#i love when men are emotionally honest and vulnerable

[aj-lenoire]

i’ve been rewatching inside job and firstly i’m still super bummed netflix cancelled it but secondly i don’t quite know how the animators managed with such a simple style but the way reagan and staedtler look at each other is so soft and sweet and it’s legit making me tear up

[mahgyu]

JJK MEN reacting to you asking for love advice about someone else to them

๑ featuring: Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Kento Nanami, Choso Kamo, Toji Fushiguro and Ryomen Sukuna.

๑ content: Unrequited feelings (they like you in case it wasn't clear from the title), manipulation of feelings in certain parts, light angst. No fluff, I'm back to my era of pain (*evil laugh, the return* )

๑ a/n: Actually, there's nothing to say, I hope you enjoy it

GOJO SATORU

"Well, if he doesn't notice how amazing you are, he's an idiot. But, you know, sometimes idiots need a little push. Maybe you should... show him."

As Satoru sat next to you, the woman he secretly loved, he struggled to maintain a relaxed facade, smiling as he took in your every word. Inside, however, your heart was beating wildly, yearning to be the man you sought advice from. Your every gesture and laugh only intensified his desire to be by your side, as he battled to hide his emotions and waited for you to realize the truth behind his rehearsed words and gestures.

GETO SUGURU

"Ah, you deserve someone who treats you like the queen you are. And if he can't see that, then rest assured he's not worthy of all your effort. But you know, there's someone out there who has always known your worth..."

Suguru, with his captivating smile and persuasive skills, listened attentively to your romantic dilemma, calculating each word in his mind as he weaved his suggestions with subtle persuasion. He highlighted the flaws of the man in question but discreetly praised your qualities, seeking to show his own interest deliberately. Behind his serene expression, Geto calculated every move in the hope that you would see in him not just an advisor but a potential lover, eager for the moment when you would recognize his true worth and choose to share your world with him.

KENTO NANAMI

"My suggestion would be to approach the situation calmly and rationally. Communicate your feelings in a clear and direct manner. After all, communication is the key to any relationship. If he is worthy of you, that will be enough."

While Nanami Kento listened attentively to your venting, he offered practical and direct advice, demonstrating his usual calm and clarity. However, internally, he grappled with his own unexpressed feelings, hiding his deep emotions behind a serious and professional facade. Every word of comfort he offered you was a painful reminder of his own unrequited desires.

Despite the intense internal struggle, Nanami continued to counsel you, keeping silent about his own pain. He wondered if he would ever overcome the fear of ruining your friendship by expressing his own feelings, remaining trapped in a cycle of anguish and doubt.

CHOSO KAMO

"I... know what it's like to feel that way. I think... maybe he just needs a little push to realize how special you are. If I were him, I wouldn't hesitate for a second..."

Choso couldn't hide his emotions, his gaze reflecting internal anguish as he listened to your love story. While offering advice, he was emotionally honest, sharing his thoughts and revealing the weight of his unrequited feelings. Choso saw in the situation an opportunity to perhaps get closer to you and show what he truly felt, longing for a deeper connection and hoping that his honesty would touch your heart, as he prepared to face any challenge to be by your side.

TOJI FUSHIGURO

"You're wasting your time with that idiot. Men like him will only make you suffer. If this guy is too blind to see how amazing you are, then you're better off moving on. But, of course, if you prefer to keep deluding yourself, I'm not the one to stop you. Just don't come crying later when things don't work out."

Toji, with his impatient posture and piercing gaze, doesn't hesitate to launch biting criticisms about the man in question while you vent to him. However, internally, he grapples with his own inability to express his feelings, using his rudeness as a shield to hide his vulnerability. While his sharp tongue continues to push away those around him, Toji yearns for an opportunity to truly connect with you, but fear of failure and rejection keeps him trapped in his role as a solitary tough guy.

RYOMEN SUKUNA

"Ah, so you've come to me seeking advice about that fool? Hmph, he's just another insignificant worm, don't waste your time with someone like him. You know, I'm not one to flatter, but you, you're too good for that piece of shit."

Sukuna, with his ironic smile and malicious eyes, absorbs every word that comes out of your mouth, carefully choosing each piece of advice to weave his manipulation web. His enigmatic words, full of double meanings, cast doubt on the man in question while subtly suggesting that he himself would be a better option for you. He delights in the control he exerts over the situation, using both you and the man as pawns in his power game, relishing the feeling of power it gives him, determined to achieve his own ends at any cost.

[handsomewickerman]

Some thoughts on Eddie Diaz vs. Fanon Gay Eddie

I wanna preface this by saying that i'm latino, gay, raised catholic, heard the phrase "you gotta be the man of the house" my whole life. So on paper the idea of "repressed gay Eddie Diaz" should be appealing to me, right? well not exactly and here's why:

when I started watching the show I was aware of buddie, but I never engaged with the fandom. It wasn't until Buck came out that I started interacting with it.

when you join any space online the algorithm feeds you the most popular stuff, in this case, all my 911 recommendations were buddie, at the time I saw the vision, after all I love queer rep! but after the date episode and all throughout the hiatus I realized something very quickly:

most buddies don't actually care about queer rep, they just wanted their ship to go canon.

this realization came after weeks of seeing them spew bi/homophobic rhetoric and claiming it didn't matter as long as they got buddie, some examples:

- saying they wanted Buck to play into the bisexual cheating stereotype.

- calling Tommy a groomer, creep and predator.

- being unable to fathom the idea that Tommy was just hanging out with Eddie as friends

- claiming Eddie being a pos shit to women was ok "as long as he's gay".

- the insistence that Eddie should only be read as gay (not even bi).

- the idea that Buck and Eddie should only be "gay for each other" and no one else.

(these talking points still get repeated and if anything they have gotten more hateful the more time has passed).

Buddies insisted that they could've made buddie canon every ep, but that's simply not true, even leaving the GA and network aside, if you watch the show without shipping goggles you'll realize how much work they'll need to write that arc for Eddie as well, and if you care about queer rep you would want him to have his arc too, right?

they also claimed that his religious guilt is "clearly tied to queerness" when in reality Eddie is one of the most stagnant characters in the show as his religious guilt is tied to his inability to secure a "traditional family unit" and be the "man of the house" he was told to be. He drove Shannon away (something he admitted), then lost her forever and hasn't been able to move on for 6 seasons. It all circles back to that guilt about Shannon, the expectations put on him and his feelings of failing her, his parents, his kid and himself. Could there be an space for queerness too? Sure, but that's not what the show has portrayed at all so far.

the heavy mischaracterization of Eddie, the choice to strip him away from all his flaws or excuse them, the character assassination and malicious reading of Tommy while engaging in homophobia, their inability to allow Buck to be his own character with his queerness having nothing to do with Eddie and the desire to have him play into negative stereotypes told me everything I needed to know about where these people who want to gaslight you into thinking that "gay Eddie and buddie is the only correct answer" actually stand when it comes to queer rep.

it is not inherently wrong to find relatability in Eddie as a queer person and read him as such, but it is incredibly dishonest to claim that's the only valid way to read him.

in the end, I should find Eddie more relatable as a character and truth be told? I do, but I find Ryan's desire to tell a story about men being vulnerable, emotionally open and close without having to question their sexuality or masculinity far more realistic and honest for the character and Ryan himself.

[desos-records]

[Spoilers for the Creeping Shadow]

"I missed you so much, Lucy."

I'm never going to get over this line. I'm losing my mind. Let's overanalyze the shit out of this.

The fact he says it right before they're about to run headlong into suicidal danger, it makes you realize that Lockwood needs Lucy there to ground him. He figures that the recklessness is okay if she's there to direct it, if it's reckless to be protective, not just for its own sake. And he missed this, missed how well they work together, how much she trusts him, how well she understands him. He missed having someone to fight for.

But more than that, he's just asked her to do something insane and she goes along with it because she's Lucy and he has never known her to back down from a fight. George and Holly and literally anyone else would've called him insane and insisted on doing things a different way, but she doesn't. They are so much alike in that way, just reckless and daring enough to win. Especially when they work together.

His love for her is practically bleeding out of him. He compliments her constantly, physically and emotionally protects her whenever possible. There's also his obvious discomfort whenever it's even remotely hinted that Holly might be replacing her in any way, shape, or form--the boy starts talking about orange juice of all things to get away from the topic of Holly staying over at Portland Row. He jumps at any excuse to bring her back into his life while also managing to respect her decision to hold herself separate from the agency.

The only reason Lucy doesn't connect the dots about all the attention Lockwood pays her is her own particular brand of oblivious insecurity. It's also the fact that Lockwood rarely says anything outright. He talks a lot, but true vulnerability is rare. I think short of an 'I love you' Lucy probably wouldn't realize. She's a Listener, she needs to hear it to believe it. And you see that in her reactions to the instances when he compliments her, when he's open and honest with her, when he says he missed her.

Lockwood, meanwhile, doesn't track Lucy's feelings for him either. Although Lucy leaves to protect him, all he sees is Lucy stepping out of his life (was it because of Holly? because he pushed her too far about her Talent? did she just get sick of him finally?). She doesn't necessarily show that she cares about him in anyway he recognizes, outside of how well she understands him, how well they work together. As repressed as Lockwood is, Lucy is terribly reserved, paying compliments or words of affection sparingly and only when she really means it. Short of a flat-out kiss, I'm not sure Lockwood would realize her feelings either. Lockwood has Sight, he's a liar and a charlatan, he needs to see something to truly believe it.

So he says, "I missed you" and fights off a dozen relic-men for her and he hopes it's enough.

[meloncolliemovies]

QUEER (2024)

Director: Luca Guadagnino

Cast: Daniel Craig (Lee), Drew Starkey (Eugene)

4.5/5

Luca Guadagnino’s queer is a spectrum of imagery. It pushes the boundaries of what we know as “queer”, it disembodies it. It is so unusual to see a film with mlm couples where they are not in love and deeply romantic, because even in 2025 people are still uncomfortable with male on male sexuality. In fact, so much so that a woman behind me in the cinema couldn't stop laughing at this film, believing it comedic instead of the art it is.

I have always admired Guadagnino’s filmmaking for it's visual symbolism. I watched Bones and All last year and it is honestly one of my favourite films for imagery still. I personally loved the use of snakes and centipedes, evoking phallic, poisonous imagery, reminding viewers of how this film is rife with the unfortunate toxic masculinity that surrounds queer communities still today. The snake eating itself, in infinity, forever is a consistent reminder that we must escape the cycle as queer people and be honest with ourselves. The film also featured some fantastic bodily imagery, I've never been so upset at seeing a pair of boobs on my screen.

