brim of him regardless of how many times you’ve tried time and time again to get rid of him that you swore he was still there calling out to you softly.

The endearment with a hint of an underlying emotion that you couldn’t decipher made your thumping heart come to a halt, the sound of his voice grew louder that it was practically screaming in your mind.

You laughed at yourself, shaking your head, dipping it into a low hang. The slouch of your head now laying on your shoulders with an unexplainable heavier weight washing down on you.

Immediately picking on the hushed whisper of your name at the shell of your ear, you jerked away ripping your eyes open as you whipped your head around to Jay resting his head on your shoulder. The night winds no longer affect your heating body.

His arms extended out at each of your sides, his hands covered and holding the forgotten towel around you both. His eyes looked ahead to mimic what you were doing. The breath in your throat got caught trying to focus on him until you pulled back when Sunghoon’s voice suddenly creeped into your mind.

Moving your head around, eyes frantically wandering around—looking for the source where it came from but you only caught Jay’s gaze looking at you. A light frown on his face that you would’ve missed if you weren’t paying close attention.

“It’s cold up here” His voice softly said, “We have a fireplace I can start up” Your eyes blinked quicker than usual when you heard this—you didn’t know there was a fireplace here

Jay wrapped the towel for you to grasp onto as he flickered to start the fire. Holding the soft cloth tighter around as you watched him. The flames roared brighter and hotter as he softly chuckled and taking a step back to admire his work, “All done” He hummed before taking a seat and patting the empty space next to him

Straining out a smile, you silently took a seat next to him shifting as you got adjusted, noticing how he still wore the damp tank top from earlier. Fiddling with the cloth around you, you extended an arm and wrapped the other end to his shoulder.

You could feel his gaze shifting towards you but you looked away before you caught it.

Jay smiled to himself, gripping onto the end of the towel and holding it in place, forcing himself to inch closer to properly drape it over his shoulder. There was a moment of silence, the fire cackling being the only thing that could be heard.

“I didn’t know there was a fireplace here” You broke the silence with your sentence

“Only me and my mom really used to use it…” There was a pause in his sentence before he continued, “Sunghoon never really like using it, he preferred to go inside to dry up”

Your eyes remained on the growing fire, the warmth radiating off of it to warm your skin. Letting go of the material around you causing it to towel slip off your shoulder.

“Can I ask what happened?”

“That prompted all of this” You waved your hands in a circular motion and Jay watched how your face contorted with your heavy sigh, it was the least that he could tell you

“You know that, you and I met back then. Before you and Sunghoon met” The news made you shift over to him with a shocked expression

He rubbed his nape with a strained chuckle, the towel now falling off his shoulder to his back, “It was our last year of school. I was running late on my first day as a transfer and I couldn’t rely on my dad to bail me out of trouble” Jay laughed as he recalled the time

“So for the first time in my life, I hopped a fence to not get caught and to my luck there was a kind girl just on the other side of the wall that made sure of that”

You’ve just had a revelation.

“That was you?” Your voice barely above a whisper but he caught it nevertheless

“That was me” Jay softly responded, “Ever since you helped me, I tried to show my gratitude to you. I wanted to repay you for saving me from an earful from my dad”

“But everytime, I was near you I froze up. My words started to jumble together and you somehow grew farther from me with each attempt” He pitied himself from back then, how his past self wouldn’t believe his current self

“So having to find an alternative, I decide to write to you every single day and left each note on your desk”

You searched for any deceitfulness and it came up empty, “That sticky note you have for your lock screen”

Not even noticing how he knew what your lock screen was, you shuffled to take out the device sneaking a glance towards the lightened up screen ‘Go for what you want’

“That was me”

A ringing in your ear had you releasing the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You remember when Sunghoon wrote it for you—taping it to the side of your mirror, to remind you every day to chase after what you want.

You were deceived.

“There was no fate if you thought that’s what it was when he wrote that. It was just me”

“I-I don’t get it” You interrupted, “How did he know you used to write me notes? How did he know what you wrote to me back then?”

“He went through my things after leaving me on the plane because he knew I couldn’t do anything to stop him. He searched for any piece that get back at me for whatever I did to him”

Your head jerked back, body leaning back in the armless couch, “What do you mean he left you on the plane?”

“We both got accepted to the same university and when the time came, we were on the flight but he left before we took off… Sunghoon was never supposed to stay home” The thumping of your heart mixed with your blaring ringing ears

“What did you do to him?” Your voice became stronger that he could feel it in his bones

He didn’t want to dump everything on you, it wasn’t your burden to bear. It was something between him and Sunghoon. He just needed to make sure you knew how your beginning was meant to be with him as he could only hope you would end with him too.

“Nothing. I did nothing to him”

You dropped your head into your hands, rubbing at your creased forehead. There must be more—they just had to be. The gnaw at your stomach ate away at you as the words repeated in his mind.

Nibbling on your lip, teeth dragging at your bottom flesh as eyes moved around, the faint sparks flying from the fire landing in front of you to the ground before burning out, “Where were you that day, when you told me to meet up with you at the park?”

You brought your head up to face him, “You told me to come and I did- Only to be left out like an idiot waiting for you to come just for you to not show up that day”

“If you say all these things- If what you mean is true… Where were you?

He tensed at your words, his shoulders squaring up while his gaze looking down to the floor unable to face you. Regrets he’s had a few but then again, he was not going to let losing you become his biggest one.

“I’m sorry for not showing up. I am so sorry” Cracks in his sentence reflecting his state of mind

“Sorry doesn’t cut it Jay. You stopped sending notes after that and I never heard from you since”

“I really wanted to go to you. I swear I did- I never meant to stop writing, It’s just that… life shifted for me during that time and I made a sacrifice that I regret ‘till this day”

Your hands pulled yourself up in surprise, shifting in your seat left to watch how Jay came kneeling down in front of you. A failed attempt in trying to get him to stand as he stayed rooted in place. “But I’m done making sacrifices to make everyone else happy. I’m going to do what I want”

“And I know I want you. I’ll wait for you if you need time—I’ll give you all the time in the world if you need it. If you need to use someone” He taps at his chest in an offer of himself to you, “Use me. I don’t care if it’s because you need to get over him or just to get your anger out”

“I just want to show you how you deserved to be treated and cared for. With just pure intentions, no malicious intent”

“Jay-” You softly grabbed his hands but he reached up and engulfed your hands into his, the callous feel creasing over your skin as you felt the roughness of them

His thumb rubbed circles over your hand, his glassy eyes staring at you, not sure if it came from the overwhelming emotions or the dust particles flowing through the air seeping into his eyes, “Won’t you let me in?”

ꨄ︎

So many people for such a spontaneous celebration that you made last minute.

The small party was buzzing with light chatter. Your eyes looked around taking it all in. A few months passed down the line without a stop and it wasn’t to your surprise when Jay was standing at your doorstep with a wide smile engulfing you into a tight hug as he broke the news of his successful inheritance of his father’s company.

Choosing to celebrate this achievement for him even when he said a dinner with you would be more than enough—You wanted to give him more. You weren’t sure the drive behind wanting to create this party for him, masking it with a want to shed light on his grand accomplishment.

Yet, the gnawing at your stomach as your eyes scanned across the room only grew larger.

Jay smiled ear to ear as he accepted the countless praises, congratulations, and shaking hands that were offered to him. His cheeks hurt from how much he’s been smiling but it didn’t stop him from shifting his eyes to the side to see you standing with a kind smile. Regardless how many times he’s seen it, he feels like when he first met you.

This is it. Everything he’s longed for has come to life after waiting and dreaming for.

When his father clinked his glass with a fork to garner everyone’s attention, he looked away just for a second with knitted brows but his smile never left him. “Wonder what he’s going to say-“ He started to whisper expecting to see you next to him but instead found you gone

Moving his head back to scan around the room to find you but stopped his actions when his names were called out with a gleeful tone.

“Jay. Jongseong. My eldest son” His father raised his glass to him, “Even if you struggled along the way, it makes me proud of the man you have become”

“That you finally found your righteousness in the world—-where you’re meant to be. Stand for what sticks, not for what falls” Jay pressed his lips into a thin line as he awkwardly raised his glass to his father’s words

“But I have a surprise for you” His father looked around to everyone in the room, a deep laugh joining in his words, “Joining us after so long, finally deciding to show up today. Just unable to miss out on this wonderful day”

“Pleased to say my other son—Jongseong’s twin will like to say a few words after being gone for some time” His father introduced and the room fell silent

After moving to grab a camera to capture the supposed sweet moment, the artifact nearly slipped through when your eyes zeroed in and as if everything around you faded to dust and slowed down towards the walking male onto the stage.

Sunghoon looked different from the last time you saw him.

His hair swooped to the side, framing the shape of his forehead but leaving enough room to show it, his sharp eyes crinkled in the light as his jaw screwed shut managing to make it seem sharper than before, his cheekbones rising slightly hollow and high. The sleek black suit clinging to his body perfectly, outlining the now grown muscles.

The sharp eyes scanned across the room until they found yours. Remaining focused on you for a second longer, he turned away showcasing the smile you haven’t seen in a while—a sinister twist to it making your blood run cold.

“Bravo. May I just say bravo” Sunghoon raised the glass in hand, “A toast to my brother” His mellow voice called out loud enough for everyone’s attention to draw to the unexpected guest

“From your brother who’s always by your side”

Jay, unable to move from the spotlight shone on him by Sunghoon. Having to remain still and collected as all eyes were on them, his frantic eyes searched the crowd to see where he lost you before he looked back to Sunghoon whose grin grew larger.

“I am beyond impressed with what you have accomplished. There was always talks of who would take over of what but I’m glad that each of us gained something through the sacrifices of others”

“Hopefully you are able to cherish what others have done to make sure you reached this point in your life. A life where you may have regrets that only shape you further into whatever path you wish to follow”

“May you always satisfied Jongseong” Sunghoon raised his glass high looking around the crowded room as everyone mimicked the process

Your eyes burned from unblinking, afraid that if you did, he would disappear right before you. Sunghoon brought the glass to his lips, drinking in the bitter liquor to his tongue but as he threw his head back, his eyes never once moved from yours.

The glass coming into view provided the perfect coverage of his growing smirk.

Jay chose flight in the fight or flight mode he was in once he realized where his brother’s eyes were on. A rage filled in him and his body moved on its own but he halted when someone lightly tapped his shoulder.

Sorin smiled warmly at him as she softly called out his name and embraced him into a hug he didn't reciprocate, “Congratulations Jay!” Her voice pitched higher after finally be able to reconcile in person after so long

As rude as it may have sounded in his mind, he could care less of Sorin’s presence because she wasn’t you.

He tried to move his body in order to find you only to see the path clearing up where you stood watching Sunghoon approaching you, a sly smirk on his face once he was in front of you.

You stared at him in disbelief. Your heart churned in itself as your eyes raked over him—taking in his appearance and how you thought nothing changed while everything did in fact change. “W-What…” Your voice trailed off

He lightly chuckled, different from what you used to hear, it didn’t reach his eyes or show the row of teeth with the sharp ones peeking out. It was a polite and polished smile.

Swirling the empty glass at hand as he tilted his head, “Didn’t think I would miss out on my own twin brother’s celebration party did you?”

“What are you actually doing here Sunghoon?” Your voice dropped and his smirked rose as he lifted his hands up, placing the now empty glass on a passing tray

“You’ve out done yourself” He dejected the subjected as he looked around to the bustling party, “I can tell you made this party”

“Jay wouldn’t have made this much effort to celebrate his own success or would our dad do something small like this… This is Jongseong we’re talking about, the success that was always meant to be followed”

Your eyes glared at him. Unsure of the raging emotion binding up was for him showing up after being away for months or if the flutter in your heart was something else.

Attempting to walk away in search of Jay, Sunghoon’s hands grasped your shoulders. You silently hissed at the familiar feel resting on your skin, however uncontrollably your body melted into the contrasting warmth and cold touch on your skin.

Sunghoon’s lips tugged upwards as he stood behind you, his gold feather-like but still demanding of holding you in place. His thumb traces circles, “Guess some old-habits don’t die” He softly chuckled

Guiding you from where you stood to the perfect sight of where Jay interacted with someone you’re sure you didn’t invite. A frown grew on your face and he watched every twitch of your expression change.

Sorin places a hand at Jay’s arm with a fond smile on her face, eyes sparkling brightly as he gives a chuckle as he speaks, making her erupt into a fit of giggles—all while inching closer to him.

Your chin is lifted away and turned to look back at Sunghoon softly shaking his head, his lips smacking against his teeth, “Now I am positive… Old habits never die”

His words were more menacing and heavier than what they meant on the surface. Your stomach felt weird as you looked at him with wide eyes, he softly stroked your cheek, his gaze flickering to Jay and Sorin—seeing him pry her hand off his.

But what you didn’t know wouldn’t kill you.

