#i love u scooter im sorry

[not-zian]

Philomena cunk for people who reallllly wanted to be theatre kids but lacked the courage

[pierregazly]

the bookworm ꨄ george russell smau

george russell x bookworm/writer!reader

the one where george couldn't be prouder to call you his, even if it seems like the whole world hates you just for doing what you love... even if they don't know the whole truth.

georgerussell63

tagged yourusername

liked by yourusername, alex_albon, f1wags, and others

georgerussell63 enjoyed the time off! would never complain about spending time with my best friend, time to get back into things 💪🏎

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username gotta go check off 'george posts shirtless pics during off szn' on my bingo card

username gotta go check off 'yn cares more about her own hobby than her bf' on my bingo card

username girl you got issues with books? can't read?

alex_albon bad hair day? or are hats your new thing

yourusername tried to convince him to go with the bucket hat, but he claims 'all the kids are wearing caps babe'

username girlypop can't even enjoy a holiday with george without being focused on anything other than him??

username he's literally NECKING her in one of the photos?????? do you want her to koala hold him everywhere???

username future wdc russell george and his future writer wife frfr

username 1/2 of these things are probably true and we both know it's not the second lol

yourusername spoiling me always, my handsome handsome man 💗

georgerussell63 wouldn't have spent the last few weeks with anyone else (even if you kick me in your sleep nightly)

username do you think yourusername pictures george as the main male character in any of the books she reads???

username if i can picture him in fanfiction, im sure she pictures him in everything else???

gisèlerosebooks

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, username, and others

gisèlerosebooks first time being on any device since my trip with my favourite person ended. the love on collided continues to amaze me, and i'm so extremely honoured to continuously receive so much love from not only the reading community, but many of the formula 1 faithful as well. this is NOT the end of the journey, either. for now, let the formula 1 season begin... and maybe find me at a race or two? 🤭

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gisèlerosebooks oh and to my incredible, amazing, handsome boyfriend, thank you so much for always proofreading my formula 1 terminology and understanding. i promise i'll give you real credit one day.

username god adrien is so charles leclerc coded, he's all i could think about this entire book

lilymhe 🏎🫶🏻

username the fact i literally could've cared less about the lil zoom zoom cars before the dirty air series dropped and now im eager for the new season.... gisèle baby why u do this to me

username miss girl???? how are we supposed to find you at any races when we don't even know what you look like!!!

username jealous of gisèle's bf is!!! his gf is too talented for the world

username not throttled being the book to get me back into reading and now i'm blessed wth a second book??? mother is mothering real hard

username this is the type of book series i'd totally read at the track and imagine an f1 driver as my husband sry

username 10/10 book!!! dying!!!

yourusername has posted a story

liked by georgerussell63, lilymhe, bestfrienduser, and others

replies

georgerussell63 wow we're so lucious and hot

yourusername luscious sweetie

georgerussell63 god i love having a hot, smart, book-writer gf. write a book about me and use that word

yourusername they're all already about you??? (handsome)

username you showed up to a race?????? shocking

gisèlerosebooks has posted a story

liked by georgerussell63, username, username, and others

replies

username omg!!!! where are you!!! dying to meet you omfg

username YOU WERE SERIOUS

georgerussell63 i saw u slip up and post this on the og account loser

georgerussell63 can i have my scooter back ya nerd

gisèlerosebooks no sorry </3 i own it now

georgerussell63 no creds in the books and now my scooter stolen???? you hate the british

gisèlerosebooks my pseudonym is an ODE to you PAL

georgerussell63

tagged yourusername and gisèlerosebooks

liked by yourusername, gisèlerosebooks, lilymhe, and others

georgerussell63 a shame that this weekend didn't go the way we all wanted it to go, i know for a fact we'll be coming out on top soon! i also know yourusername or as most of you seem to prefer (for no valid reason at all) gisèlerosebooks is pretty deep in finishing book 3 and apparently this weekend was super influential??? go me (give me book creds)

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yourusername george!!! lmao!!!

yourusername a heads up next time??? maybe?!?

username 'for no valid reason at all' so SASSY oh boy

username everyone on twitter the other day calling yourusername a freeloader is soooo not doing well rn

lilymhe the secret's out!!!! (shocked, baffled, wild, can i get my books signed now)

username (G)isèle (R)ose... (G)eorge (R)ussell... dare i say... deliberately done

yourusername 🤭

username amazing race this weekend!!! can't wait to see you on top

username no one talking about book 3 almost being done??? or the fact george proofreads all her writing??? so cute

charles_leclerc so collided... is not about me?

georgerussell63 get lost mate

yourusername has posted a story

liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon, username, and others

replies

georgerussell63 you think im a gentleman??? love you

yourusername the BIGGEST gentleman, i love you

username god this is so cute

georgerussell63

tagged yourusername and gisèlerosebooks

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, username and others

georgerussell63 that's my little freeloading, best-selling author and future wife!

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username someone come get this chronically online man rn!!

yourusername can i be your freeloader forever??? spending my own money sucks

georgerussell63 my money's your money always my little freeloader

alex_albon emphasis on the best-selling author and future wife part

georgerussell63 you're right mate

username re-reading dirty air and knowing fully the entire book series is about george makes me so happy omg

username proud to admit i loved yourusername before AND after she was revealed as everyone's fav author (and it's not just a hobby losers)

username george doesn't get book creds until he wins a race again :)

yourusername i love this stipulation!!! georgerussell63 thoughts?

georgerussell63 you hate the british.

i had SO much fun writing this!!! i picked george after going down a george rabbit hole again (of course), so i hope you all love it!! thanks for all the love always.

i'm not necessarily taking requests right now, but if you have suggestions please feel free to send them my way.

[spectr3inl0ve]

Age gap Bruce Wayne and reader going to their first gala together and a bunch of Bruce’s “friends” talk about reader in a very misogynistic way, talking about how lucky Bruce is to be dating someone younger, and Bruce defends reader telling them that she’s more than that

- 🦪 anon

ooh the person u are 🦪 anon 💗💗(im soso sorry for the inconsistency of 2nd and 3rd person in my posts, idk y I do it 😭😭)

so, obviously you're both nervous to go the gala together, you more so than him. getting pát the paparazzi at the front isn't actually that bad when you're not stopping to answer questions or pose for front covers.

cradle robber!bruce wayne leads you to his so called friends, the people that he had to stay in good terms with for business and status. you're introduced to three men, george, scooter and fernando (not real dc characters btw). "hi there, little lady." scooter, a middle aged man with the face of a tomato says, smiling sideways at you. you want to grimace, but smile back, "hi, nice to meet you.". you extend a hand to him, and shake his pudgy, red hand. george shakes your hand too, grinning at you, a few gold teeth flashing in the light. fernando just smiles and nods at you, "he doesn't do handshakes." bruce says helpfully in your ear, thank god.

while bruce and his three associates catch up, you busy yourself with going to get drinks for you and bruce. when you turn away from them to find the bar, you swear you heard a whistle. when you come back, you hand bruce his drink and sip your own, "aren't you a little too young for that? shouldn't you be doing you homework, little miss?" George chortles, and the others laugh along with him. you smile politely, "and shouldn't you be looking for a retirement home, george?". bruce chuckles, patting you on the back. "aren't you a delight, bet mr playboy here loves it." George says good-naturedly. you drown out most of the conversation, thankful that they didn't really try to include them. you caught a few words here and there, but nothing worth paying attention too.

that is until you hear a rather misogynistic comment, "I guess you could retire alfred, now that you've got her. at her age she could do all the house work in half a day!" your eyes snap towards scooters, glaring. before you say anything, bruce cuts in, "alfred is fully capable, and [reader] will not be doing such a thing.". "you know, bruce. the one thing I regret is not bagging a young thing like her before I got old. take advantage of it, while she's all smooth and pretty." my jaw drops, and the three men laugh. "that mouth could definitely be used for something." fernando smirks. as quick as a whip, bruces lands a punch across fernandos cheek, and my hands come up to my mouth. people around us gasp, watching us. "dont fucking talk to her like that, you shit piece of scum," he says lowly, in a menacing tone. scooter and George are staring at bruce, wide eyed as he turns on them, "and she's worth way more than what you have tried to reduce her to. now leave before I put you in early retirement.". both scooter and George turn on their heel, rushing away before anything else happens.

bruce turn to you, a hand cupping your face, "you alright? im sorry about those assholes, they shouldn't have said that shit." you look up at him, nodding, "thank you, but next time let me deal with them.". bruce downs the rest of his drink, "wanna get outta here?", giggling, you reply, "yeah, lets go."

if you can't tell I'm not great at dialogue 💔💔

[outsidersheadcanons]

Mario Kart headcanons (modern au ig)

The Curtis Kart tournaments are legendary. They all get together once a month for a full-on competition with brackets and eliminations, but they will also just play for fun whenever they want.

Darry would be stupidly competitive, but really bad. My guy would be sweating over this children's game, but don't mention it to him. Two-Bit made fun of him once and instantly regretted it. He'd probably main King Boo because "he looks cool". From there he'd probably just try to optimize his build with rollers wheels, the biddy buggy, and paper glider. (i literally just googled peak build for king boo). He has memorized every shortcut in every map and all of the optimal routes. But even though he tries very hard, he still loses. He doesn't have a track preference, but he hates Baby Park with a passion.

Soda. Soda is THE MOST annoying person you could ever play with. He doesn't care about winning. He doesn't care about anything but making everyone else suffer. He constantly shit talks everyone, especially Darry. He doesn't really care about his character or kart, he just goes with whatever he thinks is funniest. He likes to play as any of the babies because he "is baby". He likes the prancer kart, wild wiggler, or streetle, because he finds them funny. Same thing with wheels (cushion, button, or sponge) and gliders (waddle wing or flower glider). It's just whatever Soda finds funny in the moment. He likes to pick the Baby Park track purely because everyone else hates it. (thank you to my cousins N and V for giving me inspiration, please stop picking baby park)

Pony has fun. He definitely doesn't take it as seriously as Darry, but he does try. He's a really big fan of the Zelda games, so he bases his whole build around it. Link, with the master cycle zero, ancient tires, and the paraglider. He's not a tryhard, but he wins maybe every 1 out of 5 games. He doesn't have a track preference.

Johnny is insanely good at Mario Kart. He goes completely silent while playing, with his eyes locked onto the screen. Sometimes the people who aren't playing will try to make him crack up, or stack things on top of him. He's kinda like those royal soldiers. Nothing breaks his concentration. With his build, he's similar to Pony. Johnny really likes the animal crossing games, so he goes full theme. Isabelle, with the isabelle scooter, leaf tires, and the paper glider. He'll win maybe 3 out of 5 games and is pretty much the best player.

Sometimes Soda, Pony, and Johnny make a deal to go full troll. They play as Iggy, Lemmy, and Larry respectively, with the koopa clown car, hot monster tires, and wario wing glider. Darry absolutely despises whenever they do this and refers to them as "the three fucksketeers".