The acting is undoubtedly amazing. Casting Daniel Craig as the film noir Humphrey Bogart he always should've been, and shooting it so. Every concrete alley, every shadow, every superimposition was reminiscent of that 50s Hollywood, hard boned romance star. Yet, Daniel Craig is far from that in this, I'd go so far as to argue he's the opposite. He's vulnerable, but in the way that men expect they should be, he trods around his desperation until he simply cannot hide from it anymore, and then he begs and stalks. “I want to talk to you…without words”, he wants to emotionally connect, somehow still such an unusual concept for men. And then there's the ashamed, silent lover, Eugene, played by Drew Starkey and it's a fantastic role. I've never seen Drew Starkey in anything before and he blew it out the park for me. Their relationship, unlike many queer films I've seen especially featuring wlw relationships, demands rather than yearns. It is not just that Eugene and Lee want each other, it's that they demand and order. “Mas, mas, mas” They want more, and both cannot reach that, until they quite literally superimpose their bodies together and become one, and it all becomes too much.

The cinematography and mise en scene was also stunning. I loved the opening shots, the story told in objects. I loved the windows, because Guadagnino loves a window so I do too. It is shot so purely, sunlight through the blossoms, cobbled streets, unnamed buildings and bars where the queer people have to hide away from the rest of the world. Yet, Guadagnino has built a community in this world. The Green Lanterns, a safe space for queer men to express freely, and it makes me joyous to see that represented. Also, that fucking score. Trent Reznor is a genius and the Nirvana needle drops were all anyone could ask for, it was a symposium of sounds which make you think, does this match the aesthetic? But it does, it truly does. It brings us the seediness and hidden identities which visually are not shown.

After composing my thoughts a little, I can honestly say that Queer is a reminder of how far cinema has come. I would describe my feelings as I left the cinema as joyous. The film was beautiful. I absolutely love seeing men on screen, exploring vulnerability and breaking boundaries. Yet, I also love how they are so masculine that they can barely escape it. It's just wonderful to finally see unconventional queer relationships. I can't remember who said it, but a review I read said that "Sexuality is as individual as the fingerprint" and that's more than true. The film literally only lacks half a star because I got freaked out when their hearts fell out of their mouths, but honestly that's just me.

I would watch again, and again. I want more!

p.s I'm rewatching I Saw The TV Glow soon, be prepared for a huge review.

[opinionettey]

✨PLACEMENT OBSERVATIONS : IMO ✨

Capricorn SUN/MOON/VENUS - Capricorns have this habit of putting too much expectations on their partner. Capricorns need their partners to play the role they made up in their heads, they can also be very cold and distant, thinking that just because they provide they don’t need to fulfill their lovers emotional needs. They have a bigger ego than Leo, often thinking they’re more superior than others.

This could be due to the hardships they faced growing up, it’s hard for them to empathize and sympathize with people, because they are Saturn ruled they can also come off as “too serious”.

ARIES SUN/MOON & ARIES MEN BORN IN APRIL - Aries men are very ambitious but, emotionally immature. Aries men can also be prone to being abusive and temperamental, a lot of Aries usually have anger problems at a young age. Aries is the first zodiac sign so a lot of them can be very selfish in their ways, only thinking about themselves. They’re most likely to cheat on you out of boredom or strictly for excitement. As quick as they fall in love they fall out of love and on to the next one.

LEO MOONS & RISINGS ✨ - can be very jealous and don’t like attention to be turned away from them. They are the types to fake being happy for you, especially if things in their lives aren’t going well. I find that they will change their personality to impress their love interest.

Taurus placements (SUN/MOON/RISING) (mostly in women) - LIE just to make themselves seem interesting or mysterious. They also tend to use their friends for their own benefit.

SCORPIO SUN/MARS/VENUS -(Ive notice mostly in women) - claim to be real, but can’t even be honest about their own emotions especially when feeling vulnerable. They are the types to speak about people behind their backs, and then act surprise when someone pops off on them. They can also be very abusive to their partners , verbally and physically. They also have a bad habit of projecting their insecurities onto people.

VIRGO MARS/VENUS/SUN - Prone to substance abuse to deal with deep negative emotions. Usually heartbreak will be the cope rate also being exposed to drugs because of jealousy. (People jealous of them) they also tend to attract wicked souls.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

You know what is really bothering me about these last couple of days in Thai BL land?

Yes there were a lot of tears, but none of them were mine. (the exception being cherry magic. that sequence of Karan taking care of Achi and then being heartbroken. My heart wasn't ready)

These are my personal and maybe unpopular opinions so just let me explain. Spoilers galore as usual. We had some heavy episodes this week. Starting with 7 days before valentine and ending with the sign.

7 Days Before Valentine Look, was it heartbreaking? Sure. Did I feel sorry for Sunshine? Nope. Not even a little. Because for 8 episodes we've seen a selfish, self centered human being make a mess of the world without an ounce of remorse. Just picking people off one by one for his own selfish desires. So even if this episode was actually good, because he finally confronted his selfishness, I was watching wearing a big neon sign saying - you had it coming... the world's smallest violin etc... Also we know he's not actually gone so. (this is the recurring theme of the week btw)

Pit Babe I mean Pavel did a great job and this show is doing a great job at showing men being vulnerable and crying. But let's be real. Charlie is not really dead. We know that. Omegaverse or not, this is Thai bl and we don't play that here.

So the idea to leave the audience in the dark is an attempt at a cliffhanger but ultimately void of any real suspense. If the audience were to be let in on the plan, I'm sure there is one, then we could've felt Babe's suffering in a more profound way. Because, in my opinion, that would be more powerful. We could've seen both sides of this and felt bad for both of them. What's the point of leaving us in the dark? Am I suppose to gasp next week when Charlie appears? When what will actually happen will be that as soon as we know Charlie is alive we will get angry at him for making the person he loves suffer and next at Babe because they will get right back to the papa and mamma talk before the I'm sorry leaves Charlie's lips.

Twins I mean, there wasn't really a lot of suffering left to be had here. I was the only one suffering due to the fact that this show really waited until the last episode to make Sprite come clean. And to top it of, making First feel even more like a door mat by forgiving Sprite so fast. What a waste.

Last Twilight I've already said my peace about this show a couple of times. I did feel Mhok's pain. Him alone crying outside the house was heartbreaking. But the problem is how it happened. Idiotic. The catharsis didn't have the time to actually be cathartic for Mhok. The noble break up was not noble. So in the end I cannot emotionally connect to any of this. They threw Mhok's nightmare in there in case we'd forgotten about his baggage, or maybe because they had, so that sudden confession of Mhok had diminished impact as it was followed by the break up which of course is the real heartbreak I guess.

The Sign What is up with the editing of this show?

I already said somewhere last week that I thought the editing of the rescue was terrible because it was not done as to invoke any emotional impact. The same happens this week.

What the hell was that cut after Phaya woke up? We had like 15 seconds of them looking at each other and Phaya reaching out before they cut to Dr ican'tkeepupwiththenamesatthispoint and then to the police story line that let's be honest, it's taking space from everything else that's more interesting and it's not giving us anything of value in return. Stop putting everything but kitchen sink into shows if you can't manage it properly. If you don't have space for these stories to breathe and give me something I'm missing in the main story lines. Look I love that Phaya got up from his hospital bed and immediately went for it, but I mean what am I suppose to feel about it? The show is not letting us settle into any one emotional state long enough to feel anything at all.

And, I'm really asking. Is anyone at all interested in the police investigation? You can have a police investigation as backdrop to a story. But if you're also gonna take it upon yourself to have this massive mythological, past and present lives star crossed lovers story, then something's gotta give. Maybe just make it a case that doesn't also span generations and brings secrets and lies along for the ride.

I'm so mad at Thai bl at the moment. Not you Cherry Magic, you are my precious ray of sunshine in the middle of all this rain. Please be good till the end.

[Thank you @twig-tea for being my proofreader. You're the best. 💜]

[astroismypassion]

hi!!

I was wondering what’s the problem with this? https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMh81DQKf/ everyone’s saying to stay away but i’m intrigued on why because my crush has the exact same chart to this except he’s a gemini venus 😭

thank you!

Ohh you guys are sending me tiktoks now aww, that's sweet!

I think this goes for all the charts where on sign is predominant. I also saw tiktok where there is a Natal chart with just Aquarius and Capricorn and people were scared of that as well.

But I will remain as an astrologer and try to provide more of astrological aspects of this. The thing is a lot of comments are throwing in stereotypes as well, especially the crying part. Quite the opposite, I think this person is not much of a cryer, due to having also Mercury in Cancer, so they probably rationalize their feelings a lot. I have seen some emotionally constipated Cancers before, so that crying stereotype is kinda getting old. Yes, they can be emotional manipulators, but only if you are. Or if they sense you are not being honest and transparent with them. The thing with Cancer placements, they always mirror back energy. They also act based on how they see you feeling, so sometimes is really just their reaction on your feelings. So definitely don't try to fool them, they catch up on these things very quickly.

Cancers can be known to be indecisive, due to always trying to navigate the balance between being in the comfort zone and being more adventurous and branching out. I think the people in tiktok also had a problem with all those placements in the 7th house. 7th house can be tricky here, because it amplifies the indecisiveness that Cancer already has. But honestly what worried ME the most, were actually the degrees I saw. Cancer in the 7th house doesn't worry me as much. He probably attract people even moodier and more emotional than he is. Yes, bunch of 7th house planets, can get very quickly codependent and heavily reliant on friends, family, partner. But it also means that he mirrors back EVERYTHING he is receiving. He also has a Cancer Moon, the tiktok guy, so it really depends on how he was raised, the environment in his early childhood. So that could be seen by aspects to his Cancer Moon, which we don't see in the tiktok.

Ohh so you have someone with these placements, first thing here this is much more rational, logical Cancer due to this Gemini Venus. He also goes where his attention goes. So try to have stimulating conversations and ask about this interests and passions too. These people really can be health conscious too, loves healthy recipes too and cycling too. He probably has been friendzoned before, so be mindful of that too. Now, I would say many planets in Cancer isn't that worrisome. It depends on your own Natal chart, are you a Gemini Sun? Do you have a lot of Cancer placements yourself etc.? Try to study your own chart in comparison to his, to understand it better. But already having someone in your life with so many Cancer placements, it's likely you don't express your feelings enough. This is always a tell sign, when a Cancer with so much Cancer energy enters your life. You need to be emotionally vulnerable enough and expressive with them and most people are not really prepared and open enough to do that, so that's why they end up not liking the experience with Cancer energy.