Jay peers around the room and finally stumbles upon you and Sunghoon. He saw the way he held you, his chest pressing so close to your back as he held your chin. Jay fists grew tighter at his side as he tried to excuse him, but Sorin wouldn’t let him go just like that after so long.

“Do you hate him?” The fingers gripped deeper into your shoulders as the hold on your chin became tighter but still managing to pull your head to face him on your own

He could see the whirling in your mind from his words because why in the world would you hate Jay in the first place?

“Or is it me that you hate? Do you resent me? Fucking loath me for what I’ve done?”

You roughly push his digging fingers away, turning your body around with a muffled strain. His eyes flickered behind you and he engulfed your hands into his, your body melting away all tension immediately as your hand fell into his.

His smirk changed into a smile—the one you knew of, the one you used to receive.

He brought your hand up to his lips, softly grazing it with planting a soft kiss on top of it, “Talk to you soon… Princess” Hearing the weared out nickname again made your heart jump before falling into the pit of your stomach

Softly bringing your hand back to your side, he nodded his head walking away to disappear into the sea of people without another word but your eyes never left his fading figure once.

Suddenly, a hand on your shoulder spun you around. Jay’s worried face lightened up finally having you back with him, he cupped your jaw, turning it around as his lips shivered, “Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you right?”

You couldn’t even respond before he wrapped a hand around your wrist and dragged you towards the exit—the party already ending in his mind.

Unable to wrap your head to comprehend seeing Sunghoon in so long that you aimlessly followed. A foot followed after another as you reached closer to the exit. Still, turning your head and there you saw Sunghoon staring right at you, unmoving of the position you left him in.

The girl you had seen talking to Jay suddenly reappeared besides Sunghoon, shifting her eyes onto you and Jay’s fading figure. She mumbled something which he dismissed, Sunghoon remained his line of sight on your terror-filled face.

Even if you turned from Sunghoon all to turned behind, peering over your shoulder to see him. He smirked, stuffing his hand in his pockets as he watched you and Jay disappear.

Sunghoon remained lingering in your mind, regardless of the time passed and attempting to forget who tainted you. He will forever haunt you. He was always there in the back of your mind.

ᥫ᭡.

Watching the buildings passing through the window, the lights embedding in and lighting up the night with hope, dreams, happiness.

With any chance he gets, Jay looks over to you at every red light and anticipates something—anything from you. To his disappointment or fear still unsure of what it is, you remain silent with a turned away head focusing on the outside.

It was like that for the rest of the car ride until he parked in front of your place. Shifting the gear into park, he let out a silent sigh as he stared at the steering wheel. Fingers danced against it and he was going to step out of his car to open your door but stopped when you spoke, “Did you know?”

He whipped his head towards you in bewilderment, “Of course not. I didn’t know he was going to show up. I haven’t heard a single thing from him or about him ever since he left that night”

Your hands balled on your lap as you focused on the creasing on them. Holding back on your tongue, you lightly shook your head, “Then how did he know to show up? I made the party for you”

“My dad must’ve told him- I don’t know! But I swear I wasn’t the one that did” His hand reached out to hover your cheek, “Please baby-“

You swatted his hand away, turning to the door before pulling at the handle and letting yourself out. Jay watched in disbelief in the sweat you once sat in.

Quickly, he rushed out and slammed the door behind him chasing after you with soft calls of your name. It wasn’t until he pulled at your arm to turn you around once you were at your front door, “Please listen to me!”

“Don’t start, please” You softly pulled from his grip, “I can’t do this- Not right now”

“What is there to deal with? So he shows up and that’s it?”

“Who was she Jay, the one you were talking to after his speech, who was she?” He stays silent, his mouth opening and closing trying to form the proper sentence that didn’t expose much but also eased you

“She’s just an old friend” Through his words you knew there was more than just that and it shattered your heart, another vague coverup from the truth

You sighed before jamming your keys into your lock and twisted the doorknob. Shuffling behind you, Jay stood beside his breathing heavy and you could feel his eyes pouring into you

Roughly closing your eyes, you chuckled softly before shaking your head, “Not today Jay”

“So you’re just going to give up? When we were doing good? It’s all gone because he finally shows up?” He softly grasped at your arm to pull away from the doorknob

“Jay please-”

“No I’m sorry but we have to talk about this. We can’t just fall apart like that all because he decides to come back and ruin everything”

His mind filled with thoughts that he grew a headache, “You-You can’t go back to him. You just can’t!”

“Who said anything about going back to-”

“You can’t have the both of us!” Jay voices grew louder with each syllable and something shifted in your mind, he could tell in the way your eyes narrowed and a scowl formed in your face

A flash glistened over your eyes, your mouth tugging into a frown,"I never wanted both” Your voice never raised louder than how you were speaking, he understood your words perfectly, it’s the first coherent thing he’s ever heard

You opened your mouth to follow up but you closed your mouth to push open your door before closing it behind with no second glances back at him. You let out a shudder of a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

Jay stays outside of your door, his hand hovered over ready to knock but he stops midway as he drops his arm to his side. His shoulder slouched as he looked at the closed door.

His jaw clenched before fishing out his phone from his pocket, dialing the number after opening the contact and bringing his phone to press against his ear as he walked back to his car.

Taking one last glance to your place until stepping into his car when the phone line pinged.

“Jay?”

“What are you playing at Sorin?”

ꨄ︎

Go for what you want. Looking at the sticky note attached to your mirror, you caught a glimpse of your glooming self.

Your fingers traced over the sticky note, humming softly at the end seeing the small signature at the corner signaling Sunghoon's unerasable presence. The phone in hand pushed further into your palm as your grip grew tighter. Your jaw clenched before bringing your phone to your ear after one click.

Your palms felt sweaty and your heart hammered out of your chest while anticipation settles in until the first ring rushes out your speaker. Quickly pulling your phone away to hang up the call, you looked at your screen with heavy pants.

Sunghoon’s contact came back into frame as you felt a shiver run up your spine in realization.

While, the moment Sunghoon received the call he couldn’t help but laugh, noticing the abrupt end of it before he could even answer. His lips landed into an undeniable pout at the thought He knew you only needed one ring to know but he still wished you gave him the chance to answer.

His hand landed on both his hands reaching over to open the chat he’s refused to look at for months but the slam of the door stopped him. He looked up but utterly gasped when he saw a fist swinging his way.

Barely being able to miss the punch, he turned around to stumble over his feet with haste only to see Jay heaving in anger.

“You’re a monster Sunghoon”

He laughed when the words left his twin brother’s mouth, a genuine stomach laugh rumbling from deep within his stomach all while he straightened out his folded upright, he knitted his eyebrows together with a smile creeping on his face.

He used to believe he was no monster, simply existenting with the fact of being overlooked by the Jay shaped shadow that haunted his life, that he wanted to escape from but things have changed.

Time apart from you made him quickly realize he was no good person from the moment he decided to chase after you. He comes to accept that he’s been a monster from the very start.

“And you’re some saint?” He snorted, “A god that she’s supposed to look up to for salvation?”

“Give me a break Jay”

“Does it not mean anything to you?!” Jay yelled, shaking Sunghoon’s collar in a rough manner once his hands clasped at it, “Leave us alone! Why can’t you just let her be?” Jay’s voice fell lowers earning a scoff from his brother

Sunghoon laughed, throwing his head back, the chuckle rumbling his chest in a warm manner making his cheeks hurt from how much he was laughing. “Let her be? She will never be free if she’s with you” He emphasized the end of his sentence

“Don’t you realize that you’re like some parasite between us? Always taking and taking what isn’t yours”

Jay’s hand loosened around Sunghoon’s shirt staring at his brother wide eyed, “She never needed saving from me but now with you in your life, I think she can finally realize she needs saving from you”

“You’re the one that needs to realize what you’re doing. You’re making her succumb and confide in you for the sake of what?”

Sunghoon tilted his head as he peered Jay off, “Love? True love?” He darkly laughed at his own words, “Please”

“Show some compassion Sunghoon” Jay’s word were heavy on his tongue but he could feel the glare his brother gave him

“Because you showed me compassion?” Sunghoon gripped Jay’s wrist and pushed him off, scoffing at the antics his brother was throwing

“You don’t get to have her Jay” He roughly shook his head, “You don’t get it through that thick skull of yours that you can’t have her”

Jay scoffed, his finger reaching to push against his chest, “That makes you a hypocrite you know”

He could feel the question gaze Sunghoon sent him but Jay only smirked before retreating his hand away, “Because if she can’t be with me? What makes you so worthy of being with her?”

“You don’t get to want her Sunghoon” Jay laughed blissfully unaware of the glint shimmering over his brother’s eyes once he heard the follow up words, ”She was never yours to begin with”

And how sure of that, are you Jongseong?

・・・・・

There was a knock at your door that stumped you in your tracks. Eyebrows creased in the middle releasing it almost instantly as you shook your head, choosing to walk over to your front door before hastily unlocking and opening it.

“Jay I thought we agreed on space” Your sighed but stopped once you realized, you had mistaken it for the wrong brother

Your body stunned at the sight of Sunghoon looking around until the sounds of his brother’s name came from your mouth, “Wrong brother, try again” He heartily joked and you felt the twist inside of you

“I- What are you doing here?” You asked, the grip on your door tighter as he watched how you didn’t laugh as his poor joke

“I don’t mean to intrude. I just figured after we met at the party after not seeing each other for months, I just thought it was appropriate to finally return your stuff back” He smiled showing the rows of teeth but looking over at him and he empty handed

“Can I come in?” And instead of waiting for a response, he just maneuvered his way past and into your place without another word uttered

You blinked harshly, unable to get a word out, closing the door behind him as your feet moved quickly to trail after him.

“I don’t remember leaving- You aren’t holding anything” You pointed out noticing the lack of bulked items at hand but he only looked around your place with glassy eyes

“Nothing has changed” He muttered under his breath more for himself but you managed to hear him loud and clear

“Sunghoon” You sternly called out his name and instead of responding his back turned around and you were greeted with his sweet smile as his hand extended out and grazed across your wall

“How are you?” The simple question felt more than just curiosity

You softly gulped unmoving your eyes from him, “Good” Choosing only to respond with nothing more than just one syllable, even if it may not be a direct reflection of you right now

“Really?” Sunghoon’s voice was soft, “Ahh” He faintly scoffed, “Why does it annoy me so much to hear that you’re doing okay”

Your mouth fell open as you glanced around his face—searching for a sign of unfaithfulness in his words but they were genuine. Sunghoon’s words were raw and true mimicking the tone of voice.

“You know I tried to forget about you, I really did” He looked to your floor as if they were the more interesting item in your place even though he knew that you stand right in front of him—where he actually wanted to look

“It was pointless obviously”

“And how do you know that?” Your reply made him breath through his nose

”Because I wouldn’t be standing here right now if I was. Plus how could I forget you? You haunt me every waking moment”

“I can’t forget you no matter how hard I try. Scrubbed at my skin during every shower trying to get your touch off my skin after practically living in the gym with hopes of burning you out of me” Sunghoon sucked in a breath as his voice grew more agitated

“But as I lay awake at night no matter where I am, I dream about you. You were always there. Your eyes, smile, laughter, your terrible attempted jokes, everything that was connected to you was burned into my mind—forced to accustom to the lack of you even though I had you”

“Because we were together-“

You stepped in and interrupted, “No we weren’t Sunghoon” Your voice defeated, “It-It was fake- What we were was just some joke”

He shook his head violently, “No. It wasn’t a joke. It was real” Sunghoon cut you off before taking a step towards you, “It was far too real for us to be just labeled as friends, tutors or acquaintances or whatever you want to call us”

“We were real” His tone snappy and sharp that pierced your skin into your heart, “I took a step back- I let you mess around with Jongseong for a while so that you can feel comfortable without my presence there because I wanted you to realize”

“And realize what exactly”

“That I don’t need you anymore? That for once in my life I could be desired without ulterior motives?” The words growing heavier on your tongue as it weighed your heart down, “Do you even regret what you did? Did you have fun making me out as some kind of fool”

Your hand rose up to harshly rub your head, “I find it very hard to believe that you ever cared about me. Did you even love-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence” His voice dropped to a lower register cutting you off as he glared at you causing you to laugh at him

“Why not? Because it hurts to face the truth? You were so stuck up on focusing on something that never meant to involve me and yet, you dragged me dead center into your petty feud”

“That’s what you think this is? That I’m still trying to get back at him?” He knitted his brows to crease in the middle. He shook his head with the smile that twisted your heart, “No princess… I moved on from that”

You glared at him with a loud scoff before shaking your head. “If you just came here to pester my life and not return anything, get out” You turned a heel unwavering in your steps, trying to maintain your peace from slipping

“Can I use your bathroom before I go then?” His voice returned to the soft tone stopping you in your step

Slowly peeking over your shoulder, you saw him standing there, the glossiness of his eyes grown from what they were in the beginning. There was a moment of silence where neither of you said anything. His body shivered with anticipation at your words.