Those four are the ones who mainly play, but sometimes the others join.

Two-Bit has the same strategy as Soda, meaning there is no strategy. If he's playing, Soda and Pony will rush to pick shyguy because it pisses off Two-Bit. He will then refuse to play because "shyguy is my guy. Shyguy is MY GUY." and eventually they give up and let him pick shyguy.

Cherry is actually pretty good, probably as good as Pony. She doesn't have any preferences in regard to anything, and just picks whatever she thinks is cool that day.

Dally refuses to play because "it's a game for children. Why would I play a game for children?" The one time he did play, he lost so bad that he stormed out of the house and was missing for two hours.

Steve will not play if Pony is playing. Pony will not play is Steve is playing. Their beef runs so deep that they don't need to say anything. They just hate each other that much. Because of this, Steve doesn't really play.

also im so sorry for like spam liking/reblogging ur posts

These were amazing and canon!! I love how detailed everything wasss <3 (and Steve and Pony being such haters of each other they can't play Mario Kart together??? And Dally being a sore loser??? CANON CANON CANON)

and how dare u like my posts 😡(jk jk I love to see ppl engaging with my yapping abt the outsiders ❤️❤️❤️ ty for enjoying the blog!!)

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

empire of death thoughts+reactions part 1

previously onnnn (super short sdlkfj)

HOP ON, COWBOY

sdlkjs morris a literal 13 year old having guns on his lil' scooter thing.is UNIT ok.

omg even the vlinx TOT

the birds will sings again!!!!!!

dust of death mmm delicious alliteration

"im sorry there's nothing we can do. we're dead" vibes

loving this action sequence ngl

WATCHA TALKING ABOUT

maybe is not [insert character]. maybe mrs flood is just an old lady who is Like This.

"my true name" "ur true maker" whats her true maker if not RTD!!! / clowning

"we've got worse problems" that's gonna come back to bite him skdfljdskl

does anyone remember the clara / 1 paintdoktahwho comic "dont take that one. take the tv"

thats what im thinking ot

(askdjlad UGH my iplayer stopped so i refreshed and while skipping to the place i think i spoiled my self for susan ?? TOT sutpid internet stupid preview skipping thumbnail function grrrr) im not a tardis smasher in general but the memory tardis….. would. maybe

"remember it harder" i would be a useless companion here tbh. memory of a goldfish.i would doom the earth.

IT'S A TV SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S TELLING THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE

I MADE A JIGSAW OF YOUR HISTORY SDKLFJSLKJF

AAAAAGHHH

sdflkdfj sutekh spining in the vortex. 2 cute

the temple……….. tardis as the thing in the hill meta INTENSIFIES

"so many secrest" um TIMELESS CHILD FUGITIVE MEMORIES FOBWATCH????

oh ok i jut got spoiled for the clip OF susan sdlkfjdskl FALSE ALARM FOLKS

"never yours again, never"

my angels of death………………..

"i find that good" i feel they did this same exact phrasing once for a "death is beautiful" monster like this but i cant remember which story?

also, flux? flux anyone? 13 vs entropy itself?

"i am an extinction event" OOF

(oh this clicks on why the doctor clings sm to living / immortality despite how much it hurts)

memory is a time machine TOT idk but that Hits Harder

"sutes" dlkjfslfk cute

"and doesnt it feel good?" holy shit

yayy mel's not dead yet

MEL GRABBING SIX'S COAT IM FINEIM FINE IM FINE

(idk why but that's what's made me cry slkfjsd)

"ruby roo" sdkljsfd

lasdkj if a regular tardis is 6 people driven then a memory tardis is probably meant to be piloted by every single doctor and companion ever

"meleanie b" TOT (doctor trait unlocked: when 15 is stressed he intensifies on the cutsey nicknames)

CHEKOV'S INGELLITEN GLOVE !!!!! damn i thought for a second about putting that on my bingo card but didnt skldfj

i like that the subtext of "when disaster comes, he's there" / "the tardis is an ommen of death" & "he has one constant companion… death" isn't literally being stated as being "sutekh did it lol" lol cause that would feel a lil cheap. i think instead rtd took a smarter choices of keeping that subtext, but keeping it that stricly speaking what sutekh did was just putting the susan copies everywhere.

73 yards……………

omg wait so in a memory tardis u can remmeber anything to existence………….. what if heiimagines susan at the end

(MOLECULAR BOND ROGUE CALL BACK?)

73 yards…………. HOW DO U KNOW THAT. I JUST DO. SHE'S JUST GOOD AT CONVERTING UNITS DAMN. LET RUBY BE GOOD AT UNIT CONVERSIONS DOCTOR.

ohh wait so this connects perception filters and 73 yards. put on a pin on that (and presumably……. taking down the perception filter is what happened re: ruby? that's why people ran away? people saw beyond her perception filter to the elderitch abomination bellow?)

"you've landed on earth a 100th times" is probably a huuude understimation lol

"she was reborn stronger each time. this monumental figure" dr. who as a cultural institution meta

shots outside the tardis my beloved

1999….. the movie... 2005 …. obvious. 1066 was the fire of london right? with 5?

this is rlly working for me ngl. dr who is all about death meta but it's literal but it's not

and a lso the whole. when u are a time traveler everyone is already dead. we must be like ghosts to u . etc etc

telos… THE OOD SPHERE noooo

mel being like "well…. at least 1% of the universe is fine. that's all right then" .

this |5 "it's all my fault" beat feels a lil' weird until u remember [all the traumas] / flux trauma and then it's like yeah i getchu doc i too take everything bad that happens as proof that it is my fault even tho, factually, it makes no sense as a reaction. trauma/depression girlies united.

THE SUN IS DEAD. rip 42's sun.

omg thank u sutekh for finally fixing that over-blue colorization in the unit set. not all heroes wear capes tbh.

aaaand the end.

fade to black.

doctor who is done! we can all go home and become trekkies everybody. congrats!

[charmed-asylum]

Excuse me for this chapter for how long this shit was had me screaming every curse word I know to man and some. Shit I think I was possessed bc some words wasn’t even in English. But that’s what u do to me got me talking I’m tongue. I just where to start where to start.

I mean where to bloody start in the fresh prince of hell!!

Let’s start w the lovely ALL BY MY SELF MONTAGE Vibe poor girl was dealing with. She literally was going tho this w a LB ish tone to it in my head.

She then goes and do everything she can do get Jensen to listen I mean how much self respect you have not only for the reader but for ur self to think the way you are. AINT YOU A FUCK COMPUTER GENUS TO KNOW WHAT CAN N CANT BE FABRICATED bc even my vintage typing ass can figure two and two together doesn’t equal a donkey ass but oh well I guess I ace COMMON SENSE 101. All while she goin tho it this son of cat bitch wanna taunt her he not worth it nah bitch man at this point ain’t worth it. Shit little picture w a in my mind cut and tape over another face of u works like oh here the worst clip art 📎 I’m talking 98 word clip art shit and he takes it. Look I know I ain’t making sense but this shit got me next level and I’m sure I’m talking to myself but look 👀 this shit too much ( way to good I’m having heart pain just thinking about it) and she goes does a lovely little at the window shit pleads w him and he wanna be a B I T C H like not even a question tho to prove he ain’t a dummy no shack the head and dip well sir ur as dumb as a bunch of rocks and ur parents should be very glade ur waste there money and eggs and sperm on your dumb ass. Sad part he might show up to her getting attack and maybe rape and he gonna cry and be all see u use me nah bitch u don’t see her crying stop and Steve lookin like a cartoon villain. Ahhhh I’m mad lord I am mad.

SHE LITERALLY GOES I DIDNT DO IT TELL U THE TRUTH EVEN AS FAR LIKE I WAS GONNA give myself to u as my first and he slam the widow on her . sorry no nah I know what ur sayin I just need time MO SLAM THE WINDOW W OUT SPEAKIN. And im not gonna lie I gave it a chance like maybe it be like some movie and next part he runs after her but he doesn’t NOT DO THAT SHIT. Excuse me who gave u the right to be that much a little bitch ahhh I can’t lord forgive me for I wanted to slap the sight back into this man.

Then Steve come tho out the shadows. Like a click and paste shit . Like u don’t got no life u been waiting in side line like a damn weirdo I can’t. Where the campus security or what not she having a heated convo runs around a building or some shit. No CAMPUS SECURITY like damn I know they can’t do much but shine a light into Steve eyes blow that whistle til his ears bleed roll him over in ur little golf cart scooter or something. Nah probably sniffing some donuts power up the nose. He waited for her and just wow okay it’s Steve but how many times could someone do this to a girl like I’m horny let me wait and push my way into the dorm. He so sick he literally waited for her to be alone and not alone but alone and broken and it’s a fuckin game of delight like yup merry Christmas to me really really nah don’t bring the birth of Christ into this crazy ass dream u got. She begs him and he laugh shows no remorse she runs ( got that run scene had me on my knees w my rose Mary beads eyes rolled back splashing holy water and talking into tongues) then the end THE END GIRL BLACK OUT AND IT WAS ANOTHER DAY when I came back to it. Like I’m just what did she really do mmm what am I forgetting that happen that is something let’s be realistic u could not see coming oh u like so u me and bed rockin and she was supposed to be like do me now Dr. Steve Rogers hahaah boy u dreaming a crack head dream no u can’t tell me that so what and u do and say that lord ROOOOO PLEASE 🙏 tell me I’m not crazy @darkficsyouneveraskedfor bc this chapter had me crying and screaming

One False Move

Series Masterlist

Warnings: dark elements, some sexiness in this.

Note: this is what yall asked for, remember that.

Please leave me some feedback either in a reblog or an ask! Likes are always appreciated as well. You know I love yall and hell yeah, you love Professor Steve.

Jake ignores every text and every call. When you pull up his Insta, you find yourself blocked. The last revelation crushes you, sending you into a tailspin and your bed. You burrow under the comforter and cry yourself to a restless sleep.

When you wake up, the sun is still down. It's not even four in the morning. You've never felt like this. So hollow and heavy at once. You drag yourself out of bed and make yourself drink a cup of instant coffee that makes your stomach rot.

You sit at the kitchen table in your empty dorm and hold your head. It's all a mistake, just lies. Professor Rogers knew what he was doing and it worked so well. Why didn't Jensen believe you? He knows better, he should've listened.

Your despair turns to anger and frustration. You don't know why you wasted your time. You get up and rinse out your mug before shuffling back to bed. Well, at least you have groceries for the break. You can make what you bought last a while. You're going to have to.

You lay down and try to fall back asleep. You drift in and out but feel worse as the window pales to a dim grey. The winter morning chills you and keeps you nestled under the blankets. It's only the urgent need that draws you out to the bathroom.

You're more away as you return to your room and grab your phone, stomach wobbly with anxious hope. No replies from Jensen, but a message from a private number.