Now, to end on a real life experience note, I have had people with Cancer placements in my life before, Cancer Sun with a Moon in the 4th house. Currently a person I care about has bunch of planets in Cancer (Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars). And to me this last Cancer I'm mentioning is the truly one of the most quality connections I've experienced with men in the past ten years. This Cancer Sun with so many Cancer planets is patient, kind, caring, has emotional intelligence I admire, apologizes when there are wrongdoings, loves to travel, incredible listener and great storyteller, really mellow, sweet, yet knows how to be in control of his own life events. To me it's very inspiring to see and I aspire to develop some of these good virtues, qualities in myself hopefully at some point moving forward!

[cer-rata]

Hi! I wanted to ask about your process making of Conrad. I been thinking on creating my own oc but I really don't know where to start and when I read "heart of Gotham" he feld like a pretty solid character and very interesting too.

So I'Il like to know, how did you come up with him? Where did you started end how did you follow with his story?

And if you have advice on building a character I would love to hear it, thank you! :D

This is so nice? I think the biggest anxiety around creating a OC-centric fic is that your baby just won't be as interesting as the canon characters, or worse is actively agonizing to witness, so it is nice to see that he stuck out to you positively.

This is a lovely question and I want to give you a thorough answer.

Spoilers? I guess? But only for things I've already published.

On Conrad:

When I'm writing fanfiction, OC or not, I like to look at the existing world building, find a detail that I think is really neat, and then put it somewhere it doesn't belong. I love Star Sapphires conceptually, if not always in execution, and wanted to play with what it means to be powered by love, and to do it differently than the classic obsessive, toxic, homicidal Sapphire that Carol became back in the day before it was a proper corps, and Geoff did his lantern lore tinkering. But I also didn't want to make it a purely heroic, morally unambiguous thing. All emotions are neutral and love can go in a lot of directions. I knew it had to stem from some kind of pain, partially because that is the standard set in canon, and also because I feel that heartbreak is love at its most intense and difficult to control, and that level of extreme emotion is needed to attract a ring.

So I started thinking about the kind of person that would be capable of feeling love that deeply and then I realized that the most emotionally volatile time in most people's lives is the teen years. Especially when it comes to affection. I'm not excluding my ace friends here either, even if it's not romantic or sexual in nature, teenagers tend to form really strong bonds, due in part to the aforementioned emotional volatility. So I knew they needed to be a teenager.

I wanted him to be a boy because I think the love corps being gender biased makes no sense, and playing with masculine stereotypes of what love means interested me. I am a guy, I like to write what I know. I also wanted to play with the idea of what it means to be a guy in the first place. Conrad's boyfriend, Darren was kind of created to be a more standard masculine ideal: Big, strong, uncomplicated, aggressive. I think on a level Conrad envied that and the safety that came with it. Conrad on the other hand was more complicated. There's a lot of softness there, an emotional rawness even before the tragedy, and he doesn't hide that. He's very openly gay, honest and clear about that, but he's also not pressed to present in a certain way. He liked that Darren protected him, and he didn't like conflict. None of that was from a place of confidence necessarily, more an aversion to being inauthentic. He doesn't think highly of himself, but he's also not interested in pretending he's anything else. It's not that he doesn't care what people think of him, but he just can't be anything else than what he is.

Frankly, there's also a tendency to write black boys and men as wildly binary. Either hyper masc and aggressive or toothless and palatable. I didn't want Conrad to be so clearly defined.

So I had the basic outline of his vibe by that point, I didn't have all the specifics but I knew that I needed to create an awful situation for this emotionally vulnerable kid. That's where Gotham came into play. Bad things happen to people every day in Gotham, and despite that, the regular folk keep living their lives. It quickly became important to me that Conrad represent a very average person in a very strange city, with average ambitions and circumstances. Being raised in a working class home was a given, because I didn't want to lean too far into the poverty narrative, but I did want to draw some distinction there, and contrast that kind of worldview to that of the better resourced batfamily. I wanted to make the change in his status quo even more jarring by not making him someone with any ambition to be a superhero, and make his more typical understanding of the world clear and consistent.

I also wanted to make him the child of immigrants, but swerve away from the stereotype of the inflexible, emotionally unavailable first generation parents. They're not perfect, they are distant in how they respond to his sexuality, but it was important that they were smart, fairly progressive, kind people who clearly cared about their son and his happiness. I don't think a parent has to be wildly abusive to cause pain for their kid, sometimes they really are trying their best, and the kid knows they’re loved, but they still leave some sore spots to work through. I tried to take that approach with my characterization of Bruce too, actually.

A lantern ring is an incredibly powerful weapon, and Gotham doesn't usually feature characters that powerful, it doesn't fit the genre, and I knew that. So I kept him from training properly for the story so he was always struggling to figure out what he was doing as a way to not have to start him out with lantern-tier threats. On the note of the ring, I also was specific about countering the classic hypersexualized depictions of Star Sapphires, not out of any moral sensibilities (though I do suppose I’d feel odd putting a sixteen year old in a laser speedo), but because I wanted him to have to build the confidence to be showy if he even wanted that. His insecurities about his body are pretty standard stuff for any teenager, and while not a full on complex, I wanted to be a little realistic about what he was willing to wear. I wanted to emphasize that love is not just about attraction and sexuality…though yes, for him specifically those are factors. But specifically not the only places he draws power from. I like to think they all have a central love that they tether to, and branch from there. Were I to make another Star Sapphire after him, I would most likely go in a completely different direction and focus on a different facet of love to be the core of their power.

Anyway, so then I had "Gay Black Teen Boy from Gotham who is Nice Enough but Not Terribly Interested in Sticking His Neck Out." I then picked a life altering tragedy that was in some ways intended to mirror Bruce's and spark a similarly intense desire, but smaller and more focused in scope.

This may be hard to believe considering I made a character who is literally powered by love, but at that point I had no intention of having Conrad date anyone. The story initially was much more dour and lonely and I didn't anticipate a happy ending. It was going to be bittersweet at best, but tragedy was more likely. I changed my mind a number of times actually, frankly I think the fact that the story logically flows is amazing, because I was writing to at least four different goals over the course of it.

Damian made the most sense to me as a point canon character because of the ages I was going with, and how hard his personality contrasted Conrad's. I put them in the same school and tied him to the tragedy for convenience, honestly. I thought it would be interesting for Damian to be drawn in through his guilt and inability to leave a problem unsolved, and because of that grow to have a civilian friend who was disarming enough to not trigger his defenses, and THEN becomes wildly dangerous, so he'd already accepted him into his sphere and then had to deal with it. I...wrote them with more chemistry than I'd planned to (yes, Damian is a blorbo, I'll admit it okay), and suddenly it became less about the lore implications and impact on Gotham's power balance and more about whether or not either of them were capable of love anymore. For a long time the answer was no, their ill-considered hookup was supposed to hurt both of them to the point of closing off to each other...but I got to a point in my own developing worldview where writing that the answer is "Not everyone gets to get better" became untenable. And I didn't think that kind of pessimism even made sense for the story I'd written, its tone, and how I characterized Conrad and Damian.

He definitely developed as I wrote him. I generally only knew what I was doing two to three chapters in advance, so there was always some uncertainty, but I had a pretty good idea what drove Conrad early on, and knowing what he cared about was helpful. Sometimes when people talk about magic systems, they talk about creating a power ceiling and sticking to it. I kind of wanted to show you exactly what Conrad could be willing to do very early on, so there was always this question about where his center actually was. I assume you're up to date, so you saw the kind of darkness he could reach come up a few times, but notably always stopped before stepping completely off the path and into something more sinister. He's nice, he's so nice, and I wanted to show how nice isn't enough to build a moral framework on, and he's still figuring out what his actually is. That's going to continue being a theme for him even after the fic actually.

Somewhere in there it turned into an AU I wanted to explore more, and then I started projecting Conrad's arc further out, and I did make a few choices in service of that.

Anyway, on general character creation:

I think the most important thing is that a reader kind of understands what a character is about. Not that they should be predictable, but they should feel consistent enough that when you are surprised, you can think back and go "Oooh...no actually yeah, I see how that happened." And that only really happens when you as the writer know the core of what they care about. Conrad wants to feel Safe, and he wants to feel Accepted. That's universal stuff, but it's important because that's where his ambitions end. He doesn't know what he's going to be doing after high school, he doesn't think that far ahead. Darren was his world because he just doesn't think past the present. Because his desires are so simple, so primal, and become so painful for him, then I feel it logically follows that he's willing to break through what he thinks are his boundaries in order to achieve them. You can even threaten either of them separately, but when both are in jeopardy at once, he's willing to do just about anything really. So I as the author always knew what his tipping points were, and could sprinkle them around to watch him trip into them and hurt himself. I want the reader to be able to see where a scene is going and go "Oh. Oh no he's about to do something he'll regret." So consistency of desire is important, because it colors everything else. Then you can make him sacrifice those desires for something he's come to realize is more important, and boom, you have a cathartic/agonizing growth point and can recontextualize from there.

Themes are important for long work, but I like to figure out who the person is first and then pick a theme that they'd struggle with figuring out. Wonder Woman wouldn't struggle with any of this, and as such wouldn't make sense to explore the question through. I'm sure you can come up with a theme first, but I like starting with characters and figuring out what their story is.

Gender, sex, race, orientation, health status: These are all important to know, even if the story isn't about any of those things specifically, because every one of those details imply different experiences and invoke different stereotypes. So don't agonize, but do think about WHY you've made the character this way. Are you leaning on stereotypes? Have you accidentally recreated an unfortunate trope? I am a black writer, but even so, when writing a black character I need to be aware of what ideas I'm perpetuating. I wrote Conrad's anger the way I did specifically because I wanted to avoid supporting the image of an "angry black man," which doesn't mean that he cannot BE angry, but does mean that I need to be mindful of the way he is, and why.

There are a lot of spreadsheets and character question checklists and stuff out there, and I'm sure they're great for some people, but they irritate my ADHD and I feel like if I need to constantly refer back to what my character likes, especially my main character, then I don't have a strong enough sense of who they are, and I really need to, this is an OC, every decision I make is the only canon there will lever be, so I need to have a grip on what I want.