“You know where it is” You responded before turning back and walking past him to somewhere in your place

His eyes watched your moving figure until it disappeared from sigh around the corner, Moving the plush of his lips around for a second before retreating down the hall where your bedroom and bathroom lay.

You stared at nothing as the headache grew by the second. Fluttering your eyes closed as you took heavy breaths to regulate yourself to at least a somewhat regular pace.

Shivering at the thought of Sunghoon’s face back in your head even when you tried to push him, he returned.

Like a moth to a flame. Which one was who was still unclear.

You weren’t sure of how much time actually passed but it felt like an eternity ever since he went to the bathroom. Opening your eyes, your vision splotchy for a moment as you tried to get accustomed to the light.

Blinking harshly, you turn your body around in search of Sunghoon however, the moment you reach where the bathroom door was supposed to be locked—It was wide open with no signs of him ever in there. You whipped your head around until you saw your bedroom door ajar slightly.

Your feet moving faster than you could register, you burst through into your room, eyes quickly rummaged through until it spotted Sunghoon right in front of your mirror. His finger is tracing over the sticky note you’ve refused to take down for some reason.

His eyes looked through the mirror to see you staring wide-eyed at him. “You never got rid of it” Your body was rigid when he turned around and looked at you with a different look in his eyes

Knowing he was waiting for a response, you frowned, “I thought you were going to the bathroom and then leaving”

The corner of his lip rose up so slightly that if you weren’t paying attention, you would’ve missed it. He didn’t respond to your statement like how you didn’t respond to his, his eyes raked over you before catching your eyes with his.

You gulped down your hammering heart, “Don’t look at me with those eyes”

“What eyes?” Sunghoon softly replied, the same look in bjs eyes unwavering

You stayed silent breaking the eye contact for what it was, shutting them tightly attempting to rid the vision of his eyes that looked past and into your soul, able and more than willing to read those thoughts you would never voice out.

“Those eyes” He hummed at you, tilting his head to the side

His hum was loud when it rumbled out of him, you held your breath softly shifting your gaze from the floor to him. He stood closer to you, his face near inches away from your with a slight frown tugging on his face, “I mean you are fucking my brother…” Your eyes moved in between his, “I think I get to feel a little bit of resentment”

You swallowed down the forming lodge in your throat, “Do you?”

He stayed silent for a moment, his breath fanning over yours as he stared deeply into your eyes, searching and finding the thoughts he knew were reserved for only him, “No”

Your eyes softened in response to his words, your shaky breath released as you could feel his head leaning in closer. You tried to pull yourself away—to rid yourself from falling into him wishing to be strong, after all preparation to see him again.

Yet, his arm wrapped at your waist and all rationality bolted out the window, "You want to be mine" It was a statement rather than a question that you didn’t try to oppose

"You've always wanted to be mine, haven't you?” It went through your ear and stayed in your mind, your hands squished in between your bodies weakly holding at his collar as he grew closer, "Don’t worry because with no doubt in my mind you were mine"

Sunghooon’s lips hovered over your now, "You belong with me princess" Those were the last words he said before engulfing your lips with his

His heart nearly hammered out of his chest as his body instinctively melted into it. Forced to go so long without you was torture—having to know that Jay had you the way he used to.

Moving in harmony, your hands gripped tighter at his collar. Cliche as it may sound in your mind, the once roaring raging head finally went silent. Sunghoon’s hand grabbed at your shaky ones, prying your hand to let go and once he felt you loosen your hold, he wrapped them around his neck before holding your waist again.

He felt how your body pressed into his, how your hands consciously tangled into his hair groaning at the rakes of it slotting through the crevice in between each finger, your nails scratching softly at his head like how you knew he liked it.

His body pushed back, rendering you to the plush of the mattress having the sheets wrinkling at the new edition of the longing weight it’s missed. Placing eager kisses, he realizes he was no better than a smitten man.

“Do I want to know what you and him have done?” He darkly hummed against your neck, his tightening hand gripping at your waist, “Too focused to think about me because you were with him?”

”Ever lead him to this very bed just like how you did to me?” You eagerly shook your head no, your mouth opening to respond but choked up when he continued to speak, “Or were you always too busy thinking about me?” Freezing at the last question, he smirked at your reaction

The familiar plush of his lips gathered at your skin as he peckered at the unblemished skin, the emptiness nearly sank his heart—seeing what he has missed these past months, “You’re just as beautiful as the day I left you”

Your hazy mind cleared instantly as eyes shot up to see him already looking back. Lips parting softly, letting out the shiver before leaning in to meet halfway of his leaning figure.

A hum rubbles out as you swallow it into your mouth. The gripping hand at your waist loosened before rubbing up and down your side as he engulfed your mind with him. Instead of a strong and needful kiss, it was endearing and in fact loving.

Squishing your hands in between your bodies, you cup at his jaw, tracing over the outline of it. The soft grumbles got lost in the silence as he rested his arms at each side of your head, lightly acknowledging on how you shifted, your legs prying open on their own to invite him to slot in between.

However, he pulled away with a shake of his head. Eyes fluttering open to see the deep stare into one another. “No…” Breathlessly he spoke gulping down the air that filled his lungs, “Show me that you want me”

”Prove that it’s always been me” He pleaded, true undertone now fully blaring into your ears creeping into your mind until you focused and registered

Your heart hammered at your chest that you were sure he could hear it as a faint smirk ghosted his face. Instead of properly responding, your body moved on its own.

Actions speaking louder than any word that could be uttered.

Grasping his shoulders before landing him onto his back, the soft pillowing holding his head, lifting yourself off to the side, he watched you. The shaky hands grabbing to his pants, your eyes looking at him for permission. “Go on” He nodded at you

Without having to be told twice, your hands traced over his belt, the touch of the frame metal before unbuckling it, eyes remaining trained at the unbuttoned trousers while your hands slid down the zipper. Prying open the material, seeing his boxers peeking out but shifted on how his hips lifted to help drag down his pants.

Pulling down the material watching him kick it somewhere to your floor as you mimicked his actions. Your hands worked with yours until you pulled off your own pants, letting them land wherever they did on the floor as well. His hands reached out for you, tugging you towards him.

Allowing your body to be guided, you straddled his lap focusing on the roaming hands on you that pulled you intoxicatingly into a mist that surrounded the two of you until he grabbed your nape and pulled your head down.

A hand on your hips while the other allowed it’s finger to trace circle on your neck, enjoying the way you tilted your head to deepened to kiss further, “I’ve missed you” He weakly mutters in between kisses

“I know… I did too” You hummed, your hips rocking with the help of his hand

Groaning softly at the friction. The sensation of your clothed core rubbing against his hard on made him dizzy. The only thing that stopped him from entering you was the thin fabric of your undergarments. Your head landed in the crook of his neck, the crevice in between, allowing you to messily press your lips on. “Never asked how you were” You mumbled against his skin

Too engrossed in the way, the damp forming not only in his but on your underwear was nearly unbearable to ignore. Bottom lip jutted out, enjoying the long strides you took rubbing yourself on him, “How were you Hoonie?”

The mention of the name he hasn’t heard of washed any initial thought away as he tilted his head to the side just enough. Your pulled away head now looked at him with glistening eyes. He was sure he copied your look—possibly looked even worse than how you did.

Instead of shying away, he smiled softly. “I think you can imagine I was. You already heard only a quarter of what I was doing without you”

“But you cleaned up nicely…”

“I had to. I was seeing you again after all this time” The words struck the string that held your heart up

And still, it was pointless when another planted drag of a kiss was planted. Your eyes fluttering close instantly as the rock of your lower body restarted with a feverish motive.

“I need to feel you princess- I can’t go on like this anymore” The pitiful way he sounded as you determined the beginning, “Need you to prove your words, just how much did you miss me?”

With an unexpected haste, lifting your hips just enough for his fingers to wrap around the side of your parties, “Please Hoonie” You slowly murmur as he dragged them, your glistening entrance coming back into his view

The slinging of them hanging from your leg before you fully peeled them off, Sunghoon’s eyes remained trained of the flesh he had been denied for months, patiently waiting for the day until you found your way back to him.

You palmed through the evident erection building up to his full size as his head leaned back, forgetting the way your hands felt on him. “Don’t be a tease either” Tone low like a growl being held back

You giggled at it, having your hands grip at his boxers tugging at the fabric until he began to separate from his body, the imprint of his length clinging onto the material waiting to spring out. In all its glory, his leaking self slapped against his body was a splat.

Crinkling your face for a second while a smile formed on it, pulling away at the material until you allowed his feet to kick them off.

Seeing him like this again made your chest tighten before hallowing into itself. The months leading up to this moment didn’t compare to the lifetime you bore without him in but even still, you leaned in molding your mouth onto his without a word.

Sunghoon easily accepted his kiss, the dip of your bed shifting as he could feel the heat radiating off your body and hovering over him. His eyes screwed tighter together, not allowing himself to wake from this dream.

However, the contact of you landing on him, he hisses against your lips as you let go of them with a shaky breath. The soak essentially seeped on his own length, covering himself with your essence. But, it wasn’t enough—it would never be enough.

His hand threaded down, grabbing the base of his cock before aligning it with your entrance by the time you sank down to rub down, the tip of it teased in making you clench and hiss at the intrusion. “Shit” He called out as he eased into your warmth

“I’ve missed you so much” He gritted through his teeth, relishing in the way your walls spasmed taking in the inches he was putting into you, “You don’t have any idea”

You weakly shook your head, your body toppling over his as your arms snaked near his head, “Yo-you don’t have any idea” Rebutting his statement—deeming it untrue only caused his heart to flutter harsher in his chest

The palpitations grew worse once he bottomed out. You shivered on top of him as his hand glided on your back, “Doing so good for me princess, I’m right here with you”

How could you deny it? Well easy, you couldn’t.

Your body faltered in a rock focusing on how he stretched you out, how easily he slipped into you like no time had passed. Sunghoon murmured into the shell of your ear causing the goosebumps to rise, “Fuck yourself on me baby”

Your eyes clamped down moving your hips with a little more force, you bit your lips to hold back the noise daring to sleep but Sunghoon’s nails gripped at your skin, “Don’t deprive me- Let me hear you” He groaned at how you clenched accepting him

“Good girl” His whispered into your ear as he planted wet kisses onto the side of your face, his arms wrapping around you as his body and yours melt into one

Moving your head to land his lips onto yours as you continued to push his length out of you before pulling it back in with the suck of your cunt, fluids slipping from your mouth as you messily kissed at each other. Mouth hanging open taking in the breaths poured into each other’s before reconnecting together.

Pulling at your bottom lip, he remained still under you while you moved your body up and down his erection, memorizing his tip pressing and poking at your insides, the past burn reviving from the depths of your brain where it was stored away, “Sucking me so good. Like you’ve been waiting for this” He chuckled in between breaths

You nodded your head at the words, “I have” You brokenly whined out

“Were you saving yourself for me? Until I came back to you and gave you what you wanted, mhm?” You could feel the smirk radiating off of him making you bury your head into the space between his neck and shoulder

“Knew that I was the only one that could give you what you wanted” The rumbled of his words laid heavy on your heart, “Keep going for me” His hands grabbed at your lower half, squishing the flesh in his hand, helping your weakened movements

You lifted your head up, resting your forehead with his as you weakly chuckled. Eyes bored into each other, reflecting the same depth and glint that could never be replaced or fizzled out regardless of the time passed. The base of your ass meeting his pelvis with growing harder thrust had you squealing, but he continued to fuck up into you.

Body shaking with thrust he sent, he was set on perfecting the mold of him inside of you—yet, it didn’t take much effort. You had already done that for him.

“Hoonie” You called out for him as he found a pace that pistoned himself deeper into you, loving how you shaped around the stretch he provided

Each thrust was calculated and thought through. Focusing how to press deeper into the warmth you provided. Dragging himself leaving his tip at the clenching hole making you wail a broken whine before gasping when he slammed back in. You tried to match the pace on your own however, Sunghoon ran a hand over your back.

“I got you princess. Let me take care of you” He hummed into the shell of your ear and without being told again you let your body rest onto his front

His fingers digging into the flesh of your bum, spreading it to the side focusing on the slipping of his cock inside of you. His grunts grow louder at the sound of obscenity filling your room—an emotion taking over him.

Clouded judgment, solemnly focusing on your clenching self, his tips peeking into your cervix that made you moan directly into his ear as he repeatedly hit at it. The grind of your body rocking with his as your swollen bud jumped at the edge, with the delicate ramming inside of you, fingers dug into his shoulder.

“I’m going to-” Sunghoon immediately hushed in your ear holding you closer to him

“Let go for me baby… Come for me”

Simple words leading to your body responding, your hole clenching harder around his shaft that his movements faltered from the previous calculations. Focusing at how your breathlessly moans and shivers landed for his ear to hear, unable to let you go, his arm flushed you even more into him if possible.