'He's not worth it.'

You know who it is. He can hide his number but you know he's taunting you. What does he want? He's already ruined everything.

You ignore him and put your phone down. You think of putting a video on your laptop but that just makes you miss Jake even more. He should be here waking up with you. Last night should've been the best night of your life.

Maybe...

You get dressed before you let the thought break through clearly. It's desperate and stupid but you're not going to give up. You zip up your coat and shove your feet into your boots, pulling a toque onto your head. You grab your keys and phone and leave your lonely dorm behind.

The pavement is trimmed with frost and in some places, patches of ice crack under your treads. You keep your hands in your pockets as you chatter, walking with purpose along the curving paths. You stop in front of Jensen's building and look up. He's not going to answer your messages and you can't get in on your own, so you'll have to get creative.

You grab a pebble and count the windows. You're pretty sure it's that one. You huck the stone and it pings off the frame. From your side, it sounds pretty loud. You wait, nothing. You do it again. Several times before the window above opens.

Shit, you were close.

Jensen pokes his head out and lets out a huff that clouds in front of him, "go away--"

"Jake, please, just listen. You know I wouldn't... I wouldn't do that. Not with him."

"Pfft, come on, I'm not an idiot."

"Ugh, what did I ever do to make you believe I would--"

"I don't know. Late office meetings, sending me texts about staying late then calling it off, sounds like cold feet to me."

You lean your head back and whine, "he did that, okay? He took my phone--"

"Convenient story."

"Jake!" You holler, "why can't you see I'm telling the truth? I... you were going to be my first."

He just stares, quiet. You feel yourself wilt. He shakes his head and pulls back, disappearing behind the frame and slamming the pane down. There's your answer.

You turn slowly on your heel. Your eyes well and you quickly flick away your tears. Happy Holidays, indeed.

📚

You're in no rush to get back to your dorm, even with cold nipping at your cheeks. You don't care. You have nothing to look forward too. You waited weeks for your break, to spend time with your boyfriend alone, and now you have nothing.

Typical. Just your luck. Even the wafting aromas of the cafe can't tempt you in as you pass. You carry on, keeping your head down outside the English building, and tramp along in a glum fog. Your feet carry you without a thought, the path etched into your mind and muscles. You look up at the familiar brick facade and fish out your keys.

It's frighteningly still and quiet outside. Most of campus is home and happy, but here you are. You pull out the keyring and scan your fob on the censor. The door beeps and you open it, puttering inside reluctantly.

Suddenly you feel the door open wider and you're shoved forward. You trip as someone skirts in behind you and pulls the heavy barrier shut with a clang. You throw your arms out and steady yourself, turning to face the unceremonious intruder.

"Hey, sweetheart, what's got you down?" Steve asks as he stands tall, hooking his thumbs in his pockets.

"What the hell? Get out? What are you doing--"

"Shhhh," he puts his finger to his lips, "listen."

You blink and hush, listening to the empty hall. What? It's quiet. There's... no one there. The epiphany strains your face as he smirks.

"That's right, sweetie, just you and me," he takes a step closer and you back up. "Sounds like a merry Christmas to me."

"No..." you exhale as you retreat along with his advance, "get away--"

"You can't spend the holidays alone," he says with dripping sympathy, "what kind of man-- boy would abandon you like that?"

"Stop," you hold a hand up, "Steve, you're scaring me."

"Well, baby," his cheek dimples, "you've hurt me so I think I get to return that favour."

He lunges and you stumble backwards, hitting the wall and rolling out of his way. You turn and race down the hallway, pumping your arms wildly. You surpass the elevator and yank open the door to the stairwell. You hear him behind you. He's close.

You grab the railing and swing yourself around, kicking over each step frantically as you struggle not to fall on your face. You're dizzy as you turn up the next flight and the next. Your lungs burn as you feel yourself slowing. You hear him, footsteps echoing up towards you.

You burst onto your floor and fumble with your keys desperately. You can't get a steady grip as you search for the key to your door. Finally, you slide it into the slot as the stairwell door clicks. You hurry inside but as you go to shut the door, it stops short of the frame.

You squeak as Steve gives the door a jolt and flings you back easily. You cry out as he enters and blocks you into the narrow hall that adjoins the rooms. You raise an arm, shielding yourself as your knees shake.

"Please, Steve," you beg as he shuts the door behind him.

"Oh, you don't have to say please, sweetie, I'll give you exactly what you need," he grabs your arm and pulls you close, "I told you, the minute you think you're alone, I'll be there."

[softxhariana]

34+35 live stream

description: ariana’s live stream before debut of 34+35 remix music video.

word count: 2.22k

A/N: little piece based off this live stream that ariana did in the countdown to her releasing the 34+35 remix music video with doja and megan. obvs not included every question but just a few fun bits and harry mentions for you x

also disclaimer, this is NOT real, if u don't wanna read about these two then don't, i’m not tryna act like they’re together it is fiction.

❤ anywayz hope u enjoy luvs xox

❖   "HELLO EVERYONE! thank u for coming to this premier,” ariana smiled sweetly at the camera, as the video cut to a shot of her for the beginning of the countdown.

“we had so much fun making this 34+35 remix video for you, and uhh, we hope you love it.” she continued, playing with her hair. no matter how long she did this for she swore she would never cease to get slightly nervous in these situations. where it was her alone, in front of a camera. but her fans made her feel at ease, and she felt she owed them something, as she hadn’t done many quarantine interviews like other celebs have.

“i thought i would come celebrate and join the countdown with you guys. which is something that I've never done before, but i’m very happy to be here and i was very excited to get some questions from you all...” she held up the sheets of twitter questions she had received, “um that i’m gonna be answering while i’m here so, i cant wait to celebrate this together and countdown and answer some of your questions!” she finished with a smile.

and it was genuine. a real smile that her fans were thrilled to see.

ariana was genuinely so happy and content with her life right now. with her family, her music, her friends, harry. harry her FIANCE!! might she add.

everything just felt perfect, and after all the shit the last couple years had thrown her way, she appreciated the break.

 she got her love back, she was making music that she fully loved, and put her whole soul into, and she had fans who had stuck with her and supported her through some of the darkest times in her life, that were now able to experience her happiness and personal growth with her. so truly, little things like this, felt like the least she could do for them.

“ohh this is a good one because its 34 35 related” she tucked her hair behind her ears, “@noirgrande said ‘ummm its just i wanna the end of 34+35 is it awww shit or nooo shit, i just wanna sing the song right”

“umm it is indeed no shit” she confirmed, smiling matter of factly at the camera before reciting the closing line of the song.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“@arianalocks1223 said ‘will we get to see the track list before the songs release?’” she paused for a second to process - which turned into a few more seconds, she was a bit slow today. she had told harry with full sincerity that she thought it was because she was getting old but he had just cracked up at her absurd statement, and told her that if that was the case he’d still think she was a milf

“you will!” she nodded with certainty, “indeed. ummm... i can tell you them now” she blurted, oops.

“i suppose thats not like... is that against the rules? can i do that?” she turned, to question scooter who was supervising off camera, not wanting to get her label mad at her for releasing too much information, something she has a tendency to do. 

after getting the nod of reassurance from him she turned back to the camera, “so out of ‘POV’, you go into, um, an interlude called ‘someone like u’. after that is a song called ‘test drive’, after that is the 34/35 remix with doja and meg” she smiles lightly, “and after that is a song called ‘worst behaviour’, and after worst behaviour is... a song called ‘main thing’...” she finishes, a shy smirk forming on her face, dimples appearing, “so that’s the tracks.” 

continuing with the countdown, ariana felt her heart warm at the love her fans were giving her and this album. she loved interacting with them and making them happy and proud of her so knowing she had done just that, was an amazing feeling.

“umm hesbloodsline... @hesbloodsline ... i’m really fond of this question because its really to the point, ‘where's the pig and where the fuck is harry?’” she smiled, holding in a laugh.

“piggy’s here, she's great, she's really doing so well and life is really good for her right now, she's really thriving and doing her thing” she ranted, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “um, i make her big salads everyday that she likes, she's doing really great. she asked me to stop posting her as much because she's actually really offended by a lot of your jokes that you make on twitter, she asked me to have a word with you guys” she continued to joke, well aware that she probably found herself more funny than anyone else did right now.

“she doesn't like the jokes about being eaten, they really hurt her, umm yeh, and she asked me to convey that... no she’s great...” she finally decided to answer, “and harry, is on set today, so um, yeh thats where he is... but don't worry i will tell him to keep you in the loop, i’ve got you” 

ariana unconsciously let a small smile take over her glossed lips when talking about harry. he had been so excited about this new project and seeing him passionate and happy about anything he’s doing, always made her happiest.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“nicole! @nastyctrl. nicole said ‘who helped come up with the concept for the positions music video, love u sm ari’ love you so much to, i love you so much more” she paused, she loved this story,

“um this is actually a really funny story, dave and i had been going back and forth on several different concepts, and i couldn't, like... marry one... i couldn't really, like, really commit to one, i wasn't 100% sold. and it was missing a certain element of empowerment. and i kept, you know, trying to think of things that would make it more impactful cause i wasn't loving what we had...”

“anddd then me and harry were on this huge hike, and he just turned to me and was like, ‘what if you were the president?’ which was like, not at all fitting cause i was dying and complaining the whole time. but i was like,” she tried to imitate a shocked face through her smile and laughed 

“and when i called dave he was like ‘oh... kay, ill call you guys back’ and had the whole production team redo everything, and i had mimi pull completely different outfits and we completely started over cause that idea was what i was, craving and missing. and i was like, wow, thats so perfect” she smiled, shrugging her shoulders, “so yeh, honorary directing credit to harry styles, if you liked that”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“this is from @borderlinevinyl, who said ‘how much of the album was recorded at your little home studio?’ ummm..” she sang, looking off camera in thought, everything in quarantine had honestly just blurred into one so she was struggling to remember what exactly she recorded where,

“um... a lot of it was... i think i did parts of everything here and parts of things at tommy's i know i did, um, the final chorus ad-libs for positions at home” she began listing in her head, “i know i did all of off the table at home... i know i did the final chorus of my hair at home because we- i-” oops. she had to control the laugh threatening to leave her lips at the lack of subtlety in her correction

“-i got out of the shower and he was like ‘oh your whistles are really here right now’, and i was like y’know what... yeahh they are aren’t they” she laughed as she squinted her eyes and recited that part of the conversation, even trying to imitate his deeper accent.

she had been singing in the shower - as she always did - and harry joining her never seemed to stop her from belting out any whitney or old one direction classic she wanted to. he would even join in sometimes and they'd end up with their own mini concert, dancing around naked, shampoo and conditioner bottles in hand singing their hearts out to everything from high school musical to nicki minaj to fleetwood mac.

while it felt like too bold of statement to make as she truly revelled in and enjoyed everything they did together, showering with him was truly one of her favourite’s. whether it was steamy shower sex that had all glass surfaces in the room fogging up or letting loose and dancing and singing under the pouring water, every moment felt so intimate and sacred. it truly made her feel like they were they only people in the world. 

of course he would claim she was out singing him every time she whistled and would jokingly try to replicate the note but he was truly just in awe off the sounds that came from her mouth (in all senses of the word;)

"-and so i opened ‘my hair’ and just randomly did that” she continued, “um what else did i do here, i did the a lot of the backgrounds and ad-libs for 34+35 here, um, obvious was done at home, a lot of six-thirty was done at home”

caught in her own thoughts she only realised she had probably been droning on for too long when she caught scooters eye across the room and with a blush she shook her head as if to clear it, “this is an annoying answer, everything was kind of all over the place but i did a lot, a lot, a lot of the vocals for the album at the house" she finally finished the long answer, moving on quickly as she realised she didn't have long until the premiere and she wanted to answer as many of the questions as possible.