Don't be afraid to make them goofy. Conrad is so goofy, and it is part of why Damian becomes fond of him, but that's not why I made him like that. I made him offbeat and awkward (but not shy), to create a specific dynamic in his dialogue. He's not cool, he doesn't care about being cool, but he is still insecure, and that insecurity manifests in oversharing, in a certain shamelessness. He can't handle sitting with shame, his self esteem is too weak for that. So his lack of guile, and lack of panache are both fun quirks to help me differentiate his dialogue, but also important clues about how he takes things and then I can flatten those out when he's being serious, or scary. If a character starts out cool, and that's never challenged, then it's boring and you get into Mary Sue/Gary Stu territory. It's totally doable to start cool and then add nuance, but I think it's easier to start a little weird and then reveal why they're neat when the situation calls for it. My advice boils down to this: People love fuckups, they love humans, they even love monsters. The greatest sin is for someone to be boring, and being too sad or too perfect is boring. I have to let Batman have a sense of humor for that reason. 

Since creating Conrad I've also taken to picking some scenarios that people have a general standardized reaction to, making a different decision, then figuring out why that makes sense. Really early on I decided that he didn't get jealous easily, notably so, and worked out that it was partially because he doesn't feel entitled to anyone's attention, but also because if he loves someone, he wants them to be happy and that doesn't necessarily have to involve him. So figuring out that Jon had feelings for Damian didn't do anything to him, because, well, Jon is in the 8th grade, that would be ridiculous to feel threatened by at that point, but also because someone loving Damian that much to him is a good thing. He loves Damian, other people should too. Which is...kind of a good trait, if only it didn't stem so much from his lack of self-worth.

I think every character choice should be intentional. They don't all have to be deep, but the more specific you are, the more tools you have to play with, and the more ways you can twist them out of shape. When you make decisions and stick with them, you create limitations, and those limitations are where I think an interesting plot comes from.

Shockingly, I do have more thoughts, but I feel like this is already far more than you asked for, and I do need to finish chapter 12, so I’ll cut it here. 

Also…this ask truly made my evening, and as such I feel compelled to share a tease of how I plan to celebrate the completion of the fic.

Look at him go!

[breitzbachbea]

🙈🙉🙊for Robert!

HIM! (sexual AND murderous intent).

I mean, look at what @ironic-orange did with him. I am not immune to fictional toxic men.

OC Emoji Questions

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

Vulnerability. He will not let himself be perceived as potentially weak, be it physical or emotionally. He'll hide injuries or grit his teeth and keep going, even if he bitches. He'll never appear insecure in front of anyone. If he's lost control, he'll start raging trying to get it back - and even when other people don't perceive something he did as failure, if he will, he won't let it go and won't forgive himself. Even in his flirting he's never vulnerable and rarely ever was with romantic partners, even when he's sappy and corny he sees that as being in control, even if others may perceive it as being a sappy and lovestruck. (Those people, however, do not see that as flaw. Tahir is fond of Robert's doting attention and all the women who're into him think it's cute).

🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?

Won't stand for people messing with his friends. He doesn't have many principles but loyality and being a good leader is one of them. Now, he doesn't wear kid gloves with the subordinates or even the other two of the executive suite, but that only goes back to the previous answer. When good work's been done, he will pat you on the back and the tough loving IS loving.

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

"You're not a man, you're just a loser."

Robert's been a loser and a 'problem' for most of his life, being good at something and earning respect via violence is how he compensates. It's the reason why it hurts him so hard to fail. Being a 'man', being a good leader and effective right hand is all he got. What other good qualities are there in Robert Bailey? None, as far as he's often concerned.

This ask also made me rethink how I will have to approach his change of heart at the end of English Hunt. After the American story, when he's gotten his revenge on Charlie in such a way that made the Americans really upset with the English, he's getting the cold shoulder from the other two. Naturally, he stubbornly refuses to apologise and examine why he's in the wrong here ... until Edward Taylor, who got hurt, at the end asks him during a sick visit if he couldn't be less homophobic when he rightly rants about Charlie, because he's gay. In the past I always thought that Eddie, being the sweet golden boy he is, would just be vulnerable and honest and that sign of trust, that realization of betrayal on his part would make Robert reconsider. But that's unlikely with all that I laid out.

Instead, I think, Eddie and the others must have talked about telling Robert and when Eddie can't gather the courage to broach it, someone else must have intervened (like Eliza) and told Robert - well, that. "Sir, don't you the entire gay thing is tired. Eddie's gay and you're making it sound like that's Higgins only flaw. Don't you have better insults that doesn't make us embarassed of you?"

[cruiseshipmoment]

This might be a controversial take, but I think Luther tries to love Mac, but genuinely doesn’t know how.

From what we know he’s missed out on a lot of his sons life because he’s been in prison, and it’s put physical and emotional distance between them. Mac feels abandoned but maybe Luther feels abandoned too, even if he’s the one who essentially left his son without a father. Luther is shown to be very repressed emotionally, but when he is out of prison he does make the effort to build bridges with his son (and includes Charlie in that as well, likely only because he’s the friend of his son, which could’ve been so fascinating to explore in the show tbh) only to see his own actions end up putting him back in prison again—all because he couldn’t express the idea of making amends to others, or communicate his feelings or actions to Mac which ended up further driving them apart because Luther is so stuck in his own ways and Mac can’t trust him because because he doesn’t actually know him. Mac thinks his dad is a criminal. Luther was making positive steps forward, and ready to extend an olive branch to his only son, only for the rug to be pulled beneath him and discover that ‘oh, my son is afraid of me. He sees me as a criminal and believes I’m a bad person.’

It would be so hard not to hold onto that anger at both himself and towards Mac, who essentially just turned Luther’s attempts at redemption into a criminal act all because Luther himself wouldn’t let himself be vulnerable enough to be honest with his kid. Plus, to know your son is so scared of you that he would threaten to lie to keep you in prison? That he thinks you would take his life and the life of his friend—believes it with enough conviction he tries to stage his own death? That would feel so awful, knowing you’ve wronged your child this severely and that they in turn have tried to defend themselves from that pain by going on the offense and trying to hurt you first by sabotaging your chance at parole and at freedom? How do you come back from that from either of their perspectives?

But then we find out that Luther wrote to him, consistently, and we never know what he said because Dennis doesn’t tell him. All that pain and distance between two people and once again Luther is trying to bridge the gap and send out a chance for them to be redeemed to one another and have a father-son relationship. He might not say he loves Mac in those exact words, but it must mean something to keep writing to him even when he wasn’t getting anything in return. How long did he send letters only to never have anything returned? Did he think Mac didn’t get them? Did he think Mac got them but didn’t care? When did he give up on receiving a response and send his final letter?

And then we have Mac, who thinks his dad hates him. He can’t reach out because he feels responsible for putting him back behind bars. He is afraid that if he is his true self that his father won’t like what he sees. He doesn’t know if his dad hates him or if he ever thinks about him at all and all that time Luther had been doing what he could to close the rift between them.

We don’t know almost anything about the letters, and I wish we got some follow up to that. There is so much miscommunication and misunderstanding and pain between two men who should have been integral players in one another’s lives—and they are, but not how they should have been, you know? They’re both grieving for what they’ve lost. Mac lost a father, but Luther lost a son, too.

And then Mac shows up one day, out of the blue, and makes the public declaration that he’s gay. Luther didn’t have a moment to process that, or the privacy to do it, and basically he just sees his son show up after years without contact—with a surrogate father, no less, who has gotten to be privileged to seeing Luther’s son grow up and become a man and become His own person. And Luther didn’t get any of that. He’s the last to find out his son is gay, without any sort of warning, and he is expected to make some kind of declaration to that; to love his son anyways despite their tangled history and such a fractured relationship. Mac has come to tell him something important, because he is his father, but Luther hasn’t actually been his ‘dad’ for the majority of his life. He can’t repair ages of loss and absence in one sitting. So he walks away. He doesn’t say anything, but the action itself speaks loudly anyways.

Then there’s Luther’s own childhood, drug abuse/addiction, the criminal background that he’s always had and the hyper-masculinity that is probably all he’s ever known. The strength and stoicism required of his environment being met with the earnest and hopeful personality of his son. I’m sure there’s some envy there, too, to the freedom that Mac has with his feelings and emotions, even if we know that even Mac has such a limited outlet and willingness to acknowledge and express things. Plus the religious trauma and how that might effect both Mac and his dad.

I feel like Luther would see the worst of himself in Mac; whether that be in softness or in hardness. It’s hard to love a mirror of yourself, sometimes.

Idk if I explained my perspective clearly, but I think there is a lot of pain but also a lot of love between them both. They just don’t have the tools or the history required to understand each other and meet in the middle. They don’t know how to love themselves in their entirety, so they hate the versions of themselves that they see in each other. Idk I just think Luther is very repressed and even if he is a horrible father and a terrible man I really believe he is trying to learn how to love his son from a distance with the tools he has because being close to one another only leads to more hurt.

They’re so interesting to me. I want to much more content between the Mac family and a closer look at the dynamics of it all because there are so many ways to read everything we’ve seen between them.

Please tell me your perspective on this, I would love to hear whether you agree or disagree on my interpretation of them!

This is an interesting interpretation, and it's a much more generous one for Luther than I would think of. However, from what we see, I don't think this is true.

We know from "Mac Kills his Dad" that Luther was a distant parent even when he was around. Mac says Luther couldn't possibly have killed someone, since his "bad shoulder" meant he could never play catch with Mac and also couldn't possibly decapitate a guy with a stop sign. The tone with which Luther says "Riiiight" makes it clear that was a lie. Even when child Mac tried to connect with his dad in a hypermasculinity-approved way, Luther wouldn't engage. Catch is not an overtly emotional commitment. Plenty of emotionally repressed people can manage it.

Unfortunately, from Luther's later behavior, Mac is right to be afraid of him in "Mac and Charlie Die." Decapitating a guy with a stop sign takes a lot of rage coupled with some level of calculation. It's not a thing you can do on accident or a split-second impulse, like a gunshot. Also, in "Mac Finds His Pride" we learn that Luther cut out a guy's tongue for tattling on him. "Mac and Charlie Die" was Luther on a very good day. It could have so easily gone a different direction. There's maybe a case to be made for his time in prison contributing to the violent behavior, but since Mac was terrified from the get-go, I don't think the violence came out of nowhere.