Low groans filling your ears as his thrust became sloppy, the fluid leaking out of your soaping entrance coating him over with it, nearly causing him to slip out before he eased back into the confinement you provided for him

“Kiss me” The feel of his hand softly trailing at your neck, feeling the bareness of it making a frown plaster onto his face, “Kiss me right now” He pulled your head up to face him

Tears brimmed over your eyes, rimming around daring to spill but not wanting to test him any further. Holding back what has been bubbling within you, all frustration pouring out. You smashed your lips onto his.

His working body continued as he pressed at your head to flushes your lips even harder onto his. Your eyes screwed shut, the brinks of your tears falling onto his cheek and glided down to his chin but he gulped down every noise you made.

Holding tightly onto him as weakly breathed through your nose until you sucked in a shiver as your body jolted up with the harsh slow thrust. Sunghoon could feel your walls tightening around him as he parted for you to hear your muffled moans loud and clear.

Resting your forehead harshly onto his as you pant with the occasional hissed when the slowed down picked up in slight pressure before one final press deep inside of you as he stilled his movements and the warmth engulfed your insides, painting them white of you.

The feel of his cum seeping into your velvet walls as he remained in you. Your body instinctively gripping him to suck in any and all that seeped out of him. His low groans mix with your breathless pants as the two collect air to fill your lungs. The moment was short lived as you bursted into a fit of pitiful giggles as he followed in tail with your actions.

”Such a good girl for taking everything”

“I hate you” You shook your head at the tease but your tone was light and feathery as you adjusted yourself quietly mumbling more under your breath which didn’t go unnoticed by him

As you shifted in place, weakly laying on his chest as you felt your body melt down into his as he hugged you, his head rested on top of yours. The soft rubs over your arms as he holds your shivering body. Remaining having his cock buried in you, plugging his cum from seeping out, he smiled—a real genuine smile. “I’m sure you do”

“But I could never hate you” You closed your eyes with a heavy pant listening to his words

“Never?” You meek out feeling the shake of his head from you but to his displeasure he heard you heavily sigh, feeling you rub your cheek against his body

Unaware to him a tug of your lips pulled it towards, “Are you mad- I mean were you ever mad at me?”

The question hung in the air for a moment, the only thing filling your room being the soft breaths leaving you. Your ear pressed against his chest that you could hear the rapid pulse beating faster. Worried seemed to gnaw at your stomach as your eyes frantically moved around and just as you were going to push yourself up from him.

Sunghoon stopped you before you could, his chin digging on top of your head as his grip around you tightened. The pump of his heart filled your ear again as you could hear the vibration of his voice coming out

“Never. You’re my girl”

Your face immediately responds as you smile softly, a breath you didn’t know you were holding let out. Aware that Sunghoon could feel the harsh thump beating out of your chest but you didn’t care.

You hum in response, not any more words necessarily for the moment. Your mind and body clicking into the fog of your head the tiredness evident in your voice as he softly chuckled, the burn of his finger tips scarcely touching your skin leaving fire in its wake as he pressed a kiss onto your head

“You can rest now… I’m not leaving your side ever again”

ᥫ᭡.

The soft chirps of the birds muffled from the outside, the blinding lights shining in as you and Sunghoon face each other with a warm smile. He leaned forward but you jerked away before he could land his kiss.

His dark chuckled made your own smile grow, but he smiled inching closer to you before blowing air against your neck. You jerked away and scowled as you tried to swat him away but stopped when he placed a soft peck on your skin, “I’m going to shower, care to join me?”

“And waste my water? You’re funny” You laughed before shaking your head

He smirked before running a hand over your arm, the glint of his eyes never leaving as he looked at you, “I’ll behave”

“You promise?” You looked at him in the corner of your eyes with a raised brow

Now here with Sunghoon, no thoughts were in your head besides who was in front of you. You’ve decided, long ago—from the very beginning. Stepping a foot closer to Sunghoon, your hand pushing his opening arms as you landed straight into his arms wrapping around you as you placed your lips on his.

He sheepishly smirked, “I promise to be quick” Swiftly after his light words, he let go of you before disappearing into the hall

You bit back a smile as you watched his fading figure away. Your fingers ran over your lip before your smile grew brighter, reaching your eyes.

There was a point, a line that blurred what you and Sunghoon were. Yet, you were far past the line of the beginning, middle of what this was. No longer looking back, dwelling on things out of your control, you’ve chosen, finalizing your decision—disregarding what is considered right or wrong.

Wondering why you should wait any longer before making you and Sunghoon one—they way you knew it meant to be. You were beyond the point of return.

Biting back the growing smile, you were going to move back to your room to wait for his return but stopped upon hearing a glide of paper. The sound of water running from your shower nearly drowned it out before you could notice it. You turned around to see an envelope laying on the floor.

Brows furrowed as you stepped towards and softly picked up the unaddressed envelope. Your lips tugged down, turning it around and ripping the seal before picking out the folded paper within. Your eyes immediately skimmed through the handwritten letter before properly reading it

‘to my dearest,

You were the first (only) person I have felt ever something like this for. Of course, I know how I did everything wrong but I wanted you to Understand what I was doing after all this waiting and wondering.

But I know it doesn’t make myself look any better but love is just Elegant, warm and almost as beautiful as you. it should come from Longing—yearning, that’s what love is-true love. I wanted to be the One to show you that but instead I made it worse. I know that now Nothing in this damn world can show even the sliver of just how Grateful I am for even being given the chance to prove myself to you.

While it seems like you might have made your choice, please consider It to your best interest to take a step back and look at everything. from The very beginning to now—to evaluate everything and move past. Heaven knows I won't give up, not when I know what it’s like.

More than ever, I finally realize what I want in my life and through Everything I don't regret anything in the slightest. I would do it again.

String me along, break my heart if you want. it’s always been yours to Enjoy and destroy. you’ll forever be smeared in my soul and i know Everything we’ve been through, part of you saw what it be like.

You realized love doesn’t have to be what you experienced it as, Occasionally yes it can be diabolical but it doesn’t always mean Undergoing the terror lies, we can make it however you want it.

Sometimes looking back on us I wonder if I was just crazy for thinking Of there being something between us but given the chance to Observe and see everything between us I know there was more. Never in a billion years would I want to give you false hope.

Believe me, I would do anything in this world to prove that you. Anyone can go against me and say otherwise but I know it that it Begs for the thrill of being even near you. Not sure of the pure Yearning it has because now I am forever ruined by you.

sincerely yours,

p.js

p.s- reread the letter and look at the first letter of each line’

The P followed by the J and lastly the S. Park Jongseong. As your eyes followed through the last sentence written, nitpicking every sentence and the first letter they had.

Your eyes grew wider each second as all being felt personally sucked and drained out when you looked back to read the postscript written at the bottom of the paper–followed by a heavy shaky breath as three words stood out more than anything in the letter.

‘See you soon’

——

You belong to me (previous) — Wicked games (next)

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[filthygalli]

Hush

Fem!Reader x Hwang In-Ho

Warnings: MDNI18+, Oral (F receiving), Fingering, Pussy Eating, Overstimulation, SoftDom! In-Ho, Secretive In-Ho, Mentions of Gunshot wound, Light Alcohol consumption, No usage of Y/N (but readers getting called as "Sweetheart" and "Darling"), Not proofread, Let me know if I missed anything! 🖤

Word Count: 1,686

Author's Note: I was so sleepy and I zoned out with this idea, I had the urge to write it because I'm afraid if I sleep it'll be gone by the time I wake up, so I apologize if there's spelling and grammar mistakes!

© Pictures are from: I come by the rain (2009)

You've been married to In-Ho for 3 years. You've known him since you were kids, he's a dominant man but he would worship the ground you walk on, give you expensive things, treat you romantically without you noticing it. That's probably the main reason why you married him.

For over 3 years of marriage, you still don't know what's his work, he always tell you that he's just going out for a ‘business trip’ that he'll be gone for 7 days, you begged for him to tell you what's his work about—but he's just changing the subject quickly, avoiding the question about his work. You let it pass every time though, maybe it's something that you don't need to know, something that it's private—but you're worried, what if something bad happens to him during that ‘business trip'? Though, when he's away he always call you and send you messages when he can, one time you told him you missed him and you need him that you cried on the phone while begging for him to come home, In-Ho's heart ache at the sound on your voice breaking through the line on the phone, sometimes he hates himself from not telling you the truth about what he do, on who he really is…but for the sake of your safety—he choose not to.

He went straight home and cuddled up with you on your shared bed, whispering sweet nothings to your ear as you lay your head on his chest, his breathing calms you down—the way his chest would slowly rise up and down, matching the pace of your breathing, you relaxed at the soft hum of his voice as he tells you that he's sorry for leaving you for almost 3 days, that he'll take you out tomorrow to go and shopping and eat at one of your favorite restaurants in Italy.

But sometimes, you just can't help but ask In-Ho about it, even though you know he'll avoid the question, you wanted to know the truth.

“Sweetheart, I wish I could tell you in detail, but even if I did…you won't understand.” He said, sitting on the leather sofa, a whiskey in his left hand while looking up at you, “It's just…I'm worried,” you sat down beside him, “Last time you went home…you had a wound on your shoulder,” In-Ho clenched his jaw tightly, recalling the incident between him and his brother Jun-Ho, he sighed softly, eyeing you, “I know sweetheart, but I promise I'm ok, nothing to worry about.” he sets down the glass of whiskey on the coffee table as He assured you, he gave you a kiss on top of your forehead, You smiled up at him, “I love you, In-Ho.” You said kissing him, the kiss was gentle and delicate, you liked it when he kiss you like this—taking his time with you, making you take control of him if you want to, his hands travelled up to your waist as he picks you up to sit on his lap, he pulls away slowly, “I love you too, Sweetheart.” He said as he trails down kisses on your jaw all the way down to your neck, you whimper, “In-Ho…” you start to feel a familiar sensation between your thighs, “I know, sweetheart…let me take care of you, hmm?” you nodded eagerly, In-Ho chuckled at your response. He hooked his finger on the strap of your shirt, pulling it down slowly revealing your bare chest to him, “You look so beautiful like this, sweetheart,” he said as he plants kisses on your chest, sucking the exposed skin—leaving reddish marks on it, you whined, “In-Ho…please–” you begged as you looked down on him, still sucking your skin, he looked up, dark brown eyes turned up at you, he trails his warm tongue on your nipple, you moaned as he started sucking it gently. In-Ho can feel himself getting hard, he wants to fuck you right here, right now, but he wants to push you first, to make you feel good.

He released his mouth on your nipple with a loud pop, his saliva glistened on your nipple, “Tell me what you want sweetheart.” He said gripping your neck lightly, not too much to hurt you, “Please.. In-Ho,” you begged, tears started to prickle on the corner of your eye, “Please what, sweetheart?” He said reaching through your cheek to wipe your eyes using his thumb, “Fuck me, please, In-Ho…” you once again begged as In-Ho chuckled, “Want me to fuck you, huh, sweetheart?” He said cupping your chin to look down at him, you didn't say anything and just gave him a whinny look, “Need your words sweetheart,” he said giving you a smirk, “Want you to fuck me, Please In-Ho…” “As you wish, sweetheart.” He said as he lays you down softly on the sofa, he motioned you to lift your hips as he pulls down your shorts, revealing you in your undies, he leans down and trails kisses on your thighs, licking your skin, you whimper as In-Ho chuckled, the vibration of his chuckle sends shivers down on your spine, “Please…” you cried out, “Patience is a virtue, Darling.” He whispered on your skin, his breath feels hot on your skin, you want him to touch you, to fuck you to put you on your place, He hooked his index fingers on the waist band of your undies—exposing your bare cunt Infront of his face, “So wet for me, Sweetheart.” He said as he traced his middle finger on the slit of your pussy—earning a whimper from you, He leaner in as you felt his warm breath on your aching cunt, “In-Ho…please–want you,” your hips jerked up as he looks at you, he glared at you, your breath hitched as he stick his tongue out slightly licking your clit, teasing you as he smirk, “Mmm–” you mumbled, lips pressed together, “Wanna hear your voice, sweetheart, let me hear them.” He said in between kisses on your pussy, You moaned, When In-Ho heard your pornographic moans he eats your pussy like a starved man—slurping every juices that your pussy could offer him, sucking the bundle of nerves, biting the soft skin as your eyes rolled back from the back of your head, you arch your back—gripping your hands on the leather couch as you moaned his name like a broken record, He continues to eat you while looking at you, he reached for your hand that's grabbing the leather couch, softly putting it on his hair, your grabbed his hair tightly—pushing him down on your cunt—you want more, you want more of him, He flicks his tongue faster as he slides his index finger inside your pussy, “Fuck–In-Ho!” You moaned as he curled his fingers inside you, he smirked at the sound of you, priding himself that he could make a mess out of you by just doing this, making you beg for more till you break—of course he will keep giving you more till you can't cum anymore, he'll make you writhe against his touch, make you feel sore, he'll make you unable to walk for days as he pride himself for eating you out and making you cum and squirt all over his face. You started to feel a familiar sensation in your stomach as In-Ho continuously flicked his tongue on your aching clit, you're so gonna be sore for days you'll be staying in bed and call In-Ho for help to stand up, he hasn't fucked you yet and you feel worned out, what more if he rammed his thick cock inside your pussy? He'll rip you apart, not that you don't mind though, you're going to take it like a good girl. His good girl.