“ok, second last question from hannah, ever- @everdxystxless, im sorry i don't know how to pronounce that” she laughs looking up at the camera with wide eyes, not sure how exactly how she was supposed to go about pronouncing the username, 

“im sorry, um, but anyway she say’s ‘ari baby, how do you feel about harry getting to do a movie with florence pugh, we know your a big fan of hers, ps. i love you so much!’ well hannah, i love you too” she replies, as she thinks back to when harry first introduced the two, after she had gotten over the initial fangirling, the pair became amazing friends. florence struck ariana as such a genuine, loving person and they shared the same dry sense of humour. plus ariana might of been just a little obsessed with her accent - not that she would ever admit that and scare the girl off.

“and... um, yeah, it literally, made me beyond happy, i was fully like, fangirling when i met her the first time” she laughs as she plays with her hair, “she honestly, probably was like, ‘who the fuck is this girl? what is she doing?’”ariana imitated, a faux scared/weirded out look on her face, playing the part of a mildly pissed off florence - which she luckily had never been on the receiving end of, “im sure i was being the opposite of subtle about it but, no, she really truly is the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, talented human being” she emphasises, the thought of any news outlets of fan’s trying to spin a ‘jealousy’ story about this making her internally role her eyes,

“midsommar is, like, one of my all time favourite movies, and she's amazing in it, and harry’s like so fucking lucky its crazy. so yeah, thats insane”

~~~~~~~~~

"...so yeah... thank you so much! this was so much fun!” ariana exclaimed as she wrapped up the Q&A, smiling wide at the camera, she knew her fans were going to love the music video and she couldn't wait for them to watch it, plus interacting with them in this way always made her happy.

“i love you guys, i miss you” she reminded, “i am so appreciative of everything you've done for this album, for these singles, for this music. i hope that, um, that this makes you super happy, i hope it makes you smile...we had so much fun shooting it and um, the girls are so fantastic, so i hope you love this and i hope you love the deluxe!” 

ariana didn't know how many more ways she could say thank you and express her gratitude but she still had over a minute and a half so she’d have to come up with something, even if it meant she’d sound like a broken record

“i am so thankful for everything and for the love that you've shown this music i cant even begin to articulate it properly so, thank you! i appreciate it so much” she breathed out all in one, “but anyway, the video should be starting soon, so... i hope you like it, don't refresh! it’ll be here soon... i promise... just don't refresh” she urged dramatically, she was really dragging this out, “but yeh” she got out through laughs “the video should be starting anytime now, i love you guys” she blew a kiss to the camera before moving as close to the lens as possible “byee”.

🖤 there u go!! i hope you liked it, and any feedback would always always be welcomed and so so appreciated pls and thanku x 

[aomi-nabi]

get to know me tag game

wasn’t tagged but saw from @mercurygguk and felt like doing it(i always miss the ones that ppl tag me in, im so sorry)

tagging: @chateautae @blue-sidez @v-hobi @thefanficmonster @honeytae @hantaev @venusiangguk and obv whoever wants to do it

1. when is your birthday?

october 1st

2. what is your favorite color?

lilac(purple in general) and light green

3. what is your lucky number?

47? idk how that happened

4. how tall are you?

173 cm but its been a while

5. how many pairs of shoes do you own?

6 prob

6. favorite song?

im all over the place with music but currently “people watching” by conan gray

7. favorite movie?

harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban

8. what would be your ideal partner?

idk honestly, just someone who is honest and that i can feel safe with

9. do you want children?

prob not, they r great dont get me wrong, just never saw myself as a mother

10. have you gotten in trouble with the law?

lmao nope but who knows

11. what color socks are you wearing?

black with bunch of gray and bluish dots on them, they r super warm

12. bath or shower?

showerrr, way too lazy for the bath

13. favorite kind of music?

whenever the mood takes me so most likely everything

14. how many pillows do you sleep on?

two, i put my face between and fall alseep immediately, dont know how i got there lol

15. what position to you sleep in?

either on my back or the stomach(ik ik unhealthy and everything but i cant help it)

16. what don’t you like when you’re sleeping?

complete darkness, i sleep with a night light(im not as cool as u think i am)

17. what do you eat for breakfast?

changes everyday but mostly either pancakes or eggs

18. have you ever tried archery?

nope, im useless at any type of sport ngl

19. what are your favorite fruits?

green apples, bananas and avocados(is avocado a fruit? im too lazy to google)

20. favorite swear word?

never thought of it but i guess “dick nugget” bc i call my friend that way😂 (also fuck, its like the most used word in my vocab)

21. do you have any scars?

on my left knee, fell from a scooter

22. are you a good liar?

i want to say yes but im not sure

23. what is your personality type?

INFJ-T(i literally took the test bc i was so curious, idk is this result a good or a bad thing?)

24. what is your favorite type of girl?

idk, it changes and honestly i dont think i have a type at this point

25. right or left handed?

right handed, my left hand is so useless sometimes

26. favorite food?

any type of potatoes, i love em

27. are you clean or messy?

clean all the way, sometimes procrastinate tho

28. favorite foreign food?

italian and mexican

29. how long does it take you to get ready?

prob 5 to 10 minutes

30. most used phrase?

“i dont know”, i mean u could prob tell😂

31. are you a good singer?

nopeee

32. do you sing to yourself?

eh more like hum some random song that i dont remember

33. biggest fear?

prob fear of heights?

34. do you like short or long hair?

both r cool, but with my rounded face, only long suits me😭

35. are you into gossip?

no, but ppl always tell me gossip for some reason so idk

36. extrovert or introvert?

introvert all the wayyy

37. favorite school subject?

history

38. what makes you nervous?

driving and phone calls(ikr, have no idea how i survive this far)

39. who was your first real crush?

girl with bright red jacket in 8th grade, wonder how she is doing now

40. how many piercings do you have?

two(my ears basically), prob have more in future

41. how fast can you run?

ive been told im horrible at running but i try my best

42. what makes you angry?

there is always something new everytime so idk

43. do you like your own name?

yeah, i think its unique and cool, for short i prefer kam or kama tho

44. what are your weaknesses?

social anxiety and just anxiety in general lmao

45. what are your strengths?

good listener, patient ish, and prob napping during the day

46. what color is your bed spread?

light mustard, brown ish?

47. what color is your room?

rlly light blue

[kyunsies]

Hey mädch! How are you today? I had the weirdest dream last night! So basically what happened was I was running around a Costco becuase i was being chased by Monsta x in their twotukgom onesie’s and before I woke up hyungwon and jooheon got me oh and they were on scooters too! And when they caught they started hugging me and laughing. I seemed like it was a nice hug! It was cute but whack! Lol Have a nice weekend! -🥭

hello my angel !!! i’m so so sorry this is late 😭🥺 i’m doing okay hun, hangin in there !! KDJDJDJ WAIT OH MY GOSH 💘💞💖💕💗💗 babe TBIS dream is so wholesome ;______; !!!!!!!!!!!! i cannot believe this cuteness overload happening in a COSTCO KNDJD that part is making me giggle skdndndn but :((((( u got to have such a lovely hug i’m sure <3 i hope you have a nice weekend too angel, do you have anything exciting planned? i love u !!!!! and again i’m so sorry im late ;_____;

[yyxgin]

oh so thé barman is coming on a double date w the other barman 😐 to our workplace (i think). the girls are pretty can’t lie,, bruv i better be working that day,, one of them (barman, i think we know it’s not our beloved electric scooter rider) pisses me off so much. the other is a little fucking sweetheart (not when he’s staring at ass, he pointed one out to me today, although it is funny seeing how he is an ass man over boobs which i didn’t think he would be).

side note: i got to ride his scooter‼️‼️ n then i was scared by my coworker calling my name out of her car window and fell off but it’s okay. i was zooming 💨

i once dated a guy who crashed his dad’s car (without telling him he was going out to drive it) and did dr*gs on another occasion while i was ft-ing him so. p sure you’re doing better than me.

my problem now is, i’m TIRED of being alone and not constantly having someone to talk to/ask to fo out with bc i feel like i’m awful to my friends bc of my shitty rota meaning if i have a day off of work like, we have to go out on that day or nothing. or, i go out before the dinner shift but have to rush back home to run to the bus stop (aggressively power walk) to get the bus in time. it’s like, i don’t wanna have to do that. plus ew sweaty n all that don’t need that before i’ve even started work yuck 🤮 rounding back to me being lonely and praying for a pretty boy,, the new kp at work is hella cute. i went to starbucks on my break and got him coffee today but he left before i got back, like 😐 getting stern words tomorrow. i’ll probably be upset (but not surprised) if he tells me he has a girlfriend. he’s sweet, only a year older than me (i like my men younger than me, if my track record has anything to do w it… OKAY BUT NOT PEDO YOUNG LIKE MY BOYFRIENDS HAVE ALL BEEN A FRE MONTHS YOUNGER THAN ME but still in the same academic year) i also have a thing for maknaes bc they bias wrecker me 😐 im awfully down bad for jungkook and hwasa and i.m. and (i’m scared of jeongin from skz tbh bc he’s too close to me in age) and bambam (ik hes not the maknae but he almost is) so on and so forth

um😩 idk what else to chat to you about but it is almost 3am so i think a goodnight is in order, my love ~ 🌻

awwh im sorry to hear that 😩😩 has the double date already happen ?? do we have any info on that ?? spill the tea bestie

SJSKS WHY IS THAT ME. i am so clumsy,, i rode my best friend's neighbour's like,, electric scooter thing and almost drove into a car and died. these things are scarily fast and i dont like it.

i- yes. you know what, maybe my ex boyfriend wasn't as bad. sure, he was into my best friend, sure, he did tell me i look ugly while wearing a ponytail, but at least he didnt take drugs <3

i totally get that :// it sucks w your work and everything, but nobody can really blame u for wanting to hang out w them on your days off.

DNSKSK how did it go w the second guy ?? so rude of him to leave before getting the coffee smh 🙄🙄 at least u had 2 then <3 also i get your obsession w younger men, i had like 3 crushes on boys one year younger than me 😩 miss girl was very desperate as u can see.

i was lowkey shocked to find out hwasa is the maknae. i totally thought it was wheein. also jungkook is and will forever be my first ever ult i can never get over that boy. jeongin is my other ult too so 🤩🤩 he is too powerful. also he's close in age too but i mean he's still older than me by 2 years so its all good. i get weirded out by groups where there are people younger than me. like enhypen and p1harmony lowkey scare me, why are there babies. literal babies. they should be at school and not getting overworked-

YOU BETTER START GOING TO SLEEP SOONER ❗❗‼

[chwesolai]

change up. | lee chan

inspired by change up by seventeen and grease, yes, the movie (you’ll understand why in a second don’t you worry)

university au!

nerd!chan x class clown!y/n

-

chan spent his times in his books, in his studies, in ‘always looking in the future’. he never took a break. but towards the end of his senior year of high school, his parents wanted to reward his hard work and studious efforts. it was post-finals, he finished, he got into the university he dreamed of. 