We do know a little bit about the letters. Per Dennis, "He never once said he loved you," and, "He mostly just wanted you to send him pornographic magazines and put drugs in your butthole." This very much says that Luther just wants Mac to help him out, not build any sort of connection with him. I don't think Dennis is lying, because these are the same requests we've seen Luther make previously. It's a pattern.

By "Mac Finds His Pride," Luther has completely written his son off before we even get to the coming out scene. When he thinks Mac got someone pregnant, he says "There's hope for you yet. Not with your life, of course, but with the life of your son." He only values Mac for his potential to give him a grandson who might be better able to adhere to Luther's standards of behavior.

Luther waited until Mac was looking at him to walk out. He did so calmly and with an incredibly cold look on his face. That's not a man who got overwhelmed, panicked, and left. That's an awful, calculated "Fuck you." He didn't have to make a public sappy declaration. He just had to sit and watch. Mac is so starved for unconditional love that he would have been happy with Luther saying something as bland as, "Okay, son."

All of Luther's behavior, put together, screams "I love you, but only when you behave exactly the way I want you to." He wants a prop or a puppet, not a real son. Especially not a son like Mac, who has a lot of complicated feelings and needs.

And I'm sure you're right that Luther's own upbringing fucked him up. There's definitely trauma there, since apparently Grandpa McDonald effectively shunned Uncle Donald for being gay. Luther definitely learned that love is conditional from his own childhood. Luther's had sex with a man at least once, so there's a good chance there's internalized homophobia at work too.

Luther does love his son, but in a conditional way. And that's exactly what fucked Mac up so bad. Mac spent decades bending over backwards to be the son Luther wanted, and in the end it still wasn't enough.

[arcane-vagabond]

😂🥹

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists? (I'm assuming you meant this one lol)

Honestly? The alley scene in DHTN. If I could go back, I'd rewrite that in a heart beat. I don't think it really makes sense to have in terms of plot, or at the very least, I'd go back and explore the aftermath of feelings afterwards.

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels? (Again, I assume you meant this one lol)

I don't know if you can tell by the "Everything about my writing," but I absolutely LOVE when the man is the one in his feelings and the one who persues the girl in a non-threatening kind of way. I love when men are the emotionally vulnerable ones and are just so soft for the girl they like/love and are so honest with her.

I also really love when couples tease each other or OH!!! GAZING INTO EACH OTHERS EYES DURING A CHARGED MOMENT????

Send me an emoji!

[chateautangerine]

character sheet.

full name: quincy clifford bailey. nickname: cliff (practically exclusively). quinn, quinny. alias: none. pronouns: he/him. height: 5'10". age: 34. zodiac: dragon, cancer. spoken languages: english.

physical characteristics.

hair: blonde and long to about the start of his jaw. straight, curling/rolling at the end. facial hair: none, clean shaven. his facial hair is a darker blonde than the hair on his head. he grows facial hair easily. eyes: large, sky blue eyes, almost sleepy, quiet, or soft, occasionally with a slight puffiness. there's a sweetness to them, although i wouldn't consider cliff himself sweet. skin tone: fair but not pale. he can tan. body type: average build and weight. he does not exercise regularly and has a softer middle. voice: he has a regional dallas accent and is notably soft- or sweet-voiced, perhaps spacey or often with a wistful lilt. not deep. cliff never raises his voice and, when particularly low, he croaks. sounds like owen wilson. dominant hand: left. posture: mostly very casual—hands in pockets, arms folded. he can sink deep in chairs or lean an elbow on one arm [of a chair] with his legs crossed. he often does not take up space or assert his presence. scars: none. birthmarks: none. must notable features: crooked nose. it was broken twice.

childhood.

place of birth: dallas, texas. hometown: dallas, texas. siblings: none. parents: roger bailey (father) and charlotte bailey (mother).

adult life.

occupation: author. current residence: dependent. close friends: none. he has a lot of acquaintances, but no strong relationship with any substance. financial status: middle. driver's license: yes. he drives a white 1964 austin-healey 3000 series iii. financial status: middle. criminal record: nothing appalling and only driving infractions like speeding, blowing red lights, a couple of duis. he once got called for driving his car into someone's garden. vices: smoking, alcohol, and psychedelics drugs like dmt, psilocybin, and mescaline. praise—he craves and needs to feel encouraged and seen.

love and romance.

sexual orientation: insofar as experiences go, he has only slept with women and has only ever felt a particular want to sleep with women. he would be open to sleeping with other men, but it's never happened. i'd consider him more hetero, but not absolutely and strictly. preferred emotional role: no preference. i don't even believe cliff plays any role. he tends to not deal with emotions whether they're his own or someone else's. he can be emotionally unavailable. preferred sexual role: switch. turn offs: aggression and antagonism, lack of consideration, belittling and mocking. tactlessly and bluntly honest. love languages: to receive: physical touch, quality time (even if it's shared silence), and words of affirmation. to give: physical touch and quality time. relationship tendencies: he can fall easily for anyone who gives him positive attention, praise, or validation, and he almost never verbally admits to being in love until the relationship has broken off—he's terrible with genuine and threatening emotional vulnerability and will avoid being in a position where he can be extremely hurt. for that same reason, when he gets too close, he can suddenly pull away. "ghosting"? this can be hard for people to pick up on, too. he's so spacey and is inherently, to a degree, emotionally removed or subdued.

miscellaneous.

character theme tune: "gymnopédies no. 1" by erik satie. hobbies to pass time: writing. reading. drinking and substance use, occasionally with tennyson or fernando pessoa. driving or aimlessly cruising in his car. takes roping lessons, like lassoing and wrangling cattle on horseback (he's a hobbyist and can't compete. he can mainly only rope dummies while stationary on his own two feet). wine tasting. left- or right-brained: right. self-confidence level: low.

tagged by: @godpyre and @indeath (ty!) tagging: @vilestblood, @vullcanica (any), @lykaiia, @ohshadow, @sparrowsfall, @tewwor (any), @vanishinq

[gloriousprincesscreature]

This is how I spend a weekend

I watched Minority Report on Friday night although I had a strong hunch that I would Not Like it, because Tom Cruise is smoking hot in it. Turns out, I did not like it, but Tom Cruise was hot. Absolutely no regrets.

And then I spent the entire Saturday thinking about the blocking and set design in Minority Report, woke up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep. So I went back and watched thirty more minutes of grey dreck just so that I could stare at Tom's beautiful face and on Sunday morning I am exhausted.

Now its 3pm on Sunday and ... I am rewatching the rest of Minority Report because TC is positively glowing in every shot he appears in.

I don't know what it is about this guy, there's just something magical that draws the eye to his face at the exclusion of everything else on the screen.

Observation 1: He can do the subtle eyes shimmering with tears really well. We don't even know what really happened with John's son the first two times this expression appears and I am already sad because I'm empathizing Hard, and hey, I am a deeply unemotional person due to being dead inside. OCD and a lousy job will do that to a person. But I'm also terribly, terribly aroused. The script is thin with regard to John's character but TC's vulnerability and the thin, almost bruised-looking skin under his eyes just Does Things to me.

Observation 2: He can't convey anger with depth. It's just shouting.

SPOILERS AHEAD. If you can even spoil a twenty year old movie. Maybe with expensive vacations and designer lingerie. I'm too poor to have ever tried.

Observation 3: The movie is better on a second watch. I can mentally filter out the silly comedic/action elements that should not have been there in the first place. Without them it's a straight up neo-noir in the vein of LA Confidential. Just as in LA Confidential, there's a Twink (Danny Witwer/Colin Farrell), an evil authority figure, and a beautiful, deeply tormented, emotionally repressed cop.

Observation 4: TC's eyebrows and hair have never looked better.

Observation 5: John Anderton is in love with Lamar Burgess. Of this much I am sure. He saves his only real smile for Lamar and ... hahahaha ... we all know what happens next.

I'm replaying bits of this compulsively. Something intensely fucked up and loving happened between these two men.

"Remember, the eyes ... the eyes of the nation are on us right now. And we both know, I'm not the generation anyone listens to, but people trust you, John. When you speak of your absolute belief in pre-crime, they know its a belief born of pain, not politics. I always understood that, and I may have even encouraged it, to help with the cause. [Deep sigh] But now, your pain is hurting both of us."

Lamar meets John eyes briefly before looking away. John has been looking at Lamar the whole time. John continues to gaze at Lamar with so. much. Love. Concern. And all these feelings just getting in the way of what is So Obvious to Us. Lamar is hiding something. John is honest.

"They're not gonna take it away from us. [long pause. Continues to stare into the face of his Beloved/Teacher/Saviour/Master. Makes a vow] I won't let them."

We stay with this moment for awhile before cutting away (BUT NOT LONG ENOUGH). Which is (still) lovely and a lot of modern films don't do this.

I think, I think this is the most intimate, personal interaction in this movie. Minority Report is poxy with zooming camera, overbearing soundtrack, office environments. But when Lamar and John speak, its quiet and the camera just stops fucking around and doesn't get in the way.

Max von Sydow is class. He's inherently slinky and he purrs.

These two minutes hold the seeds (or fragments? fragments) of a much better movie.

At this moment, I don't know if Tom Cruise can Act, but that face was carved by the Gods.

*deep sigh*

I can't finish the rewatch.

[newagesispage]

                                                               FEBRUARY    2025 

THE RIB PAGE 

 Jimmy Carter was given a wonderful proper send off. The catafalque that Carter’s casket was put upon, also held Lincoln’s coffin. The day was like a 9 or10 hour odyssey for those of us watching all the way thru. The family was probably physically and emotionally exhausted by the end of the day. Nearly every speech and remembrance made mention of the current Scary Clown 45 situation. 2 men could not be more different than Trump and Carter. Carter is all love and strength and character and Trump is all about fear and power. It was refreshing to hear about a genuine good man who restored faith in government with ethics reform. It is especially poignant as we watch Trump tear things down. It was wonderful to hear about the more than 4,400 homes in 14 countries that the Carters helped to build. The Deacon (his secret service name) made the cross, the collection plates and tables and chairs at his hometown Maranatha Baptist church. The image of all the living Presidents always gets me. The words from Josh Carter and Jack Ford truly affected me. Andrew Young sent such a heartfelt message. Jason Carter is such a natural and we might want to see him run for office. The Carter’s are such a closeknit and real and wonderful family. Let’s hope they have the next political dynasty in America. An honest, caring, truly charitable dynasty would be a nice change. Trump and Melania seemed very bored. Trisha and Garth performing ‘Imagine’ sent me into sobs. We miss U already Mr. President. Rest in Peace. ** Also, special shout out to Karen Pence and the Navy.  