“In-Ho…” you cried out, In-Ho felt your pussy clenched around his index finger, he knows you're about to cum and he'll give it to you no matter what. “I know sweetheart, cum for me, Be a good girl and cum on my face,” he said in between a flick of his tongue as his husky voice sent shivers down your spine “ruin my face with your sweet juices, squirt on my face like a damn fountain.”

his voice soft but demanding, you whimpered at his words as you felt him go crazy on your clit, he added a second finger inside you, making you feel full of him already, he pumped his thick fingers inside and out of you, shoving it harshly—hitting every spot inside of you as you shivered and moan his name, “In-Ho!” Is the last thing you screamed as you squirt your juices on In-Ho's face, he hurriedly opened his mouth and slurped everything he could get, not wasting a drop as he repeatedly fuck's you with his tongue, you felt so overstimulated, it's all too much, but you need In-Ho inside of you, you want him badly.

“Stop–I can't! Too much!” you breathe out, “Want you.. inside ah!” You heard him chuckled darkly, “Sweetheart,” he said as he brought up his face a little, his chin and cheeks glistened with your juices, he licked his lips before opening his mouth to talk to you, “Let me make it up to you for those days that I'm gone.” He said as he sat up, unbuckling his belt—not breaking an eye contact with you, you moaned at the sight of him; it always excite you when he does this, it's simple yet so fucking hot and sexy, “I'll make sure you'll forget to ask that damn question,” he said as he threw his pants on the floor revealing his cock, he lined it up on your entrance, gathering some of your juices to use it as a lube for his cock, pre-cum beaded on his tip as he slapped the tip of his cock on your now swollen clit, “The only thing you'll remember is this moment, while I fuck you senselessly with my cock, I'll pump you full with my cum that you'll be leaking for days that I'm gone, You'll only remember how I fuck this pretty cunt of yours.”

Author's Note: I hope you like this one, Its longer than what i've imagined. Anyways, Let me know if you want a part 2 of this one, Thank you for the support!

< Squid Game Masterlist I Main MasterList >

[lazysoulwriter]

Soft for You - Rafe Cameron!

requests are still open! - 💌

“For the last time, Rafe is not going to kill me.”

The words leave your mouth so naturally, like it’s a daily routine at this point. Your friends just give you that same look—half amusement, half concern—and shake their heads.

“Okay, but if you end up missing, we’re not gonna be surprised,” JJ says, leaning back against the couch.

“Not funny.” You cross your arms.

“I mean,” Kie shrugs, “He has a reputation, you know?”

“A reputation that doesn’t apply to me,” you insist. “He’s different when it’s just us.”

Pope lets out a chuckle. “Sure, sure. An angel, right?”

“Exactly,” you say, unfazed. “He’s my angel.”

It’s a quiet afternoon at Rafe’s house, the kind you love the most. With his dad gone and Sarah never around, it’s practically yours and his now—a big, empty house just for the two of you.

You’re curled up on the couch when he walks in, shirt slightly unbuttoned, hair still damp from his shower. His face softens immediately when he sees you.

“Babyyy,” he hums, making his way over.

You giggle, pulling him down beside you. “Rafe, don’t call me that in that voice.”

“What voice?” he teases, nuzzling his nose against yours.

“That baby voice,” you laugh.

“But you love it,” he grins, kissing your cheek.

And you do. As much as you pretend to hate it, the way he softens around you, the way his voice gets all sweet and playful, makes your heart flutter every time.

“Missed you,” he murmurs, pulling you onto his lap.

“You saw me this morning,” you remind him.

“Doesn’t matter. Missed you anyway.”

You melt against him, fingers tracing lazy patterns on his jaw. His arms wrap around you tightly, like he never wants to let go. You kiss him, slow and sweet, feeling him smile against your lips.

“How do you always do this to me?” he whispers.

“Do what?”

“Make me wanna be soft,” he says, resting his forehead against yours.

You giggle, cupping his face. “Maybe because you are soft. For me, at least.”

He sighs, pressing another lingering kiss to your lips.

The afternoon passes in a blur of whispered words and shared smiles. You end up sprawled across his bed, legs tangled together, your head resting on his chest. He traces slow, absentminded patterns on your arm, his other hand playing with your hair.

“You make me wanna be better,” he murmurs.

You tilt your head up, meeting his gaze. “You already are.”

He scoffs playfully. “Tell that to literally anyone else.”

You grin. “Oh, I do. But no one believes me.”

Rafe chuckles, shifting so he can look at you better. “Maybe because they only see one side of me.”

“Then they don’t know the real you,” you say simply, running a hand down his chest.

He hums in thought before pulling you closer. “I don’t care what they think. As long as you know.”

“I do,” you assure him. “And I love you for it.”

His breath hitches slightly, but then he’s smiling, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“If only people knew,” you murmur. “I wish I could record this and just end your whole bad boy reputation.”

Rafe laughs, shaking his head. “Let ‘em think what they want, baby. I only care what you think.”

And that’s all that matters.

[jinisnuggets]

✧.* ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴏʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ?

INCLUDES | Yuji, Megumi, Gojo, Nanami, Geto, Sukuna, Toge, Yuta

READER | G/n

WORD COUNT | 0.5k (about 70 per character)

GENRE | Fluff, Headcanons

WARNINGS | Dirty jokes mention.

A/N | I hadn't noticed how long it had been since I last uploaded anything Jjk related.

➼ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ

Yuji

Yuji is an absolute sweetheart, he loves showering his partner with compliments and affection so they are aware just how incredible and meaningful they are. He knows his limits and is absolutely willing to surpass them if it means protecting his partner from any harm. He would be a bit obnoxious and maybe a little annoying at times, but he doesn't mind going shopping or doing other activities that you may enjoy.

Nanami

I genuinely think Nanami would be a pretty good partner. I think he would be a respectfully mature boyfriend/husband who would be affectionate at times and kiss you when stress gets the better of him. I think his partner would be his escape from the world and job, so he would treasure the time he gets to wrap his s/o around his arms and simply rest in safety and assurance.

Geto

Geto is an absolute tease, he would mock his partner because that's his love language. However, he will always assure no one makes you uncomfortable (and if someone does then we pray for that person). He will always be sure to let others know their boundaries whenever it comes to you, never letting someone take a step to close. When you feel upset, he will sit down and always listen to you.

Sukuna

Again, Sukuna is a tease and enjoys mocking his partner because that's his love language. Sukuna tends to be a bit more romantic with his teasing, often hitting you with things like “you know you love me” or the good old “Relax princess/prince.” He will sometimes (often) sneak in some dirty jokes. There's nothing he loves more than taking the initiative and seeing your flustered face whenever he gets the opportunity.

➼ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ

Toge

I think the reason Toge is here is obvious, due to his cursed speech, he is unable to speak his sentiments in a genuine manner. So I believe he'd like whenever you show small actions of care or interest towards him: things like brushing his hair, cupping his cheeks, kissing him on the forehead or cheek are all things he adores. He doesn't need much; he's content with small actions of affection.

➼ ʙᴏᴛʜ

Megumi

Fushiguro has been rightfully depicted as the “perfect man” of Jjk, so therefore he lands a spot here. He isn't a very physically affectionate partner, but he always shows he cares by listening to you attentively and assuring you with words of affirmation or advice if that's what you wish; in addition, he is very protective over his partner. I think he'd relatively enjoy whenever you take the initiative to kiss or hug him.

Gojo

Gojo can be a pretty immature person, so I think he'd be the type to show off his partner: introducing them as the great Gojo’s wife/husband, etc. Gojo would like giving compliments, but he'd also like receiving them to increase his ego. I think he'd constantly buy gifts for his partner and spoil them despite you asking him not to, but of course he likes whenever you stand up and kiss him or give him small words of encouragement.

Yuta

Yuta is another sweetheart of the series, so I think he'd always make sure to spend his time to the fullest whenever he's with you. He is constantly gone on overseas missions, so therefore, his time with you is limited. He'd spend that limited time with you and treasure it, whether it's by practice, or lunch. Picnics are common and he adores them, or other small things like drawing competitions. He doesn't care as long as you both are having fun.

[plumeria1]

Family Time

Note: This post is for @trinityobsessesovatings who made this cute demand asking. I thought I wouldn't finish it until tomorrow, but since I just finished it, I'm posting it now. I hope you like it.

Pairing: Caitlyn Kiramman x Fem Reader

Warning: None

Content: Fluff, etablished relationship

Summary: A sweet moment with your wife and your daughters

You loved rainy days; those were the days when you and your wife, Caitlyn, could spend the day at home.

Since the end of the war against Noxus, things had calmed down. You had accepted Councilor Medarda's proposal to join the council.

When Caitlyn was offered to take her mother's place on the council, she refused, preferring to focus on her job as sheriff. But she had warmly recommended that you take her place; she knew you would do very well.

Shortly after you joined the council, Caitlyn invited you to dinner, pretending to want to celebrate the end of the war and your new job. But at the end of the dinner, she had taken you to the garden where she often spent time with her mother.

That was where she had proposed to you. You had never been happier, your face covered in tears of joy, and you had accepted while pulling her into a long, passionate kiss.

After your marriage, you settled into the Kiramman family mansion, and soon the topic of children came up. It was something that Caitlyn and you had in common; you had always wanted children.

But the problem was that it is impossible for two women to conceive children, so it was only logical that you turned to adoption.

After a year, you had adopted two six-year-old little girls, adorable twins: Cassandra and Calliope. The name of the first had made Caitlyn smile; she found it ironic that one of her daughters bore the name of her late mother.

It took a little time to adjust, but within three months, you all got used to each other, and since then, your daughters had never left your side.

Cassandra was a bit closer to you, and Calliope to Caitlyn, but they loved you both equally. And since their adoption, your lives had been perfect.

Today, you had planned to spend the day outside with the three of you, but the rain had ruined your plans. Fortunately, you quickly found something to keep you occupied all day.

After dinner, sitting in front of the fireplace, the twins played with dolls under Caitlyn's gentle supervision, who was having fun with them. On your side, you were coming back from the kitchen where you had gone to get something to snack on.

You loved what you saw: your family gathered away from the world’s complications and the traveling noise. You saw Caitlyn soften as she looked at your daughters. You spoke from the doorstep.

-So, you're playing without me?

-Mama!

Cassandra abandoned her doll to run toward you.

-Come, I made you a drawing.

You laughed when she took your hand and pulled you toward Caitlyn and Calliope, then made you sit down before handing you a sheet full of colors. On it, you could see four stick figures, two smaller ones between two larger ones.

-Look, it's you and mom, and this is Callie and me.

-It's very beautiful, sweetie.

You placed the drawing next to you and took her in your arms. Then you turned to Caitlyn and Calliope.

-So, what were you playing before I arrived?

-The heroes of Piltover, Callie is Mel.

-And who are you?

-Mom.

Caitlyn laughed upon hearing that. Knowing that your daughters saw her as a heroine warmed her heart.

You ended up sitting with them until it was time for bed. You had to carry the girls because they could barely keep their eyes open.

Once in their beds, you tucked them in and gave each of them a kiss on the forehead to wish them goodnight and went to bed yourself.

When you joined Caitlyn in your bed, she was in her pajamas, eagerly waiting for you. She also had a hard time staying awake, but she didn’t want to sleep without you. She loved holding you in her arms when she slept; your presence warmed her inside and out.

-It was a good day.

Barely seated beside her, she pulled you into her arms, making you laugh. Then she rested her head on your shoulder.

-Yes, we should do this more often.

-Mmh.

You were about to say something else when you noticed she had fallen asleep. Instead, you turned off the light on your bedside lamp, kissed her on the top of her head, and snuggled up to her with a smile. In a few minutes, you fell asleep too.

[escha-ashengrotto]

His Small But Intimate Gestures

Azul Ashengrotto x GN!Reader

Summary: Azul and his subtle, physical affections for you.

Notes: Established relationship. Azul calls you "sweetheart".

A/N: I wrote this in second person POV but this was actually originally written with Eszul dynamic in mind. I was thinking of my ship when I wrote this a few months back for inspiration. I saw this in my drafts once more and decided to finally upload it :)

Azul brushing your hair out of your face.