he was free, finally.

so the trip began, his family packed their bags and the road trip to Daecheon Beach from Iksan. chan and his younger brother remained silent most of the ride, chan's brother playing on his phone, occasionally showing chan the new character he unlocked.

"you're going to fry your brain because of those games," chan scoffs, lifting his head up from reading.

"you're going to become evil because of all those scary books you read."

"then, let me."

the two brothers laugh and slowly immerse themselves into their activities and as the sun sets, the two fall into a deep sleep.

four more hours later and the sun began to warm chan's face, they have arrived.

y/n's parents allowed her to pick this year's summer family vacation, her older sister picked last year and her older brother did the year before. they've been to the us, europe, japan but she just wanted to stay home. but her family just didn't allow that so she picked the beach. 

"THE BEACH? Y/N ARE YOU KIDDING?" her sister wasn't here for that, but her brother backed her up, "hey less money spending for us then. we wouldn't need to exchange money, buy flight tickets, bla bla blah."

"exactly." y/n proud of her decision.

"alright, i guess we could go visit my hometown's beach then," y/n's dad shrugs looking at her mother, who was nodding in agreement, "ok, saving money this trip, I like it. we could stay at mom's house then," it was set.

y/n packing her bags, excited to just bathe in the sun, swim, eat her grandmother's food again, this was her trip.

the car ride was absolutely chaotic.

y/n gained the entire back seat to herself with her two older siblings stuck ripping each others' heads off in the middle seats.

"I WILL GIVE YOU TWO MY LAST TWO POCKY IF YOU SHUT UP RIGHT NOW." 

"ok bet," her brother held out his hand as his little sister handed him a strawberry pocky packet and her older sister then received her chocolate pocky.

"thank you," y/n bathes in the silence as she goes back to her drama.

the two met at y/n's grandmother's restaurant. y/n was peeling oranges as chan's family walks in, if you're offered to earn some money on vacation, you take it, y/n dropped the peeler, telling her grandma she can take this table.

chan pushed up his glasses as he looks up at the possibly cutest girl he's ever laid eyes on. she was definitely she was shorter than him, her hair held back in two braids, she kept her pen behind her ear and she looked just like how chan envisions the female characters in the classic novels he reads.

"hi welcome to kitchen by paradise, i'm y/n and i will be your server today and if you have any questions about any items on the menu, i'll be more than happy to recommend you anything! now, could i get you all anything to drink?"

chan's mom ordered water, his dad got a cola, his brother banana milk and chan didn't have a clue.

"and for you?" y/n says as she turns her attention towards chan.

"u-um. um. do-do-o you guys have any specialty drinks?"

"oh yeah! we grow our own oranges so we have a whole specialty of drinks. we have an orange-hibiscus iced tea, an orangeade, an orange-pineapple refresher and an orange mint sunrise."

"could i get the orange-pineapple one? please?"

"of course, that's my personal favorite," y/n smiles and chan could've sworn his heart melted, "i will get those ready for you guys and again, if you guys have any questions, call out for y/n!"

"thank you!" chan's parents chimed in as y/n walks away.

"channie has a crush channie has a crush." 

"i will drown you." chan glares at his little brother as his cheeks began to flush.

chan never knew he could fall so easily, i guess this is what happens when you're not focused on studying instead of girls, but this charismatic waitress got his attention.

chan watched y/n peel oranges and make the drink he had ordered, almost feeling bad because the drink looked so tedious to make. he saw the tray of drinks coming their way as she finishes pouring the yellow-orangey iced drink.

"here we go!" she places the drinks at the table, handing each drink to its rightful owner, "so are we ready to order?"

y/n took everyone's orders and y/n couldn't help but giggle at this nerdy guy stuttering ordering his seafood bibibimbap.

he's cute i can't deny it.

"alright let me repeat your guys' order and i'll send this to the kitchen!"

-

chan's family finished their meals and had left while y/n was on her break, disappointing chan, so he jumped to this opportunity. his 18 y/o heart couldn't believe himself that he left his number for this cute waitress he just met, i mean she probably is a local here and i'm here for the next two weeks.

y/n couldn't believe either. she smiled that that dorky kid thought she was cute, so she saved his number, texting him around sunset.

to orange boy: hey! this is y/n!

to server girl: hi! i'm chan i can't believe you actually saved my number ha

to orange boy: i just had to thank the guy who called me cute and also thinks my favorite drink is good because its our least popular haha

to server girl: thats surprising its rly good omg

to orange boy: so are you free tomorrow?

to server girl: i think my family is just hanging out tmr why?

to orange boy: my grandma is sending me to the market tomorrow to pick up some ingredients and i know you're here for vacation and i know im just a stranger but idk want to explore the coast tmr?

chan couldn't believe it, in his 18 years of his life, he is being asked to go out. with a girl. and she isn't trying to steal his study book.

y/n couldn't believe herself, she just asked a stranger to go out with her.

to server girl: i'm down wanna pick me up?

to orange boy: tmr 12pm i'll bring us lunch 

to server girl: sounds like a plan, so whats your favorite color?

the two spent all night getting to know each other, learning they're the same age, chan was older by a month and a half, y/n's favorite color is every color and said some picasso joke making chan laugh in his hotel room. they both felt like they've known each other for years.

the next day came and y/n packed her backpack and her scooter for the day, writing down the list her grandmother has told her the night before and then sending a text to chan for his address.

"I'M TAKING THE SCOOTER!" y/n yells as she runs down the stairs, "TEXT ME IF YOU NEED ME!"

her family all replying as they hear her leave.

as she makes it to the garage, she ensures she brings the second helmet.

this is a vacation. the wind blowing in her hair as she follows the directions to chan's hotel. her dark blue scooter shimmering in the sunlight and she arrives in front of chan's hotel, rich kid huh?

to orange boy: outside by the lobby!!

chan was already in the lobby for the past ten minutes, didn't want to look like a complete weirdo and come out right when she texted so he waited for a good minutes before walking out. he was wanted to be casual, didn't want to screw anything up with her.

"hey! chan over here!" he walked out seeing the pretty girl from the restaurant on a blue electric scooter? taking off her helmet waving her hand around. he smiled and waved back as he walked towards her.

"this is tomi, my trusty stead," she smiles proudly at her scooter making chan stifle a laugh, leading y/n to laugh at his poor hiding of a laugh, "this is yours, hop on!"

"did not expect this to be the start of my day," he laughs as he puts on the helmet, he gets on the back of the scooter and before y/n turns on the scooter, she grabs chan's arms and to his surprise, wraps them around her stomach, "we're going fast so i don't want you falling off," she turns and smiles at him. what am i feeling right now? butterflies swarm around the two teenagers' stomachs, falling in love before they've even gone out.

"oh o-ok."

and they were off. 

y/n parked the scooter in her usual spot, the noise of the market sang to her and before getting off, she introduces the market, "welcome to daecheon market where old men try to peddle tourists and where local teenagers find the best clothes AND one stand has the BEST fruit produce." 

"y/n i think i should just call you fruit girl because you seem very enthusiastic about them," chan smirks

"i dare you to, orange boy."

"alright fruit girl."

the two laugh as they barely even notice chan's arms are still around y/n, y/n begins to take off her helmet right before she bumps chan in the face with her helmet.

"OH MY GOD! i am so sorry chan oh my god im sorry oh my god i-"

"y/n its ok really," chan laughs at her worried look, "i'm all good no bleeding see?"

"alright im still super sorry i kind of forgot i had a passanger with me," she nervously laughs, im such an idiot what is wrong w me wtf y/n

chan hops off and helps y/n down, "thank you, sir," y/n bows.

"you are very welcome madam," chan bows back, leading them both to laugh once more because of their dorkiness.

"here hold this," y/n opens the scooter compartment and hands chan a camera, "thats my prized possession, keep it safe." she pretends to glare at him but ending up laughing anyways, "you're on picture duty and i am on food duty," y/n pulls out a picnic basket and a large water bottle, "before we explore lets eat!"

y/n leads chan down to a secluded area next to the market, "my siblings and i love coming down here and eating lunch and playing ball. its our secret hideout, and you are a new member of paradise cove, mr chan."

"i'm honored," chan couldn't believe how comfortable he felt around her, a stranger that he had a very long text conversation last night about their favorite colors and whether or not aliens exist. y/n couldn't believe either. why did she feel so bubbly around a kid she met on the job at her grandmother's restaurant?

chan helped her put out a small picnic blanket from the basket and y/n began to pull out the food, “so i remembered your order from the other day and grandma pulled through and made some more this morning and a special touch, an orange-pineapple refresher. dig in!”

-

their picnic was nothing but boring, time passed so quickly while they talked more about the city and high school and where they want to go for univerity, and what they want to be. a convesation nether of the two have had with another human being. they both took some pictures while they were at it, y/n always doing some silly pose when chan had the camera and chan always looking away from the camera. they were comfortable with one another. 

“so, let’s explore the market shall we?” chan standing up, offering his hand to her, she was hesistant at first, “come on y/n i don’t bite,” he laughs, looking away. feeling odd with  his hand out for so long, he looks back at her smiling this time, “i’m feeling a cramp coming on”

standing up, she grabs his hand and pulls him close to her, both of their faces flushed now. y/n had NO idea what she was doing, “can i?” she looked at his lips and then back up at his eyes, prepare for any reaction

“yes,” once y/n heard his answer, his hand caressed the side of y/n’s face and pressed their lips together, almost melting into the kiss. y/n felt her cheeks burn up, the kiss lasted a few seconds but felt like an eternity. pulling away, the two laughed with their eyes closed and foreheads pressed against each other, “so the market?” y/n slowly opened her eyes, seeing the flustered boy in front of her interlocking their hands together.

“i thought you were the romantic,” he smiles back.

-

two spent nearly everyday together. y/n told chan she didn’t live in daecheong, they both knew they were both on vacation and the day one of them was leaving was soon appoarching them. “what will you do without me?” “cry.” “shut up chan” “you asked i answered~!”

chan didn’t want to believe but neither did y/n. their two weeks was up, y/n helped chan pack. “are you really going to cry?” “y/n you’re my first kiss, my first love, my first crush, the first girl that actually has gotten my attention so what do you think?” “now, you’re going to make me cry.” she pouts “y/n you have my number, i have my license, you have a kickass scooter. we have ways to still see each other even if that means our universities are miles apart, we can do this.”

-

to orange boy: i miss you

they couldn’t do it. the long distance lasted about a month and then school started.

to server girl: i’m sorry

chan was at yonsei university and back to his old ways. head in the books, no partying no social interaction just studying. this physical therapy major wasn’t moving an inch.