***** 

We all giggled as we were told about the Carter’s and their land line and the way they hang up baggies to recycle. I know this behavior.  I have always been surrounded by it. I am sure Trump could not relate at all. Did he feel like a lesser man when he heard of all carter’s accomplishments? ** It does seem a bit apocalyptic with the fires in the west and record snow in the south. It is so cold that the inauguration was moved into the Capitol. How is that for irony? Reagan was the last to move indoors in 1985. He is quite elderly so it probably wasn’t safe for him out there. Obama had freezing weather and he had big crowds outside. Word is that attendance was not going to be as huge as Trump expected but we will never know. In the end, it was the smallest inauguration crowd ever. That will be associated with him forever. Why couldn’t he touch the Bible? Did he think it would burn his hand?* * The most disrespectful thing of all is interrupting mourning so the flags will be high on the pole for inauguration day. Half the country will show the 47th the same respect. ** Was Billy Ray and the Village people at the inaugural just about the saddest thing you ever saw? At least I have never given any of the artists from the parties a penny of my money. It will stay that way, they don’t need my $ anyway, I am sure Trump is taking good care of them. 

***** 

Help! Our country is being held hostage by a fanatical criminal and half of us want it that way. What? 

***** 

Literally nothing is as MAGA as watching a bunch of self-righteous frauds who pretend to give a damn about Christianity, viciously attacking a minister who preached about caring for the vulnerable while their rapist- felon Messiah scoffed at her. - John Pavlovitz 

***** 

The fire Marshall wouldn’t allow his hand on the Bible. - Stephen Colbert 

***** 

At least 3 states already have roads named after Trump and more are on the way. 

***** 

With live sports on deck, Netflix will just keep going up. ** Netflix is bringing us a new Little House on the Prairie. The right is already bitching. 

***** 

Anthony Fauci’s security detail was pulled. He will now hire private security. 

***** 

Can’t wait to see Sly Lives! from Questlove!!!!!!!! Questlove did a great job on the 50 year SNL music special!!! I know there were lots to cover but no Scissor Sisters, Rickie Lee or Leon Redbone?? What? 

***** 

Sara Haines said that her father was hot and everybody freaked. Why? Some people have hot parents and nobody ever lets them forget. 

***** 

Re: The Capitol.. Good thing his followers already know how to get inside. - Dan’s Cafe ** The funny thing was they couldn’t get in because Trump knows how easy it was to breach so he made sure HE was safe. Most of the fans who were interviewed outside did not look elite enough to actually get close to the man. All he wanted was their votes. Even the screens were taken down. It is reported that he did meet with a group of supporters after the initial event.** Say what you will about the racists, they sure do know how to organize. 

***** 

Why didn’t Trump have to pay for all the property damage to the capitol? We make a man President and he does not have to pay for his crimes. Half the country wants there to be 2 sets of rules. The mental illness in this country is out of control. 

***** 

The real heroes from this month are AOC, Rev. Mariann Budde and Pamela Hemphill. AOC said she would not go to the inauguration because she does not celebrate rapists. Pamela told Trump to keep his pardon because she committed the crime and was glad she paid her dues. Meteorologist Sam Kuffel called out Musk as a Nazi in a private place and was fired from WDJT in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Rehire that brave girl. Oh right.. The call letters are D(onald)J(ohn)T(rump). I guess she is out of luck. Rev. Budde of the Washington National Cathedral asked the President to have mercy for those that are scared right now. The Vice President rolled his eyes and Trump has been bitching ever since. That poor woman will probably never have a moments peace again. It is women who are showing back bone and fighting back. Unity is not partisan. When compassion is a bad thing, it is proof that so many don’t understand the love of God. 

***** 

The course of human events, even the greatest historical events, is determined ultimately not by the leaders, but by the common, ordinary people. Their hopes and dreams, their doubts and fears, their courage and tenacity, their quiet commitments determine the destiny of the world. - Jimmy Carter 

***** 

Our nation now has no understandable national purpose. We move from one crisis to the next as if they were fads, even though the previous one hasn’t been solved. - Jimmy Carter 

***** 

Shouldn’t we have schoolchildren read Jimmy carter (ex: Why not the best?) to see how Government should be run. He called for honesty, integrity, fairness, liberty, courage, patriotism, compassion and love. I am so sick of fighting the same fights. Equality should be a given. It is so simple. Ignorance and arrogance and greed keep rising to the top over and over.  

***** 

Word is that The Stones will tour Europe soon. 

***** 

People thought eggs were high before but with the Trump administration in, they are up over 35%. 

***** 

Trevor Noah will host the Grammy’s again! 

***** 

The Black Eyed Peas have cancelled their Vegas residency before it even began. 

***** 

Can we give David Alan Grier some love this year at the Emmy’s?? ** Episode 9 of St. Denis was a perfect show. They have found their groove. 

***** 

Conan will receive the Mark Twain prize for American humor. 

***** 

Vivek Ramaswami is thinking about running for Gov. Of Ohio. He will not be serving in the DOGE. I guess they are going to try and take over everywhere so they never lose again. The criminals are everywhere! 

***** 

Vince McMahan has to pay $400,000 to settle SEC charges. 

***** 

The reboot of Frasier was cancelled. 

***** 

Roy Wood Jr. has brought us Lonely Flowers. ** Also look for Roy in ‘Outcome’ with Keanu Reeves, Jonah Hill, Cameron Diaz, David Spade, Laverne Cox, Susan Lucci and Matt Bomer. 

***** 

The National Society of film critics have given some awards to Nickel Boys, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Colman Domingo, Michele Austin and Kieran Culkin, just to name a few. 

***** 

The public domain is now open for Hitchcock’s first sound film, Blackmail as well as The Wild Party, The Karnival Kid, the song, Singing in the Rain, the poem, an American in Paris, John Ford’s first sound film, The Black Watch, Buster Keaton’s last silent film, Spite Marriage, the first sound film to win the best pic Oscar, The Broadway Melody, the first Marx Brothers feature, The Cocoanuts, the books A farewell to Arms, Red Harvest, the Maltese Falcon, the play Rope, the animated Skeleton Dance, Popeye, Bolero, Ain’t Misbehavin’, Rhapsody in Blue, Shreveport Stomp, It had to be you and California, here we come. 

***** 

Days alert: It was nice to see a party full of secrets at the DiMera mansion. It was like old times but with young major players. ** It was hilarious and shocking when Bonnie fell down the elevator shaft. I like how they are getting ridic and crossing the soap lines with fake soap lines. Just when I was ready to give up on Heart and Soul, things got interesting. ** I heard that Thaao is coming back!!!! Yes!!!! ** More Rachel with Rachel. I have always wanted to get into Kristen’s birth family more. Love it!!!!! ** How did Marlena and Leo become such buddies? Funny. ** So glad to see Patrika Darbo in her latest interviews.** On my.. Rita Leslie is back for a minute! Just when you think you have seen the last of her, there she is. Gotta love a soap! 

***** 

Costco may go on strike on Feb. 1. ** And hooray for Costco standing up for their DEI program with no help from Kentucky. Now we are hearing about raises. 

***** 

Warwick Davis will receive the BAFTA fellowship on Feb. 16. 

***** 

The Oscar noms are here and they include Kieran Culkin, Jeremy Strong, Conclave, A Complete Unknown, Wicked, Emilia Perez, The Substance, Colman Domingo, Wallace and Gromit: Vengeance most foul, Timothee Chalamet, Adrien Brody, Cynthia Erivo, Sebastian Stan, Demi Moore, Fernanda Torres, The Brutalist, Nickel Boys, Nosferatu, Isabella Rossellini and Ed Norton. Honorary awards will go to Quincy Jones and Juliet Taylor. The Jean Hersholt humanitarian award goes to Richard Curtis and the Irving Thalberg award will go to Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson. Watch on March 2 with host Conan!!! ** Old tweets are haunting Emilia Perez. Hate will get you nowhere. 

***** 

Insurance companies are getting no love right now with the CEO shooting and the disregard apparently being shown to victims of the wildfires.  

***** 

CBS is bringing us Beyond the Gates with Clifton Davis and Tamara Tunie. I am in!!!!! 

***** 

A rare yellow cardinal was spotted in St. Louis. 

***** 

Joe Biden gave out some Presidential citizens medals to Liz Cheney, Chris Dodd, Ted Kaufman, Nancy Kassebaum, Bill Bradley, Carolyn McCarthy, Mary Bonauto, Frank Baker Jr., Bobb Sager, Eleanor Smeal, Tom Vallely, Frances Visco, Paula Wallace, Evan Wolfson, Mitsuye Endo Tsutsumi, Joseph Galloway, Louis Lorenzo Redding and Judge Collins J. Seitz ** Medals of freedom went to Denzel Washington, Michael J. Fox, Bono, Anna Wintour, Ralph Lauren, Magic Johnson, Jose’ Andres, Hillary Clinton, Jane Goodall, Bill Nye and George Romney. ** Biden also dedicated 2 new National monuments, Chuckwalla and Sattitla, protecting Tribal lands in California. Trump, previously rolled back National monument protection reducing acreage in Utah. Biden restored those boundaries. ** Biden claims he probably would have won. Time to be quiet. 

***** 

It seemed to take some doing but Mike Johnson was voted back into leading the house for the 119th congress but he does have a weak hold on the hammer. 

***** 

Stop making stupid people famous. * Hate never made any nation great. - Banksy ** Have you seen all the artwork? GO BANKSY!! 

***** 

There is now The Weekend View. ** John Fetterman sure used a lot of ‘Aw shucks’ attitude on his View appearance. I think it is time for him to move on. Enough with his double talk. He never sounded more like a true politician. With every line, he got less applause. Nobody is buying his schtick. 

***** 

Wendy’s is bringing us a thin mint frosty. 

***** 

No hot dogs in North Korea?? 

***** 

Just one more thing about the election. I couldn’t help but think of Carter’s malaise speech when Harris was telling us we aren’t afraid of hard work. I loved hearing her say we had to roll up our sleeves and work hard. How did I not realize that half the country does not want to hear that? They didn’t want to take responsibility for their shit in the 70’s and they don’t want to now. I guess they only want a barrage of lies so they can live in denial. 