You were busy writing on your notebook, comparing the details of your notes to the information on the book in front of you. You were so focused with studying that you didn't pay attention to the stray strands of hair falling to your face. Except for that silver-haired person sitting beside you. His gloved hand reached out to you, brushing the strands of hair away from your face.

"Your hair is getting in the way," Azul said gently as he tucked the stray hairs behind your ear before smiling at you. "There. Now I get to see your beautiful face again."

Azul blowing something out of your eye.

"Ah! Zul. Zul, help!!" You cried out to him. You were walking together with Azul when a strong wind passed by and something got caught in your eye.

"What happened? Why are you crying?!" He asked worriedly at the sudden change in your mood.

"There's something in my eye. It hurts!!"

Azul immediately stepped closer to you, placing his thumb and index finger around your eye. "I'm going to blow on it, okay? One. Two.."

His fingers opened your eye as he blew on it to get the irritant out. "Is it gone??"

You sniffled but felt that the foreign object was gone. "I think so? It doesn't hurt as much anymore. Thank you."

Blinking and gaining more awareness of your surroundings, you realized Azul's face was very close to yours. You felt yourself blushing from the close proximity while Azul took notice of your reaction and smiled teasingly at you.

"I think there's still something in your eye. Let me try again," he said as he inched even closer to you, taking delight in your cute, flustered expression.

Azul leaning his forehead against yours.

You were just relaxing in bed when you suddenly felt Azul's arms wrapped around you from behind.

"Y/N~" He called out to you.

"Zul?" You turned around to face him. "What's wrong?"

He leaned his face closer to yours until your foreheads were touching. You heard a soft sigh escape his lips as he closed his eyes in a relaxed state.

"Azul?"

"Nothing sweetheart. I just.. wanted to be close to you."

Azul stroking your cheek.

You were sharing a story with Azul, talking quite animatedly with the way your hands moved around and your face being so expressive. Azul was completely enamoured by you and couldn't help raising his hand to caress your face. His bare hand made contact with your skin, gliding his fingers gently across your cheek. The moment he did though, he noticed you stopped. A faint blush dusted your cheeks.

"Hm? Why'd you stop?" He asked curiously.

"You know why," you pouted.

"Does it bother you?"

"..no."

"Then keep going, my sweetheart. As you were saying?"

His fingers continued to stroke your cheek affectionately as you resumed your tale. He noticed the brighter shade of pink adorning your cheeks caused by his touch and Azul felt pleased with himself at how you looked so adorable like that all because of him.

Azul whispering into your ear.

"Can I tell you something?" Azul asked.

You darted your eyes to his and saw there was some mischief hidden in those ocean blue irises.

"Hmm.. you're planning something."

"Oh, it's nothing bad I can assure you. I simply wish to tell you something. Won't you indulge me in my request?"

There was something about the way he talked and the way his lips curved into a smile. A devious smile. Still you took the bait, curious on what he was going to say.

"Alright! So what is it?"

He leaned forward to have his mouth close to your ear before whispering, "I love you," and planting a kiss to the outer shell of your ear.

Your entire face felt hot as you blushed deeply. Your hands immediately went to your face and though your eyes were covered, you knew for sure that Azul had that handsome smirk on his face.

Masterlist here!

If you enjoyed this: likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. Thank you for reading!

[goldenhazelnut]

Birthday Cake || Carlos Sainz

The scent of vanilla and buttercream filled the air as you set the cake down on the table, your heart pounding in anticipation. The soft glow of the candles flickered against the dimly lit room, the only other source of light being the cityscape beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows. The cake had been a last-minute idea, something playful yet meaningful, and you couldn’t help but wonder how Carlos would react.

Carlos had promised he wouldn’t be late, but you knew how unpredictable his schedule could be. The hours ticked by, and just as you were about to check your phone for the tenth time, the front door creaked open.

“Perdón, cariño,” his deep voice carried through the quiet apartment. “You wouldn’t believe the day I had.”

You turned, a teasing smile playing on your lips. “I’ll forgive you, but only if you make a wish.”

Carlos’s gaze landed on the cake, and his eyebrows shot up as he read the message in bold, frosting-covered letters: Tell Sainz I am legal.

A breath of laughter escaped him, warm and full of amusement. “Are you serious?” he asked, shaking his head. But his expression softened as his eyes met yours, filled with a quiet affection that sent warmth spreading through your chest.

“I thought I’d make your life easier,” you teased. “Now, no one has to ask.”

Carlos’s lips quirked up at the corner, and he let out another soft chuckle. “And why, exactly, don’t you have to explain?”

You shrugged, leaning against the counter with a playful glint in your eyes. “Because the cake says it all.”

Carlos shook his head again, but his hands found your waist, pulling you in. “Eres increíble,” he murmured before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

His warmth enveloped you, and suddenly, the cake didn’t matter as much. All that mattered was the way he held you, the way his lips ghosted over your skin, the way he whispered against your ear, “Happy birthday, mi amor.”

The moment stretched between you, unspoken words lingering in the air. He reached past you, plucking a bit of frosting from the cake with his finger and playfully tapping it against your nose. You gasped, laughing as you swatted his hand away.

“Oh, it’s war now, Sainz.”

His laughter rumbled through him as he dodged your playful attempt to smear frosting on his cheek. “I’d like to see you try, cariño.”

The night was young, and the city outside sparkled, but in that moment, all that existed was the two of you, caught between laughter, love, and a cake that neither of you could take seriously anymore.

It had been a long time coming.

You had met Carlos a year ago, an accidental encounter in the bustling streets of Madrid. You hadn’t recognized him at first, which was something he found endlessly amusing. “You really had no idea who I was?” he had asked, eyes twinkling with intrigue.

“None at all,” you had admitted, biting your lip as you remembered the way he had casually introduced himself as ‘Carlos’ without the slightest hint of expectation.

That had been the start of everything. What began as chance encounters turned into long conversations over coffee, stolen moments between his races, and eventually, something neither of you could ignore. Despite his chaotic schedule, despite the distance that sometimes stretched between you, Carlos had a way of making you feel like you were the center of his world.

And now, as he traced lazy circles on your back with his fingertips, his breath warm against your temple, you couldn’t imagine celebrating your birthday any other way.

“Do you ever think about how different things could’ve been if we hadn’t met that day?” you murmured.

Carlos hummed thoughtfully. “I try not to.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t like thinking about a life where I don’t have you in it.”

Your heart clenched at his words, the sincerity in his voice making your throat tighten. “You’re such a sap, Sainz.”

He laughed, pressing a lingering kiss to your hair. “Only for you, cariño.”

hope you like it <3

[everythingbridgertonbxm]

Then Another

Benedict Bridgerton can't seem to stop kissing his spouse.

A/N - All the kissies. 885 words.

💋

Benedict had always supported your love of writing, one of the many reasons you fell in love with the man and one of the many reasons the man fell in love with you. He usually happily sat with you as he did some simple sketches and you wrote.      

Tonight is different. Benedict appears to have given up his usual hobby of making charcoal meet his sketchbook, though you do not question it. Instead you take your usual place on the settee, leaning against the armrest and making quill meet paper. That’s when Benedict finds a different hobby for the evening.    

He slowly reaches for the hand which is holding your paper steady, and lifting it–lips meeting skin before he quickly glances up at you.     

Damn you Benedict Bridgerton for getting my heart racing so quickly. You look down at him as he glances up at you, a sweet, though mischievous smile which only has you blushing. You let out a smile as he kisses your hand again. “Ben, I have a few things I would like to write down. I had an idea that came to me on our promenade at an earlier hour,” you say to your husband.    

“My dear, don’t let me stop you,” he responds cheekily, not letting go of your hand. He places another kiss on your hand, and then another and then another before offering a smile reserved only for you.  

You are unsure how to respond to your husband, your heart thumping a bit quicker. “Ben, I will be needing my hand back,” you muster out, watching your husband place more kisses to the back of your hand. You blush profusely when he looks up at you for a moment, those stupid puppy-dog eyes.    

Moments later he places a kiss on your wrist, then another, before slowly making a trail of kisses up your arm, teasing your skin rendering you speechless. You find yourself in a place somewhere between wanting to giggle and gasp. You finally find your voice. “Ben, I truly wish to be able to express my words before they slip my mind and I do need both arms and hands for that.”   

He reluctantly nods, letting go of your arm and stepping back, before a smile breaks his face. “Then I shall find another place to kiss.” He leans in towards your face, one arm on the armrest behind your head and the other around your waist.   

You and Benedict had been married for nearly eight months and his hand finding your waist still had your heart beating like mad. You swear your face is entirely red, which the second-eldest Bridgerton seems to ignore.   

“Perhaps this is a good place.” He leans in, placing a gentle kiss on your lips, then another, then another, strategically not allowing you to speak. His lips then move along the side of your mouth before tracing up to your cheek, then another on your other cheek, then another on your forehead.     

You find your voice again. “Benedict, that is not–” You are cut off upon letting out a sharp breath when his kisses find the edge of your jaw. You lift your chin, as if on instinct inviting his lips to find your neck.  

He quickly obliges, trailing kisses along the side of your neck which is when you know you will not be doing any writing this evening. You find just enough time between kisses to place your paper and quill down which Benedict understands as a surrender to getting any work done.     

“Benedict,” you whisper when he finds a particularly sensitive spot. You can feel his breath, warm on your neck and you know he is smiling. Your heart is racing and you are amazed it hasn’t sprung forth from your chest.    

He places another kiss on the spot, then another, and another before finding the bit of skin behind your ear. You feel him remove his hand from the armrest and place it on your hip pulling you up from the settee, keeping you balanced as his lips find yours again. You smile as he places a soft kiss on your mouth, then again. The next one is a little bit more passionate, and he pulls you towards him, not leaving a single bit of space between the two of you.     

“Perhaps we should move this to the bedroom so we do not have to move ourselves,” you offer between kisses, and smiling. You laugh as he does not respond, instead hastening to grab your hand and pulling you down the hall of your home and towards the bedroom. He quickly pulls you in, shutting the door behind him before taking your face in his hands.   

Your heart is racing and you can’t help but smile as he places another kiss on your lips, then another, then another, and another before he slowly backs you up towards the bed. You let out a laugh as you fall onto your back, Benedict falling on top of you. Benedict continues to smile, kissing your cheek, then your jaw, then your neck, then another on your neck. You don’t stop giggling for the rest of the evening, as he finds every possible place for his lips to meet your skin. Always finding a place to kiss, and then another.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ Ending 2 ~ 65

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

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Word Count: 2,180ish

Summary: Wade is back with a cure. Will you take it?

Notes: Please send in reactions! The gift really has nothing to do with the chapter, I just love it.

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks!

Logan woke up with a pain in his neck. He grimaced as he moved his neck from side to side cracking it. Sighing, Logan finally opened his eyes and remembered where he was. Your apartment. He glanced down and a his lips pulled up into a smile. You were still asleep, cuddled up to him. His arm tightened around you. As he looked down at you, Logan wished that every morning could be like this, you asleep in his arms. 

A few minutes pass and Logan decided to carry you to bed. Trying not to jostle you too much, he maneuvered you into his arms and took you to bed. He covered you up before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Peanut, Buttercup, I’m home!” Wade shouted from the living room.

Logan quickly left your bedroom, shutting the door behind him as he rushed to the living room. “Did you do it?” Logan asked. “Did you find something?”

“Well, hello to you, too, Peanut. Seems like a lot has happened since I’ve been gone. You and Buttercup—”

“Wade! Just tell me you’ve found something.”

“Oh… I struck a cord with the big bag Wolverine. Your whole world just revolves around our Little Flame, doesn’t it? You completely fell head over heels in love with her and I wasn’t even around to tease you about it. Come on,” Wade outstretched his arms, “give your favorite roomie a hug.”

“I am not giving you a hug.”

“Come on, just give Buttercup’s savior a hug.”

“So you did do it?”

“I’m not telling you anything until I get a hug.”

Logan groaned and clenched his jaw. “Fine,” he huffed.

“Yay!” Wade launched himself forward and wrapped himself around Logan. “Come on, Peanut, you have to hug back or I won’t tell you.”

Logan grunted as he allowed his arms to wrap around Wade. Laura was at the table, watching with amusement as she ate breakfast.

“What is going on here?” You asked from the hallway, having woken up from the loud voices. “Uh… should I give you two some space? Need to go have a moment alone after being separated?”

“Exactly the welcome back I was looking for,” Wade commented. He let go of Logan and immediately went over, wrapping you up in a hug. “I missed you, Buttercup. And I brought something back with me. Which,” he turned and shook his finger and Logan, “I told you not to tell anyone about my little mission, and Little Wolf over there clearly knew.”

“I didn’t tell her,” Logan said. “I only told Y/N.”

“And I didn’t tell her,” you added.

“Oh, please,” Laura spoke up, “it was obvious what Wade was off trying to do. No one needed to tell me anything.”