now, what chan didn’t know was y/n was ALSO at yonsei. this visual arts major was the biggest party animal on campus. she ruled frat parties and she was a good students. her professors loved her and her charm.

- ten months later -

HALLOWEEN

“CHAN! you have to come dude!” chan’s roommate, xuxi, begs him. xuxi was the polar opposite of chan, same age same major COMPLETELY different social class.

“no ‘xi for the last time, i’m not a party guy.”

“chan please dude, its a costume party, nobody will know its you.” chan began to consider it, when was the last time i had fun?

“what are you dressing up as?”  “i’m going to be capt. american because im going as the avengers with mark and the other guys. if you don’t want to be recognized then wear a mask, be a masquarade ball dude? idk wear a suit and a mask, be that DUDE”

“i’m in.” here we go lee chan

to server girl: finally going out with the boys for the first time hope you’re well i miss you

y/n read the text almost immediately, “i wonder where he’s going?”

“who?” y/n’s roommate jungeun asled as she’s doing her makeup.

“some summer fling, he just texted me after like three months.”

“he’s more than a summer fling hon if you saw his text so fast.”

“shut up”

“kiss me,” jungeun stuck her tongue out at her, “so what are you dressing up as y/n?”

“poision ivy, mark said they’re going to be the avengers and so i’m showing him up and being dc’s sexiest villian.”

“you’re such a heartbreaker miss y/n let the boy breathe, he may have cheated but-”

“but nothing! he treated me like a one night stand and i wanted more! im going all out!”

-

chan looked at himself one more time in the mirror and xuxi walked behind him in his captain america outfit, “my son you look so fucking good,” pretending to tear up

“shut up,” chan rolled my eyes, sitting back down on his bunk, “should i still go?”

“YES! you look good dude! can’t even recognize you, you look so different and the contacts? you’re really hiding your identity with this one channie.”

“this is the only night we get to be other people so,” he puts on his lacey masquarade mask he bought from target, ‘let’s go.”

xuxi wraps his arm around him, “LETS FUCKING GO!”

-

“MISS Y/N YOU DID THAT HONEY!”

jungeun and y/n nearly in shock of how well this costume curves around her body.

“green is your color girl,” jungeun sighs, “you knock them dead baby.”

“you look amazing yourself j OMG ms daphne over here.”

“I’m finding my fred tonight ok?” she smiles as she ties her scarf around her neck.

y/n places her red mask on, “i’m heading out!”

“HANG ON!” y/n was practically out the door before jungeon runs out, “ok ready.”

“let’s go fuck shit up.”

-

the party was everything chan was not used to, drinking, loud music, people EVERYWHERE, you could say he was slightly overwhelmed. 

you could say he also wasn't used to the attention around him, girls coming up to ask if they wanna hook up or take a shot with him which he declined all of them until she walked in.

ms poison ivy walked in.

it was about 30 minutes after the party started and y/n walked in like she owned the place, jungeon next to her, y/n walked in red heels and green latex in its full glory.

"i'll go get us drinks!" jungeon pracatically screams in y/n's ear.

"OK!" now alone, chan saw this as an opportunity, still not knowing who that was or even who he was in this moment he walked up to her.

"hi!" y/n was drawn back but the handsome stranger in front of her

"HI!"

"I THINK YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY!"

"THANK YOU! I THINK YOU LOOK PRETTY HOT YOURSELF! LET ME GUESS, a VAMPIRE?"

the music got increasingly louder as this conversation went on so chan yelled back, "NOT EXACTLY, IM A MASQUERADE BALL HOST"

y/n felt eyes beaming her up and down and she saw him, mark, and before he could come any closer, y/n kissed this handsome stranger in front of him.

chan had no idea what was going on but he really didn't care anymore, this kiss began to be a full makeout session in the middle of the dance floor.

"IM SORRY BUT DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE?"

"YEAH I DO ACTUALLY"

 both of them walk out of the loud frat house, "so who do i owe this honor to mr masquerade man?"

"chan, i'm chan. how about you?"

"i'm sorry did you say c-chan?"

y/n hasn't heard that name in what feels like ages until today.

"yes? is something wrong?"

was it really him?

"no its just i knew someone named chan awhile back, ha." she sadly smiled.

it can't be him chan was never this bold.

"ah i see, how about you ms poison ivy?"

"y/n"

"y/n huh?"

"yes, what about it?

"do you still have that blue scooter?" chan takes off his mask and turns to face the girl he's been wondering about for so long.

"c-chan?"

"long time no see huh?"

"i-i-i didn't even recognize you? where're your glasses? did you get your braces off too? your hair's lighter, you look really good, chan," she sighs in disbelief.

"college does stuff to you i guess," he nervously rubs the nape of his neck, "and you? wow. i didn't think someone could look so gorgeous in latex." he smiles all goofy.

"chan."

"y/n?"

pulling herself into his chest, "i've missed you, im sorry for being an asshole, im sorry for saying those things i shouldve held on im sorry im-"

"nothing is your fault y/n, look at me," he pulls her out of his chest, "i'm here now! we just needed time i guess," he lets out a small laugh.

"now you're the jokester mr lee."

"lets restart. hi im chan."

"hi im y/n," she smiles and takes his hand in hers, "lets never leave again."

"yes ms poison ivy."

“never call me that again.”

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issues 4&5

its delphi time babey

I'm sorry but drift & co look like such fuckin nerds on their scooter things on the cover lmaooo

oh god. seeing the first page just reminded me of how horribly confused i was for this whole little arc the first time i read it. i was like ok, who are all these new characters, and also why does everyone look so similar

anyways now i now what's going on. i love first aid

love the running continuity of rung being the literal only psychologist on cybertron (except for fr*id but that's later). no wonder everyone's fucked up they all have to share a single therapist 

ok i find it extremely funny that first aid was demoted from doctor to nurse, as if that's a thing that happens EVER - I mean it'd be one thing if first aid was a nurse practitioner (which i doubt is a position that exists here), at least that demotion would make sense, but like...the doctors i work with don't know how to do most nurse stuff (like BP, cathing, vaccinations, hell even using some of the thermometers - that's all stuff nurses/etc do), so demoting one to a nurse would be a disaster (just like promoting a really good nurse to a doctor would be a bad idea). anyways i know I'm being pedantic but it Be like that when you work in the medical field and read something that has medicine-related stuff in it

i love swerve giving ratchet the tiniest free drink ever lmaooo

is that skids being a rowdy drunk in the bg lmaoooo

unironically i love medical statistics. keep it comin

i love magnus’s giant sternal chestpiece thing. its like a bird’s sternum but without the massive pec muscles attached 

i love magnus and rodimus’s dynamic so much

oh pipes....im so sorry but this fun space adventure is going to be not so much fun for you

ratchets ideologies are certainly interesting, and i liked seeing how they changed over the course of the story

drift: why would i be SCARED of the DJD, I've got a SWORD, two swords even,

hvbhajkhfbsdjkf pipes really said ‘oi, you two - what's this, then?’ that's the most british fucking thing, that's literally something i say when I'm doing an overexaggerated british accent, oh my god,

PIPES IS SUCH A TINY DUMBASS. ILY SIR BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

aaaand now you're covered in dead bodies, pipes. look at your life, look at your choices

drift epic sword moments

drift confirmed for the kinda weird guy who has katanas that he uses to like, cut up fruit and water bottles in his backyard while rodimus films him

‘i thought i heard...bickering’ lmaooooo

ah, so its covid

this arc is how i feel working in healthcare lmaooo especially now that i probably have covid 

so rewind condensed the entire war into an 11 second long cringe compilation. nice

seeing the mechanical stuff past tailgate’s visor is so cool

poor tailgate, this guy is getting slammed with history from multiple sides. and like, bias is inevitable in ANY sort of recounting of events, especially controversial historical events, so poor tg just kinda has to take it all in and decide who to listen to 

that’s...not really how immunity works, guys. also, you shouldn't be exposed to so much disease with proper ppe usage

is there even such thing as ppe in the transformers universe?? there are fluid- and contact-transmitted illnesses, so there SHOULD be

is there even OSHA in this universe??????? unbelievable 

first aid, holding a giant fucking claw clamp: we haven't tried EVERYTHING............

first aid read a human wikihow article on how to jumpstart a car and took notes 

i love tailgate’s ‘mom says its my turn on the xbox’ pose 

tailgate has a point - he’s from pre-war times, where things weren't as grey so of course he would try to divide the two sides into ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’

CYCLONUS BE NICE DONT HIT UR FUTURE HUSBAND

go get some character development and then maybe you'll feel better

seeing the word quarantine is making me twitchy w/my possible month-long complete isolation quarantine on the horizon

drift pulling his swords on pipes and ratchet pushing down drift’s arms...lmao

poor pipes...even tho this is completely his fault, its still rough

also jesus, pharma and ratchet look so goddamn similar, reading this was so confusing the first time around 

drifts idea of subduing pipes involves turning into a cool car and also posing with his sword

also. never gonna be over drift’s massive thighs. jesus man

ooof now drift has the rona. ouch 

poor drift, his covid realization is getting overshadowed by pharma being flung around

first aid bustin thru w/the epic medical nipple clamps and some Big Boi Backup

ok that's an epic pre-beatdown speech from fort max right there, daym 

im just gonna continue on w/issue 5 now for continuity’s sake. yay!

the cover of tailgate in magnus’s autobot school is so cute

and we open with an incredible shot of fort max str8 up ripping a guy in half. i mean, to be fair, he DID just give an epic speech about how much he was gonna do that, and he certainly followed thru

yeahhhhh, fort max is not doing so well atm

when he puts that dudes head in his chest vent thing and then snaps it shut....man 

also i fucking LOVE when their faces are shaded all in black w/only the eyes/mouth fully drawn...fantastic stuff

ratchet: phew i am not equipped to deal w/this level of Fucked Up Mental Trauma. u good m8?

ratchet is already writing up a referral to rung for fort max as this is happening

drift is just laying on the ground dying like, oh hey yeahh I'm still here too 

i fucking love when punctuation is drawn in story - like here where first aid has a little ? over his head....fav

ratchet holding drifts hand ;_; 

ok tbh ambulon having switched sides 10 yrs ago is wild bc like, 10 years is barely any time for these guys, especially in a war that lasted 4 million years. that would be like a human switching sides in a war like, 3 months before it ends. probably. i sense some math bs, I'm just extrapolating here

all that mexican standoff shit is going down and first aid is just like But That's None Of My Business

ah so ambulon is an asymptomatic carrier 

and there's first aid with the save! iconic

pharma calling ratchet ‘buddy’ hbvakjdsbfhkasdf

ooooh i love that they figured it out - and i love that twist, that transforming is what triggers the start of symptoms. remember when drift turned into a cool car? yep

s/o to Ambulon Transformers for helping me in my medical terminology courses, bc now ill always remember: Leg(tm)

also this explanation makes a ton more sense (in universe, at least) than the whole ‘i guess we as medical staff have been exposed to enough Germz that we’re more immune to this or something’ theory 