***** 

The 41st Sundance Film Fest will go on from Jan 23 to Feb 2 with 90 features. 

***** 

I am always thinking social media is good and bad as it goes with most things. When I see Tik Tok in court and the damage on X and FB, it is hard to see the good right now. Online scams are out of control. It is a plus to look up information that may save a life or save $. It is a good thing for the criminals addicted to their phones to get caught because law enforcement can track them. Every huge innovation needs time to sort it out. It does seem that the Republicans want to make us as stupid as possible. Throw away the department of education and keep Tik Tok. Really? Take food out of the mouths of the hungry and keep the rich tax breaks coming. Really? 

***** 

I was glad that Kimmell pointed out Tom Brady and his preference for studs. I was a bit distracted by that. 

***** 

Tucker Carlson’s son, Buckley is joining Vance’s team.  

***** 

The Golden Globes were a hit. I admit, I am not really a Nikki Glaser fan but she knocked it out of the park. She was very funny with minimal hurt to the egos. Winners included Kieran Culkin, Zoe Saldana, Ali Wong, Emilia Perez, Jodie Foster, Demi Moore, Jean Smart, Hacks, Shogun, Wicked and Adrian Brody. My best dressed were Mary Steenburgen, Kate Winslet, Kieran and Jazz, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Garfield, Angelina and Zahara, Michelle Yeow, Tilda Swinton, Anya Taylor-Joy, Kathy Bates, Erin Foster, Paul W. Downs, Jackie Sandler, Jeff Goldblum, Maren Morris and Dakota Fanning. I think Seth Rogan and Catherine O’Hara should be tapped to host something. They were great together. ** I lost half a nipple. - Catherine O’Hara 

***** 

Macy’s, Jo Ann Fabrics and Kohls are closing stores. Walgreens are closing about 450 stores. 

***** 

Trump continues to disappoint. - Sebastian Stan 

***** 

New Years Day left us trying to figure out the New Orleans attacks. Many blamed an illegal immigrant. WRONG! ** I wish the coasts would keep in mind that the extremes are in power now but most of us are somewhere in the middle. 

***** 

Will the Hollywood squares go on forever?  

***** 

The Songwriters Hall of Fame is bringing in The Doobie Brothers, George Clinton, Ashley Gorley, Rodney Jerkins, Mike Love and Tony Macaulay. 

***** 

Jack Smith resigned for the DOJ. 

***** 

The L.A. fires are a tragedy and we send love to them all. We will never know the names of so many of those that lost homes or family members. But many famous people also lost homes like Paris Hilton, Billy Crystal, Jeff Bridges, Cary Elwes, Ricki Lake and Melissa Rivers. The Hollywood sign survived. Quit blaming others when you seem to have no idea what you are talking about. My own ears heard a bar patron tell others bogus info about fire trucks from other states. This was a story lifted directly from Fox news. He also stated that people in California deserve what they get because of the people they elected to run their state. I hope he keeps this in mind when the Trump administration wreaks its havoc. Did half the country forget how to think for themselves? ** And while I am at it, why are there still Trump flags everywhere? The election is over. Do they think they will forget his name? Give it a rest. Are these the same folks that leave up the X-mas decorations til Valentines day? ** UPDATE: A few days after I wrote this, I happened to drive by a town that is known for its racism and sure enough there was a yard full with Trump and Christmas paraphernalia at the end of January. These are the same folks. ** Some are saying that trump is cool to many people. What? The man is a joke. Yes, a joke that could leave us with serious consequences but still a joke. It is like Jethro was given the White House except at least Jethro had a heart and he wasn’t a Nazi. 

***** 

You can become the President of the US as a felon! - Joe Exotic 

*****  

The ratings for Late Night with Seth are up.  

***** 

Zendaya is engaged to Tom Holland. ** Caitlin Hale wed Angelo Massagali. 

***** 

The Pope called nuns, “vinegar faces” and told them not to gossip. 

***** 

Beyond SNL should be a series. They have enough material. 

***** 

Chuck Todd is out at NBC. 

***** 

We seem to have a cease fire in Gaza. Some say it is thanks to both administrations. 

***** 

If you want religion in schools, I want the IRS in churches- Comrade Sisko 

***** 

A$AP Rocky is on trial for 2 felony assault charges from 2021. He is also hosting the Met Gala in May along with Anna Wintour, Lewis Hamilton, Pharrell Williams and LeBron James. 

***** 

A judge ordered My Pillow to pay $778,000 to delivery service, DHL. ** Rudy Giuliani was held in contempt again. Was he just waiting for Scary Clown to take office and all of his $ issues would just disappear? Do any of these people pay their bills? In the end, Rudy agreed to stop defaming Ruby Freeman and Wadrea Moss. He gets to keep his property and the next trial is dismissed. Done? 

***** 

Trudeau resigned. ** Will President Musk leave the other countries alone? He is apparently at every meeting at Mar A Lago. Does he think he runs the world now that he has Trump in his pocket? Probably so. ** Isn’t it ridic that they are creating different departments when they said they would be downsizing? The ERS? What? That is customs, we already have that. Just more money spent. Is Musk going to pay for all this if we can get him away from microdosing for a minute? And these are not real departments, they are made up. Congress creates Government departments. ** The confirmation hearings are pretty disgusting. More Tammy Duckworth please!! An affidavit was sent to the Senate alleging violence from Pete Hegseth. It was sent from his former sis in law, Danielle. It didn’t matter. He was confirmed. Kristi Noem is in and already making no sense. Each pick is more rancid than the last! ** Doctors are urging the Senate to reject RFK Jr. 

***** 

Gavin Newsom met with Trump and seemed to kiss ass. That does seem to be the new normal. Trump says terrible things about you and then you have to smile and take it so you can help your people. Why is the President still wearing a MAGA hat? Isn’t America better yet? 

***** 

Re: Trump and veterans: They’re just trying to make money off the backs of veterans. - Tammy Duckworth 

***** 

After the plane disaster, Trump couldn’t wait to blame everyone else. Gee, when you fire all the safety folks, like head of the FAA, things could happen. ** META has to pay $25 mil to the President. ** The new FCC Chief is investigating NPR and PBS. Saw that coming. 

***** 

President Musk wants to bring smart, talented people from other countries to have our jobs. Why not give proper funding to the gifted programs in this country so our own can have those great jobs? ** Perhaps he should be worried about his failed rocket and exploding vehicles and leave the rest of us alone. ** The congressional budget office says that the tax cuts alone will cost about $5trillion. Is Musk gonna cover that cost? ** It seems that the Presidents are already trying to work out a 3rd term. ** The U.S. has paused most foreign aid. 

***** 

Donald Trump has let ignorance flourish. It’s time to fight back. - Rex Huppke ** Melania is so uncomfortable. - Isaac Mizrahe ** Scary Clown was given an unconditional discharge on all charges for the hush money trial. I’ll bet those jurors feel like fools. What a waste of their time. The same goes for all the Jan. 6ers. All the time and money it took to punish the offenders is just wasted. The lesson is that if you want to kill law enforcement be sure that you put on a MAGA hat first. I guess that Trump hates police. ** I suppose it will be an interesting experiment to see who they kill next. Should Pence go into hiding? **Let’s not forget that he also gave full pardons to Andrew Zabavsky and Terence Sutton. They were involved in the death of Hylton Brown and then covered it up. It is a good thing that Manson and Gacy are passed or we’d probably have them on the loose again. ** Just the release of all these criminals should be enough for impeachment. It is a public safety concern to have him in office. ** Funny how Trump said he would instantly fix everything. Now he complains that he was left a mess and he can’t just fix it. The coffers should be empty by the time he leaves, the way he is spending, if he leaves. He is freezing and unfreezing stuff funds and rules. Anything for the chaos! ** About 17 Inspectors General were pushed out. 

***** 

Over 100 years later, it seems like Trump is our Titanic (or Lusitania). It has taken less than 100 years for the NAZI’s to take back power. The spirit of Hitler is back with Musk’s Nazi salute and Stuart Rhodes in for muscle. The Oath Keeper abused his own family. What might he do to us?  Since half of the country is fine with it, why don’t they just admit what they are? Why so afraid? ** It was so sad to see 30 miles of black fence around Washington for the inauguration. Violence makes the world a little less beautiful every day in so many ways. Tik Tok dude was there next to Tulsi Gabbard. Bezos, Zuckerberg and Nazi leader, Musk, the Unholy Trinity were on full display on Jan. 20. I guess this proves what a regular guy Scary Clown is. Hooray to the women who refused to come like Karen Pence, AOC, Pelosi and Michelle. Was it a thorn in his side that the Clintons showed up? Hope so. It seems like those folks that played at inaugural events and participated in celebrations make it clear that they don’t care what the rest of us think. They seem to have the same narcissistic bone as their Presidential friend. Where was that stupid garbage truck?   In only a few days, the rich are already a lot richer. ** I don’t understand why Trump never wants anything released since he makes it clear that he does no wrong. The most unhappy man in the world is back to bitching about water pressure and wind turbines. Why is he the only one with water pressure issues? I suppose it is a priority because it only affects him. ** Did anyone see the pic of all the MAGA hats in Greenland? It turns out that Don Jr. gave them to homeless people and told them to wear them for a photo op and they would get a free meal.  

***** 

Re: RFK Jr.: He is a predator. - Caroline Kennedy ** Of course, the Republicans seem to like that sort of thing, he is probably a shoe in now. It makes me a bit sick to see Cheryl Hines standing by her dickhead of a man. 

***** 

Turn the valve back towards Los Angeles/ When you’re a rich person, you like to take a shower. - Scary Clown 45&47 

***** 

The hundreds of executive orders being signed will turn our country over to litigation for the next 4 years and nothing will get accomplished. The Nazi dictators will stop at nothing to take the country backwards. Is it that they can’t feel like real men unless they take everybody else’s rights away? They do not seem strong enough to actually participate in life unless the deck is stacked against the rest of us. Weak! This mixed- up obsession they seem to have with fear and respect is textbook. We need to tell the man every day that he is not a king until he believes it. ** Kicking out career diplomats, allowing only 2 genders, release of the JFK, RFK and MLK files and bringing down FEMA are just the beginning. It will take months to even figure out all the damage since they are so shady. And we are not safe with all the violent criminals he is letting out. Many of the Republican office staff suggest that they are afraid for themselves and their families if they speak out. He wants to dismantle everything good that his predecessors have done. The lawsuits are already started. The President signed a ‘memo’ to bring down inflation. He is also a fan of the private prison since his friends can make big $ on that. ** Dr. Phil and actual bounty hunters seem to be in the chase for illegal immigrants. 