“Okay, well, it’s time for story time with Deadpool!” Wade announced. “Every one sit back, relax and enjoy the show!”

~~~

Wade was as animated as ever as he told the story. Wade had found a universe that had an Ember with phoenix abilities on a superhero team that was a combination of the X-Men and the Avengers. The different version of you didn’t have the same problem that you were having. But using her and the files that Wade had on you, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Jean Grey, and Hank McCoy were able put together something.

“You should have seen it!” Wade exclaimed. “Some of the greatest minds in the multiverse, all working together to save our Little Flame! I should have taken a video. It was amazing!”

“Will it work?” Logan wondered, failing to keep his hopes at bay.

“Well, we didn’t exactly have anyone to test it on, but Stark’s fancy AI ran multiple simulations and they seemed very hopeful.”

You were staring at the vial of red liquid in Wade’s hand as everyone else in the room stared at you. Your thoughts were spiraling as you thought of the consequences of taking this cure that Wade had managed to find.

“Mom?” Laura pulled you from your thoughts. “What are you thinking?”

“I… Well, first, thank you Wade, for trying to find something. For risking yourself. It means so much more to me than you’ll ever know… But I can’t take it.”

“What?” Logan questioned.

“I can’t take it. At least, not yet.”

“Why not?” Logan was growing angry. Wade had potentially found a way to keep you with them longer—to keep you with him—and you were just going to throw that away?

“Because Wade can’t promise us that this will actually work. What if I take it and die instantly? What if I take it only to then die a slow and painful death? I don’t want any of you to have to witness any of the possibilities that my mind has come up with.”

“Doll, you’re dying a slow and painful death right now.”

“Yes, but it could be a lot worse. I want to live as much as I can while I can. And when the time comes that there is really no other option, I will consider taking the cure… I’m sorry. I can’t take the risk of losing time with you all. Can you understand that?” You looked at each of them. “Can you all respect my choice?” They remained silent. “Wade, I’m sorry if this upsets you. If I—“

“Hold it right there, Buttercup,” Wade interrupted, stepping closer to you and placing his hands on your shoulders. “This doesn’t upset me at all. This is your choice. And I will respect it. You want to live life the best you can for as long as you can? Then that’s what I’ll help you do.”

“Me, too, mom,” Laura stepped up. “However long we have.”

You gave them both a tight lipped smile before focusing on Logan. You could see the conflict behind his eyes. Logan was torn between forcing the liquid from the vial down your throat and obeying your wishes. He wanted more time. It’s something he felt was always slipping through his fingers despite the long lifespan. But you had a point, if the cure didn’t work, then taking it would only take you from them—from him sooner. And Logan wasn’t sure if he’d survive that.

“Lo?” You whispered, unable to wait for an answer any longer.

“I’m with you, darlin’,” Logan responded. “Whatever you need.”

You felt immense relief, but weren’t able to say anything before Wade beat you do it.

“Wait, Lo?” Wade questioned. “Is that what we’re calling him now?”

“Just her,” Laura smirked.

“Oh, really? Not as good as Peanut or Honey Badger but it will—“

“Not now, Wade,” Logan growled.

“Okay, okay,” Wade put his hands up. “But we,” he motioned between himself and you, “are so talking about this later.”

“Thank you for understanding,” you changed the subject back.

“I want you to keep this.” Wade offered you the vial. 

You shook your head. “No. Keep it. I don’t want it near me.” You leaned close and pressed a kiss to Wade’s cheek. “Thank you for trying. I’m going to go get ready for the day. I have to go to work early.”

The three watched as you slipped into the bathroom.

“Well, I guess that I’ll keep this baby,” Wade shook the vial, “in a safe place.”

“Give it to, Logan,” Laura said. 

“What?” Logan breathed out.

“You are the one I trust the most to kept it safe and to help do what needs to be done with the time comes.”

“Hey!” Wade exclaimed. “I found it!”

“And you did great, Wade. But I think it needs to go to Logan.”

“Fine,” Wade huffed, tossing the vial to Logan, who caught it. Wade yawned, dramatically stretching out. “Well, I need some sleep. Come on, Peanut.”

“What? Why?” Logan questioned.

“Because we need to talk before I hit the hay.” Wade went over to Logan and began pushing him out of the apartment. “See ya later, Little Wolf!” Logan and Wade entered their apartment, Wade slamming the door behind them. “What the actually fuck?! How have you not asked her out yet?!”

“It’s none of your damn business.”

“It kinda is! The tension between the two of you has increased by like a billion times and I totally saw you two asleep, cuddling on the couch earlier! Make a fucking move already!”

“It’s not that easy! I have no idea if she feels the same—“

“Then you are utterly stupid and your old age has caught up to your eyes!”

Logan shook his head and turned to look away from Wade. “What if I let her down? What if I fail her like I failed her in my universe?”

Wade scoffed. “You cannot be serious, Peanut. Fail her? You don’t have that in you, Howlett. I have watched you practically move heaven and earth to make her feel safe and wanted. You don’t have it in you to fail our Little Flame.”

The vial rolled around in Logan’s hand. “Thank you… For finding something, even though we don’t know if it will work and she didn’t take it… Thank you for trying.”

“Anything for my favorite couple. Now, I was serious when I said that I’m tired. But, one last word of advice, don’t wait to ask her. We don’t know know how many good days she has left and if this cure will work when she chooses to take it. Stop wasting time. You may have a good hundred years more, but her clock is ticking, Peanut. Don’t wait too long, only to regret it later.”

~~~

You were on Logan’s mind all day. You and Wade’s words about not wasting anymore time. He wasn’t try to waste time, at least that’s what he believed. What if you weren’t ready? What if he did something that pushed you away for good? At this point, Logan was sure that he couldn’t live without you. He is completely content to just be a friend in your life. To just love you without your love in return. He could live with that. But Wade had a point. Would he regret not trying something when it came down to it?

You could tell that Logan was stuck in his own mind, but didn’t push it as he helped you close up the bar. The two of you started walking home in silence. Logan’s hand that was nearest to you kept clenching and unclenching. He was debating on reaching for your hand, simply to see what would happen when he made a small move. So, taking a deep breath, Logan brushed his hand against yours. You immediately took a sharp inhale at the contact. Logan did it again, this time moving his fingers around your hand.

You yanked your hand away, immediately regretting it. You had simply become too self conscious of your hands because of how scarred they now were. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Logan’s face fall and his hands get stuffed into his jacket pockets. Guilt gnaws at you and you hate that you let your insecurities get the better of you. So you took a deep breath and looped your arm through Logan’s and leaned into him. Logan’s eyes went wide before he looked down at you. You can feel the tension release from his body as the two of you lean into each other.

The two of you walk slower, but it didn’t matter. You were both enjoying the silent time together and the connection. When the two of you finally reached your apartment door, you reluctantly pulled away.

“Thanks for walking me back, Lo,” you said quietly. There was something charged and changed between the two of you and you didn’t know what to do with it.

“Anytime, doll,” the edges of his lips barely lifted up, but it was enough for you to consider it a smile. “I… uh… I… Well, I was wondering if you, ummm, if you… you eat?”

“If I eat?”

“Fuck.” He raked his hand through his hair as he looked down at his feet, clearly nervous. “Of course you eat, we’ve had meals together. I’m a complete dumbass. What I’m meaning to say is… well, I… would you… I was wondering if you would like to do something tomorrow night… with me? Just the two of us.”

“Like a… date?”

“Uh, yes. Of course, if you don’t want to, please know that I take no offense. I know that this is—“

“Lo, stop, stop,” you placed a hand on his chest to try to stop his rambling. 

You paused as you could feel his rapidly beating heart. He was so nervous and it was both heartwarming and funny. You could feel your own heart begin to race. This was a big question he was asking and you knew that it could change the dynamics of your relationship. Were you willing to take that risk? You looked in Logan’s eyes and felt the safety and comfort that only came with him.

“I’d love to go on a date with you, Lo.”

next chapter >

[starl0rds]

Theory of Desire, pt. 2

Hwang In-ho x Fem! Reader ୨୧ · ♡ · ୨୧

Pt. 1 here!

“Young-il.” His name tasted sweet on your tongue. “What do you dream about?”

Amidst the bloodshed and misery of the games, desire takes root inside you and grows towards Young-il.

Warnings: minors dni! smut, mentions of sex, masturbation, wet dream, fingering, oral sex, blood, dirty talk, dom!in-ho, praise kink, basically porn with plot

Author's Note: hope you all are enjoying the fic! thank you sm for all the love so far. chapters will be updated daily on ao3 <3

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶

Chapter 2: how I'm imagining you

I'd be the last shred of truth

In the lost myth of true love 

I'd be the sweet feeling of release

Mankind now dreams of

- “Talk,” by Hozier

“And you? Don’t you also wish to live?”

You looked up at Young-il. His face was inches away from yours, closer than you remember. The proximity of it stirred a strange excitement deep within you.

“Everyone wants to live,” you replied.

“Everyone wants,” Young-il murmured. And suddenly his lips were close to your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your neck. “Everyone wants, and wants, and wants. Tell me, darling, what it is that you really want?”

“I—,”

“I know.” And his lips were no longer near your ear but now trailing the length of your jaw, down to the nape of your neck, to your collarbone. You gasped at the sudden contact. His hands came up to explore the length of your body, strong and possessive. 

“This is what you want, isn’t it?” he whispered. 

His hands dipped underneath the hem of your shirt. Your bare skin smoldered from where he touched it. “Be quiet, now.” He nipped at your neck, and you bit your lip from crying out. “We wouldn’t want to wake anyone here, would we?”

“Young-il, please,” you rasped.

“Oh? Listen to you, already so good at begging,” Young-il praised. He pressed a kiss to your collarbone and slid his left hand down, slowly, until it reached the waistband of your panties. He toyed with it for a moment. With his hand, he stretched the elastic and then let it recoil, stinging your pelvis and eliciting a moan from you. Heat continued to pool between your thighs, closer and closer to where his fingers were traveling…

You startled awake with a jolt, hands clammy and perspiration beading your forehead. Inside the chamber, it was still dark. A sudden sound had roused you from sleep—to your left, one row below you, you heard Player 388 clamoring at the foot of his bunk bed, whispering hushed apologies as he climbed back on. He must have been tossing in his sleep.

You stared upwards at the bed frame of the bunk above you, your chest heaving. Your thoughts drifted to the content of your dream. It had all seemed too concerningly real—the wind of Young-il’s hot breath near your skin, the feel of his hands on your body. 

Your fingers traveled downwards. And there you found the wetness that had pooled between your thighs was not just a figment of your dream.

Shit.

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶

(chapter cont. here on ao3!)

taglist: @k1ra-park3r

[lologoinsolo]

Alright you degenerate freaks (affectionate, I love you all) here’s something for you. MDNI 18+ ONLY

Something something Price can smell your daddy issues a mile away. Doesn’t take a genius to know the reasoning as to why you get all shy when he praises you. A nice, warm, “good, girl” and you’re putty in his hands. You might snark at him every now and then for it. You might even glare when he gives you that tilted look but he knows. He knows deep down you like his praise.

It’s sweet, it’s endearing, really, when you try to take it all on your own. You’ve mentioned in passing to one of his boys about your little problems. You’ve brushed his boys off though when they’d say to go to him for advice. Or to go to him for some help. But you always glared at them, saying something about how you don’t need him. Sure you don’t, sweetheart. Always got something to say about how you’re a big girl, of course you are, hunny, that you pay your bills and can handle yourself. Can you though, love?

Poor thing, poor sweet you, you don’t have to carry it all. That’s what he’s there for, a big strong man like him that can shoulder the pressures for you. A man that knows how to take care of a girl like you. He’s exactly what you need. Why struggle against that, sweetheart? Why argue when he tries to help? Why fight him now?

“No, no, don’t be scared.” He tells you as he places a thick hand over your mouth. You can’t see, not with your curtains blocking out the moonlight. If it wasn’t for his voice you’d hardly recognize the shadow over you. You were too tired , probably from working so hard, to have heard or felt him in your room. Didn’t even feel him crawling on your bed and caging you in. Couldn’t even fight him off with how quickly he sedated you. An empty syringe in his hand, something you didn’t see but felt when it pricked at your skin. Your little cry of pain makes him shake his head disappointedly. Tsking at you when your little cry becomes more, he wouldn’t have gone this far if you’d just let him in.

Whatever was in that syringe is coaxing you into sleeping. You try to fight it, really you do, you try to stay awake but your body relaxes against your better wishes. “Shh, shh, it’s alright.” He coos sweetly but you can’t even scream at him about how it’s not alright. His hand wipes some of your hairs from your face and brushes away the tears that managed to fall. Even giving you a loving kiss to your forehead as he watches you fade into sleep. His blue eyes more noticeable now, how it gleams something dark as he mouths to you right before you doze off.

“I’ve got you, baby.”