ah, i love the meaningless (to me) alien robot medical jargon 

drift and ratchet hhhhhhhhh

‘I'm too wide’ fort max L O R G E

also once again drift is forgotten in favor of a bunch of other dramatic stuff happening vbhjksdfbjhskdf

godddd i love tailgates little flashbacks where we see how Important and Special he is, complete with his ‘bomb disposal’ arm label...augh its so good! 

and tailgate’s autopedia page even reflects his lies! like, did tailgate go edit that first thing upon waking up??? seriously, I'm fascinated by tailgate’s meticulous dedication to his fake life

also the fact that ultra magnus believes everything he read on autopedia is amazing lmao

ultra magnus: you think somebody would just go on the internet and tell lies? 

fuckgin love magnus’s long ass name/title placard 

tailgate hvbahjkdfbjhaskf i mean, he’s gotten the abridged version of everything else, of course he would assume that’d be the case here too...but not on magnus’s watch

magnus cant even say ‘fun’ hvukdasdbjfkjsadf i love my uptight law dad

love rung implying that upon questioning, he would easily divulge a patient’s name and maybe even information about said patient’s treatment while under him....love the disregard for patient confidentiality and hipaa in general 

not that hipaa seems to exist here, at least not in a fully realized form 

also i mean the above genuinely, i think rung’s tendency towards at least slight malpractice is very interesting 

poor red alert....super bad luck that HE was the guy to get roped up in that overlord business 

I'm glad that, at the very least, red alert was able to prove that he was Actually hearing something to rung, rather than get brushed off completely 

god magnus and tailgate’s interactions are golden 

also tg is much more sarcastic/quippy than anyone gives him credit for tbh

‘thought warfare,’ ultra magnus says with complete seriousness. god i fucking love this comic

now i can tell pharma apart from ratchet bc pharma has let his true Petty Bitch nature emerge and you can see it in his expressions

the whole ‘tarn is addicted to transforming’ thing didn't really go anywhere, right? i feel like i noticed that on my second readthru as well 

also pharma is such an interesting character given the context of him like, trying to strike a bargain w/the djd to keep them from destroying delphi, but that arrangement inevitably kinda making him lose it as the situation escalates. he’s also just really entertaining bc i feel like he kins the joker or st and probably gets into really heated arguments w/people on twitter about just abt anything

‘sound bomb’ i love this comic

another important facet of pharma’s character becomes clear around this time as well - how he’s really into ratchet. i also choose to read them as awful exes tbh, it makes their dynamic even more entertaining

‘killmaster, with the wand’ is one of my favorite running remarks lmao

also, was killmaster even a character before mtmte? or, if he was, was he an important one? it would crack me up the most if he literally didn't exist at all, but any way you spin it is still funny 

ratchet’s tiny humansona facing off against pharma is wild

‘I'm miles from anyone i truly care about’ brutal, ratchet, drift is dying like 2 floors away (im p sure)

SUDDENLY DRIFT IS HERE, ACTUALLY 

oh don't worry first aid, that sure isn't the last we’ll be seeing of pharma 

so like, did first aid save everyone by posting that data log to his wreckers fan blog or something? lmao love it 

i love the pretty fucked up reveal of ratchet having stolen pharma’s hands. like, damn dude. 

and that wraps up the delphi arc! our first true ‘arc’ of mtmte, and a fantastic one at that. short and snappy and fresh, with some very clever writing and cool new characters, and a lot of great plot threads to be picked up later. plus, we got to see the beginnings of drift and ratchet’s whole thing (and ratchet and pharmas whole thing). and the lost light gets some much needed extra medical staff, so everyone wins! 

well, we’ll see how fort max feels about this all pretty soon.....

[shhhhyoursister]

AHHHHH @rimbaux tagged me in this so im gonna!!!! do it!!!!! flo ily!!!!!!!

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people

tagging: @chlouais @sovereign-of-the-castle @vildelesbianqueen @davenziabend @bagels-and-seagulls @sourflorenzi im not gonna tag leaf cause they tagged flo and flo tagged harri so im also not gonna tag my husband sadly akdjajfja

nickname: oh jeez ive got a few!!! i got nog and noggins from the dod, i used to be called nj at camp, and my friend calls me "baby cocktail" cause theres a drink at a restaurant we go to a lot called that and well,, i AM baby

zodiac sign: scorpio sun/pisces moon!!! im much more pisces though!!!!!

height: yo im like 5'2' im tiny

hogwarts house: i used to want to be cool so id say slytherin but im absolutely NOT a slytherin im a fuckin hufflepuff aldjajfka

last thing i googled: "spotify pauses when i open other apps iphone" thats so boring aldjaj sorry but it keeps HAPPENING and i HATE it

fave musicians: oh god here we go; sufjan stevens, lizzo, janelle monae, dixie chicks, beatles, green day, troye sivan, abba, mom jeans, hhh thats all i can think of rn????

song stuck in my head: recently its been "dance this mess around" by the b-52s which is,,, a very interesting song!!!!! i love it!!!!!!

following: 638 YIKES most are probably inactive though lol (im gonna copy harri and add that my main is @beachboburt so if you get followed from that it me!!!!!!!)

followers: oh jeez here its 188 and i love every single one of you!!!!!

do you get asks?: i do when i ask people to send me prompts or questions usually, and then sometimes i get a random one and it makes me 😭😭 its my FAVORITE THING

amount of sleep: lmao hhhh on average id say like 4 hours a night???? its all thanks to the dungeon gays and timezones being homophobic

what are you wearing?: black shorts and a shirt from my high school music department lol it was a lazy day and super warm out!!!

dream job: my goal is to work with kids with autism spectrum disorders and its honestly also my dream job????

dream trip: oooo i really want to go to greece and italy cause theyre so pretty but also i want to go back to portland, oregon cause that place was so fun and gay!!!!!!!!

instruments: ive played the clarinet for like 12 years (im actually like highkey really good) and i can also play the guitar and ukulele!!!!

languages: im a native english speaker and me and flo have actually talked ahout this before but i took french dor 6 years and i dont remember any of it besides a few dumb words, and im currently learning ASL and i really want to get good at that!!!

10 favorite songs: oh my god this is tough but ill try my best (this changes day by day)

1. dance yrself clean (lcd soundsystem)

2. wicked little town-reprise (hedwig and the angry inch)

3. love shack (b-52s)

4. dont wanna fall in love (green day)

5. the good side (troye sivan)

6. truth hurts (lizzo)

7. i dont trust u anymore (left at london)

8. casimir pulaski day (sufjan stevens)

9. how have you been? (tom rosenthal)

10. song that might play when you fight sans (undertale lmao)

random fact: um something thats like a big part of who i am (which sounds kind of dumb tbh but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) is that i have like,, big curly hair??? like lots of curly hair and its just really important to me???

aesthetic: sweaters, baggy shirts and fuckboy shorts/pants, hearts and smiles and winks and blushing, music all the time, dark hair dark eyes, dogs dogs dogs, loving my friends, very enthusiastic when im involved in something, lots of punctuation!!!!!, scootering around campus, forehead and cheek kisses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this was so fun AHHHH

[soflsms]

   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  

trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name  :   sofie sydney almeda

nicknames  :   sof

age  :  twenty - two  .

birthday  :  december  eleventh  .

zodiac  :  sagittarius  .

gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .

pronouns  :  she    &    her  .

height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .

hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .

nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .

ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .

label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .

occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  

quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .

background

         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho  she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.

         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!

        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel  any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .

         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion  for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  

          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .

        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen  go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  

        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)

personality

        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!

        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear

         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  

         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much

has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  

tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .

wanted (* = mw)

friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  

friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 

come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!

*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  

*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)

fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls

***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh  itd  be  messy  pls !!

party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by  them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it

 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them

music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  

* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  

* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(

exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  

i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all  

[chocosvt]

(1/2) omg.... vernon as an air bender.... choco u genius.... seungkwan and joshua are adored by the water tribe people bc they’re always so in tune with their needs!! even tho everyone knows seungkwan is a Character, there was always a part of thin that had reservations bc of his role as one of the high authorities... and then vernon visits the water tribe as part of a diplomatic thing and they get on like a house on fire!!!

continued: (2/2) vernon is so carefree in a good way and it helps seungkwan gain confidence to not feel like he has to be a little graceful or elegant all the time like joshua natural seems to be and he starts to indulge in harmless little pranks that no one can get mad at bc hello?? have u seen mr seungkwan covering his mouth with a big fluffy sleeve with a big eye smile trying to stifle his laughter and failing?? his bubbly nature is so much more enhanced and people love him more for it! im off to cry!!!             

ahhhhhh my heart;;;,,,, yes vernita coming to visit the water tribe beneath the diplomatic orders of the air monks. maybe he has some important scrolls to deliver to the water tribe’s chief or there is some sort of trade goin down and vern is there to collect smth. he spirals down from the bright skies and finds himself in the centre of a training camp, where young water benders are standing with their personal urn, bending the water inside and slowly guiding it through the air. and vernon is so allured by this concept that he starts wandering between the students, completely forgetting his purpose and why he initially flew there in the first place lol.