***** 

I was his biggest defender the entire election season and now his billionaire administration official, Musk is trying to strip me of thousands of dollars of subscriber revenue that I use to fund my independent journalism. It’s outrageous. I worked my ass off to help Trump and now I’m being retaliated against, censored and deliberately financially attacked. - Laura Loomer 

***** 

Mexico and Colombia are turning planes of possible immigrants away but then there are threats and now a continuing expensive mess. 

***** 

Tik Tok is a national security risk- Rep. MIke Turner 

***** 

How funny is it that Susan Markowski is surprised that trump let the criminals out of prison. Other republicans are playing stupid too. Are they deaf or have some mental issues?  It is clear that they don’t mind looking stupid as long as they have power. It is like the Klan does not work quite as well in small factions but put them all together and we are fucked. ** Menthol cigarettes will not be banned. There is no more Denali or Gulf of Mexico for the Republicans. Everybody else will still call them their real names. There are firings and withholding of funds and it will keep going. It is like Jefferson Davis Pickett is a real person. He even gives that same smirk of disapproval, always sour. Trump takes Andrew Jackson’s quote very seriously: To the victor belongs the spoils. The man does not understand that one looks stronger and smarter when they hire competent people.  

***** 

The Washington Post claims an aide working for Mike Johnson persuaded Republicans not to issue a subpoena for former WH aide Cassidy Hutchinson at the Jan. 6 committee. It is said that they feared it could expose the sexual texts many of them had sent her. 

***** 

New Press Secretary, Karoline Leavitt is just another delusional Trumper. He does seem to love to put young women out there and watch them say wonderful things about him as  they squirm. Why are his press secretaries so mean? 

***** 

I need to get out of this Hell hole. - Harvey Weinstein 

***** 

A student fell off a pole and died celebrating the Eagles win.  

***** 

Sen Bob Menendez was sentenced to 11 years in prison for corruption and bribery.  

***** 

It has been said that 89% of Trump’s total wealth came in the last couple of weeks with help from the shit coin. Most of the sales are from overseas. It seems a safe and easy way to funnel $ to him with no questions asked. ** I think my biggest concern with all this mess is the new team getting a hold of facts and changing official records because they can. Will Nazi’s be looked on as a bad thing by the time they are thru? 

***** 

Many Federal DEI employees are on paid leave. How does that save the country money? ** ***** 

White House.gov has taken down founding documents, the constitution, the Bill of Rights, tourism, internships and info about former Presidents. They claim it will be back. The Nazi’s are here. 

***** 

And just in time, Duck Dynasty is back. 

***** 

Bill Burr seems miffed at Howie Mandel for blindsiding him on a podcast. Give ‘em Hell, Bill!!! 

***** 

Officer Brian Sicknick would still be alive if it weren’t for Donald Trump. - Occupy Democrats ** Perhaps the Capitol security or police should refuse to watch over Republicans since they can’t be counted on to defend them. 

***** 

Have you seen the back and forth t shirts with Mac Culkin and Ryan Gosling? Cute! We need a silly sweet story right now.  

***** 

Sexual assault news: Sexual harassment suspect Brett Ratner has been pegged to direct a doc about Melania Trump. That sounds about right. ** Cartoonist Darrin Bell was arrested on child porn charges. ** It looks like Visa and MasterCard willingly let people charge illegal child sex abuse content according to a whistleblower. ** Marilyn Manson won’t be charged with any sexual abuse after a 4 -year investigation. 

***** 

R.I.P. John Capodice, Tesla truck victim, Wayne Osmont, Tomiko Itooka, Jeff Baena, Britt Allcroft, Mike Milligan, Brenton Wood, Peter Yarrow, Richard Cohen, Jet blue landing gear victims, Jack Waddell, Bill Byrge, Mike Rinder, DJ Unk, Antioch high victims, Turkish ski resort victims, Sam Moore, Christian Juttner, Claude Jarman Jr., Phyllis Dalton, Francisco San Martin, Harvey Laidman, Reagan National Airport crash victims, Medevac jet victims, Lynne Taylor- Corbett, Leslie Charleson, sea turtles, Jules Feiffer, John Sykes, Bob Uecker, Joan Plowright, David Lynch, Garth Hudson and Marianne Faithfull. 

[lovenotesxcitygirls]

Are Your Standards Unrealistic? Let’s Talk About It

Let’s be real: everyone has standards. And you should—standards are what keep you from entertaining nonsense. But at what point do your standards cross the line from reasonable to, well, delusional?

We’ve all seen it. Men who want women to be ambitious, high-earning, nurturing, family-oriented, always dressed to the nines, hitting the gym daily, and keeping the house spotless. Oh, and she needs to want kids, too. Sir, if she has all of that going on, how exactly is she supposed to center you?

Then there are the women. He’s got to be 6’5, fit, making seven figures, taking care of every need, emotionally available at all times, and spending every waking second with you. Ma’am, if he’s all that, do you think he has time to work and meet all those demands?

This isn’t about lowering your standards. If you know what you want, hold onto it. But it’s worth asking yourself—are you looking for a human being or a fantasy? Because no matter who we love, unrealistic standards can trip us all up.

Why Do We Set Unrealistic Standards?

There’s a reason we sometimes create impossibly high expectations. It’s not just about being picky; it’s about the influences and fears that shape what we think we need:

1. Societal Influences

Social media, romantic comedies, and perfectly curated love stories have a way of distorting our sense of reality. We see the highlight reel, not the work behind the scenes, and suddenly, we think we deserve—and can only settle for—perfection.

2. Fear of Vulnerability

High standards can act as armor. If no one ever measures up, you don’t have to risk opening your heart. It’s a safe, albeit lonely, way to protect yourself.

3. Overcorrection

Bad relationships can push us to the extreme. After dating someone who fell far short of our needs, it’s easy to swing to the other side, demanding perfection to avoid getting hurt again.

How to Balance Standards and Realism

1. Focus on Foundations

Attraction, ambition, and lifestyle alignment are nice-to-haves, but they won’t carry a relationship. Shared values, emotional stability, and genuine compatibility are the foundation. Without those, even the most “perfect” partner will feel lacking.

2. Chemistry Matters

Let’s not lie to ourselves: attraction is important. I’ve tried dating someone solely for their personality, thinking I was being mature. But when their personality wavered, I struggled to see them as worthy to date. The takeaway? Chemistry is part of the equation. It’s not shallow to want someone who excites you—it’s human.

3. Ask Yourself Why

Be honest about where your standards come from. For example:

• Do you really need someone making seven figures, or do you crave financial security?

• Is their height or fitness non-negotiable, or do you just want someone who prioritizes health?

Distinguishing must-haves from nice-to-haves is key.

Yes, that would add a valuable layer to the post! Many people say they want healthy relationships but are subconsciously drawn to toxic patterns, then get frustrated when they can’t “fix” the person or the situation. Including this point would balance the narrative and invite readers to reflect on whether their standards align with what they’re actually seeking. Here’s how you could weave it in:

Are Your Standards Aligning with Your Choices?

Here’s another question to ask yourself: Are you setting standards for a healthy relationship but chasing after toxic patterns? Because let’s be honest, it’s easy to get caught up in trying to “change” someone or thinking your love can heal them.

We’ve all seen it—or been there ourselve.

• You say you want someone emotionally available, but you’re drawn to the one who’s allergic to commitment.

• You crave stability but find yourself attracted to the chaos of someone who can’t keep their life together.

• You want healthy love but keep choosing someone who needs saving, then get mad when they don’t change.

Here’s the truth: people don’t change unless they want to, and even then, it’s a long road. Your standards can’t just live on paper; they have to show up in your choices. Healthy relationships aren’t built on potential—they’re built on reality.

Hold Yourself Accountable

This is where self-awareness comes in. It’s not just about setting standards for others—it’s about holding yourself to the same level of accountability. If you want a partner who’s emotionally mature, stable, and self-aware, ask yourself: Am I showing up in the same way? Am I choosing partners who reflect the healthy love I claim to want?

If not, it’s time to stop chasing the fix-it projects and start aligning your actions with your intentions.

Why Healthy Is Worth It

Healthy relationships aren’t boring—they’re freeing. They don’t require you to shrink yourself or overextend to feel valued. But they do require you to walk away from toxic patterns, even when it’s hard, and stop trying to mold someone into the vision you’ve created in your head.

You can place this section under “How to Balance Standards and Realism” or as its own standalone thought. It flows seamlessly into the rest of the post and offers readers an extra moment of introspection. Let me know if you’d like me to refine it further!

Check Yourself: A Quick Poll

Think about your own standards and be honest:

Are your standards more about compatibility or appearances?

Could you meet the same standards you’re asking of someone else?

Are they rooted in your real needs or societal pressure?

Why Realistic Standards Aren’t Settling

Here’s the thing: realistic doesn’t mean settling. It means understanding that no one is perfect—including you. The goal isn’t to lower the bar; it’s to focus on what truly matters.

When you prioritize core values and connection, you create space for something real. And let’s face it, when your partner is showing up in ways that matter, you’ll hardly notice if they’re missing one or two nice-to-haves.

For Reflection and Growth

If you’re rethinking your standards or working toward a more grounded approach to love, here are a few tools that might help:

• A Guided Journal for Self-Discovery: Check this one out to reflect on what truly matters to you in a relationship.

• A Book on Attachment Styles: Attached by Amir Levine will help you understand what drives your needs in love.

• A Vision Board Kit: This one is perfect for mapping out what you want in life and love—without losing sight of reality.

• A Great Pair of Headphones: For introspection moments with your favorite playlist, because clarity starts with quiet.

Cater to Real Love

And yes, Destiny’s Child – “Cater 2 U” comes to mind here. It’s aspirational, no doubt, but it also highlights how love requires balance and effort from both sides. We all want a love worth catering to—but the key is finding someone who reciprocates, not someone who demands perfection.

So as you reflect on your own standards, remember this: humans are beautifully flawed, and relationships are about connection, not checklists. Set the bar high, but keep it grounded in reality. Because real love? It’s not about perfection—it’s about showing up, flaws and all, and still choosing each other every day.