[thechaoticcheese]

Ghoap Oneshot - What Makes Me So Special?

The room was thick and heavy, the smell of sex fresh, but dwindling for the two softly panting men as they laid on a bed that was only meant for one.

Ghost laid on the bottom, it only being logical due to his larger size while Soap laid on top. Soap's hands curled gently against the large pecs of Ghost as the two somewhat silently enjoyed each other's company. Though uneasiness suddenly jerked at Soap's heart.

Why him? What made him so special that not only could he see the side of Ghost that no one saw? Why was he allowed to see Simon?

Soap looked up at the blond who was staring directly at him, usually ever so careful to hide his thoughts behind uncaring eyes, but the emotions the Scot felt seemed to be reflected in the dark browns of Ghost’s eyes.

“What makes me so special?” Soap didn't register the voice at first, it felt so frightened and scared to ask a simple yet heart wrenching question. And despite seeing Ghost’s scarred and chapped lips move, it took Soap a moment to process the question that he himself was asking, just the other way around.

“Well…” Soap started off, thinking about why he found Ghost special to him, he did his best to choose his words carefully, speaking a bit slowly, “Yer humor is funny but dog shite, save my arse more times than I can count-”

“So this is payment for savin’ your life?” Ghost's voice dipped into a sadder range of emotion that hit Soap like a truck.

“No! No!.. No.” The Scot was quick to try to fix the Brit’s way of thinking. “It's… It's the way you save me. You don’ care ‘ow many people get hurt, as long as I’m alive, ya go through bloody hell and back to make sure I'm here an’ alive. You care for me more than anyone ever has.” Soap tried to enunciate each word without his accent, despite his tone going soft and almost counteracting his wishes for his own speech. “Yer an awesome man, always wantin’ to listen to me even when yer about to explode at rookies, going to me for stuff when ye don't go ta odders. You're special to me cause I think I'm special to you too. I just wanna show you I appreciate it and show it back.”

Soap didn't even realize that he was tearing up as he looked at Ghost in his eyes.

“I love you Simon Riley, don' you ever forget that.” He finally finished before he felt a thumb wipe away the warm salty liquid that was leaving his eyes.

Ghost's face had turned from a look that hinted at uncertainty to the softest look that Soap had ever seen from his Lieutenant. That's all that Soap needed to settle his own question.

Why did Ghost find Soap so special? Who cares, he does and he goes to Soap for things, and that's more he could ever hope for. Soap knows that he's a safe place for Ghost, a safe place for Simon. Who bloody cares why?

Soap leaned up and gently placed a kiss on Simon’s lips, closing his eyes.

“I love you too Johnny.” Simon whispered softly back as Soap slightly pulled away after feeling the bigger man kiss him back.

“You're right. You are special to me.” He continued, Sosp was taken aback, not expecting him to say anything else. “You're the light that refused to extinguish despite how distant I made myself. You always had that headstrong attitude that never faltered even when facing dozens of men with nothin’ to your name. You're a fighter, and you fight for what you want. You fought for me too, not just in battles, but in our relationship.” Simon then planted a soft kiss on Johnny's forehead, the shocked expression slightly disappeared as the Scot's lips tugged at a smile.

“Yer a bloody mind reader.” He grumbled before Simon let out a soft, growly chuckle.

“I do my best.”

~~~~~~~~~~

A request from @bone-trash and based on this post(specifically the prompt: What makes me so special?)! If you'd like to request something from that list, or anything at all, feel free to send it to my mail(ask)box! I'll get to it as soon as I can!

[npookie0]

A Day To Celebrate.

Ronin x reader scenario, reader's birthday with their partner, fluff, cutsy, maybe some swears and spoilers for the route.

Wish me a happy birthday in the comments, wouldja darlin'? On Feb 3rd your fav lil writer blessed this earthly vale with their presence.

Ronin Beaufort - The Devil.

"Ronin, it's three in the morning. Why the fuck are calling me now?!" You murmured to your phone, or rather to the person on the other side of a call that woke you up.

Ronin, your boyfriend and the most annoying bastard known to mankind, called you out of nowhere and very rudely woke you up.

Seriously, can't you even sleep on your own birthday? Right. It's your birthday, one year closer to death, or however your edgy boyfriend would call it. You wanted to have a good night's sleep for once in the three hundred sixty five days the year offered you, but yet again, someone can't let you have this moment of peace.

"Awh, did I wake you up, writer darlin'? Tsktsk, well too bad. We're heading out, I'm at your door so chop chop." What. No way, no way he wasn't serious...

You jumped out of your bed, practically ran to your window and looked out of it. There he was. Bathed in shadows and darkness, his signature beanie with red horns on his head, phone to his ear while he was looking at your bedroom window. You could swear that he had that shit eating grin glued to his face even tho you couldn't see him clearly.

"What are you doing at my door at three in the morning?" You didn't know if you were more annoyed at him, or at the stupid butterflies in your stomach that were trying to tear your flesh apart from inside.

His chuckle filled your ears and you knew that you were already lost in his game. "It's a surprise love, don't worry, I'm sure you'll like it. Just get yourself all dolled up, but don't take too long. It would be a shame if I had to break down your door."

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The call has ended and you were left staring at him through your window. Fucking Beaufort! Always meddling in and knowing that you will always agree to everything. Maybe it's his rot influencing you, or maybe you're just so fucked up on your own, you didn't know - even though you chose to give yourself the benefit of the doubt and went with the former.

You left your house, greeted by a whistle and cup of coffee being placed in your hand. You looked at Ronin who was looking you up and down, satisfied with the view.

"Well, well, what an eye candy you are, truly a lil piece of art." He complimented you and kissed your forehead.

"Oh please, cut the compliments. Why are you waking me up at this ungodly hour." He snickered at your comments. Ungodly. A word perfectly fitting the antichrist. Sometimes you wondered how much of this devil-may-care attitude was really just his way of adapting to being made the devil in his childhood and how much of it was truly him.

"Oh, don't be like that darling." He gave you a pout and snickered when you punched his shoulder. "Feisty, just how I like you."

"Beaufort " You gave him a warning stare.

"Alright, alright, I'll tell ya." Ronin put his arms up in a defeated way. "I'm taking you out, 's your birthday and I, as the most devilishly amazing boyfriend you could ever ask for, have a little something for you." If it wasn't for his high ego and the late hour you would smile and call him sweet, but you can't give him that compliment when your body still desperately needs sleep.

"So, this plan of yours couldn't wait for the sun to be out?" You raised your eyebrow and sipped the coffee he gave you, at least something to keep you awake.

"Nah, it has to be now or the gift wouldn't be as exquisite as it is. And trust me, once you see it, you'll be thanking me for waking you up "

You rolled your eyes but with a small smile you took his outstretched hand. "Alright then Romeo, lead the way." You said jokingly.

"Awh sorry to disappoint you, love, but we're not dying at the end. You have to put the poison away for now, Juliet." What a romantic thing to say, especially when it's coming from a serial killer.

Finally after a long motorcycle drive the two of you arrived at a place you never seen before. Well, you couldn't exactly see anything now either, there were no street lights, just you two and the moon looming over the whole damn place, romantic and dangerous at the same time, just like your favourite serial killer.

"So you wanted to show me complete darkness? That's such a nice birthday surprise Ro, really." You said with a sarcastically sweet voice.

"And I thought you were the smartie, sweetheart." He pinched your cheek. "Obviously there's something more, come on." He took you by the hand and started walking, pulling you behind.

While you were walking you felt tall grass and flowers rubbing against your legs, you were obviously going through a narrow path because Ronin had to go in front of you. Your eyes were slowly adjusting to the surroundings, you could see an outline of flowers, they were white that's all you could tell so far.

Finally, after a short walk, you could see a weak light on the ground in the distance, something like an electric lantern. Your curiosity grew stronger with every second. What could Ronin possibly prepare for you? A dead body came to mind first, probably one with its heart cut out and some romantic meaning behind the "art piece". It's not like you wouldn't appreciate it, it's a gift... A very peculiar one at that.

"Are ya ready?" He asked, his voice a little shaky, like he's stressed by this gift he was about to give you. Somehow it made you more excited. If it caused Ronin to be so concerned, then it had to come from his heart even if he would play it off as being nonchalant later.

"Well you did wake me up at three in the morning and rode me here for an hour, so yeah, I'm ready Ronin." Your remark about the journey was light-hearted, you wanted to calm him down a little.

"Hah, you're damn right." With a more relaxed voice he took a few final steps and you could see the gift he has prepared.

"No dead bodies? What a shame, Butcher." You teased him and looked around.

In front of you there was a lantern, lighting up a small circle that you and him were standing in. You could get a better look at your surroundings now. You were standing in a meadow.... A meadow full of white lilies. It was mesmerising, the flowers bathed in the weak light.

"'s not the main part of the gift, but..." Ronin's hushed voice came from behind you, and his hand pushed your head up. "Look up, darlin'." You did as he told you to and...

Oh gods the view was just perfect. A sunrise in the horizon, weakly lighting up the world, making the white flowers pop even more. You were just mesmerised by this.

"Ronin this is..."

"Worth waking up so early?" He finished your sentence jokingly.

"I was about to say beautiful but sure, have it your way, idiot." You elbowed him and scoffed. "So what's the main gift?" You looked at him now, he was holding something behind his back.

His eyes were locked on yours, the dark void trapping you in itself like destruction.

"I've got something, it's... I made this." His voice was rushed when he handed you a box.

It was small, not bigger than a jewelry box. You were curious, especially since he said it was handmade. You slowly lifted the lid and the thing you saw inside made your heart stop for a second.

Inside was a thin chain with a pendant, the pendant was a small skull with a lily in one of its eyes. You moved it between your fingers, at the skull's back there was an engraved letter "R" symbolising him.

"... It's not the best thing I've made but uh I tried." You looked up from the gift, Ronin wasn't even looking at you. He was shy? Or maybe embarrassed? He was kinda cute like this....

You didn't know what to say, no words would describe the happiness his gift gave you. So instead of saying anything you pulled him into a tight hug.

"Ronin, thank you. This means so much to me, I'll never take this off." You whispered, clenching the necklace in your hand.

"Hah, I told ya that you'd like it." Oh, and the nonchalant asshole is back.

You were smiling the whole way home, sometimes raising your hand to the pendant just to feel it again. And to think that this small gift would make you so happy....

It was truly a magical beginning of a birthday full of surprises for you.

I'm so happy to be able to share my birthday with all my amazing readers 🫶 I love you all

- N

(await more fics now because I'll get a laptop (hopefully!!!) and I have super great plans for my future writings and maybe a lil special piece I'm working on with someone 👀)

[soaps-mohawk]

i will square up in defence of you and of omega any day. you’re writing is wonderful and beautiful and i stay up late on saturday nights just to read the new chapter (timezones. whoo.)

AND FOR OMEGA. she has been conditioned into seeing herself as less. as nothing more than someone for alphas to breed and use. not a person but an object. throw on the absolute trauma of being ripped away from her mother while presenting and being highly vulnerable, and then the conditioning including what surmounts to torture in order to condition her. so of course she’s afraid of being rejected by her pack, of course one of if not THE greatest motivators for her is fear. she may be loved but she is also terrified even if there weren’t cameras hidden in her room.

such a clear indication of the lack of reading comprehension skills because it is so so clear that her fight or flight response is always going to be freeze or flee. because she was psychologically conditioned to be that way. to lose her fight, what little she had to begin with. to submit (freeze) or shrink away (flee).

- char / vgilantee

Timezones are so weird. I can always have the chapter come out even earlier if the people on the other side of the world would like. I have it post around 5 am my time (Pacific time) but I can make it earlier if y'all don't want to stay up late since I can just schedule the chapters now...let me know

Anyway you're exactly right. She went through a lot of trauma in her childhood and then presenting as an omega only added onto that, with how her father reacted to it. Then she was sent to a place that conditioned her to think of herself as an object, as having nothing more than what she can offer others that have more power over her (socially, mentally, genetically, instinctually). Omegas aren't weak by any means, but society wants them to think that because it's definitely an analogy of patriarchal society and how those with mental health disorders have been and still are treated.

If you don't understand that...then I suggest both some introspection and some practice in critical thinking and media literacy.

But you're absolutely right. Omegas by default are always going to try and flee. If that's not possible then it's freeze and that's where distress comes in. It's that sort of last ditch effort for survival before things get dangerous and that fight instinct comes out in their true omega form (which they often won't survive due to the stress it puts on the body). All of which are very valid forms of stress responses. I'm a freeze person myself 🤷‍♀️ it's not really something you can change unless you're trained to do so.

Thank you for this though. I really appreciate everyone coming to the defense of my sweet baby angel 'mega. Thankfully not many have misunderstood her and the few that have came from a place of ignorance as well as a lack of analysis and media literacy skills.

[shannonsketches]

he's so important to me