suddenly there’s a loud shout from across the yard, “why is there an air bender distracting my students?” and vernita has this sheepish ear-to-ear grin on his face when he sees powerful seungkwan stepping down the staircase looking cross, arms folded over his chest. vern’s all flustered as he scratches behind his head like “sorry dude i was curious” but seungkwan is not having it. he’s abt to go off on vernon when joshua appears from inside the healing camp like “ahh calm down seungkwan, he’s probably here to for our trading ceremony”

the entire time seungkwan DOES NOT take his eyes off of vernon. he’s just…. expecting him to do smth stupid, like blast around on his air scooter and bump over a wrack of professional water tribe tools (he does and seungkwan’s abt to fight him but joshua keeps them apart sssjjsj) but like as much as seungkwan wants to get mad at this air bending dude, he’s entranced by his carefree attitude. the next thing kwan knows: himself, josh, and vernita are on top of the bridge, tightly giggling into their fists as they drop snowballs on whoever walks below :,)  and seungkwan is like “maybe ure not so bad for an air bender”

[thepinkspov]

Perceval

"You are my favourite music that I'll never get tired of listening"

10/25/22

Hi.

Belated happy birthday!

I really want to greet u thru ig, but wa na lang kay maulaw ko haha.

I purposely made this letter to confess, to let u know how I feel towards u. I know this is so cliche for u maybe bcos this isn't ur thing. But I hope u understand that this is the only way I know.

I know u are wondering right now about who I am. I want to confess my feelings without revealing my identity for two reasons: (1) maulaw ko, my self-confidence is not yet enough for me to show up, I need more time, maybe after ko maka graduate sa college puhon hahaha char; (2) I want u, as well as me, to be comfortable if ever makakita ko nmo. Kay once e reveal nako akong identity, basi nyag mag tago² ko inig makit an tika haha and u know I don't like that. I want to look fine and collected whenever u are around. I don't want to miss a single moment looking at u even from afar coz im afraid that it would be the last time I would be seeing u. Kaya lubos-lubosin ko na lol. U might think I'm a creep but no, this is just me expressing my feelings haha. Taas² baya ni so hope u have enough time to read pretty pleaseeee.

I heard about u when I got interested to someone u are close with when I was still in grade 8. As far as I can remember, I got a crush to that someone at the age of 14. Happy crush ra ba. As a hopeless romantic teenage girl who got a crush to someone years older than her, I find ways to know him, his family and friends. I asked my most trusted friends about that, until they mentioned ur name. Spencer. To be honest, I made fun of ur name coz it sounds like a name of a dog haha (sorry 😭). They say u r the silent one among ur siblings and also the "suplado" haha. I was curious so I stalked ur fb acc, I even sent u a friend request yet u just ignored it 💀. So I followed u on ig. I did all of these not bcos I was interested to you, but bcos I was interested to someone related to u. The first time I saw ur pic, katong naa dagwy kas kasal ato or debut or whatsoever, familiar imo face but I don't remember nga nakakita ko nmo before, ur name doesn't ring a bell either. But ur face really look familiar. Nevertheless, I just ignored that.

ff. I was 15 when I first saw u. U were driving a scooter dagwy to ah basta murag scooter nga gamay kaayo haha cute gani ka kaayo ato lantawon 🤭. And you know what, that moment, I felt like everything was in slow motion. Basig nag tuo ka ba nga gama² ra ni nako, di baya jd. Everything I said was true. Mu labang na mn unta gd ko ato kay mu palit ug ice water sa atbang, nya nag pa dulong mn ka gasakay ug motor so nagpa abot ko nga maka labay ka. While doing that, I was also looking at your face when suddenly my eyes met yours hahaha pero imo ra pong gi bawi dayun w/ matching poker face 🙂. Mao to akong first kita nmo. Then naka conclude ko nga ay, my friends were right, u are suplado nga haha. Understandable mn pd kay wa baya ka kaila nako alangan mn mu smile ka nako or mu tango? lol pero mao jd na akong first impression pd nmo haha.

However, after that day, I started thinking about u and that fleeting moment especially everytime we talked about something related sa imo family since your family is quiet famous in La Libertad. Tungod pd ato, I became so curious nmo kay familiar lagi imo face. I think I've seen u before but can't remember when.

ff. In grd 10, my curiosity continued until I've learned some things about u, ur studies, hobbies and of course, your love of music and instruments. Im an active followers of yours on ig that's why I heard u playing guitar, keyboard, drums and violin. I can see how passionate u were on playing those things. You just don't play well, u play with all ur heart, with love. I didn't know that slowly, my curiosity leads me into something else. Nagka crush nako nmo sir!

ff. I was 18 when I decided to enrol sa music class dhas munisipyo when akong silingan mag mention sa opening. I planned to enrol since I want to learn how to play an instrument. Before pandemic, layhan jd ko mag pa enrol dha pero ana mn sila nga strikta daw ang nagtudlo hahaha. But now, lahi na mn kuno. And I was told usa mn pd daw ka sa mga teachers but sa guitar daw ka. During the last enrolment, I saw u sitting along with ur friends outside LTO office ba to. I took a quick glance at u, afraid u might caught me stealing glances, I went upstairs immediately for the registration silently hoping nga mu saka pd kas taas haha. And u did. Mura kog atakihon sa ka kulba ato nga time tbh hahaha. But my acting skills never fail me so I was just like a normal innocent kitten that time lol. Pero naglibog jd ko nganong gikulbaan kog taman ato nga time wa mn ta koi sala. But u know what, I like that kind of feeling. I was happy seeing u that close. I saw the way u talk, and the way u smile, is charming. I heard u talk, laugh a bit, and ur voice, and how u handle your students very well.

Then we had a small interaction the second time I went there. Naa mn gd koi clarification sa schedule sa amo klase, nya mangutana mn unta ko ni kuya moi², kay sha moi duol nako that time. Pero wa ko nangutana nya hahaha I waited for u to come to the table near me haha then diha nako nangutana nmo hahaha paraparaan char haha. It was just a small interaction but it means a lot to me. I like the way your eyes bore into mine while answering my question bsag pila ra to ka words imo gi utter haha solve na ako adlaw sir haha. Sugod ato, my feelings for u changed a bit. I felt something I didn't know I could feel at a young age. No, it was not love. More than crush, yes, but I know that is different from love. I am sure of that. Infatuation? Maybe. Nag padayun ang klase, pero wa ko kalahutay. Busy ko sa modules, graduating pa pd ko that time.

ff. Until I graduated senior high, my feelings for u stayed the same. Wa na kwaan, na dungagan pa gani. Ambot ngano. In ani dagwy ni sa kung interesado ka sa usa ka tawo? or maybe it's just me.

Until I heard rumours about what's going on with u and the girl I know. Sorry for being nosy hehe di lang jd malikayan basta kabahin nmo ang topic. My friends told me there was something on between u two. I didn't believe them at first coz I thought mag on pa sila sa iya ex not until I saw u together sa senyoricha haha. Ouch. wa baya ko nang stalk ha na kit-an ra jd tamo kay pa sulod mn pd mi ato sa senyoricha kay mu palit ug milkshake. Okay ra mn ko that time hahah happy crush ra baya ni akoa. Although I was a little bit heartbroken, alangan crush nmo, naay ka date, kinsay di ma apektuhan di ba? hayst pero okay ra hehe mura rag pinaakan sa dinosaur. Of course I got jealous and insecure. It's inevitable.

ff. Until u pass the board exam. The urge to congratulate u that time was too much yet I chose to stop myself and instead, I thank God for ur success. I was so proud of u, really. I know u worked really hard to become what u are today. Congratulations!

Then the band, First String, where u are the lead guitarist. Congratulations for all of your achievements together. I never heard u play in person. Sa mga gigs nnyo, di pd ko ka adto kay busy sa school, layo pa jd ang uban maong sa mga vids sa socmed ra ko makakita ug maka paminaw. Until last sept. 24, kita ko gi post, naa daw moi live music sa pocket park! Lipay kaayo ko kay duol ra finally makakita nako nnyo mu perform live! I invited my friends from guihulngan to come para naa pd koi kuyog, ako pd gihuman tanang assignment namo para wa koi problema na haha. I was excited and ready to go. But, unfortunately, nag ulan mn nya wai klaro kung maka ari akong mga kuyog kay nag motor ra sila. So at the end, natug na lang ko missing the opportunity to watch your performance. It was okay, though. Maybe di pa to ang time para nako hehe. Then I learnt it was a party for u daw diay for passing the board exam abi nakog mu perform ra mo same sa uban nnyong gigs hehe. Congratulations sa imo oath-taking! Finally RME na ka. Deserve.

Taas kaayo sa? hahaha I hope wa ka gi kapuyan ug binasa. Naa pa ta koi e chika nmo pero akoa na lang to hahaha. Kay kung e include pa to nako, maybe naa na kai idea kung kinsa ko haha. Might keep it instead.

I'm 19 yrs old. First year college. Future educator. I have feelings for you for almost 3 years. Decided to confess after ur birthday to let u know my feelings towards u and also, to get rid of this feeling, eventually. They said if u confess, there's a possibility na ma wa ang feelings. That's what I have to do. Admiring u from afar is exciting. Bsag pangalan ra gani nmo akong ma dungog, mu igting dayun akong dalunggan hahahaha makakita lang ko nga naa kai new update sa imong ig hala view dayun, like dayun hahaha mag hyperventilate gani ko kung mu view kas ako ig hahaha charot ra. It was a wonderful feeling, indeed. But I have to stop myself, from liking u. I have to get rid of this sweet feeling before it turns into something most people take for granted. Love. I'm afraid I might fall to someone I only thought about for years. I'm afraid I might fall in love with the idea of you. That's ridiculous, isn't it? Being in love with somebody that u only used to know is like falling in love with a book. U can love it all u want, but it's a story that runs parallel to yours. At the end of the day, it's static. It's memory. It's a sentence and you can't change it. It end how it ends. It says what it says. I think that's not good at all. I think that's scary. Scary bcos it will cost me pain at the end. So mintras wa pa ko ana nga stage, ako nang ihunong, and the best way I know to stop this feeling, is through confession. Mutuo mn gd ko anang ma wa ra daw dayun ang feelings kung mu confess ka sa imo crush hahah I've been there na mn gd. You know, feelings fade, and I'm holding on to the idea that what I feel for u would eventually fades. Let's see if this feeling will fade, pila gd ni ka years ako gi ampingan haha. And if it does, I will let u know.

I am so grateful bcos I met u. You inspired me by just being you. You are a registered mechanical engineer, a musician, and a teacher, a loving brother and son, and u have a cat or cats? haha. To be honest, this is not really what I want. I want to embrace this feeling and know u more. Know u better. Knowing certain things about you isn't knowing you better. I know there is more in you I want to discover, the real you. But I can't bcos that's beyond impossible. You don't know me, and if u do, u might just ignore me cos I know ur types and I'm not one of those. You are almost perfect. Kind, simple, handsome and charming, talented, smart, u have a loving family, and a smile that lights up a room and from that, I knew you are out of my league. Yet, I smiled. We were under the same sky, at least. Nevertheless, I chose to stop and move on with myself before feeling more than this.

This letter serves as a farewell for my feelings for u. I pray for u and ur family, for ur happiness and well being. I only want the best for u. May u find peace and love u think u deserve. And when the time comes u start questioning your worth, remember that u don't need to accomplish anything to be a worthwhile human being. Remember that there is someone out there admiring all the things u do, always proud.

You are the person I'll never stop looking for in a crowded place.

I'll see you when the road decides it's time for our paths to cross again, RME Spencer Perceval T. Husain.

-Pink Panther